#curse of me and my dad both desperately wanting cats but not living in a pet friendly apartment *clenches fist

[primsycoldbottles]

i need to stop watching vlogs of ppl with cats bc it makes me want a cat again sooooo bad

[hsjazebel]

Desperate part 2*

Word count: 2763

A/n: I’m sorry to have made you wait so long for part 2, but here it is! I hope you enjoy💘

main masterlist | desperate masterlist

“I'm gonna fuck you so good you won't be able to look me in the eyes for a week without blushing."

He looks you straight in the eyes and your mind is blank, you just want to be fucked so good and not think about anything.

“Cat got your tongue? I've barely touched you and you're already all stupid! You just want my cock in your little pussy, don't you?”

You nod not having the strength to speak, but this isn't enough for him.

“Words, baby. I need to hear your beautiful voice. Is that what you want?”

"Yes, yes. I want you!"

“Oh is it, pretty girl? You want me? Who expected that the good girl who knows how to cook such good pasta would actually hide a dirty part! But don't worry, now I'm here to scratch your itch, I'll treat your pussy so good I'll ruin you! Are you ready pretty girl? There’s no turning back.”

“Yes, I want it so bad!”

“Good girl!”

And so, he sticks his cock in you and it's like the rest disappears. You lie there with your mouth open making little moans because of the feeling of his big cock opening you up and stretching you out to make his way in your pussy.

“This is all you’re good for, just a hole for me to fuck. Such a nice, wet little pussy for m-“

The sound of your alarm clock wakes you up from your wet dream. You open your eyes trying to adjust to the light coming from the windows. Last night you forgot to lower the shutters and you're mentally cursing yourself for it.

The memories of your dream are still in your mind that you can even feel your panties getting wet.

It's been a week since your first meeting with Harry and it's been a week that you only have him on your mind.

This isn't the first time you've had a dream like this. And you know it won't be the last either.

You desperately want to take care of yourself but you don't have time because you promised your mother to go out and do some shopping together.

You decide to go take a cold shower trying not to think about the all too real feeling of Harry fucking you.

Then you choose an outfit for the day and go down to the living room where you find your mother fully dressed.

“I'm so happy to have a mother-daughter day! It's been a while since we went shopping together. I'm sad your sister isn't here too, it would have been nice to just be girls!” Your mom says as she grabs her purse and keys.

“Yeah, but she’s like Dad, she doesn't like shopping,” you follow her as you leave the house.

“I really don't know how she doesn't feel like going out and buying new clothes!” She laughs.

“I always ask myself that too!” You laugh along with her.

You both head towards the city center and start entering various shops.

After spending an hour trying on clothes, you decide to go into Sephora, a place you can't resist, and while you're debating whether or not to buy the Rare Beauty blush you hear your mother's phone ringing. She spends a few minutes on the phone and when she hangs up the call she looks at you with a sad look.

“They just called me from work. They said they found a motive against the other defendant in the trial. I have to go to the office. I'm so sorry to have to leave now, I even thought about going to brunch together.” You can tell she wasn't happy about leaving, but your mom was an established lawyer in your city, and she was now working on this very important case, she couldn't do anything about it.

“Don't worry Mom, I know how important this case is for you! I think I'll take another look in here and then I'll go get something to eat quickly,” you smile at her trying to cheer her up. “Come on, don't make that face, I'll stay here all summer, we'll find many more days to have another mother-daughter moment.”

"You are right! It seems to me that I don't see you very often and I was so happy to spend this day with you! Please don't spend too much money on makeup, I know you don't have a minimum of self-control when you come in here,” she laughs as she hugs you goodbye. You hug her back and with that you see her leave the shop.

You finish your shopping trip - and you may not have exactly listened to what your mother told you about not buying too much makeup - and decide to go alone to that brunch you were supposed to have with her.

You arrive at a small place near the center called Jerome and already from the outside you could see that the interior was all decorated in pink and this caught your attention.

You had passed by here several times but you had never seen it or heard the name of the place, so you deduce that it is a new opening, and so you decide to go in.

The interior was as you expected, all pink with neon cursive writing. On the left was a wall covered in pink and white roses with large swings as eating stations, which also had a large teddy bear that you found absolutely adorable, and on the left a large glass counter showing that which, in your opinion, was paradise.

A waitress with a welcoming smile comes towards you, inviting you to take a seat in the front room and that someone will come to take your order once you are ready.

You return her smile by thanking her kindly and make your way into the room she indicated.

On the way, you find on the right side a wall covered with pink velvet and a bicycle leaning against it with another big teddy bear on it. You find this corner particularly cute so you take your phone out of your bag to take a photo.

As you open the camera app you hear a familiar voice calling you.

“Hi Y/n!”

You turn in the direction of the voice and find the protagonist of your latest dreams sitting at a table on a pink velvet armchair.

"Oh! Hi Harry!" You return the greeting by smiling at him.

He pulls back a chair as a sign to sit next to him and you gladly accept.

“Shopping day I see,” Harry tells you pointing to the bags you had to bring with you.

"Oh yes!" You laugh. “I was out with Mum but she had to run away to work, so I'm forced to go around with all these bags!”

Harry laughs back. “That's why you're here alone.”

You are about to answer him but are interrupted by a waiter who has come to take your orders.

Once he leaves - not before giving you a sweet smile - you see Harry give the boy a not-so-kind look.

You continue your conversation until within a few minutes your food arrives.

You start eating in silence and you notice that Harry keeps staring at you.

“Do I have something on my face?”

“Mh? What?"

“I see you staring at me, I asked you if I had something on my face.”

“No, no you don't have anything on your face, it's just… I don't know if it's appropriate to ask you something.”

“Ask me what?”

He takes a long sigh. “I was just thinking… if you have a boyfriend”

You stop yourself from laughing at his question. “No, I don't have a boyfriend. Why do you ask?"

“I was just curious to know I guess. It is undeniable that you are a beautiful girl and I also noticed how that boy looked at you before and I was just wondering if you have a boyfriend, that's all."

"Don’t worry. In fact, right now I don't want a boyfriend, I broke up a couple of months ago so I'm thinking more about myself now."

“I'm sorry, I didn't know you broke up recently. Can I ask why if it doesn't bother you?”

“Don't worry, it doesn't bother me. I've been with this Italian guy named Lorenzo for more or less a year and a half, except that in the last period, things between us haven't been going so well. In the last few months, I saw him as more detached, and in the end, I discovered that he had another woman... that’s the reason!" you laugh sarcastically.

“Excuse my language but… he must be a real dickhead to have cheated on you.”

“I'm big now, you can use bad words in my presence, and yes you're right, he's a big dickhead!” You laugh and he follows you.

After finishing your brunch you are the first to get up.

“Thanks for keeping me company, Harry. I really enjoyed talking to you!”

“No, thanks to you Y/n! And I enjoyed talking to you too! It could be done more often!” He tells you smiling, making his dimples appear.

“Yes, I would be more than happy to do it again. Maybe I could mention to Dad to invite you to dinner some evening.”

"I'd really like to."

And so you head towards the exit of the place with him opening the door for you like a true gentleman.

Once outside, however, you remember that you had arrived here in your mother's car and now that she was gone you didn't know how to get home. So your only option - other than walking in the July sun for 40 minutes on foot, which you didn't think was the best option - was to ask Harry for help.

“Um, Harry?” You call him. “Sorry but I just realized that I don't know how to get home since my mother left with the car, and.. uhm I wanted to ask you if by any chance, if it were possible for you, you could take me home.”

You didn't like bothering people about your things, because you always had the impression that you were annoying.

“Of course, I can take you home Y/n! I would never leave you stranded. In fact, I was just asking you if you wanted a ride but you beat me to it."

And with that, you head towards his car. And again, being the gentleman that he is, he opens the door for you to get into the car.

Along the way you are rather silent, in addition to the noise of the radio music in the background, there is every now and then an exchange of words.

Once you arrive at the gate of your house you almost feel sorry to let Harry go, and he seems to think the same as you.

You're about to say bye and thank him when an idea comes to you.

“You know I was thinking about the conversation we had that evening at my house and I just remembered that I have another book that I think you might like… if you want you could come in the house for a moment.”

“Yes, I'd like to come in but I don't want to disturb you."

“Don't worry, there's no one at home. Mom and Dad are at work and my sister is at the beach with some friends.”

“Oh…okay.”

He leaves the car in the driveway and so you go into the house.

As soon as you enter you head towards the bookcase in the living room but looking carefully among the books you don't find what you were looking for.

Going back in your memory you remember leaving it in your room; you had recently finished reading it and you immediately thought Harry might like it.

“Um…I think I left it in my room, if you want you can come with me, I also have other books there and I think you might find something you might like.”

"Yes, of course!"

So you go up the stairs and enter your room, but as soon as you enter you see the chair near your bathroom with your pajamas and underwear on it that you had taken off before entering the shower.

But the thing that immediately catches your eyes are your white lace panties on top of your clothes, and, if you look at them better you can also see a darker part on their crotch which you know well what is due to: the man next to you to you.

While you were both in your room, you felt a strange tension in the air. You look at Harry and notice the way he avoids your gaze as if he's hiding something. You suddenly feel vulnerable, remembering the embarrassing moment when you had accidentally left your panties on the chair. You wonder if he saw it.

“Sorry if the room is a little messy,” you say, trying to break the awkward silence.

He smiled faintly. “Don't worry, you told me that the book you recommended is here somewhere, right?”

Your heart beats faster in your chest as you try to figure out if he's just trying to be nice or if he's trying to avoid the awkward moment.

“Sure, it's right there on the nightstand,” you reply, gesturing to the book with a wave of your hand. “Sorry about the mess.”

He walks over to the nightstand, but in his gaze, he notices your panties casually placed on the chair. He lets out a short sigh, trying not to let his embarrassing discovery show. “Thank you,” he said, taking the book carefully.

The tension in the air seems to increase as they both look into each other's eyes, an energy filled with repressed desire and forbidden curiosity.

You try to ignore the racing of your heart as he walks away from the nightstand with the book in his hands.

“There are some really interesting parts,” you say, trying to keep the conversation light. "I hope you like it."

He nodded with a gentle smile. “I can't wait to read it, thanks for the advice.”

The silence that followed was heavy, full of tension and unspoken meaning. You both knew what was behind that embarrassing moment, but neither seemed ready to face it.

You bit your lower lip, trying to find the courage to say something, anything that would break the overwhelming tension. But the words seemed to get stuck in your throat.

Finally, he turns to face you, his eyes meeting yours with an intensity that makes you tremble slightly.

“Is there anything else you would like to talk about?” He asks you, his voice barely a whisper.

You swallow, feeling your heart beat so loudly it sounds like a drum in his ears. “Yes,” you admit in a small voice. “There is something we need to address.”

You feel your heart beating furiously in your chest as he gently approaches, creating an atmosphere full of anticipation.

“I know,” he whispers softly, his voice a seductive harmony in the air vibrant with desire.

A shiver of emotion runs through your skin as your gazes meet, communicating desires and secrets hidden deep inside.

You nod slightly, unable to articulate a sound, your breath held in anticipation of what was about to happen.

He gets even closer, so close that you can feel the heat of his breath on your skin, but without ever crossing that invisible border that separated reality from enchantment.

An instant of silence full of meaning lasts longer, time seems to have stopped as you let yourself be enveloped by the magic of waiting, aware of how powerful and precious that tension suspended between you can be.

You get dangerously close to the point where you can feel his nose touching yours, the desire between you vibrating in the tense air.

Lips a few millimeters apart, the imminent contact was like a promise of suspended passion, when suddenly the sound of the front door opening resonates in the air, interrupting the intimate moment.

You both tense up instinctively, your heart quickening its pace in your chest as your gazes meet in a mixture of agitation and repressed desire.

“Y/n! I am home!" You hear your father's voice coming from downstairs.

“Fuck,” you say as you pull away from Harry, but the heat of the barely touched contact still burned on his lips, while your body trembled slightly in anticipation of what might happen.

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Supernova (Chapter 7)

Pairing: Dick Grayson as Robin x Reader

Warnings: None! Lmao finally

Word Count: 3.9K

Summary: As the daughter of Wonder Woman, you always knew you were destined for something more than the life of a mortal. It seemed like your wish for a life of adventure came true but whether in the form of a blessing or curse, you didn’t know. All you know is that you were the sole witness for a chain of murders that would begin. It’s up to you to find out who was the murderer before it’s too late……

A/N: It's a sweet chapter ya'll. I promise.

Supernova Masterlist

“You’re sweaty.” Robin murmured when you rested your forehead against the nape of his neck. You both were exhausted after training and you were a shower away from passing out in your bed but you both still needed a few minutes to catch your breath, leaning on each other for support. Even though he was complaining about you sweating, he didn’t seem to do anything to get away from you, even going so far as to wrap an arm around your shoulder.

You felt him swallowing the gulps of water against your skin before scoffing and wiping your skin with a towel, “As if you’re any better, my eyes are stinging from your sweat.”

Then you both dissolved back to silence, quietly enjoying each other’s company as the night slowly bled into day.

“Do you ever wonder what smoking feels like?” You asked and Robin laughed, making you whine when he began shaking, moving your body in tandem with his because of it. Even though you pinched his side to get him to stop laughing, it was useless since it made him laugh even harder, slugging you off his shoulder as your back hit the training mat.

“It wasn’t even that funny.”

“It was random."

“I was just thinking about it. I can hardly breathe when someone else is smoking beside me. I wonder how it feels actually inhaling the stuff.” You wondered, now getting comfortable on your back and he lay down beside you, “I guess some people enjoy it.”

It was silent again and you yawned, waiting for your body to cool off. The unfortunate thing about living at Happy Harbor was that the weather was unusually hot during the summer, so hot that even the water ended up getting to a scorching temperature. If you went for a shower straight after training, you’d be slowly boiled to perfection.

But the more you waited, the sleepier you got.

Robin spared you a glance as you yawned once again, stifling his own. The training had been taking a toll on him, since he would come to the cave right after patrol instead of sleep at the Manor. Partly because he liked seeing you improve in combat and get better each day and partly because he just liked seeing you.

If he caught you on a good day, you were fun to be around, cheerful and funny. Your energies mixed together well, fitting together like two puzzle pieces but he never lingered on that thought for long. For now, Robin just wanted to be supportive and a good friend. He’d seen firsthand how much you could change when things hurt you and he never wanted to push you towards that again.

His mind drifted back to the day in the interrogation room, the way you didn’t have any remorse for Thelma when she cried and screamed in front of you. It was so unlike you and for a few brief moments he wondered if he ever knew you at all.

He looked at you again, noticing the way you were smiling at nothing, the sheen of sweat on your face and neck before rethinking. He knew you; he was sure of that. And he liked you for it too.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Just that prom is next week at school. Before Valerie I would’ve pleaded to go but I don’t think I’d want to return to school after this.” You said thoughtfully, suddenly thinking about what you would do if you made out of all this alive.

“Maybe you should transfer to my school.” He said absentmindedly. It wasn’t really a suggestion that he thought you’d accept but he actually liked the thought of you going to his school.

You sent him a teasing smile, “Oh? Boy Wonder actually goes to school? Not some advanced intelligence nerd program?”

He laughed at this, “You’re one to talk.”

It was silent for the next couple moments once again while you both rested comfortably. This was the thing he appreciated the most about your relationship; when it was silent, he wasn’t scrambling to find some conversation piece to fill the silence. He wasn’t unaccustomed to awkward silence but it never felt awkward when he was with you. It was just silence.

He could stay beside you and just stay silent and that was enough. He liked that.

“What color are your eyes?” You asked again, curious.

“Like I’d tell you.” He sighed, sounding way too comfortable for his own good. You kicked him lighter than you were intending to.

“They’re brown, aren’t they?”

“Why brown?”

“Because I feel like any other color would give you an unfair advantage.”

He settled in further, wanting the training mats to suddenly feel like his mattress back home, “Well I’m no swim team captain but.”

“Jealous?”

“Sure.”

The sweat was making the mats stick to your skin and you felt it aggressively peel from your skin when you turned on your side to face him. Now you were made painfully aware about the cold sweat pooling below you and realized you were in desperate need for a shower.

You rubbed his arm gently, wishing him a good night even though you knew that the sun was up. Robin returned the gesture with a smile, telling you to get a good night’s sleep. As he watched your receding back, a thought came to his mind and he stopped you in your tracks.

“Here’s a thought, why don’t we do something on prom night? Have our own little thing right here? We could watch a movie or something.” He proposed and your brows furrowed, “Don’t you have prom too?”

He did. Which was planned and decorated with the money his father had generously donated. But Dick didn’t feel an ounce of remorse for missing it. He also knew it was the only night that the others wouldn’t be home, all at their own prom. As long as he would get to have a fun night with you.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t planning on going anyway.” Alfred had already pressed his suit and had a special corsage ordered. He was going with Barbara, as friends, but cancelling on her seemed like a small feat in the moment.

“Are you sure?” “Definitely.”

You smiled slightly, nodding before waving goodbye and continuing on your way to the showers. When he heard the door shut, Dick realized just what he had gotten himself to and flopped back onto the mats, ‘What did I just do?’

He’d have to cancel the limo without his dad or Alfred finding out. He’d have to cancel the reservations at the restaurant. For goodness’ sake, he’d have to take a rain check on Barbara. Still, Dick wasn’t able to wipe the smile off his face.

***

You were oddly looking forward to hanging out with Robin tonight. Everyone had already left for their own proms, Zatanna was in a dress that she had borrowed from you. Even though you knew that the prom dress you had been planning to wear would’ve been the best for her school theme, you had a weirdly hard time parting from it, considering it was just a piece of clothing.

All three girls spent a couple hours primping with you, trying their best to include you in some of the fun. You even managed to rope Artemis into getting glammed up. She protested a lot at first but once she got in the chair it was like you had tamed a jungle cat. They had time to style your hair as well and you barely had any idea what was happening while Doja Cat played and you had a sheet mask on. After getting that off, you felt like a new born baby.

You sent all three of them off after taking a ton of pictures and they told you to have a great night too, smiling like they knew something you didn’t.

Now that the cave was completely empty, even Aqualad had left that morning to pay a visit to Atlantis, you were left alone with Robin and were excited about it. You weren’t going to do anything special anyway, other than watching a movie and stuffing your face with food but you were still happy to spend some time with him when you both weren’t sweating like pigs.

Even the thought of sitting beside him on the couch while a movie played had a skip in your step.

Just as you saw the doors to the main hall and a familiar head of hair, you picked up the pace until you stopped walking all together, shocked.

Because there stood Robin waiting by the door with a shy smile on his face. Dressed in a suit and tie.

You chocked out a laugh, not quite sure why it felt like the wind was knocked out of you before walking up to him, gently pulling his fingers away from the tie he was fidgeting with and straightening it out, “A little over-dressed for a movie, don’t you think?”

“Change of plans, we’re going to have our own prom night, right here.”

You giggled, reclipping the tie clip before straightening out the corsage in his breast pocket. You spared a glance up, meeting his eyes and you realized just how close the both of you had gotten. If he didn’t have the sunglasses on, you would’ve been able to see your reflection in his—probably— brown eyes.

You cleared your throat, stepping away from him not before smoothing your hands down the lapels, smiling at just how handsome he looked.

“Wish you would’ve told me. I would’ve matched what I’m wearing to your tie.” You teased.

“Actually, you can.” You raised a brow at this and the red began crawling up his neck, “I asked your mom to drop your dress off. It’s in your room.”

The uncomfortable conversation with Wonder Woman about why he wanted the particular dress that her daughter of the same age was planning to wear to prom was completely worth it when he watched your eyes light up like the sun before throwing your arms around his neck, “Oh my god! I love you!”

The dress fit you like a glove, even though the last time you wore tried it on it had been a teeny bit snug. All those hours training with Robin probably made it fit a little better even though you didn’t look any different. You stood in front of the mirror and couldn’t stop twirling; the dress was just so beautiful and you were over the moon that you got to wear it.

When you met Robin by the door, it felt a little too good to be true, the way he smiled at you just as your eyes met and then held out his arm for you to take. Your heart was sure to stop beating tonight at the rate it was thumping in your chest. You could barely hear him over the sound of it, filled with too much adrenaline and excitement. You could’ve gone for a 100-mile run with the amount of energy you suddenly had.

“You look pretty.”

You grinned and curtsied in an old-fashioned way, tipping an imaginary hat, “Why, thank you. You look pretty dapper yourself.”

He laughed, “Dapper?”

“It’s a word, look it up, tweetie bird.”

“And now all the magic’s dead.”

“Oh? Because I was expecting you to pull out a bouquet from your sleeve there.”

“Actually—” He smiled, pulling out a matching corsage from his suit pocket and holding it out to you, “I went all out.”

He helped you fasten it around your wrist when you struggled to do it with one hand and your breath got caught in your throat. It was awkward, to say the least, the energy between the both of you. In fact, there was so much tension that you felt like you could choke on it. Even though your first response to any kind of distress was to hide underneath the blankets in your bedroom, you still stayed by his side.

“So, what are we waiting for? What movie are we watching?”

It seemed like he finally remembered why he was standing outside the hall in the first place and smiled shyly, a blush faintly painting his cheeks. It felt like he was stalling the more you thought about it, lingering at the door for way too long as if something would explode or jump at you if he put his hand on the handle.

“Actually—”

He opened the door and you gasped, “You need to stop saying ‘Actually’ because every time you do, I get a heart attack.”

How he managed to get all this done in a day was beyond you. The table was filled with snacks and drinks that you knew was meant to be left over for Wally to finish. The TV had a blanket fort in front of it, looking so cozy that you suddenly wanted to take a nap. The holo-computer was projecting something similar to a carnival game, with a couple targets levitating mid-air, labelled with different points.

Your heart fluttered when you realized that Robin had gone through all this just to make sure you’d have a fun night and suddenly your eyes felt alarmingly wet.

“You’re not gonna cry, are you?” Came his incredulous response and you gave him the weakest punch you could possibly muster because you knew any harder could give your date a hairline fracture, “Excuse me. It’s a perfectly healthy emotional response.”

“Yeah, but you cry a lot, have you realized?” He teased, pulling you toward the holo-computer, giving you a simulator stun gun and then picking one up for himself.

“You don’t cry at all, Mr. Roboto,” You cocked the gun and pointed at him playfully, “But no matter, you’ll be crying once I beat you to dust.”

His signature laugh was the next thing you heard and you blushed, embarrassed that you liked it more than you cared to admit, “Let’s just see about that.”

***

“And then she goes—Word for word, I’m not even kidding—” You told, picking up a tennis ball and using it to imitate an apple before pretending to take a bite out of it, “Young lady, eating is simply not allowed on school premises. *crunch* These rules obviously apply to everyone. *crunch* No one is above the rules. *crunch*”

Robin was laughing at your horrible British accent and the way you tried so hard to sound all hoity-toity, had Alfred been here he would’ve been appalled. To be quite honest, you weren’t even sure if the lady was British or not, but it seemed fitting and the way Robin was laughing made you embarrassing yourself a teensy bit worth it.

“Not to mention she’s spewing apple chunks all over me. I can never unsee that image.” You shuddered, shaking your head and his laughs dulled down to chuckles.

“That’s not that bad. Once, our health class teacher was covering contraceptives and such. And he stands in front of the entire class and, with absolutely no hesitation, asks ‘So boys and girls, what are your favorite condom brands?’” You burst into laughter at that hiding your face in your hands as tears began blurring your vision.

“Oh, my goodness, I can’t breathe, stop talking!” You interrupted his story, clutching your stomach and flopping on your back from laughing so hard. He laughed, watching you writhe on the floor, unable to stop the choked chortles that were leaving your lips. Your stomach felt like you had just done an ab workout.

The movie that was playing had long gotten over, the credits frozen on the screen as you both continued to talk, recounting all the hilarious stories you could remember as music played in the background, “Alright, so it’s an all-girls program and all of the girls are chattering about and have their own little groups in the auditorium. And my principal goes, ‘Why are you all standing so close? You all are straight girls, are you not?’”

“Not as bad as a girl volunteering to sing during a school assembly before serenading me in front of the entire school. Even though we’ve never actually talked.” He blushed, remembering just how embarrassing the situation was. You threw your head back, missing the moment Robin took to admire you.

“You little Casanova. Are you really complaining about being a heartthrob?” You teased, nudging him playfully and he rolled his eyes though it was hidden by his glasses.

Eventually the stories and laughter begin to die down as your ears tune into the music playing in the background. Just as a fun, rap song that you weren’t paying attention to but were sure had something to do with sex ended, you heard the familiar tune flow through the speakers and smiled as the singers’ voices filled your ears.

“Ahh, I love this song.” You smiled, listening to the first verse. It was a pretty love song that always got you singing when you heard it playing in the car. It was the song you listened to on repeat when you read a romance book to give you the right feels. Closing your eyes, you recalled the last book you read to the music, smiling as the feeling of giddiness began to flow through you.

“Care to join me for a dance?”

When you opened your eyes, Robin was holding a hand out for you, a gentle and reassuring smile on his face and you didn’t hesitate before taking his hand. If he had asked at the start of the night, you probably would’ve blushed and felt nervous just by holding his hand but after spending a couple hours together, you were finally in tune with each other.

You didn’t mind resting your hands on his shoulders as his floated around your waist before you began swaying to the rhythm. You had spent the whole day together, more or less in the same way; resting against each other while watching the movie, holding his hand when he attempted to throw a ball with your lacrosse stick and failing before you stepped behind him to show him how it was done and finally feeding each other food as you attempted to play the guess different foods while blindfolded.

You giggled at the way Robin squirmed when the petals of your corsage tickled his neck, still swaying out of beat to the song but it didn’t really matter, you were just trying hard not to trip over the slight train of the dress or on his feet.

“It’s occurring to me that I haven’t actually thanked you for all of this.” You began, eyes darting around the place as you took in just how much he had done for you today and your heart swelled in your chest, smiling softly without even realizing it. His fingers tightened their grip on your waist slightly and the light blush crawling on his cheeks was the only indication that he was feeling slightly embarrassed.

You looked him back in the eye, well at your reflection in his sunglasses, “I’m really touched, Rob. No one’s ever done anything like this for me and I really don’t know what to say to make you understand just how much this means to me. Thank you.”

Thank you didn’t even begin to express how much you felt for him at this point, dancing with you in bare feet across the hall. A night you had been dreading for a while, a night you thought would be spent all alone was made one of the best ones since you opened your eyes on the planet just because of him. You couldn’t tell him how grateful you were for that.

He felt embarrassed that you were putting him on the spot this way. You had said so much and a simple ‘You’re welcome’ didn’t seem right to say. It felt awkward and distant and off-putting, how would you continue the conversation after he so rudely shut you down without any other way to continue?

His hands were slightly sweating against your dress and if you noticed the increase of warmth from his palms, you didn’t say anything. So, he said the only thing he could to sort of fill the silence, “It was nothing, really. You really don’t have to thank me; I didn’t do much. Besides, I hardly think any of this could compare to your real pro—”

He was cut of by your hands slowly sliding to delicately cup his cheeks before slanting your lips over his in your first kiss. He inhaled sharply against your lips, fingertips digging into your waist. The kiss itself wasn’t much, just a silky brush of your lips against his without any pressure before you pulled back and gave him an endearing smile, “Thank you.”

He returned it, pulling you a teensy bit closer so he could hold you against him but still far enough so you couldn’t feel his heartbeat thrumming against his ribcage.

***

Not even twenty minutes after the two of you had parted with whispered goodnights, you climbed up the stairs to Robin’s nest, with your makeup freshly washed off and dressed in comfy pajamas. You saw the tip of Robin’s head peek out from the beanbag and smiled. Your heart was slowly sinking to your stomach with the thought of talking to him.

“Hey.”

He turned around, seemingly surprised to see you which he never seemed before. Usually, he could hear you from a mile away. The tie around his neck was loosened, the top button undone and his suit jacket lay wrinkled beside him, though he was still wearing his glasses.

Nonetheless, he gave you a gentle smile, scooting over a little so you could plop beside him on the beanbag, “Missed me already?”

“Yeah.” The honesty in your voice caught him off-guard and he found himself blushing and avoiding your eyes as he waited for you to speak again and tell him why you came up here. Of course, his heart leaped at the thought that you were up here just to see him, even though you spent the whole night together.

“Listen about earlier,” He turned his head to you but this time it was you who wouldn’t look at him, playing with your fingers in your lap, “About the kiss; I’m sorry.”

He could hardly hear anything other than his heartbeat when he heard the tone in your voice and he knew that something bad was going to come. Were you going to tell him that it was a mistake and that you regret it? He wouldn’t hold it against you but his heart tore at even the thought.

“I shouldn’t have done it without asking for permission first, I’m sorry. I was just reliving it and I realized that I never actually asked if I could, you know? It’s just I really like you and got caught up in nerves and emotions and all—” Somehow you managed to catch yourself rambling and stopped, taking a deep breath, “Anyway, if it made you uncomfortable, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

You glanced back up at him with a shy smile, “Are you gonna say something or, do you want me to leave….”

If it was possible, you looked even more beautiful barefaced and hair pulled back from your face than you did in the most beautiful dress he had ever seen you in before.

“Could I kiss you? Please?”

Your breath got caught in your throat and you found yourself leaning in before you could even think of saying anything.

Who were you to say no?

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[blessednereid]

August

WC: <4100

Mentions: Sexual innuendos, cursing, slut-shaming, Affairs/Adultery, Lying, Deceit

A/N: It’s an AU, basically where James and Lily don’t end up together, and the War ends before they graduate. Snape and Peter don’t become death eaters IG but that doesn’t really matter later on. Unedited, but it’s the last day of August so I gotta get it in NOW.

Pairings: James Potter x Reader, James Potter x Lily Evans, (future) Lily Evans x Reader

~~~

Y/N

*

Salt air

*

You and your boyfriend of two months are sitting on the shoreline of the shared beach near your houses. You’ve lived in the same neighbourhood for as long as you can remember, but never really noticed each other until your formative years. And the chemistry was undeniable, which is what led you to that precise moment.

“Hey, James… What do you think is going to happen when we go away for school?” you ask meekly.

Being a Beauxbaton student is as luxurious as it sounds. You never have to put up with brutish and grotesque boys in pissing contests, and while there may be catty classmates, there’s no fighting over boys. No heartbreak. No major drama.

That being said, that didn’t mean that none of you had boyfriends. You all had your fair share of suitors from Durmstrang or Hogwarts or some other school in the country. And yours was James Potter.

He is the epitome of a perfect boyfriend. He remembers small dates, like the exact day your cat died, and knows exactly what you need.

You don’t think you’ve loved anyone as much as you’ve loved him.

And that’s precisely why you’re so afraid to lose him.

You knew that the long distance between you would be difficult. What started as a summer fling quickly became something more, and James changed from a friend who could make you laugh your guts out to the boy that makes your heart sing.

He has his arms wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, and you know exactly what he’s thinking. The distance isn’t going to change my love for you.

But he doesn’t realize that it’ll change the amount he can express. And that’s going to be frustrating. You’ve only been together for a little while. So how would this even work?

“We just have to trust each other, darling. I love you, and you love me. That’s all that matters.”

“But James-”

“No buts,” he states stoically. “Nothing is going to change this. You just need to trust me, trust that this is going to work.”

James

*

And the rust on your door

*

He had told you exactly what he meant. That he loved you, and that you could trust him. He knew that he loved you, and that love had taken root in the deepest part of his heart. So when he opened the door to Sirius, Remus, and Peter’s room, since he would not be staying here this year, he not only felt excitement for the new year but sheer happiness at the fact that he had found someone who loved him as unconditionally as he loved her. He did feel some remorse that he wouldn’t be staying with his gaggle of mates though.

“Mate, what’s that grin on your face for? Haven’t gotten in any trouble without us, have you?”

Apparently, James’ inner monologue reflected on his face because all his friends were made aware of the grin on his face.

“No, I just…”

He’d managed to keep the relationship a secret from Sirius that summer because you didn’t want the already confusing relationship to be found out by the Wizarding World. For reporters to make it more convoluted and twisted than it actually was.

“I’m just glad to be back,” he says, deciding he needs to discuss with you if he could tell his friends about your relationship just yet.

*

I never needed anything more

*

When he saw Lily in classes the next day, a pang swam through his chest. He didn’t see her yesterday on the train. He wasn’t focusing on that. But now he was. He noticed that her red hair had been cut short to her shoulders and that she appeared much more confident. Her school blouse had the first two buttons popped, showing just the slightest bit of rosy cleavage.

No.

He had promised you that you could trust him, and you could. He knew you could. He was going to be the man that you deserved. Lily was in the past. Lily was a speed bump on his path to finding true love with you.

But why did the way he felt about Lily now feel as strongly as it did before?

And it didn’t help any when she waltzed up to his desk and straightened her arms right in front of his face, pushing out her chest, and making his lust and sexual drive soar. He was sure it was evident. That he’d broken out in a sweat, but he attempted to play it off as cool as an Autumn day.

“Hello James,” she greeted. “How was your summer?”

He gulped. In front of his eyes was a woman, the woman that he had wanted so desperately. He didn’t know her intentions, but he knew his thoughts. And if you could see his thoughts, could hear them… he knew you wouldn’t be pleased. He knew you’d realize that you’d been right in not trusting him. “Summer was fine, Lily-flower. And you? Hang around with Snivelly, any?”

“No, we haven’t talked since the end of last year. But I’m thinking that this is more room for opportunity, to make new friends, see the light, you know?” she grinned and it lit up his heart.

“So, I was talking to Remus, and he told me that I should give you a chance to be one of those new friends,” but the way she said friends implied something more. “And at first, I objected, and then I realized, I never really gave you much light in my eyes. Do you think you could change that, Jamesie?”

And fuck, if that didn’t make his heart race a little.

Lily

*

Whispers of "Are you sure?"

*

Lily and James were kissing passionately and furiously as they stumbled into her bedroom. Since becoming head girl, she had gotten her own dorm room. James had also gotten one, but Lily didn’t want to see how messy that room was.

She moved her hands from in between their two bodies and picked up her wand to cast several different nonverbal charms.

When she was done, she pushed James down onto the bed and began tearing off her clothes. And then his. When she was done and they were lying beside each other he muttered a final “are you sure?” to her, and she nodded. He kissed her with ferocious passion until the kiss became something more.

This happened again, again, again.

*

"Never have I ever before"

*

When James left Lily’s room for the fourth time that month, she pressed two fingers to her lips in reaction to his goodbye kiss.

“I’ve never felt this way about James. About anyone,” she thought.

He made her feel alive, he made her grin, he made her giggle, and he made her heart flutter when he was around her. Of course, she knew this when she approached him. She just didn’t think it would escalate to this level so soon.

She wants to shout to the world the way she feels about him, the way he makes her feel. How he can take her breath away and make her feel like the most important and most special girl on the planet.

Like she was made just and entirely for him, and that the same applied for him to her.

She couldn’t stop her wild dreams, the ones of vivid love and passion, the ones where he would kiss her, take her hand, and profess his love in grand displays. Where he’d fight for her and never leave her.

Fantasy and delusion never left her mind when it came to him.

*

Your back beneath the sun

*

He and she both lie underneath the sun, soaking up its rays, sharing its warmth, staring at the clouds trying to make out certain shapes.

It was a sunny December day, which was rare, so they were getting as much out of it as they could.

“James, we should study,” she lightly approached the devastating topic. “It’s not like I really want to, but what kind of example are we setting as head boy and girl?”

“Well, If we go back up to our dorms, nobody will know if we’re studying or doing something else,” he said with a wriggle of eyebrows.

“No, James!” she laughs, and he joins her. His pearly teeth both ensnaring her mind and rendering her unable to focus on anything but him.

“When’s the next Hogsmeade trip?” he asked casually while he laid back down with his head facing the sky.

“Most likely before the holidays.”

She saw his face contort when she mentioned the Christmas break.

“James, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, I’m just thinking about… the war.” His face was pale, and his face sour.

“I’m thinking of joining the order after I graduate, but it’s still scary, you know. I’m worried about my mum and dad.”

“Your parents are going to be fine, James,” she assured him, but she knew he would be fully relieved until the war was over and all death eaters were locked up.

*

Wishin' I could write my name on it

*

She was sitting with Remus in the library when he brought up James. Let the record show that he brought up James, not her.

“So, how is everything going with James?”

She sighed lightly. “It’s magic, Remus. Pun intended.”

He chuckled. “I’m glad you feel that way, Lily. Really, he’s a good guy once you get past that facade he puts on. I knew you’d like him.”

“Yes,” she says faintly. Doubts flood her head about his own feelings.

“What’s wrong, Lily?”

Her eyes turn down to her paper before reaching up again to meet his. “It’s silly, but… sometimes I wonder if he truly feels the same. I mean, most people don’t harbour feelings for one person for this long. What if all along it was just lust, and he’ll cast me away now that he’s satisfied that urge.”

“Lily, I promise you, James has had eyes for no one but you for many years. I highly doubt that it was lust, James isn’t like that.”

“You know,” she smiled. “You’re right. I just wish this didn’t have to be kept so hush-hush. The amount of girls I see fawning over him is grotesque.”

“So then ask him,” he pushed.

She took that as a challenge. “Alright. I will!”

*

The next time Lily saw James, they immediately rolled into bed and did what lovers do. But after that is when she posed the question.

“James, would we- will we ever be able to make this public?” she asked in a stern voice.

She saw thoughts swimming in his head for a moment.

“Lily,” he rolled onto his side. “We- I… This needs to be a secret for now. I mean, we are waist-deep into this war, and with my plans to go into the order, I can’t risk anyone coming after you.”

His logic made sense to her, and the wizarding world would get too caught up with the son of a prestigious wizard family being with a muggle-born in the middle of all of this.

He was right, she just had to swallow her jealousy for now.

*

Will you call when you’re back at school

*

The next week, there was a Hogsmeade trip, and despite them staying near the Marauders, really, it was a date for James and Lily. Or at least that’s what it felt like. An unofficial date.

They bought each other gifts to open over the holidays, kissed discreetly under mistletoes, and held hands while walking through the village.

When they went to get butterbeer for the rest of the group, there was a long but comfortable silence for a while.

“So what are you doing for the holidays?”

“Just going back home, maybe making some treats with my mum,” he said casually. “What about you?”

“Same as you, I guess. I’ll miss you, though.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

She tapped her foot absentmindedly as they waited. “What if I came with you?”

“What?” Panic flooded his face. “No, you couldn’t come with me, I’m afraid. My house is an Order safe place. If a death eater found it, you could be in danger.”

“You’re in danger just being there.”

“And you’re in danger by just breathing, Lily! That would be a double danger. I’m not risking that.”

She cringed at her sudden need to be close to him. “Right, sorry. It was a silly idea. A mindless thought.”

His face softened when he saw her embarrassment. “I’d love to bring you home, Lily, but it’s not safe.” But by now she could tell that he was lying, there was something more.

*

I remember thinkin' I had you

*

On the train back from London going to Hogwarts, Lily sat with Marlene and Dorcas, she hadn't seen them quite as much as she would’ve wanted since the school year started, and now was the perfect opportunity.

Lily felt remorse and guilt for not telling her friends about such a crucial part of her life, her relationship with James Potter, and truly she wanted to, but what if they judged her? And Marlene has had a reputation for having a loudmouth. What if she said something and word got out?

They conversed in idle gossip before an interesting topic was brought up. One that left Lily infuriated, and ready to murder a smug bastard.

“Have you heard about Potter and that Beauxbaton girl?”

Her eyes raised in curiosity and scorn. “What Beauxbaton girl?”

Dorcas revealed as much as she knew about you to Lily, your name, family, status in the Wizarding World. By the time she was done, Lily was struck with disbelief.

“And you’re sure they were kissing?” she said in response to Marlene’s information about the article in the Daily Prophet with a picture of them kissing.

“Yes!” she exclaimed.

“I have the article right here,” Dorcas mentioned.

“Way to bury the lead.”

“Oh shush,” she said and handed Lily the newspaper out of her bag.

She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The man she had been with for the past four months was kissing another woman. With Tongue.

“Well, that’s fantastic for him,” she said sourly. “He must feel so proud to have gotten a pretty girlfriend after pining after me for so long. I wonder how long it’ll be before he tries pining after me again,”

“Who knows, maybe it is serious,” Dorcas proposed.

Lily growled. “I don’t think it’s that serious if he’s sleeping with another woman.”

Marlene’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean-”

“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” she said before exiting the cabin of the train and heading to find James Potter.

“So,” she said when she reached his compartment. “How long have you been seeing her?”

James looked shocked to see her. “Lily, I can explain.”

“Can you? Please explain then. Is this why I couldn’t come with you? Why you had to keep us a secret James? For Godric’s sake, how long have you been seeing her?”

He gulped. “Since the summer.” Even Sirius looked shocked.

“I lived in your house, and you didn’t tell me, mate?”

“Not the time,” Peter chastised.

“Are you serious James? You spouted all of that you love me bullshit when you were with someone else?” Her eyes radiated anger. It was like staring into the mouth of an actively-fire-breathing dragon. “Does she know about me?”

“No, she doesn’t,” he admitted.

Lily said one more sentence before stalking away. “Well, you better tell her, or I will.”

*

But I can see us lost in the memory

*

Lily had no intention of telling you anything. She didn’t even know you. How would she send an owl to a total stranger and tell them that their boyfriend has been cheating on them with herself?

Lily never set out to be a homewrecker. But she didn’t even know she was wrecking a home, to begin with.

This was James’ fault, and he was going to own up to it.

Besides, It deserved to come from him. Lily knew how she felt about being told that she was the other woman from some outside source, and she didn’t want to do that to anyone at all.

But not even the sting of betrayal could mask the ever-flowing sadness that emanated from Lily. She truly believed he was in love. And maybe he was. Just not with her. And that was okay, but she didn’t deserve what she was put through.

Still, that doesn’t stop the fact that she, herself, was in love with him, and how is she supposed to ever get over that betrayal.

*

August slipped away into a moment in time- 'Cause it was never mine

*

Within the next few months, Lily had fallen into a rut. Her grades began slipping, her mood and cheeriness faltered. Even though the Wizarding World War had recently been won, with death-eaters being locked away, that didn’t change her mood, because she wasn’t in the mood to celebrate, to begin with. Her friends noticed her down-in-the-dumps aura, and despite knowing the cause, and how it wasn’t their fault, they couldn’t help but want to help her, to fix her.

But no one could repair the damage that James Potter caused to Lily but Lily herself. And that started with making amends.

“I have to send a follow-up letter to that girl. So I’ll ask you. Have you told her yet?” She cornered James in the library because, despite Head Boy and Head Girl duties, they didn’t see each other much. After all, he was avoiding her as much as she was avoiding him.

He gulped, “I haven’t. Lily, I can’t tell her. It would kill her, she was so worried about the distance and when she saw me at Christmas break, she was so happy. I don’t want to ruin that.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you started an affair with me, James. An affair I didn’t agree to. I didn’t want to be anybody's mistress. And she deserves to know, and I am going to send her a letter. Today! So if you don’t tell her, she will find out from me. I’ve given you months.”

“Lily, don’t do this. Please. I can’t tell her over an owl. It has to be in person.”

She faltered. He was right. His heart may have been in the wrong place, but his head is in the right one. Doing that, telling you over an owl could have devastating consequences. It was a discussion that had to be had in person.

“Easter Break. That is your chance, James Potter. After that, If you don’t I will.”

She turned on her heel and was about to leave the library when he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

“Lily, you have to understand, I never meant to hurt you,” he said. “I have fancied you for so long, and when you finally reciprocated this year, I didn’t want to pass up that chance. I was wrong. You are so amazing, and I shouldn’t have done what I did, but please believe this. You deserve so much, and I couldn’t and could never give that to you, but when I did this, I never meant to hurt anyone. I didn’t think it would go this far.”

She scoffed. “Well, it did, James. You hurt me. You betrayed me, and you betrayed her. Neither of us deserved that, no matter what.”

*

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

*

Guilt twisted in her stomach every time she thought of you. Jealousy was surely a stage at first, everything about you had her enchanted, your hair, your eyes, your glowing skin. She was enthralled, and she could see why James was too.

And then she remembered his nights in her dorm, on her bed. Tossing and turning with her, his lips on her mouth, and she didn’t feel envy. She felt regret and culpability. If she had pressed James harder about whether his feelings really were the same as before, if he’d really wanted to do this, maybe he wouldn’t have done it.

And then she wouldn’t be in this position, and you wouldn’t be about to come crash-landing on impact with this heavy, and taboo truth.

But this wasn’t about her, Lily realized. This was about you. And how you were going to feel once James told you what happened when the train meets the station, and that is all Lily can think of as she sits on her bed, staring out of her window. When her owl knocks on the window to deliver her mail, the headline of the Daily Prophet is what catches her eye. “The Prodigal son in an affair with a Muggleborn witch!” It goes on and on about how a secret inside source heard an argument between the two of them in the Hogwarts library.

There is no doubt that you have seen this, and James didn’t get to tell you. Lily didn’t get to apologize to you. This just got a whole lot worse, and Lily didn’t know how she was going to deal with the sudden turn of events.

James is the villain here, she reminded herself. James is in the wrong, but she knew that she was still an unwitting accomplice. And her gut wrenched as she pondered on that very true fact.

*

August slipped away like a bottle of wine

*

Lily had to get away from the wizarding world, so although she didn’t plan on going home for the Easter holiday, she had to now.

She was being shamed for her insidious relationship with James, by certain people, mostly Snape and his friends, that bastard. Most everyone was supportive, they realized she had no idea about your relationship, but she was still worried about what you’d say to James, but more about what’d you’d say about her.

Had James told you that she didn’t know? That he lied to both of you. Would you be mad at her either way?

Shame pulsed through her body, and she couldn’t imagine what her mother would say when she told her if she ever did.

Though when she got home, her mother instantly noticed that something was wrong.

Knowing she couldn’t take her mothers knowing stares and hard gaze, she instantly confessed to everything that happened over the semester. Her mother didn’t judge her for having premarital sex as Lily thought she would, but rather comforted her daughter and reassured her. “If James is a half-decent person, he will tell her that you did nothing wrong, and she won’t be mad at you, Lily dear.”

Her mother's reassurance helped, but her rose bush of worry wouldn’t be clear of its thorns until she spoke with you.

*

'Cause you were never mine

*

When the break was over, and Lily was about to board the train station to the red engine that is the Hogwarts Express, someone was waiting for her at the door to the train.

“My train doesn’t arrive until later,” you say plainly. “I wanted to get here earlier though, to speak with you.”

Lily feels like she’s breaking out in hives under your eyes, and it’s not a good feeling.

“James told me about how you didn’t know about me, how you wanted him to tell me sooner, didn’t want me to find out from tabloids like you did.” You smiled at her.

“It really hurt me when I found out. I didn’t want you to feel that way, but you still deserved to know. I’m just sorry you found out like that anyway.”

“James already boarded the train, but I wanted to let you know we’re no longer together if you still wanted to be with him,” you said meekly.

Lily’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. “Godric, no! He’s a git.”

You laughed.

“I know we may not be able to be friends, but maybe it’ll be better if we work through all of this together, all three of us,” Lily proposed.

“Yes, individually, dually, all together, doesn’t matter, it needs to be resolved.”

Lily sighed a breath of relief. “Somehow, I feel lighter.”

“Me too.”

As Lily was about to board the train, you called out to her. “Lily!”

She whipped her head to face you. “We can be friends if you’d like, you know.”

That made Lily smile, and honestly, it made her heart bloom with a vague, but familiar feeling.

[mandoalorian]

Handy-Man

An AU in which Din Djarin advertises himself on Craigslist as a man who can assemble your IKEA furniture for 50 bucks.

credit for idea goes to @fleetwoodmactshirt and their post which you can read here; thank you to @clown-bae-anon for tagging me in the post!! 💓

Please please reblog!

You wanted to cry.

Moving out of your childhood home was meant to be your way of asserting your independence and proving to your parents that you could make it on your own. But, as you sat in front of the collapsed television unit, surrounded by an abundance of miscellaneous screws, with broken and bleeding fingernails, you found yourself wondering if you had made a severe lapse of judgement.

Better yet, they were coming over for dinner today— and you knew your dad would give you a mouthful if he saw you hadn’t finished assembling your furniture already. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Unfortunately, you were brand new to the neighbourhood and hadn’t yet made any friends. You had no one to rely on; no one to ask for a favour. You pondered for a few moments, trying to figure out where you could find a handy man willing to work such short notice. You had no other choice than to turn to Craigslist.

There were a few potential candidates. Boba Fett; but he couldn’t be there until Tuesday. Fennec Shand; but she was extremely pricey. Then, at the very bottom of the website, you noticed a small advertisement. Only a few words.

“Din Djarin: I will assemble your IKEA furniture for 50 bucks. Will take me no more than an hour. I will bring my kid. Call me.”

And underneath, he left his number. You guessed that was the catch: that he would bring his child while he worked. You didn’t mind too terribly, besides, you were out of other options. You just hoped it wouldn’t be a sticky iPad kid who was going to snoop around your stuff and make a mess.

Grabbing your phone, you dialled his number. He answered on the first few rings, but said nothing.

“Uhm, hi,” you greeted, scratching the back of your neck as you tried to figure out how to approach the handy man. You’d never hired anyone from Craigslist before. “I have this huge TV unit from IKEA and I need it assembled before 5pm today. Would you be able to—“

“Address?” he asked, giving you the first taste of his velvety voice. After giving him your address, you were about to ask him about the child, but he cut you off. “I’ll be over in ten minutes.” Then he hung up.

He was abrupt, to say the least. You stood there, phone in hand, reflecting on your short witted conversation you’d had with the handyman. Maybe he just wasn’t sociable? It was okay though, he’d be coming over to work, not chat. You just needed him to assemble the television stand before your parents came over.

And if he was true to his advertisement, he’d get it done in no time.

Din Djarin arrived on your doorstep after seven minutes, carrying his son close to his chest. When you heard your doorbell ring out, you smoothed out your outfit, fixed your hair, and checked your appearance on the mirror hanging in the entrance-way. After all, this would technically be the first person you met in your brand new neighbourhood. And first impressions mattered.

As you swung open the front door, you announced, with a beaming smile crossing your lips, “Thank you so much for com—“

You were awe-struck. He was… breathtaking. Not like the handymen back home. He stood there, blinking his chocolate brown eyes, and nursing a child who must have been no older than two years. His hair was only a few shades darker than his eyes, short and curly, and he had a light graze of stubble donning his jaw and upper lip.

You found your gaze quickly flicking to his hands, only to check for a wedding ring. You hated how that was your first instinct but you felt a hitch in your throat when you saw just how large and thick his fingers were.

Your wild thoughts were interrupted when he cleared his throat awkwardly, and you wanted to curse at yourself how long you’d been standing there, blatantly checking him out. Your grip on the door tightened as you felt a flush of heat cross your cheeks, and you offered the handyman a weak smile.

“S— am sorry, I— hi,” you extended your arm and shook his hand. “I’m new. I mean I’m Y/N. But I’m new too. I uh—“

“I’m Din,” he introduced, cutting your flustered response short. “This is Grogu.”

His child cooed slightly and you were in awe over just how big the little one’s eyes were. You smiled and closed in on the child, offering him a small wave.

“Hi baby,” you cooed back, completely enamoured with him. Now that you were more aware of how you were acting around the handyman, you turned to focus your attention more on him. “Uh, please come in. And make yourself comfortable,” you offered, opening the front door wider and ushering both the man and his son inside. “Can I get you anything? A drink?”

“No thanks.” Din replied, setting down his toolbox and then the child.

“Grogu, are you hungry?” you asked, kneeling down to the little child. He slurped and eagerly nodded his head, causing Din to roll his eyes.

“He just had soup before we left,” Din told you.

“Kids always have big appetites,” you laughed, and finally, your comment had caused Din to break a smile. Albeit it was a small one, you still adored the way the corners of his eyes crinkled with delight.

“You have kids?” Din asked curiously, briefly glancing around your living room in search for any signs of children; but he couldn’t find any toys or printed comfort blankies laying around.

Somehow, you got the idea that he didn’t get around much (other than for work, at least). You got the idea that maybe he didn’t have many friends.

“No, but uh— I come from a big family and I used to have a babysitting job when I was a teenager. Feels like I’ve been around kids my whole life,” you admitted, wondering if you’d offered the handyman a little too much personal information. You quickly made the decision to change the subject, grabbing Grogu’s tiny hand. “Come with me Grogu, let’s see what I have in the fridge.”

Grogu selected some dinosaur shaped crackers and a juice box, sipping on it merrily as he toddled back into the living room where his father was working. You silently leaned by the door frame, admiring Din as he constructed the television stand. You’d only been gone five minutes and he’d already made so much progress.

Unable to escape the feeling, you just couldn’t ignore the flurry of butterflies that were ecstatically circling around in the pit of your stomach. You couldn’t tear your gaze from the attractive handyman who was fixing up your IKEA television stand for only 50 bucks. All of this seemed too good to be true.

He could be a serial killer and you wouldn’t even know. But as you watched his bicep flex underneath his light grey sweatshirt, you considered the many ways he might kill you; and for a split second, you knew that if he decided to turn around and choke you with his strong hands, you wouldn’t be mad at all.

“You want kids one day?” he quizzed suddenly, the question causing you to jump slightly. You were so quiet, you had kind of hoped he hadn’t noticed you were just standing there, watching him work.

“Uhm, maybe. I don’t know yet,” you said, glancing down at Grogu who was just patiently sitting down on your sofa, munching at his cookies. He was so well behaved. Din must’ve been a really good dad. “Did you want kids before you had Grogu?”

You winced after asking the question, hating the way the words had left your lips. It sounded wrong; like you were asking your handyman if his son was planned or not. But thankfully, Din only laughed.

“Kind of a weird story,” He said as he tightened a screw using nothing but the strength in his left arm. “I found Grogu. Or more like, he found me.”

You pressed your lips together as you wondered what exactly that was supposed to mean.

You and Din exchanged more small talk, and you both found yourselves learning more and more menial facts about one another.

You: What’s your favourite colour?

Din: Brown. Like dirt.

You: Cats or dogs?

Din: Fish.

You: Fish?

Din: They’re nice to look at.

Despite the random quick-fire questions you both asked each other, it didn’t stop you from yearning to know more about the mysterious handyman who took his kid with him everywhere.

Din finished the job early. He always did. But he pottered around with the finished television stand simply because he just didn’t want to leave yet. He was enjoying your company so much, and you were so endearing and easy to talk to. Not to mention, you were brilliant with Grogu.

Eventually though, he stood up and dipped his hands into his jean pockets. “Uh, I’m finished. Does it look okay? I hammered the shelving unit into the wall so it looks neater. It’s more stable that way, too.”

You smiled, impressed with Din’s skillful labour. “It’s perfect,” you admired. “You’re my hero. Really.”

That tugged on Din’s heart strings. Your hero. His cheeks flushed pink and he prayed that you didn’t notice his warm blush. You reached into your purse and paid the handyman.

“Thanks again.” you said with gratitude as you saw Din and Grogu to the door. You passed Grogu some more dinosaur crackers for the journey home and he took them from you eagerly.

Din wanted to get your number so badly. In the short time you’d spent together, you had completely bewitched him, and he didn’t want this to be the last time he saw you. You had his number but… the chances that you’d call him again were slim. Unless—

“If you ever get more furniture, give me a ring,” Din offered awkwardly, shying away from the idea of asking for your number outright.

“I will Din, I promise.”

Din nodded and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “Okay. Thanks. Um— bye then.”

“I’ll see you around Din.”

See you around. The words rang in the back of Din’s mind as he drove home as he processed your open-ended goodbye. He really did hope that he’d see you again.

———————

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl20 @phoenixhalliwell @xoxo-callie @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @girl-obsessed-with-things @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja200 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @rye-flower @theamuz @persie33 @sleepylunarwolf @martellthemandalor @pedro-pastel @steeevienicks @rrtxcmt @saphic-susperia @readsalot73 @softmedics @jade10077 @dodgerandevans @planetariumx @pascals-cat @ajeff855 @spideysimpossiblegirl @smoldjarin @thewayofthemandalorian

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.  

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances.  (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good”  Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure  triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t  have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased,  then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right?  If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with  this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

[knivxsanddespair]

Im still here thinking of the delicious angst @lettheladylead made with Scrooge and Goldie over their kid and Dickie so I said; Screw it let's write something.

----------------

"Well arouse me curiosity, I wonder what's this for?" His right eyebrow arched with the letter still in his right hand. He could have swore his nephews and niece are pretty busy with their lives to be sending him any well wishes. So that was already out of the question.

"Hmm..no use pondering anyways. I didn't become a billionaire thinking long and hard about useless thoughts anyways." He ripped the top open, threw the envolope into a bin and started reading. "Dear-"

Dear Scrooge

By the time you have read this, I would have been out of visiting distances and somewhere that I can collect my thoughts. I don't know why I wasted almost five notebooks worth of paper just trying to handwrite this to you but it's time I exorcised some of the demons that are haunting me.

I'm sorry, about all that had happen between us from the time our child had graced her presense this earth till the time Dickie learnt the truth about both of us. Things aren't as easy back home when you didn't believe me when I said the kid is ours, and I guess you have every right to not listen to me after all that crap I pulled on you. Between the nausea, and that weird as hell food cravings..I can say motherhood was a different feeling altogether, you know? Hey, they don't call it labour for nothing.

Scrooge took a deep breath. "Aye, I know..single motherhood is hard. Don't rub it in."

You should have seen the determination on the little scamp, champ. She had that fiery determination I know no one else could have inherited it from but you. It makes an old coot like me a very proud parent. She did pretty good on the things she set her sights on, and took a keen interest in theatre. Only thing is she scares people sometimes with a dragon-like temper when she's mad, and god help anyone when she screams. I blame both of that on you, you loud mouth.

He was trying so hard not to roll his eyes way into the back of his skull when he stopped at that paragraph. "Of course, daddy's the bad guy."

I dread the day she started asking about you. No, not in that way. I don't want her to think ill of you but I know you had enough problems as it is. So momentarily I filled her tiny head of the grandest true stories of your adventuring days, keeping her distracted with the aura of her totally awesome dad. She was so starstruck that she told me she can't wait for you to come home and tell you how much she loves her papa. She seemed to be preoccupied in her later years and eventually getting landed on an acting job she so desperately wanted. I thought that would be the end of it and she'd forget.

But it didn't, and she did not.

I swear on my soul, I didn't want that day to happen. Time after time she begged and pleaded, asking me again and again to spill out the truth. Her faith in you was broken when I let the cat out of the bag. I sprained my ankle chasing after her, and kept on her tail..but she finally did it.

She found you. With tears of bitterness and sorrow, not one trace or intention of forgiveness for the storm of curses she reigned upon you. You felt your heart sank that very day on a rainy november. You marked the day very well on your head, while reflecting that same hateful aura back at me before heading back to the mansion.

"16th..16th november."

She never returned back to Duckburg, or my house. Contact was few, on the phone if I'm lucky. As time passed on, she herself became a mother and introduced to me Dickie. She had a simple condition; Dickie is not allowed to be anywhere near the mansion, and your name shouldn't be anywhere around her ears. I tried, sourdough, but she's not the negotiating type.

And I guess I failed her again. Our granddaughter eventually found out for herself and here we are again. Stuck at the same situation we got in when we first had our bundle of joy. I can't blame you for this as I said. I don't even know anymore how to correct my wrongs and I'm still away from my family, like the coward I know I am.

If it's no bother to you, I just wanna ask you for a final favor. I want to meet you alone, in that old cabin we once had the first of many quarrels at. I just want to talk to you again after I'm done picking the pieces up. I want to make this work again and hopefully..if it can be mended again, I want to make US work again, in any way we can. I missed you, and I love you.

Sincerely,

An old fool, but forever yours. Goldie O'Gilt.

He dropped the letter as it finished. Looking at the sad reflection on the window, it quickly turned to a scowl with tears rolling down. "You old fool. Why must you be such a stupid, stubborn bastard?"

[angrylizardjacket]

guardian as a title {Machine Gun Kelly}

Summary: Casie's not technically your kid, but as you think about your future with Colson, maybe that won't always be the case.

A/N: 2512 words. I keep seeing fics about having a kid with MGK, but there's a lot of folks who can't have kids or don't want to have kids, but they shouldn't be excluded from having fluffy family fics!! And hes already got a kick ass daughter, so here. Written on my phone so potentially buggy. I just kind of love writing MGK who's so loving and protective of his daughter okay??

----

It took a long time to meet Casie. Colson had been hesitant; if you met his daughter, that meant whatever was going on between the two of you was real, was serious, and he'd been burned too many times to make that step so easily. Of course she knows about you, but she understands her father's hesitation, and the two of you unknowingly share patience, waiting for Colson to feel ready.

So you and he had been dating for almost a full year before you finally meet her. He picks a fancy restaurant for the three of you, and as you're making your way there, you realise you're actually nervous. By now you know where you fit in Colson's life; his friends like you, even his management team likes you, but Casie? You have absolutely no idea how she feels about you, but you know without a shadow of a doubt, that if she ends up not liking you, you can kiss any sort of future with Colson goodbye. To him, Casie hangs the stars in the sky, and he'd choose her every single time, not that you'd ever expect anything different. 

You get to the restaurant first, and the reservation is under his name, so you head on in and nervously start on the ice water they bring to your table. About five minutes later, you hear Colson call your name, and you look up from your phone, eyes wide, and stand abruptly. Casie looks nervous too, all of seven years old in a pair of dark blue jeans and a pretty blouse, and you smile at her as they approach.

"Hi," she's quiet, looking you over and evaluating you, and after a moment you offer your hand. She shakes it, grip surprisingly strong for a seven year old, and she tells you its nice to meet you.

"Its nice to meet you too, I've heard so much about you," you tell her, and she gives a little smile at that. Colson pulls out her chair for her and she thanks him. She's so proper, making a show of putting her napkin in her lap as you pour her a glass of water.

Its awkward at first, of course it is, but then Casie asks what you think of the album Colson's about to release, and the tension breaks. Your enthusiasm for his music goes a long way to reassuring her it seems, and its suddenly much easier to relax into the conversation. 

After dinner, you suggest swinging by McDonalds for milkshakes, and Casie practically cheers. You graciously slide into the back seat before any confusion arises, and when Casie's putting on her seatbelt, Colson looks over his shoulder to you and gives a warm, grateful look. Its going better than he'd hoped.

Its still a little strange; you practically live with Colson, though previously you've been crashing on a friend's sofa whenever Casie's come to visit, so its strange to wake up in his house on a Saturday morning, and find the two of them eating waffles and watching cartoons. It's… endearing. 

Casie's staying for two weeks this time, and on the third day of her stay, Colson's called away for a meeting about his album that was releasing in a few months. He says it'll only be a few hours, but you need to watch Casie. Its easy enough to keep her entertained; after lunch she pulls out her DS, and sits next to you, not really paying attention to the Spongebob rerun on TV.

"What are you playing?" You can't help but be intrigued at the strangely familiar music coming from the device. She turns the screen towards you and you see a little dog panting happily. Nintendogs. A wave of nostalgia hits you. "That game's so old," you say with a gentle smile, but Casie just looks confused. Its turns out to be Nintendogs + Cats, but the premise is still the same. She's surprised that you take such an interest in the game, and is more than excited to show you the tricks her dogs can do, and tells you very matter-of-factly that you can walk the dog to the dog park, so long as she supervises. By the end of the day, the two of you are acting like old friends, and Colson comes home to the pair of you curled up on the sofa trying to decide which dog she should get next in the game. 

She names it after you. Its far more touching than you realised it would be.

For the next few months, whenever she visits, she makes sure to tell you how Y/N The Dog is doing, right up until she gets Animal Crossing: New Leaf and lets Nintendogs fall to the wayside. 

You love her dad, and you take a genuine interest in her, and after several months and a few meetings over coffee, her mom trusts you to look after her when Colson's away doing press for his album and his new tour. Thats all that matters to Casie. 

You start to think the world of her; she's an incredible kid, bright and fun, but strangely sensible at times, and effortlessly cool. You find yourself thinking that if you were ever to have a kid, you'd want them to be like her, though you know children of your own aren't on the cards for your future. You'd known that for a while now, and so did Colson, though neither of you try to dwell on it much. 

Whatever chance Colson takes to support his daughter, you're there too. Recitals, public speaking contests, science fairs; if you're able to be there, you'll be there, making a conscious effort to befriend her mother along the way. Its clear you intend to stick around; you're good for Colson and you're good for Casie, and that's the mpst important thing.

As your year with Colson turns to two, to three, to four, the two of you start to consider what your future together would look like. 

He proposes quietly over dinner at the same restaurant he took you and Casie all those years ago. Of course you say yes. Of course you both FaceTime Casie the next day and she cheers so loudly her mother's dog starts barking in the background. 

"Can I help plan your wedding? Please, please, please?" She begs, and it hits that oh, that's right, a proposal leads to a wedding. You had been so caught up in the moment that the reality hadn't quite hit you. You were going to marry Colson Baker. Your smile widens at the very thought. 

"We'll talk about it when you're next here," Colson tells her with a grin, his hand in yours, fiddling with the engagement ring. Casie is over the moon, and her mother peers into the video chat wearing a warm smile, congratulating you both. 

After the call ends, you're quick to start peppering him with kisses.

"Do I take your last name?" You ask, breathless, straddling him.

"If you want," he shrugs, easy smile on his lips.

"Y/N Baker." There's a kind of awe in your voice as you say it, and Colson reaches out to cup your cheek in his hand, and you turn and press a kiss to his palm.

"Y/N Y/L/N-Baker," he suggests softly, and your expression lights up as you lean into to kiss him again, a giggle escaping you.

"I hadn't even considered hyphenating!" You say with delight. 

Casie helped pick the wedding colors, and was quick to start a pinterest board for inspiration, and seemed more excited than ever, bursting with ideas and always eager to help, always asking questions.

"So you're gonna be my step-mom?" She asks, and you make a thoughtful noise in the back of your throat. You're on your phone looking through wedding dresses, and she's playing Breath of the Wild on Colson's Switch, and she pauses the game to look at you. "Do I have to call you that?" She sounds dubious, and you laugh lightly.

"No way," you assure her, "only call me your Step-Mom if I start acting like a Disney villain, okay?"

Casie snorts a laugh and agrees, going back to her game, but something about the interaction sits with you. You keep thinking about it, keeping coming back to it, and you're not quite sure why until the day she breaks her arm trying to skateboard in the driveway. 

Thankfully its Summer and you're home, but Colson's on set filming The Dirt when you hear her start to cry. You get her to the hospital quickly and call Colson, and he says he's on his way. The nurse approaches you, looking at the paperwork you've filled out.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am," and that's never a good sign, "we really need a parent or legal guardian here to fill out this paperwork for her."

"I'm going to be her step mother in less than a month-" you tried desperately, giving a crestfallen look to where Casie was being administered pain medication. The nurse gave a deep sigh, and you already know that almost step mother isn't enough, "her dad's going to be here in fifteen minutes." You tell the nurse, and she gives a patient smile, somewhat reassured.

Colson comes in his full Tommy Lee getup, and rushes to wrap Casie up in as much of a hug as he can without hurting her. Its a heartwarming sight, and just having him there eases the rest of Casie's anxieties.

"They wouldn't let a doctor see me because Y/N's not my legal guardian," she whined, a little out of it from the pain medication, "she takes such good care of me; everyone here's a dick," she grumbles, and Colson laughs gently, sitting beside her in the hospital bed, casting you a grateful look. He won't admonish her on her cursing, not here, not now. There's a warm fondness blooming in your chest at her words, a protectiveness that you hadn't realised you'd been harbouring until today.

Casie stays in the emergency department overnight, with you and Colson by her bedside the entire time. You call to inform her mom, who's just glad that you got her to the hospital quickly. The next day, she's released with a cast and pain medication, and is entirely too grumpy for her usually sunny disposition, though she cheers up quickly when you tell her she can have whatever she wants for lunch and dinner.

"I'm gonna have a cast for your wedding!" She bemoans the next day, reading over the instructions the doctor had given you.

"And you're gonna look fantastic regardless," you tell her, but she just throws herself onto the sofa with a huff. Eventually she rolls onto her side and switches on the TV, occupying herself while Colson calls you into the bedroom.

He's sitting on the edge of the bed, fidgeting, looking surprisingly serious. When you enter, he looks up, expression pensive.

"Everything okay?"

"I just hate to see her in pain," he admits with a sigh, but you can tell that's not all that's on his mind. You won't push him, will let him work up to whatever he has to say, and so you just sit on the bed beside him and wrap an arm around him.

"So I've been thinking," he starts, "and Casie's been thinking it too, and we ran it past her mom, because we wanted everyone sort of on board before we brought it to you," and you're not quite sure where he's going, but your heart is in your throat, "and yesterday just made me think we should have talked to you about it sooner -"

"About what?" You ask, voice quiet.

"What do you think about becoming one of Casie's legal guardians?" A bright warmth floods through you at his question, and your at a loss for words, so he continues, "you do take care of her, and you know, you're family, and she adores you, and it means there won't be anymore shit like what happened yesterday at the hospital -"

"She'd sort of be my kid too?" You ask, quietly hopeful, and Colson goes quiet, takes in your smile and realises what he's implying. Slowly, he nods.

"She'd be your kid too."

"And she- you're all okay with this?" 

"Casie and her mom both love you, babe, you've made it clear that you put her safety first; her mom wouldn't have agreed otherwise."

"And Casie… wants this?" 

Colson nods sincerely, pulling you in close to him.

"What do you think? I know its a lot of responsibility -" he starts, but you cut him off, grinning.

"I'd kill for her; honestly I couldn't ask for a better kid," you tell him, and he's trying and failing to suppress and enormous grin.

"She's is gonna roast the shit out of me for taking so long to ask you," he admitted, and you snort a laugh, "I had to talk her down from a proposal of her own, though I will say, she designed a pretty sick banner. Ask her about it, I'm sure she'd love to show you." He chuckles fondly, before growing quiet and contemplative, "I'm so happy about this, babe."

"You should be," you huff out a laugh, but there's a disarming sincerity in his eyes when he looks at you.

"No, I mean it, before I met you, I was always so fucking worried that the girls I met would be put off by me having a kid, or they'd get jealous of the attention I give her, but she's my fucking daughter, man, and I knew if I met someone who loved her even half as much as I love her, I'd have hit the jackpot," he paused, giving you a warm, appreciative look, "and here you are."

"Oh," and you feel tears pricking your eyes, unable to stop smiling at the sentiment, "you're a good fucking dad, you know that?"

"I hope so," he says softly, before his expression brightens, "you wanna go tell her the good news?"

You head down to the living room while Colson collects himself, and you find Cassie drawing on her cast with sharpie. 

"Hey, you mind if I float you an idea?" You ask, sitting beside her. She hands over the sharpie and offers her cast for you to sign.

"Is it about the wedding?"

"Not really," you say airily, avoiding her intrigued gaze, "what would you say to me becoming your legal guardian?"

Casie cheers before you can even finish the question, and before you can finish signing your name, she's wrapping her good arm around you. 

"You're gonna sort of be my kid, is that okay?" You hear yourself asking, and she rolls her eyes, grinning.

"No, I'm cheering and hugging you because I hate the idea," she snickers, sarcasm dripping from her words, but she gives you a sincere smile, "dude, I love you, I'm pumped to be your kid, can you not tell?" 

My kid, you think to yourself with a smile, the best kid I could ever ask for. 

[wormstacheangel]

What are the best episodes with Castiel to watch?

Hello! Sorry, this took me a while to answer but here you go! If I miss some it’s cause I don’t remember anything or I was just Bleh about it.

Castiel Epiosdes

4x01 ICONIC 

4x16 ICONIC

4x20 Jimmy is important to Cas and I love him. 

4x22 ICONIC Greenroom. Cas picks a side aka Dean.

5x03 Cas and Dean being friends! Gay panic is real my friends. 

5x04 THE END. “It's the end, baby. “

5x13 “Sam is my friend.” 

5x14 Cupid (He made a cameo video it was cute) and Cas eating raw meat off the floor.

5x16 “You son of a bitch! I believed in-” OWW

5x17 Drunk Cas.

5x18 At this point he’s just done with everything. So he just carves, YES CARVES, an angel banishing sigil into his own chest. He does not hesitate.

Season 6 is good for Cas because the whole time he’s apart of a civil war and is just a terrible liar.

6x06 I am trying not to make this list about Destiel but the scene where Cas pours Dean’s drink. 

6x10 Pizza Man.

6x19 Baby in a trenchcoat aka leader of the heaven rebellion but sure Dean. He’s just cute. 

6x20 ICONIC 

6x21& 22 Both show that Cas is slowly realizing that he is not in control. 

7x01 The whole episode is wild but Cas just going to heaven and saying I’m Daddy now really takes the cake. (not the actual words he used.)

7x02 Cas’s death #3?

7x17 MISHA -- OH um, I mean CAS to the rescue lol

7x21 His cute little laugh! Honey!Cas has my heart and soul. Bonus Destiel: “ When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!” RIP Hester Queen

7x23 “Cursed or not.” Also his little smile when he asks for the plan ahh!

aka all episodes in s7 with Cas in it is worth watching.

Okay, I’ll try to control myself now but watch all of s8 cause its beautiful.

8x02 We see Dean’s POV to the purgatory portal scene. Also, hear Cas’s reason for leaving Dean.

8x07 We see Cas’s POV of the purgatory pov scene. Also, learn how Cas escapes purgatory. 

8x08 “I’m gonna be a hunter.” He’s so CUTE!

8x10 Cas needs a hug. Please.

8x17 ICONIC. “what broke the connection?” AHH

8x21 Badass Castiel

8x22 & 23 Castiel wants to do good. He wants to help but he just puts his trust in the wrong people. It hurts me so much. Look he’s just a small child and he is dealing with a lot right now. 

Season 9 Cas looks good. Like fanservice time father of two!

9x01 First look at human Cas!

9x03 I can’t watch this ending again. It’ll make me spiral. But it’s a good human Cas and destiel episode. Also, fuck April. She gross. 

9x06 ICONIC BLESSED jilted lover. 

9x09 He looks good.

9x10 “I prefer the word trusting. Less dumb. Less ass.” They are both dumbasses.

9x11 Sam & Cas chaotic vibes

9x14 Cas storyline with the angels starts or at least makes it more clear idk

9x18 Gabriel! Also, “Damn it, Dean!” and Cas accepts his role as a leader. The angels are dumb. 

9x22 Sam & Cas dream team lol Also, Cas picks Dean over heaven again.

9x23  “--and for what again? Oh, that's right -- to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well, guess what. He's dead, too.”

10x01 Cas draped across the bed like a victorian lady waiting for her husband to come back from the war

10x03 You know that scene where he’s lying on the floor bloody and dying and the Crowley saves him. And then Cas glows and heals with grace and he’s glaring up at Crowley? You know that scene. Yeah. Bonus: I’m gay and bloody Hannah is also hot. Small tip: Ignore the creepy/gross Hannah and Cas set up the writers are trying to do. They are siblings. 

10x09 Claire! That’s his daughter!

10x10 Claire and Cas make me cry.

10x14 Deleted scene of “Maybe he’s your boyfriend.” 

10x17 Sam & Cas! They are best friends, you guys!

10x18 Charlie and Cas meet! AND THEY ARE ALL HAPPY AND I CRY

10x20 Claire! Cas get’s her a birthday present, grumpy cat stuffy, and she keeps it! And I cry. And she saves him. And she cares about him. 

okay 10x21 cause of Charlie and Cas but also fuck this episode. Charlie deserved better. 

10x22 ICONIC gosh damn it. I-

10x23 Just for backstory for Cas in s11. Our poor boy can't catch a break. 

I worked on this for two hours now Nonny and I don’t even care. I miss Cas.

Season 11 hurts my damn soul because of Cas. I won’t include Casifer, though it was A LOT of fun to watch him.

11x01 “Dean, did it work?” I wanna hold this poor sad madly in love man. 

11x02 I can’t handle the torture. He looks so sad.

11x03 Bless you director, Jensen Ross Ackles.

11x04 Okay, not a lot of Cas but I love this episode. 

11x06 They don’t talk about his trauma but they show us a little when he tries to leave the bunker. And I cried. Once again. Let. Me. Hold. Him. 

11x10 Ambriel glad you are dead cause you were SO rude. Also, Amara girly, queen, I love you but apologize. Stop being mean to Castiel.

11x22 Cas get’s to talk and that’s nice

11x23 “I can go with you.” Sir, you just came back from being possessed by THEE satan and now you are ready to die by your future husband's side. You need therapy. 

Okay, I stopped watching live after season 11 because of the way they treated Cas so these next seasons I binged watched ( a couple of times) but wasn’t apart of the fandom so it feels like I didn’t fully grasp them. But here we go!

12x01 Cas meets his mother-in-law. Also the little, “Dean!” when he hugs him. 

12x02 Cas and Mick :)

12x03 Agent Beyonce and Zee lol Cas and Crowley and should have had a sitcom 

12x08 Cas gets a text (angel radio) that he’s gonna be a Dad and it looks like when Alice had a vision of the Volturi in Breaking Dawn Part 2 lol

12x09 Let me hug Cas! He’s sad over his family being gone. Also, Mary, I love you but I don’t forgive anybody for being mean to Cas. All the Winchesters are on thin fucking ice with me. 

12x10 ICONIC destiel. Cas in a female vessel. 

12x12 ICONIC “I love you. I love all of you.” 

12x19 Worried husband Dean. Excited soon-to-be father Cas.

12x23 Cas dies (again) from child birth.

Watch the first few episodes of season 13 for the famous widower arc cause wtf they gave us THAT. Also, I don’t care for the other world storyline so I pushed that out of my head. 

13x04 Cas annoying a cosmic entity. Fun fact! I dislike the trenchcoat cause it looked so stiff and the color was off idk didn’t look great but Cas looked beautiful when he looks up at the sun! Ah!

13x05 IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN

13x06 ICONIC BROKEBACKNATURAL Also, Jack and Cas meet and I cried damn it. “I missed you.” That’s his son!

13x07 Cas doesn’t put anybody or anything above his baby boy

13x12 Cas has the dumbest husband but at least Cas stabs lucifer. Bet Misha felt good

13x14 Badass Cas. He’s a top. lol 

13x16 ICONIC Cas looks...great. Like, watch it. I would do anything for cartoon!cas

13x19Just cause Cas faced someone who tortured him and it’s made to seem like he should get over it and it pisses me off. But Naomi is so cool so idk I like her but would fight her

13x22 Otherworld Cas is there and Cas just kills himself. He needs therapy. 

13x23 Cas’s face when Dean says yes. Also, family hunting trip yay

14x01 Dadstiel! Also, Cas looks good. 

14x03 Dadstiel.

14x07 Dadstiel. “Losing a son feels different.” And I cry. 

14x08 “because I love you Jack. And Sam and Dean--they love you.” THEY DO LOVE HIM AHHHH! Also, Empty deal is made as an excuse for the writers to do something with Cas later. 

I just realized season 14 is just Cas trying desperately to keep his family together. He’s trying to take care of them and he has the right words to say to everyone but not much happens besides him wanting to be a family man. 

14x14 gay on gay violence lol Also another family hunting trip! 

14x15 Fav episode! I just love Sam & Cas’s dumb chaotic energy in this ahaha! They are best friends damn it!

14x18 Cas is trying desperately to keep his family together and he feels responsible for Mary

14x19 Cas should have been allowed to kick Sam and Dean’s dumb flat asses for locking his baby boy in a box. 

14x20 AHHH

Divorce arc! All of s15 is great! Except you know...19&20 but we ignore that in this house. 

15x03 ICONIC but I will never watch it again

15x06 dude, they really be broken up. Cas kicks ass by himself and he’s fishing and he’s so cute. 

15x09 ICONIC Let him talk, Castiel!

15x11 Cas is THEE best Dad and let’s Jack eat hearts

15x13 Just for the family.

15x15 :(

15x17 Cas working to keep his baby boy

15x18 :( I mean at least he’s out but :(

Okay, this took me all day and I had fun! Nobody is gonna read it but who cares cause I just spent my day thinking of Cas when I had a pretty shit day so thanks, Nonnie! 

[sazc94]

The Way I Loved you

A long overdue Bucky fic for my girl @lannycleave consider this a delayed birthday gift <3

Also Please accept this as another entry to the wonderful @msmarvelwrites

2k Challenge because her challenege seems to be one of the only things able to inspire me at the moment.

Pairing Steve and Reader and Bucky and Reader.

Warning 18+ Only as it's smutty. Daddy kink (maybe idk). Angst. Some fluff (Steve being a perfect boring gentlemen). Surbuan Au type Thing

Not Proof read so my apologies.

Dating Steven Grant Rogers was a dream, He's charming and endearing and you were comfortable. He was reliable, never made you wait, always calling exactly when he says he will. A true prince charming on a white horse always there to sweep you off your feet.

He was always opening doors for you, got on with your mother and talked business with your father. You two were a match made in heaven, he a Captain in the army and you the perfect small-town girl that everyone wanted.

You never had to worry about where you stood with Steve, he would always tell you how beautiful you looked, have you home by a reasonable hour (even though you were in your 20’s and lived alone). He would always respect you and your space, never pushing you for more than a kiss, or at a push a steamy make out session.

However, that’s where the problem was, you were comfortable, you wanted passion, you wanted him to want you, touch you, fuck you. Anything just anything to make you feel that fire you had once felt with James Bucky Barnes. Sadly, Steve was just too much of a gentleman and would never do anything beyond a make out session in his car, he never came into your apartment always making up some excuse about how that wasn’t the proper thing to do.

Your single friends thought you were crazy. They were jealous. you had the perfect specimen of a man with his blonde hair and blue eyes and his abs, oh god his abs, he was perfectly sculpted almost like he had been made out of a bottle. He was a great kisser you just didn’t feel anything.

Then there was Bucky, he was also in the army, a Sergeant. He was just as muscular as Steve however where Steve had short blonde perfectly sculpted hair (like a ken doll except blonde), Bucky was a brunette, when you had first met him he had shaggy brown hair however he had cut it once he had been called up to the army.

Both had blue eyes, however where Steve’s sparkled, Bucky’s felt like the ocean like you were downing in them, and oh god the little lick of his lips he did when he smirked, it melted you into a puddle. Bucky had always adored you, calling you doll treating you right, but after the first tour things had changed.

Bucky had lost an arm and whilst he got an amazing prosthetic thanks to Stark industries the softness, he once had to him was long gone.

The love between you became somewhat toxic, screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain and it's 2:00 a.m. and you were cursing his name. But the sex. Oh god the sex. It was always electric after a fight.

One minute your screaming and fighting, cursing telling him that you cant stand him, the next minute his lips would be crashing onto yours, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth. You let him take control because when Bucky Barens wanted you with such a raw animalistic way, who were you too refuse?

Buckys hands cupped your ass, urging you to jump and wrap your legs around him, Whilst you and Bucky were freaky, you weren’t quite fuck outside in your apartments front garden freaky. Buckys tall muscular frame was taught beneath the shirt as he carried you into your apartment.

Thankfully you were on the ground floor and as soon as Bucky was in your apartment he kicked the door shut behind him.

Bucky backed you against the wall next to the door your body becoming putty beneath his as he pushed his hardened cock against you, the friction of your PJ short. You couldn’t help but moan as your arousal started to soak through your shorts.

Bucky slipped his hand down your shorts and let out a dark chuckle.

“Stupid little slut of mine, already so wet for me and I’ve barley even begun, when im done with you, you wont even remember your own name” Bucky growled.

You loved Bucky, so you knew he would never do anything to truly hurt you, but the way his eyes darkened with arousal, hunger, a want for you, no a need for you, and the way he spoke down to you. Sent shivers down your spine and and arousal flooding to your pussy.

Bucky began harshly swipping your swollen clit, pushing one finger in and then another before he began harshly scissoring you with fingers.

“Dumb slut, whats the matter cat got your tongue? Bucky said pushing a third finger inside you, Buckys pace quickened working that magic spot, before long your orgasm was crashing through you. Bucky worked his fingers still inside you slowing the pace to bring you down form your high.

Once your breathing had slowed Bucky grabbed your legs which had dropped from his waist and pulled you tight around him before walking into your bedroom.  He dropped you on the bed and began removing his pj pants.

He clicked to the spot on the floor in front of him.

“On your knees, bitch” he said. You complied arousal flooding through you again.

“There’s a good little girl” he cooed. You felt yourself flush at his appraisal.

By now Bucky had removed all his clothes and was standing in front of you his erect cock stretching out, you felt your mouth water slightly with anticipation. Bucky had a large cock, but it was also wide, your lips parted slightly as Bucky pumped his hand down his cock lazily. Bucky swiped his thumb over his bulbous head and gathered his pre-cum with his thumb, he then wiped it across your lips followed by a deep kiss.

You moaned slightly as the tang taste of his precum mixed with the taste of his lips. Suddenly Bucky broke the kiss and without warning he shoved his cock in your mouth. You whined slightly at the intrusion.

“That’s my good girl taking daddy’s cock so well. Wanna feel those pretty little lips do some good” Bucky then pulled his cock almost all the way out from your mouth before snapping his cock back into your mouth.

Bucky grabbed your hair and began to fuck your mouth at a relentless pace, you felt your eyes start to tear up as you gagged around his thick cock. You tried to remember how to breathe but you could feel yourself slipping into that cockdrunk haze Bucky seemed to put you in.

“Stupid little slut doesn’t know how to behave, seems to forget who loves her. That’s okay Daddy will help you remember” Bucky said slamming into your throat again. All you could do was whimper in response. Suddenly Bucky removed his cock from your mouth. He wiped your tears away and kissed you gently. He picked you up with ease and placed you on the bed.

Bucky rolled you round so you were face down before gently pulling your ass towards him. You didn’t let his sudden gentleness fool you, you knew Bucky was about to absolutely destroy you. You couldn’t help the arousal pooling in your cunt as Bucky ran his hands languidly along your body, leaving a trail of blazing hot kisses along your neck, shoulder and back.

“Such a pretty little girl when you’re quiet, what’s the matter baby, cat got your tounge?” Bucky said as he teased his cock along your wet folds and you mewled in response.

“Now you’re going to be a good little girl and take what daddy gives you aren’t you?” Bucky asked. You nodded in response.

“Need to hear you use your words Princess” Bucky growled.

“Yes daddy” you replied compliantly.

That was all the confirmation Bucky needed and then he plunged his hardened cock inside your waiting cunt the groan you let out was purely pornographic. Bucky stilled a moment inside you before he began to drag his cock along your walls. Buck tangled his hand in your hair and pulled you up so your back was flush with his chest. You sucked in a breath at the new angle as Bucky began to quicken his pace.

“Bucky” was all you managed to say as his other hand found its way to your clit. Bucky began to furiously swipe circles on your throbbing clit with his thumb as he slammed himself in and out of you, the only sounds that filled the air were the heavy breaths you were taking and slopping sound as Bucky pounded into you over and over.

Bucky could feel you were close by the way you would squeeze around him, you felt him grin against you as he quickened the pace of his thumb around your sensitive bundle of nerves, you could feel the coil in your stomach building at an alarming pace and before you knew it you were hurtling toward your second orgasm.

Bucky had two choices as he felt you squeeze around you, he could follow closely behind like he so desperately wanted too or he could drag this out for a while longer, however as he felt you clench around him in the way that makes him loose his mind every god-damn time he decided to chase his own release and soon you felt the ropes of his hot seed spilling inside you.

Bucky stayed inside you for a moment before gently pulling out of you, he went into the bathroom and ran a bath with your favourite bath salts before coming back for you and gently easing you in the bath.

Steve had picked you up at 8pm sharp he had told you to dress a little fancy and that he was taking you to dinner and dancing. You sat in your small town’s fancy restaurant ran by a local Italian family “Mastriani’s” you had the table tucked away in the corner surrounded by fairy lights, a bottle of red wine between you. Dinner had been equiste a rich tomato pasta dish with a sprinkling of cheese. You were waiting for desert when Steve removed his hand from yours.

You didnt think anything of it your thoughts were elsewhere and then Suddenly Steve was on the floor on one knee. His shiny blue eyes looking at you with such adoration.

“Y/N” he began.

“I know its only been 8 short months, but I love you with my entire being. I talked to your dad, all you have to do is pick out a white dress and say yes. Y/N will you make me the happiest man in town and do me the honour of becoming my wife” Steve asked.

Your mind began to race, Steve was proposing, you would be crazy not to say yes. Sure he was a bit boring, and you two hadn’t even had sex yet but he was a safe choice. Steve looked at you with love and adoration. And suddenly you couldn’t breathe, all you could think of was Bucky. Your eyes filled with tears but this didn’t worry Steve he believed they were happy tears.

“I’m sorry” you mumbled. Steve just looked at you puzzled, not sure he had heard you correctly. He took your hand in his and squeezed it tight, in what he hoped was a reassuring measure. You pulled your hand back with speed you didn’t know you had.

“I’m sorry Steve, I cant say yes” you said dropping your napkin on the table and rushing out the restaurant. You tried to block out the gasps and stares from the people around you.

When you got to the front of the restaurant it was hammering down with rain. You didn’t care you slipped of your heels and took of running. Your heart hammering in your chest as your red dress stuck to you in the rain. The warm summer wind whipping around you only soaking you more. Your vision was becoming obscured as the rain ran down your face but you didnt care. You had to see him.

After a 10 minute run in the rain you found yourself at his door, his jeep was outside but that didnt nessicarily mean he was home or if he was that he was alone. Fear gripped your chest tightly for a moment but you had come this far, no point turning back. You hammered on his door, after no immediate signs of movement you hammered again.

 

Suddenly you felt all the adrenaline leave your body, convinced Bucky was in their with another womans. You ran back down the stairs as tears started to form in your eyes you had just made it to he bottom when the door behind you opened.

“Y/N?” Bucky questioned. Rubbing his eyes. You paused on the step.

“Uh-yeah, forget it, I’ve clearly made a mistake coming here” You said before you started to run off down the street in the direction you had just come from.

Bucky, in nothing but pyjama pants didn’t hesitate to chase after you, grabbing his keys from the bowl near the door.

“Y/N! Wait!” He screamed at you. You couldn’t help but freeze on the spot. Bucky closed the distance between you in a matter of moments.

“Whats the matter Y/N? Did someone hurt you?” Bucky asked his hands hovering over your arms before ultimately he dropped them down to his side.

“He proposed” you whispered. Bucky recoiled as if you’d slapped him, his bright blue eyes darkened with sadness, his brown hair darkened by the rain.

“I’m sure you’ll be very happy together” Bucky chuckled darkly.

He knew he hadn’t treated you the best when you were together but still it hurt the thought of Steve Rogers, golden boy touching his girl.

“I didn’t say yes” you said reaching for him. Bucky stood frozen in shock, why were you here then if not to rub it in his face that he had messed up his chance with you.

“When he proposed, all I could think was how it wasn’t you” your voice came out in a choke. Even now you were scared that he didn’t love you.

Bucky felt all the breath in him leave at once, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. You mistook his silence as a bad thing.

“I miss everything about you Buck, I miss how you would moan at me for leaving the toothpaste cap off and how you could never find it. I miss the way your blue eyes would light up like Christmas anytime you met a cat. I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when its 2am and I’m cursing your name, because that’s the way I love you” you cried. All at once Bucky’s hands were on your face and his lips were crashing against yours. Rain poured down around you but in that moment all that existed was Bucky and you.

[valkerymillenia]

Do you know how messed up my life has been? Someone said I had to be making it up because no one person could have that much bad luck, but guess what? My whole life has been damn cursed, nothing has ever been great, lately it's a just a case of that bad snowballing out of proportion.

I need to vent, so just in bullets points, let's sum up the things that happened in my life just since covid started (can get a little triggery).

-my workplace (a national magazine) shut down and i lost my job (and as a writer and translator I got paid by each article and not a salary so not entitled to unemployment)

-my part-time (at a spa) went bankrupt because the owner just wanted an excuse to move away (also couldn't get unemployment benefits)

-cousin committed suicide

-our house debt piled up due to unexpected maintenance on our building and continued to pile with interested and every new yearly fee

-all my saved up money i wanted to use to get my driver's license went to the house debt and only made a mild debt

-pandemic started

-dad went through surgery to see if he could walk again (which ultimately failed) and became exclusively dependant on me, he's also deaf so i have to handle every single one of his official issues to serve as translator

-an old abuser started trying to reconnect with me

-dad got denied governmental aid

-mom and stepdad both got covid and i was too far away to help, end up using what little money i had again to make sure they had food and medication

-dad got caught driving without a valid license (due to a misunderstanding) and got a gigantic fine and sent to court

-we ended up survive on 300€ a month from my dad's disability plus any tidbits I can freelance

-car broke down and needed a new radiator

-my uncle/godfather died of covid

-my cat died

-car broke down again, needed a new battery

-dad gets denied retirement pension for the decades he worked abroad

-i had to stop my medication because i couldn't afford it, I'm in agony

-one of my doctors dislikes me and is very ableist and blocking a chance i could get government (financial) help for my health

-we accumulated another debt with a cable company that is not our fault, it's the new company's fault but no matter what we do or how we complain all our evidence gets ignored and we can't afford legal help to go to court

-my sister had a massive breakdown and had to be put on disability, immediately got fired and I worry for her deeply

-at the same time my bf also had a massive breakdown and got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and PTSD (again, I'm worried)

-my gf was told to leave her house because her landlord is sick of dealing with tenants and wants to sell the building, she has until the end of the month and still hasn't found a place

-my little cousin, who I'm very close to, contracted meningitis, had brain surgery, was in a coma for weeks (right through Christmas and new years), woke up unable to speak or walk properly, after more weeks of treatment he was released only to immediately return for more surgery due to acute infection, I've been distraught and I desperately want to see him but i can't afford the trip atm

-dad received the court sentence of 6 months suspended license and 400€ fine that we still can't pay

-DMV stone walling us for 8 months and counting (over just for a simple test to fix my dad's license)

-TV broke

-car broke down again, multiple broken parts this time, close to 500€ for repairs

-my aunt's Alzheimer's progresses so much that she no longer recognizes anyone

-my biological father has massive heart failure and is currently bedridden and likely dying but i can't go see him because he lives in another continent and i can't afford to eat, much less go see him one last time

-all debts still crushing us and piling up because we are literally surviving on scraps

And these are just the big ones, there's so many other small things just crushing my spirit. My confidence is dead, I haven't done any of my hobbies (except writing) in years, I have nothing good to look forward to, I'm sick but all i do is take care of everyone else.

I'm just at the end of my rope, ok?

[collecting-stories]

The Truck - ep. 08 - Georgia

Summary: You stop by on break to visit Daryl at the auto shop. The Jeep is almost done being repaired.

A/N: I think basically I’m writing an even slower burn than last time.

Georgia Masterlist | The Walking Dead Masterlist

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

“I think ya ain’t as smart as ya tell me ya are,” Daryl joked as he caught sight of you walking into Dale’s Autobody shop, still in your uniform from the diner. Three days after Christmas and you’d been working as many hours as Patricia would give you. Both you and your mom trying to stay away from the house and each other  as much as possible.  

“I most definitely am. Why?” You asked, ducking your head down into the car he was working on when he sat down in the front seat. A newer model Nissan he’d been cursing since the owner brought it in.  

“Cause I tell ya all the time not ta come in here and where are ya?” He asked, looking over at you.  

“It’s not my fault, Axel said you said you’re almost done my baby.” You teased. Axel had told you over ordering his lunch that Daryl had mentioned to T-Dog that he was nearly done the work on the Jeep. Took a while, he had lamented, but he was finally, almost done. “Heard you’re glad to be rid of me.”

“Ain’t what I said,” he replied, “said I was glad ta be rid a that fucking jeep. Pain in my ass.”  

“Now I know you’re talking about me.”  

Daryl’s expression changed for a brief second, eyes fixing on the faint pink lines on your cheek. Barely noticeable but they hadn’t been there before Christmas. “What happened?” He tapped his finger against the same spot on his face to indicate what he was asking about.  

“Just a cat scratch. Hershel’s got a couple to keep the mice away and I couldn’t resist trying to pet one.”  

“They’re nasty creatures…yer lucky he didn’t take yer whole face off.” He replied, climbing back out of the car again. “Ya on break?”

You shook your head, “I picked up a shift from Amy, I got an hour to kill before I start for her.”  

“Ain’t I lucky.”  

“So, is my car really almost fixed?” You asked. You pulled the rolling stool over from the work bench and sat down, spinning once.  

“Just about.” He replied.  

Daryl hated to admit it but he’d been dragging his feet on the project and when he realized that he was nearing completion and your car would be fixed he was half tempted to break it all over again. Sure, you liked stopping in now, chatting him up before or after a shift, bumming rides, showing up at his house to spend your afternoons sitting under the car park. But once the car was fixed you wouldn’t need him to entertain you anymore. You could go to your friends houses or anywhere really, but you didn’t have to hang out with him. He wasn’t going to tell you yet but he’d let it slip to T-Dog and once one of them knew they practically broadcast it.  

“You working late?” You asked, wheeling yourself over next to him.  

“Why, ya don’t know anyone else with a car?”

“Why bother them when I have you?” You tilted your head back to look up at him and smile. You looked like a little kid with your eyes closed and a smile wide enough that he could see all your teeth.  

He rolled his eyes at you and reached over, swiping his greasy finger down your nose and making you jump suddenly at the contact. Your eyes opened and you slid back against the car. “Careful ya don’t scratch her.”

“Did you rub grease on my nose!” You whined, trying to rub it off with the back of your hand but only making more of a mess.  

Daryl shrugged, “ain’t nice ta tease.”  

“Do you have a bathroom here?”  

He pointed toward the back of the shop and you got up, headed for the bathroom to wipe the grease off your face.  

In truth Daryl wasn’t the only one who wasn’t looking forward to the car being fixed. Your throat felt like it dropped into your stomach when Axel told you that Daryl was almost finished the car. It sent you thinking...if Daryl told Axel did that mean he was glad it was almost finished? Was he looking forward to having you out of his hair finally? You scrubbed the grease off your face and frowned at your reflection. You didn’t want this to end.  

“So, ya need a ride later?” Daryl asked once you came out of the bathroom.  

“Yeah if you don’t mind.” You replied.

“Nah,” he shrugged as if he was indifferent toward driving you home, “ain’t got nothing better ta do.”  

-

You hung around a little while longer before you headed back to the diner for work. The whole night you felt distracted by Axel’s news from earlier. You were desperate to get some advice from Maggie but there wasn’t much she could offer, Glenn didn’t need any persuading to be madly in love with her. They’d been together since the 6th grade winter dance and there was no doubt in your mind that nothing, not even Hershel’s stupid rules, could keep them apart.  

Glenn and Maggie were the exception to the rule. Daryl wasn’t tripping over himself to profess his love for you. Half the time you weren’t even totally sure that he liked you. There were glimpses of something that might’ve been something but trust you to choose someone so hard to read. You spent the whole dinner rush trying to think up less costly ways to spend time with him that wouldn’t annoy him or make him feel like you were some stupid kid. The word kid alone was not necessarily something you wanted him to associate with you.  

The idea sparked when he pulled up outside at the end of your shift, parking his truck by the door. You ignored Lori’s comment about Dixon’s being bad news. She ‘went to school with him’ and somehow that had made her the only reputable source on him, at least in her mind. Coupled with the fact that it was Daryl driving you home you were just happy to be done work.  

“I hate the dinner rush,” you complained as you pulled the door shut and leaned against the seat. “This lady bitched me out over the table having a mark in it, meanwhile her kids were dunking every fucking sugar packet, jam packet, and salt packet into their cups of water and then splashing them all over the table!”  

“Musta really boiled yet blood if it’s got ya cursing.”  

“I can curse.”

“I’m sure ya can.” He teased.  

You pouted, arms crossed over your chest as you slumped in the seat and Daryl reached over, jabbing you gently with his fingers against your side when he stopped at a streetlight. You laughed from the sudden sensation and pushed his hand away.  

“I’m not allowed to curse at home but I can curse.” You insisted and he only shook his head, smiling.  

“Think yer a little too sweet ta be hanging around me.”  

“Nonsense. I like hanging out with you.” You replied, “which reminds me-“

“Yeah, what now?”

“How would you feel about teaching me some basic car stuff? I don’t know anything about cars and I’d really like to learn.”  

It was the plan that had finally occurred to you halfway through your shift. You didn’t know the first thing about changing oil or fixing a tire. Hell, you couldn’t even fill it with air if you wanted to.  

“Yer dad never teach ya how ta handle a car?”

“No, I don’t even know how to put windshield washer in it.”  

“A’right, I’ll teach ya. After I finish working on yer car.” He replied. You had only been considering yourself when you formulated your master plan but Daryl couldn’t help the brief flutter of excitement that he felt thinking you’d decided to ask him to help. Even if it was just so you could navigate the basics it still meant that you would willingly be spending more time with him.  

“Seriously?” You asked, smiling over at him.  

“Yeah, why not? Ya should know how ta fix yer car.” He replied, “simple stuff…still gotta make money.”

“I might get so good I’ll steal your business.” You replied.  

“Sure ya could.” He pulled up where he always did, your house visible from his spot parking along the sidewalk. It was dark, just the post lantern by the front of the driveway on. “Yer parents ain’t home?” No cars were in the driveway.  

“My mom’s already left for work.” You shrugged, opening the door to the truck.  

“She be gone all night?”

“I can stay by myself, promise.” You laughed to make a joke of it but you usually spent the night in the living room, talking to Tara or Maggie until they eventually went to sleep. You hated being home alone.  

“I ain’t got anywhere ta be.” Daryl shrugged, offering some company.  

“You don’t mind staying?”  

The inside of your house was exactly what Daryl had expected. A far cry from the worn down, dirty home that he lived in with his father, this was pristine. As if no one had ever sat on the furniture or lived in the house. There weren’t any family pictures but there was Christian art in its place. Tasteful, Martha Stewart-esque Christmas decorations were highlighted through out the living room and kitchen, both spotless.  

Daryl pulled a face at the décor at you laughed, “my mom went on a pier one kick a few years ago trying to outdo the Walshs.”  

“Can’t complain, it’s nicer than mine ever was.” He replied, looking over the table top tree, “yer dad at work too?”

“No. I mean, he’s away. Visiting family.” You said, heading into the kitchen, “my mom works overnight at the hospital, she’s been doing a lot doubles lately though. I’ll be right out, I’m gonna change!”  

Daryl nodded but didn’t say anything, flicking on the rest of the living room lights to get a better look at the room. The only pictures that weren’t nature landscapes or birds were on the mantle. A church directory photo of you and your parents from this year and your senior portrait, the traditional black off the shoulder look with a rose in your hand.  

“I hate that picture,” you complained as you came back into the room. “I look hideous.”  

“Don’t think that’s possible but I ain’t gonna argue.” Daryl replied. “Least I ain’t the only one who don’t have family pictures up.”

“My mom hates candid pictures. She’d never hang them up.” You settled on the couch and watched as Daryl walked back to the door to kick his shoes off. “I don’t have beer but there’s soda in the fridge.”

“I ain’t ever drinking beer ‘round you again. Yer a terrible influence. Ain’t Glenn Hershel should be worried ‘bout.” Daryl teased, coming over to sit beside you.  

“What? No! I am not a bad influence!” You laughed, “I’ve never done anything wrong in my whole life.”  

“I been witness to a few things.”

“No one will believe you.”  

“Ain’t that the truth.” He said, thinking briefly that no one would even believe he was here right now, sitting your house with you while you clicked through channels. He’d be hard pressed to convince them that you had even bummed a cigarette off him, especially if they saw the sweet looking church photo of you with your parents.  

“So what kind of car things will you teach?” You asked, ignoring the channel you’d chosen and turning more toward Daryl.  

“What kinda car things ya need ta learn?”

“Everything but how to drive?” You replied, biting your lip.  

“Well I ain’t seen ya drive so I can’t cross it off the list just yet.”

“I’m a good driver.”  

“Yeah? You working tomorrow morning?” He asked, looking back toward the TV.  

“No, I’ve got off.”  

“Alright, I gotta pick up my check in Woodbury, I’ll let you drive me for once.”  

“In my Jeep?”

“Hell no, ya ain’t getting in that thing ‘fore it’s fixed. You can drive the truck.” He replied. The truck was his brother Merle’s originally but Merle was in jail and he hadn’t spent the last three years fixing every inch of it to have it running like new. It might’ve been Merle’s to begin with but that old Chevy was Daryl’s pride and joy. He didn’t let anyone get behind the wheel, not even Rick or T-Dog, but he was offering it up to you.  

“I’ll be the best driver you’ve ever seen.”  

-

Taglist:  @cbarter @onemorebeautifulnightmare  @mainokutan @qrangr  @twdeadfanfic @gigilame @sabertooth-potato @enrapturedbythemoon  @hopesxxhigh @coffeebooksandfandom @jodiereedus22 @tehfabbooty @thecaptainsgingersnap @of-storms-and-sadness @twdeadfanfic @alwaysadreamingoptimist @bucky-barnes-babies @ly--canthrope @daryldixonandfrogs @jaycc7983 @easnuppa @imaginecrushes @tonystarkismyboy @watchmeaspire @harpersmariano @cathwritestragediesnotsins @siren-queen03

[babyybitchhhwrites]

Shikamaru x Reader 18+

Title: Sleeping In

Rating: Explicit/R-18+

Words: 6413

Warnings: Cunnilingus, barebacking, creampie

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24482461

♥♥♥♥

Rather than the blaring noise of your alarm, it was the soft nudge of Shikamaru moving against your back that woke you up. A soft rustle of the sheets followed by a dip in the mattress and then the unconscious huff of a man only partially cognizant filtered through the still morning air, drawing you further out of your peaceful slumber.

Groggy and half asleep yourself, you blearily cracked your eyes open to peer over at the clock standing like an ominous sentry among the clutter on the bedside table. There was a little over fifteen minutes left until it would start screaming at you to get up, you realized with some amount of dread. You wanted to drift back off for the remaining time you had but you were already awake and regretfully aware of your surroundings so there was little hope of accomplishing that. It certainly didn’t help that the looming obligation of having to go in to work at the Hokage’s office made you feel ten times more tired than you would have if this had been one of your days off. Being an adult really sucked sometimes.

Shikamaru seemed to settle behind you then and you felt his arm curl around your middle as he snuggled as close to you as he physically could. You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling into the pillow as that anxious feeling immediately dissolved as if it were little more than sugar in warm water; thoroughly smothered under the reassuring weight of his body curling around yours like a contented house cat laying in its favorite sunbeam. You instinctively knew you could face anything the world had to throw at you with him at your back like this. 

Issuing a low hum of appreciation into the quiet room, you rolled your ass against the flat plane of his hips by way of greeting. He shifted, seemed to realize that you weren’t asleep anymore, and his arm protectively tightened around you in response. 

“It’s not time to get up yet, baby.” Shikamaru’s voice was rough and gravelly with lingering traces of sleep and the warm puff of air from his mouth tickled the nape of your neck, making goosebumps erupt across your skin. 

You drew a contentedly slow breath, basking in his presence pressed up against you like this. “I know.” You murmured, with just a hint of forlorn melancholy for effect. “I don’t want to go though. Not in fifteen minutes. Not ever.”

“Then don’t.” Was his all too simple answer to your conundrum. 

You quietly laughed as you reached under the blankets to cover his bony knuckles with your palm. The body heat coming off him was almost enough to make you forget that the likelihood of finding snow outside was exceedingly high even with spring fast approaching. He was a surprisingly effective substitute for a space heater for being as skinny as he was.

“I have to. Tsunade-sama is expecting that report to be finished today. Plus, there’s that meeting with the councilors.” 

Shikamaru snorted and pressed his face into the crook of your neck, nuzzling into you. “As fun as that sounds, I’m going to enjoy my day off. I have no intention of leaving this bed before noon.” He let out a quiet sigh before adding, much more softly, “I wish you could stay with me.”

“I do too.” 

A quiet moment passed over the bedroom and the only sound you could make out was the steady whisper of breathing. Slow and shallow. Rhythmic. It very nearly lulled you into dozing off again, which you wouldn’t have complained about, but Shikamaru’s thumb tracing nonsensical patterns just above your belly button managed to keep you tethered to reality. The rough callus tickled, only a little bit, and you knew that getting anymore sleep was well and truly a lost cause now. Resigned, you languidly stretched after a prolonged moment only to issue a quiet groan at the resulting series of pops down your spine.

“You could always tell them you’re sick.” He helpfully suggested, dragging his hand down over your abdomen to slip between your parted thighs. You tensed slightly but didn’t protest even when the pressure of his palm cupping possessively around your pussy made an interested spark ignite deep inside your gut. “My dad doesn’t actually need you there to do the paperwork for him. He’s perfectly capable of managing on his own for one day.” 

Giggling, you brought your topmost leg down to effectively trap his fingers where they were. “Shikamaru ... are you encouraging me to lie to your own father?”

“Only if it keeps you here in bed with me.” 

You rolled your eyes at the far wall but couldn’t exactly deny that the offer was tempting. Just enticing enough to make you seriously consider it. But Shikaku would have your ass if he found out you’d been dishonest with him just to lay up with his son all day and that was to say absolutely nothing about how Tsunade would react. You weren’t so sure you were brave enough to test your luck against the two of them but your resolve started to crumble when Shikamaru rolled the heel of his palm against your clit, just the right amount of teasing pressure to leave you wanting more.

His powers of persuasion were simply too much to contend with sometimes.

“Let’s say I agree to this.” You intoned distractedly. “Are you going to protect me from the Hokage’s wrath tomorrow?” 

“To my dying breath.” The sly tone lacing his now much more alert voice attested to the fact that he was already sure of his victory. The absolute ass. 

“And your father?” You pushed, trying to convince him as much as yourself that this wasn’t the best-laid plan he’d ever come up with. 

Shikamaru’s mouth curled against your shoulder and he laughed. “It doesn’t matter who it is. I’d never let anyone hurt you.” A brief kiss pressed into you through the thin material of your t-shirt, succeeding in its intended purpose of making you want him even more than you already did. “You should know that better than anyone else by now.”

You wanted to curse him for doing this to you but you were nothing if not a slave to your own desire for him. Blindly reaching back to tangle your fingers in his loose hair, you swiveled your hips down against his hand in a slow grind that left you feeling just shy of needy. 

He chuckled into your back, contentedly letting you tug at his scalp while he rolled his wrist in time with your tense, halting movements. The pressure sent exquisite jolts of pleasure racing through your body and it didn’t take long at all for the two of you to find an easy rhythm with one another; pushing, pulling and grinding together in tandem. You could feel the spot between your legs steadily dampening as your arousal swelled and you moaned when you felt the rising nudge of his cock against your lower back just a brief moment later. A silent reminder that he wanted you just as bad.

“You’re going to be the death of me at this rate ...”

Releasing a clipped exhale, Shikamaru leaned into you with his weight and half rolled you over so that he was draped across the length of your back. The change in position had you spreading your legs and bracing your topmost knee on the mattress for leverage. Pivoting your hips was made all the easier now and you rode his palm in earnest, grasping at the sheets with an increasingly tighter grip that had them bunching under your fingers. 

“That’s funny,” He whispered against the outer shell of your ear, rubbing the hard length of his cock against your upturned ass enticingly slowly. “Sometimes I think the same thing about you.” 

You keened, very softly. The pressure Shikamaru was exerting on your eagerly throbbing cunt doubled down at the low noise of wanting you’d issued and he responded with a soft groan of his own. Turning his head, he dipped his mouth down to kiss the side of your neck; pausing every so often to give your thrumming pulse a teasing lovebite. It had you squirming underneath him, desperate for the full brunt of his attention without your clothes in the way. 

“Shikamaru ... nngh.” 

Grunting in acknowledgment, he started humping you a little more earnestly. His enthusiasm picked up as the red hot desire you were mutually stoking in one another gradually mounted, dragging the hard weight of his cock over the swell of your ass so earnestly that a shudder rippled down his spine. The bed creaked softly as the sharp contours of Shikamaru’s pelvis drove into the plush cushion of your thighs and pushed you forward, bowing your back underneath him. You whimpered in delight and pressed your face into the pillows, arching up to eagerly meet his next thrust. 

“Don’t hide from me, baby,” He rasped, making your pussy clench in anticipation. “Let me hear those pretty sounds, okay?” 

You swallowed hard and tentatively lifted your head. “Aahn .... don’t - nngh - tease me ...”

He drew a pointed breath but the sudden blaring from the alarm beat him to the punch and you both started. 

“Shit!” 

Shikamaru’s fingers jolted against your cunt and quickly withdrew, shoving the blankets out of the way as he brought his hand up to reach over onto the bedside table. He slammed the button to silence the damn thing so hard that for a split second you actually wondered if he’d broken it. The strange sound it made upon abruptly cutting off didn’t exactly bode well for its longevity. 

That thought was short lived though and you promptly forgot all about it when he pulled back to go up on his knees, taking the comforter with him as he tugged at the waistband of your sleep shorts. One good pull was all it took to have them bunched just under the swell of your ass and a fresh wave of pleasant tingles ran up your spine when you felt the chilly morning air hit your exposed backside. The warmth of his hands descended upon the plump globes almost immediately, squeezing and kneading them in a pinching grip that made your breath hitch. 

“Seriously though,” You sighed, sounding far more sultry than you’d intended as you peered over your shoulder at him. “We’ll both be on the chopping block if we get caught like this.” 

Scoffing, Shikamaru lifted his gaze to fix you with a wry look even as he curled his hands around your hips and easily flipped you over onto your back without much resistance on your part. “We were always going to be in deep shit if we got caught like this so there’s really not any higher risk involved. What with you being the Jounin commanders secretary and me his son, after all. Talk about a conflict of interest.” 

He grabbed at the front of your shorts then and you curled your legs up so he could tug them down and off. They were carelessly tossed over the edge of the bed and he promptly lowered himself to nestle between your thighs, jostling you slightly with the movement. You felt yourself flush hot when his intentions became clear, happily relenting when he nudged your thighs further apart.

“Would you believe me if I said I don’t care anymore?” He asked mildly. 

“That depends.” You murmured, your heartbeat picking up a little bit as you watched Shikamaru dip his face to press a lingering kiss to the apex of your mound. “Prove it.” 

The confident smirk that slashed across his pouty mouth would’ve been enough to convince you all on its own but then he shimmied a little further down the mattress and bent close to your bare cunt. Dark lashes fluttered shut against the apples of his cheeks, savoring the moment as he tilted his head and slotted his mouth over your slit. You jolted slightly at the hot, wet warmth; lips parting on a silent groan as he kissed you, slow and steady, gradually working your labia apart with the motion. The moment his tongue flicked out to get its first taste made you twitch and hiss at the sensation, curling your toes against the sheets. His warm breath fanned out across your pelvis on a quiet sound of satisfaction, feeling almost like the barely there caress of spectral fingertips. It was enough to make you completely forget your obligation to the Hokage. To his father. The whole damn village.

With a low exhale, you arched into his mouth and brought your hands down to thread them through coarse, ink-black hair. Shikamaru issued a noise of encouragement against your pussy, the hint of vibration making you clench as he leaned his scalp into the cradle of your palms. His eyes flashed open a brief moment later and he peered up the length of your body to pin you with a hooded look that was indescribably attractive, particularly while he was dragging the flat of his tongue over your clit. You trembled, brows knitting together when a roiling pang of desire shot through you. 

“You’re always such a tease ...” 

One of those sharp, thin brows quirked up in amusement and he nuzzled into you, opening his jaw wider. The impossibly soft, wet cavern of his mouth enveloped the tingling nub and you seethed through your teeth when he gave it a torturously slow suck. He issued another rumbling groan and did it again, slowly suckling at your cunt in a rhythm that seemed to match your heartbeat. The quick flick of his tongue intermittently lashing out to prod your clit made you groan a little harder, a little louder; and you tipped your head back against the pillows as you spread your legs wider apart for him. 

“Oooh ... Shikamaru …!” 

He grunted a low sound of mirth, burying his nose further into the plushy give of your mound. Tongue slipping past his teeth once again, he took his time slowly tracing circles around the sensitive pleasure button nestled between your folds while unhurriedly working his way inward. You were trembling softly by the time he brushed against the center of your clit what seemed a small eternity later and your grip on his hair tightened. Back and forth. Up and down. His attack on your body was sure and precise, alternating between feather-light strokes and grinding it down with the flat of his tongue. It had you shaking with rapidly mounting ecstasy, twitching and writhing on top of the sheets as you softly keened up at the ceiling. 

“Aahhn .... Ahh! Right there ...” 

Wetly smacking his lips as if you were the sweetest dessert he’d ever tasted, Shikamaru lifted his head to draw a strained, faltering breath. You watched as though through a dreamy haze as the pink of his tongue darted out to lick his lips and lap up the evidence of your arousal. Those dark, dark brown eyes roved up to regard you again, glinting with mischief and surety alike as he slowly smirked at your flustered expression. 

“Who’s to say I don’t want you to cum on my cock instead of my face? Hmm?” 

The way you trembled underneath him at the low, seedy promise in his voice did not go unnoticed and he chuckled softly when you fitfully tugged at his hair. Lowering his face again, Shikamaru took a long, wet lick up the length of your slit and you gasped. 

“Why can’t I have both?” You mewled, jutting your pelvis to give him better access. 

He offered you a shrug of his thin shoulders and affectionately nuzzled against your core, the tip of his nose just barely teasing your clit. “We have all day, love. There’s no rush.” 

That little reminder that you were skipping out on work made your stomach settle like a lead weight. You started to sit up, already taking a breath to announce that you had to send a message to the Hokage’s office before everyone started to wonder at your absence, but Shikamaru was quick to curl his arms under your thighs and flatten his palms across your abdomen.

“Calm down. You’d still be getting ready right now so we have time.” He said, smiling up at you when you opened your mouth to protest. “Just relax. Let me take care of it.”

You couldn’t have missed the double entendre even if you’d wanted to and you hesitated a moment before gradually easing back onto the mattress. He looked quite smug as he made himself more comfortable, nudging even closer before closing his open mouth over the apex of your slit again. Stiffening, you slipped your hands down off his head in favor of clutching at his wide hands where they were still keeping you pinned and he promptly picked right back up where he’d left off. Your thighs started shaking almost immediately, making you suck in a faltering inhale as white hot static surged throughout your cunt and into the rest of you. 

“Ooh, shit ...!” 

Shikamaru issued a breathless laugh against your soaked pussy, burying his face between your thighs so he could worry your clit between his lips. The slow simmering flames burning within you roiled and heaved, making the rest of your body feel pleasantly oversensitized even as the heat of ecstasy continued to pool directly into your loins. You could tell you were edging dangerously close to the edge when your hips began twitching under his ministrations and you twisted, arching into the air even as you swiveled your hips to grind against Shikamaru’s face. Clearly recognizing your tells for exactly what they were, he withdrew his tongue and sealed his mouth around your clit and sucked. Hard. 

“Aaah - nngaaah ...!” Blinding starbursts erupted across your vision as you went ramrod stiff against the bed, gasping raggedly. “Shika - aaahn!” 

You were vaguely aware of his mouth curling against your soaked cunt and then he slowly leaned back, tugging on your clit until it slipped past his lips. The sharp sensation of having that throbbing little nub toyed with so relentlessly had you writhing and bracing your feet against the mattress so you could enthusiastically jut your pelvis up for more. Shikamaru was altogether uncooperative though and he turned his head to press a rough kiss to your soft inner thigh, smearing a viscous mix of arousal and spit across your skin in the process. You hissed emphatically, trembling even as you brought your knees together and sandwiched his face between your legs with a frustrated little whine.

“That’s not fair ...!” 

Dragging his hands up from your hips, he gave the pliable soft meat of your thighs a tight squeeze as his attention flitted up to coolly regard you from under the fall of dark lashes. “All's fair in love and war, baby. You know that.” 

You pulled your lower lip in a pout and warningly flexed your legs around his head. “Is that so?” 

He offered you a cocky, lopsided grin, entirely unperturbed. “Well, I can’t say I necessarily agree with that statement in a broader sense but in this case at least, I think the point stands. Don’t act like you don’t love what I do to you.” 

Unable to stop it, you smiled right back at him. He was right and both of you knew that. The slow buildup he was so adept at torturing you with would just make the explosive crescendo all the more satisfying and when he gave your leg a soft pat, you readily eased up the tension keeping your knees together. 

Shikamaru pushed against the bed and rose up on his knees to loom above you. The plain black, oversized t-shirt he’d gone to bed in was yanked over his head in one smooth motion and tossed to the side, exposing the long, lean line of his body. You licked your lips hungrily, watching the muscles in his stomach dance just below the skin. He didn’t allow you much time to ogle him though, shuffling close to kneel between your parted legs before reaching out to hook his broad hands under your armpits and tug. 

You giggled when he effortlessly pulled you up into a sitting position, bringing your hands up to squeeze at his narrow hips. He smiled at you, warm and unguarded as he could be only when you were alone like this. The sight of him looking so happy was enough to have your pussy and heart throbbing in equal measure, and it took everything you had not to start swooning right on the spot.

Oblivious to your thought, his long fingers came up to affectionately brush the side of your face before trailing down to grab the hem of your shirt. It came off as quickly as his had, exposing your tightly puckered nipples to the cool air, and you shuddered even as you lifted your hands to pull at the hem of his sweatpants. You’d never been so glad for elastic waistbands as you were when his straining cock popped up into the scant space separating you two, blissfully free of the restrictive clothing. 

Shikamaru issued a low sound of approval, palming your breast in one hand and possessively squeezing the supple swell of flesh while the other came up to curl around your neck. You leaned into the covetous gesture as you wrapped your fingers around the hard length proudly jutting from his pelvis, tilting your face up when he leaned close to press his mouth over yours. The exchange was chaste and savory in deference to the fact that neither of you had brushed your teeth yet, and you issued a quiet groan against his lips as you steadily pumped him with a gentle roll of your wrist that made him sigh through his nose. 

A soft, wet click rose up between your bodies when you tugged the meat of his foreskin down just enough to expose the glans. There was a fat drop of precum beading on the tip and you lifted your thumb to gently smooth over it, smearing the sticky slick across the head of him. Shikamaru groaned in response, breaking apart from the kiss with a low sound of wanting as he sat back on his haunches to look at you. His eyes were resting at an attractive half-mast, lips parted in a crooked, pouty ‘o’ and the faint dusting of pink on his round cheeks effectively reminded you just how much you loved him. He was easily the most attractive man you’d ever known with his smooth jawline and sharp facial features, and the fact you were lucky enough to call him yours just made your heart swell. 

Reaching out to brush a loose strand of thick, coarse hair behind his ear, you gave his cock a slow tug. “I wish you could see yourself right now.”

He snorted a quiet sound of mirth and shot you a meaningful look from under the fall of his lashes. “That should have been my line. You look wrecked and all I’ve done so far is eat you out …” 

“Well, you’re very good at it.” You offered him a salacious smile as you pulled, bunching the tip of his foreskin with another quiet click before rolling it down under the ridged glans in one smooth motion. 

The furrow between Shikamaru’s brow deepened and he shuddered at the sensation. His gaze darted down to watch you drag your palm down towards the base until the mess of black curls there brushed your knuckles. He tightened his hold on your neck then and pulled you close, leaning forward to meet you halfway. Your foreheads bumped together and the two of you stayed like that, alternating between looking into the others face and peering down at what you were doing to his cock. 

“Now who’s being the tease?” He huffed, lightly brushing the rough pad of his thumb over your tightly puckered nipple. 

You arched into the touch with a sharp inhale. “You’re welcome to come take me whenever you want …” 

Mouth curling in a lopsided smirk, Shikamaru sent you a long look from just a scant few inches away. You could see the familiar glint of fond endearment reflecting back at you and when he drew a haltingly slow breath that made his shoulders lift, you licked your lips in anticipation. “When you say things like that, it makes it hard for me not to act like a brute.”

“I might like it.”

He laughed, low and quiet; angling close to brush the tip of his nose against yours. You returned the gesture, never once breaking eye contact, and when he leaned further into you just a short moment later, you readily let him push you back against the pillows. Shikamaru followed you down, taking his rightful spot on top of you as he seamlessly slotted his hips between your thighs. You felt his straining cock nudge your cunt, tracking more arousal across your labia when it slipped through your drenched folds. A faltering groan rolled off your tongue as you brought your arms up to link them around his neck, trying to pull him down to rest against you, but he continued to hover over you with one hand braced against the mattress.

The other slipped into the tight space between you two, reaching not for his cock but for your sopping wet cunt. You jolted slightly when you felt the pads of two fingers press down on your clit, drawing tight circles around it, and the high strung arousal from only a few minutes ago immediately came rushing back at full force in a blinding surge. 

“Ahh!”

Biting down on your lower lip to stifle your cries of pleasure, you tilted your head back to fix him with an imploring look. Shikamaru attentively regarded you for a prolonged beat, watching the way your face twisted in pleasure while your body twitched against him, and the strand of hair you’d tucked behind his ear only a short while ago slowly slipped forward to hang over his temple again. You wanted to reach up and push it back, curl your fingers against his scalp and hold it in place, but with a twist of his wrist he was suddenly prodding at your entrance and you couldn’t think straight. 

“Shikamaru!” You blurted, digging your nails into his back. 

A sly edge crept across his expression and camped there as he breached your entrance with the tips of his fingers in torturous slow motion before suddenly withdrawing them. “What do you need, baby? Tell me.” He repeated the same action twice more, just barely dipping into your body and then immediately pulling back out. It had you clenching down on nothing and letting loose a frazzled groan into the statically charged air. 

“I need to cum on your cock,” You choked out, trying once again to pull him down on top of you. “Please …”

Shikamaru acquiesced this time and a reverberating groan rumbled deep in his chest as he settled against you, the pliable swell of your breasts squishing against the firm expanse of pecs. You invitingly arched against him even as you brought your legs up to hook them around the small of his back, trying to nudge him closer with the balls of your feet. Shikamaru’s attention was focused on guiding himself to your waiting entrance though and you both seethed in unison when the glans started to sink inside. The stretch gradually grew more intense one torturous fraction at a time until you were blinking through a film of stinging tears, your mouth hanging open in stricken ecstasy. The further he reached inside your body, the harder it was to stay grounded and you finally threw your head back with a half choked moan just as he settled against you at long last. 

“God,” He breathed out, sounding like even that much was a struggle. “You have no idea how good you look when I’m inside you, baby. You really don’t.” 

You drew a shuddering inhale. “It feels good …!”

“I gathered as much.” Shikamaru murmured laughingly as he bent close to press a bruising kiss to your jaw, his narrow chest working against yours. “I’ll start to get a big head if you’re not careful.”

“You already had a big head.” Whimpering softly, you turned to shove your face into his shoulder and muffle the last bit. “And I don’t mean your ego.” 

That didn’t stop him from hearing it though and Shikamaru issued another breathless laugh as he flattened himself flush against you, working his arms between your back and the mattress. “Mean girl.” He mumbled in a fond tone.

You smiled against his skin, feeling like you were floating somewhere between this plane and the next as he slowly angled his hips back. The drag of his stiff cock against your spongy inner wall made you feel lightheaded and dizzy, head lolling on the pillow as you braced for what was coming next. You were much too far gone, lost in the rosey daze of carnal pleasure, to realize that you should have left about ten minutes ago and the thought never even crossed your mind when he pushed back in straight down to the base. A grunt on his end and a staggered gasp on yours with an accompanying wet squelch of your body sucking him in deep. That was all you could focus on at the moment and you clung to him as he started up a steady rhythm of push and pull, the soft thunk of your headboard meeting the wall helping set the tempo. 

Shoving his face into the crook of your neck, Shikamaru seethed with every downward lunge while his fingers dug into your ribs hard enough to bruise. The onslaught of stimuli was overwhelming in the best possible way and you heaved for air as the space between your bodies quickly grew stiflingly hot and sweaty. It made your flesh stick to his, abrasively pulling at the soft expanse of your tummy where it was pressed flat to the hard line of his stomach. Your breasts were in the same boat and you mewled when you felt the soft skin of his nipple drag across yours, sending explosive shockwaves racing down the curve of your spine. 

You writhed under him and locked your ankles together over the small of his back, clutching at him in your desperation. Shikamaru’s quiet groans rose in pitch when your pussy clamped down on him with a warning tremor so strong that it seemed to bleed right through you and into him. Slowing to a shuddering halt, he took a moment to steady himself and he used the opportunity to grind against your soaked core with a stuttering pivot of his hips. The coarse hair at the base of his cock teased your clit with the motion, making you teeter that much more closely to the brink of release and the added pressure on your quaking guts instantly had you shaking uncontrollably around him. 

“Shika - aaahn! Shikamaru! I’m gonna’ cum! Please! Nnnghh … don’t stop!” 

Sucking in a haggard breath, he resumed his earlier thrusting with noticeably more urgent enthusiasm. He wanted you to find release on his cock, basked in the knowledge that he could make you shatter with his own body the same way some men took pride in the knowledge that they could go for hours without ever stopping to ask if their partner had been satisfied at any point during that time. You’d been there and done that before, and as a result you hadn’t thought the sheer heights of ecstasy Shikamaru took you to could actually exist before you’d met him. It was a heady, intoxicating feeling to know your pleasure was so important to him and you happily let the cresting waves of building tension swallow you up even when they threatened to suffocate you with the sheer intensity of the sensation.

The headboard was now banging against the wall loudly enough that there would be no mistaking the reason, and you idly hoped your neighbor was away on a mission. You weren’t so sure if you could survive the embarrassment of receiving a formal noise complaint, particularly not when the pressure in your throbbing cunt doubled down and you suddenly realized that you were wailing Shikamaru’s name up at the ceiling. 

“Shhh. It’s okay, baby.” He rasped, panting into your neck so vigorously that you could actually feel the moisture beading between the two of you. “I - nnghn. I’ve got you! Cum on my cock so I can fill you up, okay?” 

The mental image of him releasing deep inside you added on to the potent memory of him doing just that many times before made you seize, releasing such a stricken shriek of delight that you sounded possessed to your own ears. There was no stopping it though and you heaved once, twice - the tense muscles of your fluttering pussy staying locked in dizzying overload for the beat of two seconds - and then the coil snapped. You jerked under Shikamaru so hard that the bed slammed into the wall with enough force to make the contents of the nightstand clatter. You probably would have shot right off his dick if he’d let you but, true to his word, he held tight. Keeping his arms linked around your convulsing body, he fucked you right through your orgasm and into his own until your cunt was a pulppy, churning mess and he was shooting ropes of hot spunk against your cervix. His off kilter groaning rose in pitch and joined yours, the two of you shaking against one another for what felt like a small eternity. 

Shikamaru was the first to come down and he went boneless on top of you, trying to catch his breath even as he nuzzled into while you rode out the lingering tremors of orgasm. Your shuddering passage clamped around him in rapidly weakening contractions a few more times before stilling altogether and you let out a flusteredly gratified puff of air that made his hair shift against your cheek. Slowly letting up the tension keeping your legs curled around his waist, you let them slide down the backs of his slim thighs to hook in the bends of his knees. Both of you were sweaty, tangled up messes but the contentment radiating around you was practically palpable. You’d never dreamed sex could be so satisfying. 

It was the plush give of Shikamaru’s lips on your neck that finally drew you back to reality and you turned your head, pressing a kiss of your own to the outer shell of his ear. You felt his lips curl into a smug grin and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling too. It was infectious.

“I think you’re slowly getting louder and louder.” He murmured softly.

“Shut up.” You laughed, bringing one hand up to tangle in his hair and cradle the back of his skull while the other looped across his broad shoulders. 

Shikamaru breathed a deep sigh of contentment as he shifted on top of you, seemingly getting more comfortable. A few minutes passed in this fashion and it seemed inevitable that the two of you would drift off in each other's arms when an abrupt knock at your front door startled you both awake. 

“I’ll get it.” He grumbled and sat up, though not without a yawn to go with his compliance. 

You giggled, rolling over onto your side so you could watch him stumble out of bed and back into his sweatpants. The urge to reach out and playfully smack his ass had just gotten the better of you when another knock sounded at the door, but this time it was accompanied by a voice. 

Shikaku-taichou’s voice.

You’d recognize it anywhere and you froze, arm still stretched out on its aborted mission. Shikamaru’s expression visibly paled as he shot you a quick, surreptitious glance and you both seemed to realize that neither of you had sent word to the Hokage’s office regarding your absence at the same time. The twin looks of dawning horror probably would’ve been quite comical had the circumstances been any different. 

“I’ll answer the door,” You whispered, heart in your throat as you jumped up to find your clothes. The thick, goopy mess between your legs promptly made itself known and you winced. “Hurry up and hide, just let me handle this.” 

“Oh, like that’s going to do any good.” Shikamaru snipped as he frantically looked around for his discarded shirt. “That’s the Jounin commander out there and my father! If it was that easy to hide from him, he wouldn’t be your boss right now.” 

You threw your hands up in frustration and spun around to face him, suddenly finding yourself standing chest to chest with your (secret) boyfriend. The two of you hesitated, regarding each other for a quiet moment of uncertainty. “What do we do?” You finally asked him in a small voice. 

Shikamaru opened his mouth to speak but it was Shikaku’s words drifting through the front door that answered your question, much to your mortifying shame. 

“Look, I know my son is in there with you so you don’t need to try and hide it. I’ve known about you guys for some time now, actually. Just let me in so we can talk, alright?”

He didn’t sound particularly upset, more tiredly weary than anything else, but you still felt certain you’d die from embarrassment alone. A brief look at Shikamaru quickly assured you that you weren’t the only one feeling that way and you reached out to comfortingly take his hand. You’d never seen his face so beat red in all the time you’d known him. Even the time he’d slipped on ice and landed flat on his ass when he’d been trying to show off in front of you hadn’t made him look quite this humiliated.

“It’ll be okay.” You assured him in a soft tone. “Let’s just talk to him, okay?” 

Forcibly shrugging off his shellshocked daze, Shikamaru peered into your face for a long moment while those big brown eyes darted back and forth over your features in search of an answer. Then, so imperceptibly you almost missed it, he squeezed your fingers with a cautiously optimistic smile. “Okay. Let’s tallk.”

[buckyjamess-archive]

Hi Sher! Can I get angst prompt 32 for Sam Wilson? x (i also kinda love you switched back to your seb url)

yes you can, there's not enough love for my man sam!

32. “Because i love you god damnit!”

pairings: sam wilson x reader

warnings: y'know avengers with their violence, blood and stuff. Cursing. fluffy end because can't leave my man hanging.

wordcount: 1.3k+, I will no longer call these things a blurb

❝ all the things i say ❞

it's what cats do, right? hide away when they know they're dying, their ninth life hanging on a thread. Hiding away from potential predators in moments of weakness. 

But you're not on your ninth life and you're not hiding away from potential predators. You only have one life anf it's hanging on a thread and you're hiding from your team, you don't need to be found, it is good, at peace. No need to bring your friends into danger in a desperate attempt to find you.

I had a good life. 

Your ears ring from the immense impact of the explosion mere feet away from you. The flames around you warming your cheeks and causing a trail of destruction. Your head is heavy from hitting it hard and the agonizing pain from your side makes you want to faint. A sharp piece of metal impaling the skin where your ribs end, marking your suit in a dark red stain, like red wine on a white carpet.

This is it, at least you die fighting the bad. 

With the little energy and will power that's left in your body, you drag yourself away from the fight, finding a spot between two flipped cars and nestling yourself in between, you hand never leaving the wound on your side. Your back hitting the cold metal behind you and the sound of a thud when your head meets the car. 

The ringing in your ears fade away but the deafening sound of the gun fight around and muffles the voices coming through your com stay but even if you wanted to say something, you doubted your voice or the lack therefore would let you.

Focus on your breathing if these were your last moments on earth, you're fighting to make it as painless and relaxed as it can be. You knew the day was going to come one way or another. 

as your life flashes before your eyes, the good and the bad projected like an old movie, your mom, your dad, your family, your friends, the sounds around you fade away, vision getting more and more unclear with each sharp inhale. 

It lasts two or maybe three seconds of slowly drifting to another, safer and better place when the cold against your cheeks and the yelling voice far in the distance pulls you back into the real world. 

Through droopy eyelids you're met with the brown eyes, usually filled with joy and sparkle and a faltered smile which could light up a room in better days. Sam wilson, the guy you joked around with and told you 'not to die or I'll kill you' moments before going into battle. 

Goddamnit, he found you.

You don't hear his voice or maybe you just don't want to. The gears shifting in your mind and going miles per hour as you desperately try to form the sentences, get the man, your best friend out of here. He's risking his life.

"Go away, Sam." It takes everything to mumble the words out and swat his heads away from your body. 

Sam refuses, ignoring your poor attempt at pushing him away, pleading him to leave you behind "I'm not leaving you behind!" 

and if looks could kill, sam would be dead by now and with a new found will and power, you push him away, nearly throwing him off his balance. A pained groan leaving your lips and a hand clothing your side "Get. Out. Of. Here!" 

Sam clenches his jaw, confused and sad with anger running through his veins "No!" 

"Why the hell not, you all will be fine without me!" 

it's the tears in your eyes, the crack in your voice and the color slowly draining from your face that tells Sam you're serious but he can't, he can't leave you on your own, not after he promised himself to tell the truth. 

“Because i love you god damnit!” Sam spat, hands now on both sides of your cheeks "have for a while!" 

and if it's the thing you needed to hear, as if it's your queue, a now-i-can-die-happy, you give Sam one of the faintest smiles and your eyes slowly close.

"damnit," Sam mumbles underneath his breath in panic, slapping your color drained cheeks softly in an attempt to keep you awake "could use some help here!" 

"and no heavy lifting, no sports, don't test the waters by forcing your limits and ask for help, let yourself be pampered." The nurse demands "as much as I enjoyed your company, I don't want to see you here again." 

From where you're seated on the edge of the hospital bed, you smile at the elderly nurse in front of you "wasn't planning on coming back, no offense but the food is just not that good." 

"That's because I didn't make it sweetheart." looking over the rim of her glasses, she squints her eyes and copies your smile "take care now." 

"I will." you nod.

The nurse shakes your hand firm, flashes the man behind you a quick smile and leaves the room. 

"Asking for help, you?" 

Unbeknownst to the man behind you, you roll your eyes and bite the inside of your cheeks to keep yourself from speaking. 

You watch the man as he comes into your field of vision, arms crossed in front of his chest and that damn warm smile on his face. 

"I'm going to be a pain in the ass, intentionally." you shoot him a fake smile "going to make you my maid." 

Sam's brows knit together and he watches you through squinted eyes "That's how it's going to be?" 

"Absolutely," 

you smile genuinely this time when he dips down to capture your lips for a kiss "I can live with that." 

"Even going to get you one of those maid skirts-" 

"Okay, alright-" Sam interrupts "get your ass in that wheelchair, we're going home. If that's what you fantasize about, you might want to ask Steve or bucky." 

"Maybe I will." You chuckle back. 

You let Sam help you, knowing all too well that your body will raise red flags with the smallest movements you make on your own. 

"Alright," Sam groans when he tosses the duffel bag over his shoulder "let's go home." 

within minutes you're outside, white walls, sterile rooms and bad food long forgotten and fresh air filling your lungs. Freedom. Something you craved after two months in this god forsaken place, bed bound. 

Sam's car is parked nearby and unlocks it, light flashing a couple of times. He stops the wheelchair a few steps away and opens the passenger side where he carefully helps you in. Handling you like a fragile package. 

"I can do that myself." You laugh when he reaches for your seatbelt. 

"Alright." Sam says, hands raised in the air in defense "if you say so." 

Sam presses a quick kiss to your forehead and stands back straight and closes the door. Making his way to the back where he opens the trunk and pushes your duffel bag. 

You watch the man, you've learned to love so much throughout the years, push the now empty wheelchair back into the building, a quick pep in his step when he returns back. That beautiful smile on his face when he seats himself next to you. 

"Alright, let's go home." 

"Quickly if you don't mind." You mumble back "worst hotel I've ever been in." 

Sam laughs and without another word he starts the engine and drives away from the place you called home for the time being.

The drive back to the compound is a blissful silence but the way Sam grabs your hand whenever he can and kisses the back of it, makes your stomach knot and you know that with Sam by your side, it's going to be a wild ride. 

[imagineaworlds]

I Love You (Part Thirty-Seven) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: Cursing. Mentions of death, torture, panic attack, PTSD-- everything Criminal Minds. Talk of sex, BDSM, Dom/sub relationship, etc.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader

Word Count: 11928

Timeline: Season 6 Episode 06. Seven months after part thirty-six.

I huffed as more flour fell off the counter and landed on the tile floor of the kitchen. I promised Hotch that Jack and I would be clean, but it was getting increasingly hard to uphold my end of that deal as Jack tried to start a food fight. I was trying my hardest to not dip a finger into the sugar and drag it onto Jack’s nose. Despite the fact that Jack wanted to make these cookies in the first place, it seemed like I was doing all the work while he was trying to make the world’s biggest mess. Hotch definitely saw this coming. Which, in hindsight, was probably why he tried to warn me away from the task, but I wanted to spend some time with Jack doing something he was excited about. And this was that something. Unfortunately for me.

Jack had jumped onto our bed before we were awake, begging us to help him make some Halloween cookies. Hotch groaned and told him that we could just go buy some at the grocery store— but Jack was adamant that he wanted to make them homemade, just like Haley used to do. Hotch opened his eyes in an instant and looked at me, searching for help that I was refusing to give. I thought that it was a good idea, and if it was tradition, what was the harm. Hotch knew, though. The bastard knew and he didn’t warn me. I mean, he tried to tell me that if it got too messy, it would be my mess to clean up. When I told him, “Make me” after Jack left, Hotch warned that if I didn’t pick up after, then I’d have a problem walking tomorrow.

That threat was enough to convince me to try and baby Jack while we started gathering up all of the ingredients to make the cookies he wanted. It started fun and innocent, but the more bored Jack got with the process, the quicker he was to spiral into chaos. He thought it was funny to stick his hand into the bag of sugar and eat a handful of it. Not only did it just encourage his sugar high that had come with all the candy laying around the house, but it got everywhere. I tried to warn him to not do it again, but he got smart and started chugging the orange and black sprinkles. When I noticed what he was doing, I tickled him to loosen his grip around the bottle, then hid it on a shelf that was too high up for him to reach. Then, as we started rolling the dough, Jack kept trying to steal some to eat raw, which I told him wasn’t healthy, but he didn’t seem to care.

“It tastes good!” he had insisted after I squinted sternly at him.

When the cookies were finally in the oven and I managed to shoo Jack away so that he couldn’t find some way to burn down the house, I started cleaning up the mess we made. There was flour and sugar all over the counters, the floor, and, somehow, the wall. Jack had dropped a few sprinkles, too, but by some miracle, most of them managed to make their way into his mouth before I stole them away. I wiped down the counters after sweeping up the floor first. When that was finished, I grabbed the cookie cutters to put away. Jack had wanted black cat and pumpkin shaped cookies, tossing the ghost shaped cutter to the side the moment he laid eyes on it.

Once the kitchen was clean, I had a few minutes to spare before the cookies would be done baking in the oven. Jack was out in the living room, watching a random Halloween movie; Hotch and Jessica were outside, decorating the house together while talking about Jack, probably. We had been away a lot recently, and Hotch was still worried about Jack since Haley’s death. Because Jessica spent more time with Jack than anyone else, it made sense for him to go to her about his son—

The kitchen timer dinged.

“Jack, go grab Dad and Aunt Jessica!” I called out.

I heard the TV turn off and the front door fly open as I leaned down with oven mitts on to grab the cookie sheet. I set the tray on a pair of hot pads on the counter and sighed while taking off the mitts. The cookies looked good, and they’d be fairly easy to decorate— especially since Jack was probably just going to spray orange and black frosting and sprinkles on them randomly before calling it a day.

Three pairs of footsteps echoed throughout the house, the front door closing behind the last one inside. In a minute, Jack came running up to me, and when he tried to touch the cookie sheet, I pulled his hands away with a warning that it was too hot. Jessica and Hotch walked in shortly after. Hotch hummed happily. I smiled at him to notice that he was taking in the scent of sugar cookies. My nose had grown accustomed to it, but Hotch notes aloud how good it smelled, and I said that it was all Jack’s doing. “And the mess?” Hotch had asked, gesturing to the tiniest bit of sugar and sprinkles under the counter; to which, my smile disappeared, and I squinted at him. He only grinned. He was going to find any reason to tie me down to the bed.

When the cookies had cooled off, Hotch lifted Jack onto the kitchen island and handed him a container of frosting. I handed Jessica the sprinkles. I let her know that she was in charge of them, and not to give Jack the opportunity to throw them everywhere like confetti. She laughed and accepted responsibility if anything were to happen. I put the cookies on a few different paper plates so that the pumpkins and black cats were separated; also, that way Jack and Jessica had their own plates and Hotch and I had a plate to share.

Jack started with the orange frosting. As I suspected, he gripped the tubing with both of his fists, and he started squeezing as much on as he could, not even trying to stay on the cookie. Hotch had to steal it away before he could waste all of it. When we had the orange frosting, I started carefully decorating the two pumpkin shaped cookies we had. I was more careful about staying within the lines and making them look perfect. Jack, on the other hand, now had the black frosting, and he was going at it again, so Hotch had to step over to keep a careful eye on him and help teach him how to properly coat the cookies. I handed the orange frosting to Jessica when I was done with it. Next, I did the black cats. Jack was already biting down on one of his over-frosted cookies, getting crumbs all over his shirt and lap. Looked like it was going to be another random laundry day. That boy was lucky I loved him.

“Here,” I said to Hotch, picking up one of the pumpkin cookies and holding it out for him. He leaned down, taking a handless bite. “Disgusting.”

Hotch smirked while chewing. He snaked his arm around my waist and pulled my side to his chest before kissing my cheek. I leaned away after a moment because of the rough touch of the crumbs on his lips. I laughed at him before dragging my thumb across his lips to brush away the crumbs and frosting. Hotch gently caught my thumb in his mouth and licked off the food. I froze, biting back a moan because we were still around Jack, but I knew that Hotch could see it in my eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too.” I gave him another bite.

--

The very next morning, we got a call that there was a case in Detroit that the BAU had been requested for. Two days from then was Halloween. We were supposed to go trick-or-treating with Jack that night, but we were never home in just one day. I mean, unless the Unsub was a complete idiot—or a kid, like what happened over two years ago when Elle left. The odds that we would be home on time to trick-or-treat with Jack was slim to none. It was going to break his heart. We were all so excited to be dressing up together. Since I had been going out with Hotch, we spent the past two Halloweens together. There was always a theme for the three of us. Jack liked it when our costumes all matched so that he could be closer with me and Hotch. This year’s theme was so good. Jack and I were the most excited about it, of course, whereas I think Hotch was just excited about being with Jack and seeing what I would look like in my costume. I didn’t blame him. It was a really good costume. I knew that he was going to like it, but that was only if we got back on time.

Suddenly, Jack walked into our bedroom. The smile he had been wearing on his face slowly disappeared as he saw our half-packed go-bags sitting on the bed. I froze. Glancing between my bag and Jack, I realized how obvious this looked, and that this news was going to absolutely crush him. My initial hope was that I could head down to his bedroom, sit down on his bed with him, and explain that we were heading out for another case, and that we would try to race back as soon as possible. I wanted to break the news gently. However, now that he had just stormed in on us frantically packing up enough stuff for three days, there was no chance Jack was going to listen to anything we had to say.

“Jack—” I tried to start explaining, but he immediately spun around and ran back down the hallway. I looked at Hotch with a quivering lip. “Aaron…”

“I’ve got it.” Hotch leaned in to kiss my cheek on his way out of the bedroom.

When he was gone, I kept packing, though now my pace had slowed because of the guilt dragging me down. Once I had all of my clothes and toiletries neatly organized in my bag, I turned to finish putting Hotch’s stuff away so that we could leave when he was done talking to Jack. The guilt was still there. In fact, I think it only got heavier as I folded Hotch’s pajamas. It wasn’t fair to leave Jack, and we both knew that, but we also had no choice in the matter, and I felt like he knew that deep down, but he still hated it—which was totally valid. Sometimes, I hated leaving. Actually, since Haley’s death, I always hated leaving Jack. If I didn’t love working at the BAU as much as I did, and if I wasn’t so sure that I would be miserable without my job, then I would have quit just to stay home with Jack. But I wouldn’t have liked being a house mom. To be fair, I don’t think Jack would have liked having me hover around all the time, though, either. I think he wanted us around more, but he still liked some of the freedom that came with having us out of the house. Someday, he was going to be grateful we were gone so often. Before we would know it, he was going to be in high school, and he was going to be pushing us out of the house so that he could host or attend parties. Until then, he just wanted us there. He just wanted his parents—and since he couldn’t have his mom, he wanted me there. Sometimes timing and fate just fucking sucked.

I zipped up our bags and lifted them off the bed. Sighing heavily, I carried them out of the bedroom, and down the hall to Jack’s room. I heard Hotch talking to him quietly. As I turned the corner, I saw Jack lying on his bed, cheek pressed against the pillow, his face smushed and pouting. Hotch had a hand rubbing soft, slow circles on Jack’s back, while the other one supported his crouched position by holding onto his knee. When they heard me enter, Jack looked up at me, but Hotch didn’t.

“We promise, buddy, we’ll try to be home on time for trick-or-treating,” Hotch said. Jack didn’t look convinced, though. “Come on, bud… Can we get a smile?”

“You never miss Halloween.”

“I missed Halloween a few years ago.”

“Yeah, so Mom took me trick-or-treating.”

Hotch and I froze. This wasn’t Jack’s first Halloween without his mom, but it was the first Halloween we were celebrating with her. Since it was about this time last year that we were still mourning her death, none of us were exactly racing to go trick-or-treating. But we had been doing well in the year or so since then. Jack’s therapy was really helping him cope and understand what happened to him and his mom. Hotch was still going to therapy, too. Despite his protests about going and his insistence that he didn’t need it anymore, I still drove him every Tuesday and Thursday to meet with a Bureau therapist that understood the full extent of what happened, and I sat just outside the door the entire time to make sure Hotch wouldn’t try to escape early. We were doing well. Really well.

Still, though, it was in moments like this when Jack would bring up his mom and how she would miss something special to us that we would be caught off guard. He didn’t understand, of course. All he knew was that he mentioned his mom and the two of us would become speechless. He wasn’t old enough to understand yet that we didn’t know how to navigate handling Haley’s death and raising a five year old kid who had countless questions. He wanted to know why on Earth we would potentially be leaving him alone on Halloween night when we promised we would be there. He wanted to know why we weren’t doing more now that his mom was gone. And the worst part was, neither Hotch nor I had an answer for Jack. We just had to try and hold onto our promise that we would be back in time to take him trick-or-treating, and that he wouldn’t be without a parent this time of year. I didn’t care if I would have to leave the case early. If it meant getting back to my little man to make sure he was alright, I was going to do whatever it took.

I sat on the edge of his bed and pushed his hair back. “We’ll be here. I promise. Don’t you trust me?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” I reached out to hug him, and he let me, even going as far to hug me back with a little more force than I was expecting. “I love you, little man.”

“I love you, too.”

I kissed his temple before pulling away to let Hotch hug him. When we had said our goodbyes, and I felt somewhat reassured that Jack was alright with us leaving, we got in the car and started driving to Quantico.

We were headed to Detroit—which was absolute chaos that time of year. The local PD had noticed a three year trend in the days leading up to Halloween where he was only killing for those three days, and then he would disappear. At first, they thought it was nothing. However, last night, they had another case matching the last two years exactly. By then, it was clear to them that they needed a helping hand with this case, hence why we were being called in at the last minute; and hence why we were already on the jet and not meeting in the boardroom. With one night gone, there were only two nights left before the Unsub would disappear. If we didn’t catch him before then, we would have to wait another year. There was no fucking way I was going to let that happen. I wasn’t going to miss this year’s Halloween and next year’s Halloween with my son because of some asshole in Michigan, of all places. This Unsub who was burning his victims alive would have hell to pay if I broke my little man’s heart two years in a row.

Yeah, this guy, in all of his psychotic glory, was going out of his way to burn three victims over the span of three days, then proceeded to dump them all in random places around the city. Unfortunately for him, the first last night got a little out of hand, so before he could hide the body, the fire department was already made aware of the burning abandoned warehouse, and they were on their way. So, the Unsub left the body and ran.

By the time we were landing, Hotch had already dispersed assignments. Hotch, Rossi, Emily, Spencer, and JJ were all headed to the precinct to start the profile since we were in a rush, and in the meantime, Morgan and I were headed to the crime scene to get a look at what happened for ourselves. The local fire department—the ones who called us in—had done their best examining the scene on their own, but they were trained to look for human interference in dangerous fires. We had a vastly different skill set. Knowing that we were dealing with a serial killer gave us the upper hand since we knew what we were dealing with, but the FD just didn’t get that since it wasn’t their job.

As we pulled up to the warehouse where the most recent crime scene had been discovered, it suddenly made sense to us why he had chosen this place. Out of the entire city, this area was extremely neglected. It was quiet, and at night it was probably dark, and the seclusion meant that no one could stop him. That was… unless someone happened to be passing by and saw the fire. Unfortunately for him, someone did pass by and call 9-1-1 for that very reason, ruining his plans—whatever they were. We knew that we would learn more inside.

“Hello,” a man standing in the doorway of the warehouse said to us, waving in our direction as we got out of the car. He approached us. “Al Garner with the Detroit Fire Department.” Morgan shook his hand first while introducing us. I smiled and shook his hand. “I’ll be showing you guys around inside.”

As we started walking, Morgan asked, “Do you guys get a lot of fires this time a year?”

“When I first started working for the DFD, we had about 600 fires during the three days leading up to Devil’s Night. Nowadays, people are more concerned with drinking themselves to death than lighting fires. As of last night, we’re only down to 118.” He pointed to the door, “Our city-wide Neighborhood Watch program has really helped. We’re shorthanded down at the DFD, so volunteers really make or break it.”

I looked at Morgan, sharing a look that said, “Volunteers? People willing to thrust themselves into the investigations. Great.” So, I asked Al, “How many volunteers do you guys have now?”

He was leading us through the halls inside of the warehouse. “A thousand.”

“A thousand people?”

“They’re spread out all over the city. One of the volunteers actually called in this fire last night.”

“We’ll need to talk to them,”

“I’ll arrange for that.”

“And we’ll need the roster for all of your volunteers,” Morgan said.

“Whatever you guys need. But, do you guys really think that he’s one of them?” he asked, turning his head over his shoulder.

I shrugged. “We can’t rule anything out just yet.”

Really, though, the likelihood was ridiculously high. I could remember that the last big arson case we worked on was years ago. It always stuck out to me because Hotch and I had only just started dating, and somehow, the case got personal for him because the Unsub was killing families in their own homes, and our main suspect was a family man—a father who was just trying to do his best… Like Hotch. At the time, I didn’t know how to comfort him with that stuff. I knew that he was struggling to sit in that hospital room with the one victim who had survived the attack, and I knew that he was trying to clear this guy’s name, even though the evidence was stacked against him. In the end, though, Hotch was right. As always.

Our Unsub turned out to be an eco-radical that believed that the best way to create change and to get revenge on people for mistreating the Earth was by setting people on fire. It was a twisted way of thinking. But, then again, most sociopaths didn’t make sense, anyhow. But when our suspect found out who the real Unsub was—that he was a man who had been trying to help the FBI find whoever was really responsible, he went to end it once and for all.

I would never forget watching Gideon and Morgan as they held a distraught Hotch back. He was screaming and pushing, begging that we do something to help the innocent man trapped inside the burning building. But there was nothing we could do. That was the outcome of what happened when two people injected themselves into an investigation that they were emotionally connected to. Hotch had to watch another father die, and it killed him. And this was before Foyet—long before Foyet. There were no concerns that Hotch wouldn’t be able to protect his own family. He had just grown so close to that man during the investigation, connecting about their sons, their wives, and even their abusive fathers.

So, when it came to arson cases like these, I was wary now of “volunteers” that were there to help us with the investigation. I worried even more about Hotch. Now that Haley was gone—which was still a fresh wound thirteen months later—he was vulnerable to his empathy. He was a good man who cared a lot for other people, and he spent his entire life trying to save and protect strangers for that very reason, but he also knew that he couldn’t save everyone. He wanted to. Out of everyone in the world, he wanted to save the one person he should have always been there to protect, but… he failed… I hated admitting that. But he did. We both recognized that he failed to save Haley. However, he was never going to fail again, that much I knew. He was going to do whatever it took to protect me, Jack, and the rest of the world. Over the next two days, if we were to meet anyone with any type of tragic backstory, I knew that Hotch would break. There was just too much overlap between that old arson case and the sting of Haley’s death.

This crime scene, in particular, was in an abandoned engine factory, according to Al. That wasn’t uncommon in Detroit. Half of the city was filled with places just like this that had been ignored by companies once they moved onto bigger and better things, leaving a desolate building for the locals to maintain or pay to have demolished, which they obviously didn’t have the money for. But that was what attracted people like our Unsubs to them. With no one around, they were the perfect grounds for crimes and squatting. Druggies, homeless people, criminals, and high school kids all sought out freedom in building like these. But that just made our jobs that much harder.

The victim had been tied to a pole on top of a pyre in the middle of the room. Leading from the door to the pyre were drag tracks, a mixture of blood, dirt, gasoline, and soot. The only concern I had about that was that it was clear that the Unsub had dragged the victim in through the door we entered in, too, but the oil and soot told us that he also stood there while watching the victim burn. That was what didn’t make sense. In that massive warehouse, there were hundreds of better places to stand and watch it if he were a Sadist.

“How fast did it take for responders to get onto the scene?” I asked the Fire Department Chief.

“Less than five minutes.”

“So, for three years in a row, this guy has been able to uphold a pattern, despite the DFD and the local Neighborhood Watch program lurking around, keeping an eye out for guys just like him. How does he get away with that?”

Morgan shrugged. “Well, if he’s one of them, it’s easy to ensure no one comes in his area.”

“Yeah… But, then, how did he not know that there was a witness around? And why doesn’t it say that anyone else on the roster should have been in this area?”

“Because he’s not one of them.”

I nodded. “Exactly. There has to be another way that he can keep track of the fire department’s response times.”

Morgan stayed silent as he considered and continued circling the pyre. When a thought struck him, he looked over at me. “A police radio scanner.” He stopped. “They all share the same form of communication so that the police, firefighters, and paramedics can arrive on scene as fast as possible. If he hears on the scanner that the fire has already been called in, he stops watching, turns, and leaves as fast as he can. He’s gone before the firefighters are in the firetruck.”

“And as long as he stays in his safety zone, Rivertown,” I said, referencing where we were standing and where all of the other bodies had been found, “he knows how fast he needs to be.”

“This is worse than we thought…”

I nodded an agreement.

--

While we were gone, Reid and Hotch had been reviewing victimology, trying to find something that could connect all seven victims so far in the hopes of leading us straight to the Unsub. However, they were nose down in papers when we walked in. Even as Morgan and I sat down across from them, waiting to be caught up to date, Hotch and Reid kept reading and talking amongst themselves. And then Reid perked up with eureka.

“I couldn’t find any overlap, per say,” he began explaining to the four of us, “but I think I might have something interesting here.” He opened a file up to an 180 degree angle, then set it down in the middle of the boardroom table so that we could all see. “Tommy Proctor, our first victim, was a convicted felon. He was buried, unlike the other victims, which meant that our Unsub likely knew him.”

“Or, he could have just felt remorse since it was his first kill,” I countered.

That was how Reid and I always were. We pushed back on each other’s ideas and wisdom because it kept us on our toes, and it was really the only kinds of interactions we had at all. Since Haley’s death, we hadn’t been as witty with each other. I think he was scared to push back against me, especially since the team had been turning to me more while Hotch was still out of the office and there needed to be a smooth transition of power. I think he was also scared of breaking me. When Tobias Hankle took him, I remember the worry that was knotting in the pit of my stomach because we couldn’t afford to lose our boy genius… and, in some odd way, I could tell that Reid felt the same way about me and Hotch during the Foyet chaos. But now we were getting back into a rhythm. By pushing back against him, it was my way of telling him that I liked how we used to interact, and that he could give me shit for not knowing what I was talking about sometimes, or if I missed something obvious—since noticing small things quickly was supposed to be my thing.

“I don’t think that’s the case,” Reid argued directly at me. “The autopsy report shows that there were multiple botched attempts to burn Proctor, which means that—”

“The Unsub didn’t know how difficult it is to burn a body.”

Reid grinned slightly at our scrimmage. “Precisely.”

The door suddenly opened, Rossi entering as fast as he could, his suit jacket flying behind him like a cape. Emily was following just behind him. She closed the door as Rossi continued pacing while thinking over-time. “So, I just finished talking to the wife of last night’s victim. During her comprehensive, she recalls seeing the Unsub. He’s a tall, black, mid-twenty year old guy with a burn on his face.

“Well, that gives us a stressor,” I said, relaxing back in my seat.

“And the M.O. makes a lot more sense now,” Reid said.

Hotch agreed. “Yeah, but our Unsub probably wasn’t burned at a stake. There are hundreds of burn victims a year—”

“Thousands, actually.”

“Thousands,” Hotch corrected himself with a scoff. “The information helps, but it doesn’t give us a name. How are we supposed to narrow it down?”

“What if Reid and I were wrong?” I asked. I waited for someone else to say something—especially Reid—but everyone just stared at me blankly; so, I continued, “What if he did know how hard it is to burn a body, but the botched burns were actually his way of torturing Tommy Proctor, and then he actually did bury him because it was personal.”

 Taking all of our different theories, we all split up to separate sides of the boardroom to start brainstorming. There was a piece here that we were missing. I wasn’t sure what it was, and Emily didn’t seem to understand either while she was working with me. We were trying to make the remorse theory work. Even though all of the other scenes didn’t show any sign of remorse at face value, I knew I could eventually see it if I just went through every single piece of evidence. Again, I had to prove to myself and the team that I wasn’t completely worthless. When my mind was too busy with other things, it was impossible for me to pull through with my “thing” as the one person who could just look at things and then immediately recognize them and profile them, and I knew that it was damn near impossible because every time I saw the word “Halloween”, I thought about how Jack was sitting at home, waiting and hoping that we would be back on time to take him trick-or-treating.

And then it suddenly hit me.

I stood quickly, rushing to gather up all of the files in front of me and order them so that I could see a similarity that I was catching onto. Reid said that he didn’t see any connections, but there was something he always overlooked. Relationships. He sucked at recognizing how important relationships were to people—whether they were romantic, familial, or platonic. That was his one blind spot because he never had a connection like that before with anyone who mattered, except for his mother. I mean, he had used people as surrogates, but they all left him, so he had since failed to see how people could hold their connection to someone over all else when he had always been put second to other things or other people. But not me and Hotch. He and I were everything to each other, and Jack was our everything. Period. We held those connections more dearly than anything else. It was possible that the Unsub felt the same way.

Everyone stopped what they were working on in order to watch me closely. When I found what I was looking for, though, I took a step back, letting it settle in my mind before I decided to tell them. Each of the victims had been taken in front of a loved one. A partner, a child, even a sibling. That couldn’t have been a coincidence. It was easier to take someone when they were isolated to ensure that there were no witnesses, and that no one could stop you. But this Unsub specifically chose people who were with someone who meant everything to them. This was all a part of his M.O. His ritual included taking someone from their loved one.

“He was burned in front of someone he loved…” I mumbled. Hotch cocked a brow at me. “He’s taking his victims in front of people,” I explained turning the files so that the team could see the connection I made. Reid furrowed his brows in confusion. I could tell that he didn’t understand how it was that he overlooked something as simple as that. I shook off a smirk. “He—”

Hotch’s phone started ringing. As he answered, his face immediately fell. The call was quick, barely even giving him a chance to thank the person reaching out to him. “There’s been another abduction,” Hotch told us.

“How do we know that it’s our guy?” Rossi inquired.

“Because his daughter told the responding officers that a monster took her dad.”

So, I was right… I wish I hadn’t hit the nail on the head so perfectly like that—or at least I wished I would have seen it sooner, because maybe that girl would still be with her father instead of asking why this happened to him.

“Garcia’s sending the police report to us now,” Hotch continued, our phones buzzing just on time. We all looked down to review what the girl had told the officers.

Christopher Edwards, thirty-five, white, single father, lived in the suburbs. Seemingly normal life. Actually, his life, on paper, appeared to be perfect, except for the fact that his wife left him and his daughter three years ago, shortly after she gave birth. Since then, he had to up his game in order to support his family, so he became a local contractor in Rivertown… our Unsub’s safe hunting grounds. He was burning all of the bodies in that area, which meant that area was extremely important to him—in fact, it could have been where he was burned in the first place. All of this could be revenge for what happened to him.

“Garcia,” I said after Morgan got her on the phone for all of us, “Christopher Edwards, what subcontractors did he work with?”

She scoffed. “The list is huge. Do you have any more parameters?”

“Anything that requires fire.”

“Cross reference that with anyone who’s part of the volunteer neighborhood watch, baby girl,” Morgan said. I nodded an agreement since it was a good idea. As we had suspected earlier while down at the warehouse, he was probably inserting himself into the investigation by staying on the watch.

“Nothing.”

“Come on, baby girl, there’s gotta be something.”

“Okay, give me a second. Let me switch some things around here, and maybe I’ll find a name buried in here somewhere—Ah! I’m amazing! His name is Kaman Scott.”

“How are you so sure?” Emily asked.

“Because, growing up, Kaman Scott was on track to practically be the bad boy turned convict. His family was poor, his education fell through, and he had been arrested multiple times in his teenage years. Only, in 2004, something happened to make him clean up his act and get his life together. After that change, there’s no sign of bad behavior. Actually, he’s the poster boy for a guy just trying to make it in an unfair world.”

“Maybe that’s when he met someone,” Rossi theorized. “That introduction gave him a reason to become a better person. What normally does that?” he asked rhetorically.

“Love,” Hotch answered, anyhow.

“But how do you go from changing your life in 2004 for someone you love to killing three people every year in 2009?” Morgan asked.

“A breakup.”

“Okay. So, then, where did the burn come from?”

“The breakup was probably a result of the burn. So, we need to look for something that happened in Kaman���s life—”

“Already found it,” Garcia interrupted. “In 2005, Kaman and his first victim, Tommy Proctor, were in a car accident, which resulted in Kaman’s car blowing up.”

“There’s the revenge,” Rossi said.

“How come he was stagnant between 2005 and 2009?” I asked.

Garcia’s keyboard clacked into the microphone of the call for a moment. “According to the accident report, Tommy walked away without a scratch, but Kaman was put into a coma. While he was out of it, he lost his job, his home—Oh! Oh, my! His landlord was Tony Torrell—the most recent victim.”

“Does Kaman have any family or friends that we could talk to?”

“No… But I just sent you guys his address.”

Hotch looked between me and Morgan. “You guys go check it out.” We nodded and started making our way out. Hotch grabbed my wrist before I could walk past him. “Be careful.”

I smiled and nodded, though I wanted to lean down to kiss him more than anything in the world. “I will.” I would just have to kiss him later.

That was all I could think on our drive to Kaman Scott’s house, though. That one kiss. Getting home to Jack and getting time alone with Hotch was all I needed in life nowadays. Holding onto that hope, knowing that they loved me, and I loved them, and holding my breath until I was at home with them again was what pushed me through every case. I suddenly understood what it was that my parents were always racing home for. My mom traveled the world for the CIA, working on all of these covert operations that we could never have any information about, which made growing up hard; but when she would come, she would set everything to the side just to be with my dad, me, and Elle. My dad wasn’t gone as often. Since he worked at the Academy, there were times when he was called away to do certain things, but he was usually more hands on with me and Elle. In a way, I supposed Hotch was like my mother, and Haley was like my dad. Only, now, Jack didn’t have someone who was with him all of the time—or at least the majority of the time. Yeah, Jessica was a rockstar for offering to help around with Jack whenever we were out of town, but… Jack needed someone there with him… But it couldn’t be me or Hotch. As bad as it sounded, we couldn’t live without our jobs.

When Morgan and I arrived at Kaman’s apartment, we didn’t even bother putting on vests. Since the report had come in that another person had gone missing, we knew that he would be all the way in Rivertown, completing his ritual while the team was searching for him there and Morgan and I were putting the pieces together at the apartment as much as we could. But the door was locked. On the drive over, Hotch had gotten a judge to sign a warrant, which meant that we could go in without an invitation. So, Morgan took a step back, then kicked the door in.

As we hurried inside, I tried to flip on a light switch since it was so dark, but the lights just wouldn’t turn on. I huffed. No light, no mirrors, no windows… It was going to be impossible to navigate our way around. The best we could do was to grab our flashlights and start using them to find clues as to who Kaman Scott was, where he was, and who his next victim was going to be. If we couldn’t stop this murder, we could at least stop the next one.

“Look at this,” Morgan finally said. I made my way around the room to meet up with him in a corner where he saw a collection of gas cans cluttered together. And they were all full. “He’s prepared.”

I shook my head at how ridiculous this was. There was no way for him to see out into the world—or more specifically, no way for the world to see him. There was nothing personal in his apartment. No pictures, décor, even DVDS. There was nothing in there that told us who Kaman Scott was as a person, and not just an Unsub. He was human at one point, right? He had lived a life with someone that made him happy, and yet there wasn’t a single hint of her anywhere. Even if they broke up as a result of his car crash, his obsession should have still been obvious. It was curious that he was hiding it so well.

And then, as if it were a miracle or Morgan could read my mind, he said, “Greenaway.” I turned to him again to see that he had just flipped Kaman’s mattress to find a diary hidden underneath. “There’s his obsession.” He pointed to the scrapbook of pages that were dedicated to whichever girl it was that Kaman had clearly been dating before his accident. “There’s no name in her.”

“He was covering his tracks.”

“We profiled him as organized, but this is a little much, don’t you think?”

“Not really. If he really wanted to keep her all to himself, he might go to extra lengths to make sure no one can find her.”

“Yeah, well, I know someone who can,” he teased, digging for his phone in his back pocket.

I smirked at how he was off to go call his “baby girl” to help us find whoever it was that Kaman was so obsessed with. Using facial recognition, she would be able to deduce it within minutes—maybe even seconds. She was good like that. Since her attack nearly two years ago, we had all been trying to appreciate her more since what she did was incredibly important to our work, and without her, we would be struggling to close cases as effortlessly as we were.

“We have a problem,” Morgan said, catching my attention. “Hotch and Chief Garner just found the most recent victim’s body dumped in Rivertown.”

“So, he’s on his endgame.”

“Yeah, that’s the problem,” Garcia said over the phone, “I can’t find her. She’s not showing up in my database.”

“How’s that possible?”

“I don’t know.”

“And we really don’t have time to figure out why,” Hotch said on the call, too. “Garcia, is there anything recognizable in the photos to help give us a lead? Maybe a home address, school address, work—”

“Jay-Mo’s diner.”

“What?” I questioned.

“Jay-Mo’s diner,” she repeated. “It’s in the background of all of the photos.”

Hotch asked Chief Garner if he had ever heard of Jay-Mo’s, to which the fireman agreed. “We’ll head there now,” Hotch said.

“And we’ll meet you there so that we can regroup,” Morgan offered. It was a good idea, and it was a plan that seemed sufficient enough to Hotch so that he could hang up on us.

As we were pulling up to the diner, I could see a hint of red and orange hues that came from a roaring blaze inside. The closer we got, the more I could see it growing. The windows suddenly burst open. Just as Morgan put the car in park, I saw Hotch’s SUV parked on the curb just ahead, the driver’s side door completely open. My heart sped up. The realization dawned on me the moment I saw two shadows of men moving about inside the diner.

“No—” I struggled to get my seatbelt off. My wrist was still stuck against the buckle when I opened the door and started stumbling out of the car in an attempt to get to the diner and run inside to help Hotch. “Fuck. Come on.” I pulled against the seatbelt until it released me. “Hotch!” I shrieked, jumping forward to run to him. Morgan caught me in his arms, though, and held me back. “Hotch!” I clawed at Morgan’s grip. “Aaron!” The door to the diner opened up, and I saw Hotch stumbling out while carrying someone along. “Aaron!” I kicked Morgan’s ankle to get him to release me, but all he did was groan and constrict his arms around my waist until I couldn’t move. And then the diner blew up. “No!” I cried as Hotch and the man he was helping along flew forward onto their stomachs.

In his state of shock, Morgan released me. The second my feet were back on the ground, I started racing towards the sidewalk outside of the burning building, where Hotch and the man were groaning and writhing in pain. As I fell to my feet, Hotch looked up at me. I put my hands on his face. He was blinking dramatically, and looking around blindly, just like he did in New York. I told him to stay still. Morgan came running up to check on the man Hotch pulled out of the diner. While he called out for the paramedics, I kept my hold on Hotch’s face, trying to calm him down.

“I’m fine…” he groaned.

“Your ears—”

“They’re not ringing.”

“Your back—”

“I’m fine, Y/N. I swear. I’m not lying.”

I pressed my palms to his cheeks a little harder to keep him steady as I searched his eyes and body language for any of his tells. He was telling the truth. “Don’t ever do that again, Aaron Hotchner. I mean it. Don’t ever scare me like that again, so help me—”

He sat up and kissed me. “I’m okay.”

“Please stop doing this to me,” I whispered calmly. “Please.”

He groaned as he started pushing himself to his feet so that we could move out of the way for the paramedics that were trying to attend to the man Hotch pulled out. We glanced over to see Morgan holding a gash on his leg together until an EMT stepped in to trade places with him, so Morgan stumbled over to stand with us, too.

I was still holding onto Hotch. Ensuring that he was really okay, and not just lying to me about his health, like he had a tendency to do, was my top priority. There were medics helping the man he dragged out. Morgan wasn’t hurt. I was okay. Now, all I needed to be sure of was Hotch. He was an asshole when it came to his own health and safety. He always did everything in his power to protect those around him, and to make sure that they were alright; but he never let anyone show him the same courtesy. That was, unless I was babying him. But I didn’t want to baby him. I wanted to trust that for once—since Haley, at least—he could see that I needed to know immediately when something was wrong, and I needed to know the full extent of whatever was wrong with him whenever something bad happened. I just couldn’t afford to lose him like he lost Haley. I couldn’t fucking do it. In fact, I couldn’t even think about it. I didn’t want to imagine what could have happened if he had wasted another few seconds while saving that man in that diner. As noble as it was, it was ridiculously foolish. What was I supposed to do if he died? Raise Jack on my own? How? How was I supposed to do that without him? How was Jack supposed to grow up without a mom and a dad? Fuck Hotch for not thinking that through. Fuck him—

And then I flung my arms around his neck.

“I mean it, Aaron…” I mumbled into his neck.

As he wrapped his arms around my waist and hid his face in the crook of my neck, too, he whispered, “I couldn’t let him die in there.”

“And I couldn’t let you die in there, either.” I kissed his cheek. “We promised we would be home on time to take him trick-or-treating… Don’t make me a liar.”

Hotch turned to kiss my lips. “I’m sorry, baby.”

It was a little overdramatic to be all over each other and talking like that, but seeing him risk his life like that could only remind me of Haley. Every single danger that was thrown in our path just reminded me of her. It was like flashes. Victims, Unsubs, Hotch at work, even Jack getting pushed around at soccer… I couldn’t shake it. It was like a bad taste in my mouth. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get over it. I thought I was doing better. In fact, I knew I was getting better. It had been thirteen months since I found her on our carpet like that. Thirteen months should have been long enough. Yet, it wasn’t. The only comfort I had was holding him in my arms— alive. It wasn’t like watching him hold Haley’s dead body in his arms. He was alive. He was okay.

“Hotch!” Morgan called, running over to the man on the ground. “He’s saying something.”

We parted from our hug so that Hotch could fall to his knees beside the victim and hold his hand as he tried to croak something into Hotch’s ear. “Tra—” he tried to say. “T—” He was just too weak from the throw of the explosion. “Trac… Tracy…”

“Tracy?” Morgan clarified.

“Yes…”

“Who’s Tracy?” Hotch asked.

“Tracy…”

“Who is that?”

“Tracy…”

“Sir, you have to move again,” one of the paramedics insisted.

So, we had gone to the diner with the lead that Kaman’s girlfriend used to go there all the time. It was a far-fetched lead, and we weren’t at all sure if it would pan out, but we had to try, and it was a good thing we did because we managed to save a man’s life in the process. But the girlfriend… The owner had given us a name: Tracy. We knew that the Unsub wasn’t a woman, so the owner of the diner must have known what we were there and who it was we wanted to know about. Kaman’s girlfriend’s name was Tracy. That was the logical explanation. The only question now was… Tracy who? And how were we supposed to find her?

I grabbed my phone and dialed Garcia’s number. “Garcia—”

“Is Hotch okay? He told me he was heading to the diner, and he told me he was heading in while we were on the phone, but all I heard was an explosion before it cut out—”

“He’s fine, Garcia. I promise.”

I heard her sigh with relief. “Thank Heavens.”

“I need you to look at the family that owns this diner. Is the owner of Jay-Mo’s related to a Tracy?”

“Lemme look…” she mumbled while typing. “Oh—Yeah. Tracy Anderson. She lives in Ohio—”

“No, she would be nearby. Where do her parents live?”

“Indian Village. It’s five miles from where you are.”

I hadn’t even realized that Hotch was listening to the call because I had put it on speaker in order to fidget with texting Emily everything I was learning. Before I could do or say anything, Hotch was getting in his black SUV again, this time dragging the DFD Chief with him.

“God fucking dammit,” I cursed under my breath. The chief probably knew the best way to get there and probably where the Andersons lived if the diner really was all that, as he said it was. That gave Hotch the upper hand. “Garcia, we need the address. The whole team does.”

“Already sent.”

My phone buzzed just as she said it. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Be safe.”

Morgan and I hurried back to our car, racing to catch up to Hotch as dispatch put out the address to the rest of the police and fire forces. Since the drive was short and practically past the sheriff’s department, we were leading a line of speeding vehicles with lights and sirens. We had the whole cavalry. It was going to be okay.

And then the son of a bitch had to say the one thing I absolutely didn’t want to hear just then. “Everyone needs to stand down,” Hotch whispered into his comm. I cocked a brow. What the fuck was he talking about? Stand down? Why? “I just need one guy from SWAT, that’s all.”

Morgan started coming to a slow and steady stop, reaching to turn off the lights and sirens, just like all of the other cars around us were doing. I sat up straight. What the fuck was he doing? No! This wasn’t right. We had to go help Hotch because he promised me that he wouldn’t keep doing this to me. I told him that he couldn’t keep putting himself in harm’s way just for a case when our little man was waiting at home for him—when our family just couldn’t afford to lose anyone else. Ever.

“Morgan,” I said urgently, “go.”

“No.” He turned off the car.

I turned to open the car door, but he locked it and put the child locks on. My face fell. “Derek Morgan, let me out—”

“Hotch gave us orders.”

My heart started pounding in my chest. I glanced out the side window, pressing my forehead against the cold window, watching as it started to rain. I’d never felt trapped like this before. This wasn’t even that dramatic compared to that day when Foyet took Haley from us; yet I found that my heart was so heavy with worry that night. At least someone had been trying to help the day Haley died. We were all in a car together, racing there as fast as we could, trying to beat Foyet before he could kill Jack and Hotch, too. The worry I had about not knowing if Hotch was okay or not was the same exact worry I had coursing through my veins when I thought that phone call was the last time I would ever get to tell him that I loved him, and that I would end up finding all three of them dead in our house.

“Y/N, this is just another day on the job. Remember what that was like?” Morgan asked me quietly. “The two of you always used to run into stupid shit like this because that’s part of the job, and that’s part of the dumb fucking thoughts you two always have running in your heads that it’s better if one of you go down than someone else on the team. So, now, you get to sit here and listen to his orders and worry about him the same way we always had to listen and worry about you guys.”

“I hate you.”

“Get in line,” he teased.

To be fair, when I did “stupid shit like this”, I wasn’t responsible for a son. I mean… I was, but… It was different because Jack had Hotch and Haley if something ever happened to me. But now it was just me and Hotch. And, in some weird way, I was still okay with Jack losing me over Hotch, because at least he would still have his dad—his own flesh and blood. If it were me in Hotch’s shoes in that moment, telling the team to stay back, I would’ve been comforted by the fact that Jack wouldn’t be alone still. But if Hotch died… That felt different. After everything, neither Jack nor I would know how to live like that.

“Sunshine, we’re going to be okay. He’s going to be okay.”

“We shouldn’t have let him become the unit chief again so soon—”

“It’s been over a year,” Morgan tried to explain to me.

I scoffed. “I know how long it’s been… I think about it every day…”

Morgan stayed quiet. Neither of us knew what to say now. I had practically snapped at him, though I hadn’t meant it, and I was sure he was aware of that. It still hurt, though. It hurt me, too. But I was so drained by my worry and running around, chasing after Hotch every time he went off to do “stupid shit like this”. We couldn’t afford to do this anymore. I knew that neither of us were going to quit the FBI because that just wasn’t like us, and we were always unhappy when we weren’t in the field; but I was getting tired of this. Things had to have a happy upturn sooner than later. Something good needed to happen soon. If we were cursed to always be upset like this, it was going to be the death of me.

“We’re clear in here,” Hotch said over the comm.

Within an instant, Morgan turned the car back on and started driving, meanwhile I worked to get the lights and sirens back on. The parade of black SUVs and police squad cars followed suit, taking our lead as we continued around the corner and towards the house. The DFD Chief was standing on the driveway, waving us over. As we pulled up onto the curb, I unlocked the car and jumped out, grabbing ahold of my gun, which was holstered on my hip, and my handcuffs, which were clipped onto my back—a trick Elle taught Morgan, which he then taught me.

Inside, Hotch was helping to free an old man and woman who were tied to the dining room table. Kaman, our Unsub, was on his knees, hugging a little boy as his mother stood close by. I slowed and furrowed my brows. Why hadn’t Hotch arrested Kaman yet? Why was he— Oh. I realized quickly what the situation was, so I released my hold on my gun and my handcuffs so that I could bar anyone else from entering until Hotch gave the go ahead, because there was no way I was going to arrest a father in front of his own son. I couldn’t imagine how that would feel. If someone arrested Hotch in front of Jack, I would have been furious, but upset because I would never in a million years want Jack to have to witness something like that. So, we were going to wait until the opportune moment.

Just as Hotch finished freeing the man and woman, he pushed himself to his feet and backed up towards me. “Go ahead,” he whispered to me.

I nodded, understanding that he wouldn’t want to make the arrest at all. So, I carefully approached Kaman and his family, leaning in to whisper into Tracy’s ear that it would be best if he took her son outside for a minute. She nodded. Kaman was pried away from his son, reaching out uselessly for another touch or interaction that wouldn’t come. When his son was gone, his mother having carried him out in her arms, I grabbed my handcuffs again, this time flashing them in front of Kaman so he knew what was happening; then, as I cuffed him, I recited the Miranda Rights for him, all while he was silent. I brought him to his feet when he was secured. An officer was then sent in to retrieve Kaman and take him outside.

Telling by the look on Hotch’s face, I knew that he didn’t want to spend another second in that house, but he wasn’t going to leave as long as I was in there either. So, I started walking out. As I strode past him, I made a gesture with my head for him to follow me outside without saying anything. He did.

When we were on the driveway with the rest of the team and the platoon of police that had come with us, I crossed my arms and watched as Kaman was led through the crowd. Morgan was standing by the car, watching us, a small smirk on his face that said: “I told you it would be okay. It’s always okay.” And I damn near wanted to smack that smirk away.

“You okay?” I asked Hotch worriedly.

He nodded. “Yeah. I just…” He turned over his shoulder to see the officers putting Kaman in the squad car. “Him and his son… They reminded me…” He sighed when Kaman’s son pressed his hands against the window of the squad car so that he could see his dad again.

“They reminded you of Jack?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“Baby,” I cooed, grabbing his hand. I kissed his knuckles gently like he would always do with me when he was bored or wanted to comfort me. “Let’s go home.”

--

As I opened the door, Hotch pinched my hip, making me yelp playfully before kissing him. We both froze when we saw Jessica standing there, her arms crossed over her chest, a slight smile hiding by her faux anger. I bit my lip and laughed. It felt like I had just been caught bringing a boy home by my mother. The way she was staring at us disapprovingly, tapping her foot against the wood floor, but still somewhat happy to see me, and to see me happy. Actually, if anything, it felt like being caught by Elle.

“You guys are back early,” Jessica noted with a slight uptick in her voice, signaling that she was ecstatic about our sudden appearance. Her and Jack must have been way too skeptical about us coming back on time. “He’s doing homework upstairs.”

“On Halloween?” I questioned.

“He didn’t think you guys were coming, and he said he didn’t want to go trick-or-treating with me.”

And then we heard the pattering of little feet overhead. Jack must have seen our car pulling into the driveway because he was running as fast as he could down the hallway upstairs, racing for the steps, at which point, we heard him jumping down the steps. He knew he wasn’t supposed to run in the house. It was a bad habit, and we didn’t need him putting holes in the walls because he would crash into something or someone. But I would let it slide this one time. I could overlook him running in the house simply for the sake of getting to see him sooner.

I gasped playfully, “Look who it is!” Jack kept running at me, his arms quickly widening out so that I could brace my hands under his shoulders and lift him up into my arms. I hugged him close to my chest and kissed his cheeks over and over again. “It’s my little man!” I smacked one last kiss on his cheek. “Are you ready to trick-or-treat?” Jack nodded. I squeezed him tight. “Go get into your costume, then, okay?”

Jack slid out of my arms. After taking Jessica’s hand, the two of them ran upstairs together to help him get into his costume. Our theme this year was superheroes. Jack was on a kick with Spider-Man instead of Superman these days, so his dream since we started talking about what he was going to dress up as was to be Spider-Man. When he decided on superheroes, Hotch and I had to start figuring out what we were going to do. Hotch got lazy by digging into his closet to find an old t-shirt he had with Superman’s logo on it. He decided that he was going to pair that with a pair of jeans and call it a day. Meanwhile, I was dressing up as Wonder Woman—which I took deadly seriously by going out to find a real, good quality costume that fit me. It had a tight red top, low cut gold collar, short blue skirt, red shin and wrist guards, gold headband, and— my favorite part—the gold whip that attached to my skirt.

As I stepped out of the bathroom, adjusting my skirt to make sure it was lying flat, I could hear Hotch shuffling around the room to finish getting ready himself. “How do I look?” I asked.

Hotch turned to me, and I started spinning in a slow circle so that he could get a good look at me. His arms unfolded from in front of his chest, his mouth fell agape, and his eyes brightened. “You look…” he bit his lip, “so hot.” I laughed and shook my head at him. “Fuck,” he growled under his breath, stepping closer to me. His hands grabbed my hips and yanked me towards him before he kissed me roughly. “I love you,” he mumbled against my lips.

“I love you, too,” I responded, putting my hands on his shoulders, and sliding them up slowly to hold his face. “The Superman look is good for you.” I giggled as we parted.

“Do we have to go out or can we just lock the door and use this whip?” he asked me, yanking on the gold rope rolled up on my hip.

I rolled my eyes at him and pried his hands away. “It’s part of my costume, don’t touch.”

Hotch squinted and pulled me back towards him again. “It would look so good around your wrists, though…” He leaned in to kiss me.

“Okay, Dad, I’m ready,” Jack said, running down the hall. Hotch and I turned to face the door, but his hands didn’t leave my hips quite yet. I tilted my head to the side and rested it on Hotch’s shoulder. Jack stepped into our bedroom, dressed in a small, tailored suit, sleek black dress shoes, and one of Hotch’s ties hanging loosely around his neck. Jessica came in, too, staying just a few steps behind Jack. “Do you like it?”

Hotch raised a brow. “What happened to Spider-Man, kiddo? I thought we were all supposed to be superheroes.”

“Spider-Man isn’t a superhero.”

“He’s not?”

Jack shook his head. “No.”

“Okay,” Hotch played along, “I give up. Who are you supposed to be?”

Jessica was grinning from the doorway, and a smile was creeping onto my face as I realized just how oblivious Hotch was to his son’s love. Jack loved Hotch more than anything in the world. I had been saying it since I first met them; Jack saw Hotch as a superhero akin to the likes of Batman and Superman. I mean, he literally called us superheroes, and he said that our job was saving the world, and he called his homework junior superhero work. I couldn’t believe Hotch didn’t put the pieces together as Jack stood there, and both Jessica and I were grinning ear to ear. I couldn’t even believe that Jessica helped him pull this off and they didn’t tell us.

My heart was literally melting in my chest as Jack smiled up at his dad and said, “I’m you, Daddy.”

I looked up at Hotch and saw how big his smile was now. If Jessica and I were grinning ear to ear, I didn’t know what to call Hotch’s smile. I had never seen him that happy in his life. Since Haley, I feared that Hotch sometimes wondered if Jack blamed him somehow; and I was scared that it would impact their relationship because Hotch was worried that he was failing Jack. But seeing Jack standing there, looking like a spitting image of his father, there was no doubt in my mind that Jack loved his father unconditionally and put no blame on him. I just hoped that Hotch understood it now, too, and wouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jack needed his superhero to keep saving the world and raising him the best way he knew how. Hotch had never failed Jack, not even when it came down to what happened with Haley and Foyet. Hotch could never fail Jack. There was no way Hotch’s mind or heart would ever allow that to happen. And I sure as hell wouldn’t let it happen, anyhow.

Hotch didn’t move for a second, paralyzed by the overwhelming feeling of glee. I reached down and peeled his hands from my hips and crouched down. “Come here, little man, let’s fix your tie.” Jack ran over to me and lifted his chin up towards the ceiling so that I could pop the collar of his tiny suit and fix the tie around his neck. “There you go,” I told him as I fixed the collar back down around the tie and Jack lowered his chin again. He lifted his arms into the air, a silent plea for me to pick him up. He was getting so big, I wasn’t sure how much longer Hotch and I could pick him up, but I was going to fight like hell to make that time last, and I was going to take every chance I got. I lifted him into my arms and propped him on my hip. “Do you like Dad’s costume?” I asked Jack, pointing to Hotch’s Superman shirt. Jack nodded. “Doesn’t he look like Superman?” Jack nodded again.

Hotch put his arms out this time, another silent plea to hold Jack. I handed him over and watched as Hotch adjusted Jack’s tie ever so slightly. “You look like a real FBI agent,” Hotch complimented. “How much candy do you think an agent can get tonight?”

“All of the candy!” Jack laughed.

“All of it?! Woah! That agent must be really good to get all of the candy. Do you think you’re up for it?”

“Yeah!” Jack wriggled himself out of Hotch’s hold and jumped to his feet. Jack started shuffling off to grab his Halloween candy bucket downstairs, then anxiously wait by the door until we would catch up with him. Jessica laughed and joined him.

Hotch turned back to me and grabbed my hips roughly again. “I love you.”

My heart swelled. I smiled at him as I brushed my fingers through his hair. “I think I might love him just a little more than you.”

“You always say that.”

“Yeah, but that was adorable…” I giggled and kissed his cheek. “What am I going to do with two Agent Hotchners running around?”

“It could be three,” he teased, leaning in to kiss my lips. I dodged. “Kiss me.” I smirked and dodged again. He grabbed my chin. “Don’t be a brat,” he growled before kissing me deeply. “I love you,” he breathed against my lips.

“I love you, too.” I kissed him back. When I pulled away again, I said, “And it could be more than three at some point—”

“You’re going to kill me…” he whispered with a smirk. His fingers danced over the whip on my side. “One step at a time, though. I just want to make the trio official first.”

“Dad!” Jack called from downstairs.

I giggled again and pulled myself out of Hotch’s hold. “I love you, but we should go.” I grabbed his hand, then started leading him down towards the front door so that we could take our little man trick-or-treating.

-----

criminal minds family: @peggy1999 @gorgeousdarkangel @alex--awesome--22​ @oceaneblu​ @brithedemonspawn​ @absolutemarveltrash​ @bshelley322​@rousethemouse​ @sunshinepower17​ @weexinling​ @pettttyyyc​

[no-whump-on-main]

Apartment 307 (Elora Series)-3

Finally picked out a title! I was told “Apartment 307) sounded very Stephen King horror-esque and honestly that’s the dream so I’m going for it!

The hurt starts here so be warned.

TWs: Blood, fear of death, cutting/stabbing, graphic descriptions of a knife wound, mentions of stalking, mentions of vomiting

Special thanks to @sableflynn for being my cheerleader and letting me bounce ideas while I wrote this and @quirkykayleetam and @greatandquestionablecontent for title help!

also long chapter today yay

     Elora didn’t stop screaming until she ran out of breath and couldn’t go on a single second longer. The man lingering in the doorway looked incredibly irritated by that point.

     “It’s real early to be hollering like that,” he said, in that same deep, gravelly voice. Elora looked horrified, but he didn’t seem to care.

    “It’s only four in the morning.”

     Tears were starting to form in the corners of Elora’s eyes. She blinked them out just to get them away, despite the shame she felt for letting them flow.

     Clyde caught a glimpse of the fallen droplets, and felt a strange, warm feeling emanating in his gut.

     Elora swallowed and spoke next, her voice wobbly despite her best efforts to stay calm. “I have-I have money. That’s what you want, right? I have money. Plenty. My mom got a big insurance policy when my Dad passed and she put it all in a savings account for me to go to college, but I decided not to go, you can have it, it’s probably a few hundred thous-”

     The man suddenly screamed at her, and she flinched, her shoulders rising up and hugging her ears.

     “SHUT UP!” He shouted, his face going slightly red. Elora immediately shut her mouth, her entire body shaking. She was afraid to die. She couldn’t die yet, she wasn’t ready. She-

     “I don’t want your money,” he seethed. He seemed to be calming down from his initial outburst, which Elora was grateful for.

      “I don’t want your money, I don’t give a shit about it. I’m not gonna kill you either, okay? Just fucking listen. How about some ground rules, yeah?”

     He stepped forward, shutting the bathroom door behind himself. Elora looked on in terror, not wanting him to get any closer to her. A pit quickly formed in her stomach; if he didn’t want money, what did he want? If it was just money, she could be home by the end of the day. But it wasn’t that easy. Of course it wasn’t. 

      Elora sucked in a breath and closed her eyes, terrified as the man walked up until he was right in front of her.

     “Stop,” he warned. She re-opened her eyes and watched him carefully as he sat down on the closed toilet lid.

     “Rule number one,” he started. “Don’t talk back to me. You can speak when you’re spoken to. And I want you to shut the fuck up and listen while I explain this.”

     Elora’s eyes widened. She wanted to scream, to protest, but she knew in her head that she had to be smart. Getting him angry wouldn’t help her. She stayed quiet, chewing on her lip.

     “Rule two. You stay where I put you and keep out of shit that doesn’t belong to you. I’ll give you a hint-nothing here belongs to you. So keep your hands to yourself.”

     He paused, taking a long breath. In the silence, Elora noted that he smelled heavily of cigarettes.

     “Rule three. You can call me sir, if you have to refer to me at all. I’d prefer it if you didn’t.”

     The mere thought of that made Elora feel sick to her stomach.

     “And finally, rule four. You belong to me now, Elora, and the sooner you accept that, the easier this transition is gonna be on you.”

     Elora lost her handle on her emotions entirely. She knew she needed to be rational and level-headed to get out of this, but that last rule made her explode. She didn’t even know how he knew her name.

     “YOU’RE FUCKING CRAZY!” She shouted, bucking wildly against the chains keeping her locked in place in the bathtub. “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME! YOU’RE INSANE!”

     Her heart hammered rapidly in her chest. She was fighting the chains so hard she was already getting out of breath. “LET ME GO YOU CRAZY FUCK!”

     She was so distracted with useless attempts to free herself that she didn’t notice the man had stood up until his hand came down and slapped her roughly across the face. 

     “I told you to shut up,” he seethed. “You will respect me. Understand?”

     Her brow furrowed, filled with rage. “NO! YOU’RE CRAZY, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM! LET ME GO!”

     He silenced Elora with nothing but a look.

     “I do know you, actually. You just don’t know me.”

     Elora’s expression twisted and fell. 

     “You’re lying,” she said through her teeth.

     “Am I? Are you not Elora Lucille Larkin of 673 Seabrook Lane? Born February 18th, 1999? Daughter of Judith and Parker Larkin? Shame what happened to your dad, really. Cancer is a monster. And you were hardly 12, huh? Must have been rough. My condolences.”

     Elora’s jaw fell wide open. How did he-?

     “You like cats, too, don’t you? I have one here. Maybe she’ll help you adjust. And I know you like to work Tuesdays, because you haven’t had one off in months. God knows how long that pattern had been going on before I started watching, too.” He paused. “Are you really that stupid, Elora? I’d think you’d at least recognize my car by now. It’s been looming around practically everywhere you’ve gone since July.”

     Elora wanted to scream, but no noise would come out. Realization hit her like a train and she was completely mortified, frozen in shock. The sedan. Had he been following her? Was she stupid? If it had been following  that long, she would’ve recognized it, right? Since July. That was five months ago.

     But she didn’t recognize it. She could swear the first time she ever saw it was just before he kidnapped her.

     He stood. “But I’m just lying. You know, I must have made all that up.”

     Without another word, he turned and left the bathroom.

     “Don’t hold your breath. I’ll be back in a minute,” he called through the closed door.

     Elora had to force herself not to cry. She sucked in a breath, her chest so tight it was hard to breathe.

     The man was back within what felt like far less than a minute. She barely had time to process what she’d been told before he returned, holding a small potted aloe plant. 

     He walked over to her and she flinched back again, pressing her body against the farthest wall of the bathtub. He ignored her fearful cower, placing the plant down on the edge of the tub.

     “Grow it,” he commanded. His voice boomed through the small room.

     Elora’s brow furrowed with confusion, for a moment, before that emotion turned into realization, and then finally, strong-willed defiance.

     “What?” Her tone sounded genuinely puzzled, though it was just a ruse.

     “Grow the plant,” he repeated, his voice slightly angrier.

     Elora inhaled, having to clench her fists to keep her voice from wavering. 

     “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can’t just-”

     “Shut up,” he growled. “I know who you are and what you can do. Or have you forgotten?

     Shit.

     She abandoned the act, but didn’t give up on her adamant refusal.

     “No,” she told him. “You don’t tell me what to do, you sick fuck!”

     The man laughed again, breathy chuckles that made the hair on her arms stick up. “Oh, but I do. Don’t make me ask you again. Grow the goddamn aloe. I know you can.”

     This time, Elora didn’t reply. Instead, she spat at him. She was forced to sit in the bathtub while he stood, so she couldn’t get him in the face, but she did successfully aim for his hand. While not as bad as a face shot, it was still gross.

     He cursed and wiped his hand off on his pants, storming out of the bathroom. Elora almost smiled, pleased with herself.

     He was so angry that he didn’t bother closing the bathroom door. He turned on the lights in another room, and it was just bright enough for her to make out a kitchen and living room. And the front door, all the way back. If she could just get there-

     Soon. She would. It was a when, not an if. Soon.

     He ducked out of her sight for a good thirty seconds, leaving Elora to look around the small frame of view she had. She could tell it was an apartment, as everything was so compact, it had to be. It looked like a college kid’s apartment at that; it was sparsely decorated and filthy, with random trash on the floor and a thick coat of dust covering everything she could see.

     When he reappeared, the first thing she noticed was that he was holding a knife. It was huge-it looked like a butcher knife. Just the blade itself was easily the size of her forearm and looked sharpened. She swallowed. He didn’t say anything, just stormed towards her. He’s going to use it. He’s going to-

     “Okay, okay, I’ll grow the fucking p-”

     The man was deaf to her offer. It quickly devolved into a desperate plea.

     “Please, I’ll grow the fucking plant, stop-STOPSTOPSTOP YOU’RE CRAZY!” 

     She started to scream before he even hurt her, dread and anticipation and knowingness filling her as he ignored her begging.

     She couldn’t have anticipated the pain that came next. She knew it would hurt, but nothing in her life had ever been so painful. She felt every moment of her skin splitting apart as the blade slammed down against her right thigh, layers of her body just separating all at once. Her vision whitened for several seconds as her screams pierced even her own ears, the sharp sound agonizing as it reverberated in the room. Even Clyde winced at the noise, wondering if he had done too much too soon.

     No, she deserved it. I told her to follow instructions.

     Elora didn’t stop screaming for almost a full minute. Her chest heaved once she finished, gasping for air. The pain in her thigh was both sharp and throbbing, and constant. She realized she had wrenched her eyes shut in anticipation of receiving the wound, and part of her was scared to open them again and look at the damage.

     She opened just one eye at first, but the other quickly followed as she stared on in shock. The blade had easily slit her work khakis open, hardly phased by the barrier of the material.

     The cut looked at least  an inch wide, with little yellow bubbles lining the sides and making way for something that was smooth and reddish purple to be just barely visible in the bottom. Blood was gushing from it steadily, making it hard to tell too much about the true extent of it. She began to panic as the gravity of the situation hit her. Tears poured down her face as she turned her head and looked up at the man, fear constricting her chest. He was holding the now-bloodied knife by his side.

     “I- it-it’s bleeding,” she stammered out, stating the obvious. “It’s bleeding, I-please! Please, I-that’s a lot of b-blood, that’s bad, I need h-help! Please, I don’t want to-I don’t want to um-”

     Die. She doesn’t want to die. She’s scared.

     A choked sob tore from her throat as she found herself staring down at the wound again.

     “You’re fine,” the man said flatly.

     “NO! No, please, I need-”

     He sighed and left the bathroom like a petulant child.

     Elora sobbed in fear, looking at the puddle of blood that was already forming beneath her leg. 

     The man came back holding a small box and a hand towel. He tossed them both at Elora, careless of her inability to catch them. The corner of the box landed directly on top of the cut and she groaned, her teeth clenched as tears spilled from her eyes.

     He approached again, holding a small key. She looked on in horror as he undid the handcuffs, letting her right hand free but leaving her left still in one cuff, with just a small amount of give on the chain.

     Elora looked terrified. “What? I-”

     “I know you sew for fun,” he said casually, shrugging. “You make all sorts of stuffed animals, right, and donate ‘em? What a Mother Theresa you are. Anywho, this can’t be much different than patching up a tear in a teddy.”

     Her mouth dropped open in shock. She was acutely aware of the feeling of warmth steadily dripping down her thigh.

     He gave her an angry look.

     “Fix it,” he growled, and left.

     As soon as the door closed, Elora let out a loud sob, covering her mouth with her free hand. No. She can’t. Needles and threads for stitching people are different than ones for sewing, she can’t just do a stitch like she’s sewing fabric. She doesn’t know what to do.

     She interrupted her racing thoughts by looking down at the bloody gash. She had to. It was bleeding badly and she needed it to stop.

     Shakily, she took the towel he threw her and placed it over the wound, trying to soak up some blood so she could at least see what she was working with. The towel was originally tan, but a spot that was a deep shade of reddish brown formed in the middle of it within seconds of her laying over the wound.

     Inhaling deeply, she opened the sewing kit next. It was nothing fancy, just some needles, a seam ripper, some tiny scissors, and small spools of thread. She plucked the spool of white thread and the smallest needle in the box.

     Her hands were so shaky it was difficult to thread the needle. Come on. Come on, just-just-thread, come on-

     She finally got the thread through the eye of the needle. This is bad. It’s probably old, she’s going to get an infection, she could die.

     But there wasn’t another choice. She tied a tiny knot in the two loose ends of the thread and took a deep breath. She held the two sides of the wound together with her left hand, which hardly had enough chain to reach, and gripped the needle with her right.

     She desperately wanted for there to be a way out, but there wasn’t. She was too shaken and too terrified to try any sort of magical healing or painkiller. God knew she would fuck it up and make things worse for herself in the frazzled state she was in.

     Biting her tongue, she moved the blood-soaked rag back and stuck the needle through her skin on the far end of her cut.

     She wailed as soon as it punctured through, the original pain from the wound just amplifying with the sharp prick of the needle piercing through and the uncomfortable tugging of the thread pulling across her skin. She still needed to go back through the other side.

     She bit back her scream this time. He didn’t need to hear it. She saw that glint in his eye when he stabbed her; she knew he liked that she was hurt. She wouldn’t give him any more satisfaction.

     In, and out.

     It hurt so badly, she didn’t know if she could keep herself quiet.

     In, and out.

     She was hardly making any progress. She kept the stitches close together, desperate to keep it closed tightly so she wouldn’t have to do this again.

     In, and out.

     Tears spilled down her cheeks so quickly she could feel little pools forming on her chest.

     In, and out.

     She wondered if anyone even knew she was gone yet. Probably not; this was only the first night. Only the first night, and she got fucking stabbed. What else was going to happen to her?

     In, and out.

     Mom will figure out something is wrong by Sunday at the latest.

     In, and out.

     The agony started to get so bad that her vision spotted.

     Dima will help Mom find her. They’ll find her, right? The police will find her soon. All she needed to do right now was make sure she doesn’t bleed out and then someone will find her soon. They have to.

     In, and out.

     This stuff only ever happened in movies. Maybe it was just a nightmare. Maybe she was going to wake up nice and warm in bed in the morning with her thigh perfectly intact.

     In, and out.

     Maybe it was all a nightmare.

     In, and out.

     It hurt.

     In, and out.

     It hurt a lot.

    In, and out.

     She wanted to puke. The pain was so bad it was hard to breathe.

     She went on and on until the wound was completely stitched. It was hard to count, but she was pretty sure it was thirty seven. Thirty seven tiny stitches. She could have done half of that and still closed it up, but she was terrified of her handiwork not being tight enough or coming apart. Once she did a full row up, she did another back down, forcing herself to double up to keep it secure despite the pain. Relief flooded her as she finally got back to where she started and tied off the remaining thread with a knot.

     She wanted to try to pick the lock on the handcuffs with the sewing tools, but the thought was distant in her mind. Pain danced around and ignited her nerves constantly now that there was thread in her leg that wasn’t meant to be there. It looked bad already; her skin was red with irritation and every point where the needle had gone through her skin was throbbing. The pain was dizzying.

     She couldn’t hold on any longer. With a shudder, she fell back against the wall of the bathtub, her world going black. 

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