#current routine is just scrunching it and letting it air dry but that means the waves drop out after a few hours

[nopoodles]

Oh hey, hi, I'm a qualified hair stylist and I have curly hair and this is my 10-minutes-or-less trick for post-shower as long as you're okay going out with wet/damp hair.

Step 1: leave in conditioner. It can be hard to find a good one, even harder to recommend a good one because I can't actually see and feel your hair, but me (type 3 curls) and my MIL (2a waves) both like the "noughty intensive care" leave in conditioner (I'm not currently using that, but it is my go to for people to try still).

Amount of product you want to use: if you took all your hair into a ponytail, the circumference of that ponytail would be the size of the product you wanna use. If in doubt, go for about a 10p (GBP) sized amount - or like squeeze it down the length of your index finger (use less if you're not sure because you can always add more if it's not enough).

To apply: You wanna rub it between your hands and then smooth it over your dripping wet hair, maybe brush it through if that works for you, or don't if it's not the vibe. Your hair should feel slippery or, if you wring it like a wet towel, just a little product should appear.

Step 2: Hold. A hold can be a gel or a mousse. I was/am using the ecoeco gel because it has good hold but the trade off is that it takes about a thousand years to dry. So I'm currently using Four Curls mousse and I'm not sure how I feel about it except that it does hold and it does dry faster (but it also leaves a weird black smudge on my microfibre towel, which you don't need to use but I do). If you're gonna use a hair dryer you want to use a hold-product that's a bit sturdier to avoid frizz, but if you're happy to air dry then you have more room to manoeuvre.

Amount of product: this varies a little more but, again the ponytail/start with 10p works as a base to build from.

To apply: You want to smooth this over the hair again but don't brush it through. (Unless you're doing brush styling but that takes TIME). Then scrunch the water out with few but tight scrunches.

Step 3: Heat (optional). So, I'll admit my own personal 10-minutes-or-less routine does actually take a few hours between washed and done because it takes a few hours for my hair to air dry, but I don't mind going places with wet hair. If you need or want to use a hairdryer, however, it's all about technique.

Even if you don't fully dry your hair, it can take the edge of the wet off, if you get my meaning. I had an author event to go to and I was gonna do my hair the previous day and then life happened so I didn't and I didn't wanna have wet hair for the event (because everyone has a line somewhere) so i hover diffused the majority of the wet off (about 80%, which is when a stylist in a salon will start doing heat styling if they're doing that), and let it dry the rest of the way on its own. It did, however, take 40 minutes just to get to that 80% and my arms hurt a lot after, which was a pain because I had to lug books around but I digress.

If you have a diffuser: hover diffusing is the simplest method. Stick your diffuser on and then "hover" the hair dryer around your hair so it doesn't get too disturbed. Get it to about 80% and you either leave it there or you can "scoop diffuser", which is where you scoop the hair (in sections) into the diffuser bowl and hold it there for a few seconds at a time.

If you DONT have a diffuser: (get one) you can use a sieve or colander to diffuse the heat and air to avoid frizz. (Or, not recommended but I did one time at a hotel, use my hand as a diffuser which meant scooping the hair into my fist and drying that, which got hot fast and I would say steer clear of that unless it's utterly necessary - like you're about to go sign the legally binding wedding papers and you feel like a t-shirt and jeans is fine but wet hair pips it into inappropriate).

Miscellaneous tips: trying stuff out is the best way to figure out what works for you (sounds obvious but people do get worried about doing hair "wrong" so it's worth putting it out there).

If there's something magic your hair dresser uses, you can usually get either it or a good dupe.

My all-out stellar hair (for being a wedding guest n shit) involves clips and sparkle gel so this is my bare bones day-to-day suggestions.

Depending on how long you want the style to last, you can wrangle for more or less hold. My goal is a 5+days hold because it takes 4+ hours for my hair to dry and that's a long time. Plus I'm lucky enough to not need to wash it more often (unlike, say my wife who starts looking like a greasy weasel much faster).

I appreciate all of the tutorials about making wavy/curly hair gorgeous splendid amazing in only 45 minutes, but I wish there were more tutorials on making it sufficiently okay to go outside in 10 minutes or less.

[kikis-writing-world]

hi so I’m going to break up with my boyfriend soon, could I get some soft thoughts on a character of your choice comforting a reader who’s breaking up with their S/O?? maybe.. the Pedro character has feeling for reader,,?

Hi Anon, I’m sorry you’re going through that. it’s not an easy thing to deal with, even when you know it’s coming. I wrote something for you, and it turned a little bit fluffy - which I hope is okay. It’s less sad and more sappy/cutesy, so I hope it comforts you as you work through this. Some cheesy Marcus Pike to help you out.

You’d been trying to hide it, but you’d been zoning out all day. You couldn’t help it, knowing what was coming. The end of a relationship was always hard, even when you knew it was time. The connection, the camaraderie, and even as awful as it sounded to say, the routine were all a part of your life and for it all to change… it just sucked.

Of course Marcus picked up on it. He was a damn FBI agent and one of your closest friends. Of course he realized you were zoning out and not paying attention.

“Are you gonna tell me, or do I have to crack open a cold, hard can of tough love?” He teased, although there was no charming glint in his eyes, just worry.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You dismissed automatically, even though you knew it wouldn’t be so easy.

“Last chance.” Marcus warned, miming pulling an invisible can out from behind him, giving it a shake and listening to the carbonation.

“What is that?” You laughed.

“It’s a can of tough love. Don’t make me open it.” He warned with a grin.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re avoiding the issue.”

“I am not-”

He cut you off, opening the imaginary can completely with an over-the-top sound effect.

“I’m breaking up with Dylan!” You blurted out before he could say anything.

His grin fell, as did his hands. “What? Why? What’s wrong?” He started to verbalize the millions of questions running through his head.

“It’s just… time.” You sighed, shrugging. How do you explain to someone that it’s just not there anymore?

“Did something happen?” He asked, resting his hand on your knee.

“No, nothing.” You shook your head. There hadn’t been any kind of dramatic event that signified the ending of the relationship. It was just dead. “It’s just not there anymore.”

Marcus nodded in understanding. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault.” You scoffed. “You didn’t kill the spark.”

“I know, I just-” He sighed, scrunching his lips to the side as he thought. “It sucks. You think you’re with someone for the long haul and then… you’re not.”

“Yeah.” You agreed. You’d known for a while Dylan hadn’t been “the long haul” but you knew Marcus was speaking from his own experiences. “It’s just been weighing on my mind. I don’t want to do it, but I have to bite the bullet. If it’s over, it’s over, right? I shouldn’t let it drag on.”

“Right.” Marcus agreed, his thumb brushing the inside of your knee comfortingly. “It’s better to pull off the Band-Aid now.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling myself.” You chuckled sadly before dropping your head into your hands. “Fuck I hate this. Can’t we go back to middle school when you could send your best friend to do it for you? Break up with someone by slipping a note inside their locker?”

Marcus chuckled, sliding closer on the couch so he could rub your back. “I know. Life was easier then. When relationships meant holding hands at lunch or sneaking a kiss behind the trees at recess. Now it’s merging bank accounts and moving in together and hiding your feelings over the fear of ruining great friendships.”

You looked up at him, seeing his face turning red. “Marcus Pike has entered the chat.” You teased. “Got something on your mind too?”

His hand fell from your back as he scooted away to put a bit more space between you. “No. No, that was… I was just saying, like… figuratively.” He stuttered. “That shit didn’t matter in middle school.”

“Right.” You quirked an eyebrow at him in disbelief.

“That’s all.” He stuck to his guns, although he wasn’t making eye contact with you.

You couldn’t help it, leaning forward and picking up an imaginary can. You shook it and held it to your ear.

“Tough love? Really? You’re stealing my move?” Marcus huffed, crossing his arms although a small grin had returned to his face.

“What, this?” You motioned to the imaginary can. “No, this is a can of Crystal Pepsi, wondering if I’m going to have to go back to 80’s technology to get the truth out of you.” You laughed.

Marcus joined in the laughter, although he threw his hands in the air. “What does that even mean?”

You got off the couch, heading to your small in-home desk, where you knew there was a notepad and pens. You grabbed them, bringing them back to the couch. Marcus stared at you in confusion.

“You know my secret. Tell me yours.” It wasn’t a question, it was a demand even if you were saying it nicely.

“With these?” He questioned, holding up the pen and paper.

“Like middle school.” You nodded.

Marcus shook his head and sighed, but started writing. You tried not to look, to give him the privacy to write out his thoughts, but you wanted to know. You had a guess, and that guess had your mouth running dry. You honestly weren’t sure if you wanted to be right or not. It could change everything, and were you ready when you were just about to get out of your current relationship-

The thoughts were brought to a halt when the small triangle of paper was pushed into your hand. You looked down at it then back up at Marcus, impressed he had managed to fold it almost perfectly for those silly middle school notes.

“Not the first note I’ve passed.” He shrugged bashfully, back to avoiding eye contact with you.

You slipped the paper open, careful not to rip it apart. It took you a moment, not quite remembering the folding patterns.

Yes/No

I like you but didn’t say anything because you were with Dylan. Also you’re my friend and I cherish that. But maybe we can go to dinner sometime, not as friends? As a date?

You looked up at him, seeing he was watching you read the note. You held your hand out for the pen, which he handed you. You circled the “yes” and handed it back to him, watching him light up as he saw it.

“I do have some conditions though.” You warned.

“Of course.” He nodded, trying to be serious even though he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

“I need to figure things out with Dylan first. I don’t want anything to happen between us until then.”

“Absolutely.” He agreed.

“Second, you clean up that can of tough love you spilled all over my carpet.” You joked. Marcus laughed and you joined in, feeling the tension between you dissipate.

“I’ll pay for the cleaning.”

“That works.”

[hood-ex]

Could you do a fic where Dick is sick and vomiting and Jason gets stuck taking care of him and he is reluctant but also really good at it?

Read on AO3

Jason looked outside the window and scowled at the fresh blanket of snow that was piled up outside the cabin. He was so fucking tired of waking up in Norway. It was like living in a non-stop snow wonderland that stretched on for miles and miles around the forest. Jason was mostly miffed because it covered up the pathway he had cleared yesterday for Dick’s drive to the grocery store. 

The other thing Jason was annoyed about—other than how much of a pain in the ass it was to try and go anywhere in this kind of weather—was the fact that it was unbearably cold. The cabin that Bruce had gotten for them had a crappy heater that barely did its job. It left a persistent chill inside the cabin that made Jason wake up a lot earlier than usual. His ice-cold toes usually roused him awake, and after he took a hot shower, he always bundled up and started a fire in the fireplace. 

The fire he had already started this morning was roaring away and slowly spreading heat throughout the house. Jason turned away from the window and stepped in front of the flames, holding his hands near the fire to warm them. 

It was about that time that Jason heard Dick rustling around in his bedroom, finally awake for the day. Jason wouldn’t admit it, but ever since they’d been forced to stay in this cabin, he’d actually preferred Dick’s company rather than being stuck with his own thoughts. It had been a long time since he’d lived with someone else, and he’d come to find some comfort in the morning routine that he and Dick had fallen into. 

Jason would wake up and shower first, start the fire, and make them cups of tea. Dick would wake up a little later since he liked to shower at night, and then he would make them both breakfast. After they cleaned up their dishes, they would usually put on their heavy coats and boots before going outside to explore the area. It was one of their only options to get in some exercise in their current situation. After they got back, they would rekindle the fire and sit by it to warm up. Jason would read his book while Dick would slowly strum his guitar, trying to relearn many of the songs he hadn’t played since he was still living at the manor. 

The consistency was nice if a little boring at times. But, hey, it was all just temporary. As soon as they got the message from Bruce that it was safe for them to go back home, they would kiss their routine goodbye and go back to their normal lives.

Jason turned away from the fire at the sound of Dick’s door opening. He yelled out his usual, “About time, Sleeping Beauty. I’m starving.”

He turned towards the hallway just in time to see Dick stumble into the bathroom, the door slamming behind him. Jason barely had time to register what was happening before he heard Dick retching into the toilet. It wasn’t just a one and done ordeal either. He heard Dick heave and gag multiple times before the toilet was flushed. 

“You have got to be kidding me,” Jason muttered under his breath. “You good?” he called out loudly, not wanting to get anywhere near the bathroom and all its smells. 

“No,” Dick said, voice sounding shaky even though it was muffled by the door. He only managed to get out, “I’m gonna—” before throwing up again. 

There was a lot more going on in there than just throwing up. Jason crinkled his nose and turned on the TV to drown out all the sounds. The TV, a small flat screen that looked like the only newly updated appliance in the entire cabin, started playing some Norwegian show called Dag. Jason kept an eye on it while he sunk down onto the arm of the couch with a heavy sigh. 

Dick getting sick all of a sudden was just their shitty luck. Of course it would happen when Jason was the only one around to take care of him. He wasn’t sure how Dick had even gotten sick in the first place. They were pretty isolated and hadn’t been around other people except for when they went to the grocery store. 

The grocery store… which Dick had just gone to… yesterday.

Fuck. 

Jason heard Dick start dry heaving, and he shuddered in both sympathy and disgust. He really wasn’t feeling all that hungry anymore now, and he knew Dick definitely wouldn’t be eating anything for a few hours at least.  

Since food was out of the question, Jason tried to think of anything he had on hand that would make Dick feel better. The problem was that they really hadn’t come here with much other than clothes, some electronics, weapons, and a first aid kit. Jason knew for a fact that there wasn’t a thermometer in the first aid kid, and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t find a random hot water bottle or heating pad lying around the cabin. 

He was running through his options when the bathroom door finally opened up, revealing Dick in nothing but his black sweatpants. Jason looked him over from head to toe, and he frowned when he noticed that Dick’s arms were loosely crossed over his stomach. He also looked a lot paler than normal. Kind of clammy. His arms were shaking slightly like he was cold. Jason wasn’t sure if that was because he had a fever or if it was because the cabin was still a little frosty from the morning air. 

“It’s a stomach bug,” Dick said like he was delivering some kind of progress report. “‘M not feeling too good.” 

Yeah, no shit, Jason thought.

“C’mere and let me check your head,” he demanded, beckoning Dick forward with a finger. “And try not to fuckin breathe on me. The last thing we need is both of us getting sick.”

Dick must have been feeling pretty bad because he didn’t bother responding with one of his normal quips. He just nodded his head and dragged his feet forward until he was only a foot away. 

Jason placed the back of his hand against Dick’s forehead and watched how Dick’s eyes fluttered at the temperature differences between their skin. He tried to be thorough in his examination by cupping both of Dick’s cheeks, feeling his forehead again, and then feeling his cheeks one last time. The skin underneath was hot. Too hot. Fever level kind of hot. 

“Congrats,” Jason said, dropping his hands. “You’ve won yourself a fever, a shitty stomach, and a day of bed rest.” 

“I—fuck!” 

One second Dick was standing in front of him, and the next, he was back in the bathroom throwing up again. This time the door was wide open. Jason hurried over and used his foot to kick it closed. 

This became a pattern over the next two hours. At first, Dick kept going to the bathroom to throw up. The more he did it, the weaker and more uncomfortable he got. Jason quickly noticed this after Dick had left the bathroom door wide open once again. He’d seen Dick’s arms shaking as he tried to brace himself against the toilet, and it was at that point that Jason knew he had to make this easier for Dick somehow. 

He ended up moving the couch further away from the fireplace since the last thing Dick needed right now was to overheat his body. He did grab one of Dick’s hoodies though just because Dick wasn’t even wearing a shirt and because the cabin was colder than the average home. He also got Dick’s pillow from his bedroom and put it on the couch since it would be way more comfortable than the couch’s decorative pillows. The last thing he dragged in next to the couch was the big trash can from the kitchen so Dick could throw up in it. 

“Hey, Barf Wonder, your sickbed awaits,” Jason said as soon as Dick emerged from the bathroom looking even more clammy and wrung out than before. 

Dick eyed the trash can next to the couch, looking relieved. He quickly pulled on the light blue hoodie that Jason tossed to him, and then he eased himself down onto the couch in a curled up position. It made him look smaller than usual. More… fragile. 

“Thirsty,” Dick mumbled with his eyes closed. “Need to stay hydrated.”

“I know,” Jason sighed, scratching the back of his head. “I’ll get you some ice to suck on if you don’t throw up in the next hour.”

Dick scrunched up his face, clearly unhappy about that.

“You feeling any better?” Jason asked while heading towards the closet for his big coat, gloves, boots, and hat. He needed to go chop some more firewood up and put it away to dry. Might as well do something useful while Dick wasted away on the couch for the rest of the day. 

Dick hummed and signed, “Sort of,” with his hands. 

Jason slid his red beanie over his head, hoping it didn’t fuck up his hair too much. “Done throwing up?”

“No sé,” Dick yawned. “Hopefully.”

“Got any more diarrhea cha, cha, cha?” Jason smirked. 

Dick gave him an unimpressed look. “Beavis and Butt-Head? Really?” 

“You’re just lucky I wasn’t yelling, ‘Mama mia, papa pia, Dickie’s gotta diarrhea!’ while you were running around,” Jason said, shoulders shaking with laughter at the idea of it. He ended up laughing so hard that he nearly fell into the closet. He could tell Dick was trying not to laugh with him, probably not wanting to give him the satisfaction. 

“You’re the fuckin worst,” Dick said instead. He shoved his face into his pillow, and Jason just knew he was smiling into it. 

“Hey! I get points for all of this!” Jason said while gesticulating from Dick to the bathroom. “And you owe me for taking care of your sick ass!” 

“Owe you what? A bottle of Mr. Clean?” Dick asked once his face wasn’t mashed into his pillow anymore. His eyebrows were all screwed up from it, and because Jason was the best brother in the whole world, he was just going to let Dick live with it. 

Jason couldn’t resist when he said, “You mean you're just gonna hand Lex Luthor over to me on a silver platter?” 

This time Dick barked out a laugh before he could cover it up, and Jason wouldn’t admit it, but it was nice to see Dick feeling good enough to laugh like that. It felt even better to have proof that he was funny and that Dick couldn’t deny it in front of anyone from now on. 

Jason was going to make it very clear that what happened in the cabin in Norway definitely wasn’t going to stay in the cabin in Norway.

Dick would just have to deal with it. 

[ellemcu]

I don't want to hurt you ( Bucky X hydra reader

Chapter 9

Words 1160

******

You jolted awake breathless, your eyes darting around the room, your chest heaving .

You choked on air as your lungs refused to breathe in. You slowly lifted your light hands to your chest, desperately trying to breathe, scrunching up the sweater you had woken up in. A single tear rolled down your cheek as you were on the edge of fainting. Your poor body reacting to your awful nightmare, turning on her survival mode. Your eyes couldn't focus on anything in the room and the only thing that you could hear was your loud and quick heartbeat, blood flowing towards your lungs only to find that there’s no oxygen. A small whimper escaped your lips while your mind was reliving your nightmare, forcing yourself to keep your eyes open to not go back to that awful place.

You let out a quiet sob, so quiet it made no sound, as you finally gave up.

“Y/n" a loud voice in your head spoke, you recognized that voice immediately, FRIDAY. “Y/n, please” you shifted on the floor, clawing at your neck. “Y/n listen to me.” the AI spoke with a slightly urgent tone. “Breathe in with me. “ In the background your  a small vent  and air burst out of it. " Do it with me, please miss Y/n.” You forced your eyes open and you opened your dry mouth. “Miss Y/n I’m going to need you to do it now, your body is going into shock.” the AI spoke with a slightly begging tone. You could hear “her vents” let in and out air but you were unable to do the same.

You suddenly felt a tingly sensation in your brain as you gasped for air. Something in your brain clicked and you inhaled sharply and then coughed roughly. It went on like this for a few minutes until you finally reached a panting pace.

You sighed heavily, confused for all that had happened. After a few minutes of silence you finally spoke up. “Friday, how did you do that?” The AI stayed silent for a couple of seconds before answering back. “ I’m sorry miss Y/n I really didn’t mean to invade any of your privacy but as you were sleeping you were showing clear signs of distress so I scanned your body immediately, as a safety protocol, and thankfully you woke up although I think your dream was too real for your mind to comprehend that you had woken up. On your file it says you can read minds and so, although with great difficulty, I entered your mind, that's how you could hear me. I had called you several times out loud but you gave no sign of hearing me. I must say you have a very intricate mind.” you exhaled deeply, still processing everything. “Thank you Friday.” you breathed out. “No problem, Miss Y/n” she answered sweetly. “Do you want me to study those symptoms more accurately, maybe I could help you or should I alert Agent Barnes?” she asked. You thought for a moment before replying “No thanks Friday, please don’t disturb agent Barnes. Besides I’m sure it won’t happen again.” you lied. Of course they were going to happen again, they’ve been happening all your life, sometimes they’re easier and you catch your breath after a few minutes, others are a bit rougher, they knock you out and bring you back to that dreaded darkness. But of course things aren’t going to change are they? So, you either face them alone or tell someone and they’ll use it against you or worse, they’ll give you more things to have nightmares about.

You shuddered at the thought of telling someone your thoughts as you lied on the floor. “What time is it?” you asked friday quickly. “It is currently 2.03 am.” she answered back. You contemplated for a while about what you should do and sleep was certainly not one of them. You ended up deciding to train. Your master would always train you at this time of day for several hours, you had accustomed to this routine and it didn’t seem that bad especially because training was all you ever did, well except for killing. That’s what you are: a trained, killing machine. Nothing more. Nothing less

“Friday, is there by any chance an empty gym that no one ever uses that I could use?” you questioned trying to not sound too suspicious (P.S. failing terribly), noticing the hoodie you were wearing, distinctly remembering that you had fallen asleep in your sports bra. “Yes the gym on level -3 is empty” the AI spoke calmly. “Um… FRIDAY- whose is this?” you mumbled, pinching the sweater. “That sweater is Natasha Romanoff’s. She had left it here for you and while you were asleep your body temperature dropped so I slid it on you. 

You stood up slowly, rubbing your eyes lightly. “Are there any shoes I could use?” you asked, not having any other choice. “On your right, there’s a walk-in closet, you should find some shoes there.” she spoke while opening the shudders, letting the moonlight shine inside the room.

You hesitantly turned to your right, finding a small handle on the wall. You pushed it down and a door opened. The biggest wardrobe you had ever seen was displayed in front of you, well not that you had seen many.  You gazed at all of the shirts and hoodies that had been neatly folded and placed in drawers. You quickly noticed a low shelf which held different type of shoes. You knew none of the brands but you spotted immediately a pair of neon yellow shoes with a black sole and black laces. They were so pretty, not really your type because of how flashy they were but you couldn't deny how comfortable they looked. They looked perfect for training so you picked them up and slipped them on. 

You quietly walked out of the closet after having put on a pair of black leggings you had found in a drawer, which were slightly baggy, and an oversized grey hoodie because you didn't wanna ruin the one Friday had put on you.

The corridor lights flickered on as you lightly paced across it, not making a sound. " Friday, what time is it?" You whispered, hoping that Friday had heard you. " It is currently 2:34 am miss Y/l/n" she answered back, whispering too.

It was slightly inconvenient but you would have to make do. You decided to do what you would do at HYDRA in 36 intense hours, non stop, in just 5 hours.

You waited patiently for the elevator and walked in it once the metal doors had slid open, clicking the -3 button. " Friday, you 100% that no one ever uses this gym and that everyone's asleep?" You gulped. " Positive" she whispered as the metal doors slid closed.

*****

Hii sorry it's taking so long In truly sorry, my phone broke so I've been writing everything on paper and it takes so much time to copy everything from paper onto the computer. Tell me what you think!! Hope you like it :)

Elle

[thecleverdame]

The Oath - 6

Parings: Dark!Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader

Story Master List

Summary: After an unsuccessful escape attempt, the reader finds herself taken as a spoil of war. She ends up in the bed of a ruthless Alpha, the son of John Winchester, leader of the kingdom of Gilead. She struggles to conceal her true identity and navigate a society where being an Omega means nothing more than serving at the pleasure of powerful men.

Warnings: non-con, sexual assault, rape, attempted suicide, sexual slavery, branding, torture, ownership, voyeurism, anal play, smut, violence, and murder.

Sam is dark in this story. If any of the warnings are triggers for you, I would suggest skipping this one. Please read and heed all the warnings.

Beta: ilikaicalie

Support my Patreon and get access to exclusive stories.  CLICK HERE

-

Days turn into weeks, and weeks into a month. Time passes and you fall into a rhythm that’s at the very least predictable. Your situation is not as terrifying when you know what’s coming next. Days are spent on the trail, the entire regiment moving south toward the border of Gilead and Argos. It’s slow-moving. You’re not sure how far you travel each day but it can’t be more than a dozen miles, give or take. The snow slows everything, the men freeze and the carts and carriages are continually stuck, having to be dug out again and again. 

The nights are just as routine. Sam’s expectations are clear and you find it’s easier and easier to give yourself to him. Opening your legs and closing your eyes as he takes pleasure for himself, forcing that same pleasure onto you even when you beg him to stop. 

You’ve grown emotionally numb to all of it. Compartmentalizing feelings is a coping skill you learned as a child, and you put this skillset to use as your time with the Winchesters goes on.  

Being with Sam brings an innate sense of safety. You’re his, everyone knows it, there’s not a man in the regiment that would entertain the thought of laying a hand on you. While he’s certainly not gentle, he does seem to take pride in making sure you always get what you need, before and after he’s had his way with you. His main concern is keeping you in pristine condition.

You’ve become accustomed to a certain level of care as this mighty caravan moves through the countryside. 

It’s the same routine each night. As soon as the tents are erected, the servants pour you a bath, wash your skin and hair. You’re served sweet fruits before dinner and there’s always plenty of wine and other libations at the ready. By the time the Winchester brothers arrive for the evening meal, you’re typically well into this choreographed nightly ritual. 

Tonight they’re nowhere to be found. You’re alone as the night wears on. Dinner is served and you eat alone, then sit by the fire looking around at the vast array of belongings. They carry a whole life with them on the road. 

There’s a map spread out over the table that is reset daily by the cartographer, whose sole job is to ensure the troop’s movements are accurately represented. You study the markers, sorting out who’s who. John Winchester's men are everywhere, spread far and wide across the entire continent. You didn’t realize they had conquered so extensively. News from distant lands had stopped coming in nearly a year ago. You knew it was bad but you had no clue the scope of their domination. 

Half the map is swathed in red, indicating they’ve successfully overtaken each area. You search from top to bottom until you find your family’s colors, the blue and red of the all too familiar crest. Your father is still fighting, and it looks as if he’s joined up with several different kingdoms. They’re amassing to the south, it must be where Sam and Dean are headed. 

Your heart skips a beat. Up until this point you’ve done a good job keeping thoughts of your family at bay. You do everything within your power to avoid letting the memories of your former home whirl to life, it’s too painful. But this sparks something, an inkling stirring in the back of your brain. A meager seed of hope. 

Sam, Dean and the soldiers are heading right for your father’s army. Your hands shake, trembling with a surging anxiety. What this means, you have no idea. You know the chance of ever seeing your father, uncle or sisters again is nearly nonexistent. And even if by some miracle you were able to get to him, it’s unlikely you’d be welcomed back into the fold. You’ve been defiled by a Winchester. How could anyone overlook the shame you would bring on every member of the royal family? 

Turning attention back to the map, you trail a finger up the winding blue line of the Longtree River, moving further and further north until you find your current location. 

A solid blue marker is labeled as Sam and Dean and to the west is a massive legion of men under their father’s crest. John Winchester. It looks like you may get the chance to meet the man who started all this death and destruction. There are smaller pockets of resistance outlying around the edges and you lean in closer to get a better look. 

“What are you doing?” Sam booms, standing just inside the tent. 

“I was just,” you back away from the table as the Alpha makes a beeline for you. “I’m sorry I was just looking. I-” Your voice is cut off as his hand wraps around your neck, squeezing tight. 

“What were you looking for?” he hisses, pushing you backward, his gripping tightening. You sputter, gasping for air and pulling at his hand with your one working arm. 

“P-please,” you rasp, mouth gaping open like a fish on dry land. “I-I-”

“What?” His jaw is tight, anger brimming in his eyes. You’ve yet to see this side of him, but now you understand the rumors. Another minute of this and he’ll squeeze the very life right out of you. 

“Huhh,” you make a strangled sound, eyes rolling back in your skull as he lets go, gripping your jaw instead, forcing you to look at him. “I-I was just l-looking at the figures. I watched the man set them up,” you whisper. “I wondered what they were.” Tears fall down your cheeks as you shake in terror. 

You’ve become complacent. Perhaps this is the reminder you needed. Sam Winchester is a murderer and a tyrant. And he’ll kill you just as easily as fuck you. 

“What are they?” he asks, face inches away, his nose scrunching in anger. “Tell me, what did you find Omega?”

“I don’t know!” You cry out the first of many lies in hopes of abating his wrath. You search your brain, a simple village girl wouldn’t know how to read the labels on the map, much less battle markers. “I was just looking at the figurines and the drawings on the paper. I’m sorry if I saw something I shouldn’t have!” 

“This is not for you!” He turns your head toward the table, pointing with his other hand. “You need to know your place. You don’t see. You don’t hear. You just are. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” you nod frantically. 

His anger is logical. This information is invaluable. If a person wanted to subvert the Winchester cause this map would do the most damage. If you were in fact a spy, this would be the holy grail of information. You should have been more careful. 

“I didn’t know. I’ll do better, Alpha.” He lets you go and you slink backward, holding your throat. 

“I don’t give second warnings. Tread carefully, Omega.”

“I will, I promise.” You watch as he pours himself a drink and takes a seat at the table as if the whole encounter has drained him. Legs give way as you sink to the floor. Tomorrow there will likely be a handprint in black and blue across your throat. You’ve felt his strength before, but this is a wake-up call. You can’t become comfortable. Sam would snap your neck without a second thought if you gave him a reason. 

When you look up he’s watching you, his face now indifferent. He sighs, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his legs. What rage overtook him is gone just as fast as it came. 

“You are not allowed to look at the maps,” he explains calmly. “No maps, no books, no letters you may come across. And you never repeat a word you hear between Dean and me.”

“I understand...but I can’t read.” Books have been one of the great loves of your life, but Sam doesn’t need to know that. 

“Good, less temptation to be curious.” He stares at you a moment longer before downing the rest of his wine and pouring more. There’s a shout in the distance and Sam smiles, pointing at you. “Get yourself up. We have a guest.”

You manage to get to your feet just in time for Dean and the woman trailing him. There’s a clanking of metal and you look at the chain around her left ankle. She’s an Omega, you can smell her instantly. She’s a few years younger than you, but old enough that her scent is sickeningly strong. She looks around wildly from both Alphas to you. 

Dean’s brought back women before. Always Betas, never for more than an hour and definitely not in chains. 

“Brought you a friend,” Dean chuckles, winking at you. He takes the end of the chain and secures it around one of the thick poles holding up the tent, before clicking the heavy lock shut. “Gotta be careful with this one. She’s a runner.” 

“So was she.” Sam grunts in your direction as you stand frozen, still reeling from his assault. 

“You see what happens?” Dean places a hand at the back of the girl’s neck, both of them looking at you. She looks more angry than scared, an indication she doesn’t understand where she is. She should be pissing herself. “Don’t make me break your arm like hers.”

You’re the cautionary tale. The example to keep her in check. 

“One of your countrymen.” Dean goes on, appraising her from head to toe. 

You suck in a breath at the thought. She doesn’t know who you are. Few commoners had the occasion to see you for more than a few minutes during a parade through town and even less would recognize you now. But there’s no sense in tempting fate. Nothing good can come of familiarity. The moment you open your mouth you could say something that might cast doubt on the backstory you’ve created. 

You look from her to Sam, taking a step closer to your Alpha. 

“You see how good she is?” Dean explains. “You’d do well to follow her example.” 

“I thought you were riding ahead to the scout camp?” Sam asks, picking a hunk of bread off the table.

“I am. I’ll be back in a few hours. I can’t take her with me, can I?” Dean cocks his head, checking his flash before nodding to the new Omega. “Make sure she doesn’t go anywhere.”

Sam is about to protest, but before he has the chance Dean is gone. Sam moves on as if this is nothing out of the ordinary. 

“You’re there.” Sam points to Dean’s bed. “Stay quiet. No talking. I don’t want to know you’re here.”

“Let me go,” she grits out, anger seeping from her pores. You snap to attention waiting for his reaction. 

“You’re not going anywhere.” Sam snuffs out one torch after the next until the fire is the only light in the tent. “Lay down, shut your mouth and be quiet. You’ll sleep if you’re smart.”

“I’ll kill you both!” She yanks at the chain attached to her leg, glaring at Sam. 

“You should do what he says.” You speak up, offering advice you hope will keep her alive. “Stop talking and lay down.” 

Her eyes go wild, staring at you in surprise. 

Sam tugs at the back of your dress, pulling at the ties until you’re able to step out. You can feel her watching from across the room. Hidden in the shadows of Dean’s bed, she’s about to understand exactly what’s expected from her. 

Sam is already stark naked, the muscles of his back flexing as he pulls back the cover on the bed. 

“In,” he gestures. 

You lay down on your back as he slides in beside you. A hand comes down on your belly and you flinch, looking up at him in horror at your reaction. 

“I scared you, little bird.” He rubs his palm over your naked hip. His eyes fall to your neck, bruises already forming. 

“You hurt me,” you whisper back. “I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to look. You could have just told me. I always follow your rules.”

“Yes, you do.” His hand moves upward, tracing the underside of your breast. “And now you’ll know next time. Do you know what the penalty for an Omega caught reading is?”

“No,” you whisper, scared of the answer. “What?”

“Your eyes. Both of them plucked out.” His thumb brushes over your nipple, feeling it harden under his touch. 

“But I couldn’t even read it,” you reiterate, yet again. 

“It doesn’t matter. If anyone else found you inspecting that map, you’d be blind for the rest of your life. I wouldn’t have any say in it.”

“Oh,” you’re silent as he rubs the pad of his thumb over the hard peak of your nipple, swirling in small circles. 

“Lucky for you, I believe in my own brand of discipline. Don’t let me catch you again. Are we clear?” He waits for you to nod in confirmation. “Good. Now turn onto your stomach.” 

[danddymaro]

Sweet Melody | Kazuhira Miller x Reader

I suppose this is a follow up on the first one: [ Care ] You guys can take it or leave it really.

Summary: He sings to her a song, one of his own, one inspired by the growing feeling in his chest.

Words count:  3605

Sweet Melody 

A quiet hum, which was the soft sound of the barely audible tune being played was the first thing the (h/c) haired young woman woke to that morning. 

Feigning sleep, she curiously peeked through one of her (e/c) eyes, trailing it towards the source of the melodic purrs, finding herself gazing at a familiar guest. 

On her search, she could only find the golden blonde haired Mother Base XO, Kazuhira Miller. 

- And she probably should have known that it couldn't have been anyone else but him there so close to her, merely just enjoying his time.

He was there, casually sitting on what had become his usual seat placed right by her bedside, just inches away from her person. Currently, his head was inclined back, continuing on with the soft, unfamiliar tune, unaware of his little spectator. 

There was a faint smile over him, the corners of his mouth lifted up by just a fraction as his index finger lightly tapped the chair’s arm with rhythmic movements, the action causing little to no sound. 

The full image of his serene expression was lightly obscured as she could only see his side profile, and that was with a bit of struggle in itself. 

She wanted to see more: to be able to admire him even more than she was already able to, but was too afraid to move more than just her curious eye, afraid that if he knew she was awake, he’d stop.

She wanted to hear more of it, so with very slow and cautious movements, she turned her head towards him rather than the ceiling, both her eyes falling onto the man’s scruffy, yet handsome face. 

‘He looks so beautiful,’ She mused, the sight of him always being perfect in her eyes. 

They were glued to him like bees on sweet, golden honey, taking all of him in. 

And as she observed him more,  she noticed him begin to move his naturally peachy pale colored lips, but rather than hear his voice ring out, soft breaths fell from between those two lovely lips. 

Naturally,  she assumed that the hushed sounds were the words to his little melody, and she wondered just what little song occupied his mind, and why the little thing had decided to be what he used to pass his time. 

She then began to smile, a soft, closed one forming as she saw his head slightly swaying, moving from left to right with very steady movements,

‘And I thought it couldn't get any better,’ She told herself, feeling her face bloom with warmth, every other centimeter of her body following in suit as her blood was pumped  with something delightfully sweet and warm.

“- What song is that?” she asked him suddenly, her voice somewhat croaky and weak, having just woken up. 

She would have loved to bask in more of his sight as he enjoyed himself, but she also wanted to speak to him, share her time with him rather than just stare at him in her own silence, no matter how appealing that was on its own.

 Stopping as he heard the woman’s voice, Kazuhira looked down at her with surprise, the smile he had during his performance growing gently as he watched her move comfortably, her entire body moving to lay belly down, her hands hugging the pillow beneath her head.  

 He found it hard not to form a smile around her, even moreso when she threw one of her own at him. 

She was just happy that she was no longer strapped to anything, or in need of any heavy assistance which meant it’d only be a matter of time before she was released.

“I didn’t wake you up, did I?” he asked her somewhat sheepishly, his eyebrows creeping up with concern.

“- I don’t mind,” she told him, happy to have him there regardless of what situation, or time for that matter. 

In just one more day she’d complete a full month of recovery, the time having flown by with him there, almost every moment of the healing process spent with the man. 

Despite her unbothered response,  he released a disappointed sigh, his shoulders dropping, “So I did,” he said with a short breath, shaking his head.

“I just said I didn't mind,” she assured him, her hand closest to him reaching out to touch his own which lay on the edge of the bed. 

“Anyways...You’re here early,” She pointed out, moving on and hoping he didn’t sulk more, “Don’t tell me you missed me that much?” she joked with a small, teasing giggle.

Usually, she was up an hour before he would come in for his routine visit, but this time she’d woken up to him already being there. 

Which was a treat, but rather strange.

“ I won’t sit here and lie to you, I did miss you, but I actually came in a little late. I felt bad about it at first, but then I walk in and find you snoring away,” He teased back.

 Meanwhile, she took in the information with wide eyes, thoroughly embarrassed. She rolled back into her earlier position, her hands covering her face as she lay on her back, “Oh no... Please tell me you’re lying,” she said with a small voice.

“Oh alright,” he started, “ By a little late, I mean around an hour or so, maybe close to two,” he revealed to her.

“ I got caught up with some business I had to take care of first. My day starts pretty early after all,” he added, and as he explained that she gave a strong heave, still stuck on the part about her snoring.

“ - Am I really loud?” she asked with uncertainty after a two-minute silence. 

“...If it makes you feel any better, I’m far worse. I’ve been told I sound like a barley working chainsaw,” he told her with a breathy chuckle, “I imagine you’d count as a smaller chainsaw, still as shitty though,” He added, making her whine.

 “I’m so sorry,” She said in a small, uneased voice that was spoken through her two hands as they covered her face. 

He shook his head, then taking his hand and letting his chin lay on it as his elbow sat on the armrest, “ ( f/n). Relax,” he said with present amusement, “ I’m just teasing you, You barely make any noise,” he told her. 

“ Anyways, I hope you don’t mind me being here,” he continued on with a serious note, knowing it was strange to simply sit there while she slept. 

He didn’t want to seem like some creep...

“ I still wanted to have some time to share with you, but I wasn't sure about waking you up.” He explained, having been troubled by the idea of waking her. 

“I’ve been debating this whole time,” he told her.

What if she wasn’t feeling well? 

What if she had suddenly gotten sick?

Sitting up she gave him a small smile, nodding, understanding his reasoning.

 She yawned, a hand going up to cover over her mouth as it opened up wide, her face scrunching up as small tears bubbled at her eyes. 

“Did you have trouble sleeping last night?” he asked her worriedly,  his hand reaching out to slide beneath her right eye first, then left to wipe the small collection of tears there.   

 Touching her… 

Being touched by her… 

It was like breathing air. It was an unconscious action he wouldn't be able to live without after experiencing it. It had begun to be a very often occurrence, one he’d lost mind to after the first few, feeling it be second nature now. 

And she didn’t seem bothered because, she had felt the same way.

Shaking her head she smiled, “ I’m just a little restless.” She told him.

 “Being in bed all day and stuck here…All I do is sleep.” she told him, a blue blow of her lips being released as she hung her head slightly, “ So when the time comes for me to actually go to bed, I kind of struggle,” she told him. 

The only trips she’d have were restroom breaks, which really want anything exciting. She was fine now, and she had been for the entirety of this week, the pain of before having gradually lifted off.

“Well, I'll just have to make sure to ask someone about that, alright?” he told her. “ I'm certain a bit of fresh air would do you good, Some sunlight… the light breeze…” He trailed off.

 “You know,” he then added, “ We can walk around together,” he offered her. And with a single nod she agreed, “I’d love that Kaz,” she told him, suddenly sitting up straight, a look of great realization falling upon her,  

“Hey!” she said with a slight pout forming, “The song... you never answered me on that,” she pointed out, and he slowly responded, “Oh well... yeah,”  he spoke with notable hesitance.

“Where’s it from?” she asked him, “ It sounds pretty,” she admitted to him, making him immediately perk up. 

“Really?” he said more to himself, “Well, if you must know...It’s actually something I wrote,” he told her, surprising her.

 “Yo...You write music....like, songs?” she told him with intrigue. 

“ I used to play too... but you know…” he trailed off, motioning to the cut-off limb with his chin, offering her a halfhearted smile. “That’s not happening any time soon....or ever again for that matter,” he said with a dry chuckle.

“I see, “ she voiced,“ I won’t lie, I would have loved to listen to you play. “ she told him, “...And joy one of your songs,” she added, all the while a lovely, little smile was drawn over her, truly having meant it. 

It would have been interesting to her because she wouldn't have guessed he had played an instrument, much less had it in him to write music.

Those were things he didn’t mention.

In fact... she’d only just come to realize that the majority of the time, he was learning about her, and not the other way around. The only things he revealed about himself were scattered pieces lying in little memories he told her of, much of which was only happy times and good things. 

When he did slip up and talk about something sensitive, he quickly steered it away, and admittedly, it did frustrate her.

 Because she wasn't sure of his reasoning. 

She wondered if perhaps he only wanted to make her smile, something he was always successful in achieving regardless of what he did.

 ‘ Maybe he’s just being nice,’ She told herself. 

That possibility was sweet, and also likely because he really was sweet, just like a warm glob of honey.   

‘Kaz... warm and kind...’

Those two words were ones she used to describe Kazuhira Miller of all people, and it was something she would have never assumed based upon their first meeting,  

‘Back when he wanted me dead,’ She thought to herself with a shake to her head,

 ‘Is it insane to still feel that way about him?’ She wondered, questioning the likeness she had for him which hadn’t ceased in any way, and had in fact, only grown more. 

They started off on the wrong foot,but even then she’d always felt something for him.

Then, even while having spent so much time with him, gradually falling deeper into those romantic sentiments, she realized that she barely knew anything about the man, atleast in regards to who he truly was. 

What truly held him back? she wondered. 

Was it fear? 

Did he still not feel right to trust her with such things? Or was he just being protective...Just being considerate with her?

She had been almost certain he also had feelings for her, but she didn’t want to be too confident in that belief, because what if perhaps he was just being nice? 

“Well…” He trailed off, “ I could sing you one of them,” He told her, sounding hesitant to make the offer, and unknown to her, his eyes trailed off from her for a moment, a bubbly, little feeling rising in the pit of his stomach as he waited for her reply. 

He looked off elsewhere, first to the flooring, then off to the bed’s metal framing, and eventually coming full circle, his focus drawn back to her (e/c) colored drops. 

With rounded eyes she lifted up her eyebrows high with surprise, ”Would you actually be willing to?” she asked him, looking at him with eager anticipation. 

He could see a twinkle of excitement glimmering in her eyes as they looked on to him and chuckling, he nodded, “ If you’re willing to sit through it,” he told her. 

Both her hands then pressed together over her chest as she repeatedly nodded , because it was an offer she just couldn't  pass up.

”I have to warn you though, it’s not in English,” He told her, “It’s actually in Japanese,” he explained, making her grow more intrigued.

 “- Yes please,” She encouraged him. 

She’d heard him speak it before, loving the way the language rolled of his tongue. The only downside was that she couldn't understand him, but at the very least he’d been sweet enough to offer to teach her, something she was over the moon with,  “Alright, Just for you,” he told her, clearing his throat with a forced cough. 

And as she listened to him sing, her expression melted, along with her entire body following in suit. 

But not with good settling, no.

‘Oh no...’

Rather than the sweet sound she had expected to hear,  she was met with a sound that made her feel squirmy and uneasy, like the scraping of nails on chalkboard.

‘ My gosh...He’s...awful…’ she thought to herself, her hand reaching up to obscure her mouth where a small, amused twitch of her lips began to surface.

 ‘Really bad…’ she continued on, unable to shoo away the amusement she felt. 

And she knew it wasn’t right to laugh, but she couldn't help it, 

‘I think he might actually be tone-deaf....’ She mused on, watching his expression as he continued to perform. He was blissfully unaware of just how unpleasant he actually sounded, and it made it all the more entertaining.

 In his mind, he wasn't even close to half bad, and only continued to grow on with more confidence as he was sure he was wooing her.

 “So...what did you think?” he asked her as his smile grew, staring at her with expectancy, and she was sure that beneath the dark tinted lenses his eyes were glowing, practically sparkling. 

He looked adorable...

‘So cute....’

“I like how it sounded,” she told him immediately after seeing his innocent hope.

 And of course, she had spoken far before she could debate more on the matter and ultimately had downright lied to him. 

Because, in all truth, he sounded like a dying cat.

Idealistically, she would have wanted to have been honest, but she couldn't bear the idea of tackling him down, 

‘No... not with that sweet face,’

“I’m relieved you like it so much,” he said chuckling, feeling his face grow warm.

 He had also hidden something from her, a little secret he had until then, “You know… I actually wrote that one a while ago,” He told her, and paying attention,  she smiled, “ Yeah?” she asked him.

 “ Yeah... about...about you,” he confessed to her, watching as her (e/c) colored eyes opened up more with surprise. 

“ I know you might not understand it…” He started, “ And I suppose that was the intention because, I thought it’d be easier to show it to you that way, “ he revealed to her.

He had felt it easier to speak in his native language, a tongue he was certain she wasn’t fluent in. He’d tested the waters, deciding that if she liked it enough he’d be willing to reveal the muse to his art... 

That being her.

“I-It's about me…?” she said airily, the admittance striking her fiercely, practically sucker-punching her and leaving her winded. 

‘He wrote it about me,’ She thought to herself, her own face feeling warmth spread not just over her cheeks, but all over her face, a blossoming color spreading right up to the tips of her ears, giving away her delighted sentiment, and noticing the blush, he felt his courage fueled even more. 

He felt it only right to continue, ‘ now or never right?’ He asked himself.  

“I haven’t given it a name yet,” he revealed to her, “ So I was going to just name it after you as well…It’s kind of silly really,” he murmured towards the end. 

“How many times has that already been done?” he added with notable mirth. 

Sure he was trying to flatter her with the song’s title, but there was also the reality that there was no name more beautiful or fitting as hers. Nothing more could define what was practically a love poem, all in all, his confession.

Perhaps in the past, he had been quite the dog. 

He’d be smoother when it came to women, practically a sneaky bastard when it came to them, but with her, he couldn’t use the same tricks. Not only did it not feel right, but admittedly, his handicap had dropped his confidence down a good amount of levels.

“It’s just that all this time we’ve spent together,” he started, “ It’s been everything to me,  meaning more than you might think,“ He admitted, “ In fact, if I could, I wouldn't ever say goodbye, “ he continued on.

‘I feel like an idiot,’ He inwardly thought. ‘I sound a little too cheesy too, especially that last bit...’

“Oh Kaz…” she started, “It’s not silly at all,” she told him, truly flattered. 

Heck, flattered wasn’t even a good word to describe the feeling she felt. Her heart was jumping up and down with joy that she, herself wanted to break out in exited somersaults.  

“Please sing it for me again,” she told him with a hasty breath. 

She couldn't understand it, but just knowing what it meant, knowing why he even made it...

As she heard the song a second time, she gazed at him, taking notice of the passionate way he carried out each verse, knowing that the energy behind his voice was stronger this time around. 

She felt her heart blow up into tiny chunks by simply watching him. 

Her eyes were completely glued to him, besotted with the lovely curves of his mouth, the edges on each side of it lifted up as he lightly swayed his body from side to side, investing his entire self into the rhythm. 

His gloved hand then slipped over the powder green sheets, his digits creeping over hers, sliding up until his hand covered hers, fully encasing it, but not yet taking a secure hold of it, 

"There's actually a final line to it…," he mentioned, his eyes skimming down to gaze at her pretty lips, watching as they parted, her tongue running over the bottom portion mindlessly, enticing him. 

"What would that be?" She asked him, batting her eyes at him, her palms beginning to moisten with the anxiousness she felt, and with desperation, she lightly moved her hand to press more onto the sheet to try and lean it up..

‘Why is my heart racing so much?’ She asked herself. ‘ It’s not like we’ve never touched... it’s not like he’s never looked at me before either...

So why do I feel so... so excited?’ She wondered.

“ That would be… Aishiteru…”  He said softly, his focus glued to her, his hand laying over hers, finally taking hold of it. 

“ It’s the final line;  something I've been meaning to say to you this whole time,” he added.

“W...What does that mean Kaz?” She asked him bashfully. 

It was just a word, something she couldn’t understand, and yet she was feeling fidgety, squirmy with little delight at the way he said it. 

‘ He can’t really mean…’

“ (f/n),” he started, his voice falling low. 

Her breath was being held in as he leaned closer to her, his lips teasingly tickling hers with a light brush, “ Do you really want to know?”  He murmured, sharing the same air she was.

It was a teasing question to ask, it being borderline cruel, because of course she wanted to know.

Airily, she answered back, “ Kaz, tell me. Please,” she urged him, her skin riddled with little goosebumps as his hand slid up her arm, gently gliding over its length before touching her jawline.  

“ It means...I love you,”  he revealed her, slowly melting his lips over hers, a contact that lasted for only a half a minute before he drew back, though hesitantly doing so, because he didn’t want it to end. 

Still dazed as an aftermath of their kiss, (f/n) responded slowly, presently drunk on his gentle touch, her eyes peeking up at him through dark lashes and twinkling with a new light.

“I do too Kazuhira, I love you too,” she said with sincerity. 

She drew towards him again, being the first to move and reach out to him, the second kiss lasting longer, both her hands on either side of his face to back up her words of proclamation. 

What drew her towards him was fate, leading her heart to the right path to meet with his, together, healing one another. 

- And he felt much more than a meager feeling of simplistic adoration for her, because it was so much more that. 

There weren't any excuses to make, the care he had for her was evident, and now so was his love.

(灬♥ω♥灬)

[slothgiirl]

island in the sun (harry styles fanfic)

reader meets harry styles while on summer vacation on a small greek island

Greece was just as magical as you had imagined it to be. It was something straight out of mamma mia with clear blue seas surrounding the small island you were staying on.

You couldn't not go for long swims around the place, your arms and legs burning as you pushed yourself to swim around the island.

There were lots of rocks to rest on near the shoreline. Sometimes you just laid back and floated, sun warming your face.

After only a week here you'd developed a routine; taking a long swim out from the beach by where you were staying at all the way until the rocky out cropping, the docks jutting out into the sea. It was fun the watch tourists and locals alike jump off from the end of the dock.

And it wasn't too long of a swim. It was welcome after being landlocked for the past year.

After you go get fresh orange juice and some bread as you make your way back to where you're calling home for now. It was a nice change of pace, these lazy days.

Your route often took you by one of those houses on the island with its own private beach, the kind that were probably worth millions even on this lesser known island.

You swam further up just in case it was occupied. It wasn't summer so there shouldn't be many tourists.

But just in case-

A voice calls out, startling you out of the zone you'd been in, feeling perfectly at home in the cool waters. “Are you okay out there!”

You can make out a man on the beach, waving an arm over to you, but you're too far out to make out much more than that.

“I'm fine,” you call back, unsure of what else to say to the stranger. So, you do as the seals do, and take a deep breath before diving under, moving your arms and legs in synch.

Your lungs burn and you push past it, eyes open in the stinging salt water. You eventually have to come back up air, pulling up by a rock outcropping that hides you from view.

It takes you a few seconds to catch your breath, embarrassed to be caught out and embarrassed by your reaction. Your cheeks burn and it has nothing to do with the sun making its way through the sky.

*

Other than the dark thick hair, and his romanesque nose, Alexander looked nothing like his cousin, one of your best friends and the reason you were getting to stay here at all.

“Another crazy long swim,” he asks, already laughing. All of them made fun of how often and how long you swam for. You couldn't help it. You were a beach bum at heart.

“Yeah,” you offer, abashedly pushing already drying strands of hair behind an ear, “i think the house around the bend is rented. I saw one of the renters.” A one piece came in handy when you had to trek back to your current home through on of the small towns on the island, the main town really.

Shoeless and burning your toes.

“I think my mom said something about that,” he responds with a shrug, following at your heels as you enter your small room and tug on some shorts. “She heard something from Elena at the market.”

“What did you do,” he asks, a hint of amusement in the smile lines around his eyes.

“Swam away,” you answer, feeling embarrassed all over again, “I dove for it.”

He laughs. “Do you want to help me make lunch for our handful of guests?”

You nod, “only because I'm going to steal some food for myself.”

Alexander shakes as you both head to the kitchen. His mother had taken over the small hotel after his grandparents had grown much to old to keep up with it, not that anyone had told them that as Kristos still woke up every morning before the sun had risen to start on breakfast and still insisted on checking the papers every saturday.

“That doesn't count as helping!”

“It does,” you reply sagely, “I have to make sure the food is good after all.”

“You are the one who burned the-”

“It was an accident!”

*

It takes you two days to get over yourself and swim past the house again, past where the stranger had been.

You had built it all up in your head, going for swims about the shore below from where you were staying, drying up in the sun before braving the steps again. It had been weird and awkward and you hadn't wanted to be seen again.

But you weren't going to let some rich tourist stop you from swimming past their place. It was your morning routine, and you refused to give it up after being landlocked.

The pool was just never the same.

As you came upon it you felt a twinge, unable to keep your eyes off the shore, focus shifting to the stranger.

But the beach was empty.

You let out a sigh of relief and went by.

*

You help Alexander's grandmother and little sister in the garden, Juliana exclaiming, “no no that's too much water,” and “that's a weed. that's a weed. We eat that!”

Even at twelve she had a much greener thumb you did.

“Bring forth the compost,” she commanded, looking to her grandmother, making sure she was doing everything right.

“Careful not to put too much,” the older woman added, looking over the vegetables and herbs, basket next to her along with what she had harvested.  

Their little hotel seemed to exist in its own little bubble. A beautiful one out of a studio ghibli movie, but that didn't stop Juliana’s mother from getting starbucks when she went into town.

And some fresh fries from mcdonald's were nice to eat every now and then.

“I know I know.” She replies, already digging into the compost and gleefully mixing it into the soil.

You wipe away the sweat from your brow, still working on the resistant weeds.

“You need to eat more or all the swimming's gonna make you disappear like seafoam!”

You giggle, “maybe I want to turn into seafoam!”

Juliana grins in response, “we're making pizza for tonight. I'm going to get my very own.”

“No,” her grandmother adds, “you won't even finish it.”

“I will,” she insists, “I promise.”

“or I'll feed you to the sharks,” you add.

Her nose scrunches up, unamused, “you still have more weeds over there.”

“Yes my lady,” you joke as you move to the next patch.

*

It's another three days before you see the stranger again. Still from far off as you swim past, arms burnings as you do.

He waves to you, waves you over.

Which you assume means you're going to get horribly murdered, body left to wash up on some shore and it'll be on a thousand different true crime shows, maybe someone will think to add in the possibility of aliens.

You swim towards him anyways, curiosity too built up after these last few days. It's easy enough to let the waves pull you to shore. They do all the hard work and you just keep your head above water.

He walks out into the waves to meet you, tall and fit, chest littered in tattoos that range from awful to beautiful swallows on either sides of his chest. With large kind green eyes, it's not hard to place him. You doubt very many people wouldn't recognize him. But you don't want to be rude either so you say nothing, yet.

“Do you live around here,” Harry Styles asks, hand raised over his brow, shading his eyes from the sun.

“Around,” you respond evenly, waving off in the approximate direction, “it's be an awfully long swim otherwise.”

“So you're not secretly a mermaid or something?”

Heat rises to your cheeks, chest warm with pride vying for misplaced embarrassment. “Not unless what my mom said about staying to long in the water was true.”

He smiles, easily, before asking, “and what did she tell you?”  

“That I’d turn into a mermaid if I spent too long in the water. I took it as a challenge. Hasn't happened yet though.”

Harry laughs, looking down at you in disbelief twisted with simple joy, his wide smile reaching his eyes. “Well after your done with your swim I don't suppose you like to stop by?”

“Isn't that what I'm doing right now,” you retort, slipping into easy banter, like you've known him all your life, his easy manner contagious and suddenly you understand what charisma means.

“Well then by all means come on in,” he says tilting his head over to the nice house behind, back nestled just a short walk from the sand.

“I've got a swim to finish,” you counter, tilting your nose up in the air, before breaking into a smile, winking as you slip back further out.

He lets you go without another word.

*

You slap on sunscreen and pull on your bathing suit, already dry thanks to the hot sun.

It's morning and you only bother with a cup of water before making your way down the stone steps that lead down to the water, clear and blue and the perfect depth for a dive.

So you go in head first, coming up for air, getting your bearings before your off.

You hadn't told anyone just who you'd met the day before. It had felt too private. You doubted he'd want it announced, probably wanted a fair bit of privacy coming out all this way just for that very reason instead of heading to santorini.

That and you liked the idea of having him to yourself, warm and fuzzy on the inside as you thought of how he'd smiled at you on the beach.

Your strokes cut through the water easy, tide making the water seem almost still, a gentle lululling in contrast to the crashing waves of the beaches back home, a whole other ocean. The water cool against your skin, sun too low to burn yet.

This time Harry swims out to meet you, brow furrowed in concentration and you smile to yourself as you watch him approach, leaning back and floating, waiting for him out where your toes can't reach the bottom, water clear enough to see below to the rocks and occasional fish that darts by.

“I'm not the strongest swimmer,” he admits when he's within earshot, “but there's just something so relaxing to being in water, especially in a place like this.”

You laugh in agreement, “i know! But then again I'm a complete water baby.”

“Ever been to Hawaii,” he asks following your lead to the rock outcropping. Floating was no way to have a conversation, and finding a perch is easy enough.

“No,” you respond, “I'd love to go though. I've seen so many beautiful photos of the reefs.But for now I'm just lucky enough to spend the summer here.”

“Do you have family here?”

Shaking your head you answer, “nope, staying with a friends family actually. They were nice enough to host me.” You look out to the horizon for a second before settling you gaze on him, day old stubble and sparkling eyes, “How about you?”

“Just working on writing,” he tells me, “feels good to get away sometimes. Have some time by myself and really write not just mess around.”

With a smile you tell Harry, “That's exactly the reason I can never study in my dorm. I will one hundred percent mess around. But if I go somewhere to study I feel forced to actually get something done.”

Harry snorts. “What're you studying?”

“Economics, just no one told me all the math I have to take for it.”

He laughs at me, shaking his head. Before growing serious for a moment, “wait do you,” he trails off looking unsure for once.

“I think my mom would probably know who you are,” you add helpfully, “and she cant even work facebook.”

“Sorry I didn't say anything earlier,” you go on, looking down into the water, the dark blue of the water, the movement, mesmerizing to study. “I wasn't sure if I should or if it would be rude though I bet you always have people coming up to you.”

Harry shrugs, “most people are really nice about the whole thing so it's never a bother. But let me introduce myself,” he says puffing his chest out, back straight and offering his hand to you, “I'm Harry.”

You snort but shake his hand and introduce yourself too. “Nice to meet you Harry.”

“The pleasures all mine.”

“Well,” you say with much reluctance, “i'd better be getting on with my swim if you don't mind?”

“Ah of course who am I to stop such a committed swimmer,” he says arching an eyebrow playfully.

You giggle before pushing off the rock, launching yourself into the water and riding the momentum as far as it'll take you.

You feel warm all over and it has nothing to do with the sun.

*

“We have a big family coming to stay with us from the mainland,” Juliana tells you, sharing some of her chips with you, “grandma told me to tell you if you could help out with check in in the morning?”

“Aye aye captain,” you tell her, saluting her with a firm hand before grabbing another handful of ketchup chips, the vinegar taste strangely addicting. “Anything else I should know?”

“Only that I'm going to make you carry and the suitcases,” she says blowing a raspberry at you.

“oh I see how it is,” you say, acting mock affronted as you place a hand over your chest, “i thought we were supposed to gang up on your brother?”

She grins mischievously, “only if you'll go out to pick cherries with me?”

“I thought we weren't supposed to?”

“It's not like anyone has to know.” Her smiles wides, all teeth and you break into laughter.

“Okay okay,” you respond, licking your fingers for good measure, getting all the flavor and crumbs off, “deal.”

*

After going three days without a swim, your muscles ache in relief as you finally get to put them to good use, long powerful strides that have you gliding through the water.

It's a later start than you'd have liked, but you'd already been away for too long.

And you weren't going to lie, you were hoping to see Harry. Because you liked him. Too much for someone you'd only had a handful of conversations with.

You wonder if he'd worried when you hadn't swum by in the mornings.

You'd be sure to ask him if you saw him.

After a few good strokes you drive down, eyes stinging from the sea water, lungs full of held air as you go down as far as you can, before the pressure in your ears becomes too much and your dart up like a minnow, breaking for air on the surface and floating as you catch your breath, feeling weightless and good from the cool water now soaked into your hair.

After a few moments you push on, heart speeding up as you come into view of his current house, home, for a little while at least.

He was going to be here for as long as you were, the summer, and by then he'd head back to record all the things he'd been busy writing, both musically and lyrically.

You tried not to think about the end of summer, as you came closer, Harry visible from the beach, camped out in a towel with an assortment of things.

He waves you over and you comply without much thought. It's harry.

“It's good to see you,” he says as you come out of the water, dripping wet and already drying off because of the beating sun high overhead, walking over towards his splayed out blanket.

Harry's sitting cross legged on it, guitar in his arms and notebooks by his side, along with a plate full of fruit and cheese and crackers.

“Hope I'm not interrupting,” you state, settling down next across from him, careful not to wet any paper.

“Oh you could never,” he states with a soft smile. “I was getting worried you'd finally turned into a mermaid and swam off on me.”

“Even if I was a mermaid I wouldn't swim off on you,” you joke back. “how's the writing going?”

“Well i've got a lot of solid ideas and I'll have to see how it all sounds in studio, move things around play with what I've got but so far it's all coming together pretty well.”

“That's great,” you tell him, smiling as you take him in, soft brown hair and lips pulled into a smile as he gazes back at you.

Harry begins to strum the guitar, melody instantly recognizable and your thrown back to being in school, “I’m gonna soak up the sun,” he croons and you can't help but giggle at his antics, too adorable not to laugh with. “Gonna tell everyone, to lighten up.”

“God that songs still goes,” you giggle. “Makes me feel old though.”

Harry snorts, eyes narrowing at you comically, “oh wow twenty something, super old.”

“Shut up,” you teases, beaming at him, arms hugging your legs to your chest, “I'm super old. A little old lady who lives alone with her twelve cats.”

He shakes his head laughing. “Do you want any fruit? I've got water too if you're feeling thirsty,” motioning to a steel canteen.

You shake your head, “won't be able to swim even if I really want to steal a mango from you.”

“You could just stay here,” he says, his gaze heavy on you, “hang out for a bit. Have all the mangos in the world?”

It's too tempting to pass up.

“Well how could I say no to an offer like that?”

*

It's dark by the time you find time to make it down to Harry's house, armed with some cherry pie you'd nabbed before leaving them all to dinner, begging off as Juliana and her grandmother took turns teasing and telling you you should eat at least a plateful of food before leaving.

Even at night the airs still warm, thick with the smell of saltwater you love so much.

“Would you like some pie off a poor little old lady,” you tease him, unable to keep a smile off your lips at the sight of Harry in an old the dye t shirt and black shorts.

“As long as it isn't apple,” he says, leading the way in. “Hope you like pasta.”

It's a beautiful house, covered in the iconic greek white and blue, with an open air kitchen slash alcove that's perfect for nights like these.

“Who doesn't like pasta? It's just bread and cheese if you think about it.” Any combination of bread and cheese was good in your book.

He snorts, “did you really bake me a pie?” Looking way too snug for your liking.

“Nope,” you respond, popping the p, “juliana got the cherries and bullied her brother into helping her make pie.”

“That's just what sisters are like,” he says sagely.

You snort, sitting down and watching as he pours you both a glass of red wine to go along with your pasta and pie.

Conversation is always easy with him. Ranging from bands you both like because who doesn't like the beatles and abba and kendrick lamar. To school which you groan about even though it's nearly over and you do like it, like spending time with your friends, sneaking food into the library.

“That's terrible,” Harry remarks at that.

“Shut up,” you utter, burning red, as you sip at the wine.

Mostly you have to admit you like learning even when it's finals and you want to die and you've slept less than four hours most nights, you wouldn't have it any other way.

“There's something romantic about the whole uni experience,” Harry says, a thread of longing clear in his voice.

You smile at him, “it's all fun and games until my prof from calc reads right out of the book for two hours and i want to stab myself.”

That earns you a loud laugh, Harry's shoulders shaking, “I think I could be a calc professor.”

You wrinkle your nose, “maths gross.”

“wow,” he says, smiling softly over at you, pie abandoned in favor of gazing way to earnestly into your eyes and you feel a shiver run down your spine. “You're way too fucking cute.” It's much too serious a statement and you can't help the giggle that escapes from your lips.

“Shut up Harold!”

“You are,” he responds calmly.

Your cheeks are burning and you can't stop looking into his mossy green eyes, his hair a mess he probably hadn't fixed since he woke up and yet somehow he pulled it off. It was a mix of confidence and natural good looks and the easy nature like that of an excitable puppy.

“Can I kiss you,” he utters softly.

And because you've thought about it before, gazing at him, at his well formed mouth as he talking about anything and everything, face all lit up and focused on you, you nod.

His lips are soft and plush against yours and there's no hesitation, his hand cupping up to cup your cheek, tilting your head towards him, your own eyes fluttering shut.

Kissing him back as eagerly as he kissed you, want thick and throbbing like a live wire inside you.

Your hands coming up to intertwine behind his neck. Harry pulls at your bottom lip, between his teeth, and you part your lips to him.

Letting him in, tongue warm and wet against yours.

His arm pulls you closer to him, everything but each other forgotten, skin heating up with every touch, with every movement, his body hot and solid against yours driving you wild with desire.

You’re practically in his lap as Harry pulls away from your mouth, placing a kiss on the corner of your lips, pulling back and looking down at you, his gaze as heavy and hot as you feel and it's impossible but it makes you want him more, like you've never wanted anyone.

“Do,” he utters, voice strained, “do you want to-”

You nod eagerly and then giggle at yourself, feeling dizzy with want, Harry's body against you driving you wild, knocking you off kilter in a delicious way and you want him. “Yeah, yes all of it.”

He snorts, the warmth of his hand leaving you cheek, taking you into his arms and now you're really straddling him, you legs around his waist and you trust that he won't let you fall as he carries you into the house.

Your hand cups one of his well defined cheekbones and then you're pressing your lips to his, hungrily. Your other hand in his soft hair, as you stumble against the couch, settling down and his body pressing down eagerly against yours, trapping you against the couch.

One of his hands slipping under your shirt, his touch setting you aflame.

You lose yourself in the moment and forget about how short summers are.

*

epilogue

It's only your second week back and you're already slammed with school work, studying on a saturday night when you could be at a house party, or better yet, sleeping.

The only thing that's keeping you going is the thought of a call from your boyfriend in an hour when the time differences between you and him comply.

Just have to get through another half hour of math and graphs and the reading you just know you'll give up on in another week. Textbooks were horrible things to read and they rarely helped.

Confused you further more often than not.

Your phone vibrates and without looking you know who it is. No one calls anymore and you're expecting it, expecting him.

“Hey,” you utter, “ good morning.” You can't see it, but you can already see his sleepy smile, his hand coming up to rub his eyes before shaking off sleep without the air of coffee you couldn't do without.

“I'd say good morning but that'd hardly be right,” harry says, “or it could be a good morning in advance.”

“In advance,” you giggle quietly, glad the library's practically empty by now, “I like that.”

“What're you doing?”

“Studying, well, finishing studying,” you tell him because there's only so much you can study before your brain fries, “sexy I know.”

He snorts from across the pond, “I don't know about that, librarians can be pretty sexy.”

“Oh my god harold,” you yelp, unable to help yourself, groaning and laughing and wishing he was here.

“What love,” he responds, “I can't help it when it comes to you!”

“i'm going to pack up and go before I get kicked out because of you.”

“me! What did i do,” Harry protests.

You snort and smile to yourself, crazy in love with Harry

[homesweetsewer]

Radiant (Donatello x Fem Reader)

So...this will be a 3-part follow up to Harmless. You can go back and read all 5 parts of that if you’d like, but I don’t think it’s necessary to understand what’s happening here. I kind of left Donnie hanging and I just can’t do that to my nerdy ninja booboo bear after he had his little heart shattered 😭

@loveyourselfcreateyourself kinda like this? Great minds!

“Hand me that voltage meter.”

“One voltage meter, coming up,” you smiled as you grabbed the requested item and passed it into Donatello’s waiting hands. “Here you go.”

His fingers brushed your’s, lingering just a moment longer than was necessary. An almost perplexed look flitted over his features as he continued to look at you for just a beat longer before returning to his task. “Thanks.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” you chirped happily, trying your best to ignore the strange looks he’d been giving you lately.

It had been a couple of months since April had informed Donatello that she was dating Casey and that her feelings for him didn’t extend into the romantic realm. It had been hard for the turtle to hear but after many shed tears, long nights leaning on your shoulder, and few weeks of avoiding April, Donnie had finally managed to pull himself back together into a semblance of his old self. For that, you were extremely thankful. It had hurt you to watch him struggle with his unrequited feelings. It was a something you were all too familiar with and, though you loved him desperately, would have given anything to change things so he could be happy. To say you’d been relieved when life had more or less returned to normal around the lair would have been an understatement.

You’d slowly settled back into old habits, the routines you’d become so familiar with since becoming acquainted with the turtles comforting in their own way. One of your favorite things to do was play assistant to Donnie’s mad scientist. Though you were more into literature and art than science and technology, you took direction very well and Donatello appreciated having an extra pair of hands. It went without saying that you thoroughly enjoyed the time spent together and you’d also be lying if you said you didn’t learn something new every time you were together. Donatello had an amazing wealth of knowledge that never failed to impress you and, in fact, his intelligence been one of the first things that had attracted you to the tall terrapin.

You were currently seated cross legged on the floor of Donnie’s lab, passing him tools as he requested them as any good assistant would, while the turtle in question was crammed quite awkwardly beneath an electrical console trying to figure out how Mikey had managed to trip all the circuit breakers earlier in the day. You enjoyed times like this when it was just the two of you...not that you didn’t enjoy spending time with the others, mind you. It’s just that you and Donatello seemed to share a common wavelength of sorts which, you noticed recently, seemed to have drawn you closer following the whole April/Casey fiasco. Not that you minded in the slightest. You were just happy to have his company and would take whatever you could get of him.

An irritated sigh emitted from beneath the console a second before Donatello popped his head back out to look at you. “Well,” he announced dryly, “I think I found the problem.”

“I knew you would,” you grinned at the turtle which again caused that strange perplexed look to flash across his face. You consciously chose to ignore it, instead focusing on the matter at hand. You waited patiently as he shimmied his way out of the tight space to plunk down beside you on the floor. You looked at him, expectantly awaiting an explanation. “What’s the verdict, professor?”

Donnie held up his hand, a chewed up piece of pizza crust pinched between his two fingers, “Double cheese and pepperoni.”

“Eww,” you scrunched your nose. “How in the world did it get under there?”

Donnie gave you a look as if he couldn’t believe you’d even had to ask. “This is Mikey we’re talking about.”

“Point taken. Gotta love him, though.” You laughed, fully expecting the ninja to join you in your laughter. Instead, he remained oddly quiet, studying you carefully. As you quieted, you frowned slightly at his seemingly intense analysis. Curiosity got the better of you. “Seriously,” you asked, “do I have something on my face?”

“What?” Donatello seemed to snap back to himself, “No...” he shook his head. “Why?”

You shrugged, “It’s just that you keep staring at me. I thought I may have grease smeared all over me or something.”

“Uh,” Donnie let out an embarrassed chuckle, raising one hand to rub the back of his neck nervously. “N-no, it’s not that. It’s just...you...look different.”

It was your turn to be puzzled. Feeling suddenly self conscious, you gave yourself a quick once over but found nothing out of place. “I look different?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, flushing slightly. “I didn’t mean to stare. I was just...trying to figure out what it is.”

“No worries.” You bumped shoulders with the turtle, trying to play it off. “I hate to break it to you, though, I’m the same old boring me you see everyday.”

“You’re not boring,” he murmured, tossing the pizza crust into the nearby wastebasket.

The two of you fell into silence for a moment. While Donatello fidgeted nervously with his tools, you hummed to yourself, wracking your brain over what could have possibly caught his attention to make him act so odd but you drew a blank. You hadn’t changed your hair. Your makeup was simple as always. Knowing you’d be crawling around on the floor, you’d worn a pair of old worn out jeans and a band t-shirt Donnie had seen you in plenty of times before. You hadn’t gained any weight and you certainly hadn’t lost any. Something about the way he looked at you, though, made you feel strangely anxious.

Pursing your lips, you asked, “Is it good different or bad different?”

Donnie’s head snapped up in your direction, his eyes wide behind his tortoise shell frames as he perused you once more. “It’s...it’s good different.” He paused for a moment before adding shyly, “You look...radiant.”

You quirked a brow at that, an amused grin lifting the corners of your mouth. “Radiant?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged, embarrassed, and averted his eyes from you. “Sorry...that sounds stupid. It was just the first thing that popped in my head.”

“No,” you assured, reaching out to grab his hand. “It’s not stupid. I’ve just...never been described as radiant before.” You gave his fingers a squeeze, “I kind of like it. Thank you, Donatello.” You sat up a bit straighter and flipped your hair back over your shoulder. In a cheeky voice you proclaimed, “I look radiant.”

Donnie chuckled at your display and turned his hand over beneath your’s in order to clasp your fingers and give you a gentle squeeze in return. “Yeah,” he spoke softly. “You do.”

Silence enveloped the pair of you once more as you stared at one another. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable but the air between you felt almost heavy. You were hyper aware of the fact that he hadn’t released your hand and that his much larger fingers completely enveloped your own. His skin was slightly cooler than your’s, not surprising given his reptilian lineage, and the texture slightly more rough, but it felt nice. It wasn’t like you hadn’t touched him before but this felt...different. The way he kept looking at you, like he’d only just seen you for the first time, caused a myriad of butterflies to erupt within your stomach. Time seemed to slow, forming a bubble around the two of you and making it feel as though you were the only people left in the world.

You swallowed audibly, your voice whispering out just loud enough to be heard, “Uh...Donnie?”

“Yeah?” His voice dropped in pitch and he leaned in toward you slightly.

Subconsciously, you leaned in toward him as well. Your tongue peaking out slightly to moisten your suddenly dry lips. His eyes caught the subtle movement and a soft churring sound rumbled up from deep in his chest causing a shiver to work its way down your spine. You’d always fantasized about a moment just like this. The only thing separating the both of you were just a few scant inches and some lingering self doubt...the rational part of your brain reminding you over and over that he’d only just gotten over April. He was waiting on you, you realized, to finish whatever thought you’d started.

“Donnie...I,” You struggled to string together something coherent, his proximity and intense gaze made thinking difficult. It shouldn’t be that hard to tell him how you feel, it was nothing you hadn’t practiced in your head a million times. You wouldn’t pressure him, just share what was on your heart and reassure him that you’d be his friend regardless. If only you could force your mouth to do your bidding. “I...I really...”

Beep...beep...beep...beep...

The alarm on your phone went off suddenly causing the pair of you to spring apart. You jerked your slightly trembling hand from his grasp and fumbled trying fish the offensive device from your pocket in order to silence it. Your eyes widened once you’d finally succeeded and were able to see the time.

“Crap!” You exclaimed, jumping up. “My parents are dragging me to some charity carnival thing. I have to go or I’m going to be late.”

Donnie scrambled to his feet, a look of slight panic on his face. “I’ll walk you home,” he quickly offered.

“Thanks,” you smiled up at the turtle, “but it’s still light out. Someone could see you.”

“Right...” frustration laced his tone. “Just...be careful...”

“I always am,” you assured as you quickly swept around the room gathering your things. “Besides,” you offered teasingly, “it’s too early for all the crazies to be out. So don’t worry, I probably won’t get mugged and stabbed in your absence.”

“Not funny.” Donatello frowned, “Don’t even joke about that.”

“Sorry...” you apologized. You knew better. You knew he worried. “I’ll be fine. I’ll text you as soon as I get home, alright?”

“Yeah,” he still sounded unsure. “Alright.”

“Don’t work too hard while I’m gone,” you warned, knowing full well he’d completely disregard your advice.

“I won’t,” he agreed, then asked hesitantly, “Will...are you coming over tomorrow?”

You quirked a brow, “Don’t I come over everyday?”

“Heh,” Donnie shuffled nervously, “Yeah...”

You smiled at the turtle. That strange look passed over his face again, giving you goosebumps and the sudden urge to kiss him. What would it hurt? Just a quick peck...a friendly peck...on the cheek? It would be so easy. Too easy. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you shuffled forward, propelled yourself up onto your tiptoes, and pressed a chaste kiss to his right cheek. His quick, surprised intake of breath was like music to your ears. You realized belatedly that it was more than likely the first kiss he’d ever received. That thought both thrilled and saddened you.

You lingered for just a moment longer than was probably appropriate given your status as friends but you didn’t want the moment to end. When you did finally pull back, you found him looking at you as though he’d just discovered some earth-shattering scientific breakthrough. You felt a blush rise to your face, a mixture of attraction and embarrassment. “I have to go,” you whispered. ““I’ll see you tomorrow, Donnie.”

Donatello could only watch as you turned on your heel and bounded out of the room. His brain had all but turned to mush as he had an incredible epiphany: You’d been here all this time and he was a complete and total idiot.

“Oh my God, oh my God...” Donnie pressed his palm against his cheek, muttering to himself as he sank into his chair. He could still feel the warmth where your lips had been, like a brand marking him as your’s. Thoughts of you and he played through his head as he analyzed what had almost transpired between you...what had probably been bubbling just beneath the surface for some time now that he was only just beginning to notice. His heart thrilled at the notion even as a ball of nervousness formed in the pit of his stomach. He’d never felt this way before, not even with April, and that frightened him. “Oh my God,” he muttered again.

To be continued...

[durifmdarchive]

what made me jump was dinosaur  ⏤ self para.

date: march 5th, 2018. character(s) involved: star (his pup); mentions of wren, hyejung, sooyeon, taeri (his god-son), mari (his god-daughter), uncle minho, aunt taekjo. about: with his post traumatic stress disorder worsening and the anniversary of his parents death (and the car accident he was in) on the rise; duri’s fear of dying as young as his parents did is beginning to grow and grow. out of this fear, he makes the outlandish decision to meet with his legal team to draft up a will on a day with a free schedule.  word count: 2,887.

The time continually clicked upon the clock; minute after minute, hour after hour. Brown eyes sat, watching as time had pressed by so slowly, yet so quickly. Everything was always about time, life was all about time. How much time someone had, how much time was left; this manmade construct to help let humans let daily lives was what life was described by. Which, had constantly made Duri question just how long was left for him. Was he going to meet the same fate that both of his parents did? That’s something that constantly sat in his mind; one of the fears that would constantly consume his head. Fear… that was something that almost constantly sat in the back of Duri’s head. Fear, it was normal; but the fear that would constantly sit in the man was something that never felt normal to Duri.

Duri is generally the happy guy. He was happy, that was true; he was always happy, having a smile on his face, and he has so much love to give to people and put out into the world. He’s warm, he’s friendly, he’s soft, he’s pure, and so many good words could go into describing the type of person that Oh Duri is. But, the one thing that a lot of people didn’t know; something that Duri really only knew or felt, was the sadness that consumed him, the fear that sat within him, and the nightmare that would take him over every few nights. It was something that Duri just couldn’t shake what so ever, it crept upon him whenever he would least except it. At time, he would think he was perfectly okay; but once it would happen, he knew he wasn’t, and he needed help; he just didn’t know how to ask for help. Isn’t it so funny? Someone who’s always helping other people, always willing to help, but he would never seek for help himself.

Eyes blinked with the time, mind full of endless thoughts. He sits up finally, after hours of just watching the clock click on by with its minutes and hours. His eyes meet with Star, who was laying at the end of the bed, pressed up against Duri, the bottom half of his body covered up by a thin blanket; which wasn’t much because he was only a few months old, meaning the golden retriever was still somewhat small. Star was happy to sleep in the bed when Wren wasn’t there; plus, it made the bed feel less empty, nonetheless. There’s a soft smile upon his face as he watched Star’s soft breathing; the dog was enough to help him feel better. Quietly and softly, Duri moved out from under the comforter, quietly leaving the bedroom. His footsteps crept down the hallway, fingers pressing the light switch, letting the lights come on in the living room and kitchen.

In minutes, the kettle beeps and the light turns off, signaling that the water was boiled. He has a soft sigh, before he picks it up, pouring the water into a mug that already had the sugar and tea bag in it, ready to go. His fingers grip the spoon, stirring the contents, and moving towards the living room, where he would place the tea cup and plate down upon the side table, before he would scrunch his six-foot body up on the couch, hands grabbing the notebook and pen that he left there. Another soft sigh left his lips; this was morbid, what he was doing, it was outlandish… but, it was something that made sense to Duri, simply because of the fear that had installed within his very mind, something he couldn’t move pass. One day he would, he knew one day he would be able to move pass, but until then, he was taking about just any precaution his mind could possibly come up with. It was ridiculous, it was something that he really shouldn’t be doing. But, could you blame what his mind and heart told him to do? At this time of night when the stars were out to play, they were as confused and scared as he was.

Hours had passed, he had moved pass two cups of tea, and had a cup of coffee. He wrote something out, something that would soon be revealed to someone. It wasn’t a song or a story, it was something that a man of his age probably shouldn’t write out. Just the thought of doing it and finishing it was enough to make Duri feel nauseous, but it was okay, he had gotten through it. He got up from his spot, notebook in one hand, and the mug in the other hand, placing them down upon the kitchen island. His mind felt clouded, he felt ridiculous. But, he was scared that something could easily happen; something could easily take him away from away he cares about – just like the world had managed to take away his parents at the same age that he currently was. It sat there, always bubbling away and brewing.

He shuffled his way to the bathroom, to get ready for the day. His shower was quiet, mainly standing under the hot water, trying to empty out his mind; letting a few tears escape his eyes to help him get over whatever he was currently feeling. A long time passed by, something that he didn’t mean to happen, but he wanted to melt with the water, feel as free as the water did; he wanted to be freed from what was locked within his head. Slowly, he could feel it happening, but sometimes it would completely stop and go back to the very start.  Would he ever get away from these feelings? These thoughts that constantly lingered? He could never truly answer that – at least, not yet. He got out of the shower, before he would do his usual routine of blow drying his hair, doing morning skin care, brushing his teeth, getting dressed, and doing his hair. Today, he opted for the option of the tan pea coat; the one that Wren got him for his birthday, the one that matched the one that she has – as well as a white sweater, and black jeans.

Lively and awake, he makes his way into the bedroom completely, Star popping his head up from his spot on the bed. He got up and stretched his body, before getting excited to see Duri standing there. A soft chuckle left Duri’s lips, before he walked over, petting Star a bunch, scratching behind his ear, and giving all the attention that Star liked when saw Duri in the morning or after a long day. “Are you ready for your morning meal, Star?” he questioned, before he picked Star up from the bed, making his way out to the kitchen where he would feed him a small morning meal and some water to drink. He would quickly make his way back to the bedroom to make the bed; always making it look as if the bed wasn’t lived in at all. Simply, that was the way he was taught and he never left the bed unmade, it gave him motivation for the day. He had always believed that you should start your day with making your bed to give yourself the proper motivation to do things that day; that simple thing had helped him with such every day. He would refuse to leave the trainee dorm, Decipher’s dorm, and his own apartment every day without making the bed. He made his way to the kitchen to clean up Star’s bowls and place that piece of paper in his pocket before he’d forget it.

A loud whistle is made, before Star comes darting for the front door, particularly from falling over. “Come on, let’s go to the bathroom before I have to go out, okay?” He spoke, a soft smile against his lips. He places the leash over Star’s head, as well as placing bags in his pocket, before picking him up (it was easier to carry him because Duri never used the elevator), and making his way to the area of the apartment building that was full of greenery. There, Star would do his business and look proud of himself; leaving Duri to clean it up. He let the pup run around for a few minutes, burn off all his morning energy, before taking him back to the apartment. A layer of newspaper would sit somewhere close to the kitchen, and down on his knees, he’d be looking at Star who was sitting there, watching his every move. “If you need to go while I’m gone, go here, okay?” he says softly, a wagging tail would be his only response. He watches a hand over, running his hand through soft fur. “I’ll be back soon, okay?” He tells the young dog, before he’d make his way out, with Star following him all the way to the door to say another goodbye.

He placed a mask over his mouth, a beanie upon his head, and sunglasses over his eyes in the effort of not being noticed. He was always pretty good at this, especially since no one really knew exactly where Duri lived, unless he gave you the exact address. It was privacy, so it was something that was never shared for his own sake (though, he was surprised that no one had managed to figure such a thing out.) Nonetheless, he was on his way to meet a few people; something that was important for him in this moment. The cold air nipped upon the bare skin upon his face, making it just the tiniest bit red. But, it was fine, he liked the cold (even if he did prefer when the sun would shine and warm him. He was, after all, a winter baby technically.) The hard biting of the cold was enough to take his mind elsewhere, make him not think, and make him just smile as he went on with his morning. That was enough, right?

His eyes, hidden behind the pair of sunglasses, meet with a little girl outside of a convenient store who’s seemingly struggling with getting a straw through the top of banana milk. A soft smile can’t help but to make its way upon Duri’s lips, before he lets his mask hang from one ear, and sunglasses sit in the pocket of his jacket. He made his way over, before bending down to her level. Softly, he takes the banana milk and straw from her, before he quickly poked the straw through the top, handing it over to her. “thank you, mister!” she spoke, excitement lacing her voice as she smiled the happiness smile, and lips moving to take a drink of that sweet banana milk. He patted her head, “your welcome. Make sure to cover up well,” he said to her, before he’d make his way away, mask going back over his mouth, and sunglasses over his eyes.

It takes him a good amount of time to make it to where he was going – which was the office of is legal team. He took the beanie, the mask, and the sunglasses off of his head, placing them into his pocket. He made it early for his appointment; but he could feel his heart beating. Was that something that was normal? Probably, it had to be, he was drafting his will. It only felt right that he was doing such a thing; again, it was that fear that sat within him, something that had caught him to him; a secret fear he had for the longest time. His eyes looked down at the floor, his leg bouncing up and down out of nervousness. He let his mind focus on something else, like the color of the rug upon the floor, or the sound of the tapping of the keyboard from the receptionist. The sound of a door opening, “Ah, Duri!” The voice says, before Duri stands up with a soft smile, “Hello,” he says, bowing towards him. “Follow me,” he stated, before Duri would make his way following after him.

Entering the room, he greets the two other members, a male slightly older them him, as well as a female around the same age; as well as an intern that was overlooking what was going on that day. Though, she was asked to step out for this matter; even though Duri had said it was fine (it was most likely due to his status and his legal team having nervousness about whatever was being done getting leaked; though, she wasn’t going to be saying anything about him actually showing up there, so it was going to be a-okay.) His hand reached into his pocket, pulling out the folded up paper, which he unfolded, and let out another deep breath. “I want to draft my will,” he stated, before passing the paper across the table. He didn’t write it officially; he wasn’t actually entirely sure how to actually write it, before he had gotten his thoughts out on it, as well as who in his life would receive what. There was a simple nod from the three that sat at the table with him, before they would begin writing it officially.

“Wren,

I hope you aren’t receiving this until much later in life. But, I’m writing this at twenty-five because I’m so scared that I’m going to leave early just like my parents did… it’s foolish but I’m so scared, so please, don’t receive this until much, much later. I’m hoping that I don’t meet a fate like an accident like my parents; I’m going to live a long, healthy life with you. I want to be safe and know that I did this safety precaution in case something happens to me that I can’t control. But for now, I’m going to be giving what’s most precious to me to different people.

Bae Yoorin/Wren will get Star; he is the greatest gift to me from her; I believe that he is hers as well as he loves her as much as I do; take good care of him if you receive this too soon. She will get the apartment and furniture, as well as the clothes in the closet. As well as ____ amount of money.

Choi Hyejung; the box of my mother’s jewelry sits in the middle right hand drawer of the dresser underneath all the shirts. Please take good care of it for her and I. _____ amount of money goes to her.

Lee Sooyeon; If I’m leaving too early, take care of yourself kiddo and stay out of trouble, okay? I know a lot of things are hard, but I promise they’ll be so much better! _____ amount of money goes to her.

Kim Taeri and Kim Mari; My god-children, uncle loves you a lot; I hope you know that. I’m planning on seeing you grow up right before my eyes, I plan on making sure my fear doesn’t become a reality! But, they will receive all the games I have that they like so much, please be sure to give them the panda and polar bear mugs that they like so much. ______ amount of money goes to each of them for their college educations.

Oh Eunki; Take care of Hyejung for me if I meet the same fate as mom and dad, okay? I have a few of dad’s things, you know what they are; I know you’ll really like them and he’ll want you to have it. So many words could be said, but I’m not sure where to start… thank you, uncle.  _____ amount of money goes to Oh Eunki.

Park Taekjo; Auntie, There’s so many things that I can say to you but I don’t know how to put them into words. I wish there was something special that I could give to you, but unfortunately there’s nothing of that sort. But knowing you, I know you’d yell at me for gifting you it. But, I’m going to make sure you get money anyways to treat yourself. ____ amount of money goes to Park Taekjo.”

A fear made him foolish enough to believe he would leave so soon, go in the way his parents left; the thing that scarred him the most and kept him up at night.... even scared him from sleeping because he knows he’s going to relive the car accident in his dream. His head was so messed him, he so badly needed help, and he knew that as he was signing the paper to secure it completely. What was one to do? How could he ask for the help that he so desperately needed? To make him not fear what he completely feared? It made him jump so high in his mind. The post-traumatic stress disorder stayed, at this point, it was a constant in his life. Should he see someone? How was he going to make himself do it and believe that it was, in fact going to be okay?

He sulked as he walked down the stairs, before completely sitting down on the stairs, staring down at the texture of the stairs. He couldn’t help but to burst out crying, “I’m so scared… I’m so scared.”