#curious caterer lb

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: curious caterer: dying for chocolate

so, i’ve seen parts of the first two movies and i do know who the killer is in this one but i’ve never fully watched either of them so i thought it’d be fun to liveblog all 3!!

off topic but nikki is so beautiful

not biscuits 😭

i wonder if laura still would’ve died if brad hadn’t interrupted her when she was trying to talk to goldie about what was going on

brad, she’s just not that into you

or maybe she is, since she just asked him out? lmao

“marla!” “that is exactly what these shortbread said when i walked in. they went ‘marla.’ they called my name and now we’re in love.” “well, as long as the beignets weren’t talking to you. archie dennison is already in a committed relationship with them.” “ooh, i wonder if adele knows? maybe she’ll catch him in the act with the beignets.” i love them 😭😭

i love that goldie and richard have such a good relationship, it’s way better than when the ex husband is an asshole

tom was such a jerk in the beginning 😭

so glad goldie and brad didn’t end up together, nikki and antonio have zero chemistry

owen comforting goldie and telling her to let him know if he can help with laura’s funeral like he didn’t kill her

i wonder if laura was having an affair with archie or if she was helping julian

mason is so scared of tom, it’s hilarious

“well, you were definitely trespassing this time.” “you gonna arrest me?” “don’t tempt me.” that was so flirty???

“i was just in surgery and handed over the scalpel.” goldie’s face was priceless 😭

“detective. did you come to arrest me?” “i’m beginning to think you wanna be arrested.” she just really wants him to put her in handcuffs

OH SHIT, BRAD WAS LAURA’S EX?

goldie’s face when marla told her laura and brad were together is sending me so bad

“brad and i are having dinner.” “…oh.” not his voice going up like two octaves 😭 my guy is jealous

“maybe you could be there, too.” i don’t think he’s interested in being a third

“i should bring a date.” the way he said it…he was trying to make her jealous, too lmao

mason is so adorable

“i imagined an affair.” “did you imagine the same thing with your first husband?” dfkgkd

“i used to have a major crush on goldie when she was my babysitter.” “really?” “she used to bring me delicious treats in mason jars. thought she had the jars specifically made for me.” LMAO. tom is trying so hard not to laugh 😭

woah, brad was gonna propose

i did not know they entertained the idea of marla being the killer

“i’m surprised you lasted three years” lmaooo goldie’s so shady

owen is insane

“i was closer.” i love goldie

can’t wait for them to go canon 🫶🏼

fucking mason 😭

this was a solid introduction but so far, the sequel is still my favorite!!

[swallowtailed]

palisade 57 / finalisade side b track 1: sundews :)

[chubby-dumpling]

SPOILERS down below for MLB's new episode "Wishmaker"!

I want to say I was mentally prepared for this episode since 99% of the fandom predicted Luka would finally know LB and Chat's identities, but I was, in fact, not ready.

I'm honestly so shocked by how great this episode was, not only for the reveal, but also for the themes being addressed. I feel like the writers knew the audience they were catering this episode to. Heck, as a uni student myself, some of the dialogue hit pretty close to home. The humor was a great relief as well (the cucumber bit actually had me crying, it was so random)! Here are some of my favorite moments from today's episode:

-The face Marinette makes when handing Adrien the pamphlet is adorable

-Mr. Damocles leaving the room to change into his costume while the class sits in silence was hilarious

-Adrien not knowing what he wants to do with his life was honestly the saddest thing. His father has controlled him for so long, he hasn't even had the ability to think about a future where he decides what he does! Plagg cheering him up was cute, though!

-The hint at Adrien thinking he won't be needed as Chat anymore broke my heart

-The little montage of Andre finding his passion with the digital art in the background was really well done

-Luka creating instruments and telling Adrien and Marinette they will "find what is already in front of them", not-so-subtly hinting at their secret identities

-Wishmaker's design is top-tier! Seriously the best-designed villain of the show, in my opinion

-LadyNoir being cute, but Chat still being sad about his lack of dreams

-The cucumber. Need I say more?

-Oh, how I've missed the Viperion transformation sequence! It was *chef's kiss*

-THE REVEAL, OMG! Luka was so calm about it, but I can't believe he knows!

-I love that Shadow Moth had a different reaction to Adrien being Chat in this episode vs Chat Blanc. His previous reaction irks me a little, and I'm glad to see he had some feelings

-I'm conflicted on how to feel about Adrien's childhood dream. Him being who his parents wanted him to be depends on what it is they want out of him. We know Gabriel only orders him around to promote his own business, but we don't yet know about Emilie. Perhaps she just wanted him to grow to follow his heart; in that case, that's a great dream! On the other hand, this means Adriens never even had a wish of his own, which is quite depressing.

-The Dino Huggie guy is so precious and must be protected at all costs!

-Luka didn't say anything! I'm honestly curious to see what this means in the future! We know Luka's very trustworthy, and it's exciting to know that someone out there knows both of their identities!

-Adrien looked so happy at the end! Glad we got some Luka and Adrien interaction this episode! I think they would make great friends!

-Alec looked so epic at the end!

Aaaand of course, this epic screenshot:

[ninjacat1515]

An incredibly tired human wanders into a supernatural supermarket at night, the "doorway" having been left open by a forgetful clerk. The human gets a shopping cart and starts putting items in, going down the aisle catering to vampires and passing by the extensive refrigerated section of different bloods from both animal and human-- ethically sourced. Candied bugs, preserved rodents, liver, heart and bone marrow products. A vampire mother and her kids are buying snacks, her baby giving an inquisitive trill when the human goes by. "Mommy look! A human!" Her 6 year old points out, but not in a wicked manner. Simply a curious observation. "Don't point, Jasper. It's rude. Yes, that is a human. They're probably getting stuff for their friends." In the next section of the store, the fish monger area is in full swing; harpies and seafolk of various kinds ordering or filling orders. Next door to that, the butcher counter has a throng of werewolves, zombies and ghouls. Poultry, beef, pork, lamb, deer and rabbit. No human products. Human gets a few lbs of lamb, garnering some surprised looks. They head for the produce department, and luckily avoids a few poisonous plants. Dryads, centaurs and fairies are busy either tending to the displays or carefully selecting them. Heaps of specialty grasses are on sale, fruits of all colors, roots, and vegetables. At the end of the hour, the human has a loaded cart and checks out, earning a few more stares. The produce, meats and other products are so high quality the human is eager to return the following week. But is unable to find the store. The lot they parked in days prior, looks like it has been abandoned for years. The store itself doesn't appear to be in better condition. Doors and windows boarded, paint and signs faded and worn from time. Shocked, the human sits in their car, baffled. Eventually they chalk it up to being tired and think they just have gone elsewhere. But then they come across the receipt from their shopping spree. And the address matches the location exactly.

[menuandprice]

Stonefire Grill Menu Prices

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Stonefire Grill Menu Prices

Stonefire Grill is an American restaurant that has several locations across the United States. Their menu includes sandwiches, pizza, salads, pasta, family meals, sweet desserts, and lots more. Stonefire Grill’s menu prices are not very pricey, their meals taste great, and it’s always freshly prepared. Their friendly staff always welcomes customers who visit Stonefire Grill, and the dining experience is exceptional. New Stonefire Grill Menu Prices; Salads Garden Salad$5.29-$16.49Caesar with Grilled Chicken Breast$7.29-$21.49Traditional Greek$6.29-$18.49Italian Chopped$7.49-$22.49Cobb$7.49-$22.49South of the Border$7.49-$22.49Keen Green$9.99Roasted Corn & Arugula$7.29The A.B.G.$7.29Caesar$5.29-$16.49Cartwheel$5.29-$16.49BBQ Chopped$7.49-$22.49Spinach$7.49-$22.49Grilled Salad$7.49-$22.49Asian Salad$7.49Healthy Hybrid$8.99Golden State Kale$7.29Stonefire Grill Menu Prices Pasta Marinara$5.99-$16.99Tomesto$6.99-$18.99Macaroni & Cheese$6.99-$18.99Pesto$6.99-$18.99Baked Rigatoni with Meat Sauce & Mozzarella$9.99-$21.99Stonefire Grill Menu Prices Pizza Roasted Veggie$10.59-$18.59Pepperoni$7.99-$15.99Tomato & Basil$7.99-$15.99The Works$9.59-$17.59Mesquite BBQ Chicken$10.59-$18.5910" Margherita$7.99Traditional Cheese$6.99-$14.59Italian Sausage$7.99-$15.59Stonefire's Favorite$10.59-$18.59Cheeseless Roasted Veggie$8.59-$16.59Mesquite BBQ Tri Tip$8.59-$16.59Stonefire Grill Menu Prices Sandwiches Traditional Turkey$7.49Turkey Salad$7.49The Caprese$8.49BBQ Beef$8.99French Dip Au Jus$8.99Pulled Pork$8.49Italian Turkey$7.49Roasted Cauliflower Pita$6.49Steak & Cheese$8.49BBQ Chicken Wrap$7.49Grilled Chicken Pesto$8.49Stonefire Grill Menu Prices From The Grill 1/4 Chicken & Ribs - Meal$13.49Boneless Chicken Breast - Meal$11.491/2 Chicken - Meal$10.49Tri Tip - Meal$9.49Tri Tip - Ala$15.991/2 Slab Baby Back Ribs - Ala$14.49Shrimp8 - $11.49 16 - $20.99Salmon - Meal$13.491/4 Chicken & Tri Tip - Meal$12.49Boneless Chicken Breast & Tri Tip - Meal$15.49Baby Back Ribs - Ala$20.99Boneless Chicken Breast & Ribs - Meal$16.49Boneless Chicken Breast - Ala$9.491/2 Chicken - Ala$8.49Whole Chicken - Ala$14.99Tri Tip - Meal 10-12 oz$15.49Tri Tip - Ala Whole 2 Pounds$27.991/2 Slab Baby Back Ribs - Meal$16.49Shrimp - Meal$14.49Salmon - Ala 1/2 lb. Filet$10.49Salmon - Ala 1 lb Filet$18.99Boneless Chicken Breast & Tri Tip$11.99Tri Tip & Ribs - Meal$16.49Baby Back Ribs - Meal$22.99Stonefire Grill Menu Prices

menu stonefire grill Family Meals Tri TipWhole - $37.99Chicken Breasts3 Boneless - $36.991/2 Tri Tip & Full Slab of Ribs$43.992 Medium Sides$9.59ChickenWhole - $27.991/2 Chicken & Full Slab of Ribs$39.9912" Two-Topping Pizza$11.99Stonefire Grill Menu Prices Sides Quinoa$1.99-$10.49Garlic Mashed Potatoes$1.59-$8.99Cowboy Beans$1.59-$8.99Nutty Coleslaw$1.59-$8.99Cauliflower Salad$1.59-$8.99Roasted Cauliflower$5.99Chicken Tortilla Soup$3.99-$6.99Roasted Vegetables$4.99-$8.99Freshly Baked BreadsticksIndividual - $0.49 Full Basket - $4.99 Half Basket - $2.79Roasted Vegetables with Feta Cheese$5.99-$9.99Stonefire Grill Menu Prices Kids Menu Cheese Pizza7" - $4.99Pasta with Butter & Cheese$4.59Pasta with Marinara$4.59Cheese Quesadilla$4.59Macaroni & Cheese$4.99Chicken Strips$4.99Kid's Baby Back Ribs$7.99Stonefire Grill Menu Prices Dessert Heavenly Cheesecake$3.49-$5.79Our Famous Fudge Brownies$2.29-$3.49Our Incredible Carrot Cake$3.49-$5.79Sandy's Cookie$2.79Stonefire Grill Menu Prices ver noticed the murals at our restaurants? They tell a unique story, one specific to the Harrigan family, and we’re here to share it with you. Sub Zero Ice Cream Menu Prices https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQmgmAvgKyE Taco Casa Menu Prices As an homage to the roots that helped establish who we are, we intend to feature pictures from the our family murals to tell the story of the Harrigan, STONEFIRE and our culture/values. As every story needs a great beginning, the key to ours rests in the Harrigan family patriarch, a man driven by purpose. John “Jack” Louis Harrigan set out to instill the values of hard work and mutual respect for others in each of his 9 children, and these values form the foundation of our business, our happiness to serve. Sweetgreen Menu Prices What company owns stonefire?Stonefire Grill was acquired by Goode Partners on Oct 26, 2016 .Are stonefire breadsticks vegan?Vegan sides are as followed: Freshly Baked Breadsticks (plain), Quinoa, Nutty Coleslaw, Cauliflower Salad, Whole Roasted Cauliflower, and Roasted Vegetables (no feta). They also have a Cheeseless Roasted Veggie Pizza and the Roasted Cauliflower Pita.Who is the CEO of Stonefire Grill?Bryan Lockwood is the Executive Chairman/CEO of Stonefire Grill in Agoura Hills, CA. Read the full article

[buckybarnesappreciationsociety]

Star Light, Star Bright

Summary:  In response to Taw’s AU Writing Challenge, my prompt is “it’s positive.”

I wanted to establish a backstory leading up Y/N’s pregnancy. So, I sprinkled a pinch of angst, mentions of infertility and maximum fluff!!!

Taw, hope you’re pleased and thanks for allowing me to be a part of this challenge.

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 798

Warnings: Mentions of infertility and a boatload of fluff.

A/N: This is unchartered territory for me. The inability to conceive is unfathomable. No way am I making light of infertility.

The time was right to step out of the spotlight and have a life outside of the Avengers. James Buchanan Barnes knew after he married Y/N, field work took a backseat to married life. He even took a page from Clint’s book and built a nice house for Y/N in the same area as the Bartons. Bucky now trained new recruits and his wife settled into domestic bliss quite well. She pursued her dream and became an author.

In spite of the triggers being removed, the world still saw The Winter Soldier. That’s when the idea for her best selling book was birthed. Y/N was infuriated with the media’s portrayal of her husband. The title was powerful, “There’s Good In Him: The Real James Buchanan Barnes.” After the success of her book, when they went out to the movies, dinner or grocery store, people would thank him for his service and kids loved to see the metal arm because it was cool. There was one thing missing…...a baby.

Bucky and Y/N dreams were quickly doused when the doctor revealed a blockage in one of her fallopian tubes. A laparoscopy or open abdominal surgery was the only alternative. Bucky didn’t like either choice.  They had a serious decision to make. Thanking the doctor, the Barnes’ walked out feeling quite dejected.

The inconceivable notion of no children haunted their thoughts from time to time. Bucky suggested adoption. Y/N said ‘no’ but didn’t rule out the idea. What they needed was a miracle, coupled with faith.

One balmy night after dinner, lounging in their hammock, Y/N’s attention turned to a star that shined brighter than the rest.

“James, do you see that star? Oh my goodness, it’s so bright.”

“Yeah s’pretty.”

“Our baby’s sending us a message sweetheart.” A tear slipped down her jaw.

Bucky didn’t want to sound negative, he simply cradled her in his arms and kissed the top of her head”

A year and a half passed since her diagnosis. One evening, Bucky noticed how Y/N became drained performing the simplest tasks. She brushed it off as overexertion. During a visit to the compound, everyone was enjoying a delectable catered meal when Y/N had to leave the table, holding her stomach and ran to the restroom. Her attentive husband followed. Bucky found her passed out on the floor.  Dr. Cho and Bruce rushed her to the medical wing for an exam.

Y/N’s symptoms prompted the curious doctor to perform a pregnancy test. Dr. Cho’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “I cannot believe this! Y/N, it’s positive. You’re pregnant!”

Bucky held Y/N sobbing uncontrollably. She laid her dainty hand on his stubbled jaw. “It’s really happening.  We’re gonna be parents.”

After composing himself, Bucky inquired, “How far along is she?”

“She’s 2 months. I’ll give you a prescription for prenatal vitamins, but it’s imperative  Y/N follow up with an Obstetrician. Given her prior diagnosis, she’ll probably need lots of rest.”

“Trust me, she won’t lift a finger for the next 7 months.”

Bucky shook Dr. Cho and Bruce’s  hands vigorously. “Thank you so much.”

Y/N and her excited spouse placed their hands on her stomach, “Hey there Rebecca Faith, it’s your momma and daddy. We love you so much our little miracle.”

To ensure Y/N got proper rest, Tony hired contractors to build an addition to their house. A bedroom with full bath, fully stocked baby area and a bedside mini-refrigerator loaded with water, juice, milk, pickles and ice cream. The flamboyant billionaire even installed an AI system, W.E.D.N.E.S.D.A.Y. It took some getting used to, but eventually Bucky warmed up to “her.”

The months passed swiftly. At 8 months, Y/N could no longer walk without assistance. Her bulging belly made mobility difficult. Bucky didn’t mind at all. It gave him another excuse to cater to her every need.

Time arrived for the newest Avenger to make an entrance. Rebecca Faith Barnes weighed 8 lbs. 3 ozs,19 inches long with dark mocha hair and shimmering blue eyes. Bucky beamed as he fawned over Y/N and Becca. She truly was the brightest star in the sky, illuminating her parents heartache into pure bliss.

[brightlotusmoon]

CN talk of size, weight, clothing, past anorexia.

.

. .

OMG. So, we went to one those dollar plus stores, and there was a table of skinny jeans. I naturally chose a size up because they didn’t have my regular size anyway. And those bigger jeans, a size up, passed my neck wrap test perfectly. I got blue and dark blue, they were $20 each.

Went home and tried them on. They fit like thick leggings. No waist gap at all, it was like gloves. Felt like satin, sliding over the thickest part of my thighs. The inseam was a couple inches long and it bunched at the ankle but it was comfortable. Remember, I am four-ten. The 7/8 size even had enough room so I could push out my belly, which is another important test, to see how well the waist could stretch.

Curious, I looked at the tag and saw that they were mostly ramie, with cotton, polyester, spandex. Ramie is a freaking amazing material, I forgot it was used in pants! Cool. In a couple months I plan on going back and getting a couple more pairs, maybe two sizes up just in case.

Earlier at Rugged Warehouse, I looked at boys and men’s jeans. The 30 was the only one that fit for my hips but the waist gap was clown like. There were no boys jeans large enough. I tried a 16 and my thighs laughed. My hips are 36-37, my waist 24-26. Couldn’t women’s pants just be numbers like that? Are my numbers so odd? Numbers confuse me.

You know, it makes me think about Vanity Sizing and obsession over being small and slim, being able to humblebrag when your trouser and dress size is, like, two or four.

I am only four feet ten and one quarter inches. In my early twenties, I used to be obsessive about being the skinniest because I was so damn short. I once wore an infant tee that fit under my bust. I was anorexic and emaciated, but I was thinner than everyone, my weight was in the double digits and I was proud, I was tiny, I was what society and industry desired. Right? My college friends tried to make me eat caloric foods. I loved mozzarella sticks. My friends were afraid and worried, giving me tuna and cheese and steak. My face was hollow, my ribs easy to touch. I smiled in the mirror and wore children’s clothes.

At my own wedding, photos showed a glowing snow white dress hanging on a pale snow white bride who seemed hollow, and I barely touched the catered food. Months passed and my new groom cooked extravagant balanced meals that I ate with joy. For my job in a law firm Library I walked and moved every day and ate high calorie food. My coworkers gave me snacks and asked how I felt. When I gained enough weight to break 100 lbs, texting my friends, friends of friends would murmur “oh, look at your friend, who is she, she is beautiful, she is stunning, she glows, we must know who she is.” My friends smiled proudly.

I had filled out, no longer hollow, I was moonlight poured into round curved flesh, flourished and nurtured.

For some time in the past couple of years, I was at a “healthful” weight, or a weight that was balanced to fit me. In the past couple of months I lost fat and revealed muscle and I’m not used to it. I look at inches lost in my buttocks and waist and my mind will always be skewed and messed up by anorexia. In my younger years I would have cheered and felt beautiful, ideal culturally right, good enough to be Admired, look everyone look how small I am.

But these skinny jeans, a size bigger, make me happy and delighted. They bring me a joy better than the kind I had in my mid twenties when getting thinner mattered, when numbers mattered. My hips will never shrink to the measurements of Victoria Secret models. My hips are the hips of my Mediterranean and Russian-Asian ancestor women, strong and hearty. I am not a size two anymore and I don’t care. I’m not an actress or model who must fit into a sample size. Even if I were, it wouldn’t matter. I was and am an artists’ model, they love hips. I’ve worked for my mother, who teaches art anatomy drawing courses and I’m one of her best fluid models, my poses convey motion and power, and my curved form is fun to sketch. Mom paints me from memory, even when I was anorexic she filled me out gently.

Anyway I got off track. Maybe I got a little condescending. It’s fine, though. I’m older than I was and I’ve learned more. (“In modern Western usage, the word condescension, condescending, has a strictly negative connotation due to an egalitarian conception of relationships. In the past, the word could be used in a positive sense when a person of higher status was willing to introduce a high degree of mutuality into their relationships with people of lower status.”) A Tumblr anonymous pm called me that regarding my TMNT rants, condescending, and I felt thankful. I am occasionally wise with knowledge. Check out my sage mountain, yo. 28 years. Of course I want to introduce a degree of mutuality.

Aaaanyways. Uh. Wooow. Okay. The, uh, the skinny jeans found at the Dollar And More store next to the HMart. The ones made out of Ramie.

(Brand names are Bamboo for the light blue, Tush Push for the dark blue. They are basically the same except for the sequins. I like the Bamboo better, just a little. I need to take a selfie or have husband Adam take a photo. Srsly, no waist gap, not even for this lady with hyperlordosis. I feel like I won something.)

I think the whole point is that I am okay with the me that I am. I only just realized I am gendervague femme demigirl after all, which probably played a part. I think I’ll get my eyebrows waxed finally, but I’m not wearing a dress without pants. And I’ll never wear heels unless they’re boots. See this is why I love the TMNT. They’re only half human. They don’t need to worry about girly and manly things. Mikey looks amazing in a dress, does Donnie. I don’t know if they can fit in skinny jeans but they would rock them, think about the muscles. I finally have visible muscles. Physical therapy for cerebral palsy does me well.

This is literally a ranty ramble right now. *laugh*

[alberichfoster]

PROMPT 02: STATISTICS

BASICS:

Given Name: Alberich Lucas Foster Nicknames: Rich Age: 81 Date of Birth: October 21 Place of birth: Rochester, NY, USA Gender: Male Pronouns: He/His/Him Sexuality: Homosexual  Religion: Norse Occupation: Bartender (Previously, Owned own catering business for two decades, and prior was a chef for several decades.) Face Claim: Aaron Tveit RELATIONSHIPS:

Parent’s names: Gullveig (Mother) and Lucas (Father) Relationship with parents: Exceptionally close with both until his father passed, and then   Sibling’s names: None Family member they’re most close to: Mother Closest friends: Avery Arden Rivals: – Enemies: – Heroes: – Crushes: – Pets: – Relationship status: Single. PHYSICAL TRAITS:

Height: 6′0′’ Weight: 165 lbs Natural Hair Color: Dark Brown Current Hair Color: Dark Brown Wings, If applicable: Thin gold wings, the bottom half being bigger than the top, akin to an elongated, narrow butterfly wing. Eye Color: Blue Birthmarks/Scars: One scar across his back shoulder blade, straight through part of his soul tattoo Tattoos and Piercings: Entire arm covered in soul marking, and a tree-like tattoo design just above his heart. Notable traits:  Athletic build, usually has a bit of scruff if he doesn’t shave daily. Right handed or left handed?: Right  PERSONALITY:

Five traits: Compassionate, Graceful, Forgiving, Curious, Anxious Hobbies: Cooking, Baking, Singing, Gardening, & firearms. Moral Alignment: Lawful Neutral Phobias / Fears: Feeling trapped, having his freedom stripped from him (again.) (Faint PTSD.)  Best Quality: Loyal (to a fault? I swear it’s a good thing.) Worst Quality:  Carelessly Impulsive How do they feel toward drugs?: Weed yes, everything else nope. Toward cigarettes?: He’s had a few here and there, but not really his thing.  Favorite type of music: Pop (Guilty pleasure.) Favorite color: Blue Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff Element: Earth (Though he lacks any abilities tied to it.)

[robertkstone]

2019 Bentley Continental GT W12 First Test: If You Got It, Do You Still Flaunt It?

Call it the Ocasio-Cortez Effect.

We are witnessing a pendulum swing of sorts—a backlash against the trappings of excessive wealth and conspicuous consumption—as signified by the election of the New York Congresswoman and her democratic socialist cohort.

So it isn’t a surprise that being seen in a gleaming Extreme Silver Bentley Continental GT W12, with its $276,730 sticker price, ain’t as cool as it used to be. Whereas such exotica used to invite a curious double take, now the driver can expect a direct, confrontational stare, with more than a wisp of resentment, bordering on contempt.

And let’s be clear, the only person who purposely buys a Bentley Continental GT W12 is wealthy, not merely rich. As Chris Rock once said, “Shaq is rich. The white guy who signs Shaq’s check is wealthy.” Rich guys buy Lambos. Bentleys are for those who blithely state that they are “comfortable” when asked about their standard of living. And for all the brand’s claims of restrained, stately luxury, a Bentley is still one of this planet’s most brazen displays of vehicular affluence.

Americans generally aren’t against someone making their fortune. It’s called the American Dream for a reason. But today, we live in an era of bro-noxious Trustifarians, rapacious landlords, reality-show brats, hedge fund manipulators, external consultants who make seven-figure bonuses for “right-sizing” 30 percent of your staff, and CEOs who make 361 times as much as the average worker salary.

Never has the disparity between The Rich and The Rest been so acute. Might the next steampunk trend be artisanal guillotines?

So it was with a certain hesitancy that I piloted this gleaming, bespoke product of Crewe, England, through the streets of Los Angeles—the glitziest, most glamour-consumed megalopolis on the planet. Some luxury automakers have regional offices to cater solely to the customers who occupy the stretch of coastline between Santa Barbara and San Diego. If you are seeking a concentration of wealth spread over a 200-mile-long-by-1-mile-wide space, this is it.

Yes, there are enclaves where the Continental GT is more than welcome. Pulling up to the Riviera Country Club in tony Pacific Palisades, the club valet waves me through the porte cochère without asking for the key: “You can park wherever you want.”

As for the great concrete plain of the L.A. Basin, the reaction from the general population was … less gracious. All of which is unfortunate, because the redesigned Bentley Continental GT W12 is a splendid example of a modern-era grand touring coupe.

In our tests, this 5,019-pound beast gets from standstill to 60 mph in 3.3 seconds, turns the quarter mile in 11.6 seconds at 120.8 mph, can carry 0.99 g on the skidpad, and whips through our figure eight in 23.8 seconds.

What does the preceding spex spew actually mean? The Bentley is quicker to 60 than a Porsche 911 GT3, boogies through the quarter faster than the dragstrip-purposed Hellcat Redeye, has more lateral grip than Subaru WRX STI Type RA, and figure eights more zealously than an Aston Martin Vantage. The Bentley Continental GT is more than just a pretty status symbol.

And it is much more than an ostentatious sporting machine. That it feels the same underfoot cruising posh neighborhoods at 35 mph as it does barreling down a late-night stretch of freeway at 95 is the ultimate expression of a truly premium vehicle.

Its relentless surge of acceleration is quite thrilling—surprise, it has launch control—given that you’re motivating a two-and-a-half-ton vehicle. Road test editor Chris Walton says: “It accelerates like an electric vehicle, with ‘all the torques.’ It feels exponential.” All the torques? Yes, 664 of them produced by the 6.0-liter W-12. It’s not the sort of twitchy, semi-terrifying rush of a Lamborghini; it’s more akin to a locomotive’s unstoppable force, just more so.

Speaking of unstoppable … how are the brakes? Impressive. Are they up to the task of bringing the Conti to a retina-detaching halt if a deer suddenly leaps in front? Answer: Yes, despite having an awful lot of car to stop. From 60 to 0 mph in 105 feet ain’t quite supercar territory, but it’s downright impressive for a car of this girth. What’s more, attests assistant road test editor Erick Ayapana, the Continental GT has “excellent fade resistance; the brakes like a little heat.”

Which may be partly why, on cold mornings especially, the steel discs whine in protest. Normally the reserve of carbon-fiber brakes, the racket from these iron chompers was enough to wake the neighbors—more so than the engine’s throaty bark at startup.

Similarly, the price you pay for the performance of the meaty Pirelli P Zeros (275/35R22 front; 315/30R22 rear) is the intrusive din of tire roar in the cabin. But in exchange, Walton states, “Grip in the skidpad is surprisingly high. The steering weight is just right. As the understeer goes away mid-skidpad, I can start feeding throttle, feel the front tires start to put the power down, and the tail starts to walk a bit.” In short, the Bentley is Gronkowski performing a pas de chat.

But Bentleys are ostensibly also about transporting their occupants in relaxed splendor, and here the Continental W12 falls a bit flat. The Comfort suspension setting is a bit underwhelming. I expected some sort of floating pillow, filled with zephyrs and angel feathers. Instead it was just a less sporty setting, with plenty of jolts and bumps from the road impacting my driver’s throne. Yes, I understand what the “GT” suffix means and entails. This was just a bit … much.

It’s the interior where the luxury truly shines. All the switchgear feels so elegant in its swing, detent, and rotation. The chrome organ-stop pulls and knurled knobs, combined with all that leather, feel like you’re lounging in some monarch’s hidden lair. What few pieces of plastic exist remain well hidden. Then there’s the secret rotating central display, which adjusts to suit your preference whether you like your information in analog or digital form—or you can silence it entirely behind a polished wooden fascia. Whirring through those panels never gets old; you hear yourself chortling like an 1890s land baron.

The diamond-quilted leather seats (in a choice of 15 colors) pamper with settings for five types of massage and as many intensities for each. Unfortunately, the rear seats are vestigial, less in keeping with transporting passengers than the stowage of your fascinator en route to the royal wedding.

Like any elite club, the Bentley provides the occasional passive-aggressive reminder that there are others who are ever so slightly more elite (the British are nothing if not about maintaining the class structure). So it was a bit startling to be curtly prompted by the display screen that—even though I purportedly had shelled out more than a quarter-million dollars—this particular Bentley trim level did not come with satellite radio or live-traffic navigation. Strewth!

And at this price point, wouldn’t you expect the Bentley’s Apple CarPlay integration to be crisper than that of its proletarian VW Jetta cousin? Or that pushing forward on the gearshift to engage reverse wouldn’t mean the heel of your palm would routinely activate the park button instead?

These are petty annoyances, sure. But what makes the rich different from the rest of us is that they can dismiss these trifles as part of the car’s personality. The Continental W12 is a magnificent beast, unaffordable to all but the very few. Whether they care if they are admired or denounced for their purchase is something you’ll have to ask them for yourself.

2019 Bentley Continental (GT Coupe W12) BASE PRICE $219,925 PRICE AS TESTED $276,730 VEHICLE LAYOUT Front-engine, AWD, 4-pass, 2-door coupe ENGINE 6.0L/626-hp/664-lb-ft twin-turbo, 2 x DOHC 48-valve W-12 TRANSMISSION 8-speed twin-clutch auto CURB WEIGHT (F/R DIST) 5,019 lb (55/45%) WHEELBASE 112.2 in LENGTH x WIDTH x HEIGHT 190.9 x 76.9 x 55.3 in 0-60 MPH 3.3 sec QUARTER MILE 11.6 sec @ 120.8 mph BRAKING, 60-0 MPH 105 ft LATERAL ACCELERATION 0.99 g (avg) MT FIGURE EIGHT 23.8 sec @ 0.85 g (avg) EPA CITY/HWY/COMB FUEL ECON Not tested ENERGY CONS, CITY/HWY Not tested CO2 EMISSIONS, COMB Not tested

IFTTT

[buckybarnesappreciationsociety]

“Brightest Star”

 Summary:  In response to @tatortot2701 AU Writing Challenge, my prompt is “it’s positive.”

I wanted to establish a backstory leading up Y/N’s pregnancy. So, I sprinkled a pinch of angst, mentions of infertility and maximum fluff!!!

Tay, hope you’re pleased and thanks for allowing me to be a part of this challenge.

 Words: 798

 Warnings: Mentions of infertility and a boatload of fluff.

 A/N: This is unchartered territory for me. The inability to conceive is unfathomable. No way am I making light of infertility.

 The time was right to step out of the spotlight and have a life outside of the Avengers. James Buchanan Barnes knew after he married Y/N, field work took a backseat to married life. He even took a page from Clint’s book and built a nice house for Y/N in the same area as the Bartons. Bucky now trained new recruits and his wife settled into domestic bliss quite well. She pursued her dream and became an author.

  In spite of the triggers being removed, the world still saw The Winter Soldier. That’s when the idea for her best selling book was birthed. Y/N was infuriated with the media’s portrayal of her husband. The title was powerful, “There’s Good In Him: The Real James Buchanan Barnes.” After the success of her book, when they went out to the movies, dinner or grocery store, people would thank him for his service and kids loved to see the metal arm because it was cool. There was one thing missing…...a baby.

 Bucky and Y/N dreams were quickly doused when the doctor revealed a blockage in one of her fallopian tubes. A laparoscopy or open abdominal surgery was the only alternative. Bucky didn’t like either choice.  They had a serious decision to make. Thanking the doctor, the Barnes’ walked out feeling quite dejected.

 The inconceivable notion of no children haunted their thoughts from time to time. Bucky suggested adoption; Y/N said ‘no’ but kept the option open. What they needed was a miracle, coupled with faith.

  One balmy night after dinner, lounging in their hammock, Y/N’s attention turned to a star that shined brighter than the rest.

“James, do you see that star? Oh my goodness, it’s so bright.”

“Yeah s’pretty.”

“Our baby’s sending us a message sweetheart.” A tear slipped down her jaw.

Bucky didn’t want to sound negative, he simply cradled her in his arms and kissed the top of her head.

 A year and a half passed since her diagnosis. One evening, Bucky noticed how Y/N became drained performing the simplest tasks. She brushed it off as overexertion. During a visit to the compound, everyone was enjoying a delectable catered meal when Y/N had to leave the table, holding her stomach and ran to the restroom. Her attentive husband followed. Bucky found her passed out on the floor.  Dr. Cho and Bruce rushed her to the medical wing for an exam.

 Y/N’s symptoms prompted the curious doctor to perform a pregnancy test. Dr. Cho’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “I cannot believe this! Y/N, it’s positive. You’re pregnant!”

 Bucky held Y/N sobbing uncontrollably. She laid her dainty hand on his stubbled jaw. “It’s really happening.  We’re gonna be parents.”

 After composing himself, Bucky inquired, “How far along is she?”

 “She’s 2 months. I’ll give you a prescription for prenatal vitamins, but it’s imperative  Y/N follow up with an Obstetrician. Given her prior diagnosis, she’ll probably need lots of rest.”

 “Trust me, she won’t lift a finger for the next 7 months.”

 Bucky shook Dr. Cho and Bruce’s  hands vigorously. “Thank you so much.”

 Y/N and her excited spouse placed their hands on her stomach, “Hey there Rebecca Faith, it’s your momma and daddy. We love you so much our little miracle.”

 To ensure Y/N got proper rest, Tony hired contractors to build an addition to their house. A bedroom with full bath, fully stocked baby area and a bedside mini-refrigerator loaded with water, juice, milk, pickles and ice cream. The flamboyant billionaire even installed an AI system, W.E.D.N.E.S.D.A.Y. It took some getting used to, but eventually Bucky warmed up to “her.”

The months passed swiftly. At 8 months, Y/N could no longer walk without assistance. Her bulging belly made mobility difficult. Bucky didn’t mind at all. It gave him another excuse to cater to her every need.

 Time arrived for the newest Avenger to make an entrance. Rebecca Faith Barnes weighed 8 lbs. 3 ozs. 19 inches long with dark mocha hair and shimmering blue eyes. Bucky beamed as he fawned over Y/N and Becca. She truly was the brightest star in the sky, illuminating her parents heartache into pure bliss.

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