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luc606 · 2 years ago

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Seven doesn’t understand you. Or, rather, he understands you too well. He knows what it’s like to be stubborn and want the best from people only to be disappointed. He knows what it’s like to wait for something that never comes.

- i just wanted to write about cutting saeyoung's hair don't mind me pairing: Saeyoung/MC (gender neutral 2nd person) canon 707 route timeline read on ao3

Seven doesn’t remember his last haircut. He’s sure he got fed up with his hair falling into his eyes and drove to a random cheap salon. He’s sure he paid in cash, that he tipped plenty, that he barely spoke to the hairdresser. He thinks he might have thought about sending a selfie to the RFA chatroom, but he’s sure that he decided against it. He knows that there were times before, when he was deep in hiding and in work from the agency, where he cut his own hair. He’s learned not to trust himself with it, though.

His last haircut must have been at least a few months ago—before the hacker, the apartment, and the fight with V. Before you.

Seven’s hair has grown unruly, falling into his eyes and obscuring his vision. Deep in his work tracing the hacker, he pushes his bangs back with his headphones like a makeshift headband. He’s sure that he looks ridiculous and hopes that you don’t wake up to see him like this. It doesn’t occur to him that he shouldn’t care what you think of how he looks.

You’re curled up on the couch, asleep. Seven recalls, with some indignation, the declaration you made before staying on the couch. How you accused him of not getting enough rest, how you refused to go to bed until he took a break.

The fight ended in a stalemate and then in soft breaths from the couch beside him. You had fallen asleep, phone in hand, watching him work.

He sighs, rubs his eyes, and removes his headphones. This keeps happening—his thoughts building and building until he finds himself unable to continue working.

Fine. He owes it to you to take a break.

Seven ruffles his hair back into place. He washed it earlier and it air-dried, revealing the little cupid curls that he thinks make him look boyish and cute. The way his red hair coils around the nape of his neck reminds him of how adorable his brother was when they were both little. It also reminds him of the passage of time and of the mother who gave him the curls in the first place. The overall effect is bittersweet, like anything else within reach of Saeyoung Choi.

There’s a slight change in the pattern of your breaths, then Seven sees you shift, dropping your phone to your lap and rubbing sleep from your eyes. Seriously. It’s like you’ve got sixth sense just for him. He hadn’t even made a noise.

“Go back to sleep,” he says, barely a whisper. He doesn’t sell it, though. He wishes you would go all the way to the bed on the other side of the room and curl up out of his sight. Then, at least, maybe he would be able to concentrate.

You make a sound that’s somewhere in-between a groan and a huff. You’re not fully awake yet, but you’re awake enough to be disagreeable.

“Seriously…” Seven rolls his eyes. It’s almost funny, the lengths you’re going to just to spite him. He wishes he had it in him to laugh and call you silly. Caring for him to the point of exhaustion seems completely absurd.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” You pick up your phone again, frowning at the screen. It’s nearly four in the morning. You’ve been asleep on the couch for two hours. “You’re taking a break, though.”

In a way, you’ve got what you wanted. Seven is resting his eyes and stretching his neck. You’re probably thinking that it’s better than nothing and counting a tiny win for yourself.

Seven sighs again, fluffing his curls out of his face with a shaking hand. He can’t imagine he’d be able to sleep even if he had the time.

“Is your hair bothering you?” Your voice is softer than usual, more timid. Seven recognizes an unfamiliar trepidation and cringes. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive himself for shouting at you earlier. “You mentioned in the chatroom before…” You trail off, worrying your hands in your lap. “About needing to cut your hair.”

“It’s fine,” Seven says. “Don’t worry about it.” He feels a bit like a robot, programmed to self-isolate. He’s got a limited number of useful phrases; go away, leave me alone, don’t worry about me, I’m fine, let it go…

“I could trim it if you want. It really wouldn’t take long.” You straighten on the couch, squaring your shoulders at him. “It would be easier to work without hair in your eyes.”

As much as Seven wants to turn you down again, he sees the utility of it. His hair really is a nuisance, and the sensory overload of it is impeding his work.

“Fine,” he says, before he can change his mind. “Sure.”

You’re off the couch in an instant, flying to turn the lights in the living room back on. He can tell by the way you hide your face that you’re trying not to look too surprised that he’s accepted your offer. You don’t say anything as you pull a chair into the bathroom and a pair of haircutting scissors out of the sink cabinet. Seven follows, mesmerized by how quickly and effectively you spring into action. It’s like you’re a kitten, leaping from the shadows onto an unsuspecting ball of yarn.

Briefly, Seven wonders whether the haircutting scissors are yours or Rika’s. He’s already decided that it doesn’t matter when you say, “These are mine,” as if you’ve read his mind.

“Do you cut your own hair?” he asks.

You nod. “I trim my own bangs.”

Seven chuckles, a little of his old self coming back to him in his nervousness. “So, I’m in good hands, then?”

When you smile, Seven realizes that he’s missed seeing you at ease. It’s not as though it’s been very long since he’s seen your smile, but, still, he realizes that he’s been longing for it. Even when you’re right in front of him, he can feel the distance he’s put between the two of you. It’s an oppressive feeling of loneliness, like being lost in space with limited oxygen supply.

“Of course,” you say, playfully snipping the air, “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Seven follows your instruction to sit. After some hesitation, he shrugs off his jacket.

“Do you want to…” You trail off, biting your lip, looking worried. Seven is more attuned to your facial expressions now, perhaps overcompensating for how he’s hurt your feelings. He can’t stand thinking that you might be scared of him, even if that’s exactly what he needs you to be. Desire to keep the walls between you in tact is in constant combat with his desire to put you back at ease in his presence.

“Are you okay?” He sounds a bit like you, timid and sugary-sweet. His voice seems to echo with the memory of yours from the past few days. Half of the conversations he’s had with you have begun with your voice asking this same question in the same tone.

He watches you in the bathroom mirror as you nod your head, then shift on the balls of your feet. “Hair gets in your shirt collar.”

“So?”

You duck momentarily out of the frame of the mirror. Your voice behind him is half-hearted, like you’ve run out of steam. “Never mind.”

That’s when he realizes what you mean, and his mind becomes an overheating CPU again, whirring out of his control. He imagines taking off his shirt so that tiny hairs don’t stick to him when they fall. His muscles are a surprise to anyone that knows his habits, so he imagines seeing that surprise on your face. Warmth creeps across his neck at the thought.

“It’s okay. I have other shirts.” He already feels exposed enough without his hoodie, but it’s equal parts freedom and vulnerability. He sits a little taller, as if the weight of the jacket pressed his shoulders down when he wore it. His arms, though, feel stiff and too long without familiar pockets to rest in. He hasn’t made eye-contact with himself in the mirror once, but he knows he looks a little clearer.

“Sure.”

It is in this moment when both of you realize the situation you’re in. You haven’t ever touched him before deliberately. There was one time when your elbow bumped his while you were eating with chopsticks beside him, followed by a hurried apology and a shuffle away. You seem a afraid of your hands being in his hair.

Seven clears his throat and tilts his chin up so that his head is perfectly straight. “I’ll try to keep still.”

“Alright, yeah.“ You take a section of hair at the back of his neck, pinching little cupid curls between two fingers. “Be still.”

The first snip takes away almost nothing at all. Seven can tell that you’re easing into it. Really, he wouldn’t care if you did a bad job. He can only worry about so much at a time, he reckons that a bad trim wouldn’t even be a blip on his radar. The second snip is a little more sure.

Seven has never had an easy time staying still. He’s always bouncing his legs or rocking in his chair or typing imaginary lines of code with his idle fingers. For you, though, and for the sake of his cherry-red curls, he puffs out his chest and counts slow breaths. He keeps his promise, only moving when you direct him to tilt his head one way or another.

You do your best to minimize falling hair as you cut, throwing pieces into the bathroom trashcan instead of letting them fall. Still, Seven can feel little tickles under his collar. He tries to ignore them, along with his rising internal temperature. As well as your hands combing his bangs to one side and then the other, your warm breath against his neck when you lean in to trim beneath his ears. You study him like a sculptor smoothing details into clay, leaning close as you measure pieces of hair against each other, aiming for perfection.

“Do you usually go to a hair salon to get your hair trimmed?”

Seven is startled when you break the silence, but he’s careful not to show it. He takes a breath. “Yeah, it gets away from me, though.”

A lot of things get away from him. For his entire adult life, Seven has been tossed around by the agency and V, treading water all the time. Before, when he still believed Saeran was safe, it hadn’t been so bad to let himself be used. Knowing that it’s all been for nothing, though, Seven finds a new feeling of guilt and loss at having led such a terrible life with nothing to show for it.

“Are you alright?” you ask, for the millionth time in a day. The words seem to fall from your mouth without thought.

Seven frowns, wondering how he could even begin to answer.

“Don’t answer that,” you say. It’s obvious that he’s not alright. “Sorry.”

It’s a mercy when you’re finished. You ruffle his curls one last time and step back. Seven sucks in a breath and slumps against the chair. His shoulders muscles ache from the tension he’s been holding.

“What do you think?” You take a step back and cross your arms.

Seven has to stand to fully see his face in the mirror. Really studying himself like this is something he tends to avoid, but it becomes easier in the moment than looking back at you.

“It looks good,” he says, and he isn’t lying. You’ve only done a utilitarian trim, keeping his normal hairstyle completely in tact, but it looks about as good as a professional haircut. A bit more of his face has been revealed by his bangs being trimmed back, again making him feel simultaneously more vulnerable and more at ease.

You put the scissors back into the bathroom cabinet. It’s clear by the way that you scoot around him to the door that you’re avoiding his eye contact as much as he’s avoiding yours.

“You probably want to shower,” you say, “the little hair pieces…”

“Right, yeah.”

Seven realizes far too late that you’ve tricked him into almost an hour away from his computer. He doesn’t mind, though, because he nearly shudders at the thought of hot water hitting his swimming head and sore back.

You nod, then leave him alone, closing the door as you go.

Out of necessity, Seven uses your shampoo. He scrubs his shoulders with your soap and the steam carrying your scent envelops him like a blanket. The corners of his eyes prick with tears at the foreign tenderness you’ve shown him. Not just in cutting his hair in the middle of the night, but in making sure he’s eaten and slept, in trying to reason with him and being understanding when he’s pushed you away.

Seven never cried as a child. It was important for him to be strong for Saeran, and he didn’t like letting his mom know how he felt, no matter how terrible she was to him. There was power, then, in hiding away. Everything he was able to keep for himself was a luxury.

Until a few days ago, the same principal applied. All of the secrets about his past were like the expensive cars in his garage, tucked away in the dark, completely under his control. Everything was compartmentalized into boxes labeled with his three identities.

He imagines the name tags on them. Luciel, the martyred angel, 707, the secret agent, and Saeyoung… Saeyoung doesn’t need an epitaph. The syllable he shares with a lost brother is enough.

When he finishes showering, he wraps himself in a towel and drops the clothes he was wearing into the hamper. He notices that the hamper is empty, meaning that you secretly did his laundry for him even when he told you not to worry about it. He heaves a half-frustrated-half-adoring sigh.

“Do you feel better?” you ask him when he returns to the living room, wearing a clean pair of black sweatpants and a new red t-shirt. He puts his jacket back on and returns to his place in the corner. You have curled back up on the couch next to his workstation with your phone, tapping away at a text to someone in the RFA app. Seven wonders if you’re telling one of the members about the haircut you’ve given him.

Seven drops down to the floor. His hair is still damp, pieces of it sticking to his ears and his face, but it’s no longer in his eyes or tickling his neck. He feels like a new man. “Yeah.” He unlocks his laptop and picks up right where he’s left off tracing the hacker. “Thanks.”

“You’re going to work more?”

“I have to.”

“Right.”

He watches as you get up and retrieve a spare blanket and one of the pillows from the bed. You set them on the couch and, for a moment, Seven thinks you might demand that he sleep there.

Instead, you settle back into your spot and pull the blanket over you. “If you get tired, take a nap on the bed.”

Seven sees no point in arguing, your tone is so matter-of-fact. He only nods. “Fine. Go to sleep.”

“Goodnight, Seven.” You reach out a hand and ruffle his hair. The gesture is so nonchalant that, by the time he’s registered it, your hand is already tucked back into the blanket.

Seven sits there for a moment, listening to your gentle breaths beside him and the soft whir of his laptop’s fan cooling the CPU. He’s in another stalemate with you, exactly where he started.

“Goodnight.”

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transparentgames · 6 months ago

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Thank you for 500 followers on itch! It's been a great 4 years making and posting games on the site :D

Links to most recent games, made for otomejam below!

Saintess of the Golden Bow - demo

My studio's first commercial visual novel. Demo free.

My credit as Creative Director, Narrative Designer, Writer, Scripter in Ren'py, Voice and Casting Director.

I'm a normal American office worker obsessed with Korean web novels and comics. One day I get into an accident and die, only to be reincarnated as an extra in one of my favorite books – a BL tragedy fantasy novel.

I'm supposed to die in this world too so I can be part of the main character's tragic backstory as his lost love, but I won't lose my life again! So I survive my 'death event'. However, my unexpected survival causes a butterfly effect in the story, and suddenly I replace the main character of the novel and become the Saintess of the Golden Bow.

Crimson Thread of Fate - full game

My credit as Casting and Voice Director.

It's almost time for your reincarnation! With the help of Moira, enter the path of reincarnation and meet certain someone there. Hey, maybe he will be your soulmate in your next life. Who knows? You decide!

Cupid's Chatroom - demo (nsfw)

My credit as Casting and Voice Director (as Rosaline). Not officially under Transparent Games due to being a nsfw credit.

A mysterious program called “Cupid’s Chatroom” suddenly appears on your PC, transporting you into a private chatroom. You find yourself joined by five others, who have also been dragged into the server—and it turns out they’re your potential bachelors?!

Have fun playing these games! Congratulations to everyone else for finishing their games for otomejam! It's been a fun ride these past two months :)

#english otome #otome #otome game #otome romance #visual novel #otomedev #indie game #indie developer #indie visual novel #game jam #otome jam

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kimsugi · 2 months ago

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You say to send questions so here’s mine: is Keyframes the only vn you like? What got you into them? :3

OH MY GOSH i totally forgot to check my inbox. my apolocheese 🧀 when it comes to vns i've actually only played demos of mirage noir, cupid chatroom and obviously keyframes, so i'm super new to it !!!! the reason is i'm actually horrendous at usual games and stress too much over them so i just wanted to try a genre that i can play even when tired

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atelieronthemoon · 9 days ago

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Redrawn selfie of this fine man for the extended demo 🥰

#cupid's chatroom #visual novel #dating sim #otome game #otome #gamedev #game development

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belle-et-inspirante · 2 years ago

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FriendFinder-X provides singles {the a

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mantruffles · 2 years ago