#cuddles with him would be FANTABULOUS

[dreamilysporadicpervert]

Another (hopefully relatable) meme post

Whether it's sexual or not, you excitedly (albeit hushed, since it's late as fuck) get up and guide him to the bedroom, stripping off his boots and his uniform for him

Having Aizawa come home to you every night is like waking up to find Santa delivering the perfect gift every. single. time.

[arrowofcarnations]

Fic-O-Ween 2023 Day 5: Ritual

Some spice (and I’m not talkin’ pumpkin spice) with a Star Wars-y twist for day five of the fest (@noots-fic-fests)! Co-written with the fantabulous @veryspacecowboy—and posted just in time for your birthday!!! <3

Title: Beskar Babes Characters: Finn O'Hara/Logan Tremblay/Leo Knut Rating: E

Thank you as always to @lumosinlove for the boys—especially Kuny, who I think we can all agree is the real MVP of this one.

Like many good things, it all started with a Star Wars marathon spread over an away trip. 

Actually, it really started with a shutout game where Leo made several impossible saves. In the locker room, Kuny had ruffled Leo's sweaty hair and called him Master Skywalker, to which Leo had blushed and admitted he'd never actually seen Star Wars. 

Naturally, this caused a huge uproar, especially from Kuny and Nado, but also from Finn. The three of them ranted and raved for all of about five minutes before Kuny clapped his hands on Finn and Leo's shoulders and said 'Your padawan, he is, O'Hara. Teach him Force, you must.’

Over the next week, Finn showed Leo (and Logan, who was mostly there for cuddles) episodes four through six, one through three, Solo, Rogue One, and finally (with a grain of salt), seven through nine.

Once they were finally back home in their apartment, settling back into their routine after the ups and downs of the long roadie, Finn started watching The Mandalorian on nights when he wasn’t caught up in a book. His boys had pretty much left him to it, declaring themselves Star Wars-ed out for the time being. But Leo’s passing glances at the screen while Finn was watching slowly became watching half an episode over Finn’s shoulder, and then the two of them were in it together, shared blanket thrown over their legs and all. Logan grumbled more and more about it until he finally gave in, the allure of couch cuddles too strong, and started watching with them.

It didn’t take Logan long to notice his boyfriends’ crushes on the show’s lead, the Mandalorian himself. Leo was the first to admit it, letting out a low whistle during the scene when Djarin removes his helmet for the first time. “I knew he was hot.”

Finn had laughed and thrown his hands in the air. “Okay, right?! He was hot with the helmet on, even, but damn. Like, okay.”

Logan didn’t disagree, but mostly he was just amused at their fawning, which they kept doing from time to time until the season ended. Then one day in the locker room, as he watched Finn and Leo talk about the finale with Kuny and Nado, he got an idea.

Before crawling into bed with his boyfriends that night, he sent a quick text to Kuny.

Did you buy that Mando armor you showed us?

да yes, beskar delivery today.

why?

Can I borrow it this weekend?

There was a long-ish pause, those three dots moving like Kuny was typing, then deleting, typing, then deleting once more.

clean off cum after, little Mando

you come here and pick up?

Logan’s cheeks were burning as he tapped out a fast tomorrow am, ignoring both the short joke and the implication because, well. It would just sound stupid to lie. He already knew the smug grin Kuny was going to give him tomorrow, but he could take a little chirping from him (and inevitably Nado) if it meant the success of his plan.

~

It was easy enough to pull off the surprise; Logan stopped at Kuny and Nado’s place on the way home from a grocery run, leaving the outfit in his car until he had some time alone to get ready. Luckily, Finn was hell-bent on restocking their bar so he could make them a round of after-dinner manhattans (“We have off tomorrow!”) and Leo wanted some weird liqueur for a baking project, so all Logan had to do was pass on joining them for the ride, saying he wanted to shower instead.

The armor wasn’t the easiest thing to get into, but still only took him half the time it did to suit up for a game, giving him a few spare minutes to check himself out in the mirror. It had been custom-made for Kuny, so some of it was unsurprisingly big on him, but he thought he looked alright anyway. He huffed out a laugh at his reflection, shaking his head a little.

“D’accord, here we go,” he said to himself. He heard the rumble of Leo’s car pulling up in the driveway, fitted his helmet on, and made his way to the living room.

The way their apartment was set up, the living room was kind of tucked behind a wall that helped give the kitchen more cabinets. If he knew his boys, they'd go straight to the kitchen to put away groceries before doing anything else. He shifted a little, the blaster at his hip and the tracking fob blinking steadily in his other hand. 

The lock at the front door clicked open and the voices of his lovers carried through, halfway through a conversation. Logan swallowed thickly and waited. 

"—cool that we don't have to get your Crystal hot sauce from your parents anymore, now that they just have it at the grocery store."

"Well, yeah, but I like getting care packages from my parents. Even if I'm paying for the shipping." The sounds of things being put away, bottles clinking, and the fridge doors closing were slightly muffled through the helmet.

"BabyNut, no one's saying you can't get care packages from your sweet mama, I'm just saying now she can put more homemade goodies in, if she wants."

"Yeah, s'pose so. Remember when it exploded in the box?" There was some laughter and a soft silence Logan recognized as kissing. "Hey, where's Lo? Is he napping?"

And with that, Finn flipped the lights on in the living room and the pair of them stepped out of the kitchen. Leo froze at the sight of Logan (he assumed it was Logan) in full-on, practically screen-exact Mandalorian armor. Finn bumped into him with a soft oof and gasped when he peeked around Leo.

"Holy—Jesus Christ, Lo, where the hell did you get that? It looks great!" There was a long pause as Logan stood up, tracking fob blinking softly as he pointed it at his boyfriends. Then, he pulled the blaster from its holster.

"I can bring you in warm…or I can bring you in cold." 

All three of them went still for a moment, and Logan was smiling from ear to ear under the helmet at the literal jaw drops he’d elicited from his boyfriends. Leo was dragging his gaze all the way down Logan from head to toe and back again, and Finn’s gaze flicked from the blaster to the helmet right where Logan’s eyes would be, seemingly rendered speechless mid-sentence. That was more like it, Logan thought.

Leo broke the silence first. “I surrender,” he said, voice low and honey-sweet as his lips twitched up in a tiny grin. He sent a sidelong glance toward Finn, who was still wide-eyed and uncharacteristically quiet. “Harz?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “What about you?”

Finn swallowed twice, and Logan was just starting to feel worry unfurling in his chest when the redhead took a step forward, then another, stopping just short of the blaster aimed at him. “Oh yeah,” he said, putting his hands in the air in a show of surrender. His crooked smile was warm and full of promise, and it chased away the panic in Logan instantly. “I’m all yours, baby.”

"I would've thought that a Marshal of Tattooine—" Logan semi-gently poked Finn in the belly with his blaster before nodding his helmet at Leo. “and a Jedi Master would put up more of a fight for having bounties on their heads, but I've been surprised before. Not that surprise has helped them live." 

There was another beat as Finn and Leo caught on to Logan’s play. Anticipation was picking Logan’s heart rate up, but he fought the urge to squirm, keeping still as he waited to see what the other two would do.

Finn considered him with raised brows, that crooked grin turning a little more surprised, but no less amused. “A bounty, eh?” Finn said, letting his belly press against the end of the blaster just slightly. “Well, that changes things. I thought this was a Mandalorian’s way of asking a guy for a drink.”

Leo came up behind Finn, snaking his arms around his waist. “And we’d be very interested in having a drink with you,” he said, voice soft and sweet but blue eyes full of mischief where they burned into Logan’s despite the helmet.

Leo leaned his head down to press a lingering kiss to the side of Finn’s neck, and Finn sighed into it. It distracted Logan just enough to let Finn get his hand around the weapon, coaxing it away from his body until it was pointed toward the floor between them. “What do you say?” Finn breathed. The two of them were looking right at where they knew green eyes were considering them. “No fun bringing us in cold when we’re this hot.”

That got a little huff of a laugh out of their darling Mando, and Finn felt that warmth in his belly from making his sweetheart laugh. They hadn't talked super seriously about sexy roleplaying or dress up, but this? The beskar armor? The tough-guy attitude? Finn liked it a lot and, from the feel of Leo pressed up against him, he guessed he wasn’t the only one.

"I thought the Jedi had rules about attachment. You two seem pretty attached."

"Restarting the Order comes with a few perks," Leo said, his disapproval of how Luke acted in the series shining through a little. "Friendship, love, and sex aren't the enemy. But…the last of those is on the table, Mando. If you like."

Logan tilted his head, pretending to consider their offer. Then he motioned toward the hallway with the blaster. “Bedroom, now,” he said in the most commanding tone he could muster.

He watched as Finn and Leo shared a look, all wide eyes and excited grins, and felt the familiar pull to be closer to them. But he wasn’t ready to give up the game just yet. Finn went first, then Leo, then Logan behind them both, closing the bedroom door behind him.

Once he turned around to face them, he was met with two gorgeous boys standing by the foot of their enormous bed, watching him and waiting for his next direction. A thrill ran through him as he found himself running the show. This wasn’t their usual dynamic, even without the roleplay, but Logan was eager to see where it would go, where he could take them.

He holstered the blaster at last, crossing his arms instead as he stared them down. “Take off his clothes, Jedi,” he said, the hint of a smile in his voice. “Since he’s in such a hurry to get out of them.”

Being called Jedi was apparently doing it for Leo because he'd never stripped one of the boys out of their clothes as fast as he was getting Finn naked. "Oh my g—kriffing shit. Leo!" Oop—he'd actually forgotten about Finn's shoes. Well, now he was naked at least. All those freckles on display, with that gorgeous, perfect amount of deep red body hair…and that lovely, lovely cock. Logan was definitely hard in his armor.

"Now, Marshal…give us a turn and get the Jedi naked."

Marshal. Finn didn’t know if he should be finding that as hot as he was, but he was too into this whole surprise roleplay to care. What was hotter than that, though, was Logan. The way he was carrying himself, so in command, made Finn want to do things—want to have things done to him—that he hadn’t really thought about before. He shivered in the open air, feeling distinctly exposed with his boyfriends still fully dressed. But not for long—he had orders, after all.

Finn stole a moment to give Leo a lingering kiss, pressing his palms to the sides of Leo’s neck and stroking the strong line of Leo’s jaw with his thumbs, before pulling away with a grin and a waggle of his eyebrows. He stripped Leo efficiently—not as lightning-fast as Leo had done to him, maybe, but he didn’t make a show of it, either—and pulled him in for another kiss, heated and a little sloppy with excitement, once they were both completely, equally naked.

“Oh, hi,” Finn murmured as Leo’s quickly filling cock pressed against his hip. “You like him, huh, Master Knut?” Leo gasped, eyes wide and dark, and Finn smiled, knowing he’d got him good. They would absolutely be returning to the Jedi persona for Leo; it just fit so perfectly, and Leo obviously really liked it.

"I do, I do like him. The voice, the confidence…the armor." Leo swallowed thickly and glanced over at Logan, still with his blaster in his hand. "What…what would you have us do, Mando?"

"It's been a while since I've been to a show. Too busy hunting Imperials. Take him apart, Master Jedi. At my direction."

Finn felt a little shiver run through him again, but it wasn’t from the air this time. He looked over at Logan, then at Leo, who was sizing him up with a hunger in his eyes that made Finn’s heart pick up. Oh, he was in trouble. And it was going to be good trouble.

“It would be my pleasure,” Leo said, ducking his head to leave a trail of kisses from the corner of Finn’s jaw down his neck, stopping at the cap of his shoulder. Finn was a little twitchy with excited energy, wiggling his toes on the wood floor and skating his hands through Leo’s hair, across his back, up his arms—wherever he could reach.

Leo noticed, and walked Finn backwards until he could coax him down onto the bed. He ran a soothing hand down Finn’s bare chest, then looked over his shoulder at Logan. “This good?” he asked.

Logan nodded, walking closer to the bed to get a better view of them as Leo settled himself on top of Finn. He didn’t join them, though; he was content to watch the show for now, like he’d said, though he didn’t know how long he’d last without giving into the desire to touch them.

He watched as Leo and Finn lost themselves in a slow, tender kiss that morphed into something a little more desperate by the time they broke apart, panting against each other’s mouths. Leo hummed softly, nuzzling his nose against Finn’s cheek in a sweet contrast to the way his hips were slowly starting to roll against Finn’s. Finn’s hands were curled around Leo’s ribs, fingertips pressing into the strong muscles of his back, and he kissed the gray tuft that was always visible in the mass of Leo’s blond curls before his gaze wandered over to the armored figure looming a few feet away.

“You could help him,” Finn said to Logan, his smile going slack as Leo moved to suck a bruise into the junction of his neck and shoulder. “You could—fuck, Leo—help him take me apart.”

"Mm." Logan shifted a bit, helmet tilting as he assessed what Finn had suggested and what Leo was doing to him. "Something tells me you're not the one getting taken apart. Take it slow… take a moment to settle into it. I'll do my part soon enough, Marshal. And Jedi? Make sure to leave marks. This is the Way." This was as much Logan talking as Mando, and it made another shiver go through Leo and Finn.

Leo guided Finn’s gaze back to his with gentle fingers on his chin. “What do you say, O’Hara?” Leo’s smile was playful and loving and it warmed Finn from the inside out, helping to calm his energy a bit. “Do you trust me?”

Finn knew that Leo was playing along with the scene, but he was also really asking. He wasn’t used to just—lying back and taking it, so to speak. He liked to do the work, he liked to take Leo and Logan apart and give them everything they wanted and then some. But his answer came without hesitation. “Mhm,” he hummed, kissing the tip of Leo’s nose. Because he did trust them, both of them, implicitly. And whenever he’d stepped out of his comfort zone with them before, it had always ended more than well. “Go ahead, baby. I’m all yours.”

Just like on the boat in New Orleans, Leo would take good care of Finn, and hopefully the pair of them could ease Finn down into subspace. Logan and Leo had experienced it before and Finn had been so good with them. He deserved the same. The fact that it had a Star Wars flair was just…a nice extra touch. 

The three of them shifted, Leo moving Finn up the bed a bit so Logan had room to perch on the edge of the bed and watch. He wanted to take off the helmet…but knew it would be better and 'more authentic' if he waited for now and left it on. "Touch him, softly. Ease him into it, touch him where he likes."

Leo looked over his shoulder at Logan and nodded, biting his lip against the arousal that spiked through him at Logan being in control. At Logan instructing him how to make love to Finn. It was intimate, doing this as a pair, and a part of his brain was already coming up with ideas of what they could try in the future. He looked back into warm brown eyes and shelved those thoughts for now; he had a marshal who needed him, after all, and he fully intended on following the mandalorian’s orders to the letter.

Leo settled back over Finn, bracketing him with his knees on either side of Finn’s thighs and his forearms on the sides of Finn’s head, and kissed him for what felt like a blissful eternity, slow and deep. When he felt Finn start to relax underneath him, Leo pulled back just enough to drag the pad of his thumb across Finn’s bottom lip. Finn smiled, kissing it, and Leo kept going, tracing a gentle path with his fingertips down the long expanse of Finn’s neck, to his broad chest, pale and strong and peppered with freckles.

He shifted to kiss over Finn’s adam’s apple as his fingers traced teasing circles around his nipples. Finn made a soft sound at the touch, arching up into it slightly, and Leo gave him a little more, brushing over the pink buds with the smoothest parts of his hands and then the spots where his skin was rougher and more calloused. Finn squirmed and sighed and sunk his hands into Leo’s hair, but he didn’t try to initiate anything, so Leo replaced his hands with his mouth as a reward, lapping and sucking gently until Finn’s nipples were hard peaks.

“You’re so beautiful, Harzy,” Leo breathed, blowing cool air over Finn where he was now extra sensitive. He gave each nipple a last kiss. “So good for me always.” He kissed the bump of Finn’s sternum as his hands made a slow path down his chest and belly to the V of his hips.

“Leo,” Finn gasped, cock pulsing out a bead of precome where it hung heavily between his legs. Leo’s mouth watered at the sight, but he wasn’t there yet. Finn wasn’t there yet.

He kissed his way back up to Finn’s neck, leaving a purple love bite to match the one on the opposite side. “Fuck,” Finn groaned, gripping Leo’s shoulders. His hips bucked, unconsciously seeking friction. “Fuck, baby.”

“You like being my good boy, don’t you?” Leo asked, running his knuckles down Finn’s cheek tenderly as he got an enthusiastic nod in response. Then he took hold of Finn’s wrists, easing his arms back until they framed his head on the pillow. “Can you stay just like this while I go a little lower?” There were so many other places Leo wanted to love on Finn’s bottom half.

As Leo smooched down Finn's belly, headed towards his cock, Logan shifted so he could stand up by Finn's head. "You like to be good for your Jedi?" He traced along Finn's arm and then his shoulder with the soft leather glove, just the tips of his fingers to make Finn shiver and moan sweetly. "You'll be so sweet for us, I can tell." 

"I—yeah, I'm good. I want to be good for you two." Finn let out a shaky breath as Leo lapped at the head of his cock. Logan cupped Finn's face in his hand, gently teasing his bottom lip with his thumb as he cradled Finn's jaw.

Without overthinking it, Finn yielded to the gentle pressure, opening his mouth and drawing Logan’s gloved thumb inside with his tongue as his eyes slid shut. He sucked on it once experimentally, then groaned around it, brown eyes fluttering back open to look up at Logan through his lashes. This was new for Finn; it made his cheeks hot and his dick throb under the barely-there flicks of Leo’s tongue. He stared at the shiny visor and wished he could see what Logan’s eyes looked like that second.

There was a shift between them, a subtle change in the feel of things, there in their bed. Leo squeezed where Finn's ass met his thigh and the redhead moaned softly around the gloved finger in his mouth. Finn was slipping nicely, his two boys easing him down into a fuzzy, warm floatiness.

"Yeah, sweetheart, you're so good. You look so good sucking his thumb. Such a good boy for us." Leo murmured these words of praise into Finn's lovely, freckled lower belly and looked up to see how Finn gazed up at Logan, still wearing his helmet. "Mando—Logan. Can you take off your helmet for us?"

Logan hesitated for a moment, debating with himself. Finn looked so gorgeous underneath them, eyes wide and dark and trusting, and his slow sucks around Logan’s thumb were sending arousal spiking through Logan’s body. Part of him was dying to rip the costume off and kiss the living daylights out of Finn, and then do the same to Leo. But part of him wasn’t sure what would happen if he did. Could he keep up this energy with them without the armor, without the persona?

He looked over at Leo where he was pressing kisses to the root of Finn’s cock and watching them both with lust-blown blue eyes. Then he looked back at Finn and felt his heart pull at the look on Finn’s face. He let Logan’s finger slip from his mouth, his hands reaching to find purchase on any part of Logan he could reach. “Please,” he said, soft and sweet and yearning. “Please, Lo baby, wanna see you.”

He hadn’t even finished getting the words out before Logan’s hands were flying up to the helmet, pulling it up over his head and letting it rest on the nightstand with a soft thud. He was flushed and his brown hair was sticking to his temples where a thin sheen of sweat had broken out over his skin from the heavy costume. Finn let out a soft noise as he finally locked eyes with Logan, smiling at him like he’d hung the moon, and Logan couldn’t wait another second, pushing a hand into Finn’s hair and giving it a tug that made Finn’s toes curl before catching him in a dizzying kiss.

“Gorgeous, mon rouge,” Logan purred against Finn’s lips, allowing the break in character to give Finn the praise that was so obviously sending him up to cloud nine. “Your mouth is perfect. I want you to keep doing that while Leo sucks your cock.” He looked over at Leo. “Ouais?”

Leo swallowed hard, his own cock heavy against the mattress. “Ouais,” he said, already a little breathless. It was such a treat to see his boys like this, it was like a remix of their special lovemaking on the boat. Christ, he wanted his boys any way he could have them, including with the added spice of beskar. "Finn, check in with Lo. Okay?"

"Uh-huh, okay, Le—" Finn let it out in a breathless rush, a blush settling high on his freckled cheeks as he gazed up at Logan. He tilted his head just enough to press a little kiss to Logan's thumb before Logan slipped his thumb past Finn's lips once more and Leo descended on the redhead's cock.

"You're such a treat to look at, Harzy, especially with Leo's mouth on you. Did the armor really get you that hot?" When Finn nodded and moaned around Logan's thumb, he couldn't hold back his smile. Fuck, he was so lucky.

For a long few moments, Logan let things play out, Finn’s sucks around his thumb becoming more rhythmic as he mimicked what Leo was doing between his legs. Then he slid his thumb out from that wet heat, cupping Finn’s cheek briefly to reassure him he hadn’t done anything wrong, and stepped back just enough to start getting himself out of the costume as fast as he could, taking care not to scuff or break anything. He had nothing but boxers on under the costume’s layers; it was a relief to be standing only in them after what felt like hours in the hot, heavy armor.

He crawled onto the bed, laying on his side next to Finn, and Leo pulled off Finn’s cock with a kiss before coming up to lay on his opposite side. Their hands trailed over Finn’s chest and stomach idly as Logan kissed him again, more slowly this time. When he pulled away, Finn chased his mouth, his eyes closed and his lips swollen and bitten-red. Logan felt his heart squeeze and his dick twitch at the sight.

“Gorgeous,” he said again, quiet and reverent, and ran a hand through Finn’s mussed-up hair. He took a second to lean over and kiss Leo for good measure, and he could practically feel how turned on Leo was by this, too.

A happy sigh beneath them made them both break the kiss and look. “Fucking love watching you two,” Finn said with a dopey grin. “Never gets old.”

That drew both of their attention back to him, and soon he had two pairs of lovely hands mapping his skin, two wickedly talented mouths drawing soft, low sounds out of him. Logan sucked a bruise into the side of Finn’s neck, just under his ear, as Leo pressed a few slow, open-mouthed kisses to the base of his cock before grinning up at him (fuck) and sinking down on him until the tip of his nose brushed the soft-coarse hair below Finn’s navel.

"Oh—Leo, fuck—Logan—” Finn was so glad they'd dropped the pretense of the roleplay because he was quickly getting a little too far under to remember anything but his gorgeous boys' names. Logan combed his fingers through Finn's hair again and again as Leo worked his magic on the redhead's cock, slurping when he pulled up near the head, swallowing and breathing through his nose to take Finn into his throat. 

“Don’t come yet,” Logan instructed.

Finn whined, knee knocking into Leo’s shoulder as he shuddered with pleasure.

“Harzy,” he warned. He caught Leo’s eye as he looked up at him questioningly. Logan just winked in response, then grabbed lube out of the bedside table drawer and knelt behind Leo, drawing him up onto his knees, too.

“Don’t get him too good,” he said to Leo, borrowing a phrase he’d picked up from him. The anticipatory shiver that rolled through Leo as he ran his palm down each asscheek, then circled his rim with a slick fingertip, was worth every bit of chirping he was going to take from Kuny tomorrow. “You’re giving me a show, remember? I want to see him fill you.”

That got a moan out of both them, Leo's louder as he nodded his consent—and Logan worked the first finger inside him. "I can—I can take two, Mando—Lo, please.” The roleplay was a little hazy now that the armor had come off, but none of them much cared. Logan bit Leo's shoulder and then soothed it with a kiss, giving his lover another finger, at his request. 

"You guys are gonna fuckin' kill me, I swear—Lo, lemme cum—"

"Non. You'll cum in him after I do."

"Fuck yeah I want both, I want you both—" Leo rocked his hips back on Logan's hand, but Logan stopped him with a hand on his hip. 

"Be good and you'll get both." 

Leo, ever the team player, obeyed, melting into Logan’s hold as he was prepped. He had to pull his mouth off Finn twice more after bringing him to the edge; Logan watched those big goalie hands pet down Finn’s chest and flanks soothingly as Finn obeyed, too. (They were being so good for him. Logan was going to make it worth their while.)

The first press of his cock inside Leo was pure bliss, just like always. Logan’s eyes darted everywhere: at the sight of himself disappearing into Leo, at Leo’s strong back and the slightly sweaty blonde curls at the nape of his neck as he swallowed Finn down again, at Finn’s wrecked, desperate expression and pale fingers gripping the sheets as if for dear life.

He knew it would be over soon—they were all too fired up to take it slow—so the pace he set was fast, giving Leo the short, sharp thrusts that would get them both there before Finn lost it completely. He could tell Leo wanted it just as badly, groaning as he pushed his hips back to meet him.

“Gonna come,” Logan said tightly, reaching around to take Leo’s cock in hand. Leo’s strangled cry made Finn thrash and Logan pick up the pace, jacking Leo to the quick tempo of his thrusts.

“Oh my god, oh—yeah, Tremz, come on, wannahaveitgimmeitplease?”

Logan dropped his head between Leo’s shoulder blades and moaned long as low as he pulsed inside him, hips grinding slowly as he rode it out. He smiled to himself as he felt Leo start to come a few seconds later, stroking him through it and savoring the shocked little laugh that tumbled out of him as Logan got him nice and full and spent.

Well, hopefully not spent-spent. He still wanted to see their plan through. Logan looked over Leo's shoulder at Finn, who looked like he was trying very, very hard not to spontaneously combust.

Leo had stopped the blowjob while he came which seemed to give Finn just a moment to calm himself. But now he had two sets of eyes on him. Finn swallowed thickly and his cock twitched against his lower belly.

"Leo, do you still want—?"

"Yes I want it, I want him, m'fucking good for it." Leo let out a soft noise when Logan pulled out.

"You know what to do then, O'Hara. Give him his second and make him messy."

Finn groaned and covered his face with his hands. "You can't just say shit like that after Nutty's just given me the succ of my life and then not let me cum—jesus—" By then, Leo had already shifted, climbing up on top of Finn so Logan could line them up.

Leo looked down at him and gently moved one hand out of the way. "There's my handsome guy. You ready Fish?"

"Yeah baby, fucking give it to me."

Leo wasted no time; he sank down onto Finn’s cock as he guided Finn’s hands to his waist, squeezing them in a quick pulse as Finn got the message and held him there.

Logan almost missed Leo’s hushed “fuck yes” under the punched-out moan that escaped Finn’s lips as Leo found his seat. Finn was beautiful like this, utterly breathless and flushed down to his freckled chest. Logan’s hand was tender as it brushed red hair away from Finn’s eyes.

“I like you desperate,” he murmured, which earned him one of the surprised little laughs Finn often gave them in bed. Logan wanted to kiss the point of his smile-scrunched nose, so he did.

“You two,” was all Finn said before kissing him, as though that answered everything about his current state. Logan’s chest swelled with pride as he realized that for Finn, it did.

The grin on Leo’s face was a little wild, a little sex-drunk, as he started to move (and oh, did he move. Logan had literally just fucked him, but he was still a tiny bit jealous as he watched pure bliss blossom over Finn’s handsome face).

“Holy fuck, Le,” Finn managed. He pushed his hips up a few times, trying to meet Leo, but his shaking legs flattened on the bed after a minute. He was going, going, gone, and so was Leo. Logan wanted to get them the rest of the way there.

"Can you give us another, soleil? Can you cum all over Finn's pretty chest as he fills you up?" Logan kissed Leo's cheek and took hold of his cock, causing a gorgeous little hitch in Leo's hips that had all three of them groaning. "He's so close, aren't you, Rouge?"

"I'm there, I'm there, holy fuck, Le—Lo—baby, I'm there, can I? Let me, please can I?” There was nothing so beautiful as Finn O'Hara spread out and flushed with pleasure and begging to cum. He made the prettiest picture and his cock just felt so good inside of Leo that…

"You can cum, Finn, be good and cum and fill him up." Logan gave him permission and kissed his forehead as Leo threw his head back and rode their redhead as hard as he could.

As long as he lived, Logan would never, ever not be transfixed by the sight of his boys like this. The way Finn arched his back, eyes falling shut as he moaned so pretty and gave himself over to it; the way Leo laughed around a “yes, yes, yes!” as he got what he wanted and then followed Finn close behind, knees jerking inward on either side of Finn’s hips as he came harder than he had the first time, shaking in their hold on him.

It was like Logan could feel it, too, and it made him needy all over again. His cock twitched against his thigh, but he ignored it in favor of stroking Leo through the aftershocks and run fingertips down the ladder of Finn’s ribs as he gave every last drop to Leo.

Soon, though, both of them went a little boneless, Finn slipping out of Leo as Leo pitched forward to lay chest to chest. Finn looked a bit squashed, but he wasn’t complaining; he kissed Leo’s sweat-damp temple and rubbed his back in a slow rhythm. Logan knelt beside them and bit his lip against a groan as he closed a hand around himself, chasing a second orgasm. He’d join the cuddle puddle in a moment, he just needed to…

“Lemme,” Finn slurred, eyes already half-lidded as Leo pet his hair. He shot a hand out but missed, grazing Logan’s thigh; Logan laughed even as he stroked himself faster, gripped a little tighter.

“Stay,” Logan teasingly commanded. “ ‘M close. I’m—merde, you two…”

He jumped a little as he felt a hand grip him by the back of the knee and pull him closer.

“C’mere,” Leo said, sounding just as sleepily sated as Finn even as he urged Lo closer. “On me, on me, please?”

Logan was about to say something about Leo being messy enough, but then Leo arched a little so his ass was on display, displayed for Logan, and said “please?” again. Logan watched as cum trickled out of him and realized it could be his or Finn’s, and that was it—he shifted closer, jacked himself quick and hard for another few seconds, and painted Leo from the small of his back to the tops of his thighs.

All three of them were breathing heavily, sort of all smushed together in a pile of hockey players on their huge bed. That was truly one of the best parts of their sex ritual; however they ended up, they were snuggling. Eventually, Finn cleared his throat.

"So, uh, not to be that guy and question such an awesome thing that brought about mutual orgasms, but like…where the fuck did all that come from?! I mean, I loved it—the voice and the armor and the roleplay and the armor, but like. Where did all that come from?" He flapped his hands a little from where he was pinned under Leo, and it got chuckles out of Leo and Logan. But then Leo turned and peeked at Logan.

"...That's not your suit, is it?"

"Non. It's a rental."

"Right, but from who?"

Logan sat up and kissed Leo's shoulder and got up to get a flannel. "...it might have been Kuny."

"Ohhhh my God, we're about to get chirped so fucking bad," Finn lamented, even as Leo pressed smiley little kisses all over his freckled neck and shoulder.

"Mm, and I'm going to be fucking sore tomorrow, but it was worth it. Right, Marshal?"

"God… You'd make such a pretty Jedi, Le. The prettiest."

"Et moi? Do I get a thank you?" Logan returned with the cloth and began to clean up Leo.

"Consider my crush on Pedro Pascal officially replaced. New celebrity crush is Logan Tremblay in a Mandalorian costume."

"Hear-hear, seconded and the motion passes. But when you give the armor back…" Finn paused and caught Logan's eye with a grin. "Ask if that website has Jedi robes."

[gosecretscribbles]

Rise August Day 8: Big Mama

Summary: Splinter runs into Big Mama and they go on an impromptu date. (Of course they do, what else could we expect...)

Splinter strolled casually through the Hidden City, humming to himself. He’d already dropped off Orange at Barry’s place and decided to visit some of his favorite fan murals. There was one across the street from his favorite frozen yogurt place that showed his victory over the Venusian hydra. His eight pack was on full and glorious display.

Not that he looked too shabby these days, himself. His hair had turned white in their fight against the Shredder. He’d thought it was just a one-time thing, but some of the white was coming back and it made him look extremely distinguished. He’d pulled it up into a top knot and stitched himself a brand new white robe to go with it. He’d even considered cleaning his claws. (He hadn’t done it, but he’d considered it.)

The crowd of yokai flowed around him. It really did feel nice to get out among people sometimes. Even if they weren’t actively fawning over him. Even if he wasn’t really a yokai. They were people, and they had heard of him, and they walked past his murals every day. He was known and it felt good.

The crowd parted and his eyes lit up. The restaurant! The dining area was open to the street, and it wasn’t even crowded. There was only one other person ordering. A touring human, with bellbottom pants, a puffy-sleeved shirt, and long gray-lavender hair. His eyes passed over her and straight to the menu hanging over the register. A double bowl? A triple?

The woman turned. Splinter caught a whiff of a delicately dark scent, like a moist and lightless cave. Then the woman’s gaze caught his. Her eyes widened.

“Lou?”

“Snuffly-wuffly?”

They stared at each other, stunned. Then she squealed and scooped him up, cuddling him into her arms.

“It is you! Who else would have such distinguished features and hair the color of starlight?”

He giggled and twisted his tail in a complicated maneuver that ended with him standing on the register and dipping her gracefully. “My sassy badger! You look as lovely as ever, my precious hyena queen.”

The cashier, a large blue mouse, cleared his throat. “Uh, are you two going to order, or…?”

Big Mama batted her eyes. “May I treat you, cuddlykins?”

“No, please, I insist!” He’d stolen Purple’s wallet, after all. “And perhaps, a little stroll around town?”

“A date?! Oh, darling!”

“I better get a tip for this,” the cashier blue mouse grumbled.

He did not get a tip, although Mama told him sweetly that his life would be forfeit if he was ever rude to them again. The cashier decided their yogurt was free.

It felt almost like a first date. They fed each other scoops of frozen yogurt, visited Splinter’s favorite murals and Big Mama’s favorite bridge. They danced in front of the Gold Dragon fountain and attracted quite the crowd with stunning acrobatics. They discovered a peaceful duck pond tucked behind a small maze of narrow alleys, and sat on the grass while the mama ducks quacked softly to their down-covered ducklings.

“How scrumdiferously sweet,” Big Mama cooed. “And to think, the one day I give myself a little holiday, I run into my fantabulous silver fox.”

Splinter sighed dreamily. She still had the most wonderful way with words. “It’s just like our first date.”

She giggled and scooted closer. “You know, your little turtley-boos remind me so much you. So trumbly-trusting! So – heroic! I’m surprised they never came back to shut down my biddly Battle Nexus, even after I stole every puniferous pedestrian in New York.”

“Mmm. Purple has a soft spot for you.” Splinter waved a free hand vaguely. “Something about giving him his first compliment from a parent-aged adult.”

“His first? Lou! Were those little scamplings that naughty?”

He barked out a laugh. “Yes! But who needed compliments? A kind word from my jii-chan was ‘You didn’t do as badly this time.’”

“You were always so full of compliments for me.” She batted her eyes. “Should I consider myself special?”

“Very,” he sighed, looking dreamily up at her. In this light her eyes shone like polished obsidian, dark and full of fire. “There’s no one else in the world like you, my curvaceous cuddly duckling.”

She leaned closer until their noses nearly touched. “Does that mean I can have your tumbly turtles for my clown show?” she whispered breathily.

“Touch them and lose half your limbs,” he said dreamily, stroking her cheek with a finger.

She closed her eyes and leaned into the touch. “My bumbitious body guards would rip your handsomerous head from your body.”

“They had better try! Only the best service for my fiery flamingo.”

She giggled again. She pressed her fingertips to her lips, then to Splinter’s furry cheek. He thought he might melt on the spot.

“I suppose this is goodbye,” she said wistfully. “I really must get back to all the nickety pick-aparts of running a crime empire. Until we meet again, my sweet snuggly muffin beefcake.”

“I look forward to it, my sweet and saucy swanling.”

They parted ways at the mouth of the alley. Splinter pressed a kiss to the back of her hand and she blushed. It had always been so easy to turn her round cheeks rosy and his heart glowed at the sight. Then he vanished into the crowd from one blink to the next. He was a bit overdue to pick up Orange, and he owed Purple his wallet back. Hmm. Perhaps a compliment to each would make up for it? He was never very good at those. A hug, then! All of his sons loved hugs. Satisfied, he decided to take the long way back to the castle and take in the sites (and one more mural), just to make the day stretch a little longer.

[adultswim2021]

Check It Out! With Dr. Steve Brule #3: “Family” | May 31, 2010 - 12:30AM | S01E03

Just like the Squidbillies premiere that preceded this one, this episode is about FAMILY. Isn’t that kinda fun when that happens? 

In this one we meet Dorris Pringle-Brule, Steve’s mentally-ill mother who hoards trash and aspires to eventually own her son’s corpse so he can never escape. She wants to straight-up mount his dang head to the wall so she could wink at him all the time. We also meet Brule’s uncle Steve, the aforementioned father of Sunshine Brule (or as-yet mentioned if you are watching this in DVD order. See! It sorta has continuity!). Stan bores Steve with vaudeville talk. Joe Franklin he is not!!

Why isn’t the Joe Franklin estate doing what Letterman, Carson, et. al are doing with their vast archives of interviews and coming up with a half-way decent youtube presence? Sorry. You literally did not come here for this. It’s shocking that you came here at all. Anyway, there’s this Youtube channel but it’s been languishing for years. Oh yeah, he was on Space Ghost once. Joe Franklin was on Space Ghost so I get to talk about him. I’m nice

Okay anyway: We also get Brule being on a picnic with his Daddy (or is he). They cast a very large man and made Brule cuddle with him. I love when they put large men in things and just have them speak in a series of guttural moans. It’s a minor trope that Abso Lutely likes to engage in, and I am an Abso Lute pig for it.

We also get a very memorable bit where Steve talks to his supposed brother Stan, who is the coolest guy ever. He invents a jetpack before, and has a pizza oven in his house. It’s very obvious a split-screen effect, with Stan being played by Steve. It's sorta like that Chris Chan video where she (yes, I am one of those people that honors Chris Chan's pronouns despite... well, everything) pretends to be normal. Steve dramatically pulls the wool from our eyes and wistfully points out that he just wanted to see what it would be like to have a brother, and that he tricked us.

There are a number of very memorable bits in this, like the video of Brule on public access hugging his mom, who is tiny and hangs from his grasp like a dead child. Speaking of dead children, this episode points out fairly plainly that Steve had a sister who was presumably poisoned to death by his mother. Pretty horrific, but this fact is pithily summed up in a bulleted list at the end of the show: “some sisters are buried under your house”.

There’s also a bit from Doug Prishpreed with a sports update. The little clip where the actor portraying him seems legitimately flabbergasted is one of my favorite moments in the show, even if it seems a tad cruel. Prishpreed (real name Foster) is one of my favorite Tim & Eric guys. Everything he says is hilarious to me. 

This is a perfectly good episode, and I respect that.

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Adult Swim: Pilots DVD (June 1, 2010)

(video stolen from Bumpworthy)

Available exclusively on the Adult Swim webstore (I think. I am not that interested in actually researching this) is the formally not-available-for-individual-sale Pilots DVD taken from the previously released Adult Swim in a Box box set. That’s that box set that included random volumes of different Adult Swim shows. A veritable taster’s choice (did I say that back when I covered the Adult Swim in a Box DVD? I bet I did. Not linking it!). In other words, this is that DVD now available for standalone purchase. Here’s what it’s got:

Totally 4 Teens

Cheyenne Cinnamon & The Fantabulous Unicorn of Sugar Town Candy Fudge

Korgoth of Barbaria

Welcome To Eltingville

Perfect Hair Forever

Eagle-eyed viewers will note that all but one of these shows did not make it to series. For Some reason they decided to include Perfect Hair Forever’s first episode despite having a whole season attached to it. Could this be an admission of guilt? Are we supposed to imagine a more harmonious version of our planet in which Perfect Hair Forever only stole 11 minutes of our time instead of more than that. All I know is that this DVD is only going for about 20 bucks on ebay used, which is far less than I’d hoped for. Thought I was gonna end this write-up with an ebay auction link. Oh well.

[ziipzeepzop-eez]

I love how in every fandom, every iteration, there's ALWAYS some feralness to reader insert/yn essence. 😭🤌🏼

Awwww omg 😭😭 Yes you're so right!! They may have that unhinged charm about them, but that's not who they ARE; it's their capabilities and circumstance-raised developments coming to surface.

They're able to defend themselves and others. Why's that a bad thing? It's not. It's simply the reactions perceived by the offended party and the mindsets of an individual societal class.

In other words: you're an acquired taste, you're absolutely essential, and the rich are terrified of you.

People are scared of what they don't understand, and even more so when they do understand. You're a force to be reckoned with and that's the truth!

WAIT WAITTRRR JASON'S PART AUAAGAHGHHH (இдஇ; )(இдஇ; ) 💔💔💔💔 I WOULD RISK IT ALL FOR HIM. FOR T H E M DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND????

Because of their similarities, I feel Jason is the perfect candidate for being at your side when you're going through the motions :(( they're all great, your siblings! Don't doubt me. But Jay Jay just, knows exactly where it hurts and places the bandage with exact precision. Almost as good as Alfie!!

Speaking of Alfie omlllll I love that grandpa butler (/plat) sm like he's the grandler EVERRRR 💕💞💓💗💖

He'd learn your favorite recipes and cook/bake you so many treats,

You guys would whip up something wonderful in the kitchen together, exchanging stories from your respective lives.

Sometimes- just sometimes- he spoils you a bit. Especially on your bad days, he'll let the dessert come before dinner.

Just this once, Master YN, he'd say each time. But you know him well.

The book club with Dami, Grandler, Jayjay and Duke is so real. I just KNOW y'all all have fantabulous taste. 🤌🏼 Dude, imagine the debates tho 😭 It gets PASSIONATE at that round table!!!!

Reader makes non-profitable pins with the many iconic quotes that have gone down at book club meetings and they sound so WACK out of context but when inquired about it, you just-

"First rule about book club, is you don't talk about book club."

Everyone outside of book club is so confused like reader pls-

Sleep overs at Jason's come onnnnnn 🤲🏼✨ He'd indulge and build blanket forts with you and end up baking cookies and cooking his famous pasta each time. And he saves the leftovers in the fridge for the days when you stop by and he's stuck on a mission or something. 💕

(He'll always make it back in time to cuddle you in bed/on the couch/in those pillow forts. You don't know how he does it. You could be de briefed that he's all the way on the other side of the globe or even off Earth or something and you'll wake up in the middle of the night with his arm thrown around your torso and him snoring in your ear.

Did Dick or one of the others tell him you were vibing at his home? Dunno. Was it his Sibling Sense? No idea. Did he steal a hovercraft or finally figure out teleportation in order to haul ass back to you as soon as possible because he didn't want you to be alone? That's the most viable out of all of these, believe it or not.)

🗣️🗣️💕💕 Jason Todd is synonymous with Best Brother I will hear no arguments💖

Sooooooooooooo~~~ I've got more DC brainworms. I have come to share. 🤲🏼

Picture this, wildflower. *throws arm around your shoulder, gestures to the empty space in front of us, envisioning* A young (eventual) bat!sibbie reader who has a very similar essence to Jason.

and I mean....... literally. a mini Jason. lmaooo listenlistenlisten — yn is a scrappy, free-spirited orphan who comes from the slums of Gotham; they've been here a while, only giving a noncommittal shrug and wry smile when inquired about any of it. same story for a lot of us 'round here.

—and wouldn't it just be hilarious if they came into the Batfam the same way Jase did? By STEALING 👏🏼 HUBCAPS. 👏🏼

except it don't gotta be hubcaps, yn is a ✨professional✨ and a 🔥savage🔥 and just straight up carjacked the Batmobile LMALAOAOAOO (they earn Jason's utmost respect right off the bat [BAT PUN 🦇]; Steph, Dick, and Duke are the runner-ups). Bruce probably gains a new neck vein but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't intrigued!

thennnnn you muck up when you give the slightest inclination that you know his secret identity bcz it'd be significantly more terrifying (read: hilarious) than if you were to fall victim to the cliche 'i saw something i wasn't supposed to and now I'm being taken hostage by these randos in masks and oh holy smokes it's actually multi-billionaire airhead himbo Bruce Wayne!? and his KIDS!!??'

time skip because seamless transition, bing bada boom, they're Bruce's newest ward and filling the tabloids. while it may be a hot story that the entirety of the paparazzi froth at the mouths at, it's a different story behind the scenes.

reader has a sweet, dear personality at the core, but they put up a detached front; if anything, their crude humor and witty deadpan sarcasm attests to their harsh emotional walls put up.

it's nothing personal to these guys, they're just... constantly in self-perservation mode. they ain't never had nobody like this before, 'cept for their fellow street rat friends who're like family.....

I imagine those walls get worn down by Jason the most.

I also imagine Jason would be.... angry?? not at you!! never at you — if anything he'd probably steal you away from Bruce every chance he gets because he's scared you'll be readily thrusted into an unwitting role as a cowl-donner — but at Bruce's initial and seemingly impulsive decision to take you in- because of just how fast everything moved. he was a bit withdrawn at first, but he became undeniably protective over you as time went on.

you appreciate this earnestly; one day on your outings with Jason, he passes by the streets where you usually hung out with your friends. sure enough, they're all there, looking horrendously forlorn. you give out the group whistle- one you all made up and agreed on a longgggg time ago- and they all look at you like you're a ghost before you're being yanked into a group hug.

some of 'em are mad tho; they all caught wind, ever since you were printed in black and white on the newspapers lil' jimmy still brought to them fresh every morning. thought you ditched us for daddy warbucks. and some of 'em are genuinely happy, not only to see you, but had been for you. thought you managed to finally get outta this hellhole. we knew you wouldn't forget us, tho.

you're smart, yvette - your bestest friend ever since elementary - murmured as she hugged you so tight you could barely breathe. you're smart and warm and so kind... i'mma miss your candy apple self not being around me 24/7 any more, but heavens above, you made it, ynnie any foster parent would be blessed to have you as a kid, y'hear? anybody and everybody. she pulls you back and rests her forehead on yours, staring into your eyes with her tear-filled ones. don't forget 'bout us, yeah? we still got your back. stay safe and take care of yourself.

and if you silently cried on the way back to the manor, Jason didn't say much about it. just wrapped an arm around your shoulders and took you for burgers.

—i feel that incident would settle you deeper into Jason's heart. he just sees so much of himself in you. in this scrappy kid who puts up such a carefree front, but is actually made of honey and caramel at their center. who has such a strong emotional intelligence at that age that Jason's sure is the only difference between him and you. in this child, who has a pure heart full of love with so much to give and just wants to be loved in return.

reader's softest with Cass and Alfred, as in they feel no need to put up pretenses with them. it's how they both find out that you're perpetually jaded and reminiscent of a long-suffering lamb: soft, tolerant, brokenhearted, shreds of innocence swirling about their heart still, maybe a little lost......

SPEAKING OF THE GRANDLER HIMSELF 🌹🎉: you get roped into baking with Alfred one day, and because Alfred is the actual MVP, you fall into his affections too.

it's when you're kneading at dough when a crestfallen expression suddenly overtakes your expression.

"mr. alfred," you drawl, inner city accent thickening with the melting of your posture. there's a heaviness to your tone that wasn't there before. it catches the elderly man's attention immediately. "you remind me a lot of my old man. not my father, but there was this elderly gentleman who took care of us street urchins. old man peaches. cuz every time we saw him, he sold us fresh peaches from his little milk carton in trade for some colorful bottle caps. dunno where he got 'em, said he grew them out the cracks in the concrete, the geezer. he was always talkin' like that — like there was some deeper meaning to everythin'. we groaned all the time, made all in good fun of him right to his face, but we all really loved it.

"one day, me 'n yvette were scouting 73rd and maryanne avenue; it's the curve that has all those connectin' alleyways that hide the abandoned warehouses, y'know? it's also where we hid out with peaches. had a small space heater and brought anything we needed from the foster care buildin'. sometimes we'd get dragged back but you keep doing something enough times, them folks who don't get paid enough for it just stop givin' a hoot... so long s'we made it back for inspections and didn't pilfer the good stuff, y'know?

"anyway. we went in there hollerin' for mr. peaches... he was usually napping by the space heater or stringing bottle cap jewelry for us, but he wasn't there. searched the whole warehouse, whole perimeter, nothing.

"then, vettie found him... " you pause, a smile that didn't reach your eyes spreading your cheeks. "right by the compost bin outside the back door of that same warehouse, chest not movin' and lips stained with blueberries."

alfred feels his stomach drop, beside himself. you looked up from the dough in your hands and simply regarded the old man, an uncharacteristic nonchalance marring your features.

"he was the only one that really understood and looked out for us the way he did. i ain't been able to eat peaches or anything of the like since then, but vettie is the one who couldn't sleep for the weeks after."

Alfie had long stopped chopping the onions for the dish at this point and all he could think was what has this poor child gone through?

TRAUMA TRAUMA TRAUMA TRAUMA TR

anywaaaaayzzzuh, I'm exhausted BUT yeah I just want to infect you lovingly with the brainworms of Jason bonding with a bat sibling reader who's a lot like him, and how he'd prevent a lot of pain that they ain't gotta go through because he went through the same.

And the things that he CAN'T prevent, because everyone deals with trauma differently, he's always gonna be there for you. And he wants you to know that.

reader is a bit wary of Dick because of his pure bubbliness and aura of flowers 🌸🌺🌻🌹🌷🌼💐and shooting stars — in Gotham?? — but Dick has an affinity to troubled kids and also . he's Dick Grayson, everybody loves him .

so he works together with Jason and soon enough, you're practically his respective child akshdjdhd

you and dami take a bit to come along BUTTTTT I hc that you come into their lives when Dami's a little older and therefore more matured.

I love Damian, I feel he'd be a pretty solid older brother figure.

the more time you spend there, the more you begin to trust your newfound family. (well, your pseudo siblings at least); the more you let your walls down, the more they get a peek into your true self- not just the distant exterior you put up.

you're thoughtful and generous; you like books and animals and know how to make ice cream from scratch with ice and plastic bags; you're resourceful and crafty - you learned how to hot wire cars and pick locks from the older kids down at the foster care home - but you don't try to give anyone headaches for it out of respect for Alfred, you claim solemnly.

you're a good kid.

it just takes a bit more for people to say that, and even more for you to let others see it.

I'LL BE BACK WITH MORE BUT PLEASE NOTE THAT I WROTE THIS THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT, CONTINUALLY PASSED OUT, AND IT'S THE FRICKIN MORNING ALREADY LMAOAOAOAOAOOO

OH MY GOD.

OH.

MY.

GOD.

ZEEP.

ZEEP WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME-

I just- Can I just-

If Brucie EVER tried to but reader in a cape Jason would lose his MIND.

How DARE you even THINK about putting the baby at risk? How dare you?

Totally just takes reader and brings them to his apartment until Bruce apologizes for even suggesting such a proposterous thing.

He's eventually forgiven but he's on thin ice okay?

Sleepovers at Jason's are also a very common thing.

Since he lives in the Narrows, it gives you the chance to roam your old stomping grounds and see your friends.

Poor reader has to go to all kinds of fancy dinner parties now.

Public appearences.

Such a drag.

Uncomfy clothes, and uncomfy people.

So, being the feral little street raised shit they are, reader says the most out of pocket freaky crap ever.

"Yeah, living in the Narrows as a kid was hard. Especially after the accident."

"Oh, yeah. I love my new home. The velociraptor in the backyard is a sweetheart."

"What do you mean Jason's supposed to be dead? He obviously got better. I've done it more than once. Yes I've died before. They said I can't tell you what comes after. Who's they? Don't worry about it."

And literally no one can say anything because their new dad is one of the richest men on Earth.

Also their first fancy gala something definitly went wrong.

Like lets says it gets targeted for some kind of robbery 'cus, ya know Gotham. And it's full of rich people.

Reader is literally like, "Fuck no. Get the hell out."

Grabs a bottle of champagne and breaks it over the ring leaders head with a loud shout of "ANARCHY!"

ALFIE AND OLD MAN PEACHES-

OH MY GOD I'M CRYING. I HOPE YOU KNOW I'M IN TEARS-

Also, the little punk stealing the CAR is hilarious. So much potential there.

Dick *interrupting Bruce for the upteenth time*: "Hey, B?"

Bruce *Severly annoyed*: "Yes, Nightwing? What is it?"

Dick: "Who's driving the car?"

*Que Jason wheezing over the comms*.

Dickie gives all kinds of nicknames.

Little wing, hoodlum, baby bird-

Him and Jason compete for your time.

Like there is an underground betting pool for who can get you to spend more time with whom.

Jason shows you all hid hidey places around the manor if you ever need a place to just- be

Tim helps with homework when Jason's not around (which isn't very often, Jason makes a point of visitiing often just to see you)

It makes for wonderful bonding with your busiest brother.

Damian, (though he will never admit it out loud), enjoys it when you join him in taking care of his animals.

Batcow and Jerry love you, and Alfred the cat has taken to sleeping in your room.

The two of you take Titus and Ace for walks, and Damian very smugly rubs it in Jason's face when a tabloid photo pops up of the two of you in matching sweaters and sunglasses.

"Clearly I am the superior brother, Todd. Even the media agrees."

"Well then I know it's bullshit because the media says it's true."

"Tt."

I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN INTO STEPH AND DUKE AND CASS AND BABS UGGHHH

THERE'S OTHER STUFF I wanna ADD BUT I'VE MADE YOU WAIT LONG ENOUGH I'M SO SORRY-

[jengis-morrangis]

Keeping Warm

I got the idea to this story from artwork by the talented @3three-question-marks. I’d also like to thank @pacific-ship for her amazing help beta reading this story for me. Enjoy!

A cold breeze came flowing into the attic of the Mystery Shack as Dipper cracked the door slightly and quickly slid his way through. “Close the door, hurry!” Mabel commanded from her bed.

“Okay, okay!” Dipper said as he fidgeted with the door. The handle wasn’t working correctly, so after a few failed attempts to close the door by turning the knob and pushing it, he decided to forcefully barge his shoulder into it, causing it to jam shut. 

He turned around to see Mabel sitting at the head of her bed. She was sitting up, legs crossed as she cupped the lantern between their bed with gloved hands. “My fingers are cold.” She whimpered dramatically. 

Dipper brought his hands up to his face, balling them into fists and twisting them next to his eyes with a sad face in a non verbal ‘boo hoo.’ Mabel gasped in response, and Dipper just barely had enough time to duck as a pillow came flying over his head. 

“Hey!” He shouted. Mabel smirked back at him.

“Could you toss that back to me?” She asked in her overly gentle voice she used when she asked for something. 

“What? You really think I’m gonna give it back?” 

Mabel flickered her eyelashes and smiled innocently. “Please?” 

Dipper groaned. He paused for a moment as he thought. “What if I don’t?” He asked boldly. 

“You will.” Mabel said with a smirk. Dipper raised his eyebrows as a challenge, and Mabel raised hers right back. Their impromptu staring contest stretched on for a moment before Dipper groaned again.

“Ugh. Fine.” He picked up the pillow and tossed it back to her. She caught it and hugged it snuggly to her chest.

“Thanks, Dip.”

“Don’t mention it.” He sat down on his bed and took off his outer coat. Mabel went back to cupping the lantern for warmth. 

Winter in Gravity Falls was a whole different ball game than Piedmont. The twins knew this when they prepared for winter break in Gravity Falls by packing lots of cold weather clothes, but this was ridiculous. Soos had installed insulation during renovations to the shack, but it was still freezing cold. 

To make matters worse, the heating to the shack had broken just before the twins arrived, so they had spent the entire first week of their trip doing whatever they could just to keep warm. They usually didn’t hang around the shack unless they were working. Instead, they’d go somewhere warmer, like the Gravity Falls public library or Greasy’s Diner. Anywhere to get out of the cold.

Unfortunately for them they couldn’t do that today. A massive blizzard had blown through town, and they had been snowed in, hardly able to even leave the shack. They had to find a way to stay warm. They were pleased to find a decent source of heat from the old, beat up wood furnace in the kitchen. The twins sat next to it and occasionally fed it wood during their game of cards.

At first it wasn’t very strong, so they had to sit next to it in winter clothing to keep warm, but by the end of the day they managed to warm the entire kitchen. They even had to take off their outer layers to keep from sweating. But of course, it couldn’t last, and soon the time came to sleep. 

At first they thought about sleeping in the kitchen. They tried to lay out their sleeping bags, but it just wasn’t comfortable. Eventually they gave up and resigned to the freezing attic. Now here they were, desperately trying to keep warm.

”Jeez. It’s so cold up here. I’ve got no idea how we’re going to get any sleep.” Dipper grumbled. Mabel looked around the room at their beds and covers. 

“Well Dip, I’ve got a fantabulous idea!” She grabbed her pillow and blanket before standing up and skipping excitedly across the room until she stood next to his bed. “Cuddle time!” 

“O-okay.” He unfolded his arms from around his chest and scooted back on the bed to make room for her before extending his arms as if to greet her with a hug. 

“Wait, what?” Mabel was thrown for a loop. 

“What about what?”

“Just like that?” 

“Just like what?”

“Usually you do that whole, ‘ugh Mabel I don’t wanna cuddle with you cause we’re way too old for that’ act, but I totally know you actually do wanna cuddle and you’re just faking it cause you wanna seem ‘grown up’ and all, then I gotta sweet talk you into it, then we cuddle and you pretend to not like it but I know you totally like it. So what gives? What’s the deal? You luring me into a trap or something? Gonna prank me?” She jokingly raised her fists in a defensive posture. Mostly jokingly.

Dipper sat in silence for a moment. His arms had lowered and his hands had fallen into his lap during Mabel’s rapid fire spiel. Mabel was ready for some sort of witty response. Instead, Dipper extended his arms out to Mabel again. “Please, Mabel. I’m so cold.”

Mabel was overwhelmed with sympathy and lowered her fists. She felt slightly guilty that she would think he would try to trick her. “Aw jeez, Dip. You’re such a cutie. I can’t say no to you.” She sat down on the bed next to him and they embraced each other. 

It was nice to lay down next to Dipper, but it didn’t feel like they were actually cuddling with all these layers on. She wanted to actually feel his warmth. “Hey Dip, take your coat off.” 

“What? Why?” 

“Cause this isn’t real cuddling. I need skin contact!” She whined.

“But isn’t the whole point of this to stay warm?”

“Skin contact!”

“Okay, fine! Crybaby.” He grumbled.

“Fine then! With that attitude I’ll just go back to my own bed.” She started to get up, but was quickly stopped when Dipper wrapped her in a hug.

“No! Please, Mabel, I was joking! I’m sorry!” She chuckled as she sat back down. 

“Alright, enough messing around. It’s cuddle time!” 

“Yes ma’am.” Dipper replied as he took off his coat.

They laid their coats on top of themselves to provide an extra layer from the cold. They cuddled close and wrapped their arms around each other, pressing their bodies together and snaking their arms around each other. Mabel breathed a comfortable sigh of relief. Much better. 

She had to admit that they were getting a bit too old for this. Or rather, too big. They were in their sophomore year of highschool, but thankfully were still able to fit on a single twin bed together. 

Several minutes passed in blissful silence. Their breathing became steady and slow, and soon Mabel began dozing off into sleep. Unfortunately, her dozing was interrupted by Dipper shifting away from her. The gap between them left room for the cold air, which to Mabel, felt comparable to a cold bucket of water being dumped on her legs. 

She quickly shifted closer to Dipper to close the gap between them and was satisfied by the warmth she found. She barely breathed a sigh of relief before Dipper shifted further away again. Mabel was especially annoyed once she realized he was keeping his distance intentionally.

“Diiiip, where are you going? Get back here bro!” Mabel whined. She tugged on him to draw him back to her, but he continued to resist her.

“N-no I don’t think we should get that cl-” Mabel linked her hands behind his back and pulled so that they collided together. He let out a high pitched squeak, squirmed out of her grasp and scurried away. But it was too late. In the short time that they were together, Mabel felt something brush against her thigh. Something warm, swollen and hard. She didn’t understand at first, but after a moment of eye contact with Dipper's flushed and embarrassed face, it dawned on her what was happening.

“Oh.”

“Ah jeez!” Dipper backed up so far he banged his head against the wall. He held his head where it hit and clenched his eyes shut. “I’m sorry, Mabel, I shouldn’t ha-” 

“Dip!” She interrupted. He went silent and peeked up at her. She didn’t know how she was feeling about this exactly, but she did know she didn’t want to hear Dipper apologizing right now. She wasn’t offended, that was for sure, and she wasn’t angry. At the most she was a bit shocked, but she was more curious than anything else.

“Why… why is it… I mean… why?”

“W-what?”

Mabel took a moment to collect herself before trying to form an actual question. “I mean… I know why it’s like that but… what’s causing it?”

Dippers face was continuing to get redder by the second. He opened and closed his mouth a few times with no words coming out before he finally spoke. “Are we really talking about this?”

“Dip! You don’t need to-” She took a breath to dial herself back and remember the kind of state he was in. “You don’t need to be ashamed. I’m not angry or anything. I swear. Just be honest.”

”Well… you really… I mean… sorry, it’s freezing out and I guess cuddling with a pretty girl really made my body… react.”

“Oh…” Was all Mabel said before they fell back into silence. Mabel tapped her fingers together while Dipper rubbed his face in shame. ”You think I’m pretty?” she asked after a long pause.

Dipper gave an embarrassed laugh at that. The question caught him so off guard that he thought she was joking at first. It wasn’t until he looked up and saw the hurt and confusion on her face that he realized she was serious.

The smile disappeared from his face. She was trying to keep her face inscrutable, but Dipper saw the fear hiding behind her eyes. She looked so vulnerable, and he had laughed at her. She wouldn’t say it out loud, but he could tell she was hurt by him laughing. “Of course. You’re the one who’s always bragging about how cute you are.” 

“Yeah I know that but… do you think I’m pretty?” Dipper looked down at the sheets at that, and even through the darkness Mabel could see a red tinge on his cheeks. He stayed like that for probably half a minute, silently considering what to say, hoping the darkness was concealing his embarrassment. 

“Y-yeah.” He said it like a guilty man confessing to a crime. 

She could tell she was blushing from that. She didn’t realize she had such an effect on Dipper. Mabel thought he was cute when he was embarrassed. But boner or not, she wanted to cuddle again.

“Well can we maybe… get back to cuddling?” Mabel asked. 

“Y-you still wanna cuddle? Even after… even with my…” He gestured down to his crotch area, blushing even more than he already was.

“Yes Dip, I’m sure of it. Like you said; your body and mind are all out of whack, which is fine. So stop being weird.” She gave him a bright smile and poked him in the shoulder in an attempt to dispel the awkwardness.

He shrugged awkwardly. “O-okay, I guess.” He laid down on his side and lifted the blanket so that Mabel could join him, which she did with an enthusiastic smile and a light giggle. She wrapped him in a hug and nuzzled into his side. After several minutes they got back into a gentle rhythm of breathing.

Mabel felt safe and secure in his arms, just like she had before the whole awkward cuddling boner situation unfolded. Speaking of which, she could still feel tension in his pajamas, a clear hint that it hasn’t gone away yet. Not that she minded, it’s not like he could control it. 

She thought again about what he had said, ‘cuddling with a pretty girl…’ She felt butterflies flutter in her stomach at the memory of those words. His words were so simple, yet so genuine. She could tell that he meant it. 

She turned her head up to look at him, and found him looking down at her. His eyes were different. There was an intense energy behind them that she couldn’t name, but it made her butterflies flap even harder. The feeling of comfort mixed with nervousness inside Mabel.

He was handsome, she thought. She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek as he did the same for her, rubbing a thumb across her jaw and making her skin tingle.

They were staring each other in the eyes, briefly flickering their gazes down to each other's lips. 

”Hey dudes! I got the heat fixed!” They suddenly heard Soos call up the stairs and his footsteps coming closer.

They briefly shared a look of terror before Mabel lunged to her bed, almost tripping on the blankets. She was sitting on her bed when the door creaked open and Soos peeked in.

”Hey dudes, I fixed the heat- woah! What happened?”

It was at this moment that Mabel realized how they looked. They were both red in the face and breathing heavily. Dipper was on his bed with both their blankets and Mabel was sitting on her bed awkwardly. 

”You okay dude?” He asked Mabel. “You look red as a tomato.” 

”Yeah, I’m fine. Just… hot.” She said as she glanced toward Dipper.

”Really?” Soos sounded puzzled. “Well if that’s the case then I guess I’ll just leave the heat off-”

“No! No!” The twins interrupted, causing Soos to jump. 

“Sorry… please keep it on.” Dipper said more calmly.

Soos looked between the two of them with a mixture of suspicion and confusion. “........You got it dudes!” He said before closing the door. His footsteps soon disappeared down the stairs.

The twins looked at one another. A million thoughts ran through their heads about what just happened, and what could have happened if they were caught doing what they were just doing. Soos probably wouldn’t think anything of it. They hugged, held hands and sat side by side on the couch all the time. But this was different, there was something more to what they just shared. Mabel thought. Or hoped. 

It started off as a giggle between them, but soon they were both laughing heartily, the noise bouncing around the attic and neither of them could contain themselves. Soon it died down and everything was silent again. They stared at each other for a moment before averting their gaze. Mabel felt the cold grip of embarrassment as she wrung her hands. She had no idea what to say. 

“Hey.” She looked up to see him toss her blanket over to her and she caught it just in time. She spread the blanket around her bed and laid back, then looked up to see Dipper laying on his back and smoothing out his sheets and pillow. He stopped and looked over at her. 

He had a gentle smile on his face that perfectly communicated how he felt, and she knew they felt the exact same way: There was something more behind what they just shared. She wasn’t sure what it was, but it was something deeply personal and intimate. And they were both totally cool with it. That made Mable’s insides goey for some reason.

“Goodnight, Mabel.” 

“Goodnight, Dipper. I love you.” Every muscle in Mabel’s body tensed as she realized what she had just said. She sat motionlessly in terrified silence, wondering why she said that. Then she wondered why something she had said thousands of times suddenly felt so different. It felt as though an eternity had passed before Dipper's response came.

“I love you too, Mabel.” Her horror evaporated in a second. The icy grip of embarrassment was suddenly replaced with a gooey warmth that made her face hot and built pressure in her stomach. She wondered why something she’d heard constantly from him was suddenly turning her into such a nervous, sweaty mess. She had no clue why anything this evening had happened the way it did. All she knew was that she was in way over her head.

Uh oh.

===

===

The attic was warm. Well, warmer.

Mabel lies alone in her bed. She had shed her winter clothes and changed into her pajamas. There was no need now that the heating was fixed.

She was so glad to finally have a sanctuary from the frigid cold. Now they didn’t have to loiter somewhere just to stay warm. But she couldn’t feel totally at ease. She was warm enough to sleep, but she didn’t feel comfortable enough to sleep. Tonight felt incomplete, like she had unfinished business.

She laid on her side, looking at her brother. Her eyes were barely open, just a sliver as she stared at him through the darkness. He was still in his pajamas, his orange nightshirt. He was laying with his hands behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, seeming to be in deep thought. 

She wanted so badly to be in his arms again and feel his warmth.

Mabel always thought it was cute when he made his thinking face when he didn’t think anyone was looking. The way his eyebrows would furrow and he would have a focused look in his eyes and his nose would scrunch slightly. This could be caused by any range of emotions, this time he seemed anxious.

He looked over at her, and she quickly shut her eyes. “Mabel. Mabel, are you awake?” He asked. She stayed silent. She didn’t want to talk. She was still shaken by what happened earlier, and they haven’t spoken since. She knew that any conversation they had would inevitably lead to it, and she had no idea what to say. She felt so awkward, something she rarely felt, and she hated every time she felt it. 

She heard him shift slightly and could tell that he went back to staring at the ceiling. She slowly cracked her eyes open again, and saw that he had. Suddenly she felt a tickle in her nose. It was growing fast, and she couldn’t stop it before she inhaled and let out a quick sneeze.

There was a moment of silence and Mabel shut her eyes again. No doubt Dipper was looking at her. She was waiting for him to go back to looking at the ceiling so she could—

“You know it’s physically impossible to sneeze while sleeping, right?” Mabel could hear the grin on Dipper's face. Mabel cursed herself internally. Was that true? Is he just trying to trick her? Dangit Dipper!

Mabel groaned as she propped herself up on her pillow to make eye contact with him. “Ugh, jeez. You’re such a dork. Why do you know so much useless garbage.” 

“It’s not useless if it came in handy, is it?” Dipper said, still smiling. 

“Ugh, mega dork!”

They stared at each other for a little. Not breaking eye contact other than to blink. Dipper’s cocky grin had faded, and now his eyes seemed to be full of questions he was too afraid to ask. Mabel was sure she probably looked the same. But it wasn’t just that. There was something else in his eyes. Something powerful. Something she had only ever seen earlier when they were cuddling during their brief eye contact. It scared her.

“Can’t sleep?” Dipper broke the silence.

“Nope.” 

“Still cold? I could give you my jacke—”

“No it’s not that.” Mabel felt her insides tingle at his concern. Gosh he’s such a sweetheart. “Just… lonely…” She said vaguely.

Dipper scoffed lightly. “Lonely? I’m right here!” 

“Yeah, aaaaall the way over there.” Dippers eyebrows raised slightly. He seemed to understand, but didn’t say anything. He was silent for a moment, clearly thinking. He seemed nervous about whatever he was mulling about in his mind. 

“Want to… come over? We could have a sleepover?” 

Her smile spread into a grin and her heart began beating faster again. “Y-yes… I’d love that!” Her face erupted with a huge smile and Dipper’s face mirrored her in turn.

Wrapping herself in her blanket, she journeyed across the creaking wooden floor to Dipper’s bed. He scooted away closer to the wall to make space for her before she laid down next to him. She curled right into his chest and they intertwined their legs so just about every part of them was touching.

Whatever questions or worries they had could wait for another time. But for now, they could enjoy each other's warmth.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Five Fantabulous Fics Friday: New Year’s Edition! (Jan 1/21)

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!! Thought I would do this once again since I have the fortunate luck that Christmas AND New Year’s fell on Fridays this year, so may as well take the opportunity to give you guys so many lists on my holidays that y’all will beg me to please stop LOL.

Here are five of my fave Johnlock fics that take place on or around New Year’s! <3 An easy list to make, since there’s woefully a lack of New Year’s fics. So that said, if you have any of your own to add, please do! <3

Hope y’all have a great 2021, and that this will help start the year off right :)

----

New Year, New Beginning by DaisyFairy (T, 810 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, New Year’s Eve, John POV, Friends to Lovers) – New Year at a crime scene and John makes a decision.

Unimpressed by 221b_hound (M, 3,106 w., 1 Ch. || New Year’s Eve, Dancing, Jealousy) – Sherlock has no intention of attending the Met's New Year's Eve party. The start of a new year is all but meaningless to him. But he ends up there anyway, having odd conversations, and John does not find Sherlock's jealousy the slightest bit cute. And then there is dancing. Part 10 of Unkissed

And as the seasons change, I love you more by Teatrolley (NR, 3,219 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, Est. Rel., Marriage / Proposal) – A year in the lives of John and Sherlock, essentially.

Coldness/Heat by agirlsname (E, 3,790 w., 1 Ch. || Cuddling & Snuggling, Body Heat, New Year’s Eve, PWP, Bedsharing, Frottage) – The inn is booked up on New Year's Eve. The train home is cancelled because of the snow. The only option is to sleep in the non-heated guest room of a client, and John and Sherlock are freezing. You know where this is going. Part 1 of New Year's Kiss

Another Auld Lang Syne by DiscordantWords (M, 30,234 w., 31 Ch. || Post S4, Mutual Pining, Alternating POV, Introspection, Parentlock, Christmas, New Year’s, First Kiss, Past Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending, Drinking, Sherlock Whump) – There had been years of missed chances.

[the-fiction-witch]

I’m A Genius

REAL LIFE SCANDAL COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: FUNNY

"Hello! everybody." Thomas smiled in y/n's kitchen his button-down half undone and a glass of wine in his hand "Now... Now... Plot" He giggled "Y/n has gone out. Yes, she has... she had gone to the doctor and then to her family and then, somewhere else, she did tell me but that was six hours and two bottles of wine ago" He explained "And she has left all her filming stuff so I thought for fucking funzies I would film a video, yes this is not planned, it is not on the weekly sheet but I'm doing it! because you and me we... we don't connect you know we don't spend time, one on one" He smiled "Now! I thought I would do a nice video, Because she is out all day and Because I rather enjoy cooking I would make her a fantabulous dinner, and then I had a confident glass of wine... well, confidence, Bottle of wine" He explained "and now I shall make... dinner. Of some sort. I do not know what. But I will figure that out" He says and One of the lights  fell down "Oohh... that's what the nob went into" He says "Hahh nob, Ohh god I'm five." He laughs "I think it's time... for more wine, and y/n isn't here to tell me no so... tis more wine time," he says filling his glass up "I am going to make... something with chicken because she took chicken breast out the freezer, .... haha Breast. and something that will pair well with wine" He says looking around the kitchen "Ooooh I can make, spicy chicken there is a leftover seasoning packet from a wrap kit" He says as he dug through the cupboards "Is it out of date?... yes. But it's like... a bag of spices what's to go out of date" He shrugs bringing it and some chicken to the table "... We have wraps in the bread bin. I could make wraps. with veggies and stuff.... does that sound good? y/n isn't here to tell me so, Fuck it we're doing it" He says picking up his wine sloshing it around to airait it but some fell on the countertop "don't do it... don't do it, Thomas. don't lick the wine." He muttered "You're an adult man, don't lick the wine off the counter"

there was clearly a cut but when it returned the wine was gone and his shirt was now dirty

"Okay! step one For Thomas makes dinner for y/n, get some chicken breast lovingly defrosted by your beautiful local woman. If you do not have a local woman a local man is also fine. it will not change the flavors, Ohh I just realized how offensive that sounds. I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. Okay, step one is... take the chicken out the packet"He says but the packet broke "Ohh for... fuck it I'm knifing it, Now if you are a small child or just s stupid person knives are not safe... so don't use knives. According to the house rules, I should not be even operating this knife, Because I lack adult supervision, which is y/n. and... I am not my own adult apparently, according to some people" He says drinking more wine and knifing the packet of chicken and putting it all out to a cutting board "Step to, cut the chicken into chunks small enough to not burn but big enough not to have to cut them up while eating them... think stab with three fork prongs." he explained why cutting "Ooh... No, I didn't cut myself. It's okay... I don't need y/n's supervision I am a man in my thirties I do not need my wife to tell me how to hold my knife... it's my knife"  he says waving the knife around a bit "Step three is to put the chicken on a tray, and sprinkle with the magic powder" he says "But not if your magic powder is white. that's... a different kind of magic powder, and you shouldn't eat that. don't do drugs kids. Or wine. Or sex. children should just... be taken away and educated by robots and returned to society at eighteen. Ohhh y/n's gonna kill me" He laughs "I can feel her anger, even if she's not here, I can feel the fact she'll be mad at me when she gets home" He explained "Next throw it in the oven until your whole house makes your eyes water with spice, when you feel you can taste spice in the air it's done" He explained "Ooh y/n bought premade cut up salads... so I do not need to cut veggies and such. so... what do I do till the chicken is done?" He says "Oooh I could make dessert," He says "we have strawberries. I shall cut them up and make chocolate covered strawberries and cream which is y/n's favourite" He smiled getting strawberries and a few other things "I shall double boil the chocolate, because If I do it in the microwave... I shall burn it" he explained "chocolate!!" He cheered throwing two broken bars into the bowel "I think y/n is gonna be mad, but she loves me so... maybe she won't murder me" he laughed "Strawberries for y/n" He smiled cutting them up "I wonder if she worries about me when she's out, does she worry about me? does she worry what I get up to all alone without her, I worry about her when she's not here, I think she worries about me like if I'm gonna cut my fingers off, or set fire to my shed, I'm more accident prone then I thought I was." He shrugs "she shouldn't worry about me, I just do this when she's not here. Just sleep, eat, play PlayStation, and furiously masturbate but... I think she knows I do that" he says "I need to whip this... but the whisk is not working..... If I stick the whisk in my drill. Ha! I'm a genius!" He smirked "Now... the chicken should be done." He says putting the desert away "Fuck. God damn it... It's one thing to get drunk, and for the sake of jokes go a bit overboard with being weird for the sense of comedy,  But then I do something genuinely dumb and not even turn the oven on." he sighed

"Thomas?" Y/n called from the door so he cleaned up slightly and turned the oven on

"Hi honey"

"What... what happened in here?" Y/n asks from off-camera

"I'm making dinner," He says

"Are you now?" she laughs coming into shot looking at the mess he has made "why is the whisk in your drill?"

"The whisk wouldn't turn on"

"did you plug it in?"

".... I did not"

"Thank you Thomas, but... less wine next time" she laughs giving him a cuddle

"Yes dear" He smiled cuddling her too and giving her a kiss

"Give me a wine"

"Yes dear," He smirked pouring her a glass of wine.

[kaylathekittykat225]

Blood Stains on the Couch // Jason Todd X Reader

Warning/s: fluff, some smol cursings

Word Count: 1736

Sometimes you wanna write something that is short and sweet and understandably fluff, so here is my blurb between me writing two giant stories at the moment. Those are coming up, one for Steve Harrington that I’m excited to get out and then another name I am dabbling in for the first time: Anakin Skywalker, so this should all be fun when those finally come up.

Anyway my loves, hope you enjoy this love for Jason Todd, because him and Dick Grayson are tied for my favorite bird boys because I just love them so much for their own reasons and ugh. When you are a writer and you can’t properly use your words to talk about the things you usually type about. My struggle is real guys. It’s rough.

Here’s my Masterlist.

Enjoy.

—–

Jason walked through the door at two am and you were sitting on the couch in your apartment’s living room, watching the TV with a bowl of popcorn sitting on your lap. When you two first moved in together, all he did was complain about how you should trio up with Roy and get a larger apartment for less money for the three of you, but you stood your ground and gave him a hardass no. Just the thought of the two of them living in the same apartment was a nightmare and pigsty enough to imagine, but you also wanted to live at this apartment, so hard pass from your end. For you, this place was home, you had a bed to sleep in, some movies to watch, your boyfriend with you and food in the fridge. There was nothing more for you to want in the world right now.

Sleeping in Gotham gets you used to hearing odd noises at night, and the squeak of the window in your bedroom was one that you didn’t have to jump at every time you heard the glass sliding against the wooden frame. You thought of it now like a bell at the front door of shops that let the workers know that there was a new customer in the store. Only, it's your boyfriend and not a random customer and it's your home and not a store...not a good way to think about it if being honest. Either way, when you heard the sliding window, you looked curiously towards your room.

“Jay?” The entire house was dark besides the lamp next to you on the coffee table and the blue backlight of the TV that you paused while waiting to hear a response. The door swung open before your eyes and a large bulky figure loomed in the doorway, their wide shoulders blocking most of the moonlight from moving further into the hallway. There were no defining features around the person’s head, leading you to assume that it was Jason with his helmet on and being dramatic as possible. “Do you always have to be so dramatic?”

You could hear Jason chuckle through the modulator in his helmet as you turned back to the TV and continued watching March of the Penguins; yes, that is the level of bore and doneness you are facing right now. Jason’s heavy footsteps thudded across the room as he stepped closer to you, all the while you didn’t give him much notice and instead focused on the penguins as they slid across the ice towards the mating grounds they were searching for.

The drama queen you loved and called your boyfriend stood over you, giving you a better look at him now that his features were visible from the front with your lamp rather than backlit by the light from outside. He walked right into the living room so he was still in his patrol uniform: jeans, holsters, hand guns, everything was still on him; his boots were off and he was padding around with just his socks on, because he knew better than to track mud through your bedroom and into the rest of the room. The towering giant you dated looked like a little kid right now if all you focused on was his feet

Looking higher up his body, you noticed how his dark jeans worked well in hiding blood, but you knew how the blood hid itself in the fabric and it was scattered over his thighs. If it was old or new blood, that’s something you didn’t care to notice or figure out, but they were getting to the point of you needing to steal them and wash them before tomorrow’s patrol. His jacket and shirt were pretty clean, he liked it that way and made sure that his good jacket that he has had for years was okay and not dirty. Finally, his helmet, the blood red helmet that scared the living daylights out of you the first time you saw him wearing it. Now you knew better and that it was still him under the hard-red material.

“You just gonna stand there all night?” The question slurred through your mouth, mixing with a yawn as you reached your arm up to him in a welcoming gesture to join you on the couch.

“Depending on if you were gonna keep this penguin shit on.” Jason’s voice was modulated through most of his comment while he unlatched it and pulled his head free from it, finally letting you see his gorgeous features. His eyes were still blocked by the domino mask he was reaching for, but you finally see him; his jaw, his lips, the freckles on his nose. Everything was for you to stare at and happily take in; this, this was the reason you would stay up until four every morning, to see his face coming out of his mask. Also, just to see his face. Because his face is handsome.

You continued to stare at him as he dropped his two masks onto the table in front of the couch, your arm still extended in the air for him to notice. “I am gonna keep watching my movie, its calming and I don’t have to think about too much.” He rolled his eyes at you before he tugged the blanket off your lap and pressed his knee between your legs, wiggling your legs further apart before more or less falling on top of you.

“Jaaaay, you’re gonna get blood on the couch. Go change your pants.” The whining in your voice did not match the threading of your fingers through his thick hair, the white hairs finding their way to mix into the dark ones. He groaned at you pushing your fingers into his scalp, shivers running down his back as you continued to massage your fingers through his hair.

“But you’re so comfy.” He said, his voice muffled from being shoved into your stomach. At this point with his body getting heavier and falling in line with yours, pushing the both of you to not want to move to your bedroom.

A beat of quiet filtered through the room as your movie displayed the stages of life of the young baby penguin freeing itself from its shell, leaving the protective belly flap of its father, waiting for the arrival of its mother. The circle of life as it grows.

Ten minutes passed of Jason tracing patterns into your hip bone just below his nose and you carding your fingers through his hair before you felt his chest constrict as he began to push himself up from laying on top of you. “Baaaaaabe, where’re ya goin’?” Your words held a slur behind them, sleep was begging your body to fall into its warm embrace as it was nearing two am at this point and you had to be awake in the morning for work. But this time was Jason time when you got to see him. And you were now cold with air moving between the space of your legs and his chest.

“You’re the one bitching at me to change my pants, so I was gonna go change ‘em and come back.” His voice was heavy, a trait like how yours slurred, and a yawn midway through his thought confirmed he was just as close to sleep as you were.

“But I said that before you made me get comfy. Now I’m cold.” Your lower lip sticks out in a pout and your arm quickly wrapped over your body to make yourself look smaller, being sleepily angry at him.

“Aw, now we can’t have that, now can we?” Your boyfriend spoke as he leaned forward again, almost like he was going to return to his pillow of your stomach, but as his face got closer to yours, you unhooked your crossed arms and allowed him to plant his head right on your chest. Having to look down your nose at him, you watched, and honestly felt, him rubbing his face into your chest, trying to get comfy on his new pillow. “Mmmm, squishy.”

“I am dating a literal eight-year-old.” Grumbling about Jason’s comment on your boobs, you flicked his ear while your arms moved to wrap around his shoulders and rest on his back. He lifted his hand to your arm and grabbed hold of your wrist, moving the arm you just put on top of him. Todd led your hand to his face and you felt him press a kiss to the inside of your wrist before he moved his hand to twine together with yours and tucking your clasped hands to his chest where you could feel the deep and methodical beating of his heart.

“I am not an eight-year-old, I’m eleven thank you very much.” Small chuckles of laughter filled the air as you lost all motivation to continue bantering and teasing him as your dulled focus turned back to the screen and you were beckoned even deeper into sleep. “Y/N, you should get to bed. You’ll kill your back and you will be angry at me for not moving you.” You didn’t answer him right away, not even the annoyed hum you usually do to him.

He lifted his head to look up at you, finding your eyes already shut Jason connected your slower and more methodical breathing to be you already falling asleep. Sighing, he placed his head back down on your chest and stared back to the TV, finding the narrator’s voice calming and lullaby-like to be the reason you fell asleep would also be the same one that would claim him for the land of dreaming and sleep.

Always the small moments were the ones that define a relationship. It wasn’t always about the fancy dates, the kissing, the loving each other, the sex, or anything like that. Sometimes all it was was Jason coming home from a night of patrolling the city and kicking bad guys into cells and then cuddling in funny ways on your ratty couch. This couch holds many memories, none of them grand or fantabulous, but it was memories of nights like this, when you wake up in the morning with a small ache in your back and the blood stains that transferred from Jason’s uniform to the fabric upholstery of the couch that made you smile.

[soft-baby-dobrik]

messy // david dobrik

a/n: i love drunk imagines bc i love alcohol ALSO REQUESTS ARE OPEN SO PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS ON YOUR BEAUTIFUL MINDS AND I’LL SEE IF I CAN WHIP SOMETHING UP! :))

REQUEST:  you’re writing is so good!!!! can you do an imagine where the reader gets drunk at a party and david takes care of her :))) and it’s like pre-relationship? thanks!!

summary: david takes care of your messy drunk self because he likes you. oooo

masterlist

requests are open

follow my instagram (david page) <3

Part of being part of the vlog squad was partying. It wasn’t forced but it was a common outing everyone enjoyed. Not everyone would drink, some would just watch the others intoxicated and make a fool of themselves. That is what David did a lot. Maybe a cup or two of liquor or beer and then the rest of the time spent giggling and watching the footage unfold. Going out with everyone was one of your favorite pass times. Between the tiny bit of alcohol running through you and the constant goofiness that caused you to laugh, it was euphoric. Every outing was a new memory, so when it came up to go out with everyone tonight, you were beyond excited.

The second the text was sent, you were flying out of your bed and towards your closet. Once you picked out a pair of skinny jeans a cute top, you rushed into the bathroom to take a quick shower and then do your usual routine. By the time you had finished, it was the time you were supposed to be ready, and David was pulling up that moment. After you grabbed all the items you needed, you rushed out the door and towards the car. Scotty and Kristen were sat in the back of the car, along with Todd and Zane.

Kristen screamed loudly once she saw you. “y/n! You look gorgeous!!” she grinned as you climbed into the front seat. Somehow every time David was picking you up, the passenger seat was waiting for you. Beaming, you turned around and looked at her.

“Look at yourself, babe!” you called back. “Scotty better step his game up before I swoop in,” you continued, cheekily. Both of you giggled at each other as Scotty pressed a kiss to her forehead. A small smile overtook you as you turned back to the front seat. Small chatter filled the car as David turned up the music volume. The feel in the car was comfortable as you leaned back into your seat. Both of you and David looked at each other and smiled as Zane would randomly get loud and scream about something, and then Todd, and then Zane again. You just sat calmly and laughed along to the banters.

Once David found a parking spot, you all climbed out of the car. The rest of the group meeting had driven in a couple separate cars. After everyone was out of their cars, you all piled into the party. This party wasn’t as loud. There was music playing, but not too loud to where you couldn’t talk to one another. You stood next to Corinna, both laughing at the boys already chugging down shots. Immediately, Todd called you over to take shots with him and Zane. Easily, you moved through the group and had a shot poured for you.

“Okay round one!” Todd screamed before you all grabbed the shot and threw it back. This routine continued a couple times, making your throat burn and your body was warm. After the fifth round, you were feeling the effects of the liquor. Your head was a little fuzzy and you began to laugh at nothing. Zane and Todd continued taking shots as you leaned against the counter. A smile was plastered on your face as you let the alcohol run through your limbs. After a couple minutes, David stood next to you.

“Five shots, huh?” David laughed as you nodded meekly.

“Kind of regretting it because when I crash I’m going to crash, but right now, I feel amazing!” you smiled. His hand was right next to yours as you both held onto the counter.

“You’re going to be a mess,” David giggled, looking down at you. You shrugged casually, letting your eyes scan the room.

“I already am,” you grinned, laughing at yourself. He shook his head at you, before looking over to the other people taking shots. You spent a couple more minutes observing the room before you peeled yourself off the counter and towards the crowd of people. No thought was given towards any of your actions as you came to a crowd of guys chugging a bottle. Smiling, you let yourself stand in front of them, watching them take turns. One of their eyes met yours and he grinned cheekily. He offered the bottle towards you. A moment of thought was given to whether or not your should take it, and before you even realized it, your hand was grasping the handle. The next thing you knew, the bottle was flung back and you chugged the burning liquor down your throat, hearing the crowd uproar in cheers. You continued on until you felt like you were going to spit out the liquid on everyone. With a final gulp, you handed the bottle back to see the group of guys screaming at you.

Almost immediately, you felt dizzy. Those five shots made you slightly reckless and now you were feeling dizzy. Somehow, David came next to you.

“David!” you squealed, smiling at him.

“y/n, are you okay?” he asked, dipping his head to look at you.

“I am fantabulous,” you giggled, cheerfully, booping his nose with your index finger.

“Did you just chug some of that bottle?” he asked, as you swayed.

“Maybe,” you giggled again.

“How much?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at you.

“David, it didn’t have measurements so I don’t know,” you grinned, throwing your arms around his neck.

“You’re shitfaced already, y/n. We’ve been here for less than an hour,” he said, laughing slightly.

“Oops!” you smiled, making David sway with you. Suddenly, your favorite song came blasting through the speakers and you squealed in happiness. “David! I love this song! Dance with me!” you screamed loudly, with pure excitement. He shook his head at you and laughed.

“y/n, I don’t dance,” he responded. Instantly, you jutted your lip out at him and your eyes opened up widely to bat your eyelashes.

“Please,” you whined. With a smile and a shake of his head, he tugged you to his body in the dance floor and let you both sway to the music, as you screamed out the lyrics. One song turned into a twenty, and your felt your body become tired as you let your head fall against David’s chest.

“y/n, are you okay?” he asked, pulling away to look at your face. 

“I’m sleepy,” you replied, looking at his face. Your lips were pouted as your eyes closed. David’s hand grabbed yours and pulled you towards an empty couch in the other room. He plopped down on the couch and you did the same. “Will you play with my hair?” you asked, biting your lip. He nodded and you let your head fall into his lap. Awkwardly, his fingers entangled into your hair and toyed with the strands. “Hey, David?” you murmured, turning your head to look into his eyes.

“Hey, y/n,” he smiled.

“You know you’re like the best guy ever?” you mused, looking up at his face with a smile. “Like you are the best person ever and you’re always so nice to me and take care of me and make me laugh and you’re just the best friend I could ever have,” you rambled out, poking his cheek with a smile. 

“It’s just because you’re the sweetest girl. You deserve someone to do all that and more for you,” he responded with a side smile. 

“David Dobrik!” you exclaimed loudly. “You are by far the best guy I have ever met. I hope I find a boyfriend like you one day,” you smiled, cuddling into his lap. 

“You deserve someone better than me,” he laughed, looking down at your face. 

“There is no one better than you! You make me so happy and smiley and giggly and I had like the biggest crush on you for like three years,” you rambled out, giggling as his facial expressions changed. Suddenly, your eyes began to close as you felt sleepiness come over you. Right before you could fall asleep, David’s voice woke you:

“C’mon y/n, let’s get you home.” 

A loud whine left you as David stood up and pulled you up with him.

“David,” you mumbled, looking up at him. He looked at you, showing you had his attention. “I don’t wanna go home,” you pouted and he laughed at you. 

“You can stay at my place tonight,” he smiled, throwing an arm around you and guiding you towards the car.

“Wait, where is everyone?” you asked, looking around.

“They’re gunna pile in the other cars, you need to go home now,” he said, sweetly, as he opened the car door for you to flop into. As you were putting on your seat belt, David climbed into the driver’s seat. 

“That’s abandoning them,” you responded, looking at him with puckered lips.

“y/n, you’re shitfaced and were about to slump out on the couch, so we had to leave then,” he laughed, looking over to you as he began to drive.

“I was not!” you argued, making him laugh. “I was resting my eyes!”

“Whatever you say,” he responded.

“I’m tired,” you whispered, cuddling into the seat.

“We’ll be at my house in a couple minutes,” he said.

“Okay,” you murmured, waiting in silence until you both reached his house.

“Alright, we’re here,” he said and you groaned in response.

“I don’t wanna walk,” you whined. He laughed loudly before climbing out and heading to your side. His head popped up on your side of the car as he unbuckled you. You whined again as he tugged your body gently out and to a standing position.

“We’ll go inside and I’m going to give you a pair of sweatpants and then you can lay down,” he said, sweetly as he held you against his side and guided you both inside. Both of you kicked off your shoes and he guided you into his room. Quickly, he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and handed them to you. “Change and I’ll be right back,” he smiled at you before retreating out of the room. You slipped out of your jeans and into his sweatpants. Just as you climbed into his bed, he came back in with a pair of sweatpants on and water in one hand and ibuprofen in the other. You giggled as he handed you both.

“Now, I’m going to sleep on the couch, so you just get comfy,” he whispered, smiling down at you.

“I want cuddles,” you whined, pouting your lips at him.

“y/n, go to sleep,” he whispered and you shook your head. 

“I want to cuddle,” you repeated, looking up at him through your eyelashes. “Please,” you whispered. Quietly, he climbed into bed next to you. His eyes looked at yours before he turned off the light. Uneasily, his hand snaked to hold your waist. Your head cuddled into his chest as his rubbed your back, gently.

“y/n,” he whispered as you listened to his heart race.

“Are you okay?” you murmured.

“Yes,” he whispered, “You know how earlier you said you had a crush on me for two year?” he paused for your response. You told him you did. “I’ve had a crush on you for three years, y/n.” He paused again as you felt your heart raced. 

“I never stopped having a crush on you,” you mumbled, keeping your eyes closed in the dark, biting your lip.

“Me neither,” he whispered, pressing a tiny kiss to your forehead. “Now go to sleep.” You nodded against his chest with a smile.

You murmured, “You are the sweetest guy ever.”

“We’ll see how you feel in the morning if you have a hangover,” he laughed.

“Well, as long as you cuddle me, I’ll be okay. Oh and tell me all this again,” you giggled, making him laugh again.

“I have no problem with either,” he whispered, kissing your forehead again. “Goodnight, y/n.”

a/n: im???? not sure how i feel about this??? uhhhh but yeah. hope it was okay?? :/

[stagekiller]

@crimescupid || Meme ||  accepting  ( 2 / 5 )

-BREATHES- GIVE ME THAT CHAOTIC COUPLE SHIP. That Harley and Jerome content 👌👌   

How did they they meet? Harley moved into Haly’s when she was 14. Their first meeting ( which is in a thread that I couldn’t find somewhere ) consisted of her approaching carrot cake and asking for help with something ( she was bored ) The two of them hit it off p fast from there tbh

Who developed romantic feelings first? I’d say the timing was pretty much mutual.

Who is their biggest “shipper?” In their world, pretty much nobody ships them let’s be real. Everyone warns Harley to stay away and I can’t blame them honestly. But little do they know that she’s just as horrible When they’re older, they’re known as Akrham’s poster couple but I don’t think that means people ship them.

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances? I don’t think we’ve written or discussed their first kiss, but I’m willing to bet it happened amidst bantering. They have this habit of challenging each other to everything so I feel like it was probably a moment of mutual pining where one of them indirectly challenged the other to do it.

Who confessed their feelings first? I think it was Harley but I’m so bad at keeping track of all our threeeads

What was their first official date? I think their first date on threads was in that one bridge thread we had, you know the one. But technically even their first meeting was lowkey a date.

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?  I wouldn’t say they mind them but they can be very annoying AND disgusting to hang around. Jerome would prefer double dates if there was a scheming context or something to gain from them, however, as he finds the premise of just hanging out a bit dull.

What do they do in their down time? Bicker, indulge each other’s worst qualities, blow things up, blow each other, traumatize people, test Jimbo Gordon’s patience, make fun of Harvey Bullock’s beard, pester their couple therapist, threaten Arkham’s boards, host game shows together, play UNO, cheat at UNO, bicker again, make up, clown around, etc etc

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like? Needless to say Joe & Vivian weren’t that fond of Jerome at first. Vivian was easy to sway but Joey never trusted him and was probably right not to. As for the other way around, Jerome never officially introduced Harley to Lila, neither was Lila aware that they were dating for so long. She knew Jerome had flings and didn’t really care about his personal life. If Harley and Lila had met, it would have been a coincidence around the circus camp and not a formal introduction. As for his Uncle, Zach, up to the point he left the circus to open his own diner in Gotham, he must have seen Harley around and probably commented that she’s a nice piece in a very sleazy fashion, but that’s about it.

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it? Their first fight must have been after a jealous fit over Grayson from Jerome. At least that’s the first one we have recorded on threads. They didn’t really ‘get past it’ ,as  in, solve anything. As most of their fights, it was just an intense yelling moment, then silent treatment, then one of them got over it first, stopped sulking and approached the other to reconcile.

Which one is more easily made jealous? BOTH ARE HORRIBLE,WE KNOW THIS

What is their favourite thing to get to eat? JUNK FOOD because they’re both horrible like that. They share a mutual passion for candy so catching the two of them sharing a bag of marshmallows isn’t an unusual sight. If you’re lucky, they won’t be feeding each other too because that can get awkward real fast.

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favorite cuddling position? Harley is more openly cuddly and will initiate them most of the time. That’s not to say Jerome isn’t, though. He often snuggles up to her in bed and enjoys resting his head in her lap and having her stroke his hair.

Are they hand holders? In their baby verse they’d often hold hands when out together and sometimes swing them, especially on the walk back to the circus camp after their ‘adventures’ ( destroying public property and traumatizing people ) In their older verse it’s a bit more rare but it’s not unusual to see them holding hands & swinging them while watching an explosion together.

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances? Again, we haven’t discussed or threaded about this, but, knowing them, it probably didn’t take them long to get there. I don’t think it was something special, but I do think it was spontaneous and they hadn’t planned it out. It probably happened in public, maybe while they were stargazing by the river or behind Harley’s RV. They’d have probably been in their late teens by then, with Jerome being more experienced in the matters, so I feel like, while it was definitely not something out of a movie, it may have been one of their most genuine/softest moments together.

Who tops? Pre-death it was most often carrot cake but post-death he discovered his inner power bottom so Harley takes the reigns sometimes nowadays. And by takes the reigns I mean she beats THE LIFE out of him <3

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?  Okay, hear me out. It was probably the FIRST time Jerome died. At the time, Harley and him had squabbled over Galavan’s intentions, with Harley trying to warn him that something was too sweet to be true and Jerome taking this as a ‘you don’t believe in me’. When Jerome got stabbed on live TV, Harley was locked in Arkham with nothing she could do about it and watched the whole thing. Jerome probably thought about her words in his final moments with a smile, because he found it so tragicomic. The energy there is hecking painful.

Who does the shopping and the cooking? In most verses they don’t lead a very average, day to day, normal kinda couple life so I’d say neither. In their runaway AU verse, Harley shops and Jerome cooks ( because Harley is an awful cook, you didn’t hear it from me )

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness? Definitely Harley. She CAN be organized while Jerome has just no concept of tidiness.

Who proposes? Hear me out. Both at the same time and then they start bickering about who proposed first and end up cancelling the wedding ... but make up and throw an impromptu ceremony ( shotgun wedding ) last minute anyway.

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate? Unfortunately, because it was such a last minute decision and they were both drunk off their minds, they didn’t get to have a party. But, when they sobered up they did realize their mistake. There’s still an ongoing debate as to whether having one now would be considered cheating or not.

Who is the best man/maid of honor? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids? Jerome had several groomsmen, of which only Mr. Mime came out relatively unscathed. The others were so astounded by the glamor of their ceremony that they lost their heads. ( he duct-taped a few back on  though )

Big Ceremony or Small? The couple whose special day they robbed apparently had plenty of friends invited, so it was quite a big ceremony. It was also displayed on next morning’s news reports, so it was pretty big, yes. Fantabulous.

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?  We have yet to progress that thread but I would say that if they do end up going on honeymoon it will probably be some tropical island that gets literally obliterated while they’re there. A world-wide tragedy.

Do they have children? How many? If you count Bud, Lou and Mr. Mime, then they have two hyenas and a mime. Jerome to this day refuses to count Harley’s pet pig as a kid because he says it’s ‘walking bacon’

[we-are-fam-ily]

With a Pricking of My Thumbs

Chapter 3 of my FaerieAU!

Read it on AO3 here!

Toil and Trouble, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Epilogue

Wordcount: 1,022

Trigger Warnings: High school, One (1) curse word

Beta’d by the fantabulous @ninja-kitty-more-like-no!

Patton and Aerin bundled through the front door cheerfully. The young faerie almost called out a greeting, but his friend Logan caught his attention from the couch and put a finger in front of his lips. Patton nodded and snuck around, pulling out his phone as he went.

There, asleep on the couch with his head in Logan’s lap, was Patton’s brother.

“He was adamant that he wait up for the two of you. I must confess I did nothing to rouse him when he began sleeping an hour ago,” Logan whispered. Patton giggled softly and snapped a photo of Virgil for blackmail later.

Logan looked down at the boy in his lap with a fond smile. “Did the two of you enjoy yourselves?”

Patton nodded, and Aerin ruffled Logan’s hair as she passed behind the couch on her way upstairs. “The full moon revel is always fun, LoLo. You oughtta come with sometime!”

Logan snorted. “Virgil warned me beforehand of the things that happen to humans at the faerie revels, I think I’ll stay out of it.”

The faerie pouted and flopped down into the armchair next to the couch, watching his brother and his brother’s boyfriend with a little bit of longing. “Nobody does anything fun with me anymore…”

“I would like to caution you against saying such things around your mother.”

With a quiet laugh, Patton stood back up. “I should head to bed. D’you need anything before I go?”

“No, thank you, Patton.”

Patton ambled up the stairs to his and Virgil’s shared room. It would be neat, he thought, to have a relationship like his brother’s.

~~

The winter break ended abruptly and with no fanfare. Patton expected the first day back to school to be as uneventful as the last days of the holiday, but he was wrong. Very wrong.

Whispers filled the halls as soon as the trio set foot on campus. A transfer student, they said.

A hot transfer student.

Hey, that transfer student is a little odd.

The transfer student spend a long time counting Lydia’s colored pencils in art.

Seriously! Lydia tripped and spilled them and he-!

The transfer student-

All eighty-two pencils. Every, single, one.

That new guy? He-

Throughout the day, the rumors flew like excited pixies. With every one, Patton became more and more curious, until finally, as the lunch bell rang, he went in search of the transfer student. He turned a corner, half-jogging through the throng of students.

“Ah, Ettercop, good timing.” Patton spun to face Mr. Barnum in the hall, smiling sunnily to cover his frustration at the interruption.

Oh. OH. Next to his teacher was the most beautiful boy Patton had ever seen in his life. He was tall, dark, and very handsome, with a runner’s build, coppery curls, and lively expression. Patton kept his grin plastered to his face so he didn’t gawp.

“Mr. Prince, this is Patton Ettercop. He should be able to help you find your way to the cafeteria.”

The transfer student smiled at Patton with a hint of uncertainty in his honey-colored eyes.

“Sure, Mr. B! I’d be happy to!” The faerie bounced slightly on the balls of his feet in excitement. He got one on one time with the new guy! “Hi! I’m Patton!”

“Hello, fair friend! My name is Roman, but you may call me the prince of your dreams!” He winked, and Patton laughed.

“Nice t’meetcha, Roman!” Patton looped his arm through Roman’s to guide him to the cafeteria. No other reason.

~~

Virgil did Not Get Along with Roman from the moment he saw him clinging to his brother when they walked into the cafeteria. Nobody but he and Logan were allowed to touch Patton like that. Or their mothers. But definitely not some upstart out-of-towner.

Not even a really good looking one. Who looked at Patton like he hung the moon. Dammit.

Virgil Stewart was nothing if not protective of his brother. What if this stranger found out? Not everyone would be as understanding as Logan had been ten years ago. What if Patton got hurt?

As soon as Patton introduced this ‘Roman Prince’ fellow and sat down, Virgil all but crawled into his lap.

“Whoa! Hey buddy, what’s up?”

“Haven’t seen you.”

“That is illogical, Virgil. We all had a class together an hour ago.” Virgil glared at his boyfriend through his bangs.

“Its fine, Lo! I love cuddles!”

Virgil noted with some satisfaction that Prince looked a little put out that Patton had turned his attention away. Take that.

“Virge, bud, you gotta loosen up a bit. Don’t you want to eat what mom for us?” Patton was trying to unhook their joint lunch bag from his backpack. “I think she even made cookies for you and Logan!”

“… Fine.” Virgil slid off his brother’s lap onto the bench next to him, still pressed as close to his side as possible.

“If you don’t mind my asking, are the two of you together?” Prince sounded subdued, and it was all Virgil could do to keep from smirking in triumph.

Patton turned his gold eyes to Virgil, quirking an eyebrow in question. Virgil grimaced back. The next expression his brother made told Virgil his protestations were a lost cause. Patton turned back to Prince and smiled. “Nope! Virge and I are brothers. Brothers from other mothers!”

Prince perked up a considerable amount, and Virgil saw the beginning of the end.

“Virgil? Virgil? Why are you hitting the table with your head? That will not improve your cognitive abilities, and we have already discussed whether a teacher will send you home over a self-imposed concussion. Virgil. Stop that.”

Lydia and her girlfriend Gwen never admitted to putting a picture of Virgil’s misery as the background to all the computers in the computer lab.

~~

The throne was cold, but most stone was. He knew this was his destiny. His right. He had wanted this since the spider-faerie’s “blessed” spawn was born, and he got it, by hook or crook. No golden-eyed brat would take this away from him. He made sure of that years ago.

Taglist:

@sincerely-a-dork

[atlantisking]

valentine’s day application

Name: EDWARD NIGMA AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT! Age: It’s not polite to ask.  Do you like to cuddle?: Oh yes, take me into those strong arms of yours~ Can we make-out?: If you want. A night in or dinner out?: OUT of course. I need to show off my new suit for the occasion. Ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries?: What makes you a good Valentine?: Would you cook for me?: Absolutely. I am a fantabulous cook.  Would you let me cook for you?: Certainly. 

(IM SO SORRY ABOUT HIM)

   “   Is this...   “

         “   ARE YOU SERIOUS? I’m not an accessory... to crime or otherwise.   “

@riddleculed  |  VALENTINE APPLICATION ( ACCEPTING. )

[christmasace]

Forever & Better. - fan apprentice/julian.

somebODY HELP ME. I CANT STOP WRITING THESE TWO.

anyway, this drabble was once again inspired by the fantabulous writing of  @malaktheraven! please go read their stuff. you wont regret it. trust me.

check out my writing here and my fan apprentice here!

Warm…

She was warm.

Why?

She rolled over suddenly, slowly returning to consciousness. Morning. It was morning, and she’s in bed, that explains why she was warm. Blankets, pillows, and… Julian.

Wait, Julian?!

Her eyes snapped open suddenly, panic flooding her veins as she realized she was snuggled up against him. Why was he here? He should be gone! Nadia’s going to-

… Wait. Wait a second.

Her anxiety subsided when her semi-muddled brain recalled what happened. Julian’s almost hanging. The masquerade. The fiery goat man. … Free. Julian was a free man.

Gloria looked up at his peacefully sleeping face, grin slowly stretching from ear to ear. He was free. No more having to worry about ducking from guards, secret rendezvous, stolen kisses, and gone-before-mornings. She could finally wake up in his arms; she could kiss him good morning.

She snuggled closer to him at this thought, both excited for him to wake up and wanting to stay in his arms for hours. His cuddles were the best, she reasoned, nuzzling his neck.

Warm….

She could feel her drowsiness overtaking her again as she laid in his arms, sighing contentedly. It was completely peaceful…

…. Until she squeaked, feeling his arms tighten around her and smoosh her face closer to his, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Good morning, my love.” He mumbled against her forehead, and she giggled from shock.

“G-good morning Julian?” She laughed again, grin returning at full force. “And here I was, planning to surprise you.”

He grinned back, touching his nose to her forehead. “Were you now?”

“Of course. I’ll get you for that.” She sighed again, scooting closer to him. “How's it feel to be free?”

“Dreadfully boring,” came his flatline answer, “but… it has its perks.”

“Boring is good sometimes,” she mused.

“Yes, but most of the time, it's not,” he grinned, “and you know my penance for trouble. If I cannot find it, I'll make it.”

“Don't do anything too troubling, now.” She laughed again, and he joined in, pressing their foreheads together.

“Freedom is a good thing,” he said, softly, “as long as I can be with you.”

“I don't plan on going anywhere,” she winked, “so we should be set, then.”

“.... I love you.”

“I love you too, Ilya.”

And his lips were on hers in a barrage of kisses, his arms wrapped around her, and she was bringing her hands to rest upon his chest.

“Freedom sounds good,” he said between kisses, “but forever sounds better. Would you like that?”

“I don't think I would mind.”

“Good. Perfect, actually.” After one last, lingering kiss, he whispered, “Stay with me.”

“Always.” She replied back, cuddling up against him. The rest of Vesuviua would have to wait- right now, they were perfectly content with staying close for a while. After all, they had forever.

[secretlystephaniebrown]

To Know This is Real (3/3)

Ahhh! We're at the end! Thanks so much for sticking with me guys, it means a ton!

Special thanks to @a-taller-tale​, who edited this for me, and to every single person who cheered me on this ridiculous endeavor. And additional thanks to the fantabulous @powerfulpomegranate​ and @littlefists​, who provided plenty of encouragement.

ONCE AGAIN: EXPLICIT CONTENT BELOW.

Summary: Kai and Tucker know what they want, and his name is Agent Washington.

Agent Washington knows what he deserves, and it’s certainly not Kaikaiana Grif and Lavernius Tucker.

Or: how three people in a canyon learn to talk about their feelings and maybe end up having lots of sex.

Pairings: Suckington, minor/background Yorkalina.

First Previous Ao3

Tucker woke up with his head on Wash’s arm and his legs tangled up with Kai’s. Wash, sandwiched between them, slept peacefully for once, eyes not even flickering with the signs of his normal nightmares.

It had really happened, Tucker thought, grinning.

Kai, on Wash’s other side, was snuggled right up against him, one arm thrown across Wash’s chest. Wash’s hand was tangled in her hair, as if he’d gone to sleep brushing it out with his fingers. Her breathing was loud, just this side of a snore, and Tucker grinned at the sight of the two of them. He wished he had a camera.

Carefully, Tucker lowered his head back down and closed his eyes. He wasn’t going to be the one to disturb this.

Morning afters were tricky at the best of times.

Tucker wasn’t sure where this one would fall on the scale of mornings after. Kai was great with mornings after, normally. But normally there were a lot less feelings involved. Dragging it out, Tucker suspected, would make Kai a lot more susceptible to awkwardness. Kai might not be able to help making it weird.

And Wash… Tucker slowly raised his hand and placed it on Wash’s bare chest, letting his fingers brush against Kai’s.

Tucker wasn’t sure what Wash was going to think or what he was going to do.

He wanted this, Tucker was sure of that. But he also knew that Wash could talk himself out of this just as easily. Convinced he didn’t deserve it, or that they didn’t feel the same way, or that he’d hurt them. Tucker was confident they could talk him out of it, get him out of his own head, but he was just worried Kai might get hurt in the process.

Tucker wondered to himself how he’d ended up in love with two people with abandonment issues. Honestly. What were the odds?

Wash was the next to wake up. Tucker could feel his heart race beneath his fingertips as Wash realized where he was and who he was with. Tucker opened his eyes.

“Morning,” he said, trying not to betray his fear that Wash was going to freak out.

Wash stared at him, his eyes flickering down to Kai, whose mouth was slightly open.

Then Wash practically melted against the pillows, letting his head turn to stare at Tucker.

“Hey,” Wash said. His fingers clenched slightly in Kai’s hair. She mumbled and nuzzled against Wash’s chest. She was drooling. Tucker didn’t bother to hide his grin.

“How are you feeling?” Tucker asked.

Wash paused. “A little sore,” he admitted. “But…” He leaned forward as much as he could without disturbing Kai, and kissed Tucker.

Tucker grinned, brushing the pads of his fingers over Wash’s face. The kiss was light, innocent, but when he pulled away the expression on Wash’s face was sappy as hell, and Tucker grinned.

The mattress shifted as Kai propped herself up. “Morning sex already?” She muttered, wiping her eyes.

“Breakfast first,” Wash said. There was a laugh in his voice, a lightness that Tucker savored.

“Boring,” Kai muttered, flopping back down onto the bed.

“Hey come on!” Tucker said, offended. “I thought you liked my pancakes!”

Kai lifted her head to stare at him blearily. “Mermph,” she managed to say.

“Okay, okay,” Tucker rolled his eyes and climbed over them to get out of bed. “I’ll make coffee.” Honestly, the fact that Tucker had been able to get words out of Wash was a miracle. He doubted it would last long. The two of them were the worst at mornings.

Once the smell of coffee had begun to fill the air, Wash and Kai finally emerged from the bedroom. Wash, Tucker was delighted to discover in the bright light of day, was covered in hickeys. Kai had that swagger in her step that indicated to Tucker he might have missed some groping. The flush in Wash’s cheeks confirmed that.

Tucker pointed the spatula at Kai. “Not fair!” He told her.

“Relax,” Kai stuck out her tongue as she drank deeply from her mug. “I just got him riled up.”

“You’re the worst girlfriend ever,” Wash muttered, face buried in the coffee cup. From this angle, Tucker could definitely see the way his boxers were tenting. “Of all time.”

Kai positively lit up at the label, and she wrapped her arms around Wash’s waist, hugging him wordlessly. Wash leaned back, accepting the embrace, and there was a slightly loosening in his shoulders.

Tucker gave Wash a thumbs up and mouthed “good job”. Wash flushed slightly, looking down. Tucker grinned. Too easy.

The next few days, Kai decided, were some of the best of her entire life, even if they were mostly sticking with vanilla stuff while they eased Wash into things. Not that Kai didn’t like vanilla stuff, it was definitely fun, especially now that there were two dicks involved, but Kai had ideas, okay, and she was getting tired of Tucker shaking his head at her whenever she started eying the toys.

Whatever. They’d get there.

Caboose and the floating, smaller, version of Church came back from their camping trip after three days, but Caboose was easy to shoo off so they could have sex, or cuddle on the couch, or watch movies. And Caboose dragged Epsilon everywhere.

Tex and Church still weren’t back. Kai tried calling her, because hel-lo she deserved to brag about this to someone other than Tucker and Wash, but Tex was out of range. Which sucked, but Kai guessed that Tex was having fun off on her own.

Kai wondered what robots did for romantic vacations. Maybe she’d ask Delta.

Kai wandered outside, thinking maybe she’d go bug Dex for a bit, maybe get Donut to help her with her nails, because he was way better at fixing up her cuticles than her, and she kind of wanted to see if Wash would let her mark him up, so she’d want her nails in top shape.

She saw a grey figure with weird armor in the distance.

She frowned. “Hey!” She said, stomping up to the person. Kai was glad she was in armor, because whoa, they were ripped. And hot, but in a kind of Tex way. The kind of hot that said they’d have no problem stomping all over Kai to get what they wanted. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Is Washington here?” Hello hot voice.

But Kai’s spine stiffened, because Wash was wanted by the cops, and no one was supposed to know he was here. “Fuck off!” She said.

The person took a step forward, menacingly. Kai found her eyes flickering down to the rifle in her hands. It wasn’t pointed at her, not yet, but it was getting there. “Tell me where he is,” they snarled, and look, Kai found a growl as sexy as the next person, but she suddenly was regretting not bringing her gun, because yeah, total Tex on first meeting vibe here, and she had a lot less good cover and no Church to act as a shouty distraction.

“Kai!” Wash was there, and pushed her back, getting between her and the yelling person, in full armor and armed. Kai felt a rush of relief. Wash was there. It was going to be fine.

Then he halted. “Carolina?” He asked, disbelieving.

Wait.

Kai knew that name.

Where did she know that name from?

“Wash,” this Carolina was saying, the gun lowering. “Good. I’ve been looking for you for a long time.”

“Who the fuck is this?” Tucker was there now too, panting slightly. He must have run all the way from Blue base.

“Tucker,” Wash said, still stiff. He hadn’t relaxed, hadn’t stopped blocking Kai from Carolina’s gaze and weapon. “Go get the Reds.”

Carolina didn’t even glance at Tucker as he began to run.

“How did you find me?” Wash asked. His grip on his weapon hadn’t relaxed.

“It took some time,” Carolina said. “But I found a few anomalies. Traced it to here. Saw that these were the people you took down Freelancer with. Took a gamble. Guess it paid off.”

There was a clipped, professional quality to her tone that Kai kind of liked, but it also made her nervous. Because what did she want with Wash?

Kai tugged Wash back slightly. “Who is she?” She demanded, making her voice loud and screechy on purpose. “Is she a cop?” She tightened her grip on Wash’s arm. “Cuz like, he’s not one of you anymore! You can’t have him back!”

Kai knew that if Wash dared to take his hand off his rifle, he’d be gripping her hand, trying to get her to stop. But he didn’t fight her as she backed up, increasing the distance between them and Carolina.

“What do you want, Carolina?” Wash demanded.

Carolina. That was a state, Kai realized. This was a Freelancer.

Kai tried to message Tex again, but she was still too far away.

Oh.

Wash had sent Tucker to Red Base.

They had another Freelancer on the way.

Kai gripped Wash’s arm slightly, hoping that York was going to be able to help with this.

Suddenly, the sound of a shotgun went off, and Carolina spun on her heel, moving way too fast, dodging.

“Damn it,” Wash muttered, as York began to fight.

“What’s happening?” Kai asked Wash.

“York doesn’t realize who she is,” Wash said with a sigh.

“So why is he fighting her?”

“... he thinks she stole her armor.” He paused for a second. “And she thinks he stole his.”

“Oooh, right. He’s supposed to be dead,” Kai nodded.

She watched, fascinated, at the way the two of them moved. She’d never seen York really fight anyone, not like she’d seen Tex or Wash fight. York was good, Kai was surprised to see.

But Carolina was better, pinning him to the ground, and it didn’t look like she had sexy intentions either.

“How dare you!” Carolina yelled, ripping off York’s helmet, then froze. “York?”

York took advantage of her surprise, turning the tables and pinning Carolina right back. “I show you mine…” His voice had that edge to it, that “I’m really upset but don’t want people to know” thing he did sometimes. Kai leaned forward, trying to see better. Wash held her back.

Carolina’s helmet came off, and Kai grinned. She’d totally been right. Super-hot.

York stared for a moment.

And then the two of them began to roll on the grass, making out.

“Oh!” Kai said. “She’s the girlfriend?” Carolina had ended up on top, which York seemed to have absolutely no problem with. Kai revised her earlier thoughts about Carolina not having sexy intentions.

Wash sighed. “She was our leader, back at Freelancer.”

“I can tell!” Tucker was on Kai’s other side now. “I bet she bossed him around a lot! Bow-chicka-bow-wow.”

Wash closed his eyes. “This,” he said. “Might take a while.”

Carolina’s presence in Valhalla made Wash restless. She was staying with the Reds, and for that, Wash was grateful, but she was there. She was alive, and she was at Valhalla, and she wanted to hunt the Director…

And she wanted them to come with her.

At night, Wash had bad dreams. Dreams of Tucker and Kai on the Mother of Invention, right in the line of fire. Dreams of the Counselor and his smooth, placid voice, asking him questions about them. Dreams about a ranch house in Texas, with a little girl running around in the front yard, a house he’d never been to, but that he knew like he knew his own scars.

He’d do anything to keep them away from the Director.

But he looked at them the minute Carolina asked for their help, and he knew they weren’t going to let him do this alone.

Wash counted down the days until Tex comes back. When Tex was back, they could leave. Maybe this itch wouldn’t be so bad, once they left, once they started moving. Maybe when the ghost of Freelancer was exorcised from Valhalla it could be calm again. Maybe Wash could get that precious, delicate feeling of belonging, of safety, of home, back.

It’s not that he wanted Carolina gone—far from it. But the mission was like poison on the air, destroying the lighthearted nature of the peace that had been before.

Wash had known it wouldn’t last.

But he wished, desperately, that it could have lasted just a while longer.

Tex returned, and Wash breathed out. Tex was oddly stabilizing, oddly reassuring. Carolina had the same effect. When they were there, Wash knew that things would get done.

Well.

Unless they killed each other first, he amended mentally, watching the way Carolina stood too still, too tightly wound to relax in Tex’s presence.

They’d been packing for a while now, preparing for Tex and Church’s return, but there were still things to do before leaving.

Tex walked up to Wash, a bag slung over her shoulder. She tilted her helmet to one side, and Wash could feel her smirk. “Oh, it finally happened, didn’t it?”

Wash didn’t look at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Of course you didn’t.” Tex reached out and yanked the collar of his undersuit down slightly, exposing the fresh bruise that Tucker had left last night. She whistled. “They’ve been having fun.”

Wash batted her hands away, glaring. “You knew?” He asked, offended.

Tex patted his arm without an ounce of sympathy. “Yes. Now, I need to go collect. York owes me a twenty.”

“You bet on this?” Wash said, feeling like he should be offended.

“Yep,” Tex said, smug.

“You two are the worst,” Wash muttered.

“Sure are,” Tex said, walking away from him, striding purposefully towards York. Carolina, in the distance, threw a bag into the Warthog with more force than necessary.

Wash paused, and realized that yes, Carolina would have missed all of Tex and York’s Calvin & Hobbes shtick.

He sighed again, and went to go get Caboose and Epsilon.

There were bigger things to do than to deal with that particular mess. They were all adults. Surely they could get things sorted on their own.

Leaving Valhalla was not fun. Tucker hadn’t quite realized how much he’d grown to like that place until he was leaving. It wasn’t like Blood Gulch at least. The most important part was coming with him.

He messaged Junior again, letting him know everything was fine, and then got into the driver’s seat. He was on first shift for their warthog, Wash and Kai in the back seat, with Church beside him, and Caboose on the gun. Tucker was vaguely aware that this might be what would be considered a “grave mistake” by many people, but Caboose wanted to keep an eye on Epsilon, whose travel arrangements were currently “attached to a tether tied to back of Carolina’s mongoose”. It was pretty fucking hilarious, Tucker had to admit.

Tex also had a mongoose, which she was currently sharing with Donut. Tucker kept glancing at Church, trying to see how his best friend was taking this, but Church was staring straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge anything.

Admittedly, Church had been more or less like that since Carolina had returned.

Tucker wondered if he was supposed to talk to him about it or something, but he had no idea really. Church was hard to talk to at the best of times about emotional shit, and this was…

Well.

To be honest, Tucker had no idea what to do about any of the Carolina situation. Not her and Wash, her and Tex, her and Church, and not even her and York, not that Tucker particularly cared about that part, because whatever. That was clearly the kind of dramatic mess that had made Tucker determined to avoid relationships for most of his… well okay, pretty much until Kai and Wash.

His point stood though.

That was a mess, and Tucker wasn’t going near that shit with a ten foot pole.

He glanced at York, who was clearly gossiping with Tex over the radio again.

Tucker mentally re-measured the pole. Twenty sounded safer. Maybe thirty.

“Freelancers,” he complained out loud. “Why are you guys so fucking dramatic?”

“Excellent question,” Wash muttered, arms crossed and looking tense, despite Kai’s foot in his lap.

Church groaned, cradling his head in his hands again. “This fucking headache won’t stop,” he complained. “It’s bullshit!”

“If you’ll just process the information,” Wash said snippily. “It should stop!”

“You said Carolina died!” Church snapped. “What more is there to process?”

Tucker kept his eyes on the road.

“You need to process who she is! When you were dead you could hold the information at bay, but now you need to process it. You’re too close to Epsilon to maintain that kind of memory blank for long,” Wash said. “You know he projects!”

“I can manage it,” Church said, through gritted teeth.

“Why don’t you want to know who she is?” Tucker couldn’t help asking.

“Because!” Church snapped. “I’m not him. It’s not who she is to me, it’s who she is to him, and I don’t want that! I don’t… I’m not him!”

“So you hurt yourself?” Kai asked. “That seems dumb.”

Church whipped around to glare at her. “Shut the fuck up,” he seethed. “You don’t know anything.”

“What,” Kai challenged. “Is knowing who she is gonna change who you are?”

There was a long, painful silence.

“Maybe,” Church said, almost too quiet to hear.

The next leg of the trip was spent in silence.

Their breaks weren’t as frequent as Kai might have liked, but Wash and Tex managed to convince Carolina they should stop for the night.

Something was up with Epsilon, but Kai wasn’t exactly sure what. He was spending a lot of time with Carolina.

“I don’t know,” York said, shaking his head as he sat on the back of the warthog. He was fiddling with his cigarettes, but he hadn’t started smoking yet. “I’m sure it’ll sort itself out soon.”

Tex shrugged. “Epsilon’s always been a weird one, even for the fragments. No offense, Dee,” she added.

“None taken, Agent Texas,” Delta said.

Kai sat on the ground, staring up at the stars. “It’s weird that the constellations are different here,” she complained.

“That’s what happens when you go to space,” York said, sounding amused.

Kai stuck her tongue out at him. “I know that.”

He snorted slightly, and offered her the cigarettes. She waved him off. She wasn’t in the mood. Wash might be grumpy if she came to bed smelling of smoke. It was her turn in the middle too. She wasn’t about to get him riled up, not when there wasn’t much chance he’d let her and Tucker wind him down afterwards. Kai wondered if this was a sign that their relationship was getting boring. They’d only been dating for about two weeks now, surely they hadn’t broken the honeymoon stage yet.

Tex sat down next to Kai. “Move over,” Tex said. Kai obliged, so they were sitting back to back.

“Church thinks he’ll lose himself,” Kai said, leaning her head back against Tex’s shoulder.

“I know,” Tex said. “I’ve tried to tell him, but he won’t listen.”

“Can’t we just tell him that unless he starts picking up a southern accent, there’s nothing to worry about?” York said.

Tex threw something at him, knocking him off the back of the warthog. “Too close?” He said, appropriately contrite.

“Very,” Tex’s voice was ice.

“Sorry,” York sighed. He leaned against the wheel, not bothering to climb back up. “I just want this to be over.”

“Me too,” Kai said.

Tex was quiet.

“Tex?” Kai said, quietly. “You never said. What did he do to you?”

Tex froze against Kai.

“He hurt Church,” Tex said, but there was something off in her voice.

“Yeah, and he fucked with Wash and left Carolina for dead and screwed over everyone, but what did he do to you?”

“Kai,” York said, and Kai could hear the warning in his voice, but Kai pushed on.

“So?” She asked, regretting their position for a moment, because she wanted to be looking at Tex directly for this.

Tex let out a sigh. “He tried to change who I was,” Tex said. “I wasn’t who he wanted me to be.”

“That’s stupid,” Kai said. “You’re fucking awesome. Why would anyone try to change that?”

Tex let out a laugh, harsher than normal, but Kai savored it anyways, feeling Tex’s shoulders relax against Kai’s.

She felt York nudge her with his foot, an unstated thanks.

Kai grinned at him, and started speculating out loud about alien constellations.

Apparently, Kai and Tucker had noticed how on edge Wash had been for the past few days.

“You need to just relax,” Tucker said. “I know there’s a lot of bullshit happening but…” he trailed off.

Wash looked away. “It’s… complicated,” he said, knowing how inadequate the words sounded.

Kai and Tucker looked at each other. “Can we help you relax?” Kai said, starting to grin. Wash knew that grin. That grin meant trouble.

“We’re not having sex in the middle of the wilderness, ten feet away from the others,” Wash said, feeling his cheeks heat up.

“Alright,” Tucker said.

Then he grabbed Wash’s hand and started pulling him further away from the main camp.

“That is not what I meant!” Wash said.

“We won’t have sex if you don’t want to,” Kai said, shaking her head at him as she followed, grabbing Wash’s other hand as she went.

“But if Kai and I have sex and you watch…” Tucker’s eyebrows wiggled and Wash’s blush spread further.

“That’s… that’s not…”

Kai hummed thoughtfully. “What, want us to tie you up first?”

Wash let out a squeak.

“Ooh, noted for later,” Tucker said.

“I can’t believe you two,” Wash muttered.

“What?” Kai said, far too innocent to be believed. “We don’t have rope. Can’t actually do it.”

“You want to tie me up so I can watch you two have sex?” Wash squeaked, as Tucker finally came to a stop.

“You did like to watch,” Tucker said, before tugging off the undersuit he was wearing.

“You two are serious,” Wash muttered. “You’re actually going to…”

Kai laughed. “Well, you can join us if you want.”

Wash muttered an answer that even he didn’t understand, before pulling Kai in for a kiss.

“That’s a yes?” Tucker asked, already tugging at Wash’s zipper.

“Yes,” Wash growled, twisting around, sinking his teeth into Tucker’s neck. Tucker moaned, still struggling to remove Wash’s armor.

“Hmm,” Kai said, grabbing Wash’s ass, making Wash jump slightly.

“What are you thinking?” Wash managed to ask, knowing that tone very well.

Kai’s grin was bright as she raised something into Wash’s view.

“Is that my sleeping mask?” Wash demanded.

“No,” Kai said, snapping the elastic around his neck so it hung like a necklace. “It’s a blindfold.”

Wash stared at her.

“Ooh,” Tucker said, starting to adjust it, dragging it up his head again, messing up Wash’s hair as he went. “Sounds like fun. Wash?”

Wash considered. “Let’s try it,” he said.

“Don’t worry,” Kai promised, kissing his jaw briefly before picking up the mask part. “We’ll be talking the whole time.”

The last thing Wash saw before they fitted the blindfold on was Kai and Tucker’s smirks.

Tucker tangled his fingers through Wash’s, his breath hot on Wash’s ear. “Easy,” Tucker muttered. “God this is hot, don’t know why we didn’t do this sooner. You look great with a blindfold.”

Wash let out a whine, unable to stop himself as Kai latched onto his neck and began to suck. The sound turned into a gasp as she bit down, her teeth grazing his skin.

“Shh,” Tucker tilted his chin back to kiss. “Just let us take care of you.”

Wash was grateful for Tucker’s solidness as he leaned back, practically melting against him as Kai slowly began to kiss her way down his body. She licked a stripe along his collarbone, and Wash whined again.

“Kai, please,” Wash said.

“Gorgeous,” Kai said, and Wash gasped as her teeth grazed one of his scars.

Wash felt his cock jump, and Kai laughed, licking his abs before he heard the sound of her knees hitting the ground.

Wash waited for the teasing, for her to kiss around his dick, marking him up, tormenting him, making him beg.

What he didn’t expect was for Kai to suck the tip of his dick right into her mouth, her fingers digging into his thighs. Wash tried to cry out, but Tucker kissed him again, swallowing the sounds, nipping at his bottom lip, encouraging him to open his mouth to Tucker.

Wash was melting, coming undone. He tried to move his hands towards Kai as she moved her lips up and down his cock, humming as she went, but Tucker held him firmly in place, and Wash realized that they’ve managed to find a substitute for rope after all.

Wash gasped as Kai gently scraped her teeth down the length of his dick as she came up for air, laughing breathlessly as she kissed the inside of Wash’s thigh. “Betcha I can deep throat him,” Kai panted.

“You’re on,” Tucker said, and Wash could his chest move as he talked, pressed against Wash’s back as he was. He could feel Tucker’s erection pressing against his leg, but Tucker hadn’t moved to do anything about it.

“What does she—Kai, fuck—win?” Wash managed to ask, even as Kai began to lick a stripe up the side of his dick.

“I get to fuck him,” Kai said cheerfully. He could hear the smirk in her voice. “If you’re good, you can watch.”

“He’s always good,” Tucker said, gently kissing Wash’s ear. “He’s looking after us. Now it’s our turn.”

Wash gripped Tucker’s hands as tightly as he could as Kai swirled her tongue over the head of his cock before swallowing him down fully.

“Fuck,” Wash cried, his hips jerking forward without thinking. Kai moved back slightly, breathing hard, but then moved back down, slowly, agonizingly slowly, using her teeth and her tongue and…

Wash shuddered and gasped, and Kai pulled back, coughing slightly. “Did it,” she said, smug.

Tucker laughed. “What do you think? Has Wash been good enough to watch?”

Wash squirmed as he could feel Kai’s panting mouth approach him again. “I think he should beg,” Kai said. “Want to see it, Wash?”

Wash whined, thrusting forwards, towards Kai’s mouth. The image his brain was providing was vivid, enhanced by the time that he’d walked in on Kai wearing her belt, and the intimate knowledge of how Tucker looked while being fucked.

“Please,” he muttered, hips rocking again. Kai took him into her mouth again, and Wash could feel himself getting close. “Kai, please, I want…”

“Go on then,” Tucker muttered in his ear, breath hot, Tucker’s erection pressing against his leg. “Come.”

Wash felt Kai hum in assent, and Wash wasn’t sure if it was that or Tucker’s telling him it was okay that pushed him over the edge, hips rocking forward as he came in Kai’s mouth.

When he was done, she pulled away, and he heard a spitting noise. “Gross,” Kai complained.

Wash flushed, as Tucker tugged down his blindfold so he could see. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“I don’t mind,” Kai said, patting him on the thigh, still on her knees in front of him. “I just don’t like swallowing. You want Tucker for that.”

Tucker grinned and laughed. “So? He earn it?” Wash could still feel Tucker’s erection, untouched, against his back.

Wash flushed, because he hadn’t done anything.

Kai hummed thoughtfully, getting to her feet. “Well,” she said. “He did ask. But he didn’t specify what he was asking for.”

Wash opened his mouth to protest.

“So I think he gets to be tied up,” Kai concluded, grinning wickedly. “No touching.”

Wash flushed at the thought of that, and he suspected that if he hadn’t just came, he’d be hard again. “Later?” It wasn’t meant to be a question, but his voice rose without his assent.

“Later,” Kai said. “I need to get rope.” Her grin was filthy.

Wash kissed her, unable to believe, sometimes, that this was real. That this was his life. “Thanks,” he said, softly. “I…” He glanced down. “If you want…?”

Kai pressed a finger against his lips. “Nah,” she said. “You can pay me back later.” She paused.

“I’m not fingering you in the back of the Warthog,” Wash said, flushing.

“We’ll talk about it,” Kai said, confidently.

“Kai!”

She just grinned at him and started hunting for her helmet.

When they got back, Epsilon had apparently abandoned his sphere for Carolina’s armor, and everything was a disaster.

And by “everything”, Tucker meant “Caboose”.

“You need to talk to him,” Tucker said to Church.

“It’s not my fucking fault that Epsilon decided he wanted to live in Carolina’s fucking head!” Church protested. “Let him deal with this!”

“Dude. The guy’s obsessed with revenge right now. I’m not sure if Caboose’s feelings are on his radar.”

“What, and they’re on mine?”

Tucker scowled. “Whatever dude. If you’re just going to be a dick about it, I’ll go get Wash and go look for Caboose. And listen to him cry about his best friend for hours.”

Church stiffened. “It’s not my fault!”

“Yeah,” Tucker said. “But you have been avoiding him since Epsilon.”

“I wasn’t avoiding him!” Church protested.

“Do you really think Caboose has figured that out? Dude, you yell about how much you hate Caboose half the time. He might take it personally.”

“Look, he fucking replaced me,” Church snapped. “And the guy he replaced me with gives me headaches!”

Tucker straightened slightly. “Still? I thought you’d fucking processed that shit.”

Church waved his concerns away. “Not that kind of headache dude. He’s just so fucking full of himself.”

“You realize…”

“Shut up, Tucker.”

Tucker couldn’t help but grin slightly at that. “C’mon dude. Cut Caboose some slack. Epsilon liked spending time with him a lot more than you ever did. Can’t blame him for taking advantage.”

Church didn’t say anything, just kicked the dirt.

“Would it even help?”

“I don’t know, Church. Let’s see.”

Caboose wasn’t hard to find. They just had to follow the sounds of Caboose muttering.

“Anguish. Despair. Abandoned. Loneliness,” Caboose muttered, weaving his way through the trees.

“Caboose?” Church said, awkward. He glanced at Tucker, who rolled his eyes and nodded encouragingly. “

“Oh!” Caboose brightened. “Church!”

“I… I heard about Epsilon,” Church shifted. “I’m… sorry Caboose. I… I feel… kind of… bad… that I haven’t been spending…” Tucker kicked him encouragingly. “Ouch!”

“Spending much ouch. That is a new kind of currency. What is the exchange rate?” Caboose said, deadpan enough that Tucker almost suspected Caboose was making a joke.

“No, Caboose! I’m… look, I’m sorry I’m an asshole. Epsilon really freaks me out. And I’m sorry he’s off with Carolina right now. But I’m… willing to talk?” Church sounded like the last part actually pained him.

Caboose let out the most delighted sound Tucker had ever heard, and lunged forward, scooping Church up in his arms.

“Church!”

Tucker took that as his exit queue, and quietly slipped away, leaving the two of them to it.

“Caboose! Put me down! Seriously!”

“I’ve missed you too!”

“That is not remotely what I said! Are you even listening?”

Tucker grinned, and stepped back into the campground. Good deed of the day, accomplished. Now he could send Wash naked pictures while he was on watch all night.

Nights were slow, on the move. It was frustrating for the Freelancers, Kai knew. They all wanted to be moving constantly, but they’d eventually come to understand that the rest of them needed to rest.

Tucker was busy talking with Dex about something—probably trying to set up a screening of Reservoir Dogs.

Which left Kai and Wash alone, sitting in the Warthog.

“I’m bored,” Kai grumbled.

Wash sighed, exasperated. “Why don’t you do something about it then?”

That was all the invitation she needed. Grinning, Kai moved across the center dash, onto Wash’s lap.

“Kai,” Wash said, warningly. She rolled her eyes. He’d only emphasized the “no sex too close to the others” thing about a million times. She got it. It was on the no list.

“PG, got it,” Kai said, before lowering her mouth to his.

Wash leaned back, resting his head against the seat back, his hands moving around her waist, trying to pull her closer to him. Kai poked his lips with her tongue, and Wash opened his mouth instantly, eager to deepen the kiss.

He loved this, Kai could tell. This kind of open affection, completely separate from sex. He ate it up, moaning into her mouth. Kai grinned, enjoying it as she managed to start to pull him apart without needing to do anything more than this. She’d probably have him regretting his own rule pretty soon, although she knew he wouldn’t break it.

There was a loud crash, and Kai pulled away from Wash for a second—he whined slightly, which Kai had to savor—to see Carolina staring at them, wide-eyed. A bag full of weapons lay at her feet, overflowing with what looked like ammo.

“I, uh,” Carolina was flushing, Kai could tell. “I’ll come back later?”

“Boss!” Wash’s hands tightened around Kai’s hips, unwilling to push her away, but clearly embarrassed. Or… no that wasn’t it. Kai couldn’t put her finger on it. He didn’t care that Carolina knew, but he didn’t want to be caught with his pants down. Metaphorically.

Kai wondered, idly, if she could get his pants down tonight after all, as she shifted in his lap. Well. His armor. It could be fun.

Presuming Carolina didn’t ruin the mood.

Kai sighed, and slipped off Wash’s lap. Clearly sensing her being upset about it, he reached over and took her hand.

“I… I hadn’t realized you were seeing someone,” Carolina said, awkwardly glancing at Kai.

“Two someones,” Kai said, sticking her tongue out at Carolina, even as she tried to evaluate if she should be offended. “Me and Tucker.”

Carolina looked back at Wash, and there was a hint of a smile on her face. “Seriously?”

Kai grinned, while Wash started to protest Carolina being surprised.

“I’m… happy for you,” Carolina said, and oh! Kai got it now. Carolina was awkward, just like Tex. Well, different than Tex. Because Tex probably would have thrown ice water over them, not said she was happy for them. But the meaning would have been the same, Kai knew.

“It won’t distract me from the mission,” Wash said. Kai squeezed his hand tightly. They wouldn’t distract him. This was important to him. Maybe, if the asshole was dead, Wash could stop having nightmares about him. Kai would like that.

Carolina nodded. “I’ll… right.” She turned away. Kai thought she spotted a flicker of blue, like Epsilon, over her shoulder for a moment.

Kai watched her go, trying to decide if the mood was right to pick back up where they left off, when Wash slid onto her lap and began to kiss her neck, her mouth, her jaw, every part of her he could reach.

“Woods?” Wash muttered, voice deliciously low and dark. “I do owe you one.”

Kai beamed. “Yes,” she said, throwing open the door to the warthog and scrambling out, pulling Wash with her.

They were close.

So close, Wash could almost taste it.

Carolina had implanted Epsilon, and Wash had been doing his absolute best to not think about it. It had been hard enough, knowing Epsilon was floating around the base back at Valhalla, hard enough knowing he was the next room over most of the time.

But now he was in Carolina’s head, and all Wash wanted to do was rip him right out and throw him off a cliff.

He hadn’t said anything to her about it though.

Maybe it was that he knew she wouldn’t listen, maybe it was Epsilon’s presence alone that stopped him. They hadn’t… they hadn’t talked about it, not really.

Wash wasn’t sure he wanted to.

Epsilon was messy and complicated and painful, and Wash didn’t know what to do any more.

Everything was spiraling out of control.

Except Kai and Tucker.

Tucker groaned, propping himself up on his elbows. “Wash,” he said, voice heavy with sleep. “Stop thinking and go to sleep.”

“You’re thinking too loud,” Kai muttered, her arms wrapped around Tucker’s waist.

“I… sorry,” Wash said.

Tucker seemed more awake, suddenly. He reached out, pressing his hand against Wash’s cheek. “Everything okay?”

Wash floundered for an answer. “I don’t know,” he finally said.

Kai sat up. “Director thing, Carolina thing, or Epsilon thing?” She asked, direct and to the point, like normal.

“Epsilon,” Wash admitted. “I…”

“Is this the thing you have nightmares about?” Tucker asked. “I mean, you’ve never really said. Just that Epsilon was your AI. I know Church knows, but…”

Wash blinked, mind reeling. “I… I thought you knew,” he said.

No one had told them. Not Tex, not York, not Church, not Epsilon. They’d all kept quiet. Wash wasn’t sure if he was furious at them or grateful, for putting this in his hands, for making him be the one to find the words, to have to try to explain.

How could he describe it? How much was too much, how little was too little? Were they mad at him for not telling them? How long had they been waiting for him to open up, to trust them?

Wash bit his lip.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Kai said. “If you don’t want to. But we’ll listen. If you want.”

“It can wait,” Tucker said, sensible. “If you want. It doesn’t have to be now.”

Wash closed his eyes, and remembered Allison’s face.

They might not survive tomorrow. Wash knew this, although he knew it wouldn’t have occurred to them. The Director would have known they were coming. He’d be prepared.

“No, it’s… it’s fine,” Wash said. He swallowed, and began to tell the story of a boy named Cecil Kyle.

Tucker really wished they’d brought Sheila right about now.

Tex and Carolina were doing their work well, don’t get him wrong, but there were so many of these… things.

It was… wrong. They spoke, sometimes, but it was awful, sounding more like O’Malley than Tex, although a few of them did sound right, and those ones were even worse.

Their movements were like Tex’s, but jerky, disjointed, out of sync. Dangerous, sure, but nothing like the real thing.

Tucker glanced at Tex, trying to judge how she was handling all of this. He couldn’t get a read at all, and that was almost more worrying.

Tucker was fighting back to back with Wash sometimes, Kai others, but things were moving so quickly that it was hard to stay near either of them. He swung his sword, taking out any that got too close, while the others fought ones further away.

Epsilon made them all collapse, but it was only a reprieve and they all knew it. Tucker thought he might understand Church’s self-hatred issues.

Church and Epsilon went with Carolina and Tex to finish this.

Tucker grabbed Wash’s wrist. “You okay?” He asked.

Wash nodded. “You two?”

Kai gripped Tucker’s shoulder tightly. “Fine,” she said.

They moved to circle in with the others, and the fight began again.

After a long time, they came back. “It’s over,” Tex said, simply. She sounded tired. Really, really tired. Tucker looked away, checking on Kai and Wash.

“Who needs the healing unit?” York asked, leaning against Sarge, breathing heavily.

“York?” Carolina asked, alarmed.

“I’m fine,” York said. “Couple of broken ribs. Nothing to worry about.”

Carolina hesitated, as if wanting to approach him, but unsure if she should. Tucker had long since given up trying to understand those two. He never wanted to go back to the “will they or won’t they” phase that those two were stuck in right now.

“Kiss him already!” Donut said. “Red Team can’t take another ten years of pining!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Simmons demanded.

Carolina seemed to have taken Donut’s encouragement to heart though, because she yanked him away from Sarge and…

Oh.

Well, a hug worked too.

Tucker shrugged, and turned around, yanking off his own helmet.

Kai was already ahead of him, and grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him into a kiss.

“No one needs to see that, Tucker!” Church yelled.

“Fuck off, Church,” Wash said, and wow, Tucker could pick them, Tucker decided, spinning around to kiss Wash next.

Dating two people at once did make post-battle makeouts a bit more difficult, Tucker had to admit, even as he let go of Wash so that Kai could dip him.

But totally worth it.

“So where to now?” Kai said, holding Tucker and Wash’s hand as they stared up at the Hand of Merope.

“Home,” Wash said, squeezing her hand.

“We’re big damn heroes now,” Tucker said. “Sheila’s going to be proud of us.”

“Hell yeah she is,” Kai said, grinning.

Kai started to pull them forward.

It didn’t matter where they were going, Kai decided.

Because wherever they were going, they’d be together.

And really, she thought, grinning at her brother, who was arguing with Simmons, at Tex, who was making fun of York, and at Church, who was desperately trying to ignore Caboose, what else mattered?

[versatilepoetry]

My Daughter's Fascinating Pillow.

She hugged it tight to her adorably tiny chest - as fierce thunderstorms and lightening announced the onset of the profoundly vivacious monsoon, She carried it like the most invincibly cherished of her toys - fantastically bemused by its spongy texture and compassionate friendship - kissing its rotund periphery with her nimble lips, She unabashedly chided it for being transiently lost - as she found it after an excruciating search from amongst her plethora of toys of multitudinal shapes and fraternities - immediately hiding it in her cup-board - so that none could inadvertently venture it out again, She cuddled close to it like it was the best of her friends - joyously assimilating her daily dose of several varied colorful cartoon characters and films - alongwith her favorite platter of wondrously tantalizing snacks; ofcourse, She uninhibitedly tossed it high up in the air and then darted at electric speeds to catch it safely in her impeccably dainty arms; at times also allowing it have a free fall and then burst into laughter as it timidly bounced, She used it as one of her most creative hotspot's - scribbling and embodying its surface with every conceivable graffiti that her innocuous brain could conceive - letting her ingenious kid fingers vividly sketch upon it with color; paint; gratitude and inimitable charm, She sporadically involved it in her impetuously playful fights - hurling it an incongruous left; right and center to differentiate her own little toy territory in her room from the rest; eventually collapsing on the floor in sheer and exuberant exhaustion, She proudly brandished it criss-crossed in open space - as if she was a fearless soldier marching towards the corridors of victory - her very own fantasy triumph which was amiably frolicking with her parents and savoring her reinvigorating dollops of lime candy ice - cream; towards the end of the blissful day, She mischievously patted it with all her minuscule might - to tease her pet dog as he patiently knelt on his hind legs as a mark of distinguished respect to her - and then she caressed him on his convivial ears and merrily gallivanted of to play with him on the open terrace, She nonchalantly kicked it to express her frustration as the electricity went out - more so; since she knew that neither would it experience even the most insouciant of pain - nor would she harm herself in anyway, She used it as her most unfettered and darling punching bag - childishly pummeling those prized fists of hers into royal cotton fabric - as she relished her earthly freedom to its natural and unfettered best, She intermittently took it alongwith her in the car - as she leaned her full weight upon it to perch like a princess and fantasize goodness - as the vehicle majestically sped through the wilderness of the intrepid streets; interspersed with motley traffic, She made it the most fantabulously decorated roof of her playhouse - with the walls made of rustic straw, stick, lace, plastic, cap, paper and whatever worthily intriguing object that she could lay her hands upon - as she entered her thrilling abode with her impeccably loved friend, She sank deep within its cozily empowering recesses when tired after the evening's play - and then beautifully shrugged herself to complete her school work with utmost sincerity - greet the new tomorrow with philanthropy and astounding creativity, She deliberately plucked at its stitching and ripped apart its cover to threadbare junk - to roll upon it; in its gloriously bohemian baldness - and then beautify it with a richly embroidered cloth of her very own stellar choice, She narrated her different stories about her experience with it with mortally unmatched aplomb - which could almost be published as a book by some of the best publishers in the world; as she happily jostled on the tree on the absolute edge of the magnificently plush lawn, She languished in its unparalleled serenity in her moments of silence - then came up with some of the most comic anecdotes of her trysts with existence - spontaneously rushing to hug those cherished to her as she felt earnestly versatile, I, her father, simply adored her benevolent feelings towards it, But she, my cute daughter, truly loved her fascinating Pillow.