#cryptozoologist cloud

[ninesonline-main]

T.A. Aureolin lives rent free in my head. Just a silly gal who is also a murder suspect sometimes

[berrypass-de-murdler]

Scenes from LilyTheLitten's "Cryptozoologist Cloud's Guide to Figuring Out if Your Employer is a Vampire"

I have never drawn irratino with wet hair before actually

Bonus scene of him hugging his doggo

BAWRLF!!!

It's really nice to see a comedy fic for once, I feel like 90% of murdle fics are ship and angst :'3

Read it here!

[lilythelitten]

Investigation Institute Headcanons

Because these guys are my blorbos and take up a lot of space in my head.

The order of them joining the Institute goes: Night, Umber, Onyx and Azure (joined at the same time), Flint, Raven, Cloud, Seashell. Seashell is notable because while everyone else was a member before canon kicked off, Seashell only joined after Volume 1.

Irratino, Night, and Umber were roommates in college, as were Onyx and Azure. Cloud was there too but was a bit shy and didn’t really talk to anyone, Raven and Flint didn’t go to Deduction College, and Seashell went to a different school in the same area.

None of them really got along with Logico back in Volume 1. This, admittedly, is mostly Logico’s fault, on account of being kind of a jerk back then. He made his disdain for their practices very clear; they, in turn, wondered what the hell Irratino saw in him. Even after Volume 1, Logico isn’t much more than polite acquaintances with the Institute.

I envision everyone in the Institute at around the same age, so early thirties. (If you’re wondering about Cloud and Seashell—Cloud suffers a fair amount of health issues and their hair turned white from stress, Seashell just had the extreme misfortune to go gray early :P)

Whenever one of them gets arrested (usually for murder), Irratino pays their bail money. He has to do this a lot, and is very tired and would like his employees to please behave themselves for five minutes. (Yes I know this isn’t how bail works but shhh)

In spite of how cuckoo all of them can be, the Institute care a lot for and look out for each other; they are each other’s closest friends. Mess with one of them, you mess with all of them. (And considering all of them have killed at least one person, this is a very bad position to be in :P)

Now for some character-specific HCs! Night, as the second person to join the Institute, is basically Irratino’s number two. In practice, this means taking care of most of the Institute’s accounting (Irratino has no hope of understanding math and everyone else is only slightly better), handling day-to-day operations when Irratino’s out for whatever reason, and making sure Irratino can keep to set schedules and doesn’t misplace or forget things (he’s not stupid, but man’s fairly scatterbrained and would probably lose his own head if it wasn’t attached to his shoulders). Since he and Irratino started dating, Logico has largely taken up that last role; Night is less than thrilled about this.

Cloud has a pet snake. Flint has a severe phobia of snakes. This caused some chaos when Cloud went in for their interview, brought their snake with them, and it proceeded to get loose.

Back in college, Umber dyed her hair, changing colors fairly frequently (blue, green, purple, pink, orange, red, that kind of thing). She hasn’t dyed her hair in years, but still has some leftover hair dye.

Onyx and Azure bonded over their shared love of outdoorsy things back in college, and are best friends to this day. This despite their totally opposite personalities.

As an alchemist, Raven often experiments with volatile substances. This has led to more than one explosion and is the primary cause of holes in the chateau that Irratino then has to pay to fix.

Speaking of, it’s been said Raven has two personalities. The first is her outside-the-lab persona, which is fairly normal, levelheaded, and friendly. The second is her inside-the-lab persona, which trades that out for a cackling mad science throw-everything-into-a-blender-and-see-what-sticks shtick. If you are unfamiliar with her, this can be mildly disorienting at first.

The Institute members, being a bunch of nerds, have no muscle mass to speak of. Despite this, and despite being fairly small, Umber and Flint are surprisingly strong. Whenever something heavy needs to be carried, the gang usually goes to them.

Seashell was born and grew up in New Aegis, and knows the area fairly well.

Flint is multilingual, having learned several languages growing up, and can read and speak them all fluently. He’s also fond of using big words, which comes as a surprise to some people given his fairly laid-back way of talking.

The School of Mystery mentions that, in college, Seashell visited Irratino’s house every week to argue with him. In Lily parlance, where Seashell’s a bit unhinged even compared to the other suspects, this translates to Seashell breaking into Irratino’s house every week to debate with him. Seashell found Irratino fascinating. Irratino did not return the sentiment.

On that note (and I had this realization a few days ago and was like “…wait that explains a lot”), Seashell, ah…might actually have something of a crush on Irratino? He finds him an endlessly fascinating individual, and when New Aegis didn’t let him perform dental work anymore (this is what happens when you kill someone :P), he went to the Investigation Institute to get a job there, on account of Irratino already keeping several murderers on staff (Irratino was forced to concede that point, as much as he did not want to). As for the fact that Irratino already has a boyfriend? General consensus is that, much like how Seashell does not realize Irratino is less than fond of him, he does not realize Irratino is in a relationship (because Seashell is kind of a ditz :P)

[foxglove-woods]

congrats on the transition, cryptozoologist cloud 🫡🏳️‍⚧️

[murdlepolls]

MURDLE VOLUME 1 BRACKET MASTERPOST

*yes, i am aware Chef Aubergine shows up twice Round 2. No, I'm not changing it because it would require restructuring *gestures at post* and i just spent 2 hours typing this out. If they both end u p winning their respective polls, whichever won by a smaller margine will be treated as if it lost its poll.

Let me know if you see any names misspelled on this list as i will be referencing it for spelling in the polls. If you have any propaganda for any particular characters either add it to this post in a reblog, comments, or send it as an ask!

Round 1

1.1 - Dean Glaucous vs. Amiral Marine

1.2 - Inspector Irratino (Mister Shadow) vs. Hack Blaxton

1.3 - Principle Applegreen vs. Background Marengo

1.4 - Astrologer Azure vs. The Crystal Goddess

1.5 - Numerologist Night vs. President Midnight

1.6 - The Duke of Vermillion vs. Supreme Master Cobalt

1.7 - High Alchemist Raven vs. Pearl, American Guild of Editors

1.8 - President Amaranth vs. Babyface Blue

1.9 - Sociologist Umber vs. Midnight 1

1.10 - Mx. Tangerine vs. Executive Producer Steel

1.11 - The Dutchess of Vermillion vs. Agent Argyle

1.12 - Superfan Smoky vs. Uncle Midnight

1.13 - Philologist Flint vs. A-List Abalone

1.14 - Admiral Navy vs. Dr. Seashell, DDS

1.15 - Lady Violet vs. Boss Charcoal

Round 2

2.1 - The Amazing Aureolin vs. 1.1

2.2 - Baron Maroon vs. Viscount Eminence

2.3 - General Coffee vs. Chef Aubergine*

2.4 - Cosmonaut Bluski (Mr. Ordinary Blue Sky) vs. Herbalist Onyx

2.5 - Bishop Azure vs. 1.2

2.6 - Grandmaster Rose vs. Chairman Chalk

2.7 - Blackstone, Esq. vs. 1.3

2.8 - Comrade Champagne vs. Deductive Logico

2.9 - Signor Emerald vs. 1.4

2.10 - Cowboy Raspberry vs. Nobeard

2.11 - Officer Copper vs. 1.5

2.12 - Sir Rulean vs. Judge Pine

2.13 - Father Mango vs. 1.6

2.14 - Director Dusty vs. Editor Ivy

2.15 - Philosopher Bone vs. 1.7

2.16 - Constable Copper vs. Secretary Celadon

2.17 - Midnight III vs. 1.8

2.18 - Corporal Coffee vs. Blackbeard

2.19 - Sister Lapis vs. 1.9

2.20 - Deacon Verdigris vs. Cryptozoologist Cloud

2.21 - Captain Slate vs. 1.10

2.22 - Coach Raspberry vs. Agent Ink

2.23 - Vice President Mauve vs. 1.11

2.24 - Brother Brownstone vs. Silverton The Legend

2.25 - Dame Obsidian vs. 1.12

2.26 - Justice Pine vs. Bluebeard

2.27 - Dr. Crimson vs. 1.13

2.28 - Earl Grey vs. Mayor Honey

2.29 - Miss Saffron vs. 1.14

2.30 - Bookie-Winner Gainsboro vs. Assistant Applegreen

2.31 - Chef Aubergine* vs. 1.15

2.32 - Lord Lavender vs. Chancellor Tuscany

Round 3

3.1 - 2.1 vs 2.2

3.2 - 2.3 vs 2.4

3.3 - 2.5 vs 2.6

3.4 - 2.7 vs 2.8

3.5 - 2.9 vs 2.10

3.6 - 2.11 vs 2.12

3.7 - 2.13 vs 2.14

3.8 - 2.15 vs 2.16

3.9 - 2.17 vs 2.18

3.10 - 2.19 vs 2.20

3.11 - 2.21 vs 2.22

3.12 - 2.23 vs 2.24

3.13 - 2.25 vs 2.26

3.14 - 2.27 vs 2.28

3.15 - 2.29 vs 2.30

3.16 - 2.31 vs 2.32

Round 4

4.1 - 3.1 vs 3.2

4.2 - 3.3 vs 3.4

4.3 - 3.5 vs 3.6

4.4 - 3.7 vs 3.8

4.5 - 3.9 vs 3.10

4.6 - 3.11 vs 3.12

4.7 - 3.13 vs 3.14

4.8 - 3.15 vs 3.16

Round 5

5.1 - 4.1 vs 4.2

5.2 - 4.3 vs 4.4

5.3 - 4.5 vs 4.6

5.4 - 4.7 vs 4.8

Round 6

6.1 - 5.1 vs 5.2

6.2 - 5.3 vs 5.4

Round 7

7.1 - 6.1 vs 6.2

Winner

[marblerunning]

Murdle Characters Kill Count - Volume 1

Spoilers under the cut. And a long fucking list.

0 Kills:

Constable Copper

Agent Ink

Cryptozoologist Cloud

The Crystal Goddess

Babyface Blue

Supreme Leader Cobalt

1 Kill:

The Amazing Aureolin

Midnight III (not counting the multiple orchestrations)

Philosopher Bone

Officer Copper

Doctor Crimson

Sister Lapis

Deacon Verdigris

Lord Lavender

Brother Brownstone

Comrade Champagne

Grandmaster Rose

Bookie Winner Gainsboro

Director Dusty

Chairman Chalk

Silverton The Legend

Vice President Mauve

Sociologist Umber

Numerologist Night

Herbalist Onyx

High Alchemist Raven

Duchess Of Vermillion

Principal Applegreen

Viscount Eminence

Astrologer Azure

Duke Of Vermillion

Mx Tangerine

Admiral Navy

Président Amaranth

Dean Glaucous

Uncle Midnight

Superfan Smoky

Doctor Seashell, DDS

Hack Blaxton

Executive Producer Steel

Background Marengo

Boss Charcoal

A-List Abalone

Pearl, AGE

Actor Crimson

President Midnight

Agent Argyle

Inspector Irratino

2 Kills:

Father Mango

Miss Saffron

Signor Emerald

Bishop Azure

Blackstone, Esq

Cosmonaut Bluski

Earl Grey

Sir Rulean

Editor Ivory

Assistant Applegreen

Secretary Celadon

Chancellor Tuscany

Judge Pine

Philologist Flint

Lady Violet

Baron Maroon

3 Kills:

Dame Obsidian

Captain Slate

Chef Aubergine

General Coffee

Coach Raspberry

4 Kills:

Mayor Honey

[joannes-journal]

A Clipping From a West Virginian Newspaper

=+=+=+=+=

There have been reports of wild fires along the western region of West Virginia on top of the missing people cases.

Some of our citizens may know that there have been an alarming number of missing person cases popping up within the past week and some unfortunate hikers have found some of these people nailed to scorched trees with severe head trauma and missing spines.

They say the area smells like smoke and perfume and is covered with burnt claw marks embedded in the dirt and trees.

One of our residents, a self-proclaimed Cryptozoologist, one who studies cryptids such as Bigfoot and our own Mothman, has reported a large creature in the same area while on a camping trip.

"This... entity...it looked like a large human...but it's torso was detached at the hips. It's spine...it was just so long...and it's arms and legs and neck...it was all just spine. It carried with it this...cloak...I went to get a picture but by the time I got my camera it had tossed the cloak on and vanished in a cloud of black smoke. Then my asthma...I'm sorry, really, I wanted to get a picture or video but...I needed my inhaler" - Unnamed "Cryptozoologist", 36

=+=+=+=+=

[moonlitcomet]

Does Soul Rune Cier have legends of cryptids? If so, what are they?

There is a story from Bahp of a towering creature that spans the sky. Its legs are elevators to the heavens and they say that its flowing mane lugs the moon behind it. Nobody really knows what it is, but Bahp citizens swear on their lives that it is real.

Cryptozoologists go nuts for this thing, and it's had its fair share of sightings in the country even in recent years. Grainy photos circulate the internet of four dark towering spires that become lost in the cloud cover.

Many people nowadays who don't care about cryptids believe that the recurring imagery of this creature is simply that of night time water spouts, but there have been cases where they supposedly witnessed it themselves and proceeded to insist it is real.

[voiceless-host]

[Spoilers ahead I guess. I'm not sure if anyone who actually listens to the podcast is going to read this because I'm not putting it in the main tags. I don't know if anyone is going to read this period, but that's beside the point. If I was particularly concerned with someone reading this, I would be saying it somewhere else.]

Honestly, a lot of my past is different from what they presented in the episode. I'm not a marine biologist. I'm a quantum physicist technically, but with my time with the Foundation and in Night Vale I generalized so much that I can barely really consider myself a quantum physicist anymore. It's part of why they sent me to Night Vale. They assumed its constantly shifting location was a quantum anomaly, the result of a probability cloud of locations of where it could be rather than an actual place [similar to an electron]. By this point in my timeline I was more of a cryptozoologist than anything else, but in headspace I manage our internal communication systems and do research into parallel universes. And I'm not from California. I'm from Washington.

It feels... Weird to be so starkly different from what's stated in canon. I know Kevin's been having to deal with it, but up until now the biggest canon difference I've had to deal with is working for the Foundation before coming to Night Vale [in our timeline, the UoWII was more of a front for the Foundation than an actual University. They used it for recruitment basically]

-Carlos

New episode comes out and all I can think is wow. I have a different last name than canon me.

-Carlos

[thecreaturecodex]

Ninki Nanka

“Swamp Dragon” © Davey Baker, accessed at his ArtStation here

[The ninki nanka is an example of what I was talking about with the fantasies about Africa influencing its cast of monsters. If you ask a cryptozoologist, a ninki nanka is some sort of giant reptile, maybe a dinosaur or monitor lizard. If you ask an actual Mandinka person, they will tell you that it’s a powerful and intelligent being, controller of weather and blesser of kings. Much more interesting than just another relict swamp dinosaur that fits better with paleontology that went out of date in the 1960s.]

Ninki Nanka CR 14 LN Dragon This great draconic creature has four short legs and is slung low to the ground. It is covered with black scales, with flecks of golden and silver scales among them. It has two long horns growing from its head.

A ninki nanka is an aquatic tropical dragon that meddles in the affairs of the people who live in its wide territory. It rarely deigns to interfere in the lives of commoners, but feels very strongly about the rulership of the people who live there. A ninki nanka considers itself a kingmaker, and if it is not consulted to give its authorization to the local king, it will make life difficult for the people that king rules. Ninki nankas have a variety of magic powers, which they can use to bless those they approve of and vex those they do not. If a ninki nanka is particularly impressed with a potential mortal ruler, it will bestow a magical scale upon them that enhances their Charisma and can conjure great treasures…at the cost of the ninki nanka being able to check in on them whenever the dragon wishes.

A ninki nanka views combat as an interesting challenge and diversion at times, but usually only uses a fraction of its power. Typically it tries to just kill enemies with its jaws and horns, or blast them with its rainbow breath, which carries multiple types of destructive energy. Anyone who survives the ninki nanka’s initial assault is seen as more worthy, whereupon the dragon begins to draw upon its magical powers. Ninki nankas do not hesitate to flee from a losing fight, but will return later and call upon allies to help it take revenge.

Ninki nankas come in all alignments, but most of them are lawful. Good ninki nankas only support kings who are good to their subjects, and evil ninki nankas value might and cunning about kindness and mercy. There are a few chaotic ninki nankas; these bestow their favor on potential rulers who will shake up and change their societies, whether for better or worse depending on the moral alignment or the whims of the dragon. Like most dragons, ninki nankas value treasure, and those wishing to court their favor usually give them gifts. It eats gold and other precious metals, incorporating them into its scales. When a ninki nanka is slain, a treasure value equal to the normal amount for a creature of its CR can be extracted from its hide with a successful DC 25 Craft (metalworking) or Survival check. There are few creatures strong enough to simply hunt ninki nankas for their hides.

Ninki Nanka      CR 14 XP 38,400 LN Huge dragon (aquatic) Init +6; Senses blindsense 60 ft., darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +24, scent Aura frightful presence (60 ft., DC 24) Defense AC 29, touch 11, flat-footed 26 (-2 size, +2 Dex, +1 dodge, +18 natural) hp 200 (16d12+96) Fort +16, Ref +12, Will +15 DR 15/magic; Immune paralysis, sleep; Resist acid 10, cold 10, electricity 10, fire 10, sonic 10; SR 25 Offense Speed 40 ft., swim 60 ft. Melee bite +21 (2d6+7 plus grab), 2 claws +21 (1d6+7), gore +21 (1d12+7), tail slap +16 (2d8+10 plus trip) Space 15 ft.; Reach 15 ft. (10 ft. with claws) Special Attacks powerful blows (tail slap), rainbow breath (60 foot line, Ref DC 24) Spell-like Abilities CL 14th, concentration +20 (+24 casting defensively) At will—divine favor, endure elements, enthrall (DC 18), fog cloud, heat metal (DC 18), obscuring mist 3/day—call lightning (DC 19), discern lies (DC 20), fire shield, empowered flame strike (DC 21), greater command (DC 21), ice storm, magic vestment, quickened searing light, sleet storm 1/day—control weather, control winds (DC 22), fire seeds (DC 22), geas/quest, repulsion (DC 23), sunbeam (DC 23) Statistics Str 24, Dex 15, Con 22, Int 17, Wis 20, Cha 23 Base Atk +16; CMB +25 (+29 grapple); CMD 38 (42 vs. trip) Feats Alertness, Blind-Fight, Combat Casting, Dodge, Empower SLA (flame strike), Improved Initiative, Power Attack, Quicken SLA (searing light) Skills Climb +16, Diplomacy +21, Intimidate +21, Knowledge (arcana, local, nobility, religion) +18, Perception +24, Sense Motive +24, Spellcraft +18, Stealth +9 (+17 underwater), Survival +20, Swim +24 Languages Aquan, Boggard, Common, Draconic SQ amphibious, font of magic (Nobility, Sun, Weather), scale of splendor Ecology Environment warm forests and freshwater Organization solitary or pair Treasure standard plus special (see above) Special Abilities Font of Magic (Sp) A ninki nanka gains access to the spells from three cleric domains as spell-like abilities. One of these is always the Nobility domain, but the other two domains vary between individuals. The ninki nanka can only choose an alignment domain if its alignment matches the domain. A ninki nanka can use the 1st and 2nd level spells as spell like abilities at will, the 3rd, 4th and 5th level spells as spell-like abilities 3/day, and the 6th and 7th level spells as spell like abilities 1/day. If two of its domains grant the same spell, it increases the amount of times it can use this to the next step. For example, if a ninki nanka has both the Liberation and Luck domain, it would be able to use break enchantment and freedom of movement at will. Rainbow Breath (Su) As a standard action, a ninki nanka can breathe multicolored energy in a 60 foot line. Any creature in the area takes 3d8 points of acid damage, 3d8 points of cold damage, 3d8 points of electricity damage, 3d8 points of fire damage and 3d8 points of sonic damage. A ninki nanka can use this ability three times per day, but must wait 1d4 rounds between uses. Scale of Splendor (Su) A ninki nanka can shed a single scale as a full round action, which acts as a rod of splendor for a single individual designated by the ninki nanka. A ninki nanka can view whoever carries the scale at will as per a scrying spell (Will DC 24 negates). This functions for any creature who holds the scale, whether they are designated to use it or not. A ninki nanka can only have one scale of splendor at a time. The scale is an object with a hardness of 6 and 5 hit points.

[aishele]

4. Cat-whale hybrid

Made for #cutehybridsdrawingchallenge hosted by @cozazycko @holi_klimowicz @paula_nazar_chuck and me - @kolazenska

It may not look like a very cute creature, but it really is! Come on, it's a cat, but huge like a whale and it makes this water fountain, too! Although, unlike real whales, it doesn't eat or even hurt any tiny beings like krill or plankton but rather protects them.

If you're a bad greedy big fish, beware of the cat-whale - the greatest friend of the working class.

Some cryptozoologists from Revachol say that in fact every cat-whale is a very, very large and well-organised shoal of fish.

This creature was inspired by the famous anarcho-syndycalist wildcat symbol - used also by @inicjatywapracownicza trade union.

Hey, you! Join our drawing challenge!

#cutehybridsdrawingchallenge

snail-peach

underwater hen

mushroom cloud

cat-whale

star dog

snake with bat's head and wings

cat-dragonfly

little animal with plant body with little buds

a plant-fish hybrid that is half-cactus and half-blowfish.

plant that performs photosynthesis at night (with the light of stars and planets)

mosquito flower (six legs, agile, drinks blood)

plant-sheep, green, covered with little leaves, flowers, fruits

[giftshopofcuriosities]

The Strange Case of the Minnesota Iceman. 

Discovered in the late 60′s, zoologist Bernard Heuvelmans and biologist Ivan Sanderson discover a hairy corpse believed to be a huminoid neanderthal who is thought to be the bridge species between man and ape. Frozen in a block of ice, this creature was used in side-show events being displayed in shopping malls, carnivals and state fairs. Cryptozoologists believe the ice man to be a descendant of the yeti or big foot, however scientists believe it to be a hoax. In 2013 the “original” Minnesota Iceman was sold on eBay and is still currently on display in the Museum of the Weird in Austin, Texas, although this has also been refuted as the original was said to have been switched out with a latex model at some point during the original examination. The mystery of the Minnesota Iceman remains clouded with uncertainty and lack of evidence. 

[berrypass-de-murdler]

3 - 41 Bury Your Dead at Sea

I drew mermaid Irratino and now I'm going to really draw mermaid Irratino.

Huh, that actually fits this episode

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

Considering that Central is the most blatantly obvious place to look for Logico at the moment (and Irratino reminds that they’re after him, too), they keep on running, bound to end up with more filler shenanigans. 

LOGICO: What’s a vehicle we’ve never been on? IRRATINO: I know! A submarine! LOGICO: That’s true, but we can’t just find a submarine!! IRRATINO: Then the Tekkies can’t just find us.

So they search for where to rent a submarine. The universe, being on their side for once, grants them one. And they head into the deep. And for some reason, Aubergine decided to follow them.

AUBERGINE: Hey guys! LOGICO: Hhhh what do you want? AUBERGINE: Just wanna know what you’re up to. LOGICO: Right now, solving a regular dead person murder. Even in a submarine! Can you believe it? IRRATINO: Yeah…

The sub belongs to none other than Cryptozoologist Cloud.

CLOUD: I was hiding in the ocean in my despair, working on protective experiments to help save us from TekTopia… but I’ll always let you on board, Inspector Irratino.

Irratino pets his fluffy doggo. Logico hates dogs, but will tolerate Cloud.

Dr. Crimson appears from thin air, and sits next to Aubz!

AUBERGINE: ROSIE!!!! LOGICO: YOU’RE ALIVE??? CRIMSON: Yyyy…yyeeEEEEEEESSS! That’s… me… a- ALIVE CRIMSON.

She seems nervous and wary - but that would make sense, considering when people last saw her.

AUBERGINE: Are… you doing okay? CRIMSON: Never Better! I earned a BRAND-NEW medical degree! IRRATINO: It doesn’t look like there’s a scratch on you. You fell off a 10-story building! CRIMSON: Exactly! But with my medical skills, I fixed myself!

Aubergine tenses. Something is not right about Rosie Crimson. 

AUBERGINE: IIII don’t trust this.

Crimson looks sad.

AUBERGINE: I mean… I- Nope. No. I don’t trust it. IRRATINO: Aubergine, she’s probably traumatized from her fall!

Aubz pouts. A shark man is swimming around outside, which catches Logico’s attention. He takes the microphone.

LOGICO: Excuse me! Have you seen the body or anyone else in this submersible before?

Everyone snickers at Logico saying ‘submersible’.

SHARK: Actually, yes! I keep finding that insane human woman’s hair in the water.  LOGICO: So Crimson went SWIMMING. So soon after your near-death…

He realizes that’s a cruel thing to say. Irratino uses a normal way to look for clues - he holds his breath until his face turns purple.

LOGICO: IRRATINO CLOUD: NO! 

Thinking Irratino is dying, Cloud tackles him to the ground and is about to give him mouth-to-mouth. Irratino screams.

IRRATINO: Good lord, I am never trying that again!

Eventually, Aubergine is confirmed to be the sus one all along.

AUBERGINE: I should have cooked you, Deductive Logico! Damn… I need to get a new catchphrase. LOGICO: Also, it’s incredibly rude and very dumb. IRRATINO: Hey, hey! Logico! You gotta learn to look on the bright side. It’s a compliment!  LOGICO: How the fuck is that a compliment? IRRATINO: [leans down to him] It means you look delicious… 

Logico shoves him away very fast. The sub is rising… BUT TO WHERE??

The end! 

"You look delicious" is a canon line from Irratino I-

I wouldn't trade my goat lord for anything

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[lilythelitten]

Since you mentioned it in your most recent headcanon drop and have mentioned it in your fics too, I'm really curious- What sort of health issues do you headcanon Cloud to have?

…

Okay, so somewhat embarrassingly, I didn’t actually think about that too much until now :P

I just noticed that Cloud was described as having white hair, couldn’t really see him as being that old, and decided to go the disease bleach route. I did know that:

It was chronic, but not terminal; Cloud could be expected to live a normal amount of years, barring bloody murder;

They have a fairly weak immune system, either contributing to or because of that issue.

But hey, I did some research, and after looking it over, I think the most likely issue is chronic fatigue syndrome. There could be other stuff outside of that, but it does pretty handily explain a lot of Cloud’s issues.

…

Worth noting, they did suffer radiation poisoning in Volume 2 and came out of it completely fine, so maybe the sicknesses toughened them up a little :P

[whitepolaris]

Mothman of Gallipolis

Mothman, the creature made famous in the 2001 Richard Gere movie The Mothman Prophecies, has clear Ohio connections. While the story itself was factionalized for the film, it is based on true events that occurred in the 1960s in Point Pleasant, West Virginia. Point Pleasant is located on the Ohio River, right across from Gallipolis, Ohio, and the Mothman was as much as inhabitant of that Ohio town as it was of Point Pleasant. 

The story began in November 1966, when sightings of what locals were calling Big Bird began getting media attention. It was an Ohio copy editor who dubbed the thing Mothman,

While most people remember the sightings from the Point Pleasant side, Ohio was a hotbed of Mothman activity as well. On November 17, 1966, a teenage boy said he saw a gray man-shaped ten-foot-tall creature with red eyes while he was driving on Route 7, near Cheshire, Ohio. The Mothman spread its wings and pursued the eyewitness’s car. Then on December 4, 1966, five pilots at the Gallipolis an airplane flying about 70 miles per hour. Then all five agreed that it appeared to be a giant bird with a long neck. On December 7, 1966, four women were driving along Route 33 in Ohio when they spied a brownish-silver man-shaped flying creature with glowing red eyes. 

The history of Ohio’s links to those avian wonders goes very deep into its past. In Mark A. Hall’s book Thunderbirds: America’s Living Legend of Giant Birds, he records the following entry from William Connelly about the Wyandot Indians of Ohio: 

The Flying Heads plagued the Wyandots. They were more dangerous and troublesome during rainy, foggy, or misty weather. They could enter a cloud of fog, or mist, or rime, and in it approach a Wyandot village unseen. They were cruel and wicked hooh-kehs and cannibals. They caused sickness; they were vampires, and lay in wait for people, whom they caught and devoured. They carried away children, they blighted the tobacco and other crops; they stole and devoured the game after the hunter had killed it.

Cryptozoologist Hall writes that these Ohio river Valley Mothmen may have developed a protective mimicry so they could “disguise themselves as upright trees and logs lying on the ground.” An example of this mimicry can be seen in the following story told to Hall by a woman in Ohio: In August 1982, the woman saw something she couldn’t understand at Rocky Fork Lake in southern Ohio. About a year later, she saw a similar sight at the same lake. According to the woman, “While fishing in Rocky Fork Lake in Ohio, we drifted into a pristine cover on the southwest side and noted with utter disbelief an old tall topless tree truck approx 9-20 feet high. 112 inches around, move about 4 ft. sideways. (This was onshore about 20 ft. inland among like-looking trees and underbrush.) Again it moved, only this time there was a partial twisting or rotation from the top 18-24 inches. It slowly maneuvered backward (keeping erect like a tree) into the woods, with NO NOISES from it or the underbrush, as graceful as a bird thru a tree. It stopped in the middle of the sunlight clearing.” She then said that the “wings unfolded with a span greater than most small airplanes.” After a while, it returned to its “tree appearance.” She saw the “semblance of two eyes” and thought it was watching them. 

The sun went down, and the sight was lost to view. “One year later, same lake and a half mile or so from that first cove this figure appeared near the shoreline again. (It seemed taller or leaner.) This time [I] got a look at its legs and feet-yellowish grainy like chicken legs . . . they were so thin and short for its height. Three long slender toes with a hooked toe or nail on the lower leg.” 

The legend of the Mothman hiding in plain sight is still circulating in the communities on the Ohio side of the river. 

Some speculate that the flurry of Mothman sightings that began in 1966 was a warning sign that something tragic was going to happen. They believe that the dark prophecy was realized when key bar no. 13 of the Silver Bridge broke on December 15, 1967, and the bridge between Point Pleasant, West Virginia, and Gallipolis, Ohio, collapsed, taking people to their death. Tragically, a state-by-state breakdown of the dead as a result of the bridge collapse reveal that two were from Virginia, three from North Carolina, nineteen from West Virginia, and the greatest number-twenty-two victims-were from Ohio. 

What the Mothman Witnesses Saw

A report named Mary Hyre, who was the Point Pleasant correspondent for the Athens, Ohio, newspaper The Messenger during the 1966-1967 Mothman flap, wrote extensively about the local sightings. In fact, after one very active weekend, she was deluged with over five hundred phone calls from people who saw strange lights in the skies. 

John Keel, who has written extensively about Mothman and other unexplained anomalies, became the major chronicler of the Mothman case and wrote that at least one hundred people personally witnessed the creature between November 1966 and November 1967. 

According to their reports, the creature stood between five and seven feet tall, was wider than a man, and shuffled on humanlike legs. Its eyes were set near the top of the shoulders, and it had batlike wings that glided, rather than flapped, when it flew. Strangely, though, it was able to ascend straight up “like a helicopter.” Witnesses also described its murky skin as being either gray or brown and said that it emitted a humming sound when it flew. The Mothman was apparently incapable of speech and it gave off a screeching sound. 

But there could have been a logical explanation for some of the sightings. Even John Keel (who believed the creature was genuine) suspected that a few of the cases involved people who were spooked by recent reports and saw owls flying along deserted roads at night. Even so, Mothman remains hard to easily dismiss. The case is filled with an impressive number of multiple-witness sightings that were deemed reliable even by law-enforcement officials’ standards. -Troy Taylor

[the-coffee-story]

Coffee - Murder in Red Moon Motel

Chapter 6 - The Story that was repeated

There was a full blown storm outside the 24/7 diner. The Professor watched the lightning that occasionally illuminated the glistening street, ignoring the croissant on his plate. It wasn't a particularly good croissant anyway.

Professor Jules Calvet was a tall lanky Frenchman. Despite not being quite that old his shoulder-lengthed hair was of a storm cloud grey not unlike the sky during the day that had passed. But the most striking part of his appeareance were undoubtedly the piercing green eyes under his bushy eyebrows. Everyone who met him felt x-rayed by them, like he read their deepest thoughts and understood. In reality all he'd done was practise the piercing glance in front of the mirror, but nobody needed to know that.

"Sally, can I get another black coffee?", he asked, giving the counter a glance.

The waitress shrugged her shoulders. "Sure."

The door opened and a new customer stumbled in. The Professor looked up to see a young man with soaking wet blonde curls and exceptionally long lashes. Apparently he'd landed just in the rainstorm.

"Good morning, erm, evening!", he yelped.

"Hi." Sally didn't bother to give him more than one glance. "The chicken is on a special price today."

"I'm vegetarian..."

"Not my fault." She shrugged her shoulders. "Prices are on the menu. What can I get you to drink?"

"Oh, uh...can I get an orange juice?"

"Noted. Have you decided what you want to eat yet?"

"Uh..."

"Hurry up, I have the sixth black coffee for the night to make." Sally glared at the Professor.

"Ehm...can I get a cheese sandwich?"

"Sure." She got one out of the fridge, threw it on a chipped plate and put it on the young man's tray. "Pick a seat, Mister."

He looked around. The Professor could see in his eyes that he really didn't want to sit alone. And indeed, the young man came up to his table and hesitated.

"Mind if I sit with you?", he asked.

"No, of course not." The Professor made some space. "You're welcome to."

"Thank you." The young man smiled shyly and put his tray on the table. "I've had kind of a wild day."

"No problem." The Professor was absentmindedly playing with his pocket knife. Again.

"News at midnight!" The radio made both of them listen up. "In Red Moon Motel a man was found dead by his fellow guest Carlton Nevel. This man has now been identified as the thirty-five-year-old lorry driver Denny Chung. His death can safely be ruled a suicide."

The young man nodded towards the radio. "You know...if that was a suicide, then I'll become a cryptozoologist and emigrate to the north pole."

"I wholeheartedly agree with you. Something is decidedly wrong about the case," the Professor said. "So what are you going to do?"

"Hm?"

The Professor nodded towards his police uniform and the young man groaned. "Ohh. Nothing, apparently. I got fired today."

"Oh dear. Why's that?"

He hesitated.

"You know... it's kinda something...well... socially rather frowned upon...", he admitted.

"I got fired from my last job because I slit my wrists and got blood on the carpet. For getting blood on the carpet. Can't get freakier than that." The Professor shrugged his bony shoulders.

"Oh." The young man's ice blue eyes widened. "Well-!"

"Did you kill someone?"

"Pff, you think they'd fire you for that?!" He laughed bitterly. "I did the exact opposite. I saved a trans woman from my colleague."

"Oh dear." The Professor sighed. "I would've given you a raise instead."

The young man blinked. "It's not funny."

"Oh, I wasn't joking. Saving a life is the greatest thing one can do. You don't fire someone for that."

"Well, tell that to my boss," he sighed.

"Did you like the job?"

"I liked... I liked helping people. But being a cop is the exact opposite. They just look for people to hurt. I constantly got in trouble because I didn't arrest enough folks. I just wanted to be good. I don't want to hurt people."

"That's noble."

The young man laughed bitterly. "I appreciate the sentiment. Won't really help me tho."

"I'm just curious," the Professor said and put his knife back into his pocket where it belonged. "Most policemen I know don't exactly care about the lgbt community. In fact, you are the first I know who does. Why?"

He hesitated. "I'm not sure whether I should say this."

"I'm not going to judge you."

"Don't hit me, but I think I might be a girl."

"Oh? That's wonderful!"

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

The young woman blinked. "You-you don't think it's something bad?"

"Why would I?" The Professor gave her a reassuring smile, although it turned out a little ghostly - he hadn't smiled in ages. "Will you transition?"

She hesitated. "I'm not sure whether I should, I mean... I want to, but..."

"If you feel like it, why don't you do it?"

The woman chewed her lip. "But what will everyone think of me...?"

"Does it matter?" The Professor leaned forward and his piercing green eyes made her shiver. "You only live once. Make yourself happy."

The woman blinked and looked at her fingernails.

"So you think I can just do it?"

"Sure."

Her mouth twitched. Then she smiled. "You know, you're the first one to be so nice to me about this. And I don't even know you."

He held out his hand. "I'm Professor Jules Calvet."

The woman reached out and shook it. "I'm Grace Storm."

"Grace." He nodded. "That's a good name."

She was beaming. "Thank you!"

"Grace, may I ask you a question?"

She shrugged her narrow shoulders. "I mean, why not?"

"Would you do me the honor of investigating Denny Chung's death with me?"

***

"Wow, I thought everyone was transphobic in the seventies," Walther admitted.

Quentin nearly spat out his darjeeling. "Pff, are you kidding me? You've never met the Professor, man. He was the real deal."

"I mean, yeah, I kinda haven't." Walther raised their eyebrows.

"Oh. Right. Dementia's setting in," Quentin groaned.

"Nah, that's not dementia, sweetheart, that's your natural stupidity," Harley cheerily commented.