#crying because he thinks Remus doesn’t love him anymore

[imjustherefortheshipping]

I drew some Sirius whump art✨✨

Inspired by my wolfstar canon fix-it fic “I’d cross an ocean for you” on ao3

(read here https://archiveofourown.org/works/50300008/chapters/127068982)

Sirius watching the full moon in Azkaban, thinking of Remus being all alone and in pain:

[alwaysanundertone]

Why Try | poly! marauders x fem reader

slight angst, fluff

word count: 1.3k

CW: mention of not eating (previous chapter), swearing, kissing (?)

tag list: tag: @staarflowerr @mooonyxoxo @liviessun @lonely-nerd-sodaholic @hcqwxrtss123

chapter 1, chapter 2, this is chapter 3, chapter 4 will be coming soon

After the fainting accident, you decided to go for a walk together by the Black Lake, given the fact that your secret relationship wasn’t a secret anymore.

Sirius sat by a tree, gesturing for you to lay down and rest your head on his thighs; you did so, James by your side and Remus at your feet, massaging your calves. You sat in comfortable silence for a while, though you knew it was bound to end.

“I hate to interrupt this, but I feel like we have to talk” You turned your head to Remus, who was looking at you sweetly. “First, how are we gonna deal with your brother? You said he was really protective over you”

You took a deep breath, you could just keep up with this lie, or tell the truth. “He is, but he’ll get over it, I’ll deal with him”. You smiled, trying hard to school your expression in order to not seem suspicious.

“Okay doll, still you shouldn’t have to deal with him alone, you know? We are more than happy to help” James looked at you softly, and you felt like a complete asshole, lying to him like that.

The problem was, you were ashamed of your insecurities. Even it still hurt to think about them, it seemed so silly to talk, to acknowledge the fact that you were, in fact, sad over something so insignificant.

“Why did you avoid us?” You startled, looking up at Sirius.

“I didn’t-“

“You did. We were worried sick, but we didn’t want to overstep, because we aren’t official yet. If you were sad you could have come to us, we could have talk it out, you know?” He looked genuinely hurt. “What happened? I just- We just want to know, please? And also, why did you starve yourself?”

Now you were feeling ashamed and guilty. You were not right for them, you didn’t know much about Sirius family situation, but you knew that he didn’t need another thing to worry about. Remus and James had their problems, and they needed to support Sirius, definitely not you.

“Love? Talk to us, will you?”

“This was a mistake” You tried hard not to cry, to seem heartless.

“What? What was a mistake?” Sirius looked devastated, and that hurt even more.

Your voice cracked slightly. “This whole relationship thing, I’m no good for you, I ruined everything like I always do” You sniffed slightly. “I’m sorry” You quickly detangled from them.

“No, wait Y/N, I didn’t mean-“ You started walking away, James was swearing while Sirius voice sounded dangerously close to crack. “Y/N! For God’s sake, come back”

You did it. You ruined everything like you always did, but this time it was for the best. This time you were protecting them, and this made you feel slightly better.

Maybe you spoke too quickly.

Remus had your wrist in an iron grip. “Y/N. You can’t just walk away like that.” You tugged your wrist, but he didn’t let go. “No, now you’ll listen to me. You can’t run away without an explanation. Here’s what’s gonna happen: you will sit down, and you will explain what is going on in that pretty head of yours, and we will listen to you. Then, only then, we will talk this out”

You sniffled, watching Sirius and James catching up to you, the latter hugging you tightly. You broke.

“It’s just that I ruin everything, I always do!” You cried. “I don’t mean to hurt the ones I love, but I just do, look at Sirius! I might not know everything about his situation, but I know he doesn’t need to worry about me, on top of everything.” James was rubbing soothing circles on your back. “I’m not enough for you.”

Sirius forrowed his brows. “Love, don’t think for a moment that you’re a burden. You made these last weeks so full of joy, you made me worry less about everything else.“

“But you were worried about me, I didn’t mean to-“

“Listen, I’m always going to worry about the people I love, understood? I can’t just not be effected by it, so you should get used to it”

Your heart did a somersault. “Love?”

They all smiled at you gently. “Yeah, you’re becoming more important to us every day, it’s definitely starting to feel like love to us” James kissed your forehead. “We had a massive crush on you far before you started talking to us, you know? So don’t think for a moment you’re not good enough for us, because you are, I can assure you baby. Just think about the heartbreak you will put us through if you leave”

“It’s just- Look at me, why are you so interested in me? I have nothing special, I’m not super smart, I don’t look like a model, I fail at all of my hobbies! You are literally perfect, and popular, and smart and funny, I don’t get it. You are just-“ A sob broke through. “I don’t deserve you”

They all hugged you, Remus cradled your head in his hands, he was so gentle, so soft, you had no choice but to melt into his touch. “I won’t tolerate hearing you talk so badly about yourself; all of this negativity will inevitably affect your perception of yourself and our relationship, and we can’t have that, now can we?” You shook your head. “Exactly. So next time you feel like that, you will come to us, we will talk it out and then cuddle, but you just can’t disappear on us! Not even the Gray Lady would do this!”

“Yeah, Moony is right.” You looked up at Sirius. “I know that avoided us seemed like the best option, but avoiding a problem doesn’t make it go away; and just for the record, not eating doesn’t make a problem disappear, don’t neglect yourself like that ever again, for the love of God”

Your crying quieted down during Remus and Sirius’ speech, now you were looking into Moony’s eyes, you felt his breathing getting slightly more laboured.

“Can I kiss you, baby?” You breath hitched, and you nodded slightly.

You felt his lips press on yours, softly, the scar on his upper lip rubbing gently against you. His hands started making their descent, first on your waist, then at the small of your back, the tips of his fingers on the upper part of your ass. You licked at his lower lip, making him moan.

Suddenly, his tongue was in your mouth, and his hands were squeezing your ass, making you whimper. He then started trailing kisses down your neck, making your legs wobble. Sirius came up behind you, his arms around your waist.

“You like what Remus is doing to you, doll?” You nodded, incapable of saying a word. “Yeah? What if I did this?” Starting at the base of your neck, he started kissing and licking the part of your neck unoccupied. You were so lost in the things they were doing to you, you didn’t realise that Remus was actually giving you hickeys.

You felt Remus going away, you were not given the moment to mourn his loss because he was replaced with James, who started kissing you, his hands directly on your ass, squeezing softly and pressing you more into him.

“Okay, I think it’s best to stop this before it gets out of control” You blushed, Sirius smirking down at you.

“I think we should go cuddle in our dorm” James gently massaged your shoulders. “How was our first kiss, love?”

You felt your ears burning. “G-Good. It was good, fantastic actually”

They all laughed, leading you to the Gryffindor tower.

[inkdrinkerworld]

omg please write that !!! ur so talented i know it would be amazing !!

Cw: angst, sibling arguments, being perceived as a bad person, anxiety, overthinking 0.8k

“Dove, you can’t keep letting them get away with that! It’s not fair.” Remus is tugging at his hair, his eyes wide as he tries to get his point across.

You’re not exactly sure how you venting about your day had turned into an argument but it had.

You’re on a video call, eyes tired as you explained to Remus the plights of your last few days.

You’d had the most massive falling out with your siblings because you’d tried standing up for yourself and now no one was speaking to you.

Mostly because you’d just resorted to silence than actually continuing the conversation- be it for fear of them fully disliking you or be it just to keep the peace.

Remus had been there for some of your arguments, he knew that eight times out of ten they took simple instructions or comments the wrong way no matter how clear you’d been.

“Rem, I have to. It’s just easier.”

Remus narrows his eyes at you, taking in your tear puffed cheeks, red eyes and shaking form.

“For who? I don’t mean to be harsh, but it’s clearly not easier for you. You’ve been crying nonstop and you’re not speaking to each other.”

You sigh, hard. Remus isn’t getting it and in your annoyance, you think he’s being thick on purpose.

“Remus, it’s just how it always is. We fight, we don’t speak and then it sorts itself out.”

He rubs his forehead. Remus has had this conversation with you before, and while he’s always been open about his opinions, he’s never been this upset.

Most definitely because you’ve never been this upset by it.

“It doesn’t though, you forgive them without saying anything and bottle it up until the next disagreement.” You’re sure he doesn’t mean to be harsh, but having your behavior pointed out this clearly is jarring in a way that it’s never been before.

Your eyes spring tears at his words. You love and you hate how well Remus is at reading you.

He takes your silence as the floor to continue, “They already think you’re a bad person, what’s standing up for yourself going to do? They’re not going to take the silence as anything but you being ‘difficult’, just like always.”

You choke back a sob, “But I don’t like being the bad guy. Being that is exhausting Remus and having people think that is hurtful and it’s tiring and,” you sniffle a breath in. “I just don’t want to be that anymore. Everyone else gets the benefit of the doubt besides me.”

“Dove,”

You hang up before he can say anything else and flop back onto your bed with a groan.

Your body shakes as you cry, your stuffed animals soaking up all the wet tears.

It feels horrible, having the people that mean the most to you upset with you.

At first you feel okay, ignoring your conversation with Remus in your head.

And then, your brain works up scenarios where tomorrow or tonight when he calls or if you see him- whichever happens first- he’ll say this is it.

It’s not the first nor is it the second time you’ve both had this conversation, and you imagine he’s upset having to say the same thing repeatedly only for you to ignore his words completely.

You know how tiring that is, and that makes your chest burn even more. It feels like a hot knife slicing through cold butter, this shame and this guilt that sits in your chest.

You cry some more when you realize that Remus really could break up with you, if the look of annoyance on his face had been any give away.

You fall asleep some time between crying over the argument with your siblings, the one with Remus and the anxiety-inducing idea that Remus is done with you.

The shrill ring of your phone wakes you up, and you answer without looking at the screen.

“I didn’t mean to imply that you’re a bad person, dovey.” Is the first thing out of his mouth and you feel your eyes burn with unshed tears again. “You’re not a bad person and you could never be.”

“Yeah,” your voice is groggy and hoarse as you speak. Your eyes are heavy as you blink, weighed down by all that crying. “You’re not upset with me? For being a pushover and for hanging up on you?”

Remus sighs and you wish you could see him.

He feels bad for the couple hours of your overthinking. The regret sets in his chest for a bit before it dissipates.

“Dove,” it’s a little reverent the way he says it. “We’re okay, baby. We’re always going to be okay,” you exhale shakily. “You could do horrible crimes and we’d always be okay. Tell your brain to give you a break okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

You sob softly and Remus makes a cooing sound in his throat.

“Will you come see me? Please?”

Remus chuckles his keys jingling in the background. “I’m on my way dovey, wait for me out front? On the swing set?”

“I can stay over right?” Remus laughs fully this time.

“You’re being silly. Dovey, pack two bags yeah? I’ll be ten minutes.”

[marigold-hills]

day 10: making love | @wolfstarkinktober2024 | 3993 words

MINORS DNI - NSFW - EXPLICIT

(also: crying, spit as lube, touch-starved Sirius)

Also on AO3 here

****

The signal takes twelve years to reach Earth.

There are many colonies now. Some stay in close touch, sharing news, sharing commercial routes. They’re an extension of the life already thriving on the home planet; separated by distance but keeping trade and communication alive.

Not Proxima Centauri b.

Remus remembers reading about it when the colony was established. When Black Industries had revealed themselves to be little more than a cult and left Earth behind to start a new, pure human race.

There was nothing from them. Until now.

The colony has collapsed. Send help, the voice said, then twenty two seconds of static silence. Then: please. 

Chances are there is nobody there anymore. That’s what Head Command cited, when they ruled out the possibility of sending search and rescue. The message was sent twelve years ago, the admiral said, whoever sent it, they’re dead by now. 

But those twenty two seconds played on repeat in Remus’ head. He woke up hearing them, fell asleep replaying them. Then, one morning, the final word, the please, appeared in his dream, and he knew he had to do something.

He’s had some favours he’d scrounged up over the years. Things he never thought to cash in, because what for? He didn’t mind covering the odd shift or hiding the odd miscalculation that a higher-up missed. Sure, there was the time when Admiral Dumbledore came to him to fly someone out of the Sol system under the radar. Sure, Moody once did ask him for help derailing legislation through less than stellar means.

As it turned out, he’s had quite a few people he could press on, lean on, to make it happen. Nobody understood why he cared so much. He didn’t understand either.

But he was given a ship, and indefinite time off work (a sabbatical, they called it - like pilots ever had those). He went alone because that was the deal. Nobody is to know. This is a waste of resources and of taxpayer money.

Two weeks, it takes him to reach the exoplanet.

(Nothing, in comparison to twelve years.)

He doesn’t mind the solitude. Just him and his little ship, and all the stars in the sky. It’s a newer model, easier for a crew of one to manage than the older ones. The computer working the systems keeps getting smarter. Soon, Remus thinks, his job will be obsolete.

Proxima Centauri b is pretty from orbit. Vast oceans, swaths of green, sun-bathed clouds hiding it from view in the most picturesque way. Remus watches as the line of day-night moves across the surface of the planet, so, so slowly. He’s stalling - he’s here and now he’s stalling, because this is it. What if it was for nothing? What if the voice had been extinguished in all the years that passed?

He’s not to land unless he makes contact: a waste of fuel on an already wasteful journey. It’s a clear command and already he knows he’s going to break it, because he’s not come this far just to be waylaid by the colony’s malfunctioning communicator, or the owner of the voice not seeing his message. Because, if he’s there, why would he check it? After all those years? 

Still: there is flagrant disregard of orders, and there is covering one’s tracks, so Remus sends out the message.

Survivors of the Proxima Centauri b colony, come in. 

The little black text on the little green screen flickers with its own electrical life. 

No response comes and Remus tells himself you knew this would happen, it doesn’t mean anything. He sends the message again, and then again after a couple of hours. He has enough fuel to stay in orbit for a week and still get back to Earth with a safe amount spare.

He’s planned it like this: three messages, equal times apart, to show he tried it that way first. Then, short circuit the communicator - notoriously unreliable on the class of ship he’d been provided. Nobody can blame him for not trying. Nobody can blame him for finishing the mission in person.

What else was he to do, turn back?

He lands as near to the colony as the landscape allows. The compound is vast but the atmosphere is breathable. Remus has gotten used to the staleness of the recycled air he’s been in for a fortnight and this freshness is so welcome it makes him a little bit dizzy.

From the first look, it’s clear that the colony was abandoned - that something had happened. Remus’ footsteps echo against the white walls of the compound in an eerie quiet. He’s been to these places, these colonies, more times than he can count, but never once had he seen it empty.

It’s only the steady humming of power, running through the cables built into the floor, that gives him hope.

He comes across a doorway to an Aeroponics bay and this - this can’t be something that had cultivated itself. There must be someone here.

The plants have grown tall, their exposed roots well maintained - the air is moist, warm and hazy and Remus doesn’t think he sees an automatic water deployment system. Somebody must have just sprayed them. He touches the leaves of potato plants, gathering the moisture with his fingers because it’s a dual thing of life here - a sign and a gift.

There’s corn, and what he thinks is spinach, and strawberries. He shouldn’t be surprised - this was a large scale colony, with families and children. Of course they’d have things just for pleasure, even if it’s not the best use of the space.

The first time Remus sees him, it’s just a glimpse of a person walking through greenery. An afterimage of dark hair, of leisurely steps, of a strong, straight posture.

And then the man takes a few steps into the main aisle and turns around, and there he is.

It’s clear he’s been living by himself for too long. His hair hangs past his shoulders, unkempt but clean, a mess of black waves. There is a thinness to his frame, a suggestion of jutting elbows and sharp hipbones, clothes hanging on him like they were used to a larger body. Facial hair accentuating the edges of his cheeks, the set of his eyes.

Even like this, clearly malnourished, clearly not caring for his appearance, he’s beautiful.

They stand apart - two meters, maybe three. Remus still in his flight suit, the man in something soft and worn and comfortable. There’s the buzzing of electricity and the humming of the air purification unit and no other sounds, none at all.

Remus knows it’s him. He knows his silence as others would know his voice

And then: “You came,” and the voice, too, is familiar.

“I did.”

The man takes step after halted step, like walking on unfamiliar ground. He comes closer but not close. Remus understands.

“How long has it been?”

“Twelve years.”

An interface on one of the plant unit beeps and the man turns to it. “Huh,” he huffs out, a small sound almost like no sound at all.

He fiddles with the positioning of roots and presses buttons that make the beeping stop, then picks up an atomiser and sprays a fine mist over the plant. He has lovely hands, even if the fingers look a bit bony and the nails have been bitten down.

“What’s your name?” Remus asks because he’s wanted to know since the first time he heard the recording.

“Sirius,” the man speaks to the plant.

And Remus is a pilot. He knows the stars. He’s flown amongst them, used them as guides. He knows which one is the brightest in the winter sky and how to orient by it.

“Suits you.”

Sirius turns to him again, surprise written clear across his face. “You’re still here,” he says, then pauses. It’s the same pause Remus knows. “You didn’t go away.”

“No, I didn’t. I won’t.”

“No?”

“Not without you.”

More plants get sprayed, more roots adjusted. Sirius checks things on the interface displays along the aisle he stands in.

There is no need for him to maintain them anymore. Back on the ship Remus has enough food to last them both a month. He won’t tell Sirius that - he watches him care for the plants as if by muscle memory. They must be what kept him fed all the years he’s been alone.

He doesn’t move. Everything in the Aeroponics bay feels fragile and breakable, the air soft with mistwater, the silence held up by humming electricity. “Will you come with me?”

“Not today,” he walks out of the Aeroponics bay, doesn’t look back.

***

Proxima Centauri b is situated in a binary star system. The days are almost never ending, and the nights, when they happen, are so black that navigation becomes impossible.

The dual suns are larger than Remus has ever seen from any planet surface, the size of the Earth’s moon when it hangs full low over the horizon. They’re both red Dwarfs, giving out little heat. The sky is painted a dark maroon and the shadows are strange, multi-positioned. Everything looks one-dimensional. Flat, like a photograph. Rendered in tones of reds and greys, and deep, rich blacks.

Walking into the compound is like waking from a surrealist dream.

Sirius is in the Aeroponics bay again, tending to his plants. He doesn’t startle when he sees Remus.

“You came back,” he says after a long stretch of silence. He maintains eye contact this time, waits for the answer. 

“I said I wouldn’t leave.”

“There is a difference between not leaving and coming back.”

Remus wonders where the bodies of everyone who didn’t leave but didn’t come back are. Every other member of the colony of dozens. Did Sirius bury them, dug up the cold, hard ground? Is there a cemetery outside in the infertile red soil? Was it slow, gradual? Or did the colony collapse all at once, suddenly and quickly, until Sirius was all that was left?

“Come,” Sirius says, but doesn’t look if Remus follows.

There is a Mess Hall across from the corridor, with a small kitchen attached. Sirius gestures for Remus to sit. He does, choosing a chair closest to the kitchen and wonders if this is where Sirius would normally sit, or if he rotates his spot, or if Remus is the first to sit there in twelve years.

Sirius placed two bowls on the table, cream-of-potato soup and cornbread. “Eat,” he says, dipping the bread into the soup in lieu of a spoon.

“Thank you.”

Sirius drops the bread and looks at Remus and it’s clear that before he wasn’t, not really. Not at Remus, but through him, like he was an apparition or a hallucination or maybe not there at all. A trick of the light or a figure of mist.

The scrutiny verges on uncomfortable. Remus tries eating, tries to look natural - it would be so easy to spook Sirius here, one wrong move is one too many. Remus can’t afford to make a mistake, not when the eyes looking at him (into him) are so bright with life that simply wasn’t there before. He didn’t notice that Sirius was as flat as the horizon until he sparked up.

“This is very nice,” he says about the food.

And Sirius barks.

It’s a laugh, Remus supposes. An approximation of one. Sirius silences it and touches the hollow of his throat with unsure fingers. Remus wonders how long it’s been since he laughed.

“It tastes like shit,” he says. It’s the most animated he’s sounded since Remus found him. His fingers don’t move from over his trachea, as if he’s feeling the vibrations his voice creates there. “I ran out of salt years ago.” 

Everything they’re eating was grown by Sirius’ hands, then made into food by him too, and that annuls any complaints Remus could have had about the taste. He’s seen how SIrius is with his plants, delicate and caring, like they’re more than just something which provides him with nutrients. 

Did you speak to them? Remus wonders. Did they keep you company, the only other breathing things left here?

Once the food is gone, Sirius meanders away. “I’ll be back tomorrow,” Remus says to his retreating back. Whether Sirius heard it or not is unclear - his steps don’t falter, he doesn’t turn back.

Not today.

***

There is an artificial day-night cycle on Remus’ little ship. Lights simulate the natural progression of the Earth’s sun to keep his circadian rhythm from deteriorating while he’s off planet.

(He dreams of silence.)

In the morning, Sirius is outside of the compound. The angles and edges of his face look softened in the strange reddish shadows. He doesn’t say you came back, doesn’t say anything. The way he watches Remus is unlike he’s ever been watched before: shrewd intent, no hesitation. Each step he takes towards him is like that, too.

Remus doesn’t move. Waits for Sirius to reach him. (He thinks he’ll always wait for Sirius to reach him.)

“Who are you?” Sirius finally asks as they’re face-to-face, less than an arms’ length apart, close enough to touch.

“Lieutenant Remus Lupin,” he answers in the simplest way he knows how. They both know that’s not what the question meant.

“Why are you here?”

“You know why,” Remus tells him. It’s not you sent a call for help and it’s not it was my duty. 

Surely, Sirius feels it too - maybe felt it before Remus got here; when the message made it to Earth or when Remus was played it for the first time, or when he downloaded it onto his personal drive and snuck it out of the lab. These things don’t happen in a vacuum. Surely, Sirius too must have dreamt of this moment when the silence gets filled with words, and the next one when it will be filled with sound. Just the two of them, where before Sirius was alone, reminding the air what it feels like to resonate.

Sirius takes the last step forward and brings his hand up, fingers trembling as, haltingly, he places it over Remus’ heart.

“We don’t have to,” Remus tells him, “we can wait.”

“I did my waiting.”

Sirius moves his hand up, along the zip of the flight suit, until he reaches Remus’ throat: a mirror of how he touched his own, fingertips light against the skin.

Remus speaks just so Sirius can feel his voice as it’s created. “I’m sorry I took so long.”

Sirius is conservative with his words, with the humming sounds he chooses to respond with. Everything from him is a bit rough - a voice unused in too long a time. Some words he overpronounces. Forgotten how they feel on his tongue, Remus guesses.

The hand on his throat stretches out, fingers splayed until they span the width of it, then slip around and into his hair. Sirius watches as if he isn’t the one doing it. As if it’s something that just happened, that was always going to happen. Inevitable. Written into the atoms that make up the both of them, aeons ago when they were still stardust caught in nebulae, strewn across the cosmos. Cyclically, with each universe beginning and each one ending, coming back to this moment - to this first touch.

Delicately, because Sirius should always be touched delicately, Remus takes hold of his wrist. Sirius’ breath hitches, then stops. It's divinity to touch him. 

Remus makes it gentle. Makes it safe. If he’s the first in twelve years to place marks of fingerprints on Sirius’ body, then he’ll make himself into something worth it.

It’s a wonder how seamless everything is. As if it isn’t new. Remus knows Sirius is going to kiss him before he does. There is no change in his demeanour but there is a shift in the silence, something else stirred through the determination. 

And then Sirius does. And Remus finds his home on Proxima Centauri.

It’s odd, that he didn’t realise a part of him was missing until he found it, but it’s so clear now, with Sirius’ lips against his own. There was a hole inside of him and now, with each second he is allowed this, each second he’s given this, that hole is filled.

Sirius is slow about it. Patient. If nothing else he must have learnt patience, surviving like this. Remus keeps it like this: soft touches as their lips come apart and come together. Warm, where Sirius is warm, the only source of heat on the surface of this cold planet, the only source of life.

Sirius leads him toward the compound and it’s like stepping into the ocean - the water welcoming its long-forgotten counterpart.

They walk through the corridor, past the Mess, past the Aeroponics Bay. There are more spaces there - Engineering and Storage and rooms Remus pays no mind, too engrossed in the way Sirius has weaved their fingers together to pull him along.

The bedroom they enter is sparse. Utilitarian. Somewhere Sirius shouldn’t belong in and yet, through circumstance, does. Remus thinks of his home back on Earth. Comfortable bed strewn with blankets, an old wood fireplace he’s had converted into plasma. Thinks of Sirius in his kitchen or on his little balcony or in his bed.

Then Sirius reaches for the zip of his flight suit, and Remus thinks of nothing at all.

“Don’t touch me softly,” Sirius asks when Remus runs careful fingers up his arms. “Touch me like you’re here.”

So he does: tightens his hold, puts his hand into Sirius’ hair, down the sharp bones of his face, across the harshness of his beard. Sirius’ eyes flutter open and shut, once, twice - on the third they’re red-rimmed and wet.

“I’m here.”

They kiss again and it’s harder this time. Purposeful. Remus walks them forward until the backs of Sirius’ knees hit the bed and he collapses onto it, still held as he wants to be held.

There are tattoos down Sirius’ sternum. Remus discovers them with his mouth as he pushes the soft shirt up and off and out of the way.

This is the first one: a soft, quiet whimper, laced with the tears that finally spill. It sounds both like pleasure and like pain. Remus coaxes more of them out of Sirius’ throat as he mouths across it. Feels the trembling under his skin as his body remembers how to make these sounds. Feels the skin heat as it remembers why. 

“I found you,” he says into Sirius’ ribs. “I knew you’d be here.”

Sirius doesn’t reciprocate. He lays stretched out on the bed; hands twisted into the pillow, one a fist he bites into. “Don’t hide,” Remus tells him, “let me hear you.”

“I don’t know how.”

“It’s alright. We'll find it.”

He licks down Sirius’ hipbone and the sound comes again. Louder, needier. More like a moan. He does it again, and again. Encore. One more time. For me, once more. Then: harder and Remus obliges, bites to bruise.

There is no teasing. There are hands in hair, pulling, and mouths tasting and then please Sirius says - please, the word that brought them together. 

Remus doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to resist giving in when Sirius asks like that. He pulls one of Sirius’ legs up, wraps it around himself to spread him open. Licks his own fingers until they’re soaked. Kisses Sirius through the first touches, apologetic. Forgive me for the pain. Sirius grabs at his shoulders, nails digging into the skin. He’s so impossibly tight, so wonderfully warm, and Remus knows when it turns from hurt and discomfort into something better. Sirius’ face doesn’t relax, but contorts into pleasure.

“I’ve forgotten,” he says in halted breaths.

Remus fucks him with two fingers, slow but hard. Kisses each moan straight from his mouth. Sirius clings onto him through it. “Please, Remus, more,” he uses the name for the first time. 

(Better than silence, the sound of the name ripped out of him mid-moan.)

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Remus doubles his efforts to make just his fingers good enough. They have nothing to help with the stretch.

“It won’t hurt,” Sirius uses the leg thrown over Remus’ hip to bring him closer. “Let me feel you. Let me have you.”

“You have me,” Remus tells him and means it in so many ways, “whatever happens here now, you have me.”

Something softens in Sirius’ expression. He pulls Remus in, fingers splayed across his jaw. Kisses him so slowly. The contrast - fingers hard where they bring Sirius pleasure but his lips soft and yielding and pliant - the contrast is almost enough to send Remus towards his own edge.

He’s not prepared when Sirius surges up and reverses them. Pushes Remus to the bed and straddles him. Rids them both of what clothes they have left on. Then, hand on Remus’ cock, his face turns mischievous and that? That is the look that suits him better than any other. “You’re so hard for me already,” he purrs. “I want to feel you everywhere, inside of me and outside.”

And who is Remus to deny him? No one. He’s no one, but a vessel for the things he feels for the man above him. Before he was empty and now, here, he’s overflowing.

I think I love you, he wants to say as Sirius lathers him up in spit. I think the stars have sent me you. 

The moment you laid eyes on me was the moment my existence began.

Sirius is careful about it, but inch by torturous inch he lowers himself down Remus’ cock. He’s warmer than the double suns keeping the planet alive. Remus could stay like this, surrounded by him, until the permaday ends.

And then Sirius sits. Arse flush to Remus’ hips. Throws his head back in pleasure, mouth agape and eyes closed as he feels it out.

“That’s it,” Remus tells him, voice tight and hands splayed on Sirius’ hips, grounding them both. “Take your time.”

Sirius, a contrarian, starts to move almost immediately. Minute rocks back and forth. Remus feels it as static electricity in his veins. He brings Sirius down, until he lays down on Remus and their lips can meet again, and Remus can bend his knees and drive himself further into Sirius, use the grip on his hips to bring him down closer on each thrust.

It’s maddening. Unlike anything. That he found it here could be proof of a higher power, had Remus not flown across the known galaxy. He always knew there was no space for such things in the sky. (He didn’t realise they were hiding here.)

Their movements grow erratic. The tears in Sirius’ eyes return and Remus wipes them off with his thumb. This gesture he allows himself to be soft, and Sirius turns his face into the palm of Remus’ hand, welcoming it.

“I’m so close,” Sirius says. The way he clenches over Remus a giveaway. Maybe a reward, but Remus doesn’t think he’s done anything in this life worthy of such a thing. 

Remus takes Sirius’ cock in hand, keeps his thrusts deep and steady. “That’s it,” he says, “come for me.”

Sirius moans into Remus’ mouth, loud and unashamed and this, this right there, is what makes Remus cum.

There is an eternity contained in the time they cling to one another. Remus runs his fingers up and down the lovely curve of Sirius’ back. All the ways left to discover you, he thinks, tracing vertebrae. All the time we’ll have, now we found each other.

***

In the two weeks they take to get back to Earth, silence becomes a thing of the past. Remus reminds Sirius what it’s like to be touched, and in return Sirius rewrites each sensation for him like it’s brand new. 

“Stay with me,” Remus asks before they land, and:

“Always,” Sirius replies. 

[interstellarlyinlove]

Supernatural (July 13th)

tw: death

word count: 391

@wolfstarmicrofic

“I’m sorry,” they both say at the same time. 

“What the hell are you apologizing for?” Remus asks, feeling a little delirious. Then, “I’m sorry I missed your funeral.”

Sirius, ghost Sirius, smiles. “You didn’t miss my funeral.”

“But I left way too early because it felt like the world was closing in on– Sirius. Sirius. I miss you.” Remus’ voice breaks. “I should have–”

“It’s okay, Remus,” Sirius says, still smiling. Remus is sitting on the edge of Sirius’ bed at Grimmauld Place and Sirius is floating in the corner comforting him even though he’s not the one that died and it’s all twenty different flavors of wrong. “I have always wanted to die before you do.”

“You fucking cunt,” Remus says, laughing and crying and maybe ghost Sirius isn’t exactly the Sirius he knows but he doesn’t think he’s actually breathed at all in the last week, and now he feels like he’s finally catching his breath. “I don’t think you dying has sunk in yet. Not even a little. You were so damn constant in my life for so long, even when you were locked away, and I don’t really know what to do with myself now that you’re not here.”

“I’m sorry, Remus.”

“Will you stop saying that?” Remus says, his voice louder than he intended. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”

“I wish I knew how to act or what to say,” Sirius says. “I’m still me, I think, but everything is so diluted that it doesn’t feel real or seem to matter. I didn’t know what to do or where to go but the only thing I could think of was coming to see you. I realize now how cruel I’m being.”

Remus shakes his head. “Not cruel. This is kind, Sirius. You don’t even know how kind this is.”

“I’m sorry.”

Remus sobs. “So am I, my love.” He wipes his face and clears his throat. “Talk to me, please. Anything. Tell me what it feels like.”

Sirius, ghost Sirius, nods and starts speaking. He may not look or feel or walk like Remus’ Sirius but he does talk the same. Remus must have dozed off and when he wakes up, he expects Sirius, his Sirius, to be right next to him. But Remus is alone, and Sirius is dead, and nothing matters anymore.  

[cressthebest]

Crimsons Rivers thoughts pt. 36

chapter 55:

1. kingsley is mad at lily and i GET IT i understand. but all those people are adults and CHOSE to go on the mission. it is not solely her fault

2. NOOOO!! sybil is so dear to me!! and kingsley broke up with her!!! no!!!!

3. god, i feel so bad for euphemia and fleamont. yeah victors were saved. but their children, their two children, were the only ones not brought back home. i don’t know how i would recover

4. “there was Narcissa, who wasn't just in the hunger games; no, she played the game, and she played it well, so well that Euphemia never doubted she would win.” yo that’s fucking terrifying. i-

5. andy and narcissa reuniting has me crying so hard. their sisterhood is so important to me

6. regulus doesn’t have sirius, so all he wants is james to comfort him. i- i can’t do this

7. “It's like this, that he turns to her, and Euphemia knows immediately, just that simply, that Sirius isn't here.

He isn't, because if he was, that's who Regulus would cling to; that's the only person he ever wanted to cling to.”

okay, um, simply stabbing my heart would have been easier

8. “They all knew only one could make it out, and Sirius wasn't going to be the one who did, except more than one has, and Sirius is the only one who didn't.” 😧😧😧

9. god i love dorcas. she is not lying to anyone they saved by saying there will be comforts, but she is saying they will be safe and everyone there will be kind. i love her so much

10. dorcas caring for marlene first >>>>>>>>>

11. LILY AND REMUS REUNITED!!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! THEYRE REUNITED!!!!

12. oh shit. wait. that was too soon. before the lily and remus reunion, he hears her say that the absolute love of his life is probably dead

13. remus’ breakdown has me in shock. like i’m not even in tears anymore, i’m just shocked. i- this hurts too bad to even cry

14. “Lily does not know much, she doesn't know what Sirius was to Remus, but she does know for sure now that he was something.

Maybe, as much as she dreads to think it, he was everything.”

😀😀😀 you can’t write lines like that. that feels illegal, to mess with my emotions like that

15. i want someone to care for me the way dorcas cares for marlene. she starts a war early to save her life. she’s willing to kill anyone to keep her alive. she will do anything.

16. “"Perhaps if you had considered the impact of the lives you planned to shape into martyrs, you would have realized that this could happen, and would be no one's fault but your own. You put those people in the arena this year, Albus, didn't you tell me that? All the ready opposition to Riddle, and you couldn't foresee this? Opposition to you?"”

get his ass alberforth. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

17. “In all his years, Aberforth has never seen a loyalty and love exist as the loyalty and love between those two boys do.”

this is so sweet if it weren’t for the context of the statement

18. 😀😀😀 wow i hate albus

19. “They are at their best together when they are showing their worst to one another and basking in the relief of being next to someone they know won't really care, or have an opinion on it, or judge them.”

regulus and remus’ friendship >>>>>>>

20. as reg is literally beating lily up he’s like “i love her! she’s amazing! she’s my savior!! 😊😊 that’s why i must try to kill her!!!

21. “It was supposed to be me and you, but Sirius is gone. Come back to me, baby, Regulus thinks, but James is gone.” 😀😀 what a fantastic start to my day

22. lily should have had a gun in canon. this au only further proves that to me. the war would be so short is lily evans was given a gun and told to just go off and do what she wanted with it.

23. zar gave marylily hints in the authors notes ??? 👀👀 marylily??? 👀👀 marylily endgame?? 👀👀🌸🍓🎉

24. authors notes: “lily lily lily my beloved <3 she really was about to blow albus' skull open, soooo sexy of her 🥰” AGREED

25. also there’s 420 comments on that chapter and i don’t want to fuck with that number.

[bayside-beds]

‘I love you’

Okay, so we all know Elizabeth’s version right?

For those who don’t in her version Sirius doesn’t like when people say ‘I love you’ because his mother used to say it to him creating his negative association and miss trust of the words. Remus knows this so when they get together he doesn’t say anything, but Sirius start to realize why people say it.

Anyway, this is how I picture wolfstar saying ‘I love you’ in their own way

They had just finished their last exam ever. Sirius had waited years for this moment, but with the impending sense of fear looming over their graduation, he wished he could hold onto time in school just a bit longer.

It was far past curfew, but when had that ever stopped him before? He at Remus sat quietly next to each other, feet dangling over the side of the astronomy tower.

“What are you thinking about” Remus asked, keeping his focus somewhere out in the distance. He didn’t even have to look at Sirius to tell something was off about him.

He’d stated noticing that recently. That Remus always knew when it came to him, and that didn’t scare him anymore. The thought that someone could get so close to him, that they could know every deep dark secret that he kept locked inside, terrified him.

But Sirius had never been scared of Remus. But still, a small part of him held back the three words that haunted his past, knowing they were inevitable in his future every time he looked at Remus. And yet, he still couldn’t say it.

Sirius wanted to, he truly did. But Remus understood, Sirius knew he did, which made him want to say it more. Without thinking, for once, Sirius said it in the only other way he knew how,

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”

Remus’ head snapped from where it had been looking out in the distance to Sirius, and he knew that Remus had understood.

Because of course he had. Remus understood him in everywhere. He knew every answer. And more often than not, when it came to Sirius’ problems, he was the answer.

And while Sirius did find the moon beautiful, because it reminded him everyday of Remus, that wasn’t why he said it. They both knew it.

But if Sirius thought that the moon was beautiful, nothing compared to the sound of Remus’ slightly shaking voice when he responded.

“I can die happy,” he said.

Remus turned inwards, grabbing one of Sirius’ hands. Sirius hadn’t realized he started crying until Remus was gently brushing away his tears.

They turned back out, facing the rest of the world and it’s many possibilities together. Hands still clasped together. Heads resting against each other. They didn’t need to say anything else. They both knew.

They didn’t need to say ‘I love you’ for it to be real. They only needed each other.

[seriouslysam8]

Okay, don’t hate me but I used to hate Harry. I always found him annoying and thought he was way too impulsive and hot headed, but after reading Alew… I get it. I never thought how hard it would be for a 15 month old to see someone kill his mother and try to kill him and get thrown into household that hated his existence, but I get it. I get why he was so impulsive, I get why he was so hot headed, I get why he didn’t trust adults. Reading about how he’s behaving towards Blackinnon was tugging on my heart strings and I can’t believe a kid that was that traumatized was locked up for years and treated like a slave. I never thought of it from that pov. I had a hard time relating to Harry because I grew up privileged with lots of love so I didn’t understand his decisions, but I get it now. I don’t know if that’s what you intended with this story, but thanks for opening my eyes. I’m impartial to Ginny and I’m actually really looking forward to seeing if you can change my mind on Hinny. I have to admit I’m a huge Romione fan and I came across your story because of someone ranting about you hating Hermione on a Reddit post and curiosity got the best of me and I’m so glad. If it helps, you got another fan off of someone bitching about you on Reddit (free publicity lol). Btw, this fan has no issues with you not liking Hermione or Romione 🫶🏻

It wasn’t my intention to convert Harry haters with this story. I really just wanted to give my boy the childhood he deserved to have.

I don’t know how long you’ve been lurking here, but I grew up with a narcissist mother and an absent father. Love was earned through saying, doing, and thinking the right things. It was a lot of emotional abuse and manipulation. I gravitate towards characters who had less than stellar upbringings. I think Sirius is my all-time favorite because I think his canon childhood was most closely aligned with mine while I think Harry’s abuse was way worse and horrific.

But anyway, I like to write about what I know. I like to write about my experiences and what I’ve gone through. I’m married to a husband who grew up like you with no shortage of love. I laugh-cry sometimes because his mother is totally a Molly Weasley. She’s so warm and welcoming and there is no shortage of love in her heart for anyone. I don’t think that woman has a mean bone in her body. I have kids with my husband. So I really like writing the dynamics of Hinny and Blackinnon where one is so unsure as a parent because of their upbringing and the other is so confident because they had a fantastic upbringing. It’s what I know, you know?

I had someone comment that Sirius seems like a boring dad in Alew. I think as someone who had to work for the love and acceptance of his parents for the longest time until he reached the point he didn’t care anymore (but secretly did care because what was wrong with him that love for him was even conditional in the first place) is struggling being thrust into this father position. He loves Harry to death. He wants to be the best father he can be. He would die a thousand deaths for this kid. But he’s so unsure of how to do the small things like playing because it wasn’t like his parents ever got to his level and played with him. He’s learning as he goes. Meanwhile, Marlene grew up loved and her parents played with her and she was allowed to be a person. So her nurturing and playful side comes easier with Harry than it does with Sirius. It’s really these little nuances I like to think about and write about.

Because of the prophecy, Harry was sheltered. I do think in canon he was locked up in Godric’s Hollow and only had contact with a select few people. So I think from a very young age, he had apprehension around strangers or people not around him often. This is highlighted in Alpenglow where Remus tries to tend to Harry while Sirius comforts Marlene. Harry doesn’t know Remus well enough to be alone with him. He’s sobbing and clinging to Sirius. Sirius, naturally, snaps at Remus and buckles down on how he can take care of both Harry and Marlene which ensues a fight between them.

In Alew, Harry is meeting so many new people in so many new places. He’s a shell of the kid he once was. I wanted to write at least those two one-shots of what Harry was like before Halloween (Alpenglow and Redamancy). He was a happy, cuddly, playful child. As much as Sirius is learning the nuances of being the best father he can be, Harry is also learning how cruel the world can truly be as he’s exposed to more and more. While Harry is loved and happy with Blackinnon, he misses his parents and has nightmares about Halloween and is more reserved than he once was. I often think about how none of that would ever go away or get better if he was the Dursleys. There would be no healing. But with Blackinnon, he had the opportunity to heal and grieve and cling to the two people he knows best after his parents.

I like to think about how this Harry would be different than canon Harry. How would a Harry who was loved and grew up with loving parents be versus an abused and neglected Harry at the Dursleys. It completely fascinates me. Because Harry wouldn’t have hesitated to tell his godparents about the three-headed dog or suspecting Snape jinxing his broom. He would have told them all about the Chamber of Secrets and hearing the basilisk and the kids being petrified. They would be highly involved and not dismissing Harry. So how would things turn out different?? It’s all so fascinating as I go back and forth on how I want things to play out later in the series.

While I love me stay-at-home dad Sirius, I could totally see him wanting to be on the board of governors once Harry starts school and being highly involved with Hogwarts because he’s highly protective of the people he loves. Obtaining Sirius’ love is hard. But once you wrestle your way through his defenses, he loves fiercely and he’d die for you.

Anyway, I think I digressed. I am long-winded. But I do hope to change your mind about Ginny as well as Hinny. They are ultimately my OTP. I love their dynamics and how well they fit together. I personally find Ginny hilarious and I love writing the Weasley family dynamics.

As for how you discovered me, I know exactly who was talking about me on Reddit. They’ve done so a lot in the past and have attacked other Hinny writers as well. I find it very ironic that I can’t say anything negative about Hermione but they can openly bash Ginny. Honestly, I didn’t hate Hermione before. She wasn’t my favorite character and I always kind of had her lingering in the background. If you read the Moments in Time series, you can see that. She’s there but not a major focal point. There is background Romione because that is my canon-light universe (I say canon-light because Hinny raises Teddy and Ron never quits the Aurors so there’s a few minor canon changes). Nobody would have guessed I disliked Hermione in those stories.

But people like the one who ranted about me on Reddit really made me hate her character. I would get annoyed because multiple people wanted Hermione more involved in the MIT series. They wanted her to be perfect and solve all the issues and be utilized more. I didn’t want to do that. I liked Harry and Ron being besties and solving crimes together and being the ones to solve the problems for once. I am a massive Ron fan, just FYI. It got to a point where I just killed her off in the last story of the MIT series in a now-deleted story because I couldn’t take all the chatter surrounding her character because I never set out to write a story or series about Hermione.

But I know this person says I bash Hermione in my writing. I really don’t. I think bashing is lazy writing. I do, however, tells stories through multiple POVs. Their feelings towards other characters shines through. I always write a very contentious relationship between Sirius and Dumbledore until they can find their common ground and work together. I’ve been told I’ve bashed Dumbledore in my stories before. But really, I haven’t. I like a nice gray Dumbledore. But through Sirius’ eyes, he is critical and there is little love. Meanwhile, in the same chapter, you’ll have Remus singing Dumbledore’s praises because there is already established respect there. In my now-deleted story, Romione was getting a divorce because they grew apart. Ginny was critical of Hermione and siding with her brother (obviously) when the divorce was announced. In the same POV, Ron defends Hermione because that’s the mother of his children. So, I do write realistic relationships where not everyone gets along and not every character likes every other character. But I don’t really consider this bashing. I find it refreshing when characters have different thoughts and feelings and are unique.

So when I started the Petrichor series, I planned to ease Hermione out of the story. Essentially, Sirius doesn’t die in the DOM nor do Harry and co even go to the DOM because he is reminded of the mirror by Ginny. So Harry is bitter towards Hermione trying to get him to stop leaving to save Sirius (his only family left) even though she’s right. He doesn’t want to be told I told you so. He keeps his distance. Then, that summer, Hermione never goes to stay with them because of a failed attack on Grimmauld. So when they reunite in September at school and Hermione is weary of Marlene being back with an altered memory, Harry doesn’t want to hear it. He’s stubborn because he feels like he’s finally found a family and doesn’t want to hear Hermione’s concerns. Even if they’re valid. They have a POA-style fight where they are distant. Meanwhile, in the same story, Ginny doesn’t have the best relationship with Marlene. There’s some distrust and space between them that’s hard to fill. But Ginny never tells Harry about any of it. She just tries to move on because she knows that relationship is important to Harry. So there is a stark contrast between the two girls and how they handle things with Harry. Ginny understands Harry in a way Hermione doesn’t.

In the Synodic series, Hermione isn’t going to befriend Harry and Ron at Hogwarts. Because I don’t feel like writing her anymore. But I’m not going to go out of my way to bash her. I don’t care enough about her to bash her.

Anyway, I know I went off on some tangents but that’s what I do here. I’m glad rants about me made you intrigued enough to see what my writing is actually all about. I am glad his attempts to make me leave the fandom have fallen on deaf ears. I hope you stick around and have some fun. If not, that’s okay too.

[oh-my-wolfstar]

Taylor Swift Wolfstar songs day 46

today is anger. Our song is exile from folklore, dual POV of Remus and Sirius as they split apart after realizing they each suspected each other of being a spy.

And it took you five whole minutes

To pack us up and leave me with it

Holdin' all this love out here in the hall

It took all of five minuets for Sirius to leave, all of five minutes for him to give up on what they had spent the last ten years of their lives building. For him to leave Remus with only memories of their past.

Second, third, and hundredth chances

Balancin' on breaking branches

Those eyes add insult to injury

Sirius resents it, all the ways he knows that Remus had given him a second chance. But not this time, not this time because Sirius didn’t do anything. They’ve always been only a couple steps from a ledge, and the way Remus looks at Sirius, a Mix of heart, betrayal, and uncertainty, makes Sirius want to jump.

I think I've seen this film before

And I didn't like the ending

I'm not your problem anymore

So who am I offending now?

You were my crown

Now I'm in exile, seein' you out

Remus knows how this will end, and he doesn’t like it. And now that Sirius is gone Remus doesn’t care what people think. He doesn’t care about not getting to close to the werewolves because Sirius isn’t here to give him that look, the one that says he’s edging on dangerous territory. The one that says Sirius doesn’t trust him anymore. But who is he offending now, Sirius and his precious reputation are gone. Because Sirius was everything to Remus, and knowing he didn’t trust him makes him want to lock everyone out.

So step right out, there is no amount

Of crying I can do for you

All this time

We always walked a very thin line

You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out)

And Sirius is watching Remus step back, watching him stop fighting for them. Because Sirius knows that there is no amount of crying can make Remus want him back, nothing that can make him listen. The whole war they’ve been treading on thin ice, but this time Remus didn’t even listen to Sirius. Didn’t give him a chance to prove that he wasn’t his last name.

All this time

I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind)

I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around)

'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

So many signs, so many signs

You didn't even see the signs

In all the time they’ve been together Remus never felt like he truly knew Sirius, he could never read his mind. And he couldn’t fix the gap between them, no matter how hard he tried. Sirius never gave Remus any signs that he would leave the moment the trust wavered; except he gave so many signs. There were so many signs that their trust was breaking, so many signs Remus never saw.

I think I've seen this film before

And I didn't like the ending

You're not my homeland anymore

So what am I defending now?

You were my town

Now I'm in exile, seein' you out

I think I've seen this film before

So I'm leavin' out the side door

Sirius and Remus know that this is how it ends, even if they hate it. Even if it makes them want to set the world on fire and watch it burn. And they were everything to each other, what do they have now that they know they never trusted each other not to be spies. And now they’re alone, watching the other fade away. And they’re ending before they have to face the final blow

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Saved

Prompt: Hello! I very much enjoy all of your Sanders Sides fics. I am a Roman Stan first and foremost and you do his angst a delicious service. 

I was wondering, (if you have the time &/or energy) if you would be for writing a Roman, who instead of just turning into a small child (I love that fic btw), he (they) also turn into a girl. Because in Roman's sweet mind, Princes (and Princesses) save the day but only princesses get saved from the big bad in the end. (Not exactly but unfortunately there's more evidence for than against.) So, when Roman feels overwhelmed and upset and horrid, welcome the little princess, except no one knows because how silly, how selfish, how childish to turn into a little girl because that's the only way you think anyone will hold you and protect you and save you, even from yourself? 

If you like the idea, could you maybe include C!Thomas who keeps seeing her out of the corner of his eye and freaking out because why is there a small child in his house?! 

Thanks!

Hope you're having a great November! - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: sad roman hours, but that's about it

Pairings: gen

Word Count: 3842

It isn’t uncommon for some of the Imagination’s creations to get loose in the rest of the Mindscape, so when Thomas catches sight of a little girl in a sparkly dress near the window, he doesn’t pay her much mind. 

At least at first. But then she keeps showing up, and no one seems to be able to understand why. Remus says as long as they bring her back to the Imagination, everything should be fine, but then why does she keep appearing?

And where is Roman?

It isn’t uncommon for some of the Imagination’s creations to get loose in the rest of the Mindscape, so when Thomas catches sight of a little girl in a sparkly dress near the window, he doesn’t pay her much mind. Odds are she’s simply wandered a bit far away from the door on accident and Roman or Remus will be along to fetch her any moment. 

But then he takes another step closer and she startles terribly, almost falling over. Her eyes go wide and she brings her hands up to shield herself. 

“Hey, whoa, I’m sorry,” Thomas says quickly, crouching down, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m not gonna hurt you, see? I’m just over here.”

The little girl lowers her hands slowly, eyeing him warily as she presses herself against the wall. 

“See?” He waves. “It’s only me. I’m just a—well, I’m just a person. I’m not gonna hurt you.”

When she doesn’t seem to move anymore, he sits, crossing his legs. 

“Are you lost?” She glances at the window. “Did you want to look outside?”

“Mhm.”

“Are your parents anywhere nearby? Do you know?”

“They’re not here.”

“Okay. Do you need help finding them?”

“No.”

This isn’t getting them anywhere. Thomas glances over his shoulder. Where are the twins?

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, don’t cry,” he says when he looks back to see her eyes welling up with tears, “it’s okay, I—um, oh, god, I’m not good at this.”

Patton. Patton’s good at this. Let’s get Patton here. 

“Thomas? What’s going on, I heard—oh, hey.”

Thank God. Patton’s voice softens immediately upon seeing the crying child and he’s crouching down too, holding his arms out. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he murmurs, “are you okay? Are you scared?”

The little girl nods, still tucked against the wall. Patton makes a sympathetic noise. 

“Do you need help, sweetheart? Can you tell us what’s going on?”

“’M scared.”

“I’m sorry you’re scared. Do you want a hug?”

The little girl scrambles up and into his arms, letting him scoop her into a cuddle and tuck her head under his chin. He lets out more soothing noises as he rubs her back, rocking her slightly back and forth. 

“What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“R-Rose.”

“Rose? That’s a very pretty name,” he says, pulling back to wipe the tears from her cheeks, “just like your dress. That’s a very sparkly dress, sweetheart, I like it a lot.”

Watery giggles clear the rest of the tears from her eyes as Patton picks her up. 

“Did you get lost, sweetheart? Do you need to go back to the Imagination?”

Rose nods, fingers curling shyly into Patton’s shirt. 

“Can I carry you there? Yeah? Okay, let’s go.”

Rose looks over Patton’s shoulder at Thomas as they walk off. Thomas waves and she waves back. 

Huh.

2.

When Thomas sees the little girl by the window again, he coughs before he gets too close. 

“Rose, right?”

“Yeah.” She shifts a bit, adjusts her sparkly dress before looking at the window. “‘M Rose.”

“Are you lost again?”

“No. I like looking out the window.”

“Can I come sit with you?”

“Uh-huh.”

Thomas sits next to her, catching sight of a crown sitting next to her that he doesn’t remember seeing before. “Is that yours?”

“The crown? Mhm, ’s mine.”

“Are you a princess?”

Rose glances at him, then back out the window. “I guess.”

He frowns. “Do you…does that make you sad? Being a princess?”

“Why does the sky do that?”

“Huh?” He looks out the window. “Do what?”

“Change colors like that when the sun goes down.” Rose points at the reds and yellows at the horizon, moving her fingers slowly up to the darkening sky. “Why do they do that?”

“Well, it’s because—uh, actually, let’s ask one of my friends.”

“Thomas?” Logan rises up behind them. “You called?”

“Can you explain why the sky changes colors when the sun sets? Rose is curious.”

It’s a wonderful thing, he decides, to watch Logan’s eyes brighten at the thought of teaching someone something new. 

“Well,” he says, taking a seat next to them, “light from the sun is made up of many different colors. All the colors of the rainbow.”

“Is that why rainbows happen when it rains?”

“Yes. The water from the rain acts as a prism, which is something that splits light into all its different colors.”

“But how does it tell the colors apart?”

“Every color of the rainbow has a different wavelength, do you know what that means?” Logan holds out his hand and produces a slinky. “Here, take one end of this.”

Rose takes the slinky and Logan stretches it out, explaining what wavelengths are by wiggling one end of the slinky up and down so it makes a wave. 

“So all of light has a wavelength?”

“Each color has its own wavelength, that’s right. When they have to travel through something, the wavelengths can get split up. That’s why rainbows form.”

“But it’s not traveling through anything when the sun sets, it’s just going through the sky.”

“What’s the sky made of?”

Rose frowns. “Nothing?”

“Not quite. It’s made up of air, lots of air molecules.” Logan lifts his hand and taps different points on the window. “And so when the light hits all the different molecules, it scatters.”

“Like a pinball machine?” 

Logan chuckles. “Yes, Rose, like a pinball machine. And when that happens during the day, the blue and green light scatters the most because their wavelength is the shortest.”

“Is that why the sky’s blue?”

“Yes, that’s right.” Logan points at the sun disappearing below the horizon. “And so when the sun goes down, all the blue and green light goes away very quickly, which means that we see the red and yellow light.”

Rose looks out the window again, tracing the path Logan drew with his fingers. “So red takes the longest?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

Rose grows quiet, leaning against Logan’s shoulder. He glances at Thomas—who’s just been sitting here, dude—and sighs, resigning himself to being a pillow for a while. It’s not that bad when you get used to it. 

“You’re falling asleep, Rose,” he points out softly when the sky’s darkened fully, “shall we take you back to the Imagination?”

Rose mumbles sleepily but lets Logan pick her up and carry her off, waving at Thomas again. Thomas waves back, glancing out the window as they leave. 

Logan’s explanation means that all the other colors are always there, they’re just never seen until the sun goes down. He’s not quite sure how he feels about that. 

Or why Rose seemed to care so much. 

3.

He doesn’t see Rose for a while, not until the next big thunderstorm.

He walks past the window to see one of the curtains trembling and he sighs, already reaching out for Virgil. 

“Hey, Thomas, what’s up?”

Thomas nods to the shaking curtain. “I think one of the Imagination’s people is here. Her name’s Rose, she’s a princess, I think she’s scared.”

Virgil glances over and bites back a curse. “Have you been able to get ahold of Roman or Remus?”

“You’re the best at dealing with scared people.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I…can’t tell if that was sincere or not.”

“Yeah, neither can I.” Virgil crouches down near the bundle of fabric, voice gentling to a low rumble. “Hey, Princess, you in there?”

A soft squeak. 

“It’s okay, Princess, I’m not gonna hurt you. My name’s Virgil, what’s your name?”

“R-Rose.”

“Hi, Rose, it’s nice to meet you. Hey, hey,” he murmurs when another crash of thunder makes her squeak, “it’s okay, Princess, you just listen to me, okay? I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

“O-okay.”

“I’ve never met a princess before,” he says softly, “I think that’s really neat.”

“You do?”

“Oh, yeah. Princesses are…real cool.” He makes a face that makes Thomas bite back a laugh. “I like all their stories. There are so many stories about princesses, they’re all people can talk about. I think they’re super interesting.”

A little head peeks out from under the curtain. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, Princess. Do you have a favorite princess story?”

“…Cinderella.”

“‘Cinderella?’ That’s a good one, I like that one too. I like hearing about all the magic where the pumpkin gets turned into a chariot.”

“…I like the end.”

“The end?” Bit by bit, Virgil coaxes Rose out of the curtain and into the lea of him where she doesn’t have to see the storm. “What about the ending’s your favorite?”

“She gets saved,” Rose says, toying with her dress that looks a bit less sparkly in the stormy light, “an’—an’ that’s okay.”

“It’s okay that she gets saved?” Rose nods. “Why’s that your favorite bit?”

Rose opens her mouth to answer when there’s another flash. She squeaks, lunging forward to wrap her arms around Virgil. 

“Whoa, whoa, hey, shh, Princess, it’s okay, I gotcha. You’re doing great.” He rubs her back. “Why don’t you finish what you were telling me about Cinderella?”

But Rose isn’t talking anymore, quivering like a leaf in Virgil’s arms. He rocks her back and forth in his lap, shooting concerned glances at Thomas who has just accepted he’s going to be mostly useless right now. 

“Hey,” he tries again, “let’s get you back home, okay? I’m sure there’s a lot of people there that’d be willing to help you. Is that okay? It’s probably not storming there either.”

Rose sniffles as Virgil slowly stands up, carrying her off down the hall. As they pass Thomas, Rose reaches out and clutches the fabric of his shirt for a moment. He awkwardly pats her hand and she lets go. 

He glances out the window before drawing the curtains, wondering what she could’ve meant by it’s okay that she’s saved.

4.

When he gets to the window again, he is expecting to see Rose. 

He is not expecting to see Janus already there, sprawled out in the sunlight and a nervous little princess a few feet away. 

“Well,” Janus hisses, drawing himself up, “what have we here? A little morsel, wandered too far from home?”

Part of Thomas wants to step forward, tell Janus to knock it off, not to scare her, but Rose doesn’t seem all that scared. So he hovers in the hallway, ready to step in if he has to. 

“Foolish little princess,” Janus hisses, doing his very best impression of a Disney villain, “don’t you know it’s dangerous to explore on your own?”

“I’ve been here before,” Rose says, crossing her arms and stamping her foot, “and you’ve never been here.”

“Mm, or have I?” Janus moves a bit closer, arms reaching out for her. “Maybe I’ve been here the whole time and you just haven’t seen me.”

“N-no, I would notice you.”

“Would you?”

“Yes,” she says, firmer this time, “I would notice you. You’re big and yellow and black and I would see you.”

Janus chuckles. “Clever little princess. Tell me, what brings you all the way out here?”

“I sit here. I like to look out of the window.”

“Oh? And what do you do? Survey your kingdom?”

“This isn’t my kingdom.”

“No?” Janus curls up lazily, still inching towards her. “Then where is your kingdom? How can you be a princess without a kingdom?”

“I have one,” Rose insists, “it just isn’t here.”

“Mm. It’s trouble for a princess to leave her kingdom without a knight or a guard,” Janus says, kneeling up to loom over her a bit. “Who knows what could happen, especially when she wanders into a snake’s den?”

“Why did you come here?”

“For the sunlight, little princess, and for you.”

Rose squeals as he playfully wraps his arms around her—no, Thomas doesn’t understand why he has six arms if he’s a snake—and pulls her into his lap. “Why do you want sunlight?”

“Snakes are cold, little princess, and sunlight is so warm.” He hisses gently in her ear to make her giggle. “And so are you. Snakes steal heat, little princess, maybe I should steal some from you.”

“N-no,” she giggles, “it’s my heat, you can’t take it! It’s mine!”

“Oh, but I can, little princess, I can steal your heat from you right now.”

Thomas watches somewhat spellbound as Janus gently tickles Rose until she’s laughing properly, all fear gone as they sit together in the sunlight. When she bats at his hands he stops, cuddling her to his chest and sighing contentedly. 

“Thank you for your heat, little princess,” he murmurs, kissing her cheek, “see? It’s not so bad.”

Rose lets out a squeaky little yawn and curls up, letting him hold her. 

“Why don’t we have a nap,” he suggests, adjusting his position to lean against the wall, still in the sunlight, “hmm? Will you nap in the sunlight with me?”

“Mhm.”

“That’s a good little princess.”

When Rose is asleep, little snores filling the hallway, Janus glances over at Thomas who shrugs. 

“How long has she been…coming here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do the twins know?”

Thomas frowns. “You know what? I don’t actually think I’ve seen them since she started showing up.”

Janus hums. “That’s not ideal. I’ve spoken to Remus recently, I’ll ask him what he knows.”

Rose stirs in his lap and they quiet, waiting until she falls back asleep. 

“You got her?”

“Yes. I’ll bring her back to the Imagination when she wakes.”

5.

“Will you read with me?”

Thomas blinks in surprise when Rose holds out a book. He takes it carefully and sits down, opening it and propping it on his lap so she can see. “What do you want to read?”

“Can we read the story about The Paperbag Princess?”

“Sure. Do you want to read?”

“Mhm.”

They turn to the page with the title. Rose reaches out and underlines the words with her finger as they go. They read through the first few pages before she stops. 

“How big do you think that paper bag is?”

“Well, it’s big enough for her to wear it like a dress, so pretty big.”

“Where do you get paper bags that big? What do you carry in them?”

“Maybe she got it at the store. To carry her groceries in.”

“Hm.”

They keep reading. They get to the bit about the dragon fight and Rose pauses, looking at the dragon. 

“Why did the dragon not just eat the prince? Isn’t that what they’re supposed to do?”

“Maybe this dragon’s different.”

Rose’s face pinches a little as they keep going, finally getting to the part about the prince being disappointed with what the Paperbag Princess looks like. 

“…that’s not very nice of him.”

“No, it isn’t.” Thomas shifts to ease a cramp in his leg. “I think he should’ve said thank you.”

“I think he should’ve saved himself.”

Thomas looks up at her. “What makes you say that?”

“He’s the prince. Princes aren’t supposed to need saving. Princesses are.”

Now, we don’t have time to unpack all of that… “This princess didn’t need saving, did she?”

Rose chews on her lip. “No…I guess not.”

“So maybe this prince did need saving.”

“But he’s not happy about being saved. Only princesses are ever happy about being saved. Princes don’t get saved, not like princesses do. People only like it when the prince saves himself. We’re not supposed to like when the princess saves the prince or when the prince gets saved by someone else. ‘Cause he’s always awful when he gets saved.”

Thomas looks at Rose for a long moment. Then he carefully closes the book and sets it aside, resting his hand on her shoulder. 

“What’s wrong, Rose?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re upset, I can tell. What’s going on?”

She glances at the book again. “I’m a princess. I’m supposed to be saved.”

“That’s not all princesses can do, they can save things too. Even themselves.”

“But princes don’t get saved,” she says, still frowning, “they—they don’t get protected. They’re supposed to do the protecting. That doesn’t seem fair.”

“No,” Thomas agrees, “no, I suppose not.”

Where is this going?

But Rose doesn’t say anything else, just burrows into his arms and wraps her arms around his neck. She’s silent as they sit there, not saying a word for what feels like hours. When she does finally move again, she just picks up the book and turns, walking down the hall without another word. 

Thomas stares after her and can’t help but feel like he’s missed something very important. 

+1. 

It’s the first time he’s managed to coax Rose away from the window, taking her hand and walking her downstairs to the living room where the others are gathered. Each of them waves, Patton smiling and crouching down to give her a hug. 

“Are you going to have the meeting with us too?”

“Mhm.”

“Don’t feel as though you need to say anything,” Logan assures, “we’ll be more than happy for just your company.”

“We’ll behave, Princess, promise.”

Thomas ruffles her hair as she stands next to him. “Do we know where the others are?”

“I haven’t seen Roman yet this morning, but Remus is on his way.”

Thomas opens his mouth again when Rose suddenly clutches his pant leg. “Hey, what’s going on?”

No sooner has he asked does Remus appear, grinning at all of them startling at his appearance. “What’s got you all looking like a kraken just bit your butts?”

His eyes fall on Rose and he freezes. 

“Behave, Remus,” Janus says lowly, “she’s from the Imagination. Don’t scare her.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Patton coos, “he won’t hurt you. He just looks a little scary.”

Rose cowers behind Thomas’s leg, refusing to budge even as they assure her it’s okay, Remus won’t hurt her. 

“Tell her, Remus,” Virgil says, elbowing him, “tell her you’re not gonna hurt her.”

Remus doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even move, still staring at Rose like his eyes are about to fall out of his head.

“…Ro?”

Rose peeks out at him, one eye watching as he lowers himself to the ground, snapping his fingers and changing into a uniform of some sort, still black and green but different. 

“It’s okay, Ro,” he says hoarsely, “it’s okay.”

Rose wails, tearing herself from Thomas’s side and throwing herself at Remus who catches her and pulls her into his lap, curling around her protectively. He nuzzles her hair and strokes the back of her head, letting her cry into his chest. 

The rest of them watch, thunderstruck. 

“It’s okay, Roro,” Remus keeps mumbling, “it’s okay. I gotcha, Roro, you’re okay.”

“‘Roro?’” Virgil glances at the others. “But that’s what he calls…”

The realization hits them all at the same time. 

The princess, worrying about the color red, being so scared of each of them but still coming back to the same place, who saves the prince?

Thomas looks at the little girl in Remus’s arms. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

Oh, no. 

“Roman,” he says weakly, “Rose is Roman.”

Remus glances up at them. “What happened,” he growls, still holding Roman tight to his chest, “why did this happen?”

“I don’t know,” Thomas says weakly, “she just—he just—Roman just showed up like this one day and I…none of us knew what to do.”

“Why did Roman become a princess?”

“Because princesses get saved,” Logan says, shock giving way to horrified resignation, “princesses are…protected, comforted…they’re the ones who get saved, not the princes.”

Patton makes a noise of dismay and Virgil bites back a curse. “Roman thought this was the only way we would care?”

“It was,” Janus hisses, slowly crouching too, “because we saw a princess in need of rescuing and…didn’t question it.”

Thomas crouches too, watching Remus murmur something in Roman’s ear. “Remus, can Roman…turn back?”

“I’m not sure Roman wants to turn back right now.” 

“What can we do, then?”

“Right now?” Remus looks down. “What do you need, Roro?”

Arms tighten on Remus as he pulls away and he quickly comes back, hugging Roman to his chest and standing up. 

“It’s cuddle time,” he announces, “all of you move it.”

A mattress forms in the middle of the living room and the others quickly make sure the blankets and pillows have been moved as Remus sits down, still cradling Roman in his lap. Thomas sits next to him, smiling when Roman peeks out to look at him. 

“Hey, Roman,” he murmurs, smiling when Roman looks at him a little more, “you wanna cuddle?”

Roman nods and he opens his arms, letting the little one crawl from Remus into his lap. He can feel the weight of Remus’s stare on the side of his face and he takes care to be extra gentle as he lies down, Roman on his chest. 

“Get in here, the rest of you.”

“We’re coming.”

“Remus,” he hears Logan say quietly, “can you…explain a bit more later?”

“If Roro says it’s okay.”

“Lift your head,” Patton says, slipping a pillow behind his neck, “there.”

“I’ll keep watch,” Virgil says, perching on the edge of the mattress, “for Roman’s sake.”

Remus nods approvingly, holding Roman’s hand as it reaches out for him. “Go to sleep, Roro, we can figure everything else out later.”

Thomas glances down at Roman, whose other hand has twisted shyly into his shirt. He cards his fingers through Roman’s hair. 

“You can sleep if you want,” he whispers, “you’re safe now.”

Later, when the sky is dark and the lights have long faded, Thomas wakes when the weight on his chest suddenly increases. He tries to sit up without disturbing the snores and whistles he can hear around him, looking down. 

Roman, the Roman they know, is asleep, head pillowed on his chest, hand still intertwined with Remus’s. 

Guess the prince got saved this time too. 

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti

If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

[neongreenllama]

Are you ready to start the actual german Remus Lupin playlist? Obviously some of the already established songs have to be on there, Durch den Monsun is a MUST. But might I suggest Augen zu by Kobito & Sookee for either post moon Remus vibe or berlin hipster remus vibe? What do you think?

Okay, I think I’m ready.

Love that song choice. Remus is just so damp and tired all the time.

Durch den Monsun is definitely staying.

Now, are we still on that original antifa idea? Because I guess a lot of that overlaps with Sirius’ playlist, but I suggest Hey Mr Nazi specifically for Remus. He is antifa, but I feel like he’d play nicer than Sirius.

Also Cottbus by Audio88 & Yassin, Seelentherapie by Toten Hosen, and maybe Schüsse in die Luft by Kraftklub? („Ich war niemals anti-alles, ich war immer anti-ihr / Hab schon lange angefangen mich mit Dingen zu arrangieren“) I feel like these have a tired ‘I wish other people would do something but they’re not, so I guess I have to’-vibe which is very on brand for Remus imo, but tell my yours.

Moving on from antifa songs, I am a bit surprised you didn’t know Udo Lindenberg. He’s not even a musician anymore, he’s like, culture, an idol. He fought to play a concert in the DDR and became a symbol for the Wiedervereinigung. ANYWAY history lesson over, he’s also ….. specific. You have to look at an interview or something and then tell me whether or not Remus has a crush on him. I really need to know your opinion on this.

I’m not incredibly well-versed in Udo Lindenberg, but I think he’d listen to Wieder genauso when he wants to cry (or, if you really wanna go there, in the lost years, or after Sirius dies. Which he doesn’t, but it’s in that weird AU everyone is always talking about)

And of course Hinterm Horizont for the wolfstar feels.

And Mein Ding. Idk, it’s like a hymn for Udo fans.

I also really do think he would love Falco. So I suggest we keep Egoist and Junge Römer and add Der Kommissar. No thoughts just vibes.

For Sido I agree with Löwenzahn, would like to keep Mein Block, and add Rollender Stein because if Remus can identify with something it’s running away and leaving people behind: "Wahrscheinlich ist es nicht so leicht, dis zu versteh'n / Doch ich konnte nicht mehr bleiben, es war einfacher zu geh'n / Aber niemand ist mir wichtiger als ihr vier / Mehr als ich mir selbst bedeutet ihr mir // Vielleicht weiß ich, wann die beste Zeit zu geh'n ist / Aber immer, wenn es wichtig wäre, fehl ich / Heh, ja, ich weiß, was dis Problem ist, ich schäm mich" (back with the remus bashing apparently, but you know it's true)

Also adding Liebst du mich for needy, insecure, head-over-heels-in-love-with-Sirius Remus.

The more I think about this the more important Remus loving Sido is to me.

That's all I can think of for him right now but tell me yours! (and on the tiny chance anyone else is interested in this, they are also welcome to add stuff)

[lolathestoryteller]

Apologies in advance for requesting this. I definitely didn’t think I would submit it but I needed a bit angst/feels:( (I’m cruel to myself)

Prompt:

“H happy birthday, d daddy. Me, mom and padfoot are doing ok. Uncle Remus says you are in a happy place. But I still wish I could hug you.”

“Ohhh Harry love, *sniff* I’m sure james would’ve wanted that too”

(Reference to the idea of the prompt in the link below. Caution: it will hurt😢)

https://www.tumblr.com/nightmers/114762861949/happy-birthday-james-potter-27-03-1960

Anon! This made my cry, why?? No, but actually it’s such a beautiful, if very sad, prompt. Thank you for showing me!

Now, I’m really busy this week so I’m sorry that this isn’t the longest prompt, but I wanted to write this for you anyways so I hope you’ll like it.

moments of missing you

Five years. Four months. 27 days. That’s how long it’s been…since the last time she’d heard his infectious laugh…seen his hazel eyes sparkle with mischief…kissed him like they’re forever seventeen…

Five years.

Sometimes she can’t wrap her head around how much time has passed. Like, whenever Harry‘d outgrow another one of his shirts or say something so complex that it takes her a moment to adjust to the idea of him growing up. Then, time seems to fly by and dissolve between her fingers as she tries to hold onto the good moments…the moments spent with Harry and the boys.

But there are moments where time seems to drag on. Cruel in its unrelenting ability to somehow make a day seem like a week when only yesterday, a week had seemed like a day.

It’s the moments where she’d sit at the kitchen table to look, for the millionth time, at the photographs of their family before that night on Halloween — when they were so young and happy…and alive.

She’d lie awake in their bed after, praying for it to be morning so she wouldn’t have to stay there, where it is so obvious that this bed is too big for one person alone.

„Happy Birthday, Daddy…“

Harry‘s quiet whisper reaches her ears, finally getting her out of her head as she tears her eyes away from his gravestone to look at their son.

„…We’re doing good, Mum, Padfoot, uncle Remus and I…he says you’re in a happy place now. I hope he’s right…but, I still wish I could hug you today.“

Oh god, James…how badly I wish you were here with us.

Lily can’t help her tears now, as they trickle relentlessly down her cheeks. She reaches out to take Harry‘s little hand tightly into hers, squeezing it as she tries to manage a smile in hopes to comfort him.

(Her smile is strained and too tight and Harry doesn’t fall for it anymore, but he spares her his own, most convincing smile regardless, because he can tell his Mum needs that today)

„Oh, Harry, love…“ Lily whispers shakily, as she crouches down next to him. „I’m sure your Dad would’ve wanted that too.“

[wolfstarendgame]

Jegulus au, where Regulus gets the dark mark and then because he is disgusted with himself and is distraught because the only two people that have ever loved him would be heartbroken and disappointed in him so he disappears for a few months-a year, to look for the horcruxes. he finds all of them and the last on he finds is the locket. He gets the locket and gives it to Kreature, when they are leaving(Regulus being very unable to move and in pain because of the stuff he drank) the inferi come and drag him under water, as they are pulling him down he tells Kreature “you know where to go… leave… and tell him I love him” and is pulled underwater. He doesn’t specify who the ‘him’ is but kreature knows. As he is being dragged down he accepts his fate, because it is either death or disappointing James and Sirius. He thinks of childhood memories of him and Sirius and falling in love with James. The last thing he thinks before he dies is ‘I’m sorry’.

Kreature goes to the Potter house with all 6 horcruxes. Sirius opens the door with utter confusion. He calls for James and it’s the three of them standing in the house, Kreature puts the horcruxes on the floor and bows his head. James and Sirius are both very confused , and with knowing that Kreature and Regulus were very close Sirius knows that Kreature would only do this by Regulus’ orders, but then where is Regulus? “Kreature… where is Regulus?” Kreature keeps his head down “Master Regulus is gone” Sirius freezes “what?” “Master Regulus’ final words were ‘tell him I love him’” oh. Sirius hears muffled sobs and quickly remembers that James is there too, the same James who had his heartbroken by his brother a year ago when out of the blue he left. Sirius just lost his brother, his best friend, even though they hadn’t spoken in a year he would always be his best friend, but James lost the love of his life, for good. He knows that if it was Remus, well he doesn’t want to think about if it was Remus. With silent tears streaming down his face, Sirius turns to James and takes his face in his hands “Hey, James look at me” it takes a bit but James looks at him “I-It’ll be okay” he doesn’t believe it himself but it needs to be said, but James just cries harder and pushes himself out of Sirius’ grasp “N-No, he’s- he’s gone” and then James is gone and sirius is alone.

James wasn’t thinking straight so when he found himself on a cliff over looking the ocean, he was confused, but then the event of not even 10 minutes ago caught up to him. Regulus is gone. And James would never get him back. He sank down to the ground, a puddle of tears. After a long time crying on the mossy rocks James open his eyes and looks and the ocean. Regulus loved the ocean, he once said that he could watch the waves for hours. James wasn’t crying anymore, he was angry. Regulus is gone and there’s no one to blame but ducking Voldemort. Well… I guess it’s his turn.

Or, an au where Regulus dies getting the last horcrux and James avenges his death by killing Voldemort

(Kinda like dark James, but not Voldemort side yk?)

[interstellarlyinlove]

Of all the empty broom cupboards in the entirety of Hogwarts, Sirius somehow manages to stumble into one that is already occupied with another teary-eyed Gryffindor. 

Which is great, really.

Sirius doesn’t bother to hide the fact that he’s crying as he sits down on the floor next to Lily Evans, both their backs against the wall. She doesn’t bother to hide the fact that she’s crying, either.

“I bet you 20 sickles that the reason I’m crying is more rational than yours,” Lily says after a few beats of strangely comfortable silence, sniffling. 

Sirius snorts. “All suffering is valid, you know.”

Lily laughs, taking Sirius’ hand in hers. It’s casual and consoling in a way that Sirius thinks only Lily Evans can manage. “Whatever you say.”

“You tell me why first.”

“Sev is an asshole,” Lily says. “We’re not friends, not anymore, and losing a friend sucks.” 

Sirius nods. “It does. I’m sorry.”

“You hate Severus.”

“I do. But he was your friend. I understand why you’re upset, Flower.”

“Do not call me Flower, god.” Lily sighs. “I want to hate him so bad. But he’s my friend. Was. I don’t know. It’s like something is missing in my bones. I meant what I said the other day, truly, about not wanting to speak to him again, and I know that that’s what I want, rationally, and what I need, and that it’s the right thing to do, in the long run–”

“But you miss him.”

Lily sniffles. “So much. That son of a bitch. My chest feels hollow.”

“You’re doing the right thing, Flower. I think it’s really brave of you, for whatever it’s worth.”

“Oh, shut up,” Lily says, but it’s shaky. She squeezes Sirius’ hand. “Your turn.”

“Reg is an asshole,” Sirius says, trying not to actually outright sob. This is turning out to be a rather humbling experience. “The only thing I want is for him to realize that I am on his side. It’s like, he woke up one day and decided that he could no longer just… talk to me. He’s being secretive and– and cruel, and– I don’t know. It sucks.”

Lily snorts. Sirius pinches her side and she snorts again. “I’m sorry. I know a thing or two about asshole siblings. It does suck.”

“Yeah?”

Lily nods. “My older sister is– well, she decided that she can no longer speak to me as well. She’s also unbelievably good at being mean.”

“Ah. That’s all the siblings in the world, really.”

“The thing is, there is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for her. Nothing. If I’m being honest with myself, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Sev, either. Neither of them deserve it though.”

“Awe, Flower.”

“How have you been, lately? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” Lily says.

“Yes, that's because you have to be an active member in every academic and social activity Hogwarts has to offer, Lils.”

“I actually don’t want to know. See you later. Or not, I don’t really ca–” Sirius pulls Lily back down to sit next to him.

“I’m only joking, Flower,” Sirius says, grinning. “I’m okay, I can’t believe this year is almost over.”

“Neither can I! Next year is our last one here, can you imagine?”

Sirius shakes his head. “I really can’t. I love it here. I never want to leave, honestly.”

“What are you planning on doing, after? Anything specific in mind?”

“I need to take like ten NEWTS next year,” Sirius says. “You know, the depend-on-family-riches is no longer really an opinion with being disowned and all.”

Lily smiles. “They suck, anyway, their money is probably cursed. I can’t wait until you’re filthy rich, though, I’m totally going to use you.”

“You can use me whenever, Flower,” Sirius says, winking. “What makes you think I’m going to be rich?”

“You’re brilliant. Of course you’re going to be rich.”

“You think I’m brilliant?” Sirius grins. 

“Oh, shut up. You know that you are.”

“Look who's talking, though,” Sirius says. “You’re the most brilliant person I know. Maybe the most brilliant person in the universe, honestly.”

“The universe, huh?”

“Besides Remus, though. Can you tell him I said that?”

Lily laughs. “Fine. think of me while you’re making out later.”

“Ugh.”

“You know, maybe life isn’t ending after all.”

Sirius cocks his head. “This is where I ask what you mean by that, right?”

Lily nods. “Right. I just mean, I’ve been in my head for a couple of days and everything has been feeling like the end of the world. But it isn’t. The world isn’t ending because I’m no longer friends with somebody.”

“Especially if that somebody is Severus, Flower,” Sirius agrees.

Lily rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Do you know where James is?”

“Bored of me already?”

“Honestly?”

“Shut up about it. He’s in our dorm room, all sad and mopey.”

“Awe. We’re sad and mopey, too. We can’t make fun of him.”

“He’s mostly sad because you’re sad, though.”

“I know. I’m taking him out on a date tonight. It’s a surprise, so hush.”

“Screw him. Take me out on a date, please.”

Lily smiles. “We really should have lunch sometime. I miss you. Tell me when you’re free.”

“I’m always free for you, Flower.”

“Such a sweet talker. Your world isn’t ending either.”

Sirius smiles. “It is good to remember that, right?”

“Regulus loves you. He’s mean and explosive and has such an impressive death stare, oh my god, but he loves you. He’ll come around.”

Sirius is getting a little teary again. “You think?” He says, a little breathy.

Lily kisses his cheek. “I’m sure.”

Sirius wipes his eyes. “You’re the best. Go wine and dine James. Bring me leftovers.”

Lily laughs, and maybe crying with someone around isn’t the worst thing in the world.

[exlelellzasapples]

ALSO the first bit “couldn’t really love you anymore you’ve become my ceiling” is sirius talking to remus’ grave begging him to forgive him for wanting to move on when he obviously isn’t ready because it’s torture he’s gone and knowing he’s being mean to himself and remus would hate him for it but he doesn’t know what else to do like that one line in fleabag when she’s grieving her mum and it has no where to go anymore james would 10000% say “give it to me, i’m serious it sounds lovely” and they would cry about it for ages and he keeps telling him “i don’t think i love you anymore, that gold mine changed you” as in death and his perception of his memories of them together but he’s lying to himself cause it’s the only way he knows how to keep going so really this whole song could be interpreted as sirius’ n remus’ back n forth through life (sirius talking to remus’ memory) and death (remus talking to sirius when he was alive and him dreaming of it) about his guilt for loving him so deeply when they only got so little time

just listen to me for oneeeee second

the gold is SOOO tragic wolfstar PLEASEEEEE

specifically Forget the World by amberlink but yk fit it to whatever you think

“I believed you were crazy, you believed that you loved me” remus to sirius literally the whole time when he starts loving him even though they know he’s dying UGHHHHHH

“loose your faith in me” remus to sirius AGAIN cause he knows he’ll die and it will ruin him

“I don’t wanna bark here anymore, the black hills, the colly, it wasn’t really dangerous for us, we just catch you coughing” sirius to remus (or remus to sirius) when they talk about moving out of the city cause they know it’s not good for them and all they want is so live on a little bit of farm with their dog n cat and be gay together

i have so many more examples literally every SINGLE line of this song i cry to it like twice a week at least thinking abt it

[proserpina-magnus]

Yay your requests are open! 😄 Could you pleeeease write a Dom poly!marauders (no Peter) x sub!reader, where it’s a new-ish relationship between the 4 and the reader breaks her first rule, leading to her first punishment and they can all see she’s nervous so they are soft!doms during (you can decide the rule she breaks and the punishment🙊) and the aftercare they give her 🥺

Yes absolutely, it’s kinda rough and I didn’t realize how lengthy it was! This is actually not that good and the aftercare could be better but I hope you like it!

First Punishment’s (R.L, J.P, S.B)

Reader: fem (she/her)

Word count: 2.6

Warning: swearing, rule breaking, spanking, bratty reader (sorta), d/s (sorta heavy?) Remus is the main dom, safe words are definitely in place, lots of aftercare and praises, reader becomes a cry baby super fast, soft doms, Sirius actually doesn’t show up that much and that sucks :(

p.s: my bad spelling also plays a role in this!

There were only a few solid rules the Marauders had set for you, no back talk, no touching yourself sexually without permission, and always thank them when they give you something. They had a few smaller rules specifically for themselves, such a James saying you can’t cuss while Sirius allows it. Remus has to approve your outfit before going out to hogsmeade. Sirius, surprisingly, doesn’t have many rules other than the main ones.

It must have been a bad day or you just felt bratty, because you had been tempting their rules all day. You had gone out to hogsmeade with your dorm mates, not checking with Remus about your outfit. When you returned, a bag full of honey duke treats, you got stopped by Remus in the hallway. He shoo’d your dormmates away, an eyebrow raised with his hands crossed over his chest.

You shrunk slightly, fiddling with the edge of your rather small skirt that Sirius had gifted to you just days ago.

“Bun, did you forget to do something?” He asked and you nodded. Yet you and Remus both knew you had done it on purpose.

“What did you forget?”

“To check with you,” you mumbled, distracting yourself with flattening the fabric of James jumper you had stolen.

“To check with me about what?”

“M’outfit,” you whispered and you caught Remus's stern look and spoke up. “M’outfit sir,”

“mmh,” was all he said, giving you an opportunity to apologize to him properly. You dug through your bag, taking out a chocolate bar you had gotten him.

“But I went to get you guys sweets!” You excused yourself, pushing the chocolate in Remus's hand. Remus shook his head, taking the chocolate. “Alright, I’ll let you off this time. But no matter what your excuse is, it doesn't mean you can go around flaunting your ass to Hogsmeade, understand?”

“I’m not flaunting my ass!” You exhaled quickly, pushing down your skirt as you began to get offended. Remus raised his eyebrow, “I’m sorry?” And you grew quiet. Real quiet.

“Hey lovely,” you heard James call from behind you, you had turned around to see him race down the hall and swing an arm around your waist, a big smile on his face.

“What’s the issue?” James got the tension and Remus motioned for you to explain yourself.

“Went to hogsmeade without checking my outfit with Remus,” you whispered rudely, James raised an eyebrow as he didn’t quite catch it.

“Hm? Speak up poppet,” he said, and you sighed and said it again louder this time.

“Oh let her off this one time Remus, she must have forgotten,” James defended you, rubbing your back so you knew he was on your side.

“I was,” Remus started, irking slightly as he recalled how you talked back. “But instead she told me off for my offer,”

James grew confused, looking down at you. “Love, that’s not true is it?” He asked, pinching your cheek and you pushed his hand away. You thought he was on your side.

“Remus said I was flaunting my ass! I wasn’t! And even if I was, what's the problem with that? I’ll flaunt my ass whenever I want!” You huffed, another small rule broke at your words. Remus rolled his tongue over his teeth, James folding his arms over his chest. Oh dear lord, you were in for it now if you kept going.

“This isn’t far, it’s 2 against one,” you pointed out as you now realized James wasn’t on your side. You copied them, crossing your arms over your chest.

“It wouldn’t have been 2 against one if you didn’t break a rule,” Remus reminded you, you grew frustrated.

“Well I don’t like your stupid rules,” you stated, now you began to get worried. Why did you keep talking, it wasn’t too late for you to apologize and say you were sorry.

“Up to our dorm,” James said roughly and grasped your elbow, you shook him off and stepped back. “No I don’t wanna,” you said and they both let out a laugh.

“Come on, we’re not asking again,” Remus said, you felt your nerves jitter. You’ve never been punished before and the worry began to build quickly.

“No,” you said, shaking your head as you took another step back. Your back hit a person and you cursed yourself. Without turning around, you knew it was Sirius. But hopefully, you prayed he was on your side. Sirius must have read your thoughts, because he quickly said a “they’re right bun, you know if you break a rule you get punished,”

You frowned, huffing out as you realized there wasn’t a chance to escape now. “Fine,” you muttered, pulling away from Sirius as you began to walk down the hall to the portrait. They followed behind, Remus shaking his head.

You stopped at the portrait, arms still crossed over your chest as they said the password and led you upstairs to their dorm. With the thud of the door being closed, you felt the need for a meltdown.

They hadn't discussed what kind of punishment went with each rule, they hadn’t thought they wouldn't need to punish their good girl. James had insisted you would never break a rule, but apparently he was wrong.

They picked up that you were worried, but they couldn’t just let it slide, you’d think that breaking rules was okay and that you could get away with it.

You walked over and set your bag down on James' dresser, sitting down on his bed, hands still folded over your chest.

“Okay, cool off,” James said and walked over to you. “I want you to know we aren’t punishing you while mad, that’s not how this is going to work,” he stated, and Remus nodded.

“We honestly hadn’t planned out a punishment, we thought you would be good,” Sirius said, that hurt. “I am good!” You replied, upset at the fact they didn’t think you were good.

“Hey, you’re not on thin ice anymore missy, I’d watch what you say if I were you,” Remus snapped and you went quiet with a frown.

“We know you’re a good girl,” James soothed over, giving a glare to Sirius. “That’s not what he meant,”

You began to open your mouth for a snappy comment, maybe even going as far as to call James dumb, but you closed your mouth and stayed silent. “Okay,” you nodded, “I understand,”

“You know why we have to punish you?” Sirius asked, and you nodded. “Say it, we want to know that you know what you did was wrong,”

“I broke a rule, well two rules,”

“Two rules?” Sirius questioned, he had missed the start of the backlash. “She went out to Hogsmeade without my permission for her outfit,” Remus cleared up.

“technically she actually broke three,” James said, your eyes opened as you looked over at him. How could he? You felt the need to cry, they seemed really upset. Who knew you would hate them being upset at you so much?

“Three?” You questioned in pure confusion.

“You cussed, you know I don’t like that,” James explained with a hand on your thigh, you nodded in defeat. “It’s alright, bun,” he kissed your cheek.

“James, don’t encourage that she can break your rules,” Remus advised and your shoulder slumped at the fact this wasn’t a time for you to get praises.

“Alright, let’s discuss punishments, she’s scared I don’t like that,” Sirius said and sat opposite of you, Remus took a seat on the chair by James dresser.

“You want us to list some?” James asked, “we won’t do anything without your permission,” he explained and rubbed your knee, you sighed but was a bit confused.

“You can use your safe word any time you feel unsafe, even during punishments. We never want you to be scared of us, okay?” Remus said, rubbing your cheek and you nodded. You leaned your face in his palm, you wanted to soak up all the affection before your punishment.

“We need clarification, you understand bun,” Sirius said, you opened your eyes when Remus pulled his hand away. “I understand, I can use my safe word whenever I need to, even during punishments,” you nodded along, slowly the nerves began to settle.

“Good girl,” James praised, “don’t think we’re going to praise you during punishments either, but since it’s your first time we’ll be more understanding,” Remus explained and you nodded.

“Alright, what about spanking? Not letting her cum for a certain amount of time? Degrading?” Sirius rushed out the ones off the type of his head, your stomach flipped at the word spanking.

They discussed punishments in front of you for a few minutes, some making you worry and others you nodded along like you’d enjoy it. You didn’t know why, but hearing them talk like you weren’t even there was making you feel dizzy.

“What about a simple time out? I don’t want to go all out for her first punishment, I don’t want her to be scared,” James said, rubbing your back gently.

“Let’s make her pick, that way she has control over the first punishment,” Remus said, looking away from Sirius as he kept his eyes on you. “We’ll let you pick this time, but don’t think you’ll get to pick the next time you break a rule,” he explained and you nodded.

“No punishment,” you choose and Sirius laughed, kissing your forehead. “That’s not how it works bunny,” he began and you sighed. You thought for another minute, spanking couldn’t be bad could it?

“I guess spanking,” you nodded, Remus nodded but James wasn’t so sure. “I don’t know, I still think we should give her a time out, maybe even not let her speak for a day or so,” James said, Sirius didn’t agree.

“She wants to be spanked, we’ll spank ‘er,” Sirius said, patting your thigh.

“The whole point of a punishment is that we don’t do what she wants, it’s not a punishment if she likes it,” James explained, you began to worry again.

“I don’t wanna do something scary,” you say, you thought about the discussion of the things you definitely didn’t want to do at the first of your relationship. Were they going to do something that was past your boundary? At the thought alone, you began to sob.

“James look what you did, you’re scaring her,” Sirius rolled his eyes as he took you in his arms, shushing you gently as he rubbed your back.

“M’don’t wanna do things past my boundary,” you sobbed, they all softened at the miscommunication. “Oh no poppet, we would never go past your boundary, that’s not what a punishment is,” James sighed, you sniffled and pulled back, wiping your eyes. “No?”

“Of course not,” Remus clarified, “like we said, safe words can be used during any moment you feel unsafe, do you need to use it now? We can postpone the punishment until you’re ready,”

You shook your head, “no, the faster the punishment is over the faster I can be your good girl again,” you whispered.

“That’s right, just focus on that huh? We’ll be so proud of you for taking the punishment like a good girl,” Sirius said, looking over at James and Remus. They all agreed and you wiped your cheeks.

“Okay but how many spanks? And how hard?” You asked, they all thought for a moment, james and Sirius looking over at Remus for the final answer.

“20 or so? That seems fair,” Remus states and the latter agree, you felt confident with being able to handle 20. “But how hard?” You asked, James stood you up and you felt a hard smack against your ass. You yelped, hand going over to rub the now red skin.

“Does that count as one?” You question, Remus was about to say no but Sirius caught him off. “Might as well,” he states, “who’s giving the punishment? Cant be me cause I’ll enjoy it too much,”

“I want James,” you say, but James shakes his head. “You upset Remus' earlier love, I’ll give you 10 and Remus will give you the other,” he says, looking over at Remus to see if he agrees. The taller boy nodded.

After a few minutes of questioning, you had situated yourself on James lap. Sirius laid on his bed, clear view of your now exposed ass (James had previously risen your skirt and pushed down your panties). You took a deep breath, Remus explaining once again that you could use your safe word whenever you needed.

With the first official smack, you sucked in a breath. There was a certain excitement about it, even the boys felt their heart race as James abused your soft flesh with a couple more smacks. Your skin red on both cheeks, James even went as far as to hitting the low of your thigh.

After the tenth smack, you had begun to let tears slip past your waterline. Sniffling as you sat up and moved to sit in Remus' lap. Once sprawled out, you whispered a small choked out “okay” for Remus to continue where James left off.

Remus’s spanks we’re harder than James, by the fourth you had become a whimpering mess. Your apologies for misbehaving leaked out every smack, it was like dominos. Your skin felt raw to the touch, the spanks stung.

Remus applied the last smack quickly, Sirius sitting up as James fell to his knee beside the bed, stroking your hair. “You did such a good job, poppet, made us so proud,” James whispered as Sirius passed Remus some cream.

Your face deep in the sheets, sobs admitting loudly as you feel the cool cream get rubbed into your hot skin. Sirius rubbed your leg, Remus finished and flipped your skirt down to hide your reddened ass.

“Look at that, you took your first punishment so good,” Sirius said, Remus helped you sit up as you wrapped your arms around his collar.

“M’so so sorry, never break a rule again,” you sobbed, vowing to never receive another punishment. Even though they knew a punishment was necessary, they felt their hearts stop at the sound of your cry.

“Oh baby, shh. Let’s get you some candy from your bag,” Sirius says, grabbing the honey duke's bag as he rummages through it. Remus guides you away from his neck, sitting you down in his lap. You hissed, the contact not feeling good on your abused behind.

James had opened a water bottle for you, pushing in a straw and holding it for you to drink. You nodded your thanks and shakily took it, sipping it graciously. Your eyes were puffy and red, James wiped your face with a tissue, cleaning your mascara from your cheeks.

Sirius had opened a pack of peppermint patties for you, you chewed on it gently and leaned against Remus’s back. After they got you calmed down, the praises had been never ending.

“Look at you, took your first punishment so well,”

“Good girl, best sub we will ever have, hm?”

“Took the spanks so well didn’t she, prongs?”

“She’s such a good girl, don’t you think moony?”

You felt dizzy at their compliments, nodding as they all came tumbling in at once. Sirius had begun brushing your hair, James kissing your cheeks to make you laugh.

“So proud of you poppet,” James whispered in your ear, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he picked you up.

“Let’s go run you a bath and soothe your skin hm? Then will bring you dinner and you can rest with us tonight,” James said, stepping into the bathroom.

“Okay, I’d like that,” you nod tiredly, resting your head on James' chest. Maybe being bratty wasn’t so bad.

—

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