POV: It’s 6am and you have the privilege of witnessing Giovanni the pancake master
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JOYOUS DAY NEW SPRITES OF THE BOYS 🎉🎉
(+Fred phone)
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RAAHH🔥🔥
EE and Poptropica🔥🔥
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The best found family dynamic always involves an egotistical disaster bi wannabe superhero, his tall buff himbo boyfriend, and their adopted daughter.
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LO AND BEHOLD, A TIERLIST UPON YOU, BITCH
K bye
Whoopty Dooooooooooooo
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GIOVANNI POTAGE, CAR CRASH, SPIKE, FLAMETHROWER, BEN, CRUSHER, and DARK STAR from EPITHET ERASED
Justification:
"I just think it would be hilarious having them being a big and confusing QPR. Imagine Molly, that had one crappy dad, suddenly gaining like 7 parents/siblings-in-law and all of them have no braincells. Also PLEASE. Consider all the "partners in crime" jokes you can make with these guys if they become an item.
Also they are like already obsessed with each others and are like loyal af to each others so the situation wouldn't change so much, it would Just make it funnier." - Anonymous
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Treatin the boys to barbie
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for gio (or any of his minions), who's your favorite member of the banzai blasters?? if you had to pick
Giovanni: YOU'RE TELLING ME I HAVE TO PICK A FAVORITE MINION?! [OFFENDED DRAMATIC GASP!!]
HOW DARE YOU! I LOVE ALL OF MY BOYS EQUALLY, I DON'T HAVE ANY FAVORITES!! I CAN'T JUST PICK ONE!! [He pulls all of his minions into him, forming a group hug. Giovanni began crying big stupid tears.]
What if one of them heard such nonsense?! My boys are very sensitive!
Crusher: YEAH, WE'RE VERY SENSITIVE!!
Ben: *pssh* Not me, though.
Flamethrower: Ben, just last week were literally crying over the fact you stepped on a worm...
Ben: [crying] I JUST WANTED TO BRING HIM HHO-HOO-HOOOOME!! [sniffles] I was even going to name him Benjamin Jr....
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This is gonna get controversial: I think Giocrusher is extremely overrated.
Now don’t get me wrong I like Crusher but I just don’t ship him with Gio and there are reasons for that.
Crusher’s primary trait is *checks notes* having a crush on Giovanni. It’s a fun gag but if that’s the only real trait he has then to me that makes it a boring ship. I feel like the primary reason why Giocrusher is popular is because Crusher’s a man. Jello has even confirmed on stream that for each arc he’ll have to make reasons for why Gio’s minions are EXCLUDED from the action.
While I’m not the biggest GioLori shipper there is one big reason I like it more than Gio Crusher.
Lorelai doesn’t worship Giovanni. In my mind, most of their interactions have been as equals even though Lorelai is leagues stronger. GioCrusher just feels kinda awkward when Crusher treats Giovanni as some higher being even though their own gap in power is smaller and their whole dynamic seems one-sided on Crusher’s part.
I am aware of the people who don’t ship GioLori because “Lorelai’s a bad person” but I’ve seen some of you ship Percy and Zora so that seems like a moot point. And I think there’s a good chunk of people who act like Lorelai isn’t going to change even though Prison of Plastic is just the beginning of her character arc. And the fact Lorelai has flaws makes shipping her with Giovanni much more interesting.
At the end of the series I’d be just as happy if Giovanni was still single or was dating Lorelai. I just think a lot of Epithet fans are giving GioCrusher more praise than it deserves.
mod thinks it would be best if Gio ended up staying single
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To settle a debate in my discord server rn,
Propaganda under cut
FLAMETHROWER
Does male cheerleading
LOOK AT HIM
Probably great at fashion
Mansplain, Manipulate, Malewife.
DARKSTAR
Star themed
Probably great at Cod and Fortnite
Silly dude.
Ben.
A WET SPONGE OF A BOY
Voiced by jello, if that helps.
He wears sweater vests.
SPIKE
SHES A GIRL!!!
will give you tattoos and Piercings
Kinda goth too
CRUSHER
BEEFY
Gives great hugs
Can't cook, but will for you.
CARCRASH
Malewife.
Likes you very much
History nerd.
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I am 1 year late and only saw the official Banzai Blasters' designs just now, and I'm 🤲🤲🤲 about Crusher. He looks like one of those very cute highland cows ! 🥺 I want to cherish him !
Bonus bc I'm a simple gay
We want to cherish him
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I like the Giovanni Lorelei ship, but I can also see the positives of Crush and the former... I like dumm sweethearts and multilayer brats who can be fun.
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[collapses] ITS DONE-
This took so long- so much I just said screw it with the cake and used a png (original idea was to draw 3 cakes all connected with a hot wheels track)
Gio and his boys celebrating his birthday! Happy birthday to this soupy goober
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As the book edges closer and closer, epithet switch begins to come back in our arms
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