#crowley is like: just use ur magic

[daiwild]

"Relax, Angel, you're in good hands."

[sosaysdean]

How was the episode?

pretty standard

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

May I request Great Seven Yuu with no filter? Maybe the other students are just TESTING THEM that day and with a little prodding from their darling parents, they just say what’s on their mind for the day

Yuu + The Great Seven

Note: This is different from my other great 7 fics as I don't focus on what the 7 say as much here, this also aint the canon unit yuu for this. Anyways enjoy

Cws: Gn!Yuu, Rook is clowned on cause he's French, implications of Crewel/Crowley but in a divorcee way, some cringe ig, minor changes to canon, first years are ur homies, sebek has moments where he yells in all caps cause he's cringe, Lilia knows Maleficent, Trey isn't slandered as much as he should be, Starts off Crack, turns to angst, then fluff. 6k Words

****

Since arriving at NRC, you have been playing your role well, excellent even. You played the role of a magicless, weak, and gullible prefect that knew nothing of the world you were in. The mirror said that you “had too many souls to judge” and that you had no magic, which was technically true as the magic you had was borrowed from the seven sealed within you.

It was going to be perfect. You can finally lay low and research this world to give your dear seven parents and their familiars bodies again, then make your place in this new world… or so you thought. 

Right after the disaster that was the entrance ceremony, you ended up being roommates with the cat and crashed it. Fine, you could work with this. Then the very next day, the cat got into a fight with a pathetic bully which caused a statue to get burned, which then caused another person to get involved, which then caused a chandelier to break, and then you had to go off into a hidden mine to fight a monster late into the night, and you get the story.

It has been consistently difficult to pretend you had no magic, or to make the excuse that “someone else must have casted that spell”. When you eventually had to explain that you were a magician, there went the first half of your plan. Now Crowley and everyone seems to expect more from you, at least you were able to pretend it was weak, you guess. And as if it could get any worse, the seven seem to be encouraged to give these brats a taste of their own medicine and stop holding back. Oh how you would love to but putting up with everyone after, especially the number one pain in your ass, Ace, would be so fucking annoying.

The aforementioned pain in your ass poked you, interrupting the mental conversation you were having with the ensemble in your head, and you had to hold back the urge to use Hades’ flames to set him ablaze. You shut your eyes tightly and tense up before slowly turning to him. “What?” Your eyes narrow as Ace looks over at you with the most infuriating neutral expression that turns to a pout. 

“Were you even listening to me?” “Look, it’s nothing personal, it’s just how I am.” Ace’s lips pursed as he raised a brow. “Really?” Deuce nudged Ace. “Hey, be nice, you know they don't mean to space off like that, it's their condition.” Deuce was truly a blessing. “Seems to me like Yuu is just a space case,” Grim snickered and Sebek nodded his head. “I completely agree with Grim! Honestly, how could you and Silver be so complacent? Do you lack discipline?”

You mentally groaned with the seven at Sebeks scolding. “They don’t lack discipline,” Jack interrupted, “Yuu says they have a condition that delays their thoughts, they need extra time to process what you said.” “Thank you, Jack.” You smile, and feel Ortho glide right next to you and look up at you. “Having a condition like that must be hard… I can't imagine my processor lagging…” Ortho trails off and frowns, “Oh but I’ll try my best to look for a fix for you!” The child beams. Epel looks over at you.

“That is one hell of an issue huh? Some days you're just as quick as anyone else but then sometimes you take forever, it's a fickle thing.” Epel hums and Ace rolls his eyes at everyone defending you. “Tch, yeah what's that about? Sometimes I even hear you talking to yourself, weirdo.” Ace playfully nudges you and you narrow your eyes at him. 

Something within you snaps. Maybe it’s because of all the stress of hiding it. Maybe it's because you have to interact and pretend everything is fine to the students who have bullied, harassed, and tried to kill you resulting in god awful PTSD finally making you snap. Or maybe it's just because you want this damned asshole that has wormed his way into your heart to shut up.

“Because ‘thought processing disorder’ isn’t the best way to actually describe my condition, Ace, but it's sure as hell easier to explain than ‘I have several voices in my head judging me and telling me what to do all the time and no medication cannot stop it no matter what I do and all of your stupid comments and questions makes them erupt in a 10 minute yelling match making it impossible to hear my own thoughts!” 

You sneer at them all as they look over with a mix of surprise and pity, Ortho looks like a kicked puppy. You sigh, “I’m sorry, I just…” “Nah that's nothing to apologize for…” Ace sighs, and you know he wants to apologize but pride won't allow him. “Y’know what if you just say what the voices want to say?” Deuce suddenly asks out of the blue.

“O-of course, I don't know what they say so maybe it's not a good idea but…” “Actually, it may give Ace some patience for once.” Jack gives a small smirk. “We all know he needs to learn to think before he speaks.” “Hey!” Ace huffs. “Fine then, bring it! I can take whatever you throw at me.” And the ginger smirks as if he didn't just say some famous last words.

“You're serious?” You blink. “Do you even think you could handle it?” Sebek scoffs, “I can take anything a measly human dishes out, it is nothing compared to fae!” Epel shuts his eyes in annoyance. “Oh you three don’t even know what you’re getting into, yet you’re already signing up for trouble.” Ortho beams. “Actually, this might help me collect some data to help you, Yuu!” “You four don’t even know what you're getting yourselves into…” Epel corrects himself.

“Okay okay.” You sigh. “Tomorrow, I will allow whatever they say, happen… to an extent at least…” You mutter, making Hades and the Queen of Hearts in your head boo you. Last thing you need is an Arson charge….

****

You laid down on your bed later that day as the sun began to set. “Okay guys… there are only a few ground rules. No murder, and no major property damage, small fires are okay, okay?” Before any of the seven and their familiars could respond or complain, you heard Grim.

“Who’re you talking to? Oh wait, you speaking to the guys in your head?” Grim asked, jumping on the bed and cuddling up to you. “First the mouse in the mirror and now you have some voices in your head, what other secrets are you keeping from me, hmm?” 'A lot actually', you think as you stroke Grim’s fluffy head. “You’ll see tomorrow.” You smile and your excitement made it difficult to sleep that night.

****

You got up, did your daily routine that Mama Grimhilde has laid out for you, before exiting the house with Grim in your arms for breakfast. Of course you haven’t forgotten the deal you made today at all. ‘Pssst, hey small sib~’ Flotsam chuckles darkly in your head, ‘Can I bite someone today?’ You chuckle, “Only if they deserve it.” Grim peeked up at you. “Oh yeah, you’re talking out loud today.” Grim smirks, “I wonder how Explodey-Head’s gonna react to that!”

Slinking into the cafeteria, you get into line per usual, getting a tray of whatever was free that you liked, you had to pinch your pennies this week. Sitting down, you notice that your usual squad was there, including Ace and Deuce, who usually took their time to arrive, and Ortho who usually had to deal with his brother. “Good morning.” You say settling down. “Morning, Yuu!” Ortho beams, “I got here early so I can start the data collection! I'll try to record as much as possible!” 

‘Oh how precious.’ Ursula purrs in your head, and the seven’s consensus on Ortho, even if they didn’t appreciate anklebiters, is that he wasn’t half bad. “So, today you're going to embrace your issues, I SAY BRING IT ON!” Sebek yells, making everyone wince, and Epel shoots a tired glare. ‘Tell that boy to silence! I am trying to nap!’ Scar huffs.

You nervously sigh, “Well first off all, they said to shut up please, it's not even 7 in the morning.” Sebek looks offended for a moment, but a very familiar voice interrupts, sending shivers down your spine. “Oh Koebi-Chan~” A wry voice purrs, making Grim hop off of you to hide. Everyone in your head went ‘oh no this guy again.’

You honestly didn’t mind Floyd, hell, you dare to consider him a friend, but you really were not in the mood for his antics today. “Hey Floyd,” You sigh, “look dude, I’m not in the mood today, can you please leave me alone?” You ask, and your words just make Floyd beam. The seven seem annoyed, but then you feel their excitement; your first victim. 'Humiliate the boy…' Jafar whispers to you.

Floyd drapes himself over you as you eat, occasionally leaning over to try and steal a bite from whatever was on your fork. “Ehh? Little shrimpy’s feeling bold today!~ How fun! Whatcha gonna do about me?~” His arms wrap around you to squeeze around your rib cage, “Especially when I squeeze…” 

“Dude, leave them alone.” Deuce says before freezing at the glare he was shot. "…Please?” He adds. “Look Floyd,” Jack sighs, “we’re trying to get Yuu some help today with an illness, Ortho is trying to get data on them, you aren’t helping.” Jack interrupts, trying to keep your condition vague for your privacy. Seems like Jack forgot that Floyd ignores reason when he finds it funny.

“Ooo~, is the little shrimpy sick?” Floyd says backing off of you slightly and poking you in the ribs. “You know Azul may have a remedy for it, you should come on down.~” “He does not, and for the final time there is nothing he can offer me that would make me want to make a deal with him. Please go away.” You warn one last time and Floyd leans in, pushing his luck in hopes to see you squirm. Ortho glares and prepares to get up and send him away but you hold out your hand to tell him to stop.

“Whatcha gonna do lil shrimpy?~” Floyd smirks. ‘Is it time?’ Hades asks, ‘Please tell me its time.’ You smile and mentally reply, ‘it’s time.’ You keep your calm smile as you look at Floyd. “Probably something my father taught me.” “And what's that?” Floyd says, grabbing the back of your neck. 

“This.” Suddenly you erupted in the brightest blue flames the world has ever seen making half of the cafeteria turn to stare. Your friends at the table all jump back and Ortho flashes red as he scans you. As quickly as the flames came to be, they disappeared. Floyd pulled his hands away, waving it off to cool it down. He wasn’t burned, at least nothing major, but the sleeve of his uniform was singed and he stared at it in rapt fascination.

You expected him to get annoyed, or to maybe start a fight, or something, but Floyd was in a good mood, and he laughed. “I didn’t know little shrimpy could do that! I thought you could only summon an ember, eheheh!~ Seems little shrimpy has more secrets than we thoooought~” Floyd muses, and suddenly another familiar face comes in, one that looks exactly like Floyd.

“Floyd, I believe the prefect doesn’t want to play anymore. Come on now, we should go.” “Aww but I wanna keep playing!” “I know brother dearest, but it seems that the cruel and unwavering Prefect doesn't want to,” Jade faked a frown and sighed, “How awful, if only they could have an ounce of compassion for my poor, poor brother… However, ” Jade opened his eyes back up and smirked, staring directly at you with a twinkle in his eye. “I think it’s best to leave them alone for today, especially since whatever ailment they have seems to make them erupt in flames at any given moment…” 

The eel’s voice drips with faux concern and Floyd snickers, Azul is gonna have some wonderful intel to ponder over later. You decide to say exactly what all of your fathers thinking. “Go eat shit and die for all I care.” And Jade’s eyes widen ever so slightly before the gleam with amusement, having never seen this side of you. “Of course prefect! If this ah… ailment continues to cause you trouble, please do let us know. We at Octavinelle love to help the poor and unfortunate.”

You watched the two slink off before turning back to your meal as all of your first year friends gawked at you. “What the hell was that! You never said you could do that!” Ace sputtered. “Yeah! You nearly cooked me!” Grim whines, making the audience in your head relish in their surprise. Ursula and The Queen of Hearts seem particularly amused. 

“Magic like that requires a lot of skill.” Sebek ponders, “To cast a flame cloak and not burn yourself requires a lot of concentration, furthermore it requires a high amount of magic potential on par with fae. Didn’t you say you have none, Yuu? HAVE YOU BEEN LYING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE? OR PERHAPS YOU WANTED TO HIDE IT TO SKIRT OUT ON EXAMS!” “Volume!” Deuce whines, and Grimhilde mentally thanks him.

“Oh… whoops…” “WHOOPS??” A few of the first years yell and Epel shoots you an ugly-baffled expression. “Whoops?? Whoops?? Is that all you have to say about that? You performed some of the most advanced defensive magic without a second thought and you just say whoops??” Epel’s accent threatens to slip out.

“Hey, Ortho, what's their magic reading, you look concerned.” Deuce asks as Ortho looks at the screens he’s projecting with a calculating expression. “I think there is an error in my system, I have scanned them 5 times and it says they have no traces of magic at all, but there is also no trace of any dampening magic used to hide or change that reading. Furthermore, the technique they used is no longer in use, records show it dates back more than the era of gods! That version of the spell they casted cannot be duplicated at all!” Ortho says in amazement before turning to you.

“Just… what are you?”

You blink as they all stare at you expectedly. “I'm a human.”

****

It was time for class, you said that you were gonna use the bathroom first, so the others should go without you for now, you’ll see them with Crewel. You didn’t think that anything eventful would come from it. You were wrong. This is NRC.

Coming out of the bathroom, a few Savanahclaw chuds cornered you. “Can I help you?” You asked exasperatedly to the NRC equivalents of Beavis and Butthead. “Tch, you know why we're here!” “…No, I don't.” You blink rubbing your eye, which just pissed off the duo even more.

“You made a fool out of our dorm during the spell drive competition!” “Oh god, is that what this about, dude that was nearly a year ago.” “Yeah and we came back to settle the score.” You just raised a brow and a small smile crept to your face.

‘Oh! Oh! Can I bite now? Please please please can I bite now! Come onnnn I’ve been such a good eel!’ Flotsam pleads and you hear the familiars speak. ‘Me want bite!!’ Ed whines. Raven caws, ‘Yeah me too!’ Iago agrees. ‘We wanna join too!’ The imps laugh. ‘I will… stay here…’ Diaval sighs.

You blink. “Sick em.” You say, making the two idiots make a face at you. Flotsam immediately lunges for the ass. “AIIIIEEE!” One yells and you hold back a snort as the others join, Iago and Raven both grabbing onto the members hair and pecking at them. Jetsam basically lassos around one, making him trip so the hyena trio can rough him up. The imps both transform into a blue and red cat respectively and continue to add to the looney tunes violence of it all.

The two run off and the familiars return to you, except for the eels that slither miserably in place on the smooth, frictionless floor. “Help us up.” Jetsam scoffs. “No I think I’ll stay like this a bit longer.” 'Angelfish…' Ursula warns. "... yes mom…"

…

..

.

On your way to class you run into Crowley who attempts to stop you and unload another issue for you to deal with. Instead you say what your familiars wanted to say. “You are gay.” You say, making the man just stare at you as you walk off. “And Crewel also has weirdly complicated feelings for you.” 

“FEELINGS YOU SAY?? WHICH ONES?? WHICH SORT OF FEELINGS YUU?? YUU!!!” You speed walk off regretting that decision, but you admit it will be funny to see those two get divorced. Crewel deserves better.

****

Animal Linguistics was always a bit of an annoying class, and this time, Trein has invited a few of the more advanced students to the class to help you freshmen. Ace let out a deep sigh when he saw Ruggie, knowing this guy will only do the bare minimum for his grade and charge any lesson extra.

“So when the cat goes ‘mrrrp?’ You're good, usually you should try to respond with a ‘mah Ah’” Ruggie explains to your group. “Do we always have to talk to cats and mice? I feel like we should also practice some other creatures too…” You sigh. 

Trein overhears you and responds. “Your birds don’t count, Yuu. They are able to speak.” You sigh. “Okay…” You sigh and Ruggie gives you that stupid shit-eating grin. “Aw, you not satisfied with my lesson?” “No.” You glare, which surprises Ruggie, unused to your assertiveness. “I can speak to animals already and I’ve been teaching these boneheads, we're fine here.” 

“Yeah but you say things that don't make sense…” Grim complains. “It doesn’t make sense because you guys are not used to the accents animals have. You know what, hold on, I‘ll get some real good ones to practice on.” “Huh what are you—?” Ruggie gawks when he sees three whole hyenas appear out of nowhere along with two eels around your waist. 

“They are not allowed to speak in their human voices. Knock 'em out, guys.” “Yuu! Where did you even…” Trein sighs. “Fine, fine, they can stay as long as they are well behaved…” The hyenas cackle and the eels snicker. Deuce nervously looks into the crossed eyes of Ed who winks in response.

Ace seals his lips to hold back a laugh until Banzai leans where he stares nervously. “Seduce me bro.” “AYO???”

****

Soon history class came, and once again a special guest was brought in, Lilia. The lesson went fine. Your sass wasn't needed. You kept quiet as you took a few notes here and there, and the end bell soon rang out. You stared at a particular note you took. 

‘The Thorn Fairy’s wings were leathery and bat-like, much like a dragon.’ 

You looked down at the note, and Maleficent herself seems to hum. ‘Seems like he is still following orders years later.’ She says and doesn’t elaborate. As students begin to pack up and leave, you wave down Lilia, who puts a hand on his hip and waits for you.

“Oho? What is it, prefect?” Lilia beams as you look at the note you took in your open notebook. “I have a question about what you said about the Thorn Fairy.” Lilia nods, “Well yes, what is it? It always warms my heart to see youngsters value history.”

You look at the note again. “You said that her wings were leathery and bat-like.” Lilia nods his head. “But aren't they feathered?” Lilia’s smile drops. “In fact she lost her wings too but got them back at some point, right? Did they become leathery during those years they were gone? Is that what you mean?”

Lilia looks at you, a bit of shock in his eyes, before he quietly speaks to you. “How do you know that?” “Know what?” “The Thorn Fairy only disclosed that information to two people, her raven, Diaval, and me…” You freeze for a moment and then Diaval appears on your shoulder to caw at him. 

Lilia stares at you, then at the raven, then back to you. “Diaval, is that you…? Why are you with… wait does that mean—" Lilia was cut off. “Yo, Yuu!” Deuce calls out from the doorway. “You coming?” You clear your throat and nod. “Yeah, I’m coming!” You look over at Lilia, “Thank you for your time.” He could only stare as you walked off and Diaval cawed an apology 

***

Towards the end of the day, you and your first year friends were all going to hang out at Heartslabyul to study together, which you know was code for ‘get distracted halfway and hang out’. You walked down the main path to the mirror chamber when you felt a familiar presence nearby. You were being watched.

“Come out Rook, I know you're there.” You look over at one of the apple trees, and narrow your eyes when you see Rook pop out from behind it all theatric. “Très bien, Trickster! You found me, that is a feat not many can achieve!” The weirdo beams. You nodded. “Yeah, you don't need to stalk me by the way. I am happy to get to know you through talking…”

“Non non, Trickster, you say that however I believe you don’t truly speak your mind!” The French man smiles. “I notice that you are not true to yourself! Always holding back your strength and what you mean to say, when I caught wind you were going to be yourself for a day, I could not help but try to study you!” Okay wow, he has you read.

“You can learn so much more about a person through their actions, but alas, you are so good at concealing those too, mon dieu, you are quite the mystery that I hope to uncover, and the most challenging one to date!” Rook says in awe. “I enjoy a good hunt, and this one has been most enthralling!” “I’ve always been able to sense when you're there, its why I tend to slink off not long after.”

“Merde! Is that so?” Rook smirks, and you sweat, you fucked up. “Aha, I knew you knew of me! Oh how fun! I have never had such good prey before!” You narrow your eyes slightly as he continues. “Would you dare to tell me how you are able to detect me so easily? Ah– but of course, if you don't that makes things much more magnifique!” 

“Um… I honestly actually don't know how I do, I just do?” Rook seems pleased, “How effortless! Tres bien! Beauté! I must hone my skills as a hunter more! Until next time, Yuu!” Rook begins to walk off before pausing and his smile drops for a moment.

“And even if it is not me, I do hope you can truly open up to somebody someday. Anyone would be lucky to have that level of trust with a Trickster such as yourself! Holding everything in does you no good! Au revior, little trickster, or perhaps I should call you le Chevalier Mystère?” Rook has that small sparkle in his eye.

“Switch it up now and then, keep it interesting.” You nod at Rook “À bientôt!” He says, and he seems to be muttering some weird French poem about strangers and beauty as you leave.

****

You were stopped yet again on your way to Heartslabyul as you passed the mystery shop. The door was open and you see Trey ponder how he’s going to carry the groceries he brought back to the dorm. “Hey Trey,” you walks in and wave, “you look conflicted, something up?”

“Ah prefect, I am actually,” Trey wears that smiley-wincing expression that Trey has when he’s in deep shit. “I'm sorry to bother you, but could you help me carry some of these bags back to my dorm? It may take a few trips but I promise a treat in return.” “You don’t need to Trey, I’ll help you even without one, you’ve been kind to me.”

Trey’s brows raise slightly and he adjusts his glasses, looking away awkwardly. “Ah, well, thank you, Prefect.” Trey rolls up his sleeves, revealing his forearms as he prepares to grab a bag. "Those bags of flour and sugar are quite heavy, so be careful— wuh?” Trey stared dumbstruck as you lifted 500 pounds worth of dry ingredient bags in one arm. “I- how are you— Is that not heavy?” 

“It is, but I’m used to it.” “At least let me help—“ “No, no  fine, lets go.” “O… kay…” Trey adjusts his glasses and you both walk off to Heartslabyul, making a lot of people turn their heads as you pass by. 

Entering the dorm, you notice Deuce and Grim gawk at you. “Give me a minute, I’m helping Trey!” You shout as you walk everything to the kitchen and set it down on the counter. “There.” Trey stares at the pile you put down, mentally going through all the times before you acted so weak. “Ahem, thank you prefect, Ace told me you would be over in the rose garden to ‘study’ right?” “They never study.” Trey gives that 'Trey sad smile' from earlier. “You got that right.”

****

Exiting the kitchen, you look into one of the mirrors hanging on the walls of the dorm, adjusting your appearance when yet another annoying voice interrupts you. “O-M-G! It's Yuu-Chan!” Cater shouts with his typical manufactured smile. “Heyyyy!” He waves and you feel your brain melting in your skull. “Hey Cater, what's up?”

“I have a questionnn!~” He smiles, pulling up something on his phone. “Are these you?” You sweat and look over to the images he pulled up. There was one of you in flames in the cafeteria, and another of you in the hallway wheezing at the pack of familiars all jumping the two chuds. “Yeah… yeah you caught me…”

“They’re trending locally right now and you know I just have to get in on that! Mind if we take a pic?” “Go ahead.” You sigh and Cater immediately snaps a selfie of him and your exhausted self. “Me and the bestie! #NRCProblemChild #NRCConspiracy #IsekaiProtag #ExtraTerrestrialPrefectConspiracy! Aaannnd post! Thank you, Yuu-Chan, I’m curious though what was that about?”

“Those two assholes were trying to beat me up and don’t worry about the other one.” “Don't worry?” Cater scoffs as you adjust yourself in the mirror again. “Helllooo the magicless prefect, turned slightly magical, turned to god-like mage suddenly does that within a year! That's gotta be something!” Cater beams and then looks over at you and sweats.

You were glaring at him, but the mirror in front of you had several eyes also glaring at him. “… Who’s that?” “Who’s what?” “That!” Cater points to the mirror and when you turn to look it disappears. “That's me, Cater, I know I look a bit different since first arriving, but I don't think I look half bad.” You gave an insincere smile.

“My friends are waiting for me Cate, seeya..."

****

You left the hangout early, not liking all the questions probing into your mind or your past at all, in fact you left pretty upset with some insinuations and accusations of your insincerity. “Are we even friends, Yuu?” Deuce frowned. “Have you been lying to us?” Jack glares. You sigh, and walk randomly, no destination in mind. 

“Why aren't you opening up to us?” Ace huffs. “I mean you trust us right?” Ace’s frown turned to offense when he saw you look away. “Dude come on! When have we given you a reason to not trust us?” You snap at him. “Our very first meeting was you insulting me and since then you have been roping me into trouble!” 

Ace looked guilty there. “Yuu…” Epel frowned and Ortho shot a glare at Ace. “Human, Ace may have had a rough meeting but what about us?” “What about you? What about you?” You dragged your hands across your face. 

“There's a lot about you guys actually! From Mr. Don’t-Be-Friendly-Cause-We’ll-Never-be-Friends over here to Mr.Internalized-Racism-Against-My-Kind here! And let’s not forget I-Cause-Half-Of-Your-Problems-And-Sometimes-Leave-You-WIthout-Food-For-A-Few-Days Grim! Yeah I have no clue! It's almost like I tried opening up to you all before but I was brushed off. It's almost like I have been telling you that I have been having these prophetic dreams since arriving and have been telling you about a man living in my mirror and calling out to me constantly! And everytime— every fucking time its nothing or no big deal!”

You wipe away tears. “I have been trying to talk, but nobody's listening. It’s like I’m made to understand and not be understood! I have been having to put everyone else before myself and solve everyone’s else’s problems without a thank you or someone to lean on since day one! I mean, all these blots have given me fucking scars. Physical fucking scars! All while I was being berated for being a weak little human too! And what? I still am expected to bend over backwards for the people that tried to kill me? Everything’s swept under the rug for everyone else but me, huh? No one ever checks on me, hell, I am not even acknowledged half the time when I’m in the same room as someone, so yeah I also wonder why I don't talk.”

You push yourself up and grab your things. “Wait!” “No, no! Leave me alone, for once will you leave me alone willingly!” “Yuu come on! We’ll listen.” You pause. “Yuu isn’t even my name.” You glare. “It isn't…?” Grim asks. “I have been called ‘You’ this entire time here because no one bothered asking my name and everyone assumed it was ‘Yuu’. I don't even get to introduce myself anyways when I do get asked. I am not my own person, and you never made me feel like my own person.”

You walked off. Looking back now you regret it. You’re embarrassed, you sounded so stupid. You wipe away a few tears and feel a presence appear, Cerberus. The three heads nudge and cuddle you as you sob and you can feel the sevens hands all trying to soothe you. ‘There, there’ one says. Let it out.’ Another responds. ‘Poor thing.’ 

“Come on, boy, it's been a while since you’ve been on a walk…” You mutter, and think back to what Rook said to you earlier. Opening up to someone was a Herculean task on its own, but someone understanding you was impossible. Even telling people the truth can get you or them in trouble…

You lead the way down to the Ignihyde dorm. No one in that dorm leaves their room anyways, it's safe for your good boy to walk around there. 

***

There was in fact a certain dorm leader there, who was just as shocked to see you and a giant dog. Idia punched in the number to a snack at the vending machine, turned around and gawked at the giant dog behind him. He then looked over at you.

“Yuu? Is that-? I mean is he—? Ortho said you—… Is that the real…?” Idia sputtered, not sure what  to ask first. “Shut it weeb, no ones gonna believe you.” Idia gawked even more. Since when were you so sassy? No seriously, you were also so overly kind to everyone it unsettled him.

“…Sorry…” you mumble. “You can pet him… he’s… soft…” Idia blinks and offers out a hand. One of the heads sniffs it before nuzzling into him. “Holy shit…” Idia whispers as he immediately starts fawning over the dog.

“Who’s some good boys, who’s some boys? Oh that's a great pupper! Oh yes you all are!” It’s strange to see Idia all smiley to himself, but it’s pleasant. “How did you—“ “I can't answer that.” You respond. “So dont ask…”

Idia goes quiet leaning back from the heads that licked him, his flaming locks dancing behind him. “Ortho said you haven’t been feeling well…” “I haven’t been, not for a while, I guess it finally all came out to the point where it’s noticeable…” “Ah, I feel that…” Idia trails off awkwardly.

“I know we're not friends, but I appreciate you.” Idia mumbles. “You make Ortho very happy, and I love seeing my little brother happy… He says you're like another sibling and insists we would get along. He really wants me to get to know you… and uh.. We don't have to, but… yeah… Thank you, I guess…’ Idia looks like he’s about to die, but he speaks again.

“Ortho says you make him feel human, and that you’ve been helping him learn more about how to find out who he is more than anyone else, more than me, even, probably cause you got out more… He told me you were upset, and he’s worried about you. So uh… please reach out to him?”

“Thank you, Idia…” You sigh. “Yeah I will, I will reach out to him, its not his fault, I just… I just need time to think… I don't even know who I am, or what comforts me…” “Um, I don't know what you like… but uh… actually, give me your number. I know a pretty cool site with a lot of free shows, I think there’s a few you’ll like.” He offers an attempt at a smile. “And also maybe you try a few video games? If you haven’t tried them already… who knows maybe we can play together…” You smile and open up your contacts. “Yeah, I would like that actually…” 

A new contact was added: ‘Gremlin.’

****

Walking off to your dorm, you dare not go in. You don't know if your friends are all waiting for you inside, or if Grims there. You sorta don't want to deal with that right now still. The corners of your eyes catch a familiar sight. Fireflies dance through the night, coming out of the grass and surrounding you.

“Hey, Tsunotaro… Heh, maybe I ought to call you ‘Firefly’ or king of the fireflies, maybe.” You wipe your eyes as you turn around and there he is, your Tsunotaro. You both don't know each other's names, but you don't need to. Tsunotaro and Child of Man work just fine.

“Greetings, Child of Man, it’s always good to see you but…” The fae frowns, “are you alright, Child of Man? You seem troubled…” “I… Yeah I am… I just… don’t know what to do…”

Your friend carefully reaches out to you before retracting his hand. “Do you want to talk about it?” “I think I need a distraction…” “I can do that,” Tsunotaro offers his hand. “Come with me.

You have never seen so many pretty colors before as Malleus casts a few spells, making the forest into the most beautiful light show you’ve ever seen. Mushrooms glow from where they sprout, leaves swirl with beautiful patterns, and the fireflies dance through the sky against the stars. You swear you can hear music from them.

“This is… This is beautiful…” “I am glad you enjoy it,” Malleus watches as you watch each step you take, the leaves below you glowing with each step. “Are you feeling better now?” “Yeah, I am… You know…” you pause nervously.

“Yes? What is it?” “It feels like… you're my only true friend…” The lightshow around you flickers for a moment. “Is that so…” Malleus stares wide eyed. “Yeah… Just… I can be kind to everyone… but I can't be friends with anyone. They all don't really get to know the real me, you know?” Malleus stares off.

“I do know that feeling well… You are my only friend…” You pause and look at him. The lights behind you turn to a more pinkish hue. “That's hard to believe, you are a wonderful person.” “Likewise, Child of Man. I would think someone as kind as you would have much more.”

You sniff, “I’ve been helping so many people, but it feels like…” You sigh. “I have seen the hard work you have put into everything. Not a lot of people can say they have gone through what you have gone through and won. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

Malleus takes your hand. “I am sorry that others do not acknowledge that. I hope those around you soon start to realize what a blessing you are.” You squeeze his hand. “Come on, why don’t we both enjoy this light show?” 

…

..

.

At the very last waltz, your legs feel like jelly, and you cannot tell if it's because of how happy you are or because you've been standing too long. You pull away gently. “Thank you Tsunotaro, for everything.” Malleus nods. “It was nothing. Thank you for being my friend.” He stares off to the sky for a moment. “Farewell, Child of Man, may the night be full of promise for you.” 

The fae starts to fade away and you reach out, using a spell of your own. “Wait…” You hold onto Malleus’ arm making him appear again. The fae looks at you with shock. “You overrode my magic…” Malleus whispers, and his shocked face turns to one of awe and his eyes hint towards excitement. “No one has ever been able to do that… Just what else are you hiding, Child of Man?” 

“I want to give you my name.” “Your name?” Malleus looks shocked once again. “My real name.” “Don't you know of the stories about giving your name to Fae?” “I know them, but I trust you. I know you would never hurt me.” Your expression and voice is so sure it nearly overwhelms the fae.

“You trust me that much? I could smite you with lightning in an instant.” “Then smite me.” Malleus paused and nothing happened. “See? I know you wouldn’t hurt me. You’ve had opportunities this entire time and you haven’t.” “You really want to tell me Child of Man? When I have not even given you my name?” Malleus' voice nearly shakes.

“You don't need to. But if you do, no matter what name comes out, I won't be afraid.” You take his hand, and for the first time since arriving, you introduce yourself, and you tell him your name, your real name.

“I see, what a wonderful name… I supposed I shall finally tell you mine as well.” The fae smiles, “Draconia. Malleus Draconia…” “Malleus? That's not too bad for yourself…” Malleus lets out a laugh at that. “I suppose not.” He smiles then looks off again. “Well then, friend… Thank you for everything tonight. I have not been this happy in a long time…” 

“Good night, Malleus. I hope to see you again soon.”

“Good night, Child of Man…” 

He fades out and you hear Maleficent speak to you. ‘He likes you.’ She says, and you hear a few voices teasing you. You chuckle and find the strength in you to go back into your dorm and confront tomorrow. Rook’s words from earlier echoes through your mind. You have found people you can truly open up to.

[zionworkzs]

Alright, let's talk about this scene in S1 Ep3:

Let's take this line by line, shall we? I added in some stage directions so we can see the acting choices alongside the dialogue (because this scene!!! this scene!! there is so much unsaid and communicated via body language).

*Crowley gets into his car and Aziraphale miracles inside*

C: *surprised*

C: What are you doing here?

A: I needed a word with you.

C: What?

A: I work in Soho. I hear things. I hear that you're setting up a...

A: *looks at Crowley*

A: caper. To rob a church.

C: *looks away from Aziraphale*

A: *concerned* Crowley, it's too dangerous. Holy Water won't just kill your body, it will destroy you completely.

C: *annoyed* You told me what you think. 105 years ago.

A: And I haven't changed my mind. But I can't have you risking your life. Not even for something dangerous. So... *pulls out thermos* you can call off the robbery.

C: *looking at Aziraphale, clearly surprised*

A: Don't go unscrewing the cap.

A: *not looking at Crowley anymore*

C: *looking between the thermos and Aziraphale* It's the real thing?

A: The holiest.

C: *attention fully on Aziraphale now* After everything you said?

A: *nods, still not looking at Crowley*

C: Should I say thank you?

C: *still looking at Aziraphale*

A: *pointedly NOT looking at Crowley*

A: Better not.

C: Well, can I drop you anywhere?

A: No. Thank you.

A: *briefly glancing at Crowley*

A: Don't look so disappointed.

A: *looking away again*

A: Perhaps one day we could, I don't know. Go for a picnic.

A: *looking at Crowley now*

A: Dine at the Ritz.

C: I'll give you a lift. Anywhere you want to go.

*silence, and the longest amount of time Aziraphale looks at Crowley this whole scene*

A: You go too fast for me, Crowley.

*both looking at each other for a beat before Aziraphale exits*

OKAY SO HOLY HECK

I feel like this scene gets boiled down to THAT line we all remember (and we'll get there), but I feel like the whole scene and the context is so so important if we want to understand THAT line.

So the background info:

1862 AD - London, St James Park: Crowley asks for holy water.

1941 AD - London: Aziraphale meets with Nazi agents inside a church. Crowley swoops in to save the day (and the books). We have the magic show and the lovely candelit dinner afterwards.

This scene takes place in 1967 in Soho, London presumably.

So, since 1862 when Crowley first asks, Aziraphale has been thinking about this request of his. Aziraphale presumes in 1862 that Crowley wants the Holy Water as a "suicide pill," and Crowley never corrects this assumption.

So, Aziraphale is under the impression that in 1967 he is giving Crowley a tool to use for his own destruction, if it comes to that.

He goes against Heaven and, from our understanding, steals Holy Water so he can give it to Crowley.

The implications of this are DEEP and COMPLEX. Because this is the FIRST time we see Aziraphale directly go against Heaven without any kind of moral out. He isn't saving Job's children. He's literally defying Heaven to protect Crowley from doing something stupid.

It's a purely selfish action that directly goes against Heaven.

This is HUGE for his character. And as I've talked about a bit in this post, I think by this point, Aziraphale was fully aware he was in love with Crowley.

This, THIS, is proof of his devotion to Crowley. Going against Heaven overtly to supply him with something he believes Crowley will use to end himself.

You can see Aziraphale's guilt and concern in this scene simply through how he choses when to look at Crowley and when to not (michael sheen, I'm in ur walls).

He looks at Crowley concerned when he talks about the church heist. He says as such. That he thinks it's too dangerous. He pointedly DOESN'T look at Crowley once he hands over the Holy Water. Like he can't bring himself to come to terms with what he's done. (Looking out for the person he loves by giving them a means of their own destruction.)

And this little interaction:

C: Should I say thank you? C: *looking at Aziraphale* A: *pointedly NOT looking at Crowley* A: Better not.

He doesn't want Crowley to thank him for what he perceives to be a sin. For giving him the ability to end himself. It hurts Aziraphale to think about. I think, even being in the car near Crowley hurts Aziraphale then.

Then we get the exchange at the end.

Crowley offering to drop Aziraphale off, which the angel denies.

Aziraphale clearly reading Crowley's disappointment and offering a fantasy of the future he doesn't believe they have in an attempt to cheer the demon up.

A: Perhaps one day we could, I don't know. Go for a picnic. A: *looking at Crowley now* A: Dine at the Ritz.

He looks at Crowley for the briefest of moments when he says "dine at the Ritz."

These things that Aziraphale is offering are normal, human pastimes. Nothing grand or overtly romantic. Just, a picnic. Dinner. It goes to show us how deeply Aziraphale loves humanity and recognizes that same love in Crowley (even if their love presents itself in different ways).

He's saying: one day, when I'm not me, and you're not you, we can do the things humans do. We can be simple.

And then, of course:

C: I'll give you a lift. Anywhere you want to go.

Crowley says this line almost desperately. He wants to stay in this moment. He wants to draw it out. This moment where this angel he's befriended cares for him so deeply that he'd risk everything.

I haven't talked much about Crowley in this scene because at this point in their relationship, and I know this is controversial, I don't think Crowley is in love with Aziraphale here.

I talked about it in the aforementioned post, but it's my interpretation of Crowley's character to be naturally distrusting of others. Which makes sense given his history.

I don't think he's in love with Aziraphale in 1967.

But I think he recognizes Aziraphale's love for him, even if only for the briefest moment. He sees Aziraphale's willingness to save Crowley from himself and knows that there is something there.

But he is SCARED. Big scared. And he doesn't know how to deal with the influx of information being presented to him.

And I think he reads between the lines of Aziraphale's words. He hears Aziraphale say: one day, when I'm not me, and you're not you...

I'll give you a lift. Anywhere you want to go. Is Crowley saying: You're saying we have to be different people, but we don't. I can take you right now to a picnic, to the Ritz. Nothing has to change. We can be us.

And Aziraphale says:

A: You go too fast for me, Crowley.

You go too fast for me, you treat life like a speedrun to get to the good parts. Hell, Crowley slept through the 19th century because he wanted time to move forward. Aziraphale recognizes this. He's in love with this demon who won't slow down and appreciate the mundane, human things that Aziraphale treasures. He goes too fast. He never settles down.

And I think this is a gross misunderstanding of Crowley's character on Aziraphale's part. He thinks Crowley is too fast and never settles down. Changes his hair, his clothes, his accent. But the clothes and the hair are all set dressings to Crowley. They are distractions from how set in his ways he truly is.

Crowley is s l o w to everything.

So slow that it scares the shit out of him and he overcompensates by re-inventing his image every chance he gets. He wants to blend in with his surroundings so he can be just like everybody else.

It's a deep self-hatred most likely instilled in him since before his Fall. He was not good enough for Heaven. He isn't bad enough for Hell. He can't even pass as a human because of his eyes. He doesn't fit anywhere.

So he could never fit with Aziraphale.

He doesn't even see it as an option.

Not yet, anyway.

Aziraphale misunderstands this as Crowley being unable to take time and care and put work into things that truly matter. Aziraphale thinks that they can't be together because they are too different. No matter how much he loves Crowley, Crowley is, and will always be, just a few steps ahead of him. He will always be just out of reach.

This scene is Aziraphale's confession and subsequent realization that they can never work.

This scene is Crowley understanding Aziraphale's feelings and his inability to process his own.

This scene is devastating. Because it's another miscommunication. It's a clear example of how these two understand each other, and, even after 6000 years, don't understand each other.

[inkbitten]

TWST THIRD YEARS ON A SNOW DAY.

cater, trey, idia, rook, leona, lilia, malleus. (no vil because i'm not entiiireeely confident writing him yet, sorry. <3)

cater is absolutely enthused when the announcement of classes being closed goes up on NCR's official magicam account. you don't even get to learn the news yourself when you wake up in the morning, because he's blowing up your phone.

ding, ding, ding!

(TXT.) hey, (nickname.) did u heaarrr?

ding, ding, ding!

(TXT.) we have off! :p ur going to visit me right? <3

you feel like you don't have much of a choice. after all, how often does a school of magic have days off due to the weather? scarf wrapped tightly, you brave the walk to the house of mirrors from ramshackle dorm. however, you manage to come across cater halfway.

"thank the seven," he mutters gratefully. he quickly approaches, wrapping his arms tightly around you. "it's so cold! let's hurry to ramshackle."

"to.. ramshackle?"

"haha! riddle gave me permission to go to you. i figured i'd save you the trip. i guess the snow's messing with your signal.. uh, maybe we actually should go to heartslabyul."

trey doesn't get a lot of relaxed days like this. he figures that it would be a nice day to continue his tradition of snow day cookies. but.. too many people are using the kitchen today, so you offer ramshackle's kitchen. after all, crowley finally provided the funds for a much needed renovation.

trey merrily accepts, and gets right down to business. he catches the way you're watching, and offers to let you help him. together, you roll out the cookie dough and use cutters to make little shapes. it's a silly set from the mystery shop- designed as little bats, wizard hats, and wands.

you're so into it that you don't notice your face being slowly caked in powder until you hear him begin to laugh. trey reaches out, gently swiping a portion of flour from your cheek.

"ha.. hahaha! you should be a little more careful, you know."

shishishi.. a day off? perfect! idia now has more time to grind on his gacha games for more ten pulls! he used to pray for days like thi-.. eh? you want to hang out?!

fine. but know that idia doesn't plan on leaving his room today. he invites you in, letting you sit comfortably in his lap while he games. ..you know, he doesn't trust just anyone to do this!

rook is absolutely fascinated with the beautiful way that the snow cascades from the sky, decorating the ground that was flowing with lush grass only a month ago. you can hear his exclamation of 'magnifique!' from the window.

"..oh. that's just rook." you mutter, shrugging as you continue to wipe the window. "wait, what is he doing here?!"

rook doesn't bother knocking as he enters ramshackle dorm. you're already familiar enough with each other after all, no?

"y/n!" he chirps, strolling over to you as if he did not just barge in. "go ahead and put some warmer clothes on. i'd like to take you on a walk."

"a walk..? now?"

"but of course! the scenery outside is a beauty i'd like to share with you in its prime. go on, now." he gently nudges you along, making you believe you don't have much of a choice.

"alright, alright.."

leona is more than content to spend the day lazing about. but, you. ugh.. you. you had to send him that text about hanging out today. how can the gruff leona say no to you?

he ends up outside of your door half an hour after leaving you on read. honestly, you didn't expect him to even open the message itself, let alone show up at ramshackle!

"..leona." you murmur, pleasantly surprised. "come on in."

leona enters, scooping you up along the way. what? his plans today were to relax. i hope you're ready to spend most of the day watching TV and napping, y/n.

you had, unfortunately, not gotten the memo about school being closed for the day. you would have if your phone was charged, but the outlet suddenly stopped working! the weird thing is, the electricity everywhere else was fine..

you arrive to the school, completely prepared to begin the day. but.. the door doesn't open. you shake around the door handle, but to no avail. lilia, who was watching nearby, begins to laugh.

"l-lilia?" you stutter in surprise, staring like a deer caught in headlights. he likes this expression on you.

"malleus was wondering why you weren't at ramshackle. you know that the school's closed, right? didn't you get the email?"

"what? can't they just.. magic away the snow? -why are you here then?!"

lilia lets out another airy laugh. "silver left behind a book he was reading, so i came to retrieve it." he waves his hand, and the door magically opens. "come with me. it's cold out here."

as much as lilia wants to bring silver's book back, being alone together on campus has too many fun possibilities.. why don't you play hide and seek with him, y/n?

malleus is elated when you invite him to ramshackle. he does not spare a goodbye to anyone around him, and instead instantly teleports to ramshackle.

"child of man," he calls, tiers curved into a smile that you doubt will ever vanish from his lips. "what shall we do on this 'snow day'?"

"why.. don't we make a snowman?" you suggest.

"a snowman?" ah, yes. he's made his fair share with lilia, silver, and sebek. "very well. we'll make the most amazing snowman anyone's ever seen."

with that abrupt declaration, he begins to walk outside. too caught up in the moment, he forgets that you still need to put on your coat, scarf, gloves, and snow boots. when you get outside, you find him pacing.

"..mallleus?"

"-oh, right." he clears his throat. "i will begin to roll snow. find us sticks for the arms."

after spending a few hours indoors, you both decide to wrap up by drinking hot cocoa in doors. you yawn drowsily, leaning into him.

"..today was nice."

"yes, it was."

[beneathsakurashade]

ᴋɪᴛꜱᴜɴᴇ ʏᴏᴍᴇɪʀɪ - Tɯιʂƚҽԃ Wσɳԃҽɾʅαɳԃ x Gҽɳʂԋιɳ Rҽαԃҽɾ Chapter 2

CH 1:

“Tell me now that u really like the show”

    You freeze and sigh, muttering various curses under your breath as the Mirror assigns you to Heartslabyul.  You sigh and plaster a fake smile on your features, “Great…so much for being left alone…” you mutter and walk to where the other students assigned to Heartslabyul stood.  You didn’t hate the house, it was just…that it was full, Riddle ensured that no student was held back or failed in Heartslabyul. Due to that the dorm was always full, so that meant you would most likely have to bunk with someone. “Curses…curse you cruel fate…” you curse and join the group.  You think and cross your arms in annoyance Just what I needed, sharing a  room with some teenage boys! As a a kitsune the mere thought of it repulses me.  Not to mention I am a hime! I shouldn’t have to bunk with a human! But I suppose that is what happens when you join a school of mostly humans. “Is there a problem?”  A slightly irritated Riddle asks noticing your annoyed demeanor.  “Of course not Housewarden…” You smile sweetly, biting back the urge to cry out that yes, yes there is a problem. He nods and watches as the strange student with the cat, that was following the Headmage, step up to the Mirror.

“State thy name” The wispy voice demands. “Shion Yuukuro” they reply, glancing nervously around the room. “The shape of thy soul is…nothing, it is a blur, they are utterly soundless, shapeless, blank. There is not even a faint sense of magic from this one. Therefore no dorm would be suitable”. The magicless human flinches at the Mirror’s announcement and stares confused, slowly fidgeting with the corners of their hood. At the Mirror’s words the whole room erupts into a mix of confused what’s? And how’s that possible?! You shrug and stay silent, Visionless humans were ordinary in Teyvat. Yet their confusion is understandable, who would imagine that a magicless human be thrown into a school for the future wizards of tomorrow? “Such an unexpected reaction, that poor child.” You sigh in pity and stare at Riddle “That person bares no magic whatsoever! It’s impossible how they can be admitted here!” Riddle replies in astoundment, turning to face you. “What’s with the nonchalant expression?” You shrug at his question “Fate has blessed this poor soul by throwing them to the wolves, perhaps they will blossom into a flower of evil? Or not, either way is of no consequence to me”. You smile and wait eagerly. Even the Headmage Crowley is at a loss for words “Are you suggesting that the black carriage would send for one without magic? The absurdity! The student selection process has never been wrong!”

Riddle and you watch the chaos as the strange cat at their magicless owner’s side jumps up “Well then, let me take this human’s place! At least I can use magic! Lemme show ya!” The creature smugly cries and spews azure fire to prove his claim. “Everyone, get down!” Riddle commands and takes a protective stance in front of you and the rest of the students behind him. You hear a cry from the side of the room and whip around to see Kalim panicking as blue flames dance around his robe.

You can’t catch his next words as you hear that tailed student from earlier sigh in boredom “Ugh, can I go now? Or…?” Vil responds curtly “Oh? I thought you fancied yourself a hunter. But I suppose that you’re now too bored?” The student quips back “Too much effort for a tiny weasel…”. Azul smiles suspiciously “Allow me to handle this, Headmage Crowley. If none of you are willing to catch this small animal, I shall accept the responsibility”. The floating tablet voices their piece “WTG Azul, ur def not doing this just for participation creds”. “Hey, um, guys? I’m still on fire…could anyone put this out?!” Kalim cries. In response, you bring out your magic pen to cast a spell, though you’re beaten by Shion. Who removes their robe, throwing it on him, extinguishing the flames. “Are you alright? Any burns?” You hear them ask as the other students avoid the flames.

The cat pouts “I ain’t no weasel! I’m Grim, spellcaster extraordinaire!” “You’re nothing but a furry miscreant. I will abide no rule-breaking” Riddle states aiming his magic pen at Grim. “Off With Your Head!” He shouts at Grim and the ‘cat’ sputters out “MYAH! What’re you doin’?” As a heart shaped collar snaps around his neck. Heartslabyul’s Housewarden smiles proudly and declares “The Queen of Heart’s Rule 23: ‘One must never bring a cat to a formal affair’. Your presence here is a direct violation of the rules. You will vacate these premises immediately”. You smile teasingly, “My what an interesting turn of events. Such an interesting spell Riddle, pity it’s used on a little prideful neko”. Grim retorts “I ain’t no cat either! I’ll go burn this collar right off!-Huh? Wh-whats wrong? My fire ain’t working!” Shion walks over to the group after talking with Kalim, and they crouch down to pick Grim up. “H-huh!?” He exclaims as Shion rubs their cheek against his “I don’t care if you have 128454732973 diseases. You’re adorable and I’m petting you” they smile happily. Riddle stares confused before coughing out “Um…Excuse me! That cat has to be vacated from the premises immediately. You need to control your pet better!” Shion pouts “But look at his little face~the only thoughts behind those eyes are about arson. Besides, he’s not my pet” Crowley adds confused “Y-you say that creature isn’t your pet?” Shion sighs in exasperation “Well duh, if he was, his name would definitely not be Grim”. They place the cat down and dust themselves off. “Very well then, I suppose that I shall be merciful and send this creature off school grounds. I’m very magnanimous for sparing this creature from being stew, am I not?” Crowley smiles, though you don’t trust the gleam in the yellow specks behind his mask. A few random students grab the so called ‘spellcaster extraordinare’ and disappear while Shion mutters something about missing the 'poor wittle kitty'. The Headmage keeps his smile on and acts as if nothing happened “Well that was unexpected. I hereby declare that this year’s orientation is concluded. Housewardens, escort your students to your dorms please…wait a minute, where is Housewarden Draconia?”

“Does that surprise you?” The tall student from earlier shrugs while Kalim nods “Wait…did anyone even invite him?” Vil pulls out a small palette and touches up his eyeshadow “If you’re so concerned about him, then you should invite him yourself”.  Kalim reponds nervously “Yea, but I don’t know him all that well either…”  You take note of their conversation and ponder Why would they so casually ‘forget’ about one of the top five mages in this world? That’s just asking for trouble.  Like before, the crowd of students, whisper and mutter about the mentioned mage, “Wait Malleus Draconia actually goes here?” Some ask, “It’s true? I thought my friends were lying!” Others whisper.   A deep voice interrupts the gossip, “Just as I’d expected, he was once again not informed that his appearance was required”.  Your gaze meets that of a short figure with round crimson eyes.  Azul turns to the new figure, “My sincerest apologies, this oversight was not purposeful” You glare at him in disapproval.  Riddle speaks up “You must admit, he’s not the easiest person to strike up a conversation with” You silently disagree with their reasonings, as they were the same reasonings as those who excluded you from social gatherings.  The figure waves off their comments “No matter, all Diasomnia students, follow me.  I do hope that he doesn’t sulk about this”.   You feel for Diasomnia’s Housewarden as you follow Riddle and your fellow Heartslabyul students to your dorm.  Watching as the rest of the students leave with their Housewardens.  Headmage Crowley nods as the students pool out of the room, leaving only himself and the magicless human.  “Now, Mr. Yuukuro, as you are without magic it is unfortunate that you will not be attending Night Raven College.  Therefore the Dark Mirror shall return you home.  Please step up to the Mirror and imagine the place from whence you came” Shion sighs in relief, “Finally I can go home”.  

“Oh Dark Mirror! Return this soul to where it belongs!”

The Mirror stares at Crowley utterly unfazed, well, as unfazed as a mirror can look.

“L-let us try again.  Oh Dark Mirror! Return this soul-”

The Mirror interrupts him mid sentence “There is no such place”

Shion blanks “Did this floating piece of glass just call me homeless?”

“How can this be?” Crowley says aghast.

“There is no place within this world where this should belongs” The Mirror states finally.     The Headmage mutters something about how such a thing has never happened before in his many years of running the school.  “Tell me: From which land are you from?” He inquires to which they respond with their land of residence. “Follow me then Mr. Yuukuro, I am not familiar with that place, we shall discuss this in the library.  I am acquainted with the homelands of all our students”.  “Except for mine apparently” Shion responds.

🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺

Magicless human from another world POV Shion Yuukuro       First, I wake up in a coffin, now I’m being admitted to a school or cult, and now this crow weirdo thinks this cat thing is mine? At least the people here are cute…Last thing I remember I was playing Mario Kart with my friends because we were all procrastinating on our homework.  Now I’m here, wait…WHERES MY PHONE? I panic and check to see if my robe has pockets, I dig through and hastily grab a familiar object.  I pull it out and stare at the black screen of my phone, Are you serious?? I groan “It’s dead…great”.  I place my phone back into my pocket and follow him.  I walk with my hands crossed in front of me “So um, excuse me sir.  What happened?” Crowley turns around and pauses “I have no idea, the Mirror has never before called a soul empty and fit for no dorm”.  We enter a huge library, with shelves stuffed with tomes and workbooks.  He pulls out a map, “Nothing.  Your homeland is not listed on any maps anytime during history.  Are you sure that you aren’t lying to me?” I sigh “Um, Headmage Crowley, I don’t think I’d lie about my homeland to get into a random school” Crowley continues  “Well then,  I suppose that you don’t have any identification with you Mr. Yuukuro?” To which you nod “I do, but my phone is dead, I have my student ID saved somewhere…” you dig around in your pockets “Bro, I only have my phone? I could’ve sworn I had my wallet on me…”.

Crowley stays silent and ponders something, “I see, very well then, it seems that the only explanation is that you’ve arrived from another dimension.  You’re in such a predicament, while I cannot have someone who possesses no magic attend my academy.  Yet, as an educator, I am loath to expel a youth in such desperate circumstances.  Truly my grace is boundless.  So gracious in fact, that I shall allow you to take up residency at a vacant building once a dorm many a time ago.  It possess much character, fit for an otherworldly student! We shall investigate a method to return you home in the meantime.  Dear me, I am a model educator indeed!” I blank and wait for him to finish his humble bragging rant.  I feel like I’m going to be led to a shack or something…I think to myself as I’m led to an archaic mansion hidden behind an opposing black gate.  “Why does this dorm look five minutes away from collapsing with me in it?” I stare confused.  “Now, Mr. Yuukuro-” Crowley smiles and pushes me inside the mansion “You will be safe from the elements in here, now don’t let me see you around campus!” He vanishes in a poof of black feathers, leaving me alone in the barely-standing dorm.  Shuddering from the chill in the air I walk over to a couch and sit down as a cloud of dust surrounds me.  “I guess this is my home now…” I sigh softly and look down and pull out my phone, staring at the black screen listening to the pattering rain against the windows.

🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺

Kitsune Hime POV     “Well that was certainly an interesting turn of events” You smile while following Riddle “Don’t you think so as well dearest Housewarden?” Riddle keeps his pace walking “Yes, L/N, and I do hope that Trey has everything planned exactly according to the rules…” he mutters.  You decide to stay with the crowd and not attract attention by not attending the welcome dinner.  You follow fellow Heartslaybul freshmen into the Mirror Chamber and onto the grounds of your new dorm.  The imposing castle painted white and decorated with bold red hearts rather hurt your eyes, it was confusing, imposing, but interesting.  You sit at the table next to the familiar blue-haired freshman with a spade under his eye.  Surveying the large table for anything appetizing in particular, you settle for some foreign foods. “I wonder what this is…” you ponder and grab a small dish that looks like a pie, along with some salmon. “I’m pretty sure that’s mincemeat pie uh…” the freshman explains and you answer, “Call me Y/N, and are you familiar with this mincemeat pie Spade?” He shrugs “I’ve had it before back home, but my mom would usually only buy it for special occasions”.  “I see” You mutter and start eating.  "It's not bad, quite good actually, I am not used to foods from other countries" you admit "R-really Y/N? My mom said that it's good for a kid to be familiar with other cultures" Deuce says confused.  "Your mother must be a wise woman" You remark and grab another pie, not noticing his smile.  You weren't used to eating food other than Inazuman, since the country's borders were still blocked to other lands.       Later that day you, still dressed in your Ceremonial Robes, walked around the rose gardens in Heartslabyul.  “Benibara and bara only…what a pity…” you mutter walking through a path decorated with rows of roses.  You suddenly hear the soft crushing of gravel under heels as someone approaches “Hm? Are you talking about the roses?” The familiar voice of Riddle asks behind you.  You turn around and smile “Oh Housewarden, yes, I’m simply listing off the names of the rose’s species in my native language”  you shrug and continue walking along the gravel-lined path.  “I see…it’s unlike any language I’ve heard before…” he nods and follows behind you, “My family’s gardens only had flowers native to our land, cultivated by magic, my favorite flora there were the sakura trees. They were my family’s pride and joy…” you admit, bending down to stare at a large scarlet rose.  “Forgive my inquisition, but why is it that you speak of your family’s gardens in the past tense?” Riddle asks watching you with curiosity, ”I no longer live with them, my family cut me off” you answer curtly and continue walking.  

Noticing the mood turning sour you decide to say something “Now…did you come here for a reason? Or did you miss me that much?” You tease and watch as he reddens instantly and coughs out a response “O-of course not L/N-” You cut him off “Do call me Y/N, we’re closer than simply last names aren’t we Riddle?” He looks down and mutters nervously “I don’t exactly suppose so, but I would not mind that…” You smile at his response and pause, still facing away from him, you pull out your phone and check the time, “Why look at that, it’s almost 10 pm.  Isn’t the curfew starting soon?” Riddle’s gaze flicks up “Yes, it is actually, I’m glad that some of the freshman are aware of the curfew”.  Getting up from your position you turn around and teleport in from of him “Until tomorrow Housewarden”.  You whisper and flick his forehead “Chibi Bara Joō” you tease before vanishing away in a cloud of smoke.  You reappear in a familiar hallway and walk to one of the rooms to the side, taking out your key that was assigned to you by the Vice Housewarden Trey Clover.  Opening the door to your new bedroom you see a young man sitting on the bed sketching.  Sitting on the bed with black sheets opposite to your own, he's dressed in the black shirt and pants that were under the Ceremonial Robes.  “Welcome to your new room” he says while you walk over to your bed “Thank you, it’s nice to meet you.  I am Y/N L/N”.  Not looking up from his sketchbook he gives you his name “Mine is Jayden Portella, I’m from the Sunset Savanna.  It’s nice to meet you as well Y/N”.

┏━━━ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ━━━┓ Fun Facts 紫苑 - Shion (Aster tataricus) Meaning remembrance in Hanakotoba Chibi Bara Joo - Meaning small rose queen

A/N: “I was forced to write this for a crazy lady at gunpoint pls help me”

[fictionfixations]

i had a thought

spoilers for up to book 6 (i thought dump. A LOT.)

remember the prologue

i have a thought so im sharing it

question: what does he think we can even do to stop. well. anyone??? nobody really listened to us (considering we're magicless too a bunch of ppl would look down on us) until we became like friends to them n stuff?? well ace and deuce listened to us i think but we were united under a goal that at all costs had to be reached. to not get expelled. (except us i forgot what was going to happen to us. ..cause we're not actually students ??. ACTUALLY where the fuck are our papers? did crowley just. make them up? cause if you need papers to expel someone then you need some written form of proof then. which means each student probably has files for them, like. say. proof of 'hey this person goes to this school' etc etc. what did he do with us? did he just not admit we existed to the government? but literally everyone in the school knows we exist so surely one of them blabbed like. idk. maybe some stereotypical rich brat whose like 'EWW THERES sOME' uh 'MAGIcLESs PERSON COMMON fOLK wHAtever the fuck IN THIS prestigious SCHOOL!' and like idfk like how ig maybe some of the rich think the poor will give them a disease just by breathing the same air as them [actually maybe they could though but like YKNOW what i mean] but like. if we're just completely undocumented, excluding the unexplainable shift of some funds for ramshackle i IMAGINE so we can pay for shit and live then are we not really. documented anywhere else? styx probably has something but uhh. also theres probably a bunch of law violations attached that i cant even be bothered to touch at the moment. also there are magic diseases right? but so they also have immunities to stuff. but we're from a completely different world so we've never had contact with their sicknesses. so like. ...yknow how theres a ban around like this one island i cant remember the name of because if you interact with them you'll spread stuff to them theyve never been in contact before with that you might not even realize u have cause ur immune and they'll die? like its illegal to go there at all, they're living entirely without technology. also they're hostile. you will die if you go there [if you dont get caught by the people patrolling to make sure they stay without contact]. ..i mean stuff has happened outside of canon we can see. its canonical that the overblot peeps have gone to counseling and medical mages. so maybe im making a big deal out of nothing)

im. sorry. i got really distracted i didnt intend to spiral down to papers i meant to talk about something else

so just. listen.

actually about the expelling ^ three as in Grim, Ace, and Deuce. oh (so wait if they got in trouble would we just. ..still be able to stay?? ?? he doesnt even address us?? well actually grim isnt a student yet but theres FOUR of us not three then so ????)

wait sorry how did we get here ?? (why are we involved? i dont think crowley spoke to us at all when he was angry at the others with the chandelier 😭)

the wiki might be outdated a little because it doesnt update itself when dialogue changes, people have to notice it and then take the time to add it if anything changed so this is from

so if anything changed since then well huh

(if he blamed us for not being able to stop two teenagers with magic while im magicless though i wouldve been throwing hands but im glad crowley hasnt gone that far. ..he still put a firebreathing cat into our custody though. ramshackle dorm is very flammable isnt it? is dust flammable? idk. a lot of wood also i dont think they know what fire extinguishers are. youd think someone would deal with the flames during the entrance ceremony besides riddle and azul trying to catch the flame setter. or if we have one its very unmentioned.)

but so considering grim is our responsibility.. i have to ask how we're meant to stop him..?

like so this is before we really bond with him (aka we find him annoying. unless u got attached to him right away which good for you, i dont know when he wormed his way into my heart but he did at one point and i realized it at the end of i think book 5 aka ignihyde teaser) so grim wouldnt really listen to us (looks down on us)

also i dont know about you but burns HURT. ive burned myself a few times but they're not like the really bad ones (i dont know the difference between degrees and i feel like googling it will haunt me in my nightmares). i imagine grim cant shoot fire too far? maybe a little more shorter/mid range? what even is mid range idk (and the reason it lasted to hit the statue was because of ace's wind magic imo)

well either he can control the range or he can only shoot it out so far. so then. we'd be really close trying to catch him. maybe its in one of the twistunes where he's running away. he turns around and shoots fire at you. fucking OW (also its BLUE. i dont know how colored fire works, but assuming its blue because its even hotter than normal fire. um. ow.)

like SIR im new to this world i dont know how things work

its like... like being saddled with a baby after being suddenly kicked out of the house with no warning (and thus without any of your stuff besides the clothes youre wearing. ..but youve also been isolated from the world youre whole life so WHAT theres MAGIC? whats this about strange laws i dont know about-- wait THIS IS A BOYS ONLY SCHOOL? .........THERES FURRIES?) and the baby is VIOLENT

like HOLD on a second let me at least get a source of income first before giving me a being that utterly depends on me to survive (well. grim can probably survive on his own if we assume he's lived on his own for a bit until NRC. but um. ...well theres a reason there probably needs to be a bunch of childproofing for grim.) when i can barely figure out how to survive here

so. i feel i got very sidetracked. but its also nearing the time i sleep so my brain is slowing down on me and my thoughts have veered off the train tracks enough that this is just a whole mess of thoughts spewing out

i hope im making sense but im probably not

wanted to crowley bash because why are you putting me in charge of people probably the same age as me (minus grim) but with an advantage against me considering they have magic and i dont (not to say that people who know how to fight cant beat their asses but like. ...i dont know how to fight so.)

but he also hasnt given me reason to in canon i guess (if anythings happened outside of prologue i have no recollection of it. i just went through the wiki searching for every page with 'bill' or 'expense' in it)

surprisingly fanfiction either turns to 'crowley is an asshole' (and also actually pays attention to yuu and blames them like oh) or 'parent crowley' which speaks for itself (and is very cute in its own right but i also dont like him regardless as i dislike all adults that put responsibilities on children to be fucking idk child soldiers or to fight shit or deal with shit. i mean crowley doesnt go that far but i still dont like him)

those fics though start from prologue and go in order (some include vignettes and events) so i assumed that it followed it close enough to be a recreation but [so and so] but i was wrong apparently

still tho

[champgnesny]

well, sadly i finished the second season of ‘good omens’ a few hours ago and after a really long nap, here we have:

“some things about the second season of ‘good omens’ that really stuck with me and i’ll think about forever and ever (amen)”

• beginning of creation and my baby crowley being just so excited about the galaxy, and stars, and her little jumps and shouts, she’s my silly girl

• crowley protecting aziraphale from the stars rain (or whatever was going on in there) with his wing and later on, aziraphale doing the same

• aziraphale caring about crowley since the beginning of ages is just so heartwarming

• “how much trouble can i get into just for asking a few questions?” my princess just wanted to know what was all of this for, is that so wrong?

• aziraphale thinking crowley was talking about him when he said the stars were beautiful pls

• their little lunches through all the season, at the pub, the cafeteria, the other little french stablishment, etc

• aziraphale panicking while explaining crowley why is there a “naked man” on his library 😭😭

• crowley recognizing “trouble” on aziraphale voice just because they know each other that well

• the amount of times “our” and “we” was used to by crowley and aziraphale themselves, talking as if they could not live without the other (they actually can’t)

• crowley refusing to help aziraphale and aziraphale being like “okay, i can’t make you help me, i’ll be fine” and crowley simply throwing a tantrum just to be back and help him

• crowley’s tantrum, yes, but specially the way he stomps on the ground like a little kid

• their little apology dance lmfao (how much cuter can they get?)

• the way they worked together to make a silly little small minuscule miracle once and ended up being way too extra like it wasn’t that hard!

• crowley introducing aziraphale to food

• also, crowley in the turtle neck (i would’ve also used any excuse to put my hand in his chest like that, aziraphale)

• the magic trick and how the person aziraphale thinks of when they say “trust” is automatically crowley, they make me so ugh

• aziraphale not only stealing the proof photo, but keeping it and showing it to crowley

• crowley actually lending aziraphale his car, like he’s so down bad it hurts (if anyone ever had a doubt of how much love this man has for his angel, then this must say something)

• crowley on the library, carrying books, his little sweater, throwing the books everywhere, she’s just so cutesy, i need to eat her

• aziraphale and crowley being domestic and cute and in love together, my babies

• crowley making hot chocolate for gabriel (plus that one time he went all protective on aziraphale)

• the way aziraphale has a dairy (and probably many other) where he writes about crowley, and he just talks about her with so much love, excitement, cherishing their memories together

• the way neither crowley, nor aziraphale ever deny the gay accusations like they just stare and say nothing because they are!

• crowley following aziraphale everywhere when he was organizing his ball pls

• aziraphale and crowley dancing 💓💓💓

• crowley and aziraphale trying to get nina and maggie together when they can’t sort out their own shit like bffr and talk abt ur feelings instead?

• aziraphale telling nina that he has his own plans but he just lets crowley save him cause it’s makes him just “oh, so happy!”

• crowley’s heaven outfit and the way he was walking like she’s just everything to me

• crowley getting choked up when he tried to say he’d like to spend eternity with aziraphale

• crowley actually willing to talk about it and aziraphale just hitting him up like “hey let’s go to heaven together!” like bro, kindly and very gently, what the fuck?

• the kiss (boy, you needed to talk, there’s many time for kissing later; or there was, who knows)

• “i forgive you” lovely, you have so much audacity but this wasn’t the moment haha! (still love u, aziraphale, i promise)

• “you idiot, we could’ve been… us” i think them telling each other to kill themselves would’ve hurt me less

• crowley in the car, still waiting in case aziraphale decided to change his mind (i threw up)

• aziraphale literally looking like he’s going insane while leaving crowley like he’s genuinely just losing it more every single second that passes

• conclusion, they are very much in love, they just need a break and many, many deep talks about their feelings

“honorable mentions to: the whole gabriel and beelzebub plot <3 it was so cutesy, i love them”

by the way, here’s part one of this mini post series, in case you wanna check it out! ⭐️

[madstheintrovert]

I write to you from 1 am post-good omens season 2… so spoilers

…

…

Final warning

…

…

So besties, I’m devastated. I’m just so. Oh my. Like ok they confirmed so many fan theories… like

- Crowley was someone high up in heaven

- Crowley and Aziraphale knew each other before the fall

- Beezlebub and Gabriel

- Crowley saying he’s not a lad (what is gender to an angel and a demon, especially Crowley)

- ineffable idiots… oblivious or at least need of a good wtf talk about ur feelings mate

- aziraphale being a horrible driver

… I’m forgetting

And they gave us the bullet magic trick and the following card trick that saved their asses. Crowley turning kids into geckos because he’s Crowley and he doesn’t like murdering kids (also him being like ugh haven’t shot a gun in a bit mate). They gave us Shax being like… hm heard y’all’s were an item, couldn’t believe it, you don’t seem his type and aziraphales face… “their” bentley and book shop. More of Crowley being the worst demon.

…

But then. THE KISS. Oh my gawd. Crowley smashing their lips together and holding on for dear life and it clearly really affecting Aziraphale.

But Aziraphale is still loyal to heaven. He wants to see the good… or he just still is a bit of an oblivious optimist.

When those end credits rolled and they showed the side by side I was desperately. DESPERATELY. Hoping there would be this snap and aziraphale would suddenly be in the Bentley with Crowley. But no. No.

Also Crowleys like slight voice crack when they are talking and he’s confessing and all the tears.

And fuck I’m so scared that because it’s another queer show it won’t see S3 but fuck I hope to manifest it.

Micheal Sheen and David Tennant, I love you but fuck. Fuck.

Also now I’m thinking about David Tennant wearing that non-binary pin and Crowley “I’m not, either” - I.e., I’m not nice and I’m not a lad.

Anyways. Fellow queers and allies wallowing in pain after the end of this season plZ let me know of any and all new fix it fics that have helped smooth your soul bc I am so sad right now.

Guess I’ll go rewatch the kiss. And then be sad.

Also Micheal sheen got to fulfill his dream of kissing David Tennant and vice versa so go that for them. (Idk if it’s his dream but based on Micheal Sheen I bet it’s up there)

[kalims]

ok i'm not saying you have to write this but i just came up with an idea. au where the ramshackle ghosts are oogie's kids and they give yuu magic candy in exchange for getting to puppeteer their body. i love the idea of getting to gaslight all of nrc when an oogie boogie statue appears on main street with the other villain statues. like wdym there were only seven, you're forgetting they were actually the elusive eight. you're delirious crowley, how do you not remember the monster under the bed

I've never seen this in my life goodbye BUT I just wanna say I wanna eat ur brain rn. I LUVVVVV IDEAS LIKE THIS, makes use for very comical scenarios LOL

[stringyworm]

I posted 2,448 times in 2022

75 posts created (3%)

2,373 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@transsexualhamlet~

@monzterzack~

@patchyegg87~

@somethingexcessivelyphallic~

@bamsara~

I tagged 524 of my posts in 2022

#thats him!!! thats my babygirl - 85 posts

#pgra2am - 74 posts

#save - 37 posts

#twisted wonderland - 11 posts

#woooaaagggh *eats ur art* - 11 posts

#pgra2am but art - 9 posts

#pinned posts - 7 posts

#me - 6 posts

#art - 6 posts

#ao3 - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#way for him idk what to do because ive never and can’t love anyone that way but i still love him and he’s my closest relationship i’ve had

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ayyyeeee more!!! This time everyones fave octotrio

The whole time drawing floyd i was kust 😳😳😳😳

I want to touch azuls hair so bad. Playing eith hair is my love language and oh my god azuls hair is just!!!!!

The hand on jade makes me want to stab a hand and perserve it so i cja use it for reference. Its too big for his face :( but i mean yk what they say big hands ;)

10 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

#4

Holy shit its saiki’s birthday today?

Cant belive i was almost late to my fav comfort charcters birthday

12 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#3

Diasomnia gang

I…I gave up on sebek dont even ask

But i like how they look!!!! Theyre cute

14 notes - Posted December 2, 2022

#2

i wanna see roro fucking overblot

16 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ok hold on…

Listen. Enma Yuuken. I know hes the mc insert just for the comics and everythings about readerxcanon but please!!!! Hear me out.

You know the little windmill in the top corner. Theres a house next to it. Imagine. Youre the groundkeeper of the school. You take care of the campus when schools out and clean mostly everything and are essentially the school janitor. I have like a fully whole thing in my brain thats been stewing for months because i refuse to be isekaid to another world with magic only to go to school again. Id rather be the janitor honestly i already do that alot. But like my oc (who lets be real is really just my self insert so their personality is my personality) lives in the house near the windmill.

Youre a resident of the twisted wonderland world so you have some magic. Been living on campus and keeping it for 5 years (cooncidentally the same amount of time as leona has been a student) when this guy just appears at school (were going by comics events). But crowley asks you to house him for a bit and you have to agree hes ur boss. (Then the prologue happens and he gets moved to ramshackle as an offical student with an official dorm)

And enma is a stronghearted guy with strong morals. He seems like the type of guy to be duty bound. He was originally supposed to help you with cleaning around the school but was taken off the task. But he still goes back to help you when he has free time…

I am down abysmally for a carefee life where i have a place i can live on my own surrounded by grass and trees and animals and that guy who comes occasianlly to help with work and taste test cake i make myself sometimes.

42 notes - Posted August 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ineffabildaddy]

okay, i read this when i'd just woken up and i was in no condition to respond to it stark naked (yes i'm a naked sleeper, it's very freeing) and bleary-eyed. so here i am an hour later at my desk, having eaten something substantialish, giving the grammy-winning boygenius lp a celebratory spin on my turntable...

first of all, thank you for doing this. thank you, thank you, thank you. i know that the main thing is to explore queer sex in fic as a wider phenomenon (or phenomena as shadwell would say) and i am miles beyond honoured to have provided the source material for that here. you've made so many excellent points, said so many things i've understood but struggled to put into words, and further things i'd never concretely thought of before which i'll definitely be thinking about more going forward!!!

absolutely gorgeously written - the perfect balance of concise and detailed, of sophisticated and direct. you also flatter me and make my fic sound really quite a lot cooler than i tend to think it actually is, which is an added bonus

also - 3-4 hours?! the fact that you care enough about my work and me as a friend to spend that long on anything related to me literally brings tears to my eyes in the best way, truly, thank you. i literally had to stim and then stare into space for 10 minutes before reading when i saw this in my notifications. and then i spent the first time reading it literally squealing and kicking my feet, then the second and third time grinning like a maniac

some thoughts i had while reading:

"No cis-het man has ever thought about eating pussy that way, and if you find one I'll eat my fucking hat" this made me cackle, and also feel grateful for aziraphale's a. intense faggotry and b. his undeniable oral fixation

interestingly, i'm at a point where i rarely find myself using the word 'cock'. i actually use 'dick' 90% of the time purely because i personally find it hotter and more gender-affirming in my own head. in comparing the words 'dick' and 'cunt', 'cunt' definitely sounds harsher on the tongue which is super interesting, bearing in mind what you've explained above

framing descriptions of genitals around my own transmasculine language preferences has been incredibly affirming for me and i'm very grateful that it's received positively

where can i read ur paper on monsterfucking???

thank you for focusing on strawberry scripture so much because i worked really hard on it and i'm proud of it. of all my fics (excluding poems/ficlets), it's the one with the least engagement - which is fine! i only mean that that fact makes it particularly nice to see someone so interested in what it has to say hehehe

"We also slide gently into Monsterfucker territory in "Close (well you couldn't get much closer)" (M/M), where an argument could be made that the most trans-coded element isn't even Crowley's T-dick but instead the presence of a magic angel dildo. (sentences I never thought I'd fucking say but here we are.) There's something deeply transgender about the deconstruction of genital purpose in sex that recontextualizes the gendered body's role in pleasure." i'd love to hear you talk a little more about this, if you're interested? and anything else that you may want to further talk about tbf

i actually have this persistent preoccupation with the way i write porn, in that i worry i don't describe the visceral sensations that accompany penetration, oral, or whatever it is in enough detail. i tend to focus more on what else is happening - as you've said - while trying to establish why the penetration in question feels good, how two people are fucking. i've often seen this as a creative failing and so your words here are a major comfort to me!!!

also, i spent yesterday evening preparing to finally start writing a 'swap' fic where demon!az gets to play with demon!crowley for a day and angel!az gets to fuck angel!crowley at the same time. i spent this prep time worrying that i wouldn't be able to do justice to the concept (read: worrying that i wouldn't be able to make it as hot on paper as it is in my mind). this labour of love has reassured me that i can do it, because the stuff i've written so far has clearly been so well-understood and so greatly appreciated. i'm just in absolute shock about it all, still

i'll be linking back to this piece in my masterlist post. i don't know how i lived without it before it existed and i'll be reading it every day henceforth. i spend most of my free time writing fic and thinking about fic and talking about fic and i'm impossibly happy to get confirmation like this that other people are getting plenty of use out of it and having fun with it

again, thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!!!! i love you

Deeply Transgender and Vividly Pornographic: a deep dive into what makes a fic queer

This is a response to the wonderful @ineffabildaddy making this post, which it was originally going to just be a reblog to but once I started approaching a thousand words it was a bit unwieldy so we're just going all the way. If second base is reading their fics and third base is actually talking to your mutuals, I have no clue what this is.

Here's the prompt text that started it all:

Alright, well I am nothing if not a scientist (narrator voice: they were, in fact, a humanities major), so I spent several hours of my weekend putting this together because I'm a burnt out academic and this is the enrichment in my enclosure. Readers, this is going to contain experpts of some very spicy stuff, so stop here if you're not interested. Me bringing porn? To your tumblr dash? It's more likely than you think.

All fics and such referenced will be linked at the bottom of the page.

~~~

Heteronormativity and cisnormativity, while unfortunately the dominant norm for mainstream pornography, make little appearance within the fandom writing spaces I myself spend time in. That's not to say I haven't read my fair shair of painfully straight smut in my lifetime, but simply that I have taste and am lucky to be neck deep in a fandom with very little of it. Nonetheless, as a card-carrying queer and writer myself, I consider myself quite familiar with the distinctive traits and patterns of queer and cishet pornographic writing. Beyond merely a focus on non-male pleasure or the subtle presence of queer or trans characters, the characterization of queer fanfiction is distinct and has entirely different mannerisms in dealing with conceptions of the body and pleasure. I'll primarily be citing Ineffabildaddy's work, for the sake of a focused analysis, who I will henceforth be referring to as Sam for the sake of pseudo-academic flow.

There are certain linguistic patterns that tend to distinguish heterosexual and heteronormative depictions of sex from queer ones. For instance, "cunt" is utilized sparingly within heteronormative contexts for its vulgarity and added obscenity, whilst queer writers use it pretty universally and without the same subtext. Throughout his writing, Sam works with this queer-coded vocabulary pretty consistently. In "Strawberry Scripture" (F/M), he describes how "Crowley's cunt... was damn-near swollen" and how Aziraphale has to resist "Bury[ing] his face in it immediately." No cis-het man has ever thought about eating pussy that way, and if you find one I'll eat my fucking hat. Likewise, vocabulary for the phallic tends to veer in the direction of "cock" over anything else. Interestingly, this creates a set of contrasting pairings. Heteronormative slang, from my obvervation, is more likely to use 'dick' and 'pussy', and, especially in conjunction, it creates a very distinctive mouthfeel that separates the two and poses them as opposites. 'Pussy', in particular, has a much more feminized feel when juxtaposed against 'dick', favoring much softer consonants and the english diminutive 'y' ending. 'Cock' and 'cunt', in comparison, have a very similar sound and feeling to them, distancing itself from hetero-cis-normative gender dualism of the language. There is, of course, plenty of nuance to this and the use of a variety of language in subverting cisnormative ideas about the sexed body as well, with phrases like 'boypussy' and 'girldick' being rather essential to the way many trans people describe their own bodies. "Fandom's Pornagraphic Subset," (yes I'm stealing sources from my research paper on monsterfucking, suck my dick) an article published in 2021 by Silja Kukka, describes how the "fleshy, hyperbolic descriptions of sex" that characterize this kind of writing are essential to what she dubs the "[creation of] a new genderqueer place outside of the gender dichotomy"(57). If you read enough smut, you know exactly what this is talking about. For example, in "Despite Knowing Better,"(F/M) we get vivid imagery to describe the way "streaks of her spit oozed from her mouth even as Aziraphale fucked it"(Ch5) and of "her walls quivering and clenching around him."(Ch3) This level of graphic sexual depiction goes beyond what would be considered 'tasteful' or 'sexy' in a heteronormative concept of pornography.

In terms of tropes, let's do a deep dive into "Strawberry Scripture"(F/M) to find what makes it queer beyond it's apparently straight pairing. To preface, this fic involves both foodplay and monsterfucking, but we're only gonna analyze one. The inherent queerness of monsterfucking is actually something I've written an entire academic paper on, so I suppose I'll start there. There's something very queer and often very trans about subverting the standard playbook of sexual acts, and while kink itself can easily be heterosexual, most monsterfucking falls far outside that category no matter what genital configuration those involved have. Monsterfucking tends to reject the phallocentrism of heteronormativity and mainstream kink by subverting the concept of the human body itself, giving inhuman and monstrous qualities to characters usually for sex appeal or general kinky shenanigans. While there's an argument to be made for heteronormativity still being able to creep into certain spaces, that certainly isn't true for this fic. There's something intrinsically transgressive about creating an erogenous zone out of a feature that would largely be considered horror or 'gross' in any other form of media, which is exactly what Sam does here as he describes the "cool, satiny sensation that the plates of her scales against his tip engendered." The scales are not merely called apon for their invocation of the unusual but to give them an eroticism in and of themselves, with Crowley reaching orgasm through their stimulation. We also slide gently into Monsterfucker territory in "Close (well you couldn't get much closer)" (M/M), where an argument could be made that the most trans-coded element isn't even Crowley's T-dick but instead the presence of a magic angel dildo. (sentences I never thought I'd fucking say but here we are.) There's something deeply transgender about the deconstruction of genital purpose in sex that recontextualizes the gendered body's role in pleasure. It falls into the same semiotic revolution and reclaiming of the body as the changes in language used by trans folks to rename and reidentify the literal physicality of the body by ones own standards (ie T-dick).

Another major trademark in departing from heteronormatized porn is the shift in narrative focus away from penetrative sex. That is, even in paragraphs where the main sex event is penetration, it rarely takes up even half the prose. The majority of narration is focused on surrounding or tangential actions: "the flowing movement of ... hips was sedate and wanton and lusciously provocative,"(1) "watching the muscles which resided there tense and relax alternately with pleasure,"(2) "his tongue stole past his teeth and slid over them,"(3) and "he whispered, his voice aching and curling and stretching for her"(4); all excerpts pulled from moments in which penetration is taking place, yet the concentration is anywhere but. Likewise, the act of penetration itself only takes up a small portion of physical sex acts in the grander scheme of Sam's writing. Instead, we as readers are presented with a vast spread of cock-sucking, pussy-eating, fingering, teasing, frottage, kissing, and more. Contrast this with the cis-hetero norm, where penetrative sex is the endgoal, and any other action is shucked aside to play second fiddle as mere foreplay. It's the reason virginity as a concept is directly tied to the mystical hymen and one's experience with penetration; a straight girl can suck dick a thousand times and still consider herself a virgin. As such, in a piece of pornographic writing where I have significant trouble finding lines to pull specifically and exclusively describing penetration (seriously, try it out yourself), the heterosexual influence is negligible. And yes, I'm talking about all of them. I had to restructure an entire argument that focused on comparing lines from different works because it was so difficult to find them.

So, in conclusion, Sam, love, there is not an ounce of heteronormativity in even the "straightest" of your writing. Congratulations.

Links, in order of reference:

Strawberry Scripture (3)

Fandom's Pornographic Subset, article by Silja Kukka and a great read

Despite Knowing Better... (4)

Close (you couldn't be much closer)

Many Different Ways to Eat an Oyster (1)

I'm Beginning to See the Light (2)

Author's notes, and then I promise I'll leave y'all alone: Hi! This started as a short analysis but quickly became a three(?)(maybe more?) hour labor of love analyzing the things I love most about both Sam's writing and the writing in this community as a whole. Please please please ask me questions, I'm an autistic little bitch and I like knowing things. My ask box? Open. Comments? Open. Reblogs? Open. If you've read this far, I fucking love you and I am kissing you on the mouth right now. Don't worry, my gender is just queer so it's gay no matter what. <3<3<3

[hiilikeanimelol]

welp I didn't know chapter 7 released until 3 days after the YouTube translations came out and I binge watched the whole 1hour and a bit video so here's a massive ramble!

malleus' voice return! I love his voice sm im

sebek getting annoyed at us calling him tsunataro kenjeeje and silver was just 🤩

sebek couldn't be any further up malleus' arse but I love him despite this 'you're heart is wider than the sea' get a grip my dude please

silver telling him to apologise in the true older brother way which is most likely to just embarass him

I MISSED LILIA MY BABIE GET UR SELF TO CLASS

silver tried to wake him 3 times my god, someone get lilia the device in Wallace and gromit to wake him up (me too tho)

yay we got invited to diasomnia!

(wheres malleus' bedroom)

the side characters being rude imma kick their asses

Crowley and his never ending rambles have returned

FIND US A WAY HOME MATE

I love the cater and trey duo

archeology and geology really popping off todayyy

sleepy leona what an icon

and cheating leona! even bigger icon

idias actually voice 🥰

his parents had a go at him for chapter 6 I'm shitting tears rn

orthos transfer makes me weep

Aaaand malleus having a mental breakdown over 3 months

lilia dropping out, he just like me fr

ortho u smort little shiet

really didn't let Jack consent did we huh?

shouty man now in cafeteria

lilia with no magic...sounds like a skill issue to me

GRANDPA IS IMPATIENT

pouty malleus

poutyeus

mallepout

ITS RAINING MEN HALLELUJAH

Great, lilia is a horder

FINDING SILVER AND THE RING IM EMOTIONAL

sebek really got emotional over an axe

Great lilia chops trees with it

madman

let the sleepover commence!

fuck u riddle

malleus making it snow

malleus is so depressed why does no one talk abt this

LONG HAIR LILIA

PLEASE SIR JUST LET ME HAVE ONE KISS

poor malleus my baby I don't want to leave him

[merakiui]

I’ve just read ur most recent yan crewel post. I really liked the last idea where they were rivals then crewel got a love potion in his drink. I think it’s really cool concept. I can imagine the reader to be confused at what’s happening (sorry if this doesn’t make sence- English is not my first language)

The idea of Crewel always being so terse and in an eternal foul mood whenever you’re around to him suddenly acting soft and slightly delirious with love as the potion takes effect (flushed cheeks, being short of breath, wide, dilated eyes...)!!!! It’s really good. One of his students dumped the entire vial in, which has drastically different effects compared to the effects from a single drop. Crewel goes from hating your entire soul to crushing on you to obsessing over you in the span of a few hours, and you’re very unnerved because he’s never been like this around you before. He even tried flirting with you earlier despite the class looking on in both horror and shock as they witnessed the unthinkable (Crewel shooting his shot). What’s worse is that he even locked you in his office at some point during the day and you had to force your way out using a ruler. 

You can guarantee the student(s) who pulled that prank will be severely punished once the effects have worn off and Crewel’s back to his normal self. He offers an apology that sounds genuine but doesn’t exactly feel genuine, as he avoids your eyes when he apologizes. If anything, he blames those foolish pups and his inability to recognize their schemes right away despite being an alchemy teacher. Rest assured; this will never happen again. And he leaves it at that. At least he bothered to say something. He even gave you a pastry (your favorite, coincidentally) as part of the apology, so that’s something. Crowley shares the sentiment when he extends a formal apology on behalf of Crewel and the student(s) who thought it wise to prank a professor. 

There’s no denying that the incident has certainly...changed the course of your rivalry. Crewel seems to watch what he says to you when the two of you find yourselves attending the same fashion shows and galas. He even complimented you once! How strange. But when you live in a world of magic, mischief is bound to occur every now and then.

[floral-poisons]

Can i get some hcs of how they would initiate hand holding? If thats not too scandalous for you 😳 also take ur time and take care of urself! 😡💖 aggressively cares about you

hand holding is never too scandalous my dear anon!! i would love to make these head canons for you! and don't worry. i am taking good care of myself! treating myself this valentine's day season because no one is more important than me lol. but these were very fun and cute to write so i hope you enjoy them!

NRC STAFF

dire crowley

not gonna lie, it definitely happened when one of the students overblotted. you were on the scene as fast as crowley and the sudden surge of magical energy had him reaching for your hand and gripping at as tight as possible. he was afraid you might blow away (even though you yourself were strong enough to stay grounded).

ashton vargas

ashton started holding your hand after going on a run. it was a quick jog for the two of you and you guys saw the sunrise at the beach. a cute moment between the two lovers. and he just reaches over slightly and gently holds your hand which contrasts greatly to his muscular physique.

mozus trein

it was a long time ago when the two of you held hands for the first time. but mozus remembers it like it was yesterday. you guys were just studying, looking through the books. and he reached over and held your hand as he turned the page. the gentle squeeze you gave back reassured him that he made the right move.

divus crewel

divus was all about pda when he was younger. now that he’s older, not so much. it’s definitely a lot more toned down than it used to be. but he loves holding your hand, feeling your skin against the leather of his glove. he just will hold your hand randomly because he wants to hold it. it gives him a sense of peace and stability.

sam

honestly, it probably happened on accident. you were just helping around the shop when he called you over to talk about something. and then he just grabbed your hand as he led you to the back to show the items he needed to restock. you were quite flustered when you saw he was holding your hand.

DIASOMNIA

malleus draconia

malleus being the shy person he is isn’t one to initiate hand holding that often. and usually it comes in the form of something like intertwining your pinkies together. something small and subtle. but the moment he full on holds your hand is during a small date between the two of you. and it’s just the two of you.

lilia vanrouge

lilia’s been around. he’s familiar with the intimate gesture of hand holding. unlike a lot of his peers, he’s a lot more casual about it. he holds your hand whenever he feels like it and the grip is also very strong. it just happens and you’re not mad about it either.

silver

silver keeps his hands to himself in public. but when the two of you are in private, that’s when he becomes affectionate with you. the first time you held hands was in the forest. you were just walking around and you began wandering to another direction only for his hand to grab yours. “wrong way.” he mutters, guiding you to the right direction.

sebek zigvolt

sebek easily gets flustered and embarrassed and it’s funny to watch his cheeks flare up when you hold his hand out of the blue. he usually objects to it but squeezes your hand showing that he really likes the physical affection he’s receiving from you. rarely does he initiate it but when he does, it’s usually when you’re walking around.

HEARTSLABYUL

riddle rosehearts

riddle being sheepish and one to abide by the rules is not familiar with hand holding. he absolutely does like it. but when he holds your hand, his face is red. seeing him blush means he’s gathering up the courage to hold your hand.

trey clover

trey’s a lot more casual about it than you would think. he’s definitely someone who likes hand holding but he has a lot of stuff in his hands which prevents him from doing it often. but he likes to hold your hand when you’re waiting on line in the cafeteria. he just grabs your hand too which isn’t opposed by you.

cater diamond

cater LOVES pda. he will absolutely show off him holding your hand at any opportunity. it pops up on his magicam for sure. he just nudges your hand with his like a puppy and you’ll roll your eyes and nod. he’s so excited when he gets to hold your hand too!

ace trappola

ace gets embarrassed about hand holding. he doesn’t want to admit that he’s worried about your safety. but it happens a lot when you’re in danger. he’ll just hold your hand and hold it tight. when you question it, he mutters a lame excuse that you obviously see through.

deuce spade

deuce coughs out of awkwardness when he holds your hand and you notice, teasing him about how sweet he is. his cheeks and ears go pink when you say this. he likes to feel that you’re close to him, that you’re within reach. it reassures him that you’re safe.

POMEFIORE

vil schoenheit

even though vil, when pining, is very touchy, he tends to avoid holding your hand. it’s an intimate gesture. a very intimate gesture. and it doesn’t happen until after you’ve been dating for a while. he claims he doesn’t want to ruin his manicure but you know the real reason is that he’s a little wary of intimacy. the moment he takes your hand happens in the hallway and it’s surprising to say the least. you’re just going to class. but the squeeze you give reassures him that he’s safe to be vulnerable.

rook hunt

rook’s one to be really sly about holding your hand. you don’t realize that the two of you are holding your hands until you look down and see his fingers intertwined with yours. the first time you held hands was definitely at a fireworks show. he just felt like it. and he holds your hand A LOT after that.

epel felmier

epel’s definitely down for physical touch. he seems shy but in reality, he’s not afraid of pda. it probably happened after flight classes. he said you did really well today and just wraps his hand around yours, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “you might be better than me at this point.” he jokes while grinning widely.

SAVANACLAW

leona kingscholar

leona doesn’t like pda. he’s just not the type to really like it. the man prefers to keep his hands to himself and for you to keep your hands to yourself. that only makes the moments he holds your hand a lot more precious. it happened purely by coincidence when he was sleeping too and he was holding your hand while asleep.

ruggie bucchi

ruggie’s a sucker for pda, especially hand holding. he finds it’s a very intimate but small gesture that isn’t overly romantic. it can be platonic too. generally though he holds your hand while walking to places. sometimes he’ll even run and drag you along with him.

jack howl

jack, i would imagine, is a very affectionate partner. but like he’s also slightly embarrassed about it. he likes keeping you close and he definitely likes holding your hand. it just happened when you guys were in alchemy class. he gently holds your hand as he takes notes.

OCTAVINELLE

azul ashengrotto

azul’s not one for handholding usually. the times he does hold your hand is very rare and usually something serious has to happen in order for him to grip your hand. the first time he did it, he was nervous. he was proposing a new menu and instinctively gripped your hand in order to calm his heart beat.

jade leech

since jade is very formal, it would take a while for him to hold your hand. when he does, he only does it in private. it’s going to take a lot of time for him to be comfortable showing pda. it happens between a small intimate moment between the two of you. you decided to come foraging with jade and while climbing up the mountain, he holds your hand as to not lose you.

floyd leech

floyd’s holding your hand right off the bat. it doesn’t matter if you’re together romantically or not. he needs to drag you places and he’s grabbing you by the hand to do it.

SCARABIA

kalim al-asim

kalim is very touchy feely. he loves physical touch. it’s something that he craves. so like right after you guys start dating you hold hands. hell it even happened on your first date. he just took your hand and intertwined your fingers with his. it was comforting and it made you feel butterflies.

jamil viper

jamil, i would imagine, isn’t one for affection. he likes to keep his personal life under wraps for the most part. but after getting to know you more and becoming more comfortable with physical affection and pda, he takes your hand. it probably happens during a mundane moment of getting lunch in the cafeteria and you both are waiting on line.

IGNIHYDE

idia shroud

idia would initiate hand holding quite early on in the relationship. and it’s because you guys went outside. he needs a sense of comfort and there’s no one to provide a sense of comfort than you. with your hand around his.

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

okay listen.

- crowley is down on his luck on his wandering the world bender due to grief and shit. he ends up somewhere in like. okay either America the city of cheesiness or somewhere famous for having magical folklore idk. anyways he’s drunk at and somehow ends up stumbling into a fortunate teller’s place (I was tempted to make it Tracy but ehhhhh we’ll see the identity doesn’t matter much)

- it’s not anyone we know. we barely get any descriptions of this person we have nooo idea what they look like but we can get a good idea that the place around them give off Genuine Bad Vibes. like genuinely magical and genuinely bad

- but they convince crowley to take a reading. a quick one, free of charge. you look depressed, man. he really doesn’t wanna be here he’s a demon he doesn’t need a fortune teller he knows how his future is going to go but he’s drunk so therefore he’s like okay I’m doing this now

- and he sits and crowley starts going off for a bit about What Happened without prompt but only gets up to ‘my friend went to heaven’ before just Closing Off About The Angel (it was a very brief moment of weakness)

- like he actually realizes where he is and is like. okay we’re rolling with it but I won’t be happy about it

- anyways the fortunate teller understands this. and they begin; asks for his name, what he does for a living,what he’s doing here…..

- and crowley lies his ass off. fake name fake age he doesn’t give them Anthony he’s just Lying and the Teller (we’re calling them the Teller now) just plays along (they know the truth we can tell)

- and then the reading starts. takes out the tarot cards. they start reading it all off—confirming all his worst fears etc etc etc that life is just gonna get harder and he has to keep fighting and he’s gonna cry a lot but that doesn’t matter! you’re still here! huh.

-crowley takes it Badly. he starts off on his Own Sorrows and he’s just infodumping and he’s getting more and more riled up and incredulous and honestly? being in a seedy apartment somewhere in the middle of rural America drunk and numb is better than being in heaven. at least there’s that comfort. and he talks about how he never really thought he was unlovable like he’d be sort of expected to be because he KNOWS aziraphale cared, he knows he did, But he didn’t love him enough to stay. ‘for the last few years, not really.’ now he’s really starting to believe the unlovable part. he’s… going through it.

- the Teller clears their throat like ‘wowwwww so ur Traumatized. like deadass. well I’m gonna need to pull out the big guns.’ So we do reading hand lines next

- …and they find the same thing. grief, tears, strife, fates. an extremely long life line, broken up but clearly the same line. the love line swirls in all weird ass places. it shouldn’t be natural, but that’s crowley for u.

- they go through many methods of divination but it ALL SAYS THE SAME THING. this shouldn’t be fucking possible. damn dude you’re doomed by the narrative. Sorry lol

- and crowley. crowley. well, he kinda knew anyway. still not very reassuring. he gets up to leave, but the Teller stops him—but they don’t really know what to say. they can’t just let him leave, which he’s very inclined to do. it feels wrong. so they burst out the closet thing they can think of—can you at least tell me your name?

- crowley pauses. grips the bottle he’d brought tighter. takes a long, hard sip. what’s the point in lying?

- the teller scoffs. ‘no, I said your real name.’

- crowley is confused. he said crowley. ‘eh?’

- ‘that’s not your name. that’s what you use. what was your first one?’

- crowley says crawley, the teller shakes their head again. ‘no, the first one. Before at the beginning.’

- it takes a second for him to get it. ‘that angel fell a long time ago,’ he says. ‘you don’t need to know.’

- and being the dramatic bitch he is, just Walks out. the Teller rolls their eyes, and shuffles their tarot cards once more. odd bastard. more functional than most drunkards. they look back down at their open deck—the star card is faced up on their table.

- huh.

i was just doing work and. *bangs fist on table* now I wanna write a post season 2 fic about crowley going to see a fortune teller based on the song prologue by chase petra