#cross x tahny

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

Broke ass hoe.

Thankyou to @sandcoffiin for the suggestion!

[still-nix-d-goffic]

Nix, thank you for being my number one fic ride or die. I really appreciate all the support you give my silly little endeavor! I hope you had a nice holiday, here’s a quick little something something I made of the shenanigans Tahny and Cross might have got up to last night. ( couldn’t help the Hunter- Lil T rivalry there)

Here’s to more fun in the year ahead🥂🥳💋💕

Eeeee thank you thank you!!

That's so perfect!

Tahny will be very annoyed when he takes the wet button up off. Lmao.

[loaksky]

— 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒔𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 & 𝒊 | 𝒆. 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒎𝒔

mean neighbor!ellie x sunshine fem!reader, angst / fluff / hurt + comfort, modern!au warnings: language / 18+ content (mdni!), wc: 5k

you have a hot new neighbor…too bad she doesn’t want a thing to do with you!

tagging those who commented / liked my previous interest post!: @loversreligion , @tahni-04 , @parrotpeggy , @acnologiasgf , @maybe-cece (happy birthday gemini queen ! <3)

an — first time writing for ellie ! content warnings include oral (r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving). not my first time writing 18+ content, but my first time posting eeek. i apologize for the person ellie has turned me into lmaooo. feel free to send me more ideas, blurbs, hcs, etc.

neighbor!ellie who moves in on a hot sticky july day.

ac’s busted in the common areas, elevator hasn’t worked in weeks, and she’s moved into a unit on the fifth floor.

neighbor!ellie who’s admittedly too far gone and incredibly irritated because jesse keeps fucking around and they almost drop her flat screen on the third flight of steps.

neighbor!ellie who finally gets most of the boxes and furniture settled and doesn’t even get to collapse on the couch for .2 seconds before someone’s knocking on the door.

yanks the knob so hard, the door rattles on its hinges.

eyes narrow when she sees you, all neat, not sweaty, dressed in an outfit definitely not indicative of a night in. only makes her even more annoyed because she just wants two seconds of peace.

“yes?” her tone is sharp, gaze bored because your lips part thrice before the words are spilling out.

“i know it’s miserable out, and this building can be a piece of shit, so i made some blackberry tea!”

neighbor!ellie who gives the glass, beaded with condensation, a brief glance before crossing her arms over her chest.

“i’m allergic to blackberries,” ellie says flatly.

your round eyes widen impossibly before tucking the glass behind your back.

“oh fuck, i’m so sorry,” you babble. “i have peach! or maybe mint? i—”

“i’ll pass.”

neighbor!ellie who doesn’t beat around the bush and makes a move to close the door because she hadn’t even checked into the conversation.

“if you ever need anything, i’m right next door!” you chirp. “i’m-”

“yup, yeah, got it. good night.”

and the door is shutting in your face.

neighbor!ellie who’s trying to sleep in because she stayed up all night playing tekken 4 with jesse jolting awake when she hears three soft raps against the front door.

has an inkling of who it could be so she’s only mildly surprised when she sees you standing on the welcome mat that says ‘no weenies allowed’ because jesse thought it was the funniest thing (ellie’d been only slightly amused).

“morning,” you smile.

you have a plate covered in foil in your hands and ellie gives you a brief onceover to find that you’re dressed to the nines again (admittedly it’s just a simple sundress, but the red and white ginham cuts at the meatiest part of your thighs and she has to remind herself to keep her eyes up).

“it’s…” ellie trails off, glances at the clock on the oven to find that it’s not even 9am. “…8:52am on a saturday morning.”

“it is,” you agree, extending the plate to her. “i, uh, hope you’re not allergic to pancakes?”

“…i’m not.”

you beam.

“great!”

you’re shoving the food in her hands before she can decline and ellie finds that the ceramic is still warm.

neighbor!ellie who awkwardly holds the plate up to you as a silent thanks and shuts the door in your hopeful face.

“i gotta give it to you williams, didn’t think you’d pull within 24 hours,” jesse mutters groggily from the couch he’d helped her lug up the stairs yesterday afternoon.

“oh fuck off,” she huffs, tearing the foil from the plate to find a five-stack of fluffy pancakes with two cute little strawberry-shaped containers that has butter and syrup respectively.

“who’s it from?” jesse asks, even though he knows the answer.

“girl in 5a.”

first bite in and ellie’s eyebrows raise because wow, that’s damn good.

jesse swipes a bite despite ellie’s protests and they polish off the matching plate that she puffs a laugh at because there’s a strawberry bandit painted in the center and in shoddy lettering says, “this is a strobbery”

neighbor!ellie who surprises you by washing and returning the plate later that evening, muttering out a quick thanks before ducking back into her apartment without another word.

she leaves you blinking, staring at the space she was previously standing in a moment prior before you smile and shut the door because god ellie is so hot.

neighbor!ellie doesn’t expect it to become a routine, but more often than not, you’re knocking on her door at any given hour with snacks and she’s surprised when, a week and a half in, she’s had to do minimal grocery shopping because you’re always feeding her.

little does she know it’s because you’re looking forward to the brief moments that she’s unintentionally banging on your door to return your plates and dinnerware.

neighbor!ellie who’s a mechanic and brings your goodies to work sometimes and gets teased by the other mechanics because they think she has a girlfriend.

neighbor!ellie who after revealing she works in a garage starts opening up her front door to little reusable bags with cute notes and food puns if your schedule’s don’t line up.

neighbor!ellie whose schedule does end up frequently aligning with yours and you end up taking the same elevator down.

“morning, ellie,” you greet, smiling softly at her despite being up at the asscrack of dawn.

neighbor!ellie who yawns, takes the lunch you made for her gratefully and walks with you to the elevator.

“morning, 5a.”

neighbor!ellie who could get used to only seeing you in the fifth floor halls, however, after a few weeks, you stumble upon her in different circumstances.

you’re usually out on your balcony in the early mornings to water your plants and drink your tea or coffee, but today’s been exceptionally rough at work (you’re, surprise, a café owner) so you step out to take a deep breath late in the evening after your shift.

you definitely don’t expect to find ellie perched on a stool flicking the ash from a blunt over the railing.

“‘sup,” she hums, taking a long pull.

“hey,” you sigh.

“long day?” she humors you.

the two of you don’t really have much conversation because ellie’s always finding ways to cut interactions with you short.

and it’s not particularly because she doesn’t like you, but she’s caught the vibe you’re giving off and she doesn’t want to give you any unnecessary hope, especially after such a messy break up with the last girl.

(it’s definitely not because something about you makes her nervous).

so she doesn’t really expect you to spill, but one moment you’re debating whether or not you should divulge and the next you’re talking a mile a minute about how draining the job can be especially when employees end up being unreliable and the customers are impatient.

ellie’s gone through the entire joint and you still haven’t stopped talking and she doesn’t want to be mean, especially because you’ve been so nice to her since she’s moved in, but the high is wearing off because she’s too focused on finding an out of the one-sided conversation.

“you should come by,” you say, once you’re done babbling. “to the café, i mean. bring your friends, i’ll stay open a little later for you guys.”

that catches ellie’s attention after she’d zoned out.

“i— you don’t have to do that,” she says. “and i mean, we’re all pretty busy and—”

“no, no!” you say sweetly. “i insist! i wanna test out a few new seasonal recipes and i’d love some opinions!”

ellie’s wracking her brain, but you’re looking at her so hopefully and you look too cute with a few strands of hair falling from your updo. she really doesn’t want to give in, so she gives a lukewarm response instead.

“i’ll, uh, get back to you, i guess.”

you’re grinning.

“try to clear saturday night!” you tell her. “sometime around 9:30!”

ellie opens her mouth to give one last protest, but you’re standing from where you’d been leaning against the railing.

“it’ll be fun!” you tell her. “night, ellie!”

neighbor!ellie who really doesn’t want to go because she feels like it’ll only add fuel to the fire.

the beginning of the week rolls around and you decide that this’ll be the week you’ll finally ask ellie out.

you figure that ellie’s just really quiet, isn’t the one to really put herself out there, so you wanna take initiative.

you’re thinking of all the different recipes you could try because you really wanna wow her and her friends.

little does ellie know that you’re lowkey agonizing over saturday and it’s all you can think about: what you’ll wear, what pairings you want to present, how you’ll decorate the cafe.

meanwhile, ellie’s trying to find a way out of it and jesse’s not any help because he keeps teasing her about how she must be broken for not wanting her hot neighbor who has a glaringly obvious crush on her.

everyone on the whole floor, possibly even the whole building knows. hell, even the doorman knows (and it’s definitely not because you stop to chat with him frequently when you walk your little beagle, apple, and ellie becomes a frequent topic of conversation).

neighbor!ellie who starts avoiding you because she fears that her being receptive to your kindness is giving you the wrong idea (definitely not because you’re growing on her and you’re becoming a part of her daily routine).

neighbor!ellie who sees you twice the entire week, doesn’t answer the door when you knock, stuffs your cute little post-its about saturday somewhere in the back of her junk drawer, smokes her blunts on the roof to avoid running into on the balcony.

neighbor!ellie who spends most of her time at the garage with jesse and her coworkers in efforts to get home after you do.

you figure that maybe she is really busy and you shouldn’t have been so pushy about the tasting, but you’ve grown to really like her and you can’t give this up without officially giving it a shot.

neighbor!ellie who ducks out of her apartment when she knows you’re out on saturday and leaves her lights off, so you’ll know she isn’t home.

neighbor!ellie who spends the day with jesse and his girl and gets invited to a kickback on the otherside of town.

neighbor!ellie who’s about two joints in and a couple shots out, so she’s crossed by nine and you completely slip her mind.

you’re on the other side of town, about a block from your apartment, waiting in the cafe for ellie.

you made such a pretty spread of lavender matcha cookies and lemon muffins. used your special espresso roast to brew a delicious batch of coffee to make a few lattes.

you’d even bought flowers from next door, decorated the table and light a few candles.

it’s 9:45 and you think that she’s gonna be late, but time’s passing and the pastries are going stale, the coffee going lukewarm.

it’s 10:30 when you start losing hope.

probably 11:30 when you blow out the candles, box up the treats and throw the espresso in the cooler for some iced coffee tomorrow morning.

you should’ve seen it coming, really. she did say that her and her friends were typically busy. and she hadn’t officially confirmed it with you either so you were being rather presumptuous anyways.

you decide that maybe you’ll just drop them by her place tomorrow and ask her to lunch!

it’s about midnight when you walk up the sidewalk and see that her LEDs are on in her room. it vaguely smells like weed so you figure she’d been smoking a little.

you don’t wanna bother her so late at night so you enter your own apartment, set the box on the kitchen island before padding into your room to get ready for bed.

you should’ve seen it coming, ellie standing you up, but what you don’t see coming, or hear, for that matter, are the muffled moans through the paper thin walls.

you’d been used to hearing ellie cuss at her video games, heard her getting better at playing the guitar, bickering with jesse over who got to be who during smash bros, but this was new.

you’d never heard the voice before, pitched and whiny.

your cheeks warm because whatever ellie’s doing must be good. you can’t even find it in yourself to be relieved that ellie was interested in girls. you’d initially been scared that maybe you were reading into it all wrong.

regardless, obviously you’d read everything way way wrong because ellie’s mouth is filthy and there’s no misconstruing the fact that she’s fucking someone six ways to sunday and you can hear every gory detail.

your stomach is churning because it’s been weeks and you couldn’t even get ellie outside the fifth floor’s hallway.

it’s obvious they’re thoroughly enjoying themselves and the hurt and envy that kindles is an ugly sight to see.

you end up sleeping in the living room that night.

neighbor!ellie who chases the girl out the following morning after a nasty hangover and finally coming to terms with the fact that she’d brought someone home last night.

neighbor!ellie whose stomach drops to her ass when someone knocks on the door a few minutes later and she thinks it’s you, but it ends up being jesse.

“jesus, did 5a do that?” he asks, referring to your apartment number in regards to the fresh hickies blooming up the column of ellie’s throat.

“god no,” ellie says. “how many times do i have to tell you, that’s never happening.”

neighbor!ellie who would never tell a soul that she’d been imagining a certain someone the night prior.

neighbor!ellie who doesn’t want to think of anything more than being your neighbor because she’s locked in this lease for the next two years and she’d prefer to not shit where she sleeps.

(yeah, that’s totally it).

“dude why not? she’s obviously so down bad for you,” jesse chuckles, pushing past ellie.

she huffs a breath, defensive.

“god, i don’t know how she isn’t embarrassed, it’s fuckin’ pathetic.”

oh—

you’d heard jesse’s voice, then ellie’s, and figured you could give her the pastries you worked so hard on last night.

you’d always thought that ellie was just naturally aloof, kept to herself often, but last night was the coffin and this morning was the nail.

in the stillness of your apartment, jesse and ellie’s voice carries through the thin walls.

“i mean, you could just fuck her a couple of times, get it out of your system?”

“god, look at her, there’s not a casual bone in her body.”

“you can’t run away from her forever, yknow?”

neighbor!ellie who thinks to herself that she’ll try anyways.

neighbor!ellie who doesn’t have to try, because you become an enigma after that.

it’s the middle of the week and she hasn’t had to even try avoiding you once.

you haven’t knocked on her door since the week prior and it makes her brows furrow.

neighbor!ellie who starts feeling bad for standing you up, but feels infinitely worse when she goes to dump some of her trash and finds the carton of pastries you’d baked.

they have your café’s name emblazoned on the logo and she vaguely remembers you chattering about trying lavender in one of your recipes.

she sees the purple food coloring and her heart sinks because why are they in the trash? :(

realizes that she’s fucked up and that maybe she should just be completely transparent with you.

neighbor!ellie who hesitantly knocks on your door and waits patiently for you to answer.

hears shuffling on the other side, but you don’t open up.

neighbor!ellie who tries to convince herself that you’re just busy! work is stressful right now and you’re keeping to yourself.

but you two end up bumping into each other on the elevator (she’d been lurking), and you give her a curt greeting because you’re polite and you realize that ellie doesn’t owe you anything.

“apple’s got a haircut,” she observes, leaning down to pet the pup.

“yeah,” you hum.

“she looks cute,” ellie compliments.

“thanks.”

neighbor!ellie who’s not used to you icing her out, so she takes the leap.

“hey, i wanted to apologize…” she trails off. “about saturday. i shouldn’t have flaked.”

“s’okay,” you say simply, watching as the numbers painfully descend. “you were busy.”

a blanket of silence.

“i’m sure the pastries were great,” ellie tries again. “we could always—”

the elevator dings and the doors part.

“have a good day, ellie,” you say softly, tugging apple by the leash to leave the lift.

neighbor!ellie who swears she hears you sniffling on the other side of the wall later that night, but tries to convince herself that you’ve just got allergies.

neighbor!ellie who thinks of every excuse in the book to try and talk to you, but she ends up freezing because fuck, have you always been this pretty?

neighbor!ellie who buys a succulent and puts it on her balcony. she tries to catch you in the mornings when you’re watering your plants, but it seems like your schedules just don’t align anymore.

neighbor!ellie is frustrated as fuck because she’d been avoiding getting attached, but you don’t knock on her door to deliver snacks or talk her ear off anymore and it drives her absolutely nuts.

neighbor!ellie who gets teased infinitely more at work because her coworkers are now convinced that there’s ‘trouble in paradise’.

“jesus christ, you’re actually pathetic,” jesse rolls his eyes over breakfast one weekend.

“dude, she just…” ellie lets out a frustrated sigh. “i just—”

“you miss her,” he fills in.

ellie turns red.

“fuck you, i don’t—”

“it’s okay to admit it, yknow?” he says. “she’s a lot different from your exes. she’s genuinely sweet, in it because she really likes you.”

ellie swallows, lips pursing.

“you’re soft around her,” jesse observes. “you think that if you give in, she’s gonna uncover parts of you you don’t even let me or joel see.”

“fuck you—”

“for someone who likes bitches you—”

ellie groans.

neighbor!ellie who goes home and rolls a joint because this limbo is stressing her out.

and FINALLY! you’re watering your plants on your balcony when she slides the patio door open and slinks outside.

you don’t say anything to her, just continue watering.

she slumps in her folding lawn chair, kicking her feet up on the railing to feign nonchalance, but you haven’t blinked an eye at her and she’s annoyed.

“been doing alright?” she asks finally.

you freeze for the briefest of moments before glancing at her.

you’ve got bags under your eyes and your lips are pursed and ellie’s heart squeezes.

“yeah,” you answer simply. “fine.”

ellie hums.

“how’s work?”

“same old,” you say, turning your back to her to tend to the plants housed on the other side.

neighbor!ellie who doesn’t know what to say. who’s so used to trying to break conversation, not make them.

neighbor!ellie who fidgets because you’re making her nervous. you’re usually so sweet and smiley, but this side of you makes her gut churn.

neighbor!ellie who bites the bullet.

“i’m…i’m off on sunday…” she says, scratching the back of her neck. “if you wanted to— i dunno.”

your back straightens and she thinks you’re gonna bite, but you glance at the sidewalk below and shake your head.

“you don’t have to pretend, you know?” you say softly.

it’s like a punch in the chest and ellie’s scrambling.

“no! it’s—” she realizes she’s shouting. “it’s not like that, i—”

“i’m a big girl, ellie,” you tell her, that stupid little strawberry-shaped spray bottle squeezed tight in your hand. “if i was annoying, you could have just said that.”

and god she feels so fucking awful because this entire time, you’d just been trying to be nice to her. it was a harmless crush and—

“i don’t think you’re annoying,” she argues weakly. “can you…can you look at me, please?”

your head tilts up and ellie realizes that you’re trying to stop yourself from crying.

“god, i really am pathetic,” is your watery whisper.

ellie’s crossing the balcony, fully ready to climb over the railing onto your patio, but you’re quickly dashing away the tears and throwing the sliding door open.

“goodnight,” you tell her, and you’re sealing her out in the humid air.

neighbor!ellie who’s in knots because living next to someone she used to see everyday fucking sucks now that all the two of you are reduced to is straining extra hard to hear your shuffling from the other side of the walls.

neighbor!ellie who stands in front of your door sometimes, wanting to knock, but feeling like she doesn’t deserve closure with you because it’s all her fault.

neighbor!ellie who realizes that the very awkwardness and discomfort she was avoiding to begin with could’ve been avoidable had she just been up front with you.

you were sweet and you were understanding…mature. you would’ve probably taken better to honesty than ellie blowing you off and lowkey being an ass to you.

neighbor!ellie being scolded by jesse after a couple of days pass because he’s beating her ass at smash bros without even trying and it’s hurting his ego.

“are you seriously gonna keep moping over 5a?” he asks after the fourth round won.

“i’m not moping,” ellie grumbles.

“oh c’mon dude,” jesse moans in annoyance. “you and 5a have this dad with four kids who doesn’t want a puppy but ends up loving the shit out of the—”

“i do not love her,” ellie barks.

jesse smirks.

“that’s all you took from that, ellie, seriously?” jesse scoffs.

“i mean, it’s not like there’s much that can be done, anyways,” ellie grunts, tossing the video game controller onto the coffee table’s surface. “she fuckin’ hates me and i don’t blame her.”

“5a does not hate you,” jesse sighs. “her feelings are just hurt, but you can fix it.”

“and how’s that?” ellie crosses her arms over her chest.

“you’re a smart girl, you’ll figure it out.” jesse grabs the discarded controller from the coffee table and shoves it into ellie’s chest. “now put your all into this next round, i’m still gonna beat your ass.”

neighbor!ellie who’s never felt more nervous in her life.

who’s standing a block away from the café you own with a little gift bag and a bouquet of flowers.

neighbor!ellie who’s used to effortless relationships and casual situationships.

neighbor!ellie who’s scared shitless that she’s making the wrong decision giving in like this, but maybe jesse’s right and you’re just what she needs.

neighbor!ellie whose hands shake the entire walk up to the café.

she sees you with your back turned towards the door, probably doing closing inventory or something of the like with the way you scribble quickly against a clipboard.

you look so in your element with your apron tied tight around the narrow of your waist and perhaps now’s not the appropriate time, but your work pants look exceptionally great spread over the—

“i’m sorry, but we’re closed for the evening,” your voice sounds when ellie opens the front door and the chime tinkles against the glass.

“i’ll make it quick,” ellie says quietly, paper wrap around the flowers crinkling as she shifts on her feet.

you whirl around with wide eyes, almost dropping the clipboard when you find your neighbor standing in the middle of your café.

she looks so good in a fitted brown button up rolled to the elbow to reveal the whorls of ink decorating her forearms and skinny jeans that are way too good at highlighting the muscles of her thighs.

“ellie, what are you doing here?” you ask, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“i was, er, in the area?”

one of your eyebrows raise.

“well, is there something i can help you with?” you ask, eyeing the flowers and the giftbag in what ellie can only read as disdain.

it’s like the day you two first met all over again but the roles are reversed. her lips gape once, twice, then three times as she tries to find the words. but ellie’s never been good at talking about how she feels, at being vulnerable.

“i have to close up,” you prod, tone tired. “and whoever you’re visiting after this is probably waiting.”

the words after are a silent insinuation.

god knows i did.

you’re turning on your heel and ellie knows she’s losing you.

“i like you.” she says suddenly.

you freeze, fist tightening mercilessly around your clipboard.

“that’s not funny,” you say stonily. “you don’t have to make an ass out of me for having feelings for you, ellie. i get it, it’s hilarious that your dorky neighbor has a crush on you, but you don’t have to drag it. i’m—”

neighbor!ellie who’s always thought that you talk a tad too much and sets the gifts on the nearest table before crossing the distance between the two of you.

she’s towering over you and you’re looking up at her with furrowed brows as she pries the clipboard from your fingers and kisses you without another word.

“wait, wait,” you whisper, pulling away from her momentarily.

her lips chase yours, one hand splaying over the small of your back as the other cradles your chin.

“i’m sorry,” she says quietly. “i didn’t—”

“i don’t understand,” you admit. “you…you and your friend were—”

ellie shakes her head vehemently.

“i was being stupid,” she says quickly. “it’s—” she sighs. “it’s a long story.”

“but the night of the tasting,” you start. “you brought someone home…i heard you.”

ellie closes her eyes in defeat, rolls her lips as she presses her forehead against yours.

“it was a mistake, you have to believe me,” she pleads softly. “i was drunk out of my mind and high as hell and—”

she stops talking when she sees the expression on your face, notices the way your fingers hover.

“you have every right not to entertain this,” ellie swallows. “and i know i’ve been awful to you, but i…i really like you 5a.”

your head tilts down and ellie’s leaning forward in an effort to keep the eye contact.

“i’m not good at stuff like this,” she confesses. “obviously.”

you breathe out an involuntary laugh.

“but you’re different, really different,” ellie says. “and you make me feel so fuckin’ weird—”

you flinch.

“a good weird!” she assuages. “it’s good. and i really wanna try things with you if you’ll let me.”

you look hesitant, but ellie’s hopeful and you’ve always been a sucker for green eyes.

18+ BONUS

neighbor!ellie really wanted to take things slow with you after officially winning you over, but she can’t really help herself.

she takes you out a week after your heart-to-heart in your café, a nice restaurant you’d chattered about during your elevator rides to the lobby, and she’d been so close to making it through dinner and keeping it appropriate, but the dessert the two of you ordered had strawberries.

needless to say, when you’d taken a bite into the candied fruit and the juice curved down your jaw and slithered between your cleavage, ellie threw a wad of bills onto the table top and dragged you out of the restaurant.

didn’t make it far, ended up at the edge of the parking lot in the back seat of her car with two of her fingers knuckles deep in your heat while she swallowed your moans whole.

neighbor!ellie who takes you to hers after you cum twice and she tastes you for the first time.

“fuck, angel,” she whispers against your clit. “pussy’s too good.”

the sight is a devastating one, your skirt bunched around your waist and your top discarded somewhere on her bedroom floor.

one of your hands bunches her sheets in your fist, the other threaded through her brown hair as she eats you out like she’s absolutely starved.

“that’s it, princess,” she eggs you on, stuffing her fingers and curling against the walls of your spongy cunt. her tongue is sloppy against your little bud and your dulcet moans are buttery soft, absolute music to her ears.

that night seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back because she can’t get enough of you.

especially not when you wear that red and white gingham sundress you’d worn the second time the two of you met.

neighbor!ellie who spends so much time in your apartment now, likes to especially when you’re baking because you wear that stupidly tiny dress in your stupidly tiny kitchen and it takes every ounce of self control to keep her kisses on your exposed shoulders appropriate.

you start kneading the dough and she can’t keep her hands to herself, hooking her jaw into the crook of your neck as her fingers dance under the hem of your dress and ghosts the seam of your thighs.

“y’look so pretty,” ellie hums, tongue darting to lave at the juncture of your jaw and your neck.

“wait, ah!” fingertips trace over your mound and a semi-giddy, semi-disbelieving laugh rumbles from ellie’s chest when she finds you aren’t wearing any panties.

“you’re a dirty girl, angel,” she bites, one arm securing around your waist, the other toying with the slick coating your inner thighs. “what happened to getting work done?”

all you manage is a breathy cry when ellie skips the formalities and taps your clit roughly.

“el—ellie!” you whimper, one of your flour dusted hands wrapping around her wrist as your back arches and your ass presses into her hips.

your body stutters when you feel something nestle between the pert cheeks of your ass.

you throw a surprised look over your shoulder and ellie’s already grinning lazily at you as she continues kissing all over you.

“surprise,” she whispers.

neighbor!ellie who’s so gone. who still constantly gets teased by jesse and her coworkers. who wasn’t willing to admit it at first, but wants absolutely everything to do with you.

neng © 2023

[plzfeedmebread]

Resplendent

word count: 1220

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x Female! Metkayina! Na'vi Reader Tags/warnings: Fluff, angst, bittersweet, established relationship, adult reader, adult Neteyam, no smut Summary: Neteyam quietly watches you from the shore as you perform a ritual dance in the water, to the utter delight of your daughters.

Author's Note: Set some time after the big battle. Also moved those events further ahead. You and Neteyam are mated and have children before the RDA attacks the reef. Got inspired by the song~

Sa’nu - mum, mommy

Tahni - bioluminescent freckle

Close your eyes.

Deep breathes.

Remember the moves.

Remember the words...

Your heart thrums in your chest almost painfully. You take a deep, slow, calming breath; placing a hand over your heart.

“Sa’nu? Are you okay?”

You open your eyes, looking down to meet the gaze of your youngest daughter. The cool water of the sea comes up to her neck. Sweet thing. You told her, she and her sister could watch you from the shoreline. But they were persistent to be as close to you as possible. The water barely reaches your hips.

You offer a soft smile, reaching down and affectionately stroking her hair.

“I’m okay…Don’t worry my little star. Mommy’s just nervous.” The 5-year-old beams up at you with a toothy grin. Your 6-year-old beside her pats you on the arm.

“You practiced aaaaall the time! You got this.” She offers you her own encouraging smile. You give her an appreciative nod before facing the shoreline once more. You return your face to neutrality, closing your eyes once again.

You hear the disturbance of the water as your daughters move a bit to the side to give you more space to move.

With one final calming breath, you open your mouth and begin the song cord of your family.

---

Neteyam stands under the shade of a nearby tree on the shoreline. His arms are crossed as he watches the three of you.

The evening breeze carries your voice to him. He stands up straight when the sound hits his ears.

When you sing, it reminds him of the melody of birdsong in spring. No matter how many years may pass between you two, every time he hears you play the instrument of your heart, he feels like he could fall in love with you all over again.

He takes in your form as you start swaying in the water, admiring you from top to bottom.

Your hair, thick and long, reaching all the way down to your knees; you and your sisters spent what must have been hours, braiding it into the intricate patterns now adorning your head.

Even from this distance, he can still make out the faint markings of the tattoos framing your face. Though today you also have a thin line of white painting the centre of your face. You could have mud smeared all over and he would still find you to be the most beautiful woman; you have him convinced you are blessed by Eywa herself.

You arms move slow and with purpose through the air; attuned with the words as they fall from your lips.

Your soft lips.

How he wishes he could kiss you right now.

You dip down, submerging your arms into the water. In one fluid motion, you rise back up to your feet, the motion you perform with your hands and arms bring water up with you as you rose. Your arms are stretched out to your sides as you pirouette.

Neteyam’s heart skips a beat as he watches you, and it’s as if time itself slows, just so he can drink in the beauty of your very being.

With your back to eclipse, your front is cast in shadow.

The water falls around you in a shimmering curtain of rain. The last light of eclipse hits the smooth stones woven into the fabric on your chest; causing a cascade of colours to dance across your skin. And when the sun disappears, your tahni come to life like the brilliance of dawn.

It’s one of his most favourite parts of your body. Though you had the scattered stars as did all Na’vi, for reasons he attests only to being blessed by Eywa, you have thin bioluminescent swirls weaving itself around your arms, chest, and all down your legs. To him it’s like a faint galaxy glittering in the night.

He recalls fondly the memory of him knowing each and every star on your body intimately.

And in the fading light of the day do you shine before him. Resplendent as you are in the day, so too will you dazzle the world around you in the darkness of the approaching night.

His heart throbs something fierce when you open your eyes after dipping into the water once more. Even behind the curtain of water, or the netting of the fabric draped over your head, your eyes glow with a fierceness he knows all to well. It pierces his very soul, a warmth sweeping over him.

He drinks you in more as you bend your form this way and that. He wishes he knew the intricacies of your dance; understood what each fluid motion meant, the significance of each swish of your tail, or the ways you angle your hands and bend your fingers.

You close your eyes as you near the end of the cord song.

As you perform another twirl, you playfully swat the water with your thick tail, splashing your daughters.

Their uncontrollable gigging brings a smile to your face. You open your eyes as you continue to dance, giving them a loving look. They’re splashing each other with reckless abandon as they try to imitate your moves. You can’t help the unrestrained laughter their antics bring you.

Neteyam laughs quietly to himself as he watches his girls playfully flay about in the water. Every day since their birth he’s given thanks to both you and the Great Mother for blessing him with such miracles. He hadn’t thought it was possible to love something as much as he loved you.

He feels a stray tear fall down his cheek. But he doesn’t move to wipe it away. Instead he continues to smile as he watches your song and dance coming to its conclusion.

You turn to face the horizon, and his gaze drifts to his girls.

They’re singing something he can’t quite make out, but he loves the sound nonetheless.

And when their eyes meet his, finally noticing his presence, they wave at him wildly, giggling all over again.

His smile grows wider, and he offers them a small wave back.

---

One final pose, and you hold the final note of your song, eyes still closed. You hold that note until your lungs and throat burn.

You hear the excited cheers of your daughters as they shower you with praise. Your breathing is laboured as your heart pounds in your chest, but you offer them a bow and a small smile of gratitude.

You turn yourself to the horizon before you finally open your eyes. The ritual dance has come to and end.

You rub the cool ocean water on your cheeks, in your neck, and down your arms; all in an effort to cool you down from your laborious activity. You breath deep in from the nose, and slowly exhale through your mouth, calming your rapid heartbeat.

The girls still giggle beside you, resuming their unrefined dancing; now also singing their favourite lullaby in lieu of a songcord.

Sufficiently cooled off, you turn your head to your daughters to admire them in their silliness.

Your brow nits in slight confusion though, when you see them waving at something behind you, giggling all the while.

You turn around, curiosity in your eyes.

But the shoreline is just as empty as when you arrived.

---

Author's Notes: It was a private funeral dance 😢

[tiyawnyana]

Kinktober: Day 27

Anal

A/N: hiiiiii I like how this one went but not entirely pleased with it but wanted to get it posted

Pairing: Neteyam x (fem) Omiticaya reader x Ao'nung

Warnings: threesome, slight nipple play, oral (fem received) fingering, oral (male received), cumming in mouth, p in v, p in a, creampie

¤¤¤

You had hoped that the night of your celebration, the night you had.. fun.. with two certain navi wouldn't have been the last. But all good things must come to an end.

At first, they treated you normally. Greeting you fondly, respectfully even. Then Neteyam started to withdraw, and with him went Ao'nung.

You'd thought that after they had cuddled you throughout the night that maybe that wasn't it.

But you were glad, in a way. It was an amazing opportunity, a great first time with two people that held your heart. It even proved to help you get more confident, and it seems that multiple young males and females of the metkayina noticed this too.

You began to get gifts at random, more fish brought to you at the big meals, and even new arrows crafted.

Now that one was impressive, you only hunted with your bow up in the mountains behind the village, so that one took some thought.

But because of this new attention on you, it meant that those two individuals had noticed it all. They noticed the lingering touches, the stares, the talks.

So when you're heading back to your marui, carrying a basket of fresh fruits just gifted to you, the last thing you expect was to be bombarded as soon as you step into your home.

"What the-" you gasp, jumping as arms wrap around your middle from behind.

"Hello, yawne," the raspy voice of Ao'nung speaks fondly, kissing your shoulder blade.

You shiver, tail flicking hard between his legs.

"Tahni," Neteyam speaks softly, standing before you. He steps forward, reaching out as soon as he's close enough to cup your cheek.

Your ears are perked up, shock evident on your features,"Hello, what are you two doing here?"

Ao'nung exhales through his nose, then presses soft kisses to your neck,"Just wanted to visit, is all."

"Ao'nung," Neteyam stares at him blankly before turning his gaze to you,"We.. missed you."

Your gaze widens slightly before narrowing, and you pull yourself out of Ao'nungs hold.

"Why the change of heart? You had made it clear it was a one night thing.." You walk further into your marui and place the basket down then turn back to them.

They share a look, then turn to you.

"I do regret how I handled it afterwards.. it was not respectful to you," Neteyam speaks soft, ears pinning back to his skull with a grimace on his features, looking away in guilt.

Ao'nung nods, opening his mouth to speak, before closing it and looking away.

"It was a great time," you start, and you notice their tails flick, ears perking slightly,"It should remain a one time thing. I do not wish my heart to be tampered with."

"It- it wouldn't be! Tahni," Ao'nung starts, taking a small step towards you,"We.. we talked it over and we really would like to try. Neteyam- he's an idiot."

"Hey!" The sully boy smacks his friend, hissing lightly.

"It's true! He was stuck on the whole 'I can't mate with my sisters best friend', the skxawng."

Neteyam looks away in embarrassment, crossing his arms over his chest.

You snort at that, shaking your head. You know you have a light blush across your cheeks by this point.

"So, what changed? Was it the few people asking for courtship?"

You turn around, picking out the fruit until you find the one you'd craved, turning back to them as you bite into it. The juice drips down your wrist, to which Ao'nung spots.

He swallows thickly.

"Yes- no, it's complicated-"

"Not really," you interrupt him, chewing into the fruit again,"What is it, jealousy?"

They share a look. They're silent, and you chuckle.

"I told you, I do not wish my heart to be tampered with," you look away,"Please do not lead me on with false hopes."

"We wouldn't," Ao'nung steps closer, only a foot away by now and he reaches out to gently touch your arm,"What we feel is real, and that night- it was incredible. You were.. you took us so well."

His voice is a purr by the end of it, and you can't escape that shiver down your spine. You'd be lying to yourself if you said that you hadn't thought about that night constantly.

Neteyam is next to step closer,"we'd like to try with you, keep having this relationship, if you'll have us."

You gaze at him for a moment, thinking it through.

It is putting your heart on the line.

But it feels worth it. You had been craving their touch since that night- you made up your mind.

You glance back up at them. Heat coiling below your belly, tail flicking suggestively behind you. The grip on that fruit tightened, juices dripping down your forearm as you held it up to your lips.

"Don't make me regret this," is all you say, and Ao'nung pounces.

He grabs the fruit from your hand, squeezing it accidentally and more of the juices drip down your front, a sticky line down your chest. He's quick, though, lifting your arm to lick up the mess up to your wrist while maintaining eye contact. You huff out a heated breath, shuddering quietly.

Neteyam steps forward to your other side and cups your jaw, angling you his way and sealing his lips over yours in a hot and passionate kiss. It's sweet, messy, he licks into your mouth and bites your lower lip, his hips jutting into yours. You can distinctly feel the growing length below his tewng.

He pulls away and you gasp, only to be gripped and turned the other way and Ao'nung kisses you frantically. It's overwhelmingly dominant, he controls it from the get-go and it muffles the strained moan as you feel Neteyam untying your necklaces and licking over your nipple, collecting any juice that dripped down there.

Ao'nung pulls away, following the sully boys lead and sucking over your other nipple. You bow forward, moaning shakily at the differing pleasures, but then suddenly it's gone.

You try to speak, but gasp as you're grabbed, lifted, then walked over to your bed by Ao'nung. He's quick to drop you onto the blankets and pillows, yanking down your tewng and spreading your thighs.

You nearly shriek out a moan as he descends quicker, hand spreading your folds and mouth connecting to your clit.

"Oh, fuck!" You bark out in surprise, eyes wide at the ceiling before gradually bringing them down to his.

Your thighs try to close, but he's gripping the back of your thighs and draping them over his shoulders.  A weak, punched out breath is pulled from your lungs when he licks at your hole, groaning at the taste of your slick.

"Eywa, I missed this," he nearly moans into you.

Neteyam has been watching, slowly peeling off his tewng and stroking at his cock.

"Look at how needy she is," he coos, sitting down to cup your jaw,"Missed us, didn't you?"

You nod weakly, and he grins, before shuffling closer and prodding his cock towards you. When you don't budge, a teasing glint in your eyes, he forcibly opens your mouth by the grip at your jaw, pressing his cock into your mouth, pressing further in until you nearly choke. His hands tangle into your hair and you whine as he uses your mouth and throat for his own pleasure.

The man between your legs presses two fingers into you, quick, and your hips roll up into his face as he drills them into you at a rapid pace, spreading you.

The cock in your throat spears almost roughly, hand tight in your hair and your breath was running out. Your chest burns but you continue to  wrap your tongue around the underside of his cock.

There's a point where Neteyam drags your face to take his entire length until your nose presses against his navel. Your throat tightens as you swallow around him, and your chest burns hot when he holds you there, fondly stroking the stray hairs from your face. It feels like an eternity, throat full of his cock before he finally yanks you off. You gasp for breath, vision hazy.

"Hold your breath," is his command and you listen, especially when not even a moment later he's pressing your mouth back onto his cock down to the hilt and holding you there.

You're already too numbed out with pleasure to realize Ao'nung had slipped his fingers out to coat them in an oil, prodding at your asshole and gently pressing in. You jerk, body tightening around the digit and groan around the length down your throat.

Neteyam grunts, panting harshly and dragging you off, allowing you a moment to breathe again before dragging you back down, finally starting to thrust. It's three pumps, then he holds you down, cockwarming his length.

Ao'nung inserts another finger, scissoring you open as Neteyam fucks into your throat.

Your chest burns again but you hold out, hands clutching the blankets beneath you before you cry out a moan when Ao'nung sucks hard over your clit.

Your orgasm washes over you quick, slick gushing out of you and leaking down Ao'nungs neck.

Neteyam thrusts into you a final time before dragging your head down as he cums down your throat.

"Swallow it," he speaks roughly, hips grinding into your face as he shoots out a few more ropes before finally pulling out.

You cough, swallowing any excess and gasping for breath. You then whine as you're lifted, turned around by Ao'nung and you realize Neteyam is still hard, angling it and laying on the bed.

Ao'nung guides your pussy over the sully boys length before pressing you down. The tip presses in and in one fell swoop, the entire length presses into you.

You're pressed down onto Neteyams chest, tail gripped and cheeks spread as the male behind you presses his cock to your asshole, pressing until the tip pops in.

"Oh, shit! Wait- fuck," you rasp out, grimacing at the foreign feeling.

Ao'nung kisses up your back,"You can take it, paskalin," and gingerly presses more of his length into you.

After you adjust, his hips finally press to your rear.

"You take us so well, tahni," Neteyam cups your cheek as you rest against his shoulder.

Your body is still tight around them, even moreso with the new experience.

Ao'nung is the first to pull back, gently thrusting back into you. Neteyam is next, gripping your hips and planting his feet down to buck up into you.

This begins a slow but gradually speeding up pace, the sully boy fills you just as the metkayina prince pulls out, back and forth, and you nearly cry from the enslaught of pleasure. You're moaning openly, babbling incoherent words and they can't help but grin cockily at this.

"I'm not gonna last- mmph, fuck," Neteyam kisses your shoulder, licking over your sweat damp skin as his hips grind deeper into you.

"Surprise, surprise," Ao'nung teases, smirking, ignoring the hiss and speeding up his own thrusts.

Your second orgasm punches you in the gut, unexpectedly and you don't have time to prepare yourself as your cunt tightens, convulsing and squirting around Neteyam.

You cry out, moaning breathlessly. Your entire body shakes with this orgasm, tightening around Ao'nung as well and he moans in surprise, thrusting coming to a stop as he grips your hips, pressing himself into you entirely as he cums into your ass. The feeling is weird, but not unpleasant.

Soon enough, Neteyam groans, clenching his teeth as he cums into your cunt.

You slump onto neteyam entirely, still filled as they come down from their highs.

Neteyam snickers breathlessly, smirking at Ao'nung as he strokes his fingers over your back.

"Surprise, surprise, huh?"

¤¤¤

A/N: I want this

Taglist:

@akoyaxs @vee1728

[feral-ferrule]

Merry Early Life Day! As the longest supporter of Disgrace a major Thank you for your comments and support! Here's to more Cross x Tahny next year.

I hope you'll accept this token of gratitude, a scene of Choy and Echo enjoying some... milk and cookies.

💋💋💋 @crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf

Tumblr is glitchy again

This is the best thing ever!

I can’t remember what I typed out before but I love your fic and was so happy to see this this morning

But I remember the reaction memes

And am tempted to add a terrible eggnog joke illustration but I’m stupid busy

Happy almost Life Day, Nix!💋🎄

🥂here’s to Tahny and Cross -and Choy and spoilers, darling

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

Thanks for the tag!!!

Music is hella important to my writing, I have the full story board to Disgrace in a playlist essentially and it RUINED my Spotify Wrapped cause it was the only one I listened to last year (essentially)

Uhhhh.... How to do this though...

I'm not very Artist focused, was more likely to buy movie OSTs back in the day of CDs than ones for particular bands and you can tell lol. Lots of Jazz, funk and heavy percussion usually drive me.

With that being said;

I Feel Love- The Blue Man Group ft Venus Hum

essentially gave birth to Tahny and the Disgrace Universe. I've included it in both the official Disgrace OST playlist as it's the song for Chapter 8 and really defines the story I think, but also in the Cross X Tahny playlist I'm building for Clone X OC week. (What's this, another sneak peak? I'm still working on this one but feel free to take a look.)

Other than that we're looking at genres. Shoegaze probably puts me in the mood to write the most, next being Ska, and if we're included a third might as well say Girl Punk lol, but this really changes. A lot. Constantly. You want a playlist of Tribal War chants? I have one of those. I have a Classical Playlist that's exclusively chaotic tracks. Zydeco is up there in my favorite genres, I have one of those too.

Only thing I don't really listen to is commercial pop unless it's like 20 years old or something. (Aqua my beloved.)

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Tags!

@feral-ferrule @hellhoundmaggie @withoutalice @haybellewrites @vimse @sandcoffiin

The "My Playlist Understands Me Better Than My Therapist" Tag Game

So of course I can’t find the post now, but as a writer, particularly a clone-centric star wars fan fiction writer, the concept of the music subgenre the internet calls “hornysad” made me laugh for about 3 business days.

Nobody asked, but in the spirit of having raging ✨seasonal deppresh✨ and a barnacle of creative block on my ass, here are three examples of music I listen to that either speak to my hornysad goblin, or ignite the hornysad goblin within me.

Sleep Token — particularly ‘Rain’ or ‘The Apparition’ or ‘The Summoning’ (I don’t feel like I need to explain this one + there’s also something about mysterious identity that we’ve agreed is hot— why else would “the helmet stays on” be a tag on AO3?)

The Cure — I mean come on…‘High’? ‘Just Like Heaven’? ‘Burn’? I thought of them first for this tbh.

RAYE — her sped up versions of ‘Flip a Switch’ & ‘Escapism’ are simultaneously big sexy and big sad.

-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Opening the floor to all my fellow clone-loving goblins, particularly @jetii @dystopicjumpsuit @cloneflo99 @captn-trex @lonewolflupe @crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf @ghostymarni @vodika-vibes @eobe — because I feel like if anyone is going to understand what I’m talking about, it’s you 😂😂

Everyone (18+ obvs) is welcome to join in because I’d love to get to know you feral clone goblins a little better ♥️ I also picked 3 bc this shit apparently makes up like, 87% of my Spotify account 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bonus: the other draft titles for this post because I’m proud of them and they also deserve an honorable mention:

Help, I've Fallen Into My Sad Girl Era Again and Can't Get Up: A Musical Tag Game

Seasonal Depression's Greatest Hits: The Hornysad Tag Collection

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

These idiots, featuring @eobe 's Eo.

This exchange just became funnier the more that I thought about it.

Liberties taken, (Like lots) hope you don't mind. I never drew this species before and it lent itself to some... expressiveness.

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

Disgrace Chapter 8: I feel... Illustrations (R)

Escalation, as in the rise of a mountain, like the ones that border Estkel City dividing the polarized world of Ga'hah. Buildings climb in an rising pattern as Tah'nyem Ra also finds herself in a pattern of...escalation. As the dance comes to a crescendo she may have to come face to face with the culminations of a decision or two. Will she learn to be careful with what she wishes for?

Read Here or on Ao3!

A Lil' Spice Under Cut

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Tag List:

@feral-ferrule @thecoffeelorian 

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

Last line challenge-

Rules: In a new post, give us your last line (written or drawn) and then tag as many people as there are words!

I was tagged by @orangez3st!

Working on Chapter 11 of Disgrace.

I'll put the full excerpt cause I'm difficult and hate following directions. (And want to break your little hearts.)

Fear. It was fear crawling over him and I realized I had never seen it on him before. Anger, loathing, guilt sure… but the Crosshair that leaned over me now was scared, his voice small.  “I don't want to be alone, Tahny,” The crack that went through my heart must've shattered the ground beneath me. I felt like I was falling backwards, lightheaded. 

There you have it, folks.

Tagging: @feral-ferrule @thora-sniper @sandcoffiin @haybellewrites @moonstrider9904 @vimse 💋💋💋

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

Thanks for the tag bb! 💋 @eobe @eclec-tech @cw80831

Last Song: I think I love you, Less than Jake cover. (Not building a cross x Tahny playlist nope.... Yeah I am.)

Favorite Color: 🔸🔶Orange🔶🔸

Last Book: Trouble with the Cursed. (A while since I last read a book book but I'll plug this author at a drop of a hat.)

Last Movie: I think I put Scream on again last...

Last Show: Finally watching Entourage

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Savory but the real answer here is sour.

Relationship: Married, 10 years last September

Last thing I holo searched: "Like a Prayer- Bigod 20 YouTube"... (Sigh... Yes this is also Cross x Tajhny related)

Current Obsession:... Haha ... Guess. (Cross x Tahny is ruining my brain for other things help SOS)

I look forward to telling you: Don't get me started. I'm hoping I get everything done for Clone x OC week cause lord am I busy with nothing it seems these days. Extra Cross x Tahny content for everyone.

@sandcoffiin @cloneflo99 @vimse @orangez3st @thora-sniper @leapingbadger @hellhoundmaggie

10 people I'd like to get to know better

Tagged by @sadundefinedbread, my beloved ❤️

Last song: Monitoring by Deco*27 feat. Hatsune Miku

Favorite color: turquoise

Last book: last book I finished was 'Salem's Lot by Stephen King; last one I read (and am currently reading) is The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

Last movie: A Muppet's Christmas Carol

Last show: Dexter

Sweet/spicy/savoury: I like all of them, but sweet reigns supreme

Relationship status: Married in the same way a nun is (aka I'm too emotionally devoted to a character - or, in my case, several - to have an IRL partner lol)

Last thing I googled: if color blind was one word or two. Fan fact: "colorblind" is an American-ism that started gaining popularity in the 1990s

Current obsession: Besides the omnipresence of Supernatural, Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom.

Looking forward to: finishing and posting a couple of fics :3

Tagging: @pavlovianfuckery @sastielbeltscene @sammywinchesterslover @flannel-wrapped-nightmare @boykingscourt @slutsons-blog @deancaslover @castiellesbian @autisticandroids @sastielbeltscene

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

Disgrace Chapter 7: Sweet Waters Illustrations

Estkle City, hugging the base of the equator mountains, alive with the winds peeling away from Ga'hah's storm spot; This city is port du call for the grand rail that brings civilians through to the Sohn city state in the North. It's the last stop before Tah'nyem finds herself home. Armed with a satchel of casino winnings and a posh nightlife these two are determined to enjoy their evening.

Read Here or on Ao3!

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Tag List:

@feral-ferrule

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

I haven't sketched these two since starting my Disgrace illustrations. Have this trad art Cross x Tahny and maybe I'll share more of the originals later.

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

Haven't done Cross x Tahny Picrews in a while.

This one right here.

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

Thanks for the tag @eobe, love.

In a shocking turn of events that surprises no one, I've been listening to my Cross x Tahny fic playlist ad nauseum.

Chapter 3 gave me problems way back in the beginning of the year lol

Tagging anyone who got missed above!

Y’all here is my Spotify wrapped 2024!!

Show me yours (if you use Spotify)!!

NPTs: @returnofthepineapple @techs-stitches @99aceace @amalthiaph @523rdrebel

[crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf]

Disgrace Chapter 7 : Crosshair x F!OC

Estkle City, hugging the base of the equator mountains, alive with the winds peeling away from Ga'hah's storm spot; This city is port du call for the grand rail that brings civilians through to the Sohn city state in the North. It's the last stop before Tah'nyem finds herself home. Armed with a satchel of casino winnings and a posh nightlife these two are determined to enjoy their evening. They talk about their families, their doubts, and she even bullies him into telling her how his toothpick habit started. For once the world feels slow.

Chapter Specific Warnings: Nudity, Angst and Fluff in a constant tug-o-war, drug use (smoking, drinking), Implied sex and sexual situations, I was hungry while writing this. This is also the chapter where I zoned out and forgot clone twins was fanon. Kark it we ball.

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Authors Note: My stars, are these two actually talking to each other? Self Indulgent chapter, jam packed with cute, watch Tahny die from cute overload. Am I stress posting my work at 5 am again? haha yeah.

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Word Count: 8687

Dynamic: Princess x Guard, Speed running Co-dependancy, A Mangy Cat and his Aggressive little Chihuahua. She's a damsel, she's in distress- she can handle it.

<-Previous Chapter - Read On Ao3 {START HERE}

Music Inspo- Sugar Water, Cibo Matto

Listen on Spotify - Listen on Youtube

Chapter 7 : Sweet Water

The cargo hold bounced with a protesting rumble and I stirred from the light dozing that had taken me.

I was on the cot, laying flat against the rough fabric, nude besides a cloak draped over the narrow bed like a blanket. Crosshair was squeezed next to me, head laying on my shoulder, eyes only half lidded as he relaxed against me. 

There was a slight burning sensation against my sternum and I looked down to see him tracing lines on my skin with the end of a toothpick. Same pattern, over and over, etching a red symbol into my chest. A circle, then a cross through it. 

“You're an artist now?”

He didn't answer, nor stop his work. 

Circle, long vertical line, short horizontal line, circle. 

“Right over my heart?”

He finally slowed, tossing the pick aside, and blew softly over the hot scratches. I murmured sleepily against his forehead at the soothing, cool sensation. 

“What's on your mind, Cross?”

Crosshair still hasn't said anything, just moving to be more over me, taking the rosey peak of my breast into his mouth to suck on softly before coming even to look me in the eyes. 

He was making me a little self conscious, being so quiet… so intimate. 

“Again.”

“Again?”

“Again.”

He was dropping his hips, wedging my thighs apart and I groaned in exhaustion. 

“You can't have anything left by now…”

He wasn't listening, leaning in to kiss my neck and I giggled softly, nuzzling him in his persistence. 

“I need a shower, li’nen…”

We had been on the road for hours now, sections of the trip having the truck slowed to a complete stop.The channels could only do so much against the inclimate weather between the Ga'haiian city states. 

There hadn't been much to occupy us. I had tried to pull open a holofilm but we had gotten… distracted.The tiny sink made washing up pitiful and I was once again dying for hot water. 

The intercom over the workbench crackled to life and Ger'nahei’s voice came over the static. 

“We're pulling into Estkle, twenty minutes till we get to East Station, we'll be stopping just before to let you guys out… better be de~cent,”

That last part was delivered in a sing-song, answering my question about how much they could hear up there. 

Crosshair slumped dramatically against my chest, sighing and letting himself become dead weight on top of me, making it hard to breathe. I struggled, chuffing in showy annoyance. 

“Oh, get off… I need to figure out where our clothes even are,”

“Speak for yourself, mine are right there,”

He vaguely gestured to the pile of discarded armor next to our belongings on the floor. 

“What about your blacks?”

His eyes fluttered open and he glanced around before shutting them again. 

“Don't need em’”

I quit struggling with a short exhale of amusement. Instead, I wrapped my arms about him, stroking his back. 

“Guess I'll be walking about Estkle stark naked… lucky day for the locals,”

He scowled up at me and I shot him a smirk. 

“Not appealing, oh heavy one?”

“People already look at you too much”

He complained, sighing into my breasts but lifted himself to his elbows regardless, drawing the back of his relaxed fingers over my cheek as I raised a brow at him. 

“You're the one that wanted me to be bait,”

“It's the way they look at you…”

It was true, I've never attracted a… normal range of attention. The looks that came my way could never be called innocent; no matter what I tried. 

“Jealousy is still foolish, li’nen”

I stroked his brow, finding his gaze, trying to get through to him that I meant it.

“Men, Women, they look at me, always have… it's not likely to stop till I'm old and gray. I'm used to it,”

My fingers caressed the hollow of his cheek, the sharp jawline and he pressed against the cup of my palm, letting me hold him. 

“They'll stop if I'm with you,”

“I'm not yours to protect, You can't be with me forever…”

His expression darkened.

…

“Cross… you said you didn't care about how it ends-”

Lips pressed to mine without warning, his arms sliding between my back and the cot to hold me to him. 

“I don't…”

He mumbled against my lips, kissing me in quick little pecks. 

“Just… don't talk like that, not as long as there's for now,”

Kisses down my chin, my neck, down to the still hot symbol etched on my chest. 

“For now you are mine… you swore it,”

Is that what I promised?

My eyes were growing hot at the affectionate outpouring. 

How am I supposed to keep this in check while he keeps… doing this…?

But I was pulling his lips back to mine, wrapping my legs about him to get closer. 

…

Bzzzkrt

“Ten minutes,”

~~~

Ger’nahei had opened the door to a rather disheveled duo; A certain someone making a nuisance of himself as I attempted to get some semblance of clothing on. 

At least we found his blacks in time…

They were replacing our weight with sacks of gravel from the side of a depot and closing up again. Crosshair and I stood off to the side on the pavement between the tall, cubic pillars of the Estkle slums. 

The tall woman turned back to us, pulling up a holomap and approaching Crosshair. 

“The station is a few blocks this way towards the city center,”

From here we just grab our tickets and ride the train to Sohn. Easy peasy. 

The rail system being called a train was a vast understatement, the magnetized track powerfully propelling cars that were the size of buildings. The many floors containing sleeper cars, massive cargo storage, an entertainment holoplex and more restaurants than you’d ever actually see attempting to navigate the massive, moving city. 

East rail was more popular for civilian travel, whereas the West rail on the other side of Nohct used to be solely industrial, connecting the mining colonies to the ports but now it was reserved for military and political transport. Not exactly easy travel.  

The holomap was snapped off, and Ger'nahei made to leave. I moved in to give her a hug and she put her hands up, side stepping me.

“I ain't touching you after that concert we heard,”

She was laughing, Sevill was staring daggers at me. Not unusual. I smirked and gave them a little wave as I stepped away from the humming vehicle.

“Good luck, kids,”

Ger'nahei climbed into the rig with a salute and they chugged off, headed to the cargo loading bays of East Station. 

Crosshair casually draped an arm over my shoulders, opening up his own copy of the map to check our heading before steering me out of the alley to the main street lined with ramshackle stands and door stoops full of laughing chattering groups enjoying the weather together.

It was pleasant… strange to me, but pleasant. I watched younglings play along the curb while their families argued jovially about something nearby and was overcome with something wistful and aching.  

Hugging tighter to the side of my escort I tore my eyes away from the smiling faces. 

“It's so peaceful, this busy little world of yours…”

His voice seemed to reflect the ache that gripped my heart as we traveled farther from the residential buildings.

“Yeah… not that war has never touched us, these ghettos are a result of conflicts after all,”

“Still…”

He looked back towards the laughter carried up the street on the breeze to flow through us, then picked up the pace, distancing us from the source of the discomfort coiling around us.

The shopfronts lining the road began to have less bars over the doors and more spotlights casting warm lighting over the stone street with their displays. 

As we rounded the next corner the station pavilion came into view. 

A towering, steaming railcar clung to a tall wide track that stretched off to the horizon. The structures to the sides of the station kept most of the train out of view, but it blended against the gaps to look like parts of the building, almost even with the skyline.

“That's impressive,”

“Mm, it's the only way to get from Nohct to Sohn anymore, the Western line is a lot smaller and not open to civilians… especially since the occupation,”

“No one just… goes through the mountains?”

He looked in the direction of The Equator Range and I shook my head. 

“It's too dangerous… Weather's mild but the ground is unstable, there's Cockerexes everywhere, and above all else it's vast,”

It would take nearly two rotations with a ground vehicle just to cross the desert between the mountains and Sohn’s farmlands, and that's after navigating the mountains and valleys of the dividing range. 

“Besides, the train route is scenic,”

The tracks skirted the Eastern storm Mehaklei, cutting through the rain eroded valley that was now a misty wetland, shimmering and prismatic with the stray rays of light that managed to reach it from the sun facing hemisphere. 

“I’ll get us a view then…”

“My Vah'hadarr should have left us tickets…”

“It'll be safer this way,”

I could see thoughts whirring in him again but was afraid if I asked he would try to distract me with… well, himself… again. His increasingly reckless behavior had me worried what he'd deem appropriate in the small city square. I was trying to gauge when the shift in demeanor started. The private box, the moon… maybe since we left the watchful eye of the military?

He was steering us across the open block, approaching the lit kiosk selling tickets for the massive railcar. 

“Stay here,”

He instructed, angling me to a lamp post,

“I don't want anyone working for the rail to see your face till we're out of the city,”

He pulled my hood up, drawing the cloak about me a little tighter,

“Crosshair, your name was on that list too… and what about chain codes?”

He paused a moment but took my hand reassuringly, gently brushing his lips against my knuckles. 

“They shouldn't be able to recognize me, as for the codes…”

He jiggled our heavy satchel of credits. 

“Nothing money can't buy, Stay.”

He squeezed my hand and backed away, turning into a confident step as he wove his way to the sales counter. 

I leaned against the light and watched him go, his own cape blowing in the soft breeze, giving a peek here and there at the armored physique beneath. The glimpses were teasing as he drifted off and I smiled at the memory of what those hips felt like. 

Minutes passed with him at the counter, chatting to the clerk. A flirty tilt to his shoulders and a smolder in his stern brow was making her giggle while she made our reservation.

Look at him flaunting it.

I chuckled and entertained myself by taking in the surroundings. 

The open street wasn't as busy as the center of Nohct City, though people still drifted about the sidewalks navigating around the speeders that would occasionally pass through. The buildings were close together, shops and restaurants interlaced with hotels and apartments. 

Everything looked a little dingy, the buildings some of the oldest I've seen on Ga'hah. However, the updated storefronts still shone brightly, luring in the foot traffic of the evening diner crowd and a higher class of tourists waiting to depart on the train in the morning. 

I sighed, releasing a tension that I had been holding in my shoulders. Cross was right, this was peaceful. It felt safe… 

I knew the sense of security was foolhardy… Behind the facade of the train square there was the crime, the turf wars and the instability caused by Sohn's absolute disregard for the problems it created in the Southern hemisphere… But for now it felt, safe. Peaceful. 

A hand on my shoulder made me jump and the soldier smirked down at me, handing over a set of train passes. 

“You let your guard down,”

“Can you blame me? Its nice out here,”

I looked down at the passes in my hand and my eyes widened. 

“Cross, a whole suite?”

“We have a lot of credits, and the clerk was easier than I thought she'd be… this much is no good to me, and nothing to you…”

I caught the hint as he gave the satchel another jiggle, sharing a conspiratorial smirk.

“A last night hurrah huh?”

He shrugged.

“How much we got left?”

I was passed the still heavy casino satchel and whistled, checking the time on our tickets. We left early, first thing on the new rotation.

“Let’s find a hotel first, somewhere nice or somewhere less conspicuous?”

We could backtrack, go to something less formal off the beaten path. 

“It's safer where there's more people,”

“Then we'll stay somewhere close, your winnings, your pick,”

He leaned into the lamp post, an arm over my head, talking lower. 

“Then what?”

“A warm shower, then we'll get dinner,”

“Dinner?”

“Dinner”

“Mm, after dinner?”

“We’ll have a few hours, I'm sure we'll think of something…”

We pushed off quickly, an eager sway in his step I couldn't help but mimic as he pulled us to the first hotel within our line of sight. As we made towards the lighted porte cochere his pace faltered in front of a patio packed with patrons clinking cutlery against fine plates. The smell drifting from the restaurant was heavenly, a mix of grilled meats and wood smoke. 

“Let's go here,”

“Mm, sure, but there's a dress code, we'll need to stop and get you a dinner jacket…”

He grimaced, causing me to laugh lightly, patting his chest. 

“Don’t worry, it'll suit you,”

I looked about at the glowing storefronts and hurried us to one that was still open. 

~~~

Our room key guided us to the fifth floor, three doors from the main lift. I held my hand out for the key and Crosshair slipped it to me quietly.

The store experience had left him flustered, having let me take the lead in picking him an ensemble. At least flustered beat the heated irritation the experience started with. The switch in the shop keeper's demeanor between taking in our shaggy appearance and catching sight of our heavy wallet rubbed us. Cross about punched the man on principle and I probably would have let him. 

The door clicked and slid open leading to a simple king suite. A small kitchenette was just inside the door, opposite an alcove leading into the fresher. The large bed took up most of the room, but the feature was a nice set of chairs in a sunken sitting room overlooking a wide window. 

I sighed out a bit more tension, the safety of walls, silence and a locked door. 

“This'll do…”

Cross immediately went to the window and drew the curtain, locking us away from searching eyes. 

“You say that a lot,”

“What?”

“This’ll do,”

He was mocking me slightly. 

“Ever happy with your accomodations?”

“Maybe I'm just greedy…”

My things were starting to pile on the floor. Desperate to wash up and change into something clean, I was already walking to the refresher midstrip, bouncing on a foot stuck in a pant leg. 

“Greedy, huh?”

Cross seemed amused as he followed my half naked, self imposed obstacle course to the tiled room. He growled something under his breath I didn't quite catch, that familiar fire behind his eyes. No time for that though.

I almost cried at the sight of the oversized tub and double headed shower stall, we had been slumming it so long. It did raise a question though…

“Bath or shower?”

It was whispered in my ear, but his hands were busy undoing his armor.

“Mm, let's let fate decide…”

He raised a brow at me as I made my way back into the room undoing what remained of the buttons on my shirt, letting it fall to the ground. 

I picked up the directory next to the complimentary com. After making sure the display scanner was off, I opened a channel to the restaurant we passed. 

“Yes, hello… What time is your next reservation available?... Great, I'll take it… Tah- uh… Tahny. Of course thank you,”

Closing the com, I looked at the device, sparing a moment of regret that I couldn't contact Kahtzi. Changing coms so frequently, you would think I'd have her register memorized but… I was overdo by at least a day, she must be worried… maybe Jar'ath commed her. I shook myself mentally and turned back to the man watching me. 

“Plenty time for a bath,”

As I finished talking I realized the water was already running. 

“Can you still read my mind, Crosshair?... You have to tell me if you can,”

He strutted over and pushed me down onto the bed I was sitting on. Any lingering thoughts of home were wiped clear when my lips were his again; hard, hungry kisses while his strong arms wrapped about me. 

“No… unfortunately, but I can tell the future,”

“Oh yeah? And what does the future hold?”

I was breathing heavily already and he chuckled as he shifted, scooping me off the bed to drape over his shoulder like a rag doll. We headed back to the sound of echoing water.  

“Clean, warm, bath,”

He shifted me down slowly, pulling my body against him as I slid off his shoulder.

“Futures looking bright then…” 

The porcelain was filling quickly with nice clear water and I glanced about for the house soaps on the counter, smelling a few of them before dumping something delicately floral into the forming pool. 

Bubbles sprang forth spreading over the surface and I looked back at Cross. He was fiddling with the light panel, setting the tone to something warm and low before he finished undressing, slipping his blacks to the floor. 

Testing the water briefly, I stepped in with a refreshing slosh that swirled the bubbles. 

“It'll be easier if you settle in first,”

He breezed to the side of the sunken tub.

“Should we let it fill more?”

“Don't worry, you'll displace most of it,”

There was no further hesitation, he stepped in with me and lowered himself into the water causing it to lap at the sides of the smooth tub. I followed, nestling my back against his chest and sighing into the warmth seeping into my senses. 

We let the water finish leveling around us before I tapped the spigot with a toe, not wanting to shift from where I was. It had been a long day and I think both of us were more weary than we let on. 

The water slowed to a trickle and the soft tinkling echoed in the large room with its smooth stone surfaces. 

We had let exhaustion win this time. Curled in the tub in an odd kind of stasis as the world that had been spinning since the night we jumped ship slowly crawled to a stop… letting us be still. 

His fingers were trailing up my arm and back down again. The line he followed was faded, barely visable against my skin now tanned a few shades darker then when the ink was applied. He finished his tour by lacing his fingers in mine, cupping the back of my hand in his, and turning my palm upwards. It was the dark scars on my fingers he was after, stroking his thumb over the small marks. 

My eyes were wandering over his arms, taking in his own sets of markings patterning the skin. Shiney burns, raised rips…

“What's this one?”

I used my free hand to trace a set of parallel marks on his forearm and he groaned, a low laugh, sounding embarrassed.

“Wrecker’s lothcat… he snuck it onboard, guess who found it?”

I smiled softly. 

“Don't like cats?”

“I like cats, that one just didn't like me,”

“And Wrecker… who's that?”

The name had conjured an odd image in me, not really a picture but an impression; loud… apprehension. Odd. 

He took a moment to answer, I was starting to think he'd let another question of mine go flat, but eventually he spoke… softly, fondly. A nameless warmth that I hadn't realized was missing.

“He's my brother, one of, He's a big sweetheart… you'd like him,”

He nuzzled my hair encouraging me to pry further. 

“There's four of them?”

“Three… no, Echo counts, four, I have a sister too now…”

“They make female clones?”

“Yeah, special…like us, but she's just a child,”

“Aren't we all,”

Crosshair had gone quiet again and my heart and mind ached with him. He missed his family. He felt betrayed by them, replaced even, but he missed them. I could feel a tension starting to coil between us, in his muscles pressed against me. A now distant memory of a darkened service tunnel.

“... I had hoped they'd come back.”

I sat up, and turned to straddle his legs, wrapping my arms about his shoulders to pull him into a wet, tight hug against my chest. 

“How do we quell that storm in you, li’nen?”

…

“This helps…for now,”

For now. 

“What do you call the rest of them?”

There was still that lingering guilt of not learning the names of the clones that had traveled with me and his references stirred an odd feeling of familiarity in me, tinged with hurt and longing… a deep sense of broken trust… will I always be colored with his memories, or will this fade? 

He leaned back against the side of the tub to look at me more comfortably. 

“Hmm? Besides Wrecker… I mentioned Echo, he was a Reg before the Clankers got a hold of him,”

“Clankers?” 

“Uh… droids, tore him to bits, now he's part Clanker himself, Then there's Tech, we came from the same tube,”

“That's a thing? You have twins?”

“A few… Echo was a twin too,”

Was a twin?

A pang went through my heart again.

“Are you close? With your twin?”

“You could say that, he's the one of us that does all the talking… then there's Hunter, he's our leader… mainly cause no one else wanted to do it,”

He snickered softly at his own dig, the rumble of it in his chest caused me to smile a little too. I was glad he was talking for a change.

“Is he any good,”

…

His eyes went dark and distant at that, the little crook of amusement leaving his lips, I pivoted,

“... And the girl?”

…

“Her names Omega, honestly… I didn’t get to know her, didn't seem… prudent… seems like a good kid,”

You know the word ‘prudent?’

I was scanning him in the nice warm lights, finally getting a chance to really look at him. The red sun had filtered out our imperfections, making us like new in each other's eyes. The cargo hold was lit, but barely… This was the first time we were able to truly see everything.

 Like his arms, his chest was patterned with the stripes of war. Long gashes here and there, over a peck, across an ab. Countless healed burns from blaster bolts. I ran my hands up his stomach to trace the tattoo over his right rib.

“Ninety-nine…”

“That's our squad… we all have one of these,”

He stretched to give me a better look at the skull over the number. 

I sighed in exaggerated disappointment.

“Guess you're married then…”

His brow furrowed, not expecting that… I winced, rushing to explain the joke.  

“Sorry, old… Ga'haiian stuff, before we adopted the Republic’s ideas of marriages we had our own ways, rather than splitting into couples we would form tight knit clans and they would share a mark… military squads and their tattoos are kind of… similar,”

I leaned, moving my drape of hair to show him the tiny diamond star hidden behind my ear.

“Kahtzi and Jar’ath have matching ones, it's a promise to take care of each other, today people try to equate the two, clans and marriage, to make the fact that clans aren’t legally recognized any longer more palatable,”

“You and… Jar'ath? Not to judge a book by its cover but…”

I shot him a look, but I guess it was a fair question.

“It's not like that, doesn't have to be for the clan to work, he's like a brother… but that's why equating the two is kind of absurd,”

He was quiet again running his fingers over the ink on his ribs. 

“They left me behind… so much for taking care of each other.”

His voice was suddenly thick with bitterness.

I didn't really know what to say, every word feeling hollow as it passed over my tongue just to be swallowed again. The phrase was simple, but I knew the tempest that lived in him. What could match the devistation of such a storm?

“How could they?”

Was all I could really manage, cupping his jaw to turn his eyes so full of hurt to me. 

“I don't know… but they left me again, and again, They just don't want me anymore,”

“That can't be true…”

He choked back a dry, humorless laugh. 

“I guess not directly, Wrecker offered me a half assed invitation… but I've known him my whole life, the very thought of me on the Marauder again made him nervous. And when I didn't immediately jump on their very enthusiastic offer, they left. The second my back was turned, without even another glance… they left me for dead,”

“That can-”

“Thirty two rotations, Tahny…”

“What?”

“They left me, alone, on a platform in the middle of a raging sea, nothing but the smoldering remains of our home for company, it took. Thirty. Two. Rotations. for scouters to find me,”

I froze. 

“How are you alive?”

The words came out as a whisper, my lungs unable to fill against the tightness forming in my chest. 

“I shouldn't be, I should've died out there… I don't belong anywhere anymore,”

I carefully shifted, coaxing him to lean into my arms, to let me cradle him against my breastbone. 

“What about the Empire?”

He sighed,

“Might as well stay… rigid and unyielding, just like me,”

…

The phrase sent a wave of hurt through the back of my mind, alienation, loneliness,

“I don't find you rigid…”

“You don't know me… not everything,”

“Have you not been yourself with me?”

There was a heavy pause, reflecting his contemplation. 

“I don't know…”

“Do you like who you are with me?”

…

“...yes,”

His answer came soft and unsure. I took a deep breath, noting how heavy he felt against me as he surrendered to my touch, his muscles finally relaxing. The waves in him may never cease, I suppose…but I might be a shore for him to crash upon… for now.  

“Then… that's who you are, not what you've done, or what someone says you are… so I do know you, as for the details… tell me, don't tell me, I'll have your back either way,”

He lifted his head from my breast, a shimmer in his eyes as he searched for truth from my words, clinging to it once it was found. 

“I might not be a good person, Tahny,”

“You don't have to be li’nen… might be better if you're not,”

I'm not exactly a good person either… 

I found his lips, pressing against them to sooth him, reassure him. Arms wrapped about me, crushing me against his damp skin. My muscles ached in an unfulfilled bid to protect my lover, all I could do was cradle him, kiss him. 

…

The water began to cool around us, and I made to turn the tap back on to add more heat but Crosshair caught me, tapping the stopper lock instead.

“I’d love to stay like this, cy-uh… but I'm ravenous, and if I remember correctly… we have a dinner date,”

I snorted at that. 

A dinner date after everything?…

“This feels a little backwards, doesn't it?”

“Welcome to Strange.”

“Ha. Ha.”

It seems we had recovered from the shadowy place our thoughts had turned. 

I shifted to stand, but first turned into the soft kiss that was waiting for me. I had started to expect this temporary goodbye between our brief moments of private, quiet intimacy. 

He watched me as I dried and left the refresher before I heard the water slosh again as he made to do the same. 

Picking up the duffle from the floor I tugged out the paper bag from the casino. The shift I had purchased was black and slinky, the satin quality of the fabric making it shine like wet ink. I stepped into it, pulling the tight cut over my hips and sliding my arms into the straps. I hooked on the beaded filigree pieces to drape over my bare shoulders and adjusted the cleave cut that made a sharp line between my breasts down to my navel. It wouldn't drag, and the long skirt had enough flow to hide the egregious slit to either hip. Until I walked that was. 

On second thought, maybe this was too much for Estkle. 

I reached into the bag and grabbed the simple blazer and catsuit that I snagged as an alternative, laying it out on the bed. 

As I slid my thumbs under the straps to undress again, Cross rounded the corner, new slacks pulled up and hanging from his hips while the rest of him was still exposed. 

I looked at him and he looked at me. 

“Is that what you're wearing?”

“No… I was about to put this on instead,”

I gestured vaguely at the outfit on the bed and once again made to lower the straps. 

“Don't. I like this one,”

He had made his way over, catching my hand from its task and turning me to get a better look at the plunged neck line. 

“It's gonna draw attention,”

“I'm with you, their eyes won't linger…”

I doubted that, but admired his confidence. He was intimidating… maybe he'd be right. 

“We're still laying low, right?

His fingers traced the gapped fabric between my breasts down to the dip of my navel.

“As low as can be,”

~~~

We integrated into the posher crowd gathered on the busy patio alight with fiery torches, a few heads turning at his tattoo and my faded markings but otherwise no one paid us much mind. I did catch a few brief glances, the start of a head turn as my thighs split the hem of my dress as I walked, but they quickly turned back down to their food.

It was amusing, the slight man commanding such presence. He wasn't even that tall by Ga'hah standards. And yet…

By Be'llahl, they are scared of him aren't they?

I leaned into Crosshair's arm as he guided us to the host podium. The dark gray lapel jacket was soft despite its chunky knit, the leather patch on the elbow making a cool spot against my skin where my arm wrapped about his.  

He cleaned up well, the coat accentuating his slim waist and broad shoulders. I had picked out a thin, ribbed sweater to wear underneath, simulating his comfortable black bodysuit. The loose cut slacks had a crisp crease drawing the eye to the length of his stride as we strutted forward. 

A slim Ga'haiian girl looked us over briefly before taking us up a staircase past massive vases stuffed with fresh flower arrangements in vibrant, saturated tones. She showed us to a table for two on the second floor, snugged into the open bay doors overlooking the busy street below. 

A brief explanation, a bottle of nectar requested, and we were left to our devices. 

Cross subtly angled the window shades, his foot reaching between mine to hook the chair leg, drawing it slightly more into the room to obscured me from outside observers and keep a better eye on my back. 

“Want to see the cold bar?”

“Not yet,”

He clicked the flag device at the table which switched the glowing pattern from red to green. Almost instantly a muscular man brandishing an oversized skewer laden with a sizzling roast appeared at his side. He explained the cut and marinade then asked if we'd like a portion, which Crosshair eagerly accepted. 

A quick slice of a traditional blade and the seared meat fell to the waiting stone plate. 

“Should I wait for you?”

I shook my head, standing.

“Dig in, I'll be back,”

I sashayed across the wide stone floor, past a stories tall glass wall. Droids puttered about behind it, pulling nectar bottles down from the vast floor to ceiling storage racks just feet behind the glass. Buff men and women in leather aprons and chefs coats carried various roasted meats on skewers to the packed tables filling the space. Voices echoed off the dark stone walls, droning out the soft, live music drifting up the stairs that led back to the lobby. 

Finally I reached the massive bar laden with more fresh flowers framing overladen trays of cheeses, smoked fish and various salads. It didn't take long to fill a chilled dish. 

Cross had several cuts of meat laden high on his plate by the time I had found my way back to the table. He looked up at me, a subtle red tinging his cheeks. 

“I forgot to turn the flag off,”

I covered my mouth as I snorted back a giggle. 

~~~

Stacked plates, a case worth of empty bottles and a settled tab found us a little over an hour later. 

“... And that's how Ga’hah stayed out of the war… for the most part, not sure what the point was with the Empire moving in the second it was over,”

“I was there you know, in the field… at the end,”

“Yeah?”

“Our last order… was to kill the Jedi generals that turned on the Republic… I was the only one of us that complied,”

I was eyeing the flush tinging Cross's cheekbones trying to determine if he was actually a lightweight. I knew I was, and glanced back at the empty bottles scattered about the absolute carnage of the evening's feast. He just shrugged trying to hide the odd look creeping up on him. 

“You're serious…” 

“Lot of good it did,”

“What do you mean?”

He swirled the last of the nectar in his glass.

“It just doesn't feel any different, It's not called war anymore but the blaster fire sounds the same…”

“And now it's brother against brother,”

He downed his spirit, emptying the glass and drowning the ghosts in his inner storm. 

“They were cowards for running, nothing can be changed from out there… and now there's no choice for them,”

“You could have still gone with them… I'm not sure how much change we're really doing here,”

…

“Maybe I just stayed cause it was comfortable,”

He was starting to look really down. I took his hand around his cup, sighing,

“It doesn't sound like you've been comfortable at all honestly,”

He didn't answer, instead, checked the bottles for any remaining nectar. So I rambled…

“Hurts the pride though, just… enforcing some status quo, just look at me,”

He obediently met my eyes, though I really meant that figuratively. 

“Uh… look, I stay in my Vah'hadarr's shadow of progressive legacy, I uphold the appearances… but there's reasons we kill Bly’ju’s guards but not Bly'ju, there's consequences for one and not the other, some changes… people like you and I can't make them. Not without martyrdom and there’s better deaths out there than rotting in a jail cell for shooting some asshole,”

“Do you feel bad about the guards?”

“Nah… kark ‘em. Even a life contract can't compel you to act… they knew what they were doing,”

His brow furrowed in confusion, not really making the connection I was getting at.

“Maybe we just…chose the path of least resistance because we're too tired to really get what we want, holding your guard up your whole life will do that to you,”

“What is it you want?”

I felt like that should have sounded accusatory, but when I searched his gaze I found the same desperate questioning in his eyes. Like I might have an answer he was looking for. Chugging the considerable amount left in my glass I blurted,

“Peace… some quiet too, for myself and the few people I give a shyte about,”

“Sounds nice…”

“...Quiet?”

“Having someone to give a shyte about…”

His gaze matched mine, eyes shiney from the liquor. In amazement I tracked the occasional flick of him scanning around us, even drunk he was ever the professional.

“Oh Cross, you'll find your people!...some kindred spirits, plus I'll always be about in my tower for you to visit… or just find a familiar face and cling on, I'm sure there's one or two or three thousand at the GAR,”

I giggled, the absurdity of his reality dawning on my addled mind. 

“That's not funny,”

But his cheeks were tight from trying not to smirk. I found his eyes with mine again, laying my head on my arms, folded on the table. He mimicked my posture,

“You should know the regs don't like me much…”

“They're just jealous… just wait till they find out you have connections to Kahtzi Zho,”

He blinked,

“Wait, Zho? Why does that sound familiar…”

I smirked, raising a brow at him.

“The holocal? In the GRSO relief packages,”

“No… your Kahtzi is the Kahtzi Zho?

“Mm, which month was your favorite?”

“Nelona.”

“Of course you like Nelona.”

“What's wrong with that one?”

“Nothing… I took that one myself,”

He chuckled, closing his eyes a moment,

“So you want some peace, princess? Good luck if you plan on having your girlfriend in tow,”

“Mm… you know, I'd probably hate it,”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah… I need chaos, Crosshair. I need speeders racing through the night and bar fights, and toying with people who could easily kill me in sick, brutal ways, Without it I itch… without it I'm just my Vah'hadarr's… pet,”

The last word was spat with contempt and he started stroking my hair, leaning into the table to reach me. We were quite drunk…

“Peace still includes your father?”

“Family is important, Kleinthu Vah'hadarr nam’patri… there is no me without mine Vah'hadarr, so… all my rights flow through him till I'm married off…unless I abandon my station,”

I dramatically gestured to the red smudges under my eyes,

“It is my duty as a low-born Lady of Sohn,” 

“Well there's a Ga'haiian custom I'm not in love with…”

His brow was pinched in frustration on my behalf, charming me yet again so that a sad smile colored over me,

“It's not… Ga'haiian, not really. It's Sohnese. These marks under my eyes may as well be a for sale sign, but unlike your common slave I’m to be traded for political favors, I have my freedom on Coruscant… for now, but one day I’ll be sold just the same, It’s not so bad, symbolic mostly… and my Vah’hadarr has been good to me, teaching me and letting me have a life…”

Crosshair's eyes had darkened as I spoke, fingers sliding through my hair to cup my chin. I was too inebriated to really read his expressions, Maybe he could relate,

“Besides, I like the work for the most part… It suits me, Perhaps that's why you stayed too, not cause it's the right thing exactly… but because the blaster fire sounds the same… if you left, if you never had to fight on a battlefield again, Too quiet. You'd have to think about it all like… like I would,”

“It all?”

“Mhmm… all of it,”

“Sounds like a lot.”

“Isn't it though?”

“Mm, I think we're drunk, and overstaying our welcome,”

The man was keeping his cool though, trying to mask his slight wobble as he stood up to take my hand. I couldn't help but giggle drunkenly.

He takes himself so seriously…

“You're… kind of funny sometimes, you know that, Crosshair?”

“...funny? I don't think I've ever been called funny before,”

“Deal with it, it… it rounds you out, Mr. Rigid and unyielding,”

“If you say so… up you get ner’burc’ya,”

I leaned on him as we turned, with dread, to the long staircase. Giggling again, I checked that I still had my clutch.

“They must have a lift…”

“I can still handle stairs,”

He was maintaining balance fairly well, even with me hanging on him, and we haphazardly navigated the descent. 

“Where to?”

I jiggled the casino purse, there was still a good chunk of credits to spend. Once we were on the train I could charge my father's account to my heart's content, so splurging on souvenirs seemed in order.

He leaned in, the smell of nectar rolling sweetly from him as he wrapped his arms around me. His weight guided me to lean against a pillar, and he pinned my arms over my head, brushing his lips to mine. He still tasted like the fruity spirit and I drank the flavor of him as he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue over mine before withdrawing.

“I just want to get you back in that bed…”

Maybe saving some cash would be wise…

He angled us out of the restaurant and we swifted back in the direction of the hotel, passing storefronts and groups of chattering people in a hurried stride. 

The fresh air was sobering, though it was getting cold, the smaller of the moons positioned to the West. The wayward winds from the Mehaklei pressure front made Estkle a breezy city, and they ran through the loose cloth of my skirt, making it dance about my legs as we briskly made our way up the street to where the buildings thinned to a view of the plains…

Until Crosshair slowed and stopped, staring into a glimmering display of fancy bottles. 

“What was it… that scent you wore, the night we met? Is it here?”

It was my usual bottle, long gone now somewhere in our travels. The perfume was something my mother had gotten me as a graduation present. Nothing too fancy, I wouldn't have used it, but the flowery scent was complimented by a fiery resin musk underlay. It smelled like a late summer evening. 

“That one,”

I pointed to a square of the display housing a red and gold bottle in various sizes. 

“Stay here,” 

He left me on the sidewalk, disappearing into the store with a staggered gate. 

I mean… I think I know what you're up to…

I shook my head but smiled to myself, turning to lean on the stone storefront. 

My eye was caught by a tiny store at the corner a few paces away. It was barely the size of a closet, with only a service window facing the street, a thin man zoned out behind the glass in front of his rolled wares. 

Cross had the big bag, so I rifled my own stash of credits in my clutch as I approached the dingy little stand. 

“You have Darh?”

“Sure do, plain, flavored or spiced?”

“What flavors do you have?”

“Berry or citrus,”

“Berry then,”

“Good choice,”

The clerk slipped the rolled herbs into a small tube to hand to me, took my credits, and I was at the perfume shop again before Crosshair had finished his purchase. 

He stepped back onto the sidewalk moments later and handed me a small bag. It was heavier than expected and I looked in curiously. 

“You got one of every size?”

I pulled out the tiny travel version to glint in the light from the shop window, lips quirked in amusement. 

“That one's mine,”

Cross lifted it from my fingertips, tilting the small vial to puff against my pulse point before he tucked it into his breast pocket. 

I looked at the small lump under the jacket lapel and felt my face flush with more than alcohol. 

“How you surprise me…”

Shaking myself, I pulled the tube from my clutch. 

“Now for me to surprise you,”

…

“What's this?”

~~~

My pumps hit the floor with a muted thump as I kicked them off and slumped into one of the chairs. The room was dark, the only light coming from the refresher. 

I flipped the hollow tube in my fingers, watching Cross carefully rip into the wiring panel, finding a way to disable the smoke detector without setting off the alarms.

Neat skill.

He had scoffed at the idea of lighting up in the stairwell, which was traditional, but I wasn't gonna complain about the privacy. 

I popped the tube and took out the paper roll and strike, waiting for the go ahead. There was a quick skrtt and Cross nodded that he had figured it out, before he came to sit with me by the window. 

“Have you ever smoked?”

His toothpick habit was suspect, but I wasn't even sure clones were allowed to pick up such things…

“No…”

“So the toothpicks?”

He turned away, hiding a new flush blooming over his cheekbones.  

Okay then,

I got up from my chair and moved to his,knees about his hips to face him.

“I'll help, first time rookie mistake is resisting the inhale,”

I put the end of the Darh stick in my mouth, hitting the strike to create a little flame. There was a crackle as the plasma caught the end of the paper and I drew air like a straw to pull the heat into the herbs, lighting them. A sweet smelling smoke coiled lazily from the fresh ember and I drew another breath, pulling smoke from the herbs, coughing a little. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, it's normal… now here, just breath in through your mouth, slow and shallow,”

I pulled deep on the smoking herbs, filled my lungs and leaned into him, grabbing his chin to coax his lips open, exhaling slowly into his mouth. Smoke leaked between our lips, as we shared the hit, his arms wrapping about my waist as I pulled back again. 

He coughed as he exhaled what I gave him, but tried to suppress it, putting on a brave face.

Cute. 

I took another puff, but let him sit with what he had. 

“What's supposed to happen?”

“Give it a minute, it'll absorb into your blood stream and travel to your brain, everything will feel a little slower…”

Clipping the burning end of the roll, I set aside the rest. The first wave was already starting to hit me, the air taking on the thicker quality of water, the illusion of more resistance. More importantly my thoughts slowed.

The ever whirring flow of information halved it's speed and I could peer through my thoughts a little more carefully, examine them longer before they slipped out of sight again. 

Right now I was staring at Crosshair. My position was slouched, even to his face. A small crack in the drawn curtains was letting in a beam of moonlight to cut across his features, highlighting his tattoo. 

I love this tattoo…

My fingertips were reaching out to it and he leaned into my touch, closing his eyes. He was probably floating by now. 

I scooted closer, resting my elbows on his shoulders my one hand still cradled his temple, thumb tracing the thin lines of ink over his brow. I set the other to stroke his head, starting from brow to neck. 

Bristles of new growth had began to come in across his scalp, coarse against my skin. I delighted in the tactile feel of it, bringing both hands up to massage with my nails and fingertips.  

“So you do have hair,”

“I actually have amazing hair… it's just been easier to keep it off,”

“Is that so?”

I scratched a tad more vigorously and he leaned into it. 

“Maker, it's been driving me crazy,”

He giggled,

“Whatever you do, don't stop till it's fully grown back,”

I laughed lightly at his sudden, boyish demeanor, but my fingers were starting to cramp and I eventually had to stop to a sad whine from the intoxicated man. 

I quieted him with kisses, soft, small kisses… to the corner of his mouth, his nose, the cheekbone and brow. Feeling the shapes against the sensitive flesh of my lips, mapping his face, imprinting a memory. As I pressed my lips lightly to his forehead I felt his breath heavy against my neck, breathing in the scent that had been spritzed there,

“You'll come back to Coruscant… won't you, Tahny?”

“No one could keep me away, once whatever this is has blown over I'll be back,”

“...and I can come see you?”

“Of course, Cross, whenever you want…”

He relaxed into me, arms tightening slightly as he sat still, breathing me in.

“So…”

I slowly rocked back, sitting even with him again. 

“...the toothpicks?”

“If I tell you will you scratch my head again?”

We both giggled a little at that,

“Sure,”

…

I waited while he gathered his thoughts through the haze of the Darh root. 

“Back when we were cadets, there was a holofilm, Tech somehow managed to get a hold of it… an old Outer Expansion story about a gunslinger,”

I raised my brow, those old films were hokey, but I couldn't deny I liked them occasionally. 

“This gunslinger kind of became my hero…”

“What was the name of it?”

He flushed, looking down. 

“We didn't know… it was a silent film, the text files had gotten corrupted so the cards between scenes were just blank, I was meaning to ask Tech if he could look for it again…”

He trailed off. 

“So, your hero…?”

“He was the stoic good guy, never missed a shot or took insults, good guys could smoke in those days… but, obviously I couldn't,”

I was starting to put the pieces together and my heart started to warm. 

“I started taking toothpicks from the mess hall, and chewing on them to… look tough like the gunslinger,”

He said the last part fast and looked away, his cheeks turning bright red. 

My heart melted completely. Though I had little reference, I couldn't help but try to imagine a young Crosshair on Kamino. 

Tiny Crosshair with toothpicks. Tiny Crosshair making finger guns at the other clones. Tiny Crosshair acting like an Outer Expansion action star. By Be'llahl, can I survive without a heart?

I couldn't handle this story high, that was for sure, and resisted the urge to start bawling from the adorable imagery that flooded me. To disguise my distress I pulled him to me in a hug that could probably crush bones. 

He leaned against me, yawning. 

“Don't ever tell anyone that…”

“Who would I tell?”

…

“Jar'ath.”

“I absolutely would not tell Jar'ath.”

“Kahtzi.”

…

“Okay, I might tell Kahtzi,”

He groaned into my shoulder but seemed to accept that reality. 

“Scratches?”

“Mhmm, let's move though, you're getting tired and my legs are falling asleep,”

I slid to the floor and he obediently followed as I took his hand, guiding him from the sunken alcove back to the bed at the center of the room. 

I stacked the pillows into a nest and crawled in, fancy dress and all, reaching for my lover staring down at me dreamily through an addled haze. He crawled, more clumsily than usual, over me, resting his head against my chest with a relieved sigh. 

Starting slow I worked my nails in little circles, up and down, careful around the edge of his scar. His breathing eventually became heavy, the drinks and food and smoke catching up to him after an absurdly long day. 

I wasn't fairing much better, my hands folded around him and still, eyes heavy but… watching him sleep, not thinking much of tomorrow.

It felt important to remember him like this. Unguarded, content. There wasn't much time left, it was important to drink him in… like sweet water. 

~~~

BONUS TRACK: This kept playing while I was doing the illustrations.

It's them ✨

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