#cronching these thoughts like a tasty snack

[moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom]

I know I joke a lot about Alex being a pathetic white boy poor kicked puppy uwu malewife but at his heart, he really just hates to see people hurt. he hates to hurt people and hates to see them hurting. he hates people who hurt other people. he’s been hurt and doesn’t want anyone else to feel like that. in the rebel au, he defects from the empire because he saw how they were hurting the people they were supposed to protect. he’s been through so much and still finds it in him to be empathetic to the pain in others.

[trashcanfanfics]

uh legit can't remember if I sent this in already but I think it'd be hilarious if there was the hh overlords with a s\o whos kinda like genz??!! like the self deprecating jokes, not really taking great care of themselves,"asphyxiation is my kink but its not fun until they finish the job"

(that joke was one I found a while ago and constant die of laughter whenever I hear it lol)

Absolutely!

That joke is really funny and I laughed when I read this request

Alastor:

*Doesn't quite get your humor but enjoys how chaotic you are

*He worries about you not taking care of yourself and the things you do that put you in harms way

*You said you wanted to "cronch" on glass and he just stared at you with slight concern

*He gives you snacks throughout the day and gives you a water bottle twice daily

*One day you only spoke in memes and only Vaggie was able to decipher what the fuck you were talking about

*"Wow, that was so pog" "darling, please"

*You say the most out of pocket shit and he doesn't understand but he's supportive (until it comes to putting yourself down)

*Would argue with you that you're amazing and he loves you

*"Oh, I just shivered, I wonder what that was?"

*"You're skeleton is ready to hatch"

*Cue confused and slightly horrified deer noises

Rosie:

*She doesn't understand at all

*She'll be sitting across the room watching you dance like "????"

*"I'm gonna throw a twisted tea at Vox"

*"What?"

*The self depricating jokes get a long lecture and presentation on why she loves you and thinks you're amazing

*There is no way that you can't take care of yourself because she'll be making three squared meals a day and has enough snacks that she carries around to feed a small country

*"Asphixiation is my kink but it's not fun until they finish the job"

*She knits her eyebrows in confusion and gently puts her hand around your throat

*Nearly had a heart attack when she saw you jump from the roof yelling "YEET"

*She caught you and had to calm her brething while holding you tightly

*You are supervised for the next month and not allowed out of her sight

Valentino:

*After you make that one joke, he chokes you in bed now

*Doesn't get your humor but thinks you're joking about everything so he just kinda laughs

*You do things that make him question how he finds you attractive

*Caught you crouched on the kitchen table and drinking a monster energy drink in the middle of the night

*You take full advantage that your eyes are reflective now and it scares the shit out of him

*You were on a video call with him and he noticed you were on the roof

*"Yo, what if I just, like, jumped off this right now?"

*He'd tell you not to and that he's on the other side of the Pentagram and wouldn't be able to catch you

*Is worried when you tell him that's the point

*You drop your phone on accident and he thinks you fell off/actually did jump

*He's never flown so fast

*No more rooftops for you

*Forces you to at least drink water daily

Velvet:

*"Same"

*She gets your humor and has the same sense of humor you do

*Y'all speak exclusively in memes in front of Vox and Val to confuse them often

*Y'all eat enough junk food to give God diabetes

*Will indulge in your chaotic nature

*You both do stupid shit and share one braincell

*But sometimes you forget it at home

*"I thought you were bae, turns out you were just fam" "bruh"

*You call Vox a Boomer and she just fuckin loses it

*You casually say that glass looks tasty and she agrees

*You were hanging with Val once and asked him if he wated to catch a fade and Velvet's on the other side of the room

*"Nah, he doesn't want that smoke"

*Val went home crying

Vox:

*You called him your "little pogchamp" and he just "thank you??"

*Has seen you flat out demolish someone using your slang and insults

*Velvet and you have conversations and switch to your slang and he can no longer follow the conversation

*Tries to research and understand memes but it's like your dad trying to use modern slang to relate to you

*You're constantly munching on chips and he brings you sandwiches after seeing you only moe down on a family sized bag of corn chips

*Gives you water with the flavors in it so you are tricked into being hydrated

*Learned the phrase "hydrate before you die-drate" and began using it on you while throwing a water bottle in your direction

*He's getting the hang of it

[lihikainanea]

it’s really weird to explain. it’s like… the WAY something crunches can just really trigger all my nope buttons. like i used to not be able to handle apples, bc yes tasty and cronchy, but there was also this weird flaky kind of feeling that was just NOPE. And even now, I still have to peel the apple bc I don’t like the texture of apple peel. And don’t get me started on lettuce. I gag at the thought of a leafy texture. Celery? Why is it stringy? No. I can’t even begin to think about cauliflower or broccoli. Those freak me tf out. And then like a regular green bean has this weird like firm-mush-firm that really makes me want to not. And smells are also a huge factor for me. If it doesn’t smell good, I’m not gonna eat it. A huge part of what you taste is also what you smell, so for me if it smells like a fart, it’s gonna taste like a fart and I don’t want to eat a fart. So like asparagus (which also freaks me out like broccoli does in terms of texture) and cabbage, and other stinky veggies? Not a chance in hell.

that....actually kind of makes perfect sense.

I LOVE all things that go cronch (except carrots, because fuck carrots) so I'm always snacking on veggies. But I DO have a thing for hot lettuce--like, get the fuck away from me with hot lettuce. Grilled Caesar salad? Nope. Lettuce on a hot sandwich? GET THE FUCK OUT. I can't deal with soggy, slimy, hot lettuce.

One of puppet's favourite snacks is actually cauliflower, and for as much as he loves eating it--I love love love LOVE hearing him cronch on it, it's so supremely satisfying.

[onenicebugperday]

Since you liked Cronch so much, I thought I’d send more of them, along with one of my others (out of 4) the bigger one is Lenny II. Here they are eating a nice cherry tomato and some bell pepper, yum. 🍅

Yessssssssss I hope they get so big n fat! What a great life they get to live, feasting on tasty snacks until they turn into a beautiful moth. Amazing.