#critical hit: optimus will never fully recover

[lets-try-some-writing]

has optimus ever gotten drunk around the kids.. (tfp)

:) Oh this will be fun.

Drunk as Pit

It was one time. One. Time. But that was all that it took for Optimus's entire reputation to go down the drain.

It wasn't even on purpose, but after a particularly harsh battle where Optimus nearly got beheaded and Bumblebee almost fell off a cliff, the team collectively decided it was time to relax. Ratchet, being the closet party ambulance that he is, pulled out some high grade he had been storing for who knows how long. Wheeljack brought some energex and Arcee quietly put some recreational drugs on the table as well. And while Optimus originally intended to not have any part in the celebrations, Wheeljack in his infinite wisdom decided it would be a grand idea to slip Optimus a cocktail of all three of the items that the team had brought out for consumption.

And by Primus, Wheeljack to this day is unsure if he regrets his decision or stands by it.

He handed Optimus a cube of energon that was in reality his intoxicating abomination and did his best to keep a straight face as Optimus accepted it kindly and chugged to whole thing at once due to its small size in comparison to his frame. After an hour of no reaction Wheeljack thought that Optimus's ability to withstand drunkenness' might have been indominable. But then out of the blue, Optimus dropped to the floor giggling quietly, his frame rattling with near silent laughter. The Prime just laid there on the floor for over ten minutes much to the confusion and horror of the team who were either too stoned or drunk to do much about it by that point.

The children who were enjoying cookies and cartoons on their platform took one look at the situation and their immediate thoughts were "We can use this". Upon seeing Optimus wobble to his pedes with a big dopey smile on his face going around to hug and overall be super clingy with the team, the children came up with an idea.

Miko: Hey Optimus?

Optimus: *sloshed as pit* Yesh?

Miko: *struggling to not cackle* You want to take some pictures?

Optimus: Shur, I've alwayshed liked pictshurs

Ratchet: *monotone and stoned out of his mind but still aware enough to see the trap* Optimus... no... don't do it.

Miko: Come on Optimus! Picture time!

Optimus in his drugged up and drunk state had no objection to having the children cover his faceplate in paint reminiscent of makeup. He also had no issues whatsoever with the children convincing him to do all sorts of signs and make all kinds of faces for their photos. To him it was all fun and games, something that he greatly enjoyed as Orion Pax. The peace sign he found to be hilarious, the strange dances they had him perform were humorous and silly when compared to Cybertronian dances. It made Optimus feel like a youngling again, especially when the children had him start doing what they called the "Whip and Nae Nae", "Gungnam Style", and more.

The team were horrified and dealt with some serious second hand embarrassment just watching their leader dance around in such an odd and out of character way. Optimus never did anything remotely related to partying, so watching him go all out with ridiculous dances was... startling to say the least. Thankfully for everyone, Optimus passed out on the floor, his frame covered in sharpied doodles of both appropriate and inappropriate nature before the kids could convince him to twerk or do something equally degrading (blame fowler for the second type of doodle, he couldn't not take the chance to get one up on Prime).

Optimus woke up over thirty two hours later with the worst helm ache of his life and positively zero memory of his actions previously. The team for their part refused to look him in the optic at all throughout the day, even when Ratchet was passing Optimus medicine and cleaning off the many human reproductive organs fowler had seen fit to draw all over him. Bumblebee blushed furiously as he helped Optimus get all the paint off his face a bit later and Arcee did her best to avoid Optimus entirely. Bulkhead had evidently given Wheeljack a light beating if the Wrecker's busted lip and cracked shoulder plating were any indicator, but both also refused to look at him as he went to the showers to get the rest of the gunk off.

No bot told Optimus anything, not wanting to destroy his dignity out of respect (Or fear of the whole base beating him up in Wheeljack's case). But the children had no such qualms and the moment they arrived at base, they rubbed every photo and every video in his face. Optimus was mortified and very nearly had a spark attack as more and more of the content was shown to him. He didn't even know he could bend in half the ways he had apparently done so while high as a kite and drunk as pit.

Optimus managed to convince Miko to delete the most incriminating images with the most depressed gaze he could muster, but that day he promised to himself solemnly to never again be caught drunk. He couldn't risk any more humiliation.