#crinklednose

[leapyearkisses]

Not Flattering

@crinklednose commissioned me to write an In/ception fic! I hadn’t watched the movie in many years, but I fell in love with it when it came out and actually wrote a crap ton of stuff back in the day.  I was psyched to revisit my old stomping ground!  Thank you!

~Please consider commissioning me!  Commissions are OPEN~

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Low classical music drifted through the air, joining the convivial sounds of conversation on the outdoor patio.  Diners dressed in black tie finery chatted and laughed over lobster and champagne. Waiters in white uniforms moved from table to table with trays of fancy cocktails with a choreographed grace. The patio glowed gently in the light of braziers, candles, and overhead lanterns strung along the pergola.  Each detail was crisp and evoked nothing more than the finest summer fete.

Arthur leaned on the low brick wall that separated the patio from the walkway around the restaurant and watched as Cobb passed a business card to the mark and shook his hand. Dinner had been going very well so far. The projections were behaving themselves, which was always the chief concern.  He checked his watch.  They still had plenty of time before they needed to be out, too.  Arthur liked it when things went smoothly.  He took a sip of his gin and tonic before setting the glass on the wall, then pressed the on button of his mic.  “Eames?  Cobb is about to hand him off.  Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” came Eames’s reply in his ear.  “I’m on my way to you nh- Nhngtxch!”

Arthur swallowed and tried to ignore the way goosebumps crept over his neck.  “…Bless you.”

“Sorry about that.”  Eames’s voice – or the voice Eames was doing – now came from his earpiece and from behind him.  Arthur turned and found his teammate stepping out of the restaurant.  He was wearing the appearance of the mark’s best friend now, but there was still something very him in the roguish grin he gave Arthur.  “I’m having a touch of allergies.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Well, don’t,” he said.  “Now isn’t the time.”  He pointed out where the mark was sitting.  Cobb was just getting up and heading back into the restaurant on the other side from them. “Rockford’s right over there.  He should be ready to share his start-up idea with you now.”

“On my way,” Eames said. “I’ll have- hh have it in a jiff.”  His nostrils flared and Arthur sighed, sure he would sneeze again, but he didn’t. Instead, he shook himself and adopted the casual slouch of his disguise, and suddenly he seemed to be no more than that: Rockford’s best friend through and through.  He was welcomed to the table and took the chair that Cobb had vacated, spinning it around and sitting on it backwards in a manner most unbecoming of a dinner party.

Arthur went back to his gin, tuning in to the conversation.  Cobb, the clever investor, had gotten the mark all worked up about his future plans, and he was almost comically eager to convince Eames to go in with him.  He was gesturing broadly, even making sketches on his napkin, the fact that it was cloth be damned.

“Just think of the money we’ll make!”  Rockford said in a feverish whisper.  “I know no one else is doing anything like this!”

Eames rubbed his hands together.  “You’re definitely on to something, my old friend,” he laughed, sharp with a New York accent.  “Now we just need to find ourselves some venture capitalists.”

“Well, I just spoke to one here,” said Rockford, tapping his breast pocket where he’d stashed the business card.  “Very interested, and very rich.  But I’ve been talking to a few people at home, too.  He lowered his voice again, and Eames leaned in.  “’Course, some of them are pretty deep into other businesses, so they’ve been talking to me on the down low.  You’ve probably heard of some of them, though.  I’ve got-”                  

Eames lifted a finger. Arthur could see even from his position that Eames’s eyes were fluttering closed.  He fought a blush and a spike of irritation as Eames ducked into his elbow.

“Hh-hegscht!” Eames sighed and sniffed.  “My bad, man.  What were you saying?”  But his voice suddenly seemed loud in the quiet.  Arthur felt the goosebumps come back, but this time it was because all of the projections on the patio were staring at him and Eames, dinners forgotten.

Rockford was frowning, too.  “What was that?” he was saying.  “You sound different.”

Eames cleared his throat and rose from the table.  “It’s just a cold,” he said.  “Let me go get a tissue and I’ll be right back.” He began to walk away from the table with a controlled pace that kicked up a notch when he was halfway across the patio.  By the time he’d reached Arthur, the two of them were almost jogging back into the restaurant.

“Eames!”  Arthur hissed, pushing through a back door into the stairwell, heading for the apartments above the restaurant.  

“I’m sorry!”  To his credit, Eames looked a bit chagrined, but his expression quickly turned to annoyance as his face became his again. “I can’t change how I sneeze, it’s a reflex!  Most people never even notice, just you and apparently Mr. Rockford.”  He shouldered his way into the hallway. “You think he might have the same proclivities, Arthh- hh-” He raised his elbow again.  “Nhgttscht!  Hh- hh- hehgtsct!  Bloody hell.”

“I’m sure I don’t want to know!” said Arthur, now flushed as well as angry.  He drew his Glock from its shoulder holster and dropped a pair of projections who had appeared ahead of them.

“What’s going on?” came Cobb’s voice over his earpiece.  “I’m heading to the rendezvous.”

“We’re blown,” Arthur replied.  “Eames got the plans but not the names of his backers.”

“Copy that.” Cobb sounded pretty calm, but he was used to working in worse circumstances than these.  “I’m actually going to double back to the safe and see if he’s put them in there.  Can you buy me some time?”

“On it.”  Arthur turned down another hallway and shot at another projection, although this one was able to duck behind the corner. Luckily, at least, Rockford’s mind was untrained.  They wouldn’t be facing too many guns, which put them at an advantage.  “Eames, circle around left.”

“I’d rather stick with you, if it’s all the same,” he said.  He’d drawn his own pistol and was aiming it down the corridor with one hand. The other he was using to rub his nose. “I’m not the most coordinated during an allergy attack.”  His nose was starting to look pink and he sniffed again, more wetly.

Arthur scowled. “Fine then, cover me.”  He jogged down the hall and caught the projection from earlier with a bullet in the shoulder this time.  “I really wish you hadn’t picked now to enact one of my fantasies.”

“Oho, I am sure you’re fhh- flattered, Arthur,” Eames growled.  “But I don’t hh- have a habit of playing whih- bloody hell while I work!”  He and Arthur rounded the corner to the other stairwell and headed down again, intent on being a distraction.  Eames covered Arthur when the latter burst back into the kitchen, taking down a chef with a frankly ridiculous carving knife, but his next bullet went wide into the wall as he sneezed.  “Hehgshht! Ngktscht! Kshtt!”  

Arthur took out a pâtissière as she ran at him with a baking tray.  The saucier was right behind her with a steaming pitcher of gravy.  Arthur grit his teeth and jumped out of the way as the man flung the contents at him. “Eames, watch out!” he called, but as he rolled back to his feet, he realized Eames was no longer behind him. He’d vanished.  Arthur felt his eyebrows leap and he touched his mic. “Cobb, hurry up, Eames woke up. Something might be happening above.”

“Two more minutes,” Cobb replied, breathless, but he’d be lucky to get one; Arthur grunted as the poissonnier got him in the neck with a fillet knife, and he sunk to the floor.  A crack appeared in the wall as he closed his eyes.

He opened them in Rockford’s hotel room and sat up quickly.  Even at his first impression, he could tell there’d been a struggle. The bedside table was overturned and broken glass littered the carpet beside the bed.  Rockford was still out with five minutes left on the PASIV, but Arthur had been the dreamer, so that wouldn’t last.  He stripped off his tie and bound Rockford’s hands as a precaution. “Eames?” He didn’t see the forger.

“In here.”  Eames came out of the bathroom.  “The lookout betrayed us.  Thought they might gh- get a bit more heh- hehkgsh!  Hkgsht!”  He pressed a fist to his nose. “Ngkschxt!”  His nose was definitely red now, and his eyes were wet with allergic tears.  Arthur caught a glimpse, too, of wetness on Eames’s upper lip before the forger yanked out a paisley handkerchief and blew his nose aggressively.

The room, Arthur realized, had a strong scent of aftershave.  One of the broken bottles, maybe.  Arthur felt his stomach tighten with guilt.  “Bless you,” he said.  “I, uh. I’m sorry.  I wasn’t thinking you might actually be having a reaction…” Many real-world effects did translate down into the dream levels – rain or flooding if the dreamer had a full bladder, shifts in gravity if the dreamer was moving or moved in their sleep, heat and other oddities if the dreamer was feverish – but Arthur hadn’t really considered allergies before.  Maybe because considering them usually led to him being completely useless for the next twenty minutes.

“I knew your opinion of my work wh- wasn’t the most stellar,” Eames grumbled.  “Hnkstzxcht!”

“It’s not that,” Arthur protested, red as a beet.  “More like I was thinking with my- oh, bless you.  Let me find you another handkerchief…”

“I’d be better off with some cetirizine.”  Eames coughed.

“Go out into the hall,” Arthur said.  “Cobb’s waking.  We’ll meet you outside.”

“Don’t ­hh- hehgtzcht!  Mind if I do.”  Eames removed himself, catching another pair of rushed sneezes as the door shut behind him. Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose and set about cleaning up their gear as Cobb came out of the dream.

---

Back at their hotel room by the airport that night, Arthur brought Eames an apology in the form of a bottle of Glenfiddich and a kiss.  The forger looked much better than earlier after a heavy dose of medication and a lie down, but he wasn’t above a bit of sniping.  Arthur tried to take it quietly, since he knew he’d fucked up. At least Eames didn’t say no when Arthur joined him in the same bed.

“You drive me crazy,” Eames sighed, “So smart and yet you can be so dense sometimes.”

“I deserve that.” Arthur nuzzled Eames’s neck.  “I’m sorry.  Again.  How are you feeling now?”

“Tip top, more or less.” Eames laid a hand over Arthur’s on his bare stomach.  “Tired, though.  And we have an early flight out.”

“We do.”  Arthur settled himself more easily against his pillow, closing his eyes.  “Good night.”

“Good night.” Eames’s stroked his thumb over Arthur’s knuckles for a minute, then spoke up again, a smile in his voice. “So, that’s a fantasy of yours, hm?”

Arthur covered his face with his free hand, ears burning.  “Go to sleep, Mr. Eames.”

[juxtaposedrose]

for the wildflower asks! sunflower and lavender

thanks for the asks!

sunflower (share a really good fic you’ve read recently):

ohh, gotta be @dodecahedral​‘s Yennefer thing that took my admittedly thirsty as hell prompt and absolutely RAN with it. Pretty much everything else on there equally a++ as well, honestly

lavender (gush about your favorite character/pairing and share a fic/art/etc you love that includes them):

ohhh hmm this is. tough, not bc i don’t have characters i thirst after but bc most of the time they aren’t characters people make capital-c Content of lmao.

that being said, as my recent posting indicates i have been very Very into Supergiant’s Hades lately—Zagreus and Megaera in particular, because i mean. I MEAN. their designs and their whole estranged-exes-and-mortal enemies-to-lovers arc, their flirting and banter, Meg’s slowly-cracking veneer of stoicism and focus and her voice (jfc her voice), and Zagreus’s whole effortless, relaxed BDE, and i mean. just. EESH.

anyway if nothing else i have resolved to be the change i want to see so hopefully some content in this vein will be forthcoming some time soon, assuming i can pull myself out of a thirsty fugue state long enough to write

thanks again ~

[lostsneeze]

A few days ago a whole flock of lovely people tagged me in this positivity meme and I not only wasn’t paying attention but also embarrassed myself harder than I have in a long time this same week. So since everyone’s already done this probably I’m going to put my own spin on it, in honor of my cock-up:

Post 5 MORE positive things that you like about yourself AND 5-ish lowkey embarrassing things you’ve done that you can laugh about now. Tag 10 followers to do the same, but only if you want to.

I genuinely enjoy solving problems, even if they’re boring, and it helps me stay patient through difficult or obstinate situations. I can tinker with an excel function, put together ikea furniture, and organize files all with genuine enthusiasm and elation.

I’ve learned over time to be more open-minded towards other people’s perspectives and I have I think a pretty big willingness to see other ways of thinking. Not necessarily always in advance of shooting my mouth off, unfortunately, but I’m working on that.

I can admit when I’m wrong. I’m old enough to know now that this is actually kind of a big deal.

I drink extremely responsibly. I have an excellent sense of how much alcohol goes how far for me, when is a good time to stop drinking, and when I’m not in the emotional state for drinking to be a good idea. This almost entirely thanks to my brother, who ironically had absurdly good advice regarding how to drink “correct” despite struggling with that a lot himself for a long time.

I love just talking about whatever and I love that I can do it so well that other people will willingly go on and on about utter nonsense with me. I’m genuinely interested in hearing about people’s experiences and it’s made me so many friends and helped me learn and mature so much, I can’t imagine who I’d be without the influence of all the people I’ve just killed hours and hours with chatting about nothing in particular.

Okay now the embarrassing but funny things:

For like a year I thought the :< emoticon was supposed to be some kind of sideways duck face. I thought it was supposed to mean like, awkwardness, like if you just punctuated a sentence with “quack.” I also used it like that’s what it meant. For a YEAR.

I have, on multiple occasions, been the designated navigator for a car trip, and gotten so wrapped up in conversation with the driver that we not only missed turns but had to change onto an entirely new route because we passed our turnoff by so much.

The first time I made mac n cheese I did not piece together that you can’t just put all the ingredients in at once and was boiling milk and butter along with the noodles and cheese for a while before someone else in the apartment smelled it and went, “...hang on.”

There was a brief period of time as a teenager when I thought “meme” was pronounced “me me.”

I had to interrupt a makeout session I was having with a girl to say “Hey uh listen I feel like I should let you know that um, y’know we’ve talked about how I actually haven’t dated much before, and like I wasn’t really sure how this evening was going to go, so I wasn’t exactly, um, prepared, which is to say...” and was ready to go on like that for probably another 5 minutes before she mercifully interrupted and just guessed “you don’t have any condoms do you.” I did not.

@outoftheinkwell @uhhmmm @stargayzerlilies @usagikushami @livayl @juxtaposedrose @zensations35 @inconvenient-sneezes @caramelfuzz @crinklednose

[biacarol]

For some reason it is the best thing to happen this year till now, the best selfie I've seen, the cutest little boy face I know! I love you so much it hurts so badly, but the pain just makes me love you even more, how is it possible? Nothing is better and more motivating to keep me alive than you my Irish puppy with crinkled nose Nialler! I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK! BC 😏💙😘🇮🇪🍀😍 #NiallJamesHoran #NiallYouAreMyLife #MyEverything #MySafety #MyOnlyLove #MySoulMate #MyReasonToBeAlive #Blonde #CharmingNiall #LoveToNiall #LettersToNiall #Happiness #HappyNiall #DailyLettersToNiall #Perfect #ProudOfYou #Irish #Proud #handsome #angel #perfection #bestsmileever #laugh #life #NiallSelfie #PuppyNiall #selfie #snapchat #crinklednose

[noseaction]

Here’s a V/enom ficlet that’s been on the back-burner for like a decade or whatever in which V/enom attempts to make breakfast for a sick E/ddie. 

I know it’s late! I’m sorry! Maybe one day I’ll get a fic posted when it’s actually in demand. Also thanks @crinklednose for proofreading this ages ago and for the encouragement, I finally posted it! Also don’t blame her for the grammatical errors cause I’ve changed some shit up since then.

Fic under the cut!

Before Eddie can half wake up he’s leant over the side of the couch trembling with sudden tickly, irritated coughs. As soon as he reaches relative consciousness he notes that he definitely feels worse than he did last night. At peak consciousness he realises why.

A thick black goo reaches down his leg and extends from his foot dangling where he’d crashed the night before. It leads into the kitchen ten feet away where Eddie can now see Venom by the oven. At least, his face. And tendrils he’s currently using as hands to sift through every cupboard there.

Eddie sits upright and manages a “what are you doing?” before succumbing to another fit of coughs, more desperate than the last.

We are hungry.

“I’m not hungry,” Eddie chokes. He can see the smoke now. The smoke alarm mustn’t be active. With his head presently throbbing this doesn’t bother him so much.

We are sick Eddie. We have not been out for days now. We need to eat.

Eddie picks his cellphone up from the floor and notices his reflection. His nose is pink and chafed and his eyes are slightly bloodshot, no doubt due to the smoke now filling the apartment. He rubs his face all over determinedly but stops when the smoke pushes his sensitive nose over the edge and his torso is thrust downward with two wet, helpless sneezes.

“Heh'DZZZshh! Heh'SSSSSHuh!”

Venom purrs a faint ���bless you’ from the kitchen.

“Thank you.”

Eddie sighs and -with slight vigilance- gets up now.

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you were trying to kill me.”

A pan sits atop the stove, flame much too high. It’s difficult for Eddie to decipher most of its contents. Looks like a few pieces of bread. Peanut butter. Coffee granules are scattered over the stove top so they’re probably in there too. Cornflakes. Eggs. Venom’s pouring milk in there now. And an excessive amount of pepper.

“Is this supposed to be breakfast?”

These are foods you eat for breakfast.

“Yeah, but… not like this. Not all together like this.” 

Eddie manages to turn away from the symbiote just in time to sneeze once more into his sleeve.

“Heh'DSSSHHH! Look, Venom I know what you’re trying to do but that’s not how cooking works. And you’re not helping my nose much. You gotta turn that off.”

But we must eat.

“If you think I’m eating that you’re mistaken.”

Venom looks downward, almost a little hurt, reaches a tendril around the dial on the stove and turns it off. Peppery milk bubbles awkwardly amid other soggy ingredients which do not belong together. Eddie can tell he feels offended. Venom wouldn’t normally act like this but he figures if he’s sick, Venom must be too.

Eddie we don’t feel good.

“No, buddy. We don’t. I gotta ope… Heh'GSHHHHuh! Open some windows.”

Sorry Eddie.

Eddie’s features soften. He thinks for a moment.

“You know what makes you feel better when you’re not feeling good?” He smiles knowingly.

What?

“Chocolate.”

[docjamie]

oh damn its an a-z meme

Tagged by @mypoorfaves and @crinklednose. You guys are the best! (EDIT: also tagged by @nnatto, i apologize deeply)

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

a - age: 20

b - birthplace: The good ol’ south carolina of the good ol’ united states. You know, where its legal to marry your cousin. :) :) :)

c - current time: 1:28 AM cause I’m a nocturnal motherfucker

d - drink you last had: sweet tea (can you tell i’m southern)

e - easiest person to talk to: Oh man, everyone is nice, I’m the one that’s anti-social, lol

f - *current* favourite song: Serious by the Neighbourhood and FOOLS by Troye Sivan

g - grossest memory: Its fucking story time because I am randomly haunted by this memory. So I’m in 2nd grade and we’re waiting on the teacher to get to the classroom. This girl, her name was Princess, she had a chocolate milk carton from breakfast and it was almost empty. And then this bitch hocks up like this ball of sinful phlegm and spits it into her milk carton and PROCEEDS TO DRINK THE FRESHLY LOOGIED CHOCOLATE MILK. I randomly remember that memory vividly and I think I’m still shooketh from that unholy raunchiness.

h - horror yes or horror no: I honestly like them if I’m with friends!

i - in love?: No but I kinda wish. Seems like it would be nice.

j - jealous of people?: Hnn, I can’t even lie to myself. I do sometimes get envious of other people’s art and writing because I don’t think I have much of a skill set anywhere, so I can get really insecure about my art and writing sometimes.

l - love at first sight or should i walk by again?: I don’t know if there’s such thing as “love at first sight”. Its not the first glance that keeps my attention, its the genuine commitment and partnership that makes love

m - middle name: Amber

n - number of siblings: One. (Technically 2, but that’s another story)

o - one wish: You know I don’t care if I sound preachy, but I wish people minded their own business sometimes, you know? Its 2018. People are gay. People aren’t their assigned gender at birth. Women get abortions. Christianity isn’t the only religion in the world. Its not hurting you is someone in a different state got married to their same-sex partner Karen so stop clutching your pearls.

p - person you called last: My mama!

q - question you are always (often) asked: “are you okay?” by everyone. Its either a joke or sincere, lmao

r - reason to smile: I’m working on what I want to do in life, I have a family that loves me and close friends. I’d say things are pretty good right now!

s - song you sang last: Will He by Joji

t - time you woke up: My alarm is set for 8:15 AM, but I didn’t get out of my bed until 9:20.

u - underwear colour: Fancy paisley print

v - vacation destination: Canada or Japan (I think they’re a taaad sick of Americans though)

w - worst habit: I uh...might have a bit of a self-mutilation problem? DON’T BE CONCERNED, its just I pick at my skin to the point of bleeding a lot. I’m trying to break it.

x - x-rays: Of course there are the dental ones, but one time I really hurt my shoulder and had to get an x-ray for that. I also got an x-ray for my feet, but it turned out to be a muscle issue, not bone related

y - your favourite food: either mac and cheese or sushi.

z - zodiac sign: I’m one of those bitches that use cusps, but I’m sorry, there’s no way my social anxiety ridden ass is a full Leo. (leo/virgo cusp)

[mounttu]

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[lilmissmanagement-blog]

He's such a weirdo 😂 #billy #sleepypuppy #crinklednose #chihuahuasofinstagram #dogsofinstagram

[noseaction]

@crinklednose considering making some locke gifs today... 😌

[stayathomemamaof6]

Texting #DaddyChris #crinklednose #imsocute

[holdingontothefuture]

Yea. She's tougher than you.. #MyToughGf #ScowlsofInstagram #CrinkledNose #AngryEyes (at Woodmere Creek Apts. (home))

[aprrilshowerrs]

Riley's stink face 😜 #rileyfoxr #rileyfox #rileyrector #stinkeye #stinkface #sniff #nose #crinklednose #baby #daughter #laughs #love #funny #haha #lol #mom_hub #babiesofinstagram #instababy #instagood #instafunny #8months