#cringe but free? no. its only freedom if you dont think of it as cringe at all

[hellspawnmotel]

in january I watched like 10 hours of homestar runner and drew these and then forgot about them. then I said to myself "I guess I'll post them on labor day?" well it's labor day

[bloodycassian]

SHADOW V SHADOW - reader x Azriel PROMPT -  I have a request. Can you make one where azriel's partner is kidnapped and tortured by people from the court of nightmares? then he gets desperate, but finally manages to find her, he arrives pissed off at the place and at the end of everything is right please?.

Rhys knew Azriel would never forgive him if he denied this request. His brother was practically vibrating with rage when he returned from Rask. His search for you took him to any whisper of  a lead he could find. Without another option, he requested - more of a demand but Rhys could see why- to pay Kier a visit.  Rhys gave Kier the courtesy of a day of preparation.  Azriel dressed in his darkest armor, and didn't hide the way his siphons glowed bright in the throne room. Rhys quieted the gathering with a hand, and Az let his shadows do the work. He scanned the crowd for anyone who looked to be nervous. Well, more nervous than usual in the presence of their high lord.  "I think you all know that we have been busy of late." Rhys drawled. He scanned the crowd as well, his mind flicking from one person to the next. "Back left, take him and leave. There may be more that notice you." Azriel walked off the platform, and turned to mist. + The first male to meet his end was the one who spat in his face and promised him that you were already dead. The next was smarter. He saw what was done to his friend and begged Azriel for mercy. "Your mate is locked far below." He quivered in his seat where Azriel had tied him. "But he watches her. He watched over us all."  "Who?" Azriel ground out, the tip of his dagger carving a crescent into the high cheekbone of the noble Fae. "Riker, he's below. He's far below, where Kier's magic does not touch."  "You've been useful." Azriel nodded, then jutted his dagger into the male's stomach. His hands did not shake. He wiped them on the male's tunic and left the body where it was tied. He had more digging to do, apparently.  And Kier was the first person he would ask. + "Who's Riker?" Rhys asked casually, holding Kier's mind in the now empty throne room. Kier's body twitched in defiance of Rhy's control.  "I dont-" Kier gasped. Azriel stepped closer to the male, menacing. The shadows crept up Kier's legs. Azriel did not flinch when Rhys' power squeezed the breath from him. "Dont be shy. Tell us all about it." Rhys coaxed. Finally, Kier gave the slightest nod. And Rhys let him drop to the floor, gasping for air. Azriel kept his shadows around the male, just in case. "Riker was a story. A legend from when I was a child. No one has heard of him since the Final Battle of the Prison." He gasped, and sputtered on the floor. When he looked up, his eyes were bloodshot. They still narrowed at Rhysand.  "What were the legends of?" Azriel demanded, ready to let his tendrils of darkness assert themselves over the male. Kier managed a laugh, then looked to both of them quizzically. "You're serious." He sighed, and wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth. Rhys was not amused. His claws danced along the edge of his consciousness. "He was a horror to all. Not a Fae.. not really. He possessed the bodies of fae to do his bidding. Like a poison, he takes control and forces you to do as he wishes. If its killing, or stealing, or fucking. Anything. You have no control."  Azriel's stomach dropped to the floor.  He and his brother glanced at each other, and Rhys nodded a curt dismissal to Kier. "Dont look for him. He will use your magic to destroy anything." He warned, giving Rhys a long look before limping from the throne room. + "The shadow will bring freedom to us. We will leave this hole and be free." The priestess said, as if reading from a book. See recited the words like they were Holy. You cringed in disgust. It wasnt the first time you'd heard one of the eyeless creatures say it, but it was one of the scariest encounters since you'd been taken. The dead eyes of the withering priestess were haunting. Perhaps taken was the wrong word. You seemed to just wake up and decide to start walking. Your mind screamed against what you were doing, but you couldn't stop. Your bare feet led you from your bed and Azriel, down the ten thousand steps, and through rocky terrain of the mountainside. You walked and walked, feet bleeding until you came to the small rock crevice in the side of the mountain.  You fought yourself, your mind panicked. Your body squeezed between the crack though, and you tried to reach down your bond to Azriel again. A dark shadow that was not him clamped down on your mind. Your panicked thoughts dissipated, and you couldn't remember why you were fighting anymore. You walked expertly down the worn path through the rocks, as if you'd walked it a million times before. The dripping walls let in a minimal cold whisk of air. And without thinking, you walked yourself into a cell at the end of the long hall. And sat in the center of it.  The priestess that locked the door behind you was withering. Her cheekbones sunk in, and the opal atop her head was gray, dull. "Welcome." She said, voice otherworldly.  + Azriel circled the mountain at least fifty times before he landed. Cassian was waiting for him at the small entrance they had found. "All clear, let's go." Azriel placed a hand on the pale rock and ducked his head inside. Cassian grabbed his wrist. "We need to be careful. Rhys cant help us once we go in there." He gave his brother a stern look. Azriel brushed off the concern, but nodded.  The path was well worn into the stone. And there was where Azriel picked up the first hint of your presence since you had been taken. His heart painfully kicked up speed. The blood on the floor was minimal, but it was there. Cassian noted it too, and set a pace too slow going forward. Azriel wished he could let his muscles be free to run straight down the long hall and find you. He listened to his brother though, trusting him more than his instincts. The sight of you was the biggest relief he'd ever had. Then, the biggest fear. Your eyes were dull, hollow. He tried reaching for your bond, but it was gray and limp. Like there was nothing at the other end of it. He called for you, then he was screaming down the tendril that once was light and happiness.  And nothing called back. Cassian's breath caught in his throat, Azriel turned to his brother. Shock was there in his eyes, and gut wrenching terror.

 A dark spindling shadow was curling around him, seeping the hazel from his eyes and replacing it with the same dull gray that stained yours. He was frozen. As hard as he tried, Cassian couldn't fight the tinging fog that possessed him. It crept into his mind "Hello, lord of bloodshed...." They whispered to him. 

 Azriel threw himself at his brother, knocking the shadows away with his siphons. His own dark mist fought the fog that slowly filled the room. The fight was intense between them, Az's darkness was losing. They sputtered to life and kept them at bay while Cassian recovered from the shadowsinger's blow. "Go. Take my mate and run." Azriel growled at him.  Cassian's eyes went wide, and he glanced to the cell where you sat. He and Azriel went into action at the same time, Azriel striking the dark figure that seeped down from the ceiling. Human in shape, but it revelaed nothing beyond that. It was a ghost, a large demon waiting to strike. It hovered over the Illyrians, and they began a fight against a shadow itself.

It was a trap. Idiot. His mind screamed at him. Cassian blasted his shield out, knocking your cell door out of the way. You didn't move. Az's stomach flipped, his eyes piercing you. But you did not feel it. You didn't feel a damned thing, even as your mind thrashed against the control the demon had. "Shadows will free you...." The dark tendrils whispered into your mind. Then, the room went totally dark. Ravik's power coursed through the ancient stone walls. Cassian barreled into the fight with his brother, shoving the dark figure back. The black clouds swirled around their fighting forms. It grew and grew until Az couldn't see his own siphons anymore. 

He gave a final scream down your bond, latching on to that link and pulling. Then he saw the fog there. The layer that overtook your thoughts. "Spread this sickness. Spread the knowledge. Love the Master." They chanted. It made his stomach coil. He went deeper into your mind and pushed, pushed out and kept that shadow away long enough for you to do the rest yourself. You shoved and fought and kicked it away. Your mind was exhausted, but you held onto Az's cool grip like it was a tether to reality. Then, you saw everything clearly again.  The darkness that encapsulated the two Illyrians avoided you. Like a bubble, they spared you from the blindness that kept Az and Cas from killing their target. You saw the golden sword strapped to Az's back instead of Truth Teller. And the reason they freed you instead of fighting first became clear. You took the sword from its sheath and shoved it into the figure between the brothers. Morrigan's sword sputtered light through the dark folds of the shadows. It hissed and popped, then.. it was gone. The shadows consumed it, then the golden light started seeping from every corner of the room. The light was blinding, then it was ringing. The piercing sound rattled the floor, then the walls. The sound of rock cracking and reforming was loud only for a second. Az felt the blood running down his jaw from his ears. His shadows turned him into wind itself. He took you and Cassian with him, and led him winnowed out of the crumbling mountainside. His wings flared, keeping you from plummeting to the ground together on the exit. Cas was right beside him, used to the strange feeling of Azriel's form of winnowing.  The ground shook where you landed on the coast line. The morning light shone through the dust that erupted from the top and side of the mountain. The house of wind on the diagonal side remained intact. But the opposing side collapsed, rolling boulders and trees and dirt all the way down to the ocean. The waves could not stand against such a force. Cassian kept a shield up just in case. Cries of terror sounded from Velaris. Az fell to his knees in the wet sand, and hid his face in his palms.  "Az... It's okay." You breathed, falling to his side with him. "Where's-" "He's gone. I can feel it. You killed him." You said with a hysterical laugh. The memories of being locked in the cell seemed dim now. Azriel stared at the trees and dirt falling, revealing the inside of the mountain that bordered Velaris. He tugged on the bond and you smiled, pulling him close to you. He rested his head on your shoulder as you observed the destruction together.  "I'll check for any injured..." Cassian took off, flying high above the ruins once they settled. Winged pets of the Hewn city began flying out of the mountain. Rhys was landing beside you and Az in an instant. "This is coming out of your paychecks." He said with a smile. Az couldn't spare one back. The terror of what he had released into Prythian dampened the mood. "We killed it. We did this." You spoke softly to him. Trying to ease the guilt he felt. He brushed you off. "As if you had a choice. It was a trap for Cass and I. One that I fell into so easily that-" You shook him through the bond, jarring him out of his despair. "Dont be so self centered." You thought, the tingle of a wink flowing through you. His feelings were a mask to you. "Dont do that." You were getting more and more frustrated with him by the second.  You caught him by the hand and wrapped around him in the sand, not caring if you got dirty. The ocean behind you roared and crashed, fighting against the new land that had spilled into it. "He already owes Mor another sword, take it easy on him." Cassian joked with the high lord. He landed with a softness that left the sand dry where his wings swooped down. The sheer power of him was waiting for its turn to be let loose. You could tell by those siphons flaring repeatedly.  Az's were dull. You clamped down on your frustration. Cassian began his report. "Some of the.. darker monsters wont live. But the smarter ones are already tunneling down. The court of Nightmares seems to be waiting it out." He spoke with expertise, staring as the dust settled on the mountainside.  The four of you stared at the ruined hillside for a long while. There were no injuries. No deaths. the cave in was so far from the borders of the Hewn city that the worst damage done was a few broken sculptures inside the throne room. The dust finally settled and you still watched, even as night fell. Rhys left to deal with the repercussions of the madness, but Azriel stayed wrapped around you, peeking at the ruin every now and then. He tried to hold back the waves of fear and shame that threatened to overtake him. You felt them there, and didn't push him. Cassian's breath caught. Then, a few brave souls ventured out of the tunnel systems that had been exposed. You watched tensely, observing how the group behind them reacted. They marveled at the twilight sun setting over the ocean. Rhys flew high above them, circling. Ready to destroy if they threatened the city. After a few moments of staring at the ocean and outside world, they turned back inside.  The high lord landed besides you again, his power blooming from him. Waiting to be released. Rhys sighed, and folded his wings in. "The court of nightmares just may be the new twin city of Velaris." 

[undermattsun-archive]

japan national team x reader | w.c 1.3k

a/n: omg guys here’s the super cute epic collab fic i made w all my frieednsies <33 we all worked superrrr hard on this so pls don’t be mean!!!!!!!!! pls enjoy its xoxox and don’t forget to follow everyone here on this kidnapped by hq collab <33333333333

warnings: not proofread bc who does that xD (guys pls free me from this hell i’m in so much pain i didn’t even look at this i skimmed over it i left it as is, gg)

Read this while lsitening to the best song evar!!!!!!!!!!!1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_cXhBy78T4&ab_channel=JonasBrothers if you dont listen whil reading ill eat ur family MONCH MONCH MONCH

i go dwnstars, yelling ‘by mum!’ bfor laceing up my wite convrrse hightops (NOT blck becauz u cant sharpi on it) wth 1d lyrics scribbled on it. i rmb to draw a directioner infinite sign on mywrist. perfect, i think to mysdlf.

I never thot i would get to go to the olympics all the way on the other side of the planet in toky o japan! It was a dream come true for a simple, average, run of the mill girrl like me, who is 5’7 with naturally wavy hair, that’s not curly or strait and eyes as blue as the dark blue part of the ocean. 

I been dreaming of the olypoics since fetus. I just knew I had to be here, but I never thought it would actually happen. The only thing that would make it better is if I had a smezxy smexy boyfrwend! (A/n: Tee-hee! Maybe even two! (Or five! <333) haha! Aren’t I so quirky? <3)

I’m Wearing A Mint Green Crop Top That Ties In The Front And Some Denim Shorts With Black Converse. I Don’t Need Makeup Because My Skin Is Naturally Smooth And Clear And My Lips Are Already Red #wokeuplikethis And I Listened Only To MCR And P!ATD On The Plane Ride. I Bet You Dont Know Who They Are, THey’re My Favorite Banxds And Are Super GOod And Like Underground Bands. (A/n: Okay But If You Don’t LIke Welcome TO THe BLack Parade GTFO Of My FIc I Don’t Need YOu Here xoxo) 

ok so like,, im on my way to the olympics but then like, i get kidnapped !!! the car i was in was like super expensive and i cant see anything with the blindfold on. i hear voices of men all around me though, for like, a whole 30 minutes before they bring me somewhere and tie me up? "Take Her BLindfold off," one of them say, i hear. and im so nervous. but it's like a dream when they tug my blindfold off and im met with the prettiest emerald orbs ever looking back at me.

my stomach knotted in fear (more like an angry swarm of butterflies fluttering around ) i feel like screaming or squealing or both bc those eyes belong to someone so gorgeous . even more gorgeous than harry styles. hes like a god. i woukd so worship his foot. or something. (squee omg i can’t believe this is happening. i bet you wish that it was you huh?) 

bro who tf has emerald orbs green eyes im blanking rn

^ yo i was gonna ask i cannot for the life of me remember who

his #afff14 sppheres peered into my soul i really just felt seen. i took a deep breath before fainting he was just so pretty. *one hours later* i woke upa nd saw the pretty viridescent peepers staring into mine. like he was literally two inches away from my face omg i could feel his minty breath on my lips it smelled so good.

“My name is atsumu miya,” he said gruffly, the gruffness in his voice so gravely. “And me and me mates here think yer the most gorgeous girl weve ever seen. I blink up at him, orbs gleaming amd full of tears. 

“What do u mean, i’m just a normal quirky girl?” I say shakely, biting my lip. I bit my lip as the piss blond man spoke.

“You don’t know ur beautiful.” YOUR INSECURE DONT KNOW WHAT FOR YOUR TURNING HEADS WHEN YOU WAlk THROUGH THE DO OO OOOOOR

“U may be a normal quirky girl but ur OUR nroaml quirky girl now” his friend said with a deep voice. It was so deep that i almost thot it was like the ocean, he had curly balck hair and his eye were sooo mysterious (a/n i loooove sakusa i can’t believe him and his friends kindapped me omgggg XD)

“Stop it go away” osamu said (hee hee i can never remmber  tell which twin is which LOL i think its osamuuu) “no u have to share” sakusa responded angrily. I starred at them and didn’t know what theyd do next!

I looked over to he side ans see sakura pulling out hand sanitizer passing it around to his teamates. The green orbed boys huff as they put it on. i wished i could see his whole face hes so sedy, look over here pretty girl, i gasp pulled from my thoughts by their captain kita walking into the room with his hands on his hips and was theat aran? “You look even better in peroiusn” aran said to me, walking over to me “how do you know who i am?” i ask.

“listen bbygurl...” he yealls, pulling out a chair to sit acros from me. “you dont get to ask the questions, we are your new masters, and you shall do as we say.” i gulp nervously, my stomach feeling like a sharkndao is happening inside. “we hope u will be worth every penny we payed foru.” 

“M-m-m-masters?” my head felt like it was spinning in a teacup from disney land as i thought about what he just said to me. what did this mean? was i gooing to miss the olympics?? I wanted ot hate him with his super smug look on his face but i cant deny that he looks kind of hot and i’m into guys who look just like him,, the other guys r also relly attractive it makes my heart race. I look around trying to find answers when i make eye contact w a really really reall y tall guy who i thinks name is gao only to see another really really relly tall guy next to him,, hyakuzawa?

“what are yo going to do to me then?” ((*lenny face))

you ask, stomach bubbling. maybe i shoudnt have ateen that stale pizza earlier and washed it down with watermelon-lemon minute maid because now i felt like it was gonna come up. ((ew gross um tw vomit mention hehe)

“Dont worry were going to grab seme din din soon lil one,” one of them says. His name espapes me. Hes a ginger. They wont answer me for some reason and i suddenly miss my freedom when i would go to school (i go to an expesive private school for rich kids ahahah).

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME??” i yell again batting my fists against the ginger but he doesnt even blink. Ive decided hes hot but in a short king kinda way. His hair reminded me of of like cheeto coloured fine thread woven into waves.,,, like the ocean xD (ans...this has an ocean theme)

sudenly there was another voice it was yalling “BOKE HINATA BOKER” i looked with my stricking dark blue orbs and there wasd inother pair of stricking dark blueor bs like the ocean and blck hair. his voicde was veryy deelp an sexxcy (a/n lololol i luv u gakeyama kun *w*)

theres suddenly a loud voice in ur ear screaming directly into ur eardrum " BAKA KAGYEAMA BAKA"  (wtf our they communicating ????  ? )    i cringe at the yellign and another pair of strong arms bulls me away . i land against a hard, solid chest, i can feel the six pack thru his track Suit. 

and then my alarm clock playin what makes u beatyful goes off n i woke up. 

amen.

i rub my eyes wakng up, starrn into the mirror at my super borng brwn ugly eyes and brsh my equaly borng brwn hair. i lok up at m wall and see harey stylz and niallr starinf back at me on t walls. i sigh dreamily. they wud twll me my brwn uairs beatufil. 

[unsanctitude]

I would love love LOVE to know abt any headcanons you have abt Ghirahim!! oh and any abt like. relationship dynamics between him and Vaati kjfhdsakjf.

yes yes i can share some of my thots on ghirahim! i also happen to have thots about him and vaati specifically. i dont even know if i talked about it before since it is a bit cringe but i do not care

a lot of my headcanons for Ghirahim atm are broad and really just deal with like. what happens to him after SS and how his arc goes since i just pretend he doesnt die. if Fi gets to stick around literally until the end of time. then so should he. its equality also full disclosure i still havent played SS i just read about him a lot

-so first. well. i just think he doesnt die. from what ive read it was left pretty ambiguous what became of him after Demise was destroyed, so i think he turned out okay because its convenient for me BUT i do happen to think sword spirits are simply immortal and are designed to outlive their masters, so even if he’s left broken and tarnished, he’d reconstitute over time

-i think the sword spirits each have more free will than they realize, and its Ghirahim that discovers this first. as someone whose spent every waking moment of his existence serving his master, he is left feeling utterly devoid after Demise’s defeat, but also finds himself liberated. In the time spent recuperating i think he made a decision to do literally whatever he wants instead of exacting his revenge or obeying every whim of Demise's incarnations, to oh so selfishly taste the freedom of mortalkind. and spoilers, i do think he becomes addicted to being his own master. Ganon can kiss his gay ass sword goodbye because he is out clubbing.

-idk if SS dives into any meaningful relationship between him and Fi, but i do consider them to be siblings in a way, being the only two of their kind, and i believe he would come refer to her as his sister. those times when Fi is locked away in a pedestal before Link claims her is when he’d pay her visits, but the conversations are entirely one-sided. if Fi is annoyed by this he doesnt care because big brothers are just like that

these are generally the big hc's ive got for him! he doesnt occupy my mind as often as other characters so i dont have many of the little fun hcs, but that will probably change in time ^_^

AND for his relationship with Vaati.. i sincerely think he chose to be besties with him. Not only do i think he helped Vaati perfect his sword fighting techniques, i think he just completely enabled him to be as evil as possible just for funsies. Vaati loves him so much. he gets very excited to see Ghirahim because as far as he knows, he's the only other somewhat morally reprehensible person alive who also happens to be very sexy who likes to grant him more power and praise him (and after all, if vaati is fascinated by evil, he would be fascinated by him). but also i do think Ghirahim wanted be on good terms with him just so he'll let him in his fun sky palace

[foryouthegays]

Nothing bad ever happens at a festival. [Dream SMP] liveblog w/ timestamps

yes im still a techno apologist i love him too much [edit after he ‘betrayed’ tommy: yallre still tommy apologists after this???? lmao cringe /hj i think that theyre both right, but techno should be angry about it]

good technolaughs: 00:14:15, 00:50:50

other: (00:01:31 techno calls phil his friend,,,,,i love them) (00:16:55 tommy calls phil ‘dadza’ aww) (00:20:30 do do doo) (00:47:20 HEHH????) (00:56:15 SELLOUT TIMER POGGGG with dream! and then again at 01:06:55 and 01:25:20) (01:20:20 fundy is dead pog blood for the blood god)

posted the summary right before this :D

ik i say this every time but his startin’ the streammmm is so good i love it

a;ldkjfa 00:00:25 ‘whY IS A BOTTLE CONSIDERED A FRIENDLY CREATURE-’

also techno calling his audience ‘boys’ gives me so much gender serotonin ty mr blade ily

00:01:30 PHILZA MINECRAFT!!!!!

00:02:00 ‘im going to be headed to a festival today :D’ ‘oh you got an invite?’ ‘...im gonna be headed to a festival- [laughs]’ a;lkdsjfa love techno

phil is such a horrible person i love him. ‘dont kill too many people!’ 

phil n techno bullying tommys house,,,;alksdfjas

ALJDFAFDK 00:05:55 ‘the economic consequences of murder’ 

HI TOMMY

i love all the ‘inventor of minecraft, philza minecraft!’ jokes theyre so funny jhfdskla

ALS;DKJFA AT 00:07:30 TOMMY ASKS WHAT ENIGMA MEANS I LOVE HIM A;LDKFJA

i love tommy bc he just. he just says things. ex, 00:08:30, ‘it is likely, everything is likely when I am me, and I am always me, until the day I die. when I die, this world will be stupid.’ like how does he THINK of that???? what is his brain like???? i love him

‘technoblade, I only jump on poor people.’ 00:09:05

techno n phil have such similar vibes. like theyre both sarcastic n bounce off each other so easily,,,,,i want a full stream of them again, turtle time n a new home were AMAZIN

techno is literally tommys dad hes like, ‘do u have everything you need? do you have the potions?’ its hilarious

00:12:00 PHIL LOOK OUT ITS A BABY ZOMBIE <- another one of my favorite phil jokes

00:12:15 TOMMY AXE OF PEACE????

00:14:10 ‘wait a minute, its raining!!! see ya, looser!!!! HAAAA!!!!!!! OH NO ITS SNOWIN’ IM GONNA DIE- thats fine, its fine, AAAHHAHAH” sky/bed wars energy 

00:15:45 what do u MEAN u arent against dream. i mean it makes sense, bc tommy isnt ur brother in canon nd hes just a kid u found nd helped but SIR?????

00:16:55 DADZA ALDSKJFAF

AL;DKFJA 00:17:15 ‘i dont think we’re in l’manburg anymore, tommy’ 

technos such a nerd abt directions i love him

ALKDSFJAFA 00:19:45 ‘hey, hey, notice that cool guy who used to live in lmanburg, that always built massive cobblestone towers?’ ‘uhhh yeah, that idiot’ ghjkfdsl techno ur so mean to tommy

tecnos yellin voice is so pretty

A;LSDKFJAS OPERATION INFILTRATION THATS A GOOD NAME 00:23:00

00:25:35 ‘you guys have fortnite?’ techno,,,

00:27:50 [about dream] ‘i think we’re quite a long way past making an enemy, technoblade.’ tommy has some good lines sometimes

aldkaf ‘i dont even see stars,,,’ ‘thats depressin’ ‘..yeah’ i love techno n ranboos mini conversations 

DREAM JOINED THE SERVER OH GOD. 

00:30:40 :CRAB: DREAM IS HERE :CRAB:

gjfsdfk tommy is so bad at directions is great

i love technos ‘????’ in chat when he has to be quiet its so funny. like he could easily mute and say things but its for the Immersion jhfgsdk 

also yall look at how much technos stuttering in his typing he has to go back at like, every other letter to retype it 00:36:15

A;SDLFKJAS HE LITERALLY TYPES ‘WHY CAN I NOT TYPE’ GHKDFJ

00:37:15 50V2 50V2 50V2 also dream sounds so mad

00:40:40 “HE WOULDN’T LIE TO ME, DREAM, HE’D LIE TO YOU, BUT HE WOULDN’T LIE TO ME.” OH MY GOSH

00:41:10 “i mean, you’re out here, accusing him of crimes, and you’re saying just because he’s defendin’ himself, that makes him guilty?” HELL YEAH TECHNO also oh, yeah, whatever, laws, cringeee

HFGJKSD TECNO RANBOO FRIENDSHIP STRIKES AGAIN!!!!! LOVE THEM

ASLDKJFASL AND THE FACT THAT TECHNO CHOOSES RANBOO TO MESSAGE,,,,LOVE THEM

[presidential alert, the boys are FIGHTINGGGGGG] a;lsdfja 00:43:30

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE

HOLY SHIT TOMMY

00:45:05 ‘THE DISCS WERE WORTH MORE THAN YOU EVER WERE’  OH MY GOD

technos right, silent pvp is awkward as well

oh boy dream has alllll the discs

00:46:40 

“Techno...this isn’t me... this isn’t...I mean, I look around, and I’m not the person I want to be. I- I mean... I’m so sorry. Techno, if this is who I am, then I don’t want to be me anymore, man. I- I’m sorry. I’m with Tubbo.”

HOLY SHIT TOMMY JUST BETRAYED TECHNO RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM OH MY GOD PHILZA RLLY IS THE ONLY PERSON TECHNO CAN TRUST

oh holy FUCK technos change in tone from “TOMMY WHEN I SAID- Tommy, perhaps I wasn’t clear yesterday. When I said that I’m going to destroy L’Manburg, and that you don’t have to help me, when I said yOU DON’T HAVE TO HELP ME TOMMY, I MEANT THAT YOU COULD SIT IT OUT, NOT SWITCH SIDES, AND FIGHT AGAINST ME!”

also “youRE BETRAYING ME, IS WHAT YOU’RE DOING, TOMMY” god i love technos yelling voice,,,

hoLY SHIT TOMMY ‘im worse than everyone i didnt want to be...’ DUDE CHILL ITS TECHNOS THING TO HAVE GOOD LINES 00:47:55

the contrast between tommy saying the whole ‘‘it is likely, everything is likely when I am me, and I am always me, until the day I die. when I die, this world will be stupid” and “i know what ive done, and I hate me for it” is just,,,,that HAD to be planned, right???????? theres no way he thought of that on the spot 

“thank you, for giving me the disc, but I just want to say that you’re an idiot” gfkhjsld DREAM you homeless fool 00:48:30

AL;SKDFJAS TECHNO TALKIN TO US VIA CHAT IS SO FUNNY ‘THIS HOMELESS MAN IS SPITTING BARS’ I LOVE HIM SO MUCH GJFKDS 

“you just gave me the ONE THING I needed to destroy L’manburg.” 00:49:05 ohhhh thats why techno ‘betrayed’ tommy jkghsfd because someone directly lined up with his ideals??? because he was just betrayed, and hes hurt, and he saw someone standing up for his ideas and future actions? every single one of u anti c!techno people r fuckin idiots i stg /hj /nm /lh

i love techno yelling at tubbo its so funny to me. like sir u are bullying a small child aldkfjalja

00:50:30 YOU CAN HEAR TECHNOS SMILE WHEN HE SAYS ‘OH IM LIKING WHERE THIS IS GOING’ AHHH I LOVE HIM!!!!!!

LASDKJFALSFJ I LOVE HOW DREAMS LIKE NAH I AM N O T CALLIN IN THAT FAVOR FOR THIS, UR GONNA DESTROY LMANBURG NO MATTER W H A T

GOOD TECHNOLAUGH AHH  YES LISTEN TO THAT JOY!!!!! THAT WAS A SOLID FIVE SECONDS OF TECHNOLAUGH!!!!!

ALDSKFJASF TOMMY KILLS TUBBOS DOG 

00:52:30.

“Tommy. Give me back my axe. You’re not worthy, I was wrong.”

“...no. No! You know what, Technoblade? I am worthy. And you’re not- you’re not gonna side with Dream to take down L’Manburg, are you.”

“I- I’ve been so transparent about how I’m going to destroy the government, I’ve explained my reasons, like, I’m destroying it because of a, b, c, they executed me, they betrayed me, you betrayed me... you know what, Tommy? You’ve made a decision today that can’t be undone, and you know what? I respect you, Tommy. You’re free to make your own choices, wrong as they are, that’s what anarchy is about. It’s about freedom, to do what you want. But all I have to say, Tommy, is that I hope you don’t come to regret it. “ OH MY GOD

also he just LEAVES :LDFJSLDKFJSF AND GOES BACK HOME IGHALSDFJALKF

A;LDKJSFAS DREAM TECHNO SELLOUT POG

a;ldkfja 00:57:10 ‘i’ve always said, you know, if you’re a viewer, the only support I need is your viewership. UNLESS YOU’RE A MILLIONAIRE IN WHICH CASE, RUN THOSE SUPERCHATS LETS GO” i love techno 

also dream :handshake: phil

green

 ALSDKFJALSF HE ALREADY FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED HES SUCH A NERD 00:58:00

AND THAT ‘I HAVE CONFIDENCE’ AN HOUR IN,,,,IM SO GAY

01:01:20 have yall noticed how much techno says ‘i hate this so bad’? its p often. i think he says it in his recent vid w skeppy as well

ok at 01:02:20 techno says to dream ‘this seems like the beginning of a beautiful partnership’ 

and at 01:34:10 of ‘nothing goes wrong’ techno tells tommy ‘this seems like the beginning of a beautiful friendship’ and i just,,,,,the PARALLELS they had both just found out abt the wither room but with one techno was showing him the whole truth and was vulnerable, kinda asking for friendship but the other is unstable and based off of....i want to say fear? mutual gain? 

i love it

01:08:40 techno doesnt trust dream pog

nother speech pog 01:09:10

“you know what I’ve learned, Phil? It’s that common interests are what bind people together, more than trust or anything, because I trust Tommy, I brought him in, I gave him food, the armor on his back, I made him weapons when everyone else ditched him, and what does he do?? He just goes crawlin’ back to the guys that exiled him. I can’t trust people on friendship alone, alright? Just common interest is the only thing I can trust, and we [Techno and Dream] have a common interest, we are going to destroy L’Manburg tomorrow, Phil, it’s gonna be gone, it’s gonna be a chunk error.”

01:14:48 all men do is betray technoblade, eat hot chip, and lie ALSDFJALDSFKAJSF IM LAUGHING SO HARD also why does techno casually use words like ‘exodus’ i love him but why

Run.

THE CAT SEES US. ITS MCGONAGALL A;LKDFJALF 01:22:45

‘we should make a parody of YMCA. dddd m c a’ blitz 2??? cmon techno u know u want to 01:23:25

technos glasses break at 01:26:50 a;ldskfjaf

awww techno got phil like 300 primes bc of the sellout nd techno gained 11,000 subs a;ldkfjaf w o w

[potteryclaylover]

Life Lessons I Learnt From Seagulls

Seagulls are the most inspirational creatures in my opinion. If I owned a sporting team of any sort, a seagull would be my mascot. Why? They’re the perfect combination of beauty, strong-will, friendliness and confidence. Though i personally never watched any seagull bird from close , but i love to watch bird from distance because i dont want to disturb their  peace. But it always feel me with positive when i see group of birds eating , flying and all their activity. It is best therapy for me and its from very earlier .

Who of us has not wondered, at some point in life, if we really are living to our fullest potential? That we are really experiencing all that we are capable of experiencing?Every human being has been given the capacity to live abundantly, without boundaries. But the scope of this freedom is too large for most of us. We cringe from the vastness of all that is possible. We prefer to hide behind artificial limitations instead.

We hear of the frog in the pond that steadfastly refuses to believe that there were limitless oceans out there. For him, his pond is all that there is in the world. We also hear of the worm in the apple who believes that the whole world is its apple, nothing more.

Some of you may be familiar with the famous book Jonathon Livingston Seagull written by Richard Bach. A tale about a seagull who has dreams of being a better version of himself and flying higher and faster than any gull has ever dared before. Cast out by the flock for being different he goes off on his spiritual quest to discover his full potential. Does any of this resonate with you by any chance?

In real life many people hate seagulls. Maybe you do too. Are they the thugs of the bird world? Pests to be poisoned and driven out? Let’s be honest they have a terrible reputation because they are noisy and fearless they can appear aggressive and given the chance they will steal your food.

This little ode to seagulls may seem peculiar to you but as a result of long hours of observing them for days, I realized that inspiration can come from the simplest of things.

Have you ever heard of the expression ‘thinking out of the box?’ It means going beyond the accepted limits of imagination and daring to explore new possibilities. Jonathan Livingston Seagull was such an out-of-the-box thinker.

He discovered that for those who dare to dream, even the sky is not the limit. Jonathan lived as all seagulls do – in a flock. This flock was quite unremarkable. Seagulls are basically scavengers that inhabit the seashore, feeding off the debris that the sea throws out. Like all other seagulls, the members of this flock fed, bred and flew south in the cold winter months.

My love for these tiny birdies increased many folds when they actually taught me some valuable life lessons.

1. Don’t be afraid to stand against the wind

Look at this little fellow. He’s tiny and the wind that day was so strong even I was having trouble standing. He could just turn around and fly in the direction of the wind. But he stood his ground accepting the challenge.

Lesson: No matter how much friction you’re facing in being different or being yourself, don’t let it make you turn around in the direction of the wind.

2. Sometimes it’s good to go with the flow

If someone knows how to chill and take it easy, its the seagulls. They’ve taught me to not ALWAYS take life so seriously. That we can’t control each and every aspect of it. Sometimes you just have to let life unfold itself. See where the current takes you.

After all what’s the fun in knowing it all?

3. Evolve with your life situations

Seagulls are the masters of improvising and adapting to their circumstances. They can swim, fly or walk around depending on their need. We as humans have to realize that we are more equipped than a seagull. We have better means, internal and external, to adhere to our circumstances. We just need to be as strong-willed and easy going as a seagull.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a simple story with a profound message.

The message is that we can all be so much more than we believe, or are given to believe. That God – or fortune, if you wish – is on the side of the bold, the adventurous and the free in spirit.

Have you ever heard of the expression ‘thinking out of the box?’ It means going beyond the accepted limits of imagination and daring to explore new possibilities. Jonathan Livingston Seagull was such an out-of-the-box thinker.

He discovered that for those who dare to dream, even the sky is not the limit. Jonathan lived as all seagulls do – in a flock. This flock was quite unremarkable. Seagulls are basically scavengers that inhabit the seashore, feeding off the debris that the sea throws out. Like all other seagulls, the members of this flock fed, bred and flew south in the cold winter months.

But Jonathan sensed, in the core of his being, that there could be more to life. Much more.

4. Never be afraid to ask for your right

Anyone who has had a meal by the beach knows that the seagulls will come flocking around for their share. They are not afraid to ask for it. They’ll stand by staring at you persistently until you go, ‘oh well alright, have a chip.’

Deep in its communal heart, the flock knew that it was living below its full potential. It consoled itself with a vaguely remembered Promise, passed down various generations of seagulls. That Promise spoke of a Great Seagull – a supernaturally gifted bird that would come and deliver it from the chains of self-imposed mediocrity.

The Great Seagull was supposed to have secrets of limitless flight and a superior existence.

That discovering the Great Seagull’s secrets could have been the result of diligent effort and seeking did not occur to these seagulls. They preferred to put the responsibility of their future on a Being which they did not understand and did not try to emulate. The Great Seagull, however, did not come.

But maybe – just maybe – every seagull in that flock sometimes wondered if it was they were missing the point of this legend …

Jonathan had heard of the Great Seagull, of course. It meant nothing to him, but there was a question that did haunt him – the question that haunts us all when we have nothing to distract ourselves with. The question we ask ourselves when, for some reason or the other, we find ourselves sleepless at night.

Can I fly higher? Can I fly farther? Is there more?

The flock asked itself no such questions. The mundane preoccupations of life had them too much in thrall to consider deeper questions. But Jonathan knew that he could drink deeper of life than they did.

One day, he announced that he intended to fly higher and further than any seagull before him. The effect of his words on the flock was interesting, to say the least:

“Seagulls are not meant to fly higher than this,” is what they said. “What makes you think you’re different from us?”

That is the persistence and determination you and I need in your daily life. Ask for that promotion at work. Ask for the love and attention in a relationship. You deserve it.

5. It’s your character that makes you beautiful

Seagulls are not camera shy and are always ready to strike a pose. The poker face is their favourite. There are thousands of exquisite birds in the world but what made me fall in love with seagulls is their character. Sure they are nice to look at but it’s their confidence, strength and playful persona that makes them beautiful.

Jonathan’s answer was that he was not content with mediocrity, especially if he knew that he could attain greater heights. The rest of the flock became very angry with him – they called him a dreamer who did not know the realities of life. When he insisted on pursuing his vision, they cast him out of the flock.

Doesn’t this ring a bell in most of our minds? Doesn’t it remind us of times when we have been told – or even told ourselves – that we should realize our limits? Well, who sets those limits?

The human being has limited capabilities – but then, we only think of the capabilities we have actually demonstrated. We never think of the possibility of hidden capabilities that never see the light of day because they are not called upon.

Have you never heard of the true-life stories of people who overcame impossible odds – achieved impossible tasks – when they stopped relying solely on what they knew about themselves?

Jonathan Livingston Seagull, that anonymous bird in an anonymous flock, decided that he wanted to claim the Promise now. He wanted the power to fly higher than he had ever flown, to see sights he had never seen.

He decided that if the Great Seagull was real enough and powerful enough, it would help him achieve these goals in the Here and Now. Not in some vaguely conceived Hereafter, but in real time. In this present lifetime.

Did he turn to the Great Seagull in prayer? Or did he just draw inspiration from the fact that such a Seagull could and did exist? Richard Bach’s book remains silent on this issue. But from the moment Jonathan decided to claim the Promise, his life changed drastically.

Are you now waiting for the part where Jonathan was suddenly given miraculous spiritual and physical powers to make his dreams of impossible flight come true? Sorry, that is not what happened…

Instead, Jonathan’s belief in the Promise convinced him that the power to achieve his dream would be given to him if he put in diligent effort. He was a changed bird – he suddenly felt that he was no longer alone. And so he practiced flying higher. It was a painstaking process, but something had changed.

He no longer despaired when he considered his feeble seagull wings. He no longer doubted when he considered the fact that no seagull had ever flown as high as he wanted to fly.

This new-found assurance was not what is commonly known as ‘self-confidence’. It was confidence in something beyond him – a Higher Power, if you will. He called it the Great Seagull. Some call it God. But whatever we call it, it is a Power outside of ourselves. We cannot generate it, but we can still claim it.

And guess what? Jonathan Livingston Seagull soared. He eventually flew higher than any seagull ever had. And he finally met the Great Seagull.

Yes, he actually met the legendary Being. He basked in its approval and was given the power and privilege to lead others from the barren, empty path of self-effort to a mind-bogglingly rewarding partnership with Something Better.

I have a feeling that the human version of seagulls would have an amazing sense of humour as well.

Lesson learnt: Put your self out there. Have enough self-confidence to know and exhibit your good qualities and know that you’re beautiful just the way you are.

[schnees-and-schnugs]

kinda wanted to think about pre-beacon weiss and whitley since in canon its pretty up in the air so i wrote this little ficlet to take a little break from work n stuff :D enjoy! or dont, its okay

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Weiss felt tiny pinpricks of pain as the bandage above her eye was slowly peeled off, revealing a bloody cut underneath. She expected Whitley to gag or to at least wince at the sight- but nothing. His face remained empty, concealing any emotion that he might be feeling.

“You know when Klein does this it hurts a lot less...” Weiss cringed at her weak attempt at sparking a conversation.

“Too bad Klein isn’t here, then.” He didn’t even look at her, too busy wringing out a wet cloth. Weiss learned to tell when Whitley was in a bad mood. He doesn’t yell and break things like Father does- in fact it’s the opposite- he seems to resign into himself and quiet down. She was the only one who really notices, though.

He started to clean the wound above her eye, dabbing the wet cloth all the while avoiding eye contact. Weiss smiled hesitantly. “Hey! Be gentle, please.” 

Before Whitley would have glared at her and snidely commented that she’s quite sensitive for a huntsman in training, but now he just muttered a quiet “sorry” before shifting his position on her bed. Gods. She wanted to reassure him that she was just joking, and that he was always gentle, there was no need to change a thing.

But she knew he really wouldn’t care either way.

Weiss sighed and wondered how she got here. Just two days ago she passed her fathers test, allowing her to go to Beacon. She was ecstatic- twirling her way around the privacy of her room and singing little hymns under her breath. 

But of course, there was the issue of the literal wound on her face. But is it that bad compared to the amazing achievement that is going to Beacon? Absolutely not. It was worth it.

However, there is another issue, one that Weiss can’t just simply brush off. One that won’t simply just leave a scar- but in fact might never heal: Whitley.

Weiss would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that she’s been avoiding having this conversation with him. What was she going to say? Whitley, I’m going to go to Beacon for who knows how long, leaving you here with our totally healthy and non-toxic parental figures. Are you okay with that? I hope your okay with that. Of course he wouldn’t be okay with it. 

The topic hung in the air between them with every passing second. She wondered what would happen if she just left it like this and went along her way- let Whitley sort out his own emotions on his own. Would it really kill him to at least try to be happy for her? Smile and congratulate her? No, instead he had to give her the silent treatment.

“Whitley-”

“Weiss, just don’t.”  He lifted his arm to peel off the second bandage under her eye, but she grabbed his arm before he could.

“Are you mad at me?” Weiss winced at her own accusatory tone, but maintained eye contact. To her surprise, he narrowed his eyes but didn’t break it.

She continued. “If you’re angry at me, you need to tell me why. I’m not a mind reader- you know that right?” Of course she knew why he was angry at her, but she needed to hear it from him. 

Whitley wrestled his arm out of her grip and scowled. “I just don’t see any reason why you can’t just go to Atlas Academy. Why do you have to go to a whole other kingdom?”

“Well maybe I don’t want to go to Atlas Academy-”

“Why not? Winter studied there, and you practically want to be her!”

“Oh”, Weiss couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “So now you refer to Winter? I thought you disliked her?”

“I do”, Whitley paused to lower his voice. “She abandoned everything she had to become some soldier, and now you’re going to do that too.”

“I’m not abandoning everything, Whitley,” Weiss was already regretting starting this conversation and her patience was beginning to thin. “I’m still the heir and I don’t plan on giving that up anytime soon-”

“Good then. You’d be better prepared to lead the SDC staying here than spending your time with those barbarians in Vale. Honestly, Weiss it’s not that bad here.” His voice took on a desperate edge to it. Weiss knew she had to tread lightly or else she’ll say something she might regret.

“Not that bad? You and I both know that’s a lie. I hate it here, and you do too, Whitley”, Weiss tried to hold herself back, but it all came spilling out. “Did you see his face after I defeated the Geist Grimm? He would have rather I gotten injured and lost than for me to win. Father wants to keep me trapped here and I’m sick of it. I want something more than this.” Years of pent up frustration and sorrow burst out of in those last words. Yes, Weiss didn’t really know what she was missing, but she felt it there. A hollow hole in her heart that needed to be filled or else she’d go insane.

“More than this?” Whitley’s voice was barely above a whisper. “What more could you want? We have everything Weiss. Yes, Father is rash-” Weiss couldn’t help but the chuckle at the massive understatement- “but he can’t help who he is. All of what we have, he gave to us. If you could just be a little bit more grateful, perhaps Father wouldn’t be so curt with you-”

“Grateful? Grateful for this wound on my face? Grateful for an alcoholic for a mother?” Whitley winced but Weiss didn’t want to stop. She couldn’t stop. “Can’t you see how he’s hurting us? How can you make excuses for him?”

Whitley finally broke eye contact. He seemed to almost shrink into himself, pulling away from Weiss. “But it’s tolerable, Weiss. Just as long as it’s the two of us, right? Father will pass on someday and we’ll still have each other.” He softly reached out and grabbed her hands, holding them in his own. “Please tell me that you believe that too. Please stay here. For me”. 

Weiss desperately wanted to do exactly that. Tell him that everything is going to be okay, and that, yes, she will stay here with him. That she’ll do what a big sister ought to do and protect him. That she would never put her own needs before his. That she was content with just her and Whitley, against the world.

But no matter how many times she tried to convince herself of that, she couldn’t. “Whitley... what I have now, it’s just not enough.”

Now it was her turn to look away. She could feel his eyes burning a hole into the side of her face and his hands slowly let go of hers. She tried to hold onto him, but he snatched his fingers and placed them behind his back.

 Away from her reach.

“Not enough?” He snarled. “Like how we weren’t enough for Mother to keep herself from drowning in a bottle? Or like how Winter didn’t think we weren’t enough for her to stay, so she ran off to become one of the general’s lackeys.” 

“Whitley, it’s more complicated than that!”

“Its always ‘complicated’ when you’re the one who’s leaving!” He stood up, having completely forgotten about tending to Weiss’ injury. “You know Weiss, you were always enough for me. I only need you. I always thought that you were going to be the one to stay, it was never complicated to me.”

Weiss didn’t understand. She didn’t ask to be Whitley’s anchor, or to be the only person who remained. She just wanted to be happy. To be free. 

And she could’t take him where she was going to get that freedom.

“Whitley, please...”

“No, just don’t ”, he moved towards her bedroom door and Weiss knew that she wouldn’t see him for the rest of the day. Maybe for the next few days.

“Are you...” Whitley paused, listening. “Are you at least coming to see me off?”

Silence.

“Don’t count on it,” He was barely audible, but Weiss heard him loud and clear as he walked away.

And he was true to his word, Weiss recalled bitterly as she left Atlas a few days later. She hadn’t seen him all day after the fight, nor any day after that. Not even to see her off.

[whoknowsbud]

Speeddemon storyline

Again, not much was actually written... the format of this one reads way more like a discussion at times, because that was how a lot of this was developed and... I don’t really wanna fix any more of this stuff.

Again, DO NOT TAG AS GIO/MIS!!

Pompeii:

Giorno snatches the keys right out of Fugo’s hand and jumps in the driver seat, "hurry up get in let’s go!!" So Fugo & Abbacchio are like 'ok... at least he treats things with urgency'

The trip is horrific, and Giorno almost drives right through the park. The 「MITM」 fight happens as it did in canon, with maybe a little dry heaving stumbling around from Fugo & Abbacchio.

Abbacchio realizes he can’t drive on the way back, he’s lost too much blood and a whole hand, And Fugo...

Fugo tries, he really does. He tries so hard to get Giorno to let him drive. But... well. He’s scary. He’s a literal demon in the car.

Abbacchio: "HE ALMOST KILLED US!"

Bruno: “Giorno? That's ridiculous.”

Fugo’s almost crying because he never thought he could meet a more dangerous driver than him, and that was terrifying, but he doesn’t say anything because he’s still shaking from everything that happened in... 2 hours?

They almost crashed into a few cars on the way, almost drove right into the ruins, Giorno infected himself on purpose, he almost crashed into a few more cars on the way back, etc.

To Florence (the train):

Van scene? They all get thrown onto each other like sardines.

BIG TIME THERES NOT EVEN A SECOND TO REALIZE IF SOMEONES TOUCHING TRISH, EVERYONES ON THE GROUND IN SECONDS

ABBACCHIOS SCREAMING BECAUSE GODAMNIT HIS HAND

BRUNO HAS BIG CONCERNS BECAUSE WHERE THE HELL WAS THIS SIDE OF THE BOY!?

Narancia’s probably having fun

GIORNO ACTUALLY PASSES WHERE THEY HAD TO GO AND NOBODY REALIZES IT FOR LIKE A WHOLE 3 MILES, BUT SUDDENLY THE VAN WHIPS THE FUCK AROUND AND ALMOST TIPS OVER, ALMOST CRASHING INTO SEVERAL OTHER CARS AND ZOOMS BACK

AND THERES NO SUCH THING AS SLOWING DOWN TO GIORNO, THOSE WORDS DONT EXIST

HE ONLY EVER SLAMS ON THE BRAKES

Bruno believes Fugo and Abbacchio now.

After Florence:

"Do you feel that, Coco Jumbo," Giorno laughs. He's speaking to the turtle, seemingly forgotten that everyone's inside, "this speed, the rush! Nothing can catch you! Nobody can reach me!" And that’s... odd. That’s not the kind of thing they’d expect to hear.

Not from him; someone who didn’t seem to care who was in his way, (probably) willing to run over anyone.

And when someone (let’s say Mista) gets out of the turtle to say something, Giorno panics. He’s freaking out, because nobody was supposed to be able to catch up, he was safe as long as he was moving, moving, moving, moving, but someone was here somebody caught up and-

"Dude, hey, hey, relax! I was just going to say, we should stop for some food! There's no enemy here!"

And he realizes he summoned [Gold Experience], and its strength was crushing the wheel in his hands, and the gas pedal creaked dangerously under his heel from the pressure he was putting on it. He loosens his grip and lifts his foot, breaths heavy with the echoes of his fear, "r-right, its... safe..."

And Mista’s staring, he knows that’s not right. But Giorno wasn’t ready, clearly - and Mista didn’t want to lose an arm because he pried too soon. But he didn't forget it, and found himself watching Giorno a lot more. Watching for signs of whatever the hell set him off, trying to see if there was something they could do. This was the new guy, the youngest of them as well as probably the strongest & most confident, but he seemed like he was almost in worse shape than they were when they joined

Giorno doesn’t notice, but the others do. It’s in the way Mista sits in the passenger seat with almost no hesitation, and how he stares so closely at Giorno when he’s driving. Well, they don’t really notice that, but Mista brings it up.

"Do you notice that Giorno looks... free?" Nobody knows what the hell that’s supposed to mean, except Bruno, who agrees but doesn’t expand on it.

"Do you think Giorno...," he starts at some other time, but stops himself.

Abbacchio fills in, "is a lunatic? Yes."

"No - I mean, he’s a little crazy, but I mean- do you think he-," Mista hesitates, and finishes quietly, "he’s running from something?"

That strikes a nerve.

Because they’ve all been running from something. The past, the future, themselves, or others – they’ve all been running.

Venezia:

Thanks to Ghiaccio and that chase on Liberty Bridge, Mista figures out exactly what made Giorno panic so badly

Whereas Mista just startled him before in that truck, Giorno knew there was nobody around on that bridge.

When Ghiaccio shows up, Giorno knows it’s because he caught up

He was only caught when he stopped before, he was always safe when he moved. For the first time in his life, someone caught up when he was running;

Because he’s not fast enough, and if one person can catch up then there are hundreds of others, and he can never be safe again.

Mista figures this out because Giorno’s saying it out loud; "I’m not fast enough", "they’ll catch me", etc.

And he realizes Giorno is running from everything.

He was probably even trying to run from them, emotionally.

Now I’m not sure what kind of speech Mista could/would give, but I imagine there’d be something there about... Not how running away doesn’t solve anything, that’s not what he needs. Something like...

"It’s easier to run away when the thing chasing you can only walk."

Or of course, "if you get rid of what’s chasing you, you don’t need to run."

So Giorno realizes there’s one thing he’s always done when he’s running that he hasn’t done now

Stop.

So he slams on the brake and summons [Gold Experience] to stop the car from up front. Ghiaccio was not prepared for this, and he slams right into the car, skidding across the icy top and sliding ahead on the bridge, probably for a good mile.

And now it’s time to run again.

[Gold Experience] hits the car from behind to get it moving while Giorno hits the gas, and Ghiaccio is definitely hit.

Mista’s stomach is in absolute knots, he feels it in his throat, but he cheers anyways because hell yea, and that light of freedom is back and Giorno’s laughing, when seconds ago he was approaching a near total breakdown

Of course Ghiaccio’s not done, but they bought time, time to get ahead and thaw the car, time to get several miles closer to the goal and a plan

Which is when Giorno drives the car into the canal.

(Not before making a pigeon and sending it ahead to steal the disc, as well as just filling the car with leafy plants)

So they kind of just... huddle down and wait. No way Ghiaccio would see the bubbles & ripples and think it wasn’t them, and Giorno was sure he’d freeze the water to be sure they’d drown. With the plants they’d have oxygen for a few hours, and the pigeon (having been made from one of Trish's hairpins, stolen of course) would return to the turtle with the disk in no time (he hoped), so they just had to wait.

Of course, this wouldn’t be Golden Wind if something didn’t go wrong. So there’s a splinter in the glass the two are worried about, and they watch with growing fear as it steadily stretches across the windshield, water streaming in, until the break is too big for the glass to stand.

This is where they don’t have time to think of alternatives, and they have to swim out asap. There’s no telling where Ghiaccio’s waiting, or really where they even are, so they just have to hope for the best and get to the surface

And the surface is, of course, frozen over. So they have to estimate where they are by light - or rather, by shadows, because their best chance of going unseen is to break out under the bridge.

Which... Ghiaccio’s smart, he’s figured that out too. But he doesn’t know their stands, so he’s waiting right above, waiting to hear the telltale smash.

But they don’t actually break through; it’d take too much energy, be too loud, and the rest of the ice would be too unstable. Giorno, Mista, and [Gold Experience] are just kind of... pushing against it

Eventually it starts splintering and cracks open, and they can get their heads out at least to breathe - at the same time Ghiaccio’s starting to rant about secrets, or girls, or... something, they aren’t really paying attention

They’re both getting ridiculously numb, but the ice seems like it won’t hold their weight, so they can’t get out of the water too quickly - they actually have to push their way through, cringing and holding their breath at every sound.

Giorno sees the pigeon on the rather distant statue and knows the disc must be inside - disappointed that it isn’t handled, but glad the pigeon blended in well enough that the statue was never investigated. But the trash was, it seemed, and whatever image Mista thought of made him grin.

It was enough of a distraction from the cold that they were able to drag themselves onto the bank, but the next problem was an even bigger obstacle. How could they get to Ghiaccio and take him out, or get to the disc and grab it, before being seen...?

Giorno considers the ice itself. He couldn’t make anything that'd actually help in this cold - the water they’d just escaped was already freezing over - but a distraction... And nothing was better to get an enemy's attention than to make them think they were making a break for it.

So Giorno makes 2 winter bass - big enough to make a lot of noise, but not so big that they’d be immediately caught - and drops them in the most fragile area of reforming ice, sending them on their way. Their backs bump the solid ice a few times as they go around, and Ghiaccio makes a noise like a squawk and jumps up, following what he believes are the two targets

They both get up. Giorno signals for Mista to stay down, but Mista grabs his arm, "hey, relax a little, let me. I need a success somewhere; you're hogging all the glory." He smiled, to show he’s kidding but intends to do this, and though he doesn’t get it, Giorno smiles back slightly.

Mista’s weird boots don’t have the slight heels Giorno's shoes do, so it really was for the best as he trudges his way to the statue. After a second, he grabs his gun and starts trying to chip the stone away, grabbing the pieces as they fall, and watching where Ghiaccio ran off.

Eventually, when he sees the corner of the case, he fumbles, nearly cursing aloud when the pieces of stone hit the ground with echoing clacks

He ends up panicking, yanking the disk out, and scrambled back to the bridge

And then they both realize they have no idea what to do next

Giorno gives the disk to Trish's hairclip pigeon and sends it off, but they still have a big threat to handle. Neither of them can tell how much of their shaking is from the cold, and how much is the anxiety

Giorno ends up grabbing Mista’s hand, hoping it would ground him, and Mista realizes just how scared Giorno actually is. How scared he probably always is, when they're not moving at insane speeds.

And he can't let that fear be any more justified.

"We'll get out of this," he whispers, "we'll get this guy, get back to our friends, and we'll be moving again, little buddy."

[itsclydebitches]

(if u dont wanna start up any shipping discourse feel free to just ignore this ask aha) can i just say ,, i am SO happy to see you bring up how weird rose garden is, and for pointing out that part of it is bc of their age difference. so many people who dont ship it only point to the ozpin thing and take no issue with their ages but like. oscar is 14. he's, imo, meant to be seen as like a middle schooler. its just Weird.

No worries, friend! I worry about tone too when I type (hence the “childish” tendency to use smiley faces, “lol,” etc.) but you’re totally good. 

But yeah, canonical rosegarden just isn’t something I can ever get behind. I might use “kids” at times to describe the group when I compare them to their much older and more experienced allies, but Oscar is a literal child. Do kids explore their romantic and sexual identities at a young age? Absolutely. Grade schoolers come home talking about their “boyfriends” and middle schoolers get all worked up over who’s holding hands or—gasp!—who gave someone a peck on a dare. Or, at times, far more than that. I’m no prude and I’m by no means naive. However, acknowledging that individual exploration happens isn’t the same thing as actively enforcing it, which fandom usually does. When fans talk about Oscar in the context of shipping it’s very rarely in a low-key, healthy, let kids be kids while also dipping their toes into adult topics if they want to way. It’s talking about how “hot” he is in his new outfit, or how well he’d “take care” of Ruby (with clear innuendo). I take issue with his age for the same reasons I cringe over celebrity culture that pressures 15yos like Millie Bobby Brown to dress like a 25yo and wants to know in interviews if she has her eye on any boys. Do middle schoolers and young high schoolers experiment? Of course, but that doesn’t mean we need to frame that as necessary, sexualizing minors in the process. Shipping is a part of that. 

And ah, very fair question. In terms of the age difference, that (to my mind anyway) changes dramatically depending on the ages of the parties. Oscar and Ruby I believe are only about three years apart. For adults that difference is negligible. A 33yo dating 36yo? I can’t think of anyone I know who would take issue with that. However, that age difference means something else entirely when you’re dealing with minors and those with wildly different life experiences: 

The sophomore in high school is going to look at the middle schooler and go, “They’re still just a kid. Being in high school is way different from being in middle school.” 

The freshman in college is going to look at the sophomore in high school and go, “Date a high schooler? What? No way. I’m practically an adult and they’re barely out of middle school.” 

The second year graduate is going to look at a college junior and think, “Why would I date them? I’m an adult out in the work force and they haven’t even graduated yet. It only became legal for them to drink a few months ago!” 

Now obviously there are exceptions. I’m sure plenty of people could flood my inbox (please don’t lol) with examples of that high school/college pair that was the most romantic thing ever, etc. The point though is that when you’re that young your life changes very, very fast. 2-3 years means a lot. It’s the difference between hitting puberty or not. Being able to drive or not. Getting to drink or not. Being a legal adult or not. Being in the workforce or not. Experience and development changes radically from year to year. It’s only when you start hitting your 20s that experience has the chance to plateau and many of those power dynamics fall by the wayside. 3 years between a 14 and a 17yo just means something fundamentally different than, say, 3 years between a 40 and a 43yo. Even the numbers resonate. 14 reads as “child.” 17 reads as “not quite an adult.” 

So yeah. Personally, I’m (passingly) interested in two kinds of non-canonical rosegarden: the sort where they’re kids, they’re cute together, and it’s non-creepily implied that something might happen when they’re adults, or they’re aged up enough that things like being minors and age difference are no longer a concern. For me, I’m more comfortable shipping it then because the context has changed. The fic has created a situation wherein that ethical concern no longer is an ethical concern. 29yo Oscar and 32yo Ruby are two consenting young adults who now have the emotional maturity and freedom to decide who they want to be with. 

[foreverbettie]

Because: Meth.

For four years he had been my drug of choice. For two months I hadn’t seen him. I hadn’t heard his voice.

Oh, how I ached for him. Being away from him was no further from wrapping a noose around my own heart but I knew I had to run then. If I hadn’t, he was sure to drop the board from under my feet. My heart was dying everyday, begging him to show me a twinkle of love. Everyday, he denied me. Everyday, I came closer to taking my own life. I had plans in everyway you could think of. I swore to myself I would find a way for my kids to be taken care of. I was sure of it, as long as I didnt have to bear the heartache anymore. My son would live with his father and my daughter would stay with him. He didnt love me. He didnt need me. He didnt want me. I was merely there to care for the children while he fed his addiction. Without me, it was just the two of them and that sounded so much more like the life what he wanted.

I hated the thought of him there. With no one on the outside to talk to. No visitors. No money on his books. No money on his phone. He sat there with bare minimum. The longer he was there, the more my brain twitched and told me to save him. You did this to him, it would say. You left. You put him there. You took away the only things in his life that could truly save him. NO! I would counter back. He did this. He hurt me. He hurt us.  He hurt ALL of us and never did anything to help himself. He did this. I kept pushing that other voice down further into my stomach to dissolve anything that spewed a hint of of second guessing.

He wasn’t free, which in itself is a sad idea. From a birds eye view, to be locked in a cage without means to escape is nearly animalistic. Put into a much closer perspective however, he was more free than he could have ever been on the outside. The devil wasn’t able to walk so closely beside him. There was nearly no whispering left nor taunting of evil in his face. Freedom (as pretty as it sounds) in the hands of a broken spirit, turns privilege into power of self destruction.

Each day that passed I twisted inside knowing that he was the only man I had ever fallen in love with with every single part of my heart. All others failed to come close to anything that gave my heart exactly what it wanted. I thought I loved them but I always questioned. There was always a part of me that was unsure. Not with him. There wasnt a single cell inside of me that ever once denied it. So each day I was frantically sending messages from my head hoping they would travel through some magic beam passed the jail walls like: How long do you think I can keep this up? Why did you make me put this mask on? Why do I have to pretend I’m someone Im not? Why do I have to hide that Im missing you? Please, know that I love you. Please, know that I want you to come home. I hope youre sitting there thinking about me. I hope you’re missing everything you had that you never worked for. You were supposed to be my Knight. She misses you daddy. She doesnt want daddy to be sick anymore. She says ‘Daddy get better. Dont be sick anymore. Come home daddy.’ Choose us this time. Please please please…choose us. And each day I had to frantically remind myself… Because: Meth.

Little boxes of pseudoephedrine, Coleman, instant cold packs, lithium batteries, 2 liter bottles, paper towels, tubing, etc. Yeah I know how to make meth. Never tried it but I know how its done. In the beginning, I was naive. I never knew just how awful it was. I was the dealer’s girl and people assumed that I used too. It just makes sense that way but I was always clean. He jumped at anyone who would offer it to me and did anything possible to encourage me to never do it.

After the years went by though, I was so sick of it. In my head I was screaming vulgarities at the top of my lungs, digging my fingers into people’s shoulders and rattling their heads to the point of concussion. What are you doing? Stop! Please stop! Even if I had, no one would’ve looked up. Not even a blink. Theyd just pass the pipe and light the torch like the words I shouted were nonexistent. I was the television at volume 87 and the remote was stuck on mute. I had seen, touched and smelled more dope in my life then I could bear to stand. I had seen more people tweaking and doing the most selfish, hurtful, obnoxious and annoying things than I ever wanted to see. I didnt want to see ot anymore. Not even for one more day.

In there he was safe and his mind was free. Those were the two things that convinced my heart that he was at least okay. My head though, was still playing tug of war with itself. Until the time finally came when I said, I cant go on like this. I could never love another man.  I need her to see her daddy. I need to see my knight.

That Thursday came in like a flash. You would have thought I was going out on a first date. I wanted to look gorgeous for him. Give him a little reminder of what he’d been missing out on longer than just the couple months hed been away. A reminder of who hed turned away for years. I had to be careful though. Yes, I would look pretty but I had to be careful not to let him sway me into his trap. He could be so manipulative- a good side effect from using.

I stood in the elevator shaking, stomach in knots, trying not to puke all over my dolled up self. I stood there not wanting to love him, thinking about how every time that I had chosen him, he chose the devil. I didnt want it to feel so easy for him, to think I would simply just come back to him. I wanted to stick to my guns, to let him know that I stood firm in my choice to walk away. I told myself lies that I was only visiting him for my daughter’s sake. Maybe if I told it to myself, maybe he would believe it too.

If we could have sat there without speaking, my craving for him still would have been satisfied. I just wanted to look at him, to just stare at him and take in his presence that make me complete. But of course, he spoke.

He smiled at me the most joyful smile that I had ever seen cross his face. As if all the beautiful things inside himself that were lost in his addiction (aside from his plump cheeks) were returned. I cringed inside afraid I was going to break my character. Still, I forced myself to only half smile and try to look as if I felt indifferent to see him. That thick ugly glass between us, thank goodness for it. I would have kissed him and clobbered him right in the jaw at the same time.

There were new lights and doors and levels I was trying to build. New rooms with locks and codes. All of which in one visit, realized they were built with an unsteady frame. I could feel the laborers in my chest hoisting the wrecking ball up with the crane. They were prepared for demolition. Behind them were protesters. They chanted and held signs that read- Because: Lies! Because: Deceit! Because: Meth! The crowd was large and had some unpeaceful participants but the working machines were much louder.

When I reached the door to step outside, I felt the swing of the crane bring rubble to the site. The walls were going to come down and there wasnt a protester in sight that could stop it.

Because: Sobriety.

#meth #addiction #sobriety

[adambstingus]

If you haven’t tuned in to the RNC yet, here are 13 reasons why you should.

If you haven’t tuned in to the Republican National Convention yet, youre not alone.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Maybe youre a Republican who gnashes their teeth every time Donald Trump opens his mouth. Maybe youre a Democrat whos already heard “Jail Shillary Clinton” enough for one decade. Or maybe youre just a person who gets bored by boring speeches.

And yet, you still want to do your civic duty. You want to be able to participate in the watercooler conversation. Or, perhaps, youre a nervous internet writer who dabbles in politics and you want to continue to justify your salary to the publication that employs you.

Fear not! Even if the speeches ramble, the music is suspect, and the balloon drop is anticlimactic, there are many ways to make watching the RNC a fun experience for the whole family:

1. Focus on the fun hats.

When you watch a baseball game, you see baseball caps. When you watch a rodeo, you see cowboy hats. When you watch bearded 27-year-old programmers in “Buffy” T-shirts hitting on college students, you see fedoras.

The hats at the RNC are in another league. A noble league … like The League of Nations.

A league that peaked in 1918.

Cowboy hats?

Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.

Check.

Coonskin caps?

Check!

Hats directly from the costume chest for the West Oakport Community Players production of “The Music Man”?

Check and mate.

If youre a fan of delightfully anachronistic haberdashery, the Republican National Convention is the small-screen event of the mid-2010s.

2. Watch campaign operatives desperately try to spin obvious screwups into success stories.

Melania Trump’s apparent cribbing of a passage from a 2008 Michelle Obama speech on the first night of the RNC has already sent Trump’s surrogates into a flurry of questionably credible but extremely entertaining denials.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Some simply pretended it didn’t happen. Some tried to explain it away as a case of the two women simply having the exact same thoughts on the exact same subject. Others suggested that hey! only 7% of the speech was plagiarized, which really isn’t that much. (College students on deadline, take note!)

There’s no feeling quite so warm and cozy as sitting back on your couch, knowing there’s a problem out there in the world … and it’s someone else’s job to deal with it.

3. Cheer on the dancing delegates.

The RNC remains Americas #1 source of elderly people whove still got it, show it, and want you to know it.

Curious what style of arrhythmic jerking was popular in 1962? Looking forward to seeing some semi-coordinated American flag-ography? Want to watch a county commissioner from Ladysmith, Wisconsin, gingerly hip-bumping the state comptroller of Tennessee?

You only get one chance every four years. Seize it!

4. Gawk at the ridiculously over-the-top entrances.

For Donald Trump, last night’s raucous, backlit entrance to “We Are the Champions” was actually pretty restrained.

Scott Baio (Chachi!) was there Monday night.

Ehhhhhhhhhh. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

So was Antonio Sabato Jr., who totally was in something once.

Oh and hey, remember soap star Kimberlin Brown? No? Well, shes speaking too.

Like Pogs, jelly shoes, and friendship bracelets, you might not have missed them and you might not have even loved them all that much even at the height of their popularity, but they’re back, and sure, why not!

6. Cringe at the massive pandering fails.

In a Monday session with delegates from Pennsylvania, Paul Ryan took a few seconds to wave a Terrible Towel an emblem of the Pittsburgh Steelers in the air…

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

…which irked some in the city of Cleveland, where the RNC is happening. They were none too pleased to see the Republican leader brandish the banner of their bitter football rival.

In other news, Cleveland and Pittsburgh are apparently different cities. You learn new things when you watch the RNC!

7. Shovel popcorn into your mouth as Trump and his team pick random, hugely entertaining fights with GOP lawmakers.

Fittingly, for a candidate whose highest profile accomplishment is hosting a reality show, Donald Trump is really, really, good at draaaaaaaaaama.

Even before the speeches started, top Trump aide Paul Manafort attacked Ohio Gov. John Kasich America’s Republican uncle as “petulant” for refusing to attend the convention.

Photo by J.D. Pooley/Getty Images.

“Manaforts problem, after all those years on the lam with thugs and autocrats, is that he cant recognize principle and integrity,” Kasich strategist John Weaver fired back in an e-mail to The New York Times, calling out Manafort’s public relations work for the former president of Ukraine.

Rawr! Go get ’em, boys!

8. Daydream about what LeBron James is doing elsewhere in Cleveland while all this is going on.

Photo by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images.

One of the great things about Cleveland hosting the convention is that, if youre not feeling the program, you can just close your eyes and imagine what King James is up to just a few blocks away at any given moment. Maybe he’s grabbing a beer at the Radisson lobby bar across the street or wandering around the perimeter of Quicken Loans Arena trying to catch a Pikachu!

Train your brain to conjure ‘Bron, and you’re sure to realize a truth that hardened political insiders have long known: The mental image of LeBron James doing anything beats watching the 19th lieutenant governor shuffle haltingly around the stage to Kid Rocks “Born Free.”

9. Enjoy the spectacle of news organizations testing out new technology with mixed results.

The Washington Post has a robot!

LOOK OUT: The yet-to-be-named @washingtonpost robot is roaming the halls of the #gopconvention. (Cc @rkellett) pic.twitter.com/KCFFdootWo Ed O

Come for the debut of an amazing, cutting-edge mass communication tool. Stay for the schadenfreude of when it inevitably, hilariously tips slowly forward and plants on its face.

10. Applaud the fact-checkers doing A+ work.

It’s pretty hard to wallow in self pity about having to sit through three prime-time hours of the Trump Family Variety Spectacular when the heroes at FactCheck.org are spending their week watching every minute of both conventions evaluating every ridiculously hyperbolic claim made by every marginal elected official on that stage, presumably with their eyelids taped open.

David Clarke says Americans don

Every single American owes these people a drink. At the very least, we need to all go in for a gift basket.

11. Savor the meme-worthy speech faces.

Like this one:

A delegate stands on stage. The lights are hot. He’s got his suit, tie, and firmest scowl on. He’s projecting a stern air of authority. He’s feeling good.

And then, this happens:

THE RNC GAVEL IS ALREADY FALLING APART pic.twitter.com/6sL4Mp3z8V Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) July 18, 2016

One prop master’s catastrophe is one potato-chip-eating, couch-slouching American’s perfect television.

12. Rock out to the endless playlist of music you love to hate to love to wonder what even is it?

Between the speeches, the logistical announcements, and the arcane points of order, the playlist on the first day of the 2016 RNC featured a weird collection of B sides “Limelight” by Rush, The Who’s “Eminence Front,” “Stay With Me” by Rod Stewart that undoubtedly delighted your Uncle Craig:

But it pretty much left everyone else scratching their heads. And you know what, scratching your head is immensely soothing and gratifying, so thanks, music team!

13. Appreciate that you are watching democracy happen in real time weirdly exactly the way its supposed to.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

You may not be thrilled about the election. You may think the ads are tacky. You may wish the participants were different (dear God, you may wish the participants were different).

You can hate everything about the American political process and still be grateful this is how our political transitions go down rather than when the guy in charge dies and his 9-year-old son takes over, or when a bunch of tanks plow over the White House while the president is in Bermuda, or when every federal employee is replaced by an alien impostor except for a single, mild-mannered Nebraska congressman who, luckily, is played by Kurt Russell.

New political administrations in America happen after a bunch of nerdy bureaucrats make a bunch of boring speeches about freedom, justice, and patriotism in support of candidates we dont like very much but who we will dutifully go out and choose between in November.

Its unglamorous. Its stressful. Its frustrating and exhausting. But Im going to tune in. Because it really is the worst.

Except for all the other options.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/11/if-you-havent-tuned-in-to-the-rnc-yet-here-are-13-reasons-why-you-should/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/162878455032

[jimdsmith34]

If you haven’t tuned in to the RNC yet, here are 13 reasons why you should.

If you haven’t tuned in to the Republican National Convention yet, youre not alone.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Maybe youre a Republican who gnashes their teeth every time Donald Trump opens his mouth. Maybe youre a Democrat whos already heard “Jail Shillary Clinton” enough for one decade. Or maybe youre just a person who gets bored by boring speeches.

And yet, you still want to do your civic duty. You want to be able to participate in the watercooler conversation. Or, perhaps, youre a nervous internet writer who dabbles in politics and you want to continue to justify your salary to the publication that employs you.

Fear not! Even if the speeches ramble, the music is suspect, and the balloon drop is anticlimactic, there are many ways to make watching the RNC a fun experience for the whole family:

1. Focus on the fun hats.

When you watch a baseball game, you see baseball caps. When you watch a rodeo, you see cowboy hats. When you watch bearded 27-year-old programmers in “Buffy” T-shirts hitting on college students, you see fedoras.

The hats at the RNC are in another league. A noble league … like The League of Nations.

A league that peaked in 1918.

Cowboy hats?

Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.

Check.

Coonskin caps?

Check!

Hats directly from the costume chest for the West Oakport Community Players production of “The Music Man”?

Check and mate.

If youre a fan of delightfully anachronistic haberdashery, the Republican National Convention is the small-screen event of the mid-2010s.

2. Watch campaign operatives desperately try to spin obvious screwups into success stories.

Melania Trump’s apparent cribbing of a passage from a 2008 Michelle Obama speech on the first night of the RNC has already sent Trump’s surrogates into a flurry of questionably credible but extremely entertaining denials.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Some simply pretended it didn’t happen. Some tried to explain it away as a case of the two women simply having the exact same thoughts on the exact same subject. Others suggested that hey! only 7% of the speech was plagiarized, which really isn’t that much. (College students on deadline, take note!)

There’s no feeling quite so warm and cozy as sitting back on your couch, knowing there’s a problem out there in the world … and it’s someone else’s job to deal with it.

3. Cheer on the dancing delegates.

The RNC remains Americas #1 source of elderly people whove still got it, show it, and want you to know it.

Curious what style of arrhythmic jerking was popular in 1962? Looking forward to seeing some semi-coordinated American flag-ography? Want to watch a county commissioner from Ladysmith, Wisconsin, gingerly hip-bumping the state comptroller of Tennessee?

You only get one chance every four years. Seize it!

4. Gawk at the ridiculously over-the-top entrances.

For Donald Trump, last night’s raucous, backlit entrance to “We Are the Champions” was actually pretty restrained.

Scott Baio (Chachi!) was there Monday night.

Ehhhhhhhhhh. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

So was Antonio Sabato Jr., who totally was in something once.

Oh and hey, remember soap star Kimberlin Brown? No? Well, shes speaking too.

Like Pogs, jelly shoes, and friendship bracelets, you might not have missed them and you might not have even loved them all that much even at the height of their popularity, but they’re back, and sure, why not!

6. Cringe at the massive pandering fails.

In a Monday session with delegates from Pennsylvania, Paul Ryan took a few seconds to wave a Terrible Towel an emblem of the Pittsburgh Steelers in the air…

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

…which irked some in the city of Cleveland, where the RNC is happening. They were none too pleased to see the Republican leader brandish the banner of their bitter football rival.

In other news, Cleveland and Pittsburgh are apparently different cities. You learn new things when you watch the RNC!

7. Shovel popcorn into your mouth as Trump and his team pick random, hugely entertaining fights with GOP lawmakers.

Fittingly, for a candidate whose highest profile accomplishment is hosting a reality show, Donald Trump is really, really, good at draaaaaaaaaama.

Even before the speeches started, top Trump aide Paul Manafort attacked Ohio Gov. John Kasich America’s Republican uncle as “petulant” for refusing to attend the convention.

Photo by J.D. Pooley/Getty Images.

“Manaforts problem, after all those years on the lam with thugs and autocrats, is that he cant recognize principle and integrity,” Kasich strategist John Weaver fired back in an e-mail to The New York Times, calling out Manafort’s public relations work for the former president of Ukraine.

Rawr! Go get ’em, boys!

8. Daydream about what LeBron James is doing elsewhere in Cleveland while all this is going on.

Photo by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images.

One of the great things about Cleveland hosting the convention is that, if youre not feeling the program, you can just close your eyes and imagine what King James is up to just a few blocks away at any given moment. Maybe he’s grabbing a beer at the Radisson lobby bar across the street or wandering around the perimeter of Quicken Loans Arena trying to catch a Pikachu!

Train your brain to conjure ‘Bron, and you’re sure to realize a truth that hardened political insiders have long known: The mental image of LeBron James doing anything beats watching the 19th lieutenant governor shuffle haltingly around the stage to Kid Rocks “Born Free.”

9. Enjoy the spectacle of news organizations testing out new technology with mixed results.

The Washington Post has a robot!

LOOK OUT: The yet-to-be-named @washingtonpost robot is roaming the halls of the #gopconvention. (Cc @rkellett) pic.twitter.com/KCFFdootWo Ed O

Come for the debut of an amazing, cutting-edge mass communication tool. Stay for the schadenfreude of when it inevitably, hilariously tips slowly forward and plants on its face.

10. Applaud the fact-checkers doing A+ work.

It’s pretty hard to wallow in self pity about having to sit through three prime-time hours of the Trump Family Variety Spectacular when the heroes at FactCheck.org are spending their week watching every minute of both conventions evaluating every ridiculously hyperbolic claim made by every marginal elected official on that stage, presumably with their eyelids taped open.

David Clarke says Americans don

Every single American owes these people a drink. At the very least, we need to all go in for a gift basket.

11. Savor the meme-worthy speech faces.

Like this one:

A delegate stands on stage. The lights are hot. He’s got his suit, tie, and firmest scowl on. He’s projecting a stern air of authority. He’s feeling good.

And then, this happens:

THE RNC GAVEL IS ALREADY FALLING APART pic.twitter.com/6sL4Mp3z8V Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) July 18, 2016

One prop master’s catastrophe is one potato-chip-eating, couch-slouching American’s perfect television.

12. Rock out to the endless playlist of music you love to hate to love to wonder what even is it?

Between the speeches, the logistical announcements, and the arcane points of order, the playlist on the first day of the 2016 RNC featured a weird collection of B sides “Limelight” by Rush, The Who’s “Eminence Front,” “Stay With Me” by Rod Stewart that undoubtedly delighted your Uncle Craig:

But it pretty much left everyone else scratching their heads. And you know what, scratching your head is immensely soothing and gratifying, so thanks, music team!

13. Appreciate that you are watching democracy happen in real time weirdly exactly the way its supposed to.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

You may not be thrilled about the election. You may think the ads are tacky. You may wish the participants were different (dear God, you may wish the participants were different).

You can hate everything about the American political process and still be grateful this is how our political transitions go down rather than when the guy in charge dies and his 9-year-old son takes over, or when a bunch of tanks plow over the White House while the president is in Bermuda, or when every federal employee is replaced by an alien impostor except for a single, mild-mannered Nebraska congressman who, luckily, is played by Kurt Russell.

New political administrations in America happen after a bunch of nerdy bureaucrats make a bunch of boring speeches about freedom, justice, and patriotism in support of candidates we dont like very much but who we will dutifully go out and choose between in November.

Its unglamorous. Its stressful. Its frustrating and exhausting. But Im going to tune in. Because it really is the worst.

Except for all the other options.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/11/if-you-havent-tuned-in-to-the-rnc-yet-here-are-13-reasons-why-you-should/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/07/if-you-havent-tuned-in-to-rnc-yet-here.html

[samanthasroberts]

If you haven’t tuned in to the RNC yet, here are 13 reasons why you should.

If you haven’t tuned in to the Republican National Convention yet, youre not alone.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Maybe youre a Republican who gnashes their teeth every time Donald Trump opens his mouth. Maybe youre a Democrat whos already heard “Jail Shillary Clinton” enough for one decade. Or maybe youre just a person who gets bored by boring speeches.

And yet, you still want to do your civic duty. You want to be able to participate in the watercooler conversation. Or, perhaps, youre a nervous internet writer who dabbles in politics and you want to continue to justify your salary to the publication that employs you.

Fear not! Even if the speeches ramble, the music is suspect, and the balloon drop is anticlimactic, there are many ways to make watching the RNC a fun experience for the whole family:

1. Focus on the fun hats.

When you watch a baseball game, you see baseball caps. When you watch a rodeo, you see cowboy hats. When you watch bearded 27-year-old programmers in “Buffy” T-shirts hitting on college students, you see fedoras.

The hats at the RNC are in another league. A noble league … like The League of Nations.

A league that peaked in 1918.

Cowboy hats?

Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.

Check.

Coonskin caps?

Check!

Hats directly from the costume chest for the West Oakport Community Players production of “The Music Man”?

Check and mate.

If youre a fan of delightfully anachronistic haberdashery, the Republican National Convention is the small-screen event of the mid-2010s.

2. Watch campaign operatives desperately try to spin obvious screwups into success stories.

Melania Trump’s apparent cribbing of a passage from a 2008 Michelle Obama speech on the first night of the RNC has already sent Trump’s surrogates into a flurry of questionably credible but extremely entertaining denials.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Some simply pretended it didn’t happen. Some tried to explain it away as a case of the two women simply having the exact same thoughts on the exact same subject. Others suggested that hey! only 7% of the speech was plagiarized, which really isn’t that much. (College students on deadline, take note!)

There’s no feeling quite so warm and cozy as sitting back on your couch, knowing there’s a problem out there in the world … and it’s someone else’s job to deal with it.

3. Cheer on the dancing delegates.

The RNC remains Americas #1 source of elderly people whove still got it, show it, and want you to know it.

Curious what style of arrhythmic jerking was popular in 1962? Looking forward to seeing some semi-coordinated American flag-ography? Want to watch a county commissioner from Ladysmith, Wisconsin, gingerly hip-bumping the state comptroller of Tennessee?

You only get one chance every four years. Seize it!

4. Gawk at the ridiculously over-the-top entrances.

For Donald Trump, last night’s raucous, backlit entrance to “We Are the Champions” was actually pretty restrained.

Scott Baio (Chachi!) was there Monday night.

Ehhhhhhhhhh. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

So was Antonio Sabato Jr., who totally was in something once.

Oh and hey, remember soap star Kimberlin Brown? No? Well, shes speaking too.

Like Pogs, jelly shoes, and friendship bracelets, you might not have missed them and you might not have even loved them all that much even at the height of their popularity, but they’re back, and sure, why not!

6. Cringe at the massive pandering fails.

In a Monday session with delegates from Pennsylvania, Paul Ryan took a few seconds to wave a Terrible Towel an emblem of the Pittsburgh Steelers in the air…

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

…which irked some in the city of Cleveland, where the RNC is happening. They were none too pleased to see the Republican leader brandish the banner of their bitter football rival.

In other news, Cleveland and Pittsburgh are apparently different cities. You learn new things when you watch the RNC!

7. Shovel popcorn into your mouth as Trump and his team pick random, hugely entertaining fights with GOP lawmakers.

Fittingly, for a candidate whose highest profile accomplishment is hosting a reality show, Donald Trump is really, really, good at draaaaaaaaaama.

Even before the speeches started, top Trump aide Paul Manafort attacked Ohio Gov. John Kasich America’s Republican uncle as “petulant” for refusing to attend the convention.

Photo by J.D. Pooley/Getty Images.

“Manaforts problem, after all those years on the lam with thugs and autocrats, is that he cant recognize principle and integrity,” Kasich strategist John Weaver fired back in an e-mail to The New York Times, calling out Manafort’s public relations work for the former president of Ukraine.

Rawr! Go get ’em, boys!

8. Daydream about what LeBron James is doing elsewhere in Cleveland while all this is going on.

Photo by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images.

One of the great things about Cleveland hosting the convention is that, if youre not feeling the program, you can just close your eyes and imagine what King James is up to just a few blocks away at any given moment. Maybe he’s grabbing a beer at the Radisson lobby bar across the street or wandering around the perimeter of Quicken Loans Arena trying to catch a Pikachu!

Train your brain to conjure ‘Bron, and you’re sure to realize a truth that hardened political insiders have long known: The mental image of LeBron James doing anything beats watching the 19th lieutenant governor shuffle haltingly around the stage to Kid Rocks “Born Free.”

9. Enjoy the spectacle of news organizations testing out new technology with mixed results.

The Washington Post has a robot!

LOOK OUT: The yet-to-be-named @washingtonpost robot is roaming the halls of the #gopconvention. (Cc @rkellett) pic.twitter.com/KCFFdootWo Ed O

Come for the debut of an amazing, cutting-edge mass communication tool. Stay for the schadenfreude of when it inevitably, hilariously tips slowly forward and plants on its face.

10. Applaud the fact-checkers doing A+ work.

It’s pretty hard to wallow in self pity about having to sit through three prime-time hours of the Trump Family Variety Spectacular when the heroes at FactCheck.org are spending their week watching every minute of both conventions evaluating every ridiculously hyperbolic claim made by every marginal elected official on that stage, presumably with their eyelids taped open.

David Clarke says Americans don

Every single American owes these people a drink. At the very least, we need to all go in for a gift basket.

11. Savor the meme-worthy speech faces.

Like this one:

A delegate stands on stage. The lights are hot. He’s got his suit, tie, and firmest scowl on. He’s projecting a stern air of authority. He’s feeling good.

And then, this happens:

THE RNC GAVEL IS ALREADY FALLING APART pic.twitter.com/6sL4Mp3z8V Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) July 18, 2016

One prop master’s catastrophe is one potato-chip-eating, couch-slouching American’s perfect television.

12. Rock out to the endless playlist of music you love to hate to love to wonder what even is it?

Between the speeches, the logistical announcements, and the arcane points of order, the playlist on the first day of the 2016 RNC featured a weird collection of B sides “Limelight” by Rush, The Who’s “Eminence Front,” “Stay With Me” by Rod Stewart that undoubtedly delighted your Uncle Craig:

But it pretty much left everyone else scratching their heads. And you know what, scratching your head is immensely soothing and gratifying, so thanks, music team!

13. Appreciate that you are watching democracy happen in real time weirdly exactly the way its supposed to.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

You may not be thrilled about the election. You may think the ads are tacky. You may wish the participants were different (dear God, you may wish the participants were different).

You can hate everything about the American political process and still be grateful this is how our political transitions go down rather than when the guy in charge dies and his 9-year-old son takes over, or when a bunch of tanks plow over the White House while the president is in Bermuda, or when every federal employee is replaced by an alien impostor except for a single, mild-mannered Nebraska congressman who, luckily, is played by Kurt Russell.

New political administrations in America happen after a bunch of nerdy bureaucrats make a bunch of boring speeches about freedom, justice, and patriotism in support of candidates we dont like very much but who we will dutifully go out and choose between in November.

Its unglamorous. Its stressful. Its frustrating and exhausting. But Im going to tune in. Because it really is the worst.

Except for all the other options.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/11/if-you-havent-tuned-in-to-the-rnc-yet-here-are-13-reasons-why-you-should/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/11/if-you-havent-tuned-in-to-the-rnc-yet-here-are-13-reasons-why-you-should/

[allofbeercom]

If you haven’t tuned in to the RNC yet, here are 13 reasons why you should.

If you haven’t tuned in to the Republican National Convention yet, youre not alone.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Maybe youre a Republican who gnashes their teeth every time Donald Trump opens his mouth. Maybe youre a Democrat whos already heard “Jail Shillary Clinton” enough for one decade. Or maybe youre just a person who gets bored by boring speeches.

And yet, you still want to do your civic duty. You want to be able to participate in the watercooler conversation. Or, perhaps, youre a nervous internet writer who dabbles in politics and you want to continue to justify your salary to the publication that employs you.

Fear not! Even if the speeches ramble, the music is suspect, and the balloon drop is anticlimactic, there are many ways to make watching the RNC a fun experience for the whole family:

1. Focus on the fun hats.

When you watch a baseball game, you see baseball caps. When you watch a rodeo, you see cowboy hats. When you watch bearded 27-year-old programmers in “Buffy” T-shirts hitting on college students, you see fedoras.

The hats at the RNC are in another league. A noble league … like The League of Nations.

A league that peaked in 1918.

Cowboy hats?

Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.

Check.

Coonskin caps?

Check!

Hats directly from the costume chest for the West Oakport Community Players production of “The Music Man”?

Check and mate.

If youre a fan of delightfully anachronistic haberdashery, the Republican National Convention is the small-screen event of the mid-2010s.

2. Watch campaign operatives desperately try to spin obvious screwups into success stories.

Melania Trump’s apparent cribbing of a passage from a 2008 Michelle Obama speech on the first night of the RNC has already sent Trump’s surrogates into a flurry of questionably credible but extremely entertaining denials.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Some simply pretended it didn’t happen. Some tried to explain it away as a case of the two women simply having the exact same thoughts on the exact same subject. Others suggested that hey! only 7% of the speech was plagiarized, which really isn’t that much. (College students on deadline, take note!)

There’s no feeling quite so warm and cozy as sitting back on your couch, knowing there’s a problem out there in the world … and it’s someone else’s job to deal with it.

3. Cheer on the dancing delegates.

The RNC remains Americas #1 source of elderly people whove still got it, show it, and want you to know it.

Curious what style of arrhythmic jerking was popular in 1962? Looking forward to seeing some semi-coordinated American flag-ography? Want to watch a county commissioner from Ladysmith, Wisconsin, gingerly hip-bumping the state comptroller of Tennessee?

You only get one chance every four years. Seize it!

4. Gawk at the ridiculously over-the-top entrances.

For Donald Trump, last night’s raucous, backlit entrance to “We Are the Champions” was actually pretty restrained.

Scott Baio (Chachi!) was there Monday night.

Ehhhhhhhhhh. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

So was Antonio Sabato Jr., who totally was in something once.

Oh and hey, remember soap star Kimberlin Brown? No? Well, shes speaking too.

Like Pogs, jelly shoes, and friendship bracelets, you might not have missed them and you might not have even loved them all that much even at the height of their popularity, but they’re back, and sure, why not!

6. Cringe at the massive pandering fails.

In a Monday session with delegates from Pennsylvania, Paul Ryan took a few seconds to wave a Terrible Towel an emblem of the Pittsburgh Steelers in the air…

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

…which irked some in the city of Cleveland, where the RNC is happening. They were none too pleased to see the Republican leader brandish the banner of their bitter football rival.

In other news, Cleveland and Pittsburgh are apparently different cities. You learn new things when you watch the RNC!

7. Shovel popcorn into your mouth as Trump and his team pick random, hugely entertaining fights with GOP lawmakers.

Fittingly, for a candidate whose highest profile accomplishment is hosting a reality show, Donald Trump is really, really, good at draaaaaaaaaama.

Even before the speeches started, top Trump aide Paul Manafort attacked Ohio Gov. John Kasich America’s Republican uncle as “petulant” for refusing to attend the convention.

Photo by J.D. Pooley/Getty Images.

“Manaforts problem, after all those years on the lam with thugs and autocrats, is that he cant recognize principle and integrity,” Kasich strategist John Weaver fired back in an e-mail to The New York Times, calling out Manafort’s public relations work for the former president of Ukraine.

Rawr! Go get ’em, boys!

8. Daydream about what LeBron James is doing elsewhere in Cleveland while all this is going on.

Photo by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images.

One of the great things about Cleveland hosting the convention is that, if youre not feeling the program, you can just close your eyes and imagine what King James is up to just a few blocks away at any given moment. Maybe he’s grabbing a beer at the Radisson lobby bar across the street or wandering around the perimeter of Quicken Loans Arena trying to catch a Pikachu!

Train your brain to conjure ‘Bron, and you’re sure to realize a truth that hardened political insiders have long known: The mental image of LeBron James doing anything beats watching the 19th lieutenant governor shuffle haltingly around the stage to Kid Rocks “Born Free.”

9. Enjoy the spectacle of news organizations testing out new technology with mixed results.

The Washington Post has a robot!

LOOK OUT: The yet-to-be-named @washingtonpost robot is roaming the halls of the #gopconvention. (Cc @rkellett) pic.twitter.com/KCFFdootWo Ed O

Come for the debut of an amazing, cutting-edge mass communication tool. Stay for the schadenfreude of when it inevitably, hilariously tips slowly forward and plants on its face.

10. Applaud the fact-checkers doing A+ work.

It’s pretty hard to wallow in self pity about having to sit through three prime-time hours of the Trump Family Variety Spectacular when the heroes at FactCheck.org are spending their week watching every minute of both conventions evaluating every ridiculously hyperbolic claim made by every marginal elected official on that stage, presumably with their eyelids taped open.

David Clarke says Americans don

Every single American owes these people a drink. At the very least, we need to all go in for a gift basket.

11. Savor the meme-worthy speech faces.

Like this one:

A delegate stands on stage. The lights are hot. He’s got his suit, tie, and firmest scowl on. He’s projecting a stern air of authority. He’s feeling good.

And then, this happens:

THE RNC GAVEL IS ALREADY FALLING APART pic.twitter.com/6sL4Mp3z8V Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) July 18, 2016

One prop master’s catastrophe is one potato-chip-eating, couch-slouching American’s perfect television.

12. Rock out to the endless playlist of music you love to hate to love to wonder what even is it?

Between the speeches, the logistical announcements, and the arcane points of order, the playlist on the first day of the 2016 RNC featured a weird collection of B sides “Limelight” by Rush, The Who’s “Eminence Front,” “Stay With Me” by Rod Stewart that undoubtedly delighted your Uncle Craig:

But it pretty much left everyone else scratching their heads. And you know what, scratching your head is immensely soothing and gratifying, so thanks, music team!

13. Appreciate that you are watching democracy happen in real time weirdly exactly the way its supposed to.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

You may not be thrilled about the election. You may think the ads are tacky. You may wish the participants were different (dear God, you may wish the participants were different).

You can hate everything about the American political process and still be grateful this is how our political transitions go down rather than when the guy in charge dies and his 9-year-old son takes over, or when a bunch of tanks plow over the White House while the president is in Bermuda, or when every federal employee is replaced by an alien impostor except for a single, mild-mannered Nebraska congressman who, luckily, is played by Kurt Russell.

New political administrations in America happen after a bunch of nerdy bureaucrats make a bunch of boring speeches about freedom, justice, and patriotism in support of candidates we dont like very much but who we will dutifully go out and choose between in November.

Its unglamorous. Its stressful. Its frustrating and exhausting. But Im going to tune in. Because it really is the worst.

Except for all the other options.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/11/if-you-havent-tuned-in-to-the-rnc-yet-here-are-13-reasons-why-you-should/

[ofparadigmandstars-blog]

Friday 31st March

I got my bike reassembled today....It will be on its way soon. That is so exciting I look forward to the freedom of riding and getting much needed exercise and fresh air....Well I will try and find it. I was thinking Monavale way, deep into gorgeous Belvedere, perhaps discover new territory who knows? :) So I'm feeling a bit chipper today, dressed in my David Bowie top, my dry cough still there but easing off with this pineapple elixir I got here with me. I feel so God dam amazing actually ! I am filled with freedom and delights....Comfort , my brother John, my mum (even though she is a bit weird) love her but really don't care because I'm home and I feel fulfilled, comfortable, relaxed, happy ...I really do not miss London one little bit. I have a massive room all to myself, my guitar, my books, food, lovely coffee shops ....One in particular opening soon in Alexandra park (lovely Jessie) I don't have to wake up early for anything, I don't have to pay rent, I have all the time in the world to do what I please. To heal, to dream again, to fix my soul, to discover me, to love me. London life was far too abrasive , and I fear scratched away all of me, tore away at my heart. I fought so much, cringed, hurt, was abused, left alone, struggled, suffered. You know the only time I properly enjoyed London was with Jonny and with the money I was finally earning doing the thing that ruined so much of me i am still picking up the pieces & loving me....But at the time it was money....And my gosh I needed it. I couldn't cover my rent that month and I recall Rozalla just blatantly refused. I was so upset. Anyway I had a great time, earned bags of cash, sent mum money, Went to Rome, lived a very comfortable life with luxury. But by the time I moved to Parsons Green my head was rattled and I felt so rusty ...I began to realize how lost out of society I become. Living with those flatmates in that luxury apartment....I just began despising going into the club . I would cycle to work to defy the lives lived by strippers....I was all health, clarity, self love and of good social standing ...Not some washed out creature of the night contributing nothing to life or self. I felt exhausted, wasted and trapped. As Mars said it's not sustainable. And surely so it was not ...How corrupted and beyond self recognition I became. I just wanted to stop and start again. Hence taking time to study PT for a new life in 2014, miserable, lost and with plastic balls on my chest :( I wanted to start again...The right way with love, patience, anxiety free and that confidence that comes from family values. I felt a nobody and felt really detached....Slow crash with Jonny didnt help & he did nothing for my self value or worth .....Shame I tolerated it, nice guy blue eyes who can't just tell me you love me? Just shows how much I feel about myself ....Self love IS BIG. I craved family, comfort, support that I missed out on....I had to be in the trenches fighting from my teens in the midst of our family wealth. Zero maternal love from drug addled mum.....I felt poor in life and spirit Just like my poor brothers were starved so was I ....It's just my can do, youthful, blind ambition saw me through some of the worst episodes of my short life. And I was never received one to shout or demand my corner ...I quietly Potter away afraid if friction ....I am peaceful even if it meant complete neglect. And this began when I was a child.....Same approach quiet peaceful child needing g huge amounts of love and attention. We all know what happened to me :( I just recognise how much I lacked and I feel sorry for myself....And so I am back to reclaim what belongs to me, Love myself so much , calm my poor bones down and breath a sigh of relief that I woke up and chose this for myself. I did not wait for Jonny or dream for that anymore....I don't care for striving in that harrowing existence, I just want to be at home. And I dont care okay wrong statement....I don't yearn for anything 😀 I just want to BE finally. Mum enraged us with this unnecessary fear of the world which I took out with me....It's not true! And I was armed wrongly. Life is Good, life is cheerful, and we are blessed. And I am going to live my life with that abundance forever more,,,, I struggled under a make believe cloud of rain when everywhere else there was sun. Now I fully choose HAPPINESS and I want to shout it from the hills.....But then sadly my family don't care to hear it and the world in general don't want to know. And I am finally at a point where it's all about ME. Im so awakened to myself and I don't need to prove anything to anyone , to let in on my life journey or everyday activity, for what ....For that same validation. Stop being so ridiculous and just live your life for you...Your at home now!!! No one can EVER EVER EVER kick you out or make you feel bad. Dad loved you very much and left you money, shelter , comfort. Bless his soul x Mother took care of things and yes she cares too but she is a bit screwed up so don't mind her. And the cool thing is she does not even know me, I left when She was off her head on drugs....And she does not remember much of me....It doesn't help that I was afraid and introverted with her and the general public . So I just disappeared under the scene. So she can't pick fights with me as she does Mars plus Marlene is completely different character. I am a mermaid, a fantasy, unreachable, unblameable, a diamond dew drop in the early sun....If you touch me I will disappear. I am the last born beautiful daughter back home to claim my birthright, my place in the world, I have something, I have an identity, I have a place to call my home forever....Enough time to follow my dreams and do all the things I want. Or just sleep all day and night! Ha! No really , you don't understand how cool this is....I can't believe it ...It's like I have won back my own lottery...I just didn't think I had it or forgot because London life had such a permanent hot rod up my bum! So glad I'm done with it I'm happy x Well done for putting yourself first Laura... I love you very much and just you remember that you matter a hundred, zillion, billion, times round the world , the universe, eternity and back :) Welcome home xx