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universejunction · 3 years ago

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Midwayers, and problems of intended belief

A discord conversation (at first about fae and spirits)

Me:

I feel so far behind on learning about fae and spirits and such. When I thought The Urantia Book was more than a well-intentioned hoax it was easy to think fae and such are all just what it calls "midwayers". Now I'm... wide open to new interpretations. I know I'm not behind, I'm just where I am, but still...

I would love to give you more of an idea, but I don't know a ton about the Urantia book or what you mean by midwayers.

Me:

Oof, okay. I don't expect much in the way of answers, I know I'll get what I get in time. But I will take this opportunity to share.

In the Urantia Book, it make a lot of distinction between spirit and matter, as you might expect. Mind is the means by which Spirit rules over matter, yada yada. It also has a ton of details on angels.

There's a ton of history in there too, which I'm now interpreting as metaphor at best, because it's sure as shit not factual with its racial skeletal types and what not.

Anyway... Y'know, I'm gonna give the summary and then see if I have the energy for the story, because I'm worn out.

Basically, midwayers are midway between material and spiritual (but they're not, like, pure mind), covering the gap between angels and humans. They're native to the world, but descended from super-humans. They're immortal and stick around until the "age of light and life". And there's 1111 of either all of them or that might just be the first group of them.

Midwayers also get attributed cases of demonic possession (but so does mental illness), though they're not supposed to be able to do that anymore since Jesus completed his experience of life and earned his sovereignty (which was... before his public work) as basically god of local creation.

There's so much in this book and I carved it into my brain and now I don't trust it but it's still so quick to mind 😩

Innkeeper:

Woof okay I just read this

This is....so much not correct at all but also weirdly accurate

Which makes sense considering my personal theories on bleedthrough but thats another topic for another time

Me:

"Bleedthrough" sounds so very likely correct even without knowing what you mean exactly. That's pretty much my theory on how the Absolutes stuff seems so probably accurate despite everything else

I'm just going to offer that whenever you hear "superhuman," in a spiritual tome, your hackles should probably raise.

Like, it sounds like this is coming from the same branch of angelic and Christian occultism that recognize the Nephilim, but uh, just be mindful that rhetoric about "ancient superhumans" is almost ALWAYS used to sell bullshit about magic indigenous people

It sounds like you're mindful of that, but, heads up

The midwayer concept is ringing alarm bells between "Magic White People From Outer Space" to "Eugenics"

Innkeeper:

The idea of a liminal concept, something that exists in between those two states, I feel that holds water

The idea of literally everything else is uh

Worrisome at best

Me:

I'll add more in a sec but y'all right

Me (later):

To be clear, I was raised on the Urantia Book and am now moving away from it. For reasons mentioned above, among others.

It does come very close to "magic white people from outer space" and definitely is like "eugenics is a good idea but no one is qualified to direct it".

Me (replying to A):

Adding on, yes, but it's like... Fix-it fic. There's this spirit prince for the world who rebelled with Lucifer (who was like... a local administrator, not a god or angel), but when he arrived they like... called 100 natives [of Earth], cloned them with power-ups, and put people from other worlds like ours into the bodies who served as the prince's staff in the task of cultivating culture. Those staff, through essentially spiritual sex, created the first midwayers. After rebellion, the staff split and the ones who stay loyal to the prince are called nephilim and start a line of (acknowledged in the text) big ol' nasty racial supremacists. They're also called Nodites (c.f. "Land of Nod")

Later, Adam and Eve show up to "upstep" human evolution (disease resistance, humor, art... yeah, magic white people) but because the prince rebelled and shit's fucked, they're having a hard time. Eve bangs a local tribe leader to get an alliance and fucks everything up (that results in Cain. Able is Adam and Eve's next kid). So now should-be-immortal Adam and Eve only have a few hundred years to live and their (already many) kids get the choice to leave and most of them do.

A while later, their first son, Adamson, goes off to start a new cultural center, meets a woman named Rata who "claims" to be the last pure-line Nodite. [They] have a bunch of kids, every 4th of which is invisible(???), and they make those kids get together (yikes!) and that's where the secondary midwayers come from.

And it lampshades all this like "many things in the spiritual development of a world are hard to understand." Uh, yeah! History is weird, sure, but as it's fan fic, it's creepy.

So, I'm saying this with all the love in my heart, but you can only portray things as fiction which are not intended to be believed.

That's not a fanfiction, that's a religious text. That is a religious text with a fully realized theology and metaphysics, complete with creation story. I think it is harmful to approach it as anything else, or as a "generic" metaphysical practice. (Relatedly, there is no such thing as "generic witchcraft," which is a main point of this history of the occult book club).

Doing a little bit more research, it's a religious text associated loosely with the Urantia Foundation and written in 1955. I'm not seeing any indication at the moment that there's a formal power structure associated with the movement, which lessens the chance for cult behavior.

What I will suggest to you is that you need to approach this work like you would any other religious text. Set aside questions of whether the text is "accurate" or "true." If you are honestly interested in the metaphysical, you should be able to separate empirical reality and history for the metaphysical. If you can't do that, take five steps back in your practice and come back once you can.

So, setting aside questions of truth, does this cosmology reflect the things you believe about the world? Does it encourage a way of thinking about people that you think is good, virtuous, honorable, etc? Can this text be used to uphold values that you hold, or do the natural extensions of this text lead to certain conclusions? Are those conclusions harmful?

For instance, I believe that eugenics is totally and morally abhorrent, and that there is fundamentally "no such thing" as a person who could pull it off "correctly." There's no way to do eugenics "right," just like I believe there is no morally correct way to, I don't know, punch a baby.

As such, even your acknowledgment that the text accepts eugenics makes it worthy of rejection in my mind.

Maybe you are interested and capable of doing the apologetics to make this into a compassionate religious movement. I don't know. I am not interested in doing that. But I do not think you can "move away" from this text, in the same way that you cannot "move away" from the bible, only from interpretations of it.

At some point, you have to believe in a basic assumption. If there's something that "feels right," there's only so far you can push it without that basic assumption.

If you think there is a separation between mind, body, and Spirit, wonderful. I would recommend you find another text and another basic set of assumptions. For instance, one that doesn't involve angels making angel-possesed magic native people for the point of preparing the world for the "good races."

Me:

Yes, you've got it right. Except that my interpretation has moved from "I think this book is what it claims" to "I think this was (probably well-intentioned, but still) a hoax perpetrated by ex-Seventh-Day Adventists". But for whatever good intentions may've been involved, the fact that it's intended to be believed makes it very harmful. I talked about it today as a way of saying "wow, look at this crazy shit" and talking through the changes involved in my different interpretation / loss of faith.

I don't believe in midwayers anymore and don't know what to believe, I'm trying to do the work, as you say, of finding what parts are good and what's harmful, comparing with empirical stuff, etc. But, however ready I may've been to walk away from the Urantia Book, it's still a process of recognizing what ideas I have based on it and examining them in turn to see what's salvageable.

Innkeeper:

I think that's an incredibly respectful way to go about it, Toph.

When something is that formative to you as a person, it's rarely as easy as learning it's harmful and then moving on, entirely separated from the source material. There's a long process of digging up every assumption you know you have--and many you don't know you have, or don't have at all--and needing to challenge them in a newer, healthier framework. One of the most potent aspects of the danger of cults is that they're incredibly difficult to challenge that base assumption, and it can take years if not a lifetime to walk a path that steadily heads away from what was taught.

So to acknowledge something formative's deep capacity for danger and harm, and go through the long process of picking it apart piece by piece to ensure you don't retain its harmfulness as you separate from it, I think that's the best possible way to go about something.

#urantia analysis #behold my eloquence #long post

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darisu-chan · 5 years ago

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I really love the scene where Hanatarou tells Ichigo and Ganju about the time he spent with Rukia, but ti’s also a scene that gets misinterpreted when it comes to Ichigo’s reasoning to save Rukia.

If you’re interested, you can read my first analysis on Ichigo’s reasonings here.

Anyway

It all starts with Ichigo questioning why Hanatarou, a Shinigami, is even helping them save Rukia. Hanatarou tells him his reasons:

So in here we know that a) Hanatarou personally knows Rukia, b) Hanatarou knows all about Ichigo through Rukia, which is why he knows he can trust him, c) Rukia talked about Ichigo while in prison, d) because of Rukia’s faith in Ichigo, Hanatarou can trust Ichigo to save her.

Then we learn more of who she is as a person. That a) she’s a noble, if that hadn’t been made clear anough, and b) that she’s very kind, to the point in which it is surprising.

Now, knowing that Rukia is this kind, specially to someone like Hanatarou, a member of the 4th squad who gets picked on my other Shinigami, will come to play later on in this very scene.

Anyway, the fact Rukia is being so kind, puts Hanatarou at ease and starts enjoying his time her. Rukia also starts opening up to him. And in her imprisonment, while waiting for her sentence to die, what does Rukia talk about? That’s right. Ichigo.

She doesn’t talk about her life in Inuzuri, her life in her squad, etc. She talks about Ichigo,

Now some people mentioned that Rukia brightens up when Renji mentioned Ichigo was in the SS because she had believed Ichigo had died. I do think she knew she had saved his life by leaving with Byakuya, because she was aware Urahara was in town.She probably assumed he was going to help Ichigo out and heal him. My personal belief is that Rukia brightened when she heard that Ichigo was in SS because that meant he was truly well, and because she had hidden hope in her that he was going to save her, even when she didn’t want to hope for that. I infer this because in HM she says she understands Orihime and knows how it feels when you find out your friends are going to save you.

So, anyway, Rukia at this point probably knows Ichigo is alive. Powerless, but alive. Which means he’s save. But she probably started feeling very nostalgic and decided to talk to Hanatarou about him.

I absolutely adore this panel because it is so true. They knew each other for such a little time, specially for Rukia, who has lived for over 100 years. Two months would mean nothing, and yet Rukia trusted Ichigo in such a way that she never lost faith in him in the entirety of the series. The first time we are aware of how much faith she has in him was during the fight with Grand Fisher, when she left him fight for pride. I also think this shows Rukia knew that even while powerless, Ichigo would be able to overcome his life without her.

But then, we’re hit with her guilt.

At this point, Rukia doesn’t think her meeting Ichigo brought him any joy. He was injured numerous times, his friends were in danger, he even found out his mom got killed by a hollow and, lastly, he got thoroughly defeated by Byakuya, lost his powers, and she had to leave him in such a painful way.

None of these things would have happened if they had never met. In short, Ichigo would have been a normal human being, none the wiser about SS and hollows and the like.

Rukia at this point fails to see that she impacted Ichigo in a very positive way. That’s not the case later in the series, when she, for example, cheers Ichigo on to get stronger to protect his friend with the “That’s the man you’re in my heart!” speech, and also, she did give Ichigo his powers back in the Lost Agent Arc. Which is why I don’t agree that Rukia decided that she and Ichigo could never be together, because she had only brought him pain as a Shinigami and that he deserved a normal human life. If that’s how you rationalized the ending, it’s fine by me. But I believe Rukia moved past those feelings right after this arc ended, and makes absolutely no sense to me that by the end she would regress to this point so early in the overall story.

Moving on, at this point, Rukia is feeling very pessimistic and truly believes she deserves her fate. She just laments she had to drag Ichigo into all of this.

I’m willing to bet she probably was remembering the last time they saw each other over and over, and how harsh she had to act just to save him. Rukia also probably knows Ichigo is blaming himself, which makes her feelings of guilt become stronger. Again, all this time she’s sad and gloomy and only truly reacts for the first time when she finds out Ichigo is in the SS.

Now, here comes the part people love to use against Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship, whether platonic or more.

Ganju calls Rukia a weird Shinigami, just like Ichigo, and Ichigo agrees.

A lot of people have used this as proof of Ichigo insulting Rukia without thinking about what “weird” means in this context, and pretty much while also ignoring the rest of this scene.

Let’s think first about what Ganju has to say. “She is another weird Shinigami, just like you.”

Ganju hates Shinigami.

This is one of the very first things we learn about him.

And we also know that he hates them because a Shinigami killed his brother and said Shinigami seemed unfeeling.

But we also know it’s not only Ganju who doesn’t trust Shinigami. The rest of the souls also don’t like Shinigami.

They are scene as arrogant, cruel and unfeeling. That they like to pick on the weaklings.

And, honestly, think about the Shinigami we’ve seen so far.

I know that in present times we all like them because we’ve gotten to know them at a personal level, but let’s take a moment to think how all Shinigami, except for a few ones, have been presented to us.

Renji fought a powerless Rukia, hurt her and slammed her against a pole.

Byakuya would have murdered Ichigo if it hadn’t been for Rukia.

Byakuya, Rukia’s older brother, seemingly doesn’t care that she’s going to die.

Gin and Kenpachi were incredibly creepy the first time they appeared.

Gin cut off Jidanbo’s arm.

Ikkaku and Yumichika would have murdered Ichigo and Ganju without a second thought.

Kurotsuchi threatened both Nemu and Ikkaku in the same scene.

Kenpachi just seems to enjoy fighting.

They really haven’t been scene as empathetic creatures, as oppossed to humans and other souls, for example.

Ichigo is weird to Ganju because he’s not unfeeling or cruel. In fact, his whole purpose is a selfless act from Ganju’s POV. Ichigo is risking his very life to save Rukia’s. Now he’s heard that Rukia is kind to Hanatarou, who previously was seen being picked on by other fellow Shinigami, and the others didn’t even care if Ichigo and Ganju killed him. Rukia’s not like that. And she also felt remorse for changing Ichigo’s life. So, yes, to him Rukia is weird, as she’s not unfeeling.

Then Ichigo agrees, for other reasons. But it isn’t an insult.

Because she’s weird, he has to save her:

We see that Hanatarou’s story spurrs him to move faster, to reach Rukia, while he thinks about what Hanatarou just told him.

Rukia is blaming herself for things that she shouldn’t be blaming herself, because the truth is Ichigo doesn’t blame her for anything. In fact, we know he’s grateful. He’s grateful because she saved his family. She was the one to give him the power to protect, which is central to his whole character.

So, to him, yes, it’s weird that she’s placing the blame on herself when she has been nothing but kind to him.

She protected him to the very end.

She’s weird because she’s kind to a fault.

But, here’s the thing, Ganju was right in comparing Ichigo and Rukia as both being weird.

Because Ichigo also blames himself:

Ichigo thinks Rukia is weird for blaming herself when the one at fault was him.

Because Ichigo made a mistake back in the first chapter, she sacrificed herself to protect him and then gave him her power so he could save his family, which ended up in her receiving a death sentence.

Worse, when he had gone to protect her, she saved him instead.

So, yes, it hurts Ichigo to know she’s going to die because of him, and that not once has she blamed him. In fact, that she told a complete stranger that she had nothing but the highest faith in him, probably made him want to try and save her even more.

And because she has been nothing but good to him and for him, he has to save her.

So she procclaims once more that he is going to save her.

#ichiruki #man I am on a roll #darisu-chan reads bleach

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chiiquititamoved · 5 years ago

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ep 1 of bbc dracula - observations

beginning looks very creepy. am i down? not sure.

there’s a cool nun! i’m getting some very good badass vibes

wHEw, okay, i was expecting some queerbait-y type stuff from this show but literally before even the intro, this (AMAZING) nun just goes “mr harker. have you had sexual intercourse with dracula?”

just. right out of the gate

we’ve established that this nun doesn’t have any faith in god

okay now we’re getting into the castle stuff. (this is right after the intro)

aw mina (from her letter) seems like a sweetheart so far

this is very beauty and the beast so far. like when belle’s dad goes into the castle and there’s no one there

oooh we just met dracula. he’s very wrinkly and old

“they [people of transylvania] are without... flavour.” “perhaps you mean character?” “ahahahaa.”

i feel like i should clarify that harker is staying in a convent, being cared for by nuns while he’s sick. he’s telling his story to badass nun and this other nun and the viewer is seeing what happened through cuts or whatever

okay you know just some book stuff is happening - dracula’s being a weirdo, johnny harker notices some odd goings on, etc.

so, this has always struck me - in the book as well - why is dracula always climbing up walls like a fucking lizard? why? first of all, he can turn in to a bat, so if he needs to get OVER the wall then he can fucking FLY. if he doesn’t need to get over the wall then wtf is he doing? harker is going to see or hear him - i mean, god knows he’s acted weirdly/suspiciously enough for harker to be scared/nervous around him - like??? dracula really is an idiot psychopath bisexual

harker’s having an *ehem* mildly i n n a p r o p r i a t e dream. he and mina are having sex but then mina turns into wrinkly old dracula. yucky yuck.

now harker sees ‘help us’ written on his window

it’s in english! very convenient for mr harker - so our wonderful nun points out: “you are an englishman: a combination of presumptions beyond compare.” (no hate to englishmen)

harker starts to explore the castle. uh oh.

he gets lost + dracula finds him

our man dracula is wining and dining johnny!

Dracula looks younger now. :| this is suspicious

dracula is EVEN YOUNGER! glow up!!!!

harker is starting notice there’s NO STAFF IN THE CASTLE... and his health is deteriorating

wow johnny is actually being very brave!! i must say i am proud

johnny is finding a bunch of old pictures in a wooden bin somewhere in the castle. are these dracula’s previous victims?? WHO KNOWS

FUCK there’s a fucking dead lady in the wooden bin. yuckkk i do not approve

she just chased him down this tunnel, and now dracula’s there and harker passes out

badass nun (agatha) is telling us about the UNDEAD. explains a lot

drac says he found johnny asleep on the floor in the basement, all the while looking SUSPICIOUSLY young.

HEY drac is calling him johnny! that’s my thing >:(

now johnny doesn’t recognize mina’s picture! what’s going on?

he’s making johnny write three letters to mina: one saying he’s almost leaving the castle, one saying he’s leaving the next day, and one saying he’s left safely, etc.

john’s hallucinating that a baby’s crying in the distance. OR IS HE?

harker is willing to sacrifice himself for a baby he doesn’t even know exists. i’m actually proud of how brave he is :’(

AGATHA!! i love her

so harker is starting to plot an escape - he looks for a map to the castle. he knows that drac said that it doesn’t exist but his reasoning is that the architect was an artist and would have wanted his art preserved. he finds the map in a painting of the architect’s dead wife (because she’s the sunlight of his life and he built this place to escape the actual sunlight when she died?? i think?? Sorry that was confusing)

so, the architect made hidden passages through the maze of the castle

harker finds a passage! yay

okay the passage led to a room, and in the room there’s a lady in a wooden box thing eating rats. she comes out of the box, she’s a vampire, and johnny’s talking to her. she left the message on the window earlier? maybe? this is unclear.

she bites john

harker askes nun agatha why she’s got no “faith” and she says “I have looked for god everywhere in this world and never found him.” “Then why are you here?” “Well, like many women of my age, I am trapped in a loveless marriage, maintaining appearances for the sake of a roof over my head.” GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN

eww there’s a deadish baby in the box thing

drac kills the lady in the castle

harker: “you’re a monster!” drac: “and you’re a lawyer. nobody’s perfect.”

okay drac and harker have a suspenseful chat, bla bla bla. drac is trying to REPRODUCE?

If this turns into some fucking mpreg fanfiction bullshit i’m suing

drac goes outside onto a balcony thing in the castle w/ johnny and they lay down (drac in the shade and harker in the sun) and drac asks johnny to describe the sun to him?? cool i guess??

drac, about the sun: “But that’ll burn me to dust.” my man john harker: “Good.” “fair enough.”

i LOVE how johnny is literally on death’s door, and still manages to snark at the man who put him there

okay so john’s still outside w/ drac, it’s established that he’s either going to die (fully) or be stuck in the castle for the rest of his “life”. harker is shaking, bla bla, and he goes “drac! spare me!” and drac’s like “how, dude?” and then we cut to agatha and harker in the convent and it turns out that harker just wrote pages of shit like “dracula is my master!” “dracula will be obeyed!” “dracula is god!” when he got to the convent and it’s like... whew

turns out he thought he was writing an account of his stay at the castle but he really just wrote like 100 pages of that

oooookay - now, johnny’s begging drac to let him go and drac’s like “how?” and john says he won’t tell anyone about drac’s plans to move to england and kill everybody so drac’s like “sure,” and harker’s like “wait really,” and drac’s like “oooh i’m going to destroy everyone you love bla bla bla but if you swear you won’t try to stop me i’ll let you go.” UM.

but now harker gives this impressive last hurrah thing where he kinda like... climbs up dracula’s body? like drac pulls him? and he goes “i swear that if you let me out here alive... I’LL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO STOP YOU!” psych

and then drac kills him and he falls down

“SO HOW IS HE ALIVE?”, you ask

“HE’S A VAMPIRE,” i say

oh no! he’s not! my lovely agatha reveals that he’s “undead, but not a vampire,”

aggie: “it’s not something that one anticipates asking: but, what happened after you were murdered?”

okay so now johnny becomes undead and he still has a spirit! johnathan harker has a will, etc and he tries to jump off of the balcony thing. drac’s like hey you should stay w/ me! ur kinda like me u kno and john’s like NOPE

then the sun hits drac’s face and johnny falls from the balcony

now aggie reveals that a river, which john fell into, bore him out to sea and a fisherman found him caught in his net. he was brought to the convent/agatha

agatha: “i am known to have some expertise in the realm of witchcraft and the occult.” johnny: “You’re a nun.” ag: “We can discuss my imperfectly suppressed fascination with everything dark and evil another time.”

oh!!!!!! so - the sun reflected the cross that harker was wearing onto drac!!!! and that’s why drac fell/was hurt whatever

so basically like minor vampires and shit don’t fear the cross??? but big guy (drac) does?

agatha’s like “i looked everywhere and finally i found god!!!! yay” and she’s happy

OH FUCK!!! THE SECOND NUN IN THE ROOM IS MINA!!!

basically aggie found out who he was, traced him back to london, and found mina (she mentions a detective acquaintance - sherlock crossover, anyone?)

mina: “we are to be married, so who you are will always be my decision.”

they have a really touching “i still love u!!” type scene and then a bunch of fucking bats fly in

turns out drac’s at the convent now

mina got bitten (on her face) by a bat and she’s kinda bloody and harker’s like woooh take this stake so you can stab me if i try to drink that

god agatha has SO MANY good lines!!!

now dracula has turned into a wolf and he’s outside the gates of the convent

mina hugs johnathan and he licks her blood :(

now he backs her into a corner and tries to drink her blood, but then he stops and tries TO IMPALE HIMSELF ON THE WOODEN STAKE

the wolf has this really gross transformation scene and he turns into dracula as a human

OOKAY so a bunch of nuns come to the gates (i should clarify that that’s where dracula is) and they pull out wooden stakes and agatha’s like drac you’re going down.

agatha opens the gates of the convent!!! and tells dracula he’s not invited in and he can’t come in

agatha to drac: “I expect a beast to follow rules, I don’t expect it to understand them.”

agatha cuts her hand open and like taunts him w/ the blood

SHE’S AGATHA VAN HELSING OH MY GOD

THEY REALLY TURNED VAN HELSING INTO A WOMAN!!!!!

drac: “who are you?” agatha: “your every nightmare at once. an educated woman in a crucifix.” !!!!!!!!

OH FUCK!!!! johnathan really is dead!!!!! :((( i thought he wouldn’t be but nvm i guess

mina and aggie have a talk and mina says she’ll never love anybody else :’(

oh shit!!! i was right he isn’t dead! drac does that weird lizard wall climbing thing again and goes into his window and tells johnny that “suicide doesn’t work.” great.

dracula’s like hey bud i can kill you properly! since it needs another person! all you’ve gotta do is invite me in! :))))))

we cut to the mother superior and she’s giving a nice little lecture about god

and then dracula comes in and cuts her head off

the nuns are obviously terrified BUT they’ve got their crosses and they push him away, whatever, but then drac calls a bunch of wolves

“I’m undead, I’m not unreasonable.”

the nuns get attacked by the wolves EXCEPT for agatha and mina, who went to agatha’s workshop to escape

harker comes down to the workshop! (which they surrounded by sacramental bread or something) and they’re arguing over whether they should let him in and mina’s like i’m gonna do it! and she almost does but she sees that harker’s eyes aren’t blue anymore, so she’s like hey what’s up with that and then harker starts PEELING HIS FACE OFF and it’s dracula

THE END OF EPISODE ONE

phewwwwwww. So this is almost 2000 words? And very incoherent. If you’ve had the courage to read this far, thank you.

IN CONCLUSION: will i keep watching this show? yes. i’m very squeamish so i’ll probably skip some of the gory stuff later on but other than that i will definitely continue.

did i like this show? YES. i honestly started it with very low expectations but so far it’s really good. to be fair, though, i found that in the book the beginning was the best part and i didn’t love it after, so i guess we’ll see.

did i like it better than the book? so far, yeah. The book was full of bullshit like “ooh you have a man’s brain and a woman’s heart,” to mina, which :/. (obviously it’s not like i could have expected much better from a male victorian author but still.) i love how they made van helsing a woman! I know agatha is going to be wonderful.

#dracula #bbc #bbc dracula #this is so long #i'm sorry #agatha van helsing #mina murray #johnathan harker #mine

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pxhi · 5 years ago

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Strangers from hell / Hell is other people

Rate. 100/10 ~~~ (There’s a spoiler alert after the actors review)

I must say I LOVED all the actors work; they were so good, I think they did an amazing job portraying their characters (especially Park Jong-Hwan). This is the first time for me watching the work of Im Si-Wan and to be honest I was very pleased. At first, I thought that compared to the characters of Eden studio it was very poor, like a “normal” acting, we saw him getting scared and pissed at times but there wasn’t anything where you could say like “AH SHIT, that’s a good actor”, BUT as the drama went on I realized how a great actor he is, especially the last episode I was like *wtf wahh* so, yeah, GREAT.

Lee Dong-Wook, ah, my Wookie baby uwu, I haven’t seen many kdramas (just 14, to be precise; I started about a month ago) but I *loved* the ones with LDW on them (Life, Goblin and Touch your heart). He gave me this inner impression that is an amazing actor just with his eyes and facial expressions, I felt like he didn’t change his corporal movements on this 3 dramas, but he could perform feelings and emotions very well with just his face so I was amazed. AND HERE, wah, he was A W E S O M E, the smile he created for Moon-Jo was SO fuckin creepy while his whole body felt at peace. It felt like Dong-Wook can portray really scary characters as an easy job, wah.

Park Jong-Hwan was really good with his acting too, since the first time I saw the giggly twin it didn’t feel like acting to me, I remember that at a moment I thought “I feel like he is a real person”. I remember that I actually appreciated the work of Jong-Hwan on this scene where Moon-Jo is threatening the people in the 4th floor after killing one of them and I thought “this whole time I’ve been feeling that these two were real and different people, who tf is this actor”. Really nice job. -I’ll stop here with the actors because it went too long, sorry :(

As for the plot, it was p e r f e c t. I think it didn’t have any holes in the story like many thrillers with serial killers have. Although it bothers me this scene when the newcomer borrows the charger from Jong-Woo¿¿ and I also thought that he had something weird when he ate the meat and said he liked it… but anyway, it’s very well written AND wrapped up at the end, wahh.

(SPOILER ALERT)

The characters’ development was perfect too, as for the timing AND the emotions they were experiencing. I liked how Byeon Deuk-Jong (giggly twin) seemed fearless at the beginning but it changes drastically when MoonJo kills his brother, he was notoriously scared in this scene when MoonJo threatens him asking if he wants to leave too and he replies with “that’s ridiculous. I love what I do, I love this job… so much” DUDE WAS ABOUT TO CRY. And what to say about Jong-woo, I actually believed at some point that he might be able to overcome the whole story nicely, escape from hell and everything but BAAM, there you see him in his clinical bed with all his memories of killing and “finishing” his book, ugh, MoonJo definitely created a fine piece of his art and I think he won’t let it go.

YES I think MoonJo might be alive! At first I had no doubts he “lost” the war (“-” because he knew he was going to win even if he had to die, “honey, now you and I will be together forever”; he knew that the human mind is complicated and Joon-woo will carry him in his thoughts for a loooong time) but then when the police officer (sorry I don’t remember her name) saw him in the elevator I was so confused, I mean, at some point I believed that MoonJo wasn’t human, he was everywhere and always disappeared¿ and let’s not forget that he appeared as shadows too so.. but I decided to believe him human, so I went on and then I saw again the part where JongWoo kills the gang and guess what? When we saw him killing MoonJo, it was all in the officer’s mind. Then when she goes away and we’re back in JongWoo’s mind/memories we see a JongWoo out of his mind and still scared of his creator, yes, we see a dying MoonJo there too, but in the same scene he’s alone hallucinating with MoonJo strangling him¿. Besides, I really can’t think of a reason why the officer could be hallucinating whit MoonJo, every time she saw him, he was actually there. Let’s not forget either that MoonJo has connections in the police and a lot of experience and knowledge about murder and the human body, he knew about sleeping toxins too and actually had them (remember every time the landlady made JongWoo dizzy? And how MoonJo said that JW girlfriend was just sleeping too) so yeah, I really think it’s a possibility, plus, if he survives in the original comic, why can’t he survive here too?

The bromance. I actually don’t agree with this one, a lot of people’re saying this about JongWoo and MoonJo, and I even read that someone said MoonJo wouldn’t dare to kill JongWoo because he said that JW was really special to him. I mean, of course JongWoo was special HE WAS AN EXPERIMENT, and MoonJo had a lot of faith in it. To begin with, I’m sure that Ki-Hyeok (Lee Hyun-Wook) was going to be the successor of Moon-Jo. Ki-Hyeok behaved exactly like MoonJo; he was calm, he stopped the fights for the gang to behave accord the rules and not precipitate, he also had this serene creepy smile that distinguishes the temple of MoonJo from the rest of the studio buddies, even the black long sleeve shirt

I don’t know if this exactly is important but I noticed it and the fact that both of them found scared JongWoo at the same spot which wasn’t tied to the studio, we even heard a lot of characters asking Moon-Jo if Jong-Woo was really going to be the replacement of unit 302 (anyways, I think we had it clear when we had the scene of Ki-Hyeok as a newcomer of the studio).

And I noticed that Moon-Jo had a kind of affection for Ki-Hyeok since his eyes were wet while killing him, maybe he actually had to low his head as we saw because he reached the tear point. So, if Moon-Jo did not hesitate in killing his Ki-Hyeok creation, certainly he could easily do the same if Jong-Woo didn’t turn as he wanted. In conclusion, when Moon-Jo says “Jong-Woo is very special to me” he’s thinking of JW as his prey and potential and better Ki-Hyeok.

Other things I liked very much were the direction details. I especially loved the scenes from above where we could see all the involved characters at the same time, in most of the movies/shows when someone is behind the door they show the person inside, and then the camera goes by the door and show the other one behind, but this had the complete view and that was even more terrifying. And I have to point the fact that every time a character felt trapped he was just surrounded by other people, and it reinforced the meaning of “hell is other people”; they didn’t have chains nor were they in cages or cells, but around smiley creepy people. I also appreciate that there weren’t strange things like pop-up terrifying faces and stuff, horror levels went gradually up on their own as the drama progressed, it was awesome. I have nothing bad to say about the OST either, it’s a really nice one and suited perfectly to the drama, it gave this suspense feeling even when the spectator can imagine what’s going to happen.

The P L O T W I S T S; shit these were nicely done. I wasn’t surprised at all about Dong-Wook character, I actually felt good when he killed Ki-Hyeong because I had this impression that he was like, the head of what happens in the studio (whatever it was it had to be him, I was sure) so after that I thought “yeah, now I’ll get to see you more bby”, wasn’t wrong at all… but:

The twins! I was like *WTF WHY WHERE WHEN WAH*, it was really unexpected for me.

When Jong-Woo had to decide whether to kill his friend or let his girlfriend die, and he went after Moon-Jo, shit, I really thought he was going to kill the poor guy.

The ending – I was kinda impressed with the ending because of the last point, when Jong-Woo decided to fight Moon-Jo it was cleared that Jong-Woo strongly believed that he wasn’t like the studio people, ~my friend is a good person, I can’t kill him- but Moon-Jo? This mtf son of a bitch~ vibes, and then at the very very end he was all messed up because (as MJ said, he enjoyed killing the studio people) he really hated them and that rotted his mind, ugh, nice end wrapping anyway, I was very pleased with it.

#strangers from hell #hell is other people #lee dong wook #im si wan #dong wook #siwan #reccommended #kdrama #ocn #tags arent working #seriously wtf

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teratalia · 5 years ago

Text

Empusa girlfriend x reader

Hi it's been quite a while since I last posted so here have an attempt at a lil bit of horror monster love. I'm gonna be real with you, ok - what we've got here is a mix of actual Greek myth and some of my own additions so is this 100% faithful to myth? No. But did I have fun? Absolutely.

Quick notes: nb reader, some violence, blood, character death, my attempt at a somewhat creepier story (sorry in advance)

*****

You open your eyes, vision clouded over in an odd shade of orange. The scent of cinnamon and honey wafts over you as a beautiful woman climbs into bed with you, straddling you. Realizing that this must be a dream, you decide to just go with it. With a smile, you lean up to kiss her, letting your hands tangle in her ash silver hair.

She giggles against your lips, pressing her slender body against yours, hands wandering over your chest and shoulders. The woman breaks the kiss, trailing her lips down your face to nip at your neck. Your hand idly roams over her, reaching down, and you don't know why your fingertips feel so cold. Looking down, you see that the thigh where you hand is resting is shiny, reflecting the moonlight. It's made of coppery metal.

As you realize this, the hand in her hair suddenly burns and you reel back with a shout, pushing her away. Your palm and fingers are charred - you look up and see that her hair has burst into flames, but the woman is completely unfazed. Instead, she grins widely, and that's when you see the long fangs poking over her bottom lip.

You try to jump off the bed, try to get away, but you're frozen in fear. The woman crawls back over to you, opening her mouth wide. Before you can stop her, she lunges forward and sinks her teeth into your neck.

You wake up with a scream, looking around the room wildly. There's no one there. The suspicious shadow in the corner is just a pile of clothes flung carelessly over a chair. Taking a shaky breath, you slip back under the covers, pressing a hand to your neck and making sure there's nothing there. That dream felt so terribly real…

You can barely fall back asleep, and it feels like seconds later the alarm clock is blaring in your ears, urging you up. You sigh and force yourself to go start your day.

What a terrible thought to have stuck in your mind as you get ready for a first day of a new job. You grumble to yourself as you get ready and prepare a cup of coffee, but you're determined to not let it get to you. If only it was one of those nightmares that you promptly forgot upon waking up, but no, of course not. You knew it would be in the back of your mind all day.

*****

Regardless, you get to work early and start your day with a smile. It's a retail job at your local mall that pays more than minimum wage and you're actually pretty excited to start. You don't really mind working with customers, it's just the annoying and rude ones that make life difficult. For the most part, you know that your job will probably just start with folding clothes and answering simple questions.

Your hunch is right, and after meeting your coworkers, you follow your new manager around and shadow her as she works.

"Quick question, Miss Heath," you say.

"Oh, honey, just call me Eliane." She smiles at you and for a second your brain short circuits, just like it always does when talking to pretty women. Naturally light brown skin, a killer smile, what's not to like? She flips long black hair over one shoulder and captures you in her brown-eyed stare. "What is it?"

"I-I was just wondering, will you need me to package and send deliveries of inventory to other stores?"

"You seem like such a go-getter, and I really like that." Eliane smiles again and you nearly drop the clothes you're holding. "Yes, that will be part of your job later, and I can show you how to do that today. Sound good?"

All you can do is nod in response. You can't help but wonder how you're going to be able to work without getting a full-fledged crush on your manager, and throw yourself into your work. Before the day is done, you've already managed to sell quite a few clothes and accessories, and you've helped plenty of customers. Your coworkers pat you on the back and Eliane nods approvingly.

"With a work ethic like that, you'll be looking at a promotion before you know it." She's taller than you, and leans down to add, "I've got a good feeling about you."

You nod jerkily and hastily clock out, heading back home. You're halfway home before you realize that Miss Eliane, when she leaned down to whisper in your ear, smelled a lot like honey. She liked tea, and always had a mug of it nearby, so that's what that smell was.

Shaking that ridiculous thought out of your head, you continue to walk. Thankfully the mall is actually a short walk from your apartment, so you don't need to drive or catch public transport. The only problem is warding off creeps in the street.

As you walk, you think that you hear another set of footsteps following you, but when you spin around, there's no one there. You reach into your pocket and grip your keys, holding them so that they poke out from between your fingers, and walk a bit faster. Nothing else happens, and you don't hear anything else, but you're still relieved to reach your apartment safe and sound.

*****

During the following weeks, you get used to your new job and get to know your coworkers. Your favorite by far is Adrian, who's a very laid back guy. However, when he needed to work, he was so charming and great at getting people to buy things that they didn't even know they needed.

"How do you even do that, Adrian?" You ask enviously, watching a customer head off with twice as much as they wanted. "That must be a skill."

"Oh, you don't know? Just bat your eyelashes and give them puppy dog eyes," says your other favorite coworker, Rose. It took a while to get to know her, with her customary deadpan stare, but now you know that her teasing is all in good fun. "They won't be able to resist your persuasion then."

Adrian just laughs, leaning against the wall behind the register. "She's not far off, actually. But more than puppy dog eyes, try to gently persuade them. I call it suggesting, like say they want...this bracelet." He reaches over you to grab a bracelet from the display next to the registers. "And see, these earrings match, right?" Again, he reaches right past you to pick them up, his hand brushing your shoulder. "There's no way the customer can leave without the matching set."

"Dude, those aren't actually a set though." Rose casually leans against the table next to you, your arms touching.

"Of course they're not. But the customer doesn't need to know that."

"Ooh, what a great strategy. I'm so glad I can learn from the master," you tease.

Adrian puts the jewelry back. "Laugh all you want, but I can guarantee results."

Just then, the phone rings. You glare at it, as you hate answering the phone but you know it's something you need to do.

"Don't worry, I got it." Rose grabs it and answers, still very close to you.

By now, you know that your coworkers are a little touchy-feely at times, but it doesn't really bother you. It only feels a little weird when Eliane is around, because she always stares disapprovingly and says something about workplace conduct.

That night, as you walk home, you hear other footsteps. Since the very first night you walked back, you hadn't heard a second set of footsteps, and it terrifies you. Clutching your keys in your fist just like last time, you pick up the pace, hurrying home. This time, though, the person catches up to you. They grab you around your shoulders and start pulling you backwards. You scream and try to fight, but their grip on your arms is too tough to break.

"Just stop struggling and I won't hurt you," they hiss into your ear. "You're in danger."

"What are you talking about?" Any attempts to hit them go ignored.

You feel them lean down, hear them take a deep breath. "I can smell it on you, that scent...Don't go to your job anymore or bad things will happen."

"You know where I work? You stalker!" You cry, trying and failing to escape their grasp, not even bothering with how creepy it was that they sniffed your hair.

"You don't understand. It was the only way..."

Moments later, they stop talking and their hands fall away, releasing you. Without a pause, you jump away, ignoring the assailant's yell to wait, and you run.

The yells turn into wordless screams. You run and you don't look back.

Once at home, you can't stop shaking. Deciding that you can't handle anything else that night, you just change into pajamas and go straight to bed.

*****

The next day, you wake up late from a dreamless sleep and have to rush to get to work on time. Without really looking, you grab a shirt and toss on yesterday's pants and fly out the door, barely making it to work and clocking in.

"Wow, you look like hell," says Adrian. "You feeling okay?"

You wave off his concern. "I'm good, rough night is all. I'll be fine."

"If you say so." Rose doesn't look like she believes you, but lets it go.

"Good morning, you three," says Eliane, coming out of her office. Seeing your slightly disheveled appearance, her brow knits together. "Are you okay? I can call someone else to cover your shift if you need to sit out today."

You shake your head stubbornly. "Thank you, Eliane, but I'm fine. I am," you insist, glaring at Adrian's and Rose's skeptical looks. "Don't worry about me."

"Very well. But you let me know if you need to head home early, yes?" Eliane reaches forward to pat your shoulder, but before she can touch you she flinches and quickly draws her hand back. "If you need me I'll be in my office." And she walks away.

"Well, that was weird," mutters Rose.

You shrug and get to work setting up the window displays. Distracting yourself with work seems effective, because you barely think about the previous night.

Eventually you stop to take a lunch break, heading to the mall food court as you always do. When you sit down with your food, you feel something in your pocket for the first time. Reaching in, you pull out a thin iron chain from which a strange wooden pendant dangles. It looks like an evil eye, but instead of shades of blue it's painted black and shades of red.

"What is this…?" you mumble. That attacker must have slipped it in your pocket before letting you go. What were you supposed to do with it, though? You don't want to keep something from someone who grabbed you so forcefully, but their words repeat in your head.

"Don't go to your job anymore, or bad things will happen," you whisper, turning the pendant in your fingers. Something about the necklace made you want to keep it, so you put it back in your pocket to decide on it later.

Once your break was over and you were back at work, you noticed that Eliane was avoiding you. Usually, when she would come around and see how things were going, she would greet everyone and chat a bit. This time, she merely gave you a small smile and barely said anything before heading back into her office.

"Is the manager acting weird, or is it just me?"

You shake your head. "It's not just you, Adrian. I don't really know what's up, though."

"If it means that Eliane isn't gonna ask us to do extra work, then I really don't mind," Rose comments.

"You would say that," you chuckle.

The rest of the day passes by rather uneventfully, and before long you're on your way home. You clutch onto the necklace in one hand and your keys in the other. They keys hadn't been much help, but they were still comforting. And the necklace made you feel calm, somehow.

You get home without incident, and after that you fall back into a regular routine. Going to work, chatting with your coworkers, relaxing on days you don't work, the cycle repeats. The only change is that Eliane doesn't talk to you as much anymore, and you can't help but wonder if you did something to anger her, but nothing comes to mind.

*****

One cool day, once at work, you leave the necklace in your jacket pocket. It felt weird carrying around a necklace that you weren't wearing anyway.

Eliane stops by to say hello, but instead of passing by, she pauses and stares at you.

"Is...is something wrong?" You tug at your shirt self-consciously.

"Oh, nothing. Work hard today." And she pats your back before heading to her office.

It's the first time she's so much as touched you in weeks, and it takes you a moment to unfreeze and get on with your day.

Rose smirks at you. "I know that the manager is pretty and all, but could you be any more obvious?"

"Hey, leave 'em alone." Adrian bumps your shoulder as he walks past you. "You'll interrupt the wedding planning that's clearly going on."

You groan, frowning at them both. "I'm gonna get her to assign me a shift with people who won't endlessly tease me."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop." Before you can thank her, Rose adds, "I'll stop if I get to be the bridesmaid."

You roll your eyes and ignore her for only about ten minutes, because then you remember that you actually have to communicate to work together.

Later on, coming back into the store from your lunch break, you notice Eliane by the coat racks, fiddling with her coat.

"What's up? Do you need something?" You ask curiously. Eliane jumps and spins to face you.

"No, just getting something from my coat," she says. "Anyway, since you're back, can you tell Rose to go take her break?"

"Sure."

At the end of the day, as you head home, you realize your jacket pocket is a bit lighter than expected. You feel around. The necklace isn't there anymore.

"Ugh, maybe I left it at work?" You mumble. But it's far too late to go back and get it now; the mall is surely closed and it's dark outside as well. Unsure about whether to feel relieved or worried about losing the strange necklace, you just shrug and head back home.

During the week, you secretly try to look around the store for your necklace. You don't find it anywhere and eventually give up the search. Eliane is much more friendly now as well, so eventually you end up forgetting about it entirely anyway.

*****

That Friday as you stand by the registers, Adrian pokes you in the side. "Let's hang out, you two."

Rose leans against you, chin resting on your shoulder to peer over at him. "Aren't we technically hanging out right now?"

He reaches over to flick her forehead. "You know what I mean. Wanna get brunch or watch a movie or something?"

"Sure, why not?" You think for a moment. "There are some new movies in the cinema on the top floor. Or we could do something outside the mall?"

"Honestly, I'd rather do something outside the place where we work," says Rose.

The three of you make plans to meet up during the weekend, to take a bit of a roadtrip to an area of the city that you don't often go to. That weekend flies by as the three of you spend the whole time in each other’s company, just hanging out and having a good time. After that weekend, the three of you grow ever closer and start spending more time outside work together. Sometimes after work, instead of heading right home, you and Adrian hop in Rose’s car and crash at her place. Within a few months, you have designated Rose’s place as the best place for movie nights and hangouts, and she likes to complain about how often you two stay over, but you know it’s use her way of showing affection.

With your attention on your friends both in and out of work, you don’t really think about Eliane as much. In fact, you haven’t had any weird dreams or felt like you’ve been followed for a long time now, and you feel really good about how things are going.

On one early Monday, you and Rose are giggling about some silly joke Adrian told you over the weekend as you set up the store. Eliane passes by with a greeting and pauses next to you.

“What’s so funny, girls?” She asks curiously, and you and Rose exchange an awkward glance.

“It’s just a dumb inside joke,” explains Rose.

“Yeah, Adrian could probably tell you about it best,” you say just as he walks by.

He groans. “Give me a break. You’re still laughing about it? I said that like two days ago.”

“You three have been getting close lately,” says Eliane, her smile looking a bit strained.

“You could say that,” you respond cheerfully.

“Maybe a bit too close,” Rose grumbles good-naturedly. “You guys should just start paying rent if you’re going to stay at my place so often.”

“Yeah, yeah, landlady. How about a friend discount?” Adrian suggests.

The three of you continue to chat as you work, and Eliane just walks away with a wave. Momentarily you feel a bit bad because she probably feels left out, but then Adrian distracts you with a poke.

“What, do you want the manager to join us over the weekend?”

You shudder. “That would feel too weird, no thanks.”

“Might be a good idea. Maybe we could help set them up?”

“Rose, don’t you start,” you say with a glare, just knowing that if they keep on about it, you won’t hear the end of it for the rest of the day.

And you’re right, they spend most of the day talking about your obvious little crush, and you can’t do anything but hope that Eliane can’t hear them. As payback for their incessant teasing, you refuse to go to Rose’s place, instead walking alone back to your own apartment despite their complaints.

*****

Days later, you settle down to sleep in your apartment, feeling relaxed.

You open your eyes, seeing your bedroom through an orange haze. Smelling cinnamon and honey, you look to the window to see the dream woman from before standing there.

You instantly shrink away, gathering the blankets around you for safety. You know it's a dream, but you can't help it. She smiles a little sadly and sits on the far end of the bed, extending a hand to you. Realizing that her long, sharp nails aren't exactly appealing, she actually draws them in like a cat retracting its claws until they're much shorter. Her flaming hair extinguishes, replaced by the long strands of silvery gray ash.

"Come to me," she says, her distorted voice resonating throughout your mind. It is enthralling, and maybe the most beautiful sound you've ever heard. “I do not wish to be apart from you anymore. I will never harm you. I swear I will protect you.”

As she speaks, you slowly push the blankets down back onto your bed. You're drawn in by that voice, by her hypnotizing red-eyed stare. You start to crawl towards her, wanting to feel her skin against yours.

The woman starts to smile genuinely, revealing those fangs that don't deter you anymore. "Yes, that's it, sweet thing. Come here...I love you."

Those three words pass her lips and you freeze, your hand just inches from hers. Something doesn't feel right - do you actually want this? You withdraw your hand and her face falls. It breaks your heart to see such a sorrowful expression on her face, but you continue to back away, wrapping the blankets around yourself once more.

She drops her hand to the bed. "Is this your answer?"

Wordlessly, you nod.

"Very well."

Her hair sparks back into flame and her lovely features contort into a grimace. You tremble, wondering if she'd incinerate you or maybe tear you to shreds, but instead she jumps off the bed.

"Farewell for now..."

You wake with a start, realizing that you're clutching your sheets the same way you were in the dream. You shiver, not liking the "for now" added to the end of her last statement, and it's impossible for you to just fall back asleep. You woke up in a cold sweat, your fingers are now sore from squeezing the sheets, and you can feel a headache coming on.

Giving up on sleep entirely, you pick up your phone on an impulse. It's just past midnight, and you'd only fallen asleep an hour or two ago. You wished you could simply sleep off the weird feeling crawling up your spine, but maybe someone could help take your mind off it.

You call Rose, and she picks up pretty quickly.

"Hey, what's up? I thought you liked to go to sleep earlier than this."

"I-I do." You can't keep the tremor from your voice.

"Something wrong? You can tell me."

But how would you possibly describe a creepy monster dream lady that's haunting you and won't leave you alone? You go for something much more believable. "I didn't tell you guys, but I have a stalker that's been after me for a while. I tried so hard to make sure that person doesn't find out where I live, but I think they have, and I don't know what to do..."

All you hear in her voice is concern. "Oh my god, that's crazy...have you called the police?"

"I'm afraid that if I do, that person will just run away and come back when they're gone."

"Okay, I get that. Hmm...how do you feel about a sleepover?"

"What?"

"Yeah, a sleepover!" Rose's voice rises with her excitement. "I can come get you and bring you over to my place, so that you won't be alone. I can call Adrian too and we can just hang out!"

"That sounds great," you chuckle. "You sound so thrilled, like we didn't just have an entire shift together today. And yesterday. And nearly every day for months now."

"Hush, you. Is it a crime to be happy about hanging out with my friends? Especially if it means helping one of them. Hang on, I'll be there in a bit."

True to her word, Rose is outside your place in less than twenty minutes, loudly honking her horn. Grabbing a small bag with clothes and essentials, you lock your door and rush out to meet her, slipping into the passenger seat.

"Rose, with all that honking you probably woke the entire neighborhood!"

"Whatever. Maybe I also scared away that stalker person." She sounds so earnest that it pains you to have lied to her, but you really couldn't see yourself telling her the whole truth.

After stopping to pick up Adrian, the three of you head to Rose's place.

"Even though it's not the most fun way to meet up, I still can’t wait to marathon some shows with you two," Rose gushes as she drives. "And since it's the weekend, we can have a sleepover the whole time!"

"Rose, you are way too excited." Adrian rolls his eyes, but can't hide a smile. "It's as if the three of us didn't work a whole shift today. Like we haven't been working together for ages now."

She groans. "Ugh, why do you both have to be such downers? Let me have this."

Once inside Rose's apartment, you and Adrian still can't help joking around with Rose until she throws up her hands in mock frustration.

"If that's how you two are gonna be, I might as well drown my sorrows in snacks," she complains, heading to her kitchen.

You and Adrian share a laugh, plopping down on Rose's couch side by side.

"So Rose told me about your stalker situation," he says.

You sigh, nodding. "Not very fun. At least it's an excuse to be with you guys this weekend."

"True, yeah." Adrian lowers his voice, his usual lighthearted tone going dark. "Listen, if you need me to find this stalker and beat them up until they leave you alone, I'll do it."

Your eyes fly wide open and you stare at him. "Adrian! What're you talking about?"

"I'm serious. Anyone who messes with my friends and scares them like this deserves to be knocked down a peg or two. And sometimes the physical way is the only way."

"Adrian, no." Rose, setting down a tray of snacks and drinks, crosses her arms and stares down Adrian. "While I think your heart's in the right place, there's no way either of us would be okay with you doing something so incredibly stupid and risking your life. Right?" She glances at you and you frantically nod.

"I really appreciate it but I'd rather no one get hurt."

Adrian shakes his head. "You are way too nice, but have it your way."

"Anyway!" Rose claps her hands, getting your attention. "I have tons of movies we can watch until we fall asleep."

"Sounds good."

Curled up between your friends on the couch, you barely make it through half of one movie before you fall asleep. When you wake up the next morning, you don't remember anything about it or even what movie it was, but it doesn't really matter. What matters is that you're wrapped in a blanket you don't remember picking up, and you're so comfortable. Rose's head is resting on your shoulder as she quietly snores, and Adrian is poking around in the kitchen. When he sees that you're awake, he grins and holds a finger to his lips. You smile back and rest your cheek on the top of Rose's head, shutting your eyes for just a little longer.

You spend a relaxing morning having breakfast with your friends and talking idly. You can almost forget about your dreams, but then the fireplace sparks to life out of nowhere. The tall flames remind you of the monster woman’s hair.

You jump in your seat, spilling orange juice on the table. “Oh, I-I’m sorry,” you mumble. “Guess I’m more on edge than I thought.”

“Don’t worry.” Rose says sympathetically. “That’s just a fake fireplace, sometimes it starts up on its own. It’s okay.”

“No, no, I feel bad. Hang on, I’ll get paper towels.” And you get up and head into the kitchen, taking some dirty plates with you. The second you’re in there, you can hear Rose and Adrian muttering to each other and sigh, thinking it’s probably about how jumpy you are now.

Placing the plates in the sink, you fill it with soapy water and take some deep breaths to calm down. You stare down into the water, expecting to see soap bubbles.

You don’t expect to see the monster woman’s face, staring back up at you.

Blinking rapidly, you shake your head and look again. There’s nothing there.

“God, am I going crazy?” You grumble, rubbing your eyes and looking out through the kitchen window.

The monster woman is right outside, grinning toothily at you.

With a scream, you lurch backwards, falling to the floor.

The monster woman winks at you, amused.

“What’s wrong?” Rose and Adrian rush into the room, picking you up.

“The-the-the…” You can barely string words together, terrified as you are. “The stalker, they’re here—”

You point to the window, but all you can see are tree branches waving in the wind.

“…This is the third floor,” Rose reminds you gently.

“I know that, but I swear I saw them,” you say, growing frustrated. Now they probably thought you were going insane too. “I…”

“I believe you.” Adrian rubs a comforting hand across your back. “Whether or not you imagined it, the reality is that the stalker has you freaked out. How about we get out of here?”

You blink up at him. “What?” Sure, this apartment no longer felt safe and you wanted to leave, but wasn’t it an inconvenience for them?

“Road trip!” Rose is already waving her car keys at you. “Let’s go for a drive.”

*****

"You guys don't have to do all this for me," you repeat for what feels like the millionth time.

And for the millionth time, Rose replies, "Don't worry about it, okay? What kind of garbage friends would we be if we just let you feel scared this whole time?"

"Just in case you wanted to know, my offer to confront and beat up your stalker is still on the table," says Adrian from the back.

"No, Adrian," you and Rose say instantly. You both exchange a glance and end up cracking up.

"Trust you two to bond over something like that," grumbles Adrian, trying and failing to hide his own laughter.

Rose teases him and you listen to their silly banter, smile not leaving your face. So good to have people on your side, that listen to you and take care of you. The foggy, overcast morning weather doesn’t affect your mood at all.

As she drives, Rose squints at something down the road. "Do you guys see that?" she asks.

"See what?" You stare through the windshield, not seeing anything out of the ordinary.

"Could've sworn I saw a deer," she mutters. "Well, if it's off the road I guess it doesn't matter. Music, anyone?" She looks to the radio, one hand turning the dial to find a good station.

The second Rose's eyes are off the road, you see it. The deer, standing completely still in the glow of the headlights.

"Rose, look out—"

She looks up and yells, yanking the steering wheel to make a hard left turn. As she does, you swear that the deer's eyes follow you.

All three of you scream as the car practically flies off the road, crashing right through a railing and going straight into a huge tree by the side of the forest. Airbags deploy just in time to prevent you from slamming into the windshield.

Shaken, you call out for your friends but don't hear an answer. You manage to get to the door handle on your side, falling out of the totaled car just as it suddenly bursts into flames.

"What…?" You simply stare at the fiery wreckage for a moment, utterly at a loss, before gathering your frazzled thoughts together. Stumbling to the back car door, you wrench it open and try to drag Adrian's limp body out of his seat.

"Stop, stop," he wheezes. "My leg...it's stuck." He gestures, indicating the leg that is trapped underneath part of the caved in car roof. "Go...get Rose. Please."

You nod and, after trying to make him a bit comfortable in his seat, run over to the driver's side. It looks even worse, with the window cracked open and streaked with blood and one of her hands poking out through the hole.

Tears streaming down your face, partly from the sting of the thick smoke, you open the driver door and Rose falls out of her seat. The airbag had deployed, yes, but it didn't protect her from pieces of glass. Pieces of the window had broken and stabbed her in multiple places. You try to stop trembling long enough to get her pulse. You don't feel anything at her wrist.

"This is all my fault," you choke out. "I'm so sorry."

With a sob, you lay Rose's body down on the forest floor and go back to check on Adrian.

"Adrian, Rose is gone, and I'm so sor—"

You stop in your tracks.

The sight before you is unmistakable, even through the gloomy fog. The woman that you've only seen in hazy orange-tinted dreams is leaning over Adrian's unmoving body. Her copper leg glints in the light from the flames that match those erupting from her head. Blood drips from the open car door, pooling in the grass.

She turns to you, giving you a bloody grin. You can see her clearly now and despite your pain, your jaw drops.

"Eliane…?"

This shock proves to be too much for you, and you rapidly lose consciousness.

*****

You wake up in your own bed, feeling sore all over. You've got a pounding headache and you're not entirely sure why. Sitting up, you rub at your eyes and look around.

Eliane sits at the foot of your bed, watching you fondly. You freeze, uncertain of what to do.

"No need to fear me, dear," she says with a comforting smile. It just makes you shudder. You lean back against the headboard and wrap your blankets around yourself. You're not cold, and yet you can't stop shivering.

Memories of recent events come flooding back. "Oh, no, Rose and Adrian..."

Eliane's face falls dramatically. "I'm afraid they're both gone now. They didn't even have your best interests at heart. Not to worry, though. You have me now." And her expression brightens right back up.

You can only stare at her, wide eyed. What is she talking about? And what about that dream woman?

As if she senses your thoughts, she holds up a finger. Then she stands, twirling in circles. As she does, tongues of flame lick their way up her body. Her skin ripples and changes, one of her legs turns to copper, and her hair gets longer and grayer. When she stops, she doesn't hide her long claw-like nails or her fangs as she sits back down.

"What-what are you?"

"Empusa." The foreign word rolls off her tongue. "A servant of the goddess Hecate. And I have chosen you to be my human."

"Why me..." Your voice is barely above a whisper.

"I was drawn to you, and to your blood," she says with a predatory glint in her eyes. "I've had the blood of many a person, but none smell as sweet as yours. That is why."

Shuddering, you think about her leaning over Adrian's prone form and feel nauseous. "So you're a vampire?"

Eliane throws back her head and laughs. "Many have mistaken me for a vampire, which I suppose isn't very far off. I can shapeshift into more than just a bat, though. My goddess has given me more useful powers."

"Goddess? Vampires?"

"Oh, so many creatures are very much real, darling." She casually runs a hand through silvery hair. "However, I won't allow any of them near you. None of them can have you."

At those words you flinch, shrinking away from her. "Wh-what are you saying?"

Eliane's fangs shine in the moonlight as she comes closer to you. "I'm saying that you're mine. Now and forever. I'll forgive you just this once, but don't ever try to escape from me again..." She lifts a hand, running razor-sharp nails down your cheek. "You'll learn to love me. You'll see."

*****

The next day, you work alongside two new people you haven't met before. Aside from work-related topics, they hardly speak to you, and you notice that the both of them tend to physically stay away from you at all times. Even when you're all side-by-side at the registers, they manage to keep their distance.

Eliane walks by to see how everything's doing, and both of them nod at her and then quickly look back to their work. When she comes to you, she smiles sweetly. You force yourself to smile back. Satisfied, she walks away, not seeing how your hands tremble underneath the table. As she passes you, a scent that used to be so pleasant now paralyzes you. Cinnamon and honey, a little spicy and sickly sweet.

#exophilia #monster girlfriend #empusa #empusa girlfriend #my writing #sfw #mostly #tbh i had a lot of fun writing this #tho it took quite a while #bc i'm bad at horror lmao #anyway #i wanna know if people prefer creepy or romantic?? opinions?#oops almost forgot a tag #mythology

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evesbeve · 5 years ago

Note

~All. Of. Them.~ ☺

99 gay-ish asks

… you know WHAT.

FINE.

I’LL DO ALL OF THEM.

LONG ANSWER UNDER THE TAG, HA V E FUN-

1. how tall are you?

I am 159cm aka 5′3ft!

2. what is your body type?

According to the first Google Image result I got, it’s between “Banana Shape” and “Apple Shape”. I have no idea who came up with these terms. But there you go.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

My nails-

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

My hair is brunette, which is also my natural hair color!

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I’d like to think I’m outgoing, but we all know the truth rip

6. are you more femme or butch?

Depends on the day-

7. are you tol or smol?

I definitely wouldn’t call myself tol, so smol, I guess!

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Sober Mom

9. weird habit?

The door has to be either fully closed or fully open. Don’t fite me on this-

10. favorite meme?

Too many to count, but this is one of my favourites right now-

but also like, most of my faves at the moment are actually memes with pictures of me and my friends XD

11. do you sing in the shower?

Hell yes!!

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

Yep!

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

(Answered here)

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nope, but I’ve seen Aladdin’s counterpart to broadway in London! So it’s like, the exact same thing, but in London XD

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes. Do I think it makes them less enjoyable though? Nope.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

It’s a complicated story, but I have!

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

Gooood, it’s been so long since I’ve played CAH! I have no idea ;;

18. last movie you watched?

I think it was Far From Home!

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

I’m usually the one taking pictures and filming my friends (they better thank me in 10 years) but to be honest, I wish they’d take some more pics of me to look back to too. I do enjoy filming though, so I guess behind!

20. favorite tv show?

Right now, it’s definitely The Umbrella Academy!

21. meaning behind your url

My name is Evelina, and I am online

22. reason you joined tumblr

To follow a project I used to like on YouTube ^^

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

I mean, @clumsinessinperson, @xxwhisperapplexx, @hollsheadcanons and @spinharmony started out as tumblr friends, but now we’ve known each other for more than a year and they’re my best friends in the world ;w;

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Olives. Peas. Crocs.

uPDATE: i READ THAT QUESTION WRONG, I THOUGHT IT SAID THE OPPOSITE, I LOVE ALL THESE THREE THINGS

I do hate BBQ sauce with PASSION though-

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

I mean, only when I got my teeth extracted XD

26. have you had sex?

Nope.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

I’ve never sneaked out before, so nah. My phone caught me on my phone at 5am once, does that count?

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

(Answered here)

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

The ocean’s waves clash at the coast. They drown in themselves. They help the boats move. But sometimes, the ocean is quiet.

30. describe your best friend.

Nearly impossible to describe a 100 people in one sentence, but none of them have braincells.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

NOT AGAIN, ANSWERED HERE.

32. how do you feel right now?

Energetic!!

33. what is your biggest fear?

Dying

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

(Answered here)

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Honestly, uploading my stories.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

MANY TIMES. But hey, that’s life. And that doesn’t mean that it’ll always disappoint you. Keep trying, everyone!

37. something you fantasize about.

MEETING MY ONLINE FRIENDS IRL ;W;

38. last time you cried and why

This morning because I had a fight with my mom lmao

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

Me.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Sure do *dabs*

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

@xxwhisperapplexx, @clumsinessinperson, @aesthetically-bitching and my other irl fren who doesn’t have tumblr but he is a dumbass!!

42. the last time you felt broken?

SEE 38, RIP (I’m okay now tho, dw!)

43. are you starting to realize anything?

I wanna be a director or a scriptwriter or something!! Just work in the movies!!

44. are you more dominant or more submissive?

Dominant, but I can be just as submissive!

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if I love you?? Why would I date someone I don’t love?

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

Uhhh look, I’m 16, so the same age, lol. And even if I was older, age doesn’t matter as long as it’s not creepy and predatory, you know?

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

I don’t have a crush at the moment, thANK GOD.

48. do you have any kinks?

Bye.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

(Answered here)

50. how can someone win your heart?

Step One: Stan Ben Hargreeves.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Nop. Never confessed-

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Yes.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

No.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

I mean, I wouldn’t trust someone I just met with my life, but I do have faith in people ^^

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

I do not,,, have a crush,,,

56. is confidence cute?

Everything positive is cute.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I don’t like someone right now but if it were to happen, I wouldn’t say anything? It’s their life.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Everyone makes me laugh. I must hate the person then XD

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH AAAAA

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Yes, like a bazillion times.

61. do you want to get married

I’m open to it!

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Honestly, I was trying to think of a serious answer, I PROMISE, but then I remembered that when I was little my parents had pissed me off so badly, and I quoted a Barbie movie that said “You’re ruining my life!” like an angry toddler.

Then they threatened to never let me watch Barbie again because it was a bad influence, anD I MEAN. It was what it was XD

Note: They never banned Barbie.

63. three things that turn you on.

How did you know I was an android.

64. who do you hate?

Hate is a strong word, lmao.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Unironically, it’s “boo” XD

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

I WAS WONDERING IF THERE WAS A QUESTION LIKE THAT, honestly I do not remember. Probably someone from Winx.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both are valid.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

I don’t look, they hit me in the head.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

All. All the girls.

70. are you good at flirting?

Yes, actually XD

71. who was the first person you came out to?

Probably @aesthetically-bitching, I think!

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

yeet

73. is your crush wlw?

don’t have a crush, but used to-

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

I have no idea, I’ve known I was bi since 6th grade.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

Not all the steps you walked on are stableBut that’s okayReaching the top requires a few

76. do you fall in love easily?

I’ve only fallen like in love twice. Crushes are way different, and I’d say kinda…?

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yeah. But I hate talking about it.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep. If you notice I’m sad, I want you to notice I’m sad.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Mhm!

80. what is your “type?”

Ironically, Eudora Patch from The Umbrella Academy is a very good depiction of my type. (Note: Personality wise. Looks genuinely don’t matter to me, everyone is BEAUTIFUL.)

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

I am a little spoon inside and out-

82. tall girls or short girls?

Doesn’t matter-

83. hugs or kisses?

Hugs!! kisses kinda make me uncomfortable most of the time to be honest

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

b O T H

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

Tummy-

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Hairline,,,

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair!!

88. making out or soft kisses?

Soft kisses, definitely. Not that I’ve kissed anyone before, but oh well XD

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Neck…? I’d say neck.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

It took me a while, but I am very confident in it right now!

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies™

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

I have, and I told them absolutely nothing

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

*shrugs* young XD

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

All girls are cute girls. So many things.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

THIS QUESTION IS STRESSING ME OUT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO CHOOSE. Honestly, Alphys and Undyne are a hard one to top, aND ALSO CANON

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“You’re just confused.”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

… I don’t know what to tell you.

98. what is love to you?

Love is complicated.

To me, it’s not about having a partner. Actually, loving someone regardless of romantic feelings is way more important, in my opinion. These things can co-exist, and loving a friend is just as important loving a lover.

The lack of it can hurt, especially being forced out of it. But feeling love? I don’t know. It’s one of the most beautiful feelings ever. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by it.

I really love this article on it! It’s about the 8 types of love the ancient greeks had, and as I greek person myself, I think highly of it. I highly recommend reading it!

99. ask me anything. (bUt since no one specified, I’ll ask myself: Why do this and what did I learn from this?)

I did this because I am stubborn. Also I genuinely liked the questions XD

What I learned from this experience is that I really love answering questions, oops-

If you made it this far, I don’t know what to tell you. You deserve a golden star, my dude.

ANYWAY, NEVER AGAIN.

#evelina nonesense #anon #ask #gayish asks #i can't believe i did this

8 notes · View notes

written-seoks · 6 years ago

Text

and that’s why i got all the power

BTS | Yoongi/Jungkook | College Swim AU | Mature

find this on ao3 here

Jungkook has looked up to Yoongi and Namjoon since his sophomore year in high school, when Yoongi and Namjoon were just entering their freshman year of college. So when Jungkook gets signed on to that same college in his senior year, he’s almost too nervous to swim properly. So Yoongi helps him out.

It's Yoongi that finds him in the blessed empty locker room (a rarity) after his disaster of a 100 IM.

He almost missed his event, and then had gained so much time that he had been last in his heat of 8. Everything that could go wrong, had gone wrong. He had dragged himself out of the water, breathing heavy. He had snatched his towel and sweatpants that he left on the staging chair and walked to the locker room, not meeting anyone's eyes . One of the other swimmers in his heat had bumped into him with his shoulder and had said, “This isn’t high school, kid.” With so much venom Jungkook stood still for a moment before running off. He'd almost tripped twice on his way to the locker room, ignoring Coach Jordan’s yell. He's annoyed and disappointed in himself. Even Jordan’s comforting confidence couldn’t help him now. He's frustrated himself almost to tears by the time Yoongi finds him, sitting on one of the benches.

Jungkook’s frustration only worsens when Yoongi shows him the finals' heat sheet. Thick eyebrows furrowed under blonde hair, fuming a little at Jungkook.

“Your time made the finals, but only by a hair; you’re number ten.” Fuck. Swim meets have Prelims and then, depending on the meet, finals either that evening or the next day. Only the top 10 in an event make it to the finals - although a swimmer can ‘scratch’ themselves out, so someone who was number 11 will become number 10 or even 9 because someone above them has scratched as well . That meant that Jungkook was safe as number 10. He might even move up to number 9. Yet, it meant that his swim in the finals would have to be a lot better than that abysmal time he went if he wants to place in top 5 .

“Hyung- I -” Jungkook, hyped up on adrenaline and nervousness, can’t string two words together. Instead, he frowns and looks down, frustrated with himself. He’s in college now, he shouldn’t have this problem anymore!

Yoongi studies him, tone softening, “What happened out there anyways? You looked, no offense, like a drowning cat.” He places a water-wrinkled hand on his shoulder.

Jungkook stares down at the damp sweatpants he had pulled on after his event before he had dried off, brain still not working right . He thumbs at the university logo stamped on his thigh. “I- I dunno. I dunno, hyung. I just got so, in my head? I guess?”

"Yeah, I could tell.” Yoongi scoffs. “You were shaking like a leaf when it was, like, event 2.” The men's 100 IM was event 10. Jungkook feels his cheeks heat with warmth at being so emotionallyunstable. He's a seasoned swimmer! He swam for 4 years in high school! Why is he acting like summer league kid at their first club meet? “I didn't want to say anything because you, uh, needed to go through that? I mean -” Yoongi looks like he's trying to backtrack. He sighs and pushes Jungkook further into the locker room by the chest, behind a divide to afford them some privacy . There's a mirror on their left that shows Jungkook’s swollen, red eyes when he glances into it.

Yoongi crowds him into the corner. “Jungkook-ah. We all went through this - I went through it when it was my first college meet, so did Namjoon. I clammed up before my first meet as well, I didn't say a word the whole way there. I even started shaking before the 200 Free. Namjoon was worse - he snapped all his caps before his race and then got disqualified on his turn." Yoongi laughs and places his hands on Jungkook's shoulders, looking him in the eye. "I have faith in you to turn this around Jungkook-ah."

Jungkook melts, he smiles helplessly at Yoongi. His shoulders slump and he lets Yoongi draw him in for a mind numbingly-good hug. He finally relaxes. Yoongi, his idol, someone he aspires to be like, has faith in him. He puts his arms around Yoongi and tugs him in closer, taking comfort in the warmth of his hyung.

He kills it in the 100 IM finals at that meet. He comes out first and jumps out of the pool, right into Yoongi's smiling, proud arms. He's absurdly happy. He even went a personal best. "Thanks, hyung," he whispers into Yoongi's shoulder.

Jungkook doesn't start to have problems again until it's January. State championships are coming up and he's terrified.

Not to mention the other big problem he's terrified about, the one that he started having around December, right before winter break . Right before Yoongi went back home for break. Right when Jungkook realized that he had a crush on Yoongi. Which was especially a problem because Jungkook spent two hours with him twice a day. And spend half an hour with him twice a day while they were both somewhat or fully naked in the locker room. And listen - Jungkook got used to locker room nudity quick, it's normal for swimmers and it's never been a problem before . But it's a little bit of a bigger problem when that nude person is your biggest crush since freshman year in high school .

Jungkook feels a little bit like a creep when he's talking with the other members in the locker room and he catches a glimpse of Yoongi changing, still covered with a towel . Even though Jackson is stark fucking naked next to him, chatting about his final in his psychology class . It's just... something swimmers get used to. Casual half-nudity, casual, accidental groping during practice.

But Jungkook cannot get used to seeing Yoongi pull himself out of the water after practice like a goddamn Greek god, slick with water, bangs in his eyes after he pulls off his cap .

His crush on Yoongi is terrifying. Yoongi is very close to JB, the senior captain who'll be graduating this year. And Yoongi is very, very close with Namjoon, who no one doubts will be captain next year. His crush on Yoongi could get him kicked off the team. With the stress of freshman year bearing down on him, swimming is his only comfort right now. And all that could change if someone found out about his crush on Yoongi. So he keeps quiet. Stops going to team outings when Yoongi is there. Avoids him during meets. Jungkook hopes that his crush will fade and he'll be able to be a normal friend to Yoongi.

Except that when they come back from winter break and Yoongi shows up at practice, Jungkook's crush comes back 10 times worse .

Fuck.

He can only hope that Yoongi hasn't noticed his weird behavior.

Yoongi has definitely Jungkook's weird behavior. He keeps trying to corner him after practice or when they see each other in the varsity room. Namjoon has even pulled Jungkook aside and asked him what is going on. Because his Crush on Yoongi is starting to affect swim and school and his social life. He'll drift off in practice and miss the set because Yoongi's laughing at something JB has said and he looks so good. He'll drift off in class because he's thinking of Yoongi. He's starting to become detached from the team because he's stopped hanging out with them. Because Yoongi is usually there.

Yoongi finally corners him in the varsity room. Everyone is trickling out to get an early night for their meet tomorrow morning. Jungkook, curled up on their soft couch in the corner, is tiredafter practice and a test and a long Overwatch session last night . He's running himself into the ground with swim and studying and gaming because any spare moment he has is spent thinking about Yoongi .

So, he's innocently curled up on the corner of the couch in a fetal position, legs curled to his chest when Yoongi approaches him .

Jungkook rises out of sleep when Yoongi sits next to his head and dips the couch towards him. "Gukkie - hey, wake up -" Yoongi shakes his shoulder, rubbing his back. Jungkook groans at the soothing stimulation. "Open your eyes, b- buddy." Jungkook snuffles and parts his eyes a little. "Come on, wake up." Yoongi hums and shakes his shoulder a little more, harder this time.

"Mmmm, yeah." Jungkook sighs, body responding tiredly . He rubs his eyes with his fists, yawning as he uncurls and sits up. Yoongi smiles sweetly at him as he lifts and, oh shit, he's so beautiful. Jungkook has to admit that in his sleepy haze, he hadn't realized that it had been Yoongi waking him up. And, as he's waking up, he realizes that there is no one else in the room. It's him and Yoongi. Alone. And Yoongi is giving him a look.

"Um... what's up, hyung?" Jungkook's voice is still slurred with sleep and his brain isn't working, but anyone could recognize that this is not going to be a normal conversation . It's also not going to be a conversation that Jungkook will enjoy. He can imagine how this will go, Yoongi's a nice guy so he'll be gentle but it's still going to break Jungkook's heart when he's rejected . Yoongi will say something about how Jungkook's a good guy and an okay swimmer, but it's too creepy to be on the same swim team with a gay guy that has a crush on him so if he could please get his stuff and get the fuck out, that'd be great, please never speak to him again .

"Jungkook-ah. Gukkie, are you listening to me?"

"Sorry, hyung, what was that?" Jungkook doesn't meet Yoongi's eyes.

"I said that I know you've been avoiding me. I - Well, I mean, you've been absent from the team hangouts and this is the first time I've seen you in the varsity room for weeks. I know that you were busy with school, maybe , but last semester you still made time for the team and, like, usually me 'n Namjoon would see you around separately from the team anyways but Namjoon tells me that he's been seeing you around, so I guess it's just me you've been avoiding . So, I'm sorry, if I did anything? Or if I make you uncomfortable -"

Jungkook stares at him in shock.

"What? Hyung, no - " But Yoongi keeps talking over him.

"I mean, I know that some people are uncomfortable with, like, gay people, and I guess us sharing a locker room probably doesn't help at all . I just mean, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable and I, uh, wanted to ask you not to tell coach or any of the other guys because they'd kick me off the team ." Yoongi pauses his word vomit to sniffle and Jungkook's gaze snaps up to see Yoongi's eyes are wet. "I get it if you don't want to hang out with me anymore, and I appreciate you, um, not telling anyone - "

"Hyung, shut the fuck up for a minute." Jungkook puts a hand on Yoongi's shoulder and pauses to parse the information Yoongi piled on him. "You're gay?"

Yoongi jerks back, "You didn't know? I thought you knew? I thought that was why you were avoiding me because you heard I broke up with Jinyoung, you and JB hang out so I figured he must have told you... JB was kinda pissed," he blurts out. After a pause his eyes widen, "Shit, fuck, sorry I dumped all that on you then, I - wait, then why were you avoiding me?"

Jungkook recognizes the deflection and tries to deflect back, "Uh, I've just been, um -" He should tell Yoongi. He shouldn't tell Yoongi. Should he tell him? Yes. No. Fuck.

Yoongi frowns at the silence that hangs between them and then sighs, "You don't have to tell me." He nods to himself, expression distant, "I'm sorry for waking you up." He brushes Jungkook's hands off of his shoulders.

Jungkook sees his chance slip away. "Wait! Hyung, I- I'm -" He chokes on his tongue, Yoongi glances back at him, eyes still a little bit red from earlier. Jungkook tries to take a deep breath and coughs, chest burning. Yoongi's blank expression fades away and he looks concerned. Well, that's good, at least Yoongi kind of cares about him. "I'm - I'm gay too, hyung. Well, more like, um, bisexual, but I guess I identify more with the gay community because it's larger and more recognized- " He rambles almost unintelligibly .

Yoongi's face breaks out into a smile and he laughs once. "God, you sound like Namjoon, Kook."

It's the last meet before state, but Jungkook isn't worried. He's made state times in almost all his races two times over, he only has to worry about the specific invitational and junior nationals cuts coming up .

So why is he so jittery? He’s gonna slip and crack his head on the tile at this rate. He’s talked to Coach Jordan twice over and more and has warmed up as much as he should - even a little more than he should. He’s pacing around behind his block, headphones blasting but mind distracted.

It’s event 2.

He’s event 26.

Is it because Yoongi gave him a smile and a pat on the back? Is it because Yoongi is swimming and he’s been working on his back and bicep muscles? His deltoids are delectable and all Jungkook wants to do is bite into them…

Yoongi finally gets done with his 100 Backstroke with a fantastic 52.5 only to find a jittery and frustrated Jungkook waiting for him . So he takes matters into his own hands.

By dragging Jungkook into the locker room and pulling him into the back, behind a wall or two of lockers and around the corner .

“Jungkook-ah - I’m, I wanna help you calm down, hm? Will you let hyung take care of you?” Yoongi presses him further into the tile wall and noses into the crook of Jungkook’s neck, taking a deep breath of chlorine .

Well, this is... unexpected, to say the least.

Jungkook moans, riled up with adrenaline still coursing through his body from his race . “Yes, hyungie, please - please.” His hands grip at Yoongi's shoulders, digging in. He's trying not to grip hard enough to leave a bruise, but it's so hard when Yoongi's so close and all Jungkook wants is him to be closer .

“Gukkie - baby, you’re gonna have to quiet down, hm? Can’t you be quiet for hyung? We don’t want anyone hearing us, do we?” Jungkook bites down on the whine that wants to escape as Yoongi slowly presses kisses into his collarbone and along his deltoid . Yoongi's hands slip on the water covering his body, reaching his hips and then his ass, groping him over his swimsuit .

God, Yoongi's making it hard to keep quiet, but he can hear the roar of the water as races take place outside the locker room, reminding him of the chance that anyone could walk in . Namjoon could walk in looking for them - fuck - swimmers from the other university could come in to change or shower. Yoongi smiles into his shoulder when Jungkook can't hold back a groan at the feeling on Yoongi's long, perfect fingers pressing along the line of his thighs . "Come on, you can be a good boy for hyung. Don't you want to be a quiet little slut for me? hm?"

Jungkook can only dip his head to Yoongi's shoulder and nod frantically - "Wanna - ah - wanna be good for you hyung." Jungkook lets his hands fall to the small of Yoongi's back, trapping him against Jungkook's body . Yoongi bites Jungkook's shoulder at the feeling of their hips colliding. "Hyung, Yoongi-hyung, can't - don't leave any marks -"

Yoongi hums, biting him again on his chest, "I know, baby, but you're just so - so tasty ."

Jungkook giggles, "Yoongi-hyung, I - ha - I'm not tasty!"

Yoongi shakes his head, "You're a snack, baby." He blows a raspberry on his upper stomach. Making Jungkook giggle even more.

"Shut up, Hyung! I'm not a snack!"

“Mmm, but you are, sweetheart.” Oh, how Jungkook’s weak heart quivered at the pet name - “You’re so sweet, I could eat you up. And you’d let me, wouldn’t you, honey. Would you like that?” The mood has almost given Jungkook whiplash because of how fast it had changed.

Jungkook’s moan at this reverberated throughout the locker room. Yoongi frowns dramatically , “Aw, sweetheart, you’ve gotta quiet down or hyung won’t give you what you want.” He reached up to pet Jungkook on the head as if he were a dog - “Be a good little boy for me and I’ll touch you as much as you want.” Jungkook’s knees become numb, become jelly, become air.

He collapsed into his hyung's arms and nodded, moaning at some silly little words. Who knew words could reduce him to such a mess?

“That’s not being quiet, baby. Do you need hyung to shut you up before he takes care of you?” The condescending questions Yoongi asked him added to the fog in his brain and daze in his eyes. Jungkook nods, kind of unsure what Yoongi was going to do… but, in his heart Jungkook trusts him. Then Yoongi takes a sharp turn into unknown territory by stuffing his silicone cap into Jungkook’s mouth .

It takes Jungkook a moment to breathe through his nose, but by then Yoongi is on his knees and he finds that breathing isn’t so important anymore .

He wins the event. He went a 19.10 second 50 FR. He went a personal best. Fuck.

His teammates crowd around him when he steps out, ignoring the other racers getting ready for the 50 BR. Yoongi is right there, grinning, satisfied. “Glad I could help, kid.” He mumbles into Jungkook’s ear, pulling him into a tight hug. It’s then that Jungkook quickly realizes that he’s wet and almost overheating. He almost collapses into Yoongi’s arms. “Go on Guk, go sit down and dry off. Joonie and Jackson have been coming up with inspiring quotes to write on people.”

Jungkook just stares at Yoongi for a moment, starstruck. “Okay, hyung. Um- Than-”

Yoongi pushes him off with a shoulder pat, “We’ll talk later, rest for your 50 FL okay?” SuddenlyJungkook is glad he didn’t sign up for the 50 BR this week. He’s not sure he could recover from having Yoongi go down on him and then doing a 19.27 second 50 FR in time for the 50 BR.

Anyways.

Through some careful scheming, Jungkook and Yoongi end up on the bus together. By careful scheming, Jungkook means that Jungkook had forgotten his deck shoes and Yoongi had been chatting with a senior from the other team so they were the last ones on the bus . So by the time they had gotten on, everyone else had already settled down for the long trip home. Sitting side by side, silent, while the rest of their teammates sleep is a great feeling, Jungkook thinks . What do you say to the hyung who you had big gay feelings for and who sucked your soul out not more than four hours ago?

Nothing, is the answer to that.

It takes two hours for Yoongi to break and start talking.

“Guk? Gukkie, are you awake?” Jungkook grumbles, he had nearly been asleep, but not yet.

“Yea-” He yawns and stretches, almost hitting Yoongi in the face, who lets out a soft oof.“What’s up, hyung?” Jungkook asks, like he doesn’t know what Yoongi wants to talk about. He’s trying to stall and stay in his stable fantasy for as long as possible.

“You know. Listen, I-”

“Ha - Hyung, um, we can forget about it if you want? I’m sorry that I made you take care of me-” Jungkook stumbles, but it’s obvious that Yoongi is Not Impressed. Yoongi puts a hand over Jungkook’s mouth. Childishly , Jungkook considers licking it.

“Shut up for like five minutes, please. Can you do that for hyung, Gukkie?” Jungkook nods, face blank as he can make it. “ Firstly , you didn’t make me take care of you. I wanted to and you let me for some stupid reason. Secondly - Ah fuck-” Yoongi runs a hand over his face - “I don’t think we could forget about something like this anyways. Or at least… I can’t.”

Jungkook finally interrupts, terrified that this is finally it, Yoongi is gonna throw him away - “Hyung - um -” His throat clams up and his lip trembles .

Yoongi gives him a look, “It hasn’t even been two minutes Jungkook. If you want to leave after hearing what I have to say that’s fine but please hear me out. I - uh,” Yoongi sucks in a deep breath and wrings his hands in his lap. “I really , really like you Jungkook. In a gay way.”

Oh. Oh. What the fuckening?

“Hyung- a- are you joking with me? I- that’s not a nuh- nice thing to joke about, hyung -” Jungkook sniffles and rubs a hoodie sleeve over his eyes and nose. It only makes him feel worse.

Yoongi frowns, “No, of course, I’m not joking with you, Jungkook - I didn’t go through almost a semester of pining for this to be a joke . I like you Jungkook.” Yoongi slips under Jungkook’s oversized hood and looks him in the eyes. “ Seriously . No joke, baby.” Jungkook bursts into full-on tears and Yoongi startles, looking around to see if anyone has woken up . Thankfullynot.

Yoongi waits a minute for Jungkook to calm down before curiosity gets the best of him, from Jungkook’s reaction… Well, Yoongi can only hope . “Guk? Do - um - do you like me too?” It seems kind of self-centered to Yoongi’s brain, but he’s gotta know.

Jungkook sniffles and hits Yoongi’s shoulder - “Of course I do! Who couldn’t with your perfect smile and your beautiful hands and your amazing freestyle - ah!” He dissolves into sniffles again after being tugged into an embrace by Yoongi over the elbow rest between their seats .

“I’m glad, Gukkie, I’m glad.” God, Yoongi can feel himself getting emotional as well. Jungkook has made him soft. Oh well.

There’s a whooping call from the back of the bus and they both jump from shock, bumping their heads together before looking around to see - Namjoon and Jackson, grinning like buffoons and yelling . They’re only silenced when Jaebum, in the seat in front of them, slams a well-aimed hand back into Jackson’s face.

Jungkook laughs and leans into Yoongi, "I should return the favor sometime, huh?" Yoongi blushes and falls into tearful giggles against Jungkook. They stay like that for the rest of the ride home.

#seokah #bts #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook #namjoon #yoongi #sugakookie #kookgi #yoonkook #mature #y

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mizcalculate-miztery · 7 years ago

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Thoughts on Anti and Dark

So because of recent events in both fandoms, I started thinking about Dark and Anti, and how I personally view them. Because there’s no denying I love both characters. And everyone always likes to compare them (which is completely understandable), so I started comparing them in my own mind. Comparing how they operate, what I find so terrifying about them, their personalities, basically everything. And I just kinda wanted to get my thoughts about them down on paper (or… document I guess). So here’s some personal thoughts I have about Dark and Anti.

(Prepare for opinions! Also, like I said I love both of these characters. Just because I might say one is stronger than the other, or scarier doesn’t mean I like the other any less. Remember that this is all MY opinion and thoughts! You can agree or disagree with whatever ^_^)

Anti

Ah, the Glitch Bitch. Such a fascinating character, especially of late as Jack continues to flesh him out. We were first introduced to the knife-wielding weirdo last Halloween when he slit Jack’s throat on camera before taking over. Wow. That’s quite the entrance. It’s disturbing and wrong and terrifying. And it’s made even more sinister by the glassy-eyed stare Jack gives the camera as he does it. So with his appearances leading up to and including Halloween, we learned several things about Anti:

1) He’s absolutely ruthless, cruel, and sadistic. He kills Jack for seemingly no reason other than he finds it fun or satisfying in some way.

2) He’s calculated, sneaky, and smart as hell. I know that often times the fandoms portray Anti as the cocky, sloppy, hyper-active, and boisterous newcomer in comparison to Dark (which I agree with to an extent; Dark’s character is based on the fact that he can manipulate those around him into abandoning their beliefs; his character and powers seem based in the psyche and mind as opposed to Anti’s more physical powers), but Anti can be just as tactful and deceptive as Dark. He hid messages in the tags of the videos, he appeared at specific times during gameplay because he wanted to give us hints by highlighting certain words or events.

And in my mind, he leaves hints for us because, again, it’s fun for him. He likes playing little games. Anti enjoys seeing us struggle to connect the dots, and laughs when we figure things out just a little too late, taunting us. He loves the attention we give him and he knows that so long as he keeps leaving a trail of crumbs, we’ll follow it. And that means he has control over us. Humans want closure and completion to any story. And yet, Anti is still an enigma for the most part. We kinda know what he wants, we kinda know his plan. But we’re still not 100% sure of anything! We aren’t even 100% sure of what Anti even is or how his powers work. Is he a demon? A computer virus or glitch? He seems capable of possessing people, travelling in time, and messing with electronics. But who knows what else he can do? All these “maybes” and questions make us want to know more, and so we keep watching (this is very similar to how FNaF became so popular- just enough clues and evidence to keep people interested in learning the entire story). We’re curious about Anti and that’s our ultimate downfall. You know what they say: curiosity killed the Jack.

In many ways, Anti is childish. He’s loud and brash, loves playing games, throws spectacular tantrums, and can often be surprisingly profound. And all of this is great! There’s a reason that creepy, evil children are a horror trope. I also think that this works great in regards to Anti being Jack’s dark persona. Anti and Jack are very similar, not just in terms of looks. Basically everything I said above about Anti being childish can be applied to Jack. But the brilliant part is how, even though Jack and Anti are so similar, they couldn’t be more different. Jack’s sometimes childish behavior is endearing. He’s often cutesy and excited, but can and will whine if something doesn’t go his way. His enthusiasm and energy are what many people enjoy about his content. And then when he gets into a pensive state, he says some really inspiring, and genuine things. Anti is the same way. He’s always teeming with energy, and his manner of speaking is very similar to Jack’s in that they are both a little silly and childish. He isn’t verbose, he’s simple and to the point. “Always watching,” “tired of playing pretend,” “there are no strings on me,” “I wonder what will happen to your favorite boy,” etc. All very simple, something you could absolutely see a child saying. But even despite his common vernacular, what he says can be profound. Just look at all the theories about what he says and how much each line could mean. Anti takes what is good and liked about Jack, and twists it into its worst self.

Let’s get into some of Anti’s symbolism, specifically eyes. Now, Jack has had eyes as a staple of his channel since forever, and Septiceye Sam has been the mascot for as long as I’ve known of Jack. But Anti takes this concept one step further. Not only do his eyes change color constantly, but he’s always been very focused on what eyes do. In his first full appearance, he mocks us for just watching as he took over and eventually killed Jack. He seems very interested in the bystander effect. We were the bystanders who noticed the weird glitches in Jack’s videos leading up to Halloween, but just sat and watched to see what would happen next. We were curious because we thought everything was a game, and that Jack was just doing something nice for the fans who created Anti. And while this is true in reality, it isn’t true in regards to the story that Anti is apart of. Because Anti is part of a story. All of Jack’s Egos are. So is Jack. And so are we.

This is one of the reasons Anti is so cool a character. Because we know he’s a character, and yet he can make things seem so real. Anti’s story has become very much like an ARG like Marble Hornets. Anti openly talks to us so that we become a part of his story. He says things to make us feel as if we can do things to help. He tells us that we’re just sitting here and watching, so we try to retaliate, to do something (ex. #septicsave). But while we may be a character, all we'll ever be to the other characters are a set of eyes. Whenever Anti talks to us, it’s pre-recorded. All we can really do is watch. We can try to do things all we want. In the end, Anti’s already done whatever he’s going to do in his story. He gives us a false sense of power and choice, when we really don’t have any. (Disclaimer: I know that Jack loves theories and suggestions from the community and often takes them into consideration when crafting the story around his characters. Again, in reality, we do have a choice and influence, but so far in the story, we don’t.)

And Anti also knows we’ll never stop watching. He seems to also like the concept of “seeing is believing.” Because the obvious answer to “beating” Anti is to stop watching. But then what? Will he truly lose? How can we know if we don’t watch? Unless we see him lose, who’s to say he didn’t complete his take over, his killing spree, whatever it is he wants? We would have to rely on faith and hope alone. And unfortunately, humans aren’t particularly adept at trusting what they can’t perceive with their senses. So in the end, we watch because we feel as if we have to. And we keep going round and round in circles.

And that’s why I love the concept that’s been floating around recently about how god damn interesting and horrifying the idea of a livestream where Anti tortures Jack is. A deep-web “red room”-esque scenario where the viewers tell Anti what to do to Jack. Not only is that just unsettling in premise, it’s horrifying because some people would actually suggest awful things (because humans are morbidly fascinated by the suffering of others). And again, the only way to stop it would be for everyone to stop watching. And that would never happen. Because if no one’s watching, who knows what Anti would do to Jack? Who's to say he wouldn’t just torture him without us watching? And then there will always be the people who want to see what Anti would do to Jack. So no matter what, Anti wins. And we just sat and watched.

I started writing this entire analysis a few weeks before the charity livestream, but I’m adding it in because holy fuck. Other people who are much more eloquent and concise than I am have already analyzed everything I’m about talk about, but I wanna get my thoughts out.

So. That was a fun time! I can’t even fathom how many people stayed up all night to watch those damn security cameras! I was one of the people who was up all night (I had finals and papers to write so I was up anyway), and I don’t think I saw the stream dip below 6,000 people watching. That’s insane that that many people stayed up for 20+ hours just to see what the hell was going to happen. By the time I fell asleep on Saturday, I had personally been awake for around 41-42 hours, and most of that was due to watching the streams to see what was going to happen. Anti managed to keep us glued to our screens for hours on end, stringing us along with little clips every now and again. And one of the most interesting things is that the majority of the footage wasn’t new content. Only the clips of Emma, Ethan, PJ, and Robin doing their spooky stuff was new. And yet we kept sitting there watching. Just the amount of influence Anti has over us is astounding! Again, a lot of the Overnight Watch stream connects with things I’ve already said. How do we beat Anti? Stop watching. But what if we miss something? So we keep watching. Circles. We sat by as eyes (security cameras) while we saw all this creepy stuff happened. Anti won BIG TIME. He was able to see just what lengths we’re willing to go to just for him.

So now that I’ve beaten how Anti operates into the ground, let’s talk about why he’s scary to me. Because he is. One thing about Anti is that he’s unstable and unpredictable with deadly mood swings. Anything that is unpredictable is nerve wracking because it plays into the fear of the unknown. Like I mentioned before, we aren’t certain about much of what Anti does. We’ve theorized and theorized until our theorizers are sore, but we don’t know much other than the fact that Anti killed Jack, and most likely Schneep. Even Anti’s movement is unpredictable due to his glitches. This is something that really unsettles me because I’m a visual person who likes to be able to keep track of things visually. For example, I’m also rather scared of bugs, but so long as I can see where a bug is, or I’m able to track it going around a room, I don’t freak out about it. But as soon as one buzzes past my ear without me seeing it, I get very startled and flinch HARD. So Anti’s glitching everywhere is also pretty unsettling for me as I can’t predict or track it visually. He also is more than willing to physically harm us as well. That’s another scary thing about Anti. He wields a large fucking carving knife and seems very ready to use it. Everyone has a pain threshold that they don’t want to cross. So Anti is also scary because he gives the very real threat of unbearable pain.

So for me, Anti’s scariness comes from a combination of his unpredictable nature and movement, his enthusiasm for hurting people and his propensity for causing pain. He also tends to have a slow buildup to a reveal. He drops hints for sometimes months at a time before he makes a full appearance. That sense of anticipation is also nerve wracking (it’s the entire basis for the thriller genre). For me, though, it actually makes it less scary because at least there’s some solid hints that something will happen soon. This isn’t to say these are the only reasons he’s scary (after all, he’s also pretty good at playing mind games like I stated before. But the types of mind games he plays don’t scare me; I just find them impressive and clever more than scary). This is just why he’s scary to me.

So that’s a lot of my thoughts on Anti. I think he’s a very cool character and Jack has taken him in a super interesting direction. Plus, the use of medium and the gimmicks and plot points he derives from his medium are a goddamn treat to theorize and write about.

Dark

The monochromatic monarch, the VHS Cunt himself, Darkiplier. Has this guy seen some development this year or what? From a weird emo roomate to a master manipulator, Dark’s Valentine’s Day reintroduction was quite the spectacle that I was not expecting (I mean, up until Mark called the horror show “The Dark Mark”). So, with the retooling of his character, what do we know about Dark now?

1) He’s a master manipulator and just “the worst.” Mark confirmed this during one of the charity livestreams where he discussed “A Date with Markiplier” in detail. He clearly says that Dark wants to use us and he’s not our friend. He will pretend to be anything we want him to be in order to gain our trust before throwing us aside once our usefulness has run out.

2) He’s a being from another dimension who just so happens to bleed into our dimension that does not follow the laws of physics, similar to Warfstache. He and Mark are two different people.

3) Dark is jealous of Mark’s success and accomplishments and wants to take them for himself.

As the year has gone on, we’ve seen that Dark has a rather large plan forming. He’s working with other Egos (especially Warfstache) in order to take control of the channel, as we saw in Markiplier TV (if we assume this is part of the “canon.” I personally do, but I know a lot of people have been questioning it lately).. And then the huge bomb that was “Who Killed Markiplier?” dropped to give us the origins of both Dark and Wilford. And from that, we also now know that Dark’s plan for a takeover is not just a result of jealousy and a lust for power, but also for revenge and retribution.

So in many ways, we know a lot more about Dark than Anti. We have the basic plan, backstory, and motive. But there is still a treasure trove of stuff we don’t know about Dark. We don’t know the total extent of his powers or exactly how they operate, and we don’t know his exact plan. Similarly to Anti, this ambiguity keeps us watching and theorizing.

But, with the reveal of Dark’s backstory, he now has another hook into the viewers that keeps our attention on him and keeps us easy to manipulate: he’s a sympathetic character. To an extent at least. Okay, so we all know he’s a master manipulator, a horrible person, and a villain. But a villain is only a villain in the eyes of someone opposing them. A villain is their own hero. And when you give a perceived villain sympathetic motivation, it can often change the way viewers look at that character. Dark’s motivation is reasonable. Anyone can see that he has reason to be angry. WKM!Mark destroyed the lives of the Colonel, Damien, Celine, the Detective, and the DA. The way Mark framed WKM’s ending, Dark becomes sympathetic. Because of WKM!Mark’s antics, both “halves” of Dark lost everything. Damien had his body snatched and lost both his best friends. Celine also lost her body and lost both of the men she at one point loved. Betrayal and loss of loved ones are two of the most effective ways to drudge up sympathy for a character because at some point, most people have experienced the pain of one or both. In this way, the viewers can now easily view Dark as the “hero” of sorts while Mark becomes the villain.

But giving a villain a sympathetic backstory can be very dangerous because it can give the villain one more way to manipulate the viewer. Mark has gone on record in his “I EXPLAIN EVERYTHING” livestream that Damien and Celine aren’t really their own entities anymore. The dark energy of the House combined the worst parts of them together along with itself to create a new being: Dark. Damien and Celine are no longer in Dark. Not as we knew them, anyway. And yet, I can guarantee you, if Dark ever felt it was needed, he would create projections of Damien and Celine to make it seems like they’re still in there. And they would reach out to us and gain our sympathy and trust. Reassure us that this is for the best, and that it’s all part of their plan. How they’ve missed us and just wish we could go back to the way things were before that dreaded poker game. And we would crumble. Dark would wrap us around his finger, make us care again, and trust him more. Because they were still there. It wasn’t just Dark. They weren’t bad people. We had to help them, had to believe them! After all, what do we always say? They deserved better.

Dark is a mastermind. Due to his manipulative nature, he’s always thinking dozens of steps ahead so that no matter the circumstance, those he wants to control will stay firmly trapped under his thumb. And this bitch will prey on anything to get what he wants. Any sort of weakness a person has, he will exploit. Heck, he’ll exploit their strengths, too. Dark, to me, is a people reader. He’s observed so many people and figured out how they operate. He’s figured out which people are most responsive to positive reinforcement, and those who are most responsive to negative reinforcement. And he’s content to observe. Dark is patient, while Anti can be more impulsive. Dark does not mind waiting and biding his time to make sure he is successful. There’s a reason he’s had fewer appearances than Anti (again, story-wise not logistics based).

Just like Anti and Jack, I adore how Dark and Mark compare to one another. Even though we know Dark isn’t exactly Mark’s dark persona, it’s really intriguing to see how Mark took that concept of his dark side and fleshed it out. Because again, Dark and Mark have very similar personalities and strengths. Both are very charismatic and are good at influencing people, extraordinarily smart, and emotionally driven (in many ways, including temper). But the way they use these gifts is how they differ and why it’s so interesting to observe. Mark uses his charisma and influence to better the world, whether it be through charity or simply giving people who may have given up a reason to live. He uses his intelligence and creativity to entertain millions and is always coming up with interesting ways to make what he does more successful (just look at the recent livestreams). In contrast, Dark uses his charisma to charm people into doing and getting what HE wants. He uses his gifts selfishly instead of selflessly. He uses his gift as an influencer to coerce people into doing horrible things (like shooting Mark in ADWM), and his intelligence lets him figure out how the human mind operates so that he can better control it. It’s such a cool concept to have these two people be so similar and yet they are completely different.

Okay, now, why is Dark scary to me? Well, as a said before, Dark seems to operate in the realm of the mind. We haven’t seen him pull anything particularly violent besides pulling a gun on Mark. Other than that, he’s been trying to manipulate us and others through our emotions and thoughts. As someone who has always taken pride in how sharp my mind is, it scares me to think that Dark could turn my own mind against me just by taking my weaknesses and words and twisting them to mean something negative. I don’t like being outsmarted, and I could absolutely believe that I would somehow talk myself into a trap by being outsmarted by Dark. I like to think that I would be able to see through his charade and not be bothered by his words, but I just don’t know. I’m only human and there are some very vulnerable parts of me that could be prodded to make me even more vulnerable. And while I don’t think I wear my heart on my sleeve, I don’t think I hide my emotions well, and Dark will take whatever he sees and attack with it. Another thing about Dark is that there is still so much that is hidden about him. We haven’t seen enough of him in action to determine much. It seems he’s acting on the horror concept of “the less you see the monster, the scarier it becomes.” And god damn has that been executed well. We’ve only had extended exposure to Dark in ADWM. All other appearances have been quick cameos where we get a better sense of his personality, but not much else. Again, him biding his time has proved very effective. He proved he was a threat before disappearing into the shadows to watch everyone worry themselves into a tizzy. We’ve seen a snippet of his power, but who knows what else he’s capable of? That’s why there are so interpretations of him. He takes on the powers and forms we are personally most afraid of. He’s become the monster in the dark. He’s a looming menace which has always scared me. The last thing that scares me is that I can see parts of myself in him. I’m prideful and I have quite the temper when pushed far enough. I’m ambitious and my thoughts can be viciously vengeful. I think back through my life and wonder how much in my life would have had to occurred differently for me to become a manipulative piece of garbage (hint: less than you would think). And that’s a horrifying thought to me.

So Dark is scary due to his intelligence, his ambiguity, and the fact that he’s realistic enough that I see characteristics of myself in him. Dark’s appearances also don’t have the build up that Anti’s have. We get an occasional hint or two, but they’re subtle enough that it makes us question whether or not we’re looking into things too much. Then out of nowhere, an appearance happens and the entire fandom is sent reeling. I think the most build up we’ve gotten for Dark is the week long clue hunt the led to Who Killed Markiplier?. And that wasn’t even built up FOR Dark. This more guerilla warfare style of appearances is much more effective in scaring me because it leaves me feeling nervous all the time. Between Anti appearances, I’m able to calm down. But because of the suddenness of Dark’s appearances, I’m always high strung wondering when, where and how he’s going to strike next. Because I can “feel” him watching, calculating his next move, but I can never figure out where he is to prepare myself for the next appearance. So for me, it more effectively scares me as I feel more of a loss of control.

And that’s a lot of my thoughts on Dark! He’s very much the style of villain I’m drawn to, so I have a lot of fun theorizing about and analyzing him. I love that Mark embraced this character and made him his own because he’s made a very formidable and compelling villain! And I can’t wait to see where this story goes next and how Mark will burn the fandom down next time!

#antisepticeye #jacksepticeye #darkiplier #markiplier #analysis #again just my opinions!#but ive been thinking about the dark boys a lot lately #And i thought others might be interested in seeing how people view the characters

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thedogsled · 7 years ago

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This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.

This episode was like Castiel, it literally wouldn’t let me sleep. I woke up still screaming from last night because omfgsoshookwtfwtf, but hopefully the rest of this will make more sense. This will ultimately be a “Destiel of it all” sort of post, so bear with me if that’s what you’re here for.

I was thinking about how often meta writers have to defend the ‘We’re not psychic don’t ask us to speculate’ thing, which from the perspective of all involved just sucks. If something doesn’t go as predicted then two things often happen: the reader ends up disappointed, and the meta writer gets it rubbed in their face. That sucks. But the thing is that particularly after episodes like last night’s, readers are going to be more convinced than ever that meta writers can see the future, and I wanted to go through some of the reasons why just so that you’re all on the same page about it.

By reading into the meta, meta writers observe the trends of both how the writers write, how they engage the audience in text and subtext, how the visual effects and everything else comes together to produce a storyline, and how parallels tie us into the present day. When you start with the premise that “every story is about Sam and Dean or Sam or Dean in some way” which PTB have stated in the past, then untangling what those stories mean about our boys makes perfect sense, and that’s what meta writers do. So Bloodlines? Was about our boys. That episode where Dean and Sam work Rufus and Bobby’s old case? Was about our boys. It’s all about Sam and Dean (and when it’s not, it’s about the people closest to them ftr).

Now a lot of it I will give you is that if you throw out enough words some of them will stick. It’s almost inevitable; there’s only so many stories you can tell, especially if you consider that the characters are going to be who they are. That’s helpful. That’s where reading character and subtext really comes in. When you’re complimenting a fanfiction writer on how IC their characters are, you’re complimenting their read of a character on screen. A good empathic reader will be able to generally predict how a character will act in a given situation because they’re following the general trend of their storyline and know how they deal with similar situations in the past (especially with such a huge canon to draw from as SPN).

Let me talk about 13x04, though, because we were screeching with delight all the way through it. I hate to say “I told you so” but... And while you read the following I want you to think – with an open mind - about this question: If meta writers were right about all of this based on our read of the text/subtext then maybe they’re not wrong about Destiel.

P.S. this is an instinctual first read, I haven’t even had a chance to rewatch the episode yet, and through conversation I expect I’ll change my mind here and there.

Under the cut because it’s HUGE

The Empty

Prediction: The Empty is the place where all angels go when they die. Castiel will face himself in the Empty. He will struggle with his past experiences, all the wrong he’s done and overcome it through force of will. He may have to confront his feelings for Dean in some way. The word love may come up. An act of free will – a choice to return – will set him free.

A handful of counter predictions: Cas will face someone else in the Empty. Jack will be the one to get Cas out. Cas will face all the other facets of himself. Cas will be the only thing in the Empty.

What we had to go on: A couple of interviews in which Misha mentioned how weird (and completely different to other things he’s done on SPN so far) the work he did for the Empty was, how boring it was, that he worked with another actor (and that the actor was handsome); Castiel’s depression arc; Jack can’t get him out; the tiniest flash in the promo after 13x03 of Godstiel and a gooey black figure. This is a show about choice and free will, not magic powers saving the day (look at the season 11 finale)

What we got: The Empty is the place when angels and demons go to when they die. Castiel faces himself in the Empty but it is in fact an ancient spirit older than God who just wants a nap. He’s forced to live out his past experiences, all the wrong he’s done, and overcomes it through force of will. He is forced to confront his feelings, the word love comes up, and he chooses to return to Earth.

To sum up: The show gives us some surprises, Misha trolls with us, but ultimately we get what we expect and meta writers look psychic.

Sam Winchester’s Emotions

Prediction: Sam Winchester has feelings too. He is struggling in particular with the loss of Mary, and the reason why it’s predominately on his mind more than Cas is because he’s grieving her more than Dean. Sam is better at hiding what he feels, but he is hurting right now, and sooner or later we’ll see it. Probably in an episode that’s all about grief… In addition: Sam’s treatment of Jack is not healthy, and recalls Ruby’s training of Sam in a lot of creepy ways, and sooner or later someone has to call him on it. The way he’s treating Jack is due to his feelings about Mary and about himself.

Counter predictions: Sam Winchester’s feelings are more important than Dean’s, also he is totally right about Jack, and about his approach to Jack’s training etc. and nothing will go wrong with putting that much pressure on what is essentially a small child.

What we had to go on: 12 fucking seasons of Sam Winchester acting tough on the outside, needling Dean viciously about his emotions, and only sharing his own after he makes Dean crack. 12 seasons of Sam putting practicality before himself. 12 seasons of the boys bottling things up while you scream at them until you’ve had enough and they’ve had enough and they have a big fight and briefly go their separate ways. Have you watched them? Also: every time Mary was in the room Sam wanted to get closer to her physically since he couldn’t manage it emotionally. He never knew his mother, but Mary didn’t know him either, and Sam is much more a stranger to her than Dean is. Mary connects with Dean, and it’s Dean who gets to settle things with her in her nightmare world, and Sam is feeling a loss that he’s felt his entire life. Basically all Sam’s MOL arc.

What we got: Sam needled Dean about his grief, and then Sam fucking lost it. This was a surprise to half the audience who for some reason didn’t see it coming. And you know what Sam did after he lost it? He went back into hunter mode like it was out of style and went after the monster. That’s my boy.

To sum up: We don’t talk enough about Sam, but you know what? I feel most of us (unless we were somehow oblivious to Sam doing anything more than caring for the nougat and being Good) knew that Sam stuff was coming. Sam doesn’t have less emotions than Dean, he just has them differently.

Jack Kline misses his mother and other stories

Prediction: Jack is all alone in the world and he misses his mother. He is genuinely scared of Dean. He still thinks Sam is using him. He thinks Dean is going to kill him and wants to earn his approval/wants Dean to like him. He just wants to be a real boy and play video games and watch tv. He will learn to use his powers more. Jack will be the boys’ intern (dig the grave) and be integral in dealing with the monster of the week. Jack is more human than Dean thinks and more monster than Sam thinks. He thinks he’s going to become a monster, but he’ll get to choose.

What we had to go on: Jack’s growth so far. Promo photos. Alexander’s interviews etc. etc. And the theme of this season which is “we can choose who we want to be”.

Other predictions: ……….were there any?

What we got: Totally owned it. On top of that we got a monster who was choosing to be good and doing good, who came into an episode ostensibly about ghosts and made it an episode 100% not about ghosts. I was surprised and delighted. And that monster shapeshifted into Jack’s mom and hugged him and told him he could be anyone he wanted to be. Also Anakin Skywalker references but I saw that coming 500 years ago.

To sum up: I love this kid and I love his storyline and what he reflects in Sam and Dean. Just like Sam, he misses his mom, and just like Dean, he misses Cas. What more can you ask for?

Dean Winchester is a Dick

Prediction: Dean, who is feeling the loss of his love, is acting a lot like John when he lost Mary. Dean is in grieving and not handling it well. He’s throwing his rage around and it’s not making him or the people around him – who are also grieving – feel better. He’s being a dick. He will realize this at some point (either by grief counsellor or Sam’s needling) and start trying to work past it. He’ll also acknowledge that maybe the nougat isn’t all bad and start to like him a little bit (will need to acknowledge him somehow and put to rest the idea that he will turn around and kill him the second he knows how).

What we had to go on: How Dean has acted so far, and the general idea that the situation as it is is unsustainable. We as an audience needed Dean to start moving past his grief because it’s too hard to watch. We also had the recent interview tease that Sam and Dean’s perspectives on Jack would be flipping, and all of the callbacks and parallels that we’ve had to John so far this season.

Other predictions: DEAN ISN’T A DICK. DEAN IS NOT JOHN. STFU. Also Sam is the more emotional brother??? Er, and of course Dean can do no wrong and he is 100% right about his treatment of Jack and his delivery of the threat to kill him.

What we got: Sam said that Dean is acting like John and Dean asked if that was such a bad thing. Dean opened up about some of his feelings and triggered Sam’s outburst, he also acknowledged his anger, said out loud that he’s being a dick, exposed how bad a place he’s in emotionally, and acknowledged what his anger is doing to Jack. He let the nougatty goodness into his heart, and still suitably wary or not, he gave the kid a chance. He also made it clear that his pain is not all about Mary, because Sam who was more upset about Mary was freed up emotionally by talking about her with the grief counsellor while Dean is still not in a good place and as much as says so, with a direct “I have no faith” parallel right before a screen flip to Castiel getting out of the Empty when Cas is the one who introduced Dean to the nebulous idea of “faith” in the first place.

Other things predicted that happened:

Sam and Dean resolved their dispute

Sam and Dean flipped opinions on Jack and Mary by finally listening to each other and taking each other’s opinions/feelings/instinct into account

More INCREDIBLE PARALLELS signed sealed and delivered

Jack is getting happier

The real unfettered Castiel loves nature

Mention of unrequited love?!?!

Post depression: “A brand new you” + new coat and new tie + SUNSHINE

idk some other stuff this episode was packed

A caveat about meta writers, Castiel and Destiel:

We get excited too. We’re human and we’re excited for potential things that don’t happen too. Now while it became very clear that this would be an episode about motherhood a few days ago, for weeks we’ve been talking about just how nice it would be if Dean acknowledged his pain for Cas somehow too. But you know what? That wasn’t this episode, and that’s okay.

What isn’t okay is rubbing it in people’s faces and saying ‘haha Dean doesn’t care about Cas’ because bro, we’ve had three episodes where it was all about Cas. The thing was, Cas was in this episode (and not just because he was literally in this episode). He filled all the negative space. He is the source of Dean’s anger, which they were about to address when the monster of the week decided that their counselling session had run out of time.

Castiel was there, and I know for sure some of the folks around here will show you just how much in the coming week.

Did we want the counsellor to change into Cas too? Mm. Me personally no, because Dean’s grief doesn’t work like that. He’s not about to accept a replacement for Cas or his Mom. And hug the shapeshifter who may or may not (on her word alone) want to belly stab him? That would never happen; he wouldn’t let down his guard like that. So say I, but I’m sure there will be a heartbreaking coda where I get to read all about it so maybe my opinion will change.

Did I want him to talk about it? In retrospect no. Look, I’d love for a magic bullet to put Sam on the same page as Dean about Cas but actually…I’m quite happy with the subtext as it is. Dean talking about Cas with someone he doesn’t know out of the blue like that would cheapen it for me. Hell, in some ways I want Sam to work out and put a name to Dean’s love for Cas himself, because I think he’s the only person who can convince Dean that it’s alright.

So about Destiel. If you’ve been keeping up then this episode should be a primer for what meta writers are capable of extrapolating from a story based on where it’s been in the past, how storywriting works and what the characters are like. Now, if that can be accomplished for one episode, and we have all these clues to years of subtext between Dean and Castiel, then I have to ask you: do you believe us yet? And if not, why not? What key piece is missing at this point?

The thing is we look at the story, we look at the negative space, the cinematography, the tropes, and this bell is ringing noisily in our heads, train whistled and fangirl screams and all the rest of it: HERE COMES THE DESTIEL TRAIN! It’s impossible to ignore. It’s so impossible to ignore it makes people who’ve never seen the canon think they’re in love, it makes people who come into the show determined not to be swept away by Destiel see it anyway, and it makes members of the GA shift in their seat and go “There’s something weird about Dean and Cas right?”

So please. If you’re still not convinced that this show is going to go there, do me one small favour. Okay ‘small’ is a little off the mark, but. Go back and watch parts of the show again, but instead of watching it determined to ignore Dean’s feelings for Cas, watch for those moments instead. Watch it because you want to see it there: watch Dean stare through the Gas N Sip window at his friend; watch Dean’s face after April kills him; watch him stare into a mirror and try and remember Castiel’s name; watch Cas offer to die for him just so Dean doesn’t have to do it alone; watch as even Lucifer calls Dean out on the way he calls Cas’ name; feel the tension in the room where Dean shoves Cas back across the room and stares at his goddamn mouth; watch him mourn and mourn and mourn and pray and beg for his friend back.

Meta readers read what’s there. They aren’t psychic, they aren’t making predictions, and occasionally they’ll be wrong. But maybe, just maybe, we’re not wrong about this.

I believe, Dean. I believe.

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destiny-smasher · 7 years ago

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So! Episode 2 of Before the Storm! It was very good! If you haven't read my thoughts on Episode 1, here those are.

If you want an audio discussion about either episode, I've recorded podcasts with my girlfriend, @mollifiable, as well as musicians Riley Hawke and Koethe. Here’s what we discussed on Ep1, and here’s the podcast on Ep2. BEAR IN MIND I will be discussing a number of things from EPISODE 2, so you probably shouldn’t read this if you haven’t experienced it yet. There are some inherent problems I still have with this projects conception (which I got into in that first post back in September), but Epsiode 2 has gone a long way toward giving me faith in why this story is being made. Or, at the least, that it's being made with a lot of thought and care. I've played a LOT of story-focused, episode games, and honestly, I think this episode is one of the best I've ever experienced, overall. I still struggle with some elements of the story (ex. I just don't like Rachel as much as I think I'm 'meant to,' BUT I think that ties into what the overall story may be about), and I still feel frustrated that your team is being limited by the nature of the setup (why is this all happening over three days when it could’ve been over three years, for example), but Episode 2 just has so much good going for it and I felt like it really showed what can be done with a project like this. Like last time, I want to address this to Madeleine, Felice, and the entire team at Deck Nine directly – and point out how much it means to us that you guys actually reach back and communicate with us, even encouraging criticism. I'm proud of what your team has been able to accomplish with this episode and think it stands out in the genre in a lot of ways.

Let’s get to it.

That being said, I do want to offer my criticisms, so let's just get those out of the way first. First off, Samuel – yeesh. Sorry, I just really didn't like the scene with Samuel. Part of it is his new voice actor just sounding more...creepy? I guess I'd say? But also, his manner of speech and the things he said felt out of place. Not just for his character but with the story in general. In LiS1, Samuel comes across as mentally different than those around him, almost like a sort of sage in a way, engaging with the world in a different way than those around him (there's a similar character in Supergiant's brilliant Pyre who comes to mind). But here, Samuel felt like a cross between a psychiatrist and a guy taking too many drugs? That's perhaps harsh, but especially given that his character model/rigging didn't seem to carry over properly, I was just rubbed the wrong way by his presence in this episode in a way that hasn't happened with any other recurring characters. I appreciate the intent I picked up from his scene – to remind us that there's more going on than just what we can see on the surface – but I felt like it missed the mark of who Samuel was as a character without really establishing why he would be different in this way three years in the past. On a related subject – the adult characters in this episode, or at least some of them, felt weird. MOST of them felt more like caricatures than actual characters. Wells felt fine, and I actually kind of PREFER this take on Wells because he feels LESS like a caricature and more like an actual principle. I can even kind of see a headcanon link between this interpretation of him and the version of him three years having just kind of shed away his decorum from the stress of managing a school undergoing so many changes and financial problems. I really felt for Joyce, and I felt that David's character was finally presented in a way that lacked the cliché “military” skew that LiS1 forced too hard while simultaneously giving the audience an understanding of precisely why his presence in the household would push Chloe so far away (though I still find much of the Joyce/David stuff odd here because we already know where this all leads and nothing here really seems to build anything new from that). Characters like Rachel's dad, the theater teacher, Samuel, Skip, Damon, and Sean Prescott all felt...a bit too cartoony in ways. Damon maybe least of all due to the intensity of that scene and the nice subtext we can pick up (after all, money is a realistic and pragmatic motive to drive one to aggression) In general, the adults felt flatter and more cartoony than I think works for this setting. Not to say they should NEVER be funny or anything, just that I was repeatedly taken out of the story by how jarringly one-dimensional a line was, or how flat a voice delivery was, etc. Fortunately, this problem doesn't really carry over to the teens, who are, of course, the focus of the narrative. I also noticed more moments in this episode where characters' eyes were uncanny, staring straight ahead in unnatural ways – or mouth movements being weird (Samuel being the biggest example, to the point that it jarred me out of the story and distracted from his dialogue). Minor complaint, all things considered, but worth pointing out as I didn't really notice this happen in episode 1, which makes me worry that maybe things got rushed a bit too much? (you guys did release this episode weeks earlier than expected) On the upside, though, this problem did NOT exist when it mattered the most, so at least that detail was put into the important moments. All right, last nitpick – I found the whole “drugging” thing re: the pre-play scene to be in bad taste. On the one hand, I LIKE the premise, and how it really does a fascinating thing with developing/contrasting/comparing Rachel and Victoria (in a way that requires knowledge of alternate events, something only a video game could do), but on the other hand...ya'll made drugging teen girls in an active, malicious way this...joke. While I do love that BtS has more comedy in its tone, I found turning Victoria's drug-induced passing out into a JOKE to be kind of offensive, especially given that she can get drugged and murdered in LiS1 (and Rachel AND Chloe both get drugged and/or murdered?), and just...yea. All in all, I think the concept of this scene works, it's the execution that makes it feel insensitive and kind of worrying. (ex. Victoria passes out and fucking NO ONE calls a doctor or tries to help her, the camera fucking PANS on her unconscious body like it's this joke and the way the whole thing is framed just invites laughter on something that kinda sorta shouldn't be funny given the full context of this story) Anyway, it's kind of like the wine scene in the first episode, but worse in terms of implications, I guess? I'm not THAT torn up over it since it's brief, and everyone's OK in the end, I presume, but it just feels a bit tone deaf when SO MUCH of this episode is SO GOOD. It really took me out of the experience – but the layered nature of it (how Rachel gets her way no matter what, how Rachel AND Victoria are both willing to drug each other, how Vic can be manipulated while Rachel can't) makes it really intriguing. I think the concept here was intriguing, but the execution on stuff like this could be handled more thoughtfully. I could get into pacing issues, I suppose, but honestly, I've already critiqued enough, and I think this episode was really good, so I don't want to get too down on the details when I'm sure others will get into this topic. (like the canon inconsistencies, they’re there, but aren’t really detracting from the good stuff)

OK! With all of that out of the way, let me get into what I loved about this episode, which was most of it. Episode 1 was unclear and uncertain in what it was trying to convey, which makes more sense now that we have Episode 2, which dives right into what this story seems to be about – passion, and the good and bad that comes from it. Passion, to be clear, being different from love. Love is steady, consistent, like a stream of water, while passion is fast and bright and sudden, like fire. I could get into the elemental symbolism you could correlate between wind, water, fire and Chloe, Max, and Rachel, but I'm sure folks have done this already. I do think it's still worth pointing out just how great a job you've done so far using fire as a metaphor for Rachel and Chloe's relationship, both within the story presented here and overarching into LiS as a whole. You managed to work it into the actual plot, as well, in a way that doesn't feel forced or thoughtless – an entire episode later and there are still consequences from it. Having just experienced the CA wildfires a half hour away from my home, I can appreciate a certain level of fear and awe at how much can be affected by fire, even the air itself, and just how quickly it can spread and how much damage it can do in a short time. The fact that the title screen itself it an analogy about passion makes me super excited at the potential for episode 3. Absolutely love that the title screen doubles as atmosphere AND symbolism. Specifically, I have to call out the dream sequence here as being quite awesome. From the moment I saw the burning car with a shadowed figure, I already knew what the visual reveal at the end of the scene was going to be, and was still thoroughly satisfied. I absolutely love LOVE the metaphor William presents about comparing/contrasting light and dark in terms of how both can cause us to lose ourselves, lose our ways, and be blinded. The way this correlates to Chloe's loss of William, Max, and Rachel (darkness) to how she can be blinded by light (passion for Rachel, even excitement about Max's power later on) is all encapsulated in a single bit of dialogue that communicates such an underexplored theme in the medium, and one that makes telling this story from a teenage perspective suddenly feel 100% sensible instead of just a coincidence. Telling a story diving into the theme of passion just wouldn't work the same from a character too young or too old, because it's this part of the human condition that we experience passion the deepest and the hottest. Which brings us to the fantastic play aspect, which is one of my favorite moments in all of LiS at this point. The layers of meaning at work here were genius. First off, it's all a play – an act. And Chloe is trying to keep up, while Rachel is clearly experienced with this. Secondly, the connections between relationships in The Tempest to the protagonists is great use of intertextual storytelling. Thirdly, highlighting a Shakespearean play, which highlights passion from teenage youths, yet another layer. Fourth, they go off script, which itself has really interesting connotations in terms of this game itself existing in the first place as an “off script” piece of the story, as well as how the content of their moment carries an unrealistic, impractical hopefulness to it that is inspiring, but still an act in a play, involving magic and fantasy. Fifth, concluding the scene with the way the play ends adds this really awesome extra layer of meta expression – Rachel as a character gets to be expressed and represented in a way she originally was not, with the help of fans of the LiS developing this prequel, but also fans of LiS breathing life into Rachel before this prequel existed; PLUS the prequel itself is a performance that you, the development team, are putting on for us, the audience. There's just so much going on here, and the musical choices helped seal the moment's emotional impact. Even as myself, coming from the perspective of not trusting Rachel's judgment/actions, I felt as if I finally had a 'moment' where I truly understood why Chloe was so swiftly enamored with Rachel. It reminded me of moments I've experienced in my own past, though nothing as 'magical' as this. It also just highlighted how Rachel's character has power and influence over those around her despite being so young. All in all, bravo. This scene came together fantastically, and I think it's one of the most thoughtfully put together scripted scenes I've ever seen in a video game. This was the moment I fell in love with this story – not because of AmberPrice but because it was so well put together by everyone involved. I think this will probably go down as the highlight of this game when all is said and done. To back things up a bit, I did enjoy the premise of the junkyard stuff. I really liked giving Chloe's character a bit of breathing room on her own – the kinds of things she thinks to herself while exploring the environment showed a bit of Max's influence on her still being present even as she's trying to forget Max. I liked that we could pick different objects to help decorate/fix the van, as well, but the flow of the scene would work better if we could do it all in one trip rather than taking two trips – I found myself disoriented after placing the battery into the car, and by that point had lost track of where specific objects were, whereas it would've been more fitting to maybe have Chloe make note of the items first, or even gather them all up into a pile and let the player choose from there. I predicted and felt satisfied by how the truck was utilized as an analogy for Chloe as a person – broken, banged up, abandoned, lost, but if given enough attention and care, could be back up and running. The therapy session Rachel and Chloe have was also nice at building their relationship further.

Something that wasn't as apparent in episode 1 because it simply needed time to grow was the whole way that Rachel is presented as someone who is flawed. Because the story is from Chloe's perspective, there's maybe too many limits on how this can be developed, though we'll see how the finale handles things, but I really liked that all of the flaws we already know about her character from stuff in LiS1 felt contextualized in this episode. She can be manipulative, short-sighted, impulsive, and even self-absorbed, but it's not malicious or even intentional all of the time. Rachel herself is in a similar position as Chloe – they're teenagers – she is still figuring herself out, what she really wants, who she really wants to be, and how she can achieve those things. All of my doubts, concerns, and fears about this relationship between them all feel validated by their dynamics, by the theming and foreshadowing, and yet it simultaneously makes sense why and how they'd end up together – out of teenage passion, and a shared sense of longing to feel both needed by someone else and taken care of by someone else. The scene after the play, in the street, had a great sense of aesthetic to it, which felt like it was from a teen romance film from the 80's or something. The imagery of the scene highlights the nature of this whole story – a splash of light along a dark road that is Chloe's teenage years. The multiple ways this scene can play out depending on previous choices was neat, too. I was especially intrigued by the possibility of making the “Friendship” choice in Ep1, then asking for a kiss here in this scene – there's this amazing bit of animation in Rachel's face that really shows her thought processes clicking together in an ambiguous way that really fits her character. I'm also super curious as to what will come of the bracelet bit, since Rachel surprisingly gives it to Chloe if you ask for it, despite the fact that we know she ultimately gives it to Frank. There's multiple possibilities of what that could entail, and I'm really interested in seeing how that plays out. This actually reminds me of how much I liked the way decisions from episode 1 have branched out here. Rather than decisions having a single static meaning later on, you have aspects from Episode 1 lead to different branching possibilities of how scenes play out. The outcomes are usually the same, but still, it makes the story feel more dynamic, and I like how these aren't always super obvious. There's a lot of examples of this, from telling Rachel that Chloe feels romantically or not, to stealing the money, to what you do WITH the money, and some other smaller things, too. Great work with this stuff, it helps us see different angles to the characters when we have these options, and highlights what LiS was originally about re: characters – perspective is everything. And yet, Rachel seems almost immune to things in a sense, which is appropriate given how her character works and how she influences those around her. I liked the scene with Frank in the RV and the way it contrasts and compares his future self to his past self. Which reminds me, this episode had a bit more interesting 'character development through environment,' which was a highlight of LiS1 that felt missing from Ep1 of Before the Storm. Whether it was Frank's RV, Elliot's dorm room, the Amber household, or, most poignantly, Drew's dorm room, you guys did a great job letting us learn more about the characters through the environments. While you could argue that it doesn't quite match Chloe's character the way it does Max (and I'd argue that the whole nature of trying to socialize and make friends itself already is kind of against Chloe's character in Ep1), I think it works well enough and just makes sense from a game design standpoint. I liked that we got more opportunities for graffiti in ways that weren't just straight up wall graffiti (ex. Crossword, drawing on the newspaper photo). I glossed over this last time, but part of what I've been frustrated by with Before the Storm is the way Chloe at 16 years old...already feels like Chloe at 19, but slightly more awkward. Episode 2 helped resolve some of this by putting her outside of her comfort zone more and highlighting her vulnerability, cynicism, and uncertainty (whereas Chloe at 19 kind of doesn't give a shit and dives head first into everything and doesn't care what anyone thinks). I also really love the multiple ways you've referenced that Chloe was originally a “nerd” like Max, and has gradually been straying away from that – and yet, it's still part of who she is (and ends up showing itself later on in LiS1, like how she seems to know more about time travel theory than Warren does). In particular, I loved how she pulls up different characters' web search histories – something that doesn't specifically take much effort, but that most people wouldn't think to do. This in and of itself was a really clever way of adding more to character development for those involved. (“why won't puppy eat steak” is hilarious to me and I can't get over it for some reason) The entire scene with Mikey, Drew, and Damon was wonderful. I loved the multiple outcomes and how none of them are specifically good, and any of them can feel in character for Chloe. I think Damon's character feels a little one dimensional here, BUT the context makes sense – he wants his fucking money. He's collecting debts after suffering a huge monetary loss. Of course he's going to be single-minded. As a side note, I loved the small but significant bit re: Damon's e-mail to Frank. Props to whoever came up with that. What a brilliantly subtle way of telling us so much about Damon's true character and his relationship with Frank. Going back to the conflict at the dorm, I loved that you took a bully character who appeared simple and effortlessly fleshed him out enough to feel legitimately believable with real motives. I loved how I was able to figure out the passcode to his lock organically given everything I had seen, and how I then used that knowledge to express what I felt would be in his best interests in the conflict – even though, as my girlfriend pointed out, it might not have been the best long-term outcome. I wish we'd seen more of Mikey and Steph, but what was there was still good. Steph's brief convo with Chloe I saw coming in a good way, and I really liked how you presented it. I liked the bits we got with Samantha and Skip, as well, thought I'm wondering where you're going with Samantha and Nathan. I was actually really frustrated with the Backtalk sequence with Skip, but then, I think that was the whole point. Speaking of, I really didn't like Backtalk in Ep1, but it was overall much better here. In Ep1, Backtalk was like some weird 'Be an Asshole' thing, and it felt weird how the game inherently encouraged you to do this. In Ep2, there were multiple times where I felt unsure if Backtalk was 'the best' way to go, and even then, most of its uses felt much more organic. It wasn't just about being a jerk to make someone feel bad, there was often some organic purpose to it – talking Victoria out of being in the play in a way that made her feel like it was her own decision; trying to get info out of Frank; trying to get into a dorm you weren't supposed to be in; trying to stick up for Rachel in the face of discipline, or trying to help her confront her father. In every case, there was an interpersonal motivation – Chloe wasn't doing it for something she specifically wanted, or just to make someone feel bad, but to try and do something for someone else. Also, they felt more like arguments, or ways of manipulating someone, rather than straight up insults. In some ways, it reminded me of things in TellTale's The Walking Dead Season 2, using more manipulative dialogue to resolve a situation rather than just brute-forcing things. This also contributes toward the theme of 'influence' regarding Chloe being influenced by Rachel so quickly and easily that she's even picking up some of Rachel's tactics (which, one could argue, she uses later on when she's older). This being said, I'm hoping that in Episode 3 we're given a more high-stakes situation that can be resolved using those more manipulative mannerisms, which gives the Backtalk mechanic a “climax” of sorts.

I like the way that you've been able to build this sense of supernatural occurrences without actually showing anything supernatural. The All-Seeing-Eye, the recurring Raven imagery, the weird shit going on with Chloe and others seeming to be having mysterious, prophetic dreams (even Elliot and Frank seem to be having them), the way the ash fall at the end of the episode foils the snowfall at the end of Ep1 of Life is Strange. This builds to a fascinating moment at the end of the episode where, for the first time, perspective SHIFTS from Chloe to Rachel, only for a few seconds, but in a really neat way that leads you to FEEL like something supernatural is about to happen, only for it not to. In a way, this feels like what your overall story could be about in a sense, though it'd be downright odd at this point to have NO answers or resolution regarding what I described above. One of the original game's biggest flaws was how it drummed up mystery only to leave things unexplained or unresolved in ways that damaged the actual plot. Dream sequences don't necessarily do this, but with how much emphasis you've put on them and the Raven/Eye imagery, I feel like there must be a purpose you have here – especially if members of your staff are getting ravens tattooed on their bodies. Naturally, Rachel's mom seems tied to all of this, if not the origin point of it. And I can't help but wonder if we'll even get a perspective shift near the end of the story from Rachel's point of view, if only to help imply or insinuate some things that tie into unanswered elements of Max's story. Speaking of Max, I was much more happy with the 'letters' in this episode, as they spend very little time needlessly bashing a character who wasn't even present, and more time on Chloe quickly becoming obsessed with Rachel – which all makes sense with the arc you seem to be going for. I liked the extra allusions to Chloe's future with Max, such as the maze and William's remark about a “beauty” to come in the future. It's such a complicated thing to tackle – and trust me, I've spent two years and hundreds of thousands of words trying to tackle it myself with these same characters – but I finally have come to a place where I can appreciate the balance you've managed to find between supporting the good elements Chloe and Rachel had going for them, while also implying the bad elements and the reasons why Chloe would develop feelings for Max later on. On a personal level, I relate with Chloe a lot in regards to her relationships (I relate with Max in a lot of ways, too, but that's a separate matter). I have lived through both long term and short term experiences of passion, romantically and platonically. And I have been romantically involved with people who remind me of Rachel. And I think that's part of why I just...don't like her, personally. BUT I am at a place now, after this episode, where I like her as a CHARACTER, even if I don't like her as a fictional person. I never can fully let my guard down around her, but can totally understand why Chloe would (and did), and have been there. And now that I have the context of this episode, I can finally start to see what 'the point' of this story seems to be, which makes me very curious to see how it is resolved. Lastly, again, great job using mocap and facial animation to heighten realism for a lot of scenes. While I noticed more “flat” moments than before, it never detracted from the important moments having that level of detail to make them bring out an extra layer of inevitability. From Chloe knocking at a dartboard to finger-gun gestures, to subtle but complex expressions, just a lot of great expressive details going on here. On that note, I noticed a real improvement in Rhianna’s performance. She felt like she wasn’t trying to mimic Ashly Burch or Ellen Page and was instead just finding her own interpretation of the role, and it works MUCH better. In a way, I still feel a constant sense of ‘this isn’t exactly Chloe’ but not in a bad way, just a...different way. Instead of feeling distracted by her actress being different, I felt instead like I was being more absorbed into this alternate interpretation of the character. Both Hannah and Ashly needed some time to fill into their roles before ‘the good stuff’ really came out in their performances, so I’m really looking forward to what Rhianna might pull off in Episode 3, and what she can do in the future after this role, when she isn’t burdened by the complexities of this kind of situation. I could go on, but I've ranted stream-of-conscious style long enough. I still have some more broad strokes issues with this game’s narrative, but then again, I have issues with the original game’s, as well -- and this story isn’t done yet, so I want to wait until I have the full context before I comment on those broad-scope design elements. I hope at least some of what I've written here is helpful to your team, and that my critical comments highlight just how good a job you guys did with this second entry. Regardless of how I end up feeling about Episode 3 of Before the Storm, I am really happy for your team and what they've pulled off here, and am very supportive of what you seem to be trying to do, as delicate a balancing act as it surely is.

#Life is Strange #Before the Storm #LiS BtS #Life is Strange Before the Storm

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takaraphoenix · 7 years ago

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Best Animated Movies Through the Years

After I threw some shade at Disney with the sequel-thing I did earlier, I figured I’d do a list of what I consider the best animated movies. Not just including Disney. And since I’m shit at picking favorites and properly ranking stuff, we’ll go through them by years, in chronological order. All personal picks, obviously.

Basically, this is just self-indulgent because I want to ramble about my favorite animated movies.

Also, this is going to be really long so I’ll shorten it by making you click “keep reading” below!

And by “really long”, I mean this is literally a list of 65 animated movies through the years - yeah, that is the narrowed-down version because it’s only 65 out of the 282 animated movies I have on my overall “timeline of animated movies”.

I think the way this list makes most sense is... for scrolling through to see titles you might have never heard of before and getting a recommendation for a great animated movie that isn’t necessarily just your average Disney masterpiece (though those are of course also on the list).

1937 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Disney

It might not be the best story-telling wise and Snow might not be the most fleshed-out Disney princess, but you can not talk about the best animated movies without respecting the first. This paved the way and this is what set the course for Disney. The animation is beautiful, even eighty years later it still looks stunning. And while not a genius in character-development, it is still a very faithful - by Disney-standards anyway - retelling of the fairy tale.

1942 - Bambi, Disney

Thumper will forever be one of my favorite Disney characters. Who watched this movie and didn’t love Bambi and Thumper and Flower is a lying liar who lies. It is beautiful, it is emotional and it’s the start of a wonerful tradition of talking animal movies.

1950 - Cinderella, Disney

I know I said in the sequel-thing that this movie is flat. But you got to keep in mind the time-period from which it is. And for that, it still stands strong. Many shame Cinderella as just being a girl after a boy and that’s it; same for Snow White by the way. All those “new age” Disney fans who think only the princesses from 2000+ are real heroines. That both Snow White and Cinderella were abused half their lives and that literally the only escape from that kind of abuse in that kind of time would be to get married and move out, is forgotten way too often. This girl has been treated as a house-slave all her life and all she wants is one night to feel like a princess - she never even really just wishes for a prince, she just wants to go to the ball - and she fights for it. It’s more a movie about overcoming abuse and issues of self-worth, of friendship and escapism than it is just a bland “That girl wants a boyfriend” movie and it deserves respect for that.

1951 - Alice in Wonderland, Disney

As a very big fan of the books, I hold a special kind of love for this movie because it’s actually a rather faithful adaptation. Of course it leaves out a lot and changes some things, but I think it stands very true to the source material and keeps a wonderful mixture of beautiful fairy tale land and creepy LSD trip in a great balance.

1959 - Sleeping Beauty, Disney

Aurora is my favorite Disney princess so I can not skip her movie. This movie wins on character design alone. Aurora gets a lot of shade thrown at her for being asleep half her movie, but you gotta try to look past that. We have a green-skinned, horned villainess who turns into a freaking dragon and spits fire. Maleficent’s design alone is amazing, but add to that the three quirky fairies and Aurora, as well as Prince Philipp who gets to not just kiss the girl as the princes before him did but to literally slay a dragon and save the kingdom for his princess and you got a real fairy tale masterpiece right there.

1967 - The Jungle Book, Disney

If I had to pick only one Disney movie, out of an artistic point of view, it would be this. Just as an artist alone, I marvel at this movie and the love for detail that went into animating the animals. The way they walk and move was done so incredibly well, you can see the effort that went into making this movie. The drawings are so beautiful. Bagheera will forever be one of my favorite Disney characters. Shere Khan is one of the three best Disney villains in existence - also, vastly misunderstood considering he really should have just eaten the brat and be done with this, I mean come on, like a pack of wolves or a panther wouldn’t have eaten the tiny snack and I still think this movie would have been improved by 100% if they had eaten Mowgli in the beginning because the brat is the only flaw this movie has.

1970 - Aristocats, Disney

This is such a beautiful story of family and love. I feel like it nearly doesn’t even need words to describe it because it’s a given that this movie should be on this list. The humor, the heart, the music, the animation, the characters. It’s adorable, and I’m saying that as a not-cat-person.

1973 - Robin Hood, Disney

It’s impressive if you just consider the fact that it was made with so much rehashed material (they reused a lot of old animation here). But it has a beautiful story, it’s innovative in the sense that it essentially introduces anthro characters and it’s just ridiculously cute.

1976 - The Twelve Tasks of Asterix | Les Douze Travaux d’Astérix, Goscinny & Uderzo

As a German, I can not do this list without including this movie. It is maybe one of the funniest animated movies in history. No one in Germany doesn’t know what a Passierschein A38 is. Growing up with the Asterix comics and other Franco-Belgian comics in the way the stereotypical nerds in American TV grew up with Marvel and DC comics, Asterix was literally the hero of my childhood and among all his movies, this one is definitely the best and the most fun to watch.

1981 - The Fox and the Hound, Disney

This is easily one of the most heartbreaking Disney movies and the only one where the love-interest is the real villain for coming between the main characters? Like? No. This movie would be perfect if not for Vixie. I love foxes, I love baby animals (when they’re animated; real ones creep me out) and I love a good story about friendship. This is really not a happy movie, which sets it apart from other Disney movies, but it’s still beautiful.

1986 - An American Tail, Don Bluth

For me, as a German kid, this was so weird to watch because the concept of immigrants and other continents aside from Europe being A Thing That Exists, it was totally alien and following Feivel and his family on that journey was a great way of being introduced into this literal New World of America. Feivel is such an endearing character, this movie is so heartfelt and has a pure focus on family and friendship that is simply beautiful to watch.

1986 - Fluppy Dogs, Disney

I know this one is a bit of a stretch because technically it’s not a movie but the pilot to a failed cartoon series, but this might easily be my favorite Disney movie of them all? The characters are so amazing, the concept of parallel worlds will forever be one of my favorite things and I was first introduced to it in this movie, the focus of friendship and overcoming differences is great and I’m sorry but this is a movie about rainbow-colored fluffy puppies that can talk and travel between universes, how is that not amazing?!

1988 - The Land Before Time, Don Bluth

Others cried when Bambi’s mom was shot, but to me this one was way worse. The pain and fear of isolation that Little Foot went through, this scary dark world around him. Those diverse, quirky and amazing characters that you met and fell in love with within this really short one hour movie - really, you have one hour and you have five main characters and yet it’s enough to make you fall for each and every one of them. How this ragtag team of dinosaurs finds together and how they become friends. It’s maybe the purest friendship-story among animated movies and I love it. Also, it’s literally the best dinosaur movie ever made and you can fight me on that.

1989 - All Dogs Go to Heaven, Don Bluth

This is so refreshing, because we don’t have this shining, pure golden boy of a protagonist. We have the first anti-hero in animated history, really. Charlie is a selfish dog and he has an amazing redemption arc. The guts to do such a thing, a redemption movie on an animated dog, I marvel at that, considering the time and that it had never been done before. You learn to love Charlie and you feel for him throughout the journey and you also feel for the little girl.

1989 - The Little Mermaid, Disney

Ariel is a brat. Ariel is maybe the only Disney princess that is mainly relatable if you yourself are a child and rebelling against your parents. As a kid, this was the best princess movie for me, I worshiped Ariel, she was so cool. As an adult, I mainly admire Triton and his patience and love for his daughter. This movie, for me, is what shows you if you’re grown up. If you still side with Ariel, you’re probably not as grown up as you like to think, and if you came around to feel for Triton, I got some bad news for you because you are officially an adult now. But even that aside, it has one of the most endearing sidekicks in Flounder, it has one of the most compelling villains in Ursula and it has some of the most beautiful musical numbers. Not to mention, the animation is gorgeously drawn.

1990 - The Rescuers Down Under, Disney

This movie is literally the only sequel in the history of sequel-making that outdoes the first movie. Its animation is beautiful, its story-telling amazing, its characters get proper arcs and are well-rounded and cute, it’s a stunning masterpiece of an animated movie (and I wasn’t even aware that there was a first one until my late teens, so it’s also amazingly done as a stand-alone movie).

1991 - Beauty and the Beast, Disney

Since I included all the other princess movies, I feel obligated to also include this. And it does have beautiful music and animation - outstanding animation, really - and it has endearing sidekicks, but I’m just not really a fan of the story itself. The whole violent, vicious beast kidnaps girl and girl completely changes everything about him and they fall in love with each other but somehow she never even bothers to ask him for his name and continues to call him Beast even though they’re already in love, not to mention this was kick-started because a 10 year old boy was rude to a stranger, what the heck Enchantress way to be overly dramatic... Yeah. That. But aside from that, as an animated movie, beyond just as a movie, it’s really beautiful.

1991 - FernGully: The Last Rainforest, 20th Century Fox

Not the English dub though. This is my third most favorite movie of all time, but I never got over the first 10 minutes of the English original because holy shit, that voice “actor” who plays the part of the male lead has never done voice acting, or any form of acting, before in his life and it’s just painful to listen to. But the movie itself is beautiful. Basically, it’s one half of Avatar, but in good (the other half being Pocahontas, of course). The message of saving our planet is done is such a beautiful, child-friendly way, the fairies and nature and the characters are so amazingly done and Hexor is like one of the best non-Disney-animated-movie-villains.

1992 - Aladdin, Disney

The weird part where it’s all about the hero, but in the end she’s the Disney princess and wins the fame and fortune contest, even though let’s be real, her plot in this is kinda weird. “Oh no, my life is too good”, yeah that’s such a relatable complaint especially for kids, and sicking your tiger onto a political ally is really great, princess, because even if you don’t want to get married, maybe try not to start a war, mh? And Aladdin’s approach of lying to get the girl is not the best either. What really wins wthis movie is, hands down, the Genie. Also the Sultan, who is one of my favorite Disney dads. The character dynamis and the growth of them throughout are also big plus-points.

1994 - The Lion King, Disney

This is one of the Disney movies that just hits the ball out of the park and it’s probably my third favorite Disney movie. The adorable animation. The mind-blowing songs. The compelling, eccentric villain, the emotions as you sob over Mufasa like a little child even when you’re over 20, the character design and the animals themselves, as well as the beautiful set-art. This movie is really very amazing.

1994 - The Swan Princess, Rich Animation

I mentioned once before that Toy Story is a perfect trilogy. So are this movie and its sequels. Yes, the first one is superior to its sequels and thus only it will find its way onto this list but the second and third are definite must-see movies too the others do not exist though and they should not exist. Odette is the original princess who didn’t just fall into the hero’s arms and had a love-at-first-sight romance. Disney gets props for Anna in Frozen like that’s the first time that happened, but if you look past Disney, it happened as early as 19994. Odette and Derek grow up not liking each other and when she’s pretty as a teen, he suddenly wants to marry her and she asks him why - and he answers because she’s pretty. And she flat-out rejects him. He has to fight for her heart and he falls in love with her on the way, really in love, and he makes her fall in love with him. It’s a beautiful love-story, with quirky animal sidekicks, endearing characters and beautiful animations. In many ways, this is superior to most Disney princess movies, really.

1995 - Pocahontas, Disney

I have always and will always love this movie, albeit I have to admit it’s... problematic. For children outside the US, who are only taught about US history in their teens, those “romanticized history” movies are a bit of a danger because we can easily fall to believe them to be true... er than they actually are (that there were no talking trees and that he didn’t learn the native tongue via singing, that much was obvious, thank you very much). But when you’re 14 and learn that her life was nothing like in the movie, that's kind of devastating. I feel like history is not the thing that should be romanticized like that. Still, it’s beautiful and great story-telling and characters and art and songs - even though singing them now makes you feel vaguely racist so that’s also a bit problematic?

1995 - Toy Story, Disney Pixar

I didn’t like this movie as a child. Mainly due to it being computer animated and fuck computer animation, gimme my 2D back. Yeah, I still have that mindset but by now I have learned to also appreciate animated movies. Not to mention, I think that for me as a kid the themes of betrayal and darkness (Sid’s house) were just too much as a child wheras I can very much appreciate them and see the complexity of the movie now as an adult. It’s great story-telling and if you consider that the animation is from 1995, it really holds up great (especially if you compare that with the animation from 2005′s Chicken Little, which might just be the worst animation-quality in all of Disney’s history, really).

1995 - Balto, Amblin Entertainment

Steele is one of the greatest non-Disney villains. This movie is beautifully complex because you get to follow this outcast on his journey of becoming part of society and rising to become a hero. It also got a beautiful arc of self-discovery, what with Balto’s status as a half-blood being what makes him an outcast to begin with. Not dog, but also not wolf. Yet in the end, he has to learn that he’s not neither, but rather both and that both sides are part of him and make him who he is. It’s a beautiful story about acceptance of one’s self.

1996 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Disney

Speaking of a story about accepting one’s self. This is really daring for a Disney movie, considering the lead is... deformed, whereas all Disney movies so far only include perfect people (unless villain). Also, the main character doesn’t get the girl in a semi-surprise twist. Not to mention, it brings us the first canonically gay Disney character in Hugo. Yes, he’s a gargoyle and yes, his male love-interest is a goat and yes he is not the representation you may want, but he’s the representation you’ll get, at least for now (and stop over-analyzing ridiculous shit like “Oh, two women are at the zoo with one child in Finding Dory. They must be the first lesbians *gasp*”... that is not representation, that is cheap and a throw-away). Not to mention, this movie has the best soundtrack out of all the Disney movies.

1997 - Hercules, Disney

We have a very complicated relationship, this movie and I. I love it to bits and pieces and it’s one of my favorite Disney movies, but at the same time I’ve learned to hate what an inaccurate adaptation of the Greek myths it is and particularly Hades’ misrepresentation makes me angry in a deeply seated way but on the other hand Hades is literally the most compelling and amazing Disney villain in existence. It confuses me. I love it so much, but deep down at its essence, part of me wants to hate it for what it did to my favorite god. But at the same time, I love that character in particular for being such a great villain.

1997 - Anastasia, Don Bluth

This is it. This is the best animated movie ever made. This is my favorite movie of all times. I’ve seen it at least 50 times by now - my guess, I stopped counting roughly ten years ago and I was at 27 back then. Just like Odette in Swan Princess, Anastasia actually falls in love with her love-interest. No love at first sight nonsense. They start off antagonizing each other, but learn to work together and ultimately fall in love. We have friendship, we have a great journey and also a great journey of self-discovery - but not just on Anastasia’s part, because her love interest is not just The Love Interest, he also gets his own arc of self-discovery. We have an intensely scary villain and we have beautiful, beautiful songs. Not to mention, Anastasia kicks major butt. She doesn’t need a man to save her, she saves the man and she literally kicks the villain’s ass. This movie is a masterpiece and a gem.

1998 - The Quest for Camelot, Warner Brothers

The movie is not as good as you remember it, believe me because I experienced the let-down, but it has one very major thing going for it: It includes a disabled character as a lead. Before Toph Beifong, this movie had a kick-ass blind character in it and that’s huge because it still barely happens and that’s a real shame. For that alone, it gets major props. Not to mention, it is kind of quite the unique take on the Arthurian legend and it’s a fun movie. But as a movie itself, it’s not overly outstanding, if you rewatch it now.

1998 - Mulan, Disney

While I said earlier that Fluppy Dogs is my favorite Disney movie, I’m aware that’s a lot of nostalgia talking and I know it’s not the best Disney movie. This right here is, though. The story-telling, the love-story and character development, the stakes of this movie are amazing, the emotions are intense. People cry when Mufasa or Bambi’s mom die, but I think the single most gut-wrenching moment of Disney history is when the most joyful song in the movie stops dead in its tracks and we see this destroyed village and we know that they’re all dead down there. The movie also has the single greatest moment, when all of China kneels before this one girl and acknowledges that yes, she is the one who saved China. She did this. Mulan is a heroine, but she doesn’t start out as that. She just starts out as a girl who wants to protect her father and she actually has to learn to be a hero. It’s amazing and emotional and yet still through it all funny and that is really mostly due to Mushu, who coincidentally was also the first time of me really liking Otto Waalkes (Mushu’s German voice and a very famous German comedian).

1998 - The Last Unicorn, Rankin/Bass Productions

This movie is so artistically beautiful and keeps such an amazing mystical vibe to it throughout. It’s very weird and scarily creepy at times that are maybe too much for a kid and a major downside of its German dub is that the songs are kept in English - I only realized a few years ago that the music actually tells a story, and that’s kind of disappointing to learn so late. But it’s just... breathtakingly beautiful and tragically sad.

1998 - The Prince of Egypt, DreamWorks

I really loathed this movie as a child. Mainly due to its Christan themes and I just got enough of that in class where they shoved it down our throats, not to mention among all the religions, Christian myths are like the most miserable, dark and scary ones, in my opinion. That movie was so not child-friendly. It was so dark and scary and brutal and miserable. Now, as an adult, I can totally appreciate those tones and I marvel at the amazing story-telling, but as a child? I was scared of this movie and I did not like it. But the animation, story-telling and the music are amazing and it really blew my mind when I rewatched it as a late teen.

1999 - The Iron Giant, Warner Brothers

I watched this movie for the first time this year, because my favorite YouTube nerds keep bringing it up during Movie Fights, so I figured I’d check it out considering I never heard of it before. I guess it must have slipped through the cracks. So I saw it for the first time, 20 years after its release. And you just don’t notice that. The animation, the story-telling, the movie - it completely holds up. It’s such a sweet but also sad story about friendship. It’s really great.

2000 - The Road to El Dorado, DreamWorks

I did not like this movie as a child. Don’t even really know why, to be honest. But when I rewatched it as a teen, I really loved it a lot. Miguel and Tulio are such great, complex characters and their journey together is amazing. Not to mention, I will never stop being upset about the fact that DreamWorks chickened out of making them the first canonically gay couple in an animated movie - which yes, was the first draft for this movie. It’d have been amazing if they had pulled through with it, really. I think that is why I hate Chel so much - and my hatred for her might be the root for why I disliked this movie as a kid. Because Chel was literally just created to get between Miguel and Tulio. But other than her, this movie is rock-solid.

2001 - Shrek, DreamWorks

Definitely not the best, but a fun movie and innovative in its parodic nature. Also has fun characters and an original story and I appreciate the way they inverted the original Disney tropes.

2001 - Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Disney

Again, one of those movies that didn’t work for me as a kid but ever since I’ve been a late teen, I watched it probably ten times because it’s amazing. It’s complex, has great character developing and story-telling and it has such a diverse cast and an original idea. I’m really sad that, most likely due to its complexity, it kinda flopped and fell flat. But, if there is one movie that does deserve the Disney live-action remake treatment, it’d be this because this movie deserves the attention and I think that in today’s time, it would do so much better.

2001 - Monsters, Inc., Disney Pixar

This was actually the first Pixar movie that I liked right away. It had cute and fun characters, a fascinating concept behind its story and it was both funny and emotional.

2002 - Ice Age, Blue Sky

They’re completely driving this franchise into the ground, but the first one was really good. I have a weakness for those “ragtag team of misfits needs to band together” kind of stories, if you haven’t noticed. And this movie does it in such a fresh, new setting. It was really enjoyable.

2002 - Lilo & Stitch, Disney

After Mulan, the best Disney movie there is. This movie is so incredibly deep and emotinonal that it never ceases to blow my mind. The sibling-love, this way they deal with the emotions and with Lilo and Stitch and both their arcs of self-discovery is just singular. There is no other movie like this.

2002 - Treasure Planet, Disney

A vastly underrated Disney movie, really. It’s spectacularly done and has such a great story-arc and development and emotional scale, not to mention the imagery that it offers. So beautiful and so much fun.

2003 - Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, DreamWorks

After rewatching and falling for The Prince of Egypt and The Road of El Dorado, I decided to rewatch all the movies I disliked as a child to see if I would actually end up liking them - and this one is another one of those. It has such an epic scale and does the one thing I missed about Hercules; it gives us the monsters and gods in mindblowing sizes and scenes. Eris, also, the greatest DreamWorks villain of all time, while still keeping her mythologically in character.

2005 - Hoodwinked, Kanbar Animation

The animation of this movie does not hold up. It looks outdated, yes. But the story-telling is superb. The parody-twist to the tale of Red Riding Hood, added with how it’s perceived by the different characters, as well as the humor of it. I remember in 2006, after it was released, I was really sick that one week and I literally watched it 32 times in a row. It was just so innovative in the way it was told and I really enjoyed how clever it was. Also, I was really out of my mind with that cold or otherwise I might have also wathced another movie or two...

2006 - Over the Hedge, DreamWorks

This is such a fun movie. I enjoy a good redemption story of an anti-hero who realizes that scamming the good guys ain’t the way to go. The fact that said anti-hero is a racoon only makes it all the better.

2007 - Ratatouille, Disney Pixar

It’s such a cute story and such an interesting take on story-telling that makes me like this movie, even though it’s not very deep and doesn’t have the most fleshed-out characters.

2008 - Kung Fu Panda, DreamWorks

The first one ought to be on this list, because it was fresh, it was funny and it was cute. The way the different characters played out and played with each other was really nice. Also, great action, for a kid’s animated movie anyway.

2008 - Wall-E, Disney Pixar

This is an amazing movie. With its message and story-telling, the way it connects to the viewer even though there’s basically no dialogue in it for most of the movie. I think as a kid I would have so not enjoyed it because of the lack of dialogue and its heavier tones regarding the overall message, but when I watched it when it came out - and I was 16 back then - I really enjoyed it.

2008 - Bolt, Disney

I adore Bolt. I mean, I feel totally cheated because the trailer was cut to make it look like we were actually getting the Bolt series from within the movie as the actual movie and the idea of a super-dog was really cool, but even as it stood, it was a great movie and Mittens’ arc was particularly amazing in it.

2009 - Up, Disney Pixar

Honestly, doesn’t really deserve to be on the list if you see it as an overall movie. Most people get hung up on the first ten minutes of it - and those ten minutes alone are a masterpiece and would totally win as a short-movie. But there is a lot more to this movie. And it ain’t that amazing, really. It’s funny and quirky, sure, but definitely not outstanding. It’s quite ridiculous, even for an animated movie. But for the first ten minutes alone, this movie deserves to be on this list.

2009 - The Princess and the Frog, Disney

Again, doesn’t quite deserve to be on this list in my opinion, because I hate how it completely disregards the original fairy tale - starting a startlingly concerning trend for Disney here - and the blatant plotholes. It gets plus-points for being 2D again and for introducing the first black princess, but personally I think the first black princess would have deserved better than this. I understand why this movie flopped, really. Even if it’s still a cute and nice movie, it is far below average by Disney standards.

2010 - How to Train Your Dragon, DreamWorks

Oh, this movie is glorious. I have to admit, this movie is actually why I went and rewatched all those other DreamWorks movies that I used to hate as a kid, because this movie was the first time DreamWorks became an actual household name, to me. Before that, DreamWorks was just another one of those “non Disney companies” and that was it. With this movie, for the first time, they earned themselves their own name and category in my mind and made me rediscover a lot of actually great movies. The story-telling in this movie is just so great and it gets extra credit for its adorable dragon characters that are so lovable and individual. Not to mention, this movie spawned an amazing animated cartoon series.

2010 - Despicable Me, Illumination

The first one is actually a really great and beautiful movie about family and self-discovery. And then the Minions took over and this franchise sank faster than the Titantic.

2010 - Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole, DreamWorks

This might be the most beautifully animated movie in history. It is simply gorgeous and even if you just watch it for the aesthetics, you have to see it. Though it also has a very compelling story. I just think it’s a bit too dark and too realistically animated to resonate with children, which might just be why it flopped too. But when I watched it when it came out, I really enjoyed it because it is more for an older teen audience.

2010 - Megamind, DreamWorks

Such a great, vastly underrated movie. It’s so much fun, it’s so fresh and new while playing with old and overused tropes and the characters are really refreshingly quirky.

2010 - Tangled, Disney

Mixed feelings for that one. Hate how much they altered the original tale, but still enjoy this movie as it stands. It’s so cute and sweet and how they actually take the time to fall in love is just as beautiful. Not to mention, Flynn Rider is definitely the most compelling male Disney hero/prince there is, right after Hercules.

2012 - Brave, Disney Pixar

It’s so nice to have a princess who actually stays single. Though, honestly, with the options offered to her... not a surprise. At least one of them could have been at the very least handsome, to show that it takes more than just good looks to love someone. But that all options presented were also... not nice to look at was just so typically superficial of Disney that it was a bit disappointing.

2012 - Hotel Transylvania, Sony Pictures

This is just so funny and cute. The monsters as dorky characters, the fun of it all. This movie is just a good time, whether you’re a kid or not. And I have to say, after I did mention in many of these entries that they only really connected with me as an adult, I want to include a movie that’s a bit more... simple and just real fun, because those animated movies should be fun for kids too.

2012 - Wreck-It Ralph, Disney

I think this would have been so much cooler with more casual gaming cameos - and I’m saying this as a non-gamer, but seeing characters like Link or Mario or someone recognizable there would have been real cool and I’m hoping for that in the second one. Still, the way the princess trope and the villain trope were handled here was just brilliant and it’s such a sweet story that that alone makes it a must-watch.

2012 - Rise of the Guardians, DreamWorks

And we’ve reached it. The best computer animated movie of all times, my second favorite movie of all times (after Anastasia, the number one spot for 2D animated movie). This is a true masterpiece. I marvel at its animation - the frost in particular is just so beautiful simply to look at, but also the dream-sand and the characters. The story-telling is so gorgeous to watch, the characters are so sweet and amazing - and it gets special bonus-points for not forcing an unnecessariy love-story into this as so many other movies do even though it’s not really a good fit for the overall movie. Also, I just adore Jack Frost as a character. If there is only one movie from this list that you’re going to watch, then please make it this one, even above Anastasia.

2013 - The House of Magic, Touchstone Pictures

This is a smaller scale movie, but it’s very sweet. This story of finding your place in the world, finding acceptance and a family is just one that will never get old. And if it’s told through talking animals and a cute stray little kitten, that’s a simple hook right there, really.

2014 - The Nut Job, Open Roads Film

I have been told that this movie is not as good as I think it is and I don’t care. It’s a heist movie with a purple squirrel in the lead role as an anti-hero with a redemption arc and it doesn't have any unnecessary love-story forced into it; it is as great as I think it is.

2014 - Big Hero 6, Disney

If you haven’t cried like a baby in this movie, you’re dead inside. This, also, a movie I would not have enjoyed that much as a kid because it’s so dark, so much death. Killing off the brother of a boy who already is an orphan and then having that ending, it's just brutal for a kids’ movie. But it’s also beautiful and amazing and the team-dynamics and fun are great as well as the action and it actually deals with the process of grieving and doesn’t just throw it away carelessly as most others tended to do in the past.

2014 - Mune: Guardian of the Moon | Mune, le gardien de la lune, On Animation Studios

This is such an artistically beautiful movie that I would have probably never found if not for a reader of mine who recommended it to me. It’s gorgeous and the mythology created in this movie, about the guardians of the sun and moon, is so rich and amazing. It’s so cute and compelling and I really think more people should know that it exists.

2015 - Inside Out, Disney

Again, not a movie I’d have liked much as a kid. Way too deep and meta, really. This whole psychological aspect and the depth of it are what make it so compelling and amazing, but also why I wouldn’t have liked it as a child. It’s kind of fun, but mostly it’s really deep. Also, a bit questionable in its choices of “emotions in charge of literally EVERY being”... they should have skipped the tagged on credit scene where we see that literally everyone has those very same emotions in charge. How does Disgust beat out feelings like Hatred, Love, Friendship... and also reduces some of those into islands instead of actual emotions? Yeah, a bit problematic there. But overall a great movie.

2016 - Leap! | Ballerina, L'Atelier Animation

It’s such a cute story about friendship, family and finding your own way in life. It’s also really compelling to see a character with a passion about something, but zero natural talent. The way she has to work hard to learn and become a great ballerina is half the fun of this movie.

2016 - Zootopia, Disney

I’ve been salty with Disney since Frozen and though Big Hero 6 and Inside Out were good, this was the one that restored my faith in Disney again after that huge ass disappointment. This is such a great story about friendship and redemption - even if it’s just the redemption in one’s own eyes. Not to mention; a fox and a bunny. Literally two of my three most favorite animals. It’s so good. So much fun. I mean, they totally overdid it when they faked Judy’s death because the kids around me in the theater strated crying and wailing because that was just a little too close to looking real for a child to understand that it’s not. Keep your audience in mind, Disney.

2016 - Moana, Disney

Ah, the last entry for this. The newest Disney princess. I really enjoyed this movie a lot. It was beautifully made, it was a lot of fun, had good musical numbers, was a very interesting story with an amazing pseudo-plot-twist there at the end (I mean, come on, it was really very obvious literally right from the start, but still brilliantly executed and very emotional). Also, again, princess who not just stays single but where finding a husband doesn’t even have to be mentioned. Very refreshing.

#Disney #Animated Movies #DreamWorks #Illumination #Don Bluth #Timeline of animated Movies #Best of List

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