#creating shadow. a child dies that drives them nuts. its too perfect

[shittyastroboydrawings]

got a little funny post for ya

some beta designs...

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Queen Of The Damned”

In the whole eternity, The Queen of the Underworld only loved once: he was mortal and died shortly after she gave him a child. So when The Joker says he’s a Prince, he’s not actually lying or being a presumptuous lunatic: the green haired man is in fact royalty and sole heir to The Realm Below.

“Stop fidgeting!!!” the nurse admonishes. “This is a new experimental drug and it will help you, OK?” she tries to reason with the patient confined inside a straitjacket, heavy chains bounding him to the metal table.

“Let me go!” he hisses and tries to bite her as she checks his neck for pulse.

“I can’t let you go, Mister Joker. We’re trying to make you better, alright?” the caregiver dodges his teeth before J can sink them in her flesh.

“If you don’t untie me, my Mother will come!!! She doesn’t like it if I’m in danger!”

“Shut the hell up, you insane bastard!” the attending physician can’t hold in his bitterness while mixing the serum.

“Doctor Reeves!” the woman raises her voice. “That’s not the way we talk! I know you are new at Arkham Asylum, but I would really appreciate it if you treat our cases with respect!”

“I’m sorry,” the physician apologizes for his unprofessional remark. “He gets on my nerves!”

“Yes well… Please keep your personal opinions to yourself because they’re not doing any good! The patient is very agitated; would you like me to take over?” she offers and gets cut off.

“I don’t need your expertise, I’m a doctor for God’s sake!”

“I wasn’t implying otherwise,” the nurse sighs at his obvious crankiness; why does she have to be stuck during the night shift with Reeves?! Arkham’s South Wing is already harboring the worst criminals and a psychiatrist that took the job for the thrills can’t possibly render assistance to the troubled convicts incarcerated here.

“I’m done,” he taps the syringe and approaches The Joker when the lights suddenly flicker. “Another power outage?! The storm is not that bad!” the guy rants and doesn’t realize the prisoner is not struggling to escape anymore.  

“My Mother’s coming!” the most demented smile flourishes on The Joker’s lips. “I warned you!” he maniacally starts laughing with delight. “You should have listened!”

A low rumble shakes the immense building and the convoluted hallways fill up with mist: the Queen of The Realm Below steps in the world of the living again, surrounded by her loyal army of twisted warriors.

“Protect The Prince!” the invisible wraiths shriek, crawling on the walls in order to destroy the cameras. Some fly through brick and metal with the sole purpose of fulfilling their ruler’s command: no greater honor than aid her son trapped in the human kingdom.

He often gets in trouble and somehow miraculously vanishes or avoids hazardous situations; this is his first time at Arkham and the authorities will believe tonight’s events are an inside job or simply an elaborate breakout plotted by The Joker’s team.

Ironically enough The King of Gotham is not even crazy: his mind works on a totally different level due to the unearthly heritage. There is no cure for a person that’s not sick, no medicine or therapy allegedly mending something that’s not fractured.

“Why isn’t the generator kicking in?” Reeves stares at the ceiling and the nurse carefully listens, pointing out a disturbing detail:

“Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” the doctor crinkles his nose. “It’s silent.”

“Exactly,” she mutters. “Why is it so quiet?”

“I have no idea,” he prepares to poke The Joker’s arm when the halogen bulbs instantly go out. “Ana, can you…” the psychiatrist mumbles as the lights turn back on. “Finally!” he turns towards the woman and gasps at the frightening apparition standing next to him. Your sword whooshes in the stillness and the corpse falls to the ground, abruptly followed by the caregiver’s: both didn’t have the opportunity to process what they saw by pure coincidence. It was gone in a second along with their existence.

The Queen towers over the medical ward, slowly taking off her helmet; her hair intensely burns, eternally fueled by the fires of The Underworld.

“You came!” The Joker face brightens up with pure happiness noticing the creatures’ claws release him from his constraints: they grumble, coo and chirp seeing The Prince is safe and sound; he pets a few kneeling at his feet while rushing in your arms. “Mother!” J sniffles and you hold him tight until his body relaxes a little bit.

“Are you hurt?” you whisper and your son pouts, burying his cheeks in the cold silver of your plated armor.

“No,” the muffled word prompts a kiss on his forehead; The Joker lets go, unwilling to watch his mother depart: he’s aware she can’t linger for too long, yet the desire to stay close to her never fades. “When are you going to take me with you?” the piercing blue eyes inherited from his father glare into yours.

“Soon,” the elusive reply makes him frown.

“You promised and I’m always left behind!”

How can you explain why he’s still here?... J wouldn’t comprehend what coming with you to The Realm Below means: he would have to get rid of his mortal shell and you just don’t have the strength to witness him die.  

Despite the horrifying moniker, The Queen of The Damned is neither good nor evil; her actions are invariably guided by circumstances.

She takes care of lost, damaged spirits and although powerful and feared, Y/N is also the recipient of her legions’ constant devotion, for no other Monarch of The Underworld ever enjoyed being cherished by its subject as much as you are.

The abomination born from her love with a human didn’t diminish the horde’s allegiance: it actually made them adore The Queen more because affection is desperately craved in The Realm Below and they can’t wait to have a Prince willing to share his Mother’s duties!

But The Joker’s arrival keeps on getting postponed…  

“You know what I’ll do?” J mischievously snickers. “I’m gonna call my crew and tell them to pick me up. The mystery of how I’m able to walk out of this place without their intervention will drive them nuts! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!” his sinister chuckle resonates in the room; he feels such gratification thinking about it one could presume he’s in a cheerful disposition. “Did you clear the path for me?” The Prince inquires and the entities snarl, excited he’s paying attention to their mighty deeds. “Perfect!” your son praises. “I’ll signal when to open the gates, ok?”

They growl at his approval and you have to interrupt the joyful mood:

“I have to go…”

“Is dad waiting for you?” J asks, already guessing the answer.

“Yes,” you nod and reassure: “Don’t worry, I’ll return when you need me!”

Before the sentence ends The Queen disappears, abandoning her descendant inside the Arkham Asylum. The Joker sulks, upset he can’t follow you and gets distracted by the commotion created on the other side of Block H: apparently some guards weren’t annihilated as expected.

“You said you cleared the path!” he scolds and picks up the phone, dialing Frost’s number. “No matter, I’ll get reinforcements and we’ll make this a party on our own, hm?” the silver grin widens at the concept of fighting his way out himself.

In the meantime, J’s mother materializes by the Endless Wall that separates The Realm Below from The Realm Above: its transparent, glass like composition is meant to keep you apart from the man you love. Why?

The response is easy: The King reigning over The Realm Above always craved your fondness and felt betrayed when you gave your attention to a mere human; deciding to give Kai a child was the epitome of mockery for the jealous emperor. He never accepted your choices had nothing to do with him. Thus he took the matters in his own hands and ensured Kai’s demise, making certain you won’t be able to save him: the mortal you loved was killed in a car crash and went to The Realm Above, which was the plan all along. Since The Joker’s father was at peace when he passed and not a lost, broken soul, he didn’t wind up in your kingdom; The Emperor sealed the borders as soon as Kai appeared on his domain, making sure you won’t touch or hear each other again.  

You tried to break the spell without success: only the one that casted such magic could reverse it and The King has no intention to do so. He likes torturing The Queen of The Damned and her beloved, that’s why he lingers in the shadows to glutton at their agony every time they meet.

Today is no exception and it sure brings The Emperor great comfort to view the aftermath of his revolting actions: it probably hurts because you’re unable to do more than gaze at the man you love. Such a fit punishment for a stuck-up Queen rejecting his proposal. You sure got what you deserved! All the powers you possess are useless against his impenetrable curse unleashed out of pure resentment.

Hmm… what’s going on?... You suddenly seem flustered and The King is trying to estimate on the motive; Kai keeps on calling your name, yet you can’t discern the sounds anyway. You swiftly fade in a hurry, neglecting to wave goodbye for a valid pretext: the sharp ache in your chest alerted that something awful happened to your son.

**************  

The Joker is lying on the floor, almost unconscious from the blood loss. The red stain under him is growing bigger and bigger, reaching the collapsed security officers that stood between J and his freedom. He was overly hyped and decided to create mayhem: being reckless provoked the dark side of his personality and he didn’t wait for his gang nor allowed the wraiths to intervene.

The Clown Prince of Crime definitely counts on his Mother’s aid, therefore he doesn’t have to worry about consequences to his endeavors. He trusts you won’t fail to show up and get him out of messy situations like this one.

“M-mother…”, The Joker wheezes as you hover over him. “Mother… h-help me…”, he begs and your hesitation puzzles your heir; his father distracted you and in exchange J got severely injured.

“… …. …. I won’t… I can’t have your father, but I’ll take you…” The Queen confesses, adamant to overcome her delay in fulfilling his wish for years. Maybe she won’t be determined like she is now if another chance will arise in the future.

“Really?...” the hope in his tone makes you sadder. “Mother…” he winces in pain, trying to touch you. “Please h-help me…It…it hurts…”

You grab his fingers and squeeze them in yours, pecking his tattooed knuckles.

“I know…I’m sorry…”

“W-why won’t you…” and he pauses, taking a last labored breath, “…help m-me?!...”

His eyelids are closing, the individual labeled as one of the worse criminals lastly fleeing the prison of his mortal half. The Joker is dead and The Prince of The Realm Below emerges from his remains, stunned to wake up next to you.

“Mother?...” he blinks and you cup his face, relieved you had the courage to do what  you deferred in the past.

“It’s ok,” you smile. “You’ll get used to the sensation, give it a few moments,” you pass your hand to his burning hair, amazed at the terrifying beauty he was blessed with thanks to his ancestry.

“Boss!!!”

“Mister Joker!!”

“Mister J, where are you?” the questions echo in the deserted Block H: his henchmen finally infiltrated the area, spooked at the unnerving feeling that something is shady. When they arrived, the Asylum’s gates were open; nobody around on the street, no guards, no medical personnel, nobody they could spot anywhere on their way to pick up The Joker as instructed.

“Over here!” Frost shouts and rushes to The Joker’s corpse, swiftly taking his pulse. “Shit!” he mumbles when he detects no heartbeat.

“What the fuck?!” Panda is the second to stumble on the scene, baffled to notice his employer covered in blood wearing just a pair of sweatpants.

“We need to get out this instant!” Frost commands as the others join the small group. “Help me carry him!”

“J?..” a woman’s voice emerges. “J?” the visibly pregnant Ava runs on the empty corridor. “Oh my God!” she panics when she sees them trying to lift him up. “J?” she gently caresses his face, panicked when there’s no movement. “Is he dead?” she presses on his wounds and starts crying since the guys are quiet. “Aren’t you going to do anything??!!” she screams, desperate to acknowledge not too much can be done.

“… Mother…” The Prince articulates and you already predict his request: “… Can I stay?”

Who else understands him better to begin with? He loves the mortal and you can relate to his anguish. Of course he wants to go with you also, yet there are things that are holding him back in the human world.

“I suppose I’m condemned to ages of loneliness…” you utter and give him a violent nudge before you change your mind.

The Prince falls back into his body; The Joker gasping for air makes Frost and Panda almost drop him on the marble floor.

“J!” Ava exclaims in disbelief. “Baby??!!” she brings her ear to his lips because he’s saying something.

“Mother… Mother…” J faintly repeats and the woman misinterprets. “Yes, I’m going to be a mom and you’re going to be a dad. You already know this, hm?” she caresses his face. “Be careful!” Ava reprimands as they wrap Richard’s jacket around The Joker and Panda drags a stretcher next to them.

“Jesus boss, we thought we lost you!” Jonny adds and barely deciphers his reply:

“You’re not that lucky…”

The Joker keeps staring at The Queen and the army hidden to the rest of them: she’s leaving and although weakened, he wants to apologize for generating more sorrow when she doesn’t deserve it.

“Forgive me…” J whispers and your last words only he can discern give him unexpected bliss:

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

**************

You come near the transparent wall, seeking to find consolation even if it’s impossible: Kay is on the other side, the palm of his right hand against the invisible barrier. You cover it with yours, wishing you could tell him so much but what’s the point?...  He can’t hear you.

“I couldn’t bring him with me,” The Queen whispers nevertheless. “He wanted to stay… and I couldn’t force him…”

Something is trickling down your face and you touch it, confused.

What is this?! Tears don’t exist in The Underworld; a few drip on the barrier and it starts sizzling to your legion’s dismay. They sniff the bubbly fumes, curiously scratching at the expanding chain reaction: the wall is melting.

You and Kay watch the gap becoming larger and larger until there’s enough space to fit. Is this real or an illusion?!

I guess you’ll have to find out so you take a few shaky steps towards him, not being able to suppress your astonishment when he yanks you in his arms.  

The Emperor is lurking in the shadows, furious his unbreakable magic is dissipating with each passing moment. Your warriors are granted free passage again and they spill inside The Kingdom Above, howling while awaiting orders.  

As she hugs the man she loves, The Mother of lost spirits sneers through her clenched teeth:

“Attack!”

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[colalette-blog]

Perte d'Innocence

A Short Story Loss is something we all go through, whether it is major like the loss of a loved one, or a loss of your favorite key chain. It is something that plagues us all from the most minuet to major.

Loss is something I have experience more than my fair share. In some ways, I can’t explain to anyone without fearing everyone thinking I’m insane.

It’s the pain deep in your chest that breaks a part your soul, that cold threading ache that makes it hard to breathe. It’s laying alone in your bed at night, that freezes the blood in your veins, holding yourself and burying your body in blankets trying to find warmth that will never come again.

Everyone says that it fades in time, you can heal and that it will eventually go away. But it doesn’t.

It numbs itself, and it will go dormant like a volcano, like in life, people will build their homes on its sleepy slopes, thinking that it’s lost in the test of time. Until their lives are suddenly shaken and their homes are lain to waste in a cloud of ash and fire.

When that pain resurfaces, it knocks you in the softest, most vulnerable places in your heart, to where you end up on the kitchen floor, holding your knees as you weep for time loss, and the pieces of yourself you’ve lost along the way. Weep for the feelings you’d give anything to have again, for the arms you’d give anything to be in. Praying for it to stop, begging and pleading with what’s left of your soul to make the pain stop or to go back into the numb place where you can forget about it for just a little while longer.

Or when it creeps in on you at night, while you think you were sleeping well, resting in that infantile bliss and vulnerability. When your suddenly you’re in a hospital where you never will be, giving birth to a child that will never exist, screaming in pain as he; Him, your lost love, holding your hand and cheering you on as you give every bit of strength to push out the life you both created together. His silken dark brown hair mussed up, his sharp almond eyes, the brown swirling with worry in them, his plush lips curled in a grimace at seeing you in agony. His dog tags clanging as he moves as you move. That five ‘o’clock shadow he never let you see, showing dark on his face, restless bags under his eyes. Then it stops…

You wake up, out of breath, that cold thread of despair tangling in your soul, squeezing until tears are forced out of your eyes. Clasping your chest, you curse your subconscious and the vicious attack it’s plagued on. You had a great day, someone made you smile, you got praised at work, it was pay day and you felt like the stress of the week was gone. Guess again.

You unwillingly fall back asleep, because despite that your mind is tearing you apart, your body pleads for rest and you eventually give in.

Again, the world is swaying when you open your eyes in the dream. You’re half asleep in a rocking chair, in the dusk light in the baby room he surprised you with. A soft pallet of blues, both of your favorite colors, your son, Brandon, fast asleep in your arms. The little one, named after his father who died over seas. And there he is, smiling, watching you, in a chair just off to the side. And everything is perfect. He leans over and plants a warm kiss on your forehead. You can smell his scent, warming you from your toes to ears. The soft “I love you, babe” in that unserious Californian surfer voice, that makes you get that goofy smile that only love can give. He always reminded you of the beach….

The alarm goes off, and you snap away, waking up crying, begging to go back to that happy, perfect place. Wishing you’d have died during that dream so you never left, or gone into a coma, in an endless loop of waking up and seeing him every day. That cold terror, that you’re now facing your entire life, without him. You’re never going to see him, except in pictures, never going to have your silly fights, where you drove each other nuts, and ended up fighting until he finally kissed your crazy away.

You both always swore, that you were Jackie and Kelso from That 70’s Show and just like them, no matter what, you would end up together…But fate has a cruel way to making sure true happiness doesn’t survive in this hateful world…

The day you found out he was leaving…you begged, pleaded, bribed. Let’s defect to Canada, Baby you speak Spanish, let’s go to Mexico. Your friend has family there, they’d help us. You can’t go, it’s too dangerous in the Middle East for a solider. You’ll die. You can’t leave us, me, our future!

He said he had to go, he wanted to make his father proud, he wanted us to have a life free from worry. We weren’t even married, he said he didn’t want to until he had made something of himself. Not just another mostly Japanese man doing computer work. Maybe later in life. But now he had to do this.

I remember the day you left for the airport, I sat in my car and cried for hours after I dropped you off. You promised me that everything would be okay. You would come back, and we’re start that life we always talked about…

The day the phone call came, you were in kitchen making lunch, the plate fell and shattered on the ground, you slumped against the fridge and slid down, feeling of shock instantly taking over you. Your head rushing with blood, the world darkening around the edges…Gone. He wasn’t coming home.

Shrapnel they said, hit their caravan, he was driving, it was instant. You feel like you’re going to throw up so you scrambled across the kitchen, and heave into the can. Dizzy, your so dizzy. The world is spinning, everything you hoped and planned and wished, was gone. You numbly stagger to your feet, and stumbled to your bed, and fall in.

His body wasn’t being returned to the states, it was being returned to his mother in Japan. I wouldn’t even be able to attend the funeral. For days, I was laid up in bed, I didn’t eat, I didn’t drink, I don’t even think I slept during that week. I don’t remember most of it…I could have been in my bed or Mars, it wouldn’t have made a difference.

They don’t tell you, how a part of you dies with them, how you can feel parts of your heart and soul rotting in your body while you continue to try to make it through every, single, day alone. No amount of family or friends can remove the decay. They’ll try. They’ll tell you it will be okay, and give you fake smiles and false words encouragement. He’d want you to be happy, he wouldn’t want you wasting away, live for him now, it’s what he would have wanted.

Bullshit.

He wanted to come home, he wanted to have a family, he wanted us to grow old together, he never wanted us to be apart for more than we had to be. He wanted to be happy, not dead…

It wears you down, eventually you want to run away, and I did.

But it doesn’t make it better…You can’t run away from yourself, your feelings, your pain. Instead you sit in your kitchen, in your house, something you were supposed to do together. Holding your knees as you weep for time loss, and the pieces of yourself you’ve lost along the way. Weep for the feelings you’d give anything to have again, for the arms you’d give anything to be in. Praying for it to stop, begging and pleading with what’s left of your soul to make the pain stop or to go back into the numb place where you can forget about it for just a little while longer…

If only we could stay numb forever…