#crazydaughtercrazyfather

[poohnotpiku]

Pooh & Dad

Today let me introduce my Dad, the primary reason why people link me to Piku!

Dad is not old like Amit ji’s character in Piku, but his body is like that of a 70-years old with many ailments. Life has not been fair to him or, may be, he has not been fair to life…we will not go there…Coming back to Dad’s age, he is just 3 years senior to Mr. Salman Khan (the first official hunk of Bollywood) :D

I would not want to bore you guys with Dad’s medical history but will point out his two major health-problems around which his life revolves.

First comes his ‘Bowel Movement’ (yeahhhh…go ahead….link this to Piku!). I am not sure what’s with these aged men and their bowels! (Inner Pooh : “At least, it’s the most important thing for Dad!”)

His second issue (which he is not aware of) is his Bipolar Disorder. Depending on where his mind is on the Bipolar scale, I am his ‘Gulab Jamun’ one day and a ‘Hellcat’ on other days!! I can accept Hellcat but which girl (Inner Pooh : “You mean old lady!”) would like to be compared to a GULAB JAMUN??? If it was a perfect Haldiram’s gulab jamun, made with pure ghee, dipped in saffron infused syrup, with a silver coating and a topping of pista, it would still have been great! But I am more comparable to those poor gulab jamuns in a dingy sweet-shop with sad-looking faces and no ghee or silver coating (forget pista!!). Now you see? We want to be Candies of the World and not damn Gulab Jamuns (Dear God…another item to be addressed in my next-life!!!)

Life with Dad is a mixture of laughter, tears, and anger. It’s a real roller-coaster ride! Let me share few funny anecdotes from Pooh&Dad archives.

Scene#1 :

I am in a deep sleep, floating away in the void of outer-space…. suddenly there is a bright light…(Inner Pooh – “Has the Sun blasted???”)….I wake-up with a start…my eyes flew open….I am back on my bed…..and as I see upwards, I see Dad staring down at me….Inner Pooh shriekkssss….

Me : “What is it Dadda? Why have you switched on the lights? It’s 4am!!!”

Dad : “Are you sleeping?”

Inner Pooh : “Yeah we are sleeping and now we are sleep-talking with you!!!!”

Me : “I WAS sleeping, now I am awake…What happened?”

Dad : “It’s ok, if you are sleeping we can talk in the morning…”

Inner Pooh : “grrrrrrrrrr…..”

Me : “Abhi I am awake…bolo na…what is it?”

Dad : “I was thinking when I will get well, you book me a 3-tier Railway ticket to Amritsar…I will go own my own…I need to visit Amritsar again…”

Inner Pooh : “Yesss…we too NEED to go to Paris….so we will first drop you off at Amritsar and then fly away…”

Me : “Ohk…we will discuss this later…first get well and stabilize your body….now let me sleep…”

Dad : ……

Inner Pooh : --------

Me : …….

Dad : ….

Inner Pooh : ????

Me : “Dad please switch off the lights now!!”

Dad (while switching off the light) : “Accha(btw), I did not had my bowels since two days, you are not giving me my Dulcoflex (laxative) tablets??”

Inner Pooh : “Not Again, Old Man!!!!”

Me : “Wait till tomorrow, if the issue persists, I will give you an extra dose!”

Lights off, Dad and his cane walk away…..Inner Pooh dozes off…..But Me?? I am left wide-awake, praying for my dearie sleep to return!!!!

Scene#2 :

Dad is a very bigggggg fan of Amit ji (Mr. Amitabh Bacchan). In fact he has literally asked me to find out Amit ji’s mobile number so that he can talk to him directly…(Inner Pooh : “Yeahhh, why not?He has his number published in wikipedia!!!”).

One day Dad was looking at Amit ji’s pic in the newspaper and calls me over and says : ”You have no idea what a big superstar he is….he is the DON!!”

I left the room, rolling my eyes (what else to say)….

But this gave me an idea to gift him a framed pic of Amit ji. I searched online, could not find any option….and then I went to our local photographer’s (who will be referred to as Bhaiya henceforth) shop….and….

Me : “Bhaiya, show me some photo-frames….”

Bhaiya : “Madam ji…look at this one….this is beautiful….” (he shows me 2 heart-shaped frames joined in the middle with lovey-dovey symbols all over)

Inner Pooh : “Ewwww…..”

Me : “Not this one bhaiya…show me a ‘simple’ one….”

He excavates an old box, from inside the box he takes out one dual frame piece…old but simple design…I had to take that one. Those where pandemic days…..I was lucky to even find this guy’s shop open…

Me : “Do you have internet? Please search for Amitabh Bacchan and Dharmendra (Dharam ji is dad’s another favorite) and let’s download one good-looking picture of each… you then print them out and put them in this frame…”

Bhaiya looks at me as if I have gone mad!!!

Bhaiya : “For whom are you getting this?”

Inner Pooh : “Should we tell him it’s for Dad? He will think we all are insane!!!”

Me : “It’s for an old uncle…he has his 80th birthday coming up…so just want to give him something which he will cherish…”

Bhaiya looks satisfied with the explanation and I leave the shop with a sighhhhh…..

The frame, with Amit ji’s and Dharam ji’s pic is still lying on Dad's bedside table….And every time I see the frame, I just can’t help smiling….

Scenario#3 :

I am in a meeting with my screen shared and presenting to my seniors in another part of the globe…..suddenly in my corner-vision I feel some disturbance….I look up from the screen and find Dad standing there, with his cane in one hand and beckoning me by doing gestures with his other hand…I do my random hand symbols to explain to him that I am in a meeting….but no use….he starts speaking in his loud voice…I excuse myself from the meeting, go on mute (Inner Pooh : “Thank God!! Else it would have been a live Indian drama for our foreigner colleagues…”)

Me : “I am in a meeting….What do you need?”

Dad : “I need 2minutes of your busy schedule….” (He stresses on the word busy)

Me : “Ohk…What is it?”

Dad : “You think you are the Lord of this house…you will control everyone….but I am telling you…you cannot control me…I will do whatever I want to do…you will not stop me…I do not need you or anyone…”

Inner Pooh : “Ooppsss…He has started again…moving towards other end of his Bipolar scale….note to call the psychiatrist…”

Me : “Okies…do whatever you want to do….now will you let me continue my meeting?’

Dad : …..

Inner Pooh : ……

Me : ……

Dad : “Ok….When you have time….play Anil Kapoor’s Laadla movie on my TV… “ (Mr. Anil Kapoor is Dad’s latest ‘crush’ :D )

Me : “Okkkk”

After completing my meeting, I go to his room and take the remote control and start surfing for ‘Laadla’ movie (Dad’s somehow not comfortable with any technological advancements….)

Dad : “Next time DeeDee comes, I will ask her to teach me how to operate this YouTube thing…”

Inner Pooh : “He has no expectations from you…LOL”

Me : “Where is the damn alphabet L…oh it’s here….now where is A?...”

Inner Pooh : “How I hate searching for anything on this television…such maze-like keyboards and you need to click each damn button one by one!!! If only you could handle advance technology, it would save so much of my precious time....”

Dad : “This Anil Kapoor Guy is also too good….there is no one like Amitabh….but Anil Kapoor is also a great actor….”

Me (still struggling with the on-screen keyboard): “Where are you hiding damn ‘D’….ahh…found you!!!”

Inner Pooh desperately looking at the recommendations panel of YouTube to show me ‘Laadla movie’ and stop me from typing anymore!!!

YouTube AI rocksss….we found the movie in the suggestions panel….set it to play….Mission Accomplished!!

Dad : “If you have sometime in your busy schedule…sit and watch this movie…”

Inner Pooh rolling her eyes!!!

Me : …..

And there are many more such anecdotes…..may be, I will share them some other day…

So, now what do you feel? Am I a Piku? Let us give you all some time to analyze this :D

Until then, ciao!!

P.S.: Do I need to say it again??? Please refer to the P.S. of my first blog..!!!!