#crazy how a backstory character has and continues to pain me so much damn you oda

[mudanonaito]

@animangacreators CHALLENGE #25: GRAVEYARD

Character death that has affected you the most ↳ CORAZON || "I have no chance to survive now but…will you remember me even after I die? I'll die with a smile…because if you think of me someday, I'd rather you remember my smile".

[springsylph]

WITCHING HOUR, CH 2/3 — [18+]

(18+) - MARKED FOR EVENTUAL SMUT, MINORS DNI!

fem!reader x arthur morgan

summary: the prodigal son returns tags: marked 18+ for smut in later chapters, reader has a backstory kinda (but now a little more than kinda), original side character(s), does arthur count as a tag, he needs his own warning, its more exposition please don't leave

word count: 4.9k

a/n: HERE! DAMN! (i'm so sorry this took so long)

<< previous chapter | read on ao3 here | masterlist

you can find a link to the playlist here! tag list (look how crazy. i have a LIST.): @photo1030

The subsequent mornings are painted with varying shades of gloom. It was smeared over the sky in thick coats, and if it was just a little thicker, it might be able to keep out the spears of light. 

Sometimes, they tickle. Sometimes, they recoil from the rigid mounds of snow and blind you and anything else unfortunate enough to get caught in the line of fire. Pain in the ass, really. A particularly nasty pain in the ass flickers in the cloudy metal of your spoon one morning while you’re shoveling grits into your mouth.

“You planning on eating the table too, kid?”

Your eyebrows shoot up, as does your spine once you lower your spoon back into the chipped bowl. 

“My apologies,” you gulp. “You’ll uh, have to forgive me, Mrs. Campbell. Seems the winter air’s gotten to my head.”  

Mrs. Campbell was a wiry, dark-haired woman of 63, and had spent more time rearing cattle than children. She was rough, tough, and at present, leveling you with a stare so doubtful that you wonder if the look you often catch on the livestock is embarrassment. 

After holding your gaze for a few moments more, she resumes the rocking of her chair from the corner and returns to her darning. A large red sock, the same one she’d whacked Mr. Campbell over the head with after she’d found it on the floor of the living room only thirty minutes ago.

“No, no, you’re alright.” Mrs. Campbell pauses, though her hands continue to work. Under, over. In, out. Not a single finger pricked. “Think that’s the most I’ve seen you take down in one sitting, is all. You bite like a bird.” She makes a funny chewing motion with her mouth—or, at least you think it’s supposed to be funny. It seems to amuse her well enough; most strange things did. 

She then asks how much horse feed is left, and you tell her enough to last for the next two weeks. You ask how her daughter’s baby boy is doing, she tells you he’s been picking his nose, and the two of you return to your respective distractions: the pulling of thread and a spoon fishing around a now empty dish while you consult silently with the peeling floral wallpaper. 

Arthur Morgan’s appearance had set you on edge, loathe as you were to admit it. The fact that there’d been no sign of him since you’d first spoken only hastened the growing dread, more so than the lack of response after your father’s men had been so kindly disposed of. 

Contingencies had been thoroughly accounted for, leaving you mildly inconvenienced at best and dead at worst. There were other conclusions you’d drawn up, of course, but dealing in extremes had its benefits.

You press your thumb absentmindedly into the corner of the dining room table. Could the Campbells have heard your exchange? No, they couldn’t have, too old. And that was excluding the fact that the main house was rather far from the cabin. Given the time frame, it would have been well beyond what was reasonable for your…situation to have been brought up. 

Besides, this was important. Better to sort this out now than when—if—he showed up at your doorstep again.

“I have a question.”

Mrs. Campbell snorts. “I presume you’re lookin’ for an answer.”

You set your spoon down, and stand to clear the table. “Do the two of you get…stray cats often?”

This time her hands waver. “During the warmer months, sure. But in this weather? I mean, if it had the guts to get through all that ‘winter air,’ I don’t see why not.” Her eyes flick up. “Would have to be real hungry, though. Or stupid, which I doubt, ‘cause cats ain’t stupid—sonuvabitch!” 

You jerk as her needle clatters to the floor. She lets a curse slip as she hunches over to retrieve it; another follows as she tugs the string loose, just a little, and her fingers trip over themselves before falling back into a steady rhythm. 

Her brows pinch in concentration. “Never met a stupid cat,” she repeats.

“I…I see.” Moving around to the other side of the table to collect what's left, you frown when you catch your warped reflection in a bent spoon. You pick it up, and your fingers brush over the bump unconsciously. “I saw one,” you say slowly. Mind fumbling over any disastrous outcomes. “A cat, I mean. He’s been hanging around my cabin for a while now. I was only asking ‘cause he’s been spooking the chickens.”

When Mrs. Campbell doesn’t answer, your mouth gets the better of you. “Only, he turned up again a couple nights ago. Acting real docile, you see.” Not docile. The farthest thing from it. “Nearly shot him then and there, but—oh, he just looked so pitiful! He’s real mean looking, all scratched up and such, but I was tired, so when shooing him off didn’t work I let him in. Didn’t hiss, didn’t bite, nothing. But, I think I may have scared him. Skittered right out the door, quick as lightning. He’s been pissin’ me off—pardon my language—but, I just don’t see why he’d go through all that trouble to show up if he was just looking to leave the moment I raised so much as a finger.”

You only cease your rambling once you realize that you’ve bent the spoon too far in the wrong direction. “I…should turn him away, shouldn’t I? If he shows up again?”

Mrs. Campbell lets out an exasperated exhale, smooths out her apron, and sets her mangled sock down in her lap. “He kill any chickens?”

“No, but—”

“You feed him?”

“No?”

“Well, I think you should. It’d be real funny.”

Funny. Funny, she’d said. 

You look to the silverware for consolation, but they can only produce a weak gleam.

“Quit making faces at my utensils, I hate when you do that. If you got something to say, say it now so I can finish this damned sock.”

Instead of making faces at the spoons, you reserve them for the tablecloth. “I just—don’t think it’d be wise.” A wanted man, with a lofty bounty at that, and you were comparing him to a mangy feline. Attempting to see him as anything other than what he so obviously was would be disingenuous. 

And maybe Mrs. Campbell wasn’t the right person to be speaking to about this, because her nose crinkles with such distaste that you have to remind yourself that you’d remembered to bathe. “You’re grown,” she says, “and you work here. I’m inclined to believe that you have enough know-how to keep yourself from doing anything too dumb. If not, oh well.”

“…Right.”

Sometimes you wonder if her daughter had moved out not for marriage, but to escape Mrs. Campbell’s dreadfully indifferent way of speaking. Still, you take her words with relative care and pray that the “feeding” portion of her advice can be altered into something much more metaphorical.

When you attempt to bring the dishes to the water bucket, Mrs. Campbell’s head snaps to you and she clicks her teeth. “Drop it.”

“I was just—”

The sock finds its way into a basket of other half-finished projects at her feet, and she pushes herself up to stand just as tall (if not taller) than any tree before snatching the dishes from your hands. “I don’t pay you to do my dishes, girl.”

You smile. “I don’t believe you pay me at all, Mrs. Campbell.”

“Precisely. Your Pa pays me. And enough with that ‘Mrs. Campbell’ mess; makes me sound like an old crone. Told you to call me Fran, didn’t I?”

Shrugging past the bitterness in her tone at the mention of your father, you turn to the doorway and pull your coat off of the hook you’d tossed it on the night before. It’s only slightly warm from where the sun has touched it. 

The beams have softened their assault on the curtains; it’s still fairly cloudy, but there’s no sign of incoming snow. Chores would be alright, if only for today. 

“I’ll work on it, Mrs. Campbell. But, I do have one more question, if you don’t mind.” You wait for a nod while you pull on your boots with a wince. “How come you don’t take on any other help?”

Like most of her responses, Mrs. Campbell doesn’t give much away. Nothing remarkable that you can discern, at least. She merely winks and carries on with her washing. But just as you set a foot out the front door, she calls out to you. 

“Hey, kid?”

You turn.

“If the worst you can call him is a spooked cat, he can’t be all that bad, can he?” 

You freeze. “Pardon?”

She looks up at the ceiling, as though her next words will appear if she gets her eyes to narrow enough. Glasses had been the first of many neglected suggestions you’d offered upon your arrival. You’d even offered to buy them yourself, with what little you’d been able to bring with you. But Mrs. Campbell, being Mrs. Campbell, had simply laughed.

Squinting, she returns her focus to the bucket and reaches for a cake of lye soap. “Ah, and tell that idiot if he slams my doors, I’ll send my foot so far up his ass that them science folks won’t have any animals left to call him.”

__

Illusory warmth finds you a few weeks later.

It isn’t quite spring yet; winter is a stubborn mule, and though the snow has receded into the dirt it still stamps its hooves into the wind. In the water, too—freezing rain taps its fingers onto the windows. Soft and melodic, it nearly puts you to sleep from your place on the floor before you remember the annoyances it’s dragged along with it. 

There’d been no sign of trouble tonight, and the chicken wire had been reinforced a few hours prior. That’d mostly been the work of Mr. Campbell, though. He’d chirped about some promise he’d made to his “lovely wife,” and went on his merry way after leaving you with some choice words from the wife in question about the importance of rest. 

The rain had started not long after. Which was great, for someone out there. But, bad for you. Pretty bad. Ugly, messy bad—because it was cold, dark, and the dirt hadn’t the moral backbone to keep itself together for any longer than two blinks before your boots were practically swimming in it. 

The trudge back to the cabin was only slightly humiliating, considering the fact that the sole witnesses were the owls you knew were hiding out in the safety of the trees. 

Scampering from the uneven path to the front porch, however, was another story. Although the pliant (no good, backstabbing) earth was quick and eager to drag you to its depths, you were aggravated enough to be slightly quicker, and your palms shot out to catch you just before your chin could meet the full wrath of the wood.

But the word “just” was a pebble cast into a pond, and the first ripple was the metallic tang that flooded your mouth. Diatribes were spat onto the ground alongside the blood, tongue throbbing with a vengeance before you drove the heels of your palms down to push yourself up. The second ripple was a little less red, but just as irritating. The rain had pulled the wet fabric of your work shirt and trousers tight over your limbs, and it had begun to border on painful when water droplets struck like one might strike the skin of a drum. 

“I’m grateful, I’m grateful, I’m oh so fucking grateful…” It was a mantra you often found yourself repeating whenever nature’s pranks sought to drive you mad. Rain was good. Rain was fine, actually, so you’d ignored the creaking of your knees and hobbled your way inside.

And here you sit: back propped up against the wall, shivering like a fool with your knees tucked into your chest. The mud crusting between your fingers barely registers while you work on releasing yourself from your wet clothing.

Which, of course, is when the light tapping on the window takes its cue to crescendo. It’s a rather flimsy cloak for the uneven thunks outside that make no attempt to conceal themselves. But your bones know better. 

Awful timing, that man. 

You feel the weight of his fist against the door before he makes contact. 

(One.)

You shoot up.

(Two.)

You lunge for the table.

You decide against greeting him with the rifle, which is a significant improvement. It’s a revolver. But you did have the good sense not to kick the door again; the rusty hinges were fragile enough without your meddling. Instead, you let it creak open with one hand on the doorknob.

You’re met with a bruise, planted right atop a cheekbone. A swollen bottom lip, blood threatening to split it wide. He’s got a button missing from his rumpled jacket, and the caving of the porch underneath his feet clues you in on the fact that he’s favoring his right leg. He’s been fighting. Fighting, and he looks about ready to keel over and die. Or pick another fight. Probably both.

Part of you unwinds at the sight of him, battered as he was. Present as he was. But the more logical part of you senses that he’s here for something, and the even more logical part of you remembers exactly what it was that stood at your doorstep.

It’s then that the stench of alcohol hits you, and the familiar smell of mud sweeps in not long after. Arthur is completely covered in it, save for his face. And—

There. There it is again.

That look. 

Your pulse trips in your throat, and you pray that he’s inebriated enough to ignore it. “You’re on my porch. Why?”

Bright blue comes back into focus, and his hands fall to his hips. “I can go where I damn well please.”

“That’s all well and good, but why are you on my porch?”

He sniffs. Peers just over your shoulder. “...House call.”

You step to block him. “Now that’s two chances. I have it on good authority that one is just fine these days, but I’m feeling generous.” And confused. Extremely confused.

His face contorts into a heatless grimace, and the doorknob squeals. You’re suddenly reminded of the odd tales of shapeshifters you’d stumbled upon as a child: one moment a man, the next a bloodthirsty predator. Not a particularly helpful development—especially since your talk with Mrs. Campbell—but it was a development nonetheless.

Arthur rattles off the courtesies typically extended toward esteemed guests while you look him over again, and your eyes lock onto his hair. Another familiar connection—doe brown strands, streaked with mud and nearly plastered to his head from the light downpour. Much less ferocious than the rest of him. But, tonight, if you have to pick, he’s a wet dog. A wet, potentially drunk dog, who was missing his hat. 

And suddenly, the natural chatter of the trees comes to a halt. 

“What’d you just call me?”

…You idiot.

“I didn’t call you jack shit,” you lie. Arthur gives a loose smirk, and your next protests become nothing but bluster. “What, the little girl that hit you knock your ears shut?”

“Figured I’d let her get a hit in, out of the kindness of my big ol’ heart.” Arthur sways on his feet a bit, peering down at you through the water that he hasn’t bothered to wipe from his lashes. Gravity finds eventual triumph, and he leans into the post before eying the revolver still in your hands. “Don’t suppose you’re plannin’ on pullin’ that trigger any time soon.”

“What’s it to you?”

Arthur’s face begins to harden, and he crosses his arms tight over his chest. “You know, last time I was here I said you were lucky. Well, I’d like to make an addendum: lucky and stupid, lady.” 

You cast a disbelieving look at the leg he’s been keeping his weight off of. “And you’re drunk. The fact that you got here without your horse cracking your head open is a miracle.”

His brows draw low, and he rubs the heel of his boot against the muddy spot where you’d fallen earlier. Blinks at the ground. Then, with the vigor of a child caught sleeping in church, wipes angrily at a speck of mud on his thigh. “M’not drunk,” he finally mutters, flicking the offending dirt out into the yard and crossing his arms again. “And I’ve got enough trust in my horse to fill at least half of that barn y’all got.”

“Just half? Not the whole thing?”

“Whole thing would be two horses.”

You almost laugh. Almost. When you don’t reply, his eyes drop back down to the gun, gaze contemplative. “You got any idea how easily I could’ve knocked that flimsy thing outta your hands?”

“Why of course I do, Mr. Morgan.” The dampness you’d been struck with pulls at you, bones heavy and patience now worn thin. You give the revolver an exaggerated twirl, the metal snatching what can be seen of the moon through the rain and reflecting it at him. “I’m real lucky you’re here to tell me so, ain’t I? Matter of fact, why don’t you go and fetch me my chair before I topple right on over? ” 

“That ain’t what I meant, and you know it.” You think he sounds somewhat regretful. But somewhat isn’t enough. 

“Do I now,” you say dryly. “You seem to ‘not mean’ an awful lot.” 

Arthur pushes himself off of the post with his shoulder and shoves his muddy hands into his muddy pockets. “I just don’t see why you people are so eager to act like you got your life for dog-cheap.”

“You people?”

“Yeah, you heard me. You people.” He’s looking at everything but you now, eyes wild but body frighteningly still. “You’ll look trouble right in the eye, and lie right through your damn teeth till it gets you laid out cold in a ditch somewhere.” Arthur gestures to the embarrassing height your shooting arm has dropped to in the time that he’s spoken. “I can tell each time you open that door that you won’t shoot. Can’t, I’d argue, ‘cause if you didn’t have my big head within one inch of that barrel, you’d be some deep shit.” His words are a forlorn echo amidst the rain, now nothing more than a light haze. 

You could shut the door and go back inside, you think. Tell him he’s wrong, because he most certainly was. Peel out of your damp clothes, because standing outside in the chill spelled nothing but trouble. Arthur wouldn’t push. He was just as prone to bluffing as you were. 

And yet.

And yet.

“I could say the same about you. Don’t think your kin would take too kindly to the fact that you’re hangin’ around someone that knows your face. Who you are.” You steady your aim. “That’s a loose end, Arthur. You don’t seem like the type of man to keep many of those around.” It’s the first time you’ve said his name all night; you’re only sure because the moment it leaves you, his entire body tenses before he sags back against the wooden post. 

The way he looks at you then might be considered cruel and unusual punishment. You think of butterflies, embroidered into blankets from childhood. Tacked to the wall of your father’s study. The only difference between them and you is that you’re free to leave.

If only you possessed something to sweeten the deal—whatever deal you could come up with in the next five seconds. To mask the returning waver of your voice, now laden with inconceivable realities. “Am I a loose end, Arthur Morgan?” 

He opens his mouth to speak. Closes it. Untucks a hand from the arms he’s wrapped around himself to scrub at his beard and finally wipe at the water you’ve been eyeballing from his lids. He opens his mouth again, now on the precipice of what might be an explanation.

“S’dangerous,” is all he says.

You see red.

The arm holding the revolver is dropped so you can poke a finger into his chest. “You’re not making any sense!” Each word is enunciated with a jab, and you cringe at the feeling of rain rewetting the mud underneath your fingernails. “You cut and run, turn up drunk and beaten half to death, practically beg me to let you inside, and then you get upset when I say I won’t pop a bullet into your head?”

Arthur pinches the bridge of his nose, voice beginning to escalate. “Now if you would just listen for more than two seconds—”

You cut him down with a harsh whisper. “Listen? Listen?” Your eyes momentarily check for any sign of a light being turned on in the main house. Nothing. Your finger falls away then, and a violent chill wracks your body from head to toe. “No, you listen. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. You said your piece the last time we spoke, and you left, so why are you on my porch!”

“I don’t know!”

Something cracks, and your vision blurs when you whip your head to recheck the lights. Still nothing. The crack fizzles out into nothingness, and you return to find Arthur close. Awfully close. And your hand is warm and—oh.

It seems his pluck is rather contagious. The noise you’d heard wasn’t thunder, but the sound of your treacherous hand clapping right over Arthur’s mouth.  

Time stills. Or speeds up, more like. The only thing you can be certain of is that ring of greenish gold around his pupils. The brush of his lips against your palm. Humid air being released in slow, steady clouds. You briefly wonder what else this warmth has dominion over, save for your cupped hand. Who else. 

The speed of the exhales increases, and envy wriggles in the dirt of your heart like unearthed worms. Did his mind wander, as yours often did? Surely not as emphatically. It no doubt ambled from one thought to the next, attention snagged only when he had the energy to do so. Had you been interesting enough to snag his?

The spell is broken by a lamp flickering on in the distance. 

“Shit!”

Sheer panic sinks its claws into you before rationality can, and you’re curling a hand around Arthur’s wrist and yanking him inside before he can protest.

You’re both panting ragged breaths once the door shuts behind you, in spite of the mere two steps it’d taken to cross the entryway. Tangible confusion permeates the air, and Arthur looks at you expectantly. It’s only fair that the (secondary) perpetrator speak first.  

But words are tricky, tricky things. And as much as you partook in your fair share of falsehoods, finding the right ones when you didn’t feel that your life was on the line was an unfamiliar practice. 

Voice quiet, you blink at the muddy footprints on the floor. “You left my door open.”

“I remember,” he replies. Simple.

The silence returns, eerily reminiscent of your first encounter. You consider telling him about the warning Mrs. Campbell had wanted you to relay to him. But then you think about all of the other things he’s missed since he’s disappeared, and your mind becomes saturated with just about everything, and somehow nothing at all. But Arthur’s voice, once again, cracks the fragile quiet. 

“God damn it!” He begins to pace, rubbing at the shadows under his eyes. You’re thankful that he’s finally lowered his voice to a whisper, though the close quarters don’t seem to help with the intensity. “I ain’t supposed to be here. Not like this.”

“Not like what? Arthur what do you—” 

“This isn’t how this was supposed to go,” he says, voice edging on the side of desperation.

“How what was supposed to go?” You look at his hands, fumbling with his belt loops. He sucks in a brittle gulp of air when he catches you looking, like he’s surprised you’re looking at him at all. 

And then, miraculously, the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. 

“I’m to kill you. Ideally this evening.” 

Until it all promptly falls apart.

You turn away. Begin to work open the half done buttons of your shirt. Arthur turns to face the door. You decide to humor him. “Who.” 

“Some man, your Pa, I presume,” he says. For the first time in what feels like eternity, his voice is devoid of any feeling. It sounds small. Not defeated, not yet, but oh so small. “Willing to pay big bucks to get rid of a ‘financial thorn’ in his side. Knew ‘bout my business in Blackwater, which I assume you’re also aware of. Said he’d had some bonds on that boat.” Blunt fingernails scratch lightly at the curtains. “He said I could sniff things out, see if I wanted to to his dirty work.”

Shirt falling to the floor, you allow yourself some time to stew numbly in your naivety while you get the fire going; you could be disappointed all you wanted once you were warm. You can hear Arthur scrubbing at his beard again when you begin to drag a chair in front of the fireplace. You sit, or collapse rather, and shuck off your boots with little care for where they land. Where the mud splatters.

“How’s Marlene?” You ask.

Rustling. He’s turned around. More frantic rustling. He’s turned back to the wall. “I’m sorry?”

“Marlene. Chicken. ”

“Ah. She’s uh, good. Eating good. Still pecks like hell, though.”

And, once again, more silence.

You bark out a dry laugh. It hurts—hurts like hell, but it tumbles out of you with a sharp snap. It snowballs into pure, unadulterated laughter. Bouncing off the walls, the drinking glasses, the mud, right into the fire and back out again. It continues until you’re left with nothing but a pathetic wheeze rattling your lungs.

Settling into the back of the chair, your head lolls back till you can see an upside down version of the bewildered Arthur you’d turned away from. The angle is awkward, and the blood rushing to your head makes him look all warm and fuzzy, but it’s precisely why you’ve chosen it.

“Didn’t think finding all this out would be so funny.” He speaks as if poking a tiger.

Another half-hearted chuckle slips out of you. “Good god, I thought you were trying to proposition me.”

“Proposition you?” He scowls. “What on earth would I—” 

Arthur stops. Blinks one of his blinks. Gives his eyes another rub. Blinks again. He’s been doing that a lot, lately. This “blinking” thing.

“Oh.” He frowns.

Frowning right back, you push yourself to stand and toss some old papers from your table into the fire. “No need to seem so put off by it, gosh. Should’ve told me you were out for my head from the start. Would’ve made this a hell of a lot less embarrassing.” Disappointment had beat out the warmth.

You wait for an apology, or a joke. Or something. Anything. But you’re met with nothing. The paper eventually crumbles into nothing, too, smoke tickling your nostrils alongside the smell of rain.

His voice sounds from the back of the room.

“I didn’t say that.”

You whip around.

“Say what.”

He speaks as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I didn’t say I wasn’t. Interested, I mean.” When you point to yourself, he rolls his eyes. “No, the couch.”

There was no couch.

The two of you watch each other for a bit. Then Arthur finds another annoying spot on his thigh to rub at, and you’re watching him.

“You’re drunk,” you conclude, voice flat. You pull on a blanket, suddenly conscious of the bareness of your shoulders. “You’re drunk, or tired, or both. You weren’t here. I didn’t see you, you didn’t see me. Am I clear?”

You stand on wobbly feet and motion for him to leave.

“You don’t think I’m joking, do you? I meant what I said.” He brushes past your outstretched hand to clunk into the chair, mirroring that same awkward position you’d found yourself in earlier. Strong neck arched, fire light catching the water that’s begun to bead on his cheeks. “I don’t do charity. Don’t think I have the money for it, actually.”

“How kind of you.”

“I mean it. Truly.”

“Then come back tomorrow,” you blurt.

Fuck.

What the hell were you doing? “You come back tomorrow night, sober, and we’ll see.” No, we would not.

But it’s too late—Arthur is rebounding off of the chair, straightening out his jacket (he’s noticed the missing button, finally), and striding to the door before you can retract your mistake. Even so, you follow after him like a besotted moron, only stopping when he turns to face you once the door is back open.

“Tomorrow, then,” he says. Eyes dark. Searching.

And then he’s stooping down. Reaching for your hand. Pulling it to his dry lips, and pressing a chaste kiss right to the top of it. He chuckles when you shiver, still clutching the blanket tight around your shoulders.

You’re released soon after. And Arthur gives you one long look, tells you to lock your door, and leaves.

—

next chapter >>

[accirax]

What a fun idea! As a fan of DRDT, Milgram, FF's work, and mystery solving in general, I feel like it'd be a shame if I didn't at least try to take a first stab at whatever's going on with these kooky Ultimate prisoners. (But not THE Ultimate Prisoner, that title's taken.)

Of course, since only Undercover has been published thus far, 1) we only have a brief overview of each prisoner to look at, and 2) I don't want to spend a ton of time crafting some crazy theory about each prisoner when there'll clearly be more information to be had down the line (assuming you continue on with this fan project). So, I'll try to keep each prisoner's section brief, while also concocting an initial theory of what might have gone down in each crime. (Update after finishing writing: it is not that brief. I got too invested down the line. Help /j)

The formatting of this is really just going to be my thought process written out, so I apologize if any of it is obvious and therefore boring to read. A lot of it is just going to be me gathering all of the information we have on each prisoner so that I can look at all of it at once. Also, I am fully willing to believe that I am basically 100% wrong about everything. I wrote out what I genuinely think could be true at the moment, but it involves making a lot of calls on things we don't have evidence for. I look forward to being proven wrong on many counts.

In some places, I also summarized things using my own interpretations of the evidence we have instead of being fully objective. This is meant to help anyone reading quickly understand my opinions on the evidence, but if you're trying to refer to this for the sake of your own interpretation, know that the information presented is not always 100% literal.

Oh woah, there are now Voice Reveal Lines too. I'll add those in here. Damn you FF and your speedy content generation!! (/j)

This AU does differ from Milgram in that these characters come from an external piece of media, and thus, some lore and characterization will come from DRDT itself. I didn't write any of it out in, like, a "backstory" section, but I certainly brought it up for pretty much every prisoner. So, unmarked DRDT spoilers ahoy. Also, CW for mentions of suicide, self harm, and eating disorders.

I'm super excited to take a closer look into all of the hard work that's gone into this project thus far!

PRISONER 01: Levi Fontana

Trial 1 Song Title: Torn Stitches Crime Location: Alleyway Special Image: Levi sits slumped over in a kitchen/dining room(?) with a boiling pot of tea in the foreground Murder Method: Levi punches Es with brass knuckles, knocking them to the floor Voice Reveal: "Levi Fontana, a pleasure. Yes, I am a murderer. I couldn't bring myself to pretend to be sorry for what I did. I suppose I should watch other prisoners to learn how normal prisoners should handle themselves. ...I know you didn't want this, but it had to be done."

Well, the murder method is pretty easy to understand in this one. Levi uses brass knuckles, his custom weapon in DRDT, to kill someone in an alleyway. Can we call him a murderer without remorse for this one...?

Torn Stitches imply sewing, which makes sense with his eventual passion for fashion, as well as redoing something you did wrong the first time. They could also have to do with opening up a painful wound (medical stitches) or something growing too big for its capacity (no longer fitting into your clothes). I'm almost a fan of the latter, given with how it would combine with the imagery of the boiling tea pot. That, to me, is a metaphor for a situation growing hotter and hotter until it reaches its boiling point, all while making an overbearing and overwhelming environment in the meantime.

From canon DRDT, we know that Levi estranged himself from his family. So, in this AU, I would guess that Levi snapped and killed (a member of) his family under the pressure. Maybe they'd even coerced him into murdering prior to that, who knows. But, either way, he doesn't seem to regret his choices just yet.

PRISONER 02: Arturo Giles

Trial 1 Song Title: Wilted Crime Location: Bathroom Special Image: Arturo appears to be messily packing a suitcase, considering a white turtleneck shirt Murder Method: Arturo kneels facing away from Es, who is on the ground in an uncomfortable position Voice Reveal: "Arturo Giles. Ugh, do I really have to be judged by someone this ugly? I'll have you know, I've never murdered anyone. I mean, there is... no, no, that wasn't my fault... How was I meant to know?! Even if she's dead because of what I did, it's not my fault!"

Arturo (holding hands emoji) Shidou: surgeons with floral imagery in their MVs. At least, if the title "Wilted" is anything to go by. Mu too, with the "It's Not My Fault!"

Arturo's murder almost certainly has to do with his canonical secret: that his leaving caused his sister Felicity to commit suicide. We can see the suitcase in his special image already being packed, implying his departure. The clothes messily strewn about may imply that it was a hasty and not particularly thought-through escape.

The simplest answer is that Arturo chose to leave his likely toxic family environment, and once he was gone, Felicity killed herself in the bathroom. Arturo facing away from Es implies that he wasn't there to see what happened to Felicity, his presumed victim.

The main thing that gives me pause is the fact that, unlike what's specifically mentioned in Veronika's murder method, both of the victim's shoes are on. For anyone who's not clear on what I'm getting at, I've seen written in the Milgram fandom that, apparently, having one's shoes off is a common visual metaphor for that person committing suicide in Japan. Thus, the fact that the shoes are on might imply that the victim didn't commit suicide.

Again, assuming that Arturo's victim is Felicity, DRDT canon doesn't give me much of an incentive to believe that he would have killed her himself. So, maybe the parents could have killed Felicity? I initially thought that might take too much blame off of Arturo's shoulders, but on second thought, if the parents were that obviously bad, it could make him look even worse for leaving her alone. So, I guess that's what I'm settling on for now.

PRISONER 03: David Chiem

Trial 1 Song Title: Star in the Night Crime Location: Bedroom Special Image: David performs, possibly for someone important, on an otherwise empty stage, lights all shining on him Murder Method: David yells at Es with the 正 (tally) symbol in his eyes Voice Reveal: "My name is David Chiem. It seems there's been a mistake. But, don't worry! I won't hold it against you. Mistakes can be corrected. It's not difficult to change, as long as you're willing to! I try to be as positive as I can, since I know there're a lot of people that don't get the privilege. ...AGH! CAN YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT, YOU HUMAN PIECE OF GARBAGE?!"

Well, now I'm really wishing I had ever solved the tally5 puzzle. Might be missing some information on this one, sorry about that.

Let's get back to what I wrote in the special image portion. It was unclear in the text if the rest of the seats were filled, but I think that David's victim might be hidden behind his torso in that image. As in, his victim is someone he was inspirationally speaking to, and was likely sitting in the front row. 'Cause, hey, if Literature Girl Insane is on the table with tally5, then we know David also has associations with some suspicious gaps!

...I also really wish I knew whether or not Diana Chiem was real.

My best guess at David's murder would be something similar to the conundrum he believes himself to be in at the Chapter 2 Trial. He broke his speaker's facade in front of this special listener, and the despair that his words caused them led to their death (although again, this one may not be a suicide). Based on that situation, he may have said the thing about being a piece of human garbage to himself.

I think "Star in the Night" is also an interesting hint at where his first song may be headed. In the nighttime, stars are beautiful and visible, the subject of many songs, poems, and pieces of art. They guide people's way. Stars are typically thought of in the night, because, in the daytime, they're useless and invisible, and pale in grandeur next to a real source of brightness, like the sun (I know that the sun is a star, but you get my point). I suspect that David's MV may focus on him, "the star," only within the context of being in his element, "the night," and leave us to wonder what David is like when he's not on stage.

PRISONER 04: Whit Young

Trial 1 Song Title: Mind the Gaps Crime Location: Park Special Image: Whit analyzes what are likely dating profiles ("Analyzing profiles..."), looking bored Murder Method: Whit uses a gun to shoot Es through the heart Voice Reveal: Yo! Whit Young, nice to meet you. Are you really sure everyone here is a murderer? That's wack. I don't remember doing anything suspicious! Yesterday was normal, the day before that was normal, the day before that... the day before that... My mom's really amazing. I love her a lot. I would do anything for her."

Whit is... complicated. In canon, the death he's associated with is the death of his mother, which he reveals in the Chapter 2 Trial (assuming he's telling the truth about that). With the title Mind the Gaps, I thought the story could have something to do with the gaps in the story he tells people while pretending that his mom isn't dead.

Given the rest of the information, though (I WROTE THIS PART BEFORE THE VOICE REVEAL CAME OUT), I've started to think that his murder will be about something else. Like, I don't think his mom was particularly in the market for dating profiles, and even if so, I doubt Whit would be the one picking through them. No, his crime seems to have something to do with his profession as a matchmaker.

I also have my doubts about Whit using a literal gun to kill his victim (where would he get that? mastermind Whit interpretations goin wild), so I believe that it may be more of a "playing cupid" type scenario. Thus, my next idea was born: Whit, in his joking nature, accidentally told one of his clients something along the lines of them being unlovable and how hard it would be to find a match for them, and they fell into such despair that they killed themselves!

...What the hell does the park have to do with that? And, what about the victim's lack of removed shoes?

So, here's idea #3: Whit set up one of his clients on a date with a bad person. He took his innocent client and, whether due to a lapse in judgment or straight up negligence, he set them up with a stalker/serial killer type. Maybe he even told them to go on a date to the park specifically. When his client turns up dead, the question becomes, "how much responsibility did Whit have to screen the date before he set them up together? How much fault is Whit at for the innocent's death?" That sounds like a Milgram-y enough question, right?

...AND THE VOICE REVEAL COMES IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!

Uhhhhh, idea #4! Basically the same as #3, but his client was actually his mom (his dad being fully absent in this AU, not just working abroad). He sets his mom up on a date, the date is sketchy and kills her, and then Whit kills that date out of revenge. He could even use a real ass gun in this iteration. Whit loves to repress and ignore things that bother him, so all that talk about "not remembering doing anything suspicious" could be a lie.

Goodness gracious, Whit, you're really taking me on a rollercoaster here. Truly wack.

PRISONER 05: Ace Markey

Trial 1 Song Title: Unstoppable Crime Location: City Street Special Image: Ace looks at the night sky from atop his motorcycle Murder Method: Ace runs away from Es, who appears to have suffered from a collision Voice Reveal: "Tch. Ace Markey. You wanna fight?! Wait, fuck, you probably have weapons, don't you?! Shit, don't get any closer! You think I'm a murderer? Horseshit! Get off your fucking high horse! ...Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, shit shit shit, FUCK!"

...So, I'm just going to assume that we've replaced Ace riding horses with Ace riding motorcycles in this story? They're both risky and wild, but motorcycles are much easier to get into more common settings. There are some hilarious references to horses in the dialogue, but I'm not getting the impression of any physical horses yet (what a weird sentence to type), so I'm rolling with this.

That being said, I'm kind of at a loss here. Everything seems to be set up with the assumption that Ace committed a hit and run with his motorcycle, but I find it hard to believe that that's the case for two reasons. The first is that I just don't think it's complex enough of a moral debate for Milgram-- like, yeah, he's definitely guilty if it was just a normal hit and run, although obviously not to a death penalty degree. I feel like discussion would be more about trying to figure out exactly what an innocent or guilty verdict means in his case than dissecting what he did.

The second is that Ace isn't riding a motorcycle in his murder method. The text specifically mentions him "running away." Obviously, a motorcycle is a lot more complicated to draw than a knife or a baseball bat, but if it literally was the murder weapon I see no reason why Ace couldn't have been pictured with that prop. Also, the murder method images didn't even have to be drawn in this case, so, take that!!! (/lh)

However, if it's not a hit and run, what exactly is going on with his murder method? Was someone trying to steal his motorcycle, and he just knocked them over and they hit their head on something? Did he accidentally (or purposefully) lure his victim into oncoming traffic? Where was he going on that starry night?

The only real insight I have is into the song title, Unstoppable (omg, Raise a Suilen collab? /ref). In canon, Ace feels his life is very out of his control; he's anxiously stuck with a job he hates, his diet is determined by his eating disorder, and nobody seems to side with him even when he was almost killed. I have a mental image of the first trial MV focusing on him taking his motorcycle on a ride to nowhere in particular, just lost in the speed and his fear of how the cars could hit him at any moment. The whole vibe would be very similar to the "pressure, pressure"s of Backdraft.

Don't know how accurate that'll be, but I wanted to say something at least vaguely smart for Ace. Hopefully I succeeded?

PRISONER 06: Nico Hakobyan

Trial 1 Song Title: Fight or Flight Crime Location: Locker Room Special Image: Nico plays with a cat using a pink mouse toy while standing in a puddle of water. Murder Method: Sitting on top of them, Nico pushes Es's head onto a wire Voice Reveal: "Uhm... Nico Hakobyan. I'm- I'm really sorry! You're pretty weird. Ah! I'm sorry! Don't get mad at me! ...Why should I own up for the mistakes that someone else made?!"

Nico's murder almost certainly has something to do with their gender identity. We learn in Chapter 2 that Nico is nonbinary, and locker rooms are an incredibly common place for LGBTQ+ people (especially amab ones, I think, although it's not confirmed that's what Nico is) to be bullied for their genders and/or sexualities. I would not be at all surprised if, similar to how they (allegedly) treated Ace, Nico's murder is them getting back at one of their bullies. That would also make sense with the title Fight or Flight, and "making up for mistakes that someone else made." Nico had been tolerating the bullying for a while, just running away, before choosing to fight back in retaliation.

Although the special images tend to be real (like, Yuno's image wasn't of her buying balloons because the balloons were just a metaphor), I can't help but feel like the special image is largely meant to be an analogy to the murder itself. I mean, how many cats are usually hanging around in wet (presumably) high school locker rooms?

We know that Nico's weapon was some sort of wire, which reminded me of the strings that often appear on dangling cat toys like what I imagine Nico playing with. Basically, I see the image as representing how Nico extended their more mousy personality out into the world, making them a great target for feral bully cats that wanted to eat them up. However, Nico isn't really the mouse-- they're the person, the one who has the true power over the cat in this situation. Their old personality becomes the trap that they use to lure the cat into a false sense of security, and therefore what kills the bully in the end.

I have no idea where the physical wire would have come from in this situation, though. I assume that Nico couldn't have taken it from Hu in this universe (again, assuming that's even what happened in canon), and I don't think there are usually giant, sharp wires just hanging around in locker rooms. There weren't in my high school, at least. Maybe it could be, like, a towel or something? A lanyard? Those would probably look different, though. I guess we'll just have to see.

PRISONER 07: J Rosales

Trial 1 Song Title: Showtime Crime Location: Bridge with camera equipment Special Image: J tries to block the camera from taking a picture of her while several more shutters flash in the background Murder Method: J points a remote control at Es, who has fallen to the floor with contorted limbs Voice Reveal: "J Moreno. What do you people really want? Ransom money? There's no way you're doing this just because you want to "judge our sins" or whatever bullshit you're saying. Don't make me laugh. Find evidence I killed anyone, and then we can talk about murder. Do you really think you're going to understand everything I've been through, just with a silly little song? How arrogant are you?! ...What happened to her was nothing short of a tragedy. Sorry, but I will make no further comment."

Especially given the Voice Reveal quote, I think it's likely that J killed her mother, Mariabella Rosales. The fact that J is still using her stage name and gives talks of ransom money imply to me that, like in DRDT canon, J is working in the theater/movie industry, but trying to pretend that she isn't the daughter of a famous celebrity-- same with the special image seeming to be her avoiding the papparazzi.

The bridge with camera equipment was, in my opinion, most likely a movie set where J and Mariabella were working together. It's unfortunate that they had to be filming on a bridge that day, as I'd reckon that falling off that bridge may have been how Mariabella died. If true, the question then becomes, "how did Mariabella wind up falling to her death?" Ah, we're back into the Kazui zone with this one.

Unless Mariabella is a robot, I really doubt that the remote did anything to her directly. So, the remote is possibly doing what remotes typically do: turning on a TV of some kind. I think that J might have shown Mariabella a video or presentation of some kind that caused Mariabella to react in such a way that she fell off the bridge.

As for what the video is, I'm not sure. Mariabella being part of some kind of scandal isn't something that's been explored in DRDT, but involving her in one would be totally fair game for an AU like this. Thus, J could have been trying to blackmail her mother. Alternately, maybe J was really trying to communicate to Mariabella how miserable being her daughter had made J for her entire life. Then, the shock caused Mariabella to react negatively.

It's possible Mariabella jumped off of the bridge in despair herself, but the shoes once again lead me to believe that wasn't the case. Instead, I think it's possible that A) the shock caused her to accidentally back up too far and fall over, or B) J and Mariabella started arguing physically, and J either accidentally pushed her off the bridge, or backed her into the railing to the point that she fell.

This whole concept is a little surreal, but stranger things can happen in Milgram, I think. It's the most sensible way I can see to piece together all of the evidence so far, but I wouldn't be surprised to be disproven.

PRISONER 08: Rose Lacroix

Trial 1 Song Title: Still Life Crime Location: Dining Room Special Image: Rose sits, upset, in a room full of her personal paintings that she chose to destroy Murder Method: Rose looks away from Es, who is choking on the floor next to an opened jar Voice Reveal: "Mmmm... Rose Lacroix. Zzzzz... Yeah, I killed someone. This really isn't that bad. At least I can paint here. ...I wonder if I can be happy now."

Let me take this moment to express how much I appreciate all of the great puns in the song titles. Still Life is such an awesome title for a song about Rose. It's a genre of painting, obviously; perhaps one that the Spurling Foundation forces her to paint frequently. But, it also hints at how Rose feels stuck in life, like time is just passing her by as she paints passionless masterpieces. And yet, it's still life-- she's not dead, even if she might feel like it sometimes. So cool.

Anyways, the special image is definitely a reference to when Teruko witnesses Rose paint a beautifully haunting portrait, only to cover it up with black paint so that the Spurling Foundation, who she's contracted to, wouldn't own her personal art. That also means that Rose was still likely an art forger in this universe. This is not necessarily true of prisoners like Levi, who may have not acquired the skills associated with their canonical Ultimate talents yet.

Rose has a lifetime of debt to make up for after being arrested as an art forger, but still hates being chained to the Spurling Foundation and slaving her life away making art she hates. In this universe, I think Rose probably killed Richard Spurling in hopes of being free of her contract. Maybe the contract was "until the end of his life," so if she ended his life early, she could be free without keeping all of the debt she was saddled with before joining the Foundation.

I think the weapon is probably Rose's custom weapon, the turpentine. Turpentine can have... a lot of varying abilities, depending on how much you look into it, but I'm pretty sure that ingesting it would lead to you poisoning yourself. Rose might have slipped the turpentine into Richard's drink to kill him, hoping that it wouldn't lead to her getting arrested for a second time under an even worse crime. Fearing that level of imprisonment, Milgram could seem kind of nice, right?

PRISONER 09: Hu Jing

Trial 1 Song Title: High Strung Crime Location: Unknown room with zither in it Special Image: Hu plays the zither Murder Method: Hu strangles Es with both hands as they choke out blood Voice Reveal: "H-Hu Jing. I know what I did was unforgivable... I really am selfish... I'm scared of receiving the punishment I deserve. Please Forgive me! ...Wake up! Please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Hu's case definitely seems to be missing a lot of information thus far, and whether that's intentional on her part or not has yet to be seen. Given that she seems to be afraid of punishment (which itself is intriguing, given that her DRDT hidden quote includes "but even then, I want to pay for what I did"), I could definitely see her trying to reign in any evidence that might make her look bad.

Both her crime location and special image are strongly connected to the zither, the instrument she loves to play. I'm not sure how that connects to the murder, given that it's not like she's shown bashing Es' head in with the instrument. Instead, she uses her hands to grab Es' neck, just like she might grab the strung neck of the zither. Is it possible she became so stressed, so high strung, that she mistook a human for a zither? That seems a little far fetched, even to me.

However, perhaps those images are trying to show that, prior to this point, all that Hu did in her life was play the zither. If we went on the route that her parents were super overprotective and wanted her to devote her entire life to music, maybe they trapped her in that room to play (Toya Aoyagi moment). One day, she wanted her freedom and snapped, killing her parents, which she immediately regretted.

That is... a lot of speculation. But, even in DRDT itself, Hu's backstory is largely unknown, other than that she cares about her family's intentions a lot, wants peopel to rely on her, and has the anglicized name "Julia." (I imagine that, because of this, it may have been hard to design her murder for this AU. Godspeed.) Especially given that Min's murder in this AU seems to be based on the "poison the competition" secret, we can also speculate that Hu's backstory includes the "hopeless child" secret about attempting suicide three times. If Hu was suicidal as a child, perhaps that would give her parents an additional reason to keep her safe and within arm's reach? Or, maybe it was being held in captivity that led her to try to take her own life three times over.

I'll stop spitballing about Hu now. Looking forward to seeing where this one goes.

PRISONER 10: VERONIKA

Trial 1 Song Title: Bloodletting, The Horror Inside Us Crime Location: Rooftop Special Image: Veronika stands in a dark room with blood all over the floor Murder Method: Veronika kneels with her hands on her chest in front of Es' mangled, bloody body, one of Es' shoes removed Voice Reveal: "My name is Veronika Grebenshchikova! If you don't mind, could you choose not to Forgive me? Death sounds boring. I'd rather stay alive, if you don't mind! To Forgive what I did... it would be denying everything I believe about my life... [Cackling laughter, that trails off with a wheeze] I really am a monster..."

(I know I put a warning for suicide and self harm at the beginning, but it gets extra intense and graphic in this section, so please beware.)

What a long song title! A fun one, though. It makes me wonder if Veronika's MV will have some kind of leech imagery in it. That's what my mind jumped to, anyways.

Speaking of blood, let's talk about Veronika's special image. It would be easy to jump to the conclusion that the blood on the floor belongs to the victim, but I actually think it's Veronika's blood. It's widely speculated that Veronika has the "harm yourself for fun" secret, and some people particularly say that her arm coverings are meant to cover up self harm scars on her arms. If, one day, she got particularly out of control, she could have wound up dripping her own blood all over whatever room that is. A dark interpretation for sure, but both Milgram and DRDT are too.

And, hey, we finally have an Es with shoes off! (...That feels like a really terrible thing to celebrate :((( ) I wouldn't have necessarily expected it from Veronika's crime, but it gives us a solid piece of information to theorize off of. Here's what I think might have happened.

I think that Veronika was super depressed/bored one day, and on the edge of suicide herself. Her friend (you know, the one who gave her the earring whose name I can't remember-- she/her pronouns, I think?) came over to help Veronika and try to save her life. However, whether due to the horror of seeing Veronika surrounded in her own blood or some deeply depressing, nihilistic words that came from Veronika's mouth, Veronika turned the tables and caused her friend to become suicidal instead. So, the friend went up to the roof, and jumped off of it.

However, when Veronika found her friend, she didn't react in tragedy. Instead, she found the results of her actions incredibly interesting, and skipped the horror movies phase straight to being fascinated with death itself. Death finally gave Veronika's life worth, and upon making this realization, she saw herself as a monster.

...Hopefully I wasn't just being incredibly edgy for no reason there. It is the course of actions that I find most plausible at this point, but also, I don't really see how there would be that much of a guilty/innocent argument here? Like, if Veronika firmly planned to do something like this again, then I don't see why an innocent would be viable, even if it was an accident the first time.

I also find it really interesting that she says that she wants a Not Forgiven verdict, but also says she doesn't want to die. Does she have reason to believe that an Innocent verdict would lead to death? Most people usually assume the other way around, if anything.

(Extra severe suicide/self harm warning over.)

PRISONER 11: Arei Nageishi

Trial 1 Song Title: Life's Queens Crime Location: Bowling Alley Special Image: Arei looks in at her unevenly cut hair in a bathroom mirror Murder Method: Arei hits Es in the head with a bowling ball Voice Reveal: "Arei Nageishi! Pfft! God, you're pathetic! Why the hell are we even here? How could anyone be stupid enough to do anything but Forgive me? Are you really that much of an idiot?! ...WHO'S THE WEAK ONE NOW, HUH?!"

Yeah, I can see how Arei's backstory could lend itself to murder as is. Given how similar her special image is to that one CG in Chapter 2, it definitely seems like the bullying from Arei's sisters persisted.

The fact that the title of the song is Life's Queens, plural, I would suspect that both sisters (why can I not remember their names) are probably victims here. Like, the song might start off with the two of them being the queens of life, but after Arei kills them, then she becomes the new queen.

The most interesting thing to me is that the crime location is in a bowling alley. That's a really public location. Did Arei kill her sister(s) while other people were watching? At the very least, you think it'd be caught on some kind of camera. That definitely speaks to the crime perhaps being a crime of passion, where Arei didn't plan to kill her sister(s) until the bowling ball was in her hand and the rage was coursing through her body.

But also, why were her sisters even there in the first place? Did they come to humiliate her while she was practicing her hobby? Exactly how much of a professional bowler is Arei in this AU? It'll be interesting to learn that as more information comes out.

PRISONER 12: Eden Tobisa

Trial 1 Song Title: Alarm Bells Crime Location: Bedroom full of clocks Special Image: An exhausted Eden sits at a work bench in front of several analog clocks that all read 6:00 Murder Method: Eden covers her eyes while the roman numeral for 6 (VI) glows on her hand, while Es lies on the floor Voice Reveal: "Uhm... Eden Tobisa. Even when things are looking down, we just have to try our best, and trust each other! I... I never wanted anyone to die! Es... why are you doing this? ...Wh-what have you done?!"

I definitely think it's an important detail that the clocks on Eden's desk are analog. Don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure that Eden has stated that she has a preference for making unique, detailed, antique-style clocks that could one day become a family heirloom. Analog clocks are clocks with faces and inner gears and such, which means that, unlike Rose (or even Mikoto, maybe), I don't think Eden is being forced to do work she doesn't enjoy. That doesn't mean she couldn't be unhappy at the quantity of work in front of her, but at least she shouldn't hate it at its core.

...Is the murder method magic???

No, seriously, what the hell is going on with Eden's glowing hand? Is it important that it's in Roman numerals as opposed to the Arabic numeral 6? Although Eden isn't prisoner 6 (that would be Nico; seems irrelevant?), there definitely seems to be an emphasis on the number 6 (VI) in Eden's story. I'm not coming up with anything particularly related to 6 in Eden's backstory. So, what gives?

My strongest idea is that... maybe Eden had to tell somebody that they were running out of time in some capacity (either on a project or in their life), and it caused the other person to die of shock? I guess that could be the girl she kissed, or someone else who she surprised with her canonical lesbianism. Although, someone dying of shock that Eden is gay would make Eden pretty obviously innocent, in my opinion.

For what it's worth, I do mostly believe her when she says that she didn't intend for anybody to die. The hand covering her eyes might imply that she was blind to the consequences her actions might have had. Not to say that covering your eyes can fully absolve you of guilt for a crime, of course. I wonder where you got that idea from, particularly for Eden...

PRISONER 13: Min Jeung

Trial 1 Song Title: 100% Perfection Crime Location: Untidy bedroom Special Image: Min is slumped over a desk, at which she had been writing the chemical formula for tetrodoxotin (thank you reverse image search) Murder Method: Es lies on the floor clutching at their neck as Min yells into a phone, "ln(x³ - 2 . 13) = 0" written on her arm Voice Reveal: "Min Jeung. This is ludicrous. How are we meant to expect a fair judgment when your "justice" is determined by one person's whims and biases? When an institution is non-functional, it is highly illogical to indiscriminately tear it down. Improving the basis already in place is by far the most constructive way to conduct process. There is no country in the world in which I would be judged a murderer. To say one person has the authority to decide that I am is a flagrant display of vanity. ...The condition has been met. There is no need for further intervention."

Fuck you for making me remember high school calculus (/lh). The answer is x = -1.042, if it's at all relevant to the story.

I truly expect it's a random equation, but in case it's relevant, I'll say what I think the answer could mean. It would make more sense if the answer had an "i" in it, representing an imaginary number created by taking the evenly-numbered root of a negative number, but because we have an odd numbered root, it doesn't. Anyways, you could read the answer as "negative: won zero for two." Basically, if there were some kind of match or competition that Min was in, she could see it as a negative that she won zero out of two times, AKA that she lost twice. Again, the actual answer is probably irrelevant, especially given that you only get this answer if you choose to round to three decimal places, but this is Milgram. Even the most unexpected of elements can be important to the story!

Not to mention, themes of competition are likely relevant to Min's story. Although it's debatable whether Hope's Peak Academy and the title of Ultimate Student exist in this universe, we know that Min's backstory involves her entering an academic competition in order to secure status for herself and money for her struggling family. Many people also theorize that her secret was one about poisoning the competition in order to get ahead. Combined with the formula for tetrodoxotin, a poison found in pufferfish that's more lethal than cyanide, it seems very likely that this is the path that Min's story is headed down.

However, I do believe that Min is largely telling the truth when she says that she wouldn't be judged a murderer in any country. Min should have been busy participating in whatever competition she was in, which means that someone else would have taken the action to actively poison the competitors, taking the blood off of Min's hands. However, the crime would have been committed for Min's sake, and Min may have even directed them to carry out the attack over the phone. She at least would have been aware of the plan, if you assume that the "condition being met" was her winning, and the "further intervention" would have been more poisoning. I'm not sure what exactly XF-Ture Tech would get out of helping Min in this situation, but perhaps we'll hear more about it later.

PRISONER 14: Xander Matthews

Trial 1 Song Title: Will of the Many Crime Location: Entire City Special Image: Xander rallies a crowd from atop a simple chair Murder Method: Xander stabs Es in the gut with a knife Voice Reveal: "Alexander Matthews. Just call me Xander. Don't you see how broken this entire system is?! What makes you think you hold a monopoly over morality, huh?! What gives you the right to Forgive or Not Forgive?! When something is rotten, you throw it away. It's the same with this twisted place! ...Warden? ...Ah... haha... I did it... You all can finally rest..."

We might be back to our good buddies the Spurling Foundation here with Xander. After all, he also has beef with the Spurlings, as they were the ones who polluted the water(?) in Xander's hometown while he was studying abroad, causing his family and hometown to die excruciating deaths. It would make sense if his friends and family were the ones he was saying could finally rest, after he led a rebellion against the Spurling Foundation and killed Duke.

Xander calling out to the Warden also makes me believe more strongly that this is what's going on. As DRDT enjoyers should be able to tell, Es is represented by Mai in this AU, and Mai (assuming she is Unnamed Student) was the one on the bus talking to Xander when he first revealed his backstory to us, the audience. In that video, she urged Xander to not get too caught up in negative memories involving the incident, nor to put himself in danger trying to enact revenge. If Mai remembers this universe's version of that conversation, on some level, it would make sense that she might look crestfallen that Xander acted on his impulses in her absence, and that Xander could notice that. I am assuming an emotion onto Mai, here, but I think it's likely what was implied?

Making the crime location the entire city, though, is... a bit intense? Even as an attempted murderer in canon and a basically confirmed murderer in this AU, I don't think that Xander is a huge fan of causing the deaths of innocents. In fact, the Spurlings killing innocents is what got him so riled up in the first place. Thus, I wouldn't think he'd tell his group to raze an entire town-- maybe if it had turned into, like, a Spurling-operated factory city, but even then, there'd be a lot of innocent employees in the line of fire. Perhaps the city could indicate that Xander's group had to hunt for Duke through the city, and Xander just happened to be the one to find him?

PRISONER 15: Charles Cuevas

Trial 1 Song Title: Chain Reaction Crime Location: Laboratory table with test tubes Special Image: Charles desperately kneels in front of a grave Murder Method: Es stands in a pool of blood with a question mark above their head, and Charles is fully absent Voice Reveal: "Charles Cuevas. I was hoping the Warden would be competent, at least, but clearly I was a fool to think that could ever be the case. Are you stupid?! Warden... Es... I have a request. ...Hgh... Ack!... kch [sharp inhale]"

Aha, classic Charles forgor moment. This will make for an interesting premise, indeed.

What I mean to say is, in DRDT canon, we know that Charles has childhood amnesia, as well of a debilitating fear of blood and dead bodies. These traits originated from the death of his brother, Elliot, and (in DRDT, at least) likely had something to do with dogs. However, Charles doesn't remember any of that happening until an outside source tells him about it. Therefore, it seems very likely to me that the question mark and Charles' absence is meant to represent that Charles doesn't remember what exactly his crime was, sort of like Mikoto.

It seems like Elliot's death will be Charles' fault, somehow. It might have something to do with the test tubes on the laboratory table that make up the crime location-- after all, it would be pretty irregular for dogs to be in that location, and we know little enough about the canonical dog incident that it may have been more convenient to make up something new. It could be an accidental poisoning, I guess? Or, maybe Charles accidentally caused some sort of explosion that Elliot needed to save him from, thus bringing some more blood and gore for Charles to be afraid of into the situation.

My other main point of interest is that special image. At first glance, it seems simple enough-- Charles is sadly visiting his brother's grave. But, there are a few contradictions in that interpretation. It isn't mentioned that Charles is a child in the picture, so I'm assuming the silhouette is of his current, adult, 20-ish form. Unless the crime was time shifted for purposes of the AU, Elliot should have died long ago. That means that it wouldn't have been the funeral, or, more importantly, anything that Charles would have been able to block out with his childhood amnesia. If the event is the same as DRDT, 20-something Charles shouldn't know that Elliot exists, much less the location of his grave or that he should be sad about Elliot's passing. So, what's going on here?

The simplest answer is just that Charles' crime was time shifted, and instead of childhood amnesia, it's 20-ish amnesia. The special image could be almost the exact moment where Charles forgot it all due to his trauma. I don't think we have enough evidence to theorize about anything counter to that at the moment, so I'll stick with it.

You can't leave me on a cliffhanger like this with that request, though!!! Is Charles going to try to strike a deal with Es like Kotoko did in t1? If so, what could it be? I'm so curious. Why is Charles Prisoner 15 aaaaaaaaa (/lh)

PRISONER 16: Teruko Tawaki

Trial 1 Song Title: Armageddon Crime Location: ??? Special Image: Teruko reaches out to a dark figure in a void of bright light Murder Method: Es lies as if in a coffin before a calm Teruko, who has a question mark on her left hand Voice Reveal: "Teruko Tawaki. Are you okay? You don't need to know anything about my crimes. I'm unforgivable. That's all you need, right? If you can find a way to do it... just kill me. ...[sigh] Why did I ever get my hopes up?"

And now we have Teruko to bring it all home! My, uh... my brain has been running a little wild on this one, so here's your warning to leave now before the delulu truly sets in.

...

Okay, your fate is now sealed. To talk about Teruko, I think it might be helpful to talk about our Warden at the same time.

WARDEN: Mai "Es" Akasaki

Song Title: Undercover Cover Song: Hibana Notable Characteristics: Covered left arm that Es doesn't want anyone to touch Special Phrase?: "This is not what I wanted"

Knowing canonical Mai (I say "knowing" as if her two canonical speaking roles aren't technically still a theory), she has a flower tattoo on her left arm. In Teruko's murder method image, she has a question mark on her left hand, very similar to how some believe that Teruko is also covering up a flower tattoo on her left arm in canon. Additionally, Teruko's special image really reminds me of this second anniversary art by DRDTdev, in which Teruko is reaching out to, who else, but Mai? (Nobody else wears gloves like that, to my knowledge.) Bringing attention to these details makes me think that they are very connected in this AU. In fact, I think it's possible that Teruko's victim was Mai.

While I don't have a link to one in particular, I know that there are theories floating around out there that Milgram is some kind of purgatory. If this AU follows that concept, then it would be totally fine if Mai was dead. This "Es" form of her would be reincarnated, which would be why they mostly look like Milgram's Es, but have red highlights and pointy eyes reminiscent of Mai. Other than the outfit, it seems like Milgram's wardens don't have to look like our Es, which means that, theoretically, there should be nothing stopping Mai from appearing exactly like herself. Whatever process Mai used to bring her ghostly self into Milgram might have messed up her appearance slightly, while the other students are prisoners who get to retain their unique looks.

Yeah, I said "bring herself into Milgram." I think Mai may haven been the one to bring all of the prisoners to the facility. Have you ever heard of the DRDT time loop theory? Based on some of Veronika's dialogue in the prologue, as well as hidden text on the DRDT Tumblr page, some people believe that the story of DRDT is a time loop, in which the students have been repeating this killing game over and over. Again, I don't have a link for this, but I think I've seen some versions of the theory where it was to protect them from something, maybe Ultimate Despair?

In this AU, I think Mai might have done something to bring the prisoners into Milgram for the same reasons the time loop might exist-- to protect them from something. Could have been whatever legal repercussions they would face for their crimes, or could have been a feared corruption of their personality. The first probably makes more logical sense, but the second would fit with what I wrote about Xander calling out to her. Could be both, also. Either way, MonoTV and the Trial system forces her to judge them, potentially sending some of them to their deaths, resulting in something that wasn't what Mai wanted.

I'm really glad that I have to pull on crack theories from both Milgram and DRDT to pull this off.

Here's the quicker rundown: whether they were all in a class or not, Mai at least individually knew all of these people before her death. However, Mai was tragically involved in an incident of Teruko's causing, possibly due to Teruko's bad luck, and she passed away. As a ghost(???), she was able to look over the realm of the living, and see that all of her friends were doing way, way worse than how she left them. All of them were succumbing to the worst parts of themselves, and becoming murderers!! So, she made a wish: that she wanted to see all of her friends again, and protect them from themselves by letting them listen to her good judgment once more. The wish actually succeeded, but not in the way that Mai wanted. Mai wasn't allowed to be herself, and she wouldn't remember her friends, nor would they recognize her. Additionally, the judgment was codified into a system that seemed to only punish her friends or worsen their existing ideals. She might be able to save some of them, but, would it be worth it, if she has to harm the others along the way...?

Well, that's my answer. I'd say there's about a 5% chance I've just cracked the entire thing wide open, and a 95% chance that this will all be very embarrassing as soon as, like, Levi's VD comes out. I don't really like bringing ghosts and "wishes" into Milgram or DRDT when there's no evidence either of them are present in either story. But, despite it all, this is still a first look, so I can be a little silly here.

Either way, I had a lot of fun writing and thinking about it!

I commend you for all of the effort you've put into this AU project, and all of the work I'm sure you will put in the future (assuming you continue on your plans of at least making a first trial). Hopefully reading all of this will convey some of the excitement we have for following this AU.

If anyone wants to talk about their own theories or counter points, I can try my best, although it honestly might be better to wait until some more information comes out before trying to get too deep into things. Also, my hands are tired from typing all this out-- somehow, I always seem to have more to say than I think I do. This has been my first thoughts on FF's DRDT Milgram AU, you have been very strong to make it through I-don't-even-know-how-many-words of me rambling, and I am now going back to trying very hard to not sink a ton of time into thinking about DRDT related media.

Aaaaaaah, and now people are making DRDT x SDRA2 swap AUs? Right after I finished DRDTtober and swore that I would take a break from drawing DRDT for a little bit?! You people, I swear (/aff).

DRDT + Milgram AU: Undercover (Introduction)

Finally succumbed to the Urges and came up with ideas for a full Danganronpa Despair Time - Milgram AU, and now I feel like sharing. This means giving each character a MV + VD concept (not a full VD though I ain’t writing that much dialogue, and not a full MV because who do you think I am), plus this Undercover post! I’m not sure if I’ll commit to this for a full three trials, or I’ll just drop it after just one, but I can guarantee I’ll do this trial in full. Feel free to make analysis posts (no pressure obvs), but also obvs don't expect this to be that good, I'm doing this for fun.

And if you come from the Milgram side, uh... have fun? I am curious about what people with no prior conceptions of these characters would think, but I do recommend DRDT if you haven't watched it (the overlap between the fandoms is non-trivial, I imagine you'll like it). If not, you should probably look up the character designs at least, but be wary that there will be DRDT spoilers.

As an obvious disclaimer just in case, I am not affiliated with either DRDT or Milgram in any way, this is just a fanmade AU done entirely for fun.

Basic Concept

Pretty simple. What if the 16 students of DRDT were prisoners in Milgram? This means they're all "murderers" by some loose definition of the word, implying most of their backstories must be changed to acommodate for that. For the prisoner pairs, I just paired them based on the Chapter 1 recap. The rest is pretty self-explanatory provided you know how Milgram works; three trials, vote Forgiven/Unforgiven, etc. I won't repeat it all here. You can go to the official Milgram YT channel for more information if you're not familiar.

Meet Es

Although they are of unspecified adult age, this universe’s Es is very similar to canon Es from the main series, at least in appearance. The only differences are red highlights in their hair, as well as sharp yellow eyes and taller height. They also wear arm sleeves on both their arms, being particularly adverse to people touching the left one, and their voice is slightly higher pitch. As for their personality… well, you’ll have to wait for the VDs, right? But as a heads up, they’re quite a bit nicer than canon Es, though they can still get pretty strict with the prisoners. 

(Can you tell who they’re connected to yet?)

Their uniform is the same as canon, including the band thing which in Milgram runes reads “reciffO eciloP”. The only difference is that their other band thing is longer and has the following runes:

(As a heads up, since there's no rune for 'q' I just used the rune for 'c/k' in its place. You probably don't need to translate it all to know what this says if you're familiar with DRDT lore)

Jackalope is replaced by DRDT canon MonoTV, no big changes to its personality. It still breaks the fourth wall and talks to an audience,which is odd for the prisoners (and Es) seeing as there is no audience in-universe (at least, that's what it claims). 

*Es’ VD is mostly the same, besides changes in dialogue caused by the difference in personalities. The only real difference is that there is no ‘extra cell.’

*Cover is still Hibana. 

Alright, let's get to the fun stuff.

Undercover

(It is highly recommended you know what the canon Undercover looks like before reading this, since a lot of it is pretty similar)

The opening is still the same minus Es' different appearance and MonoTV replacing Jackalope, and only starts changing when the prisoners begin showing up.

(Don’t- Don’t expect this to actually work as a song btw. I’m not insane enough to make that work)

UNDER Split in between decisions, my conscious is made up of torn stitches

Levi (01) holds a mostly neutral expression as he holds up his prisoner card, which displays his face alongside an image of an alleyway. His pose keeps changing slightly in smash cuts. Levi’s face darkens right before there’s a switch to the next prisoner.

(Note: I won’t mention the pose switching and the face on the card all the time, since that’s part of canon Undercover. Just assume it always repeats)

UNDER The beauty in simplicity, wilting with rising complexities

Arturo (02) has his chin up arrogantly at first, showing a prisoner card with a picture of a bathroom. He scoffs and turns around before the switch. 

UNDER A liar? No, that’s wrong! My honesty shines like a star in the night

David (03) (speaker persona) smiles nervously, rubbing at his cheek with a finger. His card shows a bedroom. He covers his face with his free hand, sighing before the switch.

UNDER A sinner? No, you’re kidding! I’m innocent as can be, just don’t mind the gaps

Whit (04) throws a cheeky grin to the camera, doing a finger gun with his free hand. His card shows a park. He nervously rubs the back of his neck before the switch.

(Note: Yes I gave him 04 because of the tetraphobia thing sue me-)

UNDER With a fury and a passion, unstoppable, show them your fangs

Ace (05) snarls at the camera. His card shows a city street. He throws it to the floor angrily before the switch. 

(Note: Sometimes I wasn't quite able to tie their talent to their murder, so it's either tangential to their story or has been replaced with something similar. I am mentioning this with Ace for... no reason in particular, sure, you'll believe that)

UNDER Your fears and anxieties, Respond to the stress, show me fight or flight

Nico (06) hides under the part of their cloak which looks like a scarf, peeking out nervously. Their card shows a locker room. They take a step back as the scene switches.

INSERT CHORUS HERE

UNDER Each existence is like no other, Lucky, unlucky, showtime reaches all

J (07) holds up her card with an unsatisfied expression. It shows a bridge surrounded by camera equipment. She rolls her eyes as the scene switches.

UNDER And yet, it’s all the same In the end, this wretched still life goes on

Rose (08) yawns as she holds up her card lazily. It shows a large dining room. The card slips from her hand as she falls asleep.

UNDER It’s too much, too much, I’m high strung, please forgive my sins

Hu (09) looks nervous, glancing around as if to find a place to hide. Her card shows a zither in a non-descript room. She drops her card, and closes her eyes with a pained expression, a hand on her chest. 

UNDER Please do condemn me, Bloodletting, the horror inside us is what makes me feel.

Veronika (10) spins and gives the camera a bright smile as she pulls out her card. It shows a rooftop. She throws the card in the air dramatically, laughing as it spins around and falls beside her. Her eyes fall back on the camera, and she smirks menacingly. 

UNDER  Unopposable, incontestable Merry kings, life’s queens, for me they bow down.

Arei (11) is sticking out her tongue and looking to the side dismissively. Her card shows a bowling alley. She laughs into her hand before the scene switch.

UNDER My weakness haunts me, Alarm bells are ringing, there's no going back.

Eden (12) fidgets with her hands, shaking nervously. She hides her face behind her card as she shows it, but her teary eyes are still visible over it. The card shows a bedroom full of clocks. She cries into her hands before the switch. 

INSERT CHORUS HERE

[The music winds down, a bridge of sorts. As it plays, a few scenes are shown, where only the characters’ silhouettes are visible, white noise covering them]

[01: A steaming kettle covers most of the foreground. In the background, Levi is seen sitting at a table, head slumped forward. Most of the table is visible, but no one else is in the frame]

[02: Arturo is seen to the left, holding a white turtle neck shirt in his hands. Behind him, an open suitcase sits on a bed, clothes splayed haphazardly around it]

[03: David stands alone on an empty stage, arms wide out. The spotlights are all on him. The entire stage and some of the front row seats are visible, with David’s silhouette only covering a small part in the center of the frame]

[04: A computer monitor covers almost the entire frame. There are countless photos and words, but they’re all too blurry to see, with the exception of a small message on top which reads “Analyzing profiles…” Whit is reflected on the screen, resting his head on one of his fists]

[05: Ace sits on a motorcycle, looking up and admiring the night sky which takes up most of the frame]

[06: Nico is crouched beside a cat, holding out a pink mouse toy for it to play with. Only their legs are visible, but there is a puddle of water under Nico]

[07: J has her palm spread out all over the screen, as if blocking the camera. There are flashes of light behind her, but the source is impossible to see]

[08: Rose sits slumped in a chair, hands on her face. All around her, dozens of canvases can be seen, painted entirely in black. Small bits of color poke out at the bottom, but no full paintings are visible]

[09: The camera is entirely focused on the top of a zither. Hu’s hand is visible, touching the strings with her plectra]

[10: Only Veronika’s footwear is visible over a dark floor. The rest of the scene is filled entirely by blood]

[11: Arei stands in front of a bathroom mirror. She’s holding the right side of her hair, the only part that’s visible. It looks very unevenly cut]

[12: Eden is holding her head in her hands, slumped over a work desk full of small machinery. Behind her are a multitude of analog clocks of various designs, all showing the same time; 6:00]

[13: Min is sitting on a chair, slumped forward and apparently collapsed over a notebook. A pen sits just beside her right hand. A bit of the writing can be seen, showing this:]

[The brown part being Min's hair. Don't make fun of me I'm using Paint and have zero art skills]

[14: Xander, the focus of the shot, stands in front of a crowd, standing on a simple chair. His fist is in the air, and so are the fists of everyone in the crowd]

[15: Charles is kneeling over a grave, the name on it hidden behind the silhouette. Charles is pulling at his hair with his hands. Other graves are visible around him, but the edges of the screen are darkened and it’s impossible to see them well]

[16: Teruko’s hand is reaching out to a black figure, this one without white noise. The figure is completely non-descript, more a simple shadow than a proper silhouette. Blinding white light surrounds this figure] 

UNDER No mistakes, no corrections, 100% Perfection, results shall not vary. 

Min (13) wears a neutral expression, and she holds her card perfectly upright. Her pose changes only to match the exact angles actual mugshots use. Her card shows an untidy bedroom. Before the switch, she lowers her hand, and looks briefly to the side, before turning back to the camera. When she does, her left eye flashes magenta behind her hair. 

UNDER Fighting for true justice, Stand strong, a reflection of the will of the many

Xander (14) is glaring at the camera, moving his card around flippantly. Said card shows a window overlooking an entire city. Xander throws the card away before throwing a punch at the screen.

UNDER Leave no room to hide, No hesitation, a chain reaction of truth unfolds

Charles (15) looks serious, if a bit annoyed as he holds up his card. It shows a laboratory table with several test tubes. He turns his back to the camera, adjusting his goggles, but gives one last, softer look behind him as the scene switches. 

UNDER Or shall the secrets remain? What lies beyond the lies, armageddon untold

Teruko (16) looks at the camera with cold eyes, but a hint of a frown on her lips. Her pose never changes; unlike everyone else, her segment is one continuous shot. It starts with her holding her card at an angle such that only her face is visible on it. She closes her eyes solemnly, before finally flipping her card around so only the backside is shown. It has the Milgram logo combined with the DRDT logo. She never shows the rest of the front of the card, as the scene switches moments after. 

[Pre-chorus, as the prisoners hold their hands to their mouths before a scene of them smiling plays. At the end, for a few frames, a white camellia blooms, before there’s a sudden shift in scenery as we hit the final chorus. All the prisoners’ silhouettes have a still shot each with Es, with a blood splatter always under the latter. The scene starts to focus on each individually]

[Levi’s punching Es in the face, Es thrown to the floor from the impact. Brass knuckles are barely visible on his hand. Levi’s shouting, as are all the other prisoners]

[Arturo is kneeling, facing away from Es. The latter is laying on the floor behind him in what would be a pretty uncomfortable position. Arturo is holding his head in his hands, his mouth visible from the side and open in a shout. One of Es’ shoes is off]

[David is holding Es by the neck of their shirt, shouting at their face (from now on I’ll stop clarifying that they’re shouting). The following symbol appears over where his eyes would be, glowing yellow: 正]

[Whit is pointing what looks to be a gun at Es, who is recoiling as if they’ve been shot in the heart]

[Ace is seen running, Es’ body falling to the ground beside him and twisting as if they’d been bumped into]

[Nico sits on top of Es’ back. With one of their hands, they’re grabbing onto Es’ hair and apparently pushing it forward. With the other they’re holding two ends of a wire firmly planted on Es’ neck]

[J stands normally, pointing what seems to be a remote control at Es. The latter is face-up on the floor, their limbs contorted in unnatural angles]

[Rose is standing, facing away from Es, who is kneeling and grabbing at their throat. A small jar sits beside them, the cap taken off]

[While standing, Hu is grabbing Es by the throat with both hands, blood coming from the Warden’s throat]

[Veronika is kneeling besides Es’ face-up body. Her hands are on her chest, and there is blood under her as well as the Warden. Meanwhile, Es’ limbs are contorted in unnatural ways, and one of their shoes is off]

[Arei is violently swinging a bowling ball at Es’ head, causing their body to twist around as it falls]

[Eden is standing, covering her eyes. Her right hand has a Ⅵ symbol glowing bright yellow. Es is uncomfortably laying face-up on the floor]

[Min is standing with her back turned to Es, who is kneeling on the floor and grasping at their neck. Min is shouting into a landline phone. Along her arm, an equation glows bright yellow:

ln(x³ - 2 . 13) = 0]

[Xander is grabbing Es’ shoulder, plunging a knife into their stomach]

[Es is standing neutrally, but there is still blood on the floor. A glowing yellow question mark floats above them. Charles is nowhere to be seen]

[Teruko is kneeling calmly besides Es, who is lying face-up with their hands crossed over their chest as if in a coffin. A question mark glows on Teruko's left hand. Teruko is the only prisoner besides Charles who is not screaming]

[The song winds down while a sped up and translucent version of the video plays in the background. A shadow begins growing in the middle, and for just a moment, two sharp yellow eyes stare at the camera from the center of the screen. The finale simply has Es exiting to the left as they do in canon Undercover]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there's Undercover! How we feeling? Hope you enjoyed! Take care!

[kiraakirana]

a place to start - h. kakashi

It has been a few days since the construction next to Y/N's house started. Day and night was filled with hammering sounds, and to make it worse, it was right next to her bed. As a result, she couldn't sleep for days. Kakashi, who had been one of her longest friend, noticed how restless she was because she couldn't perform up to her usual standard during missions.

"What's up with you these days?" he asked while sitting down next to her.

"I haven't slept in days. The construction next to my house continues even at night, damn it," she replied groggily, resting her dizzy head against the tree trunk.

It was a few minutes before Kakashi opened his mouth to speak again but this time, he said something truly out of character, "Want to stay by my place?"

Y/N slowly processed his words and turned his head to look at him questionably, eyebrows furrowed. "I mean, it's okay if you don't want to. It's just that you have low iron or something right? It could take a toll on the success of the mission if you're sick."

Y/N bursted out laughing, hearing Kakashi trying to explain himself while scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "You know, that was so out of character. You're such a private person so this is kind of new. Anyways, thanks, Kakashi. I'd drop by your place tonight."

-

So that was how Y/N end up on Kakashi's bed while he lied on the couch. It had been an hour since she laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling because no matter how tight she close her eyes, she couldn't put her mind at ease. She saw Kakashi reading his book and sat up. "Kakashi, why don't you just sleep next to me?"

"Huh?"

"Sleep next to me," she said, patting the empty space next to her, "I feel kind of bad if I sleep here and you on the couch. I'm not a messy sleeper, so you don't have to worry about being knocked over," she grins, tucking her messy hair behind her ears.

"Are you sure about that? I'm fine with being here, you know. I usually don't sleep anyway."

Noticing how Kakashi seemed set on his decision of not moving, Y/N walked to him and linked her arm to his, dragging him to the bed. "If I'm with you, you have to sleep. You're going to die from your lack of sleep someday if you keep doing that."

"Is that even possible?"

"I don't know," Y/N said, laughing a little. Kakashi chuckled and ended up sitting next to her, a book on his hand as she drifted off to sleep. When Y/N woke up an hour later to check on Kakashi, she saw him sleeping peacefully. Not used to seeing Kakashi like this, Y/N smiled to herself. She knew Kakashi suffers from insomia due to everything that happened in his past. She can't help but worry about him most of the time, despite knowing how much of an excellent shinobi he is. Therefore she was glad to see him in such tranquility, it's the least she could do.

-

It was around 2 in the morning when Y/N heard Kakashi's heavy and irregular breathing. He was sitting up straight with his hand covering his face. "Kakashi, what happened?" she asked worriedly as she sat facing him.

"Sorry," he whispered weakly, "I woke you up, didn't I?"

Y/N has lost all her rationality and didn't think about it when she pulled him in for a hug, resting her head on his shoulder. She ran her fingers through his white hair soothingly, "Shh, nevermind that." She pulled him closer so that they could share her body warmth since she noticed how cold he was, "It's okay, now. I'm here," she calmly said.

She knew it had to be one of his mental breakdown from a nightmare he must've had. She knew from the longest time that Kakashi was always suppressing his emotions. In a way, they're the same. They both had no one to confide into. She knew how lonely that feeling is, so now that she's here, she didn't want Kakashi to feel go through that alone. She often wished that she has someone by her side during her nervous breakdown, therefore she wanted to be there for Kakashi.

She also knew loneliness is hard to erase, especially if you had been so used to it. But if her presence could make even the slightest difference in his life, then she's willing to do whatever it takes, no matter how long.

She felt Kakashi shivering so she started drawing small circles on his back to calm him down. Once she felt that he had regained his regular breathing, she pulled him away as she stared into his eyes and unmasked face, hands resting on his shoulder.

She started caressing the scar below his eye and gave him a smile. "Kakashi, please know that you're not alone. I will always be with you when you need me, you don't have to shoulder your pain alone, you know. I'm willing to share it with you.

And your past, we both know we can't change them. They make us who we are. In other words, past is bittersweet. But despite everything, despite what your past may be, I'll accept you for who you are. Because the present you has become very important to me," she took a deep breath as she studied his face which he kept hidden from everyone. "And more than everything in the world, I don't want to lose you. So, thank you, for surviving until now."

The next thing she did was something done unconsciously and without much thinking about the consequences it may bring. She rested both of her palms on Kakashi's cheeks and leaned in, planting a soft kiss on the scar below his left eye.

Realizing what she had done, she dropped her hand and hung her head embarrassedly, "I'm sorry." It was also an effort to hide her blushing cheeks because she was feeling hot all over. Has she lost her mind? What on earth was she thinking?

Kakashi suddenly grabbed her hand and brought her closer. There was almost no space between them. Her heart was beating like crazy. She was afraid that he could hear the loud beatings because then he would know how much she's in a disarray right now.

Kakashi looked at her eyes in a way he had never before. There was a hint of gratefulness and determination in his eyes before they dropped to her lips. He leaned in and kissed them slowly but immediately pulled away as he wasn't sure if she wanted it or not.

Y/N who felt her knees went weak, was sure she could turn into a puddle of water at any given minute. She turned her head away, trying to hide the rosy tint of her cheeks. Kakashi dropped his head on her shoulder and said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Surprised because he seemed to misunderstand, Y/N grabbed his shoulders and brought her hands to his cheeks before pulling him in for another kiss. This one to reassure him, that she too, felt the same way. For a very long time now, to be honest. But it was today that she finally came into peace with how she was feeling, no longer in denial about it and no longer trying to refuse it.

It was another short kiss. She was nervous and she wasn't exactly experienced on kissing. Kakashi on the other hand, was a very experienced kisser. He knew exactly how to put butterflies in her stomach (an in other areas as well, lol jk).

They pulled away for a second. Registering everything that had happened. Deciding that they both want more since those two short kisses don't seem to pay for the amount of years that they've both spent liking each other in secret, Kakashi leaned in and once he's close enough, Kakashi whispered, "Thank you, Y/N," before kissing her again. This one is long and passionate. She swore to God she could feel Kakashi saying 'I love you' against her lips. Damn, her head's in a frenzy and she felt her entire body heating up.

Still feeling very shy, once they pulled away from each other, Y/N buried her head in the crook of Kakashi's neck. She was a blushing mess. What she didn't know was Kakashi also has the same tint on his cheeks. They both ended up laughing while still embracing each other. Praying to God or whoever it is above to stop the time for a while.

She didn't know what she has done to earn herself a very precious person. Kakashi who was always followed by the shadow of loneliness and thinking he's going to be alone for the rest of his life, questioned himself if he truly deserves such a goddess who loves him for everything that he is.

"I promise I'll always stay with you."

It was a place to start. For the both of them who finally found light in their darkness.

- A/N: I just watched a bit of Kakashi's backstory since I'm still on season 6 of Shippuden, but I can't imagine the pain he goes through at such a young age. I feel like despite Kakashi trying his best to discard his emotions, he'd still be really fragile and nothing comforts him more other than reassurance and appreciation (as much as he hates to admit it). He can be really soft when he finally lets his guard down with the person he trusts (and believe me it takes tons of years for this man to open up but once he does, he'd turn jelly around you and becomes a big puppy who just wants to cling around you) or in other words, turns into a completely different person who craves affection. Ok that's too long for an author note lol. bye guys.

oh and i found the picture on pinterest but i couldn’t find the artist so you can notify me if u know who the artist is and i’ll credit them!

[forthisone]

Thoughts on Handmaid’s Tale Season 4 so far Spoilers up to S4E8, the episode I’ve just watched.

Fair warning: This kind of went from me trying to explain why the show feels wrong for me now in a measured way, to a full on rant wall of text. This is maybe something that should be a diary entry more than something that should exist publicly, but fuck it.

This is all just my opinion. I know some people have problems with S4 (like me) and some people are finding it an improvement on S3. Everyone finds their own things to connect with on this show, different people have different experiences--it’s a very hard-hitting show and it affects people in different ways--and my perception of the show will be different to others. I just wanted to get my thoughts down before I read too much other analysis of what other people think. This season I’ve felt myself in a cycle of feeling uncomfortable about most of the content, and then reading what other people think, feeling like I’m wrong to be feeling how I’m feeling, and somehow giving it all another chance, finding the caveats that allow me to keep watching. There’s like... one scene in twenty that I find satisfying, and the clown in me keeps watching. But I’m finding myself feeling more and more disconnected from this show that I used to love. Especially now that I’m heavily invested in another show that I actually find satisfying.

Trigger warnings for all the topics that come with watching this show, including sexual assault. Also lots of angry language from me!

When I watched Seasons 1 and 2, I really valued the show. It was painful to watch, of course. But I thought the story was important and there were elements of hope and love and goodness amongst the bad that were ‘worth’ the pain of watching it for me.

Now I just roll my eyes all. the. damn. time. All I can imagine when I watch is the writers wanking themselves off creating new situations of torture for the characters, turning these human characters into caricatures to play out their images. I don’t really feel like they actually care about the arcs anymore, they just want the same cycle on repeat. I don’t know what I expected for Janine but to see her back at Eye HQ, probably about to become a Handmaid again, and for the scene to somehow feel like it’s focusing on Lydia’s pain? Makes me feel sick.

Also seeing the Waterfords being applauded... making that the legacy of June’s testimony...ugh. I understand maybe why they did it, they’re shining a light on all the misguided right-wing bs that exists in society today. How there are people in the world who find ways and reasons to support these kinds of monsters. I just... it was such a climactic moment, right? For June to finally testify against Fred? For him to face his charges? And it ends up being a victorious moment for him and Serena? Fuuuuck that. I hope it’s temporary and karma comes around for them but I’m so almost done with this show that I don’t really care any more.

side rant: How fucking unrealistic was it that they even let Fred speak to June in the courtroom. And let him go on. Give me a fucking break. And also that they just let her walk away...?

I feel weird criticising anything June does because who am I to judge how she deals with pain for what she’s been through, right? But again I just feel like... it’s a fictional story. It should have a purpose, right? I don’t understand what the writer’s intentions are. Are we meant to be disturbed by her actions (with Emily? with Luke?) I think so? I don’t understand what the end goal is with how they are writing her? Am I just a perfectionist that wants happy endings for everyone and people to heal in unrealistic ways? Maybe. I didn’t expect it all to be plain sailing once she got to Canada... of course not, but I don’t like how she’s dictating how other people deal with their own trauma, like she’s some kind of therapist. I want people sitting in a room and crying and going through shit together and connecting. I don’t want endless shots of people staring into space and talking about ways they’d like to kill people. I totally get that they are all dealing with trauma, that they are not perfect people, but I just don’t like how they are painting what June does to be the right thing and not just the actions of someone who is hugely traumatised and needing help herself (and seemingly not receiving it currently)? Again, I repeat: it’s not what June is doing that I have an issue with, but the way it’s framed in the show as some kind of victory, or the “right thing”. I don’t get what they’re trying to do.

The fucking PINNACLE of this for me was the ending of S4E1 where they have June hand Mrs Keyes a murder weapon in front of her rapist and say “make me proud” and there’s never a question, there’s not even a NOTE, that maybe this isn’t how this situation should be dealt with. That maybe having a minor kill her rapist and then climb in to bed with June covered in his blood and tell her “I love you” (iirc) as the ending note of the episode isn’t healthy. This is the sick feeling that has been in my mouth since the beginning of S4 and I think it began with this scene.

Lydia. What the fuck even is Lydia’s storyline, beyond just wanting to keep Ann Dowd on our screens? She feels unworthy or like she has to prove herself or something. We get it. I don’t give a shit. She’s a monster who didn’t even have a backstory that made me understand on some level why she is the way she is. Why are we focusing on her pain over Janine? WHY.

Moira. To be honest Moira is the best thing about this show for me currently. She’s making me able to cope with it, because she keeps saying the things that I’m thinking in her scenes, and I’m so grateful for it, because it makes me feel like I’m not going crazy to be hating some of the things I’m seeing. Samira Wiley is a delight to have on the show.

Luke. I feel like... he’s a character that, in my opinion, they are getting right. His scenes don’t feel jarring to me (in terms of what the character is doing). That’s not to say that I don’t find some of his behaviour jarring, but I feel like... he’s not a caricature, he’s still a human character that has flaws and redeeming qualities. I think OT is playing the scenes really well. Of course it’s fucked up that he went to the trial without June’s permission. But I feel like Luke would do that. Especially when June isn’t talking to him about any of it, and he feels like he needs to understand it to make sense of the impact it’s having. Of course he’s ludicrous to suggest they can just “move on”. But he’s a human who desperately wants June back, the way he remembers her, the memory he’s been clinging on to her for 7? years and is in denial that that can’t be any more. I don’t have to think the character himself is perfect to still find the scenes interesting and content that I appreciate because it’s scenes that explore the complexities of human relationships. Societal expectations of husbands and wives. Exploring that. The pressure on women to feel like they have to produce children or they are a disappointment. Representation that you can be sexually assaulted by someone who is your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband and not only by dangerous strangers in dark alleyways. That that could happen (to a man, too) and that they could choose to stay with her/him. That they couldn’t feel like they could talk about it (because who is there to talk about it with?)

Lawrence. Again it just feels like he’s on our screen for no purpose other than to include Bradley Whitford in the show. I don’t understand what his root motivation is, or what his goals are in what he is doing (does he want Gilead to continue? does he secretly want to bring it down? I’ve got no idea). I really have no interest in his character other than the fact that Bradley is a good actor and I think it’s interesting to watch him.

Rita. I’ve enjoyed her scenes too. I don’t really have much to say about them because I haven’t had a problem with them, only that I wish she was in it more, perhaps to bring out June’s human side a bit more. Their reunion in hug in the last episode was one of my favourite moments this season, because they can relate to each other on a level the others can’t. They lived in the same house.

Emily. Again, I feel the same way about her as I feel about Rita really. I feel like they just dip into her character on an occasional episode and go “tick. we’ve focused on Emily this episode. let’s move on.”

Nick. As you may or may not know reading this, my involvement in the THT fandom has largely been as a Nick/June shipper (you can go back in my nick x june tag to see this). When I talk about “elements of hope and love and goodness amongst the bad that were ‘worth’ the pain of watching it for me”, I’m really talking about N/J. So I have a lot of feelings about Nick. I could go on a whole rant here (narrator: she ended up going on a whole rant here) about how I wish Nick was acknowledged more, how I feel like his writing (when it actually exists) this season has been weird, how I feel like he’s no longer the character that I loved from Seasons 1 & 2. I think what it boils down to is, that they fucked Nick up for me (personally) when he went from “just a driver” to a Commander. I didn’t find it realistic and I don’t think it’s what they had planned for him, I think they’re just making it up from season to season and this is NEVER more apparent than with Nick. How he’s gone from washing Waterford’s car and an Eye for Pryce to apparently “leading the battle in Chicago”. And I’ve gone through weeks, months, years, of discussions with other Nick fans about this, some of whom feel the new backstory is still valid for him and makes sense, some who don’t. Some who can justify his scenes this season, others who find it jarring like me. Again, it’s a personal thing and I want so badly to love this character but honestly I feel like he’s either just neglected (most of the time) or he’s a character they just use to create storylines for other people with no real care or consistency for his own arc (edited to add: also I think they just use him to create this false sense of tension: “is he good??? is he bad???”, when anyone who paid even an iota of attention to him in the past knows he has THE SOFTEST HEART IN THE WORLD and would never betray June). He hasn’t even mentioned his daughter in two seasons (only in a discussion prompted by June in 3.06). THAT is not the Nick I know from Season 2 who cried as he held his daughter for the first and only time. I WANT THIS CHARACTER BACK. I don’t trust the writers with his story any more and it makes me sad and it makes me less invested. And I’ve felt like this since the beginning of Season 3. That’s not to say I’ve hated all his scenes but... there’s just not enough good content for me to still be invested at this point. Scenes like the bridge scene in Season 4... the display of emotion in that scene was clear but in the context of the rest of the show, I didn’t buy it. If you want me to believe that June still feels strongly enough about him that she’s going to run romantically across a bridge to him into his arms like a scene out of The Notebook or The Bodyguard, then maybe have her speak about him to ANY CHARACTER, or any voice over, once she gets to Canada (and I don’t really include the one line mentioning him to Nichole). Because otherwise, that bridge scene just feels like pandering to me, again it just feels like boxticking (”let’s keep the Nick/June fans happy”) and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’m still grieving for the Nick/June scenes from Seasons 1 and 2 that felt so much more authentic to me than the bridge kiss, because they had context and they weren’t a sidenote, because Nick actually appeared more than once every 3 episodes.

Am I done with my rant? I think I’m done with my rant.

[beybladefanboy]

Top 5 Favourite Beyblade Characters

Random and unasked for but I figured I would talk about my favourite characters in the Beyblade Metal Saga.

#5 A tie between Chris and Hikaru

Chris

I’m putting these two in the same spot because I wanted both of them to be on this list and a “top 6” doesn’t have as good of a ring to it as a “top 5.” Anyways, the first time I watched Metal Fury, I didn’t care much about Chris. Now however, I find his arc of being stuck in a job that brings him no joy to be incredibly relatable. His lack of passion for Beyblade makes complete sense: the fun of the sport was completely sucked out when it became an obligation for him and he wasn’t allowed to fight for himself. He was completely obligated to his employer and had little choice in the matter. That would suck away anyone’s passion, trust me, I know. So seeing the light return to his eyes as he rediscovered his passion for Beyblading was incredibly satisfying.

Hikaru

A lot of the appeal of Hikaru is admittedly that she is a female blader, and yeah, it is great having a strong female character. (We need more of those) What’s great about Hikaru however is that she isn’t just a token girl character or a mary sue: she is treated the same as any other blader and is allowed to fail and feel emotions without being degraded. I like that we even see a bit of her backstory where we learn that she is driven to be the best blader because of her likely deceased mother’s words. It’s a shame that she quit Beyblade due to her trauma but I also think it’s understandable and that it was interesting to explore that trauma. The moment that broke my heart rewatching Metal Masters was when Hikaru sees Dark Tsubasa and is paralyzed by terror, clearly remembering what Ryuga did to her. Beyblade’s most powerful scenes to me are the ones that delve into a character’s mind and allows me to see their thoughts and feelings. It allows me to understand and be more attached to the character and we got a lot of that from Hikaru and Chris.

#4 Yuki

Yuki is kind of underrated in my opinion but then again, so is the entirety of Metal Fury. Yuki was a really fresh character for the series. Nearly every character is extremely reckless: acting first, thinking later so it was really refreshing to see a character who overthinks everything to the point of anxiety. I just relate more to a character that doubts himself and has to fight to overcome not just the great evil but his own self-doubt and fear as well. Also, I love that scene where he fights Ryuga. He probably knows he doesn’t stand a chance against a guy like him but he doesn’t care because he’s fighting for his friends. I can relate to that. When I’m just doing something for myself, I tend to doubt and question myself but when I’m standing up for my friends, I show no mercy. So yeah, Yuki is a really relatable character, as well as a pure cinnamon roll that needs more love.

#3 Kyoya

If you asked who my favourite Beyblade character was two and half years ago, I would’ve answered “Kyoya” without any hesitation. While I do still really like him, I think his character was kind of fumbled in Metal Fury. I’ll talk about that separately though because I want this to be a positive post. Still, Kyoya is a great character. I like how he develops from a villain to that one liner asshole friend of Gingka’s. While I do like him unironically, Kyoya is honestly just funny to me. He is so ridiculously arrogant about his own skills but he actually is as good as he says he is. He’s also a tsundere. He’s absolutely a tsundere. He’s always helping his friends with whatever bullshit they’re doing: helping them infiltrate the Dark Nebula, going to look for Gingka when he disappears, helping them infiltrate Hades city, going with them to look for the Legendary Bladers, and on two separate occasions, staying behind to fight someone so the others can go forward. Even his determination to beat Gingka feels more like friendly competition than actual malice. And yet he insists he doesn’t care about them with lines like, “It’s not like I came to save you or anything.” It’s honestly kind of majestic. He’s also a complete badass. He always gets back up after a loss and fights to the bitter end and, sometimes to the detriment of himself but never his Beyblade. When Leone was on the verge of breaking to pieces in The Fearsome Libra, he forfeited the match to stop that from happening, risking humiliation and accepting defeat to do the right thing. That is genuinely admirable. It takes courage to fight but even more courage to admit defeat. Also, his fight against Ryuga in Metal Fusion is insane. Kyoya nearly falls so many times but keeps himself on his feet and rises up again. It takes being stabbed in the heart by the dark power for Kyoya to be defeated. Out of everyone, Kyoya came the closest to defeating Ryuga through sheer will and determination alone. What a badass.

#2 Tsubasa

Similar to Yuki, Tsubasa is also a pretty unique character for this series. While he is passionate about fighting like all the others, Tsubasa is much more thoughtful and cool-headed, which is appealing especially among a cast of hot-headed crazy characters. When Tsubasa is first introduced, he’s kind of a mystery. We don’t know his true intentions or alignment until we learn that he was working for the WVBA, about 15 episodes after his initial introduction. This unpredictability made him interesting to watch in Metal Fusion as I didn’t know what he was going to do next. Then in Metal Masters, he becomes even more interesting. While it was emotionally intense to watch, I think the “Dark Tsubasa” arc is one of this series’ greatest achievements. It revealed a completely new layer of personality to Tsubasa and gave him so much development. 

While he was being somewhat controlled by the dark power, it is made clear through the dialogue that that side of him was always there and the dark power just enhanced and unmasked it. He did often hide his true emotions and intentions in Metal Fusion after all. The scenes where Tsubasa interacts with his dark self are very interesting and relatable to me because I often try to hide my negative emotions and avoid situations where they might come out until those feelings fester into madness, which is essentially what Tsubasa did. However, the resolution to this arc is what makes it so special to me. Tsubasa doesn’t drive out the darkness or continue to repress it: he accepts the darkness as part of who he is because everyone has darkness in them and the way to control it is to become one with it. And in the end, he becomes a stronger blader and person as a result of this arc. This is legitimately inspiring and helpful to me. It’s important to remember that we are not defined by our worst thoughts/feelings, we are defined by how we handle them and accepting ourselves, flaws and all, is important. So really that arc alone makes Tsubasa one of my favourite characters but he also has an appealing personality as well. It’s a shame he was kind of underused in Metal Fury but I love what we got from him.

#1 Ryuga

Yeah, okay, this was obvious. Take one look at my feed or even my profile picture and you could probably guess that I love Ryuga. Two and a half years ago, I hated him with a passion but after rewatching the show again, I realized I only really hated him because of what he did to Hikaru, Tsubasa, and Kyoya which yes was horrible and I don’t condone it in any way but he was under the influence of the dark power at that point and he never does anything quite that awful again. Anyways, onto the positives. Ryuga in Metal Fusion is the best villain the show ever had. He poses a significant threat and was the first person to legitimately defeat Gingka. He’s also a terrifying sadist that cackles at others’ pain. If Ryuga had stayed like that, I would probably still like him as a character but I certainly wouldn’t have developed a crush. Damn, that would’ve been nice. But alas, even in Metal Fusion, Ryuga is somewhat sympathetic when you remember that he is just a kid and was both used by Doji and not even in full control of himself because of the dark power. He is seen trying to resist its control in the final battle after all. It’s interesting to see a character who is literally corrupted by the power he sought out and actually does learn from his mistake. In Metal Masters, he realized that humans’ greed and hatred was what caused the dark power to be so harmful and decided to draw the power from its original source, before it was tainted by humans, and became super powerful. Even if you hate Ryuga, you have to admit that is awesome. And once he stopped being a sadistic villain, he became much more unpredictable as sometimes he would even help the main heroes in Metal Masters, albeit for selfish reasons. Ryuga sort of feels like a combination of traits I liked most in Tsubasa and Kyoya. He has the unpredictability and loner attitude of Tsubasa and the confidence and determination of Kyoya. Also, I don’t think I need to say that Ryuga is a badass. That’s not even an opinion: it’s something that we all know to be a fact. I mean, this is the guy who launched his Beyblade at a floating city, wrecking it enough to send it crashing into the water and causing a reactor meltdown that nearly destroyed the earth. That last part was unintentional and in all fairness, he did help stop the end of the world, but still, he is both powerful and reckless enough to do something like that. He was kind of frustrating in Metal Fury but I did like his friendship with Kenta and while his blind pursuit of power was annoying, I gotta admire the ambition. And… yeah, I cried at his death. I cried harder at that than anything else in this show at any other point I watched it, including when I was a kid even though I knew it was coming. Even though his motivations for fighting Nemesis were far from righteous, he still died trying to defeat the great evil and his final act was giving Kenta the star fragment to give the heroes the chance they needed to win. Ryuga died a hero, plain and simple. I wish he had lived so we could see him develop even more after that moment but either way, Ryuga is a great character. He’s the best villain in season one and I love his fiery personality and aesthetic in the following seasons.

[familyagrestefanblog]

You mentioned in one of your posts that you'd love to talk about every abusive thing Gabriel (and Nathalie) did to Adrien. Please do that!

You know what? You are damn right

Even though I cant make a whole essay analysis off of it right now ( I wanna wait for “Chat Blance” and “Felix” to air first to have the whole 3 seasons list of abuse complete and I’m kinda short on time from tomorrow on) I sure as hell started actually writing down the types of abuse done by Gabriel to Adrien seen in the show. Cuz im lying sick in bed so why the hell not, its for important education reasons. Cuz the amount of people in this fandom believing Adrien isnt being abused just because Gabriel doesn’t marsh into Adriens room to punch his son in the face every 2 scenes, is actually quite concerning.  

The list is not complete yet its just what I could remember today without rewatching 50+ episodes but still I may say that I still got a very large and diverse amount (cuz the abuse in the Agreste family is one of my favorite aspects of Miraculous).

I sorely focused on Gabriel for now. Meaning:

The abusive actions Gabriel has shown to have done and used against Adrien JUST AS GABRIEL

Then Gabriel as a person. His personality, tone, bodylanguage and choice of words when being with Adrien.

Then the harmful/abusive actions against/affecting Adrien Gabriel does AS HAWKMOTH or for his plans.

Every point isnt every incident Gabriel whenever Gabriel did something because sometimes things happen twice. Every point is another factor or type of abuse that brings in another layer.

(Ill also put them here in photo form because putting it all in here will get too much)

Sadly I couldn’t dive into how these types of abuse affect and cause Adriens behaviour in the show because that is just too much for one day. Adrien is too well written. Maybe one day I’ll find the time to really make some essay posts including all sides but for now

Let me show you my “Gabriel abuse” notes

Page 1:

Page 2 (with a little continuation from page 1 in the beginning):

and page 3 (the continuation of point 3)

Its frankly a fuck tone and im not even anywhere close to done. This entire abusive and toxic father-son power imbalance is so incredibly well written and often downright brutal when you think about it. But I’m just impressed that this show is for one ALLOWED to do this and two ABLE to portray this so phenomenally. Cuz this is abuse. This happens in real life to abused children. Take out the magic part of the show and you have a real life scenario.

And I freaking LOVE it!

But you know what I’ll love even more once we are there (and it is already build up and forshadowed like crazy)?

Adrien getting the fuck out of this nightmare of a house and getting adopted by the Dupain-Changs! Cuz for as much as I like Gabriel as a character and villain, I want to see this bitch burn and pay for his actions. Let him face the consequences and loose the son he abused, controlled, manipulated and neglected and abandoned this entire time.

I cant wait to see Adrien turn against his Father after finding out he’s Hawkmoth and step by step twisting out of the grasp of our toxic main villain until one day hes finally free and in a wonderful and loving family he can truly bloom in.

Yes. Its gonna get ugly. Its gonna get unfair. And its definitely gonna get more and more intense between these two. Its realistic just like it always has been and I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way.

Give me a real abuse Survivor children can look up to, because by God in heaven, there are children out there who need it! And Miraculous is doing a fantastic job with both Adrien and Chloe even if most of the fandom cant see it yet. Later, when we truly have the big picture these two will be unique characters of redemption and survival. But until then? Until they are out of their toxic situations and environments? Its gonna be ugly, rough, painful but bloody real and understandable

Because children/kids and, fuck, young ADULTS like me need ugly and bloody real and not some characters who have our backstory but still always happen to be oh so brave, so unafraid of the consequences of disobeying or rebellion and OH SO suspiciously unproblematic even though that’s complete unrelatable bullshit

Miraculous keeps this shit real, with real consequences, real behaviours and real and not rushed solutions

Thank you Miraculous (and She Ra), I would have needed you in my childhood

Thank fucking you

[taeslovehandles]

Blood, Sweat and Tear - Begin

Yoongi walks down the hallway to greet his newest subject. He opens the door and enters a green room with dimming yellow lights on each side of the square shaped room. In the middle sits a dark silhouette on a red chair covered with little golden figurines. The man is blindfolded and shackled.

“Welcome to my little hobby room Jimin. What a coincidence that we meet again after you ran away from me, isn’t it?”, Yoongi chuckles.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Warning] Content in Blood Sweat and Tears - Begin contains: violence, blood, insults, drug use.

No weight gain yet as this part will explain how things turned out the way they did as well as slowly pacing the story slowly into the shape I want it to go. Skip this part if you don’t like reading fluff only and character backstory. I won’t be mad <3

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                      Blood, Sweat and Tears - Begin

Dark. It was pitch black and Jimin was unable to see anything. He tried to open his eyes but there was something wrapped around his head, covering his eyes. A blindfold? Jimin tried to move his hands to remove whatever was covering his eyes without success.

“What in the-...!?”

Jimin tried a second time to move his hands which ended the same way, uneventful. Jimin knew both of his hands were shackled to something… maybe a chair? He couldn’t see what it was but it definitely started to make him feel uneasy. 

Who would blindfold and shackle someone, has he been kidnapped? Why?

“Hello? Anyone here?” - silence.

“Great, that’s just great. At least get this damn thing off of me, my entire face is itchy from it!”

Jimin tried again to somehow free his hands but the more he moved his hands the more the metal shackles rubbed on his soft skin which slowly started to hurt. That ultimately was the reason he has stopped trying. Someone definitely brought him here which means he had a purpose and that meant he just had to wait for this person to finally show up.

But did he really want to see his kidnapper? 

All Jimin could remember was a bright light and a hit in his stomach when he was leaving the shopping mall.

“Ack- shit, that hurts…”

Jimin slowly realized how much pain filled his stomach. That must have been a good punch to the gut… probably also what made him go blank.

He needed to get out of here and he would. It’s not the first time Jimin was in a dangerous situation, back in the days when he was still together with his ex he had a wild time. Lot’s of chaos and blood…

The room is completely silent until Jimin notices the faint sound of footsteps coming his way.

/ / • / /

It had been quite some time since Yoongi had seen Jimin. And he would never have thought THIS was the way they’d encounter each other again. Oh well, it was Yoongi's idea in the end and he was more than willing to fulfill his task to keep Jimin by his side forever.

He checks the surveillance camera that showed a dark silhouette sitting on a fancy, red chair covered in golden figurines. The only thing more beautiful than the chair was the person sitting on it. Park Jimin. Oh he loved Jimin from head to toe.

It’s still hard for Yoongi to accept that Jimin and him are no longer a couple. He truly believed the time they spent were great times, but apparently that was only the feelings Yoongi had.

Yoongi filled a syringe with a mysterious blue liquid, tapped with a finger on it and put it in his bag. He looked to the side and grabbed a white shake. While he was tugging the shake into his bag as well he slowly started to walk away from his desk. 

His room was big and fancy, golden figurines and expensive paintings covered the walls. In the back of the room you could hear piano playing from the speakers.

Yoongi opened the door and left his room to walk down the long hallway covered in doors on each side. Sometimes even Yoongi forgot which door led to which room.

After walking down the hallway which felt like minutes, Yoongi finally reached his location. He opened the door confidently and stepped inside the square shaped room. The walls were mint green and each wall had a small lamp with yellow light bulbs in them which made the room look even greener.

In the middle of the room sat his love. Park Jimin. Finally, finally he could see him again. The reunion Yoongi had been waiting on for so long.

/ / • / /

“Hey, hey you! Take this damn blindfold off. I want to see the face I need to spit on for doing this crap with me!” Jimin yelled.

Who had the audacity to kidnap him and let him sit on this stupid chair for hours. His back hurt, his hands hurt and the blindfold was so itchy it drove him crazy.

“It’s been a while my love.”

...my love? Jimin was shocked… the only person that called him that was one of his exes. And the voice he just heard sounded really familiar too. It can’t be!

“Yoongi? Yoongi is it you?”

“Correct.”

“Why in gods name did you kidnap me, are you out of your goddamn mind? If you wanted to whine to me again about giving us another chance you could have done so via text message or phone you know?”

“Oh you mean in the way that you’d just ignore me again and never write back?”

“Exactly my point. I don’t know whose idea this shit was but I can tell you right now if you don’t get me off this thing and let me go I’ll make your life a living hell!”

“Feisty today, are we?” Yoongi let out a really quiet giggle while continuing to move forward. He was standing behind Jimin’s chair, his hand reaching for Jiming's right shoulder. Jimin not expecting to be touched let out a small gasp.

“You are here because I want you to be here and we won’t be going anywhere for a long while. That’s all you need to know for now my love.”

“You do realize how mad shit crazy you sound, right? What the hell do you want from me? Is it money? A quickie? Do you want me to suck you off or what?”

“That sounds really tempting but I’ll have to decline for now. I might come back to your offer to a later date though. If you behave that is.” Yoongi's smile was straight up evil. He moved his hands up and down Jimin's shoulder. While he was moving around the chair he smelled Jimin's perfume. It was truly addicting.

Yoongi put one of his fingers on Jimin’s blindfold and pulled it from his head. The view was breathtaking.

A wild, feisty young man was staring up at him ready to jump him wouldn’t the shackles stop him from doing so. Jimin may be smaller than Yoongi but he for sure had strength. And Yoongi knew that. One more reason to get to the fun part of this show.

“I swear to god Yoongi, I said we are done. D. O. N. E., DONE. Are you seriously going to force me to sit in a chair forever just so you can be with me? Did you hit your head or what?”

“Oh no I won’t force you to sit in this chair forever. I’m not a monster Jimin. Let’s just say you won’t be able to leave one way or another.”

“Then let me go.”

“I said I’d not let you sit in the chair forever I never said I’d let you leave dear.” Yoongi kissed Jimin on his forehead and ruffled through his light grey hair.

Jimin tried to get as far away from his hand as he could but the chair was yet again in his way. Why in the world was Yoongi going to such extremes… and what did he mean with him not being able to leave from here one way or another? He swallowed.  

Yoongi held Jimins face with one of his hands. Jimin tried to move his head away from Yoongis hand and looked to the side. 

“Look at me.”

Jimin kept looking to the side without moving his head. He was interrupted with a forceful hand yanking his head forward.

“OUCH! Shit Yoongi wtf that hurts!”

“You look at me when I tell you to.”

“Motherf-” was all Jimin could say before he was slapped across his face. Pain. Jimin never felt so much pain from being slapped. Maybe it was because he got backhanded and after taking a closer look at Yoongis hands he noticed a ring on the hand he was slapped with as well. 

“From now on we will keep insults and rude behaviour to a minimum. Am I clear Mr.Park. One more time and I will give you a reason to cuss.”

Jimins eyes were wide open for a split second until he noticed and returned to his stare again. Not only his stomach hurt now, his face pounding like hell too. At least his stomach pain started to slowly get less now that his body had a new area that was in pain to concentrate on.

Yoongi had never hit him before, that was definitely new… and his weird way of speaking. Was he having a nightmare? Was there a hidden camera somewhere and all of this was just a really bad joke? Please? It wasn’t. It was reality and the thought of that slowly started to scare Jimin. What was Yoongis plan?

Yoongi removed his hand from Jimins face, pulled a tissue from his pocket and tabbed on Jimin’s swollen and bleeding lip.

“Now that we set out the ground rules, how about we start the show?

What do you say love?”

“What show?”

“A special show with you in the main role of course!”

“What are you planning?” Jimin got more and more scared, he never felt this kind of anxiety. Especially with Yoongis weird behaviour. They’ve been a couple for 5 years back then. You’d think you know a person after such a long time. Apparently not.

While Jimin sank deeper down into his thoughts he didn’t notice how Yoongi walked past him to collect something from a table nearby.

/ / • / /

Yoongi was ready. He was more than ready to finally make his dream come true. Jimin never knew about this side of him and in the end him slowly trying to show who he really was, drove them apart.

Yoongi always loved chubby and big guys. Jimin however always worked out and kept his body in top condition. One day Jimin came home with tons of snacks in his hands. At the time him and Jimin were friends with benefits. Yoongi was there when Jimin needed him the most after his breakup with some asshole that told him he wasn’t his type anymore because he got too fat for him. The only reason Jimin worked out so hard was because of his now ex boyfriend. So Jimin sat back, grabbed the biggest bag of chips and started munching. Fuck him, fuck his ideals, fuck it all. I’m gonna eat what I want and no one can stop me, where Jimins thoughts out of rage.

But his guilt kept crawling back once he spotted his little chubby belly after having a look in the shower grabbing onto it. It was tough. Jimin hates how he looked not because he felt uncomfortable but because he was scared of what others thought about him when they saw him walking around. What Jimin cared most about was what people thought of him.

It took Yoongi a long time to make Jimin stop thinking like he had to prove complete strangers that he was something he didn’t want to be.

Months passed and slowly but surely Yoongi was able to convince Jimin that it’s okay to live your life how you want too. That no one was going to judge him for being a bit more on the chubby side as long as he felt comfortable.

They got close and started dating after 8 months. Yoongi never pushed Jimin and was always careful not to force his desires onto him but after 5 years he thought… he should at least tell him the truth.

A truth Jimin could not live with. Jiming accused Yoongi of feeding him on purpose, that he’d only encourage him to be bigger because Yoongi liked it. Jimin went so far as to question his ex. Jimin believed it was Yoongi that drove them apart and left him the next day.

But that was 5 years ago. It’s been so long since they saw each other and people change. There was no going back now, this was Yoongis decision and it would be his last.

/ / • / /

Jimins eyes were wide open now. Yoongi was holding a syringe in his hands with a weird blue liquor in it. What in the world was going on here? 

“W- What i-is that?”

“Something that will make you feel real good soon my love.”

“Are you drugging me!?”

“Of course not. It’s a special mixture that will help you to enhance greatly!”

“En-..Enhance? What do you mean?”

“What I said. You will see a side of yourself you’ve never see before and

you will learn to love it.”

With that Yoongi moved towards a screaming Jimin who was trying his best to get as far away from that syringe as he could. 

“No, No wait! I don’t want it. STOP I BEG YOU!”

Yoongi slowly pressed down and the blue liquid disappeared in Jimins neck. With a final smile Yoongi patted Jimins head who was shaking in pain and left the room. The door closed shut and Jimin was left in his own little room.

Let the show begin.

/ / • / /

“Ghhr, Ack-” were the only words Jimin could say. His mind went blank, his pupils widened and all of a sudden he felt a sharp pain inside of his mind. Jiming shut his eyes and screamed “AHHHHHHHH!” Fuck, Fuck it hurt so much. What in gods name did Yoongi give him. If it weren’t drugs what caused him so much pain. It couldn’t be poison right?

Jimin sure felt like dying right now though.

“Gahhh. Fuck. Make it stop!”

“Please!”

The pain in his head worsened. The slap on his face wasn’t even in the tiniest comparable to the pain he felt now. He gritted his teeth to help endure the pain.

…

“I beg you. Make it stop!”

It felt like hours, Jimin had no feeling of time but if he had to name it, it felt like days had passed when in reality it was only an hour. 

After an hour of Jimin feeling like he was going insane with the pain his headache slowly succumbed. His neck felt a bit stiff and his wrists hurt from all the movement while he was in constant pain. He licked his lip to check if he was still bleeding. Iron flavour started to take over in Jimins mouth and he realized that he was really thirsty.

He hasn’t had a drink for at least 12 hours now and his body was slowly but surely reminding him that it needed water in order to function properly.

Jimins eyes felt heavy, his blinking getting slower and taking longer until he finally passed out in his chair.

/ / • / /

Yoongi had watched the entire show through his monitor in his bedroom. While Jimin was screaming in agony and pain Yoongi did some business calls with clients and ate dinner at his desk to not miss a single part.

He noticed after an hour had passed that Jimin was moving slower and slower. The liquid must have finished its job. Yoongi took the now empty syringe out of his little bag and placed it on his desk. 

After 10 more minutes of Jimin struggling here and there he finally passed out. Which was Yoongis sign to go back into Jimins little room and organize a few things before he woke up again.

/ / • / /

Jimin slowly opened his eyes. The lights were way too bright for his still sleepy eyes and his eyelids closed shut again. It took him quite a while until he spotted all the new things around the room. A plate filled with some weird drops at least 3 six packs of Water Bottles or more on the table and a machine with a tube attached to it in the corner of the room that looked like nothing Jimin had ever seen before.

Before he could look around more a soft voice spoke to him.

“My poor baby. Did you have a pleasant sleep? You must be thirsty!”

“Wha- What did you inject me wi-with?” Jimin had trouble speaking. His mouth was as dry as a desert and his mind was cloudy.

“Oh my poor sweetheart. No need to speak so much. Here let me give you something to drink and ease your pain.”

Yoongi grabbed a bottle and poured half of it into a big cup while slowly walking over to Jimin who was more than eager to get his lips on that cup filled with fresh water.

While Yoondi walked over he dropped one of the drops inside the cup. The drop immediately disappeared and Yoongi held the cup against Jimins plump lips to suck on.

With eagerness Jimin drank from the cup and emptied it in a heartbeat. More. he needed more.

“M-More pl-please.”

“Alright.”

Yoongi walked back to the table but this time he did not grab a water bottle. Instead he pulled out a white shake from his bag and mixed it into the water. Was it milk? Who drinks milk with water? Now that Jimin thought about it… the water he just drank had a really weird taste to it.

 …

“What did you just g-give me to drink?”

“Mhm?”

“The water, w-was it water?”

“I said I’d give you something to drink, I never said I’d hand you water my dear.”

Yoongis smile got bigger.

“Sometimes it feels like you only hear what you want to hear Jimin. Ha ha.”

Jimins eyes widened once again, hastily looking around and trying to figure out what he just drank. He should have known better. Why was his mind so clouded, he couldn’t think straight.

Yoongi places the bottle with now white liquid on Jimins mouth…

-Splash

The white liquid spilled on the floor, Yoongis shoes and pants sprinkled with white spots. Yoongi tried to compose himself, his smile disappearing. Instead he stared at the spilled liquid and said in a cold tone

“You had to spoil the fun. Fine, if you want to do this the hard way I won’t hold you back. I was hoping to spare you for today but I guess you cannot wait to transform.”

What… What? Did Yoongi really just say what he said? What did he mean with transform? While Jimin was trying to figure out how to analyse Yoongi's words, Yoongi pushed the entire table towards the machine and started pouring bottles over  bottles of white liquid into the machine. He grabbed the plate of drops and threw the entire thing into the machine as well.

Yoongi meant what he said, he was intending to start easy but Jimin had to learn that there will only be consequences from now on if he misbehaved and he won’t like the consequences. Yoongi would get what he wanted, be it with Jimins will or without.

Yoongi pushed the on button and the machine started to quietly rummage away. He pulled the machine closer towards Jimin in order for the tube to reach later on.

/ / • / /

Jimin was terrified. What was this thing, what did Yoongi pour into it and what in gods name was he about to do. Yoongis ice cold stone face started to make him feel uneasy. That thing that was slowly moving towards Jimin looked like Yoongi for sure but it didn’t feel one but like the Yoongi he knew from back then. The Yoongi that always smiled, the one he had great times with. This thing was only wearing Yoongis face as a mask and it terrified Jimin.

Did he really not know who the real Yoongi was, was this the real Yoongi?

Because if it was, Jimin was not sure what this type of Yoongi was capable of doing. The footsteps got closer and closer until Yoongi was standing right in front of him with the tube in his hands.

“Shall we begin your transformation Park Jimin?”

To be continued.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading “Blood, Sweat and Tears - Begin”. I’ve never written anything like a story in my entire life, so bare with me if there are mistakes or anything that doesn’t quite make sense. 

I will make sure to improve over time and learn more <3

The “Blood, Sweat and Tears” storyline will continue with “Blood, Sweat and Tears - Temptation” to a later date. Basically whenever I find time to type it out. I have the entire story in my head however my fingers are slow typers lmao.

In “Blood, Sweat and Tears - Temptation” y'all are in for a treat. Be warned though, if you are not into extreme weight gain, the next part might not be for you in the later parts.

I purple you <3

[crossyourheartspreparetodie]

Mun! What’s your favorite plot point of D.GM?

Okay….okay….okay I’m gonna do it this time. I’m gonna answer this. Sorry it took for fucking ever but damn is this a loaded question because like…I just love so many plot points.I love seeing Kanda’s backstory in the whole Alma arc, like literally Hallow was beautiful. I think that’s mostly because we didn’t have FUCKING FILLER EVERYWHERE! Like okay, I’m usually chill with filler but holy God the original series had so much of it…although to be fair I wouldn’t have minded seeing more on Daisya, Krory, or Miranda. I know one thing for sure, I didn’t appreciate the Cross Marian filler episode where it showed him being a total, complete, asshole. That can go burn somewhere.But yeah back to favorite plot points…I think the Alma arc was all well and good, lots of shit that happened to all the characters and we got see Mr. Link express fucking emotion for once, that was great.My over all favorite plot point though had to be really anything to do with Cross from near the end of the original series onward (I know that’s broad and it’s not really me choosing a singular favorite, but fuck, this is difficult). Cross is such a mysterious person and I just love to see the softer side of him and the little bits and pieces that let’s the reader know he does care. I especially love the moment in Allen’s dreamscape where he maybe/maybe not hallucinated Cross and how we get to look through Cross’s eyes. We see him look at Allen as if he’s still a child (especially prevalent when Allen finds out about the 14th and Mana’s connection in the first episode of Hallow because we see a snippet of Cross seeing child Allen, shocked, and heartbroken over Mana’s death) and he makes this promise to him that he’d stay by his side until his inevitable death if he chose to let go and be swallowed by the 14th. Then Allen goes on about wanting to continue fighting, even if it is inevitable and we see Cross’s vision change. He sees Allen no longer as a child but a grown man ready to take on what life gives him.Not only was that part really beautifully done, but it just…it makes me feel so good to see what Cross is thinking. I mean, people usually call Cross trash or whatever (sometimes I do to but jokingly���but I also really want to stop that) which is super disheartening as someone who is an addiction studies major and psych major. We don’t know just how much shit Cross has been through. Granted, that doesn’t excuse his toxic behavior…but it does give us an understanding of how his mind works. People act and do crazy, sometimes stupid irrational things to protect themselves from pain. Cross is such a painful character and I pity him. I don’t think he’s this ‘dumbass, player who doesn’t give a fuck about taking advantage of people’. I think he once was, still is someone who is capable of a lot of empathy. However, that empathy can be whittled away into nothing the more people push you around and hurt you. Trauma can whittle away at empathy.I think his anti-social behavior is a reflection of him being burned out by everything. He’s someone who is pleasure-seeking constantly because he feels so awful inside. Someone who constantly feels like shit will always seek that high because that’s what makes them feel better and what makes life worth living. Yes, addicts are the ones who need to make the choice to stop. Yes, addicts are the one who choose to take that first hit. However, I can understand why Cross wouldn’t want to stop. Why stop when the world is going to hell in a hand basket, especially when you know why because you’re the one who is the closest to the truth? You have seen all the other DGM characters struggle with their own demons with the shit they’ve been through…what about Cross? The guy who is closest to the truth, the guy who hand a hand on both sides of the coin? I don’t blame him at all for drinking away his sorrows.So yeah, this is kinda turning into a massive Cross appreciation post but…ahhh…in conclusion any plot point dealing with Cross are my favorites. I love mystery characters. I love characters who either present themselves as ‘constantly happy’ or ‘constantly an asshole and moody’ because I know that there is more to them and that there should be more written about them. They look flat and meaningless on the surface, but they end up playing a bigger pivotal role to the over all story, more than we realize. Thanks for your ask.

[another-miracle]

Alright so I’ve been wanting to do this since forever but it’s Obiyuki week, and since I have nothing to show for it (oops), I’m going to make a post about some of the great Obiyuki content (and creators) this fandom has been so blessed with over the past few years. So here goes:

@sabraeal (check her out on AO3): Tbh, Jen’s writing is so very inspiring. I have never been more blessed to be a part of a fandom with someone as talented and down-to-earth as her. I feel like my writing has improved so much just from reading how she tells her stories. I remember I used to struggle a lot with story flow, and would get endlessly caught up in descriptors. Jen’s stories have shown me that you don’t have to stay there just to make your story pretty - you can use so many other things; dialogue, inner thoughts; to move your readers. So thank you Jen for your lovely fiction! Some of her stories that I love, love, love!!

Seven Suitors for Shirayuki: One of my first Obiyuki fics, and gosh I was completely blown away when I first read this. It’s like finding the ocean after years of puddle jumping (in the words of Sarah Kay) HAHA. Literally, I’ve never read such eloquent and lovingly-created fanfiction (and probably fiction) in my life. 

The Wide Florida Bay series: Let it never be said that modern AUs are cheesy. I remember being completely put off by the notion of having the characters I loved in a modern setting (because that’s not where the belonged!!) but Jen does it again with this modern AU that has me completely sold! This AU is so intricately crafted down to the last detail, I’m so in awe of how much it corresponds to canon. I also love love all the added elements to Obi (like his backstory (Bob and Gayle!!) and him joining in on the research as well!) Absolutely amazing!

Sensitive Negotiations: Ahhhh this is more of a guilty pleasure of mine because I’m a sucker for drunken confessions. Although not complete, it’s enough resolution to keep me happy hehe. I love how Jen has depicted how much Obi respects and loves his mistress, and protects her from the evil that is alcohol HAHA. ‘tis great and heartwarming and hilariously heart wrenching as well!

@bubblesthemonsterartist (check her out on AO3): JoannaaaAAAaaaaAAA (i.e. me screaming as I jump head first into her fics) Man, Joanna is so so so so good at writing angst and hurt/comfort. I absolutely adore that broken vulnerability that she portrays in her characters, and that strength that comes after healing. Her fics are some I always love to come back to when life gets hard and I need a good cry preceding a pick me up to move forward. Thank you Joanna!! Some special mentions:

Watchtower series: The second! fic I read as a virgin Obiyuki shipper (ew that sounds weird). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reread this series. There’s so much P A I N and it hurts so good. A very realistic continuation of canon that paints a background of how court life may be Too Much for plebeians like Shirayuki and Obi (haha) and a heartbreaking portrayal of broken relationships and betrayal between trusted ones. Gosh I’ve made it sound so depressing, but it actually turns out really great (all the newfound family feels!!!) Do check it out!

i am become death: this is just absolute poetry! It depicts one’s descent into madness, stopping short of losing oneself, and then finding meaning again. Brilliant imagery and a terribly chilling take on what-could-have-been a terrible Tanbarun arc if things went wrong. Superb!

I Should’ve Met You Yesterday: I fell completely in love with this AU. I mean put dad!Obi together with I-really-want-to-help-but-also-you’re-hot!Shirayuki (mostly dad!Obi tbh, haha) and you get a ridiculously adorable fic with a dash of pulling-at-your-heartstrings. So cute and so lovely. A must-read!

@ruleofexception (check her out on AO3): I feel like Beth (i hope I got your name right sobs - if not, I’m terribly sorry) was like a co-creator sister to me at one point. I remember this one time during one of the Obiyukiweeks (haha who am i kidding I only participated in the 2017 one), we ended up pretty invested in each other’s fics haha. Thank you for that wonderful dynamic - I really never experienced that in any fandom before :) 

Unwilling: Yup, this is the one I was talking about. I remember being so incredibly hyped up by it and wondering what would come next (it was when I went for an overseas conference too haha couldn’t concentrate oops) and being so happy that it was Obiyuki week and I would know what would happen the next day! I love love loved the descriptions used here, particularly the ones about the beast/monsters inside of Obi - just so beautiful!

Knowing You: this premise was so interesting and adorable. But also if I had a voice in my head, I would really think I was going crazy hahaha. But I love how this turned out in the end <3 (I know it’s not ended fully yet, but where it is now just makes me really happy hehe). I loved how Beth resolves tension and pieces together parts of the story into a very good resolution that makes you feel like reading her story was absolutely worth it (((:

Damned: Ah yes, the premise where I’m still squinting my eyes at and wondering what’s going on and WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN OMG THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME. An extremely poignant narrative of a post-apocalyptic world (set outside canon of course) that doesn’t feel overdone in the slightest! This fic triggers fear and joy in all the right places, and you really feel like that interactions between characters are so real. So good!

@infinitelystrangemachinex (check her out on AO3): By far the fic writer who has one of the best descriptors I’ve ever seen. The scene just falls into place with every word in a way that reminds me of an artist painting on a canvas with a magical paintbrush. You get immersed immediately. Amazing, amazing writing.

Fugue in Three: I remember describing this fic as something that tears my skin from bone, because of how excruciatingly painful (in a good way) it was to read about Ryuu calling Obi “Dad”. Whatever she wrote about how Obi reacted to that, I felt it too - gosh did I feel it too- that choking in the throat, that pounding in the heart to the brain, I FELT IT when I read this fic. So powerful and so poignant. Extremely humbled after reading this, and so inspired!

 Saint Elmo’s Fire: Another fic that throws you immediately into the scene and leaves you gasping for breath. The writing really puts you in the characters’ shoes and it’s as if you’re the one clawing for breath, or struggling to keep warm and gosh- if only I could write like this one day. 

The Automaton Heart: Something a bit more light-hearted and lovely. I love the slow descent into love between the two - so cute, yet so real. Another Modern AU that I love (that breaks my heart sobbles) love it hehe!

Ok definitely not done, but it’s late. I’ll do a part 2 when I have time!!! There are so many more!!!

[xxx-cat-xxx]

OC Concussion Fic

So, here’s that old whumpy emeto-ish thing I found somewhere in the depths of my laptop. It’s set in a Star Trek universe (because yes, I’m a nerd), but you don’t need to have seen any Star Trek to understand it.

All you gotta know is that there’s people from different species who live on spaceships and travel through the universe and sometimes they fight Romulans, and they are organised in a slightly military style (hence the ranks like “Captain” and the places like “bridge”), which I personally disapprove of, but whatever.

My main character is Naru, a starship Captain who lost her girlfriend a couple of years ago and blames herself for that. The only one who manages to put up with her personality is Kameer, her First Officer. There’s a whole backstory to these two, but it’s not important here because this fic is 99% plotless whump.

Naru came to with a moan. Her head was throbbing in rhythm with her heartbeat, a stabbing pain pulsating from the back of her skull right to her forehead and resonating through the rest of her body. She took a careful breath and felt her stomach climb up her throat as if it had only been waiting for the opportunity.

She swallowed down the nausea and forced herself to open her eyes. Around her was the sickbay, more crowded and chaotic than she’d ever seen it. Nurses and doctors were running to and fro frantically, crew members with injuries ranking from light to life-threatening sitting and lying on all available surfaces. Naru searched for a suitable memory to explain the disaster, but came up blank.

“What’s going on?” she croaked. When nobody replied, she repeated the question as loud as she could.

“Captain,” a a voice next to her spoke up. “Good to see you awake.”

It took her longer than she liked to admit before the signals from her eyes, ears and memory came together and she recognised Commander Zhing, sitting nonchalantly at the lower end of a cot on the other side of the aisle. He was pressing a bundle of bandages onto a deep cut on his forearm, but was otherwise looking healthy.

Naru groaned in spite of herself and hoped he would blame it on her injury, not his presence. Of all the people she’d want to wake up next to, Zhing was extremely far down on the list. Although an able scientist, he talked far too much for her taste, and, more problematically, mostly to the wrong people.

“What happened, Zing?” she asks brusquely.

“You don’t remember?” he replied, curiosity sparkling in his eyes.

“Would I ask you otherwise?”

“Well, we were attacked by Romulans -”

“I have to get to the bridge!” she exclaimed, sitting up abruptly. She was punished with a dizzy spell and a surge of pain in her head that had her stomach lurch dangerously. She could suddenly taste bile at the back of her mouth and had to grab the edge of the cot as not to topple over.

“That’s not a good idea, Captain. You have a head wound and a severe concussion, if I understood the doctors correctly. You should probably keep lying down.”

Only now Naru realised that there was a thick bandage wrapped around her head. She felt something warm trickle down her ear, and when she prodded at it, her fingers came away bloody.

“Who has the bridge?” she asked, ignoring his advice.

“Commander Akhtar, as far as I know, Captain.”

“Are we out of danger?”

Zhing stared at her disbelievingly for a moment. “You really don’t remember, do you?”

She gave him a glare that would hopefully make him realise the stupidity of his question.

“You got us to safety before you fainted, Captain,” he continued hastily. “Must have been an impressive move, if one can believe the rumours. Pulled off a reckless steering maneuver while covered in blood or something like that.”

He was grinning, visibly enjoying himself in the role of the story-teller, but Naru found the situation far from funny. The pain in her head was steadily increasing, as was the nausea, and sitting in a half-upright position was much more exhausting than it reasonably should have been. She swallowed thickly, certain now that she’d have to be sick sooner or later. But not in front of the crew.

“Why did nobody fix this yet?” she asked weakly, indicating her head.

“Probably because they don’t have enough scanners and staff. They have to treat the serious cases first.”

That made sense. As Captain, she could probably get on top of the waiting list with a simple order, but she wasn’t one to use her privileges for her personal advantage, especially not if other crew members were in danger. She swallowed again, closing her eyes.

When she opened them, the world was swaying like on an actual boat, and lights were dancing at the edge of her field of vision. Saliva was pooling in her mouth, her stomach rebelling at last.

“Captain, are you alright? You are looking quite pale.”

“I think I have to -” she didn’t get any further, clasping a hand to her lips in order to keep the bile down.

Luckily, Zhing understood and called a nurse, who took in the situation at a glance and pushed a bowl into Naru’s lap, just when she couldn’t hold it anymore. A gush of vomit spilled into the receptacle from in between her fingers.

She threw up forcefully, her whole body trembling. Every wave made her head hurt like it was being smashed by a hammer. She realised that someone was patting her arm, but she shook them off, angry at the world and at herself for getting into such a degrading situation. She felt like the whole crew was watching, although in the general chaos it was likely that nobody had even noticed her.

When she was finally done, she set the bowl away and shakily wiped her mouth. It seemed like the sickbay was being zoomed in and out of her vision. Her head felt infinitely heavy and seemed to be floating all the same. She swayed to and fro and would have fallen off the edge of the bed if a nurse hadn’t caught her by the shoulder.

“Stars, Captain, just lie down already,” he ordered while lowering her back onto the mattress. Naru didn’t have the strength to resist anymore.

“Get Kareem here once we’re out of danger,” she mumbled, then everything went black.

*

She woke up to a familiar voice.

“Why didn’t you treat her yet?”

“Commander, we only have four scanners on this ship, all of them are occupied by crew members with much more serious injuries - believe me, we are doing all we can  -”

“It’s okay,” Naru interrupted hoarsely while trying to sit up. The nurse and Kareem turned around on their heels, the angry expression on her First Officer’s face giving way to a softer one.

“Hey, you’re awake,” he assessed. Naru nodded and regretted it immediately. She didn’t feel any better than earlier, and on top of the splitting headache, the queasiness was already returning.

“How are you holding up?” Kareem inquired.

She just shrugged, trying to keep on a neutral expression despite the pain. From the other side of the aisle she could feel Zhing’s prying eyes on her.

“Can you draw the curtain?” she asked quietly.

Kareem pulled it close, leaving only a small gap at the footboard. A bit of tension fell away from her, and she allowed herself a groan when she slumped back into the pillows and closed her eyes. Naru knew that this situation wouldn’t help with the hundreds of rumours that were already circulating on the ship about the two of them, but at the moment she had other thing to worry about.

When she opened her eyes again, Kareem was sitting on a stool next to her bed, watching her patiently. That was what she respected about him - his composure and self-control, the way he could melt into the background of a room while still radiating a sense of calm and making everyone feel safer. He would never push her to talk about something she didn’t want to reveal.

“What happened, Kareem?” she asked. “I can’t remember a damn thing and honestly, it’s a crappy feeling.”

“We were attacked by three Romulan warbirds, Captain,” he explained. “They were heavily armed and vastly superior to us. The ship got severely damaged. The bridge was hit and you were injured by a piece of debris. It was looking like we would have to surrender, but then you took over the navigation and escaped with the Riker-B3-maneuver.”

There was a smile playing around the corner of his mouth when he continued. “Reckless, successful, but batshit crazy, I’d say. You were pretty out of it and refused to go to the sickbay, but after a few minutes you more or less collapsed.”

“Ugh.” She grimaced, aware that this story would be told among the crew for months to come.

“Do you remember anything?” Kareem asked.

Something was stirring in her mind, but it was all fuzzy and coated in pain. “Not really.”

“Any other memory gaps?”

“How would I know, smart-ass?”

“Your serial number?”

She rattled down the number, then answered a couple of standard questions from the concussion protocol, noting gratefully that Kareem skipped anything related to her personal history.

“See, there seems to be no further damage,” he assessed with a bit of relief.

“Hmm.” She was growing tired, the edges of her field of vision flickering. Nausea was sitting heavily in her throat and just waiting for her attention to waver.

“Drink a bit of water, Captain,” Kareem offered her a half-filled glass.

She shook her head, but he kept insisting until she gave in. She sat up arduously, pushing away his supporting arm, but accepted the pillow he put behind her back so that she could lean against the headboard.

Her hand was shaking when she took the glass of water. Two sips into it she realised that it wasn’t settling well, and pushed it back at Kareem.

“How much of my ship did they break?” she asked, mostly to distract herself.

Kareem delivered a brief damage report. She noted with relief that there were no casualties among the crew and saved the rest of it somewhere in her brain for later, unable to concentrate further.

She wondered how long it would take until the medics would be able to deal with her head. Every breath seemed to cause bile to rise higher in her throat. As much as she trusted Kareem, she didn’t want to show any weakness by throwing up in front of him as well.

„Captain.“

Naru looked up at him in confusion, realising that she must have missed a question.

“Hmm? I’m listening.”

He saw through her, of course, but all he remarked was “You’re looking pretty green around the gills.”

She opened her mouth for a sarcastic response, but all that came out was a gag.

Kareem quickly held the basin under her chin that someone had luckily left at the bedside. The few sips of water came up quickly, but she couldn’t stop retching for a long time, and then she was choking on her own saliva, unable to catch her breath.

She panted and coughed, each movement reverberating painfully in her skull, until Kareem grabbed her at the shoulders.

“Captain, that’s enough!“

When she had herself back under control, she could see worry in his eyes through the veil of grey clouding her vision.

“I’m okay,” she rasped, shakily wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Kareem was still holding her upright, and for the moment she was grateful for it, since the world had again started to sway dangerously in tact with the throbbing in her head. The taste in her mouth was disgusting enough that she was afraid she might be sick again.

“Are you feeling any better?” Kareem asked.

“Not really,” she admitted.

He handed her the water so that she could rinse her mouth and then disappeared to get rid of the now vomit-filled bowl. Naru leaned back against the headboard, her whole body trembling, and wished that someone would come to cut off her head.

And that was the moment when the red alert started to sound.

If you actually read until here, that’s really cool, and I’d love to hear some feedback. I got another half-finished fic lying around somewhere in which Naru and Kareem get kidnapped and tortured - if anyone’s interested, I might finish it some day.

@toomuchtoread33 (because I have a taglist now woohoo)

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 38

*inhales*

It’s here. Pray for me.

(Also, this should be pretty obvious, but this is indeed a chapter with a sex scene, so there will be NSFW text so maybe skip this one if you don’t wanna read that kinda stuff)

And Aelin knew if she didn’t get the hell out of this city for an hour or two, she might very well explode again.

I’m out of witty remarks to make about Alien’s piss poor temper at this point. Can you believe hundreds of people died painful and brutal deaths last chapter and all SJM focuses on is Alien’s feefees?

Rolfe and Alien have “edgy” “thrilling” “banter” where they insult one another, blah blah blah, you’re not here for that.

Also Rolfe sold his soul for the map on his hands which resulted in his sister and mother dying. How many nameless characters are gonna be murdered by SJM’s hands to give her main characters something to angst over holy shit.

Aelin rasped, “No. I don’t know what happened. One minute it was us … then she came.” She rubbed at her chest, avoiding the touch of the golden chain against it. Her throat tightened as she took in that spot on [Rowan’s] own chest, right between his pectorals. Where her fist had been aimed.

FJDHFKJAHJDAS OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MALE EQUIVALENT OF SJM BRINGING TOO MUCH FOCUS ON HER FEMALE CHARACTERS BREASTS I AM ACTUALLY CHOKING AKDHFKHAFJKHD

“If I had killed you,” she hissed, but choked on the words, unable to finish the thought, the idea of it.

This book would be a lot better since it would mean less Aelin gushing and less Ratlin being hailed as the best relationship evah

“She enjoyed every rutting second of it. She wanted to see what my power might do, what she could do with my body, with the key.” [Aelin’s] flames burned hotter, shredding through her clothes until they were ash, until she was naked and clothed in only her own fire.

??? i ????? this is not a private beach???? youre a queen what if someone walked in on you naked im?????? im so confused why does she do this???

“How can you be so … fine with this?” Embers sprayed from [Aelin] like a swarm of fireflies.

FHSHJSD THIS FUCKING IMAGERY SJM YOU’RE KILLING ME

Rowan shucked off his boots, tossing them onto the dry sand behind him. “Because I’m the only one arrogant and insane enough to ask Mala Fire- Bringer to let me stay with the woman I love.” [Aelin’s] flames turned to pure gold at the words—at that word. But she said, “Perhaps you’re just the only one arrogant and insane enough to love me.”

Love it when Alien writes my snarks for me. Makes these chapter reviews a whole lot easier!

Aelin let [Rowan] pivot her in the surf and sand to face him fully, let him slide his mouth along her jaw, the curve of her cheekbone, the point of her Fae ear.“These,” he said, nibbling at her earlobe, “have been tempting me for months.”

Oh god here we go

Before we proceed, let’s have a little chat, shall we? SJM’s sex scenes? They fucking suck. This isn’t an erotica novel, therefore sex scenes serve to help us feel the connection between characters, no? I don’t mind sex scenes; I’ve read many before that made me emotional because if they’re well written, they demonstrate how much a couple loves each other.

But SJM fails so hard at sex scenes. Her sex scenes isn’t about the bond between the characters, it’s about her jerking off to fae peen. They’re so hilariously unsexy with the shitty writing and bizarre word choice, and since I don’t like any of her characters, why should I care? Her sex scenes are there solely to trick readers into thinking these books are hot and sexy. But its much easier to show you rather than explain, so.....*sigh* Here we go.

Rowan obliged her silent demand, pressing kisses and soft, growling nips to her throat. “I’ve never taken a woman on a beach,” he purred against her skin, sucking gently on the space between her neck and shoulder. “And look at that—we’re far from any sort of … collateral.”

Am i reading a bad fanfic? Tell me how the characters feel! If i want graphic descriptions of Rowboat fucking Alien, I’d look up fanfics on AO3. Tell me how they feel! Also Rowboat was literally insisting they shouldn’t fuck like animals out in the wilderness at the beginning of the book. Oh, how naive I was back then to the horrors I would endure...

Aelin remembered herself enough to say, “Someone might come looking for us.” Rowan huffed a laugh against her neck. “Something tells me,” he said, his breath skittering along her skin, “you might not mind if we were discovered. If someone saw how thoroughly I plan to worship you.”

JKDSKHDKADHKASJD YOU’RE JUST OKAY WITH SOMEONE POSSIBLY RUINING YOUR SEX BY WALKING BY. LIKE WTF WOULD YOU JUST CONTINUE FUCKING IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID WALK BY?? IS THAT WHAT YOU WOULD DO???

His lips crushed into hers, and he said onto her mouth, dropping words more precious than rubies and emeralds and sapphires into her heart, her soul, “I love you. There is no limit to what I can give to you, no time I need. Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you.”

God ok I take it back I don’t need to know how the characters feel. This is just too much. Pro tip, declaration of love are better kept simple and sweet, with all that big mushy stuff left unsaid. Also pro tip, try to find other ways of characters saying they love one another rather than just “I love you”, having them have their own special ways of expressing their loves just makes it more special and interesting to read and tugs on the heartstrings. Having them give huge speeches like this is just too much for me personally and doesn’t make their declarations of love feel special or meaningful

Aelin didn’t know when she started crying, when her body began shaking with the force of it. She had never said such words—to anyone.

Uh, yeah you have? She’s expressed similar love to Chaol in Crown of Midnight, calling him her home and whatnot. Pretty similar declarations of love.

Rowan pulled back, wiping away her tears with his thumbs, one after another. He said softly, barely audible over the crashing waves around them, “Fireheart.” She sniffed back tears. “Buzzard.”

Human brain: They’re disgusting and annoying characters I am not attached to their shitty abusive relationship in the slightest

Monkey brain: special couple nicknames,, pure and soft,,, favorite trope,,,

“You … are so beautiful.” She knew he didn’t just mean the skin and curves and bones. But Aelin still smiled, humming. “I know,” she said

I fucking hate Aelin’s vain ass

“Is it that different? With someone like me.” “I don’t know,” Rowan admitted. Again, his eyes slid along her body, as if he could see through skin to her burning heart beneath. “I’ve never been with… an equal. I’ve never allowed myself to be that unleashed.”

What the fuck?

This is Lyria, Rowan’s former mate. She was a Fae who was pregnant with Rowan’s child when she was killed, meaning she and Rowan had sex. How has Rowan not been with an ‘equal’ before?? Did SJM forget her own character’s backstory?

There’s more unsexy foreplay and Aelin takes off Rowan’s pants.

Rowan had been bred and honed for battle, and every inch of him was pure-blooded warrior.

Oh my god, I cannot wait to see how SJM skirts around actually using the word dick/penis//whatever

Oh, gods. Oh, burning, rutting gods. Rowan knew what he was doing; he really gods-damned did.

Just... this whole chunk. This is epic fantasy. Also ‘gods-damned’ is a dumb word idc what y’all say

Rowan growled his approval, her breast still in his mouth

JESUS ROWAN ARE YOU TRYING TO RIP OFF HER TITTY

A phantom touch, like the northern wind given form, flicked over her bare breast. Aelin burst into flames.

what the fuck I am sh o cke d

Magic foreplay?? This is the level we’re at, folks. Fucking magic foreplay. The same wind magic Rowan used to kill witches he is now using to feel up Aelin’s boobs. Holy shit.

A roaring wind full of ice and snow blasted around them.

I have several questions.

Rowan’s smile was nothing short of wicked as he pulled away to run a broad hand from her throat down to the juncture of her thighs.

lmfao wtf. SJM wants to have graphic sex scenes in her YA series but won’t actually use the correct words for genitalia? Like christ are you sticking to YA rules or not???

So Rowan did, sliding a finger into her as his tongue flicked that one spot, and oh, gods, she was going to explode into starfire—

I don’t think starfire is an actual word. Also I hate these two.

When Rowan was seated deep in her, trembling with restraint as he let her adjust, she lifted her burning hands to his face, wind and ice tumbling and roaring around them, dancing across the waves with ribbons of flame.

HAHAHA I AM DYING HOW IS NOBODY NOTICING ALL THIS FIRE AND ICE AND SHIT JUST EXPLODING ON THE BEACH

Seriously what does the magic add to this scene?? it’s so fucking weird! How are they somehow fucking but also concentrating on doing all this magic??? Like what the actual fuck it just makes no sense

And as his thrusts turned deeper, she dug in her fingers, dragging her nails across his back, claiming him, marking him. His hips slammed home at the blood she drew

WHAT THE FUCK  WHY ARE YOU DRAWING BLOOD?!?! THAT ISNT SEXY THATS AELIN LITERALLY SLICING UP ROWANS BACK WITH HER NAILS WHAT IS HAPPENING

Rowan’s magic went wild, though his mouth on her neck was so careful, even as his canines dragged along her skin.

How is he careful but also dragging his teeth across her neck you can’t have both

Rowan’s own release barreled through him at the sight of it [Aelin climaxing], and he groaned her name so that she remembered it at last, lightning joining wind and ice over the water.

LIGHTNING

L I G H T N I N G

EPIC FANTASY SERIES COMPARED TO THE LIKES OF LOTR AND WE HAVE A MAIN CHARACTER’S CLIMAX SUMMONING LIGHTNING I WANT OFF THIS CRAZY RIDE

Already, she wanted more, already she was calculating how long she’d have to wait. “You once told me that you don’t bite the females of other males.” Rowan stiffened a bit. But she went on coyly, “Does that mean ... you’ll bite your own female, then?”

Aelin has a biting kink confirmed. Listen, I don’t care what kinks people have as long as it’s kept in the bedroom and everyone involved can and has consented, but this is just gross because I despise these two characters and don’t want any more paragraphs about Rowan biting Aelin please spare me

Understanding flashed in those green eyes as he raised his head from her neck to study the spot where those canines had once pierced her skin.

Are you bullshitting me. Are you actually fucking kidding me.

Rowan assaulted Aelin and bit her on the neck, causing her to bleed.. and this is portrayed as sexy? As a romantic moment between them?? What the actual fuck SJM!!! If a guy you were arguing with bit you, you’d knee him in the balls and call the police because he is assaulting you!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING HOW IS THIS IN A NOVEL IM DJHAFJKHDJKAFHJK

I’m done and I want this chapter to be over. tl;dr Aelin wants to bite Rowan and this makes him so horny they immediately have sex again.

They moved together, undulating like the sea before them, and when Rowan roared her name again into the star-flecked black, Aelin hoped the gods themselves heard it and knew their days were now numbered.

You’re fucking like animals in the middle of a beach where anyone could see you. Stop trying to make it all ~epic~ and ~most important relationship ever~ like god fucking damnit this Ratty/Aelin ship is literally my worst nightmare. Fuck this book.

[sparda3g]

Tokyo Ghoul:re Chapter 173 Review

The grand finale has arrived. Well, at least that’s what I’m going by considering this has the last battle vibe written all over it. Not necessarily the final one since we got other pieces left to cover but considering how this is the end of :re, it only leaves a new part to explore. With that said since the very beginning, it all comes down to this faithful moment. If this is indeed the finale, it’s no wonder Ishida is going all out in an incredible fashion.

This chapter is mostly action-packed, though not without a few insights on the characters. Furuta’s past is shown briefly but it holds a lot of weights. It’s good to see Arima again albeit in a flashback, but there is a sign that the backstory behind Washuu and the Sunlit Garden could be explored deeper in the future. With V and Washuu’s reveal slowly coming out of the dark and a theory for the next part to be largely about  them, its chance increases.

The flashback helps to prepare the prowess of Furuta in terms of combat skills. While it’s not a secret that he’s really strong, Arima’s praise is a good insert to increase the expectation. One of the most interesting part is how Furuta was seen at the early day. According to Arima, he takes it after his mother, loved by others. Ironic considering how much he has fallen into abyss of insanity. Tsuneyoshi actually adored him, which is odd because didn’t Furuta interpret that he didn’t care for him? Was Furuta lying or as time passed, it became true by the end? Perhaps a flashback to the moment of Furuta and others killing him would shed a light.

What’s also interesting is how the metaphor line in the end of the flashback holds a significant value that practically reveal Furuta’s agenda. Not as a whole, but part of the motivation that drove him to this path. It reads that despite Furuta’s promises, his ceiling is set as in destination end, because he’s part of Washuu. Half-Human are destined to die young, so it’s no wonder Furuta fits perfect with V since they got the cure they wanted from Dragon. More importantly, Furuta most likely went out of his way to show that his limit is like many: the sky. It’s an intriguing single page that had me compelled and interested.

Once that is taken care of, the rest is action-packed brawl and it’s as intense as I was hoping for. It’s hard to cover the battle without resorting to a play-by-play commentary. Of course this is a review of a series’ chapter that fans would have read already, so you can see it for yourself. I can pinpoint on why it has been fantastic so far; possibly the best fight of the series to date.

One of the strong elements of it is how it reminisce to the old days of combat in which captures the emotions and thrills of two men going all in for the win. For example, when Furuta aimed for the neck to decapitate, Kaneki reacted with deep pain, clenching to embrace it. I always adore how the series captures the realistic expressions, describing how painful they’re in.

Not only that, but they also expressing their character very closely. Furuta portrays like a serial killer or The Joker as Kaneki portrays like the white knight. It also helps with the illustrations of their outlook. I like to think they are similar yet different on their path, when you consider the first page that evaluates the thought of their similarities. It’s the first time you’ll see Furuta more than just a goofy guy; he is hell-bent to kill him. Kaneki expresses more of culmination of everything he is, especially that scene which we will get to that.

Another strong element is the panel work. Each moment grasp your attention of their movement and slowly succumb to fear for what could happen next. The way how the last panel leading to the next page left me tensed, expecting the worst outcome; whether Kaneki takes the stab to the face or dodges the fatal blow. It goes back to how expressive they are, so the pain is believable, discarding the thought of tyrant taking anything without reaction.

Lastly, many of its panel has strong impacting feel to them, which also credited the artwork. When Kaneki takes out a sword from his Kagune, I marked out like a complete fanboy. It reminds me of the old days with Sasaki, so seeing this was a crowd pleaser. The mouth grabbing the sword was an awesome moment. The look of his face shows the psychotic side of him, which reinforces the idea of his being to be the embodiment of all himself. The strikes, the twists and turns, and the delivery are greatly impactful.

The choreograph is one of the best of the series so far, especially how those two is all about giving everything they got; no more holding back or joking around. It all comes down to their skills with no luck or power-up; all bets are off. I love the fact they mixed their combat of human and ghoul style, which brought the best of two worlds vibe. It’s also easy to follow, at least to me it was, so I can grasp the intensity at its finest.

It has a video game’s epic boss battle vibe to it. Furuta started off with his sword only; once he gets hurt, he steps into the next phase: sword and Kagune. His Kagune looks vicious as hell with those eyes. Ishida continues to do impressive work on capturing the horrifying display. Kaneki gets wrecked badly, but that biting scene shows how much energy he has left in the tank. Damn, that moment is seriously crazy. Only badass can obtain that ability.

The action does go to a halt by the end, only for Kaneki to deliver a really nice speech that perfectly describe his development. The standing pose in one panel oozes a sheer willpower; something he lacked a long time ago. It’s funny since it is something you would hear many times in other series; however, it’s because of his background that evaluated his words into a powerful one.

I like the fact he acknowledges all of his faults and how he has been nothing but a toy for Furuta, which is sadly true. I recalled Kaneki to be overly confident, hence his loss against Suzuya off-panel, so this is a great step-up. Admitting faults can make you a better fighter. His will to fight is genuine rather than coming off just saying it. I also recalled him believing that despite wanting to bring peace, he didn’t really mean it; like he has no intention to make it happen. This time, he really wants to do what he said because he has a sense of purpose. He wants to defeat Furuta and protect everyone, human and ghoul. No more being told by others, this is all him.

It’s wonderful to see him come this far. It’s a simple purpose, but the weight behind it made it a heavy one. The double page at the end is great; nothing but incredibly hype for the next. Kaneki is in that form, assumingly his new Kakuja, when he saved Urie and Saiko from the monsters. It’s like an angel or butterfly, however you like to see him as. All it matters is he is about to go all out and the end for Furuta is near.

The artwork is great. The choreograph is very solid and capture point of its impact is at a high point. The expressions of the two delivers the intensity and magnitude of the damage they received. The pacing is fluid with each moment is captivating with mixed combat with new tricks. As said before, the display of their Kagune at its best form look great.

This was a hell of a chapter. There were interesting moments such as displaying Furuta’s backstory and Kaneki’s newly form character after amount of developments. The action was top-notch with great visual. There were plenty of picture perfect moment that I would love to see it colored. It’s all around enticing and the cliffhanger promises for more intensity that is likely to be the end. It’s going to be a carnage.

[mandabear72]

I managed to catch the portion of the livestream where everyone talked about "Who killed Markiplier" and it left me with some thoughts that I'm just trying to get out or vent now that everything was explained properly:

For starters, I wanna apologize because I had previously criticized the series. With the way it ended, I originally thought it was rushed and not well thought through when in actuality, they'd thought about this for MONTHS, even had the basis of it sprouting a little after they did "A Date with Markiplier". I DEFINITELY underestimated how much planning went into everything and was surprised about the whole process. 

Another thing I found out is that a lot of things I didn't catch went over my head my head because they were influenced by or references to shit I don't watch or read (i.e. Stranger things, American Horror story, War Hammer). That probably made even more confusing to try and understand. Honestly, it's kinda aggravating when everyone else is able to catch up on shit quicker or when you're just not able to pick up on it at all.

The explanations and break down of everything DID answer a lot of questions I had and some things I'm glad weren't what I previously thought they were. Though I am still curious about what happened to Mark's body and if Wilford and Selene were still together (though probably not)......that and as of current age skits, what the fuck's up with Darkiplier 2.0 and Wilford now? Because I'm pretty sure they're still not copacetic with each other.

Does this change my opinion on the ending or the entire series as a whole? Somewhat, but not entirely. I still think the ending could've been better in some ways and I'm calling bullshit on Mark for not knowing how sad it was until the editing process (You helped WRITE the fucking thing, how could you NOT know how tragic and fucked up the end was? You weren't "out to lunch" while writing and discussing it with your gang). HOWEVER, I am looking at everything from a different lens now that things have been explained.

There’s never any one particular thing or person to blame for the clusterfuck. So many factors went into it. Those factors being: The cursed house, Mark, Wilford, and Selene; in the respective order.

While the ones mainly involved (Mark, Selene, Wilford, and Damien) all seem to share the common theme of "The road to hell is paved with good intentions"; be it Mark being heartbroken over Selene leaving him for his friend and setting up an ill-advised plan to get her back, Selene wanting to understand the house better, Damien for wanting to spare your character and wanting to help Selene, and Wilford wanting to stay for Selene and his friend, Damien, the one I think suffers the most out of it all is Damien. Still, it always brings me back to the origins of the characters that count (IMO) and makes me almost wanna rethink my decision to reject the canon.

If I look at Darkiplier 2.0 and break them down, I don't think I'm quite as opposed to them now as I used to be. On one side, Selene's curiosity (Seline, Celine, I STILL dunno how the fuck I should spell her name) leads her to the dark arts to try and understand the cursed house better. She was clearly in over her head with the unknown forces she was messing with and it got the best of her. I’m still not overly fond of her though. As Mark mentioned in the livestream, she’s very manipulative, ambitious to a fault (or rather on the darker side of ambition), and somehow is able to control the entire room upon immediate introduction without having been there before. She also views our character as expendable since we’re a stranger to her and because “the ends justify the means”. Not to mention the thing with Mark and Wilford, but I’ll touch up on that later.

On the other side though, Damien is genuinely good and benevolent. I’d like to think of him as the glue of the gang and perhaps the entire series. He wants to keep his friends together and is seemingly the only shred of humanity amongst the madness of everything else going on. He’s just confused and wants the best for everyone. He didn’t deserve to go through everything and I’d say the only weakness of his is his temper. But even that never truly comes from a place of malice. It just seems like it’s in response to the inconsiderate actions of others and if anything, he’s a victim of the shitty actions of his friends and his sister. He even goes as far to spare your character the pain they would’ve endured with him and Selene by knocking them out of their body later. Despite it being a betrayal (leaving them doomed) on his behalf since they’re forever trapped in the mirror and the cursed house itself, I see how he was trying to be thoughtful.

Wilford on the other hand...... I dunno what to make of him any more. I know what I said about him in this previous post, but even this is being brought into question. While he’s not the direct cause of everything that happened, he’s still very much in the thick of it with in causing a good chunk of bullshit with Selene. While others or maybe the story suggests he’s a good person, I.....really don’t think so and retract what I said about redemption in that post. Mainly because one of the major events happening was that he engaged in an affair with Mark’s wife and ran off with her. Of course, Selene willingly goes with him and she’s just as guilty (because you can’t steal someone away), but also even if one argues that he feels remorseful, I say no because he didn’t learn a god damn thing.Technically, he was back on his bullshit in “The Warfstache affair” because he did the same thing which ALSO entails murder (CLEARLY he has no problems in the dating department so, why can’t this fucker find a single lady that’s DTF and make HER see God instead of someone who’s already spoken for?). Not to mention that he also owed Mark a shit ton of money....for what, I dunno. I can see how he would see murder as a joke though after everything that happened. I just wish he’d realize not everyone stayed in that house or was part of the occult.

Considering the last post I made about WKM, I understand it might make me look like a hypocrite and yes, there’re a good amount of cognitive dissonance I feel towards Wilford considering I liked him as a bad guy before while he was doing some crazy shit identical to what he did here (So then why’s THIS the straw that breaks the camel’s back, Amanda?). But I’m genuinely confused about him. In general, both Darkiplier 2.0 are assholes in their own rights but I think this backstory of theirs changed the way I viewed both of them.......I think before I was just viewing them as characters and taking them at face value, which I was completely fine with. I knew they weren’t good characters as far as the moral compass is concerned, but I think the ending to WKM shattered that and it soured how I viewed them with their additional layers and baggage (And I GENUINELY wonder how different this would’ve been if they didn’t make it an origin like they originally planned). I felt like it wanted me to care about these two characters and honestly, I didn’t like that or my own person realization that Wilford wasn’t all that redeemable/good and Darkiplier 2.0 wasn’t completely evil while one half of them wasn’t good. 

The 2nd problem with that is I didn’t WANT care about the two characters after seeing such a backstory. In general, I don’t care about shitty people that are beyond the point of return and their actions (much like anyone else’s) are still theirs to be held accountable for; no matter how tragic their story is. I mean, if I can separate them, I can manage to care for Damien. But I think Selene should’ve just left well enough alone after everything that happened, I don’t feel sorry for her, and half of me is kinda glad Wilford is suffering with the guilt and hallucinations. He has no one to thank but himself and to some extent, Selene so, he can continue to live with it.

But mainly, characters and their shittiness aside, the ending offers no ounce of hope, no silver lining, no light, nothing. Everyone loses! You too, viewer, Good day!.....and then later on tries to attempt some form of happiness to pass off be it Wilford as a journalist (How the fuck did that happen anyway when he was a colonel? Jim twins found him fuckin’ around outside the house and brought him in?) or.....MAYBE Dark 2.0 trying to find someone to trap with them and use for god knows what as an option in “A Date with Markiplier” and helping other Iplier characters network a show of sorts. I know not everything is always light, but damn, the end’s just one, big, depressive suckfest with no joy and leaves you with a sense that they’ll never truly be happy until Dark 2.0 gets their revenge (and even that’s a stretch because Damien and Selene would potentially fight for possession of the new body once revenge is done) and Wilford......maybe dies, I guess? I dunno. But then again, does he even really deserve to be happy in the first place after everything he did? Either way, it’s not fit for anyone that has a soul.

Despite all of this and the ending, I’m not so sure about wanting to reject this canon...not that it really matters anyway....and the series itself, while being a lot to take in and process (because there were a lot of things that weren’t really easy to catch onto references/influence or no), I can appreciate the other aspect of the story as well as the production of it more. Mark said he was gonna eventually type down everything about this and put it up for us but eh......considering how his schedule runs, I’ll hold my breath on that one. For now though, at least there’s some amount of closure with the explanations finally given.

[sambart93]

Top 5 Stages of the Year

I cheated and split Stages and Musicals into two separate lists, and depending on what you class as a musical and as a stage, my list could be ‘invalid’.

1. Captain Tsubasa

This stage impressed me so much! I had no doubt it'd be good because stage has done really very transitioning sports anime to stage but this was more than I was expecting, which makes me so sad about how little audience it got! It was so much fun! Lots of comedy, lots of great themes like friendship and trying your hardest and supporting one another, I also (I've said many a time) love how they did the whole football moves combined with hiphop or acrobatics or something the boys themselves excelled in; it was so cool! I also loved the music and how they used the projection mapping. And you can see how well the boys get along and how much they supported each other in this. As well as how much they trained for this too! Just give me a DVD already! xD [Review Here]

2. Ikazuchi Ga Oka

Unfortunately I haven't put up my review for this yet but this was so damn good! I have some nostalgia towards ODD, ASSH and the actors who frequently work together in these stages. It always feels like I'm coming back home and it just fills me with such warmth when I see people like Oguri Ryo, Mundo, Hiroki-kun, Hiroya etc. all working together AGAIN but as completely different characters with completely different personalities and in a completely different world or story. They always do so amazing! While this is the second in the series I've seen (I watched another installment in this series; Tiida no Soukai, earlier this year) this one definitely stood out from the previous one. The story was much more deep and rich in history; I loved the different groups and who was sided with who and everything; I also really loved the characters more this time; the story and plot itself was much more interesting; and boy oh boy, did it hit me in the feels so much stronger! I literally weeped the last 30 minutes of the stage! The relationships between some characters and the 'almost dead but I'll keep on fighting' intense fight scene; also the damn TWIST almost right at the end of the stage had me going 'OH SHIT I WOULD NEVER HAVE SEEN THAT COMING!' was such a great surprise and was so badass and epic! Such a damn good play! And I cannot wait for the next installment of this series if they decide to continue on! It was so damn good! ODD and ASSH always have plays which are very heavily serious but always have those nice touches of comedy and this one was the same! Hiroki-Kun's comedy moment was so cute! And Kenya just completely won me over with! Seriously, after seeing him in this, I totally want him as like (TouMyu's) ManbaChan and/or the next Saito in HakuMyu or something! [Review Here - Coming Soon]

3. K: Missing Kings

I love K Stages... I absolutely love them and I loved this one too! I think it helped that I ended up watching it like three times so every time I could focus on someone knew or notice something different. While, it unfortunate what happened to Hide, I was totally loving what Moritoki did and how he performed! I was so into him!!! I was so impressed and happy with his performance! He was so worried and apologised and everything but he did great! Also, I really enjoyed Kenya in this! I ended up really liking Oosaki as the new Kuro and already forgotten how Ryo was as Shiro. Seriously Osaka could switch between nice Shiro and evil Shiro o flawlessly! I cannot wait to see how he does in the next one (I hope he continues into the next one!). And of course the beautiful Isobe Karin had a huge part to play this time and she did great and how she can change her voice when she's Anna in KStage is so great! Her scenes broke my heart and made me cry so much! I really, really loved this installment and I cannot wait for me!! OH! And Ueda's daily challenge with the skateboard was a lot of fun too! [Review Here]

4. Honoo no Mirage 4

Words cannot describe just how flawless, how amazing, how mentally draining, how heartbreaking, how absolutely awesome this stage is! I was super sad at first when we heard MakiChan wasn't returning but holy moly Hiramaki Jin was the best choice to do Naoe! He did absolutely amazing, out of this world acting, he does SUCH subtle changes in his body language and the way he speaks and his facial expressions that you can see and understand completely the internal battle Naoe is having! It was phenomenal! And Shosan and Jin's chemistry was amazing and ShoSan always just puts himself through the worst in this stage! It must've been just as mentally draining for him as it was for us watching and he did awesome! And how could I forget just how much I LOVED Miyagi Koudai in this!!! His character was so childish and adorable and cute and I love that he has possible supernatural powers that maybe he can develop next stage and I want him to continue in this too! The fans also have massive respect for the author, the books AND the stage which creates this amazing atmosphere! I could just gush over this all day! If you've never watched Honoo before, I highly recommend it! It's definitely difficult to get into - you might have to rewatch the first stage at least once and it might take until like stage 3 to get it - but it's so worth all the pain and the depth and the history and the relationships and the... just go watch it! [Review Here]

5. Amakuhainaize 2

This has such a special place in my heart for so many reasons <3 It was my first every Bancho... ever thing since I got into them and it did not disappoint. It was so much fun and I didn't stop laughing the entire time! This is an asbolutely ridiculous stage and has so many crazy elements; first crazy element is Gaku and those freakishly tight and small pink shorts! Then we had freaking YuuKun and that damn outfit and his oneesan-ness and how he falls for Gaku and by the end of it they're practically a couple! And lets not forget how freaking high and annoying Yuhei is as Biscotti!! Also Yojiro's character Amami just trying to deal with everyone's shit and no one will take him seriously! I also love how we got backstory for Domoto's character and I love how emo he is -- Domoto tries to be like that but he just isn't! I am praying, praying, praying for a 3rd installment and it seems like the boys are too! It's such a fun stage! Oh jesus, and how could we forget the border-line-racist-Bangladesih that NishiKen plays! He was absolutely amazing! This was also the first time after getting into Bancho and deciding that I liked Domoto and YuuKun, that I saw them in the flesh and acting on stage for the first time; luckily it solidified that I'd chosen my oshis correctly and I super loved their performances! YuuKun's first appearance had me laughing hard for a good 5 minutes. I cannot wait to get my hands on the DVD either! [Review here]

Some honourable mentions would definitely be Satomi Hakkenden, Soul Flower, and Marker Light Blue: Crimson!

[lightningflash55]

Thoughts Dump on Season 7 Episodes 10-13

Shall we do this little read more thing here cause this is going to get long? Probably. Def open for talking about them if you decide to read all the way through! I’m up for some good MLP discussion.

A Royal Problem

Can I just start by saying how much I LOVE that we got an episode that actually has more in depth on the Princesses? I’ve been aching for one for forever, and honestly it feels like we’ve gotten more Luna over time cause she’s the one who’s had bigger problems that she’s needed to sort out. 

CELESTIA THOUGH, you cannot tell me she’s the boring blob that being the princess she is demands her to be all the time. This is why I need moreeeee. Give me Celestia’s wild side PLEASE.

On that note, I love how good she is at covering it up compared to Luna. Issues? Don’t fret my little ponies, they are being solved and I assure you, everything is alright. She’s just so GOOD at her role in being the one that takes everything just to make everyone else’s lives easier and brighter. Dang Celestia, how do you do it. Also the personality contrast between she and Luna is still great and it also shows their age/experience difference. 

The Twilight music box was a good example of how wonderfully odd this show can be and how, after 7 seasons, it continues to catch me off guard. I LOVE IT.

CELESTIA MAKES PANCAKES FOR EVERYPONY IN THE MORNING. I DIED. She is far too good and I highly appreciate the fact that she enjoys cooking, especially such silly yet comforting things?? Lmao

Not that I didn’t see it coming (I mean duh, but it’s just been awhile), but also holy heck is she a morning person. This is definitely where I connect to Luna more, and I love her snark.

Both the Princesses are just too good tbh, they both try so hard and do so much good in their own ways. LIKE HOW CONCERNED LUNA WAS ABOUT THE FUNDRAISER EVEN THOUGH IT WASN’T HER USUAL DUTY. She tried and immediately failed and felt super bad about it. All because she can’t hold a smile sjflksdjfjhdfj

Was telling my sister the whole time that nobody would ever, ever be as bold as Starlight Glimmer and that’s why this episode worked, and so I was glad Luna said nearly the exact same thing at the end. Applause for Starlight tbh.

Daybreaker’s design tho. On a more personal note, I was admiring her snarly face the whole time cause it’s definitely the closest design i’ve seen in the show so far that would work for Kelpie shape-wise. Putting that note aside if I ever try to do canon style stuff with my OC’s!

Luna’s dream was legitimately creepy for a show that seems to tone stuff down so much. There are like, magic battles and villains and stuff, but rarely does something strike me as dark? Maybe it’s just me. 

THAT’S IT FOR THIS ONE, I probs give it a 9/10

Not Asking For Trouble 

I don’t want to get too into this one, but for quite awhile Pinkie’s characterization has bothered me. Compared to the first few seasons, it seems recently she’s been over the top to the point of making others upset, but not even in a silly Pinkie way. It almost came across as less annoying others, but using her silly personality as a cover to let her freely say mean things? I’m not sure what happened there, but it sorta rubbed me the wrong way and this was just a good example of Pinkie being Pinkie. 

She went with everything the Yaks said and tried to understand them and fix the issue without being too much of a bother to them! That’s the Pinkie I know! I was honestly waiting for disppointment and was relieved when it didn’t happen. 

Not sure if this is an unpopular opinion or a lot of people thought this too, but what can I say, some episodes just seem more consistent than others

7/10?

Discordant Harmony

I FLIPPIN LOVE DISCORD

HE’S SUCH A BABY AND A PROTECTIVE GRUMP, DEFINITELY THE UNCARING OUTSIDE MUSHY INSIDE CHARACTER THAT I LOVE 

HE’S SOOOOOO ODD IN THE BEST WAY 

I reminded my little sister of this 50 times during the episode. I just feel the need to emphasize how much I love my dumb noodle horse dragon at all times. 

I don’t specifically like or dislike Fluttercord but you gotta admit there’s some good cheesy content here. THEY’RE CUTE FRIENDS AAAAA

Sometimes I wonder what the inside of Discord’s head looks like if he appears that crazy on the outside. Just, his mind must work in a very different way lol

THE SINGING GINSENG IS CUTE I WANT 100

I still marvel that the Discord we first saw is so taken by Fluttershy in such a legitimate way, but I am starting to get it. I suppose that his thing was always just chaos and messing with others and not necessarily being evil, and that’s probably what got me. He iiiiis kind of an attention hog so honestly, making friends that allow him to be his chaotic self around them is probably a fair compromise. Still, sometimes.

Explain to me though why he needed to go to 5 different stores to get things he could’ve just conjured up himself. Smh he likes to make things difficult and it pains me!! Stop being such a drama queen, but also don’t xD

Did u see the part where he hyperventilated into the bag but his neck expanded instead. Okay top wacky cartoon humor LOL

“Do something chaotic Fluttershy” “Oh no, I tipped over that cup!” MY SISTER AND I HAD A GOOD LAUGH AT THAT FLUTTERS PLS

There was probably an even mix of me expressing my love for discord and shaking my head actually. They go together hand in hadn though, no?

Hmm this one was also probably 9/10

The Perfect Pear

WHAT CAN I EVEN SAY ABOUT THIS EPISODE 

IT JUST GOT ME GOOD

IT WAS NICE TO GET BACKSTORY ON APPLEJACK’S PARENTS AND EQUAL PARTS HAPPY AND SAD

I MEAN THEY DEF AREN’T AROUND ANYMORE, DON’T THINK THERE WS ANY OTHER WAY TO READ THE IMPLICATIONS 

SO MANY GOOD FEELS

Just story and writing wise though this episode was so well done. There are always the funny episodes and everyone has their own favorite for reasons or because of their favorite characters, but sometimes some are just GOOD. Like classics, or everybody’s favorite, the ones that continue to stick out from the 100+ episodes the show has.

I’m rewatching these as I type this out and you know an episode’s good when you finish it and rewatch and things make more sense the second time around. Like how Grand Pear comes across as just a nice old pony the first time you watch it and if you rewatch it you’re like “Ohhh that look and being nice specifically towards Apple Bloom wasn’t just a random kind gesture”

Applejack’s over-reacting to everything: “PEAR JAM??? IN MY KITCHEN??” *DRAMATIC GASP*

“The food smells great Applejack i’ll brb for dinner” You mean the pancakes that are scattered all over the floor???

“And her cutie mark was a preserved jar, but pear butter don’t look too different from apple butter, so you know...” LMAO (true??)

The “the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree” moments got me, THESE KIDS TAKE AFTER THEIR PARENTS IN THE BEST WAYS. The sibling bonding was adorable in this ep.

Also I have to note, Pear Butter with her little bit of sassiness and curly ginger hair gave me Puck Connolly vibes the whole episode, which is always a good thing

DAMN THESE APPLES THAT STRIKE ME RIGHT IN THE FEELS EVERY TIME ONE OF THEM GOES INTO SONG

Def the part that got me the hardest right there. Like trying not to tear up, even

Ship goals tbh

What happened to them though honestly

GAH THE ENDING’S GIVING ME FEELS AGAIN I’LL END HERE 

10/10 EASILY