#crabby talk

[thwipped]

well yeah.

[protectorcraft]

had an extremely isat-ass conversation with a few friends on discord. and then spent like the next hour and a half fighting to make these gifs

made with the isat gif maker site

transcript under cut (bc the gifs go fast despite my efforts)

Loop, smiling: What's a golfers favorite time? Nine iron 'o' clock!

Siffrin, exasperated: Sure.

Loop, subdued: Look, if you're stuck in a timeloop, there's no reason to take it out on me and me crabby jokes.

Loop, looking more serious: Maybe you were only put in a loop because you can't appreciate my humor!

Bonnie, laughing: The time curse girls are fightingggggg!

Siffrin, smiling tiredly: Maybe so, but have you considered you may have been put in the loop so your jokes would get better?

Loop, laughing smugly: You can't improve upon perfection!

Isabeau, looking content: Hey guys

Siffrin, glaring darkly: See, this is why we're both trapped in a timeloop.

Siffrin, cutting themself off with a smile: Hi Isa.

Loop, smiling: Hi Isa.

Isabeau: How's the loop going?

Loop, looking upset: Bad.

Siffrin, smiling grimly: Bad.

[mamawasatesttube]

personal facts about me: if i have to see one more post about clark seeing kon as a weapon rather than a person/clark treating kon poorly (WHERE. POINT TO WHERE) i will start biting people

[zenitsustherapist]

lazy comic thingy to show off the oc x canon ive been dreading to the the internet

@saffron0v0 because she wanted to be tagged :3

[tamagoneko]

just a friendly reminder that i do not like proshippers!! and i do not want you to interact with me or my art!

i haven't been as vocal here as i've been on twitter about that 💀💀💀

i personally am not anti ship however!! if you think that incest ( especially if theirs minors involved ) is cool or hot then unfollow/block me right the fuck now i don't give a fuck if it's fictional i think you're nasty and gross and i want nothing to do with you.

[muffinbeliever]

i love seeing period fics and liking them knowing i can come back to them when i start my period in a few days. it’s like storing nuts for winter

[vivaciousoceans]

“It’s just nice to see captain benson embrace normalcy for a change” she literally just said the Mac and cheese was good, wtf are you talking about stabler?

[fantasticalleigh]

thoughts on bridgerton season 3 part 2

MASSIVE spoilers ahead, i'm really annoyed so this is going to come out very salty!

TLDR: this season was largely a disappointment. part 1 is better than part 2.

-i've said it before and i'll say it again: this is an ensemble show that ultimately suffers for how large its cast is, how short each season is, how cheap netflix is, and how poor the writing is. the actors are great and do well with what they're given. the stories in and of themselves are largely compelling. but they need space and time to be told properly. eight episodes between 10+ characters is not enough.

-unhinged/in love colin from the books was sorely missed. the book is problematic yadda yadda but i prefer it at this point. instead for pretty much three out of four episodes in part two, he was just angry or sad and that was it. he felt so flat.

-i find it hilarious that debling just fucked off after rejecting penelope. he didn't even stick around to try and court cressida, who was clearly more than willing to take penelope's place?? he literally could have solved all her problems and that could have saved an incredible amount of screen time that should have gone to Colin/Penelope.

-i love the way they bridged portia and penelope's relationship. also to a lesser degree, her sisters. prudence not being so cunty anymore was nice but felt a little off, i think she needed more screentime with pen to show that she finally realizes what a bad sister she was and that she's genuinely sorry. one quick little comment "i was being honest" (or whatever it was) to me, didn't feel like enough. but i'm still glad they came around.

-violet/marcus and by extension, agatha. i'm glad violet and agatha finally had a heart to heart/ conversation that was about them and not the young people. when they affirmed that they were there for each other no matter what and used each other's given names? precious. i teared up. i love their friendship. (also don't come at me for what may have happened during Queen Charlotte bc i never finished it lol)

-the queen is probably my least favorite character. she used to have funny/kind moments but now it feels like she is just rude and dismissive and mean towards everyone. i can't even like her in a GirlBoss way because all we see from season to season is how other people manipulate her. Agatha manipulates her. Grimsby manipulates her. Lady Whistledown manipulates her. she was kind for francesca for a couple of days and then went sour when she realized francesca chose someone else. i get that she's jaded from season 2 but idk i don't enjoy her scenes at all anymore. she crashes the wedding breakfast to accuse the bridgertons, belittles the Mondriches ball at the start, complains/belittles all the debutants trying to impress her, doesn't care about the events being hosted in her honor. i loved her in seasons 1-2 but now she's just boring and one note.

-eloise finally admitted she was reckless/in the wrong about the Theo situation. that was nice. and she finally admitted befriending cressida was a poor choice. do i sense character growth at last?? but i'm still a little unhappy about how rudely she ditched Cressida once she and Penelope made up. Hey, this new friend of yours is distraught because of her shit home life and is about to be married off to some old, austere codger and you literally don't care? i genuinely felt so bad for cressida. she is a creature pushed into a corner lashing out for any way to escape and nobody (understandably, bc she makes bad choices) wants to help her. but eloise keeps saying that cress surprised her with how she was the only one to show her kindness when she was a social outcast and now the same is happening to Cressida and yet instead of repaying the favor, Eloise abandons her.

Eloise even goes so far to say that Cressida used her. Did she not also use Cressida? She admitted she befriended her to be petty towards Penelope. And she clearly stuck with Cressida out of boredom/reluctance to mingle with the other ladies their age because she found them beneath her. Eloise is still a hypocrite. I thought she'd taken a step forward but she's in the same place.

did cressida deserve help? not particularly considering the blackmail/fake identity, history of bullying. but does she also deserve to be married off like that and cut off like that by her asshole dad? also no.

with all that talk about running away i genuinely was rooting for C to run away, but i'm disappointed it didn't happen. i guess it makes sense within her character--she's always been a caged creature--i don't think running away ever came to mind, even if she didn't want to be shipped off to Wales with her aunt. she's strong but doesn't (yet) have the resolve/ferocity of someone like marina who was willing to run away with colin to elope in gretna green.

frankly i found cressida's story the most compelling in season 3 so far.

-benedict. if i have to watch ONE more sex scene for Ben i'm going to scream. wowwee, he had another threesome! and no more queerbaiting--he finally had sex with a man! <--that part is at least noteworthy for his character--but genuinely--i don't really care when his only storyline this season is that all he does is have sex. there are far more compelling stories needing attention right now and yet we get another freaking sex barrage with benedict. Colin and Penelope were robbed here and i don't think it's unreasonable to be annoyed that a B-tier ensemble character got more sexy time than them. and for what purpose? all we get out of ben's enlightenment is that it's ok to be gay and that he's not ready for serious commitment. which is fine and dandy except that that was already drilled into our heads since season 1. i feel like my time was wasted here because i already watched him do the same damn things over and over for THREE SEASONS by now.

AND FOR THAT MATTER:

if they really wanted to show any sense of growth for benedict they could have had him be brutally honest to Tilley and say something like:

"I'm having fun with our arrangement. I am open to seriously committing to someone someday...but I don't think you are that person."

what a world of a difference that would make, wouldn't it? it would show he's coming closer to being ready to meet Sophie but that he's still not quite ready to give up his old ways. i truly believe his season is next and frankly it wouldn't feel so insulting to watch his repetitive storyline if they had written better dialogue in that ONE scene.

(Jess + Shonda, I'm available any time if you want to talk.)

-T.S's You Belong with Me playing during a fucking wedding scene was a choice. All the options in the world and you pick a song about high school jealousy??? Babydoll I could pick five better options off my general playlist. across all three seasons, there's been so many bad cover choices imo.

-Coldplay's Yellow being Polin's song was an actual choice I will salute. Beautiful moment.

-the whole whistledown speech at the end where pen reveals herself was extremely flat to me and left me so bloody disappointed. someone brought this up on reddit and i agree so hard it hurts--why wasn't colin up there by her side? book colin would have VAULTED up over everyone just to be there with her and protect her. instead we get mopey Colin watching her from below. i need to rewatch it again but it felt like there was hardly any reaction from the ton to her speech. it felt like they shrugged their shoulders when she was finished and resumed the ball. my mouth was agape at that--you're telling me not one of the attendees would have rushed up and said "omg it was you??" "how did you do it?" "i can't believe it!" or something to that effect. the bridgertons already had that reaction so it would've been effective for literally anyone in the ton to show some amazement.

-ngl, i also feel quite cheated that Penelope was never celebrated in the way she deserved. yes, she got her wedding and the man she always wanted--but creating/maintaining the Whistledown enterprise is a huge accomplishment. individually there was praise from those closest to her but really there was such a huge element of shame and punishment surrounding it that really bothered me. yeah, she said some mean things but she did it because she was severely neglected/ostracized from her own community. there was no acknowledgment of that at all (that i can recall. once again i should do a rewatch but whatever) and that pains/angers me. not one person beside her mother took a moment to think or say, 'i treated you badly and caused you pain. i'm sorry.' instead they just focused on making penelope apologize again and again when she had only reacted from years of pain, which nobody even deigned to acknowledge.

wasn't there a moment in the book when she gets some applause after her revelation? am i misremembering? but in the show it was like nobody gave a fuck because ooh butterflies! which was...so stupid lol. bless you though, phillippa. penelope single-handedly contributed to the entertainment of the ton for years and exposed awful people even if she made fun of others. characters frequently and often complained if her issue was one day late and debated her true identity and so when she finally reveals herself there's no applause? no true reaction? were they all asleep? what the fuck? that scene was shocking at how badly executed it was. it was rushed and it showed.

-also, WHY choose to have Colin learn Penelope is Lady Whistledown in episode six? I hate this because it crams all the drama in the last two episodes and makes everything feel rushed and frantic. he should have found out in episode three or four and i'll die on that hill. for that matter, his refusal to understand that Whistledown was Penelope's life's work and greatest achievement/power was so annoying. In the book he came around to it pretty fast and yet here it dragged on for way too long. everyone wanted her to give Whistledown up until it benefited them.

-editing to add a huge gripe i have with post-production:

for the love of god, go easy on the filters. the artificial blues and yellows are killing me. in twilight, it was camp. it was great. it does not translate well here. also, have y'all noticed how HEAVILY they blur the backgrounds??? there was one scene with colin and penelope in the garden and every time the camera focuses on one of their faces from over the other's shoulder (they were both seated) the background is blurred heavily. it looks bad!!! stop doing that!!! the backgrounds lend to the vibe! it genuinely makes the show look like crap when i notice that happening. it makes them look like they're using the green screen filter on tik tok. STOP. IT.

(seriously, imagine Joe Wright's Pride and Prejudice, the scene where Elizabeth is on the rocky plains and or she and her aunt and uncle are sitting at the base of that enormous tree--all that gorgeous scenery, remember that? now slap the Bridgerton filter over it so it's all one massive ugly blur. does that mental image fill you with rage? GOOD.)

-i didn't cover this in the prev. post but in part 1, the whole runaway balloon scene was Not Good. Why a balloon? the danger that poses is not that great--why not a runaway horse? there was too much sense of danger to the actual threat posed by a freaking basket. also the way penelope acted in that scene felt very very out of character for her and i hate rewatching it, even if colin looks very dashing while holding the rope. ugh.

-polin's main sex scene was beautiful. i feel kind of disappointed that everything else we got was less than a minute long and not in a weird way. it just feels a fair amount of the promo we got from Nic and Luke was hinting at the sex scenes and yet we got very little in actuality. i keep seeing people talk about there being a minutes long montage of them and yet it got cut. but in season one we got a LOT (imo too many sex scenes between daphne and simon). there were too many side stories happening this season and i'm sure that contributed to that, but there is also a whisper in the back of my mind that tells me that maybe showrunners felt the need to overly pad this season with storylines because they either didn't feel like nicola and luke could carry it alone or because they didn't care.

-i'm really glad genevieve got more scenes here, especially with penelope. their friendship is really nice and it's sad/sweet that penelope chose to spend her last night before her wedding with her, because apparently her mother/sisters didn't plan anything for her.

-frencesca/john. i have no stake in this game since i haven't read their book yet, as i've mentioned before. they're cute together but i'm not invested. they should have gotten married way earlier imo because all the "we need to tip toe around the queen bc she hates us :( but we want to marry now" went on too long and got boring. the michaela thing doesn't bother me but i understand why fans are upset about it.

-polin felt like a side character in part 2. i feel like their scenes went by way too quickly and their screentime was so sparse to the point of legitimately becoming annoying. colin spent most of it mad and penelope spent most of it crying/trying to explain herself. they had hardly any truly happy moments together.

-kanthony was adorable.

-"i love you."

"...are you sure?"

dear reader, my heart split in two. they did a really really good job with showing penelope's self-doubt and low confidence thanks to years of neglect and ridicule and doubt from her mother. when colin stood up for her to her mother and she looked so shocked, my heart broke again for her. poor pen, i just wanted to hold her. when violet and hyacinth hugged penelope after colin announced their engagement i wanted to cry bc poor pen is so starving for positive affirmations/love that just those hugs where enough to overwhelm her.

-also lady danbury saying that she had suspected Pen was whistledown was amazing. i love that she acknowledged her and her love for the bridgertons....but i'm still really upset that they nixed her and penelope's friendship/mentorship that was in the books. she was busy with her own storyline what with violet and marcus and sure it still worked but that was a relationship i was so excited to see in the show...and they didn't even try adapting it except for like, three lines at the very end. >:( hello 911? we've been ROBBED.

(i keep editing this to add more but this is another gripe i have that will not let me rest:

ALSO ALSO ALSO:

i've noticed over seasons 1-2 that the main romantic couple has one dance set to the bridgerton theme song.

in season one, daphne and simon dance to the theme song in episode 2 or 3 (the one where daphne says "and we must try to look like we enjoy each other's company" and simon replies stiffly but then they giggle and laugh all through it which was so cute

in season two, kate and anthony dance to it in the second to last episode where they're dancing with the rest of the bridgertons and lady danbury at the ball they threw that nobody came to. the subtitles say it's a country rendition (whatever that means) of the theme song but they are involved in the dance so it counts.

when i noticed this i thought it was such a cute touch and was anxiously waiting for Penelope and Colin to get their moment.

...instead benedict dances to the bridgerton theme song with Lady Tilley? who he clearly isn't going to end up with? wtf?? and it doesn't even work in the context of the scene because it's a wholesome tune and yet she's dancing like she wants to eat him alive? sigh.

i'm just an old man yelling at clouds now but i wish the writing in this show was better so badly because it meets expectations but it's so frustrating because it can be so much better. let the show breathe! thin out the cast. really pick and choose who gets airtime, because it's precious and you anger your viewers when you waste it.

i will rewatch the season in full at some other point, but i'm too annoyed now. there is much more i want to talk about but this is long enough for now. i will say that at this point i'm not even sure i want to continue watching beyond this season.

(the playlist thing really got me thinking so to prove my point:)

FIVE SONGS THAT ARE A BETTER CHOICE FOR POLIN'S WEDDING DANCE THAN A FUCKING T.S SONG:

-a world alone-lorde (the lyrics are perfect even if they wouldn't be used in an orchestral version)

-little of your love-haim ( perfect choice for the scene imo bc it's very happy and upbeat for a cute wedding dance bit)

-all this and heaven too-florence and the machine

or fuck, if you wanted to make it into a really emotional rather than joyous moment go with dog days are over and it would be a banger with the proper editing bc that song is universal and punches up the emotions any times it's used.

-burning-maggie rogers

-save a kiss--jessie ware

ORRRRR to make it a lil steamy:

-adore you--jessie ware (this would also be perfect ngl)

and i'm not even biased to any of these, i literally just scrolled down my general playlist on spotify and picked them based on the vibes.

[ridiasfangirlings]

Saruhiko’s daughter playing dress up with him.

Imagine Fushimi just standing there with dead fish eyes as his daughter uses him as a living fashion mannequin XD He can’t say no to her obviously, because he’s always hyper-aware of Ways I Could Possibly Screw Up My Kid, so if she wants him to dress up and have a tea party then that is what they are doing. Fushimi doesn’t care much for the frilly dress but he’ll wear it if that’s what his daughter wants (though imagine even when he’s playing dress up he’s still got all these knives on under his clothes, and where most kids would have stuffed animals as the party guests Fushimi’s kid has a few of his knives that she’s named and propped up in small chairs). Imagine he even ends up hesitantly asking Kusanagi if Anna has any dresses she’s grown out of, because his kid is always staring at Anna like she just saw a princess but Fushimi doesn’t really know where people go to buy those kinds of clothes. Kusanagi is pretty amused when Fushimi asks though and Anna herself probably gifts him a whole pile of cute dresses, some a bit too big for his daughter but just Fushimi’s size, all with this knowing smile.

Of course it has to happen that one day an emergency comes up while Fushimi’s on a day off with his daughter and he has to come help. Imagine he has his own apartment near S4 that he lives in with his daughter because the dorms are too cramped (and Munakata keeps showing up unannounced to bond) so no one has ever actually seen Fushimi dressed up. There’s a Strain taking hostages right by the apartment though and Munakata and Awashima are both away on some kind of important political summit. Akiyama assures Fushimi that they can handle it on their own if he’s busy but Fushimi doesn’t like this Strain being so close to where his daughter lives so he tells her he’ll be right back. The squad meanwhile are trying to hostage negotiate with the Strain when the Strain suddenly pitches forward, collapsing with knives pinning them to the ground. The squad are all relieved like it’s Fushimi-san, which is when Fushimi appears in a frilly dress, sun hat and heels, grumbling about how his tea party got interrupted and what a pain. 

[lucimiir]

Sean Kendrick and George Holly b-plot bromance of all time

[groovytimes]

The boiler man came over -again- to replace a faulty meter from last time. He remembers me from last year (I didn't) and he's perfectly nice. When I asked him if he could mount it on the wall, he said he couldn’t this time because his tools were somewhere else, and suggested my bedroom twice, and not another room, which there is. I said “nah” both times. He’ll have to come back for outdoor work anyways. I think I'm just flattering myself.

[arashi-no-saxlphone]

still remember the first time I came out to this little lagoon and I just sat down and wondered what the point of trying was anymore and I looked out at the water and by some small miracle I had made it at the exact perfect point in the day where the sun was directly above and it made the lagoon sparkle in a way that could not possibly be captured by photograph or painting and I sat there for the longest time staring at it and hoping that eventually one day the way I felt in that specific moment was going to be the way I felt as a default and that the emptiness was going to eventually be a rarity. That one day I would be made to feel like the water was sparkling for me. So every time I come out to the forest and sit at the lagoon I try to remember that. And also try to resist the urge to violently assault anyone who's LEAVING THEIR FUCKING TRASH OUT HERE I JUST PICKED THIS GARBAGE UP YESTERDAY

[microwavepopcorn]

[lovedeluxe92]

i’ve got my first ever annual visit in less than an hour! wish me luck!! 😭

[catdadeddie]

Asking for my show to play where I left off is simply asking too much.

[death-rebirth-senshi]

I feel like it was like this when Trump was debating Hillary too, like Trump would just say the most random stupid unhinged things and it would just be kind of glossed over. It just felt like so many news outlets were not really *digging into* Trump like he deserved to be, all while his followers naturally cried that the media was biased against him. It's really tiresome.