#cr2 for ts

[thought-42]

Fictober day 4: No, we're not doing that

Critical Role, 776 words, Laerryn, Essek

Technically part of the Modern au, but all you need to know is 'generic modern au, Laerryn and Essek are queerplatonic hubris soulmates'

‘Knowing how to cast Fireball means never having to give a presentation to idiots,’ Laerryn posts to twitter, holding the phone in one hand while she brushes her teeth under the harsh light of the hotel bathroom.

She’d tranced for a grand total of ninety minutes, zoned out sitting on her bed with her tablet and her data-crunching laptop piled on her legs. Her head aches bright and sharp, but the barrier of caffeine from the bitter coffee in the single-serve machine on the desk makes it weirdly distant, easy to ignore.

She spits, splashes her face with cold water. The mirror is still fogged over with the steam from the shower, leaving her a blurry, smudged blob when she straightens up, flicking water droplets off her hair.

Her phone starts buzzing while she’s doing her eyeliner.

Essek has responded to her tweet with a fire emoji. Quay has texted ‘we talked about the arson. We’re not doing that.’ The president of the university has sent her a blank email with the subject line ‘I WILL take away your funding’, which is rich given most of her funding is external government contracts.

She deletes the email, sends Quay a picture of her blurred image in the mirror with no context, and messages Essek ‘where are you I need better caffeine and also for you to review my slides’

He responds instantly, because he is the use case for ‘young people and their phones these days’. ‘I was on a call with Verin. At the beach so he would be jealous. I am walking back to the hotel now.’

‘I’ll meet you,’ she tells him, and starts shoving computers into her bag.

It’s not that she needs him to review her slides, really. She’s leaps and bounds ahead of him in ley line mapping, mostly because New Avalir has some of the most advanced tech in the world and Xhorhas… doesn’t, and also because one of them got distracted by almost committing treason and one of them almost killed her best friend and surprisingly it’s the almost treason that interferes more significantly with your professional aspirations. Mostly she’s just feeling the usual discomfort of being in an unfamiliar environment with a bunch of people she doesn’t know but who still expect her to act a certain way. She’s not Essek. She can’t bring herself to play out the standard conference scripts. It’s why, the first day they’d met three years ago, she’d chosen to get drunk and argue with him, an actual stranger, in her hotel room for sixteen hours instead of hosting the abjuration mixer she’d signed up for.

Patia is on a dig and couldn’t be bothered to teleport over to Tal’Dorei for this conference, and Caleb still doesn’t attend academic events for fear of his mysterious past that she has only managed to pry bits and pieces of from Essek. She hasn’t even seen Essek yet, because his flight had been cancelled and he didn’t arrive until a few hours ago. She’d spent the previous day taking scathing notes on presentations and standing near the walls of the lobby and the ballroom and the restaurant clutching a glass of expensive whisky and not making eye contact with anyone and desperately wishing she did not have to be a person.

She’d texted Quay, but he’d been at his own thing, a charity gala hosted by one of the three-fucking-hundred Majesters, and his responses had all clearly been typed out under the veil of a table cloth. Evandrin was at the same gala as Quay, which meant he had even less time to spend on his phone.

—

She walks down the cobbled path leading from the hotel to the seawall for a good five minutes, mentally cursing her impractical shoes and taking pictures of the sunrise over the harbour for Zerxus, before she sees Essek trudging towards her. He’s not floating, but he’s not using his crutches, either, and his progress is slow and shaky. It sets off tiny alarm bells in her head which she quashes ruthlessly. It’s none of her business how he chooses to get around, and when she gets closer she can see he’s smiling a real smile, soft and almost peaceful. Rosohna and Zadash are both pretty landlocked. Living on an island sometimes she forgets that for a lot of people the ocean is something special.

“Hi,” she says, once he’s close enough.

“It’s so good to see you,” he says, soft like it’s taken him by surprise.

He waits for her to hug him first. It feels like the first moment she’s been present in her body in three days.

[thought-42]

#laerryn is so young. i think about it all the goddamn time#she's so young and her world is so much older than her#she probably made these friends when they were like her age and they've gotten older and she hasn't#and she's smart. she can keep up because she's so smart but she's so young (via @humanbeanisnotamused​

It is actually so funny to me that Essek and Laerryn are not that far apart in age. I tend to think of Laerryn as older and Essek as younger, probably as a by-product of how they're positioned within their home cultures (even though that relates more to how aligned their views are with their culture's views, but that's for another post), but when they're on screen, they're both within the elven equivalent of early to mid-twenties.

Honestly, such a shame they will never meet each other. They would've been besties without a single doubt. Can you imagine the brunch gossip between those two?

[mareastrorum]

While checking for stuff about holidays, I found a note on the wiki that Campaign 2 started on Grissen.

And I'm wondering if I hate myself enough to plot out the exact days of the week for the rest of the timeline for potentially a single scene.

HMMMMMMMMMMM.

[orange1896]

YTR4105.410000 oil pump YTR4105.410000-51 SP113909 240100007607 W018100121

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推土铲总成 28210012431 LG933L轮胎式装载机-3311214G3903 4041002213 角钢 6239000056 软管20491-36-16TZ/20411-36-16TZ*FC686-16*1 14637850 主阀MX12 4110001100155 铲斗总成 29330103611 停用-工具盒 26120018301 E7150F标识包（轨道机） 29120024301 软管LGB165-012125 2060900190 手电钻DS18DFL 6320000125 液压油箱总成 29360017801 盖板 11213230 限滑差速器4061016070 4110001167177 等离子电极 泛洋60 28400000161 铲斗0.2 LG2933002454161 952贴花 28809002621 塑料袋 4120002573 COVER_GRP 4013000338 936耐磨板总成 11223509 马拉头 M086HW3A0M003 前车架 26290101411 前档板 11213986 钢管 14408526 支架 29010037451 电阻盒 29220012171 关节轴承GE60ES O2-2941000013 卡箍组件SDLG20-DG-04 29240101161 驾驶室总成系统 6900018745 方管30×30×3×1050 6220000468 GLASS LG8937003006 THRUST WASHER_0730.108.167 S=4 8 29361001411 直接头LGB120-01614*35 3611115G3903 斗杆油缸HSGK-170*115*1670-2335 29290046181 胶管F471TCCACF121206-750 11222885 O型圈 型号：P24-1B 4110001300106 PLATE (L=69.5, W=49) 28220003681 铲斗油封 26311000392 右桥板 21909007981 挡块73 520 042 9200001476 涡轮增压器 6214000539 柱塞 29030017151 针规0.75mm FΦ39大 停用-销轴LGB301-95*133*250G-40Cr（临时号，具��要求见JT 4130002672 LG936轮式装载机 11213467 接头 6410004684 动臂一联阀体 4110000036066 固定块 7300000149 后车架左侧板 L955F 14552533 斗杆油缸HSGK-175*115*1670-2335 6224000255 破碎锤机具LG16L D02C-140-30+B 2040900008 平面纱布轮 75mm小盖，120目，加厚 29420004101 中效过滤网（德州亚太YWKH40T） Read the full article

[ariadneclaire]

Top table is so in love with Jester they’re going to let her dress them.

[mareastrorum]

I have so much goddamn fun with this in my fanfic too, it's great.

Why Molly Succeeding On Stealth Checks Will Never Not Be Hilarious: a diagram by me

(like i know the boy has high dex)

(but goddamn)

(he is the least subtle person in the history of anything)

bonus, for that one time he thought a cloak would be an adequate disguise:

[theadelaide-parade]

i knew that motherfucker was going to be there as soon as matt started listing names. i could see in his eyes that he was saving A Huge Bastard for the end. he was enjoying keeping liam everyone in suspense. I Could Tell, Matthew

[multishipperlove]

Now that it’s winter again and it gets dark at fuck early o’clock I’m left wondering how everyone in Rosohna isn’t just depressed as fuck. At least show me some Goblins with vitamin C  deficiency or something

[thought-42]

WIP amnesty is a thing right?

Good morning tumblr would you like to see an excerpt from a modern au that I’m never going to finish so that I can officially remove it from my WIP list?

Of course you would.

Do not let the bit above the cut fool you, this is primarily Caleb having a very bad dissociative time

"Woah, woah, what the fuck are you doing," Beau says. Essek's eyebrow arches.

"Poisoning your drink so I can live one day in peace," he says, mildly.

"The fuck you are," Beau says. "Why the fuck are you putting cinnamon in your perfectly good wine?"

"Firstly, don't lie to yourself, we haven't seen perfectly good wine in literal years. Secondly, it was Jester's idea."

"Why are you taking Jester's drink suggestions, she's not even old enough to drink."

Jester frowns over at Beau. "I could drink if I wanted to, I just like my dignity intact."

Fjord chokes on his hot chocolate.

Essek snaps the lid on the cinnamon shut. "To be fair, you really couldn't. You are an actual infant." He says it with affection, but Jester still looks annoyed.

"Don't listen to him," she tells Caleb, squeezing his forearm with both hands. "He's just defensive because I showed him the meaning of friendship and also the meaning of being blatantly manipulated by older men from a foreign government when you're a teenager."

"You were so nice when I met you," Fjord says sadly.

"I'm 117," Essek says primly.

"And you look great for your age, buddy," Beau says, and Bren yanks his arm away from Jester because he really should have predicted that the casual banter was going to go this direction, he really should have been preparing the defective mess of misfiring neurons and screaming in his skull to cancel the lurch of jarring dissociative horror that is a hilariously disproportionate reaction to an entirely unremarkable comment.

He watches a stranger's reflection in the window.

Essek says, "Time is one of my specialties."

Frumpkin rests heavy on his shoulders.

The reflection in the glass fades.

Bren stretches out his hands and-- oh, that is the floor. The chair disappeared from his immediate vicinity, and object permanence is shaky at best.

A cork pops, somewhere behind him, and he only lights a tiny flame. Bren had always said healing potions tasted better than wine. Astrid said his tastes hadn't matured yet.

"Caleb," says Essek, and means the stranger in the window.

Bren had tried to grow a beard one winter until Wulf had pinned him down while Astrid shaved it off of him, all of them laughing because to be held down for a blade had many different connotations in those years. All of them good. He has not looked at his arms yet. He presses and presses on the skin but he does not bleed. He pushes and pushes but the magic comes sirup slow and lethargic.

Scar tissue can take up to a year to form fully, according to the glossy smooth tablet at the public library. A year isn't that long but his arms don't hurt. He rubs a hand across his a forearm but he doesn't feel anything. Caleb's forearm, Bren's hand.

He has not looked at his arms yet.

"Caleb," someone else says, and means 'eleven years'.

"Time is one of my specialties."

He presses his hands against the floor and breathes in, holds it, breathes out, because Caleb is someone who has memorized a list of grounding techniques for moments of dissociation or anxiety. In for four, hold for seven, out for three. The pattern is helpful.

Bren watches Caleb in the window until he can feel the swirls in the linoleum under his fingers and he can track the conversations happening around him through logical progressions for more than ten seconds. He has lost time. An hour and seventeen minutes, which is a fucking spike in the graph that he does not want to think too closely about. An hour and seventeen minutes can get you killed. An hour and seventeen minutes is long enough that at least one person of the additional four in this fucking flat must have tried to engage with him, and no one is shaking him or calling an ambulance and yelling in his face, so his autopilot must be getting better.

That's helpful.

Bren wants to tear his brain out through his eyeballs.

Essek sits down on the floor beside him. Sits down is a generous descriptor-- It's more of a controlled fall, sudden and graceless and lacking the fluidity of drunkenness. Given Caleb just stared at the wall for an hour and seventeen minutes, he supposes he is in no place to judge others' blatant weaknesses.

"Do you want to learn a spell?" Essek says.

"Always," says Caleb, and then "You mentioned Chronogy," which is approximately seven thousand percent more transparent than he ever wants to be in his entire life.

Essek laughs brightly. "Perhaps something a little simpler for your first, hmm?"

Bren wants to shove him down and hurt him or kiss him until he stops laughing. Bren has never had to struggle to learn anything and a Crik traitor is not going to be the first to challenge that. Caleb chuckles, self-effacing, and says "I am maybe a little over-eager, I admit, but it is not often I get the chance to learn from someone as skilled as yourself."

"I suspect you have your own skills," says Essek. "You cast like you've had formal instruction and you look for exits in a room the way my brother does after a bad campaign."

"Please stop," says Caleb, because he does not want to know that Essek has a brother who is important enough to him for his emotional wellbeing to be of note. More immediately, he does not want to know what he's unwittingly given away to Essek.

"My apologies," says Essek. "I will not pry. But please know that I have seen shame in those who choose to remove themselves from a battlefield by any means necessary. Warfare is a barbaric practice, mostly unsuited to mages of skill such as ourselves."

Bren bows his head and glances up at Essek through his eyelashes before looking away. Let him think Caleb a deserter warmage. Let him think Caleb a beggar, a veteran drowning his traumas in alcohol. Let him think Caleb anything but what he really is, which is a disappointment, a murderer, a proven flight risk, a naive child not nearly as smart as he thought he was. Sometimes he thinks about how he would kill Trent if he gets the chance, but it's never satisfying. Trent knows Bren can kill. He'd probably be fucking proud, just for that last archetypal mindfuck. Bren does not need to prove he can kill Trent-- Bren needs to prove he is smarter than Trent. He's either going to do that by publicly exposing his widely varied and horrific crimes to the entire world, along with the rotting apple that is the Cerberus Assembly, or he's going to invent time travel. Both would, obviously, be the ideal outcome, but Bren knows how to be realistic (see: pragmatism, newly developed skillset).

[bixbythemartian]

your tags on this #caleb: yeah uh. yeah he's an engineer. he works for exxon mobil but. maybe i can be a good influence#beau: caleb i don't care HOW good he fucks-#caleb: we're not even fucking.

so my thoughts on this-

Essek is a chemical engineer who's good at science communication, and ended up (through family pressure and blah blah) being a government lobbyist for Exxon Mobile. He still dabbles in chemical engineering, but it's entirely software based- simulations and things.

Caleb is a professor for agricultural engineering, with a focus on sustainability, soil management and rewilding and restoration- during his summers he focuses on projects that clean up land where oil has been extracted. Removing oil derricks, rehabilitating the land, etc. Diametrically opposed.

The building is fancy and beautiful and spacious and fashionable but has the worst maintenance imaginable, so Essek can't simply call them for help, because it'll be two weeks before they'll even come up to look at the thing, and in the meanwhile they'll turn his water off from downstairs entirely. (There's some high end residential skyscrapers in New York and DC that have notoriously bad maintenance, and this could take place in either location pretty easily).

The thing that he's about to get into trouble for is that he's been doing under the table engineering work for Halliburton (which focuses on fracking) who was trying to poach him for themselves, and is happy to take his work and leave him twisting in the wind.

And he does lose everything, I think- for a given value of 'everything'. The stakes are lower, because he's not going to be executed, and Essek does eventually lose his house etc so.

He's found out. He loses his lucrative job with the fancy DC/NYC apartment (or both!) and the nice car (all paid for by the company, of course). Part of his contract with Exxon was that any oil digging ideas he has are legal property of them, so he's also sued for copyright infringement or industrial espionage or whichever, and he ends up settling, but it wipes him out financially, and his career is in tatters.

can't stop thinking about a shadowgast "i'm not looking to fuck do you have a screwdriver my bathroom is flooding" grindr au

[spacefjords]

the sweets and bees and mischief crossover duo we deserve!!

[fjordish]

Last night was such a good episode, not only because we got to see everyone’s different perspectives come into play, but also because of the way they approached it. Everyone was being checked up on, even if it was just the small “are you good?” And because of that, despite how tense it was in the beginning, they can either compromise and find a middle ground, or come to accept the group’s decision.

Nott: Will go along with whatever the group chooses as long as there’s sound reasoning and her husband and child are safe.

Caleb: Wants the group to have an end goal or at least to always be moving towards achieving something. He always brings up the option of a compromise, as that is the quickest way to get everyone to agree on one route.

Caduceus: Ultimately wants what’s best for everyone, but pushes towards what he feels is the most beneficial path for them at the moment.

Beau: Will go with the group’s decision, but wants to make sure she has all the information first. She can be swayed by reasoning and in the end, she is willing to back up her friends, regardless.

Jester: Leans towards the more idealistic routes. She is willing to do what makes her friends happy and will choose the option that keeps the group safe and together.

Fjord: Will go along with whatever the majority wants and turns big decisions into group votes. He is willing to compromise, but still stands with his reasonings/decisions unless proved wrong.

[vecna]

Every week, I see more and more CritRole fans who’ve been around since campaign 1 just... bail from the fandom, over what a dumpster fire it’s become. A lot aren’t even watching the show anymore.

Shit’s depressing!!

[ryssabrin]

logically i know fjordie is avoiding any flirting and sexual advances bc of travis’s ‘no romance until level ten’ rule but there’s still a part of my brain chanting ‘ace fjord ace fjord ace fjord’ every time he awkwardly shuffles away from a blatant come on

[sandersstudies]

Me: *literally will not shut up about CK3, CIVVI, GBBS, CR2, or whatever else my current hyperfixation is*

Everyone who just followed me for TS content: ..... ?

[democanna]

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