#cousin kyman
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I think in post COVID it wouldve been funny if Cartman was married to Cousin Kyle. This would solve nothing but make Kyle's time worse
#south park#i think it would have been very funny :B#like i like yentl as much as you can like a character used as a bit#but i miss cousin kyle a bit#kyman
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Sorry in advance-
Shitpost
Redraw of this meme (idk who made it but its funny)
#south park#eric cartman#kyle schwartz#cousin kyle#sp cousin kyle#sp cartman#sp eric#sp eric cartman#sp kyle schwartz#shitpost#im sorry#kyman2#thats what im calling it#kyman shippers dni/fr#someone help#shit post#sup jew
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And cousin Kyle won with only two kills, Cartman and Kenny at the very end which seemed like a mercy kill at that point
can u like read minds??? I premade these Kyman comics and u just guessed who was going to be the villain in one 💀. Yeah but hunger gammes simulator with South Oark is stupidly funny
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I love how all it took was seeing Cartman getting assaulted and that’s when he tweaked and Jeresy’d out. Eh, but maybe I’m overthinking it and he was already about to, but near the end of the episode what the hell was that!? Everyone should know this scene, especially if you’re a fan of Kyman. For two people who say they hate each other with a fiery passion they sure are touchy with one another. And I mean, Kyle wasn’t even trying to stop it. I know damn well if the person I hated with every fiber of my being touched me like that, I’d damn push them away. But he didn’t, now this is me being delusional. But in the episode the entity, why are you even trying to walk him to the area that you want to be at Kyle? He can walk there on his own 🙄 Also when Kyle introduced Eric to his cousin Kyle, he said and I quote, “He’s my friend-ish.” Like, that’s still something if you hated someone why even say that??? I wouldn’t even introduce them to said person. In dear celebrities Kyle seemed more worried about Cartman not caring about his bloody shit more so than his baby brother being possessed by M.J. Literally, they weren’t even fighting this ep, just Kyle being concerned. Like I’ve been saying if you hated someone so much you wouldn’t be that concerned??
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Helloooo, so I'm writing a long kyman fic. It's gonna be a slow burn multi-chapter one. I got like a good 1/3 of it down with like a skeleton of events mapped out. Since I haven't been active in any fandom or like written fanfic since I was a teen, I wanted to post an excerpt to kinda test the waters a bit haha I'm kinda shy about sharing stuff but was greatly inspired by a lot of people's work.
Anyway, the premise is Cartman impulsively taking the fall on something and being admitted to inpatient cause of it. This excerpt is when he facetimes the gang to tell them about it. Stan and Kenny are at school during lunch, Kyle's at the hospital (has to do with what Cartman took the blame for), and Eric's at home about to leave.
I'd greatly appreciate any criticism or input! Thank u for ur time 💜💖 ^^)/
"Dude, a psych ward? That sounds pretty serious," Stan looks mildly concerned.
"It is serious, Stan. That's why Kyle's gonna owe me big time when I get back," Eric smuggly declares, "Like sucking my balls big big time."
Kenny sneakers at the brunette still obsessing over a bet they made years ago when they were just kids.
"Man, you gotta lay off the balls thing, Cartman. That's hella gay," Stan drily informs while munching on a fry.
"Hey! It's not gay! It's about humiliation and having power over an individual," Eric offendedly denies, choosing to die on that hill.
Kyle, who has been absolutely seething in the background, finally bursts, "Fuck you, Cartman! I didn't ask you to cover for me, you did that all on your own!"
Eric scoffs, "Okay, fine, Kahl, would you prefer me going to PC principal and telling him I take it all back. That he should take you off the team like he wanted? Is that what you want, Kahl?"
Kyle tenses his jaw muscles as he grinds his teeth. Of course that's not what he wants but is Cartman holding one over his head any better? His eyes flicker to the side as he contemplates for a brief moment. Stan continues eating, staring at his screen waiting for his best friend to speak as if he's watching an enthralling reality tv show. Once Kenny's giggling fit finally subsides, he lays his head on one outstretched arm and sneaks a French fry from whoever's lunch tray is right across from him.
"Fine," Kyle bitterly concedes with a sigh, "but I'm not helping you do anything illegal like murder or whatever. And I'm definitely not sucking your balls," he points at Cartman through the screen.
"Oh…" a small voice utters in surprise across the room from Kyle. The redhead looks up at a shocked nurse half way through the door. "I-I'll come back in a second to check your vitals," she embarrassedly scurries out of the room.
Kyle's mortified face soon matches his hair. "God, damn it, Cartman!"
Kenny practically dies of laughter, not even bothering to hold his phone up right anymore.
"Dude," Stan snorts before cracking up as well.
Kyle hides his face with one hand, trying with every fiber of his being to maintain any ounce of composure he can muster before combusting from rage.
Eric's amused smile warps into a shit eating grin, he absolutely could not be any more delighted by the current turn of events. He obnoxiously clears his throat before continuing, "Very well, I'll leave a legally binding contract in your room before departing, Kahl. Now Kenny," he seamlessly changes the topic.
Kenny straightens himself out the best he can. "Uh-huh?" He responds through tears.
"Wait a second, fatass, do NOT break into my room!" Kyle protests.
Eric purposely ignores his rival, knowing it'll anger him further. "Kenny, my mom says you can use your spare key to clear out my fridge whenever. She's gonna stay up in Denver with some cousin until I'm out. We don't want the food rotting up and stinking up the place so do it sooner rather than later, got it?"
"Seriously, dude?!" Kenny immediately straightens himself out in elated surprise. Woohoo!" He cheers. He knows their fridge is always packed so he and his little sister are definitely set for bit.
"Knock yourself out, dude, just don't let anything rot in there. Seriously, I'll kick your ass if I come back and my house reeks like spoiled ass."
"You got it, bro," Kenny assures with a thumbs up.
"Don't ignore me, asshole!" Kyle's demands only serve to further Cartman's amusement.
"Welp, gotta go pack up some essentials. Don't know how long I'll have to be admitted … but it's all worth it for my dear friend Kahl's sake," Eric fakes sincerity. With a hand over his heart, he winks at Kyle.
"Oh, Fuck off," Kyle rolls his eyes.
"Well, good luck, dude. Don't blow up the place trying to escape," Stan waves goodbye from his screen.
"Guys, wanna say bye to Cartman? He's gonna go do some time at a loony bin," Kenny asks, reversing his camera to show the rest of their lunch table.
"We heard. You guys are super loud," Craig complains before biting his burger.
"Hey! Don't call it a loony bin, asswipe! That's totally insensitive to people with mental health issues. Not cool dude," Cartman condescendingly lectures, doing what he does best, playing the victim.
"Cartman's getting admitted? Dude, that's crazy!" Tweek comments.
"Wait, who's getting what now?" Clyde looks up from his phone, unaware of the conversation going on around him.
"Cartman, dude, he got in trouble again so PC principal's sending him to a psych ward," Tweek rapidly explains.
"Oh," Clyde responds in his usual nasally tone.
"All in order to save Kyle from getting kicked off the team," Cartman adds.
"Don't act like you did it from the kindness of your heart, fatass!" Kyle quickly corrects.
"First it's Cartman, then they'll be coming for the rest of us!" The jittery blond panics.
Craig pats his boyfriend's shoulder. "No they won't, honey, we don't cause the town to blow up every other month like they do."
"Hey!" Kyle indignantly exclaims.
"We haven't been directly responsible for the town's destruction for like," Stan counts the time in his head, "at least a year now!" He defends himself and his friends, receiving a middle finger from an unimpressed Craig.
"L-l-later, Eric, don't dr-dro-dr-dro-drop the soap," Jimmy jokes before offering up his signature smile.
"Jim, that's for jail," Tolkien corrects.
"Aw, we'll miss you, Eric! Don't take too long in the psych ward!" Butters gleefully shouts.
Kyle rolls his eyes, feeling himself getting more and more irritated by the situation at hand. "Oh, for Pete's sake, it's not like he's dying, you guys." The longer these farewells are dragging on, the more he can feel a twinge of guilt spreading throughout his subconscious and twisting up his guts.
"Poopsikins, mommy can't find Mr. Kitty's carrier, do you remember where we left it?" Liane can be heard calling from the background.
"Just a second, meeem!" Eric hollers off camera before getting back in frame and sticking out his tongue with a peace sign, "Later, losers ~ " he sings-songs and hangs up.
"You know …. For someone being sent off to an insane asylum, he seems really unbothered by it," Tolkien points out.
Kyle's eyes flicker down for just a second before choosing to quickly dismiss further analyzing Cartman's reaction to being sent away. "Well, yeah, it's Cartman. Do you really expect him to react normally about anything?"
"That's true," Tolkien immediately agrees, chalking it up to Cartman just being Cartman.
For a brief moment, Kyle remembers the time he was admitted when the town wouldn't believe him about Mr. Hankey but before he can even decide on entertaining that thought, Stan speaks.
"Wow … so he's really leaving, huh?" Stan says more than asks, looking a bit absent minded.
"I guess so," Kenny pensively looks down at the lunch table, head resting on crossed arms. He turns to Stan and forlornly admits, "dude … I'm actually feeling kinda bummed out."
Kyle bites the inside of his cheek. The reality of their current predicament further sinking in.
"Aw, Ken," Stan frowns and pats Kenny's shoulder.
"It's okay, Ken," Butters comforts, patting Kenny's back, "he said so himself, he probably won't be there for long."
"Isn't this a good thing though? Things are going to be a lot more peaceful while he's gone," Tolkien suggests.
"If Cartman gets admitted for the rest of the school year, I'll be sooooo happy," Craig chants in a monotone.
A sniffle directs everyone's focus towards Clyde.
"Clyde, you okay, buddy?" Craig puts down his lunch to fully focus on his friend's concerns.
"We *sniff* were starting to *sniff* get along more *sniff* this year," he powers through a closing throat.
Kyle bites his cheek even harder. Cartman was certainly a lot tamer as of late. Things were finally getting comfortable between the two of them, too.
"He was being a lot c-coo-c-coo-cooler this y-year," Jimmy admits.
The nurse knocks before entering Kyle's room this time. "I'm going to take your vitals again, okay?" She smiles.
"Yeah, sure," Kyle replies before addressing his friends, "I gotta go guys. Stan, can you come pick up my keys and move my car before my parents get back? I have a minor concussion so I'm under observation for a bit."
"Yeah, dude, totally," Stan confirms.
"Later," Kenny mumbles, waving with one hand, his face fully immersed in his crossed arms.
"Alright, thanks, see you guys later," Kyle says his goodbyes, queuing the nurse to begin taking his blood pressure.
Kyle barely moves, too busy contemplating Eric's departure. First, Stan moves and now Cartman's going to be gone for God knows how long? He bitterly sighs.
#kyman#kyman fanfic#kyman fanfiction#eric x kyle#eric cartman x kyle broflovski#cartyle#south park kyman#drownedinthekiddiepool
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i don’t ship it at all but cousin kyman is just so fucking funny to me. i don’t ship it by any means but it’s genuinely kinda funny to me.
though i’m kinda confused about whether or not it’s a genuine ship or if it’s just a crack ship. To me it’s the latter.
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i <3 being cringe
so i made a sp oc
NOT BASED OFF ME AT ALLLLLLLL /sarc
name: ky
pronouns: he/they
personality: acts really serious and stoic (and emo tbh) around most people, but is actually pretty laidback and silly goofy around friends and stuff
trivia (idk??):
they are kyles first cousin once removed who happened to move to south park (bcuz im a kyle kinnie they're related :D)
their family moved to live w/ kyle cuz they were too poor for nyc lmao
VERY skeptical of cartman being kyles bf (kyman is canon in this au)
emo /j
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oh my god microceleb stepbros,,,,, clyde and cartman would no longer live together by the time of the au but like. fireside and c&tg beef being even more intense. clyde straight up pretends eric doesn't exist as a bit. someone doing research into the coloradoverse uncovers that Clyde and Eric are brothers and this changes nothing. deranged fireside girlies who dislike c&tg bc of the rivalry are upset but they'll live. clyde cameos in a kyman fic that cartman reads on fireside and the episode gets derailed from there. awful. awful. i love it
clyde from catg and cartman from fireside being stepbrothers is like ben shapiro and mara wilson being cousins
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POV: you're Kyle 2
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homie kyman is proship you’re cousins with the minor x adult shippers lol
No it's not ❤️
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Im prob the only person that ships COUSIN Kyle and cartman 💔💀
If anyone sees art pls show me
NO NSFW!!! THATS GROSS THEYRE KIDS WTF🤢
#south park#eric cartman#kyle schwartz#sp eric#sp cousin kyle#cousin kyle#help#kyman shippers dni/fr
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hii! i’m a south park comshipper too! :3 may i hear about your sp ships (if you want to share ofc i am not forcing!)
Omg yay. Another comshipper :D. I like Kenny x Kevin (it's my favorite). I don't know why I ship it so much, but it's so <333.
Theres nothing illegal or anything about the next ship btw. Its just Pike. The enemys to lovers trope is something i love so much its not even funny.
Next is probably as a lot of fellow Proshippers or comshippers ship,Stan x Randy. The way their relationship is sorta Rocky in cannon,and Stan is ever so slightly Randy's favorite,how they interact,everything Is just so shippable about them.
The next ship also has no like illegal stuff,it's just K2. Friends to lovers. The way Kyle cared a bit more then everyone else when Kenny died (Always sounding surprised and/or sad) they just make me happy.
Next is probably Pocket x Estella. Silly cousins in which case one refuses to admit they're cousins. Silly. They are just so silly.
Then Cartman x Kyle. No thoughts. Just Kyman. The way they're nicer to eachother in the later seasons drives me mad in a positive way. <3
Next is Tweek x Kenny,also nothing illegal or anything here. Just some sillies.
The next is Craig x Trisha. It's so <333 They are such silly little guys.
Then theres Henrietta x Bradley (her brother, not the other Bradley) THEY ARE SO CUTE. Words can not describe how much I love this.
Then Rebecca x Estella. Nothing illegal or anything. Just would be cute together.
Then Gregory x Christophe. Again nothing illegal or anything. Their personalities just mix so well and <333
Then Damien x Pip. I love non-human x humans (‼️NOT ANIMALS‼️X HUMANS, I LIKE FAIRYS AND HALF DRAGON HALF HUMAN,AND DEMONS AND STUFF X HUMANS)
Those r just my personal favorites but I'll ship almost anything. I love romance.
#south park rarepairs#proshipping#i am a proshipper#proshippers are valid#proshipper safe#proship positivity#sp standy#rebstella#sp pike#christophe ze mole#ze mole#proshippers please interact#proshipper#proship#i need proshipper friends#🍖🌈#🍟🐾#proshipper due to trauma#fiction dosent effect reality#fiction#fictional#south park ships#south park#south park kenjorine#kenjorine#gregstophe#Southpark#comshipper#comship#i need more comshipper friends
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not a style/kyman shipper in the slightest but i kinda wanna jump in on this.
people usually headcanon him to wear glasses because they want him to be a stereotypical nerd. honestly i’m on the fence about this headcanon. the only trason i headcanons him as having bad eyesight is because of his diabetes, and diabetes tends to mess with one’s eyesight (least from what i’ve seen; i have family members with it and it makes their eyesight wonky) but here’s the deal. i think he would favor contacts over glasses 100%. he would despise glasses because they remind him of his cousin and he doesn’t wanna seem like a stereotype. so he never wears them. even if he’s out of contacts he would rather suffer for the day than wear them.
i guess my headcanon is more so that kyle has bad eyesight because of his diabetes more so than ‘kyle wears glasses’. i don’t think he would wear them. just that he would need them but he wouldn’t actually wear them. does this make sense?
can style and kyman shippers please stop drawing kyle and only kyle with glasses when both cartman and stan have worn them in canon? why are y'all obsessed with kyle wearing glasses when he never has? he doesnt even wear them as a grown man.
.
#south park#kyle broflovski#i hate the twinkifying of him#and i also hate that the assumption is always ‘because he’s a nerd’ like i don’t headcanon it at all because he’s a nerd#simply because he’s diabetic and it makes sense#but yeah prev is right#stop making him a stereotypical nerd
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Sorry tumblr I forgot about you, have a slightly old piece I did for Kyman week because this is a hilarious dynamic
#kymanweek#sp kyman#kyle x cartman#kyman but with cousin Kyle#Cousin Kyle#Kyle Schwartz#eric cartman#kyle broflovski#kyman fanart
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Part 4 of chapter 1 for the Stag Prince. (End of chapter too, yay!) Plot written by @synapticfirefly; the art is mine. Also, please read comic in order! Yay! Finally chapter one is finished, I already finished a few pages for chapter 2. Honestly, today I've done so much comics, I'm surprised I haven't gone insane yet. Enjoy~
#south park#kyle broflovski#eric cartman#kyman#cartyle#liane cartman#gerald#kenny mccormick#leopold stotch#stan marsh#mr. garrison#mr. mackey#cousin kyle#and many others#alternate universe#stick of truth#based on fic#my art
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