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lilveeblog · 1 year ago

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nap?

little!jj x cg!elle cus it’s the cutest ever

“Wakey wakey little princess,” Elle whispered in her blonde baby’s ear, “It’s time to get up.” JJ whined and rolled away from Elle’s chest. Elle laughed and climbed out of bed, turned the big light on causing a loud groan from the bed.

“Maaaaa,” JJ cried out, flicking her legs as Elle just chuckled in response. This was the reaction she received every single morning. Elle laughed, ignoring the wails and entered the ensuite bathroom. She turned on the shower and then some music before stepping in, waiting for her blonde beauty to join her. A few minutes later, JJ dragged herself from the bed, blanket and teddy in her hand and shuffled into the bathroom.

“Come on, it’s not going to be warm forever,” Elle chuckled. JJ whined again, rubbing her eyes and dropped her things on the floor. She took off her t-shirt and let her soggy pull up drop to the floor too. Elle held her hand as she stepped into the shower and they got all cleaned up, ready for a day of work.

“JJ,” Elle laughed as JJ tried to climb back under the covers after her shower. She wasn’t even dry. “You’re getting the bed all wet you monkey. Get here,” Elle climbed onto the bed, straddling her little girl and JJ giggled loudly as Elle leaned over her.

“I tired,” JJ muttered, smirking up at her Ma.

“Yeah?” Elle laughed. “Well I’m tired of you getting my bed soaking wet. Get dressed,” she climbed off JJ.. JJ whined before sitting up.

“Maaaa,” she cried, reaching out to Elle who began getting dressed.

“Yes my princess?” Elle asked, knowing exactly what JJ wanted. The same thing she wanted every morning. JJ huffed and threw herself towards Elle, giggling loudly.

“Ma help,” she whispered, wrapping her arms and legs around Elle who was in the middle of getting dressed herself.

“I can’t help if you’re being a koala,” Elle chuckled, hugging JJ close to her regardless.

“Jus cuddwe quick,” JJ mumbled, snuggling into Elle.

Twenty minutes later, they were in the kitchen. JJ was sitting on the kitchen counter, her bunny in her hand and paci in her mouth as she swung her legs gently. Elle moved around the kitchen with haste.

“Ma ‘ou go f’y ‘ound like ‘abbit!” JJ giggled through her paci, throwing her bunny up in the air and catching it.

“Yeah because we’re running late,” Elle replied.

“Why Ma, no be ‘a’e,” JJ shrugged.

“Because,” Elle giggled, turning to her blonde princess. “Someone didn’t want to get dressed this morning!” She tickled JJ’s stomach causing JJ to curl over, giggling loudly.

“‘unnnny, dat so cheeky. ‘ou have ‘isten to ma when s’e tew ‘ou get d’ess!” JJ giggled, scolding her bunny. Elle laughed and carried on packing them both some food.

“Right, let’s go. Have you got everything?” Elle asked, picking up the car keys. JJ looked around the room, inspecting it and then nodded. “Good girl.” Elle took her hand but just as they stepped out the door JJ gasped.

“Ma! I need wee,” she whispered quietly, bending her legs. Elle laughed and opened the door for her.

“Go on then, be quick,” she told the young girl. JJ quickly ran through the house to the bathroom though Elle could see the door to the downstairs toilet from the front door. She just shook her head in disbelief. JJ was her absolute favourite. JJ ran back downstairs a few minutes later.

“Did you wash your hands missy?”

“Yes ma! See!” She waved her wet hands around and Elle laughed.

“Let’s go.”

“You know where I am if you need me,” Elle said softly to JJ in the elevator. JJ nodded and smiled up at her caregiver.

“Have a good day,” JJ whispered to Elle, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek.

“Good girl, you too.” Elle gave JJ a sneaky kiss on the lips before they exited the lift.

Lunch time came around and the day had been pretty slow for most of the team, however, JJ was suffering in silence in her office. She’d had multiple calls from different precincts this morning asking for help and her pile of cases that needed reviewing seemed so much larger than normal. She could feel herself get more and more overwhelmed by the minute. When an email came in from Hotch, asking to see her in his office she huffed loudly before throwing her head in her hands.

She grabbed some cases before heading out of her office. She didn’’t want to see anyone or speak to anyone, she wanted to get to Hotch’s office.

“Morning JJ, how was-” she charged straight past Spencer. He was the last person she wanted to see. Always buddying up to her Elle. Sitting next to her on the plane, making jokes with her, sharing glances with her Ma. Not his. Hers. Spencer was definitely not the one she wanted to see.

“Whoa,” Elle said, reached her hands out, noticing her blank Spencer. However, JJ walked straight past Elle too - jogging up the stairs.

“Is she okay?” Morgan asked, joining everyone’s concerned faces pointing in that direction.

Twenty minutes later, JJ emerged from Hotch’s office still with a face of thunder. She ignored everyone’s glances, especially Elle’s before heading back to her office with haste. Elle sighed, put down her file and headed after her. Her little girl was stressed and clearly upset and she wasn’t going to let her sit with that alone.

Elle entered JJ’s office and quietly shut the door behind her before heading around to her desk. JJ was curled up, under the desk, sobbing heavily into her knees.

“Oh princess,” Elle whispered, moving to sit besides her girl. “What’s going on, hm?” Elle moved closer to JJ and almost instantly, the young girl climbed into her Ma’s lap.

“So much,” JJ cried heavily into Elle’s neck, getting herself into her favourite koala position.

“Okay, take deep breaths. We’ll work through it sweetheart,” Elle reassured her girl, caressing her hair and beginning to rock them both. In her ma’s comforting arms, it didn’t take JJ long to calm down completely. Her breathing settled so much, she was in a sort of sleepy state.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elle asked softly.

“Busy,” JJ whimpered.

“You’re busy?”

“Mhm,” she whimpered and sat up, rubbing her eyes, “Too much ma.” Her eyes filled with tears again and Elle pouted, caressing JJ’s cheeks.

“No more tears now princess. Would you like Ma to help you sort it out?” JJ nodded and sighed, letting her shoulders slump. “Good girl. We’ll get this sorted and then we can head home early - okay?”

“And nap?”

Elle chuckled a little and nodded; JJ loved her naps. “We can nap. Let’s get it done first.”

They began getting to work on prirotising cases and sorting through files. It wasn’t long before the pair were done and JJ was resting her sleepy head on Elle’s shoulders.

“Let’s go say goodbye to the team and then I’ll take you home,” Elle whispered softly, taking JJ’s hand. JJ whimpered but got up anyway, to say goodbye.

Before they were even out of the car park, JJ was fast asleep in her special seat. It was like a car seat in the back of the car, to help support baby JJ. Elle could tell she was quite far in headspace so supported her accordingly. Elle drove around a little while, listening to her podcast while making sure JJ had a sufficient nap. Elle still had to get some work done at home but she assumed JJ would be good as gold, as usual. Though clingy, JJ was the best behaved for Elle. She was cheeky, she was sassy but in the best way. Elle loved her so much and seeing her now, in her mirror, her heart swelled with love for her little monkey.

#little!jj #criminal minds #criminal minds agere #jennifer jareau #jj #jj criminal minds #little space #elle greenaway #elle x jj #jj x elle #cg!elle #elle greenaway x jennifer jareau #jennifer jareau head canons

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bitchdafuqyousay · 6 months ago

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Bad Bread

Nikolaj stared at the vague imitation of a loaf of sourdough on his kitchen counter; his lips pressed into a thin line in a desperate attempt to keep himself from laughing at it.

"Niko, I'm gonna fucking die. Oh my God it's so ugly I'm genuinely ashamed of it. My hideous first born child," His guest, an enthusiastic but slightly hopeless bread baking tutee groaned pathetically, her upper half slumped onto the counter next to him with her face in her hands.

"It's... certainly an effort. So."

She made a distressed keen from behind her hands, a sound he imagined a slowly dying rodent might make, "Fuck this I'm sticking to desserts. The only bread I'll ever make is monkey. God."

That hardly counted as a type of bread in Nikolaj's opinion, but he digressed;

"Maybe not all is lost, Anna, the outside appearance is. Well. We can both see it in front of us but maybe-"

"Niko I swear to whatever higher being you believe in if you it's what's in the inside that counts me right now I'll throw a fuckin' tantrum."

"Frankly, I think you're already throwing one. A small one, but one nonetheless," He pulled a bread knife from his knife block (a recent birthday gift from the woman currently whining over his counter) and approached the almost bread adjacent lump to slice it.

Wow.

"It deflated."

Anna screeched something unintelligible and all but fell to the floor, crouching on his tiles. The crust had somehow completely separated from the actual bread, and was floating down pathetically onto the loaf like a sad, threadbare blanket. Nikolaj once again sucked his lips in to keep from wheezing out a laugh, his friend was having no such reservations however.

She'd gone from woeful humiliation to loud uninhibited squawks of laughter; stifled only by her hands that still hid her face, "Oh my god it's so bad!"

"Air bubbles happen," He was trying for encouraging, "It might be alright."

"Nikooooo-" She wheezed out through peels of laughter, "You know it's shit!"

"Not yet I don't." Despite his placating he was squinting suspiciously at the thing. Truth be told, he had zero inclinations or even a smidgen of faith that it would taste alright. He broke off a teeny piece from the slice he'd cut, steeling himself to try it.

His efforts to prepare himself were for naught, however, because Anna had sprung up whip-quick from her spot on his tiled floor and snatch the morsel from his fingers.

"No. No fucking way. I'll be damned if I let you try this. I'm humiliated as is and I'd sooner throw myself down this building's elevator shaft than let Nikolaj- premium baker savant perfectionist- Kato put this anywhere near his pretty mouth." She punctuated her (ridiculous) statement by tossing the bite of bread into her mouth and chewing quickly like there was a risk he'd take it back from her. He leaned back onto his counter, crossing his arms over his chest and watching the very impressive array of expressions cross her face.

"It's so bad. It is so goddamn bad," was the final review- delivered with a now deadpan face and rounded shoulders, "It's a good thing I brought my own ingredients instead of using yours like you offered. This is a total fucking waste. Of everything. Even air."

Nikolaj snorted and swiped a second small piece for himself, he wanted to know. He was desperately curious, ignoring Anna as she slowly shook her head no, tossing it into his mouth and cautiously chewing.

It really is true that curiosity killed the poor cat.

"Honestly, I'm impressed. It's texture in hand and on first bite is fine but somehow it turns to ash the second it comes into contact with saliva-" He wasn't able to suppress a huff of laughter this time "-it even tastes like ash. I imagine this is what'd it be like to scoop a handful of remains from the inside of a crematorium and try to eat it."

"Niko I am going to fucking kill myself right here in your kitchen."

She said it so dryly (as dry as the bread attempt he was currently spitting into his trash can) that he barked out a surprised laugh, nearly choking on what was left in his mouth. After a second or two she started laughing again, each exhale getting louder and louder.

"It was like trying the goddamn cinnamon challenge all over again!" She screeched and he started to laugh harder, remembering that stupid trend and how it'd gone for them when they tried it. He still had the video of it on his computer, two stupid high schoolers in atrocious 2010s fashion trying to swallow spoonfuls of spice and choking instantaneously- coughing reddish brown powder all over themselves and one another in her mother's kitchen. Her laugh increased in volume; interrupted by loud painful snorting as she tried to say something else. It came out more like the sound of a banshee choking and he had to lean on the counter to support himself as he choked on his own spit.

Her laugh had always taken him out, she'd start squawking and he'd bypass laughter and go straight to wheezing and tearing up. She flapped her hands, drawing his attention to the failed lump of bread on his counter- pointing and shrieking as it somehow deflated even further, the bottom flattening out like a punctured tire.

He guffawed (a very ugly sound, even to his own ears) at the pathetic thing and a sharp cackle bubbled out of Anna's chest at the sound. The high sharp, crack of her laughs merged with his diaphragm deep gasps and rumbly chuckles in the air of his kitchen and he briefly worried about his old as dirt neighbor rocking up to his door to bitch about the noise. He looked over at Anna as she leaned over onto the counter, grinning so big he thought her cheeks might tear as she tried to catch her breath.

Whatever. Fuck that old bag.

Nikolaj smiled back at her, not as big as her smile (no one could ever smile as big or bright as Anna did) but no less genuine or joyful, his own chest heaving as he clutched the counter corner for support.

"Niko, I'm telling you-" she straightened herself up "-I'm sticking to desserts." Her grin was still there, all teeth.

"Anna, I'm telling you," He pointed at the "bread" and smirked smugly at her, "I'm taking that thing to school tomorrow, and showing it to Ira."

"You will not show that to our meanest colleague!" She stomped her foot but her smile widened, no doubt imagining their friend's reaction to it. Ira would absolutely try it and the sharp witted woman would bring them all to their knees with the quips she'd make about it.

"Oh who knows. Maybe she'll like it! It might remind her of cigarette ash," He started and Anna let out a chuff of laughter, "You keep making that bread and bring it to her, and she'll be able to quit in no time. Wean her off with it."

"Ira'd beat you half to death with her office chair if she heard you say that!"

"I'll give her your attempt at bread, say it, then run out real quick to the infirmary so that way even if she does catch me I'll be able to get medical attention immediately."

"Wow, full proof plan. Incredible calculations." She turned to face the loaf completely, planting her hands on her hips and shaking her head, "Seriously though, the hell do we do with this? Put it out on the street, it's so bad I'm willing to chuck it to the birds. Leave my first born to the wilderness."

"Stop calling it that, also, what wilderness? This is a residential block, Anna. In a city. The wildest thing here is my neighbor."

"Oh yeah, for sure. That bitch bites I just know it. If that walking mummy gets too pissed about volume she'll snap and leave her dentures embedded in your arm. Septic bite type beat."

Nikolaj chuckled, "She'd pitch a fit if we chuck this outside, and truthfully, I don't even think the birds in this so-called wilderness will want this."

She rolled her eyes as he came to stand next to her, the both of them staring down at the halfway flat bread in amused silence. He nudged her with his hip to get her attention, "We'll try again next weekend."

She looked up at him and matched his smile, "Yeah. I'll bring my own shit again. Not using up your Grade A baking stuff to bring yet another ugly lump into this world."

#sometimes she writes #my writing #my ocs #oc writing #Annalie Reicht #who goes by Anna #Nikolaj Kato #who only lets Anna Ira n Gino call him Niko if anyone else tries you might get hit #real bunch of dumbasses. their students like them tho theyre good teachers

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comixconnection · 2 years ago

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Free Comic Book Day 2023

Here we are again folks, getting ready for the first Saturday in May with great books you can get your hands on FOR FREE!

The following titles will be available while supplies last! Everybody gets to pick THREE. Unlike previous years, we will NOT be accepting FOOD DONATIONS. We will however be collecting monetary donations to give to the Central Pennsylvania Food Bank if you feel inclined to donate.

We know the line for the FCBD comics can get long (if you want to come in and shop first, you can skip the line and head straight inside!) so in an effort to both entertain you while you’re in that long line and to help it go a little faster by giving you a preview of the various titles so you can decide ahead of time what looks good, the Comix Connection Counter Monkeys have read and reviewed all of the available FCBD books! Take a peek!

CHOOSE YOUR FREE COMICS:

Get set for adventure with stories from the farthest reaches of a galaxy far, far way, as well as the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender! In Star Wars: The High Republic Adventures the galaxywide conflict between the Jedi Order and the Nihil intensifies, and a shuttle full of younglings gets caught in the crossfire! In Avatar: The Last Airbender, Aang and his friends come across a village decimated by the Fire Nation. One survivor—a young child named Luumi—refuses to open up to anyone except fellow Earth Kingdom native Toph. BRAND NEW STORIES!

[all ages]

Ahead of the highly anticipated premiere of the new Netflix animated series, return to Sky Corps Academy in this exclusive reprint of the first issue of Mech Cadet Yu. It's the perfect time to revisit this iconic story by bestselling writer Greg Pak and fan-favorite artist Takeshi Miyazawa! And if you’ve never read it before, it’s a perfect time to get in on all the fun before Netflix introduces these giant robots and the kids being trained to guide them in their war against the alien threat to a whole new audience. Wait, what’s the janitor’s son doing here? He’s not a cadet...

[all ages]

Spidey, Ghost-Spider, and Miles will face off against Green Goblin, Doc Ock, and more in this spectacular special of BRAND NEW STORIES. Filled with easy-to-read comic stories based on the hit Disney Junior show, this book is perfect for the youngest readers aged 5-7. Young fans will even be able to test their wall-crawling skills with thrilling interactive activity pages! Kids will love this not-to-be-missed comic: the perfect primer for the newest generation of Spider-Fans!

[all ages]

Get a sneak-peek at the next graphic novel in this fun spin-off series of The Baby-sitters Club, featuring Kristy's little stepsister! Karen feels like an ugly duckling. She already has to wear glasses and now her baby teeth are falling out, too. Fortunately, she knows exactly what will make her look glamorous: a new haircut. But the beauty parlor lady cuts Karen's hair all wrong! Karen is devastated and worried about what the kids at school will say. Can Karen get back to feeling like her usual confident self?

[all ages]

Dog Man and the League of Misfits is a short comic featuring the beloved characters from Dav Pilkey's #1 worldwide bestselling Dog Man and Captain Underpants series! Filled with hilarity, hijinks, and heart, this supa-epic action-packed comic features fan favorite Petey the Cat before his transformative journey began. Celebrating 25 ½ years of laughs and inspiring kids to love reading, Dog Man and the League of Misfits is featured in the Captain Underpants 25 ½ Anniversary Edition, which released on March 8, 2023.

[all ages]

Preview not one but two upcoming original Middle Grade graphic novels from DC: Clark & Lex and Fann Club: The Batman Squad! In Clark & Lex, Being the only kid with powers is tough…not being able to use them is even worse! When LuthorCorp holds a competition to find the best and brightest for a summer internship in Metropolis, Clark has no problem using his X-ray vision to cheat his way in if it means getting out of Smallville. Amazingly, Clark is not the only competitor with special abilities…just ask his newfound friend, Lex Luthor! Then, in Fann Club: Ernest Fann idolizes Batman. It might not even be much of a stretch to say he wants to model his life after him. So, with no training or superpowers, young Ernest takes on the name of Gerbilwing and decides to set up a crime fighting unit consisting entirely of his immediate friends and his dog. But things get complicated when Ernest and his friends visit a bank that happens to be in the middle of a robbery being committed by a werewolf! Will The Batman Squad taste defeat on their very first day of crime-fighting?

[all ages]

Get ready for an exclusive sneak-peek into the all-new Sweet Valley Twins: Teacher's Pet! It's Elizabeth's turn in the spotlight... but does Jessica deserve it more? Jessica knows she's the better dancer — but their teacher only seems to have eyes for her sister, Elizabeth! No matter how hard or perfectly she dances she's not getting recognized — which becomes a huge problem when it becomes clear that her sister is going to get the main role of Swanilda instead of her. Even worse, Elizabeth refuses to believe that their teacher is favoring her! With Jessica's attitude rapidly souring and Elizabeth slowly realizing that Jessica might actually be right, will they be able to find a way to get Jessica her leading role? Preview the next graphic novel adaptation of Francine Pascal's beloved Sweet Valley Twins series with Claudia Aguirre offering her fresh and modern artwork just right for today's contemporary middle-grade graphic novel.

[all ages]

Pedro Martin is an American-born Mexican kid who's always felt not quite Mexican and not quite American. Now, he and his family are piling into their Winnebago to bring his mysterious, Mexican-Revolution-era Abuelito home to live with them. This preview introduces you to the graphic novel memoir which details Pedro's road trip of a lifetime, full of laughs and heartaches, and a new understanding of his abuelito and himself.

[all ages]

How did Jack Skellington become the Pumpkin King? Explore Jack and Oogie Boogie's early days in Halloween Town and learn how their infamous friendship turns sour as they battle to become the next Pumpkin King. Discover the mastermind who's pulling the strings and relive the fantastic world of The Nightmare Before Christmas in this preview of the all-new upcoming manga adaptation!

[all ages]

Get a sneak-peek at book seven in the bestselling InvestiGators series! When a cruise captain is found drifting at sea, super-sleuths Mango and Brash begin the search for his missing ship and passengers! Did it sink? Was it boat-napped? Are supernatural forces at play? And can the InvestiGators unravel this maritime mystery before a second cruise befalls a similarly unfathomable fate?

[all ages]

In 1987, the world at large was introduced to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by way of a catchy theme song and an action-packed cartoon, shell-shocking the world into an era of Turtlemania! Since then, the characters have appeared in countless comics, a multitude of animated series, and several motion pictures. Turn the nostalg-o-meter up to 11 this FCBD and revisit two fan favorite eras of TMNT animation in comic book form with this special presentation of stories from IDW's smash-hit Saturday Morning Adventures and the recent small-screen venture Rise of the TMNT!

[all ages]

Two stories in one! Read the gag-filled adventures of four goofy residents of the Animal Crossing: New Horizons characters! Then in Kirby Manga Mania, jump into dream land with Kirby and gobble up some fun! Everyone's favorite pink puff teams up with his friends to keep arch-frenemy King Dedede in line. Fans of all ages can enjoy this sampling of a classic Kirby comic; just take a deep breath and hop on in!

[all ages]

The Last Kids on Earth are creating THEIR OWN COMIC BOOK! From worldwide bestselling author Max Brallier comes a full-color graphic novel spin-off series based on the #1 New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling Last Kids on Earth! In this preview of the series opener, Jack Sullivan, Quint Baker, June del Toro, and Dirk Savage decide to carry on the legacy of their favorite comic book character by writing the next volume in the collection. What could go wrong? Just about everything!

[all ages]

The book follows Kotto, an average Puerto Rican (parrot!) who runs an empanadilla food truck. His daily life is always an adventure, thanks to his boisterous friends. Check out their BRAND NEW STORY here!

[all ages]

2023 marks the 65th Anniversary of the Smurfs! To celebrate their smurf-tastic anniversary, Papercutz continues to publish the hit graphic novel series THE SMURFS TALES. These stories are three times bigger than previous titles, and that means even more Smurf fun. In this preview, join Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Brainy Smurf, Hefty Smurf, and so many smurfy others for fun and adventure in the comics that inspired the cartoons, toys, Nickelodeon series and upcoming new movie.

[all ages]

The heavyweight champions of gross meet again in this all-ages title as we will pull the best stories from Madballs Vs. Garbage Pail Kids for this special FCBD comic that's sure to appeal to consumers age 5 to 50.

[all ages]

It's time to enroll in a bold new take on the Power Rangers mythology in this Free Comic Day Special! Class is in session for the start of an epic saga that is sure to delight longtime Rangers fans, and provide an excellent jumping on point for brand new readers. PREVIEW THE NEW STORY HERE!

[all ages]

The Wide Plains Fighting Tournament is finally here, and orphan Pitch will do whatever it takes to convince his idol—and possible father-fighter Sonny Han—to compete alongside him in this Free Comic Book Day sneak-peek of Zachary Sterling's upcoming shonen manga adventure Punch Up! Vol. 1.

[all ages]

Preview the very first graphic novel biography of the legendary Stan Lee, co-creator of Marvel's many superheroes including Spider-Man, Iron Man, Black Panther, Black Widow, Doctor Strange, and more, from Eisner-nominated artist Tom Scioli. I Am Stan gives Lee's life the comic book treatment and reveals the inner workings of the legendary creator.

[all ages]

Give your summer some extra thrill-power in this collection of BRAND NEW All Ages stories from the wildest comic in the universe: 2000 AD Regened! Featuring fan-favourite characters like Pandora Perfect, and starting points for new stories like Full Tilt Boogie, this issue is the perfect introduction to the incredible world of comics for rookie readers, or a gateway to a whole new array of stories and characters for comic book readers looking for their next reading adventure!

[all ages]

This issue invites readers to the groundbreaking and critically -acclaimed Marvel's Voices series, which spotlights creators and characters from across Marvel's diverse and ever-evolving universe. This includes a range of stories from previous Marvel's Voices issues, as well as A BRAND NEW ONE!

[Rating: Teen]

The story stars as Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman discover the dead body of one of their earliest enemies at the Hall of Justice. Their investigation takes them past the land of the living, beyond the land of the dead, and into a realm of nightmares. The only way to save the world is to call for the help of an unlikely hero: Deadman. This can't-miss prelude issue, also including behind-the-scenes looks at the chilling design work for this unique story, sets the stage for DC’s two-month Knight Terrors event!

[Rating: Teen]

This issue features a pair of BRAND NEW STORIES that set the stage for the next evolution in mutant adventures, FALL OF X, and introduces an uncanny new lineup for a new team book launching next year. PLUS: a preview of Jonathan Hickman and Valerio Schiti's upcoming mystery project.

[Rating: Teen]

For years, the symbiote family in the Marvel Universe has grown, and the latest smash-hit run on VENOM is no exception. With the violent and dangerous Meridius readying for war, the stage is set for catastrophe and this year's Free Comic Book Day will mark the beginning of the end of the symbiotes with the start of a BRAND NEW STORY!

[Rating: Teen]

To boldly go, join us for the exclusive prelude to IDW's FIRST Star Trek Summer Crossover Event as STAR TREK and STAR TREK: DEFIANT collide in STAR TREK: DAY OF BLOOD! But that's not all! Join the crew of STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS as they take to the holodeck, enjoying some much-needed recreational time—until a bloodthirsty visitor joins in on their games in these BRAND NEW STORIES!

[Rating: Teen]

Did you miss Animal Castle when it first debuted and captured all our hearts? Then make sure you don’t miss this preview of the start of the second volume, which also includes an excerpt from Animal Castle Vol 1 to fill you in on some of what you’ve missed! Volume Two picks up with Miss B trying to convince the animals not to give in to violence in order to put an end to Silvio's reign. But Silvio the bull dictator is trying to keep them under his hoof so he can hold onto power. Helped by his cruel canine militia, he decides to have the rebellious animals imprisoned in the dungeon. But Miss B and her friends will respond once again with trickery…and solidarity!

[Rating: Teen]

Tomorrow is a harmonious paradise thanks to the careful oversight of five families who make everything perfect…for the price of one child per household. Now, as that bill comes due, a son expected to give everything for a family that never loved him, and an affluent daughter determined to destroy utopia, must unite to end one generation's unnaturally protracted reign. Bestselling writer RICK REMENDER joins forces with the insanely talented MAX FIUMARA to take you through the dark science fiction world of THE SACRIFICERS! Get an advance look at 2023's most stunning new ongoing series with this Free Comic Book Day special!

[Rating: Teen]

Preview two new stories in one! In Choujin X, best friends Tokio and Azuma do everything together, even if most of the time it feels like Tokio is just stumbling along in Azuma's cooler, more talented footsteps. But when they're attacked one night by a superhuman mutant called a choujin, Tokio finally has a chance to shine-by turning into a choujin himself! Then in Rooster Fighter, in a world where terrifying monsters walk the earth, one heroic rooster is destined for greatness. When giant demons threaten the innocent, he's going to show them who's boss!

[Rating: Teen]

Chuck Chandler grew up under the wings of his loving parents. His father was an amazing investigator, and his mother an equally brilliant chemical engineer. While Chuck didn't have as much time with his father as he would have hoped, the skills he learned—coupled with a keen eye for mystery—have become a part of his very DNA. That's why when the Borealis attacked earth and his mother was declared missing, something just didn't sit right with him. Now, with the help of some young allies, Chuck plans to unravel the mystery by pulling on every thread. Let's just hope everything doesn't unravel before he solves it! Preview the BRAND NEW STORY here!

[Rating: Teen]

This BRAND NEW FCBD STORY leads directly into an epic new 4-part series launching June 2023! Read the first story to be set in the iconic medieval fantasy realm of Gielinor, which is home to humans, elves, dwarves, and dragonkin alike. Filled with vibrant characters, daring adventure, and mysterious magicks, the series will kick off in an epic Free Comic Book Day issue.

[Rating: Teen]

Two of the hottest new shonen manga in one sampler! The ghosts, gods, spirits, and zombies return in SHAMAN KING:FLOWERS, the sequel to the smash hit SHAMAN KING. Then, in Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun, a boy sold into the Netherworld, must survive a demon's education.

[Rating: Teen]

It's a whole new generation of World Warriors! In this issue, mixed martial artist Luke puts his special forces training to use against a group of art thieves, while sadistic kickboxer Juri faces off against graffiti ninja Kimberly! It's all out action in this official prequel to the new Street Fighter 6 video game! Pick this special one-shot up before the Street Fighter 6 4-issue miniseries, also launching in May!

[Rating: Teen]

Throughout the years, we have seen Chilling Adventures and gruesome outcomes emerge more frequently in various versions of Riverdale. As creatures gathered and teens were corrupted, the town became a hotbed for cruel and unusual events. Yet the question remains: why have Archie Andrews and his friends faced such terrifying tales? Who is responsible for creating these dark worlds, and how is babysitter Jinx Holliday at the center of it all? A story years in the making starts here in this BRAND NEW STORY! Beware the Cursed Library and all the horrors within!

[Rating: Teen]

The 50th Anniversary of Red Sonja begins here, with a BRAND NEW STORY telling the first of her all-new adventures! With a new film on the horizon, Dynamite Entertainment opens the flood gates of Red Sonja: She-Devil with a Sword!

[Rating: Teen]

From legendary SHADOWMAN creator Bob Hall, preview this BRAND NEW STORY that delves into the secret past of Valiant's premier horror character. Includes an inside look at the 2023 series X-O MANOWAR UNCONQUERED from the acclaimed writing team of Becky Cloonan and Michael W. Conrad and award-winning artist Liam Sharp!

[Rating: Teen]

In the small town of Arcadia Heights sits an abandoned house with an open door, daring anyone to enter it. Soon a ragtag band of teenage misfits will do just that...and return with a darkness the likes of which this world has never seen. Featuring an original prologue to THE DARKNESS WE BROUGHT BACK, a YA OGN from the minds of Alex Segura, Rex Ogle, and Joe Eisma, plus a BRAND NEW STORY from the critically acclaimed and much loved world of ANIMOSITY, written by series creator, Marguerite Bennett! A perfect blend of fun, suspense, adventure and intrigue, SEISMIC STORIES breaks new ground in the AfterShock FCBD tradition.

[Rating: Teen]

Welcome back to the world of Tom Holland's Fright Night! The 1985 film delivered a world full of horror, humor, and heart that captivated audiences and became an instant vampire classic. American Mythology is proud to celebrate the story of Fright Night with this incredible issue that continues the tale after the original screenplay ends and gives a first look at the brand-new Fright Night Origins series! Origins is written by Holland and delves into the official history of our favorite sweater-wearing, apple-eating vampire, Jerry Dandrige! Adapted by James Kuhoric and illustrated by legendary comics artist Neil Vokes, this new series is the perfect addition to every Fright Night fan's collection! The issue will also feature behind-the-scenes extras and artwork only available in the pages of the Free Comic Book Day special edition!

[Rating: Teen]

The newest series from New York Times bestselling and Eisner Award-winning writer/artist JEFF LEMIRE. The town of Belle River is infested with fishflies and the streets are carpeted with tiny insects…but that's just the start of the strange happenings and bad omens! When Franny Fox runs away from home, she befriends a strange, silent monster and sets off a chain of events that will unite the entire town in terrible ways. FISHFLIES #1 will clock in at an expanded 64 pages and land in stores this June-so don't miss out on this exclusive Free Comic Book Day preview issue for an early look!

[Rating: MATURE]

Presenting fan-favorites for FCBD: a squad of superpowered siblings and the infamous monster hunter! In The Umbrella Academy: Safe, Hargreeves and Abhijit embark on an interdimensional journey and find a cosmic horror that will have repercussions for our heroes and the universe. Then, in The Witcher: Frog Kiss, Geralt must uncover why the young women in Novigrad are turning into frogs!

[Rating: MATURE]

A beautiful vampire must flee monster slayers in New York City and reclaim the ancestral soil that restores her undead flesh. But the world has changed since she was reborn in the New Mexico desert, and now Constance der Abend and her loyal assistant Dooley must adapt to life in the rough frontier town of Sangre de Moro, where all sorts of monsters have settled. A western tale of survival starring a cast of literary horrors from the diabolical minds of Tim Seeley, Aaron Campbell, and Jim Terry.

[Rating: MATURE]

Preview the new ongoing series by Jim Zub, Roberto De La Torre, Jose Villarrubia here! On the eve of his first major battle, young CONAN OF CIMMERIA pictures a life beyond the borders of his homeland and yearns for a life of adventure undreamt of in his small village. Visions of future allies and unspeakable evils he will eventually encounter throughout his fabled career fill his mind as he makes the choice to take his first fateful step into the HYBORIAN AGE!

[Rating: MATURE]

An all-new adventure of Death Dealer headlines this fantastic voyage into the FrazettaVerse! The War of the Horsemen has arrived! You will also witness the rise of Dawn Attack in the far reaches of space. Then, the weirdness of Mothman unfolds in an excerpt from the limited series debuting this month! Read previews of all these BRAND NEW STORIES here!

[Rating: MATURE]

It's a Fabulous Furry Free Comic Book Day from Fantagraphics! Fanta's new hardback series collecting the full run of Gilbert Shelton's stoner-comedy-turned-social-satire will be the first time that the globally millions-selling most popular underground comix characters have been collected in North America in over three decades. Classic cartooning, timeless comedy, and trend-setting cat comics, for semi-mature readers.

[Rating: Teen]

Before all the fantastic movies, TV shows, and video games, there were comic books (and just saying, where would Hollywood be without us?). Take a look at the world of comic book collecting through a comic book centered on that very topic! Includes contributions from Mark Wheatley (Breathtaker), Joe James (Dark Dominion), and Daniel Krall in addition to J.C. Vaughn, Brendon Fraim, and Brian Fraim (Vampire, PA). From the team that brings you The Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide comes this 48-page Free Comic Book Day special full of exclusive original material.

[all ages]

#fcbd #free comic book day #fcbd 2023 #free comic book day 2023 #comixevent #comixsale #comixmech #comixyork

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theatricuddles · 1 year ago

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[ID: A comic of Sanji eating at a restaurant.

A pale-skinned waitress with red hair and a blue shirt whispers to a brown-skinned chef with purple hair, saying "See, I told you," as the chef says "It's really him..."

Both of them continue peering around the corner at Sanji, Chopper and Zoro eating as the chef whispers "Blackleg Sanji! The chef of Monkey D Luffy himself, trying our food?"

As Sanji starts writing on a little notepad next to him, the chef says "Oh god. Is he writing a review?"

Shoving the waitress towards the table, the chef says "Get out there and tell me what he's saying!"

Holding a glass on her tray, the waitress smiles, sweating nervously, as she winks at the customers and asks "How is everything guys? Can I get you something else?" Sanji smiles at her and says "Everything's wonderful, thank you."

"My compliments to the chef," Sanji continues. On his notepad, he has written notes about how to cook the meal: carnaroli rice, seabeast broth (2:4.6 ratio), stirred 45 minutes low heat (counter clockwise), starch should be removed, then added back in after toasting in butter and olive oil."

Off-panel, one of the other straw hats says "Try this one too, Sanji!" as the waitress ducks back into the kitchen, nervously saying "Uh." The chef asks "Well? What did he say?!"

The waitress nervously answers "I think... I think we're being robbed??"]

New wave of piracy

#One Piece #Sanji Vinsmoke #Tony Tony Chopper #Zoro Roronoa

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gameinfoxtbr · 2 months ago

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Black Myth Wukong Guide

In Black Myth Wukong Guide we expect to play one of the most promising RPGs in 2024. Amazing graphic or graphic roots and engaging gameplay make Black Myth Wukong stand as a huge game that is based on the book Journey to the West written in China. To get down to business EU, whether you are a newbie or a pro, let’s review the basics of role-play games and give you more information for your future as the Monkey King. In this article, let’s look at some basic general guidelines, the basic system, and fun to dominate Black Myth Wukong. 🎮

Starting Black Myth Wukong Guide: Essential Tips for Beginners

As most of you have noticed, Black Myth Wukong has stunning locations and fights with bosses so here’s the advice for new players. Don't worry, though; below is a summary of the things you should pay attention to when you first enter this fantastical realm: 1. Master the Combat System 🏹 As it has been discovered, Black Myth Wukong is solely centered on combat. You are also likely to find that it is somewhat unpredictable with a fluctuating climate than some of the other countries. Here we have a complex fighter named Wukong, with transformation ability, spell-casting ability, and speedy staff fighting style. To effectively accomplish the gameplay in this type of fight, you need to be able to strike as well as defend, parry, and counter your opponent.

GameInfoX Pro Tip: Even during boss bouts you can always have a shot at assaulting the boss for a while. Some bosses have a strong hit point attack which hits fairly quickly but leaves them open. The best thing one can do is to strike a casting blow and do as much damage as possible. 👉 Check out the latest update and news on Black Myth Wukong 2. Use Wukong's Transformations 🐲 Black Myth Wukong being a shape-shifting character is one of the best action role-playing games that are being developed today. All of these changes are necessary for either combat or solving numerous kinds of puzzles. Would you rather slide right by your opponents or just worm your way past them? Of course, the change always means some transition is taking place! It refers to these forms to be used to counter the opposition in battle and coordinate maneuvers in the surroundings. 3. Explore the Environment 🌳 Black Myth Wukong has a very similar and completely open world and I think there is much more to explore in the game. This is the location of upgrades, new types of enemies, and bonuses in the game’s mandatory-to-explore mode. Contrary to this, just stroll, but do it intentionally, consciously with a purpose to observe all the surroundings meticulously. In general, there are often some areas that will have strong objects or skills that will help facilitate your travels considerably.

Key Features of Black Myth Wukong Guide

You must become acquainted with Black Myth Wukong's main elements if you want to succeed in the game: A. Stamina Management 💪 In warfare, it was important to sustain such a vitality level. Wukong even uses stamina to block and to perform any move in his repertoire as the case may be. When the caches are exhausted, hostile forces get a clear window through which they can wipe out the caches. There is a Stamina bar to look at, patience needed, and proper balance between healing and attacking. B. Upgrading Your Gear and Abilities 🛠️ In this game to progress in the story, a player needs to gather upgrade parts for tools or powers of your characters. Don't ignore this part! As the game advances, the abovementioned factors will act as weaponry and ability class part of game challenges and difficulty levels of later opponents. 👉 Interested in knowing more about this game? Check out Black Myth: Wukong’s features here.

GameInfoX C. Boss Battles 🐉 Yes, there will be huge super battles only those resulting from henchmen fights, and a few parts out of the game where henchmen will fight in packs. Each boss has a set of attributes, abilities, and special attacks so it is clear that to defeat each of them the player needs to use a different approach. Find out what they like to do, look at their shortcomings, and strike only when it’ll be most effective. If you think that it is too hard to manage your employer use earlier tasks, enhance your abilities or information, and attempt it once more. 👉 Check out the complete Tier List for Black Myth: Wukong

Explore Wukong Powers and Abilities

Wukong has several techniques and is capable of using magic in a general sense in several fashions. Even though they may possess huge authority, as it will be raised, it will greatly affect the battlefield. Here are a few important abilities you can acquire: - Spells of Fire and Ice 🔥❄️ Allow them to heat as basic magic to find out its rules. Ice is great for freezing or slowing a character or anything that rapidly moves or for knocking it back and Fire does area-of-effect non-elemental damage. - Form-Shifting Skills 🐦🦋 Because he can transform into other animals such as birds and even insects Wukong fights in many forms and angles out different aspects of an issue. When one wants to perform what he or she normally cannot, or when one wants to overcome what he or she cannot usually overcome, make these changes purposively. - The Ruyi Jingu Bang (Wukong’s Staff) 💥 The flail is another weapon that is the main tool of Wukong in battle and this character differs from others by his staff. It may be opened and closed to allow you to safely engage multiple antagonists at the same time, or to launch a ranged attack on your enemies. To try and increase the damage done by the staff take a few moments to use a couple of different staff talents.

Meet the Developers Behind Black Myth Wukong

This game was developed by Game Science Studio, a team of enthusiastic developers who devoted some years of manpower and research to it. What was their objective? to wrap the readers’ understanding of Chinese mythology into the cuddliest and the shiniest bow possible. The well-known heroes and mythological creatures have been carefully and fast reconstructed by the developers, expanding the specter of an action role-playing genre.

GameInfoX 👉 Want to know more about the developers? Meet the team behind Black Myth Wukong.

FAQs About Black Myth Wukong

Q-1 Can Wukong launch all his abilities right now?A-1 However, many of Wukong’s abilities are earned as one progresses through the game since the character evolves as you progress.Q-2 Is Black Myth Wukong an online game? Is Black Myth Wukong multiplayer?A-2 For now, Black Myth Wukong is developed as a single-player game that will emphasize the narrative aspects and playability.Q-3 How hard is Black Myth Wukong?A-3 Despite the high level of difficulty, especially in boss battles, every gamer should comprehend the system of fighting, so the game is suitable for everyone.Q-4 On which platform will Black Myth Wukong be released?A-4 It will come out to play on PS5, XSX, S, and PC.

Conclusion

Black Myth Wukong, distinguished by dramatic graphics, unique combat, and obvious reference to the Chinese legend, is set to become one of the best action RPGs of 2024. What makes it more fun to play this game is that exploring the area, gaining new abilities, and confronting gigantic enemies all fall into that category. Are you trying to become the Monkey King? follow Black Myth Wukong Guide💫 Words: 756 Read the full article

#BlackMythWukong

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grapswithgabe · 4 months ago

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Wrestling Obsessives - Week #5: Chris Hero vs Mark Andrews - 5-29-2016 & Miu Watanabe vs Shoko Nakajima - 5-6-2024

Chris Hero vs Mark Andrews - 5-29-2016:

Even when I set my inherent biases and hate for Progress wrestling aside, I just couldn’t really get into this match. I keep my reviews pretty positive due to fact that I will always appreciate the athletic skills of the wrestlers within the match. Even with the obvious talent of Chris Hero and Mark Andrews though; this match simply didn’t grab me. Mark Andrews is an athletic but archetypical wrestler; he’s a flippy British guy whose whole thing is that he comes out to some punk rock, he likes wrestling, and he’s nice. Chris Hero is fucking awesome, his charisma makes his opponent seem like a block of wood. Even with Chris, I had my issues. I love me an athletic big man, but I wanted him to throw bombs and fucking knock Mark’s head off. It was too much grappling, counters, and athletic contests. Everything felt overly-smooth and weightless, there wasn’t anything that made me want to pay attention and really sink in. Honestly this just felt like a long TV match; no real sauce. These guys are proper athletes though; they move around the ring with ease and it’s a nice touch to have Chris rile up the crowd for Mark. This match just wasn’t for me.

Miu Watanabe vs Shoko Nakajima - 5-6-2024:

These are my two Teej goats. Miu Watanabe has it all, the charisma, the look, and the talent to back it all up. Seeing her as champ after her previous entry within this review series is a great sight to see. As alway my favorite feature of hers is the contrast between her appearance and her bruiser-powerhouse wrestling style. Shoko Nakajami is fun both in presentation and in the ring; a nice blend of mat-wrestling with a dash of lucha-libre. This match is established by the commentary team as a clash between to individuals that know each other like the back of their hands and it’s obvious with the amount of body-work and counters within this match. Targeting certain body parts is my favorite in-ring story and Miu puts her arsenal of back-breakers and submissions to good use. She essentially bends Nakajima into an upside down “U”. This match is heavily controlled by Shoko with Miu fighting from beneath her; Shoko is energetic and explosive in the ring. Her dive on the outside was fucking clean as hell. Of course I also have to mention the really fun test of strength that goes into a great monkey-flip countering sequence. The biggest moment towards the end is Miu’s massive swing. She fucking put her shit into high-gear for this one; she spins and an absurdly high speed and proceeds to dump Shoko to the edge of the ring. After a near fall and some more fun wrestling, Miu eventually makes the pin; cementing her first successful defense. Both of these women are fantastic; this match definitely shows the potential for how great Miu’s reign can be.

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marsmarvel02 · 8 months ago

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"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 20 and 21

Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix" a Handy Manny fanfic that- well, if I'm reviewing it, you know it's got to be bad.

Last time, we kicked off Part 2 with a bang, a poorly-named villain, and the promise of a fight scene. Today, we discover... that the fight scene doesn't actually happen. Boo.

(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)

Chapter 20

Wisp was looming over Carrie. “You’re making us look bad!”

“Wisp! Stop it!” Carrie whined, however he didn’t seem like was going to back down this time.

The part starting with “however” should be A. a separate sentence, B. completely rewritten.

“No!” He spat.

Well, if the tools can spit it means that matter does in fact have a chance of returning from the eldritch void their mouths link to, so that’s good news for the universe of Handy Manny.

“Wisp!” Anne warned. “That’s enough!”

She tried to grab him, but Wisp sprayed a blast of air in Anne’s face causing her to stumble back.

Why does Anne keep Wisp around? She could easily “fire” him and just get an inanimate pneumatic wrench, and it would save a lot of trouble.

“She’s an embarrassment to battery carriers everywhere!” Wisp said. “I’m sick of her foolishness!”

Or maybe Anne is too afraid of what Wisp would do if he found out he was fired… yeah, that seems to be the likely answer.

Iron Grip slowly made his way onto the workshop table. While Anne was trying to compose herself, Wisp kept his sights on Carrie.

“You pathetic little piece of scrap metal!” He hissed. “You don’t belong in this garage, you-”

“H...hey! Leave her alone!” Iron Grip managed to spit out.

Wisp turned around slowly, looking slightly surprised, until a grin of malice spread across his face.

“Oh? The Monkey Wrench is actually deciding to step up for once?” He asked, getting closer.

Why is “Monkey Wrench” capitalized?

Iron Grip started shaking, and was scared he’d lose his balance.

“Isn’t this great?” Wisp laughed. “Little Iron Grip wants to fight me.”

“F...fight!?” Iron Grip whimpered out.

“Yeah. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Wisp asked.

“N...no!” Iron Grip gulped, trying to find his braveness again. “I want you to leave Carrie alone!”

“And how are you planning on doing that?”

“Well I uh...uh…”

“Wisp!” Anne grabbed him in her hand.

Yeah, that bunch of yelling and Wisp hitting Anne with a blast of not-very-strong wind was the entire extent of this chapter’s “fight scene”. How disappointing.

“By distracting you until Anne was better!” Carrie chimed in.

“Better”? Seriously?!

At worst, being blasted by air from a pneumatic tool would be like being hit by a big gust of wind. It shouldn’t be an attack strong enough that someone would be stunned for several lines of dialogue before recovering.

How do I know? Well, in the Wood Shop class I took last year, we had an air compressor with a hose attached. It got used for its intended purpose, powering a nail gun, all of once, but the rest of the year kids treated it like a toy and blasted themselves with it for fun or to blow sawdust off themselves.

Anne glared at Wisp slightly. “You’re in big trouble…”

Wisp twisted in Anne’s hand, trying in vain to get free. He looked over at Iron Grip and sneered slightly. “I’ll get you for this, Monkey Wrench….”

Wow, only 27 lines of text (not counting spaces and my insertions)? That’s got to be a new record for the shortest chapter in this fic.

Chapter 21

A silence fell over the garage and Iron Grip could taste the staleness of the air.

Hey Anne, I think your ventilation system’s broken down!

Anne had left the room with Wisp, so now it was him, Carrie, and a few other tools just sitting on the counter in a stunned silence. Carrie still seemed shaken up as Iron Grip approached her.

She sniffled as she looked up.

“Are...are you okay?”” Iron Grip frowned.

Carrie let out a small sigh and nuzzled against him. “Oh Iron Grip, thank you.”

“Aw it was nothing.” He said, trying to fight the blush forming on his cheeks.

“Nothing?” She scoffed. “You stood up to Wisp! I’m so proud of you!”

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. Iron Grip didn’t even try to stop the blushing anymore, letting his whole face go red.

“Well uh...he was uh….yelling at you.” He managed to stammer out. “And I...I didn’t like that…”

Carrie nuzzled closer to him. “I love you, Iron Grip.”

“I...I love you too…” He sputtered out.

He’d told her he’d loved her before, but now he realized how much he did love her, and how much she meant to him.

Carrie made his heart soar and made him feel bliss. She was his everything, and in that moment he realized how much he truly was in love with her.

Gosh, author, your attempts at purple prose aren’t nearly florid enough. Come back and try again once you’ve gotten yourself a decent vocabulary.

Iron Grip slowly went over to the pile of scrap metal in the back of the garage, looking for the perfect piece of metal. Nothing too rusted or dirty, but something bright and shiny.

Sun light from the upper windows shined inside, reflecting on a small piece of metal in the pile.

This is perfect!

Iron Grip gripped the piece of metal tightly in his jaw and bent the metal into a circle. She’s going to love this!

Oh boy, I can tell the next few paragraphs are going to be thrilling.

Iron Grip carefully held the bent metal and hopped onto the table Carrie was on. She was still pretty stressed out about the situation with Wisp, and was trying to calm herself.

Her eyes were shut tight until she heard the clinging of metal hitting the table. The circular piece of metal laid in front of her.

“Iron Grip?” She asked, slightly confused.

“Carrie.” He said, gently. “Will….will you marry me?”

PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Her eyes lit up and she nuzzled against him. “Yes! Of course Iron Grip!”

Oh man, this is great!

“I love you…” Iron Grip breathed out gently.

And they say jokes that you can see coming aren’t funny!

“I love you too.” Carrie said, tearing up slightly.

I love the direction this story has taken. So much potential for mocke-

A sudden sense of trepidation has crept into my mind, along with the notion that the reason for my trepidation has to do with that one Plunker chapter I can’t remember.

Eh, I don’t feel like going back and reading it.

The two sat there embracing each other before Carrie pulled back. “Oh my gosh! We’ve got so much to do before the wedding!”

She started pacing around. “A wedding dress….Maid of Honor...Oh! And guests!”

How would a “battery carrier” wear a dress?

Iron Grip laughed a bit. “We’ll have plenty of time for planning.”

Carrie kissed his cheek again and snuggled him closer. “I’m just so happy….”

“I am too.” Iron Grip said, gently.

“Why don’t we go outside for a bit?” Carrie asked. “It’s very nice outside.”

“Okay!” Iron Grip said, excitedly.

The two of them hopped off the counter and headed out the garage door. When they were gone, Wisp popped his head out from a nearby toolbox.

Oh, so the two sweet bolts are getting married, huh? Well….I might as well make it a wedding they’ll never forget…..

Aaand CHAPTER!

(The next part of my review has now been posted!)

#marsmarvel02 does a review #review #fanfiction review #bad fanfic review #handy manny #what manny can't fix review

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whenimgoodandready · 1 year ago

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We all reserve a second chance. Whether it’s something we did or said, a second chance let’s us know that that person learned from their mistakes and can improve with time. The Snake Miraculous let’s us accomplish that. It represents rebirth, patience, intuition, healing and being of a sinister nature. Adrien realized he wasn’t cut out for this kind of power and suggested Luka for it instead (“Desperada”). It was through this power that he also discovered our heroes identities (“Wishmaker”). However, Luka is trustworthy and can keep a secret and if this power were to be in the hands of a villain, they would win! Or would they? Let’s see:

*Intuition-You’d think with almost all the miraculouses that can make you have the high advantage such as the Tiger (“Exaltation”), Monkey (“Derision”), Monarch would be victorious to win, but instead, he failed. Well guess what!? He also has the Snake which resets time in order to try again and counter attacks, but low and behold, HE’S BEEN USING THEM THIS WHOLE F*CKING TIME AND HE STILL FAILED! Whomp! Whomp! Whomp! Ladybugs Lucky Charm power adapts to whatever situation calls for the change and that’s why Butterfly Boy kept losing! That’s the power of luck baby!😉 Wonder if he used the Snake in the other eps like “Migration”?

Nathalie says to just quit already cuz Gabes condition is getting worse (“Destruction”), spreading to his internal organs! Which will eventually lead to “you-know-what” cuz time doesn’t give his body a Second Chance using the Snake Miraculous. He can’t have his akumatized victims use it out of fear they’ll betray and use that miraculous against him and neither he nor Nathalie can use it themselves cuz both are getting weaker and weaker as time goes on and soon they’ll be joining Emilie in a Sleeping Beauty like state! If that’s the case, who’ll watch over Adrien!? His bodyguard!?🤨

Before that question could be answered by the golden boy himself, his gf calls and mentions Max’s mother, Claudie Kanté, the astronaut (“Startrain”), is gonna be testing out a new spaceship AI named Ada in space by Tomoe Tsurugi’s company and then, LIGHT BULB!💡Butterfly Boy gets idea and akumatizes the ship making them believe Claudie is dead and using their sorrow to become Bugfighter! A Transfor- Decepticon like villain that tries to defeat the dynamic duo…….from the statement I just mentioned in the beginning of the Ep, you can tell how this is gonna go, so that’s why I’m not bothering much with writing this review.

To us, we saw how Glaciator and Dark Humor were guided into avoiding defeats by the heroes with Monarch using the Snake Miraculous until “God-knows-how-many-times” he just finally threw his hands and said, “F*ck it!”. We were experiencing the effects with the heroes when those first occurred and those were actually the last attempts! How fun!😁. Ladybugs Lucky Charm power is the most brilliantly used weapon as it produces a new charm to defeat the villains instead of using the same one from last time with the Second Chance power! Wow! Impressive! It’s not just her Lucky Charm, Monarch has also tried separating the dynamic duo, but even that doesn’t make his job easier. He realized this when for that one incident, Astrocat made a Second Chance happen for himself to stop Monarch until he (Monarch) thought of something else. Why didn’t he (Astrocat) take the reconfigured miraculouses when they were just right there!? Eh! They’d probably write something to explain that. Phffft! With each Second Chance, Monarch grows weak, not cuz he doesn’t have the strength to continue to use it, but it worsens his condition which is why Nat told him to lay off. He would’ve listened had he not already succumbed to madness and desperation with every opportunity he saw that may give him a chance to accomplish his goal to bring back Emilie, but his care for his well being and logical thinking was thrown out the window ages ago! (it got to a point where after a few Second Chances, Gabe swallowed his pride and confessed to Tomoe Tsurugi, that he was slowly dying and thus needed Ada’s password to hack her for another one of his schemes….then made her forget the conversation using Second Chance. Guy’s afraid to show vulnerability over here😒) :P. Speaking of logic, when Monarch tried to guide Bugfighter into countering Cosmobugs moves, Bugfighter would question it cuz it didn’t make sense to them thus realizing they’d been duped and free themselves from akumatization (Monarch shut down the biometric sensors to lead Ada into thinking Claudie was dead even though she was inside and when Cosmobug noticed a way to convince Bugfighter that Claudie was alive, without her Lucky Charm, Monarch tried to prevent it from happening, but he couldn’t figure a way to dance around it to Bugfighter cuz why would there be a need for them to do this action if “no one” was in the ship!? Thus, realization, thus defeat, thus he f*cked himself over!). Butterfly Boy isn’t as smart as we thought he was! HA! This also means with each failed Second Chance and Monarch just giving up already, there was no actual akumatized villain this episode! (second to “Cat Blanc”) In the end, Nat tells Gabe to just quit this bad guy business again and just go have a croissant with Adrien while he still has time to be with him and be a good father which looks like he’s willing to try! (long pause and big laughter) YEAH RIGHT! I’ve been spoiled by this season! There’s no way he’s gonna go through with that! (laughter ensues).

#miraculous ladybug #intuition #miraculous intuition

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pamgkrthwrites · 3 years ago

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Diff dimension Reader spending a day with MK and his clones(im fixated on a fic rn about a reader from our world going there rn leave me alone its interesting :>). Going out and just trying to have a good time with these crazy guys. All of them are so under appreciated and I love them! Also how they'd react to normal human reader since this is their second time meeting! romantic imagine please! Only if you're comfy!

Support me on Ko-Fi

Isekai Read spending a day with MK and his clones? Yeh let's go! I am only going to focus on 4 of the clones, Artist, Porty, Driver and Foodie. We will be doing Porty last.

MK is so glade he can spend time with someone interesting! He wants to hear everything about your world but if you really don't find your interesting he is more than happy to tell you everything about the Monkey King! He will bring you to all the aracdes he knows has Monkey King games too!

Artist!MK can be a bit rude but he doesn't mean to be! He will ramble on and on about art and art-making. Like the different forms it can take, systems, flow, colours, and what they mean for the artist vs viewer. Literally everything. He is more than willing to have you sit still and make 10 different paintings of you all in different styles and using different materials!

Driver!MK can come off as a dickhead, because he is one. He has you join him when he does deliveries and is an absolute road jerk. Tails people, break breaks people, Expect him to be one of the car guys that will go on for hours if you do not stop them about how great their car is but how this other car is better and that car is worse. I am not a car person and I have car friends and that is what they sound like I am sorry to car bros who might view my content.

Foodie!MK is going to bring you to all his favourite food places. And by "places" I mean Pigsy's Noodles. He wants to tell you why some foods are his favourite and wants you to review them. He just wants to talk to you about food. What a simp honest, simp man.

Warning, the following content is for an 18+ audience, if you are under the age of 18 do not read below. The character(s) depicted within this post are over the age of 20. This content has drug use. Please read at your own risk.

So, I have a lot of ideas for Porty!MK. None of them are for kids so last warning. My main ideas is that he will take you to a club and do club things. Partying, dancing, music, drugs, sexs. He has a favorite glory hole he would love for you two to try out. One bathroom in the club is just for sex and drugs and he wants to do it with you. He is perfectly fine fucking you on a bathroom counter, doing some drugs then playing some tunes. He would more than love that.

#lmk x reader #mk x reader #qi xiaotian x reader #x reader

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skellebonez · 3 years ago

Note

Prompt 69 with Syntax, except he's the one doing the glaring but at who, you decide!

So uh... what would have happened if MK didn’t just run in to get the sign in episode 9? What if, before grabbing it, he heard a certain voice that he recognized and went to investigate? Yeah, consider this an AU. Need a name for this one, I am accruing many now.

You see that death glare means she (he) likes you

This was... not exactly the predicament that Xiaotian expected himself to be in. At all. Not after being chased away from Spider Queen by her spider trio. He had just wanted to get Pigsy’s sign back... and he did! Eventually! 100% A+ marks on that! He just... hadn’t expected to find Macaque there as well.

Or some back with him and another... straggler.

"So... Syntax, was it?" Pigsy said roughly, earning a glower from the spider demon in turn.

They were inside Pigsy’s noodles, away from prying ears but still in their night clothes. Not that they had time to change. Not when Syntax was immediately interrogated and started explaining, and then Xiaotian had tried explaining over him, and then Macaque just. Revealed everything in one sentence. And that lead to a very tense, very uncomfortable explanation of exactly what was going on.

Xiaotian didn’t tell them Macaque was from the shadow play. Or what he did before than. Only that he was someone he knew through Sun Wukong who had tried to teach him before and wasn’t on good terms with his mentor, which wasn’t exactly a lie. And oddly, Macaque didn’t say anything either.

"Care to tell us exactly what the plan was for dealing with this "immense evil power" you were tricked into assisting at the cost of your entire clan's deaths?" Pigsy continued, brandishing his spoon he was using to make an emergency meal at him.

"Pigsy!" Tang chided with an exasperated look. "We don't know if they're dead."

"Could you maybe stop saying dead please?" Xiaotian asked quietly, curled up at a table in a corner away from the others, so quiet that the only person who seemed to have heard him was Macaque.

They wouldn’t be here having this conversation if MK hadn’t heard Macaque yelling in frustration so he supposed that was a slight victory. If Xiaotian was being honest with himself... he probably wouldn’t have told the others anything about what had happened. You can’t exactly hide a suspiciously familiar monkey and a very familiar spider when the three of you crash land on a roof together.

Going to see what was up let him free the immortal from the draining webbing he was tied up in, and had alerted Syntax to their location. If he hadn’t insisted on going back for the sign and that had not lead Syntax after them.. That would not have lead to the Spider Queen almost, almost, agreeing to work with him, and if he hadn’t grabbed the other at the Spider Queen’s insistence maybe...

“We were attempting to rebuild the mech from new years, if you must know,” Syntax answered haughtily. There was a shaking in his hands that no one pointed out, but Xiaotian could tell at least Pigsy and Macaque picked up on it from their expressions, as he did something with the gadget on his arm. Schematics, bright digital holograms, displayed in the air before them. “It would have worked, I’m positive of that! The White Bone Spirit is powerful, but not unbeatable as she is right now. Unfortunately, even if the Monkey Boy-”

“Kid, but if you’re going to call him the wrong name at least call him a man,” Tang said, a slight glower shining through his glasses.

“Monkie KID,” Syntax corrected himself tersely, returning to look at the schematics with a frown. He looked... genuinely upset as he reviewed them. “Even if he hadn’t interfered by coming for the sign my bots stole from you, we wouldn’t have had enough time or material to finish it before she found us out. It was... inevitable that something like this happen if we couldn’t convince our Queen to leave. And we couldn’t.” Syntax reached up, massaging his head as the hologram dissipated. “And we weren’t going to leave her alone. If only Huntsman had started asking questions sooner...”

At the mention of the eldest spider demon Sandy frowned, something deeply sad that Xiaotian couldn’t quite understand or parse from it. But clearly something had happened between them when he went to get the flower for his hiccups. He hadn’t hid their encounter from them, even if he didn’t tell them exactly what happened.

Syntax on the other hand went quiet, the mention of his comrade seeming to be the last thing to make him need to sit down at the counter and hold his head in his hands. “You know... he was annoying. Always trying to one up me, get the approval of our queen over me. But seeing him like that... and Goliath... they didn’t deserve that. He was good at what he did and I never got to tell him I didn’t actually hate him.”

The room went quiet after that. Xiaojiao moved to sit beside Xiaotian, wrapping her am around his shoulder. Tang stayed sat at the counter across from Syntax, watching him from the side with the barest tilt of his head. Sandy sat at a table away from the others, pulling something out his his pocket and cradling it in his hand. Pigsy continued to cook, more focused on it than he had been before.

And Macaque... Macaque stood in the middle of the room and scowled. Probably because he was so drained from the webbing that if he sat down he looked like he would pass out on the spot.

“There is... one good thing,” Xiaotian said after a moment, reaching into his jacket pocket. “Maybe? I-I was kinda distracted by the, you know. Spiders. Macaque screaming he was going to ‘send WBS to a realm even she can’t escape from when he escapes’, but I passed this room full of stuff...”

That got Syntax’s attention. “What room full of stuff?”

“It had the Trigram Furnace in it,” Xiaotian continued. “And a bunch of other stuff. Like this.” He pulled his hand back out and uncurled up on top of the table, letting his prize gently float down. Bright and golden-orange and as vibrant as the day Sandy had picked the whole thing. “I thought since Huntsman tried so hard to steal it from Sandy it might be important?”

“You stole back the Crimson Jimsonweed!?” Syntax yelled, jumping up and using his spider legs to nearly catapult himself in Xiaotian’s direction. “That... that may have been the most dangerous thing you could have done! And... and the smartest!”

“What?” Xiaotian asked deadpan, looking at the spider in confusion.

“The White Bone Spirit needs that flower petal to finish whatever she is making with the furnace!” Syntax continued, now pacing back and forth between the table, a smile slowly forming on his face. “Without it, she can’t finish it properly! She may be able to try, but there is no guarantee it would work, if she takes the chance and it does work than she will be significantly weakened by the lack of a key ingredient! She-she probably doesn’t even realize it is missing yet! YOU!” He pointed a spider leg in Sandy’s direction, making him jump in surprise. “Huntsman said you were knowledgeable of the flower’s properties, and I know there is a way to make it into a non-tea like medicine. Do you know of it?”

“Y-yes!” Sandy said after a moment of surprise. “It’s not hard to make, I could make it with what Pigsy’s got.”

“Good, make it immediately before she realizes,” Syntax continued, smirking. “She needs that petal whole and in tact. If you can break it down and make multiple small doses of medicine out of it-”

“Then she wouldn’t be able to use it because it wouldn’t be enough and what is left would be contaminated by the other ingredients!” Sandy finished, jumping up and rushing to the back of the shop. “PIGSY I’M USING YOUR SUPPLY CABINET!”

“What the hell is happening?” Pigsy asked in confusion, looking around.

“Your Monkey Man accidentally figured out the best way to mess up everything that was being planned,” Macaque said with a smirk, nodding in Xiaotian’s direction. “Gotta say, Kid, I’m impressed.”

“Wait, won’t this WBS person figure out what happened?” Xiaojiao spoke up. “She probably won’t be happy about it, she’d probably going to come after it!”

“....so we leave,” Xiaotian said, looking to everyone. “Maybe not all of us, but some of us should leave the city, stay in the forest or the desert so that if she does come back for it no one else will get hurt. Besides...” he smiled, finally, kind of sheepish. “I, uh.. think we should maybe stop squashing the city when we train. I think the neighbors are starting to get annoyed.“

“I think... that’s an excellent idea,” Pigsy said with a smile, taking his finished soup off the stove. “And you ain’t leavin me behind!”

“Or me!” Tang spoke up, turning in his chair to smile at Xiaotian as well.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE AGREEING TO BUT I’M IN!” Shouted Sandy from the back.

“And you know your girl is not getting left behind!” Xiaojiao laughed, pulling Xiaotian into a proper hug.

“Great, a whole gang,” Macaque said with a sigh, looking to the everyone before smirking in Xiaotian’s direction. “I know you’re not gonna let me just walk away, so I guess I’m stuck with you. But remember how I told you that you couldn't have too many teachers? That offer’s still open.”

“Tomorrow,” Xiaotian said firmly, more serious than his friends had ever probably heard him before. “We can start tomorrow. Real training, no tricks.”

The answer seemed to genuinely shock the immortal monkey, his un-glamored eyes wide in surprise. “Uh... ok. Tomorrow it is. No tricks.”

If everyone was confused by what they meant they didn’t say anything.

Syntax, moved back to the counter, tapping his hands and fingers against it in nervous energy. “I supposed I am stuck with you, after all my Queen said to go with you, and I can give you any information you need. Help with tech. That sort of thing.”

“As long as you don’t steal my dang sign again,” Pigsy scowled, depositing a bowl in front of the spider. He looked at it with suspicion, like he didn’t trust it to not be poisoned, much the way he looked at Pigsy in turn. “Or I’ll be the one squashin ya.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Syntax countered, his bright tone betrayed the severe lack of threat he felt at the other’s words. His glower though...

“Don’t worry about him,” Macaque said with a laugh, gesturing to Syntax. “You see that death glare means he likes you.”

“I DO NOT!” Syntax protested quickly and sharply, turning back and grabbing the bowl of soup and shoving a spoonful of noodles in his mouth before pausing. He said nothing, just looked down at the bowl before proceeding to devour it like a starving man who had been trapped on a desert island for weeks.

And for a moment everything seemed hopeful again.

It was the first time Xiaotian felt like this in a long time. He just didn’t expect it after revealing his secrets and with two of his enemies in the same room.

As they left to get on Sandy’s drone an hour later, full and ready to get more sleep after landing, Xiaotian couldn’t help but notice that Macaque stood father back from everyone else. Masked in shadow at times but still close enough for him to be seen. Syntax, on the other hand, seemed to have situated himself between Pigsy and Tang, talking to the scholar and the chef spiritedly about his recipes and the science of gastronomy (did this guy just know random stuff?). Which was weird, but at least they weren’t fighting.

Things felt... like maybe they could be alright.

#monkie kid #lego monkie kid #this au will be named eventually #gen fic #prompt fill #ensemble cast #i already have a lot planned for this actually #I wrote an entire outline for how the finale could still kind of go down in a slightly different way #also i have a crackship planned for this and no one can stop me

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governmentintelligence · 3 years ago

Text

happy birthday motherfucker <3

Here is a birthday fic!!

Words: 4910

MASTERPOST OF THE OTHER BIRTHDAY STUFF

KNOX INSPIRED ART <3 <3 <3 <3 GO LOOK AT KNOX ART

~~~~~~~~ no fun sexy linebreak sorry <//3 ~~~~~

It’s a slow mid-afternoon at Pigsy’s Noodles, home of the longest noodles.

Spirit is wiping down the outside tables, humming to themselves as they do. MK is basically laying on one of the tables, legs bent over the side as he scrolls idly through the restaurant’s email. Yes, email—the main network that nearly every business uses has gone down, citing a massive server outage.

“Ugh, no one even uses email anymore, and especially not for food orders,” MK groans.

“That’s not true!” Pigsy and MK had been going back and forth on this for about the past hour, since walk-in orders slowed. It had been almost thirty minutes before someone came in, and while this was an alarmingly slow state, it was unusual for MK to be waiting for orders to deliver rather than the other way around. “People use email for catering events! And if anyone really wants some good noodles, they know they can call in!”

Mei, leaning with her back on the counter, and Tang, sitting at his usual counter spot, share a look. These two had been ping-ponging their argument on and off since the server shut off earlier in the day. It had been demon related in one way or another, another one of Yin and Jin’s hairbrained schemes that MK interrupted before much irreversible damage was done. They’d been hoping to gain control over the city’s main set of servers, used by most mobile apps.

While they’d been swiftly defeated, it still left a remarkable amount of damage on the servers themselves, leaving most of the city’s biggest commercial apps down, including the delivery app.

“Okay, and how many call-ins have we gotten?” MK looks up, only to be met with a glare.

Tang shrugs at MK’s assertion. The argument’s been going in circles thus far; it feels only fair to try and interrupt it. “He’s not wrong. A lot of delivery’s based out of the apps. This is really why having a delivery app trust is helping to wear down independently owned businesses.”

None of us came here for a lesson in market monopolization and trusts, though, readers included. Mei groans, and MK’s arms flop over the sides of the table.

“I’m too bored for a lesson in macroeconomics,” Mei grumbles.

MK, from where his head is leaning over the table’s edge, makes a sound of agreement. Pigsy and Tang share a look, Spirit can see them through the window, before Tang leans back towards MK’s prone body.

“Hey, never too bored to become even more bored!” Tang sounded too chipper when he said it.

That got MK to look up from where he was tangling over the table, giving Tang a glare that mirrored the one Mei was sending him. Even Pigsy stopped stirring his noodle broth, turning to stare at Tang with his eyes squinted.

The silence is moreso what gets Spirit to look up, and once they see everyone staring at Tang, they stare, too. Mostly out of curiosity and partly out of confusion.

They can sense the tension, however light, from a mile away. It makes them hesitant to come back inside, but they have the dirty rags to throw into the laundry bin from cleaning the table. Then, they have to throw the laundry into the machine and change out the cycles, maybe fold the other load of dishrags and washcloths.

Having Spirit’s three extra eyes on him does get a nervous chuckle out of Tang, though. Pigsy spares him the plight of having to redirect the conversation. “I’m still goin’, til closing. It’s slow for deliveries but we’ve been getting some walk-ins and some call-ins. What if a catering order comes in, you know?”

“Aren’t catering orders supposed to come in, like, days before they want you there?” Mei hops over to the counter now, leaning over the side.

That revelation has MK leaping off of the table, landing light on his feet on its surface. Having his various Monkie Kid abilities has helped with some of the acrobatics he does, including his balance. “HANG ON, YEAH!”

He spins around, pointing at the clock on his phone while he flashed it towards Tang, Mei, and Pigsy. “Indoor seating closes soon! And Spirit just finished wiping down tables!”

Mei picks up what MK is suggesting first, throwing her arms up in excitement right back. “CAN WE GO TO THE ARCADE EARLY?”

Her voice is much too close to a shout for Spirit’s liking as they come back in and toss the towel they’re holding. It echoes around the restaurant, likely too sharp of a sound for anyone else here to hear. Mei means well, though, and Spirit knows the conversation doesn’t involve them.

Until MK says, “YES! Hey—Spirit!”

Hearing their name shouted, however friendly, gets their shoulders to hike. They turn around, expression just a tinge wary, and face MK’s excited grin head-on. “Would you want to come with us?”

Leave the restaurant? Well...it was slow. And Spirit wasn’t a cook, they were a waiter and a busser. If people were eating in the restaurant, it would make sense to have an extra hand on deck, just in case.

But right now, the only person eating in-house was Tang, and he’d gotten to the point where he was washing his own dishes when no one else was around. If Pisgy was okay with them going out….but they wouldn’t want to go to the arcade. It was loud and crowded. Many lights and many people and many machines making loud victory sounds. If they could avoid it, they would want to.

They pull at the sleeves of their shirt. It’s a plain white one, the kind that they prefer wearing to work so they don’t get any of their recognizable clothing dirtied. They only have so many sets in purple, after all, and they don’t want to get any dirty here. Plus the black and the white kind of helps to blend in.

“I don’t know. I, um….” They press their fingers together in thought, holding their hands together in front of themselves as they think.

A grunt from behind the counter drew everyone’s attention once more. Pigsy was still stirring the broth with one hand, watching the conversation over his own shoulder. “Maybe not the arcade with Spirit, you know how packed it gets at this time. All the kids getting out of school.”

There was something tender about Pigsy’s concern. Spirit smiles a little, lips pursed tight in the growing tension, and shrugs.

Mei wasn’t about to take a hard “no,” though. She nods to Pigsy’s suggestion that the arcade wasn’t the right place and then adds on, “How about the thrift mall?”

The thrift mall was a new installation of the city. A collection of thrift stores, auction houses, and antique stores all shoulder to shoulder in a multi-story shopping complex. It had just opened about a month ago and reviews were all positive. Plus, the idea of thrifting was returning to popular culture as something akin to recycling, so it would solve some of the fast designer fashion problems.

On a more personal note, too, Mei had been hankering to get a look at the place. She liked adding her own flourishes to the jacket she’d gotten MK years back, so much so that it was a thing she did to her own (to match with her best friend, duh?!) and to almost anything else she could get her hands on. Vintage patches, from the mid 2800’s, even some from as early as the 2500’s, could be found in the backs of antique stories. If she could get her hands on something from even the 2700’s, Mei would lose her marbles.

She’d been dying to go, of course, but every time she and MK were on their way, something would happen. Usually a demon would attack in some way, shape, or form, something small. Once, they made plans, and MK had completely forgotten he was on shift for delivery that day.

Things just kept misaligning, and MK very much knew how desperate Mei was to go to the thrift mall. Sure, there was the repeated asking, and now there were the current puppy dog eyes.

MK, also very much desiring to go, immediately follows suit. “Can you come to the mall with us?” he asks Spirit, bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly.

And now they were faced with two young adults giving them the saddest looks they’ve ever seen.

The thrift mall was new, yes. It was nearby the demon market, actually, and there were even some stores in the mall that were fronts to people whose names were in their book. It would likely be much quieter, no loud blaring music, no smoke machines or flashing lights.

More...agreeable, in a way.

They’re also pretty hesitant to say no to these kids looking at them like that. Not to say that that’s the only reason they’re going! They haven’t gotten a fresh new outfit, rather than clothes they wear to the noodle place or the variants of their own outfit, literally since Macaque took them to the tailor’s way back when. Clothes were just a societal necessity, not something that they cared much about anymore. Though, if they’re going to a store, it could be nice.

But, at the end of the day, how can Spirit say no to the expressions MK and Mei are giving them.

“If you would want,” Spirit answers.

They have no idea how they get themselves into it, honestly. MK and Mei both hiss a soft “YES,” slap palms, and from there, things go quite fast. They’re still in their human disguise, wary of any other humans seeing them in their monkey form, but they find that that’s for the best. Maybe when looking at clothes, though, they’ll change back. They wouldn’t consider themselves vain, but they’d like to see what looks good on both ends…?

Arriving at the thrift mall is interesting, because it isn’t the world’s most distinguishable location. Spirit lets themselves be pulled in behind the two chattering adults, Mei almost bouncing off the walls in excitement as she recognizes some of the stores.

Very immediately, too, she pulls them into a warehouse-looking location right inside the building. It’s lined with racks and racks of pants, and apparently the upper layer is meant for tops. There are many colors, many styles of clothing that Spirit hasn’t seen in fashion for years. They’re not caught up on pop culture in the slightest, but they catch sight of a band shirt that was definitely from the early 2900’s.

Another surprise is that the store is relatively empty. For a newly opened mall, you would expect crowds of people to be trying to pack into the stores, but this one’s labyrinthic nature seems to be separating the groups of people out a lot better than a regular store’s open flooring would be. Less people to run into when there is simply less road and so much more clothing to look at.

Spirit does their best to follow behind Mei and MK as they go up the stairs, into the similarly packed tops section. They weren’t really planning on buying anything, moreso just look and wistfully desire. But then Mei whips around with a purple varsity jacket, a dusty pink-purple in the middle, and whistles.

“Hey, Spirit, it’s a you jacket!” she laughs.

It does fit uncannily well with Spirit’s own color scheme. They look it over and nod slowly. “It is,” they say.

The peer pressure is on now, though, as MK leans over Mei’s shoulder. “Try it on! Let’s see if it fits!” he says.

Well, now….Spirit puts on the jacket carefully, knowing that it’s at least many decades old. It’s surprisingly sturdy and comfortable, likely from being worn by someone ages ago. It’s a little short but, in terms of width, it fits perfectly. They find that they can zip it up with room to move.

“It’s kind of soft,” they say. “I like it. I don’t know where I’d wear it, though.”

“Hey, you never know where you’d wear something until you’re going there,” Mei responds with a wave of her hand. “I don’t think through my outfits every day.”

“You don’t?” Mei looks pretty put together consistently, so that comes at a surprise.

Spirit remembers Macaque telling them that they need a serious outfit to be taken seriously, that their appearance is their first impression. They try to put a lot of thought into the things they wear whenever it’s not

Mei, however, just shrugs. “Nope! I usually just throw on a shirt and then my jacket over it.”

Interesting. And she still managed to look very cool.

Spirit follows Mei and MK through the aisles, watches as MK climbs on top of Mei’s shoulders to grab another shirt, this one with only one strap on the shoulder and a cute tie off. It looked like a very summery shirt. But it was purple, which Spirit didn’t consider MK or Mei’s colors, really.

Until he, still on Mei’s shoulders, leans towards them. “Hold up that one!” he says as he shoves the shirt into their arms.

They catch it and look over the fabric, soft and sturdy. They hold it up for MK and Mei to inspect, both humming in approval.

That was how the mall visit turned into a Spirit-centric fashion show, hosted by MK and Mei. Spirit was just along for the ride honestly, catching the articles of clothing that were just being dropped into their arms. MK and Mei were like a whirlwind, ripping out anything that looked remotely purple and showing it to the other for opinions. They murmured and schemed together, Spirit catching bits of “too rough” and “too loud” to describe some of the discarded articles.

It takes some time, but after about an hour, they’re walking around with a modest pile of clothes. Spirit thinks there’s a dress in there, even which is going to be a very interesting try. They haven’t worn many dresses.

MK and Mei were being intensely serious about this, too. They were inspecting each article before pushing it into Spirit’s hands, showing them to each other for confirmation. Most were actually hung back up, unfitting in some way or other that they weren’t privy to.

That was fine, though, because they don’t think they could have tried on everything that was purple in this warehouse. It was hour two, halfway through the bottoms section, before the tiredness began to kick in. Socializing was kind of hard, after all.

At least they weren’t having to talk for a lot of it. Mei stopped a few times to ask if they were doing okay, MK asked if they were hungry or if they all wanted to take a break, but Spirit wasn’t tired enough to want to leave just yet. And if these two were having a good time, then who were they to stop them mid-shopping.

At least the tops section went a little faster. Most pants weren’t built to handle fur, squeezing a little too tight, with the added limiting factor that MK and Mei were mostly looking for bottoms to match the tops they found.

The accessories section wasn’t as big as the tops or bottoms sections, of course, but there were still a series of wonders. The socks were in here, surprisingly. After one look at Spirit’s bare feet, though, MK and Mei only decided on one pair. They didn’t even glance the shoes section before grabbing what looked like a straw-woven fedora and pulling Spirit towards the changing rooms.

“It’s time to try on all the clothes!” MK proclaims, and Spirit kind of saw this coming, but they’re still confused.

“Why were you handing me the clothes?” they ask.

MK and Mei stop, both turning to Spirit with blank expressions. It must just now be registering that they never actually asked them if they wanted to wear the clothes, because they share a small glance before Mei goes, “Um….for a fashion show?”

Now, that’s interesting. Spirit’s not going to say no, of course not, but…. “Why?”

“Because you would look so cute in these,” Mei says. “I mean, vintage leather is all the rage now, everyone’s got one.”

She points out the purple leather jacket at the top of the pile and points to the fitting rooms. “It might be cool to have multiple sets of clothes that’re kinda, you know. Styling.”

“You’d be a fashionista,” MK adds on, pretending to swoon.

“What an icon,” Mei catches MK as he pretends to fall. “Stellar.”

They both hold pose, too, as they watch Spirit watch them.

And, come on. How can they say no to that.

Spirit gulps, then nods, almost worried. They don’t know what they’ll look good in. According to Macaque, it’s hard to find clothes that look at least acceptable, so they don’t enter the changing room with high hopes.

The outfits are all fairly modern, and Spirit wants to get the socks over and done with first. They pull on the socks, a deep purple with lilac dots, and notice that it’s a stretchy kind of fuzzy. They’re thick enough but hole-y enough to let their feet breathe in. Then, they pull on the cargo shorts, button up the purple shirt, and head on out for Mei and MK’s look.

They’re both sitting on a bench chatting outside of the fitting room, something about something on Mei’s phone. Probably another funny cat video, if we’re being honest. When Spirit walks out, though, Mei shuts off her phone at record speed.

They both “ooo” at the outfit. “Do a turn!” MK says, and Spirit obliges.

It feels comfortable. Almost summer-y in how the outfit was loose, yet contained itself in enough of a way for them to be mobile. The pants are a lot less tight than they seemed, and the whole outfit makes Spirit kind of want to climb something. Maybe a tree.

“You look so CUTE!” the exclamation catches their attention again as they notice MK clapping excitedly, Mei shaking her fists up and down, both unable to contain their excitement.

It was strange to see them so excited over Spirit’s outfit. They weren’t really expecting that kind of compliment over their appearance, especially after how quickly Macaque reminded them that they were hard to dress for.

“Really?” they ask.

MK and Mei nod their heads so fast it’s a wonder they don’t fly off.

“Hell yeah!” Mei jumps up, hopping to Spirit’s side. “I love the button down on you! The white one you wear at the noodle shop is pretty, too, but the color is,” she does a chef’s kiss motion as she hurries around Spirit for another 180 look.

“No one else is around, you could transform! We should see how it looks with all the fur,” MK suggests.

And he’s not wrong, per se. There aren’t any cameras in the changing rooms and there isn’t anyone else back here, not yet. Plus them being a monkey isn’t too big of an issue when they’re out of the restaurant. Some customers can get rude over the potential of fur in their soup and if they don’t have to change, they don’t always want to.

Spirit changes back, fur poofing out, and it surprisingly slots nicely into the spaces between the threads of sock. Their tail swishes right above their pants and their hands shake, almost in excitement, before they quell the movement.

“And it still looks awesome,” MK does a fist pump.

“Did you really have any doubt?” Mei says with a laugh, and MK shrugs.

The confidence almost washes off onto Spirit. Maybe it does, a bit, as they turn back to the changing room they’d exited.

The next outfit is one of the dresses. They’re feeling spicy, what can they say. It has a cute pink collar, a whole second layer of fuschia beneath a dress with semi-shimmering fireworks.

“You look gorgeous! Oh my god!” Mei says when she sees Spirit.

The next outfit is the one with the hat, along with a pair of jeans and the shirt with the tied off shoulder.

“I love that! The shirt looks so good on you!” is MK’s appraisal to that one.

An outfit with the purple leather biker jacket over a pair of black jeans and a pink shirt.

“You’re such a badass, so stunning!”

A dusty purple dress with white scalloped trims.

“That’s adorable, oh my—that neckline, though!”

Spiked cuffs, a choker, and a collared shirt with a smiley face design.

“You look so cool as a punk!”

Spirit was buzzing by the end of it. They hadn’t tried on this many outfits in this quick succession in a while, but every time they changed clothes, they would exit the room and do a spin for MK and Mei.

And every time, without fail, MK and Mei would applaud and compliment, which was the most surreal part. They weren’t used to that, not in the slightest, not when they were so hard to shop for. The last time, with Macaque, that must be….what, centuries by now? Absolute ages.

They’d assumed shopping would be hard, after that. But with MK and Mei’s cheering, they found it hard to be worried.

That didn’t mean they weren’t tired. They excited the changing rooms and began putting the outfits onto the rack to be taken back, when Mei hopped off the bench.

“Aw, did you not like them?” she asks.

Spirit blinks, surprised. “Um, no! They were really nice. I just, um. Don’t know where I would wear them.”

Mei blinks, as if she doesn’t really understand that sentiment. Spirit scratches the back of their neck, watching her and waiting for a response. It must be weird for her to think of that. She and MK hang out every night, once the noodle shop is closed. Mei must not understand that Spirit simply doesn’t have a place to wear them.

“Oh,” Mei hums.

It’s a fight that she doesn’t pick, it seems, and Spirit’s fine with that. MK sighs along with Mei. “Fair enough, if you don’t want them. I think Pigsy’d be okay with you wearing something flashy around, though!”

“That’s good to know,” they say, and they leave it at that.

Neither of the other two butt in, either, which is nice. Truth be told, Spirit’s not sure where they would wear the clothes, other than to the noodle shop. Plus, they don’t really know where they’d store it. Probably at Pigsy’s place. But would they want to take up even more space than they usually do? They wouldn’t want to just have stacks of it sitting by their hammock. That feels unnecessary.

They still leave the thrift mall with an air of relief and contentment. All of those outfits were really pretty. Very different, sure, but very pretty! Spirit could see themselves in them. Gosh, if Red were here, he would have been ecstatic over it. He has an eye for designs, they know.

While they’re happy to move on to the next store not having gotten anything, both MK and Mei keep glancing at them, as if worried. And they don’t really know what else to say, other than what they already have. The looks make them a little nervous, though.

At the very, very least, they spent a good four hours in that one giant store. It seems to be one of the mall’s super stores. Mei and MK bring Spirit around for a small walk at the others, coo’ing in interest at a vintage electronics store they found—Mei finds a perfect duplicate of the phone Spirit used to have, which they chuckle about. They enjoy being able to see the many emojis that everyone uses! Red’s fire emojis pack more of a punch now, as do Mei’s green hearts. They aren’t shocked at all to find that their phone’s dupe is labeled as “ultra rare,” and that it’s priced in the upper hundred thousands.

There’s also a vintage patch and accessory shop that Mei basically drags MK and Spirit into, though that’s not to say they need much convincing. She does buy a few there, too. Spirit just looks at some of the cuter ones, finding a blue skull that looks almost purple. Periwinkle, the store’s representative calls it. They think it’s cute, though they put that back, too. What need do they have for these things?

Sure, they’re pretty, and Spirit thinks it would be nice to own them. But….well. Where are they going to put it? Where are they going to wear it all? Would they have to do laundry more often? They just don’t really know, you know, and it’s not something they want to commit to.

On the ride back to the noodle shop, MK and Mei make jokes about how they should give Spirit’s old phone away to that antique store. The owner would probably lose it to see another one still functioning. Spirit just laughs along, social battery drained after many hours of working at the store and the four hours they spent at the mall. It feels nice, though. They don’t often go out for so long in such an agreeable space.

It’s a nice moment they think back on, and in their sleep, right before it overtakes them, they think of the varsity jacket. It looked a little like Mei and MK’s.

And that’s the last Spirit thinks of it.

Until a few weeks later.

It’s by closing of the shop that Mei approaches Spirit, holding something behind her back excitedly. She hadn’t been in earlier, since noon, and while MK hadn’t said anything about it, Spirit suspected something was happening. Pigsy had asked a few times, surprised to see Mei out doing something else during a time they’d’ve expected her to be taking up the seat next to Tang, and he’d been almost cagey over it. Spirit had just hoped that nothing was wrong.

But then, when Mei got to the shop, she bounded in with a whirlwind of energy right before stopping in front of Spirit. MK, too, hopped off of the chair he’d been sitting in as he listened to one of Tang’s tales.

Spirit, to their credit, was just washing dishes. And now they were, again, being bombarded with puppydog eyes from the duo.

They didn’t even say anything! They just stared at Spirit, who looked to the side at Pigsy, then at Tang, then back at the duo.

“Um, yes?” they were almost nervous now, despite the expressions, so they dried off their hands and stepped around the corner.

A package is shoved into their arms. They jump, taken aback by the sudden movement, but then look at the package. It’s just wrapped in clear plastic, so they can see exactly what it is. It’s the exact varsity jacket from the thrift shop, the purple one. But it has a special patch on the front, the blue skull they’d seen at the store.

Carefully, Spirit unwraps it. As the sleeves unfurl, Spirit notes that there are elongated white cuffs and a white trim along the bottom. Likely to make up for the space it lacks to fit Spirit’s body. Maybe other alterations were done, too, because it does seem generally bigger.

They flip it around and emblazoned on the back is a giant patch sewn on and hand-embroidered of Spirit’s face. There are two circles beneath their hair, too, in the same blue as the skull. They realize it might represent earrings, to the others. To Spirit, it represents something much different.

Spirit isn’t used to. Receiving things. They just stare at the jacket for a second, as if their brain can’t compute that this is a thing for them, with nothing attached. It was like Mei giving them an upgraded phone. But this doesn’t even have any value. This is just something that they saw that Spirit enjoyed, and then got.

“We know you didn’t know anywhere to wear the clothes, and we were throwing like, full outfits at you. But we did want to get you something, you know? No strings attached, I just wanted to get you something to fit with ours, and this one was just too perfect to leave! I loved making it,” Mei explains, hands pressing together as she watches Spirit’s face with her own wide grin.

“So, like, if you don’t want to wear it around, you don’t have to. There’s no pressure, at all! But we thought it’d be cool if you, uh. If you had the option to match,” MK jumps around, showing his own jacket. “Like you’re part of the team now!”

Part of the team.

Spirit couldn’t remember being a part of anything, not for the longest of whiles. Yet MK, the Monkey King’s whole successor, who they really shouldn’t even be talking to if you think about it, is proclaiming to be on the same team as them?

They don’t know what words there are to describe the feeling, but Spirit’s hands ball on the jacket, holding it tight against their chest. They don’t know when they started smiling but now they notice it only because it’s beginning to hurt their cheeks.

“I love it,” their voice is a whisper, almost afraid to raise it. “Thank you.”

#friends #writing #my shitting writing

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comixconnection · 7 years ago

Text

Counter Monkey John Arminio reviews ‘Mister Miracle’ #5

Now that Entertainment Weekly has declared Mister Miracle “Best Series” in it’s 2017 comic book roundup, it seems Jack Kirby’s vaunted Fourth World has gone... mainstream? So why do I need to add my voice to the avalanche of acclaim to Tom King and Mitch Gerads’s revolutionary take on the DC universe’s greatest escape artist? Heck, why do I need to offer yet more praise to the body of work of both Tom King and Mitch Gerads, whose comics I have already gushed with prolix prose and conversation about how much I adore them? Because Mister Miracle deserves it, that’s why. It’s a book that is creating an entirely new vision of a character while paying homage to his legendary creator. It celebrates in nostalgia while making it clear that such an outlook could have a deleterious effect on our psyches if we continue to gaze backwards. It comments on the metatextual nature of Mr. Miracle and of incorporating the intellectual property of an artist and creator whose own intellectual property was frequently co-opted while he was alive, yet is, at its core, a story about love, family, and how we combat despair. The is real deal comics.

(Image from Mister Miracle #1)

What immediately separates King and Gerads’s Mister Miracle from anything Kirby did is how restricted the movements of the characters are and how they are so confined by the panels we find them in. There is no room for the hyper-exaggerated poses or trademark Kirby Krackle that made Jack Kirby’s work so distinctive and dynamic. Much of the current series in structured in a ridged panel grid system, trapping the characters in an unvarnished, harsh reality with no escape (even for an escape artist). When the grid system is abandoned for a looser page setup, the images are still frequently dominated by close-ups and faces, the depressed or angry expressions of the characters telling much of the story thanks to Gerads’s incomparable facial renderings. We as readers are as trapped with the inescapable rage and angst as these characters, contained in their emotional myopia. It’s a harrowing experience, one made all the more desperate when it’s Mister Miracle, Scott Free himself, who is the trapped individual we are reading about. The greatest escape artist is trapped in this 12-issue story arc, riding to its inevitable conclusion.

Issue #5 opens with Scott Free, in full Mister Miracle garb, standing in front of a Grauman’s Chinese Theater-esque movie house, putting his own hands in the handprints, immortalized in concrete in front of the theater, of Jack Kirby himself. Later, resting on a hill with his wife Big Barda, Scott will pontificate on the nature of existence, God, and the “I Think Therefore I Am” philosophy of Rene Descartes. We have Scott putting his hands in those of his own creator, then, while reflecting with the woman he loves more than anything in the Universe, if he even exists; if anything exists. It’s an incredibly poignant moment, made all the more powerful by the fact that Kirby created the Fourth World and the New Gods as a means to ask those questions of himself.

This collision of meta-commentary and genuine, heartfelt emotion is something I would never have expected in... any narrative. Sure, we have Deadpool breaking the fourth wall and Christopher Nolan has used some of his non-Batman films (The Prestige and Inception in particular), to comment on the process of filmmaking itself, but those examples are usually an end unto themselves and tend to lack any emotional connection to the audience. I am hard-pressed to think of such synchronicity in which a story is using the medium of its own specific storytelling to comment on the medium and the story itself, WHILE being a compelling and heartbreaking narrative all at the same time. It brings to mind Shakespeare’s “All The World’s A Stage” monologues or Dante writing The Divine Comedy about ascending to Paradise all the while banished from his native home and an enemy of his church. Fitting, that the family dynamics of Mister Miracle are downright Shakespearean and the war of the New Gods is comparable to that between Heaven and Hell.

And even with all of that lofty presentation and historicity, both in the real world and in the Fourth World, Issue #5 resonates most powerfully as a love story between a husband and wife, a couple who love and depend on one another as fully when they are playing carnival games as when they are combating the innumerable parademon legions of Apokolips. Mister Miracle and Big Barda (can I call them “Bardacle?”) are a fascinating and unique couple, especially in comics, where stable, fulfilling marriages are rare. Jack Kirby purportedly modeled their marriage after his relationship with his own wife, and it manifests with a spirit of equanimity and trust. Free and Barda fully depend upon one another when they need to, have faith in each other’s emotions and motivations, and those aspects are mined by King and Gerads and made even richer and more fulfilled in this story. This Mister Miracle series is not an all-ages book and, since the physical relationship between any married couple is an essential part of a healthy relationship, it represents the sex life of Bardacle in an honest, funny, heartwarming, and even tasteful way. The height disparity between Scott and Barda is evident but never played for laughs. Instead, it is a charming aspect of their relationship; part of what makes their marriage unique. Issue #5 allows us to explore how perfect these two New Gods are for each other and how intimate and human their marriage really is.

Of course, this being a book by Tom King and Mitch Gerads, these moments of bliss are few and far between, tragically constructed to make us feel the full, desperate force of the despair to follow. In Issue #4, Scott Free was sentenced to death by his own step brother, Orion, for daring to question his leadership abilities in the New Gods’ war against Apokolips. Thus, Issue #5 functions as a sort of “Last Night On Earth” for our illustrious couple, at least before Scott is dragged away by the denizens of New Genesis to see his sentence carried out. When this finally occurs, every scene previous becomes more powerful and poignant in retrospect; the debates about existence, the stubbornness in the face of pointless carnival games, the last time the couple would make love; it all coalesces in a beautiful statement on how these two people love each other and why. Why, amid all the fighting and pain they have experienced in their lives, they are still willing to endure anything for each other, to go to war for each other. Now, that war has come home and woe to anyone who seeks to tear them apart.

#mister miracle #tom king #mitch gerads #jack kirby #new gods #fourth world #darkseid #apokolips #comic review #john review #counter monkey review

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jeannereames · 3 years ago

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Hi, Dr. Reames! I just read your take on Song of Achilles and it got me thinking. Do you think there might be a general issue with the way women are written in mlm stories in general? Because I don't think it's the first time I've seen something like this happen.

And my next question is, could you delve further into this thing you mention about modern female authors writing women? How could we, beginner female writers, avoid falling into this awful representations of women in our writing?

Thank you for your time!

[It took a while to finish this because I wrote, re-wrote, and re-wrote it. Still not sure I like it, but I need to let it go. It could be 3xs as long.]

I’ll begin with the second half of the question, because it’s simpler. How do we, as women authors, avoid writing women in misogynistic ways?

Let me reframe that as how can we, as female authors, write negative (even quite nasty) female characters without falling into misogynistic tropes? Also, how can we write unsympathetic, but not necessarily “bad” female characters, without it turning misogynistic?

Because people are people, not genders, not all women are good, nor all men bad. Most of us are a mix. If we should avoid assuming powerful women are all bitches, by the same token, some women are bitches (powerful or not).

ALL good characterization comes down to MOTIVE. And careful characterization of minority characters involves fair REPRESENTATION. (Yes, women are a minority even if we’re 51% of the population.)

The question ANY author must ask: why am I making this female character a bitch? How does this characterization serve the larger plot and/or characterization? WHY is she acting this way?

Keep characters complex, even the “bad guys.” Should we choose to make a minority character a “bad guy,” we need to have a counter example—a real counter, not just a token who pops in briefly, then disappears. Yeah, maybe in an ideal world we could just let our characters “be,” but this isn’t an ideal world. Authors do have an audience. I’m a lot less inclined to assume stereotyping when we have various minority characters with different characterizations.

By the same token, however, don’t throw a novel against the wall if the first minority character is negative. Read further to decide if it’s a pattern. I’ve encountered reviews that slammed an author for stereotyping without the reader having finished the book. I’m thinking, “Uh…if you’d read fifty more pages….” Novels have a developmental arc. And if you’ve got a series, that, too, has a developmental arc. One can’t reach a conclusion about an author’s ultimate presentation/themes until having finished the book, or series.*

Returning to the first question, the appearance of misogyny depends not only on the author, but also on when she wrote, even why she’s writing. Authors who are concerned with matters such as theme and message are far more likely to think about such things than those who write for their own entertainment and that of others, which is more typical of Romance.

On average, Romance writers are a professionalized bunch. They have national and regional chapters of the Romance Writers of America (RWA), newsletters and workshops that discuss such matters as building plot tension, character dilemmas, show don’t tell, research tactics, etc. Yet until somewhat recently (early/mid 2010s), and a series of crises across several genres (not just Romance), treatment of minority groups hadn’t been in their cross-hairs. Now it is, with Romance publishers (and publishing houses more generally) picking up “sensitivity readers” in addition to the other editors who look at a book before its publication.

Yet sensitivity readers are hired to be sure lines like “chocolate love monkey” do not show up in a published novel. Yes, that really was used as an endearment for a black man in an M/M Romance, which (deservedly) got not just the author but the publishing house in all sorts of hot water. Yet misogyny, especially more subtle misogyny in the way of tropes, is rarely on the radar.

I should add that I wouldn’t categorize The Song of Achilles as an M/M historical Romance. In fact, I’m not sure what to call novels about myths, as myths don’t exist in actual historical periods. When should we set a novel about the Iliad? The Bronze Age, when Homer said it happened, or the Greek Dark Age, which is the culture Homer actually described? They’re pretty damn different. I’d probably call The Song of Achilles an historical fantasy, especially as mythical creatures are presented as real, like centaurs and god/desses.

Back to M/M Romance: I don’t have specific publishing stats, but it should surprise no one that (like most of the Romance genre), the vast bulk of authors of M/M Romance are women, often straight and/or bi- women. The running joke seems to be, If one hot man is good, two hot men together are better. 😉 Yes, there are also trans, non-binary and lesbian authors of M/M Romance, and of course, bi- and gay men who may write under their own name or a female pseudonym, but my understanding is that straight and bi- cis-women authors outnumber all of them.

Just being a woman, or even a person in a female body, does not protect that author from misogyny. And if she’s writing for fun, she may not be thinking a lot about what her story has to “say” in its subtext and motifs, even if she may be thinking quite hard about other aspects of story construction. This can be true of other genres as well (like historical fantasy).

What I have observed for at least some women authors is the unconscious adoption of popular tropes about women. Just as racism is systemic, so is sexism. We swim in it daily, and if one isn’t consciously considering how it affects us, we can buy into it by repeating negative ideas and acting in prescribed ways because that’s what we learned growing up. If writing in a symbol-heavy genre such as mythic-driven fantasy, it can be easy to let things slip by—even if they didn’t appear in the original myth, such as making Thetis hostile to Patroklos, the classic Bitchy Mother-in-Law archetype.

I see this sort of thing as “accidental” misogyny. Women authors repeat unkind tropes without really thinking them through because it fits their romantic vision. They may resent it and get defensive if the trope is pointed out. “Don’t harsh my squee!” We can dissect why these tropes persist, and to what degree they change across generations—but that would end up as a (probably controversial) book, not a blog entry. 😊

Yet there’s also subconscious defensive misogyny, and even conscious/semi-conscious misogyny.

Much debate/discussion has ensued regarding “Queen Bee Syndrome” in the workplace and whether it’s even a thing. I think it is, but not just for bosses. I also would argue that it’s more prevalent among certain age-groups, social demographics, and professions, which complicates recognizing it.

What is Queen Bee Syndrome? Broadly, when women get ahead at the expense of their female colleagues who they perceive as rivals, particularly in male-dominated fields, hinging on the notion that There Can Be Only One (woman). It arises from systemic sexism.

Yes, someone can be a Queen Bee even with one (or two) women buddies, or while claiming to be a feminist, supporting feminist causes, or writing feminist literature. I’ve met a few. What comes out of our mouths doesn’t necessarily jive with how we behave. And ticking all the boxes isn’t necessary if you’re ticking most of them. That said, being ambitious, or just an unpleasant boss/colleague—if its equal opportunity—does not a Queen Bee make. There must be gender unequal behavior involved.

What does any of that have to do with M/M fiction?

The author sees the women characters in her novel as rivals for the male protagonists. It gets worse if the women characters have some “ownership” of the men: mothers, sisters, former girlfriends/wives/lovers. I know that may sound a bit batty. You’re thinking, Um, aren’t these characters gay or at least bi- and involved with another man, plus—they’re fictional? Doesn’t matter. Call it fantasizing, authorial displacement, or gender-flipped authorial insert. We authors (and I include myself in this) can get rather territorial about our characters. We live in their heads and they live in ours for months on end, or in many cases, years. They’re real to us. Those who aren't authors often don’t quite get that aspect of being an author. So yes, sometimes a woman author acts like a Queen Bee to her women characters. This is hardly all, or even most, but it is one cause of creeping misogyny in M/M Romance.

Let’s turn to a related problem: women who want to be honorary men. While I view this as much more pronounced in prior generations, it’s by no means disappeared. Again, it’s a function of systemic sexism, but further along the misogyny line than Queen Bees. Most Queen Bees I’ve known act/react defensively, and many are (imo) emotionally insecure. It’s largely subconscious. More, they want to be THE woman, not an honorary man.

By contrast, women who want to be honorary men seem to be at least semi-conscious of their misogyny, even if they resist calling it that. These are women who, for the most part, dislike other women, regard most of “womankind” as either a problem or worthless, and think of themselves as having risen above their gender.

And NO, this is not necessarily religious—sometimes its specifically a-religious.

“I want to be an honorary man” women absolutely should NOT be conflated with butch lesbians, gender non-conformists, or frustrated FTMs. That plays right into myths the queer community has combated for decades. There’s a big difference between expressing one’s yang or being a trans man, and a desire to escape one’s womanhood or the company of other women. “Honorary men” women aren’t necessarily queer. I want to underscore that because the concrete example I’m about to give does happen to be queer.

I’ve talked before about Mary Renault’s problematic portrayal of women in her Greek novels (albeit her earlier hospital romances don’t show it as much). Her own recorded comments make it clear that she and her partner Julie Mullard didn’t want to be associated with other lesbians, or with women much at all. She was also born in 1905, living at a time when non-conforming women struggled. If extremely active in anti-apartheid movements in South Africa, Renault and Mullard were far less enthused by the Gay Rights Movement. Renault even criticized it, although she wrote back kindly to her gay fans.

The women in Renault’s Greek novels tend to be either bitches or helpless, reflecting popular male perceptions of women: both in ancient Greece and Renault’s own day. If we might argue she’s just being realistic, that ignores the fact one can write powerful women in historical novels and still keep it attitudinally accurate. June Rachuy Brindel, born in 1919, author of Ariadne and Phaedra, didn’t have the same problem, nor did Martha Rofheart, born in 1917, with My Name is Sappho. Brindel’s Ariadne is much more sympathetic than Renault’s (in The King Must Die).

Renault typically elevates (and identifies with) the “rational” male versus the “irrational” female. This isn’t just presenting how the Greeks viewed women; it reflects who she makes the heroes and villains in her books. Overall, “good” women are the compliant ones, and the compliant women are tertiary characters.

Women in earlier eras who were exceptional had to fight multiple layers of systemic misogyny. Some did feel they had to become honorary men in order to be taken seriously. I’d submit Renault bought into that, and it (unfortunately) shows in her fiction, as much as I admire other aspects of her novels.

So I think those are the three chief reasons we see women negatively portrayed in M/M Romance (or fiction more generally), despite being written by women authors.

------------------------------------

*Yeah, yeah, sometimes it’s such 2D, shallow, stereotypical presentation that I, as a reader, can conclude this author isn’t going to get any better. Also, the publication date might give me a clue. If I’m reading something published 50 years ago, casual misogyny or racism is probably not a surprise. If I don’t feel like dealing with that, I close the book and put it away.

But I do try to give the author a chance. I may skim ahead to see if things change, or at least suggest some sort of character development. This is even more the case with a series. Some series take a loooong view, and characters alter across several novels. Our instant-gratification world has made us impatient. Although by the same token, if one has to deal with racism or sexism constantly in the real world, one may not want to have to watch it unfold in a novel—even if it’s “fixed” later. If that’s you, put the book down and walk away. But I’d just suggest not writing a scathing review of a novel (or series) you haven’t finished. 😉

#misogyny in m/m romance #how to avoid misogyny writing women characters #writing complicated women characters #asks #writing life #writing advice

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whirlybirdwhat · 3 years ago

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Heyo~ I just wanted to say that your fanfics have inspired me to write my owns, they're so good!!

But my writing isn't nearly as good, do you have any advices for this starting writer? <3

oh my gosh anon !!!!!! im ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ !! im so glad they inspire you, and I wish you all the best on your writing!!! you got this, and please link them if/when you post!!!! 👀👀👀

as for advice - i got a few things!

first off, your writing is yours, and - especially in fic - there isn't necessarily a type of 'good' writing, just different skill sets! for instance, i find that my weak point is dialogue, while im great at worldbuilding + emotions. another writer might be the opposite, but it doesn't mean my writing is 'bad' and theirs is 'good' or the reverse, simply that we have different strengths! as you grow as a writer, you will find your strengths and learn to grow them, and your weak points! there is truly no standard, so don't put yourself down!!

moving on to more advice however - (EDIT: theres a tldr at the bottom because sorry, i rambled a bit!!)

1. write. it doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter when, it doesn't matter how! I have written fics on sticky notes in the middle of class (whiskey peak chapter of esom) on discord in the span of a few hours (make a choice (turncoat hero)) and in my notes apps (the ace/yamato fic i posted)!! if you learn to write anywhere you please, this will keep ideas from leaving your mind, and allow you to get into the zone that there doesn't have to be a set time to write!

2. length never matters for a fic. If 100 words is all it takes to write what you want to write, then 100 words is all it takes! don't let the general adoration for long fics to scare you off from writing, and write what you're comfortable with. I know writers who only write chapter fics, and writers who will only write one shots (then there's me, who tries to do both at once lol.)

3. when i am lost with the plot of a fic, the first thing i do is draft an outline of what i want to happen next. this is just a simple bullet point outline, in the general fashion of, say

- luffy gets a different hat post pirate king

- monkey steals hat

- luffy calls for zoro

- zoro sleeping?? sanji kicks him then fight

- the monkey is revealed as the red haired pirates monkey

- shanks shows up "miss me anchor?" party time

brief, follows a simple set of actions, perhaps one or two lines that i thought of while writing, and gives me a skeleton to follow so that when i lose myself in a fic i know where i can go next. Some people find it useful to do this at the beginning with a super detailed plot, and others never write a outline at all! it depends again on how you grow as a writer, so don't be afraid to try different things out when you approach a fic

4. stuck on a part? writer block? can't focus? get up drink a glass of water, and get back to writing! i find this helps me get refocused on writing when i am stuck, a little body 'wake up' as you will.

5. never EVER delete a scene from a fic. never. NEVER. move that scene to another doc, put it in a 'scrapped writing' folder, idc, but never delete it entirely. it helps you grow as a writer, and you can always put the scene back/reword it, etc. i cannot count on my hands how many times i have reworked a previously scrapped portion of a fic and came out the better for it!

6. having multiple wips is okay!! celebrate it even!! i always have at least five docs for five separate fics up on my computer at all times so i can shuffle between them when writing and write what im inspire for in that moment. its okay if you never make headway on one of them, as long as the ideas keep flowing

7. want to get something out quick? word wars are your friend - set a timer for 15 minutes, and write as many words as you can. this is especially fun if you have someone doing it with you, so you can compare counts at the end and share your story!!

8. writing, like all art, takes time. and, generally, there is a chance you will write faster when you first set out to write then you will later, because later, you will be more conscious of your word choices and be more deliberate and careful in your plot, rather than just churning out works. It's okay if you don't churn out 5k a day - writing is not an obligation!

9. have. fun. im serious! write what you want to write, even if it seems no one will love it or like it or want to read it - write what brings you joy, what makes you smile, even if it's something that's been done a thousand times before!! this is what fic is, for your own personal enjoyment. Additionally, do not be discouraged if there's a low amount of reviews for something you put your heart and soul. it sucks ass, yes, (i have a couple fics i love which have only gotten like, a quarter of attention of some of my other fics) but ultimately, the idea you wrote down is one you want to see in the world!! it doesn't quite matter what anyone else likes.

10. grammarly, word counter, word, etc - anything with a spellcheck is your best friend, and will generally catch things you miss if you cant find someone to proofread for you. additionally, if you want to be more critical of your fic, look for friends tto give constructive critcism, but know that you absolutely do not have to accept it from any stranger online unless you asked specifically for it.

11. fanon is fanon and popular headcanons are popular headcanons and both are absolutely not canon. you do NOT have to follow it if you do not want to.

12. read!!! i read a lot of fic, a lot of published books, and each has something i really enjoy and apply to my own fics.

13. to reiterate again just... write. write and write and write. i have over 300k posted to ao3 rn, and more in my docs. you will not improve your writing to any standard that you set for yourself unless you write!! always practice!! learn from your mistakes!! grow!!! you will improve with time, i promise, just go out and write what makes you happy anon!!

tl;dr have fun, write a lot wherever and whenever, and write for yourself before anyone else. you will improve with time as a writer the more you practice, and it doesn't ever matter how long your work is.

if you want more specific advice on formatting fic/general rules/ your first time posting, feel free to send another ask!! but for now, i wish you the best of luck anon and a very 👀👀👀👀 at your future fics!!!

#that was #so much rambling i am sorry but i do hope its helpful!!#whirlywhat #whirlyanswers #advice #writing #fic writing advice #fic advice

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