#counter monkey review

[seregios-seer]

Monster Review: Kecha Wacha

This guy is one of my first memories with Monster Hunter, and by god is that gonna skew my results! I always found Kecha Wacha to be a lively, exciting animal, and it really makes low rank in 4u stand out. This is a monster that really feels like a common animal, like something that a regular person would just see in the distance. Plus the first cutscene makes him look so goofy, and it still doesn’t feel less threatening for it, which is kinda impressive tbh.

4U (IG): So Kecha has a really unique movement system, especially in netted areas. This makes him a really different kind of fight from most others up to this point, and that definitely adds to the excitement in this fight. Maneuvering around some swiping attacks while Kecha’s swinging can sometimes be a bit of a challenge due to how fast they are, but overall don’t pose much threat if you’re cautious about them. The flips from hanging can really pack a punch, and I think it adds a good deal of character to this monster, makes him feel kinda all over the place. As one of the few water element monsters in the game, Kecha Wacha can also lob blight-inducing mucus globs from his snoot. It’s definitely an interesting attack, but honestly not the biggest deal because at long distance you have so much space to dodge and in melee you can’t really even be hit. The last big thing about Kecha (until we starting talking enrage) is his swooping attacks, which pose the most danger when you’ve retreated to use an item or when you’re right up next to him. The hit boxes on these always feel a bit bigger than they should be, but more often than not were still easy to dodge (I have some really nice kills from swatting Kechas out of the air during this). There’s also however a pretty big difference between regular and enraged Kecha. Seeing the ears fold over his face and form a mask was pretty damn cool the first time I saw it, and the increased aggression really sold the “rage” part of enraged. The circle slamming and quick, repeated forward swipes made it feel like a wild animal lashing out more than any other fight in this game really does. Unlike the hanging twist attack Kecha uses while climbing, the repeated turn and slam attack is however really easy to work around, and usually becomes a free attack opportunity more than anything.

GU (Various): This fight’s very similar to the original 4U fight, but being high rank exclusive was honestly kinda shocking, although not under appreciated. The big difference here is how this fight works with hunter arts, and I must say that movement-based arts provide a huge bonus and almost trivialize this fight sometimes, but slower, heavy-damage ones get pretty hard countered by the spastic movement patterns Kecha throws out constantly. Styles like Striker and Aerial usually fare pretty well, where Alchemy sometimes has issues trying to use the barrel without extreme retreats, and until you really practice the fight, Adept and Valor can be shockingly difficult.

Rating: 9.7/10

This monkey fight like a sugar-hopped 8 year old and can hit like a gorilla.

Ash Kecha Wacha:

This is what I’m talking about! Now in large part Ash is just a reskinned element-swap but it still hits so different for me. The extra flips it brings to the fight and the generally more threatening colors also make this such a strangely good subspecies. Plus farming the 10 star quest is a good way to farm frenzy crystals, so there’s that too.

4U (IG): So aside from the obvious speed, health, and damage increase, this Kecha also spends a lot more time in the air, which isn’t much an issue for me since I use THE aerial weapon. Hovering the air for close range fire blasts and flipping into and tumbling out of dives faster than ever before, Ashbos very good a mobility, and generally feels more controlled than the base species. There’s not much more to say about the enraged form that hasn’t been said already but really? Bouncing on purple sharpness? Are his ears really that strong? Ash is overall a much more challenging and rewarding fight than the regular species, and specializing into aerial combat was a neat choice!

Rating: 10/10

4th gen subspecies stay winning!

[lilveeblog]

nap?

little!jj x cg!elle cus it’s the cutest ever

“Wakey wakey little princess,” Elle whispered in her blonde baby’s ear, “It’s time to get up.” JJ whined and rolled away from Elle’s chest. Elle laughed and climbed out of bed, turned the big light on causing a loud groan from the bed.

“Maaaaa,” JJ cried out, flicking her legs as Elle just chuckled in response. This was the reaction she received every single morning. Elle laughed, ignoring the wails and entered the ensuite bathroom. She turned on the shower and then some music before stepping in, waiting for her blonde beauty to join her. A few minutes later, JJ dragged herself from the bed, blanket and teddy in her hand and shuffled into the bathroom.

“Come on, it’s not going to be warm forever,” Elle chuckled. JJ whined again, rubbing her eyes and dropped her things on the floor. She took off her t-shirt and let her soggy pull up drop to the floor too. Elle held her hand as she stepped into the shower and they got all cleaned up, ready for a day of work.

“JJ,” Elle laughed as JJ tried to climb back under the covers after her shower. She wasn’t even dry. “You’re getting the bed all wet you monkey. Get here,” Elle climbed onto the bed, straddling her little girl and JJ giggled loudly as Elle leaned over her.

“I tired,” JJ muttered, smirking up at her Ma.

“Yeah?” Elle laughed. “Well I’m tired of you getting my bed soaking wet. Get dressed,” she climbed off JJ.. JJ whined before sitting up.

“Maaaa,” she cried, reaching out to Elle who began getting dressed.

“Yes my princess?” Elle asked, knowing exactly what JJ wanted. The same thing she wanted every morning. JJ huffed and threw herself towards Elle, giggling loudly.

“Ma help,” she whispered, wrapping her arms and legs around Elle who was in the middle of getting dressed herself.

“I can’t help if you’re being a koala,” Elle chuckled, hugging JJ close to her regardless.

“Jus cuddwe quick,” JJ mumbled, snuggling into Elle.

Twenty minutes later, they were in the kitchen. JJ was sitting on the kitchen counter, her bunny in her hand and paci in her mouth as she swung her legs gently. Elle moved around the kitchen with haste.

“Ma ‘ou go f’y ‘ound like ‘abbit!” JJ giggled through her paci, throwing her bunny up in the air and catching it.

“Yeah because we’re running late,” Elle replied.

“Why Ma, no be ‘a’e,” JJ shrugged.

“Because,” Elle giggled, turning to her blonde princess. “Someone didn’t want to get dressed this morning!” She tickled JJ’s stomach causing JJ to curl over, giggling loudly.

“‘unnnny, dat so cheeky. ‘ou have ‘isten to ma when s’e tew ‘ou get d’ess!” JJ giggled, scolding her bunny. Elle laughed and carried on packing them both some food.

“Right, let’s go. Have you got everything?” Elle asked, picking up the car keys. JJ looked around the room, inspecting it and then nodded. “Good girl.” Elle took her hand but just as they stepped out the door JJ gasped.

“Ma! I need wee,” she whispered quietly, bending her legs. Elle laughed and opened the door for her.

“Go on then, be quick,” she told the young girl. JJ quickly ran through the house to the bathroom though Elle could see the door to the downstairs toilet from the front door. She just shook her head in disbelief. JJ was her absolute favourite. JJ ran back downstairs a few minutes later.

“Did you wash your hands missy?”

“Yes ma! See!” She waved her wet hands around and Elle laughed.

“Let’s go.”

“You know where I am if you need me,” Elle said softly to JJ in the elevator. JJ nodded and smiled up at her caregiver.

“Have a good day,” JJ whispered to Elle, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek.

“Good girl, you too.” Elle gave JJ a sneaky kiss on the lips before they exited the lift.

Lunch time came around and the day had been pretty slow for most of the team, however, JJ was suffering in silence in her office. She’d had multiple calls from different precincts this morning asking for help and her pile of cases that needed reviewing seemed so much larger than normal. She could feel herself get more and more overwhelmed by the minute. When an email came in from Hotch, asking to see her in his office she huffed loudly before throwing her head in her hands.

She grabbed some cases before heading out of her office. She didn’’t want to see anyone or speak to anyone, she wanted to get to Hotch’s office.

“Morning JJ, how was-” she charged straight past Spencer. He was the last person she wanted to see. Always buddying up to her Elle. Sitting next to her on the plane, making jokes with her, sharing glances with her Ma. Not his. Hers. Spencer was definitely not the one she wanted to see.

“Whoa,” Elle said, reached her hands out, noticing her blank Spencer. However, JJ walked straight past Elle too - jogging up the stairs.

“Is she okay?” Morgan asked, joining everyone’s concerned faces pointing in that direction.

Twenty minutes later, JJ emerged from Hotch’s office still with a face of thunder. She ignored everyone’s glances, especially Elle’s before heading back to her office with haste. Elle sighed, put down her file and headed after her. Her little girl was stressed and clearly upset and she wasn’t going to let her sit with that alone.

Elle entered JJ’s office and quietly shut the door behind her before heading around to her desk. JJ was curled up, under the desk, sobbing heavily into her knees.

“Oh princess,” Elle whispered, moving to sit besides her girl. “What’s going on, hm?” Elle moved closer to JJ and almost instantly, the young girl climbed into her Ma’s lap.

“So much,” JJ cried heavily into Elle’s neck, getting herself into her favourite koala position.

“Okay, take deep breaths. We’ll work through it sweetheart,” Elle reassured her girl, caressing her hair and beginning to rock them both. In her ma’s comforting arms, it didn’t take JJ long to calm down completely. Her breathing settled so much, she was in a sort of sleepy state.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elle asked softly.

“Busy,” JJ whimpered.

“You’re busy?”

“Mhm,” she whimpered and sat up, rubbing her eyes, “Too much ma.” Her eyes filled with tears again and Elle pouted, caressing JJ’s cheeks.

“No more tears now princess. Would you like Ma to help you sort it out?” JJ nodded and sighed, letting her shoulders slump. “Good girl. We’ll get this sorted and then we can head home early - okay?”

“And nap?”

Elle chuckled a little and nodded; JJ loved her naps. “We can nap. Let’s get it done first.”

They began getting to work on prirotising cases and sorting through files. It wasn’t long before the pair were done and JJ was resting her sleepy head on Elle’s shoulders.

“Let’s go say goodbye to the team and then I’ll take you home,” Elle whispered softly, taking JJ’s hand. JJ whimpered but got up anyway, to say goodbye.

Before they were even out of the car park, JJ was fast asleep in her special seat. It was like a car seat in the back of the car, to help support baby JJ. Elle could tell she was quite far in headspace so supported her accordingly. Elle drove around a little while, listening to her podcast while making sure JJ had a sufficient nap. Elle still had to get some work done at home but she assumed JJ would be good as gold, as usual. Though clingy, JJ was the best behaved for Elle. She was cheeky, she was sassy but in the best way. Elle loved her so much and seeing her now, in her mirror, her heart swelled with love for her little monkey.

[bitchdafuqyousay]

Bad Bread

Nikolaj stared at the vague imitation of a loaf of sourdough on his kitchen counter; his lips pressed into a thin line in a desperate attempt to keep himself from laughing at it.

"Niko, I'm gonna fucking die. Oh my God it's so ugly I'm genuinely ashamed of it. My hideous first born child," His guest, an enthusiastic but slightly hopeless bread baking tutee groaned pathetically, her upper half slumped onto the counter next to him with her face in her hands.

"It's... certainly an effort. So."

She made a distressed keen from behind her hands, a sound he imagined a slowly dying rodent might make, "Fuck this I'm sticking to desserts. The only bread I'll ever make is monkey. God."

That hardly counted as a type of bread in Nikolaj's opinion, but he digressed;

"Maybe not all is lost, Anna, the outside appearance is. Well. We can both see it in front of us but maybe-"

"Niko I swear to whatever higher being you believe in if you it's what's in the inside that counts me right now I'll throw a fuckin' tantrum."

"Frankly, I think you're already throwing one. A small one, but one nonetheless," He pulled a bread knife from his knife block (a recent birthday gift from the woman currently whining over his counter) and approached the almost bread adjacent lump to slice it.

Wow.

"It deflated."

Anna screeched something unintelligible and all but fell to the floor, crouching on his tiles. The crust had somehow completely separated from the actual bread, and was floating down pathetically onto the loaf like a sad, threadbare blanket. Nikolaj once again sucked his lips in to keep from wheezing out a laugh, his friend was having no such reservations however.

She'd gone from woeful humiliation to loud uninhibited squawks of laughter; stifled only by her hands that still hid her face, "Oh my god it's so bad!"

"Air bubbles happen," He was trying for encouraging, "It might be alright."

"Nikooooo-" She wheezed out through peels of laughter, "You know it's shit!"

"Not yet I don't." Despite his placating he was squinting suspiciously at the thing. Truth be told, he had zero inclinations or even a smidgen of faith that it would taste alright. He broke off a teeny piece from the slice he'd cut, steeling himself to try it.

His efforts to prepare himself were for naught, however, because Anna had sprung up whip-quick from her spot on his tiled floor and snatch the morsel from his fingers.

"No. No fucking way. I'll be damned if I let you try this. I'm humiliated as is and I'd sooner throw myself down this building's elevator shaft than let Nikolaj- premium baker savant perfectionist- Kato put this anywhere near his pretty mouth." She punctuated her (ridiculous) statement by tossing the bite of bread into her mouth and chewing quickly like there was a risk he'd take it back from her. He leaned back onto his counter, crossing his arms over his chest and watching the very impressive array of expressions cross her face.

"It's so bad. It is so goddamn bad," was the final review- delivered with a now deadpan face and rounded shoulders, "It's a good thing I brought my own ingredients instead of using yours like you offered. This is a total fucking waste. Of everything. Even air."

Nikolaj snorted and swiped a second small piece for himself, he wanted to know. He was desperately curious, ignoring Anna as she slowly shook her head no, tossing it into his mouth and cautiously chewing.

It really is true that curiosity killed the poor cat.

"Honestly, I'm impressed. It's texture in hand and on first bite is fine but somehow it turns to ash the second it comes into contact with saliva-" He wasn't able to suppress a huff of laughter this time "-it even tastes like ash. I imagine this is what'd it be like to scoop a handful of remains from the inside of a crematorium and try to eat it."

"Niko I am going to fucking kill myself right here in your kitchen."

She said it so dryly (as dry as the bread attempt he was currently spitting into his trash can) that he barked out a surprised laugh, nearly choking on what was left in his mouth. After a second or two she started laughing again, each exhale getting louder and louder.

"It was like trying the goddamn cinnamon challenge all over again!" She screeched and he started to laugh harder, remembering that stupid trend and how it'd gone for them when they tried it. He still had the video of it on his computer, two stupid high schoolers in atrocious 2010s fashion trying to swallow spoonfuls of spice and choking instantaneously- coughing reddish brown powder all over themselves and one another in her mother's kitchen. Her laugh increased in volume; interrupted by loud painful snorting as she tried to say something else. It came out more like the sound of a banshee choking and he had to lean on the counter to support himself as he choked on his own spit.

Her laugh had always taken him out, she'd start squawking and he'd bypass laughter and go straight to wheezing and tearing up. She flapped her hands, drawing his attention to the failed lump of bread on his counter- pointing and shrieking as it somehow deflated even further, the bottom flattening out like a punctured tire.

He guffawed (a very ugly sound, even to his own ears) at the pathetic thing and a sharp cackle bubbled out of Anna's chest at the sound. The high sharp, crack of her laughs merged with his diaphragm deep gasps and rumbly chuckles in the air of his kitchen and he briefly worried about his old as dirt neighbor rocking up to his door to bitch about the noise. He looked over at Anna as she leaned over onto the counter, grinning so big he thought her cheeks might tear as she tried to catch her breath.

Whatever. Fuck that old bag.

Nikolaj smiled back at her, not as big as her smile (no one could ever smile as big or bright as Anna did) but no less genuine or joyful, his own chest heaving as he clutched the counter corner for support.

"Niko, I'm telling you-" she straightened herself up "-I'm sticking to desserts." Her grin was still there, all teeth.

"Anna, I'm telling you," He pointed at the "bread" and smirked smugly at her, "I'm taking that thing to school tomorrow, and showing it to Ira."

"You will not show that to our meanest colleague!" She stomped her foot but her smile widened, no doubt imagining their friend's reaction to it. Ira would absolutely try it and the sharp witted woman would bring them all to their knees with the quips she'd make about it.

"Oh who knows. Maybe she'll like it! It might remind her of cigarette ash," He started and Anna let out a chuff of laughter, "You keep making that bread and bring it to her, and she'll be able to quit in no time. Wean her off with it."

"Ira'd beat you half to death with her office chair if she heard you say that!"

"I'll give her your attempt at bread, say it, then run out real quick to the infirmary so that way even if she does catch me I'll be able to get medical attention immediately."

"Wow, full proof plan. Incredible calculations." She turned to face the loaf completely, planting her hands on her hips and shaking her head, "Seriously though, the hell do we do with this? Put it out on the street, it's so bad I'm willing to chuck it to the birds. Leave my first born to the wilderness."

"Stop calling it that, also, what wilderness? This is a residential block, Anna. In a city. The wildest thing here is my neighbor."

"Oh yeah, for sure. That bitch bites I just know it. If that walking mummy gets too pissed about volume she'll snap and leave her dentures embedded in your arm. Septic bite type beat."

Nikolaj chuckled, "She'd pitch a fit if we chuck this outside, and truthfully, I don't even think the birds in this so-called wilderness will want this."

She rolled her eyes as he came to stand next to her, the both of them staring down at the halfway flat bread in amused silence. He nudged her with his hip to get her attention, "We'll try again next weekend."

She looked up at him and matched his smile, "Yeah. I'll bring my own shit again. Not using up your Grade A baking stuff to bring yet another ugly lump into this world."

[comixconnection]

Free Comic Book Day 2023

Here we are again folks, getting ready for the first Saturday in May with great books you can get your hands on FOR FREE!

The following titles will be available while supplies last! Everybody gets to pick THREE. Unlike previous years, we will NOT be accepting FOOD DONATIONS. We will however be collecting monetary donations to give to the Central Pennsylvania Food Bank if you feel inclined to donate.

We know the line for the FCBD comics can get long (if you want to come in and shop first, you can skip the line and head straight inside!) so in an effort to both entertain you while you’re in that long line and to help it go a little faster by giving you a preview of the various titles so you can decide ahead of time what looks good, the Comix Connection Counter Monkeys have read and reviewed all of the available FCBD books! Take a peek!

CHOOSE YOUR FREE COMICS:

Get set for adventure with stories from the farthest reaches of a galaxy far, far way, as well as the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender! In Star Wars: The High Republic Adventures the galaxywide conflict between the Jedi Order and the Nihil intensifies, and a shuttle full of younglings gets caught in the crossfire!  In Avatar: The Last Airbender, Aang and his friends come across a village decimated by the Fire Nation. One survivor—a young child named Luumi—refuses to open up to anyone except fellow Earth Kingdom native Toph. BRAND NEW STORIES!

[all ages]

Ahead of the highly anticipated premiere of the new Netflix animated series, return to Sky Corps Academy in this exclusive reprint of the first issue of Mech Cadet Yu. It's the perfect time to revisit this iconic story by bestselling writer Greg Pak and fan-favorite artist Takeshi Miyazawa! And if you’ve never read it before, it’s a perfect time to get in on all the fun before Netflix introduces these giant robots and the kids being trained to guide them in their war against the alien threat to a whole new audience. Wait, what’s the janitor’s son doing here? He’s not a cadet...

[all ages]

Spidey, Ghost-Spider, and Miles will face off against Green Goblin, Doc Ock, and more in this spectacular special of BRAND NEW STORIES. Filled with easy-to-read comic stories based on the hit Disney Junior show, this book is perfect for the youngest readers aged 5-7. Young fans will even be able to test their wall-crawling skills with thrilling interactive activity pages! Kids will love this not-to-be-missed comic: the perfect primer for the newest generation of Spider-Fans!

[all ages]

Get a sneak-peek at the next graphic novel in this fun spin-off series of The Baby-sitters Club, featuring Kristy's little stepsister! Karen feels like an ugly duckling. She already has to wear glasses and now her baby teeth are falling out, too. Fortunately, she knows exactly what will make her look glamorous: a new haircut. But the beauty parlor lady cuts Karen's hair all wrong! Karen is devastated and worried about what the kids at school will say. Can Karen get back to feeling like her usual confident self?

[all ages]

Dog Man and the League of Misfits is a short comic featuring the beloved characters from Dav Pilkey's #1 worldwide bestselling Dog Man and Captain Underpants series! Filled with hilarity, hijinks, and heart, this supa-epic action-packed comic features fan favorite Petey the Cat before his transformative journey began. Celebrating 25 ½ years of laughs and inspiring kids to love reading, Dog Man and the League of Misfits is featured in the Captain Underpants 25 ½ Anniversary Edition, which released on March 8, 2023.

[all ages]

Preview not one but two upcoming original Middle Grade graphic novels from DC: Clark & Lex and Fann Club: The Batman Squad! In Clark & Lex, Being the only kid with powers is tough…not being able to use them is even worse! When LuthorCorp holds a competition to find the best and brightest for a summer internship in Metropolis, Clark has no problem using his X-ray vision to cheat his way in if it means getting out of Smallville. Amazingly, Clark is not the only competitor with special abilities…just ask his newfound friend, Lex Luthor! Then, in Fann Club: Ernest Fann idolizes Batman. It might not even be much of a stretch to say he wants to model his life after him. So, with no training or superpowers, young Ernest takes on the name of Gerbilwing and decides to set up a crime fighting unit consisting entirely of his immediate friends and his dog. But things get complicated when Ernest and his friends visit a bank that happens to be in the middle of a robbery being committed by a werewolf! Will The Batman Squad taste defeat on their very first day of crime-fighting?

[all ages]

Get ready for an exclusive sneak-peek into the all-new Sweet Valley Twins: Teacher's Pet! It's Elizabeth's turn in the spotlight... but does Jessica deserve it more? Jessica knows she's the better dancer — but their teacher only seems to have eyes for her sister, Elizabeth! No matter how hard or perfectly she dances she's not getting recognized — which becomes a huge problem when it becomes clear that her sister is going to get the main role of Swanilda instead of her. Even worse, Elizabeth refuses to believe that their teacher is favoring her! With Jessica's attitude rapidly souring and Elizabeth slowly realizing that Jessica might actually be right, will they be able to find a way to get Jessica her leading role? Preview the next graphic novel adaptation of Francine Pascal's beloved Sweet Valley Twins series with Claudia Aguirre offering her fresh and modern artwork just right for today's contemporary middle-grade graphic novel.

[all ages]

Pedro Martin is an American-born Mexican kid who's always felt not quite Mexican and not quite American. Now, he and his family are piling into their Winnebago to bring his mysterious, Mexican-Revolution-era Abuelito home to live with them. This preview introduces you to the graphic novel memoir which details Pedro's road trip of a lifetime, full of laughs and heartaches, and a new understanding of his abuelito and himself.

[all ages]

How did Jack Skellington become the Pumpkin King? Explore Jack and Oogie Boogie's early days in Halloween Town and learn how their infamous friendship turns sour as they battle to become the next Pumpkin King. Discover the mastermind who's pulling the strings and relive the fantastic world of The Nightmare Before Christmas in this preview of the all-new upcoming manga adaptation!

[all ages]

Get a sneak-peek at book seven in the bestselling InvestiGators series! When a cruise captain is found drifting at sea, super-sleuths Mango and Brash begin the search for his missing ship and passengers! Did it sink? Was it boat-napped? Are supernatural forces at play? And can the InvestiGators unravel this maritime mystery before a second cruise befalls a similarly unfathomable fate?

[all ages]

In 1987, the world at large was introduced to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by way of a catchy theme song and an action-packed cartoon, shell-shocking the world into an era of Turtlemania! Since then, the characters have appeared in countless comics, a multitude of animated series, and several motion pictures. Turn the nostalg-o-meter up to 11 this FCBD and revisit two fan favorite eras of TMNT animation in comic book form with this special presentation of stories from IDW's smash-hit Saturday Morning Adventures and the recent small-screen venture Rise of the TMNT!

[all ages]

Two stories in one! Read the gag-filled adventures of four goofy residents of the Animal Crossing: New Horizons characters! Then in Kirby Manga Mania, jump into dream land with Kirby and gobble up some fun! Everyone's favorite pink puff teams up with his friends to keep arch-frenemy King Dedede in line. Fans of all ages can enjoy this sampling of a classic Kirby comic; just take a deep breath and hop on in!

[all ages]

The Last Kids on Earth are creating THEIR OWN COMIC BOOK! From worldwide bestselling author Max Brallier comes a full-color graphic novel spin-off series based on the #1 New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling Last Kids on Earth! In this preview of the series opener, Jack Sullivan, Quint Baker, June del Toro, and Dirk Savage decide to carry on the legacy of their favorite comic book character by writing the next volume in the collection. What could go wrong? Just about everything!

[all ages]

The book follows Kotto, an average Puerto Rican (parrot!) who runs an empanadilla food truck. His daily life is always an adventure, thanks to his boisterous friends. Check out their BRAND NEW STORY here!

[all ages]

2023 marks the 65th Anniversary of the Smurfs!  To celebrate their smurf-tastic anniversary, Papercutz continues to publish the hit graphic novel series THE SMURFS TALES. These stories are three times bigger than previous titles, and that means even more Smurf fun. In this preview, join Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Brainy Smurf, Hefty Smurf, and so many smurfy others for fun and adventure in the comics that inspired the cartoons, toys, Nickelodeon series and upcoming new movie.

[all ages]

The heavyweight champions of gross meet again in this all-ages title as we will pull the best stories from Madballs Vs. Garbage Pail Kids for this special FCBD comic that's sure to appeal to consumers age 5 to 50.

[all ages]

It's time to enroll in a bold new take on the Power Rangers mythology in this Free Comic Day Special! Class is in session for the start of an epic saga that is sure to delight longtime Rangers fans, and provide an excellent jumping on point for brand new readers. PREVIEW THE NEW STORY HERE!

[all ages]

The Wide Plains Fighting Tournament is finally here, and orphan Pitch will do whatever it takes to convince his idol—and possible father-fighter Sonny Han—to compete alongside him in this Free Comic Book Day sneak-peek of Zachary Sterling's upcoming shonen manga adventure Punch Up! Vol. 1.

[all ages]

Preview the very first graphic novel biography of the legendary Stan Lee, co-creator of Marvel's many superheroes including Spider-Man, Iron Man, Black Panther, Black Widow, Doctor Strange, and more, from Eisner-nominated artist Tom Scioli. I Am Stan gives Lee's life the comic book treatment and reveals the inner workings of the legendary creator.

[all ages]

Give your summer some extra thrill-power in this collection of BRAND NEW All Ages stories from the wildest comic in the universe: 2000 AD Regened! Featuring fan-favourite characters like Pandora Perfect, and starting points for new stories like Full Tilt Boogie, this issue is the perfect introduction to the incredible world of comics for rookie readers, or a gateway to a whole new array of stories and characters for comic book readers looking for their next reading adventure!

[all ages]

This issue invites readers to the groundbreaking and critically -acclaimed Marvel's Voices series, which spotlights creators and characters from across Marvel's diverse and ever-evolving universe. This includes a range of stories from previous Marvel's Voices issues, as well as A BRAND NEW ONE!

[Rating: Teen]

The story stars as Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman discover the dead body of one of their earliest enemies at the Hall of Justice. Their investigation takes them past the land of the living, beyond the land of the dead, and into a realm of nightmares. The only way to save the world is to call for the help of an unlikely hero: Deadman. This can't-miss prelude issue, also including behind-the-scenes looks at the chilling design work for this unique story, sets the stage for DC’s two-month Knight Terrors event!

[Rating: Teen]

This issue features a pair of BRAND NEW STORIES that set the stage for the next evolution in mutant adventures, FALL OF X, and introduces an uncanny new lineup for a new team book launching next year. PLUS: a preview of Jonathan Hickman and Valerio Schiti's upcoming mystery project.

[Rating: Teen]

For years, the symbiote family in the Marvel Universe has grown, and the latest smash-hit run on VENOM is no exception. With the violent and dangerous Meridius readying for war, the stage is set for catastrophe and this year's Free Comic Book Day will mark the beginning of the end of the symbiotes with the start of a BRAND NEW STORY!

[Rating: Teen]

To boldly go, join us for the exclusive prelude to IDW's FIRST Star Trek Summer Crossover Event as STAR TREK and STAR TREK: DEFIANT collide in STAR TREK: DAY OF BLOOD! But that's not all! Join the crew of STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS as they take to the holodeck, enjoying some much-needed recreational time—until a bloodthirsty visitor joins in on their games in these BRAND NEW STORIES!

[Rating: Teen]

Did you miss Animal Castle when it first debuted and captured all our hearts? Then make sure you don’t miss this preview of the start of the second volume, which also includes an excerpt from Animal Castle Vol 1 to fill you in on some of what you’ve missed! Volume Two picks up with Miss B trying to convince the animals not to give in to violence in order to put an end to Silvio's reign. But Silvio the bull dictator is trying to keep them under his hoof so he can hold onto power. Helped by his cruel canine militia, he decides to have the rebellious animals imprisoned in the dungeon. But Miss B and her friends will respond once again with trickery…and solidarity!

[Rating: Teen]

Tomorrow is a harmonious paradise thanks to the careful oversight of five families who make everything perfect…for the price of one child per household. Now, as that bill comes due, a son expected to give everything for a family that never loved him, and an affluent daughter determined to destroy utopia, must unite to end one generation's unnaturally protracted reign. Bestselling writer RICK REMENDER joins forces with the insanely talented MAX FIUMARA to take you through the dark science fiction world of THE SACRIFICERS! Get an advance look at 2023's most stunning new ongoing series with this Free Comic Book Day special!

[Rating: Teen]

Preview two new stories in one! In Choujin X, best friends Tokio and Azuma do everything together, even if most of the time it feels like Tokio is just stumbling along in Azuma's cooler, more talented footsteps. But when they're attacked one night by a superhuman mutant called a choujin, Tokio finally has a chance to shine-by turning into a choujin himself! Then in Rooster Fighter, in a world where terrifying monsters walk the earth, one heroic rooster is destined for greatness. When giant demons threaten the innocent, he's going to show them who's boss!

[Rating: Teen]

Chuck Chandler grew up under the wings of his loving parents. His father was an amazing investigator, and his mother an equally brilliant chemical engineer. While Chuck didn't have as much time with his father as he would have hoped, the skills he learned—coupled with a keen eye for mystery—have become a part of his very DNA. That's why when the Borealis attacked earth and his mother was declared missing, something just didn't sit right with him. Now, with the help of some young allies, Chuck plans to unravel the mystery by pulling on every thread. Let's just hope everything doesn't unravel before he solves it! Preview the BRAND NEW STORY here!

[Rating: Teen]

This BRAND NEW FCBD STORY leads directly into an epic new 4-part series launching June 2023! Read the first story to be set in the iconic medieval fantasy realm of Gielinor, which is home to humans, elves, dwarves, and dragonkin alike. Filled with vibrant characters, daring adventure, and mysterious magicks, the series will kick off in an epic Free Comic Book Day issue.

[Rating: Teen]

Two of the hottest new shonen manga in one sampler! The ghosts, gods, spirits, and zombies return in SHAMAN KING:FLOWERS, the sequel to the smash hit SHAMAN KING. Then, in Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun, a boy sold into the Netherworld, must survive a demon's education.

[Rating: Teen]

It's a whole new generation of World Warriors! In this issue, mixed martial artist Luke puts his special forces training to use against a group of art thieves, while sadistic kickboxer Juri faces off against graffiti ninja Kimberly! It's all out action in this official prequel to the new Street Fighter 6 video game! Pick this special one-shot up before the Street Fighter 6 4-issue miniseries, also launching in May!

[Rating: Teen]

Throughout the years, we have seen Chilling Adventures and gruesome outcomes emerge more frequently in various versions of Riverdale. As creatures gathered and teens were corrupted, the town became a hotbed for cruel and unusual events. Yet the question remains: why have Archie Andrews and his friends faced such terrifying tales? Who is responsible for creating these dark worlds, and how is babysitter Jinx Holliday at the center of it all? A story years in the making starts here in this BRAND NEW STORY! Beware the Cursed Library and all the horrors within!

[Rating: Teen]

The 50th Anniversary of Red Sonja begins here, with a BRAND NEW STORY telling the first of her all-new adventures! With a new film on the horizon, Dynamite Entertainment opens the flood gates of Red Sonja: She-Devil with a Sword!

[Rating: Teen]

From legendary SHADOWMAN creator Bob Hall, preview this BRAND NEW STORY that delves into the secret past of Valiant's premier horror character. Includes an inside look at the 2023 series X-O MANOWAR UNCONQUERED from the acclaimed writing team of Becky Cloonan and Michael W. Conrad and award-winning artist Liam Sharp!

[Rating: Teen]

In the small town of Arcadia Heights sits an abandoned house with an open door, daring anyone to enter it. Soon a ragtag band of teenage misfits will do just that...and return with a darkness the likes of which this world has never seen. Featuring an original prologue to THE DARKNESS WE BROUGHT BACK, a YA OGN from the minds of Alex Segura, Rex Ogle, and Joe Eisma, plus a BRAND NEW STORY from the critically acclaimed and much loved world of ANIMOSITY, written by series creator, Marguerite Bennett! A perfect blend of fun, suspense, adventure and intrigue, SEISMIC STORIES breaks new ground in the AfterShock FCBD tradition.

[Rating: Teen]

Welcome back to the world of Tom Holland's Fright Night! The 1985 film delivered a world full of horror, humor, and heart that captivated audiences and became an instant vampire classic. American Mythology is proud to celebrate the story of Fright Night with this incredible issue that continues the tale after the original screenplay ends and gives a first look at the brand-new Fright Night Origins series! Origins is written by Holland and delves into the official history of our favorite sweater-wearing, apple-eating vampire, Jerry Dandrige! Adapted by James Kuhoric and illustrated by legendary comics artist Neil Vokes, this new series is the perfect addition to every Fright Night fan's collection! The issue will also feature behind-the-scenes extras and artwork only available in the pages of the Free Comic Book Day special edition!

[Rating: Teen]

The newest series from New York Times bestselling and Eisner Award-winning writer/artist JEFF LEMIRE. The town of Belle River is infested with fishflies and the streets are carpeted with tiny insects…but that's just the start of the strange happenings and bad omens! When Franny Fox runs away from home, she befriends a strange, silent monster and sets off a chain of events that will unite the entire town in terrible ways. FISHFLIES #1 will clock in at an expanded 64 pages and land in stores this June-so don't miss out on this exclusive Free Comic Book Day preview issue for an early look!

[Rating: MATURE]

Presenting fan-favorites for FCBD: a squad of superpowered siblings and the infamous monster hunter! In The Umbrella Academy: Safe, Hargreeves and Abhijit embark on an interdimensional journey and find a cosmic horror that will have repercussions for our heroes and the universe. Then, in The Witcher: Frog Kiss, Geralt must uncover why the young women in Novigrad are turning into frogs!

[Rating: MATURE]

A beautiful vampire must flee monster slayers in New York City and reclaim the ancestral soil that restores her undead flesh. But the world has changed since she was reborn in the New Mexico desert, and now Constance der Abend and her loyal assistant Dooley must adapt to life in the rough frontier town of Sangre de Moro, where all sorts of monsters have settled. A western tale of survival starring a cast of literary horrors from the diabolical minds of Tim Seeley, Aaron Campbell, and Jim Terry.

[Rating: MATURE]

Preview the new ongoing series by Jim Zub, Roberto De La Torre, Jose Villarrubia here! On the eve of his first major battle, young CONAN OF CIMMERIA pictures a life beyond the borders of his homeland and yearns for a life of adventure undreamt of in his small village. Visions of future allies and unspeakable evils he will eventually encounter throughout his fabled career fill his mind as he makes the choice to take his first fateful step into the HYBORIAN AGE!

[Rating: MATURE]

An all-new adventure of Death Dealer headlines this fantastic voyage into the FrazettaVerse! The War of the Horsemen has arrived! You will also witness the rise of Dawn Attack in the far reaches of space. Then, the weirdness of Mothman unfolds in an excerpt from the limited series debuting this month! Read previews of all these BRAND NEW STORIES here!

[Rating: MATURE]

  It's a Fabulous Furry Free Comic Book Day from Fantagraphics! Fanta's new hardback series collecting the full run of Gilbert Shelton's stoner-comedy-turned-social-satire will be the first time that the globally millions-selling most popular underground comix characters have been collected in North America in over three decades. Classic cartooning, timeless comedy, and trend-setting cat comics, for semi-mature readers.

[Rating: Teen]

Before all the fantastic movies, TV shows, and video games, there were comic books (and just saying, where would Hollywood be without us?). Take a look at the world of comic book collecting through a comic book centered on that very topic! Includes contributions from Mark Wheatley (Breathtaker), Joe James (Dark Dominion), and Daniel Krall in addition to J.C. Vaughn, Brendon Fraim, and Brian Fraim (Vampire, PA). From the team that brings you The Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide comes this 48-page Free Comic Book Day special full of exclusive original material.

[all ages]

[theatricuddles]

[ID: A comic of Sanji eating at a restaurant.

A pale-skinned waitress with red hair and a blue shirt whispers to a brown-skinned chef with purple hair, saying "See, I told you," as the chef says "It's really him..."

Both of them continue peering around the corner at Sanji, Chopper and Zoro eating as the chef whispers "Blackleg Sanji! The chef of Monkey D Luffy himself, trying our food?"

As Sanji starts writing on a little notepad next to him, the chef says "Oh god. Is he writing a review?"

Shoving the waitress towards the table, the chef says "Get out there and tell me what he's saying!"

Holding a glass on her tray, the waitress smiles, sweating nervously, as she winks at the customers and asks "How is everything guys? Can I get you something else?" Sanji smiles at her and says "Everything's wonderful, thank you."

"My compliments to the chef," Sanji continues. On his notepad, he has written notes about how to cook the meal: carnaroli rice, seabeast broth (2:4.6 ratio), stirred 45 minutes low heat (counter clockwise), starch should be removed, then added back in after toasting in butter and olive oil."

Off-panel, one of the other straw hats says "Try this one too, Sanji!" as the waitress ducks back into the kitchen, nervously saying "Uh." The chef asks "Well? What did he say?!"

The waitress nervously answers "I think... I think we're being robbed??"]

New wave of piracy

[sustainableyadayadayada]

March 2025 in Review

Most frightening and/or depressing story: The U.S. might be headed for recession. Recessions happen, but this would be the first one where the U.S. government obviously and counter to all competent advice throws a monkey wrench in a perfectly healthy economy, that I know of anyway. Lest we think GDP growth is only a statistic that does not affect real people, the U.S. poverty rate among children…

[gameinfoxtbr]

Black Myth Wukong Guide

In Black Myth Wukong Guide we expect to play one of the most promising RPGs in 2024. Amazing graphic or graphic roots and engaging gameplay make Black Myth Wukong stand as a huge game that is based on the book Journey to the West written in China. To get down to business EU, whether you are a newbie or a pro, let’s review the basics of role-play games and give you more information for your future as the Monkey King. In this article, let’s look at some basic general guidelines, the basic system, and fun to dominate Black Myth Wukong. 🎮

Starting Black Myth Wukong Guide: Essential Tips for Beginners

As most of you have noticed, Black Myth Wukong has stunning locations and fights with bosses so here’s the advice for new players. Don't worry, though; below is a summary of the things you should pay attention to when you first enter this fantastical realm: 1. Master the Combat System 🏹 As it has been discovered, Black Myth Wukong is solely centered on combat. You are also likely to find that it is somewhat unpredictable with a fluctuating climate than some of the other countries. Here we have a complex fighter named Wukong, with transformation ability, spell-casting ability, and speedy staff fighting style. To effectively accomplish the gameplay in this type of fight, you need to be able to strike as well as defend, parry, and counter your opponent.

GameInfoX Pro Tip: Even during boss bouts you can always have a shot at assaulting the boss for a while. Some bosses have a strong hit point attack which hits fairly quickly but leaves them open. The best thing one can do is to strike a casting blow and do as much damage as possible. 👉 Check out the latest update and news on Black Myth Wukong 2. Use Wukong's Transformations 🐲 Black Myth Wukong being a shape-shifting character is one of the best action role-playing games that are being developed today. All of these changes are necessary for either combat or solving numerous kinds of puzzles. Would you rather slide right by your opponents or just worm your way past them? Of course, the change always means some transition is taking place! It refers to these forms to be used to counter the opposition in battle and coordinate maneuvers in the surroundings. 3. Explore the Environment 🌳 Black Myth Wukong has a very similar and completely open world and I think there is much more to explore in the game. This is the location of upgrades, new types of enemies, and bonuses in the game’s mandatory-to-explore mode. Contrary to this, just stroll, but do it intentionally, consciously with a purpose to observe all the surroundings meticulously. In general, there are often some areas that will have strong objects or skills that will help facilitate your travels considerably.

Key Features of Black Myth Wukong Guide

You must become acquainted with Black Myth Wukong's main elements if you want to succeed in the game: A. Stamina Management 💪 In warfare, it was important to sustain such a vitality level. Wukong even uses stamina to block and to perform any move in his repertoire as the case may be. When the caches are exhausted, hostile forces get a clear window through which they can wipe out the caches. There is a Stamina bar to look at, patience needed, and proper balance between healing and attacking. B. Upgrading Your Gear and Abilities 🛠️ In this game to progress in the story, a player needs to gather upgrade parts for tools or powers of your characters. Don't ignore this part! As the game advances, the abovementioned factors will act as weaponry and ability class part of game challenges and difficulty levels of later opponents. 👉 Interested in knowing more about this game? Check out Black Myth: Wukong’s features here.

GameInfoX C. Boss Battles 🐉 Yes, there will be huge super battles only those resulting from henchmen fights, and a few parts out of the game where henchmen will fight in packs. Each boss has a set of attributes, abilities, and special attacks so it is clear that to defeat each of them the player needs to use a different approach. Find out what they like to do, look at their shortcomings, and strike only when it’ll be most effective. If you think that it is too hard to manage your employer use earlier tasks, enhance your abilities or information, and attempt it once more. 👉 Check out the complete Tier List for Black Myth: Wukong

Explore Wukong Powers and Abilities

Wukong has several techniques and is capable of using magic in a general sense in several fashions. Even though they may possess huge authority, as it will be raised, it will greatly affect the battlefield. Here are a few important abilities you can acquire: - Spells of Fire and Ice 🔥❄️ Allow them to heat as basic magic to find out its rules. Ice is great for freezing or slowing a character or anything that rapidly moves or for knocking it back and Fire does area-of-effect non-elemental damage. - Form-Shifting Skills 🐦🦋 Because he can transform into other animals such as birds and even insects Wukong fights in many forms and angles out different aspects of an issue. When one wants to perform what he or she normally cannot, or when one wants to overcome what he or she cannot usually overcome, make these changes purposively. - The Ruyi Jingu Bang (Wukong’s Staff) 💥 The flail is another weapon that is the main tool of Wukong in battle and this character differs from others by his staff. It may be opened and closed to allow you to safely engage multiple antagonists at the same time, or to launch a ranged attack on your enemies. To try and increase the damage done by the staff take a few moments to use a couple of different staff talents.

Meet the Developers Behind Black Myth Wukong

This game was developed by Game Science Studio, a team of enthusiastic developers who devoted some years of manpower and research to it. What was their objective? to wrap the readers’ understanding of Chinese mythology into the cuddliest and the shiniest bow possible. The well-known heroes and mythological creatures have been carefully and fast reconstructed by the developers, expanding the specter of an action role-playing genre.

GameInfoX 👉 Want to know more about the developers? Meet the team behind Black Myth Wukong.

FAQs About Black Myth Wukong

Q-1 Can Wukong launch all his abilities right now?A-1 However, many of Wukong’s abilities are earned as one progresses through the game since the character evolves as you progress.Q-2 Is Black Myth Wukong an online game? Is Black Myth Wukong multiplayer?A-2 For now, Black Myth Wukong is developed as a single-player game that will emphasize the narrative aspects and playability.Q-3 How hard is Black Myth Wukong?A-3 Despite the high level of difficulty, especially in boss battles, every gamer should comprehend the system of fighting, so the game is suitable for everyone.Q-4 On which platform will Black Myth Wukong be released?A-4 It will come out to play on PS5, XSX, S, and PC.

Conclusion

Black Myth Wukong, distinguished by dramatic graphics, unique combat, and obvious reference to the Chinese legend, is set to become one of the best action RPGs of 2024. What makes it more fun to play this game is that exploring the area, gaining new abilities, and confronting gigantic enemies all fall into that category. Are you trying to become the Monkey King? follow Black Myth Wukong Guide💫 Words: 756 Read the full article

[grapswithgabe]

Wrestling Obsessives - Week #5: Chris Hero vs Mark Andrews - 5-29-2016 & Miu Watanabe vs Shoko Nakajima - 5-6-2024

Chris Hero vs Mark Andrews - 5-29-2016:

Even when I set my inherent biases and hate for Progress wrestling aside, I just couldn’t really get into this match. I keep my reviews pretty positive due to fact that I will always appreciate the athletic skills of the wrestlers within the match. Even with the obvious talent of Chris Hero and Mark Andrews though; this match simply didn’t grab me. Mark Andrews is an athletic but archetypical wrestler; he’s a flippy British guy whose whole thing is that he comes out to some punk rock, he likes wrestling, and he’s nice. Chris Hero is fucking awesome, his charisma makes his opponent seem like a block of wood. Even with Chris, I had my issues. I love me an athletic big man, but I wanted him to throw bombs and fucking knock Mark’s head off. It was too much grappling, counters, and athletic contests. Everything felt overly-smooth and weightless, there wasn’t anything that made me want to pay attention and really sink in. Honestly this just felt like a long TV match; no real sauce. These guys are proper athletes though; they move around the ring with ease and it’s a nice touch to have Chris rile up the crowd for Mark. This match just wasn’t for me.

Miu Watanabe vs Shoko Nakajima - 5-6-2024:

These are my two Teej goats. Miu Watanabe has it all, the charisma, the look, and the talent to back it all up. Seeing her as champ after her previous entry within this review series is a great sight to see. As alway my favorite feature of hers is the contrast between her appearance and her bruiser-powerhouse wrestling style. Shoko Nakajami is fun both in presentation and in the ring; a nice blend of mat-wrestling with a dash of lucha-libre. This match is established by the commentary team as a clash between to individuals that know each other like the back of their hands and it’s obvious with the amount of body-work and counters within this match. Targeting certain body parts is my favorite in-ring story and Miu puts her arsenal of back-breakers and submissions to good use. She essentially bends Nakajima into an upside down “U”. This match is heavily controlled by Shoko with Miu fighting from beneath her; Shoko is energetic and explosive in the ring. Her dive on the outside was fucking clean as hell. Of course I also have to mention the really fun test of strength that goes into a great monkey-flip countering sequence. The biggest moment towards the end is Miu’s massive swing. She fucking put her shit into high-gear for this one; she spins and an absurdly high speed and proceeds to dump Shoko to the edge of the ring. After a near fall and some more fun wrestling, Miu eventually makes the pin; cementing her first successful defense. Both of these women are fantastic; this match definitely shows the potential for how great Miu’s reign can be.

[marsmarvel02]

"What Manny Can't Fix" Review: Chapters 20 and 21

Welcome back and welcome again to my review of "What Manny Can't Fix" a Handy Manny fanfic that- well, if I'm reviewing it, you know it's got to be bad.

Last time, we kicked off Part 2 with a bang, a poorly-named villain, and the promise of a fight scene. Today, we discover... that the fight scene doesn't actually happen. Boo.

(And as always, if you'd like to start this review series from the beginning, Chapter 1 is here.)

Chapter 20

Wisp was looming over Carrie. “You’re making us look bad!”

“Wisp! Stop it!” Carrie whined, however he didn’t seem like was going to back down this time.

The part starting with “however” should be A. a separate sentence, B. completely rewritten.

“No!” He spat. 

Well, if the tools can spit it means that matter does in fact have a chance of returning from the eldritch void their mouths link to, so that’s good news for the universe of Handy Manny.

“Wisp!” Anne warned. “That’s enough!”

She tried to grab him, but Wisp sprayed a blast of air in Anne’s face causing her to stumble back.

Why does Anne keep Wisp around? She could easily “fire” him and just get an inanimate pneumatic wrench, and it would save a lot of trouble.

“She’s an embarrassment to battery carriers everywhere!” Wisp said. “I’m sick of her foolishness!”

Or maybe Anne is too afraid of what Wisp would do if he found out he was fired… yeah, that seems to be the likely answer.

Iron Grip slowly made his way onto the workshop table. While Anne was trying to compose herself, Wisp kept his sights on Carrie.

“You pathetic little piece of scrap metal!” He hissed. “You don’t belong in this garage, you-”

“H...hey! Leave her alone!” Iron Grip managed to spit out. 

Wisp turned around slowly, looking slightly surprised, until a grin of malice spread across his face.

“Oh? The Monkey Wrench is actually deciding to step up for once?” He asked, getting closer. 

Why is “Monkey Wrench” capitalized?

Iron Grip started shaking, and was scared he’d lose his balance. 

“Isn’t this great?” Wisp laughed. “Little Iron Grip wants to fight me.”

“F...fight!?” Iron Grip whimpered out.

“Yeah. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Wisp asked.

“N...no!” Iron Grip gulped, trying to find his braveness again. “I want you to leave Carrie alone!”

“And how are you planning on doing that?”

“Well I uh...uh…”

“Wisp!” Anne grabbed him in her hand.

Yeah, that bunch of yelling and Wisp hitting Anne with a blast of not-very-strong wind was the entire extent of this chapter’s “fight scene”. How disappointing.

“By distracting you until Anne was better!” Carrie chimed in.

“Better”? Seriously?!

At worst, being blasted by air from a pneumatic tool would be like being hit by a big gust of wind. It shouldn’t be an attack strong enough that someone would be stunned for several lines of dialogue before recovering.

How do I know? Well, in the Wood Shop class I took last year, we had an air compressor with a hose attached. It got used for its intended purpose, powering a nail gun, all of once, but the rest of the year kids treated it like a toy and blasted themselves with it for fun or to blow sawdust off themselves.

Anne glared at Wisp slightly.  “You’re in big trouble…”

Wisp twisted in Anne’s hand, trying in vain to get free. He looked over at Iron Grip and sneered slightly. “I’ll get you for this, Monkey Wrench….”

Wow, only 27 lines of text (not counting spaces and my insertions)? That’s got to be a new record for the shortest chapter in this fic.

Chapter 21

A silence fell over the garage and Iron Grip could taste the staleness of the air.

Hey Anne, I think your ventilation system’s broken down!

Anne had left the room with Wisp, so now it was him, Carrie, and a few other tools just sitting on the counter in a stunned silence. Carrie still seemed shaken up as Iron Grip approached her.

She sniffled as she looked up.

“Are...are you okay?”” Iron Grip frowned.

Carrie let out a small sigh and nuzzled against him. “Oh Iron Grip, thank you.”

“Aw it was nothing.” He said, trying to fight the blush forming on his cheeks. 

“Nothing?” She scoffed. “You stood up to Wisp! I’m so proud of you!”

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. Iron Grip didn’t even try to stop the blushing anymore, letting his whole face go red.

“Well uh...he was uh….yelling at you.” He managed to stammer out. “And I...I didn’t like that…”

Carrie nuzzled closer to him. “I love you, Iron Grip.”

“I...I love you too…” He sputtered out. 

He’d told her he’d loved her before, but now he realized how much he did love her, and how much she meant to him.

Carrie made his heart soar and made him feel bliss. She was his everything, and in that moment he realized how much he truly was in love with her.

Gosh, author, your attempts at purple prose aren’t nearly florid enough. Come back and try again once you’ve gotten yourself a decent vocabulary.

Iron Grip slowly went over to the pile of scrap metal in the back of the garage, looking for the perfect piece of metal. Nothing too rusted or dirty, but something bright and shiny.

Sun light from the upper windows shined inside, reflecting on a small piece of metal in the pile.

This is perfect!

Iron Grip gripped the piece of metal tightly in his jaw and bent the metal into a circle. She’s going to love this!

Oh boy, I can tell the next few paragraphs are going to be thrilling.

Iron Grip carefully held the bent metal and hopped onto the table Carrie was on. She was still pretty stressed out about the situation with Wisp, and was trying to calm herself.

Her eyes were shut tight until she heard the clinging of metal hitting the table. The circular piece of metal laid in front of her.

“Iron Grip?” She asked, slightly confused.

“Carrie.” He said, gently. “Will….will you marry me?”

PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Her eyes lit up and she nuzzled against him. “Yes! Of course Iron Grip!”

Oh man, this is great!

“I love you…” Iron Grip breathed out gently.

And they say jokes that you can see coming aren’t funny!

“I love you too.” Carrie said, tearing up slightly. 

I love the direction this story has taken. So much potential for mocke-

A sudden sense of trepidation has crept into my mind, along with the notion that the reason for my trepidation has to do with that one Plunker chapter I can’t remember.

Eh, I don’t feel like going back and reading it.

The two sat there embracing each other before Carrie pulled back. “Oh my gosh! We’ve got so much to do before the wedding!”

She started pacing around. “A wedding dress….Maid of Honor...Oh! And guests!”

How would a “battery carrier” wear a dress?

Iron Grip laughed a bit. “We’ll have plenty of time for planning.”

Carrie kissed his cheek again and snuggled him closer. “I’m just so happy….”

“I am too.” Iron Grip said, gently.

“Why don’t we go outside for a bit?” Carrie asked. “It’s very nice outside.”

“Okay!” Iron Grip said, excitedly.

The two of them hopped off the counter and headed out the garage door. When they were gone, Wisp popped his head out from a nearby toolbox.

Oh, so the two sweet bolts are getting married, huh? Well….I might as well make it a wedding they’ll never forget…..

Aaand CHAPTER!

(The next part of my review has now been posted!)

[whenimgoodandready]

We all reserve a second chance. Whether it’s something we did or said, a second chance let’s us know that that person learned from their mistakes and can improve with time. The Snake Miraculous let’s us accomplish that. It represents rebirth, patience, intuition, healing and being of a sinister nature. Adrien realized he wasn’t cut out for this kind of power and suggested Luka for it instead (“Desperada”). It was through this power that he also discovered our heroes identities (“Wishmaker”). However, Luka is trustworthy and can keep a secret and if this power were to be in the hands of a villain, they would win! Or would they? Let’s see:

*Intuition-You’d think with almost all the miraculouses that can make you have the high advantage such as the Tiger (“Exaltation”), Monkey (“Derision”), Monarch would be victorious to win, but instead, he failed. Well guess what!? He also has the Snake which resets time in order to try again and counter attacks, but low and behold, HE’S BEEN USING THEM THIS WHOLE F*CKING TIME AND HE STILL FAILED! Whomp! Whomp! Whomp! Ladybugs Lucky Charm power adapts to whatever situation calls for the change and that’s why Butterfly Boy kept losing! That’s the power of luck baby!😉 Wonder if he used the Snake in the other eps like “Migration”?

Nathalie says to just quit already cuz Gabes condition is getting worse (“Destruction”), spreading to his internal organs! Which will eventually lead to “you-know-what” cuz time doesn’t give his body a Second Chance using the Snake Miraculous. He can’t have his akumatized victims use it out of fear they’ll betray and use that miraculous against him and neither he nor Nathalie can use it themselves cuz both are getting weaker and weaker as time goes on and soon they’ll be joining Emilie in a Sleeping Beauty like state! If that’s the case, who’ll watch over Adrien!? His bodyguard!?🤨

Before that question could be answered by the golden boy himself, his gf calls and mentions Max’s mother, Claudie Kanté, the astronaut (“Startrain”), is gonna be testing out a new spaceship AI named Ada in space by Tomoe Tsurugi’s company and then, LIGHT BULB!💡Butterfly Boy gets idea and akumatizes the ship making them believe Claudie is dead and using their sorrow to become Bugfighter! A Transfor- Decepticon like villain that tries to defeat the dynamic duo…….from the statement I just mentioned in the beginning of the Ep, you can tell how this is gonna go, so that’s why I’m not bothering much with writing this review.

To us, we saw how Glaciator and Dark Humor were guided into avoiding defeats by the heroes with Monarch using the Snake Miraculous until “God-knows-how-many-times” he just finally threw his hands and said, “F*ck it!”. We were experiencing the effects with the heroes when those first occurred and those were actually the last attempts! How fun!😁. Ladybugs Lucky Charm power is the most brilliantly used weapon as it produces a new charm to defeat the villains instead of using the same one from last time with the Second Chance power! Wow! Impressive! It’s not just her Lucky Charm, Monarch has also tried separating the dynamic duo, but even that doesn’t make his job easier. He realized this when for that one incident, Astrocat made a Second Chance happen for himself to stop Monarch until he (Monarch) thought of something else. Why didn’t he (Astrocat) take the reconfigured miraculouses when they were just right there!? Eh! They’d probably write something to explain that. Phffft! With each Second Chance, Monarch grows weak, not cuz he doesn’t have the strength to continue to use it, but it worsens his condition which is why Nat told him to lay off. He would’ve listened had he not already succumbed to madness and desperation with every opportunity he saw that may give him a chance to accomplish his goal to bring back Emilie, but his care for his well being and logical thinking was thrown out the window ages ago! (it got to a point where after a few Second Chances, Gabe swallowed his pride and confessed to Tomoe Tsurugi, that he was slowly dying and thus needed Ada’s password to hack her for another one of his schemes….then made her forget the conversation using Second Chance. Guy’s afraid to show vulnerability over here😒) :P. Speaking of logic, when Monarch tried to guide Bugfighter into countering Cosmobugs moves, Bugfighter would question it cuz it didn’t make sense to them thus realizing they’d been duped and free themselves from akumatization (Monarch shut down the biometric sensors to lead Ada into thinking Claudie was dead even though she was inside and when Cosmobug noticed a way to convince Bugfighter that Claudie was alive, without her Lucky Charm, Monarch tried to prevent it from happening, but he couldn’t figure a way to dance around it to Bugfighter cuz why would there be a need for them to do this action if “no one” was in the ship!? Thus, realization, thus defeat, thus he f*cked himself over!). Butterfly Boy isn’t as smart as we thought he was! HA! This also means with each failed Second Chance and Monarch just giving up already, there was no actual akumatized villain this episode! (second to “Cat Blanc”) In the end, Nat tells Gabe to just quit this bad guy business again and just go have a croissant with Adrien while he still has time to be with him and be a good father which looks like he’s willing to try! (long pause and big laughter) YEAH RIGHT! I’ve been spoiled by this season! There’s no way he’s gonna go through with that! (laughter ensues).

[inseparabiles]

stealing @lucillasstrap's tags because this is important to me also;

#interesting im chewing on this im thinking….. #important aspect for me that im always curious abt other people’s opinions on is also that crucially geta is still not being nice lol #he thinks he’s helping he really believes caracalla is all the gentleness in his heart etc but the way he treats him is still fucked up! #poison drips through blah blah blah #been a moment since we’ve had a long essay post thank u for providing the enriching enclosure activities

Geta is not being nice. He wants to be. He wants to be loving and gentle, and he wants to protect his brother in ways that show that, and he does his best to touch him with silken gloves and never do harm.

All the while suffocating him entirely in his shadow. All the while denying him his own agency and authority. And Caracalla is so used to it he mostly endures it in silence, but it's a resentment that grows between them in silence - how the final word is always on Geta, how Geta will counter his orders and his judgement, because Geta always knows best.

Geta probably does always know best. I'm laughing imagining what the palace would look like if Geta wasn't toning down Caracalla's impulses. Caracalla has ZERO self-control in comparison and his judgement is notoriously poor and he is so. very. fucking. impulsive, and the only reason why he doesn't just order people to die left and right and hang their entrails for decor and fuck the wives of his guests and then come back for a detailed review Caligula style is because Geta's there to step on his toes when he gets going too hard.

But Geta is, still, in so many ways, a child. So is Caracalla. I've written on that before but they've never had the chance to grow up and especially in their own cultural context, they're whelps. And at any society's standards, from simply a psychological and developmental point of view, Geta is NOT qualified to be his brother's sole caretaker and their relationship is so very strained from the years of Geta overshadowing Caracalla at every turn regardless of his intents or the methods he prefers to apply in that dynamic.

Meanwhile, Caracalla is quite possibly far worse to him in return, and all Geta does is endure it. He's by far Caracalla's single worst enabler and I don't think he honestly sees anything wrong with it, as long as Caracalla's safe and having a good time. He'll go along with anything, and Caracalla doesn't actually face consequences for any of his actions. No matter how much he challenges Geta, Geta will never bite back. The only time he does is an accident(, not that Caracalla cares about his intent much there, between himself and Dondus. He's fucking willing to kill Geta to protect his monkey. Ffs.) The only time Geta seems to truly lose his shit at Caracalla's behaviour towards him and in general is at the banquet, the very last shot of the scene where Geta gives Caracalla such a staredown that Caracalla actually falters from his gremlin stance a little under it. But I don't think Geta ever goes beyond that - I think the worst he does in private is get short with Caracalla and then suffocates the rest of his emotions. There aren't any boundaries and there aren't any consequences, and he is very much part of the problem that makes Caracalla so dangerous to everyone around them, and particularly to himself and Geta. Which results in, when he lashes out in ways that put them directly in the way of danger, Geta has to use very degrading measures (like literally carrying him off like a petulant child) to rein him in, which... has horrible consequences for both their relationship and Caracalla's view of himself and their dynamic in general.

But he's not supposed to be his brother's parent!!!! Yet he's been that his whole life. It's not fair to him, but he's not well-adjusted, and he's not qualified for it. At all. For any of the jobs he has. Because he was never parented. By anybody. And it shows.

And this mutual resentment they have for each other, the things they never say, like you put it, are poison that drips from everything they do. They're so intertwined and so incapable of existing beyond the measure of the other, but that is strangling the life out of both of them, and they'll easily hate each other as much as they love each other when things get bad, because they have no way to exist on their own, without the other, ever. Everything in their lives is interwoven and they are constantly, always, each other's Achilles' heel.

In terms of like... how Geta actually treats Caracalla, I definitely think the enabling is his most toxic trait, the "my brother can do anything he wants no matter how fucked up it is as long as it makes him happy and I'll just act as if that isn't happening if it doesn't align with my own world view". You'll never hear him telling Caracalla no before it's much too late. Again, see the banquet scene.

And, honestly, it's this enabling and cognitive dissonance that probably makes Caracalla feel like he's being perpetually dishonest with him. He can feel the disconnect, but they can never address the issue. He'll never feel safe because something is genuinely wrong, and things that Geta seems to allow as fine are not actually fine, and it eats up at him, the lack of clear boundaries, the unpredictability of what is considered to be fine and what is suddenly not right anymore, when all of it is the same to him.

(gestures wildly about Geta)

You know??

[comixconnection]

Counter Monkey John Arminio reviews ‘Mister Miracle’ #5

Now that Entertainment Weekly has declared Mister Miracle “Best Series” in it’s 2017 comic book roundup, it seems Jack Kirby’s vaunted Fourth World has gone... mainstream? So why do I need to add my voice to the avalanche of acclaim to Tom King and Mitch Gerads’s revolutionary take on the DC universe’s greatest escape artist? Heck, why do I need to offer yet more praise to the body of work of both Tom King and Mitch Gerads, whose comics I have already gushed with prolix prose and conversation about how much I adore them? Because Mister Miracle deserves it, that’s why. It’s a book that is creating an entirely new vision of a character while paying homage to his legendary creator. It celebrates in nostalgia while making it clear that such an outlook could have a deleterious effect on our psyches if we continue to gaze backwards. It comments on the metatextual nature of Mr. Miracle and of incorporating the intellectual property of an artist and creator whose own intellectual property was frequently co-opted while he was alive, yet is, at its core, a story about love, family, and how we combat despair. The is real deal comics.

(Image from Mister Miracle #1)

What immediately separates King and Gerads’s Mister Miracle from anything Kirby did is how restricted the movements of the characters are and how they are so confined by the panels we find them in. There is no room for the hyper-exaggerated poses or trademark Kirby Krackle that made Jack Kirby’s work so distinctive and dynamic. Much of the current series in structured in a ridged panel grid system, trapping the characters in an unvarnished, harsh reality with no escape (even for an escape artist). When the grid system is abandoned for a looser page setup, the images are still frequently dominated by close-ups and faces, the depressed or angry expressions of the characters telling much of the story thanks to Gerads’s incomparable facial renderings. We as readers are as trapped with the inescapable rage and angst as these characters, contained in their emotional myopia. It’s a harrowing experience, one made all the more desperate when it’s Mister Miracle, Scott Free himself, who is the trapped individual we are reading about. The greatest escape artist is trapped in this 12-issue story arc, riding to its inevitable conclusion.

Issue #5 opens with Scott Free, in full Mister Miracle garb, standing in front of a Grauman’s Chinese Theater-esque movie house, putting his own hands in the handprints, immortalized in concrete in front of the theater, of Jack Kirby himself. Later, resting on a hill with his wife Big Barda, Scott will pontificate on the nature of existence, God, and the “I Think Therefore I Am” philosophy of Rene Descartes. We have Scott putting his hands in those of his own creator, then, while reflecting with the woman he loves more than anything in the Universe, if he even exists; if anything exists. It’s an incredibly poignant moment, made all the more powerful by the fact that Kirby created the Fourth World and the New Gods as a means to ask those questions of himself.

This collision of meta-commentary and genuine, heartfelt emotion is something I would never have expected in... any narrative. Sure, we have Deadpool breaking the fourth wall and Christopher Nolan has used some of his non-Batman films (The Prestige and Inception in particular), to comment on the process of filmmaking itself, but those examples are usually an end unto themselves and tend to lack any emotional connection to the audience. I am hard-pressed to think of such synchronicity in which a story is using the medium of its own specific storytelling to comment on the medium and the story itself, WHILE being a compelling and heartbreaking narrative all at the same time. It brings to mind Shakespeare’s “All The World’s A Stage” monologues or Dante writing The Divine Comedy about ascending to Paradise all the while banished from his native home and an enemy of his church. Fitting, that the family dynamics of Mister Miracle are downright Shakespearean and the war of the New Gods is comparable to that between Heaven and Hell.

And even with all of that lofty presentation and historicity, both in the real world and in the Fourth World, Issue #5 resonates most powerfully as a love story between a husband and wife, a couple who love and depend on one another as fully when they are playing carnival games as when they are combating the innumerable parademon legions of Apokolips. Mister Miracle and Big Barda (can I call them “Bardacle?”) are a fascinating and unique couple, especially in comics, where stable, fulfilling marriages are rare. Jack Kirby purportedly modeled their marriage after his relationship with his own wife, and it manifests with a spirit of equanimity and trust. Free and Barda fully depend upon one another when they need to, have faith in each other’s emotions and motivations, and those aspects are mined by King and Gerads and made even richer and more fulfilled in this story. This Mister Miracle series is not an all-ages book and, since the physical relationship between any married couple is an essential part of a healthy relationship, it represents the sex life of Bardacle in an honest, funny, heartwarming, and even tasteful way. The height disparity between Scott and Barda is evident but never played for laughs. Instead, it is a charming aspect of their relationship; part of what makes their marriage unique. Issue #5 allows us to explore how perfect these two New Gods are for each other and how intimate and human their marriage really is.

Of course, this being a book by Tom King and Mitch Gerads, these moments of bliss are few and far between, tragically constructed to make us feel the full, desperate force of the despair to follow. In Issue #4, Scott Free was sentenced to death by his own step brother, Orion, for daring to question his leadership abilities in the New Gods’ war against Apokolips. Thus, Issue #5 functions as a sort of “Last Night On Earth” for our illustrious couple, at least before Scott is dragged away by the denizens of New Genesis to see his sentence carried out. When this finally occurs, every scene previous becomes more powerful and poignant in retrospect; the debates about existence, the stubbornness in the face of pointless carnival games, the last time the couple would make love; it all coalesces in a beautiful statement on how these two people love each other and why. Why, amid all the fighting and pain they have experienced in their lives, they are still willing to endure anything for each other, to go to war for each other. Now, that war has come home and woe to anyone who seeks to tear them apart.

[skellebonez]

Prompt 69 with Syntax, except he's the one doing the glaring but at who, you decide!

So uh... what would have happened if MK didn’t just run in to get the sign in episode 9? What if, before grabbing it, he heard a certain voice that he recognized and went to investigate? Yeah, consider this an AU. Need a name for this one, I am accruing many now.

You see that death glare means she (he) likes you

This was... not exactly the predicament that Xiaotian expected himself to be in. At all. Not after being chased away from Spider Queen by her spider trio. He had just wanted to get Pigsy’s sign back... and he did! Eventually! 100% A+ marks on that! He just... hadn’t expected to find Macaque there as well.

Or some back with him and another... straggler.

"So... Syntax, was it?" Pigsy said roughly, earning a glower from the spider demon in turn.

They were inside Pigsy’s noodles, away from prying ears but still in their night clothes. Not that they had time to change. Not when Syntax was immediately interrogated and started explaining, and then Xiaotian had tried explaining over him, and then Macaque just. Revealed everything in one sentence. And that lead to a very tense, very uncomfortable explanation of exactly what was going on.

Xiaotian didn’t tell them Macaque was from the shadow play. Or what he did before than. Only that he was someone he knew through Sun Wukong who had tried to teach him before and wasn’t on good terms with his mentor, which wasn’t exactly a lie. And oddly, Macaque didn’t say anything either.

"Care to tell us exactly what the plan was for dealing with this "immense evil power" you were tricked into assisting at the cost of your entire clan's deaths?" Pigsy continued, brandishing his spoon he was using to make an emergency meal at him.

"Pigsy!" Tang chided with an exasperated look. "We don't know if they're dead."

"Could you maybe stop saying dead please?" Xiaotian asked quietly, curled up at a table in a corner away from the others, so quiet that the only person who seemed to have heard him was Macaque.

They wouldn’t be here having this conversation if MK hadn’t heard Macaque yelling in frustration so he supposed that was a slight victory. If Xiaotian was being honest with himself... he probably wouldn’t have told the others anything about what had happened. You can’t exactly hide a suspiciously familiar monkey and a very familiar spider when the three of you crash land on a roof together.

Going to see what was up let him free the immortal from the draining webbing he was tied up in, and had alerted Syntax to their location. If he hadn’t insisted on going back for the sign and that had not lead Syntax after them.. That would not have lead to the Spider Queen almost, almost, agreeing to work with him, and if he hadn’t grabbed the other at the Spider Queen’s insistence maybe...

“We were attempting to rebuild the mech from new years, if you must know,” Syntax answered haughtily. There was a shaking in his hands that no one pointed out, but Xiaotian could tell at least Pigsy and Macaque picked up on it from their expressions, as he did something with the gadget on his arm. Schematics, bright digital holograms, displayed in the air before them. “It would have worked, I’m positive of that! The White Bone Spirit is powerful, but not unbeatable as she is right now. Unfortunately, even if the Monkey Boy-”

“Kid, but if you’re going to call him the wrong name at least call him a man,” Tang said, a slight glower shining through his glasses.

“Monkie KID,” Syntax corrected himself tersely, returning to look at the schematics with a frown. He looked... genuinely upset as he reviewed them. “Even if he hadn’t interfered by coming for the sign my bots stole from you, we wouldn’t have had enough time or material to finish it before she found us out. It was... inevitable that something like this happen if we couldn’t convince our Queen to leave. And we couldn’t.” Syntax reached up, massaging his head as the hologram dissipated. “And we weren’t going to leave her alone. If only Huntsman had started asking questions sooner...”

At the mention of the eldest spider demon Sandy frowned, something deeply sad that Xiaotian couldn’t quite understand or parse from it. But clearly something had happened between them when he went to get the flower for his hiccups. He hadn’t hid their encounter from them, even if he didn’t tell them exactly what happened.

Syntax on the other hand went quiet, the mention of his comrade seeming to be the last thing to make him need to sit down at the counter and hold his head in his hands. “You know... he was annoying. Always trying to one up me, get the approval of our queen over me. But seeing him like that... and Goliath... they didn’t deserve that. He was good at what he did and I never got to tell him I didn’t actually hate him.”

The room went quiet after that. Xiaojiao moved to sit beside Xiaotian, wrapping her am around his shoulder. Tang stayed sat at the counter across from Syntax, watching him from the side with the barest tilt of his head. Sandy sat at a table away from the others, pulling something out his his pocket and cradling it in his hand. Pigsy continued to cook, more focused on it than he had been before.

And Macaque... Macaque stood in the middle of the room and scowled. Probably because he was so drained from the webbing that if he sat down he looked like he would pass out on the spot.

“There is... one good thing,” Xiaotian said after a moment, reaching into his jacket pocket. “Maybe? I-I was kinda distracted by the, you know. Spiders. Macaque screaming he was going to ‘send WBS to a realm even she can’t escape from when he escapes’, but I passed this room full of stuff...”

That got Syntax’s attention. “What room full of stuff?”

“It had the Trigram Furnace in it,” Xiaotian continued. “And a bunch of other stuff. Like this.” He pulled his hand back out and uncurled up on top of the table, letting his prize gently float down. Bright and golden-orange and as vibrant as the day Sandy had picked the whole thing. “I thought since Huntsman tried so hard to steal it from Sandy it might be important?”

“You stole back the Crimson Jimsonweed!?” Syntax yelled, jumping up and using his spider legs to nearly catapult himself in Xiaotian’s direction. “That... that may have been the most dangerous thing you could have done! And... and the smartest!”

“What?” Xiaotian asked deadpan, looking at the spider in confusion.

“The White Bone Spirit needs that flower petal to finish whatever she is making with the furnace!” Syntax continued, now pacing back and forth between the table, a smile slowly forming on his face. “Without it, she can’t finish it properly! She may be able to try, but there is no guarantee it would work, if she takes the chance and it does work than she will be significantly weakened by the lack of a key ingredient! She-she probably doesn’t even realize it is missing yet! YOU!” He pointed a spider leg in Sandy’s direction, making him jump in surprise. “Huntsman said you were knowledgeable of the flower’s properties, and I know there is a way to make it into a non-tea like medicine. Do you know of it?”

“Y-yes!” Sandy said after a moment of surprise. “It’s not hard to make, I could make it with what Pigsy’s got.”

“Good, make it immediately before she realizes,” Syntax continued, smirking. “She needs that petal whole and in tact. If you can break it down and make multiple small doses of medicine out of it-”

“Then she wouldn’t be able to use it because it wouldn’t be enough and what is left would be contaminated by the other ingredients!” Sandy finished, jumping up and rushing to the back of the shop. “PIGSY I’M USING YOUR SUPPLY CABINET!”

“What the hell is happening?” Pigsy asked in confusion, looking around.

“Your Monkey Man accidentally figured out the best way to mess up everything that was being planned,” Macaque said with a smirk, nodding in Xiaotian’s direction. “Gotta say, Kid, I’m impressed.”

“Wait, won’t this WBS person figure out what happened?” Xiaojiao spoke up. “She probably won’t be happy about it, she’d probably going to come after it!”

“....so we leave,” Xiaotian said, looking to everyone. “Maybe not all of us, but some of us should leave the city, stay in the forest or the desert so that if she does come back for it no one else will get hurt. Besides...” he smiled, finally, kind of sheepish. “I, uh.. think we should maybe stop squashing the city when we train. I think the neighbors are starting to get annoyed.“

“I think... that’s an excellent idea,” Pigsy said with a smile, taking his finished soup off the stove. “And you ain’t leavin me behind!”

“Or me!” Tang spoke up, turning in his chair to smile at Xiaotian as well.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE AGREEING TO BUT I’M IN!” Shouted Sandy from the back.

“And you know your girl is not getting left behind!” Xiaojiao laughed, pulling Xiaotian into a proper hug.

“Great, a whole gang,” Macaque said with a sigh, looking to the everyone before smirking in Xiaotian’s direction. “I know you’re not gonna let me just walk away, so I guess I’m stuck with you. But remember how I told you that you couldn't have too many teachers? That offer’s still open.”

“Tomorrow,” Xiaotian said firmly, more serious than his friends had ever probably heard him before. “We can start tomorrow. Real training, no tricks.”

The answer seemed to genuinely shock the immortal monkey, his un-glamored eyes wide in surprise. “Uh... ok. Tomorrow it is. No tricks.”

If everyone was confused by what they meant they didn’t say anything.

Syntax, moved back to the counter, tapping his hands and fingers against it in nervous energy. “I supposed I am stuck with you, after all my Queen said to go with you, and I can give you any information you need. Help with tech. That sort of thing.”

“As long as you don’t steal my dang sign again,” Pigsy scowled, depositing a bowl in front of the spider. He looked at it with suspicion, like he didn’t trust it to not be poisoned, much the way he looked at Pigsy in turn. “Or I’ll be the one squashin ya.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Syntax countered, his bright tone betrayed the severe lack of threat he felt at the other’s words. His glower though...

“Don’t worry about him,” Macaque said with a laugh, gesturing to Syntax. “You see that death glare means he likes you.”

“I DO NOT!” Syntax protested quickly and sharply, turning back and grabbing the bowl of soup and shoving a spoonful of noodles in his mouth before pausing. He said nothing, just looked down at the bowl before proceeding to devour it like a starving man who had been trapped on a desert island for weeks.

And for a moment everything seemed hopeful again.

It was the first time Xiaotian felt like this in a long time. He just didn’t expect it after revealing his secrets and with two of his enemies in the same room.

As they left to get on Sandy’s drone an hour later, full and ready to get more sleep after landing, Xiaotian couldn’t help but notice that Macaque stood father back from everyone else. Masked in shadow at times but still close enough for him to be seen. Syntax, on the other hand, seemed to have situated himself between Pigsy and Tang, talking to the scholar and the chef spiritedly about his recipes and the science of gastronomy (did this guy just know random stuff?). Which was weird, but at least they weren’t fighting.

Things felt... like maybe they could be alright.

[governmentintelligence]

happy birthday motherfucker <3

Here is a birthday fic!!

Words: 4910

MASTERPOST OF THE OTHER BIRTHDAY STUFF

KNOX INSPIRED ART <3 <3 <3 <3 GO LOOK AT KNOX ART

~~~~~~~~ no fun sexy linebreak sorry <//3 ~~~~~

It’s a slow mid-afternoon at Pigsy’s Noodles, home of the longest noodles.

Spirit is wiping down the outside tables, humming to themselves as they do. MK is basically laying on one of the tables, legs bent over the side as he scrolls idly through the restaurant’s email. Yes, email—the main network that nearly every business uses has gone down, citing a massive server outage.

“Ugh, no one even uses email anymore, and especially not for food orders,” MK groans.

“That’s not true!” Pigsy and MK had been going back and forth on this for about the past hour, since walk-in orders slowed. It had been almost thirty minutes before someone came in, and while this was an alarmingly slow state, it was unusual for MK to be waiting for orders to deliver rather than the other way around. “People use email for catering events! And if anyone really wants some good noodles, they know they can call in!”

Mei, leaning with her back on the counter, and Tang, sitting at his usual counter spot, share a look. These two had been ping-ponging their argument on and off since the server shut off earlier in the day. It had been demon related in one way or another, another one of Yin and Jin’s hairbrained schemes that MK interrupted before much irreversible damage was done. They’d been hoping to gain control over the city’s main set of servers, used by most mobile apps.

While they’d been swiftly defeated, it still left a remarkable amount of damage on the servers themselves, leaving most of the city’s biggest commercial apps down, including the delivery app.

“Okay, and how many call-ins have we gotten?” MK looks up, only to be met with a glare.

Tang shrugs at MK’s assertion. The argument’s been going in circles thus far; it feels only fair to try and interrupt it. “He’s not wrong. A lot of delivery’s based out of the apps. This is really why having a delivery app trust is helping to wear down independently owned businesses.”

None of us came here for a lesson in market monopolization and trusts, though, readers included. Mei groans, and MK’s arms flop over the sides of the table.

“I’m too bored for a lesson in macroeconomics,” Mei grumbles.

MK, from where his head is leaning over the table’s edge, makes a sound of agreement. Pigsy and Tang share a look, Spirit can see them through the window, before Tang leans back towards MK’s prone body.

“Hey, never too bored to become even more bored!” Tang sounded too chipper when he said it.

That got MK to look up from where he was tangling over the table, giving Tang a glare that mirrored the one Mei was sending him. Even Pigsy stopped stirring his noodle broth, turning to stare at Tang with his eyes squinted.

The silence is moreso what gets Spirit to look up, and once they see everyone staring at Tang, they stare, too. Mostly out of curiosity and partly out of confusion.

They can sense the tension, however light, from a mile away. It makes them hesitant to come back inside, but they have the dirty rags to throw into the laundry bin from cleaning the table. Then, they have to throw the laundry into the machine and change out the cycles, maybe fold the other load of dishrags and washcloths.

Having Spirit’s three extra eyes on him does get a nervous chuckle out of Tang, though. Pigsy spares him the plight of having to redirect the conversation. “I’m still goin’, til closing. It’s slow for deliveries but we’ve been getting some walk-ins and some call-ins. What if a catering order comes in, you know?”

“Aren’t catering orders supposed to come in, like, days before they want you there?” Mei hops over to the counter now, leaning over the side.

That revelation has MK leaping off of the table, landing light on his feet on its surface. Having his various Monkie Kid abilities has helped with some of the acrobatics he does, including his balance. “HANG ON, YEAH!”

He spins around, pointing at the clock on his phone while he flashed it towards Tang, Mei, and Pigsy. “Indoor seating closes soon! And Spirit just finished wiping down tables!”

Mei picks up what MK is suggesting first, throwing her arms up in excitement right back. “CAN WE GO TO THE ARCADE EARLY?”

Her voice is much too close to a shout for Spirit’s liking as they come back in and toss the towel they’re holding. It echoes around the restaurant, likely too sharp of a sound for anyone else here to hear. Mei means well, though, and Spirit knows the conversation doesn’t involve them.

Until MK says, “YES! Hey—Spirit!”

Hearing their name shouted, however friendly, gets their shoulders to hike. They turn around, expression just a tinge wary, and face MK’s excited grin head-on. “Would you want to come with us?”

Leave the restaurant? Well...it was slow. And Spirit wasn’t a cook, they were a waiter and a busser. If people were eating in the restaurant, it would make sense to have an extra hand on deck, just in case.

But right now, the only person eating in-house was Tang, and he’d gotten to the point where he was washing his own dishes when no one else was around. If Pisgy was okay with them going out….but they wouldn’t want to go to the arcade. It was loud and crowded. Many lights and many people and many machines making loud victory sounds. If they could avoid it, they would want to.

They pull at the sleeves of their shirt. It’s a plain white one, the kind that they prefer wearing to work so they don’t get any of their recognizable clothing dirtied. They only have so many sets in purple, after all, and they don’t want to get any dirty here. Plus the black and the white kind of helps to blend in.

“I don’t know. I, um….” They press their fingers together in thought, holding their hands together in front of themselves as they think.

A grunt from behind the counter drew everyone’s attention once more. Pigsy was still stirring the broth with one hand, watching the conversation over his own shoulder. “Maybe not the arcade with Spirit, you know how packed it gets at this time. All the kids getting out of school.”

There was something tender about Pigsy’s concern. Spirit smiles a little, lips pursed tight in the growing tension, and shrugs.

Mei wasn’t about to take a hard “no,” though. She nods to Pigsy’s suggestion that the arcade wasn’t the right place and then adds on, “How about the thrift mall?”

The thrift mall was a new installation of the city. A collection of thrift stores, auction houses, and antique stores all shoulder to shoulder in a multi-story shopping complex. It had just opened about a month ago and reviews were all positive. Plus, the idea of thrifting was returning to popular culture as something akin to recycling, so it would solve some of the fast designer fashion problems.

On a more personal note, too, Mei had been hankering to get a look at the place. She liked adding her own flourishes to the jacket she’d gotten MK years back, so much so that it was a thing she did to her own (to match with her best friend, duh?!) and to almost anything else she could get her hands on. Vintage patches, from the mid 2800’s, even some from as early as the 2500’s, could be found in the backs of antique stories. If she could get her hands on something from even the 2700’s, Mei would lose her marbles.

She’d been dying to go, of course, but every time she and MK were on their way, something would happen. Usually a demon would attack in some way, shape, or form, something small. Once, they made plans, and MK had completely forgotten he was on shift for delivery that day.

Things just kept misaligning, and MK very much knew how desperate Mei was to go to the thrift mall. Sure, there was the repeated asking, and now there were the current puppy dog eyes.

MK, also very much desiring to go, immediately follows suit. “Can you come to the mall with us?” he asks Spirit, bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly.

And now they were faced with two young adults giving them the saddest looks they’ve ever seen.

The thrift mall was new, yes. It was nearby the demon market, actually, and there were even some stores in the mall that were fronts to people whose names were in their book. It would likely be much quieter, no loud blaring music, no smoke machines or flashing lights.

More...agreeable, in a way.

They’re also pretty hesitant to say no to these kids looking at them like that. Not to say that that’s the only reason they’re going! They haven’t gotten a fresh new outfit, rather than clothes they wear to the noodle place or the variants of their own outfit, literally since Macaque took them to the tailor’s way back when. Clothes were just a societal necessity, not something that they cared much about anymore. Though, if they’re going to a store, it could be nice.

But, at the end of the day, how can Spirit say no to the expressions MK and Mei are giving them.

“If you would want,” Spirit answers.

They have no idea how they get themselves into it, honestly. MK and Mei both hiss a soft “YES,” slap palms, and from there, things go quite fast. They’re still in their human disguise, wary of any other humans seeing them in their monkey form, but they find that that’s for the best. Maybe when looking at clothes, though, they’ll change back. They wouldn’t consider themselves vain, but they’d like to see what looks good on both ends…?

Arriving at the thrift mall is interesting, because it isn’t the world’s most distinguishable location. Spirit lets themselves be pulled in behind the two chattering adults, Mei almost bouncing off the walls in excitement as she recognizes some of the stores.

Very immediately, too, she pulls them into a warehouse-looking location right inside the building. It’s lined with racks and racks of pants, and apparently the upper layer is meant for tops. There are many colors, many styles of clothing that Spirit hasn’t seen in fashion for years. They’re not caught up on pop culture in the slightest, but they catch sight of a band shirt that was definitely from the early 2900’s.

Another surprise is that the store is relatively empty. For a newly opened mall, you would expect crowds of people to be trying to pack into the stores, but this one’s labyrinthic nature seems to be separating the groups of people out a lot better than a regular store’s open flooring would be. Less people to run into when there is simply less road and so much more clothing to look at.

Spirit does their best to follow behind Mei and MK as they go up the stairs, into the similarly packed tops section. They weren’t really planning on buying anything, moreso just look and wistfully desire. But then Mei whips around with a purple varsity jacket, a dusty pink-purple in the middle, and whistles.

“Hey, Spirit, it’s a you jacket!” she laughs.

It does fit uncannily well with Spirit’s own color scheme. They look it over and nod slowly. “It is,” they say.

The peer pressure is on now, though, as MK leans over Mei’s shoulder. “Try it on! Let’s see if it fits!” he says.

Well, now….Spirit puts on the jacket carefully, knowing that it’s at least many decades old. It’s surprisingly sturdy and comfortable, likely from being worn by someone ages ago. It’s a little short but, in terms of width, it fits perfectly. They find that they can zip it up with room to move.

“It’s kind of soft,” they say. “I like it. I don’t know where I’d wear it, though.”

“Hey, you never know where you’d wear something until you’re going there,” Mei responds with a wave of her hand. “I don’t think through my outfits every day.”

“You don’t?” Mei looks pretty put together consistently, so that comes at a surprise.

Spirit remembers Macaque telling them that they need a serious outfit to be taken seriously, that their appearance is their first impression. They try to put a lot of thought into the things they wear whenever it’s not

Mei, however, just shrugs. “Nope! I usually just throw on a shirt and then my jacket over it.”

Interesting. And she still managed to look very cool.

Spirit follows Mei and MK through the aisles, watches as MK climbs on top of Mei’s shoulders to grab another shirt, this one with only one strap on the shoulder and a cute tie off. It looked like a very summery shirt. But it was purple, which Spirit didn’t consider MK or Mei’s colors, really.

Until he, still on Mei’s shoulders, leans towards them. “Hold up that one!” he says as he shoves the shirt into their arms.

They catch it and look over the fabric, soft and sturdy. They hold it up for MK and Mei to inspect, both humming in approval.

That was how the mall visit turned into a Spirit-centric fashion show, hosted by MK and Mei. Spirit was just along for the ride honestly, catching the articles of clothing that were just being dropped into their arms. MK and Mei were like a whirlwind, ripping out anything that looked remotely purple and showing it to the other for opinions. They murmured and schemed together, Spirit catching bits of “too rough” and “too loud” to describe some of the discarded articles.

It takes some time, but after about an hour, they’re walking around with a modest pile of clothes. Spirit thinks there’s a dress in there, even which is going to be a very interesting try. They haven’t worn many dresses.

MK and Mei were being intensely serious about this, too. They were inspecting each article before pushing it into Spirit’s hands, showing them to each other for confirmation. Most were actually hung back up, unfitting in some way or other that they weren’t privy to.

That was fine, though, because they don’t think they could have tried on everything that was purple in this warehouse. It was hour two, halfway through the bottoms section, before the tiredness began to kick in. Socializing was kind of hard, after all.

At least they weren’t having to talk for a lot of it. Mei stopped a few times to ask if they were doing okay, MK asked if they were hungry or if they all wanted to take a break, but Spirit wasn’t tired enough to want to leave just yet. And if these two were having a good time, then who were they to stop them mid-shopping.

At least the tops section went a little faster. Most pants weren’t built to handle fur, squeezing a little too tight, with the added limiting factor that MK and Mei were mostly looking for bottoms to match the tops they found.

The accessories section wasn’t as big as the tops or bottoms sections, of course, but there were still a series of wonders. The socks were in here, surprisingly. After one look at Spirit’s bare feet, though, MK and Mei only decided on one pair. They didn’t even glance the shoes section before grabbing what looked like a straw-woven fedora and pulling Spirit towards the changing rooms.

“It’s time to try on all the clothes!” MK proclaims, and Spirit kind of saw this coming, but they’re still confused.

“Why were you handing me the clothes?” they ask.

MK and Mei stop, both turning to Spirit with blank expressions. It must just now be registering that they never actually asked them if they wanted to wear the clothes, because they share a small glance before Mei goes, “Um….for a fashion show?”

Now, that’s interesting. Spirit’s not going to say no, of course not, but…. “Why?”

“Because you would look so cute in these,” Mei says. “I mean, vintage leather is all the rage now, everyone’s got one.”

She points out the purple leather jacket at the top of the pile and points to the fitting rooms. “It might be cool to have multiple sets of clothes that’re kinda, you know. Styling.”

“You’d be a fashionista,” MK adds on, pretending to swoon.

“What an icon,” Mei catches MK as he pretends to fall. “Stellar.”

They both hold pose, too, as they watch Spirit watch them.

And, come on. How can they say no to that.

Spirit gulps, then nods, almost worried. They don’t know what they’ll look good in. According to Macaque, it’s hard to find clothes that look at least acceptable, so they don’t enter the changing room with high hopes.

The outfits are all fairly modern, and Spirit wants to get the socks over and done with first. They pull on the socks, a deep purple with lilac dots, and notice that it’s a stretchy kind of fuzzy. They’re thick enough but hole-y enough to let their feet breathe in. Then, they pull on the cargo shorts, button up the purple shirt, and head on out for Mei and MK’s look.

They’re both sitting on a bench chatting outside of the fitting room, something about something on Mei’s phone. Probably another funny cat video, if we’re being honest. When Spirit walks out, though, Mei shuts off her phone at record speed.

They both “ooo” at the outfit. “Do a turn!” MK says, and Spirit obliges.

It feels comfortable. Almost summer-y in how the outfit was loose, yet contained itself in enough of a way for them to be mobile. The pants are a lot less tight than they seemed, and the whole outfit makes Spirit kind of want to climb something. Maybe a tree.

“You look so CUTE!” the exclamation catches their attention again as they notice MK clapping excitedly, Mei shaking her fists up and down, both unable to contain their excitement.

It was strange to see them so excited over Spirit’s outfit. They weren’t really expecting that kind of compliment over their appearance, especially after how quickly Macaque reminded them that they were hard to dress for.

“Really?” they ask.

MK and Mei nod their heads so fast it’s a wonder they don’t fly off.

“Hell yeah!” Mei jumps up, hopping to Spirit’s side. “I love the button down on you! The white one you wear at the noodle shop is pretty, too, but the color is,” she does a chef’s kiss motion as she hurries around Spirit for another 180 look.

“No one else is around, you could transform! We should see how it looks with all the fur,” MK suggests.

And he’s not wrong, per se. There aren’t any cameras in the changing rooms and there isn’t anyone else back here, not yet. Plus them being a monkey isn’t too big of an issue when they’re out of the restaurant. Some customers can get rude over the potential of fur in their soup and if they don’t have to change, they don’t always want to.

Spirit changes back, fur poofing out, and it surprisingly slots nicely into the spaces between the threads of sock. Their tail swishes right above their pants and their hands shake, almost in excitement, before they quell the movement.

“And it still looks awesome,” MK does a fist pump.

“Did you really have any doubt?” Mei says with a laugh, and MK shrugs.

The confidence almost washes off onto Spirit. Maybe it does, a bit, as they turn back to the changing room they’d exited.

The next outfit is one of the dresses. They’re feeling spicy, what can they say. It has a cute pink collar, a whole second layer of fuschia beneath a dress with semi-shimmering fireworks.

“You look gorgeous! Oh my god!” Mei says when she sees Spirit.

The next outfit is the one with the hat, along with a pair of jeans and the shirt with the tied off shoulder.

“I love that! The shirt looks so good on you!” is MK’s appraisal to that one.

An outfit with the purple leather biker jacket over a pair of black jeans and a pink shirt.

“You’re such a badass, so stunning!”

A dusty purple dress with white scalloped trims.

“That’s adorable, oh my—that neckline, though!”

Spiked cuffs, a choker, and a collared shirt with a smiley face design.

“You look so cool as a punk!”

Spirit was buzzing by the end of it. They hadn’t tried on this many outfits in this quick succession in a while, but every time they changed clothes, they would exit the room and do a spin for MK and Mei.

And every time, without fail, MK and Mei would applaud and compliment, which was the most surreal part. They weren’t used to that, not in the slightest, not when they were so hard to shop for. The last time, with Macaque, that must be….what, centuries by now? Absolute ages.

They’d assumed shopping would be hard, after that. But with MK and Mei’s cheering, they found it hard to be worried.

That didn’t mean they weren’t tired. They excited the changing rooms and began putting the outfits onto the rack to be taken back, when Mei hopped off the bench.

“Aw, did you not like them?” she asks.

Spirit blinks, surprised. “Um, no! They were really nice. I just, um. Don’t know where I would wear them.”

Mei blinks, as if she doesn’t really understand that sentiment. Spirit scratches the back of their neck, watching her and waiting for a response. It must be weird for her to think of that. She and MK hang out every night, once the noodle shop is closed. Mei must not understand that Spirit simply doesn’t have a place to wear them.

“Oh,” Mei hums.

It’s a fight that she doesn’t pick, it seems, and Spirit’s fine with that. MK sighs along with Mei. “Fair enough, if you don’t want them. I think Pigsy’d be okay with you wearing something flashy around, though!”

“That’s good to know,” they say, and they leave it at that.

Neither of the other two butt in, either, which is nice. Truth be told, Spirit’s not sure where they would wear the clothes, other than to the noodle shop. Plus, they don’t really know where they’d store it. Probably at Pigsy’s place. But would they want to take up even more space than they usually do? They wouldn’t want to just have stacks of it sitting by their hammock. That feels unnecessary.

They still leave the thrift mall with an air of relief and contentment. All of those outfits were really pretty. Very different, sure, but very pretty! Spirit could see themselves in them. Gosh, if Red were here, he would have been ecstatic over it. He has an eye for designs, they know.

While they’re happy to move on to the next store not having gotten anything, both MK and Mei keep glancing at them, as if worried. And they don’t really know what else to say, other than what they already have. The looks make them a little nervous, though.

At the very, very least, they spent a good four hours in that one giant store. It seems to be one of the mall’s super stores. Mei and MK bring Spirit around for a small walk at the others, coo’ing in interest at a vintage electronics store they found—Mei finds a perfect duplicate of the phone Spirit used to have, which they chuckle about. They enjoy being able to see the many emojis that everyone uses! Red’s fire emojis pack more of a punch now, as do Mei’s green hearts. They aren’t shocked at all to find that their phone’s dupe is labeled as “ultra rare,” and that it’s priced in the upper hundred thousands.

There’s also a vintage patch and accessory shop that Mei basically drags MK and Spirit into, though that’s not to say they need much convincing. She does buy a few there, too. Spirit just looks at some of the cuter ones, finding a blue skull that looks almost purple. Periwinkle, the store’s representative calls it. They think it’s cute, though they put that back, too. What need do they have for these things?

Sure, they’re pretty, and Spirit thinks it would be nice to own them. But….well. Where are they going to put it? Where are they going to wear it all? Would they have to do laundry more often? They just don’t really know, you know, and it’s not something they want to commit to.

On the ride back to the noodle shop, MK and Mei make jokes about how they should give Spirit’s old phone away to that antique store. The owner would probably lose it to see another one still functioning. Spirit just laughs along, social battery drained after many hours of working at the store and the four hours they spent at the mall. It feels nice, though. They don’t often go out for so long in such an agreeable space.

It’s a nice moment they think back on, and in their sleep, right before it overtakes them, they think of the varsity jacket. It looked a little like Mei and MK’s.

And that’s the last Spirit thinks of it.

Until a few weeks later.

It’s by closing of the shop that Mei approaches Spirit, holding something behind her back excitedly. She hadn’t been in earlier, since noon, and while MK hadn’t said anything about it, Spirit suspected something was happening. Pigsy had asked a few times, surprised to see Mei out doing something else during a time they’d’ve expected her to be taking up the seat next to Tang, and he’d been almost cagey over it. Spirit had just hoped that nothing was wrong.

But then, when Mei got to the shop, she bounded in with a whirlwind of energy right before stopping in front of Spirit. MK, too, hopped off of the chair he’d been sitting in as he listened to one of Tang’s tales.

Spirit, to their credit, was just washing dishes. And now they were, again, being bombarded with puppydog eyes from the duo.

They didn’t even say anything! They just stared at Spirit, who looked to the side at Pigsy, then at Tang, then back at the duo.

“Um, yes?” they were almost nervous now, despite the expressions, so they dried off their hands and stepped around the corner.

A package is shoved into their arms. They jump, taken aback by the sudden movement, but then look at the package. It’s just wrapped in clear plastic, so they can see exactly what it is. It’s the exact varsity jacket from the thrift shop, the purple one. But it has a special patch on the front, the blue skull they’d seen at the store.

Carefully, Spirit unwraps it. As the sleeves unfurl, Spirit notes that there are elongated white cuffs and a white trim along the bottom. Likely to make up for the space it lacks to fit Spirit’s body. Maybe other alterations were done, too, because it does seem generally bigger.

They flip it around and emblazoned on the back is a giant patch sewn on and hand-embroidered of Spirit’s face. There are two circles beneath their hair, too, in the same blue as the skull. They realize it might represent earrings, to the others. To Spirit, it represents something much different.

Spirit isn’t used to. Receiving things. They just stare at the jacket for a second, as if their brain can’t compute that this is a thing for them, with nothing attached. It was like Mei giving them an upgraded phone. But this doesn’t even have any value. This is just something that they saw that Spirit enjoyed, and then got.

“We know you didn’t know anywhere to wear the clothes, and we were throwing like, full outfits at you. But we did want to get you something, you know? No strings attached, I just wanted to get you something to fit with ours, and this one was just too perfect to leave! I loved making it,” Mei explains, hands pressing together as she watches Spirit’s face with her own wide grin.

“So, like, if you don’t want to wear it around, you don’t have to. There’s no pressure, at all! But we thought it’d be cool if you, uh. If you had the option to match,” MK jumps around, showing his own jacket. “Like you’re part of the team now!”

Part of the team.

Spirit couldn’t remember being a part of anything, not for the longest of whiles. Yet MK, the Monkey King’s whole successor, who they really shouldn’t even be talking to if you think about it, is proclaiming to be on the same team as them?

They don’t know what words there are to describe the feeling, but Spirit’s hands ball on the jacket, holding it tight against their chest. They don’t know when they started smiling but now they notice it only because it’s beginning to hurt their cheeks.

“I love it,” their voice is a whisper, almost afraid to raise it. “Thank you.”

[whirlybirdwhat]

Heyo~ I just wanted to say that your fanfics have inspired me to write my owns, they're so good!!

But my writing isn't nearly as good, do you have any advices for this starting writer? <3

oh my gosh anon !!!!!! im ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ !! im so glad they inspire you, and I wish you all the best on your writing!!! you got this, and please link them if/when you post!!!! 👀👀👀

as for advice - i got a few things!

first off, your writing is yours, and - especially in fic - there isn't necessarily a type of 'good' writing, just different skill sets! for instance, i find that my weak point is dialogue, while im great at worldbuilding + emotions. another writer might be the opposite, but it doesn't mean my writing is 'bad' and theirs is 'good' or the reverse, simply that we have different strengths! as you grow as a writer, you will find your strengths and learn to grow them, and your weak points! there is truly no standard, so don't put yourself down!!

moving on to more advice however - (EDIT: theres a tldr at the bottom because sorry, i rambled a bit!!)

1. write. it doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter when, it doesn't matter how! I have written fics on sticky notes in the middle of class (whiskey peak chapter of esom) on discord in the span of a few hours (make a choice (turncoat hero)) and in my notes apps (the ace/yamato fic i posted)!! if you learn to write anywhere you please, this will keep ideas from leaving your mind, and allow you to get into the zone that there doesn't have to be a set time to write!

2. length never matters for a fic. If 100 words is all it takes to write what you want to write, then 100 words is all it takes! don't let the general adoration for long fics to scare you off from writing, and write what you're comfortable with. I know writers who only write chapter fics, and writers who will only write one shots (then there's me, who tries to do both at once lol.)

3. when i am lost with the plot of a fic, the first thing i do is draft an outline of what i want to happen next. this is just a simple bullet point outline, in the general fashion of, say

- luffy gets a different hat post pirate king

- monkey steals hat

- luffy calls for zoro

- zoro sleeping?? sanji kicks him then fight

- the monkey is revealed as the red haired pirates monkey

- shanks shows up "miss me anchor?" party time

brief, follows a simple set of actions, perhaps one or two lines that i thought of while writing, and gives me a skeleton to follow so that when i lose myself in a fic i know where i can go next. Some people find it useful to do this at the beginning with a super detailed plot, and others never write a outline at all! it depends again on how you grow as a writer, so don't be afraid to try different things out when you approach a fic

4. stuck on a part? writer block? can't focus? get up drink a glass of water, and get back to writing! i find this helps me get refocused on writing when i am stuck, a little body 'wake up' as you will.

5. never EVER delete a scene from a fic. never. NEVER. move that scene to another doc, put it in a 'scrapped writing' folder, idc, but never delete it entirely. it helps you grow as a writer, and you can always put the scene back/reword it, etc. i cannot count on my hands how many times i have reworked a previously scrapped portion of a fic and came out the better for it!

6. having multiple wips is okay!! celebrate it even!! i always have at least five docs for five separate fics up on my computer at all times so i can shuffle between them when writing and write what im inspire for in that moment. its okay if you never make headway on one of them, as long as the ideas keep flowing

7. want to get something out quick? word wars are your friend - set a timer for 15 minutes, and write as many words as you can. this is especially fun if you have someone doing it with you, so you can compare counts at the end and share your story!!

8. writing, like all art, takes time. and, generally, there is a chance you will write faster when you first set out to write then you will later, because later, you will be more conscious of your word choices and be more deliberate and careful in your plot, rather than just churning out works. It's okay if you don't churn out 5k a day - writing is not an obligation!

9. have. fun. im serious! write what you want to write, even if it seems no one will love it or like it or want to read it - write what brings you joy, what makes you smile, even if it's something that's been done a thousand times before!! this is what fic is, for your own personal enjoyment. Additionally, do not be discouraged if there's a low amount of reviews for something you put your heart and soul. it sucks ass, yes, (i have a couple fics i love which have only gotten like, a quarter of attention of some of my other fics) but ultimately, the idea you wrote down is one you want to see in the world!! it doesn't quite matter what anyone else likes.

10. grammarly, word counter, word, etc - anything with a spellcheck is your best friend, and will generally catch things you miss if you cant find someone to proofread for you. additionally, if you want to be more critical of your fic, look for friends tto give constructive critcism, but know that you absolutely do not have to accept it from any stranger online unless you asked specifically for it.

11. fanon is fanon and popular headcanons are popular headcanons and both are absolutely not canon. you do NOT have to follow it if you do not want to.

12. read!!! i read a lot of fic, a lot of published books, and each has something i really enjoy and apply to my own fics.

13. to reiterate again just... write. write and write and write. i have over 300k posted to ao3 rn, and more in my docs. you will not improve your writing to any standard that you set for yourself unless you write!! always practice!! learn from your mistakes!! grow!!! you will improve with time, i promise, just go out and write what makes you happy anon!!

tl;dr have fun, write a lot wherever and whenever, and write for yourself before anyone else. you will improve with time as a writer the more you practice, and it doesn't ever matter how long your work is.

if you want more specific advice on formatting fic/general rules/ your first time posting, feel free to send another ask!! but for now, i wish you the best of luck anon and a very 👀👀👀👀 at your future fics!!!

[wickedmilo]

BASEBALL AND SPIDER MONKEYS | MILO & ORION  PART 1

PLACE: Orion’s house TIMING: 11:12 PM SUMMARY: Orion hosts a vampire movie night to help Milo feel better about the changes in his life WRITING PARTNER: @3starsquinn​ CONTENT WARNINGS: Some brief NSFW humour

Milo wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. Rio wasn’t the type to lie, and had been pretty clear about living in a large property alone. Maybe he was developing trust issues, because standing in the kitchen now, staring out at the expanse of space, he felt guilty for ever doubting his friend. It was a large property, a nice one too. He was glad he had somewhere decent to stay. If anybody deserved that, it was Orion. The fact that he had put himself on the line, had created such a permanent rift between himself and Dani, for the sake of keeping him safe… it was something he still considered when he allowed his mind to wander. He wasn’t sure he was ever going to be able to repay him, though showing up for movie nights felt like a pretty good place to start. He had a sneaking suspicion Orion had organised this particular watch party in an attempt to make him feel more grounded, to make him feel more at ease with his new life… or death. But he was really hoping his company had something to offer Rio in return. It must get lonely sometimes, such a big house with nobody in it. 

Turning his attention back to the popcorn as it began to pop in the microwave, he leaned heavily against the kitchen counter. The smell was already overwhelming, but he had been the one to insist. It wasn’t a movie night without popcorn, and something about the mundane routine was incredibly comforting. “So,” he said, turning briefly to Rio who was sitting beside him on the kitchen counter. “What did you say was on the list?” Still watching the timer as it continued to count down the seconds, he used his fingers to tick off the list of franchises he had been given by his friend. “Twilight, of course. But you said The Vampire Diaries, right? Specifically episode one? Did you make this list? Or did you steal it from a teenage girl’s tumblr account? Be honest with me.” 

Sitting on the counter, Orion listened to the microwave’s buzzing as the kernels slowly started to pop. For once, the sound of the microwave and the distant sound of the pool filter wasn’t the only thing to keep Rio busy. He wasn’t sure anybody had been in the house to hang out with him since Skylar had left. It was such a relief to have somebody occupying space in the kitchen with him again. Even if this was only temporary, it was worth it. For just today at least, he wouldn’t feel so alone in this house. “Stop looking like that.” Rio warned, catching his eyes as they floated around the place, “I know what you’re thinking. I’m not a real housewife or whatever those rich people shows are. All of this was purely by chance. And it’s not mine. I’m just staying here for now.” Rio smiled, but he truly didn’t want Milo thinking the wrong thing. He didn’t know why he hated the idea of people thinking this was actually his house, but something about it felt wrong. Like he was living a facade. It was partially true, but not because of this house.

“Not necessarily in that order.” Orion checked his phone for the list he had compiled. Most of the media he had never consumed himself. His parents had never been fond of their children watching such inaccurate depictions of supernatural creatures. They didn’t want Athena and Rio to get the wrong idea of what they were weak to, but more than anything else they didn’t want them romanticizing the idea of what they considered monsters. Clearly, something had gone wrong along the way with Rio. “I did my research from multiple sources.” Rio countered, not necessarily disclosing where those sources came from. “I never got to watch this stuff growing up, so I’m going in just as blind as you. But I have seen some scenes from Twilight. Personally, I think it could have been worse.” 

Milo laughed, unable to help himself. “I’m not looking like anything.” He insisted, holding up his hands in surrender. “I am, however, wondering who your sugar daddy is and how I can get in on the action.” His eyes were shining with mischief as he teased Orion. He knew his friend wouldn’t mind, and sometimes he just made it so easy. “Oh, because the order is important?” He asked, sarcasm dripping from his tone. “Trash is trash, Rio. Sometimes you just gotta sit back and enjoy it.” Pulling open the door to the microwave as the alarm began to sound, he shook the bag of popcorn before emptying it into the bowl he had ready. His fingertips burned with the heat. It was strange no longer needing to worry about that. “Multiple sources being tumblr?” He raised his eyebrows, chewing absentmindedly on a piece of popcorn. The taste was pretty close to how he remembered it, only dull, and one note. Wrinkling his nose, he took another piece for the sake of it.  

“Wait, you never got to watch vampire movies?” He had wrongly assumed Rio’s childhood largely consisted of vampire movies, and scary supernatural YA. It made sense considering what he was, what his parents were hoping he would grow up to become. Realising that may not be true was a reminder of just how much he didn’t know, just how much they still had to talk about when Orion was ready. If Orion was ready. “Wouldn’t that be like… homework for you?” He was genuinely curious to know. He hadn’t been allowed to watch much TV because his own parents had made it very clear they wanted him to study in his free time. But surely watching shows about the supernatural, learning about the supernatural, was studying for a hunter. “I guess we’re in it together then. Maybe we should start with Twilight after that glowing review.”  

“I know you’re joking and that you don’t actually think I have a sugar… dad.” Orion scrunched his nose at the thought of saying the word. He didn’t have the emotional capacity to have a relationship like that. “It was a very specific and weird order of events that led to me being here. Including but not limited to my parents sucking, invading a girl’s privacy, getting attacked by a man eating watermelon and eventually the only person I’ve ever dated and I breaking up.” He was shortening events obviously, but this provided a very small glimpse of the life that Rio never disclosed to Milo at the comic book shop. They had never talked much about personal lives there, avoiding it altogether to chat about comic books instead. “My sources prefer to remain undisclosed.” He crossed his arms and pouted, abandoning Milo in the kitchen with the popcorn to head to the living room. 

“It’s not really considered homework when it’s not accurate.” Rio spoke normally, but figured Milo would be able to hear him from where he was in the kitchen. Rio started setting up the tv to get their first pick of the night ready. “Not to say all of them are inaccurate, they all get a little bit right. But they thought it would do more harm than good.” Rio still found time to watch a few when he could. Whether it was through the movie theater or at the Scribrary when he not so formally moved in there. “Besides, vampires were never my families focus anyways.” He nodded in agreement with Milo on the movie pick and found the movie, starting it up before pausing, “Ready when you are.” 

“But am I joking though?” Milo teased, laughing at the term Orion chose to use. “You can say daddy, you know. It isn’t going to kill you.” He laughed again, surprising himself with how easily the sound escaped him. Hugging the bowl of popcorn to his chest, he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so at ease, couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so warm. “Was the specific order of events signing up to a sugar daddy website? Going on a date? And then securing a sugar daddy?” Falling silent when Rio began to elaborate, he was reminded not for the first time of just how strange his life had been. Nobody who hadn’t grown up with the supernatural could ever drop a carnivorous watermelon into the conversation as though it was on the same level as a break up. “Huh, no kidding about the complicated…” He muttered, deciding not to ask any further questions. He didn’t want to bring the mood down, but he also didn’t want to make his friend uncomfortable. There was a time and a place for serious conversation, and the start of a trashy movie marathon didn’t feel like either.  

Chewing on another piece of popcorn, he didn’t immediately follow Rio to the living room. Instead, he took the time to enjoy the moment, observing the mundane aspects of the kitchen, and appreciating them in a way he never had before. His life had been turned upside down, for a month before meeting Harsh he had spent his time between the abandoned buildings, the streets of town, and the woods. No kitchens, no bathrooms, no comfortable living space. It felt good to be back, to be grounded again. Listening to Orion as he explained why his parents had kept him away from certain shows and films, he could almost understand the logic. Not knowing whether Hunters had hearing on par with his own, he finally wandered into the living room to reply. “I guess that makes sense… though I can think of a few films that would probably help if they were trying to make you see these people as monsters. I mean basically every horror movie ever, let’s be real.” Raising his eyebrows at the mention of vampires not being the family's focus, he set the popcorn down on the coffee table. “Oh, yeah?” He asked, dropping onto the couch, making himself comfortable without any kind hesitation. Couch surfing in the years before his death had left him more than capable of relaxing in other people’s houses. “Do I want to know what your family’s focus was?” Nodding towards the screen, he let Rio know he was ready without potentially interrupting an answer to his question. There was still so much he needed to learn.  

“I really feel like it could kill me. For my own sanity I’ll just avoid saying it altogether.” Milo was saying the word daddy way too many times for Orion’s sanity. Was this what Rio had set himself up for when he stayed in Skylar’s house? Sugar daddy accusations? The idea might be a bit less shocking if normal, no strings attached sex didn’t terrify Rio to his core. He couldn’t even sleep with his ex, who he adored. He couldn’t say he was surprised when Milo didn’t ask for any elaboration. Life here was complicated. They wouldn’t actually get to watch anything if they waited around for Rio to tell his life story. 

“They had plenty of stories all on their own.” Rio remembered his parents' stories vividly. They spared no detail of the gore they had witnessed. They liked to talk about the death and destruction werewolves or fae would leave behind. Though they never spent as much time talking about what they would do to it in turn. Ironically, the ending always included some kind of heroic intervention. Their parents or their grandparents swooping in at the perfect time and serving justice. His sister used to fall for those stories every single time. Rio used to be afraid of those stories. It wasn’t until he got older that he realized exactly what he should have been afraid of. Rio pressed play on the movie and let it get started, but continued talking with Milo. “Depends on how much about the supernatural you want to know. Both of my parents came from different families of hunters. So Athena and I got to focus on two things growing up. Werewolves and Fae. But my… abilities were always focused towards werewolves.”  

Milo made a big deal about pouting in disappointment. “Is that because you’re only allowed to say it in Daddy’s company?” He asked, before raising his arms in surrender. “Okay, okay- I’ll stop now, I swear- I couldn’t resist.” His smile fading as the conversation became serious once again, he leaned back against the cushions behind him, listening intently to what Orion had to say. His own parents had been strict, and rigid. Growing up, their expectations of him had been unreasonably high, and in his opinion, put him under an unnecessary amount of stress. But they had been loving, and caring, and they had never resorted to scare tactics. He couldn’t imagine the trauma Rio might be carrying from being intentionally scared by the people who were supposed to protect him. Had they really told him stories equal to the horror movies he used to binge watch? Surely it had to be worse if they were based on the truth? On experiences they had been through?  

Laughing quietly, he reached forward again to pick up the popcorn bowl, somehow feeling more comfortable when he was holding it. The smell reminded him of watching movies with his parents, as did the action of occasionally eating some, even if the taste wasn’t quite there anymore. “I mean, it isn’t as though I can just ignore it…” He pointed out. He could bury his head in the sand, but there were too many things out there he had a feeling he should know about. Supernatural life had to be easier when you understood the full extent of the world you were living in. He wanted that to be true, at least. “Huh… so werewolves really do exist.” He muttered, more to himself than to Rio. It was something he had suspected for a while, but his friend was now the first person to confirm the fact. “Fae?” He echoed, realising he wasn’t familiar with the term. Pausing for a moment, recognising the way Orion hesitated, he chewed thoughtfully on a piece of popcorn, offering the bowl to him as though it might remind him he was in a safe environment. “So, forgetting the- you know, the bad stuff, what can you do?” He asked curiously. “You’re different, right? You told Dani you barely counted as human so… are we talking Spider-Man backflips? Or is it something else? Was one of your ancestors bitten by a radioactive werewolf?” He wanted to give Orion the chance to talk in a playful way, in a way that almost trivialised the darker aspects of his life. Rio had begun to make vampire jokes, and the relaxed environment they created helped to lift some of the weight from his shoulders. Maybe, just maybe, he could return the sentiment. 

Orion was mostly happy to ignore the beginning scenes of the movie in favor of talking with Milo. Even if the topic was his least favorite to discuss. For some reason, things with Milo just seemed easier. He could casually talk about topics he would usually avoid unless absolutely necessary. “Sorry to ruin your fun. I’m sure you wanted to find out about werewolves naturally.” Rio laughed, gesturing for the bowl of popcorn and then opening his mouth to see if Milo would try to throw it to him. “Fae are a lot more complicated. That’s a supernatural lesson for another night. But they have their own sect of hunters.” He didn’t need to overwhelm Milo with all of that knowledge. There were too many fae to describe in a single setting anyways. Not that Rio knew all of them as it was.  

Rio couldn’t but laugh at the radioactive werewolf comment. The comic humor didn’t escape him, but it was the irony of the theory that made it even better “Oh god I wish. If hunters found out they were actually descended from werewolves I think their heads would spin.” Rio might actually go back to the Silver Bullet if he got to see that. “Yeah. I guess. I have this sort of… sixth sense I guess. If a werewolf is around I can feel it.” The gift that kept on giving. He had never figured out if there was an off switch to it. He mostly just dealt with it until he went numb to the tingling sensation. “I have faster reflexes. I’m kinda strong. I heal a bit faster than normal humans. Oh and I can see in the dark.” Rio tried shrugging them off. He never liked his abilities. No matter how great they might be objectively. “I could probably do a spider-man backflip if I trained. Any more questions?” 

“Oh, no. I’ve already found out way too much without anyone to guide me through it. I’m done with finding things out on my own.” Milo assured his friend. In reality, it had been an incredibly difficult, and jarring process, but sitting here with Orion now made it more than easy to shrug off. Raising his eyebrows when he realised what he was being asked to do with the popcorn, he laughed, shifting on the sofa to give himself a better angle before aiming carefully. He so nearly missed, but with a sharp tilt of his head Rio caught the popcorn on his tongue, and he felt a ridiculous sense of accomplishment that definitely wasn’t warranted. Nodding in acceptance of Fae being too broad of a subject to cover without ruining the evening, he shelved his curiosity, ready for another night, another conversation. Offering Orion a grin when he laughed, he was genuinely proud of himself for being able to draw it out of him. He knew him well enough to understand this subject wasn’t one he was overly comfortable with. And he was not only talking about it now, but willing to joke about it. He enjoyed that.  

“The ultimate plot twist, right?” He agreed, listening to the description of a sixth sense, wondering if it felt anything like being able to sense the blood pumping through a person’s veins. There were some moments it was all he could think about, hearing their heartbeat, feeling the heat of their skin, the pulse in their neck… he swallowed, pushing away the thought before he could make himself thirsty. That wasn’t going to be productive. And it certainly wouldn’t do anything to help his case in proving to Orion he was the same person he had always been. “So kind of like Spider-Man?” He confirmed. “I was almost right.” At the mention of any more questions, he sat up straight, attempting to look as serious as he could. “Only two. Potentially the two most important questions you are ever going to be asked. Number one; are you Team Edward, or Team Jacob?” He waited for his words to register before continuing, gesturing to the screen where the Cullen’s were entering the school cafeteria. They were walking in slow motion, their skin white, and pale against the film’s dramatic colour grading, and their faces were striking, intense, so obviously intended to be sexy. “Number two;” he added, maintaining his mock sincerity. “Do I look like that now? There’s only one right answer to this question, okay? Don’t hurt my feelings.”  

Orion hadn’t exactly spoken about his history with the Scribrary. Or rather, two separate scribe buildings that he had access to now. The drama with Dani and the discovery of the hunter heritage all felt so fresh that RIo didn’t feel the need to pile on top of that with the Scribe history. But Milo might have lucked out in friendship when it came to finding someone with supernatural knowledge. Milo accommodated Rio’s request and tossed a piece of popcorn that Rio just barely managed to catch. The surprise took over, and he shot his arms up in the air in a triumphant cheer, maybe an overreaction but not one he was going to regret.  

“I’m not that lucky. My family was convinced that the powers come directly from God. So take that as you will.” Rio was glad Milo was getting such a kick out of this. It was surprisingly easy to talk about it when the conversation wasn’t so… depressing. “Basically. I’m not nearly as cool or pretty as Peter Parker though.” He had gone through a long Peter Parker phase when he was younger, for obvious reasons. Rio was ready for his follow up questions until Milo actually asked them. He rolled his eyes and groaned in response, but felt his posture relax slightly at the change of subject. “I’ve seen enough memes to know the only right answer is Bella’s dad. I mean like… look at him.” Rio pointed at the screen, even though he wasn’t actually on it at the time. His point stood. “What’s so bad about looking like that, huh? I think you’ve always sparkled to me.” Rio laughed to himself and shot an innocent smile in Milo’s direction, “You look much more alive than they do.” 

There was something so endearing about the way Rio celebrated his win, that for a few seconds following Milo found himself entirely speechless, overwhelmed by the affection he felt for his friend. “Maybe you are God.” He teased, barely putting any consideration into the joke, knowing Orion would appreciate it regardless. “Maybe you’re going to get older and suddenly inherit your omnipotence. If you don’t know what to do with your powers, please come to me. I have some pretty great ideas, you know. Tequila in every water fountain would be a good place to start...” Laughing at the mention of Peter Parker, he wasn’t sure he had met anyone who hadn’t crushed on the character at some point in their life. Sexual orientation didn’t come into play in relation to Spider-Man. “Hey, don’t put yourself down like that. You’re every bit as great as Peter Parker. I’d choose you over him any fucking day.”  

Feeling a spark of satisfaction at the reaction to his questions, his eyes were shining with mischief. He was unapologetically proud of garnering such a response. “Okay, but is Bella’s dad hotter than Jacob, is that what you’re trying to tell me here?” If he had a heartbeat, he knew he would be blushing at the comment on sparkling. It was such a stupid thing to get flustered over, but he was rarely ever the recipient of compliments. He didn’t know how to accept them. “You know…” He shifted on the couch, readjusting the popcorn bowl. “That’s probably a good thing because if you try pushing me into the sunlight it isn’t going to end well. Let me sparkle in the dark, please and thank you.” Glancing back up at the screen, he wondered if the vampires in Twilight had reflections. Surely they must, how else would they look so flawlessly put together? “I do?” He asked curiously, pressing his fingertips to one of his cheeks as though he would be able to feel what Orion was talking about, the difference in complexion, the difference in demeanour. “I guess I don’t really know what I look like anymore… it’s weird only seeing myself on my phone screen, it isn’t like I can use any natural lighting either. The whole thing is just… really fucking weird.”  

“You’re getting way too deep for me.” Orion laughed, lowering his victory arms and pull his legs up until a fetal position instead. “I’d have to get old in the first place. Hunters don’t exactly have the same life expectancy as an average human.” Sure, that was mostly due to the dangerous nature of their lives. But Rio had already decided long ago that just turning away from his hunter heritage and trying to live a normal life wasn’t enough. He had to actively try to protect the supernatural. In a way, he might be cutting his life even shorter. He was siding with people that may want to kill by going against those that would protect him. He wasn’t going to be getting much love from either side, in some cases. “I’ll make sure to keep your suggestions in mind though. In case I ever meet them.” Not that he really believed in any of that. “Now I know you’re just being nice. Everybody would choose Peter Parker.” 

With a shrug, Rio tried to defend his statement, “I’ve been spoiled on some parts of this series. There’s a lot to be left desired about Jacob. Mr. Swan seems like a nice guy. I mean he’s older than what I would be comfortable dating, but honestly I’m just not comfortable dating.” Honesty was a virtue, or so they say. Rio spent so much of his life lying that when he finally met those he could tell the truth to it seemed to all erupt at once like a volcano. “Yeah. Suddenly the night hang outs make a lot more sense.” Rio considered what Milo talked about. It was so strange, the idea that he could no longer see himself. Something that was so trivial to most people that they don’t think twice about it as they pass by a mirror and check their hair. “Sure. I mean, I’m not like… I don’t know studying your features or anything but…” Not off to a great start, “You just look like… you. The movie seems to over exaggerate the pale features and stuff like that. I don’t think you look much different. Which is nice.” Jesus, his face felt like it was on fire. He thought he had moved past this by now? 

“Hm, I don’t think anybody has ever called me ‘deep’ before.” Milo admitted, doing nothing to hide how amused he was. “I kind of like it.” His smile fading rapidly at Orion’s second comment, he suddenly found himself eyeing his friend with an open, and unguarded concern. It was a strange thing to say so casually, especially when it was clearly not intended as a joke. He hadn’t considered the life expectancy of Hunters until this moment, and he wasn’t sure it was something he really wanted to dwell on. Orion was safe, because Orion wasn’t a Hunter, right? How could you be a Hunter when you weren’t actively hunting? He wasn’t stupid enough to believe it was that simple, but for now, he was happy to convince himself otherwise. “Please do.” He said, easily falling back into their banter. “I think Tequila on tap would make the world a much greater place to be.” Offering Rio a warm smile, he needed him to see how serious he was. “Rio,” he said, his voice slow, and sincere. “I promise I would choose you. I mean, fuck Peter Parker. Come on...” Peter had a lot to offer, sure. But in his own mind Orion also had powers, Orion was just as interesting, if not more interesting because unlike Peter, he had actively saved his life. Or… unlife? He still wasn’t sure how that terminology worked.  

His smile only growing when his friend proceeded to announce just how much he really knew about the Twilight series, he couldn’t bring himself to tease him for it. Not after the reminder of how grateful he was to be in his company. “Hey, you know what? Neither am I.” He admitted, quite possibly for the first time out loud. You only had to look at his history, at the ridiculous patterns of repeated behaviour for his commitment issues to become apparent. Even he knew he had them, he wasn’t about to deny it. His childhood had been too structured, too rigid. It had left him with a determination to be free. He still wasn’t entirely sure what his definition of ‘free’ was, especially now. But he did know it didn’t include dating. “Honestly, people are probably better off without having to deal with my bullshit anyway.” He absentmindedly took a handful of popcorn from the bowl, eating the pieces one by one before speaking again. “I was always more active at night anyway.” He shrugged off his new limitations. Life didn’t feel all too different in that aspect. The days had always been reserved for sleeping off hangovers and comedowns, the only thing he really missed was working. And Tower Comics usually had late shifts on offer, so hopefully he wouldn’t have to miss it for very long.  

Pausing for a moment, hand halfway back to the popcorn, he realised Orion was observing him, carefully taking him in. It made him feel strangely exposed, but not uncomfortable like he might have assumed. There was something about his friend that made him feel so at ease, he couldn’t explain it even if he wanted to. He could only hope the sentiment was shared between them. The relief he felt when he was assured he still looked like himself was unexpected, until the words escaped Rio he had been entirely convinced it didn’t matter, he didn’t care. There was something so grounding about realising his appearance hadn’t changed. It was only further validation of the fact that he was still Milo, regardless of what Dani believed. Regardless of what Hunters and Slayers were taught about his kind. A half smile tugging at his lips, he didn’t hide how vulnerable he felt, because he didn’t want to hide how vulnerable he felt. He wanted to be honest, Rio deserved that much from him. “Thank you.” He murmured, his voice barely louder than a whisper. It didn’t take very long for him to push his vulnerability to the side though, because it became all too easy to make a joke as the blood rushed to Rio’s face. He believed Rio when he said he was over his crush, but he was always going to enjoy watching him blush. “You know, blushing in front of a vampire kind of makes you look like a snack.” He grinned, hoping his play on words would be obvious, and Rio would realise he was paying him a compliment.  

“Do you want me to repeat it again so you can hear it more?” Orion laughed, resting his chin on his knees and shifting his tone to an only partially faked form of admiration, “Wow, Milo. You’re just soooo deep. I’ve never met anyone as intellectual as you.” Rio grinned after finishing, leaning back against the arm of the chair, “Hope that helped.” Despite the joking nature of the conversation, Milo seemed all too sincere when doubling down that Rio was better than Peter Parker. As absurd as that sounded, Rio couldn’t help but be a bit flattered. More than that though, he felt embarrassed by the compliment. One that he didn’t exactly know how to reply to. He was always terrible at accepting compliments. Instead, he switched guys. “Right. Well you should be careful who you promise stuff to. It’s a whole fae thing, I’ll explain later. But just be mindful of words like that to people.” Rio had learned the hard way just how dangerous a promise could be in the wrong hands. “But uh… thanks.” 

Rio didn’t know how to respond to Milo. Rio wasn’t good at relationships, though maybe for different reasons than Milo. He didn’t know how to tell Milo that he didn’t seem like a hassle at all without it sounding like Rio was trying to date him. He shrugged the question off instead, choosing instead to show minor interest in the movie again until Milo mentioned being more active at night. “Yeah, I guess I sort of am too. I get the most done at night.” Less distractions to worry about, he figured. 

Having his red face pointed out to him probably made Rio blush even harder. At the very least, it made his cheeks light on fire. “A joke about eating me? That’s just in poor taste.” Rio couldn’t even pretend to be serious, not with his giggling and the smile that wouldn’t leave his face. If compliments made him so awkward, how come he also couldn’t stop grinning? “Most people think I’m one missed meal away from snapping in half. This town thinks I’m like a saltine cracker or something. Just waiting to be stepped on and crumble.” Was that how Rio avoided dealing with the possibility that the vampire had just called him cute? Definitely. 

“Obviously.” Milo countered quickly, tilting his chin in an attempt to look proud, and smug, as Orion elaborated on his intelligence. “Thank you, thank you.” He teased. “I don’t try at all, you know? It just comes to me naturally.” Quickly dissolving into laughter, he caught his friends eye, joining him in sinking back down into the cushions. “Oh, it did.” He assured Rio. “I appreciate the confidence boost.” A frown creasing his brow as he listened curiously to the warning, he hadn’t forgotten their unwritten agreement to put off the difficult conversations, to keep things light-hearted, and fun, and deal with the real world at another time. But he had a burning desire to know more, to understand. He felt as though he had been living in the dark, metaphorically, of course, for far too long now. Orion had become his light. “Okay, how about swearing? If I swear to choose you over Peter Parker, is that going to put me in danger?” He asked, genuinely wanting to know. “Hm, you don’t need to thank me, you dork. Thank Parker for being lamer than you are.” He nudged him with his shoulder, encouraging him to smile. “Who knew that was possible, huh?”  

Dropping his head back against the cushions behind him, he turned his attention to the film as Orion insisted he was also a night owl. He kind of figured, given how they had reconnected, but it was a nice detail, one he was very happy to know. With every day that passed he could feel them trusting each other more, getting closer, and more comfortable with being who they were. What they were. He used to have that with Dani… not so much now. And he was so, so grateful he wasn’t alone. Laughing again, even harder this time, he couldn’t help himself. The situation was so ridiculous, so beyond funny that he had to laugh. If he didn’t laugh he would cry, or go insane, whichever came first. “Oh really?” He demanded, his eyes shining as he looked back at his friend. “You started it with the whole pointing out my lungs don’t work for shit, so… do you know how rude it is to tell someone they’re dead? How do you think Edward would feel?” Humming quietly, making his amusement abundantly clear, he chewed on another piece of popcorn. “Yeah, well, the joke’s on them because Saltine Crackers taste fucking great. Hey look,” he feigned surprise, wondering if he could elicit another blush. “Another joke about eating you.”  

Orion had to appreciate Milo’s commitment to this Peter Parker debate. He wasn’t Rio’s favorite character by any means, but he was one of the most popular characters in probably all of comics. Being compared to and even rated above him was a surprisingly good feeling. “Swearing is tricky too. Though I guess not for a statement like that.” Unless there were any real Peter Parker’s in the world whose life came in danger soon. “It’s best to avoid any potentially binding statements like that. Just to be safe.” Rio needed to take his own advice. It was pathetic how easily he fell into Lydia’s grasp when he had grown up with two wardens constantly warning him of the dangers of fae. “Well I’m going to make sure my headstone reads that I was less lame than Peter Parker. Probably my biggest accomplishment in life.” 

It was so nice not sitting on the couch by himself like he normally did every night. Even if they were watching a movie that Rio didn’t particularly care for. Things could be a lot worse. Right now with Milo things seemed pretty okay. Good even. “That’s old news now, you can’t use that against me!” It didn’t matter that it was barely a week old, Rio just wanted the spotlight off of him again. “I’d like to think that he would have a sense of humor about it.” He paused, glancing at the screen and trying to think of more than once in the entire movie so far that he had actually smiled, “Actually, never mind. Point taken.” Oh god. Did Milo just making another joke about eating Rio? Far past the vampire reference, this made Rio heat up even further. He dug his forehead into his raised knees and curled up into a ball so Milo couldn’t get the satisfaction of seeing his face. “No fair. You’re doing this on purpose!” Rio yelled, the sound slightly muffled from pressing against his jeans. 

“Hm, okay.” Milo agreed, nodding as he took in what Orion was telling him. Until the real conversations, until they could sit down and talk about everything he didn’t know, he was going to hold onto the snippets of information he was given. He was smart enough to understand if Rio was telling him now, on their supposed night off from the world of the supernatural, then it was important. “No binding statements, got it. I stand by what I said though.” He added, grinning at his friend. “Only slightly less lame, but, you know... it’s enough.” He didn’t want to imagine any gravestone for Rio, the idea of mortality versus immortality was something he had strictly refused to let himself think about, but he had to admit the thought of the tagline was amusing. “You’re not going to top that, so you may as well give up now.” He teased, catching Rio’s eye and feeling an undeniable rush of affection. He needed this, a reminder that all hope wasn’t lost. There were things, and people, worth living for.  

Laughing at the response to the previous joke being dragged back to the present, he shook his head, allowing himself to focus on the now. He got lost in his own head far too often, and he didn’t want to miss a second of this night with Orion. “Nope, that so isn’t how it works.” He insisted. “I think you’ll find I can, and I will.” Laughing again as they both turned to watch Edward on screen, the vampire’s mouth a thin, straight line, his body filled with obvious tension, he couldn’t remember laughing this hard since his death. He couldn’t remember feeling so normal. Who knew Twilight was going to be his saviour? Only tearing his gaze away from the screen to watch Rio hide his face, he playfully reached out to tug at his arms. “Doing what on purpose?” He asked, his innocence very obviously disingenuous. “Doing what? I don’t understand, Rio. My mind is pure, and innocent, and virtuous. I’m only trying to compliment you.”  

“I’ll take what I can get. Slightly less lame is just fine.” Orion laughed, revelling in this moment. Where all that seemed to matter was Milo, Peter Parker and the sounds of twilight distant in the background. It was a good moment. “Clearly I’ve peaked in life. No reason to go on from here.” It had been so, so long since he had been able to laugh like that. It almost made him sad, thinking about how lonely he had felt lately. But he pushed aside that butterfly in his stomach. Good vibes only tonight. 

Rio wasn’t going to budge as Milo pulled at his arms, refusing to give him a win on this. A small bit of light shone through as his leg shifted and he peaked up to meet Milo’s eye, “I don’t believe you.” Rio pouted, readjusting to shut his leg again. “I don’t think you’re pure, innocent or virtuous.” Eventually, Rio had to end the facade and lifted his head back up. He feigned annoyance, narrowing his eyes at his guest and crossing his arms. “You know if you had ‘complimented me’ like that like a year ago I probably would have melted to the floor right?” He used his fingers to make air quotes. They both knew that was true. Until Rio met Winston and started dating them, Milo was one of the small list of pretty guys that Rio could barely form words around. Another being Ricky and Adam. Thankfully, that had passed. Or Rio sure hoped that it had. The redness in his face seemed to be arguing against that. “Don’t you have a movie to watch? Notes to take? Like about baseball and spider monkeys?”  

“Good.” Milo teased. “I would hate for you to be disappointed.” Laughing at Orion’s comment, he gestured to where they were sitting. “I mean, you’re sitting on a couch watching Twilight with a vampire. You’ve definitely peaked.” Picking up a piece of popcorn and throwing it lazily at his friend, he rolled his eyes, splitting his attention between their conversation and the movie. “That doesn’t mean you get to tap out though, asshole, so you can quit with no reason to go on. When I say give up I mean spend your life getting high, and eating pizza. Because we both know those are two excellent motivators for staying alive.” His laughter only coming more easily to him as Rio refused to budge, he eventually let go of his arms, allowing him re-emerge from the darkness in his own time.  

“Excuse me, I am all three of those things.” He countered, pretending to be offended by the apparent lack of faith. “But I guess I can forgive you, I’m a complicated person, so difficult to understand.” He was being overly dramatic for the sake of it, but wasn’t that what was so great about this night? They could be young, and dumb, and make stupid jokes. They could shut away the outside world and pretend the only thing that mattered were their ridiculous attempts at humour, and the emotionless, super hot vampires on the television screen. “Yeah, I know, I’m sad I didn’t realise at the time.” He grinned mischievously. “Although maybe that would have driven you away and then where would you have bought your comics from?” Shoving Rio gently when he told him he should be taking notes, the popcorn bowl spilled over, but he paid no attention to the scattered pieces. He would clean them up when necessary, but the whole point of right now was being free, living in the moment. “Yeah? Maybe we should try out for the same team. You’re every bit as weird as I am, you know? With your X-Men Hunter mutation bullshit. We’re in this together now.” He did nothing to hide how much the closing statement meant to him, allowing the warmth of his words to remind him he was cared for, and protected. They both were. 

“That’s what you call peaking, huh?” Orion laughed sarcastically, “I’d love to say I have higher standards. Clearly that’s not true.” And it wasn’t. His two best friends now were a werewolf and a vampire. It was like something out of a dream. Or maybe one of his parent’s nightmares. The majority of his friend group was supernaturally inclined in some way. Whether that be spellcasters or one of the supernatural beings his parents tried and failed to raise him to despise. Rio plucked the piece of popcorn from the couch that Milo so rudely launched at him and popped it in his mouth. “I don’t smoke though, so that’s already one reason eliminated. I do love pizza though.” Rio glanced up at the ceiling to consider that prospect. Pizza did sound pretty appealing. Actually, pizza sounded good right now. “Hmm, maybe we should order a pizza.” 

“Not right now, you aren’t.” Rio refused to give him anything while he teased him for the crush Rio had before the two were legitimate friends. It felt like a lifetime ago admittedly, though in reality it had probably been less than a year. Rio had a habit of developing feelings like that for just about every pretty guy that spoke nice words to him. At least until Rio moved in with Ricky and Winston and Rio practically fell in love with Winston instead. Rio hadn’t felt anything quite like that since Winston left town. “Don’t be. I wouldn’t have known how to date back then even if I had the opportunity.” He barely figured out how to date Winston, and that had been an entire saga on its own, “And don’t smile at me like that!” Though he detested the idea of being compared to a hunter, he understood Milo’s sentiment and at least appreciated that he veiled it with comic book references, “I’m only going to take that as a compliment because you compared me to the X-Men. But absolutely not. No sports for me.” 

“I’m offended by the implication of you settling for my company.” Milo teased. “But I’ll choose to let that slide because I’m comfortable and I don’t want to waste my energy on a dramatic exit.” Laughing quietly when Rio ate the popcorn he had dropped, he carefully contemplated the suggestion of pizza. It was another food he hadn’t tried since becoming a vampire. If his experiences with eating and drinking were anything to go on, it would be nowhere near as enjoyable as it used to be. But wasn’t that what you were supposed to do? You ate popcorn until you were genuinely hungry, and then you decided to order takeout. The familiarity of the routine was too strong for him to say no. “Want to order after Twilight?” He asked, glancing back towards the screen. They had to be reaching the middle of the film, they might even be two thirds of the way through. “Heads up, though. If you put garlic on it, then you’re going to end up on the menu.” 

His smile only growing as Orion continued to insist he wasn’t pure, innocent, or virtuous, he finally abandoned his claims. “Maybe not.” He admitted, content to give in now that he had pushed back just a little. He had to at least remain indignant if he was going to accept defeat. Forgetting the makeshift disagreement, he settled further down into the cushions, pulling his legs up beneath him, listening to his friend explain he wouldn’t have known how to date. It was hardly surprising, given what he had come to know about Orion’s quiet, and gentle nature. But if he was being honest, he hadn’t either. Hell, he still didn’t know how to date. They had met just under a year ago, but it was clear a lot had changed for both of them over such a short period of time. “Screw you, I’m allowed to smile at you!” He countered, his tone petulant, but filled with affection. “And yeah, I knew the X-Men talk would do it, you’re very predictable, you know?” 

“Well I’m offended by your attacks on me tonight. And for using my old crush against me to tease me. Both are very rude.” Orion hummed matter-of-factly, “So we can both be offended together. But only one of us gets the dramatic exit at the end.” He didn’t get many relationships like this. Teasing and comfort didn’t come naturally to him. It was hard to find his groove in a conversation when he had to spend so much of it planning ahead and second guessing every single word both before and after it came out of his mouth. Normally, he spent just as much time stumbling through a sentence as he did actually speaking. It usually took a lot of time and a lot of effort and patience on the other parties side to crack through some of that anxiety. Even then, he had only really achieved that sense of ease with a few people. Ariana, Blanche, Winston and Skylar were the first that came to mind. Now Milo too. It was comforting knowing that there were at least some people in town he could be his unfiltered self around. “You don’t have to ask me twice.” Rio shook his head passionately, the idea of pizza far too good to pass up. “Oh ha ha. Very funny. No garlic crust for us apparently.” 

A yawn escaped Rio, and he stretched before readjusting on the couch to lay on his bed across it. He kept his knees bent and his head propped on the arm so he could still look over at Milo. “But I like you anyways” Rio reassured the vampire and gave him a thumbs up from his new position on the couch. “You’re allowed to smile at me. Just not like that.” Rio was still joking, but it had definitely been different than the other grins the two had exchanged. Rio didn’t have the energy to try to discern why it felt so different. Besides, he didn’t want to ruin the mood. He kept shifting his view between the movie and Milo. “Being predictable is exactly the vibe I’m going for. Nonthreatening, predictable, totally normal non-hunter Rio.” 

“This is your house, moron, so obviously I get the dramatic exit.” Milo pointed out, very pleased they were in something together, even if the comment had been trivial, and light-hearted. It felt good to be side by side with Orion. He knew, to a certain extent, they really were in this together. In everything together. His friendship with Rio was quickly becoming his main source of support, and he couldn’t imagine it any other way. “You don’t need to tell me, I know I’m hilarious.” He added, watching as his friend stretched lazily, curling up on the sofa in a way that stupidly made him want to find a blanket, fetch him a hot chocolate, and make sure he was comfortable. He looked so innocent, it would be impossible to know all of the terrible things he had seen in his life. The struggles he had to face on a daily basis. Turning his attention back to the film, he couldn’t say anything particularly interesting had happened, but he had to admit he had thoroughly enjoyed the viewing experience. Despite not knowing what like that meant, he hummed quietly in response. “Sure, whatever.” A quiet laugh managed to escape him as he made a start on what was left of the popcorn. “I don’t know about labels, but whoever you are, I like you very much. I appreciate your vibes, you know.” He was only half teasing, needing Rio to know he genuinely enjoyed his company, that moments like these meant more to him than he could ever possibly say.  

Keeping his gaze fixed on the screen, he didn’t want to embarrass Orion further, even if he was desperate to see his reaction to the admission, so he fell back into a comfortable silence, patiently allowing the end of the story play out. Simultaneously, it felt as though it was over in minutes, and took hours to finally draw to a close, but as the credits began to roll, accompanied by a tacky love song he embarrassingly recognised, he turned back to Orion, ready to ask him whether he still wanted pizza. It didn’t take him long to realise his friend definitely wasn’t hungry, though, and he stared, almost in shock, as Orion slept soundly on the cushions beside him. It wasn’t as though he was surprised he was tired, or surprised he had been lulled to sleep by what he could only assume was a vampire satire. It was the fact that he had fallen asleep next to him. Next to a vampire. Dani had made it perfectly clear he couldn’t be trusted, that nobody should be left alone with him. And although he knew Orion didn’t agree with her, being alone with somebody fully conscious was very different to being alone with them and unaware. Being alone with them and vulnerable. Biting down on his bottom lip, repressing a smile, he shrugged off his hoodie without jostling the couch, carefully draping it over Orion’s form. He could try and find a blanket, but wandering his house without his permission felt too much like a violation, so hopefully the item of clothing would suffice. He didn’t need to sleep, he didn’t need to rest in the same way Orion did, but as he settled back down again, unable to tear his gaze away, he realised he was in a position to protect. To care for somebody he was fairly certain wasn’t used to being cared for. “Night, Rio… I’ll be here when you wake up.”