#couldnt get this song out of my head ever since daniel came back

[fullg4sly]

"the rabbits are chasing, Ricciardo is racing." — goal of the century, gang of youths

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

a poem for small things

by Admin 1 & 2

The time has come, the first proper post for this segment we’ve settled on calling a poem for small things, a nod toward BWL and its Korean title. Like we said in our call for submission post, this is supposed to be something like a place full of positivity for vminnies (and perhaps the occasional namjinist) where you (and us) can share whatever we’d like in connection to vmin, both as vmin and as Jimin and Tae the individuals, and have something to raise our mood and also strengthen our vminnie confidence. We’ve gotten several wonderful submissions and quickly realized that for this first post the theme is mostly how I became a vminnie, even if three submissions talk more about vmin moments they enjoy instead.

I think it’s a really interesting theme, especially since everyone’s story is different, and everyone seems to find something else about vmin that captured their attention and hearts so sharing these memories and experiences is a great way to start off this segment. We’ve said it many times before, though I don’t think you can say it enough times, but this bond that Jimin and Tae share is truly special and so one of a kind, it’s wonderful to see how we all relate to and resonate with it in our own way and find something in it that makes us fall in love with their loves, regardless if we see it as platonic or romantic love. Love is love after all. 95z is love.

For the order of these submissions, we’ll simply go in the order in which we’ve received them. Most of them came from anons, which is more than okay. We’ve also opened the possibility of submitting posts for those who would like to submit wordier posts/asks, should we do another edition of this. It all depends on how much you’ll enjoy it and if you’ll come through with more submissions that could be gathered for future posts.

Anyway, enough talking from our side, let’s dive into these submissions below the cut, shall we? Like we said in the original post (and demonstrated in the preview post), we’ll add some of our commentary and observations along the way, too.

From anon: This is going to be long winded story but Vmin is like a Serendipity to me. I've heard of BTS mainly from my hubby when he complains that times sq is packed because of BTS (when they’re in town and doing their rounds of morning shows). I knew they were very popular but it was a great surprise that i discovered them after watching ILand during lockdown. Their songs were great and i started playing their classics like Fire, DNA Fake Love etc. Then they did an appearance in the show...

I love how you heard about BTS because of your husband and Time Square being packed, this is honestly the most original and unique version of how I’ve come across BTS I’ve read over the years. Amazing!

I was drawn to Taehyung's beauty during their appearance in Iland. And my first Vmin ? moment was when Tae commented about being handsome and attractive are 2 things and being attractive weighs more - along those lines... then JM made a comment that its unfair that he's both and Tae was like Im talking about you... I went like ok he thinks JM is attractive- theyre good friends.... then Jimin did the FakeLove choreo and the camera focused on Tae and he had this wide smile...The Iland Tae/Jimin clips made me do a double take but I dismissed it since it was just only a few seconds worth of screen time but still...

I-Land vmin was really something else in both episodes. 

Fun fact: I-Land was the first Korean survival show I’ve ever watched, mostly because it had something to do with BH and since it was streamed online with subs in real time. Unfortunately, my faves—Daniel and Taki—didn’t make it into ENHYPEN, though I’m happy that Taki will be in a future Japanese BH group.

But, going back to vmin, that moment with Jimin dancing FAKE LOVE and Tae looking at him with that boxy smile as though Jimin hung the stars in the sky? I melted, even if it was just one of those brief moments, yet still it’s so cute! And it was all over sns being shared by vminnies and non-vminnies alike. What a great time that was.

Then VMAs Dynamite perf happened- both Vmin looking good. I saw a lot of their promos especially the Jimmy Fallon interviews... and I noticed in hindsight how JF was so careful when referring to Jimin ... Since Tae was my first bias, I searched YT for Tae related content eventually saw in my YT feed Vmin moments. Theres a lot of Vmin content in YT or maybe the T*ek*ok ones didnt really register as extraordinary to me. But defo the Vmin moments were extraordinary to me,,,the BV4 sleeping together, kitchen role play & BV3 JM excited to see Tae and them holding hands and then Tae crying and then Tae's busking with Jimin cheering him on were all amazing to see. Up to this day this specific YT vid stood out to me first 

I actually went to check what video this is, and also looked at the comments where my favorite was this one: The staff member went straight to Jimin to tell him V was crying. That's all you need to know. They’re not wrong with that one, are they? That is pretty telling. BV3 vmin were a work of wonder, truly. Jimin watching Tae sing that Sam Smith song during the dinner in the sky looking all soft and endlessly fond?

Jimin encouraging Tae to busk and gently petting his hair was just such a pure moment and showed how much Jimin appreciates Tae and the talent he has, how in moments when Tae might brush aside wanting to do something, is a little hesitant and unsure, Jimin will stand up for him and give him strength/encouragement, which reminds me of Tae’s vlive in April 2020 and the fact that Jimin had told him that he wants to be his source of strength. Beautiful. And it shows that it wasn’t just pretty yet empty words, but something he truly meant. They both do.

Then i came across vid trans of Friends & cried first time hearing it especially when it got to the part "One day when the cheer dies down, stay hey.." It felt raw and honest to me. Then there's MOT:E concert and that part in Dynamite where they bumped their heads seemed bizaare to me - i was like were they fighting? because JM looked really fierce(or maybe emotional) then i saw the close up. i couldnt remember the exact moment I became a Vminie but it made quarantine easier...

This, I’ve noticed, seems to be a recurring theme among quarantine ARMY and vminnies, the fact that becoming ARMY and vminnies made it easier, and it fits with what we’ve been saying about BTS for years: they will find you when you’ll need them most. And in these trying and uncertain times, it’s certainly proven true once again.

Thank you of much for your submission and sharing your story with us, and I’m glad they could make quarantine a little easier for you.

From anon: I've been following BTS on and off since BST, but only really consider myself a true fan late 2019. I can't recall having a bias at first, but I was captivated by Jimin's everything when I binge-watched all their content. I must admit, my first OTP is T*e/k*ok, where I fell down the route of considering Jimin 'an interfering 3rd party' in their relationship, and it shamed me. Since then I've been cycling through Jimin ships, namely yo*n/m*n, j*n/m*n, m*ni/m*ni, and I even thought that j*/k*ok was real at some point. Strangely, Vmin never struck me as something extraordinary. I don't want to blame anyone, but Vmin caught my eye after I watched official BTS content without filter (presumed bias/judgement) all in their glory. I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant. That's what makes me love Vmin, and for the first time in my fandom life, I have no qualms about whether they are real or not. Their bond, whatever it is, is already precious and something to be cherished forever. Thank you for providing us vminies a special corner to speak up about our experience 💜

You’re very welcome! I hope you’ll like how this turned out as well. Thank you for sharing your story with us and personally I find it fascinating how, despite Jimin being the one who captivated you most at first, you still fell into the “he’s an interference for my ship” trap that’s quite popular with that particular ship. I’m glad though that that never ruined your love for Jimin. It’s also really interesting for me how you went through different Jimin ships yet it took you the longest time to notice vmin. I feel like, because vmin and vminnies are more “low key” than the other bigger and louder ships, as well as Tae and Jimin simply being quieter in their interactions (not always but you get the point) as compared to, for example, Jimin’s interactions with Hobi, Jungkook, or even Namjoon, it takes people a while to really notice them.

This is my favorite part of what you wrote, and I think it’s a great way to describe vmin in general and what makes them different from other ships in the grand scheme of things: I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant.

From vminot7: So i fell into BTS hole after watching blood sweat and tears mv casually on youtube. Jimin immediately stole my attention with his unique voice, graceful moves and handsome features even though i didn’t know their names at that time. I watched more MVs and jimin continued to hold my attention but i was also extremely drawn to taehyung's voice and facial expressions. So i started looking for more content such as RUN BTS and other compilations and realized my love for all 7 of them. I also noticed how jimin always had a soft spot for taehyung and was curious about their dynamics. I started looking at more of vmin content and i was really surprised to see how in the early days they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now. I think they have a unique bond and i have never come across anything quite similar. Now vmin are both my biases and my bias wrecker is hoseok.

I admire jimin for being a hardworking, passionate perfectionist but also a caring soul who is always ready to offer love and comfort to people in need. I love taehyung for how he looks at the world in his unique ways and how he has a childlike awe for things and how he is so passionate over the things he loves. The thing i love about vmin together is how they are so different yet work so hard on their relationship when it would be easier to just not try that hard.

Ah, another mention of the queen that is Blood, Sweat and Tears. The MV truly is such a masterpiece so I’m not surprised that it caught your attention, and especially Jimin since he was…something else in that MV, or like Tae said, his eyes were temptation (this boy, I swear). Since you mentioned how in the first years they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now, I think watching their dynamic and relationship change and evolve over time showcases the one thing I think a lot of people (as well as movies and TV shows) forget or gloss over, despite it being so incredibly important: in order to make a relationship of any kind work, especially in order for it to grow as deep and strong as the one between all members and especially vmin, you need to put in the emotional work to make that happen. You have to make an effort, have to learn to understand the other person and teach them to understand you as well, learn to appreciate and love their little quirks and how to accept others. And it’s so clear that that’s what vmin did, continue to do, and it more than paid off in the long run. I’m glad you highlighted that in general but also as something you love about them.

While the overall bond between the members is a class of its own, I think especially what vmin have achieved is a whole masterclass in relationships and fostering strong ones, in and of itself. There is a lot I think we can learn from them and I’m so happy that people recognize how special they are.

Thank you so much for your submission!

From anon: There’s this small moments in Dear Class of 2020 that i just adore! I’ve watched it at least 20 times this past month

It starts with “Spring Day”- tae and jimin laugh and look at each other and it’s just so sweet!

Also, maybe it’s my delusional mind but after tae’s and jin’s small and adorable moment- it seemed that jimin did the same with junkook right after maybe out of i duuno if jealousy but like “pay attention to me too” kinda way- dont know really and maybe it’s me being extra🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree partially, in that Jimin watched Tae’s and Seokjin’s adorable moment, obviously must’ve thought of it as cute just like we did, and thought he could do the same with JK. I don’t think it had anything to do with jealousy, especially if we work off of the idea that vmin are a thing, but also because it’s a performance and these things primarily serve the purpose of being cute and entertaining use, in other words, it’s fanservice (which isn’t the evil word some portray it as). Also, within that same performance, Tae and Jimin actually sang some of the lyrics toward each other, therefore they, too, had a cute moment they shared with big smiles and everything, just like you mentioned.

But we’ve gotten to see much more of Tae’s friendship with Seokjin in 2020, and especially the second half, so it was really sweet to see them interact during that song. Their friendship and dynamic is really a beautiful one, just like JKs bond with Seokjin, which I feel we’ve also gotten to see more of in recent months. Part of me (and that part can very well be wrong) feels that perhaps once the members caught on to Seokjin feeling the way he said he did/does, they decided to give him an extra dose of love and affection, off camera but also on where we can see it. That isn’t to say that they didn’t show him any of that before, but maybe they increased the intensity a little, a reminder that Seokjin truly is loved, that he deserves all of this, that it’s just his imposter syndrome (or at least what sounds like it) lying to him.

I’m still so touched and moved by the fact that he trusted us enough to share his feelings with us, to gift us Abyss and how it came to be, and that Bang PD was on his side and coaxed him into pouring his feelings into music, even if it would be “bad”, that the fear of it potentially being “bad” shouldn’t hold him back (and Namjoon helping in even if just a tiny bit with the lyrics). It was one of those times where I feel like we were all reminded that regardless of our opinions of BH and their doings, the members are surrounded by kind people who have their best interest in mind. After all what’s good for Bangtan is also good for the company, a win-win for everyone.

…wow, okay, I kind of went off on a tangent, I’m sorry…

Either way , then we have “Mikrokosmos” where we have a sweet moment at their part and towards the end where they switch mic and hear each other

I love this performance overall and especially “spring day”- jin’s and j-hope’s lovely voices and of course tae’s!! This song fits them so well and all the members of course

Well this is my rent , i love your blog and always wait for another post! Also i love the new idea and look forward to it!

Thank you so much for your submission and for bringing up their Dear Class 2020 performance. It was a truly magical one, and after reading this the first time, I did go and watch it again. To this day I’d still very much like to know how and when and why the mic switch between vmin happened, and I kind of hope that we might get a Bangtan B*mb or EPISODE about this eventually and it might shine some light on that question. Overall it was one of my favorite performances on 2020.

From Sky: While I enjoy cute, physical moments with VMIN, I really do value how emotionally attached they are to each other. For example (I don’t know if it fits as vmin moment but), I love how Jimin asked V to take the Promise cover photo, and how he ended up putting V’s name for credits on the cover. (Special Thanks to V, Best Photographer) This really shows a lot. Coz he can easily choose any Bighit photographer to take it. He could have chosen JK because we know how he takes good pics and vids too (and also apparently alot of people say that vmin had a falling out and that Jimin and JK were much more closer, lol). Or he could’ve asked Suga too bec he’s into cameras too. But he didn’t. He chose V, and chose to shout it out to the world how thankful he is for V’s help. RM co-wrote Promise, and maybe had offered more help in this project, but he didn’t put it in the cover. I’m not saying Jimin is ungrateful for not crediting RM in the cover. The difference is that he and RM had a vlive regarding the making of this song, a lot of people already know RM’s participation, he was officially credited as co-writer and Jimin really showed how thankful he is to RM. But no one knows of V’s participation (except for a snippet in that Run ep), so Jimin felt the need to tell it to everyone. I’m sure it’s not only the photos, I think he wanted to acknowledge how V helped him through the process, whether directly or indirectly. Also, remember this is Jimin’s first non-album solo single. By putting V’s name in it, he is sharing this very special song with his soulmate. How endearing it is! V also included Jimin in his first full English song. He used the two bears given by Jimin as Winter Bear’s cover photo and he included the photo Jimin took (sleeping V in the plane) in the MV. Like, seriously, they are trying to consciously imprint each other in their life’s milestones, openly or subtly. I’m crying. 😭

This was lovely, and yes, Jimin could’ve asked whoever to take those pictures, could’ve chosen any other ones, and yet he wanted Tae to be the one to take them, wanted those specific ones as covers. It’s very sweet and creates this subtle connection between Jimin, the song, and Tae. Sure, it isn’t the first time a picture Tae took is the cover for a SoundCloud song (the picture of JK on the 2U cover was also taken by Tae if I remember correctly), but it’s the fact that Promise is Jimin’s first non-BTS song, his first solo release, that makes it that much more special. Even more so when you think about how meaningful that song is to Jimin, and by having Tae as cover picture photographer, he’s in a way forever attached memory wise to that song as well, right?

The same also goes with Winter Bear and the two ceramic bears. Remember how excited Tae looked when I kinda spoiled that gift being a thing happening in an upcoming RUN episode during Jimin’s vlive during the summer 2019? Adorable. It’s also curious how though the title is singular—winter bear not winter bears—there’s two ceramic bears. One for Tae, one for Jimin? Maybe, or maybe I’m reading too much into it. Either way, it’s really cute, and it was a very thoughtful gift, even more when we think about just how much Jimin loves that song.

From anon: Love this idea it's super cute!! 1st thing that came to my mind is a rather simple moment, jimin bopping taehyung's nose and making a lil game out of it

Taehyung asking for more and that dazed smile 🥺 he had the same expression in that concert when jimin placed his face just above him, tae's smile afterward... it was so pure u could almost read "love" in his eyes lol

What a lovely note to end this post at, thank you for that. I don’t know what got into them during that photoshoot for Season’s Greetings 2020 but this was so disarmingly adorable. I remember when that moment appeared all over every sns and everyone just melted, myself included. Their smiles, the cute clothes, Tae’s head on Jimin’s chest, the softness and innocence of it, just all of it. It truly was so pure and like this sweet visualization of ‘love’.

And with that, we’ve reached the end. Did you like this? I had a great time reading your submissions and adding my little comments to them. If you’d like for us to continue this, same rules as last time, send in a submission marked with “VMC” and once we’ll have enough of them gathered, we’ll do this again, if you’re interested in more, that is. Send in whatever positive vmin you have, a thought, a moment, a memory, whatever you’d like.

Thank you once again to everyone who participated! :)

[jonahlovescoffee]

Night Changes | J.M.

a/n this fanfic is inspired by one direction’s hit song with the same title. u can also listen to jonah’s cover of the same song here.This is the first complete fanfic I’ve ever written in my entire pathetic life and it has been rotting away in my files app for a while now lol u can see how insecure i was (and am) to put this out here but here it is anyways :’) any constructive criticism is appreciated <3 happy reading!!

summary: the death of his friend’s girlfriend made Jonah realize that nothing in life is permanent, including you.

warnings: mentions of death

word count: 2136

“We're only getting older, baby; And I've been thinking about it lately; Does it ever drive you crazy; Just how fast the night changes?”

It was yet another ordinary weekend night where Jonah and his band were gathered in the little studio of Daniel’s home, busy composing new music for their upcoming album without a care in the world when Corbyn’s phone rang all of a sudden.

Corbyn’s eyebrows raised in surprise when he saw the caller ID on the screen before sliding the answer button to the right and excusing himself from the small room to take the call. No one thought much about it and proceeded with their songwriting process. However, when half an hour passed with Corbyn’s absence, that was when Jonah’s gut feeling told him that something wasn’t right. He brushed that thought off as quick as it entered his mind, trying his best to ignore the fact that he caught a glimpse of the caller ID and it was his girlfriend’s mother calling him, which was undeniably weird. As his roommate and best friend, Jonah could confirm that she had never called Corbyn unless there was an emergency. Heck, the last time she called him was when her car broke down somewhere in downtown LA and Corbyn was the only one she knew who lived close enough to pick her up.

His suspicion was soon proven right when Corbyn barged into the room seconds later with tears running down his cheeks nonstop like a river. Daniel, who was seated the closest to the door jumped up in shock just as Corbyn fell into his arms and started sobbing. The other boys made their ways to them as Daniel patted Corbyn’s back in attempt to calm him down.

“What’s wrong?” Zach asked curiously and Jack elbowed him on the arm. “Ow, what was that for?” Zach exclaimed, earning a glare from the other male that clearly said, “Can’t you wait until he stops crying to pry for answers?”

“She killed herself,” Corbyn managed to say between sobs.

“Who?” Daniel asked softly.

“My girlfriend,” the 4 boys’ breaths hitched in utter shock. None of them were expecting this news in forever. Madeline was the most cheerful and optimistic girl Jonah had ever met. She brought sunlight and joy into every room she entered. Were those traits of hers merely a mask to hide all the despair and anxiety underneath? It didn’t make any sense whatsoever.

“My sweetheart killed herself,” Corbyn repeated, mostly to himself with a hint of disbelief in his tone. It was evident that he was still having a hard time letting the fact sink in. “We just went out for dinner last night and now she’s gone. Forever. She didn’t even say goodbye. What should I do? How can I live without her?”

“She should’ve said something. I could’ve done so much to help her instead of letting her die just like that. I saw the scars on her hand last night but I assumed it was nothing serious. It’s my fault. I could’ve stepped in and save her but I didn’t. Why? Why?!” Corbyn screamed and tugged at his hair frustratedly.

Silence ensued, the only sound being Corbyn’s uncontrollable sobs. No one said anything because they knew that no words were powerful enough to comfort him for the time being. The most they could do was be there for him.

#

Jonah pulled up in your driveway in the middle of the night. He left his house right away after ensuring that Corbyn was sound asleep in his room in fear of his best friend trying anything stupid under the influence of tremendous grief. He knew that you were probably asleep at this hour and he should’ve waited until the morning to pay you a visit but he couldn’t wait any longer. Madeline’s death had made him realise that nothing in life lasts forever and he wanted—no, needed—to be by your side tonight to make up for the past few days of neglecting you because of work.

After some debating in his head whether to wake you up from your deep slumber like an ignorant boyfriend or just turn around and go home, he turned off the engine and rushed out of his car and onto your doorstep before he could change his mind. He used the same key you gave him months ago to unlock the front door and was then greeted by a silent pitch black, empty living room. He locked the door with a soft click behind him before tiptoeing up the stairs and entering your room. He made sure to keep his movements as silent as possible as he knew better than anyone that you were a terribly light sleeper and could be awoken easily by the softest sounds. He took off his shoes and joined you on the king-sized bed, wrapping his arms around your sleeping figure gently to pull you closer to him. He contentedly nuzzled your hair, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo that smelled like cherry blossoms and spring air. It was only then he felt truly at ease, with you perfectly safe and sound in his arms.

As he half expected, you stirred from your sleep, wiggling your body slightly before turning towards him, your arms habitually made their way around his neck even in your half-awake state. You couldnt help but smile when you felt him tightening his arms around you like he was holding onto you for dear life. “Hey, love,” you mumbled groggily, staring up at him with droopy eyelids in your pyjamas that had bunny patterns all over them that you were more than embarrassed to be seen in by anyone but you could care less since Jonah had been your boyfriend long enough to know about your preference for childish pyjamas over mature flimsy nightgowns. “What brings you here?”

“Just wanna see you,” he replied with a smile. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear and took a moment to drink in your beauty—the crinkle by your eyes when you smile, you supple lips and the freckles on your cheeks that were illuminated by the soft moonlight that shone through the windows—all ordinary features of yours that you had never been particularly fond of but were all made perfect in his eyes. He was lucky to have the chance of calling you his, but Madeline’s unexpected death that night made him wonder how long this could last? Without realising, he let his mind drift further into the sea of uncertainties of the future, getting more anxious by the second, especially when he was met with the thought of ever losing you one day.

“Jo, are you okay?” You asked worriedly when you noticed his tense expression. He offered you a meek smile in return. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” he replied, but his furrowed brows claimed otherwise.

“You’re not fooling anyone with that face, dear. What’s wrong?” You watched him stay silent for a while as if he was trying to come up with a suitable answer to your question.

”I just...can I stay over tonight with you?” He asked and you let out a hum in agreement, your hands rubbing soothing patterns down his back. Even after all this time, he still hadn’t managed to get rid of the old habit of asking for your permission to spend the night at your place although he knew that you would agree without hesitation every single time he did so. You wanted nothing more than to find out what was going on in his head at that moment but he didn’t look like he was in the mood to talk, so you pushed your questions aside for later.

Both of you stayed like that for who knew how long, unmoving, limbs tangled with each other’s as the cool night breeze wafted into the room through the opened windows. “Madeline died,” he said out of the blue, breaking the silence. Shock was an understatement to what you felt. You couldn’t believe your ears. You weren’t exactly best friends with Madeline but still close enough to hang out together occasionally when both of you were free from your hectic schedules, mainly because Jonah and her used to have a thing for each other back in high school before she got with Corbyn so there had always been a tinge of awkwardness between you two. Yet this news hit you hard all the same.

Tears welled up in your eyes before you knew it. “When?”

“Few hours ago,” Jonah answered, his hand stroking your hair with the utmost gentleness, which prompted your tears to resume falling. He let you cry it all out without a single complaint about your tears staining his shirt. “She took her own life.”

“Why?” You sniffled and he shook his head. “No one knows; I guess even the most optimistic person on earth has her invisible demons too,” he said with a sigh.

“Is that the reason why you came here tonight?” You wiped your tears away with the long sleeves of your shirt as you took several deep breaths to recompose yourself, bracing yourself for his answer. Old feelings die hard, that was what you always hear people said, especially your first love. Part of you were scared that Jonah still harboured feelings for her even after all this years and you were nothing but an emotional support rebound tonight.

“Yes and no. I came here after hearing about the news, yes, but I’m not here to mourn about her, for now,” he added the last two words hastily in case you get the wrong idea and thought that he was being rude. You were ashamed for feeling extremely relieved that his answer wasn’t what you expected. “I came here to make up for the past few days of absence and make sure that you’re alright. Have you ever, you know, done that?”

It took you few seconds to get what he meant. “Of course not, Jo. I promise you, I never tried self-harm before, and I never will,” you replied truthfully.

“Thank god,” he sighed with relief and planted a tender kiss on your forehead, “I don’t know what I’d do if you said yes.”

“You know that you’ll be the first one I talk to if I have anything bothering me, right?” You took his hand in yours while staring at him expectantly for an answer but none came. “Jonah, please don’t tell me that you seriously think that I’m someone who resorts to harming myself when the going gets tough?”

“I...I don’t know,” he admitted sheepishly which earned a sigh from you, a small smile tugging at your lips. You still couldn’t believe how this man in front of you—a confident rising boyband star—could get so worked up over a plain girl like you. He swallowed thickly before continuing, “Today made me question everything I know like how long this relationship can last—how long we’ll get to stay us until the world decides to tear us apart. We always said we’ll be together until the end of times but so did Corbyn and Madeline and look at them now. Madeline just....left without a word to anyone. I know it’s stupid but I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you and now I’m being such a sap and you probably are disgusted —”

“Jonah, stop. You’re over-thinking everything. I’m not disgusted at you, not even one bit,” you raised a hand to his cheek and traced a thumb over it tenderly, knowing that this simple gesture never failed to soothe his raging emotions. “It’s normal to feel this way, love. But whenever you do, please remember this: there’s nothing to be afraid of because I love you so much, Jonah Marais Roth Frantzich, that I can never ever think of hurting myself because I know that that’ll hurt you; I love you so much that I started crying a little less, smiling a little more because I know that no matter how hard my day is, I’ll always have you to come home to.”

You watched as a tear escaped from him. “I don’t know what the future holds but I can promise you this,” you locked your eyes with his, your gaze filled with the utmost love and adoration in contrast with his worried one. “No matter how fast the night changes, it’ll never change me and you.”

“You promise?” His lips curled upwards into a small smile as he leaned in, leaving only an inch between your lips, your breaths mingling with each other’s. As always, butterflies erupted in your stomach at the close proximity as you mirrored his expression with a sweet smile of your own.

“Forever and always,” you breathed and he closed the distance between your lips, sealing the promise.

[swiss-cheeze]

Up || Daniel Webber x reader

Bold = lyrics

Italic = memories

Song - Up from Sing Street

Warnings: talk of physical abuse.

———

It's two o'clock on the edge of the morning

She's running magical circles around my head

I hitch a ride on a dream she's driving

“Stop going so fast love!” Daniel said with a laugh as his hair whipped into his face, the roof of the convertible had gone down ages ago but the pair where on a very clear free way with the speed at 100 and no cars in sight.

“Oh come on Daniel! Let loose!” you yelled to the boy over the wind sloshing across your ears and your hair whipping everywhere above you.

“Not when we’re about to DIE” Daniel said jokingly with a laugh as he gripped the car door, you hit the actors chest and gave him a stern ‘come on pussy’ look, Daniel simply rolled his eyes at you before leaning over to the radio and turned up Kickstart My Heart and pumped his hands into the air with the bass. You yelped and whooped and sang as loud and as high as you could.

She turns to kiss me, I crash back into bed

Daniel awoke with a start, his hair stuck to his sweaty forehead and his sheets stuck to his chest as the rest of him was drenched in sweat, his breathing was heavy and the room was thick and musty; this was not ideal.

Across the street on a grayed out Monday

I see the girl with the eyes I can't describe

And suddenly it's a perfect Sunday

And everything is more real than life

Daniel stood from his bed and rubbed his face as he started getting ready for the day, you had invited him out for breakfast, but what Daniel did not know; you decided to bring your boyfriend, he would've been fine with it had it not have been the boyfriend that frequently abuses you. Daniel had been your best friend since the pair of you where three years old but when high school came around the corner and hormones became an apparent thing in both of your lives, Daniel had a never ending crush on you. Everything about you he loved and he fell in love with you with every moment that passed that he was with you; the funny cat videos you send him, the way you tie your hair back when you’re thinking and making things, the way you have a certain way of doing everything in the morning and your afternoon routine. The poor boy hated seeing you with so many guys that meant nothing to you, and you meant nothing to them. Daniel could always tell if the guy you were dating had a side chick or just wasn't interesting and even though he constantly told you you never listened, and then within the next month Daniel would find you in tears and blabbering ‘sorrys’ from not believing him, of course the actor would bring you in and comfort you with tea and a place to sleep for the night.

I think I'm back in the dream

I think I'm back on the ceiling

It's such a beautiful feeling

Walking down the street Daniel could hear the bustling of the street next to him, the clicking of the soles of his shoes on the pavement, the screaming child just behind him that wasn't allowed a lollipop; even with his headphones in and at a reasonable volume. Everything seemed so loud but so far away, Daniel wanted to tell you how much he loved you, how much he wanted to hug and hold you, kiss you and make you feel safe and okay and happy; but of course you already had someone before he could ask you.

Going up

“(Y/n)?” Daniel asked as he opened his front door and squinted out to his porch, “doll what the hell are you doing?” the tired man asked as he quickly let you in and sat you down on his couch before making his way to the kitchen and boiling the kettle, he knew what you were doing here, he knew something happened between you and your boyfriend, you normally wouldn't be here if it weren't for that. Daniel came back within five minutes with a two cups of tea and placed them both on the coffee table before retreating again to bring out the family biscuit pack and sat down next to you; the blonde didn't speak for a moment as he let you drink your tea and have a bite of an oval cookie.

“H-he slapped me” you whispered softly against the bite you took off your biscuit. Your voice was shaky and quiet as you let the words sink in, not only into Dan beside you; but to yourself as well, you never believed it would happen, you never thought you did anything bad or something your boyfriend didn't like.

“He...he hit you” Daniel confirmed looking at you with wide eyes. You simply nodded as you kept nibbling at your biscuit, “why?”

“An argument broke out, Damian was asking what i had made for dinner and I told him I hadn't made it yet, then he started to get s-so a-angry….” you mumbled, the end of your sentence trailed off as the fresh memories came back and the red mark on your cheek burnt, “a-and he got so….out of control. I-I couldnt s-stop him” you whimpered softly, tears sprouted in your eyes again and dripped down your cheek and into your tea as you took a generous mouthful.

“(N/n)....” Daniel said in a ‘what-do-i-even-say’ tone.

“J-just don-don't worry” you muttered softly as you dipped your biscuit into your warm tea and bit into the soft mush before it dropped, as you ate you looked to Daniel and took a second glance as he sipped his own tea. Dan looked to you mid bite.

“What?” he asked, a watery smile crept its way onto your face as you looked down.

“You’re only in your underwear” you said softly, Dan looked down with a small ‘what?’.

“Oh. Shit.” he said as he looked at his black jocks , “shit i'm sorry (Y/n)” the actor said as he put down his tea and rubbed his eyes. This made you laugh softly as you finished your tea and biscuit.

She lights me up

She breaks me up

She lifts me up

“Its okay” you said with a laugh as you put down your drink, “we’ve been friends for years, ive seen you naked before” you said with a giggle.

“Oh don't bring up that memory” Daniel said as he buried his head in his hands, “that was so embarrassing” the boy mumbled. When the two of you were in your teens you would go past each others houses and let yourselves in as nobody was really ever home, but today just so happen to be the week Daniel had broken his leg and with no one else home to help him shower; you had to be the one to make the commitment. Even though it was for an actual reason it was still something you liked to joke about every now and then; you had to help undress Daniel and shower him all while keeping your eyes up and off of his junk.

“It really wasn't” you said with a chuckle, “it was for a good reason” you said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, I know, but still. I've grown you know!” Daniel said quickly, before he could register the words his face went red as you burst out into a fit of giggles.

“Oh really?” you asked, “down there?” you pointed to his junk, “or up here?” you patted the blonde head which granted you a fun loving death glare from Daniel as he pushed your hand away from his head.

“You know what I mean” Daniel said with a blush.

“I really dont you know” you said with a laugh.

“UP HERE YOU DORK!” Daniel said with a loud voice and a laugh, this caused you to laugh too as you both shook your head.

You find a mystery bound in perfection

You've got to read, but you don't want to reach the end

As Daniel reached the cafe he pulled the headphones from his ears and stuffed them in his pocket with his phone. He could see you from the window already, Damian had a protective arm wrapped around your shoulders as you searched the cafe for Daniel; you almost looked frantic, you wanted to get away from Damien, which is probably the reason you have squished yourself against the window to get as far away from the man as you physically could. Of course that hasn't worked as you got pulled back into Damiens side.

Cause what if everything beautiful's fiction

And this reality's just pretend?

As Daniel walked into the cafe and the door let off a bell sounding out someone was here, a bright smile lit up your face like christmas night as Daniel finally reached the booth. By now you had FORCED Damian from the booth so you could hug your best friend.

“Hey Dan” you said into his neck softly as you squeezed the actor, him returning with the same force.

“Missed you” Daniel said softly into your hair as he nuzzled into your neck; but this moment was short lived as a rather loud and obnoxious cough interrupted you two. You separated from Daniel quickly and smiled before motioning for Daniel to sit down as you went back to your previous seat and Damien was quick to move in next to you; efficiently trapping you.

“So Dan” Damien said with a tight and annoyed smile, “what’ve you been up to recently that has made you stay away from us for so long?” the man asked. Daniel had to fit the urge to roll his eyes at the fakely covered sarcasm.

“Uh, i've been filming down in uh, SA actually. Adelaide; for the new movie with the other Daniel” Dan said with a chuckle. You leant forward in your seat and placed your arms on the table as a sign for Daniel to keep talking; that you were listening with the giant smile on your face. Daniel coughed and chuckled softly as he looked to you with a grin, “it’s called Escape from Pretoria, it's about these two men who break out from a South african prison with help from other people and it's just about their journey of survival really and how they got by; it's based on a book from one of the real escapees, Time Jenkin, Radcliffe is the one who got that role and i got the other guy” Daniel said with such happiness; he loved talking about his job but he loved it when you listen to his stories and things he does with the job. You get as excited as Daniel himself does, it's a nice thing to know.

And then I'm back in the dream

I'm looking up at the ceiling

It's such a beautiful feeling

As time passed and stories got told, Damien had excused himself from the table to go to the bathroom and as soon as he was out of sight Daniel got on topic.

“Has he hurt you recently?” the actor asked as he bent over the table slightly and leant in closer so no one else could hear. You looked to Dan with a scared face before doing the same and leaning in.

“Y-yeah he has” you said softly, “im so sorry” you say as you wipe your eyes from the tears that threatened to fall, “he takes my phone and locks the house and puts my keys somewhere i can't find them” you whimper out softly. Dan quickly gets up from the table and walks around to sit next to you, as he sat his arm wrapped around your shoulders and slowly brought you into his chest for a hug; you wrapped your arms around Dans shoulders and tried to stifle your crying.

“It’s okay babe” Dan said, he didn't even try to stop the nickname falling from his mouth as it felt so nice to say and sounded like the right time to say it.

“N-no it's not!” you whimper softly, “I don't want to be with Damien anymore. I hate him, h-he's so rude! And arrogant. He doesn't like any of the things I do, we disagree on everything all the way down to what to watch on TV!” you exclaimed, your voice wasn't loud enough state for everyone else to hear but Daniel knew what you were doing. Daniel nodded in an understanding of where you were coming from and thought for a moment.

Going up

“Then leave him” Daniel said, “we’ll leave right now,” he exclaimed with wide arms, “we-we pick up your stuff from your house and we head back to mine. You can bunk with me until we find a better place for you to live without him there” Dan said, you giggled softly at his awkwardness but nodded quickly.

“Please, I want to get away from him” you said with a sniffle. Dan nodded as well and clapped.

“Right! Come on, let's get away from here” Dan said as he started to drink the rest of his drink and took the last bite from his food as you started to bring money out from your purse, “what are you doing?” Daniel asked with a concerned look, “you aren't paying,” he said.

“What? No. im giving a tip” you said with a light chuckle as the waitress came over, she asked if the two of you were finished and you both nodded before telling her your ‘friend’ was in the toilet and was going to pay for the food anyway. You handed the woman a fair tip before dashing out of the cafe with the giggles and making quick work of getting to Daniels car before Damien came back.

She lights me up

She breaks me up

She lifts me up

After a quick rush to your ‘previous’ house (as Daniel had now dubbed it) to grab your things the two of you left a little note for Damien, basically saying you where going to change your phone number, that you had run off with someone and your things and that you never wanted to see him again. With To Young to Fall in Love blasting on the radio and the car going down the street at reasonable speed you got to Daniels house in record time; with enough daylight to still make a whole new room just for you in his house (seeing as it was a two bedroom). Daniel helped you set out your room as you wanted before the pair of you flopped onto the living room couch in a fit of giggles with some cool jazz playing in the background.

“I didn't actually think you’d agree with me,” Daniel said, “about moving in with me”

“Of course i would. Anything to get away from that prick” you said with a sigh and a roll of your eyes. You hated Damien since you first met him but he had somehow conditioned you into thinking you loved him and he loved you back, “I actually found out last week he's been cheating on me since before me and him got together” you paused, “I guess that’d make me the cheatee?” you questioned before shrugging, “I don't know what happened with the other girl. Maybe he’ll go back with her” you said with a sigh.

“Don't think about it hun” Daniel said as he sat up alongside you, he nudged your shoulder softly with a blush as he bit his lip, “you know there's always someone out there for you” Daniel said, biting the bullet. You shrugged.

“Maybe there isn't” you mumbled, before looking to the lounge room carpet and picking at the fraying ends.

Up to the stars she shows me

Daniel took a second look at you before scoffing slightly, “‘maybe there isn't’?” Daniel repeated.

“Well, yeah. Maybe i'm just meant to be alone!” you exaggerated.

“Why the hell would you say something like that?” Daniel said with a slight edge to his voice, “(Y/n) you're so beautiful, you're so talented. You send me cat videos almost every day at the same time, you tie your hair up and out of your face” Daniel scoffed as he fell back onto the cough with a huff, “hell, every night before you go to bed you turn the TV off, you got to the kitchen to make sure the kettle is off before you walk up the stairs, TWO AT A TIME, and put on long fluffy socks for the night if its cold before cuddling into the blanket in the fetal position” Daniel said; his face had turned red and was almost in tears.

Dame Street, George's Street, miles below me

Up where the world won't let us down

(Na, na, na, na)

“Daniel…” you muttered softly as you sat next to the actor on the couch as he wiped his eyes.

“(Y/n) im in love with you, and i have been my entire life. Ever since you first came to me from your first boyfriend breaking up with you, with tears streaming down your face and ice cream around your mouth you always looked so beautiful to me. The day we had our highschool formal and you were in that beautiful dress? That was the moment i knew i had fallen for you, i had been discarding my feelings and putting them off thinking it was just stupid teenage hormones; but seeing you walk down those stairs and into the lounge room where i was waiting with your parents and that stupid boyfriend of yous-”

“Braydon” you cut in with a watery smile.

“Yeah! Him. I always hated him” Daniel muttered absently, “ever since then ive been in love with you, and i've fallen more and more in love with you with every day that has passed. I find new things about you almost every day” Daniel said before taking a breath and letting out a small chuckle as he sniffled and wiped his eyes.

Going up

(It's two o'clock on the edge of the morning)

“Daniel…” you said softly, “why didn't you tell me sooner?” you asked as you scooted closer to the actor.

“I didn't want to ruin what we had” Daniel muttered softly as you wrapped your arms around him.

She lights me up

(She's running magical circles around my head)

“I wouldn't have minded you know” you said softly as you turned Daniels head to look at you. You sighed softly at the tears that streamed down his face and wiped away the tracks they had left and cupped Dans cheeks; rubbing your thumb over his cheekbone before letting your gaze drop to his lips.

She breaks me up

(I hitch a ride on a dream she's driving)

“Are you saying i could have asked you out this entire time?” Daniel asked with a chuckle, you nodded with a grin that spread to your eyes.

“I've been in love with you since you first broke your leg” you said before pausing, “wait”

“So you love me for my junk is that it?” Daniel asked with a laugh.

“What no! Of course not you dork!” you said as you pushed Daniel, the boy laughed wholeheartedly as he let himself fall onto his side on the couch before twisting himself onto his back as you came up and placed your knees either side of his hips; neither of you thought of it being sexual, nor did you even want it to be sexual.

“Why then?” Daniel asked, “hmm?”

“Because you trusted me enough to help you in some of your most desperate times without anyone else being there” you said thoughtfully. Daniel leant up on his elbows with a soft smile, “and ive fallen more and more in love with you with each day that passes” you said softly.

She lifts me up

Daniel chuckled softly before you leant in and connected your lips with his; a passionate, searing kiss mixed with every emotion of love, want, distance and everything in between. Your arms wrapped around Daniels shoulders and tangled into his hair as his came around your waist and his hands connected with the skin of your back; you shirt had ridden up from straddling Daniel, but neither of you cared enough to stop.

[sugaabooga]

lowkey part-timer!Jisung

Pairing: Yoon Jisung x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Christmas-themed, bullet-point scenario

Summary: A Christmas romance sparks between you and the cute, bubbly part-timer in your local grocery store.

Warnings: None

A/N: First story in the Christmas-themed scenarios I’m doing! I’m hoping I’ll be able to finish all of the rest 17 scenarios by Christmas!

Jisung was the cute part-timer at your local grocery store

He’s been working as the cashier in aisle 8 after he’s graduated from uni after he couldn’t find a job that pays decently

He decided to stay in his hometown, after suffering in a totally new city, and got a part-time job as a cashier that paid pretty well

You on the other hand, bought your own studio after moving out of your hometown

Your job as a photographer caused you move out and go to other places rather than your small town that always made you feel caged

You were putting together all your pictures you had taken the past week since you had to put out a new project soon

You decided to take a break and have a quick lunch then walk around to the parts of the city that you hadn’t been able to see yet

When you come out of your studio with all your necessities, you realize that a bunch of people were putting up Christmas decor and trees around their shops

It was Christmas? Already?

You celebrated Christmas, for you were a religious person, but you never got the whole holiday spirit type of thing

You didn’t really enjoy Christmas songs or the cold really

when you came out of your house you had only slipped on a thin cardigan with your camera and everything in your purse

You hated the cold

You had once been locked out of your house one winter and had to wait outside until your parents got back home from work

You were practically frozen when your dad discovered you covering your body with the welcome mat

So yah you had a trauma of the cold

You quickly take some pictures of the snow and all the people getting on ladders to decorate the light posts and rooftops

You smile at your work and skip down the sidewalk to the farther parts of town

You find yourself in front of a market which you had never seen before even when you were driving around when you first came

Maybe it was new?

You went in since you were hungry anyway and they most likely had samples

Meanwhile, Jisung was helping some of the other workers take out boxes and such, since no one was really in the lines

You were eating some of the sample dumplings when you see a chip bag fall

You’re about to pick it up when you feel more chip bags falling on you

You lift up your arms to shield yourself and let out a small shriek

You lose your balance when a heavy box falls on you

“OMG I’M SO SORRY! ARE YOU OKAY!?!? OMG OMG!”

You’re ready to give the guy a piece of your mind

But then all your thoughts are lost bc

Wow

This guy was cute

He was almost pouting while putting the bags back in the box

He noticed that you were standing back up so he quickly got up and bowed to you

“I’m so sorry….I-I didn’t see you there!”

You’re about to tell him it’s okay, but then suddenly a man who seemed like the manager came storming over

“YOON JISUNG!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? JUST BC IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS TIME IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD LOSE YOUR WORKING MENTALITY! YO-”

“It’s fine! It was my fault! I suddenly stepped in front of him while he was passing.”

You defend jisung and he’s actually really surprised!?!?

Bc a normal person would be complaining w/the manager

And it would end up w/jisung mopping the floors or something

Yea this wasn’t the first time jisung caused trouble lol

But here you were LYING so he wouldn’t get in trouble

The manager is left speechless bc he kinda looks down on Jisung

So he storms away annoyed

Jisung glances at his furious manager then thanks you

“This isn’t the first time this happened & i prob would’ve gotten fired. thank you so much”

You grin bc omg he was so cute?

His santa hat was about to fall off so you reach over and straighten it up

Making jisungs cheeks turn soo red you thought he was gonna burst

You leave after that whole incident and you come back a week later

You just couldn’t get jisung out of your mind

You were sorta hoping to see him somewhere around the area where you live but no luck:P

So you just decided to go to his workplace yourself

When you entered, you were really shocked bc it was reallyyyyy busy

There were so many more ppl than last time

It was prob bc Christmas was now a week away

And ppl just buy presents last minute ya know

They were also preparing more food for family&friends so yah

You grab a pack of gum and head to the shortest line which was aisle 8

You were looking at your pics that you took earlier and that’s when you hear a familiar voice greet the elderly woman in front of you

You look up w/hope that it was Jisung and boi oh boi yes it was

This time he was wearing a headband w/reindeer ears that were somehow slightly slanted

After he greets the woman in front of you goodbye he turns to you with a smile then it falters when he notices

Wow it’s that really cute girl that defended me from my devil-ish manager

You just politely smile, not knowing if he remembered you since you were irrelevant ya know

But then he totally remembers you bc

“OMG IM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN! DO YOU REMEMBER ME? AH~ AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAVING ME FROM GETTING FIRED!”

“......uh...no problem?”

He grins and tries to make small talk w/you which is cute aha

Even tho you’re only buying one pack of gum

He somehow takes ten minutes to scan the barcode and charge you ???

I can’t with jisung he’s such a cute, underappreciated bean

You were in the middle of a very intense convo about beavers so you decide to meet him at a nearby coffee shop on Christmas Eve (may or may not be where barista!daniel works but you should go check it out :P shameless self-promo)

Both of you forget to give ea. other your numbers

But hopefully both of you will remember about that date meeting

AND YOU DO

fate really is on your side

You enter the coffee shop at like 6pm bc you weren’t sure if you guys decided the exact time to meet

You guys didn’t lol

But ya know

Fate will bring the two of you together right?

You wait for thirty minutes, but still no Jisung

You’re starting to think that he forgot, but then remembered he had a shift that ends at 9pm

Idk how you knew that but...it works

so you decide to just sit there and sip on some drinks

you take pictures and all

You’re so immersed into taking pictures of everything around the whole shop, that you don’t notice the timid and nervous looking man entering the now, almost empty cafe

You’re frowning at the picture you just took when you feel a tap on your shoulder

You turn around to see Jisung with a sorry, but excited grin on his face

You greet him with a wide smile as he apologizes how he didn’t know what time he had to come

He starts to ramble and you shush him

Like why does this guy say ‘sorry’ so many times?

“It’s fine. We both forgot to say a time to meet up. Besides, I wasn’t here that long”

He seems a tiny bit less sorry so the two of you start the convo about the beavers again

The talk about beavers went to zoos then went to how your lives went then led to your jobs, your interests, your hobbies, what that girl was wearing, blah blah blah

You felt like you really had a connection w/jisung

The two of you, as cliche as it may sound, clicked immediately

It only felt like five minutes passed, but the coffee shop owner had to kick you guys out since it was thirty minutes past closing time

You swap numbers this time and plan to meet each other at the same place tmrw @ 7pm for the annual Christmas tree lighting at downtown

Both of you lived alone and you suggested “why not have the loners meet up on Christmas Day?”

Jisung didn’t have work and you didn’t want to stress about your projects, so the two of you had agreed

As you walk back home you cant help but feel so giddy

How was a man having this much of an effect on you?

BECAUSE YOU HAVE A THING FOR HIMMMM

You smile at all the snow piling up and gape at how beautiful everything seemed

You have never felt so excited for Christmas

The next day comes by SO SLOWLYYYY

You weren’t able to sleep from the anxiousness and expectation you had for the next day so you were sorta tired

But you got dressed in simple clothing and went out for a walk and to buy Jisung a Christmas present

You didn’t know what he liked since you literally starte talking to him a wk ago

So you settle for some Christmas-themed socks, beanie, a pair of house slippers, and a gift card to the coffee shop you had been at yesterday

As you walk in and out of stores, you couldnt help but sing along to the Christmas carols that were playing

which you had never done b4

you did a double take and stopped singing, but you found urself humming along to “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”

And you also couldn’t help but oogle at all the stuffed animals that filled the walls

They were SO CUTEEE AND FLUFFYYYY

One of the stuffed ducks reminded you a lot of Jisung so you decided to buy it

You bought a lot of things, but they were all for a decent price so :))

It gets really dark really soon and it’s 6pm

ONE MORE HOUR TILL YOU MET JISUNG

You hurry back home and quickly dress in layers since it was going to be collldddd

The weather forecast said there was a 99.99999999% it was going to snow, so you couldn’t risk it

Even tho the weather forecast is always wrong

You pack your camera again bc you were planning to create a Christmas themed project nxt

As you run out the door you send Jisung a txt saying that you’ll be right there since it was five minutes till seven

When you arrive in the warm shop, your glasses immediately fog up causing you to groan

You try to fan the fog away but to no avail:)

Then you hear a big laugh and you turn to sorta make out a figure that looks like Jisung

He takes the end of his sleeve and cleans your glasses and you’re met with the brightest smile you have ever seen in your whole entire life

Maybe that’s when you fell for him

Tho it was a person you had known for a little over a week

You felt like you knew Jisung since you were a kid

He hands you a cup of peppermint hot chocolate and pulls you along to get a good view of the Christmas tree b4 too much ppl come along

You get there just in time and wait a few moments until the announcer comes out onto the podium

You and Jisung both cheer as the five minute countdown starts

The minutes go by so quickly and you jump up and down to keep yourself warm

Then you see a few snowflakes falling on Jisung

You both look up to see that ITS SNOWINGGGGGGG

The whole crowd of people ooh and ahh

And some kids squeal in glee

You softly smile and get out your camera to take a few shots of the falling snow

When you’re done there’s a minute left on the clock

You suddenly remember your present for Jisung and quickly get it out and hand it to him

“Merry Christmas!”

Jisung gasps and says ‘thank you’ in such a genuine way that it fills your heart w/pure happiness

He then shuffles around his backpack and takes out a large box that’s prob filled w/similar things as you gave him

You start to hear the announcer countdown from 10

ten

And that’s when Jisung starts to speak

“H-Hey, Y/N?”

Nine

“Hmm?”

Eight

“I know it’s been only like two weeks since we met”

Seven

But I can tell you’re such a nice person, ever since the day I first saw you”

Six

“You’re such a great person…and….uh”

You furrow your brows

What was he trying to say?

Five

“We have so many things in common than I thought we would”

Four

“I really thought i would get fired that day i dropped the chip bags on you”

You smile at the memories as the crowd gets louder and louder as the time to light the tree get closer

Three

“A-And ever since I saw you....Y/N...I uh”

You roll your eyes at his weird stalling

Two

“JISUNG! SPIT IT OUT!”

He looks at you w/wide eyes

One

“I-I LIKE YOU!”

The crowd erupts in cheers and claps w/kids screaming and laughing at the lights that shown brightly

The announcer shouts “now go home!” with a hearty laugh

Jisung stands in front of you with his hand clamped over his mouth

You stay silent and stare at him in shock

What were you supposed to say?

Sure you liked him, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to date someone you had known for a week

“T-THAT CAME OUT WRONG!”

you tilt your head in confusion

“What?”

“I don’t like you! NO NO I DO LIKE YOU! B-BUT-”

You burst out laughing at his panic

“I like you too, Jisung! But how bout having our first official date after getting to know each other a bit longer than a week?”

And the two of you stand in front of each other w/goofy smiles on your faces, in front of the glimmering, 30ft tall Christmas tree, underneath the moonlight in the gently falling snow

dang this was pretty bad lol

[jess-oh]

Reflection

[song of today]

oOPS, ive been getting kinda lazy again. but before i forgot or fell asleep... i wanted to type this post to just catch up on everything thats been going on.

i just watched part of the thailand team’s vlog and it made me really miss guatemala. i keep saying that theres 1 moment that i will never forget. and while that’s still true, i remembered another time. i remembered on our last day at our first village and everyone was in a giant circle and we were getting ready to leave. but in an attempt to start heading over, a bunch of the kids latched onto me and i pretended to be losing strength as i inched forward, bit by bit. but more and more kids continued to latch on until they were actually too heavy for me to carry and i fell over. but i remember. i remember lying down on the floor in the middle of the circle and being filled with so much joy. i laughed in pure bliss along with the kids. and i didnt care that we were in the middle and i could feel my team judging me for just suddenly breaking the circle. but i didnt care. i was so happy to just be there in that moment with the kids. i just remember hoping that claire was taking a video or at least a photo of us bc it was a moment that i never wanted to forget. and i can feel my memory slipping away but man, that kind of joy...it doesn’t come everyday. i miss that feeling. of just laughing my head off without a care in the world, just so incredibly glad and blessed to be with those kids. having that childlike spirit. what a powerful moment that i hope to never forget.

and the second, just to resolidify the memory, was when our team danced and sang english vbs songs in the pouring rain. we didnt care that it started raining. in fact, we werent even phased. we had a job and we were going to do it. and man, even though the kids and the adults didn’t understand and looked at us with confusing as we sang in english, i will never forget how empowered i felt. as we sang “strength and shield,” and i turned to my team from the front and yelled, “READY? 1. 2. 3!” And then turning back to the front and jumping and yelling, “I’M JUMP JUMP JUMPING FOR JOY! I’M SHOUT SHOUT SHOUTING MY THANK YOU. I’M SING SING SINGING MY LOVE. TO GIVE YOU ALL MY PRAISE TO YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU. GOD IT’S ALL FOR YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU. I GIVE MY PRAISE TO YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU. GOD IT’S ALL FOR YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU.” The body movements. The songs. The singing. Everything. Just being there alongside my team. So fueled and pumped up. I loved every bit of it. And I hope that I never ever forget it. I loved doing all those VBS songs. English and Spanish. And while I’m sad that I can’t remember everything, I would happily learn again. There’s something so empowering about just dancing and singing those songs. 

i remember how awful i felt post mission and how i felt so useless bc i couldn’t adapt to the new situation at hand. and even though it was a mission trip, i still thought so much about how my team saw me and that filled me with so much anxiety and self hatred. i felt so useless on the trip bc i didnt know how to catch up. i couldnt catch up. i was too much of a control freak to account for that situation. and i regret it. i wasnt useless. i drew and colored so many posters. i led the body worship. and even though i was flawed and our lies skit wasnt as as strong as it couldve been, i still served. i did my job and i went through with it and thats what mattered. i impacted their lives. i remember when we had to break off into groups and while at first i thought i was bringing a group of 20 people to my area, 50+ people ended up coming. my group was way larger than anyone else’s but i didnt complain. i adapted to the new situation and i still carried out my duty. i accepted the help from our chisec homies and even though i took longer than everyone else, i still did it. i made sure everyone had the beads and the bracelet. i did it. i felt so shitty bc i didnt plan the crafts well enough. i kept relying and pushing judy when i didnt plan for my own part myself. but i did it. we did it. it happened and everything worked out in the end. on our night of debrief, i wanted to do daily QT&reflection as well as sleep before midnight and while i did try, i kinda gave up. but i have kept up with the reflections at least! but i remember my team saying i should do something that has to do with my family since our relationship was shit. but i refused. and idk if that was the right choice or not but i honestly believe that the time we spent away and apart from each other, helped way more than any kind of talking would have. we’re open now. before? i think we would’ve all been too stubborn to understand. 

Now onto the events of the past few days. Honestly, I don’t really remember what I last posted so I’ll just go by memory and make it brief. The other night. Two days ago? I hung out with Andrew and although it was awkward, I was able to introduce the topic of religion without it being too weird and for that, I am grateful. I’m also happy that God’s been allowing us to spend more time together. Just one on one. He is still Andrew but he does act differently around David. Also, I’m 98% I already wrote about this so let’s move on.

Yesterday, I met up with the PAL Presidents and Hazel. I was pretty salty toward PAL at first bc I waited 20min for them at in-n-out, only for them to ask me to come to El Mo, somewhere I was previously right next to since I went to Chase earlier that day. Begrudgingly I went but I’m glad that I decided to give them a chance. It was nice to catch up briefly with Daniel since we were both in UBMS and hear about their plans for the coming year and share my knowledge and experience as well. They’re on the right track. And while they’ll most definitely have issues with the class, I believe in them.

Afterwards, I met up with Hazel and in-n-out and regrettably ordered way too much food. I didn’t get a drink and yet, I was still dying. I got a double double, animal style fries, and a strawberry shake. But I’m still happy I did it. It was great. She’s pretty nervous about the coming year since she’s the new EIC along with someone else for yearbook and while I cannot confidently say that she’ll succeed, I do believe in her effort. I think she does have a lot of potential and have grown so much since I first met her her sophomore year. And I’m really glad and proud of how far she’s come since then. I do think it kind of sucks that the editors forced the position onto her but I think she’ll try really hard and I’m even proud of her for that. I did vent a bit about how terribly my senior year in yearbook and revealed to Hazel everything that happened behind the scenes. But I’m happy I got it off my chest. But at the same time, I know I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m over gossiping. This was just a step back. I did start looking for files for her but since most everything was on my school email and that was shut down... there was only so much that i could do. I’m still looking for some things that could help her. Admittedly, I have been a bit lazy in my research but I really don’t have a lot of stuff left. I am going to try and drop off my old yearbook binder and notebook and see if that’ll help at all but... who knows. It looks like trash to me but maybe she can find some sort of inspiration from it. 

sidenote: i was so full and lazy from my food that i convinced my sister to pick me. honestly, i shouldnt been more attentive to my phone when i originally asked her to get me but im thankful nonetheless that she actually came back out just to get me. but wtf in-n-out. howd it take you 12min to make lightly cooked fries???

but onto today, 

IIiiii, ran some errands and then met up with Rena today and while we did have a pretty great conversation and were able to keep it up for hours and hours.... we did talk about other people a lot. And I kind of hated that. We never meant to. It just started from her not knowing that so many people were sophomores. But. I kind of hated it. It felt like 2 steps back for me. And I knew it too. I kept trying to ween off that conversation but somehow, we always found ourselves back on it. Talking about other people. Not necessarily in a bad light and they werent people we knew nothing about but still. I think once we started talking about the people we knew in a relationship, it really became gossip but I didn’t know how to drop it. But man, I am filled with such regret. I wish I didn’t do that. I wish I just called ourselves out on it. But I am happy that I got to spend that time with Rena. I just hope she doesn’t see me as the gossip girl now though. I doubt it but... still.

It is something that I still need to work on and be more aware of.