#couldnt figure out how to get some of the right back or starboy besties into this

[kylewalker-peters]

thinking about your bake off AU....... me and claudia were discussing an F1 version i would personally love ur thoughts on this

this is genuinely the best au ever and i can never do it justice but here's some ideas i have

this is so hard because there's like 50 million footballers and 20 spaces in this god awful sport. and i also don't wanna do like just a straight comparison either cause the idea of comparing any footballer to lewis... i'd throw my own self in jail

right so i dont care about taa at all but you do so in light of the southgate news he's giving the vibe of "guy who won junior series in his rookie or second season, got to like alpha tauri and then was overlooked for a promotion to one of the big teams in favour of everyone else" despite somehow winning a race in a shitbox of a car and if southgate was in charge would probably be sent off to fe or indycar or something to free up a seat.

okay i know i said i wouldnt do comparisons but sadly i DO think though not at all equal deccy would end up being the danny ric of the grid like un four chew nat lee he does have the charismatic appeal and also the glow up. outside of that comparison i think he ends up being a solid midfield driver, there's always rumours of him making the step up but everywhere is already taken and the contracts never align and people just don't want to spend money buying him out because it'd be so high because he's so key for said midfield team so he gets a couple wins but he never challenges for a championship. OR i'd argue grealish could fill that danny role but i truly truly do not think that man would be smart enough to remember what all the buttons on that steering wheel do. like it's just not happening is it... i can suspend disbelief in an au only for so long. he'd crash trying to push one button cause he'd look down trying to find it rather than remembering to concentrate on the bloody track

if i give spurs players past and present some championships the way i cannot give them trophies at spurs erm... look away. but also dembele wins like 1 championship but is forever an underrated driver and people don't appreciate his racecraft but other drivers on the grid hate to battle him because they know he's sooooo good. wait jan and mousa teammates yeah!!!!!!!!! they win a championship each. gonna say harry and son are teammates at some point and absolutely DOMINATE because the work SO well together and helping to develop the car. dele and eric ARE teammates when dele first breaks into the sport like they WERE the blueprint back in the day we cant ignore. would have dele and son as teammates but it'd only be for like half a season and then dele's arc gets DEPRESSING!!!!!!! it's like if pierre had been demoted to alpha tauri and then flopped there too and been demoted out of the series altogether. i do think richy and romero as opponents but also actual teammates era would leave them like ocon and perez bitchy tweets and all because there wouldn't be the need for getting along that they have rn and that's important to me.

sissoko is a FLOP like nicky latifi but arguably maybe worse, has one good season but just fully is not a good use of a seat but then he goes to a different obscure series i cant think of and does well because i said so and also i'd be sat at home rooting for him even as he finishes 3 laps down and calling him the GOAT. no wait it's like when he scores he gets a podium and i'd have passed out and filmed the ceremony like i was literally there.

winksy and international baby girl kinda scream "i was ripped off with the promise of an f1 seat by zak brown and all i got was this stupid t-shirt" and then stay in indycar or something

maguire drives for like fucking haas or something and you genuinely do not know what he'll do. he seemed fine, decent, good even in junior formula and got his big move to f1 and just lost the plot. he's either anonymous in races or is being a Menace but even in his quiet races there's always the anticipation that he'll smash into another driver just to make himself feel better. like there is Always the chance of a safety car or a red flag if he's starting either because he's crashed into someone else or just decided to take himself into the barriers. you don't want to drive against him because you don't want to blink and suddenly have DNF-ed because of him.... but he also might get a penalty that boosts you up the grid without puncturing all 4 of your tyres somehow so... swings and roundabouts

marco reus is one of those goated goated goated drivers maybe we'll say he's like a lifelong ferrari fan like he is bvb and he signs to their academy and does well in junior series and spends the odd season at sauber/alfa and when he gets to ferrari everyone's like oh shit here we go and then the car is absolute CRAP but he simply wont abandon ferrari. like he's there forever he's the ride or die for that stupid team and instead of injuries we'll say it's constant DNFs and so he never wins a championship but he's hands down one of the biggest what if drivers. he's also so kind to younger drivers and if he can guide them in any way to make sensible contract decisions and help them mentally not pin everything on winning championships then he will.

like i hate ferrari but dare i say then here comes jude bellingham starboy?..... no i shall. he wins f3 and f2 as rookies at a super duper young age (rather than skipping junior categories like a certain dutchman) and ends up in the sauber by the time he's 17, in the ferrari by 18 and teammates with marco. if the ferrari garage was competent and the car wasn't a pile shit it'd be embarrassing for other teams... sadly that isn't the case. they make the best out of a bad situation and the genuine talent both of them possess drags that team to places it shouldn't be. marco is coming to the end but still got it and while still competitive he'll retire before he has to find a lower team. very much a mentor to jude as he progresses in as much as you can be in an individualistic yet team based sport. think we still see jude's temper sometimes flare up though over his career he deffo gets a hold of it and he deffo calls his engineer fucking shit at one point for a bad strategy but i also think he's not content to stick with ferrari if they're going to be rolling the circus into town every week and unlike marco WOULD jump to merc if they suddenly started outperforming (anyway this got too close to real life so let's leave that there)

as much as i hate to say this about my best friend erling, he's giving me red bull driver vibes I'm so sorry to myself and also him.

WAIT i've only made players drivers lemme see if any would be good engineers. maybe it's just because every tom dick and harry says he's smart but like i DO see ben davies being a good engineer maybe he can be sonny's. or wait hang on maybe i make dier dele's engineer rather than teammate hang on wait no hang on let's do that instead. i know there's nothing but hot air and joe rogan quotes up there but i think that would actually be soooooooooo perfect.

conor coady and tyrone mings are absolutely engineers and they work on the same team just managing a driver each and the social media/marketing team is constantly bullied into releasing footage with them after people clock they're not only fit but also good mates. so it'll be a video with drivers being silly and then INSTANTLY the exact same video concept but with those two.

jordan pickford either engineer or deranged team principle that is good at his job but also calls someone the c word over the radio and causes the PR team a sleepless week trying to deal with it.

dare i say hugo is the dilfy team principal who leads his team to like 10 championships in a row? yes i will.