#couldn't be bothered here as you see
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#sketchbook#acrylic painting#painting#colour pencil#eldritch angel#i forget to give them their wings a lot#because there's twelve wings with#when i chose#a decent amount of lineart#couldn't be bothered here as you see#it is late. i just woke up. and i am going to spend an hour or two watching a pretty man do sexy gun violence. good night#illustration#artists on tumblr#my art#this one looks particularly awkward in a way i enjoy#they are mysterious seemingly all powerful transdimentional beings but because they are written by me they also have social anxiety
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jesus christ, doc, i thought you were a goner! warn a guy next time, will ya? jesus christ, doc. jesus christ
bonus doodle post-extra-long-hug:
(listen im a sucker for the forehead kisses alright. whenever it happens in a fic i eat that shit UP. it's the cutest thing ever idc)
#back to the future#bttf#bttf fanart#marty mcfly#doc brown#emmett brown#happy bttf day! good thing i fell into the hyperfixation hole before the crash course of dates here in oct-nov instead of after#otherwise i'd have to wait a whole year! anyways#THEY SHOULDVE HUGGED IN THIS SCENE ARGJARHGARHAJ#they totally did guys trust me they totally did.#honestly i love how everyone agrees yeah they hugged immediately after the scene cut we just didn't see it#bc it is real. and true. canon even!#they should've hugged at the end of part 3 also but i digress#im so happy im an artist guys i can draw whatever the hell i want. i can will scenes that should've happened into existence#see what happens when i really try? see what happens when i give it my all? /ref#this turned out soo well i'm very happy with it. at the same time i can totally see it being one of those pieces where you look back in a#year or two and go damn why that limb at that angle#the tool belt is not accurate at all i just couldn't be bothered. drew a “placeholder” thing for it before looking at refs and got lazy#kit does an art#tag as ship and it's your knees
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It's been another year, time to bring the October lists out. As is more or less tradition by now, I'll be doing the Goretober challenge again. Like last year I've decided to make my own, shorter list to give myself and anyone else who'd like to follow it more days for each prompt. Feel free to share and use however you like!
I'll be tagging all my Goretober related stuff with "goretober". Block that tag if you don't want any of that on your dash. I'll try to tag everything properly with more specific tags as well. Stay safe! <3
ID in alt text, and here's a text-version of the list below the cut:
Goretober 2023
A shorter Goretober list for myself and anyone else who want to participate, but want fewer prompts and more time for each prompt. Feel free to shorten the list even more by only doing the prompts on the left or on the right! (or every other day, if following the text-version)
There are 8 Prompts in total, and below each prompt there are three extra words. The extra words are there as inspiration, but are Not necessary to include if you don’t want to.
Day 1-4
Prompt: Infection
insects, illness, rot
Day 5-8
Prompt: Burned
melting, charred, blistered
Day 9-12
Prompt: Open wounds
blood, cuts, torn
Day 13-16
Prompt: Insides
bones, brains, viscera
Day 17-20
Prompt: Face Trauma
eyes, mouth, teeth
Day 21-24
Prompt: Broken
bruises, dislocation, amputation
Day 25-28
Prompt: Hands (or paws)
nails (claws), deformed, tools
Day 29-31
Prompt: Plants
invasive, suffocating, poison
#eyy it's that time of the year again let's go#it's been Another rough year for me and I happen to be very distracted both irl and by a certain bg3 game so I'll likely not do all of thes#but I'm putting it out here anyway for anyone else who'd like a shorter list to follow~#feel free to tag me in your goretober stuff if you follow this! I'd love to see what you create :D#it's more or less the same prompts as last year but moved around I couldn't be bothered to think up a bunch of completely new prompts lol#goretober#goretober list#goretober 2023#goretober prompts#october challenge#art challenge
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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care
#i have 14 hours overtime#collected within 2 weeks lol#you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're#the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's#still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way#so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for#free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week#so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me#first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day#stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the#articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared#but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he#he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world#fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday#just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not#being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU#seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour#of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni#as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too#sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess#void screams#work stuff
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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)
I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏
#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that#wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it#so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always#i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone#tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know#and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone#let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to#i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself#but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice#makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude#so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry#i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody#i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them#everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share#this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this#tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb#hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one
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okay wait I'm writing an actual post so I can start handling all these emotions
#in the tags#because I am extremely aware of the privilege involved in buying extra content and even getting it shipped so fast#if seeing madison/kickstarter talk bothers you feel free to ignore this post! it'll likely be my last one on the subject.#but the thing is: three and something years ago I was deeply depressed and confined to my house because of covid#I hadn't been active in any fandoms in 3-4 years at that point and I started to think I'd never feel this passionate again#and then I read omgcp in a fit of insomnia one night#and then waited with baited breath for the last episode to go up so I could write a completley canon compliant madison fic#I spent six months obsessively writing it.#it was my first long fic in 5-6 years and working on it honestly - genuinely - dragged me out of that bad place.#when I posted it I knew one day it'd be jossed by canon madison but I was so okay with it. I couldn't WAIT#and tbh I thought it'd happen much sooner than it did#but now we're finally here and it weirdly feels like a big moment for me#like a: look where we were and where we're at now kind of moment. like a: end of an era kind of moment.#by no means the end of my omgcp era#but I think a part of me just felt unfinished as long as this moment was still unfulfilled#anyway. if you were here when I was completely new to this fandom and just started talking about that 2015 summer nonstop#just know you were a major part of my mental health journey during covid and that I appreciate it so fucking much#rip madison fixation 👋 you've served me well#text
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This isn't the best picture, but it kinda looks like Lana designed this armor for him and unintentionally (or intentionally) made them match, lol.
#swtor#kotfe/et#dude his armor is SO dark i couldn't see him on my screen for the majority of kotfe i thought his model disappeared#INVISIBLE...#i've also been thinking more about his role in this alliance that treats him in an incredibly utilitarian way#and since he's come to accept his role as a tool who just kills lana's enemies and nobody seems to debate that except to disapprove#he starts wandering off more and more#alternating between sleeping inside his quarters and camping outside to purposely make it difficult for people to find him lol#so they can't bother him with trivial tasks or lectures#andronikos laughs at lana and theron being irritated by it like haha. guess he doesn't like you lot after all to which they feel miffed by#but eight *is* a proud creature who can't be reigned in when his heart does not resonate with his keepers#and they decide it might be fair to let him do what he wants as long as he picks up when they call him#he ends up traveling through the rural regions of zakuul and enmeshing himself with the locals as a friendly sellsword#he just solves little problems he comes across sometimes for payment sometimes for free#and they think he's just a mercenary attracted by zakuul and they're like he's so nice...be careful sir the outlander might be out here#don't stay out too late but we'll know you'll protect us :)#they keep giving him shit like their vegetables and even a pack animal cuz he doesn't take money so whenever he comes back#the alliance is like where the fuck did you get these.#also you can't convince me the entire population of a planet is in (1) shitty city or none of them have already left for the wilds#the exiles do not count#esp since there's still remnants of life there im sure not everyone would give up their culture or way of living
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Also when folks are crying that ''they sometimes do tours, just go and see it then!''
Ah yeah, the tour. The ''minimal decorations, minimal line-up, heavily supplemented from local celebs, still cost a small fortune for poor people"? That tour? Thanks, but I'd rather have the proshot DVD :)
But also, we literally went through the pandemic just now. If they don't want DVDs, what about streams then? From the top of the head, don't worry if you don't know these: Feuerschwanz had a proshot show (Die Letzte Schlacht), Schattenmann had a show. Powerwolf had an entire concert movie up (The Monumental Mass). If Saltatio Mortis could hold a LIVE streaming concert (Ein Traum von Freiheit) for thousands online all over Europe (and the world) in 2021, what's stopping broadway or west end from having a streaming service for this sort of thing? Surely, they have a lot more money and other means at their disposal to make it happen than some German folk metal band?
People who honestly think there shouldn’t be a proshot release of theater shows because then people wouldn’t go to the theater anymore are so fucking dumb holy shit how dumb do you have to be did people stop watching footbal games because it also airs on tv? did people stop going to concers because you could get the dvd? holy shit just let poor people have a taste of the thing too god damn it
#been to two ''tour shows''. PotO and Notre Dame.#both were shit (derogatory)#Notre Dame was HEAVILY relying on local celebs and it was in English because#most couldn't be bothered to learn the actual libretto. you know. the libretto in French. for a FRENCH musical#some people actually got up and left the audience#with Phantom you couldn't see anything. it was open-air. the tickets cost more than I'd like to admit#(and those were the tickets that got you the ''hear little and see shit'' seats)#I am also pissed about all the theatre proshots here that were aired ONCE and then pulled off the screen and out of the archives#I REALLY want to see the Latvian Svejk production from the 90s. With Prāta Vētra.#but it was aired ONCE. and you can't find it anywhere. no archive has it. not even OURS#youtube has one (1) song#so aside from everything else? we also might be losing our cultural history here#imagine how many songs and stories have been lost because nobody wrote them down?#that's what's potentially happening to theatre and musical productions#ESPECIALLY the ones pulled down or cancelled because they've been running for too long or people didn't care ''enough''#(how much is ''enough''? depends on whoever is in charge I guess)
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This is super random, but I've recently been watching more German movies (I really enjoyed the performances of some Downfall actors and wanted to see some of their other works), and like what the hell is it with 2000s German movies that there's way too often one entirely random scene with someone having their bare ass out😭😂
Of course it doesn't happen in every movie but still often enough that it's somehow noticeable? I'm not sure if it's more of a time or a country dependent thing, but at least in my perception I just don't feel like this occurs as often in more recent movies and series especially in those from the US (like, I feel I'd have noticed if it did because I'd probably be lowkey annoyed by it😂)
#or maybe the things I tend to be interested are just more targeted at all ages that's why I rarely don't come across it usually idk#I mean in some instances it it's actually sorta plot relevant (like in the final scenes of Napola for example) but in others it's so random#and I'm like ... couldn't you just have lifted the camera angle a couple degrees so we only see that guy from the waist up?#I just feel a little bad for the actors tbh😅 esp in those unnecessary scenes. I mean I guess they knew what they signed up for but still#this is all meant to be /lh to be clear - for the most part I find this literally just hilarious because it's such a random thing#not sure if my asexuality has to do with my perception either. I find it silly and roll my eyes at it but I'm not genuinely bothered by it#but aside from that watching movies because of specific actors can actually be kinda funny#because it makes you take a look at media you'd never have considered otherwise (which can be hit or miss)#like for example now I've watched some of the most random movies ever just because Justus von Dohnányi is in them#(<- he has my recommendation btw. not all of them were even good but I think he's genuinely fun to watch and also kinda adorable tbh)#it's also funny when you watch sth because of one actor and then another one you remember from elsewhere just randomly appears there too#like once I was like 'hey isn't that the guy who played Hewel in Downfall? oh and the one who played that one drunk guy is here too lol'#also idk why but I feel like Thomas Kretschmann is somehow everywhere lmao#I mean it's probably bc he's in a lot of international productions too but still. tbf he doesn't look bad at all#those two and André Hennicke are generally the ones I'm most interested in. maybe Rolf Kanies too#but tbh I feel like he just hasn't been in as many things? idk why though he was so good in Downfall#anyway I think I'm yapping way too much. I just like watching things and talking about them#and seeing actors having fun with their job while also being good at it is just really cool tbh#selnia talks
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i just scrolled through my blog and i realised i have only two modes: weird pseudo-philosophical rambling. and absolutely unhinged yelling. AND I TELL YOUUUU IT'S SO FUNNYYYYYYY because i spent so long trying to curate my voice and sound like a normal, fun, easy to approach person back when i first made this blog!
then again it's been 3.5 years so i guess my voice changed naturally 🤨 i'm not smart enough for this 😮💨
#nia.musings#sorry even using this tag makes me snort. wdym musing girlie. are u a philosopher. big brain? 🤩🤩 2024 me is bullying 2020 me#also not me saying “im not smart enough for this” for anything that requires me to use more than 2 braincells#couldn't be bothered trying to make sense for more a second#kickstarting my own brainless era and i wear my crown so well#also random but i'm soooooo ready to infest this blog with jjk. i probably won't do that because that piece of art traumatises me#by that i mean i like it and keep up with it far too much for someone who claims theyre traumatised#my emotional scale is SHOT because of it. more pain than preferable. but i do quite enjoy it#and considering i go through sooooo much jjk content on tumblr it's only fair that i showcase it all on my blog :3#i have about 700 draft reblogs on a sideblog i made to save posts when i wasnt active here. i made it this year but theres SO much now#also lowkey regret not being active (though i had no energy) here in 2021 2022 2023 because i had so many thoughts about bnha#and now it's nearly over#like what do you meannnn i didnt get to yap about my spinner era from 2021.#what do you mean my love to hate and back to love arc for dabi didnt get documented in the annals of tumblr dot com#AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY MELTDOWN LAST YEAR RE: HAWKS' QUIRK DIDNT GET PUBLICISED#this is all a joke because i for real (FR FR) had ZERO chance of being here because life was putting me through its TRIALS#still is. but that's the way life is. we go on. <3.#speaking of trials. no one here was privy (wait i think i mentioned it in an rb) to my jason grace breakdown when i found out What Happened#sucks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i wasnt made for emotional pain.#also it's funny to me how none of my followers have unfollowed me so far.#are u guys also all inactive or do u just not see me anymore because tumblr's dash algorithm gives u random posts now#thats the only thing i dislike about tumblr now. i LOVE how it lets you edit tags now. also will always miss the old layout
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average United States contains 1000s of pet tigers in backyards" factoid actualy [sic] just statistical error. average person has 0 tigers on property. Activist Georg, who lives the U.S. Capitol & makes up over 10,000 each day, has purposefully been spreading disinformation adn [sic] should not have been counted
I have a big mad today, folks. It's a really frustrating one, because years worth of work has been validated... but the reason for that fucking sucks.
For almost a decade, I've been trying to fact-check the claim that there "are 10,000 to 20,000 pet tigers/big cats in backyards in the United States." I talked to zoo, sanctuary, and private cat people; I looked at legislation, regulation, attack/death/escape incident rates; I read everything I could get my hands on. None of it made sense. None of it lined up. I couldn't find data supporting anything like the population of pet cats being alleged to exist. Some of you might remember the series I published on those findings from 2018 or so under the hashtag #CrouchingTigerHiddenData. I've continued to work on it in the six years since, including publishing a peer reviewed study that counted all the non-pet big cats in the US (because even though they're regulated, apparently nobody bothered to keep track of those either).
I spent years of my life obsessing over that statistic because it was being used to push for new federal legislation that, while well intentioned, contained language that would, and has, created real problems for ethical facilities that have big cats. I wrote a comprehensive - 35 page! - analysis of the issues with the then-current version of the Big Cat Public Safety Act in 2020. When the bill was first introduced to Congress in 2013, a lot of groups promoted it by fear mongering: there's so many pet tigers! they could be hidden around every corner! they could escape and attack you! they could come out of nowhere and eat your children!! Tiger King exposed the masses to the idea of "thousands of abused backyard big cats": as a result the messaging around the bill shifted to being welfare-focused, and the law passed in 2022.
The Big Cat Public Safety Act created a registry, and anyone who owned a private cat and wanted to keep it had to join. If they did, they could keep the animal until it passed, as long as they followed certain strictures (no getting more, no public contact, etc). Don’t register and get caught? Cat is seized and major punishment for you. Registering is therefore highly incentivized. That registry closed in June of 2023, and you can now get that registration data via a Freedom of Information Act request.
Guess how many pet big cats were registered in the whole country?
97.
Not tens of thousands. Not thousands. Not even triple digits. 97.
And that isn't even the right number! Ten USDA licensed facilities registered erroneously. That accounts for 55 of 97 animals. Which leaves us with 42 pet big cats, of all species, in the entire country.
Now, I know that not everyone may have registered. There's probably someone living deep in the woods somewhere with their illegal pet cougar, and there's been at least one random person in Texas arrested for trying to sell a cub since the law passed. But - and here's the big thing - even if there are ten times as many hidden cats than people who registered them - that's nowhere near ten thousand animals. Obviously, I had some questions.
Guess what? Turns out, this is because it was never real. That huge number never had data behind it, wasn't likely to be accurate, and the advocacy groups using that statistic to fearmonger and drive their agenda knew it... and didn't see a problem with that.
Allow me to introduce you to an article published last week.
This article is good. (Full disclose, I'm quoted in it). It's comprehensive and fairly written, and they did their due diligence reporting and fact-checking the piece. They talked to a lot of people on all sides of the story.
But thing that really gets me?
Multiple representatives from major advocacy organizations who worked on the Big Cat Publix Safety Act told the reporter that they knew the statistics they were quoting weren't real. And that they don't care. The end justifies the means, the good guys won over the bad guys, that's just how lobbying works after all. They're so blase about it, it makes my stomach hurt. Let me pull some excerpts from the quotes.
"Whatever the true number, nearly everyone in the debate acknowledges a disparity between the actual census and the figures cited by lawmakers. “The 20,000 number is not real,” said Bill Nimmo, founder of Tigers in America. (...) For his part, Nimmo at Tigers in America sees the exaggerated figure as part of the political process. Prior to the passage of the bill, he said, businesses that exhibited and bred big cats juiced the numbers, too. (...) “I’m not justifying the hyperbolic 20,000,” Nimmo said. “In the world of comparing hyperbole, the good guys won this one.”
"Michelle Sinnott, director and counsel for captive animal law enforcement at the PETA Foundation, emphasized that the law accomplished what it was set out to do. (...) Specific numbers are not what really matter, she said: “Whether there’s one big cat in a private home or whether there’s 10,000 big cats in a private home, the underlying problem of industry is still there.”"
I have no problem with a law ending the private ownership of big cats, and with ending cub petting practices. What I do have a problem with is that these organizations purposefully spread disinformation for years in order to push for it. By their own admission, they repeatedly and intentionally promoted false statistics within Congress. For a decade.
No wonder it never made sense. No wonder no matter where I looked, I couldn't figure out how any of these groups got those numbers, why there was never any data to back any of the claims up, why everything I learned seemed to actively contradict it. It was never real. These people decided the truth didn't matter. They knew they had no proof, couldn't verify their shocking numbers... and they decided that was fine, if it achieved the end they wanted.
So members of the public - probably like you, reading this - and legislators who care about big cats and want to see legislation exist to protect them? They got played, got fed false information through a TV show designed to tug at heartstrings, and it got a law through Congress that's causing real problems for ethical captive big cat management. The 20,000 pet cat number was too sexy - too much of a crisis - for anyone to want to look past it and check that the language of the law wouldn't mess things up up for good zoos and sanctuaries. Whoops! At least the "bad guys" lost, right? (The problems are covered somewhat in the article linked, and I'll go into more details in a future post. You can also read my analysis from 2020, linked up top.)
Now, I know. Something something something facts don't matter this much in our post-truth era, stop caring so much, that's just how politics work, etc. I’m sorry, but no. Absolutely not.
Laws that will impact the welfare of living animals must be crafted carefully, thoughtfully, and precisely in order to ensure they achieve their goals without accidental negative impacts. We have a duty of care to ensure that. And in this case, the law also impacts reservoir populations for critically endangered species! We can't get those back if we mess them up. So maybe, just maybe, if legislators hadn't been so focused on all those alleged pet cats, the bill could have been written narrowly and precisely.
But the minutiae of regulatory impacts aren't sexy, and tiger abuse and TV shows about terrible people are. We all got misled, and now we're here, and the animals in good facilities are already paying for it.
I don't have a conclusion. I'm just mad. The public deserves to know the truth about animal legislation they're voting for, and I hope we all call on our legislators in the future to be far more critical of the data they get fed.
#big cats#tiger king#my research#news#big cat public safety act#animal welfare#big cat welfare#legislation and regulation#vent post#long post#crouchingtigerhiddendata#more on the problems with the bill in the future
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if there's one thing i hate more than slackers in group projects its goddamn hypocrites
#this guy did jack shit for two full weeks when we're building the damn prototype#but STILL brought up the fact that most of our team blew off a report till the last minute in the beginning of march#*prototypes don't work* “sEe tHis iS wHy wE nEedEd tO hAvE a cOnvErsaTioN aBouT MS3”#like hon you lost the rights to the “y'all need to contribute more” argument the moment you left me hanging for 2-3 FUCKING WEEKS#like excuuuuuse me you been prioritizing extra curriculars all week get off your high horse stop lecturing everyone else about contribution#he made maybe 3 contributions? maybe?#first he 3D modeled an adapter and sent it to someone else to print (couldn't even do THAT himself smh)#then he sent the gc a sketch of an idea i roughly proposed literally the NIGHT BEFORE as his own contribution (that I ENDED UP BUILDING#then he...screwed on a few pipe fittings and called it a project :)#would be a LOT less pissed if he didn't show up to One Thing outside weekly team meetings/class#then apologize for slacking off BUT then launch into a FUCKING SPEECH ABOUT HOW HIM BEING HERE PROVES HIS COMMITTMENT#all because he DOESN'T LIKE GETTING UP EARLY. like sir. sir i am rIGHT FUCKING HERE. i was up till 4-5am working on this stfu#we've been building for three weeks and he's come into work on stuff wo me there ONCE for an HOUR#for context id spent about fifteen hours in the shop alone working on the fucking thing that WEEK#like im trying to be understanding ik tech week is hell#but i took “stepping back” as “i only have a few hours here and there to be in the shop and will do the writeups”#NOT “won't show up outside meetings AND we're splitting slides and writeups 80/20”#like id been in the lab all fuckin day and notice we have an assignment due (missed a SINGLE meeting due to exam)#and i ask him if theres anything i can do (and im thinking like look it over maybe add a spec or two)#and this fucker has the AUDACITY to ask me to write the full four paragraph summary cause he#*checks notes* copy-pasted some specs from milestone 3 so of COURSE its only fair that despite the fact I've been in the lab ALL DAY#that i write the four fuckin paragraphs too#course we're troubleshooting and he's like “did you clean the pump? did you disassemble it and rinse it?” like yes???#i did EVERYTHING i could think of before i even bothered texting you cause i know you're fucking useless#and then he raises fifteen different concerns which while valid would have been NICE TO HEAR WHEN I SENT YOU MY INITIAL DESIGNS#y'know BEFORE i spent over fifteen hours of my free time building this damn thing#with slackers i just pick up the work and move on with my life this idiot is trying to gaslight me into thinking that he contributed fairly#when i heard “i need to step back due to play stuff” i thought we'd be splitting it like 65:35 NOT FUCKING 95:5#and now hes probably going to give ME a poor peer review because I've been passive aggressive with him in the few meetings he showed up to#like i got shit going on too? how the fuck does he expect me to respond to being abandoned to do this shit myself
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So Ang aka Recapkid aka Handsome Hugs aka whatever the fuck they calling themselves now* poisoning the discourse while doing exactly in rl what his art portrayed (allegedly) is why we don't get to have nice shit in ZADR fandom anymore, huh.
*My knowledge of Rek/Recapkid saga ended initially when they first made their first dramatic exit in fandom. Everything after is what I had to track down to verify tonight.
#there'll always be wolves among the sheep and obviously fuck your fandom if it hurts people yada yada#idk what to believe but it is apparent something is not right with ang beyond drawing sick cartoons#i've seen them get harassed and bullied years ago and they were toted as a fandom martyr#but i don't have a reason anymore to think the alleged abuse accusations about them is false anymore#and perhaps their victims did retaliate in such a way to ruin their life and have them lose their job health insurence#but by not taking the end of life care and persist to taunt them and play victim ang has made their case look worse and indefensible#that no matter how you slice it no matter what ang has went through and what they did or didn't do to these people they created bad optics#i predict we're going to get another monster ballooned into a bigger monster here and no apology or accountability#this person is like if chris chan had gotten nearly as far as john k. in terms of legitimacy and cult of personality#i'm not being glib if the full story is true#they were exposed time after time but kept muddying the waters like an abuser does by calling their victims the abusers#and people eat it up as lies spread around the world before the truth can put its shoes on#and then leave truth freezing in the rain when it's already not welcomed as lies makes itself at home with your hot cocoa and blanket#i was never invested in rek as i knew od rhen as a person like i saw so many in fandom were#but i see what looks like a bullying campaign and condemned that#but now i have to question if they staged the bullying and exit for sympathy points to fit a narrative#because no former child turned adult would doggedly follow around their abuser from account to account#because they stumbled upon or hacked their adult account and were traumatized to vengeance and decided they need to ruin lives#no it is because ang or rek or whatever couldn't fucking disappear for real and stop bothering these people and prey upon some new ones#again allegedly and just my opinion#idk the real facts than the they said she said of it all
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Sukuna, a middle aged man jaded by the harsh realities of his life. He steps outside for a smoke nearby a convenience store, completely bored out of his mind.
A lady is handing out flyers nearby, although nobody is bothering to look her way, including sukuna himself.
You approach the man who's getting irritated by the lighter that refuses to work in his hand.
"Hello there, sir. Would you be interested in taking up classes for arts and craft?" You offer the cute flyer up.
Sukuna scoffs. Is she serious?
"No thanks."
"Are you sure? You look like you could use a bit more colour in your life."
He's too exhausted at this point to get angry at a random woman on the street.
"...You're not too far off, i suppose," sukuna mutters, still trying to get the spark to stay on his lighter. "Even so, I'm not interested in the likes of arts and craft. Do i look like a child to you?"
You withdraw your offer of your flyer, and inspect him for a moment.
"Arts and craft can be enjoyed by anyone, regardless of age. But moving past that... you seem a bit down. If you'd like to confide in a stranger for a night, I'm happy to listen."
What a strange, persistent woman. Sukuna gives up on his lighter, and takes out the unlit cigarette in his mouth to think back for a moment. One thing does come to mind.
"I'm not feeling down. But i remembered something, now that i think about it..." he confesses, feeling weirdly compelled to tell you about it.
"Today is supposed to be my birthday."
Birthdays have never been special to him. Nobody celebrated his birth as a child, and in turn, he's never paid attention to the birthdays of others.
"Oh, happy birthday. Are you doing anything special for yourself today?"
"No. I've never cared for birthdays. And I'm getting too old for that anyway."
"Well, that won't do... Hold on for a second."
Puzzled, sukuna looks back at you but you've already gone inside the convenience store. Whatever you're up to now, couldn't possibly be more enticing than getting in a proper smoke right now. Sukuna begins to zone out.
He only snaps out of it when something mildly cold grazes past his cheek, leaving a ticklish and moist sensation on his skin as it disappears upon impact.
Bubbles. Bubbles are flying past him, and floating away into the sky.
For a moment, he gets mesmerised by the swirl of colours that are harboured in each one. Even just from the light of this dingy street, they fly up while holding a multitude of different colours inside them. Time seems to slow for a split second, and he doesn't understand why.
His gaze follows the trail to identify it's source. And unsurprisingly, it's you, standing behind him. You blow a couple more out, and then grin at him childishly. He finally looks at your face properly for the first time.
"Birthday bubbles. For the birthday man," you chuckle sheepishly, knowing that you probably look a bit silly right now. You put the bubble wand back into the small bottle of the soapy mixture, and screw it tightly.
"Here, you can have it. Next time you're feeling a bit antsy, why don't you try blowing some yourself? They're pretty, aren't they?"
You also hand him a different small item.
"And i also threw in a little something else, while i was at it."
He looks down, and sees that it's a new lighter. He slowly pulls his hand out of his pocket to take both of them from your hands.
"I hope you get to do something more special next year. Birthdays are supposed to be joyful, after all," you comment.
"Thanks for putting up with my nosiness. Farewell."
And then you leave him after a quick wave.
Sukuna stares wordlessly as you walk off, wondering what to name this ticklish feeling rising in the pit of his stomach.
The small bottle in his palm reminds him of a moment in his childhood. Kids in the park bragging about their bubble wands that were gifted to them. the laughs that resounded as they all ran off to catch the fragile spheres as they blew away in the wind. The tiny feelings of envy in his heart.
The item he tucks away into his pocket is the lighter. And when nobody is watching, he blows a couple more bubbles into the night sky.
-
Every time he passes by that convenience store, the thought of you comes to his mind. A flashback of your smile in the back of his mind. Every so often, he comes to this particular store. Despite having closer options, he comes to this specific one.
At times, sukuna regrets not taking one of the flyers that you were handing out. He wouldn't have had to mope around a convenience store in hopes of running into you again.
Today is a rainy day, and this calls for a hot piping cup of instant ramen. He doesn't usually enjoy convenience store food, but he wants a reason to stay around inside for a bit longer.
He needs to wait five minutes for the noodles to soften. In this time, he stares out the glass frame of the store, and watches the various rows of people walking past with their umbrellas opened.
There appears to be one anomaly in the crowd, however. Running without shelter from the rain, clutching her bag as if it contains something important in there. Sukuna realises that it's you.
Forgetting about his instant ramen, sukuna grabs his umbrella and dashes out the door.
You're mildly panicking about being stuck behind the red light at the zebra crossing without anything to save you from the rain, but the sensation of the droplets hitting your body come to a stop all too suddenly.
You look up, and there's a black umbrella sheltering you, big and strong looking. You spin around and recognise the stranger with pink hair and sharp eyes. Seemingly out of breath.
He signals to the light that has now turned green behind you, and ushers you forward to cross the road before you can say anything to him.
Now safely on the other side of the road, you begin to converse with him.
"It's you! Hello. Thank you for sheltering me. How have you been?"
"... So-so. Nothing's changed since the last time we met."
"I see. You look better than last time, though." You get the feeling that his eyes have a little more light in them.
Sukuna doesn't really get what you mean, but he moves on.
"What’s in your bag that's so important for you to be protecting it like that?" He asks, effectively changing the topic.
"Oh, this? I literally just bought some brand new origami paper... i can't risk getting them wet and unusable. The children would be disappointed."
"Origami, huh? How original."
"Hey! That's not all... there's a lot of options i offer them. They voted on origami this time."
"You got a lot of people signed up?"
"Not really... but I'm sure it'll start picking up soon. Slowly, one at a time."
You smile up at him hopefully.
"...is the offer still open?"
You cock your head to the side slightly, confused. Sukuna grits his teeth, feeling a little bashful about having to ask more specifically.
"You know. Lessons for grown adults."
"Oh! Of course, anytime! Would you like to come sign up today?"
"Do you offer one-on-one sessions too?"
"Yes, I do."
"Alright. Let’s go."
Sukuna can't fathom the words that are coming out of his own mouth. But fuck it, what's the worst that could happen? You've somehow intriged him, and he can't think of a better way to approach you.
You chatter his ears off along the way, and he nods along while his shoulder gets wet from the way he leans his umbrella closer to your side.
#literally idk what this is lmao i suddenly got a vision abd had to type this all up on my phone lmao um#sukuna x reader#jjk x reader#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#jujutsu kaisen x reader#sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n
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Formally back for the day I think! Little tired so replies may be slow, but I am free again 👍
#ooc#txt#might be more than a little tired honestly but I'm gonna be on my phone doin stuff anyway so might as well ya know?#also a fair warning for the bothered: probably gonna get stoned lol#the elderly were being Racist and it is extremely draining to deal with. I need to Recover#anyway. I'll reblog some stuff i saw earlier i think and then go back to panel harvesting until somethin happens#ALSO WHILE I'M HERE FOR RP PEOPLE: I was gonna rp Kim as though she was at a NYE party tomorrow if anyone else is interested in joining in +#+ on that bit? I think I saw a julie rp blog earlier that I will be reblogging the intro for like I have the others but I had this idea +#+ back before christmas and just couldn't use it then-- so--#if the person running the julie blog sees this before I contact you abt that cause I have to hype myself up for that stuff do lemme know if+#+you're down for that idea! and I'll @ you in whatever post I make formalizing it. otherwise I was just gonna let it be a fun blog specific+#+flavor thing. I was planning on doing more drunk Kim stuff lol#and naturally julie's parties are excellent settings for enabling those. she throws a lot of them after all
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my boyfriend will kick your ass !
- fushiguro megumi x reader
it's a date gone wrong when you get into an argument with your aloof boyfriend. but will he save you when it counts?
genre/warnings: tw. street harassment, catcalling. hurt/comfort, arguments and reconciliation, protective!megumi and fluff !
note: i miss my emo boi :(
general masterlist
“Stay back!”
This is an utter plot twist. When you came out of your apartment today, all dolled up and ready to go on a date with your boyfriend, you never imagined you’d end up cornered by two creeps in a deserted alley.
“Easy, girl,” one of the guys in front of you cackled, lips curling into an unsettling sneer. “We’re just trying to get to know you better!”
“Listen— My boyfriend is super scary, you know!” you barked, willing yourself not to shake. “Now you better not come any closer or else—!”
“Or else what?” the other creep mocked with a snort. You gripped your umbrella—now your makeshift weapon—tightly, pointing it at him as a threat.
“Or else my boyfriend will be here in any minute and he’ll kick your ass!”
It was a partly a lie you hoped sounded convincing, because how could Megumi suddenly show up and find you in this dingy alleyway... right after both of you had a petty disagreement in the middle of Shibuya's shopping district?
Oh lord, how you regretted raising your voice and running away from him earlier.
"You are late!" you scolded him heatedly as he yawned, showing up twenty minutes later than your agreed time. "Can't you at least text me beforehand? I'll match your time if you do!"
Megumi sighed, fixing you with a blank stare as he scratched his head. "My bad. I overslept. I rushed here so didn't think of it."
It was so easy for him to say, and you would've understood if it was the first time, but you had noticed this pattern over the past two weeks. Whenever you asked him out for dates, his face always soured, and he didn't bother to be on time. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was reluctantly agreeing.
And by this point, you thought you knew better and that was really it.
Finally, you blurted out the burning accusation: "You never realize it, but it shows, you know? You never seem happy when we go out together."
He exhaled in exasperation, green eyes darkening at you. "What do you mean?"
"Exactly that."
It seemed he had run out of patience. Standing your ground, you braced for his next words. But the glare he sent your way and the words he spat pierced your tender heart more than you thought—
"You're always nagging. Can't you stop being annoying just once? What a pain."
Perhaps he was right, you were annoying him all this time and dealing with you was a pain. You could imagine it if you were in his place, but you couldn't handle the very implication that you had done so, and you screamed at his face:
"So be it then! Fushiguro, you are the worst!"
—and ran off with tears in your eyes, deserting him altogether.
You knew you weren’t exactly a model of maturity, but in your defense, it stung deeply that he saw you as annoying and a pain. What girlfriend wouldn’t be hurt by that?
Anyhow, you loitered near the Shibuya station afterwards, and at first you heard some catcalls you didn't really pay mind to. But when those two guys started whistling and edging closer, it hit you—you were their target.
You quickened your pace, turning down several corners, only to find yourself trapped in a dead end. Just how much worse could your day get?
"Aha, the girl says she has a boyfriend!" Creep #1 snickered, turning to Creep #2 with a smirk, before pretending to scan the area. "But I don’t see him?"
"Miss, I swear we’re not up to any trouble," Creep #2 chimed in, his eyes gleaming with a predatory delight. "Won’t you be our friend? You’re too pretty to be alone—this is Shibuya, after all!" he said, eyeing your legs and whistled. "And ooh, have I told you that skirt suits you well?"
These guys were straight-up perverts!
"Get lost!" you yelled, your fingers trembling as you swung the umbrella at him when he tried to close the distance. "Can’t you just leave me alone?!"
You were at your wits' end, and it was clear this situation wasn’t going to improve with them still blocking your way. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart, and decided to do the only thing you could.
In hindsight, a stupid move—
You barreled towards the two of them with your umbrella—managing to push past them. For a moment, you thought you had a chance and ran as fast as you could—
"Ack!" —until you tripped and crashed on the ground.
You rose and immediately winced, looking down at the site where it hurt the most. Oh, you had scrapped your knees badly.
"Ahh, miss! Don't be too hasty~!" you heard the second guy's sing-song voice, and you really wanted to cry. Why did this have to happen to you?
"Don't come c-closer!" you stammered, backing away as they approached. Your whole body shook, desperately trying to think of ways to save yourself. "Or— I'll scream!"
"Whoa, whoa, wait just a minute! Why don't you just—"
You really thought you would scream, until suddenly the familiar scent of mint filled your sense and a strong arm pulled you from behind, and a broad back shielded your view from them—
"What do you need from her?" Megumi's voice boomed, his eyes glaring at the two men who had been harassing you. His breathing was ragged, as if he had run all the way here. "Fuck off."
At that moment, you couldn't help clutching his sleeve, hiding behind him further as you kept trembling. Megumi sensed it, and turned over to have a look over you—
You looked disheveled, spooked, and his eyes widened when he saw the blood trailing down both of your knees.
"Hey man, your girlfriend practically asked for it! Just look how she is dressed—"
Before you could process what was happening, Megumi had yanked the man by his collar and thrown a punch at him. You yelped and immediately got a hold of his arm to stop him further. "Megumi!"
The other guy quickly caught his friend, who spat out a string of curses, his lips bloodied from the punch.
"Fuck. Off." Megumi glowered at them, and they finally got the message, scurrying away in hurry. The moment they did, he faced you again and you finally let out a sob, throwing yourself into him. His body was warm, his heart pounding hard— yet it meant reassurance for you.
"Are you okay...?" his voice was noticeably softer as he wrapped his arms around you and returned the hug. "Did they touch you—?"
Megumi froze when he felt his chest dampen with your tears and heard your sniffles, your figure shaking like a leaf in his embrace. A wave of guilt washed over him, realizing how scared you must have been. Instinctively, he held you tighter.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," he muttered, his breath warm against your ear. It was as if there was an invincible knife that twisted his chest when it dawned on him what you just got into. "I'm here now, okay? You're safe now."
If it weren’t for his harsh words earlier, you wouldn’t have run off. He kept shushing you, his own heart breaking at the turn of events.
And when you nodded against him, he knew he had to make it up to you somehow.
Later, Megumi tended to your minor injury while crouching down before you, as you sat on a bench near the convenience store where he had picked up the first aid kit.
Your eyes were swollen, your outfit was dirtied, but you ignored the curious looks from passersby. Still shaken, you kept your gaze fixed on your lap.
You recoiled when the disinfectant touched your torn skin, tears welling up again in your eyes. "Ow..."
"It'll hurt just a bit," Megumi looked up at you worriedly, seeing you struggling to hold back tears. He gently blew air on your wound. "It’ll be over soon."
Megumi noticed how you were uncharacteristically quiet. Between the two of you, you were the chatty one and he was the silent listener. But now, you were completely silent, and he knew it was definitely not a good sign.
And so he thought it was a good time to finally explain himself. With a sigh, he began. "I... was on back-to-back missions last week."
You glanced at him, both surprised and confused.
“I was so burnt out— that’s why I’ve been oversleeping lately. Sorry for not meeting you on time.” Megumi applied the ointment to your knees, and you stiffened from the sting. He blew air on them again to ease the discomfort.
"You never told me," you pointed out.
“Yeah, uh, sorry...” he winced. “It’s so... lame. I’ve been exhausted for a week straight whereas Itadori bounces back so easily. Stupid, I know.”
"You... didn't tell me because you don't want to look uncool?"
As soon as you worded it that way, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Megumi remained silent, looking down, and you knew that his silence was a definite yes.
Totally stupid. But exactly how Fushiguro Megumi was always wired. A part of you was exasperated, but also forgave him for it.
When he met your gaze again, he finally saw the light returning to your eyes. It was a relief to him, so he let out a small sigh and put on a strained smile.
"How did you find me anyway?" you asked quietly.
"You didn't pick up my calls. I was worried. And then I ran around until I heard your voice." His eyes narrowed into a frown. "Did they do anything to you?"
You shook your head, and Megumi let out the breath he had been holding, gripping your right hand in his. "I’m glad."
You brushed away the trace of tears on your cheeks as he finished applying band-aids to your knees, awkwardly fiddling with your fingers.
"Sorry for being annoying," you mumbled softly, not meeting his eyes, feeling yourself so small all of a sudden. "Will totally happen again though."
"You..." Unwittingly, he cracked a smile at your blatant remark. "Just... don’t run off again, dummy. Do it where I can see you."
He ruffled your hair gently, then intertwined your fingers with his. "And sorry... for getting mad at you too."
Your cheeks felt warm, so you looked away, puckering your lips together. "...I'm hurt. You have to make it up to me."
He hummed, the beginnings of a smile on his face. "Let's go have that shaved ice you’ve been craving then."
“Huh? You remembered! But you don’t like them?”
“You like that kind of sugar dump, don’t you?”
Hand-in-hand, both of you traversed the Shibuya shopping district together. Your eyes were still puffy, but you were smiling and talking his ears off again just like you always did.
“I told those pricks my boyfriend will definitely kick their asses,” you giggled to yourself, swinging your joined hands in joy. “And you really did~”
“What are you talking about…?”
Sometimes you were beyond his comprehension. Sometimes you were also cute beyond comparison.
And Megumi thought... he liked you the best this way.
#fushiguro megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fluff#jjk x reader fluff#megumi fushiguro x reader fluff#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader angst#fushiguro x reader#megumi x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk imagines#fushiguro megumi fluff#fushiguro megumi x y/n#jjk angst#megumi fluff#megumi fushiguro
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