#could you imagine chris and vessel on a song?!

[excelsior9173]

I found a video of the whole Daughtry Chokehold cover, oh my gosh it’s so pretty??? And he calls Sleep Toke one of HIS favorite bands!!?? (His favorite London based band). 😭😭😭 legit got chills. What a good cover oh my gosh. Ok I’ll stop rambling now, hope you have a good day!💜💙💜💙💜

aaaaah omg i love it!!!

i’ve been a daughtry fan since his run on american idol so seeing him love artists i’m obsessed with too is awesome!!

i am… having a day (dealing with a lot of pain from falling on saturday 😔) but this was a great pick me up!!!

[marvellovegalore]

Breaking You

Chris Evans

Parte Deux - Hurting You

Synopsis: You begin to feel the true consequences of you hurting Chris and it's beginning to overwhelm you - and him.

Word Count: 2,483

Author's Note: I listened to quite a few songs to truly get into the vibe of this but The Cinematic Orchestra - To build a home (slowed) really got me into the energy I want to be delivered from this write-up. Happy Reading! Feel free to let me know how you feel!

Warning: Explicit Language, Mention of Mental Illness, Sexual Content

You’ve rarely had to consider yourself as someone who runs from her problems. You’d probably proudly tell anyone that asked that you quite confidently tackle your problems head-on.

However, you’ve created quite a serious problem for yourself. A broken heart.

What you have periled numerous men with, is now afflicting you. The odd thing is, is that you are exulting in it. It’s an oddly familiar sensation; it drowns your body in an intangible sickness that paralyses and asphyxiates you.

You sit at your piano, watching the silent and unmoving countryside. The fields of Portofino showered with golden sunlight, the brio reflecting into your room.

You haven’t pushed aside the sheer curtains since you arrived four days ago. You’ve taken your first shower this morning, the water sinking you into its comforting, warm embrace. You don’t really want to tell yourself aloud why you chose to come back to your grandparents’ old house, when stuff is going wrong. You’ve decided that playing the piano and smoking your days away is better than confronting yourself in the mirror - good thing all the furniture is covered with sheets. The sorry state of your face would make you plunder even deeper into your melancholy.

You will yourself to forget him and try to forget his existence.

But it’s virtually impossible, with him promoting a new film three towns over.

Good thing is you feel physically incapable of stepping outside of the confines of the house. The ladies that tend to the house scurry around the town buying food for the house and maintain its upkeep, they attempt to feed you three meals a day or four. You refuse most of the time, and they regard you with concerned gazes.

How could you begin to explain that with breaking a man’s heart, you subsequently had broken your own? His words blistered with bitterness bit you and dragged you down to the same pits of sadness that you plunged him into. You can probably say that you loved him, but you’ll probably truly never grasp why you can’t stay in something that requires such cemented commitment.

“Signora?” Your house governess interrupts your train of thought, you pull your cigarette away from your lips. “Sí?” She presents you with a letter addressed to you. The handwriting vaguely familiar to you. You thank her and dismiss her, the cigarette back in between your lips.

The letter doesn’t inform you of who it is from, but you hope, in the depths of your ribs that it’s from him, but you couldn’t possibly understand why he would ask to meet with you. He left you wordlessly two months ago and hasn’t been in contact since, not even through subliminal messages on social media. You can wager that you’re probably dead to him. It was made clear to you when you stood at the beach outside of your friend’s Malibu compound. He would rather die than get back with you; you don’t blame him.

You turn back to your piano, the keys feeling like lead beneath your shaky fingers. You play out a melancholic tune, your fingers feeling like they’re losing blood, you play clumsily, your eyes welling with tears.

You do have to admit, you feel extremely guilty for leaving him.

Life was beautiful with him.

He would have served you the sun on a platter if it meant making you smile - but you’re meant to destroy beautiful things.

It was what your father told you. You ruined his marriage to your mother; your sheer existence drove her to the brink of insanity. Since you were conceived you were a parasite that took the love your mother had for your father and you guzzled it out of her, taking all of her focus and affection. When you were born your parents refused the diagnosis of postpartum psychosis. Your mother believed you were an angel sent from heaven and doctors were trying to take you from her; so, she slowly succumbed to the madness and your father eventually was forced to send her away. The resentment he felt towards you all but scented the house, you were a poisonous leech, and you were treated as such.

You take the last drag of your cigarette and drag yourself to your walk-in closet, you decide on taking another shower - scrubbing away the odour of tar and smoke. You ready yourself for your strange and mysterious encounter. You dress yourself and half an hour later rush out to your car. The sun is low in the sky by the time you start driving away from the house, the countryside hugging you from all sides.

The drive is long into the town centre. The sky is blushed with pink and tinges of orange. You park your car and take a slow walk to the Splendido Mare; you enter the hotel’s restaurant and are led to a table. Your order a glass of wine and wait. After ten minutes you take out the letter, you read it from start to finish and confirm that the invitation was not a figment of your imagination; you were indeed summoned here by a mystery writer. Whom you hope is him.

You sit for half an hour at your table, you sip your anxiety away through two glasses of wine, you step outside and smoke two cigarettes and yet you’re still waiting. You flit through your phone notifications; you decide against your better judgement to type his name into the Goggle search bar. You fleetingly glance around the sparsely attended restaurant. You lock your phone without looking at the updates about him.

The thought of him makes your chest ache, harshly. The pain is tangible, you place your hands over your chest and wince. Something is not right.

You’re not aware of his slow approach, his hands wringing around each other, his cheeks red with nervous energy. He wishes he had had a shot of something - anything before getting here. He doesn’t recall what filled him the mad inspiration to send you a stamped letter to meet him at his hotel restaurant. He doesn’t know whether he wishes he had just called the brunette and spoken to her tonight; but he misses you. Madly.

He pulls out the chair in front of you. You can both tell that you’re holding in your breath.

Every time you see him it feels like the first time, all over again.

And he feels the same, but for either of you to admit it would be succumbing to defeat. You’re engaged in a silent and unspoken battle of wills.

“You sent me a letter?” You show him the letter. He nods, you sigh. “What is it you want to talk about?” You’re afraid to look into his eyes, they’re huge lakes filled with your dreams and deepest desires.

He hesitates, a ghostly sentence is formed on his tongue – he decides against materialising it. “I heard you were nearby; thought we could catch up.” He motions for the waiter. You narrow your eyes in - almost offence. What does he think, that you’re old pals?

He wants to catch up, but you want to do everything. Mostly profess your adoration for him and make love to him.

You despise the feeling; you’ve never felt like this for anyone. The alien feeling makes you heat up, your chest rises and falls quickly; agony filling your body as if you were a vessel to claim. “Right,” is all you can utter.

“What have you been up to?” He’s ordered two martinis, his eyes connecting to yours. You wince as the pain in your chest returns. How can he be so close yet so far?

“I was filming a fragrance campaign recently.” You speak quickly, an itch to smoke tickling your fingers. He nods, his eyebrows raised high.

“Nice.” He sighs and extends his clasped hands further onto the table. You look even more beautiful than in his thoughts, which he can’t expel you from. It seems your haunting presence is with him to stay, and his imagination can’t do any justice to your face and your intoxicating smell.

The conversation you have over your first drinks is dry, emotionless and full of hidden desires.

After each of you have three cocktails you let out the first laugh. He’s released himself a bit from the shackles of wanting to one-up you, his joke about his dog’s stubbornness reminding you of the good days of domesticity with Christopher and his dog. You move out to the terrace, candles flickering in the wind; you share more laughs. Memories being shared between you about life together.

There’s a clear shared emotion - longing. You crave the late summer nights sharing the dance floor with his friends or yours; him undressing you slowly in your pool; the nights watching the fire pit in your Santa Barbara home; the dinners enclosed in brick walled Italian restaurants with candles illuminating your elated faces.

“Come up with me.” His suggestion is quiet, his lips edging closer to yours. You nod, overcome with emotion. He grips on to your hand, the grip of a man thanking his lucky stars. He leads you to his room, on the top floor. A paradisiacal view of the sea and hills greeting you. The sun has set completely, and the moon casts a pale light over the buildings across the water.

Chris closes the door, and no sooner is he clutching at your lips with his. His hands smother you onto him and you meet him with the same desperation. Your hands slip under his shirt and moan into his mouth, your lipstick smearing over his lips. You feel him inhale your smell; he sighs desperately as he pulls you closer to him. You fall onto the chaise lounge in front of the open doors leading onto his balcony. The wind whispers sweet nothings onto your skins as you meld together, your bodies wanting desperately to be combined. He removes your clothes with familiar precision and your fingers touch him where you know he likes it.

The grooves of his skin are familiar, his dick entering you slowly as your fingers caress his tanned skin. He looks spectacular underneath you, his skin illuminated by the moonlight. You ride him slowly, you lips adventuring each other, like your bodies are each other’s long lost home territory. Your lips touch again, but it feels like the first time all over again. You feel yourself melting, your brain feels high, your limbs terribly relaxed. You guess this is what true love feels like. There’s nowhere else you’d want to be.

You love him. Only him.

He turns you over, on all fours, one hand gripping your throat and the other around your hair. He thrusts into you - with passion, his lips ghost over your shoulder. You feel your eyes close, the strength to fight the sedation unable to be found. It goes on for a while, and he flattens you onto your stomach. He lays on top of you, his hips gyrating against your skin, his arms encircling your torso. You feel safe, his head laying to rest in between you shoulder and jawline. He inhales your scent and kisses your shoulder, his lips printing their mark on your skin.

He turns you over and takes a deep breath, his eyes hold your entire world. They’ve trapped you into his universe and you have no desire to leave. He’s your whole world and you gave him away on a silver platter - but he’s here. He accommodates himself in between your legs and gives you a hug, his lips find yours in the darkness. The moonlight bathes you generously and he nestles himself inside you again. His lips refuse to leave yours; his thrusts grow in fervour; he wants to bury himself inside you and never leave.

He’s so deeply, and madly in love with you.

He can’t believe you hurt him. He hates you for it.

He pulls away from your kiss, his breathing heavy and slightly laboured.

His hides his face in the nook under your head. You feel like crumpling when you feel tears run over your shoulder, you hug him tighter. You want to stitch his wounds closed, tightly with your bare fingers and your lips. You want to mould your bodies together and live forever in this moment. His fingers reach for your clitoris and he makes love to you in two different ways. Your head lolls back and you feel ecstatic, currents washing over you slowly and you orgasm.

Chris kisses you desperately, swallowing your moans. He thrusts into you, complementing your orgasm. He releases himself into you, slowly moaning into your mouth.

After a few moments he stands up from the lounge chair and heads to the shower, as he walks through the door, he turns to you. He smiles in a way that you understand is an invitation to join him in the shower. You stand slowly, your legs feeling like jelly. You join him for a warm shower, peppered with tender kisses and saccharine touches.

Your bodies unconsciously refuse to part until you’re lying in his bed. He turns off the lamp and lays facing you.

A sweet look embalms his irises. His hand lifts itself to nestle under your cheekbone. He regards you softly.

“I love you,” he whispers, his voice shaky.

You smile sleepily, “I love you too.”

You’re hypnotised to sleep by his soft breaths.

—

The sunlight reflected on the lake wakes you out of you slumber, the first dreamless one you’ve had in months. You turn to the side where Chris is and find nothing but empty air. You sit up quickly; the room is deadly silent. Nothing but your movements on the bed make noise. You scramble out of the bed and look for him.

There’s no trace of him in the room. You let out small wail of desperation. What if it was all a dream?

You pace the room, an uneasy feeling setting itself in your chest. You feel the space between your ribs tighten and your head feel faint. Your legs feel weak and unsteady, you crumple into a heap near the chaise lounge. Your breath feels constricted, massively so. The world begins to spin, and you fall onto your back.

It feels like a heart attack.

You can barely feel your heart.

You drag yourself to the counsel table, desperate to reach the phone. Your hand misses it massively, instead a hotel branded paper flickers down next to you. You pick it up, the tightness in your chest limiting your movement.

I guess this is goodbye, I can’t get over the fact that I’ll never be able to trust you. No matter how much I want to.

I hate you for ruining us

I’ll miss you, forever.

With all my love,

C

--

Parte Quatre -

Tags -

@chvntelle-99, @krispy-toes, @hampass, @calimoi, @saltyflowermakertaco

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

I Caught One Last Sight

Pairing: Christopher Pike x Reader Rating: T Notes: I am meaning for this to be a one-shot... I’m usually well-intentioned like that. Update: It was not a one shot. Masterlist is here Inspired by this song by P!nk: Beam Me Up Warnings: Cursing; some angst; unrequited love Summary: It wasn’t that Christopher Pike was accident prone, he just had liked to have a little fun, make a little noise (you also considered him to be something of a trouble magnet, but you’d never tell him that).

After four years on the Enterprise as a chief security officer, you’d been on your fair number of away missions, had seen your fair number of mishaps, issues, anomalies. They were par for the course. As far as space travel and technology had come, things were still tricky. It didn’t help that your captain had a penchant for getting in trouble. It wasn’t that Christopher Pike was accident prone, he just had liked to have a little fun, make a little noise (you also considered him to be something of a trouble magnet, but you’d never tell him that). Since returning from Discovery, though, he’d been particularly… Daring might’ve been the word he’d use, but ridiculous was the word on the tip of your tongue.

“Nov O-62,” Number One read the planet name off to the other attendants in the ready room, “Class-M, with few inhabitants.” You rested your chin on your hand, raising a brow. She opened a hologram of the planet, pointing to a highlighted section at the top of the planet, “There is one colony - right here. Pre-warp, fairly primitive, so General Order One applies. We’re planning on beaming down here,” Una directed your attention to a spot to the right of the colony, “There’s a deposit of dilithium there. We’ll be able to restock - shouldn’t take too long.” “We’ll be quick enough,” Pike added. “You always say that,” You reminded him, arching a brow. “Maybe one of these days it’ll be true.” He retorted. “There’s a solar storm set to hit within the next two hours,” Spock reported, “It would be prudent of us to beam down before we have a problem.” An argument was poised on your tongue, but Pike nodded before you could say a word. “Suit up, get ready to beam down.” -- “You’re worrying.” He wasn’t asking. Pike could always read you like a book. “I’m a security officer. It’s my job to worry.” You didn’t bother to turn to him from where you were leaning against the wall, looking out of the window in the ready room. “You remember the last solar storm we went through?” You added. It was back when you and Pike were both test pilots, commissioned by the Academy. Pike’s vessel had almost gone down; you’d been horrified, unable to help him. “That was a long time ago,” He pointed out. “Hm.” “And the Enterprise isn’t some vessel that we’re testing. It’ll be fine.” His hands settled on your shoulders as he stopped behind you and added, “We’ll be fine.” You turned your head back toward him a bit, “As fine as it was when we faced catastrophic system-wide failure?” You heard him sigh, “You know, sometimes I don’t think you trust me.” “Of course I trust you,” You turned to face him finally, peering up at him, “But it is possible to trust someone and still be worried for them. I am still talking to the man that apparently had a phaser go off in his chest while I wasn’t around.” “I couldn’t have let it go off anywhere else--” “I’m sure there were alternatives--” “There were people around--” “You could’ve pointed it at-- No, no, you know what? I’m not having this conversation again,” You waved Chris off before stepping around him. You walked over to the hologram of the planet, eyeing the colony and the place that the away team would be beaming to. “You know what amazes me?” You heard Chris ask as he came closer. “What?” “Somewhere out there, there might be a universe where you don’t worry this much.” You huffed, shaking your head. “That is only possible if, within that same universe, you do not get yourself into so much trouble.” “Where’s the fun in that?” He was teasing, trying to cheer you up, and damnit, it was working. You smiled a little bit, shaking your head as you continued to look at the hologram. “...It’ll be fine,” Pike insisted again; his tone was a little more soft now, and you could feel him watching you. You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of your whole-hearted concession, but it didn’t matter; you knew you would follow that man anywhere, and he knew that, too. “Whatever you say, Captain,” You sighed. -- You were concerned the second you stepped onto the transporter pad. It was the way the operator was frowning at the console. “Is everything alright, Ensign?” Number One had asked, and the ensign had nodded and insisted that, of course, everything was fine, there was just some interference from the solar storm. You’d glanced at Pike, but he was staunchly refusing to meet your gaze. “Any concerns regarding transport?” “No, Captain.” “Energize.” -- You didn’t need to be commed by the ship to know that you were in the wrong place. What you did need to do was take a deep breath and swear to the universe that you were never going to have anything to do with a solar storm ever again. Nov O-62 was a desert planet, but you were surrounded by lush, green grass. You looked around and found yourself alone, without the rest of the away team. “It’ll be fine,” You muttered to yourself, mimicking Pike’s voice, “I’m Christopher Pike and solar storms are fun and not at all dangerous.” You pulled your communicator out of your belt. “Enterprise, come in, Enterprise.” You were met with nothing but static. “Great. Awesome,” You grumbled, looking around. You pulled out your handheld PADD - maybe you could get a fix on where exactly on Nov O-62 you were and start working your way back toward the rest of the away team. You frowned when the device wouldn’t get a fix on your location. The map indicated that you weren’t located in any quadrant in the known universe. That-- That had to be a mistake. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself as you began to look around. Higher ground. Maybe if you found higher ground, you could get a better signal and make contact with the Enterprise. You were careful and quiet as you began to walk, looking around. Wherever you were, it was beautiful - quiet, apparently uninhabited-- And then you froze, hearing a child’s laugh from nearby. You plastered yourself against a tree, holding still. The sound was close, but not right up beside you. You listened for it again, frowning when you heard a familiar voice calling, “Willa Jane Pike, get back here! You need to wash up before supper!” You frowned deeply. You knew that voice, you knew that name. You peered around the tree, curious, and you gasped softly. That was… That was you. Well, it wasn’t you, but it was someone that looked exactly like you, that sounded exactly like you-- Had you hit your head when you’d beamed down? … No. No, you’d been on your feet, alright. What was this place? Who was that person? You watched as a little girl ran back to this other you and reached down, tousling her hair and murmuring, “Go on,” Before turning to watch her go. You crept closer, weaving through a few more trees to get a better look at your-not-self. “I think that’s the fastest she’s ever gone in without an argument,” You heard. Your heart dropped through your stomach to your feet. “Well, she’s been out here all day, I think she’s too hungry to argue,” The not-you answered the man that was coming closer. It couldn’t possibly be him. The man was on another planet in another system in, apparently, a ‘known universe’. A known universe… Shit, shit. Fucking solar storms. “Makes for a faster wash-up,” He said. You could see his face more clearly now, and you knew his face as well as your own. That was Pike. That was a Pike. He wasn’t your Pike, no matter how much he might look or sound like him. “It certainly does,” The not-you chuckled. “Think she can be trusted to wash her hands without flooding the bathroom?” He asked. “Why?” Not-you asked. You watched with bated breath as not-Pike’s arms wrapped around not-you’s waist. “‘Cause I’d like a quiet moment with my wife.” You felt your chest tighten at the words; so sweet, and reverent, just before he dipped his head for a kiss. You’d had dreams like this, but to see it in front of you this way was almost worse. At least when you dreamt it, you could push it off as something silly, something that you may want, but could never happen. Now, knowing that somewhere out there, there was something like this, something like you? Every time you and Pike bickered now, you would imagine a whole other kind of conversation happening in a parallel universe, where your daughter (who you’d named after his mother) was out in the backyard, where you and PIke could have your quiet moments. Not-Pike had leaned away from not-you now, and was just smiling, this gentle, contented look. You glanced down as you heard your communicator crackle and were barely able to work out the words, “Commander? -- Enterprise-- Copy?” You glanced back up at the couple of them as you raised the communicator to your lips. “I copy.” “Beaming-- Out--” “Wait!” You breathed, taking one last look at Not-Pike’s face, at the way his eyes crinkled as he smiled. You swallowed thickly before saying, “Beam me up.” -- Number One was in the transporter bay when you were beamed in, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” You felt like you had. -- “Door.” You glanced back as the door to your quarters swished open and Pike strode in. The dilithum had been extracted, and the Enterprise was on its way. You were glad of it. “Are you alright?” He was still walking toward you, and you nodded a little bit, rising from your desk. Chris folded you into his arms and you went willingly. “I’m fine,” You grumbled, even as you leaned into him, “Boyce checked me over and everything.” Chris leaned away, holding you at arm’s length and searching your face. “... You gonna make me wait for you to say it?” He asked. You frowned. “Say what?” “‘I told you so’.” You couldn’t even muster a smile as you huffed a tired laugh. “I’m saving it for another time,” You shook your head, “Everyone else is alright?” “Yes, though I’m sure Una already told you that.” She did, but you were glad to hear it again. “And you’re--” “I’m fine-- Where the hell did you go? Transporter room was able to get a lock on your location, but the coordinates are jumbled, they’re having a hell of a time deciphering it.” You stepped out of Pike’s arms, walking over to your bed and sitting on the edge of it. You rested your elbows on your knees, steadying yourself before you answered, “It wasn’t anywhere in this universe. I don’t care if they work out wherever the hell I was, I’m just lucky I made it back.” Pike’s brow furrowed. “You mean…” You nodded. “Alternate, somewhere. I tried to use my PADD to find you all but it couldn't place me anywhere.” Pike drifted closer, sitting on the bed beside you and frowning. “Maybe it was a PADD malfunction.” “It wasn’t.” “How do you--” “Chris, I know.” You felt him turn his head to look at you. “...What happened?” He asked quietly. It took you a few moments. “Nothing bad.” You sighed, and raked a hand through your hair like that’d push whatever this was away, and glanced in his direction, not quite meeting his eye. “Doesn’t matter, anyway,” You added, “We’re all in one piece, we’re leaving, and I’m never letting you do anything during a solar storm again.” “I’d already come to that decision myself, Commander.” “Well, then it was all worth it, Captain.” You did look at him then, and he was giving you this soft smile, one that made his eyes crinkle. You had to look away, and quickly. “I’m uh-- I should get some rest--” “Of course,” Chris agreed, getting up from your bed, “Ping me if you need anything.” “‘Course. Same goes.” You glanced up as you heard the door closing, and caught one last glimpse of Pike smiling at you. Let it go, you told yourself as you settled into bed, the computer powering the lights down, That woman wasn’t you, that man wasn’t him. You blinked into the darkness, waiting for sleep to come. There was a whole other conversation going on, somewhere out there. One of you, with one of him. One of you, curled up in his arms. You rolled onto your side, closing your eyes. Enough now. General tag list: @angels-pie​ ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta​

[hyungbean]

Locusts (part 2) | Riverdale

Summary: The Southside Serpents seek an alliance with one of the country’s deadliest gangs, The Locusts.

Genre: Slight Angst, Humor?, Some Fluff

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Warning: Cursing, Gang Brawl

A/N: oooHh shoot, my Sweet Pea feels are shooting through the roooof.

Read Part 1 Here 

Sweet Pea found himself gravitating towards Y/N the whole time the Serpents were at the club, although she couldn't complain because she found herself being attracted to the giant teddy bear.

“So are you like the second in command?” Sweet Pea casually swung his arms round the back of her seat, drinking some soda. He knew better than to get drunk and possibly embarrass himself in front of her.

“Not officially. I’m going to be initiated on my 18th birthday, but everyone already treats me like I’m one of them. Perks of being the boss’ daughter I suppose. But since Chris is already 19 he’s the official right hand man for my dad.” You looked ethereal in the neon red lights, your hair falling in waves behind your ears, Sweet Pea found himself resisting the urge to run his fingers through your hair.

“Oh? Well what’s the initiation process like then? You guys kind of go hard core on the punishments so I can only imagine what the initiation to get in is like.” 

You laugh shaking your head, “Nah. It’s not difficult. You have to pledge your undying loyalty to the Locusts and it’s members. The second step I guess you could say is fighting me or Chris. The final step is just getting the tat. I was born into the gang so I just got the tat beforehand.”

“What? I mean it can’t be too hard then right?” Sweet Pea joked, earning him a solid punch to the arm which would surely bruise over the next morning.

“Wrong. Y/N here can throw a mean ass right hook. So to make it fair, father dearest said the rule is to try and stay alive for three minutes in the ring. But Y/N goes soft on them.” The pair look up to see a smirking Chris towering over them drinking straight from a bottle of whiskey.

“Now if you’re both done. My dad wants all the Serpents to head to our private room, we’re going to go over some terms and rules and all that good shit.”

Sighing, Y/N stands up first dusting off her pants and linking her arm with her brother’s before turning to look at Sweet Pea,  “Let’s go sweetie.” 

“It’s sweet pea.” He murmurs under his breathe, his cheeks heating up, throwing his cup over his shoulder.

They lead him towards the back of the club where two large bodyguards step out from the darkness, scaring Sweets so much he pulls out his pocket knife on instinct.

“Down boy.” Y/N says slyly to a tense Sweet Pea, the guards eyeing him suspiciously before opening the velvet doors. They walk down a narrow hallway lit by fluorescent purple neon lights, the booming music reduced to muffled thumping. They arrive inside a small room with a few couches and a pool table in the back.

“Nice of you to join us.” Viper remarks sarcastically, his children rolling their eyes before moving to stand behind his arm chair. 

Once the group is settled in the discussion is started by Viper who casually takes a drag of his cigar. 

“You want to know why I chose to associate myself with you instead of the Ghoulies FP? Because I believe that the Serpents have a greater sense of what brotherhood and loyalty means. I respect that. You and me, the Serpents and Locusts, we ain’t that different from each other.”

“True. And because we aren’t a vessel for pumping illegal drugs. Plus that Malachai son’a bitch ain’t exactly my favorite bitch in my contact book.” Chris says bored, casually flipping his pocket knife around. 

“Language you oaf.” Y/N remarks, snatching his pocket knife out of his reach causing Chris to pout.  

Viper chooses to ignore his kids as if this was a normal occurrences, much to the Serpents bewilderment. 

“You guys don’t deal drugs?” Toni asks, causing FP to look at her like this was already common knowledge. 

Sweet Pea narrows his eyes a little.

A high and mighty gang of practical assassins, making it to the top without dabbling in drugs?

“No. We deal weapons and favors. Gangs approach us all the time in our other bases in Vegas to ask for a favor, we happily oblige of course, but they are now in our debt. And we intend to make great use of their repayment.” Viper says proudly while leaning forwards, his eyes gleaming darkly. He looked powerful and radiated an aura of dominance, one that erased all doubts that the Serpents had before. Y/N and Chris grin at them as if sensing discomfort.

“The Ghoulies approached you guys?” FP asked after a few silent moments, also leaning forward in his seat.

“That’s right. Came by a few nights ago.. that Malachai kid got hit real good by my boy here.” Viper says disapprovingly to his son, shaking his head.

“He had it coming. You didn’t hear what he was saying about Y/N. Those wannabe nascar drivers got no respect for us, should have killed that pig when  I had the chance.” Chris huffs, staring daggers at the wall, Y/N setting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Well they can’t be too happy about getting trashed like expired cafeteria meatloaf can they?” Cheryl asks from behind Toni, eyes flickering from Viper to Y/N. 

“Probably not, but we can take them easily, what are they gonna do? Beat us in  a race really hard?” Chris remarks smartly, letting out a snort. 

“Don’t jinx it Chris. I don’t trust those ghouls.”

Before anyone could answer a few men burst through the door, holding brass knuckles and a few knives visibly poking out of their pockets.

“Sir, The Ghoulies are here, pretty sure a fight is about to break out.” One of them says in a dangerously low voice. Viper sighs, rubbing his temples.

“do they have guns?” 

“No sir.”

“A fist fight? My specialty.” Chris says, cracking his neck. 

“Told you not to jinx it dumbass. Now we actually have to kill a few people tonight, and I liked this shirt.” Y/N mumbles, running a hand through her hair.

The Serpents look at Viper, not exactly ready to march into a gang brawl. The siblings strut out, Chris wielding his brass knuckles while Y/N swings around his baseball bat, humming a song.

Sweet Pea’s eyes trail after Y/N, seeing how relaxed and in control she was, and he felt a sense of pride knowing she could take care of herself.

“No worries FP. My kids have this under control, why don’t you and your friends join us upstairs to watch the show, after all you all are the guest of honor.” Viper says getting up and clapping FP’s shoulder, leaving to lead them further down the hall. The serpents follow hesitantly, Toni moving to hold Cheryl’s hand. Once they turn a corner, they see a lone elevator with a couple of body guards waiting. 

“Balcony sir?” 

Viper hums in confirmation, going into the elevator first. Followed by the tense Serpents who look in front of them in anticipation. 

“Oh and make sure to get the mop and my brother on the line. I have a feeling a shit ton of my property is going to be damaged in a few moments.”

“Of course sir.”

‘How are they taking this so lightly. What the hell.’ Sweet Pea thought, watching as the elevator panel beeped and shifted from a 1 to a B. Once they step out, they hear the commotion almost instantly, recognizing Malachai’s voice. He was yelling profanities and as they reached the edge of the balcony they see the Locusts and a few dozen Ghoulies standing on opposite sides of the club, Malachai yelling up at Chris. 

It would have been funny in any other circumstance as Chris was almost a whole foot taller than Malachai. Chris stands there almost amused, clenching his fists while Y/N stands a little behind him, baseball bat over her shoulder. 

The Locusts stand tall, some weilding large daggers and chains. While majority of the Ghoulies looked like they wanted to be anywhere else but there.

When Malachai notices that his approach isn’t working, he looks around and sees Y/N standing behind Chris, his face morphing into a shit eating grin. 

“I don’t know how you do it Chris. If Y/N was always around me like that, I have no idea what the hell I’d do.” Sweet Pea feels himself tense and grow strangely furious at Malachai. He wishes he could be down there, pummeling the trash bag into the ground, although Chris beat him to it. The taller boy brings his fist down straight into Malachai’s temple, his body crumpling to the ground. 

Shit. Hope he’s not dead.

And that’s when all hell breaks loose as The Locusts and Ghoulies start engaging in a violent exchange of fists and knives, the noise of tables breaking and glass shattering storms in the ears of the Serpents. 

Jughead turns to Viper, “Will they be okay?” 

Viper quirks an eyebrow, “of course my boy, no need to worry. This will be over soon. But shit! Did they have to break all my stuff! This shit costs money too.”

“What about Y/N?” Sweet Pea asks, eyes searching the sea of black leather and broken tables for the small girl. Out of the corner of his eyes he sees Viper looking at him in amusement.

“You have nothing to worry about. If anything I’m more worried for Chris. That boy is strong for sure, but he isn’t as good of a fighter as his sister. He punches first before thinking. Y/N however eggs on her opponent, letting them show off all their moves. She learns their fighting style and knows how to beat them. And she always beats them one way or another. That girl is lethal. You should see her with her knives.. never misses.” Viper says proudly, although it seems as if he were talking to himself. 

Fangs claps Sweet Pea’s shoulder, “don’t worry, she’ll be fine dude, that’s one tough chick if I ever seen one.”

Sweet Pea nods, he couldn’t explain his quick attraction to the girl but he knew that he’d like to have her around in his life for a long time. 

All was going well as it seemed that the Locusts had the upper hand, many of the Ghoulies were laying unconscious around the club, some even bleeding out. 

FP whistles while his eyes raked over the unconscious lumps on the floor. “Y’all some trained fighters? I don’t see any of your Locusts laying around.”

“Not exactly, but we do train them intensely. It’s hard to become a Locust, and even harder to remain as a Locust. A lot of our members drop out because they’re not able to keep up with the life-style. It is what it is. But we still provide protection to those who leave.” Viper says, smiling genuinely at FP. 

“Great. A little gang boot camp.” Cheryl mumbles, causing Toni to crack a smile. 

However their attention is drawn towards the fight again when they hear your voice ring out loudly in the crowd. 

“Chris!”

-

A/N: part three coming at ya soon ! ;)

taglist: (comment if you want to be on the series’ taglist)

@cvvlxx @whenallsaidanddone

[lyouna]

The story of Josh Dun

Joshua William “Josh” Dun is an American musician. Best known for being the drummer for the band Twenty One Pilots. He was born in Columbus, Ohio, on June 18, 1988. His star sign is Gemini. He has two sisters named Ashley and Abigail and a brother named Jordan.

Since his childhood, he was always terrified by talking in front of people even if it was a small group of it. However, when he is playing drums he does not feel that way, he is not as vulnerable as that when it comes to talking.

He self-taught when he was around 12 how to play drums, and worked at the Guitar Center for 3 years. He also worked with former Twenty One Pilots drummer Chris Salih, through whom he would eventually meet Tyler Joseph.

Dun's first foray into the music industry was with an alternative/Christian rock band House of Heroes. He joined the band through their drummer, Colin Rigsby, who was taking a break to spend time with his family. Dun played alongside the band on tour from March to October 2010 when Rigsby returned to his role. 

"I would lay in my bed every night with sticks and hit my knees trying to figure out what they were doing, like, 'Okay, now they're hitting the ride cymbal, and now it's the snare and now the crash.' I would dissect everything that I watched or listened to. Every day I would walk to the local music store and play their electronic drums until one of the workers would be like, 'Hey, we have people in here that actually want to buy stuff so you've gotta go.' I did that for about a year and that's essentially how I learned to play some basic beats."

Throughout both middle school and high school, he didn't have a lot of money and it helps him to be more creative. He even thought about finding pieces of wood and figure it out how to make them in a drum. Figure out how they would sound with different holes in it, with different types of wood... Nevertheless, at this end, he said that the best drum set he had was one of SJC Drums.

He likes nothing more to do than to play drums; in fact, he plays the exact same way when he is in a dark room by himself and when he is in front of thousands of people. He said that he wants to be creative and just to get outside of the box even if that sounds weird.

He said that although his inspiration comes from some drummers, his greatest inspiration is his parents. Indeed, he starts playing drums in a sort of rebellious state again them and that turns into them being more than supportive.

In 2011, upon the invite of co-worker and the band's drummer Chris Salih, Dun attended a Twenty One Pilots show after listening to their original demo CD.  Josh first saw Twenty One Pilots at a club on the Ohio State campus. “I loved everything about the show except for one thing: I wasn’t onstage playing also,” he says. After the show, he met lead singer and future bandmate Tyler Joseph, and a couple of days later began to build a friendship with him. It would be another year before Joseph’s original drummer quit and Dun got the job, but they had become best friends in the meantime.

By 2012, Joseph had grown into a ferocious performer, climbing the scaffolding and diving into audiences. The duo became the biggest band in central Ohio, putting every spare penny into the band and focusing intensely on their local fans. They filmed much of the “Stressed Out” video at Dun’s childhood home, so it has become a destination for Twenty One Pilots fans.

 The highest point of his sort of musical journey was (according to his words) when he played for a college show at Ohio University. It was full of drunken kids, one of them even tried to pee on his drums and then on their merch. They eventually played one song and after it, the police shut them down. However, he said that it was the first show that he played with Tyler Joseph. He realized during this one song that he was playing with his best friend and he will never forget that.

The duo then released the band’s second studio album, Regional at Best. It was self-released on July 8, 2011. Regional at Best is a discontinued album. It is the last album released by the band prior to signing a record deal with Fueled by Ramen, and it is the first album to feature the talents of Josh Dun.

Josh Dun was raised in conservative, religious households. Video games and most rocks or hip-hop albums were banned. "I’d hide albums like Green Day’s Dookie under my bed," Dun says. "Sometimes they’d find them and get real mad. They’d find a Christian alternative, like Relient K, and make me listen to that."

For a while, the only movies allowed in the house came from CleanFlicks, a Christian company that took Hollywood movies and edited out all the profanity, sexuality and violence. For a young Dun, it made watching movies like The Terminator quite confusing. "Some scenes they’d remove entirely," he says. "Watching those movies was an absolutely awful experience."

By the time he was a teenager, Josh was rebelling hard. "I just had this aggression," he says, noting that his parents nearly kicked him out when he was 14. "They almost sent me to a military school. They did not know what to do with me, and I was always in detention. I never got into drugs or alcohol, but I would yell at my parents and just treat them terribly. Everything was an argument. Looking back, they were trying their best."

When his parents fell asleep, he would break out his punk-pop CDs; eventually, they softened up on rock music, allowing him to assemble a drum kit in his basement piece by piece with his own money. After he said this to some interviewers, he called his parents to explain himself.

"I actually called my parents after some articles came out – I never wanted for them to be painted in a bad light.

‘I’m so thankful for the way that I was raised. Ultimately, the idea of parents being strict or having rules, looking back, I did have a really rebellious phase and did whatever I could to do the opposite of what they wanted.

‘That’s all on me. For them, I think they were trying to do their best to raise me as best they could. They were trying to make the best decisions for me, and looking back, I can see they were the right decisions.

‘As I look at the rules I had, I wasn’t allowed to play video games or watch TV, so I went outside and made up games with my neighbourhood friends or built dirt ramps and rode our bikes over them.

‘I would be out from morning to night. I look at that, and I can’t imagine it if my parents had let me sit in and watch TV all day – I’d be a different person to who I am today, it’s thanks to them saying ‘‘get out and go do something"

He did not go to college, moving in with a bunch of buddies instead and playing in local bands while scraping by working in the drum department of Guitar Center. "I was going nowhere," he says. "One day I said to my dad, ‘Are you disappointed that I’m working a minimum-wage job and I didn’t go to college?’ I’ll never forget his response. He said, ‘It’s not about how much money you make or what your job is, but it’s more about your character. For that, I’m proud of you.’ It gave me motivation."

During an interview, Josh said “We’re always questioning things,” he says, “but I guess it’s safe to say that we’re both Christians.”

Although Columbus is still very much the Pilots’ base, Josh actually moved out to L.A a couple of years ago in pursuit of more sunshine while Tyler remained there. However, he says it has not made them working together any more difficult. “I’m equally in Columbus as much as I am there. We discussed this a lot before I moved out there. I always feared talking about us being in different places because I think that can be confusing to people from an outside standpoint - like are you guys still friends? Are you still in the band? We had so many conversations about logistics, but first of all, we’re together more than we’re not together over the course of a year. We’re on the phone every day and with technology, it’s so easy to get things done.”

On January 8, 2013, Vessel was born, it was their first album after signing with Fueled By Ramen and it received mainstream exposure. On May 17, 2015, Blurryface was released and the band received international success.

In July 2017, Twenty One Pilots went on hiatus for a year whilst they worked on their next album. On October 5, 2018, Trench was released, it was also a commercial success, reaching number one in six countries, including Australia, New Zealand, Spain, and the Netherlands and number two in several countries, notably the United Kingdom and the United States, as well as selling more than a million copies worldwide.

Therefore, he needed to learn how to deals with notoriety, he had the help of Tyler Joseph (of course), his family, and Debby Ryan. Indeed, from May 2013 to September 2014, he had a relationship with her. They got back together a few years later and in December 2018, Josh posted on Instagram his engagement to Debby in New Zealand during the second leg of The Bandito Tour. He wrote, «I found a tree house in the woods in New Zealand and proposed to my girl. She my dude for life. I love you Debby".

She also posts about it «My dude asked me on a date. I said yeah because I always want to go on dates with him. Then he asked me to be his forever dude. He does things well, and right. His timing has pressed us and never failed us. He's sincere and fun and disciplined and strong as heck and a nerd and a rockstar and a good midwestern man and a silly shirtless boy, and his family is endlessly warm and delightful and are such champions. I have two parents and a brother; they're superheroes and they're my home. They've been the only thing that moves my needle with the fierceness of deep empathy. I have never that out in the world. I guess I figured it wasn't a connection you could stumble upon, only something you could only be born into. Falling in love with joshua was discovering it in the wild. Building it with him, building in certainty, infinite in wonder. Our own lil family. Feels like growing up and moving through life is just evolving through different types of complicated. He is where all the voices narrow into one sound. My only simplicity, where the important things are clear and the other things aren't that important. He's my heart outside my body. He's a cold water awakening a warm bed; he's the place I can rest. Dudes for life. It was a really good date."

Josh has many tattoos and every single one have a strong signification. Firstly, John Graefe tattooed his right arm and then tell the story of it. “I was tattooing in Hollywood and he came in with bandmate, Tyler. They weren’t half as big as they are today and I had no idea at first. I just asked him the whole meaning behind his tattoo and he asked me to come up with the vision.”

 The tattoo on his right arm had a blue geometric-like image or something that looks like a galaxy. Below is the image of nature. The musician mentioned that he would share this if it’s personally asked, but he did not want it spreading all over the Internet.

Both he and Tyler have an "X" tattoo on their body symbolizing their dedication to their hometown fans in Columbus, Ohio. They received it on stage during their hometown show at the Lifestyle Communities Pavilion on April 26, 2013. Dun's is located on his neck behind his right ear.

In October 2015, Tyler and Josh asked their fans to choose one of them among themselves via a vote on Twitter. The winner should have his name on the loser on stage. For 24 hours, the two boys shot several videos parodying the presidential debates on topics such as Christmas music or their favorite drink, the Red bull. The results of the vote were equal. Therefore, Dun sports the name "Tyler" above his left knee.

Josh has a tattoo on the inside of his left arm dedicated to his mom. A heart with "mom" written inside of it.  Which she answers on Instagram by “These past few months have been exciting seeing how far Josh and Tyler have gone. But it’s been a little hard for me as a mother to feel like I have to share my son with the world. Josh, you getting this tattoo means so much to me. I love you and now your stuck with Mom forever! <3”

He has a drum tattoo on his left arm.

Chantelle Thong made his last tattoo during the Bandito Tour, on December 2018. It represents an astronaut/spaceman flipping, while simultaneously being abducted or levitating into a spaceship. It might be a reference to March to the sea. Fans assumed that the spaceman is Josh Dun.

[revwinchester]

New Vessel

Summary: Gabriel is back but in order to really help the Winchesters, he needs a new vessel.

Characters: Gabriel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Arthur Ketch (mentioned), Asmodeus (mentioned), Mary Winchester (mentioned), Jack (mentioned)

Word Count: 983

Warnings: cursing, mention of past torture, angel possession

A/N: So, I read this article about Dean in the coming episodes (there are some vague season 13 spoilers if you read it) and this was the first thing that popped into my head.  I couldn’t focus on anything else until I got it down on paper and I’m not convinced that something like this won’t actually happen...

Also, I’m making this an entry into the @gabriel-monthly-challenge for March!  One of the prompts was a song called Broken Halos by Chris Stapleton and the chorus really feels like it fits this one.  I’m hoping to write another with one or more of the other amazing prompts, too!

New Vessel - 

Seen my share of broken halos Folded wings that used to fly They've all gone wherever they go Broken halos that used to shine      - Broken Halos by Chris Stapleton

“I can’t do it.”  Gabriel’s voice was firm and steady, despite the fact that he hadn’t been able to use it for much of the past decade.  With Ketch’s help, Sam, Dean, and Cas had been able to break him out of the prison Asmodeus had created for him.  The brothers had loaded the archangel into the back of the Impala and then driven him back to the bunker where they began to nurse him back to health.  It had been slow going but, after they had convinced Gabriel that they were real and not just another hallucination created to torture him into submission, he had started making real progress.  

With Sam standing at his side, Dean had just told Gabriel about their predicament.  They still hadn’t been able to track down a way to get to Jack and Mary.  They had all the ingredients to open the portal except one - the grace of an archangel.  They didn’t need all of it, Sam had assured him, and Castiel was willing to share his grace with Gabriel until he had returned to his full power but the recently rescued archangel had still bristled at the idea.

Dean pursed his lips at Gabriel’s response.  “You can’t or you won’t?” he asked harshly, all of the men tense as his words brought back flashes of nearly a decade ago when Dean had asked him the same question.  Gabriel had stayed quiet that time but now he had an answer.

Sam beat him to speaking, though, and grabbed his brother’s arm in warning, a quiet “Dean,” muttered under his breath but the older man shrugged him off.

“No, Sam, we risked our asses to pull him out of hell,” he said, his eyes trained on Gabriel.  “He owes us this.”

Sam was about to respond, likely something about how he had already nearly died for them once, Gabriel assumed, but the archangel spoke up before the younger Winchester could take them all further on the trip down memory lane.  

“Can’t.”  He stared Dean down, the hunter taking a step backwards under his scrutiny.  “Not in this vessel.  It’s not strong enough for me to survive with depleted grace, yet.”  

Dean looked the weakened angel over and Gabriel could tell he was deciding whether or not he believed his story.  The human squared his shoulders and stood up a little straighter, emphasizing the difference in height between him and the archangel in front of him.  “If we can find you another vessel you could do it?”

Gabriel arched a brow, interested in where this line of questioning was going, and nodded.

Dean’s lips pursed again as he sucked at his top teeth in thought.  “Then, yes.”

Gabriel saw Sam’s eyebrows shoot up at Dean’s words and he knew he had a similar expression on his own face.  Even after all these years, humans still had the power to surprise him.  

Sam reached for his brother again, this time not allowing his grip to be shaken off.  “Dean, what the hell?  What are you doing?”

The older Winchester didn’t take his eyes off of Gabriel as he replied to his brother.  “We said we’d do whatever it took to get them back, Sam.  If this is what it takes, I’m in.”  He paused for a minute, waiting for Gabriel to do or say something.  When the archangel didn’t move, continued speaking.  “Come on, I was literally created for Michael to wear me like a cheap suit.  Handling you should be a piece of cake,” Dean prodded.

Gabriel stepped forward and nodded.  “If that’s the way you want it.  Heck, I’ll even let you out to play when we’re sucking on Castiel’s neck.”  Gabriel knew he was antagonizing the hunter but he didn’t care.  It was a stupid plan but, if what the brothers had shared was true, it was the only one they had to bring Mary Winchester and Jack back to the world in which they belonged.  A nephilim in the hands of Michael - especially a Michael who had claimed apocalyptic victory - was not a scenario that he wanted to imagine.  However, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to push Dean’s buttons in order to give the human a chance to back out.

Dean’s nostrils flared but he didn’t take the bait.

“I made this vessel for myself and I’ll want it back once we’re done,” Gabriel announced.

Dean almost laughed, a short burst of air escaping through his nose in disbelief.  “Oh, don’t you worry, I’m kicking your ass out as soon as this is over.”  

“Well, aren’t you just Mr. Hospitality, Dean-o,” Gabriel coldly joked, still trying to alienate the hunter.  “Here’s my terms: I’ll do this for you on the condition that you bring me back here to this universe to return to my vessel and that you call off your hunt for Asmodeus.  Once I’m back to full power, his demonic ass is mine.”

Dean scoffed at the fact that Gabriel thought he might expel him and leave him behind in the other world.  Sure, he wasn’t the archangel’s biggest fan but he wasn’t cruel, either.  That was a conversation - or, more likely, a confrontation - for another time, though and Dean quickly replied.  “Deal.”

The trio walked to the library, the corridors silent apart from their footsteps.  Once they arrived, Dean prayed for Castiel to join them.  Gabriel was going to need to top off his grace once they took some from him.  Cas would be weakened after that but he would still be able to make sure that Gabriel’s body remained hospitable to host the archangel upon their return.

As soon as Cas arrived, Gabriel sat down in one of the chairs.  “I need to hear you say it again, Dean.”

“Yes.”

The room flashed white and Gabriel’s vessel slumped over lifeless in its chair as Dean’s eyes glowed blue with grace.

GMC Peeps: @archangel-with-a-shotgun @archangelsanonymous @lacqueluster @ashiewesker

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Gabriel tags from @mrswhozeewhatsis: @mrswhozeewhatsis @vintagevalentinexx @thinkwritexpress-official @itsemmyb @crzcorgi @deerlululucy @walkingencyclopediaoffandom @mrsjohnsmith @manawhaat @growleytria @thegleegeneration @samtomydeanwinchester @supermoonpanda @sis-tafics @meganwinchester1999 @kittenofdoomage @ferferelli @Lilyoflothlorien @olitzisbae @the-morning-star-falls @roxy-davenport @chrisatplay @bkwrm523 @faith-in-dean @kreborn17 @for-the-love-of-dean @sleep-silent-angel @trenchcoats-and-bees @curliesallovertheplace @not-so-natural-spn @skybinx-blog @thebunkerismyhome @feelmyroarrrr @winchesters-princess @katnharper @tia58 @deansleather @castiels-forbidden-angel  @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @winchesterswoonathon @jotink78 @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @babypieandwhiskey @wayward-mirage @mysaintsasinner @shelovesallthethings @bohowitch @alangel1895 @evilskank-inthemegacoven @winchestersmolder @hunterpuff

[atmickeywhite]

2020 Favorite Albums

Hi friends,  So each year, I put together a list of 50 or so of my favorite albums on Twitter. This year, I’m shifting that to tumblr and using words, etc.. And fortunately, I took a long enough break from playing Wu-Tang in Brittany’s car to listen to new music. So a bit on music -- staying current on new music, making playlists, sharing with friends and learning the history has always had its way of cementing my memories. It’s been a great way to recall dreary bus rides and summer walks around Portage Park, the loneliness of working nights and the utter joy is was to become adults with Desirae.  2020 cranked the existential shit to 11.  In January, I had moved after a brutal 14-month situation in my last apartment. In February, my childhood friend’s little sister passed away. In March, the lockdowns happened. In April, I got fired. In May, I decided to move out of state. I spent a third of June traipsing around Chattanooga before finally moving there in mid-July. August was filled with impossibly long bike rides in the Georgia rain and summer heat. September was the heart of a frustrating job search and extensive dental work. COVID came roaring back in October. My anxiety caught up to me really hard in November and December hasn’t had the greatest start, either. That’s not to speak on what the homies went through this year, and it was a lot. But we keep it pushing.  The point is that life is constantly kicking our ass and these are fifty albums that helped me get some reprieve from all of that, whether is was listening or sharing or just going back and forth with Tyler about what’s new and relevant. To that end, this year saw the cementing of Griselda is a legacy street rap act, the rise of HAUS of ALTR as a preeminent techno label and surprise turns from artists that exist in a staid major-label milieu (Dua Lipa, Lil’ Uzi Vert). Stalwarts like Sada Baby, Shinichi Atobe, Angel Marcloid and Actress stayed on repeat. Jazz, metal and folk weirdos rear their head from time to time. Acts peaked and self-destructed. I left the individual writing of the albums to people get paid to be better than me at this stuff. History, context and a feel for what the albums sound like is more useful than me painting a picture of what riding your bike around Lookout Mountain with no breaks is like.  If you check any of these out and like what you hear, I highly encourage you to buy (directly from the artist’s Bandcamp page, if applicable). And remember, taste is built in cars, not in large public places.  25 Honorable Mentions: Anunaku - Stargate Anz - Loos In Twos (NRG) Arbor Labor Union - New Petal Instants Conway The Machine - From a King to a God Drive-By Truckers - The New OK Duval Timothy - Help Eartheater - Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin Eiko Ishibashi - Impulse of the Ribbon Fiona Apple - Fetch The Bolt Cutters Four Tet - Sixteen Oceans Gabriel Garzon-Montano - Aguita GB - 186.22 Ian William Craig - Red Sun Through Smoke Jerry Paper - Abracadabra  Kali Uchis - Sin Miedo Lucinda Williams - Good Souls, Better Angels Machinedrum - A View of You Margo Price - That’s How Rumors Get Started Mary Lattimore - Silver Ladders MJ Guider - Sour Cherry Bell Park Hye-Jin - How can I Quelle Chris / Chris Keys - Innocent Country 2 Ringo Deathstarr - Ringo Deathstarr Soul Glo - Songs To Yeet At The Sun Trees Speak - Shadow Forms

50 - A Pregnant Light - You Cannot Pour From An Empty Vessel "These songs were written and recorded in 2017, and in a haze of... well, just imagine the bad sort of things that cause a haze over one's life. These songs were lost. In the process of cleaning out some tapes and recording sessions, these songs were found and completed in 2020. It's a bridge between where APL was three years ago, and now. It was so strange to hear these forgotten songs and go in and finish them. It was like collaborating with a person I used to know. It was an odd experience, but turned out fruitful." - A Pregnant Light Bandcamp Page 49 - Rian Treanor - File Under UK Metaplasm "We hardly need any convincing on the quality of Rian Treanor's productions as he's been completely unfuckwithable from day one, but "File Under UK Metaplasm" is still next damn level.Rian bashed out the initial demos on returning from a trip to Uganda in 2018 for Nyege Nyege Festival. Inspired by the producers he'd collaborated with in Kampala, he switched up his workflow and began jamming out ideas at higher tempos, harnessing the energy of singeli music without simply carbon copying the style. Initial sketches were eventually fleshed into proper tracks and tested on audiences (and on soundsystems) around the world where Rian could assess the power of each element.It was worth the hard work, the result is a fiery set of tunes that sound like everything at once and nothing at all. Opener 'Hypnic Jerks' is ragged kick-bubbling 200-bpm club on secondment to Tanzania; 'Vacuum Angle' is wobbly DMT-step that sounds like an attempt to use aging educational computer software to power the Stargate; 'Mirror Instant' is shuffling bassline house kicked up to 45rpm; 'Opponent Process' is EP7-era Autechre with the fun switch turned on; 'Debouncing' is double-speed grime that glides into parts unknown. By the time the album reaches a close on 'Orders From The Pausing', a melancholic gabber tune with an almost inverted, whisper-soft kick (?), Rian suddenly introduces reverb to the mix, just because he can.Peerless, unfathomably inventive electronic music from the North of England, via East Africa - fucking essential." - Boomkat Product Review 48 - Sex Swing - Type II “Fuck,” I thought when I first heard it. “This really, really rocks.” - Adam Lehrer, The Quietus

47 - Yves Tumor - Heaven to a Tortured Mind

"In that way, Heaven to a Tortured Mind is the most straightforward record in Tumor’s catalog. It’s an album with commercial, or at least mass, appeal in mind. And it seems to confirm something Tumor hinted at in a 2016 interview about their musical aspirations: “I only want to make hits. What else would I want to make?” The product of this ambition is a gratifying and intense record, one whose pleasures are viscerally immediate. Above all, it’s loads of fun to watch Tumor don the guise of a devilish rockstar. It’s not exactly a new archetype in our cultural imagination, but the ravishing delight Tumor brings to this character is what makes their music so affecting. Yves is a performer whose roles, played with the utmost rigor, always find a way to linger in the memory." - Kevin Lozano, Pitchfork

46 - DJ Taye - PYROT3K

"Pop music moves fast: new instructional-dance songs, new Drake songs, and new instructional-dance songs by Drake can bombard the zeitgeist one week and all but evaporate the next. Footwork, the lightning-fast Chicago-born house subgenre, is well suited to capture that frenetic pace. Young footwork master and Teklife member DJ Taye instinctively understands how to combine footwork’s adrenaline rush with the pop’s euphoric glee to build tracks with a distinctive energy. Last month he self-released Pyrot3k, the third entry in the Pyrotek mixtape series he launched in October. On the latest volume—also available in a deluxe version called Pyrot3k (SS)—he focuses on blissful melodies and antsy samples. On “Gang,” for example, he loops a snippet of JackBoys’ “Gang Gang” into a hypnotic koan at a speed that makes the original sound like it’s stuck in the mud. Several of Taye’s friends, including Teklife members DJ Earl and Heavee, join in on the fun, and I’m especially partial to his collaboration with Night Slugs label owner James Connolly, aka L-Vis 1990. On “Parade Float,” the two producers whimsically intertwine Morse code beeps and battering-ram gabber-style kick drum to manifest a cartoonish energy that seems to gather itself and balloon outward during the song’s tiny silences. - Leor Galil, Chicago Reader

45 - Hudson Mohawke - Poom Gems

"At the moment, nothing can stop Hudson Mohawke. After a hiatus from his solo work, the Scottish producer started his summer by releasing his first single under his HudMo title since 2016, “BENT” with JIMMY EDGAR. Since then, he’s only upped the ante, with his inexhaustible activity culminating in his first solo LP in four years, Big Booty Hiking Exhibition. Now, HudMo is back with his second album in a month’s time.

Poom Gems can be thought of as a companion album to Big Booty Hiking Exhibition, as both comprised previously unreleased tracks that Mohawke has been sitting on. Like Big Booty Hiking Exhibition, Poom Gems ranges from some of HudMo’s most off-the-wall beats yet to his classic, unreplicable, and bombastic sound, though as a whole, Poom Gems is more accessible than it’s predecessor. After almost no announcement before Poom Gems‘ release, only one question remains: how much more is to come amid Mohawke’s return?" - Mitchell Rose, Dancing Astronaut

44 - Shinichi Atobe - Yes

"The stately, melodic techno and deep house made by Shinichi Atobe—a resident of Saitama City, just north of Tokyo—puts me in mind of his country's devotion to orderly calm. One of two non-European artists to appear on Basic Channel's legendary Chain Reaction imprint, Atobe took 13 years off before the archival Butterfly Effect album arrived via DDS in 2014. His re-emergence into the dance music world has been one of the decade's most welcome surprises.

Yes is his fifth album for DDS. Demdike Stare states their communication with Atobe is limited to a CD that arrives in the post every so often, "no words except for the track titles." The first circulated photo of Atobe was included with the Yes CD-R, perhaps to quell rumors Shinichi Atobe is an alias of another Chain Reaction artist. He's never granted an interview.

He doesn't need to. Each Atobe album feels like the latest installment in a serial novel, a body of work mysterious in its ability to mix calm rhythms and atmospheres with achingly beautiful melodies. As usual, Yes will sate the small group of obsessives that smash the pre-order on each new Atobe album. He's nearly always in top form. The title track's hopeful mix of synth and house-y piano stand up to Atobe's other melodic classics "Heat 1" and "The Butterfly Effect." "Lake 3" contains Atobe's most boisterous synth theme to date, the '90s Carl Craig-esque figure mixing with Atobe's signature sad piano and, in a novel twist, hand drums.

The progression in Atobe's work is incremental. Beyond the title-track, Yes mostly does away with the classy, tech house-style snap prevalent on 2018's Heat. For an artist that emerged as a model of consistency, Atobe takes a surprising amount of left turns. The closing cut "Ocean 1" is Atobe's placid take on a synth-funk jam. The opener "Ocean 7" is beatless, with hectic arpeggios. In the background of that track, there's a peaceful drone that runs throughout. A similar tone runs in the background on the entirety of "Lake 3." These touches imbue Atobe's sonic world with its own concept of gaman, enveloping the listener in an eerie sense of calm." - Matt McDermott, Resident Advisor

43 - Various Artists - HOA 012

"Did you think we were done?

The story is not over, but only beginning. HOA012, We come together as a unit, to continue our story. A story that needs to be told. For those of you just joining us, welcome. For those of you returning, welcome back. Now fully on the path, we march toward a future of unabashed black electronic expression." - HAUS of ALTR bandcamp page

42 - Garcia Peoples - Nightcap At Wits' End

"New Jersey-based avant-jam band Garcia Peoples were a little slow to take shape, but after the release of their excitable 2018 album Cosmic Cash, they switched into overdrive. Constant live performances, residencies, concert documents, and prolifically recorded studio albums tracked a creative development that morphed from record to record. The group took cues from the open-ended improvisation of classic jam band acts like Phish and the Grateful Dead, but also incorporated dual-guitar wizardry on par with Television or, in their more Southern-fried moments, the Allmann Brothers. For their 2019 album One Step Behind, the band expanded to a six-piece lineup and added avant-jazz touches to the equation as they stretched out over the course of a half-hour-long title track. With Nightcap at Wits' End, Garcia Peoples shift gears yet again, with a set of neatly composed and relatively concise tunes that distill their wandering impulses into easily digestible forms. This can take the form of rowdy prog-lite tunes like album opener "Gliding Through" or the shadowy but mystical folk-rock of "Altered Place." In this more composed rock mode, the band recalls the shadowy mystique of early Bay Area psychedelic giants like Jefferson Airplane as much as they do obscure acts like Anonymous and Relatively Clean Rivers. After a lively start, the album shifts into mellower territory with the drifty "Fire of the Now." "Painting a Vision That Carries" is made up of delicate vocal harmonies and a dynamic structure that goes from controlled acoustic segments to blasting verses and back. As this song burns on into a vamping jam, the band's Dead-like tendencies come to the surface with noodling guitar leads and dazzling group interplay. The second half of Nightcap at Wits' End becomes a string of woozy and meandering pieces that blur into one another in clouds of hazy jamming. Themes resurface as the band shuffles through meditative riffing on "Crown of Thought," Krautrock-y interludes, and the blissfully droning Popol Vuh-esque "A Reckoning." Garcia Peoples' excellent psychedelia manages to recall moments from past masters while still offering a chemistry and composition unique to the band. Nightcap at Wits' End is the most complete articulation of their wide-reaching creative range, and stands as the their most focused and engaging work to date." - Fred Thomas, AllMusic

41 - Nonlocal Forecast - Holographic Universe(s)?

"Angel Marcloid's recordings as Nonlocal Forecast focus the trajectory of a vast catalog squarely in the realm of retro Weather Channel-inspired smooth jazz fusion, intricate prog, and expansive new age experiments. Trading off a measure of the typically overloaded compositional style found in other projects to favor lush atmospheres and relatively pared down arrangements, Marcloid populates Nonlocal Forecast pieces with progressive keyboard and synth harmonies, complex drum programming, and majestic leads performed on guitar, keyboards, and guests' saxophones. The project runs alongside the omni-combinatory works of the flagship project Fire-Toolz and many other monikers including the vapor-focused works of Mindspring Memories. Holographic Universe(s?)!, the second Nonlocal Forecast full-length and the first to be released on vinyl, follows Bubble Universe! with a cycle of songs that elevates Marcloid's grandiose compositions to previously undiscovered heights, while packing the music with dramatic shifts that allow it to journey off into dynamic new directions." - Fatbeats product summary

40 - Black Dresses - Peaceful As Hell

"The Canadian noise-pop duo’s music conjures a psychotic slumber party, or a Second Life rave, but remains grounded in the bittersweet beauty of lifelong friendship. " - Leah Mandel, Pitchfork

39 - Kelly Lee Owens - Inner Song

"Owens’ self-titled debut album played with sounds that felt spiritual, almost new age, like the tablas on “S.O.” and sitar drone on “8.” On Inner Song, that meditative quality comes less from instrumental texture and more from the actual form of the songs. Though she drifts across tempos and dabbles with a variety of drum patterns, loops—both instrumental and lyrical—provide the record’s through line. On “Wake-Up,” life’s circular patterns are made explicit: “Wake up/Repeat again/Again.” Owens writes with clarity and simplicity, using her own voice as something like a synthesizer, processing a phrase and then repeating it as she sings subtle variations in timbre and tone. Her lyrics are, in their own quiet way, a celebration of the pleasures of solitude and self-love." - Nathan Smith, Pitchfork

38 - Pink Siifu - Negro

"The core of NEGRO is defined by its antipathy for police. “DeadMeat” was inspired by a harrowing incident in New York, where a black cop threatened his life for jumping a subway turnstile. Siifu recorded “DeadMeat” the next day, reeling from the fact that someone of his race would treat him with such unmitigated hate. It begins with Siifu repeating the police officer’s threat verbatim and ends with him drawing the distinction between police officers and “pigs.” - Max Bell, Bandcamp Daily

37 - Charli XCX - How I'm Feeling Now

"Our homes have become offices, churches, mutual aid hubs, child- and eldercare centers. Every inch of space has been claimed by a corner of life, worn from multi-purpose use, yet hopefully loved and lived in. But the home — even just one room strung with cheap lights — can also be a refuge to dance through your emotion. how i'm feeling now — an album whose title says everything, and whose music has a rave intimacy that reaches beyond quarantined walls — doesn't just capture the mood, but the modes of our survival. Charli XCX collaborated remotely with trusted producers (A. G. Cook, Danny L Harle) and new ones (BJ Burton, 100 gecs' Dylan Brady), to lean harder into the buzzing-yet-glam-blammed hyper-pop that she's explored in recent years. While the aural abrasion amplifies our collective WTF, turnt up on video chats and pining for reckless nights, the core of how i'm feeling now deepens around the loving bonds forged in close quarters." - Lars Gotrich, NPR Music

36 - Armand Hammer - Shrines

"Shrines boasts a larger roster of producers and featured artists than any of the group’s past work. Many of them were already members of the duo’s tight-knit, avant-garde circle: Curly Castro, Fielded, Kenny Segal, Messiah Muzik, R.A.P. Ferreira, Quelle Chris. A woozy instrumental (“Bitter Cassava”) and verse (“Ramses II”) by Earl Sweatshirt suggest that Armand Hammer could soon extend their reach even further. In this fraught time, the camaraderie on Shrines feels intentional. In 2018, Elucid told Pitchfork that his music is about bringing like minds together, to feel like “we’re fighting against the same evil.” Shrines is a confirmation that the more people who put those sunglasses on, the better." - Christina Lee, Bandcamp Daily

35 - Bad Bunny - Yo hago lo que me de la gana

"From the moment Bad Bunny's sophomore album begins, over a synthesized interpolation of bossa nova staple "The Girl From Ipanema," the Puerto Rican superstar leans heavily on past classics to breathe new life into Latin trap. El Conejo is, for the most part, done missing his ex jeva for now — instead he's dressing up as his female alter ego to call out creeps at the club, de-stigmatizing a particular romantic pursuit on a perreo-fueled symphony, and rocking out to his own success on an emo-trap anthem. YHLQMDLG is an homage to the reggaeton bangers that raised Bunny, complete with collabs from some of the greatest vets in the game, including Daddy Yankee, Ñengo Flow and Jowell & Randy. It's an album steeped in nostalgia for the garage-party-perreo of the early-aughts, but with a modernity that forecasts a bright future for urbano — even one that may find Bad Bunny (if you believe the album title) permanently tapping out. He does what he wants, and he gets away with it, too." - Isabella Gomez Sarmiento, NPR

34 - Popcaan - FIXTAPE

"In its mix form, Fixtape is framed as an epic tale in which Popcaan shares moments along his route to dancehall’s most prominent torchbearers. Instead of starting with the self-produced “Chill,” the SoundCloud version begins with melodramatic piano strokes, almost reminiscent of the theme song to The Young and the Restless. Those key hits grow into a symphonic instrumental adaptation of Popcaan’s 2011 hit “Only Man She Want,” and soon after, the first two non-Poppy voices you hear are a drop from incarcerated icon Vybz Kartel and audio of Drake’s praise at the first Unruly Fest in December 2018. Though even novice Popcaan listeners already know these affiliations, starting the project in this way is like flexing for the mirror, a moment of self-affirmation before proving it to the world. So it makes sense that the first song on this version of the tape, “Killy Dem Crazy,” is Popcaan trying his hand at Nas and Diddy’s Trackmasters-produced classic “Hate Me Now”—the perfect “fuck whoever don’t like it” gesture." - Lawrence Burney, Pitchfork

33 - Drakeo The Ruler - Thank You For Using GTL

"Since the genre's inception, the voice in rap has been sped up, glitched out, chopped and screwed, slowed and reverbed, all to convey textures and feelings that language alone cannot. On Thank You For Using GTL, Drakeo The Ruler's was shrunk to fuzz, transmitted through a jail phone. The intent wasn't to create a mood, but to create something, to continue a career that was snatched away. At the time, Drakeo had spent most of the three years prior in Los Angeles' notorious Men's Central Jail, and nine of those months in solitary confinement, first battling a murder charge he'd be acquitted of, then a gang conspiracy charge that the prosecution built out of his lyrics and music videos. He was suddenly freed in November on a plea deal, days before L.A. county district attorney Jackie Lacey lost her seat to the more progressive George Gascón. His lawyer, John Hamasaki, told NPR that "if the case had been continued to January, it probably would have been dismissed by [Gascón's] office."

Even when transmitted across a scummy phone line, Drakeo's sneer cuts like a knife. Submerged in static and woven over JoogSZN's brooding instrumentals, his raps feel suspended in a constant denouement, transient and purgatorial, as he probes at the suits trying to end his life. "It might sound real, but it's fictional / I love that my imagination gets to you," he raps on the final track. What isn't fiction are the cruel and convoluted circumstances that shaped GTL, that cost its creators thousands of dollars to record while profiting a billion dollar telecom company, and that continue to take lifetimes away from Black men." —Mano Sundaresan, NPR

32 - Nathan Fake - Blizzards

"Blizzards has almost no breaks or meanders, just relentless club music adorned with beautiful melodies. In taking stock of his music and returning to his fundamentals, Blizzards highlights everything Fake is good at: the way his drums tend to dance in between established genres, melodies that sound like a warped Boards Of Canada record, the constant push-and-pull of dark and light. It's more of a reset than a reinvention, a return to the earnest simplicity that made him a wunderkind all those years ago." - Andrew Ryce, Resident Advisor

31 - Dj Diaki - Balani Fou

"The absorption of multiple streams of African electronic music into a western club milieu has been patchy. Where styles like kwaito and gqom have slotted into house and bass idioms, and kuduro has made an impact via diasporic scenes like the one in Lisbon, the harder and faster styles—like Shangaan electro and the emergent singeli sound from Dar Es Salaam—haven't easily found a foothold. When they do appear, they're often an anomalous peak in a DJ set from which it's hard to climb down. But with the current vogue for speedy techno and other hard dance sounds, along with the interest in singeli and other belting East African sounds, Diaki's Crazy Balani couldn't have smashed its way to the dance floor at a better time." - Chal Ravens, Resident Advisor

30 - Caribou - Suddenly

"Dan Snaith’s latest is as sly and layered as ever, but he finds ways to be more direct with his songwriting. There are no bum notes, no wasted motions, no corners of the audio spectrum left untouched. " - Phillip Sherburne, Pitchfork

29 - Deradoorian - Find The Sun

"The LP’s guitar-centric approach is a bit of a surprise, but Deradoorian isn’t a stranger to big riffs. She’s done stints in bands like Dirty Projectors and Avey Tare’s Slasher Flicks; more recently, she’s been ripping it up as the vocalist of BSCBR (aka Black Sabbath Cover Band Rehearsals), filling Ozzy Osborne’s shoes alongside artists like Yeah Yeah Yeahs guitarist Nick Zinner and drumming virtuoso Greg Fox. Find the Sun never reaches Paranoid levels of bombast, but it’s easily her brawniest solo record to date. Songs like “Saturnine Night” and closer “Sun” channel the psychedelic swagger of ’70s giants like the Doors and Led Zeppelin, while the rubbery bassline and surging guitar chords of album highlight “It Was Me” bring to mind the likes of Nirvana and Hole—or at least the times when those bands emulated indie pop groups like the Vaselines and Young Marble Giants.

But Find the Sun shouldn’t be mistaken for an exercise in rock worship. The influence of Can looms large, and Deradoorian’s music is still psychedelic, weird, and seemingly primed for a hallucinogenic trip to the outer recesses of the human psyche. With its motorik groove and dramatic talk-singing, “The Illuminator” sounds like a freaky, nine-minute-long outtake from Andy Warhol’s Factory, while the slinky “Devil’s Market” recalls the space-age lounge music once championed by bands like Stereolab. “Saturnine Night” does feature growling guitars, but they’re paired with an unkempt Krautrock rhythm that could have been pulled from Neu! 2, along with a dramatic, PJ Harvey-esque vocal turn from Deradoorian, who belts out brooding lines like “Innocence/In my death” and, simply, “I die.” - Shawn Reynolds, Pitchfork

28 - Thundercat - It Is What It Is

"Left savoring the tasty morsels of 2017's critically-acclaimed Drunk and 2018's Drank (its "chopped not slopped" remix album), it was an absolute pleasure to sink hungry ears into Thundercat's It Is What It Is this year. The bassist born Stephen Bruner blurs genre boundaries, dishing out dizzying acrobatics on "How Sway," beefy funk vibes on "Black Qualls" (featuring Steve Lacy, Steve Arrington and Childish Gambino) and cheeky R&B hilarity on "Dragonball Durag." Coproduced by longtime collaborator Flying Lotus, It Is What It Is drips with curtains of lush vocals. The album chronicles a broken heart's analysis of grief and its subsequent recovery by asking probing questions and finding joy where it can to survive pain, uncertainty, rejection and isolation. It's an enchanting tale of hope and growth in a year that served us heaping portions of gloom and melancholy" - Nikki Birch, NPR

27 - Against All Logic - 2017-19

"That Beyoncé is the first voice we hear on 2017 - 2019 is instructive of the bold new direction. Hers and Sean Paul's vocals are lifted from "Baby Boy" and layered over a crackling broken beat, an uncanny string-like instrument and inviting synth chords. A sample of Luther Ingram's 1972 soul song "(If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right" appears on track two, a degraded house cut, thus establishing a template of sorts: 2017 - 2019 is an album of stylistic leaps, radiant melodies, difficult-to-place sounds and red herrings. Back-to-back opening tracks with instantly recognisable sample flips, for example, sets up an expectation of many more to follow. Instead, there are none. That is unless you can spot the source of the hip-hop loop on "With An Addict." Jaar casually filters it into the arrangement to create a half-time contrast with the main drums, a rolling footwork/jungle-style pattern that features percussion reminiscent of the "Apache" break. The poignant, daybreak melody caps a track that bundles the album's strongest qualities." - Ryan Keeling, Resident Advisor

26 - Adrian Younge / Ali Shaheed Mohammad - Jazz Is Dead 001

"Adrian Younge and Ali Shaheed Muhammad both have impressive resumes as purveyors of modern soul, jazz, and hip-hop. Younge, a bassist, keyboardist, composer, and producer, has scored films such Black Dynamite and collaborated with artists ranging from Philly soul legends the Delfonics to Wu-Tang Clan's Ghostface Killah. Meanwhile, Muhammad was a member of A Tribe Called Quest and has worked on various projects outside that group. Together, Younge and Muhammad formed the Midnight Hour, a versatile band that brought a modern edge to retro soul and jazz sounds." - Rich Wilhelm, popMatters

25 - The Soft Pink Truth - Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase

"Drew Daniel's latest LP as The Soft Pink Truth, Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase, is a stunner that revels in communitas while flirting with house music and ambient tropes" - Bernie Brooks, the Quietus

24 - Jessy Lanza - All The Time

"The early days of writing All the Time, Jessy Lanza's first album since 2016's Oh No, marked a sea change for Jessy and her creative partner Jeremy Greenspan. After Oh No, Jessy left her hometown of Hamilton to go and live in New York. Written long distance for the first time, across Jessy’s new set up in New York to Jeremy’s home studio in Hamilton, and finishing in the recording studio Jeremy had been working on during this period.

Even though the move to New York and the change in remote working was tough, 'All the Time' has turned out to be the most pure set of pop songs the duo has recorded; reflective and finessed over the time and distance they allowed it. Innovative juxtapositions sound natural, such as rigid 808’s rubbing against delicate chords in 'Anyone Around', unusual underwater rushes underpin Baby Love . Jessy’s voice is treated, re-pitched and edited on songs like Ice creamy and gestural sounds seem to respond to her lyrics in songs such as Like Fire.

A lot of these sounds came from live take experiments using semi modular/modular equipment like Mother 32 and Dfam and Moog Sirin. Jessy says ‘We got all of the machines talking to one another and would run patterns through. A lot of the little burps and quacks and squiggles heard on songs like Anyone Around, Like 'Fire', 'Face', and 'Badly' are from those experiments. That’s when I’m having the most fun, making music and improvising through takes of the song and editing together all the best gurgle sounds afterwards’.

More than previously the lyrics on All The Time were an important focus for Jessy, articulating difficult feeling into her outwardly joyful music. ’Anger is a familiar and safe feeling for me. The album became a conversation with myself about why that is. Some songs refer to real and legitimate things to be angry about; 'Lick in Heaven' takes aim at what the culture expects from women. The cynicism I felt towards the people around me kept coming up and All the Time is an exploration into those feelings and a conversation with myself about other possibilities when it comes to my outlook on life.’

As the final elements of the album were being put in place, everything changed overnight. Her European tour was cut short and she flew back to New York quickly, plans for the foreseeable future dissolved. Whatsmore her lease was up on her apartment and she couldn’t find another in New York due to quarantine restrictions, so she packed what she could into her van and drove to San Francisco to be near her family, stopping on the way in increasingly empty motels as she journeyed from coast to coast.

‘Even though All the Time was written in 2019 the themes feel even more relevant now. Like a lot of people,I’m still struggling with the reality that life is hard to predict and it’s even harder not to make the same mistakes over again, trying to control what i’m able to and leave the rest.’ The cover photo of Jessy in her van was taken before these events , but it’s taken on more importance since. ‘Through many changing situations my minivan gives me comfort. It seems like such an American thing to say.m I realise it’s symbolic of a much larger existential struggle in my own life but regardless I wanted it to be a part of the album cover. Sitting in my van made me feel so comfortable and it’s rare for me to feel that.

All the time has ended up being a triumph, channeling difficult feelings into something that has whit energy and style. " - Jessy Lanza bandcamp page

23 - AceMoMA - A New Dawn

"AceMoMA connect back to their NYC forefathers (with nods to techno dons Derrick May and Jeff Mills), while also keeping a healthy disregard for the past, pushing ahead with palpable enthusiasm and energy. As Stevens explained in that same interview, “[As] brown people making dance music… we needed to create context for what we were doing. So we did.” Like the best moments of a night out, A New Dawn feels like instant history and an instant party." - Andy Beta, Pitchfork

22 - Adrianne Lenker - songs

"As a solo artist or with her band Big Thief, Adrianne Lenker has been at or near the top of my year-end lists for the past five years, more so than any other artist. The simultaneous strength and frailty in her voice attract me to her music. Earlier this year, she told NPR's All Things Considered host Mary Louise Kelly, "I was really sad, and I hit a wall — I kind of hit the bottom of myself and went to a pretty dark and sad space for a while. And the music itself, and writing these songs, was a thing that was getting me through it." The songs on songs were birthed in a one-room cabin in Western Massachusetts' mountains and recorded on an old Otari 8-track. We hear acoustic guitar, her voice, the sound of the cabin and whatever bugs and birds happen to be in the background of the poetic paintings she sings. The intimacy is magnetic" - Bob Boilen, NPR

21 - Trees Speak - Ohms

"The act of driving informs the music of Trees Speak, who take cues from the Autobahn-extolling music of classic Krautrock, specifically Kraftwerk. The roads green West Germany led Krautrock pioneers like Kraftwek to produce smooth, seamless electronic rhythms—but the rugged, dusted Sonoran Desert of southern Arizona leads Trees Speak to a more rough hewn electronic sound." - d mittleman, Aquarium Drunkard

20 - 21 Savage / Metro Boomin - Savage Mode II

"Ultimately, though, ‘Savage Mode II’ feels like a throwback: one rapper and one producer focused on a single creative project. Think Eric B and Rakim; Missy Elliot and Timbaland; Method Man and RZA. Their collaborators, such as Drake and Young Thug (the latter on ‘Rich N**ga Shit’, an anthemic rap about their lavish lifestyles), ably support, stepping in occasionally to craft the project into a more well-rounded shape.

‘Savage Mode II’ allows the Atlanta-based MC the space to make his point and cast all nonsense aside, letting his talent speak for itself. Metro Boomin, meanwhile, further showcases his generational abilities. As a whole, the album is confirmation of two young artists at the top of their game, watching the landscape unfold from the throne they earned themselves four years ago." - Dhruva Balram, NME

19 - Various Artists - HOA 010

"Ahead of the dawn, there could only be us...

HAUS of ALTR presents HOA010. Our second compilation, featuring the future of Black electronic music, and as the music as it exist in its current state. In these trying times, we come together to stake claim on the roots of techno and its potential future. Too Black, Too Strong." - HAUS of ALTR bandcamp page

18 - Emma Ruth Rundle / Thou - May Our Chambers Be Full

"Stemming out of an offer from Roadburn Festival organizer Walter Hoeijmakers, mutual acquaintances, and a shared love of each other’s output, May Our Chambers Be Full is the first recorded document of collaboration between Emma Ruth Rundle and Thou. While their solo material seems on its face to be quite disparate, both groups have spent their respective careers lurking at the outer boundaries of the heavy metal scene, the artists having more in common with DIY punk and its spiritual successor, grunge.

May Our Chambers Be Full straddles a similar, very fine line both musically and thematically. While Emma Ruth Rundle’s standard fare is a blend of post-rock-infused folk music, and Thou is typically known for its downtuned, doomy sludge, the conjoining of the two artists has created a record more in the vein of the early ’90s Seattle sound and later ’90s episodes of Alternative Nation, while still retaining much of the artists’ core identities. Likewise, the lyrical content of the album is a marriage of mental trauma, existential crises, and the ecstatic tradition of the expressionist dance movement. “Excessive sorrow laughs. Excessive joy weeps.” Melodic, melancholic, heavy, visceral." - Thou Bandcamp page

17 - Mong Tong - Mystery

"For Mystery秘神, they imagined a version of ancient Asia where all of the continent’s superstitions were real, and wrote a record based on how that world would sound. Their songs usually consist of a lolloping bassline, a snakey guitar lead, and campy synths that could perfectly soundtrack both an ‘80s crime flick and a highly stylized video game. Their sound evokes the simultaneous futurism and nostalgia of vaporwave, and the duo consider it “sample-based” because of the post-production process, in which they cut up, loop, and re-pitch their jam sessions into structured songs. All of the percussion is constructed in Ableton; there are no vocals, but they do include a few soundbites from Taiwanese films and TV shows. (“Chakra,” for example, features a bit of a dialogue about the connection between aliens and Hinduism.)" - Eli Enis, Bandcamp Daily

16 - Sada Baby - Bartier Bounty 2

"His voice is at a-near constant sneer to match the furious pacing until the surprising collaboration with Dej Loaf that showcases a smoother version of the 27-year-old rapper. Street anthems like “Trap Withdrawals” approach standard topics of growing up hustling with bombastic brilliance. “Horse Play 2” even samples Linkin Park’s “In The End” and makes it work. Bartier‘s sequel takes all of Detroit’s current hip-hop momentum and propels it to Super Saiyan-level dominance thanks to Sada Baby’s need to experiment." - Patrick Johnson, Hypebeast

15 - Oranssi Pazuzu - Mestarin kynsi

"Even at nearly an hour in length, the album flies by, dense and vicious and evocative as a novel, as contemplative as the featureless gore of the cover art. I've had this promo for perhaps two full months now; I've listened to it nearly every day since then, often multiple times a day. I've commented before about a spate of records that were battling it out for the number one spot for me this year, and while that number has now expanded, the number then at least was three. One of them was Spectral Lore and Mare Cognitum's incredible progressive black metal split full-length. Another was Sweven's immaculate death metal debut. The third was this.

It's hard to deny that a certain strain of the listenership is right: this isn't black metal anymore. But this is for the best for Oranssi Pazuzu. The past seven years have seen them put out record after record that was better not only than the one before it but of the whole of their work. By Värähtelijä, they were scraping Hall of Fame territory. On Mestarin kynsi, they exceed it." - Langdon Hickman, Invisible Oranges

14 - Sunwatchers - Oh Yeah?

"The album’s title “Oh Yeah?” is at once an homage to Mingus, Thee Oh Sees’ album “Help” (whose Brigid Dawson hand-sewed the tapestry adorning the album’s front cover) and (naturally) the rallying cry of KoolBrave himself - the Kool-Aid Man-as-Braveheart avatar the band adopted as their symbol. The three years since the band’s second album (and TiM debut) “II” was released, has seen the band grace stages across the USA and Europe, enlisting more comrades in their mission of solidarity (sonically speaking) with every show." - Sunwatchers Bandcamp page

13 - Fire-Toolz - Rainbow Bridge

"Rainbow Bridge was made in part as a reflection on the death of Marcloid’s cat Breakfast, which explains in part the way the record swings back and forth between beauty and cacophony. Marcloid’s work as Fire-Toolz has always been about the way that these two emotional poles can coexist, but the way we deal with death is especially complicated. Even the most intense grief is braided with moments of peace and clarity, the beautiful memories of a life well-lived. Rainbow Bridge mirrors the intensity and the confusion of these experiences and shows that even in the direst times, it’s possible to find comfort." - Colin Joyce, Pitchfork

12 - Beatrice Dillon - Workaround

"Chain Reaction meets mid-20th-century minimalism with spectacular results." - Chal Ravens, Resident Advisor

11 - Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia

At 24, Lipa has been working towards this moment for almost 10 years, and her sights are set higher still. A false start in modeling impressed the importance of going where you’re wanted; in Lipa’s case, to Warner Records, who sought a female pop icon to compete with the Rihannas and Lady Gagas of the world. She leveraged her talent as a songwriter, developing an early Dua Lipa single, “Hotter Than Hell,” in the first session with her prospective management team. Her sly swagger and fashion-plate style gave her the presence of someone who’d achieved diva status already. “I’m a bit too far down the line for anyone to try and tell me something,” she said of her creative autonomy in 2017, even before the release of her first record.

But where many of pop’s most recent stars are emphatically emotionally available, Lipa radiates blithe coolness. Her brand is style, competence, taste—this is, in a way perhaps not obvious to those who actually remember the ’80s, entirely tasteful pop music—and the sultry low voice that makes her the star of even a middling Martin Garrix collab. Future Nostalgia is nonstop, no ballads; for 10 tracks, the closest it comes to feeling vulnerable or revealing is “Pretty Please,” a plea for stress-relief sex with an ultra-thick bassline. When Lipa proclaims, “You got me losing all my cool/’Cause I’m burning up on you,” on the Tove Lo cowrite “Cool,” she rhymes it with, “In control of what I do.” - Anna Gaca, Pitchfork

10 - Jasmine Infiniti - Bxtch Slap

"It’s building on that myth of being The Queen of Hell and how as a black trans woman, often just existing in this world feels hellish. The things that I have personally had to go through and that many other black trans women endure, it’s almost as if we are existing in hell already. It’s kind of like, well if I’m already here, I might as well live it up and find the best parts of this existence that I can. It’s about embracing that hell vibe. If I’m already here then I’m gonna be debaucherous and party to all hours of the morning. I want it to reflect that, but also have a little bit of sadness, a little bit resentfulness and a little bit anger, but also happiness and joy. It’s about taking hell and having fun with it." - Jasmine Infiniti, Vice

9 - Actress - Karma & Desire

"Karma & Desire bears the sonic touchstones of his landmark full-lengths like R.I.P. and AZD, but it also represents a profound shift in Cunningham's approach. For the first time, he's invited friends to help out. "I just wanted to give Actress a voice, basically, to use vocal performances from, like, a muse perspective really," he recently told Bandcamp Daily.

Despite several rave-worthy tracks voiced by the LA artist Aura T-09, this is not Actress's vocal house album, nor is it an album of pop songs. Instead, he utilizes the considerable vocal talents of artists like Zsela and Sampha in a signature Actress style, with snatches of stream-of-consciousness vocals rearranged into dreamlike sketches. The New York artist Zsela exhales "Destiny is stuck in heaven," on the burbling "Angels Pharmacy," before reprising the same theme on the very next track, "Remembrance." Just as hazy pads and white noise form motifs in Actress's catalogue, evocative phrases surface and resurface from the murk." Matt McDermott, Resident Advisor

8 - Lil Uzi Vert - Eternal Atake

"Few make rapping sound as purely fun as Lil Uzi Vert. His second album, Eternal Atake, arrived on the heels of a nearly three-year label dispute, yet it still sounds unburdened. The songs traffic in abundant imagination — words and syllables are deconstructed and restacked to form breathless cadences that explode across beats as funky as they are futuristic. When he chants "Balenci" enough times to void it of any meaning on "POP" or when he spits out a multibar hook that skirts repetition altogether (or, really, any qualities that usually make up a hook) as on "Homecoming," it's the chutzpah, but it's also the musicality of it all, the way the melodies are both instrument and a vehicle for lyrics. One of rap's most precise technicians, Uzi has been perfecting this craft since he began his career ascent in 2015, but Eternal Atake prompted us to hear the extraterrestrial — a world within worlds that's all his own." - Briana Younger, NPR

7 - bbyMutha - Muthaland

"Across Muthaland, bbymutha reclaims several words used to jab at her pride: “baby mama,” “slut,” “hoodrat.” She says them with her chest and siphons the negative energy in order to lift herself above the competition. It’s exhilarating, which makes the prospect of her early retirement all the sadder. Rap could use several more voices like hers. If Muthaland really is the last album bbymutha plans on releasing to the public, she’s brought us into her twisted world at its creative peak." Dylan Green, Pitchfork

6 - Jeff Parker - Suite for Max Brown

"The album is a mixture of live improvisations backed by drum loops. This was inspired by Parker’s time as a DJ. “I used to DJ a lot when I lived in Chicago,” Parker recently said. “I was spinning records one night and for about ten minutes I was able to perfectly synch up a Nobukazu Takemura record with the first movement of John Coltrane’s A Love Supreme and it had this free jazz, abstract jazz thing going on with a sequenced beat underneath. It sounded so good. That’s what I’m trying to do with Suite for Max Brown. Man vs. machine.” - Nick Roseblade, The Quietus

5 - GAIKA - Seguridad

"Brixton’s GAIKA has already proven himself a heavyweight via his releases on WARP Records, where he imbues the moodier end of dancehall, R&B, and Afrobeats with the kind of apocalyptic political vision you might expect from righteous roots reggae. Here, he’s teamed up with Mexico City’s NAAFI label, and eight members of their musical family. The music ranges from a reggaetón canter (“Maria”) to an almost drum-free crawl (“Nine Lives”); GAIKA’s hoarse voice, swimming through glutenous resonant autotune, draws it all together. It draws you into a zoned-out science fiction night time world, a Black Atlantic gothic cyberpunk fever dream that will haunt you long after it’s ended." - Joe Muggs, Bandcamp Daily

4 - Nazar - Guerrilla

"The roughest rough kuduro on Guerrilla lives up to the billing. Over charging horns and erratic snare sprints, "Arms Deal"'s midrange is filled with raging, Pollocky slashes of tapehead noise. "Why"'s 8-bit Sonic synths, Terrordrome trance leads and rap fragments are also fantastic. Guerrilla can be stealthy, too. Take "Fim-92 Stinger," a carnivalesque hip swinger with shades of the slinky batida from DJ Nigga Fox's Cartas Na Magna. It's a rare gem: fun, seductive, somewhat steady. You could even call it celebratory. But when Nazar says, "The ceasefire should at least last until the duration of this song," his pessimism resurfaces. Sure enough, the next track, "Immortal," illustrates what seems like a bullet-time detachment from conflict. It's possible to make out the ambience of the Angolan bush, stray gunfire and casual bravado, but the clearest sounds in its spectral quiet are an amped-up wheeze and the continuous loading of magazines. You're hearing the itch to fight." - Ray Philp, Resident Advisor

3 - Benny The Butcher - Burden of Proof

"With the help of Hit-Boy, Rick Ross, and Freddie Gibbs, Benny has another one for us to mob out to. At one point on this album, he says, “I don’t care about haters/ I only care about what hustlers think.” The proof is in the eating of the pudding. This is not for the meek. This is not for the golf courses. Benny never dives into nihilism. He knows his purpose, but the album is called Burden of Proof because if you are going to be on the streets, you have to prove who you are. Benny has done that and then some. The Butcher is here, and he isn’t respecting old arrangements. He runs this ship now." - Jayson Buford, Consequence of Sound

2 - Yaeji - What We Drew "But while What We Drew is more internalized than past releases, it is not conflicted; rather, Yaeji finds clarity in vulnerability, in the pendulum swing of her humanity. Crucially, the mixtape doesn’t turn its back on one of Yaeji’s strongest traits as an artist: Her music has always been deeply social, and now it is more gregarious than ever in its gratitude for those around her. Some of the best tracks are valentines to the friends and artists who fill Yaeji’s world—and she has been proactive building scenes, from New York to Seoul—and her appreciation for this community feels all the sweeter balanced with her revelations of struggle" - Stacey Anderson, Pitchfork 1 - Various Artists - HOA 011

"Back once again, we assume the role of Vanguard in the war against white supremacy in electronic music. We bring part 2 in a story of black technological expression, from the perspectives of some of its most prolific, alongside much needed new perspectives. HOA010 was a call for a new path. HOA011 we embark.

Too Black, Too Strong." - HAUS of ALTR bandcamp page

[notesonnewyork]

"The Spaghetti Incident?” (A Second Helping)

Are they as scorching as the Mick Taylor-era Rolling Stones, their most comparable ancestor? Well, at the very least, this version of Guns N’ Roses is more of a hearth than the one we grew up with over 30 years ago. With a musicianship now flourishing in the wake of jettisoned addictions, feuds, and bad habits, this band is dangerous. Like Prince ripping through “Proud Mary” (Credence Clearwater Revival), “All Along the Watchtower” (Bob Dylan), and “Best of You” (Foo Fighters) at the Super Bowl Halftime Show in 2007, these guys can play just about anything. And they’ll do it on a dime. 

As if an open vein through which courses the Great Rock N’ Roll Songbook, Guns N’ Roses is the rarest of vessels that can both contain its ebb and flow and excoriate its nerves to siphon off something new. Who else could turn a reading of “Speak Softy, Love (Love Theme from the Godfather)” (Nino Rota) into “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” or parse sweet “Melissa” (Allman Brothers Band) into “Patience”? They can perform the reverse trick too. “Civil War” resolved neatly into a few riffs from “Voodoo Chile (Slight Return)” (The Jimi Hendrix Experience) while “November Rain” dripped into final strains of “Layla” (Derek & The Dominoes) like those associations were always meant to be. And, as if to relieve the vaguest hint of boredom, they can go about vivisecting other people’s songs as well. “Attitude” (The Misfits) was diced in favor of “You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory” (Johnny Thunders) and the gospel remains of “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door” (Bob Dylan) were defibrillated by the stark musings in “Only Women Bleed” (Alice Cooper). 

Like the Stones reinterpreting “Just My Imagination” (The Temptations), “Not Fade Away” (Buddy Holly & The Crickets), or “Shake Your Hips” (Slim Harpo), Guns N’ Roses are often at the height of their powers rehabilitating classic songs. Slash and Richard Fortus dueled so elegantly on their acoustic guitars during “Wish You Were Here” (Pink Floyd) that the supposedly indelible mark of David Gilmour and Roger Waters was evanesced. “Live and Let Die” (Wings) was such a purge of pyrotechnic bloodletting that even Paul McCartney has had to admit to tinkering with his original to match the updated tenor these days. Later, in Slash’s suddenly power-chording hands, “The Seeker” (The Who) became freshly anthemic. “Black Hole Sun” (Soundgarden) was a crater, a slow-burning requiem hoisted to the ghost of Chris Cornell that moved the lips of even the most hardened fan in the crowd. And then there was Roise. A “Whole Lotta Roise” (AC/DC) is the song Guns N’ Roses should have written. Thumping, sneering, and almost combustible, it ought to have been on “Use Your Illusion I” between “Bad Obsession” and “Back Off B--”. The band tossed their way through it twirling and posing as if they were having the time of their lives. 

So what if they just did a set of covers? They certainly could. They have the special bloodline and extant stamina to pull off such a feat. What would they choose though? My money would be on things like “Tie Your Mother Down” (Queen), “Monkey Man” (The Rolling Stones), “Romeo’s Delight” (Van Halen), “Johnny B. Goode” (Chuck Berry), and “Why Does Love Got To Be So Bad?” (Derek & The Dominoes). Maybe even “Black Dog” (Led Zeppelin), “Love, Reign O’er Me” (The Who), “Helter Skelter” (The Beatles), or “Train Kept A-Rollin’” (The Yardbirds). But, then again, this Guns N’ Roses is too locked in right now to neglect its own catalog. While Axl’s voice is still waiting to yowl, Slash’s fingers still flailing to shred, and the two still willing to direct the ensemble with Duff’s support, let there be rock. We might not see another touring band like this in our lifetime. 

-----

(With Guns N’ Roses at Madison Square Garden. Photos by Riff Chorusriff. October 16, 2017. Previously, with GNR:

http://notesonnewyork.tumblr.com/post/149098187053/the-spaghetti-incident-the-history-of-rock-and )

[chorusfm]

Death Cab For Cutie – Transatlanticism

Transatlanticism is my favorite album of all time. Death Cab For Cutie’s fourth album, released fifteen years ago today, is the band’s second concept album. Transatlanticism centers itself around long-distance love, with both its strengths and downfalls. Ben Gibbard, the band’s soft-sung lead vocalist, lyricist, and guitarist, penned the term “transatlanticism” to express the unfathomable emotional space between two young lovers. The distance Gibbard discusses feels impenetrable. Transatlanticism sees Death Cab For Cutie experimenting with soft-loud dynamics (“Transatlanticism”, “We Looked Like Giants”), perfecting the gorgeous quiet track (“Lightness”, “A Lack of Color”), and witnesses them pushing themselves to go all-out and produce the flawless pop song (“The Sound Of Settling”). Completing all of this is the efforts of guitarist, co-writer and producer Chris Walla. Walla’s lo-fi production is perfect for Transatlanticism. Fifteen years later, and Transatlanticism still sounds incredibly rich and indulgent, yet also warm and intimate. Album opener, “The New Year,” is the first of many tracks to achieve the band’s main goal while working on Transatlanticism. Prior to the release of the album, Gibbard had this to say: We’ve tried to construct it with transitions of songs going in and out of each other, and I think it’s a little bit more expansive than the last record. Immediately, “The New Year” catapults listeners into Transatlanticism’s sweeping world, beginning with a rumbling train; ascending before the arrival of crashing guitars coupled with glowing, bright drumming. In “The New Year”, Gibbard recalls the absurdity of things like “New Year’s resolutions”, admitting: “so this is the New Year / and I don’t feel any different” then, in the second verse: “so this is the New Year, and I have no resolutions”. He also reminisces for simpler times, the periods where “the world was flat like the old days,” so he and his partner could travel to see each other by “folding a map.” Gibbard desires to rebel against distance, but instead, he, unfortunately, comes across as defeated. Transatlanticism explores the agony and challenges of long-distance love further in its runtime, but why should I rush myself? After “The New Year” is the misleadingly beautiful “Lightness.” It’s the first track that encapsulates Death Cab For Cutie’s vision of having songs transition in and out of each other, as “Lightness” flows from “The New Year” in stunning fashion. You don’t even feel it. “Lightness” follows Gibbard as he attempts to create a convincing argument to remain faithful, but ultimately accepts that his thoughts of disloyalty go against what he feels is right. His voice quavers as he tries to strongly declare: “you shouldn’t think what you’re feeling.” It’s brutally honest, in turn making “Title And Registration,” the next track, increasingly heartbreaking. Fun story: I was a foolish teenager who downloaded Transatlanticism from good old Limewire. The download didn’t include “Title And Registration.” I embarrassingly listened for months, not realizing a track was missing, a track I came to love dearly… Anyway, “Title And Registration” finds Gibbard in the devastating aftermath of a significant relationship breakdown. He rummages through the (incorrectly named) glove compartment, just to find “souvenirs from better times” – the souvenirs can be perceived as various trinkets his ex forgot in the car, as well as some photos. “Title And Registration” becomes more desolate when Gibbard recognizes that “there’s no blame for how our love did slowly fade.” Ben Gibbard is a master of capturing the beauty and ugliness of human emotion, as well as the full depth held inside the spectrum of human emotion. Where Death Cab For Cutie seems to thrive the most is in the under-appreciated beauty, “Expo ‘86”. The track sees the band firing on all cylinders: a mellow start, an exciting chorus and bridge, descending piano, and a wonderful juxtaposition between melancholy lyrics paired with extremely catchy music. “Expo ‘86” delves into the toxicity of repeated cycles – “sometimes I think this cycle never ends / we slide from top to bottom then we slide and turn again”, and for listeners who struggle with anxiety as I have, Ben Gibbard captures the uneasy dread of our day to day lives: “I am waiting for something to go wrong / I am waiting for familiar resolve / I am waiting for another repeat / another diet fed by crippling defeat”. With “Expo ‘86”, Death Cab For Cutie assisted confused teenage-me in identifying issues I couldn’t voice yet. I’m not sure if the band knew that this song, as well as the rest of Transatlanticism, really, would be so very helpful for legions of fans years down the track. “Expo ‘86” gave me solace when I desperately needed it. For that, I am eternally grateful. “Expo ‘86” isn’t the only song that makes use of a superb contrast between saddening lyrics and catchy music. “The Sound Of Settling,” a track Ben Gibbard initially disliked but was urged to leave on the record by Chris Walla (thank you, Chris), does it again. It’s a song that quickly turns out to be layered and huge. Opening with a pressing guitar, “The Sound Of Settling” is joined by Nick Harmer’s groovy bass line and Jason McGerr’s urgent drumming. For the first time, Transatlanticism is actually quite amusing, but still so sad: “and I’ll sit and wonder of every love that could have been / if I’d only thought of something charming to say.” It’s a tragic view of what life could be like if we didn’t take any risks. However, “The Sound Of Settling” doesn’t even come close to what the one-two punch of “Tiny Vessels” and “Transatlanticism” make me feel. For a long time, I couldn’t listen to “Tiny Vessels.” It’s a song concerning unrequited love, but on the other side of things. It’s cruel. I do applaud Ben Gibbard for writing the song now; it’s gutsy and emotive, perhaps these stories need to be told, too. But, when Gibbard gently sings “this is the moment that you know / that you told her that you loved her, but you don’t,” I instantly lose it. I’m transported back to a specific, very painful time in my life where my first partner was unfaithful. I’m left wishing he could be as blunt as Gibbard is in this song. As hurtful as “and you are beautiful, but you don’t mean a thing to me” would be to hear, it’s better than the alternative I had to reckon with. Coupled with mournful, swelling guitars and an explosive climax, “Tiny Vessels” remains an emotional powerhouse to this day. Then, there’s the immaculate title track. “Transatlanticism,” to me, is Death Cab For Cutie’s musical and lyrical magnum opus. It opens on a tender note. For half the song, it’s just Ben Gibbard’s voice accompanied by the piano. It’s a tale of the woes of long-distance love – Gibbard is simply beaten here: “the distance is quite simply too far for me to row / it seems farther than ever before.” The overwhelmed nature of “Transatlanticism” isn’t here to stay, though. Before you even realize it, the track opens itself up, developing a romantic swirling experience of both catharsis and celebration. The percussion and piano combined are almost deafening – I can only imagine what it’s like when performed live. Simply and sadly, Gibbard murmurs, “I need you so much closer.” The despair takes over, and multiple voices join Gibbard, wailing, “so come on.” Since October 7, 2003, “Transatlanticism” has soundtracked countless long-distance relationships, including my own. Where “Tiny Vessels” breaks my heart, “Transatlanticism” encourages hope and the release of pent-up emotion. Things get pretty interesting late in Transatlanticism, as “Passenger Seat” is the first happy song on the album. It’s solely Gibbard and a piano, and like “Transatlanticism” before it, “Passenger Seat” is majestic. Gibbard takes us on a road trip where he explores unconditional love. I can’t say for sure whether the duos he speaks of are soul mates or parent and child; you decide how you’d like to interpret it. “Passenger Seat” finds Gibbard feeling utterly safe and deems this person trustworthy: “with my feet on the dash, the world doesn’t matter.” This is a song of deep love and security. When Gibbard resoundingly declares, “when you feel embarrassed, then I’ll be your pride / when you need directions, then I’ll be the guide,” I can’t help hoping I can be that person for my partner, “for all time.” Transatlanticism’s final two tracks keep up the honesty and continue dissecting stories of love. Although, they couldn’t be any further apart sonically or in subject matter. Transatlanticism is a mostly mellow album, until the exhilarating penultimate track, “We Looked Like Giants” begins. The song builds and builds, from opening with droning guitar to the blend of beautiful, melodic piano and steady drums, to all-out jamming. From the moment “We Looked Like Giants” bursts into gear, the band fight to keep the bombastic vibe of the track. “We Looked Like Giants” is incredibly sentimental, seeing Gibbard evoking memories of first love and first sexual experiences. He’s visibly infatuated, and can’t keep his excitement to himself as he croons, “I don’t know about you, but I swear on my name they could smell it on me.” Gibbard also reveals the wonderful feeling of sharing music you love with someone you’re smitten with, looking back with endearment: “do you remember the J.A.M.C. (The Jesus And Mary Chain, who Gibbard himself is a fan of), and reading aloud from magazines?” It’s almost a shame that Transatlanticism doesn’t end there. But, it wouldn’t be right to close Transatlanticism on any song that isn’t “A Lack Of Color.” The closing track, “A Lack Of Color,” has a calming quality about it. However, “A Lack Of Color” ends Transatlanticism on a solemn note. The hushed ballad surveys Gibbard deceiving himself, “and when I see you, I really see you upside down,” and studies opposites: heart vs. brain, “fact not fiction,” before reaching a shattering ending. “A Lack Of Color” is mournfully honest. It’s an acoustic ballad done right. It’s short and not so sweet – thematically, anyway, and transitions all the way back to “The New Year,” with the rumbling, ascending train making its return. My heart falters when Gibbard chants, “I should have given you a reason to stay.” By the end of Transatlanticism, Ben Gibbard accepts that he’s alone. “A Lack Of Color” doesn’t tie up the album with a pretty red bow, and thank goodness for that. Transatlanticism saw Death Cab For Cutie undertake a brave, large sonic leap by sticking to their instincts, resulting in an album that’s equally expansive and personally affecting. I first discovered Transatlanticism when I was 15 years old. Today, Transatlanticism turns fifteen. I can’t begin to explain how much I’ve grown and changed in the last seven years, but I can be assured that no matter what path I go down in my life, Transatlanticism will always provide an immense sense of comfort. It’s still my go-to album on a crisp autumn or winter’s day. Transatlanticism still invites nostalgia, motivates me to frequently remind my loved ones just how much I love them, and one day soon, the album art will be my first tattoo. It’s a journey, from the incoming train circling “The New Year,” making its way back to “A Lack Of Color.” The stories enclosed in this record are all stories we know, understand, but might not have articulated ourselves. As a result of that, Ben Gibbard comes across as an old friend. The instrumentation and production envelop listeners in warmth to this day. Death Cab For Cutie captured magic with Transatlanticism. Even now, its core concepts, transitions, fuzzy arrangements, and lofty ambitions are inspirational, to musicians and fans alike. Simplicity is beauty, less is more – I’ve always strongly believed in those statements, and that’s where Death Cab For Cutie find their biggest strength. Transatlanticism is supremely relatable, dramatic yet restrained, and its humble power will endure for many more years to come. --- Please consider supporting us so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/review/retrospective/death-cab-for-cutie-transatlanticism/

[anna6anana-blog]

Are “Educational Animations” Really Educating children in a positive way? Focusing on the animation: Dora the Explorer.

Introducing “educational animation” Dora the Explorer

Figure 1: Screenshot of Dora the Explorer’s categorization. Retrieved from https://itunes.apple.com/CA/tv-show/id840440896.

Out of many educational animations, I focus on the American TV series, Dora the Explorer, as an example of falsely promoted educational animations. This particular animation by Chris Gifford is well known as “educational” (“Dora the Explorer,” n.d). However, regarding the popular concept of bilingual animation, it fails to maintain that concept with its repetitive structure of script and visuals. The main character, a seven-year-old Latina named Dora, explores the world with her monkey friend Boots. Simultaneously, Dora actively engages the audience by posing small riddles and puzzles. Despite the popularity in the series, some researchers hypothesize and share their study of how certain aspects of cartoons such as repetition of the theme song, scripts, and high contrast colours can negatively affect children’s cognitive development. In this paper, I argue that unlike how Dora the Explorer is portrayed as an educational animation originally, it should not be considered as it is because it contains more of potential negative impact on children rather than educating them. This perspective is important because it presents a new way of understanding how psychoanalysis works and it will support my statement.

Bilingual animation concept failure The first potential negative impact that this animation can bring to children is a confusion of cultural identity from bilingual education. Like I have previously mentioned, Dora the Explorer was initially created to teach bilingual culture and language to children, especially Spanish. The animation’s theme song and even the dialogues include short Spanish vocabularies. But in what ways can teaching multiple languages simultaneously help children develop their second anguage learning? According to Oller (2002), he questions to himself “does bilingualism, in and of itself, enrich children educationally or cognitively?”(Oller, 2002). After the research, Bialystok references Oller’s research result on his book, that “for general language proficiency, bilingual children tend to have a smaller vocabulary in each language than monolingual children in their language.”(as cited in Bialystok, 2006). Especially, in this case, blurting out Spanish words while speaking English will create confusion for kids to concentrate on one language and learn them perfectly. Oller (2002) quotes other researchers Porter (as cited in Oller, 1990), Rossell & Baker (as cited in Oller, 1996) that they [argued] ’time on task’ in learning is a primary factor in success, and that dilution of time on task for each language in bilingual education causes bilingual students to be overburdened and consequently to be at risk for school failure. In accord with the reasoning, it might be thought that children in bilingual education who are allowed to speak and learn in their first language may fail to acquire English quickly or fully, and as a result, may emerge ill-prepared for further education or for employment in English, the primary language of the society.(Oller, 2002). These solutions from the experiment show how bilingual education is not always beneficial, yet it may cause confusion for children to learn and use one language completely to kids unlike how Dora the Explorer was trying to proceed. In addition, children’s ability of visual memory is also linked with “the poor performance of the bilingual children” (Mumtaz & Humphrey, 2001).

Constraints of Creativity Second negative aspect of this animation can bring is limitation with creativity development. Similar scenarios in the animation can worsen children’s creativity and imagination. Referring to my own childhood memory, I loved this series because I felt like I was legitimately in that scene and I was directly interacting with the characters. Addition to that, I was satisfied with how I was helping Dora to overcome her challenges and continue to explore. However, as I grow older, I realized that my answers were already predicted and the animation is pre-scripted by purposely choosing a wrong answer. Obviously, no matter what answer I chose, the story would proceed with the fixed solution. Also, I started to get bored of how the plot of the film is always the same. This problem will not solely discourage children’s growth of creativity but also their cognitive development will stop evolving. According to Cooper, Kostyrka, and Simpson (2016), they emphasized that the result of their studies of relationship between television exposure and children’s cognition and behaviour shows “watching high-quality educational content during preschool years improves children’s basic academic skills and predicts subsequent positive academic performance.”(Cooper, Kostyrka, & Simpson, 2016). Yet, Dora the Explorer is challenging to perceive as a “high-quality education content” because it lacks complexity of scenarios and manic colour combination. Based on the research of these people that I mentioned, all of them stated that educational television programs are highly correlated with children’s cognitive development which supports my idea of concern how Dora the Explorer is designed cannot be beneficial to children’s learning.

Hyperactivity and Concentration disorder In this animation, there are a lot of factors that distract young viewers to focus on one thing such as high contrast colour and repetition of words. 

Figure 2: Scene of Dora the Explorer episode. Extremely saturated and high contrast. Retrieved from https://33hpwq10j9luq8gl43e62q4e-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Dora-the-Explorer.jpg

In figure 2, the colour scheme of the scene is extremely high contrasted and saturated. Based on the article Gutierrez wrote about the psychological colour influence of learning, she states that “[u]sing the right colour, and the correct selection and placement can seriously affect the feelings, attention, and behaviour of people when learning”(Gutierrez, 2016). She specifically mentions about the colour green and its effect on concentration. She states: “[g]reen is a good colour for keeping long-term concentration and clarity” and also mentions different study from Staff (2013) that “[p]eople working in green offices have proven to be more satisfied with their jobs”(Staff, 2013). In contrast, colour red is categorized as a negative colour because “too much exposure to the colour red can cause stress; it may also cause frustration and provoke anger”(Staff, 2013). In addition, colour purple has “been found helpful to intensify sexual activity”(Staff, 2013) which is not appropriate for educational animation for children. Baydar, Gökşen, Kağitçibaşi, and Küntay (2008) said: “[t]he most likely source of positive influence of television on children's development is the educational programming that is specifically designed to increase school readiness and social competence in young viewers.”(Baydar, Gökşen, Kağitçibaşi, & Küntay, 2008) which demonstrates that educational programming plays a crucial role to develop children’s social interaction ability. Another potential negativity of Dora is the repetition of words in the lyrics. Dora! Boots! Come on dora! D-d-d-d-d-dora D-d-d-d-d-dora d-d-d-d-d-dora D-d-d-d-d-dora Dora Dora Dora the explorer Boots that super cool exploradora Need your help Grab your backpacks Lets go! Jump in! Vomanos You can lead the way-hay! Hey! Hey! D-d-d-d-d-Dora D-d-d-d-d-Dora D-d-d-d-d-Dora D-d-d-d-d-Dora Swiper no swiping Swiper no swiping Oh man! Dora The Explorer!!!

If there's a place you got to go I'm the one you need to know I'm the map
I'm the map
I'm the map If there's a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the map
I'm the map
I'm the map
I'm the map
I'm the map
I'm the map
I'm the map
I'm the map
I'm the map
I'm the map
I'm the map
I'm the map

Figure 3: Lyrics of Dora the Explorer theme song and map song.

Even at first glance, in Figure 3, there are a lot of same words and phrases that are repeated. Spencer (2013) mentions about the new research scientists did which suggests that “repetitive, persistent noise may have a long-term impact on the development of a child’s brain”(Spencer, 2013). The experiment they tried was playing low repetitive noise to your mice for ten hours a day, for period of ten days; and the mice resulted with a reduced amount of blood vessels (Spencer, 2013). Additionally, scientists also said that  another “[l]ong-term impacts could include an increased susceptibility to diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure and accelerated ageing”(Spencer, 2013).

Methodology: Psychoanalysis These researches I provided to support my argument includes basic knowledge of psychoanalysis. I approached my research based on this method, to critique the visual of the animation. Rose (2016) explained this methodology is “often [used] as an approach to interpreting film”(Rose, 184, 2016). By using psychoanalysis, I focused on how children’s unconsciousness can influence their perception of the visual of animation.

Conclusion The objective of this paper is to criticize educational animations specifically focusing on Dora the Explorer as an example of failing to provide educational purposes to children. Despite the concept and purpose of its initial idea, the animation contains potential negative aspects that can influence children. As the evolution of educational animation goes further, there needs to be more complexity and consider psychoanalytical approach in the film to indeed educate kids in a proper way.

References

Ansari, A., & Crosnoe, R. (2015). Children’s hyperactivity, television viewing, and the potential for child effects. Children and Youth Services Review, 61, 135-140. doi:10.1016/j.childyouth.2015.12.018.

Baydar, N., Gökşen, F., Kağitçibaşi, C., & Küntay, A. C. (Jul, 2008). Effects of an educational television program on preschoolers: Variability in benefits. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 29, 349-360. doi:10.1016/ j.appdev.2008.06.005.

Bialystok, E. (Feb, 2006). Second-language acquisition and bilingualism at an early age and the impact on early cognitive development. Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development. Retrieved from: https://www.highlineschools.org /cms/lib07/WA01919413/Centricity/Domain/128/Dual%20Language/ Bilingualism%20at%20an%20early%20age%20-%20impact%20on %20cognitive%20development.pdf.

Chen, Y. J., Chen, Y. J., Cherng, R. J., Lin, L. Y., & Yang, H. M. (2014). Effects of television exposure on developmental skills among young children. Infant Behaviour and Development, 38, 20-26. doi:10.1016/j.infbeh.2014.12.005.

Cooper, N. R., Kostyrka-Allchorne, K., & Simpson, A. (June, 2016). The relationship between television exposure and children’s cognition and behaviour: A systematic review. Developmental Review, 44, 19-58. doi:10.1016/j.dr. 2016.12.002.

Curry, Z. D., & Gaines, K. S. (2011). The inclusive classroom: The effects of color on learning and behavior. Journal of Family and Consumer Sciences Education, 29(1), 46-57. Available at http://www.natefacs.org/JFCSE/v29no1/ v29no1Gaines.pdf

Dora the Explorer (n.d.). In Wikipedia. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Dora_the_Explorer

Dora the Explorer image (n.d.) Retrieved from https://33hpwq10j9luq8gl43e62q4e-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Dora-the-Explorer.jpg

Dora the Explorer theme song (n.d). Retrieved from http://www.metrolyrics.com/theme-song-lyrics-dora-the-explorer.html#/ixzz4ybykcb1A

Gutierrez, K. (Mar, 2016). The Psychology of Color: How Do Colors Influence Learning? Conor Psychology, Retrieved from https://www.shiftelearning.com/blog/how-do- colors-influence-learning

Habib, K., & Soliman, T. (2015). Cartoons’ Effect in Changing Children Mental Response and Behaviour. Open Journal of Social Sciences, 3, 248-264. http://dx.doi.org/10.4236/jss.2015.39033.

Mumtaz, S., & Humphrey, G. W. (June, 2001). The effects of bilingualism on learning to read English: evidence from the contrast between Urdu-English bilingual and English monolingual children. Blackwell Publishers, 24, 113±134. doi: 10.1111/1467-9817.t01-1-00136

Oller, D. K., & Eilers, R. E.(2002). Language and Literacy in Bilingual Children. Retrieved from https://books.google.ca/books? hl=en&lr=&id=iSVAcN5_mJ0C&oi=fnd&pg=PR7&dq=Language+and+literacy +in+bilingual+children.&ots=WvCgE5Snj2&sig=IBPSztsAsM- ML_LyD5VQBn8g-9k#v=onepage&q=Language%20and%20literacy%20in %20bilingual%20children.&f=false

Rose, G. (2016). Visual Methodologies: An Introduction to Researching with Visual Materials. Sage Publications Ltd, 4, 147-185.

Staff, E. (Oct, 2013). Effect of different Colours on Human Mind and Body. Available at   https://humannhealth.com/effect-of-different-colors-on-human-mind-and-body/ 243/8/

Spencer, B. (Dec, 2013). Why peace and quiet may be best for baby: Listening to repetitive, continuous noise can hinder a child's development. Retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2518453/Why-peace-quiet-best-baby- Listening-repetitive-continuous-noise-hinder-childs-development.html

The Map Song from Dora the Explorer (n.d.) Retrieved from https://genius.com/Dora- the-explorer-im-the-map-lyrics

[tune-collective]

Chris Cornell on 'Daymares' From Making Music for 'The Promise' & Update on Soundgarden's Next Album

Chris Cornell on 'Daymares' From Making Music for 'The Promise' & Update on Soundgarden's Next Album

Though Chris Cornell is not Armenian, when his friend, movie producer Eric Esrailian, approached him about writing the end-title song for The Promise, a $100 million movie that deals with the Armenian genocide, the theme resonated with him. Cornell’s wife’s family is Greek and had been affected by the same WWI genocide that led to the death of 1.5 million Armenians by the Ottoman Empire.

“Literally, it’s the DNA that goes from my children back to my wife’s grandparents, who were both refugees of that policy,” says the Soundgarden frontman. “It felt like that connection was there.”

The movie, which opens Friday and stars Oscar Isaac and Christian Bale, was a passion project for Esrailian and former MGM owner/billionaire Kirk Kerkorian. Kerkorian, who was of Armenian descent, died in 2015 after the film started production.

Cornell’s song, also titled “The Promise,” features lush orchestration arranged by the legendary Paul Buckmaster, best known for his work with Elton John and The Rolling Stones. Cornell, who has tackled tough subjects in his film work before — including human trafficking in “Misery Chain” for 12 Years a Slave and The Keeper, his Golden Globe-nominated song from Machine Gun Preacher — talked about creating “The Promise” and his doubts that he was the right man for the job. It’s a project that has stuck with Cornell, who choked up when he recalled researching the genocide and the images that he can’t unsee.

Your song leaves the listener with a sense of hope following what is a horrible human tragedy. How hard was that to achieve?

The hope was built into the story. To me, the challenge was being able to distill it in a couple of verses and a chorus. That’s always hard.

The song’s opening line, “If I had nothing to my name/ But photographs of you,” comes from a documentary you watched that talked about Armenians fleeing with photos of their loved ones. Was that image your way in to the song?

I just was sitting there and I sang the first line. I’m not sure how conscious I was of it, but I’d been so moved by photographs being taken over things they needed to survive. I’m always looking for the person that sings the song, and it’s never really me. Even if I’m writing a song that’s about me, it’s always someone else. I imagined this young man singing the song to a photo of his father or grandfather about the inspiration that he was and rededicating himself to persevering against whatever odds there might be. In the case of the genocide, it was horrendous.

Have you done this much research for a movie song before? 

No, and I hadn’t planned on doing any for this because you’re talking about a four-minute song. There’s such a thing as being overwhelmed with too much information to do that. It’s a song for a film and there needs to be a harmonious relationship to the film as opposed to deciding I have a different job. I read [director] Terry [George’s] script and I was watching rough edits and I thought that was going to be it. Then one day, I was listening to the negative voices in my head too much, saying, “This isn’t your story, so why the f— are you writing it? Maybe I need to expose myself to a little more.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPiJ79Ure1I

System of a Down’s Serj Tankian, who’s of Armenian descent, served as an adviser on this film. Was there a moment when you wondered why he wasn’t writing the song? 

There was, actually. [Laughs] The first time I really started to learn about what the Armenian genocide was was when Serj was interviewing his grandfather for a documentary [Screamers]. I felt like there’s such a thing as being too close to it and such a thing as being too far away from it. When Eric asked me to do it, I figured there’s a reason and he’s a smart guy and hopefully I can live up to the task.

Did you pay attention to Gabriel Yared’s score?

Yeah. I felt there was a certain mood of it that led me on my way, especially the melodies, [because] there was a new conundrum that I hadn’t dealt with before — [the song] needed to be a little out of time. I couldn’t have any popular musical references that are all natural to me. Normally, if there’s something that sounds a little bit Zeppelin-y or Beatle-y to me as I’m writing a song, I always steer into it because they’re my natural influences. I had to not do that. I didn’t want to go overtly in a direction of Armenian music because the song needed to do a bigger job; it shouldn’t be confined by geography. That was the biggest obstacle: How do you write a song ignoring all the musical influences that you’ve ever had? [Laughs]

You’re donating your proceeds from the song to the International Rescue Committee, which is in keeping with the tone of the project. 

I think it’s weird, period, just being a musician or a songwriter or celebrity and getting involved in any kind of cause that can be referred to as a cause celebre. You’re always walking this line of, is this convenient to me or am I actually doing some good in the world? And the point always is to do some good in the world, so that was an easy decision. I think it probably started before one word of the script was written, which was: This is not a vehicle for commerce from any angle.

Genocide goes on today. How did that play into your writing the song?

I’d love to be able to have the effect of [The Promise] not just represent a century ago, but bring it into now. When people get done watching the film, rather than think, “Wow, what a horrendous thing that happened a century ago,” realize that it is happening now, realize the film [is] telling a true story and you’re seeing how it was created. And the fact that those warning signs are pretty much always the same leading up to a genocide. We have the ability as a global community to pre-empt that, if we’re paying attention and we’re not allowing our leaders to politicize it and get away with it. It’s the goal of everyone in the film that it’s representative of the past, but it’s also exposing the present.

Did you have nightmares after you saw the movie and the documentaries?

It was more like daymares. Especially seeing some of the images and some of the documentary footage. You can’t unsee it. [Chokes up]

Is there a particular image that you’re thinking of? 

No. [Long pause] I don’t want it to not stay with me. I remember years ago, we were doing Badmotorfinger, and I saw some drama on the Holocaust with Willem Defoe as a boxer [Triumph of the Spirit]. I watched it late at night, and I woke up the next morning and we were flying from Sausalito back to Seattle. I got a migraine so bad that I had to be hospitalized. The blood vessels had expanded so much in my brain that I couldn’t really talk. I could see that this was blue [points to a bottle], but I couldn’t remember the word that was the symbol for the color blue. It was a scary thing and I’ve never had that since, but it’s stuck with me that there’s some part of me that has a hard time with that on some level that’s way more intense than I would have expected.

On a totally different note, you go back on the road with Soundgarden on April 28. What’s the update on the new album, and what are you looking forward to the most about the tour?

We’re about halfway through writing the new album. We’re not on a schedule.What I look forward to the most — because I tour so much, especially the last couple of years, by myself — is the camaraderie. It’s what we missed when we weren’t a band. When I do solo tours, I’m really kind of alone all the time, so that’s the best thing about it.

This article originally appeared on Billboard.

http://tunecollective.com/2017/04/18/chris-cornell-daymares-making-music-promise-update-soundgardens-next-album/