#could have just blocked and moved on but whatever. it's your blog and your choice..

[saerins]

─── 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍-𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏

+ michael kaiser x f!reader | wc 2.8k | content: fluff, kaiser is persistent lol, making out, suggestive

notes: idk babes …. hopefully i didn’t butcher him <3 running back to sae after this 🫡 kaiser lovers, enjoy the one and only kaiser fic on my blog !! hehe

summary: kaiser has more reason to visit his regular cafe spot now. and he’s not gonna quit until he makes you his.

kaiser thinks you’re pretty.

call him stupid or superficial or whatever, but he can’t help it. he walks over to the far end of the counter where you’re working, staring intently at the latte art you’re doing.

it’s horrible. you’re probably new. figures, because he lives right above in the apartment complex and he’s never seen you here before. it’s a damn crime.

“i want a flat white cappuccino, hot, and could you make it with a heart on top?”

you furrow your brows and look up at him, his elbows propped on the stainless steel countertop, cheeky smirk filling his face. you continue wearing your straight expression as you go back to the task at hand.

“i’m not the waiter. you can ask mimiko, she’s the one at the register.”

kaiser doesn’t know her either. she must be new too.

you’re not that friendly. not that kaiser minds; he’ll break through your walls. that’s his personal challenge. he’ll do it.

“but i wanna talk to you.”

still unamused, you sigh and look at him, putting down your frother.

“get in line.”

“hey y/n!”

kaiser’s still optimistic after the failed fifth attempt. he managed to get your name from mimiko when you finally made him go away that first day he saw you. to which you groaned, but kaiser only grinned.

today’s no different. you frown when he walks in, immediately relegating to the back corner of the bar. too bad though, kaiser’s got charms, he’s made quick friends with everyone else here plus he has the famous soccer player privilege so your other colleagues love him.

that’s why he manages to get behind the counter in no time, saying he’ll help work the register. but really, he has no clue what to do and he’s just dilly-dallying around you.

“no, real talk, why do you hate me so much?” kaiser asks, not really bothered but more curious.

you don’t even take him seriously. you’ve looked at him probably about twice this entire day, and one time wasn’t even by choice; it was only because kaiser was blocking your path to the fridge and wouldn’t budge unless you said please. (you didn’t. you just glared at him until he moved.)

“i don’t like your hair.”

“hey, what’s wrong with my hair?”

you shrug. “just don’t like it.”

“okay but what about my tattoos, you like those right?”

kaiser moves to adjust his shirt to let you see but you walk off.

“not really.”

he sighs, you’re really hard to get close to, he’ll give you that. but he’s not one to give up.

before kaiser can say anything else, a bunch of girls from the counter call your name, and he sees you smile for the first time since he’s met you and he feels even more hooked on you.

the control you have over him is pretty insane, and it’s only because kaiser allows it.

you and your friends talk about normal stuff. they’re asking how work’s going and you say it’s fine—just that there’s an annoying guy that won’t quit talking to you.

“wow, fifth date and you’re already telling your friends about me?” kaiser interjects, putting an arm around your shoulder and greeting your friends. he’s positive you’re seething right now, but he continues on. “hey there, you can call me kaiser.”

as your friends blush and introduce themselves, all kaiser notices is how you don’t push him away like you always used to upon first contact. so hey, maybe he is making progress after all.

“so, barista y/n l/n, what’re your plans for today?”

it’s been two months since you started working in the cafe, and it’s been two months since kaiser’s relentless pursuit. he’s not backing down though.

“well, player michael kaiser, that’s none of your business,” you absentmindedly respond as you clean the glass in your hand with the cloth and put it back up on the shelf.

lucky for him, mimiko is on his side.

“our dear y/n has a blind date tonight,” she coos, getting a sigh out of you and winking at kaiser.

“first of all, i’m not a player,” kaiser makes sure to tell you, hurriedly making his way behind the counter as if he owns the place. “second of all, who’s the guy?”

you press your lips into a firm line and repeat yourself, “none of your business, kaiser.”

“but it is.”

“why the hell would it be?”

kaiser pouts. “because i like you.”

it takes you a while to respond, swallowing the lump in your throat. “i’ve been nothing but mean to you, you sure you’re not just a masochist?”

that’s a blatant lie, kaiser knows. he knows you’re not actually mean, you just have a sharp tongue.

kaiser notices how you notice him—placing three sugars in his coffee and doing it for him whenever you make it. adding to that; you personally make all of kaiser’s drinks instead of handing it to the other barista, and you make little hearts on top. (at first he thought you might’ve really wanted to poison him, but hey, he’s alive so probably not.) he knows you give someone else the horrible latte art and give him the nicer one you do. he knows how you’ve never actually been mean to him aside from saying you hated his hair and tattoos. (but then he also caught you staring at the rose that one time so maybe you don’t.)

“nope, pretty sure i like you,” kaiser affirms, because in the sunlight he thinks your invisible halo is shining and he’d be a lot more lovestruck now if half of him wasn’t upset that you’re going to go on a blind date when he can’t even score alone time with you.

“what’s his name?” he asks you again, when you don’t respond to him.

it’s about a half hour till closing, he’ll have the whole time to pitch himself to you, maybe. score a date or something. hell, maybe he’ll even convince you not to go on the—

“y/n, right?”

kaiser whips his head to the side to see your supposed date already here.

“i’m yukimiya kenyu,” he’s shaking your hand and you’re actually smiling. at a guy. do you smile at anyone as long as they’re not kaiser? “ready to go?”

“she has another half hour to go, idiot,” kaiser lets slip, catching a warning glare from you.

yukimiya grins sheepishly at the animosity, but you’re quick to defuse the tension. “actually i get off a half hour early today so i’m good to go,” you tell yukimiya, ignoring kaiser behind you. “just let me get my bag and we can go, okay?”

while you’re in the back clocking out, kaiser glares at your date, who’s leaning against the counter and scrolling through his socials. he’s clean, neat, looks like he could be a model. is that your type? kaiser can do that too, does he need to show you all the endorsement deals he’s done?

you leave without saying goodbye, laser focused on yukimiya and whatever the fuck he’s saying and kaiser has never felt more irritated.

“so, how’s your date with pretty boy?”

that’s mimiko asking, because kaiser is still a little pouty even a week later.

“it was fine, we’re into a lot of the same stuff apparently.”

kaiser’s still hovering around you though, because it’s off-season and he’s going to spend every moment he can chasing you. you’re not making it easy though. you’re still giving him the cold shoulder sometimes.

“when’s the next date?”

kaiser is too focused on the thin air he’s staring into to notice you briefly throwing him a quick glance.

“don’t know if there is one, honestly.”

that manages to get kaiser’s attention, his mood immediately perking up and eyes now fully focused on you.

“why not? thought you guys had a lot in common or whatever,” kaiser half-mocks, still a little salty. (which is a little funny to you, considering what kind of person he is in the soccer world.)

you roll your eyes and sigh, moving to keep all the cutleries that you’ve just shined. “don’t know,” you tell them, “maybe because when i was on the date i kept thinking of this annoying guy i know.”

kaiser freezes up. did you really just say that? he’s going to take a shot and just assume he’s the only annoying guy you know. no one should take that position from him.

from the side, mimiko slowly shuffles away, leaving the two of you alone by the coffee machine.

“so… does that mean you’re giving annoying guy a shot?” kaiser’s grinning from ear to ear now, and it’s probably infectious because you’re trying to suppress a grin too.

“maybe, but if he screws it up i’m done with him.”

you’re still trying to act fierce, but it’s too late because kaiser can see through it now. you’re really just a softie inside, aren’t you?

“then are you free this weekend?”

you look at him for the first time with no disinterest in your eyes, like you’re really looking at him now. “what for?”

kaiser smirks. “annoying guy is gonna take you out for the best first date of your life.”

kaiser doesn’t know if he succeeded. but hey, it’s been three hours since the date started and you haven’t run away yet so he must be doing okay.

he takes you to the amusement park first, because one time when you were idly chattering away with mimiko he heard you saying you haven’t been to one in ages. so here you are, on the third rollercoaster ride and you’re having so much fun kaiser’s proud of himself.

turns out you’re surprisingly nice to be around when you’re not being such a grouch. kaiser’s only liking you even more now. likes you even when you’re so excited to eat the corn dog that you get mustard on your face—that only means he gets to wipe it off. likes you also when you bat your pretty eyelashes at him so he’d win you that bunny toy you like in the claw machine.

“so, how am i doing?” kaiser asks when he escorts you to his car—next stop is dinner.

you hum, taking a bite of the big unicorn candy floss in your hand. “a solid six.”

kaiser clicks his tongue in faux annoyance, “it’ll be an eleven by the end of tonight.”

you laugh again and kaiser thinks all this work is worth it. he opens the car door for you, makes sure the aircon isn’t too cold that you freeze, lets you play your music in his car.

you’re kind of the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, but then again he might be biased. but who cares? you’re also kind of one of the most annoying, but you think the same of him. and you’re not scared of jumping into anything, he can tell because when he pulls up in a parking lot outside of the restaurant, he tells you he wants to kiss you kinda.

your answer?

kaiser never really expected you to agree. but you do; because you climb over to the driver’s seat and settle on his lap, your lips inches away and a smirk forming on your face when you see he’s taken off guard.

“want me to kiss you, kaiser?” you’re teasing him, and he thinks you’ve never looked hotter. he can feel your breath against his lips and fuck your lips are so so close and he wants to taste you so so bad.

but then he remembers who he is and straightens up, cursing himself for letting himself be so flustered into submission. “only if the lady wants it.”

you scoff, rolling your eyes and moving to open his side of the door, “well, if you don’t wanna—”

kaiser closes the door as soon as it opens and turns you to face him, “fuck, just kiss me already.”

the two of you hold onto each other, his hands around your waist and entangled in your hair, his lips gentle and rough on yours both at the same time. you taste sweet, must be all that candy floss you ate. he wants to taste more of you. the little sounds you make when you’re almost out of breath? music to his fucking ears. he’s so whipped for you and he hates you for it. but he also loves you for being like this, for being you.

you’re the first to pull away, smirking and biting your lower lip as you keep your index finger on his lips, separating him from you. “how was that, kaiser?” he doesn’t think you can sound more seductive if you tried.

“y/n l/n, you drive me insane.”

kaiser can’t even focus on dinner after that.

fourth date in and kaiser’s fucking pathetic.

really, he can’t even remember ever being this pathetic because you’ve got him wrapped around your cute little pinky finger.

“what’re you staring at, perv?” you ask, catching him staring as you’re idly flipping through the channels.

it’s a lazy sunday in, you and kaiser are at his apartment, on his bed, watching movies. kaiser sighs because ness walked in on the both of you earlier and even though he’s more than happy to show you off, he’s not looking forward to the interrogation that will unfold.

“staring at your stupid pretty face,” kaiser says, and you avert your gaze, pouting, which kaiser has found out two days ago is just to subvert from your embarrassment.

“hey, when’re you leaving for the champions league again?”

“next week, why?”

you deadpan at him, “what, not gonna invite me to something?”

kaiser stares at you for a minute, dumbfounded, before laughing. that must be the first time ever that you’re asking him for something. up until now, it’s always been him.

“you know what, forget i asked,” you grumble, pouting even more and kaiser has to peck a kiss on your lips from how adorable he thinks you’re being.

“fuck, you’re cute,” he thinks out loud, and you look away.

it’s not like the both of you are together, he thinks, as his finger moves up and down your arms, watching as the goosebumps appear and disappear. but kaiser whatever this situation is, kaiser wants it. he wants this and more and he’s so far gone in you and he doesn’t mind.

“you better be in the front row, okay?” kaiser tells you that night, resuming that conversation. you move to straddle him instead and relish in how he’s dragging his eyes all over your body.

“yes, sir.”

fuck, you really do drive him fucking insane.

kaiser finds it sexy, how you’re in the front row at one of his matches, how you’re wearing a jersey with his name and number on it, how he knows you’re cheering for him and him only.

he invites you to all of his games, puts you up in his hotel, sneaks you around so you won’t be under the public eye. it’s thrilling, and you’re still the same you, beautiful, gorgeous, kind.

you’re still not together, but now he’s sure where he’s headed with you. after six months of whatever this is, he thinks you’d kill him if you weren’t sure. and kaiser thinks you’re just waiting for him, so he’s going to make it memorable.

so, so memorable.

his team makes it to the finals, and with noel noa leading everyone, it’s no surprise they win. the bleachers go wild, everyone is chanting the club cheer, fanning their merch wildly.

kaiser is being pounced on by ness and his other teammates, so is noel. but kaiser pushes through it, weaves out of it, and he’s headed straight to you.

in front of everyone in the stadium, in front of international television, kaiser is running across the field and making his way to you.

kaiser is fast and persistent and so pathetic because he’s so into you and all he knows is he wants you around. for a long time, and forever, if he dare say. so he throws his legs over the railing and kisses you without hesitation, the entire crowd going wild.

he’s kissing you, slow and smiling against your lips and you’re holding onto his arms and fuck you’re so perfect.

“well,” you say when kaiser finally pulls away, his hand still on the back of your neck, “that’s one way to make things public.”

kaiser chuckles, pressing a kiss on your forehead. “now the whole world knows you’re mine,” he says, aware that everyone on his team is probably passing money around because he’s sure they bet on when he’d finally make you his girlfriend.

“you’re crazy, michael kaiser.”

yeah, but you love him, don’t you?

he loves you too, by the way.

kaiser pulls away and winks at you right before he gets ready to get back to his team.

“guess i’ll have to top this when i ask you to marry me, huh?”

[bvtbxtch]

Angry Heart | Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader (Part 2: Graduation)

Series Summary: Your best friend Chrissy Cunningham always got everything she ever wanted, even you new friend and crush Eddie Munson. When Chrissy does the unthinkable, Eddie is left to pick up the pieces alone... or is he?

Chapter Summary: Ditching Eddie and Chrissy might have been the best decision you ever made. You were now graduated, had a great group of friends and a new found confidence. But even though it was a great choice, you still felt a piece of your heart missing. With a few mysterious phone calls and a box full of things, maybe you were right in feeling a little cautious about your choice to leave the metalhead alone.

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Chrissy Cunningham, Eddie Munson x Reader (eventually), reader and Chrissy are friends but have a fallout. Minimal usage of Y/N

Series warnings: MDNI 18 +, Smut, fluff and angst (everything all rolled into one beautiful shit show), mentions of drugs and alcohol being consumed, overall adult language and theme. By clicking the read more, you agree that you are over 18! Ageless and minor blogs who interact will be blocked.

Word Count: 11.5k (SORRY)

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE ON THIS LITTLE STORY. Thank you for being patient with me as well. I was not anticipating in it taking a month to get this part out but I have had some health issues that really had to take precedent first before I could relax and start writing. Thank you so much to everyone who reached out to see if I was okay <3 I did just want to mention that after this part, I will NOT be adding a taglist. You are all so incredibly supportive but I have been (still) getting DMs and replies about being on the taglist and I am feeling a little overwhelmed. I will be making a masterlist and when I do make that, I will add everyone from the AH taglist <3 thank you for understanding!!

Prologue

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

June 1986

You had awaited this day for what seemed forever. You had planned what life after high school was going to look like for you since you were in middle school. Chrissy had infiltrated your plans as soon as you met; you often imagined the two of you moving to Indianapolis, or even to New York. You would get a shitty little apartment together and you would find jobs working in bookstores or coffee shops and have next to no money, but you would be together, and you would be on your own. Eddie also quickly ended up being part of your after school plans. He would move with you, or maybe get an apartment with Gareth and Jeff and then the five of you would go on adventures all over whatever city you overran. That was one of the things you loved the most about Eddie, his ability to find adventure wherever he went and whatever he was doing. Maybe there would be some opportunity for you and Eddie to finally get together-

The two people you never saw your life without were now but distant furniture in your mind. The past month brought you a lot of clarity. You actually hadn’t talked to either Eddie or Chrissy since the day after prom. Chrissy had come up to you the next day, pale face and dark circles around her eyes, but she still was glowing somehow. She laid her head next to your locker and greeted you with a lovestruck sigh.

“Wasn’t prom just an absolute dream?” You slammed your locker and rolled your eyes at her, which made her jump. “What’s up with you?” she pouted. “I want to tell you all about my magical night-”

“Yeah Chris. I know all about your magical night. Okay?” You snapped. She was taken aback. “Go talk about how magical your night was with someone else, got it?” You turned on your heel and walked away from the blonde. You were too angry to be sad. Too empowered to cower under her influence. You deserved better and you knew it. 

“Woah, woah! What is going on? Did I do something?” she jogged after you. You let out a dry laugh and turned to face her. 

“‘He only kissed you back because he felt bad for you” You mocked. Not breaking contact while the light drained from her eyes. Suddenly, her vision clouded with tears. In her drunken haze, she had forgotten the confrontation in the hallway. She knew she shouldn’t have said what she did. Deep down, she knew it was a lie, but she was too insecure to confront Eddie about his feelings for you. Driving you away was easier than her feeling like she was second best.

“Y/N I-”

“You know what Chrissy? I really thought that we were going to be friends forever. I really thought that you would have my back through thick and thin. But you showed me your true colors. You don’t care about me. If you did, you wouldn’t do what you did.”

“Did what I did? You kissed my boyfriend!” She yelped.

“Who you treat like shit, Chrissy! You kept him a secret so you could let Carver think that he had a chance of getting in your pants last night. You immediately took Eddie’s side when he told you what happened, and not trusting your best friend of over a decade.” She shook her head at you in disbelief

“A real friend would have been happy for me to find someone like Eddie -  who makes me happy, and pulls away when he tries to kiss you.” She poked 

“A real friend wouldn’t ever pursue a boy who I’m obviously in love with” It slipped out. You didn’t mean to tell her. You both stood staring at each other through wide, glassy eyes. You took a few breaths and your gaze hardened. 

“I should have said this to you the night you kicked me out of your house. I should have said this to you last night when you let me down. You are a shitty friend, Chrissy Cunningham, and you’re a shitty person. Don’t talk to me ever again.” Before she had any time to respond, you turned and strutted to your next class. Your heart hurt, but it felt so good to be confident enough in yourself, to be able to tell her how you really feel. She was done growing and flourishing, you had just started.

Eddie was too cowardly to come talk to you about what happened. He was so painfully in love with you, he couldn’t stand to see you get hurt again. So he admired you from afar, secretly cheering you on, as Chissy now interlocked her arm with his down the hallways. He was tired of making wrong decisions so he let the decisions be made for him. He couldn’t help feel a pang of desperation as graduation grew closer and closer, and the one person he wanted to be around drifted further and further out of his reach.

You slipped on the scratchy green polyester gown, refusing to fasten your cap to your freshly curled hair until you got to the school. Your wedges felt foreign in comparison to your regular Reeboks and you were compulsively checking your compact mirror to ensure your lipstick was perfect. You were so excited to get the formal convocation over with to go party at Gareth’s house. You strolled into the gym to be greeted by a group of drama friends, you all shared niceties and took a few pictures with the polaroid you toted with you. You had formed a small circle of friends in the last month of classes. Although they weren’t Gareth’s cup of tea, he was happy to invite them to the afterparty if it meant that you had more incentive to be there with him. Since cutting off Eddie and Chrissy, you spend way more time in the theatre during lunches and with Gareth afterschool and before Hellfire. Old you would have hoped that Eddie saw and was jealous. New you didn’t give half a shit. 

You heard a familiar voice call your name and as you craned your neck to make eye contact, you broke from the crowd to run into Gareth’s embrace.

“Wow, Emerson! Thought I would never see you in a cap and gown!” You teased, but beamed up at him.

“Shut up… You look great” he smiled back at you. You quickly took your camera from around your neck and held it up to get both of your faces in frame.

“One for the books” you quipped. He rubbed your back affectionately as the microphone on the stage squealed. You found your seat and begrudgingly put your cap on. As you scanned the chairs for any more friends, your eyes fell to the door, where Eddie and Chrissy came walking in hand-in-hand. As angry as you were, you were happy to see Eddie finally succeeding in graduating. It brought warmth to your cheeks and a small smile to your lips. What you didn’t expect is for him to make eye contact with you. You froze. His gaze was soft, almost yearning. He raised a hand to you and offered a small grin. You waved back, too stunned to smile. He looked good. He looked happy. It filled you with melancholy for a moment before you broke eye contact and put your thoughts back together. You were here to succeed for you. You had friends that loved and appreciated you for you. You were going to go run amuck in a new city and find other people who loved you. And it all started here and now. You were going to grab that diploma, get blasted, and get the hell out of Hawkins. 

Your name was called and you walked across the stage. A louder-than-you-were-expecting applause erupted, along with whoops and hollers from Jeff and Gareth, and the hellfire freshmen that were in the audience. You bowed as your tassel was flipped and caught gorgeous brown eyes staring up at you again, clapping wildly and grinning. He was genuinely proud of you, you could tell. He was sorry, you could tell. When it was his turn to walk the stage, you were one of the few that clapped for him. But you stood up and gave him a loud cheer. You were proud of him, he could tell. As he hopped down from the stage, he ran up to Chrissy’s spot- where she held her diploma in her manicured hands  - and picked her up. He planted a kiss on her lips while he ran out of the gym. As much as you have grown, you wished it was you he was kissing, carrying out. You let the thought leave as their silhouettes vanished. It was time to party and forget about feelings. 

Gareth’s house was bustling. Music was blasting throughout the house and it was rattling in your ribcage. Your head was swimming with the ‘punch’ you had already consumed while playing flip cup and beer pong. You laughed with your friends, so truly glad to be able to forget about the impending doom of real life and have fun with your favorite people. You slinked your way through the crowd over to Gareth, who was tending the punch bowl. He smiled at you and handed you another solo cup. 

“Having fun?” he asked. You wrapped your arm around his waist and rested your head on his chest. He threw his arm around your shoulders, putting a little too much weight on you. He was drunk as well. You giggled

“This is the best party. Thanks for hosting, Garebear” you slur.

“Woah woah, Garebear? Absolutely not.” he scolds, pulling away from you. You let out a full chuckle as you clink your cup with his and down your drink.

Your night progressed to telling embarrassing stories in the living room over a game of Jenga. Your head was spinning and as much as you liked this feeling of weightlessness, you were afraid you were going to drift away. You pushed off of the couch and weaved your way through the crowds to the back door. You slid open the screen and you were gratefully met with a cool summer breeze. It was still warm, but the wind gave you goosebumps. You sighed with content and closed your eyes as you leaned onto the deck’s banister. 

“Having fun?”

Your eyes shot open and you looked over your right shoulder. In the shadows of the small outdoor light, you saw a tall, slender figure, and the outline of long, frizzy hair. Your smile faltered. He stepped into the light and took a drag from his cigarette

“Yeah, um… Sorry for disturbing you” you turned to walk back into the house

“Wait-” he grabbed your shoulders and turned you to him. Your breath caught in your throat and you felt like you were going to be sick. You were too close; Intoxicatingly close. You could smell the cigarettes on his breath.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” You blurted out. He pulled his hands away and took a step back like you had burnt him. He looked guilty but sorrowful.

“Uh, we decided to go to different parties tonight.” He mumbled. You chuckled and glared into his soft brown eyes. 

“So she didn’t want you to ruin the vibes of her ‘perfect party?”

“No, that’s not it! I just- I wanted to come here because… well because I miss you, and I miss hanging out in a group and I just wanted to come apologize, and, and I knew you wouldn’t hear me out if she was here too.” he panted. You could tell from his pleading eyes that he was serious. Your shoulders relaxed. 

“Eddie, you don’t need to apologize to me, for anything. You got everything you’ve wanted. You graduated, and I am so, so proud of you for that. You got your band and your sheep. And… you have Chrissy. She’s a hot commodity... and you’re lucky to have each other. So you have nothing to apologize for.”

“But I hurt you-”

“And I’m over it. Look, I have no ill will against you, Eddie, but I think we just need to run in different circles for a while.” You murmured, eyes glued to your converse. 

“I-is… is that what you really want?” Eddie took a step towards you. 

NO “Yeah. I have a really great group of friends that love me for me. They don’t need anything else from me but me.”

“You’re still hanging around with Gareth, right?” Eddie hardens. 

“Yeah. I am. He’s been the best friend I could ask for. He takes good care of me.”

“I’ll make sure he keeps taking care of you. I’ll kill him if he hurts you…”

“Save it, Eddie. I am so over your knight-in-shining-armor bullshit. You hurt me. You don’t get to decide who I hang out with or how I’m treated. You had a choice… You chose. So… deal with it.” The alcohol gave you more courage than you needed, but you weren’t mad. You were at peace. You turned and went back to the party. You didn’t realize, but that was just the way you needed to end your night. Closure and clarity. You returned to your spot beside Gareth to play another round of flip cup. Eddie selfishly couldn’t take his eyes off you. When he saw Gareth pick you up in a congratulatory hug, he gritted his teeth. He couldn’t stand picturing your story with Gareth and not him. So he slung back his last beer and stormed out the front door. 

July 1986

The Hideout was never your favorite place to be. It looked like nothing more than a shack from the side of the highway that cut through Hawkins. Half of the lights on the neon side were burnt out, you doubted they had been changed since the joint opened in the 50s. The small bar had a few booths as well as tall bar tables, which were moved to create a makeshift dance floor in front of a dingy stage. The drum kit and microphones barely fit onto it, but you were sure that the ragtag group that made up Corroded Coffin would make it work. They always did before. There were three pool tables in the back of the space, behind the dark linoleum island bar. They had definitely seen better days, most of them missing pieces of velvet or pockets missing nets to catch balls underneath them. They were usually used for bikers or regulars to sit girls on them and make out. The bar smelt stale, like rotting wood, old beer and sweat. There are many places that you would rather be, but when your best friend begs you to make their regular crowd of 10-11 people (including staff) a person or two bigger, you go. Gareth treaded the idea of you coming to the show lightly, as you had not talked to their frontman since the graduation party. You felt no ill will and really didn’t mind being around him. You got your closure, and you were there for Gareth. No need to think too much into it. 

You had seen Eddie around Hawkins in the last month. You had gotten a job at Family Video and would regularly work with Steve and Robin, who Eddie frequented. Your heart didn’t hurt when they talked about him anymore, and when he occasionally showed up to Family Video, or you saw him in Starcourt, or in the grocery store, you gave him the same curt but friendly smile every time. He understood the boundaries that you had given him. Friendly, but not friends. He always smiled back, but his heart sank. He missed you more than you could know.

You shuffled yourself into the closest booth to the stage and waited in soft anticipation. You hadn’t been to a Corroded Coffin show in months. It felt odd but familiar. You ordered yourself a rum and coke and absently sipped it as you listened to the Johnny Cash record that was playing on the jukebox.

You heard the door swing open behind you and a bubbly chuckle ring out through the bar. A sound that you definitely would not picture hearing in a place like this. You turned around to see Chrissy. Of course she would be here. Her strawberry blonde hair was curled in perfect ringlets and was held away from her face with a ribbon. Her long legs were framed perfectly under her light pink romper. Her waist beautifully cinched with a thick purple belt. Her lips were lusciously painted a glossy pink and her lashes were manicured to be wispy. She looked perfect, far too pretty to be here. Behind her followed Tiffany and Sarah. The trio picked a bar table that skirted the dance floor, across the bar from you. You, like most of the men in the building, followed their figures to their seats and Chrissy stole a glance at you. She looked at you and waved but you looked away, sinking a large gulp of your drink. 

Chrissy had reveled in the fact that her prom stunt had secured her some extra attention for the last week or so of school. Everyone seemed to be talking about her in the hallways and although not all of it was good, she thought it was better to have people talking bad about you than not at all. Suddenly, all of the jocks were at her locker, or fighting to sit with her at lunch, desperate to show her that they were better than the freak she had somehow landed herself with. The attention shot her ego and popularity to an alltime high and she became the queen bee of Hawkins - there was no more sharing or cliques, everyone was under Chrissy’s spell. Everyone thought of her as either generous for going to prom with Eddie, or a down-to-earth girl next door because she kept associating herself with him. It made your stomach roll but she continued to smile sweetly at everyone in the hallway. She often let her gaze linger on you too long. She had everything she thought she wanted those last weeks of highschool. Everything but her best friend. And little did she know, the newfound fame didn’t reach beyond the month of June and the hallways of Hawkins High.

As she sat at her table, her manicured nails wagged at men who were ogling her from the bar behind her. She flashed a devious grin to her friends and waltzed over to the bar. You watched closely. Last time you had heard, she was still with Eddie… There's no other reason why she would be here. You heard her boisterous laugh once more as she strutted back to her table, a cocktail in her hand. You never would have thought that Chrissy would be the type to take advantage of anyone, but then again, in the past few months, you watched the person you thought you knew the best change into a stranger in front of you. You rolled your eyes and focused your attention to the glass in your hand. 

You suddenly heard the humm of an amp and the vibrations of a bass being strummed. You looked up to see your friends taking the stage; All but Eddie. You cheered excitedly for Jeff, Gareth and Tommy but your heart pounded wildly in anticipation for the lanky metalhead that was missing. The few stage lights flickered as the energy and volume of the instruments rose and they began their set. Right before he started singing, Eddie sprang onto stage. There sure wasn’t a huge crowd, but everyone cheered as he appeared. You felt a lump in your throat as you watched the men perform, your eyes never leaving Eddie’s form. You felt your temperature rise what felt like 10 degrees. There was no doubt that he had charisma on stage, that is where he was born to be; But you felt all too emotional looking up at the man that you used to call your best friend. The man you thought that you might be in love with, the man that you thought you found closure with. You let yourself feel the waves of emotion flow through you with the music as you rocked back and forth with the rhythm. When applause erupted, you let your mind quiet with the music. The lights came back on and you grabbed your bag and your glass and got ready to return it to the bar. As you got up to leave, you noticed a gaggle of green letterman jackets had pushed their tables next to the one Chrissy and the girls were sitting at. Your anxiety spiked. You hadn’t talked to any of the jocks since prom and were fine with being the pariah of the group, but the fact that none of your friends were with you now made you feel nervous. You peered at the group from the other side of the bar and watched as Jason leaned in to whisper something into Chrissy’s ear. She slapped his arm playfully and giggled. You felt sick. You couldn’t wait for the boys to get their gear so you could say your goodbyes.

“Well, how’d ya like it?” The familiar voice instantly broke the tension in your body. You turned and gave Gareth a peck on the cheek.

“It was awesome, rockstar! You all were great” you say to Jeff and Tommy who were now sitting at the bar. They smiled and raised their fresh beers to you.

“So, you wanna get out of here? After party at my place. Got beer and the shit you like.” he wiggled his eyebrows at you. As much as you wanted to celebrate their show, you needed quiet. You needed to just go home and shower off the gross conflicting feelings you had.

“As tempting as that sounds, I think I just need to go home tonight, Gar.” he studied your face. The sheer amount of time that you had spent with him meant he could read you like a book. He scanned the dingy room and found the source of your anxiety. His gaze hardened at the green jackets infiltrating their space. 

“They better not have said or done anything to you, I’ll kill them-”

“No no no they didn’t, just weird to see them all here” you reassured. Both of your gazes softened as you found the dark battle jacket amongst the lettermen. Eddie was scoffing loudly and flailing his hands. After a fantastic show, you expected to see him beaming, but his face was set in a hard scowl.

Eddie was slowly losing his patience. He had practically begged Chrissy to come to his gig tonight. He knew that there would be potential for the Hideout to start paying them for regular gigs if they brought in a crowd, but this was the opposite of what he wanted. When he was on stage he met with two pairs of eyes, your beautiful bright eyes and her glazed over blue ones. He was disappointed to see one of them. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you the whole set. He had forgotten how much he missed having you in the crowd. He could feel your energy from 20 feet away. It made him want to perform better. When he looked over to Chrissy’s table, he lost his spark. She looked disinterested. She was busy gabbing to her friends the whole time. Then, when he saw the meatheads walk in, he wanted to jump right off the stage and end the gig right then. But he pushed because at least they would be helping their audience numbers. Once Eddie took a moment to mentally prepare himself in the green room after the show, he plastered on a fake smile and sauntered over to Chrissy. He went to give her a chaste peck, but she turned her face for him to kiss her cheek. 

“My lipgloss, Ed!” She giggled. Eddie rolled his eyes, shot her a sickly sweet smile and planted his lips on her cheek. The girls sitting next to Chrissy oohed and ahhed and the jocks kept to their own conversation, but their presence seemed like it was to mock him. He instantly got caught in his own head, wondering if their intent really was malicious, or if he was just reliving past high school trauma. He was pulled out of his trance when Chrissy’s manicured hand pulled on the lapels of his vest. 

“Hey, rockstar! I’m talking to you!” She teased. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“Sorry, babe. What were you saying?”

“There’s a party out at Lover’s Lake, Jason’s parent’s cabin. Do you want to drop off your band stuff first then we can head out? We can grab some blankets and just sleep in the back of the van because I don’t know about you, but I want to be fully alone when we-” she blabbed, Eddie cut her off by taking her wrists in his hands. 

“Woah, woah! I told you, the band is having their after party at Gareth’s house. You promised me we would be there. Come on, Chris.” Eddie pouted. She had been ditching him more often to go out with other people. He tried not to let his insecurities get the best of him, but it felt like he was losing her interest. This was something he wasn’t going to budge on. This was his night. She was supposed to be there for him. He couldn’t help but think that if it was you in Chrissy’s place, there wouldn’t even be a debate. He wouldn’t have even had to ask you to show up in the first place.

“Oh, come on. Don’t you want to go out to the cabin?” She searched for any kind of agreement she could get from any of the jocks. They either politely smiled at her or avoided her eye contact. The invitation was for Chrissy not Chrissy and Eddie. “It’s going to be, like a million times better than sitting in Derek’s-”

“Gareth’s” Eddie seethed. 

“Gareth’s - whatever - Gareth’s dusty garage. It’ll be romantic. We can have the whole ride up there just you and me…” She cooed, she moved her lips to the lobe of Eddie’s ear “and I can tell you how wet you made me watching you up on that stage” she whispered. Eddie knew that he should be turned on. But he was so angry with her that he couldn’t oblige her. Not this time. 

“I’m not budging, Chris. We need to go to the afterparty. I need to be there with my boys, too. We have cause to celebrate and this is really important to me.”

“But, Eddie…”

Eddie was tired of the games, he was fed up with her tonight. 

“Either we go to Gareth’s together, or we won’t be seen at any parties anymore.” Eddie challenged. He hated that he had to give her an ultimatum but if that’s what it took., then so be it. He didn’t want to be the tag along. Not tonight. Chrissy’s stare hardened at her. He had never challenged her like that before. 

“Alright, Munson. You win. We’ll go to your little party.” Eddie rolled his eyes and told Chrissy he was going to check in with the rest of the band to see what the plan was. She nodded and Eddie turned away, giving the rest of the table a tight smile. He moped his way over to where you and Gareth watched silently. He seemed to light up a bit when he saw your inviting smile.

“Hey, congrats rockstar. You did an amazing job up there” You wrapped a hand around Eddie’s bicep. Eddie felt a shiver run down his spine at the contact.

“You think so? Thanks.” Eddie blushed. He was always one to be so sure of himself, this lack of confidence threw you off. 

“Hell yeah I think so! It was the best show I have seen you guys do yet!” You exclaimed. 

“Are you gonna come to the afterparty?” Eddie asked, hope splayed in a smile across his face. 

“No, I gotta sit this one out. I have to open Family Video tomorrow.”

Eddie looked dejected. He was so happy to see you in the crowd, he had hoped he would be able to talk to you at the party and really apologize.

“Trust me dude, we’re all bummed. I’ve been trying to change her mind for the past 15 minutes. I even offered to call Robin to ask her to cover myself!” Gareth offers. You give the men a sorry smile. 

“You’re gonna have a great time without me! It’s your night. Don’t let me ruin it.” God, you were so selfless. He couldn’t help but admire you in the dim light. So kind and so beautiful. It wasn’t fair how things ended between you. He was an ass. You turned away from him to walk to the door after sending kind waves to the band.

“Y/N” Eddie grabbed your wrist and pleaded with his chocolate eyes. You got lost in them almost immediately. You knew what you felt when he was on stage and you’re pretty sure he knew and felt it too. “Wait, please come to the-”

“Eddie! Are we going or what?” you hear a shrill voice from behind the man staring down at you. Chrissy looked pissed (in more ways than one). Her hands rested on her hips and she tapped her foot on the ground as she swayed. Eddie groaned and let go of you. The heat in your chest quickly faded. You peered around Eddie to smile tightly at the blonde. Her eyes widened and softened at your gesture. She slowly raised her hand to wave to you. You looked back to Eddie.

“You-you better go” you smile sadly at him. “You’re girl’s waiting for you. Have fun tonight, Eddie. Again, you deserve it.”

For the second time, Eddie watched you walk away and he fell into the impatient arms of a girl that he thought  he loved. Eddie’s eyes were glued to your figure as you slipped out of the bar into your car.

As you got in, you let out a big sigh and punched your steering wheel. You knew you made the right choice by leaving and not entertaining anything with the man that trapped your heart all over again, but it would have been so easy to fall back into his arms and pretend like Chrissy didn’t exist. But you didn’t want to stoop to their levels. You didn’t want to get trapped in what was easy versus what was best for you. So you turned the key in the ignition and you quietly drove back to your apartment, retiring to a warm bath and a book, before crawling into bed and letting loneliness and the thought of Eddie on stage singing to you lull you to sleep. 

September 1986

Your first summer of freedom did not follow the plan you thought you had perfected before graduating. Some of those things on your list looked similar, but with different people. You often went joyriding with Steve and Robin after closing Family Video and spent long nights out at Lover’s Lake with old drama club friends. It felt liberating that you didn’t feel a hope about a certain mop headed boy, even though you had been frequenting band practices and summer Hellfire meetings to casually see him as much as possible. You found some independence and even though you often felt lonely without Eddie and Chrissy, you knew you were doing fine without them.

You had just gotten home from a shift at Family Video. The last bit of humid summer air kissed your skin. You shrugged off your vest and other clothes and tossed them into your hamper before starting a steaming shower to wash away the day. You had been looking forward to treating yourself to a face mask, a steam and ending the night by curling up into bed with the newest Stephen King novel. You flopped down on your bed, dawning your favorite oversized tee shirt from your dad’s auto body shop and a pair of sleeper shorts. Your hair was tied loosely in a towel and your face felt clean and soft. You sighed with content as the night was finally yours. You don’t remember how long it took, but you dozed. You awoke to the record you had started playing being long hushed; your glassy eyes opened in accompaniment to the shrill ring of your phone. You grabbed at it and groggily answered. You were greeted by preppy sobs ringing through your ear. 

“H-hello?”

“Y-Y/N” Chrissy wailed. You could smell the alcohol wrecking her through the phone. “I-I need you to tell me I’m not a bad person.”

You paused and almost laughed to yourself. “Chrissy, why are you calling me?”

“I, I just need someone to tell me that I am not a bad person, okay? No one likes me anymore.” You could hear hiccups between her sobs and shuffling from whatever party she was at.

“It’s late, Chrissy. You should go home and go to sleep-” You move to hang up the phone but her cry stops you. 

“I did a really bad thing, Y/N and I need someone to tell me that I’m worth keeping around because no one likes me anymore. No one wants to talk to me and no one looks at me and I want boys to look at me and like me and-”

“Chrissy you have the boy that you love right now. What are you talking about? You have everything you could ever want…” You scoffed. 

“Y/N, I, I don’t think I love Eddie. I don’t think I ever did.” Chrissy whispers. The phone stays quiet save for the party behind her. Her sniffles break the silence every few moments.

“What did you do, Chris?” Your head was spinning. How could she not love Eddie? One of the easiest people on the planet to love. He was the boy who knew how to make anyone feel special and wanted just by looking at them. He would drop anything and run to Chrissy if she ever needed anything and you knew that for a fact. You knew that he was eager to take others’ pain away and make it his to help. He was perfect, a treasure that deserved to be protected at all costs, not be treated like this. Eddie was probably alone in his trailer right now, worried about his girlfriend, or waiting to give her a ride home, while she’s calling  you to tell you that she doesn’t love him? How dare she? You wanted to believe that the girl that you used to know was still in there somewhere. That Chrissy would never do anything to hurt someone that she cared about - even if she didn’t love him…

“Well.. there’s this party going on and, and all the old jocks are here you know? A-Aand Jason and I, well like we were always ‘will they won’t they’ you know? And i saw him at this party and Eddie was being a total jerk and didn’t want to come with me and he just doesn’t look at me like these guys do and-”

“What:” you scoff. “Like a piece of meat?”

“Y/N please. Like I am wanted, like I am attractive. Like I am a prize, okay? Eddie looks at me, but it doesn’t feel as good as when Jason or Andy or Patrick looks at me - like in high school-”

“Chrissy, that’s really fucked up and pathetic. Why are you calling me?”

“Because you’re my best friend - well, you were… and I-I-I miss you, I shouldn’t have stopped being your friend, and I’m sorry I let stupid Eddie come in between us.”

“Stop. Chrissy, Eddie didn’t come between you and me, You came between Eddie and I, and the shit you pulled was fucked up. So tell me what you want so I can get off the goddamn phone and I can rinse the disgusting feeling I have off for talking to you about this-”

“I cheated on Eddie”!” She blurted out. “I’ve been cheating on Eddie for months now. And I’m a bad person but it feels so good to be wanted, Y/N I can’t explain it.”

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say, Chrissy. That’s fucked up, even for you. You have been the lowest of fucking low, but I never thought you would be the type of person to totally fuck up your relationship like that. I don’t know why you wanted to call and tell me this, but I don’t feel sorry for you. Not in the slightest. Goodnight.” You slammed your receiver down on your phone and felt tears prick at your eyes. Not your Eddie. Eddie doesn’t deserve this. You sat in contemplative silence - unwilling to believe the conversation you had just happened.Your phone rang again and you jolted in panic. 

“Hello” you whispered. 

“Hey, Y/N… Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up” You heard his gruff voice and your breath hitched. 

“E-Eddie, why are you calling me?”

“Sorry, sorry I just - I’m kind of freaking out because I haven’t heard from Chrissy in like three days and I just got a call from her I think and she was sobbing your name before the line went dead… I - I was just wondering if she had called you or if something happened I guess. This is stupid I shouldn’t have called you” He sounded exhausted and like he had been crying. 

“Eddie, are you okay?”

“What?”

“Are you okay?”

“I… I don’t know. I’m just tired of these disappearing girlfriend tricks I keep getting fucking trapped in.” He lets out a dry chuckle. 

“I don’t know where she is but I think I know where to find her… I’ll let you know if I hear anything. Okay?” You hear his long sigh over the phone and you wish that you could forget the boundaries that had built up between you and run to him. Tell him that you were there for him and kiss away his pain. Your heart was breaking for him (even though you couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction… you had warned him.).

“Hey, Sweetheart?”

“What’s up, Eddie?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about everything-” you heard his voice crack.

“Eddie, it’s okay-”

“No. It’s not.” he cut you off. “I’m so sorry for the shitty person I had been. I fucked up one of the good things I had in my life because I got selfish, and in my own head. I never wanted to hurt you.. I - I just… I don’t know why I chose her. I wanted it to be you so badly, but I forced it.. And I just hope that I can convince you to be my friend again someday.”

“We’ll see what we can do, Ed.” with that you clicked your phone back to the receiver and threw on a flannel. Although you hadn’t been in quite some time, the only place that the meatheads frequented was the Carver residence on the other side of town. You never felt your place there, but you knew how to navigate it. You hastily started your car and set off for your destination.

Jason’s street was littered with abandoned station wagons and empty solo cups. You could hear the music blasting from the beginning of the cul de sac - your head already began to pound. You snaked your way to the end of the manicured driveway and slammed your car door shut. You trudged to the open front door, keeping your head down. As you passed through waves of people, you could feel stares into the back of your head and giggles of your name. You scowled and trained your eyes to search for a pair of tanned legs and a blonde ponytail. You paused in the kitchen, desperate to find Chrissy and your chance to leave when you felt a hand wrap around your waist and warm breath sneak up to your ear.

“I didn’t remember inviting you to my party… outcast” a baritone voice huffs.

“You didn’t, Carver… I’m picking something up and then I will be out of your hair. Don’t let me ruin your night.” You pull away from him but his grip on your waist becomes bruising. 

“Aww, come on, outcast. Why don’t we party like we used to. You’ve been hanging out with the freaks for too long… Forgot how to have fun. Why don’t you let me show you what you’ve been missing, huh?” Jason spun you around so his piercing blue eyes were boring into yours. 

“I would literally rather poke my eyes out with hot knives. Where’s Chrissy”

“Oh, god you really are a desperate frigid bitch, aren’t you? You know I didn’t want to believe Chrissy when she told me but, I guess she was right” The blonde sneered. 

“Yeah, yeah, Jason. I get it. Go take your steroids and show the rest of your friends how manly you are… I’m not interested. Now do you know where I can find her, or did you lose the brain cells for facial recognition too?” Jason stared at you slack jawed, then his grin slid across his face. It made you sick.

“Well, when I left her an hour ago, she was - ahem - cleaning herself up in my room. Feel free to go look there if you’d like… But be warned, you might not like what you see up there.” He giggled. He brought his face into your cheek and your blood froze. He puckered his lips and planted them to the side of your face. 

“It was… so good to see you again, Y/N. Glad to see you really did peak in high school… ugh and that says something, doesn’t it?” He breezed past you to leave you to physically recoil and regather. You wanted to turn around and leave… fuck Chrissy and fuck all of these people… but you had to do this for Eddie. You turned to the staircase facing the kitchen and pace up. Although it had been a long time since you had been in the Carver house, you still felt like you could clear the top floor in a good time. You past couples pressed against hallways and huddled into rooms. You hear giggles and beds creaking and girls crying, but no Chrissy. 

You were ready to give up hope, having tried all of the door handles and being met with locked doors or your apologies for intruding. The last door at the end of the hallway opened as you went to reach for the door and you were met with the girl you had been searching for for the last ten minutes. Her eyes widened in horror and relief to see you. She looked like a mess. Her usually neat slicked ponytail was slated on the side of her head, flyaways crowning her. Her eyes were glazed over eyes were smudged black with mascara and eyeliner. Her flush in her cheeks made her intoxication very apparent and her lips were kiss-swollen and smudged. She sported one of Jason’s old Hawkins raglans in replacement of whatever tiny top she had worn to the party. You felt bad for her at first sight; pity running through your veins as her lips quivered. Her paused tears resumed as she wrapped you in a hug. 

“Thank you so much for coming, Y/N. Thank you so much.” she sobbed. 

“Yeah, Chris. This is fucked. Let’s go, okay?”

You guided the girl down the stairs and out of the house - refusing to look anywhere but the floor in case Jason returned to try and claim you as a prize again. Chrissy had blabbered nonsense all the way to the car while you tried to prevent her from going horizontal. You closed her door and paced back to your side of the car. You were greeted with silence and the smell of vodka.

“Who else, Chrissy?” you whispered. 

“Wh-wha-”

“Who else did you fuck, Chrissy?!” you yelled, your eyes never left her figure, her eyes did not leave her feet. 

“It was just Jason… tonight.”

“For fucks sake! Are you kidding me?”

“Can we just go? I know I’m a piece of shit okay? But some of us need the attention! Okay! I’m not alright with walking around feeling like I am fading away into no one and that no one cares who I am anymore! I want someone to look at me like other girls get looked at! I want to be like you where you can find other friends and you can go out and be effortlessly yourself and everyone loves you!” “What the FUCK are you talking about? You have a boyfriend, Chrissy. He should be the one that makes you feel like that. HE looks at you like that! He is the one that you should be loving because he loves you!” Chrissy let out a dry laugh.

“Oh come on now, Y/N you and I both know he doesn’t love me. He doesn’t look at me like that because he is too busy looking at you like that! You had me and you had him and it wasn’t good enough! So we both needed to settle for second best! And I am just not okay with being second best anymore!”

“You are the one that gave me up for all your popular friends, you and Eddie both chose each other over me! And look who is here picking up the pieces after you handed yourself out to the basketball team, and while your own fucking boyfriend traverses the streets of Hawkins because he has no idea where you are! I was fucking right. You both deserve each other.” You shoved your car into drive and rolled your car into the road. Chrissy silently sobbed while you focused your eyes on the night ahead of you. 

Your ride was long and awkward. When you pulled up to your house, Chrissy seemed surprised. 

“I can’t let you go back to your house like this, Chris. We need to get you cleaned up.” She nodded a silent thank you and the two of you retreated to the second floor of your house. You got Chrissy a change of clothes and a toothbrush while she was in the shower and put her alcohol drenched outdfit in the wash. You waited for her in your room. When she sheepishly entered, you gestured to the bed you had made for her on the floor. She settled into her blankets and an awkward silence covered you once again.

“Thank you, Y/N. I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me… I don’t deserve it.”

“I know, Chrissy. But you need someone to help you make a couple good decisions tonight. That was a fucking mess, at Jason’s” You heard her breath catch in her throat. “You have to tell Eddie what’s been going on, Chrissy. And he’s going to hate you. But you can’t do that to him. You might not love him but you and I both know that he deserves better than this.”

“I know,” she conceded quietly. You laid your head on your pillow. Your alarm clock read 3:39am. You tossed and turned in your sleep all night, pictures of Eddie’s heartbroken face haunting your dreams. 

You awoke to Chrissy folding blankets and stacking pillows onto your dresser.

“Hey, morning. How are you feeling?” you croaked. 

“Well, I’m here and that’s a way better place than I thought I was going to be staying” Chrissy chuckled dryly. “Thank you again for last night, Y/N. I really owe you one.”

“Don’t mention it. I just hope that if the roles were reversed you would do the same for me.” The air between you seemed palpable, it reminded you of when Chrissy would be doing the very same thing after a weekend long sleepover. You both gave each other testing smiles and short giggles.

You dropped Chrissy off after stopping to get coffee for the two of you. Chrissy looked at you apologetically and unclasped her seatbelt. 

“Thanks for the ride” she offered

“Welcome. Good luck with Eddie” you mumbled. As badly as you felt for your old friend, you could not wait for her downfall. She didn’t deserve Eddie and he didn’t deserve to be hurt like this. But the light of old times seeping through the walls that you had rebuilt felt nice, even if it was artificial, fleeting. You flashed the girl a comforting smile.

“Thanks. I think I’m really going to need it. I really fucked up.” she looked down and began to pick at her nails.

“But this might be a learning lesson for you at least. I hate to say it but Karma can be a bitch sometimes.” you grab her wrist and squeeze. Your hands warm her veins and she relaxes into your touch. She pats you on the hand as she wriggles out of your car and trots to her door. She looks back at you before she closes the door behind you. She really stares into you as she raises a hand and waves. It was goodbye for good.

You got cut early from your shift at the video store.You were little to no help to the gorgeous head of hair working with you anyways. You tell Steve about your night, about Chrissy’s admissions and your call with Eddie. You were unsure of what your expectations were at this point. You call with Eddie shifted the dynamic of friendly strangers and you again found yourself battling between easy choices and choices that were good for you. Luckily for you, you were wasting time with Hawkin’s most eligible bachelor and love-life-advice solicitor.

“I don’t know, Y/N all I’m saying is there are so many guys in this town that would actually take you out and treat you right, you don’t deserve this shit” the boy quipped. You loved how honest Steve could be. He had quickly given you more examples of what a good friend looked like. “Like what about that Gareth kid?! Have you seen the way he looks at you? Worships the ground you walk on. Get a guy like that” Steve folds his hands on his hips. You scoff at him. 

“Gareth and I are just friends. Trust me, we’ve gotten into all of that relationship stuff a long time before.” Steve’s eyes grew to saucers. You giggled. “It was one kiss this summer and both of us knew it wasn’t gonna happen, okay?” You rolled your eyes as you slid a box of freshly rewound tapes to him.

“Alright, alright - poor guy. I’m just saying. Munson? He should be old news. He and Chrissy deserve each other…” 

“Maybe I should test drive a guy like you then, Harrington?” you sneered. He dropped the box, his back turned to you but you could tell his cheeks had flushed. “Or…Hargrove?”

“Hey!”

“Or-”

“Alright enough!” Steve chided. You suppressed your giggle. “You think you’re so funny, huh? I just worry about you, that’s all.”

“I know, Steve. Trust me, I wish I could move on. The two of them do deserve each other… But every time I think of them making up and going back to being good,  it makes me want to rip my hair outI can’t stand it.”

“Damn kid. You really are down bad” Steve jabbed you in the side of the arm and you shrieked. “If you really feel that way then I guess you gotta let him know.”

“What if they do get back together and I laid it all out for nothing? Or what if I’m old news to him, Steve? I cant handle that…”

“Dude, if he makes the same mistake as he did at prom he won’t just have Gareth to deal with, okay? He’ll have me, Buckley and half of the Family Video clientele coming after him.” Steve glanced at the clock and gestured to the door. “Now get out of there and fix your bullshit life” he winks. Your smile lightens your whole face. You grab your bag from behind the counter and scurry out the door after planting a kiss to Steve’s cheek. He was left to the fluorescent aisles, shaking his head. You really did deserve better.

You pulled into your driveway, ready to spend the afternoon in Gareth’s backyard smoking weed and watching as many horror movies that you could before inevitably passing out. As you sauntered up to your door, you realized your plans for the day had been eviscerated. Sitting on your front step was a cardboard box that had been taped together neatly. Sitting on top of the box laid a note scrawled with purple ink:

“Y/N, I didn’t know who else to trust with this, and I am so sorry to ask.

Please take this box and give it to Eddie if you see him. I can’t bear to give it to him myself and I can’t tell anyone else about what I did. 

Thank you for being such a good friend even when I didn’t deserve one.

Chrissy”

You let out a large sigh as you picked up the box and opened your door. You didn’t want to call Eddie, you were scared to find out how much he knew. Part of you wanted to leave the box on the doorstep for him to quietly pick up without notice, but you knew that your heart couldn’t handle knowing he was so close and you did nothing. So you picked up the receiver to your landline and dialed a familiar set of numbers.

“Hey champ! When you coming over?” A peppy boy answered. 

“Hey, Gar. Something came up and I don’t think I can come over.”

“What did he do, Y/N?” Gareth’s tone hardened immediately. You could feel his anger radiating through the telephone.

“Nothing, it's more like what Chrissy did…” You spent the next half an hour telling Gareth about your encounters yesterday. Gareth huffed bitterly in response. Eddie Jeff and Gareth hadn’t been the same since their gig at the Hideout. Eddie began dodging band practice to be with Chrissy. He sacrificed DND campaigns and hellfire meetings to hide under the bleachers to go to the mall with Chrissy, or go to dinner with the jocks. Eddie became the most popular recluse. The three musketeers became strangers and the practices they had now - if any - were full of tension and unfamiliarity. Jeff and Gareth resented Eddie for the way his world revolved around Chrissy, and Eddie resented the two for not being happy for him, for not supporting him in what he wanted. In the middle was you. Eddie longed to be close to you again, but Jeff and Gareth refused to let him too close, you wouldn’t be hurt again, at least not on their watches. Although hostility ran high, all of you craved so much to be a group again, to be able to forgive and forget. But as all of you had figured out, that was much easier said than done.

“I’m coming over. I don’t want you to be alone when he shows up.”

“Gareth, I will be fine. I need to talk to him anyway” Your voice got quiet

“Talk to him about what?”

“I-I just need to know what happened between him and Chrissy. I need to know what that means for me, Gareth. I’m sick and tired of wondering if it could happen.”

“Y/N that’s a bad idea. We should just be done with him”

“I know, Gareth. He doesn’t deserve us. But I’m tired of being strong and stubborn.  I just need to talk to him. I need to see him.” There was a silence over the phone. Gareth’ heart broke for you, but he knew that he couldn’t protect you from this.

“If anything happens, you give me a call and I will be over in 5 minutes.”

“Yes, sir.” You chuckle.

“Hey, now! I mean it”

“Gareth?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I love you, you know?” there was a loud sigh over the phone.

“Yeah I know. I love you too.”

“Everything’s going to be okay.”

“It has to be.” With a click, you were left to listen to the dial tone. You place your phone down and get yourself ready. You didn’t know when Eddie would be over, but you wanted to prepare before he did. 

You sat in the shower until the water ran cold. Your skin felt scrubbed free from any imperfection, but it felt tight with stress. You forced yourself to make food but could barely eat. The rest of your evening consisted of staring at the same open page in your book while reruns of Match Game bled through the living room. The sun had set, along with the hopes that you would get closure tonight. Later, you heard the rattle of an engine outside accompanied by the thrash of Ozzy Ozbourne. You shot off the couch and toed your way to the front door. On the other side, you could hear a cacophony of swears and pacing footsteps. A few moments later, three hesitant knocks on your door. You took a couple of breaths and turned the handle. You were greeted with a tousled mop of hair and fair skin. His jeans hung low on his hips and he wore a thinning band t-shirt. His pale arms gripped his shoulders, flashing patches of inky figures across his forearms. His face, usually soft and blushing, looked pale. Dark circles encapsulated his coffee coloured irises. His nose was red and his lip was quivering. As awful as he looked, he was so tragically beautiful, like a muse. His lips still puckered and dared you to dart out and kiss them. His frame towered over yours and threatened to encapsulate you whole. You wanted nothing more. You gripped the inside of your doorframe in grounding, afraid you were going to evaporate into the cooling evening.

“Eddie, Hi” You squeaked. The boy looked dully at you as you took in his appearance. “I-I saw Chrissy’s note… the box is just inside I’ll-” You turned to leave but Eddie’s sigh held you in place.

“Fuck the box, Y/N” Eddies voice was just above a whisper. It rattled as if he were scared that if he spoke too loudly, the whole world would collapse in on him. His eyes lined with tears again. “What happened last night?” He demanded.

“I found her at a party… she had called me and, well I couldn’t just leave her there so…I took her home with me and she told me she was a bad person…” your eyes were trained to the floor. “I took her home in the morning and then the box was waiting for me after work, so you might have to fill in the rest of the blanks for me.”

“She fucked me over. That’s what happened! She went out and she fucked half the basketball team while I fucking waited for her to come back into my fucking arms! I tried to give her everything but nothing was ever good enough!” Eddie seethed. “ ‘I need more attention, Eddie’ or, ‘come out to this party, Eddie’ ‘ I want to do this instead, Eddie.’ ‘Why aren't you more like Jason, Eddie?’ FUCK I should have fucking known better, but I’m the fucking freak, I don’t get what I want. I don’t deserve to be happy because this is partially my fault too…” Eddie fisted at his hair while he paced on your front step. 

“Eddie. I don’t know what to say-”

“You don’t need to say anything but I told you so. That’s what I fucking deserve. You shouldn’t be sitting here pitying me. You should be laughing at me” Eddie whimpered. You had never seen him so small, so fragile. You wanted to rub the tension out of his shoulders and kiss his furrowed brows until he looked like your Eddie again. 

“Yeah but I’m not because I care about you Eddie.” You reach out to touch him but he pulls away like you burned him. “I’m really fucking sorry that this happened. No matter what I think of you, you don’t deserve this.” Eddie stopped in his tracks and trained his eyes on your meek figure. You shuddered when you looked up and made eye contact with him. Your eyes were wet and his eyes were pools of sorrow, But his gaze held a foreign glimmer to them. You let Eddie study you in silence. 

“What can I do to make it better?” 

“I… I don’t know, Eddie. That might be a conversation to have with Chrissy and you-”

“I’m not talking about me and Chrissy.” Eddie held his gaze on you as he stepped closer to you. He smelt of weed, beer and cheap aftershave. 

“Eddie-”

Swiftly, the boy grabbed your cheeks and collapsed into you, smashing his lips with yours. As much as your brain screamed at you to push him off, your bones melted in with his, finally giving into the temptation that your body so desperately craved since your kiss in the theatre. Eddie’s weight moved you backwards into your house and he closed the door behind him. His hands migrated down your torso to your waist as he spun you to pin you back up against your front door. You moaned into his mouth as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip. Your hands found their way to Eddie’s chest and you gripped his shirt. He was shaking. It felt like there were only two of you. Kissing Eddie was the most natural thing to happen. Every move he made, your body had the perfect response. He gripped your hips as you slid your hands around his neck into his hair, earning a moan from the metalhead. A pit in your stomach formed at his lips vibrating against yours and you thought your legs would give out. Eddie pressed his body deeper into yours and you swore you could feel his heartbeat in your own chest. As much as you wanted this moment to last forever, you pulled yourself away from him, his eyes still closed and lips slightly parted, also very much in shock as to what had just happened. You gaze up at him as tears unwillingly spill down your cheeks. A mortified expression painted Eddie’s face, immediately thinking that he had overstepped again. He waited for a slap to the face or for you to push him away and begin yelling. But you looked up at him through your glassy eyes and his heart backflipped. His hands returned to your cheeks, thumbs desperately swiping at your tears. 

“Y/N, sweetheart, I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Eddie, we can’t lie to each other. You and I both know I’ve been waiting for you to do that for a long time” a sad smile crept across your face.

“Fuck. I’ve been doing this wrong the whole time. I’ve wanted you this whole time, Y/N. This whole time, not a day has gone by where I wish I could go back to prom night and make the right choice. I am so fucking sorry.”

“I accept your apology, Eddie. But I don’t forgive you” Eddie’s heart sank. The flush he had earned left his face. His hands dropped to your wrists and he gripped tightly, like he was afraid you were going to disappear in front of him. “Not now at least. You fucked me up, Eddie. I waited for you and I watched you break my heart, and I will not be anyone’s second best ever again. I won’t be your second place again.” Eddie shook his head in understanding.

“What can I do? Please tell me what I can do.”

“You can work on how to make good choices again, Ed. Be my friend first. Prove to me you deserve that. Because I am not okay with being a rebound either. Prove to me you want me and this isn’t just a way to get over Chrissy, because my heart can’t take it.” you sob into him and he wraps you into a hug.

“I promise you, sweetheart. It’s you. It’s always been you, and I will spend the rest of my days proving how much I need you.”

“Okay, Eddie. I believe you.” You pull away from him and step away from him. “But we can’t do that again.” You both were too afraid to say anything more, so you stood in silence, taking in each others’ space. Eddie then reached for the door.

“I, I should really go, I guess. I’m not sorry for kissing you, but I’m really sorry if it upset you.” You grab the hand that Eddie had on your front door. 

“Eddie, I know you aren’t exactly sober right now, or in the right state of mind to really be alone. So as your friend, I would really like it if you stayed here tonight, so I know that you’re okay.”

“As a friend?” 

You nodded firmly.

“I would really like that,” Eddie smiled softly at you.

“Let’s go put a movie on and try and get some sleep.” You grabbed Eddie’s hand and led him up to your bedroom. Eddie climbed onto your bed as you leaned over your TV and punched in The Shining. You joined Eddie on the bed, both of you under the farthest edges of the blanket, too scared to cross a thin boundary that had been set. 

“Y/N?”

“Yeah, Ed?”

“I was wondering If I- If It would be okay, could I maybe hold you?” Eddie murmured into his lap that he was staring at. “I just feel really cold. I don’t mean anything by it I promise. I just need… to feel something good.”

Wordlessly, you shuffled over to the middle of the bed. Eddie followed suit. You slid down so your head leaned on his chest, his arm draped down your back, his fingers drew circles  on your hip. Your arm wrapped around him as a silent reassurance that you were not going anywhere. The steady pounding of Eddie’s heart and the rise and fall of his chest quickly lulled you to sleep. Eddie spent next to no time watching Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall, too busy studying every detail of your body that he could see. As he heard your soft sighs signaling you had fallen asleep, he silently cried into your temple. 

Eddie Munson knew he was an idiot, that he fucked up. As much as his heart broke, he couldn’t help but be willing to break it over and over again if it meant that he got to call you his one day.

taglist: @mxcheese @anislabonis-love @zenathebeautiful @h-ness1944 @nymphetkoo @tlclick73 @darknesseddiem @nega-omega @them-cute-boys @eggo-segual @browneyes528 @ali-r3n @micheledawn1975 @partydulce @eddies-puppet @elvendria @itsjustwous @littlemisslovestoread @kjcmama @chloe-6123 @navs-bhat @loveforreading @thegirlthatsfalling @metalhead-succubus @moth-maam56 @ohmeg @secretdryrose @cloudroomblog @harmfulb1tch @buckybarnessweetheart @littlelunarfox @duncanhillscoffeecups @deathnote6666 @fangirling-galore @eddiesguitarskills @alexa4040 @arsonfrogger@sleepydragonx @batkin028 @eddiemunsonsgf22 @stairwaytozai@littlestarfighter03 @kimmi-kat@bleachbetch@sashaphantomhive@maybeitsthemoon @sluggzillaa @siriuslysmoking @littleesilvia @munsonssecretblog@dreamerjj @goth-cowgirl-03@middle-of-the-earth @idkatee@animechick555@hargrovesswifee@fall-myriad@foreveranexpatsposts

[anonymous-archive]

lmao @ this reblog “calling me out” and then blocking me despite apparently beforehand nearly deciding not to quietly block & report me instead of that giant wall of useless text like… i honestly didn’t know how to react/respond initially other than “holy shit dude that’s crazy” and then laugh incredulously but here we go since i’m petty:

first, this is a burner blog i made a week ago maximum and it only has 5 posts (excluding this one) so i’m not sure what you think you’re accomplishing here since i could & would just make another one and repost it all again? i’m under the impression that what would actually happen is the original posts themselves as well as any reblogs get taken down rather than the overall blogs themselves, but if i’m wrong then see above lol.

second, my bad for trying to genuinely, helpfully inform you that unfortunately many others out there don’t have the capacity to realize that you are not an anti and/or won’t read the entire post before assuming. this in turn might hurt your own community since stolitz stans may want to protect themselves from even potentially reading something they consider hurtful and therefore not wasting time by risking it. in fact you just proved my point by reacting and attempting to keep yourself safe from, what, leaks that were hidden behind an active choice to click? i as an individual don’t care that you like that ship so i wasn’t here to harass you or whatever. i didn’t think anything of you for it, that’s not why i spoke up.

third, clearly some people don’t understand “don’t like, don’t engage/read/watch/etc.” especially if you already know the content will upset you! also this large & loud fandom has never learned to keep controversial things on the down-low and ignore it in order to avoid gaining too much attention and inadvertently advertising it to people who otherwise wouldn’t know, but what else can i expect when y’all worship your annoying lord and savior ayylmao? so congrats on opening up the chance for someone to stumble upon your unnecessarily massive post and wanting to take a peek! you can’t control your followers/lurkers so that would be hilarious!

by the way, if you somehow do end up finding what my other hellaverse-critical blog is then… okay that’s fine. it’s not very big and it’d be disappointing if attacked but not a big deal. like i said, it’s easy to move & remake. hate to tell the truth but you do not have the power you wish you had here.

[temporaryrose200]

Hello sweetie! How are you? Firstly, let me tell you that your blog aesthetic is simply ✨awesome✨

I'd like to request headcannons/oneshot (whatever you prefer) with William J. Moriarty, having a relaxing bath with his fem! s/o.

Thank you very much, have a good day

(´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`)

✩Lavender✩

✟pairing: William James Moriarty x Fem Reader

✟genre: Fluff

✟warning: No use of Y/N, Not proof read

✟One-Short

✟fandom: Moriarty The Patriot

✟a/n:Hello I’m doing really good and thank you! I really love Renaissance paintings and just aesthetically pleasing blogs:) Anyway sorry, this took sooooo long. I’ve just had no will to write things much for the past few months. This request tho was really fun to write after months of writer’s block. Hope you enjoy<3

Hearing the door creek open, William looked up from his paperwork, watching as he saw your head peek out from behind the wooden door. Upon entering William’s office, you strolled over to where your husband sat. “And what can I do for my lovely wife?” your husband questioned with one of his charming smiles that would make any woman swoon over him.

William had been very busy these past few weeks, from going to social events, working at the university, and his other job…So after growing tired of waiting for your husband to finally be available, you took matters into your own hands.

Placing both your hands upon William’s shoulders you began slowly massaging. Feeling how tense the man in front of you was, a pout makes its way on your face. “My dear, you’re so tense” you gasped, placing a hand over your ‘frown’. “Why don’t you take a break?”

Gazing down at the unfinished paperwork, William thought for a moment. It couldn’t be so bad taking a small break and anyway, how could he say no to his darling Wife? Not when you’re staring at him with your doe eyes. “I suppose I could take a small break,” William muttered but it was loud enough for you to hear it. Joy overtook your body and you couldn’t help but let out a squeal of excitement.

Wrapping an arm around your husband’s neck, you couldn’t help but pepper kisses on his cheek. William sat there with a pleasant smile, marvelling at the affection. Moving towards the blonde man’s ear, he could feel the outline of a smirk against his skin. “How about we have a bath” you suggested.

With a raised eyebrow William turned to you, a viable smile making its way on his lips. “We?” Your husband repeated, seeing if he heard what you said was right. Once William saw you nod to his question he stood up from his comfy leather chair. “Well then” William started, clapping his hands together, your husband giving you one of his closed eye smiles. “Lead the way my dear.” You didn’t need to be told twice, grabbing William’s arm, you lead the man down the corridors of the manor towards the bathroom, that you had set up only 5 minutes ago.

Opening the door, William was met with the relaxing scent of lavender. Feeling the stress of the day being washed away and replaced with tranquility. Scented candles flickered in the corners of the room and scarlet rose floated in the warm watered tub. Guiding William into the bathroom, shutting the door while doing so, you strolled over to a bucket. Hearing the sound of rattling of ice, William knew exactly what was going to be inside the mystery bucket. Spinning around to face your husband, you held two empty wine glasses and the bucket with an wine bottle sticking out. Picking up the bottle, William began observing it. “45 year old red wine, good choice my dear” he smiled, handing you back the wine.

It was finally time to get undressed and unwind in the sweet scented bath.

[twopoppies]

https://www.tumblr.com/twopoppies/771782232516050944/gina-i-want-to-tell-you-i-have-been-reading-your?source=share

To this person and anyone feeling the same way, I’d strongly recommend taking a step back from the fandom altogether (especially Twitter and TikTok). If stepping back completely feels too hard, maybe stick to Tumblr for a few weeks and try to avoid blogs that focus on drama. There are plenty of blogs that simply reblog photos and fics without engaging in negativity (shoutout to those people, you’re the best!).

Take some time to reflect. Grab a pen and paper, and imagine the worst-case scenario: Louis not having a career, not selling enough tickets, bg blowing up in his face, the fandom completely divided, etc. Write down how these scenarios would personally affect you: emotionally, mentally and physically. Would it actually change your day-to-day life? How would your life be different a few weeks, months, or years from now? What would you feel immediately after that and then six months after? This is actually what I did in therapy about real life things that were worrying me.

We’ve just lost Liam, and it’s one of the worst things that could happen. Yet, here we are, still moving forward with our lives, carrying a bit of sadness with us.

The fandom, what happens in it, and the content you consume are things you can curate to prioritize your mental health. I know people who block unpleasant tags (like stunts or bg) and live happily in their own bubble. Every day they make the choice to put themselves first over the fandom drama.

Even Harry has made the decision to prioritize his mental health by stepping back from social media and I respect him so much for that.

Personally, I learn about the drama from your blog, Gina. If you suddenly stopped posting about it tomorrow, I’d probably think nothing was happening lol

Please, take care of yourselves, everyone. You come first ❤️

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’ve never thought of myself as drama blog, but I guess I talk about whatever’s going on.

Anyway. It’s all very good advice. Thank you, love.

[airbendertendou]

ok! ♥︎ suzuki ryo 

synopsis ; amagi kohei is good at using people. ryo thinks you deserve more — and you think the same of him

cw : amagi himself , bullying , manipulation , inspired by the song ok by nct u but i finally watched the movie and this is the consequence 

if you have a blank blog [no bio, no user, no header or profile pic, nothing reblogged, etc] do not interact with my content. you will be blocked.

——♥︎——

sweat dripped down your forehead as you scrubbed a coffee ring from the table. the air in your workplace had been out for three days now — you were tired of asking when it would be fixed. the bell on the front door rang, echoing around the empty cafe. 

breathlessly, you lift your head and attempt a polite smile. “welcome to—!”

“just sit wherever. it’s fine,” white hair greets you first. your hold on the rag tightens as your smile drops. random senomon students enter the store, snorting as they catch sight of your haggard appearance. kohei eyes you with a condenscending grin, “you’ll let us order whatever we want, hm, doll?”

through clenched teeth, you manage a “sure.” before walking to the counter to grab your notepad. as your back is turned to the crowd, you close your eyes and let out a sigh, heaving in a few deep breaths to calm yourself. 

a figure is stood behind you as you turn around. ryo catches your elbow, his left arm wrapping around your waist as you jump, unsteady on your feet at his sudden appearance. “sorry,” he mutters. “didn’t mean to scare you.”

“is there something you need, suzuki?”

“ryo. told you last time to just call me ryo.” there’s part of a smile on his lips as he looks at you, only his fingertips touching you now. you nod, gaze settled on the floor as kohei laughs loudly — the sound makes you tense. ryo is in your line of sight once more, fighting for your attention. “i’ll help you carry everything out.”

biting your lip, you glance at the kind boy before you catch sight of kohei’s snarl. he’s glaring your way, eyes lingering on the way ryo looks ready to grab you if you trip again. “that’s okay. you don’t have to.”

ryo blinks. if there’s one thing being friends with amagi kohei taught him, it was how to get what he wanted. ryo tilts his head so that his eyes meet your lowered ones, “i wasn’t asking.”

left without a choice, you take the group’s various orders and head to the back to help your co-worker sort them out. the cafe you worked in was small — homey and comfortable — not one you’d normally see a larger crowd at. 

kohei knew you liked him, though. your small crush on him became known somehow and he made it his mission to bug you about it. things were funny at first — backhanded compliments ; light teasing ; comments about the different worlds you came from. somehow things escalated. no matter what shift you took, or days you worked, the white haired boy would always show up.

with kohei came taunts of the money you made — money he gave you — and a curled lip as he spat put exactly what he thought of the crush you had on him. of course, those feelings left long ago, but kohei was adamant on making sure you knew your place. as you sat his requested drink on the table in front of him, amagi gripped your wrist harshly. “my drink’s too hot. blow on it for me.”

a giggle or two came from the group he’d brought with him, a grin perking up his face at the sound of them, embarrassing you further. slowly, you leaned forward to blow gently on his steaming drink — kohei held the back of your head down until he felt you deserved to move. 

ryo watched as you fluttered around other people, eyes stamped to the ground as shame dripped over you. he sat beside kohei, loudly sighing and glaring at his friend. the white-haired boy glared back wordlessly as ryo stared. “you could be nicer.”

“i’ll leave a nice, hefty tip. that good enough?” amagi snapped back immediately. he leaned in closer, whispering so only suzuki could hear. “you’re my friend ; your father works for me. don’t forget that.”

without taking even a sip of his drink, kohei stood. he dismissed himself with a loud slam of the door, a trail of red uniforms following behind him. you bowed wordlessly, not raising your head until the shop grew silent.

you begin to gather plates and cups, mourning the waste the group left behind. ryo follows behind you silently, gathering his own share of mugs and plates. as you place them in the sink, you freeze, feeling him hover over your shoulder. “you can leave. i can do this myself.”

“that crush you had on amagi...” you stiffen at ryo’s words. his hands are on your shoulder, fingers floating down to your wrists until you’re turned, facing him now. ryo tilts his head, “it’s gone now?”

“long gone.” there’s no need for you to tell him that ; no point in letting him know the truth. but, it feels good ; telling someone the senomon leader no longer lingered in your mind. “for a while now. i respect myself more than that.”

suzuki grins at your words, his right hand raising to your hip as his left one twines itself with your fingers. “you do. deserve better, too.”

“and you think you don’t?” ryo’s smile drops. you sigh, shaking your head and looking away from him. “he’s not much of a friend, in my opinion.”

slowly, ryo steps closer to you until his breath is invading your own, mixing and mingling as his gae softens at the sight of you. “tell me what i deserve, then.”

you lick your lips, failing to step back as the counter digs into your spine. “that’s up for you to decide, suz— ryo.”

he lets out a winded, dreamy sigh at the sound of his first name escaping your lips. his right hand pinches the skin of your waist, causing you to jump — ryo grins at how startled you look. “and if i decide i deserve you?”

——♥︎—— so so many thoughts on him and the suzuran boys oof <3 they said oh h&l fans want more pretty boys? here you are! idk how much i like this ending but i cant think of anything else rn lmao h&l loves : @straysugzhpe​ , @star2fishmeg​ , @rouzuchan​ , @high-lowincorrect​ , @yuken-gf​ <<33

airbendertendou © do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate my content on any platform. if you see my content under any other name than my own, let me know. i only have this tumblr and an ao3 account under the same name.

[madwomansapologist]

Scoring Points (In their hearts)

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synopsis: Led by your brother, your crew decided to play the King of Clubs game. Arisu might be certain that the best he can do is understand this land, but you are determined to make sure he will survive. Whatever it takes.

warnings: Niragi is his own warning, but the things I gonna make him suffer also deserves some warnings. Hands will be lost. Nudity. Its a aib oneshot, we gonna talk about death and blood and violence and all those bad things. One person will die, only one, try to guess who. Power of friendship. Karube and Chota will be mentioned. Eldest sister worried about younger brother. Younger brother worried about eldest sister. Canon divergent. I love Goken, and I like to represent him as a excited puppy. Happy ending, I promisse. This was supossed to be about Kyuma, but I love the whole team so...

It was a silent trip. Half of you wanted to say something, but the other wouldn’t endure to listen to someone pretending to have a response. So you kept your mouth shut. It was enough to deal with your conscience already.

You thought that nothing would ever be harder than the Ten of Hearts, but the only reason for you to be alive now is luck. None of you knew what to expect now. That game simply started. No names, no rules, no cell phones. If it wasn’t for Ann having a car, or for Kuina to find a safe building y’all could hide in, you would have been shot by the King of Spades. Not even Arisu can save you from a bullet.

Arise led your crew to a new game arguing that it was the only way to finally discover what was happening on this hell land. You told him that you think this is some kind of country, but he said that Hatter ideas clung into your mind. Usagi didn’t believe that knowing what's happening would make that big of a difference, but the majority won. 

After all, no one really had a choice. This sick world is ruled by a simple statement: or you play, or you die.

“This is…” Tatta stumbled over the words. “Giant.”

It was the biggest arena you saw since you started playing. It was a harbor filled with shipping containers stacked on top of each other until they were tall enough to block the view of what was inside of it. You could smell the salty aroma, but you couldn’t see the ocean.

“It says we need six players” Kuina read the board on the table with electronic bracelets.

Usagi was quick to add: “But there’s only five.”

And with just a second to imagine what was happening, all questions were answered by two coarse words. “Six, actually.”

And suddenly all the fear of the future turned into anger. 

The world really isn’t fair. If it was, Karube and Chota would be with you both, laughing and drinking and gossiping about anything that moves. It it was, anyone who ever thought about touching a woman without her permission would be fucking dead. If the world was fair, Niragi wouldn’t be standing there.

Just like Kuina, your first action was to go to another place. Just get back in the car and let him rot. That was your brain talking, because your true will was to punch him until he couldn’t even open his eyes. Punish him for what he did to Usagi. For what he did to your brother. For what he did to you.

When you three were used by Chishiya, Niragi made sure that y’all would suffer. He beat your brother, and almost… He said he would have his way with Usagi and take you next. You think it's kind of ironic that what saved you both were the warning of a new game.

But when Usagi took the bracelet, you knew that you had no choice but to play with him. She saved you and your brother after the death of your friends, you could never abandon her.

“Don’t look at me like that”, Niragi said as he got closer to you. “I know you missed me.”

You took a step forward. Tatta held your hand. You broke free from him and kept walking until you were facing Nigari. You could smell the rotten flesh. Good. Now he is as rotten on the outside as he is on the inside.

“If you don’t play right, if you don’t help us win”, you smirk. “I kill you myself.”

Niragi licked his upper lip. “You're not the first to say that.”

“But I will be the last.”

With your bracelet on, the gates opened. “Registration is now closed. The game will now commence.”

Walking inside, you realized how big that arena was. It took a full minute to walk past the corridor. And now, able to look inside it, you knew it was some kind of a labyrinth. A giant labyrinth, made with shipping containers. 

“What is this place?” Tatta asked.

“The King of Club’s team is now entering the field”, said the announcer, almost like she heard Tatta. And the voice was replaced with rock.

Each from a different side of the labyrinth, four people paraded to the center. And, well, they were cool as fuck. And because of that, you knew it would be harder than you can imagine. Every single calm and centered person that you meet on this land showed you what hell looks like.

“Welcome to our game field”, looking at those four people, you didn’t see the man talking. Until you did. “I am the King of Clubs, Kyuma.”

And he was fucking naked.

Looking at a dead body was less embarrassing than that. You and Kuina looked at one another, trying to make sure that you both didn’t go crazy and started imagining naked people. But if you were to go crazy, it would have happened sooner.

“Okay, let me introduce everyone”, said the naked man. “First we have Shitara.” A hairy man raised his arm.

“Uta.” And she was the coolest woman you have ever seen. In your old life, someone like her would make you blush.

“Maki.”’ He was just a normal average man. Meh.

“Goken.” And he was, for sure, the crazy one. A naked man was right in front of you, but that guy… you could sense the craziness.

“Pleasure.” Silence. “That's all the reaction I get?”

“I think you are weirding them out.” Uta seemed annoyed.

Shitara rested his hands on his thin waist. You were sure it wasn’t the first time they had this conversation. “Put some damn pants on.”

“What? Not a chance! Nudism is an upstanding practice. A social movement with hundreds of years of history! Clothing is a social construct. No biological necessity. Humans should be bare and raw. After all, it's only natural.”

He wasn’t shy. And, well, he didn’t have a reason to be. His body… Don’t get distracted. Don’t look down. Don’t look down.

“Listen, we don’t care about that” Arisu started, annoyance clear in his voice. You hold his hand, trying to stop him from pissing someone off. “Just tell us who you are.”

“Who are we?” The naked men glared at your brother. “We are the citizens of this country.”

You couldn’t help yourself from laughing. You tried to cover your face, but it didn’t make a difference.

“What's so funny?” Goken asked.

“Nothing.” You responded to him, running your fingers through your hair. Looking at Arisu, your smile went bigger. “I told you so.”

Goken and Uta made eye contact. She nodded with her head, and Goken got excited by that. They agreed: you have potential. Maybe your team can finally give them what they are looking for.

Looking at you, not that you have noticed that, Kyuma explained that his team created that game. Shitara was the brain of the project. Six against five. It still looked like your team was at a disadvantage. There were a lot of rules, but they weren't that complicated.

The game lasts two hours;

Both teams try to collect points;

The team with the highest total at the end of the games wins;

Each team begins with 10,000 points;

Players divide these points among themselves before the game begin;

The minimum amount is 100 points;

You can score points by battle, items and base;

You can pair up with a teammate;

Wristbands can give you an electric shock;

Point below zero: game over;

A tie is a win for the King of Club's team.

“So… it's a huge gamble.” You said to yourself. You started to stretch in the way Usagi taught you. How you wish it was a game where you could sit all the time. You are the best in Diamonds, your weakness is those games that demands a lot of physicality. “In a huge arena.”

“You now know all the rules”, Kyuma said. You used all your energy to look at his eyes. “Let the game begin.”

Arisu asked about coming back to the real world, but Kyuma clearly disagreed with the definition of real. “We want the truth”, you said. “Real or not, the truth.”

“You want the truth?” Kyuma repeated. “Face me with everything you have.”

“All right, then.” You caressed Arisu’s shoulder and gave Kyuma your brightest smile. “We’ll play your game.”

“What are you doing?” Arisu whispered when the other team was gone. “Why are you so confident?”

“All will be determined by how we chose to distribute our points.” You whispered back. Nigari was the last person you wanted to hear your strategies. “This is a math game. Play it right, be fast, and we can win. We faced harder games, didn’t we?”

“We didn’t. We literally didn’t. That's the whole point.”

A discussion about how your team should split the points started. Split in equal ways is fucking dumb, no one with working brains would do that, but how else should it be done? Of course Arisu knew what to do.

The faster runners get fewer points. Usagi and Kuina have 300 each. Slower runners get more. Arisu, Niragi and you have 3100 each. And the guard gets the least points possible. Tatta has only 100, but he can touch the base anytime he wants to get infinite points.

“You like me that much, uh?” Nigari asked to Usagi. Running in the labyrinth, you imagined how amazing your life would be if Nigari was mute. “You chose to pair up with me.”

“It's because I won’t care if you die in front of me.”

Laughing, he looked at you. “And you?”

“It’s because of her."

And almost without noticing, you three faced Maki. Together, you three have 6500. No way he can have more than that. With Niragi between you two, Maki did what anyone would do: he ran. 

Kuina and Arisu were trying to find items. 

“Okay, what's happening between you and Usagi? Or between you and your sister? Why did you let them pair with Nigari?”

“Nothing.” Arisu answered, but he wasn’t convincing. “Strategy. Usagi asked to pair her with him, and my sister… Well, she didn’t ask anything, she just did it. I don’t know. I think she is trying to protect Usagi.”

“Or to kill Niragi.” Kuina completed.

“She never killed anyone.” Arisu opened a shipping container. “She was always the kinder of us. My older brother is the brain, I am the useless, and she is the heart. She would never kill anyone.”

“A item!” Kuina screamed. “We did it”

With another 2000 points, they closed the shipping container. And Kyuma was there to congrat them. “I couldn’t help but overhear. Sounds like there is an issue. You are fighting with two of your teammates.”

As Kyuma stepped forward, Arisu and Kuina stepped back. “I learned something about being a leader. You can’t push people into following you for no reason. You have to be ready to listen to them. Wait for them to come to you.” Arisu couldn’t understand why Kyuma was advising him. “Now, let's go. Let’s not end our lives with regret.”

So they battle. And Kyuma lost.

Of course you couldn’t just find an item. Trying to put up with Niragi, even a second lasted more than a year. But when Usagi saw Goken, a guy that totally looked like someone that should be in a band and probably would be the first to be kick-out because of drug abuse, every second started to matter.

Usagi attracted him, running towards the corner where you and Niragi were hidden. You almost touched him, but he was really fast. Here's the first thing you learned about Usagi: no one is faster than her.

“I was expecting more from you”, you said after receiving his points.

Goken got closer to you. You could even sense his breath. He looked at you from head to toe, a smirk appeared on his face. “You are definitely reaching my expectations.”

"What do you mean by that?" You took a step forward. You didn't touch him, a eletric shock is not on your wishlist, but got your face close enough.

“You two gonna flirt?” Usagi stared at you, hands on her waist. “Now? Really?”

The screen announced more points to your team. Kuina just touched Maki on the other side of the arena. You glared at Goken. “We don’t have time for that.”

Goken was already running. "Maybe later!"

Gathered at the base, your team had a lot of motives to celebrate. But the other team… Well, you know what they say about people that lose everything: now they have nothing to lose.

“What do you think about them?” Uta asked. After all, she was the one that didn’t have a chance to interact with the players.

“They have potential”, said Maki. “Most of them.”

“I will keep my eyes on Arisu’s sister”, Goken couldn’t stop moving. “Gonna do it for the gang, obviously.”

“Oh, shut up already!” Shitara rolled his eyes. “We have to go now.”

Tatta was alone when they came. And he touched the base when he had to make a decision. And when he felt his hand against someone's chest, Tatta wished he would wake up from a nightmare. He would be on his bed, alone, safe and sound.

But he wasn't.

“You picked me?” Shitara stepped back. “You better use this to win. If I die in vain, I’m… I’m gonna beat the shit out of you in the afterlife, man.”

Tatta was staring at the man, looking in the eyes of the man he just killed, unable to move. He killed him. Tatta killed him. Tatta killed someone.

“You were my good friend." Kyuma always sound so happy, but now... "I’ll never forget what you did for us.”

Shitara roamed to one of the exits of the labyrinth. He was confused, barely capable of walking. "Let me at least die with some privacy." After he turned into a corner, hidden from everyones gaze, Tatta saw a laser.

Any sign of faith, any hope, dissapeared now. Dead. The crew was fucking dead. By the end of the game, if they don't find a way to save themselfs, they would be dead. 30,000 points. Thats not something easy to beat.

"Couldn't even guard one pole, right?" Nigari spat. He slapped Tatta's head. "Fucking useless. Trash is always gonna be trash. You piece of shit."

"Lay off of him!" Usagi demanded. "He did the best he could."

"We underestimated them." Arisu said. Tatta noticed how he didn't defended him. But he didn't deserve to be defended. He is the reason why his team will die. "They are prepared to die."

"So what do we do now?" Kuina were sitting beside Tatta. He didn't say a word for quite some time, she was starting to get worried about him. "We just have one hour."

"I think that", you interfered. "We should attack their base."

"They gonna be defending it."

"Nigari is right." Arisu made his choice. "Lets split up again. Items are key"

"I really think we should..." But no one listened to you. They were already running. If four people attack their base they won't be able to defend themselfs, but clearly Arisu didn't think that. You don't blame the others. Arisu usually is the one that knows how to win. You looked at Tatta. He was so quiet, it was like he wasn't even there. "It's not your fault."

"It is." He finally said something. "I am the one to blame."

You knelt down in front of him. Holding his hands in yours, stroking the scars he gained as a mechanic, you smiled. "Is it a Diamonds game?"

"What?"

"Or a Hearts game? Spades? You ain't gonna tell me they added one cart suit when I was distracted? God, I hope they didn't. I don't have time for that."

"What are you even talking about?" Tatta couldn't help but laugh. "You sound crazy."

"This is a Clubs game, right?" Tatta agreed. "So you can't be the one to blame. This is a team game. We should work together, win together, lose together. The last time I checked you didn't have five arms so you could kill anyone that comes near while touching the base. You did your best. We, as a team, failed to understand how far they can go. Now we have to fight back. Will you fight with me?"

Tatta tried to stop it, but a tear fell. He closed his eyes, nodding in agreement, and was surprised to feel you thumb brush his cheek. "Then lets fight with our lives. I will go now, but I will come back."

Shitara felt a shiver go up his spine. On top of one of the containers, hidden and forbidden to interfere in the game, he watched your team discuss and decide on a strategy. He also saw how they treated the boy who 'killed' him. He almost felt sorry. And he saw when you knelt next to Tatta, your confused words soon turned into something that completely changed how the boy behaved. You saw him, you realized he wasn't well, and you decided to help him.

He was starting to see what Goken saw on you. Maybe, just maybe, this is their last game. Shitara hope he is right.

But your pretty words couldn't change reality: your team was losing. Kuina lose to Maki. Arisu lose to Kyuma. Someone from your team found a item, and you found one after a few minutes, but it wasn't enough.

Running in the labyrinth, already lost, a scream got your ears. You stopped, but then you realized. You heard that before. "Usagi."

You ran in the direction of the sound, only to find Niragi on top of Usagi.

All you could see was black. It was like when you wake you from a dream you can't really remember. From a deep nightmare that eat you whole. When the colors finally came back, it was all red.

"Stop!" Usagi kept screaming. But she wasn't mad. You know her for a long time. She is worried. She is scared. She is hurt. But she isn't mad. "He is done! He is done."

You were on top of Niragi. He wasn't awake. Your hands... You started crying when you saw all that blood. Niragi was already done after the fire, but now you can't even see his face. His chest was moving, but he wasn't awake. Nigari finally shut his fucking mouth.

You look at her. Her head was bleeding. "Are you..." Your tears fought with your words, and they win. Usagi hugged you, and you could feel your body melting against her warm skin. "Are you okay?"

Usagi used all of her forces to give you a smile. Carressing your hands, getting blood into hers, she keep on nodding with her head. Her body was so warm you could fell sleep on her. "I am fine. I am safe."

Looking at you hands, glaring at the blood, something change. Usagi know that face. She saw it on your brother once a day. Its the face of someone hopeless finding a reason to fight. You had an idea.

Fifteen minutes later, you finally found someone. Watching the ocean, Kyuma didn't bother to look at you. "You'll lose." He warned you.

You nodded with your heard. "I know."

"Then go."

"That's the first game I know I won't win." Looking at the ocean, you realized why the game was happening there. It was beautiful. What a landscape. In another situation that place would be a paradise on Earth. "Even the King of Spades wasn't so difficult."

"Thank you. It took us a lot of effort."

"I didn't knew you were a liar."

Kyuma finally looked at you. "What did you call me?"

"A liar." You took a step forward, Kyuma didn't move. "You told us to fight with everything we have. You told us to not have regrets. Here am I, fighting with everything I have, and you refuse to take me seriously. Liar."

Within a seconds, Kyuma hold your hand into his. "As you wish."

But he lose. And the look on his face... you would never be able to make enough money to pay for it.

"How can you..." Kyuma couldn't look away from his hand. "Did you cheat? How did you...?"

You took your left hand out of your pocket, and between your fingers was the bracelet that once belong to Nigari. And it was covered in blood.

"Are you..." Kyuma couldn't look away from the bracelet. "You are insane."

Still holding his hand, you pulled him closer. "You said that we should use everything we got. Thank you, Kyuma. You offered me suck a pleasurable game. None could compare." You were serious, but needed to laugh. "I got this whole 'clothes are a social construction', but you don't know how pockets work?"

Before he could say anything, you ran away. You only have more 30 minutes. You loved the look on his face, but you needed to find your crew.

"You did what?" Arisu yelled. He was holding you on his arms, trying to clean the blood on your wrist with his shirt.

"You heard her", Usagi replied. "She won a battle. And we both found a item. We can win."

"We just need to touch their base", you said, hopping this time he would hear you. "If three people touch it, we won. Thats all we need."

"Lets do it." Kuina was ready to run.

"No."

"Arisu, we need to..."

"I won't sacrifice anyone here. We won't just run into their base and let someone die. Everyone will survive."

"Then do something!" You yelled at him. "If we do nothing all of us will die! We can't just sit down and shut up!"

"I don't know!", Arisu felt like his head was about to explode. When he touched the base, he realized something. "Someone didn't touch the pole?"

"I didn't", you moved to touch it, but he hold your hand. "Did I broke a rule?"

"I know what we have to do! But... I don't know if it will work. We just need a distraction. Something that would be impossible to look away. They are four but if it work..."

"Stop whispering to yourself!", Tatta yelled. You never saw him screaming to anyone. "We have 15 minutes left. Just explain your plan!"

When Arisu explained, everything was clear as day to you. "Am I the only one who didn't touch the base?"

"You were so excited to talk about your battle with Kyuma that you forgot", Usagi told you. "That means you gonna be the distraction, right?"

"Exactly." Arisu wasn't sure if it would work, but he wouldn't die with regrets. "You think you can do that?"

"I think I know exactly what I have to do."

At the other teams base, they couldn't stop talking about how you broke someones arm to took the bracelet out of it.

"Thats weird for her." Uta was standing against the pole. "She never harmed someone on her other games."

"I said that before but no one believed me", Goken said while running around. "She have so much rage inside her. She just needed a reason to explode."

Maki agreed with him. "But I bet Niragi is alive still."

"I think he is dead."

"No way! He is bleeding somewhere."

"Its a bet."

"Why are you so quiet?" Goken poked Kyuma. "Are you scared?"

Kyuma seen almost lost. "She surprised me."

"Thank you for that." Your voice gave away your location. Leaning against one of the containers, all eyes turned to you. "To be honest, I was surprised too."

And you were naked.

"Fuck", Goken shouted.

"Fuck indeed", Uta pinched herself to see if she was imagining something.

Maki looked to the sky. Suddenly it was so interesting.

"I want to battle again but I knew that no one would believe that I wasn't using his bracelet."

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry." Kyuma was looking at your eyes. Well, he was trying to look at your eyes only. "I'm sorry."

"You will battle me or not?"

When Kyuma did nothing, you got closer to him. Blinking your eyes, with a little smile on your face, you watched his eyes fighting to look at the sky. "You such a nice person", you purred. "You don't need to be sorry because you look at me. Clothes are just a social construction, aren't they?"

"I'm not sorry!" Goken shouted. You guess that's the only way he knows to comunicate with others.

"I've noticed", you smiled to him, but your focous was Kyuma. "Don't be so shy. Look at me." When Kyuma did obey, looking deeply into your eyes, you carressed his chest. And the eletric shock made you fall to the ground.

Then they ran. The surprise made the other team slow, they weren't ready to fight back. Dodging them, running towards the base, the three were like lightning. Trembling on the ground, you watched as Arisu touched the base. Then Usagi. But when Kuina was about to touch it, Maki kicked her away

"Really?" Somehow Kyuma was able to shout.

Squirming, you tried hard to answer. "You should know it was a trap."

"Oh my god", Goken laughed. "That was a booby trap!"

"It's a tie", Kuina cried on the floor. "Usagi, run to our base and come back here!"

"You can try" Uta said. She pointed at the big screen. "But can you run to your base and come back here in 3 minutes?"

"Really?" Kyuma shouted again. How could he be so fine? He wasn't even shivering.

"Oh, get over it! It's not my fault you saw a pair of boobs and got distracted." With a lot of effort, you sat down. Arisu run to you, one hand covering his eyes, and took you his shirt. Buttoning it, you stared at him. "I'm going to die and you are mad because I tried to win?"

"Are you covered?" Arisu asked.

"It don't matter", you answered him. "We are going to die. In 3 minutes we are done. I just killed Niragi and what did it change for us? Nothing. Worse: it made us believe we could win. This is it. I gonna die. We gonna die."

"We..." Kuina couldn't move. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't... I should have fought better. I didn't mean to... I'm so sorry."

"I know. We know", Usagi kneeled beside her. "It's not your fault. You tried."

"And now you are going to die!" Holding Arisu in your arms, you were the one crying. "I did everything to protect you and it wasn't enough."

Insteat of crying, Arisu hugged you back. Carressing your head, he was at peace. Arisu knows he did everything he could. That he tried to win with his whole being. And if this is how he is going to die, hugging his sister with the knowlegde that they would die without pain, than so be it.

"You protected me." Arisu whispered. "Since I was a kid. You did everything you could and it was enough. I had a good life. Not a perfect one, but a good one. If I could chose to live this very same life again and again, I would do it."

"We gonna have to deal with them for how long?" Maki asked. "This is embarrassing."

"What about being kind once in your life?" Uta closed her eyes. "Let them cry. One more minute and the game is over."

"Don't be so cruel", Usagi said to her.

"Why aren't you crying?" Kyuma got closer to her.

"I guess I'm just tired" Usagi hold Kuina closer. Whispering to her friend, Usagi felt something hard on her heart. "Tatta will die alone. He must be so scared."

"It's Game Clear to the King of Club's team." The female voice said when the two hours finally ended. "It's Game Over to the players team."

They waited for their death. Your eyes, before wide open, now were closed. Arisu hold you closer to him. Kuina and Usagi shivered against one another. And on the the other side of the labyrinth, Tatta were crying alone. But it never came.

"Do we agree?" Kyuma looked at his team. His hand was up in the air. "In three, two, one..."

All of them raised their hands on the air, and said at the same time: "I vote for the player team."

You opened your eyes. "We died?"

"I don't know", Arisu whispered.

"Congratulations!" Kyuma was so excited that everyone looked at him. And by doing that, everyone saw that Shitara was standing on a corner of the labyrinth. Alive. "Your team was chosen."

"For what?" Usagi feel like throwing up.

"To be trained by us." Kyuma was looking at you. "Welcome home, new citizens."

GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink

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[lavendertales]

Sweet lies: Chapter 8**

pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

summary: when Frankie’s suspicions get confirmed over drinks with the group, his feelings get the best out of him yet again in what culminates into another shameful night.

word count: 5.3k

WARNINGS: jealous & feral Frankie, mentions of alcohol, cunnilingus from behind, orgasm denial, doggy (safe).

AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS & MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!

Comments & reblogs are always appreciated 💕

gif: @pascalplease 

series masterlist | AO3

When you wake up the next morning, nothing seems different. And yet, you know that as of last night, everything was now different.

While you and Frankie were certainly not friends anymore, now… things were even more complicated than before. Less than friends, yet also more than that. Not quite lovers, but not less than that. All it took was one taste and you were sold to the passion you felt.

The more you think about it, the more your head is pounding persistently, soaked in questions you have no answer for.

You gathered all of your strength for the following week to do your goddamn job and get back in touch with your friends you so abruptly abandoned at their Valentine’s Day bash. You came up with whatever reasonable excuse you could think of, carefully avoiding the mentioning of what had actually transpired.

You called everyone individually and apologized, using the same excuse: stomach bug. It was serious enough to leave a party abruptly, but not life-threatening. Everyone bought it. You were safe.

Except that each time you looked in the mirror, you saw betrayal and shame.

You remain the same person, and yet everything is changed. You feel different. Because now you know what he feels like, and it is the most haunting knowledge you could’ve possibly possessed. You know what his touch feels like, and you know how sinfully good it feels to have him pressed atop of you, as well as hot and wet inside of you. You now know what Andrea must’ve felt on a regular basis, and thus the self-loathing process began in no time.

Frankie and Andrea being on a break didn’t change things much. Sure, they might not be together right now, but your conversation with Frankie gone south definitely altered his decision-making. You do wonder, at the back of your mind, if being with you felt different for him, too. You wonder if his body feels as heavy as yours does, as empty without your presence as yours does.

You wonder if he has trouble making a choice now.

What a cruel thing to think about, you harshly scold yourself. You shouldn’t be thinking this way. Instead, you should acknowledge that what happened was terrible, and hope that if Frankie and Andrea do get back together, they will both be blissfully happy with each other.

Like the affair with you hadn’t meant a single damn thing.

It can’t mean anything, you tell yourself. You happen to like Andrea, and whatever she and Frankie are going through right now, you can’t be in the middle of it. So you decide that if Frankie does not come clean to her about what happened between the two of you, you will. It’s the right thing to do.

After all, you cannot go on with the victim mentality. So what if you felt left behind and abandoned, lonely and broken? No one really cared. People hurt all the time, and they move on, with or without the pain.

Right now, all you have to do is get through this Friday.

You nearly forgot that you’re supposed to meet the gang for drinks at eight p.m., so you throw on a last minute outfit that won’t make you stand out, do your makeup in the most casual way possible, and you’re on your way. You do wonder if Andrea will be present. That would make things even more uncomfortable for you, and possibly for Frankie, too. But if they’re on a break from each other, they wouldn’t be hanging out with each other, right?

Instead of wondering till your head hurts again, you just get to the bar and take it one step at a time. Whatever might go down tonight, you know you can handle it. This is just between you and Frankie—and Andrea.

“Well hello stranger,” Benny greets you first with a big hug, followed by Emily.

“Hey, guys.”

“You won’t bail on us again, will you?” Emily chuckles.

“I don’t think so, no.”

You then go on to hug Will and Mia, taking the time to enjoy the sight of your friends so happy to see you. It’s been a long time since you actually felt so content, and all things aside, you’ve missed these outings with them.

“You feeling okay?” Will checks in with you.

“Yeah. It’s uh… it’s just been a weird couple of weeks.”

“You seem a bit… off.”

You breathe in, smiling instead. “I’m okay. Thank you.”

Ah, Will, the ever intuitive and caring man. You try to sneak in a smooth look around in search for the rest of the party, but you don’t see Frankie, Andrea, Santiago or Rose, for that matter. And just like that, you’re back to the questions.

“Where’s everyone?”

“Pope texted, saying him and Rose will be here in a few minutes. They seem to have lost track of time,” Will clarifies.

“I’ve used that excuse before, we know exactly what that means,” Benny chuckles.

“It’s not the same for everyone,” Emily says sweetly.

“Oh, please! They’ve had the hots for each other since forever and now that they started spending time alone? Chances are they’re going at it like rabbits.”

Emily makes a half amused, half grossed out face and playfully slaps his arm. You look at them fondly, admiring the openness and care they visibly have for each other, and you can’t help but swoon.

“Have you guys decided on a date for the wedding?” you ask Mia.

“We’re thinking April of next year,” she says with a flustered smile on her face. “So that it’s not too hot, not too cold.”

“Don’t worry, you’re all gonna get the invitations soon enough,” Will smiles.

“Which reminds me. I already asked Emily, but I’d like to ask you too. Would you like to be my maid of honor?”

Stunned, you stare at both Mia and Will, the corners of your mouth descend into a bright, warm smile.

“I’d love to, oh my God!” you exclaim and go to hug Mia.

For a moment, it all seems right in the world. No awkwardness, no aching, nothing negative.

And then, Frankie makes his appearance. And you’re back to the shame and guilt.

Although, much to your ease, you remark that he’s without Andrea. At the very least, playing pretend tonight will be easier. You don’t think you could handle being in Andrea’s vicinity without confessing everything to her, and that would pretty much ruin the night.

“Hi,” he greets you firstly.

“Hi.”

You’re well aware of the fact that all your friends are watching the two of you, so you try to act as natural as possible.

“Can I talk to you for a minute? Please?” he asks.

You can’t really hide your surprise, but you nod in agreement, going to a more secluded part of the bar. Although being so close to him, inhaling his cologne and feeling his warmth so close again, it’s probably not the best idea.

“What is it?” you ask sharply.

“This probably goes without saying, but what happened last week—“

“Nothing happened, Frankie,” you immediately cut him off.

He nods, slowly. “Right. Of course.”

“This also goes without saying, but nothing even remotely close to what didn’t happen will ever happen again,” you say.

“Agreed.”

“Have you talked to Andrea?”

Frankie gulps, momentarily avoiding your eyes, and you instantly recognize the answer.

“No,” he confesses. “We’re on a no talking, no seeing each other basis.”

“Sooner or later, you’re gonna have to tell her.”

“I’m gonna have to tell her something which didn’t happen?”

“Yes. Because if you don’t, I will.”

Bewildered, he curls his hand around your wrist, barely applying any pressure. “You want to tell her?” he can’t help but ask.

“Yes. It’s the right thing to do. And it you want to have a shot at your marriage, you’ll need to be honest with her.”

“Wait, so… I go back to her like nothing happened, like this didn’t mean anything?”

“Yes, Frankie! Because nothing happened, and it doesn’t mean anything!”

“I was in love with you then, and I’m just as in l—“

“No.”

Your tone is firm, decisive, and it shocks and chills Frankie at the same time.

“I am not a homewrecker,” you say. “And you are not a cheater. So this can’t be happening. This isn’t how we were supposed to happen, and I definitely won’t let it be a thing now. It was… good and fun, but—“

“Good?”

His voice sounds like he’s pleading for something, needing to hear something else, and it makes your knees weaker than you’d like to admit.

“That’s all?” he goes on, and you have to use whatever ounce of strength you have to resist the temptation.

“What do you wanna hear?”

The way Frankie looks at you, with eyes more lustful than you’ve ever seen them, you’re starting to doubt your own sanity and question your beliefs.

“You know what, you’re right,” he concedes, as if realizing he’s been talking a whole lot of nonsense until now. “It doesn’t matter. It was… nothing.”

You nod, all too eager. “It was nothing.”

You both return to the table, noticing drinks on the table already. Apparently Will paid for the first round, celebrating his upcoming nuptials. Then you notice Santiago and Rose rushing in, looking through the crowd for you all.

“Done already?” Benny teases them, much to their confusion.

“Would you knock it off?” you shush him.

“Sorry we’re late, it was traffic,” Santiago apologizes, cramming himself and Rose at the table.

Now you’re face to face with Frankie, which in retrospect, it might be more favorable than being right next to him.

“Sure there was,” Benny teases, right in Emily’s ear.

“Benny, come on.”

“So how have you guys been?” Will asks just as Santiago puts his arm around Rose. “I see things are picking up for the two of you.”

“Things are… good,” Rose concedes, barely containing the bright smile on her face. “Really good.”

“All I’m saying is, when you first start dating someone, you can’t really keep your hands to yourself,” Benny chuckles in your vicinity, but loud enough for you to hear. “It’s all about talking and having sex cause it’s just so incredible to be with that person. We didn’t even leave the bedroom for the whole weekend when you and I first got together, Em. And it was a weekly occurrence.”

Emily rolls her eyes, but to her ease, you chuckle. “TMI, guys,” you tell them, albeit your amusement.

“You gotta have this feeling at least once in your life,” Benny then tells you. “When you just can’t stop thinking about this person, when all you wanna do is be with them, get to know them inside out, on all levels, and all you can think about is kissing them, their hands in your body…”

You gulp, struggling to swallow around the massive stone in your throat as you lock eyes with Frankie. You do know that feeling all too well, especially now, and it makes your head spin. It is now, as you listen to Benny’s speech that you reminisce of how it felt to kiss him, at long last, after all those excruciating years, how it felt to have him grind in between your legs, so eager to please, how it felt to have his face buried in your soaked folds, licking to the depths of you till you saw stars.

“Where’s Andrea, by the way?” Mia asks, her question bringing you back with your feet on the ground. “Thought she was joining us tonight.”

Frankie clears his throat, desperately trying to avoid the curious glares from all of his friends. So he chooses to stare at you, knocking the air out of your lungs.

“Right. Andrea. Actually… we’re not on speaking terms right now,” he manages to get out. “Or seeing terms.”

“Is everything okay?”

“I don’t really know. She said she wants to take a little break from all the wedding stress, so… we’re on a break.”

“Does that mean the wedding’s off?” Emily asks.

“I don’t know. All she said is that she wants us to press pause on us, so we’re not talking or seeing each other for a while. She didn’t want to cancel the wedding, so until she figures out whatever it is that she wants, we’re not together right now.”

“I’m sorry, buddy,” Santiago says. “How are you holding up?”

“I don’t really feel like talking about it. So how about we talk more happy things, hm?”

You watch Frankie down the whiskey in his glass, thinking that the whole situation isn’t easy for him. But it isn’t easy for you, either. This whole situation could’ve been so much easier if maybe you wouldn’t have returned in your hometown.

Maybe Frankie had it right all along. Maybe cutting him out of your life for good would’ve been the easier road.

“Okay, okay, a toast!” Benny announces, raising his glass. “To… Pope, finally getting his freak on.”

“Dude,” Santiago scolds him.

“It’s okay, let him finish,” Rose intervenes, clearly bemused.

“Thank you! So. To Pope and Rose, finding their way to each other at last. It’s been a bumpy road for this dude, ‘specially when we were hoping those two would make it work instead.”

He points with his glass at Santiago and you, and Frankie is quick to notice that. He instantly frowns, a bitter taste in his mouth.

“What?” he asks.

“Yeah, those two and their little fling a few years back had us on the edge of our seat,” Benny laughs, unaware of the looks being exchanged at the table. “We figured when she came back in town, they rekindled things, but hey, all for the best!”

You remain quiet, staring apologetically at Rose, who reassures you through a single look and shake of her head that there are no hard feelings whatsoever.

“You—you dated Pope?” Frankie asks you straightforwardly.

“It wasn’t like that,” you exhale.

“We didn’t technically date,” Santiago adds.

“When was this?”

You and Santiago exchange looks, all while Frankie feels his blood boiling in his veins. He shouldn’t be affected by this, not even in the slightest, but he can’t help it. The control you have over him is far greater than self-control. All he cares about right now is that he was right to fear something was going on between you two.

Or there was, at some point.

“She was in town a couple of years back, summer break,” Santiago explains. “We hung out a few times. No big deal. We didn’t actually date.”

Benny leans in towards Emily, an embarrassed look on his face. “I’m really not good at keeping things secret, am I?”

“You either gotta stop drinking or I’ll have to sew your mouth shut, baby,” Emily tells him.

“See, I told you something was up with them,” Mia tells her friend.

“Not now! Why didn’t things work out?”

Santiago shrugs, while you remain completely quiet. “I don’t know, we just thought we’re better off as friends.”

“I always thought that’s just what people tell each other to make themselves feel better about their stupid, cowardly choices.”

Frankie nearly groans as he finishes the sentence, staring you down all the while. But it’s not working on you.

“Always, really?” you ask in retaliation.

“Anyway, fingers crossed for my third date with Rose, guys,” Santiago tries to lighten up the mood. “I really want this to work.”

“So do I,” Rose smiles.

“So do I,” you tell them both.

You can feel Frankie’s gaze on you, burning you alive, and it’s causing you difficulties with breathing. You have to be strong and make the right choice, otherwise…

Otherwise what does this say about you? That you’re willing to bend over all your morals and beliefs for one man, who still has a tight grip around you? That you’re actually not strong at all? That you are weak, craving and chasing all the wrong things?

That is not who you are. That is not who you’ll become. Not even for Frankie.

Which is quite the irony, considering the fact that you once said you’d do anything to be with him. Reality, however, is a little scarier than your original selfish thoughts.

You cast all of that aside, for the time being, at least. You toast to the happiness of your friends, calling it at night at eleven p.m. after one cocktail and a shot of tequila. You’re not trying to get drunk so your morals can bend over backwards just to feel—him.

“You sure you don’t wanna stay?” Rose tries to persuade you as you’re practically with one leg out the door.

“Sweetie, between sitting here with all you happily in love couples talking about pet names and sex and being at home in my PJ’s, I choose the latter. No offense. You know I love you.”

“I love you too. Get home safe, okay?”

“Okay.”

You kiss her cheek, eager to get out of the bar and feel the end of winter cold air hit your face. You need it more than you thought you did. You’ve made it through the night, and that’s something to be proud of.

You kick off your heels the moment you enter your apartment. A loud exhale escapes your mouth, then you freeze, just before you enter the bedroom.

You’ve slept in your room for the whole week, and yet now, as Frankie’s presence still looms over you, you feel that ache in your body again and all of the memories of how you’ve tainted that bed engulf you.

A loud knock on your door interrupts you reminiscing. You wonder who could it possibly be at this hour, but you don’t want to overthink this. Your head already pounds just thinking of Frankie’s eyes on you throughout the evening, and the look on his face when he heard about you and Santiago.

The second you open the door, you instantly regret it.

“What are you—“

“So you get to be hypocritical about my choice but yours is fine?”

Frankie storms inside, without even waiting for some sort of confirmation from you. He’s shaken and angry, and you do have a hint as to why that is, but you cannot dwell on that, you just can’t.

“I didn’t hide the truth from you, as opposed to you,” you remind him harshly. “You could’ve told me. You could’ve talked to me, but you chose to leave.”

There’s something slightly manic about Frankie’s laughter when he turns towards you, looking at you like you’re the one who’s gone mad.

“What person in their right mind would tell someone they’re in love with, ‘hey, I’m gonna cut you out of my life because I met someone new that I’m supposed to be happy with’?”

You frown, inching closer to him, just as Frankie’s face drops, realizing what he just said.

“’Supposed to’?” you ask.

“I’m happy,” he says grimly. “I am, I—“

“Why do you care about this, anyway? Why are you this angry over something that might’ve happened with me and Pope?”

“Because none of my friends bothered to tell me, and it fucking stings!”

“Maybe no one told you because you and I are not friends, Francisco! We haven’t been since you walked out on us, and we sure as hell aren’t friends now.”

You feel Frankie’s whiskey infused breath on your face, warm and threatening at the same time, and it gets you weak all over again.

“Is it that hard to believe or understand how this might hurt me?” he coos, looking you up and down. “That the girl I fell in love with in high school might’ve been secretly involved with my best friend?”

“You still have a wedding date set,” you remind him, your voice shaky in the slightest. “You may not be together right now, but that date still means something. It’s an open door. Andrea will want to return to you, and that means something.”

“Yeah, well, as it turns out, you also mean something to me.”

You’re nearly crying at this point, your limbs cold as you stare into his eyes. You see the misery, the confliction, the apology, everything, and it makes your situation even more complicated.

“I like Andrea,” you tell him. “I really do. Which makes it sound horrible based on what we did last week, but I do like her. She’s very nice. So I gotta ask.”

“No,” he cuts you off immediately. “Don’t.”

“Do you love her?”

Frankie’s eyes widen, much to your surprise. Before, it sounded like he had anticipated that question before you even posed it, and yet somehow, he still seems to be taken aback by it.

“We’re getting married,” he replies mechanically. “Still. I think. I don’t… ugh, fuck.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“That should be good enough.”

“Is it? Because if it was, last week wouldn’t have happened, no matter who I was.”

Frankie grits his teeth, racked with even more guilt and shame.

“If you love her as much as I hope you do, if you really do…” you start, “…we bury what happened with us, put on our happy smiles and move on like it never happened. When this break is over for you guys, if she decides she wants you, wholeheartedly, you won’t have to tell her a damn thing. I won’t, either.”

“We planned a wedding.”

His voice sounds defeated, broken, and for a simple moment lost in time, you feel dreadful being witness to such a sight.

“Frankie,” you coo, almost tempted to cup his cheek, to graze it gently.

“I love her because she’s not you. There’s your answer. I love her… in spite of her not being you. It’s both her best and worst feature. But I don’t blame you for that. I’d be an idiot and a half if I’d do that, it’s just… what about your little speech? ‘Choose me, love me, your friend’?”

The look on your face is even guiltier than his. “You’ve spent all this time with Andrea, being her partner in everything… it should be her.”

“I know it should be her. Don’t you think I know that?”

“I don’t love you! I don’t, okay?”

Lie, the little voice in your head screams at you. Lie like you’ve never lied before.

That’s when you finally pull away from him, your own shouting startling you, but you know that if you won’t get this out now, you might never be able to sleep again.

“I don’t love you anymore,” you say the words slowly, as angrily as you are capable of. “I’ve been holding onto this—this fantasy, this ghost of you, but it’s not real. It’s wrong and it’s tainted with betrayal and I just can’t be part of what this is doing to you and Andrea. Say what you want, but this break, this pause… this will be over, and she’ll still want to marry you because who in their right mind wouldn’t, so… I don’t love you. It’s gotten me nowhere and nothing. I can’t keep doing this.”

Frankie moves back to you, eyeing you up and down in the same way, only with more famish and desire, and it sparks the same thing out of you. You’re on very thin ice already, and this might be the last move to finally send you down under.

“You’re a miserable liar,” he murmurs.

“I’m actually a very good one.”

“Not to me, you aren’t.”

“But I don’t—“

“You do.”

You close your eyes, trying to regulate your breath, but failing spectacularly.

“Why do you sound so sure?” you whisper.

“Because I feel it. I feel it in the way you look at me, the way you kissed me, the way you moaned when I touched you—“

“Stop.”

“I don’t want this anymore than you do, not like this. But I can’t fight it.”

“You know what? I convinced myself for… so long that everything I thought there was between us was just my wishful thinking. That it was all in my head. That you could never see me as more than a simple friend. Pero tú y yo sabemos que no soy sólo alguien para ti. Sabes bien que yo no soy cualquiera.”

(But you and I both know that I am not just somebody to you. You know very well that I am not just anyone.)

Frankie’s jaw quite literally drops as he soaks in all of your words that fall so sweetly from your tongue. He’s absolutely stunned, in the impossibility to move or even breathe properly.

“Did you just—since when do you speak Spanish?” he has the strength to murmur.

“Took a class in college. Three years.”

He shakes his head, anxiously licking his lips and feeling himself falling apart with each passing second on the clock.

“Fucking hell, don’t—don’t do this to me,” he seemingly warns.

“You should go. Please, just go—just go already, like you did before.”

You sound so weak and pathetic, you’re not even believing yourself. You dropped that Spanish bombshell on him and you can tell it had a mind-blowing effect on him. He couldn’t possibly walk away from you after this.

“I can’t,” he coos almost desperately. “Tell me something worse than seeing you again, after all this time, being so close to you… and not being able to feel you?”

“Damn it, Francisco. Why couldn’t you have said all those things years ago, not now?”

“Because I’m a coward when it comes to this. And now that you’re here… I can’t handle this. I am… weak… as fuck. In a whole other way.”

The way he curses out loud, enunciating each breathy word, it’s making your head spin and soon, abandon all that makes you such a rational human being.

His lips are suddenly hungry, yet tender against yours. You angle your head just the right amount for Frankie to fully press his mouth on yours, his mustache a slight tickle against your face. His tongue catches yours, no need to even battle for dominance. You both cave in at the same time, an insatiable need overcoming both of you. The throbbing in your body is persistent and it hurts, causing you to squirm against his body.

Just as last week, Frankie handles you speedily and quite expertly; once you’re back into the tainted sanctuary you still call your bedroom, you find yourself on all fours on the mattress, the pants dragged down furiously from your ass. You suck in a deep breath, shook at the whole scenario, but your whole skin feels like it’s on fire, your veins plump with adrenaline.

Silence seems to be a mutual understanding between the two of you once again, and you’re both thankful for it; right now, you’re following each other’s motions and it’s more than enough by now. You’re waiting, unsure what for, but your patience runs thin. This already feels filthy enough without having it dragged on.

And suddenly, a broken gasp escapes your lips when you feel Frankie’s wet fingers playing with your clit for a little bit, and then, at long last, you feel his tongue dutifully lapping at your folds. It’s just as maddening as it was the first time, setting in motion a craving that can no longer be suppressed by mere motions.

Frankie’s actions are fueled by something more tonight. Jealousy. He was undeniably jealous tonight, and he can feel it still. His body burns, not just with the desire to feel you again. Your broken moans are more than enough to have his cock throb in his pants, feeling the slick building in your pussy. His large hands hold onto your ass as your mouth completely devours your heat. He needs this as depraved as the moment itself is, filled with shame and greed: fast and hard.

You’re so close; god fucking damn it, you’re so close. Just a little bit more, just a bit more of his skilled tongue to get you there and then—

Then what? Then you’ll magically be okay? You know this isn’t like craving some chocolate. This goes beyond that, in lieu of what you have repeatedly told yourself. This, right here—him driving his cock into your pussy till you’re both spent and guilty enough to walk away from each other—it’s not meaningless.

Not yet, Frankie thinks, steadying himself. Don’t let her come yet.

His mouth is no longer on you, and you actually feel your eyes get teary. Probably from a combination of overstimulation and neediness, but who’s to say for sure? Now, you’re just standing there, on all fours, ass and pussy exposed before him, anticipating whatever it is that’s coming.

There are so many things you’d like to say, from sweet nothings, to downright filthy, adoring things, and then some regretful things as well. But you don’t say anything. Neither of you does. The only sounds are, once again, your unsteady breaths, and then the sound of something being ripped apart.

Frankie grunts as he places the condom on his erection. It hurts to even wrap his hand around his cock at how swollen and needy he is. He guides himself to your entrance, not wasting a single more second. He doesn’t ease his way into you, nothing of the sort: it’s rough from the start, just in the way he’s practically shoving his cock between your tight, heated walls. You choke, grasping the sheets beneath you in a lousy attempt to steady yourself, but nothing can keep you grounded when Frankie’s slamming into you full force. His hands hold your body in place by the hips, the pace unforgiving. He doesn’t give you any time to adjust, nor does he allow himself a moment of peace. He just wants to fuck you rough and fast, and that’s all.

He drives into you without any kind of reserve whatsoever, relishing into your warm, slick cunt. He’s gonna fuck you till he forgets that his plans for the future are hindered. He’s gonna fuck you till he can’t breathe and till he forgets that his engagement fell apart for a reason he does his best to keep out of his mind.

He’s gonna fuck you till your lips are going to bleed because of how hard you’re trying not to scream his name.

With each breath you take, the harder he fucks you. Your face is buried in the sheets as Frankie rams his cock deeper into you, with a power you wouldn’t have deemed as possible. He hears you muttering some things, probably cuss words. He’s cussing under his breath, too, grunting and panting, needing to come so badly that he might just black out soon.

You swear you hear him mutter something along the lines of “Go on, fuckin’ cum”, but you refuse to dwell on it, not when your orgasm hits you full force. And, by the way Frankie’s thrusts slow and stutter, he’s in the same predicament.

With a final thrust, Frankie buries himself inside you to the hit, spent, whereas you break on a sob. You squeeze his cock, and then release him once he’s drenched in your orgasm. He pulls out as abruptly as he entered you, quickly cleaning you both and disposing of the condom. He accidentally locks eyes with you and you quiver. He falters, for one quick second, and you know he’s contemplating the same thing as you are.

“I should go,” he mutters, looking around disoriented.

He’s expecting arguments, shouts… yet still dares to stare at you, waiting for you to contradict him. A part of him wishes you’d actually want him to stay.

He certainly does not expect what comes out of your mouth next. “I really think that you should.”

previous | next

[unhingedkinfessions]

"we have full rights to make fun of you or judge you for whatever it is you submit"

yeah this is the reason fictionkinfessions is the only good kinfession blog. that's just super mean spirited to add for no good reason. like you're the mods, it's your job to curate a space for posts to be judged, commented on and talked about, not to decide which kinfessions you want to bully? if you MUST make fun of or judge something why not respond from your personal blog or send an anon replying to it instead of literally adding it onto the post itself? like yeesh why would anyone want to risk posting anything ACTUALLY unhinged in this environment?

it's your blog, do what you want forever, but like to me, a random tumblr user? ew.

>goes on the "we might be mean to you" blog

>gets upset we might be mean

if you dont like us then just block and move on dude lol. that's the whole gimmick of this blog. other kinblogs might not accept certain sources or kinfessions relating to certain subjects but the point is that we do but if you're genuinely a fucking weirdo we call it out. literally a guy the other day earnestly saying they kin a real life alleged n/zi drug addict with several criminal charges and was like "but he's awesome so maybe it's fine" like sorry that's deranged. not even feeling guilty about it. anons are on so you're not "risking" anything. you can't go into the peanut store and get mad they're selling peanuts because someone might be allergic. be for real lol. —mod bender

it’s not like people coming to this blog don’t know that’s what’s gonna happen to them if they send a kinfession, unless they didn’t read any of the rules/about/etc etc in which case that’s on them anyway? we state pretty clearly that if you send in kinfessions you’re acknowledging that we may make fun of you if you said something fucked up. this is like going to dick’s restaurant and getting mad when they’re dicks to you. like thats what we do here sir —mod pikmin

anon do you have something you wanna confess. are you just scared. you dont have to make up all this stuff if youre just scared were gonna be mean. you can tell me anything anon i could be your best friend i could be the best thing thats ever happened to you maybe we wont be mean come closer —mod joker

yeah its opt in man. we arent going onto random posts and judging strangers. this is like a confession booth where the priest is like "yeah it IS fucked up you did that though. like for real". our intentions are clear. and we really arent mean like a good 72% of the time anyways, theres plenty of positivity -dave dave

WHAT RISK WHAT RISK ANONS ARE ON FOR A REASON LITERALLY WHAT RISK‼️ the whole POINT is that we’re the ones responding and not random tumblr user #45 . literally this started on the idea of how funny it’d be to have a kinfession blog that actually Responds directly bc the other ones are booooooring. if you like those better you have agency you are a person you can make your own choices. lots of kin blogs are extremely limited in what they allow which leaves more “problematic” kintypes with little places to go, the disclaimer is there to say that although we may let you speak, we don’t inherently agree w you. like we make these terms so so clear this ask is so fucking funny lol - mod navi

ruling:

woah among us sex thats so cool...

[vibratingskull]

"Hiii, how are you doing??💓💓

First: I love your blog!!

Second: I never wrote an ask but I saw that you requests are open so I thought “why not”. But still: I’m shy.

I hope this ideas makes sense:

Basically since I finished Rebels I kinda crated this sort of ff in my head where the read is a f!jedi that used to be romantically involved with Thrawn during the clone wars (I was thinking that perhaps she could have been Anakin’s friend and the two met when him and Thrawn went for the mission about Padme). And now, after all this time, they met again: he is serving the empire, she is running away from it. Maybe they could met during Rebels or during the Ahsoka show (whatever you prefer). And I was thinking angst that ends with well…nsfw(??)

I mean if this could work for you, it will make my day. But please, feel free to ignore if this is a stupid ass idea HAHAH

(I’m not even sure that this could work with the canon timeline)

Have a good day:))

And thanks in any case💗💗" -anon

Thrawn x f!reader

tags: Angst, smut, blood, strangulation, p in v, creampie

You dance with death.

One step after one another, diving, blocking, repelling… With your lightsaber you dance. You have no other choice or the Imperials will get you. With a swift move of the blade you throw back lasers at their shooter. You project yourself in the Force, spinning and kicking this armada of Death troopers.

A part of you is relieved, for a moment you have feared to face off the inquisitors and their leader Darth Vader, but Death troopers and Navy officers you can manage. You block again, jumping and kicking one in the chest, they’re sent right against their colleagues and collapse. You look around you, sweat rolling at your temples, you're encircled. They all round around you with their weapons drowned at your head and chest.

“Arms up! Drop your weapon!” The leader shouts.

Like hell you will! You’ll teach them some Jedi tricks and a lesson. You close your eyes to dive deep in the Force and that’s when one of them shots you in the back.

______________________________________________________

You open your eyes in a flash, stand up in a jump and immediately regret it, feeling dizzy and vertigos making you lose your balance. You sit on the berth with a groan. 

Cowards, shouting you like that…

You reopen your eyes to observe your surroundings, you’re in a cell with black and red shades, typical of ISDs. You shake your hea-

Your lightsaber!?

You palp your hip, nothing.

“Is this what you are searching for?” A man's voice raises from behind you. 

You spin swiftly, projecting yourself in the force to throw this impudent against a wall.

But nothing.

You don’t feel anything.

You’ve lost all connections to the Force.

“It is useless, I have taken my precautions against your little tricks.” he continues calmly.

You look at your handcuffed hands without understanding.

How?

How does he do that?

You look frowning at the shadows of the cell, you can only distinguish a silhouette sitting in the dark with two red eyes piercing the obscurity and a purring.

Those eyes…

No.

Ridicule. 

“Show yourself and face me, coward!” You shout, baring your teeth.

“Chained? Without your lightsaber or the Force? I remember you to be more prudent and thoughtful…” You think you hear amusement in the tone.

“Don’t speak like you know me, Imperial trash! I do not share bread with the likes of you!”

“So I have seen.”

Did you just hear a yipping? You see his hand raise to caress something on his shoulders. 

“Shushhhh, dear… I am rather pleased to see you in such good health however. After all that happened, I was fearing for your life."

"Well sorry to disappoint. On my hand I don't remember meeting a single Imperial that escaped my blade." You spite. 

"We did meet. Long ago, in different circumstances. It was brief but I remember it to be quite… Intense. For both of us."

It is him!

Shut up ! 

You snarl.

"And what if you stopped to speak with enigmas and showed your pretty face? So I can kick it."

He chuckles. Is he making fun of you?

"I remember a time where jedis were peacekeepers and diplomats."

"And I remember times where your damn flag wasn't flowing at each corner of the galaxy. People change!" 

"Indeed. But you also stayed the same in some aspects."

Okay you're fed up now, you start pulling on your chain, seeing if there is any slack. 

"Like I said: useless." He plainly states. 

"Well I have to be imaginative so I can see who I'm talking to!" You pull harder. 

"I thought anger was forbidden for jedis" 

"Back when everything wasn't trying to kill us! You'll learn I'm quite flexible and broad minded when it comes to my survival!" 

"I already know. I remember you fierce and deadly on the battlefield, but also sneaky and more restrained."

This man is making you crazy. You tug one last time, and sigh, defeated. You let yourself fall on the bunk. 

"Ready to speak like adults?" He asks softly. 

"It looks like I don't have a choice…" You reluctantly admit. 

You greet your teeth. You're not in immediate danger, it seems like he wants to chat first before torturing you. First, finding what's happening to your connection to the Force, looks like diplomacy's back on the menu. 

You straighten your back and cross your legs under yourself, deep breathing through your nose, eyes closed. Slowly your anger subside, you make peace and quiet inside yourself. 

Nothing but peace. 

You slowly reopens your eyes. 

"I am ready.” 

"I wish to exchange information."

"What guarantees will I have?" you serenely ask

"Your life. And if your intel is proven useful, your freedom."

First lies. Two in two sentences, not bad but you've seen better. 

"I do not believe you." You announce clearly. 

"I am a man of honor. I give you my word."

"What credit can I give to a man who hides his face ?" 

He remains silent for a moment.

You see the shadow rise and approach. Slowly his face is revealed. 

Your heart skips a beat. 

You both look eyes in the eyes. 

"Hello, Ch'acah." He smiles faintly. 

Your heart flutters at the pet name. 

You heard him once! With a fateful kiss to seal it. 

But at the same time your heart is stabbed by the implications. 

"Thrawn…" You let out in one breath. 

He nods, the weird lizard on his shoulders yipps again. 

"It has been a long time." He ceremoniously says. 

Not long enough to forget him. Those sentiments you vowed to forget coming back full force. This mission you helped General Skywalker to find Senatrice Amidala… 

Peace and quiet ! 

Peace and quiet… 

For now you have only one question. 

"Why?" 

"To protect my people." He lets out. "As I always did and will always do."

"How could you?" Your lower lips quivers

"I did not intend things like this. When I came back the Empire was already in place, and it was a more effective ally than the Republic ever could."

You open your eyes wide. You can't believe what you're hearing. 

"To the point of helping them? All the massacres, the horrors?" 

"We are all trying at our scale" He tries "We are protecting civilians from greater threats, some have never heard the scream of a TIE over their head or see their sky darken under an ISD. This is for this peace that we are fighting for, for security and order.”

“For control and martial laws! The people were muffled and wrists shackled! Do you hear yourself!? This is tyranny!”

“This is a society under control.” He argues back. “What was so great about the corruption of your Republic? Tell me, what was so intrinsically good about your worlds left to rot while the jedis and the senators looked the other way?” He did not raise his voice but the tone was harsh, sharp.

“You could never understand. You never tasted this liberty.” You turn your body from him, hiding your head behind your hair.

It hurts.

Coming from him it hurts.

You always knew there was something wrong with the Jedi Council, that it was susceptible to pressure despite its will to remain impartial. But you tried, you all did, with the help of the Force you tried your best to help everyone.

But his treason hurts even more and you can’t forgive him.

“You never knew what we lost that day. And you never will…” You say more to yourself than him.

“I may not know that…” He tries considerably softer “But I know I want peace and tranquility for the galaxy, for everyone. And I do think the Empire is the key to that problem, if you would just listen to me…”

From the corner of your eyes you see him extending his hand toward you.

“Do not touch me!” You order.

He stops mid-movement.

“I forbid you from touching me…”

His hand fell to his side. He sighs and stands up.

“You are tired and wounded.” he calmly said “Rest a bit. I will come back to speak later.”

You scoff at him and turn your head to the wall, refusing to look at him. He puts his weird pet in a cage out of your grasp and leaves silently after looking back one last time. 

You lay done, biting your lower lips to prevent your tears from rolling.

Peace and quiet…

Peace and quiet…

Peace and quiet…

Peace and…

But some days it is so hard to be strong…

_______________________________________________________

You tug on your chains trying to reach that cage. You’re sure of yourself now, by some devilry this is this weird lizard that severed your connection to the force.

If only you could reach it…

You tug even more, all claws out, baring your teeth. Come on!

You hear footsteps on the other side of the corridor.

You jump on the bunk, facing the wall. You don’t want to see him.

You don’t want to face him.

In fact you want nothing to do with him.

Some night you fantasize about his death.

This traitor…

This backstabber…

This monster…

“I have brought you your dinner.” He politely announces.

He always does. It is way below him as a Grand Admiral but he makes it a point of honor to bring you your tray himself. He always announces himself, leaves the tray on the ground; feed the lizard and excuses himself.

He didn’t try to speak with you, to touch you, or to force his presence on you.

A good thing because you would not take it well, not at all…

Without your lightsaber and the Force you remain a warrior and he would get a taste of your competences if he ever dared approach you.

But today is different.

Today you need him close.

You deeply inhale through your nose and slowly raise to sit on the bunk, one hand casually behind your back.

“Give it to me…” You demand with lingering anger and resignation in the voice.

He looks at you with surprise for a demi-second before putting his stoic mask back. 

Did you finally accept your condition? Were you finally ready to speak with him? Did you forgive him? All those questions flashed in his shiny red eyes in an instant and disappeared just as quickly.

He approaches with the fuming tray, unaware of what’s gonna happen.

Perfect.

Closer…

“I remember you liked today’s dish” he casually says

Closer...

When he puts the tray on the bed next to you, you throw your hand…

He blocks just in time.

Your makeshift weapon slashed him across the jaw but didn’t penetrate his skull as you planned.

You're blocked in a momentum where you force on your hand to stab him and he holds back your arm in his fist. Nothing comes to tilt the balance.

“I knew you would try something.” He simply says as blood run from his cut all across his cheek “But carving a blade out of your toothbrush handle is quite ingenuous”

“I’m full of ressources, remember?” you slyly retort.

“I do. And as an homage to your talents I will forgive you this time.” He starts wringing your arm, forcing you to let go of your weapon with a wince. “But this time only.” He murmurs coldly.

“Then you can sit on your intel.” 

He picks the blade and releases your arm, blood starting to stain his pristine white uniform.

“I am a patient man, I can wait until you are desperate.”

“I am a jedi, I don’t know despair.” You massage your arm.

“We will see that after several days without food.”

He picks up the tray and exits your cell.

It is not a problem for you with the Jedi hibernation technique, but you will need to think of another plan…

____________________________________________________________

You bite your lower lips hard. 

You slash it and bury your teeth into the soft flesh until you draw blood.

It hurts like hell.

You smudge the blood all across your mouth and cheeks and pour some on the floor, you bite into your inner cheek until blood fills your mouth.

Then you lay there, in the middle of the cell, in a pool of blood. 

And wait.

You hear footsteps.

It's him

You close your eyes and let him approach.

“Ch’acah?!” You hear in a slightly higher tone than you’re used to.

But he regains his cool instantly and instead of panicking approaches you slowly and calmly, checking for your vitals. 

You wait for him to lean over you and when he’s close enough you rise like a devil and circle his throat with your chain. 

You tug as hard as you can.

Taken by surprise he opens his eyes wide, gasping for air, pulling on the chains, so you tug even more. In the confusion you lose your balance and end up straddling him on the ground as you strangle him. You feel an acidic pool in your stomach…

He fights back. Hard. But you maintain your position, squeezing tighter and tighter…

You look him in the eye as you try to kill him, you see surprise then focus in his gaze as he tries to unfast the chains. He grasps the chains, tries to throw you off of him or make you lose your grip. 

But you hold on.

After 30 seconds his face turns purple and he extends his hand toward you. You’re ready to receive a punch and close your eyes, waiting for the impact but instead feel an incredibly soft caress on your cheek. You reopen your eyes in surprise to see he almost stopped moving, looking at in his final moment with only adoration in his eyes. 

In his final moments he stops fighting and chooses to love you one last time…

That’s when you break…

“I can’t…”

You let down the chains, breaking sobbing. He immediately tugged them away from his throat and took an enormous breath, coughing.

“I can’t… I can’t…” You hold your face in your hands, fully crying. “I can’t kill you… I’m not strong enough…”

He massages his throat, taking deep breaths. He looks at you under half closed eyelids

“I hate you. You crystallize this damn Empire and all the things I fight against…” You hiccup “But I love you so much… You’re the last thing I have from that era…” You hug yourself, abandoning yourself to your sentiments, against all you believe in. 

You suddenly feel arms around you, hugging you in a warm embrace. Silently, Thrawn caresses your hair and grazes your back. Shocked and against your better judgment you snuggle against his chest, shaked by spasms.

“We will find a way.” He says in a croaky voice. “Things do not have to be that way, we can find solutions. Look at me…” He takes your chin between his fingers to tilt your head. “Together, we will find a way…” he murmurs 

You look into his burning gaze, you find an unflinching will and unbreakable resolution, but you don’t fool yourself, this is not something you can just gloss over and forget. The chasm is too big, too deep even for Thrawn and his utopian hopes… but again, Thrawn is known to always beat the odds.

Slowly, unconsciously your eyes lower down to his lips. He’s still panting after your attack and his lips are a bit swollen, but so tempting. You lick your lips remembering your kiss, the only one you ever had, the only one you shared  in a solemn moment before he left for his home and you had to get back to Anakin and the Senator Amidala. He seems to pick up on your thoughts because he leans forwards until you can feel his breath on your lips but stops to let you decide. 

You close your eyes and meet him. The kiss is soft, as you remembered, hesitant but tender. You slowly part, reopening your eyes to look into his glowing orbs again.

“Is it a good idea…?” You ask, unsure.

“I do not know. But that might be our only chance to build something…” He answers ceremoniously.

You take his head in your hand and kiss him again, your tongues meeting and dancing with each other. He holds the back of your head and squeezes you in his arms. You press yourself against him, laying on the ground with him. His hands slide across all your body, caressing your flanks and grasping your hips. You kiss his jaw and lick your way to his neck as he unbuckles your belt. You bite into the soft flesh and earn a groan on his part. He pull you on his laps to straddle him and starts opening your combination as you slide your hands under his jacket and top to feel his warm skin and chiseled abs. You feel a bulge against your cunny and moan, grinding into it. A warm pool starts to form deep into your core. Kissing your shoulder Thrawn pulls your prisoner combination off your shoulder and passes his hands under your top to grope your bosoms. He kneads and palps them, flicking your nipples with his thumbs, you mewl to encourage him. He helps you take off your t-shirt and open your pants, leaving you in your panties. You wave your body against his groin and moan, exciting him through the fabric. He holds your hips as you grind, eyes closed, he appreciates the sensations. You feel the bulge get warmer and bigger. When he has enough he starts opening his pants and you help him free his erection and you’re about to jump onto it when he stops you.

“No, let me explore you first.”

You feel your inner walls clench at his demand. His hand grazes your pubic mound to slide under you and teases your clit with his thumb while he gently inserts his knuckles into you. He pushes two fingers inside and searches for your g spot, caressing your cunt delicately. When he finds the gummy spot he grazes it vigorously as he circles your clit, building your excitement, you get wetter by the seconds. When you drip onto his hand he invites you to dry hump against his cock, coating it with your slick. You mewl as you rub yourself against his hard member, appreciating all the veins and ridges, you call his name without any shame.

“Ride me.” He says in a deep breath.

You nod desperately, raising your hips to nudge your entrance with his tip and slowly sink onto it, pushing your inner walls as you get so deliciously full of him. God he’s so big you see a bulge. With his hands on your hips you start riding him with delight, your flesh meeting in obscene wet noises. You put your hands on his chest for support and quicken your pace. You ride for two minutes before losing your forces, he then starts to rock and rut into you to guide him to completion. With his powerful thrusts you reach your peak without difficulty and come on his cock with a silent cry. He continues to push three or four times before cumming inside your cunny.

Panting, you lay on his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat.

“You know this is not sustainable…” You say after a moment of silence.

“I know, but for now there is only the two of us and I want to treasure this moment.” He replies, kissing your forehead, embracing you tightly.

Maker knows what would become of you both, but for now you close your eyes feeling secure in his arms. 

@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar @thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay

[kaecodes]

Universal Scroll Button(Autochange Direction) For Any Host

Hey, do you have a site with a lot of forums? Does your host allow you to use Javascript? Boy does this weirdo have a deal for you! For the low low price of free, you can get right now access to a scroll button that swaps directions when you scroll automatically, as well as changing the target & title on hover! Act fast, this deal won't last! I kid, but enough of the ShamWowery. In reality, this is a very simple script that reads how far you have scrolled a window, & applies or removes a class to your scroll button, as well as changing the target of said scroll button & adjusting the title to reflect which way it will take you!

It's so simple, crediting me seems superfluous but if you want, feel free to credit with a link to my blog <3 I hope the new verse of our song is eminently kind to everyone!

See it In Action(Click, or look Below):

I currently use this code on two different WIPS, so feel free to check out some gifs;

To Begin

Before the end of your </body> tag in your wrappers(for Jcink) or wherever the HTML templates go on other sites, you want to place this script:

<script> $(window).scroll(function() { if ($(this).scrollTop() > 800) { $('#scroll').attr("title","To Top?").attr("href","#Top").addClass('totop'); } else { $('#scroll').attr("title", "To Bottom?").attr("href","#Bottom").removeClass('totop'); } });</script>

This seeks out an id of Scroll to adjust the href & title as needed depending on the scroll position within the relevant window. The scroll amount is in px, so to change how quickly it changes the button, alter the number 800 to whatever you desire, fiddle with it; one size never fits all.

The Styling

Once you've saved that, move to your CSS, or wherever your Style tag is to add styling for the link itself. Keep in mind the link should be contained within a container that handles its positioning for it as otherwise the script will fuck with the positioning as well as the transformation & you really just want it to spin upwards.

The styling for the link should be as follows;

#scroll { display: inline-block; positioning: relative; transform: rotate(0deg); transition: transform .5s ease-in-out; /*** ^ change the .5s to alter duration or the ease-in-out to alter the timing of the transition between button states ***/ }

#scroll.totop { transform: rotate(180deg); }

The first statement defines the default state (linking to the bottom) of the scroll button on the load of the page, the second defines the change of position once the window has been scrolled far enough to activate one's script.

The HTML

Now you've got the behaviour defined via JS & the styling defined via CSS, it's time to input the HTML, or the bone structure of the code itself. In your wrappers, template, or wherever HTML goes on your host, locate three places;

One, where you want the TOP scroll location to be. This is where the scroll button will take you once it has changed states on scrolling a certain distance. Here, you place an anchor span as follows;

<span id="Top"></span>

Two, Where you desire for the BOTTOM or BODY scroll location to be, as in where the scroll button will take you on click initially. This could also be a scroll to the start of content, in which case I recommend changing #Bottom & id="Bottom" respectively to reflect the syntax, it's entirely up to you. Here, you place an anchor span as follows;

<span id="Bottom"></span>

Finally, It's time to add the scroll button. Keep in mind, where you put it is a function of utility & design choice. Some like it persistently hovering in a fixed position, some like it in a sidebar or on userlinks, some prefer it in the navigation bar.

Wherever you place it, try to ensure that it's easily accessible on any device, screen size, & matches the User Interface logic you've used everywhere else. If you have all text buttons, don't use just an icon, if you have all icons, don't suddenly use just text. Match your action calls, so users don't feel confused while using your site.

Once you've decided where you want it, place the following code, NOTING that there should be a container for this code that positions it for you. I've provided two options; the Icon Font option (courtesy of Phosphoricons -- a free & reliable Icon Font I recommend -- As well as one which includes text, so both UI/UX design philosophies are accommodated.

Note the option with text will only rotate the caret from downwards to upwards, so the scroll text shouldn't need editing unless you want to add or supplement flavourtext.

Please choose the appropriate option for yourself;

Icon Font

<a id="scroll" class="ph-fill ph-caret-down"></a>

Icon Font with Text

<span>Scroll <a id="scroll" class="ph-fill ph-caret-down"></a>?</span>

Some Notes:

I just want to add a bit of info:

If your browser isn't scrolling smoothly to your anchors? Check your settings, & be sure the root of your CSS has scroll-behaviour: smooth; in it.

If you use this guide & have problems getting it to work, please let me know! I will troubleshoot this for you & tumblr has strange coding, I may have futzed something up, I want this to be as accessible as possible, so don't be silent; questions help!

If you are not using Jcink, or another host with a Jquery library pre-loaded, be aware that one is needed for this script to work. Most hosts will have a default Jquery library, but if yours doesn't or you're self hosting, any should do. The Jcink file is below, however, if you want to just use that.

[maddsmallow]

hi im gonna complain about people seeing hank and connor as father and son under the break so if you see them like that maybe dont read. like you do you but if this is gonna upset you then. dont fuckin read it lmao

if tumblr puts this in the fucking tags even tho i didnt tag it 1) im sorry, and 2) im gonna be fucking pissed im just trying to vent on my own got dang blog

cropped out the person who made these tags because i dont even know them and also im not a fucking asshole thats gonna put someone on blast like that but. this is the EXACT problem i have with hank and connor as father/son. i dont even mind connor seeing hank as a mentor or something like that (even tho i personally disagree with using the term "father figure"), but it's the "connor is like a new chance for hank to be a dad" that fucking gets me. do you not see all the different CANON reasons why that works completely against hank's character, and takes away connor's say in the whole situation?? hank IS a dad. he's a dad to a dead boy. basically his whole fuckin personality is him mourning over the loss of cole because he loves him SO much. you think he's gonna cling to the first mentee he's had since cole's death and immediately have him replace his dead fucking child? that's like, making hank give into some kind of fucked up delusion. that's mentol illness luv. imagine misunderstanding a character THAT badly.

and that isnt even getting into the whole "you're taking away all of connor's agency as a fully grown adult man" thing. he's not a child. he's an android that was activated only a few months ago, sure, but he was literally created to be like 27-33 or something. he deals with guns. he looks at pole dancers at the eden club. he works with murder scenes. you literally ARE taking away all of his agency as an adult man by seeing him as some little puppyboy that needs a dad to take care of him.

i mean of course you can take these characters and do whatever you want with them outside of canon, they're basically just barbie dolls lmao. but to claim that it's CANON that hank would think of connor as his own literal son, that he thinks that before the game's even over?? absolutely fucking not. those jokes of hank being like "who's my son?" and connor answering "me:)" and hank's relationship bar goes up, it's cute i guess but if that happened in the game? if that was a real choice in the game? hank would've shot connor without a second fucking thought. hell no hank would've thought connor was anything CLOSE to what cole was to him. hank straight up would've murdered the real connor and not even been upset about it when sixty told him so. david cage can eat my entire ass for agreeing that they're father and son, he just said that because he's a homophobic piece of shit, and that's literally the ONLY thing ever to point at them having that sort of relationship.

and i'm not gonna sit here and be like "but anyways here's all the reasons hank and connor are TOTALLY in love" because i dont actually think that's canon either. i'm just playing with them like barbie dolls lmao. my problem is people taking subtext that doesnt fucking exist of them being "like father and son" and claiming it's the be all end all of their whole relationship. their view of them as father and son is the ONLY way to see them. which is just not fucking true. there's NOTHING in canon to support them as being anything but close friends or enemies. that's it. and then they come onto these posts about hankcon, which obviously have NOTHING to do with them since they dont ship it, and tell the OP who ships them "fuck you." like?? you could have just scrolled. you could have just kept fucking scrolling. you fool. you moron. what happened to ship and let ship. just fucking move on, jesus christ. stop taking the time and effort out of your day to go out of your way to 1) make yourself upset by seeing this content and not just blacklisting it and blocking the posters, and 2) making someone else upset that you took the time to be a shithead on something that obviously wasn't even meant for you but made THEM happy. just stop !!! log off!! touch grass!! and this goes for hankcon shippers who do the same!! what the fuck is wrong with you!! we're all just here to vibe and love on these dork ass characters!!!!! fuck !!!!!!!!!!!

also it's super cringe when bryan dechart is playing the game and you're all screaming "wow best father son duo everrrrr" in the chat as if that also doesnt make bryan uncomfortable because he's gotta be super fucking careful about how he fuckin speaks about his character to everyone and not piss off all the rabid father-sonners by insinuating they're only friends. just. shut the fuck up. hankcon shippers who try to shove it in other people's faces also need to shut the fuck up. jesus fucking christ

IN OTHER WORDS. old man yells at cloud is basically me rn

^actual pic of me

anyways here's a cookie 🍪

[raven-cincaide-words]

𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓪 𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴/𝓱𝓲𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓼

When writers take a break because something happens- you lose a friend, burn out from writing or spend three months obsessively creating a master thesis on naked activism to the point you can’t stand seeing another dick or titty- the absence is talked about a lot. Including a ton of support. So WE see tons of posts about writers and artists deactivating, leaving, or disappearing because of one thing or another. But, what we rarely talk about is the ‘coming back’ part. 

Especially if you’ve grown a bit of a following in the months you’ve been gone, and suddenly you log in and see all the people who adore your stuff and can’t wait to see more of your work, and who are so freaking overjoyed you’re online it’s surreal, it’s amazing. Really. But it’s also pressure. It’s pressure from them and pressure you put on yourself to come back as if nothing happened and continue writing as if you hadn’t just torn up all your art and shut down the draft folder in frustration seemingly for good. 

To come back as if nothing happened and write to the same style, tempo, interests as you did before your hiatus, break or pause. 

But the fact of the matter is, whether it’s a week, a month or years, you’re no longer the same person you were when you were creating every waking moment of every day. Maybe you’re like me and feel rusty. The scenes are there but the words don’t flow. Or it’s like you’re stuck in a permanent writer's block staring at white pages and blank google docs. You want to write but nothing comes out, So you’re suddenly staring at quotes and guides to get out of writers block; maybe even prompts or your old works wondering how the fuck did you write this in the first place. It seems amazing in comparison to the kiddy text you’re struggling with now. 

You remember writing as ‘easy’ and ‘fun’ and now it’s not. It’s hard and painful and far from ‘fun’. So what can you do? I don’t have an answer or a magic solution but I can share what I do to make ‘coming back’ flow smoother and be less awkward for all parties involved. 

Be prepared that everything WILL take more time than it did before. If you could churn out a chapter draft a night; give yourself a week for writing and a week to read through it, at least. Keep that in mind when you set up goals (because you should have goals!) so you don’t get disappointed because you’re too ambitious, don’t meet them, and thus end up just giving up instead. Slow and steady wins the race- or wins getting back into shape.

If you feel pressure from your followers/readers/Beta readers, keep an honest and open communication. Explain that you’re still not fully back but may be around more than before- or not. Your choice.  

To take a little bit of pressure off- create a new account. Either with a similar username or a completely new one and just have fun with it, try different things, post, edit just to feel like writing/blogging/whatever you do again. A little like colouring outside the lines without knowing what it will be; if you like it, yaay, and if you hate it you can just tear out the page without ruining the rest of your pictures. At the same time giving you a chance to get back into routine, style, feel and interest of writing. 

Stay away from things that make you feel like you’re in a box; try new styles, new art, new prompts. For the time, move away from your usual settings, or usual pairings. Quite frankly, don’t even think about characters for the time being!  

But for the sake of everything holy, stay away from guides and ‘how to get out writing blocks texts’.  No, they aren’t for you, not at this stage at least. Instead focus on figuring out what- if anything- you find fun. What peaks your curiosity? What makes your creativity flow? 

As a writer I stay away from scenes or very rigid prompts. Such as A takes B out on a date. Even if it can feel like the easiest approach to getting back into writing- after all most of the work is done for you already, right? Wrong. For me that is very much putting writing into a box rather than having me explore. Instead I work with short- often one word- prompts. For example I am currently working with: Back to the basics. Here is how I approach it: 

First I look at the word, for example ‘rejection’. For me, when I write something with rejection it is almost always angst or hurt comfort. So first thing is that I define, for myself ‘what rejection means’; is it rejection of someone, rejection of something, is it from the perspective of the rejector or the rejected? Why is it important/why should we care about someone- or thing being rejected? What importance does it have and how do I convey that importance? Do I have an idea here or should I work more with the word? Maybe a synonym or antonym?

Then I start playing around with it. Okay so if rejection is always angst- can I make it the opposite, for example happiness? Can it be a happy ‘rejection’ why?/why not? Who would be happy to be rejected? (For example in an arranged marriage when one part is in love with someone else? Or maybe being rejected is the push a character needs to make a difficult decision such as move away, commit a crime, etc?)  At this point I start trying to gather my thoughts a little with; Who? What? Where? When and Why? While still circling around the word. 

Then after I’ve played around I usually have some kind of storyline or idea. No matter how rough, can be just answers to the questions above. No biggy. Then it’s time for a sprint. So I sit down and type it; usually set a 20 min timer, no distractions and type every single word that comes to mind. No edits at this point- not even spell check- just pure word vomit. 

Do I have energy for another sprint? IF yes- keep going. IF no, then I start going over the words and beating them into shape. Is it a silly fic? Which barely makes sense? Perfect, post it!

Leave it out there on your new account. Come back to it, maybe write another chapter of it, or just laugh that it exists. Then repeat it again if you feel your anxiety spike. After a while writing will stop feeling daunting- the pressure won’t be so suffocating anymore. And then it really will feel like you’re actually back. 

Liked this advice and want to see more? Check out my profile below! Main| About Raven | Beta & Rules |Prompts | Masterlist | Tags & links|

All fics and beta work are unique works by © raven-cincaide 2024. Do not copy/repost/translate or spread my work(s) without my explicit permission. If you see any of my work(s) reworked/reposted/copied anywhere, please inform me!

[malka-lisitsa]

4, 7, 17, 18, 20, 30 <3 kiss kiss kiss

send a number for me to talk about one of the following topics!

4 and 17 here!

7- DNIs in rules: Honestly they don't bother me. I have thought about a DNI in mine once or twice. People hurt people, and it's ok to want to keep them far the fuck away from you. It's ok to tell people about your experience. They're adults they can make their own choices I do not think someone is automatically toxic bc they put someone in their DNI. I don't think it's toxic to tell people when someone has hurt you. Harassment is toxic, anon hate is toxic, DNI's are not toxic. You should be allowed to keep people off your dash and not want to associate with people who associate with them. Like I said the person reading your rules has every opportunity to decide for themselves which way they want to go on that all you did was put up a rule.

18- Shipping: I prefer ships that are deep. Ships with a story. Ships with chemistry. Ships that arent perfect, ships that developed out of nowhere. I never go into ANY interaction expecting a ship with one of my characters unless it's canon and even then it varies how close x character is to the other depending on how the other person plays them. Katherine has her favourite Stefans and then the Stefans she doesnt like quite as much. Same for Elena. Katherine in general is hard to ship lmfao but Elena isn't so I have an easy shipping muse, and a hard mode shipping muse. What I DONT LIKE is people throwing ships together bc the fc's are hot. I mean do what you want to do its your blog but yes I do judge people for that.

20- Violent threads: I love them. I mean Katherine isn't OVERLY violent at all times but she can and she will fucking HURT YOU and I don't get to explore her doing that enough bc most muses arent that fucking stupid.... tho I did have a thread once with @humanchewtoy where Katherine beat the shit out of Stiles and killed him and to this day that is one of my faves. <3

30- my choice, Im gonna go with 29 blocking: I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this too but I don't fucking care.

I fully support curating your space. What I have an issue with, honestly is when you've established an ooc repour with someone, you even are kinda close with them and have a good time- and then just suddenly block them with no explanation. It's fine for randos whatever.... but I think it's incredibly rude and crass to just block someone you actually got to know ooc. That was your friend even if it was a loose term. If they want to know why you blocked them they have a right to know why they suddenly don't have a friend and it is not TOXIC to want to know why someone you really liked suddenly DROPPED YOU.

Now harassing that person to find out IS toxic, but I still maintain it's valid to want to know why someone dropped you suddenly. You don't owe randos anything, no- you do owe your friends the very bare minimum of an explanation even if you block them right after. It's such a dick move to just drop someone you had a friendship with without the curtesy of saying "Hey I'm cutting our friendship bc of X y and z" because people can't fix behaviors they don't fucking know about. It HURTS to be friends with someone and then wake up or sign on wanting to tell them something and suddenly youre blocked and you dont know why. It's anxiety inducing. It does NOTHING for people with abandonment issues.

So don't be a douche. Don't be a coward. If you want to block someone thats fine. You don't owe a rando anything. But you do owe your (ex)friend the minimum decency of an explanation so they dont spend the next week and a half stressing over what they could have possibly done.

[dojodgtl]

The #1 Secret to Success Revealed: Don't Make This Mistake and Fail Like Everyone Else!

The #1 reason people fail? Lack of consistency. Don't be one of them! Successful online entrepreneurs know that consistency is key

Introduction

Consistency is the key to success. If you want to be successful at something, you need to do it often! The problem is that most people don't have time in their busy schedule for regular exercise, meditation, or even eating healthy. We all lead such busy lives these days that it's hard to find time for anything. But here's the thing: if you want success in any area of your life (financially, physically etc.), then consistency is key!

It's not about the end goal. It's about who you become by consistently pushing the edge of your limits. - Robin S. Sharma

Consistency is the key to success.

It's a habit, and it can be developed over time through practice and repetition. In fact, consistency is the key to success in any area of life: business, fitness, relationships and more! Consistency is what separates the successful from those who fail at their goals because they lack this vital trait.

If you want something bad enough then it's up to YOU! No one else can make sure that your dreams come true except for yourself; no one else will hold up their end of the bargain if they don't see any effort on YOUR part either!

Why is consistency so important?

Consistency is a habit, a mindset, and a choice.

The reason why consistency is so important is that it's not just something you do once in a while or when you feel like it. Consistency has to be part of your daily life if you want to see results from your efforts.

When it comes down to it, success comes from repetition: doing the same thing over and over again until it becomes second nature for us--and this applies not only when we're talking about our work but also our personal lives as well!

Get into a routine and stick to it!

As a business owner, you will be faced with many challenges and obstacles. You may feel like giving up at times. But if you keep moving forward and stay consistent with your work, the results will come in the long run.

The key is to get into a routine that works best for you and stick to it! Here are some examples of routines successful online entrepreneurs use:

•        They set aside time each day (or week) for their business activities like blogging or social media marketing; this could be 30 minutes in the morning before work or an hour after work every day of the week - whatever works best for your schedule! Then they don't let anything interfere with those scheduled blocks of time -- no phone calls from friends/family members or distractions online while working on projects related to their businesses; just focus on whatever needs doing right then so nothing gets left undone later…

If you want to be successful at something, you need to do it often!

The number one reason people fail is lack of consistency. They start a new habit, but after a few days or weeks, they stop doing it. This is because they are not committed to their goal and have no real reason why they should keep going.

If you want to reach your goals in life and business, then you need to do something every single day that moves you towards those goals. Don't just think about what you want; take action! Make sure that whatever habits or routines you create include working towards those goals on a daily basis until they become part of who YOU are as an individual (or business).

Long-term consistency trumps short-term intensity. - Bruce Lee

If you want to know what the #1 reason people fail, it's lack of consistency.

If you want to be successful at something, you need to do it often--and get into a routine!

One example of this is working out. If you go to the gym once or twice and then stop going because "life got in the way," then guess what? You're not going to lose weight--or build muscle mass--any faster than someone else who goes consistently every week (or even every day). In fact, if anything that person will have an advantage over you because he/she has more time invested in his/her goal.

The #1 reason people fail? Lack of consistency. Don't be one of them! Check out this Free Training to learn: 2-Step System for creating online income.

Conclusion If you want to be successful at something, you need to do it often! If you're not consistent with your marketing efforts and updating your website then it will be hard for people to find you online.

[epickiya722]

I already blocked this person and deleted their replies, but I'm going to address something when I made this post.

The gist of it is it is never okay to attack others over a ship. Don't call others slurs, don't send threats, don't wish harm on others, etc.

I even said "no matter what you ship", meaning I'm including BkDks in that, too. I know every ship has their bad shippers and their good ones.

This person told me to not use the BkDk tag because I'm talking negative, but here's the thing.

I'm not saying anything bad about the ship itself.

Just sharing how BkDks are always attacked for their ship in harsh ways that they don't deserve.

They say how anti-shippers never see what BkDk shippers say or do because they mind their business and stick to their own tags.

Which yeah, I'm sure some do. But what about the ones who've been attacking BkDks purposely on Tumblr, Twitter, TikTok and other platforms?

"You only see the horrible ones that go out of their way to start fights."

EXACTLY WHAT ME AND OTHER BKDKS HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT IS NOT OKAY!!!

Some anti shippers may properly tag their posts and stay in their space, never said they don't.

It's the ones who act all hysterical that are the troublemakers.

BkDks always have to say "properly tag your posts", I even make a post earlier about that.

BkDks end up seeing said posts because even if the anti tag is added, if you add the main tag it will show up with other BkDk posts, so that tag needs to be dropped so it can be avoided by the shippers.

"I know it's never ending with the worst people seeking out others to start fights and spread hate but we all just have to do are block and report those people and move on."

And that's all I and others have been doing! We are aware that it's never ending and that what makes it frustrating. They go out their way be to jerks to shippers, but why when they could stay in their own space?

"So please post and talk about whatever you want. Just don't use the BkDk tag please. By doing so you're going out your way to talk about people who are minding their business."

First off all, I am going to talk about whatever the hell I want. If I wanna waste my damn time on MY blog I can and I will and I'm not letting anyone dictate me on it when this post was bringing up an issue other BkDks have faced.

Second, my post is no different than what other BkDks have posted. We all are just venting out frustration towards the antis who do go out their way to be hateful for no reason. Did this person go around and say the same thing to other shippers who have wrote similar posts? Anyone got a lavender-scented-decay on their posts? I am actually curious.

"Don't post hot takes about haters..."

Then haters shouldn't be mistreating others over a ship. If I wanna vent out my frustration and annoyance, I'll do that. Every shipper has. It's okay to vent a little.

It's not like I'm sending threats to people. That is disgusting.

Third, I find it funny this person decided to reply on my post instead of making their own. Why I find this funny?

THEY'RE AN EMPTY BLOG!!!

I personally think they even went out their way to do this just to stir the pot.

They liked fanart they could have at least reblogged, noooo. They wasted their time replying on MY post. So you rather reply on my post, be an empty blog and not at least support artists?

If an anti saw my post and got offended, then obviously they are someone who sends the threats and harass shippers.

If not, they have the choice to skip past my post. Better yet not have been in the main ship tag.

I didn't post "anti bakudeku" for this post. So they would actively been seeking out BkDk posts to get mad over. I didn't at any antis I knew or go into their space to argue with them. I stayed in mine.

They said not to waste my time or theirs posting about haters.

I'm wasting their time... honey, no.

You wasted yours.

Below are the replies, I apologize though since I screen shotted off my email so they're a little weirdly formatted.

Crazy how any time Midoriya or Bakugou have been drawn with other characters in a "potentially shippy" way, BkDks are like "eh, cool". They're real chill.

Hell, the third movie was practically about a love about RoDeku (I'm joking, calm down, folks) and I don't recall BkDks freaking out. I'm sure some BkDks probably acted out because Bakugou wasn’t in the movie as much as we thought he and Todoroki would be, but the majority was like "cool movie" or whatever.

But ooooh! Anytime Bakugou and Midoriya is drawn in the same panel and don't even be looking at each other, others want to start a whole riot. They send death threats, cursing, calling others slurs, foaming at the mouth from anger and it's ridiculous!

Like don't they ever get tire of acting out like that? Isn't it exhausting to be so toxic? If you really hate something that much, do you really want to put all your energy into be that cruel to others?

Why not draw fanart of the ship you do like? Or write fics? Maybe go back and look at the content that is provided for your ship in canon?

Honestly, if BkDk makes you that mad... just drop the series completely. Just drop it. Give yourself a break.

To act so brutal to other people? That's not good for anybody, no one benefits from that.

In general, no matter who you ship, attacking others is NEVER okay.