#could be worse! could be better. but could be worse

[thepitlanepress]

UM WHO ARE YOU? –

↳ lando norris + fem!reader

⌗ :: masterlist

⌗ :: a/n: something lando while i work on the smau !! also black and white pics of lando>>> a warning tho the sleep deprivation kicked in at about halfway through

your friend was late.

again.

this was the seven hundredth time michael had been late this week alone. seriously, its like he did it on purpose. you had been standing in the restaurant's carpark for the last half an hour waiting on you ride home.

it's late, it's dark, you're cold and tired. boy was the asshole in for it when he showed up. how could he leave a you out here in these conditions? it was practically snowing.

eventually michael's car turns up and slows to a stop in the car park, you think its weird how he keeps rolling a bit while you try and grab the handle but its they way he is, always taking the piss out of you on a daily basis.

he stops shortly after and you yank the door open piling inside and berating him. "seriously dude? you're half an hour late and i have been dying to bed. its almost snowing outside and you just leave...me..."

thats not michael.

sitting in the drivers seat is lando norris? the world famous f1 driver? what is he doing at your restaurant? no no better question, why the hell are you in his car you dumbass?

"um, who are you?" he asks sitting there, a confused and suspicious look on his face, he probably thinks your some crazy fan, which doesn't help the situation you're in.

"oh my god, i am so sorry, i got in the wrong car, this isn't happening. i'm so sorry, i thought you were my friend, gosh im so-" you begin to say but cut yourself off when you start to ramble. instead collecting yourself and bracing for the cold when you open the door.

"wait," lando's voice stops you, your hand on the door, ready to leave. "you can stay in here until your friend arrives," he says smiling, there is still the edge in his voice, and thats understandable, but he's being kind and letting you stay in the warm at least.

"thank you," you smile and sit back in the seat relaxing and closing your eyes basking in the warmth of the car, and the smell of lando's cologne. its not your fault its the only thing that you can smell.

"so can i ask; what were you doing out there? its snowing and you have no coat on, thats not okay," he asks his voice drifting to you.

"my friend michael was supposed to pick me up, but evidently he was late," you answer, opening your tired eyes and sighing. "he's always late these days. this is like the third time this week i've had to wait for him for like an hour after work."

"you're telling me you spend half an hour to an hour waiting for this guy to come pick you up from work? and he's always late?"

you nod not bothering to defend michael right now, he's making you wait with a stranger for over an hour, the last thing he deserves is your defence.

"what a shithead."

an unexpected laugh rumbles from your throat. "that's michael for you."

"thats michael? seriously?" lando's brows furrow and he looks disgusted by even the thought of it. "he's not your friend."

"what?"

"that boy is not your friend. a real friend would be here in the carpark early warming up your seat for you, waiting with a coat. not showing up hours late to a-" he looks out his window. "closed restaurant. god it keeps getting worse."

you sigh quietly and shake your head, "i don't know what to do, i don't have a car and calling an uber is not my favourite thing at this time of night."

"give me your phone," lando says suddenly.

"what?"

"can i borrow your phone please?" he repeats.

"sure?" you say pulling it out of your pocket, unlocking it and handing it over to him.

he types something quickly and smiles before handing it over to you again. you look down and on the screen is a new contact "lando aka your new best friend"

despite the circumstances you laugh, "what's this for?"

"text me when you finish work each shift and i'll come pick you up."

"what?"

"i'll pick you up or have someone trusted pick you up at the end of your shifts," he says simply.

"why?" you ask bewildered by his kindness.

"because i'm your new best friend duh."

you smile and he grins back at you. "come on i'll drive you home," he says putting his seatbelt on and gesturing for you to do the same.

"thank you," you whisper.

the drive home lulls you to sleep. maybe it was the quiet hum of the radio, or the warmth of the car or the company. whatever it was it sent you to sleep quickly, with a smile on your face and your heart full, you made a new friend.

you never did ask lando why he was in the car park that night. and he never did tell you how he had overheard your friend shit talking and complaining about you at a random club before he ran off with some girl.

and he never did tell you about how he very nearly dropped everything to go pick up the mystery girl who was depending on the worlds biggest asshole.

he never told you,

not even when he got down on one knee or when he stood up in front of all of your friends with you in a white dress.

he never told you how he almost fell in love on the spot when you burst into his car and then profusely apologised when you realised you made a mistake.

he never told you.

but he always picked you up, no matter where or when, he was there.

2025 © thepitlanepress | please do not steal, use, translate or repost any of my works

– comments, likes and reblogs appreciated !

[petermorwood]

As someone who's also done some writing, this is all Extremely Sound Advice. :->

Here are a couple of point enhancements, and a rant about how a famous production torpedoed itself - IMO, anyway - by getting fixated on one of them

*****

(2) Head-hopping / POV change - think screen format and a change of camera angle. A "dinkus" (one or more asterisks, bullets or other symbol) between paragraphs is enough to indicate this, and you're good to go.

I do something similar in my own posts, including this one, though properly speaking the asterisks would be centred. I've done that with the next set, though since I've done the centring by inserting spaces, they may be well off-centre in other themes:

*****

(3) and (4) Treat info- and expo-dumps like pungent seasoning. Your recipe (story) needs them, but Not All In A Lump.

A good way to do this (the equivalent to "stir in gradually") is to combine them with other action - eating a meal, a walk-and-talk, watching some non-essential business like someone grooming a horse, washing a car, mowing a lawn etc., etc.

Intersperse the necessary dialogue of the info-expo with descriptions of and comments on the other business. If that business can be made relevant to the info-expo (comparisons, side-comments etc.) so much the better, but the point is to break up what can too easily be what TVTropes calls A Wall Of Text.

Thriller-writer Philip Kerr's later books are notorious for this: there are numerous instances where a character starts to talk ("Open Quotes") at the top of one page and - without interruption and sometimes even without paragraphs - doesn't finish ("Close Quotes") until halfway down the next.

Worse, the character is often reciting a chunk of background information from Kerr's research files which should have stayed there, or at the very least been pared down to its bare essentials as something a human being might say during a conversation with another human being.

Which Does Not Happen. :-P

*****

(8) about epithets, tackles something well-enough known that it has a TV Trope, "Burly Detective Syndrome". This has a cousin, "Said-Bookism", and no matter what you might have heard or indeed seen posted along with lists of sometimes-ridiculous alternatives on Tumblr, "said" is not dead.

It's alive, it's well and it's doing its job, which is to be the unobtrusive hook from which dialogue is hung. As I've said more than once, if a hook attracts more attention than the thing it's holding up, something's gone wrong.

*****

(10) If there's a scene that's likely to be fun to write, and another that's likely to be a slog, then if it works for your writing habits try to swap to and fro between the writing of them, with fun as a reward for slog.

If chop-and-change writing like this throws you off, then write the slog first and the fun after since once again, that's the reward, something to look forward to. Doing it the other way means you're looking at the slog to come, and that's not my idea of a reward.

Also, it can happen (personal experience) that after the refreshment of the fun, you'll come back to the first-draft slog bit and revise it into something better.

*****

I'd suggest (6) and (7) about subverting expectations - whether characters' or readers', and the one will become the other as reading happens - are something that need approached with care, and should always have a solid reason beyond (box tick) Not What They Expect.

Showing an unsubverted episode or incident - for instance the character's going-out preparations, or their commuting-home routine - is necessary, often more than once *, to establish Normality, so the character and reader are aware that This Time Is Different.

(* I've seen this done by cut-and-paste repeating the same description from one chapter into the next. It was imaginative and effective there, but could easily have tripped up on its own cleverness by seeming UNimaginative. YMMV.)

Why is the character including a concealed weapon in their party dress-up? Why is the character concerned they might be tailed during that commute? A comparison between ordinary and extraordinary is needed to show this doesn't happen every single time.

It's also a good way of racking up page-turning tension before invoking (5) that cliff-hanger chapter ending... :->

*****

And now the rant... :-p

Subverting expectations as a (box tick) action because it was So Effective That One Time is what transformed the final seasons of a once-popular fantasy adaptation into such a disappointment.

"Game of Thrones" is an excellent example of subverted expectations, such as the Red Wedding where - despite the way heroes are expected to escape at the last minute - a crapsack world like Westeros means bad things play all the way through to their bad conclusion.

*****

It's also an excellent example of how bad writing and a (box tick) attitude can lead to subversions that should have been left alone.

One instance is the way Jaime Lannister's redemption was abandoned "to subvert expectations" (box tick) complete with redemption-dismissive dialogue that was a slap in the face to several seasons of character development.

The lack of any hint or implication that such a thing was even possible suggests - to this viewer anyway - that it was no more than a (box tick) without additional thought as to whether it was logical in-story, as long as it generated yet another "Oh No, we didn't see that coming!" reaction from the audience.

(Of course nobody saw it coming, since neither plot requirement nor character development had any reason for it to happen.)

Sometimes a story should play out logically as a story because It's A Story, Not A Documentary. Terry Pratchett knew this and called it Narrativium, the element which drives stories. TV Tropes calls it The Theory of Narrative Causality.

Whatever the name, and however storytellers may tinker and tweak with it, they ignore its basic rules at their peril.

*****

Another example is Cersei's death.

When a writer as amiable as C.S. Lewis said:

"Let there be wicked kings and beheadings, battles and dungeons, giants and dragons, and let villains be soundly killed at the end..."

...just dropping a building on her without involving any of the many other High-Profile Characters she'd hurt throughout the series was ridiculous, especially with one of those High-Profile Characters already in the vicinity.

It may well have subverted expectations, but it was a lousy resolution.

It was also bad storytelling which abandoned at least one long-anticipated set-up (all too common in later GoT), and still vexes me since in a storyline filled with subversions for the sake of shock value, NOT subverting audience expectations but instead rewarding them with what they want (what they really, really want) becomes a subversion in itself.

*****

It's not hard to imagine more original and entertaining ways of bringing Cersei's pigeons home to roost, the most obvious being a fatal encounter with Arya-reFaced-as-Jaime.

This IMO would have been a much more satisfying use of her well-established Faceless Man sneakmurder skills than that no-setup leap from nowhere onto the Ice King, another Bad Guy built up to deserve a more spectacular termination than his you're-done-now-kthxbye demise.

Certainly after eight seasons of scheming, murder, cruelty - and infuriating smugness, oh yes, that too - having Cersei "soundly killed" should have involved something, anything, more conclusive, up-front and personal than a load of bricks landing on her head.

Subvert, yes. But not just for the sake of doing it.

*****

And as @writeblrfantasy concluded, no matter what way you're doing it, have fun in the doing of it...

my 10 holy grail pieces of writing advice for beginners

from an indie author who's published 4 books and written 20+, as well as 400k in fanfiction (who is also a professional beta reader who encounters the same issues in my clients' books over and over)

show don't tell is every bit as important as they say it is, no matter how sick you are of hearing about it. "the floor shifted beneath her feet" hits harder than "she felt sick with shock."

no head hopping. if you want to change pov mid scene, put a scene break. you can change it multiple times in the same scene! just put a break so your readers know you've changed pov.

if you have to infodump, do it through dialogue instead of exposition. your reader will feel like they're learning alongside the character, and it will flow naturally into your story.

never open your book with an exposition dump. instead, your opening scene should drop into the heart of the action with little to no context. raise questions to the reader and sprinkle in the answers bit by bit. let your reader discover the context slowly instead of holding their hand from the start. trust your reader; donn't overexplain the details. this is how you create a perfect hook.

every chapter should end on a cliffhanger. doesn't have to be major, can be as simple as ending a chapter mid conversation and picking it up immediately on the next one. tease your reader and make them need to turn the page.

every scene should subvert the character's expectations, as big as a plot twist or as small as a conversation having a surprising outcome. scenes that meet the character's expectations, such as a boring supply run, should be summarized.

arrive late and leave early to every scene. if you're character's at a party, open with them mid conversation instead of describing how they got dressed, left their house, arrived at the party, (because those things don't subvert their expectations). and when you're done with the reason for the scene is there, i.e. an important conversation, end it. once you've shown what you needed to show, get out, instead of describing your character commuting home (because it doesn't subvert expectations!)

epithets are the devil. "the blond man smiled--" you've lost me. use their name. use it often. don't be afraid of it. the reader won't get tired of it. it will serve you far better than epithets, especially if you have two people of the same pronouns interacting.

your character should always be working towards a goal, internal or external (i.e learning to love themself/killing the villain.) try to establish that goal as soon as possible in the reader's mind. the goal can change, the goal can evolve. as long as the reader knows the character isn't floating aimlessly through the world around them with no agency and no desire. that gets boring fast.

plan scenes that you know you'll have fun writing, instead of scenes that might seem cool in your head but you know you'll loathe every second of. besides the fact that your top priority in writing should be writing for only yourself and having fun, if you're just dragging through a scene you really hate, the scene will suffer for it, and readers can tell. the scenes i get the most praise on are always the scenes i had the most fun writing. an ideal outline shouldn't have parts that make you groan to look at. you'll thank yourself later.

happy writing :)

[meganegatari]

regret & saudade; loose threads ⭑.ᐟ

Made to attend a basement party in your heartbroken state, you come face to face with Ellie—your ex, the one you can’t forget. Tension lingers in every glance, every remark, as saudade thrums between you, a love lost but never gone. In the haze of liquor and longing, the night may unravel—and even reignite.

☆: this a collab with the loveliest of lovely people, @bloodstainedsapphic ♡ musing about this with you was the most fun thing ever, i don't know how i'll ever be able to express just how talented you are, and how thankful i am for all your contributions here!! ...i mean chat, all the credit goes to lyss. i'm serious!! thank you sm lyssbug, and i better see yall thanking her too!! hope y'all enjoy :) ellie's m.list.

◇: 18+ mdni. alcohol consumption, ellie’s a little mean (she's hurt), reader as well + tension, tension, and more tension. whiny sub!ellie x mouthy dom(ish)!reader, oral & nipple sucking (e! recieving), and she has hip tattoos lol. also contains angsty themes and a purposely ambiguous ending. ++ 3.6k word count.

Getting dragged out of bed for a basement party hosted by a friend of a friend was the last thing you wanted tonight. Yet, here you were, begrudgingly getting ready—much to your dismay—to indulge your friends’ wishes.

Parties weren’t exactly a common occurrence in Jackson, at least not ones that didn’t involve the community church. Hardly anyone bothered to put energy into organizing gatherings for the young folk to get drunk and act recklessly when survival took precedence. Still, once in a blue moon, someone made an effort, and word spread fast.

Yes, you understood why your friends insisted. They meant well. This was a rare chance, and they were worried about you, trying to pull you out of the misery pit you had plummeted into recently. Woe is you for having people who care, even if their grand solution included shuffling you into a crowded, musty room with cheap booze for a few hours.

But this was also the last party you wanted to be at for one crucial reason: your ex, Ellie, was bound to be there.

Your ex wasn’t any more of a party animal than you were, but you were sure the extroverted mutual friends who had adopted you both had undoubtedly coaxed her into going, just as they had with you.

There was simply no sugarcoating it. You had been drowning in the throes of heartbreak hell in the weeks since you and Ellie broke up. The decision itself was “mutual”—whatever the fuck that meant. Anyone with half-open eyes could recognize that unresolved feelings were lurking beneath the surface.

But still, you were somehow convinced that Ellie was coping with the heartache better than you. Mainly because you were managing it so terribly, it’d be difficult for her to be in worse shape. The thought of seeing her and proving your suspicions either way made your stomach churn.

Conjuring up the will to act like a functioning human for the night, you finally joined Hesse half a block away from the house and made your way over.

The space wasn’t anything special. Just another grungy basement, stuffy with age and ever-rotating crowds of partygoers. The wallpaper peeled, curling inward on itself, and the flooring was adorned with decades’ worth of spills and stains. A decent time hinged on the hope that everyone would get wasted enough to forget the unsavory details.

The liquor was crowdsourced—meaning passable but plentiful. Your beeline to the booze might have earned a few raised eyebrows, but you couldn’t be bothered to give a damn.

Ellie’s eyes found you just as you were taking in the low-lit room.

Already nestled in a corner and nursing her umpteenth drink, she was just intoxicated enough to sharpen her spite but not enough to embolden her to speak up—yet. You didn’t take long to find her either, carefully coordinating fleeting glances and using purposeful posturing to feign indifference.

Ellie tracked your every move, attentive to your every step and person you conversed with.

There was some mutual delusion: Ellie misread your avoidance as proof that you were doing just fine, and you misread her detachment in a similar vein. You both assumed the other was moving on when nothing could have been further from the truth.

Ellie had opted for a darker outfit than usual, all black, practically wearing the heartache on her sleeve. Her loosely buttoned cotton shirt hung amply off her frame, adding to her almost ghostly appearance. Her auburn hair, slicked back and muted, due for a wash, looked much less lively than it used to. The speckled ivy green of Ellie’s eyes had dulled, something far more monotone. Her undereye bags lay heavier, cheeks hollowed, a gauntness that was concerning for a girl already thin. Maybe you’d make a snide comment for Dina to pass on just to get her fed—not that you cared. You just didn’t like seeing the girl look like a husk of your Ellie- err, the one you used to know.

And—fuck. that necklace. It looked an awful lot like the one that had vanished from your nightstand months ago.

Wearing it was all but a confession of Ellie’s true feelings—that her apathy was merely a poorly executed act.

You slammed back the first drink too quickly, the burn hardly registering in your throat. The second glass didn’t fare any better. After a few more pours, the alcohol softened your edginess enough to lax you into joining conversations, to dance, to let your friends pull you into something resembling fun—even striking up idle chatter with a few pretty girls, acting as if it wasn’t just to dull the ache.

An indiscernible span of time passed, your focus clouding into a haze that lets you briefly forget the grievous weight in your chest, even if it didn’t wholly undo it.

Then, a brief yet audacious tap on your shoulder.

You already knew who it was from the distinct way her pointer fingers pressed into your skin.

“You’re out tonight?” Ellie bit out as a greeting, her suffering more pronounced now that she had closed the distance. Her stare, once dimmed, had reignited, brimming anew with an irate temper. Ellie wasn’t the jealous type, but the combination of alcohol and the sight of you mingling with other girls stirred something unfamiliar and ugly within her.

“I am. are you?” You asked snarkily, starting with the obvious of this tense reunion.

Ellie’s eyes twitched, brows furrowing. Your response went unappreciated but was understandably deserved. She wet her lips to buy another second before spitting out another question, too quickly to be casual.

“You come with anyone?”

Your eyes glossed over with irritation, this being the first conversation Ellie had dragged you into after weeks of silence. Her question seemed like a placeholder for everything else she wanted to say, though it came out too bluntly. The people you’d been distracting yourself with blurred into the background now that Ellie was here, her nerves showing with every crack in her composure.

“Nope,” you snipped. “You?”

“Nope,” she replied, exaggeratedly popping her lips at the ‘p’ sound. It sounded forced, like she was trying to make herself sound more confident than she felt.

Ellie shifted her weight onto one hip, her gaze raking a slow once-over of your form. Pretending she didn’t already have your every dip and curve memorized. Your eyes flicked across the room, grasping for any excuse to escape this friction, but naturally, the friends who had dragged you out tonight were suddenly nowhere to be found.

"Didn't know you were the type to move on so fast, getting cozy with a few girls over there..." Ellie remarked, her voice hung with bitterness, not even trying to hide her hurt there.

Your jaw clenched, miffed by the implication behind her words. "Dudn't know you were the type to care. Or even notice..."

“Pfft. I don’t. Just funny watching you act like you’re over it,” Ellie replied, trying to play it cool, but her voice cracked, betraying her defensiveness.

You narrowed your eyes. “That right?”

Ellie shrugged, drawing another lazy sip from her glass. “Yeah. s’cute, really. Watching you pretend.”

Your blood boiled at the way she said it, like she wasn’t just as much of a wreck as you. Like she hadn’t been staring at you all night.

“Ellie, you’re not cool enough to act like this-“ you rip into her with a sneer. You never pictured you’d speak to each other in such a way, but harshness felt like the only language you shared left, especially in tandem with her own cruel barbs.

Ellie’s tongue poked the inside of her cheek, a tell she’d never grown out of. The callout cut deep, knowing you still saw right through her. Ellie’s fingers started to tap the length of the glass, keeping a rhythm to compensate for the fidgeting she often did when nervous. Another tell she couldn’t hide.

“Yeah, okay,” her voice wavered, but then she turned her attention to finishing her glass swiftly, struggling to cling to that false bravado that was irking you past your breaking point.

“Ellie—” you spat her name venomously, shielding your sadness with anger. “If you have something you want to say, we can go somewhere else.”

Ellie’s cheeks roseated, the weight of you threatening her to put her money where her mouth is sinking in. The liquor had clearly obscured her foresight into the risks of confronting you so impudently.

Not letting Ellie another chance to deflect, you grabbed a fistful of her onyx-colored shirt sleeve and tugged her from the foggy crowd to an isolated corner, into a dark hallway, finally ducking into a cramped, dingy storage room long left unfinished. You shut the door. no working lock. Just great.

In the time you had fiddled with the old, janky handle, Ellie had already slipped back into the jaded facade she wore at the start of your encounter. The awkward, needy girl was buried deep, but not deep enough. The blush on her cheeks, the stutter in her words, the way her breath hitched when you got too close—proof enough she wasn’t as composed as she wanted you to think.

You just had to figure out how to crack her open.

Stepping closer, you caught that false smirk creeping back onto her lips. You wanted to smack that cheshire grin off her face, but the fragility you could see in her eyes—despite her best efforts to conceal it—only fueled your fire.

“You’re so goddamn frustrating,” you snap, voice raw with irritation. “Thought maybe for once you could talk to me like a normal person-or, imagine, like the girl you claimed to love-”

Ellie swallowed thickly as you came closer with every word. Hell, she looked so good, even in this state. The scent of alcohol on her breath, the sliver of skin peeking through the buttons of her top, the closeness of her rouge lips—it was causing the last of your composure to slip. Your heart raced as the room seemed to shrink, leaving only the two of you.

If words weren’t enough, maybe a more physical approach would crumble her defenses.

In that moment, a sly grin spread across your face. Time for a bit of mischief.

Nearly chest-to-chest, breaths merging together, you reach up and begin toying with the hem of Ellie’s cotton shirt, and descend to the gleaming buttons on her jeans. Right as you make contact, you hear her hiss out a sharp breath, the derisive edge in her voice sends a chill down your spine.

“Missed me that much, huh? You were always so impatient.” She clicks her tongue. But you knew Ellie, you knew this was all a “tough-guy” act. She was not going to let you get under her skin so easily, not without a fight.

The chuckle that passes your lips is a scornful sound, her ears perk up in curiosity as to what you're planning.

After a moment of wrestling with the skin-tight denim—she's free. Ellie takes the liberty to pull her shirt up a touch, and the mere sight of her dark, wisplike happy trail leaves your mouth watering. Your eyes flicker up to hers; keenly, expectantly scanning her delicate features.

Most unfortunately, Ellie returns nothing worth celebrating, her facade still clambering to stay mighty. Just observing, cool fern eyes low—almost kubrick-esque—everything still under control. For now.

You continue undressing her, undoing her shirt and exposing her pale torso. Fuck, what a specimen. Eggshell and cinnamon skin, soft and supple as far as the eye can see. The thin fabric clings to her shoulders, and you push it aside to look upon her chest.

Luckily for you, she doesn't believe in bras, letting her dusty pinkish nipples harden when the air grazes her skin. Ellie lets out the quietest sigh, almost inaudible, but you still catch it and throw her a smirk. Her eyes roll, she's still acting unimpressed.

“Keep going then,” she drawls.

You ghost your mouth over her skin, before taking her nipple in between your lips and sucking. You snake your tongue over the bud and gently pinch the other one with two fingers. Still determined to break her, you look up again. She makes no noise, just tilts her head back until it hits the wall supporting her with a dull thud. You had to do more, you needed to.

Moving to press hot kisses in the valley of her chest, you drag your mouth lower, lower, and lower, until you end up on your knees with her still-clothed crotch an inch from the tip of your nose. With her help, her jeans are discarded into a heap to your right. The tight boxer shorts she was wearing hugged her lean thighs in such a way, you couldn't resist lurching forward and sinking your teeth into the flesh.

Above, you hear something resembling a startled gasp—there you go, the beginning of the end.

Making quick work of her undergarment, Ellie leans against the wall, bare before you. You look up once more at her, but in the perfect moment in time to spot a scarlet flush spread from her chest, up her neck, and decorate her cheeks. There's a crease forming in her forehead as well. You spot her hip tattoos, the ink was striking. Running your tongue along the linework, you taste her skin—salty-sweet.

Simultaneously, you drag your hands up and down the sides of her legs, feeling goosebumps rise as you pass over. Her breaths quickly go shaky, her primal need for your mouth on the crescendo of her thighs overtaking her. Slowly but surely, you were achieving your goal.

“God Els, you're so wet. Seems like you missed me more, hmm?” You titter, voice smooth as syrup, to which she grunts almost in annoyance, neither confirming or denying your tease.

“Sure you weren't so desperate, you came here just for me? Because you wanted to get eaten like a slut?” You hear her exhale shake. Your degrading words—like clouds of miasma—infected her entirely, she didn't know whether to be embarrassed or even more turned on.

Fucking finally, your tongue parts her folds; silken and dripping for you. Smoothly moving forward in and pushing her thighs apart, you take more of her into your mouth. The taste of her arousal makes your head spin, and you don't even register the fact you're lightly moaning into her core already. You missed this. You missed her. You missed the feel of her hot skin, her signature Ellie attitude, her sweetness and how she reacted to your touch—even more than you'd like to admit.

Your eyes close instinctively, and you lick a stripe from her needy hole up to her puffy clit, feeling the bud twitch on your tongue. You wrap your lips around it, and she almost wails. Although Ellie, as clever as she is stubborn, stifles her whines with a clenched fist. When you hear the cut-off cry, your gaze snaps upward. she's biting down on her own flesh, hard, her teeth causing the knuckles to discolor. The blush on her cheeks is approaching maroon, obscuring her freckles, and her eyes are screwed shut. She can't hide the tremors or the panting breaths, though.

You keep devouring her, getting more and more drunk the longer her essence invigorates your senses. She pleads for you some more, albeit impolitely, “Hurry- ah—harder, more…”

Your grip on her hips intensifies, nails leaving marks right next to her tattoos, adding to the artistry already there. She begins to whimper, the small, pathetic sounds of an impending defeat causing heat to spread in your own abdomen.

You tongue fuck her into oblivion, pushing the muscle inside her until you feel her walls pulsing around you. Your nose bumps at her clit, eliciting high pitched pleas from her.

At a glance again, you see there's nothing hiding her mouth, and the hand that was aiding her has moved to join her other one—bracing against the wall. You had Ellie utterly wrecked.

She teeters, rickety legs trembling and struggling to hold her upright. A gush of slick runs down your chin, and she squeals. Unable to hold back any longer, she starts begging you to cum.

Her voice is strained, wobbly. “Please, fuck-!! Ah…c'mon…come onnn.”

Music to your ears.

Smiling against her thumping clit, you continue to suck until her rhythmic pants are all you can hear. The climbing volume was more satisfying than you could have ever envisioned and you never wanted to let up.

“Ah, ah, ah— m'so close, pleasepleaseplease.” She pleads with vehemence, damn near calling on divinity to finish. It was ironic really, there was nothing holy about this.

Her pussy seizes and her body tenses before she's hit with the most forceful orgasm she's ever felt. Silent moans choking in her throat, you messily lap at her folds until you feel the flutter, and hear the most beautiful cry of pleasure.

She's loud, unabashedly so, the pornographic nature of the scenario before you making your face grow hotter than the sun. You lick up every drop of warm cum from her, savoring both the ambrosial taste of her, and the sight of her coming undone like this.

Low groans and mumbles transition to high-pitched squeaks, a telltale sign you were entering overwhelming territory. She's sniveling, all semblance of composure long gone. Babbled cries ring through the small space, all she can muster falling out of her, “Fuck, fuck, shit..okay, hahhh—”

You dont let up and fuck her through her high until she shakes above you, seemingly brought to tears by the sensation. You drag your tongue through her folds one last time, just for the hell of it, and to solidify all this in your memory, before kneeling back to examine what you made of her.

Her chest was steadily rising and falling, she was leaning against that solitary wall, legs quaking and about to give, completely out of it.

The blissed out look on her face was ethereal, she was still so pretty. Through everything, you'd always find your way back—lost in those springlike, agate-ringed greens.

You jump up to her level and yank her towards you by her—your—necklace, making her jolt and snap out of the post-orgasm euphoria. Roughly, you crash your lips onto hers. Ellie’s lips part to let your tongue in, and a guttural moan rips out of her when she tastes herself on you.

You gingerly pull away, trying to ignore the ache in your heart that blossoms when you notice her chasing your lips.

The pair of you are winded and still looking at each other with saucer-wide eyes, the intensity of what you did catching up to you as the bliss wore off. Automatically, you reach to hold her hand, but she pulls away and avoids your sympathetic stare. She looks up and down, side to side, pretending to be interested in the peeling wall behind her.

Seeing her uneasiness, you clear your throat. “Ellie, um…you okay?” Your voice is mellow and gentle, the complete opposite of what it sounded like earlier.

Ellie sighs and briskly nods, brushing any and all concern away. She meets your eyes, and you notice the vibrant green dulled once again—almost appearing gray, like wilted leaves amidst a drought.

Her expression was hard to read. Her cheeks are flushed and her skin is glossy, indicating physical satisfaction, but there was a certain longing there too. The way she fidgeted with her fingers, the way she pursed her lips ever so slightly—she misses you.

You absentmindedly begin to collect yourself, wiping the remnants of her from the lower half of your face, all while readjusting your shirt. You turn towards her, buttoning up Ellie's shirt and straightening the collar—you give her a meek smile when she lets you fix her up, both of you unsure of what to say. The air feels odd, not quite heavy, but cold. “Let's go back, play it cool.” You chuckle and attempt to crack a joke to lighten the awkward mood. Ellie simply huffs.

Accepting that it’s time to snap back to reality. You breathe in a sharp breath to compose and ground yourself. “I miss you, come back to me", was sitting just behind your teeth, but you steeled yourself and pushed those old feelings away.

It was too soon to unpack anything right now. Not to mention both of you still being drunk—in more ways than one.

Ellie starts, “We should leave separately, y'know, so no one suspects anything.”

“Oh for sure, yeah. Go- go, before everyone starts asking questions-“ you usher Ellie out with an instinctive hand pressed to her back, all but throwing her out of that cramped, now-suffocating space for the sake of avoiding becoming the town’s gossip. In Jackson, rumors tended to spread faster than a wildfire.

Ellie left, and you were all alone in the space. Your body's framework crumples weakly against a corner, overcome with emotion. You couldn't help but reminisce—silently lamenting for her in the dim, stuffy room.

But there was still a party going on, if you stayed in there any longer, it would become suspicious rather fast. You push thoughts of Ellie away into the abyss where you made sure the padlock was not planning on breaking. You threw the key away, but for good this time, you vowed to yourself.

Ellie had likely whisked herself away into the kitchen to get a light snack—you remembered that sex always made her hungry afterward.

You hear a familiar song start playing from the main room, something you could try to sway along to and you put on a faint smile—as genuine as you could muster, hoping to rejoin conversations as casually as you had left them. You slip out of the small storage space, closing the door behind you, hoping it’s not symbolic of where things stand with Ellie.

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[arinrowan]

The thing you have to remember about PTSD is that it's never just the traumatic event. Everyone across their lifetime will experience some degree of trauma. What makes someone susceptible to PTSD is the inability to connect with a support network and community about the trauma. Shame and isolation are as crucial to the formation of PTSD as the initial traumas. Talk to anyone with PTSD and one of the first things they'll do is downplay their trauma and emphasize how much worse it could have been. This is the shame speaking, an internalized shame from the idea their community expected them to be better, be stronger, be less vulnerable. This shame, ironically, is the same thing that prevented the individual from asking or receiving the support they needed in the wake of trauma that resulted in the formation of PTSD, and what has to be targeted in order for the individual to process the unresolved trauma now encapsulated by shame.

[yanderedrabbles]

What's the worst thing Yan Military Contractor has ever done to the reader?

Yandere! Military Contractor

The very worst? Now that's tough competition. He's fucked you raw so many times that afterwards you can only curl up and whimper, legs aching so bad you can't stand. He's bitten you so hard that he's left a scar of his teeth on your thigh. He's bent your arm so very far up your back that on bad days your shoulder still aches. He's done anal without any prep or lube.

But the very worst? That happened on the day you almost escaped.

He likes to humour you. Likes letting you try and get away, just to drag you back at the last second. Likes the way you fight so much harder when freedom is so very close. But he never once entertained the thought of you actually succeeding.

You're too damn clever sometimes. Too smart for your own good.

You planned your escape carefully this time. Waited for a rainy day when he'd have trouble hearing your footsteps and seeing your tracks. Managed to make a mess in his armory and get out of a second story window when he was distracted counting his guns. And then you ran.

You saw a tree out on your forced walks once. Thick oak with branches that just about reached over the fence. It would be a hard fall, but if you managed to not snap an ankle you'd be home free.

He almost found you. You were up in the branches, rain pelting you in thick sheets when he walked right under you. It was pure luck that you noticed him in time. Even without the noise of the rain to cover his footsteps, he was dead silent.

He looked pissed. But that wasn't what made your heart drop.

He had his gun with him. Not one of the rifles or shotguns. That might have almost been better. Those guns felt unreal, felt like something out of a movie. No, he was carrying his chrome .50 calibre Desert Eagle.

You hated that gun. It was the one he carried on him almost all the time, the one he had the day he took you. Huge, mean looking thing. 'One of the nastiest shots you'll ever see,' he told you once.

It was scratched with years of use. A soldier's gun. A killer's gun.

You fingers went numb on the branch before you had the courage to keep moving. You dropped down on the other side of the electric fence, landing bad. You smacked a hand over your mouth to stifle your yelp.

Staggered to your feet, holding onto the trees to take the pressure off your stinging ankles. You did it.

You actually fucking did it.

You were free. Actually, finally free. You half didn't believe it until you reached the end of the trees and open farm land stretched in front of you. The rain was so much worse without the trees to protect you, but you didn't care. An empty field of wheat had never looked so damn good.

"On your knees."

You froze. No. No.

"I said, get on your fucking knees!"

You sat so fast that you felt lightheaded.

He came to stand in front of you, blocked your view of the open land and your last chance to escape. He was scowling, hand gripping his gun so tight that veins were standing out on his forearm.

The rain was sheeting down around you, running past the grooves and catches of his pistol. You couldn't see his face through the rain, but you could feel his eyes. Raking down your body, burning.

He pointed the gun at you, cocked it. The metallic sound of it somehow the loudest thing you'd ever heard.

"Open your mouth."

"I'm sorry! Please just-"

"Open. Your. Mouth."

You did. He forced the barrel passed your lips, all the way to the back of your throat. Your teeth scraped the metal.

It tasted bitter. Iron, gunpowder. It tasted like your death.

His finger was on the trigger. One little twitch, one inopportune gag, and you were done.

"Suck it."

You did, crying so damn hard but terrified to make a sound.

"No," he snarled. "Suck it like you would a cock."

He grabbed your hair, yanked your head back. "Show me why I shouldn't kill you right here and now. Remind me exactly why I keep you around."

You sucked his gun like your life depended on it. Tongue out, drooling, like you weren't a hairs breadth from death. Looked up at him with rain and tears pouring down your face.

You must have given him one hell of a show. When you couldn't take it anymore, when you were shaking from the cold and your lips were turning blue around the metal, that's when he pulled out. One hand still in your hair, he pointed the gun at the sky and pulled the trigger. The gunshot echoed over the trees.

Fuck. You really did just have a loaded gun in your mouth.

He holstered it, grabbed your jaw with the hand that just held your death.

"Never again. Yeah?"

"Yeah."

[fanged-fanfics]

hey broski! I hope you don't mind, requesting

Pure Vanilla/Shadow Milk x Sorcerer! Eldritch Magic User!Reader, Oneshot if you can :) Their gender is whatever, They/Them

Reader was Pure Vanilla's assistant or bodyguard like Wild berry, and they weren't from vanilla kingdom, but they worked as Pure Vanilla's and tries to fit in, they have a special abilities(Doctor Strange's magic bcuz yes, also bonus if they used to be non-magic cookie) They're mature and responsible.

Reader was a older sibling/Parent-figure to Gingerbrave's friends.

They all visit to Beast Yeast together and yeah, I don't know. You can add and go crazy. Thank you!

☆ A Stroll Into Town — Pure Vanilla and Shadow Milk (seperate) x Bodyguard!Reader ☆

Genre: Fluff || they/them pronouns for reader || No warnings needed

──────.𖥔 ݁ ˖˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ──────

You walked dutifully along Pure Vanilla, a contained Shadow Milk being dragged behind you both. While the deceitful beast was passive, you'd decided it had been far too long since visiting your friend Gingerbrave. He'd attempted to write you a few times to tell of his adventures, and you missed seeing him in person. "We'll be coming up in just a moment, I think" Pure Vanilla said through the silence. Shadow Milk struggled against the restraints you had him in "I'm so BOOOOREEDD!! Can't I have a little break? I'm gonna crumble away at this rate!" He cried.

You spun around, pointing your sword in his direction "Quiet. You will be detained when the time calls for it". Shadow Milk didn't seem deterred, and he blew a raspberry in your direction. You leaned back with an unamused look, Pure Vanilla patting your shoulder. "Patience, my knight. He'll have his due time". You grumbled, but gave an obedient nod, walking forwards and dragging the fallen beast once more.

You soon entered through a thick patch of trees, peering into a building Kingdom on the other side. Many Sugar Gnomes flooded the place, building stones up with shovels and saws to make the walls. You walked in perfect tandem with Pure Vanilla, and a familiar Cookie turned to see you, his blue eyes shining with excitement. The next thing you knew, you were being tackled to the ground in a hug. "YOU MADE IT!!! The castle is being rebuilt right now, but I'm SOSOSO happy you're here!" Gingerbrave exclaimed brightly.

You grunted while sitting up, patting the shoulder of the crushing hold you were in "Wouldn't miss it for all of Earthbread. Now let me breathe-" you replied. Gingerbrave pulled back "Oh- sorry! I've been getting so strong recently" he said, grinning as he flexed one of his thin crispy arms "Must be all that adventuring". You smiled, chuckling a little "I'm sure. But I bet you still couldn't beat me". "Oh yeah? I bet I could!" Gingerbrave shot back confidently.

You glanced up to Pure Vanilla, who was smiling warmly at seeing you so relaxed. He gave an approving nod, and you stood, facing your now-opponent "Come on, let's put it to the test" you said. Gingerbrave got a running start, causing you to chase after him. Meanwhile, Pure Vanilla positioned Shadow Milk onto a nearby bench. The beast was still grumbling, practically pouting now "This is what we came here for? Ugh, you're making me think a jailcell would've been a better option"

"On the contrary, this is exactly the kind of exposure you need" Pure Vanilla said, taking a seat nearby. When Shadow Milk glared at him in confusion, he went on, "Look around, Shadow Milk. All these Cookies coming together to build something great. Not just a kingdom, but a home. Even our dear knight can't help but join in". He turned his eye staff to the Cookies running about, using it to see the scenery "They're family, friends, comrades. It's everything you need to learn"

"BOOORRIIINNNG" Shadow Milk interrupted, leaning back in his seat "Sheesh, and just when I wanted to think you couldn't get any worse, you bring out the friendship speech. Give it a rest, you fool". Pure Vanilla just gave a shrug. He was always irritated with Shadow Milk, but it wasn't in his nature to lash out or snap. Not after that first time... he focused on his deep breathing instead, finding comfort in watching you battle with your pals.

Shadow Milk rolled his eyes, but found his gaze going to the same area. You looked so carefree out there. So unapologetically yourself. Just you, the sun beaming down, and the thrill of battle. He didn't remember a time where he ever saw you look happier. Maybe there could be something there.. a spot carved out in the earth for something even as vile as him. Maybe a spot right beside you, if he wanted to really hope. But he shoved the thought back down when remembering the scowl you always fixed him with. It was stupid to get his hopes up, he figured. But for now, he was drawn to your form, awestruck by you, and he felt no need to look away.

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

Ludos Imperiales 9

Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is a little shorter than usual, I've been sick in bed for a good couple of days and didn't have as much time to write as usual.

Content Warnings: Talk of Depression/Depressive Episodes; Reader Gets Drugged.

----------------------

The Trajan Markets are the pinnacle of growth and development in the Capital, a sign the people said that the Gods favored us above all others. No other province grew as ours does. No other nation boasted such booms in business that a five story building need be built for the sole purpose of selling goods. Our streets have become too crowded, markets overflowing with buyers and sellers until the roads clog and the city becomes too rowdy during peak times of the day. There are other Markets in the city of course, but none as grand as Trajan.

None as easy to hide in as Trajan. 

I keep my hood pulled up over my face, a full basket in one hand, the other tapping anxiously along the hilt of the dagger strapped to my thigh. The crowds are heavy, the summer air thick with the smell of sweat and incense and the roasted meat from the food stalls. The heavy din of haggling and bartering makes the pounding of my heart sound far more dull than it had on the crazed dash I’d made to get here. Ditching the Guard to come out had been a challenge; dodging Anise a military feat I think might have made even Cassian proud. Not that Cassian knew I’d left. Or any of my mates for that matter. They would be too recognizable in this crowd; as is I feel like eyes watch my every move. This needs to be quick.

My list of supplies is half scratched off, just a few more pieces of armor and a couple more custom weapons and my mates will be well protected for their next match. I’ve all but thrown myself into the task, as if the extra effort will make the difference in the arena. As if the extra bit of leather might be the very thing that ensures they return to me afterwards.

I try to shake off the pressure driving into my chest like a spike. The Games are tomorrow. I’d chosen Kallias’s Orc for their opponent via a letter--Father hadn’t spoken to me directly since the Council meeting two days ago. I suppose that means Eris has kept his word thus far, but the silence makes time stretch out like a bad dream. I’ve spent nearly every waking moment watching the windows, waiting for the worst to happen.

Abandoning one booth, I move to another, fingers skimming over metal and leather chestpieces alike. All too thin. Too hollow. Orc’s favor axes, they need something that can withstand multiple blows. 

The next shop is too flashy. Too many Imperial colors. My stomach turns at the thought of seeing Rhys in Imperial gold. 

I dodge a squad of the Praetorian, they’ve been doing routine sweeps through the city more frequently since the parade. Perhaps it’s just Father’s paranoia, but there is a small piece of me that dares to hope that there was some sympathy in the crowd, that someone, somewhere in this damned city felt as horrified as moved to action as I was. 

I keep my hood drawn a little lower over my face as I move to the next level. This would be easier if I could have brought them along, no need to constantly double check the scribble of measurements I’d had the tailor make. They could pick what would be most comfortable for themselves, and I’d feel better about sending them off in it, at least they knew what they were doing. But the risk was too great. And worse, I’m a terrible coward.

I haven’t so much as looked at Azriel since the Council Meeting. I’d forced myself to climb into my empty bed and not use the secret tunnels. I’d found anything and everything to keep myself busy the next day. Not because I didn’t want to see him, or any of them, but because I couldn’t bear the waiting. The countdown to the next match had started like a death null in the back of my head. I can’t bring myself to be selfish and sit there with them when there are things within my power to do to save them. It’s not right that I will sit in my cushy booth with a drink while they fight for their lives. I have to give them a fighting chance. I have to do more than last time.

I have to ensure they get back alive. We will have time to work out what we want from each other when this is over. When I can ensure my heart won’t shatter into a million unfixable pieces if something happens.

I give myself a little shake as I skirt past food stalls swarming with several families of Sprites. Trajan, unlike many of the markets on the Square, is full of all sorts of creatures: Trolls and Goblins pull carts of wares down the aisles and up the stairs to the top levels. Pixies and Sprites flit about in the open air, directing traffic. Nephilim with their feathered wings tucked tight shop with Humans and Elves. We are all just shoppers here, none of the Empire’s prejudice to separate us. None of it’s cruelty to turn us on each other. This is how it should be. Tomorrow we will be in the Arena again. The crowds will be different. The atmosphere will be different. It will not be so peaceful.

My next stop is a merchant shop boasting the best armor in the Empire. This will be the third shop with that sign, I don’t have high hopes, but I cannot leave until I’ve searched every shop, exhausted every outlet. 

My fingers trace over the plated armor, shaped like scales. The design is well made, but the material… I tap a knuckle against it and hear a dull, hollow echo. Too thin. The next stall, boasts the best greaves and manicas. The extra padding of a sleeve will be useful, and the dark leather, layered like scales would look good on them. I buy three, one for each and add them to my basket before moving on.

A small cart selling ribbons momentarily halts my search, the colors vibrant and blowing softly in the breeze that drifts through the open market windows. I run my fingers over a violet thread, the same shade as Rhys’s eyes. 

“That’s a pretty color!” The merchant woman, a human I think, but her ears are tucked under a multicolored head scarf, calls out from the worn stool she sits atop.

If we were normal, I’d braid the ribbon into my hair, boast Rhys’s colors with a bit of black thread for everyone to see. A pang of longing hits me in the chest; we will never be normal people, not while the Empire stands. I’ll go to the Games tomorrow in white and gold to match my Father.

“It is,” my voice shakes as I remove the ribbon from the hook. I shouldn’t. I should be practical. It’s a waist of coin, I can’t wear it anyway. Still… 

“We’re having a sale,” the merchant continues. “Three for the price of one!”

The irony makes a laugh bubble out of me. Of course it would be three.

A cobalt one draws my eye next, then a bright red one. Before I can think twice about it, I’ve taken them off the hooks too.

“For anyone special?” She asks as I fish some coins from my purse.

“Of course,” I reply, but I don’t give her any more of an explanation.

The merchant pats my hand affectionately as she passes my change back, a knowing smile on her lips. I tuck the ribbon into the pocket of my cloak that sits over my heart; they’ll be another secret dream, meant for a girl less duty bound as me, but I cannot stop myself from hoping for a chance to one day wear them. 

“I hope they bring your lover luck,” the merchant says in farewell.

A shiver of anticipation runs down my spine; they’ll certainly need it.

--

It had taken hours, but I finally found suitable armor on the fifth floor of the market. Upon sneaking back into the House, I’d left the supplies with the tailor and instructed that she take it to our guests. If the Guard were to ask where she’d gotten it, she’d been instructed to say she’d picked it up in town on her last visit and had just finished adjusting the straps and various ties up until now. A ruse that should be believable and hopefully not be looked into too deeply. I was curious to see what they thought about my decisions, but bringing it in myself felt like it would draw too much attention, so I schemed as best I could and busied myself by going back to the Temple to make some offerings for tomorrow. 

I doubt there is enough bronze in the Empire to sway Fortuna, but that doesn’t stop me from offering my sacrifices all the same. 

Victoria’s altar gets more than its fair share of bull’s blood and wine; I’ve burned so much incense the warm spice mixture feels like it’s seeping into my skin. 

But while my offerings to Luck and Victory may look extreme to the priestesses, they are small in comparison to the blood I spill for the Mother. My nightly prayers have felt feeble and unheard, I remain at the altar far longer than necessary, whispering in Latin for as long as I can before people start asking questions. 

By the time I’ve finished, the afternoon heat is settling into a warm evening wind. I gather my spinning thoughts and head to the kitchens to give Cook instructions for our guests' nightly meal. It takes more than a few coins to bribe him into making enough food for a feast and then sending all of it to the guest wing, along with far more deserts than probably necessary. 

Everything today has probably been a little more than necessary, truth be told,  but I have to do everything in my power to help. I have to tell myself it’s enough. That I’ve exhausted every outlet, covered every angle, left nothing to chance. I won’t sleep tonight as is, but it’ll be worse if I cannot find some way to convince myself that I helped. 

I’m so busy directing plates this way and that I don’t even stop to consider that I haven’t eaten today until Anise grabs me by the elbow. With a couple plates in hand, she all but drags me into the triclinium to eat, despite my protest. There is still so much I need to do! 

“Sit!” The plate clangs against the table. 

The formal dining room has been empty for months. I’ve been eating my meals in my room for one reason or another. She throws open a dust covered curtain with a huff, letting in the last few glimmers of sunlight. 

“You’re pale as a fucking spirit!” She hisses at me. Her gnarled hands strike a match and light a few candles along the forlorn tables, her own plate sitting untouched next to me as she fusses over the room. 

“Probably high off incense too,” she grumbles.

I place my elbows on the table and brace my face in my hands so I can rub my temples. There’s that stash of mirthroot in my bedside table I’d purchased to trick my Father and I’m tempted to use a little bit of it, just to calm my nerves. 

“Do my prayers bother you all of a sudden, Anise?”

She leaves for a moment and returns with a bottle of wine and two glasses. Glaring in my direction, she fills the first glass to the brim and chugs the entire thing before pouring a second, less generous portion into her glass. “Your reasons more so.”

I grab a fork and stab at a piece of roast chicken. “Do we need to do this tonight?”

She pushes a glass my way as she weighs the bottle in hand, debating if her second glass is really full enough to deal with me tonight. 

My eyes fix on the door to the kitchens, where the shadows from the other room make it obvious that some of the staff are listening behind the door. This is not the time or the place. My nerves feel absolutely shot. I run my fingers absently over my ribs, where I feel a burst of power flittering around my lungs, like it just might bubble out and spill from my throat.

“You’ve scarcely made yourself available for it any other time,” she snaps.

I sip the wine and tear into a loaf of bread, swirling it around in the red sauce next to my plate, trying to find ways to swallow down my powers before they hurt someone. Or blow out the window. “For months and months you’ve harassed me about never leaving the house and suddenly it’s become a problem?”

She slams her palms down on the table as she lowers herself into the bench seat. “You were drowning!” Her voice is so loud I can hear the staff listening at the door jump back in surprise.

“Do you know what it was like? Watching you get swallowed up by your grief? It was like watching you be hollowed out, turned into this shell that didn’t care if the world around her caught fire. You were empty and broken, a ghost of a person.”

“I know,” I nod, shifting vegetables around on my plate until they turn to mush in the sauce. 

“I couldn’t reach you,” her breath stutters out of her and I look away so I don’t see her cry. “Nothing I said worked! Nothing got through to you. Sending you out to watch the Games…”

I use the wine to try and dislodge the lump forming in my throat. She’s the only real family I have left and I know that all this secrecy has hurt her, but I can’t let her in now. She can only know what’s necessary. If something were to happen to her because I’d told her the truth, I’d never forgive myself.

“I knew you hated them. You’d always come back crying as a child. They’re brutal and bloody and…” She pauses to gulp down more wine. “I thought it would wake you up. That seeing all that death might… might convince you that you still wanted to live.”

She’d been right of course, she always is, just not for the same reasons she’d thought. Her actions had pushed me right onto this path; given me a reason to hold on, to fight. 

“It did, Anise,” I start.

“Did it?” She cuts in. “Because this looks a Hel of a lot like self-sabotage to me! Do you have any idea what they’re saying about you in the Capital? What the staff whisper about when you leave the room?”

“You’re the one that’s been pouring contraceptive tea down my throat, I think I can guess.”

Her weathered palm hits the table again, rattling the glasses. “This is not a joke! They kill people for rumors like this! They’ve already tried to do so! Doesn’t that bother you, even a little?”

Truth be told, that Raven has felt like the least of my worries these last few days. 

My gaze flicks to the partially open door; how many of the staff will report this conversation to my Father? How many will go into town for one reason or another and gossip in the markets over this little spat? I have to be extremely careful about what I say next. 

“Of course it does,” I say slowly. 

“Then you know what you have to do to make this right.”

“I’m doing everything that has been asked of me-”

“That’s not what I mean!” She hisses, emerald eyes flashing. “Get rid of them!”

The room spins. Candlelight flickering. The window rattles; table bouncing off the floor. It takes far longer than it should for me to realize that it’s my doing. Dark clouds of ether seep from my skin, slithering out from under the soles of my feet like snakes--like Azriel’s shadows.

Anise gapes at me as more and more pours from my skin, filling the room. 

Shit! I draw in a shaky breath and hurriedly pull it all back beneath my skin, until there’s not a drop of it left in the room. The bond is a roaring, living thing in my chest, bashing against my rib cage, filling up my lungs with the acrid scent of smoke. I drown it out with another big gulp of wine while Anise gapes at me like I’ve grown a second head. It has never been that bad before.

I swallow hard and push away from the table. “They’re not going anywhere!” My voice doesn’t sound like my own, the growling a deep rumble from within my chest. I rub absently at the spot where the tension feels the greatest, even as I storm from the room. 

Anise doesn’t follow, and the staff scatter out of my way as I sweep throw the kitchen in a huff. How dare she demand I send my mates away! They’re mine to protect! Mine to care for! 

Mine.

Darkness trails out from behind me like a scarf, billowing and snapping from where it seeps out of my back. The bond will not quiet, will not stop bashing itself against my insides at the mere thought of being separated from them. 

I all but sprint down the hall, looking for somewhere to expel all this energy. Now is not the time to lose control! I have too many things to do before the morning to worry about this new found lack of control. 

I make it to the safe room, tucked behind a bookshelf in the library, and rip the key that always hangs around my neck off. My hands tremble as more darkness loops round and round my hands. My breath rasps out of me, chest heaving; I can’t get air in fast enough. 

By some miracle, I manage to wrangle the key into the lock and force my way inside before I explode entirely. Darkness, empty and cold and unyielding flies in every direction, until there is no longer light in the room. Until there is nothing but shadow. I surrender myself to it; let it fill and empty itself from every orifice until I no longer exist as I am. There is only darkness. Endless void. Nothingness. The room is inlaid with gorsian stone, so that no outside force could feel the power that escapes me. Mother says she built it in case I needed to hide from the outside world, but I have always known the truth: She built it in case she’d needed to hide the outside world from me.

If this is an indication of the sort of possessive intensity I’m capable of, maybe she was right to do so. 

I’m not sure I closed the door. Blindly, I reach out a tendril of power and ensure it's sealed before I let myself sink back into the nothingness. Let everything that is dark and ugly and cold pour out of me like water. It feels as if it might never stop coming out of me; more and more flows like the breaking of a damn.

Until I hear an ominous crack.

The sound in the emptiness pulls me back from the edge and I count down from ten to try and reign my power back in. 

Another crack follows, the sound like stone crumbling.

I have to blindly find the door to let out the cloud of darkness that fills the room and find a lantern. Once it’s lit, I find myself gaping up at the ceiling, where my power had not only splintered the heavy layer of concrete, but the gorsian stone as well. The greenish metal splinters in the shape of a lightning bolt as the concrete crumbles and falls away from the roof, littering the floor with debris.

“Shit,” I whisper to no one in particular. 

I run back out into the library to grab a chair so I can get a hand on the roof and further inspect the damage. It’s a deep cut, about three inches through the gorsian stone. Not all the way through the other side but enough that I can feel the waning power. The stone is built to absorb and hold power, with a crack like that, it releases into the air like vapor. A clean crack all the way through might very well make the whole room as un-warded and unprotected as another other room.

And there’s nobody who can fix it.

I climb down from the chair with a shudder. No one can know about this. The room itself has always been a closely guarded secret, but if anyone were to see what I had done, what I was truly capable of, forget the mating bond damning me, my powers would ensure my head rolled from my shoulders. Power like that cannot exist within the Empire.

I drag the chair out and lock the door behind me. This place will have to remain a tomb; just another secret to add to my ever growing list. 

I place the chair back at the proper table and go to turn off the lamp when it hits me. If I can crack this stone, can I do it with all of them?

My fingers trail absently over my throat as the idea mulls around in my head. Could I hone it just enough that I could be capable of cracking, say a collar?

The house is dark and quiet. I’d spent a lot longer there than I‘d thought! I rush through the now quiet kitchen, nothing left but a few dirty dishes for the morning, and slip into the cellar. Maybe this could be the edge I’d prayed for! Maybe Fortuna had accepted my offerings!

I can’t get the secret door open fast enough, my hands shaking again, but this time from excitement. I could save them! If done right, the collar wouldn’t be an issue, they could fight freely.

I should have brought a light with me. I’d be a liar if I said I was a little disappointed that the other end of the tunnel isn’t already open and none of them are waiting for me on the other end, but I guess can’t really fault them. I haven’t exactly given the impression I’d be coming around any time soon. 

I fumble for a few minutes to find the lock, pausing briefly to press my ear to the door to listen for signs that it’s even safe for me to do so. None of the vents have picked up any conversation, which is odd now that I think about it. Have they already gone to sleep?

I turn the lock gently. They do need as much rest as they can get, but if I can give them this advantage, maybe this will be the last time in the Pit they ever have to have. Maybe we can turn things around from here. I have to try.

The door groans when it opens, ominous in the stillness. All the lights are off, the curtains drawn so not even a sliver of moonlight can filter through. 

Strange…

I tap at the bond. There’s no sounds of Cassian’s snores. And the thing in my chest is… quiet.

I pick my way carefully over to the room they’ve crammed all their beds in. The door is shut, the metal of the handle cold like it hasn’t been touched in awhile. My heartbeat is a clanging drum in my ears as I turn the knob and push the door open.

It feels like an eternity for the hinges to turn, for the room to come into view. My heart plummets into my stomach, every second of the drop a free fall into the depths of an abyss. The room is empty. 

Every room is empty. I check each in a panic, tugging incessantly at the bond but there is only quiet. 

This can’t be happening!

I was so close! I was going to be able to fix this! 

Footsteps sound down the open tunnel and for a moment the swell of hope threatens to overwhelm me. They’re fine. They’re fine. They’re-

Anise appears in the doorway, frowning. 

Just like that, my hope deflates. My legs wobble and I have to brace myself against the base of the statue of the Mother. “Anise, where are they?”

She closes the door behind her, emerald eyes shifting around like she expects some great beast to pop out and devour us. “The Guard came.”

Panic sweeps through me like a title wave, so intense my fingers live indents in the metal base of the statue. “What did you do?”

She huffs at me, offended. “I hadn’t decided what I was going to do yet, since you no longer are capable of seeing reason, but…” she shrugs, “the decision was made for me. The Emperor has declared that no sponsored champions should spend the night before a match anywhere but the Arena’s barracks. To ensure no outside tampering with the gladiators, of course.”

The room flips end over end and it’s a fight just to get enough air in my lungs. No! No! No! This can’t be happening!

“They’ll be returned to you, if they win.”

“Anise,” I don’t know what I mean to say, what I mean to beg for. I have to see them! I have to finish what I came here to do!

“This will be good for you,” she insists. “This obsession of yours is unhealthy. You need to start tomorrow with a clear head.”

“I need to see them!” I choke out.

“The morning will come soon enough. It’s best if you put it out of your mind and get some rest.”

Rest? They stole my mates! The statue rattles beneath my hands as my control weans again. I have to get them back! I have to-

Something pricks the back of my neck as Anise comes around the side of me, her weathered hand outstretched. 

“I’m sorry, my dear,” she says gently. “I told your Mother it would never come to this, that I would never need to use it. You’ve always had such exceptional self-control, even as a child. It seemed silly that she’d had such precautions, but now…”

It feels like flames beneath my skin, fire shooting up my veins, consuming every lick of power it can find. A hand like a vice clamps itself around the beast that lives in my chest and squeezes so tight my knees give out and I fall like a penitent sinner at the base of the altar.

“Anise-” I choke out.

“It’s just a little faebane, to help with the control. It’ll help you sleep.”

NO!

My body curls up on itself as the burning intensifies. She bends, her old knees popping, to pat my head. “I know you don’t believe me, but I am doing this for your own good.”

Tears prick my eyes as they roll down my cheeks. I don’t know if they’re for me, or my mates. 

Anise wipes them away, making shushing noises like she used to do when I was a child with a scraped knee. “I promised your Mother I’d never let anything happen to you.” She coos. “You’ll thank me in the morning.”

Spots swim across my vision and I thrash my head, trying to fight them off, but it’s useless. The faebane continues to course through me like a wildfire, burning all resistance in it’s path until my limbs go limp and the darkness inside me snuffs out. Worse, the bond, fragile as it is, shrivels further, until it is a hollow, empty echo. I can’t even feel them on the other end.

“Please,” I whimper. “Please, make it stop, Anise!”

She strokes her hands through my hair, humming a lullaby she used to sing me to sleep with, as if this is normal. As if I’m still a child too scared of the dark to sleep. The spots that swim across my vision grow bigger and bigger. I can’t move my limbs enough to struggle, can’t even turn my head.

The chill of the tile seeps through my skirts as my erratic breathing starts to calm, heart rate slowing.

“There you go,” she coaxes. “Stop fighting it.”

“Please,” the word sounds garbled; feels strange in my mouth, my tongue not quite forming the letters.

“Sshhh.”

The spots consume me, darkness yet again filling my vision, but this time it pulls me under as I lose the battle against it.

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Chapters 1/2/3/4/5/6/ 7/ 8

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Tag List: @sirenpearldust, @saltedcoffeescotch, @littlemissfix-itfic, @waka-babe , @raisam

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@getosimping

As always let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! I'm still trying to get a chapter out once a week! <3

[thedragonofbadasstemple]

I don't normally comment on posts like this, but obsessed with the take as well that the point of this is to "cheer for them". The project is collecting testimonies from people who were involved with the MAGA movement, explaining why they fell into it, and why they left. We NEED stories like this to understand others and their viewpoints. We can't change people's minds, much less help them, if we can't understand why they think they way they do, or why the made the decisions that they did. Not everyone who voted for Trump did so for the same reason. Not everyone who wears a MAGA hat wears it for the same reason. A personal example, my father and my sibling both voted for Trump. My father blindsided me by this. He didn't vote for him the first two times, but did this time. With a sigh he explained his reason as "I watched the debates. He had a plan for the economy. Kamala didn't." He's a disabled vet. He works two jobs and my mom brings in more money than him. He's sick. He's a wounded dog that reached out for a shred of hope where he saw it. I know its misguided. I know that he made a lot of mistakes in life that led to where he is now, and that the economy is not to blame for his current predicament, but he can't see that. He has an entire lived experience different than mine that led up to this. My sibling is bisexual and transgender. He is 1.75 years younger than me. He is autistic and very mentally ill. He has never moved out from our parent's house, despite having thousands of dollars saved. He enjoys Warhammer 40k. He is a MAGA cultist. This is a change that happened out of nowhere for me. He blindsided me three years ago when we were hanging out on Christmas Eve and he wanted to show me Ben Shapiro stuff. I was surprised. I asked how could he watch that kind of stuff when he was queer and trans. He just responded "why are you bringing identity politics into this?" Its only gotten worse from there. Despite being trans himself, and despite me being his biggest ally and supporter for coming out to our parents, he misgenders me and says that he "doesn't believe in non-binary". He gets mad when I shit talk Trump and Elon. He is someone who doesn't always have a grip on reality, treats everything as a personal attack against him, and has little self-confidence. He has always been someone easily persuaded by others. Hes always had a nasty selfish streak. it makes absolute sense to me that he would end up falling into a hateful cult that would make him feel better than other people. If you have a loved one in the MAGA cult, you need to understand how they got to that point if you want to help them and get them out. If you want to be politically active and engage with other people of opposing viewpoints, then you need to know what those viewpoints are and why they hold those views in order to debate them. If you don't care, then you don't care. Not your circus, not your monkeys. But this information is valuable, even if its not relevant to you. No one is asking you to bend over backgrounds and congratulate anyone. This is just information for those who would seek it. That's all.

This is an interesting thing. Looks like testimonies of people who left the MAGA movement- how they got into it and why.

Leaving a cult is really hard, so I really respect the people who are speaking from this place.

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: Tess’ jealousy reaches a new level when she finds out you might be pregnant.]

PART TWO

Angst

“The hell did you tell her?”

Tess stood silent and he knew right then and there…he knew she had told you about Sarah and scared you away.

It had been a little over a month since you and Joel had first gotten together, since then you both were inseparable. A few things had changed since Joel confessed his feeling for you although they weren’t exactly changes you hoped for. Tess was still around, silent but always obvious of her dislike towards you. Instead the changes involved a new task, a task that involved a young girl named Ellie. Marlene, whom Joel had known but didn’t seem to like had asked him to take Ellie to a group of firefly’s that would then take over where she needed to be taken to. The only reason he went along with it was because his last chance to get a working car fell through. Now Marlene promised him he’d have a working car to get to Jackson as long as he took Ellie where she was supposed to be.

One thing you noticed was Ellie seemed to be more gravitated to you than Tess, just another thing that pissed Tess off. Especially with seeing how Joel seemed to be getting closer to Ellie.

Ellie and you laughed together at certain jokes she would tell you, looking over you caught Joel trying to hold back a smile.

“You thought that was funny didnt you?” You teased walking beside them through the woods.

“Oh yeah, look at him, he could barely keep himself together” Ellie continued, poking fun at Joel. Tess rolled her eyes at the sound of the laughter, it’s like she hated hearing how well you all got along.

“Can we focus on where we’re goin’?” Tess called out over her shoulder without looking at any of you.

“Someone’s grumpy” Ellie whispered making you look down with a smile until it hit you again. The nausea you had been ignoring for the past week, the nausea that you’ve somehow managed to hide from everyone. At first you didn’t think anything of it but as the days went on, you couldn’t help but wonder what the hell was going on. Keeping track of your period was pointless with it never being on schedule anyways, so you weren’t alarmed when it didn’t come the same time as the month before. But now you were starting to feel all these things you had read about, all these symptoms you remembered this pregnant woman Dolores spoke about feeling.

Joel and Ellie hadn’t noticed you stopped at first until he looked over to see you weren’t walking beside Ellie. Quickly turning around he found you a few feet behind leaning over on a tree. Ellie noticed Joel’s look of concern and turned herself to see the same thing.

“Hey-“ Joel called out to you making you quickly look up.

“Oh god” you whispered to yourself.

“I’m fine” you attempted to assure him but you should’ve known better, Joel was already quickly making his way to you.

“What’s wrong? You alright?” He spoke low.

You couldn’t speak in that moment, quickly nodding to assure him that you were fine until you looked up. He must’ve noticed something because the look on his face only seemed more concerned than he originally was.

“Here take some water” he passed you his bottle that you quickly took. As if your nausea couldn’t get any worse, Tess’ voice made your stomach turn.

“What’s the hold up?” She called out.

“Give us a minute” Joel responded as she loudly sucked her teeth.

“We don’t have a damn minute, it’s gonna get dark soon” Ellie looked back at how rude Tess was and raised her brows.

“She’s fine, keep walkin’” Tess stubbornly spoke. You nodded quickly handing Joel his bottle of water.

“I’m fine, let’s go” you wiped your lips, still feeling the nausea but not as bad as it was just a few moments earlier.

“We can sit down for a moment” Joel insisted not giving two shits what Tess was saying.

“N-no. I’m fine”

“Let’s go” Tess insisted.

“Hey-“ Joel whispered delicately turning your face to him.

“Ya sure?”

Tess once again rolling her eyes crossing her arms.

“I’m sure, let’s go” you began to walk beside Joel catching up to where Ellie was as Tess walked off.

Throughout the walk you could feel Joel’s eyes on you, although you continued, he didn’t believe you were ok.

The first stop you all made was at a pharmacy, you were surprised to see there was any product left. Tess, Joel and you made sure the building was clear before checking what was left. Thankfully your nausea had gone away but you knew it would come back sooner or later, it always did around the same time every day. Joel was distracted looking in the back of the store while Tess was in a stock room. You watched as Ellie happily packed a few feminine products before you realized the very next aisle had a few things left that caught your eye. Quickly without anyone noticing you grabbed a box of pregnancy tests and some prenatal vitamins stuffing them into your bag just incase.

“I’m surprised there’s anything left in this place” Tess voice made you jump as you turned to find her behind you, her eyes darting between the few boxes of pregnancy tests left and you.

“What are you doing here?” She raised a brow. As if it was any of her business, but the second she saw you even eyeing a pregnancy test she couldn’t help herself. God she hoped it wasn’t what she thought it was.

“N-nothing, I- I just-“ she squinted her eyes, changing her worried expression when you looked up at her.

“Oh god…he’s knocked you up…Hasn’t he?”

“N-no, I don’t know..I-“

“Oh…I feel sorry for you” she chuckled.

“he’s gonna hate you for this”

“What?” You whispered confused.

“You think he wants to have any more kids?” She laughed as you stood silent. More?

“Oh I’m sorry, that’s right…you don’t know certain things about him..” you could hear the taunting in her voice.

“What certain things?” You whispered.

“He never told you about Sarah, did he?” she seemed to get a kick out of this.

“Sarah?” Your chest felt as if it was caving in.

“No” you looked away in shock.

“He doesn’t like to talk about it but she died years ago…when this all started and it….it changed him.” You swallowed uncomfortably.

“He isn’t gonna want this, sweetheart. This will only upset him. You’ll see a side of him that’ll make you want to run away. You’re better off not even telling him if you are and just…taking off” you pressed your lips together holding back tears. For the first time Tess made sense to you.

“We can stay here for the night” Joel called out from the back quickly distracting you from the conversation. Without saying a word you quickly walked away, you had no idea to where but anywhere away from Tess. Of course that was when you ran into Joel.

“Hey-hey, what’s goin’ on?”

Joel could tell you were upset, his hand caressing the side of your face.

“Nothing, I’m just looking for stuff” you lied, you couldn’t even look at him.

“Did somethin’ happen?”

“No!” You stubbornly lied taking a deep breath.

“Just let me look at what they have left” you composed yourself and looked up at him. He silently nodded and let you walk off before looking up at Tess down the next aisle. She didn’t notice him looking at her and caught her chuckling to herself before walking away.

Ellie sat beside you pulling out a sandwich from her bag that Marlene had packed. The smell instantly striking you making you quickly turn your face. Ellie hadn’t noticed, you quickly stood up and ran off to the back room as Joel looked at you strangely.

“Just let her be already” Tess spoke as Joel stayed staring at the door you had ran into.

“If I were you, I’d ignore her” Tess snacked on a cracker as Joel stood up.

“Well I ain’t you and she ain’t your problem, she’s mine” he uttered under his breath as he walked off to where you were.

Hiding in the back you heard footsteps coming close, you already knew it was Joel and quickly turned away.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” He stopped a few feet away making sure to give you space.

“Nothing, I just-“ you squeezed your eyes shut with your hand over your mouth as another strong wave of nausea hit you.

“You alright?” You heard him begin to get closer and snapped.

“I’m fine!” You screamed without turning back to him.

“Just get the hell away, give me a damn minute!”

He stood silent for a moment feeling defeated, hopeless. How could he not know what the hell was wrong with you?

“Did I do somethin’ to upset cha?” His question creating a knot in your throat. He didn’t deserve to be spoken to this way, but you knew it was the only way he’d listen.

“Just go” you whispered.

Joel took a step back silently leaving the room leaving you to cry alone. Still you hadn’t taken a test but you knew, you knew you were pregnant.

Later that night while everyone slept you found a private space and finally took the test. Just as you thought two bright pink lines appeared. You cried in a panic, it was all real now. Hiding the test and the packaging where it couldn’t be found you wiped your tears and grabbed your backpack, you knew what had to be done.

Never did you think in a million years that you would be needing Tess’ help, yet here you were carefully waking her up out of her sleep.

“Tess” you whispered, she looked up at you confused.

“I need you to help me get out of here without Joel or Ellie waking up. Distract them as much as you can so I can get as far as I can” a rush of excitement went through Tess as she sat up.

“You’re leaving?”

“I have to” you whispered.

“You did the pregnancy test?” She asked with a raised brow.

“Yes, I just did” you pressed your lips together.

“Where do I tell him you went or why you left?”

“You don’t. You act like you never saw me leave, hell, I don’t even know where the hell I’m going. I just…I’m too afraid to tell him and I need to leave now.” Tess stood up straight as you struggled to hold your tears back.

“Take care of him for me ok?” You whispered through a trembling voice before turning away and as quietly as possible sneaking out of the store.

Tess for the first time in a while felt satisfied, her plan had worked. You were gone and Joel never knew you were pregnant but neither of you knew that as you spoke with Tess, Ellie lay awake listening to every word being said.

Afraid to say anything to Tess, Ellie lay quietly looking over at Joel. She didn’t know what Tess was doing but all she could hear was footsteps around her, she closed her eyes pretending to be asleep, she didn’t trust Tess.

Once she heard Tess finally walk into a room she quickly threw a rolled up paper at Joel and closed her eyes. At first he didn’t budge, making Ellie sigh and try once more, this time his eyes flung open. Squinting, she found him staring directly at her a few feet away before he began to look around and that’s when he realized you weren’t around.

Joel quickly stood up looking around the store just as Tess walked out of a back room with a surprised expression not expecting him to have woken up.

“Where is she?” He asked looking around as Tess hesitantly walked towards him.

“Um, I don’t know…I just woke up she must’ve snuck out-“

“Snuck out?” Joel turned to her with confusion as Ellie opened her eyes. Quietly she got up without saying a word to either of them, both of them distracted with what was going on Ellie wandered to the back.

Looking around for any possible evidence she needed, Ellie heard you say you had taken a test. Of course, there it was, an opened pregnancy test box stuffed between 2 bricks in the wall. God you were sneaky. Inside the box lay the positive test you had taken, Ellie quickly ran out to Joel who was in the middle of a heated conversation with Tess.

“Joel!” She ran to him as he looked down at her confused. Without saying a word she handed him the box, Tess’ eyes widened.

“Where the hell did you get that?” She whispered.

“The hell is this?” Joel looked inside the box.

“It was y/ns, I heard her say she took a test Joel” his brows furrowed as he pulled the test out of the box and read the positive results. His face turning pale as he realized what he was looking at before he snapped back to reality. His eyes darkened, looking straight up at Tess.

“The hell did you do?” He whispered coldly.

“I-I didn’t do anything, Joel, you barely knew her-“ Joel stepped forward with a deadly look in his eyes making Tess step back.

“The hell did you tell her?”

Tess stood silent and he knew right then and there…he knew she had told you about Sarah and scared you away.

“She needed to know about Sarah, Joel, she’s here thinking you two can actually have this-“

“That wasn’t your decision to make” Joel responded as he began to pack his back pack.

“Oh come on, Joel, you know damn well you don’t want that baby” he stopped moving, the silence so tense Ellie held her breath. Joel stood up and slowly walked towards Tess-

“If anything happens to her or my baby, I’ll find you.” Tess couldn’t believe how Joel was speaking to her. Speechless she watched as he walked out and called Ellie to follow.

He had no idea how or where he was going to find you but he knew his priorities were now only you and the baby and he was going to make sure he found you.

Joel’s tags

@moonpascal @katmoonz @picketniffler @stcrrjoon @itsamandi @starry-eyes-love @theoraekenslover @psychoenergy @joeldjarin @heartpatch @baronessvonglitter @guelyury @mynameistokyo @harriedandharassed @locaparapedrito @untamedheart81 @rosaliedepp @illyanam1011 @hopefulatrocity @tikikiki @thewritermj @l0veang3l @manuymesut @katiemarieeee @unknownomgg @secretcheesecakenacho @missladym1981 @xmaykeca @dendulinka6 @wintersquirrel @malfoycassimalfoy @scorpio-echo @orcasoul @mysteryhexgirl @locaparapedrito @alloftheimagines @mystickittytaco

@ashleyfilm @justajoelsreader @lonely-ey3s

@elliesr1fle @ro-nahime-things

@readingiskeepingmegoing

[snickerdoodlebaby]

Rebound - Thanos/Choi Subong x reader SMUT

Summary: Who should be your rebound after your shitty boyfriend, Namgyu, cheats on you? His best friend, of course!

Warnings: SMUT 18+, Namgyu cheats on you, grinding, blowjob, lots of praise, mating press, no protection, creampie, partying/alcohol, drug mention

A/n: ~ 4k words & super smutty, enjoy ♡

Fuck him. Fuck that lying, cheating, sleazy, junkie motherfucker.

Tears were still spilling down your reddened cheeks as you speed walked away from the apartment.

The more distance the better, you didn’t want to see Namgyu’s face for the rest of your life.

Hell, you didn’t even have time to grab your things. Toothbrush and clothes be damned, he could keep all of it.

You couldn’t even think about going back when the mental image of him and that whore kept popping up in your mind again and again.

You felt sick to your stomach.

Your brain kept torturing you with the brief moment you pushed open the door, wanting to find the source of the strange noises emanating from yours and Namgyu’s shared room.

You could almost hear the excuses he was coming up with when he looked up from the girl and saw your face in the doorway.

The worst part?

There wasn’t a fucking flicker of emotion on his face. Nothing.

He looked at you like he was seeing through you. You would’ve preferred anything to nothing. That was the problem with Namgyu — he was a numb, blunt, uncaring, fucker of a boyfriend.

When he was using substances it was even worse.

You weren’t a user yourself, but right now in this moment you never found drugs so appealing. You needed to numb yourself, lose yourself in some noise, anything.

All your fucks were thrown out the window.

Why were you treated like such trash after being such a sweet and attentive girlfriend? It was beyond you.

You were fucking exhausted and emotionally drained from almost 2 years of being a good girlfriend to such an unloving, heartless dickhead.

~~~

When you arrived at the tall, grand doorstep of the mansion you were sure you still looked a little disheveled. It was hard to hide the hours of crying from earlier, even after your best friend’s pep talk and makeover.

Sitting on her bed and sobbing about your shitty now-ex boyfriend turned into an anger-filled rant, which then evolved into a determined, vengeful plan you both came up with.

The plan? It was to look hot as fuck and attend a party to get shit-faced, of course.

No one could instill that confidence in you except your best friend, you owed it all to her that you were all done-up and entering a loud thumping party in a short, tight, dress. She even came along too, insisting on checking on you to make sure you were okay throughout the night.

The mansion was familiar to you, your friend group often partied or crashed here because it belonged to your friend, Subong. Well, at first you only knew him as “Namgyu’s friend” or Thanos.

You met him through Namgyu and quickly became good friends, Subong’s carefree and flirtatious attitude made it easy to open up and grow close with him.

Maybe that’s why Namgyu always hated when you were around him — angry that Subong’s jokes made you laugh and that you smiled more around the purple-haired rapper than him.

One thing was for sure, Subong knew how to throw a party. The music was much louder inside, the bass vibrating through your body and neon purple and blue lights flashing in a sensory overload.

People were everywhere, leaning over the stairway rail, lounging on the couch and smoking, puking in the kitchen.

There were a lot of moving bodies and alcohol.

It’s exactly what you needed.

You drank the first thing that was shoved in your hand as someone from your circle of friends greeted you and your bestie. Your eyes flickered around the crowd, looking for a familiar head of messy purple hair. You didn’t see it.

As the buzz of alcohol slowly kicked in, you found yourself in the middle of the bustling floor.

Namgyu forgotten, the first half of the night forgotten, the world forgotten as you swayed your hips side-to-side with the music and sighed.

You downed several more swigs of the mystery concoction from the punch bowl and felt the bass-y rhythmic music in your body. Your arms traced your own hips and sides, up and up as you closed your eyes and danced with your arms over your head.

You felt good, even better when a stranger’s pair of hands met your waist from behind, his grip firm. You continued dancing, rolling your hips sensually as his hands followed your movements.

God, you hoped the guy was at least hot.

Warm lips met your ear, hot breath hitting it as a low baritone voice sent vibrations against your back.

“Senorita.”

The smirk on your glossy lips was immediate. You bit your lip as your smile got really wide.

You knew the guy was, indeed, really hot.

“Subong.” You sighed breathily, stealing a small teasing glance at the tall man behind you.

His smirk mirrored yours, his eyes trained on your teeth tugging your bottom lip. You two swayed lazily to the music on the main floor of his house.

“What’s a mamacita like you doing, dancing all alone?” He drawled deeply, the last half in English.

His eyes were curious, a brow raising questioningly at the absence of your boyfriend.

The speed at which your smile fell was almost comical. Almost. Ah, way to sour the mood…

He could immediately tell something was up, the way your eyes darted away and narrowed at nothing in particular.

If it weren’t for the alcohol you’d probably have a little more of a filter, but not tonight.

“That asshole is currently spending the night with another mamacita.”

You scoffed, your drunken words coming out more forceful than you’d meant to.

Subong was quiet for a moment and you could feel his body become still behind yours, but his hands remained on your hips loosely. He returned to your ear after a moment, you couldn’t see the look on his face.

“What a shame.” His deep voice had a bit of an edge to it. God, the proximity was making you hot all over. You wished those damned ringed hands would move along your sides instead of staying in place.

You looked over your shoulder at him, the eye contact making you even more breathless.

Subong and Namgyu had always been close, he must be feeling pretty disappointed in his bro right now.

Then how come he looked kind of…pleased?

He pulled you back right against him by your hips, your back colliding with his solid chest making a puff of air leave your throat in a moany gasp.

Then his hands moved, fucking finally.

One slipped down to the edge of your dress, teasing the soft skin of your inner thigh with his thumb. His hips gyrated into your plush ass, sending your tingly mind spiraling.

You reached your arms up and around the back of his neck, pulling him in closer to you.

The two of you grinded shamelessly in the middle of the dance floor.

It’s not like anyone would notice or remember in the morning, and it was his house anyway. If they had a problem he’d kick them to the curb.

You keened and arched into him, needing him closer. His cologne always smelled so good, and he was wearing your favorite shirt of his, that neon green one that you always wanted to borrow.

Namgyu would never allow you in a million years, of course.

The cool metal of his cross necklace dug into your back, you’re sure it was branded into your skin at this point with how close you were.

Your hands on the back of his neck slid upward into his short hair, fingers gripping onto the strands needily.

“Oh my god, Subong. Please…” Shamelessly begging wasn’t usually your first resort, but god did you need him.

In fact, you’ve been needing him MUCH longer than you’d like to admit. You’ll deal with those months of suppressed feelings later though.

Right now he could take you in the middle of the floor and you wouldn’t care.

“Hm? Please what?” You could feel his lips curled up smugly against the back of your neck. Nooo, you didn’t want to be teased right now!

“God…Make me forget.” You whined. His breath hit your ear hotly as he grinded against your ass again.

“Make me forget, please. Need it…need it s’bad.” Your whiny words were slurred with the effects of the alcohol and your overwhelming desire for him.

You really wanted to see what was under those baggy jean shorts, the sheer size of him against your back was making your mouth water.

“Yeah? You need it?” His voice was rough and mocking, he was quickly losing his self-restraint.

It only made your back arch more. You were getting really frustrated.

“Fuck me, Subong.”

Well, you didn’t have to ask him again.

In a blur, people’s faces were suddenly moving around you — you were being pulled by your wrist through the crowd. You pouted briefly at the loss of his hot body against your back.

Up the two of you went, climbing the grand staircase to the second floor overlooking the party below.

A few people were up there making conversation with drinks in hand, you passed by them and they called out to Subong, or “Thanos” as they said, in greeting.

Subong pushed past them down the hall. Your legs were wobbly walking on the carpet in your pink heels.

You knew where you were headed, you’d spent countless hours hanging out at Subong’s place with Namgyu and your friends.

He hastily pushed open the door to his bedroom, pulling you inside with him. You were behind him, confused for a moment when he barked a short

“Get the fuck out.”

A group of three or four people scurried out past you, mumbling apologies and marveling at the sight of him as they left his room.

Ah, you realized they were sneaking a free tour of all of his music equipment and shiny award plaques lining the walls.

He was quick to slam the door shut after them and lock it, immediately trapping your body against it with his large frame. He wasted no time in smashing his lips into yours in a heated kiss and feeling up your body in a frenzy.

God how you’ve been wanting this.

His lips felt fantastic against yours, you kissed back with vigor and opened your mouth eagerly when his tongue teased your bottom lip.

Your hands moved up his lean body feeling him up shakily as his tongue massaged yours in sloppy circles.

Fuck, you knew he’d be a good kisser.

He gingerly sucked on your tongue as the two of you parted for a breath, making you moan loudly.

His mouth latched under your jaw, making your head tip back and hit the door with a thud as you closed your eyes. You gasped as he licked and sucked his way to your neck, biting the tender skin there and making you whine.

His hands were busy as well, fumbling with the hem of your dress at your hips and squeezing the fat there in his big hands.

It’s like he couldn’t get enough of you, not knowing where or what to touch first now that he’s finally been given the chance. You mewled out his name once, then twice, to get his attention.

His tongue lathed over the hot skin under your ear as he stilled his movements. You took a shaky breath to ground yourself as you fumble your fingers along the zipper to your dress, tugging it down hastily.

Subong slowly retreated from your neck to watch you push your tight dress down your body, landing in a pool of fabric at your feet.

“Oh shiiit.” He made no effort to hide his ogling at your tits.

You were so glad you decided to go braless under your dress. You bit your lip in a coy smile, looking up at him through your lashes.

He stepped forward and his hands were instantly all over your breasts, squeezing them in his palms as he pressed sloppy open-mouthed kisses to the top of them.

“Mmm, always knew ya had the best pair of tits.” He mumbled into your cleavage, making your face break out in a smile. You knew Subong was a tits guy the second you caught him staring at your boobs at a pool party. You had playfully made a disapproving face at him from across the pool then.

He responded with a shrug and a smirk at you, like he couldn’t help but stare when you were in your bikini, laying there like that. Namgyu would’ve thrown a tantrum if he caught how blatantly Subong had checked you out.

You moaned out, placing a hand on his soft hair to grab his attention. Ah, he didn’t gel it today, you noticed. He looked up at you from your boobs, his tongue still out teasingly.

“Subong, hang on…” You were already panting just from him playing with your tits.

He stood up slowly, hating to part with your breasts but wanting to know what’s got you all whiny. The look you were giving him was making his cock jump in his jeans. He eyed you darkly as you slowly sunk to your knees in front of him, groaning out loudly at the sight of you like that in front of him.

“Fuuuck. The view I only see in my dreams, baby.”

His voice was strained with arousal. Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, your hands moving forward teasingly slow to press over the obvious tent in his jeans.

He groaned low in his throat, his eyes never leaving you for a second as you pop the button and pull his zipper down.

You reach into the warmth of his black boxers to pull out his cock.

The sight of him springing out and slapping his stomach has your cunt clenching around nothing.

Your mouth opens instinctually, eyeing the sheer size and the veins going up and — wait is that a tattoo? It stretches up, a thick solid line along the length of his cock and up his chest. You gawk at the shiny silver ball at his thick tip and the metal ladder piercing adorning his shaft.

Heat fucking radiated off the pulsing monster in your hand, you could feel it on your face inches away.

Oh shit. You visibly tremble a little. This is new. Could you even handle something like this?

Subong must’ve found your expression funny because he chuckled above you, his abs clenching as the low rumble reverberated through his chest.

You stole a glance upward at his face, looking at him with sultry doe eyes. You were up for a challenge tonight.

When your tongue came in contact with the velvety underside of his dick he groaned, making you grind your panty-covered pussy into his carpet at the hot sound.

You licked your way up to his tip, the cold metal ball creating a unique contrast on your tongue as you swirled it around. You wasted no time in sinking him past your plush lips into your warm mouth, eager to finally have a taste.

He tasted salty and musky — it was your turn to moan now.

Ringed fingers tapped your cheek before he was even halfway in. You opened your eyes to maintain eye contact with him while you took him further in your mouth.

“That’s it…” His lopsided smirk and soft praise made your pussy throb.

You sunk down the rest of the way, swallowing around him with your tongue massaging the underside of his cock.

Subong’s room was filled with wet gawking noises and his drunk rambling praises. “Gyeaaahh, fuck. ‘Dunno what I did in the past life to deserve head this good.”

Who knew the man could get even more talkative. He couldn’t shut up about the heavenly feeling of your tight throat.

“Bro was keeping this warm mouth all to ‘imself this whole time…”

You moaned at the mention of your ex-boyfriend. Your mouth was never this full with Namgyu.

You looked at him and hungrily pushed your mouth all the way down on him to the base of his abs, your nose tickling the hairs there.

You gagged, his piercings touching the back of your throat triggering your gag reflex.

Both of your eyes nearly rolled back at the sensation.

You pulled off of his cock with a gasp and he groaned, an obscene amount of drool spilling out of your mouth and running down his shaft. Tears were pooled at the corners of your eyes as you looked up at him longingly, like a begging puppy.

“Lemme fuck that outta ya, pretty.”

His voice was dark with the promise of fucking you so good you’d forget everything that made you sad. It’s exactly what you needed and he knew just how to give it to you.

He held his hand out to you which you took, rising from the floor with trembling legs and soaked panties. He licked the shell of your ear.

“Let big bad Thanos make you forget everything…”

When he pulled back his smirk was downright wicked and you couldn’t help but bite your lip in a smile.

How could he be so goofy and hot at the same time?

He backed you up into his bed, manhandling your soft hips into his big hands and tossing you back onto it.

You yelped in surprise at the rough action as he pounced on top of you.

Subong wasted no time in gripping both of your legs and pushing them back until your knees connected with your chest. He growled while taking in the sight of your soaked panties.

He could smell how wet you were.

“Ya gonna lemme fuck ya nice n’ good?”

You nodded frantically.

He pulled his shirt off his back and threw it onto his floor. His silver cross dangled over your face as he lined himself up with your sopping cunt.

His thumb pulled the crotch of your panties aside.

When you felt the red hot tip of his cock press right against your hole you moaned out. The ice cold feel of his piercings against your folds heightened everything.

He placed his fists next to your head while keeping your legs up, needing a view of your face as he forced his dick past your tight entrance. It was a struggle, your eyes screwed shut at the sting of him stretching you open.

God, your cunt was weeping around him, you’d never taken anything this big before.

And then, in a sharp thrust he bottomed out the rest of the way inside you, balls deep. You cried out, mewling at the utterly full feeling as he doubled over and controlled his breathing in the crook of your neck.

“Shiiiiit…” He bit into your neck, grounding himself as he started to rock his hips.

He pulled back and hovered over you with his jaw slack, looking down between your bodies where you were sucking him in.

His thrusts grew in speed, eyes flicking to your face to see your eyebrows knit together in desperation.

“Yeahh that’s it…feel good to finally be properly fucked?” The force of his thrusts increased as he got worked up, his silver chain swaying between your hot bodies.

Your cunt clenched around him — the filthy way he was talking to you, the way he was reaching parts of you that you didn’t even know existed, the way he looked at you as if you were the sexiest woman alive — it was too much.

His hands went back to gripping the backs of your thighs, pressing you even deeper.

The stretch had you clenching around him and moaning out even louder.

He basically had you in a mating press, jackhammering his cock into you and abusing your poor pussy as he gained more leverage in this position.

You could only lay there and moan and take it. It felt so fucking good you started to cry.

“Yeahhh, that feel real good baby? Ya like that?” Subong’s questions were not getting answers, not that he expected anything remotely coherent with how fucked out you looked right now.

Your eyebrows pinched together in desperation, your wet lips parted in an “O” as your tongue slightly lolled out.

Could you even hear him right now? He wondered.

He chuckled breathlessly and bit his lip as he kept up his rough thrusts.

“Shoulda fucked ya years ago, yeah. Coulda saved ya from cryin’ all those pretty tears. He didn’t deserve a heavenly cunt like this, gah’damn…”

You whined pathetically in response. “Yes yes yes yes!” The only thought in your little brain at this moment was Subong and his big cock.

You didn’t even know what you were so eagerly agreeing with.

He gaped down at you as he continued his rough assault down into your cunt. You were sucking him in so much that he struggled to pull out each time.

What a perfect little thing you were.

Your world spun around for a moment, and you blinked open your wet eyes.

It took you a second to register that he had pulled out and flipped you over onto your stomach, the force making you bounce slightly on his bed. He yanked your ruined panties down your thighs, shoving them in his short’s pocket without your knowledge.

He hoisted your ass up roughly, his painted nails leaving deep marks in your hips.

As he forced you to be level with his cock you whined.

He sunk back into the drenched grip of your hole, pulling you back onto him by the fat of your ass. He threw his head back as you met his hips, jiggling at the contact.

You lurched forward, the feeling of his piercings dragging against your walls nearly sending you over the edge right there.

“Gyeahhh…Shit, bro s’crazy for giving up pussy this good.”

He drew his hips back slowly, his cock sliding out of your gummy cunt that tried to keep him inside.

His dick emerged slick with your juices, he leaned right over and spat onto your ass crack, the warm spit drooling down and spreading over your pussy lips as you moaned and pushed back on him at the sensation.

“Namsu must have a small dick, cuz this cunt is tight.”

On his last word he thrusted roughly as deep as he could, staying there and grinding his bulbous tip into your g-spot.

He couldn’t help but run his mouth when your cunt felt this good! The words just kept coming out with no filter, it was bringing you dangerously close to cumming. He could feel it.

“Fuckin’ hell sweetheart, y’gonna cum? Squeezin’ on me so good.”

In the span of a second his thrusts sped up to an ungodly pace, his hips smacking into you with a lewd “plap” sound over and over.

Your scream was pornographic, long forgetting that there were other people in the house. Subong only grinned at that as he continued to fuck you ruthlessly, he was eating it up.

He was never one to care about an audience.

He groaned out as he felt himself getting close as well.

His hand landed on your ass in a hefty smack, the sting finally throwing you over the edge as you clenched around him in quick fluttering pulses.

He thought you blacked out for a second from how eerily silent you became as you orgasmed hard around his dick.

Your mouth was wide open as you writhed against his pillows, gripping onto anything you could reach for support.

The tightness was killing him, he could barely push into you from the way you were strangling his cock.

It took one, two, three more sloppy thrusts until he stilled as deep as he could and came with a loud groan.

You thought it couldn’t possibly get better, until you felt his hot cum filling you to the brim.

His sweaty chest met your back, and he rolled his hips lazily to push his remaining cum in deeper as the spurts slowly came to a halt.

~~~

Namgyu’s phone buzzed on the nightstand. He rolled over lazily with a sigh to pick it up and stared at the screen. His brows furrowed almost immediately and his heart lurched in his chest — a text from you. He sat up quickly in bed.

He unlocked his phone and froze at the image in the chat. He had to make sure he was seeing this right.

A picture of your ass spread wide open filled his entire screen. It looked like it was taken in a dark room with the flash on.

Then he noticed the tattooed hands with colorful painted nails parting your weeping puffy cunt. White cum seeped out of your hole and onto the sheets.

Namgyu just stared downward at the photo with a death grip on his phone.

A second later a text bubble appeared right underneath it. He could immediately tell it wasn’t you behind the keyboard.

1:17am

ya fumbled this fine piece of ass, bro. don’t worry though i’ll keep reminding u what ur missing out on lmao

i’m open to making a part 2

threesome??? we’ll see lol

[reidrum]

i need you to fill the void

a/n: it's my birthday so pls don't say damn when you see that this is angst

summary: in which spencer seeks another vice post tobias

cw: smut 18+ minors dni, not smut centered though, angst, mentions of addictions, poor coping habits for both spencer and reader, toxic!spencer, situationship, excessive em dash usage

wc: 2.1k

The frigid bite of the night greets you as you walk outside to your car. The cold is sobering, almost warning you as you trek into a journey the sky has seen many times. 

It had been three months since Spencer’s kidnapping, two months since you found out he was going to Narcotics Anonymous before the roundtables, and one month since you realized you were the only person who could help him.

Knowing he was struggling through his addiction on his own—though, you knew the team was fully aware and simply chose to not do anything about it—made you feel like shit. It wasn’t even your fault, you were back at the main cabin with Emily going over the case when you figured out the unsub was Tobias Hankel. Somehow you felt worse than JJ who was actually there with him, because you should’ve figured it out sooner. You saw the behavioral signs pointing to him. It was so obvious, wasn’t it? Maybe it was your fault.

At least, that’s what you continue to tell yourself night after night as you make the five minute drive to his apartment always nearing the witching hour. Spencer wouldn’t feel this hopeless if you had just been smarter, faster. But you weren’t, and now he was suffering. You didn’t know how to help him, how to make him feel better—if he was even capable of healing. So you offered him what you could, which was everything.

And he took what he needed—which was everything.

You raise your hand and softly knock on the door. Three times, never more, never less. Footsteps pad closer to the door on the other side before slowly opening revealing Spencer in his blue plaid pajamas and one of his many punny science t-shirts. Tonight’s was Never trust an atom, they make up everything!

The routine is easy to fall into, you take your shoes off while he removes your coat. You walk to the couch and he goes to the kitchen, preparing tea just the way you like it. When he returns, you’re already curled up in your usual spot on the couch and he slips in beside you like it was made for him. Like you didn’t spend so much time tearing it down and building it up hoping he’d find at least one of the versions to be familiar. 

“Had a good day?” he murmurs into your shoulder before claiming the spot with a kiss. Familiar.

You nod, “You?”

“It was bad after the roundtable this morning,” his lips traverse your collarbone, “better now, though.”

The warmth blooms in your chest at his little admission. Familiar. You know the warmth isn’t viable, but for the few moments of life in which it exists you will bask and let it consume you.

His hands have traveled around your waist tugging you closer to him with a confidence he’s slowly worked up to over the course of your encounters. It still surprises you when he initiates anything, the Spencer you had met on your first day at the BAU—joining only a week after him—could barely say two words to you let alone look you in the eyes.

The Spencer in front of you now lets his fingers play with the hem of your shirt with a slight hesitancy. They shake, but you know it’s not from the nerves. You don’t mention it.

“Couch or bedroom?” you coax gently.

“Bedroom.” He releases his hold on you and stands from the couch, holding a hand out for you. You take it and follow him down the hallway, the warmth inside you slowly fading as you get closer.

You’re barely through the bedroom door when Spencer tugs you back into his arms and kisses you voraciously, his hand cupping your face while the other presses you impossibly closer to him as he can. This is the part where the flip switches—when you both stop playing house and Spencer remembers what he needs you for.

His anxious hands turn greedy as they tug your shirt off and work on your pants, you pepper kisses along his jaw and turn your bodies to push him onto the bed. He stares up at you in anticipation as you unhook your bra and he hurriedly takes his pajamas off. It’s muscle memory from this point on, he scoots back to lean against the headboard as you crawl up and straddle him. 

You know what he needs to feel placated enough so the urges won’t overtake and drown him. He looks up at you like you’re the salvation he’s been waiting for, the vice that helps him walk away from his sin.

There is no salvation without sacrifice—but Spencer didn’t need to know that, he isn’t the one who will be sacrificed.

He positions your hips over his own and you slowly guide yourself down onto him, blissed out sighs leaving both of you as you take in all of him. You wait for a minute to adjust and then slowly lift your hips up and back down, a soft whimper falling from his lips.

Spencer doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to how it feels to have you wrapped around him. It’s intoxicating, dangerous, compulsive. He wonders how people can resist temptation when the gratification feels like this.

Your hips stutter and falter from their pattern, the muscle fatigue getting to you fast. “Sorry, just need a second.” you pant.

“S’okay, you want to switch?” He gently flips you over so you’re laid back on the bed before giving you the chance to answer. He doesn’t usually get on top, but recently Spencer has tasted the forbidden fruit that hangs low from your branches and found that it feels better than anything he’s ever taken with a needle.

The addiction has a power that compels him to use according to its agenda, and he really can’t remember the last time he’s felt in control of his own body. The addiction tells him when to use, and he listens.

But whenever he’s with you, he doesn’t have to fight any compulsion—you’re already offering it up for him to take.

He guides himself back inside you slowly, leaning down once he bottoms out to kiss your cheek tenderly. “Okay?” You nod and he pulls back, pushing your leg up to delve deeper. Spencer’s making sure he’s taking all that he can—he doesn’t know how long he’ll last before the urges come back for him.

His hips set a comfortable pace, fueled by the whines that tumble from your lips. He can’t get enough of you, he’d put the drugs down forever if he could feel like for the rest of his life. You both chase your highs and come undone at the same time, the praises falling out of him like they belong to you. Spencer pulls out and lays beside you while both of your breathing evens out. He doesn’t leave right away–he is a gentleman, after all–so he’ll get up after a few minutes and grab a wet cloth to gently clean you up, slip into the blankets again and hold you close yet so far away.

You’ll make yet another effort to reach out and connect with him in a way much more intimate than you think either of you deserve.

“I like what we have right now, it’s just not what I’m looking for.”

“I’m not in a good place, it wouldn’t be good for either of us.”

And the worst one, “I care about you too much to do that to you.”

It continues like this for months. A call in the dead of the night and you come running at the ring of the bell. Under the guise of being a good friend and completely disregarding any other harbored feelings you hold, failed attempts at building something more. You know you have to do this. You were not fast enough before, and so you must give everything you have now. 

Spencer grows comfortable in the next months, complacent and sure that whenever the urges come for him you’ll drop everything. Every encounter after chips away at you, but it makes him stronger so it must be worth it. 

Some nights are harder than others, the withdrawal eating away at him faster than you can feed it. You’ve rarely seen him be mean before, always too timid to speak out of line. But the symptoms have reduced him to primal desire and suddenly he’s demanding and pervasive.

“You’re late.”

“You said you’d be here an hour ago, what was more important than this?”

“I needed you, where were you?”

“Should’ve gotten here sooner, don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t.”

It’s nice to be relied on, it gives you a sense of purpose. He’ll be mean for a bit while he lets the addiction withdrawal displace him momentarily, but regains his bearings the second you walk through his front door. Over time, the shaking is starting to subside, the irritability slowly fading. The warmth in your chest returns thinking about the little moments between the sheets when he hushes your mistaken cries for pleasure with gratitude for your service. “Thank you, baby.” and “You’re so good to me.” falsely secure you as you continue to give what’s left of you.

You suppose you can’t exactly be upset or even surprised that he saw you as nothing more than a warm body in his bed. If you were the entity keeping Spencer tethered to this realm then you’ve strengthened him enough to stand on his own two feet. 

That should be a good thing.

When you’re in the bullpen the week after it shouldn’t surprise you when Derek claps his shoulder with a resounding “My man” as he turns his blushed face to the floor. Before the blush can rise on your face at the prospect of someone discovering your rendezvous, Derek continues with, “It’s about time you asked her out.”

Spencer never asked you out.

“You finally asked out Austin?” JJ chirps. Austin, bartender, Waco case.

But you built him up yourself, you should be proud of your handiwork.

“She just moved up here and needed someone to show her around. That’s all it is.” Spencer flushes, a clear sign that it is in fact not all it is.

Emily remarks how he looks happier than he has in weeks, Penelope squeals in excitement, Hotch and Rossi even look down from the landing in subtle interest.

The warmth inside returns again with an edge this time, a burning sensation that reveals you held it too close to your heart. Familiar. It takes everything in you to school your face and hold your tears in as you faintly whisper, “I’m happy for you, Spence.”

Because you are happy–this is what you wanted for him, to feel normal again. If he achieved it without you then who are you to blame him for? You served your purpose, and now you can rest.

Right?

–

Spencer doesn’t call you for three weeks.

You try not to think about it when he comes in late the next day with his tie askew and hair in a tousled mess. It doesn’t bother you when he finally accepts the O’Keefe’s invite and shows up with her. You have to consciously unclench your heart when his laugh sounds loud and genuine throughout the jet–but that’s nothing you haven’t done before for him.

When your phone rings again in the witching hour for the first time in weeks, it catches you off guard. You roll over grabbing the phone and answering it without even looking at the caller. 

“Hello?”

Silence, then shallow and labored breathing. You look down at your phone, sitting up fully when you read the ID, “Spence? What’s wrong?”

He gulps, “I…I almost…”

Your heart drops, “Are you okay?”

“Y–Yeah, think so. I didn’t..But..” he stutters, “Fuck, do you think you could–” he trails.

The tears spring to your eyes before you can help it, barely shutting them in time before they break down your face. Familiar.

“Be there in five.” you say evenly before hanging up.

The frigid bite of the night greets you in a mocking taunt as it watches you trek to your car. Three knocks. He greets you with red rimmed eyes at the door, clad in a Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar…t-shirt. The routine is easy to fall into–shoes and coat off, cup of tea before putting the TV on. You hope he accepts this version of you this time.

Inhale. Exhale. “Bedroom?”

[fishnapple]

How you pursue them - how they want to be pursued

I made a "how they pursue you" reading (you can read it here) so I figured a version from your side is needed. After all, it takes two to tango. This reading was done with your future spouse/lover/partner in mind.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

STRAWBERRY QUARTZ

If you're someone who's more direct, action oriented and wants thing to move at a fast pace, you might need to slow down and adopt a softer energy towards them. They need to feel an emotional and spiritual connection with you first in order to slowly fall for you. And that connection can be built based upon many small bricks of consideration and practical actions.

The first practical thing that you can do for them is probably be practical and take care of their practical needs, especially when it comes to food, feed them, prepare food for them, and take them out to eat. A fulfilled stomach makes them feel more at ease with you. Displaying emotional stoicism is another way to show them that they can be at ease with you. Being calm in the face of difficulties, rolling your sleeves to solve the problems without complaining, not overreacting or being overly dramatic. They will feel that conflicts with you can be solved diplomatically without being emotionally draining.

They're attracted to consistency and stability, if you do act consistently, it should send a message to them that you're serious and dependable, that they can count on you to not change your mind and heart suddenly and be wishy washy. I think they are wary of unpredictability and emotional unavailability, this could be due to their past experiences, they would often attract this kind of people and the experiences left a deep scar in their heart. So now they look for predictability, even repetitiveness in actions of the other party. If you say you're going to do something, be sure to actually do it, and on time. The fastest way to turn them off would be to say you forgot to do something that you had stated or, worse yet, promised to do.

Sometimes they can feel lonely or pessimistic about the future, this is when you need to be their sunshine, bring more joy to their life, get them out of that gloomy mood. You can offer to do something together, not something that would make them uncomfortable or more anxious of course, things that they can relax yet focus on the physical reality, like making pottery, going for a walk, going to somewhere with many people around, but be sure to not leave them alone, stay close to them all the time. Then subconsciously, they will gradually feel a link with you, their heart will carve a space for you, tiny at first, but will expand gradually.

ROSE QUARTZ

This person is attracted to the idea of fateful love or love at first sight. They want to feel a sense of spiritual connection with the other person. Love should feel transcendental to them. You will have better luck at capturing their attention by flitting in and out of their life than constantly being in their face all the time. A chance meeting stays in their mind longer than the face of someone they see every day, at least initially. When you guys have gotten closer, the opposite would be true, they need your constant presence to feel secure. This person can be hard to pin down with their myriad wishes and expectations, you will feel like walking in a maze when trying to find a way to get closer to them. Maybe it's their way to test your patience and resolve. Be consistent, but still show them some surprises now and then.

If you're already involved in their daily life and want to create that sense of serendipity and fatefulness, try to find any common points that you share and gently, subtly point to those in your conversation. Remember, those things have to be real, not made up just to score a point with them. They're good at detecting lies and pretense, so any display of those traits will go straight to their "stay away" list. When communicating with them, it's best to keep it real as much as possible. Be moderate with flowery words and excessive praises, it seems insincere and will trigger their suspicion, once they're suspicious of you, they will always in the mindset of looking for red flags, even when they don't exist, their walls will grow thicker around you. They actually like a more intense and straight to the point style of communication. When both of you feel comfortable enough with each other, talking about taboo or deeper psychological topics is welcomed, but mixed it with optimism and light-hearted banters here and there also. Remember, they can be a little contradictory, they welcome heavier topics, but they don't want those to dominate your conversations, they like a deep person but who won't drag them down. You can vent to them, spill out your darkest secrets, and they won't flinch. But they will begin to feel weary if that's the only thing you do without expressing any desire to make the situation better or refusing to get out of what's holding you back. Because through this, they can assess your ability to navigate future problems with them. They will also look at your aspirations, your hopes and plans for the future, it's okay if you're still confused about those, as long as you're open-minded, you can even ask for their advice and help, they like to be helpful.

They actually like it when you're the one doing the pursuing, or at least, show your intentions clearly to them, you can say to them outright that you like them or want to date them, marry them even. If they already have some feelings for you, they will reciprocate truthfully, if not, they will give an honest reply tactfully. As long as you're not being too aggressive about it, they're open to the possibility even if they haven't developed any feelings for you yet.

CITRINE

This person likes someone who is in their power and knows what they want. They like assertive and confident people. So they'll probably welcome it if you actively pursue them. But not in the desperate and clingy way, though, which is what they really dislike. Being showy for the sake of showing off is also a no-no, if you buff yourself up just to appeal to their type, they will probably sense it. They want true confidence, a little of haughtiness even. The assertiveness and directness I'm talking about here doesn't need to be directed only at them and the connection, if you show those traits outside of the connection, it's actually even better. In work, in executing tasks, in speeches, in the pursuit of knowledge, they like someone who has goals, one who dares to dream lofty dreams and is willing to put in the work to make those dreams real. You don't need to be a high achieving person or be a boss or anything, what they look for in a person is the authority over oneself, the drive to success and the vision. So sharing your dreams with them, being efficient, show off a little bit of your achievements, tastefully and subtly, mentioning them only in passing, don't emphasise them.

You can be intense and be romantic as much as you like. It might surprise them at first, but they will secretly like it. Write them notes, send them poems, share songs with hidden meaning, and give them gifts on random days, all of these will stir their romantic heart. They like the feeling of love and romance transporting them out of the boring, mundane world, like those love stories shown in novels and movies. The more repetitive their daily routine is, the more they want to feel the randomness and surprises given to them by someone else. You can do quirky things, invite them to creative workshops, somewhere they can relax and have fun. Be a little unpredictable and casual, but don't play hot and cold, you will find them disappearing faster than turning a page.

Showing your intention early on won't be a problem, but don't put any pressure and expectations on them, just state your intention like a fact, a truth that you want them to know. They will appreciate the freedom you can give them. They will also appreciate your wisdom, a beautiful mind turns them on more than any beautiful outer shell a person may have. Share the interesting things you've learnt, your experiences, especially your travel anecdotes, share what you find beautiful and touching, those things will bring you guys closer faster than any physical flirting.

RED JASPER

I think the best way for you to appeal to their heart is to show your vulnerability in the most authentic way. This person values authenticity above all else, all the messy emotions, the shame and guilt you hide, they want to see them all laid bare before them. This is a way for them to test your resolve and resilience, though they're also attracted to tenderness and vulnerability in a person. They're probably an intense person themselves, so they need someone who can match them, who's not afraid to be real with them. But don't dump your deep dark secrets on them when you're still in the initial stage of getting to know each other. They appreciate courage and a forthright spirit, but they don't want to be your therapist from the get-go. They probably need to feel appreciated too, being able to be real with you too, it's an equal give and take, an exchange between hearts and souls, not a confession session. When they feel that they can trust you enough to tell you their more private thoughts and feelings, this is a crucial and decisive moment, the way you would react and respond will be registered into their mind forever, almost like you're being observed by a judge.

Their mind can be quite heavy with dark thoughts and gloomy outlooks and they need someone who can bring more colours into their psyche. You can show they how to appreciate life's beauty more, gently lead them into a more bright place, let them have the chance to relax and be in the present moment. Something colourful will have that effect on them, you can surprise them with small gifts like flowers and plants, candies, hot drinks, soft pillows, cool water touching their feet, birds, cuddly pets, cakes, things you make yourself, things that can stimulate their five senses more. That would include your clothes or your scent. They need something to be of contrast to their grey inner landscape.

You can also stimulate their mind with conversations about all kinds of different topics, they would probably be interested in esoteric topics, spirituality, personal belief system, the unknown, travel, books. If you guys are not engaging in mental gymnastic, you can go for the physical one, swimming or skiing, roller coaster riding might be their favourites. They need to feel a sense of active and dynamic in your energy, almost like they need a warm light to surround themselves with, someone to add a touch of magical feeling to their mundane existence and introduce them to deeper facets of life.

[lilianalovespink]

Your lungs burn.

Your skin does too.

Sweat soaked clothes cling to your skin, cotton made heavy by the sheer amount of it that you've let off in the last hour of training.

But most importantly, there's a lump in your throat that aches worse than any cough ever could've- feeling like that time you had tonsillitis as a child.

"'ny more wisdom or are you done, private?"

If you cry now, he'll be kind; understanding. He always is, but that's the problem.

"I'm done captain."

~

'Unable to follow orders without questions, unable to integrate into the team.'

Sincerely and with your entire heart, you wish only the worst upon John Price. You could follow orders, you could work with them- if they let you.

A discomfort of needle like nature pulls through your muscles at that thought, considering that you had in fact voiced it and that the consequence had been the training you usually do over the course of three hours having to get done within an hour, no breaks, no warmups.

The worst part, you thought as you stepped out of the showers, is that in his view, he didn't hate you but rather...think you incompetent; a cocky amateur with too much of their chest puffed out.

You, a little child, a toddler acting rebellious or throwing a tantrum, and him, the sensible adult, strict but 'caring'.

"Shh, I know. This is too much for you. I know."

Leave it to him to make comfort a painful act; one for you to be belittled during, made out to be just another stupid teen in over their head.

Yes, you were younger than your commander, your captain, but no younger than your lieutenant or seargant.

Just not at their rank.

Your transfer to the 141 was abrupt, but by no means unwelcome. You were the best in your recruitment class, you were capable but as price, at the time you thought jokingly, put it, you weren't 'broken in'.

And boy did he have every intention of breaking you.

Training was tough, but doable except-

"You were top of your class? Again."

"There's a reason you're still a private."

"If you can't manage, leave."

And then, whenever you snap at him, show teeth at the hand that constantly strikes you, he's a saint. He's really just putting you what everyone else is going through, why are you this upset? Clearly because you're immature.

If you can hold back your urge to bite bite bite- this man, if you try to ask him stuff it's really a coin flip of what version of Captain John Price you'll get.

"You can't handle it? That's okay. It's okay, hey- no crying. Come here...yeah, that's a good girl."

Or, in case you didn't crawl between his legs like a scared puppy-

"I'm only being hard on you because I thought you wanted to be better. Was I wrong about that? Or do you want to be something other than a private one day?"

The worst part is that, the team seems to see you as a puppy as well- with you literally getting that as a monicker.

Lt. Riley wasn't as cold and mysterious as you expected when you first saw the mask, but he certainly wasn't hellbent on letting you be his buddy, let alone his comrade. He never helped you out unless you asked, but, should you make that mistake, to ask for help, he'll nod and simply guide you aside like you're a sheep and he's your shepherd. Like teaching you wasn't literally his job.

Sgt. MacTavish as well as Sgt. Garrick had initially been warm and inviting, had made you feel like this was your team- until you noticed how they'd leave you out whenever they could. Sure, neither of them were rude but- they weren't proper teammates either.

And then, of course, Captain Price.

What should you say about this man? How horrible he is? Would that do what he's put you through any justice?

As if this alienation from the people you literally had to trust with your life wasn't bad enough, the way they seemed to pity you was worse. Like you were a small child who dropped your candy.

It hurt, badly.

So when Commander Philipp Graves joined for a mission in Los Alamos and was the only one who treated you like you were on one level?

Yeah, you took the bait.

[holylulusworld]

How to cure a grump (8)

Summary: You’re losing your job on Christmas.

Pairing: CEO/Boss!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: grumpy Bucky, mistaken identity, kinda fake dating trope, fluff, mentions of being cruel to animals (no description), idiots in love

How to cure a grump (7)

How to cure a grump masterlist

“The poor little thing,“ you sniffle on your way home. After you found the kitten, and the kiss making you weak in the knees, you weren’t in the mood for figure skating. “How could anyone throw you into a dumpster?”

Bucky is silent. He holds the kitten close to his warm chest and protects it from the cold with his warm coat. “People can be cruel.”

Your mind is racing. Everything happening not half an hour ago has you doubting your opinion about Bucky.

He defended you and punched your ex. And then, he kissed you again.

How could he kiss you again?

Your former boss is a mystery to you. One moment he’s the worst, and the next he’s a sweet man saving a dirty kitten from a dumpster.

“We need to go to a vet,” he says, breaking the silence. “Right?” He cocks his head to look at you. “I never had a pet before.”

“Let’s head home for now. Doc Carter is on vacation this year. I think the kitten needs food, warmth, and a place to sleep for now,” you glance at the kitten. It lifts its head to look up at Bucky, meowing loudly. “I bet the little furball is hungry.”

“Food. Right,” Bucky says as he looks down at his body to check on the kitten. “Poor punk. Who did this to you? Tell me their name, and I’ll get them arrested or worse.”

“I guess we’ll never find them,” you murmur as Bucky stops in his tracks. “That’s how things go most of the time, Bucky.” You carefully pat the cat’s head. “Sweetie got lucky we found them in time. It’s going to snow more and get colder tonight.”

“Sweetie,” Bucky wrinkles his nose. “That’s an awful name for a cat.” His features soften seeing the little kitten in his arms look back at him. “We will find a better one.”

“We will see,” you reply, determined to name the kitten yourself. Bucky has no right to name them. You heard them meow first.

“What a sweet little creature!” Your mother exclaims, watching Bucky carefully place the kitten he carried back home on a warm blanket. He checks on the creature, humming as the kitten nuzzles his hand. “Where did you find it?”

“In a dumpster!” Bucky angrily replies. “Can you believe someone threw this little kitten away?” He sniffs before carefully lifting the kitten. “Hmm…boy or girl?”

Your mother chuckles as he looks her way. “Let me,” she offers, and carefully lifts the kitten’s tail. “She’s a little girl.” Your mother smirks as Bucky moves the blanket and kitten closer to his side. “No wonder she wants to be close to you, Bucky.”

The kitten desperately meows and tries to climb onto Bucky’s hand. “Hey, slow down. You need food, and sleep.”

“I can prepare food for the poor thing. We found more than one stray kitten over the years,” your mother offers. “How about you go to the living room? It’s warm and you can sit on the couch. I’ll be right there with food for the kitten.”

Before you get the chance, Bucky carefully picks the blanket and kitten up, carrying it out of the kitchen and toward the living room. You huff. “Why don’t you give the kitten to me? You’ll go back to New York soon. I will stay here, and I can take care of them.”

Bucky squares his jaw. Again, you had to remind him of his mishap.

“You’ll have a job when you come back after the holidays. The kitten, though, is mine.” He states, not leaving room for arguments. “I save them.”

“You don’t even know how to take care of the kitten,” you argue, and snarl his name, ready to fight for the kitten.

“I know damn well how to tame a bratty creature,” he growls and steps closer, stopping right in front of you. Bucky's hands twitch to push you against the wall and kiss you again, but your mother walks inside the living room.

“Awe, don’t fight,” she coos. “You are going to take good care of the kitten, together.” She winks at you. “Let’s feed the kitten first.”

“Bucky Barnes,” you hiss, as you knock at the door of the guest room. “Give me the kitten.” You enter the room without waiting for an answer.

“I won’t give you the kitten,” Bucky grunts in your direction. He settled on the bed, the blanket with the kitten right next to him. “Her name is Alpine, and I already ordered everything she’ll need online.”

“Alpine?” You cock your head and huff. “What gives you the right to name her?” You growl. “James Buchanan Barnes just walks into town; kisses people he fires and claims their kitten!”

Bucky smirks. “Not so loud,” he replies as he slowly slips out of the bed. “I saved her and brought her here. She likes me, and I named her because Alpine is my kitten now.”

“You—” you huff, frustrated. Fighting with Bucky won’t get you anywhere. “Why do you want the kitten? You��re not the kind of man caring for a pet, or people or anything.”

“I care for a few people,” he argues. “Steve, my best friend since childhood is one of them. I don’t care about many people, but if I do, I do it unconditionally.”

“Sure.” You snap at him. “You care only about your buddy and money. I bet you’ll forget to feed the poor kitten.”

“Alpine,” he growls and pushes you against the wall, holding you there. “Her name is Alpine. I decided to take good care of her, and this means I will take good care of her.”

His lips are back on yours. He silences your protests and anger with his lips, swallowing every bad word as your fingers tangle in his hair. Bucky wraps his arms around you to lift you off your feet and help you wrap your legs around him.

“I hate you so much,” you growl against his lips before kissing him again. You close your eyes for a second, ignoring the voice telling you not to play with fire. You’ll get burned, but you don’t care…

[yanderedrabbles]

Hi! Btw It’s my first time on this blog & Love your scenarios! Just wanted to Ask in general: would Yandere military contractor ever be amused by an mc who’s very willing or will he want more of a struggle from them? 💝

Yandere! Military Contractor x Affectionate Reader

Hmm, I've said before that he's the kind of guy who takes what he wants from you regardless. But no matter how monstrous, he's still a man. Deep down, he wants you to want him back.

The thing that scares him though? The inherent vulnerability that brings. He's used to covering all his bases, used to squashing down his emotions to get the job done - to the point where he's numb and dull to almost anything. Admitting, even to himself, that he needs you in that way? Absolutely not happening.

Even when he was watching you - weeks spent on the roof of the building across from your apartment, hours parked outside your work - he always told himself it was just curiosity. Just an itch that he needed to scratch. He'd feel better once he had his hands on you, that's all. He'd stop thinking about fucking you once he got it out of his system.

Such a great liar that he doesn't even realise when he's doing it to himself. The second he had you - skin on skin, your throat under his teeth - he told himself he'd keep you just a little longer. Just to really work out his frustration. Gotta get his fill so when it's over he doesn't get the craving again.

But he's never full enough.

No matter how much he's had you - crying or whimpering or even begging him not to stop - it's never enough. There's this thing inside him that always wants more, wants it different. On your back, flipped onto your stomach, up against the wall with your forehead in the crook of his neck, begging, crying, laughing. All of it. All the time.

He holds you at night and tells himself tomorrow, I'll let her go tomorrow. But tomorrow never quite seems to come.

When you start wanting him back, kissing him, pressing against him at night, he isn't sure what to think. You're clever. This could all just be a trick.

Showing him affection just makes him sink his teeth in deeper, makes him fuck you harder, makes him double lock the doors everynight. Makes him want to break you under him because how can you be so cruel? Giving him what he's wanted all along but doesn't deserve? He lives in fear of you taking it back, changing your mind.

Fucking you so rough that you're sobbing, snarling in your ear that he'll be nice if you say 'I love you.' Liar. It just makes him worse.

[igetnosleep]

It’s like having a puppy

Had a thought in my head about Leon just being cuddly, also needed to get this out of my drafts

You’re at the point in your relationship where Leon practically lives with you. His apartment key jingles next to yours when he fiddles for motorcycle key. It’s bearable a sanctuary away from work away from the lonely little hovel he had the nerve to call a home.

It was barely livable his room was always a mess alcohol was in reach when he needed to drink away a hangover. Yours smelled nicer always had a candle ready from when you’d go shopping.

Glasses on when you couldn’t read the prices and hand it to him like his was any better.

Today was a hard day keys hitting the wooden door as he jiggled the old lock and managed to get it open only for him to find you sat in front of the tv laying on the couch watching a rerun of whatever movie you could quote at this point.

Toeing off his shoes and taking off his jacket he didn’t hesitate to get in pulling the blanket off of you, earning a whine from you “Leon-“ “shh no need to get crabby with me.” You felt his hand flatten on your stomach “don’t-“ you warned only for him to squish the belly fat you had earning him a kick on the shin.

Leon quickly wrapped his arms around you laughing when you tried to do the same to him hiding his face against the crook of your neck kissing sensitive skin there and playfully biting that caused you to try and wiggle away from him.

“Is this you asking for attention?” He chuckled against your neck “how’d you know?” “Just a hunch.” He laughed softly thumb circling your shoulder as he snuggled closer humming softly

“You think you’re being cute?” You asked glancing over your shoulder eyebrow raised as his hand played with the waistband of your shorts.

“I am adorable actually.” He hummed looking at you properly as you played with his shirt following the stitching easily as you kissed his nose.

“How was your day?” You asked and he huffed shaking his head. “Stupid.” He murmured, bad but it could have been worse as he settled his weight on you, your fingers carding through his hair as he peeked up at you kissing your cheek.

“Hey..I love you.”

He nudged your cheek asking you to look at him as you did he didn’t think twice as he nuzzled your neck.

You couldn’t help bur smile pressing your lips against his temple in a lingering kiss.