#could also be that im incredibly lucky with my skin genetics

[tr1ppykay]

anytime someone talks about the "uncomfortable" parts of testosterone puberty and how its normal to be annoyed about certain things because even cis boys were bothered by the "icky stuff" im like. wait yall aren't getting massive euphoria from smelling like a locker room, forehead breakouts and having a hairy ass ?

[punchmedanny]

Chicago II July 25, 2018

Alright strap yourselves in cuz this is gonna be a long ass post WITH SPOILERS for Interactive Introverts. I will mark where spoilers begin if you want to read about pre show stuff. If you don't want any spoilers whatsoever, don't feel obligated to read this even if we're buddies! Feel free to send me an ask/dm instead 😅

Alright folks, let's go!

Playing the Waiting Game

I was supposed to get to the venue at 4 for m&g, but I got there before 3 because a) i'm terrified of being late and b) my uber driver made excellent time.

The venue was not open yet, so my bf and I walked to a nearby mall. We passed by the tour buses (presumably dnp's plus other performers'). There was a group of people hanging around them looking v stalkerish (please don't hang around the buses before the show)

We got back to venue around 3:50 and waited in line outside till 4 when the venue let us in. We were near the middle of the line, so if you want to be closer to the front, get there sooner lol

Turns out I was behind the lovely @noodlephil in line (although I didn’t know till after!)

Two internet friends were meeting for the first time and crying (it was adorable)

Inside, there was a table with staff that checked and marked our tickets then gave us silver paper wristbands

We got in a second line where we had a bag check (our venue allowed sealed water bottles, but that might vary) and were scanned by a wand metal detector. After that, staff scanned our tickets 

We went to a third line which was the actual line for m&g and were told the m&g itself would start around 4:30

Marianne came by and said we would be waiting a bit longer for "latecomers" (im p sure dnp were the latecomers because most people were there at that point haha)

Marianne walked like a frickin goddess and her voice was beautiful

She made a speech giving us a rundown of how m&g would work, which I recorded

The m&g area was set up in the lobby to the side of the theatre doors

Dan and Phil entered from our left (towards the back of the theate)

They jogged across the m&g backdrop where we could see them better and waved. Dan did the cutest bouncy jump ever while waving. He stayed out longer than Phil

There was a table to set your bag on as you approached the backdrop

The music was loud af and there was NO WAY to see or hear other people's m&g - it was v private even though there were tons of people

Marianne was at the very front of the line and asked what she could do to help. I was like uhhh (because I'm eloquent like that) and she asked if we had anything for them to sign. My bf had golf balls lmao and gave them to her. I said I wanted to take a Polaroid for them to sign. She had me turn the camera on because apparently they’d had issues with Polaroid cameras in the past

I thanked her for the way everything was being run and joked a bit while we waited

When it was our turn, the people in front of us were completely gone (I repeat: v private). Marianne gestured and verbally told us to go on in

Meeting Dan and Phil

Phil was wearing his red jacket and good vibes t-shirt just like the beginning of "week in the life" He welcomed us with open arms and I went in for the Phil Hug. Wow. Phil is an excellent hugger and his arms felt a lot stronger than I imagined. And, yes, he waited for me to let go first

As soon as I let go of Phil, I stepped to the side and and looked at Dan. He was wearing his II denim jacket over a white t-shirt. He also had his arms wide for a hug. And lemme tell you, that boi has a fuckin wingspan. Dan gave a more gentle hug than Phil and we let go at like the same time

I am not a hugger and wasnt even 100% sure before I went in that I would hug them tbh

After the hugs, I stepped back and took them both in that's what she said. My initial impression was confidence and class. Literally, the most confident people I've ever encountered irl

Everyone says they're tall, but they are, as my bf said, taller than advertised. He's 6'2 and still looked up to both of them. I feel like they're both close to the next inch up honestly

They are wide. Like we've all noticed the Phil is wide, but Dan is too! They are literal giants

The cameras do NOT do them justice. Phil looks his age irl and I mean that in the sexiest way possible. He does actually have pores and tiny wrinkles (gasp), but I think they only make him more attractive. He oozes understated masculinity. But he also has serious nerd energy and idgaf attitude. Basically, he seems kind of badass

Dan looked flawless. Like I know every so often people wonder about if he wears makeup and all imma say is either he does OR he has the best damn skin care routine and/or genetics ever. He looks like someone after they use a filter

I'd say dan is suave and phil has swagger

(I'm about to sound real fucking weird) They both had such strong auras or energy or whatever you want to call it. It was palpable and BIG - like it extended off of them a couple feet. Dan's felt more static-y, while phil's felt more like balloon about to burst. It merged together between them to where I couldn't tell where one stopped and the other started

Marianne handed Phil the golf balls and he and Dan just stared at them in his hand in confusion for a second then Phil said "golf balls?" before my bf explained it was because they were the caddy lads. They chuckled and Dan said it was "the only series that has any value"

I am now the proud (?) owner of photos and video of phil holding two balls in his hand and I feel really weird about it

Dan asked if I had anything for them to sign, so I told him I wanted to take a Polaroid to which Dan replied, "D'ya want me to attempt the rare Polaroid selfie?"

Then I actually gently teased Dan (!?!?) because I'm a little shit lol I said, "I successfully did one this morning, so I hope you can"

They both seemed mildly amused and he did the thing where he touched his chest lightly in mock offense and said, "Well, let's see"

Tbh I think this was why I got genuine smiles in my pic

Dan said, "Beautiful" and Phil said "Amazing" lol (it really was tho)

Dan described the signature he'd be doing as "the tiniest little dan" and he used the highest voice ever

Phil's signature was so bad im pretty sure dan laughed at it lmao

Dan offered another selfie with my phone (i love him)

I shook their hands before I left and they seemed surprised, but appreciative. They both had excellent handshakes: firm, but not too hard. They both had soft, warm hands with Phil's being about average and Dan's being warmer than average

Overall, they were incredibly kind and professional. The vibe to be was sort of like talking to a boss who isn't your direct boss at a work party: fun, but still guarded

The saying goes "Never meet your heroes," but whoever said that obviously never met dan and phil. This was one of my happiest memories of all time

1500+ word description of the meeting including a sommelier worthy account of how the boys smell

And here’s the (real shit) video of my m&g

The Pre-Show

After meeting the bois, we were immediately given our goodie bags (one of them was double stuffed, lucky me)

Staff asked if we’d be staying in the theatre or not. Upon telling them we’d be leaving, they let us know we’d need to scan out so we could re-enter later

We bought merch (tie-dye/marbled look tee, long sleeved tee, and denim jacket). The line was basically non-existant, so if you have VIP 100% get your merch at this time

We scanned out and were told we could re-enter at 6 along with general admittance ticket holders

We had dinner then got back around 6:10. There was no line this time and we went through security and ticket scanning again

There were so many people everywhere and everyone was so cute! Why are we such a good looking fandom??? The line for merch was EXTREMELY long. RIP those folks

So was the line for the restrooms (and multiple men’s rooms were turned into ladydoors women’s restrooms)

We got 2 drinks (both for me) then went to our seats. We were front and center - I could literally touch the stage with my shoe from my seat. At this time I met @phandommom and @crunchytoasted1

The pre-show music was loud af where I was seated (I actually put in ear plugs lol). Lots of people were dancing and I got to witness crunchytoast dance to “Ladydoor” live which was a treat. At one point various people were running across the theatre with various LGBT+ flags to plenty of cheers. ���Twas glorious. People did the whole waving the phone flashlights thing and sang along during “Welcome to the Black Parade”

My bf got me 2 more drinks

Showtime! 

THIS IS WHERE THE SPOILERS START!!!

It was so, so weird to see them onstage after having the m&g. I legit wanted to climb onstage and like be close again, but, ya know, I didn’t cuz I know what’s socially acceptable

We were called Susan. Classic

Phil was wearing waffle socks. As in socks with tiny waffles all over them

We sacrificed Phil to Satan and Dan died in a furry nightclub

None of mine or my bf’s answers got chosen and I’m a bit salty lol

We sacrificed Dan (the only correct choice fite me)

At intermission the line for the bathrooms was sooooo long omg. I got myself 2 more drinks at this point and called @h-owllslide to gush about the show. I spilled one of my drinks on my bf a little when I sat back down.

Danny was 3 centimeters away from loosing his dick and he got paint on his shoe. He seemed legit irked lol

Nick Jonas was in Dan’s box, but I don’t recall the other two cuz that was the only one that mattered imo

I got a piece of the sign and when they threw it into the audience it was a bit disturbing how everyone tore into it like a swarm of pirahnas

They wore Cubs baseball shirts over their usual shirts during the rap/song finale which was absolutely precious. I LOVED the finale so fucking much - it was magnificent

END SPOILERS!!!

Closing Thoughts

I wish I hadn’t drank so much (6 wines for those of you keeping track at home). I was getting real embarrassing by the end (as in screaming excitedly too much/ too often) and I don’t remember it as clearly as I wish I did. I was just freaking tf out and my anti-anxiety meds weren’t cutting it

I was struggling incredibly hard not to disassociate the entire time

I wish I could go to another show. It was so fun!

The following day, I had a major mood drop. If you’re prone to this, maybe have a plan to hang with someone and do something nice, but lowkey the next day

This was literally the most fun thing I’ve done in at least two years and was one of my happiest memories ever. We’re talking patronus conjuring levels of happy

If you can go, go. If you can’t, don’t feel too bad. It was EXTREMELY intense and not for everyone (especially m&g). Plus they are putting it up later, which I’m looking forward to because I think I��ll be able to better absorb it

Please feel free to ask me anything about the show! I’d love to go on about it lol

[itsnotnicetosnooponpeople]

swoopedeedoop (21 Sept 2018)

so hello fRIEND n F0es

im back bitches!!!!!!!

First week of classes at uni, i’m thinking of using this to keep track of my life once again (~: let’s see how long this one lasts! 

So far, very little actually happening and a lot of emotions. Glasgow tends to have that effect on me. Berke was a lot happening and less emotions, or rather emotions being held off like a cold until it finally hits when u stop for a second and let it properly sink its fangs into u.

I’m celebrating friendships, in all the various ways it creeps up to u and cements itself into ur life as something u can feel like u r physically leaving behind but never neglect because u will always want to come back to it, some time. some friendships that i really appreciate, in the sense that they are genuinely supportive and give each other room to grow: sarah silverman & jimmy kimmel (p loveable for white people), tyler the creator & frank ocean (poptarts) & my friendships w people who r far far away but v luved.

ok so SO so sos osO

living w martina has been really chill so far. She cried about her mom yesterday and I don’t want to talk about it too much because I don’t feel like she is comfortable yet talking about her emotions in detail. But, she feels better today. And that’s great. She’s sick though and I’m some type of sleep deprived, or my body is battling the sad weather, one or the other. All I know is that my hair is fluffy and soft, but my skin is yucky. (And this is after i’ve put on THREE masks in the past week.)

Yesterday, had a pretty good day of lectures. Came back to talk to Martina and wanted to nap, but didn’t get a chance to. Was p tired because my body naturally wakes up at 7am every day (jetlag?) and I slept at 1am, meaning I only got 6h of sleep. My eyebags r designer at this point and it just reminds me of ziggy n her insistence of aegyo-sal till her friend shut her down and she felt sorry for me and WHAT DO YOU EVEN SAY TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? It’s genetic, my momma has it too, but i work with it. Somedays, when I’m incredibly well-rested, I look p fuckin amazing and lifted and the stark difference is what i live for. So yeah, get there. ok ive rambled off into banality. point of the matter is, i didn’t get the chance to do the work i wanted to, after all. I just watched bojack and figured out some organisational stuff out. By the way, bojack is PHENOMENAL. that one episode with the free churros wow! wow. wooooooooow. WOW. so much to unpack and i will definitely be rewatching that, the same way i rewatch the season 4 princess carolyn episode. im a sucker for sadness wrapped in humour and silliness. and boy does bojack horseman know how to suckerpunch me int eh gut for it. i miss andrea and how we bonded over the shared trauma of watching it. There is a weird understanding u reach w someone when u know they enjoy the same emotional cathartic torture peppered w moments that aren’t wins, but brief relief from the emotional kfiszJDNLXOZVapfejWDSA that is bojack that builds an almost instant solidarity. yknow? First andrea and then harmony, two roommates who get me on some typa level. I’ve been lucky.

well the summary of all that was that i did none of the work i was supposed to do today. and that i nodded off many times during death of stalin last night w martina and made aglio olio for us both. and that i slept at 11.30 and woke at 7.30 but it is 9.30 now and i have not done any work yet. It’s not catastrophic, but that’s how i find myself here typing this. Because I want to keep myself accountable to do my work and stay ahead of the game so that I don’t fuck anything up. Having a wild year in berkeley (A “gap year” as mummy says, which feels unfair but also kind of true) means I really have to step it up this year. And it’s gonna be hard because wow i miss having funfunfunfunfun, but also important to me and something i really do want. So yeah, first class honours here I come. 

I’ve told myself not to overcommit myself and focus on building a good home and resting well. Doing things ahead of time and not making myself suffer every end of semester. Taking the time to devote to people I’ve felt like I neglected in the past year but love so much. So this is me!!!! Holding onto to spontaneity but trying to keep a firm grip on my commitments, both academic and personal. I’m gonna go bullet journal for the next half hour or so and then do a little bit of work before i get ready for class at 1pm. This year could be pretty good for me, it’s already been better than I thought it might be. Or maybe i’m just hyped up on coffee.