#could also be known as the Buck's mouth appreciation fic

[bekkachaos]

law and complete fucking disorder

E | Buddie | Lawyers AU | NOW COMPLETE! 44k

Eddie Diaz is a federal prosecutor for the DA's office in LA, and he's damn good at it. He's calm, collected, and works best under pressure. That is, until he faces off against the new guy on the LA scene, defence attorney Evan Buckley. He's cocky, sneaky, and manages to get his way in the courtroom more often than not. The worst part? He knows it.

The thing about Evan Buckley, is that he didn’t look like he belonged in a courtroom. Eddie sat on his side of the room, leaning back in his chair as he flipped through the materials again. The doors opened loudly, and he came bustling through, adjusting his collar as he pushed through the gate and slipped into his seat. Eddie looked up out of the corner of his eye and over to where he was pulling his own files out of his satchel. He wore a tight grey suit with a navy button up beneath it, no tie, tight enough that Eddie wondered how the buttons weren’t holding on for dear life. He was tall and broad with blonde curls cut short and gelled back, a crimson birthmark over his eyebrow, clashing brilliantly with striking blue eyes and white teeth that pulled up in a smile which just took over his face and lit him up like he was made of radiant sunshine. Eddie thought he looked more like a golden retriever than a cold and calculating lawyer. Buckley turned towards him and gave him a smile, nodding once in recognition before Eddie was clearing his throat and turning away, not wanting to give the man the satisfaction of knowing his eyes had been tracing his features for longer than they probably should have. Eddie had three consecutive cases with Buckley as his opposing chair, so he could finally see what Lena was talking about. They stood and stared ahead as the judge walked in and took his seat at the bench before the proceedings began. Buckley didn’t much look like he belonged in the courtroom, at least not until he opened his mouth.

read chap 1 on ao3

Legal Disclaimer: make no mistake, I know nothing about law or the courts, so it will never be clear as to whether the title refers to Buck and Eddie’s complete idiocy or my complete and utter cluelessness

[joelmillers-whore]

Breathless

summary: you are having a hard time focusing during sexy times with frankie, and he decides to try something to help you. 

word count: 1K 

series or one-shot or drabble 

warnings: 18+ explicit, minors DNI, frankie x female!reader, no mention of y/n, fingering, choking, language if you squint, not really a warning but frankie is a communication king in this

A/N: i’m in my frankie era, who knew, huh? anyway, i wanted to delve more into like breathplay and stuff but it sort of just morphed into this. i don’t know if i’m 1000% satisfied with this but i just needed to write some frankie filth for my own self lol. enjoy and don’t forget to support your local fic writer (reblogs are super appreciated and are only one more button to press, helps me out a ton). i will also link my kofi if you want to go that extra mile with support, i don’t mention that i have one often but just putting it out there :) 

tags: @hellishjoel @reddedmiller @morallyinept

ao3 | kofi

You were on cloud nine as Frankie fingered you. A layer of sweat and heat clung to your bare stomach, the muscle tensing and contracting the further in he went. His large and dexterous digits pumped into you faster, harder, reaching every angle that you needed him most, stroking your spongey walls with each harsh movement. 

You were closing in on your orgasm, on the precipice of falling. Down, down, down. Your body was humming, slack and arching off the bed as Frankie flicked his thumb over your clit, massaging and adding enough pressure for the volcano inside of you to finally erupt. 

But for some reason, it was like you were chasing a phantom. You couldn’t quiet your mind, get yourself to focus long enough to immerse yourself in Frankie and the moment between you, your orgasm just out of reach. 

You whined, your breath tumbling out of you harshly. You snapped your eyes shut, maybe if you closed off other distractions, you could finally come. You could feel your lower stomach begin to cramp, twisting and tightening, but it wasn’t enough. 

And it wasn’t from lack of effort. Frankie was doing everything right, it was just you who was having a problem getting there. 

“Frankie...”, you panted desperately, opening your eyes, the heaviness of your lids causing you to squint. 

He tempered his ministrations, not easing up completely, but slowing down as his eyes met yours. Frankie had always been attentive, had always known which of your buttons to press, and how to get you to finish as efficiently as possible. But right now, you needed more. 

He pecked your inner thigh, humming sweetly, “What do you need? Hm? Tell me what you need, baby”. 

Your mind was in a daze, a fucked-out, lust-induced daze, and you couldn’t quite articulate your needs as gracefully as Frankie wanted you to. 

“M-more”, is all you managed to stammer out. 

You could feel Frankie’s chest rumble with laughter against your thigh, the sound sparking something deep inside you. He removed his fingers from you with a squelch, the obscene sound bouncing off of the walls of the bedroom. 

Your hips bucked to chase his fingers, to chase the feeling of being so filled by him, a choked sob racking through you. 

Frankie’s smile was crooked as he climbed above you, shushing you and your needy request for him to put his fingers back inside of you. He peppered every exposed part of you with open-mouthed kisses. 

He started with your stomach, right above your belly button. You flinched from the contact, the softness a jarring contrast. Then your forearm, teeth scraping along the flesh, causing goosebumps to appear on the surface. And finally, your neck. His lips were silken, muted in how they scaled the expanse of your windpipe, the small divet at the base of it. 

He paid special attention to your neck and it was all the suggestion that you needed. 

“Frankie...”, you moaned, “Want you to...choke me”. 

Frankie’s slick-covered fingers ran up and down the column of your throat, teasing you, humming as he thought it over. 

“You sure?”, he asked, double-checking that you knew what you were asking of him. 

You nodded, vehemently, more than a little excited at the prospect of the calculated and shy Frankie choking you. You had only ever tried choking with Frankie once, and it had been a half-assed attempt on both of your parts. 

But now, you were willing to do anything to orgasm, willing to try anything. 

Frankie chuckled, low and gruff, “I need words, baby, or we’re not going to do it”. 

“Yes”, you whimpered, thrashing under him, impatient as shit, “Fucking choke me, Frankie”. 

He laughed breathlessly as he planted a chaste kiss on the corner of your mouth. 

“Squeeze my wrist if it becomes too much for you”, Frankie said, his final words before he placed his hand around your throat, his grip firm but not crushing. 

Your smaller hand clasped around his wrist, and you mentally prepared yourself to squeeze it as a non-verbal safeword if you needed it. 

Frankie dipped his head down, kissing you as the pressure on your throat increased, the airflow to your lungs restricting further and further, the addition of Frankie’s lips on yours doubling the lack of oxygen you were getting. 

He pulled back, his forehead resting on yours as one of his hands drifted back to your pussy, his other staying, squeezing your esophagus. He plunged three of his digits into your hole, the stretch burning and bordering on painful as he worked them to the hilt, knuckles scraping against your sensitive mound. Your body quivered from the combined stimulation. 

You squirmed away from Frankie’s touch, or toward it, you weren’t that sure at this point. You felt tingling wash over you, your head feeling almost weightless as his fingers continued to fuck into you, bringing your orgasm closer. 

His hand pressed harder on your throat, his strength now behind it, the intention more clear. He wanted you to see stars, and you were sure that you would. His brow shimmered with sweat, his thick bulge rubbing against your stomach. He was as turned on as you were. 

Your lungs hummed against the deprivation of oxygen, your brain becoming clouded as your vision dotted with black spots, the pleasure from his fingers driving into you again and again, and the pressure on your neck knocking you off the cliff. 

The moment your orgasm hit, your hand dropped from Frankie’s wrist, his hold on your throat releasing. The feeling was fast, fleeting, and intense as your body convulsed, wave after wave of electricity rocketing from deep inside of you. 

Frankie rubbed at the space he had his hand pressed into, his fingers splaying across the reddened skin. He was still stroking your clit, lightly, tenderly, as he helped you through the aftershocks of your orgasm. 

“How you feeling, baby?”, Frankie asked. 

You mumbled something incoherent, nodding your head, the lust-fog still very much present. 

He laughed, “I guess that’s a yes. We’ll definitely be doing more of that next time”.

[watchmegetobsessed]

The Hottest Avenger - Bucky Barnes

a/n: im warning you, i will probably not stop for a while with the bucky fics so... brace yourselves lol! also i wrote this before ep 5 came out so its placed in that time

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: TFATWS spoiler, some violence? nothing extreme

word count: 1.8k

summary: Being locked together with Sam and Bucky brings the worst out of you, picking on each other constantly. Following an arguement Bucky accidentally calls you his girlfriend in front of Sam when your relationship was supposed to be a secret.

masterlist

“Did you fucking eat the last dumpling?” you accuse Sam, holding up the empty takeout box where you thought were one more dumpling, one you’ve saved for yourself, but now it’s gone as Sam is eyeing you with his mouth full.

“Thought it was mine,” he mumbles, his words barely understandable from all the food in his mouth.

Taking a deep breath you’re trying not to jump at his throat right then and there. You’ve been locked up together all damn day in the trashy apartment across the street from the building where’s Zemo supposed to be hiding. Sharon had a tip about a possible place where he might be found, but you’ve been waiting to no avail for now. You’ve been growing stressed and impatient. You lost track of Karli and her people and now you can’t seem to find Zemo either. If it wasn’t for the Dora Milaje, you wouldn’t bother to be so after the asshole, but Bucky said if Ayo finds him first, he is dead and every useful information he holds goes to the grave with him so now you are forced to look for him. One failed mission has been following the other these days, that incompetent dickhead John is on the loose too after murdering that man in front of civilians and you feel like control has slipped out of your grip a long time ago. Now you’re stuck with Sam and Bucky in this crappy place, waiting by the window, watching out for Zemo and on top of everything… Sam ate your last dumpling.

Just when you’re about to snap at him, you feel a strong grip on your shoulder. You don’t have to look up to know it’s Bucky right behind you, but not just because he is the only other person in the room beside you and Sam, but also because you know his touch probably more than anyone. Only that most of the times it’s not your shoulder he is gripping…

It’s been going on for a long time between the two of you. Started with just some innocent flirting and you never thought it would grow into something more significant, but it did. And now you are officially in a relationship with none other than the Winter Soldier, only that no one else knows about it and you plan to keep it that way. You don’t need the teasing and jokes and the Avengers are known to be dicks sometimes, especially Sam.

Glancing up your eyes meet Bucky’s blue irises and he sends you a look that says “just let it go”, and though every fiber in you wants to whoop Sam’s ass, you let it slip.

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna get mad about a dumpling,” Sam chuckles as he chews on the food that you should be enjoying right now.

“I can get mad about whatever I want to,” you growl back, growing quite irritated of him at this point.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” he huffs under his breath, clearly not as bothered as he should be. Before you could do any harm in him, you leave your spot by the window, needing a breather from… well, from him.

“Hey, it’s still your turn!” he calls after you.

“I need a break,” you growl back.

“Get your ass back here, we agreed to switch every two hours!”

“Sam! I’m walking out because I’m way too tempted to punch you in the face right now!” you snap at him, losing your patience. He rises from his seat with a hard expression, not quite a fan of the way you just talked to him, but you couldn’t care less.

“You think you could actually throw one? Because last time we fought you couldn’t really get a hold of me,” he narrows his eyes at you, coming to stand tall in front of you, trying to intimidate you with how much taller and stronger he might be, but you both know you’re a better fighter.

“It’s easy to talk with your fancy tech stuff. Why don’t we see who wins in a simple battle?” you challenge him with faked boredom.

“Guys, stop. We should be looking out for Zemo, not tearing each other apart,” Bucky tries to end the staring contest, sticking his metal arm between the two of you in case any of you decides to launch at the other one.

“Then tell her to stop bitching!” Sam nods in your way.

“I’m not bitching, I’m just fed up with your bullshit!” you spat back at him, leaning closer, your chest coming in contact with Bucky’s extended arm.

“Don’t talk to her like that, Sam,” Bucky warns him, but Sam snorts dryly.

“Don’t tell me you are taking her side, she is throwing a fit for a fucking dumpling!”

“I’m not taking sides, just trying to settle this stupid disagreement here,” he defends himself and you roll your eyes.

“You can’t tell me she is not overreacting it, Buck!” Sam laughs in disbelief, taking a step back, dropping the act that he wants to fight you. He probably knows he would come out as a ridiculous loser. “This is fucking insane, I’m not in the mood to deal with your shit, Y/N,” he shakes his head.

“Hey!” Bucky snaps at him. “Don’t talk to my girlfriend like that, okay?!”

“I’m just—wait, what?!” Sam’s eyes widen and you freeze too.

Your dumbass boyfriend didn’t just out the two of you, did he? What else is about to come?! Sam’s shock turns into a cocky grin as his eyes shift between you and Bucky.

“You guys… you guys are fucking?” he asks with a delightful laugh and you close your eyes sighing, already tired of his shit.

“That’s not—We’re not fucking, I mean… It’s not like that,” Bucky stutters, but it’s just making it worse. He looks at you with terror in his eyes, but you are way too drained to deal with it the right way.

“Yes, we are fucking! And we are in a mature adult relationship! Get yourself over it!” you bark at Sam before turning around and walking out.

You faintly hear the two men talk inside, but you don’t make out the words. You don’t go too far, sitting on the steps leading up to the third floor. Soon enough you hear the door of the apartment open with a creak and a moment later Bucky shows up in your sight. He sits beside you, remaining silent for a little before speaking up.

“Sorry for running my mouth,” he mumbles, his head hanging low.

“It’s… fine,” you breathe out. Bucky fidgets with his fingers and you know he wants to touch you in any kind of way as a reassurance that it really is fine. You don’t want to hold a grudge, it was an accident, you’re just a little bummed it’s not gonna be just the two of you anymore. Reaching out you take his hand, the real one that’s flesh and meat and you lace your fingers together as he peeks at you, still reserved and hesitant.

“Is it really fine or are you just bottling it up?”

“It really is fine,” you chuckle softly and leaning closer you kiss his scruffy cheek. “The only reason I wanted to keep it a secret is because you know how vickery the guys can get. I just didn’t want them to pick on us.”

“They do it because they are just jealous,” he smirks playfully, his shoulder bumping against yours.

“Yeah? Of what?” A soft chuckle slips through your lips.

“That I scored the hottest Avenger,” he replies smugly and you can’t help but laugh with your head snapping back.

“I didn’t know you were fucking Thor!” you retort and immediately see his smirk vanish from his lips as he stares back at you, not enjoying your joke as much as you are.

“Thor? Really? Not this shit again, Y/N,” he narrows his eyes at you. Back when you were just skirting around each other, you loved pulling his leg, joking about how much you are into the hottest Avenger, aka Thor. He never appreciated it, usually earned you a tight-lipped smile before he mumbled “Tarzan’s got nothing on me” before walking away, leaving you laughing like a hyena.

“Come on, you know I’m more into super soldiers,” you grin, leaning closer as he pepper his sharp jawline with more small kisses.

“You know, it’s not the best thing to say to your boyfriend when there are now about eight more super soldiers running around,” he huffs.

“But none of them has a metal arm,” you point out, finally making him laugh.

“So that’s your kink? A vibranium arm?” he asks with faked shock and you curl your arms around his bicep, resting your chin on his shoulder.

“How haven’t you realized yet?” you chuckle. Bucky turns his head until his lips can capture yours in a sweet, lighthearted kiss that makes you forget about everything that’s been clouding over your mind these past days. All the failures, the mistakes and chaos fades into nothing, because you have him and he has you.

Walking back into the apartment Sam stares back at you, neither of you entirely sure how to act after what just happened. He then grabs his phone from the dusty table before holding it up.

“I could order some extra dumplings,” he offers and you crack a smile shaking your head. This was his peace offering, both of you knows he won’t straight up apologize for the way he talked, but this is already more than what you were expecting from him. Bucky must have had a few words with him before joining you outside.

“It’s all good.”

The three of you get back to work, taking your previous spots, returning to the task on hand as silence falls on the room once again. You catch Sam glancing at you and the Bucky and you can tell he is about to make a snarky comment on your relationship. And just as he is about to open his big mouth, Bucky moves to silence him, but you’re faster. With a simple move you throw Sam to the ground, keeping him down with your hand wrapped around his neck.

“Don’t even think about teasing, understood?” you hiss at him as he gasps for air, his hands wrapping around your wrist as he tries to fight you off, but you hold him a second longer to emphasize the importance of your words. Then you finally let go of him and he coughs for air, fixing him up from the floor as you simply walk back to your spot by the window.

“Hottest Avenger, huh?” he breathes out, revealing that he heard what you talked about out on the stairs. “More like the Avenger with the most anger issues…”

You just grin, glancing over at your boyfriend who is now standing with his arms crossed over his chest, not even bothered by his friend’s struggles on the floor as he smirks back at you, nodding proudly as if he was saying: “That’s my girl.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[t0wnspersonb]

Twin Bed (Tsukishima Kei x Reader)

Anonymous said:

are u taking requests rn? 🥺 ive read ur tsukki fics and i know to myself ur the only one who can write this request amazingly: tsukki sneaking in to his s/o’s room at night bc he misses her and he saw how cute she is in her pajamas but couldnt help getting turned on as well bc she is wearing shorts and an oversized shirt it also didnt help that her bed is for one person only ;) UR AN AMAZING AUTHOR AND NEVER STOP WRITING TSUKKI OR HAIKYUU SCENARIOS COS THE PPL NEED U

~~~

Word Count: 2,475

Rated: Explicit

Warnings: SMUT, my shit writing, bad language

~~~

Yoooo this is was legit so fun to write lmao. I hope I did your request justice anon and I appreciate your kind words!!! I know I have other requests sitting in my inbox and I will try and to get to them soon. I might be a bit inactive the next couple of weeks, I will be going vacation (I definitely fucking need it lol) this week and then I start classes again. RIP. I hope you guys enjoy this one and let me know what you think!:) I literally am at a lost for words with how amazing you guys are and how unproblematic you guys have been considering the bullshit that’s been going around in the community. I just want to reiterate that this is a safe and fun place for everyone, it is never my intention to make anyone uncomfortable and if I do please let me know so that I can apologize correctly for it! But to make things clear I will not tolerate any fuckery on this blog, I don’t have the energy nor the patience to deal with shit like that. We are all capable of being decent human beings to each other. No drama, no bullshit, just a fun and safe place for everyone that wants to be part of it. ANYWAY, enough of my ranting, please enjoy this filth and my shit writing lmao 😘😘😘💕💕💕💕

~~~

You frowned slightly as you looked at your phone, your eyes squinting against the harshness of the light. 

 Tsukishima had texted you, multiple times - at two in the morning - in fact. While you dearly adored your boyfriend of only five months, you didn’t exactly adore the fact that he woke you up at this time.

 Especially considering you had to be up in about five hours to get ready for an exam.

 You sighed through your nose as you tugged your blankets from your body and made your way to your door. 

 “Kei… it’s two in the morning…” You yawned, looking up at your tall boyfriend with sleepy eyes. “The dorm manager is going to get mad at me if she catches you here.” 

 “Well let’s not get caught then.” he drawled out, gold eyes flickering over your body. A blonde eyebrow arched up; “is that my shirt?”

 You blinked at him for a moment, not fully registering what he had just asked before a soft blush began to coat your cheeks.

 You were definitely wearing one of his shirts, a green Sendai Frogs shirt that was way too big for your body, given his tall stature. He had left the shirt at your dorm two weeks ago, and naturally you wore it to bed almost every night. 

 “No.” You said in a small voice, carefully playing with your fingers as you looked up at him through your lashes.

 A soft blush covered Tsukishima’s cheeks before he scoffed, his slender fingers reaching up to push his glasses back up his nose. “You’re a terrible liar. Looks good on you though.” he said, brushing past you to get into your room.

 You turned to see him plop himself onto your bed, and you couldn’t help but stare. It was a strange sight to see to say the least. His 6’4 frame was just a tad out of place in your room, especially sitting on your incredibly small bed. But more so he was out of place because, well, your boyfriend was beautiful. It was like a Greek god decided to pay you a secret visit before the sun came up, ready to disappear at any moment. 

 Tsukishima’s hair was tousled perfectly, the tight black shirt he wore complimented him perfectly, emphasizing his broad shoulders and thick biceps. You felt your mouth go dry as you realized that he was wearing grey sweatpants, clinging low on his hips.

 How could someone look so good at two in the morning?

 “Are you just going to stare at me the entire time?” He called out, his back leaning against the wall your bed was pushed up against, his phone in hand. 

 “You’re the one that wanted to come over.” you frowned, locking your door before making your way towards the bed. “You’re taking up all the space.” You whined. 

 He rolled his eyes before his long legs parted, creating a space on the bed. “Come here.” 

 You felt your face burn even more, a strange shyness overtaking you at the intimate position he wanted you in. 

 It wasn’t like you had never been close to Tsukishima before, you guys had been intimate, many times... but then why were you so nervous all of a sudden?

 “What are you waiting for?” he asked, a blonde eyebrow quirked up.

 “Shut up.” you grumbled, carefully climbing over one of his long legs. You settled yourself against him, your upper body fitting easily between his legs, your back resting against his stomach and your head gently pressing into his strong chest.

 Resting against Tsukishima was far better than resting in your tiny bed. 

 One of his arms carefully wrapped around your waist, his large hand gently pressing against your stomach, the other hand held his phone in front of both of you, a volleyball game overtaking the screen.

 It was silent for a moment, both of you absorbed in the video. It had only been fifteen minutes into the game when Tsukishima began looking over your body. His gold eyes taking in your bare legs before flickering up. He zeroed in on the exposed skin of your hip, the shirt you wore had been pulled up slightly. 

 He swallowed thickly, arousal beginning to spike in his blood. Christ, it wasn’t like you were naked right now; it wasn’t like you were wearing anything incredibly enticing, but… fuck. Tsukishima began wracking his brain for when the last time it was that he had seen you. That’s right, it had been a while, a little over two weeks in fact. 

 His sudden desire was because he had just missed you right? He couldn’t possibly be turned on from the simple fact that you were in the shortest shorts known to man, or the fact that you were in his shirt and you weren’t…. Christ, you weren’t wearing a fucking bra. 

 He could see your hardened nipples through the shirt despite how baggy it was on your small body. 

 “Can you hold the phone, my arm is getting tired.” he said quietly, hoping that you hadn’t felt his hardening member against your back just yet. 

 “Really Kei?” you rolled your eyes but took his phone nonetheless, your eyes completely glued to the screen. The game was just beginning to get interesting.

 It was silent again.

 But this time, Tsukishima trailed his hand down to your exposed skin, carefully sliding his fingers under your shirt, gently tracing against your soft skin.

 You sighed softly at his touch, your body wiggling slightly against him to get more comfortable. Tsukishima took that as a good sign, his hands traveling further up, the rough pads of his fingers felt incredible against your skin; goosebumps erupting over your body.

 You shivered slightly, desire spiking in the pit of your stomach as his long fingers began moving further up, until they rested just below your breasts. Your breath hitched, your heart thumping loudly in your ears now. 

 His fingers carefully dragged against the soft underside of your breasts. You felt Tsukishima shift, his upper body sitting up slightly, his lips brushing gently against the shell of your outer ear, hot breath rustled your hair. 

 “Who’s winning?” he murmured, lips grazing against your ear before carefully brushing down towards your neck.

A soft whimper tore through your lips. “It’s uhmm… uh - o-oh Kei.” your eyes fluttered shut as his tongue darted across your skin, tasting you before biting down softly. You could feel your cunt clenching at his actions, your bundle of nerves suddenly throbbing to be touched.

 “What was that?” he teased softly, the hand that was gently caressing the underside of your breasts suddenly moved up, carefully cupping your entire breast, long fingers gently tugging at your hardened nipple.

 You moaned loudly before immediately dropping his phone, both hands clasping your mouth shut tightly.

 “Oh, that’s right, if your dorm manager caught me here, she would be furious right? I don’t want you getting in trouble, so you best be quiet hmm?” he murmured softly against your skin before pinching your nipple hard between two fingers.

 Your breath hitched, your eyes squeezing shut as pleasure rippled through your body.

 “But you make the cutest noises when you're turned on.” he said, his voice incredibly quiet and calm, despite the growing hardness that was pressing into your back now. “You’re in quite the dilemma, aren’t you?”

 His other hand suddenly trailed down, his fingers curling against your through your shorts. 

 “Fuck… you’re soaked.” he groaned quietly, feeling your arousal leaking through your panties and staining your shorts.

 He suddenly leaned back once again, your head once again resting against his strong chest. But despite his composure, his heart was racing just as much as yours. 

 He suddenly bucked his hips up, his cock rubbing against your back. A soft sigh escaped his lips, the hand that was groping your breast pulled out of your shirt and tangled into your hair, gently tugging and forcing you to arch your neck, staring up at the blonde male now.

 His gold eyes held nothing but lust now as he stared down at you with half-lidded eyes. 

 You had never seen a more gorgeous man in your entire life. 

 “What do you want?” he asked, his voice deep with arousal. But before you could say anything, the hand that was grasping you through your clothes suddenly tugged your shorts and panties to the side, long fingers brushing softly against your weeping slit.

 Tsukishima exhaled loudly, his cock jumping against your back as he felt just how wet you were. 

 “Fuck…” he whispered quietly, and carefully slid his finger to the top of your cunt, his finger gently pressing down against your clit.

 A jolt of pleasure erupted through your body, your mouth falling open in a silent plea as your eyes fluttered shut.

 He began rubbing delicate circles against you, a soft pleasure beginning to build up in your lower stomach, your hips rocking up carefully with his movements.

 “K-Kei…” you trembled, your hand reaching down and grasping at his forearm helplessly. 

 “Are you close?” he asked, his finger pressing down just a little bit harder, but that was all that you needed to get your legs shaking.

 The way he touched you… the way that he took care of you… it was no wonder you were completely head over heels for him.

 He was just too good.

 You nodded helplessly against his chest, and then suddenly he pulled his hand away from your dripping cunt, a soft cry of distress tearing through your lips. Why did he… but you were so close…

 “Can you move away for a second?” he asked quietly, gently pushing you forward. You shakily scooted away from him and heard the rustling of sheets and clothes. You twisted your head to look back and - your mouth went dry.

 Tsukishima was still resting against the wall, his lower body easily sprawled out against your bed as you still sat between his long legs, but this time… this time… he laid with one hand behind his head, the other was easily grasping his member, lazily sliding up and down his shaft. His grey sweatpants were bunched up around the tops of his thighs, his black shirt pulled up slightly, exposing his lower stomach and the perfect lines of his Adonis belt.

 “Come here.” he demanded, you turned to crawl over to him, fully intending on taking him into your mouth- his hand flew up, halting your movements. “No. I want to be inside you.”

 Your lips parted slightly as you nodded in a daze, your cunt squeezing around nothing at his words. But before you could sink down on top of his cock, he stopped you once more. 

 “Turn around.” he commanded. Your lips trembled softly, your hands gripping his upper thighs as you situated yourself on top of him, you could feel his fingers tugging your shorts and underwear to the side again, and then something blunt and thick began rubbing up and down your soaked entrance. 

 “Don’t tease me Kei, please.” you whimpered out, but before you could plead further, he grabbed your hips, forcing you to sink all the way down onto his member in one movement.

 You gritted your teeth tightly, biting back the loud shout that wanted to escape your throat at the sudden intrusion, at the force of him already hitting the most devastating depths within you.

 Fuck you had never been quite this full, never had someone quite this deep until you met Tsukishima.

 “Shit.” he cursed, growling slightly, his grip on your hips tightening as his eyes fluttered shut as your tight heat engulfed him completely.

 He could never get used to this. 

 After a moment of adjusting to the new intrusion you began rocking your hips, carefully sliding back and forth, your lips forming into a silent o as pleasure jolted through your body at each drag of his cock against your walls.

 A soft whimper tore through your lips as he began grabbing handfuls of your ass, his fingers gripping tightly at the soft flesh, kneading and pulling your cheeks apart. Before his hand settled on pulling your shorts and underwear further away, his eyes taking in the obscene way your cunt swallowed his cock.

 The quiet room was filled with the sound of rustling sheets, the wet noises of your arousal leaking through your stuffed cunt as Tsukishima slid in and out of you, the soft and breathless moans that escaped your lips, and the soft grunts of Tsukishima as he fought back his release. He couldn’t cum yet, not until you did.

 But he could tell that you were close by the desperate way you rocked your hips, faster, sloppier, chasing for a release.

 “Cum for me.” he demanded, his large hand cracking down against your ass. Your hand came up, stifling the loud gasp that wanted to escape your lips, your cunt clenching tightly around him. You could feel it then, the pleasure mixed with the sharp pain, the tightness in your lower stomach finally releasing. 

 “Fuck that’s it.” He murmured, watching as you trembled above him, his hands coming down to grip at your waist, forcing you to move faster against him as he began chasing his own release.

 Tsukishima gritted his teeth tightly before carefully shoving you off of his member, a soft cry escaping your lips as you collapsed on top of his legs. He gripped his member tightly, shooting thick ropes of his warmth all over your raised bottom, staining your shorts completely.

 “Shit hold on.” he panted slightly, carefully moving himself from under you. He tucked his softening member back into his sweatpants before moving towards your closet, grabbing a towel and making his way back to you. His gentle hands easily cleaning you up before tugging your shorts and panties off, replacing them with fresh ones.

 You looked up at him sleepily as he began situating you both on your small body, half of your body resting on top of his as he drew the blankets over your guys’ form. 

 “You suck Kei. If I fail this exam because I’m too tired to focus, you have to buy me ramen.” you mumbled against his chest, your eyes drooping as sleep began to tug at your mind.

 “If you fail this exam just because you’re tired then that just proves you didn’t actually study for it. You should’ve been able to retain that information regardless.” he said, fingers gently running through your hair.

 “You suck.” you sighed again, softly nuzzling your face into his chest.

 A smile tugged at his lips, but he didn’t say anything else. 

 Not that you would have listened anyway, considering that you were knocked out now. 

 Tsukishima’s body was definitely more comfortable than your twin bed. 

[buckyownsmylife]

Fuel to the fire - chapter 1 (prologue)

The one where Andy isn’t the type of man you can deny, even if what he wants is for you to become his mistress.

Andy Barber is a feared mobster and your best friend’s husband. There were more than enough reasons never to look at him twice. But when he lets you know that he wants you, there’s little you can do to stop the terrible trainwreck you know it’s coming your way.

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

Looking around your best friend’s living room, you patted yourself on the back for all the help you had given her in preparation for this evening. It would be her and her husband’s third anniversary and although you didn’t exactly understand why this was something that she wanted to celebrate with a heck of a lot of people, you could appreciate all the care she put in the event nonetheless.

It was the same care she put into every single event she had organized since she got married to Andy. It was funny to think back on the girl you knew from college - how different she was from the socialite who was now mingling with other trophy wives. You were pretty sure her younger self would be unforgiving of the personality she had assumed after the wedding, but you weren’t so shallow.

You could understand the need to fit in, the pressure she was under from having married so quickly, to someone from such a high status. Andy Barber was well-known throughout all of Boston, of course - but perhaps his status would be best described as infamous. He was feared by many, yet known by few, and even being his wife’s best friend didn’t grant you much personal interaction with him at all.

In fact, excluding the ceremony, you probably had seen him three times, all of them in his and Erica’s celebrations of their union. You were pretty sure the reason she had thrown herself into this hobby of organizing these sorts of events was precisely to fill the empty place where her husband should be every night, but perhaps that’s life when you agree to marry one of America’s greatest mobsters.

You were still unsure how that even happened, anyway. Although, you couldn’t help but envy her somewhat. Marrying straight out of college to a man of his power meant she didn’t have student loans to worry about, while you were left to count every dime to keep a roof over your head.

Sometimes you wondered if life had really treated her so well as to make her completely blind to your struggles. Of course, you knew you could have asked her for money anytime - you were pretty sure she’d give you some, perhaps even without asking for it back (lord knows she didn’t need it) but it was just too humiliating.

Besides, her husband intimidated you. In the few times you had to brush shoulders with him, his unwavering stare and undeniably good looks had you weak in the knees, and you didn’t find it all that weird when you looked over the other side of the room to find her resting against him. Anyone needed some sort of support when they were around that man.

Still, the scene felt a little bit out of the ordinary, and it took you some time to realize that in all the time they’d been together, you had never once seen him give her a loving caress - not even at their wedding celebration. But if she was happy, who were you to worry about what was very clearly a picture-perfect life?

The sound of your phone beeping tore you out of your thoughts. Looking down, you realized you’d gotten a message from the guy you’d been talking to for the last few days.

I think we’ve established there’s something here.

You bit your lip, pondering over the steamy messages you’d been exchanging. When you signed up on this app to sell some raunchy pictures for a few dollars, you didn’t expect to attract so much attention as to have someone offering you to pay you some pretty big bucks to keep your images sent exclusively to him.

You also didn’t expect him to be so intriguing.

You’re right. There definitely is.

It didn’t take much longer for him to type back.

So why don’t you send me something nice to seal our deal, baby?

Glancing up, you scanned the room to check if anyone had noticed you standing in a corner, subtly clenching your thighs to alleviate some of the tension you were feeling. Surely, no one would notice if you slipped to the bathroom to send him a thank you gift for the few hundred dollars he’d already sent you. Even Andy was distracted, texting on his phone - probably making some more than sketchy business deals.

Give me 5

You knew dinner was still far from being served when you slipped back into the room - or tried to, at least, because just as you turned the corner in the hallway to get back to the main room, you bumped into what seemed like a wall of flesh.

“Easy, there.” You knew that voice. Your head instinctively snapped up to meet deep brown eyes that looked down at you with amusement written all over them. Andy, you realized, not entirely sure why the proximity had your brain completely scrambled. You wanted to associate it with fear, but the way you shivered lit up some warning signs in the back of your mind.

So you quickly tried to push yourself away, wanting him to know it was an accident. Of course, you knew Andy wasn’t someone to lose his temper that easily, but being in the enemies list of a known mobster wasn’t amongst your goals in life.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Barber,” you made sure to say, but he just chuckled and kept his hands on your hips, his thumbs rubbing them. Lingering.

“It’s alright, Y/N.” You never had the courage to address him by his first name, but he never once referred to you as anything else, and you couldn’t help but think the sound of it falling from his lips was just lovely.

Also, what the hell was this cologne he was wearing and why did he smell so fucking good? It made your mouth water and the alarms in the back of your had rose in volume, making you cringe.

You felt his stare burning you before he even said it.

“It seems like you’re allergic to bras, huh?”

You knew your nipples were showing, the room was too cold and with his proximity, you couldn’t help but feel a certain tension in the air, even if it was one-sided. But why would he point that out? Was he toying with you?

You felt like a prey under his stare, kept hostage by his hands, but just as the thought settled, he let you go.

“Pay more attention to where you’re going, hm?” And then he left in the direction you had been in, not even looking back your way while you just stood there, trying to get your heart under control.

What the hell was wrong with you? You really needed to stop before this got any weirder.

And yet, as you got back into mingling with people who couldn’t care less about you, you couldn’t help but think that Andy seemed exactly like the type of man who could hurt you and still have you begging for more.

[lozzypoz321]

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in so long!!! But I am quite surprised that my current 200 followers (wow) haven’t unfollowed by now but this is my 200 celebration fic even though I’m a bit late- also I’m sorry if this sucks I just haven’t written in ages! Please bare with me! Kindly proofread by @canadianhufflepuffavenger 💗

Warnings: angst, past break up

Your real dad

-

Steve tightened his grip around your draw-string bag that he had convinced you to part ways with, as you, him and your mother made your way into the tower. He was dreading the reunion with Bucky after not seeing the team for about 2 weeks. You were practically bouncing on your feet to see your real dad. While Steve was there watching you treat your dad like a hero but not even spare him a glance.

Your family relationship was complicated yet simple at the same time: you hated your mom but tolerated her, loved your dad with all your heart, hated your stepdad as much as he tried, treated Peter like your brother and Thor exactly like your uncle.

Why did you hate your stepdad so much?

Well, first of all, he pretended like he was your real dad and tried to do all of the things with you that you and Bucky did together. Second, he always stole all your moms attention and made you feel like you were alone (whether he meant it or not)

The elevator door dinged, indicating that the three of you had reached your floor where currently Bucky, Thor, Tony, Natasha and Sam were hanging out, waiting for your “family”. The others were in the kitchen, trying to get a sneak taste of the food that had been ordered.

“Dad!” You yelled and raced up to the super soldier, he broke out into a grin and picked you up off the ground to invade you into a bone-breakinghug. “Hiya doll face.”

You grinned back at him and got down from his arms briefly to run across the room to retrieve your drawstring back so you could show your dad your new spiderman action figure that had been bought by your cousin Peter.

“Look! Look!”

He smirked slightly at your excited demeanour as you held up the toy as high as you could while jumping up and down for him to see. Once he’d figured out who the character was, you had already gone running off to see what Wanda and Vision had baked in one of the many kitchens.

“Hey Buck” Steve acknowledged as friendly as he could, it wasn’t that the two ‘friends’ hated each other, but there was definitely some tension in the room as the two sat parallel. Tony cleared his throat and mentioned something about having a cough as he quickly left the room.

“I better see where he got off to” Natasha and your mother said at exactly the same time, not wanting to experience what they thought was about to go down.

“Hi Steve” the older soldier greeted back, not sure what the intentions of the conversation were exactly. In the tower, the history between both soldiers and your mother was known but not really spoke of- Bucky dated your mother for quite a while (almost four entire years), and got her pregnant with you, but- as everybody was sure to know- all good things must come to an end- and the two broke up on good terms. That was before Steve Rogers himself got involved at a certain billionaire’s party when they realized they were (and this is in your mother's words) “meant for each other.”

“I’m erm, here to speak to you about something.” As if the awkwardness present in the room was no longer enough before, by now it was almost too much. Thor and Sam took the most obvious hint and left the room in search of something else to occupy their time.

“Well, you’re free to speak-“ Bucky was interrupted by the loud sound of laughing from behind the wooden door and almost instantly after a hushing sound. The two men had completely different reactions to this, Steve was utmostly confused, both eyebrows scrunching together, while Bucky’s face held a small smile. He knew exactly who was trying to eavesdrop and it just proved how much Steve did not know his stepdaughter from the fact he didn’t immediately know. “(Y/N),” he called out, the humour evident in his voice, “Parker, we know you're out there.”

“Awww, Peter you gave our secret identities up!”

By now Steve had caught on to the two of you and laughed lightly, trying to cover up the fact that his only chance to ask Bucky his question alone, was interrupted.

The wooden door creaked open, revealing Peter, dressed up in his spiderman suit for dramatic effect and you with a bandana on, which you thought made you look like a ninja and you held your action figure tightly in your left hand.

“(Y/N), you know it’s rude to eavesdrop” Steve scolded you, trying to be firm. You ignored him and shrugged your shoulders before going to follow the scent of Chinese food.

“Doll,” your dad stopped you “don’t ignore people, you know not to do that” he stood up from his spot on the sofa and began to also make his way to the kitchen, you right beside him muttering a small “okay dad.”

Steve tried not to let his heart sink as his best friend walked away. He would just have to try and get Bucky alone at another point in the night. If he didn’t get an answer, then he would have no use for the small box that was sitting in his trouser pocket.

“Bonjour,” Clint greeted the two of you as you both arrived for food, the island set up with enough plastic plates for everyone (Tony couldn’t be bothered with hiring people to wash normal, expensive ones multiple times a day)

Your mother smiled at you from the other side of the kitchen, but she was immediately confused when you didn’t smile back. The reason you had not, is because you had a feeling you knew exactly what question your stepdad had for Bucky and did not at all like the sound of it.

“Fries?” Bruce offered, tilting the box of food towards you. You nodded gratefully and grabbed a handful. The conversations at the table were mixed; Thor ranting passionately about the food at his home planet, Tony mumbling something about not even being hungry anyway (you thought he was just being salty since he didn’t get his Shawarma), Bucky and Sam having a silent argument across the table, and Peter was busy singing Christmas songs in his best Santa Claus voice.

“Have a holly jolly Christmas, and in case you didn’t seeeee” Natasha rolled her eyes dramatically at the teenager making everyone laugh.

“Hey don’t get annoyed at me! Everyone loves Christmas!”

You used to love Christmas before your parents separated and you weren’t allowed to spend the holiday with your dad.

“I don’t like Christmas,” your dad shrugged half mindedly while taking a sip of his soda. Peter looked at him like he had two heads and exclaimed in shock, “that impossible!”

“It ain’t kid,” Bucky chuckled while your mother shifted in her seat uncomfortably, realizing the reasoning.

While you worked your way through the pile of noodles, Thor’s incessant ranting came to an end, and the teenager had seemingly run out of songs, the group of superheroes decided to hang out in the living room and watch a movie before you, Steve and your mother had to go home.

“Which one?” Nat asked the room while holding up two movies, the nightmare before Christmas and the corpse bride. Both Halloween movies, neither particularly scary.

“How could one have a nightmare on the day before Christmas? Surely that is against the rules of the Holiday Christmas, that is based on happiness?” Thor asked, earning a quizzical look from you. “Stop tryna act like Shakespeare big man” Tony laughed while grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it all into his mouth.

Steve ignored the billionaire, and while no one seemed to be paying attention he directed his attention to Bucky, swallowing nervously. “Hey Buck, can I speak to you for a sec outside?”

Confusion spread over the soldier’s face for a split second before complying and getting up from the couch with Steve as discreetly as possible as to not raise suspicion from the rest of the team and you.

“What’s up?” He asked once they’d reached the hallway outside, he didn’t know what was up with the younger man but he could easily tell that he’d been acting nervous around himself and your mom.

“Um, I have a question, you don’t have to say yes or no or anything-“

“Your ranting.”

He stopped and thought for a second, wondering how to put it. “I know it’s been complicated recently, and I know this might make it worse with all your history with (Y/M/N) and (Y/N) but I really do love both of them and since (Y/M/N)’s parents passed a while ago, there’s no one to really ask for their blessing so I guess I’m here to ask you, can I have your blessing to propose to (Y/M/N)?”

Bucky stood emotionless for a second, not knowing how to react. He wasn’t sure whether to be happy for Steve and support him or to be angry. He had both reasonable attributes for each option but was cut short when he heard the sound of a door banging against its hinges on the floor above.

Both of your dad’s eyebrows scrunched together, who was that? Everyone in the tower knew not to do it because Tony despised it, and everyone with a brain knew that when Tony got annoyed, bad things happened.

Then almost instantly after the door entering the living room revealing an awkward Loki “I’m sorry to interrupt this conversation but your daughter slash stepdaughter, just ran upstairs in tears so if you could quickly wrap this little moment up, it would be greatly appreciated”

Bucky’s heart stopped, why were you crying?

He and Steve completely forgot about their previous conversation and quickly headed upstairs, nearly running Peter over in the process coming from the toilet. But just as they reached the door where you normally stayed when you came for sleepovers, Bucky stopped and put a finger to his lips.

“I think I should go in.” Instead of arguing, and saying that it would be good ‘bonding time’ to get you to like him, Steve silently agreed and let your dad go in.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he gently closed the door behind himself, instantly catching sight of you sat on the carpeted floor, furiously wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie.

“Hey, hey, don’t hurt yourself,” he took ahold of both of your wrists and set them down on your lap, “why’re you crying doll?”

Tears continued to stream unapologetically down your cheeks, you didn’t know how to tell him. That you had snuck out of the living room to see where the two had gone and then eavesdropped into their conversation, and once hearing your stepdad (who you did not like at all) was going to become a permanent part of your life, ran off crying.

“I don’t wanna talk about it” you shook your head, making him sigh. “Please tell me, I wanna know why. You trust me right (Y/N)?”

The simple nod was all he needed, yet his heart still ached. Seeing his only daughter in tears and didn’t trust him enough to tell him why? It was heartbreaking for him. “I don’t want him to marry mom,” you quietly admitted, “the only reason I’m still allowed to see you is because she thinks I still need a father figure, so now he’s gonna be here forever I won’t be- I won’t be able to see you anymore.”

He sighed deeply, trying to find a way to comfort you. “You will, I promise. I’ll always be apart of your life doll. No one can ever take you away from me because you're my daughter and I love you so so much, m’kay?”

You sniffled and wiped the final tears from your cheeks. “Okay.”

Before you could both get up and return downstairs to finish the movie, Bucky stopped you and lifted you up to whisper something to you.

Once he had finished you pulled back and nodded hesitantly, realizing that you should put your grudge behind you and face a fear.

Your dad and you returned outside, Steve waiting patiently while resting on the wall, gently smiling at you to make sure you were okay.

“Go on doll,” Bucky quietly urged, making you take a deep breath and just go for it.

“I give you my blessing to marry mom.” Steve’s heart skipped multiple beats as his brain tried to process what you had said. You’d finally accepted him into your life?

He broke out into a grin, trying to form words to thank you without seeming like this meant the absolute world to him. “Thank you (Y/N). I appreciate it so much.”

Bucky was proud of you for taking a leap and letting Steve into your life when you were scared. He realized at that moment that even if you did have a dad and a stepdad at the same time, he’d fulfilled his role already.

Taglist: @marvel-ous-hobbit @snarky--starky @rae-is-typing @stargazingfangirl18 @canadianhufflepuffavenger @herecomesthewriterwitch @every-marveler-ever @hera-the-writer @lovers-in-japan-reign-of-love @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @rooskaya-yelena @deephideoutmilkshake @kidney9-9 @js3639 @am3l1a-24 @bonkybarnes107 @ilovemarvel-andcats @sapphireplums @deannawallacee @keenmarvellover @garbage-potato @mollbt @spookybooisa

[undisputed-bucky]

Dean Drabble!

NFSW MINORS DNI

Summary: Dean almost loses you on a mission and lets you know exactly how that makes him feel.

WARNINGS: SMUT SMUT SMUT, oral(m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it my lovelies), GUN KINK(reader has a gun pointed to her head most of this fic) . IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH GUNS OR ANY TYPE OF GUN PLAY DO NOT PROCEED.

Word Count: 1.6k ish

A/N: I have to thank @bucky-daddy for the ideas and inspiration for this! It was supposed to be just a little Drabble but it turned into a full one shot!! Again thank you @bucky-daddy for letting me scream about ideas while I wrote this! I hope you guys like it! I always appreciate likes, re blogs and comments! My requests are open as well!! Send me an ask or message and I’ll be happy to discuss ideas! Also I wrote this on my phone so I can’t add a page break so PLEASE BE AWARE OF THE WARNING I'VE PUT IN THE DESCRIPTION OF THIS PIECE. ILL SAY IT AGAIN⚠️VIOLENT AND EXTREME THEMES ALONG WITH SMUT⚠️

The hunt wasn’t supposed to go wrong. You weren’t supposed to get captured. Almost every part of the plan you and Dean had gone over went wrong. So so wrong. The nest wasn’t supposed to know you were coming for them. You weren’t supposed to leave Dean’s side.

And now because of that you were tied to a chair, with a teenage werewolf desperately trying to finish the knot on your right leg. Shit shit shit, you thought. The last time you had seen Dean he was fighting off one werewolf. As you looked around the room you noticed at least five just in this room. You prayed he was safe. You knew Dean could hold his own but the amount of werewolves that could be here? That sets you on edge.

Just as the thought presents itself in your mind, you hear a crash and multiple gunshots. The werewolves all looked towards the door, the familiar growl of the Winchester brother echoing through the walls. You smirked.

“Come at me motherfuckers!” He yells as he kicks through the door. Dean raises his gun and takes out two within five seconds. You growl as you kick out with your right leg, the knot having never been finished.

“Dean!” You shout as you nod your head towards the wolf that had tied you up. He shoots with extreme precision and the silver bullet meets its target, the werewolves brain.

Dean promptly takes care of the two other werewolves in the room.

You breathe a sigh of relief as you watch Dean pant, his shoulders heaving with every breath. “Man, I really got scared there! Thanks for the help Dean, you’re a great hunter” You say, wiggling against the ropes in the chair. “Why don’t you uhh help me with these ropes, Deano?”

“What did I tell you, Y/N?” You hear Dean growl as he turns around. As you look up into his eyes, the darkness there makes your skin prickle. And not exactly in a bad way.

“You told me not to leave your side, I know Dean but I thought I had it! I didn’t kn-“

“SHUT UP” You're cut off by Dean’s yelling. You suddenly look up to see him storming towards you. His hulking figure soon looms over yours, the rage practically radiating off of him.

“You left my side after I specifically told you not too. You directly disobeyed my orders!” He starts, voice so low it was almost a growl. “You put yourself in Danger!” He yells, his hand raises and he presses the barrel of his gun into your temple. “I ALMOST LOST YOU, Y/N! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

You splutter as you look into his eyes, the emotions there a mystery to you. What wasn't a mystery was the pool of moisture collecting in your panties. You'd always been quite attracted to Dean but this ragey, scary Dean? He made you weak!

Dean's gun drifts down slightly as his expression softens slightly, “What would I do without you, Y/N?” He says, anger still virulent in his eyes.

You decide to come back to that question later, suddenly wanting to press the rage inside him more. You smirk and stick your tongue out, swirling your tongue around the silver barrel. You watch Deans pupils dilate as you draw the barrel into your mouth, sucking gently.

“You think this is a game, Y/N?” Dean growls, his mouth twisting into a sneer. He chuckles, a dark dry sound as his hand moves to his belt buckle. He dexterously undoes the buckle and moves on his jeans. “Guess what? You lost” He suddenly removes the gun from your mouth, placing it back on your temple. “You disobeyed me and for that you’re gonna be punished” He speaks as he pulls his briefs down, revealing his hard cock.

Your mouth falls open, eyes widening as you imagine wrapping your mouth around it. The wet patch in your panties grows as you look at the massive member. You always suspected he was big but this? Unprecedented.

“Brat sees something she likes huh?” He chuckles as he moves closer, his cock right in front of your face. He presses the gun harder against your temple, his other hand slapping his cock against your face. You gasp and he takes the opportunity to thrust roughly into your mouth.

You moan around his impressive length and he groans. “Such a fucking brat, not so mouthy with your trap stuffed full of cock huh?” He growls, his hips pistoning against your lips. You choke and gag as his tip smacks the back of your throat forcefully with each thrust of his hips. You Do your best to breathe through your nose as you take every inch of his cock.

“Fuck, Y/N. Sucking me so good. Knew that mouth was good for something other than being a smart ass” He growls, hips stuttering slightly. Drool and spittle falls down your chin as tears spring to your eyes. Every thrust to your throat had you walls clenching around nothing, cunt desperate for the cock currently in your mouth.

Dean's groans become more desperate and he stops, roughly pulling from your mouth with a wet plop. “No no no. M’saving my cum for your cunt. Wanted this for too long not to fill you” He says.

“Please Dean! Untie me so I can show you how much I’ve wanted it to!” You beg, wiggling against the restraints.

He chuckles as he bends down to untie your leg, smirking. You look back at your hands, expecting him to move to them next. When he doesn’t you look at him, “Dean, m-my hands babe” you say, laughing nervously. He suddenly moves behind you, roughly kicking the Chair out from beneath you. It plants you on the floor with your hands laid out above you. “D-Dean please!”

Dean just laughs as he starts to pull your pants down, groaning appreciatively. Your legs spread for him, exposing your drenched cunt. He raises his gun, dragging the tip of the barrel through your drenched folds. You gasp and arch against the touch. He pulls the gun away and chuckles, slowly lifting it to your mouth in a silent order to suck. You open your mouth to taste your own juices around the gun. You moan at the taste as Dean suddenly presses himself against your entrance.

“What a dirty little whore you are! Just begging to be fucked at gunpoint aren’t you? So wet for me and my gun huh?” He asks, dragging the tip of his cock through your folds as he places the gun back to your temple.

“Yes Sir! Please! Fuck me at gunpoint and take what you want!” You shout, hips bucking to gain more friction. You watch as his lips turn up in a smirk. He uses his other hand to roughly hold your hips down, keeping you still as he slowly sheathes himself inside you.

“Fuck!” You cry out at his length filling you. He’s so huge you can swear you feel him in your belly, stretching you out. Your voice refuses to work when he slowly drags himself out, only to slam back against that spongy spot inside of you.

As his pace increases, he growls out, “Fuck Y/N so tight! Made to take my cock weren’t you?”

“Yes! Oh god yes!” You cry, the coil inside you beginning to wind and wind with every thrust to that spot he found so quickly.

Dean presses the gun into your skin, a bruising pressure as he growls, “Yes what?”

“Yes sir!” You scream, your walls beginning to flutter and squeeze around his cock. “Oh fuck!”

He groans as his pace falters, moving a hand to your clit. He rubs fast, tight circles as he leans down to your ear, “Gonna cum on my cock? Gonna soak me with my gun pointed to your head?” He whispers.

“Yes sir! Please let me cum!” You beg, legs beginning to shake. The coil was ready to burst but you wouldn’t dare cum without his permission.

“Cum! Cum for me like the desperate slut you are” He growls as he cock swells. Your vision goes white as the coil snaps, walls clamping down around Dean. Your mouth falls open in a wordless scream as he finishes, the feeling of his spend bursting against your cervix extending your orgasm farther. Your hips buck and shake as he thrusts out both of your highs.

Dean pants as he slowly pulls his softening cock from your leaking hole. He grunts as he watches your mixed juices leak onto the floor, walls still spasming from the earth shattering climax you just experienced. He throws his gun to the side and tenderly unties your hands, bringing them to his mouth to kiss the tender flesh there. He wraps your arms around his neck as he pulls you against him.

“I really don’t know what I would do without you, Y/N. You’re so important to me. Not only me but Sammy.” He leans down and leaves a tender kiss against your lips. You can visibly see the love and adoration in his eyes as he speaks, “I-I love you, Y/N. I’ve known for so long but couldn’t admit it till now. I-just the thought of losing you- I couldn’t bear it. Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?” His eyes full with concern as he start to look over the rest of your body.

“No y-you didnt. That was- that was amazing” You breath, tears welling in your eyes at his admission. “I love you too Dean. I think I have for a while now” You smile and kiss him again.

Dean's eyes suddenly darken again as he take your face in his hands, making sure your looking directly at him. “If you ever disobey me like that again I swear Y/N, you won’t walk for a week. And you won’t go on a hunt for a month”

He growls before crashing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss.

“Yes sir” You gasp out, enjoying the grin that comes to his face.

Tags: @writtingrose

[scribblingfangirl]

WRITTEN WORDS & WHISPERED WISHES | Julie and The Phantoms - Luke Patterson

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Author’s Note: I wrote this fic for an old fandom of mine and thought I could re-write/re-use it to finally get started on my JaTP bingo card (because my creativity and originality are nowhere to be found) - I hope you enjoy, yet I’m still sorry in advance? (song’s Poet by Bastille but slightly adapted by me)

word count: 1.9k

prompt: ‘Song Fic’ on my @jatpbingo​ bingo card

summary: It took several sleepless nights, days of throwing up and feeling bad and the pressure of cuddling with Luke to finally discover that you were pregnant. 

warnings: teen pregnancy, character death, a very hastly scribbeled down fic idea (this was not beta read (or read over in general) so typos, inconsistent grammar and other faboulous little annoyances (if anyone loves to read my fanfics and would like to volunteer as my beta reader I’ll kiss your feet))

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It had been a few weeks since you, well... since you had seen another room rather than your classrooms and your own four walls. You even missed your kitchen and living room. But especially, you missed the boys' studio. 

Today, however, has been a good day. You had managed to eat properly without feeling sick and were starting to catch up on some shortly due essays, papers and homework assignments, so you wouldn’t need to do them when feeling utterly sick again. 

Luke had come to visit you (or tried to) a few times, needing to use his charm at your door, as you told your parents that you didn’t want him to see you. Your hair was a mess and unkempt, it pained you to stand for a long period of time (so you reduced the times you washed it to a minimum), your eyes had dark circles under them and you were exhausted even if you didn’t do anything the whole day long.

“I brought you food. I know that your fridge only knows like three meals”, he had said once quietly, putting the tray with the steaming meal on your bed, gesturing for you to move a little, so he could sit beside you.

“You mean to say that I and/or my parents only know three meals”, you had coughed laughing and refused to move. You didn’t want him to get sick too. 

“No don’t,” you had muttered when he started to push you to the side, “I think I might have a bad bug and Sunset Curve can’t function without its lead vocalist and guitarist. And I can’t eat anyway.”

He had looked at you, confused and concerned. “Still? Alex told me you were able to keep your breakfast in, and I thought that meant you were on your way of improvement.”

“Some illnesses take longer to go away. I just didn’t want you to check on me because things like a normal cold or a little stomach bug can pass without unnecessary medications even if it takes longer.”

That had been two weeks ago. But today, when you were finally looking presentable again and were even able to open the door yourself, it wasn’t Luke that was visiting you.

“Oh… it’s you guys.”

“Geez, thanks Y/N. No need to kill us with all this kindness,” Reggie said laughing and sniffed, “Uh! Smells amazing. Pizza?” Without any hesitation or warning, he entered your house and vanished into the kitchen. 

“Pizza? Wow, you must really be feeling better. I remember you throwing up on me a week ago when I tried to feed you chicken soup,” Alex smiled, hands in his pockets and not moving until you invited him in. 

“Oh no,” hiding your face in your hands after you closed the door behind you both and groaned. “I’m so sorry about that. Again. Tell me how much the cleaning bill was and I-”

“Chill Y/N, relax. You’ve seen me at my worst and now I’ve seen you at your worst. Sure, I was still way more elegant and not as weak as you, but you just gave me a reason to finally get rid of those shoes.”

“No Alex! You loved those sneakers!” you said horrified.

“Just kidding. Give me 50 bucks and we’re even. Or, you know, better yet, come back to the studio and help us get rid of an overly clingy Luke. Now that you’re better, pleeeease, give him some cuddles!”

You giggled. “You know you have two perfectly fine arms to hug him with as well, right?”

“Yeah!” He said, raising his voice. “But not ALL the time. And I want to be appreciated for myself once too! Not just because I am the only one available to give hugs as an ‘emergency solution’!”

“You make it sound like you actually let us hug you dude, don’t lie,” Reggie muttered through a mouthful of Pizza, throwing himself on your couch.

Throwing Reggie a stink eye Alex turned to you again. “Anyway… You and I will go to the studio now. Yeah?”

“Well”, you stocked, not sure if you could talk to them about it. You had hoped for a few more days to think it over. “You know… It might actually not have been a bad bug, but rather a big bug that I caught.”  

At their confused faces, you sighed. “I’m a few days, or even weeks... late”, you mumbled the last part so quietly, you weren’t even sure if they had heard you (if they even knew what you meant).

You were definitely not expecting Reggie to be the one to answer. “Do you want me to drive you to the hospital or do you just want a pregnancy test first?”

-

You didn’t know who of them had told Luke, or when, but after a few minutes of waiting in the hospital’s waiting room he came barreling in, beanie askew on his head and guitar case on his back. His searching eyes found yours in a haze and you could basically hear the question in his gaze ‘Are you?’. Silently you shook your head, averting your eyes. 

Alex offered him his place beside you and Luke grabbed your hand while you waited. A few moments later your name was called and the nurse brought you and Luke to an empty room and told you to wait again. She came back a few minutes later and Luke moved to the side of the bed and held your hand again.

You didn’t feel the cold gel on your belly. Didn’t feel the way Luke was almost crushing your hand in his. Didn’t hear the words the nurse said. You only heard the faint heartbeat of your baby. You were pregnant. 

Luke was beaming, looking at the screen where you could see the ultrasound of your baby, but he also looked at you with a little bit of fear in his eyes. 

I can't say the words out loud So in a rhyme, I wrote you down Now you'll live through the ages I can feel your pulse in the pages

Even though you were only in your eighth week and not really showing yet, Luke wouldn’t allow you to wear anything else than his oversized hoodies, sweaters, pullovers and flannels (the ones that still had sleeves. And okay, fair enough, it might also have been because he absolutely loved to see you in his clothes.)

He was like an eagle watching over you, flying down as soon as you were doing or were going to do something he didn’t approve of. He even almost convinced his and your parents to move into your room so he could reach you faster in case of an emergency. (It was a clear no from both parents and he even got grounded for that idea - though later on, you learned from Alex that it was because he had said ‘Why not? It’s not like I can impregnate her again!’)

Of course, your parents weren’t happy about the situation, but they weren’t about to throw you out on the street. They both loved you and Luke (after all, they did fall for his charms one to many times), but they never really spoke the words out loud, never really talked about the fact that you two were going to be parents, a family at such a young age.

And Luke and you? While he was acting like an overprotective husband you both weren’t really talking about it either. You both were terrified about the fact that you were going to raise a child while Sunset Curve was trying to make it big, while you were still in High School and it still seemed more like a dream to you both, a dream from which neither of you wanted to wake up and face reality.

That’s why you started to write the letters. Or in Luke’s case - lyrics. Letters to future you’s, letters to your unborn child telling them about your adventures, your experiences and feelings. It was a way to tell yourself all the reasons why it was okay that you were going to be having sleepless nights filled with the cries of a baby, telling you that it was all going to be worth it.

And for the first time, while writing those letters and lyrics, it was as if both you could feel your baby.

Your body lies upon the sheets Of paper in words so sweet I can't say the words So I wrote you into my verse Now you'll live through the ages I can feel your pulse in the pages

Time went by fast. You remembered the first time you felt the little kick very well, as if it was yesterday, but at that time you still could somewhat see your feet and now you couldn’t even stand up anymore without somebody’s help.

School was weird, but you had the boys to help you through it.

You started to draw little babies beside your letters, trying to imagine the different looks it could have. Would it have your hair or Luke’s? His eyes and your nose? Your eyes and his smile? 

And then you started to write your letters and lyrics around the baby, making it look like it was cradled by your warm words, hoping that whenever you wouldn’t be able to hold your child, it would be able to read your letters and feel the love, because you surely did. 

How could you have known that in just a few weeks these lyrics would be the only words your child would ever ‘hear’ from their father?

I have read you with these eyes I've read you with these eyes I have held you in these hands

You had never seen your parents looking so fragile and broken like the night they came into your room to tell you the boys died. 

And then, the next thing you knew was that your son was born. The doctors and nurses said that it was the stress, the emotional overload of being told that your friends, your loves, the father of your child died that caused your water to break.

That’s why it was Bobby and not Luke that was by your side that night and held your hand. It was Bobby, the normally strong and grumpy teenager, that was smiling like a little kid that just got told it would get to eat as much candy as it wanted. 

His eyes were glistening with tears as the nurse handed him the little bundle of joy and he started to sway him - Luke - slowly back and forth, knowing that you were too tired to hold him at the moment. 

“He is beautiful”, you murmured as he took a seat beside you, his gaze still fixed on his nephew, because obviously, he would be Uncle Bobby (though not for a very long time), “Just like his father.”

You didn’t hear Bobby’s answer as you fell asleep and dreamed of Luke, tucking you in and kissing your forehead before he dedicated himself entirely to the new tiny human in his arms, singing a sweet lullaby. 

“We have written you down. Now you will live forever and all the world will hear you and you will live forever. In eyes not yet created, on tongues that are not born, in ears not yet listening. I have written you down, now you will live forever and Sunset Curve will sing about you.”

[seven-oomen]

Every road leads to you chapter 1 | Sambucky a/b/o mpreg

Note: obvious tags for this are a/b/o and eventual mpreg. Alpha Sam, Omega Bucky, Bucky deal with CPTSD, missing scenes, canon compliant, canon continuation, frenemies to friends to lovers, roommates, only one bed. Probably a few more tropes. tbh I wrote this chapter in like a day, posting it here first because I wanna finish the whole fic before posting it to Ao3 but hoping to get some feedback for it here. So I hope you like it. Let me know if you do.

-

“Stop the car!”

Goddamn Walker and his goddamn fucking mouth. He couldn’t believe this shit. Battlestar. More like throwing away everything Steve had ever stood for. These two, Walker and Hoskins, they weren’t fit to defend the mantle of Captain America. They were soldiers, not good men. He hated their freaking guts for that.

Sam should have never given up that shield.

He stalked further down the road, past the bus stop and onto a smaller road that wound back to town without looking back.

“It’s always that last line.” Sam said after a short back and forth with Walker and not long after Sam’s footsteps trailed after him.

“Buck, wait up!”

He kept walking, trying to contain the anger boiling under his skin. Pulsing and creeping up, threatening to overload his nervous system at the slightest touch. He took a deep breath instead and released it slowly. Trying to calm the waving energy inside of him.

Just keep breathing. Everything is going to be okay.

Sam fell into step beside him, his eyes practically burning holes into the side of his face. Though he paid it no mind.

“You’re not going to talk to me, are you?”

He glared at Sam but slowed down his pace just a little to allow the Alpha to keep up with him. As much as he usually enjoyed bantering with the other man, right now everything was just too much. And even Sam’s words echoed in his head and threatened to overload his entire system.

Sam, thankfully, understood.

“Alright. Let’s find a phone. Call Torres.”

He looked at Sam for a moment. The Alpha didn’t judge him for his mood, simply understood what he needed and left it at that. Honestly, it was nice for a change. He sighed, fishing his still working cellphone out of his pocket and handed it to Sam.

“Here.”

Clearly, Sam hadn’t expected that. But the smile Sam gave him created a pleasant warm feeling in the pit of his stomach and eased the pulsing energy through his body just a little. In a way, it was soothing to see him smile.

“Thanks Buck.”

“You’re welcome.”

Two short phone calls later they were on their way to the airport in a cab, their knees touching and only the sound of Taylor Swift singing over the radio surrounding them. Even the driver was quiet.

He still noted the driver’s glances between the two of them but didn’t comment on it since the chubby man didn’t either. He figured the man had bigger problems in his life than having an unmated Alpha and Omega sitting in the back of his cab. Having the kind of walrus mustache the man sported, had to be one of them.

Sam kept sneaking glances between him and the driver, his lips curled up in an amused smile. Almost as if he knew the kind of things he was thinking. It was a little weird, a little endearing, mostly just annoying. He raised an eyebrow at the behavior and leaned back with a smirk when Sam just glared at him and crossed his arms.

Damn right.

Though a small part of him winced at the way his gut twisted at Sam’s reaction. When was the last time he’d taken his suppressants? A quick silent count said he’d taken all of them. So that couldn’t be why he was having a reaction. What else could it be though?

Torres welcomed them at the airport, thankfully Walker or Hoskins were nowhere to be seen. A small miracle all things considered, but a very welcome one.

“Plane’s fueled and ready to go when you are.”

“Then let’s take off, I’ve had enough of Germany for now.” Sam said.

He followed, trailing after Sam into the cargo hold of the plane where they would undoubtedly spend the next few hours just staring ahead. And maybe even getting some sleep if they were lucky enough.

It took a few hours for them to get bored enough. He certainly didn’t know what to do with himself and Sam was on the verge of a mental breakdown judging the by the way he was glaring at him. Then again, if Sam had been mindlessly pacing up and down the cargo hold he’d probably be in the same state.

“Would you please just sit down?”

His fingers twitched at those words yet he did stop. Hands clenching and unclenching in an effort to get rid of some of his excess energy.

“I can’t. I’m restless.” He was. It felt like a dozen fire ants were crawling up and down his spine and the only way to alleviate that feeling was by pacing around the plane.

“I can see that, but you’re making me restless. Come on.” Sam beckoned him closer.

It was… tempting to sit down beside him and allow Sam to calm him. He couldn’t do that though. Couldn’t let anyone get that close. He didn’t know if Sam knew what he was, they didn’t talk much about that stuff. And a part of him never wanted Sam to find out either. He didn’t want to lose this edge of whatever it was that was between them. In a way it was comforting to know that someone didn’t take his bullshit, that someone still called him out on his stupid ideas.

He sat down on the floor opposite Sam, his back propped up against some crates and the tips of his toes not quite touching Sam’s.

Sam merely stared at him for a moment, then leaned forward and offered him his hands. “Gimme your hands.”

“No.” His first reaction was to lean back further and glare. Sneering at the hands he was offered.

Though Sam didn’t budge or get angry at his behavior and stayed calm. Within minutes his shoulders relaxed just a little and he laid his hands in Sam’s with a soft grumble.

“Fine.”

“Good, now breathe.” Sam said, taking a deep breath in. “In, hold it-” He paused for a few seconds, then released his breath “-and out slowly. Repeat.”

“You’re playing therapist now are you?” He appreciated Sam’s help, truly, he did. But there was always a part of him that just wanted to rile Sam up. Just to see if he could.

“No, I just want some goddamn peace and quiet without you pacing a hole through the floor and this is probably the best way to get that.” Sam bit back, the corners of his lips curling up.

It did something to him. A warmth that pooled in his stomach and slowly traveled to his heart and eased the little aches, pains, and pulses of his body. God he could drown in those dark eyes all night.

He blinked rapidly at that thought, only then realizing that his breathing had synched up with Sam’s and they were calmly breathing in and out together. How had that happened? Even his own therapist hadn’t been that effective in getting him to calm down.

He hadn’t even noticed he had exposed the dog tags around his neck for Sam to see. His full name and designation clearly stamped and visible.

James B. Barnes O

32557038 T41 42 O

R.Barnes

3092 Stoorton RD

Shelbyville IN P

Sam didn’t seem to care either way. “Better?”

He nodded, quickly pulling his hands away from Sam’s when Sam’s thumb brushed over the back of his hand. “Yeah…”

“Good. Let me know if you feel restless, we’ll do it again.” Sam leaned back and closed his eyes, his breathing slowly evening out.

He honestly didn’t understand it. Sam had had every opportunity to absolutely obliterate him and yet he hadn’t. Anything vulnerable he showed him, any kind of weakness he had, for once it wasn’t used against him. Sam treated him like a person. He never really noticed that before, or it hadn’t registered this clearly. It was too easy to forget when he was around Sam, too easy to just fall in beside him and joke and snap along. It scared him just a little.

It also gave him hope.

Maybe that’s why he brought Sam to Baltimore.

He should have known things would go south real quickly.

“How come nobody ever told me about him?” Sam’s voice was full of fire and emotion and yet it cut him cold across the chest. He wasn’t sure if he deserved that reaction, but he understood it in a way.

“Steve didn’t know and I didn’t-” He ran a hand through his hair, sighing “-I didn’t tell anybody because he’d already been through enough.”

The sharp sound of sirens pulled him out of his thoughts and brought an entirely new problem with it. Before he knew it, he was the one escorted into a police car with his hands cuffed. He missed his court mandated therapy. Wasn’t that a fucking joke?

He spared one glance at Sam just as the car pulled away from the scene and immediately wished he hadn’t. The look Sam gave him hurt more than any punch ever had and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why. He didn’t owe Sam anything. And yet it felt like he just lost his entire world.

“I’m sure everything will be sorted quickly, Mr. Barnes.” One of the cops, the shorter one, said. He was quite a bit more nervous now than he had been when he thought Sam had been an aggressor, possibly because he feared repercussions from profiling an Avenger. Good. Maybe it would make him think twice about pulling shit like that, though a part of him very much doubted it.

He simply glanced at them in the rear view mirror, feeling an almost sick sense of satisfaction as that unnerved both of the cops further. He didn’t say anything to them despite their attempts at making small talk with him.

What was the fucking point anyway?

He didn’t expect Sam to come get him at the station. Seeing him there felt like a slap to the face. Not because Sam had done anything wrong, no he’d done everything right. And that’s exactly what hurt so much.

The doc seemed hell bent on getting him to open up about his problems. And as much as he didn’t really want to he found himself opening up anyway.

“Well in my miracle, he would talk less.” He said, glaring at Sam as he said it. And maybe that was a bit harsh, but Sam took it like a champ and threw it right back at him. God how he wanted to shut him up in that moment. Though in what way he wasn’t quite sure. In the last day his emotions had been all over the place.

He wanted to hate Sam, but he couldn’t. Something deep inside him just couldn’t hate him for any of this. Not when he himself had done so much worse.

The doc didn’t seem that pleased with them. Honestly, she should have known better. “You guys are leaving me with no choice. It’s time for the soul gazing exercise.”

Now that, he actually liked. “I like this one a lot better.”

“Oh god he’s gonna love this.” Sam said.

“Oh yeah, I’m ready.”

They scooted close, legs intertwining as they sat opposite one another. Once again he was staring into deep brown eyes except this time Sam’s warmth also seeped into him. In a way it was like touching spring for the first time since a cold winter. Warm and pleasant with just enough breeze to keep you alert and in the moment. It was both heaven and earth on hell and he wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face. He didn’t. He couldn’t.

Because punching Sam wouldn’t solve anything. It wouldn’t give him closure. It wouldn’t bring Steve back. Steve, who had walked out on him and left him in a time he barely knew just to get his own happy ending. Yeah maybe that had left him a little bitter and a little broken.

“Why’d you give up the shield?”

He poured his heart into his words and bared his soul wide open and it didn’t seem to matter to Sam. So maybe Steve had been wrong about him. About both of them. Maybe he didn’t deserve redemption or compassion. Maybe he didn’t deserve a second chance. And maybe he didn’t deserve Sam’s kindness or compassion either. Maybe he was just broken.

“See you outside, Buck.”

Maybe he was just too broken to function after all.

“Thanks doc.” He followed after Sam, quiet and brooding on the outside but his mind was screaming and crying in agony.

Worthless. He was just so fucking worthless.

He shouldn’t care this much.

He didn’t deserve to care this much.

Maybe that’s why he suggested to go the HYDRA route and find Zemo, or maybe it was a form of self sabotage. Who knew? All he knew, was that this was his last chance to do something right for this world. No matter what it would cost him.

[poeticandors]

You Are The Reason

Cassian Andor x Reader

Word count: 13.6K (my longest one shot EVER sorry guys I hate myself)

Summary: You have known Cassian for what seems like your entire life, and you have loved him almost just as long (without him knowing of course). What happens when a member of the Rebellion approaches you and tells you that he has just gone missing? How far would you go to protect and save the one person you care about more than yourself? And what does this mean for you and Cassian after? 

Warnings: NSFW 18+, graphic depictions of torture (beatings and knife TW), smut BUT THEN FLUFF AT THE END 

A/N: Inspired by a few requests that we from so long ago, thank you for the two anons and @fanfiction461 for bearing with me I am so sorry it took this long I have been wanting to write this for so long but I just couldn’t until now. 

I also just want to thank @spectre-leader​ @firefeatherx​ @jesus-buck​ @woakiees​ @damndamer0n​ @damerondjarin​ and @tintinwrites​ for listening to my rambling, helping me with this fic, and encouraging me to publish this and for entertaining me with their reactions. I really appreciate you all.  And I want to thank all my readers who have been patient with me throughout this ordeal, now it’s time to get back to my other fics lol. 

GIF by @jynandor​

The smell of various foods being cooked and the chatter of merchants trying hard to sell their merchandise to the dwellers walking around surrounded you. Were you hungry? Sure, and the delicious smells weren’t helping. But you had no time to stop. 

Looking over your shoulder, you pulled your bag up higher as you continued to be unnoticeable during your walk through the crowd. It was second nature to you, trying to appear as a member of the crowd when in reality, you were capable of taking out any one of them who came up to you. 

But that’s not what you wanted. You just wanted to make it back to your room at the inn you kept for yourself— frequent payments going to the innkeeper to ensure that no one ever takes your room. Bouncing between worlds was what you normally did; getting any information you could that you knew would be useful against the Empire. But this was the one place you might even consider home.

Finally making it to the inn, you immediately knew something was off once you reached your room. The small trace of mud right in front of your door caught your eye, and you could smell the faint scent of a cigarra leading into your room. The innkeeper knew enough not to ever bother you, and you knew for a fact they didn’t take up a smoking habit.

Has someone come after you? 

The hair stood on the back of your neck— you were on high alert now. Keeping your hand on your blaster at your hip, you slowly open the door, and step inside. Scanning the room, you caught sight of a shadow lurking in the corner, and whip out your blaster. The figure moves, and you aim directly at them as they speak.

“Take it easy—”

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” 

The figure— a man— slowly emerges into the light, hands raised out in surrender as you keep your blaster raised on them. The light from outside flashes a streak across his face, but you still don’t recognize him. You keep your back foot planted, in case you need to make a run for it as he steps closer. 

“So, Nova wasn’t code for any hidden information. It was the name of a person.”

The name set something off in you. There was only one person who called you that— and the last time you saw him was days ago. 

Nova.

You didn’t even know where the name came from. Instead of your real name, he’d begun to refer to you as Nova. 

Why do you call me that? 

I don’t know, he shrugged. It suits you.

So the fact that this guy happened to know this specific name meant something was wrong. And if something was wrong, you had to get out of there immediately.

Just as you go to turn, the man reaches for his blaster.

“Don’t try to run.”

Your grip tightens around your own, but you notice that he doesn’t even pull his blaster from the holster. “Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because we would just find you all over again, and I really don’t want to spend the next few moments chasing after you.” 

You stare at him, not moving as he lowers his hand from his side. The fact that he not once even removed his weapon befuddled you. If he was after you, wouldn’t he have threatened you or tried to attack you by now? 

“...Who are you?” 

“That’s not important.” He answers and you scoff. “Now, are you going to lower that?”

“Not until you tell me why you’re here.” 

The man sighs and steps closer into the light, in which you finally take notice of his jacket. Standard military, on his shoulder sits a patch the same color as his jacket as if to hide some type of insignia. You recognize that type of tactic instantly and it finally hits you.

“Are you from the Rebellion?” You ask, watching as the corner of his mouth twitches up. 

“You’re a good observer. I can see now why Andor—”

“Cassian Andor?” You speak quickly, the slight panic evident in your tone. Cassian would have scolded you for that, for sure. 

Don’t give any indication— even the slightest hint of panic or lack of comfort, he told you many times.They will use that against you.  

But he wasn’t here to reprimand you. 

When the man nods after you speak you step deeper into the room, but slowly begin sidestepping as you keep your blaster up. There was no room for more mistakes here, you had near to perfect aim, so if this guy tried anything funny he wouldn’t even make it close to you. And you didn’t even have to worry about anyone else because from what you’ve observed, he was the only one here. There were no sideways glances or movements to indicate he was communicating with anyone other than you. You made sure to pay close attention to each and every movement after spotting him.

At least that Cassian would have praised you on. 

“What… what’s happened to him?” 

“Captain Andor was recently sent undercover to extract some needed information from a weapons dealer. While he was successful in gathering that information, his comm was disconnected before he was able to make it to his ship. We have reason to believe that he’s been captured.” 

Captured? The word played on a constant loop in your mind. You could hardly believe what you were told. Cassian… was captured? 

The last time you saw Cassian, it was just days ago. He came to visit you, like he often would. You two were close, always have been since you were young. While you weren’t a member of the Rebellion like he was, you still managed to get information that was circling around— information you knew you or the Rebellion could use against the Empire. You were his best informant, and possibly his best friend. You were the only one to know everything about him, and the only one he let his walls down with. He wasn’t like that with anyone else— he did not trust easily. But with you, for some reason it was different. 

And it’s also why you couldn’t be honest about your true feelings. He was the only person to know every single detail about you. The only one you trusted, and he was the closest thing to a normal life you had. You had fallen hard into a ditch you couldn’t climb out of, one filled with nothing but longing. 

A longing for someone whose entire life revolves around his job— the Rebellion. He did not have time for relationships, everything was strictly for the Rebellion, always. You could not risk losing him, the only person that made this type of life worth living, over your silly feelings. 

But he never brought up this mission with you. Was he afraid to ask you? It didn’t make sense, you would always accept when he asked you to be his backup. Would it have even made a difference if you went with him? 

“...How do you know about me?” You question, loosening your finger on the trigger, but still aim directly for his heart. 

“We didn’t. But he left some messages for his droid. One was to ‘Find Nova’.” He steps towards you cautiously. “We thought it was code for something else, maybe some information he managed to get. We didn’t know it meant… you.” 

At least you know he never put you in a position where you would be known. But the fact that he told the Rebellion to look for you must have meant he was in deep bantha fodder. Finally, you lower your blaster— not daring to loosen your grip. 

“What do you need?” 

“Well, obviously Captain Andor seems to think you’d be of use in retrieving him. We’ve already tracked his last location, we just need someone capable of handling it.” 

“And you want to send me?”

“Well, he did give us your name. And from where I’m standing, it seems he’s kept you hidden for quite some time now. Why give us your location? Why send us to you if he didn’t think you were capable enough to retrieve him?” 

That was the real question, wasn’t it? Cassian trusted you with his life, did he really trust you enough to know you would be the only one to get him out of whatever trouble he was in?

Sure, you were tactful, good with a blaster, and were capable of defending yourself— all the skills taught to you by Cassian himself. He had trained you how to be observant of your surroundings, to look for ticks people can give off depending on the situation. Even taught you how to prepare quickly in case you needed to run. Sometimes he would not tell you he was stopping by, and would surprise you with a scenario where you would have to defend yourself from him. 

What you thought meaningless tests, he reminded you of the type of world you lived in. And being tied to him would have repercussions. If anyone knew about you, that would put you in some deep trouble.

You stare up at the man as he steps closer to you. “What does Captain Andor think you have that could save him?”

Then it hit you: all the information you seemed to pick up about the Empire and the Rebellion. Cassian had to have known that whoever captured him would love whatever information you had. So that had to be the only reason he wanted the Rebellion to find you. 

The only way to get Cassian back was to trade yourself for him. You did not care much what would happen to you. And you would be damned if you let anything happen to him. 

++++++

It took some time, but you were finally able to make it to the planet where Cassian’s signal had gone dead. From the information you were given, there was a gang residing there that was known for causing trouble around the town. As you roamed around the town, you managed to catch word that it was that specific gang who captured a man. 

They were not sympathizers for either the Rebellion or the Empire, so it would make sense that they found out who Cassian was and decided to take him for the hell of it. 

You hope he was still alive. If he was, then the fact that you had information on both the sides could be useful enough for a trade. 

As you take a sip of your jet juice, your eyes roam along the cantina you made it to. At the bar, you spotted a few members of said gang taking shots and laughing at their own jokes. You figured the easiest way to get taken to their hideout was just to let them capture you, so you had a moment to think of just how to do so. 

Grabbing your drink, you loosen up one of the buttons on your front shirt before making your way over. One of the men pushes away from the bar, and you take your chance to roughly bump into his shoulder. 

The man turns, and you pretend to sway as if plastered. He raises his brow down at you and you scoff.

“Watch where you’re going, bantha fodder,” you slur, and the man is quick to grab hold of your arm. You grit your teeth, looking up at him.

“Hey—“

“Sure you don’t want to apologize for that, sweetness?”

“Apologize? For what? You were the one in my way.” 

His grip tightens around your arm as you challenge him. “Feisty one, eh? You could be a lot of fun.”

You yank your arm away, glaring up at him. “Don’t you know it’s rude to grab a lady?”

In an instant, you throw the remainder of your jet juice in his face, and toss the cup to the ground. A few of his men stand up, but he raises his hand— stopping them. 

“No need to fuss,” he grins smugly, wiping his cheeks. “Seems like she was just headed out, anyways. Isn’t that right, sweetness?” 

“Yeah, I was,” you sneer, before finally turning in your heel and leaving the cantina. 

If these guys were as bad as you had heard, then they would be after you in mere minutes. As you turn down an alleyway, you stay aware of your surroundings— Cassian would’ve praised you on that. From the corner of your eye, you spot movement, but feign obliviousness as you continue walking in the dark. 

It was quick— just like you knew it would be. A hand covers your mouth and pushes you against the brick wall, your cries muffled as your cheek scrapes along the stone. A body presses up against you, and you feel the hot breath of your assailant fan against your ear as they lean close. 

“Can’t use that mouth of yours now, huh sweetness?” The man from earlier asks. You struggle against him, feeling movement behind you. 

You were prepared, you thought of the various scenarios that would happen when they made their way to capture you. But it still caught you by surprise when you felt the prick in your neck and the warm fluid rushing now through your veins. 

Instinctively, you try fighting the sleep, but you could already feel your body falling slack into the man’s arms. Before darkness takes over, you’re sure that you saw a flash of Cassian’s face, and can only relax. 

++++++

A faint voice is heard— and though it sounds as if it’s far away, you know better. You feel a few small pats against your cheek, and you can’t help the way your head tilts to the side although you try so hard to remember just how your muscles work. 

The musty smell of wherever you were had your stomach churning, you would not be surprised if at any moment you threw up all the contents in your stomach. It was cold and damp— you were sure they stripped you of your jacket as you suddenly shivered— goosebumps covering your arms. 

Your shoulders were now being shaken violently, and it did not help with the queasiness you were feeling. 

“...-ake up, sweetness,” the voice finally breaks through the hazy fog in your mind. “Come on, that’s it.” 

Wherever the group must’ve taken you had to have been isolated from the rest of the town. Although it might have just been the effects of the drug, you still couldn’t hear much of the commotion that you had when you walked through the town, so either you were underground or on the outskirts of town. 

You can only manage a small groan, the very thought of even trying to articulate words or even trying to deal with the dryness of your mouth is a difficult task for you. It feels like small weights are tied to your eyelids; you try so hard to open them when you feel hands grab your arms to pull you up. A deep chuckle is heard— amused at your inebriated state. 

“Bix, go fetch this sweet girl some water.” 

There is a grunt in response, you suspect from Bix, and suddenly you feel a hand clamp onto your chin. This is when you use everything you can to open your eyes, and although all you can make out is a blurry figure it is enough. 

“There she is,” he grins, his fingernails scratching against your skin. You try pulling away, but he keeps a firm grip. “You know, I have a lot of fun planned for you.”

“Here’s the water, Terek.” 

The man— Terek— takes the canteen from Bix, and spins the cap off with his free hand. He pushes it to your lips, and you practically guzzle it down like you had been stranded in the deserts of Tatooine for days. But as soon as he had given it to you, he pulled the canteen away, and all you could do was watch helplessly as he poured the rest on the ground. 

“Now,” he tsks. “I think we’re ready to have a little fun, don’t you?” 

No, no, no, you think as he stands up. You need to tell them why you’re there. Why you wanted to get caught, who you needed to see...

Cassian.

He was here in the same place as you. You were so close to him. If only you could fucking find the words to speak or move your body the way it needs to.

As Terek walks up to you, you slowly begin to mumble. He smirks, kneeling in front of you.

“You trying to say something, sweetness?” 

“...W-Wai… wait,” you finally manage to breathe out, and it feels so good to have at least a small ounce of control despite the drug flowing through your system. 

“Wait?” He chuckles. “What do you expect me to wait for—“

“I… You have s-something— someone I need,” you slur, pushing yourself up. 

“Oh? Is that so?” 

You nod, slowly gaining more control over your movements. “A… rebel.” 

Terek’s brow raises, and he sits for a moment as if processing everything, before he gives you a sly smile that sends a shiver along your spine. You try not to show your discomfort, Cassian’s familiar words ringing through your ears. 

Don’t give any indication— even the slightest hint of panic or lack of comfort. They will use that against you. 

When Terek speaks, the tone of his voice is teasing— almost sing-songy. 

“Ah, I see now. It was all a ruse, wasn’t it?” He traces a finger along your cheek, but this time you’re able to pull away. “Bumping into me at the cantina, letting us follow you along down the alleyway. All part of your little plan.” 

Terek stands up, snickering as he looks down at you. 

“You know, I actually feel flattered. I mean you took the time to find out about us, planned out a way to piss me off, and therefore decided to put yourself in this situation just to get to that man.” 

He walks over to a small table, grabbing an item but you can’t quite make it out as he shoves it into his pocket. As he turns back to you, he grins.

“But there is one thing that is just picking at my brain. What could you possibly have that I could use instead of my rebel friend, hmm?” 

He lifts your chin up with his dirty finger, and you try hard to focus on him. 

“In...information,” you pull your head back from him, swaying a bit. “I can give you… any information.”

“What makes you think I am incapable of getting information, sweet girl?” 

“Because… I can give you information about the Alliance and the Empire. You won’t… won’t have to get it from anyone else. You have me,” you mutter. “Just… let him go.”

Terek watches you, before he turns and barks orders at his men in another dialect. A few of them leave, while two others make their way to you. To no avail, you try crawling away only for them to yank you up by your arms. 

Your legs felt as if they were made up of Andorian jello, how they shook when they pulled you to stand upright. If you were to stand up with no assistance, you would have only fell back to the ground. You struggle to find your footing as they walk you up to Terek, who smirks down at you. 

“Time for some fun.” 

++++++

You were dragged along to another room, one in a similar grotesque state as the previous one. The men pulling you along paid no mind to your frail state, and you were sure if they continued moving you the way they did that you were going to vomit. 

There was no way of knowing what was going to happen. Terek hasn’t so much as looked back at you the entire walk through their hideout. All you knew was that Terek seemed giddy— there was a slight spring in his step in a cruel way. 

“Wakey, wakey!” Terek chimes, and you are brought to a halt behind him. He wasn’t talking to you, though. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. I came bearing a gift. One I think you’ll enjoy very much.” 

As soon as Terek steps to the side, you’re shoved down to the floor. You stay lying flat on the floor for a moment, your mind spinning. Placing your palms out on the floor, you struggle to lift yourself up. 

“Nova…” The faint whisper of the name has your heart catching in your throat. You’d recognize that voice anywhere.

Suddenly, you hear the sound of someone struggling followed with a loud thwap. Looking up, you see one of Terek’s men bring their blaster back as they step out of your line of view. Now you are staring as Cassian tries to recover from the blow, shaking his head until he locks eyes with you. Two men continue to hold him as they restrain his wrists together behind his back before pushing him to his knees.

While you are relieved to see Cassian, the queasiness in your stomach is now from the realization of the situation setting in. You take a moment to just look at him. There are a few bruises on his face, paired with small scratches and dried blood. He looked exhausted.

“Aw, look at that,” Terek chuckles. “A wonderful reunion! You know, I thought today wasn’t going to be eventful at all but...”

He walks past you and over to Cassian, grabbing his chin roughly. “Did you know that that woman over there wanted to be captured? She was offering to trade herself just to get to you, I mean… she must really care about you, huh?”

Terek practically throws Cassian’s face to the side before spinning on his heel, smiling down at you. “Isn’t that right, sweetness?” 

You keep your eyes on Cassian, his jaw tense as he glares up at Terek. Cassian’s eyes then move to you, his gaze slightly softening. All you wanted to do in that moment was rush over to him— to embrace him, to help him, to protect him— but you couldn’t even move properly. 

Terek takes a moment, exchanging glances between you both before his expression brightens in an evil way. 

“Oh, oh… I see what’s going on here!” He laughs, pointing between the two of you. “How did I not see it!” 

Terek claps his hands together, before striding over to you, bending down in front of you. He blocks your view of Cassian and grabs your face with one hand, squeezing your cheeks tight as he forces you to look up at him.

“You love him, don’t you?”

Your eyes widen but you don’t respond, trying to keep your emotions in check. He looks over his shoulder back to Cassian, but you can’t see his reaction. When he looks back down at you, he tenderly brushes his thumb against your cheek. 

Suddenly, he reels the same hand back and you don’t even process what happens because in the blink of an eye you topple back down to the floor, a searing hot pain across your cheek. Your mind is in a flurry— the mix of being slapped hard and the effects from the drug has you struggling hard to focus. 

You hear Cassian grunting and another hard hit from a blaster as you shake your head. Terek is now hovering behind you and pulls you up by the collar of your shirt, his nose brushing into your hair as he leans down.

“Answer me when I ask you a question, sweet girl,” Terek sneers into your ear, his entire demeanor changing. Letting out a soft whimper, you close your eyes as he releases your shirt and you fall back to the ground.

“Oh, you do,” his tone changes back, and he chuckles. “That’s why you went through all that trouble.” 

Terek kneels back down next to you as he pushes your hair out of your face, feigning pity as he caresses the same spot he slapped you. 

“Does he know?” He whispers. ”Please tell me he doesn’t because that just makes things a little more interesting.” 

You dare not answer again, waiting for another slap as he pulls his hand back but you don’t feel any contact. 

Instead, he lifts you up by your arm, practically dragging you across the floor as you can’t manage to find the strength to lift your legs up. Then, he drops you to the floor only for a moment so he can get behind you and lift you up so you are now sitting up, resting against his chest. Terek holds your head up by wrapping his arm across your neck. 

Cassian is directly in front of you, inhaling sharply through his nose. You are forced to look at him, feeling helpless and despicable as Terek holds you up. 

“Now, we’re going to play a game. For your sakes, I hope you both participate,” he chuckles into your ear. 

Cassian stares down Terek, and if looks could kill you knew he would be dead in an instant if it were up to Cassian. 

“Okay, sweetness, I want you to tell me the truth. Do you love him?” 

Your breath hitches, and all you can do is look at Cassian with a mix of panic and remorse. This is not how you wanted to admit your feelings. Hell, you didn’t even plan on facing them at all.

Although you know it’s all a game for Terek— a harsh, cruel game— it’s torture for you, and he knows it. How could you answer him? How could you possibly look Cassian in the eye and admit your true feelings?

So you stare. You stare and try to read the look in Cassian’s eyes, but you can’t. All those times Cassian had you work on analyzing people’s emotions, but you could not read his own at this moment. 

“Don’t make me ask you again,” Terek growls deeply against your ear. “Do you love him?” 

And you still can’t bring yourself to answer, instead you look to the ground, trying hard to bite back tears. 

“Alright, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

You look up as soon as the first punch is thrown, eyes wide with terror as Cassian’s head falls to the side. As soon as he lifts his head back up, another punch is thrown. Then another. And then another. The pain of just watching was unbearable— it was as if you were getting hit alongside him. 

“Stop!” You finally shout, struggling in Terek’s hold. “Don’t hit him!” 

Terek’s men pay no mind to you, and this time you watch as Cassian takes a blow to the stomach, hunching over until he is pulled back. 

“You know what you have to say, sweet girl.”

Cassian’s eyes meet yours, and you begin sobbing, silently begging them to spare him— to spare him from the physical pain he was subjected to as well as to spare him from having to hear you admit your feelings. 

“I’m sorry,” you start to let your head drop down. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”

“No, no, no,” Terek quickly grabs your chin, forcing you to lift your head to watch as Cassian gets punched in the ribs. You are screaming now, but Terek’s voice still manages to break through. “You know what you have to say. Don’t start apologizing now—”

“—I’m so sorry, Cassian—”

“—This could have been dealt with easily,” he continues to say over your screams. “All you had to do was—”

“Okay!” You shout and Terek holds one hand up. 

Cassian groans out in pain, as Terek’s men step away. Each breath he takes seems just a struggle for him, and all you can do is sob at the state he is in. 

“Aw, don’t cry. Don’t cry, Shh...” Terek presses his cheek to yours. “Now, I will give you one more chance to answer: do you love him?”

Looking up with tear-filled eyes, you watch as Cassian slowly lifts his head up. The sight of fresh blood upon his face churns your stomach— you don’t want him to have to suffer anymore. Fixing him with an apologetic look, you swallow thickly.

“It’s true…” You whisper, only for your voice to rise just a bit. “It’s true,  I do love you, Cassian. I always have… I’m sorry…”

Cassian’s expression is light and you thought for a split moment that there was a bit of hope in his eyes. But then he closes his eyes, and that one movement seems to shatter everything inside of you.  

How did you expect for him to look? Relieved? No, of course he wouldn’t. Because although Cassian did care for you, it did not mean that he would reciprocate your feelings and suddenly love you as well.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Terek hums, looking down at you. Your head drops, and you watch as the tears from a small, barely there puddle on the floor. “Or was it?” 

Terek gasps playfully. “Oh, no… you’ve been keeping this to yourself, haven’t you?” 

You squeeze your eyes shut— you hope that if you do all of this goes away: Terek, the torture… the look on Cassian’s face. 

“Oh… I wonder just how long you’ve kept this for yourself, sweet thing,” Terek clicks his tongue. “Must’ve been pretty lonely, craving a man who didn’t even know the true extent of your feelings.” 

He lifts your chin up, gripping it tightly as you keep your eyes closed. “Let’s see how he feels about all this.”

He begins brushing the tears off of your cheek. You flinch from his touch and he chuckles. “My, my… isn’t she beautiful? Even after crying?” 

He turns to Cassian, who glowers at Terek as he continues to drag his thumb down your cheek. He does not even look at you. 

“Do you want to fuck her, Cassian?” 

The way Terek says his name fills you with such disgust. You were such an idiot. You did not mean to say his name, it just came out. If you weren’t in the situation you were in now, Cassian sure would have given you a piece of his mind right now.

Cassian’s entire body becomes tense, and while you have seen him angry before, the look he gives Terek causes you to shiver. 

“I mean, with a face like hers,” Terek squeezes your cheeks. “How could you not want to stare down at her while you fuck her hard and rough? Oh, I bet she makes the sweetest sounds.”

But Cassian continues to stare straight ahead, not flicking his eyes over to you once. Your heart aches— the fact that Cassian can’t even bring himself to look at you hurts you in the worst possible way. 

When Terek releases your cheeks, you are relieved. Until he grips your hair tightly and yanks it back. A slight whimper escapes you and Terek chuckles deeply, trailing a finger along your exposed throat. “See? Oh, Maker. You could definitely have the time of your life getting the best sounds out of this one.”

You are sure he’s ripped some strands of hair based on the stinging pain of your scalp. All you can do is stare at the ceiling, feeling Terek’s disgusting warm breath against your neck as he continues to taunt Cassian.

“If you want, I can give you both a few minutes of alone time. We won’t even peek… much.”

A string of chuckles are heard, but then it is soon followed by the sound of someone grunting and scuffles. You manage to look down, only to catch a glimpse of Cassian now being shoved onto the ground while another man covers his face, blood gushing through his fingers. 

“Oh, seems that we might have struck a nerve. Which makes me wonder…”

Terek suddenly pushes you to the floor, and you feel as if you can finally breathe freely. It felt as if he had been holding you up for hours, you did not even realize that the drug was slowly fading away from your body. You were able to push yourself up just barely— enough to watch as Terek makes his way over to Cassian who is now being pulled back up by two men.

Cassian still does not turn to face you, instead watches as Terek leans down close to him. Although you can’t see his face, the picture of him grinning smugly at Cassian is clear in your mind simply from the tone in his voice. 

“You don’t just want to fuck her, right? You love her too, don’t you?” 

The tension in the room was palpable— a least to you. Everyone else just seemed eager to hear just what Cassian had to say. 

Not you. 

You were not ready to hear what he had to say in response to that question— especially after you had just admitted your feelings to him. But then it dawns on you.

He doesn’t feel the same way. 

Which, of course he doesn’t. How could he? More importantly, why would he? 

There was not anything special about you. All you knew how to do was sneak around and trade around information. Cassian could easily find someone to replace you. 

All the times you thought that there could be a chance with him— all the memories that flood your mind of the possible maybe you thought at the moment that he cared for you as you had for him— wither away. 

Another minute goes by and Cassian still does not answer. Terek lets out a sigh, and you quickly look to the floor as he begins to make his way back to you. 

“I told you both, but it seems that you are just as equally stubborn.” You feel a pair of hands lift you up by your arms, and suddenly you are back to facing Terek, who stops in front of you. He shakes his head, putting on a mock pout. “I’m so sorry about this, sweet girl.” 

The slap is hard and fast across your cheek, just like the first time moments ago. You hear Cassian yelling something that you do not catch, but Terek does not let up. Another hard slap hits your opposite cheek, and you can’t help it as your vision swirls while your head falls to the side. 

Even as you are indisposed, Terek hits you again. This time, his fist is closed and connects hard with your jaw. Instead of keeping you up, Terek’s men let you fall to the ground and you feel Terek’s hard boot connect with your abdomen, knocking the air clear out of you. Cassian must have said something, because Terek halts the next blow to turn to him. 

“Is there something you’d like to say?” He asks, palms splayed open. “This can all stop.” 

Despite the dizziness and aching pain in your torso, you manage to barely lift your head off the ground. Your vision sets, and you are able to see Cassian as his face twists in anger. 

But when his gaze flicks down to you, his features soften— his eyes apologetic and begging for forgiveness. His eyes do not leave yours this time, staring deep into them. 

“Nova…” You do not expect him to speak, and you definitely do not expect him to continue to do so in Festian. 

Cassian had taught you a few basic phrases here and there when you asked. But, there were times where he would randomly speak to you in Festian without translating. There was particularly one phrase that he would always tell you, and no matter how many times you bugged him about it, he would just simply smile and say the same thing after. 

I’ll tell you another time. 

So it caught your attention when you heard him speak that same phrase to you with a different look in his eyes.

“Oh, now you’re not playing fair,” Terek waves a finger at Cassian, before glancing over to you. “Well, if that’s how you want to play it…” 

Terek stalks towards you, like a hungry nexu on it’s way to pounce on its prey. Your eyes move down to his hand as he reaches down to his side, and when you see light reflecting from the blade, your throat tightens. Trying to crawl away from him with no avail, Terek easily lifts you up by your hair, and drags you along the floor back towards Cassian.

At this point, your heartbeat rings in your ears— you can barely hear Cassian yelling as you are brought in front of him with the blade now lined up with your throat. Terek presses up the blade against your skin, and you try everything in your power not to move. 

Balling your fists up— trying to still the trembling throughout your body— you don’t even realize that you’re crying until Terek reaches up and wipes a tear away. 

“Now, since you don’t like to play by the rules, I’m proposing a new game,” Terek articulates each word as sharp as the knife in his hand. He grips tightly onto your hair, and you don’t hold back the cry as he does so. 

Cassian’s eyes widen at the sight of the knife, and he tries desperately to pull out of the henchmen’s grasp. Terek laughs— a dark and evil sound— at his despair.

“Here's what you’re going to do, Cassian,” Terek sneers. “You’re going to tell our girl here that everything is going to be okay. That she will be okay.”

The tears are falling harder now as you feel the edge of the knife push harder against your skin. Your hands are on Terek’s arm, trying to pull it down, to pull the knife away, but it’s no use. He keeps it in place. 

“I want you to lie to her. Go on, make her believe that she’s going to be okay.”

Cassian stares, his eyes flicking back and forth from the knife against your throat to your tear-filled eyes. You had never seen that level of fear from Cassian before, and it only urged on your own. Closing your eyes, you try to steady your breathing until you hear Cassian’s voice.

“...Nova,” he says, the name so soft— softer than you’d ever heard him say before. “Nova, look at me.”

You hesitate to do so, but slowly open up your eyes to see him. His expression has changed, it is much more calmer than before, as is the tone of his voice. 

“It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay, I promise you.”

He says it so tenderly that you... almost believe him. The gentle regard in his eyes, the quiet, calm tone of his voice.  But you know better. He was trained to do anything in his power to get people to believe him— to believe every little word that comes out of his mouth. 

There is a quiet moment between you both as you stare into each other’s eyes, as if it were just the two of you and there was no Terek or his men in the same room. It takes you back to all those quiet moments you had spent with him when he would visit with you— talking about plans of when the war was over or how you would both change certain aspects of your lives. That sense of comfort and hope fills you, and you find yourself giving him a sad smile as if you do believe him.

“Alright, take him away.”

In an instant, that hope is torn as Cassian is being pulled up to his feet, and you immediately fear the worst.

“No!” You scream, trying to pull out of Terek’s grasp, but he only pushes the knife harder against your neck. You ignore the sting of the blade as it barely pierces through the top layer of your skin as they drag Cassian away. 

At this point, you are not scared of the knife anymore. You are scared— no, you are terrified of what they are going to do to Cassian. 

“Ah, ah, ahh….” Terek hums, leaning close to you. “You’re going to stay with me and play a little longer, sweet girl.” 

Cassian calls out your name and tries hard to yank himself away, his eyes still glued on yours. The room fills with your sobs and Cassian’s voice as he continues shouting the entire time, until his shouts fade away the further they take him. 

When you can no longer hear his voice, a part of you feels empty. It’s almost as if your heart was ripped out of your chest and dragged away with Cassian as they took him out of the room. Was this going to be the last time you saw Cassian? Was the last thing you said to him going to be you admitting your love for him?

Did he even believe you when you did? Or did he just think that it was all to get them to stop hurting him? 

The next thing you knew, you were being pushed onto the floor and flipped over onto your back. As you kick and squirm and scream, Terek straddles you, making it hard for you to try and get away. He grabs your wrists and pins them above your head as you sob, before holding them down with one hand and bringing the knife back up. 

Terek starts to drag it just barely along your cheek, and you automatically freeze out of reflex. He grins— an evil image that will be etched in your mind until he is finished with you. 

“Who knew rebels could fall in love, hm?”

Closing your eyes, you feel the knife continue to move along every inch of your face in a tantalizing way. The end of the knife pricks into your cheek, and you feel a drop of blood slide down your cheek along with your tears. You did not even realize you were holding in a breath until you felt him lean down. 

“Now that we’re alone, what do you say we have some real fun, hm?” 

This was not how you wanted it to end. You did not want to die at the hands of some gang leader, but all the training you went through, all the escape tactics Cassian taught you, was simply nonexistent in your mind at this point. 

All you can do is lie there, feeling helpless and alone. You close your eyes, trying to think of something, or rather someone else as you wait for your untimely demise. 

Imagine your confusion when you hear the shot of a blaster but don’t feel any sense of pain. When you open your eyes, you watch as Terek topples over on top of you. Staying completely still, you wait for him to make another movement only to realize he was not even breathing. 

Before you could take a moment to process everything, his body is being moved off of you, and your eyes are met with Cassian’s. 

“Cassian,” you breathe out his name softly— he was okay. He was alive and breathing. He was right there in front of you, close enough for you to touch. They managed to get to him before the worst could happen. And you were so relieved.

Just as you go to reach up for him, a pair of hands slide underneath your arms to lift you up. Looking up, you see the Rebel, Melshi as you remembered from his visit, helping you stand. Instinctively, you clutch onto him, not wanting to be pulled away from the first sense of safety you found since getting in this mess. 

“You’re okay,” he says as he lets you hold onto him. 

“Took you guys long enough,” you mutter, reaching into a secret pocket in your pants and placing the tracker in his hand.

“Sorry, had trouble with his other men stationed outside.”

You nod simply, before you glance over at Cassian, who watches you closely as you continue to hold onto Melshi. Your heart races as he takes one step forward, his mouth opening as if he wants to tell you something. 

He doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he presses his lips together in a thin line and nods up at Melshi, before turning back and talking to another Rebel. 

You didn’t understand. There wasn’t anything he had to say to you? He didn’t want to talk about what happened? Did you really ruin things from your confession? 

The lump in your throat grows, but you hold back your tears. You could not display your true emotions— you did not want Cassian to see the hurt. 

“Come on,” Melshi‘s voice pulls you from your thoughts, leading you out of that terrible room. You still clutch onto him, trying not to take notice of all the bodies as he takes you to the transport.

++++++

You followed Cassian’s own advice— put up your own walls to hide your feelings. The entire flight back, you sat quiet as Melshi placed bacta patches on your visible injuries before leaving you be. Cassian had made his way to the front of the ship, glancing at you every now and then as he took care of his own injuries. 

It did not surprise you that he still had not made any effort to talk with you, though with every gaze thrown your way it sure seemed like he wanted to. You were confused, so to say, but you remained impassive. 

Maybe Cassian not talking to you was the best thing to happen. Maybe Cassian was not meant to be in your life forever. Hell, with the lives you both live how could you think romance was on the table? 

Maybe it was for the best. Maybe you could easily get over this and focus on yourself and what you could do next. 

“Hey,” Melshi walks back, handing you a canteen. “We’ll take a look of your injuries when we get to base.”

“I’m fine—“

“You’ve probably got a cracked rib guessing from the way you wince each time you take a breath.”

You do not respond, instead look up at Cassian as he makes his way to the cockpit. He still had not made any attempt to talk to you. 

Melshi sighs. “At least let the doctors take a proper look, and then you can be on your way.”

That catches your attention and you look back to him. “Wait, do you think they’ll let me take a ship?”

He scoffs humorously, shaking his head. “I highly doubt that, but I can get you a ride if you need one.” 

“Can you?”

He nods, “Buddy of mine has to make a stop at the Ring of Kafrene, but I’m sure they would—“

“No, no… that’s perfect for me.” 

Before Melshi can speak, Cassian walks up. Instinctively, you straighten up, as if waiting for him to speak to you directly. 

“... We’ll be landing soon.”

“Yes, Captain,” Melshi stands, moving to grab his equipment while you are left alone with Cassian. 

The anticipation of waiting for him to say something— anything— hung thickly in the air. So much runs through your mind as he stares down at you, and you wonder what kind of thoughts are running through his own. He looks around, before he steps closer, and you see the soft glow in his features, especially his eyes. 

“Are you okay?”

You blink once, then twice, and then a third time. “You’re seriously asking me that?”

You were not quite sure why you answered with that. You did not mean to seem harsh but it was quite obvious you weren’t okay. You knew that. 

Cassian knew that. 

His demeanor changes instantly, and he is back to being the Rebel spy. He shakes his head, his hands moving to his hips. 

“You shouldn’t have been there. They shouldn’t have found you— I… I shouldn’t have given your name to them.” 

“Yeah, but you did,” you mutter softly. “And I was there. I was there to help you, to rescue you.” 

“By trading yourself for me? Why would you think that would work?” 

“I told them I could give them information, he seemed interested—“

“Nova, he didn’t care about the information. Why didn’t you see that earlier?” He snaps. “You should have known that was all a game to him.” 

“Well, I’m sorry I was more worried about finding you and trying to get you out.”

“I had it handled.” 

“That’s not what it looked like to me,” you answer, staring up at him— challenging him. 

The ship shakes as it lands, but Cassian keeps his gaze on you until another Rebel comes up to him. Part of you is thankful, because you knew at any moment you would probably burst into tears. 

As soon as the ramp lowers down, you hastily make your way out of the transport in search of the medbay. The humid air hits your skin, and you can feel the sweat forming on your brow as you make your way through the crowded hangar. With every step a painful jolt shoots up from your side, and you try pressing your palm flat for some added pressure. 

You thought back to that conversation: did Cassian just think you were simply an idiot? Why didn’t you see that earlier? You picture the annoyed look in his eyes, you should have known it was all a game to him. 

And maybe he was right, you should have known from that moment you encountered Terek that he was never going to let you and Cassian go without repercussions. 

But what infuriated you was the fact that all Cassian seemed to think of you was that you were clueless. That you went in simply without thinking and were just being an idiot.

Just as you make your way past a group of pilots, you feel a hand grasp yours, and quickly turn around. Cassian has his back to you as he pulls you along, leading you out of the hangar to a more secluded area. 

As soon as you both are alone, Cassian stops and turns to you with an unreadable look on his face. He still has your hand in his, and doesn’t seem too eager to release it.

“I have to go to the medbay,” you sigh, moving to pull your hand away. Cassian ignores your statement and continues to keep a tight grip on your hand. 

“Nova, what’s going on?”

“We already talked about this—“

“No, there’s more and you’re just not telling me.”

Turning away from him, you try to keep your thoughts exactly that— all you wanted to do was get checked out in the medbay and catch a ride away from this humid, seemingly crowded base. 

But Cassian was not stupid, he could easily read you like a book— you wouldn’t even be surprised if he could even read your thoughts at some times. 

Your jaw tightens, and all you can do is shake your head at him. “I’m sick of this.”

“Sick of what—“

“Sick of you thinking I am just clueless in these situations. That I don’t know what I’m doing— I knew what I was doing the moment I let them take me.” 

He says your name but you don’t relent. You’re angry— angry that he is trying to get out of talking about what happened other than you being there. 

“And I’m sick of you trying to cause a fight over something else rather than talking about the real issue here.”

“And what’s the real issue here?”

“What did you say to me? Back there when Terek…” 

You cut yourself off, unable to finish the sentence before exhaling shakily. “I know that the situation wasn’t… ideal, but what I said was the truth. And it kills me that you had to find out that way, but it’s true. I do love you, Cassian. I always have. But the look on your face after I said it I just…” 

You finally look up at him with pleading eyes. “What did you say when Terek… You’ve said that to me before, and every single time I asked what it meant you never told me. But then out of the blue you say the exact same phrase when Terek was playing his game with us. So just… please. Please, Cassian, be honest with me.”  

Cassian remains silent, and all you can do is stare at him, silently begging him to speak even if it’s to reject you or even if it’s any indication that he does harbor the same feelings you do. You just want him to tell you what he never did all those other moments he spent with you.

He opens his mouth and you all but ready yourself until he looks behind you, his gaze darkening with emotion. When you turn, you spot Melshi jogging up to you, nodding at Cassian before moving his attention to you. 

“Sorry for interrupting, I was just checking to see if you went to the medbay yet.”

“No… not yet.” 

“Okay, well make sure you do and come find me after, okay? I’ll help you out.”

“I will,” you smile softly. “Thank you, Melshi.” 

“Of course,” he turns to Cassian. “General Draven is looking for you, Captain.”

“I’ll be there shortly,” Cassian answers, stiffly. You take note of his tone, glancing over at him. Melshi doesn’t seem to catch it, instead salutes him before giving you a nod and walking off. 

“So, you’re friendly with Melshi now?” 

A flicker of irritation flashes through you— he was not being serious, was he? Was he just trying to say anything to get out of this conversation? You can only scoff at his words. 

“So now you’re just trying to start another fight? Is that it?”

Cassian’s previously hardened gaze eases, and he moves to reply but you are too fired up to let him speak. 

“I just don’t understand you, Cassian. You say or do one thing and then the next you’re back to being this…” you wave your hands out at him. “And I’m just— I’m sick of it!” 

“Nova—“

“Don’t. Please, just… I’m tired, Cassian. I’m tired and I’m confused and I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

You feel tears begin to brim— the ache in your chest becomes overwhelming the longer you stand there staring into Cassian’s eyes. You were tired, physically and emotionally. There was not much more you could deal with, especially not this. 

“What was it you said to me? Please… I don’t know how much longer I can dance around this with you. I’ve known you for so long and yet you still build up these walls when you’re with me that I can’t seem to get past.” 

You didn’t even know you had begun to cry until Cassian brought his hand up to your face, gently brushing the tears away with your cheek.  He has comforted you before— held you when you had nightmares. So instead of pulling away, you can only lean into his touch automatically despite the emotions boiling within you.

“I just want the truth, okay? Why can’t you just give me that? How much longer do I have to beg for you to—“

In a moment faster than light speed, Cassian had used his hands to grab your cheeks and pull you towards him, capturing your lips with his in a fervent, passionate kiss. You’re too shocked to move away, so many thoughts running through your mind that it all becomes a blur in an instant. 

It was everything— the moment his lips touched yours, you melted. You became putty in his hands as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. 

But yet…

After years of imagining what his lips would feel like pressed against yours, you wanted to lose yourself within the kiss, you truly did. But as you pull back and stare up into Cassian’s dark luminous eyes, you’re left more confused than ever. 

Was there a sense of affection in his eyes? Or were you just hoping that it was there, just as you had hoped he loved you the way that you love him?

Or worse, was he just playing you? Was he just using every skill he was taught on you and this was the spy you had heard many stories about? 

Your name rolls off his tongue in a whisper that pulls you from your rambling mind, and before he can speak, a deep voice calls for him. The both of you turn your heads, but Cassian is the one who takes a full step away from you. 

Just like that, his walls were back up.

“Captain Andor,” the man you assumed to be General Draven walks up, glancing between the both of you. You avert your gaze, looking down at the floor to give them a sense of privacy.

“General.” Cassian salutes— ever the perfect soldier.

“We’re going to need your report on the incident right now, we’ll be meeting in the mission briefing room.”

“Yes, General.” 

He soon walks off the way he came, and you are left once again in the midst of an awkward silence with Cassian, as if what happened moments ago didn’t happen. He stares down at you, regret littered upon his face— like he is torn. 

Please don’t go.

“I, Uh…” he breathes out, not quite sure what to say. But that alone was enough for you to dismiss it. “Nova—“

“It’s fine,” you shake your head, avoiding his gaze. “You should… you should go. It’s important stuff…”

He says your name softly and steps towards you again, but you squeeze your eyes shut and close in on yourself. 

“I have to go to the medbay, anyways.” 

Cassian sighs, and takes a moment before he whispers an ‘okay’. You feel him brush his fingers against the back of your hand before opening your eyes. 

Don’t cry, for the love of stars, don’t you dare cry. 

“When I’m finished, I’ll come find you. We can… we’ll talk, okay?” 

You can only manage a small nod and force a smile— hoping it’s convincing enough that you are okay. While he stares at you, obviously not convinced, the good soldier in him follows his orders and turns to leave. 

All you want to do is scream. And shout. You want to hit the wall or kick the metal crates next to you. You want to cry. 

But you don’t.

Instead, all you do is stand in place, watching Cassian round the corner to leave you behind. The kiss plays over and over in your mind, like a broken hologram you needed to fix just to skip over the next part as a way to get over the sorrowful ache in your chest. 

You shouldn’t have expected anything less. Part of you debates running after him, but you can’t think clearly enough to decide what action you would take. Would you have kissed him again? Or would you just go straight to demanding an explanation from him and possibly end up starting another argument? 

Despite everything running through your mind— despite what your heart was telling you to do— the only thing you could physically do in that moment was let your legs with each shaky step lead you to find Melshi.

As you look through the hangar, you’re too preoccupied to notice the tall droid standing in your path. You manage to glance up just before running into it, and you look up to see the familiar reprogrammed Imperial droid.

“Hello, Nova.” 

No matter how many times you insisted he call you by your real name, K2S-O still used the same name Cassian would. Cassian would bring him along for visits every now and then, and you got on well. You always teased that Kay liked you more than Cassian did. 

“Oh, hi Kay.”

“Are you looking for Cassian? He’s meeting—“

“No, no.” You shake your head. “I’m… I was just with him, so… I was looking for the medbay.”

“Well, it’s in the opposite direction. And you seem to be in a hurry to leave. Would you like for me to get the Captain?”

“No, Kay,” you sigh. “Just… don’t tell him you saw me, okay? Please?” 

“You seem to be in distress.”

A dry chuckle escapes you, and you close your eyes. “Just… please, if he asks about me just say you didn’t see me.” 

“I see. I will tell him exactly that.”

You hear heavy footsteps walk away from you and when you look back up, you see that Kay is gone. Part of you feels guilty for having Kay lie to Cassian for you— you know how loyal the droid is to him. But you just needed to leave, to clear your head. 

As soon as you spot Melshi, you take the one chance that you can get to do exactly that.

++++++

It would have been a lie to say that you were handling things well since you’ve been back home. Since you didn’t get the proper medical help back on Yavin IV, you had to stop by the nearest medic to get checked out. After a few bacta patches were wrapped around you and a lovely health stim was injected into you, you thought you would be good to go. 

If only the trip to the medic was able to help the rest of you heal. 

Sleep was rough. There were some nights you had made it through, but others you were lucky to even get through one or two hours. If you weren’t tossing and turning all night from the pain in your ribs, there were images of Terek flashing behind your eyes— you could practically feel the knife against your throat each time. 

And then of course there was Cassian and the kiss. You wondered if you made the right decision, leaving without telling him. He deserved that at least… right? Did he even bother looking for you? Even if he did… it was already too late. 

You tried not to think about the kiss often, but it was hard to do so since it was something you had truly longed for. The warmth of his lips against yours and the way that his hands felt as they held your cheeks… it was everything you had imagined. 

A few shouts between a shopkeeper and a customer bring you back to the present, and you quickly hand over a few credits before gathering your small bag of fruit and making your way home. Now wasn’t the time to think about that. 

Pushing past various individuals alike, you keep your head down as you continue back down the path to the inn. You really needed to find a way off this small moon— maybe finding a small job to help get you some extra credits or making yourself worthy of becoming a crew member on a ship would be the best ways to go about it. Either way, a fresh start might do you some good.

As you turn around a corner to an alleyway, an eerie feeling slithers its way up your back. Was someone following you? Did someone from Terek’s group survive and track you down? With your heart pounding, you try casting a look over your shoulder, but all you saw was a stray tooka cat running through the metal trash bins. Shaking your head, you quickly turn on your heel and practically run back to the inn. 

It’s nothing, it’s nothing. No one is following you, all of Terek’s men are dead.  

It runs through your mind like a mantra spoken by the Guardians of the Whills— you knew it was impossible for any of Terek’s men to survive the raid from the Rebellion and if they had, it was impossible for them to know where you were. 

Practically out of breath, you finally make it to the inn, and rush straight for your room. You make sure to lock the door and turn the lights on, feeling a little more relieved when you do so until you hear someone take a step behind you. 

“You left.” 

The bag you were carrying slips from your hand at the sound of his voice, and you listen as the shurra fruit you purchased tumbles along the floor. You don’t even bother with the fruit as Cassian walks out from the corner of the room, his eyes never straying away from you. 

He’s healed well, you note as he stops in front of you. His bruises shrunk down with a bit of yellowing around the edges, and the cuts that once littered his cheek and lips were nonexistent. 

You were too focused on looking over him that you didn’t take into account what he was doing here. It had been a few weeks since the incident, and you figured that he was going to stay focused on Alliance stuff. Were you happy that he was here?

Deep down, yes. 

Although, the expression on your face probably told him otherwise. 

“Cassian…” Is all that you can manage to say as he reaches down to pick up the fruit, handing them to you. You try ignoring the way his fingers linger against yours as he places them in your hands, taking his time to pull away. 

“You left,” he says again— dark eyes boring into yours. “I went back and looked everywhere for you. Twice.”

“I…” 

You hated that you couldn’t find the words to explain. Absolutely hated it. The longer you stared at him, the longer you began to regret the decision you had made. Maybe you shouldn’t have left, but you did. 

“When I finally told Kay, he said you asked him not to tell me that you left.”

That damn droid, you think, although you don’t really blame him. He was loyal to Cassian.

Cassian waits for you to answer, but you still can’t. Instead, you move to the small table you frequently ate your meals at to set the fruit down. Footsteps come up behind you, but you don’t turn to face him. 

“Why did you leave?” He asks in a whisper you barely catch. “I told you that I would come back so we could talk about what happened. I meant that.”

Talk about what happened. Closing your eyes, you can easily picture Cassian grabbing your face and pressing his lips to yours. It makes your heart race in the most wonderful way possible, even though at the time you were just so confused and still in shock from the events before. You still were. You didn’t know why he had kissed you or what his reasoning was— you kept telling yourself that it wasn’t what you hoped it to be, and that you were just over analyzing. 

Another soft step is taken towards you, and you can feel Cassian closer than ever. 

“...Nova—“

“Why did you do that?” It comes out too quick before you could stop yourself. “Why did you kiss me?”

It takes everything in your power not to face Cassian— you didn’t want him to see you in this vulnerable state you were in. Instead, you wait. 

You wait, and you wait until he finally speaks.

“...Because I didn’t know how else to tell you how I feel about you,” he mutters. “When it comes to… words, I… it’s hard for me to express myself by using my words. You know that.”

He’s right. For as long as you’ve known Cassian, he was more of a physical person— he relied on action rather than words. So when you finally turn to face him, it’s there that you realize just how vulnerable he is in this moment. His gaze is fixed on yours, but you know his mind is racing trying to choose what he should say next.

“So when I kissed you… I was hoping that— well, I just hoped it would show you how I truly feel. But me leaving right after… I shouldn’t have done that. I regretted it the moment I took that first step because I should have stayed and told you that…”

When he tries to continue, you watch his mouth open and close until he groans, running his hand down his face in frustration. He lets out a breath, before looking back at you, and taking a step towards you until his chest is just centimeters away from yours. 

He leans close to you, and gods, when he whispers that familiar phrase you can only stay frozen in place. You stare up at him— waiting for him to speak again.

“...You’ve always asked me what it meant, and I told you I would tell you someday.” He swallows. “It’s because I was terrified then, but now…” 

Cassian’s fingers brush against your hand, the simple touch sending your heart in a flurry of beats.

“You mean everything to me. You appeared in my life so suddenly like… like a sudden bright light— one that I have dreaded losing sight of.” He grabs your hand. “When they were taking me away, I thought that was going to be the last time I saw you. It was like the light was dimming with every step they took but then…”

He looks down, bringing your hand up to his lips as he holds it tightly. 

“I wanted to tell you right then and there how I truly feel about you. But I just…”

You place your hand on his cheek, lifting his gaze. His eyes meet yours without flinching, a sparkle of intensity between you both. 

“Tell me,” you breathe out in a mere whisper. 

You wonder if Cassian can hear the heart races due to how silent it is now and how close he is. If you were just a few centimeters closer…

“I love you. I’ve always loved you, stars, Nova. You’re my everything. You’ve always been.” He admits. “That’s what I’ve been telling you from the first moment you asked what I meant. Every time you asked me what I was saying… that was it. I was telling you that I love you.”

And that was all you needed to hear.

Those words— finally hearing what he has struggled to say and what you weren’t sure to be true before— work their way through your mind over and over on a loop. In an instant, you’re the one who closes the small space between you as you press your lips against his in a desperate, long awaited kiss. Cassian wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer as he returns the kiss. 

Everything in that moment is all you’ve ever dreamt of— as if fate was in play here. Many nights spent fantasizing about this among other things were just that, fantasies, but Cassian was here and just as real as ever. 

When Cassian’s fingers dig into your waist, you let out a hiss, and he quickly pulls back. He watches as you press a hand to your side, scared as if he was the one who hurt you.

“Sorry—“

“I’m okay, still a little tender,” you reassure, stepping closer to him. “I’m fine, Cassian.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I am,” you nod, before grabbing his jacket and pulling him back to kiss you. 

He still seemed hesitant to grab you, but when you place his hands on your waist he seems to relent. What he doesn’t do is hold back when kissing you, and you were grateful for that. You wanted him— all of him in that moment.

Sliding his jacket off, you let him lead you back towards the bed. His fingers tease your skin at the hem of your shirt, before he breaks the kiss to pull it over your head completely. His eyes slowly trail down along your body, and he freezes as he sees the small cuts and bruises. 

His expression changes, and you press the palm of your hand against his cheek. 

“Are you sure this is okay?” He asks, genuine concern laced in his eyes. “I know you… went through something horrible—“

“We both did, Cassian,” you brush your thumb along his skin. “I don’t want to stop. I want you… I want to feel you.”

Cassian’s eyes study you, searching for any hint of hesitation or even fear probably. In return, you give him a small smile, and you watch as the gaze in his eyes softens. He kisses you, a deep and passionate notion, and you each fumble with the rest of your clothes.

He lies you down, hovering over you as he moves between your legs. He trails feather-light kisses along every inch of your skin, as if trying not to miss any spots. He leads a path from your collarbone, between the valley of your breasts until he moves over. He kisses your right mound, carefully kissing and flicking his tongue over your nipple while he caresses the other one with his hand. Soon, he switches over, doing the exact same thing.

You’re sure that he can feel the way your heart beats, how it races with each kiss, nibble, and lick he gives you. A quiet hum escapes you, and you glance down as you feel Cassian continue his course. He takes careful measure to kiss every bruise and cut that litters your skin along your torso, a silent apology almost. 

Arousal pools between your legs with every single touch Cassian makes— you’re sure to be dripping by the end. Cassian moves down lower, his lips brushing against your thighs as he inches closer to your aching sex. 

“You smell so sweet,” his voice comes out in a deep whisper. “Always wondered what you tasted like. Had so many dreams about making you come with my mouth.” 

His fingers brush against your wet pussy lips, gathering the slick as he moves up and gently circles your sensitive clit. By this time, you’re already lost. Your mind is left in a daze; the touches, kisses, and the words coming from Cassian hits you hard each time. He had dreams about you—like you did him— but hearing him saying this out loud only turned you on even more. 

He looks up, staring deep into your eyes.’”Can I...“ 

When you feel Cassian begin to push your thighs further apart, you sit up, and pull him back up. Confusion covers his face and you kiss him deeply. While the thought of Cassian delving between your thighs and making you come just from his mouth sounds exquisite, you simply want to feel him inside you already. When you tell him just that, he nods, and presses his lips to yours as you lie back down. 

His hard cock brushes against the inside of your thigh, and fuck you are just aching for him. He nestles between your thighs, breaking the kiss to stare down at you.

“Are you—“

“Don’t you dare stop, Cassian Andor.” 

Something flashes in his eyes, whether it be amusement or adoration, it’s gone before he leans down to take your lips with his. Cassian grabs one of your hands and presses it next to your head, entwining his fingers with yours, and when he pushes inside of you, you see stars. 

No, you see the entire galaxy.

You and Cassian seem to inhale sharply at the same time, and he squeezes your hand tightly. He feels perfect, as if you were both made for each other. And when he starts moving, it’s even better than you’ve imagined. 

Sure, you were no stranger to sharing a bed with someone, but it was nothing like this. It wasn’t the face of whatever current partner you were taking that flashed through your mind, but it was always Cassian’s. For so long, you had wondered what it would feel like to have Cassian inside you— to feel his hands caress every inch of your body as you both bring each other to the brink of ecstasy. 

You no longer had to wonder, because every thrust from Cassian was everything. This wasn’t just sex with Cassian, this was making love, and by the gods you never wanted to forget this moment. It’s slow, but hard— like he is trying to make sure to hit every spot inside of you. His fingers dig into your hip, but the pleasure you’re receiving erases any sense of pain you felt from your bruises. 

When you throw your head back against the pillow, Cassian is quick to kiss your pulse— a moan escapes you as he begins flicking his tongue and sucking your skin. You try rolling your hips with his, meeting each thrust as they increase with pace. He never once releases his grip on your hand, instead presses it deeper into the mattress while the other hand lifts your leg around his waist. 

The new angle exposes more of you, and as his cock hits that spot inside of you, you’re left begging as you writhe underneath him.

“Kriff, Cassian—“ you’re cut off with a gasp. “Don’t… don’t stop.”

When he speaks, it’s in whispers of his language that you barely catch. Only… when you come out of your daze to listen to what he says, your chest bursts with a warmth you haven’t felt in so long as you recognize 

I love you. 

I love you.

You’re my everything.

I love you.

And stars, the way he says your name each time is like music to your ears— a symphony of moans which would soon reach that wonderful climax. 

Your free hand cups the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair gently as you pull him down to kiss you, muttering your love for him as well. Cassian returns the fervent kiss, as he snaps his hips hard into yours over and over again. You’re so close, you can feel your orgasm practically begging to be released with every moan of his name that catches in the back of your throat. 

When it finally hits you, you’re left in such a euphoric daze that the only thing you remember is the way Cassian clutches on to your hand and how he rides you through it. White lights soon flash behind your eyelids, and you can only hold tight onto Cassian. You barely catch the way he kisses your neck or how he urges you to come earnestly through short breaths. With the way your cunt squeezes around him, Cassian soon follows with his seed pouring into you.

Small whines as Cassian loses himself are heard, and as you fall slack into the mattress, you feel Cassian bury his face in your neck. He slowly rocks into you, sending jolts of small pleasure through your body, until he finally comes to a stop. Neither of you move right away, instead bask in the way your breaths sync together.

When you do move, Cassian is the first to do so, but only to kiss you lightly along your neck. You hum, tilting your head back until Cassian is now looking down at you. So many words, so many things to say to you are probably running through his mind right now. 

He brushes his thumb along your cheek, staying silent as he takes all of you in. He leans down, kissing you over and over again as if this was the last time he was going to be able to do so. 

He only stops when you pull away, and even still he has to touch some part of you to know that this is real. When you push back his hair, he relaxes. 

“...Cassian?”

“Hm? Are you okay? Am I hurting you?”

“No,” you shake your head, smiling. “I just…”

“What is it, love?”

Love. That’s what all this— what everything has been between you both. Unspoken, but there. Now that it’s said aloud, you never want to stop hearing it, or saying it for the matter.

“I love you.” 

When Cassian smiles— a wonderful sight— you truly feel whole from the way he gently touches you and the soft response of his voice.

“I love you, too. My Nova.”

[ratonnhhaketon]

Still Breathing

Read on Ao3 | Previous | Next 

Summary: Six months after the defeat of Thanos, the world is still in chaos. The threat of the Flag Smashers combined with the new headstrong Captain America means it’s time for Valencia Zicari to help save the world one more time. But, in doing so, she also has to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship.

Warnings: Major TFATWS spoilers, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, Slow-Burn

A/N: Original character backstory reveal time!! Sorry this took longer than anticipated, I planned on having weekly updates for this fic, but I’m trying to finish up this year of college and my classes have been draining me of any motivation. Hopefully I’ll be able to update quicker in 2 weeks when I’m finished. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always if you have any questions or comments about my oc or the story feel free to send them my way! Feedback is always accepted and appreciated!

Chapter 2 - So We Meet Again

The entire way to Berlin, Valencia just felt off. Going to see Zemo, after everything he did to tear apart the only family she had left, just did not sit right with her at all. Especially when she considered everything he put Bucky through. Her mind was preoccupied as they walked through the facility, her body on autopilot as it followed closely behind Sam and Bucky. She didn’t realize they had stopped following the guard that was escorting them until a gloved hand rested on her shoulder, her confused gaze snapping up to meet a set of icy blue eyes. 

“D’ya hear me, doll? I’m gonna go in alone.”

Valencia’s eyes widened in horror at his words. “What? Like hell you are!”

Bucky’s eyes moved from Val to Sam. “Both of you are Avengers. You know how he feels about that.”

Sam rolled his eyes at his words, his hands settling on his hips as his patience grew thin. “Buck, it's not like you two were known for frolickin' in the sun together.”

The super soldier held back his own eye roll at his words. “He was obsessed with HYDRA,” he spoke in a firm tone, his voice dropping with the last word. Bucky looked between the two people in front of him and noticed how Valencia was practically staring him down. 

She spoke up in a monotone voice, “This is an absolutely horrible idea.” 

“Look, we have a history together. Trust me. I got it.” As he turned to leave Valencia reached a hand towards him, catching his wrist. He immediately stopped and turned back to look at her.

“Bucky, just.. Be careful. Please,” she spoke in a small voice. Her eyes were pleading with him just as much as her words. 

“I always am.” He shot her a small smile as he turned back around, walking down the hall towards Zemo’s cell. She felt her heart sink watching him walk off. 

Valencia leaned against the wall, arms crossed over her chest and a defeated sigh slipping past her lips. Sam copied her body language on the wall across from her. “So what’s going on with you two?” 

Her brows furrowed together. “What?” 

“I know you two aren’t still together but you seemed real friendly back at the police station.” The corner of his lips turned up as he spoke. 

“Oh, my god,” she rolled her eyes at him. “I haven’t seen my boy-” she stopped mid word, mentally cursing herself, “best friend in almost a month and suddenly I’m not allowed to hug him? Especially when I thought he was going to be imprisoned?” 

Sam put his hands up in surrender. “All I’m saying is that it looked like more than just a friendly hug.”

“Even if it was, we’re still broken up.” Her foot nudged a small clump of dust on the ground. “Besides, I know he’s been trying to move on.”

He let out a chuckle. “Oh I call bullshit on that.”

“I’m serious! He’s been going on dates. His friend Yori set him up with a waitress a few days ago.”

Sam sighed, pursing his lips and shaking his head to the side in frustration. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Val. His feelings haven’t changed.”

 “I just..” she huffed. Her teeth chewed on her bottom lip as her mind worked to string her thoughts into a coherent sentence. “I’m worried. He called me the other night. At three in the morning. Which means his nightmares are coming back and I just hope to god it isn’t about what I think it is.”

“Have you thought about taking a break from work and going down to see him?” She stared at him, her jaw tightening as she held back. It was obvious where he was going with this. “He needs you, Val. Now more than ever.” 

That one sentence was enough to send her over the edge. She pushed off the wall and stared at the man across from her, tears starting to blur the edges of her vision. “Do you think I don’t want to be there for him? That I want him to suffer through his trauma in silence?” With each word her voice rose until she was practically yelling. “When Steve left I made him a promise that I would be there for Bucky to help him recover. And I was, for so long. I made sure he went to his therapy appointments and was working on his list. But I can’t exactly do that anymore when he was the one to push me away!” Her chest heaved, hot tears running down her cheeks. 

“Val, I’m sorry.” Sam stood up, crossing the space between them and planting both hands on her shoulders. Her figure shook gently from the bottled up emotions leaving her all at once. 

“I don’t even care about what happened with The Winter Soldier anymore. I wasn’t even a year old, it barely matters now.” she sniffed, looking up to catch Sam’s gaze. “I just want to make Steve proud. And I thought that letting Bucky push me away was what he needed in the moment but.. now..” she trailed off, eyes turning down to the floor. 

Sam pulled her towards him, his arms wrapping around her shoulders. “You did what you thought was right, no one can blame you for that.” Valencia pulled her eyes closed tightly, her hands clutching onto the back of his jacket. She clung to him as she cried, holding on for dear life as if she would slip away if she let go. 

After a few minutes she had calmed down enough that she was only sniffling. “Do you think I made the wrong choice?” Sam mumbled, breaking the silence. 

“What?” Valencia looked up at him, eyes still glassy from residual tears. 

“Do you think I should have given up the shield?” 

“Sam, that was your decision. And I’ll stand by whatever choice you made because I know you did what you thought was right.” He wanted to do right by Steve, just like she did, but it was difficult. He didn’t truly know if he was capable of handling everything that came with carrying the shield. 

His eyes moved from the patch of wall he was staring at ahead of him and back down to Val as she pulled away from him, her left hand coming up to wipe away the stray tears from her cheeks. “I’m not mad that you gave up the shield, Sam. I understand that it was your decision and you thought it was just going to sit at the Smithsonian exhibit. I’m only mad at the goddamn government for giving it to that prick who wishes he could be half the man Steve was.” 

“Thank you. That means a lot.” 

She smiled back at him, letting out a deep breath before tugging at his hand. C’mon. Let’s go see what’s taking Bucky so long.” 

~~~~~

The three of them slowly trudged through the darkness, one of Valencia’s hands gently holding on to the back of Bucky’s jacket as she tried not to trip. “Buck, where the hell are we?” she practically whined out at him. 

“Are you serious? You wanna break Zemo outta jail?” Sam questioned from behind them, causing Bucky to turn around sharply. The flashlight he held in his right hand flashed directly across Valencia’s vision, a hand coming up quickly to shield her eyes as she grimaced. 

“Do you have a better idea?” Bucky asked in a curt voice before turning back around to keep walking. “We have no leads, no moves, nothing.” 

“But what we do have is one of the most dangerous men in the world behind bars.” Valencia pointed out, nearly falling as Bucky stopped abruptly in front of her.  

She watched as Bucky’s eyes scanned over the control panel in front of him. “And there’s also eight Super Soldiers that are loose.” 

“Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offense.” As soon as the words left Sam’s mouth Bucky had finally flipped the lights on, revealing the angry expression he wore.  

“Offense,” he said with a pointed glare. “Super soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy but he still has a code.” 

“Yeah, and all three of us have been on the wrong side of that code.” Valencia interjected before Sam could speak. “Remember Bucharest? Him bombing the UN and blaming you for it? Because the Wakandans certainly didn’t.” 

Bucky sighed, his hands finding purchase on his hips. “Look, let me walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?” 

Before he could begin to explain a loud crash came from the next room over. Sam and Valencia’s heads snapped over towards the sound, leaving Bucky to hang his head in defeat. 

Off to a great start. 

The vague outline of a person started to approach them, to which Valencia’s eyes widened as she whipped around to face the blue eyed man behind her. “You broke him out?!” she practically yelled. 

“Hell no,” Sam spoke up, pointing a finger towards the man standing before him. “You’re going back to prison!” 

Zemo stood timidly in the doorway, taking his hat off to hold between his hands before saying, “If I may-”

Immediately the trio turned and shouted “NO!” before returning to the matter at hand. 

“Okay, just, listen.” Bucky spoke in a low voice. “When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you two backed him. You broke the law, and you stuck your necks out for me. I'm asking you to do it again.”

Valencia’s gaze repeatedly flickered from Bucky to Zemo, the same uneasy feeling from earlier in the day resurfacing in the pit of her stomach. She just knew this wasn’t going to end well, but also knew that Bucky was as stubborn as a mule and would not take no for an answer. Especially when Sam finally agreed. 

Bucky looked down at her expectantly, his icey blue gaze piercing her soul. She let out a breath she did not realize she had been holding before nodding. “Yeah. I’m on board.” 

“Alright Zemo,” Sam said. “Where do we start?”

~~~~~

After finding out about Zemo’s wealth and joining him on the jet, they learned that their destination was Madripoor. Zemo explained that they had to disguise themselves and gave each of them a set of clothing to change into for their roles. 

Valencia was in the back of the plane, the curtain pulled across the doorway for privacy as she pulled on the deep red cocktail dress given to her. After repeatedly struggling to reach behind her and pull the zipper up her back, she threw her hands up into the air as an exasperated sigh left her lips. Admitting defeat, she peeked out of the curtain and spotted Bucky standing a few feet away with his back towards her. With one hand Valencia pulled the back of her dress together while the other pushed the curtain back. “Bucky? Would you mind?” 

He ducked past the curtain behind her, a warm hand taking the zipper from her grasp and a metal one landing on her hip. He slid the small zipper up her back, hand lingering between her shoulder blades for a second before she turned to face him. 

“I have a bad feeling about this,” she said in a low voice, barely above a whisper. She didn’t like seeing him dressed up as The Winter Soldier. That part of his life was behind him. That man was gone. 

His gaze met hers and he could see all of the apprehension, the fear, in her eyes. He wanted to pull her in close, to kiss away all of the uneasy feelings, but he couldn’t. Not after everything that happened. Everything he did to her. Instead he put a gloved hand on her shoulder, his thumb rubbing light circles into the exposed skin. “I know, doll. I’m not a fan of this plan, but it’s all we have right now.”

“Hey,” Sam called, walking towards where they were tucked into the back area of the plane. “You two ready? We’re landing soon.”

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[knifefather]

Greetings yall! This is the fic that I wrote for my 100 followers contest winner, @meat-husband​. I headcanon that Melone is a Scorpio, so I thought it would be a fitting to throw him a birthday party for Formaggio and the reader to sneak out of lol. I hope you guys like it, it was very fun to write. 

➼ Title: Il Mio Regalo

➼ Pairing: Formaggio/Reader

➼ Fandom: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure

➼ Word Count: 2.4k

➼ Rating: Explicit, 18+

➼ Contains: Not sfw, car sex, scratching, biting, breeding, drunk sex, afab reader and she/her pronouns

➼ Summary: For Melone's birthday, you and the rest of La Squadra take your friend out to a drag queen club. You start teasing Formaggio on the dancefloor, and he takes you aside to show you some moves of his own.

➼ AO3

It was Formaggio and Illuso's brilliant idea to take Melone out to a drag queen club with the rest of the crew for his birthday. The purple-haired stand user was having a blast as he shot back drinks and flirted with any pretty face that passed him by. Ghiaccio sat beside him, complaining that the music was too loud, like he was known to do. "What is this shit? They call this music?" he ranted, crossing his arms angrily. On the other side of him sat Risotto, who sipped on a mixed drink. The alcohol seemed to not be affecting him whatsoever.

“Hey… Where are Sorbet and Gelato?” Melone slurred, looking around the table and the rest of the busy club. One of the performers that walked by caught his attention, and he followed her with his eyes and grinned wolfishly.

“Where do you think, birthday boy?” Illuso replied, tossing one of his braids over his shoulder with a sassy flourish.

Your little sexual escapade began when Formaggio suggested that you dance with him. “C’mon bambina, it’s getting a little boring sitting around, don’t you think?” he said, swinging his arm over your shoulder. He didn't have very much to drink and he was already demonstrating that sweet, carefree attitude that you loved about him so much. “You look cute as hell in that dress, it’d be a shame not to show you off a little,” he added before kissing your cheek, chuckling.

Pesci, who was drinking diet coke, blushed at the romantic display from your boyfriend. Prosciutto rolled his eyes before taking a shot of hard liquor.  

“I’d love to,” you said, allowing Formaggio to guide you to the dancefloor, his hand protectively on your waist.

“Pesci, Pros. You guys should dance, too. You’ve been sitting around like a buncha lameasses all night!” Melone said a little too loudly, pointing at them with his drink and subsequently spilling a bit onto the table. Risotto was quiet and gave the puddle of booze a disapproving look. Momentarily, Melone and Illuso were drunkenly pushing them towards the direction of the dancefloor as well. You and Formaggio had already picked up a groove, moving against each other to the catchy beat of the song playing over the speakers. Formaggio snuck a peak of Proscuitto and Pesci awkwardly trying to blend into the crowd nearby, but the way your hips were moving against his were much more interesting than what they were doing. He looked at you questioningly, cocking his shaved head, and you grinned in response, grinding your hips tantalizingly against his.

You could hear his sharp intake of breath above the loud music, and he reciprocated the act. It wasn’t difficult for you to feel the very obvious tent in his red pants.

“Sorry, mio coniglietta dolce (my sweet bunny), you know I can’t help myself…I’m just having an amazing time, and you look so beautiful," he babytalked as you slid your hands up his shoulders, over the studs of his jacket. “I love you, you know that?”

Your eyes softened as you gazed at him. “I love you too, Maggie. Why don’t we get out of here?” you suggested, whispering against his lips as you drew closer to him. He bit his lip and nodded his head quickly.

“Abso-fucking-lutely,” he agreed. He moved to pull away from you before stopping to think. “Where are we going to do it?” Formaggio asked, quirking his eyebrow. "We need to find a spot private enough." Damn. You didn’t think that far ahead. You already had a few ideas--you both could go behind the back of the club, or in the restrooms, but neither of those options was preferable to you at the moment. Prosciutto was the one that drove you, Formaggio, and Pesci to the club and you wished that you had brought your own car.

It seemed like your boyfriend had the same idea as you, because a realization dawned in his eyes and he gave a shit-eating grin.

“Where’s Pros?” he asked, looking around. By that point, he had lost sight of him and Pesci in the crowd. The stiff member in his pants made it even harder for him to focus.

“Shit, I’m not sure,” you replied, also looking around.

Then, the lights went down and the crowd began to cheer. One of the many stunning queens made her way to the stage and began to introduce one of the performers for the evening. You and Formaggio knew this would be the perfect time to jack Prosciutto’s keys off of him if you could find him. It wasn’t too difficult to spot him standing awkwardly on the side of the crowd along with Pesci. Formaggio rubbed his hands together schemingly before looking at you. “Watch this,” he told you, grinning, before shrinking himself down to about 150 centimeters. Carefully, he approached Proscuitto, keeping his footsteps light and merging into the crowd with ease. Formaggio was right behind the man, and carefully grabbed the keys that were hanging out of his pocket. By the time Proscuitto whipped around to confront whoever was behind him, your boyfriend was gone, shrinking himself down even smaller to escape into the crowd.

“Did you see someone just now?” the black-clad gangster asked his counterpart.

“What?” Pesci responded, enthralled by the performance of the queen and drowned out by the loud music that came from the speakers.

Formaggio returned to you, returning to his normal height of 178 centimeters. He smirked and jingled the keys in front of your face. “Cranky bastard won’t ever know. Let’s get out of here, babygirl,” he said, cocking his head towards the exit of the club and cheekily smacking your ass.

The whole club blurred by you as the both of you made your escape. Formaggio was leading you by the hand out into the dimly lit parking lot. In his other hand, he was excitedly jingling the pair of keys that did not belong to him. You wondered how long it would take Proscuitto to notice that they were missing and throw one of his bitchfits, but the heat in your loins superseded that thought. You had been on the edge of your seat since Formaggio took you onto the dancefloor, and you were ready for him to be inside you. The both of you approached the chic Italian sports car and Formaggio excitedly unlocked the vehicle. He opened the door to the backseat for you and smirked. “Ladies first,” he drawled, motioning towards it.

“Thank you,” you said coquettishly before climbing onto the cushy seats. Knowing that you and Formaggio were going to make Proscuitto’s car smell like sex somehow made you even slicker beneath your underwear. It wasn’t long before your boyfriend was climbing in beside you. You were on him quickly, climbing into his lap and kissing him with vigor. He gladly returned the gesture, running his hands down your back, sides, and finally cupping your ass. You ground your hips down against the outline of his cock in his trousers, and Formaggio carefully fingered the zipper of your dress, not tugging it down yet, but playing with you. You made a frustrated noise against his lips and pulled away, putting your hands brattily on his chest.

“Don’t toy with me please,” you whined, bucking your hips against his lap and making him laugh at your needy attitude. “I’m so fucking wet from the dancefloor, come on,” you urged, pouting at him. Formaggio could never resist your cute little pout. He was weak for you and everybody knew it, but he couldn't help it.

“If you ask, you shall receive,” he said coyly, an evil look spreading over his face while he eagerly unzipped your dress. You climbed out of it easily until you were bare on his lap. His hazel eyes trailed down your body appreciatively, taking in your beauty. “God… How did I get here? This is a dream, right?” he asked breathlessly, his eyes returning to your face while his hands slid up your stomach and sides to cup your breasts.

“You’re not dreaming. But you are wearing too many clothes,” you remarked, tugging off his jacket and leaving him in his skimpy green crop top. Formaggio agreed with you and started to undo his fly. It wasn’t long before you were both bare, hands all over in seconds. The windows of Proscuitto’s car began to fog.

Formaggio was excited and a bit hasty, guiding you onto his cock already. You gripped his shoulders and moaned brokenly as the blunt tip of his manhood began to penetrate you. He let out a satisfied sigh as he slid between your wet folds. “So good… You looked amazing while you were dancing,” he said as he bottomed out in you. His cheeks lit up a brilliant pink as he watched himself disappear inside you. You started grinding against his lap, a precursor to bouncing up and down on his cock. His mouth was left hanging open while your walls hugged his member.

He gripped your waist tight and guided you back down on every thrust, breathless. Formaggio couldn’t keep his lips off of you, and he began to kiss and suck on your neck while you moved. He nibbled at your skin and you hissed out a sound of both pain and pleasure. You could feel the vibrations of his laughter against you, your reactions making him nip harder. Formaggio left marks on your skin that the cut of your dress wouldn’t be able to hide, and that excited you. All of La Squadra would be able to see the evidence of your little quickie with him. You arched your back into each thrust, driving him deeper every time your thighs met. His pupils were blown, hazy from the alcohol and the sheer lust of being inside you. He moved down to your breast, leaving more marks, and you tossed your head back. The taste of your skin was vaguely salty, the man's eyes slipping closed as the taste blossomed on his tongue.

“M-Maggie… I’m r-really close…” you breathed, your legs trembling as you struggled to bounce on his lap. He could feel your effort and he took the opportunity to remove you from his lap and lay you down on the seats. Formaggio’s smiled dopily when he re-entered you, the new angle sending a deep sound erupting from him. He picked up the pace quickly, his arms planted on either side of you while he thrust into your cunt.

“Oh, cazzo! Me too, bella, me too,” he panted out. You ran your hands over his shaved head and down his back, holding on for dear life while he drove you to climax. You couldn’t restrain yourself from clawing his back, and your partner hissed as your blunt nails ran over his skin. “H-Ha...You’re practically begging me to stuff you full of my cum, aren’t you?” he whispered, his grin unbearably handsome.

His words made your pussy flutter around him and squeeze him like a vice. “Yes! Yesyesyes,” you babbled, pulling him close. You could feel him throbbing against your sensitive walls, every vein and ridge to his member dragging over your insides. Formaggio choked out a broken curse before burying himself deep inside you. He gave a shuddering breath as he emptied himself in you, but didn’t let up his pace. He could see the need in your facial expressions, your hands drawing him closer and closer, tearing up his shoulders.

Formaggio kissed you, hard, as your orgasm hit you. Your legs locked around him instinctively, pulling him as close as he could be as you tremble around him. Your sex dripped with slick and tightened around him, not wanting to let him go. His name fell from your lips over and over as you rode out your orgasm, feeling his warm seed slosh inside you. He was trembling, too, sweat beading down his forehead and his eyes unfocused. The inside of the car was now completely foggy, only the fuzzy streetlights illuminating the space. You both tried to catch your breaths, and after a moment of gathering himself, Formaggio was the first one to speak.

“You are fucking incredible. I’m so glad I'm the one who gets to date you,” he said before giving you a tender kiss on the lips. The compliment made your heart swell in your chest. Formaggio pulled away after a moment to reach into the glove compartment and pull out something to clean you with. You looked down between your legs to see that some of Formaggio’s cum got on the leather seats.

“How mad do you think Proscuitto is gonna be?” you said, looking down at it.

“Fuck 'im,” Formaggio said, nonchalantly, before the two of you busted up laughing, still not clothed. You leaned against each other, laughing until you were wheezing. Moments like these made you realize how much you were truly in love with him. Your gigglefest was disrupted by a pounding on the still foggy window.

“Are you two shitting me?” Prosuitto’s indignant, disappointed voice sounded from the other side. “On my leather seats? Really?” the gangster roared, scoffing and continuing to beat on the door.

“Big bro, you’re going to break the window--” Pesci tried to warn, blushing hard at catching the two of you in the car.

“Let ‘em have fun! It’s my birthday,” Melone cheered from outside too, laughing, his boots clicking around on the ground. You could hear Ghiaccio grumbling, and you assumed that Melone was heavily leaning against him. Formaggio smirked at the opportunity to rub it in the guys' faces before hollering back. "Sorry! I'm not sure where her panties went, you're going to have to give us a minute to find them!"

You punched him playfully in the arm, embarrassed, and he gathered you in his arms, holding you close to his chest. “It might be Melone’s birthday, but no gift he’s received tonight is a great as the one I have right here,” he said sweetly, the joking tone he used earlier gone. “I love you so much, tesora.”

“I love you too, Maggie… You’re my everything,” you told him, your gaze soft before you kissed him, just as grateful for him as he is for you.

[roguerogerss]

A Long Day of Saving Your Ass

(gif isn’t mine, creds to the owner!)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Plot: “Hi darlin! If you’re still taking requests could you do a Bucky x reader where she gets her ass saved from literal death by Bucky during a mission and she refuses to leave his side on the way back or at the tower? And he gives her a back/foot massage to make her nerves calm down aaand they may or may not share a kiss bc they like each other? I hope that makes sense, tysm! 💞” - requested by anon

W/C: 2.3k

Warnings: mentions of fights/blood/kinda ptsd but not really? she’s pretty much just really shaken up and Bucky’s cute and protective as hell about it. also kinda sexual themes towards the end, no smut or anything though it’s all fluff!

(A/N: first of all, thank you so much for all of the love on my last fic, it really really does mean the world and that was just totally insane. okay, so, this request only came in yesterday, but I was so in love with the concept and had this wave of ideas for what I could write, and so here it is! thank you so much for this one, bby! as always, requests are open for any marvel boy you want, plus any of the stranger things boys. i do smut too hehe. any feedback is so welcome and appreciated, it really helps! please like and reblog!)

————

The quinjet was ready to take off, engine on, Steve behind the wheel. But Y/N wasn't there yet. They'd been holding off on leaving, giving her time to get out and the opportunity to do it without help, but Bucky had been antsy since he'd gotten on the vehicle and realised that she wasn't there.

It wasn't exactly a secret that he liked her, in a way that he hadn't really liked anyone in over seventy years. He'd never admitted it to anyone, not even to himself out loud, but you have to have a certain level of intelligence and basic sight to join the Avengers in the first place, and it wasn't hard to figure out.

Y/N was oblivious to it, rolling her eyes whenever Natasha teased her about 'Bucky's little crush', never taking it seriously. If she'd known that they were really serious about it, she wouldn't have hesitated to make a move. She was inherently forward, had no sense of shame whatsoever, it was common knowledge that she would've said something, at the very least.

"Hey, Y/N, where are you right now?" Bucky spoke into the intercoms, earning wide eyed glances from the rest of the team. They knew that she hated being rushed, hated being babied even more, and the fact that Bucky was doing both was probably about to blow up in all of their faces.

There were obvious sounds of struggle on her end as she answered back with a grunt, "South side, got ten guys on my case. Think I can handle it, though."

"We're ready to leave, Y/N." Bucky grunted, leaning forward in his seat and chewing at his lip. He was met back with a crash and a strangled groan from the assassin, making him shoot up and towards the exit of the ship.

"Bucky, where are you going? She'll kill you if you try to help her-" Tony was standing now, too, worried about his teammate, but figuring that she'd find some way out. Bucky shook his head and pressed the button to open the escape hatch.

"She's going to die if I don't help her, Stark. Keep the engine running, we'll be back in a second." And he was gone with that. Steve closed the hatch, radioing to Bucky to 'keep in touch' as he did so.

Bucky pulled his machine gun from the holster on his back, shooting two guards that were stationed at the front entrance of the Hydra base that they'd sneakily infiltrated, managing to only cause a few minor scenes. He was inside and backed against a wall, scoping out his route to the south side of the building, without wasting a second.

His feet pounded on the metal stairs as he made his way down to where they'd been earlier, where he knew that Y/N still was, and he looked around himself cautiously, gears in his arm turning.

He could hear the fight before he could see it, and he could tell from the noises that Y/N wasn't doing so well. A lot of crashing, thuds, groans mostly from her. The sight wasn't exactly easy to look at either, she was covered in blood, slumped against a wall and kicking her legs wildly while one of the agents held a gun to her temple.

Bucky knew that he had to act fast, and so he shot the agent with the gun without giving away his position, and then proceeded to open fire on the rest of them, trusting in the fact that Y/N knew how to dodge a bullet.

When he was sure that the agents were dead, each one of them crumpled in heaps on the floor, he slung his gun back over his shoulder and ran for Y/N, who let out a relieved sigh upon seeing Bucky. "Oh my God, Buck." She whispered. She wasn't sure what she meant by the words, what she wanted to convey in them, but he seemed to pick up just fine as he wrapped his arms around her shaking and compacted body.

"You're okay, I've got you." He rested his head on top of hers for a second, breathing heavy, just allowing himself to enjoy how it felt to have his body draped over hers. "We've gotta go, okay?"

"I can't run." She said assertively, knowing that there was no way that she'd be able to get up and run like hell, like Bucky seemingly wanted her to. He nodded once, gave her an apologetic smile, and then scooped her up into his arms without another word.

She scrambled to grip onto his black jacket, a gasp leaving her mouth as he picked her up from the floor, flesh arm supporting the backs of her knees and the metal one around her shoulders. He chuckled at her reaction, the way that she white-knuckled the leather of his combat jacket. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna drop you."

"How do you expect me to believe that?" She croaked, trying her hardest to be her usual, sardonic self, but failing miserably as she realised just how fast and hard her heart was beating.

"Because I just saved you from at least ten guys who wanted to kill you within a minute, I'm not dropping you." Bucky replied as he ascended the stairs and she buried her face in his chest, the smell of his cologne relaxing her. He allowed a soft smile to cross his face, bringing his metal hand to her head and almost rocking her like an infant or a small child who had a nightmare.

For Tony saying that she hated being 'babied', she seemed to enjoy it when it was coming from Bucky.

They were back at the ship within a few minutes. Steve had taken off, and Bucky had gone to sit in the back of the ship on his own. Or at least, he'd wanted to sit in the back of the ship on his own, but Y/N was so shaken up and had looked at him like she was a lost puppy when he'd tried to leave her alone, and so he smiled and told her to come with him.

Everyone else had looked between themselves, grinning like mad. "He really likes her." Steve commented and Natasha nodded.

"She really likes him, I'm well aware of that fact." She said.

"I've never seen The Winter Soldier so caring. And, was that - sorry if this seems outlandish - a smile? On Bucky Barnes' face? Surely not." Tony pitched in, leaning back in his chair while his friends laughed.

Meanwhile, Y/N was curled up in a chair, chewing at her fingernails and dabbing at her bloody face with a wet cloth that Bruce had given her the second that she'd gotten on the ship. Bucky watched her, his heart breaking at the way that her hands shook as she brought them to her face, at the way that her entire body shook.

"Hey." He placed a tender and soothing hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles there. "It's okay, you're safe now."

She gave him a wobbly smile that didn't quite reach her eyes and placed her hand over his, allowing him to interlock their fingers. "Yeah. Safe now."

————

She still hadn't left his side, apart from briefly so that she could take a shower. He'd offered to come back to her room with her when she'd hovered around the lounge while everyone else had already dispersed, reminding her that no one was going to hurt her.

She was laying on her bed, hair wet and wearing nothing but a big shirt, while Bucky sat awkwardly on the edge of it, twisting the sheets between his fingers. "You don't have to sit there, you know. I have a sofa, or you can sit back."

Bucky shook his head and looked round at her, she was still visibly shaking, eyes darting around to show just how on edge she was. "It's fine, darlin'. M'fine." His voice was more ragged than he'd expected it to be. "I'm just here to make sure that you're okay."

"Well," She held her arms out, "Come here, that'd make me feel okay." It was a bold move, one that told of her feelings towards Bucky, but she didn't mind much, figuring that he probably wouldn't decline her.

He chuckled, shaking his head at her, but still, kicked his boots off and lay down next to her, allowing her to wrap her arms tightly around his torso and press her cheek over his heart. "Hey, you're okay, sweetheart." He stroked her hair. "There's nothing to be on edge about, yeah? I've got you."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. Sorry, I don't know why I'm so freaked out." Her breathing was picking back up again, so Bucky shushed her and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, something that drove the butterflies in her stomach wild.

"It's okay, baby." The nickname just added to the way that her stomach fluttered, and she swallowed hard to try to forget about it. "Hey, how about I do something that'll relax you, yeah?"

"And what would that be, Barnes?" She smirked mischievously and he laughed at her.

"Lay on your stomach." He removed his arm from around her shoulders, and she looked at him with one eyebrow raised, obviously thinking that he was implying something way more forward than what he was actually implying. "Woah, no, no, no. I give good back massages, metal arm and all."

She laughed, throwing her head back into the pillows at the headboard of her bed. "Oh my God, Bucky. I hate you so much." She breathed out, flipping over so that she was laying on her stomach, back exposed to him.

"Can I pull your shirt up, or?" Bucky whispered, running his hands up and down the back of her t-shirt, and she nodded.

His breath hitched in his throat and he found himself struggling to think straight when he lifted the hem of her large shirt, to show that she was only wearing a pair of black panties underneath. She didn't seem to mind, so he didn't mention it, even though his breathing was hindered as he trailed his hands from the small of her back to her shoulders, thumbs rubbing circles as he did so.

She sighed and could've sworn that her eyes rolled back into her head as she relaxed into his touch, one hand cold and the other warm. She understood what he meant when he said that he was good at giving back massages.

"Feel okay?" He asked softly, swallowing hard. She nodded again.

"My God, Bucky, feels fucking amazing." She moaned, and he hated himself when his stomach flipped upon hearing her. "You're so good at that."

He had to stop when she said that, hands still on her shoulders but unmoving, just sitting still. He couldn't think about anything else other than sex when she was moaning like that, something that he wanted to punch himself for. It was such a tender moment, she was scared and so vulnerable, and all that was going through his brain were those thoughts.

"You okay?" She asked, and when he didn't answer she flipped back over, sitting in front of him. He looked like he'd seen a ghost as his tongue darted out to lick over his bottom lip. She reached a hand out, caressing his cheek gently to bring him back to reality. "Bucky?"

"Can I kiss you?" The words were leaving his mouth before he even knew what to do with them, what they meant and how she'd react. As soon as he realised what he'd said, he had his face in his hands, shaking his head. "Shit, sorry."

"No. No, Bucky, don't apologise. Look at me." She wrapped her fingers around his wrist, prying his hands away from his face. "Yes. Of course you can kiss me."

He furrowed his eyebrows, wondering if what she'd just said was real. She was looking into his eyes so intently, staring at the light blue rings around his pupils, realising how pretty they really were now that she was this close. "Kiss me." She whispered, and Bucky took no hesitation in complying to what she was asking of him.

His lips were on hers, and they were so gentle and soft, gliding against hers effortlessly. He pulled her closer to him with a hand on her back, the other cupping her cheek lovingly. His tongue had soon slipped between her lips, earning a soft little whine from her, as his tongue met hers and they worked out how to move them together in harmony.

She eventually pulled back, breathless, and simply grinned at him before laying back and pulling him with her. They resumed their earlier position, her arms wrapped firmly around his waist, his arm around her shoulders, her head on his chest while his hand stroked her hair. "Relaxed?" He laughed and she smiled and nodded.

"I'll get goin', it's late and you look tired, princess." Another nickname, another flourish from the butterflies in the pit of her stomach. Just as Bucky was getting up to leave, she grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him back to her, snuggling back up to his chest.

"Stay. Please."

[lonelyheartash]

In My Defense - a.i.

Part 1

(gif credit to @ghostofmashton​ / @lfwallscouldtalk��� ) this is my first fic be nice

Summary: the defense doesn’t rest when love is involved

Words: 1.5k

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Female OC

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, cock and pussy

Wanna be added to my tag list?

McKenna knew the frat scene wasn’t for her, but she needed to get out of her apartment. All the studying and all nighters she had pulled in the last two weeks earned her a night of reckless abandon. She walked into the noisy frat house, hoisting her pleated skirt up a little higher. If she was going to party, she was going to do it right. She made her way to the kitchen and grabbed herself a red solo cup, filling it with Cherry Coke and vanilla rum. She sipped her drink as she took in her surroundings.

Nearly every frat guy in the house had his hands on some girl. McKenna shook her head and downed the rest of her drink before heading off to find someone she knew. The only person she knew for sure was at this party was her old lab partner, Becky Gordon. She wouldn’t call them friends, but they were always friendly with each other. Becky still sent McKenna memes every now and then, so McKenna figured they were close enough to friends to hang out at a party together. She made her way over to the far wall where Becky was smoking a joint with a tan, dark haired boy.

“Hey, McKenna! I didn’t know you were coming tonight.” Becky smiled softly, her white teeth sparkling despite the dim light.

“I didn’t know I was either. I just needed a break from studying.” McKenna shrugged. “Thought you hated the taste of weed?”

“I do, but when it’s mixed with vodka, it’s a little better.” Becky giggled softly and took a drag, handing it back to the boy. “I’ll catch you later, Calum.” Becky said, walking to the kitchen with McKenna.

“Whatcha drinkin’?” McKenna asked, grabbing two cups.

“Vodka and Sprite.” Becky said and watched McKenna make the drinks. She handed one of the cups to Becky and took a sip of her own. “You know, I think I’m gonna hook up with Calum. I’ll come find you later.” Becky said and McKenna laughed softly.

“Enjoy yourself, Becky.” She smiled, waving her off. She leaned against the doorframe and sipped her drink.

“Hey, pretty lady. You come to these often?” McKenna looked up as a boy she didn’t recognize leaned against the door next to her.

“Uh, no, not really.” McKenna said, finishing her drink.

“I figured. I would’ve recognized your gorgeous body.” He smirked down at her.

“Who have you got here, Brody?” Another boy asked, standing on the other side of McKenna.

“Just a pretty lady, Brady.” Brody chuckled and leaned closer to McKenna.

“You’re both very kind, but I’m not interested.” McKenna said, swallowing hard.

“Mm, I know how to get you interested.” Brady smirked, twirling Mckenna’s hair around his finger. McKenna opened her mouth to protest his advances when she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist.

“Hey, babe, who are these fucks?” McKenna looked up and sighed in relief when she saw Ashton. He was known around campus as the frat angel. He was the president of Sigma Nu and worked hard to create a safe campus for everyone.

“Apparently, their names are Brody and Brady.” McKenna said, relaxing back against Ashton.

“Well, Brody and Brady, kindly fuck off. My girlfriend was just waiting for me to use the bathroom, not waiting to be hit on by two scumbags.” Ashton said, leading McKenna to the kitchen.

“Thank you, Ashton. Really.” McKenna sighed, looking up at him.

“No problem. I could tell you weren’t comfortable with them around.” Ashton shrugged and poured out a few shots of rum. He slid two to McKenna and kept two for himself.

“I really appreciate you stepping in.” McKenna smiled softly and downed both her shots, scrunching her face at the taste.

“Can’t handle your alcohol, huh?” Ashton chuckled.

“I can, it’s just not a pleasant taste. I can shoot tequila without making a face.” McKenna defended.

“Prove it.” Ashton said, sliding her a bottle of tequila. She took the bottle and poured a shot, downing it effortlessly. Ashton watched her, astonishment apparent on his face.

“Proved it.” McKenna giggled, hiccuping quietly. “Ashton?”

“Yes, McKenna?” Ashton smiled down at her.

“I would like to kiss you.” She said, the alcohol definitely hitting her now.

“Oh, you would?” Ashton chuckled. “I think I can allow that.” He smiled, pressing his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her lips mould against his. “Mm, wanna get out of here?”

“Yes, but only for a little.” She giggled, running her fingers through his hair.

“My car’s right outside.” Ashton grinned and pulled McKenna outside with him. He led her to the car and slid into the backseat. McKenna slid in next to him and straddled his hips as she pressed her lips back to his.

“I’ve never done it in a car before.” McKenna hummed, pulling her shirt off.

“I haven’t either.” Ashton mused, pulling his own off. McKenna giggled quietly and shimmied out of her skirt, tossing it in the front seat. Ashton laid her on the seats as he pushed his black jeans and boxers down. He pressed light kisses down McKenna’s neck and to her chest as he slipped her thong down her legs. McKenna gasped softly as Ashton inserted two fingers into her heat, curling them against her walls.

“Fuck, more, please.” McKenna moaned, bucking her hips. Ashton chuckled and pumped his fingers quickly. “Just like that.” McKenna moaned louder. Ashton pressed kisses to her nuck, sucking at the skin gently as he worked his fingers.

“You like that, baby girl?” Ashton smirked, rubbing his thumb against her clit.

“Yes. Oh, god. I’m so close.” Mckenna moaned, arching her back.

“Yeah? You wanna cum?” Ashton chuckled, pulling his fingers from her heat and sucking them clean. McKenna whined softly at the loss of contact.

“Please, make me cum, sir.” McKenna whimpered, looking up at Ashton. His eyes turned dark with lust as he pressed his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and moved her lips in sync with his. Ashton hummed and rubbed the tip of his cock between her folds. He held her hips tightly as he bottomed out, a low groan leaving his lips. “Fuck, give it to me.” McKenna moaned.

“You wanna fuckin’ scream for me?” Ashton grunted and pounded his hips against hers.

“Uh huh.” McKenna moaned louder.

“Words, sweetheart.” Ashton demanded, gripping her hair.

“Yes, sir.” McKenna gasped, looking up at Ashton.

“That’s better.” Ashton moaned and pounded into her. McKenna gripped Ashton’s bicep as his name fell from her lips like a mantra. “God, this pussy was made for me.” Ashton groaned, bringing his thumb back to her clit.

“Fuck! I’m cumming.” McKenna whimpered, her walls clenching around his cock.

“Not until I say you can.” Ashton said, rubbing fast circles against her clit. McKenna let out a ragged scream and dug her manicured nails into Ashton’s bicep.

“Please, sir. Please, let me cum.” McKenna begged.

“Cum for me.” Ashton groaned, pounding his hips against hers. McKenna moaned loudly as her high washed over her, her toes curling inside her converse. “Such a good girl, Micky.” Ashton groaned as his load coated her walls. McKenna gasped softly and relaxed back against the seat, both from the euphoria and the unexpected nickname.

“So fucking good..” McKenna hummed, letting her eyes close. Ashton chuckled and pulled up his boxers and jeans.

“Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll drive you home?” Ashton smiled, rubbing her cheek gently.

“Yeah, okay..” McKenna hummed and pulled her shirt and skirt on slowly, laying down in the backseat. Ashton smiled to himself and climbed into the driver seat. He drove to McKenna’s apartment as she fell asleep in his backseat. He parked in front of the building and carefully lifted McKenna from the backseat. He fished her keys from her bra and unlocked the door, carrying her up the stairs. He laid her in her bed and tucked her in.

“See you Monday, Micky.” Ashton whispered as he plugged her phone in and placed it on her nightstand.

~~~ On Monday, McKenna trudged to class, still tired from the weekend. She sat in her seat and pulled out her phone, scrolling through Twitter. She looked up when Ashton sat in the seat next to her. “Oh, hey.” She smiled a little.

“Hi.” Ashton said, a grin tugging at his lips.

“I didn’t know you were in this class.” McKenna said, setting her phone aside.

“I am. I’m also in your accounting class, theory of management, and macro economics.” Ashton nodded, leaning back in his seat.

“Wow, how did I not notice?” McKenna asked.

“I don’t usually come to class. I can teach myself better than any of these old coots can.” Ashton shrugged. “Anyways, I was thinking we could become, ya know, study buddies.”

“Study buddies?” McKenna asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Study buddies who also have sex sometimes.” He said, smirking softly.

“Well, in that case..” McKenna giggled softly. She wrote her phone number on a piece of notebook paper and slid it to Ashton. “Let me know when you’re free for either one.”

“Oh, I sure will.” Ashton grinned.

[detectivecarlosreyes]

Twists and Turns of Fate

Ao3 | Word Count: 4k | Tarlos // Buddie

Happy belated birthday my moonlit angel @letitialewiss, you deserve the world, unfortunately that is something I cannot give, so the next best thing I can do is gift this fic to you instead 💖💖💖

Let it shine 'Til you feel it all around you And I don't mind If it's me you need to turn to We'll get by It's the heart that really matters in the end

Some say your fate is predetermined, others say that you create your own fate. And then there are some that theorise that there are multiple realities; Having been created by the many changes in one’s life where each choice you make, and the decisions made by the people around you change the very outcome of your life.

In this case, the fate of two couples’ rests with one meeting; one deal; one night.

It was at a first responder’s conference where the two pairs came together. Buck and Eddie were coming from Los Angeles to attend, the 118 having been gifted two tickets by the higher-ups, in hopes that they might learn something to bring back to the team (and maybe, just maybe, influence the 118 to be less of a headache for the department in future years)

TK and Carlos flew in from Austin, having missed a closer conference that was scheduled while they were both rostered on. TK had been to one in the past with his dad, back when they were in New York and he enjoyed making connections with other first responders. He had mentioned going to Carlos who liked the idea so much that he decided to tag along himself knowing that he had some time off at that time.

It’s at the conference recommended hotel that the two pairs briefly cross paths for the first time, Carlos and Eddie accidentally bumping shoulders as they pass in the lobby. It's not until later at the opening of the conference that the four properly meet for the first time, finding themselves seated together in the same row.

It’s Buck, however, who recognises Carlos and is the first to offers his hand in greeting, “Hi, I’m Buck and this is Eddie,” he indicates to Eddie beside him who reaches around him to offer his own hand.

Carlos accepts them both with a warm smile, “I’m Carlos.”

TK leans out from his seat with a wave, “and I’m TK. Nice to meet you.”

And that’s where it began.

Over the course of the day, the four of them listened to the speakers, taking on the pearls of wisdom being presented; Making inter-professional connections with the number of attendees from different walks of life, and getting to know their different perspectives and experiences.

Over lunch the two pairs came back together to each upon discovering that despite the new connections they made, none came close to how well they got along together, finding natural ease with each other as they got to know each other more and traded stories from their stations.

Carlos and Eddie gravitated together, both equally content to listen to and occasionally throw in their two cents into the animated conversations of TK and Buck who seemed to hit it off almost instantly, acting more like long lost friends who were catching up, rather than two people who had just met.

They both share an understanding but exasperated look upon learning how reckless and prone to disaster both TK and Buck were and eventually fell into their own conversations, lamenting that they’ll have early grey hairs just from knowing them.

In no time at all, the first day of the conference had concluded and it seemed that the four of them were more than willing, after having some downtime to freshen up, to meet up again and have dinner together at a nearby bar instead of the stuffy hotel restaurant.

The mood of the bar suited them well, not overly busy but having a quiet buzz of energy thrumming in the atmosphere.  With stomachs grumbling it takes them no time at all to decide on the simple bar meal of burgers with a side of fries each.

Carlos and TK watch as Buck and Eddie wordlessly fall into an obviously well-practiced routine when their food arrives; Eddie opening his burger for Buck to take the pickles and Buck transferring a portion of his fries into Eddie’s basket.

It was amusing to them to see the LA pair acting like a couple, leaving no space between themselves as they brush shoulder and arms together but seeming oblivious to the glances stolen over the course of the evening that were clearly seen by the Austin pair on the opposite side of the booth.

They weren’t the only ones to observe couple-like behaviour, however, with Buck and Eddie witnessing the unspoken communication between the TK and Carlos, especially when Carlos went up a bought them all a round, not needing to ask TK his order, not to mention catching the numerous, practically intimate, looks the two shared.

It would seem almost comical to an outsider watching these two non-couple couples dancing around each other both wanting to ask the question that none of the men seemed to want to ask.

It was apparent to Buck and Eddie that there was something between Carlos and TK and the same could also be said about what TK and Carlos saw between Buck and Eddie but not wanting to voice their assumptions just yet recognising that they’ve only known each other for a day.

It’s not until Eddie and Carlos split off, heading to the pool table which had become free after their meal that they eventually broach the subject with their new friends, curiosity getting the better of them.

** ** ** **

Buck was watching Eddie bemusedly, knowing exactly how that game was going to go, fully aware of Eddie’s woeful skills at the game. TK could see the sparkle in his eye, a look one simply does not give their best friend. With this thought in mind, he leans across the table clearing his throat.

“So,” he draws out, “You and Eddie, are my keen eyes deceiving me, or am I seeing something going on there?”

Buck sputters on the mouthful of beer he was in the process of swallowing and turns to TK looking like a dear caught in headlights, “What? No of course not!” he exclaims in a hushed whisper, glancing over at the pool table to check that Eddie didn’t somehow overhear.

“But you want there to be,” coaxes TK, pursing his lips in amusement when he sees the scandalised look on Buck’s face and puts his hands up in mock surrender.

“Hey, no judgment here, I can appreciate a good looking guy when I see one too, even though I prefer the clean-shaven look myself.” He says has as his eyes slide over to the two at the pool table, focusing on Carlos.

“I’m not-- I mean, I don’t think he’s-- ugh,” Buck hides his face in his hand for a moment before dragging it down his face not seeing the point in refuting the claim, “Am I really being that obvious?”  

“Like there’s a neon sign hanging over your head, not that Eddie’s noticed I don’t think.”

“Oh, thank god.” Buck sighs and rests his head on the table, the fear of his true feeling being known flowing out of him.

“Would it really be so bad?” asks TK softly, causing Buck to look up sharply realising how that might sound.

“It’s not that. It’s just- he’s got a kid, who I adore, and we work together, and I don’t even know if he’s…what if he doesn’t feel the same way? I don’t want to mess up the good thing we already have just because my heart decides to skip a beat every time he smiles at me.”

TK gives him a sympathetic look and reaches across to touch the back of Buck’s hand, “I get it, I do, but from what I can tell, even after only knowing you guys for a day, is that the feeling is mutual.”

The conversation dies down as Buck ruminates on what TK had said and glances towards the subject of his thoughts, reflexively smiling when Eddie catches his eye with a grin as he leans over the pool table to take his shot. He’s so focused on Eddie, that he almost misses the look that Carlos was giving to a distracted TK.

“And what about you and Carlos?” Buck pipes up, redirecting the conversation.

TK briefly flicks his eyes over to a now pool-focused Carlos before settling back on Buck, “What about us?”

“Oh, come on, I’ve seen the way you two keep looking at each other.”

TK shrugs, avoiding Buck’s gaze as he takes a sip of his soda, “I don’t know, we’ve had our moments but that’s all they were – moments.”

Buck couldn’t believe what he was hearing. And TK was calling him and Eddie oblivious to each other’s affections towards each other when he himself was entirely missing the fact that the same could be said about him and Carlos.

“Are you sure about that?” he presses, “Because from the way you two keep looking at each other tells me that you both clearly want the same thing.”

“I…It’s complicated.”

“You say that but there’s no mistaking the chemistry between the two of you, I don’t see why you’re holding back.”

“I could say the same thing about you with Eddie.” Challenges TK, turning the conversation back on its head with a quirk of his eyebrow and sees Buck’s resolution crumbling before continuing.

“Tell you what, let’s make a deal. I stop dancing around Carlos and make a true effort if you do the same with Eddie.”

Buck chews the inside of his lip and glances back over at the two men across the room before looking back at TK, a look of determination clear on his face, “Okay, deal.”

“If this blows up in my face, I blame you.” Adds Buck, earning himself a laugh from TK who nods, before the two of them finish their drinks and heads over to join the other two.

** ** ** ** ** **

Unbeknownst to the two men at the booth, a similar conversation occurred across the room at the same time as theirs with Eddie and Carlos.

“So, you two.” Carlos slightly indicates his head towards the tall blonde as he takes the first shot of the game. “Anything going on there?”

Eddie busies himself chalking up the tip of his cue stick, “Me and Buck? No, we’re just good friends, partners at work.”

Carlos watches as Eddie surveys the table, trying to find himself an easy shot, eventually settling on a clear one towards a corner pocket and catches him sharing a smile with Buck across the room. “That’s honestly not the answer I was expecting.”

Eddie jerks his head up at that, hitting the cue ball distractedly and missing his intended target, “What’s that supposed to mean? Buck’s not- I mean I don’t think Buck is-”

“Eddie, I’ve caught you staring at his ass more than once today.” Seeing Eddie’s eyes widen, Carlos shrugs and puts his hand up placatingly, “Hey, I get it. There’s no mistaking a good looking butt especially in jeans like Buck is wearing.”

Carlos continues, “All I’m saying is that the way you two are around each other, makes me think that there’s something between you two and don’t believe it’s just friendship.”

“I could say the same thing about you and TK,” Eddie responds relaxing into the conversation as he lets his eyes flit between Carlos and TK, echoing the tail end of Buck and TK’s conversation.  

“You’re deflecting.”

“So are you.”

Carlos pauses as he presses his lips together, making quick work of the table, clearing most of his quarry in one fell swoop, and then resumes the conversation.

“Are you sure that he’s not-”

“Into guys?” Asks Eddie, as he finally gets the chance to take another shot, feeling wholly inadequate at the game after seeing Carlos make such quick work of the solid colours. He looks up after sinking the first ball of the stripes, catching Carlos’s nod.

“No,” he answers after missing the next shot and sinking the cue ball into a pocket instead, “We’ve never actually talked about it.”

Carlos dips his hand into the mesh bag of the pool table pocket and pulls out the white ball and walks closely behind Eddie.

“So, if that’s the case, who’s to say that he doesn’t feel the same way if you’ve never actually talked about it.”  He says simply as he walks past and lines up easily with the 8-ball, cracking it direction of the far corner pocket, sinking it, and ending the game.

Eddie knows Carlos was right. And the only thing that was really stopping him from finding out was fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of change; Fear that if he confesses his feelings that things would become awkward between him and Buck if he doesn’t feel the same way. Carlos had planted the seed, bringing to his attention the fact that maybe it wasn’t as one-sided as he thought.

Carlos himself was lost in his own thoughts. Eddie brought up the one thing that had been playing on his mind for months, knowing exactly what he was talking about. He and TK have had so many great moments together, but he still has no idea where he stands with the firefighter, not for the lack of trying mind you. It's why he eventually decided to let TK come to him when he was ready, choosing to make peace with TK’s indecision but not letting it stop them from at the very least being friends.

Their both distracted from their thoughts when the subjects of their affections took the game ending as their cue to come and join them. TK surprisingly wrapped his hand around Carlos’ waist and propped his head on his shoulder, whispering into his ear while Buck bumped shoulders with Eddie, giving him a sympathetic look as he notes how badly Eddie lost the game.

It’s from here that the four take notice of the late hour and decide to head back to their prospective rooms, knowing the conference would be starting relatively early in order to maximise the full day. They part ways at the elevator, with a promise to meet for breakfast in the morning.

** ** ** ** ** **

Buck couldn’t help but fidget once Carlos and TK, departed the elevator a floor before their own, with TK giving him a wink over his shoulder as the mirrored doors closed. Their previous talk had not left his mind, and now more than ever he wanted to take that risk and bear his soul, consequence be damned.

As soon as they enter the room he busies himself, unsure of how to broach the subject without blurting out his feelings

“TK and I were talking about some… stuff, and it made me realise that I never actually told you that I’m bisexual, have I?” He ends up asking with his back to Eddie as he shuts the curtains.

No, I don’t think you have,” says Eddie carefully, hope blossoming in his chest with this revelation, knowing now that Carlos might have be onto something, “is there a reason why you’re telling me now?”

Buck scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, “I uhm well it’s just that I-” he starts to say stumbling over his words before turning around and ends up doing the exact thing he didn’t want to do after seeing Eddie looking stunning, bathed in the warm glow of the bedside lamps.

“-I think I’m falling in love with you.” He blurts out and then starts rambling now that he’d opened those floodgates, “I never meant for this to happen and I understand I you don’t feel the same way but after-”

He doesn’t get a chance to say much more than that before Eddie presses a finger to his lips having taken a few swift steps until he was chest to chest with Buck, effectively silencing whatever he was about to say next.

Heart racing, Eddie lets his hand fall away as he leans in close until they were almost nose to nose, his eyes searching Buck’s, not really sure what he was trying to find. There was a hesitation between them before eventually, Buck makes a move, slowly closing the space between their lips.

With his heart fluttering in his chest, he pauses, hovering his lips a hair’s breadth from Eddie’s, giving him the chance to back out if he wanted to. The momentary pause, however, was too long for Eddie, and he tenderly joins their lips together, unable to bear the anticipation.

Time froze for them at that moment as they fell into the kiss. Eddie entangling his fingers into Buck’s hair and Buck cupping the back of Eddie’s neck. They went slowly and hesitatingly, letting the kiss fill them with warmth as they took their time exploring each other.

It doesn’t take long for passion to take over, deepening their kiss as the pent up feelings they had each been suppressing for so long taking over as they lose themselves within it, neither wanting to come up for air.

Their desire drives them to the edge of one of the beds and Buck slowly lowers himself back onto it when it touches the back of his legs, he pulls Eddie with him, unwilling to disconnect from the man just yet. Eddie falls easily with him bracketing his legs beside Buck’s as he guides the two of them down until Buck was lying on the plush covers.

Eventually, Eddie breaks off the kiss with a gasp, no longer able to ignore his need for oxygen. He braces his forearms beside Buck’s head while he keeps his forehead pressed to Buck’s as their chest both heaved against each other, catching their breath and both looking at each other in a mix of awe and disbelief.

“Wow,” breathes out Buck once his breath had slowed, “So, you’re…?”

Eddie huffs a laugh, endeared by Buck’s hesitation as if they weren’t just making out like a couple of teenagers a second ago, “Yes Buck, if it wasn’t already clear, I like guys too.”

Buck grins easily up at him, “I’m just making sure I didn’t put you under a spell or something.”

“You’re insufferable,” Eddie responds, recapturing Buck’s lips in his own sending them both spiraling again before Buck puts a hand against Eddie’s chest and gently forces them apart chasing Eddie’s lips as the man sits back, confusion painted across his face.  

“As much as I am enjoying this and would very much like to continue,” Buck gasps, sitting up to rest back on his hands, “I think we should take things slow.”  

Eddie’s face clears in understanding before softening his gaze as he takes Buck’s face in his hands and lightly touches his lips to Buck’s before pulling away looking at Buck fondly, “Okay,” he agrees, “I like the sound of that.”

** ** ** ** ** **

Carlos and TK had an interesting night themselves. The conversations the two had with both Eddie and Buck gave them the shove that they needed and after they split off from the LA pair, the two had let go of their inhibitions.

They got reacquainted, much like they did when they first got together, except the difference being that this time TK stayed. As their racing hearts settled TK found himself pillowing his head of Carlos’ chest listening to his heartbeat.

It was there that he realised what he’d been missing. Being there, being properly close to Carlos since they met, he discovered that it felt like coming home. He lamented all the time he’s wasted, accepting the fact that he’d been dancing around Carlos for far too long and resolves to make good on what he told him at the bar.

He was going to try. Try a be a boyfriend that Carlos deserved.

So, they talked. They ended up talking for hours, learning more about each other than they had in all the times they’d come together previously and promised to continue to do so when they went back to Austin.

Carlos felt his heart swell at the prospect. TK was finally being completely open with him, and genuinely wanting to make an effort. He even went so far as to ask him if he was willing, even after all these months, to actually, properly call each other boyfriends to which he wholeheartedly agreed.

Carlos let out a contented sigh that night when the conversation inevitably lulled, the pull of sleep became too much. He was still awake when TK started quietly snoring, it then that he wrapped his arm around TK and pulled him in closer, finding himself at peace.

That’s how they found themselves the next morning, waking up slowly, comfortably back in each other’s arms. It isn’t until TK reaches over to check the time, does he remember that they never set themselves an alarm and discovers that they had barely any time to get ready if they didn’t want to completely miss breakfast.

They made it with very little time to spare, finding Buck and Eddie happily sipping at their coffees as they wave the two over.

“We saved you some food before it all disappeared,” chirps Eddie, shoving the two full plates to the empty spaces in front of the seats opposite them causing the two to look at him gratefully after briefly seeing the lack of options still left when they walked in.

“So, what took you guys so long, we have to head to the conference in,” Buck looks down at his watch, “less than twenty minutes.”

Carlos glances at TK as they took a seat, “we got distracted last night and forgot to set an alarm.”

Buck and Eddie both purse their lips with a silent look passing between them before Buck catches TK’s eye, subtly quirking his eyebrow to which TK gives his an almost imperceptible nod in confirmation of their deal the previous night.

The four of them made small talk about what they thought would be talked about throughout the day as the Austin couple eat their food in a hurry. Before too long they were ready and rushed to the conference breathing a sigh of relief when they make it in time.

As they made their way across the room, Carlos couldn’t help but notice the change in the energy between the LA pair and as they trail behind the two he looks to TK who was wearing the same questioning look.

The two were being almost blatantly affectionate with each other, making TK and Carlos curious about what happened in their room that night. It’s not until later in the day that they catch a few secret moments raising their suspicions once again before later confirming them when they see the two holding hands.

It was cute to see the two no longer being oblivious dorks around each other and being adorable dorks instead. As much as TK and Carlos wouldn’t believe it themselves, Buck and Eddie could say the same thing about them, noticing the same change in their energy and each couple couldn’t be happier for their new friends.

Before they knew it the day was over, signaling the separation of the two couples having to depart, heading back to their respective cities. They exchanged numbers, offering a place to stay should either couple come to visit and promising to keep in touch before heading their separate ways.  

And they did, every so often they’d catch a call from one another, updating each other on the coming’s and going’s in their lives. It seemed even after the stories they’d heard at the conference, Buck and TK were as accident-prone as ever, causing their boyfriends much undue stress. But they continued as couples, relationships stronger than ever exactly how fate intended.

Oh, these twists and turns of fate Time falls away But these small hours These little wonders Still remain