#cosette141

[cosette141]

Before and After: a Rewrite of a 9-Year Old Fic :)

Comparing my 2015 writing (from a Psych fic called "Space") to my 2024 writing as I revise this old fanfic!

When I found a 9-year-old fanfic of mine again and couldn't stop cringing, I decided to give it a makeover, and here's a before and after of a section :D

ORIGINAL (2015):

"Get him up."

Shawn woke with a start. He winced as his head erupted in pain and his eyes cracked open. Someone had just dropped him onto solid concrete. Shawn shut his eyes, cringing from the throbbing headache. What happened? Everything was a painful blur.

"Get up."

Shawn felt a sharp kick to his back and he opened his eyes again. He was lying in the middle of an empty parking lot, the cold concrete almost soothing his pain. Everything hurt. The world was spinning.

NEWLY REVISED (2024):

Shawn’s eyes shot open, sharp agony thrusting him gracelessly into a world of pain.

A groan caught somewhere in his throat as he blinked, but his vision was a blurred kaleidoscope of gray and black— concrete? —yet the daylight only made the his pounding head more excruciating. He screwed his eyes shut, barely holding in another groan. Even with his eyes shut, the world was spinning, and Shawn desperately tried not to be sick.

“Wake up.”

The sudden voice from above him, male and unfamiliar, made Shawn’s eyes snap back open. And suddenly he realized what caused the fresh pain and the abrupt wakefulness—he’d been dropped or thrown to the ground. Yes—this cold, hard, unforgiving thing was, in fact, the ground.

That didn’t yet explain why the world was still spinning. (Other than the scientific fact that the world was spinning constantly that Gus would remind him of if he were here.) Was Gus here? Was this the Mexican border? Is this payback?

Better question: where was here?

Shawn shut his eyes again, cringing from the vicious headache. Upgrade that mild concussion from the Elin case to… whatever came after severe.

-.-.-.

AO3 link (but I'm not done revising it yet so if you read it, I'd suggest marking for later until about July 2024 to get a better reading experience haha)

My thoughts about the revision:

Back in 2015, this was my 2nd fanfic I'd ever written, my first for Psych, and I definitely can see now how much more I leaned toward "telling" than showing. Also, how little descriptiveness I used when it came to emotions.

Ultimately the biggest change I think in my writing is how nowadays I try my best to write "through a character", as if the narrative is through their eyes, feeling what they're feeling through all five senses, telling the story through their filter of what the character is currently going through. So these days if I have a concussed or confused character, I'd want to lean more toward having the narrative describe the situation in more of a roundabout way, so that the reader themselves are struggling to understand what's going on along with the character. I love stories where the reader feels like they're literally the character, or feeling exactly what they're feeling, and that I feel was really missing from the original version.

Instead of just saying "his head erupted in pain", describing the visceral experience of it was missing. A head injury is more than just pain--it's confusion, dizziness, lack of focus and memory, and a lot of that description was missing too. Rambling narratives are great for showing a confused or panicked character, and this character in particular is already known for yammering on a lot so I definitely had to add some of that in, haha.

This has been such a fun thing to do to revisit, haha. :D

[stahlop]

All of Me (loves all of you)

Merry Christmas @cosette141​! Here is your Christmas gift from your Secret Santa! I had so much fun writing this little fix it, canon divergence piece for you. I know season 4a is one of your favorites and I just happen to be in the middle of reviewing that season, so it worked out perfectly! I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you to @xarandomdreamx​ for being my beta

And thank you to the Captain Swan Secret Santa for putting this on again!

Rated: T

Ao3 Link

Emma slammed her bug into park and started beating on the steering wheel. The words of the Snow Queen echoed through her mind.

The only way this ends is you embracing who you are.

But Emma had embraced who she was. Wasn’t that why the wand had worked in the past? Wasn’t that why she had wanted to stay in Storybrooke? Because she was embracing who she was? She just needed to get her stupid powers under control, and without Regina’s help she just couldn’t get a grasp on them. 

Right now, she just needed a place to hide.

As if her magic understood her need, her hands sparked and her car went back into drive and started driving itself. 

“Great,” Emma sighed to herself. “Just like the Ford Anglia in Harry Potter.”

It deposited her in front of Gold’s cabin in the middle of the woods. The last time she’d been here he’d been beating the crap out of Mo French. She hoped it had been cleaned since then.

She slammed the car door as she got out, putting her red leather jacket back on to ward off the chill. She didn’t even bother checking if the door was locked, her magic automatically opening it for her.

“That would’ve been useful when I was younger,” she murmured to herself. The place was spotless. Definitely been cleaned up since the Mo French incident. Emma wondered if Gold even remembered he owned this place. It didn’t look like anyone had used it at all. Everything was in perfect order. No rumpled bed sheets, nothing in the sink, not even any wear on the sofa. However, there did happen to be a thin layer of dust over everything. Emma found a roll of paper towels, tore off a piece, and started dusting the cabin. She was already beginning to feel calmer. 

—-----

Henry had never been so thankful that driving in the woods had to be done slowly. After the debacle with his mom, he’d hid while he saw the encounter with the Snow Queen. He hated how the Snow Queen could get under his mom’s skin so easily, especially as he’d seen his mom go up against his mother without any regard for the consequences. What was it that made her think the Snow Queen was worse than the Evil Queen had been?

He watched as the car drove itself through the winding roads and managed to catch a glimpse of it as it stopped in front of a cabin in the woods. He wasn’t sure who it belonged to, but he was sure someone back at the loft would know. 

He followed the road back into town and ran to the loft. He could hear his grandparents, Killian, and Elsa arguing from outside the door about continuing to look for Emma some more.

“Perhaps she doesn’t want to be found.” Killian said, quite angrily, though Henry could tell he was also worried. “Since, you know, that’s what she bloody told us!” They may have only started dating, but Henry liked how concerned he was about his mom, and that he wanted to give her the space she’d requested.

“Well,” David began, “the good news is, thanks to the ice wall, Emma can’t leave town.” Henry scoffed. Of course Grandpa was only concerned about whether his mom would leave. Not whether she was okay or what she was feeling.

“The longer she isolates herself, the worse it’ll get. Her magic will just keep spiraling,” Henry heard Elsa say. It almost made him run right back to the woods to try and talk to her again. “When your powers are out of control, everything’s upside down, and you don’t want to be anywhere near the people you care about,” Elsa continued. 

“Wonderful,” Killian said with a sarcastic tone Henry knew he used when he was trying to cover up his own feelings. “Well, should we send Sneezy after her, or Happy? Which is the dwarf she despises?” Henry silently chuckled at Killians words, making his head throb and probably bleed more from his most recent encounter with his mom in the woods. But he continued to listen to what was being said.

“I was so scared that I would hurt Anna until I finally realized you can’t run away from the people who love you, because in the end they’re the only ones who can help you.” Elsa finished. His grandparents began arguing again about what was best for Emma, but Henry took Elsa’s words to heart. He needed to send someone who could get through to his mom, who loved his mom, not someone who would just talk at her. 

He took a minute to psych himself up before opening the door, just in time to hear David say “then we go out and find our daughter. Okay?”

“You don’t have to look anymore.” The adults all looked shocked to see him come through the door. Which, to be fair, he was supposed to have been sleeping upstairs. He absentmindedly put his hand to his injured head (he silently cursed himself for upsetting his mom enough that she accidentally had a burst of magic and hurt him, something she was trying so hard to not do) and pulled back his hand with spots of blood on it.

“What happened?” David asked concerned.

“Look, I’m sorry I snuck out, but I found her.” All the adults looked at him in awe. He tried not to let it go to his head, knowing he’d found her when the rest of his family couldn’t. His grandparents began talking over each other to find out how she was, but all Henry was concerned about was Killian’s reaction. He looked…relieved, yet he still didn’t ask any questions. He knew Henry would answer them in his own time. He was exactly who Henry needed to send after his mom. He’d be the only one who could get through to her.

“I’d really like someone to look at this head injury I’ve managed to get,” Henry said, focusing his attention on Killian as he said it. Killian looked at Henry, his eyebrows raised in question, which he then quickly schooled and nodded in agreement.  Luckily, his mom wasn’t the only person Killian could read like a book.

“I’ll take the lad and get him cleaned up.” Killian said before anyone else could volunteer. Henry quickly steered him to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

“You have to go to my mom!” Henry said, turning to face Killian. He expected to see relief on his face, but instead he saw something more conflicted. 

“I don’t think your mother wants to see me, lad,” his face dropped, looking hopeless. He gestured to the cabinet; Henry quickly took out the medical supplies to keep up the pretext. Killian wet a small hand towel and motioned for Henry to turn so he could get a better look at the wound.

“You’re wrong!” Henry said adamantly, then winced as Killian wiped away the blood with the towel. “You heard what Elsa said, isolating herself will only make it worse. She’s at Gold’s cabin in the woods.” He tried to turn toward Killian but he kept him facing away from him. “Do you know where that is?”

“Aye, lad, I do.” Killian sounded almost resigned, like he still wasn’t sure if he should go. Henry finally wrenched from his grip and turned around. 

“She’s scared and she’s afraid she’ll hurt someone. She just needs someone to reassure her that her magic isn’t bad. That it’s part of her. It’s like Elsa said, she needs someone who loves her..”

Killian looked shocked. Henry wondered if he’d overstepped. Despite the fact that Killian had been trying to court his mom for a few months now, they’d only started dating. Killian tilted his head down, not looking at Henry’s eyes.

“It’s that obvious, is it?” He let out a shaky breath. Henry didn’t think he’d ever seen him so vulnerable. The great Captain Hook worried that Henry knew he loved his mom.

“Well, mom’s oblivious, as usual. Or maybe she’s just using her magic as an excuse. You know how skittish she gets.” Killian gave a wry chuckle. “But you need to go. I think you’re the only one who’ll be able to get through to her. You actually listen to her. My grandparents are great, but they’re scared of her, whether they want to admit it or not.” Killian nodded in agreement. He fished out some gauze from the medical supplies Henry had brought out with a small piece of medical tape and affixed it onto Henry’s wound.

“Tis merely a scratch,” Killian gave Henry a small smile and stroked his hair. Henry understood the significance of this gesture - it was fatherly in nature. Another reason Henry knew he could trust him.

“Are you sure you know where Gold’s cabin is?” Henry wasn’t sure he’d be able to find it again.

Killian nodded. “Aye, lad. I’ve traipsed through these woods enough, I’ve got a good lay of the land. I didn’t realize the cabin belonged to the Crocodile.” He made to leave the bathroom, but turned back toward Henry. “Are you sure she’ll be alright with me going to her? I’m trying hard to respect her boundaries.” His face dropped in concern. Never did Henry think he’d feel sorry for Captain Hook.

“I think you’re the only one she will see. Though knowing mom, she’ll fight you at first. Killian smiled.

“Well, it wouldn’t be me and your mum if we weren’t fighting, would it?” A grin spread over Killian’s face and Henry thought maybe everything would be alright.

“I’ll distract the rest of them for as long as I can.” Henry said, returning the medical supplies to the cabinet he’d got them from. “You sneak out and get to mom.” Killian nodded his head in agreement.

Henry slipped back to the rest of the group. Mary Margaret started fussing over his head while David gave him a light reprimand for leaving the loft when they told him not to. Mary Margaret insisted on making something to eat since they’d all be out all night. They could use some rest before Henry told them where Emma was. As David had pointed out earlier, it’s not like she could leave town with the ice wall around it. 

Henry could see Killian patting down his jacket and pants pockets. “Bloody Hell! I’ve left my talking phone in the back of your truck.” He announced though no one seemed to be paying attention. Mary Margaret was showing Elsa how the stove worked as she also gathered ingredients for pancakes. David was pacing around, most likely trying to decide what they should do after they’d refueled and recharged.

“It’s just called a phone.” David responded mechanically, watching as Killian headed for the door to retrieve it.

“What an impractical name. I’ll be back in two shakes.” Henry observed Killian go out the door, everyone else still too absorbed in what they were doing. Killian gave a quick, awkward wink to Henry - he knew Killian would not be back in two shakes.

—---

The calm Emma had been feeling immediately dissipated once she finished dusting. With nothing left to do with her hands, the sparking had started up once again. She sat on the edge of the couch staring at her hands, willing them to go back to normal. But the doubt rapidly crept in.

She’d hurt Henry. 

She’d hurt her father and almost hurt Killian. 

The look on her mother’s face.

How could they want to be around her after that?

How could she act like everything was normal after that?

Maybe Ingrid was right and she was a monster.

“You are nothing of the sort, love.” Emma looked up to see Killian leaning on the open door frame, his signature smirk overtaking his face. She wasn’t sure if she was glad or scared to see him.

“Did I say that out loud?” Killian nodded in the affirmative. Emma could tell he was being cautious. Usually he would say ‘aye’ and it would sound incredibly sexy. But she could see his casual smile didn’t quite reach his eyes and their usual blue was closer to a stormy gray. It would be upsetting if it wasn’t….sweet.

“How’d you find me?’ Emma asked warily. She could already feel the sparks in her fingertips coming to life as if a lightning storm was on its way.

“Henry.” 

Emma’s hands went to hips. “I drove here!” She said incredulously. Killian just shrugged. She didn’t really know what to do with that. She loved Henry and she’d hurt him. She couldn’t risk hurting Killian too. It still amazed her that calling him Killian came as easily as drinking water after calling him Hook for so long. She’d known, logically, that his name wasn’t Hook. She’d called him Killian when he took care of Henry, before his memory had come back, but that had almost been like a role he was playing. The part of Captain Hook will be played by Killian Jones. And she’d called him Killian when Gold and Zelena had almost killed him and she’d lost her magic. Even after he got his hook back, he was now just Killian. But this person in front of her, the one trying so hard to give a casual indifference, she wasn’t sure who this was. He didn’t have the flirtiness of Hook or the undying devotion of Killian. 

“Your family is worried about you, love. At least give them a call and let them know you’re alright.” Emma sighed. “Henry’s fine, by the way. Just a scratch.” He added. Emma pinched her face, already having forgotten about her altercation with Henry in the woods. The Snow Queen had come after that and then everything had been a blur. 

“God, I’m the worst mother in the world.” She cried, sitting herself back on the couch, her head in her hands.

“No, love. You just have a great deal many distractions going on.” He took a small step inside the cabin. “Have you eaten?” Emma turned to see he held a bag from Granny’s. “Bear claws and a hot chocolate, just the way you like it.” He smiled, a real smile this time. One that actually made his eyes crinkle in that way that Emma knew he’d seen a lot in his lifetime, but also made him look sexy. As if on cue, her stomach growled. Killian took that as a sign that he could come inside and sit next to her on the couch. He passed her the bag and she took it gingerly, still afraid of what her magic might do, but it seemed to have calmed down with the prospect of food.

Silence permeated the room as she ate. The only sound they could hear was the wind whistling through the trees outside. How had they gone from dates and kisses and letting him in about her past, to this uncomfortable silence? This was not who they were. They were all flirtations, and banter, and heated glares. Emma didn’t like it at all. 

She was about to say something, anything, when the door slammed shut. They both turned to look and then saw heavy snow falling outside the windows.

“Crap!” She ran over to the slammed door and pulled it open. Within the few minutes it had taken to eat, there was already nearly an inch of snow on the ground, and it didn’t look like it was going to stop anytime soon. Big, fat, fluffy flakes were falling at an alarming rate. “Crap!” She yelled again. “Killian, we’ve got to get back to town!” Killian shook his head.

“We can’t drive in this, Emma!” The wind had picked up and was now howling around them, her hair whipping around her face. “Get back in the cabin.” Emma wanted to scream at him that they needed to leave, but at the pace the snow was coming down, she knew he was right. They’d be trapped and at the mercy of the elements. She nodded and ran back inside with Killian following close behind.

“Think you can light a fire for us?” He asked, nodding to the pile of wood near the fireplace. Emma looked at her hands, fearful for a moment that she might put a hole in the cabin like she did the sheriff station (she really hoped Regina could magic that back together ASAP), instead, she concentrated on the wood Killian was placing in the fire. She closed her eyes, and then hoped for the best.

“Good job, Swan! I knew you could do it!” Emma opened her eyes to see the fire spark to life and Killian grinning like a fool. The expression on his face was so infectious, she felt a grin spread across her face too. Killian was looking at her in awe. “Come here, Swan.” he beckoned her to him with a gesture of his hand. Emma took it and suddenly he was kissing her. 

As someone who had initiated most of their kisses, Emma felt slightly out of control when Killian would kiss her first. She’d only been in one relationship where the other person kissed her first and it made her feel wild and out of control. She hated feeling like that now. But the more Killian kissed her, his lips caressing hers gently, the more safe she felt. The more she felt seen. The more she felt treasured (and that was saying a lot considering he was a pirate). She pulled away at that revelation. Killian’s eyes were still closed and instead of opening them to look at her, he leaned his head forward so that his forehead touched hers. It felt more intimate than the kiss they had shared, and it made Emma extremely uncomfortable, even though she didn’t want to feel that way.

“Emma…” Killian’s voice almost sounded broken, like he was afraid she would tell him it was a one time thing again, which was ridiculous since they were….dating. But at the same time, Emma could see why he might think that. Or maybe she was overthinking things. Looking for an excuse so that she wouldn’t be too hurt when he decided to end things. Except…she didn’t think Killian would ever want to end things. And she wasn’t sure which scared her more, him wanting to leave her or him never wanting to leave her, so she decided to deflect instead.

She took a step back from him. “This isn’t a regular snowstorm. I think this is the Snow Queen.” Emma said as she headed toward the window. In the short time that she and Killian had been together, there seemed to already be a foot or two of snow on the ground.

“I gathered that, love, seeing as it’s too early for snow storms of this caliber, even being this far north.” She arched an eyebrow at him regarding his knowledge about Maine’s seasons, and he gave her a smile back. Maybe her fears were just that - fears. Why else would he change his entire wardrobe, hang out with her family, and learn about Storybrooke if he wasn’t planning on sticking around?

“She wasn’t happy about me not wanting to be her sister. She keeps trying to convince me that no one can love me with my magic. From what Elsa told me, magic isn’t abundant in Arendelle. People are afraid of it there, so I’m guessing the Snow Queen has some traumatic backstory that makes her think she knows everything there is to know about how people feel about magic.” Killian nodded, waiting for her to continue. That was something she’d never had, someone who actually listened to her. When she was younger she’d just been some dumb kid. And now her parents were too busy with their own traumas and trying to finally raise a child from birth. Well, Emma really couldn’t blame them for wanting that. That feeling of finding out she hadn’t raised Henry when she got her memories back was devastating. The fact that Regina basically gave her a do over, well, at least she still had those false memories to hold onto. Emma realized she’d gone off on a tangent in her head. Killian was still expectantly waiting for her to go on.

“She keeps calling me a monster, which I’m not. I have saved people with my magic.” She was angry now, which did nothing to keep the sparks at bay.

“I can attest to that, Swan. Without your magic, I’d be without my shadow, dead on Neverland. Or killed by a giant icicle that the Snow Queen conjured up.” Killian walked over to her because she’d apparently been pacing in front of the window as more and more flakes floated to the ground. It would have been beautiful if it wasn’t a threat from the Snow Queen. He took her hands in his and Emma was afraid that her magic would hurt him like it did Henry, but he didn’t even seem to notice it. “I’m a fan of every part of you. That includes your magic. You wouldn’t be the woman I’ve been chasing after without it.” He kissed the knuckles on both hands, which in the past would have made her squirm (in a good and bad way), but in this instance, it only reassured her. And because Emma couldn’t think of anything as poetic to say in return, she pulled him close and kissed him.

Their bodies melded into one as they walked over toward the small bed set up in the corner of the cabin. Emma certainly hadn’t expected this turn of events to happen tonight, but she couldn’t say she was sorry about it. Except when her knees hit the frame and she sat down, Killian did not follow her down, her lips chasing his as he backed away. He stayed standing and looked at her with something akin to fear behind his eyes.

“Before this goes any further, Emma, I have something to confess.”

—---

Killian hadn’t expected the day to take this turn. He’d come here to talk to Emma, to convince her to come back to the loft, and maybe convince her that everything the Snow Queen was saying to her was a load of rubbish. He hadn’t thought that things would lead to a bed. And despite having been a pirate for hundreds of years and having many a man’s wife, he didn’t want to do this with Emma with this secret hanging over his head.

Emma was staring at him, her face still flushed from their heated kiss. He was nervous, a feeling he hadn’t had since he became a pirate and raided his first ship. He was positive this was even more nerve wracking than that, because revealing his deal with Gold and what he’d been compelled to do might make Emma hate him. And while he could deal with any assortment of emotions from Emma, hate was the one that would undo him.

“I’m afraid I’ve been lying to you,” he began. Killian could see Emma’s face immediately fall, but he knew he had to get this out if he wanted any type of future with her. “Gold has been lying to Belle about the dagger. He gave her a fake, and I knew, so I blackmailed him. It’s how Elsa and I found the Snow Queen in the forest, and then how I got my hand returned to me for our date.” He was staring at the floorboards of the cabin as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. He couldn’t bear to see the disappointed look on Emma’s face, so he soldiered on and continued his tale. “Gold blackmailed me into helping him. He has a hat that collects magic powers. He forced me to collect a magical old man that he had some vendetta against. He knew I’d do whatever it takes to be with you, and he used it against me.” Tears stung his eyes as he spit the words out as fast as he could so he could get everything out. “I just wanted to be a better man for you, Swan.” He dared to peek up at her at this point. Her expression was one he’d never seen before and that made his heart drop into his stomach. “But I failed. And now because of it, I might lose you. I’m sorry.” He knew his apology was probably worthless, but he also knew it had to be said. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, head still tilted toward the floor. It felt like hours though he knew it was most likely only seconds. He hadn’t realized his hand was clenched until he felt a warmth radiating around it. He looked  to see Emma holding his hand in hers. She didn’t look afraid, or upset, or filled with hatred, she looked concerned.

“Killian,” she breathed out a sigh. “You never have to be anyone but who you already are. I fell in love with Captain Hook, the pirate. You know I wanted you at the beanstalk and that’s why I left you up there. It wasn’t you I didn’t trust, it was myself. I…I’m not good with words like you are, but Killian Jones,” she moved directly into his line of sight so they could see eye to eye, “I love you.”

The world seemed to have gone silent after her declaration. Never in a million years would Killian have thought Emma would be the one to say ‘I love you’ first. He’d known from the first moment he’d met her that he could possibly fall for her, but his need to get revenge for Milah had still been too strong. It wasn’t until he saw how desperate she was to find her son and had offered his services in Neverland that he realized just how much he’d already fallen. And then, of course, after their first kiss and subsequent admission in the Echo Caves, he knew she was the one he would give up his revenge for. 

Emma’s eyes had a watery sheen to them and Killian realized he’d probably been in shock far longer than he intended to. He could feel the sparks emanating from her hands that were still holding his, though slightly looser. He wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t said anything back or due to her unpredictable magic.

“Emma Swan,” he said, grabbing her small hand in his larger one. “Make no mistake. I love you too. I just never thought you’d admit it first.” Killian chuckled and saw Emma’s shoulders relax at his admission. She melted into his chest and he brought his arms around her in an embrace. He was sure Emma could feel his heart racing and he couldn’t help but smile at that. They stayed that way for a few minutes, just feeling the warmth from each other, listening to the crackling of the fire and the wind from the snowstorm outside. 

“I think you help my magic.” Emma said so quietly that Killian almost thought he imagined she had spoken. She pulled away slowly, putting her hands up so they could both see that the sparks had disappeared. “Elsa told me her sister’s love helped her control magic, and I’ve noticed that when I’m around you I can control it better. Usually. Yesterday notwithstanding.” Killian nodded in understanding. Just like her powers to detect when someone is lying, all her powers seemed to go awry when she was overly stressed. Killian kissed the top of her head in reassurance.

“Emma, you love me. I never thought I’d find that again. I’m honored that our love helps you.” Emma smiled at his words before leading him back to the couch where they sat huddled together. Emma practiced her magic by floating logs onto the fire. She laughed as she did it with ease. 

After a few moments of contemplative reflection (and stolen kisses) in front of the fire, Emma finally addressed what Killian had confessed earlier. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten that you blackmailed Gold and then he blackmailed you right back.” Killian froze, but Emma snuggled in closer to him. “We can discuss it later. Right now, I just want to act like a normal couple sitting in front of a fire on a snowy day without thinking about Snow Queens and Dark Ones and magic fairytale nonsense.” Killian kissed her temple, smiling against her hair. Emma grabbed his hand and hook and brought it to her lap as she rested her head against his shoulder. 

The Snow Queen may have tried to convince his Swan that her magic made her a monster, but to Killian, her magic made her the most amazing woman he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing. He could only hope that whatever the Snow Queen threw at them next, that Emma used her love to defeat her. Killian vowed that he would stand by her no matter what because he knew Emma was his happy ending, the one, as a former villain, he never dared to hope he could ever have.

Tag List: (Let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@profdanglaisstuff​ @thisonesatellite​ @mariakov81​ @hollyethecurious​ @winterbaby89​ @jennjenn615​ @kmomof4​ @superchocovian​ @lfh1226-linda​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @itsfabianadocarmo @xsajx​  @qualitycoffeethings​ @snowbellewells​ @courtorderedcake​ @klynn-stormz​ @tiganasummertree​ @therooksshiningknight @teamhook​ @deckerstarblanche​ @onceratheart18​ @the-darkdragonfly​​ @wefoundloveunderthelight​​ @earanemith​

[kmomof4]

im sorry you wrote a WHUMP FIC

whereisit

i forgot to add a ?! to the first sentence of my previous ask lol

😂😂😂

I mean... it's not entirely a whump fic... it just starts out that way...

The book that inspired the fic is called Heat Lightning by Lynda Trent, I believe. It was a romance novel I read in the late 80's, early 90's. In the book, the man is beaten, robbed, and left for dead. She finds him on her land and nurses him back to health, but he has amnesia- no idea who is he or where he's from. They fall in love, of course, but she's fighting so hard against it because what if he's married? There is of course a happy ending, but the twist in the book would REALLY work well for Emma to be the amnesiac instead of Killian. Hence why there's nothing but notes on this doc. A decision has to be made on that front before I can even begin to write. So maybe... someday... I'll make that decision and can write the fic...

Thanks for the ask, babe!

WIP Ask Game

[i-will-sing-no-requiem]

It's me! Hi! I'm your (CS gift exchange) Santa, it's me! 🥰🥰

I'm not sure if the tags on your gifts worked so let me know if you didn't get notifs for them!!

Hope you're having a merry Christmas!!

Hi!

Yeah the tags worked, I just haven't had the chance to really look at them since I haven't been online much today.

I'm super excited to see what you wrote though! (I read what they're about) and I'll look at them tomorrow (it's really late where I live)

I hope you had a great Christmas!!💖

[aceofwhump]

Hi Ace! :)

Do you have good OUAT whump fanfics? (Or any user if you know good OUAT fanfics)

They can be from any season!

Thank you very much!

Have a good day

I do!! They're gonna be all Killian Jones whump though. Hope that's okay. That's pretty much all I read (minus a few August Booth whump fics)

You Are Not Alone by scientificapricot Summary: Killian is injured in a fight with Zelena’s flying monkeys. However, he finds that he doesn't have to deal with said injuries by himself.

Don't Let Go (Because I Can't Hold it Back Anymore) by cosette141 Summary: (canon divergence for s4 episode "White Out") Rather than Emma and Elsa trapped in the ice cave, Emma is trapped with Killian. They have to keep warm and stay awake as they fight the frigid cold, or their first quiet moment together may very well be their last.

A Snowball's Chance by cosette141 Summary: After Emma rescues Killian from Hades in the Underworld, David and Snow tend to some of Killian's physical wounds, and end up healing emotional ones. (aka, Snow and David acting as parental figures for Killian) hurt/comfort oneshot

The Servant by natascha_ronin Summary: Killian is tortured in the Underworld by a familiar face.

Last Time by thoughshebebbutlitle Summary: The last time he had been in a hospital bed they had been completely different people. She had handcuffed him to the bed then, but now she waited anxiously for him to wake; the rise and fall of his chest was a reassurance that he was still alive.

To Take a Heart by MisfitWriter Summary: Set in Season 3, after the incident in the boathouse. Killian is left on his own. Zelena ambushes him with the intention to take his heart and force him to take Emma's powers. Our pirate is about to prove that there is one thing stronger than any magic...

We're Living in a Desperate Time (We Won't Give Up) by LadyofAvalon Summary: He knew he was in for bad weather when the Crocodile appeared and knocked him out again. It only got worse from there.

You can take the boys out of Neverland by WinkyCutto Summary: The Lost Ones don't like having to live by the rules and Henry and his family are about to find out that bringing them back to Storybrooke may not have been the best idea... Hook whump galore, you have been warned.

Pale by SignoriaSickFic Summary: Set in the 6 weeks of peace in S4. Killian catches a nasty stomach bug and, feeling sick, fails to answer his phone. Enter a worried Emma who finds herself playing nursemaid to her indisposed pirate boyfriend. Warning: mentions of vomiting.

[starsandmindhkhk]

drew fanart for @cosette141 fic, Shawn Walks Into A Bank!!!

so, spoilers ahead!!!

anyways!!! here's the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/13524783/chapters/31024230

Cosette is literally an amazing fanfic writer and I highly recommend reading all her fics!!!! (she has a bunch they are so so so good and so so so whumpy and amazing)

[teamhook]

Captain Swan Event

Hello, CS crew!! I come today with an event idea that has been tossed around in the discord server I run. (originally used for a different event >> CSMM) Okay, the new event  (Captain Swan Co-Storytellers Collaboration) would consist of groups of 3-4 people working together to write a captain swan story.  This is not a one person writes one part and passes on the document and so on until it reaches its end. No, this would be the ultimate team effort in an ensemble of amazing writers! Of course there are details to be ironed out but I wanted to know if anyone here was interested to join. I will share the form to get an idea of who is interested and for a way to contact anyone that wants to join in on the fun. As soon as I can I will reach out to you.

ENSEMBLE FORM

Gonna tag some people I know and I'm sorry if I don't tag everyone. If possible reblog. Thank you lovelies!

@allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 @andiirivera @anothersworld @apiratewhopines @artistic-writer @batana54 @beckettj @bethacaciakay @bixisarusher @branlovestowrite @brooke-to-broch @captainodonoghue @carpedzem @chasedancer17 @cocohook38 @courtorderedcake @darkcolinodonorgasm @deckerstarblanche @demisexualemmaswan @djlbg @donteattheappleshook @dovelyheart @elizabeethan @gingerchangeling @gingerpoliglot @holdingoutforapiratehero @hollyethecurious @hookedonapirate @hookedonaswanprincess @hookedonhiddles @ilovemesomekillianjones @imlaxdris71 @itsfabianadocarmo @jarienn972 @jennjenn615 @jonesfandomfanatic @jrob64 @justanother-unluckysoul @k-leemac @karlyfr13s @kday426 @killian-will-do @klynn-stormz @kmomof4 @kwistowee @kymbersmith-90 @laschatzi @lassluna @let-it-raines @lfh1226-linda @lonelyspectator12 @mariakov81 @motherkatereloyshipper @officerrogers @ohmakemeahercules @onceratheart18 @pirateherokillian @purplehawkcaptain @resident-of-storybrooke @revanmeetra87 @sailtoafarawayland @sals86 @scribomaniac @searchingwardrobes @seriouslyhooked @shardminds @shireness-says @snowbellewells @sotangledupinit @spacekrulesbians @spartanguard @stahlop @superchocovian @swanslieutenant @tehgreeneyes @the-darkdragonfly @thejollyroger-writer @thepirateandhisson @therealstartraveller776 @thislassishooked @thisonesatellite @tiganasummertree @tomeandflickcorner @ultraluckycatnd @veryverynotgoodwrites @wefoundloveunderthelight @wellhellotragic @whimsicallyenchantedrose @winterbaby89 @xarandomdreamx @xsajx @zaharadessert @myfearless-love @cosette141 @grimmswan @fleurdepetite @hookmecaptain @once-upon-a-pirate-ship  @undercaffinatednightmare @4getfulimaginator2022 @nachocheese-itsmycheese @booksteaandtoomuchtv @iverna @OUATadmire

[kmomof4]

Oof…

And then…

❤️❤️❤️

CS Fic: “Trapped” 1/2

I live! Apologies for the absence. My muse went on holiday way back in August and it’s only been this week that I feel she’s finally coming back to me. Leaving me just a few days to get this fic that was originally supposed to be for Whumptober wrapped up in time for @cosette141​′s birthday instead.

It is gratuitous whump and hurt/comfort with a tiny thread of plot that you really shouldn’t look too hard at. For context, this is set in some future time after the end of Once, and Killian has ventured beyond Storybrooke (who knows why? I sure don’t lol) where he has encountered some bad luck of course. Unedited and rushed a bit but hopefully not terrible? Just enjoy this for what it is and don’t ask any questions lol

Read On A03

Trapped

“Killian?” Her voice from the dark startled him, and he brought the phone back up to his ear with a shaking hand. He couldn’t remember when he’d lowered it.

“Emma?” Damn it, Killian couldn’t remember when he’d called her either. “I’m here.”

“Keep talking to me.”

“What do you want me to say, love?” 

“Anything. Just… I need to know you’re still there.”

Keep reading

[sotangledupinit]

Heads Up, Seven Up

Post the last seven sentences you wrote, then tag some folks.

Was tagged by @exhaustedpirate, tagging @nachocheese-itsmycheese & @cosette141 & @eddisfargo!

From a Christmas story I've been working on sporadically for two years, oops lol.

His older brother’s light hair has started to whiten at his temples and his beard has grown a few inches.

***

“There’s something different about you…”

No greeting, no handshake. Just Henry scrutinizing him through narrowed eyes in the doorway of Emma’s apartment. The lad stands about as tall as his chest but his shoulders are pulled back and his back is straight as a rod. The weight of his gaze is heavy and calculating, untrustworthy to a degree too.

All the talk about her son and Killian never imagined this kind of greeting.

[kmomof4]

Merry Christmas!!!

Thank you so much for another year of flails and just your friendship and support in general! You are such a kind, sweet, amazing and talented person and I am so happy to call you my friend!

Have an amazing holiday! ❤️

Awwwwwwwwww!!!!!

Thank you so much!!! I’m blessed to call you my friend too!! Merry Christmas!!!

[kmomof4]

Sooooooo, who’s gonna write it?

We as a society do not talk enough about the fact that Killian was helping Henry pick out a tie.

Like, did Henry ask him to come to the loft? Did Killian come to the loft on his own to help Henry since his mothers were missing? Was this a preplanned thing or a happy coincidence?

I wish we got to see the little moment(s) that led to this point. Did Henry ask for Killian’s opinion on which tie he should use or did Killian tell him that he could help? What were they doing the in the loft before this moment?

Also, why were they in the loft and not at Emma & Killian’s house?

Anyway, here I am, how many years later, digging for more.

[piinfeathers]

Let's spread some love 😘. What are some of your top five favourite cs fics?

i love this oh gosh, also god i have too many ;;

ok in no particular order:

breathless by AcrobatElle - LINK

genuinely cannot emphasis enough how much EVERYONE needs to read this one. there is spice, but like the most heart wrenching, bring you to your knees, soul moving thing you've ever read. i won't spoil it but please, run don't walk to read this one

a uniquely portable magic by @wistfulcynic - LINK

listen, it actually pains to pick only one of saira's fics because i love them ALL. but if i HAD to, it would be this one. this is my desert island fic, the one i reread over and over. i can't even describe how beautifully she writes and how much every fic of hers feels like coming home, but they just do. cannot recommend highly enough just going through her archive <3

running home to your sweet nothings by @sotangledupinit - LINK

gonna be a little stinker and pick mary's most recent fic. i would have also said her run rogers run fic from christmas last year buuuuut, listen. i love her current fic. i am a sucker for EF lieutenant duckling AUs where Emma is actually given a sword and allowed to go buck wild (aka what should have actually happened in the wish realm episode SORRY) so this one really hits the spot so gooood

tactical magic by @iverna - LINK

my one true love in cs fics is witch!emma in a urban fantasy setting and i love, LOVE what svenja does in this fic. also i just love the way she writes emma and killian in all her fics, they always feel so true to the characters every single time, and she treats them both with such love and attention

iridescent blue by @pirateherokillian - LINK

listen only pip could write a werewolf story about a mauling for an event called january joy and still make it one of the sweetest things you've ever read ;; i love how she writes both emma and killian in all her fics, they always feel so real to me whenever i read her stuff

also massive shoutouts to the authors i first read when i got into the fandom and got me hooked @hollyethecurious , @the-darkdragonfly , @elizabeethan and @cosette141 please just go and raid their ao3's i'm so serious

[jrob64]

Last Line Challenge

Rules: In a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tage as many people as there are words (or as many as you like)

Tagged by @laianely (whose last line I loved!)

This is for my CSSNS fic:

Will was a goofball, but he was a great assistant and a very good friend and he couldn’t imagine ghost hunting without him. 

There's no way I can tag 23 people, but I'm tagging: @snowbellewells @the-darkdragonfly @whimsicallyenchantedrose @hollyethecurious @hookedonapirate @booksteaandtoomuchtv @kymbersmith-90 @kmomof4 (again, just to make sure she does it!) @winterbaby89 @cosette141 @xarandomdreamx @undercaffinatednightmare @belovedcreation @iamstartraveller776 @beckettj @wyntereyez

[anmylica]

Let's spread some love 😘. What are some of your top five favourite cs fics?

Oof this is tough!! I have so many I love it’s hard to just pick 5. I’ll do my best, though! These are in no particular order, I’m just listing them as I think of them! I have also tagged their Tumblr accounts where I can.

1. Begin Again by Cosette141 @cosette141

2. Lost and Found by Cosette141 (Although let’s be real, anything by her is my favorite! Curse her muse for not wanting to write any more Cs lately)

3. Lover of the Light by donteattheappleshook @donteattheappleshook

4. Tempest by TheDarkDragonfly (but it’s not even close to being finished 😭) @the-darkdragonfly

5. Irish Betrothal by rylieblu @cs-rylie

ANNND BECAUSE I SUCK AT PICKING JUST 5…

Honorable Mentions (where the authors’ works are ALL recommended because they are ALL fabulous!)

6. The Tell-Tale Mutt by kmomof4 @kmomof4

7. Given the Choice by Iverna @iverna

8. Wooing Lasses 101 by nachocheese26 @nachocheese-itsmycheese

9. A Chance to Fly by Stahlop (THIS FIC LIVES RENT FREE IN KY HEAD AND HAS NOT BEEN UPDATED SINCE OCT 22!!!!) @stahlop

10. Seal the Deal by HollyeLeigh @hollyethecurious

Actually, all the authors in this list have ZERO bad fics and all their stories are recommended.

[spartanguard]

Oh, that’s CUTE! Love the sass from both of them 😉 

While You Weren't Sleeping | OUAT fanfic oneshot

Author: cosette141

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Pairing: Captain Swan

Words: 1.2k

Summary: Emma learns that Hook was a little less unconscious after their fight in the Enchanted Forest than he’d led her to believe. (tag to s3 ep The Jolly Roger)

AO3

(story under the cut!)

a/n: I personally still think that the s2 fight between Emma and Hook could have gone either way (one theory being that Emma actually won because Hook was being cocky, the other (more popular one) being Hook threw the fight because he didn’t want to hurt Emma).

I’m all for girl power so I love the idea of Emma having actually gotten the upper hand cause he was flirting too much lol and underestimated that Emma is a scrappy badass.

But this little story came along with the other theory, because I caught something Hook said in season 3. He tells Emma “Magic is a part of you, Swan. Don’t forget; I was there when Cora tried to steal your heart. I saw the power inside of you.” So, either this is a writing mistake, since he was supposed to be unconscious… or it was Hook’s flub, outing himself.

For the sake of this story, we’re going with the idea that Hook threw the fight, but I love both theories. :)

She found him where she knew she would; by the docks. And ever since seeing him again, though it’s been weeks since he woke her up in New York, she still felt a… something stir inside her at the sight of him. Something she’d felt at the town line, that might have prompted her to do something if they had been the only two people there. 

But that was a long time ago.

And everything after Walsh…

She knew she had… feelings… for Hook—Killian. 

However she didn’t yet know what to do about them. 

“Hey,” said Emma, trying to ignore that feeling when he looked her way. “I need you to watch Henry again.”

Hook grinned, but it was still a softer one than he used to have. 

Like this smile was one just for her. 

“If you wanted to get close to me, no need to use the lad as an excuse,” said Hook, smirking a little.

Emma very nearly rolled her eyes. “I’m not.” At least not entirely. “Regina is giving me a magic lesson,” she explained. “We think that the both of us combined should be strong enough to overpower Zelena.”

His features shifted into one of a little relief. “That’s about the best plan we’ve got yet.” he said with a grin.

“Yeah,” said Emma, biting her lip, feeling a little less confident than he seemed to feel about her. She had no idea how to handle her magic and she wasn’t sure one lesson was going to change that. 

“Don’t worry, Swan.” he said, the cunning slipping out of his expression, the look in his eyes shifting to something much more genuine. “Remember,” he said gently, “Magic is a part of you, Swan. Don’t forget I was there when Cora tried to steal your heart.” A change in his eyes, something like pride, like confidence , in her . “I saw the power inside of you.”

Emma smiled, a little heat touching her cheeks at the faith he had in her, nodding at his reassurance. Her magic was powerful, and that reminder did give her a little newfound faith in herself . 

But her expression halted, something shifting in her eyes, and then her eyes snapped back to his. 

Suspiciously. 

“How do you know that?” she asked, eyes locked onto his. “Cora told you?”

“She didn’t have to,” he said, his own brows kneading with genuine puzzlement. “I was there.” 

No…

“As I recall,” she said slowly, brows narrowing, “you were unconscious .” 

“I—“ It was only then he seemed to understand the direction her interrogation was heading, and he froze. Swallowing, he scratched behind his ear, saying, “—aye, yes, I was.”

He didn’t .

“Then how did you know I used magic to stop Cora?” she demanded, brow hitching up sharply. 

Hook swallowed again, eyes shifting to the ground before meeting hers. 

Lie.

Emma felt something heat up her chest. 

He did not .

“I—er, it only makes sense that’s how you—“ 

“ Hook .”

His eyes found hers. 

And then…

He grinned .

Like a child caught doing something they shouldn’t have. 

Emma’s jaw dropped. 

“I knocked you out!” she hissed.

“You knocked me down ,” he corrected, that amused grin lifting his lips into a crooked smile, and Emma suddenly wanted to smack it off. 

“Are you saying you let me win? ” growled Emma, voice hitching up an octave. 

“I’m saying,” he said, “I didn’t duck when you swung the compass at my head.”

Emma gaped at him. 

But it was there in his eyes. 

His stupid, cocky eyes. 

“I knocked you out,” whispered Emma. “You were being a cocky bastard, and I knocked you out .”

Hook winced a little. “I’ll admit to being the cocky bastard, but you know as well as I do that you didn’t.”

Emma stared him down, and he let her, and damnit he wasn’t lying. 

“But—“ began Emma.

“Swan,” he said, a little exasperatedly, “unless you’ve forgotten, I am a few centuries old. I’ve been a swordsman for hundreds of years, and you’d been one for all of five minutes.” At her narrowed eyes, he said, “Though I’ll admit, I did have quite the headache afterward.” 

Emma felt anger and a thread of humiliation course through her. 

He let her win?

He let her win?

She’d prided herself on that victory.

But something else snuck into her mind, a question that suddenly wouldn’t let her go.

She raised her eyes to Hook. “Why?”

The amusement slipped from his face. “What do you mean why?”

Emma’s anger faded. “I mean,” she said quietly, “why’d you let me win? It’s not like we were on the same side.”

His brows rose. “Emma,” he said, and it always shot a little chill down her spine when he chose to use her first name. “ Winning that fight would have meant either severely injuring or killing you.”

“So?”

He blinked. “What?”

“So?” repeated Emma. “At that point you were ‘done with me.’” She watched Hook wince at the words, and she suddenly realized he must have regretted saying them to her. “You risked your mission and Cora’s wrath for me? Why?”   

Hook hesitated. 

And Emma would never get over how strange, how rare it was to see him unsure. 

But he smiled, something soft, and he shifted her hair with his hook, like he’d done on the beanstalk. “Because I was never done with you, love.” Taking a breath, he said, “I still had the last Bean. I knew Cora and I could use it to get here, and you deserved to return to your son. I… simply couldn’t bring myself to prevent you.” He scratched behind his ear again. “And, love, I…” He swallowed. “I do apologize for the way I spoke to you that day.”

There was a touch of anguish in his eyes, and Emma found herself smiling. “You let me clock you in the face with a compass,” she said. “I think we’re even.”

He smiled too.

His eyes on her, he said, “Rest assured, love, that you are the strongest person I know.”

Emma rolled her eyes. 

His expression didn’t change. “I’m not placating you, Emma,” he said with a sort of gentle firmness. “I may have given you that fight that day, but Cora didn’t.” Emma felt herself pause, realizing that. “No one,” Hook went on, “in any of the realms had been able to defeat her, myself, Regina and the bloody Crocodile included.” He smiled. “So, trust me when I say that I’ve still yet to see you fail, and I know you will defeat Zelena.”

Emma felt herself smile. “Thanks, Killian.”  she said softly. 

Hook smiled too, something even warmer. Because Henry was nowhere in earshot, and she used his name.

Because she was also realizing that he had been the first person, other than perhaps Henry, to believe in her.

And before she could think twice about it, throwing a look over her shoulder to make sure Henry wasn’t looking their way, Emma stepped toward him, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

He stared at her in utter shock.

Breezing past it, trying to keep the heat from rising to her cheeks, Emma said, “So you’ll watch Henry?”

He looked like he was torn from a daze. Shaking himself from it, he said, “Ah—aye, of course.” 

“Thanks,” she whispered. She turned to get Henry, when Hook said, “Emma.”

She turned. 

“I’d be open to a rematch,” he said, that grin back at his lips.

Emma smiled. “I would, too.”    

Hook grinned. 

She left Henry with Hook, then walked away, heading toward her magic lesson with Regina. 

And found that she might be open to more than just a rematch.

tag list: @kmomof4 @justanother-unluckysoul @klynn-stormz @stahlop @ilovemesomekillianjones @hookmecaptain @sotangledupinit @tiganasummertree @eddisfargo @anmylica @pirateprincessofpizza @cs-rylie @elfiola

[enchantedlandcoffee]

Captain Swan drabble based on this prompt:

"Killian?!" Emma yelled as she ran into the town square, rain pouring down her face. "Killian, where are you?!" She turned around in a circle, scanning frantically as the blurry figures of her family came into view. Henry ran up to her, a solemn look on his face.

"Mom, it's Hook."

--

Emma ran like her life depended on it, heart pounding in her ears as she reached the forest, pausing at the small gathering near a tall tree.

The group parted easily for her, revealing Killian propped up against the tree, his skin an ash white. Emma fell to her knees when she reached him, immediately cupping his face with one hand as she felt for a pulse with the other.

Nothing.

"Hook?" She whispered, tears forming in her eyes as the group around the two dispersed to give them privacy.

"Kiss him, mom," Henry whispered, having led her to the woods, "You've got to at least try."

Emma nodded and wiped a tear from her face before cupping Killian's face again and kissing him softly on the lips. She pulled away, keeping her eyes closed as she prayed for it to work.

A minute passed and there was no sign of life from the pirate, causing Emma to drop her head to Killian's shoulder, tears freely falling down her face.

"I'm sorry." She whispered over and over again, clasping his shirt in her hands.

"I'm not sure it worked, try again, love."

Her head flew up from its resting place, a look of disbelief on her face as the pirate grinned at her.

"You can't get rid of me that easily, love."

-

Tagging @kmomof4 @cosette141 @jrob64 @stahlop