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sxfterhearts · 5 months ago

Text

full of you(r love)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ softdom!jiung x little girl!reader ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

♡ genre/warnings: smut (18+ mdni nsfw), unprotected sex, dd/lg themes, mention of safeword (but not used), emotional sex (is this a warning?), porn with a lot of plot

♡ word count: 3,550 words

♡ author's note: i'm scared cos this fic i've been working on for the past month is going out into the world.. pls be kind im a fluff writer with no smut experience but choi jiung made me write this?!???! dedicating this fic to all my lovely tumblr moots and anons who encouraged me throughout this process, and especially @348kg (this fic wouldnt exist without u) and @kisseobie (ur my inspiration rosa) <333 fr smut writers yall are elite u have my respect omfg

“Yeah? Are you sure, eomma? I think it’s looking a little too red… Oh wait,” Jiung paused mid-sentence, lips lifting automatically into a smile as he heard the familiar chime of the keypad code being punched into the door. You were home, finally. “Y/N’s home. Yeah, mhmm… Okay, I’ll tell her that. Yup, okay… Yeah, one spoon, got it. Thank you so much! Mhmm, I’m hanging up. Okay, love you too, bye!”

He turned around, placing his red phone in the pocket of his apron, a gift you got him when he declared he wanted to learn how to cook better meals. Jiung turned the fire down to a low simmer, but not before inhaling the fragrant aroma of his own home cooking. Smiling proudly, he wiped his hands on the apron and made his way towards the entrance of your shared apartment. “Y/N! You’re back.”

The smile was promptly wiped off his face when he saw your dishevelled figure at the doorway, struggling to peel your goddamned heels off your sore feet. The hair that you usually wore up in a ponytail was hanging towards the floor in a frizzy black mop. You bore such a close resemblance to the female ghosts in those old-school horror movies that Jiung nearly jumped in fright.

“Hey, let me.” He called out softly, crouching down to undo the straps of your heels and peel your bag off your tired shoulders, before carefully placing the shoes back on the shelves.

“Jiung…” You mumbled, voice small and tired. You huffed out a deep sigh. “I had the worst day ever, I’m not even joking.”

Jiung looked at you and took you in, like really took in your entire being, and realised that he had not seen you in such a state for a while. “Yeah?” He smiled sympathetically, arms coming to wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against him and guiding your heavy head to rest against his broad shoulders. His palm cradled the back of your head, smoothing down your hair and pressing his lips against your temples in greeting.

“Yeah, my stupid manager doesn’t understand that I can’t deliver the same results because we are literally one man down. What am I supposed to do when the other manager is on leave for a whole month? Why doesn’t he understand that I can’t train my staff and lead the project at the same time? It’s so frustrating. And whenever I try to voice out my concerns, it’s like he’s deaf or something, I swear…” You grumbled angrily.

“Hmm,” Jiung hummed, listening intently. “It does sound like a really tough day, baby. But you know what will make it better?”

“Hmm?”

“I made you dinner.”

As if on cue, Jiung felt, rather than heard, your stomach grumble, signalling your hunger. His brows scrunched up as he asked, yet fearing the answer altogether, “When was the last time you ate, Y/N?”

You went silent.

Jiung sighed, shaking his head. “C’mon, silly girl. I made your favourite. It’s my mum’s recipe too. Just sit and I’ll get it ready for you.”

It was your turn to shake your head this time. “No, your baby wants hugs.” You insisted childishly, your cool, strict manager facade from work disappearing the moment you were in the presence of your boyfriend of four years. You pouted and hugged him tighter, absolutely refusing to budge.

Jiung laughed, finding your current state endearing. He knew it was because you were so tired and worn out, and decided to make the most of the opportunity. “Fine, it’s up to you. You are my baby, after all…”

As the night wore on, you refused to leave his side for even a moment, sticking to Jiung like a koala clung to a tree. You insisted on hugging him from behind as he scooped the kimchi jjigae into two separate bowls, topping them with spring onions and a teaspoon of sesame oil each and serving them up with bowls of steaming, multigrain rice. You held on tight as you sat on his lap at the dining table, limbs intertwining with his as you begged him to feed you instead, feeling ‘too tired’ all of a sudden to even lift a spoon because of the rough work day. You even grasped the hem of his white, paper thin t-shirt desperately when he so much as got up to grab more side dishes from the fridge, insisting that he let you stay like this for longer because you missed him way too much.

“Baby…” Jiung cooed, repositioning his big hands on your hips, reaching under your tight work blouse to caress your soft skin and leaving goosebumps in its wake. “What is it? I know you’ve had a hard time today, but you’re very clingy.” He lightly teased, eyes downcast as he looked at you with feigned suspicion. In reality, after being together for so long, it wasn’t hard for Jiung to know your true intentions.

You refused to meet his eyes, pretending to pay him no mind as you chewed on the last mouthful of rice, all while twirling the strings of his apron around your fingers.

“Babe…”

“Hmm?”

“Are you going to be a good girl and use your words? Hmm?” He prompted, voice turning slightly harder.

When you failed to respond, Jiung used his long, slim fingers to tilt your chin towards him and hold it there. “Words, baby. I need you to say something, okay?”

Your desperate, pleading eyes met his unwavering gaze, and you felt your body shiver at the intensity behind it. “Yeah…” You whispered, suddenly feeling small.

“What do you need… Can you tell me?” Jiung pressed on, yet his eyes caught sight of a stray piece of rice lingering on the corner of your lips. He moved his thumb towards the rice and both of you followed his movement. As though in slow motion, your tongue darted out to lick his finger – shy, like a kitten. When you noticed that he didn’t respond, and just tracked your next move with the eyes of a hawk, you daringly relaxed your jaw and sucked it into your wet, warm mouth.

Jiung felt his cock stir under two layers of clothing and your plush ass.

You saw how his pupils blew out. Feeling satisfied with the effect you had on him, you released his thumb with a loud pop. “Jiung, can you take care of me tonight, please?” You asked shyly, batting your eyelashes. The stark contrast between the lewd request and your bashful tone made your boyfriend’s head spin.

Behind closed doors, you were completely comfortable with Jiung taking full control and treating you like his baby girl. Tonight was no different. It wasn’t often that you got the opportunity to take things all the way. In fact, you struggled to even remember when was the last time Jiung even called you his baby. Especially not since you started on this project, which has been the cause of all your grievances in the past three months.

But tonight, you were determined to break the drought. Something within you snapped this afternoon when your boss made a big show of throwing your report in the trash whilst yelling colourful profanities in front of the entire team. It was the last straw after a series of small, seemingly insignificant inconveniences that eventually snowballed. You felt like a pressure cooker, finally exploding at your incompetent boss.

The entire torment drained you so much that truthfully, you really didn’t want to do anything for yourself anymore. Sure, you could feed yourself, and sure, you could sit upright on your own, but you really appreciated that since stepping foot into the apartment, Jiung had taken care of everything – from removing your shoes, to making sure you were fed and comfortable. You didn’t even need to think; you just trusted and knew that he would shut your brain down and handle everything for you.

Being someone who was naturally independent and strong-headed in the workplace, you knew that anyone who found out you acted like this with your boyfriend would hang their jaws in utter disbelief. Yet here you were, being carried to the sofa by Jiung as you nibbled on his neck in fervour.

“You sure you want this tonight, baby?” Jiung sat you down and kneeled at eye-level in front of you to ask, all serious and concerned. But his mind was slowly getting clouded as your teeth sunk into a soft spot close to his earlobes, sucking greedily. “There’s no turning back for you if you say yes, and…” He paused to take a breath, letting his responsibility over you rise up to the surface. “I will take care of you as always, but you’re in quite a state now, and I don’t want to risk you having a bad time.”

Jiung felt you nod wordlessly in response, but it wasn’t enough for him. The soft dom inside of him was screaming for your verbal consent. “Baby, if you don’t tell me our safe word now, I’m going to have to stop, okay?” He warned, using the tone you registered as being slightly stern when you descended into your little persona.

“Blue,” You muttered directly into his ears. You rubbed your thighs together involuntarily. Truthfully, you had been thinking about this since you were in the office, and you weren’t sure if you could hold it in any longer. “It’s blue, please… I thought about this at work…” Your lips moved closer and captured his earlobe, sucking on it in a silent attempt to speed things up.

Shit shit shit – Jiung could only let out a choked hum as you attacked his sensitive spot. He knew that even though you were his little girl, deep down you were still a vixen begging and yearning to be fucked, and he knew you knew all the right buttons to push to get what you wanted.

He was never very good at denying you, anyway. Jiung spoiled you rotten, he thought, as he pulled you away from him. “Sit up for me, baby. I want you to be a good girl for me and suck my cock first. Can you do that?”

You nodded way too eagerly, eyes shining and lips parted as you looked up at him, waiting for Jiung to rid himself of his sweats and boxers, all in one go. You felt saliva pool in the back of your throat as you finally caught sight of the main prize. Jiung was not extremely long or girthy, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, as your clammy fingers wrapped around what was undoubtedly the most perfect cock you’ve ever seen. You liked how your small fingers struggled slightly to wrap all the way around, forcing you to use both hands as you guided the swollen tip towards your waiting mouth. Greedy, your tongue peeked out to sneak a taste of his glistening pre-cum.

Giggling, you hummed to yourself in satisfaction before letting a comment slip, “It’s nice…”

Jiung was halfway to losing his mind but couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. You were, after all, his adorable, precious girl. “Well,” He placed an encouraging hand on your cheek, “I’m glad you think so.”

You nodded in agreement, letting your hands wander across his midriff, fingers ghosting over the black butterflies peeking through his thin shirt. He helped you by raising the shirt and capturing the hem between his teeth, skin tingling with excitement as you licked every tattoo on his upper body with your slick, hot tongue.

Once you were satisfied, you finally allowed yourself to indulge in his intoxicating scent. Mirroring your earlier actions, you let Jiung into your welcoming mouth, quickly sucking and swirling your tongue around his length at a steady pace. Instantly, he released the shirt from his lips and let out a long moan.

Hearing his noises only spurred you on further. Determined, one hand reached underneath to massage his balls while the other fisted the rest of his uncovered length, doing everything at once – a three-in-one, if you will, in the hopes of driving Jiung absolutely insane.

“Baby… Fuck, how are you so good at this?” He grunted. “Who taught you to be this good, hmm?”

You tried to answer with an excited “You!” but seemed to have forgotten about the dick in your mouth, making you cough and sputter before swallowing even more of him in. Jiung had to forcefully grip your hair into a ponytail to keep himself in check, fighting the primitive urge to continue choking you with his thick cock.

But why did he want to fight, you wondered? You recovered from the slip up like a champ, quickly relaxing your throat muscles to take in more of his length until both of you groaned at the impact of his tip kissing the back of your throat. You gagged, feeling your pussy leak and clench around nothing.

Jiung wasn’t faring any better as he screwed his eyes shut, groaning deeply. He lost partial control of his lower body as he rutted against that same spot again and again, selfishly hoping that you would gag on his cock over and over. “Ah, your mouth is so perfect for me…”

Your pussy pulsed at the praise, always a sucker for pleasing your boyfriend both in and outside of the bedroom. You wanted him to use you until he was painting ropes of white sticky hot cum on your face, but it seemed like he had other plans, suddenly yanking your face away from his pulsing, red cock.

You just stared at him, mouth agape in shock at the abrupt stop.

The next thing you knew, you were being carried bridal style towards the bedroom. Jiung set you down gently in the middle of the bed, amongst a small army of your favourite plushies. He fluffed the pillows under your head, arranged your body in a comfortable position below him and tucked a lock of hair behind your ears.

“Hey,” He breathed, nose bumping against yours. “Just checking in, how are you feeling?”

At that, you felt hot tears prickle in the corner of your eyes. How did you ever get so lucky to land someone like him? He was always so sweet and caring with you. Overwhelmed, you could only nod, feeling a flurry of emotions bubble up to the surface.

“Hey, hey, baby…” Jiung’s finger captured a stray tear, concerned. “Do you want to keep going? You know we can stop at any time.”

You nodded in affirmation, looking up at him with pleading, sparkling eyes. At that moment, Jiung thought you had never looked so devastatingly beautiful. He swore to himself that he would always be your lover, and your protector.

“I’ll be gentle with you, I promise.”

And you believed Jiung with your whole heart. You closed your eyes and felt him kiss away your tears as his fingers slowly unbuttoned your blouse. Little by little, your stress and worries melted away with the feathery touch of his lips against your exposed skin. He pressed open-mouth kisses trailing from the top of your bra to your navel, swiftly pulling down your slacks, leaving you in your underwear. Somehow, while you were losing yourself to the sensations, Jiung managed to pull your favourite pair of frilly, knee high socks over your legs. Partly because he knew your feet get cold easily, but mostly because he liked how they hugged your thighs.

“My sweet girl…” Jiung pressed a thumb to your white-ribboned panties, feeling a wet spot at your centre. His breath caught in his throat at your leaking arousal.

You could only whine, hips pressing against his palm in search of more friction.

Jiung got the message, undoing your bra then pulling down your panties in quick succession, leaving you bare for him. “So perfect,” he whispered to himself more than anything, blood rushing to his hardened length. His mouth latched onto your left nipple as he rolled the right one between eager fingers.

“Jiung…” You sighed, pleasure coursing through your veins like an electric shock. “Please…”

After a harsh suck, he released your nipple with a loud pop. “Please what, baby?”

“Please, I want you inside…” You whined, greedy for more.

“Baby, I need to prep you first.” He thumbed the entrance of your sweet hole, gathering your slick before swiftly pushing inside.

You huffed, shaking your head. One finger was not enough anymore. “Want you inside now, please!”

Jiung’s cock twitched at your words. “But it’ll hurt –”

“I want it to, please! I just want to feel you deep inside,” You were desperate at this point, begging him to fill you up. “Thought about this all day!”

Jiung cursed under his breath, turned on beyond belief at your eagerness. What his baby wants, his baby gets.

He slowly eased his hard length past the walls of your pussy, the glide aided by a mix of your saliva from earlier and your wet juices. Then, with one quick thrust, he slammed all the way in, the curved tip of his cock kissing your cervix. The two of you moaned out in unison, relieved to finally be back home in each other’s bodies.

“Missed this…” Jiung was struggling to get the words out. It had been too long since you were last intimate and he forgot how tight your little cunt was. “Miss feeling you around me.”

You could only moan pathetically in response, eyes rolled back in pure pleasure. You felt so full of him, and so full of his love for you.

Jiung waited patiently for you to adjust to his size, all while pressing tender kisses along your jaw, and lightly rubbing the cool tip of his nose against your rosy cheeks.

He caged you in with his arms, and rested his warm forehead against yours. You basked in his hot breaths fanning across your flushed cheeks as your pussy clenched and unclenched to adjust to his size. You craned your neck upwards, and Jiung understood you immediately, devouring your lips in a slow and passionate kiss. Your tongues tangled in a fiery dance whilst all your thoughts melted away. Your anxious brain was calm once more, as you surrendered your body and mind entirely to Jiung.

“Ready?” He asked, thumbs rubbing circular patterns against your waist.

You hummed, hips rolling up in search of friction. Jiung got the message, and pulled out gently before thrusting in deep. “God, Y/N… You’re so perfect for me, so good.”

He was making love to you – there was no doubt about it. Anyone could tell, from the way he rocked his hips with conviction, to the way his eyebrows scrunched in concentration, determined to make you feel good. Jiung was a passionate lover. And with each thrust, he replaced the hurt and frustration with love and blissful pleasure.

You were so lost in it; in him, and the way that he made you feel like you were floating on cloud nine. It was just you and him, and nothing else. It was such a relief to be treated like this by someone who loved you as much as Jiung did. Your lips, which were permanently casted into a frown throughout the work day, worked itself into a soft smile. You closed your eyes and just allowed the pleasure to course through your entire body.

Jiung, noticing that you were getting lost in the moment, helped to gather your legs and wrap them around his waist for you. He held them there, enjoying the slight burn as the fabric of your socks rubbed against his back. That way, he could make sure your bodies were impossibly close.

“You okay?” Jiung breathed, nudging your cheeks with his before pressing his lips on your forehead.

You could only moan in response, clenching your walls every single time he thrusted into you. The new angle allowed him to thrust even deeper, and that combined with the way his fingers played with your clit, had you inching closer and closer to your sweet release.

“Jiung – Ah! Close…”

He kept hitting that spot inside of you that made you see stars, while his fingers picked up speed. You could feel yourself tethering at the edge of the precipice. All it took was a –

“I love you, baby, no matter what, I love you more than you know…” Jiung professed his love before pressing his lips to yours for the nth time that night. “Yeah, that’s it. I gotchu, you’re safe with me.” That was more than enough to bring you over the edge.

Your velvety walls clenched around him so tight that he quickly followed, panting heavily as he filled you up to the brim with his cum.

epilogue.

As you basked in the afterglow of your climaxes, you felt Jiung littering kisses all over your face, and giggled.

“How was it?” He asked jokingly.

“Hmm…” You pretended to think about it with your eyes closed, making both of you laugh. “Thank you, really. It was just what I needed.”

“What can I say? I’m the perfect boyfriend.”

“You really are, Choi Jiung. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

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amirasainz · 7 months ago

Note

Could you do an Amira and lance or Pierre story where they take us on vacation and no one knows where we went till we post something and all of them start freaking out and calling Amira

Guess who's back? My request are OPEN. Enjoy reading.

-XoXo

No Part 2!!!

Hiding the princess

"Ohhh, Pierre. It's so beautiful here. Gracias, mi cielo" Amira said to him. While Amira was admiring the breath-taking view from their balcony suite, Pierre was busy starring at his girl. She looked like a goddess, with her hair blowing in the wind and the lights reflecting in her eyes.

He went up behind her, hugging her tightly against his body. He hooked his chin over her shoulder, kissing her temple lovingly. "Only the best for you, ma belle." His whisper made her shiver, making her search more for his body heat.

Their romantic moment got interrupted by one of their phones buzzing. "Don't worry. I got it." he told her before she could move a finger. After kissing her cheek once more, he went inside their suite, finding Amiras phone lighting up from another message. On a closer look, Pierre could see that Carlos had been messaging Amira frantically.

To be honest, Pierre didn't leave Amira any time to inform anyone about their "spontaneous" travel. The past few weeks, the drivers and WAGS had been hogging Amira, leaving them without any time for themselves. So Pierre decided to take her away to Dubai, making her pack her luggage 2 hours before their private flight.

During their whole flight, Pierre was busy feeding Amira cherries while she tried to guess their travel destination. After 3 hours of flying, Pierre made her lie on top of him so she could rest after her exhausting packing. Pierre cherished every moment, making sure she was always in his arms, keeping her warm and safe.

Pierre wished he was able to frame the moment she recognised the beautiful city lights of Dubai. Amira once mentioned that she always wanted to visit the city. She wanted to spend her time in the dessert or in the luxury shopping centers. And who was Pierre to deny her such wish. The perfect opportunity presented after not being able to spend some time alone , just the two of them.

Till the day he died, Pierre would deny that seeing the thousand of messages Carlos send Amira in the past 7 hours made him nervous. For the love of god, he is 27 years old. Such thing like big, older, overprotective brothers didn't make Pierre break out in a sweat anymore. The Frenchman knew that he couldn't just leave the messages unanswered. He opened the Chat between the two Sainz siblings and wrote something along the lines of "Oh, I'm sorry for not answering sooner. I'm just so tired and I will go to sleep now. Bye-Bye <3". Before he could second guess himself. Pierre was brought out from his overthinking.

"Pierre, are you ok?" asked the sweet voice of his beautiful angel. "Of course, ma belle. I was just grabbing you a jacket" he answered. He quickly turned of her phone and grabbed his oversized beige jacket. He immediately wrapped her up, making sure that she was protected from the wind. "Oh, but I'm not even co-." Before she could finish her sentences he kissed her quickly.

Pierre wouldn't let anyone take her attention during their romantic get-away. Thru ought the week, he made sure to keep her busy. Pierre took her shopping, bought her the finest jewelerry. He had a SPA day with her, so she could relax from their hectic shopping day. The rest of the week they either went in the dessert, to the beach or did more shopping. Pierre made sure that they spent every second together. Safe to say that Amira wasn't able to respond to ay of her messages.

@ pierregasly just posted

Liked by charlesleclerc, lilyminuhe, georgerussell and 7 894 519 others

Spending the week with the most beautiful girl in the world @amirasainz <3

Comments:

@carlossainzjr cabron what is this?

@carlossainzjr Pierre Gasly, you better answer me right now

@carlossainzjr When I catch you Gasly, you're dead

@ charlesleclerc What the fuck? I thought we were friends

@ landonorris YOU CAN'T JUST HIDE HER FROM THE REST OF US!!!!!

@ oscarpiastri I will crash into you next race

@ maxverstappen you better hide

@ carmenmundt who do you think you are, hiding my girl from me?!

@ amirasainz <3

@ pierregasly BABY!!!! <3

Bonus(+)

In the tense atmosphere, Carlos muttered to himself, pacing back and forth in front of the other drivers. Three days had passed without any word from precious Amira, and concern had escalated. They hastily convened an impromptu drivers’ meeting, their minds racing with worry. On the whiteboard, various theories about her whereabouts were scribbled.

Just as Lando was about to share another idea, the door swung open. Charles stood there, his chest heaving. Startled, all the drivers rose from their seats. Max managed to ask, “Charles, what—”

Before anyone could respond, Charles turned toward them, tears glistening in his eyes. His voice trembled as he held up his phone, revealing an Instagram post from Pierre. The room erupted into chaos as everyone tried to make sense of the situation

Charles burst into tears, while Max threw some pillows at the wall. George and Alex were busy stalking the post. Oscar tried his best to help Lando regulate his breathing, while trying to keep the anger in himself. The chaos stopped when Carlos walked towards the door, muttering under his breath: "He's dead. He is so dead."

#formula 1 #baby!sainz!sister #amira sainz #pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly #formula 1 x reader #dubai #lando norris x reader #charles leclerc x reader #carlos sainz x sister!reader #george russell x reader #alex albon x reader #oscar piastri x reader #max verstappen x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #dubailife

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lvrsparadise · 1 year ago

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'JEALOUS' - M.S

Synopsis - She's always liked him.

Warnings! - Profanity, kissing, reader being jealous, Matt n reader being cute, fluff

A/N - Okay. I want to kms because I had originally written out something so beautiful for this. And then I accidently deleted something, and I forgot that if I press control z it ERASES THE WHOLE DAMN THING! So, this is a re-write. Enjoy!

Work was so tiring. I got cut from the floor at 7 instead of 9, when I was supposed to get off, because I had no tables. I made barely $40 in tips. And not to mention the weird drunk creep who kept asking my co-workers and I, very uncomfortable questions. I sigh as I clock out of the system and grabbing my stuff before saying bye to my co-workers.

I walk out the back to my car. I open the driver door and throw my stuff in the passenger seat. I just sit there and recollect myself before I put the key in the ignition, turning on the car.

Thee drive back to my house was quiet. I didn't have the radio on, I didn't have the windows down. I wasn't even on the phone with anybody. Today was that stressful.

'I'm going to have to ask my maneger for more hours next shift.'

I pull into my driveway and grab my stuff, turning off the car and walking to my front door. I open it and am immediately bombarded by my puppy, Sam, and my cat Mr. Murray.

I set my stuff down on the couch before walking upstairs to my room. I get undressed and hop in the shower. After my very refreshing shower, I throw on some comfier clothes - a pair of pink and black plaid pajama pants, a white tank top, and one of Matt's hoodies he left over.

I flop on my bed with a sigh. I sit up and open my phone, opening my messages app before clicking on Matt's contact. Matt is my brother's best friend. Well, actually, Chris is my brother's best friend, but I learned that they're a package deal. Get one, get all.

1 ring. 2 rings.

"Hey. Everything alright?"

I breathe out a small sigh of relief at the sound of his voice.

"Hey. Yeah, no everything's fine. I've just had a stressful day and I was wondering if we could go for like a drive or something?"

"Yeah, no that's fine. I'll be over in 10."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Always."

That's the last thing I hear before the line goes dead. Knowing he's going to be here in less than 10 minutes, I slip on my converse and head downstairs.

I love on and play with Sam and Mr. Murray for about 5 or 6 minutes before I hear a car pull in my driveway. I instantly recognize it as Matt's car. I grab my wallet, just in case, my keys, and my phone, placing all of them in the pocket of the hoodie. I hear a knock at my door and Sam barks. I yell out his name to get him to stop barking as I open the door.

There he is. Looking perfect as ever. Even in sweats and a hoodie. He's wearing that damn smile. One I return gratefully.

"You ready?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

I close my door behind me as I walk out, locking it as well before I walk over to the passenger side of the car. I get in and so does Matt. He pulls out of my driveway and starts driving around with no destination.

"How was your day? Why was it stressful?" He turns is head towards me as we're at a red light.

"Well, I got cut from the floor early because we were dead, and I had no tables. I made barely $40 in tips. I also had to work with that one girl I told you about. She made the day ten times worse. And this morning, Sam thought it would be nice to wake me up with a surprise next to my bed." I rest my elbow on the center console, resting my chin on my hand as I look out the window.

"Yikes." I hear him say as the light finally turns green and we start driving again.

"What about you? Anything fun happen?"

"Chris almost like, broke the ceiling in the warehouse."

"How in the hell?"

"I have no idea; I wasn't around when it happened. But Nick was and he kept making jokes about it reminding Chris that he did it. It was hilarious." He chuckles quietly.

"I bet."

"Oh shit."

"Hmm?" I turn my head towards him, his gaze switching between the road and the dashboard behind the steering wheel.

"I'm almost out of gas. I think I have enough to get us to that 7-11." He jerks his chin towards a 7-11 that's not too far. It's dark out, not many cars are on the road, the gas station seems empty.

He pulls into the gas station, pulling up to a gas pump. He turns the car off after rolling down the windows a little bit. He gets out and walks over to the pump, which is next to me because for some reason, the gas tank is on the right side of his car instead of the left. So, as he fills the tank up, he's also leaning on my window, talking to me.

"Did anything interesting happen in your day though?"

"Um, let's see. Oh, there was this older gentleman who tipped me $25 for being the best server he's had. He was celebrating his anniversary, but he said that his wife had passed away a few years ago. So, every year on their anniversary, he goes out and gets himself a meal. It was so sweet, it almost made me cry."

"Wow. That does sound swe-"

He's cut off by a girl walking up to him, looking to be around our ages, maybe a year or so older. She's talking with hi and flirting with him. I feel my blood run cold with jealousy at the realization she's flirting. Matt's hand is like holding onto the window, his hand partially in the car. I take advantage of that and I somewhat intwine our fingers, my own mindlessly playing with his.

Either she can't see me through the somewhat tinted windows, or is openly ignoring my presence, she asks him out to dinner. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes mine back. I hear him say 'Oh, I can't sorry. My girl is in the car' and my heart skips a beat. Multiple beats actually.

He finishes filling most of his tank and pays before walking over to the driver's side as quick as he can speed walk without running. He turns the car on at lightning speed. He starts to drive off to my house.

The drive is silent. Other than the really quiet hum f whatever is on the radio, there is not a peep coming from either of us.

About halfway through the drive back to my house, he reaches his right hand over the center console and grabs my left hand, interlocking our hands before resting them on his thigh. My chest is filled with butterflies. My head is empty. I feel my face heat up as I turn to look out the window next to me.

We pull up to my house. As soon as he puts the car in park, I'm out the car and making a b-line for my front door, unlocking it in record time. I didn't realize Matt was hot on my heels until I turn to close the front door, his hand stopping it. I sigh in defeat knowing I won't win. He pushes the door open and then walks in, closing it behind him.

"Were you jealous?"

"What? I have no Idea what you're talking about Matt." I place my wallet and keys on a table I have next to the door for that reason. Of course, I was jealous, but I would never admit it out loud. Especially to the guy I was getting jealous about.

He shakes his head and crosses his arms "Wrong. Were you jealous?"

I roll my eyes slightly "Matt- I don't get why you're asking me this. It would be the same if it were me-"

"No, it wouldn't."

"Wha-"

"A guy touches you? Jealous. A guy flirts with you? Jealous. Takes you on a date? Kisses you? I'm jealous. I'm jealous as hell. How have you not known? I'm not very secretive about it at all. Now I'm going to ask you one last time. Were you jealous?" His voice, despite being stern and angry, it still is soft and kind.

I sigh in defeat, crossing my own arms, mirroring his pose. "Yeah. I was. I was very jealous."

There is nothing said after that. And there doesn't need to be. Next thing I know, I'm being softly pinned against the wall and Matt's hands are on me. One on my cheek and the other on my waist. I try to look at the hand on my waist but the hand on my face makes me look into his eyes. He doesn't say much, but words aren't necessary right now. He leans in and kisses me.

The kiss is soft, tender, sweet, and everything a hopeless romantic like myself could ever want. I entangle my hands in his hair, closing whatever space was between us.

After what felt like hours, but was really 20 seconds, we pull back for air. Both of us are panting.

"I'm taking you out Friday. 6:00. I pick you up, with flowers, take you to dinner, then I take you to a 7:00 movie, then we walk on the beach before I take you back home and kiss you goodnight. How does that sound?"

Although my eyes are still closed, I hear the smile in his voice, and at his words I can't hold back a smile of my own. I open my eyes and look into his beautiful blue ones that look like they're the ocean. I swear I get lost in them for a few seconds before replying.

"That sounds perfect."

I don't have a taglist for the Sturniolos!

If you want to be in it, all you have to do is ask! <3

I love all of y'all!

#l writes!#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #sturniolo triplets #wow didnt know i had that in me #props to a tiktok lady for giving me the idea #wow im tired

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urfavouritegirlie · 1 year ago

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Classmate

Miles x black fem reader

(Not my image)

Summary - Y/n delivers a textbook to Miles’ house when he forgets it in maths class.

The extra curricular maths class is over. I attended because we have an exam next week. I really don't know why I stayed, I don't think I needed it. It's only a few students that went after school. The teachers words are just gibberish because I'm too tired to listen. The bell rings and everyone immediately starts packing up to leave this place to enjoy their weekend. I'm a bit slow in packing my things making me the last one to leave.

"Oh Y/n!"

I was literally by the doorway when Mrs Williams called me. I put on an award winning fake smile and walk to her desk. She's not buying though.

"You can stop the act."

*Sigh* "Was it that obvious?"

"I'm a black woman too okay. Don't get me started."

We both share a small laugh before she continues talking.

"Mr Morales over here has left his text book. Could you go and give it to him. I'll write his address on this paper. Usually, I wouldn't do this but we have an exam next week and I have a feeling he might need it over the weekend."

She writes it on a piece of paper and hands it to me. I read and it doesn't seem too far. Just in the opposite direction I go. I walk outside and start heading in the direction of the address. I really haven't walked here before but it looks pretty lively. There's a basketball court with guys my age playing, music blasting but in an enjoyable way and everyone talking to each other.

I reach the apartment building. I go to press the buzzer but someone was making their way out and held the door for me. I walk inside and up the stairs. I check the paper again to be sure. Third floor. Ok In that moment I realise how awkward this could be. I mean we barely talk. The only time we do is when we are put in groups to work together. Nothing else.

I knock on the door and wait. I can hear a lady talking. Spanish I think. I couldn't hear another person so she must have been on the phone. The locks on the door unlock and the door opens showing a lady in scrubs and an apron on top. The aroma of well seasoned food graces my nose. But that's not the focus.

She looks at me with an eyebrow raised. I think I should introduce myself before I die of awkwardness. I take a peek at her name tag. Rio Morales

"Umm hi Mrs Morales?"

"That's me."

"I'm Y/n and I'm just here to deliver Miles' maths textbook, he forgot it in class and we have an exam next week. Our teacher thought that he might need it so that he can study over the weekend."

She looks me up and down like the security guard at school. All of a sudden I feel like in hiding illegal substances. Her expression changes to a soft one. She's balancing her phone between her ear and shoulder.

"Oh come in."

"Wait but-"

She continues her conversation on the phone and walks to the kitchen. What now? I look at the time on my phone. Its 4:48 and I really should be home by now. I close the door and I peek into the kitchen to where she is. She finishes her conversation on the phone with a 'girl bye, talk to you later'.

She looks at me and I stand up straight. I've been taught by my dad to make a good impression and to respect elders, only when necessary. "I didn't know Miles a 'girl' friend." She did the two finger gesture at the word 'girl'.

"Well we're just classmates really." I give an awkward laugh to sorts ease the tension inside me. "Umm Mrs Morales I really shou-"

"Would you like something to eat. I cooked a lot so there is plenty"

The food she was cooking smelt so good. I haven't smelt something like this since my mom died. My stomach was begging for it but should I really. She has this smile on her face that is so convincing. Why not.

"Let me call home first."

"Ok"

I call and someone picks up the phone.

"Y/n where are you? You should have been home by now. You have me worried sick."

"Yeah, sorry Jay. I had to deliver something to a classmate. His mother offered for me stay for dinner. If that's cool with you."

"A friend? Oh how nice. Sure you can stay over. Don't stay too long though. Ok bye now"

I thought she would be my saving grace but no. Jadyn is my neighbour and is looking after me whilst my dad is out on deployment. She's always telling me that I need to make friends. I do have friends, in LA.

I cut the phone and look at Mrs Morales who has a waiting look on her face. "I can stay over."

"That's good. My husband should be back in a minute and Miles..... where's Miles?"

I take my jacket off and hook it by the door and place my bag in a corner. I take off my shoes and place them to where other shoes are.

"Well since I'm here I can help you. If you don't mind."

"Oh sure. You can set the table for me."

She hands me plates, cutlery and mats. I place them nicely with the fork on the left and the knife on the right. I place the extra mats in the middle for the food. The door opens and this big guy in a cop uniform walks in. I freeze in my spot.

"Hey Jeff, welcome home." Rio goes and hugs him and kiss his cheek. I look away though.

"Hi. Who's this?" He asks looking at me through those dark glasses. I can feel the intense look.

"This is Y/n. Miles friend at school."

Again with the 'friend'. I barely know the boy. We've only had a few interactions at school.

"Nice to meet you Mr Mora-" I had put my hand out to shake his.

"What brings you here." He takes his jacket and hat off to hang it.

Well, that hurt.

"I was just delivering Miles' maths textbook. He had forgotten it in class so I was leaving it here for him because we have an exam next week."

"Oh ok. What do your grades look like?"

"Jeff stop."

"What? I'm just making sure she ain't a bad influence on Miles. Speaking of you don't happen to be keeping Miles later than usual?"

"N-no sir. I'm a straight A student at school."

Now he was inspecting me from head to toe. I know the feeling. My dad did that if he thought I was doing something suspicious or making sure my room was clean. I get put on the spot, especially by people of authority.

"What do your parents do?"

Oh damn. Here we go. I always hate this part. When I tell them they have a look of pity and I don't like it. They start treating me like I'm fragile.

"Umm my mom died when I was a kid." I look down so I don't have to see their faces morph into sorrow. I finally look up and of course they look sorry for me. I give a small smile. "That was many years ago, it doesn't bother me too much." I try to brush it off.

"Oh gosh. I'm so sorry."

"My dad on the other hand is a staff sergeant in the army."

Both their eyes widen. Mrs Morales in amazements and Mr Morales in an "oh crap" kinda look. That the look I always get after telling people my dad is in the army and his rank shocks them. I bet he feels bad for assuming I was a bad kid and intimidating me. At that same time the door opens again revealing Miles.

"Sorry I'm late. I was at the library studying for next weeks maths exam."

We all look at him. This guy is in so much trouble. He looks back and notices me. Lord help this boy.

"Oh Y/n, what are you doing here?" he asks confused.

"Oh you where at the library. Wow Jeff we have a smart and dedicated son right." Rio cheerfully says.

"Oh yeah, I'm very proud. So what topic where you studying?"

"Umm you know algebra, trigonometry and stuff."

"Oh what were you using?"

"My maths textbook."

Lord send an angel to take me now. The sarcasm is so present in the room. How can he not detect it? But at the same time I wanna watch. Both Mr and Mrs Morales give each other an unimpressed look. It's about to go down (insert Kevin Hart voice).

"Ok Mr 'I was at the library' answer this question. How can you study when your maths book is on the table?" His mom asks.

He glances at the table behind me and sees his textbook laying there.

"Y/n here has kindly come to drop your book here since you left it at school. Isn't that so nice of her hmm?" The tone in her voice is so unsettling. I would melt if I was Miles. Caught in a lie. Miles then looks at me. I feel guilty for bringing his book. Wait that ain't right, it's not my fault for the kind gesture.

"Anyway, dinners ready. We'll talk about this later. Y/n is staying over for dinner. She set the table so nicely."

His mom goes back into the kitchen to dish the food. His dad goes to sit at the table and Miles lays his stuff on the sofa in defeat and sits next to his dad. I shuffle to the kitchen to continue helping.

Now we are all seated at the table. His dad at the head of the table, his mom next to him, Miles opposite her and me next to her. But other than that, food looks great. I sit with my hands to my side. I don't want to make the first move.

"Let's say grace shall we."

They each other’s hands. I follow the same suit. I do this with my dad when he's home. His mom starts to pray.

"Lord may you bless this food we are about to eat, bless the people in this house.... even if they attempt to lie. Amen."

Talk about shade. I'm sure the heavens felt that. Now we are eating in silence. It's fine because the food is so delicious.

"So y/n, you said your dad is a staff sergeant. How long has he been in the army?"

I swallow my food and answer the question. "He's been in the army for 22 years now. He's 45 now so he was 23 when he joined."

We eventually finish eating. The conversations flow nicely without any awkwardness. However Miles hasn't said a thing. Kinda forgot he was here.

"Miles clear the plates." Without a word he hurry's to do the dishes. While his mom and dad are talking about their day at work I go to the kitchen to help him out. I grab a dish towel that's on the counter and start drying the dishes.

"Sorry if I got you in trouble."

"It's not your fault, it was for a good reason. I shouldn't have lied in the first place."

"Call me a detective or something but I think you had paint on your face. I don't think your parents noticed."

He pauses and looks at me. He clears his throat and discreetly says "Spray painting."

"Oh word?"

He nods his head and continues with the plates.

"Anyway thanks for bringing my book."

"Don't thank me, it was Mrs Williams' idea. I was just about to head home when she stopped me. Then your mom asked me to stay for dinner. Btw your parents are so intimidating but nice at the same time."

He laughs. He has a cute laugh.

"I think a dad in the army is more intimidating if I say so. I think you had my dad a bit shook. What does your mom do?"

"Uh my mom was a nurse."

"Was?"

"She died when I was a child, too young to remember."

"Oh I'm sorry about that."

"It's ok. Anyway, we've finished now. I have to get going home. It's dark now."

"Thanks for helping out. See you at school then."

"Yeah."

We bothwalk to the dinning area. This grabs his parents attention. "Uh I have to get going now. Thanks for the meal Mrs Morales, it was really nice."

"Oh darling, it's fine. Hope to see you again. But it's dark now, I'm sure Jeff can give you a ride."

He happily agrees and gets up to put his jacket on. I put my shoes and jacket on and pick up my bag. I say goodbye to Mis and his mom. I can see Miles say something behind his mom without her noticing. He said 'pray for me'. Oh yeah he's still in trouble. I close the door and walk downstairs with his dad.

I give him the address and it's a silent ride. I'm not complaining though. I open the door and Jadyn is already by the door.

"Y/n it's dark out and....... what have you done?"

She notices the cop behind me.

"Oh this is Miles' dad, he gave me a ride home. You know, my 'friend'.

"Oh well thank you Mr Morales for bringing her home, hope she wasn't any trouble."

"Not at all. It's my son that's in trouble. It was nice to have you y/n."

With that he leaves.

"Miles huh? Sounds like a boy name." She's smirking at me.

"No" I leave for my room before she can say anything else. I jump on bed thinking about today. Today was ok. That interacting with Miles was fun. I'm glad I stayed after all.

#into the spider verse #miles morales #spider verse #miles morales x reader #spiderman

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felikatze · 1 month ago

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Rambling about IDW Amy because i love her

(i've currently only read to #56 so this post only covers up to there)

actually i'm still thinking abt amy. i really love how amy has this like, very quiet character arc in idw? she's introduced fighting alongside sonic and she has FUN and it's a blast and an escape for her and she sighs going back to the resistance. and it gets even WORSE when knuckles ditches to go back to angel island and amy is just The Leader Now.

what makes it great is that amy is a pretty compassionate character to begin with. she wants to help people!! both because she admires sonic being a hero i think but also because she just likes doing it. but her help for others tends to be on the more personable level rather than grand saving the world business. like how often is amy just a core supporting character (this is not an insult) and helps prop people up to do the hero-ing instead. like big examples of her being personable and compassionate in games being the SA games with gamma and how she was the one who got shadow to turn around, or her supporting role for silver in 06.

and like, again, her help is on a personal level. and she wants to help everyone, she really does. because now, with the restoration, she is Responsible for everyone. she doesn't just want to make people happy, she has to. as again, contrasted by knuckles being the lone hero type - the status quo is restored, so he's done, bye, while amy tries to get the people back to actually happily living their lives and moving on from trauma and whatnot, instead of just removing The Big Threat.

and she's the only one of the core cast who's gonna do that. who's gonna see beyond the big hero shtick. but it is simply Too Much <3 it is too much. she's constantly tired and exhausted. it's ACTIVIST BURNOUT BABEYYYYY

in making herself responsible for Everyone, she stops being able to help people on the personal level she's used to. and she CONSTANTLY grumbles about her job, about how she hates large scale organizing and logistics and all this dumb shit that actually goes into running a huge organization.

notable here how when she's w the restoration, she Immediately perks up when Sonic & co. show up, and ya ya, her crush on Sonic, but also because like, again, back to her introduction! The hero stuff becomes going back to her roots, making a big tangible difference, getting out of the minutae - it's an escape. yknow, that's what sonic stands for, and all. freedom. being w sonic and the gang, even outside her persistent infatuation (which she even tamps down to get to business!), sonic is freedom, to her.

and it all comes to a head w the zombot arc, obviously, because if running a rebuilding squad was tough, running a zombie apocalypse shelter is worse, just constant setbacks and losses and stress and Everything Sucks So Bad For Everyone.

there's not really a great big moment of realization for amy to step down, it's just that Tangle goes, hey, i got this friend who likes bureocracy, and amy JUMPS at the opportunity.

and after that, amy starts joining main storylines more often (e.g. chao races!! hanging out w cream and rouge!) and she's having more fun and obviously way less Fucking Stressed all the time.

thinking abt the camping arc or whatever it's called (i will never remember names of arcs) where amy takes the girls on a roadtrip. belle is experiencing major daddy issues, tangle is dealing with a breakup (kinda), and jewel is unsure of herself, and amy forces all of them to take a break. she's paying it forward!

and you see her in that arc slot right on back into that supporting role she's so much more comfortable in, in how she supports and encourages jewel to develop the leadership abilities amy knows she has, and this does actually help jewel step up to bat and solve the crisis.

amy's learned that she can't be responsible for everyone, or she's just gonna run herself into the ground without helping anyone, and her solution for that is to limit her scope. she focuses on her friends, on the people in her immediate surroundings, the people she knows and connects with. what she's good at.

which is!! such a good direction to take her character!! man!! i know ppl r complaining abt amy's crush on sonic being toned down in recent games (generations remaster WHAT are you doing) and i think the idw comics did a FANTASTIC job expanding her character beyond her crush (while still keeping it, even), by extrapolating the emotional impact of how she fares from her role in forces!! (considering how weak forces' writing is, isn't that Fucking Incredible.)

anyways, this is probably my favorite take on Amy <3 go girl set limits to your compassion because bleeding hearts can only bleed out <3 also again like fun Recontextualization what the crush on sonic means for her like, symbolically. it's good.

#feli speaks #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #idw sonic #soooo many character takes in idw that i love #i think like my favs for sure for the og sonic crew are amy sonic eggman and metal

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chriscoquette · 5 months ago

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Blaine Bushong x!Fem reader

Fluff!

Summary : you were a camper at a church he worked at as a camp counselour, it was 3am and you couldn't sleep, so you went over to his cabin

W: kissing! Pet names (baby, sweet heart)

(It might be bad bc this is my first ever story! )

Y/n couldn't sleep, it was 3 am thunder was rolling, rain was pouring, it was keeping y/n up, she looked around every other girl camper was asleep

"dude, be for real" she said quietly careful not to wake anyone up, then the image of Blaine popped into her mind

"Maybe Blaine can help" Y/n said, she got up from her cot, stepping carefully so she wouldnt wake anyone up

She walked outside, and she got to Blaine's cabin, she saw Blaine outside scrolling on his phone

"Hey sweetheart" Blaine said with a tired demeanor he gave her a soft smile, his braces glistening in the moon shine

"Hey, I'm struggling to sleep" Y/n said sitting down next to Blaine

"Oh, me to, maybe we could go back into my cabin and watch a movie?" Blaine says looking at y/n

"We can if you want" y/n said while Blaine got up and took her hand, Blaine stared at her lips, struggling to keep himself from kissing her

"Y/n, I have a co-" he was cut off my y/n's lips latching onto his, he felt like this was a dream

Blaine pulled away "Y/n I-I-uh, you like me?" Blaine nervously chuckles rubbing the back of his neck

"Yeah, I do, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner" Y/n says looking down, then Blaine tilted her head up with his thumb

"So, is it official?" Blaine says smiling, his lanyard glistened in the moon light

"I guess so" y/n smiles as they go into his cabin, they get comfy, and turn on a movie

"Love you baby" y/n says smiling "love you to sweetheart" Blaine says, and a few minutes later they fall asleep

Sorry if it was short guys! I'm kinda busy so I was rushing, I'm also sorry if it doesn't make sense it's my first story, I might make a part 2! And I'm still taking requests! Bye my loves! -from your friend annica

#birlap smut #sturniolo smut #sam golbach smut #colby brock #colby x reader

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riansdiary · 6 months ago

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Taking a Break for myself...

Dearest Gentle Readers 💎

Hello everyone! It's Rian. I have decided to take a break from writing here on Tumblr unless I'm called to because it has taken a toll on your girl. No worries! I will check in and will answer any and all of your questions except ones I'm not comfortable answering but nevertheless, if you need help I'll be here!

I was doing so amazing. I'm keeping my thoughts in check and knowing it's done. Since being back, I've been reading too much again especially posts that make manifesting a process and those that don't sit right with me. The reason I quit Tumblr before is because of the same reason.

I was reading so much even those that don't resonate with me. I also over consumed again and when I was reading for fun recently, there are some posts that didn't sit right with me and made me feel like manifesting is a process when it's not.

I respect any and all of your techniques and opinions, whatever works or feels right for you but I accidentally read some while I was bored and it made manifesting a process for me when all I ever had to do was accept it's mine and it's already done so I'm limiting my time on Tumblr because of that.

I already know what works for me and I was having a struggle because of how simple it is. I guess this is why we over complicate it a lot. It's literally as simple as accepting your desires, knowing it's done and leaving the 3d alone. Not paying attention to what you don't like in your reality.

I will focus more on healing. I've been tiring myself up taking too much on my plate. I'm writing here, I also make subliminals, I'm a co-admin of a Gossip Girl Rp group as well. I just need time to focus on not manifesting but fully accepting that I have my dream life. It's time for me to focus on letting myself accept that. That's all I need to do anyway.

If my posts resonate with you, I highly recommend reading @babygothprincess and @etherealkissed88 posts because I'm learning everything from them!

That's all for now and I'll be here soon with more success stories to come! Bye for now! I'm not really gonna be gone though, just focusing on myself and staying away from Tumblr posts because I already know what to do. I will answer your question still as I said!

#law of assumption #manifesting #manifestation #lawofassumption #loassumption #how to manifest #bridgerton #subliminals #taking a break

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deke-rivers-1957 · 1 year ago

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Danny's Journey to a Better Life

It's my first day of therapy and I ain't got a clue on how to handle myself. I can't even give a proper greeting. I just walk in the door moping.

"What happened Danny?"

"Ain't you heard? I was in love with a beautiful girl named Ronnie but she got killed."

"Is that what brought you to therapy today?"

"Ain't that enough?"

"So let's break this down into a simple question. Danny why did you decide to come to therapy today?"

"Cos I been havin' a lotta nightmares lately."

"And what do you wish to accomplish today?"

"I wanna find out why them nightmares keep comin' back at me."

I spend the next half hour info-dumping. I dunno if I'm even doing this right but I just need to get it outta my system.

"Based on what you've told me, I have reason to believe that you have a lot of unprocessed trauma. That doesn't make you crazy, but it can have long term health effects if it continues to go unaddressed."

"Then once these things are processed, they'll go away? No more nightmares?"

"I can't guarantee that your nightmares will go away. I would hope that with therapy, you can learn how to better understand your feelings and move on."

"Will it stop me from being tired so much?"

"I suggest that you first rule out physical conditions that can cause sleeping issues."

"It feels like I'm gonna see something, Doc. Like there's something in the dark watching me."

A timer goes off

"Is that session over? I ain't done talkin'. I ain't done."

"I know, Danny. We had a very productive first session. I have an assignment that I want you to do before you decide to schedule our next session."

"What's that?"

"I want you to go to the doctor and ask for them to test you for any physical conditions that can trigger sleep disorders."

"Alright, Doc, I'll take care of it."

"That's great to hear Danny. I'm glad that you're willing to cooperate."

"I'll see you soon, Doc."

I leave the room and go to the front desk to talk to the receptionist. I wanna find a way to pay for this first session without going broke.

"Excuse me, miss, how much does Doctor King charge for therapy?"

"I have a form that you can fill out."

"Great. I'll take care of it right now. Thanks."

I look at the form. There’s no way I can pay $25 at a time, so I put 12 dollars a month. I figure it’s better than nothin’.

"Thanks. Do I owe you anything from my first session here?"

"Doctor King always provides his first consultation for free. If you decide to return as a full time client, then you will be expected to pay."

"I'll get here as soon as I can. Bye, miss."

I go home to my Pa and tell him about my consultation.

"Pa, I went to see that Doc like you wanted."

"How'd it go Danny? Do you think you'll go back?"

"Yeah, I’ll do that Pa, but I just need to know how we’re gonna pay for therapy. I can’t work no more because of my nightmares and I can’t sleep. I’M TIRED, Pa!"

He goes over to hug me.

"I know you are son. The first session was free so don’t worry about it. We’ll manage."

"Pa, I- I hope to hell that sleep test comes back with somethin’, y'know? I'm afraid it ain’t gonna and I got no money and I’m a burden."

"I’ll give them a call now and see what’s available."

"Pa, I don’t know what to do. I feel like the world’s crushin’ down on my shoulders. I feel like I'm fallin’ apart."

"You’re still young Danny. Ain’t even 21 yet. I think you need to let me be the father and do my responsibilities."

"And what are your responsibilities, Pa? Just puttin’ dinner on the table and roof over our head? You think that's all you need to do as a father? 'Cause you ain't. I got no momma and since I was 8 I been fightin' like hell against this world to put food on our plate. I'm tired."

"I know. And I’m sorry I ain’t done a good enough job for you. I’m going to be better Danny."

"When you got no momma you got no one to hold you, no one to sing you to sleep, to kiss your forehead when you fall asleep. That's what Momma used to do, y'know, every night. And when I'd wake from nightmares, she'd be there tellin' me everything's gonna be alright. I don't have that, never did. So I learned how to be tough, y'know? You ain't supposed to cry, you gotta be strong."

"You didn’t need to do that Danny. Now you just let me be your Pa and help."

He sits me down on the couch and I start bawlin'.

"Shhh. It’s alright son."

"I'm not as tough as I make out, Pa. I ain't. I'm so tired."

"Go on and nap Danny."

I lay down on the couch. As I fall asleep, I feel my Pa's hand on my forehead. It felt like it was the most comforting touch I'd had in ages.

"Do you want me to call Nellie over?"

"It'd be nice to see her."

"Alright Danny."

"I love you, Pa."

As Pa talks with Nellie, I drift into a peaceful sleep. Before I know it, I hear Pa waking me up.

"Son? Nellie’s here."

I wake up, completely refreshed. Nellie’s there and she’s lookin’ pretty as a picture. She leans over and gives me a peck on the cheek.

"Are you ok Danny? Mr. Fisher called me over."

Yeah, I’m good, I just fell asleep is all.

Nellie sits next to me and I notice how good-lookin’ she is. I feel that old stirring I felt the first time I saw her. I feel it all over again. My heart beats a little faster every second she’s here. And when she leans in and gives me a peck on the cheek...

"How was your nap?"

"I’m good."

She lays her head on my shoulder and my arm goes around her, but I’m not sure if it’s appropriate. I look over at my Pa. He smiles, then nods. It confirms to me that it’s okay. I continue to lean into her. I even close my eyes and take a deep breath. She smells real nice.

"Mr. Fisher told me that you went to a consultation with a therapist today."

"Yeah, I went seein’ that Doc that he always goes to. Doc says I need to get some tests cause he thinks I got sleep problems. Ain't no doubt about that, I sure ain't sleeping good."

"I hope it’ll get better Danny."

I’m still feeling the after effects of that good nap I took. I’m real relaxed.

"I’ma get this test done as quick as I can, then I'm takin' you out, Nellie."

"Oh you don’t need to do that."

"I wanna. I already promised you dinner, I ain't going back on my word. Let's go to that King Creole joint. Sound okay?"

"Maybe you can get your job back there."

"You really think so?"

I’m already dreamin’ up all the good food I’m gonna get to eat if I get my job back. I look over at Nellie, who’s starin’ at me with a little grin on her face.

"He was already so understanding that you needed to quit after Ronnie died."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I could go check to see if they'll take me back."

Pa finishes making dinner and we start sittin' down to eat.

"Here, sit at the table, Nellie. And, Pa, thanks. You went and made my favorites I love you for that, ain’t nobody made gumbo like you."

Time passes and you get your appointment for the doctor to test you for sleeping disorders

"Pa, I'm heading into the doctor's, can you come with me? I figured it'd be best since I haven't been sleeping so good lately. And I'm a little scared bout what they might tell me."

"I gotta work at the pharmacy today. I’ll pick you up during my lunch."

"Alright, Pa. I'm sure I'll be alright, just wanted you with me."

I head into the doctor's office feeling anxious. A nurse comes in to draw my blood

"Have you had a blood test before, Mr. Fisher?"

"No ma'am, I never had anythin' like that done before."

"Can you make a fist so I can try to find a vein?"

"There. Hope it helps."

She finds my vein and starts drawin' my blood. It's makin’ me real anxious; I start to sweat and feel nauseous. My stomach's startin’ to knot up.

"Would you prefer to use a butterfly needle?"

"Ma'am, I don't know what that is. I'd just like this over and done with as soon as possible, please."

"Very well then Mr. Fisher. Just look up and away."

"Okay..."

I look away and try to relax, but my stomach starts knotting up more. I close my eyes for a moment and start to panic. Is this normal? Am I the only one afraid of this stuff?

"Keep your arm relaxed and tense up the other parts of your body."

"How much longer till we’re done, ma’am?"

I grip my arm with my other hand and start to hyperventilate. I look down at the vial and realize it’s only half full. My heart starts beating real fast.

"Don't look at the vial, Mr. Fisher. You're doing a good job."

"It feels like I can't get enough air in. I'm scared..."

"When I switch the vials lean back in the chair."

I lean back, close my eyes and do my best to relax my arm. I feel the other needle enter my vein to take the second vial.

"How do you feel, Mr. Fisher?"

"Like I'm gonna throw up. My heart’s beatin’ out of my chest. Is this normal?"

"Anxiety during a blood test is common."

The nurse finishes taking my blood then starts bandaging me. I let out a heavy sigh and look out the window feeling a little light-headed.

"Have you eaten or drank anything before coming here, Mr. Fisher?"

"No ma’am."

"Would like some water and a small snack?"

"Yes, ma’am, that’d be real nice."

"Do you feel lightheaded or dizzy?"

I sip some water and nibble on a small snack.

"Yes ma’am I still feel a bit light-headed from the blood test."

My Pa arrives and looks at me with concerned eyes. The nurse explains what had happened and how I need to take it easy and eat iron-rich foods. My Pa nods his head and takes my arm, putting it around him.

"Alright Danny. Let's take it slow."

Holding onto my Pa's arm, we take it slow and make our way outside to the car. He opens the door for me and I sit down in the passenger seat. As we’re driving home, I can’t help but feel light-headed and nauseous and a bit embarrassed for havin' acted so scared earlier.

"Pa, I'm so sorry I acted like such a wimp when I got blood taken. I don't know what's wrong with me, I never used to be like this."

"You ain't gotta apologize son. You did a good job."

We arrive home and I slowly walk up the steps to the front door of our house. Pa helps me get inside and I sit down on the couch. I know I need to go get some rest, so I lay down on the couch slowly and close my eyes.

"Danny do you think you can handle being on your own until I finish my shift at the pharmacy?"

"I should be alright, Pa. Just a little tired that’s all."

"Alright son. Do you need anything to eat before I leave again?"

"I think I can wait til dinner, Pa."

I lie back on the couch and close my eyes. I need to get some much needed sleep.

"My son."

A couple days pass when I get a call from the doctor about my blood test results. I wake up feeling groggy and slowly pickup the phone.

"Yes, this is Danny. Who's this?"

"My name is Dr. Jones. I have the results of your blood test. Do you have any time today to come in?"

I sit up in bed. My heart starts racing.

"I can be there in an hour, if that's alright."

"That's perfectly fine, Mr. Fisher."

I hang up the phone feeling a bit anxious. What could it be? Did they find somethin’ that's gonna be bad for me?

"Pa, I'm goin' to the doctor's office."

"Alright son."

I arrive at Dr. Jones' office. He has a packet of my results.

"Have a seat."

I grab the packet and sit down, trying to focus on listenin’ to whatever the doctor has to tell me.

"I want you to read through the entire packet first. If you have any questions please ask."

"Okay, I will."

I start reading through the packet. After about a minute, I look up at the doctor. I almost don't wanna ask what I'm about to ask.

"Do you need me to explain anything?"

"Yeah... what does the word anemia mean?"

"Anemia is not having enough red blood cells or hemoglobin in the blood. This can be caused by different deficiencies."

I look back down at the packet and continue reading to myself, thinking about all the things Dr. Jones had mentioned. I finally look back up at the doctor, ready to ask another question.

"Is there anything else you had concerns about?"

"Yeah, one last thing. I see an "Abnormal, low" result under my vitamin D. Do you know what that means too?"

"It indicates a deficiency. Usually it's caused by a low exposure to sunlight although there are other factors that contribute to it."

"Is there anythin’ I can do to raise my vitamin D levels?"

"There's something that I would like to do first. Would you mind getting weighed today, Mr. Fisher? Your current weight would give me a better idea as to how we can treat your deficiencies."

"Okay, let's get weighed."

I step onto the scale and let the doctor measure my height and weight. I'm not sure which one weighs heavier - the numbers on the scale or my worries about what this all means.

"What's his weight, nurse?"

The nurse looks at the display.

"One hundred and forty-six pounds."

"Thank you, you can step down, Mr. Fisher."

"Sure thing, Doc."

I step off the scale and sit back down in the chair, lookin' at the doctor and wonderin' what he's gonna say next.

"Mr. Fisher what would you say is a healthy weight for someone like you based on your height, age and activity levels?"

"I have no idea, Doc."

"The average weight for a man of your height is 167 lbs. I believe that because you're underweight, you have these deficiencies."

"So my weight is why I'm not gettin' enough iron and vitamin D?"

"The types of foods you eat and your weight contribute to it."

"Do you know if my lack of sleep contributes to that too? Cause I ain't been sleepin’ too good lately."

"If anything your anemia contributes to your sleep deprivation. An iron deficiency can disturb your sleep patterns by causing insomnia."

"So it all kinda ties in together?"

"I do think your nightmares affect your sleep. However, I believe your slight malnourishment is the root cause."

It’s been a while since I've felt this drowsy during the day, just tired and not havin' the energy to do much of anything. It's kinda got me worried.

"Doc, tell me the truth. Is this somethin’ that's gonna keep me from bein' able to do my job? I can't exactly stay on my feet and sing and play guitar if I keep feelin’ this tired."

"If this continues to go untreated yes. You have multiple physical factors that contribute to your fatigue. I suggest keeping a food journal for one week so we can determine just how much and often you eat."

I look startled.

"You want me to keep a journal of what I eat, Doc?"

"Yes. It's important to know what your current diet is so that I can properly determine your weight gain plan."

I still don't quite understand.

"You mean by puttin' on weight, it'll help my body absorb the iron and vitamin D easier?"

"Yes because we get those nutrients through the foods we eat and through the sun. If you're underweight, it can make it difficult to absorb vitamin D since it needs fat."

I sigh with relief.

"Doc, you don’t know how happy you've made me to hear that. Thanks so much. Now the food journal, you want me to write everything I eat for a week? Even snacks?"

"That's right Mr. Fisher. You need to be eating a certain amount of calories every day to function. If you eat less than what you spend you're going to lose weight which in your case is dangerous."

"All right, Doc. I'll definitely do that. Can I go home now?"

I look at the time on my watch and realize that I'm starting to get hungry. And if the Doc wants me to gain some weight it sure wouldn't hurt. But most of all I wanna get outta here. I'm really hungry.

"Of course Mr. Fisher. Now be sure to write down what you eat as specifically as you can."

"Will do Doc!"

I start to put on my jacket and get up from the chair.

"Thanks for helpin’ me get stuff figured out today, you've made me feel a little better."

Dr. Jones writes notes down in his patient log.

"Should I schedule you for next week at this same time Mr. Fisher?"

"Yeah Doc. I think another week'll give me enough time to get a log of what I'm eatin’, but let's do same time next week."

The following week has arrived and it’s time for my appointment again with Doctor Jones. I start to feel anxious about the blood work, hoping that there’s nothing too serious goin' on inside my body. I can feel my heart start to pound and the butterflies in my stomach return. I tell myself, “It’s okay, you're not scared this time.” But it’s not quite workin’, my nerves still feel frayed. I try to get my breathing and heart rate a bit back to normal - deep, slow breaths. Finally the nurse calls me back.

"How has the food journal worked Mr. Fisher?"

I hand him a sheet with all the food entries from the past week.

"I think this oughta do it, Doc. It's got everything on it, everything I've eaten - even those midnight snacks."

I wait for the Doc to finish reading and do my best to control my breathing. I hear him turn a a page in my patient log, he’s doing a bunch of calculations and stuff but I’m not following what he’s doin'.

"Mr. Fisher can you try to describe how big "a bowl of gumbo" is?"

I think for a moment.

"Well Doc, it's hard to explain how big a bowl of gumbo is, I usually eat two bowls, one for lunch and one for dinner since it's pretty darn good. It's kinda like a stew with meat and okra in it, I'd say it's maybe four or five cups big."

Dr. Jones nods and writes down my response. I keep watchin' as he's workin'. The clock is tickin' away the minutes and I'm gettin' anxious to get outta here.

"So Doc, what's the answer?"

He shows me the paper with his math. I try understanding what the math says. My eyes are dartin’ back and forth from the paper to the Doc.

"I... I don't understand what that means Doc."

I look at the paper again and try to make it make sense but the numbers are all mixed up in my head. I look back at the Doc in confusion.

"That's your estimated daily average calorie intake. Unless there was a mistake in determining portion sizes that's how much you eat per day."

I feel stunned by the result. I thought I was eating enough, even too much... guess that wasn't the case.

"So... what does that mean Doc? Am I not eatin' enough?"

"How much activity do you get on average?"

I look at the Doc.

"My job requires a lot of physical activity - standin’ up, singin' and playin' guitar. Sometimes I'm on stage all night. I guess you'd say that's a good amount of activity Doc."

"I see. I understand now why you're so fatigued Mr. Fisher."

"So the fatigue is caused by not eatin' enough? I thought it was from sleepin’ so bad."

"It's a combination of issues Mr. Fisher. This most I can help you with is to gain weight properly."

I look down, a bit defeated. That means there's not much else he can do to help with the other reasons for why I feel so tired.

"Can you tell me how much I should be eatin' Doc?"

"Have you and your father been able to afford food?"

I look at him. The word "afford" triggers the thought that we've been struggling financially. I just nod my head and let out a deep sigh.

"It ain't easy Doc, it's been... hard."

I try to hold back my emotions.

"I see. Do you know how much your father can afford to spend on food?"

I think back to last night's dinner when all we ate was some fried bologna sandwiches and some leftover mashed potatoes that my sister Mimi reheated.

"Um... Doc I don't think I'm eatin' as much as I used to. And it's only because the money's tight. We can't always afford to eat a good meal. Sometimes that means goin' to sleep with the stomach grumblein'."

"If you continue to lose weight by working and eating as you do, it would be dangerous. The body needs a specific amount of calories to function properly. And you're just not getting enough."

"That... that's scary Doc."

I feel the fear rising inside me but I try to keep my composure.

"You mean I need to gain... uh... a lot of weight?"

"I think if you gained 15 lbs you would feel significantly better."

"Fifteen pounds? That's a lot Doc. I don't know how I'm gonna do that, food's pretty expensive."

"I recommend making high caloric foods that you can make in bulk. The gumbo you listed in your food journal is a good example."

I try processing what the doctor said and how I can possibly gain fifteen pounds.

"I'll do my best Doc. You gotta trust I'm gonna try."

"I know Mr. Fisher. I have a list of foods I recommend to people who need to gain weight."

I take the list from him and nod my head.

"Can I get going Doc? I'll definitely try my best to follow this list."

"Of course Mr. Fisher. I'll see you next week."

Time passes. The following week has arrived. I make sure to bring the food journal to the appointment. I hand it to Doctor Jones.

"Here's my food journal Doc, I tried to follow what you told me last time. There was some days the meals were a bit smaller than before, but I wrote it all down Doc, for real."

He goes over your food journal and does the calorie math again. After a few minutes Dr. Jones writes down a final number.

"This is your average daily calorie intake this week, Mr. Fisher."

I look at the paper and see that the number is 1610.

"Doc, is that a good thing? I just... I'm tryin' so hard to do what you say and eat better, but food is still such a big issue in our house. I don't wanna disappoint you Doc, I've been tryin' my best."

"Any increase in calorie intake is good in your case. It's important to do this gradually so your body can acclimate."

I feel relief spread through my body as I hear this.

"So you're sayin' that I'm doin' okay? That I can keep goin' and work my way up?"

"I suggest continuing what you did last week for a month. Just maintain a daily 1600 calorie average for a month and see how you feel."

"Oh. I thought we said that if I gained fifteen pounds that it would help. I remember Doc, we had that conversation."

I look at the doctor with the slightest bit of confusion.

"Yes but you need to eat more calories than you spend to gain weight. You're not at that point yet Mr. Fisher. To gain weight, you would likely need to eat at least 3000 calories a day."

Confused by his reasoning, I start to get frustrated and my emotions overflow.

"But Doc, that's the whole problem. I can't eat no more. The money is just too tight to get more food. I'm tryin' to get enough, how can I eat more when I can't get the food in the first place? I'm workin' and eatin' as much as I can and it just ain't happenin'."

Dr. Jones removes his glasses and rubs his eyes.

"I understand you're unable to cut down your activity because you need the work. I suggest talking to your employer about allowing you to have meals after shows as part of your compensation."

"You think... you think that'd work Doc, that my boss would give me food at the King Creole?"

Throughout my life I've never asked for something so big like this, but my mind is filled with hope. As the tears well up in my eyes and stream down my cheeks I start to feel embarrassed and ashamed that I have to do this.

"It's worth a shot. At the very least I suggest changing when you eat your meals. For example, I would eat your largest meal possible after you perform right before bed."

"If I can get free meals after the show that would be huge Doc. I'd do that, I'd eat as much as I can after the show before comin' home to sleep."

I feel relief starting to overcome the fear that's been in my life for so long. There's a glimmer of hope that things will get better. I stand up and wipe the tears from my face.

"Anything else I should bring to you next appointment Doc?"

"Just focus on eating 1600 calories a day for one month and continue with your food journal. If you can get free meals at your job, you might be able to save some money for when it's time to increase your calorie count to 2000 a day."

A smile spreads across my face.

I'm gonna do all this Doc, I swear... I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna eat right and I'll increase the calories when it's time. This is gonna change everything, I appreciate your help Doc, more than you know.

I extend my hand to shake his and he smiles back at me.

"I'll make sure to talk to my boss as soon as I can."

I leave the office and go to the club. I sit across the table from Mr. LeGrand and explain the situation to him. I tell him about how I'm try to gain weight and I mention wanting to eat better but how food is a big issue for us.

"Mr. LeGrand, is there anyway the club could give me some free food as compensation for performin' on stage? Right now Doc said to eat at least 1600 calories a day, but the goal is to get to 3000 calories to gain fifteen pounds. I know this is a big ask Mr. LeGrand, but just being able to eat a good meal after the show on the right days would be a big help."

Mr. LeGrand walks to grab a menu to see what he can afford to give me regularly.

"If we can work somethin' out then I can keep up with the calories and be in better shape. Doc says it'll help my fatigue too."

I stare at Mr. LeGrand in anticipation. He writes down a list of menu items that are cheap enough to consistently give away.

"Give this a list a look Danny. Are any of these items enough for what you want to do accomplish?"

I take the paper and go through the items one at a time.

"Ok, so... this stew and bread and gumbo and rice would work. If I combine this with food at home and stuff that Mimi cooks me I think I could make it work."

I smile at Mr. LeGrand, now feeling much more optimistic about things.

"I know Mimi tells me all the time about wanting to have you and your father over for dinner. She must be a very caring sister Danny."

"Yeah, we'd love to eat with you and Mimi Mr. LeGrand. It'd be real nice and we'd appreciate it so much if we can do that."

As I'm speakin' to him I feel myself start to cry as my heart overflows with gratitude.

"Thank you Mr. LeGrand, you're makin' a big difference by even offerin' this."

I try holding it in but I break down, my whole body shaking and the tears streaming down my face.

"It's... it's just that... I can't remember the last time someone was this nice to me without asking for somethin' in return or hold what they did over my head until I owed them. It's just a lot to get through right now Mr. LeGrand, and it's just a lot to have someone be generous to me for once."

My entire body feels like it's vibrating with emotion as I try to wipe away the tears.

"Have you eaten, Danny?"

I hear my stomach growl and look down at myself.

"I've only eaten one or two meals since yesterday, it's definitely catchin' up to me now."

I try to compose myself and fight my tears as tears roll down my cheeks and I can feel my heart beating faster.

"Tell you what Danny. Why don't you and your father come over for lunch? Mimi would love to see you both again."

I slowly nod my head as I try to collect myself.

"I'd be happy to eat with y'all Mr. LeGrand. Mimi and me had that plan for a meal a long time ago, there's jus..."

As I wipe my tears away I notice my hands shaking.

"It's just hard when you're poor Mr. LeGrand... I just don't know if I'm good enough to be in anyone's home, but... if it's alright I'd love to eat with y'all."

"You're off the clock Danny so just call me Charlie. Go and call Mr. Fisher. I'll go call Mimi to tell her the news."

I nod my head and quickly grab my jacket. My tears have stopped flowing and I feel hopeful for the first time in days. I can't let on to Mimi and Charlie how relieved I am or that I'm starving so I leave the room as quickly as I can. My heart feels the most relief it's had in a long time as I head to call my dad about lunch. As I walk down the road past the stores I realize I'm shaking and hungry but can't wait to see the look on my dad's face when I tell him he's invited for lunch.

"Danny! Daddy! It's so good to see you."

Mimi holds her arms out to hug me and it's been so long since I've been able to hug my sister that I almost cry again.

"How are you Mimi?"

"I'm doing well Danny. How are you boys doing without me?"

"I'm doin' ok Mimi. Things are rough for us, we've been runnin' all over the city workin' and stuff, but we're makin' it."

"Come in come in."

She grabs Pa's hand and leads him to sit down. I follow her to the dining room and try not to stare at it in awe, this is the first nice place I've been invited to have lunch at since I was a kid. Mimi, Charlie and Pa all sit down at the table and I quickly get a chair to join them as I feel my stomach growling.

"I've been so hungry Mimi, it's just been a while for me since I've had a proper meal."

Mimi passes around the plates as Charlie serves food for her and her husband, then me and my dad get our portions.

"My, oh my, this looks great Mimi. Thanks a million and to you Charlie."

I take the plate in front of me with a big smile, ready to start shoving food into my starving stomach, but I notice no food in front of Mimi. I try to stay quiet and let her eat first as she takes a place at her own seat.

"I made enough sandwiches for everyone."

I take a sandwich and quickly start to eat it as quick as I can.

"Wow Mimi, these are great, I could eat four or five of these." I take another sandwich and stuff it in my mouth while Mimi takes a small bite and watches my every move.

"This is way better than what I've been eatin' Mimi. I ain't even had a sandwich in so long I forgot how great these taste."

As I eat my fourth sandwich, the excitement and enjoyment of eating actual food as opposed to whatever leftover food items I could get my hands on has got me all worked up. My stomach, which is already full, seems to be asking for more. As I look around the table and see Mimi and Charile both eatin' their sandwiches and my dad diggin' in as much as I am I start to feel bad about how much I'm eatin'.

"Should I... should I save y'all some more sandwiches Mimi?"

"Don't worry Danny there's plenty of food. Eat as much as you can handle."

I notice Mimi and my Pa are both quiet and eatin' as much as me, I feel their eyes on me as Mr. LeGrand takes a sip of water. I continue to take in food in quickly and silently, afraid of doing something wrong. After several minutes I finally decide to speak in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Mimi, this food is so good I can eat it all day. Is this one of your special recipes?"

Mimi giggles and looks at me, a lightness in her eyes and a smile on her face.

"Oh come on Danny. You've had my famous sandwiches plenty of times for school."

The mention of her making these for me brings back memories of school lunches.

Oh yeah Mimi, it seems like forever ago that I've had these. It musta been the best thing about goin' to class."

I think about my days at school when I was younger, how tough they were, and how much I wanted things to change for the future. I quickly swallow my current bite of food and take the moment in, feeling happy just from the food, and also from being able to catch up with Mimi.

"Mimi was always the chef of the house after their mama died about 4 years ago."

"Oh yeah, I always remember that dinner time was Mimi's responsibility after that."

I think about when I'd come home and Mimi was the only person in the house cooking after Pa had to work late.

I remember that too. Always cookin' by herself after school for both of us all the time. Oh man Mimi, I've been so tired and hungry these last few days, it's so good to actually eat something nice for once.

Mimi looks at me and smiles, knowing I'm enjoying myself.

"I'm glad you still enjoy my cooking, Danny. You're welcome to come back anytime."

The month passes and I see Dr. Jones for your next visit.

"How do you think you did at managing 1600 calories a day?"

I stare at the log and think about my diet this month.

"Well, overall I think I did pretty good. I definitely didn't achieve my goal of 1600 calories everyday, but I at least made that goal half of the time. And some of those days I made it to 1400 calories, which is a huge improvement."

I feel like I've made real progress in managing my hunger and the feelings aren't overwhelming like they used to be.

"Here are your results. Go ahead and read the final number Mr. Fisher."

I read through the numbers and let out a heavy sigh once I see that I did even better than expected. I feel so relieved to be doing so much better than I thought I was.

"1850, that's way more than I was thinkin' for myself this month! I mean 1400 was a miracle for me, I really didn't expect myself to do any better!"

"You had some good days where you had more calories per day than others. That boosted your average. How have you been able to eat more during these days?"

I think back to a few of the meals I ate and the foods I chose to make up the 1600 or more per day, and the realization of a big reason I did those things hits me.

"I just ate what I really wanted Dr. Jones. I didn't think of myself this month, I just thought about what I wanted to eat and how much I wanted it. Instead of sayin' nope I can't do that and eatin' something like an apple or a salad, I just kinda said to myself... just eat what you want Danny. You'll feel better for it."

"You mean you would purposely eat less than what you had? I didn't know your financial struggles were that bad."

I feel my heart break a little, knowing what I'm about to say might surprise Dr. Jones or make me look bad.

"Well... I would always eat what I had to and make it seem like I ate enough to Mimi and Pa. I just... figured, I could do without some food if I had to."

I look down, feeling a bit ashamed. I know I shouldn't be doing this and it's unhealthy, but I can't help myself. I always want to look out for Mimi and Pa and do my best to protect them from the harsh truth.

"How long have you been doing this?"

I feel my heart sink a little, wishing I didn't have to say it, but I look up at Dr. Jones as I tell him the truth.

"Since our mom passed... so a little over 4 years now."

I try to look up at him with a face that's not too full of shame and guilt and instead look like a strong man who's just doing his best for his family.

"Mr. Fisher I want you to spend this next month eating as much as you can with what you're given. I want to see how much you can eat without any limitations on yourself."

I feel nervous at this idea, but I listen and nod my head slightly.

"Yeah, I can do that. I... I think I can do that Dr. Jones."

I feel a little anxious about eating that much, but I also feel excited. It feels like he's giving me the permission I've needed for so long to fully satisfy my hunger.

"I understand that you have to share food with your Pa, but don't hesitate to eat until you're full."

I sit there thinking about eating all that I can and not hesitating to eat what I need to satisfy my hunger, and my thoughts make me hungry.

I'll eat until I'm full I promise. This next month I'm gonna do just that, eat until I'm full."

"That's all I want you to change. Let's see how that effects your calorie count for the month."

I think about all the things I want to eat and how much I'm going to eat them, letting myself feel the feeling of anticipation and excitement for a chance to eat food I enjoy and eat as much as I want.

"That's all I have to do, just eat 'till I'm full. I know I can do it Dr. Jones, I am going to do it this next month."

"I think if after this month we'll weigh you again. My hope is that you didn't lose weight."

"Yeah, that sounds good to me."

I feel excited as I think about eating all the food I want and not restricting myself to something that barely fills me up. I wonder how I'll react as I see myself gain weight over the next month, and also how Mimi and Pa will react.

"You've been doing a good job at lowering your calorie deficit Mr. Fisher. As long as you keep your activity levels the same and continue to gradually increase your calorie count, you should eventually start to gain weight."

"That sounds good to me Dr. Jones."

I rub my stomach absently as I think about eating as much as I want and knowing that I'm going to be gaining weight for once. I feel my stomach rumbling loud, it's so ready to get started.

"It's a new month, so I'm gonna do exactly what you said. I wanna eat as much as I can for the next month and not worry about it. Just eat whenever I feel like it and let myself enjoy the food."

I look up to Dr. Jones with excitement and determination.

"Excellent."

Time passes and we're at Nellie's place and she's in the kitchen cooking dinner for us. I'm sitting on the couch while she gets everything ready and can hear her moving around the kitchen. My stomach feels so hungry and the smell from the kitchen is making it even worse.

"Come on Nellie, dinner's got me about to eat this wall right here. I'm starving."

Nellie looks up at me from her spot in the kitchen and smiles while coming out to sit next to me on the couch.

"Chicken is almost ready Danny."

"Just a little longer I hope?"

I can feel my stomach rumble and hear the hunger pains coming back as I wait for Nellie to finish gettin' things set up. I look at Nellie and watch the way she moves, she seems so natural when she's cookin', she cooks the way somebody loves to cook. She turns back to the kitchen and I have to stop myself from jumping up and runnin' behind her to get the food.

"I have 5 more minutes unless you want raw chicken."

I can't hold back anymore, I get up and go to the kitchen and stand behind Nellie as I look over her shoulders.

"How 'bout just a little taste Nellie, please? How 'bout just one bite and I won't ask for any more 'til we sit down and eat it as a meal."

Nellie turns around and looks back at me and can't help but laugh. She knows I'm about to explode from hunger.

"You can try my mashed potatoes. Let me know if it needs anything."

I take the spoon from her hand and scoop a giant scoop of mashed potatoes to taste. I look back at her and can see her giggling at me as I'm about to shove the spoon in my mouth.

"I'm sorry Nellie, I'm so hungry. I'm just... I really wanna taste it."

Nellie is still giggling as I slowly take the first bite. It was everything I thought it would be and more, the hot, creamy and smooth potatoes melt in my mouth as my hungrily chews them. I slowly swallow and smile.

"Oh Nellie, you weren't kidding... this is amazing."

"I'm glad you like them Danny."

"I love 'em, this is just what I needed."

Nellie laughs and goes back to finish cooking dinner. She comes back out a few minutes later and serves us the chicken, a couple sides and biscuits with butter. She sits next to me, watching as I dig in to the meal and start eating.

"Oh Nellie, I knew you were the one."

The month passes without event. I'm in the middle of my next appointment with Dr. Jones, seeing him at the end of the month. I haven't gained too much weight but am feeling so much better, knowing that I'm eating the amount my body is asking for. I'm no longer restricting myself to barely enough and feel proud of eating when I'm hungry, and not feeling bad about it.

"Ok Dr. Jones, I'm here for the wrap up. You wanted me to come back at the end of the month, and here I am, you can weigh me and see how I'm doin' with eating."

I hand over my food journal to Dr. Jones and watch as he reads through it. I can't wait to see what he thinks of my progress.

"How did I do Dr. Jones, can I see the number?"

I watch as he shows me the number and feel tears start to flood my eyes with excitement.

"Oh my God, I did it, I did it Dr. Jones! I... I did it."

I'm overcome with emotion in that moment, the results hit me hard and I just wanna hug everyone in the room and feel the relief that I finally made some progress on this eating thing that's been a problem for so long.

"2000 calories average per day Dr. Jones, all month long."

I sit there taking in the number and smiling at all the progress I've made in the last month.

"Yes I was quite impressed that on certain days you hit the 2500 calorie average. How were you able to hit that number on those days?"

I look at Dr. Jones and try to remember what I ate on those days.

"Oh those days, I ate two huge meals. One when I finally woke up, and one before bed. I just went until I couldn't eat anymore, and then had a snack in between. You know, I used to feel scared and guilty about eating so much, but... it felt so different this month eating all that food, it was like I was happy that I was doin' it for myself. I wanted to eat and it felt good to eat... I just felt free."

"Do you think that having a lot more free meals allowed you to have more money to spend?"

My face lights up as I think about it.

"Yeah I think so actually, it really helped. We could actually afford to eat more this month, and it let my family eat better too. We ate more this month than any other month in the last year. And I liked eatin' food without worryin' about what was gonna happen after. I'm not eatin' a whole bunch and then gettin' nothing for the rest of the month. Not this month Dr. Jones, I finally feel like I can eat. It's such a relief."

"Now how have your energy levels been?"

I let out a huge sigh of relief.

"I feel great Dr. Jones! I feel like I can run a marathon, I'm not tired all the time, no more napping in the afternoons. I feel like I have so much energy, I can't explain it. Dr. Jones, it's wonderful. I just feel so alert and ready to take on the world."

The concept of not starving my body for once feels amazing. I'm so used to going without or only eating barely enough, to think that my body isn't starving and that I'm actually giving it the calories it needs to function the way it was meant too... it feels like magic. I feel so happy listening to Dr. Jones explain it.

"So... my body isn't starving anymore? It gets everything it needs, so now it's able to feel good and have energy?"

"Not quite yet but you've been doing a better job at planning when to eat that you haven't felt as fatigued."

I think about it and it makes perfect sense. Before I was always just eating whatever I could whenever I could just to satisfy the hunger. This way, I get better control over my food intake and give my body the schedule it's used to, making it feel more normal.

"Yeah, that's true. This month I was eating breakfast when I should and lunch and dinner at certain times. It didn't feel like I was just grabbing food from when I got hungry and when I had enough, I was eatin' when I was supposed to eat."

"Now to make sure you haven't lost anymore weight it's time to step on the scale, Mr. Fisher."

I feel a rush of anxiety as I prepare to step on the scale. I feel better than I have in a long time but I have no idea if I'm gaining weight or losing weight. I just hope that I'm not still losing weight.

"When you first started this diet plan, you were at 147 lbs. Now because you're still not eating at least 2500 calories you're still going to have a deficit. That means you're still at risk of losing weight. As long as you don't lose more than 5 lbs you'll be ok."

I hold my breath and wait for the results, the dread setting in and all the anxiety starting to build up as I prepare for the results I'm hoping to not see. I feel so anxious and so ready for the answer at the same time. The moment feels like it lasts forever, but finally the number appears on the screen. I look up and see Dr. Jones looking down at the screen and he has a smile on his face.

"145 lbs. You only lost 2 lbs since we started."

"I lost 2 lbs? That's it?"

I feel an overwhelming wave of relief wash over me as I smile the biggest smile I've ever had. It's like all the weight was lifted from my shoulders and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can breathe again.

"Yes that means the diet plan is working. We're minimizing your calorie deficit to slow down your weight loss."

I keep grinning and nod my head, so relieved with the results Dr. Jones is telling me.

"I'm so happy to hear that, really. What can I do to ensure I don't lose any more weight? Is there anything I can do to help make sure I don't get any weaker or anything like that?"

"Keep going with the diet plan. Also try to keep the calories you burn low."

I nod my head and start to get out of my chair.

"So keep eating all the calories I need to feel full and not hold back and also, just... stay as inactive as I can? That sounds easy enough. I can do that."

I get out of my chair and reach out to shake Dr. Jones's hand.

"Thank you, Dr. Jones. This has been the most helpful month of my life. I really can't thank you enough for what you've done, I feel like I've learned so much and gotten so much better."

"You already have a very physical job performing so you can afford to take it easy outside of work."

I nod along and smile as Dr. Jones continues talking.

"Yeah, that makes sense. Well alright, I'll keep up with the diet and I'll be sure to not exert myself too much outside of work, I'll take it easy."

I turn to leave the room to finish the session and head home and call Nellie, excited to make dinner together and to tell her I got through the month with no problem with my eating and that I'm happy with what Dr. Jones said about my progress.

"I'm so proud of you Danny."

"Thanks, Nellie. I really think I'm gettin' to be where I wanna be."

Another month passes and here I am, sitting back in the chair with Dr. Jones, getting ready for our appointment. I've been sticking with the diet and I'm feeling great. Not only is the weight loss slowing down, but I'm not worried about food anymore. I'm able to eat when I'm hungry and I can feel my body thanking me for giving it the fuel it needs. I can even feel my body fill out with muscle mass as a result of working at the club, I'm in a great place and I'm eager for Dr. Jones to weigh me and see this month's results.

"Have you been able to afford a regular diet plan Mr. Fisher?"

I look up at Dr. Jones and nod, I'm pretty proud of myself and he should be proud of me.

"Yeah, we've been doin' better and eatin' so much more as a family. I got no problem affording food this month, we're all doin' great now. It's like I got a whole new lease on life, we're not stressin' over food and eatin' and we got plans to save some of our money for when we don't have as much work to do in the future."

I smile at Dr. Jones and wait for the results.

"It's good to hear that your financial struggles aren't interfering with your diet plan."

He looks at the scale and writes the number down.

"The last time you were weighed, you were 145 lbs. You're now back to 147. That's a 2 lb gain."

I try to hold my excitement back but I can't stop the smile on my face from growing bigger and bigger.

"I did it, Dr. Jones. I gained back some of the weight I lost and it didn't even come back as fat, I got stronger and my muscles are bigger!"

I can't stop smiling as I feel the relief wash over me, the months of dieting and stress are finally paying off and I finally feel like I've made some serious progress. The numbers don't lie and my body is feeling the change!

"That's right. Despite weighing the same as you did when we first started, you're much healthier now. You should be expected to gain the 13 pounds to get to 160 in about 6 months at the pace you're going."

Another huge smile forms on my face and I look up at Dr. Jones, feeling like this is the greatest news of all time. I finally did it, I'm finally out of the hole and eating healthy and regularly like I should be.

"Now when you first started this diet plan you had anemia and a vitamin D deficiency. I would like you to get a blood test for our next visit."

I nod and smile as I take in the news, so happy that my body is healthy and that I'm out of the hole I spent my teenage years in. I'm so excited to get this done and to get my blood tested next time.

"Will do, Dr. Jones. I just have to make sure I don't do too much physical activity this week, right? Because that might give us a bad reading on the calorie burn?"

"That's right. Once you gain the weight you need we can edit your plan. For now just continue what you did last month."

I nod and sit back in my chair, feeling so relieved to hear just that.

"Sounds good Dr. Jones. I'll keep up with my diet plan and make sure not to do anything too strenuous. I can do that, no problem."

I stand up and reach out to shake Dr. Jones's hand again.

"Thank you for all your help for me this month, you have no idea how good this has been for me. And the news of the weight gain is the cherry on top, this has been a great month for me and next month I'm gonna hit my goals for sure."

I notice myself getting better sleep as the month goes by, getting restful sleep and being satisfied when I wake up each morning.

"Wow... I can't believe how much different I feel. My nightmares are going away and I'm sleeping so much better. I think I'm even feeling better during the day, I just feel so much more confident and comfortable in my own body. Dr. Jones is right, just eating normal meals and not denying myself when I was hungry made such a difference. I can't believe I fought eating for so long, it's so much easier this way."

I go to get my blood test and take a seat.

"Alright nurse, I'm ready when you are."

I look up at her nervously, but excited to see if I'm healthier or not.

"Make a fist, Mr. Fisher."

I do as she says and make a fist, nervous as I look down at my fists and then back at her, awaiting her next instruction.

Do you want me to use a butterfly needle?

I nod my head and then look back at her.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

I feel the needle jab my arm gently and then I feel some pressure and some pain. I try my best to stay brave and let them finish drawing out my blood, feeling the needle still in my arm. I take a deep breath, trying to stay calm.

"I understand you were diagnosed with anemia Mr. Fisher. If you start to feel faint don't hesitate to tell me."

I feel dizzy and light headed but I fight through it and try not to look at the needle. I'm so glad she warned me, it's a little worse than I imagined but I take deep breaths and try to ignore it and keep my mind as free from it as I can.

"Yeah... I'm a little light headed here, but I'm alright."

"I can have the back of the chair lowered. Would that help?"

I start to feel my vision go a little blurred and the dizziness grows and I start to feel woozy.

"Yeah, I think that'd help actually."

I'm feeling very dizzy and light headed and I feel like I might pass out from the light headedness and the needle. I try my hardest to keep calm as I wait for the chair to go down, hoping that will help me.

"Yeah, I think that's better."

I look up at the nurse and try to smile at her, still feeling a bit unsteady but no longer on the verge of passing out.

"I only need to take one more vial of blood. Can you handle this?"

"Yeah... I should be okay."

The nurse switches out the final vial.

"Only a couple more minutes, Mr. Fisher."

As I feel the needle slowly withdraw and hear the last vial getting filled with the blood, I feel a rush of relief and joy over being almost finished. I try my best not to move and to keep my breathing steady as I wait for the very end.

"Ok, Mr. Fisher. How do you feel?

I try to open my eyes but the dizziness has me a little off balance and blurry vision. I take some more deep breaths, still feeling a bit light headed and dizzy but more stable. I look up at the nurse, trying to smile at her but it's a little fuzzy like I'm having trouble seeing.

"A little light headed and... I mean, I don't feel good but... a little better."

She hands me a cup of water and some cookies.

"How long do you think it would be before your Pa picks you up?"

I take the water and drink a little of it and try to eat one of the cookies as well, it's just enough to settle me back down as I look up at her.

"Um, he should be here soon, he's only about a half mile from here."

I swallow the cookie and take some more deep breaths, still feeling a little light headed but now looking up at her and smiling a little more, feeling good about making it through the blood test.

"Well you know what to do once you get home. Just take it easy until he gets here."

I feel a little stronger and not nearly as light headed as before, more so a bit tired, I look up at her, smiling and a little grateful to have a good nurse on hand.

"Alright, son. I'm here."

"Thanks, Pa."

I wake up on the couch later that night, feeling a little out of it but otherwise okay. The weight of the day catches up to me and I feel myself drifting off to sleep again. I'm glad I went through all of the dieting and exercise and the blood test and everything and that it's over and I can now just do my best to maintain. I slowly doze off as I lay back down in the living room of my home, happy to be out of the hole I was stuck in for so long.

"Danny. It's time to go to the doctor's."

I get outta bed and go to the office.

"Now then, Mr. Fisher I'd like to start today's appointment going over your results."

I look up at him nervously, feeling excited but also a little anxious to see where I stand now.

"Yeah, let's get right into it, I've been waitin' all month to hear this."

"These are your previous results that saw you get diagnosed with anemia and deficient in vitamin D. And these are your current results. Let me know if you have any questions, Mr. Fisher."

I take in the results slowly, looking at everything and taking a few deep breaths to collect my thoughts.

"Is... the anemia gone?"

"You're still not at a normal range yet, but both will improve to that level once you gained enough weight."

I sigh, feeling relieved and a little frustrated at the same time.

"Okay... well, how about my weight Dr. Jones? Do we know how much weight I've gained?"

He writes down my weight after I step on the scale.

"Excellent work, Mr. Fisher. You weigh 149 lbs."

I feel the air catch in my chest for a second, stunned at the number. I had hoped that I'd gained more than I actually had, but there's still so much to celebrate.

"Now I was thinking that since you're consistently hitting your calorie count, you would only need to come back in 6 months."

My smile grows as I hear the news.

"6 months? That's... that's awesome! So I don't need to come back next month?"

"That's right, Mr. Fisher."

My smile grows and I put my hands out to my sides, feeling the anticipation of a life finally free of my eating disorder.

"Dr. Jones, I can't wait for that. These 6 months will be over in no time and I'll be living the rest of my life with a healthy body and no food struggles, I know it."

As I work on gaining weight, I run into some of the challenges I've had to work with in the past. I find myself trying to force down my meals which causes me to feel nauseous at times and I sometimes struggle to get enough calories in a day. Despite my best efforts, I find myself feeling discouraged and worried that I'm not gaining enough weight or hitting my calorie goals. As these 6 months pass by, I'm happy to be progressing but still frustrated and worried about whether or not I'm going in the right direction.

"Are you ok Danny?"

I look up at him, noticing him watching over me. I nod my head but it's obvious I'm a bit frustrated.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine Pa. Just feeling a little down, maybe I'm not eatin' enough or something."

I feel a little embarrassed as I look down at my half finished plate of gumbo.

"I mean... Yeah, I could eat some more but I'm just not sure if I want to, you know? It's a lot of food."

I try to stay positive but it's obvious I'm feeling down and discouraged. It's hard to keep optimistic and I'm worried that my eating has been slowing more than I initially thought.

"Gumbo keeps fine son. It ain’t gonna be wasted if you can’t finish it all."

It's hard for me to listen to him and I feel frustrated for not wanting to eat more. I know I need to gain more weight but this food just isn't agreeing with me and I feel like something is wrong.

"Yeah... alright, I'll try..."

I look slightly disappointed but ultimately get up from the table and take a walk outside to get some fresh air. I try to take some deep breaths outside, feeling a little more relaxed but still not hungry. I take a few more breaths and try to focus on my breathing, trying to relax and let out the pent-up frustration I feel.

"It's not easy, you know. Every day its a struggle to eat the meals and finish them. And I'm always feeling like I'm not hitting the calorie goal and I'm not gaining enough weight and just having this fight with the food all the time. It just really wears me down."

I feel tired and frustrated but try to put on a smile for my Pa.

"I'm okay, Pa. Just... having a hard time eating everything, you know? And I just wanna make sure I'm hitting the calorie goal and getting it in but I just... I'm not hungry. I'm just not hungry like I thought I would be and it's driving me nuts."

I put my head in my hands and feel frustrated and exhausted.

"Come here, son. Let's hug."

I hug him back, feeling so defeated and exhausted. I feel like no matter what I do I'm failing at it and it's so disheartening.

"I just... I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"You’re thinking about being hungry instead of feeling hungry. It’s a similar feeling to wanting to fall asleep instead of feeling tired."

I feel the tension come out of my body as what he just said suddenly clicks with me.

"Oh. That makes sense. So just go by my body and when I feel full, then stop? I don't need to force myself to finish the plate?"

"I know it’s important for you to eat a certain amount of calories a day and it’s good that you keep track. Just don’t let your eating habits revolve around a specific number."

I nod my head.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry I made such a big deal out of this. I'll just try to listen to my body and just eat until I feel full or satisfied. And if I don't finish a plate that's fine too. It's okay if I have a bit of leftovers. I'm just gonna stop obsessing over hitting the calories and try to relax and eat like I used to."

I feel a bit better, knowing I'm on the right track now and realizing my mindset about eating was just a little off. I have to trust my body.

"You always ate good when we have dinner with Mimi. Just keep yourself relaxed when you need to eat."

"That's good advice Pa, thanks. I've gotta remember that and keep on track."

I sit back down and notice my half eaten gumbo. I stare at it for a moment and think back to what my Pa said before.

"That's right, if I'm full then the gumbo will be fine tomorrow and I can always eat it then."

I reach out and pick up my spoon, but I pause for a moment and look at him.

"It's still okay if I don't finish this, right?"

"That’s right son. No point in force feeding yourself. You’d end up vomiting and losing your appetite."

I nod my head and finally let go of the need to finish everything and begin eating. I take a few bites of gumbo, enjoying the taste and knowing that my stomach is feeling a little better than before. I don't force myself to finish everything, knowing that it'll keep til tomorrow. This feels much better and much more relaxing.

"This is good, Pa, not forcing everything. I really need to just listen to myself."

I put my spoon down and take a drink of water.

"Well if you’re done I’ll put the pot away and maybe in a few minutes you can finish your bowl."

I nod my head, contented with just having a small amount. I notice the pot being put away and realize that I just need to stick to this pattern and know that I don't have to finish everything.

"Yes, that sounds good. I'm good for now and I'm happy. This is the best I've felt in months."

I continue to feel relief wash over me as I realize I'm feeling so much better with food and my relationship with it.

"Pa, I'm going to my last appointment."

"Good luck, Danny."

I walk into Dr. Jones' office and sit down in the chair, feeling a little nervous and anxious but also excited to find out. I look over to him and give him a little smile.

"Hey, Dr. Jones, how are you today? I'm here for my appointment and just wanted to see if I met the goal we set in place for me. I should be about a hundred and sixty pounds, right?"

I look at him with a sense of anticipation, hoping that I met the goal and can start focusing on maintaining and not gaining. I cross my fingers and wait for his response.

"Alright, Mr. Fisher. We're ready to check you weight."

I step onto the scale and look at the numbers, not sure what to expect. It's been three months since my diet started and I know I've been doing really well eating as consistently as possible. I hope that's reflected in the number on the scale. I take a deep breath and look at the number, feeling like so much of this journey has been leading up to this point. I see the number 161 pop up on the scale and I feel so relieved. I feel my eyes well up as I see the number come up. I did it, I met the goal.

"Wow... I did it. I'm actually at 161 pounds and that's where I needed to be."

"Well done. How have you felt ever since you started this weight gain journey?"

I look at him for a moment and think about the question before giving him an answer.

"I feel, I feel so much better. I have more energy and I feel happier overall. It's strange, I used to never be hungry. My stomach felt full all the time and I felt like I was gonna have to force food down just to hit my calorie count every day. Now, though, I'm just hungry naturally. I feel like my body is finally sending me the right signals and I'm eating when I'm hungry but not over eating. It's... amazing honestly."

"You first came here because you said your therapist wanted to rule out physical issues causing your sleeping problems. Have your nightmares improved at all?"

My expression changes as I get a little sad.

"Actually... yeah, they have. I used to have really intense, frightening nightmares. It was one of the things that really affected my sleep. Now I don't really have them as much, just normal dreams and ones that I can wake up from easily, but I don't remember the last time I had the really intense nightmares. I just... sleep easier at night and feel more at peace. I'm not sure if it's just knowing I'm making progress with my diet or if it was something else, but I'm happy they're gone."

"In that case, we're going to move onto the final stage of your diet plan."

I look up at him with a mixture of excitement and a little bit of nervousness too.

"Oh, okay. What comes next after reaching the goal? I'm a little scared about what's happening next. I don't have to keep on dieting do I? I was really looking forward to not having to worry about eating all the time."

I laugh and give him a smile, wondering what the last stage would require of me.

"This final stage is finding the right amount of calories you would need to maintain your current weight since your activity level is consistent."

I nod my head and take in what he's saying.

"Alright, let's get to it then. How will we figure out what that new calorie range is going to be? I'll do my best to stick to it, just tell me what we need to do to make it happen."

I lean forward in my chair and smile over to him, feeling confident and eager to follow through with the final steps now that the goal has been reached.

"There's a certain formula I can use that calculates how much you burn. When you perform at the King Creole what exactly do you do for how long each day?"

I think back to the times when I've been dancing and singing at the King Creole. I know that I definitely feel like I'm moving a lot and that it's pretty active, but I don't want to over estimate it so...

"I'd say it's probably more of a low impact dancing that I do for at least 3-4 hours. A lot of the songs that I've found work best for me are more of a slow groove than anything else."

"In that case you would burn at least 1000 calories alone just by performing."

My eyes go a little wide as I hear the number and I look over to Dr. Jones to confirm.

"Is that right? I'm burning at least 1000 calories a day just by performing at the King Creole every night?"

"Unfortunately we don't have any means of recording exactly what you burn so that number is merely an estimate. I believe to give you a good range we can start off with a 2500 calorie minimum."

I nod my head and feel a little worried, wondering if this is going to be difficult to maintain.

"I can do that, for sure. I don't want to keep on gaining weight but I definitely don't want to start losing any either. Can we weigh me every week or every month to make sure I'm sticking with things? I can weigh myself at home too so I don't have to keep coming back to see you unless it's necessary."

"I would weigh yourself every month. At this point you won't have to keep coming back. Just schedule an appointment when you think it's needed."

I nod my head and smile.

"That's fair. I'll make sure to keep things steady, monitor my eating and stay on top of my weight."

I stretch and feel my arms, feeling the new muscle definition and enjoying the way it feels to be this size now.

Thank you, Dr. Jones, I really appreciate everything you've done for me. I can't tell you how much better I feel now and I'm looking forward to this next stage."

It's my 20th birthday party and life couldn't be any better. I'm on stage at the King Creole and singing one of my favorite songs to perform at this point. It's a song that I've always wanted to sing and it's just a fun and upbeat track to get the crowd going and keep them engaged. My hair is much longer than before the diet and it flows with every movement I make on stage. I'm enjoying a drink to celebrate the day and I look out at my friends who have come out to the nightclub to celebrate with me. I'm smiling and having the time of my life and feeling incredibly happy about everything.

"Happy birthday Danny."

I look over to Nellie and smile, feeling so happy to see her and grateful that she's come out tonight.

"Thank you, Nellie. I can't believe I'm already at this age. I feel like I was just turning 18 a few days ago! I've been looking forward to this night and thank you so much for coming out to celebrate with me."

I look over to her and see the way she's dressed tonight, her hair done really nice and a beautiful smile on her face.

"You look amazing tonight, Nellie."

She wraps her arms around me.

"It's not everyday you turn 20 years old."

I return the hug and make it long, feeling how good it is to put my arms around her.

"I can't believe it, it doesn't feel like I'm this old, but I'm grateful that I have so many people around me to celebrate with today. I'm so glad you could come and see my show tonight."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Danny."

"Thank you so much... you know how much it means to me that you're here. I don't think the night could be any better if I tried."

I lean in closer and look at her.

"Hey, can I ask you somethin'?"

"Of course."

I look around to make sure there's no one else around that could hear us.

"I've... been wantin' to ask you something for a while now. I just... I get so nervous every time 'cause I don't want to ruin what we have and I'm scared you'll say no."

I take a deep breath and look at her.

"I've been wantin' to ask you if maybe you'd wanna... go out sometime? I think your hair is just gorgeous by the way."

I look down at her hair and smile at her as it flows down past her shoulders.

"Yo Danny, getta drink homie!"

I laugh and take the mug, feeling a little nervous but also a little drunk. I look at her and smile, seeing how beautiful she is and trying to muster up the courage to ask her. I gulp down some of the beer and decide that now's as good a time as any to give it a shot.

"Hey Nellie."

I look back at her and feel the courage start to rush through my veins. I can do this, I want to do this.

"Hey. I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now and it's kinda why I've been so nervous around you."

Without thinking too much, I just come right out and say it to her.

"I've always had a thing for you and I've wanted to ask you out for a long time now. There were so many times I wanted to just tell you how I felt but I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way. Well tonight... I'm just too drunk and feeling too happy not to just tell you that you're amazing and that I really like you."

She follows me over and sits with me on the couch in the dressing room.

"Hey, Nellie."

I look at her and feel the nervous energy come back as I anticipate her answer. I cross my fingers under my thigh and wait for her to say something one way or the other. She looks at me and I smile, feeling like I might have finally found the courage to tell her how I feel like I should have so much sooner.

"Yes Danny?"

I'm completely lost in the moment as I watch her get closer and feel my heart start pounding out of my chest. This is it, I'm about to find out if she likes me back or not.

"So, it took me a while to work up the courage, but I just have to ask. Do you like me? I mean, the way I like you?"

I look at her and wait, biting my lip and feeling every movement and breath from both of us. She's so close and I can smell her perfume. It feels like every nerve in my body is firing at once.

"Oh Danny."

My eyes widen when she kisses me suddenly, the taste and smell of her sending me into a tizzy of sensation and emotion. I pull her in closer and kiss her back with all the passion in my body, my hands roaming up her back and pulling her in closer and closer. I move slowly and sensually with her, letting my feelings take over and my lips exploring hers and finding something new to love and appreciate each time they meet. I can't believe this is happening and even if this is the apex of the kiss, I want this feeling to never end.

"Nell, honey."

I'm on top of her on the couch, moving my body so it's pressed up against hers. The music blasting from the speakers outside fills the room as we kiss and the feeling that I'm dreaming washes over me. I run my fingers through her hair and move my lips to her neck, kissing her softly as my heart beats faster and faster. I pull away for a moment and look at her, seeing her eyes close and feeling like I want this moment to last forever.

"Nellie, I..."

"Yes, Danny?"

I look her in the eyes and try to find the courage to say what I've been feeling for so long but that I haven't had the strength to tell her.

"I... I love you."

I feel the passion in this moment take over as we continue to kiss. I pull her closer and feel the heat radiating out of our bodies as I move my tongue inside her mouth and our lips explore each others for all that this kiss can offer. My heart is pounding and I move one hand to her hair and the other to grab the bottom of her back. The music pounds outside the dressing room and we're lost in each other. My hands roam over her body and pull her in even closer. I hold onto her tighter and move my leg over her and feel both of us getting lost in sensation.

"Oh Danny."

I groan into her mouth and pull her close again as I wrap myself around her. Our bodies are so close to the point where I feel like we're one. I run my hands down her body and move my hand up her leg. We're so close to what we both want and the tension is becoming unbearable.

"Nellie..."

I whisper softly, feeling like I should be saying more but I'm unable to get the words out. My voice is raspy, my body trembling as I want to tell her how much I love her and how badly I want this to keep going.

"I think we're ready."

I take in a deep breath and move back away from her momentarily but keep myself on top of her. I look at her and feel like we've reached the ultimate point in the relationship we've been building together. I'm feeling the music from the stage outside and can hear the crowd outside, but the only noise that matters to me is the beating of my heart as I watch her and wait for what she's going to say next.

"Nellie... I think we're ready too."

I move my hands to her hair and let my lips explore her body, moving closer as I hear the music outside. Our breath slows as we both realize what we're about to do and the moment in front of us. I take in a deep breath and look into her eyes, trying to take in every feature of her face as we move closer together. I run my hands down her throat and body, the feeling of her skin sending shivers down from my head all the way out to my toes.

"Nellie..."

The music is loud and our bodies are pressed up against each other as we move closer and closer together. My mind is lost in sensation and the music and the atmosphere all around and I can feel her body against mine as we continue to move closer and closer to what we both want. My hands explore every part of her body and I try to memorize every detail. I kiss her harder and harder, trying to get as close as we can as time slows down and we're caught in each other's arms. I can no longer hold back and she can't either.

"Oh Danny! Danny!"

I grip her close and feel the climax approach quickly. I move my body against hers, feeling like we're the only people in the world.

"Nellie..."

I whisper and can feel her body against mine. Time slows down and I feel everything happening in the moment as my body reaches its climax. Nellie. I whisper softly once more and move myself against her, trying to hold back as much as I can but it's impossible. Everything outside the dressing room disappears and I feel like I can't breathe.

"Nellie..."

I whisper again, losing myself in sensation.

"Yes Danny! Yes!"

Everything is happening at once and I'm lost in it, my body moving on its own. I hold her close and let it happen, every inch of my body feeling a release and satisfaction like I've never experienced before. Everything is lost in passion and climax as I hold her close.

"Nellie!!"

I say loudly and continue to move against her, holding her close and losing myself in the moment completely.

"Danny!"

I feel like I'm losing control of my body as every sense I have is being overwhelmed with pleasure. Everything inside me is telling me to hold onto Nellie and never let go. I kiss her face and hold her tighter as the feeling of a release runs through me, feeling like the most incredible thing I've ever experienced.

"Nellie!!"

I yell out loudly and feel her move against me as well, feeling a pleasure equal to what I'm giving her, knowing that it's a shared moment of passion and release.

"DANNY!"

The moment continues to build as we hold onto each other and our senses go numb and we feel the release of the climax wash over us as the music outside drowns everything else out. It feels like the perfect moment of passion and joy and the ultimate release of everything that's been building between us. Nellie screams out in pleasure and I scream as well, letting all of the passion and joy and energy out and onto her, and feeling her do the same right back to me. It's the biggest and best release of everything I've ever felt.

"Oh Danny."

I lay on top of her and rest my head on her chest, feeling like we've just reached a new level of intimacy. I look up at her and see her looking down at me, the light of the stage outside falling on us and giving us a warm glow. I'm smiling and feel myself getting emotional, seeing how beautiful she is and feeling our connection. Things that have felt so out of reach for me are now more than possible with her. I sniffle and try to hold back tears of joy and look up at her.

"Are you alright, Danny?"

I smile and look at her again, seeing the glow of the light come over her and the beauty in her face. The tears fall down my cheeks and I wipe them away, still wanting to be in the moment. The music outside blasts us and we're lost in this feeling together.

"Yeah, Nellie."

I whisper and look at her again.

"I'm better than alright. I'm better than wonderful, Nellie."

I close my eyes and smile at her as she rubs my head and holds me tightly. Even as the moment begins to die down and the excitement wanes, I feel completely content and satisfied. I look at Nellie and smile.

"Nellie... I have something I want to tell you..."

I hold my breath for a moment, trying to find the words in the moment.

"Nellie... everything that... everything I've ever felt for you..."

I close my eyes and feel like the next words I say are the most important of my entire life, and I say them quietly but with everything in my body. I feel that my world just stopped and nothing else matters except her and the feelings I have for her. She looks at me and smiles.

"Nellie... are you... do you feel the same way? I mean, do you love me too?"

I ask, feeling like my heart and soul are in her hands. I look down at her and wait, feeling nervous yet so excited for her answer.

"Of course I do, Danny."

I smile at her and move closer again, wanting to be even closer to her than before. I rest my head on her chest and feel happy that I've found my true love. I feel like I got everything I ever wanted out of this night.

"I love you, Nellie. I really do. And I want to be with you every second of the day. No matter where go or what I do, I want you to be there."

"Danny if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were proposing."

The mention of marriage scares me a bit but I also realize that I do want her in my life forever.

"Well... that idea has crossed my mind. Nellie... will you marry me?"

I look at her with a smile, feeling like I'm asking the most important question of my life right now.

"Of course, Danny. I just hope you can remember asking in the morning."

I laugh and lay my head on her chest again, closing my eyes again. I rest my head on her as I try to absorb every second of this moment.

"Nellie... I'd never forget this night..."

I'm so full of happiness and love that it only takes a few seconds for me to fall asleep. I cuddle up close to Nellie and feel her rubbing my head still, feeling like every moment that passes is taking us closer to our future together. I drift off into a dream of Nellie and me in our home, her by my side for the rest of our lives, taking in all of the love I feel for her and her loving me back.

"Sleep well, Danny."

I lay on my back in bed on our wedding night and feel Nellie laying next to me, looking up at the ceiling and smiling. She turns to my side and faces me, propping her head up with a pillow. I smile back and feel happy and content, staring down at her face as she stares back at me.

"Nellie... are you happy?"

"Yes. We're married now. And I'm so glad that you've been feeling better."

I feel like I'm about to tear up just thinking about how beautiful tonight has been. I look at Nellie and try to hold back my tears but it's almost impossible.

"Nellie, you... you're amazing. Everything about this day... it's been perfect."

I reach over to her and pull her close, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her softly on the cheek. I smile at her and pull her in close, kissing her on the lips softly and slowly. The feeling of her warm body close to mine and her kisses lighting up my soul is the best feeling in the world.

"How do you want to spend our honeymoon?"

I close my eyes and think for a moment, wanting to make the most of every second with Nellie.

"I don't know, Nellie. I just want to be with you everywhere we go. But... I've always wanted to take you to Key West."

I smile and look at her, seeing the beauty in her smile and eyes as she looks back at me. I pull her in close and kiss her cheek again.

"We could get a great spot on the beach, spend time on the sand, swim in the water... what do you think?"

"That sounds great. My cousin Toby's the sheriff there."

I smile again and feel butterflies in my stomach.

"That's right, you have family down there. Well, maybe we could pay Toby a visit and you could show me more of the town. We could drive around all weekend, maybe rent a boat and go fishing."

I lean in to kiss her but stop, wanting to make sure this moment is right.

"Nellie, this is probably a bit premature, I know, but... do you think we'll be ready for kids pretty soon?"

I look at her and feel a bit nervous about whether or not she feels the same way.

"Well. Now that we're alone, I think it's about time I tell you."

I look at her and raise an eyebrow, wondering what she's going to tell me. I smile but also feel my heart speed up.

"Yes, Nellie... what's on your mind?"

I lean in to brush her hair away from her face and wait, wanting the moment to be perfect for whatever she's about to tell me.

"Do you remember the night of your 20th birthday party at the King Creole?"

I nod quickly and think back to that night, feeling like something is about to come up that I've never noticed before. I smile at her and keep my face close to hers, waiting for her to tell me what she's been waiting to say.

"I remember it... why am I getting nervous now?"

I laugh nervously as I feel the butterflies in my stomach take off.

"Nellie, tell me, what is it?"

"I wanted to wait until after we were married, but I'm going to have a baby."

My face lights up with joy and I look at her.

"You're pregnant?! Nellie? Is that what you were avoiding telling me this whole time?"

I feel like a thousand pounds have been lifted off my shoulders, knowing that everything I ever wanted is coming to me in an amazing surge of emotion. I feel like I could pick her up out of the bed and carry her like a princess right now.

"That's right, Danny."

I lean in to kiss her but quickly stop, the thought of the child growing inside of her sending another wave of joy through me. I smile and feel my mind racing with possibilities.

"Nellie... this is everything I ever wanted in the world. Nellie, we're going to have a little boy or girl running around the house in no time! It'll be hard work, but a baby is the ultimate reward. I promise to be the best father you could ever imagine."

I reach over and take her hand and smile at her, wanting her to know that we're in this together.

"Nellie... you're going to be a great mother. I've never been more certain of anything than right now."

I look at her and see her beautiful face smiling at me, the glow in her eyes and the joy on her face telling me that I'm with the right person to start a family. It's perfect. It couldn't be better.

"I'm so glad that you're alright with this."

I look at her and laugh softly.

"Nellie, I'm more than alright with this. This is everything. I'm so happy to share it with you. I love you."

Our honeymoon continues and we spend time walking on the beach, in the sun, holding hands, taking in the beauty around us. We drive around the island, stopping along the way to get a bite to eat and see some of the sights. The baby grows inside Nellie and her belly starts to show slightly, but she feels fine and her spirits and mine couldn't be higher. We stay in Key West for the weekend, then head back to New Orleans. It's been a perfect vacation and I'm ready to start a family with Nellie.

#danny fisher #king creole #elvis fanfiction #elvis fanfic #elvis ai #tw eating issues #tw weight #tw needles #tw alcohol #tw sex mention

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whim-prone-pirate · 2 years ago

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WATCHING AND DREAMING LIVEBLOG ??????? UPDATING AS I WATCH☹️☹️☹️☹️

8:23 who up watching the end of phineas and ferb the mvoie rn

8:25 WHY ARE WE WATCHING AN EDIT OF THE SHOW BEFOFE THE EPISODE WHATS HAPPENING😭😭

8:26 ........archives WOAH SCARY FACE

8:27 oh my god color pallets i'm gonna be sick

8:28 LUMITY ANGST ???? IN HER DREAM ?????? WHAT THE FUCK ?1??1???1?

8:29 oh em gee not lilith's died hair again

8:29 FATHER CLAWTHORNE NO

8:29 EWWWEWEWEWEW☹️☹️☹️

8:30 please do not the luz

8:31 luz blames herself for flapjack💔💔💔💔

8:32 hehe face hold

8:34 REUNION !!!!!!!!

8:34 ray ray im going to kill myself

8:37 GET IT RAINE

8:39 not precariously stacked jenga!!! no !!!!!

8:40 I SAID THEY WOULD NEVER USE THEY/THEM FOR THE COLLECTOR IN CANON AND THEY DID IM SORRH I DOUBTED YOU DANA AND CREW IM SOREY

8:44 ok i got distracted with a different fandom thing where are they

8:46 collector playing grudgby is real

8:46 NOW THATS A SPIN-OFF I'D WATCH

8:47 oh no!!!!!!!!!!

8:48 bros participating in eugenics

8:48 "how'd he get here without a body" most normal toh problem

8:49 oh collector my bug😭😭😭

8:49 FUCKING HELL OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY GOD HER HAT LUZ STOP IT !!!!!!!!!

8:50 kmskmskmskmskmskms

8:50 jaw on the floor she's dissipating

8:51 he csnt fix her😭😭😭😭😭😭

8:52 NO SHE ISNT !!!!! SHE IS NOT !!!!!!!!!!

8:52 oh😭😭😭😭😭 my😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 god😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

8:52 I SHOULD HAVE THANKED THEM

8:53 TITAN ????? HAII

8:53 I AM BOTH KING AND QUEEN BEST OF BOTH THINGS :o)

8:54 watching. and dreaming. watching ..

8:54 where did he get a bad girl coven shirt

8:54 this is what modern leftist political conversations sound like

8:55 it's giving lich

8:56 big fan !!!

8:56 what'd he say what's he SAY WE ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME HERE

8:56 CAMILAAAA !!!!

8:58 "please stop run away" * i am feeling burdened and i taste milk i mumble please please run away but it lives where i live

8:59 WHAAAAAAAT

8:59 SHE HAS FANGS SHE'S TOO COOL

9:00 did i miss something why are they mossydiseased like luz

9:01 i'm too tired for fight scenes rn

9:03 oh my god the titan's hand looks so cool

9:03 RAINE NOT BEINT ABLE TO SEE LMFAOOO

9:04 oh my god she put their glasses on for them

9:04 their hair looks so good🤭🤭

9:05 that fight was not as drawn out as it deserved to be but that is not dana + co's fault💔💔💔💔

9:06 collector💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

9:06 here's how gustholomule can still win

9:07 we have thirteen minutes for canon raeda and huntlow and gustholomule AND another lumity kiss. no pressure tho

9:07 oh god her look is so dark she's. wow

9:07 she doesn't have to be naive to the people who want to hurt her anymore. a win.

9:08 BYE TITAN ILYY

9:09 I LOAF YOU :)))))))))

9:09 so the next eleven minutes are domestic bliss????? yeah??????

9:10 steve moment!!

9:10 GUS AND DAD REUNITE !!!!

9:10 WILLOW AND DADS REUNITE !!!!!!!!!!

9:10 DARIUS ASKING ABOUT HIS SHIRT OH MY GOD😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

9:11 bump cut your hair ..🙁

9:11 cute boscha moment sobs

9:11 darius protects the isles from absolute bitches and whores (real)

9:12 the guards!!

9:12 RAEDA CUDDLES

9:12 LUMITY KISS I TOLD YOU

9:12 NOCEDACLAWTHORNE HUG😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

9:13 see you in the stars bug😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

9:13 sorry i'm ruining my own like

9:13 SHE CANT USE HER GLYPHS ??????????????????????

9:14 oh my god what's happening

9:15 I KNEW HER NARRATION SOUNDED OLDER HER FIT IS SO GOOD

9:15 oh my god THEY LIVE IN THE HOUSE

9:15 willow short hair<3

9:16 flapjack.

9:16 lilith looks so good and matt's stache hasn't grown at all

9:16 AMITY ????????????? LOSES MY MIND

9:17 bump gardener era

9:17 coven removal so real

9:17 ok what was THAT little moment with aladarius

9:18 raeda is def married right like for sure i need to make sure i didn't miss a ring or anything

9:18 GUS LOOKS SO GOOOOOD

9:18 HEADMASTER EDALYN CLAWTHORNE

9:19 oh my god does she have a tattoo

9:19 SHE GETS A QUINCE OH MY FUCKING GODBOH MY FOD OH KY FOD

9:20 LIGHT. LIGHT GLYPH !!!!

9:20 SHE TOKD THEM THANK YOU☹️☹️☹️☹️

9:21 by.3😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

9:21 do you think she's gonna play one more song. she's. she's gonna come back— NO SHES GONNA COME BACK😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅 /ref

#watching and dreaming #the owl house #liveblog #wad liveblog #toh liveblog

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lover-girl-estxx · 22 days ago

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idk if you write for Colby but if you do... You and Colby's daughter being there for him after his last fight

Hey babe..

(B36)

"this is my wife Y/n my daughter Lily" Colby introduced us to Hulk Hogan "hi" I smiled and shook his hand "hi nice to meet you...and how old are you?" He pointed to lilly "six!" "Wow that's pretty old your gonna be my age soon" she giggled and shook her head.

"what are you doing?" I asked as Colby cut the top and bottom of his shirt "I'm gonna rip my shirt" "oh my God" I laughed. "We're gonna sit away from Grandma we're gonna sit closer okay?" I told lilly moving some hair out of her face "okay we'll see Daddy better?" I nodded and smiled "I think you girls gotta go find seats you can watch the co main too" "okay baby say bye to dad we'll go" I said "bye Daddy love you!" He picked her up "love you," He kissed her cheeks "we'll get ice cream after alright" she nodded "okay!" He kissed her head "go wait outside babygirl"she went out the door. I wrapped my arms around his neck digging my head into the crook or his neck "your nervous?" He asked rubbing my back "of course I am Colby" "I'll be good mamas" I squeezed him a little tighter "your gonna do great" "yeah hey," he pulled away and cupped my face "no matter what I'll be good" I nodded "okay ... I love you" "love you too" he pecked my lips.

"Daddy might bleed a little okay? But he'll be okay he likes it" I said "he likes it?" I nodded "yeah!" I nodded "okay!...you sure?" I nodded "yeah I'm sure". Colby's song started to play Lilly stood on the chair to see the walk out "Lilly they'res people behind you" "she okay!" I look behind me to see Kamaru Usman "oh thanks Kamaru" I lightly smiled he did the same. He smiled at Lilly making her smile and wave to her dad I blew him a kiss.

I watch Colby walk to the back blood going down his face onto his body, Lilly was very upset "come on" I picked her up she laid her head on my shoulder, I ran into Colbys mom "you mind taking her i'm gonna go check on Colby and find him" she nodded and took her. "am um I'm looking for my husband Covington" I asked security "um yeah he's getting fixed up down the hall to the left" "thank you" I fast walked through the people to the room I opened the door and Colby was sat up talking to chael "hey babe..." he lightly smiled "i'll give you guys a minute" Chael said leaving I walked over to him rubbing one hand on his back the other lightly grabbing his chin looking at his eye "i'm okay....wheres lilly?" "with your mom," he nodded I pecked his lips "good job" I kissed his cheek wrapping my arms around his neck his went to my waist pushing me away slightly "i'm gonna get you dress bloody" "I don't care"he turned his head to the side laying the good side of his face on my shoulder "I'm good i'm good" "i'm so so proud of you Colby" "not bad right?" "not bad at all" I kissed his shoulder "I gotta go get my girl ice cream" he said pulling away I smiled and kissed him "okay lets get you showered first".

"come here sweet girl" he picked lily up after his shower and saying hi to the rest of the family "you okay?" she touched his cheek he nodded "yeah i'm okay" he kissed her cheek. "okay Lil's what flavor do you want?" he asked holding her "can I get strawberry?" "of course you can get strawberry...one strawberry and one mint chip mamas what do you want?" "can I have carmel please" I smiled to the lady behind the counter she nodded. Lilly sat across from us at the table eating away t her ice cream about to fall asleep, Colby was tired and beat down "col?" he looked to me "yeah?" "you can stop whenever you want" he bite his lip slightly "we're good I don't wait you to keep doing something you don't have a passion for" he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and brought my head to his chest "i'll think about it" he said against my hair "k I love you" he pecked my lips "love you too" qw heard a thud and Lilly jumped up "was that your head?" I asked "no" she lied "alright sleepy girl lets get back to the room" he went and picked her up.

#ufc #ufc x reader #colby covington x reader #Colby Covington imagine

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shinydixon · 2 years ago

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hey, i'm only here to praise you for how nice you treat us nonnies and to tell you what you do here is something really great. giving us a space even if it sometimes comes at your own expense because i know you get some nasty anons that you choose not to publish to try and keep this place intact. also here to say bye because i think it's finally happened, i think this fandom broke too many boundaries and went into a place that it's really hard to defend. i turned a blind eye with people weirdly wanting to desperately put joe in a box full of labels---they want him to be the good boy, the flawless guy, the softboy material, babygirl material, they want joe to be chaotic and wild and sexy and still never ever do anything wrong. not even get me started on the lack of respect to his own self. if he's cute with his guy friends, he's gay or bi. if he breathes around a girl, he's fucking her and is going to marry her. if he likes a song, it's totally about his co-star, if he seems tired, he hates his fans, if he ghosts some random girl he met at a bar while drunk and getting tequila for everyone, he's a player, if he acts like a human being who honestly just wants to have some fun once in a while, he's also a player. so like. this is hell. i turned a blind eye because, fuck, some really great people are here and i love steddie and both joes a lot. but nope. no no no. what finally made me want to just disappear from this fandom was the fact that people are freaking out about a PREQUEL book about eddie because he's not gay or bi (first of all, as a bi woman, that thought process irks me to no end. unless explicitly stated otherwise, eddie can be bi or he can be gay but hasn't figured things out yet. there are SO MANY OPTIONS but you guys jumped straight to 'of course they wouldn't make him gay or bi or pan'.) and he probably likes some random girl---like, it's a prequel. WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE BOOK. nothing said in the book will change how s4 went down. so that means that both hellcheer and steddie are safe in the sense that they'll remain untouched. eddie can fuck 10 different girls or guys in that damn book, it will NOT affect steddie. or hellcheer. use your heads people, c'mon. this fandom needs to fucking stop freaking out at every little thing or everybody will snap and leave too. if the thought of a prequel book that won't change the main storyline gives you panic attacks, then stop, take a breath, go outside. and shiny, this isn't about you, ok? i know you always take a moment to analyze things first before posting. but yeah, i'm a nobody and no one will miss me and this matters to no one, but i wanted to vent and say bye. i'll still follow steddie and the joes but i'm not in the fandom anymore. sometimes the drama is justified but lately it seems like every tiny thing creates this huge storm of pointless drama and it's starting to take a toll on me.

I'm so sorry you decided to go 😞

But you have to do what you feel it's better for you.

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imaginewarehouse · 2 years ago

Text

Tate Staskiewicz x Reader || Oneshot

Plot: Breaking up with your ill-conceived fuck buddy Tate turns out to be a lot harder then you had even anticipated. (Fuck buddies to lovers)

Warnings: Sexual references- Tate's a perv. We know this. Also unedited like usual.

🔆 🔆 🔆

"Ohh, man, you've gotta break up with him."

Cheyanne, a.k.a the only person who even knows about you and Tate, has told you this so many fricken times that you know she's about to say it just by looking at her. Like right now, as her lips press flat against her teeth and the bridge of her nose crinkles. "Man... "

"I know, I know... " Slumping in your seat, you nibble troubledly on the chicken tender impaled at the end of your fork. You made this chicken Caesar salad this morning, even fried up your own chicken tenders! It’s just like what you can buy at a Schnitz- but you can’t seem to stomach it. You've got things on your mind...

"He's just no good for you!!" Cheyanne insists, and of course you know that. You totally agree! Tate can’t make you really happy in the long run- eventually that egotistical schmuck and his irritatingly good face will get on your nerves more than he turns you on, and you'll end up resenting him. Or, he'll get tired of you and dump you... and your ego couldn't take that. "He's a 10, but he's an asshole Y/N. Just cuz he has a timeshare, and a good job- "

"Shh sh sh sh!!" You jump, straightening up and waiving at your friend to close her mouth. "Don't say that so loud! People will hear. There are eyes, and big fat mouths, everywhere... " Looking around, you land on Amy and Jonah not too far away and narrow your eyes at them until you've deciding they're too wrapped up in each other and didn't hear a thing.

Meanwhile Cheyanne sucks her lips into her mouth, trying not to giggle. "Sorry."

"That's okay. Anyway- " Giving a sigh, you drop your elbows on the table and hold your face in your hands with a pout. " You know I want to break up with him!... I just can’t... " And she knows why. He's too... too... Well he's just so damn hot, really! And the sex, is just- One look from him and your inhibitions are underground along with your dignity and your panties. You've never been with anyone that made you feel like this before! No one’s ever understood you so well... in that area...

"Y/N... " Cheyanne reaches over, then, and pats your shoulder reassuringly, nodding. "I promise you- There are bigger dicks out there."

"Cheyanne!!"

Later that day you and Cheyanne are allocated to the pharmacy to stock shelves, which is just perfect, because you've got Tate making just awful innuendos all the time and Cheyanne at the same shaking her head and mouthing 'No' at you all the time. It’s very stressful.

"Hey, you girl's doing alright over there?"

"Just keepin' our heads down and working, Tate, thanks again... " You sigh, not even looking back at him. You can imagine him just fine, after al. He's probably leaning forward on the desk, watching you with that smug smirk he's mastered, and- What does he think he's doing, calling you two 'girls'?? Well, Cheyanne maybe but you're a grown ass woman!-

"That menial labour's gotta suck, huh?" Ohh, he's trying to get under your nerves. He's really trying. That ass-

"Y/N," Cheyanne looks at you, sensing you're about to give him some kind of attention, and you take a deep breath. She's right, she's right, you think... Don't give him the satisfaction.

"All good," You respond curtly, shelving a few boxes a little bit rougher than necessary. "I'm doing fine."

"Yes you are," She assures, giving you the thumbs up. "But, uh, I gotta pee so... do you think you can finish this up without me??"

"Oh, uh," For a moment the thought of being left alone with Tate sounds like an awful idea- a recipe for disaster. But then you remember that it’s the middle of the day and customers are still around, along with co-workers here and there, so what do you have to worry about. You give Cheyanne a smile, and nod. "Yeah, no problem. See you later?"

"Yeah, bye!"

There are a few seconds of sweet silence after Cheyanne rushes off, but of course it can’t last forever.

"Finally." Tate pipes up once against, this time closer though you still don't look at him. He must have left the register. "Thought she'd never leave."

"Well, she was working, so... " You give a shrug, and continue your own work even as you can feel his gaze on your back and his presence close by. It’s like your body has a very annoying sensor designed specifically for Tate.

"Whatever." He quips, and you know he's about to go on- maybe suggest the two of you take your own break, but you whip around instead and square up to him; Wielding a scanner towards him like a knife.

... Which he seems to find quite amusing as he huffs out a chuckle and grins down at you, but you try to ignore that and muster all the forcefulness you can find in yourself when you speak. "Look, Tate. I do not want to sleep with you today- or any other day from this moment forth, in fact! So sorry, you are going to have to turn around, and return to your place behind the counter while I finish this shelving- silently. Got it??"

It doesn't even take him a moment to think about, he just gives an evil smirk. "So we're playing that game, are we?"

Your jaw drops. "- What!? No! We're not playing a game- I'm breaking up with you- "

"No problem, princess. Fine with me. Foreplay... I like it. Didn't think you had it in you, honestly, but I guess we're learning new things about each other all the time, huh?"

"No no, Tate- "

"Heh, see you around." Tate winks, hands buried in his coat pockets before turning his back on you and disappearing into the back of the pharmacy.

You're left with your eyes squinted and syncing feeling in your chest, as you realise how utterly badly that went. Slowly lowering the scanner to your side, you groan. "This is not going to be good... "

For the next couple of days, Tate doesn't reach out to you to hook up at all- no dirty texts in the middle of the work day, no secret codes in the breakroom, no turning up at your place at night. In fact your life would have been totally peaceful... if it weren't for the stuff he was doing to you instead.

Instead of those dirty texts, he would use your number to simply notify you on work stuff ('Hey Y/N, Amy needs you on Softline’s.', 'Y/N, I saw you go into Glenn's office- could you tell him I had a couple teenagers try to buy prescription only Anxiety meds?', 'Clean up on Aisle 15'). Instead of breakroom hook up codes, he'll loudly brag to other guys about sexual encounters between the two of you in detail (Without mentioning your name, of course) so you get all hot and bothered at the memories and the ridiculously vulgar language he uses to retell them. And instead of turning up at your house after work to fuck he brings dinner, and a movie, and you're sitting there on the couch beside him with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a glass of wine struggling to just not drag him to bed.

He's a sneaky, manipulative weasel and you are not enjoying it! You know exactly what he's doing- he wants you to initiate things with him, and so he's doing everything possible to make you want him while not directly asking you and it is so cruel. And immature. And successful.

Fuck that asshole- but not in the literal way because he would enjoy that too much.

So, you've been ignoring him as best you can through the week, chatting with Cheyanne about anything but him (Or sex in general), and absolutely throwing yourself into work so hard that Dina has been impressed with you. You've been exhausted, but least you've been too bone-tired to drag Tate anywhere over dinner at the end of the day.

As a matter of fact, you've been so worn out, you haven't realised that you and Tate are kind of... dating, at this point.

Today though, you're sent once again to work in the Pharmacy- but this time, you're alone. It’s a slow day and all Amy needs you to do there is keep things neat and occasionally help out a customer.

It has royally sucked.

"So, I was thinking we go see the new Halloween movie, tonight? Tickets on me, of course, all your money's gotta go to, like... food, and rent, and whatever else you poor people prioritise. You like those movies, don't you?"

"Do you like those movies?" You counter, leaning on the bench between you.

He shrugs. "Eh, I could take them or leave them.”

“Then why don’t we just go to your place and watch Cruel Intentions again? I’m down for that.” Were you surprised when you discovered that Cruel Intentions was Tate’s favourite movie? Not at all…

“… Alright. And I’ll make my dumplings?”

“Oh- I love those!” You exclaim, sincerely, watching him grin about it. You genuinely, genuinely love his dumplings. And tonight, you’re going to watch him make them- learn his secrets.

“I know.”

You roll your eyes, but grin too. “Oh you know??” Pft. “You’re so full of yourself.”

“Ehhhh I don’t think its full of myself when I really am amazing.” He smirks, rolling his shoulders and for a split second, you agree with him.

Before forcing that thought out of your mind and flicking at his nose. “That’s not how it works.”

“Awww, you two are so cute!” Suddenly the high pitched sound of Justine’s voice pierces your ears and the contents assaults your brain. What!? Is she talking about you two??? No way- “Like an old married couple.” She joins you by the register as you straighten up, and gasps. “Are you two dating??”

“Pfft, like hell.” You cross your arms.

“Justine, mind your own business.” Tate adds, monotonously, before he walks off into the back once again and you head for some out-of-place vapor rub, leaving Justine confused and alone.

Tate looked… effortlessly good, in the kitchen. You’re starting to think that the dumpling recipe is not worth the abject torture involved in watching the man cook and not being able to kiss him.

Well- to be fair- you could kiss him. He wants you to. But you aren’t giving him the satisfaction of giving up, and so you push that traitorous thought right out of your head. No.

“- No, the Joker would totally kick Lex Luther’s ass, man.” You insist, leaning your waist back into the bench beside the stove, where Tate stands over a hot pot with his shirt sleeves rolled up and tongues in his hand. Some of his hair is out of place, too, and it just looks way too good-

“There’s no way. Dr Lex Luther would absolutely defeat your hobo in a second. He’s got science on his side, you can’t- you can’t argue with that!” - Luckily, though, his opposing viewpoint right now is enough to turn you off.

“Oh yes I can. Joker would totally just overwhelm your guy!!”

“You’re a very illogical person,” Tate tells you then instead of arguing some more, smirking and shaking his head at the pot.

“Ha! You’ve just run out of arguments. Clearly, I win. So I get first dibs on dinner. I want… “Stepping in closer to him, maybe too close, as he puts his hand on the bottom of your back for the time that you stand there, you peer into the pot and the bubbling water to see the almost-done dumplings and give a thoughtful hum. “… those 3 over there.”

“Sure,” He shakes his head again, and you doubt his sincerity but can’t find yourself minding too much as you remove yourself from his space again. Maybe that was a bad idea, because now your heart’s thumping.

Quickly you point towards the livin groom, where you’ll be eating tonight in front of the TV- like usual. “… um. I’m gonna go set the coffee table. Call when the dinner is, uh, done.” Then you’re out of that kitchen like a bat out of hell, thinking close one, close one, close one… and hoping your heart stops beating quite so erratically- soon.

As you que up the movie, you’re thinking… what in the world is happening?? Suddenly the realisation of what this whole week has been… is starting to catch up with you now. One back touch and its all falling apart. What the hell?!

This was a game, wasn’t it?? At least according to Tate. But now you’re chatting about date night at work with him, and cooking dinner with him, and getting called cute by Justine and-

Its like you’re together, almost. Or entirely actually. Like a couple. You, and Tate.

The thought is jarring, and not fully unpleasant, but… Your heart gives a little, terrible thud that you wish you could deny. But, this was a game to him.

This has all been nothing more to him than teasing. Just this morning, you heard him telling Marcus and Isaac loud and clear about the ‘lay’ he had a couple of weeks ago- when he ‘folded’ you ‘like goddamn pretzel’. He’s still playing like you’re a twisted little fuck; A secret he likes to mess with.

The thought, oddly, hurts.

You’ve been kind of quiet for most of the movie, rotating between watching the screen and turning to glare at Tate. You’re thinking, or hoping, that your feelings right now are just your fucked up monkey brain messing with you- making you think you feel more for a hot guy then you do in actuality, so that you give in and fuck him and have strong Tate babies.

Yeah, that’s gotta be it.

So, maybe if you do give in- these feelings will go away.

Turning back to look at Tate, you frown. You could give up your dignity for that, you decide. You certainly can’t live like this!- In love with Tate of all people!

So, taking a deep breath through your nose, you reach over and tug at his shirt to get his attention. When he looks over at you, you gaze at him from beneath your eyelids, lust boiling over heavily in your eyes despite the logic that has lead you here- to this mortifying submission. “… Come on.”

“Oh, where?~ “ A dirty smirk spreads across his face immediately, to which you just get up from the couch and head towards the stairs.

Giving a great sigh, you give in. “Oh, just take off your pants, would you? And shut up.”

“Hm.”

In the morning, you wake up slowly and crack your eyes open gently… to find an empty bed. Of course. You roll your eyes, and force yourself to sit up. Of course.

For a few moments you stay very still, searching around yourself for the feelings you were hoping would go away after a night of ridiculously hot sex with the narcissistic pharmacist. Are they still there, or?...

When the little creeping feelings start to swim around again, you drop your face into your hands.

Because, fuck- you have feelings for Tate.

And he doesn’t have feelings for you.

“… son of a bitch.”

“What’s that?” You jump and look up, when suddenly Tate appears in the doorway, your eyes wide at him.

Shocked, you actually sputter as you watch him round the bed to the side he slept on with a tray, which he sets between the two of you. “What- what are you still doing here???”

“Still? Pft, I left earlier. Had to hit to grocery store and get some food, because you have nothing. Can’t really blame you, though, with that low salary that you earn… ”

“No no,” You stop him with a hand on his arm, and clarify what you meant; Heart absolutely hammering in your chest. “I meant- you’re never here when I wake up. So why… what is this??”

“Breakfast,” He quips promptly, and unhelpfully. “What’s it look like?”

“I… “Speechless and partly alarmed, you just shake your head.

“Look,” He starts again, thank god and picks out a blueberry from the bowl of fruit salad on the platter, beside the eggs and bacon and pancakes. “I realise, we aren’t really a couple. But I think we should change that.”

Your jaw drops. He’s so blunt! Wait, why are you surprised? This used to be an unattractive quality that you dwelled on often- “T- “

“Hold on, let me finish.” Deadpanning, you close your mouth. You thought he was finished, with the stopping and all… “I think we have chemistry, we’re good together. You have a decent taste in movies and, heh, the sex is fucking great. I wanna see how this goes.”

“You done?”

“Not yet. Question- are you up for bondage?” He asks slowly, but you just shake your head of that for now.

“… So you’re saying that you wanna be my boyfriend??”

“Depends.” A familiar, dirty smirk flickers at his face then. “What’s your answer on that second front?”

Good lord, man, focus. “Tate- are you asking to be in a relationship with me?”

“… Yeah.” Giving a shrug, his smirk morphs into something akin to cute, maybe sweet, and goddamnit your heart flutters. Fuck this man. This stupid, self-absorbed, horny man. “What do you say?”

Taking in a quick deep breath, you offer up your wrists because you don’t even need to think about it. “Tie me up.”

#Superstore #Superstore x Reader #Tate Staskiewicz x Reader #Tate Staskiewicz x Reader Oneshot #Oneshot #Tate Staskiewicz #Superstore Tate

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