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sxfterhearts · 9 months ago

Text

full of you(r love)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ softdom!jiung x little girl!reader ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

♡ genre/warnings: smut (18+ mdni nsfw), unprotected sex, dd/lg themes, mention of safeword (but not used), emotional sex (is this a warning?), porn with a lot of plot

♡ word count: 3,550 words

♡ author's note: i'm scared cos this fic i've been working on for the past month is going out into the world.. pls be kind im a fluff writer with no smut experience but choi jiung made me write this?!???! dedicating this fic to all my lovely tumblr moots and anons who encouraged me throughout this process, and especially @348kg (this fic wouldnt exist without u) and @kisseobie (ur my inspiration rosa) <333 fr smut writers yall are elite u have my respect omfg

“Yeah? Are you sure, eomma? I think it’s looking a little too red… Oh wait,” Jiung paused mid-sentence, lips lifting automatically into a smile as he heard the familiar chime of the keypad code being punched into the door. You were home, finally. “Y/N’s home. Yeah, mhmm… Okay, I’ll tell her that. Yup, okay… Yeah, one spoon, got it. Thank you so much! Mhmm, I’m hanging up. Okay, love you too, bye!”

He turned around, placing his red phone in the pocket of his apron, a gift you got him when he declared he wanted to learn how to cook better meals. Jiung turned the fire down to a low simmer, but not before inhaling the fragrant aroma of his own home cooking. Smiling proudly, he wiped his hands on the apron and made his way towards the entrance of your shared apartment. “Y/N! You’re back.”

The smile was promptly wiped off his face when he saw your dishevelled figure at the doorway, struggling to peel your goddamned heels off your sore feet. The hair that you usually wore up in a ponytail was hanging towards the floor in a frizzy black mop. You bore such a close resemblance to the female ghosts in those old-school horror movies that Jiung nearly jumped in fright.

“Hey, let me.” He called out softly, crouching down to undo the straps of your heels and peel your bag off your tired shoulders, before carefully placing the shoes back on the shelves.

“Jiung…” You mumbled, voice small and tired. You huffed out a deep sigh. “I had the worst day ever, I’m not even joking.”

Jiung looked at you and took you in, like really took in your entire being, and realised that he had not seen you in such a state for a while. “Yeah?” He smiled sympathetically, arms coming to wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against him and guiding your heavy head to rest against his broad shoulders. His palm cradled the back of your head, smoothing down your hair and pressing his lips against your temples in greeting.

“Yeah, my stupid manager doesn’t understand that I can’t deliver the same results because we are literally one man down. What am I supposed to do when the other manager is on leave for a whole month? Why doesn’t he understand that I can’t train my staff and lead the project at the same time? It’s so frustrating. And whenever I try to voice out my concerns, it’s like he’s deaf or something, I swear…” You grumbled angrily.

“Hmm,” Jiung hummed, listening intently. “It does sound like a really tough day, baby. But you know what will make it better?”

“Hmm?”

“I made you dinner.”

As if on cue, Jiung felt, rather than heard, your stomach grumble, signalling your hunger. His brows scrunched up as he asked, yet fearing the answer altogether, “When was the last time you ate, Y/N?”

You went silent.

Jiung sighed, shaking his head. “C’mon, silly girl. I made your favourite. It’s my mum’s recipe too. Just sit and I’ll get it ready for you.”

It was your turn to shake your head this time. “No, your baby wants hugs.” You insisted childishly, your cool, strict manager facade from work disappearing the moment you were in the presence of your boyfriend of four years. You pouted and hugged him tighter, absolutely refusing to budge.

Jiung laughed, finding your current state endearing. He knew it was because you were so tired and worn out, and decided to make the most of the opportunity. “Fine, it’s up to you. You are my baby, after all…”

As the night wore on, you refused to leave his side for even a moment, sticking to Jiung like a koala clung to a tree. You insisted on hugging him from behind as he scooped the kimchi jjigae into two separate bowls, topping them with spring onions and a teaspoon of sesame oil each and serving them up with bowls of steaming, multigrain rice. You held on tight as you sat on his lap at the dining table, limbs intertwining with his as you begged him to feed you instead, feeling ‘too tired’ all of a sudden to even lift a spoon because of the rough work day. You even grasped the hem of his white, paper thin t-shirt desperately when he so much as got up to grab more side dishes from the fridge, insisting that he let you stay like this for longer because you missed him way too much.

“Baby…” Jiung cooed, repositioning his big hands on your hips, reaching under your tight work blouse to caress your soft skin and leaving goosebumps in its wake. “What is it? I know you’ve had a hard time today, but you’re very clingy.” He lightly teased, eyes downcast as he looked at you with feigned suspicion. In reality, after being together for so long, it wasn’t hard for Jiung to know your true intentions.

You refused to meet his eyes, pretending to pay him no mind as you chewed on the last mouthful of rice, all while twirling the strings of his apron around your fingers.

“Babe…”

“Hmm?”

“Are you going to be a good girl and use your words? Hmm?” He prompted, voice turning slightly harder.

When you failed to respond, Jiung used his long, slim fingers to tilt your chin towards him and hold it there. “Words, baby. I need you to say something, okay?”

Your desperate, pleading eyes met his unwavering gaze, and you felt your body shiver at the intensity behind it. “Yeah…” You whispered, suddenly feeling small.

“What do you need… Can you tell me?” Jiung pressed on, yet his eyes caught sight of a stray piece of rice lingering on the corner of your lips. He moved his thumb towards the rice and both of you followed his movement. As though in slow motion, your tongue darted out to lick his finger – shy, like a kitten. When you noticed that he didn’t respond, and just tracked your next move with the eyes of a hawk, you daringly relaxed your jaw and sucked it into your wet, warm mouth.

Jiung felt his cock stir under two layers of clothing and your plush ass.

You saw how his pupils blew out. Feeling satisfied with the effect you had on him, you released his thumb with a loud pop. “Jiung, can you take care of me tonight, please?” You asked shyly, batting your eyelashes. The stark contrast between the lewd request and your bashful tone made your boyfriend’s head spin.

Behind closed doors, you were completely comfortable with Jiung taking full control and treating you like his baby girl. Tonight was no different. It wasn’t often that you got the opportunity to take things all the way. In fact, you struggled to even remember when was the last time Jiung even called you his baby. Especially not since you started on this project, which has been the cause of all your grievances in the past three months.

But tonight, you were determined to break the drought. Something within you snapped this afternoon when your boss made a big show of throwing your report in the trash whilst yelling colourful profanities in front of the entire team. It was the last straw after a series of small, seemingly insignificant inconveniences that eventually snowballed. You felt like a pressure cooker, finally exploding at your incompetent boss.

The entire torment drained you so much that truthfully, you really didn’t want to do anything for yourself anymore. Sure, you could feed yourself, and sure, you could sit upright on your own, but you really appreciated that since stepping foot into the apartment, Jiung had taken care of everything – from removing your shoes, to making sure you were fed and comfortable. You didn’t even need to think; you just trusted and knew that he would shut your brain down and handle everything for you.

Being someone who was naturally independent and strong-headed in the workplace, you knew that anyone who found out you acted like this with your boyfriend would hang their jaws in utter disbelief. Yet here you were, being carried to the sofa by Jiung as you nibbled on his neck in fervour.

“You sure you want this tonight, baby?” Jiung sat you down and kneeled at eye-level in front of you to ask, all serious and concerned. But his mind was slowly getting clouded as your teeth sunk into a soft spot close to his earlobes, sucking greedily. “There’s no turning back for you if you say yes, and…” He paused to take a breath, letting his responsibility over you rise up to the surface. “I will take care of you as always, but you’re in quite a state now, and I don’t want to risk you having a bad time.”

Jiung felt you nod wordlessly in response, but it wasn’t enough for him. The soft dom inside of him was screaming for your verbal consent. “Baby, if you don’t tell me our safe word now, I’m going to have to stop, okay?” He warned, using the tone you registered as being slightly stern when you descended into your little persona.

“Blue,” You muttered directly into his ears. You rubbed your thighs together involuntarily. Truthfully, you had been thinking about this since you were in the office, and you weren’t sure if you could hold it in any longer. “It’s blue, please… I thought about this at work…” Your lips moved closer and captured his earlobe, sucking on it in a silent attempt to speed things up.

Shit shit shit – Jiung could only let out a choked hum as you attacked his sensitive spot. He knew that even though you were his little girl, deep down you were still a vixen begging and yearning to be fucked, and he knew you knew all the right buttons to push to get what you wanted.

He was never very good at denying you, anyway. Jiung spoiled you rotten, he thought, as he pulled you away from him. “Sit up for me, baby. I want you to be a good girl for me and suck my cock first. Can you do that?”

You nodded way too eagerly, eyes shining and lips parted as you looked up at him, waiting for Jiung to rid himself of his sweats and boxers, all in one go. You felt saliva pool in the back of your throat as you finally caught sight of the main prize. Jiung was not extremely long or girthy, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, as your clammy fingers wrapped around what was undoubtedly the most perfect cock you’ve ever seen. You liked how your small fingers struggled slightly to wrap all the way around, forcing you to use both hands as you guided the swollen tip towards your waiting mouth. Greedy, your tongue peeked out to sneak a taste of his glistening pre-cum.

Giggling, you hummed to yourself in satisfaction before letting a comment slip, “It’s nice…”

Jiung was halfway to losing his mind but couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. You were, after all, his adorable, precious girl. “Well,” He placed an encouraging hand on your cheek, “I’m glad you think so.”

You nodded in agreement, letting your hands wander across his midriff, fingers ghosting over the black butterflies peeking through his thin shirt. He helped you by raising the shirt and capturing the hem between his teeth, skin tingling with excitement as you licked every tattoo on his upper body with your slick, hot tongue.

Once you were satisfied, you finally allowed yourself to indulge in his intoxicating scent. Mirroring your earlier actions, you let Jiung into your welcoming mouth, quickly sucking and swirling your tongue around his length at a steady pace. Instantly, he released the shirt from his lips and let out a long moan.

Hearing his noises only spurred you on further. Determined, one hand reached underneath to massage his balls while the other fisted the rest of his uncovered length, doing everything at once – a three-in-one, if you will, in the hopes of driving Jiung absolutely insane.

“Baby… Fuck, how are you so good at this?” He grunted. “Who taught you to be this good, hmm?”

You tried to answer with an excited “You!” but seemed to have forgotten about the dick in your mouth, making you cough and sputter before swallowing even more of him in. Jiung had to forcefully grip your hair into a ponytail to keep himself in check, fighting the primitive urge to continue choking you with his thick cock.

But why did he want to fight, you wondered? You recovered from the slip up like a champ, quickly relaxing your throat muscles to take in more of his length until both of you groaned at the impact of his tip kissing the back of your throat. You gagged, feeling your pussy leak and clench around nothing.

Jiung wasn’t faring any better as he screwed his eyes shut, groaning deeply. He lost partial control of his lower body as he rutted against that same spot again and again, selfishly hoping that you would gag on his cock over and over. “Ah, your mouth is so perfect for me…”

Your pussy pulsed at the praise, always a sucker for pleasing your boyfriend both in and outside of the bedroom. You wanted him to use you until he was painting ropes of white sticky hot cum on your face, but it seemed like he had other plans, suddenly yanking your face away from his pulsing, red cock.

You just stared at him, mouth agape in shock at the abrupt stop.

The next thing you knew, you were being carried bridal style towards the bedroom. Jiung set you down gently in the middle of the bed, amongst a small army of your favourite plushies. He fluffed the pillows under your head, arranged your body in a comfortable position below him and tucked a lock of hair behind your ears.

“Hey,” He breathed, nose bumping against yours. “Just checking in, how are you feeling?”

At that, you felt hot tears prickle in the corner of your eyes. How did you ever get so lucky to land someone like him? He was always so sweet and caring with you. Overwhelmed, you could only nod, feeling a flurry of emotions bubble up to the surface.

“Hey, hey, baby…” Jiung’s finger captured a stray tear, concerned. “Do you want to keep going? You know we can stop at any time.”

You nodded in affirmation, looking up at him with pleading, sparkling eyes. At that moment, Jiung thought you had never looked so devastatingly beautiful. He swore to himself that he would always be your lover, and your protector.

“I’ll be gentle with you, I promise.”

And you believed Jiung with your whole heart. You closed your eyes and felt him kiss away your tears as his fingers slowly unbuttoned your blouse. Little by little, your stress and worries melted away with the feathery touch of his lips against your exposed skin. He pressed open-mouth kisses trailing from the top of your bra to your navel, swiftly pulling down your slacks, leaving you in your underwear. Somehow, while you were losing yourself to the sensations, Jiung managed to pull your favourite pair of frilly, knee high socks over your legs. Partly because he knew your feet get cold easily, but mostly because he liked how they hugged your thighs.

“My sweet girl…” Jiung pressed a thumb to your white-ribboned panties, feeling a wet spot at your centre. His breath caught in his throat at your leaking arousal.

You could only whine, hips pressing against his palm in search of more friction.

Jiung got the message, undoing your bra then pulling down your panties in quick succession, leaving you bare for him. “So perfect,” he whispered to himself more than anything, blood rushing to his hardened length. His mouth latched onto your left nipple as he rolled the right one between eager fingers.

“Jiung…” You sighed, pleasure coursing through your veins like an electric shock. “Please…”

After a harsh suck, he released your nipple with a loud pop. “Please what, baby?”

“Please, I want you inside…” You whined, greedy for more.

“Baby, I need to prep you first.” He thumbed the entrance of your sweet hole, gathering your slick before swiftly pushing inside.

You huffed, shaking your head. One finger was not enough anymore. “Want you inside now, please!”

Jiung’s cock twitched at your words. “But it’ll hurt –”

“I want it to, please! I just want to feel you deep inside,” You were desperate at this point, begging him to fill you up. “Thought about this all day!”

Jiung cursed under his breath, turned on beyond belief at your eagerness. What his baby wants, his baby gets.

He slowly eased his hard length past the walls of your pussy, the glide aided by a mix of your saliva from earlier and your wet juices. Then, with one quick thrust, he slammed all the way in, the curved tip of his cock kissing your cervix. The two of you moaned out in unison, relieved to finally be back home in each other’s bodies.

“Missed this…” Jiung was struggling to get the words out. It had been too long since you were last intimate and he forgot how tight your little cunt was. “Miss feeling you around me.”

You could only moan pathetically in response, eyes rolled back in pure pleasure. You felt so full of him, and so full of his love for you.

Jiung waited patiently for you to adjust to his size, all while pressing tender kisses along your jaw, and lightly rubbing the cool tip of his nose against your rosy cheeks.

He caged you in with his arms, and rested his warm forehead against yours. You basked in his hot breaths fanning across your flushed cheeks as your pussy clenched and unclenched to adjust to his size. You craned your neck upwards, and Jiung understood you immediately, devouring your lips in a slow and passionate kiss. Your tongues tangled in a fiery dance whilst all your thoughts melted away. Your anxious brain was calm once more, as you surrendered your body and mind entirely to Jiung.

“Ready?” He asked, thumbs rubbing circular patterns against your waist.

You hummed, hips rolling up in search of friction. Jiung got the message, and pulled out gently before thrusting in deep. “God, Y/N… You’re so perfect for me, so good.”

He was making love to you – there was no doubt about it. Anyone could tell, from the way he rocked his hips with conviction, to the way his eyebrows scrunched in concentration, determined to make you feel good. Jiung was a passionate lover. And with each thrust, he replaced the hurt and frustration with love and blissful pleasure.

You were so lost in it; in him, and the way that he made you feel like you were floating on cloud nine. It was just you and him, and nothing else. It was such a relief to be treated like this by someone who loved you as much as Jiung did. Your lips, which were permanently casted into a frown throughout the work day, worked itself into a soft smile. You closed your eyes and just allowed the pleasure to course through your entire body.

Jiung, noticing that you were getting lost in the moment, helped to gather your legs and wrap them around his waist for you. He held them there, enjoying the slight burn as the fabric of your socks rubbed against his back. That way, he could make sure your bodies were impossibly close.

“You okay?” Jiung breathed, nudging your cheeks with his before pressing his lips on your forehead.

You could only moan in response, clenching your walls every single time he thrusted into you. The new angle allowed him to thrust even deeper, and that combined with the way his fingers played with your clit, had you inching closer and closer to your sweet release.

“Jiung – Ah! Close…”

He kept hitting that spot inside of you that made you see stars, while his fingers picked up speed. You could feel yourself tethering at the edge of the precipice. All it took was a –

“I love you, baby, no matter what, I love you more than you know…” Jiung professed his love before pressing his lips to yours for the nth time that night. “Yeah, that’s it. I gotchu, you’re safe with me.” That was more than enough to bring you over the edge.

Your velvety walls clenched around him so tight that he quickly followed, panting heavily as he filled you up to the brim with his cum.

epilogue.

As you basked in the afterglow of your climaxes, you felt Jiung littering kisses all over your face, and giggled.

“How was it?” He asked jokingly.

“Hmm…” You pretended to think about it with your eyes closed, making both of you laugh. “Thank you, really. It was just what I needed.”

“What can I say? I’m the perfect boyfriend.”

“You really are, Choi Jiung. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

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amirasainz · 11 months ago

Note

Could you do an Amira and lance or Pierre story where they take us on vacation and no one knows where we went till we post something and all of them start freaking out and calling Amira

Guess who's back? My request are OPEN. Enjoy reading.

-XoXo

No Part 2!!!

Hiding the princess

"Ohhh, Pierre. It's so beautiful here. Gracias, mi cielo" Amira said to him. While Amira was admiring the breath-taking view from their balcony suite, Pierre was busy starring at his girl. She looked like a goddess, with her hair blowing in the wind and the lights reflecting in her eyes.

He went up behind her, hugging her tightly against his body. He hooked his chin over her shoulder, kissing her temple lovingly. "Only the best for you, ma belle." His whisper made her shiver, making her search more for his body heat.

Their romantic moment got interrupted by one of their phones buzzing. "Don't worry. I got it." he told her before she could move a finger. After kissing her cheek once more, he went inside their suite, finding Amiras phone lighting up from another message. On a closer look, Pierre could see that Carlos had been messaging Amira frantically.

To be honest, Pierre didn't leave Amira any time to inform anyone about their "spontaneous" travel. The past few weeks, the drivers and WAGS had been hogging Amira, leaving them without any time for themselves. So Pierre decided to take her away to Dubai, making her pack her luggage 2 hours before their private flight.

During their whole flight, Pierre was busy feeding Amira cherries while she tried to guess their travel destination. After 3 hours of flying, Pierre made her lie on top of him so she could rest after her exhausting packing. Pierre cherished every moment, making sure she was always in his arms, keeping her warm and safe.

Pierre wished he was able to frame the moment she recognised the beautiful city lights of Dubai. Amira once mentioned that she always wanted to visit the city. She wanted to spend her time in the dessert or in the luxury shopping centers. And who was Pierre to deny her such wish. The perfect opportunity presented after not being able to spend some time alone , just the two of them.

Till the day he died, Pierre would deny that seeing the thousand of messages Carlos send Amira in the past 7 hours made him nervous. For the love of god, he is 27 years old. Such thing like big, older, overprotective brothers didn't make Pierre break out in a sweat anymore. The Frenchman knew that he couldn't just leave the messages unanswered. He opened the Chat between the two Sainz siblings and wrote something along the lines of "Oh, I'm sorry for not answering sooner. I'm just so tired and I will go to sleep now. Bye-Bye <3". Before he could second guess himself. Pierre was brought out from his overthinking.

"Pierre, are you ok?" asked the sweet voice of his beautiful angel. "Of course, ma belle. I was just grabbing you a jacket" he answered. He quickly turned of her phone and grabbed his oversized beige jacket. He immediately wrapped her up, making sure that she was protected from the wind. "Oh, but I'm not even co-." Before she could finish her sentences he kissed her quickly.

Pierre wouldn't let anyone take her attention during their romantic get-away. Thru ought the week, he made sure to keep her busy. Pierre took her shopping, bought her the finest jewelerry. He had a SPA day with her, so she could relax from their hectic shopping day. The rest of the week they either went in the dessert, to the beach or did more shopping. Pierre made sure that they spent every second together. Safe to say that Amira wasn't able to respond to ay of her messages.

@ pierregasly just posted

Liked by charlesleclerc, lilyminuhe, georgerussell and 7 894 519 others

Spending the week with the most beautiful girl in the world @amirasainz <3

Comments:

@carlossainzjr cabron what is this?

@carlossainzjr Pierre Gasly, you better answer me right now

@carlossainzjr When I catch you Gasly, you're dead

@ charlesleclerc What the fuck? I thought we were friends

@ landonorris YOU CAN'T JUST HIDE HER FROM THE REST OF US!!!!!

@ oscarpiastri I will crash into you next race

@ maxverstappen you better hide

@ carmenmundt who do you think you are, hiding my girl from me?!

@ amirasainz <3

@ pierregasly BABY!!!! <3

Bonus(+)

In the tense atmosphere, Carlos muttered to himself, pacing back and forth in front of the other drivers. Three days had passed without any word from precious Amira, and concern had escalated. They hastily convened an impromptu drivers’ meeting, their minds racing with worry. On the whiteboard, various theories about her whereabouts were scribbled.

Just as Lando was about to share another idea, the door swung open. Charles stood there, his chest heaving. Startled, all the drivers rose from their seats. Max managed to ask, “Charles, what—”

Before anyone could respond, Charles turned toward them, tears glistening in his eyes. His voice trembled as he held up his phone, revealing an Instagram post from Pierre. The room erupted into chaos as everyone tried to make sense of the situation

Charles burst into tears, while Max threw some pillows at the wall. George and Alex were busy stalking the post. Oscar tried his best to help Lando regulate his breathing, while trying to keep the anger in himself. The chaos stopped when Carlos walked towards the door, muttering under his breath: "He's dead. He is so dead."

#formula 1 #baby!sainz!sister #amira sainz #pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly #formula 1 x reader #dubai #lando norris x reader #charles leclerc x reader #carlos sainz x sister!reader #george russell x reader #alex albon x reader #oscar piastri x reader #max verstappen x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #dubailife

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lvrsparadise · 2 years ago

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'JEALOUS' - M.S

Synopsis - She's always liked him.

Warnings! - Profanity, kissing, reader being jealous, Matt n reader being cute, fluff

A/N - Okay. I want to kms because I had originally written out something so beautiful for this. And then I accidently deleted something, and I forgot that if I press control z it ERASES THE WHOLE DAMN THING! So, this is a re-write. Enjoy!

Work was so tiring. I got cut from the floor at 7 instead of 9, when I was supposed to get off, because I had no tables. I made barely $40 in tips. And not to mention the weird drunk creep who kept asking my co-workers and I, very uncomfortable questions. I sigh as I clock out of the system and grabbing my stuff before saying bye to my co-workers.

I walk out the back to my car. I open the driver door and throw my stuff in the passenger seat. I just sit there and recollect myself before I put the key in the ignition, turning on the car.

Thee drive back to my house was quiet. I didn't have the radio on, I didn't have the windows down. I wasn't even on the phone with anybody. Today was that stressful.

'I'm going to have to ask my maneger for more hours next shift.'

I pull into my driveway and grab my stuff, turning off the car and walking to my front door. I open it and am immediately bombarded by my puppy, Sam, and my cat Mr. Murray.

I set my stuff down on the couch before walking upstairs to my room. I get undressed and hop in the shower. After my very refreshing shower, I throw on some comfier clothes - a pair of pink and black plaid pajama pants, a white tank top, and one of Matt's hoodies he left over.

I flop on my bed with a sigh. I sit up and open my phone, opening my messages app before clicking on Matt's contact. Matt is my brother's best friend. Well, actually, Chris is my brother's best friend, but I learned that they're a package deal. Get one, get all.

1 ring. 2 rings.

"Hey. Everything alright?"

I breathe out a small sigh of relief at the sound of his voice.

"Hey. Yeah, no everything's fine. I've just had a stressful day and I was wondering if we could go for like a drive or something?"

"Yeah, no that's fine. I'll be over in 10."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Always."

That's the last thing I hear before the line goes dead. Knowing he's going to be here in less than 10 minutes, I slip on my converse and head downstairs.

I love on and play with Sam and Mr. Murray for about 5 or 6 minutes before I hear a car pull in my driveway. I instantly recognize it as Matt's car. I grab my wallet, just in case, my keys, and my phone, placing all of them in the pocket of the hoodie. I hear a knock at my door and Sam barks. I yell out his name to get him to stop barking as I open the door.

There he is. Looking perfect as ever. Even in sweats and a hoodie. He's wearing that damn smile. One I return gratefully.

"You ready?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

I close my door behind me as I walk out, locking it as well before I walk over to the passenger side of the car. I get in and so does Matt. He pulls out of my driveway and starts driving around with no destination.

"How was your day? Why was it stressful?" He turns is head towards me as we're at a red light.

"Well, I got cut from the floor early because we were dead, and I had no tables. I made barely $40 in tips. I also had to work with that one girl I told you about. She made the day ten times worse. And this morning, Sam thought it would be nice to wake me up with a surprise next to my bed." I rest my elbow on the center console, resting my chin on my hand as I look out the window.

"Yikes." I hear him say as the light finally turns green and we start driving again.

"What about you? Anything fun happen?"

"Chris almost like, broke the ceiling in the warehouse."

"How in the hell?"

"I have no idea; I wasn't around when it happened. But Nick was and he kept making jokes about it reminding Chris that he did it. It was hilarious." He chuckles quietly.

"I bet."

"Oh shit."

"Hmm?" I turn my head towards him, his gaze switching between the road and the dashboard behind the steering wheel.

"I'm almost out of gas. I think I have enough to get us to that 7-11." He jerks his chin towards a 7-11 that's not too far. It's dark out, not many cars are on the road, the gas station seems empty.

He pulls into the gas station, pulling up to a gas pump. He turns the car off after rolling down the windows a little bit. He gets out and walks over to the pump, which is next to me because for some reason, the gas tank is on the right side of his car instead of the left. So, as he fills the tank up, he's also leaning on my window, talking to me.

"Did anything interesting happen in your day though?"

"Um, let's see. Oh, there was this older gentleman who tipped me $25 for being the best server he's had. He was celebrating his anniversary, but he said that his wife had passed away a few years ago. So, every year on their anniversary, he goes out and gets himself a meal. It was so sweet, it almost made me cry."

"Wow. That does sound swe-"

He's cut off by a girl walking up to him, looking to be around our ages, maybe a year or so older. She's talking with hi and flirting with him. I feel my blood run cold with jealousy at the realization she's flirting. Matt's hand is like holding onto the window, his hand partially in the car. I take advantage of that and I somewhat intwine our fingers, my own mindlessly playing with his.

Either she can't see me through the somewhat tinted windows, or is openly ignoring my presence, she asks him out to dinner. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes mine back. I hear him say 'Oh, I can't sorry. My girl is in the car' and my heart skips a beat. Multiple beats actually.

He finishes filling most of his tank and pays before walking over to the driver's side as quick as he can speed walk without running. He turns the car on at lightning speed. He starts to drive off to my house.

The drive is silent. Other than the really quiet hum f whatever is on the radio, there is not a peep coming from either of us.

About halfway through the drive back to my house, he reaches his right hand over the center console and grabs my left hand, interlocking our hands before resting them on his thigh. My chest is filled with butterflies. My head is empty. I feel my face heat up as I turn to look out the window next to me.

We pull up to my house. As soon as he puts the car in park, I'm out the car and making a b-line for my front door, unlocking it in record time. I didn't realize Matt was hot on my heels until I turn to close the front door, his hand stopping it. I sigh in defeat knowing I won't win. He pushes the door open and then walks in, closing it behind him.

"Were you jealous?"

"What? I have no Idea what you're talking about Matt." I place my wallet and keys on a table I have next to the door for that reason. Of course, I was jealous, but I would never admit it out loud. Especially to the guy I was getting jealous about.

He shakes his head and crosses his arms "Wrong. Were you jealous?"

I roll my eyes slightly "Matt- I don't get why you're asking me this. It would be the same if it were me-"

"No, it wouldn't."

"Wha-"

"A guy touches you? Jealous. A guy flirts with you? Jealous. Takes you on a date? Kisses you? I'm jealous. I'm jealous as hell. How have you not known? I'm not very secretive about it at all. Now I'm going to ask you one last time. Were you jealous?" His voice, despite being stern and angry, it still is soft and kind.

I sigh in defeat, crossing my own arms, mirroring his pose. "Yeah. I was. I was very jealous."

There is nothing said after that. And there doesn't need to be. Next thing I know, I'm being softly pinned against the wall and Matt's hands are on me. One on my cheek and the other on my waist. I try to look at the hand on my waist but the hand on my face makes me look into his eyes. He doesn't say much, but words aren't necessary right now. He leans in and kisses me.

The kiss is soft, tender, sweet, and everything a hopeless romantic like myself could ever want. I entangle my hands in his hair, closing whatever space was between us.

After what felt like hours, but was really 20 seconds, we pull back for air. Both of us are panting.

"I'm taking you out Friday. 6:00. I pick you up, with flowers, take you to dinner, then I take you to a 7:00 movie, then we walk on the beach before I take you back home and kiss you goodnight. How does that sound?"

Although my eyes are still closed, I hear the smile in his voice, and at his words I can't hold back a smile of my own. I open my eyes and look into his beautiful blue ones that look like they're the ocean. I swear I get lost in them for a few seconds before replying.

"That sounds perfect."

I don't have a taglist for the Sturniolos!

If you want to be in it, all you have to do is ask! <3

I love all of y'all!

#l writes!#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #sturniolo triplets #wow didnt know i had that in me #props to a tiktok lady for giving me the idea #wow im tired

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valuunit · 23 days ago

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summary: i don’t know what im doing, i have free time and craving a good old fashioned fanfic with a love corner 🤓

Content: She/her pronouns. situationship, confusing feelings, smut (mdi), alcohol consumption, hand job, spit, angst(?)

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if there's any mistake I'm sorry, please let me know so i can correct it :D

I don’t know how it happened but this has become a series: part two.

“Thank you very much guys. It’s been really nice having you in the show.” a thick german accent thanks me and my co-star.

“No, thank you for having us tonight, it was really fun.” says Sam. I simply nod, wanting to go to my changing room and take of this ginormous fake lashes.

I follow one of the staff members, Hannah, to my room. “Hey, slow down there.” Sam Claflin says chuckling “Wanted to say bye by any chance?”

“Actually no.” i say playing. I reach to his cheek and kiss him goodbye, this was our last press interview to promote the movie, it was a nice ride. “Loved working with you, hope i didn’t tired you as much as you tired me.”

“Of course you did, Y/n/n. But actually wasn’t that bad. See you later?” i nod, from here we weren’t seeing each other for a couple of months until the premiere, he will go visit some family and i…

“See you.” i smile. I enter to my dressing room, there’s barely anything, just a chair with my other clothes, a small mirror with a shelf as a table underneath it and an empty closet.

As an instinct i check my phone, it’s been two hours since i saw it. three messages instantly pop out of the millions of youtube notifications.

‘Mom: Hope you are okay!! Send me cute photos of Berlin 😊😊🙏’

i laugh at it and quickly respond: ‘okay mommy, when i have the chance i will’

‘Louhgis: CLOWN I HEARD YOURE IN BERLIN, IM ALSO HERE SO COME SEEE MEEEEE’

‘who are you? please stop contacting me.’

and after it is a message from someone i haven’t talk in like three months. ‘Harry S: you’re in berlin. wanna see?’

I take a couple of minutes to reply, it’s a bad idea, i know, i just don’t really care.

A couple of minutes turn into tens and even a respond from Louis. ‘Loughis: ‘Your good and handsome friend Louis THE Tomlinson, please 😙✌️. Me and the lads are going to be at the Curtain club.’

‘oh, yeah… i’ll see you there 🙃’

‘Loughis: 🙃’

i give a final chuckle and respond to Styles.

‘maybe. i heard you’re gonna be at Curtain’s”

He responds in a matter of less than a minute.

‘Harry S: yes. stalker much?’

‘you’re annoying.’

‘Harry S: sure honey, so see you at the bar?’

‘maybe.’

Shit.

I arrive at the bar, it’s nicer and emptier than i expected, it’s not really the scene for a bunch of 20 somethings, it’s more for a bored dad or a business meeting place.

“Oi. Y/n/n! Here!” ah, that voice. I look at one of my only true friends in the world, he hugs me and says. “I’ve missed you giggles.”

“I’ve miss you, nugget.” i kiss his cheeks, he also does.

“Here is Harry, Niall and Liam.”

“Zayn?”

“Said he was tired, stayed at the hotel.” he says sadly.

“Oh, i hope he gets better.” he nods but leads me to the rest of the guys, here are at least five other girls who look stunning and some staff and bodyguards.”

“Hi, Y/n/n.” Niall is quick to leave his drink and head to me. Carefully placed his hand in my back, not too low, not too high, and leaned into a kiss, i think i’m well known as a cheek kisser more than a formal greeter.

“Hi, Nialler. Love the glasses.” i smile, he does look good in glasses.

“Thanks.” whispers.

“Hi, Y/n Y/l/n.” Harry is next in the line. He just waves his hand from his seat at the high bar. Very inauspicious Styles. I look at Louis who is uncomfortable at his friend and bandmate’s attitude.

“You’re rude Harry. Hi, Y/n. Nice seeing you.” Thank you Liam, that was awkward. I hug him.

“You too!”

I’ve been chatting with Louis for a couple of hours but he ended up going back to the hotel, management needed him. So since i’ve been with Niall and the bartender.

My phone rings when exactly an hour after engaging with the conversation. ‘Harry S: see you in the parking in 5 minutes’

I excuse myself to the bathroom.

‘okay, see you there in 6 minutes.’

‘Harry S: funny!.’

On my way to the restroom i hear his low voice say “Bye guys. I’m going to the club i told ya.”

“Don’t have too much fun!” a girl said giggling.

“Yeah!” Niall said.

I see him and a bodyguard exit the building slowly.

After two minutes, i counted, i go to say bye to everybody. Niall made me swear to write him when i get to my hotel.

“I’ve missed…” he kisses my neck and my heart jumps. “I’ve miss this.” he roams his hands along my sides.

“Shut up.” i whisper with my breath stuttering.

“I would tell you the same, i don’t want to wake up the neighbors.”

His teeth takes my lower lip, i moan, he grunts.

“I will take these off.” and he takes my top, then my pants, i’m just in my cherry pattern panties. He stays looking at them for a second before he whispers “i like them.”

“thanks i also do, don’t take them please.” i smile grabbing his hair and kissing him again, i don’t want to talk or i’ll get too sappy.

“i won’t this time, Louis discovered the last pair.”

“Jesus…” i laugh uncomfortable. i was going to say that it must not be a weird occurrence in his life.

“Yeah…” his lips return to my uncovered breasts but my mind goes to my previous thought, i’m just one of ‘his girls’. when i just want him to myself.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?”

“I asked if you wanted to take my clothes off.” he says softly. i didn’t noticed when we got to the bed.

“Oh. Sure.” i say shortly, making my way to sit on his lap, unbuttoning his jeans.

“Gee, don’t act as if i’m offering you a crisp.” he laughs, i don’t.

“I’m sorry.” i keep my eyes on his crotch, but don’t do anything else.

“What? No, i was joking… are you okay?” he takes my hand and puts them in his shoulders, also holds my face gently.

“Yeah. Let me do my work.” i say returning my attention to his clothes, specifically taking them off.

“Hey, i see you distracted. We don’t have to do this…”

“But i want to.” To spend the night with you.

“Okay…”

“Okay.” i smile at him to reassure my answer. he looks at my eyes and smiles before looking at the mirror at the side of the bed that seamed more interesting than me.

Once his tight jeans were around his ankles he seemed to focus in me, or a least my actions. He hugged my back with one hand and my hips with the other as he kicked his pants completely of.

My body seems to enter in the fucking mood like a switch was turned on, my hands push his shoulders to lay him down. They also snake down his with tshirt, softly caressing his sides, going down towards his dick. Palming over his dark blue briefs.

He exhales with a bit of shake to it. I just continue to pleasure him. Even if he is fully erect, a bit of attention never hurts. I plush his boxers just under his dick, purposely touching it with my finger.

“You’re taking your time, huh?”

I just nod and continue. Even with a bit of his precum already oozing out of him, it needs more lubrication.

My hand goes to my mouth, discreetly letting some spit scape my mouth. His emerald eye follow every movement as if they were in slow motion. He smiles as my lips shut looking juicer.

My hand begins to stroke from the base al the way to the tip, teasing in the spot i know he loves.

“Careful with what you do, I may take revenge.”

“Sure, pretty boy.” He tightly smiles as I push my eyebrows up and my hand works slowly back up again.

I stay massaging at a moderate pace, making sure to make him pay his past teasing, about two moths ago. I ended up crying at the despair, it was kind of fun.

“I get it, darling, i’ve paid for my sins.” He says in a strained voice. I laugh more genuinely than i wanted, stopping.

“Do you have a condom?”

“You know i do.”

“Extra small, i suppose.” I joke, still sitting on his lap, watching his large torso reach for the foiled packet. I see with almost white teeth show.

“If that makes you feel calmer, yeah.” he’s laying down under me now, between his pointer and middle finger stays the condom. He looks a bit spaced out, even high, but in a way that his features are relaxed, his smile is natural and charming, and his body seems at peace.

While I debate with myself to stop staring, he tuns us around, inverting out positions. He takes my panties off, we’re the trace of my excitement is apparent. He smiles.

“I’m sure we can keep going. Feel ready?” I nod with my blushing cheeks, i know i’m a people pleaser, but being this wet over a hand job makes me a bit embarrassed.

Since the beginning of this situation, or whatever it’s called, we’ve been very aware of each other, being as communicative as possible in bed, having the others confort in mind. But this time, this specific event in time, it’s extra careful and intimate, i didn’t even thought about until know, that his hand goes behind my neck, with his thumb caressing my hot cheek.

I feel extra observant and observed, with a slow pace that i think we’ve never experienced, or thought of going, but somehow we’re on the same page, he takes his boxers off, places the condom and passes his open hand between my breasts, stomach, opens my legs and softly spreads my wetness from my entrance to my clitoris, making around three circles before kneeling between my legs.

“Do it Styles.”

“Ah, there’s something missing to the sentence.”

“I will not say it.” I look at him smugly.

“Okay, next time, then.” He says before kissing my lips, once, twice, three times. Then entering straight and slowly into me.

I moan with his lips still on mine, my hand goes behind his neck, grabbing son of the small hairs there.

His mouth makes the noise of passing saliva before he starts moving rhythmically. The frictions makes my senses tingle and my back arch a bit, looking for a bit of closeness, more.

He lets about breaths, grunts and moans between kisses al around my face and neck.

I don’t know how, but his pace seems to specifically make me cum as quickly as possible. And with that my mouth becomes louder, so does his. My hands hug him around his neck, and his sneak around my waist, pressing me against his torso completely.

“I feel you close, cum, darling. Do it.” His deep voice is like a guide that makes me crumble.

“H…” I stop myself from naming him, pressing my lips together, arching myself and finishing. As he keeps going to finish himself.

“Yeah…” He shakes a bit, and i move a bit to help him out finish quicker. Then i feel warmth in me, th condom stopping it.

Like that, we stay laying down for maybe 3 minutes. Then he stands, goes to the bathroom and composes himself. I stay on the bed waiting to do the same myself.

“Shut that off…”

“I’m going to shut you off.” I whisper taking my phone. It was a call from Niall Horan.

“Whose calling now?” he groans and turns away.

I quickly get up and click answer, i go to the balcony to chat in peace.

“Y/n/n! I was getting worried.” he whispers as he was trying not to wake up someone, probably Zayn.

“I’m sorry, Ni. I fell asleep as soon as i laid in bed.”

“It’s okay” he laughs. “I’m pretty sure your day was exhausting.”

“A little bit” i giggle at his choice of doing conversation at 4 am. “but it’s okay, its better than doing nothing.”

“Oh, the grinder mindset, i love it” I laugh hard.

“Sorry, Horan. I know you prefer to stay playing guitar and eating, that’s just you, not me” he sights, he sounds tired.

“You’d love it if you had the opportunity to try it” he added. “What about i present it to you?” i know he is smirking.

“Oh, what a gentleman, i’d love to. You have a break coming soon, right?”

“Yeah!” he almost screams, then he lowers his voice after saying a sorry. “You also have free time?”

“Yep.”

“Are you visiting your family? We could meet up there! Even go together, my flight is on Wednesday.”

“Yes! I could change my flight, it leaves tomorrow.”

“Oh, are you sure? I wouldn’t like to mess with your-”

I interrupt him quickly. “Don’t worry, it’s no problem, I would like company, especially if its you.” I don’t know why i say it.

“H…a, okay, then it’s done, we leave on Wednesday. Now, sleep, maybe we see each other at breakfast.”

“Same thing to you, brunette.”

“Okay, i hate you, bye.”

We laugh a second. “Bye” I finalize.

part 2

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #angst #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles writing #harry styles x oc #niall horan #1d #1direction #love triangle

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felikatze · 6 months ago

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Rambling about IDW Amy because i love her

(i've currently only read to #56 so this post only covers up to there)

actually i'm still thinking abt amy. i really love how amy has this like, very quiet character arc in idw? she's introduced fighting alongside sonic and she has FUN and it's a blast and an escape for her and she sighs going back to the resistance. and it gets even WORSE when knuckles ditches to go back to angel island and amy is just The Leader Now.

what makes it great is that amy is a pretty compassionate character to begin with. she wants to help people!! both because she admires sonic being a hero i think but also because she just likes doing it. but her help for others tends to be on the more personable level rather than grand saving the world business. like how often is amy just a core supporting character (this is not an insult) and helps prop people up to do the hero-ing instead. like big examples of her being personable and compassionate in games being the SA games with gamma and how she was the one who got shadow to turn around, or her supporting role for silver in 06.

and like, again, her help is on a personal level. and she wants to help everyone, she really does. because now, with the restoration, she is Responsible for everyone. she doesn't just want to make people happy, she has to. as again, contrasted by knuckles being the lone hero type - the status quo is restored, so he's done, bye, while amy tries to get the people back to actually happily living their lives and moving on from trauma and whatnot, instead of just removing The Big Threat.

and she's the only one of the core cast who's gonna do that. who's gonna see beyond the big hero shtick. but it is simply Too Much <3 it is too much. she's constantly tired and exhausted. it's ACTIVIST BURNOUT BABEYYYYY

in making herself responsible for Everyone, she stops being able to help people on the personal level she's used to. and she CONSTANTLY grumbles about her job, about how she hates large scale organizing and logistics and all this dumb shit that actually goes into running a huge organization.

notable here how when she's w the restoration, she Immediately perks up when Sonic & co. show up, and ya ya, her crush on Sonic, but also because like, again, back to her introduction! The hero stuff becomes going back to her roots, making a big tangible difference, getting out of the minutae - it's an escape. yknow, that's what sonic stands for, and all. freedom. being w sonic and the gang, even outside her persistent infatuation (which she even tamps down to get to business!), sonic is freedom, to her.

and it all comes to a head w the zombot arc, obviously, because if running a rebuilding squad was tough, running a zombie apocalypse shelter is worse, just constant setbacks and losses and stress and Everything Sucks So Bad For Everyone.

there's not really a great big moment of realization for amy to step down, it's just that Tangle goes, hey, i got this friend who likes bureocracy, and amy JUMPS at the opportunity.

and after that, amy starts joining main storylines more often (e.g. chao races!! hanging out w cream and rouge!) and she's having more fun and obviously way less Fucking Stressed all the time.

thinking abt the camping arc or whatever it's called (i will never remember names of arcs) where amy takes the girls on a roadtrip. belle is experiencing major daddy issues, tangle is dealing with a breakup (kinda), and jewel is unsure of herself, and amy forces all of them to take a break. she's paying it forward!

and you see her in that arc slot right on back into that supporting role she's so much more comfortable in, in how she supports and encourages jewel to develop the leadership abilities amy knows she has, and this does actually help jewel step up to bat and solve the crisis.

amy's learned that she can't be responsible for everyone, or she's just gonna run herself into the ground without helping anyone, and her solution for that is to limit her scope. she focuses on her friends, on the people in her immediate surroundings, the people she knows and connects with. what she's good at.

which is!! such a good direction to take her character!! man!! i know ppl r complaining abt amy's crush on sonic being toned down in recent games (generations remaster WHAT are you doing) and i think the idw comics did a FANTASTIC job expanding her character beyond her crush (while still keeping it, even), by extrapolating the emotional impact of how she fares from her role in forces!! (considering how weak forces' writing is, isn't that Fucking Incredible.)

anyways, this is probably my favorite take on Amy <3 go girl set limits to your compassion because bleeding hearts can only bleed out <3 also again like fun Recontextualization what the crush on sonic means for her like, symbolically. it's good.

#feli speaks #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #idw sonic #soooo many character takes in idw that i love #i think like my favs for sure for the og sonic crew are amy sonic eggman and metal

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urfavouritegirlie · 1 year ago

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Classmate

Miles x black fem reader

(Not my image)

Summary - Y/n delivers a textbook to Miles’ house when he forgets it in maths class.

The extra curricular maths class is over. I attended because we have an exam next week. I really don't know why I stayed, I don't think I needed it. It's only a few students that went after school. The teachers words are just gibberish because I'm too tired to listen. The bell rings and everyone immediately starts packing up to leave this place to enjoy their weekend. I'm a bit slow in packing my things making me the last one to leave.

"Oh Y/n!"

I was literally by the doorway when Mrs Williams called me. I put on an award winning fake smile and walk to her desk. She's not buying though.

"You can stop the act."

*Sigh* "Was it that obvious?"

"I'm a black woman too okay. Don't get me started."

We both share a small laugh before she continues talking.

"Mr Morales over here has left his text book. Could you go and give it to him. I'll write his address on this paper. Usually, I wouldn't do this but we have an exam next week and I have a feeling he might need it over the weekend."

She writes it on a piece of paper and hands it to me. I read and it doesn't seem too far. Just in the opposite direction I go. I walk outside and start heading in the direction of the address. I really haven't walked here before but it looks pretty lively. There's a basketball court with guys my age playing, music blasting but in an enjoyable way and everyone talking to each other.

I reach the apartment building. I go to press the buzzer but someone was making their way out and held the door for me. I walk inside and up the stairs. I check the paper again to be sure. Third floor. Ok In that moment I realise how awkward this could be. I mean we barely talk. The only time we do is when we are put in groups to work together. Nothing else.

I knock on the door and wait. I can hear a lady talking. Spanish I think. I couldn't hear another person so she must have been on the phone. The locks on the door unlock and the door opens showing a lady in scrubs and an apron on top. The aroma of well seasoned food graces my nose. But that's not the focus.

She looks at me with an eyebrow raised. I think I should introduce myself before I die of awkwardness. I take a peek at her name tag. Rio Morales

"Umm hi Mrs Morales?"

"That's me."

"I'm Y/n and I'm just here to deliver Miles' maths textbook, he forgot it in class and we have an exam next week. Our teacher thought that he might need it so that he can study over the weekend."

She looks me up and down like the security guard at school. All of a sudden I feel like in hiding illegal substances. Her expression changes to a soft one. She's balancing her phone between her ear and shoulder.

"Oh come in."

"Wait but-"

She continues her conversation on the phone and walks to the kitchen. What now? I look at the time on my phone. Its 4:48 and I really should be home by now. I close the door and I peek into the kitchen to where she is. She finishes her conversation on the phone with a 'girl bye, talk to you later'.

She looks at me and I stand up straight. I've been taught by my dad to make a good impression and to respect elders, only when necessary. "I didn't know Miles a 'girl' friend." She did the two finger gesture at the word 'girl'.

"Well we're just classmates really." I give an awkward laugh to sorts ease the tension inside me. "Umm Mrs Morales I really shou-"

"Would you like something to eat. I cooked a lot so there is plenty"

The food she was cooking smelt so good. I haven't smelt something like this since my mom died. My stomach was begging for it but should I really. She has this smile on her face that is so convincing. Why not.

"Let me call home first."

"Ok"

I call and someone picks up the phone.

"Y/n where are you? You should have been home by now. You have me worried sick."

"Yeah, sorry Jay. I had to deliver something to a classmate. His mother offered for me stay for dinner. If that's cool with you."

"A friend? Oh how nice. Sure you can stay over. Don't stay too long though. Ok bye now"

I thought she would be my saving grace but no. Jadyn is my neighbour and is looking after me whilst my dad is out on deployment. She's always telling me that I need to make friends. I do have friends, in LA.

I cut the phone and look at Mrs Morales who has a waiting look on her face. "I can stay over."

"That's good. My husband should be back in a minute and Miles..... where's Miles?"

I take my jacket off and hook it by the door and place my bag in a corner. I take off my shoes and place them to where other shoes are.

"Well since I'm here I can help you. If you don't mind."

"Oh sure. You can set the table for me."

She hands me plates, cutlery and mats. I place them nicely with the fork on the left and the knife on the right. I place the extra mats in the middle for the food. The door opens and this big guy in a cop uniform walks in. I freeze in my spot.

"Hey Jeff, welcome home." Rio goes and hugs him and kiss his cheek. I look away though.

"Hi. Who's this?" He asks looking at me through those dark glasses. I can feel the intense look.

"This is Y/n. Miles friend at school."

Again with the 'friend'. I barely know the boy. We've only had a few interactions at school.

"Nice to meet you Mr Mora-" I had put my hand out to shake his.

"What brings you here." He takes his jacket and hat off to hang it.

Well, that hurt.

"I was just delivering Miles' maths textbook. He had forgotten it in class so I was leaving it here for him because we have an exam next week."

"Oh ok. What do your grades look like?"

"Jeff stop."

"What? I'm just making sure she ain't a bad influence on Miles. Speaking of you don't happen to be keeping Miles later than usual?"

"N-no sir. I'm a straight A student at school."

Now he was inspecting me from head to toe. I know the feeling. My dad did that if he thought I was doing something suspicious or making sure my room was clean. I get put on the spot, especially by people of authority.

"What do your parents do?"

Oh damn. Here we go. I always hate this part. When I tell them they have a look of pity and I don't like it. They start treating me like I'm fragile.

"Umm my mom died when I was a kid." I look down so I don't have to see their faces morph into sorrow. I finally look up and of course they look sorry for me. I give a small smile. "That was many years ago, it doesn't bother me too much." I try to brush it off.

"Oh gosh. I'm so sorry."

"My dad on the other hand is a staff sergeant in the army."

Both their eyes widen. Mrs Morales in amazements and Mr Morales in an "oh crap" kinda look. That the look I always get after telling people my dad is in the army and his rank shocks them. I bet he feels bad for assuming I was a bad kid and intimidating me. At that same time the door opens again revealing Miles.

"Sorry I'm late. I was at the library studying for next weeks maths exam."

We all look at him. This guy is in so much trouble. He looks back and notices me. Lord help this boy.

"Oh Y/n, what are you doing here?" he asks confused.

"Oh you where at the library. Wow Jeff we have a smart and dedicated son right." Rio cheerfully says.

"Oh yeah, I'm very proud. So what topic where you studying?"

"Umm you know algebra, trigonometry and stuff."

"Oh what were you using?"

"My maths textbook."

Lord send an angel to take me now. The sarcasm is so present in the room. How can he not detect it? But at the same time I wanna watch. Both Mr and Mrs Morales give each other an unimpressed look. It's about to go down (insert Kevin Hart voice).

"Ok Mr 'I was at the library' answer this question. How can you study when your maths book is on the table?" His mom asks.

He glances at the table behind me and sees his textbook laying there.

"Y/n here has kindly come to drop your book here since you left it at school. Isn't that so nice of her hmm?" The tone in her voice is so unsettling. I would melt if I was Miles. Caught in a lie. Miles then looks at me. I feel guilty for bringing his book. Wait that ain't right, it's not my fault for the kind gesture.

"Anyway, dinners ready. We'll talk about this later. Y/n is staying over for dinner. She set the table so nicely."

His mom goes back into the kitchen to dish the food. His dad goes to sit at the table and Miles lays his stuff on the sofa in defeat and sits next to his dad. I shuffle to the kitchen to continue helping.

Now we are all seated at the table. His dad at the head of the table, his mom next to him, Miles opposite her and me next to her. But other than that, food looks great. I sit with my hands to my side. I don't want to make the first move.

"Let's say grace shall we."

They each other’s hands. I follow the same suit. I do this with my dad when he's home. His mom starts to pray.

"Lord may you bless this food we are about to eat, bless the people in this house.... even if they attempt to lie. Amen."

Talk about shade. I'm sure the heavens felt that. Now we are eating in silence. It's fine because the food is so delicious.

"So y/n, you said your dad is a staff sergeant. How long has he been in the army?"

I swallow my food and answer the question. "He's been in the army for 22 years now. He's 45 now so he was 23 when he joined."

We eventually finish eating. The conversations flow nicely without any awkwardness. However Miles hasn't said a thing. Kinda forgot he was here.

"Miles clear the plates." Without a word he hurry's to do the dishes. While his mom and dad are talking about their day at work I go to the kitchen to help him out. I grab a dish towel that's on the counter and start drying the dishes.

"Sorry if I got you in trouble."

"It's not your fault, it was for a good reason. I shouldn't have lied in the first place."

"Call me a detective or something but I think you had paint on your face. I don't think your parents noticed."

He pauses and looks at me. He clears his throat and discreetly says "Spray painting."

"Oh word?"

He nods his head and continues with the plates.

"Anyway thanks for bringing my book."

"Don't thank me, it was Mrs Williams' idea. I was just about to head home when she stopped me. Then your mom asked me to stay for dinner. Btw your parents are so intimidating but nice at the same time."

He laughs. He has a cute laugh.

"I think a dad in the army is more intimidating if I say so. I think you had my dad a bit shook. What does your mom do?"

"Uh my mom was a nurse."

"Was?"

"She died when I was a child, too young to remember."

"Oh I'm sorry about that."

"It's ok. Anyway, we've finished now. I have to get going home. It's dark now."

"Thanks for helping out. See you at school then."

"Yeah."

We bothwalk to the dinning area. This grabs his parents attention. "Uh I have to get going now. Thanks for the meal Mrs Morales, it was really nice."

"Oh darling, it's fine. Hope to see you again. But it's dark now, I'm sure Jeff can give you a ride."

He happily agrees and gets up to put his jacket on. I put my shoes and jacket on and pick up my bag. I say goodbye to Mis and his mom. I can see Miles say something behind his mom without her noticing. He said 'pray for me'. Oh yeah he's still in trouble. I close the door and walk downstairs with his dad.

I give him the address and it's a silent ride. I'm not complaining though. I open the door and Jadyn is already by the door.

"Y/n it's dark out and....... what have you done?"

She notices the cop behind me.

"Oh this is Miles' dad, he gave me a ride home. You know, my 'friend'.

"Oh well thank you Mr Morales for bringing her home, hope she wasn't any trouble."

"Not at all. It's my son that's in trouble. It was nice to have you y/n."

With that he leaves.

"Miles huh? Sounds like a boy name." She's smirking at me.

"No" I leave for my room before she can say anything else. I jump on bed thinking about today. Today was ok. That interacting with Miles was fun. I'm glad I stayed after all.

#into the spider verse #miles morales #spider verse #miles morales x reader #spiderman

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chriscoquette · 9 months ago

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Blaine Bushong x!Fem reader

Fluff!

Summary : you were a camper at a church he worked at as a camp counselour, it was 3am and you couldn't sleep, so you went over to his cabin

W: kissing! Pet names (baby, sweet heart)

(It might be bad bc this is my first ever story! )

Y/n couldn't sleep, it was 3 am thunder was rolling, rain was pouring, it was keeping y/n up, she looked around every other girl camper was asleep

"dude, be for real" she said quietly careful not to wake anyone up, then the image of Blaine popped into her mind

"Maybe Blaine can help" Y/n said, she got up from her cot, stepping carefully so she wouldnt wake anyone up

She walked outside, and she got to Blaine's cabin, she saw Blaine outside scrolling on his phone

"Hey sweetheart" Blaine said with a tired demeanor he gave her a soft smile, his braces glistening in the moon shine

"Hey, I'm struggling to sleep" Y/n said sitting down next to Blaine

"Oh, me to, maybe we could go back into my cabin and watch a movie?" Blaine says looking at y/n

"We can if you want" y/n said while Blaine got up and took her hand, Blaine stared at her lips, struggling to keep himself from kissing her

"Y/n, I have a co-" he was cut off my y/n's lips latching onto his, he felt like this was a dream

Blaine pulled away "Y/n I-I-uh, you like me?" Blaine nervously chuckles rubbing the back of his neck

"Yeah, I do, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner" Y/n says looking down, then Blaine tilted her head up with his thumb

"So, is it official?" Blaine says smiling, his lanyard glistened in the moon light

"I guess so" y/n smiles as they go into his cabin, they get comfy, and turn on a movie

"Love you baby" y/n says smiling "love you to sweetheart" Blaine says, and a few minutes later they fall asleep

Sorry if it was short guys! I'm kinda busy so I was rushing, I'm also sorry if it doesn't make sense it's my first story, I might make a part 2! And I'm still taking requests! Bye my loves! -from your friend annica

#birlap smut #sturniolo smut #sam golbach smut #colby brock #colby x reader

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riansdiary · 10 months ago

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Taking a Break for myself...

Dearest Gentle Readers 💎

Hello everyone! It's Rian. I have decided to take a break from writing here on Tumblr unless I'm called to because it has taken a toll on your girl. No worries! I will check in and will answer any and all of your questions except ones I'm not comfortable answering but nevertheless, if you need help I'll be here!

I was doing so amazing. I'm keeping my thoughts in check and knowing it's done. Since being back, I've been reading too much again especially posts that make manifesting a process and those that don't sit right with me. The reason I quit Tumblr before is because of the same reason.

I was reading so much even those that don't resonate with me. I also over consumed again and when I was reading for fun recently, there are some posts that didn't sit right with me and made me feel like manifesting is a process when it's not.

I respect any and all of your techniques and opinions, whatever works or feels right for you but I accidentally read some while I was bored and it made manifesting a process for me when all I ever had to do was accept it's mine and it's already done so I'm limiting my time on Tumblr because of that.

I already know what works for me and I was having a struggle because of how simple it is. I guess this is why we over complicate it a lot. It's literally as simple as accepting your desires, knowing it's done and leaving the 3d alone. Not paying attention to what you don't like in your reality.

I will focus more on healing. I've been tiring myself up taking too much on my plate. I'm writing here, I also make subliminals, I'm a co-admin of a Gossip Girl Rp group as well. I just need time to focus on not manifesting but fully accepting that I have my dream life. It's time for me to focus on letting myself accept that. That's all I need to do anyway.

If my posts resonate with you, I highly recommend reading @babygothprincess and @etherealkissed88 posts because I'm learning everything from them!

That's all for now and I'll be here soon with more success stories to come! Bye for now! I'm not really gonna be gone though, just focusing on myself and staying away from Tumblr posts because I already know what to do. I will answer your question still as I said!

#law of assumption #manifesting #manifestation #lawofassumption #loassumption #how to manifest #bridgerton #subliminals #taking a break

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moonslust · 13 hours ago

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OKAY SO! I left my job last week, and I took the bold decision to not say bye to all 80 people that work there, but 6/7 of them. My current co-worker had told me to say bye to whoever I felt I needed to say bye to because they had all been pretty shitty people, especially in the beginning, so it was deserved. Today, my ex co-worker (she left like a month ago, also out of desperation) reached out to me and started talking about how she thinks this was a disrespectful act and that saying bye to all in general is a nice thing to do. First of all, nobody asked, so I was already "mad"; I replied "well, I always behaved nicely, even when they were anything but that, so I think they deserved it and I don't regret it, actually, I'm happy if they feel even a little bit of resentment" she continued saying "I think you say these things just because you've just started working, but you'll change your mind on the long run". I replied "I'll have time to regret it". AND GUYS. This ex co-worker always knew and agreed that the people we were working for, were shit, so I was like whyy?? the ffuck do you care if they're hurt? Why are you, ex co-worker and friend, making me feel guilty for people that yes maybe was friendly with you but never with me? So the obvious thought now is that I HATE!!!! ASS-LICKING!! PEOPLE!!! WHYYY would you say thank you to people that treated you like shit and did nothing for you??? Also, super tired of people that can't accept the consequences of my actions. It's my life, you have nothing to do with the situation, why can't you stay in your fucking lane? Why are you so pro-corporate when they're barely pro-people? Don't you think these people at work can ask themselves whyyy I didn't say bye to them? . Also, I didn't say bye to eeeeverybody, but the ones that knew me, will understand why I did that. A bold ass move imo. And of course the outraged ones are the ones that have had nasty behaviour towards me or anybody. Because not only did I not say bye bc they were mean towards me, but also bc I saw them talk shit about other people, and forgive me for not being false, but I'm not saying bye to shitty people. I did this for the girls and the gays and me. Anyway, I knew this was coming from her, she worked less than I did and thinks Berlusconi Did gReAt tHiNgS!! so...what a dumbass

#SORRYYYY I NEEDED TO VENT!!!#I HATE PEOPLE THAT THINK ABOUT THEIR APPEARENCE TO THE COST OF GOING AGAINST THEIR BELIEFS #YOU'RE DUMB AND THAT'S WHY ITALY IS IN RUINS!!!!!#have a great night everyone :3 #v

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buddivorce · 2 years ago

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WATCHING AND DREAMING LIVEBLOG ??????? UPDATING AS I WATCH☹️☹️☹️☹️

8:23 who up watching the end of phineas and ferb the mvoie rn

8:25 WHY ARE WE WATCHING AN EDIT OF THE SHOW BEFOFE THE EPISODE WHATS HAPPENING😭😭

8:26 ........archives WOAH SCARY FACE

8:27 oh my god color pallets i'm gonna be sick

8:28 LUMITY ANGST ???? IN HER DREAM ?????? WHAT THE FUCK ?1??1???1?

8:29 oh em gee not lilith's died hair again

8:29 FATHER CLAWTHORNE NO

8:29 EWWWEWEWEWEW☹️☹️☹️

8:30 please do not the luz

8:31 luz blames herself for flapjack💔💔💔💔

8:32 hehe face hold

8:34 REUNION !!!!!!!!

8:34 ray ray im going to kill myself

8:37 GET IT RAINE

8:39 not precariously stacked jenga!!! no !!!!!

8:40 I SAID THEY WOULD NEVER USE THEY/THEM FOR THE COLLECTOR IN CANON AND THEY DID IM SORRH I DOUBTED YOU DANA AND CREW IM SOREY

8:44 ok i got distracted with a different fandom thing where are they

8:46 collector playing grudgby is real

8:46 NOW THATS A SPIN-OFF I'D WATCH

8:47 oh no!!!!!!!!!!

8:48 bros participating in eugenics

8:48 "how'd he get here without a body" most normal toh problem

8:49 oh collector my bug😭😭😭

8:49 FUCKING HELL OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY GOD HER HAT LUZ STOP IT !!!!!!!!!

8:50 kmskmskmskmskmskms

8:50 jaw on the floor she's dissipating

8:51 he csnt fix her😭😭😭😭😭😭

8:52 NO SHE ISNT !!!!! SHE IS NOT !!!!!!!!!!

8:52 oh😭😭😭😭😭 my😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 god😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

8:52 I SHOULD HAVE THANKED THEM

8:53 TITAN ????? HAII

8:53 I AM BOTH KING AND QUEEN BEST OF BOTH THINGS :o)

8:54 watching. and dreaming. watching ..

8:54 where did he get a bad girl coven shirt

8:54 this is what modern leftist political conversations sound like

8:55 it's giving lich

8:56 big fan !!!

8:56 what'd he say what's he SAY WE ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME HERE

8:56 CAMILAAAA !!!!

8:58 "please stop run away" * i am feeling burdened and i taste milk i mumble please please run away but it lives where i live

8:59 WHAAAAAAAT

8:59 SHE HAS FANGS SHE'S TOO COOL

9:00 did i miss something why are they mossydiseased like luz

9:01 i'm too tired for fight scenes rn

9:03 oh my god the titan's hand looks so cool

9:03 RAINE NOT BEINT ABLE TO SEE LMFAOOO

9:04 oh my god she put their glasses on for them

9:04 their hair looks so good🤭🤭

9:05 that fight was not as drawn out as it deserved to be but that is not dana + co's fault💔💔💔💔

9:06 collector💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

9:06 here's how gustholomule can still win

9:07 we have thirteen minutes for canon raeda and huntlow and gustholomule AND another lumity kiss. no pressure tho

9:07 oh god her look is so dark she's. wow

9:07 she doesn't have to be naive to the people who want to hurt her anymore. a win.

9:08 BYE TITAN ILYY

9:09 I LOAF YOU :)))))))))

9:09 so the next eleven minutes are domestic bliss????? yeah??????

9:10 steve moment!!

9:10 GUS AND DAD REUNITE !!!!

9:10 WILLOW AND DADS REUNITE !!!!!!!!!!

9:10 DARIUS ASKING ABOUT HIS SHIRT OH MY GOD😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

9:11 bump cut your hair ..🙁

9:11 cute boscha moment sobs

9:11 darius protects the isles from absolute bitches and whores (real)

9:12 the guards!!

9:12 RAEDA CUDDLES

9:12 LUMITY KISS I TOLD YOU

9:12 NOCEDACLAWTHORNE HUG😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

9:13 see you in the stars bug😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

9:13 sorry i'm ruining my own like

9:13 SHE CANT USE HER GLYPHS ??????????????????????

9:14 oh my god what's happening

9:15 I KNEW HER NARRATION SOUNDED OLDER HER FIT IS SO GOOD

9:15 oh my god THEY LIVE IN THE HOUSE

9:15 willow short hair<3

9:16 flapjack.

9:16 lilith looks so good and matt's stache hasn't grown at all

9:16 AMITY ????????????? LOSES MY MIND

9:17 bump gardener era

9:17 coven removal so real

9:17 ok what was THAT little moment with aladarius

9:18 raeda is def married right like for sure i need to make sure i didn't miss a ring or anything

9:18 GUS LOOKS SO GOOOOOD

9:18 HEADMASTER EDALYN CLAWTHORNE

9:19 oh my god does she have a tattoo

9:19 SHE GETS A QUINCE OH MY FUCKING GODBOH MY FOD OH KY FOD

9:20 LIGHT. LIGHT GLYPH !!!!

9:20 SHE TOKD THEM THANK YOU☹️☹️☹️☹️

9:21 by.3😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

9:21 do you think she's gonna play one more song. she's. she's gonna come back— NO SHES GONNA COME BACK😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅 /ref

#watching and dreaming #the owl house #liveblog #wad liveblog #toh liveblog

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imaginewarehouse · 3 years ago

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Tate Staskiewicz x Reader || Oneshot

Plot: Breaking up with your ill-conceived fuck buddy Tate turns out to be a lot harder then you had even anticipated. (Fuck buddies to lovers)

Warnings: Sexual references- Tate's a perv. We know this. Also unedited like usual.

🔆 🔆 🔆

"Ohh, man, you've gotta break up with him."

Cheyanne, a.k.a the only person who even knows about you and Tate, has told you this so many fricken times that you know she's about to say it just by looking at her. Like right now, as her lips press flat against her teeth and the bridge of her nose crinkles. "Man... "

"I know, I know... " Slumping in your seat, you nibble troubledly on the chicken tender impaled at the end of your fork. You made this chicken Caesar salad this morning, even fried up your own chicken tenders! It’s just like what you can buy at a Schnitz- but you can’t seem to stomach it. You've got things on your mind...

"He's just no good for you!!" Cheyanne insists, and of course you know that. You totally agree! Tate can’t make you really happy in the long run- eventually that egotistical schmuck and his irritatingly good face will get on your nerves more than he turns you on, and you'll end up resenting him. Or, he'll get tired of you and dump you... and your ego couldn't take that. "He's a 10, but he's an asshole Y/N. Just cuz he has a timeshare, and a good job- "

"Shh sh sh sh!!" You jump, straightening up and waiving at your friend to close her mouth. "Don't say that so loud! People will hear. There are eyes, and big fat mouths, everywhere... " Looking around, you land on Amy and Jonah not too far away and narrow your eyes at them until you've deciding they're too wrapped up in each other and didn't hear a thing.

Meanwhile Cheyanne sucks her lips into her mouth, trying not to giggle. "Sorry."

"That's okay. Anyway- " Giving a sigh, you drop your elbows on the table and hold your face in your hands with a pout. " You know I want to break up with him!... I just can’t... " And she knows why. He's too... too... Well he's just so damn hot, really! And the sex, is just- One look from him and your inhibitions are underground along with your dignity and your panties. You've never been with anyone that made you feel like this before! No one’s ever understood you so well... in that area...

"Y/N... " Cheyanne reaches over, then, and pats your shoulder reassuringly, nodding. "I promise you- There are bigger dicks out there."

"Cheyanne!!"

Later that day you and Cheyanne are allocated to the pharmacy to stock shelves, which is just perfect, because you've got Tate making just awful innuendos all the time and Cheyanne at the same shaking her head and mouthing 'No' at you all the time. It’s very stressful.

"Hey, you girl's doing alright over there?"

"Just keepin' our heads down and working, Tate, thanks again... " You sigh, not even looking back at him. You can imagine him just fine, after al. He's probably leaning forward on the desk, watching you with that smug smirk he's mastered, and- What does he think he's doing, calling you two 'girls'?? Well, Cheyanne maybe but you're a grown ass woman!-

"That menial labour's gotta suck, huh?" Ohh, he's trying to get under your nerves. He's really trying. That ass-

"Y/N," Cheyanne looks at you, sensing you're about to give him some kind of attention, and you take a deep breath. She's right, she's right, you think... Don't give him the satisfaction.

"All good," You respond curtly, shelving a few boxes a little bit rougher than necessary. "I'm doing fine."

"Yes you are," She assures, giving you the thumbs up. "But, uh, I gotta pee so... do you think you can finish this up without me??"

"Oh, uh," For a moment the thought of being left alone with Tate sounds like an awful idea- a recipe for disaster. But then you remember that it’s the middle of the day and customers are still around, along with co-workers here and there, so what do you have to worry about. You give Cheyanne a smile, and nod. "Yeah, no problem. See you later?"

"Yeah, bye!"

There are a few seconds of sweet silence after Cheyanne rushes off, but of course it can’t last forever.

"Finally." Tate pipes up once against, this time closer though you still don't look at him. He must have left the register. "Thought she'd never leave."

"Well, she was working, so... " You give a shrug, and continue your own work even as you can feel his gaze on your back and his presence close by. It’s like your body has a very annoying sensor designed specifically for Tate.

"Whatever." He quips, and you know he's about to go on- maybe suggest the two of you take your own break, but you whip around instead and square up to him; Wielding a scanner towards him like a knife.

... Which he seems to find quite amusing as he huffs out a chuckle and grins down at you, but you try to ignore that and muster all the forcefulness you can find in yourself when you speak. "Look, Tate. I do not want to sleep with you today- or any other day from this moment forth, in fact! So sorry, you are going to have to turn around, and return to your place behind the counter while I finish this shelving- silently. Got it??"

It doesn't even take him a moment to think about, he just gives an evil smirk. "So we're playing that game, are we?"

Your jaw drops. "- What!? No! We're not playing a game- I'm breaking up with you- "

"No problem, princess. Fine with me. Foreplay... I like it. Didn't think you had it in you, honestly, but I guess we're learning new things about each other all the time, huh?"

"No no, Tate- "

"Heh, see you around." Tate winks, hands buried in his coat pockets before turning his back on you and disappearing into the back of the pharmacy.

You're left with your eyes squinted and syncing feeling in your chest, as you realise how utterly badly that went. Slowly lowering the scanner to your side, you groan. "This is not going to be good... "

For the next couple of days, Tate doesn't reach out to you to hook up at all- no dirty texts in the middle of the work day, no secret codes in the breakroom, no turning up at your place at night. In fact your life would have been totally peaceful... if it weren't for the stuff he was doing to you instead.

Instead of those dirty texts, he would use your number to simply notify you on work stuff ('Hey Y/N, Amy needs you on Softline’s.', 'Y/N, I saw you go into Glenn's office- could you tell him I had a couple teenagers try to buy prescription only Anxiety meds?', 'Clean up on Aisle 15'). Instead of breakroom hook up codes, he'll loudly brag to other guys about sexual encounters between the two of you in detail (Without mentioning your name, of course) so you get all hot and bothered at the memories and the ridiculously vulgar language he uses to retell them. And instead of turning up at your house after work to fuck he brings dinner, and a movie, and you're sitting there on the couch beside him with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a glass of wine struggling to just not drag him to bed.

He's a sneaky, manipulative weasel and you are not enjoying it! You know exactly what he's doing- he wants you to initiate things with him, and so he's doing everything possible to make you want him while not directly asking you and it is so cruel. And immature. And successful.

Fuck that asshole- but not in the literal way because he would enjoy that too much.

So, you've been ignoring him as best you can through the week, chatting with Cheyanne about anything but him (Or sex in general), and absolutely throwing yourself into work so hard that Dina has been impressed with you. You've been exhausted, but least you've been too bone-tired to drag Tate anywhere over dinner at the end of the day.

As a matter of fact, you've been so worn out, you haven't realised that you and Tate are kind of... dating, at this point.

Today though, you're sent once again to work in the Pharmacy- but this time, you're alone. It’s a slow day and all Amy needs you to do there is keep things neat and occasionally help out a customer.

It has royally sucked.

"So, I was thinking we go see the new Halloween movie, tonight? Tickets on me, of course, all your money's gotta go to, like... food, and rent, and whatever else you poor people prioritise. You like those movies, don't you?"

"Do you like those movies?" You counter, leaning on the bench between you.

He shrugs. "Eh, I could take them or leave them.”

“Then why don’t we just go to your place and watch Cruel Intentions again? I’m down for that.” Were you surprised when you discovered that Cruel Intentions was Tate’s favourite movie? Not at all…

“… Alright. And I’ll make my dumplings?”

“Oh- I love those!” You exclaim, sincerely, watching him grin about it. You genuinely, genuinely love his dumplings. And tonight, you’re going to watch him make them- learn his secrets.

“I know.”

You roll your eyes, but grin too. “Oh you know??” Pft. “You’re so full of yourself.”

“Ehhhh I don’t think its full of myself when I really am amazing.” He smirks, rolling his shoulders and for a split second, you agree with him.

Before forcing that thought out of your mind and flicking at his nose. “That’s not how it works.”

“Awww, you two are so cute!” Suddenly the high pitched sound of Justine’s voice pierces your ears and the contents assaults your brain. What!? Is she talking about you two??? No way- “Like an old married couple.” She joins you by the register as you straighten up, and gasps. “Are you two dating??”

“Pfft, like hell.” You cross your arms.

“Justine, mind your own business.” Tate adds, monotonously, before he walks off into the back once again and you head for some out-of-place vapor rub, leaving Justine confused and alone.

Tate looked… effortlessly good, in the kitchen. You’re starting to think that the dumpling recipe is not worth the abject torture involved in watching the man cook and not being able to kiss him.

Well- to be fair- you could kiss him. He wants you to. But you aren’t giving him the satisfaction of giving up, and so you push that traitorous thought right out of your head. No.

“- No, the Joker would totally kick Lex Luther’s ass, man.” You insist, leaning your waist back into the bench beside the stove, where Tate stands over a hot pot with his shirt sleeves rolled up and tongues in his hand. Some of his hair is out of place, too, and it just looks way too good-

“There’s no way. Dr Lex Luther would absolutely defeat your hobo in a second. He’s got science on his side, you can’t- you can’t argue with that!” - Luckily, though, his opposing viewpoint right now is enough to turn you off.

“Oh yes I can. Joker would totally just overwhelm your guy!!”

“You’re a very illogical person,” Tate tells you then instead of arguing some more, smirking and shaking his head at the pot.

“Ha! You’ve just run out of arguments. Clearly, I win. So I get first dibs on dinner. I want… “Stepping in closer to him, maybe too close, as he puts his hand on the bottom of your back for the time that you stand there, you peer into the pot and the bubbling water to see the almost-done dumplings and give a thoughtful hum. “… those 3 over there.”

“Sure,” He shakes his head again, and you doubt his sincerity but can’t find yourself minding too much as you remove yourself from his space again. Maybe that was a bad idea, because now your heart’s thumping.

Quickly you point towards the livin groom, where you’ll be eating tonight in front of the TV- like usual. “… um. I’m gonna go set the coffee table. Call when the dinner is, uh, done.” Then you’re out of that kitchen like a bat out of hell, thinking close one, close one, close one… and hoping your heart stops beating quite so erratically- soon.

As you que up the movie, you’re thinking… what in the world is happening?? Suddenly the realisation of what this whole week has been… is starting to catch up with you now. One back touch and its all falling apart. What the hell?!

This was a game, wasn’t it?? At least according to Tate. But now you’re chatting about date night at work with him, and cooking dinner with him, and getting called cute by Justine and-

Its like you’re together, almost. Or entirely actually. Like a couple. You, and Tate.

The thought is jarring, and not fully unpleasant, but… Your heart gives a little, terrible thud that you wish you could deny. But, this was a game to him.

This has all been nothing more to him than teasing. Just this morning, you heard him telling Marcus and Isaac loud and clear about the ‘lay’ he had a couple of weeks ago- when he ‘folded’ you ‘like goddamn pretzel’. He’s still playing like you’re a twisted little fuck; A secret he likes to mess with.

The thought, oddly, hurts.

You’ve been kind of quiet for most of the movie, rotating between watching the screen and turning to glare at Tate. You’re thinking, or hoping, that your feelings right now are just your fucked up monkey brain messing with you- making you think you feel more for a hot guy then you do in actuality, so that you give in and fuck him and have strong Tate babies.

Yeah, that’s gotta be it.

So, maybe if you do give in- these feelings will go away.

Turning back to look at Tate, you frown. You could give up your dignity for that, you decide. You certainly can’t live like this!- In love with Tate of all people!

So, taking a deep breath through your nose, you reach over and tug at his shirt to get his attention. When he looks over at you, you gaze at him from beneath your eyelids, lust boiling over heavily in your eyes despite the logic that has lead you here- to this mortifying submission. “… Come on.”

“Oh, where?~ “ A dirty smirk spreads across his face immediately, to which you just get up from the couch and head towards the stairs.

Giving a great sigh, you give in. “Oh, just take off your pants, would you? And shut up.”

“Hm.”

In the morning, you wake up slowly and crack your eyes open gently… to find an empty bed. Of course. You roll your eyes, and force yourself to sit up. Of course.

For a few moments you stay very still, searching around yourself for the feelings you were hoping would go away after a night of ridiculously hot sex with the narcissistic pharmacist. Are they still there, or?...

When the little creeping feelings start to swim around again, you drop your face into your hands.

Because, fuck- you have feelings for Tate.

And he doesn’t have feelings for you.

“… son of a bitch.”

“What’s that?” You jump and look up, when suddenly Tate appears in the doorway, your eyes wide at him.

Shocked, you actually sputter as you watch him round the bed to the side he slept on with a tray, which he sets between the two of you. “What- what are you still doing here???”

“Still? Pft, I left earlier. Had to hit to grocery store and get some food, because you have nothing. Can’t really blame you, though, with that low salary that you earn… ”

“No no,” You stop him with a hand on his arm, and clarify what you meant; Heart absolutely hammering in your chest. “I meant- you’re never here when I wake up. So why… what is this??”

“Breakfast,” He quips promptly, and unhelpfully. “What’s it look like?”

“I… “Speechless and partly alarmed, you just shake your head.

“Look,” He starts again, thank god and picks out a blueberry from the bowl of fruit salad on the platter, beside the eggs and bacon and pancakes. “I realise, we aren’t really a couple. But I think we should change that.”

Your jaw drops. He’s so blunt! Wait, why are you surprised? This used to be an unattractive quality that you dwelled on often- “T- “

“Hold on, let me finish.” Deadpanning, you close your mouth. You thought he was finished, with the stopping and all… “I think we have chemistry, we’re good together. You have a decent taste in movies and, heh, the sex is fucking great. I wanna see how this goes.”

“You done?”

“Not yet. Question- are you up for bondage?” He asks slowly, but you just shake your head of that for now.

“… So you’re saying that you wanna be my boyfriend??”

“Depends.” A familiar, dirty smirk flickers at his face then. “What’s your answer on that second front?”

Good lord, man, focus. “Tate- are you asking to be in a relationship with me?”

“… Yeah.” Giving a shrug, his smirk morphs into something akin to cute, maybe sweet, and goddamnit your heart flutters. Fuck this man. This stupid, self-absorbed, horny man. “What do you say?”

Taking in a quick deep breath, you offer up your wrists because you don’t even need to think about it. “Tie me up.”

#Superstore #Superstore x Reader #Tate Staskiewicz x Reader #Tate Staskiewicz x Reader Oneshot #Oneshot #Tate Staskiewicz #Superstore Tate

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eremiie · 4 years ago

Text

gone for too long;

❥ in which you’ve been gone way too long for eren’s liking.

❥ 2.8k words | nsfw | modern au

❥ content: phone sex, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, i think that’s it

eren rolled over on his navy sheets. he was tired of switching back and forth between the same three apps, constantly checking for new notifications besides the ones from his group chat that kept blowing his phone up.

he missed his girlfriend. he missed your presence being next to him when he woke up and he missed cuddling into you on early mornings. the only company he had now was the dim light being let in through his sheer curtains.

he went to his camera roll and clicked on his photo album of you, scrolling through numerous times; like when the two of you had went to the movies together, he remembered the aftermath, the two of you getting riled up in a taxi and you forced him to tip the driver extra. he also remembered the plethora of dirty photos you'd send to him when he would ask, of course this wasn't a normal occurrence but definitely when the two of you were feeling it.

he contemplated calling your phone despite knowing you were away for a trip with some of your closest friends but he didn't want to bother you, yet his own issue was getting the best of him, the constant tossing and turning, the constant adjusting his sweats, and the constant aching pain he wanted to relieve so bad.

i mean, your contact was right there. he was scrolling through your messages a variety of text messages and share photos sent back and forth, the last time the two of you texted being the day you left for the trip and he wouldn't stop blowing your phone up with how much he missed you; the days after that he resorted to calling you instead.

maybe he should text you first?

okay, okay, he'll text you first, and if you're not busy then he'll call you; if you can't talk then he'll try to handle his own.

10:34pm

Baby you up?

yeah ofc, i’m on a trip

I miss you☹️

imyt bby, wyd?

Like i miss you

bye

eren chuckles at your response, a smile on his face forming at the response time of your texts.

10:37pm

Ok no fr, can we ft, wanna see your pretty face

u sure it’s just my pretty face you wanna see?

Nah

Now answer baby

eren couldn't help but smile to himself as he clicked your contact name, the facetime call ringing one, two, then three times before you picked up, your voice after so long sounding like a melody to his ears.

"hello?" your voice came through the line and from where you were sitting on the couch, pieck's legs sitting comfortably on your lap and the heads of sasha and historia whipping towards you, ymir not caring enough to look up from historia's phone.

"hey baby, how are you?" eren asked, his face not in the camera while his hand sliding left to right on his lower abdomen as he spoke to you.

your eyes flickered to your friends, a sly grin on historia's face at the sound of eren's low voice on the other end of the line.

you and your friends decided that it would be nice to go on a small trip, residing in an air bnb while you all traveled together. it was hard to convince eren to let you go, him saying that "he'll miss you," and "you'll be gone for too long", but when you told him you'd keep in contact with him everyday he reluctantly let you go, of course with a pout. you wouldn't be back for a couple more days as you had a couple more places to sightsee with the girls.

"i'm good, how are you?"

"i'm fine... i just miss you..." eren mumbled, adjusting himself in his position, bringing his hand up to his chest then back down to his stomach, feeling the ripples of his abs from under his palm.

sasha threw her head back and huffed a breath. "i wish connie call me like that!" she turned over to her stomach from on the couch and grabbed her phone, you, pieck and historia chuckling.

"i miss you too, i'll be back soon though."

"but baby soon is not soon enough, i want you here with me." he pouted, his hand smoothing down to his crotch while he stared at you, you looking down at the camera. "i want you beside me, 'm tired of going to sleep by myself."

you pressed the volume down on your phone a couple times. when pieck opened her eyes, her dark irises shifted towards you with a raise of her eyebrow. she could read your mind; her legs sliding off your lap more towards her body, and her eyes closing again. "go on." she smiled.

you shook your head after her trying to hide your mere embarrassment before getting up from the couch with a soft "eren!" to warn her that you were in front of your friends. "i'll be back guys..." you made your way towards the staircase of the rented house while eren continued to talk to you.

"what? i'm so serious babe. it's been so long, i just want to feel you against me." he whined. at some point his hand made its way into his sweatpants, him now palming himself over his black boxers. "where are you?"

you opened the door to the room you share with pieck and sasha, getting on your bed and turning over to face eren, half of his face finally in the camera. you could tell he hadn't woken up too long ago, almost all of his hair falling out of his ponytail, frizzy pieces framing his face and around his head like a halo, although it was kind of hard to see with how dark it was in his room. "well now i'm in the room i'm sleeping in... the owners had two rooms so i took one with pieck since she's pretty quiet, but since there isn't three rooms sasha sleeps here too, she didn't mind making a makeshift bed, plus the owners apologized. ymir forced us to all share a room anyways because she wanted the other room alone with historia."

"yeah? well it sounds like y'all are still having fun anyways since you haven't been calling me."

"eren, we just talked yesterday."

"yeah, because i called you. you didn't call me."

"same thing." you huffed, turning to your back and resting the bottom of the phone on your chest, an angle that made eren laugh. "what are you doing?" you asked him, while your eyes darted around the room to study it since you never really got a chance to, being out and about everyday you've been here.

"thinking about you."

you felt your cheeks heat up, and held back your smile, rolling your eyes instead. "hm, i told you i'm co—"

"thinking about how i want you next to me, so i can feel you against me."

"eren, stop," you moved your face out the camera, of course the butterflies in your stomach decided to start flapping around.

"i'm not kidding baby, i was just going through my photos, that's how much i miss you... and i saw some of the photos you used to send me... how come you don't send me nothing no more?" he taunted you, and you didn't even know his hands were halfway down his pants as he spoke to you so enticingly.

"you know why. how did armin end up seeing my nudes?" you furrowed your eyebrows and turned the phone back to your face with a jokingly angry expression causing eren to burst out laughing.

"i told you i was sorry, it was an accident! historia saw my dick print that one time."

"that's because you sent it to me when she was using my phone, nobody asked you to send those to me while i was out with my friends."

"you're always out with your friends and never with me."

"you're such a baby."

"but i'm your baby, and your baby wants you right now."

you were at lost for words, your voice croaking when you tried to come up with something to say, but eren didn't mind, after a moment of comfortable silence he continued to carry the conversation for you.

"wanna feel that pretty body, i wanna kiss you and hold you," a faint noise was eliciting from the other side of the line, small constant sounds of fabric being ruffled almost— and alongside it, eren's soft panting. "the things i want to do to you, baby... i wanna fuck you so bad right now."

eren's hand was wrapped around himself, stroking up and down in a rhythm that you could hear from where you were thanks to the facetime call you were on. "eren—"

"that's one reason i miss you so much... i been fucking my fist to that pretty face almost everyday..."

you turned over to your side letting the phone rest beside you as you listened to eren through the phone. "yeah?"

"yeah, 'm doing it right now, that's how much i miss that pretty pussy."

somehow you found your own hand trailing down to your underwear, pulling the fabric aside and basking in eren's deep voice and praise. you didn't even realize the soft moan you made until eren's voice came in on the other line.

"you're touching yourself too? touching yourself to me?"

his voice— it was so low and grumbly, just like he had only just woken up, the way he spoke working you up. "mhm," you responded, and when he didn’t continue you took his silence as a way of him telling you to 'proceed', letting your fingers brush over your clit.

"i bet you miss me just as much then... miss the way i bend you over..." eren groaned at his own words, his hand tightening around his cock. his sweatpants and boxer were shoved down around his thighs, only enough so that he would be able to pump himself while laying on his back. "miss the way i fuck you so nice, right?"

"yeah.." you mumbled, you didn't really want to be in the position you were when your friends were sitting just downstairs but you couldn't help it, eren just had a natural charm to him that had you doing whatever he wanted you to.

"fuck, baby, if you were here right now i'd have you screaming like you always do—" you let out a low whimper at the thought, he wasn't lying, he did usually have you screaming and crying during your sexual endeavors, he was just that good once the two of you had learned what each other liked and disliked. "bouncing on my dick like that... you wouldn't even be able to touch yourself like you are right now if i was there..." you clenched at this because once again, he was right, he loved edging you, it's was something about the way you would cry and beg for him to let you come that turned him on so much. "fuck, i miss you."

you let a finger enter into you, and you tried to hold back your moans, your mouth agape at the feelings and you could only imagine it was eren's fingers instead. "i, i miss you too." and the noises, the squelching noises just had to be transferred over the call as well, eren letting out a low chuckle when he heard them.

"you're dirty..." he laughed, thumb slipping over his tip to collect his precum and smooth it down his length. "if you're gonna finger yourself show me,"

you squeezed your legs around you and turned onto your back. "eren..."

"let me see."

he moved his face into the camera, head now against his headboard and him still pumping himself while he watched you adjust his view so that the camera was flipped. at first, it was quite shaky while you pulled off your own sweatpants and underwear, putting them off to the side and then making sure the camera wasn't too shaky for eren. "yeah, right there, now put them back inside, put on a show for me, ______."

he was doing something to you, and it wasn't fair. you slipped your fingers back inside of yourself as he asked and let out a drawled out moan, eren's mouth dropping open much like yours earlier, head tilting back against the headboard as he lifted his hips up to meet his hand. "fuck— you wish that was me fucking you instead?"

you let out another whimper, your eyebrows furrowing and your eyes closing at his words; you weren't even sure if the camera was positioned properly anymore but eren wasn't complaining so you could only assume so. "uh huh,"

"look, baby." you opened your eyes again and looked at the phone. the camera was no longer on eren's face, it was now on his dick, his hand wrapped tightly around it moving up and down slowly. "can you see it?" and you could, albeit the dimness of the room, there was just enough light to see his movements. "you want this inside you?"

you nodded your head only to realize he wouldn't be able to hear you and instead let out a small "yeah", adding another finger into yourself and biting your lip to keep from moaning out while watching eren get himself off at you doing the same, you completely dismissed the words 'eren jaeger💍 took a facetime photo.' when they popped up on your screen, you were to amped up, but you knew you'd be complaining later.

"god, you're so beautiful, i can't— 'mma come." he whined, hips once again jutting into his hand. he was getting sweaty, feeling how close he was, his skin shiny with a thin sheen of perspiration, hair tie touching his neck as his ponytail was almost completely loose. his eyebrows were knit together and his complexion was flushed, with the phone in front of him to give you a good view while he stared down at it to watch you. "i want you to come first, make yourself come first for me."

your eyes fluttered, and you used your thumb to rub your clit while you let your fingers glide in and out of you, the wet noises making eren jerk off faster, a choked noise leaving his throat as he tried to hold back. "c'mon baby, just act like that's me, that's me fucking you so well," and he didn't even have to go on, your orgasm washing over you at eren's words and the stimulation, your fingers pulling out of you and your knees coming together while your face twisted in pure pleasure, the sound of eren unfolding on the other line as well.

"______!" he moaned, letting his cum spill all over his hand, and oh, what a sight. "fuck... did you like that?"

you flipped the camera back, placing it on the bed and using your one hand that was holding the phone to pull both your underwear and sweatpants back on. "i guess," you murmured once you had your bottoms on again. "i'll be right back."

"yeah, me too."

both you and eren left to clean yourself up and wash your hands, you coming back to eren being back first. "so when are you coming back again?" he asks, now his face once again fully in the camera laying on his stomach, clutching his pillow.

you held back a small laugh at his boyish grin when he looked at you, clear content in his eyes, the light from the phone illuminating his features. "two more days, i'll see you soon, eren."

"that's too long. can we do this again if i start missing you again?"

"no, this was a one time thing, i'm hanging out with my friends!" eren pouted at you and squeezed his pillow a little more then leaning forward and kissing the phone making you grimace at him and start laughing. "you're so weird."

"shut up and go hang out with your friends."

you and eren finally hung up the phone after a mantra of 'i love you' from both ends, you finally heading back downstairs.

"well that took forever." historia said, her eyebrows raised at you when you strut back in the living room.

"yeah cause she was probably phone fucking her boyfriend." ymir joked, but it caught you off guard because, she wasn't wrong.

"i wasn't!" you retorted quicker than you meant to, historia and sasha laughing.

"i took a nap while you were up there... that’s how long you took! we have to get ready, we're leaving to go out to eat at four pm." pieck yawned, stretching out her arms and legs and moving them from where she stretched them into your previous spot.

"okay, well then i'm gonna go back upstairs to get ready." you replied, turning back around to head back upstairs.

"don't waste anymore of our time being on the phone with jaeger boy." ymir scoffed as she watched you go up the stairs, historia hitting her shoulder from beside her.

"i won't!" you smiled to yourself, as you made your trek back up the stair, of course you wouldn't take any longer than you needed to getting ready, but you definitely wouldn't waste anytime getting back to eren once you made it back home.

#eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren yeager smut #eren aot #eren smut #eren jaeger smut #attack on titan

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tired-biscuit · 3 years ago

Note

Ship your moots! 💕

@delirious-donna the calm, collected itachi. not because he's one of her faves, but because he'd spoil her real fuckin' nice and she deserves that. OR KAKASHI COS SHE'S THE KAKASHI QUEEN

@sneetsnoot with jiraiya ofc. they can preach about frogs together or sumn lmao. be horny together too. (also snoot would fit suigetsu too. super witty and funny)

@idonotagreebitch neji. i don't like neji at all but he'd treat my girl right and he'd be so gentle and kind, okkkk!! i'd be like fineee, you get neji ig 🙄

@azurelyy with naruto. bright as the sun; the both of 'em. ahhh so lovey-dovey, i'd melt if they held hands in front of me!!

@nightingaleflow mister rock lee, of course. i mean i'd be insane if i didn't say lee, c'mon!!

@allyallygator shikamaru. super chill and really sweet!! idk they'd have nice movie nights imo

@undersero naruto as well, but hokage naruto specifically ;)

i know i didn't include everyone i'm moots with but i'm so fucking tired. pls forgive me, i beg 🤲

also i ain't shipping any of y'all with kiba, bye

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babymetaldoll · 4 years ago

Text

DIWK - Chapter four: "Hurt"

Words count: 13,7K

The gif is mine ✨

Warnings: Hardcore Spencer trauma. Mention of drug abuse, torture, Criminal Minds usual case triggers. Spoilers of Season 2 E14/15 Criminal Minds.

Summary: An unsub abducts Spencer, and reader blames JJ for it.

A/N: Have you ever wished you were there to save Spencer from Tobias Hankel? I know I have. I know reader wants to... I'm dying to know what you'll think of this chapter! Sorry if it's a little too graphic, writing Spencer's POV of this episode was really hard.

Series Masterlist

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

(Y/N)'s point of view

I remember the day Emily Prentiss arrived. We had a case in Saint Louis. Two serial killers, 'cos it couldn't just be one asshole making everyone miserable. And on top of all, Hotch was confused and upset 'cos he never signed Emily's transfer to the BAU. It was like someone was trying to force her into the team, and we all thought it was weird.

We left the bullpen off to the case and left Prentiss in the office, not knowing if she actually got the job or not. I know Elle and I weren't incredibly close, but it still felt weird to think someone might join the team and try to replace her. It didn't work that way in that job. It didn't feel right at the moment.

There is something I also distinctly remember about that day: Gideon talked to me. And not only that, but he actually trusted my knowledge. We hadn't been on the best terms for a few months, so that approach meant a lot to me.

We were at the police station. Reid and I had been analyzing the letters one of the killers had sent to a journalist to find something that might help us catch him before there were any more victims. That's when JJ and Jason walked in, and he asked about our progress.

- "He only sent this to an individual, which shows he is not confident enough to initiate contact with the masses."- Spencer explained as he projected an image of the letter on the wall.

- "Emotional indicators are analyzed through slants, and you can see the shooter maintains vertical, narrow letter writing, and both are signs of repression"- I said and pointed at the image on the wall- "And the pressure, if you look closely, it's excessively heavy, which shows that he's uptight and can easily overreact."

Gideon looked at me and nodded. It was my cue to keep on talking. For once in a long time, I was feeling approved by him.

- "You got all that from his handwriting?"- JJ asked me, surprised. Reid looked at me from the other side of the room, and I could feel his smile reflecting how proud he was of me.

- "Graphology is an effective and reliable indicator of personality and behavior."

- "But my writing is always different,"- she added, and I nodded. I was waiting for that comment.

- "Yes, because it represents your emotions at the moment, just like your facial expressions parallel the way you are feeling while you are speaking."

- "What else can we know about our unsub from this?"- Gideon asked me.

- "Well, our killer uses simple statements, all first person, like "I won't be ignored," which means he's obviously tired of feeling this way. He may have a job in solitude or one that he feels strips of his identity. His work might require him to wear a uniform, something that shows absolutely no individuality, or he may be overqualified for his menial job and feels that he doesn't get the respect that he necessarily deserves."

I made a pause and waited for his words. I was giving my best, and I swear I was still hoping I could ever get Jason Gideon's blessing.

- "I think we are ready to give a profile,"- he said and nodded.

And damn, that felt good.

When we were back in Quantico, Hotch had a long and clearly awkward conversation with the section chief, Erin Strauss. She was scary. She was clearly trying to get rid of Hotch, questioning his work daily, decisions, and how he managed the team. Why? I have no idea.

It felt she forced him to accept Prentiss into the team. We were one man down after Elle left. Ok, one awesome woman down, so we definitely needed some help. And Emily was a great addition from day one.

We clicked right away. Prentiss was funny, smart, but most of all, she constantly had to prove she deserved to be there. Just like me. Gideon gave her the cold shoulder from day one, and that I could relate. The only difference was that she won him over in a few days, though. I was still trying to win that battle.

Garcia decided we needed a girl's night, and she hosted the first of many "BAU Girl Power get together." Basically, it was us at Penelope's place drinking and talking.

That first night, we updated Prentiss with everything that had happened with Elle. She wanted to know everything about us, what we did, how long we've been on the team, and how we all got along. It was sweet and fresh. After that year in the BAU, I had already learned to enjoy the sweet things in life. Like getting drunk with my work girlfriends.

- "So, does Hotch ever smile?"- Emily asked, and we all laughed at the very same time. Yes, it was getting late, and we weren't as sober as we should have been.

- "He does! he does!"- JJ assured us- "You should see him with his baby."

- "He is a dad?"- Emily was shocked. I was surprised too when I found out Aaron was married and with a baby. The amount of time he spends at work always made me feel he had zero personal life.

- "And has a beautiful wife"- JJ added- "He is always laughing when he is with her and baby Jack."

- "I guess this job can drain the happiness from your day... "- I thought out loud, but before anyone could say anything about my dark and bitter comment, my cell phone rang.

- "Hey honey bunny, everything ok?"- I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I didn't want to interrupt the girl's conversations.

- "Yes, I just wanted to make sure you were drinking enough water between drinks"- I laughed and shook my head. Only Reid could call to say such a thing. He was the sweetest friend on earth.

- "Yes, I am, don't worry. I'm not going to be hungover or drunk tomorrow. I know you are excited about the new exposition."

- "You are gonna love it!"

- "I am sure I will"- and I wasn't kidding. I loved when he dragged me to the Smithsonian or any museum for some nerdy fun.

- "Have fun with the girls."

- "What are you doing, by the way?"

- "Just reading a little, you left your complete Sherlock Holmes collection here, so I'll be solving mysteries while you get drunk."

- "Don't have too much fun without me"- he chuckled and ended the call. I smiled and walked back to the girls looking at me with a funny grin on their faces.

- "Was that your boyfriend?"- Penelope asked me, and I frowned right away.

- "No, it was Reid. He just wanted to confirm we are going to the museum tomorrow."

- "Wait"- Prentiss narrowed her brows and looked at us confused- "Reid ain't your boyfriend?"

JJ and Garcia's laughter was epical, as well as my frown. They nearly gasped for air while Prentiss and I waited until they calmed down.

- "No"- I finally answered- "Reid is not my boyfriend."

- "He is more than that; he is her work husband,"- Penelope clarified, and I turned to her with my mouth wide open, shocked.

- "What the fuck? Reid ain't my work husband. He is my best friend!!"

- "Yes, and you happen to call your best friend "honey bunny," right?"- JJ questioned, just like she had a few months before when we were alone in our room away on a case.

- "Reid is my best friend, and yes, I call all my close friends by weird pet names. You will get one too if you are lucky."

- "But I thought"- Emily continued- "I mean, he looks at you like you are his sun."

- "No, Prentiss, the only coupe in this team is the one between "chocolate thunder" and "baby girl" right here"- I pointed at Garcia, and she just blushed and covered her face.

- "My love for Derek will burn forever with the intensity of a thousand suns. I mean, have you seen that man? he was made by the gods and sent to earth just to give my existence some sense"- we all laughed at those cheesy words, though Pen was serious about them.

- "But, have you ever...?- JJ looked at her and made a pause. We were all looking at every single facial movement or behavior she might show to read her body language."

- "My relationship with my loverman could never be tainted by something as mundane as sex."

- "Like you wouldn't lick honey from that six-pack and ride that thunder."

The words just left my lips, and I blame the buzz. BAU (Y/N) would have never said that. Drunk (Y/N) would, totally.

The girls laughed until tears fell from their eyes, and I just chuckled, honestly happy to make them laugh. I had been more of the real me than I had ever actually been around them in nearly a year.

- "Hello?"- my phone rang again when I was walking out of the bathroom. And this time, it was Paul.

- "Hey babe, what are you doing?"

- "Hey, I'm..."- I looked at the girls in front of me and sighed- "I'm stuck with paperwork"- and they turned to me immediately. I could read the "What the fuck" on their faces.

- "Well, I'm at Rob's in case you feel like dropping by. We are writing a few songs."

- "I'll text you if I finish with this early, but... have fun."

- "Ok, bye"- I hung up and sighed.

- "And that was..."- Prentiss asked, frowning.

- "My boyfriend,"- I explained and grabbed another beer

- "Sure, I could feel the passion,"- Garcia joked, but I just didn't think it was funny.

I knew my relationship with Paul wasn't alright. Actually, things with Paul weren't. Period. We were done, it was apparent, but still, neither of us had said it. That relationship was just a few phone calls every once in a while, only to make small talks. When we were together, we would just watch a movie, eat something, drink a few beers, and that was it. It had been a long time since we had sex or even made out. I don't know why I didn't end it sooner. I guess I was just afraid to do it.

But I let more months pass before I actually did something.

Spencer's point of view

I'm not proud of what happened that year after Prentiss joined the team. I think that year changed me profoundly, and a part of me never fully recovered afterward.

Maybe it had to be that way, and it was something I had to go through to grow up. I guess I'm still trying to make some sense of all the misery I put my friends through. Mostly (Y/N). She was in hell with me.

A few weeks after New Year, we started working on a case. Someone was killing wealthy people in their own homes. At first, we thought there were two unsubs, 'cos one of them called 911 after killing, and you could hear them struggling and arguing. But no, it was just one.

Tobias Hankel was a delusional serial killer. He had split personalities, not two but actually three. His father, the one who tortured me. The archangel Raphael, who was trying to make God's will, killing people. And himself, who wanted to save me, but instead, he nearly destroyed me.

What do I remember about the day he kidnapped me? I remember I was stupid enough to try to catch an unsub alone, just to prove I could take care of myself on the field. Hotch sent me and JJ to talk to Hankel at his house, 'cos apparently, he might have seen the unsub months earlier. But no, he was the unsub, and neither JJ nor me could stop him.

We hid in a barn, and I was so eager to prove I could catch him; I told JJ we had to split up to cover the place. I was counting on Hotch to get there with the team sooner than they did, and before I realized it, I was in the middle of a cornfield, and Hankel was pointing at me with my own gun.

I was sure I was going to die right there. All of Hankel's personalities were struggling inside of him. I couldn't stop thinking about why I thought I could do it on my own? Why had I been a reckless asshole? Was it because I wanted to prove I was an excellent SAA? Because I wanted to impress JJ? Maybe I tried to convince myself I could do the same job my team did. I knew I wasn't the most physical person, but I had a gun. I had been trained to capture killers.

Yes, I was an asshole that day, and I've regretted everything that happened that night many, many times in the following years.

When I woke up, I was tied to a chair, and the archangel Raphael had taken Hankel's mind completely. The room was dark, and it smelled awful. He was burning fish hearts and livers, 'cos he believed it kept the devil away.

I was confused and lost. My head was spinning, and my heart was about to burst into my chest. I knew I could die any second now. Raphael wasn't the one to show mercy. That's what I had learned from all the videos Hankel had uploaded to the web. He had shared with the world every murder they had committed to show the other sinners what was going to happen to them.

- "They believe you can see inside men's minds"- Raphael looked at me with dark eyes, implying he meant Tobias and his father

- "It's not true. I study human behavior."- my voice was shaking. I knew I had never been more scared in my entire life. He took out a gun and showed me one bullet.

- "Do you know what this is? It's God's will."

Things didn't look good for me. He put it in the cylinder of the revolver and spun it. He was going to let my life to luck.

- "You don't have to do this"- I tried to talk him out of it, though I knew it wasn't going to work.

- "No go, sinners, to your God."

And he pressed the trigger.

What went through my mind the seconds that passed between having the gun pointed to my face and realizing I had lived? My mom. All I could think of was how my mom would react to the news of my death. I could never bear to hurt her like that. I couldn't die. I couldn't leave her alone.

I sighed, relieved, and bit my lips not to cry. Raphael looked at me with a blank expression and walked out of the room. I had survived for now.

I struggled with my handcuff, but it was useless. My head was killing me. I could feel the open wound on my head, still dripping blood on my temple and head. I tried to focus on the pain for a few minutes, just to make sure I was awake. It was a nightmare, and keeping myself sane and conscious under those circumstances was nearly impossible.

How was I going to get out of there alive? Did the team know where I was? I had no idea where I had been taken. I had been unconscious the whole way. It was dark, and I couldn't see much around me. I wasn't afraid of that darkness. I was more fearful of the man that left me alone, 'cos he was armed and mentally unstable. Darkness had nothing on him.

I had to focus on the things that kept me sane. The things that made me want to get out of that room alive.

- "My name is Spencer Walter Reid. I'm twenty-five years old, my mother's name is Diana Reid, I was born in Las Vegas, October 28th, 1981."

I closed my eyes and tried to think of all the things that made me happy.

- "I work at the BAU, my best friend's name is (Y/N), and she sits at the desk in front of me. Derek Morgan is the closest I've got to an older brother."

He was. He still is. You have to be close to dead to start seeing things clearly sometimes. Derek was my brother. He treated me like a kid, but a kid brother. He was always teasing me, trying to teach me how to pick up girls, trying to drag me to the gym with him. Derek was a good friend, we were very different, and I knew if we had been classmates in high school, we would probably never have talked. He was a jock, and I was a nerd. But life had brought us together. And now I couldn't think of a better friend than him.

I tried to focus on my happiest memories. My birthday came to mind. The guys had planned a Halloween-themed birthday party at the conference room of the BAU. Of course, Garcia baked a cake and (Y/N) helped her decorate it. It was incredible, 'cos it was covered with tiny gourds and skulls.

- "Frank and Mikey sent you these,"- she announced after everybody had given me their presents. I wide opened my eyes in shock 'cos I had no idea her friends knew it was my birthday or even cared about it.

- "Why?"- I had to ask.

- "'Cos they think you are amazing. They actually wanted to come over to your house and have a few beers tonight."- I opened my mouth to say something, but Derek interrupted me.

- "Pretty boy is gonna get to work hungover again."

- "Shut up"- (Y/N) and I said at the same time, making everybody chuckle. I opened the present her friends had sent me and laughed right away.

- "Lucky Doc"- I read and took out of the bag a Sports Illustrated issue with Lila Archer on the cover. My cheeks turned red immediately.

- "Frank still hasn't overcome that story. I think he will hate you forever"- (Y/N) laughed (along with the rest of the team) and gave me another present.

- "They also sent you this. They said you were going to like the man in black"- it was a Johnny Cash's vinyl- "Frank picked it. He thinks he is some sort of musical psychic that can read people's taste in music."

- "We should get together and have a few beers one of these days. I need to thank them for these."

Gideon looked at me in silence as soon as I said those words. But I didn't care if he disapproved. I was going to be (Y/N)'s friend, whether he liked it or not.

He is the closest I've had to a dad in the latest years. He cares about me, and he tries to make the best of me that he can. Yes, he can be too apprehensive. I think that's a way to put it. But only because he wants me to be the best profiler I can be.

I never thought I would end up working at the BAU. I never thought I would love the job I do as much as I do. Back when I was in college, I thought I would dedicate my life to finding a cure for schizophrenia, but I ended up hunting serial killers across the country.

And though I was about to die, I didn't regret any of the decisions that led me there.

The morning found me shaking, cold, and scared. I was in a small cabin in the woods. Just like the worst and more cliché horror movie ever made. This was my own horror movie.

- "What are you staring at, boy?"- Tobias opened the front door carrying logs for the fire. His voice had changed yet again, so I knew it wasn't the same person I had talked to the night before.

- "You are not Raphael."- I whispered, looking at every movement he did.

- "Do I look like Raphael?"- had I insulted him? I couldn't tell. He turned to the fire, and I took a deep breath, doing my best to stay calm.

- "Thank you for burning those, for keeping us safe."- I said, looking at the fish hearts and livers he was preparing to put on the fire.

- "Don't try to trick me."

- "I would never try to trick you."

- "You are a liar."

- I'm not a liar."- it was hard to stay calm and not start screaming for help or mercy, but I knew that was going to take me nowhere with him.

- "Lying is a sin."

- "I'm not a liar."- he walked closer to me, and sat right in front of me, held my leg up, and grabbed my foot.

- "This will be over quickly if you just confess your sins."

- "I am not a sinner"- I whispered again. He took off my shoe.

- "We are all sinners."- it didn't look good for me, not at all, and I knew I had to talk to him with his words with his beliefs to save my life.

- "The Lord spake unto Moses saying "Speak unto all the congregation of the children of the lord" and say unto them, ye shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy."

Hankel, this time in the personality of his father, looked at me surprised. I might have done something right, 'cos he stopped moving, and for a second, I thought it was going to be ok.

- "You know Leviticus."

- "I know every word of the bible. I can recite it for you."- but his eyes turned dark again.

- "The devil knows how to read too."

- "I'm not a devil, I'm not a devil2- I repeated, and couldn't stop shaking, 'cos my life on the hands of a sociopath.

- "I'm a man, my name is Spencer Reid, and I have a mother, and I have a father just like you, and they taught me the bible, let me recite the bible."

My voice cracked at the knowledge of what he was going to do. He stood up, still holding my foot. He was going to torture me, he was going to try to break me, and I had to be strong. I didn't know how I would find the strength, but I had to be strong.

- "Time to confess, Spencer Reid"- and without further notice, he slapped a log against my foot, making me scream in pain. It hurt from the tip of my toes until the back of my skull. I hadn't felt that kind of pain, and it was worse knowing he was just getting started. Tears started falling down my cheeks in no time.

- "Confess!"

- "I don't have anything to confess."- I whimpered and closed my eyes, 'cos I knew he was going to continue his torture. And so he did. The pain was excruciating. I was sure I was going to pass out

I tried to go to a happy place in my head, somewhere when I could hide from all that pain. It was too hard, though. It hurt too much. I kept repeating over and over again I wasn't a sinner, begging Hankel for mercy, as he shouted I had to confess.

I made an effort to think about what he might want me to say. What did he want me to confess? Which sins was he talking about? But nothing came to my mind, nothing but the pain and the fear of dying.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The second we reached Hankel's cabin, I started looking for Spencer. I had a horrible feeling about it. Morgan and I headed it to a barn with Prentiss. There was no sign of anyone. It was dark and quiet. Never a good sign.

- "Shit!"- I whispered, staring at three dead dogs and a bath of blood in front of me. There laid the body of another victim that was missing from Hankel's last attack.

- "FBI!!"- JJ shouted suddenly. She was pointing his gun to us, clearly in shock- "Don't move!!"

- "JJ, it's Morgan, (Y/L/N), and Prentiss! Don't shoot"- Derek tried to calm her down, walking towards her- "Are you hurt?"- she lowered the gun and stared at us. You could read the fear and the trauma in her eyes.

- "Tobias Hankel is the unsub,"- she whispered as Prentiss rubbed her arm sweetly, trying to comfort her.

- "Yeah, we know"- I moved towards her too and put my gun back into the holster.

- "And we thought he was just a witness"- we looked around, and JJ pointed at the dead dogs.

- "JJ, where is Reid?"- Derek asked her, but she just continued talking.

- "They completely tore her apart"

- "JJ, look at me,"- I said and held her arm carefully- "Look at me, where's Reid?"- she was shaking, and her voice was cracking. I knew she was making her best effort to pull herself together.

- "We split up. He said he was going to go in the back."

And there it was. That was the reason why I had a bad feeling all along. Derek looked at me and nodded as we read each other's minds. The two of us turned around and ran outside, leaving JJ with Prentiss, waiting for the medical team and ambulance to check on her wounds.

Gideon and Hotch were inside the cabin, looking for Hankel, but there was no one there. And there was no sign of Reid behind the barn either, in the cornfield, or anywhere in the perimeter. Reid was nowhere to be found, and I started losing it little by little. I tried to repeat myself the words Hotch had said many times during my year in the BAU: "when you are out there with the team; your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case." But the case had never included my best friend missing before.

- "Hey, is there any sign of him yet?- I asked the police chief as I reached the ambulance. He was there talking with JJ, making sure she was ok.

- "We got every one of our units on the road. He won't make it far"- I nodded and watched him walk away. I knew he thought I was talking about Hankel, but I actually meant Reid.

I turned to JJ and moved a little closer to her. Her eyes open wide, staring back at me.

- "You can't find Reid?"- I just shook my head and tried to sound as casual as I could, not to freak her out. She was still in shock. I didn't want to make it worse.

- "Not yet"

- "(Y/N)"- Derek held my arm and forced me to walk away from the ambulance.- "Reid followed him into the cornfield. It looks like somebody got dragged."

My heart stopped. Did the psychopath hurt Spencer? Did he kill him? Did he torture him? Was he hurt? Was he alive? Where was he? Derek looked at me, and I nodded. I bit my lips and took a deep breath. Hotch's words were my mantra now: "your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case."

- "Are you sure?"- we turned to the police's chief, overhearing his conversation- "We are on our way now."

- "What's going on?"

- "The sheriff down two towns over, he just gave directions to a man who fit Hankel's descriptions. It's to a motor lodge in fort bend."

- "Let's get Hotch and Gideon"- Derek held my arm and walked with me to the cabin. We had to find Reid, and we had to do it fast.

That was the worst night of my life. The first worst night of my life, to be sincere. I didn't close an eye. I went through every paper, every note, every detail in that cabin, trying to find a clue that could lead us to where Tobias had taken Reid.

I felt someone had ripped my heart from my chest. I had to think straight, and to do it, I had to keep a cold head. But as the hours passed, it became a more demanding and more challenging task to complete. I knew the whole team was suffering, but that didn't ease my pain. And I knew JJ felt guilty, but that didn't stop me from blaming her in my mind. She left him alone. I would have never left Spencer alone on the field.

- "(Y/N), you should try to get some rest."

Derek whispered as he sat on the floor next to me, where I had been sitting for the last half hour, reading Tobias's old diaries. Nothing but fear of his father, mentions of Dilaudid use, and bible transcriptions.

- "I'm ok,"- I answered and didn't even take my eyes from the pages.

- "(Y/N), I mean it"

- "I'm not going to rest if he is out there in the hands of a psychopath, Derek"- I had to bite my lips and shut the fuck up, 'cos if I said one more word, I knew I was going to burst into tears.

Morgan just wrapped an arm around my shoulders and moved me closer to him. That was the first time I let him hug me, and it felt good to know I wasn't alone in my desperation. I knew he loved Reid like a brother, and neither of us was going to stop until we found him.

- "Welcome to our nightmare"- JJ's voice broke the silence we had been into for the last hour when Hotch walked into the cabin with Penelope.

It was morning already. There were still no signs of Reid. Prentiss, Gideon, JJ, and I had been sitting at the table, reading everything we could.

- "His computer is an extension of his brain. I need you to dissect it,"- Gideon whispered to García. You could feel the concern in his voice. She just nodded in shock and turned to Derek, who held her hand and helped her get set up in the computer room.

- "So, nothing new since I left?"- Hotch asked and looked at us. I just shook my head and continued reading.

- "Well, the good thing is the guy documented practically every second of his life"- Prentiss words took me from the pages I was reading. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. The concept of "good" was poorly used in that phrase.

- "The bad news is, we are still un-piling,"- she added and sighed.

- "From the looks of it, he hasn't left this place in years,"- JJ managed to say. She made her best effort to be useful, but she was in worse shape than everybody else. Yet, that didn't make me feel bad for her. I was mad at her and kept making my best to put it aside, 'cos my head had to be in the case.

- "He knew he could pretend to be looking for a motel and throw us off his trail,"- Emily inferred, but I shook my head as soon as I heard her.

- "No, no, no, it's more than that!"- I shook my head and took a deep breath- "Sheriff's office, 911 calls, every time he engages the police and gets away with it... he reassures himself, God's on his side. Not ours."- I added.

Gideon nodded, and we shared a moment of agreement. He was as worried as I was. I could feel it. I'm not saying the rest of the team wasn't, I'm saying Jason was as fucked up as I was, and I could sense he was having the same trouble I had making sure my head and not my sentiments were into the case.

But if anything happened to Reid, I didn't know what I was capable of doing.

At a certain point, I got sick of reading and not doing anything and decided to look around the house again if we had missed anything. Derek went along. One part of me felt he wanted to stay away from JJ too. Maybe he was as mad as I was about her leaving Reid alone. I know I couldn't blame her, but I did it anyway.

- "Guys!! I think I've got something!"- Derek yelled, and I ran over. He opened a door that led to a basement. I walked right behind him, pointing my gun and my flashlight all over. But there was no sign of Reid.

- "Tobias Hankel!!"- Morgan shouted. Someone was sitting in what looked to be a gigantic freezer- "Tobias!"- but we didn't get any response. I took a step closer and examined carefully.

- "Morgan, I think we just found Hankel's father."

Spencer's point of view

On my second night in that cabin, I met Tobias. The third personality of Hankel walked into the room, carrying what seemed to be a dead deer. He looked as frightened as I was.

- "You need to eat."

- "What's your name?"

- "Tobias."

- "Tobias, who was here before?"

- "Probably my father."

He looked at me up and down, and he immediately understood what he had done to me. It was scary how he could dissociate. Someone with multiple personality disorder is usually unaware of the other personality states and memories when an alter is dominant. In this case, Tobias knew the other personalities but considered them different persons. He didn't think they were all in his head.

- "I'm sorry if he hurt you."

He looked at me like he understood everything I had been going through. Maybe he had been through something similar when his father was alive. Perhaps he had been a victim of Hankel as well, and that's what triggered his psychopathic nature.

He walked over and took out his belt.

- "What are you doing?"- he wrapped it around my arm, and I started begging him to stop.

- "It helps"- he took out of his pocket a needle and a small bottle of what seemed to be some kind of drug.

- "Don't tell my father. He doesn't know they are here."

- "Please, I don't want it, I don't want it, please"- I cried and begged.

- "It helps. I know"- it was the last thing Tobias said before the needle found my vein.

And he was right. It helped. Every single amount of pain I was feeling disappeared. My brain shut down. Somehow, everything was ok. I never had in my entire life felt so good before.

My mind kept flashing memories of when I was a kid. I kept seeing images of the day my father left and how he called my mother crazy.

- "You are weak"- mom spit those words after he refused to take me with him. I know she said it not because she didn't want me with her, but because mom knew she was sick and wanted the best for me. And he refused.

- "I'm not weak."- I whispered as I looked at her smiling back at me.

- "I know, honey."

I don't know how long I was drugged, but when I woke up, Tobias wasn't there with me anymore. It was his father.

And the torture continued.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Gideon was trying to convince me to go out with Prentiss and JJ to see a Narcotics anonymous's contact that might give us more information about Tobias. Emily had found some flyers about it in his room, and it could be the only lead we had to find him and Reid.

- "You need to get out of this house for a while"- he whispered and tapped on my back.

I knew he wasn't the one to be loving or physical with people, less with me. But that moved me. I turned to him and my eyes watered up. I was scared, and I couldn't hide it anymore. The more hours passed, the fewer the chances were to find Spencer safe. Alive.

I felt his arms around me suddenly, holding me tight, trying to keep the pieces of me together. We were alone on the porch, and though I didn't want to fall apart, I couldn't hold it anymore.

Jason didn't say a word. He just hugged me and let me cry for a few minutes. I didn't say anything either. I actually couldn't because I was overwhelmed with everything.

- "Are you ready, (Y/N)?"

Prentiss whispered as she walked over with JJ. I turned my back at them for a second to hide the tears that kept falling down my cheeks. I knew it was a shitty thing to do, 'cos it was obvious I had been sobbing, but they gave me the courtesy of not saying anything.

- "You go, I need (Y/N)'s assistance with some diary entries"- the two of them walked away quietly, and thankfully, didn't argue with Gideon.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and felt his hand on my shoulder one more time.

- "You are doing a fantastic job,"- he said and turned around.

I wish I could tell you that made me feel better, but instead, I just thought I had the duty to bring my friend back home safe.

It had been at least an hour since the girls left. Morgan, Hotch, Gideon, and the police chief were in the living room with me, reading. I sipped my hundredth cup of coffee and re-read the same diary entry for the third time.

- "There's something weird going on here."- I thought out loud and walked towards Gideon

- "You think?"- the police chief turned to me and raised an eyebrow, ironically.

- "No, seriously, check this out. This journal is filled with religious ramblings. He notated hour by hour: "November 15th, 3:17, if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offering unto the Lord, ye shall offer it at your own will", and it goes on and on: 5:04, 7:41, 10:22, 1:42."

I made a short pause and looked at Gideon and Hotch. They didn't get where I was going.

- "But then, it goes blank for days."

- "Maybe he got sick of writing"- I seriously hated that police chief.

- "I think I got it"- Hotch whispered- "Journal entry: "December 6th. Father is sick. He wants me to put him down. I say thou shalt not kill. He said, honor thy father. Must pray for guidance."

- "So he kills his father as an act of mercy?"- Gideon asked, knowing the answer.

- "This is two months ago. Tobias Hankel's father had been dead for four months already."

- "That's exactly it"- I murmured, thinking Tobias Hankel was way more fucked up than we thought.

- "Look at the floor"- Derek pointed at a chair and moved it- "These scuffs marks are fresh. It's like two people were pushing the chairs constantly, trying to fight for control."

- "So?"- I swear to God, that chief was driving me insane.

- "This journal matches Charles Hankel's handwriting, but it was written after he died"- I explained. Still, it felt he wasn't following me.

- "What do you mean?"

- "Upstairs, Tobias' bedroom got junk piled from floor to ceiling, but the other bedroom could pass a military inspection."

- "So, are you telling me one of Tobias' personalities was his father?"

Apparently, I had to draw a picture so the chief would get it. Fortunately, Gideon continued explaining the whole problem before I lost what was left of my patience.

- "Well, Tobias was raised with a strict religious code, black and white, right and wrong. When his father asked Tobias to kill him, something had to give."

- "His brain couldn't handle the moral contradiction, so he split into two personalities to keep his father alive."

Hotch tried to put it most easy and simple words possible.

- "So, who is Raphael?"

- "My guess, he is a mediator between the two"- Gideon nodded at my words and sighed.

- "Angels have no human emotions, live or die. They don't care, as long it's God's will."

- "We need to start profiling Tobias' father. He may be the one who chose where to take Reid."

Finally, I felt we were going somewhere.

When Emily and JJ came back, they gave us the news. Tobias was addicted to Dilaudid, which explained the fracture in his mind, and how he lived with three distinct personalities.

The police chief announced a computer store robbery, giving us some hopes that Tobias would use them to track him down.

- "Guys!! Guys!! get in here!!- I heard Derek shouting and I ran to the computer room. I felt sick in the stomach in less than a second. There he was, Spencer. My Spencer Walter Reid, tied to a chair, bleeding, shoeless. Clearly tortured.

- "He's been beating,"- I whispered, feeling my eyes water up. I would have given anything to be there instead of him.

- "Can you track him?!"- JJ yelled by my side, and I nearly smacked her. That's how sensitive I was feeling.

- "Hankel's only streaming this to his home computer."- Garcia whispered. And my heart dropped with those words.

That wasn't what I was supposed to hear. We were supposed to find him and bring him back safe.

- "This is for us"- Gideon didn't take his eyes from the screen- "He knows we are here."

- "I'm gonna put this guy's head on a stick"- Morgan was so mad I believed him. I wanted to do the same, if worse.

- "I'm gonna kill him myself as soon as we find him,"- I said and felt Aaron's hand on my shoulder as he asked Garcia

- "Why can't you locate him?"

- "He's rerouting to a different IP address every 30 seconds. I can't track him."

It knew it had to be hard if Penelope couldn't find her, but that didn't help. If anything, it made everything worse. I felt powerless. Hankel couldn't be more intelligent than us.

Spencer's point of view

- "Are you ready, boy?"- Hankel pulled my hair and forced me to look at him. I was still as high as fuck, but knew I was about to be tortured again.

- "Ready for what?"

- "My weakling son thinks God gave you to him for a reason"- if the reason was to get me into drugs, then the answer was yes.

Hankel placed a video camera in front of me.

- "Can you really see inside men's minds?"- he asked me and made a pause, pointing to three screens- See these vermin?

It took me a second to realize he was showing me images of real people. He had put cameras in those people's houses. How? When? What kind of sick game did he want me to play with him?

- "Choose one to die. I let you choose one to live."

- "No"- I didn't even think about my answer.

- "I thought you wanted to be some kind of savior."

- "You are a sadist and a psychotic break. You won't stop killing. Your word is not true."

I don't know if it was because of the drugs or because I hadn't eaten or drank any water in too long, but I was somehow resigned and tired of fighting.

- "The other heathens are watching- Hankel announced and pointed at the camera in front of me."

My eyes fixated on the camera right away. My team was watching me. (Y/N) was watching me. I didn't want to make her worry even more. I needed her to know I was ok. I know I wasn't, but I didn't want her to worry about me.

- "Choose a sinner to die, and I'll say the name and address of the person to be saved"- Hankel was sick. It was all a game, and religion was just an excuse to kill.

- "I won't get to choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher."

Hankel didn't like my answer, 'cos he grabbed me and pulled me up, looking into my eyes, insulted, annoyed, losing his temper.

- "Can you really see into my mind, boy?"

He was honestly scary, and it petrified me to think he could execute me right there, in front of the team, and I could never tell them how much they mean.

- "Can you see I'm not a liar?!"- he insisted. I nearly whimpered but made my best not to break- "Choose one to die and save a life. Otherwise, they are all dead."

He dropped me on the chair and turned around. It was clear he wasn't joking. I took a deep breath and nodded.

- "Alright, I'll choose who lives."

- "They are all the same"

My eyes traveled across all the monitors. It was nearly impossible to pick one person to live, knowing all the other people there would die. Hankel was sick, and I had to set a plan to escape because otherwise, I would end up dead.

- "Far right screen,"- I whispered. He turned around and nodded.

Then, he recited the name and address of the woman on the screen. I prayed for the team to find her before Hankel came after her too.

No. It wasn't Hankel this time.

- "Raphael,"- I whispered, and he nodded. I looked at the screen again. The woman we were watching picked up the phone. She was in her kitchen. He walked around, frowned, and turned to her computer. In a second, she had turned it off. My team had reached her. She was safe, I hoped.

Hankel turned the camera off and looked at me.

- "You've done your part. Now it's my turn."

I knew what that meant. It wasn't good.

He left the cabin, and all I could see were the monitors in front of me. Those people were going to die. They were going to die because I didn't pick them. I killed them. You don't need to pull a trigger to kill someone. I could never forget those words. And this time, they meant more than anytime before. I didn't press a trigger, but I had killed two innocent people. And I actually had to watch them die.

When I saw Rapahel walk into the victims' house, I tried to close my eyes and think of anything else. A part of me kept thinking he wasn't going to kill them. He just wanted to threaten me.

But not. Raphael slaughtered them.

I found myself craving whatever it was that Tobias had given me the night before. The drug in my veins had given me a kind of peace I had never felt. And I never thought I'd have either. The type of peace that can be addictive, 'cos it turns your head off. And God knows, sometimes I needed to turn my head off.

Remembering everything that has ever happened to me, especially all the awful things, wasn't a gift. It was a burden. And whatever it was that Tobias had put in my veins, it had taken that burden from my shoulders, at least for a couple of hours.

Who wouldn't want some more of that peace?

- "Reid!"- Gideon's voice took me from my thoughts. He was sitting right in front of the camera in the victim's house. He was there with Hotch and the police, investigating the crime scene.

- "If you are watching this, you are not responsible for this. You understand me? he is perverting God to justify murder. You are stronger than him. He can not break you."

I know he meant it. But I couldn't believe any of that, not after watching a family get slaughter just because I didn't pick them.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "I thought you were going to try and get some rest,"- I said as JJ walked to me in silence. I made myself my hundredth cup of coffee, and she just showed up next to me, trying to engage in conversation, I guess.

- "Everybody else is working. I should be too."

- "We can handle it,"- I whispered and refused to look at her. I swear I was trying not to hate her, but it was getting harder and harder with every hour that passed without finding Reid.

- "It's funny, I keep thinking the one thing we need to crack this case is... well... Reid"- she chuckled, nervously and I just looked at her and nodded. I didn't even smile. I didn't move a muscle.

I didn't want to be with her, or anyone, as a matter of fact. And I wasn't going to hide it anymore. So I tried to walk away.

- "You think Reid and I should have stayed together at the barn, don't you?"

I stopped walking and looked at her. You could tell she was having a hard time facing the whole situation, and most of all, you could tell she felt guilty.

That really didn't stop me from being mad at her. I was trying to be the better woman during the investigation, but the uncertainty was getting on my nerves.

- "JJ, go get some rest,"- I tried to answer calmly, but I knew I was looking at her like she was dead to me.

- "I can tell that's what you are thinking, so..."

- "I just wanna get Spencer home safe."

- "But... if I had his back like I was supposed to do, he'd be here now"- and that was enough.

- "JJ, what the fuck do you want from me?"

- "I just...."- she was about to cry, you could tell- "I want someone to tell me the truth."

- "You want the truth? Ok, there you go: I would have never left him alone. None of this would have happened if I had been the one with him out there! 'cos I would never let anyone or anything hurt him!!"

I shouted. All the anger I had been feeling those days was finally getting off my chest. And fuck, it felt good.

- "You fucked it up, JJ, and if something happens to Spencer, I am never going to forgive you, never!"

JJ bit her lips, trying her best not to cry. But I still couldn't feel sorry for her.

- "Is that the truth you were looking for?"

- "(Y/L/N)?"- Hotch stood next to me with the most annoyed look in his eyes.

I knew I was out of line, but this wasn't about work anymore. This was personal. This was Reid we were talking about, and JJ had fucked it up. There was nothing to discuss.

- "What? You sent him with her, now she is here, and he isn't. What else is there to say?"

- "(Y/N)!"- Hotch followed me as I stormed out of the kitchen and out of the cabin- "(Y/N)! stop!"

- "What?!"- and I simply snapped- "Are you gonna suspend me for telling her the truth? Are you going to fire me for losing my shit while working a case!? Fine! I don't care! I don't give a fuck! All I care about right now is that my best friend is missing, and a fucking psychopath has him! That's all I can think of. That's all I've been thinking about for the last two days!"

I was yelling at Hotch. I was yelling at my unit chief. I was fucked. I knew he was going to fire me after that. But I couldn't help it. I was going insane. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I held my cup of coffee tight, holding onto it with my life.

- "(Y/N), we are all worried about Reid."

- "I know you are all worried. I am too, and I'm also afraid and mad and going fucking insane knowing I am standing here not knowing what to do to save him."

- "That doesn't give you the right to treat JJ like this is her fault"- I don't know if he was talking like my unit chief or like a father figure trying to end a fight between two of his kids.

- "Did she stay with Reid?"- I simply replied and looked at Hotch in the eyes- "Did she?"

- "She is not the only one who feels guilty, so do I. And I know I won't forgive myself if anything happens to Reid."

Hotch made a pause and tried to find a way to say what he wanted to say. The door opened, and Gideon walked to us. He knew what was going on, and he didn't say a thing. I was sure he had already heard everything. We weren't actually arguing quietly.

- "We are not getting any closer,"- Aaron finally said.

- "Reid is brilliant. He'll figure out how to survive"- Gideon's words were way more hopeful than my thoughts. In my mind, Reid was too scared to think of a way to escape.

- "You know, I always take advantage of Reid for his brain. But I never actually teach him how to deal with things emotionally."

Hotch whispered, and his words were filled with regret. I was filled with anger and anxiety, and I know the two of them felt the same. But they way better at handling their feelings.

- "Lead by example,"- Jason answered, probably trying to make him feel better.

- "What kind of example is that?"- I simply replied, and both of them stayed in silence.

I don't think my words helped Hotch, but I wasn't trying to do that either. I was just honest. And Hotch's emotional assistance was shit on the field. Even Gideon was better.

- "He'll make it,"- Jason reassured us and nodded- "Now stop arguing and go back to work."

Spencer's point of view

I was glad when Tobias came to me that night with a needle in his hand and put the drug into my vein. I needed some release after watching a family die 'cos I didn't save them.

- "I'm sorry I had to leave"- he excused himself, preparing the drug next to me.

- "You can leave again, and you can take me with you,"- I begged in a soft voice.

- "My father would be angry,"- he replied and didn't even look at me. This time, I didn't even argue when he wrapped the belt around my arm. I was even a little eager he'd do it faster.

- "Not if he can't find us."

- "He always finds me."

- "If you tell me where we are, my friends will come, and they'll save us."

He gave me a look, mixed with horror and resignation. It broke my heart to think for a moment of all the horrors that lead Tobias to be as sick as he was.

- "We can't be saved,"- he simply replied.

- "We can, we can, I promise. If you tell me where we are, I'll save us both."

- "Listen to me. It's not worth fighting."

Somehow, I understood why he said that. I was afraid and shaking but still did my best not to think of all the pain I was in, of the terror that haunted me day and night.

- "Tell me it doesn't make it better- he said and showed me the needle."

I couldn't say no, 'cos he was right. It did. The drugs made his horrible situation bearable. I could understand why someone decided to use something to avoid the pain. I had faced all and each one of the pain and horrors in my life sober. It was time life was a little bit sweeter, in a sick way.

I remembered being twelve. Mom had had one of her episodes the day before, she was in bed, and I woke her up. I walked into her room and opened the curtains. It was already five in the afternoon, and she still refused to get out of bed.

- "The doctor says you need to get out of bed,"- I argued when she repeated she was just resting.

- "I've been reading"

- "He says you need exercise"- she sighed and tried to make a joke.

- "That's because his idea of good literature is Our bodies, ourselves."

- "Well, he is your doctor."

- "He is a neanderthal"- I gave up and started walking out of the room. She just laid in bed and looked at me.

- "Where are you going?"

- "I'm going to see if Jeff wants to play"- Jeff was our next-door neighbor and my only friend growing up.

- "Come here. Let me read to you."

I know Garcia made fun of me when I said my mother used to read me Valentine's sonnets when I was a kid. Most people think I have a weird relationship with mom, but they don't understand what it was like growing up with her. They don't know what it was like for a twelve-year-old boy to finish high school, facing bullies. Handling the pressure of being a kid genius and the fact I had to take care of a schizophrenic mother.

How come I didn't start using drugs earlier?

I remember that afternoon I sat next to my mother, and she made me pick one of the many books she had with her on the bed. I choose Proust. I knew she loved it. I loved it as well.

"For a long time, I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, my eyes would close so quickly that I had not even time to say, "I'm going to sleep."

I can still hear her voice, reading to me. Both of us avoided reality for a while, hiding in the books. I always do it regardless. I hide in the books to forget. I hide in knowledge to avoid acknowledging the real personal issues I have. I hide in my work saving people when no one ever saved me.

I work catching psychopaths when I know I might actually have a mental issue myself. I might end up just like mom, and it frightens me so much; there are many nights I can't even close an eye. If I get sick too, then no one will take care of her. I am the only one in her life. And she is the only one in mine.

She and (Y/N), but there is no way my best friend would ever take care of me if I got sick. Not because she wouldn't want to do it, but because I would never let her. I don't want to be a burden in her life. And she would hate me, I know. And I could never live in a world where (Y/N) hates me. Not then, not now.

(Y/N). She is the best thing that happened to me in the BAU. Yes, I had a family with my team, but she was different. She was my life. She was the reason why I smiled. She was the one person that made me feel I was important to someone. I knew the rest of my friend loved me, but I loved her.

That was it. I loved (Y/N). And I was scared I was never going to see her again.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I was standing next to Penelope. She kept trying to force me to eat. She knew I was living on coffee, but I just couldn't swallow anything. She held my hand as the two of us stared at the screens, hopefully waiting for Hankel to make contact again.

- "Any more signs of Reid?"- JJ walked over to us slowly and looked at me, afraid I might snap on her again. I just shook my head and sighed, doing my best to be nice to her.

- "He just posted the last murder online."

- "It had over 17 thousand hits in the first twenty minutes,"- Penelope added, and her voice was so full of revulsion. It was clear she couldn't handle the horror in the human mind.

- "I want to see it,"- JJ said, and I frowned, confused.

- "No, you don't,"- Garcia answered and looked at me- "Come on, munchkin, just eat one cookie, please."

- "Don't tell me what I want and don't want!"- JJ's tone shocked us both. She was severe and angry. She was rude at Penelope, and for a second, I almost snapped again.

- "If I can't watch this..."- JJ whispered and glued her eyes on the screen- "I have no business being in the field."

She looked at me when she was done talking, and for once during those awful days, I felt some kind of compassion for her. She had to be feeling like shit, no doubt, and no matter how mad I was at her, she was still my friend, and I didn't want her to suffer either.

- "JJ, it's not a competition,"- I tried to say in the softest voice possible.

- "I... I need to see it."

- "If you stop being affected by things, you lose parts of yourself, you know."

It was somehow ironic that I was the one saying those things. Me of all people in that team. Me, the one who was afraid the most of losing herself in work.

- "Show me"- she finally looked at Garcia, ignoring my words, and Penelope pleased her. She pushed play and simply said

- "I won't watch this with you."

García held my hand, walking me out of the room, leaving JJ alone in the room. She sighed and wiped the tears that started falling down her eyes.

- "I don't know how you do it either"- she whispered- "I don't know how you watch those things every day and don't go insane."

- "If it makes you feel better, I don't know how I do either, and it scared me to think my heart might be numbing with each case we solve. With every psychopath we catch."

- "We are gonna find him"- she assured me and held my hands tight- "We are bringing him home safe, I swear."

- "Let's go find Gideon,"- I said, nodding at her words- "He needs to know Tobias posted the last murder."

Jason was mad, beyond furious. He was losing it. Derek and Prentiss kept trying to crack Hankel and discover where he had taken Reid. Meanwhile, Garcia, Gideon, and I made our best to take the video of the murder from the web.

- "I have a list of everyone from the file-sharing chain. I could send out a mass warning that the video is actually a virus,"- Garcia said and started typing as fast as possible. I just stared at the screen, waiting for something, anything to happen.

But I wasn't waiting for what came next.

- "Confess your sins"- Hankel's voice made me jump, and the sight of Reid, still tied to that chair, bleeding, and being tortured, broke my heart again.

- "Confess!!"- that sick psychopath shouted and hit him.

- "I haven't done anything,"- Spencer sobbed, but it was useless. Hankel kept punching him, over and over again, even when my best friend begged for mercy.

I felt Jason hold my hand as I was holding Garcia's. The three of us felt powerless, useless, angry, and scared, all at the same time. I couldn't bear to watch Reid being tortured, but at the same time, I was so glad he was still alive.

That until Hankel beat him so hard, he pushed him back in the chair, and Reid started convulsing.

- "He is killing him,"- Penelope cried, and I closed my eyes, biting my lips. Spencer was choking, and that mother fucker just stood there, watching him die.

- "That's the devil vacating your body"- he spit those words as Reid simply passed out. I didn't know if he was dead. I didn't know if he was going to make it. Shit! I didn't know anything.

I let go of Jason and Penelope and stormed out of the room. I was unprofessional, and I knew it, but I knew I would quit if anything happened to Reid. I wasn't going to stay working at the BAU if Spencer died.

- "Are you ok?"- Derek grabbed my arm. I just broke into tears and held him tight. He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry.

- "He's dying! We can't find him!!"- I sobbed against his chest.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)!"- I heard Penelope yelling as we all rushed back to the computer room. Hankel was giving CPR to Reid, trying to bring him back to life.

- "Come on, come on, please,"- I begged as I watched him pushing his chest over and over again until Spencer woke up, gasping for air.

- "Thank God!"- Hotch sighed and rubbed his hands against his face. The whole team let out a breath of relief simultaneously, and I kept watching Reid. His opened eyes gave me hope.

- "Wait,"- Prentiss said suddenly- "When was the video of the last murder posted?"

- "Nine thirty"- Penelope answered

- "And when was the time of death?"

- "The 911 call came in at 9:04, and the murder must have been moments later."- Hotch added and didn't even turn to look at Prentiss. We were all still shocked looking at the screen.

- "That's just a 19 minutes difference,"- I said and turned to García- "How long would it take to post that file?"

- "Two or three minutes."

- "Let's call it two,"- I said, getting excited- "You figure a maximum of 60 miles an hour in a residential area. That means Hankel has to be within a 17-mile radius of the crime scene."

For a second, I felt I was rambling facts just like Reid would. It made me miss him even more.

- "García, can we see it on the map?"- Aaron whispered. He was clearly affected, and it also made me feel selfish, knowing I had made a tantrum with the whole team, forgetting they were suffering as well.

- "Call chief Farraday"- Jason commanded as soon as we saw the map of the area on the screen- "I want that area locked down like it's martial law."

JJ stood up and grabbed her phone but didn't make the call. García warned us something was going on with Reid and all of us stared at the screen in silence.

Spencer was on his back on the floor, still tied to a chair. It was clear he wasn't fully conscious of what was happening.

- "You came back to life,"- mother fucker Hankel said, spitting the words in anger.

- "Raphael,"- Reid whispered, recognizing one of his personalities.

- "There can be only one of two reasons."

- "I was given CPR,"- my friend whispered, but it was clear that wasn't one of the psycho's options.

- "There are no accidents. How many members of our team are watching us right now?"

- "Seven."

- "The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail, and they were thrown to the earth."

- "He thinks it's the revelations"- Hotch explained- "The seven archangels versus the seven angels of death."

I didn't know much about religion, but it didn't take a genius to figure out he didn't believe we were the good guys.

- "Tell me who you serve."

- "I serve you,"- Reid answered right away. His voice was a whisper. He had to be exhausted.

- "Then choose one to die"

- "What?!"

- "Your team members, choose one to die"- I knew what he was going to answer at that, and I didn't want to hear it.

- "Kill me,"- he replied immediately, and I closed my eyes, unable to watch what would happen next.

- "You said you weren't one of them."

- "I lied."

- "Your team has seven other members. Tell me who dies."

- "No"- Penelope gasped, and Prentiss cursed. I opened my eyes and nearly fainted. Hankel had a gun pointed against Reid's forehead.

The silence amongst the team was unbearable. Neither of us knew what to do. We were all panicking, praying, desperate.

- "Choose and prove you'll do God's will."

- "No."

Neither of us moved. Neither of us breathed until Hakel pulled the trigger, and no bullet came out. I nearly sigh, but it wasn't over.

- "Choose"- he repeated

- "I won't do it"- Hankel didn't even wait. He just pulled the trigger, and we all jumped at the same time. He was safe again.

- "Life is a choice."

- "No,"- Reid repeated once again. And Hankel pulled the trigger for the third time.

- "Choose"- and for the first time, Spencer made a pause. Was going to pick one of us to die?

- "I choose"- the whispered- "Aaron Hotchner."

Derek and I looked at him, and his pale face didn't move a muscle.

- "He's the classic narcissist. He thinks he's better than everyone else on the team. Genesis 23:4 "Let him not deceive himself, and trust in emptiness, vanity falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense."

Hotch stormed out of the room as Hankel pulled the trigger one more time and shot the wall.

I felt I was going to puke. If Reid hadn't picked one of us, he would be dead.

- "For God's will,"- the mother fuck said, as he put another bullet in the gun after removing the casing.

I couldn't look anymore. I followed Gideon and Derek to find Aaron going through all Tobias's diaries on the table.

- "I'm not a narcissist,"- he said as soon as he saw us.

- "Come on. Look, you can't think anything from that"- Jason tried to calm him down, in case he was somehow affected by what Reid had just said on camera- "He is not in his right mind, Hotch."

- "No, stop, stop. Alright, everybody, right now: what's my worst quality?"

He had to be kidding. We all stared at him, muted, lost in that conversation. What was his point? Neither of us said a word. We just looked at each other, confused and awkward.

- "Ok, I'll start. I have no sense of humor."

- "You are a bully,"- JJ added.

- "You can be a drill sergeant sometimes,"- I said, and he nodded.

- "Right."

- "You don't trust women as much as men"- you could feel it in Prentiss's voice. That one was personal.

- "Ok, good. I'm all these things, but none of you said that I ever put myself above the team because I don't, ever. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism, and he knew that I would remember that. He also quoted Genesis chapter 23, verse 4. Read it."

Hotch gave me the book. He wasn't even breathing as she spoke. He was in a hurry. We were all.

- "I'm a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead of my sight."

- "He wouldn't get it wrong unless it were on purpose."

- "He is in a cemetery."- I said and looked at him. He nodded, and I swear to God, I saw a slight smile on his lips. That smile was hope. We were getting closer.

Spencer's point of view

I took a sip of water. I hadn't drunk in days, and my throat burned. I was still a little lost, still a little off.

- "Tobias, is that you?"- I saw him nod, sitting next to me. He moved the cup of water closer so that I could drink some more.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and looked at him- You saved my life- he stared down at the ground and finally whispered

- "I'm sorry."

- "Why?"

- "He'll win in the end."

It was sad to see Tobias Hankel's good person locked inside a sick mind that also held a psychopath like his father.

- "Tobias, I need to know something. It's important. Are we in a cemetery?"- and he nodded. I smiled at him and sighed, relieved. Help was coming. My team was coming.

- "I used to come here to get high."

- "I was right."

- "No one bothers you here. I never told anyone about it."

He wrapped his belt around my arm, and I turned to him, still smiling. I didn't know if I were happy I was right or glad I would get high again. Maybe both. Maybe the second 'cos the minute that needle got to my vein, that sweet, sweet release felt like a bath of joy that washed away any pain, regret, or guilt I could have ever felt.

Guilt. I've had my share of that. I remember the day I had my mom admitted to the hospital. She hadn't eaten in days. She wouldn't take care of herself, and they're just so much I could do. I wasn't able to keep her safe from herself, from her mind.

- "What are these men doing here?"- she asked me as I walked with two nurses into the study. She was writing and reading. It was all she did, preparing lectures for classes she didn't have to give, in imaginary campuses.

I stood in front of her and hesitated for a second. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, telling mom I was taking her away from her own house.

- "They are from the hospital. They are here to help,"- I whispered and looked at my mother's confused expression. She was so thin. She looked so sick. I felt so guilty I couldn't do better for her.

- "I don't need help, and you can't be here without permission, tell them, Spencer."

She looked down at her books again and tried to continue writing. I took a deep breath, I knew I would break her heart, but there was nothing else I could do.

- "I called them"- she looked at me in pain. Deep, honest pain. Like I had just shattered her heart. Which I had done.

- "Spencer"- she simply whispered and stared into my eyes, begging for an explanation. I was trying my best not to cry. I had a whole speech prepared. I was going to tell her how much I loved her. I was going to explain to her how good it was for her to be in a place where someone could continuously take care of her. I had facts and statistics, but all I managed to say was:

- "I'm doing this for you."

And I felt like a liar. 'Cos, there was a part of me that was doing it for myself too.

- "This isn't legal"- she shook her head in shock and kept trying to find a good explanation to what was going on.

- "Your son is eighteen, ma'am. He can act in your welfare,"- one of the make nurses explained to her.

- "You need help,"- I said and prayed she could understand. But she just burst into tears and begged.

- "I wanna stay here!"

- "I'm... sorry, mom."

- "Please, these are my things, this is my life..."

Those men took her. They took her from her house and put her in a hospital. No. I put her there. I put my mom in a hospital so I could live my life, 'cos I am selfish and couldn't take care of her anymore.

- "Spencer, please, don't do this to me."

Those were the words that haunted me day and night. And my mother's crying face, begging me not to take her from her own house.

What kind of a son am I? I did that to her. I put her in a mental place 'cos I couldn't deal with her disease anymore. 'Cos I didn't know how to take care of her.

- "What are you sorry for, boy?"- I heard Hankel ask when I woke up. I was muttering, "Sorry" as I came back from my trip.

- "I sent her away."

- "Who."

- "My mom. I couldn't help her."

- "Is that a confession?"- I nodded and looked around, confused. Lost. High- "You know the bible. Exodus 21:17"

- "And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death,"- I whispered, scared and full of regret.

I heard him walk towards me. He kneeled and uncuffed me. I didn't know what was happening. Honestly, I was still too high to get what was going on around me.

- "Grab a shovel,"- he commanded and walked outside.

I was too weak to dig fast. I don't know how I was actually moving, but I was digging my own grave. I never thought I would ever end up doing such a thing. It's not something you think about, actually. Not unless you work in the BAU. Here, you start analyzing and considering the way you'll die: 'Cos you could, every day.

- "I ought to bury you alive in there, give you some time to think about what you've done,"- Hankel said and looked at me while I worked, playing with a knife.

- "I know what I've done."

- "Don't talk back to me! Dig!"

I pant and kept moving, very slowly, trying to buy myself some time too. I was sure the team was coming to get me any minute now. I was counting on them, though the more I thought about it, the less worthy of salvation I felt. Maybe I deserved to die after all.

I was almost certain I had seen some lights moving in the back. Flashlights. But it could be my mind playing tricks on me. I was too tired. And still too high, too.

- "Dig faster!"- he commanded me as I moved, losing my breath.

- "I'm not strong enough"- I cried, 'cos I felt like that. Like a failure, a child that aimed to be a grown-up and failed miserably. A bad son. The worst agent. A fake that deserved to die.

- "You are all weak!! Get out of there!"

Hankel took off his coat and left it on the ground. I slowly moved so he could dig for me, but the lights in the back took my attention, and he noticed. As soon as he turned around, I quickly grabbed his coat and reached out for the gun.

- "You've only got one bullet, son,"- he said as he looked at me. And I just pulled the trigger.

I shot him. I killed him. Hankel. Raphael. Tobias. I freed Tobias. Or at least, that is what I wanted to think.

- "Reid!!"- I heard (Y/N) yelling as I crawled to Tobia's body. He was still awake. He was himself.

- "You killed him"- he said, and he was relieved- "Do you think I'll get to see my mom again?"

- "I'm sorry,"- I whispered, and he was gone.

- "Reid!!"

(Y/N) yelled and ran over. She kneeled next to me and held me in her arms. I couldn't move, because for a few seconds, I couldn't believe she was real. She was there.

- "Honey, honey, are you ok? Can you hear me?"- she said, and tears started falling from her eyes- "Honey, it's me."

I just looked at her and hugged her. I hugged her as my life depended on it. There she was, next to me, finally.

- "I thought I was never going to see you again,"- I whispered and sobbed.

The urge to kiss her filled my whole body. I needed to taste her. I needed to show her how much I had needed her those days. But I knew I couldn't.

I didn't want to let her go. I didn't for a few minutes. I just hold onto her for my sanity. She kissed my forehead, cupping my face with both hands.

- "I'm so happy to see you. I'm glad you are ok... let's go to the ambulance, ok?"- I nodded but didn't let her go. I felt I could hold her forever. I wanted to keep her close for as long as I lived.

But the rest of the team gathered around us, and I wanted to thank them too. I needed to thank Hotch. So as soon as I let (Y/N) go, I wrapped my arms around him.

- "You alright?"- he asked me.

- "I knew you'd understand,"- I managed to say with tears falling from my eyes and a knot in my throat.

For a moment, I thought I was never going to see the team again. My family.

JJ held me close and apologized. I knew she felt guilty for leaving me alone, but I was the only one culpable for what had happened. I wanted to prove myself, and all I managed to do was prove I was a fool. A useless SSA.

- "It's alright, it wasn't your fault,"- I said and did my best to smile at her. But I know I failed. Gideon grabbed my arm and nodded.

- "Let's get you out of here."

- "Please,"- I whispered before we started walking- "Can I have a second alone?"- he looked at me and nodded, looking at Tobias' body lying by our side. He walked away, and I kneeled next to my capturer.

But instead of paying my respects, instead of cursing. Instead of anything, I took the Dilaudid bottles from his pocket and put them into mine.

And that's how the real hell started.

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @svveet-peas @muffin-cup @shilohpug

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962

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Next update: May 5th, 2021

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