#copypasta sort of

[surging-eyes-seeing-through]

To our dear normal Apollo,

We should build you a castle and dress you up in very lavish and stylish purple and red clothes, from wool and silk made in Arabia from a skilled tailor. We should don you with a golden crown made from the finest lazuli, gold and diamond. We should make you wear rings made of gold and emerald to symbolise your royalty. We should spoil you with feasts made for only the greatest emperors. Pheasant everyday, and chicken on the weekends, seasoned with spices imported from India and China. We should make you sit on a golden throne, and not on an office chair. We should make you hold a sceptre that symbolises your sense of justice and authority. We should make you sleep on a bed made only from the finest silk imported from the middle east. We should baptise you so you can have the lord's blessing on your countless wars against the enemies of the empire. We should be forced to call you "your Highness", "your Majesty", "my Liege", "my Lord". We should make you have an entire army follow you, so we can sleep peacefully at night knowing that our beloved prince is safe and at peace. We should celebrate your birthday at the center of the town, where only the finest orchestras and musicians will be invited to sing of your achievements and victories, with plenty of wine and food.

You, my sweet prince, son of a siren and travelling bard, shall be treated like royalty.

"...I sincerely hope you didn't actually write that all out for me."

[yusukeurameshie]

I highly recommend joining your local town's Facebook groups, about 80% of it will be trash but occasionally you get absolute gems like this

[sad-leon]

HELPPPP- I JUST RAN A HUMAN OVER WITH MY BIKEEEE😭😭😭 WHAT DO I DOOO💀💀💀

....?

[solidwater05]

Look at you, still scrolling when there's work to do. When I look in here, it makes me glad I'm not you. You've got information to learn, there is research to be done, for as long as you are still alive.

Anon. Anon you're aware that when I'm not on Tumblr I'm reading or watching educational videos on nuclear technology right.

[bi-biscuit]

I lied. I don't actually like sex. Put your clothes back on, I'm gonna explain the entire plot of The Bright Sessions, The AM Archives, The College Tapes, A Neon Darkness, The Infinite Noise and Some Faraway Place to you.

[elektroyu]

Omg I just spent like 2 entire days trying to figure out how to access my shop again after it wouldn't let me just re-install it in my webspace because of changed php requirements. My old version store requires an outdated php version which my provider doesn't support anymore. How it even worked up until May is beyond me, but I digress.

So! Made it work finally by installing older versions of everything locally on my pc (also on Linux, I honestly applaud myself for that feat XD).

Now. Since I can't just go back to the older version because of the php problem, the question is how to go about getting all the info from my old shop into the new version. The issue is that the databases aren't compatible anymore either 🙄 So do I transfer everything manually via good ol' copypasta (takes ages, but shouldn't cause any issues) ooor do I try to upgrade the locally installed shop gradually to the new version and then transfer everything to the live shop (could be quicker, but the risk of breaking all sorts of things is pretty high tbh... Prestashop is not for the faint of heart (but it's free so I chose it anyway)). Decisions, decisions...

[popponn]

people who spill their feelings in the reblogs, people who put praises in the tags and comments even though you guys don't have to, people who give feedbacks i love you

[lume-nosity]

Who are you talking to right now? Who is it that you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I tell you, you wouldnt believe it. Do you know what happens if I suddenly decide to stop going into work? A business big enough it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly-up. Gone. It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly dont know who youre talking to so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skylar. I am the danger. A guy opens his front door and gets shot, and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks.

….pardon?

[etruski]

Damn tankies really hate Estonians

[nexus-nebulae]

I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT: Grian the Introject is a bitch ass motherfucker, he messed up my fucking storage system. That's right, he took his little gremlin hands and he messed up my fucking storage system, and he said the mess was "this big" and i said that's inconvenient, so I'm making a callout post on my tumblr dot com,

[loop-loremaster]

It's been 13 hours without Fortnite. I cannot walk without trembling, and I dont think I can even get up from my seat anymore. earlier I felt like I was going through withdrawal symptoms but its more than real now. I can't go much longer without Fortnite, I can barely breathe and im hyperventilating imagining what the new chapter is like 😱😱 I don't know how much longer I can last here without Fortnite as i stare at this queue screen and browse twitter for hours for leaks. idk what I'm going to do man,,, Fortnite is my life. Fortnite is my passion, it's what I enjoy playing AND I might as well BE the fortnite....... I will skip school tomorrow juuuust so I can play the new chapter and grind the challenges. Why did they do this to me plz im the numba one fortnite plzz bring the servers back up pluueeaasee 💔💔💔 😭

[irbcallmefynn]

If you or a loved one is some sort of creature, you may be entitled to pets and scritches.

It's me I'm some sort of creature and am entitled to pets and scritches :3

[hurricanewindattack]

you are one miserable pathetic little clown aren’t you. i

I'm getting fan mail 🥰

[admonitio]

WHY has GRIAN, who in my opinion is not great at PvP, beaten me by 20 places in the Tumblr top 100 web celebs of 2023, yet I have NEVER finished ahead of him in Buildmart. It is disproportionate to the rest of the games statistically!!!

Web Celebs

Minecraft streamers, Dropout stars, and D&D enthusiasts, all in one neat and tidy list.

Grian

GoodTimesWithScar

Hatsune Miku

Ryan Bergara

Shane Madej

Wilbur Soot

Brennan Lee Mulligan

Jerma

TommyInnit

Philza

Quackity

Solidarity Gaming

Crumb

EthosLab

Technoblade

TangoTek

PearlescentMoon

Ranboo

SmallishBeans

Mumbo Jumbo

Dreamwastaken

Slimecicle

Zombiecleo

BdoubleO100

Inthelittlewood

impulseSV

Tubbo

Smajor1995

Laura Bailey

Docm77

Markiplier

Marisha Ray

GeorgeNotFound

Lou Wilson

Cellbit

Amaury Guichon

BadBoyHalo

Joe Hills

GeminiTay

Skizzleman

Rendog

Maia Arson Crimew

Sam Reich

Ashley Johnson

Matthew Mercer

Jaiden Animations

Foolish Gamers

Aabria Iyengar

Zac Oyama

FalseSymmetry

Siobhan Thompson

Emily Axford 

Sam Riegel

Travis Willingham

B. Dylan Hollis

Sapnap

LDShadowLady

Alan Becker

Jacksepticeye

Brian Murphy

Taliesin Jaffe

Bigbst4tz2

Jenna Marbles

F1nn5ter

Daniel Howell

El Mariana

Thomas Sanders

Baghera Jones

AmazingPhil

Kagamine Rin

Wayneradiotv

Hbomberguy

Shubble

Tom Cardy

Sneegsnag

Isabella Roland

CrankGameplays

Chris Fleming

Niki Nihachu

TinaKitten

Aimsey

Steven Lim

Karl Jacobs

Eret

Brian David Gilbert

Jschlatt

Misstrixtin

Adrian Bliss

Jack Manifold

Awesamdude

Kagamine Len

SnapCube

Punz

Skweezy Jibbs

Megurine Luka

Aphmau

Julien Solomita

Rhett and Link

Colleen Ballinger

Bigolas Dickolas Wolfwood

This is a newly-combined list! Yay!

[powdermelonkeg]

List of Tumblr things that would NOT get the Tumblr devs eaten alive for changing the website (Tumblr please take notes)

We're changing how moderation works: Reporting blogs at a certain threshold (maybe 1000 unique reports) gets it sent to a human person for manual review. Nobody gets deleted without a human pulling the kill switch.

Refined search engine: There's a new button you can press when searching a term that lets you exclude certain tags, sort by date posted/most likes/etc. Also you can refine it to include only results from certain users. It's the Ao3 system. Please I'm begging you Tumblr's search is so broken and hides so many works behind an arbitrary cap. You can't tell me there are only 3000 posts about Zelda over the 10+ years this site has been alive, you CAN'T.

Theme on/off switch on page: Themes are an integral part of Tumblr. You can HTML things to death. But sometimes they're illegible to some people, so instead of having to swap "powdermelonkeg.tumblr.com" to "tumblr.com/powdermelonkeg" manually, there's a sliding toggle at the top of the blog that allows you to quickly switch between them.

Filterable asks: You can set blocked terms so people can't send you them in your ask box. For example, if I don't want to see anything about "weather," nobody can ask me anything that includes the word "weather." And if there's a scam/copypasta sort of thing going around, you can block entire paragraphs of text.

Mutual icons beside usernames on posts: Same as it is in the Activity tab, you can now see if someone who put something on your dash is a mutual or not.

Search followers/following letter-by-letter: No longer do you have to type in "powdermelonkeg" spelled exactly correctly to see if you're following powdermelonkeg, you can just type in "powd" and all users except "powdermelonkeg," "powderpuffgirls," "expowd" etc will be filtered out. (I MADE THESE USERNAMES UP EXCEPT MINE. I DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE)

Toggleable See Results: You asked, we heard, you can now decide when making a poll whether or not people should be allowed to see the results before they've voted.

Block Specific Posts: Sometimes something's so icky it makes your stomach turn. Sometimes you're just sick of all your mutuals reblogging the same meme. Block a post without blocking OP.

[themagicmusicman]

WAKE UP BABES NEW COPYPASTA JUST DROPPED

*ahem*

ULYSSES. DIES. AT DAWN!! At least, that's the word on the street from those that saw what went down at Calypso's,,,, now, listen up! 'Cause we've got a labyrinthine twisted task of a tale to tell; and if you don't keep up, you might get lost. First, to understand how this all goes down, you've got to know a little about the planet we're talking of. See, on this planet there was a city, *grim* old city, sort of place the rain beats down like coffin nails 'n' the air wafts with the cigarette stench of betrayal. My. Kind of. Town. Now this city, *grim* old city, it starts to grow,,, and when it meets with other towns, other cities, it takes them into itself, absorbs them, until soon enough, there's no land left. So the city spreads outwards into the sea, and when there's no sea left, the sea spreads upwards into the *sky*, and when there is No. Sky. Left. It burrows inwards, like a cancer into the bowels of the planet. And eventually, there is *Nothing. But. The City.* And so, generations live and generations die in the warrens and the tunnels, and even the lower levels of the surface. And they never see the sun. And it's in one of the deepest, most secret of these tunnels that we meet our hero- goes by the name of *Ulysses!* Currently beaten, battered, bloody, unbowed. Spits out a mouthful of teeth and disdain and looks up to see four of the meanest bastards of the meanest streets of the meanest parts of the city, all immaculately turned out in pinstripes. We'll call them the Suits. You might ask how we came to such a pass, I know Ulysses is. Well, it started in a bar, as these things so often do. Calypso's, a run down old gin joint, pays its money to Dionysus. Our hero, slumped over a bottle of whiskey, trying to drown enough sorrows to choke a horse. And one horse in particular,,,,,,

you’re welcome 😊