#coping through fanfic? why yes
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pagegirlintraining · 3 months ago
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Just a regular Saturday at the YR office with @bigalockwood @iwouldnevergetintofanfic @skibasyndrome @gulliblelemon @purplehoodiesandclementines @sillylittleflower @omaremioo and our number one apprentice/simp supporter @alkalinetrios
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"Wanting to see goofy characters have a breakdown" hits different for Demetri Alexopoulos :O
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What appeals to me about whump: an incomplete list
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multi-fandomsfreak · 1 month ago
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Heya! I was wondering if you could make a lil fanfic of shadow the hedgehog and mobian!reader
where the reader has a fascination with death and everything morbid due to seeing and being in lots of tragedies and shadow is mostly unaware of this but finally starts noticing the reader’s obsessive like fascination with death and wants to confront them about it
Shadow With A Mobian!Reader Who Has A Fascination With Death
Hey there! Thanks for the ask!
Sorry it took kinda long to do this. Honestly kind of lost motivation to write stuff lately but I think it’s coming back. I don’t know. Regardless, I hope you like it.
Pronouns: Not Mentioned
Warning: ⚠️Mentions Of Death + Suicide (Not Actually Committing But Talks About Wanting To) + Spoilers For Shadow’s Backstory⚠️
Requested: Yes/No
Characters: Shadow + Mention Of Maria
Proofread: ❌
Credits: Art by CoffeeBearSama on Twitter/X + Banner by salintvll (Edited by me) on Pinterest
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- Honestly at first Shadow never noticed or asked about your obsession when it comes to death. He’s quite the loner so he doesn’t really indulge in anyone or their personal interests. That’s just what he’s like. Not that he’s completely dismissive of any of your interests, it's just his response to you telling him or him hearing about it is just ‘okay’. Maybe you could persuade him to join in but it may take a while but he does partake in it.
- Though eventually he does notice your interest in death. He might have heard it from someone else, maybe from you or he just so happened to discover it himself. At first admittedly he was a bit put off by it not outright it’s just he’s never really seen someone even remotely interested in death unless they’re willingly want to experience it. And to be honest even before he discovers how obsessed you were with it he’s still a little concerned that you want to end yourself so he decides to keep a close eye on you in case you actually do want to end yourself.
- However, his worry does become way worse when he slowly discovers how obsessed you actually were with it. He started to notice how you talked about it. The fact you were talking about it so casually, talking in depth about it makes him more concerned than when he discovered it. In his own way he’s genuinely worried about you. I feel like this kind of evolved from what happened to Maria that he feels compelled to make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else especially if he’s somewhat close with you.
- When he does confront you about it you may have to spend most of your time convincing him that you're okay. Honestly with the way you're talking about it he’s thinking you genuinely want to end yourself and he doesn’t want that. To him you’ve still got a lot to live for and you shouldn’t cut it short. It probably took a while for him to be convinced that you were alright. You’d probably have to explain how you gained interest in it, more specifically the shit you had to go through which made you like this.
- When you do tell him about the horrible tragedies that’s when it hits him about your obsessive fascination with death. Now he understands why you're like this. He does feel bad for you for experiencing the things you did and thinks that it must be a coping mechanism for you in a way. Even with you convincing him that it's genuinely an interest nothing more he’d still be concerned for you and tell you that if you ever need to talk he’d be there for you and listen to what you need to say.
- I do kind of feel like Shadow would be kind of interested in a way. Not like how you are, I have a feeling it’s mostly for confirmation or reassurance. It’s not that big of a surprise that he’s greatly affected by the death of Maria, someone who he’s undoubtedly the closest with. Even if a lot of time has gone by since it deep down even if he doesn’t want to admit it he still wishes that she was still alive and misses her greatly. With your interest in death he may go up to you and ask about it. He really would like your opinion about it though at first not going in that great detail about it. Even though he claims he is not interested in it he kind of wants confirmation that she’d be alright and is proud of him.
- Oddly enough, having these talks with you is very comforting for him. He finds himself being more calm about his feelings when it comes to death himself. I think the fact that he doesn’t have to bottle them up like he usually does and is free to just let it out. As soon as he’s done ranting he can feel himself just relax as he thanks you for letting him talk about it. He likes having these moments with you and he really appreciates you listening to him and the other way round.
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the-100-days-of-junkan · 25 days ago
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Day 90
Alright. So you might be thinking, pondering, desperately contemplating to yourself a simple question.
“JEM. WHAT THE FUCK??? WHY????” And I hear you, I get it, it’s a lot to take in out of nowhere and that’s the point. Sit with me, peer into the biohazard that is in my brain as I explain to you why in the name of all that’s good I made a fucking Music Video.
So last time on the 100 Days of Junkan, for Day 80 I got very silly and animated a gif of Junko and Mikan kissing. And as I keep saying over and over again, every 10 pics I wanted to go BIGGER. And maybe this is just the brainrot causing all of my mental functions to degrade past the point of no return, but the only way up at this point was in fact a music video.
But surely I couldn’t. I mean, I only have that single gif as experience with animation! How the fuck could I try and put myself through a process that I have absolutely no experience making something as ambitious as a Music Video! I’ll have to do something else. But then.
I had a thought, a small thought, an evil little thought that wormed its way into my head and didn’t leave.
“Okay. But wouldn’t it be really funny if you sent a full Junkan music video to Val without any warning?” That was it. I was beaten, I couldn’t counter that. The sheer comedic shock value of keeping my wonderful oomfie, the one who has helped motivate me through this entire project, who has given amazing responses to all of these pics as I made them, completely in the dark over this, and then finally with no context, or warning, or even a hint, dropping a fucking music video on her lap and running away like I’m pranking someones god damn doorbell. It was too much, even moreso considering I could do the same with ya’ll! 
You! My varied followers, the silent and the vocal, or even better the random fucking people who have been staring in confusion as the Junko and Mikan tag got flooded with art of these two kissing out of nowhere for like three fucking months. I had an opportunity to send everyone into surprise and confusion because why the fuck did I make a god damn music video??? How??? It was too fucking funny to pass up!
This is easily the most fucking bizarre thing I’ve done for the entire event! Did any of you think this was the path this would go down?? Did any of ya’ll see that I made a gif and think “Surely this scrawny white bitch also made a Music Video.” I doubt it! But if you did, my undying respect goes to you!
So here we are. A Music Video. A fucking Music Video, one which I now have to talk about. It took a full fucking page just to get to the point where I actually talk about it and this took me THREE MONTHS TO MAKE, spanning from May 8th to August 1st! 
So here’s what I’m gonna do. First, I’m gonna talk about MAKING this fucking thing, and then when I finish that I’m going to switch over to talking about the actual contents of the music video. This is going to get really messy and will probably go into tangents, but ya’ll have hopefully coped with the knowledge that this is going to be a lot of words by the time you hit the end of this sentence. (Future Jem here! I think this was actually shorter than Day 60) So without further delay-
The Making of Snow Fairy, a Junkan Music Video. Yes. Really.
So the first step of this was obviously, The Music. What song would I use for this? Well initially the plan was to animate something using the song “Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed.” And if that name sounds familiar, yes, it is the song that Val’s fic was named after. Now the idea wasn’t to adapt her fanfic into a music video (or at least it wasn’t the idea for more than 5 minutes). I was simply going to use this song to make a music video depicting a romantic journey with these two. So why not this song?
IT’S LIKE 6 FUCKING MINUTES. Not to jump ahead of myself here but I can’t make it any clearer for ya’ll, that Gif from Day 80??? That was it. That was all I had going into this. I didn’t do any other practice, I didn’t make anything else like that gif. I made that gif, took like two weeks to make Days 81-89, and jumped into a music video. And yes, that’s fucking stupid, but you’ve all learned by this point that I don’t make sensible choices. I draw women kissing, scream, and feel endless euphoria- I got so off topic already, sorry.
Anyway that’s a 6 minute song and I had very little experience, even I knew that wasn’t gonna be viable without driving my head into the wall from stress. And while the idea of me dialing it back sounds unheard of given my track record, I did in fact scale back massively.
So I pondered, and eventually came to a quite frankly obvious answer.
youtube
(Sorry I could only find an AI Upscaled version with interpolation)
Snow Fairy, the first opening of Fairy Tail, AKA, my favorite piece of fiction. And Snow Fairy is my favorite anime opening of all time, if not just straight up my favorite song ever. The fact that it wasn’t my first thought is a shock. Though that still brought on some questions.
Firstly. What version? Because yes I actually had options. I could either use the original song in Japanese, or the english cover by LeeandLie. I was close to picking the original version by Funkfist, but there was two issues. One, because it was in another language that means I would have had to taken the time to put in subtitles and keep them properly timed, which would have just been one more thing on an already massive workload. The second reason is also why I went with LeeandLie’s version, I just like the translation for the lyrics a bit more. At least in terms of how well I think it works for a Junkan Music Video. So we had the cover of the song I was gonna use, next question.
Full Song? Or the intro edit? Because the version used in the anime is obviously much shorter, and not just that actually includes the very end of the song pasted to a much earlier part of it. So if I wanted to use the shorter version I would have needed to actively edited the song.
After much thought I chose to ask my friend (and now current girlfriend) Yves to edit the song to match the intro version of Funkfists cover and worked from there. Because even if I would have loved to use the full song, that’s around 3 minutes, which for essentially a beginner sounds like fucking torture.
So I had a song around 1 minute and 28 seconds to work with. Much easier- WRONG. WRONG IT WAS STILL PAINFUL. WHY DID I DO THIS- Anyway.
We had our song! Now we had to make the actual video!
Step 1, I actually made a Storyboard, this is the smartest thing I will do during this entire process.
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As you can see from this lil joke doodle I made during the process, I didn’t even start the actual video before I had realized I had made a massive mistake, however I was of course going to persevere. The Storyboard took about, 2? 3 days? This is mostly because I had other work to prioritize, and I had to make sure I got this pretty solid. Here it is!
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(The file name for this has the phrase "Why god Why" btw)
As you can see it’s very, very professional. 
You can also see there were a few things cut or changed, and even stuff that wasn’t there in the first place. That’s because even if I was going into this with more of a plan compared to other parts of this, I still really had no idea what I was getting into nor how to do it. The scene of all the girls doing their hair was cut because it just seemed like an awkward space filler to try and mimic the actual Snow Fairy Intro animation. In hindsight I do wish I kept it or found a replacement rather than just extending the following scene. And yeah that scene had to be super extended so I could actually time things properly.
As for the scene at the end, the various art pieces flashing in the background (which I will talk about later) were done because I realized without them I had way too much dead air in the scene. I then took advantage of it to show a montage of time passing in the scene itself, of the things that differed from the storyboard that’s the one I’m happiest with.
Storyboard has passed so now I have to talk about making the video itself, i feel like i’ve said some variation of that sentence like 5 times now.
So do you want a fun fact? THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE ANIMATED! This was supposed to be an Animatic, and even that might not be the right word. This was supposed to be basically a storyboard with hints of motion, say for the intro with Monokuma which I always planned to properly animate given his simplistic design. Everything else was supposed to be much simpler.
And then I kept. Accidentally. TRYING TO ANIMATE IT. I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU EVEN DO THAT BY ACCIDENT! And like sure, none of it really gets as meticulous as the Monokuma, but I still ended up learning way more about animating things properly during this project because I just couldn’t help myself. It was always “Well just one more frame to make it look right. One more frame. Okay just another- Oh no.” This is the depths of hell this ship has dragged me to, and even if I haven’t had a chance to fully make use of what I learned here because I’ve been busy, Junkan somehow made me into a fucking animatory at least to the degree of a hobbyist. IF YOU TOLD ME THAT A FEW YEARS AGO I’D THINK YOU WERE LYING! Because if you asked me before this year about my opinion on animating, I’d tell you something around the lines of-
“God I wish I could, but I just don’t have the patience for that y’know?” I GUESS THAT DOESN’T MATTER WHEN IT'S A NICHE SHIP?? Mind you this was still when I was under the impression I was going to get backlash for all this, I didn’t care but I certainly thought it would come to me. The hold these two have on my brain is downright COMICAL.
And I’m sorry if I sound like this is me complaining at all, because I’m really not, I just get more excitable and whacked out during these more high effort projects. This ship has brought me immense joy on its own, and making this project despite the exhaustive work it took to do so has been so fulfilling in part thanks to being able to see the joy my work has brought all of you. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.
But you gotta fucking admit, this isn’t fucking normal right?? None of this is normal! And I don’t mean that in a “We’re all weirdos for liking this” kind of way I mean that in a “What the fuck is going on with me specifically” kind of thing because what is ANY of this?? I re-learned how to write (loosely at least), learned how to actually paint in my program, have developed a deeper understanding of both myself and how to portray expressions, have just generally gotten better at drawing cause of this, memorized these fucking designs almost perfectly (almost, i know there’s some small details of Junko’s design i leave out and Mikan’s apron can be a challenge at times), learned how to animate, LEARNED HOW TO MAKE A MUSIC VIDEO ON ONE GIF OF EXPERIENCE, made angsty shipping art for the first time, and god fucking KNOWS what else that I’m forgetting. And that’s ignoring that by this point we’re edging so much closer to me being able to say “I’ve drawn Junkan 200 fucking times” any god damn day now. 
If this isn’t abnormal human being behaviour, it at the very least has to be really fuckin funny behaviour, right?? Am I just overthinking this?? 
Oh god, right, the main topic. Sorry about that it’s just been eating away at me the sheer absurdity of this project when I really step back and think about it.
Anyway making the vid, I did have a LOT of help from my girlfriend @sunmellows, who actually does have animation experience. She’s more versed in using sprites to animate, but a lot of the techniques could be carried over to what I was doing here. That segment of Mikan and Mukuro running along past a bunch of characters? She helped me so much to get the walk cycles perfect for that.
She also helped me make sure I could actually show this fucking video to people, because fun fact. I made this on an absolute piece of shit laptop! And at first it was relatively fine when I exported projects. But when I got to the point of being actually close to completion? Oh my god not only did it take hours, it just didn’t even work. It would basically KILL my laptops performance to the absolute limit until I would eventually have to force restart the thing. Which thank god didnt’ corrupt the fucking file. So when it came to the final export, I handed off the file to her and she graciously exported it out of clip studio, and then made some minor edits to the timing of the animation in a video editing program.
This is also why, much to my constant irritation, there are still a few animation errors in this because if I fixed them, I’d have to re-export the entire video. And sure, my current laptop is 10 times better and might not try to invent a new form of agony trying to manage it, but also i’m not waiting like 2 or 3 hours for that to happen. No matter how painful it makes rewatching this video. Cause i don’t actually like rewatching this one usually, I’m very proud of it but as I’ve said in the past I am a vicious perfectionist when it comes to my work, so its hard for me to ignore every issue and oddity in the video.
I was fucking losing it by the end of this, I was pulling late nighters for like a week while trying to work on the last few scenes and fix up whatever I could, which was hard because I lacked a convenient way to just watch the whole video in good quality and speed, since playing it in my art program resulted in constant stuttering and made it impossible to tell if it would really look like that, and again, trying to export it made my laptop hate me. But on August 1st I finished it, I had to stay up till 6 AM to do it but I did in fact, fucking do it. I passed it off to Yves, she exported it after some technical difficulties, and now we’re here. 
It was, wild, trying to keep this a secret. And i’m not just talking the 3 months I had to keep it quiet to Val (Though that was difficult but VERY worth it yes), but also keeping it secret up till this point. I don’t even know how many fucking months I’ve had to keep this quiet so none of you would find out about it, I’ve been anxiously waiting to see everyone's reactions to this fucking video, and at the time of writing we’re on like, Day 76. I still have so much more time I need to wait! I’m probably gonna be a nervous wreck the day this actually goes up!
Would I ever do this again? God I fucking hope not! (the answer is yeah someday)
I should actually talk about what’s IN the music video now, shouldn’t I? Will be mildly difficult because that’s probably gonna require a lot of rewatching, and as I already said looking at this music video does make my perfectionist brain scratch bad a bit.
Okay so Monokuma.
So originally the plan for this was for the vid to be a much closer 1-to-1 of the actual opening version of Snow Fairy, and while it did eventually evolve into more of its own thing (both functioning as its own slightly more unique intro for Junkan but also just becoming a more normal music video) the one thing that i always wanted for this was to recreate the first few seconds of the intro but with Monokuma. When this was meant to be significantly less like, animation-y, he was gonna be the only part I went fully into.
It was a real pain in the ass but this guy was basically my crash course on properly animating thanks in part to his simple design. He’s also brought much laughter to my girlfriend! On discord i have this part of the vid saved as a gif, and completely divorced from the context of the music vid it just looks like a silly as gif of Monokuma flying away. Like where the fuck are you going dude??
For the remainder of the first bit I wanted to include Hope’s Peak and Jabberwock island since they’re the most iconic locations in the series, granted, jabberwock feels very irrelevant in a non-despair AU but shhhh. The LOGO! I wish I had the actual thing in my files but I guess I just never thought to save it as it’s own thing. And I’m too scared to open the actual file for the music video to just copy paste it out of there because fun fact, the whole thing is ALL one file. Tip from the Ametuer here, don’t fucking do that.
I’m still really happy that I managed to find the actual font for the Fairy Tail logo to make this with, equally happy that I also managed to sneak in one more reference to Val’s work again! It is once again the tattoo design, because I just can’t help myself y’know?
After that we hit me actually doing this and for a brief moment you get to see it actually be about as slide-showy as I had initially planned on before I decided I was gonna learn how to do a proper run cycle and that took like two fucking days i think. Very proud of it though, Mikan and Mukuro’s little runs were very fun to animate and I like the stupid ass slide I made Mukuro do. I actually wanted to make a stupid animation of her rail grinding using those frames, clearly I didn’t. 
Oh also yeah this style was reused for the cover of the Day 60 Comic, partially because I wanted to retroactively sprinkle bits of this animatic into whatever prior posts I can, partially because i really could not think of an actual cover for that comic. 
So since I was trying desperately to make this seem like the opening to some kind of Junkan Series (and again that concept for the vid dies out real quick) I decided to just include as many other characters as possible during these running scenes. Not only because it would be very fun to draw some of them in this fucked up chibi style I started doing on the fly, but also because then I could insert like three whole ships that I like. We got the Ruruseiko, the Tokomaru, the Ikuzonobuki because hey someone had too.
Fun fact there was supposed to be a little pop up of Mukuro with heart eyes in the corner when Sayaka and Ibuki showed up, but I either scrapped cause I couldn’t make it look right with the limited frames I had, or I accidentally hid all of its layers and couldn’t find it. I can’t remember, this project turning out as well as it did is quite frankly a miracle.
The train scene I don’t really remember why I did like, full linework and shading for that while the rest of the fuckin vid is just sketches. I guess it was fully still animation so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Drawing the very silly little shots of them going by the train was a lot more fun though, I also used it to reference a few more pieces from the past!
The first shot of them with Angie was a reference to the Day 70 Piece, since I always kinda headcanoned (yeah headcanoning my own art, that makes sense) that it was Angie who made it. Then we got Day 82, which at the time of writing this hasn’t been posted! Flashback to whatever day that Karaoke pic with the Ikuzonobuki trio was on for the shot of Junko watching Mikan sing.
And then after that is the Flatwoods monster part, which is the really fun one because I have no idea if I’ll have drawn anything for that by the time this gets released. I really want to though because I love the Flatwoods Monster and I love Junkan, so why not combine them! Alas, I’m working on the December 24th comic as I write this so I might not have time to make that on time. 
Yasuke and Tsumugi! I’ve given my thoughts on them before of course, I think during Day 60? My brain at this point just felt very inclined to include them in this, Yasuke especially.  Even if just as a very small cameo I kinda just associate these two with Junkan? Admittedly it’s mostly because of Val’s fic, I won’t act like that isn’t just the blueprint for everything in the junkan portion of my brain. 
I also used this opportunity to once more make up for the fact that I had drawn so very little kabedon content in this whole project.
After that this probably becomes the cheesiest thing i’ve ever made. The scene of Mikan looking sad was another scene directly based off of the original opening this all based on. After the spin transition I put a little too much effort into was supposed to be a shot of Junko doing Mikan’s hair while Mukuro and Sayaka try to do the same with Ibuki. If I remember the timeline of events I realized I couldn’t make this scene last until the next scene on the storyboard without dragging it out, so I was gonna try adding other little vignettes of antics. However in a rare act of self care I decided to not make this any harder on myself and just scrapped it, skipped to the next storyboard, and extended it out to fit the time. Do I like this in the longrun?? Ehhhhhh, personally I think I shoulda just sucked it up and just added some smaller shots, but miraculously I have people who care about me and would probably prefer it if I didn’t destroy my body for a music video, so I probably made the right choice.
Those outfits look kinda familiar! Whether because I was struggling to think of a new outfit, or because I had just drawn a kabedon, I decided to reuse the outfits from Day 74! Junko’s was a pain in the ass to animate! Never again! Also I colored the Boba to match my pride headcanons for both of them, Mikan being bi and Junko being pan. One kiss and another god damn spin transition i put too much effort into making look good, and we’re at the last scene.
And there’s a mildly fun story for the art used in the background. Like I already said, they were added last minute because the scene would be dead air without them. However I could have done more little clips and vignettes and not fully drawn art pieces. So why did I do fully drawn art pieces?? I was starving, of course. 
You all know my rule that I’m not allowed to draw any Junkan before the current one on the project is finished, correct? Well guess who wasn’t able to draw any normal junkan for like 3 months because I had to focus on making a music video. I can reread a bunch of fics or stare at art forever but the desperate and violent urge to make more and add to the pile so my brain feels nice is insatiable, especially with the rate I was making these previously before the music video began production. 
Sooo, making some last minute assets seemed like a pretty good excuse to finally draw something fresh. And it was a fucking blessing on my brain at this point.
I tried to do a runthrough of their relationship up to this point, flashing back all the way until their first encounter. Was this a thinly veiled excuse to realistically include a halloween pic? Yes. But hey, that last shot was always planned so on some level I have to be justified in my actions. Let’s talk about these pieces one at a time.
First up, hey, that kinda looks familiar. That’s right, assuming the stars aligned and allowed me to gain the strength to draw the December 24th Comic all on time (I’m 17 pages in at the moment send past me your strength, time travel is real if I say it is), then you might notice that I just took the outfits for this winter-y art and featured them in the story! 
So I did in fact draw the Halloween art first and realized I could probably do something vaguely interesting with a timeline of events, so I realized it would probably be best to put the winter art BEFORE October, because I like to dream of a year where I can celebrate Halloween and not freeze to death. It just also happens that it kinda conveniently fits the current time! Since this is releasing in winter! A miracle.
This ones pretty simple obviously, I unfortunately have nothing impressive or interesting to say on the art itself, more just stuff surrounding it.
Now the Halloween Art. Well i also don’t have a lot to say there either but god dammit i’ll sure as hell try!~ 
Listen I wasn’t fully confident that I would have the project done in time for Halloween, and as I’ve probably said before (or at least implied), while I could certainly draw more art on my own time after the 100 days were ready, until this was a public thing and the world was made well aware of my obsession, I couldn’t post it. It is extremely good luck (and also burnout) that I was able to get this done in time to actually post during October, so I did get to draw Halloween Stuff! But when I was making this?? I saw an opportunity to say “fuck it” and draw something spooky with these two, my favorite holiday and (probably) my favorite ship?? Yes please!
As for designing their halloween outfits I sure did fucking wing it! Yeah no thought process, just spooky as fuck. 
Though something interesting about this art that my girlfriend pointed out is that the way I shaded and colored it matches up a lot with my older art. Since I’m not gonna drag through my old gallery to find good examples the best way I can sum it up is that my coloring style back in the day was a lot more candy colored. If that makes sense? More saturated colors I guess? Whenever I look at pieces like those and this I just think of a bowl of colorful candy. 
I miss drawing like that, I don’t know what changed. It’s hard to go back, but maybe i’ll try.
The next shot might seem familiar, but not to any of my other pics, but rather a fic! When writing my Vampire Junkan AU I decided that I wanted to do an Aquarium Date for one of the bigger chapters, because as we all know, Fish and Vampires go together like chocolate and peanut butter. When writing it I was thinking of when I wanted to do the big kiss scene, and this art came to mind! So while it’s not very 1 to 1, I tried my best to recreate it through words.
Why did I draw aquarium art in the first place? I wanted to draw a sunfish . . . I’m a very simpleminded woman in most cases y’know?
The next image was actually even more last minute than the other 3, cause even with those I didn’t have enough to cover the timeframe of the scene. Soooo, Junko giving Mikan a flower.
Maybe this was her confessing? Asking her out? I haven’t thought about it enough. 
And after so long we’re finally back to me just ripping straight from the original opening this is based off of, and in the original its a very sentimental memory for one of the main characters. So pretty early on alongside the Monokuma bit I knew I should have that specific last flashback be their first meeting. I think this is like, my 4th or 5th time depicting a first meeting between these two? It’s always fun to do, and the one in this music vid I think you can tell was decently inspired by Kayleen’s “Smile” Fic, albeit not a direct adaptation and with like, 2% more whimsy. 
And a proposal!! We all crack eventually and there was only so god damn long I could stop myself from depicting one, and what better place than an ill advised music video? Also the gleam of the ring just made for a really good transition out of this and I’m still shocked by how well I was able to make it look. 
And that’s it! I feel like I didn’t talk about this one as much as I thought I would?? Granted I think this is still one of the longer rambles I’ve gone on, but given the jump in scale I thought this’d be a bit more, excessive?? 
I already said earlier but for as, fucking agonizing as this was, I will probably, someday, try to do another animation like this. Hell I’m collaborating with my Girlfriend on a VS Project right now and I’m hoping to at least do small bits of actual animating on it. Which I think I can do??
As for music videos, welllll I do have two in mind, one is Vampire Junkan (though not in the way you think), and the other doesn’t specifically focus on Junkan but it sure will have a Billy Joel song. 
So what’s up next??
Well I’m just gonna say this now, Day 100 does not go higher in scale than this, I won’t say what it is but its like, normal. Day 99 should be fun though! As for 91 through 98? Well! We’ve got 8 days of Fanfics! I didn’t write anything don’t worry. I made 8 pictures based off of 8 fanfics, with only one repeat author! There’s reason for that though you’ll see. There’s some direct adaptations of scenes, covers for the story, and like, something more based off the vibe, it’s hard to describe. You’ll see.
Gonna try my best to sing the praises of the fics themselves though I worry that I won’t be able to adequately sing the praises of these stories to the same degree that I did on Day 60, so hopefully I can at least convince ya’ll to give them a read yourself!~ 
Here’s hopin ya’ll enjoy the results!
As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~
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theonlyamazingtazmin · 4 months ago
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Elrondriel - First Elf to Elf intimacy
While I ruminate on a fanfic I’m currently outlining, I thought I could get out my thoughts through this way because its going to be long possible two year wait before we are back into the world of TRoP. However, I’d like to preface that I pinged the chemistry between Elrond and Galadriel from their first ever meet in Season 1 and had I not been swept by Haladriel, I probably would’ve been shipping them fulltime then. The chemistry was taut in Season 1 and its even more apparent and greatly so in Season 2 with the culmination of a kiss that I don’t think anyone would’ve guessed or believed despite the leaks (I certainly didn’t).
I don’t care to interpret this as platonic, I’m not sorry. You can throw as many of the interviews as you can but actors can and have lied before, I’m well experienced with this. In actual text in the show, this scene is presented with the full fanfare of longing and romance down to the music cues. Yes, it had a functional reason of providing cover, but Elrond is smart. He could’ve done a number of things before a kiss on the lips no less. A kiss on the forehead, the cheek, corner of the mouth even. Had the chemistry not been there, this onscreen kiss would’ve been fallen flat and not much anger towards it would be this high but people can recognise the level of chemistry between. The level of intimacy between Galadriel and Elrond is only second to the actual onscreen romantic couples we’ve seen in the show and movies.
An analysis:
I think people don’t realise that the kiss between Galadriel and Elrond is the first elf to elf romantic intimacy we’ve seen onscreen. Between the PJ movies and TRoP, we’ve seen Dwarf/Elf and Human/Elf romances which have been depicted as the peak of star crossed lovers separated by immortality and time — of which Elrond’s heritage is a product of that and his descendants continue to be in the far future.
The arguments (of cope) I've been seeing proclaiming that's how elves platonically say goodbye to their friends is very paper thin against all depiction of Elvish intimacy where its been clear that kisses are romantic, an expression of agape.
We've seen it with Aragorn and Arwen:
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Arondir and Bronwyn:
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Kili and Tauriel:
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The first time we could've gotten Elf to Elf intimacy was in the Hobbit films with Legolas and Tauriel but we see an explicit rejection from Tauriel to Legolas for Kili and despite how close they were (though separated by rank), we could've seen the proposed platonic goodbye kiss but we didn't and we know why.
Okay, maybe the kiss is an outlier but physical closeness is surely the norm, right?
Not really, even under the guise of close friendship, Elrond and Galadriel remain outliers far closer and leaning to romantic. No other elves than them two interact the same way they do.
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You'll see a familar scene of this
Their physical closeness (there's never a space for Jesus!), exceeds far beyond of other elves and their friendships, even for Elrond and Durin and its been consistent
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Does this not look the image of a ruling couple
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Images by @maul-of-shame
Even when they're angry at each other, it doesn't stop or impede their physical closeness. This is not a one time thing, but a consistent effort between them you don't see with the other elves.
This doesn't just stop in the show, but also in the movies. The chance to depict interaction between a married canon Elven couple and it was cold and distant between them.
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PJ didn't care for Celeborn clearly but he could've easily had him in here taking on the role that Elrond is doing for his MIL :) But his omission is pointed and you have Elrond fulfilling that instead.
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If you didn't know the history or lore about them, I guarantee most would've assume they're together
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bloofinntoona · 2 years ago
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Baby's Breath
Word Count: 1.4k
Themes: Fluff, a little bit of angst? Sebastian Sallow x F!Reader (Reader's house can be up to you!)
Summary: (SPOILER FOR HOGWARTS LEGACY ENDING) You're asking Sebastian Sallow who will he take to the Yule Ball.
Author's Note: So... This is my first fanfic(after a while). I played Hogwarts Legacy and I love Sebastian's questline and his story. I'd thought I wrote a little bit of a story after the main HL story. Based on the marriage question???? scene from the first Avatar movie.
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A year has passed since the massive battle with Ranrok, as well as the murder of Solomon Sallow. You, Anne, and Ominis had decided to not turn Sebastian in. The weight of killing his own family member was tormenting enough for the teen, there was absolutely no need of putting him behind bars at Azkaban. Despite the darkness that has been brewing inside Sebastian, his friends still have much love for him. Especially you.
You didn't think much of it at first. Why, Sebastian Sallow was notorious for being the Slytherin bad boy. Dodging detentions here and there, and persistently asking his schoolmates to duel in his not-so-unsanctioned-secret-dueling club. One would think that this boy was a menace. But you know that he was more than that. Sebastian was smart, curious, relentless, outgoing, kind, cunning, and obviously as ambitious as a Slytherin could be. As if the boy couldn't be more perfect, he has the most beautiful hazel eyes you've ever seen. You particularly noticed the tiny freckles that adorned his face — you swear you could see constellations if you connected the dots.
Getting back to your relationship before the incidents was not easy. Ominis and Anne took their time to make small talk and joke around with Sebastian. You, on the other hand, shared a kinship. You also wielded the unforgivable curses with him. You often found yourself between Sebastian's arms, finding consolation from the responsibilities of being the so-called Hogwarts Hero who possessed the Ancient Magic. There was also a time when Sebastian broke down in your arms, feeling guilty for being too absored in the Dark Arts. Nevertheless, time is the best healer as you both were able to cope and live somewhat normally in school.
After all that you both have been through, there was never a point where you confessed to each other. Yes, you hugged and comforted each other. You swore you felt him kissed your forehead once. Perhaps it's the archaic rule of courting in the 19th century that your guardians had been drilling into your brain. Or perhaps you're just too scared of being rejected and loosing the closest friend in your life.
⁂✲*⁂✲*⁂
You shifted your feet back and forth, hearing the snow rustling underneath your platform shoes. Merlin's beard, you thought, where in the world is Sebastian? Saying that it's freezing in Hogsmeade is an understatement. The wind blew past your ears as you cursed yourself for putting your hair in an updo today. You jumped as you felt hands tickled your sides, "Hey!" you shouted, turning around. Sebastian grinned, "Sorry, 'had to pick up something earlier." He patted your head, which prompted a red blush spreading across your face. "Shall we?" He offered his hand as you head into The Three Broomsticks. Nothing like a full glass of Butterbeer can make you feel better, especially with Sebastian as your company. This is how you both liked to spend the weekends after a tedious week full of classes and homework. The outing almost ended with You and Sebastian racing on the broom, cruising over the lake until you both reached the rickety docks in Lower Hogsfield, looking over the school.
"That was a good race. Obviously, I was here first." The boy puffed his chest.
You rolled your eyes, "Sure, consider yourself lucky that we're alone 'cause I literally landed first!"
Sebastian and you playfully bantered, pushing each others' broom. He accidentally pushed a bit too hard which sent you flying back. "Oop-!" you yelped as you felt his swift hands caught your back and pulled you close to him. Too close. You felt your chest pressed against Sebastian. Godrick's Heart, did he grow taller? You also swore he was not this strong and muscular before. Puberty years did work wonders for teen boys. Feeling his warm breath against your face, you started to panic and gently pushed him away. You swore you could see a hint of disappointment in his face.
"So," you cleared your throat, "The Yule ball is coming soon. I, uh, heard that you're supposed to look for your own date." You paced around the dock, afraid to look at Sebastian. "Have you thought about who you're going to ask?" You bitterly questioned him. A part of you was a bit disappointed that Sebastian didn't ask you when the ball was announced. You'd expect him to take you, even as friends. The thoughts of Sebastian secretly having a crush without telling you made your guts churn. It's not like other boys haven't asked either, Garreth Weasley was very sweet, offering an enhanced (his words) Wiggenweld potion warped in a bow with an invitation to the ball. You were flattered, but you thought there wasn't a point of going without the boy you actually had a crush on.
"I thought about it." Sebastian calmly said, using his wand to cast Levioso, levitating a rock and flung it to the lake.
"Oh..." you gulped. "May I know who?" You wanted to slap yourself for asking, why would you want to hear answers that will hurt? You still have your back facing Sebastian.
"Guess!" and there's Sebastian Sallow, never making it easy for you.
You used your wand to flung some pebbles into the water. "Well, Imelda Reyes is an amazing flyer. I bet you learned a flying trick or two from her," You smiled bitterly, "Plus, you both are in the same house, so I bet you're close with her?"
You could hear his laugh. "No way, I'm not keen on being ridiculed by Imelda." Sebastian flung more rocks into the water.
"I guess Natty is a good option too. She's brilliant, probably the kindest person I've ever met-"
"What about me?" Sebastian joked, "I'm also kind."
You rolled your eyes. "Also she has a professor as a parent, like you."
"It's not Natty, too... Gryffindor for me," He shook his head, "Don't get me wrong, Natty's a good friend. But she's just a friend for me."
"What about Poppy? She's the cutest girl in school. I think her passion for the beasts is amazing too." You chimed.
Sebastian shook his head again. "Nope, not her."
You raked your brain, thinking about the rest of your schoolmates. You didn't even notice Sebastian's footsteps inching closer to you.
"Ominis?" you blurted out, now facing Sebastian. Hearing your question, he made a face and blurted out an explosive laugh. "I mean I would, but he probably would kill me first," he wiped a tear from his eyes, "no, not my dear friend Ominis Gaunt."
"I give up!" You held up your hands, "I don't know who you have in mind."
Sebastian lets out a sigh. "There is this girl," he stood close to you, "She is beautiful, brave, and possesses an ability like no other. She's always eager to beat me in duels and learn new things. This girl is always there for me, through thick and thin. Even though I was a sodding disappointment of a mate, she still greets me with a warm smile. I don't think I could be here right now without her."
Your breath hitched, feeling warmth crept around your face. Sebastian's face is turning red as well. He took your hands in his, caressing your fingers softly. You can feel your body heating up despite the cold air. "I'm glad you came to Hogwarts. Having you in my life was the best present the universe gave me." He reached inside his pocket and presented you with a corsage decorated with baby's breath and baby blue ribbon. "I was going to give it to you tomorrow. But since we're having this conversation..." He smiled, face red as ever, "Will you go to the ball with me-"
Sebastian didn't get to finish his sentence before you crashed your lips against him. You could feel electricity sparked all over your body, butterflies flying all over your stomach. It seemed like forever, feeling his soft lips molded with yours. His hands rested on your waist, gently pulling you closer. You snaked your hands around his neck, entangling your fingers in his brown locks.
You broke the kiss, resting your forehead against his. "I'd take that as a yes?" Sebastian whispered. You nod, couldn't get a word out of your mouth. He smiled, peppering small kisses on your cheeks before capturing your lips for another kiss.
He pulled back, took your hand, and wrapped the corsage around your wrist. "You know, I had to do a bunch of tasks to have Professor Garlick help me grow this flower." He chuckles, admiring how the flowers looked on you.
"Sebastian.. I-" You grinned widely, "Thank you. I would love to go to the ball with you." You couldn't help but to wrap your arms around him again. "Why baby's breath?"
"Well, darling, they said it's the symbol of everlasting love."
⁂✲*⁂✲*⁂
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radfemsiren · 2 months ago
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i think there are far, far too many women into rape and other abusive things than can be excused with severe trauma alone. fundamentally i think its a matter of socialization, the way male=active=dominant/ female=passive=submissive has been the model for nearly all interactions between men and women for thousands of years, especially in a sexual context.
women's sexuality is constructed as receptive and men's as proactive. in this context, a man raping a woman is not only normal given the model but also encouraged as it is seen as the man losing control with his desire, and 'claiming' her, which ofc, women will find flattering, as being desired is the pinnacle of womanhood. not only that but since women are socialized to not be proactive, the idea of actively desiring someone is uncomfortable to them.
we have so many young, inexperienced women with low self esteem, interpreting even violent attention as flattering, we can see how even something like rape and abuse can be given several flattering meanings. not only that but i feel like women are collectively traumatized by the ever present threat of male violence hanging over their heads. its easier to interpret that as being desired, as being part of the destiny of any woman, so why not embrace it on their own terms? this recontextualizes what male violence means to them personally, but obviously reinforces it in other ways.
there's a quote by dworkin that sums it up if taken in a sexual context:
"We have a double standard, which is to say, a man can show how much he cares by being violent -- see, he's jealous, he cares -- a woman shows how much she cares by how much she's willing to be hurt; by how much she will take; how much she will endure."
the final thing i want to say is that i really don't know how we as an oppressed class will deal with this. because women are simply not willing to let go, its ruining their 'fun' as someone put it. all the reasons and pleading in the world isn't going to stop them. the social structures are built too strongly into all of us idk how we're gonna get out. this ended up being long so ty for reading
I agree with all of this! A lot of it is socialization and coping with male violence. Women are so deeply socialized to be passive, esp in bed, that a lot of us end up not even knowing what we find attractive or actively want to engage in with the other person. Just what we want done to us. It makes it hard to develop a healthy sex life with this severe disconnect, living through the eyes and wants of the man and not our own desires. You don’t have to be “dominant” in bed or anything, but it’s not healthy to be so lost that you don’t know what you desire yourself to actively do with your partner, and just want to have the sex “be done to you.”
And yes! These rape fantasies are definitely recontexualizing male violence and the guilt of female desire. It’s not lost on me that the woman often “gives in” and enjoys what’s happening in these stories… this is not really an accurate depiction of a rape, but rather women feeling guilt from wanting sex and taking away initial consent to remedy this. They are held hostage by the shame of their sexuality, and choosing flattery instead fear to react to male violence. They see themselves being chased and decided it’s better to act like it’s because they are a prize, instead of a prey animal.
It is hopeless to think about, but just remember that consumers of these “dark fantasy” books and “pro ship” fanfic are in the minority! I see a huge amount of women and girls being disgusted by these stories being pushed, so I think our relationship to our sexuality is healing, little by little! ❤️
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thatdeadaquarius · 2 years ago
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m thinkin abt the “blunt vs flowery” language thing and…… in the year of our lord 2023, i don't even want to imagine how far back we'd have to go in genshins timeline until we see ‘hey shawty' written on a cave wall-
you try to be better about it, sometimes, using only the fanciest words and the most floral of tones, but all you ever succeed in doing is giving zhongli flashbacks to the archon war-
in the same vein: modern humor. would literally make them think "is this some sort of divine joke im too mortal to understand?" except even the archons need to cite sources on why a piece of bread falling over would be funny- maybe you slip sometimes, but you only ever get halfway through like “i’m neurodivergent and a minor” before you realize they don’t know what that means— “what if i had blue hair and pronouns” but they’re just sitting there like… doesn’t everybody have pronouns….? and kaeya has blue hair- are you implying he’s divine? what about chongyun?? xingqiu??????
anyway um. this is me bringing up my unfortunate (but very funny) habit of saying “i’ll boil you like soup” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced and hoping it triggers Thoughts about the casual/slang threats we make and how they cope
sorry if this reads incoherently it’s 1am for me rn— also i’m debating becoming a regular anon here, are your applications open? 👉👈
SORRY IF I RAN U OFF BY NOT REPLYING QUICKLY!! BUT I’D LOVE TO HAVE LABELLED ANONS! I’ve already added some taken name I could see in my mailbox so check the pinned post and choose whatever isn’t taken! phrase or emoji, etc.! :)
this isnt super long bc ur stuff seemed chill on its own/idk what I could add! So I just focused on one aspect
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gif is literally everyone reacting to you trying to speak “flowery” like them lol
ALSO u guys probably dont remember bc I took so long but I’m still writing/going to post that Blunt Lang. AU Fanfic One-Shot! so here’s some quick headcanons ill add on ive got anon!!
No TWs/Content Warnings. SFW.
so this was gonna be chill but-
BESDIES RANDOM SHIT LIKE MEME REFERENCES
THAT WONT MAKE SENSE TO THEM BC INHERENT INTERNET/DIGITAL UNDERSTANDING NEEDED
WHAT IF ALL UR JOKES OR REFERENCES ARE QUITE LITERALLY, ANCIENT??
like anon said about even the archons having to pull out sources/cite your stuff to understand it, like finding really old tablets/scrolls/carved wall words 😭
u giving Zhongli a history lesson/brush up LMAO
If ur annoyed at them u just need to make more jokes, leave em scrambling for their pocket notes LOL
I like to think since you sound the OLDEST
that the ancient shit like Phanes/Four Shades/Seven Sovereigns are the closest in speech
(look theyre all alive and shit for my genshin, goddamit i still gotta tell u guys abt my genshin fill-in lore au)
and they’re closer to the “beginning of history” in teyvat so theyd get more references
theyd literally understand u the best and they like, all in the Abyss or like deep in Teyvat,
so u just casually strolling up to Azdaha’s place instead like
“How’s your day been Azhy?”
“Same as the days many before, my lord. How are thee?”
“Good enough, hey, why don’t I bring some food from my old world by that I’ve made for you to try out? Something new, y’know?”
camera pan left to see Zhongli looking up, then back down as he scribbles notes trying to better understand, Xiao has crossed his arms and is squinting, Ganyu is behind Zhongli and is trying to peek over his shoulder, Cloud Retainer and other adepti have like hidden nearby to overhear lol
FLASHBACKS FOR ZHONGLI-
HE’S OVER HERE LIKE
“Please do not disturb your countenance my Wànsuìyé, the vernacular is pleasant to mine ears and sufficient for speech.”
“I shall, uh, try my best Zhongli, thought I know ye have- wait- thy have? Whatever, accepted it, I shall keep attempting to better match thee!”
HIS FACE-
He’s literally just → 😰😣💀
(flashback to at least 1 really ancient/old god he had to fight for his life against, they were the hardest battle he’s ever faced, and Azhdaha was helping him by that point too, so it wasn’t even like he won alone… rip zhongli got ptsd)
He keeps trying to subtly stop you from practicing it, he also desperately discourages others from helping you 😭
(Zhongli was about to be called Rex Lapis again when Venti was trying to get on his last nerve by constantly encouraging you to speak fancier, but in the incorrect way, at dinner with them one time)
Like that last content with them pretending not to kow each other but 5x the tension and Venti is fooling around even more so than usual lol
THANKS FOR SENDING IN YOUR IDEAS!! I FUCKING LOVE HEARING OTHER PPLS BRAINROTS OVER STUFF!! AND SORRY AGAIN IT TOOK FOREVER!! ITS BEEN A ROUGH YEAR OF UNI FOR ME/IM GRADUATING!! <333 TYSM ANON!!
Safe Travels,
💀 ♒
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonderss / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylazaa / @genshin-impacts-mee / @wholesomey-artistt / @thedevioussmirk
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restrainedhungr · 10 days ago
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im gonna be 100% with yall for a hot second, mind the tags
So tbh, i kind of have been avoiding the dash here because recently more and more themes that make me extremely uncomfortable i thought i wouldnt have to deal with here are showing up :')
i havent gone a single day on this dash without incest or some other shit come up on my dash and im. honestly kinda tired of it like :')
Trauma dump time
i was sexually abused by my brother, i was taught by him that being sexual means people love you I was effectively an underage prostitute for half of my childhood life.
Starting at 9 years old. And not having an out until i was 17/18 when i was finally given psychiatric help Even then i went through a lot of abuse and cycles as majority of my life was being sexually abused it was hard to break from that cycle or know how to function without it
Please for the love of fuck, DO NOT. PORTRAY THESE TOPICS AS GOOD AROUND ME
I will not police people wanting to write topics, but there are ways to approach topics like this in good and bad lights, and you have to make a clear boundary between that. You have to make it clear you, the writer, is not accepting and ok with these themes, or writing porn to rub one off to and enable predators
A major part of being abused was online, and people pointed to those who wrote underage and incestual fiction as "see? its ok because its pretend" until it broke down my defenses and they abused me IRL. This happens. I'm a result of it I'm really fucked up mentally because of it
i still have issues with sex and intimacy and arguably can go through periods of hypersexuality or shit because my brain is so hardfucking wired its taken years of lucifer damned therapy to get to a point i can be in a healthy relationship with my GF rn.
and im honestly so fucking tired. imi so tired of seeing this everywherre but i want to be here on tumblr and be silly but honestly im spiraling and just getting high to ignore everything lmao. I know it's not a good coping mechanism but that's why I've been so silent and only been on discord. I've been getting high and playing pokemon while reading fanfics of Vi and Caitlyn cuz they're cute and wonderful.
so yeah. please
for the love of fuck
keep it off public eyes at the very least, if not DONT FUCKING DO IT.
and yes, people can call out how "oh but you RP in greek gods and hades!!" yes. BECAUSE WE ALL. RECOGNIZE. THE INCEST AND SHITI THERE. ISNT OK. NO ONE IS PORTRAYING THE INCESTUAL RELAITONSHIPS (to my knowdge) AS A GOOD THTING. AND I STILL DONT APPROVE OF PPL WHO DO THERE EITHER.
There's something to say with Fauxincest, but I'm not going to touch that with a 10 foot fucking pole, especially with my brother having not been blood related (both adopted before 2 years old) and raised together. Not to mention i dont want to talk about the differences in Mommy and Daddy kinks vs incest because yes there is a difference and anyone in kink can tell you THERE IS A DIFFERERNCE.
I'm not here to give you a lecture on what kink is vs a paraphilia, look up what paraphilias are and educate yourself because it's a serious issue that you need addressed if you have one. as someone who ppl tried to groom into them, please for the love of fuck, understand how serious it is and how much of a difference kink can have with paraphilias
so if yall wondering why ive been gone, this is why. im just tired man. im so fucking tired of this BEING EVERYWHERE.
every single fucking fandom has this issue and i cant keep. coming back to this.
i cant be safe when "safe places" are safe for people who used the same tactics to abuse me as a child and throws me back there. I won't be part of the cycle again.
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theprismyyy · 1 year ago
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Honestly, I read on several different platforms, both here on Tumblr, and on Wattpad, ao3 and others... and so, in general, they are all great apps with great stories to read, but there is one thing that bothers me about all of them, mainly and especially on Ao3, and the amount of disgusting content involving serious subjects like incest, rape and others that I won't bother mentioning here; What irritates me most about this is the lack of filter in the app.I'm only saying all this because the following happened, I was simply reading some stories about Gwen Stacy on the said app (ao3) when I came across atrocities like a fanfic whose plot was literally an incestuous relationship between Gwen and her father....man , I just wanted to read some fluffy fluff and not come across unnecessary and unsolicited material, I didn't bother opening this (obviously) and I didn't even want to, I was honestly disgusted... Also, I came across another whose plot idea was even more horrible... I don't know, it all just made me think that maybe these apps need more serious and firm rules and punishments in the face of these things; such serious and criminal topics being written in a sick manner to normalize and entertain more disgusting and sick people is still dark, it's even darker how little we talk about it and how little the developers seem to care, I imagine dealing with demands so big ones must be extremely difficult but we don't even see a movement to deal with these things...IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT'S JUST A CHARACTER, IT DOESN'T MATTER HE OR SHE DOESN'T EXIST, FUCK YOU AND YOUR SICK SHIT THAT USES THIS AS AN "ARGUMENT" TO WRITE CRIMINAL THINGS AND FEED YOUR FANTASIES DISGUSTING!!!! WHAT WE WRITE AND CONSUME SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE TYPE OF PEOPLE WE ARE AND IF YOU CONSUME IT AND DON'T SEE A PROBLEM WITH THIS TYPE OF CONTENT THEN PLEASE FUCK YOU
Anyway, this was just me venting because honestly I was extremely uncomfortable, I just wanted to read some nonsense and I had to come across something so sickening.
Edit: Apparently this is necessary as I may not have been as specific on some points and some people don't seem to understand (or don't want to understand)
It wasn't a personal "attack" on the Ao3 platform, I just used it as an example because that's usually where this type of work ends up appearing more.
2. Yes, I know and use the filtering system, Still, I think they are very often very flawed... besides, many of the people who write this type of content use tags that have nothing to do with the plot of the story to achieve greater visibility.
3. Yes... teenagers have sex 😱 wow what an incredible discovery!!! I know a lot of movies, shows, etc. portray this openly, I personally don't feel comfortable writing smut in general and everyone has their own opinion about it, but I understand there are a lot of writers who do this normalization and trivialization of a CRIME!
4. I know that many people use writing as a coping mechanism, but I think it is very unlikely that a person who has been through a situation, such as rape, for example, You'll write about it like it's something sexy or the best experience you've ever had in your life, like a lot of these types of writers do.
5. Yes, one of the joys of writing is that we can explore the deepest, most complex aspects of humanity without directly hurting anyone, and I love that, but we need to take responsibility for that.
6. There was a guy here who literally said that it's because of people like me that you can't have porn on Tumblr anymore...but why would there need to be porn here? Why just not open on an adult site like pornhub or xvideos?
7. I was indirectly called a facist through a Hashtag.... not supporting the normalization of rape, incest, etc. apparently makes me a facist😍
(I really am completely willing to hear opinions and comments, but I will not tolerate disrespect in the comments. That's it and thank you)
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aristocrating · 5 months ago
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hot take: this fandom has a problem with glamorizing jack and kent's addictions
oh. OH. now THIS.
there is soooo much to be said about how jack's addiction is treated at large, as well as the implication that kent would probably have his own problems with addiction (which is complete fanon, but i think it's realistic to consider that)
i've seen this come in several flavors:
1) glossing over it entirely, where it's just ignored. if you write fanfic and you just adapt out the fact that jack is an addict because it's a sensitive subject for you or you have trouble handling it well, sure. more power to you. work with what you got. i will say that a LOT of people seem to not really grasp the ramifications of how addiction works, but neither does the comic so this one is just to be expected. just like, educate yourself. howEVER, i do think it's a real and important part of jack's character and just conveniently forgetting it or going "oh he's fine now, he just drinks at parties now" is WILD to me. not how it works. ask any person who's ever been personally affected by struggles with addiction. he would be dead. or hospital-bound. it's not fun, it's not cute. do your research.
2) the most insidious take i've seen (waaay too often): oh yes jack or kent has a problem with medication and alcohol, but he's not a REAL addict. yes it's bad but it's not like THOSE people. there will be a whole narrative about people calling him a cokehead because it's wrong, he never did any REAL drugs. he's one of the Good Ones. DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF RIGHT NOW? keep your moralistic puritanical bullshit out of here. "jack would never do that! he would never do drugs!" okay, and what if he did? would you view him as less valuable as a character then? would you automatically dislike him more based on that fact alone? what do you think this implies about the way society treats people with addiction problems? why do you think people asign a hierarchy of moral value to what drugs someone consumes and who counts as a "real" addict? on my desk by monday. jfc.
3) and last but not least, glamorizing drug problems. it's a conglomeration of the previous two points i think, people don't know how to handle the issue of addiction well and also asign moral value to it. personally i think i've seen it come up especially in stories of pimms in juniors or kent's rookie year where he does drugs to cope. and let me just tell you. there is nothing fun or glamorous about it. addiction is taxing for everyone involved. it makes you feel like shit because you lose all sense of control and you also get judged for it from every side. it's a tiring process, it's sloggish and monotonous, you're trapped in cycles of frenzied rushes of substance abuse you can't enjoy, followed by excrutiating boredom that turns into an itch to consume again. it's uncomfortable. it's annoying. it makes you abandon all self-preservation you have because the pain of living becomes more and more unbearable all while your body tricks you into thinking there's only one thing that can alleviate it. and it's so easy to think portraying drugs as glamorous is somehow being supportive, but really you're just being condescending. and ignorant. the only reason i can think of why someone would want to glamorize this is if you're an addict yourself and you're using stories about addiction to cope. in that case, sure. do what you have to to get through it somehow. and everyone else, i implore you once again to think about why people asign moral value to addiction. what is to gain from it? who profits? who is exploited?
i understand struggling to portray addiction well. i understand not wanting to be confronted with it in fandom. i even understand being uncomfortable with it when being confronted with it, because it IS a scary subject. at the same time, i also wish more people understood what addiction is like and why it's important to handle it well in fiction and fandom.
this comic truly took the messiest possible route by introducing a character who explicitly suffered from an overdose and monitors his alcohol intake to... what exactly? what was the point of all that if it was going to be sweeped under the rug? why have a character who opens the door for such a big subject matter only for it to just not be relevant? i'm not saying the author had the intention of glamorizing addiction, but it does leave the unfortunate implication that jack only overdosed for a jab at an angsty plot line, the aesthetics of it, so i'm not surprised parts of the fandom would run with that.
one of the reasons i was drawn to jack's character is because i personally have experiences with alcoholism and addiction and i was surprised to see it come up in such a medium, and i was happy to have an in on the conversation. and it's sooo important to me that treating people with addiction as humans who are deserving of compassion becomes normalized and that the complexities and nuances of addiction are understood. unfort the comic did none of that though, so here we are /shrug
i think you're right and you should say it, 10/10 take, fucking educate yourself peeps
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
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flowerwiththemachinegun · 2 months ago
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Inspired by a better version of Tseng that has been engraved into my mind by @demialwrites. After the events of Advent Children. HOWEVER I don’t think they’d really be able to get access to who and what is needed at this point(i’m plotholing idc) Now, don’t ask if I’m factually correct. I dunno, I did a very very slight reading into it but got the idea from a conversation my partner brought up about heart transplants. (apparently this goes for other organs as well, I’ll look into it more later cause it is interesting. But I don’t want to lose this little drabble idea.) Anyways, I did exaggerate the possible effects from the research I did find on it for the sake of fanfic. Very vague on the accident I know, create your own maybe? Maybe it could make it more interesting idk.
Warning: major character death, hints of suicidal thoughts? also i was too lazy to carry on, or just didn't have the inspiration to, idk. I just didn't want to write anything very long.
Though you didn’t know who you received it from, you were thankful. Having been in an accident along with Tseng, the doctors had to act fast to save your life. Unfortunately Tseng succumbed to his injuries, passing away without you by his side. Something that ate you to the core everyday. 
Would knowing the truth make life any better for you? Tseng would fight tooth and nail for you, would give up his life, and that’s exactly what he did. He was just fine despite the damage done to the area. There was hardly a scratch on Tseng. 
Tseng tried his best to remain calm, but as the day went on your heart was failing with little to no chance of recovering. He couldn’t take it, watching you lay there motionless, a lifeless version of the vibrant person you were just hours ago. It’s a shame how quickly life can turn around. One minute he was thinking of how he would spend the rest of his life with you. Now he wanted to find the fastest way to die by your side. Due to Tseng’s alarming emotional state, Rufus made sure his firearm was taken away. He made it clear he would rather die than live this life without you, knowing that he didn’t do everything he could to save you. So he gave his very heart to you, in a more literal sense that he never expected to take it as more than the usual saying. Rufus made sure Tseng's request was swiftly followed through, the chances of you making it through the night were still low, but the chances to preserve your life would be higher if he at least tried. This way, no matter what is to come, he can be with you. 
You would never get the chance to know. Sometimes you get the feeling that Tseng was lingering around you at all times, like his presence never quite left despite his physical being departing. It was so odd. You picked up a few new habits and food cravings, thinking it was a therapeutic outlet to cope with losing Tseng considering these were all things he appreciated while you didn’t so much. In turn some scents and foods you loved once, you now couldn’t stand. Things that were a guilty pleasure of Tseng’s now were something you craved dearly. 
What became a bit annoying was the odd biological clock you seem to never be able to break. Formerly something you were not used to. Having trouble getting up at 7am for the start of your day versus Tseng’s 4am or even 5am start if he’s lucky. It all seemed very odd to others how you seemed to adopt a lot of Tseng’s habits after receiving his heart. 
Yes, the others were all informed. Tseng wanted the other Turks to know why he wouldn’t be coming back, finding himself incapable of abandoning his team without notice. They were the closest thing to family he had after all. 
Tseng didn’t want you to live with the guilt of knowing he died to save you. He knows you well enough, you wouldn’t move on easily, if at all, you would certainly be in far more despair knowing you had his heart beating inside of you. 
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balanceoflightanddark · 1 year ago
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...well, I haven't talked about the comics for a hot minute so...here's my thoughts on the central theme of Smoke and Shadow: fear.
Disregarding the sheer amount of how badly the characters are butchered, about how Yang seems to disregard canon just so he can make his own fanfic, the basic theme of the comic is fear. He's talked about it in interviews. It's a running theme for characters to talk about how they're afraid. You could even argue that Azula's main motivation in the comic is a flanderization of her quote on fear.
I will be the first to admit that I'm no stranger to fear. I have high levels of anxiety and I have a tendency to get worried or scared very easily. So being afraid is nothing new to me.
With that said...Smoke and Shadow's message about fear is asinine.
The basic message seems to be is that the thing you fear isn't worth getting afraid over. That it's not worth the hassle. We see this with Zuko declaring he's not gonna be like Azula or Ozai at the very end. Or how Ozai pathetically screams at Ursa to fear him. And yes. There are some things that aren't exactly worth getting worked up over or dwell on for the rest of your life.
But that's not what's going on here. If that were the case, why does Zuko insist on Azula being some kind of hellspawn and being "put in her place"? What exactly does Ursa's speech to Ozai accomplish? Really? Especially since we go from someone who is scared of his photo to standing up for herself with almost no development in between?
Which makes me wonder...does Yang not understand what fear is?
Fear and anxiety don't come from nowhere. More often than not, they're the result of something that really shaped someone as a person. Or perhaps as some primal instinct passed down from generation to generation.
Yet Ursa is never shown gradually coming to grips with what Ozai did to her. We also never see Zuko struggle with his fears about becoming his father, just more about Azula and what she's up to. And neither really grow at the end of the story aside from saying they're gonna do better.
I'm sorry, but coping with fear isn't that easy. It's a gradual process, understanding what makes you afraid and coming to grips with it. Knowing where the anxiety comes from and how to properly address it. It's complex and differs from person to person. And it's never. Simple.
With how pathetic Ozai is portrayed in his final scene and how minute the development for Zuko and Ursa were...I kind of think the real message was "Fear is a choice". Which is NEVER the answer. Fear is real, and you don't choose to be afraid. It's a natural response to when you feel threatened. And often, there is something concrete at the root of it like I mentioned before.
Instead, Ursa just chooses not to be afraid of Ozai anymore, ignoring that A. she's talking from a position of power and B. it doesn't address the pain she went through. And while Zuko chooses to be a more benevolent Fire Lord...he has a habit in the comics of saying things he doesn't mean nor does it actually ACT on his words. And it's STILL not addressing his real issues of growing up under Ozai and he's STILL blaming Azula for everything.
You can't choose to be afraid. But you can choose to address it, lest you become somebody you're not.
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ichijager13 · 1 year ago
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Teach Me How To Be Loved
Chapter XIV
I've got a burning desire for you
Pairing : Eren Jäger x reader, past relationships: Reiner Braun x reader, Jean kristein x reader
Characters: Eren Jäger, Annie Leonhart, Pieck Finger, Reiner Braun, Jean Kristein, Carla Jäger, Sophie Jäger.
Tags: Unhealthy coping mechanism, unhealthy relationships, childhood trauma, physical and verbal abuse, self-esteem and trust issues, domestic violence, implied/ referenced cheating, and a touch of sweet, lovable, and non fuckboy Eren Jäger
This fic is brought to you by Lana Del Rey’s songs
Masterlist, AO3,  Playlists: Reader’s POV, Eren’s POV
A/N: Hey, hey, heeeeeey! Guess who have decided to pick up her fanfic and update it. Yes, this lazy Ichi! I'm really sorry for taking so long to update, I didn't abandon this story, I promise.
Also thank you so much for reading and supporting my works.
Ichi  ❤️  
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“Eren,” you moaned, wrapping your arms around his figure. Just like every time you had him this close, you were on the verge of losing your mind. His scent, his teeth grazing your shoulder, and his warm breath fanning against your skin felt ethereal. It felt like a dream. One, you didn’t want for it to end.
In response to the sultry noises escaping you, he brushed his lips against your pulse point, making the last threads of sanity grow thinner and more tense before they slowly vanished in the air.
Laying on your couch in the middle of your dimly lit living room, you tried to trace back the events of this night. You tried, without success, to figure out how innocent tickling led to him half naked and hovering over your nude body.
Swimming in an endless sea of joy and sensuality, you tried to capture and memorize this moment. The faint ticking of the mechanical, vintage clock sitting on the fireplace, the aroma of your fabric softener, and his heart rate. You were mindlessly indulging in your fantasies when his rich voice brought you back to present time.
“Are you ready, love?” he inquired once again.
His large hand caressed your cheeks ever so gently as you nodded. It took you a while to manage to utter a broken yes.
A genuine smile, the same one that captured your heart and bewitched your soul, broke through his lips as he kicked out his shorts and repositioned himself above you. He slowly guided himself past your wet folds. It stretched, burned, and filled you, and it never failed to make you feel complete. His thumb still traced gentle cercles against your burning cheeks as he praised you and chanted how perfect you were for him. how beautiful, dazzling, and amazing you were.
By the time he was fully inside you, your brain was so fogged that the line separating reality from fantasies blended, making it hard to tell what was real and what wasn’t. His hands were all over your body. His lips were littering soft kisses against your burning skin, reminding you that he wasn’t a product of your imagination. Reminding you that this was real. That what was going on between the two of you was real.
And you believed him. You believed and held on to all the unspoken promises he sealed against your skin.
So, you let your head fall back, eyes screwed shut, and gave in to the pleasure waves idly hitting you. You closed your eyes and let them drift you away from all the terrible thoughts that had haunted you for years. You let him trade the darkness devouring you with beams of sunlight and the twinkles of a million stars.
Eren couldn’t get over how dazzling you looked underneath him. With each thrust, the noises that spilled from your mouth pushed him over the edge. He tried to contain himself and take it easy on you. But your parted, swollen lips made it so hard for him to control the violent hurricane of feelings he was trapped in. And you asking him, in your high-pitched, broken voice, to go faster made thinking straight even harder.
His arms looping around your waist and pressing your writhing body against his gave you a sense of safety. You had no idea why, but whenever you found yourself in his arms, all your worries washed away, and the dark clouds invading your sky disappeared. Whenever he was around, all the sad melodies you spent your life listening to changed into happy ones. Smiling, you made a mental note to share this thought with him. to tell him about all the wonderful things he made you feel. to thank him for loving and accepting you as you were. But the unholy rhythm he was pounding on you made your thoughts dissolve like a spoonful of salt in a bottle of water.
Lost in the blissful mist of the building up pleasure, you didn’t realize that he had changed position until he hit that sweet spot that made you see the stars in the middle of your apartment. That particular angle that never failed to make your soul get lost forever in the abyss of your orgasm.
He continued moving in synch with your heartbeat and your lust-filled thoughts. With every buck and every groan, he was bringing dead parts of you back to life. Parts you completely forgot they ever existed.
By the time he collapsed next to you, your ability to think or form a coherent sentence was inexistent. Craving more of his soothing warmth, you instinctively nestled your face in the crook of his neck. A pair of strong, tattooed arms looped around your shaking body, and it felt like home. With the tip of your finger, you absent-mindedly traced the one climbing up his arm and covering his shoulder blade. Caressing his tattoos was one of the numerous habits you developed after you got together.
You remained like that, in each other’s arms, enjoying the comfortable silence until you fell asleep.
When the sunlight filtering through the beige curtains woke you up the next morning, you found yourself tucked under the soft, satin sheets in your bed.
Eren was nowhere to be seen. Sitting with your back pressed against the headboard, you perked your ears, trying to locate where your boyfriend was. But to your surprise, the apartment was as silent as the city streets on a snowy Sunday morning.
After you left your bed, you fished for a t-shirt and exited your bedroom. Your clothes and his, which were scattered all over the living room, were gone. Assuming it was Eren who picked them up, you put some order in the living room before heading to the bathroom to take a quick shower.
You were in the kitchen making breakfast when you heard the door.
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liquidorcard · 3 months ago
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youtube
I'm listening to streams I missed while doing my stuff right now.
At the 1:01:07 mark, what Malcome says here-- as a CSA and regular ol' adult SA survivor myself I can't stress enough how much appreciate him bringing this up and how he articulated the point. Making this distinction between the kinds of ways victims process shit and what Lily does.
TW: very mildly graphic discussion of coping with sexual trauma.
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There's what I can only really describe as a catharsis of sorts to (within healthy limits) expressing the messy, ugly, complicated feelings you're left with battling for the rest of your life when it comes to having to go on living in a body that's been so deeply violated like that. Not always in Psychosexual or in intentionally titillating ways, but ways often others will read as such by it being inherently related to sex, etc. Ways that will just not make sense to people who have never had that experience, sometimes in ways that don't make sense to other survivors.
Not to psychoanalize myself too much here-- but I strongly suspect my deep fascination and love of body horror, which I've had quite literally as long as I can remember, in some part is because it was my only outlet (especially as a child) to metabolize and cope with things that happen to me I both had no framework to understand and no words to express. From a very young age, I have been writing and drawing some extremely violent shit that, to me at the time, wasn't intended to be sexual (I mean, I was a kid. I didn't really have a concept of that shit yet.) But like, I could see how someone could twist it that way if they wanted to be an asshole. This is very much not an uncommon behavior (and a warning sign, btw) for children who have been abused.
Should I have gotten therapy for it? Yes. But that didn't happen. Would it be horribly embarrassing if the horrific fanfics I wrote when I was 12 and could barely spell in English resurfaced full of a traumatized mentally ill kid's understanding of sexual violence resurfaced? If my old DeviantArt account got clocked? Yeah. Again, I could see someone with no understanding of the circumstances in which that live experience puts you in twisting that into the same thing the nightmare mode horny cesspit shit Lily's done.
I do believe that part of why Lily wrote shit like Stockholm has IN PART, something to do with the trauma she went through as a kid. But that she was;
a) old enough that she had to have understood more of what she was doing.
b) continued to write the same kinds of stuff, just less mask off and more layered under a veil of implication and plausible deniability with shit like Poke Madhouse.
c) shown a million red flags that she doesn't regard this shit as horrific inherently and continues to frame it as such in and out of her fiction. When, even when I was a kid-- like, obviously the point of the pieces I did was to express a sense of horror. I framed what I wrote and drew from the position of the victim-- not even as a conscious choice, but because that's what I was. That's what I was trying to express even though I wasn't exactly aware of that-- my feelings as a victim.
Even as an adult, I gravitate towards extreme horror in both my creative work and the media I consume--- not WHOLLY because of all the ways my childhood wasn't that great, but I can't really deny that's part of it. Especially with my professional work as an artist and (hopefully soon) as a writer, even in directly or in a metaphorical way, I draw a lot of my own unpleasant life experiences as my primary idea pool. I don't think that's inherently a bad thing.
It's Lily's PRESENTATION of these kinds of concepts that end up being her telling on herself.
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deusvervewrites · 1 year ago
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When you think about it, the current situation between the state of Jujutsu Kaisen and MHA are really similar. Both Shonen are reaching their end points, with MHA having one more arc to go and JJK having maybe two more. They’ll both end by end of year. Both fandoms are actively imploding: MHA fans are either writing fanfic to deal with Horikoshi’s questionable writing decisions (to be fair, he has to deal with Jump editors) or just coping. (Ask 1/2, I’m running out of space)
Jujutsu Kaisen fans are either coping extremely hard (search up lobotomy Kaisen for context) or just practically praying that Gege fixes the story. Both authors are trying to finish the story up fast. Gege is trying to finish so that they can write their idol manga (yes, really) and earlier, Horokoshi is done with the jump editors. The problems plaguing both manga are even similar, with Horokoshi’s villains being boring and him killing off to many people, and Gege’s villains… (ask 2/3) …Are also boring AF, with the equivalent of the HPSC or even Overhaul, (Kenjaku, who’s as immortal as AFO but actually smart), being replaced as BBEG by Sukuna, who STILL has not had his backstory explained. (And is as dull as AFO.) The only difference is that Gege has killed too many characters for us to care, while the stakes that Horokoshi has put up aren’t all that engaging. (And again, so many pacing issues.) Thankfully Gege seems to be back to writing well, but only after a THREE WEEK …Break. ( sorry, my last ask got sent in early.) With all that said, what do you think about both series? And what do you think either author could do to fix it? (So sorry that my asks are this long, this got longer than I expected, and I didn’t know Tumblr had a character cap) (Ask 3/4)
I never got into Jujutsu Kaisen. I have no idea what it's fandom is doing and I'm not really invested in finding out since I'm not reading that manga. However, I do know enough to weigh in on Sukuna. The reason I hate AFO being an idiotic cardboard cutout is because of how he was built up, and how MHA has other characters represent societal failings, but AFO doesn't. How AFO steals the screentime from the far more compelling Shigaraki.
However.
Sukuna, from my understanding, was always the main antagonist. After all, the series starts with him possessing the protagonist. Additionally, JJK takes many cues from Naruto--which makes sense, as they're both highly influenced by Hunter x Hunter. And Sukuna serves a very similar role to the Nine Tailed Fox in Naruto, but where Kurama eventually came around, Sukuna doesn't. All media is a conversation.
Like, Sukuna is the Evil Curse. Isn't he called The King of Evil Curses or something? Why wouldn't I assume he's the main antagonist, when he's introduced the way he is and given such weighty titles like that and remains a constant threat through the entire story?
I'm sure an actual JJK fan could give a more nuanced take on it though.
As for fixing MHA? You can't. And I'm fine with that. The problems I have with MHA are things that either have to have never happened (the OFA Kills Quirked Wielders bullshit) or needs a total rewrite (the HPSC not being a major antagonist before their destruction). However, Horikoshi already laid the groundwork for all of the things I want rewritten. I don't necessarily need to see Midoriya fight the HPSC to know that they're bad and that he's making a point about government seizing control of bodily autonomy being bad, or that celebrity culture leads to unsustainable pressure and putting people on unrealistic pedestals. Horikoshi has already made those points.
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