#cooking dinner currently consists of me standing over a stove with headphones on laughing like a weirdo

[blackmosscupcakes]

I'm catching up on the Worlds Beyond Number fireside chats and I swear to god just listening to Brennan, Aabria, Lou, and Erika straight up dick around out of character on mic is the best entertainment of my month. I just finished the one for episode 28 where it ended with the goddamn Gummi Bears theme song dance remix and oh my god. I've been listening to it every time I make dinner for a while and just... Aabria and Erika Explain the Omegaverse. Brennan being asked what status effect his witch aura would cause and saying "prone" within about half a second. Lou's ever-delightful interchangeable substitutes. It's so funny.

[lgbt-kpopimagines]

Jealousy (NCT’s Lee Tae Yong (Taeyong) x male!reader)

requested by anonymous

Rating: G

Written by: Admin N

Jaehyun and me had been friends even before his debut. And even after he became a part of NCT and his schedule got busy with practice, concerts and photoshootings, he always kept contact with me, kept inviting me over to his place, as he couldn‘t roam around too freely anymore. Fame came with a prize, after all. But I loved visiting him. It was at his dorm that I met and fell in love with my boyfriend, Taeyong. His sharp features and strong gaze quickly caught my attention, and his kind personality and appreciation for art, as well as his cute fads made me fall for him. I still remember when I volunteered helping Taeyong clean up after a big dinner he had cooked for everyone, because I wanted to be close to my crush. Jaehyun, well aware of the feelings I had for the older rapper, ushered the rest of the band out of the kitchen. I can‘t remember exactly how Taeyong and me went from scrubbing cooking oil off the stove to having our first kiss that evening, but that was what happened.

Of course, after that, my visits at NCT’s dorm became a habit. Jaehyun and Haechan were generously taking in Johnny when I slept in Taeyong’s room. I was glad that the other guys didn’t mind having a gay couple amongst them.

Me and Jaehyun’s year long friendship and closeness, however, sometimes made Taeyong anxious.

“Jaehyun is really good at basketball, isn’t he?”, he would ask. “Do you sometimes play together?” I weighed my head from left to right. “Sometimes.”

“Jagiya, do you like taller guys?” The sudden change in topic made me suspect he was comparing himself to Jaehyun.

“I like you, Taeyong. Exactly the way you are.” I kissed him and he pulled me closer, humming softly into my ear.

“Y/N, did you again go swimming with Jaehyun in the morning?” I knew he wasn’t asking casually, because some nervous shadow would lie in his gaze when he asked those questions.

It only happened occasionally, so I didn’t expect my friendship with Jaehyun to turn into the biggest drama of Taeyong’s and mine happy relationship. Until the day before NCT’s new album promotions. The promotions were only the starting shot of a two-month-long marathon consisting of photoshoots, fanmeetings, concerts, and practice, practice, practice for the band, so that was going to be my last evening with my boyfriend and Jaehyun for a while.

We were having a party at a locality of SM Entertainment, to have enough space and of course, Jaehyun drank a lot, because he can handle it. I got drunk myself, so my memory of the evening is blurry after some point. Taeyong can’t drink too much, I remember that he and WinWin left to buy snacks or something. Then there’s a cut in my memory. Next thing I know is me and Jaehyun singing, arm in arm, everyone laughing and partying, the music still loud. Another cut. Silence around us, Jaehyun was standing up to his waist in the indoor pool, which we had all to ourselves. I was sitting on the rim, splashing my feet into the water. I remember that I told him that he was too drunk to swim. He just laughed and came closer.

“Y/N, don’t worry, I’m with you, nothing can happen!”, he called out enthusiastically and pulled me into the water.

“Jaehyun, I hate you!”, I shrieked, splashing water at him, not caring too much about my wet pants.

“Y/N, I love you!”, Jaehyun laughed and then, in the heat of the moment, he kissed me. It was short and innocent, just a peck on the lips and when we pulled apart my surprise was reflecting in his face.

“Sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s okay, let’s just get out of the pool.” I felt a bit sobered. Holy shit, we both had had too much.

In the end, I called a taxi to go home. Taeyong hadn’t returned, wasn’t answering his phone, and I was too drunk, tired and disappointed about him not showing up to stay any longer. Also, Jaehyun and me felt it was time to call it a day.

I awoke in the afternoon at home. When I checked my phone, I was surprised to neither find any message from Taeyong nor Jaehyun. But after all, they had their intense schedule from today on, so probably both of them were busy. I messaged my boyfriend, telling him that I had arrived home safely after the party, that I was already missing him and asked him for a phone call in the evening. When I remembered the scene in the pool with me and Jaehyun, I also texted my friend, apologized, and assured him that nothing was awkward between us. I knew we had been very drunk.

While Jaehyun answered me back late at night with an apology as well and some friendly jokes and stickers, Taeyong hadn’t even read my messages.

When I still hadn’t received any reaction from him the next morning, I tried to call him. I tried again at lunchtime, in the afternoon, in the evening, and a last time before going to bed. He never picked up. He didn’t read my messages. What the fuck had happened? Had he lost his phone? Ignoring the knot forming in my stomach, I shot Jaehyun a message, asking whether Taeyong was with the group and whether he might have lost his phone. An amused Jaehyun confirmed Taeyong’s presence, as well as the wellbeing of my boyfriend’s phone.

The knot in my stomach reappeared. What was wrong, why didn’t Taeyong answer me? I checked his Instagram, but he hadn’t updated anything so far. An anxious feeling that something was going on came over me, making it hard for me to fall asleep.

How little did I expect that moment that this anxiousness was just the beginning of weeks of tears and agony. Taeyong didn’t answer any of my phone calls. After a few days my messages appeared as “read”, but every text and voice message I sent afterwards was being ignored again. The band was not at their dorm, I couldn‘t go and try to talk to him in person. Every time he updated his Instagram account, my heart ached. There he was, just smiling into the camera, looking so perfect in his makeup and fancy outfits, every time with a different bandmate next to him. He never reacted to any of my comments under the photos neither.

Jaehyun only answered with delays, so until I had managed to tell him that Taeyong apparently had started to hate me without reason, three weeks of me crying myself to sleep had already passed.

I finally managed to get my friend on the phone and explain my dilemma.

Jaehyun sounded exhausted, but alert when he told me that he had noticed Taeyong mostly withdrawing into himself lately, listening to music during brakes, not interacting with the rest of the group.

“I haven’t talked to him one on one since promotions started, actually. I’ll try to talk to him tomorrow, Y/N, I promise.”

After that, Jaehyun didn’t get back to me for some days, in fact. I felt like I was going crazy. Just when I started to try finding out their current location over the band member’s social media, he finally called me.

“Y/N, so sorry, it’s been ages. Actually, they separated us to take individual shootings, and then we had the fanmeeting recently, so I could only talk to Taeyong today.” He cleared his voice.

“So...” In this tiny break, my heart stopped. I didn’t like how serious he sounded. Or was it just exhaustion?

“So, Taeyong is really pissed off for some reason. When I tried to ask him why he wasn’t talking to you anymore, he snapped. ‘As if you wouldn’t know! Don’t act all innocent Jaehyun!’ Then he just left me. I was dumbfounded, I don’t know Taeyong-hyung like that at all.”

I bit my lip. My thoughts were racing. Why was he angry at Jaehyun?

“Taeyong started ignoring me right after the party.”, I said.

“He’s angry at us both, apparently?”, Jaehyun added. There was silence on the line for some seconds.

“Do you think, Y/N… he saw me kissing you in the pool?”, Jaehyun’s voice was tiny and I felt my blood rushing into my feet. I sat down, my head was spinning.

“We were just drunk. It was just…”

“Is he that jealous?”, Jaehyun inquired.

“He sometimes asked about our friendship… Never directly, but I think he sometimes was worrying whether I might actually have a thing for you. Because we’re so close.”

Jaehyun cursed.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

I was fighting back tears.

“I want to talk to him.”, I said. Jaehyun let out a breath.

“We’re going back to Seoul tomorrow, as our concert there is in three days. Come to our dorm, we’ll explain this to him together.”

I couldn‘t sleep that night. It had been almost two months of silence between me and Taeyong. He must have seen that kiss. But instead of confronting me and giving me a chance to explain, he had just decided do be upset and grudgingly ignore me. I got angry in frustration and worry and kept tossing and turning around in my bed.

The dorm was quiet when Jaehyun opened the door. WinWin was sleeping on the couch, and Johnny waved at me with a curious expression on his face. He said nothing though, only gave me a thumbs up.

“I sketched out our problem to him”, Jaehyun explained, “after all, we need Taeyong alone.” My friend nodded towards Taeyong’s door.

My hands were sweaty when I opened the door of Taeyong’s and Johnny’s room. I found my boyfriend sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall, headphones covering his ears. When he saw me and Jaehyun, his eyes grew wide and a cascade of emotions shot through them – surprise, anger, sorrow, confusion, longing, disappointment – before he closed his eyes and turned his head away.

“You’re in the wrong room, you two. Why would you bring your boyfriend here, Jaehyun? To make fun of me?”

His words were like a punch to the stomach. Me and Jaehyun exchanged glances. Boyfriend?  

I sat down next to Taeyong while Jaehyun kept standing.

“Taeyong.” My voice was soft while my heart started hammering in my chest. “You’re angry at me and Jaehyun… Did you… did you see us in the pool at the party before your promotions?”

His head spun around, his eyes locked with mine, burning with anger and accusation. He firmly pushed his headphones down.

“Yeah, I was looking for my boyfriend and instead found you and Jaehyun kiss and being all lovey-dovey back then!”, he spat into my face, furiosly shooting glances in Jaehyun’s direction.

“So, congratualtions on finally having the boyfriend you wanted all along! For what reason did you actually date me then, Y/N? Make yourself look interesting to your life-long-best-friend? Show him that you’re actually into men, subtle signalling and so on?”

Taeyong leaned closer to me and I leaned back. I could feel that he had kept all this bottled up until now, the space between us was brimming with his anger.

“He’s taller than me, he’s younger than me, he’s been close to you for ages, his body is gorgeous-”

Jaehyun made an uncomfortable sound.

“Jagi, no” I firmly interrupted when I saw tears forming in Taeyong’s eyes.

“Me and Jaehyun are not dating! And we never will!”

“We were both super drunk that night.”, Jaehyun added quickly. “I got carried away, Y/N said he hated me, well, so I said I loved him and to stress my drunk rambling, pecked him on the lips. It was not even a proper kiss! There’s nothing going on between us. We were just being two stupid, very drunk friends!”

Taeyong suspiciously looked from me to Jaehyun and back.

“But you… called with Y/N so many times, Jaehyun...”

“Because Y/N was crying to me about you not answering him!” Haehyun rolled his eyes.

Taeyong paused, his furious energy faded.

“Why didn’t you confront me, Taeyong?”, I asked gently.

He hesitated. “I… didn’t want to intrude into your newfound happiness. I just wanted to forget.”

Jaehyun moaned.

“You could’ve saved everyone a lot of emotional distress, Hyung!” My boyfriend bit his lip.

“I love you, Taeyong.”, I said, carefully taking his hand. “Jaehyun is just a friend and will always be. Please forgive us the accident at the pool.”

“It really had no meaning at all!”, Jaehyun insisted.

Taeyong interlaced his fingers with mine, avoiding my eyes.

“So… you still want to be me boyfriend, Y/N, even though I’m a jerk?” He seemed embarrassed.

“Well yes of course!”, I insisted and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. I felt so relieved to have him back. Taeyong squeezed my hand before letting his head sink against my shoulder. Jaehyun smiled at us, then left with an apologetic nod.

“I love you too, Y/N”, Taeyong said as soon as the door had closed behind him, “I missed you a lot. I’m sorry for ignoring you.”