#continued at maybe 5 and lost the original paragraph to the second to the last verse

[creamypalazzo]

as to cater to my lack of sleep I ended up becoming very hyper aware of a song that got stuck in my head, and it’s called god is fair, sexy, nasty by Mac Miller, and it’s a song in my jotakak playlist that elicits incredibly h0rny + romantic energy that I wanna believe is also up to par with jotaro and kakyoin’s relationship in my o p i n i o n because I am in love with them and they are in love and babies and in spite of the very hypersexual lyrics here I also wanna be inclusive to the romantic expressions here and there that also perfectly match up to mu headcanons of their relationship lmao,, also do note that I like bottom jotaro and this is also mostly in Kakyoin’s perspective so it’s also what made the song contribute so well and I Am Like This Because God Made It So and it’s ok.

actually what I wanna talk about before the lyrics is the segment of jazz that plays before it delves into mac’s usual r&b/hip hop instrumental, it’s supposed to set the mood smoothly and because of that, all I think about is the thought of jotaro and his love for jazz that is also never really regarded by a lot of fans. It’s an unusual trait considering the Everything that jotaro is but I love to see it as a way that Kakyoin doesn’t Ignore that part of him and knows how he fully is- Jotaro isn’t completely cold and edgy and bitter, he still has a brighter side to him, and his love for him is what makes him so seen.

funny enough, there wasn’t much background to the song aside from the chorus itself from kendrick lamar, though that does save me enough time and I’ve only done the better reading to understand the first chorus, which is this:

apparently for a time, Kendrick suffered immense survivor’s guilt and trauma that happened when he was younger, amidst all his success he still suffered a lot of issues that his partner had continually supported him through the rougher times- all the violence he suffered from has cultivated all into the “bullet” where his partner is represented as a rose, and their love has been the reason he’d been able to get through his issues. It’s also continued to the rest of the chorus, being together and folding into each other’s desires is also a parallel to Kakyoin and Jotaro’s relationship, where the hardest come down they’d know each other so well, so intimately, to be able to find each other in ways that they’d only ever know.

tbh probably one of my favorite things about Jotaro’s relationships is that they’d always always always emphasize his beauty- he isn’t all his beauty, but the fact his personality is practically worn on his face is what makes it. To me, Jotaro is forced to be fully aware of his features from the attention he’s gotten, but with his intimidating demeanor it also gets pointed out too because, 1) fear is an aphrodisiac, 2) it makes him so much more powerful that way, to be beautiful and feared is probably a feeling that he doesn’t get to understand would be so good, honestly, but to think that Kakyoin would take the sight of him in, would make him feel like he’s been looking at a god. Ironically, a god that would definitely make him commit sins and defilings of desires he didn’t even think he’d have on Jotaro, but here they are. Kakyoin would be mesmerized, especially with being an artist, he could paint him, paint on him, his body and his face is a work of art that subjects him into a place of some kind of worship because it definitely deserves it, but Kakyoin’s got desires that even makes the devil shiver.

This is probably one of the verses that struck me the most, and I say one of because there’s actually more to it. There isn’t any background as to, say, if this song was about anybody in particular, the only song in the album that was actually mentioned to be about someone entirely was Cinderella (and that shit got wild real fast lmao). But to know that this was probably about someone who was cold, who definitely had issues too? God. Jotaro is cold, when it comes to his feelings he honestly will probably not keep up with them. It makes him turn away from people who he should have been vulnerable around, who he’s allowed to be weak around, but he wants to hide it and shows it constantly, sex or not he’s probably always into the rougher things as to compensate. I like to think Kakyoin is there to test it- aside from the actual connotation, relationships always test people to how they become better than they used to be, it’s not just a test for each other but it is a test for themselves, in the name of love and the loves of their life, it’s a matter of asking, what do you want to do? Is it for them, or yourself? And in this case, ‘take my time, hit that slow’ shows off the contrast to what Jotaro normally ventures off to. Jotaro would have to adjust for that and also be made to understand what Kakyoin would feel, think, in the pace that he, for once, would want them in. Jotaro can finally learn, in and out of sex how he should consider the most out of Kakyoin- I know events of SDC would say that he does consider a lot because of Holly, but he doesn’t exactly have easier times reading his friends or family and most of the time does stay in a self-indulgent bubble where he doesn’t really know how to treat people’s feelings other than the ways he knows how. Kakyoin is a test to it, and Jotaro follows because he has the need to understand it, to know him.

You’re the only thing for me in this fucked up world is also a really painful statement, to me at least. It hits hard with the fact that Mac and Ariana later broke up because of their relationship turning toxic, I know he didn’t make this song for her but to know this statement was written out of his heart is what makes the genuity. Kakyoin, as we know has mostly been alone his whole life. He never really got to be vulnerable around other kids and his only friend was his stand that way, only being able to cope with his excess time with the fact that Hierophant could help him play video games better and that was probably just how he spent it. Alone, definitely unused to company that felt like he knew him. Enter Jotaro, new to stands, just as socially inept, same liking to sumo, gorgeous as hell and checking every box that Tenmei Kakyoin didn’t even know he had. He saved him from a lifetime of pain and suffering, saw a part of him that also made him understand that they weren’t alone. They’re the only two kids in a world of war and other dangerous things, the fact that they both don’t know how to interact with each other like normal people do is both hilarious and endearing, but it’s made better by the fact that it makes them understand and like each other. It’s almost like a matter of fate that way, because honestly, how long would have Kakyoin gone if he hadn’t met the Crusaders? He fell into Dio’s hands so quick because Dio could understand him, see right through him with his desperations and loneliness, but later fell for Jotaro because it’s all genuine, and a person that Kakyoin has learned to love because they didn’t know how to get to each other until they had to learn how.

And do you believe in love? Is another part of them. I never thought that Jotaro nor Kakyoin would honestly think of it, they had other shit to think about and it was definitely not girls, Kakyoin probably had a thing for h3ntai (I had a running joke somewhere that he was ripped because he kept jerking off lmao) but I doubt he ever indulged in the romantic areas, he never cared about it in particular until Jotaro came around to make him realize, oh, this was a crush. I always headcanoned that Jotaro was gay: he wasn’t exactly growing up in the best time to think about it, nor did he really like girls, his next best big brain moment was to probably ignore the feeling and just believed that girls were a whole no. Well, yes, the annoying stalkers mostly were at fault, but it made him not like the appeal of them, where he didn’t understand how boys would look at girls and drool over their thighs, where girls would fight about whose chests were smaller, because girls were just so boring and annoying to look at. It’s boys on the other hand that always had his attention. Many of the guys in his school probably would have been excited/terrified that the cool, smart Jotaro Kujo would approach them, and probably take him in as his friend or probably pick a fight, but in reality, he just didn’t know how to approach someone attractive, let alone someone of the same gender when his relationship with his father continually strained. So then he thought over it, a lot. Holding hands with a boy, kissing a boy. Hooking his arm around one, holding onto him no matter what. For a time he thought he just couldn’t be in love, it was just that he didn’t like the idea of it being with a girl, that was all.

Hold on tight when demons come / It’ll be alright, no need to run / Stay with me tonight, we’ll see the sun / And when we wake up we’ll still be drunk Ah yes, this verse analysis is going to be very long as I Analyse this until I pass out from sleep deprivation. These two lines are a combination of what I’ve said in both the previous paragraph and fourth one, reiterating my statements again, but I think this is the dawning of their trust with each other when they finally get to like each other. They both need someone they can trust and understand, but it’s Jotaro who has to be the one to not run away from it while Kakyoin is the one who holds on tightly because he’s never had this at all before. Someone like him has definitely developed attachment issues that way, and he’s not letting Jotaro get away from something that he knows they both need. Hence the cuddliness in the last three: Never felt this free before / I need you more than keys and doors / I need you sleepin’ next to me

You know by this point in their journey you wonder how deprived of touch everybody is, but especially with Kakyoin and Jotaro being together now this seems to end up as a way to deal with touch starvation with each other. I doubt both would be used to any of the contact, but it’s Kakyoin who’s trying to be more enthusiastic with it while Jotaro is also trying to adjust himself even though he doesn’t quite have any idea of what to do. But they try, try a lot, and Kakyoin finds that he enjoys holding Jotaro and Jotaro’s learned to love feeling and being held, being loved by this boy, no less. It makes them miss each other more every time they stay apart, the fact that Kakyoin got his ass handed to him back in the desert is also what makes it difficult, every time Jotaro visits him in the hospital Kakyoin would probably take his hand and hold it close to his face before kissing it, always so impatient and probably a bit horny and inappropriate than he needs to be and most of all lonely— and jotaro in turn would direct him to his lips where they’d always kiss softly, slowly turning desperate, both just progressively careless in the predicament with Kakyoin only being able to navigate Jotaro’s neck and jaw with kisses, Jotaro trying so much as to not lift the hospital gown and instead holding his scalp while he presses kisses all over his face, and sure it’s only been probably a week or so but they missed each other so god damn much, Kakyoin missing cupping Jotaro’s cheek and taking in the absolute sight of how beautiful he always is, but while he’s recovering he’s just glad he could still be able to touch him.

(You shy,) you don’t reveal too much / (No lies,) don’t hide your self at all / (Where’s your—) I just can’t help but fall / (It’s true,) and I’ve tried everything / My sexy, nasty thing / is actually the set of lines that hits the most here tbh. They carry the same sentiments that I’ve said in my fourth paragraph and supposedly should have been my previous one if it weren’t for the fact that that shit got deleted and all but I guess my WiFi just wouldn’t work yknow,,, anyway by this point I don’t believe that this is because of any clothing related reveal situation whatsoever, I like associating this with the idea that Jotaro’s so used to shutting his feelings out that it’s so difficult to express them, but anytime he sees Kakyoin he’s just so . unused to feeling free and allowed to be able to see him in this light while Kakyoin is made to be so aware of it. It makes Jotaro feel naked, even if they have their clothes on, he may not be that expressive but Kakyoin’s found himself starting to recognize the building looks that Jotaro’s giving him, hooded eyes or widened ones where he looks so curious and stunned. If Jotaro would be made too aware of it his pride makes him swallow and look away, but a lot of the time Kakyoin, even so overwhelmed and flustered, would encourage him not to be ashamed of it, to be vulnerable to him because he loves the feeling that the way he looks at him is actually being returned. They love each other, even if they were young they knew it was love. It was so perfectly destined that God had to be the one to cut it short. 

There’s a line from a JotaKak doujinshi in particular that somehow manages to hurt me to read every time called Let’s Meet at The Usual place; it’s a doujinshi presenting memories of Kakyoin and Jotaro’s relationship where they realize they like each other (yes there is a lot of sex but yeah), and the very last line is Kakyoin’s final message when looking back to them:

I don’t like being lonely, so please talk to me from time to time. There’s a story that I don’t know, so let’s meet at the usual place. 

Now, I bring this up, while also crying, because at a point, Kakyoin’s childhood problems have definitely affected him badly growing up. It’s considered that he has a lot of obvious signs of clinical depression, which is a topic that can be discussed here, but I wonder how frequent he could go into these episodes? Did he ever take meds? I know I’ve had a fair share to this kinda shit but god damn, it’s mentioned in the link above that it probably ranges in a severity, and it makes sense! How many episodes has he gone through it alone? How long did he have to believe that he was alone, considering he decided outright he could never be friends with someone who can’t see his stand? It’s emphasized a lot that if it weren’t for the stands, Jotaro and Kakyoin wouldn’t have been friends at all. I just think: With the presence of the Crusaders, he definitely developed a peace of mind. 

Why do I say this? It’s mostly taking into consideration with the way Mac handles his feelings: he gets really emotional when he’s high- in this case, even if Kakyoin hadn’t been using his meds, how emotional can he get in episodes or developing episodes in particular? How far do these go, and how much does it trouble Jotaro that he doesn’t even know what to do? I wanna believe that for the most part, he’d feel better, definitely a lot better, even in his episodes he could look at Jotaro and realize that he’s waited far too long for somebody who could understand him, who could see him, taking him to a place where he feels warmer, happier, and he would hold Jotaro close to him and realize he has more than just thanking him for literally saving his life. Jotaro would be everything to him. 

Honestly, I don’t think Jotaro has carried similar feelings of loneliness, but he had a feeling of want to this. He knows his desires, he knows what he likes, who he loves, most importantly, but he realized that without Kakyoin’s presence it’s suddenly so boring and sad without him. In a way he feels scared, even though he knows Kakyoin is strong enough to handle himself, his worry manifests in a way that he knows that it’s how his mother could worry but it just can’t be helped.  

Will you come home with me? Hits HARDEST, especially, I know a lot of this is sexual undertones but as I’ve repeatedly stated, god damn does the change in context make it hurt, like there’s definitely been a lot of talk and a lot of promises that were made for when they come back home, Jotaro would have wanted to bring him home to Holly where she’d be safe and sound, and he knew for a fact that seeing her again, with the idea that she’d be overjoyed with them being together has given him something so pleasant. 

But Jotaro could never have that. He never got to say goodbye, or save him in time. For the longest time, Jotaro has realized that there was nobody that was going to make him this happy. 

And, really. Nobody could do it like Kakyoin, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be happy again. 

[zosonils]

Crossover you say 👀

OKAY SO. SONIC COLOURS/MEGA MAN CROSSOVER

i don't have much in mind story wise, but i'm thinking it takes place under the same conditions as worlds collide, which i insist on believing also happened nearly identically offscreen in the game timeline because nobody can tell me otherwise. fairly basic setup of eggman and wily teaming up to cause problems on purpose and sonic and rock working together to stop them, and now there's wisps in the mix >:O i'm sure i could think up a fun excuse plot for why sonic colours happens twice and also mega man is here now, but mostly this was just an excuse to put the special interest in the hyperfixation and come up with some fun weapons for rock based on my first and favourite sonic game

each robot master is based on a wisp from either version of the original colours, which causes a little confusion given that you end up with two burst men and drill men but these ones have different EWN-XXX serial numbers and are entirely unrelated to their canon mega man counterparts. i haven't actually drawn the robot masters yet or thought up designs or personalities, just come up with their weapons and what stage they'd inhabit, but maybe i'll do that sometime. the robot masters are something like this

EWN-010 BURST MAN - weak to drill dash, gives bursting blaze, sweet mountain stage

EWN-011 ROCKET MAN - weak to cubic satellite, gives rocket jump, terminal velocity stage

EWN-012 DRILL MAN - weak to spike spin, gives drill dash, tropical resort stage

EWN-013 HOVER MAN - weak to rocket jump, gives hovering shockwave, starlight carnival stage

EWN-014 LASER MAN - weak to frenetic void, gives prism laser, aquarium park stage

EWN-015 CUBE MAN - weak to prism laser, gives cubic satellite, wii game land stage

EWN-016 VOID MAN - weak to bursting blaze, gives frenetic void, asteroid coaster stage

EWN-017 SPIKE MAN - weak to hovering shockwave, gives spike spin, planet wisp stage

i wrote up some really detailed information on how all the weapons work but i'll put that under a cut to prevent this post from getting too long! if you don't feel like reading massive paragraphs of game design ideas, here's the microsoft paint scribblings i did of all of them [sonic is there too]

BURSTING BLAZE

a chargeable attack that blasts out a sphere of fire to deal damage. charging it longer sends the fire out further and increases its damage output, but costs more weapon energy. without any charging it's a pretty standard low-range attack, but at maximum charge it functions as a screen nuke on par with the likes of rain flush, tornado blow, or astro crush. if rock takes damage while charging bursting blaze, he'll automatically release it at whatever charge level it was at when he got hit. in addition to the obvious usefulness of a fucking screen nuke, a less- or uncharged bursting blaze can be a handy way to quickly get some personal space in a tight situation.

cost: 1 unit when uncharged, 7 when fully charged [28 uses uncharged or 4 fully charged from a full gauge]. has five in-between charge levels costing 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 units from least to most powerful.

i came up with this name first because i wanted it to have blaze in it because i fucking love blaze the cat.

ROCKET JUMP

an explosion that launches rock much higher than a normal jump would take him, about the height of one screen. in addition to the explosion at the bottom dealing damage, rock's body deals contact damage until his upward momentum stops, which tears through enemies with low health or a weakness to rocket jump but doesn't protect him against bulkier foes or stage hazards. while he can still move left or right while rocketing upwards, the only way for rock to stop moving upwards is to either naturally run out of momentum, hit a ceiling, or take damage.

some platforms can only be reached by using rocket jump.

cost: 3 units per use [10 uses from a full gauge]

obviously a joke based on the rocket jump technique in a lot of video games, lmao. rock blows himself up and ragdolls so hard he clips out of the interstellar amusement park and sonic watches as he falls past every kill plane and into infinity forever

DRILL DASH

a dash attack slightly faster than the slide going straight down, sideways, or diagonally down-left or down-right, similar to the pile driver but shorter and without upwards reach. has fairly low attack power, equivalent to two mega buster shots, but pushes surviving enemies back, allowing them to be hit again and again with a chain of drill dashes. underwater, it moves significantly faster and further, and can be fired up as well as down, unlocking eight-directional dashing.

if rock hits a solid wall he'll bounce off of it, but if he hits certain types of dirt-like walls he'll drill into them, which can uncover helpful items like health and weapon refills and occasionally 1-ups or e-tanks [probably in scripted locations].

cost: 2 units per use [14 uses from a full gauge]

i've never played mighty no. 9 but i've seen footage of like the dash thingy he can do? because it probably looks kinda like that.

HOVERING SHOCKWAVE

fires a shockwave that doesn't hurt any more than a standard mega buster shot [unless the enemy in question is weak to it], but stuns most enemies and has a fairly decent range. if you fire it in midair and then hold down the attack button, rock's falling speed will decrease dramatically, and he'll continue to float until either he hits the ground, the attack button is released, or he takes damage. hovering will cost additional energy, and if hovering shockwave is used in midair it can't be used again until rock hits the ground at least once.

cost: 1.5 units per use [19 uses from a full gauge], plus an extra 3 units per second of hovering, for a total of a little under 9 seconds of hovering taking the initial shot into account.

this one's pretty directly lifted from the hover wispon in sonic forces.

PRISM LASER

a laser projectile that either bounces off or goes through anything it hits a set number of times, maybe three to five. if it destroys an enemy its movement is unchanged; if it hits a wall or an enemy that doesn't immediately die to it then it bounces instead. can be fired in all eight directions, but once fired its trajectory is out of the player's hands. basically imagine gemini laser, then imagine it being obscenely better in every conceivable way. best used in enclosed rooms where it can bounce around a lot and doesn't have much opportunity to get lost offscreen.

some rooms have prisms in them like the ones in colours that automatically redirect prism laser, guiding them to destroy enemies blocking paths and the like.

cost: 6 units per use [5 uses from a full gauge]

cyan laser was my favourite colour power when i was a little baby because haha bright colour funny sound go wheeee. prism laser is probably overpowered because of this bias lmao.

CUBIC SATELLITE

summons four [?] orbiting cubes that shield rock from one hit each. they deal damage to enemies they touch unless said enemy is immune to the power. standard shield weapon, blue cube is a lame overly situational gimmick and i couldn't think of anything better. rock can still fire and charge his mega buster while shielded, but obviously can't use any special weapons. every time a cube is destroyed, the remaining ones spin faster, looking something like the tubinaut badnik from sonic mania. that's just a visual effect i don't know what else to write here it's a shield weapon.

cost: 3.5 units per use [8 units from a full gauge]

i think i'd like shield weapons more if i knew how to use the attacking ones to actually attack. i used leaf shield about 3 times in mega man 2 and every time i flung it in the wrong direction and got hit anyway.

FRENETIC VOID

sucks in any enemies that rock is facing for as long as the attack button is held down, drawing them to a point just in front of him. when released, the blasters on his arms [which in this form morph to look like the purple frenzy mouth] crunch down in front of him, dealing slightly more damage than a charged mega buster shot to anything that's been pulled in close enough and knocking back anything that isn't destroyed. rock can't move while using frenetic void, and if anything hits him while he's vaccuuming he drops the move without the finishing bite or knockback. this move can also draw in most types of bullets, which are absorbed and disappear if they reach the void, or continue in whatever direction they were pulled in if the move ends before they get there.

cost: 3 units per use [10 units from a full gauge]

i thought it'd be cool to combine purple frenzy and violet void somehow. i used void for the robot master name because i believe in sonic colours ds port supremacy, but the decision was ultimately pretty arbitrary.

SPIKE SPIN

what top spin wishes it was. a close-range attack where spikes emerge from rock's body as he does a speen, giving him a somewhat bigger hitbox. when he hits an enemy, he bounces off of it in a manner similar to the way sonic bounces off of everything he hits. the move lasts as long as the attack button is held down, draining weapon energy over time, and rock can still walk and jump while speening. some projectiles will bounce off of spike spin [generally small bullets like those from mets or sniper joes will bounce off while anything stronger will still hurt], and holding the move makes rock immune to spikes, allowing him to walk over them safely until his weapon energy depletes.

some items may be tucked away in places that are difficult or impossible to reach without walking over spikes, requiring the use of spike spin to reach them.

cost: 4 units per second, for a total of 7 seconds of spinning from a full gauge. the first unit is depleted the moment the button is pressed so the move can't be scummed into lasting longer.

honestly now that i'm thinking about this i might change spike spin to act a little more like how pink spike spindashes, but i was overcome by a desire for justice for top man.

i don't know how to end this post lmao but i've been thinking about this crossover for days on end. i know damn well it's a pipe dream but right now i'm in just the right mode of hyperfixation that if sega and capcom announced a sonic/mega man crossover in a video game that isn't smash lmao i would ASCEND

[btswishes]

Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 1 )

Part1 / Next 

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N: This is my first Marvel fic and I am taking it as a challenge. It is opposite of what my account was made, but here I go. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit.

Word count:  3,281

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU 

Y/N- Your name Y/L/N:  Your Last Name

                                   --------------------------------------

  Through sleepless nights and dark circles, books and pens, through months of work you reached your goal. The moment you received the acceptance letter from Stark University you almost flew out the window without a fear in your mind. This was it!

  Time had passed since that moment, but it is still engraved in your mind- a memory keeping you strong during the hard midterms and piles of work, even the small glimmers of regret. Trying your best wasn’t an option, you could do only that and no less. It was no easy task, lost social life as much as you tried to keep it. You were really lucky you had good friends that understood and supported you. University wasn’t easy for anyone making this one even tougher. People of all ages, backgrounds and cultures were piled up with you in this building. The best of the best as the slogan said, the ones that proved themselves and emerged victorious.

  When you were young ,you used to spend a lot of time with your uncle at his places outside the country. He would introduce you to his work colleagues and things you had never seen before. There was a time where you would spend months on end with him. Not many memories were left from those moments in your head. At one point you spend a few years with him, your mother thought it would be good experience for you and it turned out to be nothing but the truth-at least you hoped so. You learned a lot from him and his friends, it felt like each spend day would offer you more knowledge in areas you never knew of. Computer work, ways of thinking and so much more that had become second nature to you.

  The sky was tinted in a wash of oranges, reds and yellows bleeding one into the other, swirling around the sun emitting them. The day was ending, but you found yourself filling up an application in the library, covered by the silence and smell of exam worry.

  Sponsored and founded by the one and only Tony Stark, this establishment offered an internship. Being part of the Avengers, Tony didn’t let just anyone from the students attending in, even if they were the best labeled by the school. It had been a year and a half since you started pushing yourself harder to be able to apply and there was nothing that could stop you. Pressing your finger over the enter button was very nerve wrecking yet simple. Even if it didn’t work out this year, you planned to do it again and again ,till he had no other choice but give you a chance.

  Usually F.R.I.D.A.Y. went over everything and left only the applications worth going over by Tony himself or Pepper. The next 5 weeks for you were very stressful, but there was nothing more you could do but wait and focus on your own work. The first person you wanted to tell about this was your uncle. He went to work in some distant place where they had no internet so you switched to mail. Not as much paper under his name passed through your hands, as he had stopped answering you. You missed him, but the muddy childhood memories kind of compensated for that.

“Did you send it in?” the phone muffled a bit the sweet voice coming from the speaker 

“Yeah, a few days ago actually.” You answered with a gentle sigh

“And no answer yet?” the girl’s pitch rose at the end of the sentence, amazed at that what she just heard

“I know, I know. Think about it though Nea. Who knows how many applications get submitted. Someone has to brush through them after all.” defending the situation was a form of coping for you, made you feel hopeful.

“So you are trying to tell me Tony Stark’s interface or whatever it’s called, can’t sort them out in a couple of hours? Come on Y/N! You and I both know you are trying to make yourself feel better.” The small pause made you anxious over what Nea said “Listen.” A breathy start of the sentence “ I don’t mean to brag, but I think I am one of the people who know exactly how much you deserve this. You were never the studious type, plus that you were gone for years on end with that mysterious uncle of yours. I never expected you to suddenly go for Stark University. Your dream changed you, from this quiet kid to crazy ol’ you right now on the call with me.I ain’t letting you bust yourself up over this just because it didn’t happen the first time around-”

                Ding ding

  Nea’s deep speech was cut off before she could unleash herself completely, by the slight ring of your phone’s notification.

“Who tf has the audacity to text while the great me is giving this legendary –“

                Ding!

  The second time the sound sung out made her choke up with anger, you could almost see the fumes coming out of the phone.

“WHO IS IT!” a loud hiss pierced your ear

“Maybe if you gave me a minute I could answer your question.” Pulling the call down, your finger ran over the screen to the email, making your notification lamp blink like a car. Almost instantly it opened before your eyes and you gasped. The action made you swallow suddenly and cough out a bit ,giving poor Nea an idea about the level of shock you were in.

“What?What? You can’t just almost die and not tell me what is going on.” She proceeded with a not so tasteful interrogation.

“I-…they accepted my application…” at the end a small smile flowed over your lips contorting the sound coming out

“Stop!?” she choked up as well “You gotta be fucking with me!? No fucking way this is real!”

“I am honest. It says here that they liked my skill set, my grades and the way of thinking I presented in my essay. I got the spot Nea! I fucking did it!” you threw the phone on the bed letting it bounce as you started dancing.

“Of course you did! I told you! You will be working with THE AVENGERSSSS!” at some point it sounded like your best friend was more excited than you “When do you start?”

“Well…” taking a second to calm down and re-establish contact with your phone, you looked up the schedule that came attached with the email “…ok…so it says here that I will be starting on Monday so~ in 2 days? “

“So soon! Any requirements for the job miss Avenger’s sidekick?” and the teasing begins

“A list, surprisingly.” Rolling onto your back, you held the screen away and above your face, scrolling past “ I guess my first job will be with Dr. Banner in the lab. Apparently I will be given some sort of assignments throughout the 5 months work span. I will be monitored by Dr. Bruce Banner and the grading, I guess if you can call It that ,will be done by Tony Stark himself.”

“Basically Hulk will be your babysitter.” once this girl starts teasing she never stops even in amazing situations such as this one, good thing you loved her “That sounds so cool though! You will be able to meet Captain America and Black Widow~! I am so jelly of you I swear! When you leave work make sure to wait for someone from the group to walk by, omgggg I am fangirling so much right now.What if you go to dinners with them!?AAAAA!”

“Fun thing about that.” Your eyes landed on the last paragraph of the email “It says here that I am supposed to move into the compound and stay there till further notice. The whole idea is that if I do things well I will get a permanent job. Weird…” you hummed

“Weird !? How? That is so cool! Who knows you might even become an Avenger! You will be living with them anyways.” at this point Nea was either not breathing or hyperventilating so fast you couldn’t hear it

“Don’t be ridiculous.” your attention landed once more on the thought process you had a moment ago “I don’t get one thing. They say here that my PE grades combined with my IT and overall studies make me a great candidate, but I don’t remember sports being a requirement at all, or even providing them in the first place. Does it mean that if my grades were low in that department I wouldn’t have gotten the spot?”

“I guess people of science aren’t that flexible. Who cares anyways! You got in, no ifs and buts. I am telling you, at this point you could be an Avenger.” poor girl began thinking of names and suit designs for you “ Hurry up and pack those bags before I drop by with take away, so we can gossip over Steve Rogers’s abs.”

“Um…don’t get me wrong he is super hot, I just see the Cap more like an older brother figure than anything.” It was true, you looked up to him since the first time you studied about the Civil War. Fearless, gave his life in a way for his people, astonishing man over all.

“Hey! Let me drool over him! You were always more of a Winter Soldier fan anyways.” Nea pouted audibly . Her words made some lone memory pop up in your head, but it was as murky as the rest. “I don’t know why I am interested in him. Somehow his look is very nostalgic and rugged. Anyways. ”you shook your head out of the mental image of the soldier “I will go pack up, tell my parents and fix up all my documents. Probably find some stuff from former Stark employees online. I want to have a bit of an idea of what he expects and what I am getting myself into.”

“Fine fine, you could have just said you like troubled guys. You were the one who was happy Loki got a second chance after all. I will be over in like 3 hours.” She informed you

“Hey! He deserved to redeem himself, he was used!” a firm Loki supporter as always “Ok then, see ya.”

   Hanging up the call you placed your phone to charge and rolled off your bed. The email gave vague information about what you needed, but clothing wise you would still be able to come home and get stuff if you had to. What was on top of your priorities were papers, documents, all your research materials and tech. Those things had to be organized no matter what ,since they got you this far in the first place.

  Nae came over as planned and you two had a nice sleepover talking about you know who. The night came and left, letting the morning find you in your bed at 11am. Your forearm rested on top of your forehead in a relaxed manner, letting enough space for an exhale to linger in the air in front of you. Your mind was going over everything that was about to happen to you. It was one of your dreams, you worked for it nonstop day in day out, so why were you so worried about meeting the rest of the Avengers? Maybe it was just anxiety or fear of the unknown, yeah made sense.

  All you did during the day was make lists for every piece of tech you were binging with yourself. Things seemed to be in order, but worry kept nibbling on your bones. The moment of truth finally rolled up and so did your suitcase in front of your house. Nea came to send you off as she promised.

“Sweetie, make sure to call us every day. Eat well, don’t overwork yourself and-“ your mom went off with caution about anything and everything that came to mind

“Mom, you know I am going 3 blocks down from here right? Plus I can come home at any time I want to. I am not moving to Mars or getting arrested.” You smirked the panic away from her, giving them a big hug.

“Call me or text me when you get there.” Nea pulled you in, whispering in your ear as quietly as possible “And don’t forget to sneak me a booty pick of good ol’Cap. You know what they say-”

“That is America’s ass.” Your voice came out in a mocking tone

“That i-…let me at least finish it by myself! Geez!” she pushed you towards the door “Ok ok, go now before you spoil me something else” her arms crossed in front of her chest

  The walk wasn’t that long, you were too invested in your own thoughts to notice when the time and distance had passed. The glistening windows of the compound building shined into your eyes. Your lungs filled up with a breath that they kept in for a moment, before releasing it back in the outside world. Pulling out the documents you stepped in. The fresh smelling air hit you making you close one eye for a second.

People were walking around you fast and concentrated. Some looked in a hurry, others were on break with a cup of coffee and a strain-leaving expression.

 Your feet, as slightly shaky as they were, took you right up to the front desk were a lady with a dark rich red colored uniform looked at you. She flashed a professional smile, her eyes asking for your purpose.

“Um, hello. My name is Y/N -Y/L/N.” she saw the logo on your papers and gasped

“You must be the new intern Mr. Stark told us about.” She signed something and reached out “Can you give me your hand for a second.” Your fingers didn’t go past the surface of the desk when she pocked your skin. Pulling in your extremity, your palm wrapped around the spot that began to sting a bit “Don’t worry about it. This is your identification pass. Fancy, no?” she smiled winking. Her body stood up as she pointed at the elevator far in the back of the foyer.

  Instructions were given with each step of the way, calming your nerves a bit. The moment you found yourself inside the elevator she pulled your hand to the sensor on the wall next to the buttons.

Recognized: Code 2514. Welcome Miss Y/N  

 Your head shot up when F.R.I.D.Y.’s voice echoed in the small space. The women smiled giving you a small nod and stepped out of the vicinity. Once her body was outside ,the doors slid closed. Over them glowed a protective blue light layering over the material like a soft veil.

 It felt like you weren’t moving an inch. Your body flinched when the sun stung at your eyes from the window. Your gaze landed over the view of the city, as you went higher and higher, ascending into the clouds  The blues and yellows were covering the inside of the elevator, such vibrant and lovely colors warming your body. For a moment your heart felt heavy- lost memory tugged onto it again. An often occurrence lately, yet you kept brushing off as deja vu. 

Floor 134. Welcome to the Avenger’s compound Miss Y/N

“134!?” the numbers cracked out with your voice. The interface made you turn towards the opposite opening doors revealing a room as big as a hall, if not almost a stadium. The ceiling was high being the lid to this round area. Your heart beat increased pumping blood to your body, dilating your pupils at least twice their original size. It look amazing, almost like you had just entered heaven. The walls were white, the furniture was perfectly placed and cream colored. Stepping outside you jumped at the sound of the elevator doors closing behind you. 

“Wow” escaped your lips, your hand pulling the suitcase closer. So this was the common room or the shared space. The windows were so big they were practically a wall of their own. The bright rays were making themselves at home giving the white paint a new color with each passing minute. The ceilings were probably the equivalent of 3 floors in height. There was this weird feeling of home inside, a bit of isolation maybe mixed in. 

“Miss Y/N?” your head swung to the side when you recognized that shy but bright smile. Throwing the papers on top of your suitcase, you extended your arm at the man.

“Ah.” Good thing your mind automatically responds politely to people without you giving it much thought “Dr. Banner. It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance.” you shook his hand gently a couple of times and let go ,finding the papers and showing them to him “My name is Y/N-Y/L/N.” gentle bow and a smile followed the words skillfully chosen

“Welcome Welcome. Tony is out right now so I might be the only one actively walking around the compound. Well…”he scratched the back of his neck, lightly hunching over with a sheepish smile “I am one of the people you will be working under anyways, so I guess it is good that I came to get you. I would love to show you the lab, but I am sure you would like to set up your things first.” You nodded and he showed you to your room. The corridor had 3 tall doors scattered on the walls, all looking modern and elegant.

“This is the side where usually we have our female members. Natasha and Wanda will be your nextdoor neighbors. Hope it won’t be any trouble.” Bruce looked at you ,when an aggressive shake took over your neck

“No, no. Not at all sir. I am very grateful to have such amazing heroes next to me. As a matter of fact won’t they be troubled with me here?” and here came the normal anxiety that you had for everything

“I am sure they will like you. Don’t worry about it.” Bruce stepped next to the door and waved you over “You don’t have a key or a door handle as a matter of fact. Tony’s idea, don’t ask. If you got up here on your own I assume he made the girls downstairs give you an identification implant. That is basically your entrance for everything here. Kind of an Avengers thing.” You nodded and him wiggling his fingers like a spell. Placing your hand on the door like he told you activated F.R.I.D.A.Y.

Recognized: Y/N. Access and ownership granted.

  The metal frame slid open and you found yourself standing before a big room. It was nicely furnished. The desk was big enough for you to work on it and have everything around. Bookshelves empty and ready to be used on your left and a large bed on your right flush against the wall. The window was once more its own wall right in front of you standing behind the desk. The bathroom door was opening a space before the shelf the same color as the paint in the common room.

“I will let you set up. If you need anything F.R.I.D.A.Y. is always here. The room is interactive, you can ask exactly what works under the interface’s control. The door is one.Take your time.”he was on his way out “Would you like some coffee or tea?”

“I would like some tea, thank you very much.” Bruce flashed you a smile “F.R.I.D.A.Y. the door please.”

Door closed 

  Done as said and requested, clicking behind you. 

Would you like an extensive list of my functions as an assistant?

“Please do.”

[cherry-toxic]

Fic writer questions!

I was tagged by @introvertia - thank you so much :) Your answers were really interesting!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Only 8

What's your total AO3 wordcount?

141754

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Four: Beyblade (gen fics mostly), Shizaya (Durarara), Grimmichi (Bleach), and Harringrove (Stranger Things).

I usually sit in a fandom for a quite a while before I actually start writing anything. I'm amazed by those people who can get stuck in right away (how do you do it!?!)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. end the fight; before the fight ends you

2. Bound to Happen

3. Year of You

4. Broken Boys and Butterflies

5. So come take a drink (And drown your sorrows)

All Harringrove aside from 'Bound to Happen' - which I'm rather surprised came in second because the Grimmichi fandom is waaaaay smaller than the Harringrove fandom.

'end the fight...' is also the only wip here. The rest are completed one-shots.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes and no. It depends. I want to respond because comments really do mean a lot to me and I love rambling with people, but I have issues with online communication. Like, sometimes I write out a response and when I read it back to myself my brain just goes 'no that's terrible you sound like an idiot delete it now' and then I go 'yessir you're completely right how silly of me.'

When it comes to wips, I tend to reply to every comment when I'm getting ready to post the next chapter, that way it's like a little heads-up - new stuff incoming soon!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Y'know as much as I love angst I actually prefer to have my fics end on a relatively positive note (angst with a happy ending is my shit).

But I suppose 'So come take a drink (And drown your sorrows)' is overall pretty angsty and I left the ending open so if I ever felt like continuing it I could do so easily.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've ever written?

Big nah. Kind of like AU fics, they just don't interest me that much.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes, but it came from someone who was just making the rounds on a bunch of Harringrove fics and they were highly suspected to be an anti so it didn't really bother me that much because I knew they were trolling.

I've had a few like, vague comments/back-handed compliments that got under my skin a bit though.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, occasionally I do. Generally I'd say I'm pretty vanilla, but I am currently writing an a/b/o fic, though I think it might go under non-traditional a/b/o because, again, vanilla lol

My smut usually comes with a lot of introspection, like they'll be doing the deed and one of them will be internally streaming a 5000+ word monologue (I do this with Grimmjow sometimes because he's a big virgin who views sex as silly human nonsense).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Parts of a fic, yes. I came across this fic that was clearly plagiarizing from several different authors (they forgot to change the characters names and everything) and I found entire paragraphs that were copy/pasted straight from one of my fics.

The thing is, this was over 10 years ago, something I wrote when I was... seventeen, maybe? So... I don't get why they copied it because it was pretty bad to be honest...

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, an old one called '10 Miles in Your Shoes' (beyblade) although it was never completed because well, firstly, I never completed the original, and secondly, when the translator asked me how long I was planning on it being I said around 20-30k and uhhh... lets just say I overshot that by a mile!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. While I think it would be interesting to try I honestly don't know if I could give up control like that!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Hard to say because I tend to go for characters over ships. Like, I got into Grimmichi because of Grimmjow and Harringrove because of Billy.

But since Grimmjow is my all-time favourite character then, I guess Grimmichi, but Harringrove is definitely a close second because the fandom has spoiled me rotten with all their amazing fics (in terms of reading material, Harringrove is my fav).

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

'10 Miles in Your Shoes' - the bodyswap fic.

It's been a long time since I engaged with anything related to beyblade but I have a lot of fondness for this fic because it was the second I ever started writing and it was the fic that allowed me to truly grow as a writer. There's a huge improvement from the first to the most recent chapter (most recent being 5 years ago...) to the point where it looks like it could have been written by two different people, and I received so much positive feedback and encouragement throughout those years. I wish I had it in me to go back and finish it off but I struggle enough while writing for my current obsessions so it's looking more and more unlikely...

At the very least, I think I might transfer it to AO3 since ff.net seems to be slowly going under. Even if I never complete it, I don't want it lost forever.

What are your writing strengths?

This might sound ridiculous but I don't know? I always feel like I'm winging everything!!

I guess. One thing I've been complimented on a lot is my ability to portray messy (for lack of a better word) situations in a realistic way. I've been asked a few times if I've ever studied psychology and -

Nope

Just winging it!

What are your writing weakness?

EDITING!!!

I really should get a beta because I miss so many stupid little mistakes, like - okay - I always used to write in past tense, it was never something I even thought about, past tense was just the default. And then suddenly, around 2017/18, I began transitioning to present tense completely unconsciously and now every time I re-read 'Bound to Happen' I get angry because I bounced between tenses all the way through that fic and I didn't even notice until a year after I posted it.

Also. Incredibly slow. Lack of consistency. Perfectionist until I get stuck and then I feel like you can spot exactly where I lost momentum. Utterly hopeless when it comes to descriptions of setting/scenery. I don't think I'm very good at building atmosphere either. Dialogue, although I am improving at that.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I can't say I really have any thoughts on this? I don't do it much myself.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Beeeeyblaaade! I was fifteen when I wrote my very first fic (now deleted because it was awful!)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh god, this is hard!

If we're talking completed fics only, then probably 'Year of You'. That was my I-Do-Not-Accept-Billy's-Death fic but I WILL take all of the angst material from S3 and ride it hard.

If we're including wips, then both 'end the fight...' and 'metamorphosis' are probably my favourites right now.

'End the fight...' is my BIG Billy redemption fic which I started plotting out not long after S2 and there's so many scenes I'm looking forward to writing (yeah I know its been a while since i last updated but the past year has been rough okay)

'Metamorphosis' is the a/b/o fic which I was kind of nervous about at first because its not a trope that i read a lot of but i'm enjoying how its turning out so far!

Whew! That was a lot!

I'm tagging: firstly, whoever wants to do it because I like reading about peoples writing experiences (make sure to tag me!) And then: @shadowthorne @bentnotbroken1fanfiction @callieb @backwardshirt @memes-saved-me @murderlight @magniloquent-raven @aeon-of-neon @louhetar

[nowthatswhaticalllosing]

Now That’s What I Call Music! 4

Preface: Hi internet! I belong to a fantasy football league with my friends from college, and I lost this season! I received my punishment for placing last of the 12 teams, and I am required to listen to all of the Now That’s What I Call Music! compilations that currently exist (70 as of May 2019), review them (by rating each song on a scale of 1-10/10), and (at the end of this descent into madness) create my definitive power ranking of each album.

–

Album: Now That’s What I Call Music! 4

Release Date: July 18, 2000

Track Listing and Awarded Scores:

Average Score: 7.72/10

The Good: I checked the math three times. I re-listened to Joe and Savage Garden - are those really deserving of scores of 7/10? They really are. This album is really that good, and it’s not fair.

This album is the Harlem Globetrotters pitted against 69 different iterations of the Washington Generals in its competition against the other Now compilations. This album is that kid who hit his growth spurt really fast in elementary school and just posterizes the other kids in the fifth grade on those 7 foot hoops. 

The album’s first 6 songs average to a composite score of 8.5, and it basically holds up from there. You start off with peak BSB, going into peak (pre-2009 still, we’re 10 years away) Britney Spears, then segue into Mandy Moore’s best song with a quick jump to Italy to remember the time Eiffel 65 earned squatters’ rights on the radio with its release of a catchy song that made absolutely no sense. America briefly became a mere extension of Europop. 

I don’t care for listicles. I know I’m shaping up to make a very, very long one over the course of this blog, but it’s certainly against my will. The below link is an exception, and it’s from Buzzfeed. Since this album came out in 2000, a lot of the songs are from 1999, which was a damn formidable year in music that for all intents and purposes has not been matched since. Take a look. It was a time.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/why-1999-was-the-greatest-year-in-music-history

Anyway, the album continues with Sonique, who I honestly write a few paragraphs on alone. She’s a dance club and LGBTQ icon who landed on Now 4 with her most commercially successful hit, in a song/video that has aged so very well.

The album continues on, playing the late Aaliyah’s “Try Again,” and then going into the third perfect 10/10 song I’ve given so far in this endeavor. No introduction necessary.

And the hits keep coming. 

Full disclosure: I bought this album when it came out in July 2000, and then in November 2000 when Now 5 (which oddly sold 2 million more copies than Now 4) came out, I put Now 4 away for about 11 years. It resurfaced on a bus trip from Chicago to South Bend, Indiana, supplemented by a challenge for my friends and me to kill a handle of Jack Daniels before crossing state lines. If some form of a blackout weren’t concurrently existing with said experience, I would say that there was some sort of nostalgia score boost for Now 4 when I rated these songs, but there was and there isn’t, so there. 

Now 4 wraps up with Train, Macy Gray, the second best Hanson song (gun to my head I can only name this and MMMbop - but give it a listen, it’s totally fine!), and Blink 182. Tell me this album isn’t fantastic. I dare you. I double dare you motherfucker. 

And here’s Macy Gray. I wrote far more than I ever want to write about a Now album at this point, and she can sing me out. Fucking legend. 

The Bad: Things can only get worse from here. I used some positive analogies in The Good, but quite frankly, I don’t know if this album is going to be topped by any of the next 66 I have to listen to. I turn 30 in 4 months, and in the distant future when I look back on my life, my child sitting on my knee while I laze in a rocking chair, he’ll/she’ll ask “Jordan, what did you do during the final months of your 20s?” And even though I still won’t be totally unfazed by the fact that my Labrador learned English, I’ll have to tell the poor dog that I reached the musical mountain top of 1999, only to listen to 20 more years of fucking mediocrity. I’m at the zenith of a rollercoaster. If Now were a guy, he would have peaked in preschool. Sure he’ll keep friends through his teens and maybe into his twenties based on nostalgia alone, but he’ll surely die alone LISTENING TO FUCKING POST MALONE (featured as the opening track on Now That’s What I Call Music! Volume 68). This can’t end well, and I’m sad that the best has come and gone so soon. 

Potpourri: The Montell Jordan song isn’t that great so there’s that. 

Takeaways: I play it off but I’m dreaming of you, I’ll keep my cool, but I’m feeling - I try to say goodbye and I choke, try to walk away and I stumble, though I try to hide it, it’s clear, my world crumbles when you are not near. These are original words that I wrote after listening to this album. Don’t ask me where I got them from, I’m inspired. 

Next up is Now 5. The world is a cruel dark place.  

Current Power Rankings:

Now 4 (7.72/10)

Now 2 (6.67/10)

Now 1 (6.65/10)

Now 3 (6.22/10)

[nefertiti22002blog]

Fanfiction writer asks

@criminal-minds-fanfiction​ sent out an epic set of 50 questions under this title. (Thank you!) It took awhile, but these were excellent questions, and I enjoyed answering them. (I just reblogged them without answers, in case any of you want to have a go.)

I don’t expect many will want to read all 50 answers, but people who have recently started following me might be interested in the fics I write in the Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell fandom (and even those I used to write in the Lord of the Rings fandom).

Fanfiction Writer Asks

Most of the writer ask posts I come across are only like ten or so questions long so I thought I’d try to make a longer one because we like talking about our writing! Feel free to reblog!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

52, still going at 68

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

Started out in The Lord of the Rings, writing Gandalf slash. (My fics are available on my old website, “Meddling in the Affairs of Wizards.” Haven’t had time to add them to AO3 yet.) After a seven-year pause, got started again by the Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell tv series, after having been a fan of the book for seven years. (Those fics are all on AO3.)

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I have written OCs, but only if they fit into canon, which I try to stick to as much as possible in most cases. (I had to look up “reader inserts.” Never done one.)

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

Given my two fandoms, it must be fantasy.

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

I suppose it would be “From the Ashes a Fire,” a Gandalf/Aragorn romance. I tried to pair Gandalf with as many different guys from the novel as possible, but Aragorn always seemed to most logical lover for the wizard. I think most of my fics up to that point had been practice for that one.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

“Service at the Prancing Pony,” which pairs Gandalf and Bob. (Yes, there is a Bob in LOTR.) It was only my second fic, and it’s pretty trivial.

7) When is your preferred time to write?

Evening.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

The challenge of figuring out a fic with explicit content (usually) and keep it true to the original source novel.

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

“Thrice Returned” is a multi-chapter novel pairing Gandalf and Frodo. My favorite scene is when Frodo wakes up in Ithilien after the Ring is destroyed and discovers that Gandalf is alive. I always felt that Tolkien should have shown that scene, but he skips over it. Of course, my version is more romantic, which is partly why I like it.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?

I don’t recall ever having an alternative ending for a fic in mind. My funniest ending, I think, is in “Mr Norrell’s Breeches.” I had no idea how I was going to end it, and inspiration struck just as I got to the ending. (Usually I know how the story will end, sometimes down to the last exchange of dialogue.)

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Yes. In Chapter 8 of “Two Masters in the Darkness” Norrell and Strange summon the new King of Lost-hope (to call it by its old name). I referred to the King as King Stephen, but as one reader pointed out, he wasn’t using that name after the death of the gentleman with the thistle-down hair. I amended the story to be more consistent with that premise.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

It was Gandalf for six years, until I ran out of inspiration. (I just COULD NOT find a way to pair him with Sam.) Since I started writing JS&MN, it has been Mr Norrell. Although I write book-canon, I imagine my Mr Norrell as he is played by Eddie Marsan, who brings such warmth and empathy (and cuteness!) to the role, despite the fact that the screenwriter made him such an inconsistent character. (If he can do the fantastic York Minster magic, why can he not do sea beacons? And so on and on.)

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

Generally I don’t write for characters I don’t enjoy. Lady Pole was the hardest; I only did her once.

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.

Often I do variations on quotations from the book. My favorite title of my own is “One Spell not to discover what My Friend Is doing Presently,” where Mr Strange speaks harshly to Mr Norrell, who casts a spell to make them invisible to each other. I loved writing the farce that resulted.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

I generally do a search for Regency-era names, as with the Misses Whitworth and Bastable in “Mr Norrell, ladies’ man.”

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?

Often I rely on prompts, but I came up with the idea for “Stark Staring” on my own. It started with a simple premise, that Mr Norrell would get a little tipsy and cast a spell that would allow him (but no one else) to see Mr Strange unclothed. I thought it a pretty feeble idea, but it worked out very well.

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

From a fic with the premise that Mr Norrell is (of course) secretly in love with Mr Strange and highly distracted by his pupil’s habit of pursing his lips when he is concentrating on his work. He inadvertently lets slip some indications of his desire when the two are close together looking for a book in the library: “Mr Strange had not failed to notice the man’s gaze directed at his mouth and the faint whimper and the subsequent slight confusion and the heavy breathing and the mere pretense of examining the books when instead Mr Norrell was staring into space and blushing furiously.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Nothing that I carried on beyond a few paragraphs. Just couldn’t find the inspiration to go on.

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I would love to continue my “Jonathan Strange ♥ Mr Norrell” series by taking the two magicians on one of the adventures that are only hinted at at the very end of the novel. I’ve gone so far as to set them up as planning to go to Egypt, but I have not had the time to do the necessary research to figure out a plausible evil spell for them to save someone from. Maybe someday, but I doubt it.

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

No.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

I am very fond of the JS&MN fics by Predatrix. She also writes Norrell, pairing him with Childermass most often but also with Strange. She sticks less to book-canon than I do, but she has a great imagination when it comes to thinking up magic for the characters to do. I have not got that talent and usually derive the magic, when necessary, from Clarke’s book.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Not really.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Either way. As long as I’m not listening to vocal music with English lyrics, I don’t get distracted.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Love ‘em, though I have written so many by now, and for the same characters, that I kind of dread them.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Yes. At the parting (inevitable) of Gandalf and Aragorn at the end of “From the Ashes a Fire” and at the letter Childermass writes to Norrell in Chapter 9, the end of “Two Masters in the Darkness,” after he has been separated from Norrel by the Darkness. Even though my main pairing if Norrell/Strange, I loved writing the relationship between Childermass and Norrell in “Master and Man” and its consequences in “Two Master in the Darkness.”

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?

I did an AU version of “Thrice Returned” (the Gandalf/Frodo epic) where instead of being killed by the Balrog, Gandalf survived and went with Frodo and Sam (and Gollum) to Mordor. Figuring out what effects that would have on the rest of the book’s plot was a killer, but I struggled through it and came up with something that someone manages to be sort of book-canon and yet AU at the same time.

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

Sometimes I do an outline for the multi-chapter fics. Not for the one-offs. In doing “Jonathan Strange ♥ Mr Norrell,” I had to do an elaborate chart with a chronology of all the things that happened to the two in the Darkness, since I wanted it to be absolute book-canon despite involving events in the final chapter that Clarke barely hints at. The chronology (when was Norrell born? 1765 in my head-canon) is the hardest part, since Clarke is so clear about hers.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

More of the conventions. I just saw a prompt on Library of Moria requesting a Gandalf/Pippin fic, as if it would be something hard! I saw how to do it right away and just launched in.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I think “The Toasts of Venice,” a sequel to “Jonathan Strange ♥ Mr Norrell” that takes the two magicians to Venice immediately after the last scene in the book, is pretty darn good, but for some reason it got far fewer hits (averaging by chapter) than the original. It has an amusing scene of Strange trying to get Norrell to be a bit less shy about going out of Hurtfew by taking him to a sweets shop.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

I’m rather surprised that “A Book with a Strange Spell upon It” gets more hits than most of my other one-offs, some of which I think are better. But it’s a good story, so the disparity if not odd enough to make me roll my eyes, even a little.

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)

Having plugged Predatrix’s work already, I’ll say “The Perils of Being a Virgin in Faerie (Together with a Solution Thereto)” by Nothingshire. An excellent premise—that Mr Norrell’s virginity makes him an attractive kidnapping target for Fairies—with delightful humor and genuine affection between the two magicians.

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Not apart from the ones in JS&MN that Clarke based on real people.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

So hard to pick, but I really appreciated one I got for my series “Jonathan Stolen & Mr Norrell.” The premise is that after a few years in the Darkness, Jonathan attracts the attention of a beautiful lady fairy who kidnaps him, and Mr Norrell has to get up the courage to rescue him. I was a bit trepidatious about writing a Fairy character, especially given my lack of imagination when it comes to writing magic. But I gave it a try, and one reader made me confident that I had succeeded: “I love Lady Turn-of-Tide! You've pinned down the character of Clarke's fairies exactly: capricious, self-centred, vain, generous and cruel all at once, and utterly incapable of seeing humans as anything but cute playthings. As Strange says, she's a good sort (for a fairy), but I know I wouldn't want to meet her! She was a lot of fun to read about, though.” Yay!

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

There was a troll on tumblr who was lambasting those of us who write really explicit stuff about JS&MN characters. She or he was denouncing a group of us (specifically by our pseudonyms) for ruining Mr Norrell and the others. As if anyone was forcing her/him to read the stuff! Fortunately the fandom sprang to our defense, and I actually got more hits than usual on my latest Norrell fic, “Stark Staring.”

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I’ve run some stories past Predatrix and even collaborated with her, and I’ve done that with past betas.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

I only have one, which I quoted above. It is based on a prompt that requests that Norrell be the top in the sex scene, for a change. That goes against my head-canon, but I shall do my best.

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

Hard to choose, but I guess I would say “The Epic Battle over Mr Norrell,” where Childermass and Lascelles both want Norrell sexually, for different reasons, and they decide to have a contest demonstrating their various skills for a delighted but increasingly frustrated Mr Norrell (since of course they have to start over at each stage of the contest without him coming). Guess who wins!

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

I’ve collaborated with Predatrix, but the sort of stuff we write requires very similar tastes, and I doubt I would find anyone else.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

Definitely third, though I have done some first person in letters within the fics.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

Only people online.

41) What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?

I don’t know whether he counts as minor, but I have built up Mr Norrell’s servant Lucas into a fairly major figure in my “Jonathan Strange ♥ Mr Norrell” fics. He agrees to return to Hurtfew, even in the Darkness (as do some other servants), and he works his way up to essentially replacing Childermass as Norrell and Strange’s Man of Business. I quite like him as a character.

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.

I’ve never done one.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

Not that I know of.

44) What is the last line you wrote?

I added this to the WIP quoted above, in 17: “The exchange of Jeremy’s Tott’s little monograph, ENGLISH MAGIC, for its mirror had been a thrilling revelation that there was a second genuine practical magician in England.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Like Tolkien, I write what I would like to read. I am a professional writer and love dealing with the English language. It’s fun, and I love reading the results.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?

See number 19.

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?

I fear I cannot come up with a title before starting to write the fic.

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?

Basically my Norrell/Strange fics are based around the idea that Norrell, who in the book is so boring and dry and selfish, becomes a different person when he’s with Strange. More lively, talkative, and even passionate. That makes writing about these two when they’re finally reunited in the Darkness is such fun. Norrell is transformed into a fascinating character.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

It was called “No Windows,” and it was a LOTR AU in which Gandalf seizes the Ring because he loves Frodo and wants to spare him the agony of carrying the Ring—and naturally he’s corrupted by it. It was a terrific story, but unfortunately the author apparently withdrew from the fandom and deleted the fic. I was lucky to have started with such an excellent fic, since it made me go on and read more and then start writing.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I would say smut, since virtually all of what I’ve written has included very explicit scenes. But I’ve also enjoyed working out the other scenes and making them book-canon. I think I would choose fluff if I could only do one, since I enjoy writing comedy and farce.

[transguyshub]

Trans Tip Wednesday #1, Names

Welcome to our first TTW! In this edition, we'll be going over names, how to choose one, and how to settle into it.

Choosing a new name can be really tough. To some, it comes pretty easily. But for many, it's an agonizing process that has you second guessing yourself at every turn. I personally went through a few names before deciding I wanted the name Tobias if my parents won't help me choose one. From Katelyn, I went to "Kay" then "Kane" (in my non-binary days) because I didn't quite feel the gaping disconnect from my life like I do now. I was on the first of many stepping stones.

Be careful about changing your name too many times. People seem to have a "grace period" where you can waffle a bit, before they stomp down the foot and say enough is enough. People don't want to change what they call you every two weeks, and try to respect that. It's perfectly okay to try a few names before you find "The One", but consider doing this around a couple dedicated friends or family members so you don't confuse the public. 

The first thing to do is create a pool of canidates. Look up names. Look at baby name websites, look at Tumblr profiles, look at real life people, whatever. Trust me. You will find names you like. After you feel fufilled, go over your list. Maybe you have six or seven different names you like, and you don't know how to narrow it down. While I don't suggest this to everyone, here is a process I used to pick Tobias. For that reason, we will use this name as an example.

1) Take the names and write them down on a piece of paper. Read them aloud and and write a paragraph referring to yourself as the names.

2) Look up the meanings of the names and the origins of where they came from. Its fun to have a name that matches your heritage, but of course that's not required. Also, DO NOT use names specific to cultures you are not a part of. For example, I shouldn't name myself "Swift Foot" or "Akasuki". This IS cultural appropriation. 

3) Look at people with that name. What kind of people are they? Do you like the vibe the name gives off? You always hear "you seem like a ___ kind of guy" because people stereotype names. Does it match who you are or who you want to be? 

4) Check the popularity of the name. While I know it doesn't matter to everyone, I personally like names in the middle range. Not too popular, not to rare. It helps you blend in, if that's what your going for. 

5) Make sure your name is memorable and easy to write and pronounce. 

6) Make sure it will fit you now, AND in twenty years from now (if your younger). Personally, I would rather keep one name my whole life. What might seem cool and fitting as a 14 year old, let's just say Frodo, might not seem so hot as a 30 year old when your trying to find a job and work with a professional company. It may work for some, but certainly not all. 

7) Ask friends and family who know you well. They can be great guides. Have them vote, discuss, etc. 

8) Time to pick your favorites to try! Separate which met your criteria best, and try each out for a month or two if you didn't find one that struck you as "The One" during the process. 

Again, don't feel like you need to follow this guideline. I just found it worked for people like me who want a fairly average name.

Another option is letting your parents pick or help you pick. For many adults, the transitioning process is painful, and they don't want to feel like they lost their kid. If you have parents who you think will cooperate, you may want to sit down with them and talk about names. This will help them feel connected to you/r new name, and help them cope. It can also add a lot of meaning and value to your new name.

And the last (and least discussed) option is... Keeping your old name. That's your choice! Even if you don't have a gender neutral name, you may just feel connected to your old name and not wish to change it.

Leaving your old name behind is kind of like cutting off a part of your old self. It can be a painful experience for you AND those around you. Give yourself time to get used to the name yourself before trying to strictly police what other people call you. If your heart isn't in it yet, you'll frustrate yourself further. The brain may not be willing to let go for a long time. 

Consider a several-part process to introducing your new name. Start with a few friends you trust. Ask them to talk about you to one another, using the new name, in front of you so you can get used to what it sounds like, and they can learn the vocal memory. Make sure they are on the same page. Both names and pronouns can be difficult to learn in a toxic environment. If your friends/family are trying to use your new name, but one person continues to deadname, their brains will lock that into it's memory and it will not learn to use your name. It's the same as if you met a person after their sibling, and their sibling calls them a nickname. Your brain will snatch that information up and use it. It will connect that person with the name those you know use, and will struggle to learn the correct name. And on top of that, these people have probably already been using your deadname for years. But if others who are close to you use your correct name, people will be inclined to follow by example and will learn the habit quicker.

If people persist to deadname without much improvement over time, assess the situation. 

They are either doing it accidently or on purpose. Your reactions should be different depending on the case. For example, you wouldn't treat your sibling who's trying hard to learn the same as you would treat a parent who is stubbornly refusing to accept your name. 

First, figure out which is the issue. 

If the person is really trying, be patient and do not get angry. Anger will just blow the situation up, and make the person feel defensive and closed off about it. Instead, try to help them in new way. Expose them to other excepting friends and reinforce habits. Correct them politely, and move on. Don't let them beat themselves up about it. It's tough to learn new habits. Take them with you to therapy or do writing exercises. No matter what, unless there is a mental issue involved, your friends and family will learn eventually. 

If the person is doing it out of stubbornness or spite, you will have to go about it very carefully. While there is no way to force someone to use the correct name/pronouns, you can try to manipulate their feelings and try to help them see your point of few. Explain that you understand it's hard. Tell them how much it upsets you, and how they are ruining your relationship. If they lash back, you have to decide whether to let it go or take a step back and make them regret hurting you. 

Again, be patient during your transition. You will struggle, your family will struggle, and you will sometimes feel really crappy. 

BUT, DON'T GIVE UP HOPE! It takes so long to respond to the changes, but it will get better. There is always a uphill struggle for you to reach the mountain top. But once your there, the view is beautiful. 

Thanks for reading guys! I hope this could be helpful to someone out there. 

Stay fresh, my dudes! ✌️

[thatlongspringnight]

I Made a Mistake (Ch. 5)

ITS BACK Y’ALL.  Ieyasu/MC. College AU.

Okay, so I have a plot for this, I promise. I just needed some filler to get back in the game with my fave tsundere cupcake lord.

Hope yall enjoy.

fic under the cut!

“It’s not fair.” Inuchiyo frowned, tapping his pencil against the desk in the library.

“What’s not fair?” MC sat across from him, not bothering to look up from her book. She highlighted a paragraph, waiting for him to continue “Inuchiyo?”

“It’s not fair that you are suddenly the top of the class and won’t tell me why.”

“Aw, is the puppy having trouble coping with his studies?” MC smirked, tossing her head as she returned to her homework. “I said I’d be your study buddy, but you picked the fight club”  

“Oh come on.”

“Look, puppy, I’m just trying to graduate, just like you.”

“You’ve developed an attitude problem.”

“No, I’m just sick of you going over this with me, I said I’d teach you the stuff, you still haven’t taken me up on it.”

“No way, not after all the hell you gave me about the club”

“Your loss”

“Yeah well, I’d rather be in debt to the them than to Tokugawa.”

“Hedge your bets however you like” MC shook her head, eyes never looking away from the page. “Or find a new tutor.”

“You’re top of the class.”

“Okay try our TA, then. She’s a grade above us. You know her, don’t you?” MC looked up, giving Inuchiyo a look. He looked away, pink gracing his cheeks. “Or is that not an option”

“U-ugh I guess. I just didn’t want to.”

“Didn’t wanna make her think less of you?” MC teased lightly, leaning across the table to pinch his cheek. “So cute.”

“The hell?” He yanked himself away. “Don’t start with me.”

“So, you should ask her, right?”

“I might have to.” He groaned. “She really does know what she is talking about.”

“But not as much as my tutor” The girl boasted easily. If it was one thing she had come to understand over the last month or so it was that her eccentric and rather rude roommate was a science genius...and a good kisser…

A blush dusted MC’s cheeks as she shook the thoughts from her head. They were not relevant, nope, not in the least.

“What is that dumb expression on your face for?” Mitsunari’s cold voice shook whatever was left of her daydreaming away. When had he showed up? MC looked away, focusing on the bookshelves.

“Mmmm nothing, studying for my abnormal psych midterm.”

“I wouldn’t classify that as nothing.”

“You’re right” MC sighed, biting the cap of her highlighter. “It’s really hard and I kind of hate it.”

Mitsunari leaned into the seat next to her, looking over shoulder at the book.

“Hm,” He paused, gesturing at a certain paragraph “Read that one again, it’ll help, and hand me your notes.”

“Yessir!”

 Toramatsu watched the girl with no small measure of anxiety, fiddling with the bottom of his t-shirt. She stepped over to him, staring at him, almost touching him. He looked down at her, noting the serious expression on her face.

He tried to keep eye contact, but looked away.

“H-Hey, MC”  

“Toramatsu.”

“So…uh…how’s it going?”

“It goes” She shrugged, and for a moment he calmed. She seemed fine, she seemed okay, right?

“Look, MC, I’m sorry about all this. Really I am, I know how hard this must be for you-“

“Toramatsu-“

“Seriously MC, if he is unbearable, you can just do what I did, find someone else. I know it is like living with a mob boss, but really-“

“Tora-“ She tried to save him, really MC did.

“Well, what do we have here?” a presence behind him, a terrible familiar presence.

“Tokugawa.” Toramatsu turned on his heels, doing his best to keep MC behind him. The blonde glanced at him with smile, that sickening smile that made Toramatsu grimace. Why had fate brought him to this so early in the morning/

“You know, Toramatsu, I seem to remember telling you multiple times that I don’t appreciate it when other people play with my things.” The smile fell from Ieyasu’s face, revealing something a little more dangerous. He strode right by him, taking a spot by MC. “You lost that privilege when you left our arrangement.” Ieyasu trailed a hand across MC’s cheek, and the intimate gesture had both her and Toramatsu blushing. “I’m sure I don’t have to explain it to you again, do I?”

“N-No.” Toramatsu found himself looking away for the second time. “No you don’t.” What had gotten into Tokugawa? He had never seen him quite so off-put or overt. Better yet, what had MC gotten herself into?

“What was that about Ieyasu?” MC’s blush had only heightened as she took him in, noting the anger rising high on his cheeks, a frown on his features.

He looked upset.

Oh dear.

He had all but dragged her into one of the library study rooms, ignoring the pointed look Mitsunari had shot the both of them.

Now there was a gulf of silence between them.

MC opened her mouth again to speak, but he beat her to the punch.

“I didn’t realize you were so close to that imbecile”

“I’m going to need you to explain yourself a little further, Tokugawa.” MC took a defensive stance, crossing her arms and taking a step back from him.

“I wouldn’t have pegged your type as being simpering and forward with random men. Although what should I expect, considering how quickly you agreed to our…our arrangement.” His voice was a hiss, painful in her ears.

Wait a moment, just a moment, MC sized him up quickly before continuing. She had a suspicion she knew exactly what this was about.

“Ieyasu, what are you talking about?” He seemed anxious, text book, and was doing his best to cover it with anger. His eyes darted away from her face, and he kept clenching and unclenching his fists. MC saw through it easily, although his stinging barb of a tongue managed to hurt anyway. “Is this about Toramatsu?”

The red on his face seemed to dip a shade darker. She was right on the mark. “I’m...I’m not into Toramatsu.” She stepped closer to him, backing him into a corner. What could have given him that idea?

“Hard to believe, considering how you were practically on top of him” Tokugawa spat the words out and the situation finally fell into place.

Oh.

He was very jealous.

“Well, I’ll have you know, it’s not in my nature. Toramatsu was going to continue to apologize to me about making me live with you. Well, at least until you interrupted him.”

“Hmph.”

“I can prove it to you.” MC pressed further, hand reaching out to stroke his cheek, coaxing his eyes back to hers.

“And how would a senseless wench like you ever-“

She cut him off, lips pressing against his quickly, silencing his words.

MC kissed him with a startling want. She’d been trying to prove a point but honestly, she just missed the way his hands tugged at her hair, the freedom of a no strings attached affair.

Well, maybe the no feelings thing kind of sucked, But still.

She kissed him till her lips felt bruised, aching from his teeth and her lungs hurt for air. When she pulled away it was clear his face was read for a different reason.

“I wouldn’t kiss Toramatsu like that”

His lips were on hers again. Arms coming under her ass to hoist her up. She gasped and his tongue snaked into her mouth.

He set her down on the table, and she buried her fingers into his hair, tugging at his locks. He broke the kiss, a sound leaving his mouth that she wanted to hear again.

And everything was great

Until Mitsunari walked by, all but slamming the door open in righteous fury.

“This is a library! A sacred space. You bastard bred whoreson, take your business elsewhere!” He rounded on Ieyasu who had managed to separate himself from her, and was smoothing out his hair and frowning.

Cute.

Somehow Mitsunari’s anger was more directed at Ieyasu than MC, which she didn’t mind at all, hiding behind Ieyasu as the argument escalated.

Shit, where they about to fight?

MC quickly grabbed Ieyasu by the arm, dragging him from the building, yelling her apologies to the library staff.

Once a safe distance from the building he tugged his arm away from her, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

She shook her head, laughing softly.

He was still blushing.

This was still less embarrassing than Inuchiyo listening to porn in the library, right?

Right?

MC really hoped so.

Tagging:   @frywen-babbles@singokumaiden @cottonballwithmustache @held-hostage-and-happy @sengoku-drifter @pasunny @mitsukaiyuki @faismusings  @doodlebug5386 @ceka122 @slbp-owns-ayame

And a MASSIVE THANK YOU To all the anons and people who encouraged me till I was ready to get back to this fic, my original college au baby. 

[brytedarklyt]

Y’know what? Fuck that noise.

I messed up, yes. I made a mistake and I admit it. But i’m nowhere near the villain you are making me out to be.

A lot of you are thinking i’m crazy for my posts today, so I’m going to explain better for the people at home listening, and to rant because I know you’ll see this. More below the cut. 

My first month on Balmung I struggled to fit in. I went to events, but didn’t really roleplay anything I wanted because I couldn’t find it. One of my first good friends on balmung was in a group at the time, and invited me to take part. So i accepted, hoping it would help me get better at roleplaying and get more involvement for myself and my characters. 

Boy what a wonderful place it was. Full of like minded roleplayers with a want for adventure, drama, fighting. I slowly creeped out of the shell I used to be with them and started working on my own things, and a lot of the time; People actually hopped onto the idea of new plots. I loved every minute and grew to adore the people in the group, they were basically my best friends. 

Over the summer i’ve been through a lot emotionally. From being homeless, to unemployed and almost homeless again i’ve been more stressed and anxious in the past 6 months than I have the last few years. Hoping to alleviate some of this stress, I used roleplaying as a way to distract myself; And it worked - For a while. Slowly, this wonderful group of players stopped playing. It went from a healthy group of people to about 4-5 of us. To make up for it, we made alts and other characters to make it seem bigger. For a few months, the last of us made it on fine, until the leader quit.

I don’t particularly blame him for quitting; At all. He had personal stuff to deal with, health issues - Relationship issues. I get it. But what this did was put it in the hands of someone who *had to have things a certain way*. Eventually he decided to come back, but because he had ‘killed off’ his main character he had to find a way to get him back, so a plot was created. “Oh! A wonderful new plot!” You might think to yourself, and I did for a bit too. Until I saw what this plot had begun. 

It was a plot designed to bring together the people of this group in ways they hadn’t before; New pairs, new characters, new tactics. But instead; All this plot did was bring on the beginning of the end. When it ends, I hope they look back and realize I was right when I said that the group is over when this plot ends. I have been told by multiple remaining members that once it was over, they were done with the group. 

Right from the get go, the replacement leaders characters were all thrown into disarray; Putting her in the spotlight. I was invited originally, but the catch was my character had to be maimed or captured without any say or luck on my part; Which I wasn’t okay with so I turned it down. I’ll admit, i like attention. Being in the spotlight is nice yes. But I’m much to anxious for that, i want SOME attention not all of it. But because of my refusal, I was discluded for two months. The old discord we used to keep up with each others lives and have ooc chat was near silent the entire time. Come to find out, the entire 2 months there was a second discord I wasn’t invited to. How do you think that made me feel, finally getting in on a piggy back on someones invite to find the group I had once cherished and adored, felt the need to completely cut me out? They say that isn’t what happen, but I heard no word whatsoever about this other discord until I found it myself. SO i don’t believe it.

One of the spotlight characters was really close to mine, and a good friend of mine. My last personal rant I touched on this, but long story short he didnt like what was happening all of a sudden without his say, and that he had to interact with someone ICly that his character wouldn’t. All in all, this created a shitstorm that ended the involvement of one of my favorite people and his companion. -2 members to this group. Heres where the current situation comes to light.

I’ll admit before going into it I was wrong. What I did in a situation that upset me wasn’t the best or even, a fair option. They are right for being upset with me for what I did. But what they’ve done in response isn’t the type of response I should be getting; Especially since i’ve been with them 10+ months, through so much all to have it stripped from me suddenly with no hope of it continuing off of this one incident. 

As told in my last rant, this friend of mine that quit due to this plot barely talks to me. His 3 characters, were in limbo. I was upset at losing a friend because of something I couldn’t help, but on top of that my character had lost someone very important to her current life. He did reply sometimes, but not often. 1 reply a few days, maybe. So, I asked him to at least give me something to ICly work off of for my character. A reason these characters weren’t around. I also asked if it was okay to borrow his weapon to help fix a flaw my own had, but he didn’t answer that instead talked about something else. Refusing to give me something to work with, I figured that meant he was done for good. Especially after telling me of his plans to potentially leave Balmung because of all of this. So to further story this is where I made my mistake.

I created a scenario for him and my own character (who was his sister) That they found info regarding their lost tribe, and had went to look for more. This left open both possibilities of whether he would come back or not. If he did, he could have chosen to have found something or not. If he didn't come back, we could say that he found his family and stayed there; With that always “could come back if he ever decided to” Option. I know this was wrong, and i wasn’t thinking when I did it but I also borrowed his weapon to help further Brytes illness progress. I had zero intention of it being permanent, but I needed it long enough to put in motion another set of events that could have happened even paragraphs after what did. I had no intention of keeping it and had the mind to return it once done. 

So yes, I admit in a moment of weakness I made a mistake. But do I deserve the lies about me? The made up scenarios about me or the thought that I was so caught up in my own spotlight I would ruin others RP moments or “blatantly steal” ideas from others. I admit complaining way more than I probably should have about not being involved; But by no means was I trying to be the face or front of this plot. I just wanted ANY involvement. Now 4-5 people have me blocked including my lost friend, which tells me something has been said about me much worse than what happened. I’m out a main timeline of Bryte because I’m not welcome in the group anymore and can’t RP with anyone in that group anymore and have it tied to their group.

Anyway, thats my rant. I’ll probably delete this later but hey, I could have been way meaner than I have been.

[lifepros]

#692

If you lose a precious ring, coin, or anything made of metal, contact a retiree whose hobby primarily consists of metal detection.

This is a long post, but deserving so. I shouldn't discount this whole ordeal with a simple, short paragraph but if you don't have time to spare, simply scroll to the bottom and read the last paragraph. Otherwise, grab some popcorn and continue along!

My lady and I were fresh, young graduates out of college and obtained a pair of matching, platinum rings around the year 2004 in San Diego, originally intending for the rings to be promise rings. She made a promise of eternal love or inseparable souls or something. I made a more tangible promise, to make her mashed potatoes. We had our initials engraved within the interior face of the rings, alongside a phrase known only between the two of us. It was one of the momentous times of our maturing relationship. At least for me, my ring held a lot of sentimental value. Although the ring did not grant me any special powers, I was practically Gollum from Lord of the Rings, completely possessed by this ring. It possessed considerable weight at approximately nine gummy bears or four pennies. Its weight made it obvious whenever my ring was not present on my hand.

Two years later during the summer of 2006, my lady, my two dachshunds, and I embarked on a 2,700 miles drive away to Ithaca, NY, where I began graduate schooling at Cornell University. There was a large, departmental gathering at the Cornell Recreation Connection (CRC) Park, spanning a vast area of 144 acres, or about 63,000 square feet, which was damp from recent thunderstorms (do a Google Maps search for "Cornell Recreation Connection Park". That is about 10% bigger than a football field, with both end zones included. The hundreds of professors, post-docs, students, and family members and dogs all ran around, played catch, Frisbee, volleyball, soccer, and other debaucheries.

I played some Frisbee, played fetch with my dogs, threw some footballs around, and above all, was pressured to partake in a roughly 20 versus 20 tug-o-war battle. I last played tug-o-war in kindergarten, perhaps even earlier. This time around, it was full of drunken adults, using an inch diameter braided rope, and a lot of mud. At first, I did not join in, but my incoming frosh class of dozen students yelped for me to join as they were getting slowly beaten by the sophomore class of a dozen students. I joined in at the last minute but our futile writhing could not prevent us from being dragged across the sodden turf and losing.

Almost immediately after the tug-o-war game, I realized that my ring was missing. At first, I immediately thought that I might have left it at home, maybe after taking it off for doing some kind of strenuous work that could seriously chip or scratch the ring. However, I doubted that because I knew that I never do any strenuous work and additionally, I never take my ring off for any reason. My lady was incredulous that I likely lost my ring. She was probably upset about the foreboding, superstitious ramifications of a lost promise ring. Maybe it was an omen that our relationship would not work out in the long-term. She was extra upset regarding the circumstances that I may have lost my ring playing (and losing) a match of tug-o-war. If I lost the ring along with my hand by deflecting a small meteoroid heading towards my lady and my two dogs, she might have been okay with that.

I started looking for the ring, scouring the grassy fields and particularly focusing around the area of the tug-o-war match where I assumed my death grips against the braided rope aided in the deft slippage of the ring off of my finger. My colleagues and classmates also jumped in to help as well. We could not find the ring that day, but I came back the next day, next weekend, and several weekends after that. Every trip was fruitless, even after coming back with the most expensive metal detector I could rent. I began to question whether someone else found and pocketed the ring already. Alternatively, maybe I lost it elsewhere in the city of Ithaca, say, perhaps opening the door of my car in some gravel parking lot or maybe it was lost at home. I searched all areas in questions but still to no avail. After a few months, I simply gave up and considered the ring permanently gone. I was incredibly sad. I went from looking like Gollum to looking like Yoda. Distraught, I was.

Every once in a while I would do some Google searches for the ring, using keywords such as our initials. I contacted the Cornell police station lost and found department sporadically, as well. Fast-forward ten years later with three kids, one less dog (RIP, Dookie) to the summer of 2016, long after I moved back to California. I only ever mentioned my lost ring to a handful of friends and colleagues, particularly only when the conversation broached the topics of rings or long-lost items of sentimental value. During one such conversation, my coworker, Jerald (aka Jer Bear) informed me of something he remembered reading on Reddit (LifeProTips, ironically), about a network called The Ring Finders (theringfinders.com), comprised of retirees devoted to the hobby of metal detecting. Initially, I only casually considered this option as I thought that few would take interest in pursuing a search for my ring, given the length of time it was lost. I later took renewed interest in the network after additional goading from my coworker. At first, the closest Ring Finder member was an hour drive away from the likely location of the lost ring and so my hopes further dimmed. However, this particular member, H. Connell Raate, was a retiree with no timely obligations and he gladly accepted my request to look for the ring. Another reason I thought the whole endeavor could be fruitless was that the CRC Park is technically private property but amazingly, the events coordinator of Cornell University, Cheryl McGraw, gladly permitted Connell to search the premises for the ring and sent him the keys to the gates of the park.

In his first attempt in finding the ring, he searched roughly half of the questionable area, only to yield numerous bottle caps, snap can tops, and pieces of aluminum foil. He told me he ran out of battery juice – and not his metal detectors’ batteries. It was not easy to look for the ring under the relentless heat and humidity of a summer sun. He gave it another attempt a week later, this time covering a more extensive area. He showed me pictures of his metal scrap bounty and also how he thoroughly combed the entire field, pocked with little poles to mark his multiple search grids. This second attempt yielded a successful find of a ring; however, it was miraculously someone else’s long-lost, wire ring. Connell wrote off my ring for good and I was at least relieved for receiving some bit of closure on the ring, and that if an expert metal detector aficionado could not find the ring, that ring was certainly not confined within that area. He said I either did not lose the ring in the area or that somebody else found the ring and pawned it. I wrote him a sweet thank you card and a check to compensate him for both his gas and time.

Fall came, and then winter passed. Out of the blue, Connell sent me an email telling me that he has been continuously irked that he could not find my ring. He wanted to give it a third and final try, this time with multiple tweaks to his metal detectors to target rare metals like platinum. He also held optimism that the compacted, wet soil from the thawed snow may facilitate metal detection. I originally did not want to waste any more of his time but I eventually realized that metal detecting is a serious hobby of his and he told me that my lost ring became his personal mission. I acquiesced, and he told he would immediately resume his search once the snow melts. Given the notorious winter snow of Ithaca, this could mean as late as May!

Then, on April 3rd, I received an email from Connell with the subject titled, “I found the ring !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I picked up my jaw from the floor, opened the email, and then just threw both arms into the air like an NFL field judge referee after a field goal. I was at work at the time, surrounded by a dozen others, but I did not care. Then I got up and ran out of the office building and made a phone call to my lady. She was in disbelief. Connell shipped the ring to me immediately, and I have resumed being possessed by the ring like Gollum. I have also resumed making my lady mashed potatoes - all kinds of varietals like with chives, bacon, cheese, russet or Idaho or Yukon potatoes, red potatoes, skins on or off, truffle salt, pepper, with buttermilk, or milk, or heavy cream, you name it. A promise is a promise.

This ordeal has been completely NUTS! In summary: 1) Lost ring in huge field and gave up entirely. 2) 11 years passed by. 3) Contacted retiree to help look for ring, who lives an hour away, and he agreed. 4) He failed twice, certain it was not lost there or someone else picked it up. 5) Half a year later, he wanted to give it one last try, thinking the wet dirt from the snow melt will help in metal detection. 6) He found the ring, and it looked the same as 11 years before! 7) My faith in good humanity became stronger, the opposite of the feeling you get when going to a California DMV office.

Thank you, Connell, Kevin

EDIT: the first LPT post that my coworker first found out about the network: https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/52kwnd/lpt_if_you_lose_your_ring_in_the_ocean_or/

[ciathyzareposts]

Game 331: Beneath the Pyramids (1980)

As we’ll see, the game would have been more properly called In the Sphinx.

             Beneath the Pyramids

United States

Crystalware (developer and publisher)

Released in 1980 for Apple II, 1981 for Atari 800

Date Started: 10 June 2019

Date Finished: 10 June 2019

Total Hours: 3 Difficulty: Easy (2/5) Final Rating: (to come later) Ranking at time of posting: (to come later)

          As I continue to work my way through the Crystalware catalog (we started with House of Usher), it’s appearing that many of the titles issued by this prolific developer use the same base programming, which in turn looks a lot like a low-rent version of Dunjonquest. (Ironically, Epyx, the makers of Dunjonquest, would eventually republish a lot of Crystalware titles.) Even if I’m wrong about that influence the games are certainly self-referential. Beneath the Pyramids feels a lot like House of Usher with a few added features. 

            In the pyramid. A treasure awaits in the Hall of Gods and a mummy awaits in the corridors.

             The setup here is that it’s 1932, and you’re an agent of the British Museum, sent to Giza to search for a priceless artifact: a solid gold statue of the ancient cat goddess, Bast. The first paragraph of the backstory says that you’re looking for it within the Great Pyramid but the second says that you’re searching within the Sphinx. The distinction becomes important later.

            The brief backstory.

        At the beginning of the game, you have the option to purchase a number of items at “the bazaar,” where for some reason you’re spending gold pieces. Limited by wealth and weight, you can’t quite buy everything. Through trial and error, I determined that you want, at minimum, a rifle with about 20 bullets, a crowbar, a duffel bag (which increases carrying capacity), a grapple, a lantern, a gas mask, and at least one pick-axe.

             A shop, an inventory, and more complex commands distinguish this game from House of Usher.

          From here, you “enter the Sphinx.” The first level is indeed shaped somewhat like the Sphinx, with long corridors on the right and left sides jutting south, corresponding with the statue’s legs. Nonetheless, as you ascend in the structure, the levels become smaller and square, as if you were going up a pyramid. The first level is about four screens wide and maybe five tall. As you move, the screen scrolls rather than changing abruptly when you hit the edge (at least in the Atari 800 version; I read that the Apple II version uses fixed rooms).

            Starting outside the pyramid. The Sphinx’s paws are off-screen to my right and left. I know those sentences don’t make sense.

          The levels are structured like mazes, with plenty of dead ends. Treasures and monsters are scattered randomly through the structure, which otherwise has a fixed layout. 

You start with 1,000 energy, and your goal is to find the cat and get out before you run out. Energy depletes in combat but also just from the passage of time. You have a health score that really seems more like a measure of your offensive effectiveness; enemy attacks deplete not “health” but energy. You also have a defense score. Both are adjusted by items that you find in the maze. You also find plenty of treasures, which increase your final score.

Enemies are properly thematic; they include mummies, sand fleas, leeches, desert rats, and cobras. Combat has not evolved since House of Usher. Although you can find weapons like battle axes and spears in the maze, it’s clear that these items simply add to your effectiveness. The only weapon you can actually employ is the rifle. The joystick button fires a bulletin in the last direction that you moved. If you’re going to kill enemies, you really want to get them in a long corridor with limited lateral movement, because once they get in melee range they dart all around you and it’s nearly impossible to shoot them.

          Shooting a leech where he can’t avoid me.

            I say “if you’re going to kill enemies” because it’s hardly necessary. It’s easy enough to run past most of them, and they eventually just disappear. Apparently, combat is easier in the Apple II version but fleeing is harder, because the character and the monsters take turns moving.

As you explore, you randomly run into other menaces for which you need equipment. You might knock over an urn and release poison gas; that’s a job for the gas mask. If a statue falls on you, you pry it off with the prybar. If it suddenly goes completely dark, you light your lantern. And so forth.

             A handy gas mask saved me from poison.

        The maze can be quite frustrating, but you can make it a lot easier with the pick-axe, which burrows through walls. It breaks after a few uses, though, and you need to save at least one use for the top level.

You occasionally come across chambers labeled things like “Hall of the King,” “Room of Mysteries,” “Chamber of Lost Souls,” and so forth. Each one of these has an ankh cross in the room, and touching the cross either activates a trap, grants you a treasure, or gives you a clue. 

               Is it maybe . . . a cat?

             Here are the clues I received:

          What goes out in the morning

Four stone stairways

Search for a golden cat

Through the doorway of the Ka

On four legs

Comes back in the evening

          “Four stone stairways” refers to the fact that you have to ascend four times (using your grappling hook) to reach the final level. Most of the other clues seem to be hinting at a cat, although I have no idea what “through the doorway of the Ka” means except that it’s a (dead-end) room on the third level. You would need these clues, maybe, if the game hadn’t explicitly told you that your goal was to find the cat statue.

              Nothing special happened in this room.

                The fourth level has the “Temple of Bast,” where you at last find the cat statue. From there, you just have to reverse direction and head back to the entrance on the first floor.

           Almost there.

           Once you reach it, however, the game has a surprise for you. A “guardian” appears and says, “what say you to my riddle?” If you get it wrong, you’re “killed and eaten.”

            Note that the metrics below do not constitute a single “score.”

          At first, I thought the “clues” must have something to do with the riddle, and I tried CAT, DOG, and several other possibilities to no avail. Later, after I’d given up and started composing this entry, it occurred to me that the game might be referring to the riddle of the Sphinx. I reloaded, grabbed the statue, answered MAN, and won.

          I suspect I’m not the first, or I’d go for that prize.

           If this seems a bit unfair, it’s entirely possible that the game manual included the riddle or an allusion to it. I haven’t been able to find the original manual. (The MoCAGH’s version just has a blank page inside.)          

The Atari 800 version allows you to save your game in progress, but honestly, if you need it, it’s time to get that bladder infection checked out. The game takes no more than a half hour from beginning to end even if you get lost. It scores a low 15 on the GIMLET, with 1s and 2s in most categories.             

I’ll get to the rest of the Crystalware titles eventually, but probably not all in order because I don’t want to test everyone’s patience, least of all my own. There’s a reason that this catalog went unremembered for so long.               

Still, now that we’ve had some experience with a couple of them, it’s worth talking about Dragon Lair, a 1981 Japanese release that may be the first Japanese RPG, beating Dragon and Princess (1982) by a year. The title was released for the PC-88 and the FM-7 and was written by John and Patty Bell, co-authors of most of the Crystalware titles (only John is credited on Beneath the Pyramids, however). Sam Derboo at Hardcore Gaming 101 covered Dragon Lair back in 2016, and its mechanics sound a lot like Beneath the Pyramids even if its graphics are a little more primitive. Now that we have a foundation with their earlier games, I’ve added it to my list to investigate.

That was a short one. Back we go to the modern list with the first sequel to Telnyr.         **********    

Today’s entry was originally going to be about Danger in Drindisti (1982), the last Dunjonquest title, but I can’t see to solve a puzzle on Level 7 involving glass statues. I can’t imagine that anyone has, but if anyone has played this game and found the Glass Wizard’s lair on Level 7, please give me a hint.

  source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/game-331-beneath-the-pyramids-1980/

[soulcollector0100-blog]

Teyonna Everette Vs CMDI

             IN THE CIRCUIT COURT FOR ARLINGTON COUNTY, VA Teyonna Everette Address Sealed           Plaintiff                                                                                Case #:    ______________                   v.           CMDI           Attention           John Simms           Bruce Pechacek           1593 Spring Hill Rd #400           Vienna, VA 22182           PJTV          Attention          Roger L. Simon          Charles Foster Johnson          Address to be added          Defendant                                                                 COMPLAINT PLAINTIFF, TEYONNA EVERRETTE, comes this day, October 07, 2017, pro se, and for the reasons and causes for his Complaint, states as follows:                               COUNT I, II, III IV VII VI:  Criminal Harassment, Cyber Harassment, Intentional Emotional Distress, Conspiracy and Attempted Murder.                1. Plaintiff, Teyonna Everette and Matthew Orr a constituent of  CMDI shared the equivalent of a romantic fling while working at CMDI during the time period of June, 2007 and December, 2008. Three yellow articles of clothing became memory boxes that highlight romantic events between Teyonna Everette and Matthew Orr.                2. Plaintiff, Teyonna Everette, left CMDI first then Matthew Orr followed 5-6 months later which preceded a move to California by Matthew Orr.                3. In 2014 I was offered a job by Ms. Susan Floyd upon a request for a reference which was turned down by Teyonna Everette. I experienced an unfortunate health situation months later that resulted in me emailing Raven Scott. Daughter of Susan Floyd.            4. The email which was not sent to Matthew Orr and had personal and damaging information was passed around to numerous of people by Raven Scott including Matthew Orr. This is following a Company Website opened by CMDI with Raven wearing yellow. 5. Matthew Orr while working at his previous job before returning to CMDI created a video humiliating me with other people he works with for the whole world to see. Matthew Orr Returned to CMDI in 2015 following these events.                6. I was not fully aware of The damage CMDI and Raven had done till the end of 2016. After Matts refusal to answer my apology letter which was crazy on my part to send.           7. It was highlighted in 2016 that Matt had completely and irreversibly turned and disowned me even to the point of watching me embarrassed on a platform.  CMDI has created policies based off events happening during the time the email was spread around.                8. The Damages are highlighted in this complaint but they will not be highlighted in this cover letter. Please Continue to read Attached pages. Summary of Events and Relief follows, See Attached.                                                                   Respectfully submitted,                                                            _____________________                                                                Teyonna Everette,Plaintiff                                                          Address Sealed Statement of Claim CMDI Attention John Simms Bruce Pechacek 1593 Spring Hill Rd #400 Vienna, VA 22182 PJTV Attention Roger L. Simon Charles Foster Johnson Address to be added Write a short and plain statement of the claim. Do not make legal arguments. State as briefly as possible the facts showing that each plaintiff is entitled to the damages or other relief sought. State how each defendant was involved and what each defendant did that caused the plaintiff harm or violate the plaintiff’s rights including the dates and places of that involvement or conduct. If more than one claim is asserted, number each claim and write a short and plain statement of each claim in a separate paragraph. Attach additional pages if needed. Disclaimer. This complaint is out of ordinary in the fact that it does not accurately demonstrate my brand of communicating and expressing feelings. But due to the utter lack of common sense and flagrant disregard for other people’s feelings and lives displayed by the people listed in this complaint. This complaint is unorthodox in nature and does contain foul language.   April 26, 2017 Teyonna Everette Vs CMDI of Vienna, VA and PJTV of Los Angeles, CA I originally began work at CMDI in the summer of 2007. It was my first official desk job. I was there to work and nothing else. The following serves as a disclaimer. Obviously now I am more aware of the very thin line between a personal and professional relationship and the standards I have set for myself because of past situations.  This is not to say I wasn't professional or that I crossed any lines but this suit does pertain to something of a personal nature. Long story short. I had feelings for the representative of my table. He never directly admitted he reciprocated any feelings but he knew and acknowledged my feelings I would even extend myself to say that he at the very least liked the attention and flirted back. Excuse me started the flirting and then responded to me responding. At the time of him leaving I was under strong belief he returned my feelings but I may or may not have been correct. I continuously played double advocate with myself. But I never received any direct proof. CMDI or a few of its representatives were even equal to gasoline in a fire in terms of playing matchmaker. I fully understand sometimes we can walk by things and not see the full picture and think cute but In light of recent events I find CMDI's behavior questionable.  I left CMDI in December 2007 and then returned sept 2008. I did tell Matt I had feelings for him in email a short time after I left the first time. Though it was not the reason I left. At that time he did say he did not return feelings. I returned to CMDI in sept of 2008 due to circumstances out of my control. I was dead set on it not being a thing and to minimize and or eradicate any chance meetings with Matt since my returning had nothing to do with him. The first day the avoiding Matt thing was quickly dismantled. But our interactions were initiated by him. Originally I was dead set on keeping the conversation strictly to business and only meeting when business mandated it. But then we fell back into old patterns. Our relationship was generally professional but Matt and I had our own brand of communicating. Please forgive the romance novel format it’s unintentional but it’s necessary to explain details. I forgot to add I had lost a substantial amount of weight upon returning to CMDI the second time. I was losing weight before and while at CMDI the first time I just continued to lose weight due to dieting and exercise thereafter. Matt and I are both Beyonce fans and Matt unexpectedly one day pulled me into his cube and put on Beyonce and began to dance.  The song was Get Me Bodied. Beyonce was kind of a keepsake for me. I can’t speak for other people. Two very noteworthy events was the Christmas party in 2008. Somehow we had gotten into a conversation about the Christmas party. He cajoled that he wasn’t going. I had made it clear I wanted him to go. He waited a long time then as I was going to get the bus he said he was going. I called him a punk and left. I wore a yellowish gold and black dress but I had intended to wear red but I didn’t due to the fact that the dress was not as professional as I would have liked. The top part till about my waist area was I want to say a yellowish gold and the skirt part of the dress was black.  Matt wore a pink dress shirt and brown casual slacks. Matt and I ended up sitting together. The night was interesting and eventful to say the least. Matt asked me if I wanted to go outside. The Christmas party was on a boat. I said yes.  Matt got out of his seat and then I followed. Unconsciously I asked the whole table if they wanted to go outside with us. It was an accident. Matt didn’t look the happiest standing but then the servers came around with food. So we decided to wait. Raven had on a short red dress. Personally in my opinion it was way too short for a company party but honestly I didn’t care. I wasn’t jealous. As a female it was just a casual note. The song Lady in Red was the second or third song. Obviously I have feelings for Matt but intelligent enough to know it’s not fair or reasonable to be jealous. She’s not even sitting with us. I would be interested to know who created the playlist but neither here nor there. I did wear the same red dress that I was thinking about wearing to the party the next business day at CMDI. Note the red dress was purchased and it was fir to be worn but at the last minute I changed my mind and purchased the yellow/gold and black. Teyonna was JEALOUS. End of discussion. Helps me ascertain that as Crazy as this sounds Raven wearing yellow might not be as innocent as people make it out to be. Secondly I agree I would never do anything of the sort if off puts me reading this. But I’ve met Raven and CMDI and Matt has given me reason to no longer trust them, which is sad because I’m a very reasonable person. These people like messy scenes and situations.   The second noteworthy event was the going away party at Matt’s friend’s house. I received an email from Matt after I had started my new job that he was moving to California to pursue school. Obviously I was caught off guard but I said if that's what he wanted then I wish him well. I also said I wanted to hang out with him before he left. He told me very last minute his friend was throwing a party. Again Matt never made anything clear I never said anything directly but the whole world knew I had feelings for Matt. I did learn the night of the going away party that Matt’s car is gold. I had no idea up until that point.   Matt and I didn’t speak again until 2013* after a bad dream. I emailed and we talked briefly. Generally we left on good terms buts Matt's thing is to throw shit out for the sake of conversation which he has no intention of fulfilling much like his behavior at CMDI. This is really said with no heat. I didn’t care I was emailing under a guise to assure he was fine. And I was already aware when emailing of Matts disability (this is meant in humor.) Emailing Matt was out the ordinary CMDI events happened years ago. Maybe a year to a year and a half later I had an unfortunate health situation which resulted in me emailing Raven. It was not a situation in which she should have been upset or offended. I did apologize to Raven for bothering her which she did not respond to although someone with any sense would say it wasn't necessary. The email or the health situation has absolutely no bearing in the case as that picture was up long before those emails. I’ve never had problems with Raven or any staff of CMDI. In fact before that email CMDI and I were on VERY good terms to my knowledge.  I did become aware of the our team profile in 2014 but I have been to CMDI’s site quite frequently due to needing the address or number. I initially thought 'nice pictures' and I glossed over Raven wearing a yellow jacket and pink lip gloss. I thought about and it clicked in my head that I wore gold and black to the Christmas party. Another not yellow was  worn two other times all marking important days with Matt. Not important to anyone else but if Matt and I were Married yellow would have been the color of our wedding. Yellow was worn on two other occasions with Matt.In terms of the suit Yellow would now be my favorite color. I’m thinking maybe I’m making a big deal of nothing but then it comes to my attention prominent songs by well-known artist have themselves portrayed  in yellow/ gold. I will name all of them but the most prominent one was we found love in a hopeless place by Rihanna. The song itself says yellow diamonds. I believe this song was released in 2011. FYI my real name rhymes exactly with Rihanna.  And obviously this bears no importance to people who have sense or who don’t have feelings for each other but it helps in proving that Raven is jealous. The other songs videos were Countdown by Beyonce. California King by Rihanna and Taylor Swifts Wildest Dreams. Wildest Dreams was made after the fact but everything else was before the CMDI picture profile page was created. There's also Princess Tianna and The Frog. The Disney movie where the main character was wearing goldish yellow in parts of the movie. This came out end of 2009 I Wasn���t exactly a huge fan but all in all making a point.  This list is not inclusive  so I don’t appear long winded or crazy. Anytime I hear a love song and I see yellow in the video I thought of Matt. Yellow is a keepsake for Matt and I. And If it came to my attention Im sure it came to Raven’s. It shouldn’t have but Raven has given you proof she was too interested in Matt and I’s business. Its Romantic. It’s a night of lovemaking on sight.  I’m just making a point. Raven get dudes who want to **** and Matt and I’s fantasy land is equal to he wants to make love on sight of me. Im not jealous. To show you whose jealous.  Obviously I’d agree without certain circumstances you can wear whatever color you wish to wear on ANY platform. It is not of my concern. But I feel very much disrespected by Raven and the entire CMDI staff. It implies they are behind her attempting to embarrass humiliate and steal something that shouldn’t have been stealable. I think Raven became jealous because the yellow identified me and I was first. Im sorry the only. Yellow is a pretty color but if I’m choosing a color to be everywhere its pale pink a sky blue. But LOVE REAL LOVE happens on chance by accident. I wore shirt with my husband and it became a time stamp a memory box.  So I’m assuming you choosing to wear yellow is. Teyonna is everywhere and or its romantic and or it should have been me and or it is me and bitch is tripping. Obviously these celebrities don’t know us. These songs were not made about us but there is such a thing as this is My song. Our song. Firstly yellow is not a professional color. It’s more of an Occasion color. Obviously some people have eccentric personalities but if were going with a business website and profile picture I’m not picking yellow.  It’s already a feat to find a shirt in yellow worth buying. But Raven has on a yellow suit Jacket.  And from what I can see it was not an entire suit just the jacket.  So either she went around in a professional setting looking like a rainbow which sadly I believe or she planned it. Yellow was a must. Not just a nice outfit for picture day.  . That’s equal to picking out shoes for a wedding dress.  And I also find it every hard to believe that one if Raven says it was a coincidence she didn’t remember five minutes later a day later. Teyonna yellow/Gold  Matt pink. Classic. And because Ravens has proven she’s a child someone else didn’t go. Teyonna Gold. Matt Pink. Classic. Hey remember when? Anyone who has a bf or a spouse should understand precisely where I'm coming from. Raven’s special. Rules and social standards don't apply to her but people better come correct when it comes to her. Brian  is Ravens boyfriend made up name BUT I cant use his real name. I want  Brian to make love to me with the same song he made love to Raven to and then I’m going to be riding in the car with Raven and say this anon and I’s favorite song. Wink.  And yall still dating. Oh ok. Matt confirming or not confirming he had feelings is neither here nor there. It’s dead. Teyonna and Matt are dead but you do not get to trample on memories fantasies or my identity and claim them as your own. Or to try and recreate Matts and Is wedding and just crop me out and then insert yourself.  To be quite honest I'm disappointed in life right now. I don't understand why you're jealous of someone else's first dance at their wedding. I want to get married is normal. Not I want to slow dance with her husband to this exact song when she sits down and have him come to my hotel room for their honeymoon not his wife. It’s really batshit. Backwards. Screams child who was not taught vital things. Class and common sense are priceless and unteachable. It’s disrespectful on so many levels. She’s calling my name trying to gets Matt’s attention. And CMDI and or Raven and or Matt call themselves getting mad when I respond to my name being called. Seriously someone with any sense should have said pick another color. What makes this worse Raven is a silly broad by herself but Matt returned to CMDI in 2015 and entertained the silly broad. Gave life to the sick fantasy in her head. This was news in 2014. Now I'm calmer and care less but while I'm aware Raven has everyone in her pocket she needs an asswhooping. Note I tried to pg this complaint Asswhooping Is the only word that works. Shrug. I tried.  Long overdue and withheld by people claiming to love her. Is sad. Is a grown adult and either she put words in everyone's mouth or they agree and this is a muti cultural unbiased equal opportunity ass whooping. I’d be embarrassed really as professionals. You have now taken Teyonna and Matt. Husband and wife and turned it into Teyonna Matt and Ravens first dance at their wedding. Husband wife and Side chick ...oops no.. And jealous B with a platform she shouldn't have had. And that's being Nice its equal to it was Teyonna and Matts wedding and someone locked me in a closet before taking my dress off and putting it on Raven. Fuck Teyonna really. I’d be very interested to know whose idea it was to create the picture profile. I'd believe the men who were there that they forgot but I’m not believing any female there if they are saying they forget and its unrelated. Especially since the office manager Susan Floyd and the caging manager Raven Scott are related. Mother and daughter. And both are equal to first line family to Bruce Pechaceck meaning they kiss each other’s ass. Bruce is COO. Matt is in that family favorite clique with CMDI so I’d be surprised no I’m sorry I wouldn't believe that Ravens color choice was a coincidence. And  Teyonnas not jealous because Teyonna was in that family favorite clique with CMDI as well. I’ve already worked there twice and was offered a third time. The answer was no but it just makes you scratch your head as these people’s behavior. If I have not clarified Raven was wearing a yellow jacket and pink lip gloss in the CMDI picture profile. I find it irritating that I have to make a messy situation (not of my doing) even messier due to negligence and lack of professionalism. I am a business professional and clearly understand the boundaries between personal and business interactions. And definitely the difference between a business platform and a Facebook profile. That is something CMDI has not clearly and adequately distinguished. The last I saw of the picture profile was the end of 2016. I check today April 02, 2017 and they have changed outfits. Raven is now in black smiling sheepishly. It's not enough. I feel as though they owe me damages. They do owe me damages. I don't find anything funny and for people to make all that money they are not that Bright. You cannot erase implications or fucking emotional rape. I am not and have never been jealous of Raven for obvious reasons. I don't fight over men excuse me boys and  I  dont create messy scenes or situations with companies I’ve worked for. Really.  I will take your money but I didn’t want it. How much does common sense cost these days?  Really? Sadly she has successfully removed my feelings for MATT. Teyonna doesn’t do hoodrats doesn’t do messy scenes or anything of this sort. When I have to sue firstly a Company for involving itself in their employees lives and then I can’t get god fearing conservative WHITE men to act according to what they’ve supposedly been taught and what they’ve been packaged as. RESPECT  COMMON SENSE and the LAW are FREE default settings that should come with every human being you owe me your company. Noone’s asking for your right arm. Pinky Promise. Good people. Right Thing to do. Respect. Much like I Respect everyone and people expect it back.  Matts equal to a fucking pedophile and Raven is equal to his daughter. Before people start lookin for things to sue me for it’s a metaphor. Raven’s a child copying her mother. Does not understand she cant fuck her father. Will not be fucking her father. And she will laugh like it’s cute and funny. Jail time is not funny. Neither is being responsible for a WHOLE company coming to ruin. Adults have consciences and receptor as to cause and affect Raven and Matt do not. Im seriously starting to believe two are slow. It’s not just anger talking but they behave in a way that doesn’t make sense to MOST people.  End of Discussion. It’s not a jealousy thing. You can’t tell these people anything. Their behavior implies they believe they are right and they THINK I’m wrong. Raven is a nevermind. I wasn’t jealous for a reason. But when you have these so called men who run things and get paid and are respected and they behave like this it’s a fucking mind sweep. She’s trash. That’s the WORLD? really?  These are MEN? SMFH Raven is now wearing black in the picture profile which was supposed to be a concede I’m guessing but it’s still rubbing me the wrong way. I will admit I no longer trust CMDI for good reason. And they now have a reason to be upset but this is after provocation by Raven. Black is a universal color that can be worn for any occasion but because she tripped the cord with her thighs she is now responsible for the tv falling and the damage to the socket. It was very avoidable and considering what has happened they didn’t pay it the proper respect it deserves. It was blatant retaliation for Raven being jealous. Im not calling it a concede any longer. It’s a small possibility but it’s a bigger possibility that it was done to mimic or erase me. Because I did wear yellow and black to the Christmas party. I also wore an all black dress to the Christmas part in 2007. Matt and I took a picture together and we flirted the whole night. Matt and I have had a few outings outside of work which notate or place importance on colors or events. I’m already aware Raven thinks she lives in a no consequences world probably due to the fantasy land CMDI has created for her. I have direct proof of this FYI. But CMDI staff is also certifying they agree by what appears to be conspiracy. I have a very valid reason to be upset and you not acknowledging it with the respect it deserves after what appears to be intentional emotional distress and also what appears to be a 'bitch and' attitude. The fact it was possible at all is you may not have the right people working for you. Retaliation screams CMDI’s success is magic or John Simms , someone I  have not met, is the  total brains behind the operation. I’m aware Bruce’s authority who is supposed to be the next disciplining voice in the business is diluted compromised unprofessional and untrustworthy in terms of separating his professional responsibility with his personal responsibility. But side note I’d hope if you're calling people friends that you never have to exert yourself in a compromising situation that places doubt on your morals or Christian beliefs. But that’s just me. Right is right and wrong and wrong.  I dont care who you are. It shows that CMDI staff and its leadership is too personally involved in the personal life and affairs of particular people especially Raven and Ms. Susan. I never made Matt and I’s thing or not thing public. Of course if you had eyes and ears you might pick it up if you stayed long enough. But being an adult and having a job automatically certifies you understand what personal and professional life means and that the two must be differentiated. That is obviously not the case with CMDI. They created a vendetta based off what was equal to me loving my husband. This is a loose metaphor to make a point. You can call it whatever you like because quite frankly Matts feelings on me is not the reason for this case. So I pondered over this because I am a business professional and I’m aware of how all messy this is. Raven is messy and me responding, If CMDI was not aware of Raven’s intentions, turns me into Raven in reverse and never that. Never in this life am I and Raven comparable. But I'm nearly certain it’s not as coincidental as people would like me to believe. I start veering in the I dont give a fuck avenue and it accelerates the speed at which this is presented to you. I don’t do disrespect very well especially by people I called myself liking and trusting. I don’t allow people to put words in my mouth or fucking allow people to fucking disrespect me. I’ve never been jealous of Raven.  That includes April 06, 2017 at 1:25 p.m. which is what time it is right now. That’s hand on the bible. Even while heavy I never saw anything that anyone hasn’t already had. I was a virgin then and I am a virgin now. Raven walked around with her too short dresses and much like her personality screams cheap whore who doesn’t understand there is a life outside of her vagina. I don’t know of Matt's feelings on anything.  And at this point it shouldn't have mattered. I sent him an email about a while ago and while unrelated to anything he didn’t respond. I agree what happened years ago is personal his feelings or not feelings his secret him responding to my email is a gift. But me not suing is also a gift. One I am choosing not to give. But of course all this is IF he’s claiming complete ignorance to Raven and CMDI’s intentions.  But I do have to assume based off past and recent events that he is siding with them or shunning me for sake of them. And again this suit has nothing to do with Matt’s feelings for me. But it would appear that Matt came back to cause intentional emotional distress in comparison to it was just a job in a time of need. And the video he created while working at his previous job doesn’t exactly help Raven’s or his case.  I negate Matts feelings because they really are not the reason for the case and two Matt has proven where his loyalties lie and his protectiveness his feelings his Game whatever you want to call it will turn into disgust and he will exaggerate negative feelings to protect CMDI and because he thinks it will affect me. So we can safely remove his feelings. What he thinks. I do not give a flying fuck. I am going to take your money and give two shits about what he feels thinks or believes I truly don’t care. Me calling your name all these years later is MONEY. I DID NOT CARE. TRULY DID NOT and the last email I sent to Matt was goodbye forever. He has no idea. But I don’t care. That email wouldn’t even have been sent if things hadn’t happened causing me to worry. Yall are just messy to the point yall in my kitchen using YOUR pots and pans and leaving them in my SINK. I DON’T KNOW YOU firstly breaking and entering then disorderly conduct. And because im dealing with hoodrats ASSAULT CHARGES. OoH ATTEMPTED MURDER.  BECAUSE I Defended myself. No I DON’T know you. Lets keep it that way. Ooh lets not forget trespassing.  I did not invite you anywhere and you all in my house. Let’s not forget the most important part. You look crazy. Batshit Insane. You have your own kitchen where you could have used your own pots and pans and it would have been legal. SMFH. I will never understand still don’t. Going to jail. And you owe me money. Brand new House. Damaged property but is a bad memory and I just moved here was in love with the neighborhood. I need to move. Out of myself I need to move. That’s your fucking life.  So we are clear. You wearing MY color like we talked about it. And sweetheart is it MY color. You’re owning matt was mine cause you wearing my color.  Your color is an ugly electric green. Attached to nothing but a fading company and memories of hay days. You were not given permission. The equation is company website to steal my husband which caused me and my husband to  divorce and whom I  now secretly hate.  Same Difference. I really need people to look at their thirsty desperate messy whores then the low lives they work for and then themselves in the mirror before attempting to tell me ANYTHING. Ooh and then themselves. You look fucking batshit. Honestly.  You claim you want to be left alone. Somehow I'm the problem. But you’re fucking attached at the hip to drama.  Delusional. Really. Record yourself saying one plus one equals three. Say it confidently. Nope still incorrect. She opened her legs on a platform screaming my name. She���s jealous. Matt came running. Firstly ewww. The fact that she pretty much took all her clothes off on a business platform to get her desired results is already like damn do you have ANY standards. Secondly I’d be embarrassed no humiliated that I’m at the center of drama with my job because I don’t know what a whore is or how to shut the whore down. But above all not to use business websites for personal vendettas. And me using the word vendetta is me accidentally covering for her. She was mad by herself in her head. Why do I know about any of it? Exactly. Unprofessional messy whores.  Raven did not exist to me after the six months I left in 2009 and that was only due to the fact that we were for a brief time friends on twitter or was it facebook?  I’m not looking Raven Scott up for ANYTHING and I do mean ANYTHING. A reference. That’s an email at most. It appears like she wanted to make sure Matt and or I saw it. I really have no idea when the picture profile was created and why... I have no stake anywhere. But you both are saying you will suffer for it but you trying to skip out on the suffering you handing out and think shouldn't come back to you. It always comes back around. And before people try to turn this into something it’s not.  I don’t care what anyone says if the situation is reversed and Matt and I both leave and I return to CMDI after someone he has a business relationship with and likes to some degree on some level gets on a platform wearing pink and I return to CMDI after this picture goes up and AFTER I have shunned Matt.  And I have turned it into an US against you thing when the platonic friend guy was jealous and TURNED me against you because he’s JEALOUS created a situation to see who’s the winner and got the normal desired reaction out of you and I used it to disown or turn you into the enemy. You’re angry.  You are.   Didn’t do shit. But moving along.  Someone also needs to tell CMDI if for some reason they are paranoid and they read too much into WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS place and decided Teyonna is the enemy. It’s a song unrelated to real life events.  Matt left as well.  That would mean you should be upset with both.  You’d still certify as crazy but then you’re crazy has logic. It’s called jealousy. You welcomed Matt back with open arms with the condition he shun me and obviously I’m making a general point in a roundabout metaphor. I have no proof this has happened.  I had no problems with CMDI or Raven or Matt till 2014.  I am not the problem. And please don’t mistake me I don’t care of CMDI feelings on me. I don’t want to work there. Don’t want to be friends. I no longer care of Matt's feelings of me. We can never speak again but you won’t disrespect me. You will not be throwing me away in a trash can in Timbuktu too after you THINK or call yourself using me. This suit makes It looks very much the other way around. And Everyone knows it was me and without 2014s events and you being the desperate messy whore you are. Had things gone differently the way Life should have gone for a young  twenty something youre an after thought. You still are. It was just eating Raven alive at what you thought Matt and I were doing. Fucking. Making love under the moonlight. Creating babies. Dancing under the moonlight. Forgetting Raven exist. The way it should have been. Bitch you’re sick. It’s none of your business. I truly do not believe it was a jealous because I have feelings for Matt kind of thing. I think it’s a someone I don’t deem better then me or someone I didn’t SEE shitting on me. Did two bowel movements then came back with fucking diaherrea. Yes you sat under my toilet. I didn’t put you there. You put yourself there. Jealous. End of discussion. That’s what I believe. I just wish better people were around. People like you needed to go to our wedding and sit at the front. Sick and sad human beings.  I am still a young twenty something. It’s unfortunate Matts not smart enough to mentally trash you and ignore your sad attempt to gain leverage in a world that’s more than a title and a skin color. Yes I know Raven falls in that press to be light category. How did you get your title? Still a caging manager ten years later boo? SMFH. Did they give you salary? Cover you’re LONG lunch breaks. It’s very sad that these people became so enthralled in my life they decide their freedom and their checks was worth attempting to ruin my life. I’m too busy living my life to be worried about other people. I was in love once. Blissfully happy and wanted the same for other people. But severely disinterested in other people’s life and definitely in their suffering. People need to ask themselves WHY am I so dissatisfied with life and why do I enjoy seeing the suffering of others? Unfulfilled people looking for validation or a moment of satisfaction that someone else is suffering. Someone I know is suffering. Its sad. I am hesitant to add this because it has no basis in reality except that I presume I can safely assume if this song summoned a memory it must have done the same for Matt and Raven. I am referring to Dance for You by Beyoncé.  While at the Christmas party in 2008 there was a part in the night where me and a few other women did a line dance to Cupid Shuffle.  It was purely for enjoyment nothing more but Obviously Dance for you sparked that memory for me. It’s romantic In nature. When I saw the video the first time I didn't automatically think of Raven but upon viewing it a few more times. I did start to notice the short silky red dress and I was wearing a two piece dress. So the implications did obviously come to my attention after views of the video. I can’t do anything more than guess but I’ve met Raven. I would not be surprised if she saw that video and made it true and then turned me into the enemy because she’s jealous. Or because she has somehow convinced herself Matt has feelings for her or she has now created some fantasy  that I have nothing to do with. Again. I don't have proof of this. I just know she is a Beyonce fan and this video sparked a memory for me.  Raven likes black men. And while this has no basis in anything. Making a point. Raven had a boyfriend while I was working there his name will be removed from the complaint. Fyi was all through it previously. Would like not to get sued. I just presume she lost her fucking mind when she BELIEVED Matt returned feelings.  And he did leave. Did. returned what 6 years later implying CMDI and her was an afterthought. But moving along. Raven Is press. Is of the SLAVE variety. The fleshlight variety. No brains sense or any kind of direction or morales. Her facebook profile proves this. Once again skirt was WAY Too short and she had about 10 guys commenting. Probably slept with half. Just guessing. Estimating UP. Me having to file a suit with a company and then a company I worked for doesn’t sit well with me but some things are necessary to make points. I obviously don’t like doing things on this grand a scale without voice recordings and Raven watching the videos then asking to create the profile then wearing yellow but some things are I see smoke there must be a fire. . I understand why Raven is jealous of me. Her job was given to her and all the jobs I’ve gotten I’ve gotten on my own accord based off my OWN capabilities and intelligence. Salaried positions, business trips and Mortons. That is all. Noone is jealous. Raven on the other hand has mommy and daddy to spoon feed her while she simultaneously feels better then people and claims to be running shit. And she didn’t do that well. Everyone knows Raven should not have been there long enough for this suit to be possible. Should not have been there to be on a website wearing yellow. There were two fire worthy events when I was working there and its not an exaggeration. She is running shit, the brown shit in her underwear. That be about it. It’s really not cute. Raven’s and Matt’s paycheck is equal to someone dropped 300 dollars every day and they picked it up. That means its free money and someone suffered behind you. How is anyone opening their mouth to say ANYTHING. It really blows my mind. Me having to sue is fucking Raven Matt and CMDI is trying to imply I’m inferior or that Teyonna even competes with fucking trash cans both are WHO is going to pay me to listen to you open your mouth and utter BS. It truly is a suit how these females walk around with diapers on believing they first are morally or emotionally intelligent enough to be in a position of power but then that they are better than people. And she calls herself stealing shit that she needs fucking ladders to reach. No mam. Go get the Damn ladder that weighs three times as much as you. Kids. Its irritating. Why do I have to take on the MOTHER tone with people who are OLDER than me? And her mother sitting in HER face. They need to start making common sense and church a requirement to have a job. It directly correlates. I'm suing you. You did something extraordinary inappropriate on job hours and its fucking one in a billion. And Sadly Raven will go around believing its somehow cool or  a compliment. There are pedophiles serial killers deranged people in jail. You don’t want to go. It’s not cool. CMDI  Bruce and Matt has lulled her to sleep in la la land. It’s a crime and Bruce happens to be attractive but it’s not sexy. I was already aware you were trash I just have proof now. It's called personality. Read it. Saw it. Didn’t see anything.   What irritates me is these men are spending money for WHORES and chicks that aint worth shit. It  ANNOYS the fuck out of me. SHES jealous for a reason. She’s owning SHES inferior and yet YOU cant see it. Not that CMDIS or Matt's opinion matters anymore but the bitch is worth shit. ZILCH. You won’t put words in my mouth. You CANT turn my life into shit because one she’s jealous and two you are trying to make us equal or make me lesser than Raven. No sir. Her only bargaining TOOL is you. So when and if she takes THAT. The problem is still NOT me. So you make yourself inferior. AMAZING. Matt is owning he is shit too. Dudes blow my fucking MIND. Like what they did is we are both trash cans. Messing with Raven in any way is owning we are trashcans. Raven is equal to my sister in terms of damages. But what they are doing is Teyonna in so many words is saying alright have it your way. I'm done. Forget my name. Ravens fantasy is to see Teyonna suffer for the simple reason she is jealous and I GOT fucking GOD to turn on her. It’s not a compliment but Raven will smile all wide like Im the shit and you are the shit just not like how you think. No mam not in my book not in my life. That is the devils work and people need to stop decorating and feeding it.  In another life this is a crime. I Take that back. IS a crime. Please keep reading. You are going out your way to make my life miserable because Ravens fantasy is that she is better than Teyonna. And her way of having proof is to take her ONLY entrance in my life and use it to embarrass hurt and humiliate me. And Teyonna is neither when people become the opposite of how they represent themselves you’re opinion becomes shit. Otherwise Teyonna doesn't care Raven exist or is even breathing. I came to CMDI’s website where business is conducted not Raven's facebook profile where she creates her own little fantasy world which Teyonna knows nothing about but needs me to see it   because she wants my HUSBAND and the only way to do that is to kill me.  She is going to cover for herself and Matt. And make me out to be the problem. Problem. I'm still alive whore. CHECK THE resume. The fact that I ever wanted Matt would imply Teyonna’s stupid. I give you that. But other than that  you and I aren't comparable you turned criminal for something I got easily. Free.  Excuse me looks like someone owes me money. It would then be someone paid me to be in MATTS face. HILARIOUS really.  There's a name for women like Raven. Whores they don't have any redeeming outstanding or noteworthy qualities outside their vagina. they use sex as a means to get their way. They Use manipulate and downgrade weak morally compromised and insecure validation seeking boys as bargaining chips. It’s fucking sad. Precisely how God and the bible become fucking long forgotten nursery rhymes. And men will stomp around throwing out unimportant unrelated information attractiveness level boob size blah se. Look up aids and get back to me. Now you get it. Can I see your face? I want to see it. Whores have no or very low thresholds for unsavory unmoral behavior.  I will get upset when Bruce looks his wife in her face and say RAVEN is worth more than she is. He's going to jail for her NO MAM. Might certify Bruce needs help but I doubt you putting them kind of words in his mouth. Silly BROAD. SMFH. Something is wrong with people. Like seriously something is irreversibly wrong. Your mother should pay you not to mention she raised you. Fucking SAD. She wants to have proof she won and is better.  It’s just not true. Firstly we aren't competing. I don't see ANYTHING. Competing with you on any level brings me down 10 points. But just for fun I WON.  I left. He left. We left.  Together. You putting on yellow AFTER the fact is someone prophesied the world was coming to  an end before it happened and Raven is on the fucking ARK wearing the same colors the dude wore when he said the world was coming to the end. Raven and Matt have now decided they prophecy-ed it and the dude that DID he cant come in the ARK. He built the ARK cant come in. Matt and Raven Swearing he is the devil.  It’s why you owe me money. This is a metaphor for people of lower intelligence or people who go on witch hunts. Just to end the conversation before it starts. Fate. Destiny. All the romantic stuff  people believe when they have feelings for other people. I love the females wearing black in the picture profile. EXCITED! Want to take Teyonna’s place. Bitch I'm selling it. After they get out of jail. No mam. I could get press. I could. Only little girls compete. They don't have self-value or worth to make rules. Let a fucking criminal decide. Never in this life. Woman OWN things. Hoes. Whores. interchangeable. Not worth anything. Free. You see how he sacrificed the stupid hoes and he has to be INVESTIGATED. I'm more than sure he’s pulling strings but you're in? you’re in. SIlLY BROADS. Really. Youre in the middle of bullshit for TRASH. ITS not jealousy talking that left 2015. THIS IS RAGE. I DONT FUCKING SEE ANYTHING. SILLY WHORES. That be about it.  Slaves. Who open their legs and mouths even sell their soul because trash walked in. I have a dumpster for you. Fuck no. So did Bruce sign up to Give Matt a job a free check just so he could pay me money? Not that I give a fuck. I know he’s excited. But then who knows last I thought I could have sworn Bruce was VP. I could be incorrect. But COO did catch my attention in 2014. Not in relation to anything just that I thought he was VP. But that is the entirety of my complaint. Let me GIVE dumb ass a list of CORRECT can’t touch Matt answers. I’m sorry I watched the video again and this list is a lie. Owed me money in 2015.  Pissed me off all over again. But generally making a point. Some people have GOOD PARENTS. GOOD HOME TRAINING. Lost your fucking MIND. Does not return to CMDI Disowns BOTH Raven CMDI and Teyonna. That was years ago HAD  nothing to do with CMDI's intentions. Hope everything is alright with Teyonna. We use to be married and all. Just expected concern. Returns to CMDI takes Teyonna out to eat for 20 dollars was all just a big misunderstanding. This is presuming Matt acted with any sense and enjoyment of living. Hmm 20 DOLLARS 20 MILLION. Your parents FAILED life. smfh The one I love. RESPONDS to the email I sent that was probably stupid on my part considering Raven's a SILLY whore and you took her side. But ECLIPSE. You MISSED IT. YOU did.  FREE. lMAO. It’s a wrap. I mean Matt acted so opposite of what makes sense that when he says angry he means excited. You can’t claim anything when you side with the person who created the problem. Your argument becomes null and void. You like it. You wanted this to happen. Dreaming about it.  If Matts claiming Hurt it implies that you have enough feelings for that person that they can hurt you. Mad implies you have a reason to be upset NEITHER are true. Me even attempting to contact you when you are in the wrong is fucking crazy on my end. But there is nothing I can say for a reason. Me trying to apologize or to try and get you to understand was pointless. The fact that I’m apologizing at all implies you made me feel like one was necessary that in itself if you deserve a jail cell. But You’re not mad or hurt you want to see me suffer for having feelings for you. It’s not sane behavior. It’s not a rational thought. You are probably racist and probably have a personality disorder. It has nothing to do with me.  In fact I’m pretty sure that PJTV’s staff and CMDI’S staff doesn’t understand what feelings are. There is an illness that describes it precisely. The fact that Bruce is listed among the people that should be arrested pisses me off because he blankets the 200 ft fall and the gun at the bottom that should accompany a suit for fucking one plus one equals 2. If I get told I’m involved in a suit at work I’m walking in front of a bus at lunch. What people do is sacrifice themselves for wild animals and it’s precisely why Raven and Matt don’t fully comprehend what consequences are. Not only that they give these people titles and authority. They build walls around these people and sign people up to suffer for them. You’re not putting those kind of words in my mouth let alone anyone else’s. I’m better than them. The fact that you tried it is spit tin your face.  The fact that Bruce hired him after that video with PJTV is Bruce shouldn’t have had a job.  It should have been we hired that clown EVER let alone AGAIN. And what could have TRUMPED IT all. Bruce. We got knuckle heads working here. Teyonnas words. TRASH. We owe you some money. Oh maybe it shouldnt have been possible at all? But Maybe Bruce is just a tad upset came to his senses. Teyonna responds and says. Nope dont want your money. Just fire the ass whole. Fwds Matt the email. You heard the GIRL.  Cool ass chick.  End of DISCUSSION. Problem solved.  You owe me Money, Now. There are NO DISCUSSIONS. There is no BARGAINING. Stop hiring and building was around fucking ANIMALS. All dressed up smelling of garbage its disgusting and sickening. I’m going to spend the rest of my life washing matt off. You owe me for that alone. I’m washing up with fucking trash. Trash. Cmdi told me it was soap. You owe me fucking money. Disgusted and fucking disturbed. Stay the fuck away from ne. END OF DISCUSSION. Relief State briefly and precisely what damages or other relief the plaintiff ask the court to order. DO not make legal arguments. Include any basis for claiming that the wrongs alleged are continuing at the present time. Include the amounts of any actual damages claimed for the acts alleged and the basis for the present time. Include any punitive or exemplary damages claimed, the amounts, and the reasons you claim you are entitled to actual or punitive money damages. For any request for the injunctive relief, explain why monetary damages at a later time would not adequately compensate you for the injuries you sustained, are sustaining, or will sustain as a result of the events described above, or why such compensation could not be measured. Should I find out ANY COMMUNICATION IVE SENT TO MATT ESPECIALLY ANY OF A PERSONAL NATURE HAS BEEN SENT REVIEWED OR DISCUSSED WITH Raven add 50 MILLION Not even because of what the email contained. Two are incredibly disrespectful.  I’m more adult mature and adult than two and it would have been purposefully done. Matt was not taught properly how to be a man. Or  how to fucking take his next breathe without a fucking breathing machine. Neither can fucking touch me and the fact that you are trying to ACT like you need to separate yourself from drama or like you need to cut people off.    IM paying for Matts father not teaching Matt how to be A MAN. THAT’S THE FUCKING problem in a nutshell.  Can I sue his fucking PARENTS for not telling people when they meet him SOMETHING IS IREEEVERSIBLY WRONG. NO REALLY. CAN I SUE THEM NEXT. I HAVE FUCKING MONEY.  Whose in the middle of SUIT YOU ARE. YOU FUCKING ARE NOT ME. LETS GO back and see WHO offered ME a job upon asking for a reference what MONTHS before the email. Exactly. If I was the kind of classless trashy hoodrat that Raven is who uses people I might have said yes and the new guy the sexy dude might have been Matts Replacement. A joke I don’t do work romances. But in another life. I need a pic of me sitting on his lap. Trying to run Matt off. Make him wear pink. Cant come back. Make fun of Matt on our off time. Tell the 25 how Matt was a seat warmer for the big boys. Lmao. And Back, Scene. I am requesting 25 million in damages plus attorney, Post Office and court fees. I am willing to bargain with that amount for the following considerations. Should Raven Scott and Matthew Orr decide they would like to pursue or maintain a platonic relationship (ie--friends) damages will be 35 million automatically.---Update Requesting Raven and Matt not be allowed to have any contact of ANY kind in the future. Should the list sent to them have been sent around add 100 million. They were told to delete this list two years ago and I was told the list was deleted. Should Raven Scott and Matthew Orr get less than 15 years in prison (with considerations 15 years with considerations 25) damages become 75 million automatically.  I prefer and recommend 30 years. Should somehow by the devils work Raven and Matt evade Jail time Damages become 700 Million. This is highly unfavorable. I want jail time with a finding of GUILT. Should one or more of these coincide the damages become 50 million with the exclusion of Marriage. Automatically. Should an investigation show things I am not aware of 10-20 million may be added to damages. I do feel like the investigation should include events between the dates of April 2014 and Dec 2014 and  March 2015 and Dec 2015. Should it be brought to my attention that Matt and Raven are in a romantic and or sexual relationship in the future the damages will become 50 million. 65 million if they were in a past relationship or currently are in a relationship. An investigation would not be necessary at that point it’s obvious Raven did what she did purposefully and did it to get a reaction out of me so that she could cover for herself and Matt.  But Matt shouldn't have needed a cover.  abcs and two way streets.  In another life. I would have taken you up on that two street. Teyonna has self-respect though.  WINK. Looks better BETTER TOO. And ABOVE ALL. good men and men with brains kills whores on site for a reason. You just downgraded yourself. Ewww. Common sense. you owe me for the sinking feeling when broad is a whore and I'm not jealous of her. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FOR SALE RAVEN. Raven has PROVEN  her vagina and self-worth IS RAVEN WILL pay you to use her. Probably been used a billion. Times. Ewww my brains needs a Clorox wipe. Disgust for two.  I will waive penalties for ONE person offering up information for the investigation. In Particular Matts and Ravens relationship should they not be honest or forthcoming. Should Matt Show any signs of protectiveness or feelings of Raven in any communications or in my presence or even as a Matt said by someone else add 20 million.  This is mandated.  I’d prefer not to see either again. I'm here because two people decided to be reckless worthless trashcans and CMDI and PJTV gave them platforms.  They both need to be supervised and they are fucking adults. Obviously it will come to your attention this has been edited and I have already made  clear that Matthew Orr Breached one RELIEF purposefully shamelessly and obnoxiously. This whole COMPLAINT is ALREADY more explanatory and understanding than ANY of you deserve. The fact that we have MATTS walking around in business causal clothing carrying a concealed weapon (His white skin) is SICEKNING. Have proof. I am not just making this stuff up. The fact that we have LAW and POLICE OFFICERS in place to protect criminals is fucking we don’t have a justice or criminal system. Heads up Im a female. Is suppose to come first in EXTREME situations.  Just saying.  And never did I think I would ever be here with these people in this MANNER. I FEEL LIKE THIS suit should be made public even at my EXPENSE for the sole FACT MATTHEW ORR is a fucking deadly weapon with a silencer. And it’s sold in the fucking kids sections. Matt’s a baby bomber. No matter what Raven has or has not done MATT gave her life.  THIS suit IS matt. CMDI AND PJTV put bullets in him and he fired.  Those are two companies. Things I’ve been taught are equal to churches in terms of behavior. IT’S sickening. I CANT SAY IT ENOUGH. DO HIS PARENTS FEEL SHAME. GUILT. They should. You made CAKE without the eggs PURPOSEFULLY. HE thinks he is NORMAL. HES NOT SORRY. Part of my identity is that EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS the law and the bible and even when we are in Russia everyone knows the bible and the LAW. Especially people I have given entrance into my life. They know those two things like the back of their hand. Practice it. Are examples of it. Disgusted. And in case I can’t get through to HIM--- going to jail or giving me an exorbitant amount of money answers for you. You are wrong. It wasn’t worth it. You’re not sane. It’s not legal. It shouldn’t have been possible. You acted incredibly inappropriate and if you don’t give two cents about me how about your freedom your reputation and YOUR identity. SICK. All I have to say.  The means doesn’t justify the end. YOUR PARENTS FAILED. YOU FAILED.   Should Matt disclose or already has disclosed information he has come to know either by our interactions at CMDI or  that he has come to know by extenuating circumstances add 20 million. Should CMDI and its constituents. This includes Matt and Raven use this suit as a utensil for further damage to my reputation this means private chats and or conversation or acts that I cannot see but happened on company property or between people via any form of communication that work for CMDI add 25 million. In fact offering free of penalty and or money for people who speak of behavior directly after receiving the complaint. PJTV remove video and print an apology. Via video or print media. Should both (Raven Scott or Matthew Orr) decide to leave CMDI in a form of retaliation damages become 50 million automatically. Should Raven and Matt or any constituent of CMDI  and Matt choose to pursue a romantic relationship or Raven and Matt decide they'd like to get married or that it may be an option in the future 60 million automatically. See Relief 1. Matt Change his whole name. Will deduct. 1.00  Mandatory. Maybe  Denise ASSBOY. (take off 10 percent of jail time) (Preferable and Highly Recommended) I will deduct 3 million for the immediate firing of Raven Scott. No severance package. No References (Preferable and highly recommended) OR I will deduct 1 million for the dismissal of Matthew Orr. No Severance pay No References I will deduct 500,000 to be present at the dismissal and a song of my choice be played while she exits. I will deduct 100,000 for Matt to adlib to that song. I will deduct 300,000 for an admission of GUILT from Raven I will deduct 600, 000 for an admission of GUILT from CMDI and Raven. And deduct 30 percent of Jail time for Bruce Pechacek. I will deduct 500,000 and/or 2 percent of jail time to physically hog luey spit in MATTS FACE while all of CMDI watches and police are present    Dead Serious My name real or imagined should not be passed around or given to people unless it Is on a mandatory need to know basis. Like a hired lawyer. Add 10 million if Raven sent the list around and its not deleted when 2 years ago it was requested it be deleted. Requesting Raven DESTROY the list along with send her rceipients a letter I will type. And Add her name to. Adding monetary damages for GOOGLE AND HP acting criminally on CMDIS behalf I have IC3 report detailing criminal activity on my computer. If any part of my complaint is missing it will be redrafted and sent to the courts. I am resending shit to cmdi OR Paying over and over again to have them served. Things disappear from my complaint and it’s been saved. I am pursuing criminal charges and a civil suit against HP and Gmail when I have time. Due to the criminal nature of this situation I  am requesting  these considerations still be provided without deductions as previously requested.  They should be automatically included as PROOF of the company’s guilt and repentance by both CMDI and or Raven. The only consideration that will be VALID with an investigation and jail time is the admission of guilt and the last three considerations. . I'm gamed. I'll buy THE napkins. OOPS want BRUCE to buy them. And buy Matt a bib. Pink.  Deduct 100,000 and/or 1 percent of jail time.  I am looking to file criminal charges and or an investigation be done along with a suit for financial damages.  Among the charges I am looking to pursue is conspiracy, cybercrime—to include criminal harassment and cyber bullying  with the intention to cause mental and emotional distress and harm, and lastly possibly Attempted Murder. I am seeking criminal charges for Raven Scott, Matthew Orr and Bruce Pechacek and the people involved in the making of  the PJTV and the creators of the video. àLet me expound on the video. I sent Matthew Orr an email after I read tweets that I am nearly certain were related to the email I sent Raven an email as a manager at CMDI should not have been spread around no matter what it contained. Secondly if you are assuming the email is concerning in nature. Teyonna whats wrong? and you dont email me and say hey what’s going on? BUT you send it to other people close to me or people you know will cause emotional distress and then you complain to Matt about the emails. But you are not emailing or contacting me. You cannot complain about being emailed but then dont tell me you'd rather not be contacted.  I’m assuming based off the tweets in Matts profile someone was complaining.  And Matt was insulting in nature to me about it on twitter.  Which is when I emailed his job and said if the tweets dont stop Im suing. I felt bad a few weeks later and apologized because one I was not certain he had contact with CMDI but I was nearly certain and secondly I wasn’t sure if his twitter was officially work related. Or if he just added his job on his own accord.  . Matt put his picture up to try and cover for Raven. He wanted a reaction out of me so he could cover for her. He never received an email. So much for that.  Matt was not contacted. Raven wants the emails to continue so that she can embarrass me.  Matt calls himself being irritated but RAVEN told you things you should not have known. So if you are angry it should be with HER. Not that I care of your feelings. The video shows how reckless you are. The fact that you created a video to tell the whole world something of a personal nature and to attempt to humiliate me is fucking you owe me your life. That's a job. A business plaform. People need to look up the definition of professional. And FYI I'm certain none have the authority or track record to be commenting or for it to have any VALIDITY on why they are shunning marriage. Who gives a fuck why unsavory characters and criminals are shunning marriage?  Jail Cell so the next chick can skip the fucking embarrassment.  Overdressed criminals. And they have platforms.   Can women add why THEY are shunning marriage? EXACT PROOF. DISGUST. Had it. And I do mean a weird email. Turned it on themselves. Hilarious.  See what happens when PARENTS FAIL.   YOUR next video when you get out of JAIL. SAY nothing. Your best option that qualifies you as a good person. Is my wife okay? Raven sit you’re ho ass down. FAIL TWICE. Please don’t send me emails that have nothing to do with me especially when you got them because you work somewhere.  Excuse me babysit somewhere. EXAMINE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN AND get back to me. SLOW crazy and worth my cycle wipes. SMH   FUCKING DISGUSTING. Just add Ravens name when the guy underhandedly tapped Raven by asking who would you marry?   Come clean. I'm adding 20 million. You've really lost your mind.  And they are taking Shots like they know me at all. Ooh and I love this My boards while accidently exposed publicly. Negates your ENTIRE existence. CRIMINALS. Not talking to me. Kill yourself. Disgusted. I don’t see shit. Old ass ------- WHO know SHIT. Close your fucking MOUTH. Sitting with someone who knows of me and should understand precisely what happened and why.  So what disease does MATT and his constituents have. I have to sue you. Either you're a criminal fit for a jail cell or you're batshit crazy. Probably both.  Raven and Matt and CMDI need to learn there are consequences to ACTIONS. There really Are. Im sorry people have been setting you up  to believe there are not BUT THERE most certainly are CONSEQUENCES fucking with me and my LIFE. They set you ALL the way the FUCK UP. IM not letting SHIT GO.  YOU have me all the way FUCKED UP.  FUCKING SAD. FUCKING WHY. FUCKING WHY. DISGUSTED. See what jealousy DOES. I don’t give a fuck if the whole world surrounds you.  YOU ARE FUCKING TRASH. SHIT PAPER. SCOTT. Stop PLAYING WITH ME WHORE. See why we are still having a discussion. I DO NOT WANT TO BE LOVED BY THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU.  FUCKING 3 stooges multiplied. YOU ALL NEED FUCKING help. Its called ACT in a civilized way and protect you and yours not make it your lifes work to interfere in OTHERS peoples LIVES. How do you sleep at night Not fucking wake up screaming in FEAR. FUCKING DISGUSTED. WhY THE FUCK do I know any OF YOU. GREAT FUCKING PRETENDERS.  I KNOW CRIMINALS. I didn’t know that till 2014. EWWW. You all should have come with a fucking WARNING. Bitch you DISGUST ME. We will never get the face to face BUT BITCH YOU BETTR BE GLAD im not a FIGHTER. I don’t do VIOLENCE. It would have been me and you and You would not be walking AWAY. Youd be a bloddy mess needing an AMBULANCE. THANK YOUR LUCKY fucking stars whore. STOP PLAYING WITH Me.  REALY. Your insignificant., A FUCKING ANT. KILL YOURSELF NOW WHORE.   ß- I am also looking for jail time for any other person that has had motivating significant and or exemplary part in the scheme and it is unknown. I am seeking an admission of guilt along with a record for conspiracy for those wearing black in the second picture profile. This may turn into jail time if I become aware of the extent of their actions and their attitudes.  But one has to view the entirety of the profile and its participant to come to any valid conclusions.  In exchange for financial damages I will consider John Simms a mole.   Both picture profiles which I have saved to my email prove as clear and precise proof of these crimes. Supporting Documents. This is the color of the top part of MY Dress or its equivalent. Maybe a shade or so lighter. *. I wore yellow three times while at CMDI the first time a yellow mustard the second time was the exact color of Raven s jacket in the profile it was a yellow and black shirt and the last one was at the Christmas party. Every time I wore yellow an important ROMANTIC event happened with shit ball. Its not a romantic anecdote. Wild animals don’t deserve names.  Also I was first to wear red and black. My first time working there I wore a red dress and black tights. I was first and Only with everything Raven wants to compete with her mother. Does not realize she cannot have sex with her father. Wants to imitate mommy. Its sad. I also wore a black and red costume on Halloween in 2007. I was a vampiress.  And a burgundy costume in 2008 I was noble heiress.  The color game is on point. Take a seat. Dismissed. You have to be a child when we are dealing with children.                     Im going to add here that my first emails to CMDI were cordial and professional. They became vulgar volatile and aggressive when not only did things around where I live including large group of men late at night and its in a nice neighborhood and strangers behaving oddly start to happen In fact there was a woman named Teyonna who was a stranger but she made her name known to me. Noone knows about this suit but CMDI. That would be criminal harassment. Also I gave them an opportunity to say hey I see why you’re mad but this suit is off base Its incorrect. I am angry and I feel like the implication warrants my anger and destroying Ravens name with her colleagues If they had proof to the contrary of what it looks like Id agree not fair to show this to the public. But one Matt’s Video writes a story I don’t like. I could have publicized this without any reaction from CMDI. TOO MANY coincidences. Lastly I did offer CMDI an opportunity to clear themselves. I gave them a week to state their peace. It was not done in the nicest way possible but they didn’t deserve a nice way. Matt had no qualm about attempting to embarrass me AFTER I say do not contact me but didn’t step out of line to clear himself. To avoid a suit I have nothing more to say to anyone. Something if off upstairs. It must be true or your behavior is equal to that of a guilty party. It is no longer of my concern. You had an opportunity to handle things peacefully. Us having to go to court speaks to your criminal mindset. They Think that they don’t have to answer to people. You most certainly do and you most certainly will. Supplemental Documents (Brief History and In Depth view of Crimes and their effects) Working at CMDI previously I became privy of the atmosphere and climate of CMDI. Just speaking in terms of a business professional and working at CMDI you have about five different bosses sometimes telling you different conflicting things. This has no bearing on the case but just to give you an idea of their business style. There is Susan Floyd Office Manager. Raven Scott Caging Manager then different table representatives then select people they assign power for the day that work within the caging area or are other supervisors in other departments. Things change frequently but its easy to get 5 different stories and then get in trouble for putting into affect the wrong rule. I was never jealous of Raven but I secretly disliked her because not only did she have a  knack for trying  to turn sensitive things into public information and then turning personal information into joke time she is a manager which means she has access to personal information. Or has ways of learning sensitive personal information. Not just with me but other people  and this was early on before we became how shall we say cordial. I caught on early that Raven was either attempting to embarrass me either by using my brother that was a temporary employee for a short time or attempting to exaggerate or make a big deal out of minute mistakes or turning situations that were not of anyone’s concern INTO a big deal especially in front of Matt. In so many words she was trying to embarrass me in front of Matt. There were atleast two incidences if not more in which she did this.  A short while into working at CMDI I was taught scanning. I’m initially leery because it’s a big job and I’ve seen how this company reacts to mistakes while normal because no one likes being told they made a mistake it’s a mistake for a reason. Human error unforeseeable or avoidable in terms of they happen unexpectedly. I made my own errors im sure but there was one particular time Raven had scanned the day previous and I had scanned the day after which is the day the error was discovered. But it was a mistake from the previous day. Raven had pretty much told everyone It was my fault. I never said anything but Im 99 percent sure it was Ravens error and not mine.  To give you reasons why I secretly didn’t like Raven but put up with her. To Ravens credit she seems like she competes with everyone in terms of work even people who are there to do a job not compete with her. It’s annoying but that’s her personality. She puts words in peoples mouth and to be fair to other people its not logical. She’s a manager and she’s been there five years at that point. That’s a 6 year old competing with a 1 year old. You cant even logically measure the difference. Reading and writing  to crawling. To get to the pattern behavior which focuses more on the case.  My brother and his best friend worked there for a short time. All of us worked there for a brief time together. I left first then my brother was fired shortly after. I left due to CMDI’s hostile environment and their very clear attitude that you will be humiliated on the spot including and up to fired in front of top managers including the Ceo for making a mistake or working too slow and this is in the first few weeks of working there. I was coming around at the  point I left  but at the point this happened but the speed thing I had not entirely gotten down and Matt being there made an already possibly embarrassing situation worse. I had told them I was going to school and that was the plan after the fact but it was not the reason I left.  I really am not certain of the details surrounding why my brother and a few other people were fired. I don’t remember precisely why I just know it rubbed me the wrong way. But one thing I cannot and still cannot get over Is the fact that they fired a group of people together which included my brother but let his best friend stay. While I agree his best friend should have left just as a sign of solidarity and loyalty Raven’s personality is to divide people. Raven is a manager of a company. When you start saying things like divide and using work to embarrass or humiliate people it’s become a suit and a crime.  And I don’t mean people that have made friends at CMDI I mean family  best friends and to date husbands and wives. Raven does it purposefully.  Since it was Ravens decision and I’m already aware of Ravens personality.  I still lIked CMDI but It was not surprising information considering I didn’t like Raven for a reason. Before anyone starts the conversation it was not my idea to have my brother or his best friend hired.  It was a last minute thing brought on by an inquiry  by the company that the company was looking for new hires due to a heavy work load. That was just a back story before I get into the seriousness of the situation. I have emails attesting to the fact that I was in a mind frame that this could be talked out with Matt and that hopefully the complaint Is just a wort case scenario that would be proven wrong. I use to know these people so I had a hard time debating with myself and the extent of the facts I know. They contrast greatly but due to recent events and their behavior it gave me reason to believe this suit is valid.  But due to their unwilling to discuss anything or communicate I must assume that the facts presented in the complaint are true. I will agree the tone in my complaint became volatile but it speaks volumes that people WANT TO ARGUE and go through a court battle rather than communicate like adults. It also speaks volumes that CMDI and Matt know of who I am and our history despite events in 2015 and were able to shamelessly and ruthlessly attempt to humiliate and embarrass me without a second thought. I personally feel as though it takes a cold calculated individual to do things on this level without remorse to people they know. Matt’s unwllingness to talk ENRAGES ME because it implies they don’t feel as though they are wrong or that they are guilty parties. Ravens silence is whatever comes after enrages. A mass murderer is sitting there smiling like ANYTHING is funny and not talking like she has ANY power anywhere. You  are being sued and Im seeking jail time even if you have no sense or human decency SELF PRESERVATION should kick in. Sick and disgusting. I feel as though my anger is fair and it is warranted. It is a detour from my character but when people feel provoked or incensed I feel its fair to have it both ways. I’m angry but they do owe me an explaantion. They do owe me a reconciliation or a compromise of sorts. DID. At this point it’s a suit in which I make all the demands and they submit end of discussion including and up to jail time. At the time Matt and I met we were both young but I the youngest and naïve. Do not pull out the violin I say all this to make a point. I am nearly thirty and I cringe at half of my understanding of the world and my perception of life and men at 19 and 20. There’s a very good chance Matt and I wouldn’t be able to happen in any form  if we were to recreate CMDI events now. I am more aware and intelligent and abreast to the world and how people operate then I was at 19 and 20.  I am not as accessible.  And I didn’t think myself to be accessible then.  Matt and I were probably equal in terms of care free souls not thinking of the next moment or the next day. But something tangible did come from it whether planned or not.  This suit is not to bring up old things  to want something back or to control someone else. But I do feel as though I am owed respect and  dignity above all else if nothing else. Infact it irritates me that I had put CMDI and its events in a box on a shelf in a closet and now its like the elephant in the room.  A huge loud inconvenient uncomfortable embarrassing elephant in the middle of my living room that I did not put there. Not by my doing. I agree I must take part for the mishap in 2014  but that was a hiccup in  Ravens cold. That picture profile was up before so if CMDI is insinuating what I think they are insinuating It would then be equal to a symptom of the cold. I will not lie to you about it I find it hard to believe when I read back the complaint. So this company I liked and secretly adored because it’s where I met Matt went out their way to create a picture profile to steal my husband away from me or to put ideas in his head? It sounds all kind of Matrix and fantasy land Who behaves like that? And why would these people want to hurt me?  But that is the way it appears without much work. And these people are unwilling to communicate it paints an all too clear picture. And then the fucking kicker. A second hurricane is coming right after the first one left and left a devastation and it’s the same place. Have not had a chance to recover or  rebuild. My husband has feelings for my sister and he is siding with the woman out to hurt me. Who started the choose game. When I was not aware there even needed to be a decision.  Raven is Matts Sister. Susan is his mother and Bruce is his father.  I was not aware a decision had to be made. But not only does he have to MAKE a  decision he Is choosing Raven and by default as a sign of loyalty to Raven he has to disown humiliate and mock his wife. What wife? No ring.  And to be clear me not being able to get through to Matt or him stonewalling me for sake of Raven means he’s aware of the emotional damage it will do to Raven by one talking with me two siding with me and though it would be well deserved its not going to happen. But this is to give you  proof Matt is aware of what emotional damage he has done. Knows the message  he has sent by siding with Raven and stone walling me but also refusing to leave her side because of the message it sends to her but he had no problem sending to me and I’m his wife.   There are so many avenues I want to discuss that I have thought about but I never have pen and paper ready when I connect dots perfectly. I will have to piece together my bad memory.  But first lets go with what  A company’s responsibility is. A company is a place of business. It a place by grand design that connect a lot of people of different walks of life The personal and professional lines sometimes get crossed  due to holidays and business functions but everyone is aware this is a place to conduct business. To be quite frank Ms. Susan and Raven’s personal tie and the for it  to be duplicated with the  CEO of the company adds to an already toxic work environment. I cannot speak on John Simms Son but I have met Raven and her behavior Is the direct result of getting something for nothing and a no consequences  environment. When she makes an error of great concern or she doesn’t like someone she has been given the power to fire people on the spot without great explanation or ANY explanation. In fact some leave with ruined reputations for doing nothing because Raven is jealous. She places over demanding and nearly impossible standards on people and then she she falls short of the expectation she expect from other people must be fired because she is embarrassed. Who Is going to fire Raven? Fucking Who?  To give you a prime example of her behavior She created an embarrassment wall and her name was the first to go up for making a mistake the group of people were fired a short while later. She creates these little games then embarrasses herself and make other people responsible for it. Raven has done probably atleast two fire worthy things when I knew her. This was icing on the cake and she should not have been around long enough to do the fucking finale of FUCK UPS and close CMDI because thats whats happening. She in one fell swoop is closing CMDI and she did not do it by herself Brue and John without a doubt helped. And Matt revved the engine. Nothing else will do. I cannot fathom  how any one is explaining to me how a company is involing itself in stealing my husband. One you have time? and isn’t Bruce Married? Does he have to some gay fantasy he wants to play out with Matt. It is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. A whole company  decided to turn criminal and steal my husband. Like If Bruces Wife Work. Let’s say there is a man there younger then him more attractive and the company has decided this younger guy at her job would be a better fit for this already married woman. And they start planning business trips for Bruce’s wife and this young guy on a regular basis. They call her by his name and when Bruce comes to visit shes never there or shes in younger guys office having sex Bruce just has no idea. Is MADLY in love suspects nothing. Believes the company. Just not here. Business Trip. A few month later website. Bruces wife and young guy in a suggestive pose. Trying to turn  Bruce off. His wife is in love and is trying to break the news to him. Which in his mind sparks a million different conversations about him that were blown out of proportion or exaggeration but ALL defamatory AND OF A personal nature.  Immediately angry..  Wife gets on line creating a video saying Bruce is old. She likes her men young and rich. Just makes it worse. A place of work has now become a fucking gossip rag during business hours and after hours and happy hour and dinner. The people that work for the company become untensils to steal Bruces life even seriously hurt him emotionally or otherwise.  The company becomes totally responsible for the nutjobs threatning to jump Bruce because in their paranoid delusional mind he is standing in the way of TRUE LOVE. He shouldn’t be upset she has moved on and the receptionist he was friendly with totally think shes upgraded because Bruce called her a whore on site for lying to him and throwing the flowers he sent his wife in the trash.  Perhaps maybe even the guy the company hired and his wife has fallen in love with wants to fight BRUCE. Cant stand the idea another MAN touching his girl like her HUSBAND. He doesn’t share. The company owes Bruce money at the very least.  People may have the idea that I created this company I can make my own rules and generally you can but since you are not working alone and you manage a number of people laws come into play. Like if you were to assault an employee it would be a crime.  This is equal to a brutal malicious attack on a ex employee and not only did you start with the website you recruited her ex husband to continue attacking me and to add to the emotional distress. There is a code of conduct that must be followed at work. There are things that have to be considered when managing so many people and sadly its equal to this whole company planned an assault on one person out the blue in the middle of the night and just kept assaulting her picture after picture event after event discussion after discussion dinner after dinner. Video after video and you all planned it for no good reason None.  It doesn’t speak to sane or decent people who should be allowed to walk the earth by themelves. And no one had the decency to say we all use to know this girl why do we want to see her hurt. Why does Matt want to see her hurt? Precisely  you had no valid reason other than jealousy and a secret desire to see someone you once saw prosper suffer and be humiliated with the guy she loves. I agree a silly backwards unlogical email not the coolest thing in the world. Not typical professional well put together Teyonna. But firstly that email in another life is worth a couple hundred dollars. A cool compilation of INFORMATION lets call it that. That’s Teyonnas worst day a COOL COMPILATION OF INTERESTING INFORMATION. A FUN GAME with drinks. In another life that’s what that email  IS EQUAL TO. It might be in this life depending on who you ask but as display of my character and professionalism I felt humiliated AFTER the fact. It was an uncontrollable event in my life Something that is not in my control otherwise it wouldn’t have happened and My husband cant be TOLD anything its grounds for excommunication AND marrying my sister. There was no concern there was no protectivness just I finally have a reason to be rid of her. And So we are clear I had one unfortunate event that embarrassed Matt. Raven is an embarrassment everyday she’s breathing and it was done on purpose sweetheart it’s not a competition. You don’t recognize expensive worthy good decent women when you see them Men like Matt see a penny in a trash and the light hits it right and he swears he’s found GOLD. It’s a penny in a trash can. And you dropped the check you just cashed bending over to find the penny in the TRASH CAN.  Matts in California started over. He could have been like nope left CMDI DRAMA over. No he went back and just DOVE IN. Dudes are dumb. All kinds of stupid but Matts actions matters because hes attempting to take me with him. All Kind of stupid and backwards. That’s what GREED does to people.  You are going to lose EVERYTHING trying to have EVERYTHING and leave with nothing A negative. Exactly. And I was aware Matt in some womens eyes at CMDI he was fucking gaston  in Beaty in the beast but I don’t do the desperate damsel in distress well and I don’t do one of I do only. Sadly I think he has control of  a lot if not ALL the women at CMDI if not of a romantic level a protective mother  level and its disgusting. Matts a MAN WHORE and that’s frowned upon out side of work but its fucking rephrenisnle and unprofessional in a work setting. If you go to a bar and talk to every chick in the room hoping to catch ones attention its one night. You are never going to see those women again That kind of behavior in a place of work is sickening demoralizing and unprofessional. It leads to situations like this. I m sorry It doesn’t  for SMART businesses. They REMOVE the problem. THIS company created its OWN laws and decided someone else would be better fit for MY HUSBAND and they were boldy unapologetic and unremoseful and unabashedly owning we are trying to sacrifice you.  RAVEN IS just BETTER. The younger dude is JUST better. Matt and Bruce will pass probably a thousand people in the street. People who are more attractive thinner and younger. Youre married THAT’S life you are not meant to know these women. He sees a broad wearing the same color of their wedding and Matt figures that’s my new wife or that’s who I was suppouse to marry 7 years later. No it means two things Matt is paranoid and Raven is jealous. Raven is bitch number 71 and decided to pick her out and make up a story do you know how many broads can throw on yellow  SMFH A man whore. Community Dick. End of Discussion.  I don’t have anything of value if Matt tells the WHOLE world including old women they can get him. EWWW.  And you YORSELF are getting older. Matts a fucking cherry on cookies. Out of place but covering for him. He can still hang. SMFH. Stick to your ice cream and call it a fucking day.  If your wife KNOWS of any of them you are fit for jail cell. Strangers you are not even suppouse to know of them And you are not that bright. Matt took it a step further My sister passed him in the house and he followed her to her room while I was sleep waiting for him to return to bed.  Yeah I was awake and I listened. Men are FUCKING DISGSUTING pathetic and loosing a few in the brain. ANYONE in the fucking WORLD AND only my sister will do. And Excuse the sister term I don’t fuck with RAVEN but those are the DAMAGES MATT AND CMDI owes me. Even if Matts a pathetic unworthy and fit for a  jail cell man it shouldn’t have been possible  but WOMEN don’t have self respect. Let Vernon and I DATE HAVE SEX OR GET married and see how fast the silly broad is in my face I don’t want Vernon. See who was jealous and just about lost her fucking MIND. If Vernon a few years after I leave CMDI tries to get with me im going to carry him and then email Raven and we haven’t spoke in years and make fun of him for her. Hand on the bible that’s how it would have gone.  And please tell CMDI and Matt its not as Romantic as you all make it to be Im 90 percent sure Raven initially was jealous because OMG a fat chick is shitting on my life and in two shakes its definitely me before HER and she knew Matt first. Raven is that pathetic sister who clings to her brother and get jealous at her brother dating and places doubt on the whole family. In another life Raven being jealous OF ME is equal to HER being gay. I only do men so she knows. Waste of Her fucking time. Bitch is disgusting. Is paying way too much attention to my fucking life Matt being the little ass bitch that he is fantasizes oh she was crazy about me. No some people are just sick. It’s sad.  As I said she is using MATT to get to me It has or had very little to do with him. Bitches are insecure and jealous. Im far from naïve Im sure Raven likes that the situation is reversed now to the tenth power Like the fact that Matt would rather go to jail then to talk to me. And don’t mistake me he’s doing me a favor. Money in comparison to a twenty minute two hour conversation with Matt. My time is valuable just like his. That would make two fit for jail cells their behavior is equal to  two strangers kidnapped me and they want to see me suffer. Its sick and not sane. It borders on deranged and a twisted mind. I give a fuck what anyone is doing AT any given time of day exceptions are spouses and children. These are strangers. They enjoy seeing someone off the street suffer. Not only is their suffering CREATED meaning I shouldn’t be chained to a wall. Its speaks of a sick mind if I say Nothing happened here if you let me GO RIGHT NOW, We are in a bunch of woods you go your way I go my way. I wont remember your face or have time to get to safety and follow you at the same time. You have my word. Matt puts on his rings then punches  me.  I don’t want to go home I don’t want to be free. I want  to see TWO   DIE horrible deaths. INSANE. Two are emotionally and mentally disturbed. My life should have nothing to do with yours Noone was made to suffer for you.  Paranoid individuals. And what’s even sadder these are not strangers my husband and my sister. I now believe in the death penalty. I agree it’s a little bit of a gray area. Matt And Raven did not pull guns on me poison my food booby trap my hose or put a bomb in my car but there is such a thing as provocation emotional control and a  very real thing such as manipulation  harassment and praying on the already vulnerable and weak. I am a unusually strong person I pride myself on having self control and being controlled in ever changing environments and around different personalities. It is something I have nearly mastered. In my opinion it is a must have skill in  the world we live in now. It took me a while to put together I SHOULD BE ANGRY Raven is wearing yelling on a platform. I should NOT apologize at irritation and anger when I hear a song or see a video and she pops up in my mind. THAT IS NORMAL. I should be UPSET. People need to see that IM UPSET.  I usually do not show people im upset it’s a weapon criminals and assholes use to control good people. But this is one of those times painting a mask of indifference or staying silent gives criminals the go ahead to steal my Life. Raven picked on me purposefully because sometimes other women see heavier women as insecure or weak. Its’s just not true in my case. Im a very confident woman  probably to my detriment. And im still not complaining Noone knows But I didn’t see ANYTHING at CMDI. I felt like a MILLION bucks leaving CMDI. I still don’t see anything. Raven is my inferior. Shes putting  ANY kind of words in my mouth is a fucking crime.  We are not friends I DIDN’T care she was breathing.  Id email to say hi to Ms. Susan before Raven Hell it would be Ms. Jackie before Raven September BRUCE and Ive said said two words to the man. I say praying on the weak and vulnerable without pause because any PERSON in love becomes  an old man in a wheelchair. And I like to think being in love make females more fragile because women are taught to be the submissive in romantic couplings. Women are taught one and only men are taught to have a line up. Anyone in love is a fragile person. But It is not an exaggeration to think if a woman loses her husband she loses half of herself. Whether by death or divorce. But this situation goes to a whole new level. We didn’t fight and break up. I was fighting cancer. And My husband and my sister turned cancer into a joke and my husband is sure he married the wrong sister Is irreversibly angry and my sister whom is making fun of my bald head and everything that comes with CANCER smiles at the idea that she has stolen my husband in my time of need and he doesn’t care if I die. Matt is praying I die. Its frees him from guilt and allows him to without shame or guilt marry my sister. Is not interested in the event in which made their path cross again. Or how tacky  it is that while you are irritated at the event you are going to expound on my suffering to flirt romance MY sister. Im on a hospital bed throwing up and Raven and Matt are in the bathroom flirting. DID you see how she looked throwing up?  Batshit.  Are attempting to eradicate any trace of me from your life. Which sadly is impossible.  Wedding photos. Our color is yellow and yellow is going no where. Is a primary color. And will be till the end of time And to top it off the company we met is involved. Is sure Matt Married the wrong sister. So they are going to mock a serious illness even harass me to the point of death or feeling like. ALL of me IS gone. Not just half my ENTIRE LIFE. And I have to clarify because me being sick was equal to the flu. I was not near death because of the flu but why didnt my husband come and bring me cold medicine Why didnt he email and say I hope you feel better. Why is he telling me in so many words to kill myself and its just the fucking flu. I didn’t ask for the cold. HAD NO control over the symptoms. WHY  is he SO ANGRY. Why is he on platforms saying he doesn’t fuck with girls who have colds.  Making me over like my whole LIFE has been in bed coughing  throwing up and ONLY drinking orange juice.  It is a flue that will go away he turned me into a FUCKING Scarlett letter over something temporary and passing. I don’t have anything to live for.  To be fair I CANNOT even say made their paths cross. I didn’t email Matt. Who knows what would have happened if Raven didn’t email Matt. There are a lot of what ifs but we are in court they don’t matter. This has happened It is the end all be all. And so we are clear IT shouldn’t have been possible. These are two companies. And you would think CMDI has met two members of my family and it didn’t not motive them to act appropriately in a legal manner. It SPEAKS VOLUMES. And to top it off Matt has met my brother his best friend.  Sadly my family Is neither here nor there but this is AFTER THE fact and sadly I could add damages CMDI behavior as a catalyst for my family’s behavior PRESS for crackers. I got them their jobs. I am a white person. Sad and disgusting and CMDI is full of  BLACK white people.  We are in a court room. Gave you  proof.  Criminals. Ravens and Matts behavior is equal to they robbed a bank for 10 million dollars but they got caught at the fucking rite aid around the corner spending 5.00 of the 10 million. It wasn’t worth it. It means nothing sadly husbands cheat on their WIVES all the time. Their mistress or mistresses in Matts case.  It means nothing.  Everyone loves the idea of 10 million dollars but All of the world knows its jail time and a crime and I don’t want to be in a bank when it happens.  Solves that problem not my money I’m never robbing a  bank. I like my freedom.  What Raven and Matt did was plan a robbery. And CMDI and Pjtv Helped. It’s crazy. And sadly men turn sacred vowel and marriages into TRASH. A fucking game in whose going to kill each other first. Its not adult or sane behavior.  I don’t allow boys to play those game with me. Whores like Raven give men the idea they are toys that can be played over. Not in this life. There is one woman per man. There are not side chicks. Vacation chicks and business trip chicks. It’s sickening and disgusting. Please ask Matt how many whore there are. Bitch I need five more hands. I don’t want him I want the money. Damages. Putting words in my mouth. Matt is a man whore he’s fucking confused. There were so many females even if Matt ignores me Raven has to compete with fucking 20 other bitches to prove its only her How many are still looking his stupid ass up. Its sad and disgusting. And let me make it clear I am aware Matt was a flirt but I  OWN IT BOTH times I work there. Matt pursued me. End of discussion. Everyone saw or became interested in who I was based on his behavior and be default my response to him. Everyone knew. Wrote my fucking check. I cannot lie I am perplexed by everyone’s behavior but especially Matt’s. I was never expecting or waiting for anything to happen after moving to South Carolina. Matt and I hadn’t talked in years and logically Matts in a whole other state. But in my mind Matt was always going to be special to me. I never really had to see him again. He could marry whomever he pleases outside of CMDI but he was always going to be the dude I tripped in mud and im not helping up.   Im not going to go into detail but if you were there this all seems like the impossible has happened. People do get divorced. People do turn.  But its still crazy not possible on this side of town. My side of town. You would have to cross out the teachers circled answered to get the test wrong and Matt crossed everything out and put his answer. Failed the test. Astonished. Amazed.  So either you’re dumb. You don’t care. Or you are purposefully trying to hurt me. And before this suit I haven’t done anything worthy of you being mad enough to want to hurt me.  Matt and I have never been married. Its is a loose metaphor but it feels precisely like that some days.  Raven picked out our wedding colors ordained our wedding and booked our hotel. Thank her for your misery. To the world to matt Teyonna is over him. Does not have feelings. Has forgotten Matt existed. In Teyonnas room in Teyonnas fantasies and in her mind. I was thinking about him. The light on some dark nights. That’s a lot of people who have ever been in love. Its not a crime and its no one business. I wasn’t pursuing Matt for a relationship. What Raven did was take me hostage and if emotions were tangible touchable things she’s excruciatingly and tortuously removed them and had Matt finish it off all the while taunting me. I don’t know if anyone knows whats it’s like to feel alive. Not realize you didn’t feel alive until you feel alive. But I feel the opposite of that. Numb. there is a wall. And Im a happy person. I didn’t do anything to anyone. I didn’t deserve it. You owe me damages. I did not understand crime or how someone could commit violent acts or crime till now as naïve as that sounds and it was a good thing. Me understanding how someone can commit a violent act not only irritates me it immediately recalls CMDI and its events. Its going to perplex me until the end of time a WHOLE company gave their life away over two fucking trash cans and half these people married. Disgusted. Criminals know all about crime and do not care that they see how it can be done. I liked being naïve to the world of crime. I shouldn’t call it naïve, In a perfect world I am right crime should not exist. People don’t have common sense.  The ONLY reason I understand is via a crime that someone kidnapped and made me watch. These people should not be allowed to walk the earth. They have victimized someone over and over again and feel no remorse. It’s disgusting.  I do know you owe me money for that alone. The smallest thing can set me off into Rage. Before this I don’t get past UPSET. There’s mad then angry then rage. Rage is usually where I am every other day just thinking of Matt Raven and CMDI. Kid you not. Hand on the bible IF Matt and I were married I would plan their deaths and feel no remorse. It has crossed my mind a time or two but that’s giving myself away for something criminal. Something I have nothing to do with. I become a police officer at that point. I want to see them grovel in pain then do it again until Im satisfied. Until their bodies lay lifeless and bloody. Something is wrong with people. Sick demented and crazy. Money cannot buy happiness. It Is not what is important to me in this life. Criminals put words in my mouth and decide to exchange it for worthless bullshit like money. Something  that is a facilillator of life not a sustainer of life. I have to fight for  the humiliation clause taking your company. Taking your freedom. Money means something to them. Love and loyalty means something to me.  I have never brought the cheating on husband and wives as normal behavior even before I came to CMDI. It tells you in vowels its an everlasting union. Never. Men are everyday murderers without guilt or remorse. Its fucking disgusting. I was right and I find out in vivid color and Ive never said I DO. You take my shit I take your shit. End of Complaint. Please note CMDI has been email a copy of this complaint. This complaint has been updated and they will be served by a marshal. The color of the top of my dress at the Christmas party in 2008.

Note to Judges/Courts.. I am requesting a court date in DECEMBER 2017 to prepare attorney fees and my case.

[spaltcode-blog]

Let’s load an asset

Last time, we left Mario adventuring throughout the Mushroom Kingdom of Asset Dependencies, jumping off the heads of Koopas and loading up files. We looked at what it happens when a file is getting loaded in a more simple abstraction. But what is happening under the hood of this monolithic method? Seriously, every clean code part of me cringes when I pry open the disgustingly long method called #load_from_unloaded.

So, now that Mario has grown big and continues down the path to the next castle he jumps into another mysterious tube. TIME TO COLLECT SOME COINS! Let’s take a look at metadata.

When loading a file for the first time, `#load_from_unloaded` does a lot of work with a lot of checks. We are going to hold the B button and shoot some fireballs at Conditional Koopas to preemptively make up for lost time.

1. Check that the file can be found

2. If the manifest is using the fancy index aliasing find the path by expanding from the root

3. After splitting the path into two variables, if the load_path is nil then that means Sprockets has searched as far as it can and didn’t find the file it needs and throws an error

4. Assign some variables for type checking later, notice the mysterious `mime_exts` method.

5. If there is a pipeline, append it to the logical_path string for later processing (literally though it will make its way through this same method again)

6. And now let go of the B button for the delicate hidden block

The reason I call the mime_types a ‘hidden block’ (nothing to do with procs) is because there is so much happening around this gargantuan method, it is easy to miss one of the most interesting acrobatics of sprockets.

When sprockets assigns the extname and file_type it is calling a method that is a list of all the extensions and what that mime type is. Originally used for HTTP requests, mime types are a standardized way of declaring file types. Each mime type will have a type (application, text, image) and subtype (ruby, css, gif). When assigning the variables on line 120 `match_path_extname` is doing some surprisingly rudimentary Ruby to return the values. Some of the real work is simply using the massive hash to find the key value pairs from `mime_exts` which currently returns 81 pairs in vanilla Sprockets, check out how some of them are assigned.

But we have another reference to mime_types. We want to check that there is a type and if so, append the file extension to the logical path. So, in the case of a vanilla Rails view like some_file.html.erb the logic would work like this. As an unloaded asset, some_file.html.erb, would return `{:type=>"application/html+ruby"}`. Thus when config[:mime_types][type] is called it will find the mime type and an array of the extensions to use for it. In this method it will always use the first extension even though there are some that could use multiple different extensions to process the file (‘text.erb’ v ‘txt.erb’).

Let us continue into the next error check where Sprockets will check if the type is the same file_type from earlier and that there is even a transformer to convert that file type configuration.

If you are unfamiliar with transformers that’s okay, they are a concept unique to Sprockets in these lines. Here are the docs.

If this check passes we can continue along to where the method ‘should’ end (if not earlier) according to clean code principles, but that’s a topic for another day. Let’s assume we hit the flag at the end of our Mario level (oh yeah, we are still using Mario as an analogy) and continue to our next level.

We are going to assign some processors for the file types we have been using so far, the pipeline argument is another internal concept to Sprockets and if it is nil that simply means the default pipeline being used. If you want to register your own pipeline look into extending sprockets.

Now the big method, the whole reason we made all the above checks and assigned those variables. Sprockets needs to define processors for the unloaded asset. Processors can either be a transformer like mentioned earlier, or they can be a DirectiveProcessor object which is responsible for handling index aliasing and different parts of the require family.

These processors will be joined together into the dependencies for the asset dependencies later. But what’s going on with `build_processors_uri`? This will return a string that could look something like this ‘processors:type=text/css&file_type=text/css’. This string will get appended for the asset cache to resolve later, but that happening next depends on the next check.

If there are any processors it will call the processors and store the result. When these processors are called it will add them in reverse order and then merge the results before continuing (I’m kind of brushing over this here, but these processors will have to be a topic for another day). From here there is another check to ensure that the result is a hash along with a few other checks. If this passes then metadata becomes the result variable with a few more keys/value pairs.

On the flip side of the check to see if there are any processors, the dependencies array has the processor string (something that may look like ‘processors:type=text/css&file_type=text/css’) appended to it and adds the metadata attributes. This records the dependencies so that the file can continue to be loaded into the cache. To see how that happens we need to refer to the last few lines of this behemoth method.

First, let’s finally return to Mario because I don’t know how what happened to that analogy for the last few paragraphs. Second, let’s create a hash labeled as the asset. This asset is kind of like the Baby Bowser in a castle. Mario storms in and has to jump on the Bowser’s head a few times and then catch some mystical flute… thing (In Super Mario Bros. 3 at least). After storing an id, which is a hexidigest of the asset hash (jump 1), and then storing a uri based on the filename, path, processor, and id (jump 2). We finally catch the flute, or maybe scepter, and `#store_asset` (jump 3).

I want to point out a very important aspect to you. Yes, we did all that to load an asset dependency. Just so the big method can get all recursive on us and start from the top again on the next file. Or in other words, the Princess is in another castle…

Reflecting on this deep dive I was a little critical of how the code was implemented, and I stand by that criticism since a lot of what is happening is somewhat unclear. But according to one of the maintainers for the repo it was 70%+ written by one person who tightly coupled everything for a high performing, simple, and powerful solution. So there may be an arguable excuse, and I also don’t see myself attempting to fix it anytime soon, I’ve got too many of my own projects. Besides that same maintainer admits that he has been defeated many times trying to abstract and tease out some of the methods, but Sprockets is very resistant to refactoring. Hope you learned something here. And thanks to Richard Schneeman for helping me understand Sprockets through his own blog post.

[roinish]

This is a long post, but deserving so. I shouldn't discount this whole ordeal with a simple, short paragraph but if you don't have time to spare, simply scroll to the bottom and read the last paragraph. Otherwise, grab some popcorn and continue along!My lady and I were fresh, young graduates out of college and obtained a pair of matching, platinum rings around the year 2004 in San Diego, originally intending for the rings to be promise rings. She made a promise of eternal love or inseparable souls or something. I made a more tangible promise, to make her mashed potatoes. We had our initials engraved within the interior face of the rings, alongside a phrase known only between the two of us. It was one of the momentous times of our maturing relationship. At least for me, my ring held a lot of sentimental value. Although the ring did not grant me any special powers, I was practically Gollum from Lord of the Rings, completely possessed by this ring. It possessed considerable weight at approximately nine gummy bears or four pennies. Its weight made it obvious whenever my ring was not present on my hand.Two years later during the summer of 2006, my lady, my two dachshunds, and I embarked on a 2,700 miles drive away to Ithaca, NY, where I began graduate schooling at Cornell University. There was a large, departmental gathering at the Cornell Recreation Connection (CRC) Park, spanning a vast area of 144 acres, or about 63,000 square feet, which was damp from recent thunderstorms (do a Google Maps search for "Cornell Recreation Connection Park". That is about 10% bigger than a football field, with both end zones included. The hundreds of professors, post-docs, students, and family members and dogs all ran around, played catch, Frisbee, volleyball, soccer, and other debaucheries.I played some Frisbee, played fetch with my dogs, threw some footballs around, and above all, was pressured to partake in a roughly 20 versus 20 tug-o-war battle. I last played tug-o-war in kindergarten, perhaps even earlier. This time around, it was full of drunken adults, using an inch diameter braided rope, and a lot of mud. At first, I did not join in, but my incoming frosh class of dozen students yelped for me to join as they were getting slowly beaten by the sophomore class of a dozen students. I joined in at the last minute but our futile writhing could not prevent us from being dragged across the sodden turf and losing.Almost immediately after the tug-o-war game, I realized that my ring was missing. At first, I immediately thought that I might have left it at home, maybe after taking it off for doing some kind of strenuous work that could seriously chip or scratch the ring. However, I doubted that because I knew that I never do any strenuous work and additionally, I never take my ring off for any reason. My lady was incredulous that I likely lost my ring. She was probably upset about the foreboding, superstitious ramifications of a lost promise ring. Maybe it was an omen that our relationship would not work out in the long-term. She was extra upset regarding the circumstances that I may have lost my ring playing (and losing) a match of tug-o-war. If I lost the ring along with my hand by deflecting a small meteoroid heading towards my lady and my two dogs, she might have been okay with that.I started looking for the ring, scouring the grassy fields and particularly focusing around the area of the tug-o-war match where I assumed my death grips against the braided rope aided in the deft slippage of the ring off of my finger. My colleagues and classmates also jumped in to help as well. We could not find the ring that day, but I came back the next day, next weekend, and several weekends after that. Every trip was fruitless, even after coming back with the most expensive metal detector I could rent. I began to question whether someone else found and pocketed the ring already. Alternatively, maybe I lost it elsewhere in the city of Ithaca, say, perhaps opening the door of my car in some gravel parking lot or maybe it was lost at home. I searched all areas in questions but still to no avail. After a few months, I simply gave up and considered the ring permanently gone. I was incredibly sad. I went from looking like Gollum to looking like Yoda. Distraught, I was.Every once in a while I would do some Google searches for the ring, using keywords such as our initials. I contacted the Cornell police station lost and found department sporadically, as well. Fast-forward ten years later with three kids, one less dog (RIP, Dookie) to the summer of 2016, long after I moved back to California. I only ever mentioned my lost ring to a handful of friends and colleagues, particularly only when the conversation broached the topics of rings or long-lost items of sentimental value. During one such conversation, my coworker, Jerald (aka Jer Bear) informed me of something he remembered reading on Reddit (LifeProTips, ironically), about a network called The Ring Finders (theringfinders.com), comprised of retirees devoted to the hobby of metal detecting. Initially, I only casually considered this option as I thought that few would take interest in pursuing a search for my ring, given the length of time it was lost. I later took renewed interest in the network after additional goading from my coworker. At first, the closest Ring Finder member was an hour drive away from the likely location of the lost ring and so my hopes further dimmed. However, this particular member, H. Connell Raate, was a retiree with no timely obligations and he gladly accepted my request to look for the ring. Another reason I thought the whole endeavor could be fruitless was that the CRC Park is technically private property but amazingly, the events coordinator of Cornell University, Cheryl McGraw, gladly permitted Connell to search the premises for the ring and sent him the keys to the gates of the park.In his first attempt in finding the ring, he searched roughly half of the questionable area, only to yield numerous bottle caps, snap can tops, and pieces of aluminum foil. He told me he ran out of battery juice – and not his metal detectors’ batteries. It was not easy to look for the ring under the relentless heat and humidity of a summer sun. He gave it another attempt a week later, this time covering a more extensive area. He showed me pictures of his metal scrap bounty and also how he thoroughly combed the entire field, pocked with little poles to mark his multiple search grids. This second attempt yielded a successful find of a ring; however, it was miraculously someone else’s long-lost, wire ring. Connell wrote off my ring for good and I was at least relieved for receiving some bit of closure on the ring, and that if an expert metal detector aficionado could not find the ring, that ring was certainly not confined within that area. He said I either did not lose the ring in the area or that somebody else found the ring and pawned it. I wrote him a sweet thank you card and a check to compensate him for both his gas and time.Fall came, and then winter passed. Out of the blue, Connell sent me an email telling me that he has been continuously irked that he could not find my ring. He wanted to give it a third and final try, this time with multiple tweaks to his metal detectors to target rare metals like platinum. He also held optimism that the compacted, wet soil from the thawed snow may facilitate metal detection. I originally did not want to waste any more of his time but I eventually realized that metal detecting is a serious hobby of his and he told me that my lost ring became his personal mission. I acquiesced, and he told he would immediately resume his search once the snow melts. Given the notorious winter snow of Ithaca, this could mean as late as May!Then, on April 3rd, I received an email from Connell with the subject titled, “I found the ring !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I picked up my jaw from the floor, opened the email, and then just threw both arms into the air like an NFL field judge referee after a field goal. I was at work at the time, surrounded by a dozen others, but I did not care. Then I got up and ran out of the office building and made a phone call to my lady. She was in disbelief. Connell shipped the ring to me immediately, and I have resumed being possessed by the ring like Gollum. I have also resumed making my lady mashed potatoes - all kinds of varietals like with chives, bacon, cheese, russet or Idaho or Yukon potatoes, red potatoes, skins on or off, truffle salt, pepper, with buttermilk, or milk, or heavy cream, you name it. A promise is a promise.This ordeal has been completely NUTS! In summary, TLDR: 1) Lost ring in huge field and gave up entirely. 2) 11 years passed by. 3) Contacted retiree to help look for ring, who lives an hour away, and he agreed. 4) He failed twice, certain it was not lost there or someone else picked it up. 5) Half a year later, he wanted to give it one last try, thinking the wet dirt from the snow melt will help in metal detection. 6) He found the ring, and it looked the same as 11 years before! 7) My faith in good humanity became stronger, the opposite of the feeling you get when going to a California DMV office.Thank you, Connell, KevinEDIT: the first LPT post that my coworker first found out about the network: http://ift.tt/2ptze5p: Connell, on his 3rd attempt in finding the ring, and ever so confident in finding it, decided to try out his new GoPro and recorded the find: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Svq7zAul9EU via /r/LifeProTips