#contemporaries i like but don't find to be my favorites ever

[mermaidsirennikita]

what do you think about booktok?

Meh. I think that it has pros and cons. I'm not super into it myself, and I've found that while some books hyped there work for me, some really don't. Often, the books that do work for me are books I read a billion years ago, pre BookTok.

Pros:

--trad authors often get a shoestring marketing budget, so low-budget marketing opportunities are important; obvi, self-pub'd authors are entirely self-funded

--more people reading is more people reading; I might wish that they read different things, but tbh that's hypocritical because I was a huge Twilight fan back in the day and everyone wished my teen self read "better books", when I was also reading the classics (some of which I read BECAUSE of Twilight, hello Wuthering Heights) and would eventually develop a much more mature palate, as teen readers tend to when they grow up

--there is something cool about older books getting a new lease on life; it might be annoying, but pre-social media, how common was it for a book to get a huge spike in sales 5+ years after it was published?

Cons:

--I do think that, as with many things TikTok, it's driven heavily by younger, white, often cishet women; of course this isn't the only BookTok voice, but I think this is the BookTok voice publishers will listen to more. This means, for romance at least, the promotion of books they think will appeal to a young, white, cishet female audience. Sorry queer poc, sorry people over 30! This isn't an issue BookTok invented, but it's one BookTok pushes.

--Another issue with that young voice being the only one listened to is that it narrows down the.... scope... of expectations. You see this a lot with Spicy BookTok. The Love Hypothesis, a book I really liked, was promoted as the ~spiciest thing ever~. It has one (admittedly long and good, that's what she said) sex scene. One. I can't help but feel like the 17 year old promoting this as the HOTTEST BOOK EVER may not have a lot of experience in reading hot books! Why would she?

The narrowness of this audience also means there's a morality echo chamber. Smaller BookTokers can promote dark romance, or older "problematic" series like Immortals After Dark, 80s historicals, and escape notice. But if one big BookToker with a morality complex finds them, they can put them on blast and make them out to be a creep, an abuse apologist (lol see: everyone dogpiling on Darklinas on BookTok), whatever. This is an issue on Twitter as well, of course, and it's certainly been an issue HERE, but because BookTok is dominated by a generation that has been trained to perform their morality at the top of their lungs, I think it can be... even more deafening? Like, if someone made a video saying that I'm okay with domestic abuse because I love Kresley Cole's Lothaire, and it got millions of views, it could be? Hard?

... and if that does happen, I spoke it into existence, but I would hope that they're occupied with more recent controversial books. That's the weird thing about BookTok, though. Someone can dredge up a book published in 1987 and go "I CANNOT BELIEEEEVE HOW PROBLEMATIC THIS IS HOW WAS THIS PUBLISHED" and everyone will seal clap in shock like the answer isn't "it was 1987". The format of TikTok just doesn't allow for or prompt a lot of introspection and analysis.

--TikTok is a heavily censored platform. This affects romance novels the most. Dark romance is hard to promote on TikTok (and when it is there's often a shitstorm). But so is... any romance with explicit sex, unless you go along with TikTok's sex-shaming, puritanical guidelines. So we have spice, "seggs", the censorship surrounding discussion of very serious issues like drug addiction, suicide, and so on. It's not just that it sounds stupid. It's that it puts these issues into a secret "taboo" space that I find deeply unhealthy.

That doesn't just affect romance--it affects romance strongly, but imo you can't have a good discussion about a book like Daisy Jones and The Six (a book where drug usage is a focal point) on BookTok.

--I do think BookTok promotes very surface level readings. People want to be a part of something, so they pretend they liked a book they didn't, maybe even pretend to read a book they didn't. It's quite shallow. Not every book needs to be picked apart, but I think that BookTok is less reading and more fandom, but it's being treated by publishers as if it is the voice that should be listened to.

--And that's a huge issue too, which isn't even BookTok's fault but it does MATTER. Publishing and booksellers are letting BookTok dictate, in part, what gets picked up and what gets pushed. It's a homogenous group of people, and we're seeing the effects with the same Colleen Hoover books promoted over and over, the same contemporary romcoms that aren't funny, the same the same the same.

[liyawritesss]

ᴊᴀꜱᴏɴ ᴛᴏᴅᴅ + ᴄʟᴀꜱꜱɪᴄ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀꜱ

-> synopsis: there's no denying that Jason Todd Is the intellectual boyfriend we all crave - so let's take a peek into his repertoire and see what are some of his favorite black artists, authors, and philosophers!

         -> characters: Jason Todd | Red Hood

-> from: batman universe

         -> contains: can be read as either pre- or post lazarus pit, 3rd person

-> a/n: here's the first hc post from the batman poll i did! currently taking an intro to black writers class, and I wanted to make a spin on some classics I think Jason would like, specifically from black contemporaries from the like late 1800's to the 1990's. And yes, I know these authors and stories dont necessarily tie in to the canon timeline of things - I honestly just wanted to have fun with this, so please take it with a grain of salt, and if you don't like it or find yourself wanting to comment something mean, just scroll! Save us both the commotion.

         -> join my taglist!

-> tags: @mbakuetshurisprincess @shuriszn @writingintheshadowsforever @cafehyunji @niyahwrites @marsfunzon22 @briology @asensitivecookie @moon-bo-young @flo-milli-shit-hoe @romiantic @shuinami @badass-dora-milaje @uranometrias @insomniac-jay @punkeropercyjackson

      -> Paul Lawrence-Dunbar

             -> dunbar was a young novelist, writer, and poet during the 1880's and 1890's. His writing style is distinct with dialect, which earned him a lot of criticism despite his much popular portrayal of black life in southern America after the end of slavery. A lot of the tone in his pieces depict that of the African Americans struggle for survival post-slavery, as without adequate resources to gain their footing into society, the formerly enslaved were left to fend for themselves. What a lot of people at the time missed in his writings - and what Jason actually gravitates towards - is the fact that his particular style is actually intentional. It acts as a reclamation of what was mocked and dehumanized, reinstating power into it in a way that seems regressive, but is more powerfully progressive in retrospect. ‘Sympathy’ was a poem he didn’t know he needed until he read it, and now he either has the poem taped on his wall somewhere or it’s written/screenshotted in his notes on his phone. Similarly, he finds that the poem ‘We Wear The Mask’ is an allegory to the path he himself has taken.

      -> “Passing” by Nella Larsen

  -> this novel tells the story of two colored women - Irene and Clare - and how they navigate the world with the ability to pass as white women. There’s so much that goes into this novel, from the question of race as a moral ground, sexuality in the form of envy, the loss of community when one crosses the racial lines…. I feel like jason would love this book DOWN, the complexities and intricacies are right up his alley. While the book is not in production, Jason definitely finds some way, shape or form to get his hands on a copy….don’t ask a fanboy his methods okay!

       ->Toni Morrison

             -> Toni Morrison is one of my favorite black authors and by extension it is now Jason’s favorite. The way she writes is just so raw and passionate yet delicate and it really speaks to your soul. She’s one of those authors that’s in a completely different league of her own. I feel like Jason would really love Sula and A Mercy from her. He definitely cried while reading Beloved (everyone cries while reading Beloved). The Bluest Eye is his number one favorite book ever in life and I will die on this hill!!!

       -> “Sonny's Blues” by James Baldwin

             -> I honestly think anything by James Baldwin, Jason would like, but I choose Sonny’s Blues because of the struggle with brotherly love. There’s no secret that Jason has a tumultuous relationship with the rest of the Batfamily, and although for the most part the majority of it has been reconciled, tension lingers. Jason has his reservations, hes brash, and he’s the one that often clashes heads with people. This dynamic reflect that of the narrator and his brother, Sonny, who are constantly at war with one another because of Sonny’s desires and dreams, and the narrator being unable to see them. I feel like this is one of Jason’s comfort novels; it’s bittersweet, heartbreaking, and truly a testament to what people do when they think they’re doing what's best for those they care for.

       -> Other Books and Essays Include…

             -> “Letter to my Nephew” by James Baldwin, “Native Son” by Richard Wright, “Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl” by Harriet Jacobs, “Sweat” by Zora Neal-Hurston, The Parable Duology and “Bloodchild” by Octavia E. Butler

If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don't be shy to send in a request!

[lotusloveslotus]

here are my favorite video essays on games, in no particular order. these are not """analysis""" videos that recap the plot alongside development facts, nor entertainment journalism, nor reviews. these are videos which treat the medium of games as an art form worthy of both casual and academic criticism, sincerely examine narratives, and often acknowledge the real world politics which influence game development and developmental decisions

"In Search of Undersea Wildness in My Octopus Teacher, Abzu, and In Other Waters" and "What Is the Games Industry Missing?" by Pixel A Day. Kat at Pixel A Day is one of the sharpest in this field and these two videos show exactly why, in two very different ways. The former obsesses over both the beauty of oceans and humanity's tendency towards anthropomorphism, while the latter digs personally into the ugliness of both the games and games media industries.

"'Everything is Political' | Institutional Racism in Life is Strange 2" by Game Assist. Game Assist is one of few channels to delve so unflinchingly into intensely politic themes in games, as the title more than implies. From essays on ableism, misogyny, and racism in the Life is Strange series to de/colonization in Assassin's Creed III, they meet games where they are and examine their narratives earnestly while still acknowledging their shortcomings.

"The Most Abused Term in Videogame Criticism" by SolePorpoise. A very interesting exploration of the original "ludonarrative dissonance" essay.

"Prey - A Critique of the Mind Game" by Joseph Anderson. Joseph Anderson is one of the better known game critics, mostly owing to his extraordinarily popular series of videos on From Software's games and his propensity to have opinions. I don't always agree with him, but I find his critiques to be interesting explorations of games which are well-written and with good intent. He often has the effect of making me want to play a game (again) after watching his critiques — even the overwhelmingly negative ones.

"Phyrexia is Hell | A 30-Year History of Magic's Most Sinister Villains" by Rhystic Studies. Covers the design and evolution in design of the cultish and body horrific Phyrexians, some of Magic: The Gathering's most important villains. Rhystic Studies makes some excellent videos on Magic, largely focused on art, and this is my favorite of his.

"Why It's Rude to Suck at Warcraft" and "Minecraft, Sandboxes, and Colonialism" by Folding Ideas. Another big hitter, Folding Ideas' videos on World of Warcraft and Minecraft are two of the better and more academically-minded video essays on games ever made.

"Why I haven't played Hades ⚱" by LambHoot. Probably the most personal essay on here, this one is about the complicated feelings a game like Hades stirs in its Greek Canadian host. This goes largely into contemporary Greek culture and identity and some of Hades' shortcomings regarding it.

"The Problem with Greek Myth Retellings" and "The Endless Reinvention of Greek Mythology" by Kate Alexandra. While not technically about video games, Greek myth's constant presence in games (as seen above) makes them pertinent. A fascinating look at Greek myth retellings/inspiration from someone with clearly deep knowledge and passion for the subject.

"Animal Crossing and the Ideology of Chill" by Yaz Minsky. An examination of what our view of relaxation reveals about our cultures via Animal Crossing: New Horizons. A great expansion on "Minecraft, Sandboxes, and Colonialism."

"The Indigenous Other in Endnight Games' The Forest" by Murley Media. Another more academic essay, this harsh look at The Forest and its racist tropes of Indigenous "savages" is as well-researched as it is cutting.

[jessaerys]

your fav mello/near fics??? thank yeww (also love your drawings!)

oohh this reminds me i should pick up my ff.net archival reclist project up again...

it is of note that it's been a looooong while since i've combed the archives and there's a couple of common tropes i don't usually read due to personal taste, so i'm sure there's a lot of good fic i'm unaware of and/or forgetting about! this has totally renewed my interest in making a comprehensive personal reclist >:) perhaps i'll come back and edit this post every now and then.

i owe comments to nearly everyone mentioned here i am SO sorry. it's a lost skill that i am working on developing again. at the very least i've got everyone in one place so i can go down the list this year. i encourage everyone reading from this reclist to leave a comment too!

i wrote "off the top of my head" but this got VERY long so under the readmore it goes

obligatory classics

• the famous @tierfal 's sidetracked (2010) and full of surprises (2009). rated e and m respectively. these are like the allegorical little black dress in the wardrobe of the platonic ideal of the mellonear oneshot. seem to be pretty well known across the ship fandom • stripped (2009) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire on tumblr. explicit. i haven't read this in a while but i remember it capturing the delicate gossamer tension of the ship in a way that was sooo bittersweet and nostalgic. • to speak of rules and privilege (2008) also by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, gen, a manifesto on tenderness, soooooooooo soft, changed the game, near being afraid of thunderstorms was immediately adopted into personal canon. big time influence for the way i write near and mello's pre-canon relationship re: big brother, little brother. • an understanding (2008) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, rated T, short and sweet, razor sharp prose, the aesthetics of the little piece live rent free in my head. • dual(2011) by ramasi, @ramasi here i believe. rated m. historians say this might be one of the first examples of mellonear choking kink ever recorded,

•scarification (2012) by gacrux11 on fanfiction.net, rated m, big time dead dove do not eat. sorry this one leans early 2010s era grimdark melodrama but i love it sjkdfkjfd. not enough dead dove fics about the boys if u ask me. • salt in the wound (2007) •tempus fugit (2007), and • white out (2006) by vaudevillain king on fanfiction. net. a beloved rare find. all of them are rather grimdark edgy products of their era, but some of the best the era had to offer. they make me so nostalgic for my teenagehood on fanfiction.net. i get the impression these might've been written even before death note was finished? • birthday smut (2009) by kleine_aster on livejournal. explicit. this one is SO funny to me because it is both really, really good, very in character, but unfortunately it suffers from almost satirical misogyny that afflicted fujoshis back in the day. near literally is like oh that bitch... like. he would not fucking think that but i can edit quickly in my brain as i read. bisexual mello rights! otherwise really sexy imo. i might be writing something that's kind of in conversation with this fic.

RARE finds

(please tell me if you enjoy any of these, i want to feel like an explorer that's brought back treasures from far away lands)

contemporary favorites:

• you've heard about it before and you will hear about it again: the archer ensnared (2023) by jabbernatty, rated e. a jessaerys obligatory syllabus read, the fic that made me go fulltime yaoi disease. i owe so much to jabbernatty they are my white whale my friend my enemy the writer i've psychically imprinted on from the beginning. honestly too scared to even leave a comment given the jessarys archer ensnared lore. may one day may contact and pray i don't come across as insane • postmortem (2023) by the_hemlock true gen, a favorite of ALL time. it's only tangentially mn really, it is 99% about near trying to piece together the mystery of lawlight post-canon, but the characterization and prose are some of if not the best i've ever come across. reads like it could be a piece of canon material. if you only read one fic on this list i'd pick postmortem. • it's friday i'm in love by neallo/@neallo rated m. possibly my all time fave in the neallo cinematic universe. something about the after-hours longing and the standing in the kitchen by the refrigerator lights, as the poets say. i love when stories feel like you're cutting out a window to peer into a larger universe that is just out of reach. perfectly captures what it is like to have a maddening crush • i want to hold you (hostage)(2023) by neallo/@neallo rated e. thee defining fic of this current modern mellonear era. manages to walk the line of kinky/sexy/sweet/fluffy all at once. plot twist of the century in the last chapter. near is properly as bananas insane as mello is in this fic, which is the marker of a good mellonear dynamic. really everything by morgan neallo is a safe bet for a great read • there's nothing i want but you (2023) by neallo/@neallo rated t. wammy's era mellonear obsessiveness that is soooo teenagery and yet a portent of just how codependent they might one day get. cute and ominous. • armageddon/kill game (2024) by bolide/@bolide-archive came out of nowhere a couple of months ago and ascended to the top of the game like a dark horse. rated m, chess au. one of my favorite interior mello narrations and one of the most similar to my own interpretation. such naturally talented prose. i rotate lines from this in my head all the time. still in progress but i have faith that it will be completed :') • how to burn down the sacred loom (2023) by dornishviper/@vriskarlmarx a contemporary CLASSIC. the less you know going in the better. beautiful prose, beautiful structure. they don't make fic like this anymore • the house always wins (2023) by mer_curia/@vivi-scera. screaming with my mouth closed. holds a special place in my heart given that it is my posting that convinced vi to give the ship a try, and i was rewarded with a fic that is so catered to my tastes i honestly had to read it through my fingers. SO good, the manifesto on wammyscest, so rather controversial. heed the warnings. • moonlight (2023) by tsukinousagi/@quicktimeeventfull rated t. an austere, cold little glimpse into a vampire au. it's giving let the right one in. so melancholic. one of the saddest near examinations out there. •proximity tells (2018) by abysmallypresent, rated m. truly lives up to death note's second-by-second minutia while managing to keep up the tension the entire time. great characterization. •silhouettes (2015) by bad blood/eroticcodependence, @wxmmyshouse on tumblr. unrated, post-canon compliant. made me CRY! elegantly short and simple, bittersweet and so so wistful. •arsonist's lullabye (2023) by tzviaariella/@tzviaariella. rated t. this one has a heart-wrenching air of realism to it that exists outside the chaotic universe of death note, one of those examinations of picking up the pieces after the titans have all gone away. very bittersweet.

honorary mentions

• let's die somewhere prettier (2020) by firesafinething also one of my absolute favorites, unfortunately it is discontinued and it is likely it will never be completed. sad! the premise seemed SO promising. in my mind i file it right next to postmortem mentioned above. the exploration of the tragedy of 27 year old near we could have had in a better timeline. one day i will leave a comment so good maybe it will bring back the fic from the land of the dead • august underground by me & @firebuggg rated e, in progress. >:) (shamless self promo)

[covenofthearticulate]

hiii idk if you’ve ever discussed this before but i’ve been thinking about louis and marius interacting all day and so i’d LOVE to hear your take on what you think their dynamic would be like! what do you think it would take to get louis to engage with him on a more intimate level?

NO KENZIE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I ADORE MARIUS AND LOUIS!!!!!

literally all my favorite quotes about Louis in canon come from that little bit in QOTD from Marius' POV! Like!!! I will never get over how IMMEDIATELY smitten they are with each other!!!

Like on the one hand we have: "Louis stood quite still looking at [Marius] as he had earlier, as though he were seeing a myth made real."

and then we see that the feeling is absolutely mutual with Marius: "He smiled at Louis. Something in the manner of this one made Marius happy, though he wasn't sure why."

I think their dynamic is just so especially interesting because they have so many connecting threads re: Lestat and Armand, so up until QOTD they really have this mythologized version of one another— to Louis, Marius is this grand figure with all the answers Louis had always been searching for, and someone who both deeply loved and deeply hurt some of Louis' closest companions. For Marius, Louis is this strange fledgling who had the audacity to expose these secrets he's kept hidden at his own expense for literal centuries. By all accounts there should be some tension there, or at the very least some awkwardness!

But just as Armand and Louis are sort of two sides of the same coin in a lot of ways, I think Louis is one of the only vampires who has an innate understanding of Marius' worldview. Louis is not the artist or philosopher or politician that Marius is, but he holds a lot of the same values. I mean— Louis is a textbook Libra for god's sake— he NEEDS order and balance in his life, and lord knows Marius is the only other person who prioritizes that as well!

So anyway this is all to say that I really don't think it would take much for Louis to want to engage with Marius on a more intimate level!

And like, I was talking to a friend about this the other day as well but I'd like to think that in their contemporary era, Louis could really be the pupil that Marius needs. Yes, Daniel's relationship with Marius is bittersweet and interesting and fun to play with, but I've always wanted to see who Marius is outside of being a caretaker, and I think Louis is just like the perfect middle ground where he doesn't need or want anyone doting on him or worrying over him, but he's still coming into his own in the new era, he's still finding himself, he needs a kind hand, someone to talk with about books and music and art and culture.

And on Marius' end, I think it would do him good to spend time with someone who is just so genuine. As much as Marius needs and wants his pupils to challenge him, I think he would really benefit from having someone who is willing to just listen and appreciate his philosophy (that's not to say that he and Louis wouldn't have disagreements— but even then I'm sure they hash it out Socratic Style and end up with enough intellectual stimulation to get them all giddy).

ANYWAY TL;DR: WE NEED MORE MARIUS & LOUIS CONTENT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

[linafoxoficial]

Dear sun,

You have worse anxiety than me, which is saying something because I got pretty sever anxiety.

I wanted to offer you a hug but I fear that would probably make you worse.

So instead I made you a card package!! ::) inside I left you a.. couple generic objects to use for crafts or building, a bit of glitter glue, some jumbo crayons (the biggest I could find!) a lollipop and the disc to a random game I found-

Make sure to take lots of time for you! Self care is important ::D don't ever feel bad for taking a step back or doing things to help you regulate!! hope you enjoy the gifts - Muffin

( Moon was easily my favorite to draw, hopefully they like their doodle too! I noticed when you drew a ‘simp’ character you gave them shades so I got myself a pair! BB3c so sorry for taking a while to resubmit- this was my first free moment all day!!)

Ask: do you think sun would be a space player?

yAaaayyyu I have your ask back huhuhuhh I feel relieved, well probably Sun in his difficult time will use the items to create art in relation to his suffering created new MAGINIFIC contemporary arts... or he will just devour everything haahha in a fit of anguish

'Space player' ? I don't know exactly what that means, but sometimes I imagined a kind of show where the glamrock animatronics, freddy monty roxy and chica were astronauts wearing the clothes of those official security breach artists, and Sun would be a relatively huge space creature compared to astronauts, but being all depressed and not wanting to cause any harm to anyone.

[docholligay]

Doc's Very Best Of Death playlist official request.

These are pretty much all comfortably in the folk/countryish vein, because, well, that's what I listen to. ALSO THIS IS NOT A VERY BEST OF. It's a 'very best of I could think of while juggling my toddler and doing laundry and baking a cake for shabbat so it sucks probably' but if I don't take the pressure off I won't do it at all.

Kate and the Ghost of Lost Love, Dave Carter and Tracey Grammar -- I chose this over When i Go because I just posted that song, and also this has the line, "I count the days in cups of wine and candles I have burned" which haunts my thoughts constantly.

What Sarah Said, Death Cab for Cutie --Everyone creams themselves for I will Follow You Into the Dark (And, me too , babygirl) but What Sarah Said is so much more evocative for me. It's more REAL to me. It's just straight up about losing someone. Like, in the process of.

This time tomorrow Brandi Carlisle -- I have an endless fondness for things that are sad, but done with a cheerfulness. This fits that bill.

When I'm Gone, Phil Ochs -- I have a long post reply to verb that she most assuredly does not care about, and neither do you, about the finest Phil Ochs songs, but this is one of them. I suppose one could argue that it's not about dying, it's about the necessity of living as much as you can because nothing comes after, but I think that tracks. Love this song. Play it at my funeral.

The Dance, Garth Brooks -- this is the most traditionally popular song on this list, i think. Most contemporary, at least. You will find very few country fans who don't know this song. It's a banger. It kills. More than anything, it's about loving someone who dies, and how you would do the whole thing all over again. I like it live better than in studio, but that's just me.

Memories, Eisley -- I don't even know how I know this song ahahah. I think i heard it at a party once? It's not that this isn't the type of usic i listen to--I've kept the song forever--but i don't think i've listened to anything else by them.

Poison Oak, Bright Eyes -- If you've ever lost someone due to things I'm just gonna call "Kinda their fault" this mix of nostalgia and fucking RAGE and sadness just kills, and gets it completely. It's not very easy to find any song about death or grief that contains any anger. But i assure you it does happen in real life.

Each Coming Night, Iron and Wine-- You know, I saw iron and Wine back years ago at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass in San Francisco, which I went to pretty regularly when I was young. I heard this song there for the first time, hadn't heard the album this was on, actually sat there because I liked the last album. Anyway, this is another song that feels wistful rather than straight up sad.

Seasons in the Sun, Terry Jacks -- I almost didn't include this song because I was like, 'Fucking everyone knows this song it was a huge hit" but given the demographics of tumblr maybe you don't?

Whiskey Lullaby, Brad Paisley and Allison Krauss -- I can't hang this up without including a tragic story song (Gotta be one of my favorite genders). Maybe this was a bigger hit than The Dance? I don't think so though. I saw Allison Krauss when she came here, she played in a park it was great. I sat on the grass and drank a beer.

IF YOU LIKED ANY OF THESE OR ANY OF THESE SONGS MAKE YOU THINK "Oh I know a song doc would love" PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

[osarina]

I JUST GOT AROUND TO READING I, CARRION AND UGH!!

“there’s a lecherous smile on Albatross’s face as he leans against the frame and looks at you, glasses hanging off the bridge of his nose. ‘Damn, if you weren’t the boss’s girl…’” awww stop it you’ll make me blush

THE SCENE W DAZAI FINDING US NOT READY YET “It’s not silly if it has you upset,” kisses on the nape of the neck and then kissing our ankles & buckling our heels >>>>>> “I’m sorry that I’m not a good enough man to do what’s right and let you go.” hey so what if i started violently sobbing. “but if fate brought us together, then far be it from me to deny the one thing in this world that has ever made me happy.” HEY SO WHAT IF I STARTED VIOLENTLY SOBBING.

“Still, he wants to gouge their eyes out.” if my man doesn’t want to gouge out people’s eyes just for looking at me, i don’t want him ‼️‼️

“My, Dazai, possessive, aren’t you?” “Very,” Dazai agrees idly. “Be sure to remember that.” bringing his hand up from your waist to cup your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip as he murmurs, “That’s my girl, always so smart.” blushing giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair

“Fyodor Dostoevsky. A pleasure, truly.” oh no. oh no no no no no. that’s not good.

one more thing, i noticed that you kinda like made up your own characters (which was super cool and really creative btw!!) could you explain how/why you chose the specific authors you did? and i’m assuming you got their group names from something they wrote, any reason you chose those works in particular? (these are the ones i’m talking about: Mishima Yukio of the Sun and Steel, Nabokov’s Pale Flame, Leo Tolstoy’s Three Deaths, Cao Xueqin of the Red Chamber, Kitazawa Michihiro of Fuji Electric)

ty for listening to my ramblings once again ily !!

TUMBLR USER PE4RL-DIVER UGHHHHHH I LOVE YOU WHENEVER I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS IM SO HEART EYES

albatross is truly her no1 fan in this fic and she adores him <3 dazai is so not unsubtly jealous of him whenever she talks to him. gets all side eyed and irritated and then has to hide it whenever she looks at him LOLLLLL meanwhile albatross is just pleased that dazai is no longer an emotionless brick wall with a quick trigger finger

WHEN I TELL U THAT SCENE WAS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE EVER i actually struggled so much writing it not because it was hard to write just because i was yearning so terrible for him LOLLLLL HAHAHAH

</33333 we all need our own beastzai truly life is so unfair he's so perfect

OMGGGGGGGG actually thats my favorite part of writing series/long one shots. i adore being able to build up new characters and organizations. usually i pull them just from some of my favorite authors/works (i cheated with the one electric company its actually just a real company because i got lazy) BUTTTTT mishima is obviously my go to just because there's lowkey already been reference to him and his works in the series but no mention of him, so he's my favorite to build and explore. and then i dont know why but i always have the russian underground divided by three (tolstoy, dostoevsky, nabokov) and usually in a constant territory struggle. of the two ive built up, nabokov is usually the one i use the most because ive hced that he worked with the previous boss pretty often before things went to shit. but i've actually built tolstoy's organization more than his - the three deaths is led by a triumvirate of tolstoy, gorky, and cheknov who were all contemporaries and had were associated with each other. and actually fun fact, i plan on doing a fic with a reader who takes the place of cheknov as one of the three deaths so we're going to see more from them. cao xueqin wrote one of the 4 great classical novels of chinese literature. my fyozai fic i've also built a new organization for - they're based in italy and are in constant conflict with the clocktower, but i don't wanna give anything away because u shall see when i finally post that

maybe one day ill do a whole little page for the organizations ive built & their references in my fics for u guys to look at if ur interested!!

[hawfstuff]

Who-lahan's your favorite Dulahan?

Short answer, very few aside from my own. Long answer, I'm not a terribly big fan of the Headless Horseman from Sleepy Hollow over shadowing all Dullahans in a pop-cultural sense. I feel like The HH under utilizes the Dullahans more interesting quirks. (no spine whips, no blood throwing, no fear of gold, no name calling, etc) He's fine. Bunch of examples under cut.

First off the classic 1949 Disney Sleepy Hollow

He's a lot of fun but just too simple. No substance other than to be something fast and scary to terrorize Ichabod Crane.

Fun to watch but WHATEVER. 1999 Timmy Burty Sleepy Hollow HH is pretty cool.

like this is fantastic atmosphere, until he finds his head.

Oh cool, a skull.

oh god put it back. This is hideous.

The HH from Fox's Sleepy Hollow is actually pretty excellent.

Making him generally faceless is an improvement.

The shotgun bandolier adds A LOT. I think this is a great Dullahan but it's really hard to find good photos of him online that aren't super underexposed or horribly compressed. I'm also not a terribly big fan of how Dullahans are used in anime, the vibe they give off in anime feels nasty. Celty from Durarara I don't actually mind that much. I think a motorcycle in place of a horse is a good way to adapt the Dullahan to more contemporary settings. But she's like the only GOOD example.

This however is just disappointing.

If I recall correctly this one was used to write a lot of "head gags" around including but not limited to "repeatedly being groped by one of her friends while her head is far away from her body and unable to maintain agency over it"

And I just fucking hate looking at this THING.

Also what's with all the scythes? Dullahans don't fuckin' use those, get that shit outta here. There are more examples but I don't care enough for them to post any more. They're all pretty bad, and they are all harem filler. GROSS. I also wish the Dullahan was used more in games, their depictions are usually pretty cool but it's almost exclusive to Japanese developers. Western game devs are sleeping on the Dullahan and I want to rectify that.

Golden Sun Dullahan is cool but I don't typically think of them as "super tanky armoured dudes", too bulky imo.

Castlevania Curse of Darkness Dullahan has a great outfit, but that sword and shield combo looks worse that the Final Fantasy 14 grapes, awful weapon design. Speaking of FF14

Cool design, but same issue. Far too bulky for my tastes. Dullahan also makes an appearance in SMT

This just kinda sucks. More recently we got one in Dragons Dogma 2

He's alright. And then there's the beloved Horseless Headless Horsemann from TF2.

He's just too goofy, I don't like him. There are also dozens of Headless horsemen in card games, but they all feel like they are just there to pad out the monster menagerie. My biggest issue with Dullahans in games is that they are almost exclusively a throw away boss/miniboss and never get to be a real primary focus of their respective games, despite how cool they are. For these reasons there hasn't ever been a Dullahan in popular culture I've REALLY latched on to. Out of all of these I only really like 1999 Sleepy Hollow HH and Fox's Sleepy Hollow HH, because they are the primary focus of their respective stories but this all keeps coming back to Washington Irving's "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" as it's the only REAL substantive piece of fiction that uses the Dullahan in a strong manner, and even then he only shows up for the finale. A lot of this is pretty surface level, I'm sure there are far better depictions of Dullahans out there but none of them have made it back to me.

[tavina-writes]

I've watched Word of Honor, Who Rules The World, and Mysterious Lotus Casebook(I'm also not sure if the Untamed is wuxia or xianxia or something inbetween?) I don't think I mind longer shows but over...60 episodes is probably a harder sell. I like recognizing actors from project to project but I also don't know all that many so I'm happy to see fresh faces. I haven't seen any older cdramas so I can't say for sure, though I watch us shows from the 90s sometimes? I've paid for iQiyi in the past though I've let my subscription lapse. Does that help?

HELLOOOO sorry I got so busy and couldn't answer earlier Nonny!

I think based off of this, I would suggest you watch Legend of the Condor Heroes (2017) first. (It has Meng Ziyi in it!) This one can be found on iQIYI with good subtitles -- you'll need an account though sadly :( -- it's 52 episodes long (so on the longer side for a contemporary cdrama but pretty average sized for cdramas overall). And it was made for introducing a new generation to LOCH so it doesn't go at as fast a clip as LOCH 2024 (came out this year, beautifully done, goes really fast and does assume you know the general storyline even if you haven't seen it since you were 8). I do think 2017 assumes you know some genre trends also so having seen other wuxias is a good thing!

@autumnslantern also wrote a great writeup of our journey through the various LOCHes here.

Below find some general thoughts on all of the LOCHes I've seen, copy pasted from a discord ask I got a few days before your ask!

my childhood favorite LOCH is the 1983 TVB Jade version, which is very noncanonical to the book but So Much Fun <-- may not be your cup of tea if you don't enjoy that special 1980s charm :dogkek: It has, however, my absolute hands down favorite version of the Huangs (this IS the writer room where the Huangs were their special little meow meows and Kenneth Tsang personally created at least two generations of Huang Yaoshi apologists so) but yeah I love this version for how well it understands the characters, not how much it follows the plot.

I was not as fond of LOCH 1995 TVB reboot version (there were some interesting plot issues, but imo the biggest problem is that KangCi is played by 30 year olds and JingRong by 20 somethings, increasing the dynamics that in this universe KangCi are twice divorced 30 somethings trying to make this work again for the 3rd time as though they're stuck in a timeloop, the actors gave it their all and it was very good! just! perchance, suspension of disbelief interesting.) I would rate this one as a pretty solid adaptation overall though, my minor quibbles aside, just not my personal fave

I enjoyed LOCH 03, I think it has the best Mongolia 1 and 2 that I have ever seen adapted to screen, and really does a good job on this front. The Temujin Corruption Arc here has me by the THROAT. and this also has the best ever Tuolei. (Fun Fact! all the Mongolian Characters in this adaptation are played by Mongolian Actors, and it did pretty well on Mongolian traditional clothing also!) Unfortunately, it was also made for the whole 5 LOCH Mongolia Arch enjoyers in the world so the ratings are terrible. this one has interesting CGI choices, some pacing issues towards the end, and tbf in my personal opinion Li Yapeng did a better Linghu Chong than Guo Jing, but the Guo Jing characterization choices felt purposeful? JingRong is delightful together but Li Yapeng Guo Jing is a bit flat when he's by himself. Zhou Xun was Jin Yong's favorite Huang Rong, overall I enjoyed 03 but I can see why almost no one else did

LOCH 08: my personal nemesis, I would delete my memory of LOCH 08 if I could but then I might watch it and reintroduce myself

LOCH 2017: for a LOCH made with couch cushion money this is really a smashing adaptation. Minor quibbles on them making Huang Rong less problematic, kind of character assassinating Huazheng, giving Temujin the world's best skincare products known to man, and somehow taking a blowdryer to Huang Yaoshi for the sake of coolness, but I forgive them. There's lovely fight scenes in this version, and Chen Xingxu acted his socks off as Yang Kang

LOCH 2024: You can tell this one was made by people who idolized LOCH growing up. I love love love the production and color palette of this one, it reminds me of an updated late 90s early 00s Wuxia vibe with all the new tech that makes wuxia so cool in this decade. Hands down, Ci Sha quickly became my favorite Guo Jing of all time, and I think they really get what makes JingRong click. Some very interesting backstory connotations, I really hope they air the prequels so I can see this in the order they wanted it to be shown in. This loch also suffers from pacing issues, and will assume you already know the story esp bc at 30 episodes for the main story, it's the shortest of all the LOCH tv adaptations and that trims a lot of the extra side quests that make LOCH LOCH.

[mikalara-dracula]

Heyo, that tattoo anon got me thinkin, which of the boys would be into girls with short hair?

(Ps. love ur blog♡)

Which of the Diaboys would be into girls w/ short hair?

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with slight NSFW. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.

Caution: Unfortunately, Tumblr has a history of admins quarreling over completing carbon copy asks due to users sending the same request(s) to multiple admins, thus, resulting in unintentional plagiarism. With this, please DO NOT send the same request to multiple blogs as it can cause unintended plagiarism discord to other blogs across Tumblr. The word “plagiarism” stems from the early 17th-century Latin word, “plagiarius,” meaning “kidnapper.” So please, do not send in the same request to multiple blogs and make admins appear to be “kidnapping” other people’s work when it isn’t their intention. If this is to occur with any of my posts, please contact me so we can work something out.

Hi there, Anon!

Thank you so much for requesting! Thank you for the compliment as well. I'm sorry this took so long. Hope you enjoy reading it. Feel free to request again anytime. :)

Okay, so kind of bouncing off my post of which Diaboys would be into an s/o with tattoos. (post is linked here if you want to check it out)

Just like tattoos, short hair has been masculinized for the longest time as well.

So when women started to style and cut it short, you can imagine the controversy in society.

We're much past those days, but bear in mind that some of the Diaboys still hold dearly onto the stereotype and sexist expectancy that a woman "needs" to have long hair, otherwise, "what kind of woman is she?" (Yes, that's how silly their logic is, for some of them anyway.)

Although, some of the Diaboys have grown accustomed to contemporary hairstyles on girls.

Sooo, without further ado

Shu could honestly care less about how a girl's hair is styled. I mean, does he ever really style his own? Regardless though, he wouldn't mind having an s/o with short hair since it's less of a hassle for him to run his hands through it during aftercare. You tend to find tangles when running a hand through long, so the less fuss the better for him when it comes to intimacy. He likes shoulder-length hair ranging to bob cuts.

Ayato and Laito most definitely like girls with short hair, mostly because they think it looks cute. Laito especially finds the voluminous Marylin cut to be his favorite short hairstyle on a girl. It showcases such femininity but comes with a cute flare he just craves on a girl. Ayato finds the grown-out pixie cut and bob cut on a girl to be adorable and thinks it accentuates a girl's face nicely.

Subaru's a fan of short hairstyles on girls as well. He likes pretty much anything ranging from the high-low bob to a pixie cut. Even girls with linda cuts and mohawks are a weakness for him. He finds it to be so drastically attractive on a girl since he was used to seeing girls display themselves with long hair for centuries. So, it's a turn-on for him honestly to see something so out of contrast compared to what he's always been used to seeing.

Believe it or not, Ruki actually likes short hair on girls, especially the fringed bob and short bob. As we all know, short hair takes an immense amount of styling and it takes a long time to do. So if his s/o has short hair, Ruki likes running his hair through it just to mess it up since he finds it to be a turn-on to piss off his partner and hopes that this argument escalates into something intimate. Our vampire Christian Grey's got a thing for angry sex. Right, @liannelara-dracula?

Kou definitely likes girls with short hair. As an idol, he's used to seeing girls style and change up their hair a lot and has come across a lot of different styles he likes on women. He especially likes the 90's curtain pixie cut since it brings out a woman's face and accentuates it well.

Yuma doesn't really care about how his s/o styles his hair. Like, it could be long or short and he just doesn't care. When it comes to short hairstyles though, he definitely likes seeing his girl have a choppy bob or a grown-out pixie cut, mostly because, like Ruki, he likes running his hands through it and messing it up just to annoy his s/o. Asshole. Nevertheless, though, he does find these hairstyles to be hot on girls.

Kino's pretty modernized, especially since he's always on his phone lol. So, you can imagine that he's grown pretty accustomed to contemporary society, even leading to the subject of hairstyles. Like Yuma, he's most definitely into the grown-out pixie since he loves the way the layered hair rests on a girl's face. He's also a fan of girls having high-low bobs as well.

[susiephone]

one phenomenon on this website that kind of baffles me is when people are like "why would you enjoy [mainstream thing] when you could be paying attention to [thing created by or starring marginalized people]", which on its own is fine and good. romoting diverse media and works that don't get the attention they deserve? sign me up!

but often those posts imply it's somehow impossible for people to enjoy both things at once (or that it's some kind of moral failing to enjoy the mainstream thing at all). that always annoys me but what's worse imo is when the two things op is comparing have absolutely nothing in common whatsoever. like you wouldn't say "why watch Parks and Recreation when you could watch Star Trek: Discovery"??? both excellent amazing shows that i adore. zero overlap in theme, tone, or genre. someone enjoying one does not indicate how they'd feel about the other, in either direction.

like this one post i saw where people were discussing The Love Hypothesis, and one person in the thread said they worked in a bookstore, and whenever someone asked where they could find The Love Hypothesis, they'd say the store didn't have any copies but direct them to Nimona instead

setting aside the fact that it's tbh just kind of obnoxious to not let someone purchase a book you personally find bad or cringey or bland (i haven't read The Love Hypothesis beyond the prologue, so i can't form an opinion just yet, but i am currently reading it because i've seen it get dragged to hell and back, but i've also seen people earnestly enjoy it, and i wanted to give it a fair shake. plus, i like romcoms), why the hell do you think someone interested in The Love Hypothesis would be interested in Nimona?

i ADORE Nimona. it is one of my favorite stories ever. i recommend it to basically everyone. but like... The Love Hypothesis is a contemporary opposites attract romantic comedy set in a college that is aimed at adults. Nimona is a young adult fantasy comedy/parody graphic novel about found family and forgiveness set in an anachronistic otherworld.

these two have exactly zero things in common. if someone hasn't read Nimona, maybe it's not because they're "wasting their time" on The Love Hypothesis. maybe they just don't like graphic novels, or fantasy, or YA!

like, obviously, do promote the works you love, and do encourage people to seek out more diverse media, esp from marginalized creators. but consider your audience. if you know someone loves chocolate bars, you wouldn't just assume they like sour patch kids.

[mermaidsirennikita]

fave age gap romances?

GOOD QUESTION

So for references, I will categorize an age gap romance as a romance with a 10+ year gap. The gap feels more significant, however, when we're 15+ years in. And like, I feel there are books that FEEL like an age gap, and books that adhere to this rule and don't feel like it. I believe Ash is about 10-11 years older than Greer in New Camelot (and Embry is one year younger than Ash, so he's 9-10 years older than Greer) but that series deeply doesn't feel like an age gap series to me. But Mark's 14 year gap with Isolde in the Lyonesse series (he's only like 7 years older than Tristan, who's then around 7 years older than Isolde, I think?) feels like a gap.

So. ANYWAY!

Contemporary:

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield. Obvi! This is the one where the heroine accidentally hooks up with her boss (it was dark, he thought she knew it was him, she thought he was someone else) AND realizes they both have a massive daddy kink. It's both super sexy and really pretty emotional? I love the third act breakup in this book. It feels really real in a lot of ways. She's 25, he's 45, I believe.

Mercy by Sara Cate. A lot of Sara Cate books have age gaps, and Praise is good, and I recommend Praise, but I think Mercy is better so I'd like to give it more kudos. This is a smaller gap (12 years) but the heroine is older than the hero, she's friends with his dad (not in a weird way) and she's his domme. I love a good femdom romance, and this one has a bratty hero. We love to see it.

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at The Time by Kylie Scott. This is the one where the heroine had a huge crush on her dad's friend and business partner, basically like, jumped him against his will on her eighteenth birthday, the dad walked in, the friendship was almost ruined, and she was more or less banished for years. She's back at 25 (I believe the hero is 15 years older) for her dad's wedding, the hero resents what she did, and... Yeah... It's messy. But I find the drama delicious.

Dark Romance:

Mila Finelli's Mafia Mistress and Mafia Darling duet—great books, definitely BIIIIG on the age gap (she's 18 and he's 38, daddy kink is very much their thing) and OTT mafia ridiculousness. The heroine is a mafia princess in Canada, and her dad, who's a lower-ranking guy, agrees to pay off a debt by giving her as a bride to an actual Italian don's son. Said don kidnaps her, she's engaged to the son, she's a BRAT and is like "fuck you", and he's like "... never mind she's gonna be my mistress instead of my son's wife". It's campy, it's hot, it's fun.

BUT EVEN MORE SO I would recommend the third book in the series (a standalone, but best read after the first two) Mafia Madman. The age gap is less focused on in that book, but it's still big lol. She's 20 and he's 38, he's kidnapped her to get revenge against the guy in the first book (who is this heroine's brother in law now; she's the little sister of the first heroine) and he's CRAZY. They're one of my favorite romance couples ever. Every time he tries to get one over on her, she's fucking ready. Every time she does something insane to escape or seduce him into compliance, he's iNTO IT. And then there's a followup scene where she dresses up in her old school uniform so he can punish her. We all win.

(For those historical romance readers not in the loop: Mila Finelli is Joanna Shupe's mafia romance pen name, and I recommend everything she writes.)

The Lyonesse trilogy by Sierra Simone. Again, Mark is 14 years older than Isolde, and they kick off the series in Salt in the Wound with their kinky arranged marriage/fake relationship shit. Isolde is... very young in that novella and she wants to be a nun, so she's quite innocent in some ways. and jaded in others. But because things initially end the way they do for those two, you get a very DON'T CALL ME KID DON'T CALL ME BABY vibe that adds to the age gap vibe when they reunite.

Again, this is an MMF romance, and Tristan is literally right in the middle of their ages lol, but tbh he's very naive in a lot of ways and he and Mark feel like an age gap situation. And then his dynamic with Isolde is just... really hot....

Historical:

What I Did for a Duke by Julie Anne Long. Classic, the hero is a jaded duke (39) who wants to ruin an innocent debutante (20) in revenge for her brother cuckolding him lol. But she immediately figures it out and decides to use him to make this guy she likes jealous. JAL books are so funny yet emotional. After Dark with the Duke is also great, wherein a stern war hero (42) ends up having to give a scandalous opera singer he disapproves of (25) Italian lessons to make up for humiliating her. And then they become friends. And then....

Again the Magic by Lisa Kleypas actually has a fabulous secondary romance in which the hero is a jaded alcoholic businessman and the heroine is this much younger woman who's seen some shit but wants to have an affair with him and then like... believes in him... The primary romance is between childhood friends to enemies to lovers who are only a year apart, but both love stories are SO GOOD.

Grace Callaway has a lot of good "mild gap" romances (10-12 years) for those uncertain about dipping their toes in the water—Olivia and The Masked Duke (dad's friend, daddy vibes, brat vibes), Fiona and the Enigmatic Earl (marriage of convenience, both of them have secret identities), and Glory and The Master of Shadows (mentor/mentee, wuxia vibes) come to mind. I'd also recommend Regarding the Duke and The Duke Who Knew Too Much for this, plus The Gentleman Who Loved Me.

Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale uggggh dude. This is a 10-12 year gap I believe, but yeah... It's a villain romance, and he's crazy, and he forces her to marry him for political purposes (first encounter is noncon, to be clear) but then it's like... Oh. She's BRILLIANT. And he's a masochist, while she enjoys dominating him. And she's like... the only person who gets him and wants to learn from him... And she has her own agenda... One of my all-time favorites.

In Which Matilda Halifax Learns the Value of Restraint by Alexandra Vasti. Such a cute romance! The hero is rumored to be a Villain (he's not) the heroine has drawn erotic artwork of him and it left her hands so they end up on the road together... There's some light kink... Really fun.

Joss and The Countess by S.M. LaViolette. I recommend this a lot, check triggers, but it's so great and another rare book in which the heroine is the older one. Joss is around 27 and Alicia is 38-39. He's her footman/bodyguard and a secret former gigolo, she's looking for a lover, he realizes she needs to be DOMMED.... It's supposed to be sex and turns into waaaay more. GOD. GOD. This is also the book in which she touches herself while wearing his gloves, so.

Hyacinth by S.M. LaViolette. I forget how big the gap is here—I think Hyacinth is around 23 while Sylvester is late 30s or early 40s. Anyway, she's in disguise as a man while playing cards to save her family from destitution, he initially has NOOOO idea she's a girl until his valet tips him off, and they begin this like... buddy relationship that also consists of them absolutely demolishing each other in bed... JUST FOR FUN NO EMOTION... Hyacinth is neurodivergent and open about her kinks and desires, and her mom made her feel like a monster for it so she's convinced she can't love. It's actually both super hot and super beautiful and I recommend it to everyone. Selinan also has an age gap, in this case with an innocent virginal heroine who in a series of crazy circumstances becomes the housekeeper to a former rake who recently lost his sight and is a total dick to everyone. It's great. Aurelia, Phoebe, The Postilion, and His Valet also have age gaps, I believe. All good.

Princess is another recent favorite of mine. I believe the age gap is around... 14 years? The heroine is 20 and the hero is 34, she's a princess, he's the palace bodyguard/assassin/spy you know how it is... He was taken in by her parents and has known her... since birth... I'm gonna ignore it........... BUT YEAH. He's been avoiding her since she's clearly in love with him and he can't deal, and she's determined to fuck him before she has to marry this asshole for political purposes. So when she's sent to this safe house after a kidnapping attempt... Welp! Darius must go with her! To protect her!

The virgin lactation book.

[some-triangles]

2023 IN REVIEW

So, the most important thing that happened this year is I got married. My wife likes to dress me up in extravagant outfits and draw me little cartoons. I am more content as a human being than I ever have been.

This doesn't mean my brain problems have gone away. If anything, the good stuff I have now has thrown the bad stuff into sharper relief, internally and externally. It's harder to ignore depression and anxiety when you're not by yourself. When the people around you aren't actively contributing to your agita and there are no more ambitions you got which remain unfulfilled (apart from the silly ones like being so rich you never have to work again) it kind of highlights how, y'know, the call is coming from inside the house, where the house is my body, and the gremlin living in the attic is my brain.

I am feeling less and less apt to tolerate bullshit. Maybe less willing, maybe less capable. This has unfortunately coincided with a significant uptick in bullshit in the outside world, as we continue our transition to an overtly scam-based economy and our sensible centrist president continues to fund genocide overseas. There don't seem to be any good guys left. I find myself unable to shrug and say that it is what it is with quite the same nonchalance as before. Maybe it's a product of getting old.

Oldness may also contribute to the fact that I no longer seem to be interested in listening to new music. My track of the year is 4Lung's "Sarab&e", which is a cancelled furry rapping anemically over a Satie sample - you gotta really kick me in the shins to get my attention these days. On the other side I find myself listening to a lot of jazz on the radio. Did you know Orville Johnson (that's right, of https://orvillejohnson.com/ ) put out a dobro-led cover of Gravy Waltz? And it's pay what you want on Bandcamp? Maybe there are some good guys.

In sum I don't care what band that sounds like one band but also another band came out with their music album anymore. Boards of Canada already solved music and that's fine.

Comics are still good. Gray Folie's "Idletry" continues to be completely fascinating. There seems to be an endless supply of good artists on Tumblr just making stuff and putting it out there for me to look at. Thank you to all of them. Also I hear a new zine from my favorite might be dropping soon - stay tuned for more on that.

All I read is contemporary SF for the podcast and that's also fine. Most of it. Apparently the new thing is books about raising autistic children or being raised by autistic parents or both, and that certainly works for me. My favorite book of the year is not about that, though, and instead asks what if the founder of the Ming dynasty was actually an ace AFAB transmasc with ADHD. It manages to achieve grand tragedy with this concept, particularly if you ignore the ending. (Also you have to read the first book first or it won't make any sense.)

My goal for the new year is that I manage to get the energy together to find a therapist or change my meds up or whatever. Things are good but they could be better, might as well try. I would also kind of like to move back to the east coast but we'll see. Maybe get a cat.

[writingrosesonneptune]

Writerly Questionnaire Tag!

🌾Thank you to @cowboybrunch for the tag here!🌾

Gently Tagging: @saturnine-saturneight @tabswrites @magic-is-something-we-create @chauceryfairytales and leaving an Open Tag for anyone who'd like to do this!

About You

When did you start writing?

In First Grade, we had a class project to write a story, and I kept at it from there! Before we had a computer, I used to write and draw on copy paper and staple them together into books.

As far as when I started having longer term projects, that was probably halfway through elementary school, when I gained access to Word (back when it was pre-installed on computers and wasn't subscription based. It also crashed every few minutes).

Are there genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

I don't write much about generational baggage, but I love to read about it!

Is there an author or fellow writer you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

Not particularly, even though there are plenty of authors and other writers I admire. I'd be flattered if my writing was compared to someone else's, but I try my best to focus on phrasing things in a way that sounds right to me personally.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.?)

I mostly work on my tablet in the living room! Back issues and vision loss make computer screens too difficult for me to work at in recent years (I say recent but it's been ten years 😂).

My shelf full of sketchbooks, writing notebooks and previous drafts is right next to my chair. As is a rubber chicken. And watercolors/gouache supplies. It's a messy shelf.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Pacing in the dark!

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

To an extent! I used to write a few contemporary stories that dealt with environments closer to what I grew up with. But. Drawing direct connections like that felt too close sometimes, and for various reasons, I'm uneasy writing fiction set in those environments. Maybe that'll change someday!

That said, some of my early circumstances do find their way into my characters' lives - not as a 1:1, but meshed in there, somewhere.

And as for the climate, I do enjoy writing about hot, dry places as much as other climates. And having camped a lot as a kid (in different parts of the state), the woods also feel familiar to me.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Oh, they're there. Loss of Stability and Poverty (surprisingly, this one is largely absent from The Scorpion At Dinner) are near-constants.

Recovering after Abusive Relationships, Characters being forced to reckon with their Self-Worth, Societal Isolation - the gang's all here.

Festering Rot also shows up a lot, in both literal and figurative forms.

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, Past WIP, Never Used, etc.)

Unfortunately, I am physically incapable of picking a favorite anything ever.

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Guillermo (the chef from The Scorpion at Dinnner) would have some pretty interesting conversation.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

There are some choice antagonists in Pelican Queen. But as far as just like... personality clash? Inez, Ghost-Hand, or Stryn. They're all too set in their ways of thinking, and we'd get into headache-inducing arguments way too often.

Tell me about the process of coming up with one, all, or any of your characters.

Ghost-Hand is actually a good example for how a lot of my characters develop! In the first draft, he was actually more of a benevolent and even friendly guy, if still very distant. And while he was important, I didn't feel like he worked very well in the story.

On rewrite, I played around a lot with various characters' motivations and backstories. For him, I kept the beginning of his backstory mostly the same, with slight differences, and his personality slowly started shifting until I hit upon a key departure from his original history - his encounter with Stryn. Instead of parting ways, I decided to have them remain in close proximity, story-wise.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

*Tubthumping by Chumbawamba plays in the distance*

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

I sometimes get a loose, fuzzy idea of what a character might look like, usually like real people who exist only in imagination. Their features are never as clear as people I've met in real life. Usually, if I need to visualize a character, I have to draw concept sketch after concept sketch to get a decent picture of them. The concept sketches veer more towards stylized art, because it's easier for me to exaggerate features to make them distinct from one another.

And sometimes, in spite of this, I never nail down how they're supposed to look. No matter how I render them, the vibes are just off. Maybe I'll figure them out someday!

Your Writing

What's your reason for writing?

I want to read the stories in my head! And sometimes I want to introduce those stories to others, too!

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Any comment at all is extremely motivating 🥹

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in any way you interpret this question.)

I enjoy rereading a lot of what I've written in the last handful of years! There are certainly instances where the phrasing is not where I'd want it to be, quality/consistency-wise, but overall, I feel like I'm more or less improving.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Bummer! I hope something like this never comes to pass! But as long as I had the tools, I would still be writing. It's a nice way to pass the time, and I do get a sense of comfort from it from time to time.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it's a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I'd love to say I focus purely on what I enjoy (and I generally do, in documents I don't plan to publish), but there is an element of outside influence that keeps me from exploring some of the avenues I used to (where did you go, The Women's Wrongs?). I've been trying to break out of this mindset lately, and dabble in offshoots from what is currently canon in some of my work.

Whether those tangents will ever end up seeing the light of day, who knows?

[themuse-if]

Another 20 (or so) Questions with Faye Winters

Interviewer: Welcome to another installment of our character interviews, where we dive deep into the lives and minds of our favorite cast members of The Muse. Today, we have Faye Winters with us, a contemporary dancer who can shape clay as fluidly as she shapes her body. Faye, thank you for joining us. Could you start by telling us what made you want to pursue dance and sculpting?

Faye: I've always felt a deep connection to movement and expression. Dance, especially contemporary dance, allows me to convey emotions and stories in a way that words cannot. And sculpting is a whole other thing! It allows me to create the human form in a single beautiful moment. It's so interesting to create something stationary that contains so much movement.

Interviewer: How do you want to be seen by others?

Faye: Honestly sometimes I wish that I could pick and choose when I'm actually perceived.

Interviewer: Ok...could you elaborate on that?

Faye: I'm naturally pretty extroverted and I really love being around friends, old and new. I've just been really struggling to navigate my relationships, peoples expectations, their assumptions about me. I don't like conflict but no matter what I do it seems to find me.

Interviewer: I see the more people you let in the more complicated life can become. How about your art, how do you want it to be seen by others?

Faye: Sometimes I really shy away from just letting my true emotions show, It's not that I'm not actually a cheerful person, I just don't know if people will like the other parts of me. When I dance...it's like I'm still me but since I'm performing I can put my whole self into it and not be afraid of being harshly judged for who I am. If someone feels the need to critique my work that's one thing, but when they judge my character then it actually hurts. *starts fiddling with her hair* Uh I'm not sure if that answers your question.

Interviewer: No, I understand. You want people to see all of you through your work even the parts your afraid for them to see. So what do you look for, what traits do you value most in a friend?

Faye: Authenticity. I value friends who are genuine, who accept me for who I am and who I can be myself around. I might have a really big social circle, but I've actually only got a few friends that truly understand me and make me feel safe.

Interviewer: Mhm that checks out. So, what is your latest obsession?

Faye: I've been baking even more recently. I'm trying to perfect some recipes before I start my blog. Mmm struggling to come up with a name for it though. Let me know I you think of something. *reveals the most charming smile*

Interviewer: *grins back* I'll start brainstorming ASAP! Ok could you describe your ideal partner?

Faye: *starts chewing on her bottom lip, lost in thought* I mean I don't have a type. I think that I just gravitate towards people that make me feel at ease. Chemistry should be natural, like I want them to be my best friend, but I also want to feel butterflies and be a bit nervous around them.

Interviewer: Alright, and what was your first kiss like?

Faye: *chuckles to herself* It was my eighth grade spring formal. I went with my friend Gabriella who I had a secret crush on. We were young and I was still figuring myself out, my sexuality my gender identity. She was so cool and I had a crush on her for a while but I wasn't sure if she liked girls. I wasn't even sure if I liked girls until we kissed. We were just going as friends, but the DJ (aka Mr. Harrison our English teacher) just kept playing slow songs and we still wanted to dance. So on the fifth slow song in a row we were swaying gently she was really locked in on my eyes. I suddenly felt brave and went in for a little peck. She didn't shy away, it was sweet. I didn't stop smiling for the rest of the night.

Interviewer: That's honestly too cute. It's nice that your first have left such a sweet memory. Ok next question. Have you ever been in love?

Faye: *lets out the deepest sigh* I think you already know the answer to that. *she closes her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose* Yes I have been in love.

Interviewer: *clears their throat* Sorry about that...I don't think you'll like this next question either. When was your last relationship, and why did it end?

Faye: *covers her face with her hands* Uh god I really hate this. Ok, ok fine. You already know that Karla and I were together until recently, but hey I might as well tell you the whole story. We had a class together fall semester freshman year, Art-107: 2D Fundamentals. It's one of the core classes for Studio Arts. Anyways along with the obvious drawing assignments we also spent a lot of time taking field trips to galleries and museums. I had already noticed Karla in class but, she really stood out to me on those days...usually she would walk around with her headphones on, she seemed to be in a world entirely her own. Anyway, one day we were looking at the same piece and next thing I know she says, "You know we've been standing here for the last twenty minutes, and I haven't thought about anything except that you smell like lavender, honey, and sunshine." And then she just smiled at me...it was the most soft and unassuming expression. It's like she didn't have up any walls, she had a thought and just said it without worrying about it. She drew me in instantly. I never told her this, but I fell for her right then and there. At first everything felt so easy between us. Karla has this quiet confidence that just made me feel so secure in her, in myself...in us. *she lets out a bitter laugh* Then as usual when life starts getting to good obstacles come out to play! Long story short one of our "friends" started trying to drive a wedge between us. At the time I didn't realize it or want to believe it, but I think he was interested in me so he was always around and acting a little more than friendly. I tried to just brush it off as a little innocent crush. One day we were hanging out together waiting on Karla and next thing I know he's kissing me. *the interviewer's eyes go wide already knowing where this is going* Yeah...Karla had just walked in. Even though she saw me push him away. Even though I told here it was completely one sided she just didn't want to deal with the drama. And that was that.

Interviewer: Well fuck. That's really shitty. I can't even imagine having someone I thought was my friend do that to me.

Faye: Yeah it was really messed up. Sorry for rambling...I just wanted to get it off my chest, I'm so tired of people asking me about it. Now I just want to try and move on. But of course I haven't stopped thinking about her, not even for a single day.

Interviewer: I can imagine...sorry this next question almost feels to light hearted in comparison.*Faye shrugs signaling them to continue* What’s your ideal Friday night?

Faye: *she cracks a smile* Your right this is a rather light transition. Ok so my ideal Friday night would start with a sunset picnic. Just eating some yummy snacks, listing to music and being out in nature. Maybe we'll dance in the grass or just lay around and talk.

Interviewer: That sounds like a fantastic evening. What’s the last song you listened to?

Faye: "If You Were Mine" by Minova.

Interviewer: I'll have to give it a listen. How do you behave in a relationship?

Faye: In one word giving. I really like doing things for my partner. Curating sweet little gifts and dates keeping in mind how well I know them, in my opinion, is the best way to show them how I feel.

Interviewer: Do you approach those you’re interested in or let them come to you?

Faye: I think it's definitely a bit of both. I'll definitely approach someone first if it seems like they're on the shy side. Until I turned fourteen...maybe fifteen I was pretty awkward, but then I just decided to start accepting myself and putting myself out there.

Interviewer: What is your biggest pet peeve?

Faye: I really hate liars. Especially if you're lying about someone else. Like, why would you drag someone else's name through the mud.

Interviewer: What do you notice first about a person?

Faye: Their energy and presence. It's not that I believe in auras or anything, but people really do give off unique vibes.

Interviewer: What did you dream about last night?

Faye: Nothing that I can remember, thank god! I did watch a suspense movie right before bed, so I was sleeping with the lights on.

Interviewer: *lets out a light chuckle* Well Faye this has been an absolute pleasure, but I believe that’s all the time we have for today. Thank you so much for coming in and sharing more of your story with us!