#contact they have with the racist managers outside of simply passing by them

[tariah23]

Tomorrow might be my last day at this place, they fucking hate me heresjsjs

[nikkoliferous]

Confirmation of Joe Biden’s election victory and his looming inauguration as the next President of the United States has elicited a joyful response from large swathes of the press and across social media. Yet for those people who are aware of Biden’s politics and record, beyond the spurious ‘nice guy’ image projected by the media, and therefore understand what the implications of his victory are likely to be, witnessing the mainstream reaction to it has been a profoundly alienating experience. This feeling of isolation has been exacerbated by the fact that legitimate criticism of Biden and his running mate, Kamala Harris, has frequently been met with personal invective, as though it is an attack on the very being of those who are currently celebrating their win.

As Devyn Springer has explained, ‘the gutting of political education and virality of capitalist miseducation means that people offering valid criticism, analysis, and reproval are likened to “hating” and “not letting people enjoy things” in the stunted Amerikan [sic] political imaginary.’ Lamentably, the absence of critical thinking and political imagination in the US is also a feature of political discourse in the UK. Contrary to the idea that feeling no joy regarding the prospect of a Biden-Harris administration is driven by a mean-spirited desire to spoil the happiness of others, it is in fact a sentiment that springs ultimately from love and solidarity – a crucial distinction that Steven Salaita recently expressed with characteristic eloquence. The inability to feel any joy at Biden winning, even if simultaneously relieved to see Trump lose, is borne out of compassion for all the past (and future) victims of both Biden’s personal actions, and of the neo-liberal and imperialist politics that he so perfectly embodies.

It should be plainly stated that by any meaningful and honest measure, Biden is a monster who has caused an incalculable amount of suffering over his many decades as a senior official of the US empire. Given the length of Biden’s career, a comprehensive rap sheet requires a book-length study, but his ‘highlights’ include his central role in drafting a number of deeply racist pieces of legislation (including the infamous 1994 Crime Bill) that both exacerbated and consolidated the mass incarceration of Black Americans, and legislation that went on to be passed largely unchanged as the Patriot Act of 2001 that gutted civil liberties in the US; his prominent role in lobbying the Senate and the American public for the war on Iraq as Chairman of the Senate’s Foreign Relations Committee; and his ‘unconditional, career-long commitment to Israel’ that has seen him develop close friendships with a number of fellow war criminals including Benjamin Netanyahu and the late Ariel Sharon, at whose funeral he delivered a eulogy. In short, Biden is a racist authoritarian at home and an enthusiastic and unapologetic imperialist abroad. On environmental issues, in spite of the hopes that liberals are already investing in him, Biden is little better. During the campaign he repeatedly announced that he will not ban fracking and his adviser on energy issues, who served as Energy Secretary under Obama, is a notorious lobbyist for the fossil fuel industry. It is alarming to note too that Ezekiel Emanuel, a member of Biden’s recently announced Coronavirus taskforce, has argued that life is not worth living beyond the age of 75.

In addition to the long list of sexual assault allegations he has faced,  something that is rarely publicised or discussed outside of pro-Trump media, is the deeply disturbing fact that even when the cameras are rolling, Biden appears to be incapable of not smelling, kissing, groping and otherwise acting wildly inappropriately with women and girls with whom he comes into contact. Such is the incredible power of the media to continually re-invent and sanitise public reputations, that virtually all of this lamentable record is simply cast aside and intentionally obscured. Instead, Biden is regularly portrayed in a highly favourable light as a ���decent, empathic man’ who supposedly stands in stark contrast to Trump. The truth, as articulated plainly in a recent interview by Evo Morales – the former President of Bolivia deposed in a US coup in November 2019 – there is really little difference between the two men and the parties they represent, except for that Trump’s racism and fascism is more explicit. All this does not even address the other elephant in the room: namely that Biden is evidently undergoing some form of cognitive decline, which, on multiple occasions throughout the campaign period, has left him unable to form coherent sentences and repeatedly slurred basic words and phrases.

It is telling, if not surprising, that many of those who have thus far publicly celebrated the election results with the most glee are those liberals who in their own words, cannot wait to stop caring about politics again. It was Trump’s overt racism, crude style and unpredictable theatrics on Twitter and elsewhere – the cause of such embarrassment to them and the US liberal establishment as a whole – that they opposed, not the actual content and results of his policies, so many of which were in fact a direct continuation of policies inherited from the Obama-Biden Administration, including the caging of migrant children and the much-derided ‘Muslim ban’. In fact, Trump’s recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, one of his most criticised decisions internationally, was only legally possible as a result of earlier legislation that Biden himself voted for and was later supported by Obama. It is evident that for many of those who formed the so-called ‘resistance’ to Trump, their opposition to his presidency was not driven by the harm that it inflicted, but rather by the damage it caused to America’s reputation globally and the subsequent embarrassment and discomfort they felt.

A widespread concern among elements of the US establishment, especially early on in Trump’s Presidency, was that he would make good on some of the anti-war rhetoric he had occasionally deployed during his campaign and not be sufficiently imperialist in outlook. It is for this reason that Trump received perhaps the most unanimously positive coverage in the media on the day on which he authorised air strikes on Syria. No such fears exist with Biden, who, as though such reassurance was required, has repeatedly gone out of his way during the campaign to demonstrate his hawkish credentials on a host of foreign policy issues including his stance on China, Syria and Iran. Accordingly, The Guardian has already called on Biden to ‘reassert America’s role as the global problem-solver’ because under Trump ‘the “indispensable nation” disappeared when it was needed most.’ A sentiment that is a perfect illustration of John Pilger’s maxim that ‘the task of liberal realists is to ensure that western imperialism is interpreted as crisis management, rather than the cause of the crisis and its escalation.’

In essence, liberals are fawning over Biden solely by virtue of him not being as obscenely and openly racist as Trump. To do so in spite of his disastrous record and in the absence of him running on any meaningful policy platform or alternative vision brings to mind C. Wright Mills’ scathing assessment of liberalism from his work The Marxists (1962), which is relevant enough to quote at length:

“As a set of theories – or better, of assumptions about man, society, history – liberalism today is at a dead end. The optative mood has so thoroughly taken over that liberals often appear out of touch with the going realities. That is one reason it is so difficult to sort out distinctively liberal theories as such. Often failing to recognize facts that cry out to be recognized, liberalism is irrelevant to much that is happening in much of the world. Liberal ways of looking at these facts too often become mannerisms by which liberals avoid considering the structural conditions of social life and the need to change them. In fact, liberals have no convincing view of the structure of society as a whole – other than the now vague notion of it as some kind of a big balance. They have no firm sense of the history of our times and of their nation’s.”

Under Trump’s leadership, most notably at the height of the vicious repression of the Black Lives Matters protests in May and June of this year, the superficial mask of American liberalism dropped entirely, exposing the ugly fascism at its core. Biden’s win is undoubtedly the start of a concerted effort to lift that mask back up, restore America’s image and get back to the business of imperialism disguised as ‘global problem-solving’. Trump’s overt racism will be replaced with the more refined, tacit variety at which the Democratic Party excels, and his candid admissions regarding the true motivations behind US military action substituted with statesman-like messaging about humanitarian intervention and the international community’s ‘responsibility to protect’. That Biden’s Vice-President will be Kamala Harris, a half Black, half South Asian-origin woman – regardless of the fact her politics are as reactionary as his – will also be used to project an ostensibly progressive image of the incoming administration. All those who are committed to opposing all forms of racism and imperialism, of the refined variety or otherwise, must resist these dishonest attempts to portray a Biden win as anything more than an administrative reshuffle within the bi-partisan management of a genocidal empire that, whoever is President, represents a grave danger to its own people and the future of everyone else on this planet.

[auburnfamilynews]

Photo by Don Juan Moore/Getty Images

SEC football is back!

At last we have arrived. The SEC season finally starts on Saturday. This year, our against-the-spread weekly preview will be just like Auburn’s schedule: SEC only. So far everyone is playing this week, so let’s get to it.

Note: some of my brethren decided to include more than just a score. Some didn’t. [shrug emoji]

Missouri vs Alabama (-27) (O/U 56)

Assuming this isn’t called off for COVID testing, this is a rough first game for Eli Drinkwitz. If they were 100%, I would like them as a home dog. Drinkwitz coming off the Malzahn tree might bring in some of Malzahn’s success against Saban under normal circumstances, but that isn’t the case here. To be honest, I wouldn’t blame Mizzou if they went run heavy and tried to get out of there as fast as possible. I doubt that’s what happens though. Alabama 49-10 (Alabama wins and covers; over)

Rest of the Staff

Josh Dub: Missouri 21, Alabama 49 (Alabama wins and covers; over) Ryan S Sterritt: As much as I would love to see the Gus Malzahn tree flourish out of the gate, I don’t think this is it. The Alabama passing game is going to torch the Mizzou defense. 49-17 Alabama. (Alabama wins and covers; over) Josh Black: Weird how Alabama gets to play a Big 8 team in a year where we’re supposed to only be playing SEC teams. Alabama 48 Missouri 13 (Alabama wins and covers; over) Dr Will: It’s laughable (but not surprising) this game is the Primetime ESPN game but after all, it’s the team that has absolutely “No Excuses” this season. Alabama 42 Missouri 10 (Alabama wins and covers; under) AUNerd: Missouri is an intriguing team this year. They brought in a bunch of transfers especially on the offensive side of the ball. However, they won’t be at full strength and we don’t know who will be missing. Even with a full roster this was a tall task but now with possibly some crucial pieces out I don’t see a path to victory outside of Mac “Pick 6” Jones throwing them a few scores. I think Jones puts up gaudy numbers by simply throwing the ball 5-8 yards and letting Jaylen Waddle and Devonta Smith do the work, you know kinda like that “generational” QB who only beat AU once and is now sitting behind Ryan Fitzpatrick in the NFL used to do. Alabama 45 Missouri 13 (Alabama wins and covers; over) Drew Mac: uat 52-10 (Alabama wins and covers; over) Crow: Mizzou? I didn’t know we were playing out of conference games this year? Bama 28-0 (Alabama wins and covers; under) Jack: Like 14 deep balls will be thrown to Devonta Smith and Jaylen Waddle in this one. Missouri has nothing. Bama covers. 45-16. (Alabama wins and covers; over) Chief: Alabama managed to not have their usually easy schedule affected with the additions for this season. Tide 48 - Tigers 10 (Alabama wins and covers; over)

Ole Miss vs Florida (-14.5) (O/U 57)

Florida has historically had some struggles traveling to Mississippi as a favorite. Specifically against MSU in 2000 and 2004 (the origination of #CROOMED, and the game that got Ron Zook fired) and even a 6-pt win over Orgeron’s last team in 2007. Florida is my pick to win the East, but I think they start slowly. Don’t be surprised if Ole Miss puts up some points. I’m just not sure they can stop Florida enough, as evidenced by the total. Florida 38-24 (Florida wins, Ole Miss covers; over)

Rest of the Staff

Josh Dub: Ole Miss 17, Florida 38 (Florida wins and covers; under) Ryan S Sterritt: I want to think this game can be fun, as the Lane Train leaves the station in Oxford. But I also might have accidentally picked this Florida team to go 10-0. I think this is a case where talent wins, even if Mullen is still calling them tSUN. 27-10 Gators. (Florida wins and covers; under) Josh Black: Trap game? Trap game. Lane’s gonna beat somebody he shouldn’t in his first year. It better not be us. It might be here. But I ain’t picking it. Florida 34 Ole Miss 17 (Florida wins and covers; under) Dr Will: Dan Mullen returns to Mississippi but to Oxford as the Lane Train makes its Ole Miss debut. There’s a lot of hype for Florida QB Kyle Trask so we’ll see how far he takes the Gators this season. Florida 24 Ole Miss 13 (Florida wins, Ole Miss covers; under) AUNerd: For some reason, I really wanna pick Ole Miss to win this game. I just think Lane Kiffin has enough offensive pieces to be a pain in the butt this year. However, Ole Miss ain’t stopping anybody so I think this turns into a shoot out where Matt Corral makes too many mistakes & the Gators escape with the W. Florida 48 Ole Miss 38 (Florida wins, Ole Miss covers; over) Drew Mac: Gatas: 38-17 (Florida wins and covers; under) Crow: Florida is supposed to be really good this season. Ole Miss had a player transfer there because it was less racist than another school. 2020 is weird. Gators 24-12 (Florida wins, Ole Miss covers; under) Jack: I would love if the Rebels came out with something funky thanks to the Lane Train, but Florida will be stingier on defense, and ahhhhh heck, why not. Plumlee frustrates the Gators and wears them out by Manzieling all over the place. Rebels 24-23. (Ole Miss wins outright; under) Chief: Kiffin seemed super pumped for this one huh? I remain unsold on Lane Kiffin. Florida looks to be in a position to possibly win the East this season. Gators 28 - Rebs 20 (Florida wins; Ole Miss covers; over)

LSU (-17) vs Mississippi State (O/U 55.5)

I know LSU still has a ton of talent from the way they have recruited under Orgeron, but given what they lost, I’m a little worried that they might come out of the gate a bit flat. That said, I just don’t see Leach turning Mississippi State’s roster from power-run to air raid in one year. They have enough talent that they won’t be killed this season, but I think this is a Year 0.5 for them. LSU 30-14 (LSU wins, MSU covers; under)

Rest of the Staff

Josh Dub: LSU 21, Miss St 24 (MSU wins outright; under) Ryan S Sterritt: Seventeen is a big number for a team losing as much as LSU is, although I think Mississippi State is on track for a rough transition. No upset, but I’ll bank on LSU’s defensive talent holding firm. 23-10 LSU. (LSU wins, MSU covers; under) Josh Black: LSU has lost a ton. For Whom the Cowbell Tolls thinks State has the greatest offensive collection of talent this world will ever see. Have fun with Kylin Hill getting 8 carries a game while you’re throwing the ball 55 times! At the end of the day, y’all, it’s State. LSU 31 Mississippi State 20 (LSU wins, MSU covers; under) Dr Will: Welcome to the SEC, Pirate! Your first game is in Death Valley against the defending National Champions. Granted, this LSU team has 2011 Auburn vibes to me with all the talent they lost but we’ll see how it plays out. LSU 28 Mississippi State 16 (LSU wins, MSU covers; under) AUNerd: The optimism for both of these programs this off-season is off the charts. LSU somehow thinks they will be the same type of juggernaught despite the mass defections. Mississippi State folks think KJ Costello and Mike Leach are going to immediately light up the SEC. I doubt either are true. LSU’s offense looks ok in debut while their defense smothers State’s WR. Costello throws multiple picks that make the score look worse than it should. LSU 42 Mississippi State 14 (LSU wins and covers; over) Drew Mac: Miles Brennan does not have a better arm that Joey B....don’t you spread that blasphemy!. Tigas: 24-16. (LSU wins, MSU covers; under) Crow: LSU is the returning champs and will be champs until someone beats them in my book. Moo State isn’t that team. Tigers 29-9 (LSU wins and covers; under) Jack: If LSU was playing a tough first game, they’d be in trouble. They lost too much to come in fully lubricated, and Mike Leach will certainly take a moment to adjust to. It won’t be a blowout, but LSU wins sloppy. 28-19. (LSU wins, MSU covers; under) Chief: If I expected any level of competency out of this State team, I’d expect an upset here. As things stand, no way. Tigahs 24 - Dawgs 10 (LSU wins, MSU covers; under)

Arkansas vs Georgia (-25.5) (O/U 52.5)

This combination of line and total doesn’t make sense to me. Georgia has one of the best defenses in their history. Arkansas is going to be terrible. However, if we have Georgia miss covering by the hook, and we miss the total by the hook, the expected final would be 38.5-13.5. I just don’t see Georgia going all out enough to score 38 or allowing 13. I think this one might be a shutout. Georgia 34-0 (Georgia wins and covers; under)

Rest of the Staff

Josh Dub: Arkansas 6, Georgia 41 (Georgia wins and covers; under) Ryan S Sterritt: Oh man. I know UGA is replacing essentially an entire offense, but this Arkansas team is B A D. If Georgia just runs the ball with Zamir White and looks Pickens way on a few deep balls, this will be a blowout. Perfect to inflate their egos. 42-10 Georgia. (Georgia wins and covers; under) Josh Black: Arkansas would be smart to show too many players having contact tracing so they cannot play this game. This is also something that will likely be said 10 times this season. Georgia’s gonna start one of their bevy of Heisman contenders at QB, most likely D’Wan Mathis. It won’t matter whether he’s any good or not for this one. This is also a big year for Georgia in terms of celebration of achievement. What better way to start it off with honoring that achievement with a point for every year since? With that in mind…Georgia 40 Arkansas 0 (Georgia wins and covers; under) Dr Will: Georgia’s warmup for Auburn next weekend is a trip to Fayetteville to play the Hogs. Cool. Georgia 27 Arkansas 7 (Georgia wins, Arkansas covers; under) AUNerd: I think UGA’s offense is gonna be a mess for the first part of the season but it won’t matter against a very bad Arkansas squad. That defense will protect the offense for much of the season. UGA 35 Arkansas 3 (Georgia wins and covers; under) Drew Mac: puppies 49-13 (Georgia wins and covers; over) Crow: The hogs are the most embarrassing thing to come out of Arkansas since those pics your cousin took on spring break at Hot Springs. She should not be wearing that. Dwags 35-3 (Georgia wins and covers; under) Jack: Arkansas may not cross midfield on offense. Georgia’s looking for an offense as well, but they don’t have to try in this one. Dawgs 35-6 (Georgia wins and covers; under) Chief: Georgia gets the luxury of playing a dead body the week before they have to host Auburn. Hopefully it will fill them with an undue level of self confidence. Even though things have been pretty unsettled in Athens, they easily take care of business here. Dwags 38 - Hawgs 3 (Georgia wins and covers; under)

Texas A&M (-30.5) vs Vanderbilt (O/U 46)

Okay I know there are a ton of people on the A&M Hype Train, but 30 points in a conference game? I’m going to play it safe on Kellen Mond. Not to say they won’t win, or that they won’t win comfortably. I just don’t know about a line this big when we know nothing about COVID A&M. Aggies 34-10 (A&M wins, Vandy covers; under)

Rest of the Staff

Josh Dub: Texas A&M 32, Vanderbilt 18 (Texas A&M wins, Vanderbilt covers; over) Ryan S Sterritt: I guess the SEC wanted to be sure to keep cupcakes on the schedule for week one. I know we’re supposed to all believe in Kellen Mond finally, but despite all the talent, he’s still underwhelming. That doesn’t mean bad, though, and this Vandy team is way worse than bad. That said, 31 points in an SEC game is bonkers. 38-13 TAMU. (A&M wins, Vandy covers; over) Josh Black: Like Arkansas, Vandy should really consider being noble with regards to player safety this season and just bail. No one would notice. A&M has gone from a media darling in the preseason to more opt-outs than Jimbo Fisher has cowboy boots that say 20?? National Champions across the front. You know he’s got at least 7 pairs. A man with that much money ain’t gonna just go for Ostrich when alligator, snake, and yes even stingray is right there to complete the set. A&M 37 Vandy 9 (A&M wins, Vandy covers; push....good luck with that) Dr Will: Jimbo’s gotta win this year or he’s on the hot seat big time, amirite? He gets a layup Week 1. Texas A&M 37 Vanderbilt 10 (A&M wins, Vandy covers; over) AUNerd: I don’t expect a ton out of this A&M squad this year despite them being the trendy off-season pick but they will look very good against a really bad Vandy squad. Texas A&M 52 Vanderbilt 16 (A&M wins and covers; over) Drew Mac: Ags 52-3 (A&M wins and covers; over) Crow: Vanderbilt keeps their GPAs higher than their scores. Aggy 35-3 (A&M wins and covers; under) Jack: Jimbo better do something this year. Starting against Vandy is a nice jump-off point. Aggies 51-14. (A&M wins and covers; over) Chief: Who would watch this game? I know I wouldn’t. Not even if it was the last game of football on earth. Fake Army Bros 24 - Fake Title Havers 14 (A&M wins, Vandy covers; under)

South Carolina vs Tennessee (-3.5) (O/U 42.5)

This one is probably the most intriguing matchup of the day, save for maybe Auburn/Kentucky. South Carolina is attempting to zag by hiring Mike Bobo and getting back to huddling. What a novelty! Perhaps they’ll even use a fullback! I think Tennessee will be incrementally better than they were last year. Then again, last year they lost to Georgia State and BYU to open the season. Even on the road, I like their chances here. Tennessee 21-17 (Tennessee wins and covers; under)

Rest of the Staff

Josh Dub: South Carolina 31, Tennessee 28 (South Carolina wins outright; over) Ryan S Sterritt: I’m pretty sure I’ve guessed this game wrong every time. The last 5-10 years or so, Vols vs Cocks has been a trash fire of offensive incompetency, regardless of the final score. Now, Tennessee thinks they’re going to be something this year, so what better way to screw it up than losing to Will Muschamp. Scarolina 19-12. (South Carolina wins outright; under) Josh Black: Is Tennessee good? Also, why we talking up Kellen Mond when he’s basically a little bit less erratic than Jarrett Guarantano? Anyways, South Carolina is still coached by Will Muschamp, who has broken his own offenses for years. But Mike Bobo is there now! That sound you just heard was Georgia fans hitting the floor with a stroke when remembering how conservative of a coach Bobo was there only to realize that it’s just kinda the Georgia way, isn’t it? Tennessee 34 South Carolina 14 (Tennessee wins and covers; over) Dr Will: This one to me could go either way but this is supposed to be the year the Vols take a huge step forward but I know they’ve had a lot of COVID issues in Knoxville, as have a lot of teams. I think Tennessee wins a close one though. Tennessee 23 South Carolina 20 (Tennessee wins, South Carolina covers; over) AUNerd: Most interesting game of the day outside of AU/UK. I don’t really know how good or not good these two teams will be this fall. Tennessee from a talent perspective should be competing for the SEC East crown. But Pruitt has struggled to get all these individual pieces to play together consistently. South Carolina has a new OC and a new QB but I don’t know if they have many offensive weapons. Their defense will be solid as always under Muschamp and this ends up being a low scoring affair. Only upset pick for me this week. Gamecocks steal one from the Vols. USCe 17 UT 16 (South Carolina wins outright; under) Drew Mac: Vols 38-17 (Tennessee wins and covers; over) Crow: no pick. I assume he was disgusted by the matchup. Jack: I really don’t like Jeremy Pruitt, but he’s got a little bit more talent I think. Put the kids to bed and watch the Bama’s next coach squeak by the Gamecocks. Vols 27-23. (Tennessee wins and covers; over) Chief: Boom is gonna have the Cocks ready to play. Jeremy Pruitt’s Tennessee renaissance is put on hold as Boom and the boys pull off the only upset in week 1. Cocks 24 - Vols 23 (South Carolina wins outright; over)

A closing message from Josh Black

God that was fun. Regardless of what happens Saturday it’s good to have it back. Hopefully you and your loved ones are ok through this truly scary and downright wild 6 months we’ve all had. Maybe binge on some good food Saturday. Reward yourself with another drink. College football legitimately starts on Saturday, and we’re all along for this weird and hopefully normal as can be ride.

And just in case we lose, don’t do it. It ain’t happening. No one has the money and it’s not worth going through all that this year. The man has earned a reprieve with what we’ve been through in this country and how he led his football team in unity to peacefully protest, has been adaptable at every turn through this uncertainty, and oh yeah, finds a way to beat Nick Saban at a rate better than anybody else. You’re gonna want to scream for it at some point. You know you are. If we have another first 3 quarters of last year’s Georgia game I will too. Give it a year off and let’s just try to enjoy this. We need it.

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2020/9/25/21454074/staff-picks-sec-week-1

[ecotone99]

[NF] See you soon, but not soon enough

Summer of 2011 I was a university student, enrolled in summer courses to help accelerate my Bachelor of Science degree. I was offsetting a more difficult BioStat course with a Narrative Literature course (one of the options for the mandatory first year English requirement).

He caught my eye on the very first day. I was 20 years old, slightly older than my classmates, but what set me apart even more was my status as a single mother. It was one of those things that was omnipresent for me; I looked at my fellow students and saw them as fledglings - able to enjoy that space between childhood and adulthood. I would never know how it felt to be a carefree young adult. I was stuck between worlds - too young and inexperienced to fit in with other mothers, too much baggage to fit in with the other students.

But he wasn't like the other students. He was older - in his 30s. He was also handsome with his dark hair and slim build. He was sitting near the centre of the room and I sat at the edge, sneaking glances.

It wasn't long before he spoke. He was extroverted and confident, easily engaging with the professor. His voice was rich and low, closely resembling that of Matthew McConaughey (minus the southern accent. This story happened in Canada). It moved me at a cellular level.

It took me about 5 classes before I drummed up the courage to sit next to him. I noticed that he was often one of the first to arrive, so it was simply a matter of arriving early enough to claim the empty chair beside him. The first time I had difficulty making eye contact, and may have squeaked out a hello. I had high hopes of initiating a conversation about the weather at very least, but I couldn't will my mouth to speak.

I arrived prepared the next time. I pulled out a fresh sheet of note paper and while the professor began her lecture I scribbled "Hi! I'm Willow!"

My hand trembled a little as I nudged the paper in his direction. His eyes caught the movement and he didn't hesitate to scrawl back: "Hi! I'm Chris!"

It was on from then. We spent our lectures passing notes back and forth, asking about likes and dislikes, trying to make each other laugh and risk having all the eyes of the class on us after our barely muffled giggles/snorts. We thought we were being inconspicuous but I'm pretty sure we weren't fooling anyone.

I lived for our cutesy handwritten conversations, but I wanted more. I dropped hints about coffee and my favorite place to get it. The next class he was there waiting with a cup. He started walking me to my car after class, lingering for a chat with his long form leaned against my window. I found myself focusing less on what he was saying and willing him to make a move. As mentioned, I wasn't a virgin. I knew where I wanted this to go and I was growing bolder by the day, but also frustrated by my own impotence. I sensed he wanted it too - his arm brushed against mine too often while sitting side by side. Sometimes his leg would shift and touch mine and hesitate there and the blood rushing in my ears would drown out the lecture.

We had a rare July thundershower one hot afternoon as he walked me to my car. My tank top was getting soaked and my hair plastered to my forehead but I didn't care. I could feel it - today was the day that something would finally happen.

I leaned up against my car, hyper-aware of his gaze and meeting it unflinchingly.

He moved so suddenly it almost frightened me. He kissed me as the percussive raindrops drummed my car roof and pressed his body against mine. His hand grappled for the door handle, opened it, and lip-locked we fell into the backseat of the car. His hands were everywhere, sweat mingled with rain and steamed up the windows.

Breathless, we finally pulled apart before any clothes came off. We agreed that we could hardly wait to see each other in class again, and he walked away from me in the rain.

Our notes were much more explicit during our next class together. I was eager and throbbing. I knew what I wanted and was ready.

After class we drove off to a secluded wooded area near the school. He produced a condom and we had about as passionate sex as one could possibly have in a car with a brand new partner.

This is where the story goes south.

During the afterglow while he held me tight to his chest, he told me he was married.

It felt like the world crashed down on me. I had broken up with the cheating father of my child just over a year previous and I couldn't believe the position I was suddenly in. I had spent a month falling for this man, romanticizing him and our slow ascent and suddenly I knew clearly why he had been so hesitant to make a move on me.

"I really care about you. You're the most incredible girl I have ever met. It's like we were built for each other."

He spoke the words I wanted to hear. He told me about how his wife was 12 years his senior (he was 33, 13 years older than me) and sexless. He also talked about how badly they wanted children, but upon discovering that she was infertile, they pretty much stopped having sex altogether. He claimed they were currently little more than really considerate roommates.

I fell for it.

Our relationship was really fun at first. I let him meet my barely toddler-sized child early on. He loved coming over often and playing house with us. We were the family he never had and he talked about his desire for children often. He told me he loved me - us - early on. I reciprocated his affection gladly.

Eventually it would get dark outside, though, and he would leave for his real home.

I resented his wife at first. We had a lot of talks about her and I would try to present logical arguments for why it was time to leave. Weeks passed into months and it was never the right time.

I don't know exactly when it began to shift. There were some red flags: His extroversion and confidence morphed into leading comments about my behaviour and how it could improve. He made some racist comments on one occasion and his views on female body autonomy were not in line with mine. He was also religious and convinced that one day I would be smart enough to figure out that God did exist after all (I'm atheist). In retrospect he was also quite talented at gaslighting, but I didn't pick up on it at the time.

I started to pull away and he sensed it. He responded by granting one of my wishes - an entire night together - just me and him.

We arranged a night at a local upscale wellness resort. The room was beautiful and I still have lovely photos of our time there - but at 3 in the morning I woke up and I suddenly couldn't do it anymore: I broke up with him.

It shocked both of us, frankly. He didn't argue - just gathered up his things and drove away. I was stunned at the ease of it.

If only it was that easy.

We had finished our Narrative Lit class by this time, but had conspired to choose the same elective - Psychology - for the fall semester. This meant that we still had a class to attend together every other day.

He didn't use his cellphone for texting - too easy for his wife to trace - so we communicated exclusively through email when we were apart. It was common for him to sign his emails "I'll see you soon, but not soon enough." After we broke up, there were 6 of these emails before I had a chance to respond ranging in tone from brisk to playful to pleading.

I wasn't swayed. I told him that I had fallen out of love and that it was over. He responded by sending more emails, but when they went unanswered, he showed up at my house late that evening.

I didn't let him in. I was feeling rattled by his persistence, but I thought if I refused to answer the door he would go away. I could hear him calling for me, alternating between sweet loving words and irritated commands for me to talk him.

For context: I lived in the end unit of a row of townhouses. I had a front door, a back basement door, and an upper floor balcony. The front and back doors were locked, but I rarely locked the balcony door because it wasn't easily accessible from the ground.

I was sitting in my living room on the upper level (my son was asleep downstairs) when I heard a commotion in the direction of the balcony. I looked up to see him toppling over the railing. With a lurch I managed to lock the balcony door seconds before he could open it and let himself inside.

By this time I was shaking. He had gone from zero to creepy fast enough to give me whiplash. I barely recognized him as someone I had been so incredibly enamoured with - his pleas for me to let him inside were frenetic and he switched from wrenching on the door handle to trying to push the dining room window open.

It felt like I had entered someone else's nightmare as I fought to keep the window closed - begging him to leave while he begged me to let him in. I managed to wedge the security stick in that kept it from opening further than a small gap.

He demanded I let him in. I shook my head and asked him to leave as assertively as I could. He switched gears and told me that even though he had managed to climb up the second floor balcony, he didn't think that he would be able to safely climb back down.

I wavered, considering this. I didn't want him to get hurt. He saw my resolve weaken and promised that he would simply walk through the kitchen, down the stairs and out the front door if I let him in.

I tried one more time to encourage him to leave the way he came - he refused, citing possible injury. So I caved.

He lied. He stood there in my kitchen with his arms folded and demanded a better explanation for why I decided to end the relationship. I tried to usher him out but he was unmoveable. I couldn't even explain it - didn't want to explain it - just wanted him OUT. I told him that if he didn't leave right away I would call the police. I reached for my cellphone and he reacted quickly - he snatched it from my hands and held it high out of my reach.

My blood ran cold at this point. Here I was trapped in my home with this man, my child sleeping downstairs and my main source for calling for help was in his hands.

"I'll scream."

"No you won't."

I reached for it but it was no use.

"Just leave me alone," I begged.

"Not until you admit you love me."

"I don't. It's over. We're done."

"Those are just the lies you tell yourself because you're afraid to be close. BE REAL." He looked like he believed exactly what he was saying with full conviction. It was too much.

"Please. You're scaring me."

He softened. "Willow-Bee" he murmured and reached for me. I stiffened as his arms encircled me. He squeezed me tight, but as his hold loosened, I seized my chance and pulled away from him having grabbed my phone from his unsuspecting fingers.

I was already dialing a friend of mine (also happened to be a local police officer) as he chased me down the stairs. My police officer friend, Paul, answered on the second ring. Backed into a corner in the basement, I held my phone in front of me like a shield and spoke to my friend on speakerphone while Chris waited at arms-length, silently listening to my quivering voice explaining the situation.

Paul sternly admonished Chris to leave my house immediately and with a withering glare, Chris exited and drove away. After Chris left he checked in with me to be sure I was OK and recommended that I call the actual police. I explained that I still had some feelings for Chris, and didn't think he deserved to have his whole life blown up, despite how much he had scared me.

After we disconnected I wrapped myself up in several blankets, but it took a long time before I felt warm.

I wish I could say that the ordeal was over after this, but I would be lying. For weeks he emailed me and waited for me outside of my classes. We only shared one class, but he knew my schedule and would wait outside my other classes too. I walked silently past him and he would follow me, trying fruitlessly to get me to engage. He would also wait outside my house at night sometimes, and leave me loving messages on the sidewalk in chalk.

"I love you Willow-Bee" the chalk spelled in block letters.

So I stopped going to my classes. I did my best to stay caught up on the material by studying the slides posted online and reading the text book. Weeks passed without me being forced to see or talk to him. I had to attend the exams though, and sure enough, he was there outside my psychology exam, waiting.

I walked quickly towards my car and he followed, begging.

"Please! GO AWAY!" Months of feeling afraid and powerless were welling to the surface. I raced into the driver's seat of my car, but he was there, holding the door open against me as I tried to pull it closed. I tried uselessly to shut it, then scooted out the car.

He followed me as I did laps around the car. I threatened to call the police on him for harassment. He laughed at me.

I tried to reason with him. It was impossible. I darted for the driver's seat again and this time was successful at slamming the door shut before he could hold it open.

His response? He placed his foot under the driver's side tire and told me that in order to drive away I would have to run him over.

I so badly wanted to do it. Weeks of looking over my shoulder, of reading his emails with shivers. He rambled for paragraphs, accusing me of being pregnant with his child, mostly. Promising me everything, accusing me of lying about my feelings etc.

Here is one of the many emails left unanswered:

​

"I called you but I didn't hear back.... I'm worried that you are hurting and/or in trouble!! :( I can't drop by to check on you..... You keep pretending I'm not welcome there :P

I'll send you this so that you know whats going on, I'll call you again as well.

Do I Understand what and why you are doing this? NO I really don't! Who would? Especially when we both know its bs.

I have ideas and guesses....There is no way to understand it. I don't know what's really going on. I'm lacking whatever information you think you need to hide. I don't have the real information. I would LIKE to know, However that is your prerogative. I wish you wouldn't hide and hold back, but.... We have both said so much already.

So no, I don't understand. I hope that reading the messages I sent matter to you, Actually I'm sure that they do. We both know that you care, that we both care far more than we ever let on.

I did ask you to do me the courtesy of telling me whats really going on, even IF you'll "never see me again"..... as you say. Such a waste!

You don't need to drive me away. You should really have a hard think about all that I said in those messages. You don't HAVE to pretend all this BS... And you don't HAVE to hide the truth from me. Or have I guessed it already? That you are pregnant and full of fear? And that you don't want to be "the cause" of my marital breakdown...Well your not! A catalyst yes, but your NOT the cause. You just helped me realise that I COULD be happy. And I was, I'd STILL be if you'd drop the act and be real with me. We both were happy. I'd love to have that again, even for a short time, ANY time would be worth it and more. Knowing that I could be fulfilled, and so were you... But is it also that you are worried about your condition, so you think why invest your heart and love (already there!) into us anyway? Maybe you think its "easier" to drive me away and just waste away with your personal misery and not have a love to share with.... As I say I have ideas, maybe closer to the mark than I know, maybe not... You tell me. I dare you. "

​

So here I am, in the driver's seat of my car, with my married exboyfriend stubbornly sticking his leg in the way of my wheel. I had two choices I could drive over him, or I could call for help.

It was at this point that I finally called the police.

He figured out I was talking to the cops early enough to deke out before they could arrive. They took my statement and sent a member to his home to warn him to stop contacting me.

He sent one final email.

​

" This is the 2nd time you have WAY crossed the line of decent behaviour. Now to the business at hand.

I'm asking you to stop harassing me and stop threatening me.

If you have ANY pictures of me at this time I demand that you delete them. I do not give you permission to have anything like that at this time.

I do not want to have to inform the police that you stalked me along with [Paul, my cop friend], who miss-used police equipment to fraudulently attain my personal information and then gave it to his civilian ex-girlfriend, your self, so that you could find out about me. I'm sure that breach of trust, and many others, would not be well looked upon. Or that you have made personal threats to harm me or to otherwise harm my family. You have gone way to ridiculous with this. Stop bothering me. I told you that I care, but I am not interested in you attacking me or your threats against me.

IF you can be civil and reasonable you may explain your poor actions via email. If not, I choose to forgive you any way. Good bye, stop harassing me. "

​

A gas-lighter to his last breath.

submitted by /u/willowygirl [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/3cN8Bjg

[thelouisianauproar]

Louisiana Uproar - Chapter 19

Summary: The budding Dottie vs Alma rivalry turns violent; The Jetson Organization looks for more companies to invest; Leo Galante comes to visit. 

My schedule is full these days. My job is to build New Bordeaux and I plan to do that, despite Don Danna.

“I like this one.” I say, pinning a paper to the board. We are going over the businesses in New Bordeaux to see what is worth buying. A staff wide brainstorm---all seven of us. “Where is that one?” “The Del Ray Hollow”

“That will go nicely with the condos being built on River Street.” Emily, one of my employees adds.

“You know.” I pause. “I don’t want to limit us.” I say to the team. “We’re building that ristorante and I’d like to find another place for that--- out of this.” I gesture, “but let’s get creative. Give me more ideas thing---family, fun, or adult get together. I want to see more.” They simply look at me. “Good job, everyone. Betty, Could I borrow you?” “On my way.” She collects her utensils and we walk back up to my penthouse.

“Hear anything about River Row?” “Same old tricks they tell me.” Betty starts. “That’s just great.” “They’ve confirmed what Gleason said.” “I’m feeling like Alma hasn’t made this a priority.” “You have every reason to feel this way.” She pauses. “It has only been a week. Once more chance?” “....and a warning.” I concede. “Thank you.”

“Dot.” Camille says. She manages to buzz me as soon as I take my seat. “Camille.” “Ray called. Leo Galante will be here in two weeks and he needs us to coordinate his schedule.” “Seriously?” “It’s what he says.” “Thank you. Please let me know what you need from me.” I pause. “Could you get Alma Perez on the line?” “One moment.” There is a brief pause. I hear Camille return to the line. “She’s unavailable. Would you like me to leave a message?” “Just let her know that I am looking for her and would like a call back.” “Sure thing.”

---

“Dottie.” Trav’s face lights up when I appear at his doorway. He stands up from desk. “Great to see you in the flesh.”

“What am I doing here, Travie?” I ask taking a seat in front of his desk. “Straight to the point. I like it.” He says. This makes me chuckle. “I’m sorry. I’ve had quite the week.”

“Sorry to hear that. Drink?” “Sure.” He stands and pours for both of us. Trav brings it back and sits with me. Our glasses clink before we take a drink. “One of my friends....he’s a freelancer---an architect. I came over to his place and he has some magnificent writings. I told him that I knew you and you are looking for ideas.” There is a silence. “The least you can do is look, right?”

“I will, gladly.” I wink and take another drink. “Great! His name is Sean Levy.” “How are you? How’s your family?” “Well. Thanks. My kids are sick, so you know what that means.” “Don’t have kids?” “Exactly.” At that moment, his assistance comes to the door. “Mr. Levy is here.” “Send him in.” He says, cheerfully, before taking his seat behind his desk. I watch the blonde young man walk into the office.

“Sean, my boy---come on in.” Sean walks straight up to me and we shake hands. “A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Jetson.” “Call me Dorothy, or Dot.” I nod.

Sean gives a full presentation to me. Three ideas and locations around New Bordeaux. I couldn’t help but to have stars in my eyes when I speak to him. An aquarium downtown, a new park in the Hollow, an amusement park in River Row. There’s no way that I can afford this, but a girl can dream---or pretend.”

“Look who it is.” Nicki is sitting at the balcony of our penthouse. We kiss before I take a seat. “It’s a beautiful view at night.” “It is.” She passes me her cigarette. I take two puffs and pass it back. “I hear the Galante fellow, you were telling me about, is coming to town.” “He is.” “Ray’s asking for all kinda information for each district.” That reminds me that I should check on Morty. “He must be the real deal.” “He really is.” I take the cigarette again and take a puff.

“Should I be nervous?” “I wouldn’t tell him that we are gay.” I chuckle, “but it seems like a quick visit and we’ll show him a good time. I’m surprised he’s coming---he’s a very old man.”  I start to observe our view of New Bordeaux. I sigh. “How am I going to impress him with this?” “Babe.” She responds. “Give yourself a break. You’re just getting started.” “I just feel a lot of doubt.” “You shouldn’t.” “Nicki, you’re...running a great business-” “With a lot of head starts and a boss who just wants us to earn.” She holds my hand. “Danna doesn’t understand legitimacy. If he doesn’t want to run it. You do it.” “I am running it.” “Yet, you slow down and wait for him to catch up.”She kisses my hand. “Sometimes, I just dream that you’ll do really well, like we both know you can, and you’ll bring me with you.” What a warming thought. “I would always bring you with me.”

---

On the Friday before Galante’s visit. I decided to head to the Ristorante. Alma has not been returning my calls, it’s time to take matters into my own hands.

Betty drove Camille and me to the Ristorante for seafood. The night began normally, even lively.

“There it is.” Betty gestures with her face. There is a drunk man at the bar.

“He’s just drunk.” Camille says, “There’s nothing wrong with getting drunk at the bar.”

“Yes, but if you get rowdy with the staff. There’s different.”

I made eye contact with Mr. Gleason and he walks over to me. “Is he belligerent, yet?” I look up at him. “He’s not supposed to be here, entirely.” He tells us. “We banned him.” “So, how did he get in?” It’s rhetorical. Alma’s guys let him in. I think Gleason believes he’s in trouble. He says nothing. “Tell the boys to have him escorted.” He goes to leave, but I pull him back. “You’re doing a great job.” I pat him as he leaves.

About an hour later, and I have drink or two more in me. All three of us do. “That is a shame.” Betty shakes her head.

“What?” “The drunk is back.” “Oh no.” Camille brings her face to the palm of her hand.  

“He’s back?” I look around. My surprise disappears when I actually see him.  “Okay, I have had enough.” I stand and walk outside. I walk straight to one of Alma’s guys. “Excuse me.” I say, getting in his face.

“The fuck am I paying you for?” Are my first words. He looks slightly surprised, but I don’t give him a chance to speak. “There is a man in my establishment, who has been asked out. He is back. Why is that?”

Another man walks up to us. “We’ll get him now, Ms. Jetson.” “Quickly.” I say. “Then I want my explanation.” I watch them leave. When I look over, Betty and Camille are standing near me. The men walk the drunk out, he’s being held up by two of his friends.  I watch him vomit on the ground. That’s just great. “This would not be happening if you would have kept him out.” I continue to berate the security and the drunk. I want them to feel this.

“Come on, lady!” One of his friends tells me. “We’re leaving.” “Not fast enough.” I start. “Any longer and I will tell these men to get rough.” As if they’ve listened to me before. The friends turn and comes face to face with me. This is just more proof that Alma’s boys are not going enough.

I feel something bulgy and wet hit my chest. I look down and it’s black. The man spit tobacco on my chest! Alma’s men draw their guns. “Do not fire!” I yell. The last thing I need is a murder in front of my establishment. “I want you to feel this. I want you to feel the weight of your mistake for  a long time.”  I point for them to leave. The men roughly remove him.

“What is that?” Camille starts to clean me off.

“Tobacco juice. That son of a bitch.”

“I want to see Alma, first thing. Even if I have to come to her”.

---

The next morning, I came to meet Alma at the warehouse. I’m sure she’s been expecting me---I’ve been expecting her.  

“Good morning.” Alma joins me in her office. “Hello.” Admittedly, I am nervous.

“So, I heard about the fiasco last night.” She offers me a cigarette, I decline. “What can I do for you?” “I’ll tell you what I was looking for. Tighter security, to be taken seriously, your men didn’t even know I was there.” “So we slipped on security. I’ll work on that.” That’s it?

“You said that two weeks ago.” I put my hand on her desk. It dawns on me and it’s time for me to speak from the heart. “You’re not different than the men you sent to me. You look weak, Alma. Is that just how you all do business?”

Alma and I both realize what I just said. “You wanna say that to me again?” Shit.

“S-sure.” I choke. “Alma. Let’s figure this out-” I have to be careful. I am on Alma’s territory, with all her men. “Look, I didn’t want to be in charge of this job.” She spits out. “They shouldn’t tell me what to do with my men. You wanna go legit and cater to those racist fucks; the ones who helped Marcano? Fine. This is not what Vito died for.” Jesus. Did she breathe during that put down?

“Fine, Alma.” I shrug. “You’re fired. Pull your men out of the ristorante.”

“I can do that.” I leave her office and I’m steaming. She says I make Vito’s death in vain? This is all Vito wanted----I think.

“The Jetson Organization.” “Camille. I’m pulling Alma’s guys from the ristorante.” “Oh.”

“Please speak to Betty and Gleason.” “...Are you alright?”

“Fine. Thanks.” I take a breath before hanging up. I close the door with my foot before walking into the factory.

Nicki is talking to someone next to a shipment. Her eyes get big, and then relax, when she spots.

“Excuse me.” She pats him. We never show affection in public. Instead, we settle for a hug. “Can you talk?” “Sure. Let’s walk.” Nicki tells me. “I’m pulling Alma’s guys from the Ristorante.”

“I’m sorry it’s gone that far.”

“She told me, Vito didn’t die for me to work legit.”

“Ouch. The fuck is her problem?” “I think she made it clear.” “I guess she did.” “I’m here on business, Nicki.” “Oh. She realizes. “Dot-” “I do need security.” I pause. “I could ask Emmanuel but-” “Babe, you can’t ask anyone.” She stops me. “This is Alma’s district. We need to think about this Dot.” “You’re right. You’re right.” “We’ll discuss this tonight.” She holds my shoulders. “Okay?” “Okay.” I’ve had to do some apologizing to Ron Gleason about the lack of security. He’s so worried.

“Saggio Residence.” “...I need security.” “For you? Dot?” “For the Ristorante in River Row. Anyone but Alma’s guys.”

“That’s messy.” Ray sighs. “Let me see what I can do, kid.”

“Thank you.” “And, hey.” Here is goes. “We’ll discuss this. Goodnight.”

----

“Good morning, kid.”

“Morning.” Ray and I met in my office, first thing in the morning. “I’m not gonna keep Nick’s men in there long. I hope that’s not your intention.” “It wasn’t.” I say. “Alma and I are not working well together.”

“Tsk, Tsk. You know, I bet it’s personal.” He starts, “You shouldn’t take things so personally. You’re gonna make this affect business.” “She made it so we can’t avoid that.” “Look, Alma did take some convincing about the security job.” He starts to light up a cigarette. “And I’m supposed to deal with her being purposefully difficult?” “Dottie.” Camille buzzes. “Camille.” “Patrick Conti is here for your meeting with Ray.” Patrick is Alma’s boss.

I look at Ray and my shoulders drop.

“Send him up.” Ray says, in  a girlish tone.

“Ray. Dottie.” Pat greets us. “It’s been too long.” He extends his hand to shake. What the hell right? My issue isn’t with him. “Of course.” We shake. “How are you, Pat?”

“Well, I hear we have a situation on our hands.” He takes a seat. “Thanks for making it, Pat.”

“Dot, let me apologize for Alma.” He says, “Yes, we’ve had some difficulty persuading her to the importance of legitimate business. I believe in it, however.”

Jesus, Patrick is turning on the Empire Bay charm.

“Allowing people to cause a ruckus is not what we do.” He says, “She reports to me. Allow me to bring in my men.” “Patrick, your men are her men. Tell me how this would be any different?” “Dot.” Ray stops me.

“They will be kept in check. You have my word.” “Thank you.” We shake hands. “Effective immediately. Please.” “I have a meeting in town.” He fixes his suit. “I’m glad we can agree.” “Goodbye, Pat.” Ray walks him out. “Best deal, I could get ya’.”

“What did you do?” “Some snooping.” He says. “You gotta find it admirable that he came here to appease ya.” “Sure.” “Think about the business aspect for now on, I’m begging you.”

“I hope you’re begging Alma too.” “You two ladies are rough customers.” He says. “I took the time to do this with Leo Galante in town. I expect you both on your best behavior when he meets with all of us.”

---

I had not visited with Mr. Leo Galante during his short trip to New Bordeaux. The Don and Ray have been taking him around the city to different rackets. Finally, before he left to return to Empire Bay, he would meet with all of us.

We all sat for a quick conference.

“Thank you all for coming out to meet me.” Leo says, at the head of the conference table. “This honors me.”

“It’s not many times that I will be able to make a trip to your beautiful city, before it is my time. We must get onto the business, at hand. I have a plan to control all of the United States----to ensure all our friends have jobs. We will build construction fronts, invest in the best companies and charities. We will own the United States. All of it. We’ll make a fortune and the law won’t be able to touch us.”

It’s as if Leo is speaking a speech, written just for me.

After his speech, he is meeting all of us.  I found him speaking to the Don and Alma.

“Here is Dottie, now.” The Don gestures. “Mr. Galante. It’s such a privilege to see you again.” He’s aged considerably, over the last two or three years, he’s now in a wheelchair. We shake hands, and I kiss his hand. “You as well. David tells me that you have really grown in your position.” The Don is blowing smoke, I wonder if Danna has even noticed. “I work very hard.”

“Good to see.” He pauses. “Let’s take a little walk, you and me.” I look over at the Don. He gives me a nod.

“Alright.” I push Galante’s wheelchair farther away from where anyone else is. So we can sit together. “What can I do for you, Mr. Galante?” “I’m not under the impression David has a clue what you do around here.” Those words catch me off guard. “I’m sure he does, sir. I manage his legitimate investments.”

“Investing in what?” “Well, he’s-” The look Mr. Galante gives me warns me not to go on.

“People like Danna and Ray have only worked under the table. They don’t respect what legitimacy can bring to the organization. I bet that’s frustrating for you.” “Oh. He listens to me and-” I know to respect my Don, in front of his boss. I shrug. I don’t know what to say. Leo looks like he’d know if I was lying. You never wanna lie to men like Leo Galante.

“Stay close to him, kid. He’ll need you.” He says.

“I’m not going anywhere, sir.”

After Leo’s exit with the Don. I feel someone stand directly next to me. “Hey.” I hear the Cuban accent. “Next time more respect to me, huh? Or else you will pay for it.”

My shoulders drop.

“When didn’t I show you respect, Alma?” Her body turns to face mine and we are face to face.  

“During that meeting.” I try to use my notebook to create a barrier between us, so we aren’t chest to chest. “Next time, more respect to me.” She thinks she’s intimidating me. “Alma. I respect you as an earner. As a person--- you could use some work.” “I don’t know what your corporate friends mean when I say more respect, but here, I expect respect.” “That’s enough, Alma.” Nicki adds. She, Emmanuel, and Enzo are near us.

“You wanna let that temper get the better of you?” “I’m fine.” “Me too. I’m great.” I wink.

Nicki stands between us. That is where I see my chance.

I grab Nicki by the hand and yank her out of the way. I launch forward and punch Alma in the face. It knocks her down, but it doesn’t knock her out. In fact, she pops up and lunges at me.

Unfortunately for her, we are both forced to separate. I feel that I’ve won this battle.

The italians in the organization find it hilariously entertaining that I cold cocked Alma. Emmanuel and Nicki gave me shit for hitting her. I don’t care. No one can tell me that they have never wanted to punch Alma in the face. I needed to punch her---it was a boost to my confidence.

[meredithwertheim-blog]

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