#cons of being too anxious to talk w ppl

[uniltsatirey]

Someone scream at me cause I fckin 🫠 why does my dialogue sound so fckin awkward and unrealistic

I’m really trynna finish writing this series so I can auto-schedule it 🙄🙄

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS

hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D

im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!

evan: 

isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this

evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)

soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)

i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes

jared:

jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK

a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that

not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right? 

can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.

arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.

zoe:

not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor

a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.

very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!

very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.

thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too

alana:

smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.

probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.

dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?

very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.

connor:

we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better 

artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)

very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)

to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.

honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes​! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)

OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask

jeremy:

anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.

jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).

which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head). 

im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him

extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids. 

that last part was just a PSA for ppl.

lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.

honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.

michael

not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.

a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-

okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this! 

imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.

just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.

sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy. 

like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3

christine

chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good

loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?

very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao

very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal

writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.

but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.

jake

god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character

he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.

sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.

a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing

he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge

i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.

rich

GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.

squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.

post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip

a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)

rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read. 

great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck” 

would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.

chloe

chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.

casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”

so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu

has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.

i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such. 

yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.

brooke

more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)

very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.

imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse

emotional, imo. fairly feminine.

its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry

jenna

not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot

probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere

bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.

thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...

very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.

probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.

[pacman-tattoo]

I got a notification that you posted a text post talking about your ocs? But you deleted it I guess bc I can't find it? I would love to hear about your ocs

:0 

i have…. many ocs. a lot of them i rp with @commando-76​ so like, theres shit some of em have gone through!

ok im gonna put this under a readmore because i ramble a lot about my ocs bc i love em!!! so much!!!!

also how many ppl have notifs on for me what the heck

theres jaden and welton! my babes! jadens a huge bookworm who loves ballet a lot and kinda rly likes stars a lot, and welton is his best friend whos a gamer and i like to imagine he has a youtube channel and a decent number of fans? like, not too popular but he has a decent following i guess??? both have been my ocs for yea r s….

jadens kinda quiet and reserved a bit but he runs a book critique blog tbh and welton promotes it a lot on his channel. welton’s very extroverted and i guess its a sort of opposites attract thing with jaden when it comes to their friendship? welton would 100% punch a dude for jaden tho.

welton and jaden have been friends since they were like, 10-ish? they met and jaden was reading harry potter and weltons like ‘u look like him. i’LL BE UR RON WEASLEY!!!’ and it was the cutest thing ever because welton just wants to be his friend and??? that appealed to jaden and jadens like ‘yeah, sure, whatever’ and then jadens mom died and welton practically lived at his house to comfort him as best as he can and that’s when they kinda became best friends tbh and they actually dated in college :0 they broke up and are in happy relationships with other ppl but jaden is kinda pining for welton and gets anxious over his thoughts and i can guarantee u he’s had a panic attack bc he’s worried about these thoughts my poor son

theres sachiyo and avi - they’re friends with jaden n welton (and tekina (scotts oc) and deo (emma’s oc))! sachi i’ve had as an oc since like…. seventh or sixth grade and she’s come a lot way honestly. she’s a beauty blogger who loves her cosplayer bf and cooking! she’s also my prettiest oc imo. avi is a cosplayer who never sleeps bc he’s working on orders for other ppl and he likes to make sure he gets details down because details are important to him tbh! they actually met at a con and avi awkwardly called sachi pretty and she found him adorable because u get this tol cosplayer dude just kind of like…. w ow 

they are v happy and share an apartment together and probably dance to owl city or somethin in the kitchen and its v sweet. avi’s a gentle babe who loves his gf a lot and considers himself lucky a lot and they’re just??? very cute and sweet and i love em.

those are like, my main babes honestly but there’s also icarus and melody :0 who i dont rly talk about but ill mention em anyway

icarus is my edgy hot topic son (who actually has a twin that works at a hot topic and gets teased over that shit because loki knows icarus’s tastes and clothing size so he’s just like ‘haha fuck u bro’ and brings him shit) who has…….. been through a lot…….. including: the death of a good friend, his twin’s gf basically being kidnapped for fantasy-related shit (she’s… connected to a nature god? thats the easiest way to describe it tbh), nearly watching his now-boyfriend die, and shit that involves his “twin” (who… is a reaaaaally long story) and his older brothers (tobias and paris, paris being a “””twin””” which, like i said, is a rly long story). let my boy rest even tho i wont. get wrecked, icarus. kind of an edgy fucker who gets in fights and smokes pot sometimes even tho his soon-to-be-a-doctor brother is like ‘icarus no’ (to both things) and he’s just??? a stubborn asshole honestly. why does he have a bf??? no one knows.

melody! is! my other babe! she’s a cutie who was kinda based off of a self insert i made with i was like…. 9-10 for the professor layton series and has come a rly long way since then. she loves her dads and her bf a lot even tho he is tRASH haha love ya scott if u see this makoto is not trash i love my boy and is just??? an overall cutie???? she likes cute clothes n stuff and she’s also been through a lot of shit and she doesn’t know… her bf is lying to her….. scott wtf….. why is makoto like this……….. honestly i dont blame makoto because she’d possibly dump him tbh

uh i guess if u… happen to have any questions then feel free to ask em i guess? i love my cuties and questions help me flesh em out i guess so :0

also thank u?? i like talking about my ocs sometimes and i havent even rly thought about them in months so

[convndrums]

finallY HOLY *BLEEP* it’s here.... destroy the mf’n like button on  m’post if ur interested in plotting n i’ll slide right into ur ims [ kai vc ] kees kees xx

- ̗̀  BOWIE DAISE HARMON━ INVENTED WIGS   ̖́ -

aLRIHT so this is bowie/bo x

works as a receptionist in a tattoo parlor (squid’s !nk, added 2 the locations page xx) but she def knows how to tattoo ppl but does that mostly @ social gatherings w friends, parties n stuff xx

kween of wigs ! (thought i was indecisive with kstew’s hair but boi......) dyes her hair a lot but still would wear a wig if she wants 2 complete an aesthetic. 

dark™ n it shows but she usually keeps up a #lit persona despite the depressión, past addictions, failed career choices and anxieté.

sings. s i n g s. deliberately does awful at karaoke nites bc she’s not an asshole x

got into singing as a career and her record label ruined her life consistently for two years until she wrote her damn debut album and was ultimately happy it didn’t do well (she meant for it to and if it didn’t, she was absolutely considering sue of cide again she was DONE) so they’d drop her ass and they did and she’s revived but too traumatized to get into it again, fawk that. 

had her v*ner phase (drag me). known SOLELY by her association with a circle of popular n lame viners alike and her featuring them in her mundane ass vines, nothing else (six seconds out of a conv with no context, zooms in on them with music playing in the bg like there’s zero creativity/effort n complete boredom here thats her #Niche n there’s humor to it, she supposes) and then being featured in their vlogs, either fully shown or her distinct fucked up laugh in the bg, you’d know. 

“i look like a little boy.” ---- bowie, at the mirror. 5 times a day. she does. wears platform heels for added height and night slips as outing wear whenever she could.

- ̗̀  SHAHEEN YOUSEF BIN BAZ ━ INVENTED MESS   ̖́ -

n this is shah

he is something.... been through someTHINGS mostly but still is something

a brilliant nerd; used to hack purely for the skill and the distraction from his schoolwork, currently a hacker for a living. jobless essentially but it brings good money.

used to be in a hacker collective but sort of left them when shit went down and he had to ghost and pull away for a while, but he still keeps contact.

basically, found something he shouldn't have found, got roped into something he didn’t really sign up for, met people who sort of helped him out of that mess only to pull him into a path he didn’t think he’d find himself in, so now he has been involved in multiple cons and such by a bunch of people (digitally; as a hacker in the comfort of his preferred area mostly) and ultimately had to be present during a heavy altercation that he’s scarred by but then again... what isn’t he scarred by.

he doesn’t want to come as close to that again, though. it really did fuck his shit up and he’s known to be ANXIOUS AS ALL HELL, so that was too much. he’s still calming down and it’s been seven months

is currently relaxing in his apartment at soho, tending to his beautiful garden that he loves so fucking much, learning to cook stuff other than ramen bc he’s not broke & in college anymore and he has time, minding his own business, being serene n enjoying his monies.

trigger-anxious. never shot a gun in his entire life until seven months ago and he absolutely will not hesitate to do it again if pressured, b*tch (has done it. multiple of times. when things get way too intense with difficult people during his ‘job’ and the nerves were wrackin’, hand was twitchin’) some switch in his head turned the fuck off, hence the serene lifestyle he desperately needs bc man if he doesn’t sort his head out.......

tender. talks in a very.... soft tone. not dead, but dying inside but there’s a light; a flickering, bright one in there.....

muslim and isn’t really lowkey or highkey about it. questions his faith but has his own ideas of it and is entirely his own individual. 

mumbles in arabic which he’s fluent in along with urdo. grew up in very ethnic family and skypes his aunts every saturday.

a good friend who tries; will be of support if he can give it. holds conversations well even if he’s not feeling them bc he’s not r00d and usually avoids outings or any type of social situation that would have them there for too long. if not, he’d find himself leaving every once in a while to breathe