#conniefers

[onebookcharacter]

a christmas gift exchange with my friend @meilstroms. he made me a naruto oneshot and made him one too since we`ve been binging watching it together! (i’ll upload mine to ao3 once i get an account there)

   It had been a while since Sasuke had come back to report on his mission. Really, it had been a long time since she'd heard from him at all, but for once Naruto thought to tell her Sasuke was coming, and invited her along.

   Currently, they walked along a path between the the trees, marked by faded footsteps that scarred the dirt and made the grass know better than to grow. They did so calmly, though her mind raced and her heart jumped in her chest, and she could barely keep a grin off her face. Naruto chatted away about his week, and Sakura nodded, replying every once in a while. For some reason, her attitude didn't match Naruto's chatterbox one, as it usually did. She was nervous, yes, but mostly it was because she had a plan.

   “And then, Hinata and I started competing! Out of nowhere!” he spoke, gesticulating widly as usual. “It was like nothing I've ever seen her do! She ate seven bowls of ramen!” he laughed, a hand on his head while the other was thrown in a wide gesture. “I can`t do that!”

   She shot him an incredulous look from the corner of her eye.

   “Okay, maybe I can, but not in such a short amount of time. Ya know?”

   Sakura chuckled. “Yes, Naruto, I know.”

   “Ah– We should be getting there soon.” his demeanor visibly changed, then. More concentrated, less agitated.

   The treetops in their surroundings provided cool shadows, from which underneath little sun made its way to her eyes, and the breeze whistled in her ears. Sakura placed her bag down behind a tree and looked around, not identifying any markings in the wood or earth. It crossed her mind that perhaps their meeting place changed from time to time, or maybe, she worried, they didn`t want to reveal to her their actual–

   Her thoughts were interrupted by rustling, ever so quiet to non-trained ears. Feet lightly flattening the grass underneath it. She spotted black moving behind the shadows of the trees. Naruto went in first, only a few steps forward, and along with him Sasuke took form under the dim light under canopy.

   “Hey.” greeted Naruto, to which Sasuke only replied with a short hum of acknowledgement. Sakura took the few steps that separated her from her team, and Sasuke's expression changed drastically – well, as drastically as his expressions could, so his eyes widened half a centimeter, perhaps. So maybe their meeting place changed from time to time, seeing as it wasn't Sasuke's idea to change it, and Naruto would likely not think of it.

   “What are you doing here?” he didn't mean it sound that rude, as usual. Fom him, it sounded like a genuine question.

   “Ouch. So I can't say hi to a old teammate?” she teased anyway, a hand on her heart.

   “That's not what I meant.”

   “I know.” she grinned, which made him sulk, which in turn gave her a sense of accomplishment, clear in her broadening smile. “But I did want to say hi and check how your mission's going. Plus I am a medic, so if you got any injuries, I can take a look at them.” at that, he rose a brow. Did she really think he couldn't take care of himself at this point? That there were that many people that would be able to injure him badly enough that he'd need a medic? His expression seemed to ask. The questions, however silent, made her roll her eyes.

   “Anyway,” Naruto, sensing that that conversation could go on for an unecessary amount of time – which, coming from Naruto, was an offense to both of them –, decided to speak up. “Some of our ANBU gathered this information and I thought it should be given in person.” and he handed him a slip of paper, which was tucked under his cloak.

   “I have leads on the Land of Earth, and I`ll be going there next.” Sasuke replied, simply. Naruto nodded, and so did Sakura.

   “Okay.” she replied, granting her his attention, and went back to the tree and picked up her bag. “That`s great! You're going my way!”

   “I... I`m what now?” in his astonishment, his  voice cracked, granting him a look of utmost glee from his teammates. He decided to never speak again.

   “Well,” Sakura continued once she had managed to contain her giggles. “you see, I'm going that way, because some people in the Hidden Grass need some tips on medical justus, and you know me, always willing to help and all.” she shrugged nonchalantly. “So that's what I'll be doing there, and I was hoping we could accompany each other.”

   “Hm.” he made a sour expression and glared at Naruto, who looked away, lips pressed in a thin line, like he had nothing to do with this. He decided to break his vow to never speak again. “And you're going to keep up with me?”

   “Psh, please.” she waved a hand dismissevely. “I can do it on my tiptoes.”

   “Okay. No.”

   She blinked.

   “Wha– No?!”

   “Yes.”

   “So...”

   “So yes. It's a no.”

   “Wow, Sasuke. Wow.”

   “Tsk, a real ladies' man.” commented Naruto, arms crossed, head shaking.

   “Shut up, idiot.” it was Sasuke`s turn to roll his eyes. “You're not coming with me.”

   “Because you think I can't keep up?”

   “No, because it'll be dangerous.”

   “And I, of all people, can't take care of myself.” the sarcasm was clear, as was her impantience.

   “That`s not what I meant.” he let out in a sigh.

   “Listen, it won't even be for a long time! Besides, I can heal myself and you on the way.” she felt she was almost begging, but on this matter she might have to.

   “I don't want you to get hurt in the first place.” he looked away, frowning. She sighed. That`s what she was afraid of.

   “I`m not thirteen anymore, Sasuke. I can take care of myself.” he was about to reply, but she cut him off. “I am not weak.” she said, assertive, determined. He knew that, she was sure, but it always seemed hard for him to let the fact seep into his mind.

   “That's not it.” She knew. She knew it wasn`t that he thought was weak, per se, but rather that he has to protect the people he cares about, otherwise it`s his fault they got hurt in the first place. But that wasn`t what she thought.

   “You don't have to protect me.” she took a step forward. “It may have been a while, I know, but you can't have forgotten that I can hold my own on the battlefield. I'm not a little girl, and you don't have to protect me. I'm grateful that you do it anyway, but I have gone on many missions where you weren't there to be my shield,” he shifted his weight at that. “and here I still am. Besides, who told I don't want to protect you either?”

   He seemed to think at that, eyes locked with hers. He was seriously considering her words.

   “But I can't do that if you won't let me.”

   Again he shifted his weight, uncertain. On one hand, she was right. On the other, he still didn't want her to be hurt. It wasn't that he thought she was weak, or that she still saw her as the lovestruck thirteen year old. No, that vision of hers had faded long ago. But as he'd said over and over again, he didn't want to watch the people he cares about die ever again. Them being hurt only reminded him of his fears. He was still overprotective.

   And yet, looking at her hopeful expression, he really considered it for a second. Was he going to regret this? Was she going to be a distraction? Was he going to hurt with guilt in front of her, for taking her away from her own loved ones for his selfish purposes? As much as he wanted a normal life alongside his friends...

   “... Alright.” he replied in a sigh, before he could overthink and regret his own decision.

   Sakura beamed, barely containing her glee in one smile.

   “But if you get hurt I'll send you straight back to the village.” he completed quickly.

   “... Young lady!” Naruto added, in a lower tone than his own, one finger raised in the air. Sakura laughed, and even Sasuke let his lips be pulled upwards, even if he still rolled his eyes.

   “I don't sound like that.”

   “You kinda did, though.” Sakura replied.

   “Hm... I'm starting to change my mind.”

   “You wouldn't.”

   He let out a long hum in reply.

   She let out a light scoff. “Well, sorry, Master Uchiha, I didn't mean to be, you know, annoying.” she looked away, pouting, a hand brought to her cheek dramatically. She had thought of using it as her trump card, but now that he'd already accepted it, she might as well use it gratuitously. And as she felt a glare to her cheek and Naruto holding in a breath, she could tell it worked.

   It felt like an eternity where she had to hold back a shit-eating grin, as he scowled and Naruto tried not to laugh. She looked from the corner of her eye, sad expression maintained, and Sasuke immediately turned back, starting to walk. She kinda hoped he'd blushed, even if it wasn't very like him.

   The fact that he was just walking, too, meant he wasn't going to ditch her there at the first opportunity, which just made her beam more, like a weight was being lifted off her chest. He was letting her in.

   Still walking, Sasuke put a hand up, saying goodbye, and Sakura was quick to catch up with him.

    “Oh– Bye, Naruto!” she waved.

   “Bye, guys!” Naruto waved back, now laughing openly. He'd have a good story to tell Hinata back in the Leaf.

   It had been a minute or so that they had been walking, Sakura`s glee clear as the sun in her broad smile. The silence between them was comfortable. Amazingly, Sasuke was the one to break it first.

   “I hate you sometimes.”

   “Hm.” she hummed as if thinking, a finger tapped her chin. “Nah. You don`t.”

   “I do.”

   “Nope.”

   The corner of his lips were pulled up, and though she bet he was still considering just disappearing at the first opportunity, she judged he was happy to have her along. Hopefully he`d wait for her once they were at the Hidden Grass, though she wouldn`t be surprised if he didn`t. She didn`t actually need to come back so soon, and could just... Keep going. With him. She`d go back later. He did have to report to Naruto eventually, right? Yeah, that would be fine by her.

   “Try to keep up.” he said suddenly, pulling her away from her thoughts. She heard the familiar woosh of his jump as he took to the branches on the trees.

   “Ah– Hey!” she jumped too, laughing, taken aback by his sudden playfulness.

   She wouldn`t mind accompanying him some more.

[lattetimes]

roast game grumps 👀

roast them about what exactly?

their racism?

their transphobia?

the dropping of the N-word at least 5 times during the Sonic ‘06 playthrough (when JonTron was on the show)?

[kokushibe]

Minato or Obito?

i choose the konoha’s yellow flash!!

[theyearis20xx]

I could not agree more with your position on having a woman in The 25. It's been a huge wake-up call seeing just how large of a portion of the community is legitimately /scared/ of a woman "invading" their competitive gaming environment. They fail to grasp what the purpose of The 25 panel even is, and how someone's eligibility for it is determined by more than just their competitive expertise. I've never been more disappointed in my fellow Melee players.

yeah the moment you take a step back and think about how we’re talking about a single person being on the 25 it really comes down on you how fucking pathetic this is. These melee dudes, like dudes in gaming overall or even life in general, aren’t willing to admit what they don’t know on the matter, and they’re not willing to learn. They can acknowledge that there aren’t a lot of women in smash and it’s probably no coincidence but every damn time a woman brings a grievance to the table nothing comes of it.

And I love that too, pretending like the only thing the 25 is gonna vote on is about shit like setups controllers and in game rules (definitely something that people other than skilled players are qualified to discuss btw that’s why the 25 is like more than half Not Players) when they’ve already shit themselves over being “censored on smash.gg” cuz they no longer get to pre-register themselves as ManlyUglyLookingT***nyF***ot to make the trans girl TO uncomfortable (not making that one up for the record)

[saltygempearl]

Pearl, Rose, Kiss

I mean if you insist

pearl: what is your favourite: scent, flavour, sound, texture?

“My favorite scent is probably rose….”

“That…that is the flower! A-and my favorite sound is the sound water makes when it gently flows into a larger pool. Texture wise, I like a clean smooth surface, like a counter right after you wash it. And flavor…? I’m…not very fond of eating.”

rose: what makes you feel beautiful?

“I suppose I do feel rather…beautiful when I’m dancing. I mean, objectively, right? Does that count?”

kiss: what do you want from life right now?

“Steven to stay at home where I can watch him please”

[skybluelion]

peridot e3? :3

Send me an outfit and a character| Accepting

Fashion Queen

[wampuskittens]

conniefers replied to your post “Things that elude tumblr #4924820: redneck IS in fact a slur”

*so is 'stupid'

// touche. How about “redneck is a racial slur” then?

[dement009]

Have you ever tried a Snuggie?

NOOOOO i know they are a huge thing but i havent had the opportunity to try one.

I have the best blankies in the world tho so i aint complaining x)

the right one is extremely warm its what saves me in this siberian weather (all thanks to rex dkc;)

[ofgriefs-moved]

nudge ship w my self-insert he likes memes and uhhhh thats it

x; @conniefers

i know you just want to fuck anime girls, dean

[dragonamazon]

@conniefers is getting me into the narts (i know, i know. im a little late) so have my childhood otp in an au where sakura does go with sasuke and they travel the world together and fall in love slowly. also we haven’t watched a single episode yet and still here i am already drawing fanart lmao

[onebookcharacter]

honestly new years isn't meaning much to me this time around but i still wanna give a much needed shoutout to to james @thespyisi for helping me crawl out of the hole i was stuck in in the first half of 2015 (especially. it took me a big while and you helped me through all of it). without you i probably wouldn't be alive buddy, and i gotta thank you from the bottom of my heart.

i also want to thank dean @meilstroms/@conniefers for being my most recent shoulder to cry on, even though i haven't nearly as many complaints now as i did back then. (altho you do know i love ranting and rambling lmao)

and i wanna thank every single person who's helped me through hard times. you know who you are, who replied to my posts even when i didn't have the energy to reply back, went into my messages, checked up on how i was, or simply read my posts, maybe liked it, sent positive energies or whatever you believe in. without you all i for sure would not be here today. so thank you. and i wish you the best 2018 possible to all of you and all your loved ones

[lattetimes]

So I've been mulling over this question for a while now and I'm curios to hear your thoughts. Just for context, I'm PoC myself, and I've always been frustrated by the portrayal of PoC as stereotyped villains in media (ie. Doomfist in Overwatch, Electro in Amazing Spiderman 2). That said, though, I don't think that we should just stop casting PoC in antagonist roles either. I guess my question is this: How do you think we as creators should go about including PoC in villain roles in our stories?

hey there! (and btw i did get your ask about OTGW and i’m workin’ on it- i didn’t forget!)

what i have to say about this is that i’m okay with POC villains, and i don’t mind seeing POC villains at all! what i do mind is:

 when every single villain happens to be POC and is against all the (conveniently) only white protags that are obviously in the right.

they’re a walking stereotype 

don’t contribute shit to the story

wind up being 20 times worse than the more “moral” villains by doing some overly fucked up shit to prove how evil they are

the only villain that dies

like. just make them interesting?! is that too much to ask?

[kokushibe]

Make me choose :

@conniefers asked: Minato or Obito

[saltygempearl]

I never passed my genin exams

[aikainkauna]

It's very sweet of you to say that; thank you. I wish I had that kind of faith in my wri--no, actually, scratch that, because people who think they are super-talented geniuses are often such cunts, and don't bother to use enough quality control at times because they're overconfident. See every rubbish writer whose personal views and fetishes and personalities/egos shine through in their works to the point of embarrassment squick. (Not that you *can't* write about your fetishes and views, but good writers make those relatable and immersive instead of making the reader wince.)

Anyway, considering the amount of time I spend rereading and re-editing my fics (for word choices rather than chopping out pieces, mind), I have the opposite problem in that I always find something that embarrasses me and I want to fix it. The usual syndrome of the poet who is never 100% satisfied and is still revising her poems on her deathbed. (The other day, I realised--to my horror--that if I were a film director, I'd be the female von Stroheim. Complete with whip.) So what's difficult, almost impossible for me is to decide when something should be left alone and what could/ should be tweaked. It's easier for me to leave alone shitty old fics in fandoms I'm no longer active in, but from 2012 (i.e. Anno Veidt) onwards, all the Conniefic is this living, breathing work I'm engaging with all the time, like a wild-ish garden. I'm constantly planting new stuff and raking away dry leaves, but haven't got the heart to prune every sprawling rosebush full of gaping bums (but I may change the 'hole's into 'anus'es and 'juices' and 'pre-ejaculate's into 'sap's). But it's always difficult to not overstep and go all George Lucas on that stuff. Should I preserve 2014 Grouse, even if 2018 Grouse's way of expressing the same thing is a bit more refined, since her vocabulary is better?

But, IDK. Now I rambled mostly about re-editing older fic. And this is a bit different. The problems I'm running into are the good old syndrome of having said/done the same things a million times already, and the quietness of the fandom because I don't get the stimulation that talking about the ships/movies/fics provides. The latter alone could keep me going indefinitely, but people tend to drift away and/or have lives (and that's human) and the rest of the Veidt fandom is full of asexuals (which is fair enough) or outright prudes (which is tiring) or child-women or such mind-blind types I can't even have a normal pervy fangirl conversation about ships and porny fic with them. So I don't really have the chance to grab more inspiration/confidence because the dynamic interpersonal back-and-forth (which is like an engine for fic!) isn't there. There have been like... maybe half a dozen of the usual fanficcer types in that fandom?! (Why did the timeline of the woman who wrote the first slashfic and was *also* a Connie fan not overlap with mine? The injustice!)

Anyway, now I digress into whining again. But it's definitely an unusual thing, having to find your way in the dark and to write all the fic in a fandom without never quite knowing what works in the way you want it to work (rant about the death of fic commenting culture here. Thanks a lot for making everyone paranoid, Tumblr moral police and anxiety culture. Works real well on top of The Patriarchy and Shitty Female Self-Esteem already making women ashamed of/bullied and traumatised out of expressing sexuality or anything else, for that matter). Oh, godsfuckingdammit, but I am a grumpy sod tonight, aren't I? I could've used all these keystrokes on Roses 24 instead!

Anyway, bottom line: I know people come in for the porn. I don't want to let them down. The moment they think it's gen, they fuck off--The Fields of Longing has some of the hottest and queerest and rawest sex scenes I've ever written for Jaffar/Pwinzezz, but guess what? Despite all those kinks listed in the tags, I made the mistake of using a cute and funny and characteristic scene as my excerpt in the summary and it's one of my least read ToBfics. But mention "rimming" or "a sadistic Nazi baron" and WLW pussynommings in the summary and BOOM, blockbuster time.

So, you know. I am not going to fool myself; the poetry and the history and the OCs and the mysticism are treats for myself and not what 98% of the readers come in for. And I hate false advertising so fucking much, and those fics that put in one clumsy paragraph-long sex scene at the end just to hike the rating up, to lure in readers. So, having been disappointed by those myself, I don't want to inflict that same kind of emotional suffering onto anyone else. It's like getting someone hot and wet and then suddenly cockblocking them, and that's *low.* If it fuckin' says Explicit and the tags list kinky shit, I want to give people their money's worth.

I know. Fucking laughable of me to think of the readers so much since nobody comments anymore and it's the done thing to take porny fanfic for granted, to not give a shit--but I can't help it; it's an honesty thing, a fairness thing. Is this my mixed Finnish/British acculturation/socialisation thing? Is this toxic femininity-style excessive self-sacrifice again? (It sure as hell is toxic-feminine passive-aggressive bitching, this post, Grouse. Stop whining.)

But I mean it. I'm in tears here because I fucking CARE about the fics and the readers and the characters, sincerely. If I'm pissed off at the death of commenting culture, I am *not* saying that because my ego needs stroking but because of the wider, social, cultural reasons--whenever I'm upset about something it's always, *always* because of a thing's wider implications; personal matters are so small and insignificant when you're looking at the bigger picture. I mourn for collective, human reasons, like the grief an anthropologist feels when watching a dying folk dance, hearing the ancient poems from the lips of the last person who remembers them and who is 101 years old with nobody left to pass it on to. That day the last speaker of a language dies. The grief of looking at Alexandria's ruins and kids using them as toilets, using the last scraps of paper from ancient inventors' books as loo roll.

So, all in all, it's so fucking difficult to get right when you're navigating with no echo, no radar, no knowledge of what works and what doesn't. And the opposite is/was what makes fanfic unique, I find: the human contact. The back-and-forth, the organic feeling, the connectedness, the feeling of yourself and your work being a part of something bigger.

I suppose that's a major part of what being human is all about--wanting to connect, to contribute, to feel like your work matters. And I don't want to lose those connections, the pathways, the human-to-human portals the fic--the sex scenes, specifically--create. I'd hate for it to grow cool, for it to fade away, because passion is such an integral part of it; hell, passion is the very core of it, from which the stories and creativity itself emerge--the spark of passion, attraction, love that is our relationship with these characters. I'd be *horrified* if I ever started to truly lose *that.*

Actually, Dave up there once said one of the most wonderful things anyone's ever said of a fic of mine--that it "makes love with the audience." So that's at the core of my concern--how to keep that lovemaking going while still growing (and aging!) as a person, and to hopefully share a part of that journey with the readers, to be on the same train with them for a few stories' duration at least. I want to give the best I can, for the characters, for Connie, for the readers, for myself and for the world.

Because I care, dammit.

Query

Legitimate non-jokey query:

Is 3-3,5 pages long enough for a satisfactory Grousefic sex scene? This includes foreplay, with Jaffar undressing Yassamin with The Veidtgaze™ and stuff. But they kind of breezed through it and there was no major kink or even bumming, just a cosy and simple old-married-couple exchange of tenderness. I’d kind of built up to it, even at the start of the fic (where they already had a one-paragraph quickie and said they’d do a proper shag later that night), so now I worry it might feel anticlimactic. Especially because I am the queen of neverending marathon sex scenes, which I know (most?) readers expect from me. I mean, I know they aren’t there for the deep insights of medieval Islamic metaphysics in relation to cheetah-rearing in 9th century Samarkand, that’s for sure.

IDK. My libido isn’t quite what it used to be and I feel like I’m entering early menopause (and it actually feels pretty nice and like I have more energy than I used to do), so that influences the fics as well, of course. Hasn’t stopped me from being a pervert, of course, and it’s not like I’ll have the motivation to write pure gen or anything (I need those hotties to bang!) but I feel like the balance is shifting a bit there. And I know my sex scenes have been too stop-start-stop and it gets tedious even for me when I reread the stuff, so it’s more like I’m now making them more concentrated than spread out all over the place, and that I am (or rather, Jaffar is) no longer trying to shoehorn ten kinks into one night when a few will do quite nicely.

So, anyway. What are your thoughts?

[wampuskittens]

conniefers replied to your post “conniefers replied to your post “Things that elude tumblr #4924820:...”

i'd say that's valid. did you know white people get discriminated against too? #AllLivesMatter