#congratulations anon you made her sad

[idv-sinful-deities]

hey taegen did you actually get killed by a ghost for cheating at a game. because if you did that’s really pathetic. just saying.

:(

[lucifers-rubber-duck]

im back with more chaotic modern reader x hazbin crew... 👀👀

just imagine a reader who cannot take things seriously. like, oh you're sad? their response is either "not a slay" or "that didn't eat". oh Angel and Husk are having yet another argument and the rest of the hotel is tense (-Alastor)? reader just obnoxiously sips tea. oh Adam is going on his "I'm better than you all" rant during the fight? reader just obnoxiously chews popcorn.

A/N: I rewrote this a few times because I had too many ideas on what to do but didn't want it to be too long. Anyways, hope you enjoy Anon!

• You just don't get why people make such a fuss about stupid things, they're already in hell, what are they whining about? This place isn't even that bad, it is way different from what you were teached at least, you actually enjoy being here.

• You're not the most reliable person to go to when it comes to having a serious conversation, you just don't give two shits about anything, why should you? Does it really matter in this place, even if some demon gets angry at you, it's not like you can die again.

• You saw Charlie crying or just really stressed out about the hotel, you either tell her to suck it up or don't even bother engaging and go call Vaggie to deal with it, not your girlfriend, not your problem. Sir Pentious says his sinceres sorries to you? You tell him to go fuck himself and still gives him death stares for a week, he destroyed the wall Alastor made you clean up earlier that day and you hold grudges very easily.

• Husker and Angel are having a discussion? You're filming it and whispering “Fight fight fight” in the back, you'll take any drama that happens at the hotel. And when they come back all friendly and even being gross with each other you put your head on the bar's counter and let out a disappointed sigh; “You two are flirting now? For fuck sake, I can't have jackshit in this hotel can I?”

• Lucifer is coming to the Hotel? You cared at first, but then realized he was not as hot as you imagined the king of Hell would be and decided that you won't mind, you only really pay attention to when he and Alastor are fighting. Your eyes did tear up a little bit when Lucifer and Charlie solved things with each other but you won't ever say that out loud.

• When Vaggie finally revealed that she was a angel to everyone, you took it as the biggest gossip of the year instead of and actual emotional moment and did not understand why Charlie was so shocked at this information, like, c'mon, that shit was the best.

• When the final battle is close, the one that you can actually kill you for good, you don't get all emotional, your side has a army of cannibals, Alastor and the princess of Hell, why should you worry? Still, you find yourself drinking with your hotel mates the night before the fight, you find yourself talking happily to Charlie and Vaggie, telling Sir Pentious to just kiss Cherri Bomb already, you congratulate Angel and his future relationship with Husker which makes him laugh.

• This is Hell, you're here because you deserve it, but tomorrow is another day that no one can tell what happens so might as well enjoy it while it lasts, but you totally don't care about the hotel, yeah… Totally don't care.

[throwaway-yandere]

Dendro NA: 101 (Yandere!Alhaitham/Reader)

a/n: “ansy weren’t you going to write faceless!ayato and music composer!tighnari” well yes but things happened so now here we are. I’m dedicating this fic to crying anon since they’re the person that gave me an idea of an "what if Alhaitham had an elf!darling?" after this fic. The beginning reads like an enemies-to-lovers fic with a slice of crack where nothing goes wrong but trust me it’s not lmao

unreliable synopsis: After Alhaitham forged your signature, you're now forced to become the Acting Grand Sage’s assistant. It's even more annoying when he nearly visited your house all drugged up. Seriously, when will he learn to respect his seniors?

CW: yandere themes, noncon touching, aphrodisiacs, possessiveness, so much bickering, and the reader slanders dendro for plot reasons. 

Pulcinella, The Rooster, came to visit early in the morning.

“Pups, please… Stop turning my apartment upside down and just tell me what you want.”

It was unexpected how the old man barged into your “unconquerable mess of an apartment” with the intent to celebrate your newfound job at the Haravatat. Mayor Pulcinella isn’t your direct grandfather, but he is your grandfather’s brother. The fact that you are connected to him is a well-known secret (as absurd an oxymoron as that may sound) in the College of Engineering and Technology at the Akademiya. Because of the collectivist mentality that characterized your family, every last pointy-eared relative you are aware of is blatantly nosy and annoying. The "mayor" is much more so.

Pulcinella did come to extend his congratulations, with a generous batch of cookies even, but he had an objective in mind. His way of showing that he cares is usually in the form of letters but he stands right in front of you now. You can only imagine how difficult it is for someone in his position to take a leave of absence this far since Port Ormos is so far away from home and it takes days for mail to arrive here.

Your grandfather is obstinate. Terrifying so since you recognize that expression on his face all too well. Although you are unsure of what he needs from you, you do know that you want him out. Immediately.

“Don’t talk to me in that tone, child.” He scowled, jabbing your briefcases with his wooden cane. “I’m not leaving until I find it.”

That "Rooster" moniker belongs to him without a doubt. Your belongings were seized by the elf-like a bird's beak. He prodded the dreadful equation-filled sheets hanging on your wall and snatched a few trinkets on your work table. Good lord. Pulcinella made so much noise that if you weren’t already planning on starting your day, you would’ve been incredibly cranky when he knocked on your door.

“For Her Majesty’s sake– just what are you trying to find, grandpups?”

He turned to look at you.

Not mad, but disappointed– sad, even.

“An engagement ring. Evidence that you’re dating that fool, Alhaitham.”

You groaned.

“Him again?! Motherf—”

Pulcinella quirked his eyebrow at your outburst, “hmm?”

You chuckled nervously, “ah, sorry, I just… It’s nothing.”

No, it was not “nothing.” That bastard ruined a lot of things for you, including your vision. You didn’t want a dendro vision. You were praying for Rex Lapis every night even after his death but somehow being involved with Alhaitham strayed your path to gaining the “grass fertilizer tool” as you loved to call it. Sure, there’s little evidence that he’s the reason behind the fact that you got a dendro vision instead of geo but that doesn’t change the fact that you want to crush him between your palms like a writhe scarab. Especially after he enlisted you as his scribe-disciple without your consent. What a complete scumbag.

Oh, to quit the Akademiya only to be forced to go back again…

But of course, your grandpups don’t know anything about this and you have ZERO intentions of letting him in on your business. If he knows, then ALL of Snezhnayan elves know.

“I’ve heard from your mother that you’ve gone lovesick and left the Akademiya,” Pulcinella spoke in a slow somber tone. “And falling recklessly in love and gaining a dendro vision does not sound like you at all.”

Eww. Lovesick? Hell no.

If it weren’t for this man, you would’ve graduated as a fully pledged civil engineer next year. If he wasn’t such a great scribe, no, forger, your signature wouldn’t be on that damn contract.

That man seriously has no respect for his seniors.

Nevertheless, it was too late to do anything. You just have to accept the consequences of your inaction. Additionally, if you're going to take this "new job," you might as well act as if you adore it.

Hooray! Don’t you love working for Alhaitham? Isn’t it fun to discard your 4 years of studying? Oh, what joy! You definitely did not burn your eyebrows out trying to ace FIFTY Kshahrewar mock tests!!!–

“Talk to me, poppet.” He continued, eyebrows knitted. His wrinkly hands reached to gently hold yours. Suddenly, you remembered that he is still family. That this was the same old major that your young self boasted their miniature construction toys to.

“I’m worried that something might’ve happened. And my dear, health is not the absence of disease or infirmity, it is also–”

“The complete state of physical, mental, AND social wellbeing. Yes. I know, Pups. You nearly forced me to study medicine.” You groaned and palmed your forehead, weak but playful.

He chuckled heartily.

The old man’s rather soft with you compared to his other grandchildren. If he wasn’t, you’d likely find yourself as Il Dottore’s new assistant.

Although most people would find working for a harbinger, especially The Doctor, to be a complete nightmare, you concluded that being Alhaitham's slave was the epitome of "overrated garbage," and you despise the scribe so much you can't even remember his appearance. Sure, Layla’s jealous that you’re essentially set for life by being a scribe assistant but at least Dottore gives his assistants a hefty pay (discounting his crimes against humanity…)

You’re not proud to call Alhaitham your boss. That stupid #093c0d face doesn’t make your 2 million mora salary worth the trouble. He needs to pay for your mental health insurance–

“Are you alright, poppet? You’re looking at me like you would with one of your test slimes.”

You exhaled deeply, “sorry, I suddenly thought of a hex code #093c0d person.”

Pulcinella closed his eyes.

“A dark green shade?”

“That’s right.”

“...”

With an unreadable yet deliberate face, Pulcinella fixed his gaze on you. Your unique perspective on others didn't seem to disturb your grandpups the way it did your parents. He is one of the select few who is aware of how you assign people's personalities through colors. Pulcinella raised his glasses further up before giving a sage-like nod. The moment he crossed his arms, you knew he understood what you were trying to express.

“So it’s a lover’s quarrel.”

“Yes, exactly.”

…

“Wait, what– NO!!! Pups, please stop assuming shit– things!!!”

Never mind— he is SO far off.

Why is he convinced that you’re dating that prick? What the hell did your mom tell him?!

“I heard that, poppet. And do not misunderstand, I think this is a good thing.”

Your uncle-grandfather cupped your cheeks and squished them between his fingers. Perhaps this is what people consider a wholesome grandpa-grandchild dynamic– but social norms should’ve also labeled this as domestic violence. His pinching hurts. Your clipped groans made him grin wider.

“After all, this means that you have seen his flaws and true character. What better way to break a couple up than a genuine argument?”

“PWUUUPS!!!”

Pulcinella pulled his hands away.

“I felt distraught when I heard you have given up your pursuit of civil engineering and chose a career in the Haravatat,” he sighed and took off his hat, holding it against his chest. “I was rooting for you, dear. I had faith in your aspirations. Even Lord Capitano found it upsetting to learn that the future engineer I frequently boasted about had become a lesser Lord Kusanali underling.”

You squirmed and rubbed your cheeks, staring at the ground.

Lord Capitano was not someone you often interacted with, but you knew that he had an eye for talent– and he sought after yours. Perhaps this is your ego talking, but it felt like even he believed you’re best suited for an engineering course too. Other than your grandpups and subsequently his recruit, Ajax, Lord Capitano was one of the Fatuis you respected.

Alhaitham truly crushed your dreams.

“I know, Pups…”

“You know what to do, right?”

You nodded solemnly, before looking him dead in the eye. Pulcinella can see your determination clear as day.

You breathed in.

“I’m going to commit arson.”

He patted your back, smiling.

“That’s my grandchild!”

Pulcinella tip-toed and ruffled your hair.

“Alright, this old man had given up. Just show grandpups where the ring is.”

“Her majesty the Tsaritsa’s sake– I already told you Pups– ALHAITHAM AND I ARE NOT DATING!!!”

It was an exceptionally hot evening in Sumeru City despite being far from the desert. You should be inside your apartment right now, studying the Dendro Vision book Alhaitham gave you but you’d rather be where you are now. It’s about to get warmer, yet you’d dare argue that both you and master architect Kaveh’s headache can compete with its 38°C average temperature.

“C’mon, please?”

“No, I’m not helping you burn Alhaitham’s house down.”

“What?! Why not?!”

“Damnit, (Y/n)– BECAUSE I LIVE THERE!!!”

“Oh, right.”

You flopped back to your seat, eyes rolling back, deflated.

Kaveh cried out in pain while lowering his head to the table. He somewhat resembled a dried-out raisin. He had a drinking binge the night before, so this isn't because he's not a morning person. Although you expressed regret for knocking on his (Alhaitham's) door, the architect never misses a chance to rant about his housemate. Kaveh's pain wasn't even close to how much he detested Alhaitham. Now here you both are, sitting outside Lambad’s Tavern like morons because you both forgot to bring your wallets.

Not a sight you’d expect from a master-of-all-trades (ex-)engineering student and a genius architect.

“Damn it…” You whined. “What else am I supposed to do now?”

“Await until Focalors passes her judgment,” he answered hoarsely.

In other words: curl up and die, probably.

“Yeah… Yeah, that sounds viable. Let me just go to Fontaine real quick– oh wait, I can’t, because some dumbass scribe paid the corps to keep me from reaching the borders.”

Kaveh chuckled, still caressing his headache, not caring how his messy and unwashed locks covered his eyes. You’d be surprised if he told you he didn’t just get out of bed. He appeared like he was ready to sleep for all eternity, or more accurately, Kaveh’s starting to look eerily similar to Layla. In terms of colors though, he’d still be a #ffda29 and not a #003153.

He sneered, “did the sun always look this bright, powerful, and oh-so hateful?”

“It wouldn’t look like that if you didn’t down the pitcher I left on the table last night, Kaveh.”

You both turned to look at the voice– rather, the abyss. Alhaitham stood behind you. Or at least, you think it’s him.

Okay, here’s the deal: you hate remembering his face.

You handle your memory much like a student would a personal bookshelf– you’ll occasionally take out the information you no longer wish to retain in favor of more useful and relevant ones. As a creature with longevity, an elf should be picky when it comes to memories. You believe your approach is in the same vein as Pulcinella disposing of “less valuable assets’' without hesitation. If there’s no point in having it, why carry the baggage? But there are at least two facts that you can easily recall about Alhaitham: it’s his voice and the color #093c0d.

In other words, he’s just a talking dark green slime in your eyes.

Which he considers a major step up, by the way. You went from ignoring him to recognizing his voice, to associating him with one color. That’s quite a development. A pathetically slow progression, but still a positive one.

“THERE YOU ARE, ALHAITHAM, YOU PRI–”

The man swiftly dodged his slap by crouching down. He honestly didn’t have to put in the effort when Kaveh’s attacks were sluggish.

“–CK! WHY’D YOU LABEL THE ALCOHOL AS WATER?!”

Tons of passersby stared at Kaveh as he flailed around, but they were quick to look away. It’s no longer a secret that he lives with the scribe. Everyone in Sumeru City knows about his tactless antics and none are deaf when it comes to his loud gripes about his housemate. Even so, you went up to him to soothe his worries and restore his reputation because not everyone understands he's not a bad person.

Alhaitham scoffed, glaring.

“I didn’t. The label said "Fire-Water.””

“WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT MAKE?!”

“Fire-water? Oh.”

Your hand flew to your mouth as you connected the two dots.

That beverage from Snezhnaya is notorious for having a high alcohol content and is only known in Mondstadt as the drink Master Ragnvindr forbade exports of. As a quote-unquote "wine connoisseur," you were invited to one of his parties. Fortunately, you were able to warn Diluc of how potent it is firsthand– Kaveh? Not so much.

You snorted.

“Yeah, Kaveh, I hate to take Alhaitham’s side on this but this one is on you, friend.”

The blonde’s eyes widened, betrayed.

“HAH?!”

“Need I remind you that fire-water is an alcoholic beverage, Kaveh.” Alhaitham waved his hand, emphasizing his condescending tone. “Maybe if you listened to me instead of ranting about my work ethic, you would’ve known that I received it as a gift from a Fatui Harbinger.”

Your ears perked up. “From a Harbinger?”

Alhaitham smirked but it was gone as quickly as it came.

“Hmm. I’m certain that you know him, assistant (L/n). His name is Pulcinella,” the scribe said. “He left me a note. He said he wishes that I drink to my heart’s content as a thank-you gift for hiring his grandchild. I wasn’t aware you have a kind grandfather.”

You smiled back, crookedly.

No. No, your uncle-grandfather DEFINITELY wanted to see Alhaitham in pain. He didn’t even bother giving him a bottle– he gave him a fucking leftover pitcher.

Alhaitham took your arm. Unfortunately, he’s taller than you with muscle strength you can’t compete with. You squirmed but resistance was futile. Doesn’t mean you can’t bite his arm off–

“Assistant (L/n)–”

You gritted your teeth. “Don’t touch me, sir.”

Alhaitham paused, processing how much emphasis you put into pronouncing the word “sir.”

“–I’ll be taking you away now.” He looked down on your friend and scoffed. “Kaveh, do try your best to not be a burden to Mx. (L/n) again.”

Kaveh clutched his head, still in pain.

Sorry, Kaveh. That drink and beating headache were not meant for you in the slightest. You made a mental note to make it up to him, but not today. You have a lot on your plate right now.

“Idiot. They’re the one that invited me here!”

“True–”

“I quite frankly don’t care,” Alhaitham spat coldly.

“From now on, refrain from having conversations with my assistant. Unless you’re prepared to face the consequences.”

“Do you remember the approximate damage multipliers an aggravate reaction causes?”

“Nope.”

“Tch. I just discussed this, I can’t believe you already forgot.”

“You think I forgot? Haha, hell no. I didn’t forget, I just wasn’t paying any attention.”

Alhaitham dragged you down a secluded area in the rainforests with a sword in hand. Quite frankly, you hoped he brought his weapon to kill you, but you’re well aware of what this is about.

This is a lesson straight out of a page of “Dendro Vision Qualifications 101: Normal Attack Patterns.” The Acting Grand Sage thinks that you should have at least enough fighting proficiency for you to start formally working for him. As for you? You think this whole charade is utterly meaningless.

Sometimes, you truly do wish you were born as a rock instead. Maybe then you would be able to perform the “gray-rock method” whenever Alhaitham starts his drivel about dendro visions. You bet you’d make a pretty good tombstone for your dead childhood friend if you were a rock. Being a rock is probably the nicest thing to be. You get to be something created from the Geo element– the element and vision you desired. And not dendro.

Anything but lame old dendro.

This is so stupid. You wanted a geo vision, damn it. What on earth did you do to make Rex Lapis spite you, and what kinda breakthrough did you accomplish to gain the Lesser Lord Kusanali’s favor instead?!

If only you got something that isn’t the same as Alhaitham’s vision. Maybe if you got an electro vision you’d be learning how to brandish a lance with the General Mahamatra instead. Unlike most people, you enjoy being in his prolonged company and dry jokes. You’ve exchanged letters with Cyno multiple times– but your friend’s on-the-spot puns are 10x funnier than the things he writes down. Of course, that’s only because his earnest delivery sells it.

“In this fighting stance, you can perform up to 4 consecutive attacks, dishing out dendro damage approximately every 2 seconds interval–”

You held up your Eye of Perception.

“Bold of you to assume I’ll use this vision.”

“–charge attacks on the other hand require a hefty amount of stami–”

You yawned, halting Alhaitham in the middle of his “lecture.”

There’s a reason why you chose an Eye of Perception, and that’s because, unlike most catalysts, it procures physical damage as well. With someone as petty as you, it’s only natural that you’d brandish a weapon that doesn’t rely too much on dendro reactions.

“Yeah, I’ll just hit the enemy with my catalyst. Like, aim and shoot, or maybe I’ll just go with blunt force. This eye of perception looks like it’s made of metal, it can probably dish out some physical damage–”

Alhaitham shifted forward. Your gentle yet insouciant voice forced him out of his momentum.

“(Y/n).”

“...Yes, sir?”

His gaze sharpened.

“Pay attention.”

You snorted. Was he trying to intimidate you?

You, an elf who lived longer than him? How arrogant. It was becoming clearer why Alhaitham never once had a girlfriend or boyfriend. Or maybe a genuine friend in general. His senior who happens to also be his housemate does not count.

“No thanks.” You laughed to yourself, barely containing your amusement. “I think I’m doing fine.”

“What do you expect will happen if you don’t listen to my instructions? Your unfailing indifference sickens me.” He sheathed his sword back. “Do I have to spell everything out? You’ll get injured in combat. You won’t be able to defend yourself from fungi, eremites, and other enemies on the prowl. All for what? Useless pride? Grow up. Accept that you got a dendro vision and be done with it.”

“Tch…” You know how you feel, but you do not have the strength to say it out loud.

What an impossible task. He’s telling you– the most stubborn person you know– to give up on your goals? Inconceivable. You bet he sees the mediocre majority as nothing more than defective pawns, and you’re well aware you belong in that lowly category.

To him, grief may as well be easy as breathing. For you, years had gone by and you could still hear their voice. The scribe knows nothing about tributes for the dead. 

Your old childhood friend beckons you back to the chasm. His voice comes once the dark rears in, reverbing his desperate pleas for a fitting grave. It’s a voice that twists around your chest like a knife. You can’t get their faces out of your memetic bookshelf, but it’s not as if you’re willing to dispose of them.

You didn’t want a dendro vision. 

You wanted a geo vision to construct mausoleums for your dead friends.

Alhaitham scowled.

“Fine. We’ll resume our lesson next week.”

He bumped into your shoulder as he walked by. For a split second, you’re reminded that your superior had longer eyelashes than you do. And it made the gesture more annoying.

Strange. 

Alhaitham wouldn’t normally let you off so easily…

Maybe he’s busy?

“If you’re so insistent on only utilizing physical attacks, be my guest. Next time, I will not back down a single step.” Alhaitham walked away with heavy feet, stamping the dirt with his heels.

The consequences of your actions began to sink in. You may have lived longer than Alhaitham, but needless to say, he had more experience in combat.

Admittedly, you may have done yourself a disservice by acting out… You huffed.

No, no way.

“What could possibly go wrong? He’s just a feeble scholar!”

Unsurprisingly, Alhaitham was not, in fact, a feeble scholar.

Thankfully you have the Eye of Perception at your disposal because the moment he found you walking towards Devantaka Mountain the following week, the bastard went for your jugular.

“What the fuck, Alhaitham?!”

You fired a single shot, aimed higher this time knowing that he would attempt to evade. Much like his actions with Kaveh last time, Alhaitham was quick to dodge that projectile. His timing is impeccable as he activated his vision.

#ff0e0e starts blaring in your line of sight. You’ve always trusted these colors— your instincts.

You’re in danger.

“Tch!”

You almost didn’t recognize that it was him. If he wasn’t breathing heavily, you would've mistaken him for an assassin. Alhaitham never made any unnecessary movements. His slashes were not done with the intent of harming you, but shepherding you to an appropriate trap. Your knee scraped against the grass and minuscule rocks. Prioritizing distance over attacks was a wrong move– he’s faster than anticipated. You gasped sharply as the scribe pinned you against a tree trunk–

… His scent caught your attention.

“A cicin mage’s perfume…?” You mumbled, eyes wide.

That didn’t seem right. Their perfume usually doesn’t smell this unpleasant and metallic.

Your ears drooped down as you realized this Alhaitham did not attack because he’s a lunatic, no. That malodorous stench was akin to a grandmother’s bittersweet husk.

This Alhaitham was under the influence of aphrodisiacs, and it is not something you can fault him for.

“What– What on earth happened?”

He twisted your arm slightly, not enough that’ll make you scream but just rough for a tiny yelp–

and that’s how he boldly claimed your lips.

You froze in horror, letting him take advantage of your plight. Alhaitham pulled away, panting slightly.

“F-Fuck…”

Alhaitham moaned as he slipped his tongue back inside. You tried to stop him but you yelped the moment his hand groped your thigh. His breath fanned your flustered skin as he moved to slither his arms around your waist, closing the already small distance between you two.

You weakly pulled back. The rainforest had never felt this humid before.

Something is truly off about his scent.

“L-Let go!!!” You hissed and punched his chest, completely forgetting your catalyst in your panic. “What the hell is wrong with you?!?! Are you out of your fucking mind?!”

He didn’t listen despite your physical protests. Alhaitham disgustingly crooned down and sloppily dabbed wet kisses down your neck. His saliva dripped over his shoulder, coating you in hopes that it would leave his trace.

It felt wrong. You felt dirty– like you were kissing an actual #093c0d slime.

“P-Please…” He whispered, his voice dropping dangerously weak and vulnerable. “H-Help me, (Y/n)…”

Your face flushed as you wiped the saliva that connected you both from your lips.

You’ve never heard Alhaitham beg before.

Is this really him?

His fistful grip on your clothes grew taut as desperation colored his knuckles white. You had never seen Alhaitham lose his cool the way he does now, and the broken sight in his eyes made you uneasy and uncertain.

He looked pathetic.

“Haitham, your…” your hand supported his neck and he hungrily leaned in to feel your touch. “Your heartbeat is loud.”

“I know,” he whimpered.

You bit your lip. You could sense his pulse going faster.

This isn’t the first time you’ve been kissed– or first anything. You’ve had your fair share of “soulmates” and “flings”, but those happened decades ago. Before you were mastering engineering, you were a freelance artist who’d had many affairs with humans and elves alike out of the undiagnosed emptiness that was grief. Up until Faruzan made you start a new leaf, you indulged in numerous vices, including wine and one-night stands. She was the closest a human could hope to understand the loneliness an elf would have.

Both your appearance give the illusion of youth, but your bones are held together by flesh older than this man. She would undoubtedly be angry with you as soon as she learns that you enabled Alhaitham's small rendezvous.

“Alhaitham, I’m more than a decade years older than you–” you squirmed.

“But I want you,” he groaned.

Those words felt so different when he was the one who said them. Nearly sinister.

“I know,” you said, but your voice doesn’t match the confidence you were meant to exude. “But this isn’t you, this is your hormones doing the talking. Where did the cicin mage attack you?”

“Between Pardis Dhyai and Yashna Monument”

“Between WHAT?!” You gawked. “That’s miles away from here!”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does!!!”

You yanked his shirt. It’s thin, yet surprisingly durable. The strength of the fabric is not what made you unnerved, but his stare.

He gazed at you as if you were his lifeline— as if you were the only thing that allowed him to breathe. Alhaitham’s hot breaths were shallow, fanning your face as you took note of how red his face, neck, and ears were. You noticed how he struggled to gulp— struggled to keep his composure. His bedroom eyes had not once diverted their attention away from you.

“It doesn't matter how far I ran. You were the one I wanted to see. You were the face that came to mind after getting poisoned."

You pretended not to hear that.

“Alhaitham, we need to get you to Tighnari.”

“He can’t help me.”

“The forest watcher can most certainly help you more than me.”

“You don’t know that.”

You don't want to hear him talk anymore, to be honest. You're horrified by how weak and inaudible his voice sounded.

“Why did you come to Avidya Forest all the way from there? Why not head straight to the city?”

“So many questions…” He irritably spat. “Just stop talking and kis–”

“I refuse,” you glared. “Why were you heading towards Port Ormos? Did you think I was going to help you get over this mess out of the goodness of my heart?”

Did he forget how much you loathe him?

“No. No, of course not.”

He chuckled, full of self-loathing.

“I know you hate me, (Y/n). I would hate myself too.”

You raised an eyebrow. Of course, he’s self-aware— you just didn’t expect him to say that out loud.

Alhaitham continued, “but I’m not the one at fault here.”

Defeated, he rested his head on your shoulder. To avoid having you look at his expression, Alhaitham cupped your back, running fingers through your scalp so that you may only look forward. His body pressed against yours firmly. There’s no possible way for you not to be wholly aware of how warm he was and how fast his heart was beating. 

It was distracting to know how much the poison affected someone like Alhaitham, whom you thought was damn near untouchable.

Awkwardly, you returned the favor and played with his hair. Alhaitham gasped softly, making you shiver as you realized how sensitive you are to his breathing from this position.

“And who would that be?” You asked quietly. “If your pride won’t let you seek Tighnari’s aid then since you’re here you might as well tell me everything, starting from the very beginning.”

“T-That won’t be necessary.”

“If we want to rule out who your true assailant is, then yes it is,” you answered. “I think this is what you call the process of elimination.”

Suddenly, he pulled away from you with his arms stretched out. Alhaitham still kept you pinned on the tree, but there’s more space for you now to move and see his face. 

Ah, you’ve nearly forgotten again.

Alhaitham has green-orange eyes.

“No need.”

He clicked his tongue.

“It was Pulcinella. Your grandfather sent a cicin mage in an attempt to seduce and assassinate me.”

… Oh.

You should’ve guessed. You really should’ve guessed that he was behind all this.

Instinctively, you tried to cover your mouth from shock, but he quickly grabbed them and pressed them back to the tree behind you again. He tightened his hold once more, making you wince.

“I didn’t mind at first because your grandfather reminded me of my own grandmother,” Alhaitham gritted his teeth. “Pulcinella—”

He bit his bottom lip, his seafoam eyes looking unstable and royally pissed.

“He’s not after me because of my position as the Acting Grand Sage. H-He was merely looking after you. His expression was one I recognized. It's a grandfather's love. I may not show empathy as frequently as my housemate would like, but at least I am conscious of how important family is. I don’t want you to have to arrange your grandparent’s funeral like I did.”

You’re not unaware of who Alhaitham’s grandmother was. At one point, you had befriended her back when she was out on a mission to acquire 1,000 books. To think that you’ll meet her grandson for the first time in college and that you’ll end up in a situation like this… you’re sure she would’ve never condoned any of this. She wouldn’t appreciate that her grandson was trying to fuck the elf that helped her build her small library.

This is wrong. 

Everything about this is wrong. From the age gap to the work power distance– it’s vile– 

You want to vomit.

“So— s-so what did you do?”

“I didn’t want to kill your grandfather in retaliation.”

“Yes, you’ve established that. You don’t usually beat around the bush— go back to being the Alhaitham I know and just get straight to the point, damn it!”

“I ended up tracking all of his people in Sumeru down.”

He chuckled lowly.

Your heart started racing as well. 

If his heart was beating out of excitement, yours were out of a rational fear that you wouldn’t get out of this unscathed and mentally sound.

“It’s laughable how his lackeys were so incompetent. If they listened to my lectures at all, they would’ve known how to defend themselves.”

“What… What the hell are you talking about?” 

There was nowhere to run. You’re trapped unless Alhaitham lets go of both your wrists. Your dilated eyes surveyed the woodland, but you weren't confident that, should the occasion arise, your shaky knees could put some distance between you and the scribe.

“Didn’t you notice? They were stalking us from the moment I was teaching you how to use your vision last week, and likely even before that.”

His face drew near and you strained your neck to hopefully maintain at least a hair of distance between both of your lips.

Alhaitham closed his eyes.

“Did you honestly think I’d postpone our practice due to your mild complaining? Don’t you understand how excruciating it is to be away from you for a week?”

He pressed his forehead against yours.

“But I had to do it. For us.”

“Where… Where were you when you were gone? What did you do to them?”

You didn’t want to ask.

You already know the answer. 

“When will you start thinking before you speak?”

With fears renewed, your body felt small underneath his gaze. He’s not even looking at you— his piercing green eyes weren’t even looking directly at your soul. You turned away and gazed at his left shoulder— shrieking.

Never in your 100+ years of life did you feel so stupid. Only now did you realize that it wasn’t just a cicin mage’s perfume you smelled earlier.

There was blood all over his coat.

“Stop screaming, (Y/n). I’ve finished the job and it’s high time you reward me, wouldn’t you agree?”

[yourgentlegirlfriend]

OKAY GUYS!! I had gotten this as a request thank you so fucking much anon though I don’t do your prompt justice at all. I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED the draft that had 4k words i was so sad that’s why i didn’t post all day!! But this prompt was just so fucking good but my writing again doesn’t do it justice at all. It’s absolutely not proof read and it’s just BAD in my opinion but your opinions matter to me the most </3

DISCLAIMER: This is an 18+ blog! If you are underaged or don’t have an age indicator in your bio, please don’t interact!

Afab reader x Rookie Leon <3

Warnings: Porn with a plot THIS IS A STRIPPER STORY, Rookie!Leon, somewhat Subby Leon, he’s a whiny little bitch but it’s so cute. Mentions of cervix bumping, reverse cowgirl (yee haw), that’s really it!!

word count: 3,799

The chief claims it’s a tradition. The men in the office pay to bring the rookie to the only strip club in the city. At first Leon thought they were joking, especially because the station is to busy to have the time to even go, he also just didn’t believe that there was a club in general. He viewed the city as modest, fast, but modest.

Leon’s small party at the station made him so eager to start working. He craved the feeling of not being the “Rookie” anymore, it’s been overwhelming but he was so excited for his new career. Everyone congratulates him but he knew they all came for the food, or alcohol. As the talking died down and the families began to leave, the staff was still full of life, well everyone but Leon. He pulled open his locker, grabbing at his jacket causing a loud call of his name.

“Where are you going? The night is just starting! Don’t tell me you wanna go home, we have one more surprise for you”

They have been teasing him since he started his training, Leon was so nervous they’d just leave him on the side of the road somewhere. They all crammed into one car, Leon’s eyebrows frowning as they drove further into the city. When the car came to a stop, the men next to him rambling on about the most random stuff, his brain censored it out.

They basically dragged him into the building, Leon fixing the collar of his jacket as the Chief flashed his badge at the bodyguard who just nudged his arm softly, the group of men roared with laughter.

The chief handed the woman at the bracelet an uncomfortable amount of money, leaning on the table as he pointed to Leon. Everyone’s bracelets laid on their wrist a pretty baby pink, the woman with the black french tipped nails walking up to Leon, grabbing his arm. A sly smirk grew on her pretty red lips, Leons head nodding respectfully as a way to say thank you. Her fingers lingered on his arm as she turned to walk away.

“Congratulations.”

Her velvety voice sang seductively as she walked passed the group of cops, Leon watching as she disappeared into the back room. Though he was so happy to be “Accepted” into the group of men, but not in this way. His hand played with the menu in front of him, he didn’t even notice the waitress in front of him till her red nails snapped in his face.

“You want a drink honey?”

Her voice was a bit raspy and she wore- well she didn’t really wear anything. The chief put his hand out, against Leon’s chest causing him to sit further back into the seat.

“Just shots all around please.”

————

Jamie ran into the back, her heels clicking loudly before she yanked your curtain open, your hand slipping causing your eyeliner to now look lopsided. Your tongue poked out the side of your cheek as your eyes met her through the bright lit up mirror in front of you.

“You’re serious?”

You hands dug through your makeup bag for the wipes, wiping at the wobbly line. Jamie closed the curtain behind her, her red lips kissing at your shoulder.

“Honey, your group is here. And they have somebody new, he’s not old either, he has the cutest face. You’re gonna die.”

Her eyes rolled back in almost a pleasure way before she tied the string behind your back into a cute little bow. Your hand reached back to wipe off her lipstick stain before she pushed your hand away.

“Now that, is disrespectful.”

You loved Jamie. She’s the only reason you really stay here, through the harassment, the cut checks and even the drugs that swung through here. Your boss was a major douche bag, the type of man that thinks just because you strip here you are his object. And right when you start thinking about the asshole, he pulls your curtain open, that nasty smile on his face.

“You’re on Bliss.”

Bliss, your stage name. That you absolutely dreaded but he chooses the names for every girl, you’re bliss because everytime you’re on that pole, everyone is smiling, even you. If life went your way you would’ve been a backup dancer for some pop singer, or maybe even did ballet. When you turned nineteen you were denied to every major dance school in the country. It broke your heart and took everyone in your life by suprise, dancing was your life work and you put your whole soul into it.

You glared at him, waiting for him to close the curtain. Peach lipgloss, you dragged it across your lips and smiled as Jamie rubbed the glitter into your skin.

“I don’t deserve you.”

You spoke to her before she kissed the top of your head, helping you up from where you sat at your knees, in front of the mirror. You wore a gorgeously fitted bra, almost like it was made for you. It sparkles when the light hits it just right, your little skirt being identical, cutting off right at the top of your thigh. Unlike all your beautiful coworkers, you refused to wear shoes, your toes and fingers painted pitch black.

“Bliss lets go!”

Your ears picked up the sound of your set song starting, your lips pressed against Jamie’s cheek as you ran down the dressing room hall, your outfit making soft clanking noises as the jewels smacked against each other. Joe, your boss, ALSO picked out all your songs. The soft melody of Childish Gambino's Red Bone echoing through the corridor.

The spotlights always blind you, your eyes taking far too long to adjust, you always get so nervous you’ll fall right off the stage. Your eyes take in your audience, the crowd is always bigger on a Friday night. You smirked over at what the ladies call “Your group” as your hands climbed up the pole, your legs allowing you to flip yourself over, your back arching against the pole. Your attention went from one person to another, before you saw him. His beautiful blonde hair, his jacket looked so heavy on him. That small indent on his chin, the way his chest would rise then fall when he noticed you were staring directly at him.

————

Mesmerized. The way your outfit made your skin sparkle, and your lips part when you dipped yourself down. Everything about you had him under a spell. Even when you got down on your knees, sprawling out for the men in front of you as they shoved bills into your skirt, your eyes never tearing from his. He was distraught when your set ended, your small hands grabbing at all the bills on the ground, a wide smile on your face. It made his pants tight for some reason, guilt washing over him as you blew a kiss goodbye, a smile growing onto him as you ran off the stage, on your tip toes.

—————

“Beautiful, as always.”

Jamie went to hug you, your arm squeezing her as you dug into your bra handing her all your money.

“Take fifty for you but put the rest in my bag.”

You chirped so quickly she barley understood, her eyes following you as you fixed your messy hair, your fingers combing through it as you pushed yourself out the curtain. You tried to pin point him, but couldn’t find him, you cursed yourself for not jumping right off the stage and into his arms. You almost let defeat take you over before you saw him walk out the bathroom, laughing to yourself as he wiped his hands on his jeans. You knew eyes were on you, but you didn’t care. Walking across the smooth velvet floor, his back now facing you as he talked to his group, or your group.

“Hey boys.”

You spoke sweetly, your hands wrapping around the Chiefs arm as the group yelled greeting you. They really were all super sweet, your favorite regulars. You usually don’t come out to talk to them straight after set but you obviously had to tonight. Your face scrunched in confusion as you leaned against the Chief, pointing to Leon.

“Who’s this?”

Your tone was innocent, you had to know his name. Leon stared at you, afraid to let his eyes slip below your lips. He didn’t want to be disrespectful even though everyone else around didn’t care.

“I’m Leon.”

Cute. He was sheepish. Your hands let go of the chief, leaning into Leon. Leon tensed up at the feeling of you pressed against him, your lip ghosting over the shell of his ear. His eyes trailing down your smooth skin, his eyes glistening.

“Want a dance?”

No charge. Though you didn’t tell him yet, because teasing him was the best part of this all. Leon’s hand reached up, touching your upper arm gently as he nodded his head.

“Yeah, sure I don’t see why not”

An angel. He was a walking angel. Stepping off your tip toes, both your hands pulling at his arm. A few hellos left your lips as you waved to the people who whistled over at you. His hand squeezed at yours as you continued to drag him through the crowded room, the quiet hallway finally welcoming the two of you as you held open the door for him. He reached forward, letting you walk in first.

“It’s Bliss right?”

He asked as he shut the door quietly, examining your body language change at him using your stage name.

“Please don’t call me Bliss, it’s okay, just don’t call me anything.”

You spoke to him as you put your hand on your hip, pointing to the chair.

“You can get comfortable, but before you do.. You do want this right? I didn’t drag you from the boys and make you uncomfortable?”

Your genuine concern made Leon’s heart flutter, his arms being exposed as he pulled his jacket off and laid it on the arm of the chair. Leon nodded his head as his back hit the chair, surprised at how comfortable it really was.

“Thank god because I just had to see you.”

Your words came out in a string of mumbles, your leg coming up to straddle over him. The fabric of his jeans rubbed against your calf as you pressed against him, slowly just to make sure you weren’t pushing any limits. The back of your head laying onto his shoulder, his body shivering as your hair trickled over his skin.

Your hands rubbed forward, resting on your knees as you pressed your ass further into the tightness of his jeans, a groany whimper emitting from his throat. Your bottom lip slipped between your teeth as you reached down, your hands slipping over his.

“It’s okay, you can touch me.”

A breath of relief left the boys lips, his hands carefully grabbing at your waist. Your skin was softer than he imagined, his fingers brushing over the soft peach fuzz on your stomach. Your breathing was shaky, you knew he noticed because his was too. The room was getting tighter, you needed to be closer to him, and he agreed. His hands randomly squeezing at your flesh as you grinded yourself into him. Even with your skirt on, feeling his hardening cock under you made goosebumps rise to your skin, your mouth opening and your head turning to speak to him, your eyelids heavy before the door swung open.

Joe had his hand resting at his hip, his eyes going from you to Leon. Private dances were suppose to be confirmed by the boss, but this was different. You knew Joe wouldn’t understand. His tongue licking at his bottom lip.

“You’re good for the night.”

His voice was angry, and so cold. There goes your funds for tonight, now you only had your tips. You turned to Leon, shaking your head as you touched the top of his hand.

“So sorry..”

————-

Leon didn’t know why he sat waiting, all his friends left leaving him sitting in his jeep alone. His eyes closed as he laid his head back on the headrest, taking in a deep breath. He found comfort in your scent lingering on him. His eyebrows pushed together at the sounds of screaming, fixing his rear view window to see you walking out the back door, you flipping off Joe as he threw your makeup bag at you. This happens at least once a week. Leon immediately got out of his car, jogging over towards the small railing. He grabbed at the lipstick tube that had rolled to the bottom, standing up and walking towards you, his hand gently gripping at your shoulder. Your eyes shot up at him, your hand reaching to hold your chest.

“Jesus christ trying to scare a girl?”

Leon couldn’t help but chuckle as he helped you up, grabbing your makeup bag for you. His head turned to his car, his hand grabbing at the back of his neck.

“Do you want a ride?”

Like you said, an angel. You should’ve said no, but you couldn’t. It was freezing outside, and you lived all the way on the other side of the city. Leon could tell you felt bad by the way your hands held at your elbows. His hands gripping at the steering wheel, glancing over to you every once and awhile. You didn’t have the courage to tell him that you usually sleep at the club because your sister is a piece of shit and changes the locks if you’re even an hour late for rent. And you were a day late so she had the time. He stopped in front of your dark house, your head down at your knees before you it lifted up, turning to the handsome boy

“Let me stay with you, I’ll pay you.”

—————-

“There’s tons of blankets there in that closet, and there’s also lots of food in the cabinet and fridge. And if you wanna take a shower you can, my water pressure is great.”

Any normal person would’ve said no to you, especially under your circumstances. Leon’s apartment was much nicer than your house could ever be, it was a bit messy but it was alright because he was a young boy, what did you expect?

“And here, you can sleep on the bed. I’m more than comfortable on the couch I honestly pass out there most of the time anyways.”

Leon laughed as he threw his pillow down onto his small couch. You admired his laugh, the way his cheeks curled up when he smiled. The way his arm grabbed at the couch cushion made your stomach ache in the best way. You pointed to the spot next to him as you stepped in front of the TV his eyes fixated on.

“Can I sit with you?”

Leon’s body shifted, patting the spot next to him as he threw his pillow to the ground. His body radiated so much heat. Your body tensed up as his hand touched your shoulder slightly, his fingertips drawing shapes on your skin. This wasn’t normal everyday occurrence for you. Your head resting into his armpit, tilting yourself upward, his hair tickling your nose.

————

Nothing could explain how you ended up on top of Leon, his hands so scared to touch you like you were a fragile doll while your lips pressed so hungrily into his. His hands ran up and down your thighs, his grip loose. Your mouth pulled away from him, a string of spit connecting the two of you as you pushed the messy hair from his face. You pushed yourself further into his lap, your hands tugging at your shirt before you threw it to the ground. Leon stared at you in wonder, his lips still wet from your kisses not so long ago. Your head nodded at him as you reached down pulling his hands into yours, laying them on your stomach.

His hands were so shaky, but his eyes were dark, his eyelids hooded as his hands pressed into your stomach. Your eyes fluttered shut as he grabbed at your breasts, squeezing them in his hands. The innocence was being pulled from his body, his head dipping down to your chest. Your head leaned back as his soft lips wrapped around your nipple, his arm wrapping around your waist to pull you in closer to him as his tongue rubbed so roughly against the nub. A strangled moan left your lips as you ran your hands through his hair, watching as he basically breathed you in.

“That’s my good boy..”

You reached down, pulling his head from your chest to press your lips against his once again. Your legs fell from his lap, dropping to the ground as your lips pecked at the corner of his mouth. He looked so pretty, staring down as you trailed down his body, his breathing staggered as you yanked at his sweatpants. Leon’s hand hid the smile on his face as you gawked at his size, his cheeks flushing a deep red as he rubbed at his forehead.

It was mouth watering, seeing his length hard in front of your face, your hands rubbing at his base, causing his hips to lift into your hand. A giggle rose from your throat as you shook your head up at him.

“Don’t be so eager now.”

Your words were tied and slurred with lust. Your tongue pushing out of your mouth, tapping Leon’s tip against it. You closed your lips into a kiss, his precum seeping into your tastebuds. He tasted so fucking good, your eyes barely open as your hand held at what your mouth couldnt take. Who knew the rookie had such a big dick. The thought made you giggle around his cock, causing him to hiss in sensitivity as you began to bob your head. Leon’s hands held at your hair, his mouth open as he watched you suck in his cock.

“Oh fuck.. that’s so good..”

The boy whined out as your hand rested down to his knee, your eyes watering as you finally let your throat take all of him in. It’s like his cock was made to be down your throat, your tongue laying flat as you swallowed him.

“Wait, stop.. no, don’t stop- ngh..”

Leon’s fingers fisted up in your hair as you pulled yourself from his cock, your lips glistening as you tried catching at your breath. You kissed his tip, making him jolt before you stood, tugging your shorts down along with your panties, Your back turned to face Leon, your hips jutting out as you looked back, grabbing at his cock. You didn’t even have to say a word, his hand pushing yours away while his other pushed your folds apart, a moan pouring from his lips as he pushed himself into you, your eyes squeezed shut from how good just the tip of him felt inside of you, your back arching as you sunk yourself down in one swift motion, a squeal leaving your lips. Your hand shot to your mouth to try and conceal the loud yelp that would’ve followed. Leon grabbed at your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh as you squeezed around him.

“Jus’ don’t move..”

Leon whined as he squeezed his eyes shut, licking his lips. You nodded at him but your body didn’t understand, your hips rising then falling down onto him again, a whine leaving both of you. Your pace was steady, his hands rubbing up your back as you bounced on his cock so good.

“Fuck you’re squeezing me so good.”

Leon cried out as he rutted his hips up into you, his whines encouraging you to move your hips faster but a loud cry ripped from your throat as he bumped at your cervix.

“Fuck- Le, cock to big..”

You whined as you grinded into him, your eyes stinging with tears as you reached back, grabbing at his arms. His heavy breathing made you continue on, your thighs squeezing together as he held at your forearms. You pushed your head to the side, watching him from the corner of your eye, his lip between his teeth as his head leaned against the comfy couch cushion.

“Feel good? Tell me how good it feels baby”

You spoke back to him, your body jolting forward as he thrusted up into you, his hands grabbing at your waist as he apologized, he finally gained the confidence to meet your hips with every bounce, your vision growing more blurry every time his pelvis smacked against your ass. The sound of skin smacking and heavy breathing echoed through the apartment, Leon let out a loud moan as he stopped your hips, his breathing heavy as he tried to calm himself down.

“Gonna cum in you, slow down..”

Leon whimpered as you turned your back to look at him, your thighs shaking slightly as you frowned at the boy. Your stomach was throbbing, the rubber band ready to snap in your stomach started to unravel the longer he stalled you there.

“Jesus christ..”

He whispered out as he let go of your hips, his palm shaping perfectly to the small of your back he helped you regain your pace. There it was, that tightness in your stomach again. Your mouth falling into an O shape as your walls spasmed around him, making him cry out, his nails leaving little crescent’s in your skin as he shot himself into you. Your eyes were sealed shut, a small “why” leaving your lips as Leon pulled you off of him, helping you stand. Your eyes fluttered open to stare at the perfect man in front of you, his face flushed red and his hair a mess.

“Thank you.”

He mumbled as he leaned down, kissing your lips softly. He pulled you so tightly into him, holding you to his chest as you squeezed him. He didn’t want you to walk out and leave just like it meant nothing. You looked up at him, kissing his chin before he lifted you up, making you squeal grabbing at his arms.

“Leon!”

You yelled as he threw you down onto the bed, lying himself on top of you.

“What’s your name?”

He mumbled into your skin as he twirled your hair around his finger. You stared up at the ceiling, your fingers dancing over the muscles on his back.

“Y/N. Nice to meet you, Leon.”

[meaningofaeons]

Hi there my pal my buddy!!! It's ya boi anon again here! ✨

I was wondering if I can go for a cat cafe visit with your local businessman scammer ✨Sampo Koski✨ on my hands, oh and also I has slight anger issues slash denial /that I have crush for Sampo/ attitude when going with him /ᐠ - ˕ -マ/ oh we gone there to play with both orange Himalayan and Abyssinian cat, ended our time with drinking hot cocoa!! 😋 ((I HOPE I WRITE IT RIGHT 😭😭😭))

I think that's all, congratulations for your 500+ followers once again (you deserve that and more ngl!!💕) and thank you so much in advance!

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ not quite so slick

⊹ character(s) - sampo koski ⊹ word count - 1.0k ⊹ notes - gn!reader, fluff, silvermane guard!reader, belobog story spoilers, sampo being his dumb silly self as usual, sad pathetic pining on his end we love him here

⊹ katze's 500 follower writing cat-baret

HII!!! thank you for the sweet ask omg <3!!! you wrote it correct dw!! yes our favorite businessman def not a scammer....... huhu Σ(;Φ ω Φ) I hope you enjoy your "cat cafe date" with mr cold feet, mr koski himself !!!

Ever since the order to seal off the Underworld had been rescinded, your job had gotten a lot more hectic.

Well, that's not to say you were alone in that. Many of your fellow guards had been made to take on more work to pick up the slack after the crisis, and you were all spread thin.

However, Supreme Guardian Bronya had deigned to send you to the Underworld, of all places.

And a certain blue-haired "merchant" could not be happier about your newfound assignment.

"Well, isn't this just peachy! If it's any Silvermane Guard down here, I'd want it to be you, Y/N!"

"Enough with the flattery. I'm on shift, Sampo."

"Oh, come on, now! When do we get the opportunity to spend some quality time together like this? When the order was initially given, I was heartbroken—"

"Sampo, you were able to come to the Overworld anyways!"

"Doesn't change my feelings, my dear! I missed seeing your sweet face, and..."

You were forced to sit through hours of the infamous Mr. Koski buzzing around you.

Even when you changed positions, moving from one end of Boulder Town to the next to keep watch, the man followed you like a puppy, eager to talk your ear off and aggravate you to death.

Of course, this is just how he was. Schmoozing up to anyone he could, trying to avoid culpability for some scam or another that he ran only a few hours (and sometimes even minutes) prior.

And clearly, he was beginning to think of you as an easy mark. You silently considered making it clear that you were far from it.

But when you bumped into Natasha of Wildfire, she seemed to have a different idea on why Sampo was so insistent on staying by your side.

"He's quite obvious, isn't he?"

The lovely woman chuckled, folding her arms over her chest as she watched Sampo scamper off after another verbal lashing from you.

You knew who she was, and you were thankful of her efforts in the Underworld. However, without being properly acquainted and only knowing each other's names, you were still wary. You turned your eyes onto her, assessing her intent in approaching you before speaking up yourself.

"Yes, as much as he loves touting his skills in his trade, I fear that it's all too clear when he's trying to worm his way out of something."

The surprise on Natasha's face caught you off guard.

"...What?"

"Oh, my apologies. I just thought you knew."

"Knew? Knew what?"

The woman giggled, stifling it with a polite hand over her lips.

"Dear, he's quite smitten with you."

As much as you wanted to scoff at your words—and truthfully, a huff of disbelief did leave you—the sudden confession made you turn red as a cherry.

"That's ridiculous. He's like that with everyone he's trying to wring dry of money. Or with every Silvermane Guard. I'm no exception, he just thinks I'm easy."

Natasha smiled, clicking her tongue.

"Y/N of the guards, right?" You nodded. "I'd be remiss to not tell you the full truth, but I've never heard Sampo Koski rave about anyone as much as you. When he mentions other guards or people he's flattered, he's always very lackadaisical, if he even mentions them at all. Trust me, he has eyes for you."

You paused.

Then, you started walking away, as speedily as you could without seeming hasty.

"Y/N?"

"I-I'm going to give him a piece of my mind! If that really is true, then I'm telling him to fix his delusions this instant! Good day, Natasha!"

The woman only laughed, shaking her head and turning back to head into her clinic.

When you finally found Sampo after a few minutes of searching (truthfully, you had noticed the way you could find him quicker than any other, despite the fact that he evaded the other guards so well), he was whistling a tune, holding a bouquet in his left hand.

Right. Now that trade had opened back up between the upper and lower portions of Belobog...

You shook your head, stomping up behind the man. He turned to meet you, emerald eyes sparkling.

"Heeey, Y/N! I was just about to come find you again! So, guess what I got for y—"

"Is it true?"

His unflappable grin faltered, and he tilted his head, chuckling nervously—almost in the same way he did when a client was getting cross, but not quite.

"W-Whaddya mean? Did my favorite Silvermane Guard get some weird hearsay put into their pretty little hea—"

"I spoke with Natasha. So, is it true?"

Sampo stopped in his tracks, the barest hint of pink seeping into his cheeks as he laughed anxiously.

However, he didn't miss the way your eyes hardened, how your fist clenched as though anticipating a negative response.

He swallowed thickly.

"U-Uhm, I mean, not that I know what you're talking about exactly, but, uh—" Your brow furrowed, and Sampo rushed out his remaining sentence. "If it's what I'm thinking of, and that could be many different things—"

"Koski!"

"Yes, it's true!"

You both stood in silence, until the blue-haired con artist began rambling away.

"I thought, 'Hey, Sampo Koski is a subtle guy! Maybe that subtlety would be lost on a lovely guard like Y/N, and he oughta put his best foot forward in being upfront and obvious!' But then, you weren't quite picking up what your old friend Sampo was putting down, and—"

"Sampo Koski."

He hadn't even noticed you approach, standing right before him as he endlessly jabbered.

"Well, Miss Nat told me to go ahead and be 'forward and open', but you know I'm not that type of guy, haha, and—well, ah..."

He looked down at you, dangerously close to his face. His smile became lopsided with nerves.

"And... and, um... Would you..." The man clasped his hands together, expression turning sheepish. That slight flush in his cheeks had spread across his face.

"Would you hit me if I kissed you?"

"I might if you don't."

And before he could say another word, your lips were pressed firmly against his.

[sgiandubh]

What makes a very mature and educated woman confuse the charisma of Jamie and Claire and fall behind the illusion of Sam and Cait?

Look at this picture and many others, look at Cait's smile and the happiness in her eyes

Look at the color of Tony's lips, I don't need to continue

Below this picture are many pictures of them from many years ago

This man has been a reality since 2015, so let us accept reality even if we do not like it

Note: I would love to read everything you write aside from Outlander and S&C

Dear (b)Itchy Anon,

Ah, yes. You folks are definitely a very predictable bunch, because you simply cannot help yourself and just have to do it. Every. Single. Christmas. Eve. For reasons transparent enough to make you & your kin instantly unlikeable.

I was just thinking, the other day, believe it or not. I was thinking of the disingenuous way you - or someone like you - engaged with @cb4tb on another Christmas Eve and told myself: 'I bet the farm this year it's going to be me'. And here we are, with a rather long - and also, rather curious- comment. What am I going to do with you, Anon? Just write a rather long and ironic answer to your delirious rant, what else?

Calling me 'very mature' made me spit my Pepsi - always better in Romania than the eternal Coca-Cola - and I have to dubiously and cheaply congratulate myself, too. In about six months, you were forced to transition from 'Christ, shippers are stupid' to 'Golly, some -if not most - of them really are educated people'. An apparent paradox that never made you question your surroundings.

For instance, I do not need to wear a turban, sport a cigarette holder, rent a garish tent and call myself Miss Cleo, in order to tell with eerie precision English is not your mother tongue, either. You still do have a big problem with phrasal verbs, because you couldn't have possibly meant I 'fell behind the S&C illusion', but rather that 'I fell for that illusion'. You see, falling behind is 'failing to do something in time' or 'being late with a due payment' or 'being unable to make the same progress as one's peers'. We, shippers, naturally have this kind of superpowers. And seasoned bullshit-o-meters, too.

For your information, I haven't. I explained it at length. There is no possible way to do it if one uses common sense and street smarts only. What I did see, along with thousands of other people, mind you, had absolutely -forgive me, Father, for I am about to sin again - fucking nothing to do with Seamus and Sorcha. I mean, d'oh - is this your best argument, Anon? That sad, wilted talking point? Wow. Just wow.

Then, you totally lose control and take The Scarecrow out of the closet (yes, pun totally intended), in the hope you'll make me screech with dread & horror, I suppose. Exactly which one of the five to ten max Tait pics am I supposed to look at? The one at the marathon, where he checks her pulse? The one in Australia, when he pitifully dangles that stick on a beach? The one with the flute? The fist-in-hand one? The one at this year's IFTA, where she looks through him and he begs for a smile? I shall never know, because you do not add any picture and since I am not Miss Cleo, there's no way I could ever guess. Instead, you describe Neverland in Technicolor, lips included (so help me God, I never looked at McIdiot's lips: I take pride in being mentally sound). Indeed, there is no need to continue, Anon, lest you would insist to ridicule yourself.

This man has been a (questionably) useful prop since 2016, in order to give credence to a narrative. You all know it. You all deny it. You live in a parallel reality, currently embraced by PR. Amen. That does not give you the right to police this fandom and no, your derailed zeal will not get you any Brownie points from C.

Speaking only for myself, I will tell you one last time: I will never blindly accept a convenient compromise fiction just because TPTB and/or PR tell me so.

Note: I doubt my writing interests you. I really do, because I don't deal in fanfic. And even if I am an Oriental, know flattery never worked with me. In fact, I can't stand it.

It's Christmas. Take a break from all this pathetic hatred, Anon: if you have but a cell left of humanity in yourself, you can't possibly be proud of this message and there are far more interesting and meaningful ways to spend this special day. He came for you, too. And that is the most important thing in the world, right now.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

I am the anon who asked for eve cuteness.

So...Eve with the other god killers?

Plz?

Reading this I’m assuming when you said god killers you meant those who managed to win their fights so that’s what I’m going with.

-Eve mourned her husband- the man she loved and had loved for so many years, watching him push his body to the limits to protect his- no… to protect their children, all of them, only to lose the fight.

-Her sons did their best, while fighting through their own tears- their own pain, to comfort their mother, without many results.

-It was Brunnhilde who was the one to pull Eve out of her tears, giving her a holographic recording of Adam, showing his speech, he was willing to give everything to save his children.

-Seeing his resolve made her sniffle, happy tears now replacing the sad ones before she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, eyes narrowing, “I’ve got to do my part now- I’ve got to cheer my children on!”

-Kojiro, being the first, was very… adorable with Eve, immediately shouting, holding up a blanket to her while blushing bright red, “Forgive me young lady but cover yourself!!”

-Hrist, who knew Eve, introduced her to Kojiro, and he was surprised to learn this beautiful young woman was the mother of all humanity.

-Eve held his hand gently, “I’m so proud of you Kojiro! You fought so hard!” he knew that she had lost her husband, but she was there congratulating him, like a mother and he felt warmth spread through his chest, thanking her.

-Jack was another whom Eve initially thought as shy, as he ran away from her, unable to handle her brilliance- her inner colors blazing with so much love and warmth that he felt intimidated.

-When Eve finally caught him, thanks to Hlokk tripping him into one of her piles of stuffed toys, Jack froze as she held him close, his head on her chest, but there was nothing sexual about it- it was so warm, so unlike the embraces he had from his own mother, it was like the hugs from Anne.

-Eve knew what Jack had dealt with, and despite learning the truth, that he was a killer of killers, and not Jack the Ripper as he claimed to be, Eve still accepted him, she didn’t berate him or push him away, which Jack was anticipating. She knew, despite his ‘hobby’ he was still her son and she was still going to love him.

-While Buddha was a god, he was a human first, and he was quick to melt into her embrace, hugging her back, mourning Zerofuku. She stroked his head, comforting him, doing her best to assure him as he fell to his knees, hugging her close.

-She remained in the infirmary with Qin Shi Huang, worrying over him as he was in the recovery tank, and when he woke up, she was the first person he saw, and he remembered seeing her there, waiting for him.

-He was surprisingly quiet, acting so unlike himself, being very respectful to his ‘mother’ but he adored her, enjoying her affections and hugs, melting into them and allowing himself to be weak for a while.

-While she still did miss her husband, her family was growing and those that she sought out were right there beside her, cheering for the other fighters, mourning them if they lost and seeking them out to check on them if they won.

-These warriors were all fiercely protective of their mother, even if she didn’t birth them- they were her children, and they wouldn’t let anyone hurt their mother.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hello, I see the asks are open! Here is some of this cake I got after killing a slime in the skull cavern: 🍰 just ignore the purple slime on it, I'm sure it's fine. lol. Definitely not a bribe. Anyway.

I made a character recently who adopted a child. Could I ask for some headcannons for how the characters react to the farmer tearing up after their adopted child casually calls them dad/mom for the first time.

For context, their adoption was from before they moved to stardew valley but is still pretty recent and the child has a few abandonment issues so it's a pretty big deal. If it's ok, could I ask for the expanded characters as well?

*Chewing cake* Oh, I thought that purple thing was plum jam. Hmm... *Still chewing the cake* Delicious 😋 Thank you! So, about the question...

I'm not sure, dear anon, exactly which characters you meant, so I did the bachelors/ettes, also added the ones from SVE as well. Thanks for the question! Enjoy!

Hedcanons is written on a situation where the characters know for the situation of the Farmer and their child, that they had adopted the kid before coming to the Valley, and that the child had a sense of abandonment.

SDV/SVE bachelors:

Shane understands more than anyone how much a tsunami of emotions can knock you down at times like this. The day he put Jas to bed and she sleepily called him "Dad" he'll never forget. The girl had already forgotten it, but Shane remembered it forever.

A feeling of abandonment... When Alex's abusive father left him alone with his mother, and later she passed away... It took athlete a long time to shake off the feeling of being unwanted. It's a blessing that he still has his grandparents, and that this child has a loving parent, Farmer.

If you see a little river coming out of nowhere near your feet, just know it's all Elliott's tears. The writer was so touched by the event, its like as if it was his own child calling him father. Elliott doesn't want to get involved right now, but he will congratulate Farmer later.

Sebastian, without noticing it himself, smiled broadly as the crying Farmer hugged their adopted child. Even though he doesn't fully realize how important this is to Farmer, he's genuinely happy for them.

Sam, who in the absence of his father has become not only Vincent's best big brother but now part father figure, truly understands Farmer, even if their situations are a bit different. Every child should have a family and Sammy is glad that this kid have the Farmer in their life.

Humanity is capable of incredible cruelty, but also great compassion and kindness. And Harvey's glasses get a little wet when he witnesses true kindness. He can't put into words how happy he is for this kid and how proud he is of Farmer.

Victor would definitely need a whole box of tissues, maybe two. The fact that the Farmer's foster child could finally feel like a member of the family touched Victor so much that he cried quietly.

The sight of a crying Farmer hugging their kid makes Magnus both smile and feel unbearably sad at the same time. What it's like when a child calls you dad, alas, Magnus will probably never know.

Lance's heart filled with joy when abandoned children found a family again. The adventurer, however, took it upon himself to scold the Farmer if they risked their lives for no good reason, where a child might be left without a family again.

SDV/SVE bachelorettes:

Penny had to cover her face with her hands, for her face was already a little swollen and red from the endless flow of tears. How happy Penny is for them! The girl wishes all the best for this family.

No child should ever feel abandoned, and Leah is very proud of Farmer that even though they were young, they were able to be a great parent to a child. It's not something everyone can do.

As much as Abigail tried to hide her tears, she failed. And you know what? She doesn't care! Even a man with a stone for a heart would shed a tear. The little one deserves a home and a loving family. Hell yeah, Farmer, good job!

Oh, how happy Emily is for them, how happy she is! Happy people and acts of kindness will always overwhelm her with positive emotions. Especially after all the troubles the kid has been through, she is glad child found people who love and care for them.

"Awww" Maru couldn't help gasp in tenderness, and can you blame her when her friend and their child are so happy? She would congratulate Farmer later, she didn't want to distract them right now.

As Haley was about to take a picture of the happy family to give to them later, she stopped herself at the last moment. It seemed to her that it was too personal to take a picture without asking. So Haley would only observe this beautiful scene. Ugh, her tears made her mascara run....

Sophia is about to cry herself to tears. Such a touching moment, she just can't hold back her tears at the sight of her crying friend and how much a child's words mean to Farmer.

Coming out of Jojamart for a break, Claire happened to witness this moment when she saw Farmer standing in the park in the spot where the cashier usually rested. They were crying and cuddling their child. She was very happy for both of them, and decided to rest elsewhere, not wanting to disturb the parent and their kid.

The happy child and their wonderful parent are sure to be the first gossip Olivia tells her friends. Running a farm and giving a family to an adopted kid is a lot of work and a lot of responsibility, and the woman is genuinely happy for the child and proud of Farmer.

[gibson-g1rl]

dad Evan Peters meeting his new born daughter and their son isn’t too happy about his new sibling?

My Babies

Evan Peters x Fem Reader

Warnings: nothing but fluff :)

a/n: to this anon, I am so sorry for answering this so late😭 I just haven’t had any motivation to write and I’ve had this uncompleted in my drafts for a while now but I really hope you like this :)

With one final push, your head fell back, exhaustion taking over your body but before you would let sleep consume you, your head shot up, searching for your baby girl. Your head searched the delivery room until a nurse calmly put your sweet girl into your arms.

"Congratulations mama." She said as you smiled down at your girl. You looked up to see Evan coming towards you, a huge smile on his face and his eyes glossed over with tears.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your head, brushing a few stray hairs from your face.

"My beautiful girls." He said looking between you and your baby. You slowly lifted her up and placed her in Evan's arms, his eyes filled with nothing but love as he looked at her. It melted your heart.

**** You were finally able to go home, your girl in your hands as you walked up to your mother-in-law sitting with your son in the waiting room.

"Mommyyy!" You heard him scream as he ran up to you. You smiled as he wrapped his arms around your legs. You leaned down to his height, your free hand going up to tousle his hair.

"Hey baby, how was your time with Nana?" You said as you looked towards your son.

"It was good, but I missed you and daddy." He said as he wrapped his arms around you.

"Ooo, be careful baby, your sister's sleeping; do you want to meet her?" You asked your son, Dylan as he unwrapped his arms from you.

He stomped his foot on the floor and shook his head 'no' as he made his way over to Evan. Your face dropped at this; you were afraid this was going to happen. Dylan had been an only child for four years now and your sudden pregnancy shocked everyone.

Evan smiled at you and nodded his head, letting you know that he’ll handle it until the two of you could get home and sit down with Dylan properly. 

“Buddy, why don’t you tell me all about how you terrorized your nana huh?”

Evan swooped Dylan into his arms and lifted him over his shoulder, your son’s laugh echoed as you made your way to Evan’s car. You smiled at the moment before looking down at your daughter, smiling as she moved around in your arms. 

****

You were all home in no time, moving towards your daughter's room and sitting down in the chair close to her crib. Evan followed after you, kneeling down in front of you and placing a sweet kiss against your forehead. You smiled up at him before placing a quick kiss to his lips. 

Both of you looked down at your baby girl, smiling as she pursed her lips and moved around in your lap.

”She’s beautiful.” Evan said as he looked up at you.

You smiled at his statement, nodding your head in agreement. Your focus was quickly pulled away from your daughter as you heard the door to her room creak. You looked towards the door and saw your son peeking his head in.

“Hey sweetie, why don’t you come inside?” Evan looked towards the door as well as you spoke up, opening his arms as he looked at Dylan. Your son just shook his head before running off. 

You sighed in defeat, tears welling up in your eyes at seeing your boy sad. You couldn’t control your tears as they cascaded down your cheeks. Evan’s hands immediately flew to your cheeks, wiping the hot tears and rubbing your cheek affectionately. 

“Don’t cry baby, I’m sure he’ll come around soon.” 

You shook your head as you got up from the couch, handing your daughter carefully to Evan before wiping your cheeks. 

“I know, I know, I just feel like- fuck I don’t know; I’m just gonna go check up on him okay?” 

Evan nodded at your statement, placing a kiss against your temple as he cuddled your daughter closer to his chest. 

You began making your way to your son’s room, knocking on the door before peeking in. Your eyes fell on him playing with a few of his toys. He looked up from them at the sound of your knock, smiling at your head peeking in. 

“Hey Dyl, can I come in?” You asked him, moving towards him once he nodded his head. 

You sat down on the mat next to him and pat your lap, signaling for him to move into it. 

He quickly climbed into your lap, your arms moving to his stomach and wrapping your arms around him. 

“You, okay? You can talk to me you know that right?” You said as you looked down at him. He nodded his head at your words, turning in your lap to face you before speaking up. 

“You and daddy have been paying all your attention to sissy and I’m jus scared that you and daddy are gonna love her more than me.” He said as a frown settled on his face. 

Your heart broke at his revelation, tears welling up in your eyes again. 

“Oh baby no, that would never happen. Only reason daddy and I are paying so much attention to your sister right now is because she’s still very tiny and she needs a lot of help and I know things are different and crazy right now, but it’ll all get calmer with time and don’t ever think that we won't love you as much. We love both you and your sissy equally and we love you both so, so much baby.” You said as you tightened your arms around your boy. 

He smiled before giving you a huge hug, muttering an ‘I love you mommy’ before standing up and grabbing your hand.

“Can I meet her now?” He said as he looked up at you. You smiled at him before leading him towards her room. 

****

A few days had passed and after your son had met your daughter, he had not left her side since. You were so relieved, smiling at every interaction he had with her. 

It was currently 8pm on a Friday evening, you had left Evan and your kids at home to make a quick run to your closest grocery store. 

You had finally made it back and upon entering your house it was quiet, too quiet considering you had a 4-year-old and a newborn. Your eyebrows raised in suspicion as you moved towards the kitchen counter. 

Setting down your bags you called out Evan’s name but got no return back, you called out your son’s name right after but there was only dead silence answering you back. 

You moved throughout the house, checking your son’s room first, then your daughters and then finally your and Evan’s shared room. 

You opened the door, and a smile immediately etched its way onto your face. Your heart grew warm at the sight in front of you; your daughter was peacefully asleep on Evan’s chest, her body rising up and down with each breath Evan took. Your son was tucked into his father’s side, his arm draped over his sister. They were both wrapped tightly in their father’s hold, Evan’s one arm on his daughter’s back and his other around your son. 

The three of them were fast asleep, the sight making you feel like the luckiest woman on Earth. 

You moved towards them and placed a kiss on each of their heads, careful not to wake them. 

**** 

taglist: @yes-divine-ruler @v-love @laynna-mcknight @demxnicprxncess @hxney-lemcn @evanpetersfav @kitwalkersgfff @soaringcloud @lollipopd @stilespeters

let me know if you’d like to be added or removed to/from the taglist :)

[academic-vampire]

This is a message for the other anon. If you think it is okay to share it with them, please do. (And if you choose to do that, thank you.)

I just want to say that they are never going through it alone.

By your words I think you chose not telling your father and if you are feeling any guilt about that, don’t. I choose to not to tell everyday. From another perspective it might look like it’s not a wise decision, but no one can know how hard it is to live with that guilt just to protect your family’s peace and your father’s mental health. And I congratulate you if that’s the case. Right now he is going through something unimaginable.

About your mother’s reaction, try to refrain from thinking that she is right and that she meant any of it. Like OP said — you wouldn’t be sad if someone tried to make fun of your purple tshirt when you are wearing a white one.

Cheaters, they try to find a person to blame with all the rage they have because they got caught, sadly it is usually the child. Never forget that she is the one who made a wrong decision and it was only her fault.

I have to say, I am impressed by your kindness and hoping to ease both of their pain. Most people wouldn’t be able to do that. Please act kind towards yourself too.

This was just to remind you that if you ever feel like you are going through it alone, you never are. Wish I could give you a hug but just imagine I did. Stay strong, best wishes for you and your family. <3

Here is a message to the other anon who confessed earlier. From one anon to another, haha—very sweet. Cheaters are responsible for themselves and their own actions, whether they like it or not.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

The cult needs to STFU. Even if Jikook aren't dating, he has shown up more for Jk, then anyone lately. Who went to be with Jk during his single release in NY & Silver Day? Jimin. Who didn't? Who was first to post about Jk's BB 100? Jimin. Who didn't? Who was first to congratulate Jk on his bday? Jimin. Who didn't? Who came live to tell us to keep wishing for Jk's birthday? Jimin. Who didn't? Who was with JK on White Day in 2022? Jimin. Who wasn't? Who visited JK in his comments on White Day live 2023 when JK was alone, even tho he himself was out of the country and busy & when others were actually in Korea and didn't see JK? Oh that's right, Jimin. You know the live where JK was lonely, sad, crying, bringing up GCF Tokyo trip, playing There for You, spoiling all of Jimin's songs, even playing JVKE, knowing it was about to be released Jimin was working with him. Spoiling Set Me Free part 2 and then eventually told us to look forward to it. It was Jimin again and again and again. Where was Tae during all this? Since they want to always drag Tae into Jikook's business. Where was Tae last year on JK's bday? So Tae flew 14 hours from Washington to go straight to his friends premiere off the plane, but couldn't go see JK on his bday, after a 14 hour flight, his married partner he shares two adopted kids with? I guess between spending time with JN his GF in NY (since she was there when Tae was) and that 14 hour flight home, he just didn't have any more energy to go his husband. Where was Tae during JK's 2020 birthday? Oh yeah, at home asking Jimin to come sleep with him instead. Tae loves JK okay. You don't have to tell us. We know they do, but they aren't fucking and they aren't dating. They are friends. And honestly, if I were you, I'd just shut my fucking mouth about Jikook, because if this really was a dick measuring contest, which Taekookers try to make it out to be on which duo is more gay and has more potential to be real, sorry, but Taekook are coming in last. Vmin have a more real chance of being real over Taekook, considering Tae actually writes songs about Jimin and said he likes him the most. Clowns. All of them. So, no amount of TK Premiere appearances or bowling with friends, will ever change the fact that Tae just went public with JN in Paris, holding her hand, after nearly 2 years of dating proofs of them were leaked. Don't ever fucking speak on Jimin or Jikook again. Not while one half of your ship is in a now made public relationship, done on purpose by both Tae and JN. Losers. You got bigger things to worry about, then Jikook.

Oh and get your damn lies straight while you're at it. JK didn't hear Tae's album first. JK never once said this. Stop making up shit. He said he heard it. It was Jimin in 2022 Festa who said he and Tae had a listening party TOGETHER and Tae played him all his songs first. So sorry cult, soulmate is the one who actually heard his album first, confirmed by Vmin. It was Jimin and Tae agreed. But guess what else. Tae was with JN like 3 days after that Festa Dinner filmed, so he probably played them all for her too, while they were caught by a local in the car together on their Jeju date. Better luck next time losers.

Hi anon,

Agree with everything!

Tkkrs should be the last people celebrating anything right now.

Their ship never sailed to begin with.

The interactions between Tae and Jk have always been because they are friends. There is nothing else other than a friendship bond.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[moriavis]

Prompt: someone says they need a hug, but only because they think the other person needs one. Any fandom. 🙂

This isn't a kiss prompt, but it's cute!

(Also, to the anon who requested sugar daddy barry, that turned into a longer thing than I expected, but I am working on it!)

Today is technically Hug Your Dog day, but I'm a cat person, so... Hug Your Cat? Featuring pre-series!Adora and Catra.

~*~

Catra was in a bad mood today. She was already gone when Adora woke up, which never boded well. Adora steeled herself, taking a deep breath, and then started her routine as though she wasn't already missing Catra like a phantom limb.

She wasn't there at breakfast, or at training, and Adora's sense of unease deepened. She looked over at Lonnie as she shoveled food into her mouth. "Where's Catra?"

Lonnie rolled her eyes. "You're the only one that keeps track of her. Not my problem if you've lost your cat."

Adora shot her a narrow glare. "You could at least pretend to care."

Kyle bit his lip and offered, "I saw Catra going out, but she didn't tell me where she was going."

Adora sighed. "Thanks, Kyle." She finished her meal and bussed her tray without waiting for the others, and she headed toward Catra's favorite hiding spot: a high bridge that connected the training facility and the dorms. Catra always managed to climb up to the bridge easily, which made Adora quietly envious. She was sweaty and tired by the time she caught sight of Catra, and it still took her several minutes of effort to climb up to her side.

They sat in silence for a minute as Adora caught her breath, and she used the extra time to sneak looks at Catra from the corners of her eyes. It looked like Catra had been crying and Adora stared down at the ground so far below them.

Catra would get prickly if Adora tried to be nice, so... "Hey." Adora tried to look appropriately sad. "I had really bad dreams all night. That I didn't get a promotion to Force Captain and you were awesome and cool and left me alone."

Catra peered at Adora over the cover of her crossed arms, her tail lashing quietly at her side. At least Adora had her attention.

"And then I woke up and you were gone, and it just felt... too real." Adora's eyes stung at the thought, and she swallowed past a lump in her throat that hadn't been there a second ago. "Can you give me a hug?" Catra stared at her for a moment and then uncurled, wrapping her arms around Adora. Adora congratulated herself on her success and squeezed Catra tight enough to make her grunt. "Why were you gone?"

"Shadow Weaver," Catra muttered, and she hid her face against the curve of Adora's shoulder, refusing to say any more.

Adora didn't mind.

She would sit there on that bridge and hug Catra forever if she'd let her.

~*~

[voxofthevoid]

So chapter 220 seems like it kind of threw out the theories that Kenjaku is interested in Yuuji at all now that he's not Sukuna's vessel. Or at least not his plans/interest in Yuuji doesn't involve Yuuji living. Kinda sad about this from the momjaku point of view, but do you think that we still might see any real momjaku interactions?

I'm absolutely holding out hope for Yuuji being traumatized in new and entertaining ways Mumjaku interactions. Please, Gege, feed us.

I wouldn't say Kenjaku implementing that rule about all CG players except themself and Megumikuna needing to die is particularly contradictory to how I view them and their interest in Yuuji. To be specific, I don't think Kenjaku's ever-changing plans were ever going to be kind to Yuuji, and straight-up death might honestly be gentler on the guy than anything that would've entailed him continuing to be Sukuna's vessel (or a cage, rather) while Kenjaku's plans march on. And, with the rules the protags added for saving Tsumiki, it's not implausible that Kenjaku could still keep Yuuji alive if they want, but that's just a theoretical possibility and not one I think the plot will head toward. Only that, if we're speculating on what Kenjaku's plans (if any) mean for Yuuji, the new rules they added to the CG don't necessarily mean intended filicide.

The thing is, I have no earthly idea what Kenjaku wants at the end of all this. Nothing that comes out of their mouth is trustworthy; they lie like breathing and cheerfully contradict themself. Their actions speak louder, but we still only know so much about them.

They're also not a plan-every-detail villain, like Aizen Sousuke from Bleach for instance. I'd say Kenjaku's greatest strength is their sheer adaptability.* Everything we've seen about them shows that they got so far by (a) using coincidental developments like the Star Plasma Vessel business to their advantage, (b) rolling with the punches to an insane degree, as in the battle with Yuki, and (c) pure fucking luck, also seen in the battle with Yuki.

I'm saying this because nothing about Yuuji's vesselhood implies Kenjaku had a great deal of control over how the whole thing unraveled. They seem to have made him to be a certain way, body and soul, and it's reasonable to assume it had to do with Sukuna, but (a) why, exactly and (b) is it only about Sukuna? Kenjaku says they intend for Yuuji to coexist with Sukuna, and they seem to have a part to play in Yuuji being more cage than vessel, but when Sukuna hops to Megumi and starts running around being his menace self, Kenjaku doesn't even bat an eye. It's further evidence of the aforementioned adaptability, but it also raises the question of what exactly they did to Yuuji, why, and if there's more to it than what we've seen so far.

In sum (I'm sorry, anon, I cannot be concise to save my life), it could be that Kenjaku has lost interest in Yuuji, but it could also be that they have further plans. They could also simply be interested in seeing what he makes of himself; that would be in line with their general approach to things. We really need those Mumjaku interactions—for science.

Thanks for asking this! I had fun hashing out my thoughts on the whole thing.

* I was going to say Yuuji seems to have inherited that from them, but then I remembered that Jin saw his dead wife come back to life with stitches on her forehead and axe-murderer eyes and decided to make a baby with her. Congratulations, Yuuji, both your parents are batshit.

[ejzah]

I just finished your latest story on ff "The Least Damage" and it was soooo good! Congratulations, your work is amazing ❤️ I was wondering if you could continue that story. Even as the days go by deeks can't let go of the guilt of hurting kensi and starts to having nightmares about it and kensi tries to make him feel better abt it. Maybe you could connect it with the trauma form his childhood and his dad, if you want to

A/N: Anon, you made my day when I read this! I’m glad you enjoyed the story. Sorry for taking so long to get to it. Just as a forewarning, the dreams get fairly graphic.

***

The Least Damage, Part 2

Deeks held himself as still as possible. He was hyper-aware of Kensi’s every breath, the tiniest twitch as she shifted under the covers. No more than a few inches separated them, but it might as well have been a deep, endless cavern because Deeks wouldn’t dare let himself cross it.

Arms laid flat on either side, he inhaled shallowly; while his heart had stopped racing a couple minutes ago, he couldn’t quiet the horrific images from his latest nightmare. Of course, the memories of what Deeks had done to Kensi haunted him when he was awake too. His dreams though, they managed to twist it into something infinitely worse.

They were in the warehouse, Kensi surrounded by armed men. She shot him a desperate look, begging him to step him. He charged at her, attacking without mercy. Only this time, he didn’t stop. He kept pounding and pounding, until she couldn’t fight back. Until she was flat on the ground, and blood pooled from her mouth and nose. Even when she begged him to stop, her voice weak and terrified, he kept hitting her.

As she stared up at him with disbelief and betrayal in his eyes, he laughed then. With Kensi dying on the cold concrete, he heard the echo of his father’s laugh, and not his own.

Deeks shuddered at the memory, feeling sick all over again. Raising a trembling hand, he clumsily brushed his hair off his forehead. His skin was slick with sweat, and he felt slightly feverish.

He glanced over at Kensi, needing to assure himself one more time that she was alive. She lay with one hand tucked under cheek, the other spread in the opposite direction, and her legs splayed out in either direction. It was such a familiar position, and he had the sudden fear that just laying beside her would taint the peacefulness.

Quietly, he slid out of bed, and padded to the kitchen. It was still completely dark outside, so he turned on a light. After nights of little sleep, Deeks was running on pure will at this point, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore. So he started setting up a fresh pot of coffee, losing himself in the mindless activity.

“Hey, what are you doing up?” Kensi croaked behind him.

In his jittery state, Deeks jerked at the unexpected intrusion, knocking over the basket of coffee grounds.

“Geez, baby, calm down.” Kensi rushed to his side, reaching to help him clean the mess up, but skittered out of reach, immediately dropping his eyes to the wooden floor.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry I woke you up. You should go back to bed,” he said quickly.

“Not until you tell me why you’re making coffee at three in the morning and won’t look at me,” she replied. A quick glance showed she had her arms crossed, brows narrowed in concern.

“I just couldn’t sleep.” He needed her to leave; he couldn’t take her soft, sleep-rough voice any longer. It was tearing him apart.

“Baby, does this have anything to do with your nightmares?”

“How did you—?” he looked up in time to see Kensi smile in dismay at the confirmation.

“The circles under your eyes, the way you keep nodding off during dinner, and wake up way too early,” she answered with a sad shrug. “And, you’ve been talking in your sleep. One time you cried.”

Deeks turned away sharply, jaw tightening.

“Why did you wake me up?” What if Kensi had heard him say something from his dreams? He could only imagine the things that came out of his mouth in that state.

“I held you until it stopped.”

Suddenly she was right in front of him. God, he was really off if he didn’t notice her moving. She placed her hands on either side of him, bracing herself on the counter, and basically blocking any escape. Sure, he could break free if he really wanted to, but Deeks was still afraid of touching her at all let alone using any force.

“So, what are these dream about? Was it one of the old ones?” she asked, following his gaze as he tried to evade.

“Kensi—”

“Deeks, I’m worried about you. Please, don’t hide it from me.”

His shoulders slumped; he never could deny Kensi when she pleased with him. And he was so tired.

“It’s the warehouse,” he whispered.

Kensi inhaled sharply, immediately understanding the reference. He reached out, running his fingers just above her cheekbone without actually touching. Though bruises had faded days ago, he could easily imagine the ugly purple and blue shading.

“I keep dreaming about that day, and when I attack you, I don’t stop. Sometimes I stab you, or strangle you.”

“Oh my god,” Kensi gasped, but he barely heard it. Now that he’d started, it was like he’d opened a dam.

“Or I beat you until you stop breathing,” he continued, voice breaking. “And, uh, the whole time, I hear my dad praising me. Only I’m not sure if it’s him or me.”

He sought out Kensi’s eyes through the tears filming his vision.

“I’m so sorry, Kensi.”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Kensi told him, sounding close to tears herself. Cupping his cheeks, she pressed their foreheads together, smoothing her thumbs along his jaw.

“But what if it woke up some part of me—”

“No.” She interrupted him softly, yet without a hint of doubt. “No, you are nothing like your father. You are kind, and good, and honorable. Your dreams wouldn’t worry you so much if you weren’t.”

“I’m still afraid to touch you,” Deeks admitted.

Kensi slid her arms down to embrace him, guiding his head down to her shoulder. She held him for several long moments until he hesitantly fisted his hands against her back.

“I trust you,” she murmured, echoing what she’d told him that day in the hospital.

He shuddered, his knees buckling as the last of his energy evaporated, and he sank to the floor, bringing Kensi with him. “I don’t know what to do,” he murmured. He pressed his palms to his eye sockets.

“Tomorrow we’re going to call the therapist,” Kensi said, pulling him against her side. He stiffened for a moment before relaxing into her side. “I think we both need to talk about this with someone.”

As much as he hated the idea, he nodded. He was a mess, and if this helped, even a little bit, he was willing to try. “Ok.”

“And no matter what, I’m going to keep holding you, and reminding you that those dreams aren’t true.”

***

A/N: Hope this was worth the wait.

Thanks for the prompt!

[drops-of-moonlights]

what relationship do winx/specialists etc have with their grandparents?

congratulations anon you made me want to draw them. you have untold powers to make me do such a thing. UNFORTUNATELY I ACTUALLY DIDN'T DRAW SHIT LMAO, just because that's a LOT of people and I'm. not about that. but I did do at LEAST some thinking of them! only covering the Winx here, maybe thoughts on the guys later.

Bloom has 2 sets of grandparents given, y'know, her DealTM. Both her grandpas passed away when she was a baby so she doesn't have memories of them, but she grew up lovingly with her grandmas. Silvana is her maternal grandma, a sweet old lady who taught her a bit of Spanish (as a reminder Vanessa is Mexican-American in the AU and so Bloom grew up with a bit of their traditions) and filled her with meals every time she visited. Her paternal grandma, Elizabeth doesn't visit as often as she lives in a different state, but Bloom loves her all the same. She's a retired office lady and always pushed Bloom to try everything she wanted - she was the one to buy Bloom a bow and archery gloves when she wanted to start archery.

As for Oritel and Marion's parents, she only knows her paternal grandpa (Eustace) and her maternal grandma (Lillia), and doesn't really have an opinion on them, having spent so little time. Both Eustace and Lillia also don't really try to get close to her that much as they can see that Bloom is just awkward about the whole deal and so don't want to push her.

Flora has both her maternal grandparents alive (Rosalía and Maurice(, while her paternal grandma passed away when she was a kid, before Miele was born, leaving her only with her grandpa Hugo. Rosalía is a witch (the Witch of Roses, Flora Source), and she comes from a VERY long line of witches. Alyssa broke the tradition by not pursuing morpher magic at all while Flora became a fairy, but she doesn't resent either for it - even being one of Flora's earliest magic tutors. Maurice is a doctor, and isn't as close with Flora as Rosalía but still loves her. As for Hugo, he's a retired lumberjack and was partially responsible for Flora's interest in physical activity.

STELLA HAS TECHNICALLY 8 GRANDPARENTS BUT I'M JUST GONNA FOCUS ON RADIUS AND LUNA'S PARENTS FOR MY SANITY LMAO. She only ever personally met her paternal grandmother, the former Queen Celeste, Sorceress of Sunny Days. Stella loves her grandma, finding her the funniest person alive, and confirms the Oriol royal family has charisma inserted in the bloodline. She knows only Luna's father, Fabrizio, is alive, but Luna doesn't have the best relationship with him and as such she never saw him.

Musa has never met anyone from her dad's side of the family and has no desire to, meaning she's way closer to her mom's side. She loves her grandma Wei Yang, who used to let her use her painting supplies and always loved whatever she drew, and her grandpa Jun, who was a big sports fan and was 100% behind his granddaughter getting into boxing and is a bit sad she dropped it once she went to Alfea.

If Aisha had a tense relationship with her parents, it was even worse with her grandparents, at least her paternal ones. Niobe's father, Ermias, was nice and doting enough, but she never interacted much with him compared with Teredor's parents, former Emperor Oceanus and former Empress Lulit. They were just as overbearing as Teredor and Niobe were if not more so, and she dreaded their visits almost as much as any of her other forced activites.

As for Tecna, she has all of her grandparents alive and well. Her maternal ones, Amara and William are actually farmers, who proudly boast of making the best cheese in all of Zenith, and Tecna loves them even if she dreads visiting them because she usually ends up helping at the farm and she does not like physical work lmao. Her paternal set are Ulric and Theodore (Anthonius is adopted), who are a retired electrician (Theodore) and a still-active Conjuror (Conjuror of Blizzards, Ice Source). The two men used to babysit Tecna when her parents had to work off-home and helped her with her magic development. Theodore, who Tecna was named after (her real name is Theodora in the AU as a reminder) was also the one that gave her that nickname, seeing her so interested in the machinery around the house.

[alluralater]

I did it!! I fucking did it! I got out of my relationship that wasn’t working! Very mixed emotions just now. Sad because she was my best friend, relieved because the last couple months have been rough, excited for a new chapter of my life, guilty because it hurt her, proud of myself for doing something hard… but it’s gonna be good. it’s gonna be so much better. Time to be gay and slutty (once I get my new apartment set up)

-☀️

oh my gosh! congratulations! it sounds like you're working through a swirl of feelings right now but i imagine there is relief as well. the next chapter of your life will open so many lovely doors for you and the exploration of your truest self. i am so fucking happy for you. this ask is going into the anon hall of fame because i am SO proud of you. you have made the best choice for yourself and for her as well. it's going to take time, but trust that this will be so good for you. you fucking did it!! <3

good luck with the apartment hunting! i cannot wait to hear how it all goes :)