#confirmation bias will make you think that it is real but there are sooo many cases where this doesn't happen!!

[criiitter]

i didn't even know about the ao3 curse until i published my first few chapters of my first ever fanfic and ended up in the hospital a couple days later. my partner drove me home when i got discharged and i mentioned the fanfic in passing and they were like. "oh my god. i can't believe it's real." and i was like what??? what's real?????? and proceeded to learn the horrors. anyway. back to the gay people who live in my phone

[1d1195]

I tend to keep a lot of my "vulnerable" feelings a bit bottled up lol BUT I am working on that lol I of course appreciate you sooo much! Even before I claimed the 💜emoji, I HEAVILY related to your MC's like there were so many similarities in their personality and struggles that for a second got a little TOO REAL lol And to know you put alot of yourself into your stories and characters it felt nice to know that I wasn't alone in feeling like that. Sometimes it feels like something is so wrong with me when it gets tough so knowing that my feelings aren't so strange made/makes me feel alright :) idk if any of that made sense lol

omg don't even get me started when parents trauma dump 😭 idk if i mentioned this before or not but Im first gen Mexican American so literally Mexican parents/elders will literally tell you the most TRAUMATZING stories/experiences then go to say shit like "it's okay, thank god we are better now😁" LIKE HELLO!? WE NEED TO UNPACK THAT?!

I often think if I would be "happier" if I had just chosen a semester school bc I despise this horrid system lol But youre so kind, you have no idea😭

OMG YOU THINK I HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE??? thats crazy bc I feel like mine isn't too crazy or fun lol I have a small core group of friends but the majority of them aren't in school and the friends I do have in college i feel like I rarely seem them due to all of us being so busy lol But ngl i do love going to the free events there like concerts and drag shows WHICH ARE MY FAVE!!! but even then hanging out can sometimes be a little draining for me but once again Im trying to work on that lol.

But bestie you graduated early?! That's really cool! And that is such a big accomplishment! And I can't blame you for wanting your Friends moment like who wouldn't want that?! I wanted a cute little college romance but instead Im over hear falling for my professor lol OH i forgot to mention I have a cute TA in one of my psyc classes so Im saying sorry in advance for how annoying I will be about him 😔

AH you know I love you Sam! You seriously are someone I look forward to chatting with!-💜

I totally get the bottling your feelings up. I think Tulips is most like that. She has some issues (she, being me). I'm glad feeling relatable was a comfort for you. I know it's a comfort for me and I think one of the NICEST things about writing on here is that there are actually many people share the same feelings as me (us). Way more than I thought. It's kind of isolating day-to-day so it's nice to know it doesn't have to be.

HEY RANDOM!!! do you know your Myer's Brigg Personality? I am a HUGE personality test taker. Those buzzfeed ones that were like "What toaster are you?" literally obsessed. or the soldier, poet, king test? Any of them! I love them. It might be a little confirmation bias-y in my own personality but I don't care; I love them. HAHAHAHHAHA I did one for a job years ago I would have to dig it out to remember what the actual test was but i think it was like your big 5 qualities in the work place. Anyway, it made me think of more ways we could be similar (I'm an INFJ - (T) but if I use my teacher persona I can be convinced to be an ENFJ --but I'm a major introvert at heart obvi)

My mom and I are very similar. My bf has some pretty convincing theories about how my mom used to be like my sister and then turned into me when she had kids because she had to be responsible. So her trauma dumping often includes a lot of regrets and worries. You've mentioned your Mexican-American heritage before and I've seen a lot in the media (I know it's not exactly the same and probs also childish of me to rely on Disney for media but Encanto and Coco I feel like were semi-good examples--please don't think the worst of me if you disagree) Encanto especially--Grandma has some things to talk through. That's a lot to unload on you (or anyone!). Again, nice to know it's relatable even if it's sad sometimes. At least I'm not alone! 💕

UGH I can't wait to write TA Harry 😍 You could NEVER be annoying. I want the play-by-play PLEASE it will be the best inspo and I need to live vicariously!!! I've never been to a drag show but definitely on the list of things I'd like to attend! I fall into the latter part of your sentence there. I refrain from doing a lot of things because I'm already so busy on a regular day I don't want to do anything that will require energy when I don't need to use it HAHAHAHA

You're so sweet, thank you. At the time graduating early felt like a really big deal. Now I feel like it doesn't mean much. I guess it saved me some money right? There isn't much I won't do for a coupon 😂

Love you! Hope your week is being good to you!

xoxo

[hobidreams]

Heyyy, sooo when I heard that BTS didn't win, I was so sad ; especially because we know the Grammys are using them for the money and to have people watch their show. Anyway, as I'm not American and I didn't really know how the Grammys worked, I searched on the Internet and I was kinda scared to find things that would confirm the accusations of racism/xenophobia about BTS losing the award. However, I feel like, from what I read, it doesn't seem like it ?? Like I can't tell for sure right but I wanted to know what u think about it cuz here's what I found (sorry if you already knew how it works) : there's the Recording Academy's voting members : songwriters, producers ect, who are in charge of voting for 2 things. First, the artists who get nominated and then the ones who win. Sooo my conclusion is that, they wouldn't have voted for them in the first place to get them nominated if it was really xenophobic, right ?

It kinda ease my mind to think that it's very much possible that it's just a matter of "Who they thought deserved it the most".

Just wanted to share this, sorry to bother and I wish u all the best with your writing ! ❤

Lots of love ❤

hi babe. i can tell youre coming from a good place. i don’t wanna burst your bubble & i’m usually all for looking on the bright side of things but in this case... im sorry but there definitely IS a selection bias.

the way i see it is that nominations are really just that. they’re not awards. if you ask me, the Recording Academy had a tremendous amount of pressure on them to do something for BTS. they’ve seen the power that BTS holds for getting viewers. they wanted to use that for their advantage. this is proven by the way they put BTS last because they KNEW their viewership would drop the second the boys finished performing. just look at how the viewercount of the youtube pre-show stream went from 1 mil -> 500k, literally HALVED, after the Pop Duo/Group award was announced. the Grammys have been losing viewership year after year, so they needed BTS’ starpower. yes the voting committee might be made of many people, but that doesnt mean a group of people cant be biased as they vote (see any political election ever). honestly the grammys are less actual awards & more like a huge marketing ploy lol. by nominating them, they had another excuse to put the boys in more marketing material. what im saying is they most definitely would have nominated BTS without ever having the intention of giving them the grammy. these two things are not correlated.

also, the thing is, you need to keep in mind that racist and xenophobic actions have been going on LONG before BTS were ever on the scene. i’ve seen too many people focus on BTS’ loss to the point that they seem to not even recognize that this is nothing new. even if the boys DID win, the grammys would STILL be xenophobic & racist. black artists in particular have been snubbed time and time again by the Grammys. what other reason could there be for not nominating The Weeknd for ANYTHING this year even though his song has been such a favorite on the charts all year? in 2019, after winning his grammy, Tyler the Creator spoke out about how they keep forcing black artists into the rap/urban categories even when they are clearly making pop. he explains it well here. it's like a consolation prize while they save the big awards for the white people. if you're not from America or another largely-white country, then you might not know that this is a typical attitude towards POC: uplift or hire or nominate one person to say "hey we're diverse!" while not actually making any real efforts to be inclusive.

also do notice that most of the POC artists that won awards did so on the non-televised portion of the night, and they were forced to endure the absolute garbage that was Bill Burr, butchering their names & joking about it. so im sorry. i cant agree with you even though i wish these award shows were so much better than they are too 😔 (thanks for the love & for asking my thoughts on the matter! 💗)

[nadziejastar]

How would you respond to KH fans who claim that Isa was never a good guy to begin with, because he called Lea a ‘loser, lame, laughable’.

Oh my God. That opinion annoys me sooo much. If you judge Isa on his own, him teasing Lea was hardly a sign of him being evil. That’s just ridiculous. Terra teased Aqua, and it didn't make him evil. To me, it seemed like he had a crush on her. There was nothing in canon to suggest Isa was malicious. Ven was jealous of the way Lea and Isa interacted. The music was innocent and happy. Lea smiled when Isa teased him. They all laughed. It was healthy and normal friendly banter.

IMO, people who claim otherwise are not looking at the story very closely, or they’re too biased to see the story objectively. I talked with several people online who thought that Isa was never good and I also know someone in real life who said the same thing. One online person was a hardcore Akuroku shipper. She messaged me to say that Akuroku would always be more popular than Akusai. And she said that Isa always had a bad personality, it just got exaggerated when he became a Nobody. Roxas was the most important person to Axel. Eh. Make of that what you will.

Another online girl was not a shipper, but she was a HUGE sea-salt trio fan. She's exactly the type of fan that Roxas and Xion were brought back for in KH3. She wanted her favorite trio reunited and couldn’t have cared less about Lea’s friendship with Isa. And, IMO, she's exactly the type of fan who completely misunderstood the story of 358/2 Days. She thought the sea-salt trio was the perfect friend group.

She had a very simplistic and black-and-white view of the story. There was no deeper meaning to Days than Roxas and Xion becoming Axel’s "best friends" and living happily ever after. That was it. The point of Days in her mind was that Saix = evil, Roxas and Xion = good. Axel kicked Saix to the curb and became “good” because of his two precious cinnamon rolls. His past wasn't really all that important. Just Roxas and Xion. That was how a lot of KH fans saw the story, apparently. 

Well, this girl hated Saix. She was disgusted that he was there in the epilogue with his abuse victims and didn't know why he was even redeemed at all. She thought that Axel and Saix’s friendship in Days was just put in to create drama and was otherwise totally pointless. She thought Axel didn't even care about Isa and was only trying to find Roxas in KH3D. She said she had no idea why Lea was even friends with Isa in BBS since he was such a little brat. She was very clearly biased in favor of RAX and tried to delegitimize any feelings Axel ever had for Saix.

She also took everything Axel said in Days at total face value. He didn’t worry much and wasn’t very complicated. On Day 193, Axel cheerfully called Roxas and Xion his best friends, so that meant they were. On Day 75, Axel said he didn’t know what having a best friend was like. And to her, that obviously meant that Lea literally never had a best friend before. To her, Axel was a very simple character. What you see is what you get. She saw him the way Roxas did. I’m sorry. That is just...not the way Nomura intended Axel to be perceived. Roxas did not even come close to understanding Axel. I really hate the general fandom’s view of Axel in Days. 

The real life person was just a casual fan. He wasn’t being disingenuous due to bias. He just didn’t look at the story very deeply and let his impression of Saix (who is supposed to be unlikable) influence his view of Isa. We all got to meet Saix first and he is indeed an asshole. Unlike with Terra and Xemnas, we aren't shown in great detail how Isa was possessed and Norted. Terra got a whole game to SHOW what happened to him and how he was a kindhearted person who was just manipulated. Xemnas is not Terra, he was Xehanort who was influenced by Terra’s memories. I'm sure Isa was supposed to get that same treatment too, but it never happened.

So in canon, there’s no clear dichotomy with Isa’s original self and his Norted self. It’s still heavily implied that Isa was totally different from Saix. But it's very subtle. So, of course many people didn't pick up on it. I think this was intentional. In Days, we weren't supposed to know how close Axel and Saix were as humans. We only know Saix from KH2, then in Days he's really horrible and we're supposed to not like him. Even in BBS I think they had him act like that on purpose. We see Isa and he has a bit of sarcasm, so it's simply confirmation bias at that point. See, he was just as evil as a human! It was meant to be misleading.

The reason for this was because Isa’s real personality was supposed to be a plot twist! And Nomura loves plot twists. We were supposed to be surprised to see what he was really like, which was really sweet. And then, we were supposed to view the story in an entirely different way afterwards. Like when Xemnas called Aqua’s armor “friend”. That was in KH2FM. We didn’t know about Terra yet. We were given a misleading view of Xemnas. Nomura also wanted to subvert our initial expectations of Saix. That's why his Mystery Gear was a cute selfless rabbit. I think the whole thing was an awesome idea for a plot twist.

But in canon, there was no plot twist. There was no time to give Lea and Isa a real backstory to change our perception. So, they just went with most casual fans’ superficial lazy understanding of Saix and called it a day. I guess because KH3 was so concerned with fan service and pandering, they didn’t wanna make the casual fans rethink their interpretation on anything. That includes RAX, too. KH3 was afraid of disappointing certain segments of fans who had very fixed ideas of the story and the trios. 

[falsehumanhood]

No one really talks about how when you're questioning or trans and can't come out that you're kind of stuck having to adhere to certain gender roles with little room to explore and keep up the facade you were so used to portraying all your life because you're afraid of public ridicule or don't want to arouse suspicion that'll get you disapproving looks or abused by your family.

It affects literally all of your interpersonal relationships to daily interactions and it's so, so uncomfortable being perceived as someone you're not. You have to worry about everyone you ever meet because you never know if you'll if they'll accept you or how they might treat you differently.

When people are romantically interested it's just a headache because most of the time it's not you, it's the gender you're forced to present as and you feel like crap because it's almost like leading them on but you know if you try to say "I'm not a guy/girl" they would just look at you crazy.

And experiencing all this is extremely isolating so, maybe you're a trans person that wants romantic attention because you always feel undesirable as any gender since you don't quite fit the molds of the binary but it gives you dysphoria or you feel like you have to oblige other people because no one would ever like you as a different gender.

It's a double whammy if you're trans AND lgb+ because, despite the irony, transphobic lgb+ people exist so that's a lot to sift through alone.

Technically, it's you and maybe you can make it work, maybe you're just comfortable enough being this gender after all, maybe you just haven't tried hard enough as a boy/girl and you get so many conflicting thoughts and can't separate your own wants from what other people expect and it's not a good feeling™ at all.

And there's the gross, insidiousness ingrained in our society that teaches children, especially young girls that in anything they do, they have to remain romantically viable to cis men who can have a creepy entitlement like "if you change genders, you can't be my girlfriend and you're sooo pretty :(" like it's a choice we can be persuaded out of which is just shitty and cis women, often parents who support it.

Boys can't do anything remotely feminine without being psychoanalyzed by assholes who think wearing pink and showing an emotion makes you gay with crossdressing and transphobia played for jokes everywhere, it's hell for a young trans woman. It gets internalized and leads to our depression and anxiety.

If you're genderfluid or nonbinary you don't want to tell people your pronouns and gender change depending on the day or you want to be addressed by they/them and presentation ≠ gender because people think. that's. weird!! They probably won't understand and you don't want them to lose interest in you.

It's exhausting debating your identity or getting into gender theory 101 to break down these concepts to unknowledgeable people that it's difficult even just making friends because it's a core part of you that you have to remain quiet about and can't be open with in most cases which, is detrimental to one's mental health and you feel like a bother bringing it up.

I work as a cashier and I have a very soft and sweet sounding voice, a round face, etc and I don't know exactly how or when would be a good time to transition away from that because it would be messy and awkward and take money (for clothes and resources i.e binder) and a lot of explanation that I don't even know where to begin but, it keeps me safe.

That's the real phase. Being trans isn't the phase. And like, sometimes? I still feel attached to that and my deadname because it's been who I am for so long that it is just more complicated than waking up like, boom "I'm trans, now!" Which is what a lot of cis people don't get.

But everyone around you takes it as proof you're not really trans because "oh, look! They went on a date." Or "see? they're way too girly/manly. They like being a girl/boy." Not acknowledging the fact that if you actually showed any signs of being trans, you would probably get sent to therapy, berated, assaulted or disowned.

Even if you do transition in the ways you can, changing your hair, wardrobe and working on your voice, etc there's still people who'll invalidate you because you haven't had surgery or gotten hormones, refusing to acknowledge the medical aspect of trans identities being real regardless that chalk it up to chemicals in the water, bye-ow-luh-gee or "Millennial" nonsense.

Like... self exploration is not linear from point A and suddenly you're at point B with perfect clarity. There's trail and error and it doesn't make anyone fake!! We've always been what we are, we just have trouble putting labels to it so, they might change around sometimes. It shouldn't be a big deal to get hung up about.

I don't exist to confirm anyone's bias!! I just am. Let me be. It should be okay to not be certain or know from the start and not label it. It should be okay to be whatever I want if it makes me happy. It's not even really anyone's business but mine.