#conan has just been lucky this whole time

[asteralley]

m26 you can't just include a scene where shinichi promises to ran that he'll come in-person if the situation is dire enough and then show conan holding the spare aptx antidote. and then NOT HAVE SHINICHI APPEAR IN THE MOVIE...........

[emwritesstuff]

DYNAMO | Steve Rogers x Reader | part 1.

HYDRA has made their share of human experiments. You're just one of them. One of the least successful ones. One of the least functional ones. At least your life in the facility gave you a few things: unwavering resilience, cool(ish) superpowers and a great sense of humor. Steve Rogers would strongly disagree with that last one. A single chance encounter with him reluctantly brings you into the Avengers Compound, and you're determined to make his life as miserable as you can. Feeling's mutual.

AO3 | Masterlist | Playlist (coming soon!)

notes: starting off a steve x reader/oc that I had lying around for a long time to cleanse our palates. (warnings: mentions of human experimentation, violence, cursing, stressed!steve rogers) (2.5K words)

1: THE CATALYST

In The Adventure of the Dying Detective, sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote: “I wonder how a battery feels when it pours electricity into a non-conductor.”

Well here’s how she feels, Doyle: exhausted – drained, if we’re getting scientific – and with a massive migraine. Sometimes nosebleeds, too. That’s how you feel whenever you use your abilities. It’s never a good time, and lately it’s been getting worse.

That’s why you’re back in this godforsaken place. Not exactly back. You’ve never been here; this specific facility was basically only an archive of sorts, and when you were still HYDRA you were confined to labs and larger, safer bases.

This place is really under everyone’s nose. It sits under a parking building in Detroit, right at the corner of a busy avenue. It’s a smart choice of location, because amidst the bustle of people coming and going for their cars, nobody looked at you twice as you went in, dropped into a maintenance hatch and ambled around until you found the heavy vaulted door you were looking for.

You’re positive there’s some information about you and the experiment you were a part – the shining star, truly – of, in here. When HYDRA fell and all of its secrets were leaked to the internet, you weren’t very worried about backing up your own records. You just wanted to live.

When you’ve spent most of your life being trained and turned into a human weapon, only ever seeing the real-world during the few missions you’ve gone on, places like McDonald’s and department stores become a whole new world of wonders once you get to experience them.

But now you needed them. Soon after the fall, however, most of the data was erased by hackers that were still affiliated with the organization. Lucky you.

However, every good terrorist knows to keep physical copies for safekeeping. And if the manila files stamped with your name were anywhere, they had to be here. Or in at least 3 other places just like this one, but you had already checked the first couple of them, and the other was blown to shit by Tony Stark and his little avenging friends.

They were really very good at that – blowing things up and causing havoc everywhere they went. Aliens, HYDRA, murderous crazed robots – whatever the enemy might be, something was sure to be exploding. And in the end, they’re still revered as heroes. Must be fun.

Anyway. Back to the files.

There’s immensurable amount of them, and they were meticulously organized, thank god, but you still decide you’d go through each one just in case.

You’re not in Assets. Also not in Agents. Or Work in progress.

Either way, it has to be here somewhere. Just maybe misplaced. Or concealed.

This place is basically your last hope, before you’re obligated to hunt down the hackers you know of and squeeze the information out of them instead. One of them has to have kept a copy somewhere, but these people were hard to find, and you are starting to feel like you’re running out of time.

The migraines and nosebleeds are getting more frequent, lasting longer, and hurting more. Not to mention the amount of times you lost control and fried every electronic on the vicinity. You could walk into a hospital, but that would probably mean getting dragged to the Raft as soon as the American government took notice of your existence.

And you seriously doubt any regular doctor would know how to deal with… whatever is going on with you.

You don’t miss your former life at all – but at least the scientists and doctors in HYDRA kept you somewhat stable. You survived this far, so someone is to blame.

It must be the adrenaline, but right now you feel great. No spots, no headache. Bouncing on your heels, bobbing your head to the music on your earbuds, while you rummage through an ocean of paper. The archive has been long abandoned, a thick layer of dust covering every surface you hadn’t touched. It’s dead quiet, too, and you start thinking you might spend the night.

It’s been a while since you’ve rested your head in a quiet place, where you didn’t have to look over your shoulder every two minutes. Yeah, that’d be fucking nice.

You’ve been on the run for god knows how long. In fact, you do know – it’s been a little over a couple of years since the public downfall of HYDRA, and everyone you used to know was either arrested, dead, or had gone underground like the rats they were.

You like to distance yourself from your former peers, mostly because if you knew they were all a bunch of Nazis – or if anyone had told you they were actually the bad guys – you probably would have found a way out sooner. Imagine your surprise, finally being free to live in the real world and finding out that everything you’ve been taught was fabricated. Still, authorities weren’t about to make that distinction so, like a HYDRA rat, you also went off the grid.

It’s safe to say you don’t really trust people these days.

You hate it, having to live in hiding. You’re not really very good at it, to be honest. It’s hard being coy, and you wear your heart on your sleeve; your face betrays you when your lack of skill for lying doesn’t. Half-truths and misdirection are the only things keeping your anonymity intact lately, and it works as long as you lower social interaction down to almost zero.

Having to decide whoever looks like they would ask the least amount of questions is exhausting. So is dodging those questions. Dodging bullets is easier. You’d backflip your way out of a full cartridge before facing a 10-minute conversation with someone.

You huff in frustration. The dust that now swirls in the air makes your eyes dry and your nose itch, you’ve already been through what’s probably a good fifty files and still, you found nothing. Not even a mention to your name or your identification number.

You scratch their faint marks on your forearm absentmindedly.

It should be here.

You’re starting to get a little offended, even.

“Can’t find what you’re looking for?”

A male voice coming from the door gets you to stand in alarm. Its owner is tall and wears a navy tactical suit, and you can make out his striking blue eyes even in the dim light of the room. He’s carrying a shield, painted in red, white and blue.

You stare at Captain America, and he stares back. He’s blocking the door you entered from. From your earlier survey you know there’s a possible exit to your left, but you doubt you can get there before that oversized dinner plate of his slices you in half.

“Who are you?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Cap.”

He scowls at you and you give him a smile, a crooked thing that makes you look a little crazy. “Are you HYDRA? Nat— Yes. We got company.”

So, he came with a team. Cute. Just like the comics.

“Used to be, technically. I’m done with that life.”

He cocks his head. His gaze pierces through you like laser sight.

Now there’s someone you don’t want to be trapped in a conversation with.

“So why are you here?”

You sigh. Too many questions, not enough fucking off to wherever sunny green fields he lives with his superhero friends in.

“I must’ve left my library card in here somewhere. You’d think no one would care that much about Tolstoy, but they do.” 

“Do you really think this is the time for jokes, agent?”

You watch him as he tightens his hand around his shield, and moves his feet towards you a few inches. “Ah ah – I wouldn’t do that.”

He takes another step, and you narrow your eyes.

“I don’t feel like fighting today, so. Don’t.”

“Aren’t you done with the life? You shouldn’t be considering me your enemy.”

“Do you rehearse those lines or what?”

Cap clenches his jaw. It brings you a strange kind of satisfaction to annoy him. A small victory, knowing you can get to him like that.

Yet you still feel like you’re a gazelle being hounded by a lion.

There’s still a considerable distance between you, but you know he’s strong and fast, stronger and faster than you, especially when you haven’t trained properly in so long.

And Captain America hates HYDRA. He wouldn’t hesitate in kicking your ass.

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight. Come with me, and share your intel.” He puts his shield down, and you furrow your eyebrows.

He’s wrong. It always ends in a fight. That’s just how the world works.

“You might even get a lighter sentence.”

Of course. That’s what this was about: you giving them everything you know and then getting locked up. As a treat.

“I’ll pass. I do value my freedom, I’m sure you’ll understand. Considering.”

Gesturing vaguely to his outfit, you dip down to continue rummaging through the next box of files, even finding one with the 2006-7 New Year’s Eve Party planning, but nothing about your program. Priorities.

“I can’t let you walk out of this. I’m sure you’ll understand, considering.”

You snicker.

So much for having a good day with no headache.

On the wall to your left there’s an outlet. You put your hand over it, and the electric current floats towards your palm as if it was liquid. The lights start to flicker.

“What—” You hear Captain America stammer, and you chuckle. So blissfully ignorant.

He has no idea of the freak of nature you are. Well, not really of nature. You’re more of a synthetic made kind of freak.

More energy flows into you, and the room goes dark. You rise to your feet and watch electricity crackle around your fingers, illuminating your face with a blue glow. You don’t see the Captain anymore, but you do see the glint of the shield as it’s being lifted up.

You’re sure he sees you, but he’s probably too stunned trying to process what you just did.

“Apologies in advance.”

When you extend your arms in front of you, palms aiming to the spot where you think he might be, you can’t see much.

After power flashes out of you, everything is clearer. The bolts light up the space between you and him, much narrower than you calculated, and you have to adjust your position so you can hit him.

He gurgles and shakes like a fish out of water once it reaches him, blinding blue and white encasing his body like a cocoon. He drops to the ground.

It feels like hot water in your veins until it’s burning.

It hurts, it hurts like a bitch, and as Captain America is convulsing on the floor your groans turn to wails. You haven’t done this in a while, and you forgot how much pain there is when the fuel starts running out.

You stop after a few seconds, dropping your hands at your sides, and stumble into a metal shelf when your balance falters. You could never stand using your powers for very long. But this time you don’t have to. Cap is immobile on the floor, only his eyelids twitching. Maybe you went a little hard on him.

You’d feel more sorry if he didn’t want to arrest you.

At least he’s alive. That’s something.

You taste something ferulic and wet when you lick your lips. Nosebleed.

One. Two. Three.

Your heat starts throbbing, and suddenly even the dim light is too much on your eyes.

There’s the migraine.

You were almost returning to your search when you hear the faint voices coming from his intercom. Cap? Rogers, over. Steve, you there? Over.

Rogers groans, starting to stir up. You had to get out of there, and fast, before the rest of his friends came to the rescue.

Fuck it, you could always come back another time. Or even go after those hackers already, because you doubted this place would be up for much longer, now that the Avengers knew of its existence.

You wipe your nose on the sleeve of your hoodie, grab your backpack and slip through the left exit, leaving America there to deal with his own future headache.

It took a while for Steve Rogers to recover his senses. He gained control of his eyes first, finding himself staring at a humidity stained ceiling. His extremities were tingling, and his insides felt like soup.

The burning sensation on the surface of his skin subsides after a while. His heart is racing, and he can’t really remember the last time that happened. Or why. Right now, it’s because he just got attacked by a human defibrillator.

Steve? What’s going on, Cap? Over.

He needs a minute to realize the voices are in his earpiece, and not hallucinations in his head.

I’m starting to worry, Rogers. Over.

He groans, rolling over. “M’ here. Over.”

Steve hoists himself up, thinking the girl must’ve fried his pain receptors, because his toenails hurt. And his earlobes, and his right leg. He shakes his head as if his ears have water in them.

She’s gone. For a second, he even doubts she was there at all, but there are footprints on the dusty floor, leading all the way to a door on his right.

Who—?

“Damn, you look rough.”

“What the hell happened?”

Natasha Romanoff and Bucky Barnes show up through the same hallway he had come from earlier.

“I—I got electrocuted, I think.”

“You think?!”

Steve picks up the shield, panting.

“There was a— girl. She’s some kind of enhanced. Can’t have gone far. I’ll explain later.”

His body regains its normal functions as he’s trudging through empty corridors, Bucky and Nat at his heels. He still feels a little frazzled, but it could be worse, and he’s thankful it was him and his serum-improved body at the receiving end of the lightning.

It could be so much worse.

As it turns out, the girl is nowhere to be found, not a trace to be followed even after the trio splits up to cover more ground. Bucky insists Steve needs to be checked at the med bay ASAP. Natasha assures him that they’ll clear out the facility afterwards, even if she’s convinced none of the paper files have anything of relevance anymore.

The girl seemed to be looking for something in there, though, and Steve remembers reading frustration and dread on her wide, doe-like eyes.

She didn’t even look like someone who could be an agent, though due to the too-large hoodie she wore there wasn’t much to analyze anyway. That gets him intrigued.

Steve has a hard time letting go of things. Especially open-ended things. He spent nearly two weeks obsessing over the ending of Blade Runner, because he needed a goddamned definitive answer.

He needs to know, like he needed to know if Deckard was human or replicant.

He’ll find her.

You can’t shake the feeling that you’ll be seeing him and his team again. Maybe they’ll hunt you down, since there was a big demand for ex-HYDRA people they could fill jailcells with.

Whisking away along a maze of corridors and endless doors, you manage to find a second vaulted door. You leave the whole facility undetected, hopping out a window and disappearing in a back alley.

Maybe you are a rat.

[autumn-foxfire]

Magic Kaito 1412 episode 4!

Time for Hakuba's introduction. Hakuba is such a pedantic man XD He's so goddamn extra with listing the miliseconds.

Sorry Hakuba, Shinichi's catchphrase is much more iconic :p

Kaito is also very arrogant XD It's wonder he hasn't been caught from how often he gloats to himself about how amazing he is.

Aoko, why are you blushing while you think about Hakuba?

And Kaito is showing us how uninterested he is in detectives. Oh how that tone changes~

Once again we're seeing how incompatible as a couple the main one is with Kaito only doing what Aoko asks because he benefits from it instead of, you know, just treating her to a nice date. And then he has to whine about it the whole time.

IT IS REALLY FUNNY THAT KAITO CAN'T SKATE THOUGH.

Hakuba looks nothing like his father so I assume he takes after his mother.

Kaito... did you have to use a spanner to knock the guy out?! And he's called non-violent XD

I like these episodes because it shows how inexperienced Kaito used to be during his heists and how luck was used to help him escape in the early days more. The KID we see in Detective Conan already has so much experience under his belt but I have to wonder how it would have been if he had encountered Shinichi during his early days.

There are actually plenty of reasons why Kaito doesn't deserve Aoko.

Aoko, just invite your friend Keiko instead. The fact that Kaito insults your family so brazenly is gross of him and I genuinely don't get why you can like him when he does? If my boyfriend insulted my parents who are decent people, I'd tell him to fuck off and dump him.

The fact that Kaito doesn't even seem to be wanting to stop the date due to his own interest in Aoko but rather the blow to his pride is also pretty... bad. Gosho, where did you learn to write romance? You need to get a refund.

Kaito really is lucky to have survived his early heists XD

Aoko, why didn't you take Keiko? Gosho you do know the females can go to concerts and the like with their friends right?!

[amazingphilza]

maniac :: cc!tommy x reader

angst (?) , platonic (?) , gender neutral ! ib: conan gray’s maniac

this is satire & note that i write the reader to be a few months younger than tommy (besides that, i think it is fully inclusive !)

synopsis : you put all your hard work towards a useless crush. with no expectation for reciprocated feelings in the first place, it still all ends in a bittersweet slap to reality.

you grew up with minecraft and it was an understatement to say it was part of your childhood

even years later, you still maintained interested in the game

it wasn’t just a simple video game, the community inspired you to do many things

you aspired to be like the creators you watched at a young age like sky, dantdm, cupquake, stampy, and many more

making people happy and entertained was a dream

and when minecraft slowly began trending again in 2019, you started making your own content whenever you felt like it out of fun

you never got much views but it was an enjoyable experience nonetheless

but it wasn’t until the first minecraft monday you decided to push a bit more with your hobbies and worked hard to make it somewhere

however balancing your passions with school wasn’t the easiest

given, you were still only around 15 and your content wasn’t even that good

with not much of a goal or plan with your youtube channel, you fell out of interest eventually

you loved minecraft but you always a rocky relationship with it; getting back into it for a few months then pretending it never really existed for another few

besides the occasional videos you watched in your pass time, you didn’t stay that updated

then lockdown happened

it changed everything and even got you regressing back to old interests

soon enough you were back to minecraft

there was so much to catch up on

hermitcraft season 7 just started, there was minecraft championships, and smp earth and smp live, and so much more to look forward to watching

you were a bit late on both of the smps but your interest peaked specially towards smp earth and it didn’t stop you from watching the past videos

you first gravitated towards a certain youtuber’s videos first since you remember stumbling onto his videos before from your recommended page; wilbur soot

besides recognizing him from his you laugh you lose series and making parody-type of songs, you didn’t know much

however with a few clicks, you had binge watched his smp earth series effortlessly

you found yourself falling down the endless hole, finding more creators to watch through wilbur

one in particular caught your eye in an interesting way

tommyinnit

my god, how can someone be so annoying and pushy in these videos? like shut up already

and to find out he was barely months older than you frustrated you

you just wanted to be better in some way

if someone like him could be popular, why can’t you? yelling at others and causing problems didn’t seem that hard

and so you went back to working hard on your previously failed youtube channel but this time with a goal; be better than tommyinnit

it was a weird aspiration in your head but it worked

he was your age and successful, why need a better motivator?

tommy wasn’t the sole reason why you strive to make content since you truly did want to create videos to entertain people like the youtubers you originally grew up watching

and with the amount of free time you had, you thoroughly analyzed his content; what was the most popular, how he streamed, edited his videos, everything

you just completely studied the algorithm in general

along the way, tommy’s personality grew on you

tommy was undoubtedly a very loud and energetic person but you became fond of his ambitions

you understood why he was popular at such a young age; he was a natural entertainer

your spite towards the boy turned into a hope

a hope to be at par with him someday and even be mutuals

and it was like your dreams were suddenly manifested into existence

you gained a large following in the early months of lockdown and even was recognized to be apart of minecraft championships

it felt like yesterday that you were just watching your favorite youtubers livestream the same competition

and now you were situation in a team to play yourself for the first time instead of being a viewer for once

not to mention, with tommyinnit as a teammate

how did you manage to get so lucky?

under the excitement, you felt beyond never nervous waiting in the empty discord call for your team to join you to practice the mini-games

in the middle of gathering your thoughts together, you heard a sound from discord signaling someone joined the call

“uh, hello?”

you heard the familiar british accent you spent hours listening to from countless streams and videos

“h-hi! i’m y/n, how are you?”

you hoped tommy couldn’t hear the strain in your voice due to fighting your nerves, but you quietly celebrated that you didn’t freeze up altogether

“oh i’m good, thank you. and i’m tommy by the way, this is the first time we’re speaking, yeah?”

“yep! it’s nice to meet you”

“yeah, i’ve seen your name around the timeline a few times, you seem cool”

oh my god what?

“thanks! um i actually really enjoy your content not gonna lie”

“oh wow, good shit!”

and the conversation smoothly went on, bouncing back and forth between you two before your other two teammates joined the call

once everyone was situated, you decided to start streaming since it was your first mcc and you wanted a vod of you practicing to look at later on as a memory

your chat immediately noticed how much you were enjoying yourself, especially after all the short stories of talking about who inspired you in the past

the smile plastered on your face never left

after stream and your other teammates went offline, it was you and tommy left in the call once together again

“it was nice talking to you tommy! and the practice was really fun, i cant wait for the actual competition!”

“yeah definitely, we’ll for sure place high”

“hopefully. it’s my first time and i hope i don’t cost us the dub”

“nah, you think so? i mean rt and plumbella are also our team mates so you know, it’s all for fun in the end”

you knew tommy was implying the teamwork wasn’t going to be the best compared to the other teams but at least in the end you’ve both made a new friend

“yeah you’re right!”

“anyway it’s getting late imma hop off”

“okay tommy, talk to you soon?”

“yep!”

“alright byee”

“bye!”

the moment he left the call, you felt a sense of relief before a small wave of sadness took over

you wanted to continue talking to tommy but you knew you had other responsibilities to tend to

for the rest of the day, you couldn’t stop thinking of the call and mcc practice

the funny jokes, singing random songs, screaming for no reason, everything

it even kept you awake until the early morning

you buried your head in a pillow and screamed into it after realization hit

y/n no

no no no no no no no

you tried to recall anything that remotely related your other teammates which you remembered that didn’t include tommy

even if it was a few hours ago, you couldn’t pin point something specific

no

i must just be forgetful, right?

what the hell did rt and plumbella even say that whole call?

you vividly remembered everything with tommy and it was clear to you why

surely not

with putting a hand on your chest above your heart, you confirmed that you couldn’t lie to yourself based on the rapid speed

you liked tommy for a good while but it hadn’t clicked to you until now

eventually you fell asleep due to exhaustion but that’s to say you didn’t do so without imagining spending more time with tommy

ever since that day, time went by in a flash

your team didn’t do the best in mcc but it had been a while since then to have that as a concern

sadly you and tommy didn’t talk as often as you hoped but that didn’t make you have less feelings for him

on some days you felt bad since you thought you didn’t know enough about him to even be allowed to crush on him

it was a bit unprofessional but you were nearly 16, it’s normal to have these little crushes right?

eventually time came to rescue when tommy asked you if you wanted to accompany him in the dream smp

undoubtedly, you said yes

and for the few months during summer, it was where you two became even closer than before

however, once both of you two had to go back and attend school, it was harder to catch up with each other

even on calls together off stream, the occasional snapchat notification going off irked you in a way you couldn’t explain

only winter break was the small pause on your disappointment

but even then, it was a slow but steady hill of repressed sadness and frustration until early spring of the following year

you had hoped 2021 would be better than last year but after scrolling through twitter one day and seeing stans making rumors about how tommy had a crush on one of his classmates gave you the same pain you felt when school started last fall

you dreaded to look over at tommy’s most recent story time stream vod where all the gossip arose from; it was him stumbling over his words with the mention of a girl during a certain part

jealousy wasn’t the right word to describe the way you felt

you would never go out of your way to make tommy reciprocate the feelings you had for him

and if he liked someone else the way you saw him, you wouldn’t mind

having a crush is ecstatic, and if he has someone like that too, you should be happy

right?

you tried

what finally broke you was seeing a tiktok a few weeks later of tommy in college with eryn and another girl talking

you didn’t know how she looked like or anything but you wanted to sob

good for him

she didn’t even say much in the video and you dont know enough about tommy’s personal life to jump to conclusions like this

you knew you were acting irrational and you couldn’t be upset at tommy for something he couldn’t control

if anything, you never directly showed interest in him

you didn’t want to in the first place

it was a bad idea from the start

you looked back at the past year and all your intentions

what kind of sick fanfiction did you think you were living?

becoming a content creator, hoping to blow up, just to talk to a big youtuber you had a crush on?

oh my god

y/n what is wrong with you?

listen to yourself, y/n

you need to get some help

whether tommy was dating or even just had interest someone was none of your business

you had to move on no matter what it was and be good and supportive friend

it was dreadful to get over a stupid crush like this but after so much work you put in, you gave some sympathy for yourself

in a friend perspective, you were happy with whatever tommy did and was satisfied your friendship together, but you hadn’t realized how much you gambled from the beginning

and just for a crush?

you couldn’t comprehend how far you gone because you fancied someone

it wasn’t like anyone could get famous and become a popular content creator either

and now with you being on the dream smp along with a successful youtube channel at 16? you were grateful something pushed you enough to work this hard

but you’d never forget the fact everything that lead up to this point was a crush on no other than tommyinnit which first spurred from complete spite

“who’s the one better off now?” your thoughts mocked you from the complete irony

sigh

y/n, you maniac

[seraphemin]

wish I were (pt4)

  harry calls reader drunk to pick him up, later on finding him sat at her piano and playing a little song

masterlist

‘heather’ by conan gray WARNINGS - ANGST, swearing, fluff WORD COUNT - 4,418

_________________________________________________________

   Just fine is how I was feeling. I was lucky enough to be able to get started straight away with a new song to work on from a different artist. Practicing new instruments and talking to new clients have been what I've thrown myself into for the past 3 weeks.

Though drowning myself into work has kept me busy and given me excuses to ignore the hundreds of calls and texts from Harry, it felt like months had pass instead of only one. I seem to forget more about them and only remember the look on his face when I turn my back on him and left. Instead of memorizing chords and words, my brain can only comprehend the words we said and the last time I felt his touch or embrace. When I want to remind myself of what he did, the moment on the balcony is the first thing that comes to my mind and I curse myself for it.

I missed him, of course I did. As I sit in front of my laptop with an opened tab on a recording program, I am instead met with another creator's block and thinking about Harry again. Two points of thought that I hate being stuck in at the moment. The empty bags and containers of snacks and my dinner surround me and I'm wrapped in a blanket while a sad playlist is playing on spotify. It was a depressing sight.

But I can only image the state that Harry's in. After everything, I still miss and care about him, wondering if he's excited about the album release tomorrow or if he's hydrated and taking the fact that I've chose to walk out of his life better than I am. It's pathetic really, but it's part of it and I can only hope to learn to live without him through time. If that is something I can even think of doing in the first place.

He hasn't called or text throughout the whole day though. I didn't want it to bother me but it did, even if it was time away that I'm asking for. I glanced at the black screen of my phone, pressing the button to turn it on. 12:23 AM and no notifications.

'i do love you, i'm sorry' one day ago. This is a good sign. This should be a good sign.

I sighed, forcing myself to turn away from my phone and focus on finishing this piece. The instrumentals are there and the rhythm is set, but coming up with lyrics prove to be difficult when I feel physically and emotionally drained.

It was late anyways. I would of been asleep by now to get ready for tomorrow, but it was most likely made clear I wouldn't be celebrating with the gang. I told Jeff the excuse that I had a meeting up north for the valid reason, even though everyone already knows what happened between the two best friends. A lunch with Sara and Mitch a week ago started off normal and pleasant as always, but had ended with Mitch bringing up Harry and me leaving abruptly.

"He's a mess. Hasn't left his house and has been ignoring everyone all week. We don't know what really happened between you two, but it's obvious that you haven't been the same as well."

The mention was enough to irk me. "Can we not right now?"

"Look even though we care about you, it's still non of our business to get involved. But it's still our jobs to see that when someone we care about is bothered by something, we make sure they are aware of it. Both of you aren't happy and should simply talk about it."

"It's not that simple Sara, he's too stubborn."

"It doesn't have to be now, but eventually. You yourself know that what you two have is way too special to just walk away from."

"Yeah well what if it's not? What if it's just not what everyone expects it to be? That even if we somehow make it work throughout everything, he's just going to run off to someone else again who'll just be better in so many ways."

"He's not the type of person to do that and you know it."

"I thought I did."

With my head rested on my hand, I feel my eyes droop. The instrumental of the song played on repeat on the program as I try to come up with words. Heartbreak and insecurities are the only topics that come to mind with the upbeat sound. I close my eyes for bit, letting the first stage of sleep take it's toll while my brain works overtime producing lines of rhymes.

But my ringtone drives me out of it. I only force my eyes open when I pick up my phone and answer the call, not thinking of who could be the only possible human being to call me at this hour. I sighed, pausing the recording and saving it. "Hello?"

"Hiiiii love! Karl told me I should call someone because I've had too much apparently. Can you please tell him that I'm a grown man that can handle my alcohol?" Shit.

"Harry- wait hold on, you're drunk now? Don't you have... who are you with?" My voice was tired and already raspy. It took longer than needed to process what was actually happening.

"Oh just all by my lonesome self at first... imagined you here a few times but I know that wasn't true, but Karl the bartender is here now!" His voice was muffled and almost drowned out by the sound of a pub. His words were slurred and I can only rub my temples at the situation he's already put me in.

"Why did you call me for this."

"Well my phone's dead and you're the number I memorized." He said softly after hearing my tone. I shouldn't, but he's drunk and alone.

"I'll call Mitch-"

"Only want you. Please?" I can imagine him pouting and I was too tired to argue with him.

"I can't do this right now..."  

"Bubs, my head is starting to hurt and everyone is not being nice. Except Karl, Karl is a nice dude."

Maybe if I wasn't overworked and sleep deprived at the moment, I would of been in the righter state of mind. But the other half of me that worried about his state took the opportunity to see him once again.

"Where are you, Harry?"

***

It was easy to find a drunk Harry Styles at a pub. A small local one that we've been too once or twice in the past, enjoying each other's company over a glass after studio hours. And there he was again, sat at the stools we'd sit on and wallowing to Karl the bartender.

"Hey." I placed a hand on his shoulder after making my way through the small crowd that gathered around him that's been listening into his conversation. His eyes light up when he turns around and sees me, while I take in how disheveled he looks. His curls are messy and his bloodshot baggy eyes tells me he's been crying for a while.

"You're here." He mutters softly after he takes a moment to register that it's actually me. I only give him a small nod in confirmation, feeling that heart ache as he pulls me into a hug. "I'm sorry." I hear when he nuzzles into my neck, most likely apologizing when he sees how tired and unwell i am as he does.

"It's okay, come on let's get you home." I managed to let out, pulling away, guiding him out of his seat and away from the bar. "Oh okay, bye Karl! Keep the change." I send the bartender a grateful smile to which he returns with a pity look on his face.

"Just hold my hand Harry okay?" I tell him when I remember how clingy he gets when intoxicated. He doesn't hesitate to do so as we make our way through the crowd and out of the building.

I managed to get him in the passenger's seat without much interaction, now in the driver's seat and cursing at myself when I realized I didn't have enough gas to take him to his house. I didn't have the energy to go to the gas station this late.

"Are you crying..." He asks, pouting when I placed my face in my hands, taking deep breaths. "Please don't be sad, love." I shook my head, counting in my head as I felt Harry lean over and watch me.

"How many did you have?" I asked when I built up the will not to cry and turned on the ignition.

"Didn't bother counting, didn't matter." I kept my eyes in front of me as I drove while I felt his still on me.

"I would beg to differ. Shouldn't be my responsibility anyways." I quickly countered, noting the sharp tone in my voice and the frown I could imagine on his face.

"I'm sorry...I really wanted to see you."

"Hmm, and getting wasted and being an inconvenience is the way to get my attention." There was a second of silence and I glanced at him to check if he was still conscious, only to see that frown and his head hung in shame. My eyes trailed to the pearl necklace tucked into his sweater, as well as a yellow ribbon tied where it clasps together.

The grip I had on the wheel loosened but I sighed as I hated how guilty I felt after, aware how difficult it was to be mad when he was hurt. "That was harsh..."

"Nooo, I deserve it. I really do because I was mean to you and I don't ever want to be mean to you. Because it hurts me too ya know? More than it did when you walked away...I'm sorry that I hurt you."

I didn't say anything after that, spending the rest of the car ride back to my place in silence.

***

"You don't have to be rich, to be my giiirl. You don't have to be cool to rule my wooorld..."

My annoyance conflicted with the flutters my heart was feeling as Harry was softly singing all the way from my car to my sofa, hand held and clinging to my side the whole time. He plopped down, immediately taking a pillow. "Ain't no particular sign, I'm more compatible wiiith- hey you have that record right? Can you put it on pretty please?"

"It's 2AM, I'm not putting on a record right now." I took off my shoes and coat, graciously doing the same for him when he pouts and rests his head back on the couch. "Aw, you used to not care about that before. Is it because of your neighbors terrible taste of music to blast so late at night?"

"What?" I rubbed my eyes, standing up and going to the kitchen. I couldn't hear his mumbled response, but I returned with a glass of water to see him humming with his eyes closed. He cuddled the pillow close to him and I rolled my eyes, almost laughing at how he was tapping his foot along with the song he was playing in his head.

"Here..." He holds his hand out expectantly and I gave it to him. He takes a drink while I place his coat over the coffee table and go to get him an extra pillow and blanket.

"Oh everything hurts." He whines as I place the pillow down on the end of the couch. "My heart mostly, but that's so cheesy of me isn't it? Yours probably hurts more m' sorry...wish I could take it away."

It wasn't just his naïve words that had my eyes start welling up with tears, but it was also the realization of how he can easily break me down. I couldn't last a whole month without being there when he needs someone, when I was the one who wanted to leave. It was also probably the realization that I had grabbed the same blanket we used to set that little picnic in the studio.

"Wish I didn't cause it in the first place." He added, which led to me sitting down on the chair next to the couch, holding onto the blanket a little longer as delirium was starting to set in.

"I don't think we should have this conversation now, Harry... this is so unfair." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"It is, but I'm scared I won't get another chance." My silence gave him the answer he was already aware of.

"What exactly do you want another chance of Harry, enlighten me." I closed my eyes for a minute, only to open them to see Harry looking at me in a different way. It's different, but I've noticed it before.

"Loving you." He's hesitant with his next words, most likely having sobered up a little. "I hadn't seen Heather for a few days after you left, told her later on about what happened. Took your advice though, talked to her and everything. It just wouldn't work out in the end...couldn't see myself with her in the future."

"But now you do with me?" I softly muttered, holding myself back from reaching out to him. He only nods, having that guilty look on his face because he's fully aware he doesn't deserve it. My droopy eyes are glued to his and that damn pearl necklace, too many thoughts in my head to come up with one whole response.

"Should of just called Mitch. You're an idiot for giving yourself a hangover on your release day." I finally said after a moment of silence.

"Hmm? Oh that, no that's not happening." He says casually, playing with the embroidery on the pillow he was hugging.

"What do you mean?"

"I've postponed the album thingy indefinitely or something."

"Aren't you finished with it?"

"I mean it's got 12 songs and everything but I don't know if it's really finished, I don't know." He shrugs and I'm almost annoyed by how calm nonchalant he is about it.

"You never know things Harry."

"And I hate it, I knooow! I don't know why I can't just figure it out and I hate that I'm hurting you because of it." He frowns, rubbing his eyes. "But I do know now that I love you. Really love you. Maybe if I figured that out sooner, you wouldn't hate me bubs."

I fiddle with my fingers, given up on trying to collect all my thoughts together a long time ago as I can only allow myself to take in his words and listen. He was right, in any other situation where I wasn't tired and delirious, I probably wouldn't even be in the same room as him. So here I was again, allowing myself to hurt in order to make sure he's taken care of.

Maybe it's what I deserve though. He left Heather because of me. I caved into myself at the though that I ruined the relationship of two people who loved each other simply because I didn't get the memo. She is everything in his eyes, he's proven that, so why didn't I just leave them be?

"Ugh, you probably hate me calling you that now but you know I won't stop cause you are my bubs! Like how I'm you're H. Oh... well, you stopped calling me that so...maybe not anymore but I want to be. Can I be your H again please, I miss that too." My thoughts were cut off  when he continued, finding him now lying down with his eyes closed.

"Maybe one day." I reassured him hesitantly. We would of stayed friends, we wouldn't of had to fall apart, if I had just left him alone.

"Was a weird nickname anyways, just a letter." He mumbles as I stood up, laying the blanket over him while he still holds onto the pillow.

"You sort of gave it to yourself though, get some sleep Harry."  I managed to get out, facing away from him to hide the tear that fell. He should be trying to fix his relationship with her and not me.

"Yeah, but you just started calling me it and I fell in love with it." I take one more look at him before I shut my door, seeing his face nuzzled into the pillow and the glint of a small smile on his face as he drifts off to sleep.

***

8:23. I slept around 2 and woke up 7 hours later to faint piano keys. I took in the soft melody, not recognizing it but enjoying it for a second before I forced myself to sit up and rub my eyes, realizing how dry my skin was from crying. It was definitely a sad song made up of only four chords and a fitting way to start the day as I remember the person who is most likely playing it.

I didn't want to face him, my head feeling too mushed to deal with anything else other than work. It was a weird situation to realize, the man I fell in love with and broke my heart is playing piano after I took him in when he was drunk. He tells me he officially breaks up with Heather after realizing he loves me.

He loves me?

No he doesn't. He should still love her, should be trying to get back to her now that I'm out of the picture. But he hasn't been trying too for the past month, focused on me this whole time. But why?

I snapped myself out of those thoughts quickly, knowing how terrible the following ones would be. I didn't want to think about it anymore, wanting to forget and move on. And as I quietly open my door and peaked out onto my apartment, I see his mess of curls sat on my keyboard with the blanket wrapped around him. He was considerate enough to lower the volume at least.

I took a deep breath and walked out quietly, leaning against the door frame as I continue to listen. "Part of the album, has some of your lyrics in it." He says when he notices my presence.

"Hmm. You told me that you've postponed it." I crossed my arms as he finishes the song with a long note. I see him nod, now looking down at his hands on his lap before adjusting the blanket to fully encase him.

"Yeah I did. It didn't feel right, putting something out there that I should be proud of, but you not being there to be happy with. You not wanting too in there first place, when you put your heart and soul into it, all because of me."

I frown, looking away from him when his intense eyes met mine. "It's too early Harry..."

"You told me it wasn't a good time last night too, so when is?" He huffs and I roll my eyes.

"I don't know after I have my fucking coffee?" I scoffed, uncrossing my arms and heading towards the kitchen. I hear him sigh, not saying anything else as I prepare a cup for myself, already annoyed and stressed out. I felt him staring at me while I avoided making eye contact, rubbing my temples.

"I'm sorry if I was trouble." He says, still sat down on the keyboard with the blanket wrapped around him.

"You're sorry for a lot of things." I sighed, pouring coffee into my cup.

"I am. But I don't know how to really apologize to you when you won't even let me talk to you."

I placed my cup down, suddenly forgetting about my coffee and finally looked at him. "Well what do you expect Harry? After everything you think I'm just going to trust you again? I told you I was done, I wanted to walk out of your life."

"But you picked me up. You still care, that still has to means something." He's frustrated now, desperate even and it only frustrates me more.

"Ah yes, decent morality to not leave an A list celebrity drunk in room full of strangers. That really dumb of you to do by the way, without any bodygaurds- what were you thinking?" I said, noticing how he was fiddling with the pearls that hung around his neck.

"The past month has been hell for me and all I wanted to do was see you. I feel so fucking guilty and sad and it's eating me up because I know I don't deserve any sort of reassurance from you. But at the same time, I so badly just want you back and I'm sorry for how selfish and arrogant I am." He was crying and I soften a little because of it. He tries holding it in, looking down as he quickly wipes away the tears that fall. I don't bother hiding mine anymore, having gotten used to it by now and I was tired of it.

"I've been in pain since December. Four months that you put me through so can blame me when I just want it to stop? I am so exhausted because no matter how much I throw myself into work, all I can think about is you and loving you."

"But I love you too, shouldn't that be enough to try again?" It should of been and he knows. Maybe if he realized it sooner, during his birthday, things would be different.

"You've proven that it's not." I say disappointingly, willing myself to walk over and sat down next to him, looking ahead at my piano in front of me. "I don't know what to do anymore Harry. Why can't you let me have this? Let me move on."

"Cause you and I both know we can't leave each other, too emotionally attached. I need you in my life bubs, everything sucks when you're not in it." I laugh a little at that, because it was true in a fucked up way.

"That's so unfair, why did you have to hurt me?" I hesitantly lay my head on his shoulder before he droops the other end of the blanket around me.

"I know most of my relationships don't last. Deep down I've always loved you but I couldn't let myself fall for you because I didn't want to ruin us. The thought of us breaking up and never seeing each other again just terrified me because I never wanted to lose you, ever. But I fucked up and managed to do so anyways, and I hate myself every day as much as you do." He starts playing the song again as he speaks, but it plays it down a key and slower.

"I don't hate you, can't bring myself too, but you shouldn't of been afraid to talk to me. You know who I am, we would of worked through it no matter what." He nods, followed by only the sounds of the piano melody.

"I'm in love with you." I hear him say softly after a little while out of the blue. It catches me off guard, finding it so foreign to hear those words come from him.

I let out a soft self deprecating chuckle. "No you don't. You care about me, but you don't love me. Probably saying this out of guilt or spur of the moment type thing and I can understand that, but you love Heather. She's good for you, perfect even."

"But I fell in love with you. She's not you." His brows are furrowed together as he frowns.

"Yeah, I'm not her." The small glint of my smile quickly fades and he notices it.

"What I did during my speech was very shitty. Gemma pointed it out to me right away and it's one of the biggest things I ever regret doing." He stops playing when he sees me deep in thought, slowly taking my hand to test the waters. "But I need you to understand what I said was true, that you are such an important person to me. You are beautiful, and kind, patience, and just so fucking good to me, love. I want to cherish you because it's what you deserve and I will deal with as much rejection for you to forgive me and give me another chance. It's worth every heartbreak if it means I get to love you again."

I find myself in an intimate situation, looking into his eyes at such a close proximity, our faces only inches away from each other. I was pleading to him with my eyes, begging him not to hurt me again while the look on his face was one I used to be familiar with. He was frozen while the fear that it would only just happen again held me back from moving. His eyes fluttered down to my lips, as if asking for permission and my head was refusing it. But every other part of me wanted to feel those lips again. I looked down at his, my hand taking hold of his and placing it on my chest to where my heart is before he made the move to finally press our lips together in a small kiss.

I wanted to sob because it felt right. I felt the butterflies again and the complete state of satisfaction. This time was gentle as well, but Harry put so much love into the kiss, cupping my cheek with his other hand when he feels how fast my heart was beating.

It only took a second more before I slowly pulled away, still tightly holding his hand against my heart as he could sense my doubt. "It's going to take some time okay? Probably a long time but you caused me a lot of heartbreak. But I never stopped loving you H, as much as I didn't want too anymore." I said seriously, and his eyes lits up with hope. Holding back his smile as much as he could while he nods because he heard that little nickname again.

"I'll give you as much time and space as you need, thank you. I love you so much bubs." He pulls me into a hug, nuzzling his face into my neck and I feel instantly calmer because of it. I rest my head on his shoulder while he mumbles sweet words into my skin.

"Promise I'll be good to you."

______________________________________________

A/N: :o it’s complete. I finished it yay! I’m so proud with how this series came out and I genuinely hope you guys do as well. I’ve started my semester and it’s going to be hectic so writing will take longer to come out, but there will be future stories that I’m really looking forward to writing and sharing :)

taglist: @big-galaxy-chaos​

[preciouspeterbparker]

i wish i were

inspired by conan gray’s “heather”

warnings: stepsibling incest (not yet but that’s the whole premise), underage masturbation, underage sex, angst. peter’s like 16 and a half, Tony’s almost 18

word count: 2.2k

summary: peter’s in love with his big brother. no biggie. (spoiler alert: it’s a big deal)

(A/N: okay this has been living in my head rent free for over a month. i've written more, but it's not fully fleshed out yet. 

i figured i would post this and see if anyone is interested in reading it before i put a bunch more effort in lmao. this is filth. most of the angst comes later lololol (and more filth).

i hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think / if you'd like to read more!

- bloo)

PART ONE

Peter stands at his locker, desperately trying to blend in and remain unseen as he switches out his English textbook for Physics. The school year is basically over, given that it’s the last week of May but he’s still not comfortable in the junior-senior hallway. He’s always been the youngest (and therefore smallest) kid in most of his classes, given that he’s been in the ‘gifted & talented’ track since middle school. (He’s on track to graduate next year, taking his last few mandatory classes and completing an internship for additional credit.) This year, Peter feels even smaller than usual; maybe because most of the seniors are already eighteen, while as a sophomore, he isn’t even seventeen. He doesn’t have many friends this year, because of it. Ned moved away last summer because his dad got a new job, and, well, he’d never really needed more than Ned before. 

“Hey Pete-squeak,” comes a voice from behind, making him jump. Rolling his eyes, Peter pivots slightly to face the newcomer. The infestation of butterflies that he's been harboring for the past few months begins to flutter immediately, tickling the walls of his stomach as his cheeks flush lightly.

The voice belongs to a tall (or, well, taller than Peter, anyway), ridiculously handsome boy with dark hair and dark eyes, walking towards Peter with his hands in his pockets. The cheeky smirk on his face is all but permanent, but the small, genuine smile it slips into is something that Peter holds close to his chest, something that is typically reserved for him.  

Tony, his older brother, is pretty much Peter's favorite person in the world. Technically, he’s Peter’s step brother. Maria, his mom, and Peter’s dad Richard got married when Peter was a year old and Tony was almost three. They’d essentially spent their whole lives together; neither of them could really remember anything before. They’ve always been close, but that’s changed a little bit this year.

“Hey Tony,” Peter chirps, reaching back into his locker to grab his physics binder. He tries to act natural, even though he feels anything but. His heart’s going a mile a minute inside his rib cage. He feels a little ridiculous, he has for the past few months. Swallowing, he manages to sound relatively calm. “You read the last 2 chapters of Beowulf, right? Mrs. Herrera gave us a pop quiz last period.” 

The older teen groans. Closing his eyes, he throws his head back, a metallic thunk sounding as it collides with the locker he’s leaning back on. “Fucking hell. The final paper is due in like four fucking days! Is that not enough?” It’s quiet for a moment as Tony pauses before he opens one eye, cutting it to look at Peter. “What were the answers?” 

Peter snorts in response, shutting his locker. “Not happening, T.”  He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time and lets the left side of his body rest against the cool metal. Three minutes til the bell rings, and Mr. Riley’s class is right across the hall. So he’s essentially got three minutes to indulge himself and the fuzzy warmth that’s running through his veins. He loves any time he gets to spend with Tony. “You’re lucky I told you at all, be grateful.” 

Tony wrinkles his nose at him. “Rude,” he scoffs in mock offense. “I know you can remember them,” comes his teasing accusation. (And he’s right. Peter can recall the entirety of the quiz, but he’s still not going to enable Tony.) Then he pauses and raises an eyebrow at his younger brother. “Is that my sweatshirt?” The garment in question is a worn and slightly faded black Led Zeppelin USA 1977 crewneck sweatshirt. Peter’s wearing it over a charcoal and white check button-up. The sweatshirt is one of Tony’s favorite pieces of clothing, he wears it all the time (hence why Peter...borrowed it...without asking).

Having mentally prepared himself to be questioned at some point, Peter’s reply is already on the tip of his tongue. “Yeah, it ended up in my laundry and once I put it on it was too cozy to take off. And it looks good with these jeans and the button-up. And my boots. Trying out a new look,” he finishes, smiling as he pushes his glasses further up his nose. Tony often teased him about the thick, clear-but-slightly-pink frames, but Peter hadn’t wanted glasses at all (he doesn’t need any more reasons to be teased, thank you), but he likes these. They make him look cute, more feminine. More like someone Tony could want. 

“You’re right,” Tony smiles. One of his hands comes up to playfully ruffle at Peter’s russet hair. “Looks great on you, kid.” There’s warm affection in his voice. 

Peter feels his cheeks go hot again, and he wills the flush to go away. He can’t take compliments from Tony, now- they make him ache and preen simultaneously. He knows that Tony doesn’t mean it the way he wants. Peter knows that Tony would never speak to him again if he knew what was really going on inside his little brother’s head. The thought makes him sick to his stomach. 

Speaking of stomachs. “Hey,” he starts as he fingers through the papers in his physics binder, attempting to find the problem set that’s due today. “Did you ever catch up on Hell’s Kitchen? I’ve been rewatching episodes trying to wait for you, but you’re taking too long. You saw the episode where Gordon-” Peter’s heart falls to his stomach and he abruptly stops speaking when he looks up to notice that Tony isn’t looking at him anymore, barely seems to be listening. 

It falls completely out of his ass when he sees just what, just who, has stolen his attention. 

“Sorry, Pete, gotta go,” Tony mutters once he realizes that Peter’s stopped talking, shooting him a hasty smile and shoving off the navy metal. He skirts past Peter, a slight skip in his step as he makes his way down the hallway. 

Peter's swallows and clenches his jaw as he watches his brother walk straight to her, the bane of his existence. The reason he and Tony don’t spend as much time together anymore. The object of Tony’s affections. Pepper. She's...everything Peter wishes he could be, honestly. Tall, somehow a perfect mix of skinny & curvy, bright blue eyes, long strawberry-blonde hair. She's perfect. And not only in looks; she's also ridiculously smart. If Tony wasn’t valedictorian, she surely would be. She even volunteers at the local soup kitchen every weekend, and Peter’s pretty sure she reads to dogs at the animal shelter once a month. He hates that Pepper is so nice; he hates that he can't hate her without hating himself for it. 

As if he didn't have enough self-loathing already.

***

Peter exits the bathroom that connects his bedroom with Tony’s after gently flicking the lock on his brother’s door to disengage it, the soft ‘snick’ ridiculously loud in the quiet of the house. He’s the only one home; Mom and Dad are at some sort of event for Dad’s law firm, and Tony went to a party at Rhodey’s house. (Tony had insisted that Peter was invited, but he had to know that the younger would never go- why would he want to be surrounded by drunk, horny, belligerent teenagers? The last thing he wanted to see was Tony and- )

There’s a dark gray towel loosely wrapped around his waist, so loose he has to clutch it in his hand to keep it from falling. He closes his own bathroom door behind him and drops the towel, digging through his underwear drawer to pull out a random pair of plaid boxers. 

After sliding them on, the brunette takes a deep breath and lays back against the pillows, arms behind his head. He tries to consciously relax his muscles, the tension of the day not having melted away during his shower like he had hoped. Time for Plan B. It’s never let him down before. Peter reaches for his phone and unlocks it before swiping through his apps to open Spotify. The sound of “Dazed and Confused” fills the air through his speakers, and he sets it to repeat on a loop. It’s a little fucked up, the way he’s conditioned himself to respond to this song, but- Peter knows the whole thing is fucked up; he’s fucked up. 

Closing his eyes, he does the only thing he’s been capable of for months: he thinks of his older brother. 

He’s growing fond of the new facial hair Tony’s trying out; he wonders how it would feel against his skin. Which areas would be the most sensitive to its touch? His thighs? His neck? Peter’s head tilts back and to the side as he imagines wet, warm lips and the scratch of stubble. Just the thought, the phantom sensation, makes a soft mewl leave his mouth. It’s a little ridiculous how easy he can get himself going, when he thinks of Tony’s touch, of his body. Of his love. In his boxers, his cock shifts against his thigh as it begins to fill out. 

The sensual, plucky bassline and wailing guitars of the song drag along, and so does Peter’s breathing as he brings a hand up to pinch at one of his nipples. He imagines the way Tony would tease him until he was whining, begging for release. He supposes it wouldn’t be dissimilar to his older brother’s typical manner of playfully taunting him. Maybe Tony would pin him down like he did when they were younger, climb on top of him and hold him there with the muscles he’s gained from boxing in the garage. The opportunities he’s had to see the older teen breathing heavy, shirtless and glistening with sweat, would be forever ingrained in his mind. The mental image sends more blood rushing south and his dick throbs as it quickly reaches full hardness, drawing a gasp from his mouth. 

Peter takes himself in hand, studying the details of his cock. He knows he’s not huge, but he’s at least on the larger side of average. It’s flushed a deep, mauve-y pink, and he traces the line of a vein on the side with the tip of his pinkie. A shiver shoots down his spine. He wonders how similar it is to Tony’s. Is he circumcised like Peter is? Is he bigger? Longer, thicker even? Sure, he’s seen him naked before, when they were younger changing or in the bath, but that stopped around the time Tony was seven or eight. 

(Tony and Peter had come home from school one day, and Peter’s head had been reeling over what he heard some older girls saying on the bus. He’d decided to ask Tony about it. His big brother knew everything. ...Mom & Dad caught them kissing in their bedroom. That was the end of bathing together, and Tony got his own room, too. Peter never forgot about the way his big brother’s lips felt against his own.) 

A bead of precum oozes out of his tip and Peter rubs his thumb over it, smearing the liquid over his cockhead. Robert Plant’s voice moans over the speaker and Peter echoes the sound as he slowly strokes himself with a loose grip, his hole tightening around nothing. Biting his lip, he hesitates before slipping his left pointer finger into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it sloppily. Once it’s wet, he reaches down and gently presses the pad of his finger against the tightly furled muscle between his cheeks. His breath hitches as the sensation; he’s only touched himself down here a couple of times before. 

The tip of his finger begins to breach his opening and a whine leaves Peter’s mouth. It stings a bit so he tries to relax, muscles fluttering, making a mental note to grab some lube next time he goes to the drugstore. He wants to be able to stretch himself out more, to imagine Tony’s fingers, Tony’s cock, splitting him open and stuffing him full. Fuck-

Tightening his grip on the base of his cock, Peter grits his teeth and grunts softly as he pulls his finger from his ass. He can’t cum yet- he’s not done. He reaches under his pillow, pulling out the balled-up t-shirt that’s taken up residence there. The black fabric has faded in some spots, and the Black Sabbath logo is cracked and worn; it’s one of Tony’s favorite shirts. Peter brings the soft cloth up to his nose, fumbling with it to find the area with the strongest smell. There are hints of Tony’s Old Spice deodorant mixed with a scent that’s distinctly Tony, a warm, masculine musk that has saliva pooling in Peter’s mouth. Delirious, fucking his hand to the beat, he wishes he had dug a little further in the hamper, pulled out a pair of Tony’s briefs. 

That’s the thought that does him in. Peter cums into his fist, gasping his brother’s name, the sound getting muddled in the maelstrom of guitar and drums. Thick ropes of jizz splatter on his stomach and chest, entire abdomen heaving with his breaths. 

He wipes the mess up with Tony’s t-shirt before tucking the fabric back under his pillow for safe keeping.

to be continued???

[waitimcomingtoo]

i was just wondering if maybeeeeeee you’d do a fic inspired by the song heather by conan gray with peter

She

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader, MJ x reader

Synopsis: Peter puts his feelings for you aside to help you with your feelings for something else 

Warnings: pinning, mentions of homophobia, Flash being gross but supportive

Listen to this song because it’s lovely! Thank you anon for introducing me to it!

Peter was woken up by you tiredly shaking his arm. He slowly opened his eyes to see you with unkempt hair rubbing your face. He sat up in your bed, still in his clothes from the night before. A textbook fell off his lap with his movements and hit the floor with a thud, making you both jump.

“We overslept.” You said as you stretched your arms. Peter looked at his phone and saw you had ten minutes before first period, not before taking a few moments to admire the way you looked in the morning. He smiled a little to himself as you hastily ran a brush through your hair and couldn’t help but imagine a lifetime of mornings like this.

“Did we fall asleep studying?” He asked as he hopped off your bed and fixed his hair in the mirror. You smacked his butt and giggled as you walked past him to get to the bathroom.

“I guess so. You should text May and tell her why you never came home.” You said before giving quickly brushing your teeth.

“Okay.” Peter yawned as he typed out the text. “Damn. I don’t have time to go home and change before school.”

“Here. Just throw this on.” You tossed your debate team hoodie at him. “We gotta go.”

You and Peter made your way to school, you grumbling the whole way about how much faster you’d get there if he would just swing. He laughed, having had this conversation with you many times in the past.

“We should just try it. I bet we’d get to school in ten seconds flat.” You pointed out as Peter quickly threw some books in his locker.

“My identity will get exposed in ten seconds flat too. How about that?” Peter replied and you sighed. He hated saying no to you, his mission in life was to forever keep you happy, but this was one thing he couldn’t give you.

“Fine. But this conversation isn’t over.” You folded your arms. Peter couldn’t help but smile at you.

“Nice hoodie, L/n.” Flash taunted as he slapped Peter on the back, breaking him out of his daze.

“What?” Peter asked in confusion.

“Check the back of that hoodie.” Flash pointed at him. Peter looked over his shoulder and saw your last name printed at the bottom of the hoodie.

“Relax, Parker. I think it’s cute that you wear your girlfriends clothes.” Flash teased. “You know, Y/n always looks so good in that red skirt. Maybe borrow that next?” Flash laughed at himself before walking away. You scoffed at his comment but Peter was still hung up on him calling you his girlfriend. It was a common mistake people made, but it never failed to catch Peter off guard.

“Who cares what he says?” You shook your head once Flash left and straightened out the hoodie. “It looks good on you, anyway.”

“Really?” Peter asked timidly.

“Better than it ever has on me.” You laughed. Peter opened his mouth to say something until he saw your gaze shift to the left. He heard your heartbeat speed up as a faint blush painted your cheeks.

“Hey MJ.” You said as MJ walked back. She gave your a smirk and nodded her head.

“Hey L/n. And hey, other L/n.” She said in regards to Peters hoodie. Peter gave her a right smile and turned his attention back to you. To his surprise, you were still watching MJ walk down the hall, only turning back around when she was out of sight.

“She’s funny, isn’t she?” You laughed lightly. “She’s in my physics class this year. I have a total friend crush on her.”

“If you wanna be her friend, then go talk to her.” Peter said as you began to walk towards homeroom.

“Are you kidding? She’s way too cool to be talking to me.” You shook your head and Peter frowned.

“Y/n, there’s no one cooler than you.” Peter said sincerely. “She’d be lucky to be your friend. Just talk to her.”

“Maybe.” You chewed your lip as you reached your classroom. “All right. I’ll see you in calc.”

You gave Peter a short hug before heading into the class. He watched you as you left, a content smile on his face before leaving to go to his own homeroom.

The following week, you sat in your physics class, staring at MJ with your head leaning on your hand. She began to look in your direction, so you quickly looked away.

“Alright class. It’s lab day. Partner up.” Your teacher announced. Before you could look around for a partner, you heard someone drop their books on the desk next to you.

“Hey.” MJ said as she took the seat beside you. “Since you like staring at me so much, do you want to be partners? I think I look better close up.”

“I wasn’t staring at you.” You quickly stammered, feeling your face heat up upon getting caught.

“Right.” MJ laughed. “And I don’t support women’s rights.”

You gulped and moved your stuff onto the floor, focusing all your attention on the lab. MJ watched you, studying your features as you read through the directions.

“Hey, Y/n?” MJ nudged you and you looked up at her, pupils dilated from how close she was. Close enough to see the sun reflecting off the honey colored highlights in her curls.

“Yes?” You said softly.

“You know how I knew you were staring at me?” She leaned in even closer and you froze.

“How?” You asked and a smiled tugged at the corner of her lips.

“I was already staring at you.” She said casually. You stared at her blankly as she took the lab from you and read it over. You made normal conversation for the next ten minutes, slowly feeling more comfortable in her presence. She was funny, funnier than she let on.

“Can we close the window?” MJ asked suddenly, running her hands over her bear arms.

“Sorry, Michelle. We have to keep the windows open when using these chemicals.” The teacher told her. MJ reluctantly nodded and shivered a little in her seat.

“Are you okay?” You asked as you scribbled down a formula.

“I picked the wrong day to feel the bern.” She chuckled, pulling a little at her short sleeved Bernie Sanders t-shirt. You hesitated for a moment, then reached into your backpack for your debate team hoodie.

“Here.” You offered it to her. She looked between you and the hoodie and gave you a small smile before taking it.

“Thanks, babe.” She said as she slipped it on. You let out a nervous laugh at the nickname and gave her a once over as she went back to work. It wasn’t long before she left you staring at looked you at you. “What?”

“Nothing.” You shook your head and quickly went back to the lab. “I just never see you in bright colors. Especially not sky blue.” You said after a moment, taking in how small she looked into your hoodie. The sight of her in your clothing sent a wave of emotions through you that you didn’t recognize.

“There’s a reason for that.” She leaned in close to you as if she were telling you a secret. “There’s an ongoing rumor that I’m a witch and my wardrobe really solidifies the theory.”

“You don’t have to wear it if it messes with your reputation.” You laughed at her reason but hoped she wouldn’t take the hoodie off.

“Like I would ever pass up the opportunity to wear a pretty girls hoodie.” MJ scoffed. “Besides, Michelle L/n suits me. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah. Totally.” You bite back a smile and went back to the lab, sneaking a few more glances at her the rest of the period.

Peter found you at your locker at the end of the day with a strange smile on your face.

“Did I see MJ wearing your hoodie just now?” He asked curiously as he approached you. You stopped putting your books away and looked up.

“Is she around?” You asked as you looked around the hallway.

“No, I passed by her locker.” Peter said as he eyed you carefully. Your behavior today was strange and unreadable. It didn’t help that the sight of MJ in your hoodie, the same hoodie you previously leant him, was bumming him out. He felt cold without it, and a little jealous. Yes, he had hoodies if him own, but he preferred the warmth of the ones owned by the girl he liked.

“Oh.” You said in disappointment. “And yeah. She was cold during Physics so I gave it to her. She tried to give it back but I insisted she wore it the rest of the day.”

Peter tried not to let it bother him. It was just a hoodie, after all. Some polyester didn’t mean a thing. But in the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but think that giving your hoodie to MJ neutralized the romantic intentions behind you giving it to him. He had been the one to encourage you to talk to her, but now he feared she was replacing his spot as your best friend.

“Since when are you and MJ friends?” He asked, hoping the answer would erase his fear.

“I don’t know. Since today, I think.” You laughed to yourself and shrugged. Peter nodded, content with your answer. You and Peter had been best friends for 13 years. One day of friendship with MJ wasn’t a threat in the slightest.

Even if she was wearing your hoodie.

“Is she as weird as people say?” Peter wondered.

“No, no she’s incredible. She’s funny and she’s got a really beautiful mind.” You suddenly caught sight of her down the hall, a small smile crossing your face. “Not a bad outside either.” You said quietly.

Peter kept his gaze on you, watching your eyes as she walked by. He noticed the way your eyes followed her until she disappeared into the crowd, mesmerized by her every step. And he noticed the little sigh that escaped your lips when she did.

“Yeah, total sight for sore eyes.” Peter said, never taking his eyes off you. He wasn’t sure what had happened between you and her, but it definitely kept him up that night.

It wasn’t long before MJ started hanging around. You still gave Peter just as much attention as you did before, which Peter appreciated, but you gave her a lot of attention as well. Peter was never alone with you at your locker anymore, always in the company of MJ as well. He noticed things about your friendship with MJ that were different from his friendship with you. She was often seen carrying your books or resting her head on her shoulder, things Peter wanted to do with you but couldn’t because he wasn’t your boyfriend. You seemed to be affectionate with MJ on a more intimate level, and Peter chalked it up to you both being girls. There was something about being a girl that gave MJ an advantage over Peter. He knew he didn’t have competition with MJ on the romantic front, but it still got to him every time she held your hand or wrapped her arms around your waist and left them there. He didn’t understand why she could touch you like that just because she was a girl.

But Peter tried to push these feelings away and be happy for you. He didn’t mind you having other friends and he actually liked MJ’s company. But he didn’t love sharing his best friend all the time. There were something about the way you talked about her, it looked at her, or touched her, that didn’t sit well with Peter. Something that was consuming him but he couldn’t quite explain.

“His tests are nothing like the notes. When did we even learn about this?” You said in tears as you pointed to a section on your calculus test, the very test you just failed.

“We didn’t. He’s just an idiot.” Peter said softly as he rubbed your back. He knew how much you struggled with the class and how much it upset you when you couldn’t grasp a concept.

“He’s an idiot, but I’m the one who’s not gonna get into college because I failed calculus.” You let out a shaky breath and crumpled up the test.

“It’s okay, babe. It’s one test.” MJ said as she reached across the table and placed her hand over yours. Peter watched as you smiled a little at her touch and nodded. He looked at MJ, who was busy staring at you in a way guys usually did. In a way Peter usually did. Peter furrowed his eyebrows at the wheels in his brain turned. Did he have competition on the romantic front? He didn’t know much about MJ. He knew she was a bit of an outsider and her sexual orientation was outside his limitations of knowledge about her. He also knew she was eyeing his best friend right about now and it was giving him a weird feeling in his tummy.

“I think MJ was checking you out.” Peter said as he walked you home. MJ, thankfully, lived in the other direction and gave you and Peter a chance to be alone.

“Really?” You snapped your attention to Peter. “When?”

“Back there, in the library. She was practically drooling over you.” He laughed, expecting you to laugh too. You didn’t, instead, smiling and touching your fingers to your lips.

“You’re not messing with me are you?” You turned to him and he shook his head.

“Why would I make that up?” Peter asked you and you shrugged, the smile still evident on your lips. “Do you want her to be checking you out or something?”

You fell into a silence as you continued walking.

“I don’t know.” You said honestly. You looked at Peter to see his reaction, and he gave you an understanding nod. The way you felt for MJ was different than anything you had ever felt. It scared you to death, but excited you at the same time. You liked her a lot, you just didn’t know how much.

You didn’t know. That wasn’t a yes or a no but it wasn’t something Peter was gonna pressure you to decide.

“Okay.” He said, all allowing you to say as much or as little as you liked.

“Okay.” You said, the smile in your face due to Peter this time. “I’ll see you later?”

Peter nodded as you pulled him into a hug.

“See you later.” He said, watching you as you went into your apartment. He wasn’t entirely sure what your answer meant, but he had a a feeling that you didn’t either.

Things didn’t change until the following week.

“This concludes our Fully Alive unit of health. I hope you all were able to take something from it and can use what you learned to have a healthy relationship with your future husband one day.” You health teacher announced as you concluded the unit on relationships. You had spaced out somewhere around the first slide and passed notes back and forth with MJ the rest of the period.

“Mrs. Barnum?” MJ short her hand up, eliciting a murmur from the class. She was know for starting debates, especially in health class.

“Yes, Michelle?” The teacher said, little wearily.

“What if you like girls?” MJ asked as she stared right at you. You didn’t hear the reaction of the class, you didn’t hear anything at all actually. The corners of your vision darkened and turned black as you passed out in the middle of health.

“Here.” A water bottle was handed to you as you sat on the bleachers. You looked up to see MJ and felt your face go pale. You were ordered to get some fresh air after you fainted and the bleachers were the first place you could think of to go. There was one period left of school, and you knew MJ was ditching that period to be with you.

“Oh, thanks.” You gave her a tight lipped smile and accepted the water bottle. You toyed with the wrapper as she took a seat next to you.

“So, you hit the floor pretty hard.” She chuckled and you let out a groan.

“I know. I’m so embarrassed.” You buried your face in your hands. You had no idea what caused you to faint, most likely the panic of MJ’s confession in health. It was different before you knew she liked girls. There was less pressure to figure out if you felt the same.

“Come on, babe. Don’t be. Everyone hits the floor at one point or another.” She wrapped her arm around you shoulders and rubbed your arms, making you lean into her. “And that presentation was totally boring. I don’t blame you for passing out.”

“I’m so immature. I’m sure Peters gonna be running out here any second and I’m gonna have to explain to him what happened. And I don’t even know what happened!” You exclaimed, looking up at the sky in defeat.

“What’s the deal with you and Parker anyway?” MJ asked. For the first time, she seemed unsure of herself. She usually assertive tone was gone and she sounded vulnerable.

“Peter? He’s my best friend.” You shrugged, not knowing what he had to do with the conversation.

“That’s not what I heard. Everyone I asked said you were dating.” MJ told you. You smiled a little at the thought of her asking people about you.

“People have thought we were dating since we were five. I don’t get it. If we were gonna fall in love, I’m pretty sure we would’ve done it by now.” You sighed, ever growing tired of the rumors around you and your best friend.

“Then who has turned that pretty little head of yours?” MJ asked and you felt yourself blush at her compliment.

“No one.” You said quietly.

“Yeah. Pretty slim pickings at this schools.” She said, a hint of disappointment in her voice. You looked at her curiously, wondering if you said the wrong thing.

“Yeah. That, and high school boys suck.” You tried to lighten the mood and it worked.

“Well, that’s a given.” She laughed. “The girls are cool, though.” She said, giving you a once over.

“Yeah, girls are really cool. I mean, the girls here are cool.” You stammered. “But yeah, the boys here are total idiots. I saw Flash give himself a wedgie once and livestream it. He said he wanted to live like the less fortunate.”

“High school boys are a different breed.” She clicked her tongue.

“Tell me about it.” You said as you took a sip of the water bottle.

“Good thing I’m gay.” She remarked. You spit out your water and began to choke on it. MJ laughed as she patted your back.

“I’m so sorry. I promise I’m not homophobic or anything, that just caught me by surprise.” You apologized as you wiped the water off your chin.

“It’s cool. I’ve seen plenty of homophobia in my day, babe. Spitting out your water is not something I take offense too.” She assured your, using her sleeve to dry your face.

“Cool.” You said, relieved that you didn’t just blow your chance with this girl.

“What’s up? You’re not usually this quiet.” MJ nudged you. Your heart pounded as you felt everything coming to a head.

“I’m sorry. You just make me kinda nervous.” You admitted while you kept your eyes down.

“Why? Because I’m a big scary lesbian?” She joked.

“Because you’re beautiful.” You said sincerely as you looked up at her. She stopped smiling and raised her eyebrows slightly. You looked away again, fearing you just ruined everything you had with her.

“You’re kinda beautiful too.” She said after a beat of silence.

“You think?” You asked timidly. She smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I know. Why do you think I’m always observing you?” She pointed out. “I love the way you act when you think no ones looking. I practically die every time I see you pretending to fix your hair so you don’t get called on. It’s like, as soon as the teacher ask something, you jump a little and start braiding your hair. I adore it.” She laughed to herself as he laced her fingers through yours.

“I like the way you always say what you’re thinking.” You told her, in light of her confession. “And I like honest you are.”

“I like honesty. I value it above all.” She informed you. Your gaze dropped from her eyes to her lips, back to her eyes. She swallowed a little and gave your hand a squeeze.

“Can I be honest right now? Since you like it, and all?” You asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the mood.

“Of course.” MJ encouraged you.

“I really like it when you hold my hand.” You lifted your interlocked hands and held them to your heart, wrapping your other hand around hers. She looked at your hands and smiled to herself as you put them back down on your lap.

“I like it too.” She told you, and you felt the adrenaline coursing through you.

“Can I be honest again?” You asked, your leg bouncing a little as you worked up nerve.

“Go ahead.” MJ nodded.

“I honestly wish you’d kiss me right now.” You said as you looked her in the eyes. MJ smiled a little before leaving in a kissing you, using her free hand to keep your face in place. You kissed her back, tasting her spearmint chapstick before pulling away.

“I’ve honestly been waiting for that for the longest time.” She smiled against you lips and gave you another quick peck. You sighed happily and let out a shaky laugh, a little flustered but never happier. Not wanting the moment to end, you took the relationship further.

“Hey uh, I have a coupon for two free sandwich’s at Delmars. Would you maybe wanna get something to eat? With me?” You asked, still nervous to ask her out even though you just kissed.

“I’d love too.” She said as she pulled you up from the bleachers. “But we’re not using that coupon. I’m paying.”

“Why?” You asked curiously, shouldering your backpack as she picked up your books.

“I always pay on the first date.” She replied, kissing your cheek before leading you off the bleachers. You followed behind her with a dopey smile, all while holding her hand.

Later that day, Peter heard a panicked knocking at his door. He threw his phone on the bed after his fourth attempt to call you and opened the door, finding a very red faced you.

“Y/n, I was so worried.” Peter said as he pulled you into a hug. “Ned told me you fainted in health. What happened?”

“I’m fine, I swear.” You assured him before you let out a shaky breath. “I gotta tell you something.”

“Okay.” Peter furrowed his brows and closed they door behind you. He could hear your heart beating faster than it ever had and he worried that something had happened.

“Peter, I think I’m in love.” You admitted. Peter froze, his heart speeding up to match yours. Was it finally time for you two to take the next step and admit your feelings for each other. Peter kicked himself for waiting as long as he had, but at least it was happening now.

“Oh yeah? With who?” He smiled coyly, taking a step closer to you.

“With someone I really shouldn’t be into. Like, really, really shouldn’t be into.” You ran your fingers through your hair and Peter began to wonder what the big deal was.

“Why not?” He asked. “You can’t help how you feel.”

“But it’s all wrong Peter. I’ve never done anything like this, before. I thought I just liked their friendship at first but they way their brown eyes stared into mine started giving me butterflies, and I found myself constantly wanting to play with that curls and I just…” You covered your face with your hands and shook your head. “It’s just really confusing.”

“I know how you feel.” Peter put his hand on your shoulder, smiling a little to himself as you described him.

“You don’t.” You looked up at him, almost in tears. “You can’t.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, beginning to think this wasn’t the conversation he thought it was.

“I… I don’t know how to tell you this. I don’t know what to say, or how to explain.” You began to panic again and Peter took you by the hands, grounding you.

“Just say it, Y/n. You know you can tell me anything.” He said gently. Your bottom lip began to tremble and a tear fell down your cheek.

“But I love you more than anyone and if this changes how you see me I won’t be able to take it.” You cried and Peter pulled you into a hug.

“I love you too, and that’s why nothing will change the way I see you.” He said as he stroked your hair. You hugged him back tightly before letting go.

“Promise?” You asked.

“Promise.” He said as he wiped your tears with his thumbs.

“I like somebody.” You admitted, and his hope went back up.

“We’ve established that.” He chuckled. “What’s his name?”

You stared at Peter for a moment, heart racing and short of breath. You looked into his eyes, the eyes of your best friend, and made a decision to trust him.

“Her name is MJ.” You said slowly.

It didn’t have the affect on Peter that he thought it would. The girl he’d been in love with for ages just said she was in love with someone else, a girl for that matter. But something in Peters brain told him that whatever he was feeling could be dealt with later. It wasn’t time to get upset. It was time to make sure his best friend was okay.

“You like MJ?” He asked softly, squeezing your hands.

You nodded and your eyes filled with tears. Peter immediately pulled you into another hug and let you cry for a moment as he processed what you told him. He pulled away and held your face between his hands, looking you in the eyes.

“You thought that could change the way I saw you? The fact that you like a girl?” He chuckled softly at the thought.

“I didn’t know how you’d react, Peter. I mean, you read all those horror stories about parents kicking their own children out for things like this.” You whimpered and Peter shook his head.

“I know. But I’d never treat you like that, okay? You’re always gonna be safe here.” He promised.

“Thank you.” You pulled him towards you and kissed his cheek, letting you lips linger to communicate how much you appreciated his words.

“Come here. Sit. Let’s talk about this.” He said as he pulled you to his bed. You both sat down and he handed you a box of tissues. “Why are you so upset?”

“Because I like a girl, Peter.” You said as if it were crazy. “I had no idea I could do that. I grew up thinking I’d meet a prince and get married in his castle. I didn’t even know girls could like girls until Flash showed us that video Freshman year.”

“Let’s not talk about the video.” Peter closed his eyes and held up a hand.

“This is really scary for me, Peter.” You said quietly. “Everyone thinks I’m straight. My family, my friends, even me until recently. My parents never talked to me about this stuff. I feel like I was always expected to end up with a man. And now, I don’t know if I can. I love MJ. I love her the way I’m supposed to love boys. And that scares the hell out of me.”

“I know this isn’t something I can relate to, but I understand what you’re saying. You’ve always thought you were one thing and know you know you’re not. And that’s okay.” Peter rubbed your knee gently. It killed him to hear you say that you could never be with a man, but he knew this wasn’t the time or place to discuss that.

“When did this start?” He asked you.

“I don’t know. I always thought I just liked being her friend but I started thinking about her before I fell asleep, and right when I woke up.” You smiled a little to yourself at the thought of her. “I hate physics but I started looking forward to that class everyday because that’s when I got to see her. Getting to talk to her for 40 minutes was the best part of my day, you know? I could listen to her theories on mind control for hours. I just liked hearing what she had to say.” You shrugged and toyed with a tissue. “She was absent one Friday and I was pissed off all weekend. I asked myself why I was so upset that I didn’t get to see her, and it hit me. I like her.”

“Does she like you back?” He asked, feeling his mouth dry up as he awaited the answer.

“Yeah, she does.” You smiled happily. It killed Peter to hear but he smiled anyway. “We just went on a date at Delmars. She held my hand under the table the whole time and when she walked me home, she kissed me. She kissed me before, too. I thought I was straight this morning and now I’ve kissed a girl. Twice.”

“What did you do?” Peter asked, repressing the feelings that came up with your every word.

“I said goodbye and ran straight to your apartment.” You chuckled.

“Okay. Maybe not the best move, but I’m sure you’ll be able to redeem yourself.” Peter assured you.

“Hopefully.” You nodded. “I’m sorry. I know this is a lot to throw at you.”

“It’s okay.” He promised you. “I’m just processing that you like a girl.”

“It’s not just a girl, Peter. You know how you always tease me because I’ve never had a crush on anyone?” You asked.

“Yeah.” He recalled all the times he was more than happy to hear that you still didn’t like anyone.

“I think it’s because I was always waiting for it to happen on a guy.” You realized. “But being with MJ has made me realize that I’m just not into guys. I like girls. I think I always have.”

“You think you’re gay?” Peter asked and you sighed.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready to label it just yet. But I know I like MJ. And I know I’ve never had romantic feelings for a boy, even when I tried too.” You told him.

“Tried too?” He tilted his head. You but your lip and took Peters hand.

“I used to lie awake at night, just asking myself over and over why I didn’t want to date you.” You admitted. Peter kept his face neutral as he waited for you to continue. “I mean, you’re sweet and funny and caring -look at you- you’re the most handsome boy in the world.”

“Shut up.” He rolled his eyes.

“You are! I have always thought that.” You insisted and he blushed. “I love everything about you. I love your company, your opinions, all of it. I would spend everyday with you for the rest of my life if I could.”

“That’s how I feel, too.” He said softly.

“And yet, we never dated.” You shrugged. “We never got together like people wanted. For the longest time, I thought there was something wrong with me for not being able to like you like that. No matter how close we got, no matter how perfect you were, I just didn’t feel it. I think this is why.”

Peter looked down, taking everything in him not to cry. You had unintentionally given Peter the worst news of his life. You loved him, you always had, but you could never be with him. All those nights he spent lying awake, wondering if you were thinking of him. You were. Just not the way he hoped.

“Please say something.” You said in relain se to his silence. He took a deep breath and went on autopilot.

“I love you, Y/n. And I hope this works out for you. She seems like a great girl.” He delivered.

“She is. And you’re a great friend.” You got emotional again and pulled him into a hug. He hugged you back as tight as he could. This obviously wasn’t the last time he’d ever hug you, but it was the last time he’d hug you and wonder what it meant to you.

If only you knew how much he liked you. If only you knew how much this conversation killed him. It wasn’t your fault, and he knew it. He just happened to fall in love with a girl who also liked girls.

“Thank you for accepting me. I love you, Peter.” You said before pulling out of the hug.

“I love you too. Now get outta here. Go talk to your lady.” He nudged you playfully and your stood up.

“I’ll call you later?” You asked before you stepped out of his bedroom door.

“Yeah. Later.” He nodded and you left.

“Bye, May.” He heard you call.

“Bye, sweetie. Take care.” He heard May’s voice before his front door closed. He went into the living room where May was and stared silently at the door, the smell of your perfume still lingering in the air.

“I really like Y/n. I’m glad you two stayed friends all these years.” May said as she straightened up the pillows.

“Yeah. I like her too.” Peter said, keeping his voice low to keep it from breaking.

“Why don’t you ask her out, Peter? You guys are together all the time anyway.” May asked, looking up at Peter and immediately sensing something was wrong.

“I can’t. I’m not her type.” He looked at her, tears now his eyes. The tears he had been holding in since you arrived.

“What makes you say that?” She said, crossing the room to meet her nephew.

“I’m a boy.” He said as he broke down. All the emotions he had been repressing came out at once. He was happy for you, but he has never been further from happy for him. He slid down the wall and May rushed to him.

“What?” She asked, picking up his face to make him look at her.

“She’s into MJ, May. She just told me. And I never got a chance to tell her that I-“ He cut himself off with a sob.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay.” May cooed as he pulled him into a hug.

“I love her, May. But she can never love me back. It’s ruined.” He sobbed into her shirt.

“It’s not ruined, Peter. You’re still her best friend.” May assured him.

“I want to be her boyfriend. And now that’s never gonna happen. I didn’t even know she liked girls.” Peters body heaved as he cried.

“Did she know?” May asked, this confession being news to her. “That she likes girls?”

“She said she’s still figuring it out but MJ is the only person she’s ever developed feelings for.” Peter managed to say before letting out another sob.

“Then this must be a really confusing time for her, Peter. She’s gonna need her best friend.” May picked up his face again. “I know this hurts you, but you have to think about how Y/n is feeling. She’s gonna need someone to talk to about this.”

“How am I supposed to listen to her talk about the girl she likes when I’m in love with her?” Peter asked. “And I can’t even hate MJ. She makes Y/n really happy. I just wish that were me.”

“You make Y/n happy too. Just in different ways.” May said soothingly. “This is one crush, Peter. I know you love her, but you have to be okay with watching her with someone else. Y/n may grow up and never think of MJ again. But she’s always gonna remember her best friend.”

Peter let Mays words resonate with him all the night, and carry over into the next day. He had to be able to look at you without crying. He had to be there for you, no matter what it meant for him. He repeated the conversation with May over and over in his head as he put his books in his locker.

“Hey.” He jumped a little when he heard your voice behind him.

“Hey, you.” He said causally, eyes still dry.

“MJ asked me to be her girlfriend last night.” You told him quietly, not wanting other people to hear. It stung Peter but he kept a smile on his face.

“Did you say yes?” He asked, the polite thing to do.

“I did.” You broke into a smile. “We’re not telling people because, you know-“

“Homophobia.” You and Peter said at the same time.

“Exactly.” You chuckled. “But I had to tell you, being my best friend and all.”

“I’m happy for you, Y/n. I really am.” Peter kept his voice steady. He was determined to mean those words one day. A sad smile appeared on your face and you looked at your hands.

“Peter, I’m so lucky to have you in my life. The conversation that we had in your bedroom meant everything to me. Thank you.” You said tearfully as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He rested his arms around your waist and hugged you, no longer the girl he was pinning after but the girl he had to let go.

“Of course, Y/n. I’m here for you.” He said as you pulled away from the hug. These words, he did mean.

“Love you.” You told him as you squeezed his hand.

“Love you more.” He smiled. He watched as you walked away, smile fading as MJ caught up to you. You wrapped your arms around her shoulders, the shoulders that bore your hoodie once again. Peter swallows thickly, suddenly feeling a chill down his spine.

That’s how it was for the rest of the year as you and MJ continued to date. You let a few more people know as the months went on. Some people were cool about it, some were not. The people who weren’t always got paid a visit from Spiderman to set them straight. Peter would watch you two together as he died inside. He was happy for you, he was. But that didn’t keep him from looking away every time you kissed her.

Flash, on the other hand, had no problem staring at you two as you gave MJ a kiss on the cheek.

“What is this? Are you two dating or something?” Flash pointed between you and her and laughed. Peter heard this conversation from across the hall, also hearing your heart speed up. If Flash knew, he’d tell the whole school, and you weren’t ready for that. Peter made his way to where you were, already seeing the terrified look on your face.

Coincidentally, Flash saw it too.

“Hey, relax. I’m only kidding.” He said softly when he noticed the scared look on your face. “I may be an asshole, but I’m no homophobe. Me and my right hand love lesbians. Isn’t that right, right hand?”

“Leave us alone Flash. Don’t you have to be disgusting somewhere else?” MJ jeered.

“Not until 4.” Flash retorted. “And I told you I was kidding. Don’t tell me you two actually together?”

“So what if they are?” Peter said as he approached Flash, pushing him back a little. “At least they know how to get girls.”

“Oh! That’s gotta burn, Parker. I’d roast you but it looks like you’ve been through enough, losing your girl to a girl and all.” Flash laughed but Peter didn’t let it affect him. “Ladies, don’t worry about this. Your secret is again weigh me. But if you ever want to get flashy, give me a call.” Flash said to you and MJ as he made his hand look like a phone before leaving.

“I hate him.” You sighed as you watched him leave.

“He’s not worth our time.” MJ reminded you as she took your hand in hers. “Thanks for sticking up for us, Parker.”

“Anytime.” Peter nodded, feeling proud of himself for getting rid of Flash.

“We have a physics lab to bs. See you around.” MJ patted his back and lead you down the hall.

“Bye Peter.” You gave him a quick hug before catching up to your girlfriend. He smiled as he watched you leave. At least that didn’t change.

“Bye Y/n. Bye MJ.” He called after you.

For the first time since you started dating MJ, Peter didn’t feel the rock in his tummy at the sight of you. He was used to seeing you in the arms of another by now, and it didn’t bother him the way it used to. It made Peter wonder if he was honest all the times he said all he ever wanted was for you to be happy. He did want you to be happy, but he wanted you to be happy with him. But Peter was different now. His outlook changed. As long as there was a smile on your face, maybe it didn’t matter who put it there.

Tag List 🏷

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[archxvxd]

Heather

Inspiration: The song Heather by Conan Gray

Pairing: Kuroo x Reader, Kenma x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Insecurity, Toxicity, my shit writing😀

Word count: 4.8k

A/N: Hiya!! Honestly not sure how I really feel about this one. It was definitely self indulgent bc I’ve been OBSSESSED with this song lately. The ending went a little different than I intended. I hope you all enjoy <33

P.S ~ I tried really hard to make this gender neutral so if I missed anything or slipped up somewhere please lmk and I’ll fix it right away!!

You still remember that night like it was yesterday. It was the 3rd of December. You were in your first year of college, Kuroo in his last. Kenma was there too. But he was being his usual quiet self and even left early that night.

You all had gotten into The University of Tokyo coming out of Nekoma. During your first year at Nekoma High, you were asked to be the manager of the boys VBC. Having played Volleyball in middle school but suffered from a knee injury your doctor advised a break from any sports, you quickly accepted, still wanting to be involved with the sport one way or another. That’s where you met the odd pair. It took you by surprise that the intimidating looking VBC captain was actually a big ol’ softy and that his best friend was none other than the quiet and antisocial setter, Kenma Kozume.

You were like their baby sibling. Always needing their protection whether you wanted it or not. Nothing much changed when the oldest graduated. He would always meet up with the 2 of you after classes, often walking you home. When it was just you left at Nekoma it was still the same thing. The two boys would meet you at the gates of school and walk you home before heading back to the campus dorms.

The day you graduated the 3 of you celebrated with a trip to Miyagi to visit your friends from Karasuno and party. A few of them had gotten into The University of Tokyo themselves and would soon become your classmates instead of rivals.

Fast forward back to December 3rd of your first semester of college. It was Thursday night. Tradition stood that you, Kenma and Kuroo always spent the afternoon/evening after a long week of classes together. You were all fortunate enough to be supported by your parents so you didn’t have to worry about part time jobs.

It was a chilly night, more so than you expected it to be. Kenma had just left, mumbling something about needing to edit and post a video to his YT channel. You and Kuroo bid the gamer a goodnight but stay out. Neither one of you were quite ready to call it a night just yet. Spending time alone with just Kuroo had always made you a bit nervous. You didn’t know why, you had known the man for almost four years now. It’s not like his company is a foreign concept to you, it was just usually accompanied by Kenma. In all honesty you really knew what it was but you never let yourself entertain the idea.

But that night was different. The moment Kenma left the whole vibe changed. The aura went from light to tension filled. You immediately began to wring your hands together as the two of you sat on a bench at the park closest to the dorms and Kuroo’s apartment. There was supposed to be a meteor shower that night. You had seen a handful of shooting stars but nothing tremendous yet. You were starting to feel disappointed after looking forward to this all month and still not getting the shower you imagined. I mean you’re an astronomy major for God’s sake. You get extra credit in 2 of your classes if you come into class next week with proof you watched the meteor shower.

You huff as another wave of shivering wracks through your body. Your shivering doesn’t go unnoticed. Kuroo has always had a sharp sense for little details and your shivering was no exception. He took a glance at you from the corner of his eye, trying to be as subtle as possible. You’re wearing a long sleeve thermal and a thin jacket.

“Baka, why didn’t you wear more layers?” Lucky for you, Kuroo, under his hoodie and thicker jacket, was wearing a thermal under a long sleeve. So he didn’t mind shedding a layer to share it with you.

You pout at the rooster haired man with a red nose and chattering teeth. “I- d-didn’t realize it w-was gonna be thi-s cold-d.”

Kuroo pulls off his old VBC hoodie that has the word “captain” and “Kuroo” right underneath written in small lettering on the breast and hands it to you. You stare at it for a moment too long. “C’mon. Take it. You need it way more than I do right now.”

You huff but take the sweater anyway. Kuroo chuckles.

“Thanks.” You mumble while taking off your jacket and pull the sweater on. It’s warm from Kuroo’s body heat and it smells of cinnamon, like him. You sigh in satisfaction as you put your jacket back on. “Thanks, Tetsu.”

“You already said that. Plus, it looks better on you than it does on me anyways.” He shrugs but the blush that creeps onto his cheeks doesn't go unnoticed by you. You’re a little stunned by his words. Sure, Kuroo has complimented you before but never on your appearance. That always seemed to be something that he steered clear of and now you know why. Your heart skips a beat before quickening from his simple yet loaded words.

You look at the large man with shining eyes and mouth slightly agape. When he looks back at you he swears the whole earth stops turning for a moment. He could cry from how adorable you look in his sweater. Practically swimming in the large piece of fabric. He doesn't know what it is about you lately, but he’s been noticing that ever since you graduated, maybe even a little before that, there was something about you that made you a constant thought in his mind. He finds himself thinking, more often than not, about how soft your lips look or how you would feel in his arms.

Those very thoughts were flooding Kuroo’s mind at that very moment in time and he realized a little too late that he had been leaning in closer to you while thoughts of you ran rampant in his distracted mind. You had noticed it. His slow descent to close the space between the two of you. The way his head dipped so that you two were eye level, the slightly glazed over look in his hazel orbs meaning he was overthinking something.

You let your voice squeak out in the form of a question. “Uh… Kuroo? What’s wrong?”

The large man snaps out of his reverie and stares shocked at just how close you are. He licks his lips, mouth suddenly feeling very dry. Then he makes a split second decision, he’s going to indulge himself and his thoughts for once. He’s going to be impulsive, not think about the possible consequences of his actions.

“Can I try something?” Kuroo’s deep voice comes out low and breathy.

Your heartbeat quickens for the second time tonight and you can’t seem to find your voice, so you simply nod your head. At your silent permission, Kuroo cradles your jaw into his large calloused hand. His face moving further to close most of the space left between your lips. You can feel his warm breath fan over your features. A nervous knot forms in your stomach but your chest is bursting with excitement.

“ ‘M gonna kiss you. That okay?” Hazel meets e/c. He patiently waits for your permission once again. You nod but the cat-like man shakes his head.”I need to hear you say that it’s okay. Please.”

You swallow the lump that’s formed in your throat and clear it away. “Yeah. I- I think I would like that, Testu.”

Kuroo didn’t need any other confirmation. He leaned in the rest of the way and your lips met. The kiss was sweet. It wasn’t long or particularly passionate. But… it was nice. His lips were slightly chapped from the cold weather but still soft and warm. He knew how to apply the right amount of pressure too, just enough to let you know his actions were meant. When it’s over you barely separate from each other. Surrounded by a cloud of your warm breath, Kuroo Chuckles.

You hum dazed, waiting for him to say something. “Didn’t realize I wanted to do that so bad. I hope that was okay?”

You steal a glance into Kuroo’s eyes. His gaze is steady and earnest. But still, somehow, something feels slightly off. “Neither did I.” You mumble in response.

The rest of that night was spent in each other’s arm stealing kisses and glances from one another. It was almost perfect.

Almost.

After that night, the two of you spent more time together alone. Kuroo would casually kiss you on the lips or even makeout with you here and there when you two were in situations where Kenma wasn’t there,when you were alone. But if Kenma was there he would keep his distance. This went on for the rest of your first year.

You let the seed of hope that was planted that first night you kissed, grow into a certain type of adoration that was held only for romantic partners. You cared for Kuroo in a much deeper way now than you had before. You had always found the large man attractive sure, but you found your other best friend, Kenma, attractive as well. You were never directly attracted to them. Until now. It felt like your attraction to Kuroo coursed through your veins and traveled throughout your entire being. Each day you spent alone with him brought you closer to thinking the two of you could be more than friends.

Second year of college was when everything changed. You and Kenma had a computer science class together. You were minoring in it. You wanted to create programs that tracked the stars and planets and you knew that if Astronomy didn’t work out, as it often didn’t, computer programming was an easy career to get into and something you actually quite enjoyed.

Lucky enough Kuroo had a class next door to yours at around the same time as you two so you all decided that you would walk to and from that last class of the day together. It was the end of the first day of classes that you saw the shift. You and Kenma were let out of class early for the first day and sat directly outside, waiting for Kuroo. His class was let out early as well so you didn’t have to wait long. You watch the students all shuffle out, eagerly awaiting the presence of your point of attraction. When his tall frame finally appears in the doorway it was accompanied by a much smaller one.

She’s smiling at Kuroo with brilliantly white and straight teeth. Her lips are full and naturally pink. Her stunning smile reaches her large blue eyes, which are sparkling with genuine interest. Her cheeks are dusted with a rosy tone, letting you know that she’s interested in Kuroo. Then you notice Kuroo. His smile is wide and there’s this look in his eyes that you’ve never quite seen before. The two stand off to the side, not even noticing the pair waiting for the dark haired student. You observe them as the girl laughs at something Kuroo said and her whole being lights up brighter than the blue sky. Your stomach drops when her hand lightly falls onto Kuroo’s shoulder and a blush creeps onto his features.

You feel sick to your stomach. How could you compete with someone like that. She was stunning, gorgeous, beyond pretty. How were you supposed to compare to someone like that? You couldn’t. There was no competition in your mind, she was miles above you and no amount of time would ever allow you to be on the same level as her.

Kenma was doing some observing of his own. He had been for the last 6 plus months. Kenma isn’t stupid and his time playing volleyball as a setter proved that he was actually very sharp and extremely observant. Kenma had seen the way you had started acting around Kuroo and it pissed him off because it was obvious that whatever was going on between the two of you, was one sided. Kuroo had no intention of taking things further with you, at least not anytime soon. But still, the large man was spending a lot more alone time with you than he had previously in your 4 year long friendship.

Kenma watched with his blood boiling as your heart began to crack and it made him want to punch Kuroo right in his face. The idiot still hadn’t noticed the two of you. He was in his own little world with this strange girl. He was totally oblivious to the shattering of one of his best friend’s hearts.

Having had enough, Kenma calls out to the rooster idiot. “Kuroo. We’re leaving. You can come if you want but I’m sick of waiting.”

Kuroo gave you two a look of shock, it was clear that he was just noticing you two for the first time since walking out of his classroom. “Ah. Uh- yeah. Just give me one sec, yeah?”

Kenma crosses his arms over his chest in annoyance but doesn’t move. You both watch as numbers are exchanged between the two classmates. Then the girl turns to the both of you. “Sorry for stealing your friend from you. I didn’t realize you were waiting for him. If I had, I would’ve cut the conversation short. Thanks for being so patient. Bye Kuroo. I’ll talk to ya later. Bye Kuroo’s friends.” With another heart stopping smile and wiggle of her fingers the stunning girl walks off.

Kuroo watches her form disappear before granting you his attention. He didn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed. He smiled widely but you noticed very quickly that he wouldn’t meet your gaze. For the rest of the day Kuroo spoke about his new friend and didn’t once look you in the eye.

Over the next few weeks Kuroo found every excuse to either bring Kenma along to hangout with the two of you or to not hangout at all. He wouldn’t shut up about the girl in his class. You had learned that her name was Heather. She was studying abroad from America but her father was born in Tokyo, Japan and lived here until he was 18 years old. So she spoke fluent Japanese with little to no accent. She was also very sweet and as much as you wanted to, you just couldn’t bring yourself to hate her.

Heather became a constant after that. She was now a friend too. Kenma got along with her but he was still reserved around her for your sake. In all honesty Kenma didn’t care for her. But he knew that she had to be special to Kuroo if he was willing to do whatever it is he did to you for this Heather girl. So, Kenma forces himself to play nice. The gamer has always had an extremely soft spot for you. He couldn’t quite explain it, he’s never been very good with emotions but he did know that you were extremely special to him.

Everything came to an all time low a few months after adjusting to life with Heather in it. You were all meeting up at Kuroo’s for a movie night. You decided to go a little early to get some things off your chest with Kuroo. You missed the friendship you had with him before everything and wanted to at least clear the air so he could stop avoiding you. You knocked on the door softly and waited a few minutes before knocking again, a bit louder this time. You heard a noise come from inside. Worried for your friend you fish out the spare key he gave you for emergencies and enter his apartment.

A big mistake. The second you enter, the whole apartment is filled with the sound of skin slapping on skin and strangled moans of Kuroo’s name falling from a familiar silky voice. Heather. They were here, in Kuroo’s apartment, having sex right before movie night. You’re frozen in place with your hand still stuck on the door handle. You’re slow to process what’s happening but the second it all settles in you feel the familiar sting of tears welling up in your eyes. You refuse to let them fall until you get the hell out of here. Quietly leaving the way you came in, you cross the threshold of Kuroo’s apartment leading to the hallway of the building. It takes everything in you not to slam the door shut. You don’t want to alert the couple that someone had heard what they were doing.

The moment you have the door shut you run. You almost make it to the entrance without encountering anyone but then you run into someone, causing you to lose your footing and fall on your ass.

“Y/N?” Kenma’s soft voice breaks through the fog of your brain.

You look up at faux blonde as you finally let the tears stream down your cheeks and neck. “Kenma-”

You sob. Unable to get any other words out you reach out to him like he’s your lifeline and he takes you in his arms. “Let’s go.” It’s all he needs to say. He leads you to his car, knowing full well that you walked here from the dorms less than a mile away. Trusting Kenma 100%, you stay silent and let him take you to wherever it is he’s going, assuming his apartment.

Your assumption is right as you pull into the familiar parking garage. You pull out your phone which has been buzzing with messages in your pocket. You check and see it’s Kuroo, Heather and Kenma in the groupchat.

You hadn’t realized while reading, Kenma had gotten out and went around the car to open your door for you. The second he sees your screen he sighs. Gently, he takes your phone from out of your grasp and tucks it into his pocket. “You don’t need to read that right now.”

He’s right of course. You’re still a mess. You have tears streaming down your face, your nose is red and runny, and your eyes are puffy and red. Your sweater sleeves are wet from rubbing away your tears. You can’t even imagine what other people would think of you if they saw you right now. Crying over a guy that was never really yours? How pathetic. You think to yourself.

Kenma tugs you out of your seat and shuts the car door behind you. The gamer doesn’t let go of your hand until you get into his apartment. Even then, he only lets go of your hand to hold you in his arms on his bed while he lets you stain his sweater with fresh tears. You’re not sure how long you stay like that but it’s dark out by the time you calm down.

Kenma was furious. At one point he began to cry himself. Words could not describe what Kenma wants to do to Kuroo for causing this. The two of them were supposed to protect you from heartbreak like this. Yet here you were sobbing, pouring your broken heart and soul out in the form of tears, because Kuroo had strung you along and tossed you aside when he’d found something he liked better.

You whimper a few times before going silent. Your face is buried in Kenma’s now very wet chest while you fist his sweater pocket. You let yourself just breathe a few times before forming coherent thoughts. The first words to stumble out of your mouth are raspy and barely audible. But Kenma hears them nonetheless.

“ ‘M sorry.” It’s slurred and you hiccup immediately afterward, drunk from the dehydration caused by your prolonged crying.

Kenma’s grip on you tightens. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

You whimper in response. He’s right of course. Logically, you shouldn’t be the one apologizing. But in your mind it was your fault for letting yourself fall for one of your best friends in the first place, when you felt- knew- nothing would come of it.

Kenma sighs sadly. “ You need to eat something. I’ll order a pizza while you take a bath. It’ll help. You can borrow one of my hoodies and a pair of underwear. I’ll wash what you’re wearing so you can put it back on in the morning. You know where everything is.”

You nod your head and slowly make your way to the bathroom. Kenma was right, funny enough, a bath is exactly what you needed in that very moment. You wash away the now crusted over salty tear stains from your eyes and cheeks and mucus stains from under your nose. Your eyes are tired and still pink rimmed and puffy but other than that, you look much better than you did when you first entered the bath. You take a moment to just relax in the steaming hot water before getting out and towel dry yourself. You wrap the towel around your body to keep your modesty and exit the bathroom. You can hear Kenma ordering food in the living room. You're thankful that he was giving you your privacy. Not even chancing the sight of you in a towel.

Luck for you, Kenma has a surplus of oversized clothes. He’s always expressed how oversized hoodies and shirts just make him feel more comfortable in his skin. You pull on a pair of Kenma’s boxer briefs and let yourself get swallowed by what you thought was a plain black hoodie. At second glance you notice the white B on the left sleeve cuff and the hood. You smile to yourself. Grateful that your longtime best friend has been so successful in life. This hoodie being a reminder of that very success.

You keep the hood up and trudge over to the living room where you find Kenma quietly sitting on the couch, hands clapped together with his cell in between them. Kenma is slouched over with his elbows resting on his knees and chin resting on his fingertips, he seems to be in deep thought. You clear your throat and Kenma’s eyes immediately shoot up to you.

“Sorry. Was just thinking ‘bout something. Pizza should be here soon. How was the bath? Made you feel better?” Kenma still seems distracted but his attention is on you.

“Yeah. The bath was nice. Thanks for letting me borrow some clothes. What were you thinking ‘bout?”

“What happened with Kuroo?” Kenma takes a deep breath almost as if he’s calming himself down. “And I don’t just mean today. I mean what’s been going on the 6 months before Heather that led to what happened today.”

You sigh. You let a few moments pass to gather your thoughts before spilling everything to Kenma. You tell him about the first night, after he had left. Then what had been happening the 6 months after. Kenma listens intently. He feels himself becoming increasingly angry with himself and with Kuroo. They both let this happen. Kuroo directly and Kenma indirectly by not saying anything.

“I thought we… I thought there was something there and then Heather just wedged her way in. I-I can’t even bring myself to hate her, Kenma.” You send the faux blonde a sad smile while smoothing your hand over your head and let it rest at the back of your head. “She’s just so sweet and perfect. She’s such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead. And that makes me feel like shit. I’m such a terrible person for feeling like that. The worst part is she hasn’t even done anything to me. It’s not her. I should be mad at Kuroo. I should hate Kuroo. But I jus-”

You breathe in a shaky and shallow breath before continuing. “I can’t. He’s one of my best friends but I feel like I'm losing him even as a friend. I get it. I get that we weren’t meant to be. I’m fine with that. The thing is he’s been acting so cold towards me ever since she came into the picture. I don’t know what to do! He won’t even let me talk to him! I went over early today because I wanted- needed to talk to him! I needed to clear the air between us! But instead I walked into his apartment and heard him having sex with Heather!” You wipe at your eyes with the sleeves of the sweater Kenma has loaned you. You become increasingly irritated with yourself. Why did this have you so worked up? You weren’t even that broken about it anymore. You truly thought you were moved on from this. But the thought of Kuroo being intimate with someone else without so much as just talking with you snapped something inside of you.

“I thought… I thought he respected me more than that. I get that I’m not even half as pretty as her. I get that I’m not as good of a match for him. I get that he’ll never be in love with me. But before whatever the fuck we had going on started, we were friends. As his friend I deserve to be respected. Right, Kenma? Am I wrong?” You feel desperation rising up from your chest like bile. Your word-vomit spewing out without reason. You’re not even paying attention to what you’re saying. But Kenma is. He’s holding on to every word like his life depends on it.

You’re ready to continue but Kenma can’t bear the thought of you voicing any more doubtful thoughts you have of yourself, so he faces you completely and carefully but authoritatively holds your face in his hands. “Ken-”

“Stop. I- just stop. Kuroo is a dumbass. We’ve known that for years. But this a new level of idiocy. And you. Stop that, stop putting yourself down. You’re the most beautiful human being I have ever laid eyes on and Kuroo is intelligently inept if he can’t fucking see that. She is not prettier than you, she is not smarter than you- Hell she’s not even as good of company as you are.” Kenma didn’t expect to be this affected by your words, but he was. He couldn’t stand the fact that you thought you were inferior to anyone because that’s not at all how he sees you.

“Kenma…” You whisper. You had never in your 4 years of knowing him hear him speak this way. He was always reserved, calm and quiet but right now he was the stark opposite. He was tugging on his hair, voice raised, and eyes wild with desperation.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. Didn’t do anything about you and Kuroo. I just let it happen. I should’ve done something or at the very least been there to support you. And god I wish I was better with words, I wish I could tell you- show you how I see you because in my eyes you’re the one that makes everyone else look inferior. You’re the one that has the brightest smile and eyes. The one that has a personality to rival.The one that I… I adore.”

Suddenly it hit you. You knew what Kenma was trying to tell you but didn’t know how to quite express it. How did you not see it? Kenma was always so kind to you and treated you with the utmost respect. To you that was just Kenma, that was who he was, but it really wasn’t. Kenma is blunt and won’t tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear. Kenma doesn’t like people but he likes you. He frequently bashes Kuroo but frequently compliments you. All the little things he does for you suddenly feel huge coming from Kenma because.... He doesn’t do that for anyone else.

You stare incredulously at your successful friend. He’s blushing and won’t meet your eyes. “Kenma- I never realized…” You laugh nervously and that catches Kenma’s attention. “ I guess I shouldn’t have been so focused on Kuroo this whole time. Am I too late? Did I mess it up?”

Kenma chuckles softly and takes your face into his hold once again, this time a lot softer. “No. You didn’t mess anything up.”

You smile genuinely for the first time in months. “Good. I might need a little more time and to speak with Kuroo, for closure, but if you're willing…” You gaze up at Kenma through your lashes silently pleading with him.

“I’ve waited for you this long, What’s a little more time?”

[enviedear]

that damn american ᵒⁿᵉ

do you respect yourself?

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in which y/n l/n meets draco malfoy on the first night of the transfer. she decides she doesn’t enjoy him much after he asks her if she respects herself.

PAIRING ⌙ draco x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 2k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four

aaaa okay first chapter i’m so excited lets just jump right in :) you should note this a modern au without voldemort.

your first thought as you exited the hogwarts express was ‘holy shit, i’m literally a sea away from my mom right now’. 

you genuinely couldn’t believe that, one, she agreed this and two, that you were here.

well, of course she agreed. so long as your brother, quinn came as well. that took a lot of convincing since he’s dead set on becoming a professional quadpot player. after the school confirmed that quadpot matches would also be held at hogwarts, he had no choice.

“i really gotta learn how to pack. this backpack is heavier than me, i’m killing my shoulders right now, y’all.” april fusses, thick southern accent dripping off her words.

“jesus christ, i can hear you complaining over my music. i didn’t sign up for conan gray featuring april everson.” sophie snides, turning the volume up.

april gives her an annoyed look and begins walking toward the carriages, you and sophie trailing after the tall girl.

“ah, are you the transfer students?” a scottish voice asks.

you look to your side and spot an older woman.

“yeah, well, some of them. i think the rest are still on the train getting their stuff.” you respond, thinking of your brother and the other remaining fifty something students.

“in that case, the three of you can go ahead and get into a carriage. but when you get to the castle, wait in the lobby please. i’ll be with you shortly.”

the three of you nod and hop onto an awaiting carriage.

“they’ve really got the whole ‘old wizarding school’ vibe down pat.” sophie says, staring at large castle.

“for real. ilvermorny seems so modern compared to this place.” you add.

“well girls, i think we should go in instead of waiting out here. i wanna see more!” april shouts, throwing her hands up at the castle and sprinting inside.

“last one in is a pukwudgie!” sophie laughs, running inside.

you roll your eyes and walk in, “sophie you are a pukwudgie.” 

the ginger shrugs, “whatever. i didn’t come up with the phrase. but check out this decor.”

you look around the castle lobby and see the numerous amounts of stone statues and portraits of old wizards. it’s vastly different from ilvermorny. your school decorates its lobby and school with art from the students, quadpot trophies, famous wands, and banners of the graduated students. it’s much more, lived in.

“i like it but it’s kinda remindin’ me of narnia,” april smirks, “wonder if i’ll meet my very own peter pevensie.”

“i’d much rather meet my very own plate of dinner. even though dad said british people can’t cook.” sophie says.

“what if they don’t have pie! as the president of the ilvermorny pie fan club, i will cause a scene if i don’t get pie.” april jokes.

“april they eat beans on toast here. i think you’re going to have to ask your mom to send you pie.” you giggle. 

the woman from earlier walks in, your fellow ilvermorny students following behind.

“ah, we’re all here,” she says, walking to the staircase in front of you. “my name is professor mcgonagall, head of gryffindor house. now, you’re all going to be sorted. the first years have just finished. and i must remind you that where ever you are sorted, you will remain. the point of this program is to have you meet new young wizards and learn about hogwarts. i understand that you had more leeway at ilvermorny choosing houses, but the sorting hat never makes a mistake. now, follow me.” 

sophie whispers to you, “i heard that the house rivalries here are enemy like.”

at ilvermorny the only real rivalry is between your house, wampus, and april’s, thuderbird. but it’s more of a sibling rivalry, no actual bad blood.

you quite enjoyed the competitiveness of your house, which you shared with your brother. the both of you loved sport, just in two different ways. he was his best out playing quadpot while you enjoyed cheering him on with the wampus cheer team. 

entering the dining hall is a wild experience. the hogwarts students are looking at all of you with a mix of impressed and curious faces. when you all reach the end of the hall mcgonagall lifts a hat from a stool and calls out a name, “taylor allen.”

you watch the horned serpent get sorted straight into ravenclaw and clap along with everyone else. the names continue on until april is called.

she smiles up on the stool and awaits the sorting hat’s decision. after a full minute the hat shouts, “SLYTHERIN!”

april looks surprised but her smile doesn’t fade as she sits down at the slytherin table.

next is your brother who seems to be basking in female attention more than the experience of the new school. you can’t blame him though, he seems to gain fans where ever he goes.

the hat barely touches his head before again, shouting, “SLYTHERIN!”

you furrow your eyebrows at this. you didn’t expect the both of them to end up in the same house, and it leaves you worried that you might be left in a house all alone. 

after more names are called, most of them going into hufflepuff or gryffindor, you hear your name.

“y/n l/n.” mcgonagall says.

you make your way to the stool, ready to hear what the hat has to say. the moment it touches your head it begins speaking, scaring you only slightly. 

‘ah, competitive like your brother and a will to succeed like your friend. you could do good in hufflepuff, you’re loyal to your core. or maybe gryffindor with that daring attitude. you’re just too complicated for that though. i know, better be, “SLYTHERIN!”

there is no way. 

you slowly walk to april and quinn, who look equally as suprised.

“now, y/n, i know we’re friends but i don’t think we’re too much alike to be getting sorted into the same house,” she looks at quinn. “you said they based this off your personality, didn’t ya?”

your brother scratches his neck, “well yeah, that’s what i thought.”

“well whatever, at least we get to be together!” you smile.

“yeah but what about sophie? it would be a bummer if she doesn’t-” april is interrupted by mcgonagall calling, “sophie yates.”

you give april a worried look and she returns it. 

sophie however looks utterly content with the tattered hat upon her ginger head. she’s got an amused smirk on her face, and throws the both of you a wink.

“SLYTHERIN!” the hat bellows.  

sophie rushes toward the table and sits beside quinn who has a bemused look on his face.

“how in the world did we get so lucky?” you laugh, grinning at your friends.

quinn sighs, “how in the world did i get so unlucky. i’ve got three snitches around me at all times now. it was bad enough being in wampus with just y/n.”

april rolls her eyes, “quinn no one is going to snitch on you. unless you pull another stunt like you did in fourth year.”

“i’ve told you like ten times! i didn’t mean to give you the damn puking potion.” he groans.

“you shouldn’t have been trying to give it to anyone. you’re lucky i only told mom. if headmistress wilma would have found out you would’ve been straight off the quadpot team.” you point.

your conversation is interrupted by a deep voice. in the front of the room behind a podium, stands an absolutely ancient man. headmaster dumbledore.

“i’m so happy to welcome our first years and our ilvermorny exchange students. i know you’ve all been waiting to eat so i’ll make this short. this is the beginning of a new school year, and i can’t wait to see what it has in store. now,” the man raises his arms, “let us eat.”

__

dinner was good. but nothing like an ilvermorny dinner. there were no burgers, quesadillas, pie, or salmon. you were going to miss all the diverse food back home, but the slytherin common room sure made up for any complaints.

the room was dark and brooding, but it somewhat reminded you of the wampus common room. instead of the windows showing a jungle, the habitat of the wampus cat, the slytherin common room is underwater.

“dude this is baller.” quinn say to his friend and fellow teammate, sebastian.

sebastian grins, “i can’t wait to take pictures down here. i bet i could make a dope album cover.”

sophie laughs, “yeah so long as you actually finish a song.”

the boy makes a face at her before walking toward the boys’ dorm with quinn.

“having them both here is going to kill me.” you say, eyes narrowed as you watch them walk up the stairs.

“oh who cares! whatever trouble they make is on them. enjoy your year y/n.” sophie says, sitting down on the green couch.

you nod and take a seat on the rug, facing her and april. by now, it’s only the three of you in the common room, everyone else flooding to the dorms.

“speaking of enjoying things, i made us all a new playlist on the train ride.” sophie smiles, pulling out her phone.

“if you put any weird shit on it like you did the last one i’m going to kill ya. there was no reason to add ‘i beat my dick today’ to a playlist with lorde on it. it was disgraceful.” april teases

you laugh and grab the phone out of sophie’s hand. you look at the playlist titled, ‘the time they went to hogwarts’, and notice it has only one song on it.

“there’s only one song soph.” you state, confused.

“exactly,” she says snatching the phone back. “we’re going to add the rest over the course of the year. i want it to tell a story.” 

“what’s the first song?” april questions.

“doin’ time by lana. because it’s still summer, we have to represent ilvermorny, and the song hits.” sophie says, drawing out the last word.

“well, go ahead and play it. we might as well break in the new common room with april’s shit dancing.” you joke, sticking your to tongue out at her.

she flips you off as sophie starts the song.

the three of you dance around the common room and sing off key, aside from sophie, who has had plenty of practice in the thunderbird choir.

you’re leaning on a desk, ‘seductively’ swaying your ass against april as sophie records the two of you, when you hear a throat being cleared.

april and you spin around, making eye contact with a tall platinum blond. 

“what in merlin’s name are you doing?” the boy sneers.

you chuckle, “dancing. why? do british people not dance?”

“of course we dance. but usually we respect ourselves while doing so,” he looks at sophie who’s still recording. “and what is that? how did you get music to come out of it?”

april’s eye bulge, “you mean the phone. honey, i knew y’all weren’t a fan of muggles but you have to be lying about not knowing what a phone is.”

the boy still looks both confused and irritated.

“and what was that little comment about respecting yourselves? are you trying to suggest something?” you say, eyes cold.

“i’m merely asking if you respect yourself. i’ve never met a decent woman who dances like that.” he snides.

“you’re a dick.” you say, simply.

“and you seem to be a bint.” he huffs,

you furrow your brows, “what the fuck is a bint?”

sophie calls from behind her phone, “i’m guessing whore from context clues.”

the boy smirks and grabs a book from the coffee table, “i’m draco. draco malfoy, and if you’d like to not be called a bint i suggest you refrain from grinding against other people in a public area.”

“well, draco malfoy, you’re a little fuck and i could care less what you call me. suck my dick.” you smile sarcastically.

you hear sophie mutter a faint, ‘worldstar’, which causes april to break out in a fit of laughter.

the boy makes one last disgusted look at the three of you before walking up the stairs.

you turn to your friends, beaming, “looks like we’ve already made a friend.”

[yuniv-bluetea]

Detective Conan : Next Generation

HeiZuha Children

It’s been over three years and my DC headcanons for the ‘Next Generation’returned,so... I have to many headcanons for DC Characters as parents and their kids.. Always excited to hear other dc headcanons by the way <3 “Come on ! Just reply already...”, she sighed as none of her childhood friends seemed to have time to look up their chat group. Feeling defeated Yume hid her phone under her pillow and went for a walk in the neighborhood since there was nothing else to do. It took Yume only some minutes to realize that it was way too hot outside. But the summers in Osaka were always like that. Sadly. I feel like I’m melting... Maybe I should pay Kazuki a visit..? Knowing her older brother he is probably at the school gym perfecting his kendo skills..not that there was any serious competition for the reigning ace of Osaka’s strongest high school kendo team. Why must life be so unfair ? If there was one thing Yume Hattori didn’t inherited from her family it was definitely their astonishing atlethic abilities. She wouldn’t be so mad, if she could at least perform the basics of aikido or kendo, but no.. she was a hopeless case. Honoka is most likely with him anyway.. Without wasting a second thought on it, Yume headed back to her home and tried not to look as if she was dying while feeling the humid air basically punch her whole body. These two.. Being already quite popular in middle school it took not long before one of Kazuki’s friends introduced him to Honoka Ujo, a new student that would not only go to the same class as him, but also live right in his neighborhood.

“Finally..”, out of breath Yume striped off her shoes and welcomed the refreshing temperature inside the house. “Is that you, Yume ?” “..Ah, Obaa-chan you’re already back from your visit to the museum ?” Preparing something in the kitchen her grandma looked effortless as always. “I am...Although I was invited to a round of cards by some other members of my book club, but then I thought I also could keep you company instead, so here I am.. “, responded Shizuka Hattori with a warm smile on her lips. Oh dear..am I that pitiful ? Sure it wasn’t unusual for Yume to be the only one at home while everyone else was at work or in her grandma and brother’s case out with friends. If her whole friend group would not live in Tokyo things would be quite different. Also if her stubborn dad and grandpas would allow her to help solve murder ca- There was no point in getting mad over that right now. “I appreciate the thought Obaa-chan ~ I’m just going to change my clothes quickly !” “Damnit..”, she whispered when see saw that nobody replied to her message. Think Yume, think... Alright, this could work ! Realizing what time it already was, she hastily picked a summer dress her grandma would approve of ,put it on and packed a small bag. Making sure that she has not forgotten anything, Yume joined her grandma in the kitchen who was unlike her not slightly out of breath. “ Change of plans, Obaa-chan ! Takumi invited me to spend the weekend in Tokyo, so let’s just pack this here”, she announced while packing the fruit sandwiches in some wooden lunchboxes “ And then I can accompany you to Iwasa-san on my way to the train station. She and the other members will surely be delighted by your tasteful treats ~”

“It’s not safe to ride a train by yourself, Yume. I would feel much better if you would let Kazuki go with you..”, her grandma explained while they were already on their way to Iwasa’s home right across the Osaka Station. “Don’t worry, Obaa-chan~ It’s not a long ride and you can reach me by phone any time !” Shizuka Hattori still wasn’t fully convinced. “Maybe I should check in with your parents before letting you go” Crap...No..Arghh.. I don’t have time for that..there has to be something else I can argue wi- There were times were life did treat Yume quite well. Reaching the Iwasa household they were welcomed by Daisuke Otaki who was about to leave. As expected of Daisuke Otaki he not only politely greeted them, but also brought their lunchboxes to the dining room. “Domo arigato Daisuke-kun”, replied Yume’s grandmother while sliding into her slippers from home as the young man was about to leave for real now. Now or never ! “Say Daisuke-kun you wouldn’t mind if we went to Tokyo together ,now would you ? I mean you probably are on your way there for your weekly ‘business meetings’ anyway so..” There was nothing in the way of Yume’s trip to Tokyo now. Because of his uncle Goro Otaki her companion was a family friend, so her grandma would certainly agree of the idea. And there was no way Daisuke could talk himself out of the situation. He was way too afraid that Yume would expose his secret regarding his weekly ‘business meetings’, not that she would ever really do that, but he didn’t want to take any risk. As soon as they sat done Yume reached into her bag and fished out her phone. Still nothing. After writing a second message announcing her suprise visit, she called Takumi to make sure he knew about his part in her plan. It took a while before Yume got hold of him. “I’m really sorry for not answering sooner, but Obaa-chan dragged me to a casting for a commercial and it’s been-” “Don’t worry about it ! ....Please don’t be mad, but I may be on my way to Tokyo right now and might have indicated that you have invited me there for the weekend..” “...” “ I already informed Hikaru and Mamoru over our chat group about my visit, they will surely read it ...sooner or later, but just so you know if you or your parents would get a call from someone of my family..” “Which will be definitely the case” “ Yeah..I don’t know why they are recently so overprotective..” “It’s not like our families attract dead bodies or serial killers..” A small giggle escaped Daisuke’s mouth who was reading a magazin. Yume couldn’t hold back a smile herself. “Totally not..So, see you in Tokyo ?” “You’re lucky that I have such a big heart ~ I will try to call Hikaru later - OHH..Obaa-chan looks mad..Have to go- !”

Finishing her book it just came in handy that they reached their destination. “Arigato Daisuke-kun for helping me out today”, said Yume as they walked out of the train station. Daisuke just waved aside her gratitude. He probably feels like I used him..which I technically kind of did “It’s nothing,glad I could help you”, he replied politely . “Your friends will pick you up soon ?” Yume nodded and tried to think about something that she could say that would make Daisuke less mad at her. But before Yume could even blink, Daisuke said goodbye and disappeared in the crowd. That went well.. She quickly wrote her grandma a message that she arrived in Tokyo and put her phone back in her bag. With a big smile on her face Yume dived into the ocean of people. This is going to be such a fun weekend ! Yume couldn’t know at that time that this weekend would be special...

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

[shelling4869ford]

Patchwork

Hello my dear @deducingcircumference  I was your @dcmksecretsanta​ this year! I decided to go for your idea about the Mori family, I really hope you’ll like it! I had fun writing it, even though it was a lot harder than I thought. I’m sorry that I wasn´t able give it to my beta before, I’ll repost it once it’s corrected. Still, I hope you’ll like it! Have am merry, healthy and nice Christmas and a happy new year!

~ Shelling

Patchwork

 He should have known better.

These past day’s the doorbell had only caused him trouble and pain.

Why had he even believed that it would be different this time?

Megure however, couldn’t care less for Kogoro’s grumpy face.  

“His parents are still dealing with the FBI and the Professor has his own little problem right now. He can´t stay in the police department any longer, it would only raise further suspicions.” Megure swallowed, that was something he really didn´t want to deal with, on top of everything right now. However, he wasn´t sure if this really had been the best idea.

His former college looked at him like he’d gone crazy.

“So, you dump him here of all places?” Mori growled, didn´t care about his tone, while he spoke with his former boss. Megure sighed, looking behind his shoulder where the “boy” had only filched beneath Kogoro’s  voice. The officer rolled his eyes, he’d been through this question before, even though it had been the asked in a much higher voice.

The officer took a deep breath and shook his head.

“He’s in no condition to help right now, and neither are you.”

“I have to go back to the hospital! I need to-“  

“You have to wait until visiting hours tomorrow.” Megure interrupted Kogoro’s argument.

He sighed, placing a hand on the man’s shoulder.

“I know you’re worried Mori-kun, but there’s nothing you can do for her right now, but you can take care of one another.” Megure swallowed, finally taking a step aside to reveal the grad schooler who’d been hiding behind his legs.

Kogoro took a sharp breath and despite his anger he could feel something inside him stirring at the sight of the “boy”.  However, the detective desperately tried to ignore it, it couldn´t be more than the rising bile in his throat, looking at the lying freeloader.

Conan- or rather Shinichi Kudo didn´t dare to look up. At least the kid seemed to have a little bit of a conscience left. Kogoro knew what happed and why, after his kids – kid- his lovely Ran had gone missing, the truth had slowly come to light. And now Co- Kudo was standing here, asking him to take him in for the night, while his little baby girl was still in the hospital. Alright, she wasn´t frighting for her life- at least not when he believed in the doctor’s words, but she still wasn´t waking up, since a heavy blow to the head, while  tried to help…him. 

The one who had lied to them for over a year, who used them and ignored her tears, being here and safe and fine, while she was still in medical care.

Well fine might have been a little exaggerate.

Actually, he looked more like death warmed over, after he destroyed a whole criminal organization. Even through the brat didn´t dare to look him in the eyes he could see that they where bloodshot, with dark circles beneath them, seeming even deeper due his pale complexion. His hand’s where bandaged, his glasses where broken and a little voice inside Kogoro wondered why no one had told him to put them down. Damn! Couldn´t they see that it was dangerous, the boy could easily lose an eye when the glass- ah but why should he care, he didn´t that’s for sure.

Mori bit his lips and shook his head while his gaze traveled down the boy’s legs, one being places in a walking cast to stabilize it, but even if he tried to hide it, Kogoro could still see that the kid was in pain, clearly favoring his left leg.

“Alright…” Megure’s tone ripped him from his analysis.

“I’ll leave the two of you alone now…” The officer tired to catch the boy’s eyes, but the shrunken detective who’d surprised them all didn´t dare to rise his galnce. So Megure briefly placed a hand on the kid’s shoulder. He was about to leave when he stopped close enough to Kogoro, to make one last request in a low voice.

“… and Mori-kun,… he’s already broken, so please try not to hurt him further.” Kogoro took a sharp breath, ready to protest when his eyes shifted back to the silent child in front of him.

‘Damn right he is.’ A voice inside him seemed to scream, while he watched Megure disappear at the end of the stairs. He couldn´t believe what the man was asking of him, after everything. He grumbled, but when his eyes reached the bruised body of the kid again, he couldn´t help but frown at the slight tremble in the little clenched fists.

Kogoro could feel the emotions inside him shift, putting pressure on his chest. He desperately wanted to believe that it was just anger he felt, but he knew that there was something else hiding in it’s mist. It couldn’t be guilt or worry- even through the boy had lived with them for so long, it wasn´t his job to protect him, he wasn´t his father aft all.

But yet-

“I’m sorry..” the soft voice froze him on the spot, but it where his next word’s or rather the name the boy used that finally brought him back to reality.

“I’m truly sorry Mori-san.”

Right.

Conan = Kudo

Not foster son, but little lying bastard.

He had to remember that.

The boy swallowed, finally finding the courage to look up, but Kogoro had already turned his back to him, climbing the stairs. Shinichi bit his lips, trying again, but Mori stopped him before he could finish his sentence.

“I-“

“Don´t, I don´t want to hear it.”

Mori hissed, taking the last steps to their- to his home and closed the door behind him.

XXX

The beer tasted foul.

It was his first that day- alright his third, but the first one since Megure had dumped the little freeloader at his doorstep. Being kicked out from the hospital, had left him with the urge to drink, to fill his mind with cotton so that the reality would drift far away. But he denied himself to be numbed by alcohol, he had to remain sharp if the hospital called, so he instead called his wife to update her. However, it seemed Eri had already known and of course this woman believed in the nurse words, that she would be alright, that there was no actual damage to her brain and that she simply was exhausted. Exhausted, his Ran, strong and brave, exhausted to the bone. He couldn't believe it, he wished he could, but the fear of losing her filled his mind with cruel pictures.

And it was all his fault.

"Damn brat..." he growled, taking another sip from his stale beer. Days ago he'd been worried when the boy had suddenly disappeared, he couldn't deny it... Since the not-child had been living with them for little over a year now. Of course, he wasn't found of him, he didn't care... why would he? Conan wasn't his son, nope, no way he dared to think of him as his own flesh and blood.

But he couldn´t help to admit that he’d been worried about the boy, before the constructure of lies slowly crumbled around him, he’d struggled to believe it in the beginning, the brat being that high school detective, hiding under their roof all those times.

“And I didn´t even notice, the great detective Mori… pff…”

Kogoro sighed, his eyes wandered from his beer to the clock, before they moved to the front door, which he might have left slightly ajar, by pure accident of course. It nearly been three hours since Megure had dropped Kudo here and he couldn´t help but wonder what the boy might be up to.  But why should he care anyway? It’s not like the great “Shinichi Kudo” wasn’t able to take care of himself, he could be lucky that he hadn´t thrown him out. However….

The sleeping detective chewed on his mustache, they way the kid had looked it would only be responsible to make sure he’s fine, besides so he could make sure that the boy wasn´t messing with his case files- Yes! That was it! He had to make sure that everything was still in place and the kid wasn´t messing up his work.  With that thought Kogoro nodded to himself, rising from his seat before he headed for the stairs.  

The office was dark, but the door was closed now and he was sure he left it open when he’d turned his back to Kudo. Could it be- that he’d left?

With a frown on his face the detective stepped into his agency, still no sigh of live, or of the boy, everything seemed to be like he left it. Kogoro was on his way to his desk, when he finally spotted the little boy on one of the two sofa’s he normally used to talk to his clients.

Conan – no Kudo was asleep, but it didn´t seemed to be a peaceful rest. Mori swallowed, he knew that sigh, the kid was having a nightmare. Not the first he was about to whiteness, but now that he knew that he wasn´t a mere child, shouting his, or most of the time Ran’s name at night he couldn´t help but wonder.

Kogoro barely knew Shinichi, especially since his separation with Eri they hadn´t met the Kudo’s quite so often, before they left Japan. What he knew was, that the boy had a bad influence on his daughter, not to mention that he’d hurt her, disappearing just like that, leaving her in the dark, lying to her while he was right beside her all this time. So maybe it was the kid’s own conscience hunting him at night. But the way the boy tossed and turned in his sleep told him that there was more to it.

The detective made a face when the child suddenly yelped in his sleep, twisting his bruised body around without much care. Kudo was facing him now, even though he was still asleep. Kogoro’s hand twitched, in the attempt to rip the broken glasses from his face, before it could hurt him any further.

With a sigh he took a step towards the boy, slowly shaking his shoulder, even if his voice wasn´t as soft as it normally was, when he tried to wake the brat from one of his nightmares.

“Oi! Co- Kudo-kun! Wake up!” But like so many times before the touch on his shoulder only seemed to stress the little one even more. Conan twisted and turned in his sleep, not caring for his obvious bruised body. Kogoro’s throat grew tight, it was hard not to pick the child up to carry him into his bed, while muttering some calming thoughts into his ears.

“It’s just a dream.” He told him instead, trying to reach for the boy again, but when Kogoro’s fingers touched him, the boy flinched away from his touch, jerking backwards so that his already bruised shoulder hit the back of the couch.  Mori gasped when new blood seemed to break through the bandages and his shirt, all caution forgotten he bent down to the kid, cradling his upper body in his arms, while Conan still struggled in his touch.

“Hey don´t, you’ll just hurt yourself further!” The detective hissed, before he pulled the boy closer to himself, brushing some grime from his forehead.

“It’s alright… easy, Conan-kun.” His voice was gentle now and finally his breath grew even and he stopped to struggled in his arms.

“Come on now, wake up, everything’s alright.”  Kogoro assured the child, who finally stirred one hand searching for the man’s sleeves. He blinked with eyes still heavy from sleep and the nightmare, before he murmured something that made Mori’s chest grew warm and tight at the same time. “O-Othosan…”

Kogoro took a sharp breath, it wasn´t the first time the brat called him that by accident, but while he usually tried to ignore his fluttering heart as well as the words, when he put the kid back to sleep he couldn´t help but feel like he’d been frozen to the spot, unsure what to do. The boy suddenly looked not only broken but also even more tiny and vulnerable in his hands. Luckily the shrunken detective came to his senses before Kogoro had to decide what to do.

Conan blinked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, but hissed when he moved his shoulder. Kogroro could actually see how he finally caught up with the situation, struggling out of his arms, with the hint of a red on his cheeks.

“Ojisan… huh- ah um Mori-kun.”

There back to normal.

Kogoro took a breath in relive, before he eyed the boy, who still looked up at him. The detective rose and eyebrow, taking a step away from the child both of them ignoring what just happed. He cleared his throat, looking down at the brat.

“What do you think you’re doing here?”  He grumbled, but the boy blushed again, blinking in surprise before he seemed to search the answer on the floor.

“Uh- sleeping?” Mori raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Well boya, but not in my office.” Conan flinched, but Kogoro already took a step towards the door.

“Come on, get up.” The grad schooler obeyed, but Shinichi wasn´t sure if he was supposed to leave or just supposed to follow. But his doubt should soon be answered by Kogoro’s annoyed voice.

“What you’re waiting for?” The older detective asked, opening the door before he nodded upstairs.

“I-uhm, I’m coming.” 

Conan hurried up the stairs as best as he could and he could sense that it took Mori some strength not to hurry or maybe even carry him. But when he finally entered the place he’d called home for so long he took a deep breath, only now getting aware that he’d in fact missed it. But Kogoro cleared his throat pointing to their small dining table.

“Here sit down, I’ll see If I can prepare you something to eat.”  

“But you don`t have to!” Shinichi assured, while Mori just rolled his eyes, disappearing in the kitchen, almost shouting from the other room to answer the ridiculous request of the boy.

“Apparently I do since your folks still dealing with this secret organization and Megure decided to dump you here.” The grad schooler winced but the detective was too busy in the kitchen to notice.

“Besides, when was the last time you’ve eaten something?” Kogoro questioned, when he entered the living room again. He looked at the bruised boy, who looked more dead than alive on his feet.  

“I- uh-“ But the growl of his stomach answered for him.

Conan – Shinichi – the brat, jeez he still had trouble with that, just blushed when his stomach growled in protest of the lie that he was about to tell him.

“I see.”

Conan finally sat down at the table, staring holes into it, it just didn´t feel right, Mori should be fuming in anger at him, not trying to take care of him. However, the boy didn´t notice that Kogoro had moved behind him, before he took the broken glasses form his face. Honestly if he had to see the shade of glass nearly piercing the boy’s eyes any longer he would go crazy.  

“I’ll take these for a while- since you apparently don´t need them.” Mori told him, but when he finally looked down at the kid without the simplest of all disguises, he couldn´t help but wonder what a fool he’d been. How could he not have notice how much the brat looked like the annoying high school detective.

Kudo seemed to notice the eyes on the sleeping detective on his skin and took a shivering breath.  

“Oji- I mean Mori-kun, I’m-“ But Kogoro cut in between his sentence with a sigh and the shake of his head, before he could continue.

“I know… that’s not what you planned to happen.” The detective muttered, while he moved into the kitchen where a very familiar chirm told him, that the brat’s food was ready. He returned with the food and put it on the table with a little bit more force than necessary.  

“Yet I can´t believe that you thought that Ran, that we would be safe with you living under our very roof.” He growled, while Shinichi just seemed to be sinking deeper into his seat.

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing kid, I know why you did it and…” He remembered the nightmare, as well as the others before, Conan seemed to read his thoughts since he moved his gaze away from him.

“I know it might have not been easy at times, but I’m still angry at you, and my poor Ran-“

The name alone however, was enough to move Conan’s eyes back to the older detective.

“Any news? About Ran I mean.” The detective swallowed at the despair in the kid’s voice.

“She’ll been fine, she’s just exhausted and needs some rest.”

“What? R-Really?” Conan’s voice was high pitched, he looked at the detective in disbelieve.  Kogoro suppressed a chuckle, and the urge to ruffle the kid’s hair who suddenly looked like the child he was supposed to be, with big shining eyes.

“ Yeah and now don´t worry and eat.”

Conan took a breath in relive before he turned his attention to the “meal” Kogoro had prepared for him- or rather microwaved. A cup of ramen, something he hoped to be rice and he wasn´t sure if the last of the three dishes was a hot chocolate or some kind of sauce.

Apparently Kogoro noticed the kid’s stare, raising an eyebrow at the obvious hesitation.

“What?” Conan flinched, but after a short hesitation Shinichi decided to answer.

“Ah- nothing, nothing… I just- sometimes wonder how you and Kisaki-san survived before Ran took up to cooking.” Shinichi teases with the hint of a smirk on his face.

“Wh- you ungrateful little brat!” Kogoro grumbled.

“Besides, you can be thankful that it was me who put in the Microwave instead of Eri.” The detective added in a lecturing tone.  

“True, otherwise you’d serve me coal.” The older detective smirked, before he remembered that he was supposed to be angry with the brat, so he turned the kid’s head back to the food.

“Pff… now eat- we’re going to the hospital early tomorrow and I need to check that shoulder of yours.”

“It’s fine.” Conan muttered between a spoon full of ramen, but Mori just snorted.

“After everything that happened to you, I Wonder If you even understand the meaning of this word.”

“Oi!” But after a brief glare Shinichi did like he was told, while Kogoro searched his medical cabinet for some new bandages and pain medicine for the size of the boy.

 XXX

 Kogoro took a long shaky breath, he leaned against the cold metal back of the elevator, as he watched how the floor numbers slowly counted higher.  He’d already called early this morning, nothing new, Ran was still sleeping but they expected her to wake any moment now… was that what he was supposed to hear for the rest of his life? Mori felt panic rising in his throat, sure the Doctors told him that she would be find, but he couldn´t help but worry.

The detective bit his lips, his fingers were itching for a cigarette and one glance at the little boy (who still looked kind of creepy without the familiar glasses) told him that Co- Kudo was nervous as well. Even through, he tried to hide it, Kogoro could tell from the tension in his body and his stern gaze to the floor that the kid was freaking out inside. To be honest, even without the bangs beneath his eyes the boy looked pale since they arrived her, with his bandaged hands and the cast he looked more like he should have his own bed in this establishment. After he changed the bandages on his shoulder yesterday, Kogoro had felt sick to the bone when he saw how many scratches and bruises littered the child’s tiny frame.  

 The elevator chirmed suddenly, ripping Mori from his thoughts, when they finally reached the right floor. However, when the door finally opened the detective was met by a familiar face.

“Mori-kun!” A young nurse offered him a welcoming smile.

“Miruna-san, good morning.” Kogoro tried for a smile as well, even though it was a little embarrassed, after his behavior yesterday. But she seemed to ignore the fact that he’d cried, shouted and wept some more in her presence, while she’d reassured him over and over that his daughter was going to be fine. Instead, she focused her attention on the little boy beside him.

“Nice to meet you again! And this must be your son you’d been so worried about yesterday?” She leaned down to the child, offering her hand and a charming smile.

“You must be Conan-kun, right? You shoudln´t disappear like that, your dad was rather worried about you.”

“Uh- he was?”  He looked up to the old man, who deliberately turned his attention away from him, but the redness on his cheeks revealed her words to be true. Shinichi blinked in surprise, still staring up at Kogoro, who cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Well- we should go now.”

“Oh sure, sure! You must be worried about your Neechan, right?” She ruffled his hair and Mori could see how the boy fell back to his old act, smiling brightly at her while Kogoro wondered how the arrogant brat he’d known, had learned to endure such a treatment. But the young nurse didn´t notice the frown on the detective’s face, when she turned back to him.

“She should wake every minute now, her heartrate is higher now, maybe you’ll be able to wake her.” Kogoro nodded.

“Thank you.” She smiled and took their place in the elevator.

“yYu’ll see everything will be alright!”

Mori took a deep breath moving forward to find Ran’s room before Conan’s voice stopped his movements.

“So, you’ve been searching for me?” The boy’s face showed a grin, but his eyes revealed his doubt.

“Don´t get the wrong idea, brat.” Kogoro huffed, rolling his eyes before moving forward.

“Come on, let’s go.”

Shinichi followed Kogoro through the hospital hallways, struggling to keeping up with him, with his short legs and the damn cast.

When Kogoro finally entered his girl’s room he took a relieved breath to see that Ran was indeed fine, even though still asleep. He moved to stand beside her, taking her hand in his own feeling her warm skin beneath his. It took him a few minutes to notice that the boy seemed to be frozen in the doorway, staring at Ran’s sleeping face and the beeping heart monitor beside her.

The detective swallowed, horror was written in the boy’s face and he remembered his first visit to the hospital after he’d shot Eri. He took a deep breath, moving over to the boy, who only noticed him, when he put a hand on the slim shoulder.

“Oi, what’s wrong.”

“I- I-“ The boy stuttered, his body tense beneath his grip.

“Come…” Kogoro assured him, pushing him slowly into the room.

“It’s going to be fine.”

Conan followed him beside the bad, but still keeping his distance, while the worried father slowly brushed a strand of hair from her forehead.

“Ran…”

Both of their hearts skipped when they saw how Ran twitched beneath Kogoro’s fingers, before her eyes slowly fluttered open.

“Oh- Othosan?” Her voice was weak, as she slowly tried to push herself a little more upright in the bad.

“Ran! You’re awake!” Kogoro exclaimed, almost shouting, before he put his arms around his daughter, holding her close before he moved away from her again, to take a closer look at the high schooler.

“How do you feel? Is everything alright? Should I get you a glass of water- or a doctor or-“ Ran chuckled. “I’m fine Othosan!” But her gaze moved from her father to the little boy beside the bad, who didn´t dare to look up at her.

“Shinichi… Conan-kun.” A sad smile moved to her lips, while the boy’s voice was barely more than a whisper, when he finally found the courage to look up.

“Ran… I-“

But Kogoro was not having any of that right now.

“Oh enough of that!” He cut through the suddenly awkward tension.

“You two can talk later and if you want to rip his head of Ran, I’d advise you do it later, since it wouldn’t make much of a difference right now.” He’d advice, earning protest form the boy beside him. “Oi!”

But Kogoro simply ignored him, grabbing the kid from the floor to pull both of his children in a thigh hug. “For now I’m glad the two of you are alright!”

“Othosan!”

“Ojisan!”

But Mori just grinned and the two started to laugh as well, as broken as they all might be, patched up and together, they made a strange but good family.

[allthingsfangirl101]

Wish I Were Heather–Zac Efron

Inspired by the song, Heather by Conan Gray

Dating a famous actor is tough. Now, dating him in secret is just sheer torture. Everyone, literally everyone, has an opinion about who he should be with and who would look great on his arm. And I am not even close to them. They are all beautiful, famous, rich, dropped-dead gorgeous women. I'm just average.

The recent girl that fans want Zac to start dating is his costar, Heather Manning. She's a rising star who started off as a model. She had a few cameos in tv shows at first, but her career shot off from there.

Anything anyone can talk about is Zac Efron and Heather Manning. People are obsessed with the leaked set photos that have been released. They love how the two look together.

Zac's fans think I am just his friend who is always around. They actually hate me. They think it's annoying that I follow him around, not doing anything. When asked, he tells people that I am his lifelong best friend who moved to LA with him.

They don't know that we've actually been dating since before his career. It all started junior year of high school. I had been studying so much for my AP test, ACT, and SAT that I got sick and ended up fainting in the middle of class.

Zac rode with me to the hospital and sat next to me every day I was there. When I was released, he was at my house 24/7, constantly around me to make sure I was taking care of myself. About a week after it happened, I asked why he refused to leave my side. That's when he admitted his feelings for me and I confessed mine for him.

In the first few months of his career, we had a long-distance relationship. The second I graduated high school, I went to LA to live with him. We talked about it and agreed to keep our relationship a secret from all of Zac's fans.

It was actually Zac's idea. He hadn't wanted his fans to try and get in the way of us or try and influence us. He wanted our relationship to be just that; us. Even though I agreed to keep our relationship a secret, it was hard. Everywhere I turned, someone was hitting on Zac, asking him out, or trying to get him to ask them out.

I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but of course it did. After a while, it started to get to me. It's exhausting trying to act like it didn't bother me. Zac is a famous actor and I'm just me.

I got a degree online in marketing, but I don't do anything with it. All I do is sit at home and do random chores around the apartment while I wait for Zac to come home.

I still remember, Third of December, Me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you, Only if you knew, How much I liked you.

"Hey, babe." I looked away from my book to see Zac walking in the door.

"Hi," I said softly. I put my book down and pulled my legs under myself as he walked over and sat next to me.

"How was your day?" He asked, reaching over and putting his hand on my knee.

"It was fine," I said under my breath as I looked away.

"Hey," he said gently. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, not even convincing myself. I sighed as I looked back up at him. "What?" I asked when I saw the way he was smirking at me.

"You're wearing my favorite sweater," he chuckled as he scooted closer to me and put my feet on his lap. I smiled as he rubbed my calves.

"I was cold," I shrugged. He laughed as he leaned over and pressed his lips to mine in a short, gentle kiss.

"Well," he said when he broke the kiss. "It looks better on you anyway."

                       * * * * *

But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than a blue sky. She's got you mesmerized. While I die

"They just sent me the trailer for my new movie. Wanna watch it?" Zac asked as he laid his head down on my lap and propped up his phone. I sighed as he pressed play.

I tried to be supportive and watch it, but it was too painful. Instead of watching the trailer, my eyes never strayed from Zac. It was hard to watch the smile on his face.

"So," he laughed as he sat up when the trailer ended. "What did you think?"

"I love it," I smiled through the pain. "It's going to be an amazing movie."

Zac turned towards me and grabbed my hands, intertwining our fingers. "Babe, you know that this is just for show, right? I mean. . . It's just for the movie."

"I know," I laughed it off. "We already talked about it before you started filming. I know that every cute moment, every kiss is just for the movie. I trust you, Zac."

"Damn, I love you," he laughed as he leaned over and pressed his lips to mine.

Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater. It's just polyester, but you like her better Wish I were Heather

I broke the kiss when the image of Heather kissing Zac was stuck in my head. I smiled as I leaned back and grabbed my book. He watched me for a second before turning his attention back to his phone.

I have been supportive of Zac and his career through every moment, but it's getting harder. Watching the love of my life on screen with a beautiful actress was torture. It just reminded me that I wasn't anywhere near to being part of his league.

                       * * * * *

Watch as she stands with Her holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, Now I'm getting colder.

I smoothed out my dress, trying to wipe away the nerves. Zac walked into the front room and smiled. "Wow," he chuckled. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks," I blushed as I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I smoothed out my dress again, looking down at my feet.

"Nervous?" He smirked as he walked over and grabbed my hands.

"Always," I chuckled. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

"It's going to be okay," he smirked when he broke the kiss. "Besides, I'm the one who should be nervous. I bring you along with me so you can keep me calm."

The whole drive to his premiere, my stomach was in knots. The idea of constantly being around my secret boyfriend and the girl I've been secretly comparing myself to made me sick.

We pulled into the theater and everything happened as if someone was fast-forwarding through the night. We walked the red carpet, but when we got to the paparazzi, he was taken away from me. They didn't want pictures of us. They wanted pictures of Zac and Heather.

I stood to the side, my arms wrapped around myself as I watched them take pictures. The more poses they went through and the closer they seemed to get together, the lower my stomach dropped. When it got too much, I turned on my heel and walked inside.

                       * * * * *

But how could I hate her? She's such an angel But then again, kinda wish she were dead. As she walks by, What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than a blue sky. She's got you mesmerized, While I die.

The entire time we watched his movie, my heart was in my stomach. I found it incredibly hard to watch Zac on-screen fall in love with a girl ten times prettier than me.

I know how much my boyfriend loves me. I know he would never cheat on me or hurt me. I know I was being insecure, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was the off-brand version of Heather Manning.

Zac's new movie, The Lucky One, is based on the book written by Nicholas Sparks. Zac plays Logan Thibault, a US Marine who finds a photograph of a young woman while serving in Iraq. He carries it around as a good luck charm, and later tracks down the woman, Heather's character, Beth.

Watching Heather act was almost bewitching. I say almost because it's as painful as is it bewitching. I fought the tears as long as I could, but the longer I watched the man I'm in love with fall in love with another woman, the harder it got.

The tears finally started streaming down my cheeks as the movie came to an end. As Zac's and Heather's characters lived "happily ever after", I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my bag and ignored Zac's questioning look as I ran out of the theatre.

                       * * * * *

Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater. It's just polyester, but you like her better. I wish I were Heather

"Y/N?!" Zac called out as he ran out of the theater following me. "Stop. Please!"

I froze but didn't turn around. I wrapped my arms around myself as I waited for Zac to speak up.

"Babe," he said, his voice barely audible. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing," I stuttered.

"Y/N, come on," he sighed. "You've been acting kind of weird the past couple of weeks. Months, really. Talk to me, Y/N. Please? What's going on?"

"I can't do this," I whispered, more to myself than to him.

"What?" Zac asked, the annoyance building in his voice. "Just talk to me, Y/N. What's going on?"

"I can't do this anymore, Zac!" I yelled as I turned around. He froze when he saw the tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Y/N," he said softly, my name getting caught in his throat. "What are you. . ."

"All I hear about every day is which beautiful actress your fans want you to be with, what girls are worth your time, and what kind of girl should make you happy. And guess what! I'm not even close to any of them."

"Y/N," he tried to interrupt, but I didn't let him.

"And the worst part is that I agreed to this!" I laughed sarcastically. "We talked about it and both agreed to keep us a secret. But I wasn't. . ."

"Y/N," he tried again.

"I didn't know how hard this would be, Zac," I said, not skipping a beat. "Because it's incredibly hard. Keeping us a secret is emotionally draining and exhausting. I love you, Zac but. . . I don't know how much longer I can do this."

"Y/N, please," he said desperately. "We don't have. . ."

I shook my head, the tears no longer streaming down my cheeks as I slowly walked away from him. "You should be with Heather or someone like her. . . Not me."

"Y/N, what are you talking about?" Zac asked, running his hands through his hair. "Just. . . Slow down, okay? Can we sit down and talk about this?"

"No," I said, taking another step back. "This has been going on too long, Zac. And you know it. I can't. . . I'm not good enough for you. You deserve a beautiful actress or a model. And I'm not like that. I'm average. I don't even have a job."

"So?" He scoffed. "I don't care about that! We've known each other all of our lives, Y/N. And you aren't average. You're my best friend, the love of my life. Besides, I don't want some girl who's looking for her next big career move. I want someone who really knows me. I want you."

"Zac, please just stop," I said, my voice getting caught in my throat. "Why would you ever want me?"

"Why wouldn't I want you?" Zac laughed awkwardly but stopped when he saw the look on my face. "Y/N, baby, please. . ."

I shook my head as I took a few steps back. Before he could say anything or do anything, I turned on my heel and left.

                       * * * * *

I was laying down on our couch, my knees up to my chest. There were dried tears on my cheeks as I numbly watched the tv. I wasn't sure what I was watching or what was happening, but I didn't care.

I sucked in a breath when I heard the lock click and the door open. I resisted the urge to look at Zac as he walked in.

"Hey," he whispered. "I'm kind of surprised you're still up."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him take off his suit jacket and drape it over the Lazyboy. I bit my lip as he sat on the couch by my feet. I heard Zac sigh before laying down and pulling me into his chest. He spooned me, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Can we please talk?" He whispered. I shrugged, knowing my voice would fail me. Besides, I said everything I had to say back at the theater.

"I had no idea that this was so hard on you," he sighed. "If I had known. . . I'm so sorry, babe. I should've known that keeping us a secret would be hard on you. But I. . . Damn, I've been really selfish, haven't I? I've been a horrible boyfriend," he whispered, rubbing his hands up and down his face. "I've been selfish and. . . I haven't. . ."

I finally looked at him when he sat up, but he didn't look towards me. Instead, he stared straight ahead, probably overthinking all of this. And that made me feel guilty.

"I am so sorry, Y/N." He shifted more towards me and grabbed my hands. "Things are going to be different. I promise. I am going to announce that we are dating, living together, everything. I am going to set up an interview to only talk about you. I'm going to take some time off so we can spend more time together. I'm so sorry I've been horrible to you."

"Zac," I said gently, interrupting him.

He stopped talking and waited for me to continue. I smiled as I reached up and cupped his cheek in my hand. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He deepened the kiss by wrapping his arms around me, pulling me closer to him.

He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine. "I'm so sorry," he repeated. "So so sorry, babe. I should've. . . And I. . . I'm sorry."

"Hey," I said, leaning back so I could look at him. "I love you."

He smiled, looking as if he was relieved. "I love you too, Y/N. I'm so sorry."

"So you've said," I teased him. "Besides, I agreed to keep us a secret. I should've talked to you sooner instead of running out of your premiere. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said instantly. There was a brief moment of silence before Zac asked, "So. . . We're okay? I mean. . ."

I laughed as I cupped his cheek in my hand. "Of course we're okay. I love you, Zac. Always have, always will."

"I love you too," Zac whispered as he leaned in and pressed a short, gentle kiss to my lips. "Besides, why would I want Heather when I have you?"

Heather tried to kiss me. She's not even half as pretty. Yes, I gave her my sweater, But it's just polyester. And I like you better. I don't care for Heather.

[jack-antonoff]

get to know me tag

tagged by @njaems

tagging: anyone who wants to do it!

What day is your birthday? July 20th

What is your favorite color? Mint green, and pastel pink as a close second

What’s your lucky number? 24. Vietnamese students get assigned a number each year and mine typically was 24

Do you have any pets? A mixed hound pup named Ginny 

How tall are you? 158cm / 5′2 :(

How many pairs of shoes do you own? ~ 9-10 I think

Favorite song? I have too many but Such Great Heights by The Postal Service always make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside so maybe that song?

Favorite movie? Clueless. Emma is my favorite Austen book and both Clueless & Emma (2009) are my go-to comfort movie/ show (my url when I first became active on tumblr was knightley-woodhouse haha)

Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who I can banter well with 

Do you want children? I think I would like to adopt one someday? Pregnancy/ giving birth scares the shit out of me but I think I might wanna have children

Have you ever got into trouble with the law? Nope

Baths or showers? Showers. I just don’t have enough patient for a bath though ngl those bubble bath/ bath bombs do seem alluring

What color socks are you wearing? None

What type of music do you like? Well the 4 playlist that are divided by genres on my Spotify are: bubblegum bops, infectious indie, alternative anthems, and grungy gems. I also have a playlist called ethereal for dreampop/ shoegazey songs. I do have an rnb playlist but I’m still organizing that one so it’s not public yet

How many pillows do you sleep with? 2. One to lay my head on and one to hug

What position do you usually sleep in? On the side, hugging my pillow like a shrimp

What you don’t like when you’re sleeping? When sleeping with others it’s the sound of snoring. When sleeping alone it’s the sound of mosquitoes/ flies/ bees zooming around. So I guess just noise in general

What do you typically have for breakfast? When I stay with my mom she cooks traditional Vietnamese breakfast like noodles or rice. When I’m on my own during the school year it’s typically just toast/ cereal/ granola bar

Have you ever tried archery? Nope, it looks cool tho!

Favorite fruit? Vietnam has this fruit called sapodilla that is super delicious but I can’t find it here. I also like dragonfruits, watermelons, mangoes, cherries (Basically sweet fruits) 

Favorite swear word? Can’t go wrong with fuck. A classic. Fuck off and Get fucked are my go-to

Do you have any scars? Not anymore. I got run over by a motorbike in elementary school and got 3 scars on my stomach but they all faded now

Are you a good liar? Not really. But since I’m a bad liar I typically tell the truth, which ends up making ppl trust me during the rare times I lie :p

What is your personality type? Well I got a different ones everytime I do the quiz so I just ended up google what each letter stands for and sorted myself lol. I align myself with ISFJ the most

What is your favorite type of girls? Fictional? Emma Woodhouse/ Cher Horowitz along with Ai Haibara from Detective Conan are my favorite heroines of all time (Snarky bitches with heats of gold). Irl? Girls with great sense of humor

Are you an innie or an outie? Innie

Left or right handed? Right

Favorite food? Vietnamese, Japanese, and Korean food

Favorite foreign food? Sushi/ poke, Korean bbq and fried chicken (In fact I just had a Korean cheese fried chicken earlier lol), tacos (esp fish tacos)

Are you a clean or messy person? Messy in terms of organization but I can’t stand actual dirt/ sticky substance

Most used phrase? “Well I guess...” or “Yeah...”

How long does it take for you to get ready? 15 mins normally, 45 mins when I wanna be more dressed up

Do you talk to yourself? Yeah. She makes a lot of good points!

Do you sing to yourself? Yes

Are you a good singer? Nope, I can’t hold a tune to save my life

Biggest fear? I have severe flight anxiety and always imagine what if the plane crashes when I get on a flight. Otherwise just typical stuff like ghosts or getting murdered

Are you a gossip? Not really irl but I do enjoy lurking online drama from time to time. Highly recommend the subreddit r/hobbydrama I have wasted a lot of times reading things on there haha

Do you like long or short hair? I typically cut my hair to chin length, let it grow to around my boobs & then cut again

Favorite school subject? From K-12: English (as a foreign language when I was in VN), French (when I move here, but I already forgot most of my french by now rip), History, Literature. So typical social studies stuff. I also enjoy math from time to time

Extrovert or Introvert? Mostly introvert but going to concerts is one my favorite activities ever and I do enjoy being in the crowd during those times. Also HCMC/ Saigon population is like 9 million so even though I cherish my own space I am kinda used to crowded places in general

What makes you nervous? Flights as mentioned above, public speaking, confrontations

Who was your first real crush? That one kid in elementary school who I can’t remember the name of but was really good at drawing

How many piercings do you have? Just 2, one on each ear. I haven’t worn earrings in a while tho I hope they haven’t closed yet...

How fast can you run? I’m terribly out of shape so not very fast lol

What color is your hair? Black. Had I been able to fly back to VN this summer I think I would have dyed it to a brown-pink color (think Jisung during Boom, but maybe more brown)

What color are your eyes? Black (although I read that black irises technically don’t exist, it’s actually a very deep brown color instead)

What makes you angry? Lots of things but unfairness & hypocrisy in general

Do you like your own name? Yeah. I like that it’s unisex, short, and easy to spell/ pronounce for people of all backgrounds (although some still misspell it as Ming...). It also means bright/ light which I think is cool. I also like my full name as a whole, kinda long but pretty unique

Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I think a girl but I’m open to both

What are your strengths? Straightforwardness and I’m pretty self-aware

What are your weaknesses? My lack of patience and my tendency to procrastinate lol

Color of your bedspread? Mint

Color of your room? White

[seveliyukie]

Oikawa x Reader Soulmate Part 2 (with some Iwa angst)

“Y/n-san!”

You turn as a familiar voice calls out to you, a smile instinctively falling on your face. 

“Good morning Iwa-kun!” 

You quickly fell into step with him as the two of you headed towards the mall’s food court. A giggle found its way to your lips causing the boy next to you to look at you in confusion. 

“We’re wearing the same sweater today!” You explain, holding up your sleeve to show him that you, indeed, had the same navy blue sweatshirt on. It was a little big on you, but you loved to pull your sleeves over your cold hands to protect them from the harsh December chill. 

Unknown to you, Iwaizumi sported a light blush seeing you in the oversized clothing that could have easily been mistaken as his own. 

You’d look better in his sweater.

He stared at you with a soft expression as you rambled on about how your horrid history teacher assigned a three page paper over the three day weekend. Iwaizumi felt he could listen to you talk all day; it didn’t matter about what. He just loved to hear your voice. 

Just as he had that thought, you faltered, the skip in your step dying as you spotted a familiar brown haired setter standing at the entrance of the mall. Unlike three months ago, tears didn’t threaten to spill at the sight of your rejected soulmate. Instead, you fought down the fluttery feeling in your chest as you saw him light up when he spotted you. 

After the whole volleyball incident, you had managed to run into Iwaizumi and Oikawa at the mall you frequented. You had been the first to spot them and tried to turn the other way, but you had accidentally overheard the boy’s conversation.

Flashback

“I can’t believe how much I screwed up Iwa-chan.” Oikawa wailed to his best friend who had a large coffee in his hand to combat yet another one of his best friend’s tantrums. This was one he’s heard at least a hundred times since he had found out you were Oikawa’s soulmate. 

“She is literally the most perfect being in the universe. Not just for me. For anyone.” Oikawa declared, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. “She’s going to be taken by some other lucky idiot who doesn’t deserve how caring, smart, funny, and driven she is.”

“Uh-huh.” Iwaizumi agreed in a neutral tone. He’s learned from experience it was best to let Oikawa get it out of his system. Truth be told, Iwaizumi was truly sympathetic to his friend’s situation. His own soulmate has yet to show themselves to him, but from the occasional, suspicious looking bruises in unnatural places, he had a decent idea they weren’t looking too hard for him. To top it all off, he felt guilty for being the one to tag you as a fangirl. Had he not done that, maybe Oikawa would’ve found the one person in the universe who could understand and love him.

“Did you know she refused to do anything even remotely dangerous because she was worried I would get distracted during a game and mess up? She figured out I played sports and took that into consideration with her own life!” Oikawa sighed. In a tone he only ever showed to his best friend, he whispered, “She really is too good for me. Maybe it was better that she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

Iwaizumi bumped his shoulder against the self-hating setter. Normally he’d slap him on the back of the head, but ever since your little confrontation, he’s been more wary of how he hits Oikawa. “Don’t say that. You guys are soulmates. I’m sure she’ll come around. You just have to keep trying to reach her and tell her all the stuff you tell me.”

Oikawa’s brown eyes widened in shock. “Who are you and what did you do with Iwa-chan?!”

A tick mark appeared on the Ace’s forehead. The image of the petite, h/c girl from the match was the only thing that kept him from flinging Oikawa across the mall.

Flashback End

Soon after, you had somehow befriended Iwaizumi after he apologized to you for the pain he caused you from hitting Oikawa as well as calling you a random fangirl when he didn’t even know you. You had accepted his apology, but you found it harder to accept the same apology from your own soulmate. Instead, you hid behind his best friend, unintentionally breaking your soulmate's heart. Weekly texts from the Ace of Seijoh turned into weekly meetups. Every once in a while, Iwaizumi would update you on Oikawa knowing, with your kind and stubborn demeanor, you wanted to know but didn’t want to ask. Even if you were mad at him, you still cared about him. You soon learned he cared about you just as much as he cared about you.

“My fingers felt extra cold today and I was worried about you, so I brought you some heat packs.” Oikawa said as he grabbed your hands, wrapping your numb fingers around the warm packets he had been keeping in his pocket. Seeing you tense up at his proximity, he quickly let go and glanced shyly to the side, “I- I know you were supposed to spend the day with Iwa-chan, but I really wanted to get to know you better, so would you mind if I tagged along?” 

He looked at you with his adorable brown eyes. How could you possibly say no to a look like that? So you nodded, a blush you blamed on the cold forming on your face. 

His chocolate brown eyes lit up with excitement. He cheered as you glanced at him through your eyelashes not knowing evidence of your growing crush on him was shining in your gaze. 

Next to you, your soulmate’s best friend, the one who’s been trying to get you to give him a chance, felt a knife slice at his heart. It was no surprise to him that Oikawa would eventually win your heart. Not only was he your soulmate, but he was better than Iwaizumi in every way. He was handsome, intelligent, passionate… in short Oikawa was perfect compared to him. 

You two completed each other. While Oikawa was petty, you were forgiving. While you were self-conscious, Oikawa was confident. He knew he should feel happy that his two friends would finally find happiness with each other, but all he could think in that moment was: I wish I were your soulmate.

A/N: Yes, I made a part 2, and it’s even more angsty than the first part. Hope you enjoyed it! It was inspired by the song Heather by Conan Gray; highly recommended song by the way. Requests are still open (have gotten a grand total of 1, yay!) but also they might come out slow since demand isn’t high and I have so much work to do. As always, I don’t own any part of Haikyuu; all rights belong to the all powerful Furudate-sensei.

[tsarisfanfiction]

FFWF ask:

For Thunderbirds: is there an AU you have considered writing?

FanFic Writer Friday! // Fanfic Writer Ask Meme

Define “AU”.  I tend to stick close to canon, but I’ve poked my toe in a few other playgrounds occasionally.  The main ones I’ve played around with (and written the odd scene for), are listed here.

(And yes, I will take questions on any of them if you’re interested.  I have spent far too much time plotting these out for them to just keep rotting away in my head and never see the world)

Son of Poseidon!Gordon.  Yes, it’s a PJO crossover thing, where Chiron is miffed there’s a big three demigod somewhere and he can’t find him to train him up.  There’s a whole thing where Apollo had a vision about IR and the Olympians decided that IR needed someone for the water because the whole family are flyboys and Earth is 2/3rds water so some agreement happened where Poseidon was permitted to go meet with Lucille... and yeah.  So the other four bros are “Normals” (actually eighth(?) demigod because Grandma’s a daughter of Apollo but demigod genetics doesn’t work like that) still, but Gordon’s a demigod.  They live on Tracy Island because that means the gods can put anti-monster barriers up and keep Gordon hidden and safe and yeah, lots of worldbuilding and stuff.

Meanwhile, Gordon’s idea of dunking his brothers isn’t throwing them in the pool, but rather throwing the pool on them.  (He did that once.  After Grandma made him mop it all up by hand - no demigod powers allowed - he decided the whole pool was overkill and just splashes them now).  He also likes to dive into the pool from the lounge balcony (did it from the bedroom balcony once.  Scott tore into him “I don’t care what magic powers you have I am drawing the line at that one”).  He’s the only one allowed to do it, although he tends to do it if he’s alone or with Grandma, and spares Scott the heart attack - and so he doesn’t give Alan ideas.

His brothers also know that if they’re off the island and he tells them to move they don’t hesitate.  He can see through the Mist.  They... might get a small glimpse if they’re lucky.  They can see enough to be a target, but not enough to see the monsters coming most of the time.  Gordon swears it’s a full time job just protecting them sometimes, let alone the rescues themselves!

APTX!Scott.  Another crossover - this time with Detective Conan.  Scott goes on a solo rescue in Japan, but sees something he shouldn’t and the Black Organisation decide to eliminate him and steal his Thunderbird.  Thunderbird One gets stolen, but instead of putting a bullet in his head - that would invite questions - they use the fatal but undetectable poison, APTX-4869.  However, Scott becomes the third (fourth, I guess, but I’m ignoring Sera’s mother) to survive it, instead shrinking back into his seven year old body.

He gets found by Conan, who quickly realises who he is (as in, that he’s IR.  This AU follows TOS’s ‘no-one knows who IR are’ although it’s otherwise TAG-verse still) and fills him in on what’s going on and why letting anyone know he’s still alive would be a Very Bad Thing.  Cue Scott going underground, living with Haibara and the Professor and attending elementary school with the Detective Boys.

But his family aren’t going to let Scott just disappear like that, and eventually John and Gordon hunt him down (cue panic on all fronts as various truths come out.  Haibara is particularly furious he chose to make his ‘fake name’ “Scott Carpenter” when she realises it isn’t actually a fake name at all).  IR then joins the alphabet soup that are Conan’s connections!

2004 Movie Rewrite.  Good old butterfly effect!  I enjoy the movie, but it has some major holes (and a major lack of any Tracy bro whose name doesn’t begin with A) so I tried to patch one of those holes.  Just one, honest!  Just the teeny tiny change that instead of going to Jeff, who he knows is gonna yell at him, Alan goes to Scott instead about the weird goop on TB1.

Scott... does not take a tracker on his ‘bird very well.  There is panic, there are rash decisions, there are less rash but still snap decisions because Scott’s the field commander for a reason, there is a very angry father when instead of Alan appearing for a scolding for playing with TB1, Alan vanishes and then TB1 launches without clearance anyway.  Oh, and TB5′s just been attacked and TB3′s been sabotaged so he can’t get to John (and Gordon and Virgil seem to be hiding something).

And then there’s this Hood guy in his home attacking his family and trying to steal the Thunderbirds - which fails because TB2 and TB4 have apparently also been sabotaged what happened to all the Thunderbirds - and yeah, Jeff is not having a good day.

Meanwhile, Alan gets to fly TB1 for real and he’d be much happier about that if Scott wasn’t unconscious in the co-pilot seat.

dark!John.  There’s only so far you can push someone before they break, and John’s watched the world hurt his brothers one time too many.  With one brother’s life and future ruined after a brutal attack, it’s the last straw.  If the world can’t be nice to his brothers, the world doesn’t deserve nice things.

IR watches an unknown entity taking over important places - the GDF, the World Government, dangerous places that don’t bode well and have the world cowering in terror - and decide to do something about it.  It’s like the Hood all over again, except the Hood was never this successful.  This person, whoever they are, is dangerous and has to be stopped, whatever it takes.

They never imagined it was their own brother.