#con2ad

[jer3miah]

you know ,  i never wanted to hurt you .

the uninterrupted tension and unease that formerly found dwelling within the breadth of broad shoulders has seemed to dissipate, week by week and month by month, it got easier. respite and calm one with him, again. he'd recognized that what he was to ever have with belly was nothing more than friendship, the best friendship, but nothing more. they weren't meant to be, they weren't conrad and belly. there was a time where that mere thought would orbit and choke out his mind over and over again, confabulate the grandest visions and assumptions of them together and happy, and him discarded. not because he needed to compensate for any loss of memory, but as if hurting himself would make it easier to let go of her, for good. but that's the last thing he was supposed to do — jeremiah knew that they loved him, knows that they love him, so what he truly necessitated was to reconnect, to secure that bonds of their friendship even tighter than it ever was and remain. so that he did, and his chest felt less heavy. acceptance bled into his heart and absolved him from the suffering experience of what he can only assume love is. who knows, they really could've loved one another in a much.... dissimilar way, in their own way, but it could never feel right, that much he knows. he and conrad were progressively doing the same, finding their way back to each other. he lets himself accept, he lets himself confess, that he'll always need his brother. that he'll always want his brother.

his lengthy torso slants forth in his seat on the dock where they both overlook the sea, forearms leaning against his thighs to support his weight, his brother sat alongside. head relatively bows at conrad's sincerity, he sounds real as ever, as he normally would when he and jeremiah would talk. he missed this, he missed him. ❝ i know you didn't, ❞ he nods, allowedly now, hands clasping between his knees before a softened gaze glances out at the temperate waves. ❝ everything just got fucked up for too long, you know? it took me a while to come around because it was just hard. i love her, but not the way you do, con. it would've been even more fucked up to stand in the way. ❞ he glances over at him then, chin brushing the threads of his knitted shirt, baby blues twinkling in the setting sun. ❝ i never wanted to hurt you either. ❞

music for the soul sentence starters, accepting. you know,  i never wanted to hurt you.

[lovetold]

❛ i thought you’d like some company. ❜  / beck

just when she was about to get him, her empathic, very intuitive, sensitive boy. the one who'd eat at himself till there was nothing left if it meant no one else got hurt. which he'd done all summer, she'd seen it, how he was slowly wasting away keeping her secrets. how he'd pushed away all his friends, quit football because he was angry with his father, angry with the world ... never angry with her, even if he had every right in the world to be. she was going away - somewhere he couldn't follow. she was leaving him to brave the world on his own, and it broke both their hearts. lighting up with a smile when he comes into the living room, motioning to the couch with a hand, her other hand keeping the jewelry box closed.

" i was about to come look for you, " they had the morning to themselves, jeremiah was a heavy sleeper, and he would sleep all morning if they let him, which she would. it was weekend, there was no school, she wasn't too worried about school work not being done before lunchtime. she knows her boys are responsible, she raised them well. sitting down next to him on the couch, brushing her fingers through his hair - which, of course, he'd already brushed. " i have something for you, something for you to keep safe for me, and one day give to someone very special. " she won't say her name, even if she'd seen how they gazed at each other all summer. even if she knew the pain he'd been in, keeping himself in line, keeping track of her and everyone else. denying to himself ( and belly ) that he had feelings for her. but she knew it would happen eventually. at least she'd like to think so, even if she wasn't going to be there to cheer them on.

meme: i thought you'd like some company - an assortment of dialogue prompts. accepting. ( esp from u kt )

[scribare-archive]

@con2ad.

usually, she didn't take time off and away from her horses. training, either at the gym or with them. or at college, where her parents had demanded she get a degree. balancing the two was hard enough & now there was him aswell. not regretting it, but it was a little difficult balancing everything, and getting enough sleep. remember to eat and drink. settling down for one evening might be a good thing however. still warm enough out, even after the sun went down. blanket put down on the ground, laying shoulder to shoulder and there's a small smile tugging at the corner of lips. her parents farm far enough from the city, that the stars were clearly twinkling down at them & head turn to look over at him.     ❝   what do you think ?   ❞      not used to dating someone, but she guess it's nice. in some ways. smile grows a bit, nose twitch slightly. ❝   a little bit cheesy ?   ❞

[forbaesmoved]

@con2ad  sent  :          “  want to help me make my ex jealous?  ”

                   it's a bad idea. even worse than that; it's a terrible idea and caroline knows it as much. and yet, as she stares back at conrad, seeing the sadness in his eyes that he so desperately tries to conceal, she just knows she'll say yes.           ❝     conrad ...     ❞            a sigh, a plea. slender fingers run through golden waves, pushing her grown out bangs away from her face.           ❝     are you sure you wanna do that? you can be the bigger person.     ❞            blue eyes flicker to the other side of the room, where she easily spots jeremiah with a smiling belly tucked into his side. they look cute together; that much she has to admit. but it pains her to know conrad is suffering right now.           ❝     okay, fine — i'll do it.     ❞            she relents at last, chugging the last of her beer before setting the empty bottle down on the counter.           ❝     but i get to say i told you so when this blows up in your face, got it?     ❞ 

fake dating sentence starters ♡ accepting.

[publicabsent]

@con2ad: “No, I’m okay, I just… I hit my head. Really hard. I’ll be okay, just give me a second.”

"no." departing from her church mouse demeanor, but only for the sake of someone she hardly knows. head injuries are no joke, that much she knows. her brows knit together, studying the boy's face. "s - sit. please?" hands hover, watching him closely. "wh - where were you, um ... um. h-hit ... ?"

[jer3miah]

the past forty-eight hours had been nothing short of a fucking rollercoaster.     when the mere thought that something could've happened to conrad had come to mind, dread sunk like a knife so low within the pit of his stomach.     he couldn’t lose the only family he had left, not conrad, not his brother.     jeremiah was operating on sheer impulse from that moment, thoughts hurtling, yet composure in clear view and ever sustained.     he’d called up the friends he and conrad had in common, turned up at brown to try and hunt his ass down, all but interrogated trusky.     all throughout, his heart had been pounding away against his ribcage, pulse roaring in his ears. who'd know anyway? nobody, they didn't have to.     their mom had died, conrad had to be okay.     he and belly were met with a crumb of triumph, however, they knew to track him at cousins.

part of him wishes he hadn’t showed, an indeterminable part of him wishes he didn’t even know that the summer house had been put on the market.      but no, he had to know, that's what this was all about, right? conrad has to put an end to doing everything alone. at times, jeremiah would believe that what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, but at heart, he knows just how mistaken that is.     whatever’s meant to hurt will inescapably come around to ascertain it’s recognition, to make sure it’s heard and understood.     he never would’ve hoped, let alone wanted, for conrad to shoulder all of this on his own.     sometimes aggravation overrides any other emotion that jeremiah could be feeling because his brother withholds so much and expresses too little.     it hurts jeremiah, it hurts because he deserved to know these things too, he wanted to feel like he could be entrusted enough to help conrad salvage mom’s house.

you don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself, he’d lashed out a few hours earlier, exasperation and defeat one with him.     for a split second, he even thought that he should've seen his brother's bullshit coming from a mile away. he interrupted himself, because conrad just thought it'd be best to handle it on his own. he gets that now, but he still thinks its fucking stupid, and wrong. he knows his words had been grating, they often are when he's feeling this way, but what else was he to think? what else was he to feel?     it was difficult — when conrad went dark, when he carried the weight of mom’s cancer on the breadth of his shoulders.     jeremiah hadn't known about it, he was unaware of what his brother carted around for so long, this made it challenging for jeremiah to apprehend.     he didn’t know what it was his brother needed in order to peel off his layers of darkness.     jeremiah desired to help but attempts were futile, so instead he stepped back.     he eluded his brother’s midnight rain and ran with the sunshine instead.     they needed to do better, if not for them, then for their mom.     she would've never wanted this for them.     ❝     yeah, tell that to the bags under your eyes.     ❞     he scoffs wittingly, hands tucked into the pockets of his pants as he idles alongside where conrad’s sat.     he steps around to take a seat beside his brother, and when conrad twists to face him, when ocean eyes meet their mirror,   his heart breaks     (     a micro-fracture     ) within his chest.

❝     conrad….     ❞     there are instances where he does bide his time to consider his words conscientiously.     junctures in time such as these, moments where he truly doesn’t desire his brother to hurt. not now, not ever.     he doesn’t want his brother to continue bearing a weight that belongs to them all on his own.     ❝     we tried, with dad and aunt julia.     but this isn’t your fault, all right? ❞ a hand extends toward his brother, sliding across the back of his shoulders and settling. ❝ no more doing things on your own. i know, you’re the oldest.     you want to be a doctor, i know.     none of those things mean that you can’t lean on me.     i know we have our shit, con.... fuck, we’re brothers — we’ll always have shit,   but you're not alone in this family.     ❞

“  i’m not going anywhere until you get some sleep.  ” — PROMPTS FOR THE HEAVY HEARTED ( accepting ) for @jer3miah

he told himself it would be better if he handled this on his own, quietly, without bringing jeremiah into it. or steven ... belly. she was the last person he wanted to find out about this. he knew how much the beach house meant to her, she loved it as much as beck did. they all did. but conrad already broke her heart again. he couldn't do it again. it broke his heart all over again seeing her in the dining room, knowing she overheard their conversation. that she knew. jeremiah would have found out one way or another. a part of him still wished he had come to a quick resolution on his own, or god forbid, with adam's help. he should have known better. the only person he considered calling was laurel, but he couldn't even bring himself to do that either. he should have told them all.

he knew that now that they were all in the house again together. that was the way things were supposed to be. conrad and jeremiah, belly and steven, summers in cousins. that's all beck ever wanted. it was a dream that was fading away right in front of their eyes. he couldn't sleep, hadn't all week really. so he ended up sitting out on the pier. the sun had just started to come up, and conrad hadn't even tried to pretend like he would get any sleep. the furniture was gone. everything was gone. aunt julia sold the house. he failed them.

"i did," he lied without looking over at his brother. @jer3miah would see right through the lie it in the dark circles coloring the skin under his eyes. he picked at the frayed edges of a hole in his jeans. "jer, i'm—" he did turn to face his brother then, and he looked just as tired as conrad felt. that only solidified what he was about to say. "i'm sorry i couldn't save the house. i tried. i tried." he repeated those two words, and on the second one, his voice broke.

[5teven]

#5TEVEN — independent, private and very selective STEVEN CONKLIN from THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY by KT.

AFFILIATED and SHIP EXCLUSIVE with shayla wang ( @shayl4 ) AFFILIATED and EXCLUSIVE with : belly conklin ( @be1ly ) conrad fisher ( @con2ad ) jeremiah fisher ( @jer3miah ) beck fisher ( @lovetold ) laurel park ( @enremoto )

[neverafters]

i’ll make a promo eventually but @con2ad (conrad fisher from tsitp) has been stealing all of my attention lately so you should follow me over there !!

[jer3miah]

it’s getting hard to find a silver lining .

there have been more instances than he can count during the resurgence of his mom’s disease where he allowed himself to pretend that they were back at the beginning of last summer.     when he hadn’t known she was sick again, when he didn’t have to wake up everyday and call to mind that with every passing moment, she could descend into death’s embrace.     today wasn’t one of those days.     today it was real, and as much as it exhaustively aggrieved him, there was an urge to move and cauterize the apprehension and despair that weighed conrad and him down.     he’s felt alone, so alone as of late, and he needed someone that wasn’t there. but right now he had conrad.     right now they had each other, and he’d be damned to simply dismiss that.     he wouldn’t waste another second.     ❝     all right, get up.     ❞     bounding to his feet and thumping the back of his brother’s shoulder in one fluid movement, jeremiah gives him another jostle — with meaning that time.     ❝     come on, connie.     now, get up, we’re going.     ❞

music for the soul sentence starters, accepting. it's getting hard to find a silver lining.

[jer3miah]

you’re my favorite brother, occasionally

while still swathed in the innocence of youth, it wasn’t uncommon knowledge that his big brother proved intelligence beyond his years.   some of jeremiah’s earliest memories were of conrad arriving home from school to studiously get through his homework, while jeremiah made a beeline for his video games.    it's not that jeremiah didn't care about his grades, he did, but he cared about them more for susannah and adam's sakes.    he looked to his dad for recognition at times, and half the time, he didn’t realize he was even in search of it.    on the one hand he’s appreciative of it, because it got him to care about things that could be important for his future. but on the other, he wished he'd done it for himself.   though jeremiah couldn’t necessarily attribute the same studious qualities to himself, he was smart and bright in his own way, and now he looks to conrad with pride.  it took him time to shed his jealousy, it took him years to deconstruct and separate the things he’d been envious of and those that would simply never be meant for him.   in allowing himself to be awash with pride for his brother, he'd fallen into himself more.   he’s found safety and a foothold in this world without susannah fisher safeguarding him, he’s reclaimed a home in his multiplying family.   

"occasionally?"   brows shoot up his forehead, arms rising to fold over his chest as he angles his torso toward conrad. they're in the kitchen, a kitchen that bears memories ranging across all their lifetimes. this may be belly, conrad's, and baby beck's permanent home now, but jeremiah likes to think it'll always be his too. there will always be room for him and andrés. "i'm occasionally your favorite brother — like steven's occasionally your best friend?"    he scoffs teasingly, shoulder knocking against the other's. "conrad, bro, i will always be your favorite, um and only? brother.   even when you don't want to admit it — you love me."

[scribare-archive]

@con2ad.

not usually for the party scene, found it too crowded, too loud. but once in a while, she guess it wasn't too bad. dragged out by a few friends, and while she didn't want to bring the energy down, it felt easier to go out back for a bit. take a few minutes to herself, away from the noise & maybe the ringing in her ears won't be too bad later. plus, early start tomorrow. not the only one with the same idea it seems, even if the reason might not be the same. a little unsure perhaps, hesitates for a few moments. glance over her shoulder, and it seems less tempting to go back and stick it out. pool gleaming in the moonlight, and she walk down the stairs before nose crinkle slightly.     ❝   you want to be alone ?   ❞

[lovetold]

summers were magical, and while susannah knows the children believe her to be a part of it, she knew better. they were the magic. a smile as she sits next to her oldest son. the one who made her worry the most, his heart would ache when he found out. a part of her suspects already, maybe he already knows. he'd been more quiet this summer, more broody than he usually was. especially during summers away from adam. her fingers run through his hair, brushing his hair away from his forehead. her beautiful boy, what she wouldn't do to take away his pain. to ease the weight on his shoulders.

" belly was really happy to see you again, @con2ad. " bringing up the one person who seemed to be able to make her boy smile again. fingers brush on his jawline before she leans back on the couch. allowing him some space to open up, she wants to know everything. wants to soak up the last summer she will have with the children and laurel. the best summers.

[jer3miah]

i can’t just hear jeremiah in your dialogue, i can feel his heart in everything you write. you have taken our sunshine boy and, somehow, managed to make him shine even brighter. i have thoroughly enjoyed plotting with you and seeing how perfectly our headcanons align to make the most beautiful affiliated verse with our babies and ida’s. i can’t wait to see what you do with him 🥰

screaming crying they are everything to me, and i adore you so much. you, my love, are corndad fisher through and through ♡ i thank you and ida so much for giving me the space to flesh out jere as i have, and for making it so comfortable to share my headcanons and ideas without fear of judgement or backlash. you're so amazing and i'm perpetually in awe of you, kt 😭

how's my portrayal, always accepting.

[lovetold]

+ @con2ad and susannah fisher. private starter.

there are times in a mother's life she never wants to face - this was one of them. realizing that her son had known for months. that he'd been suffering on his own - keeping up this facade, and knowing that it had been partly for her. it had been for her, for his little brother ... for laurel and belly, even steven. it breaks her heart. the one thing worse than dying ... it was leaving behind the living. to know she could not aid their grief, but instead she caused it. she could not pull him from the darkness, and she could not walk to the end of it with him either. he'd have to fight his own way to the light this time. she hopes, prays that their families will stick together through this. that they will know enough about love and trust, to always fall back into place.

jeremiah had fallen asleep with unshed tears still in his eyes - which allowed her to seek out her oldest, the boy who aligned his heart with the moon, always a mystery. beck had made it one of her most important tasks in life to stay up and watch the moon to understand what went on inside of his heart and mind a little better, but tonight she couldn't read it. do the trial, for us. they had both begged, and she had agreed. mostly for their sake, beck wanted to die with dignity, to feel like herself in her final moments, but there was no such thing - cancer ate up dignity, at least with everyone knowing, she'd get to die surrounded by their love. taking a seat next to him and running her fingers through his hair, then pulling him closer until he rests against her side. she might be smaller, but he would always fit perfectly curled up at her side. " i'm not mad you didn't tell me. are you mad i didn't tell you ? " voice is a soft whisper, letting him know that she understands if he is. she'd kept so many secrets to protect the innocence of their hearts - not realizing that her boy would do the same to protect the magic of hers. " i've made a lot of mistakes, huh ? "

[forbaesmoved]

what kind of lover are you?

the peaceful lover.

you view love as a single moment, a tiny candle flame that somehow burns hotter and brighter than a wildfire. your hands are calloused from holding someone else’s hand for so long, it’s hard to imagine them ever once being soft flesh. your heart is light, and your days full of warmth in the arms of another. i wish i were you. maybe one day we all will be.

tagged by: my darling, @klaeus

tagging: @salvatoraes @be1ly @con2ad @jer3miah @depictedblue & whoever wants to do this !

[scribare-archive]

𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐮𝐫𝐥 𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬. 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧, 𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐮𝐫𝐥:

s : something in the orange - zach bryan. c : carrying your love - david morris. r : right where you left me - taylor swift. i : in the stars - benson boone. b : brother - kodaline. a : atlantis - seafret. r : radioactive - imagine dragons. e : eat your young - hozier.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: @nightstriumph

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠: @moiraied, @elygies, @nearends, @be1ly, @jer3miah, @con2ad, @faeruuh, @antiler and You <3