#completely. im gonna scream what is that song why did I almost cry

[gyuswhore]

ok update so im back from the motherland (we all cheered) but I am now on one of the worst periods of my life which really isn't ideal bc my semester has started and I need to unpack and also finish this collaboration fic (fun)

BUT J01 IS HERE AND IK IVE BEEN QUIET ABOUT IT BUT IM LITERALLY BUZZING IN MY SEAT ITS SO!!!! GOOD!!!!!O@#RNMOW AAAAAAAAAAAAA will be posting my song by song review as soon as I have time but know that this is one of the best albums ive listened to in such a long time HE IS SO GOOD

[mccoys-killer-queen]

All my comments on the Styx: Caught In the Act tape

I'm SO glad i bought this tape

Tommy on my TV screen hits so different 👁️👄👁️

again, I wanna know what their fucking budget was for the Kilroy film

I WANT MORE OF TOMMY'S ACTING I THOUGHT IT WAS GENUINELY GOOD

I love how pouty faced and dissociative Tommy is the whole time during Mr. Roboto like how the FUCK could he sit that still when that bop was blasting through him

he's just letting Dennis have his pick-me theater kid moment

and that GREASY FRIED CHICKEN STOPPGKAKAKGLG

"and when JY started his guitar solo-" *EVERYONE FUCKING SQUEALS*

this is getting me even more psyched for next month when I see them again

as much as I love this whole tape and am eating it the FUCK up I can totally understand why JY and Tommy hated every second of this (i was in drama club in high school I get it)

(it was here the wine started to kick in)

I stg these ppl only get along when Rockin the Paradise is playing

I'm getting in a habit of saying FUCK IT UP DENISSSS whenever he has a solo

Blue Collar Man- "the DOG and my friends"

TOMMY ROLLING HIS Rs STOP

TOMMY'S ROCKIN OUT AAAAA LOOKATHIMGO HE'S GETTIN SO INTO IT THIS IS HIS MOMENT iM GONNA BE GOING SO FUCKJNG FERAL FOR HIM IN THE 5TH ROW

Tommy pls don't fall I know you're light enough for me to catch u but pls dont fall

"the california state legislature was so loosened up they decided several records including ours had backwards satanic messages on them" NGMSKWKGOGOSLPG

JY'S MAKEUP IS SO HHHHGGGGGGGHHH

I'm such a fucking S L U T for the transition from JY to Tommy's vocals on Snowblind like that shit is better than sex

i'm just realizing now this is VERY different than what I was doing this time last night (touching Phil Lewis)

Tommy: this one goes out to all of you who ever felt like you had too much time on your hands :)

the way he SQUATS like boi he R E A D Y this is his MOMENT 👏👏👏

HIM DOING THE LITTLE HAND MOTIONS

"is it any wonder i'm not a terrorist?? 😃😃😃" TOMMY NO—

i was NOT prepared for him to actually do the unhinged eye stuff

"and IIII DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF- so I do this- *plays the solo*"

you may be cool but you'll never be as cool as Tommy Shaw that's the facts

i literally almost spit out my wine at "HE'S NOT THE PRESIDENT"

not prepped for the thing they did by splicing tommy's face bc this tape is almost 40 years old so i thought the tAPE WAS FUCKED UP

the completely unhinged ending Tommy and JY do at the end of Too Much Time by JUMP-SHUFFLING IN SYNC

Dennis and Tommy doing Don't Let It End 🥺 tommy seems to like it so much 🥺🥺

OH SHITTTTTTTT DR RIGHTEOUS IS HERE OH NOOOOOO

SHAKE IT JY FUCKIN POP IT I'M GONNA SCREAMMM

CHUCK AND JOHN I'M GONNA SCREAM

THE CROWD BOOING DR RIGHTEOUS LMAOOOO

the fucking "guitar shredder" made me snort

the angels put too much angel into Tommy when they were making Him

NOT THEM WARPING TOMMY'S VOICE AND THE PIXELATION OF THE FILM

TOMMY IN THE CROWD FUCK IT UPPPPP 👏👏👏👏👏👏

THE WAY EVERYONE'S TRYING TO TOUCH HIS HAIR

Dennis watching Tommy fall into the girls like "you're doing amazing, sweetie"

NOT JY AND TOMMY DOING A CROTCH THING ONSTAGE

TOMMY PLS KEEP SCREAMING AND CRYING OUT DON'T EVER STOP

What i would give to hear The Best of Times live 🥲

tommy's distorted voice in The Best of Times always makes me feel something in my soul i can't explain it

that being said the very end of tommy's solo in that song when the piano just starts to come back in also makes me feel something deep in my soul i can't explain it

that also being said tommy's distorted voice on the line "could bring back paradise" also makes me feel something deep in my soul I can't explain it

Dennis' smile and lil' "thank you"s at the end of The Best of Times 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 💙💙💙

I just love that even 40 years ago as soon as ppl hear the first note of Come Sail Away they go feral like they do now

EVERYONE SINGING ALONG HHHHHHHH IT WARMS MY HEARTTT

i would lay down my life if it means i couldve been at this show

((it was here the second glass of wine kicked in))

I SAW THAT WINK JY

Chuck needs to come out of the shadows so we can see his insanely gay outfit

TOMMY BOUNCIN HIS LIL BUTT DURING THE KEYBOARD SOLO IN COME SAIL AWAY 🍑

something in me ascended when JY took over that solo 👁️👄👁️

THE GIRL ONSTAGE ONSTAGE HUGGING DENNIS AND TOMMY PLEASE THEY LIKE IT A LITTLE TOO MUCH THE WAY THEY WERE ALL SWAYING FMSKSKKVOBLF

that lil flick of tommy's wrist is SENDING ME FKANAKKFKG HE'S SO FUCKJNG BABY

UH OH TOMMY'S ON TOP OF THE PIANO

tommy needs to be kept on a leash and that's why i made those memes i posted

uh oh Tommy's convulsing and thrashing on the stage floor

UH OH TOMMY'S HUMPING CHUCK ONSTAGE

it's fine he's okay it's during Renegade he gets a pass on this one this is His Moment™ again

JESUS THAT'S A LOT OF SCREAMING TOM

it's okay it's during Renegade he gets a pass on this one

JESUS CHRIST THAT'S A LOT OF RUNNING TOM

JY and Tommy booty bumping so aggressively

TOMMY'S SHIMMYING FJSNAKKFKGKDK

OH NO THE STAGE IS GETTING RAIDED

JOHN NOOOOOOOO

oh so THAT'S how that guy died

Tommy as Jonathan: Dammit. DAMMIT! *girls squeal*

AAAAAAAAAATOMMYISSINGINGASONGASJONATHANGIVEMEHISTHEATREKIDMOMENT I'M LOVING THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Tommy's eye makeup is also so ✨✨✨

I feel the primal urge to give tommy a bouquet of roses after this show is over

i'm gonna cry Haven't We Been Here Before is just so beautiful i was NOT EXPECTING DENNIS/KILROY TO COME IN LIKE THAT

Fight me on this hot take but Tommy could do broadway and so could Dennis

the SWEAT that is GLISTENING on his face low key looks like tears

RIGHTEOUS 👏 THINKS 👏 IT'S 👏 OVER 👏👏

THE GLOWING GUITAR I'M TRYING NOT TO SCRAAEMAMD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TOMMY SING IT KEEP ROCK AND ROLL ALIVE YOU A R E THE MODREN MAN BABEY

I'M GONNA CRY HE'S SO GOOD IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY

TOMMY PULLING THAT GIRL UP ONSTAGE AND SHE LOW KEY LOOKS LIKE ME

that was so fucking good I would KILL to see a rock show that also had a story around the whole set

[bonesandthebees]

CLICKY SCENE CLICKY SCENE CLICKY SCENE

[Screams]

I ended up rereading ch2 of what the water gave me to cope wITH THAT ENDING WTF BEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Also i forgot i hadnt sent an ask for ch 2 of songs of change 😭😭

So ima speedrun that quickly

UNCLE TECHNOOO OHMYGOODNESS I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM SM :(( HES SOO

Big boi man with smol child is my fav trope

Techno yeeting wilbur across the pool was so sweetsdhdjskfi i adored that scene sm, i could see it so clearly in my head rahhhh

Phil singing to help wilbur sleep makes me want to cry [bawls]

ALSO HE CALLED HIM KIDDO OGMGUDPAGELDSUEIDPDYWLRKDGSDNFOFSVDVKFFHDJFLDHRPFURDLGIFHDPFUFDHFPSHDKFJDVSKDJ [explodes] THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO MEEE AHFPFJEKS

I love the energy of wilbur asking a bajillion questions, he's sooo<33

A little shit, but an adorable little shit

Phil is also a little shit, i see why they like each other so much LMFAOOO

Philllll

Why did you think tricking the child into becoming a mer would work 😭 dumbass

Also why did he think Wilbur wouldn't figure it out 😭😭

Techno is the only one with braincells

Shfkflflf

Godddd im sooo sgdkfhsnfkf :((<33

Theyre all so SWEET i love them theyre a fambly but also PHIL WHY [sobs]

Also wilbur accidentally doing the scared trill and Phil RUNNING ohmggod he was so scared im gonna cry ohmvuspwheodisgdkfdj 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Im so nervous hes gonna try to cut the scale off of himself ohmygod

IM SO SADDD

Goshhh, this was a really good chapter tho<333 definitely worth the wait ohmygoddd

I think taking ur time with the reveal really helped the impact, showing him being in denial bc if he was turning into a mer than that would mean Phil lied to him but then he couldn't deny it anymore--

Ughhh ohnygoodnesshdkfldf they make me so ill

The trust and attachment he has to Phil warring with his betrayal and fear ooohhmygoodness this poor kid

I have a feeling things are gonna come to a head next chapter with his crew... might find that scale on him or smth and uh oh...

We'll see tho :D very lovely update bee, i am so hyped for the next one!!! Mermay 2023 is almost complete 🥳

yuppp you know I just had to do another clicky scene those are too fun

so glad you guys all liked techno chucking wilbur across the cove. I was struggling so hard to come up with something for them to do when phil first introduced them in that scene and then I was like "what if he just threw him" and I love how it turned out so much

wilbur is his kiddo :(( but yes they are also both little shits like father like son and all

phil is very stupid and also doesn't understand human emotions so he didn't think wilbur would be THAT upset. techno, meanwhile, does understand humans more hence why he was just like "bruh this will not end well"

ty!! i'm very happy I added the scenes even if it was really difficult to find the time to write them. I definitely rushed through it on the first draft, but I wanted the buildup and the subtle hints as to what was really going on, along with wilbur's own denial. he trusts phil so much at this point, he doesn't want to believe that phil would betray him like this but he did and it hurts so much

guess you'll have to wait and see how things turn out :)

[antonhousehold]

so let's love

summary: sometimes, katsuki let his insecurities get the best of him. and sometimes, you get hurt because of that.

song: so let's love - day6 (click the song, its totally worth it!)

warning: angst. bakugou being toxic. reader is touch starved. yelling and cursing. insecurities. reader is in love with bakugou but he's afraid!! no fluff end!

reader: gn!neutral (or i tried to be neutral!)

note: this is my first time writing angst, so im sorry if is shitty. also, i would like to let know that english is not my first language, so im sorry if i messed up with the grammar and stuff like that!

loving bakugou was kinda... hard.

sometimes he's sweet in his own way. you remember the times when you fell asleep in his arms. the way his heart almost ran away from his chest. the warmth of his body against yours. it was simply beautiful.

he was beautiful.

everything started when you met him in that street. the sky was pouring and some thunders were lightning up the clouds. the city was dark and the stars were the only ones in the scene. he was smoking a cigarette and the smell of the tabaco and the rain was a very unique fragrance to you. you tried to cover him from the rain with your umbrella. gladly, he didn't stop you.

«have I seen you before?» you asked. those vermillion eyes were as deep as the ocean.

«i think so, [name]»

you remember the first time he asked you out in a date. it was simple but nice. just like him.

you remember the times when you were with with him in highschool. the way his words were harsh towards everyone. you thought he overcome that.

«i told you before, dumbass. i can't stand when you touch me like that in public! it makes me look fucking weak!»

we sometimes fight, and get hurt by each other's sharp words

«i didn't even hug you! i just leaned on your body. i can't help it, I'm your partner!»

«my partner would fucking understand and respect my boundaries! or are you too dumb to actually get it?! »

and you tried to be understanding about him. you tried to give him the space he need it. you stopped showing affection towards him in public. it was kinda hard, but if this was the best way to keep him happy and comfortable, you were completely down for it.

then, in your shared apartment, he started to accept your love. you believed in the soft kisses, the hugs, and the fuzzy feeling of his words in your heart. You wanted to believe in the memories of happiness and beautiful moments that you locked in your mind. the promises and the not so often sweet words. it made you feel special. he always made you feel special, or that's what you wanted to believe.

i can't possibly erase all the wounds you left in me

everything was going on very well, at least at the beginning. until those ethereal moments started to get serious. katsuki realized how much in love he was with you. how his heart almost ran away from his chest every time you looked at him.

it was overwhelming.

so he started panicking. you were just too good to be with him. he didn't feel worthy of your love. why would you even love someone like him?

i'm too afraid that you might leave me

«hey katsu, wanna shower together? i thought it was a good idea since both of us are exhausted»

«shower first. i'm not joining»

sometimes, he just didn't even consider your dates or plans with him. every time was the same. 'i have stuff to do, maybe tomorrow', 'i need to study for this test, i'm not gonna throw my career just for you'

you just wanted a little bit of his love.

you know me, please hold my unstable heart

«can you stop looking me like that? it's giving me goosebumps»

«i'm sorry»

it was hard to him as well. every time he saw your disappointed face and the teary eyes of you, his heart sinks. he didn't want to hurt you, but the feeling of loving you were scarier than hurting your feelings.

saying harsh words was so much easier than accepting the fact that he was feeling vulnerable when you were with him.

«i'm not gonna go to that shitty party. go by yourself»

«it's going to be so much fun! come on, grandpa!» you tried to play it cool. you just wanted a little of him.

«are you deaf? im not fucking going. i have stuff way more important than getting drunk with you»

i want your love, please love me. that's all i wish for

«why the fuck are you so clingy around him?!! do you like him or what?!» he asked once you walked through the door.

«what? what are you talking about?»

«don't play dumb with me. answer the fucking question!»

«i don't even know what are you talking about?!» his eyes were staring at you so furiously, that you even felt the goosebumps in your skin. bakugou always looked scary when he was this mad.

«i'm talking about that shitty extra!» he pulled out his phone and let you see the bright photos of the party night that was all over his social media.

even one word, i need to say it carefully. even this sentence with a trembling heart..

in fact, you were with that green haired boy, hugging him and smiling so softly that bakugou wanted to throw up. it was totally disgusting. 'how can they be so lovey dovey with that piece of shit and bitching all the time with me?'

«why are so mad about it? you hate when i touch you or kiss you, then why are you so obsessed when i show affection towards someone else?!» this whole situation was getting on your nerves. it was hard to keep a conversation about this with him, because he'd always yell the same thing about you.

«because you're my fucking partner!! i didn't expect you to be such a whore just for a damn hug!»

his words got stuck in your head as he started walking near you, just to look at your eyes with those deep vermillion eyes. for a moment, you thought he wanted to cried, but his screams blinded his emotions.

his scent stills reminds you fo cigarettes and rainy days. thunders and fire. it was hard to keep all those emotions in your chest.

i thought we were still fine, but i was wrong

«what the fuck is wrong with you, bakugou?!! you don't want me to even look at you but you get jealous when i have a good time with my friends. what the fuck do you want from me??!» you tried to fight the urge of crying. your eyes were begging to let them cry, but the knot in your throat was suffocating you at this point.

«i want you to fucking LEAVE! i'm so done with this shit. i can't stand you anymore. i don't want your shitty 'affection'» he yelled. you jump in your place of how unexpected his words came out. «i don't think i ever loved you! you're so fucking annoying with the same shit. 'please katsuki, love me please' so damn annoying. you wanna know what?! nobody wants your fucking affection, not even me, get over it!!»

we were shaking as much as we could. we were getting that cold

the words he said, the way he screamed, everything felt so out of him.

you felt your hot tears walking down your face so painfully. even felt your blood run cold against your skin. there's no way he was your boyfriend. katsuki was a jerk, totally, but he would never hurt you like that. he's not your katsuki. something happened to him.

you tried so hard to believe that he didn't mean those things. you thought it was just another fight, that tomorrow everything will be normal again. nothing changed, it wasn't real.

«i-i know you didn't mean it»

«i did. fucking leave. take your shit out of here soon»

i'm incomplete. i'm only complete with you

you know me so please, hold my unstable heart

«this is my apartment too»

«then i'll leave! throw all my stuff. enjoy your apartment, you can be free again»

he walked to the door with his phone and wallet, leaving the place with a heavy silent. you stared at the door, expecting to see him trying to apologize, but that didn't happen. you even imagined everything was a really mean joke, that he didn't mean something like that. you can't lie of loving someone for almost six months.

you tried so hard to keep him happy. you tried everything, but at the end, he didn't even love you as much as you did. all your wishes were just a pure thought of hope. it wasn't real. you just wanted a little of his love.

a last kiss.

a last hug.

a last minute of his life.

i want your love, please love me. that's all i wish for

so let's love more in the future

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for Friends to Lovers with Rodrick Heffley

Rodrick Heffley x reader

warnings: mentions of a bad home life

a/n: YALL I FUVKING DID IT AND IM TERRIFIED OF THE REPERCUSSIONS

prompt: y/n and rodrick have been friends for a long time, so long boundaries seem to be blurred

you’ve actually known rodrick since elementary school

it all started when he asked you to join his band

“i can play drums, you can play the tambourine because that’s the only other instrument i have! it’ll be wicked!”

your band lasted a week and only had one gig, it was for rodrick’s parents

who LOVED you by the way

they somehow permitted you to sleepover almost every other day, you practically lived at their house

FOR YEARS you did this

terrorizing lil greg

“what’s he gonna do, pee his diaper?”

“rodrick!!!”

always trick or treating together, exchanging candy when you got back go his house (or occasionally yours)

you guys didnt like hanging at your house, your parents were kind of....a lot to handle

starting middle school together, wreaking havoc on all the teachers

rodrick did it to impress you, according to mr. and mrs. heffley

but he’d give you a stupid little smirk from across the classroom after he got scolded so you believed them

whenever anyone gave you shit at school, rodrick wouldn’t hesitate to step in and show them who’s boss

“rodrick, you’re gonna get detention again!”

“yeah, well, i’m not gonna let them be mean to you”

you went to his house after school most days, sometimes you’d get there first while he was in detention

mrs. heffley had after school snacks

“y/n, why don’t you play some video games with greg while you wait for rodrick to get home?”

playing wii sports with greg, who cried when you won

you also had time to do homework while you waited, rodrick usually copied afterwards

when rodrick came home, he’d drag you to the garage to show you his drum skills

he hit himself in the head with his drumstick

“ooh, that’s gonna leave a mark”

next step was high school, which was a weird step up

but you guys had each other

you still spent most nights at the heffley residence, but you had to sleep on the couch instead of on the floor in the attic (aka rodricks lair)

“you two are growing up, so we think it’s best that you don’t sleep in the same room together, right?”

rodrick emptied one of his drawers for you to put your clothes in

but you still end up stealing his clothes half the time

“i wish i could be mad, but you wear all of my clothes better than me”

subconsciously doing couple-y things without realizing it

like rodrick would pull you closer to him when you two were together, put his arm around you, give you his jacket, etc

“are you guys serious? you’ve got to be dating!” -everyone

“rodrick, when are you and y/n going to get together?” -mr. and mrs. heffley

the answer was always the same: “we’re just friendssssss”

watching his band practice and cheering him on no matter what

you’re his guest vocals ☺️

when he got the van, it was a whole new world for you guys

you could go out wherever whenever

(with parent approval usually)

“wanna go ride around for a little while? hit a gas station and get a bunch of candy?”

“do you even have to ask?”

watching scary movies in his room

“platonic” cuddling in his bed

stuffing your face in the crook of his neck during scary scenes

“come on, y/n! it’s not that bad!”

him having to hold onto you for comfort so you’d keep watching with him

sometimes falling asleep together and his mom or dad coming to check on you later

“alright, time for bed! y/n, you get your usual couch...”

laughing your ass off at rodrick when he messes with greg

manny loves you, sometimes rodrick is jealous of the attention you give to his baby brother instead of him

rodrick scooping you up in his arms when you least expect it, never fails to make you scream

“hey there, hot stuff”

“you’re impossible!”

roller skating together, he held your hand the whole time bc he was worried you’d fall

his friends ENDLESSLY taunt him over your relationship

when he makes plans with others, he always says “let me ask y/n first” which just SENDS his friends oh my god

“dude, that’s your s/o!”

“no, they’re not! shut up!”

hating being apart a lot its so stressful

sometimes you’d have a pretty hard time at home and show up to his house at odd hours, but you were always welcome

you have your own key

“hey, what’s wrong?”

“my parents...they’re just the worst”

rodrick knows its bad when you start crying

he took you up to his room and played some music (quietly as not to wake the house)

you laid on top of him while he rubbed your back and told you that he was there for you

dozing off on him, as per usual

dude, the amount of pictures you have? astronomical

you playing his drums, the two of you going 🤘, an actual nice picture of you guys, him carrying you on his back, kiddos on your first day of school by year, you kissing his cheek “platonically”

comforting him when he was having his own hard times, whether it be an argument with his parents/greg, difficulties with musical inspiration, or anything else

“come here, you need a hug”

“i need several”

“you’ll get ‘em”

talent show! talent show! talent show!

you completely cussed out the rest of his band before they went on bc they had the audacity to replace him

but greg managed to save the day

“greg, my dude, give me a high five, that was awesome”

he wasn’t actually half bad but like, his mom kinda stole the show

more joyrides in the van

absolutely BLASTING the music in there while you and rodrick sat on the floor in the back and ate the taco bell you’d just picked up

“dude, you gotta try my potato griller, it’s a godsend”

“okay, but try this slushie, its so good. i mean, not as good as a 7-eleven slushie, but it’s up there”

finishing your food and laying in the van for another hour bc you just loved each other’s company

but after sitting together alone for so long, you felt like there was something left to do, what was it?

you and rodrick were moving around a bunch and ended up next to each other sitting against the wall of the van

you looked over at each other and hesitated before leaning in to kiss

and you guys kissed for a while

okay, so, you made out on the floor of his van with led zeppelin playing in the background

✨magical✨

it wasn’t awkward or anything, just long overdue

okay it was a little awkward actually

“well, that was” *clears throat* “that was cool or whatever”

“yeah...wanna do it again?”

“oh, for sure”

not like it was a surprise to anyone when you announced you were FINALLY dating

“wait, you guys just started dating? i thought you’d been together for like, at least 5 years” -mr. heffley

“this is great! obviously, we’ll need to set up some boundaries so that everyone is comfortable and safe, but yay for young love!” -mrs. heffley

“gross” -greg

mrs. heffley wrote a column in the newspaper about you titled “my teenage son’s fantastic significant other”

not much changed after you and rodrick got together, just kissing, “i love you’s” and more teasing from friends and school faculty

“we were all rooting for you two, actually!” -the teachers

summer vacation with him

it was always SWEET

going to the pool together, he’d usually lay out on the chairs with you but you were able to drag him into the pool a few times

“come onnnn, it’ll be funnnn”

“you’re lucky you’re cute”

hugs from behind!!! kisses on the top of ur head!!!!

PROM AH HAH HAH

seeing rodrick in a tux was too funny for you, you almost couldn’t stop laughing (especially at the eyeliner he insisted on wearing)

but he just couldn’t stop staring at you

“rodrick!”

“what?! you’re stunning!”

honestly, prom wasn’t all it was cracked up to be

you danced like maniacs for a few songs and ended up ditching early on

but you did end up renting a bunch of movies and getting tonssss of snacks and changing into pajamas as soon as you got to his house

im talking popcorn, candy bars, ice cream, cans of pop, chips, chicken nuggets and so on

and also passing out on each other

“i think i love you a little more, i didn’t know that was possible”

“i have that effect on people”

he makes u breakfast before his mom gets the chance though

“pancakes? for me?”

“i put chocolate chips in them too, you’re gonna love them”

(they were a lil bit burned, still good tho)

you guys really did just spot on get each other

okay but i know you also roast each other sometimes so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

relationship goals, honestly

fresh outta ideas 🤠 goodnight

[adoresobs]

- the other pov! ( 𝐓.𝐂 )

the reader’s a singer and after listening to her good friend, harry’s song ‘falling’, she decides to make the other person’s pov which she relates to because of her recent breakup with timmy.

THIS FIC CONTAINS just angst mostly

can’t tell if i love or hate this but i decided to give something new a try and this is how it turned out-

part one | part two | part three 

𝐌 𝐀 𝐒 𝐓 𝐄 𝐑 𝐋 𝐈 𝐒 𝐓

THE SONG

you set up your phone, pressing the ‘go live’ button, watching as the comments began to fill up with countless compliments already.

“hey guys!” you tried your best to be the usual bubbly person your fans saw even with the breakup still being fresh in your mind. you grew closer to the phone to read the comments.

userone quarantine got everyone looking rough

“damn, do i look that bad?” you laughed, pushing some of your hair behind your ear. you could what they meant, your hair was tied in a ‘ponytail’ or just a mop on top of your head, no makeup was on your face, and you had on sweats. you could say you didn’t dress up at all.

usertwo u still look gorgeous queen it’s fiNe

userthree did u and timmy actually break up or is teen vogue playing with my feelings

userfour k but what’s with these articles ‘y/n l/n and timothée chalamet call it quits?!’

that was only a fraction of the comments you were receiving about him. you let out a nervous laugh, biting down on your lip. “okay, so, the reason i started this up was to show you all something i’ve been working on. if you know harry’s beyond amazing self and you listen to his music then you know falling which is also amazing. wellll, i made a slight remake of it? but it’s like from the other person’s point of view.” you explained.

userfive did u and timmy actually break up ):

usersix we writing sad songs now-

“yes, we are writing sad songs now,” you said with a small laugh. “no but all credits and shit go to harry and if you don’t listen to him, you should. he’s a really good friend of mine and you’re missing out if you don’t.”

userseven baby ur such a good person

usereight i want a y/n, she’s so supportive

usernine still dodging questions about timothée huh

“thank you for wanting a..me?” you giggled before turning to your piano. “okay, so i can play it but i’m not the best at piano so spare me, please.”

userten shes so precious

usereleven timothée lost all this

usertwelve how does she still look gorgeous without trying

your smile faltered at the comment about your ex. “alright, i’m gonna start.” you told the thousands of people watching, looking down at the keys and beginning to play.

“i’m in my bed, instead of yours, cried to sleep, turned off all of the lights and locked all of the doors.”

you remembered the day after everything went down. you barely got out of bed unless it was to use the bathroom. the most you did was cry and sleep when you couldn’t cry anymore.

“i replay what you said, don’t know if it’s true, left with two broken hearts and there’s nothing that we can undo.”

“i don’t want to be with you another.” timothée said, breaking the silence. you’d spent hours arguing about pointless things, it escalated the longer the fight went on. you just looked up at him, trying to scan his face, see if he truly wanted this. his head was facing the ground so you couldn’t read his expression. “this isn’t gonna work out for much longer and we both know that so i’ll just save us the trouble of going through this later on.”

“what am i now? what am i now? don’t wanna cry ‘cause i can’t stand the sound,”

you cringed at the screaming baby in the supermarket, catching timothée’s eye quickly. “little loud for you?” he asked, a smile on his face.

“i can’t stand the sound of crying so yes, it is.” you shot back, reaching over to hit his arm. timothée rubbed his arm, flipping you off.

“wouldn’t have guessed since you cry almost everyday.” he joked which made you gasp.

“i would appreciate it if i wasn’t being attacked by my boyfriend right now.”

“i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

userthirteen she’s really making me cry like this

userfourteen truly think she did this because of the breakup with timmy ):

userfifteen about to go fuck up his perfect face if he hurt my baby

“what if i’m down? what if i’m out? what if you’re someone i can’t live without?”

“are you gonna admit that you love me or are we gonna have to keep doing this hate thing?” timothée asked after you’d stated you hated him for the third time that day. “mm, i think i’m gonna stick with the hate thing.” you answered, letting out a laugh.

“okay, y/n, i’m gonna need you to repeat after me.”

“mhm.” you decided to play whatever game he was playing.

“i, y/n l/n”

“i, y/n l/n,” you repeated.

“love mr. timothée chalamet and cannot live without him.”

“hate mr. timothée chalamet and definitely can live without him because he sucks.”

“i don’t recall that being what i said?”

“oh, really? tough luck.” you teased.

“i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

usersixteen u sound so gOOD BABY

userseventeen i wasn’t even in the relationship and i’m about to cry

usereighteen can u- make a song with harry though-

“you said you cared, but i never knew, before i heard your lyrics, i didn’t even have a clue.”

“hey, y/n?” timothée muttered. he wasn’t sure if you were alseep or not since you were sprawled out on his chest and clinging to him. he couldn’t see if your eyes were open until you lifted you head up so it was face to face with his. “hm?” you asked.

“you know i care about you, right?”

“pfft, of course not.” even in your sleepy state, you still made jokes with him.

timothée almost groaned at your words, “i’m serious, okay?”

“i know, i know. i care about you too.” you laid your head back on chest and fell asleep comfortably in his arms. you slept great especially knowing that you were cared for.

“now everytime somebody says your name, i remember the day where i ran out of reasons to stay.”

“you don’t think this is working out?” you asked, your voice was low. you didn’t want this conversation to be happening. why couldn’t you just go back to before? where everything was good. you were happy.

timothée shook his head, not even bothering to look you in the eyes.

“so, that’s it?” you asked with a bitter laugh. “it’s over that quick. you’re not even fighting for us! shows how much this really meant to you.”

“oh, cmon on, y/n. we both knew that this was gonna fall apart when it started. we don’t work and that’s all.”

“we both knew? or just you?”

“what am i now? what am i now? don’t wanna cry ‘cause i can’t stand the sound, i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

zendaya shut up you sound SO GOOD

arianagrande so proud of u xx

usernineteen completely forgot she was friends with them-

“what if i’m down? what if i’m out? what if you’re someone i can’t live without? i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

usertwenty everyone appreciate this talented queen

usertwentyone this is where my favorite part comes up, everyone shut uP

usertwentytwo can i be u pls

“can i do this alone without ever needing you again?”

“admit you need me and i’ll help you.” timothée said, teasing you which he had been doing for the last ten minutes.

“this would be fine if i had subtitles but you won’t give me the damn remote.” you huffed. the movie was fully in french which you couldn’t understand. timothée didn’t want to turn on the subtitles since you refused to let him teach you french.

“admit it and the remote is all yours.”

“i need you because without you, i would have a very fun life without having to worry about knowing french.” you fired which only made timothée roll his eyes.

“no remote for y/n.” he said, turning back to the movie leaving you to whine about it.

“what am i now? what am i now? what will i do now that you’re not around? i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling”

you had never been so unproductive and bored in your life. that was something he was amazing at - encouraging and motivating you to do your best and take on the day no matter how juch you didn’t want to. now that he wasn’t here, there hardly felt like you had anohter reason to do said things. you were alone twenty four seven.

“what if i’m down? what if i’m out? maybe you’re someone i won’t talk about, i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

your thoughts wandered back to all of the comments you neglected to answer. you didn’t want to talk about him and you were he didn’t want to talk about you. you finished, ending the song before turning back to your phone. you scrolled through the comments, seeing all the ones you missed while playing. “thank you z! and i love you, ari.” you said with a laugh.

usertwentythree when i see him, it’s on sight

usertwentyfour anyways u sounded so gOOD AND IM SO PROUD OF U!!

your heart warmed at the sweet comment, your face immediately heating up. “look, now i’m blushing. thank you lovely!”

harrystyles you sounded better than me

harrystyles think it’s your song now

usertwentyfive her and harry’s friendship >>

“miss you, harold!” you exclaimed. “but, i think i’m gonna end this. thank you all for liking it.” you said and ended the live.

the next morning your phone was blowing up. screenrecordings and videos of you singing were everywhere. there were even articles considering it your way of saying that you and timothée broke up. people on twitter were tweeting at you, mainly nice things which is what you only cared about.

your friends were blowing up your texts messages, screaming how proud they were of you. you were almost to the point of tears until you saw one message in particular.

my angel boy: hey

[khaleesiofalicante]

oh my god, Belial's dead...

like

dead dead

or as dead as you can get

a bunch of avatar enthusiastic kids killed a prince of hell...

holy shit

WHAT ABOUT TESSA

For some reason, they all looked at Rafael.

He had missed that.

People trusting him. People relying on him. People looking for his guidance.

IT IS RAFE'S POV

I just saw the song rec's Achilles come down...

😄

he's back...im gonna cry

PLEASE SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET HIM CAUGHT UP

Of course, it had been Georgia. He pulled his cousin closer and hugged her tightly, lifting her off the ground. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

AWWW OMG THEM

“I was supposed to save her,” Rafael said with a small smile. “But she saved me.”

“But you did save her Rafael,” Selena said earnestly. “You saved everyone. If you hadn’t broken the Covenant and done those tests, we would have never gotten here.”

just...him

im so...im going to cry I missed him so damn much

but seriously though, why do the good ones get branded as the bad ones and the bad ones get away with shit

“I can’t believe all this suffering happened because of Raziel,” Rafael said hotly. “Immature piece of shit.”

EXACTLY

STUPID BASTARD

“Selena. It’s David,” Max chuckled. “You could kill him for real and he would still not hold it against you.”

someone protect him

FINE I'LL DO IT

“You can have the whole damn thing,” Lexi said sincerely. “I’ll cut off my wings and give them to you if you asked.”

OH MY GOD, THIS IS SO-

I need better friends

“A toenail,” Lexi said dryly.

“Or saliva,” Georgia shrugged.

or something a little more dignified

but someone please check on Tessa

max what is it??

THE SEASHELL

BUT LEVI GAVE IT TO YOU

OH

OH

OH

HAIR

discord sent me a message and told me to calm down and that I was sending texts too fast...

“We don’t,” Max said. “But I…I don’t think Leviathan would lie to me.”

“Right,” Selena said dryly. “Because princes of hell are known for their honesty.”

right? how could I forget

“So, you are an eldest curse, huh?” Rafael said, his throat seizing up with tears. “You are such an attention hoe.”

“You literally died while I was grieving my boyfriend,” Max pointed out. “If anyone is an attention hoe, it’s you.”

OH MY GOD I MISSED THESE TWO SO MUCH

well now I am crying for completely different reasons but not the point

But Rafael couldn’t focus on any of those things.

He could only focus on the two people standing at the very end of the main hall.

The moment Rafael’s eyes fell on them, he ran.

He ran to them like he had his whole life.

One moment, he was running – pushing and shoving people out of his way.

The next, he found himself back home.

In the arms of his parents.

OH MY GOD HE'S HOME

HE'S BACK

HE'S ACTUALLY BACK

im crying

For they were his everything.

His everything. His light. His love.

JSZUIUISDHUID SCREAMING

not really because it's 12 47 am

BUT SCREAMING

their reunion is the whole reason im staying up on a Tuesday night when I have school in the morning

I can't even skip tomorrow 😭

“You are not allowed to die again,” bapak said – very seriously.

Rafael laughed.

Then dad joined the hug, clutching the two of them tightly.

the pain is so good

it's good pain.

hurts all the same though

but omg them...

he's home

ANJALI

Y'ALL IT'S HER

To say her name. To feel it on his lips.

But it wasn’t just a name to him.

It was a prayer. A promise. An oath.

I have decided to not settle for anything less

this is so beautiful. their love

Anjali turned around and glared at the Consul.

She glared at the fucking Consul.

oh my god queen

He realized how much pain she must have been in. And he realized that he had caused her that pain.

It almost hurt as much as dying.

THEIR LOVE

I LITERALLY DO NOT HAVE WORDS ANYMORE

“I didn’t ask for a fucking apology, Santiago,” Anjali growled. “Where is my fucking kiss?”

THERE IT IS

I WAS WAITING

this is the single most romantic shit I have ever read

AMOR

HE CALLED HER AMOR

“Did any of these other suitors come back from the dead just so they can kiss you?” Rafael asked, pressing a kiss to her collarbone.

AHHHH

“Do you think you’d be a little nicer to me when we start dating?” he asked, kissing her behind her ear.

“Not a fucking chance,” she replied.

He chuckled at that. “Good.”

ONE OF MY FAVORITE THING IN BOOKS IS WHEN THE MC SLOWLY KISSES THEIR WAY TO THE LOVE INTEREST'S LIPS LIKE IT'S SO SWEET

AND IT'S IN HERE

Im hungry.

“If you don’t kiss me right now, I’m going to throw you out of the fucking window,” Anjali said.

“There are no windows in the Sanctuary,”

AHHHHH OH MY GOD

He knew Anjali was the least fragile person to exist. But he held her gently anyway.

For she carried his heart inside her. So, he wanted to be careful.

IM ACTUALLY GONNA COMBUST SO MANY FEELINGS

pinning these two lines

It overwhelmed him.

The fact that he was actually kissing Anjali.

The fact that she wanted him just as much as he did.

The fact that he was here – that he was back.

The fact that he could do it in again – in the next five minutes, the next hour, next day, next week.

He realized that he gets to be the one to kiss her for the rest of her life.

He realized that he gets to kiss her like this for the rest of his life.

And suddenly, Rafael was so, so glad he wasn’t dead anymore.

im literally speechless. I don't even know what to say...it's so so beautiful

It wasn’t the Accords Hall kiss he had hoped for.

But it was everything.

IM GONNA CRY

fuck

fuck fuck fuck

council meeting...

What was more surprising was that it had been Rafael who had called for the Council meeting.

His son – his baby – his come back from the dead and hugged all of them (and even kissed certain people apparently) and had called for a meeting as if he did this every other week.

he's back. he's home...

ALSO, ALEC SAID "my baby" WHEN HE GOT BACK

rafe is gonna be such a great leader...

I can't fucking believe some people

Magnus had never really been attached to Idris in any way. But there were some good memories attached to the place.

The memory of Alec kissing him in the Accords Hall.

The memory of them finding Max.

im making noodles

I MEAN YES GOOD MEMORIES

“Jace,” it was Jem who spoke up – his tone careful. “If you want to put this behind you and keep moving forward, then you need to admit that it happened. A part of doing that is ensuring the world knows what happened and what did not. We all know rumors can destroy lives. Let’s not make Selena’s life any harder, okay?”

he's right...

we need to get this over with now

A chorus of excited yelling and hooting went around the room. Someone even yelled ‘fuck yeah, go Georgia!’. Even Alec looked a little thrilled by all of it.

RIGHT??

LET'S ALL CELEBRATE GEORGIA LIGHTWOOD LOVELACE

OUR PRECIOUS GEM

“Maybe Asmodeus has hair fall problems.

PLEASE-

I got my food

Personally, Magnus, who had watched generations of nephilim do the same thing, had found it to be a little hypocritical.

But since his own children had been a part of that team, he had understood the reaction. He had understood the fear.

thank you for being the rational one

alec you had a panic attack???

“Wait,” the man had said after a while. “Does this mean you and Max are related?”

“He is my son,” Magnus had pointed out incredulously. “Of course, we are related.”

“Our son,” Alec had corrected with a smile. “Fuck Leviathan. Max is ours.”

“Max is ours,” Magnus had whispered, clutching his husband tightly.

EXACTLY FUCK LEVIATHAN

MAX IS THEIRS

He knew what the children had achieved was incredible and next to impossible. He knew they had made history today.

He knew that the nephilim were feeling invincible right now, having defeated and successfully killed a prince of hell.

He knew they were currently riding that euphoria and were feeling like they can take over the world.

yes but they CANNOT fight Asmodeus feeling like this

they feel invincible. you don't fight a prince of hell with that attitude

Plenty doesn’t even begin to cover it, Magnus thought. God, they had no idea what they were getting into.

exactly.

im worried.

this is suicide

“I cannot say if this is wise or not,” Alec answered honestly. “All I can say is that if the roles were reversed, if it had been any one of you, David would be marching to hell right now.”

YES

HE WOULD ALREADY BE THERE BARGAINING WITH HIS LIFE

HAS SOMEONE CHECKED UP ON TESSA???

HAS ANYONE TOLD CAMILA HE'S ALIVE??

“We have each other,” Rafael said. “That’s what matters.”

“That’s a sweet sentiment, boy,” Kingsley sneered. “But I am afraid sentiment is not going to get you through battle.”

I can't believe im about to agree with Kingsley

OH TESSA IS ALIVE AND WELL

These stupid nephilim.

yes.

MAGNUS NO

NO SELF SACRIFICE

“Bapak!” Rafael gasped and pulled himself away from the girl. “Uh. Anjali needed help with something.”

Magnus smiled at that. “With her lipstick?”

JHSDYUHFDYUUYIDFDJHUDHUD SCREAM

I CHOKED ON SPICY NOODLES FUCKS

BURNS

Ah yes. When the sphincter at the top of the stomach said "yeah no" and the food got pushed up into the esophagus

it has a name...

idr

“You’re scared,” Rafael said softly.

Magnus looked up at that. Rafael had always been good at reading people.

“Anjali was dying, and I almost lost everything trying to save her,” Rafael said quietly. “And you are scared Max is going to do the same.”

“I don’t want him to get hurt,” Magnus whispered. “I’m just trying to help him.”

He's back now...

“Just because we can help people, it doesn’t mean we should,” Rafael said gently. “Sometimes people need to help themselves. And we need to let them.”

WHAT

RAFE YOU ARE RIGHT YES I AGREE

BUT

THEY ALREADY TALKED AND DECIDED???

FUCK NO

MAX NO

no no no

alec's gonna fucking lose it

don't

don't please don't go

Max looked up at that. His face sad now. “You sometimes don’t realize how much you mean to other people, bapak.”

Maybe.

he means so much to all of us

don't go

“I tried to write Alec a letter,” Magnus said, his voice breaking. “But, uh, I didn’t really know what to say. Will you tell him though? Tell him I am sorry.”

I am sorry for leaving you.

I am sorry for ending our story this way.

I am sorry for giving up.

I am sorry for bringing this pain to our family.

STOP FOR FUCK'S SAKE NO

I cant please no

There was so much he wanted to say to his son.

Don’t let the nephilim get you down.

Always listen to Ragnor – even when he is annoying.

Eat more vegetables. Not just protein.

Remember to tell David you love him. Every day.

Watch out for Rafe. He thinks with his heart now.

Love Alec. Love him so much that he won’t miss me.

He wanted to say so much. So much. But he couldn’t figure out which ones were most important.

don't leave...please

im crying stop, please

There were things he wanted to say. Things he wanted to do.

He wanted to tell Alec to go on that vacation – even without Magnus.

He wanted to ask Rafael to never be afraid to follow his heart again – maybe not get killed again too.

He wanted to tell Ragnor thank you – for everything.

He wanted to tell his friends that he loved them and that he was grateful for everything they had given him and showed him.

He wanted to tell the kids to be good – and to keep being so badass and make Uncle Magnus proud.

He wanted to tell Chairman to be a good boy.

He wanted to tell Max not to feel guilty – about any of it.

He wanted and wanted and wanted.

Now that he realized he no longer had any time left, he suddenly wanted so much.

STOP IT I CANNOT READ FURTHER

NOT WHEN IT'S MAX DOING THIS

FFS DON'T

JUST DON'T

WE'LL FIND A WAY

anything but this

max don't do this

please

MAX NO PLEASE

PLEASE DO NOT

the talk with rafe hurt so much

please don't do this

he's going alone???

max...

max what are you doing

“We are thrilled, actually. Lilith almost send the New York Institute a fruit basket,” Asmodeus chuckled.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

IDFC YOU'RE A PRINCE OF HELL

HE'S YOUR BROTHER

“Then how did you manage to translate is not general incivility the very essence of love?”

David put the book away. “Do not quote Pride and Prejudice at me, Max Lightwood-Bane. You know what it does to me.”

“Oh, Elizabeth,” Max said dramatically. “My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

“Max,” David said seriously, although the blush on his face was giving away his act. “Stop that.”

DAVID YOU AMAZING ANGEL

David could never hate you

no matter what you did

DAVID YOU'RE A FUCKING GIANT

“The thing!” Max laughed. “You do this thing when you are frustrated – which admittedly doesn’t happen a lot because you are a paragon of patience and understanding. But sometimes when someone pushes you too much, you do this thing. You push your hair back from your face with a single hand. You just…You just thread it back and it goes through your fingers and shit, and it slips through your fingers like water, and you bit into your lower lip and the hair just stays there and it’s just…it’s perfect.”

that is so freaking cute how he noticed that

im sorry, he passed out after seeing David naked for the first time?

I just opened a height comparison chart

gimme a sec

oh my god he's so tiny

“Do you know what stops me?”

“Possible imprisonment?” David asked dryly.

Max chuckled. “You.”

WHAT THEY HAVE DFUHDUFHIUIHDRG

sigh looks like im not sleeping tonight

“I don’t know what that feels like,” David said when he finally spoke.

Max frowned in confusion.

“Not love you,” David clarified. “I don’t know what it feels like to not love you.”

“Oh,” Max said.

“I have loved you from the very beginning. Each day a little more, but never any less,” David said softly. “I don’t remember a day I wasn’t in love with you, Max. So, I don’t know what that feels like. Because since the day I started loving you, I haven’t stopped. I don’t plan to stop. Ever. Do you understand me? It doesn’t matter how crazy you get. I won’t stop.”

oh my god, this...

I love their love

WHAT HUH

WHY IS DAVID SCREAMING

EXPLAIN

Asmodeus chuckled. “Well, for starters he was the least likely to cause trouble. I mean look at the boy, he isn’t even bothered he is in hell. He doesn’t fight back. He doesn’t try to escape. David is no threat to me.”

Most people thought that of David.

They thought he was gentle and careful and soft and harmless.

David was all things of course.

But he was something else too.

He was a lover.

He loved and loved and loved – with everything inside him.

And people who loved that much were truly the most dangerous of them all.

For love was the biggest strength and greatest weakness.

In that sense, Asmodeus should be afraid of David more than anyone else.

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND YES

YES YES YES

He hated when people pitied siblings against each other - comparing them and antagonizing them and distancing them.

RIGHT????

I mean yes I want to kill him but I will also always have his back

MAX NO DO NOT SAY THAT ALOUD

NO, STOP IT

I AM GONNA CRY

SOMEONE STAB ME I WANNA SEE IF IT WOULD HURT LESS

David thought of that moment as the one he had fallen in love with Max – when he had realized ‘this is it and he is it’.

AWWW

He had seen a sad face and used his magic to make them smile.

David had always cherished people like that. People who used their power for good. People who made others smile without expecting anything in return.

right? they are something else

IM GONNA SCREAM-

PLEASE NOT MAGNUS

FUCK EVERYTHING

IDC ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW

“Magnus took away your magic,” Asmodeus said. “And now that Rafael is back, he would barely even remember you.”

NO

THAT IS NOT FUCKING TRUE

BUT YOU WON'T KNOW THAT WOULD YOU?

what do you know of love and good parenting anyway?

max

max wtf did you do

im actually stunned

I think I might just end up skipping school...

I mean the junior classes are doing a Christmas play where we are invited and there is our concert to prepare for and EDCC and chemistry equations we'll do tomorrow but it's mostly extracurricular...

I can skip...

I need a day to comprehend this

NO

PLEASE MAGNUS NO

Tell me this is a trick. something they came up with early on

“You command me to get on my knees and demand willingness?” Magnus hissed. “You really are a fucked-up piece of shit.”

YES HONEY TELL HIM

Magnus is being his sassy self yes

im trying to convince me everything's fine

MINA

OH MY GOD MINA

IT WAS MINA

IM GONNA-

OH MY GOD

I ACTUALLY SOBBED OUT

MAX WHAT ARE YOU DOING

FUCK

“I realized he is scared of you,” Max hissed. “My father. Magnus Bane. The best thing to happen to the shadow world. He is scared of a piece of shit like you. You did that to him. You haunted him his entire life.”

“He is my son!” Asmodeus yelled.

“And he is scared of you!” Max yelled right back. “Children are not supposed to be terrified of their parents.”

it's a horrible feeling and not something a child should feel all the time. you did that to him

“He is my son,” Asmodeus said again. “He belongs to me.”

alright Aegus calm down

that was the name of Hermia's father right? from midsummer night's dream

idk this reminded me of this

“My bapak has only ever shown me love,” Max whispered. “I know what it feels like to grow up safe . My father never had that and he never will – not as long as you exist!”

“Your father took your magic,” Asmodeus said incredulously.

“I know how fucked up that is,” Max said. “But I also know what it means to be terrified. I know what it means to love and to forgive. I know what it means to be human. You will not understand any of this.”

I knew I could trust you max...

I had genuinely lost faith in you actually

but we make crazy choices when we're scared

not an excuse though

max what are you doing

max stop it that is enough

“He is pissing him off,” Mina whispered next to him in horror. “Max is trying to piss off Asmodeus.”

WE REALIZED MINA

leviathan yes indeed

oh my god smart ass

he's so smart but oh my god WE COULD DO THIS WITHOUT CAUSING A HEART ATTACK THIS IS NOT AN INDIA VS PAKISTAN CRICKET MATCH MAX

NO NEED TO MAKE OUR HEARTS RACE

so many shadowhunters

they came

they came oh my god

Max hadn’t just brought his friends to Edom.

Max had brought the entire shadow world.

i am about to scream

that was so fucking cool

MAX YOU OK?? THE DREAM! MAGNUS' DREAM

if he ends up dying after all this istg

Me reading your chapter reactions is basically how I reread the chapter before doing the chapter setting for the next one lmao.

So thank you for your service ily.

[zanessaconfessions]

You should put the paragraph , the guy have been working in Hollywood since 2002 and people still say he got no talent, he would have not lasted this long if he was “talentless”.

warning: long paragraph.

ps im not bias rn. these are my unfiltered thoughts when i watch his films because i always take myself out of the context that this is zac efron. but more of that this is an actor trying to succeed in playing his roles.

the fact zac was in theatre during his school days proved he was really in it for acting since the beginning. he was known as the theatre dork. from i learned about acting, you really have to put yourself out there and have no fear about expressing yourself. that’s what zac did and learned. he went to star in cw shows tho. he literally went to serious acting and got roles like a patient getting shot. a kid who had daddy issues. at that young age, he was already trained and used to acting in serious roles. you get me?

in hsm. he was still new to disney. and the plot was in a disney standard. meaning it wasn’t deep. yet he manages to put into troy’s character. that’s why troy is like a meme now. zac’s serious acting mixed with a disney musical isn’t balanced out. because disney doesn’t put more meaning into their films like cw or netflix. the way zac portrayed troy was amazing. he put so much emotion and thought onto troy. he knew troy was so much more than a basketball captain.

esp in hsm3. he outshined everyone. no kidding. troy’s character was being showed so he has to make a transition of hsm troy to hsm 3 troy. where he is gonna portray a vulnerable phase for troy. his voice in the songs were raw and emotional. right here right now. scream. can i have this dance. even the boys are back. you could identify what troy was feeling because he didn’t hold back. listen closely to his songs in hsm 3 and you see why i cried.

because no offence. he was a better actor than the rest of the cast. vanessa was a close second (that’s for a different reason). mainly because he had a lot of acting experience than ashley and the rest.

in 17 again. he really got his acting chops. the scene where mike tells scarlet about his letter at court made me emotional. it was the first time i saw him cry. and he really did a great job because it wasn’t cringey nor was it too much.

in csc. he really broke me. i can see why vanessa was proud of him. the way he played charlie was something that should’ve taken his disney image off him completely. esp that fight scene at the bar. like pls yes NDJSJ his rage was god tier.

but in EWSEV was like *drop dead*. he really did an amazing job at portraying ted. he almost convinced me his character was really innocent. which was his intention because ted used his charms to prove he was innocent. and zac should’ve got an oscar for it but it was a netflix film so rip.

i could say more about his other films like TGS, baywatch, TLO, the paperboy, at any price. but i feel like the ones i mentioned above really showed his acting range.

which is why he wanted to stay away from musicals for a while. he wanted to be treated as a serious actor. yet his looks and hsm didnt do any good to him.

in short he always understands the assignment.

[awesamblr]

PART TWO OF GHOSTBUR!!! Since you seemed to like the first one! :D

They all pause for a moment to take in what they just heard.

Wilbur...? Doesn't remember them...?

Tommy is the first one to speak up, sounding more hurt and confused with just an edge of anger to the words. "We...We're your family, Wilbur!! Wil- ...Wil are you-" Tommy doesn't want to believe that Wilbur doesn't remember them, he doesn't want that... "Wil, you better not be fucking with us-" he starts again, sounding more angry, fresh tears beginning to fall. "Cause if you are, I swear to god-"

And he stops as he finds a hand on his shoulder. Tommy turns and finds Techno.

"Tommy...he doesn't remember us Tommy..."

Wilbur shifts around, floating around slightly and awkwardly. "Y-you all seem to care a whole lot..." his hand moves to his chest. "I can't remember how I died...I can hardly remember anything...I'm so sorry if you knew me well..."

Tommy gets angry again- calling it anger is a disservice to the emotional turmoil, he was upset and scared and happy and so so sad- and Techno gets ready to hold him back again when another voice interrupts them.

"Knew you...?" It was Phil... "Knew you??" He pulled up his hanging head and tears ran freely. "Hell, Wilbur- I RAISED YOU!! I know you better than I know myself!! Wilbur, don't you recognize me? Recognize us?" He takes a step toward Wil and so much pain and hurt reflects in Phil's eyes- it hurt to look at them. "Wilbur we're your family! Those are your brothers...!! And I'm-" he remembers the explosion, the pleading of his son- kill me, kill me, please kill me- and takes a shattered breath. "And I'm your father."

Wilbur looks around at the broken family.

A boy who looks as if he once held his entire world in his hands, only to have it melt through his fingers and spill to the floor.

A man who looks like chaos incarnate, now heavy with guilt and shame, a horrible tiredness running through him endlessly.

A boy who looks as though he'd been through hell and back with a smile on his face, still trying to be happy for others around him.

A man who looks as though he had the world. As though he had absolutely everything. And now his everything was gone.

And Wilbur speaks. "Was..." he gulps in a breath at the teary eyes, almost not wanting to know the answer to the question on his tongue. "Was I a good brother?"

Memories flood the minds of the family.

Tommy recalls times of when him and Wilbur would make huge pillow forts when they were younger and of how whenever Tommy was upset, Wil would come up behind him and lay himself over his shoulders in a lazy gesture- not quite a hug, but something that felt the same.

Tommy also remembered Wilbur, eyes alive with insanity and agressive cruelty. The Wilbur that would scream at Tommy and pound his fist against the wall and tell Tommy that he was hopeless.

Techno remembers times in his life where him and Wilbur would sneak out of the house together to go hunt mobs- Wilbur never really wanted to be there, but Techno would never have gone without him. He remembered how when Techno would lock himself in his room and quietly panic, only to hear the calm strummings of a guitar from the other side of the door until Techno calmed down.

Techno also remembered the Wilbur that wanted to blow up Manburg, that wanted Techno's help in it's destruction. The Wilbur that craved chaos and hurt and pain. The Wilbur he had helped to destroy good.

Tubbo recalls times after he was adopted into the family, times where he would struggle with reading and writing and Wilbur would silently walk over and help him. He remembers times when he feels lost and Wilbur would pass by him humming a tune Tubbo would recognize, and soon the two of them would be singing loudly in the livingroom and laugh when Phil came down and yelled at them.

Tubbo also remembered Wilbur, actions shaky and plagued as he spouted on and on about Manburg and L'manburg and would sing stuttering and manic lyrics to a half-finished song and scribling them to a wall of his insanity.

Phil remembered Wilbur, the moment he came into Phil's life, the moments that he would have to wrangle the pure-hearted chaos of the boy with eyes that sparkled with neverending wonder and curiosity and passion. He remembered moments when Wilbur would begin to cry or leave the house telling the others he was "going for a walk" when they all knew he would break down the moment the house left his sight- he remembered the way he once cried for an injured bird when Phil told him the animal wouldn't make it, and remembered the way that Phil wasted a health potion on the little bird that night, just to see him smile again.

And Phil remembered the Wilbur in the control room. His eyes, his voice, his actions- a shattered and twisted version of what Phil had known him to be. The way his voice cracked and the way his eyes were alive with pain and madness and the way he fell to his knees as the home he had built was blown to bits. Phil remembered the way that on his knees still, Wilbur grappled onto Phil's coat and begged him over and over to end him, so much pain and hurt and trapped craze in his voice it shattered Phil.

"Was I a good brother?"

They were silent.

And then a small word from a small boy- a boy now president of a ruined land. "You were the best big brother anyone could ask for, Wilbur." They looked to Tubbo, who hadn't spoken a word the entire time. His eyes still dripped tears, but he had the most wonderful smile on his face. "You were the coolest big brother in the world. Why do you think we're so happy to see you again?" He gave a wet laugh. "Hell, you were amazing! Did you know that you used to help me with my english homework cause I couldn't read? A-and you would sing songs with me when I was sad!! You were the kindest brother a man could ask for."

"For real, Big Man!!" It was Tommy's turn to speak as he tried fruitlessly to dry his eyes. "You don't remember, but you and me made the most massive forts and we would hide there for hours and scare Technoblade!" Tommy laughed fondly. "I remember one time Techno was carrying a stick and hit me on the head when i scared him. You sat down with me and told me that I was okay and that we were gonna whack Techno with a billion sticks when I felt better."

"You..." Techno was hesitant for only a fraction of a second. "You used to help me sneak out of the house and we'd do all sorts of crazy things. You always said you were watching after me to make sure i never got hurt." He gave an amused chuckle at the memories. "You would play guitar in the hallway when i was upset, no matter what time it was. You got in trouble a lot for that, but you never stopped."

"Wilbur..." They turned to Phil as he adressed his son. Phil remembered and remembered and couldn't stop remembering and everything he remembered was good and every single memory was filled with thoughts of Wilbur- that's my son!- even in his last moments, and even the moments after when Phil had known he was long gone but held him closely anyway, he remembered the way he felt. Wilbur had never stopped being his son, Phil had never once stopped loving him. "Are you proud of me, Phil?" And the blonde man let more tears roll down his cheeks.

Phil tugged the ghost man into his arms and held on as if he ever let go, Wilbur really would disappear and be gone forever. "I'm so proud of you, Wilbur..." He spoke into the ghostial yellow sweater his son wore. "You were and still are the best son a man could ask for...i know you forgot that. But you know now and that's all that matters. I'm sorry i wasn't a better father, but know that i am so proud of you...so so proud, Wilbur..."

And Wilbur hugs him back.

It's hesitant, but it's there.

And Phil's other sons will know that as Wilbur embraced his father, tears rolled down his face in an unstoppable flow of emotion that Wilbur himself didn't understand completely, but his brothers did.

Wilbur doesn't know why he was crying. He didn't remember these people. But their emotions and connections were so so strong he felt the hints of distant memories flood him.

Someone giggling as they stacked things together.

Someone singing loudly with him as they danced around a room.

Someone chatting and joking with him under the stars.

Someone there, always always there. They never left...and they loved him so much.

"So..." Wilbur tried to keep his voice even, but found he could not. "I was a good brother?"

He was flooded with more arms- the embrace of his siblings, all shouting and telling him he was wonderful.

Tubbo...he remembered the name and he felt emotions attached to the name and the face, but he couldn't remember why.

Tommy...he could recall emotions attached to that name and was flooded with involuntary emotions when he looked at his blue eyes.

Techno...he could recall the name like an old friend and knew immediately that he was a comrade- a friend- a brother? He knew that name but couldn't understand why.

And Phil...he knew Phil. The memories were so blocked and so fuzzy and he could only just make out a smiling face, but it was Phil. He didn't know why and he didn't know how but he loved that name.

He loved all their names, and was overcome with inexplicable emotions when he saw them.

"...Dad...?" Wilbur finally let the word fall from his lips.

Phil held him closer.

"You were the best son I could have ever asked for..."

(I can keep the story going if you want! I really like drabbling this it's so much fun lol! But for now this is a good stopping place cause the ask is hella long.)

MANNNN I AM IN L O V E. THE WAY YOU RIGHT IS SO NICE AND FLOWY AND IT ALL JUST WORKS SO OERFECTLY TOGETHER! AND THE PARALLELS??? MMMMMMM

PLEASE KEEP GOING IF YOU WANT IM BEGGING

[20thcentury-kylo]

Tides Of Memory

(prologue)

Well here it is- sorry this has taken me so long, I'm not really the best artist n such but here is The prologue chapter to Tides Of Memory 

                                                          Enjoy~ 

Sometimes.... he still dreams of their words... 

"Just breathe- it'll all be fine🎶" 

Delicate melodies offset by somber guitar strums... The lyrics plague his memory, repeating in endless loops. Strangely enough he feels something similar in his current state. 

Alas the boy assumes that's all they are- bizarre, sorrowful dreams. 

Xx

To Kiome, Ebisu is the closest thing he has to a home. The smiles of his rosé haired boyfriend made him feel more at home, than any foster family could. Ebisu was his tether, the source of the light in his eyes- He was without a doubt the love of Kiome's life. Even more so now as gazes up at the aspiring musician, listening to the slow harmony of the boy's soft tones... 

"I knocked on your bedroom door, and waited for you to enter~" He knows to cherish these moments, etch them deep within his heart to captivate him forever... Ebisu with his eyes closed absently guiding his hand from note to note, sings the soft tune. The song which he curiously named San Diego, is one of goodbyes, and wistful memories. Yet he plays it in such a way that one cannot help but to have hope, it's a feeling Kiome understands all too well. 

"I bought you a crimson rose, smelled just like you did~" The feeling washes over him in a soft murmur, and the boy decides that he should do something about the space between them. Face to face, heart to heart- his lips utter nothing but his eyes speak a thousand ballads in a silent attempt to intertwine his soul even further with his beloved. A slightly shaken hand reaches to cradle the musician's cheek, the subsequent blush from Ebisu spurring him on further. Their lips meet in a soft meld, fluttering beats pulling one another closer. And amidst the safe stillness of that lamp lit bedroom- he feels... they both feel- complete. 

--- 

"Daring- I love you🎶~" 

Learning of his power, and his true destiny.. Kiome almost lost it all. The fear of losing what little he had in froze him- What if he couldn't win, what if he couldn't protect them all. Such worries cloud his mind, there is no confidence in the subtle whispers of his newly acquired sword. But of course not, they do not hold the voice of his beloved. So as the swordsman sits paled in moonlight, he thinks of nothing but their voice. 

"If only we could fly across the nether~" A subtle smile of relief finds its way onto Kiome's expression. He scoots over, making room for Ebisu to sit with him. 

"Hey... how are ya holdin up?" The question forces a sigh from his lips... they're trembling. 

"I won't lie- I'm... scared out of my mind right now.." Ebisu reaches for his hand, and Kiome can feel the tremors in his soul calm at the contact. Gradually all the doubts he'd been suppressing float to the surface and out through his stuttered words. 

"I-I just- don't wanna forget you, wherever I end up." They're on borrowed time, and he can hear each Jarring tick pass them by. Stray tears escape the poor boy's eyes, he's trying to stay strong, if not for himself then for Ebisu. His own depressing thoughts are cut short by the warm embrace of his partner. 

"I Promise- You won't!!" It's a declaration that could pierce the heavens, Kiome notices that he's started to tear up as well yet says nothing.

Ebisu pulls back- flush faced yet Smiling nonetheless. His breaths are shaking, and his words flitter out sporadically, but Kiome knows- he knows and he couldn't be more thankful. 

"No matter what happens to us- to our memories..." He's suddenly quiet, his features holding a wistful hope. Kiome can't help but awe at how beautiful he is. 

"No matter what- every song I've written, every note, every memory... they'll be right here- etched in my heart.." Ebisu gazes at him with a look that peers straight into his core, he means this... And the embrace that follows is almost too poetic for words. 

"Ditto~" Kiome swears on this life, and every past life he's apparently had- he'd never forget this for as long as his existence still burned. 

--- 

The 1st thing that comes to him is the overwhelming burning stench as he looks upon the scene before him. They'd come for him. This was it- nowhere for Kiome to run. He steels himself with thoughts of his beloved, gripping his sword tighter. 

"Darling~ I love you🎶~" 

Ebisu was safe.. he'd made sure of that before ever considering this fated clash. If he survived this... he just might have to marry the ocean eyed musician. It gives him the will to move forward- When he survived this, he was definitely marrying him. The voices whispering from within his sword hum in agreement, giving him the confidence he needs to charge into danger. He couldn't die here- not when he had someone to live for. 

-- 

The beast's endless roars are all but deaf to him. Kiome stands, eyes burning bright. This is it- do or die... His sword rests firmly in his grasp- his strength does not waver, even for a moment. Each step is another reminder of what he's fighting for- each strike he bears the shock in stride, like hell was he gonna fall here... 

His body may betray his intentions- writhing with bloodied bruises and aching muscles.. But his heart can't give up now- his very soul screams out in defiance. The exception before him seems to hear this cry- as it stumbles back before giving a scream of its own. 

And as he braces himself to fight on.. the words echo ever so clearly in his head 

'Darling- I love you~" 

-- 

"Kiome!! Please... stay with me-" He can't feel his body anymore... 

Ebisu sits there- cradling the dying body of his beloved- blood covered, and practically torn to pieces... his eyes won't open. 

"Kiome!!" Ebisu's presence is the only thing keeping him from letting go completely... He wants to see his face.. To tell him not to weep for the foolish.. 

"I'm here.." Opening his eyes sends surges of blinding pain through his retinas.. but the moment that pink hair and rosy cheeks come into view- such pain is all but forgotten. He can't hear the exception anymore- guess he must've won. Then again... at what cost. 

"Why so sad.." Ebisu won't stop crying- and the sight of it brings tears to his own eyes. Suddenly the reality that he probably won't survive this  hits him all at once, and it's only through sheer exhaustion that he doesn't break down weeping then and there. Instead he sighs with a shaky breath, and gazes into his beloved's eyes for what he thinks to be the last time... 

"My time here is running short🎶" Ebisu's expression shifts, before he graces the dying boy with a tearful smile... 

"Your kisses were my ambrosia🎶"Ebisu leans down and lays a soft kiss onto Kiome's forehead- Kiome can feel a tear drop ever so slowly... 

"They melted into my skin🎶" A soft light begins to emerge from Kiome's core. This... was the end. He doesn't take his eyes off Ebisu for a moment- he'd burn the image of his beautiful face into his heart.. so he'd never forget.. 

"Darling... I love you" 

Xx 

The subtle morning light peaks through the dorm windows- rousing it's residents from slumber. He opens his eyes to find that they're wet with tears... 

'Again huh-'Kiome has had the same dream for the 3rd time this week. Of places he's never been, of people he's never met... of love he's never felt. But they're just dreams- he muses to himself. They meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. Yet as he prepares for the day- eating his breakfast that Shiro so graciously prepared and brushing his teeth before heading to class- a strangely familiar tune remains stuck in his head... 

"I knocked on your bedroom door🎶~"He wonders where he could've heard it...

-PROLOGUE END-

Once again im really sorry for this taking so long- anywho i hope you enjoyed, i plan to update this semi frequently with a few drawings to complement each chapter (ReBlogs and Comments Are very much appreciated I wanna hear what you guys think uwu)

~Till Next Chapter~

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 25

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: honestly i know this is a boring chapter and im sorry about it.

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : none for this chapter im sorry! i sorta needed her to come back first and... yea. keep sending them tho!

Chapter 25 : His chapter

NIALL

She didn't answer anything. I waited for hours and she didn't dare even answer anything about the video I sent her. I wish she would have at least acknowledged it. I would have been fine with a heart emoji even if I would have preferred a comment about how much she loved and missed me. But she sent nothing and it was worse than anything she could have answered.

I kept thinking about her and Dylan and it was driving me insane. In fact, I couldn't stop thinking about her on top of him, riding him and moaning his name. It was obsessing me to the point where I just wanted to take a plane to her and bring her back home with me.

I tried calling her in the afternoon but she didn't answer and although I was trying to convince myself that she was probably sleeping, I knew that it was not late enough for her to be asleep, even with the jetlag.

I waited almost 24 hours to hear from her and when my phone rang, I realized someone was trying to facetime me. I saw her face on the screen and my heart jumped so high in my chest I thought I was about to vomit it. I almost dropped my phone on my face and stopped moving before breathing in and out for a few seconds. I finally answered and my lips curled when I saw her face. Her hair was a mess, she had dark circles under her eyes and she looked exhausted.

"Hey darling, what time is it in Italy?"

She raised her nose up and groaned low. "Fuck, did I wake you up? I'm so sorry." she apologized with a grimace. "It's four in the morning here."

"No, it's okay, it's 7 pm here." I tried to reassure her and chuckled. "Actually, I didn't sleep much last night."

She frowned and tilted her head but I hesitated to tell her how I felt. I let my eyes roam on her face for a few seconds and finally sighed. I had been worried about her and clearly, I had the right to. Of course, there was more than that. I had also been scared of what she was doing, and perhaps a bit jealous, but I didn't have to mention that.

"You're already in bed?" she asked with a small smile.

"Yea, I tried to read a bit, and watch tv, but I ended up just writing a few song lyrics." I explained with a shrug.

"Are you alright?"

"Liv, you haven't given me any news since you left. I messaged you, and I tried calling, but you didn't answer." I pointed out a bit louder. "Look, I was worried, okay."

Her traits softened and she looked at me with a guilty expression.

"I'm so sorry, Niall, you're right. I've been super busy. The auditions ended late, and we have more tomorrow and an interview. After the auditions we had a meeting that lasted like 3 hours. I'm super tired. You're right though, I should have taken a few minutes to call or at least message you. Please, forgive me."

I licked my lips and sighed low. "You're okay, that's all that matters. Did you get my video?"

This time, her face completely changed and the smile she sent me was so loving, fond and soft that I couldn't help but smile too. She pressed her lips together and all I could think about was kissing her.

"I did. I had just landed and I was at the airport still." she admitted in a low voice. "I was crying and a guard came to check on me."

She let out a short embarrassed chuckle and I smiled more, raising my eyebrows. "You cried?"

Her face became more serious but her gaze was still soft. "Yes. I love you, Niall. I love you so much. I almost took a plane back to you after seeing that. I just..." she shook her head and glanced away before looking back at me. "I wish  I could have stayed with you. I wish I could be with you right now."

"Me too." I replied with a smile as she leaned against the headboard of the bed, making me frown. "Hey, where are you right now?"

She looked around herself for a few seconds and looked back in my eyes again.

"Hotel room." she shrugged, making me frown more.

"I thought you'd be at your boyfriend's apartment." I admitted blatantly, making her face change suddenly. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm good, don't worry. He's still filming and this hotel is closer to where I have to be tomorrow." she grimaced but I could feel something was wrong. "I have to be up in six hours. I'm even lucky they let me wake up so late."

I pushed away all the thoughts and questions in my head to focus on her and the time we had together instead. Of course, I was curious, but at the same time, I was not sure I wanted to know. Her marriage and her boyfriend were touchy subjects, for me but also for her, I could feel it every time one of us would mention something, and I was not in the mood to talk about that. If she wanted to discuss anything with me, though, I knew she would.

"I don't really want to hang up." I admitted with a small smile. "When are you coming back home?"

"I tried to get a flight for tomorrow night, but I got one in the middle of the night." she explained, surprising me but making her smile grow. "I just can't wait."

I remained silent for a few seconds, wondering why she was coming back so fast instead to spend time with Dylan, but I decided not to ask. It was stupid, but I didn't want to give her the idea to stay longer, and I also didn't want her to think I didn't care that she'd spend time with him. If I wanted to be honest, I also really wanted her to come back so I just smiled more.

"I think you should drop by my place, first."

She laughed this time, closing her eyes and leaning her head on the headboard as her nose raised up. It made me chuckle to see her laugh so honestly and when her eyes fluttered open, she was smirking.

"And why exactly?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "You could get naked and join me in bed. What time are you supposed to land?"

"Five in the morning." she explained with a sigh.

"Do you want me to pick you up?" I proposed, moving on my bed to lean on my pillows better.

"Naa, you don't want an other article about us, do you?" she pointed out, raising her nose up again. "I'll take a cab and give your address."

I wanted to tell her that articles about us didn't bother me and somehow, at that exact moment, it wouldn't have been a lie, but in general, yea, I hated paps and how they'd always write bullshit just to sell and get clicks.

"And then?"

"And then get naked and join you in bed." she replied with a smirk, using my own words. "You know, just thinking about it makes me horny." she added in a low tone. "And you being almost naked right now doesn't help."

I boomed out with laughter and a smirk appeared on my lips. It felt so natural to have that kind of discussion with her even if we had been separated for so long. I watched as her eyes dropped to my chest and shook my head.

"You're literally eyeing me right now, and you're not even trying to hide it." I pointed out, trying to keep my laughter in. "And you're wearing too much clothes for me to do the same."

"Mm, well, it's not my fault you're not wearing a shirt." she pointed out, not even looking in my eyes. "If you could just... move your phone a bit."

"Such a horny girl."

It made me think of that time when we were dating and I was gone in Asia with my cousins. It was the first and only time we had facetime sex and just thinking about it made my heart jump in my chest. I wanted to do it again, tell her what to do and when to do it, watch her touch herself and cum while she moaned my name.. but I knew she was tired and I didn't want to insist too much.

"Do you remember when-"

"Oh yea, oh yea I remember." she cut me, making me raise my eyebrows. "When you ran out of that bar and got back to that tiny disgusting and dark room just so we could masturbate together on the phone. I fucking remember, Niall. You made me start touching myself in the car."

"If I was there right now, I'd touch you and do all the job. You'd have nothing to do. I'd just make you cum and then you could fall asleep."

"Mm, I wish you would be here right now, then." she admitted with a yawn, squirming to lay down in bed as I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "Especially that you promised me your tongue and lips between my legs. Do you know how many times I thought about it? Mm, no one tongue fucks me like you."

I laughed again. "Oh god, you've got such a filthy mouth."

"Me? More like you." she laughed too, closing her eyes. "You're gonna eat me out good next time we see each other, yea?"

"I fucking promise." I guaranteed, bringing my hand to my cock and brushing it over my boxers. "I'll make you scream."

I watched her almost fall asleep and smiled a bit but after a few seconds, I felt the words escape my lips.

"Before we hang up, petal, can you show me your tits?"

Her eyes fluttered open and she let out a short but silent laugh. "You just can't help yourself, can you?" she shook her head. "I sent you a picture of my boobs already, don't you have it anymore?"

"Of course I do! It's my phone's background!" I joked, watching her face change into terror and making me laugh. "Babe relax, I'm joking! It's just even better when it's live."

"I'm ready to give you five seconds of seeing my boobs but in exchange, I want you to stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep."

My traits softened and I sent her a small smile. I would have agreed with that against nothing at all, just because I loved the fact that she felt safe with me, and because I missed her.

"Mm, okay, five seconds of seeing them, and five more while you touch them."

She chuckled and shook her head before putting her phone away. All I could see was the ceiling for a few seconds but when she put her phone back, she had taken her shirt off and was now laying under the sheets. My eyes quickly found her breasts and my lips curled slightly.

"Is it cold there?" I asked, amused.

"It is, you little fucker."

I laughed again and she finally moved her phone up, making me groan. "You promised me five more of touching them."

"I'm touching them."

"But I can't see!" I argued, making her laugh.

"You didn't specify that."

I groaned and grimaced before using puppy eyes while staring at her. Her eyes were half-closed and I knew she was going to fall asleep soon.  She chuckled and rolled her eyes and I was glad I didn't even have to beg her. She moved her phone farther and I saw her fingers rub gently against her nipples. I was about to ask her to grab her tits harder but she just did it and I let out a short curse word as I gripped the sheets of my bed.

"Fuck you make me so hard." I whispered right before she started giggling like a school girl.

"I remember before we dated, you said you were too old to get hard just by the sight of boobs." she told me. "I guess that's not true anymore, if it ever was."

"Darling, it's not just boobs. It's you, touching and grabbing your boobs, and making all these sexy little sounds, I bet you don't even realize it. Fuck yea, you make me hard. I want to tap my cock on them until it's hard enough to wreck you."

She rubbed her eyes with her free hand and whimpered low before grabbing the blankets of the bed and pulling them over her shoulders. She turned around and leaned the phone on a pillow while grabbing the other one and cuddling it.

"Mm, well, maybe you can do that when I get back." she proposed in a mumble. "You can even do that while I'm sleeping if it turns you on."

“I’ll remember that.” I chuckled and watched her lips part slightly and her eyes close. She looked peaceful but I knew that in less than a minute, she was going to be snoring. "Hey, petal." I whispered.

"Mm?"

"I'm in love with you." I added, seeing the left corner of her lips move up slightly. "Goodnight, darling."

                                                 ---

I woke up horribly early just to be sure I wouldn't miss her interview. She had sent me a link and I just stayed in bed, still half-sleep, thinking that I'd just get a few more hours of sleep when it would be over but when I saw her appear on the screen with a big smile, I felt suddenly completely awake.

I had stayed about fifteen minutes just looking at her the night before while she was sleeping and just like I thought, she had been snoring, her face all pressed on the pillow and even if it had made me smile, it was crazy how endeared I had been. If I was not sure she was the only girl I would ever want to spend my life with already, after that it was impossible to have any doubt left. Of course, I didn't need anything to convince me that we were meant to be, but these simple reminders of how much I loved her and everything she did were good and comforting.

She started answering questions about why she was in Italy, and how the auditions were going, and I couldn't help but think it felt weird to watch my best friend being interviewed on a tv show. It made me realize that it was probably how she felt the first few times she saw me on tv and it felt weird to have the roles reversed for once.

"Did you have time to visit? Or do you plan on doing it later?"

She smiled and it made me smile too. "I didn't really have time and I have a flight back home tonight, so I probably won't have time but it's so beautiful here, at least from what I was able to see from my hotel room windows or from the short drives around." she chuckled. "I will definitely come back to visit. With someone, perhaps."

I grabbed my phone and quickly sent her a text message.

'I'll bring you to Italy to visit. I'll bring you anywhere you want to go.'

I put my phone away and looked as she reached for her pocket and it made me hold my breath. She was not supposed to bring her phone but she had and even worse, it seemed like it was on vibe. I let out a chuckle and shook my head. She was never really the type to follow the rules anyway.

"A few weeks ago there were pictures of Niall Horan and you coming out of a movie theater together and all the rumors about you two dating again appeared online." the man whom's name I forgot asked as Olivia nodded. "Neither of you denied or attested the rumors but you two are talking again which is a big deal. You hadn't been seen together since your break up back in november 2016."

"Uhm, yea well, we both moved to California and we met randomly and... you know, when someone has been your best friend for two decades, it's hard to just.. couper les ponts you know, cut the ties?" she let out, raising her eyebrows. "Niall was part of my every day life, I even went on the last One Direction tour with him, so to cut him from my life du jour au lendemain... it was not easy. It was sudden, and it was tough. For both of us. So yea, we talk again."

"I noticed that you add a lot of french words and expressions when you talk and I know you're from France but you've lived in Ireland most of your life so you know all of this in english."

"Mm, yea but french comes to me very easily. I talk to my parents a lot, especially recently, so I guess I'm just mixing both languages." she admitted with a laugh. "I'm sorry, I know it's bit annoying."

"Endearing." I corrected her in a whisper even if she couldn't hear me.

"No no, not at all." the interviewer argued. "How many seasons did you plan for this show?"

She answered the questions like a champ but I was surprised that there had been no question about her wedding or her boyfriend. They normally like to get into things like that and I thought that maybe she had specified that she didn't want questions about that. However, I would think if that was the case, she would have also told them not to ask her about me and yet, they did, and she didn't seem pissed.

I didn't mind that they asked about me much and her answer was great. I had never stopped myself from mentioning my friends in interviews when people asked, I just didn't like talking about who I was dating or who my songs were about specifically. After all, when people ask questions about that, they just want to know who you're shagging, and my sex life, along with my romantic one, was no one's business.

The tv show lasted about ten more minutes and a few minutes after it ended, I heard my phone and grabbed it, smiling again when I realized that the first thing she did was answer my text.

'The truth is, Niall, that I'll follow you anywhere you want to go. Whether it's Italy, space, or that big ass couch of yours. Lead me. I'm right behind.'

                                                          ---

We spend the afternoon texting each other back and forth and I knew she would be in deep shit if anyone realized she was distracted. It was still an audition afternoon and evening for her and she had mentioned that she wouldn't be able to sleep before getting on the plane, which would mean she would most likely be exhausted when she'd get back. Sleeping on a plane was never nice or reviving, and I knew what I was talking about.

As I was waiting for her answer, I started checking online to see if there were comments about her interview or if there were new pictures of her that had appeared online. The first article that popped, however, was about her boyfriend, and I almost skipped it until I read the title. I scrolled back up and clicked on it only to see a picture of Dylan appear. He was with some girl I didn't know and they were dangerously close to each other. Of course, it was just a picture, and it wouldn't be the first time paps would fool us into believing crap. Sometimes, just the angle of the picture could make you believe things and I was hoping this picture was no exception. I stared at it for a few seconds before reading parts of the articles and grimacing. I couldn't just send that to Olivia and ruin her trip and I just decided to ignore it. Perhaps I could tell her later, when she'd be back, but I still was not sure.

I jumped when I got her reply but smiled quickly when I realized it was a selfie. She had her tongue out, her nose up in a grimace, and was literally doing the 'rock and roll' sign with her fingers. The caption said 'I'm coming home babey!' and I started laughing. I put my phone away and took a selfie as I was laying on the couch and just wrote 'I'm waiting for you' before quickly sending her.

She arrived in the middle of the night. At first, I was not sure what had woken me up and I just groaned and squirmed in bed, grabbing a pillow and pulling it close to me, my arms tight around it, but I heard an other thud and forced myself to open my eyes. It only took half a minute to see a shadow walk in my room and I stared at her as I saw her take her shirt and pants off quickly. I moved in bed to give her space and let out a short groan.

"I missed you, pet."

She moved closer and pressed her cold body against mine, my lips curling more when I realized she was completely naked and I suddenly regretted keeping my boxers on.

"How was your flight?"

"Mm, long and loveless." she complained, making me chuckle low.

I brought my lips to hers and kissed her gently before brushing them down her neck as my arm wrapped around her and pulled her closer.

"I'll give you love, angel." I whispered, running my hand on her back, feeling her soft but cold skin.

"What kind?" she just asked with a chuckle.

"Cuddles and caresses for now." I replied in a murmur. "Sweet sex in the morning."

"You know exactly what I want, at all times, don't you?" she replied just as low, making me smile as I kept my eyes closed.

She smelled good despite spending 13 hours on a plane and I wondered how it was even possible. I wanted to ask her if she had stopped at her place first or if she at least had spent some time in the bathroom to clean but I was too tired and I just kissed her shoulder before laying my head on the pillow again.

"Don't leave again, okay?." I muttered randomly. "Losing you is not an option."

She wasn't answering and with all the strength I still had, I once again forced my eyes open only to meet hers. She was sending me a small smile, her eyes also half-opened, and I smiled back slightly at her with a soft gaze.

"I'm definitely adding that to a song." I pointed out before she could answer, making her laugh.

"I'm not leaving, Niall." she just let out after a few minutes of silence. "I missed you too."

I tried to squeeze her in my arms but failed miserably. I was too tired to be strong but she seemed to appreciate the gesture. She chuckled and kissed my chin, sliding one of her legs between mine. My mind was too numb to think but I breathed in only to smell her again. My whole body was exhausted but I tried to fight slumber just to appreciate having her in my arms again, as if she had been gone for months and not just for literally two days. A bunch of things we had talked about came back to my mind and I just couldn't wait to have an other talk with her.

"You're not right behind me, Olivia." I mumbled with difficulty.

"Mm?"

"Earlier, in a text message, you said you'd follow me anywhere, that you were right behind me." I explained until I felt her fingertips brush along my spine. "You're not behind, you're right next to me. I'm holding your hand. I'm not going to lead you. We'll walk together, make decisions together, we'll take every step together, Olivia. Neither of us is leading or following. We're together."

"The dream team." she whispered before biting her bottom lip.

"The dream team. The only team that matters. You and me. Against the world." I pointed out with a smile before she repeated my words like an echo.

"You and me."

[antpelts]

multiples of 1 for the wc asks :]

;;;; jgfdlkgjdl puts this under a cut bc itll be so long but,, ty

1. what color is scourge’s collar?

i think like.. idk i never really cared too much but my brain always went to red or purple i wasnt picky tho fkgkdfklgj

2. top 5 the prophecies begin characters

oh.. okay like.. im not gonna go thru everything otherwise i probably wouldnt be able to pick but! these also arent in order

1. bluestar absolutely.. god i love her sm;; ive already rambled about her to you but she makes me fucking ache sm 2. brackenfur/thornclaw gonna put these boys together here because like i liked both of them for.. almost no reason? FDGDFGDF idk!! i think i liked thornclaw just a bit more but.. my boys!! 3. cinderpelt ... no explanation required <3 no just.. yeah ;_; i cry over her so much just.. like.. the tragedy to like her accepting and loving herself and becoming an amazing med cat and and ;;;;;;;;; i love her 4. tallstar and crookedstar..... leaders of my two fav clans.... need i say more <3 (ive also told you about these two and why i like them ;; both their books made me cry) 5. barley and ravenpaw ...... yeah ;_; <3

special mention for littlecloud and runningnose.. i loved them-- OKAY I NEED TO STOP IM AT WAY MORE THAN FIVE

3. should hollyleaf have had a power?

i say no!! the fucking.. tragedy of it all.. like its been a while since i read but fuck dude the like.. feelings of uselessness that must come with that but like shes a fucking complete cat either way and when she comes back and fucking sAVES IVYPOOL OH IM MAKING MYSELF TEAR UP shes AMAZING and did not need a power

4. millie or silverstream?

both! ;_; they dont need to fight. tho i think i did like silverstream more at first i dont think i ever hated millie like others

5. favorite forbidden romance

oh god lmao gonna only go with canon stuff [side eyes moth/leaf] buttttttt i mean ;; bluestar and oakheart ;; itll always make me ache yknow.. -- WAIT CAN I ADD CLOUDTAIL AND BRIGHTHEART TO FAV CATS TOO ILL CRY OVER THEM SOBS... -- uhhhhhh i never super liked leaf/crow just.. shrugs. ig it wasnt forbidden but stormfur staying with the tribe for brooke.. ;;;;;;; and to stay where feathertail died.. GOD ;_; yeah.. idk does tall/jake count ;;;

6. favorite sss warriors design

tbh i didnt really watch sss warriors but we love a nice just.. orange boy firestar :3

7. realistic or sparkle designs for roleplay?

its about balance........ ive had both! i liked leaning towards realistic but to this day id say i fall between like.. not realistic wrt genetics but making designs that Seem plausible at least

8. first deviantart username

oh god i dont remember prolly something like.. with mossmask in it

9. favorite crack ship (ex. revengeshipping)

it.. Was revenge shipping but like i never knew the crack ships klfgjkfdlgj :sob: yeah tgat was the only one i like ever saw so

10. describe your first warriors oc

technically.. jaymoss who i dont remember much? gray tabby? very quickly was revamped into/replaced by mossmask who to this day is who i consider my first oc and sona.. theyre a calico :3

11. favorite amv prior to 2014?

oh god ill have to look.. hm okay so.. bones shatter was a fucking CLASSIC i loved it okay.. so off the top of my head here we go.. the one firegray one of course and bonus this firegray one too klfdgjdklfg AND I LOVED THIS ONE FUCKING ASHFUR FAIRYTALE i wanted to have art like that for a few months i tried to emulate it lkjgldkfgj and god i loved duckfeatherz stuff.. the why did you change one... AND THE SWIFT AND BRIGHT ONE FDGJDFLGK FUCKING [SCREAMING CAT] GOD I LOVED IT.. ;;;;; fuckin.. god.. they ..... ;; [IM WATCHING IT RN FUCKING THEY AND NOSTALGIA ILL CRY] okay okay fucking of course obligatory [what if ashfur wanted to break] of course god 9 year old me loved it.. kfdjgkdfg OH AND THIS ONE BROUGHT BACK SO MANY MEMORIES IMMEDIATELY.. SCOURGES FLAWED DESIGN YES KDLSFJSDKL and god.. ashfurs hurt.. i watched this so much the voice acting in amvs god yes... I STILL THINK OF THIS SONG AT RANDOM EVEN THO I NEVER LISTENED TO IT OUTSIDE OF THIS VIDEO!!!! THE FUCKING LKJFLKFJGDLKG !!!!!!! AHHHHHH fucKING AHH [HELP ME HELP YOU] [IT HURTS WHEN UR LONELY AND IM STANDING RIGHT BESIDE YOU AND IT HURT WHEN YOU TOLD M--] [ITS JUST A MATTER OF HOW MUCH U LET IT SLIDE!!!!!!!!] [HOPE U NEVER HURT HOPE YA NEVER CR--] GHFGHFG GOD ;;;; like i hate ashfur being a bitch but i loveddddd this amv :sob: also.. leafpool is sober of crowfeather i ;;; this song gets me to this day also i viscerally remember the voice acting god kljfg i loved this one so much.. i still think of tigerclaw is not one of thunderclan sometimes too klfjgdfg and,, okay

i hate to pick a favorite but i feel like this one changed the trajectory of Me...... like ive always loved the song but this amv cemented it as like one of my songs of all time and i loved the designs and video and... literally i love this one so.... of course... ashfur - mr brightside.. my fucking BELOVED

12. is brambleclaw a good main character?

i read the books like so young i hear he got shittier? like.. i liked him when i was like.. 10-13 reading the books i liked all the journey cats tbh so

13. rank the clans (excluding skyclan, including bloodclan)

windlcan/riverclan shadowclan thunderclan bloodclan

in my opinion <3

14. dovewing or ivypool?

i like.. liked ivypool a lot.. maybe related to her <3 but.. i like them both a lot up to where i read at Least

15. daisy: yay or nay?

i liked her!

16. did you ever use fanart as your pc wallpaper?

yes. including my own <3

17. what would your warrior name be and what clan would you belong to?

mossmask <3 of course <3 [rolling eyes] half clan river and windclan kljgdfklgj yeah.. could never pick.. honestly i mean.. shadowclan grew on me recently but in my mind.. mixed clan and it goes between whether moss would be wind or river

18. favorite medicine cat? (cutoff being oots)

ughhhh idk i liked a lot of em ;; runningnose cinderpelt brambleberry yellowfang.... thats without looking it up so <3

19. did you name/want to name a pet after a character?

i wanted to! never did.. still might name a cat moss in honor of mossmask

20. swiftpaw, gorsepaw, or shrewpaw?

swiftpaw.. like i dont remember the other two as much in my mind and swiftpaw really got to me as a kid ;;

[seagullsausage]

ive been insane thinking excessively about my egoverse lately so heres the gist of it cause i can’t form a full coherent post

jackie is kinda traumatized from jack getting rid of marvin and is overprotective of chase and henrik to an overbearing degree cause hes so afraid of jack hurting them

when chase was created he was kind of a handful and jackie was so so paranoid that jack was going to hurt him because he was irritated with how needy chase was, and it got to the point where jackie was so so sure that jack was going to kill chase that he couldn’t sleep at night, and so he moved out and made chase move in with him to keep him safe

jackie is under an intense amount of stress because hes trying to take care of chase, henrik, marvin, and jameson all at the same time, on top of being obsessed with finding anti and keeping his family safe from him aND still grieving for jack and also trying to stay on top of his quickly deteriorating mental health. hes having anxiety attacks and panic attacks every day desperately trying to juggle all this shit and feels like the weight of the world is on his shoulders

henrik and marvin are really good friends and they help each other with a lot of shit. marvins a bit more mature than chase and also relates hardcore to what henrik had to go thru and so they’re kind of a stand-in for jackie. henrik is also the only person who checks up on marvin and tries helping them deal with everything that anti did to them

jameson had more influence over anti than what chase liked to believe. jameson was the one who convinced anti not to kill henrik, and to not completely destroy him. when marvin was living with them, jameson literally begged anti almost every day to stop hurting them, because they were becoming friends and marvin was the first human hes ever interacted with. he also feels guilt over not being able to ‘save’ henrik so hes desperate to save marvin

how marvin’s dealing with the aftermath of getting away from anti; they like to say that they’re fine but like if the front door doesn’t open right away or if the windows stuck they spiral down into a complete breakdown, they flinch away if jameson makes any sudden movements, they’re very reactionary, especially with chase, they’re sleeping excessively and spends almost all their time sitting outside, etc. 

anti didn’t originally care about making the egos his ‘puppets;’ it was only after he formed individual relationships with the guys that he wanted them all to himself; he grew an intense bond with jameson, he grew to like henrik as a tool/weapon, he enjoyed having chase as his patient, he loved marvin, he liked messing around with jackie, etc. so at the end of it all, he just wants everyone who he loves in one place, he wants to have control over all of them

chase is actually gay but hes extremely closeted and has a lot of internalized homophobia and trauma about it. his marriage fell apart partially because of him and he always thought there was something wrong with him, that he was seriously broken and that he was incapable of loving. he’s very aggressive towards marvin and jameson, and especially gets angry at jameson and henriks developing relationship. why should they get to be happy? why does marvin get to be comfortable with themself? hes realizing things and eventually he snaps and goes into screaming and sobbing fits about it, henriks trying to hold him but chase is crying about how theres something wrong with him and he’s not allowed to be gay and all that. henrik and marvin both help him worth through it and come to terms with it

chase is big into fighting and boxing, he used to be in these fighting rings where people bet money and stuff until jackie made him stop, hes got a punching bag in his room and he gets in bar fights a lot. he could beat the shit out of jameson if he could but henrik and marvin always stop him. he’d fight marvin too but they have magic so its always a losing battle

marvin had a mentor who found them in the woods and took care of them, trained them and helped them be the magician they are today. im calling him ben burnake for now based off the lemon demon song. he looks like arin hanson

jameson also gets a therapist and at first hes scared cause ya know anti was a psychiatrist and all, but this guy is really nice and caring and hes mostly deaf so they sign to each other the whole time. jamesons scared of telling him about his past cause, ya know, if he starts talking about demons and posession and stuff hes scared hes gonna be put in a hospital, but his therapist totally believes him (or at least thinks jameson is using the whole demon thing as a metaphor for something) and its real nice

when marvin gets free, they tell henrik everything there is to know about jameson. hes been tortured by not knowing who he is and never saving him, and just learning his name and learning what hes like is so so cathartic and wonderful for henrik

[alchemist-shizun]

As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

[myherodiehardfan]

promts (i STOLE FROM ALL OVER THE PLACE)

- prompt list -

Prompt List #1 ♛ Imagines

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

“Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry”

“Stay with me”

“Walk out that door and we’re through”

“Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything”

“I can’t breathe”

“I hate how much I love you”

“Why are you so jealous?”

“Where do you think you’re going”

“Just leave me alone”

“I need some time”

“Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself”

“You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!”

“Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”

“Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not.”

“Just talk to me”

“Bite me”

“If you insist”

“I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”

“I think you’re just afraid to be happy”

“Why are you so nice to me”

“Choose me”

“We’ll get through this, I promise”

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”

“You’re mine. I don’t share”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

“If we get caught I’m blaming you”

“Make me”

“Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now”

“I think I forgot how to breath”

“Stop biting that fucking lip!”

“You’re blushing”

“I missed something didn’t I?”

“You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?”

“Well this is awkward”

“Is that my shirt?”

“You look like you need a hug”

“I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies”

“Please come home, I miss you”

“You’re so fucking adorable”

“How can you still look so attractive while crying.”

“I’m pregnant”

“You’re lucky you’re cute”

“Cuddle me.”

“Sometimes I really don’t like you”

“What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“You’re getting crumbs all over my bed”

“Im too sober for this”

“Oh god, I need a drink”

Bad boy writing prompts (warning: mild sexual themes)

“He was sneak out the window past curfew kind of trouble, he was a motorbike ride cross-country kind of trouble, he was the kind of boy your daddy hated. But he was the only man that made you feel alive.” (Oh, Dabi, my dear, I’m looking at you.)

“‘A gentleman would offer me his seat’”    ‘Gentlemen are boring. But you’re free to sit on my lap.’ You narrowed your eyes. He slanted his head innocently, ‘Over my knees then’    ‘Charming, aren’t you’    ‘Only for you, baby’”

“You gawked. Did he seriously just offer ten million yen for your portrait? ‘You want me on your wall?’   ‘Actually, I want you in my bed but you seem to averse sex, so how about it?’”

“I love you more than I hate the rest of the world.”(Hm. A lot of the villains, but especially Shiggy and Overhaul.)

“I seem to have a nasty habit of driving people away.” (A lonesome MC/Reader or my darling Shinso, technically not a bad boy but can be applied hehe)

“Her body was his. His to ravish, to possess, to savor. But he was a selfish man and having just her skin wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more, always more. He desired her heart, her soul, her beautiful mind. Everything. He wanted her. And she will be his.” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (This is as far I will go)

RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS

SHORT

“Marry me.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“You are not going without me.”

“I can’t believe you!”

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

“What did you say?”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

“Are you sure this is legal?”

“Isn’t this amazing?”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Stay the night. Please.”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

“Run away with me.”

“You did WHAT?”

“Quit whining.”

“Get outta my sight!”

“Why are you so annoying?”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Never in a million years.”

“Don’t ask me that…”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“What’s with the box?”

“W- What are you doing?”

“Say it!”

“I could kiss you right now!”

“Are you done with that?”

“What’s going on here?”

“Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”

“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”

“Did you do this on purpose?!”

“Kiss me.”

“Are you still awake..?”

“Excuse you?”

“This is all your fault!”

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

“Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”

“It’s not fair!”

“I could kill you right now!”

“Knock it off!”

“Screw you!”

“You’re a complete moron!”

“I love this song!”

“I can’t be in love with you!”

“Make me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I hate you.”

“You are infuriating!”

“Just shut up already.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Bite me.”

“Eat me.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“Just admit I’m right.”

“Just admit you’re wrong.”

“You are being ridiculous!”

“That’s irrational.”

“Listen to me!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Don’t yell at me.”

“That’s it. End of discussion.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

“Fuck you!”

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”

“How dare you?”

“I dare you!”

“It’s you, it’s always been you.”

“Well this is awkward…”

“Just pretend to be my date”.  

MISCELLANEOUS

“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.”

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”

“I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”

“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”

“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

“Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

“Can I touch your boob?”

“It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.”

“You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?”

“Give me cake or give me death.”

“On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”

“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”

“Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”

“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”

“No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.”

“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”

“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”

“I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”

“What have I told you about the toilet seat?”

“I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”

“I vote today to be a pajama day.”

“You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”

“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

“I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”

“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”

“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”

“I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”

“This would not happen if I had a penis!”

“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

“All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”

“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”

“To the night you’ll never remember!”

“Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?”

“Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”

“Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”

“You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.”

“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”

“You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!”

“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“

“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

“I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.”

“You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

“You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”

“I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?”

“Look out where you’re going, asshole!”

“Fuck the sandwich guy!”

“I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”

“The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?”

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.”

“I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.”

“There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.”

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”  

“There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.”

“It’s midnight, what do you want?”

“I think I know how to use a bed.”

“If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.”

“You are completely unfit to handle a child.”

“We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.”

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

“When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”

“It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

PREGNANCY

“I have something to tell you…”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant!”

“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”

“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”

“Pregnancy suits you…”

“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

“I’ll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!”

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”

“Shh… He/she’s sleeping..”

“I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”

“No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!”

“Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!”

FLUFF

“Your hair is so soft…”

“You’re so cute when you pout like that!”

“Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“What, does that feel good?”

“HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?”

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

“You are ridiculously comfortable…”

“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

“We should get a puppy!”

STARGAZING

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Shooting star, make a wish.”

“It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.”

“Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”

“Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…”

“Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?”

“Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.”

“This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?”

“Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.”

“I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.

FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL

“Did you just… finish?”

“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”

“I’m not actually feeling anything.”

“Are you getting any closer?”

“Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!”

“Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”

“Shit sorry, am I going too fast?”

“Wow, you’re hot.”

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Hey, I’m open minded.”

“Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?”

“I see someone’s happy to see me.”

“I saw that. You just checked me out.”

“You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.”

“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”

“Boobs are really just squishy pillows.”

“If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.”

“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”

“I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

TEXTS

[text]: What do you want now?

[text]: Do you want to bet on that?

[text]: Guess who just got back in town.

[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now…

[text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore!

[text]: Come on, come to the party!

[text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive.

[text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up.

[text]: I call bullshit.

[text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you?

[text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship.

[text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.

[text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.

[text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!

[text] I know what you did last summer…

[kwispykwemetingz]

Invisible Heart (Haikyuu song fic)

Song: Ghostin -By Ariana Grande

Trigger warning: Mentions of abuse and slight depression. 

I know you hear me when I cry, I try to hold it in at night

"S/o-chan! Wait up!" 

The usually cheery boy runs by the h/c girls side, a bit of a stutter in his chest as he tries to catch his breath. Nonetheless, the boy begins to speak again, a bout of excitement about to burst from his very soul.

Everything was so awesome today at practice, he was all, ‘Gwah!’ and the ball went all, ‘Bam!’ and it just sped across the court like, ‘Woosh’! He couldn't wait to tell you about it! But you've yet to look his way, the usual ever present smile had yet to grace your lips.

He tilts his head, a confused little grin on his face. Bouncing around you, he tries to catch your expression, but to no avail. His step falter for a second. Unconsciously, he places his hand in yours, worry replacing his next few words.

"S/o, what's wrong?"

The orange haired boys expression completely falls when you unlace your fingers from his, tucking your hands to your sides. You just continue walking, not another word coming from your lips other than a soft, 

"I'll see you tomorrow, Hinata."

While you're sleeping next to me, but it's your arms that I need this time -this time.

"Gwah!" 

The small boy falls, catching the ball for the billionth time...With his face. He'd flown backwards, ultimately tumbling to the ground. Not long after, an angry tall male snatches him by the collar of his T-shirt, screaming profanities into his face. Unlike any other day where he would probably scream back, the rambunctious teen just takes it with absentminded nod. This earns him a huff and a grumble of,

“If your mind is wondering to other things, just go home! You're slowing down practice, idiot.” This snaps the short boy out of his reverie, his head already shaking back and forth in disagreement, 

“N-no! I’m fine see!” He jumps up, flailing his stringy arms around in desperate attempt to show his teammate of his good condition. But another voice comes up behind, 

“I think Kageyama’s right Hinata, you’ve kinda been out of it today, and I don't want you to injure yourself. Just go home early today.” Hinata's expression becomes slightly panicked when yet another voice picks up, this one mocking, 

“More like no one feels like sweeping your body off the floor today...” The captain shoots a glare towards the bean pole before looking back to the dejected boy. With a sigh, he smiles, patting his shoulder. 

“Just for today, alright?” The gloomy boy nods solemnly before going to the back to grab his bag. Now with his mind unoccupied, it fills itself with thoughts of you, and the weird way you've been acting lately.

Look at the cards that we’ve been dealt, if you were anybody else,

You've has been ignoring him for weeks. He's been worried sick, not even being able to get close enough to talk. A small glance and then you run away. Why? What did he do wrong? Was it something he said? Done? He knows he can be overbearing sometimes with all his blabbering but was what he did so bad to where you wouldn't even look at him? 

Hinata stayed unfocused for weeks, trying his best to figure out what was wrong. He wasn’t a very bright boy, but over those few weeks he slowly but surely realized why you were acting this way. What he came up with didn't ease his mind though. 

He couldn't focus on school work at all, and while he couldn't focus on school work even when he was feeling okay, it was now ten times worse. His grades were dropping, and they weren’t even very high in the first place. Most importantly though, volleyball wasn’t half as appealing anymore. The whole team noticed Hinata’s change in character, they were worried. (Most of them at least.) They all knew something was going on in the small boys relationship, but they didn't know what to do to help.

 Sugawara often came to check on Hinata, trying to do anything to make him open up, even a little, about the situation. He would always brush it off, insisting he was fine with that strained smile of his. Hinata didn't want to open up, he wanted to talk to you. He knew you needed him, yet you just weren't letting up. He couldn't stand another day of it.

probably wouldn’t last a day, every tears a rain parade from hell -from hell.

“S/o!” He yells boldly. Said girl turns around for a second, mixed emotions runs through her eyes before she turns away once more, readying herself to sprint down the hall when a hand grabs onto her wrist. She stares at the firm but gentle hand for a long second before glancing up. Hinata stares back at her with determined, though obviously nervous eyes. 

“W-we n-need to talk.” You pause a moment, but seeing his sad eyes once more makes your heart sink a little, pushing you into agreement. 

“Y-yeah, okay. But... After school okay?”

Baby you do it so well. You’ve been so understanding, you’ve been so good. And I’m puttin’ you through more than one ever should.

After school never came. He’s tried every single thing that had worked in the past. He's tried to intentionally fall in front of you, told Kageyama to set a ball into his face, make silly faces at you, jump really high for you, and oh boy, he jumped SO high! But not even a wink of a smile in his direction. Not even a crack of the old S/o. It was slowly slipping him down into a deep hole. He felt suffocated. Why couldn't he just make you happy? You deserve better. He had to do something before you realized that too. 

So when the final bell rang, he hurried out the door, shouting sorry’s to every person he bumped into.

The hallway was so crowded and his height didn’t help push him any faster, but that didn't stop him, he pushed on, becoming more and more frantic by the minute. He’ll miss you at this rate! But then a ray of sunshine poured in through the cloudy day.

Seeing your back towards him, almost at the gate, he sprints towards you at an almost inhuman speed before shouting for the last time, 

“S/O!” You whips around at the screeching sound only to be almost knocked onto the sidewalk by a small barreling body. Barely having time to get up, a hand tugs you by the wrist. 

“H-Hinata!” You squeal unsurely, but he only fastens his pace. “Stop! I’m gonna fall, you’re running too fast!” You yell when you catch hold of your senses, though the boy doesn't say anything. With a puff of your cheeks, and an irritated look appearing, you yell once more,

 “Hey, do you hear m-” 

“If I slow down now, you’ll run away from me again!” Not stopping his pace, he ducks his head, looking back at her, tears welling up in his eyes, “Please, don’t run away from me again.”

So I’m hating myself cause you don’t want to, admit that it hurts you.

A long silence ensues after settling onto the park swings. The moment you had sat down, Hinata turned towards you expectantly, awaiting you to spill what was happening. He already knew what was up, he just wanted you to confide in him.

You turn your body away from him, not wanting to see his face. Not because you were angry with him, you could never be angry with him so long...

Glancing back, you see him kicking the scruff of overturned dirt with the tip of his running shoe, sniffling a bit from what you tried so hard to assume was the cold of the autumn air. You knew it was because of you. No one could hurt that ray of sunshine more than you could, and you hated it.

How could you put him through all this? Its not fair to him. He probably hates you by now for acting this way. No...You know he could never hate you, he just wasn't like that. So the one left hating you was yourself. He just deserves so much better. 

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again, over him.

First it was only a few droplets. You were confused by it at first, looking up at the sky, only to see it perfectly clear. You let out a shaky laugh, alerting Hinata to look towards you after what felt like centuries long of fidgeting. Before long it was a down pour, your tears soaking the ground below. 

“I-I thought I was better.” You laugh dryly. Removing your hands from the chains of the swing. You look towards Hinata once more, tilting your head a little to humor yourself, “But it hurts so much still Shoyo, make it stop, please.” With wide eyes, Hinata is quick to get down on his knees in front of you, swiping a tear from your left eye, right above where the almost transparent scar was. Almost gone, but not quite. Just like the ache in your heart. 

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again, Instead of ghostin him.

Sobs shake through out your body, reminding you of all the pain he put you through, all the toxic things he did and said, all the things he wanted from you. Things you couldn’t provide, yet he demanded. Physically, verbally, mentally. Why did he do those things? 

Why couldn’t he just love you as much as you loved him? 

Hinata pulls you from the swing, leaving you to heave into his chest, clenching onto his shirt. 

“I’m s-sorry S-hoyo! I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve this.” He only shakes his head biting his lip to hold back his tears for you. Who could have done this to a girl as beautiful as you? The way you treat others, how smart you are, the way you snorted when you laughed, your smile, the way you make his heart thump, your big heart...All those things about you were so amazing. He’d do anything just for you to forget. To have all your pain go away.

We’ll get through this, we’ll get past this, I’m a girl with, a whole lot of baggage. 

He tries so hard to hold it in, to stay strong for you, but soon his bubble bursts as well and he’s sobbing just as hard as you. 

“N-no, S/o, you don’t deserve this. Don’t cry, please don’t cry anymore.” It only makes you cry harder, but little giggles escape, surprising the orange haired boy. 

“B-but y-you’re c-rying too, Sho...” You hiccup into his shoulder, squeezing tightly onto his body. 

“I-Im not! I got h-hit in the face with a-a vol-leyball for you this morning, It hu-hu-hurrts!” He cried out, squeezing onto you tighter, making you laugh harder through your tears. 

You nuzzle your face into his neck, your tears still not dying down, but your heart feeling a little less heavy. Pulling away from him, you look up to his bright brown eyes, filled with sorrowful tears, down to his trembling lips. 

With a shaky smile, you grab his face tenderly within your hands, this time wiping his tears away for him. Leaning in, you brush your nose against his, making his face erupt in red.

 Giggling a bit more, you pull his head down, leaving a warm kiss to the spot between his eyebrows where the obvious red mark lied. Letting your lips linger for a second, you sweep your hands past his face to the nape of his neck, looping your fingers together. Pressing your forehead against his, you whisper, 

“I don’t deserve you, but thank you for loving me like I do anyway. I love you so much, Shoyo.”

But I love you, we’ll get past this, I’m a girl with, a whole lot of baggage mm, yeah.