#completely telling on herself
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having ocd is crazy because im sharing a hotel room with my friend rn and last night i had a nightmare and woke up feeling like an unspeakably evil manipulative person and spent hours tossing and turning and thinking she would hate me for a) keeping her awake, b) being an evil manipulative person
and then in the morning she apologised if she kept me awake because apparently she kept waking herself up from farting
#life and debilitating mental illness are both so strange#the funniest thing is i only heard 1 fart and didnt even know if that was what it was#completely telling on herself#i should go back to therapy but i fear i am untherapisable by now#i have memories of ocd for as long as i have memories.. it's just baked into the hardware at this point
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In my Zeus bag today so I'm just gonna put it out there that exactly none of the great Ancient Greek warrior-heroes stayed loyal and faithful and completely monogamous and yet none of them have their greatness questioned nor do we question why they had the cultural prominence that they did and still do.
Jason, the brilliant leader of the Argo, got cold feet when it came to Medea - already put off by some of her magic and then exiled from his birthland because of her political ploys, he took Creusa to bed and fully intended on marrying her despite not properly dissolving things with Medea.
Theseus was a fierce warrior and an incredibly talented king but he had a horrible temper and was almost fatally weak to women. This is the man who got imprisoned in the Underworld for trying to get a friend laid, the man who started the whole Attic War because he couldn't keep his legs closed.
And we cannot at all forget Heracles for whom a not inconsiderable amount of his joy in life was loving people then losing the people around him that he loved. Wives, children, serving boys, mentors, Heracles had a list of lovers - male and female - long enough to rival some gods and even after completing his labours and coming down to the end of his life, he did not have one wife but three.
And y'know what, just because he's a cultural darling, I'll put Achilles up here too because that man was a Theseus type where he was fantastic at the thing he was born to do (that is, fight whereas Theseus' was to rule) but that was not enough to eclipse his horrid temper and his weakness to young pretty things. This is the man that killed two of Apollo's sons because they wouldn't let him hit - Tenes because he refused to let Achilles have his sister and Troilus who refused Achilles so vehemently that he ran into Apollo's temple to avoid him and still couldn't escape.
All four of these men are still celebrated as great heroes and men. All four of these men are given the dignity of nuance, of having their flaws treated as just that, flaws which enrich their character and can be used to discuss the wider cultural point of what truly makes a hero heroic. All four of these men still have their legacies respected.
Why can that same mindset not be applied to Zeus? Zeus, who was a warrior-king raised in seclusion apart from his family. Zeus who must have learned to embrace the violence of thunder for every time he cried as a babe, the Corybantes would bang their shields to hide the sound. Zeus learned to be great because being good would not see the universe's affairs in its order.
The wonderful thing about sympathy is that we never run out of it. There's no rule stopping us from being sympathetic to multiple plights at once, there's no law that necessitate things always exist on the good-evil binary. Yes, Zeus sentenced Prometheus to sufferation in Tartarus for what (to us) seems like a cruel reason. Prometheus only wanted to help humans! But when you think about Prometheus' actions from a king's perspective, the narrative is completely different: Prometheus stole divine knowledge and gifted it to humans after Zeus explicitly told him not to. And this was after Prometheus cheated all the gods out of a huge portion of wealth by having humans keep the best part of a sacrifice's meat while the gods must delight themselves with bones, fat and skin. Yes, Zeus gave Persephone away to Hades without consulting Demeter but what king consults a woman who is not his wife about the arrangement of his daughter's marriage to another king? Yes, Zeus breaks the marriage vows he set with Hera despite his love of her but what is the Master of Fate if not its staunchest slave?
The nuance is there. Even in his most bizarre actions, the nuance and logic and reason is there. The Ancient Greeks weren't a daft people, they worshipped Zeus as their primary god for a reason and they did not associate him with half the vices modern audiences take issue with. Zeus was a father, a visitor, a protector, a fair judge of character, a guide for the lost, the arbiter of revenge for those that had been wronged, a pillar of strength for those who needed it and a shield to protect those who made their home among the biting snakes. His children were reflections of him, extensions of his will who acted both as his mercy and as his retribution, his brothers and sisters deferred to him because he was wise as well as powerful. Zeus didn't become king by accident and it is a damn shame he does not get more respect.
#ginger rambles#ginger chats about greek myths#greek mythology#It's Zeus Apologist day actually#For the record Jason is my personal favourite of these guys#The argonauts are extremely underrated for literally no reason#And Jason's wit and sheer ability to adapt along with his piousness are traits that are so far away from what usually gets highlighted#with the typical Greek warrior-hero that I've just never stopped being captivated by him#Conversely I still do not understand what people see in Achilles#I respect him and his legacy I respect the importance of his tale and his cultural importance I promise I do#However I personally can't stand the guy LMAO#How do you get warned twice TWICE both by your mother and by Athena herself that going after Apollo's children is a bad idea#And still have the audacity to be mad and surprised when Apollo is gunning for Specifically You during the war you're bringing to His City#That You Specifically and Exclusively had a choice in avoiding#ACHILLES COULD'VE JUST SAID NO#I know that's not the point however so many other members of the Greek camp were simply casualties of Fate in every conceivable way man#Achilles looked at every terrible choice he could possibly make said “Well I'm gonna die anyway 🤷🏽” and proceeded to make the choice#so hard that he angered god#That's y'all's man right there#I left out Perseus because truthfully I don't actually know much about him#I haven't studied him even a fraction as much as I've studied some of the other big culture heroes and none of this is cited so i don't wan#to talk about stuff I don't know 100%#Anyway justice for Zeus fr#Gimme something give me literally anything other than the nonsense we usually get for him#This goes for Hera too btw#Both the king and queen of the skies are done TERRIBLY by wider greek myth audiences and it's genuinely disheartening to see#If y'all could make excuses for Achilles to forgive his flaws y'all can do it for them#They have a lot more to sympathise with I'll tell you that#(that is a completely biased statement; you are completely free and encouraged to enjoy whichever figures spark joy)#zeus
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rip your heart out.
#tina makes me think so many thoughts.#her story is just so.#her dilemma with love her dilemma with herself her whole ARC her disposition it's all so so amazing#let me tell you. this piece. was going to be completely different looking in the rough draft.#(a hastily scribbled doodle on a sticky note i made a few days ago)#ANYWAY this piece is meant to be an ode to her dilemma with love and..all that. can she love? if so why not? why?#I DONT KNOW I THOUGHT IT WAS A COOL IDEA#I also listened to ptloemaea by ethel cain while drawing this on loop + along with her new album so that#that contributed to the vibe quite a bit.#THIS IS A LOT OF WORD VOMIT UM LAST THING:#if any anatomy is off. ignore it i've tweaked the lineart too many times LOL#final fantasy 6#ffvi#ff6#final fantasy vi#sketch#final fantasy#terra branford#tina branford#my art
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#bellamyblakeedit#the100edit#bellarkeedit#bellaarke#the100daily#userkrislulu#usertimlucy#userleila#i can talk a lot about how this goes from blue to yellow#or how he exists the darkness (aka the blue) and comes back to the light (aka the yellow) but he does so#completely and utterly alone and broken in pieces#his heart bleeding#that's why i included the last gif where he watches her go#he takes a deep breath and goes back inside the ark (in the darkness of the metal walls) on his own and she heads to the forest#the other darkness (by herself) they only get a minute in the sun together#to tell each other how they feel and then they part ways each with their own anger to themselves and to each other but marching on alone#anyway sorry about that#my gifs
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unwell about neuvifuri again because for 400 years furina has encouraged neuvillette to open up to humanity, to make friends, to communicate and love and take time to enjoy himself, and over time neuvillette must have realized that furina never really did any of those things for herself, as hedonistic as she might’ve seemed on the surface
throughout the entire archon quest neuvillette is increasingly confused and distressed by furina’s refusal to communicate or confide in him… he notes that there’s something she feels she can’t trust him with after the arlecchino incident, and after their argument in his office he admits that he just doesn’t understand why she won’t communicate when that is the foundation of a healthy relationship (I will bet money that furina is the one who taught him that in the first place!)
he’s clear with her, she knows everything about him, but it slowly becomes evident that she doesn’t trust him in the same way and it must just eat neuvillette up inside that his closest confidant, the one who showed him how to form relationships and open up to people, can’t do the same with him
#I do think furina trusted neuvi the most but of course it could never be complete before the aq#and poor neuvi just doesn’t get why!!!!#why won’t she tell him what’s going on! why won’t she come to him when something’s wrong!#everyone going on abt one sided nvfr from furina’s end before 4.2#but honestly if anything it was one sided from neuvi’s end#furina had to convince herself she was totally alone… she couldn’t trust anybody… sob sob#neuvifuri#genshin impact#neuvillette#furina#blazie speaks
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it really steams me when people act like himiko got no development. even if you somehow missed the whole ending of chapter 3 where she finally stops repressing her feelings and sobs and swears that she'll make it out alive even though she's so lonely without angie and tenko, there's still a visible contrast between the apathetic, passively suicidal girl you first meet and later game himiko trying her best to keep going and keeping her chin up even though it's hard and scary
#i think its because shes a little more comedic reliefy post ch3#so people tend to forget how completely demotivated she was before#sort of why i Hate takes about ohh himiko was useless she should've died instead of whoever#when himiko herself expresses this sentiment and the game tells you that that's wrong#and that even if life seems like a pain you should still try your best.#the game literally has The Protagonist tell himiko she needs to live on#anywho tldr: ndrv3 is a game about not killing yourself#himiko yumeno
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NO ONE talks about how Hyuna is said to like cigarettes in her profile and is seen trying to light one in the "sweet dream" music video, but in all-in she isn't shown with a cigar at all, but rather a lollipop.
LOLLIPOPS ARE A COMMON REPLACEMENT FOR RECOVERING SMOKERS TO LET GO OF THE HABIT.
we know that she tends to run away from her problems and grief and stress through partying and drowning her sorrows out in drugs, but after she rescues mizi we don't see her doing that other than drinking some alcohol at a party.
something something her showing mizi freedom is a form of closure for her since she saw her past self in mizi, and in All-In she makes the decision to stop running away from her past, while mizi makes the same decision to stop ignoring the oppressive society she'd been living in all her life.
they're both taking the next step to letting go of their denial and cowardice, and to hyuna that means cutting low on the drugs she used to rely on, and GHHH ALL-IN WAS A MASTERPIECE THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT
#there was so much lore and so many messages in that video#probably the most informative and incredibly significant#with SOO many dark details and underlying themes#but i think the overall silliness made the fandom think it wasn't as important as it really is#AND DOESNT THAT SAY SOMETHING#about how hyuna hides the deeper and more tortured side of herself with parties and games#but then she's faced with something that reminds her of her past and she's completely thrown off#HER FREEZING UP AS A TRAUMA RESPONSE IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE. HYUNA LEMME PAY FOR YOUR THERAPY#sorry guys long rant#can you tell i adore hyuna#waiter! waiter! more hyuna character analyses please!#alien stage hyuna#alnst hyuna#alien stage#alnst
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me, 14 and reading the end of mockingjay:
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me, 24 and reading the end of the ballad of songbirds and snakes:
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#the hunger games#the hunger games: mockingjay#mockingjay#the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#suzzane collins#no amount of poverty or tragedy could possibly make coriolanus snow into a decent person#i went into the book knowing that it would make him out to be sympathetic and then he would just be The Worst™#but he really really really REALLY is just The Fucking Worst™#spoiler! the man just up and stole his friends parents! the friend that he got KILLED!#also the way that she was always referred to at lucy gray/lucy gray baird was very telling#he never called her lucy. just lucy. it was always lucy gray#even in their last scene together he was calling out for lucy gray not lucy#idk something something he doesnt see her as herself he sees her as an idea a tribute on a pedestal she has to think the same way as him#and when she doesnt he gets angry she has to love him only and when she admits to having a lover before him he gets angry#he gets angry and she has to apologise he gets angry and its always her fault she's the backwards thinker and he's far above her#idk his superiority complex was so intriguing especially since i think lucy was playing him and the capital like a fucking fiddle#nearly everything she said was too perfect for her to actually think like that#and when she said something wrong she would sooth him over#both manipulators in their own way and for completely different reasons#his was for superiority and her's was for survival
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Special Ops: Lioness - 1x01 - requested by anonymous
#specialopslionessedit#special ops lioness#special ops: lioness#aaliyah amrohi#cruz manuelos#stephanie nur#laysla de oliveira#special ops lioness 1x01#aaliyah x cruz#femslash related stuff#requested by anon#sent on 20230905#in hindsight the first gif can be read so differently lol#stopped short not just from seeing the target but from...seeing the *target*#lol#she was definitely forgetting herself later on too#and aaliyah flirting with this tall american with her hands in her pockets like five 5 sentences in#but I really think for their story to be completed at least four things have to happen!#cruz has to give her jewelry and ravage her on that turkish beach and teach her to drive#and has to tell her she loves her#aaliyah's said as much several times and cruz has said it but to joe lmao#I get and respect that she couldn't say it under these circumstances but it has to be said and she's free to now!
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every time I hear someone say "oh you have to listen to Dear Evan Hansen it has such good mental health representation" I cry in Next to Normal
#next to normal#and yes this is based on a true story#generally I dont try to juck anyones jum so I of course didn't tell that person what I was thinking at that moment#and if someone found Dear Evan Hansen a useful text in terms of their own mental health journey who am I to discredit that#but this is the internet and I am back on the ntn train#in a way it is my saf autumn musical#and yes I am a survior of the 2017 Tony Awards why were you asking?#no but seriously#it is so interesting how many narrative devices Dear Evan Hansen took from Next to Normal#but turned them into a less complete piece#like Gabe in ntn is a representation of unadressed grief and trauma and the family has to accept that he will never be really gone#and connor is just...idk not fully thought out?#idk I'm rambling#but also#how the love story between Henry and Natalie means something#Natalie sees her parent's relationship and desperately doesn't want that for herself and Henry at the same time also stand for#a piece of normalcy that seems attainable#you don't sit there and think hu why is there this completely separate love story thrown in there?#it mirrors the problems#and dear evan hansen#do I even have to say it#I thnk the thing I resent it most for is that it has a love story#naja#I'm of listening to net to normal some more#sorry I someone who really likes deh stumbles accross this#I feel like espechially musicals can be something that can be so personal#and I don't actually want to contribute to more stuff like#ew why do you like this when theres xyz that is so much better or morally purer or whatever#I guess what I do want to say is: if I had a nickle for everytime they made a musical about mental health where theres a ghost on stage and#the sister of the dead kid falls in love with a funny guy while her family is falling apart
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something that is like the baseline of amys entire character to me is that shes lonely. shes clingy and physically affectionate in a way none of her friends really are, shes always getting pushed aside and left behind. yeah, she helps out people she doesnt know because shes a nice person, but also, she sees part of herself in them. she wont leave someone else behind because she knows the feeling —and more importantly, hates the feeling. if she doesnt have somebody to stand by her and be there for her, then shes going to be that person for everybody else. something something her obsession with sonic is really just like a manifestation of that desire for closeness with someone, and she thinks that romance is the only way to get that. idk... this hedgehog can have so many abandonment issues.
#me posts#amy rose#sth#sonic the hedgehog#and this is not to say at all that romance is the only way to have 'real' love or anything#just that yknow part of her breaking free of that would also be realizing that she just wants closeness with someone and it doesnt-#-have to be romantic#aroace amy could fit this i suppose and she just doesnt know it yknow. thats not my hc but i support their beliefs if that makes sense#she wants to be loved and she wants to love and she doesnt really get a big outlet for that so she shares it with everyone she sees#also i didnt wanna jam up the post but GAMMA!! this is partially abt gamma she helps him find out how to love and how to find joy in it-#-bc its what she wants for herself. she sees him and sees how completely alone he is and she wants to help him. idk idk something something#-when she was locked in the cell she saw part of herself staring back at her#gamma parallels to amy is SLEPT ON i stg i could make a whole other post about it#idk.. whenever im writing amy or just thinking abt how shed interact with others its always from the lens that she craves closeness with-#-others. she wants people to just stay for once.#does this make any sense. idk man im rambling here#my worst nightmare is characterizing her wrong its such a fine line and sometimes the words do not come out of my brain right#btw this is NOT me dissing amy i love amy. she is like top three favorite character.#important context: im typing this with amy firefox theme rn ok. ok im an amy fan.#she points at the minimize button like shes telling me to log off#jesus christ i just scrolled back up i love to put a whole other post in the notes dont i
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I dare not speak it in the tag because I value my energy but no one has the correct opinions about nosferatu 2024 except for me
#Everyone has opinions about which parts of nosferatu are the problematic parts and everyone is wrong#Like!!!! I would love to talk about the potential implications of a story#Of a vulnerable young woman taken advantage of by an older more powerful man in her youth#And the lasting impact it has on her life and her relationships especially in the constraints of an 1800’s upper-class society#And how she believes herself “unclean” for her new husband because of it#And how said husband very firmly says “no you are not unclean or lesser for what was done to you and I love you no matter what”#And how ALL THOSE IMPLICATIONS feel tragically undermined#by the end of the story essentially saying that she HAS to have sex with the older man (and then die) to resolve the problems#And that’s just. Never challenged really.#There’s no twist to it not even some attempt at an angle of empowerment or reclamation of her sexuality or something#yknow that trope of how if we the audience are told the protagonist squads plan that plan is bound to go wrong#We are told the plan and it just happens#No the mustache guy having a breakdown and going to his wife’s crypt does not count as the plan going wrong#Because we got told the REAL plan that the van helsing stand in and Ellen had behind Thomas’ back#And THAT goes off without a hitch!#The ending just. Happens! And it’s bad that it just happens I think!#But then I go in the tag and there’s people like “it’s bad cuz they showed tiddy”#Like guys pls it’s more complicated than that#I was just reminded of the line “I do not need redemption” from Ellen and like YES THATS SO RIGHT#but then the story says “the only way to stop the count is for you to die”#And like there’s also something there about how how much she hates when Thomas gets her flowers at the beginning because they’re dead#And then at the end the professor scatters cut flowers around her body when she can’t tell him no#and like! That’s something! I can almost FEEL this movie trying to make its point but it just falls short#You cannot have it both ways you cannot be condemning this unfair treatment of Ellen but also leaving it completely unexamined#“goddamn you see that shit? That was fucking crazy. Anyway I’m Robert Eggers”
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cant put my finger on it, but Taylor Swift feels like walking racial microaggression
#it's not even the fact that she let herself become a white supremacist idol without telling them to fuck off#and when asked why she didn't she said she was from Nashville where the Dixie Chicks were a cautionary tale#meanwhile she had no qualms calling out sexism in the industry#but white supremacy was too far apparently#but leaving aside all of that‚ she's so fucking aggressively mediocre#and her 'girl gang' is just rich thin white women#let's not forget that racist Wildest Dreams video shall we?#she's talented and worked hard yeah but her parents are rich and connected as hell#also Swifties are some of the most obnoxious fucking people in music fandom#who get mad when WoC queer women and leftists can't stand her#the whole private jet thing was just icing on the cake tbh#Casey McQuiston had one throwaway line in RWRB where the MoC and Jewish girl dissed her#and half the white queers took that personally#Jesus fuck#let people hate rich thin white women#I mean heck I like Ed Sheeran's music but I don't take it personal when other people don't#then again I don't get idolising celebrities#just because I love someone's music doesn't mean I give much of a shit about them as people#these are objectively complete randos no matter what you think you know about them#anti Taylor swift#people with T-Swift hate blogs also dni#this post is about casual white privilege not whatever weird obsessive shit you got going on#white women#racism#white privilege#knee of huss
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Nino my beloved
#fire emblem#fe7#nino fire emblem#fanart#I think Nino despite everything still looks at her time with the black fang fondly#You can tell there's a complete shift in her cadence when talking with the Black Fang members and the rest of your allies in supports too#So.... I just think she looks back on that time a lot#Probably doesn't help that she allies herself with people who think of her best friends as enemies either#poor nino
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Nope no no no I hate drawing on paper sm guys I miss my stylus so bad
NOBODY LOOK AT THIS PLEASE.
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Yunieden baby for @wreckowafer
#yapping in the tag#yes he is named after a lee enfield rifle. please look me in the eyes and tell me eden would be thinking of baby names during the pregnancy.#and yunie isnt gonna name him!!!#yunie killed herself when he was like a year old so he doesnt remember her lmao#eden has told him about her but a very idealized version because he cant accept yunie killed herself because she had to have a baby#lee doesnt have any strong feelings about her#hes never been to town which he doesnt completely mind. cant miss what you never knew! cant long for what youve never seen!#better shot than his dad#eden thinks he has “aggression problems” (<- its the double inherited lustful trait which he has no outlet for)#um. jumpscares you with really bad art.#WHEN I GET MY STYLUS BACK GUYS. WHEN I GET IT BACK.#uhhhhh thats it guys idk#pat yaps#i was gonna dm wafer this but *i cant* so its fine its whatever everybody can see my crime against art (・ω・*)
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The Ballad of Jane Doe but as it relates to Sasha/Not-Sasha/The Stranger. You get me?
#i was just relistening to it and OUGH there’s a lot of good stuff#sasha begging for someone to tell her she’s a person/not-sasha needing sasha to inform her who she is#the background music would work very well in the ritual#‘choir never complete’ = the originals slowly getting picked off STARTING WITH HER#the overarching theme of identity loss and the desperate search for it integral to jane’s character (rtc tma au???)#and more closely related to the play jane looks very much like an avatar. all-black eyes. very puppetlike movements when she’s in the air#the way she’s just slightly off and makes the other kids’ hair stand on end. constantly asking them questions about herself#questions she should have the answers to.#she’s erased from the news coverage of the incident like not-sasha erased the original from record so her coworkers don’t realise#ooooooooh i could go on GO LISTEN AND COME BACK#the magnus archives#ride the cyclone#tma#rtc#sasha james#jane doe#the ballad of jane doe#the stranger#not sasha
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