#completely sealed away and inaccessible the moment i try to apply it to something that isnt for fun
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im literally so fucking fast at reading but only when im doing it for fun. its not fair. its not fair
#the passion that comes so naturally to me with things i enjoy is like#completely sealed away and inaccessible the moment i try to apply it to something that isnt for fun#like i KNOW i have a very powerful mind that is a boon to me with hobbies#but not even controlled prescription stimulants are able to fully unlock it. its just not fair#its so frustrating. i wish my brain worked#like i dont need to be PASSIONATE about everythign but#everything else feels like a slog
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