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#completed every day I was home plus one extra
starlightswitch · 16 days
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Just 45 Years Difference
(for Writer's Month day 31 prompts double and beach)
Aubrey’s favorite seat at the beach bar was open, and so was the seat next to it. The one next to that was taken by an elderly man, maybe a little older than Nick’s grandpa. “Hey,” Nick said, putting his hand on the back of it, and then quickly corrected himself to sound more polite. “Excuse me. Do you mind if we sit here?”
“Go right ahead,” said the man, with a gesture of welcome.
They sat. Nick ordered a mai tai, which had been his drink of choice so far. Aubrey tried something new, a rum cocktail called a Love Bird. They’d had their drinks about ten seconds when Nick started tapping his hand on his glass so his ring clicked.
The man smiled. “Newlyweds?” he said.
“Yeah,” said Nick, with a bit of surprise, and then, “I guess a lot of people our age are here on their honeymoon.”
“That,” said the man, “and—” And he clicked his ring too.
“Oh,” said Nick.
“As if you don’t still do that regularly,” said his wife. She leaned around him to grin at Aubrey, who giggled.
“Anniversary?” Nick asked, gesturing to them with his glass. “I guess everyone who’s not here on their honeymoon is here for their anniversary.”
The man nodded. The woman said, “Forty-fifth.”
“Forty-fifth? Wow.”
“Congrats,” added Aubrey, raising her glass. She reached it over and they both clicked with her.
“Any advice?” said Nick.
The man said seriously, “It’s too late for my advice if you’re already married.”
Audrey burst out laughing. She had to put her drink down before she spilled it.
“Beg your pardon?” said his wife. She looked like she was trying not to laugh.
The man rolled his eyes. Still looking at the ceiling, he said, “The advice was not ‘don’t get married’. The advice was ‘don’t marry the wrong person’. That’s really the key to staying married for 45 years and being happy about it. You have to marry the right person.”
“Aw,” said his wife. She offered him her hand. He kissed it.
“Ooh, can I see your ring?” said Audrey, sticking out her own left hand.
“Quote of the trip,” Nick said to the husband. “We talk to someone for two sentences and she wants to see their ring.”
“Why would I not when we’re in a place full of happy married couples and I love rings? Ooh, pretty!” she said, leaning in closer when the woman held out her hand. “I thought about doing that for my wedding band—the stones inside the band like that. But I didn’t necessarily like how it looked with the curved band.”
“I thought about a plain band to match his but he could tell I loved the sparkle. And it turned out to be seven diamonds—” She spun it to show the diamonds didn’t go all the way around. “—which I like because we met when we were seventeen.”
“Aw,” said Audrey. “I should tell my sister that,” she told Nick, “if she and Mitchell stay together.”
“First marriage in your families?” the man asked.
“No,” said Nick.
“Mine yes,” said Audrey. “I just have a younger sister.” She giggled. “When she gets married I just want her to get all our same vendors. Especially our photographer. And our DJ.”
“What about you guys?” said Nick. “Grandkids getting married yet?”
“A couple already married. The next one could be proposing any day now.”
“Ryan should have proposed already,” the man put in. “That girl’s going to get tired of waiting.”
“That girl would never,” the woman said with a smile, “and you know it.”
In the lull, Nick took another drink, then looked at his glass. “I guess I might as well get another when I’m done with this one,” he said. “I don’t think we’re going swimming anytime soon.”
“We could get lunch,” said Audrey.
Nick turned to the other couple—“Do you want to get lunch? We could all go together.”
“Do you want to spend your honeymoon with a couple of geezers?”
The woman gave him a mischievous look. “Do we want to spend our anniversary with a couple of young whippersnappers?”
“It could be like a little double date!” said Aubrey.
The woman grinned. “We met on a double date,” she said, touching her ring with its seven stones. “At least, it was supposed to be a double date.”
“Supposed to?”
“There’s a story there,” said Nick.
The woman got to her feet, reached for her husband’s hand, and gestured with her head. “I’ll tell you at lunch.”
--
2020 day 31: Something New By Moonlight (there was only one bed!  x FFF 64 made from stardust)
2021 day 31:  Grandma’s Blessing (purple)
2022 day 31: Good At Asking Questions (rainbow + artist and model)
2023 day 31: Someone on Her Side (at a hotel)
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cozage · 3 months
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Hii!! Can you write some headcanon about how they are with their s/o after 20 or 30 years passed? Or in their old age. Ace Law and Zoro please.(Please include Ace. You know what i mean right? 🥺) With a female reader. Thank you ❤️
A/N:Forgive any typos please :) Characters: gn reader x Ace, Law, Zoro Cw: None :) Total word count: 1k
Years Passed
Ace
After Whitebeard passed, Ace was one of the top contenders to lead the pirate crew, but ultimately the Whitebeard Pirates disbanded. It didn’t feel right without Pops. The two of you sailed around with a smaller ship for a few years before retiring to your favorite island.
That being said, you all still take trips to other islands or sail for a while to celebrate special occasions. 
While you all don’t go out drinking nearly as much as you used to, you’re still regulars at the local tavern. On Friday nights they like to play music, and you trade stories with the new “kids” who are brave enough to take on the Grand Line.
He still brings you breakfast in bed every Saturday morning, complete with fresh-cut flowers. Breakfast is never the same; he always seems to know just what you're in the mood for.
You all ended up having kids. Ace wanted one hundred, but you cut him off after three. 
He still likes to bring home a stray kid he found on the side of the street every now and then, and you never minded having the extra rooms filled for as long as they needed to stay. Some stayed for only a few days, some stayed for years. You loved them all the same.
Just about every night, the two of you make it a priority to sit out and watch the sunset. The moments together are truly what makes life feel worth living
Even after all these years, he sticks up for you and loves you without shame. He’s never afraid to show you off or plant a kiss on your lips when he thinks someone else is eyeing you. He loves to brag about you and all of the light you’ve given him over the years to just about anyone who will listen. 
Law
It took Law a long time to find a place worth settling down in. You all finally decided on Zou.
It made sense. He was a wandering spirit, Zou was a wandering civilization. He could still move about while being in one place. Plus, you always had a feeling he would have a harder time parting with Bepo than he ever let on. 
He ended up working as a doctor for the minks (no surprise there) and found that his favorite part of the day was when he got to help kids feel better. 
Your moment of peace and tranquility, even after all these years, is the morning cup of coffee you all share. You never get tired of that simple moment between the two of you, and you cherish it with your whole heart. 
Every Friday, Bepo’s family comes over for dinner. The kids typically put on some silly play or performance or rope you all into games they want to play, and you all will stay awake far longer than you ever care to admit. 
You always complain about how exhausted you are on Saturdays, and Law promises “We’ll kick them out earlier next week”, but you never do. You would never want to limit your time with Bepo and his family anyway, the complaining is more to get out of any chores you may have promised to do. 
Law loves in the quietest of ways. He prefers to stay in and curl up on the couch, or he’ll bring you a book to read in bed alongside him. But he never goes to sleep without kissing you first. 
Zoro
Zoro still groans when you get out of bed. He almost always pulls you back in with a “five more minutes” mumble. You had begun accounting for this delay years ago, but it still makes your heart flutter when he pulls you back in and wraps his arms around you so that you can’t escape. 
He runs his own dojo now, that operates solely off of donations (and the load of gold you all have from your pirating days). Kids can come to practice, or they can live and work there too. It’s a very satisfying occupation for both of you. 
Funnily enough, Zoro found a strange love for cooking. Well, grilling. He loves to grill. You used to joke about it being a necessary qualification to be a dad, but now he just tries to grill everything. Dinner is almost always covered, but you never know what new thing he’s going to try (and yes, he does have a really corny apron like “#1 Grillmaster” or something).
He likes to stay in most of the time nowadays. If you go out, it’s usually to a small place that is more family-style than bars. 
However, he likes to go to a bar with you sometimes and pretend that you all don’t know each other. He’ll spend the whole night flirting with you and finally end the night with “So, you coming home with me or what?”. He ALWAYS has new pickup lines or witty things to say to you. 
Zoro prefers to keep you to himself. He guards you fiercely and will defend you to death if someone even considers looking at you wrong. The first thing he teaches at the dojo is that you deserve respect above anyone else, and disrespect to you will mean immediate dismissal from the program. He can’t stand to see anything that might cause you pain.
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luv-gukkie · 8 months
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★ 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐲 ★
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pairing: yandere! yoongi x f. reader
genre: smut || non-idol au || yandere
summary: yoongi just can’t seem to get enough at the way you look at him; he really loves it, even if it’s a mix of fear and hatred.
word count: +4.5k
tags/warnings: ᑲᥙᥣᥣᥡіᥒg, non-con, ᥡ᥆ᥙᥒg ⍴rᥱgᥒᥲᥒᥴᥡ, sᥕᥱᥲrіᥒg, ᥲᑲ᥆r𝗍і᥆ᥒ mᥱᥒ𝗍і᥆ᥒᥱძ, reader is scared to disappoint parents, wealthy!yoongi, he’s brutally mean (which is not cool), sub! reader, dom! yoongi, blackmail, mentions of bribing/corruption in a school & police, he lowkey sadistic
notes: another little story is on the works for jungkook and yoongi, unfortunately, i don’t know when i’ll finish though :’)
༻❤︎︎ ★ ★ ❤︎︎༺
Min Yoongi was exploring his ideas, much into thought about what else he could to make you notice him even more. Every time he would torment you, he would be captured by how stunning you looked, and that was just on you wearing one of the uniforms that was required by the school.
Yoongi knew it was something that he shouldn't do to someone he loved. Despite that, he knew it was his only way to place your attention on him. He didn't really mind doing what he did, he had nothing against you. Yoongi just had a huge crush on you. And you would learn in the future of how a 'huge crush' was a complete understatement. Yet, he found it lovely when you would look around the room to see if he was there. He adored that.
You knew about him, as your bully. The guy who over the year spent his time making fun of you, and the worst thing was no one ever stopped him. His actions repeated daily. Maybe because Yoongi was the happiest person alive when you would only place the spotlight on him. Dared the others to say anything. He knew your main focus was on him as soon as you entered the school building until the moment you left. But you weren't! Not one bit of glee in your body when you knew you had five days ahead of you that would make you want to stay home because of a certain boy.
You hated him, you didn't even know what you did wrong to make him center you and torture you throughout your highschool year. But whatever you could have done, you surely regretted it.
He would constantly threaten you. Telling you threats after threats: "listen or else..." However, you began to notice that Yoongi would always repeat the same threat over and over. That if you told anyone about what he was doing, he would treat you more worse. Of course you had been petrified of asking for help from your peers or professors. You didn't want to get on his bad side even more.
But you started believing that he wouldn't even be able to stand close to you after telling an adult, that a restraining order would do the trick. So you were going to tell an adult, the adult that was responsible of the school, and you did. You had informed the principle on your situation with Yoongi and what did they do, nothing. You waited for them to assure you he wouldn't try anything. But they didn't care, and didn't even attempt to do something about the situation. You recalled calling them useless hags the next day, when you had been spotted again by Yoongi. And yet again, at his reach.
There was other options...
You were too afraid to tell your parents. You didn't know why you would be, your parents would assist you, help you overcome the obstacle of Yoongi bullying you. They would take into consideration that you could not be bullied anymore, you had finally build up the courage you needed in order for you to tell them, today. However, at the end of the day your teacher assigned you to clean the classroom after school. Just the day you really needed to go home, to prepare and relax yourself before breaking the news to your parents.
But it didn't go as plan. The teacher had to leave the classroom and told you to do some cleaning, if you wanted extra credit. And who wouldn't want extra credit, you could still have enough time to prepare yourself, plus your parents wouldn't be home until later.
What you didn't know was that Yoongi had been planning to see you after school and to surprise his lovely kitten.
Yoongi took it far, very far.
You had been cleaning up the classroom muttering some curses to your teacher when you heard the door 'bang' as it shut close. You slightly jumped at the sudden unexpected noise. Quickly turning around, you saw Yoongi, in a harsh tone you told him that the teacher was around, and if he did anything they would definitely find out. You began to pour out profanities at him, making sure to make him understand how much hate you had for him. Shouting across the room that the outcome of anything he did, would surely result in punishment.
Yoongi couldn't hold back, a smile became visible on his lips. He spoke calmly, "I have enough money from my parents to keep the school quiet. Nobody cares of your well being, the staff was easily bribed, they even accepted the first offer I had given."
You cursed at him: "fuck you." Adding that you would tell your parents and that they would take it to the police, he grinned. Your mind was racing with thoughts of how to get out of the situation, out of the classroom.
Yoongi slowly made his way to you, hoping that you would just accept the fact that you were stuck with him. But you sure were stubborn. He had been so close to having you, to only to have you run towards the other side.
You were trying your best not to get stuck between him and the walls. To approach the door.
It was a game of cat and mouse between the both of you. You were the little mouse struggling to free yourself from the claws of the wicked cat.
Finally, Yoongi gave up on being so gentle on you. He had to admit, it was cute: how you tried your very best to avoid him, at all cost. It left him with one choice, his only decision was to tackle you, so he did.
Yoongi did what he had to do.
And so did you. You definitely weren't going to let him take advantage of you. You punched him, managing to get out of his aggressive grip, only for him to yell at you with a harsh tone to come back.
Yoongi and you both knew the truth, you weren't considering to ever come back to him. You were choosing your freedom, still, even if it came with the slight prospect of getting caught by him.
Running out the door with all the desperation you had; the desire to get the hell out of the school, more importantly away from any place that Yoongi was. You raced to find anyone, your mind and heart racing: Where are all the clubs today? They were always here or the staff? Anyone?
There was still that expectation in you, that you were going to get away Yoongi. "There!" You happily annoyed, you had spotted the teacher that told you to clean the classroom, you told her everything about Yoongi in a nutshell, explaining that Yoongi was still trying to do something to you.
Something that you didn't want at all, anticipating for her to hold you and to never let go, until you were safe and sound. And at the end of the day, Yoongi would be expelled from the school, the only way to make him disappear from your life.
To never see or hear about him again.
"Found you!" a voice said from behind. You recognized it right away, of course you did, the only male that called you by that nickname. The same male that had just attacked you.
You quickly stared at the teacher, assuming she would pull you behind her and shield you from Yoongi. You indicated her to do something, gesturing your hands to her.
The tears of anxiety started rolling down your checks, you held back the choked sobs that were daring to come out any second.
She just gazed at you. You waited for her to say something. Anything. You just wanted her to aid you by fleeing you from your situation. Despite what you saw in her eyes: the condolence and remorse. What she said was unexpected, her intense gaze fell to the floor, she whispered to him, "Take her quickly because it's making me feel pity."
That was it, that was enough to break you into pieces.
Your heart ached, your emotions mixed together. You felt completely confused and fearful, the realization had hit you with an unpleasant brunt.
It was always about the money. The wealth.
The teachers followed what the student said, in this case, Yoongi was the student with money all around him, the heir to his family's businesses. Everyone listened to the commands of the rich kid—- the spoiled brat.
They were willing to turn a blind eye for Yoongi's 'ugly' demands.
You were lost in everything, mind racing with assumptions. Your eyes no longer had that gleam of hope in them, that optimism. It was long gone, no one is ever going to help you, neither are they going punish Yoongi for his actions.
Ever.
It was you against Yoongi's power, and that easily managed to get people on his side. You were certain that bribes were flooding the school, the lies that were kept in the dirt for specific reasons. Teachers ignoring stunts, like the ones Yoongi pulled on you, for their very own convenience.
You had completely forgotten of what he had told you earlier, how he had manage to keep the whole staff silent because of how he contributed to the school daily, with of course, the power and wealth he had from his family. You wished that you could've remembered, you would have made no excuse to stop running for the support from a teacher that was on his side, helping him. You should've just ran until you were out of the school, and out of his sight.
That would have definitely guaranteed your safety. Now it was just dissolved. Yoongi grabbed your sides, motioning that he was going to pick you up.
One more. Once more. One chance.
You fought against him, using all the strength that you had left. Begging the teacher to assist you, but you heard her heels click farther and farther away. Till there was nothing to hear, just his footsteps as he carried you away, back into the same direction.
Yoongi brought you to the same classroom that you had just been in. Where it all started. It was ironic that the classroom you were in had been the only class you didn't have Yoongi in. The class that made you feel secure and so sure of yourself.
Now, all you felt was horrified of what was going to become of you.
The room diffused with cries and yearns for someone to get Yoongi off you. You attempted pushing him off, but you were weak, you had used all your stability earlier. You just had to accept it. Yoongi spent that time responding back by muttering that you should 'shut the fuck up' or  'stop moving around'. It was getting on his nerves, he was an impatient man. Especially when it came to you, and dealing with your tantrum, when all he wanted was to fill you with cum.
And with his offspring.
That single thought had fractured any patience he had left. Yoongi couldn't hold it in; his hand straightened in the air as it fell down on your check with a great force. A red-hand mark was in-printed on your face. He slapped you, the action left you trembling. You were breaking down, bawling out completely, you closed your eyes lids shut.
Yoongi felt guilty, he didn't want to take these measures, like hurting you into giving him what he wanted. Exactly to how he just had. But he wanted and needed you at that moment. It was time that you learn his true intentions towards you.
Yoongi grabbed his belt and wrapped it around your hands. He sat on your legs, stopping any movement that you were doing that meant you could have a chance of escaping.
Yoongi saw his reflection on your eyes that were gleaming because of the tears that were pouring out. He had you in his arms. After every "little" debate you two had throughout the year, there you were, under him and ready for him to fuck with. Without no regrets of what he was doing. He giggled, "I've finally got you!"
In an instant your shirt was being unbuttoned by Yoongi, you wished you could swipe his disgusting smirk off his face. Was he really going to do it?
"Stay quiet, it'll be over soon." 
Your shirt was grabbed roughly and thrown at a desk, it was exactly your desk. You could see your backpack, it was neatly placed on the corner of the desk, the complete opposite of how you were.
Your hair was messy, your tear-streaked face was slightly red as the batches of tears poured out, the room was overflowing with yelps that emerged from you and constant snickers from Yoongi.
Your legs were on either side of Yoongi, his body separated them so that you couldn't close them shut at all. Then you felt the slight tug at your bra, he unclasped it, and your breasts were let loose for his eyes to devour.
And soon his mouth did too.
His thumbs played with one nipple by pulling it and flicking it, while his tongue licked the other. Yoongi had managed to make you let out a slight whine, it was something you weren't used to at all therefore feeling it for the first time had made it difficult to hold back sounds.
You paid attention to the undergarment that laid on the floor as Yoongi's shirt landed right on top of your bra. His hand snuck into your skirt, "I love your little skirt", his fingers raced against the hem of skirt and soon enough his fingers were rubbing your inner thighs.
His hands were cold and it made you shiver, especially when he was taking your panties off, sliding the material off you on to your ankles and then it was finally off. Yoongi gawked at they thing he desired for a long time, there it was, right in front of him, your pussy.
Yoongi's nose came into contact with your slit, giving it a long lick as he felt the sticky essence from your pussy get on his tongue. One of his hand squished your left breast, his other hand's digits caressed your cunt. In one motion your cunt sucked his fingers in, "Look at you sucking in my fingers", you squeaked at the sudden entrance. Repeated moans left your lips as Yoongi continued ramming his digits into you, he was enjoying every second of the view.
Your head was thrown back, eyes rolled back, your mouth wide opened to release your delightful moans of his fingers plunging themselves into you, your hands gripping onto the belt he trapped your hands in, and the sounds that came where his fingers met your pussy.
And before you could cum, his digits stopped moving and removed themselves. You were groaning at the fact that you felt a tense pain that wouldn't be let loose. You had been too into focus on the release that you failed to notice Yoongi pulling off his uniform, his fingers still wet because of your cunt, leaving marks on his clothes but he didn't mind. All he cared and was anticipating to do was plunge himself deep into your cunt.
To see you moaning, whining, and panting under him, and because of him and his cock. Yoongi would love to see what his mind was visualizing, and he was going to have it. Yoongi sure was spoiled, to have you laid on the floor, your pussy practically begging him to fuck you even though you didn't dare to utter a word.
Yoongi's cock was free as his last pair of clothing was out of the way. His hands spread your legs wider to see your little pussy sulking for his cock to enter you. His hands lifted themselves off yours inner thighs and onto your bosoms. Yoongi pressed them together and held them as he lowered his head to spectate where the two of you would connect.
Yoongi's flushed tip pressing against your folds, he moved his warm head up and down, spreading your wetness on your cunt, he hoped that it would assist in pushing himself in. "I'm bigger than average s-so", he mentioned, wedging his head into your cunt. A low moan slipped out of his mouth, his eyes rested on your expression, which was a painful one. Yoongi felt more blood rush to his cock, he pushed himself forcefully into your crimson walls, "Gosh you're such a turn on!" He groaned out.
A scream ran out of your parted lips and a following cry as well. You were in discomfort, afflicted by the feeling of something inside you, parting your walls apart. All Yoongi could do was be patient and hold back until you got used to his cock filling you up.
Yoongi stayed still, glancing at your stomach which you made you curiosity spark to see what he was so focused on. It was a bulge that showed that his cock was inside of you, it could be seen easily spotted. Yoongi hand reached out, patted the spot, and then pressed down on it. You felt an ache, and shows it by the wailing and the shedding of tears, you had started to get used to it but it still distressed your walls.
A few groans or 'fucks' escaped as he started jamming his cock harder, you still weeped. However, Yoongi had hit a perfect area that resulted in you letting out a loud whimper in return. He pounded into you with his all his force, your back arched in response. The sounds and smell had pervaded the room, your moans and whines or Yoongi's grunts and low whimpers could be heard.
The pace had gotten sloppier as Yoongi was close, you on the other hand, had already cummed on his cock. All you were waiting for now was for him to finish. His cock twitching before your walls were tainted with his cum, and you milked his dick again.
Yoongi thrusted a few more times, he made sure that you weren't on anything and that his sperm was spread throughout your insides enough for it to flourish into something.
He pulled out and pumped his cock a few times before slipping his fingers in your cunt, making sure his cum wouldn't be wasted and would be well kept in your pussy. He chose to ignore the small puddle of blood on the floor, grabbing a tissue in his backpack and cleaning it up, making sure you couldn't catch the crimson red that stained the white tissue. Hiding it in his pocket.
Yoongi was your first. You didn't want to, now here he was fixing you up while you processed everything that rushed throughout your mind. Your cheeks had dried tears on them. The scenes playing over and over in your head. Yoongi had taken your virginity, the boy you hated with your guts.
It wasn't exactly him taking it that frightened you, but the fact that you didn't want it.
"I'll drop you off at your parents, okay." He gripped your hand tightly, trying to gain your attention. You were too silent for his liking, it made him upset. Were you mad at him?
He planned on dropping you off, you had no ride and probably, didn't have the ability to walk home either. And it wasn't something Yoongi would let you do anyways. Yoongi didn't say anything and didn't do anything to you in the car ride. Nonetheless, he gazed from time to time, and if you would have turned to face him, you would have seen the concern in his eyes.
Yoongi was worried for you, he knew it must have been painful for you. He just kept manipulating his mind to believe that he had to do it or he would never be with you. You would never choose to be with him, and he couldn't let that happen.
You didn't tell them, your parents, they weren't even home the moment you arrived. Your mom worked late and your father did too, they tried making so much money, in order for you to live your life and study. Something they couldn't do. So you studied and did your best in everything. From completing every assignment, getting the best grades, and having over 90s in every class. And if you failed, even in the smallest way, you felt like a burden and you were scared of failing them.
So you stayed quiet. However, you forgot to buy something very important, and that mistake would cost you: your future.
You had told the school, they did nothing. So now you felt like no one was going to believe you. Especially since Yoongi had well explained to you that he had plenty of money to keep the whole staff silent, meaning that he had all the money to bribe the police as well.
So the only thing you had left was to keep silent and live on, maybe he won't bother you anymore. He won't follow you, or touch you either. Maybe all along, that's what he wanted. Something to stick his dick in.
Wrong.
Yoongi stayed by your side even more and instead of bullying you, he would only degrade you when didn't listen to him, he wanted you to skip classes to be with him and to keep you away from your classmates. Yoongi switched his seats, he sat next to you in all the classes, whispering to you about gross things, describing things that he wanted to do to you.
A complete nightmare.
On the other hand, you had been sick for days already, throwing up contents from last nights' dinner almost every morning. The only reason that came to mind was the stomach virus that was going around school, thinking that you probably had a weaker defense from sicknesses, so you caught it longer. It was awful.
You noticed that Yoongi had been acting weird around you lately, bringing you stuff, and to proof, bears or little love notes overcrowded your locker, leaving you with predictions that something bad was going to happen.
Soon enough it did.
You were pregnant. With his child.
It didn't make sense to you why you were throwing a whole tantrum, meanwhile he was all cheerful and relaxed, happy to know about this upcoming child. You found out after he specifically told you to take the test in the middle of the night. Yoongi had sneaked into your house, by your room window, after you mentioned you're sickness during the day. Knowing that your parents were a room away, he kept silent, and the first thing you noticed was the pharmacy bag. "You didn't use birth control...did you?" Was the first thing he whispered when both of your eyes met.
A severe panic inflicted inside you, worry that piled onto you: this couldn't be happening. You couldn't be pregnant with Yoongi's child. There was still a slight possibility that it was false.
You believed you weren't, you weren't suppose to get your period until a couple more days. Therefore, you were confident about the negative sign you would face and took the test, now here you are facing the consequences. The two red visible lines showing off the truth, after eight test and multiple pair of dark red lines, it was the same reason you were throwing up in the mornings.
The worst thing was when he told you that the both of you could raise the baby together. However, what angered you the most about his behavior was how calm he was. Especially when he mentioned that you should stop your education, that he could maintain both of you with his money, to become his wife and take care of his children.
What kind of life was that? No, you couldn't, and you wouldn't. You looked for something in your life, a profession that you would love. And that your parents would too. A career that made your parents proud, finishing highschool, heading to college, and later in life, obtaining a great job!
And this child wasn't going to help. Neither was Yoongi.
There was only one solution that came to your mind. You quickly proclaimed 'an abortion', it was the only way that you could actually live the life you wanted. Even as conflicted and horrible you felt for speaking briefly about it, you couldn't help it, you didn't want to have a child at your age.
You were still so young, had so many things left to experience, to do! A life you wanted to take slow and take your time with, every single moment of it, savoring it.
Yoongi observed you at the comment you spurred out. "Tsk- you've got to be kidding me", he studied you, to see if you would apologize, and you didn't. "You're a bitch." Yoongi couldn't believe that you didn't want to carry his child, he would give his everything to have you, but you couldn't do one thing in return for him. It destructed him. "Don't lie."
His words were the usual, and yet it was enough to know that he knew you, probably even better than you knew yourself. Of course you weren't able to do the abortion, but think about it, your future would go down the drain for the life inside of you. There would be not a lot of opportunities, Yoongi had made it clear and set on you being the house wife, no more.
However, the guilt accumulated, now you couldn't even think about the decision. Killing an innocent child, was it something you could do?
"No."
Yoongi held your hands as he blurted out the same word that was in your mind, and if you couldn't do an abortion. The rest of troubles would tumble down on you, like explaining to your parents on how you were gonna give birth to a child in the span of nine months.
——shit——
The small display of affection dispersed, Yoongi's grip compressed on your wrist, forcing your teary red eyes to look at him, meanwhile his own eyes have a glint of amusement in them.
That night was left with you cuddled in Yoongi's embrace, as he whispered 'things' that would make you have brand new batches of tear coat the dried ones on your cheeks, you just wanted to sleep.
In the end, his hand reached to your stomach, patting it carefully, a small peck landed on your forehead. "I love you", he continued telling you how much he loved you and the baby, "and always will." He deliberately tried to manipulate you.
But you knew better, his words were venom to someone's ears. Now you knew better than to fall for his devious schemes.
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paradiseprincesss · 3 months
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i want you | jonathan crane
wrote this because i see a lot of tropes where the reader is innocent or never really had a boyfriend before...but what if the reader has an extensive list of ex's? then what? i had to write it lol this was an attempt to make MYSELF feel better about that!!
summary: jonathan wants to show you how devoted he is to you, regardless of how rocky your past relationships (and trust me, there were a handful) have been.
warnings: smut, p in v, swearing, kissing, a smidge of body worshipping cus i discovered how much i like it lol, overall adult content lol, MDNI 18+ ONLY
word count: 2k
masterlist
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don’t we all come with some baggage? yes — the answer is yes. 
you clung onto jonathan’s arm, walking right by his side as he talked to a plethora of socialites. tonight, you and him were attending a charity gala hosted at wayne manor for publicity reasons. i mean, when you’re dating one of the most notoriously successful men of gotham, it was expected. 
jonathan knew that you loved him; you made that abundantly clear every chance you got. tonight, however, jonathan had lost count of the number of men who’d approached you.
normally, he wouldn’t care — this wasn’t unusual by any means. jonathan knew that having a girlfriend as beautiful as you came with strings attached. the strings being men drooling over you everywhere you went, but this was different.
tonight, jonathan was feeling a little jealous. 
it turned out that the majority of the men that had approached you tonight had a past with you — as in a romantic past. 
“it’s so good to see you!” 
“you look stunning like always.” 
“how have you been these days?” 
“remember when we—“
jonathan had enough of it, but alas, he had to pretend that he didn’t care. he had to play the role of the loving boyfriend — which he was, don’t get me wrong, but he also wanted to dose every man who spoke to you with an extra concentrated version of his fear toxin. 
the night of socializing and mingling (and one too many glasses of champagne) had eventually come to an end, and you were exhausted by the time you got home with jonathan.
“you’re certainly popular.” jonathan said as the two of you walked through your shared apartment's front door. 
“i— what?” you said back in confusion. glancing over at jonathan, you saw that he looked a little irritated — jaw clenched and all. 
“all those guys,” jonathan clarified as he took his glasses off, “i didn’t know you’d dated so…many people before me.” 
you sighed and walked over to him, running your hand up and down his bicep. “you’ve never brought this up to me before, jonathan. i wish you’d said something sooner—“
“usually i wouldn’t be so agitated about it, but i just— you had a history with a handful of the men there.” he interrupted, clearly upset. “you never told me.” 
“i didn’t think i needed to,” you sighed, “and i’m sorry.” 
your dating history wasn’t exactly a clean slate, but it wasn’t that bad — there was just a few extra names on your metaphorical list than most people had. you were young and having fun, plus commitment wasn’t exactly on your mind until you’d met jonathan.
in all honesty, it was a good thing — you’d never been interested in being serious with anybody until jonathan. usually, you were the first to pack your bags and run; leaving a trail of broken hearts behind you before moving onto the next like spitfire.
and sure, you may have been what some would call a  “serial heartbreaker” before jonathan, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t change. you liked your options — was that so wrong? 
well, two is company and three is a crowd — as they say. 
as for every man you’ve dated, you’d never really been sure of someone before — except jonathan. you were sure he was the one, the man you’d spend the rest of eternity with. 
“am i just another guy to you?” jonathan suddenly asked rather bitterly, completely catching you off guard. 
“what? no,” you shook your head, “god, no. you— you’re the first guy i’ve ever been so sure about.” 
“am i, though?”
“i love you, jonathan. you know i do.” you insisted, tugging at his arm while he remained stoic. “you’re the first man i've ever loved.”
though he hated to admit it — he got jealous sometimes. he would never say it aloud, but when your ex’s had approached you and struck up a conversation, he was borderline livid. it took an immense amount of self-control for him to not strangle any of them upon sight, if he was being honest.
and just between you and me, he may have been feeling a little insecure, too. 
“i’m still trying to break some habits.” you said softly, looking up at him with a gentle gaze. “i’m not perfect, but—“ 
“i’m being ridiculous.” he interrupted, taking your hand in his. “i’m sorry, darling. i’m acting immaturely, i just felt…inadequate for a moment.”
“you don’t have to try and rationalize anything with me.” you assure him softly. “whether or not you stay or turn and walk away, the way i feel will never change. i want you — and only you.” 
but isn’t that the beautiful thing about baggage? you can learn to unpack it — together.
“you’re heavenly,” jonathan sighed, “i love you and your past, your flaws, all of it. you’re so perfectly…you.”
though you mentioned that he didn’t have to rationalize his actions with you — he was a psychiatrist, so naturally, he did. he knew he was being immature, letting your past bite him like that; it was silly. he knew he was lucky that you were so understanding. 
he pulled you into the bedroom, softly closing the door behind him. “i want to show you just how much i love you — worship you.” he whispered lowly. “lay back on the bed for me, beautiful.” 
you do as you’re told, scrambling to get onto the bed. “i’d do anything for you,” he breathed, “i hardly think i deserve someone as perfect as you, darling.” 
you let out a shaky breath as your boyfriend helped you out of your garment, his hands immediately going to paw at your breasts — since you didn’t wear a bra tonight with your dress. 
a soft moan left your mouth as your head dropped backwards. jonathan swore he saw stars at just the sounds of your pleasure. he attached his mouth to one of your nipples, running his tongue on the hard bud gently as his fingers tweaked the other one. 
“o-oh.” you breathed out, chest heaving as his tongue flicked over the sensitive bud. “jonathan…”
“mm.” he hummed softly, mouth still attached to your breast. you let a few more moans slip out, whispering his name softly as you felt yourself soak through your underwear. 
“perfect fucking tits,” he groaned, “i could do this all day long, darling.”
he moved over to your other breast, giving the other side the same treatment as you felt yourself dripping, cunt clenching around nothing. once he decided that he’d teased you enough, he finally started to undress, slowly undoing his belt buckle.
you were desperate at this point, your cunt needing to be filled and fucked by jonathan’s thick cock. he seemed to sense your neediness though (it’s not like you were being coy by any means), and he took his cock out. 
it sprung out against his stomach, the tip flushed pink and sticky with pre-cum. your mouth watered at the sight as your back arched slightly off the bed. you looked up at him with pleading eyes, and he looked back at you with the same intensity.
those impossibly blue eyes of his turned you to putty within seconds, melting in his grasp.
jonathan stroked his cock a few times before lining himself with your sticky folds, teasing you with the tip as you whined. before you had the chance to get mouthy with him though, he pushed himself into your sopping cunt, stretching you out deliciously. 
you let out a guttural moan, and once he had bottomed out inside your cunt, his hand snaked down to play with your clit. he started to rut his hips against yours quickly, brows furrowed in concentration as his dark hair was slightly tousled. 
“f-fuck! y-yes, jonathan—” you mewled, mouth hanging open as he plowed into your soaked cunt. 
“you’re so heavenly,” he breathed, thrusting faster, “fuck, so tight — i could watch you like this forever.” 
suddenly, he hoisted your leg over his shoulder, causing the wind to get knocked out of you as he fucked you harder than before. the new angle gave him access to the deepest parts of your dripping hole, and he watched you as your head fell back onto the pillows again.
jonathan could watch this play on a loop endlessly — the view of his perfect girl losing herself in the pleasure that he was bringing her. god, it was a dream come true, getting to have you all to himself. 
looks like a certain doctor managed to score big time, hm?
“i love this pretty pussy.” jonathan growled through gritted teeth. “all mine — m’so fucking lucky, fuuuck. love you.”
“m-mmhm! a-all yours,” you mindlessly babbled out, cunt clenching around jonathan’s length, “always.”
“that’s right angel, nobody can fuck you the way i do.” he said in a sultry tone, his fingers pressed up against your bundle of nerves as you approached your release quickly. “shit, keep clenching my cock like that—”
“y-yes!” you wailed, “i’m co–ming!”
jonathan moaned as he felt you cream his thick cock, watching your face scrunched in pleasure — there was something so beautiful about it. you, his darling girl, drenching him as he brought you to the highest peaks of pleasure. 
“gorgeous,” he groaned softly, “absolute fucking perfection — that’s, fuuuck, that’s what you are, my love. perfection.” 
the praise and compliments had you blushing, your cheeks heating up as he continued to ram into your hole mercilessly. sure, he was sweet during sex but he was basically worshiping you tonight in bed; not that you were complaining by any means, though.
“j-jon!” you squeaked out, getting overstimulated quickly as his hand continued to rub your clit. “i-i— ugh!”
“gon’ cum, fuck — gonna fill you up, my goddess.” he groaned, and you opened your eyes to look up at him in surprise as the words fell from his lips.
that was new. 
he rutted his hips into you a few more times harshly before he was slowing down, eventually coming to a stop as he buried his face into your neck. gently, you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close as hot ropes of cum painted your walls white. 
the two of you were silent for a moment, just basking in the silence peacefully. after a minute or two, jonathan pulled out, causing you to wince. 
“sorry, angel,” he whispered softly, “i know, baby. i know.” 
once his softening cock was out of you, he helped you get cleaned up as his cum started to seep from your spent hole. the aftercare with jonathan was always sweet — he was a loving man, truly. taking care of you every chance he got. 
“feeling extra affectionate today, hey?” you teased lightheartedly, making him smile softly at you as he wiped his cum up from around your thighs.
“just love you, s’all.” he said, pressing a soft kiss to your lips as he tossed the towel aside. 
“i love you too,” you assured him, “more than anything.” 
he came to lay down beside you in your shared bed, pulling you close as he placed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “i just can't believe you’re all mine,” he sighed, “m’blessed.” 
“so you’ve said,” you giggled.
“did you mean what you said earlier?”
“about what?”
jonathan looked over at you, his hand gently holding yours. his eyes were full of love, admiring your every feature as he smiled softly. “when you said your feelings would never change.” he clarified. “did you mean it?”
“yes,” you said without hesitation, “i want you — you and only you.” 
“...i got jealous, to be honest.” he confessed with a chuckle, shaking his head. “i know i have no reason to be, but i also know how badly other guys wish to call you theirs.” 
“i could tell, you weren’t exactly hiding it very well.” you told him, snuggling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, much tighter this time. he held onto you as if he was afraid to let go — as if you’d ever stray from him. “nothing will change the way i feel about you.” 
“good,” he said softly, “because no matter who you’ve dated, or who you have a past with, you’re mine now — and that’s all that’ll ever matter to me.” 
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aphroditesmoon · 9 months
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you go back to the old house, but you've been locked out
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jacaerys velaryon/strong x fem!reader (modern!au)
summary: when your boyfriend finds out that you have never celebrated christmas before, he invites you to have your first with his family.
warnings: *do not read if you have any of the triggers* artist!reader, poc coded reader, depictions of mental illnesses, domestic abuse, physical abuse, mentions of suicide attempts, mentions of ED, mostly fluff, NSFW (SMUT! MINORS DNI!!), blackcat!reader and goldenretriever!jace, only rhaenyra's children with harwin exists in this au, title and fic inspired by There must be more than blood by Car Seat Headrest.
wc: 17.4K
a/n: this is for my babies who think they're unlovable of some sort, you are not too much or not enough, and you are completely lovable and you will find the rght kind of love for you one day.
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When you first told Jacaerys that you have never actually celebrated Christmas before, you didn't think it would pull out such an intense reaction.
You've been dating him for about 4 months now, the two of you agreed to take things slow under your request, but by this point, you both have grown comfortable enough around each other to move forwards past the small talk stage.
And it is in these moments that you genuinely wonder if all the new small details and information about yourself that you had initially held from him before would cause any issues within the relationship. For example, the fact that you've never celebrated Christmas, or how you have an antipathy for your birthday and double dates. You also don't believe in celebrating annual anniversaries.
In the second month of your relationship with Jace, you discovered how important anniversaries were to him and it was an honestly amusing idea to you. But after you noticed how disappointed he was to find out that you didn't care for the special day, you decided to let his predilection for it prevail.
Plus it was just like having an extra special date every month that you didn't have to pay for, what's the harm in that?
Upon finding out that Christmas was a foreign concept to you, he asks you if it was a religion thing at first. You weren't particularly religious, nor are you against it in any way, then he asked you if it had anything to do with the whitewashing of Jesus Christ. You laughed until you realized he was serious.
"No, it's nothing to do with the whitewashing of Jesus of Nazareth." He raised a brow in suspicion. "Are you sure? Cause if it is then I fully support you." You smiled and him and shook your head in assurance. "I've just never celebrated it for some reason."
"But why?" He asked again, pushing for a good answer. Jace loved christmas, that one was easy to tell. You're just not sure if it's because he had strong family values and loved spending time with his family or because he really loved gifts and knew that he'd get good ones every year thanks to the fact that he is rich.
"My family never celebrated christmas, so I never did." You answered decisively. "Are they superstitious or something?" You replied no. "I guess my parents just didn't see what good it can do besides making a waste of money." Your financial situation was a touchy topic, you could see him leaving it at that, ending the interrogation. "So what'll you do on this 30th?" He asks instead.
"What I always do, stay at my apartment, maybe go on a shopping trip with all the Christmas discounts." His eyes widen in horror as if you've just told him that you had killed a man. "You're spending Christmas alone?" You could laugh at his worry if you didn't think that it would hurt his feelings. "Well, my roommate is flying back to her hometown."
"So, why don't you fly back home too? It's not just christmas, the semester break is over 2 weeks." You shrugged and went over some excuses in your head before settling for one. "Believe me, they'd rather I stay here and focus on my studies. There'd be no point anyway, since you know, I don't celebrate Christmas." His lips thinned as he analyzes you in the most obvious way possible, making you groan internally in your head.
Jace was a problem solver. You learned that very quick into your relationship.
He always tries to make the best out of every condition he's put into. And you can tell how much the idea of you being alone for two weeks bugged him. "Two weeks flies faster than you'll realize, I'm telling you Jace, I'm used to this." Oh that wouldn't cut it for him. "What if you came home with me?"
You blinked at him in confusion, his words registering very slowly. "No." You say the first thing you thought of.
His mouth makes an O shape in offense. "Why not?" You rolled your eyes. "You ask that question a lot." "If you answer me for real this time, I won't ask you that again for at least 5 days." You fought back a smile. "Fine. Because it's weird." He frowned. "No it's not, why would it be?"
"Because I've never met your family before, Jace." He shrugged in a careless manner. "Well, there's no time more perfect than Christmas."
Everything is so easy with you, you thought to yourself. Sometimes you wondered if he has ever been caught up in the anxiety of things possibly not going his way for at least once in his life. You weren't bitter, it's genuine curiosity. Jacaerys looked like the type of person who has never been afraid to take a chance with new and risky opportunities. One of them being you. He is either very lucky or very positive. Which in the case of him being incredibly privileged, both.
You took a deep breath before settling your back against the plush of the cushion of your hallway. He understood the indescribable look you gave him and leaned in to place his hands on your shoulder.
"My mom has wanted to see you for ages, there's nothing to be nervous about, I swear." You cocked your head at him. "You've already told your mom about me?" He grinned. "Yeah, she thinks you're pretty. "
Your eyes widened. "You showed her my picture?" He nodded. Oh well, this was inevitable, you told yourself. Really, can you even blame him? Every course of action he has taken so far has only proved himself to be as good as you figured he was from the moment you two met each other. Well at least his mom thinks I'm pretty.
It wasn't that you hated people or disliked socializing so much, moreso that it was just state of normalcy for you. You have friends of course, and you talk to other people, but up until you met Jace, all the other people in your life have always been viewed as a convenience. Association by luck and not exactly a friendship grounded by any sort of deep connection or intimacy.
You gave up trying to pursue or look for that kind of relationship a long time ago. And just when you expected it the least, Jacaerys came into your life and somehow managed to become an intregal part of it. 4 months later, you wonder if it's too early for you to confess that you're unable to really remember your life before him.
You let out a sigh, letting him pull you closer. "Is it not too fast? If this is because you don't like me staying alone, I swear I'm used to it." He didn't say anything at first and only embraced you with his chin resting over your head.
He was either thinking deeply about whatever you just said or he's waiting for you to give in. "2 weeks is a long time, I wouldn't even want to be around my family for 2 weeks." You say, trying to get him to relent.
"We leave on the second week of the break then. We could stay here for the first." It wasn't a bad suggestion, and you know it's not fair to him for you to be holding up all the cards. He deserves to have a say in certain things, and one week with his family sounded like a good compromise.
"I'll think about it." You told him at last. And by the look of his face, he knows he has won. He lowers his head down to kiss you, and you welcome it with ardor.
You first met Jacaerys 6 months ago at a frat party. Your project partner Cregan had invited you over, even knowing that oarties were never really your thing. But you were having a bad day and thought, why not?
On your way to the bathroom, you bumped into him. The two of you walked in opposite ways right onto each other. He apologized profusely and had taken your abrasive wave off hand as you made your way to the bathroom as a sign that you were offended. So he waited until you were done peeing so he could apologize again.
You were 5 drinks in dazed and confused, not exactly drunk but not really sober. You figured he probably wanted to hook up because who the hell apologizes this much for bumping into someone. So you glared at him and told him to fuck off.
You never saw him again for the rest of the party. But about 30 minutes later, you decided you were done with the badly remixed disco music and alcohol that tastes like fruit punch and wanted to return to your apartment. You weren't staying in dorms since you managed to rent a place nearby with another girl who was studying at the university too. And although it was much further from campus compared to the dorms, it was considered a walking distance.
How lucky you were that he ended up driving by the road you took walking home. You were prepared to flip him off when he turned his window down, asking if you needed a ride. But once you slowed down to actually look at him, you noticed a certain kind of sincerity in his eyes and gave in.
It wasn't often that you get to meet people who were kind for the sake of being kind. Most people are leeches. But not him.
Neither of you said anything throughout the whole ride except when you thanked him before getting off the car. You didn't think you'd ever see him again after that night. But like fated ropes intertwining, he was the first person you saw in your lecture the next day.
He waved at you from the back seat. You stared at him with squinting eyes to make sure it was the right person before you went back to ignoring him. He ended up moving his seat to the front more and more everytime the two of you had the class again, until 2 weeks in, he finally seated himself next to you. "Are you always this persistently annoying?" You had asked him then. "Only with the ones I like" It was stupid, and cliche and most disgustingly, cute.
And so with every encounter, you began to let your guard down and allow the relationship to naturally take it's own course. 2 months later, you officially started dating one of the most fawned over boys on campus.
Its 6.30am on a Sunday as you jog through the quiet streets behind your apartment building. You wiped the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand, the heat turning your face red. 30 minutes from now, the roads will begin to flood with people walking to work or going on their own daily run. You know this because you've lived here for 3 years now.
When you decided to study at King's Landing University knowing it'll cost an expensive 3 hour flight for every time you'd want to go back home, it was an obvious decision both to yourself and to your family that you weren't really planning on coming back at all.
For all of 3 years you've been studying here, you had only flown back twice. And neither of those times felt worth the money you paid them for.
If this house suffocates you so badly, we'll see how far you'll survive out there all alone. Your mother had said to you 3 days before you went to college for your first year.
You had proved her wrong with your resilience, but at what cost? Your younger sister doesn't remember how you look like, and your older brother still takes every opportunity presented to him to try and belittle you every time the two of you meet.
Your father was ignorant, uncaring. And your mother? She loves you so much, with every bitter insult she throws your way and every provocation she purposely does just to get a reaction.
When you were 13 years old, she had told you to swing yourself off the highest building in response to you accidentally breaking her favourite plate. And at 16, she found herself crying by your bedside after your failed overdose attempt. At 18, she had spat on your face and announced that for as long as she lived, you would never know a life free of guilt and pain without her blessing as a mother.
At 19, The two of you hugged each other for the last time forever before you decided to never look back at that old haunted house.
You slowed down the pace of your jog, interchanging it with casual walking as you take in the sight of the rising sun. How many times have you walked these dewy streets that smelled like trees and dried rain? Too many to count. And yet, as much as you had tried to make a home out of this place, the isolating feeling that surrounded you daily was persistent.
It was the tiny voice in the back of your head saying, don't forget, these people aren't your people, and the face you put on every day that you're here isn't your own.
Loneliness was a kind of misery, but the hollow reassurance and comfort that came with proving yourself right every time a friend leaves you, or a man you thought was interested in you doesn't stay for the night, seemed to be the only constant thing in your life. That was until you met Jacaerys, of course.
You pause the music being played through your earphones, stretching your neck right after and deciding that you're ready to go home.
The flight to Dragonstone was in 3 days and you haven't really began packing. How much stuff did you need for a one week trip anyways? It was one of those moments that made you too anxious to do anything which ends up making you feel even more anxious because you haven't done anything. You do a turnaround and start walking back to your place as you reshuffle your morning playlist. A text from Jace pops up as your phone dings;
J: want 2 get breakfast in 20?
You swiped your phone open as you keep walking on a medium pace, replying with a quick OK.
It was a routine the two of you have build for over 2 months now, you'll do your 40 minutes morning jog and he'll be outside your building just in time for you to be done with your shower, eager to get some breakfast.
You're grateful for his company, it had become something you looked forward for daily. And for someone who has went through a fair share of disappointments, you really hope that this one would work out.
Anxiety plagued your thoughts as you rethink the idea of meeting his family for Christmas, what if they all thought you looked different than your photos? What if you say the wrong things or make the wrong joke and they think you're indecent? What if you say nothing and they all think you're boring?
The walk back home tired you enough to forget about those questions momentarily, but being given enough time to overthink once you reached your apartment and jumped into the shower, you figured you'd talk this out with Jace later.
He would probably just end up saying something sweet and useless like 'don't worry, just be yourself', but it's better than nothing.
The mirror becomes your worst enemy this morning, Fill in The Blank is playing from your phone as you stare at your dead eyes and immortalized eyebags. The only thing staring back at you is a reflection of a tired child. To grow up in a constant state of pain and to still be scared and hurting even after the war has ended was an everyday battle.
Because in your head, and even when you're sleeping, the war replays itself until you're worn out from it. You constantly remind yourself that you are now free, but sometimes the memory of it feels so alive that you end up making a prison of yourself despite the falseness of the alarm going off in your head.
Slipping a black t-shirt over your head while you make an estimation of how long it would take Jace to get here, you also let your mind stray for a bit, wondering if it all would've been easier if you were someone else. If Jace had dated someone else.
Maybe, maybe not. It didn't matter, because in the end you were still you, and you've only got yourself to work with.
You were drying your hair when you received another text from Jace saying taht he had arrived. Turning off the hair dryer, you sent a quick text back telling him that you were still getting ready and that the extra key was under the mat outside your door.
You could hear the front door click open 5 minutes later as you're finally done getting ready.
Exiting your room, you found him waiting by the kitchen, helping himself on some oreos that you just bought yesterday.
"I hope you're planning on paying me back for those cookies." You joked from the hall as you pulled out your hoodie from the coat hanger, slinging it over your shoulder. "I'll be paying you with my wonderful presence." He retorted back.
Once you found your purse, the two of you finally left the house to get some real food. After a few rounds of suggestions, you opted for a nearby cafe for some pancakes, though Jace ended up ordering some waffles instead.
The whole place was very secluded and smaller compared to the other cafes and diners in the area, but the meals were good and they were cheaper than the others too. You felt beyond lucky when you realized that it was just you both there in this hour. There were two other girls seated from the opposite of your table, but it was quiet enough to your liking.
"Are you done packing?" Jace asked expectedly. He was increasingly thrilled at the prospect of celebrating Christmas together with his family and his girlfriend. You shook your head no whilst you slurp up your strawberry milkshake.
"I'll start packing this evening." "Don't forget to bring a charger, and socks, because it'll probably be cold by the time we get there- oh, also you need a winter coat, and no slippers, only boots, do you want me to make you a list?" You smiled at him in amusement and answered no.
"I already made a list, I know what to bring, don't worry." He was worried, or maybe that's not the right word. No, he was excitable. "What about your parents?" He asks suddenly, causing you to pause in surprise. "What about my parents?"
He shrugged and inched closer to the table. "Have you told them you're coming with me for the semester break?" You relaxed your face, shrugging off the shocked expression you initially wore. "I don't think it's necessary, even if I wasn't going with you, I still wouldn't be going home either."
"Oh, okay." The silence was ineffable. You could hear a silent question that he didn't dare ask; why?
Your family was a rarely spoken topic in your relationship with him. It was easy to not overthink it at first, but you knew that Jace had noticed how you try your best to never bring them up.
"Plus-" you felt the necessity to add, "-they would probably be against the idea if I did tell them about it." He shares a look of curiosity, expecting you to elaborate. "My parents are kind of a strict." You chose to say. "So, they don't know that we're dating?" You shook your head. "They sound protective of you." He says it so confidently that it made you laugh dryly.
A bitter smile was painted over your face as you kept your eyes on the food. "Controlling, would be a more fitting term."
When you finally looked up to meet his gaze, you could tell there was more he wanted to ask, or comment on, but you weren't in the mood to start explaining your lore to him. Thinking about your family made you nauseous, and you really wanted to eat the pancakes without throwing up. "Believe me, its better this way." You concluded, making sure he won't have room to continue.
"Anyways, aren't you the one who should be briefing me about your family." Jacaerys grinned and seemingly forgot about your earlier conversation immediately. "There's not really much to say, you know my brothers Luc and Joffrey? They're pretty young, little rascals but harmless most of the time." You nodded earnestly, encouraging him to go on.
"My mom and dad are excited to meet you, you have nothing to worry about, I'm honestly more scared that they'll end up preferring you than me."
You snorted at that. "Ah yes, I do have a reputation with old people. Do you think it's my beautiful face?" He pretends to think for a moment before responding, "Well it can't be your charming personality." A laugh burst out of you at his words, causing you to receive a glare from the girls from the other table. You gasped out suddenly, remembering a small detail you've never discussed before. "I should bring gifts right?" A look of realization passes over Jace's face at the same time.
"I mean it's Christmas, I've never done it before, but I know presents are a thing."
Jace was quick to interject, telling you it's no need. "They wouldn't care, our tradition is all about spending time together, presents are just courtesy." He explained.
"Yes well, I should get them gifts as a courtesy then." He opens his mouth to argue but you shut him down immediately before he could. "I won't get anything crazy, it's just courtesy like you said." A lot of people might perceive you as nonchalant and uncaring, but the truth was you've always been the person who cares too much until it backfires.And as much as you wished you weren't so desperate to make a good first impression, you do want to, deep in your heart you knew that.
"Okay, fine, if you want to. But you can just get them some keychain or mugs, especially for my brothers, they're already being spoiled enough." You smile gratefully for his cooperation and agree on his terms.
One of your favorite terms in the world is the term "white lie." Any lie is excusable if you call it a white lie. It was a form of manipulation that you were used to being given. At first, you implemented it in your life as a way to please other people. A way to become more likeable and less of a burden.
You spent your whole teenage life trying to earn bits and pieces of your mother's love.
No, I'm not mad that you didn't get it for me and only bought one for my brother. Yes, it is my fault that I'm too sensitive and defensive every time we argue. No, I can't remember the last time you ever hit me. Not even the one time from last week when you pulled me by my hair, dragging me to the bathroom and used the water hose on me.
The truth soon became the most dangerous thing in your life. Candor wasn't appreciated in your home. You must watch your mouth and accept what you are given gratefully.
The cycle lasted for years until you turned 16. You had grown strong enough to push her back every time she tried to land a hit on you. Strong enough to know what to say to make it hurt for her too.
The white lies soon turned into a form of protection. No, I wasn't smoking weed under the bleachers after school hours just because it felt safer there than it does in my room. No, I don't know why I'm being written down for failing several subjects consecutively for the whole year, I thought I was doing just fine. No, I know you're doing all of this because you love me.
No, I don't think I can book a flight home for 5 days. I just got a new job, there's too much shit to do.
You stare down at your phone, the unread text stared back at your face.
M: I don't blame you for not wanting to come home, but if you want to, you can.
The only message you've gotten for her for the whole year. Her ego wouldn't force her to plead for her only daughter to come back. So she plays saint and paints you as the girl who grew up too fast and forgot all about home.
I love you, mom. You wanted to say. Love wouldn't be enough.
When was the last time she ever said that she loved you? You can never recall. It definitely wasn't the day before you went to college. No, the night before was spent holding you from behind as the two of you slept in your childhood bed. She had her face in the crook of your neck and you heard her whisper when she thought you were asleep; you were my mirror, and I'm sorry I broke you into pieces just so it'd match my cracks.
She laid with you for a few more minutes before getting up to leave. You cried until dawn and never got a wink of sleep right after.
You expected the newfound freedom to feel exhilarating, but instead, you felt more out of place during the first week at the university than you did at home. It was comical, ironic, how the only pair of hands you wanted to comfort you were the same ones that had beaten bruises on your skin. I miss you, you almost texted her.
Was it still considered a white lie or a form of manipulation if the only person you wanted to trick was yourself? No, I'm not upset that she never called or texted to ask if I've safely landed. No, I never wonder if she regrets everything she's done to me. No, I don't hate her so much sometimes that it could be translated as a child throwing a tantrum just to get their parents to pay attention to her. No, I don't like having one night stands just to know what it's like to be touched without being inflicted with pain.
No, I never wake up from dreams of you loving me the same way you loved your son and consider it a nightmare instead.
But of all times you've dreamt of her, this time you woke up from it with the only person you wanted comfort from, still sleeping next to you. And for the first time since you could remember, it was not your mother.
Your eyes remained on your phone screen, hung up on every word of the message. Glancing once at your boyfriend, you turn back to your phone to switch it off before you move to lay back under the covers.
---
It was 8 days before Christmas. Watching snow fall from the sky was somehow more magical than getting to sit on a first class plane for the first time
You tried to take pictures from above, but the snow didn't look as clear and visible through the phone as it did from your eyes.
You're hands are fully gloved, with your little bunny designed ear muffs that Jace bought for you a few days ago.
"I feel like that thing from Big Hero 6." You told him before leaving. "His name is Baymax, put some respect on it." Was his response before he pinched your cheeks with both hands.
4 hours later, the two of you are strapped in comfortable seats, the cold getting stronger, and you're both grateful for the winter jackets you had on.
"It's so beautiful." You spoke, looking out from the small window. "Yeah, beautiful." When you twisted your neck to look at him, he was already staring at you. "What?" You asked. He shrugged, face blank. "Nothing."
Neither of you broke eye contact. Your frown deepens as you try to figure out what has trying to tell you. He blinked. You were gonna ask what again until it hit you. "Jace, no."
"I didn't even say anything." He whined, defending himself. "We're not having sex on a plane." "See, I didn't even have to say it, you were just thinking the same thing." You fought the urge to roll your eyes, cocking your head to the side, baffled at his suggestion.
"Do you know how many germs there are on this plane?" He shrugged again. "It's first class." You throw your hands up in frustration. "It's times like these that I remember you're a jock." He should've been offended, but he was still confused about what you mean.
"This place is full of germs, it's not even advisable to wash your face or do skin care on a plane because that's how dirty the air is." You patiently explained, watching him get more confused. "But we're not doing skincare, we're doing each other." You turned away, groaning loudly with your eyes closed.
"You're so boring." He complained like a child. "I'm also gonna snitch on your mom if you don't get your shit together." He snorted at that, pulling out his headphones out of his small slingbag. "She won't believe you, I'm her baby." "Yeah, you are a baby."
His head snapped at you immediately, before he could come up with a smart response that probably would have to do something to do with his penis, You pushed his head back to the other side, patting his cheeks like you would a toddler and quickly put on your headphones.
He turned around again and said something, but at that point you already turned up the volume. "Sorry, I can't hear you baby." He stuck his tongue out in annoyance. You thought you heard him mutter 'baymax looking ass' but didn't react as you didn't want him to think he won.
The flight was 2 and a half hours long. You were sure you could stay awake for that amount of time, but once the flight attendant brought out the heated blanket, the both of you were down in 5 minutes.
The pilot said something through the comm that you were too sleepy to hear once the plane had finally reached the destination. You wiped your eyes with the back of your fists groggily and began shaking Jace to wake up while yawning.
The first nudge did nothing, you started tapping him on the shoulder, which by the 6th tap, you finally got a response; "5 more minutes please."
Only when you leaned closer into his ears and blew air into it does he jolt up, eyes wincing. "That tickles." He murmured, wiping his hand over his tired face. "We're about to land." You informed him, taking your headphones off and passing it to him to keep in his bag. "Okay."
You were honestly eager to get your cramped ass out of the plane, but as you refresh yourself with bottled water, the realization dawned upon you. His mother, or father, would be waiting at the airport.
The comm dinged again as the pilot announced landing. The flight attendants were all quick to get to their seat once a loud zooming noise startled everyone. "There we go." You mumbled under your breath.
He helped you up once you were able to take the seat belt off. Jace slings his bag over his shoulder and uses his right hand to carry your extra duffle bag, his left hand intertwined with yours, helping you descend down the stairs before him.
"Let me hold it." You offered, but he shook his head no. "If my mom or dad saw me making you carry anything they'll strangle me." He sounded serious so you let him penguin walk with your hands still holding his, making your way over the baggage section.
"Are you excited." He asks, wiggling his eyebrows at you. "Over the moon." You answered with a tight smile. If he noticed the sarcasm, he didn't comment on it. "Good, I promise this will be your best Christmas yet." He sounded so convincing that it made you smile against your will.
"It's literally my first Christmas, so I don't think there'll be any competition yet, Jace." "Exactly." You laughed quietly, letting him take the lead as you walked through the crowded space of the airport. Once you got on the elevator, you were going to ask him if he could see his parents from here, but he cut you to it by shouting loudly and waving both your hands up in the air. "We're here!"
Jesus fuck, you thought. If you were anywhere else, you would've immediately pulled his arm down, what with everyone around you glaring at him. But his parents were watching, and you saw his parents wave back excitedly, thankfully neither were yelling back.
The first observation you make as you begin to near them was how much he looked like his father. His mother looked exquisitely different than him. She was beautiful, with platinum blonde hair tied in a bun, her eyes smiled every time her lips did. You found yourself with a small smile, beaming at their joy as his mother started walking towards you both. I don't think I've ever seen anyone's parents this happy to have their child back home.
"Finally." You hear his mother sigh out as she pulls Jacaerys in a hug. She was quick to pull away so she could get a good look at his face. "Look at you, exactly the same." He rolls his eyes. "It's been like 6 months." She ignored his wit and pushed him aside to take you in. You didn't have the time to extend a hand as she pulls you in an embrace too. You yelped at first but hugged her back easily and smiled at her.
"So this is the sweetheart Jace has been keeping from me?" She joked, holding the side of your face with her palms. "I think I should be the one saying that." You didn't know why you said that, but it made her laugh heartily, only after you said it did you realize that it sounded like you were flirting with your boyfriend's mom.
From the corner of your eyes you could see Jace walking over to you with his father. "Have you eaten yet? You must be famished."
L That's another thing you noticed about his family. They use words like famished. The way his mother spoke sounded regal, you could even say royalty.
"Oh it's fine, I've already had some cheesecake on the plane." Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, seeing that her frown deepens. "Oh, that's barely lunch, and it's almost tea time too."
You thought tea time was a myth honestly, something British people made up to sound funny, like the monarchy. As far as you can remember, you grew up only eating one full meal a day at home. Your mother would buy you nothing else and asked if you were really that hungry, you'd assert another white lie and tell her that you really can't eat too much anyways and that your appetite is small.
As you grew older, your appetite did grow smaller, but it ended up making you feel guilty every time you wanted to eat more than once a day, as you would feel like you don't deserve it.
"It's fine, we've cooked up a nice meal back home, once you get yourself cleaned up, we can all eat together." She was incredibly soft spoken, and she looked at you in a very motherly manner. Your thank you was cut off as you hear her husband called out. "Rhaenyra-'' he appears by her side, smiling widely at you, his features remarkably similar to his son. "There you are, the prettiest girl he's ever seen, eh?" He winked at Jace, making him stutter, turning red. "Dad please-" He ignores him just like Rhaenyra did before.
"Well how do you do?" You shook hands with his father, introducing yourself. At least this time you didn't say anything that sounds like you're trying to seduce Jace's father.
Once the formalities was over, his father helped pick up the baggage that finally arrived, they have a large range rover, more than enough to fit 2 weeks worth of clothes. Jace was going to sit in the back with you, but his mother wacked him in the head and told him to sit up front. "You can't bring your girlfriend over and then hoggle her for yourself." She warned him as climbed up the back seat after you.
You're not sure if the reason you're absolutely terrified to look at Rhaenyra was because she doesn't look like a mother of 3 or because you wanted to impress her. But you tried your best to appear calm as her husband started driving. “Have you eaten anything yet sweetheart?” He asks from the front, equally as sweet as his wife.
“Uh, I had a cheesecake-” “Oh a cheesecake? For the whole day? That's not good, Jace, why didn't you buy her anything.” He scolded his son.
“She didn't want anything else-” “That can't be true, you little pig, you can't eat so much and then starve your girlfriend!”
“I'm really fine.” Your assurance wasn't acknowledged as his mother joined in. “That's right, you're lucky we cooked something up.” “She had a cheesecake-” Jace attempts to defend himself, which only made his father snort. “You know how plane foods are, they’re tiny!” You nodded in agreement, quietly whispering, “Yeah they are.” Which earned you a glare from Jace. He did try to get you to eat more, but like he said, you weren't interested. “Already teaming up against me.” He mumbled in annoyance.
The whole car ride home was peaceful. They continued to make small talk with you, asking if you've ever went skiing before, apparently it's something they did every Christmas. “Don't worry, it's quite easy, Jace could teach you when we go together.” Rhaenyra said to you later.
“Does your parents know you're here? We don't want to steal you away from them for your sem break.” Rhaenyra asked apologetically. Why did everyone care so much about whether your parents knew or not? “Oh yeah, they don't mind.” The lie came on so naturally that you forgotten about Jace being told the opposite. He snuck a glance at you but it was too quick that you didn't manage to catch his reaction. ”Good, good.” Rhaenyra concluded, relieved to hear it.
The car pulls up into a guarded neighborhood. You weren't surprised to see that most of the houses inside are mansions, perfected with their own large car porches and a garden. And you weren't surprised to see the house they finally reached in the end was as equally large as the others. The outside walls were gray and cream coloured, you could seentwo different entrances from the side and from the front by the porch.
“Home sweet home.” Jace spoke from his seat. If your house looked like that than it'd be a sweet home too.
—-
It wasn't a bad dream that jolted you awake tonight. But rather the jarring change of surrounding that you weren't used to. Jace lays on his side, an arm lazily hung over your waist. It was his snoring that pulled you out if your confusion. The white and large curtains covering the see through doors of the balcony looked unfamiliar because they aren't yours, they're Jace's.
And the reason why the floor felt so cold once you placed both your feet on the ground after you've gently push his hands off to climb off the bed was because it's made of marble, not concrete like you were used to.
Slipping into the bathroom quietly and turning on the sink tap, the brutal coldness of the water made you wince. You let your fingers familiarize with the feeling before wiping it over your dull face.
It was 2am, the clock hung on the walls of the dimly lit room read. A dreaded and fatigued part of you wanted to get back to bed, but there was a restlessness growing inside of your bones. Today is the third day that you've been here, 6 days until Christmas. You had spent the past few days helping Rhaenyra bake gingerbread cookies and joined in snowball fights with Jace and his siblings.
Your boyfriend definitely had more fun than his younger brothers. How fun it was to be able to chuck 7 snowballs in a row at his girlfriend's face before she starts chasing him into the snowflake covered woods threatening to dropkick him.
You thought things have been going pretty well so far. At first you had worried that your quiet personality would somehow make things awkward, but you seemed to have fit in rather easily with them.
You weren't shy or anything, just more reserved than most. And not that you'd ever tell Jace to his face, but Joffrey probably was your favourite. He was the youngest and the cutest. At first he had completely ignored you on the first night that you arrived, but the next day during breakfast he showingly changed his mind for his dislike or indifference for you by making Jace switch places with him to sit by your left.
It was announced on that very same day that you are to be his favourite person in that house too.
The door made a small creaking noise as you opened it to leave. Walking down the dark corridor that led downstairs, you walked yourself to the kitchen, looking for something to drink. Help yourself to the fridge, Rhaenyra had told you 2 days ago. Well, don't mind if I do.
The fridge light shone over your face like the glow of heaven as you bend down to see your choices. They had cranberry juice, which wasn't exactly your favourite, but it was better than orange juice which was another thing they had. There's bar of chocolate you're tempted to steal, but you have a feeling it's not yours to take.
Just as your hand extends to grab at the cranberry juice, the kitchen lights flicker open, making you flinch so hard that you accidentally banged your head on the upper part of the fridge. "Ow."
"Oh it's just you." Rhaenyra's voice laughed out. Pulling your head out like a snack thief, you smiled sheepishly at her.
"Sorry, was gonna grab a drink." She shook her head and head over to the kitchen sink, washing her hands. "It's fine, I thought you were Joffrey, he likes to steal his brother's chocolate bars." Well that's something the two of you have in common.
"What are you drinking?" She asks turning to look at you. "Just cranberry juice." She hummed in disagreement, shaking her head. "In this cold season? Take a seat, I'll make some tea." You have never jumped so quickly to interject anyone. "Oh no, It's fine! Really, it's 2am, I should probably get back to sleep anyways.".
She seems to take light of your argument, already pulling out a teapot and a small Camomile teabag. "Oh it's no bother, if you weren't craving anything then you wouldn't be awake rummaging through the fridge anyways." You stood awkwardly by the closed fridge watching her add hot water into the pot. "Fetch me the sugar will you?" You moved quickly to pull out the tub of sugar from one of the kitchen cabinets, passing it to her.
"So, what's keeping you up at night?" You shrugged lightly, leaning against the kitchen counter as you didn't want to sit and wait at the table like a brat. "Nothing really, I'm insomniac, so..." Her eyes widened momentarily. "Oh really?" You nodded.
"Mmhm, I take medication for it, but sometimes it doesn't work." She reacts with a string of Ooohs, stirring inside the pot with a long spoon.
"Melatonin?" You nodded again. That, and some anti psychotics.
Once she's finally done with the tea, you sat by her as she poured it into two mugs for the both of you. It was odd that she was up for small talk this late in the night, but you enjoyed conversing with her. "You know I don't think I've ever asked you what major you are, and that silly boy has never told me." "I'm an art major." You answered. She smiled so dotingly at the response, sincerely intrigued. "An art major? You can draw then?" You hummed positively. "Draw, paint a little."
She sips her hot tea patiently. "I'm a fan of art myself, have you heard of Egon Schiele?" You laughed breathily. "Of course, who doesn't?" Rhaenyra tipped her head to the side in a small nod of agreement. "I have some of his paintings on my office, his works had been a favourite. Quite an expressive man isn't he?" You considered the man's work with his personal life. "Not exactly a role model but yeah, he is."
Your tea is finished, but you remain unmoved on the chair, waiting for her to continue. "You know I believe that the arts is the heart of humanity. Some people might not agree, people who can't see beyond the techniques and brush strokes, but art is what happen when you try to make beauty out of pain, isn't it? I mean as stereotypical as it sounds."
Your eyes were no longer droopy from sleepiness, they match the pure intensity Rhaenyra's had. "It is. Without art, and I don't mean just paintings- I mean poetry and literature and theatre, pain would just be pain. Meaningless." "Exactly."
You don't know what the silent words being exchanged through your gazes actually meant, but something did cross between the two of you, an understanding of a sort, an alliance in beliefs.
"I also believe that those who dabble in art, in any mediums, are the ones who love the strongest and lose the hardest." An unintentional smile bloomed over your face. "Tell me about it." Rhaenyra laughs lightly. "Have you always dabbled in art?" She questioned.
You relive blurry memories of badly drawn trees and stick humans done when you were a child. "Sure, yeah. I've always liked it. I mean it's not just this magical talent I have or anything, as much as the arts is viewed in a much bigger scale of its effects to society as a whole, it's could also be deemed important in indivual intepretation."
Rhaenyra leans back against her chair, hands placed on her lap politely. "Like for example- art is intimate because it is yours.
- It doesn't have to have a deeper meaning all the time and neither does it have to emotionally strike you for it to be considered art. To love, some people say, is to be understood. But we can never truly understand anyone, no matter how hard we think we can.
-And so I think that art, just like people, can be loved even without context. Whatever feeling it sparks inside of you, it is intimate because it is complicated, and it is intimate because it can mean a hundred different things to a hundred different people."
Her expression was unreadable. You wondered if you have confused or overwhelmed her. But after a few minutes of silence, she asked; "And what about people?" "What about it?"
"You compared it to art, and you said art needn't be understood to be loved, does the same goes for people?" You clasped your cold hands on the warm mug and pursed your lips together, your thoughts racing each other.
"Yeah, it does. I mean I use to think that being with a person who understood you was the most important thing in the world, and though it does feel good to finally be seen by someone else, like I said before, it is nearly impossible to be truly understood. And so, the second best thing would be to be loved despite not being understood. To have someone who believes in you, even if they're not sure about the situation or the facts or your rationality, that is love. To be believed in."
"Faith?" Rhaenyra suggests. "Yes, faith."
You stood up right after, taking her empty cup to wash for too despite her complaints, hand washing them as you're not sure how to use a dishwasher. "I'm glad you're here." Rhaenyra spoke from behind you. It wasn’t the validation that had struck you so deeply in the chest, nor was it her appreciation for you, instead, ot was her acceptance. "I'm glad I'm here too."
In this small moment between 2 to 3am on a Thursday at your boyfriend's kitchen, you wonder if you've found the right kind of people to call home.
"Thanks for the tea, I hope I didn't keep you up." You thanked her in a hushed voice, genuinely grateful. She returned your smile and squeezed your shoulder softly. "You did no such thing, now go get some sleep, alright?"
When you returned to Jace's room, you find him sitting up on the bed in the dark. You closed the door behind you slowly and tiptoed towards him.
"Where'd you go?" He asks sleepily, pulling you close to his chest as he moves to lie back down. "Went to get a drink." You whispered back. "For 20 minutes?" You snorted and lifted your head up to kiss him on the cheek before placing your head back under his chin. "Your mother couldn't sleep either, she made tea."
Jace accepted the response, asking no more questions. His arms wrap around your body the way a ship holds on to an anchor. You didn't know how much you needed someone to need you until you met him.
You notice that he's still awake, with the way his finger is lightly tapping the skin of your shoulder. "Did I wake you up? Sorry." You feel him shaking his head slightly. "No, I was just thinking." He mumbled back. "About?" You inquired him.
"You, I miss you." You frowned and pulled back to look at him. "I'm right here." He shrugged. "I know, but sometimes you're not. Sometimes you're here but when I look at you, you're gone. And I don't know how to bring you back." You feel a splinter in your heart when he said that. How foolish you are to expect him to be so stupid to never notice how unstable you can be at times, how easily you dissociate and push him away before pulling him right back.
"I'm sorry." You told him sincerely, not sure what else there is that could be said.
"I'm not angry, or upset. I just want you to know that Im right here with you too, and I'm not going anywhere." You smiled sadly at him and nodded. "I know." Your noses booped together and he returns your small smile. "Anything you need me for, I'm here." Jacaerys assures you, half yawning. "I just need you to trust me, and I'll trust you. Can you do that for me?" He stared silently for a moment and then nodded once. "Okay, I trust you. But you have to honor your end."
You pecked his lips with one hand caressing his cheek. "I trust you." You promised.
It was 3 days before Christmas. You've spent the past week skiing and building a snowman with the kids. These past few days have been so suspiciously peaceful that it's terrifying.
You're on edge, despite the happiness this family has brought you. You like to tell yourself that you're just being careful, but the truth is that sometimes you can't tell the difference between a house fire and a small candle.
You had texted your mother 2 days ago, confessing to her that you've been spending this week with your boyfriend's family. You made sure to keep your lie about your job going, stating that this visit was a last minute kind of thing. She never answered.
She shouldn't be bothered, you soothed yourself. She never cared if you ever actually came home or not, why should this be an exception?
You and Jacaerys have spent the day going from shop to shop, eyeing beautiful Christmas lights and discounts available. You started with a bakery in the morning, Rhaenyra's suggestion. You had gotten free tastings on many of the popular cake choices before Jace finally settled on buying his mother's favourite Lemon cake.
He had urged you to pick something for yourself and you landed on some éclairs, finishing them up on the car ride to the antique gift shop a few blocks further.
The store had a giant nutcracker statue staring out from inside the windows, they reminded you of the old Christmas movies you spent watching as a child. The bell on the door jiggled loudly as you entered after Jace, a longing gaze towards the nutcracker, hints of nostalgia filling up your heart.
An elderly lady guarded the counter with a smile. "Looking for anything in particular?" She asks. Jace shook his head and smiled back. "Just looking around." He soon found himself crouching down at the snow globe sections, pulling a few out of the shelves to eye the intricate details.
You had walked to the candle shelves, admiring the colourful choices. There was another nostalgic thing on candles too. A superstitious kind. The way you used to blow on them for every birthday or random nights you remembered to lit up your rose scented candles that stays on your bedside, wishing on them like you do on a shooting star.
Asking for some kind of mercy from whichever god there was looking down at you. But in the end you had to pull yourself up without any kind of divine intervention. You had learned that there was only one god inside of you, and she was a girl fed on rage and grievance who spent her nights weeping in her empty altar.
The girl was still there, quieter now, but unflickering, unlike a candle.
You eye the red coloured candle gently, sniffing on the wax to identify the scent. Rose. You place it back on the shelf and move on to the cutlery sets.
You loved cutlery, plates and mugs. Maybe it's the 20s getting to you, but some days you feel that the house decoration section of IKEA was better than any night club you've been in. A beautiful chipped cup stared at you from the lower shelves. It was beautiful, purple flowers drawn on the curves and long thing green ropes on the holder.
You were pulling it out to look inside when your phone suddenly dinged multiple times, buzzing in the pocket of your pants. Clumsily, you pushed the cup back in and took your phone out whilst still crouching.
M: Is this some sort of tantrum you're throwing?
the first notification read, making you frown. You don't have the strength to swipe open the screen to read the full sentence, only reading what's shown on your lockscreen. Just before you could click it off after pressing mute, another notification enters, the words too bright, reading themselves aloud to you.
M: you're selfish, do you ever think about anyone else but yourself? It's always how you feel because only yo-
the full message was cut off as another notification enters. Irritation filled you the same time that your eyes pricked with angry tears. You blinked a few times to get rid of it as you shove your muted phone back in your pants.
I can't fucking deal with this right now. You told yourself. Your phone buzzed again, making you harshly take it back out to turn off the vibration.
It always has t be a problem with her. Selfish she called you? On the one time you decided to do something fo yourself?
Pulling yourself up to stand your kneed are met with the cup that's still half out from it's shelf, shoving it behind strongly, a small crash sound turned your whole body into stone.
You bend back down immediately, pulling out the chipped mug and the small broken pieces of it's corners. You could hear the owner getting up. Shit shit shit. "What was that sweetie?"
You turned to her with a saddened expression. "I'm so sorry, I'll pay for it-" the woman's eyes moved from your face to the glass pieces and gasped. "Oh my, wait here- I'll get the broom." As soon as she disappeared to the store room, Jacaerys was by your side in the next second. "What happened?" He bends down.
"It was an accident, I smashed it with my knee." Your voice was shaky and you feel your fingers prick as you try to sweep the pieces onto your left palm before the lady returned. "Baby, put it back, she's bringing the broom." He warned you. You shook your head lightly and kept picking up the tiny sharp ones. "It's fine, I got it-" Jace grabbed your hand and turned it upside down so they fall back on the ground.
"Jace what the fuck is wrong with you." You snapped, pulling your hand back. Your voice was high, close to yelling. "Your hand is fucking bleeding, there's literal cuts." He argued back, trying and failing to grab at your wounded hand.
The store room door opened loudly, the both of you turned to see the lady walking over quickly with a small broom. "Move aside you two." She ordered calmly.
"I can do it for you, it was my fault." You offered her, ignoring how Jace is trying to pull you back. "Oh no, it's fine sweetie, it happens all the time." You opened your mouth to ask again, desperate to try and fix the mess you made, but you could feel Jace's grip on your arm tightening and stayed silent.
"I didn't mean to." You whispered. His grip loosens, his hand moved from your arm to your shoulder. "It's fine, I'll pay for it." He immediately widened his eyes to warn you to keep quiet, knowing you'd argue against it. "Let me pay for it now, we'll discuss this later." He muttered closely to you. Your lips pursed together, not wanting to say or do anything you can't take back, you shush up.
There is large wave of emotion building up inside of you. It was overwhelming because it's not just one emotion. As the anger dissolves into pathetic guilt, you bite your lip from bursting out crying. Blinking fastly for a few more times, you managed to keep your breakdown from blowing up.
Standing by the door like a rock, you watch as Jace pulls out his purse to pay for the damage. You can see the lady shaking her head, denying his money. "It's old, not worth anything." You hear her say to him.
He ended up buying a tint snow globe and aa keychain anyways, to make up for the broken cup. She seemed to hold no grudge in her expression, smiling at the two of you and saving as you left.
Neither of you said anything on the walk to the car. Once you got in and strapped on the seatbelt, you twisted your face to him to see if he was upset and noticed that he was frowning. He hands you the small plastic gift, looking straight up front. A small sigh leaves him after he turns up the AC. the car engine noise filling up the tension between you.
"It was an accident." You repeated. He finally turns to you, with a look much worse than rage. Disappointment, pity. "I know." He responds softly. "I was just trying to clean it up, I felt bad." He nodded quietly, slowly averting his gaze to the steering wheel.
More silence filled the gap. When he finally steps on the pedal to reverse out of the parking, you turned away to look out the window in resolve. Nothing was said throughout the whole ride home.
Rhaenyra was excited to have you both home by evening. Her husband was quickly chastised for taking the first bite off of her cake. The sight was both amusing and endearing. You would've smiled in another scenario.
Jace talked and moved like nothing happened, offering for you to take a shower first before him, helping his mother with the dishes as the children are scolded for running around the kitchen. "Go to your room." Jace forced them with a kind of authority that you rarely see in him.
You watch the kids run up pass you, saying hi to you before they disappeared to their rooms.
Going for a shower yourself, you found solace in the privacy that his bathroom gave you. Letting the hot water run down your body along with your tears, you couldn't tell the difference between whicb and which.
Your face and eyes was red by the time you were done, the hot water obviously helped with that. But the warmth after cold skin biting walks was calming, even with the overthinking that came with today's events, the shower helped to bring down the temperature of your emotions.
Washing your face with cold water from the sink next, you avoid looking in the mirror. Shame erupted inside your chest, like a child scorned and embarrassed by their own behaviour.
You could hear Jace walk in the room from the bathroom. The door makes a sound as it's shut close. Letting your hair down for the first time today, you combed the wild strands with your fingers, lightly massaging your head as you brave yourself to face him again.
You didn't do anything wrong, why are you so scared?
You push the door open and dry your feet on the carpet outside of it. Jace was sitting on his bed, shirtless and charging his phone by the bedside.
He gives you a glance when be hears your footsteps and then turns back away like it's nothing. You're as watchful as him as you begin to dress yourself, sliding a green long-sleeved shirt over your head. You'd layer a cardigan over it later, but for now you're craving the chill after your hot shower.
He gets up to place his snow globe on his dressing table and hooked the small heart shaped keychain on his laptop bag. You sat yourself on the bed, feeling it dip and watching him still.
He turns on the small light on the front of his room after he's done closing all the curtains, and then you watch him take his trousers off before taking down his towel from the coat hanger and enter the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Hearing the sound if water begin falling from where he's in, you let your shoulder relax, a tired sigh escapes you.
You leaned back against the pillows and closed your eyes for a moment, letting the world around you turn dark.
The first time Jacaerys had slept over in your apartment was the first time he ever knew you were on multiple medication. It was the first time the two of you ever had sex, and he had passed out easily after. You, despite being tired, found yourself kept awake by your thoughts.
You can't remember what exactly kept you up but it was 2 hours in when he was startled awake by your shuffling around.
You had spent the last hours contemplating if you should grab a pill to help fall asleep or if it was too late and the pill would cause you to sleep in on tomorrow morning's class. And so the indecisiveness resulted in you trying your best and failing to fall asleep naturally. He looked up at you groggily and frowned.
"How you been awake the whole time?" He asked. You sighed tiredly and laid on your back.
"Yeah, sorry, did I wake you?" He shook his head and wiped a hand over his face. "You didn't, it's fine. I just thought you'd be down easy after all that."
You snorted and shook your head. "I'm insomniac."
"Oh." You nodded. "Yeah I have meds for it, but sometimes the pills all just clash together and it doesn't really work." He hummed in understanding. You noticed he doesn't ask more about the pills. It was either he didn't care or he was being respectful. You learned weeks in later that it was the latter. Unsurprisingly.
"Well, what do you do when you can't sleep?" You shrugged your shoulders. "Dunno. Watch stuff on my phone."
"What do you usually watch?" He asks, characteristically interested. "Gay sex." His head jolted forward and his eyes immediately widened. "I'm joking."
His shock immediately watered down as he gave you a faint laugh in response. "Right, of course."
You spent the rest of the night talking to him until your body gave in and you collapsed around his arm around dawn.
It's not an easy thing to forget, a man's first show of affection in small subliminal ways that some people might not notice. But you did, you always do.
That was not the last time you'd see him sacrifice his own comfort to make you feel less lonely than you already were. In a room full of people, colleagues, friends and family, you found that only he had the power to make you feel seen.
Other people looked at you and saw what you let them see. But Jacaerys was willing to pay much more attention to the things other people didn't want to. Your condition, whatever it's called (most people call it complicated), often made people uncomfortable. How is it a person like you could be so non chalant yet care so much at the same time. How was it you were reserved, but not shy or accepting of anyone's attempts to step over you?
They can't quite understand the complexity of being a damaged person that still tries their best to undo those damages on a daily. Niceties didn't always equal empathy. You learned that very early on in your life. To find someone who wouldn’t try to fix the hard parts of your self or resent you for them wasn't easy.
Most men, that you knew of, will either try to "fix" you in an attempt to make themselves feel heroic. Like a savior. And when they realise too far in that those scars you bared was unreversable, they use it againts you instead. They paint you out to be the bad guy for those same traits they promised and vowed to be so understanding of.
And for almost the only time ever in your life that night, you didn't feel like your secrets were owed to anyone. A safe space was a place you knew you could be vulnerable with, but t was also supposed to be a place where you knew you could still be caution with all your walls up and still wouldn't be judged for it.
It was him who stayed through the cold shoulders and unanswered questions. And so, it was also him who you then trusted your whole heart with.
---
You were woken up 30 minutes before dinner time. Feeling the soft nudge Jacaerys gave you, shaking you awake easily. His hand lingered on your shoulder until you were sitting up fully. You thanked him and went up to the bathroom to wash your face.
"Mom's making lasagna tonight." He says ftom outside the bathroom door. He no longer referred to Rhaenyra as 'my mom', including you as part of the family without any awkwardness.
"I love lasagna." You called back. "I know."
The cold sink water have been getting warmer and warmer as the snow outside begins to melt. The weather was still antagonizing, but driving through the wet road was easier now, and morning showers are less dreadful.
"You know, we don't really get snow back home." You quipped as you turn off the sink, making your way out. "Really?" He asked, genuinely astonished.
"Yeah, it's a much warmer climate where I'm from." He was putting on a sweater by his mirror when you came out, his eyes met yours through the reflection. "So, you've never built a snowman before?".
You smiled and nodded, walking over to the bed. "Nope, the one we did the other day was my first time." Snowman building and snowball fights were fun, though you wouldn’t admit to your boyfriend that you much preferred staying inside with the heater on as you munch on some cookies and hot chocolate.
You were layering moisturiser over your face when you hear Jace speak, "I forgot to tell you, your mom called on your phone while you were sleeping." You froze for a second before your hands resumed massaging your face with the product.
"Oh, did you talk to her?" You asked, giving him a quick glance. Jacaerys shook his head and you felt relief spread through your whole body.
He sat by your side, watching you do your skincare routine meticulously. "I muted it, but you should probably call her back, it was two misscalls." You hummed uncaringly, as if it was the least important thing in the world, not wanting to give out a suspicious reaction.
The truth was you did not have the guts to check your messages at all since you came back from the shopping trip. You had her on mute and that had helped calm your nerves. But knowing that she had went as far as calling you twice, which believe it or not, is the first time you've ever had that much attention from her, was anxiety inducing.
"I'll call her later." You stated, noticing him still staring at you from the corner of your eyes. "Why did you say that she already knew you were here when we first arrived at the airport?" He asks suddenly.
There weren't any direct correlations of this question to the current situation, but it was unsurprising that he had brought this up. In fact, you have been waiting for him to do so.
"I did tell them." You answer bluntly. "You told me a few days before that you didn't want to." You closed the cap of your face serum and stashed it back inside your small bag, taking yout time with the conversation.
"I changed my mind. I was telling the truth when I said I didn't want to tell them at first, but I figured they should know. In case of emergencies." He was content with the answer, making no more inquiries.
Dinner was quick and quiet. You helped cut the marble cake Rhaenyra had made into small square shapes before its passed around to the whole table after prayers were spoken together.
There were no leftovers of it or the lasagna by the time it was over. You could tell that the older woman was overjoyed. She was someone who put all of her love and effort into everything that she does for her family, and watching her children appreciate the hard work of a mess she made in the kitchen must've felt rewarding.
You helped her with the dishes until everyone else except Jace had left. She argued against it at first, insisting that you were a guest and shouldn't have to do anything. But you refused to leave until the kitchen was clean, so she had you sweep crumbs and pieces out of the carpet while Jace was to take out the trash.
"It's good to have another woman here." She said to you as she stacks up the dry plates back to the shelves.
Throwing out the collected trash into the dustbin, you offered her a small laugh. "I'm glad you feel so."
You went up first after the cleaning was done, leaving Jacaerys with his mother, discussing the Christmas tree arrangements.
The medium sized plastic tree they had ordered last week finally arrived, and it was up to him to fix it up on their livingroom by the end of today.
You considered your gift for his family that you had handmade a few days before you flew here. It would've been easier to buy something, but buying them all an individual gift would be costly, and Jacaerys himself have warned you against that, deeming it unnecessary.
And so your ivory and indigo themed painting of Daisies and Forget Me Not's would be enough.
It was an image that you had longed to paint for a long time, two contrasting coloured flowers tangled together. But with all the assignments and homework that your degree was already requesting of you, there hadn't be any time for you to make it up until the week before you an Jace left.
It wasn't your best work, but it was your favourite. The subtlety that tied together on the canvas satisfied you.
Jace came up shortly after you had. Mumbling something about the decorations looking shitty. Ignoring the fact that you were reading on the bed, jumped on it suddenly, making you bounce up. "Hello?" You snapped, waving your book.
He raised his brows innocently, laying down on the pillows. "All you do is read and paint." He whined. "I like reading and painting."
He poked your right thigh with his toes making you pause reading to slap his feet as a warning. "Get a hobby." You could feel his eye roll from behind you. "Loving you is my hobby."
You kept your eyes on the book as you responded, "how lifeless you must be." Your book is snatched from your hand right after your sentence is finished. "Give it back you gorilla." You twist yourself towards him, trying to reach for the book as he held it up over your head.
"No, this thing has taken over my place as the center of your attention." You let out a loud hah! Pushing him down against the bed and pried the book from his cold hands as he kept his grip on it.
"Bold of you to assume you were ever the center of my attention." He gasped and you took the opportunity to grab the book while his hand loosens.
"How can I not be the center of your attention? Look at me." He spoke seriously.
The book was safely placed by your side, but now he's grabbing you over him instead. "You know I only agreed to date you just in case I'd need to apply for a green card." You gritted out as he squeezes your face against his cheek. Jacaerys' facade of being offended broke and he threw his head back in a boisterous laugh, letting you slip away from him
Shoving him strongly while he's still choking on laughter, he fell off the bed with an oof and landed face down, drawing out a laugh from you instead.
Pulling himself back up, he squints his eyes and glared at you. "You're so boring."
What he views as boring is your kind of fun and that was just how it is. "What do you want us to do instead? Have a slumber party?" He tilt his face, genuine considering it. You cut him off before he could agree. "No- We're not doing that, because I know your definition of slumber party."
"I thought you liked my definition of a slumber party." He asks, laying his head on your lap and letting you get your few pages in for the night. "We're at your parent's house, I don't think they'd like your definition of a slumber party." He hummed and said nothing else, closing his eyes as he stays against your thighs.
You suspected it was either the white wine or the sugar rush of the three squares if marble cake that he had tonight that was making him slightly more hyper. Whatever it was, it's refraining him from being able to just sit his ass down. You once asked him if he had ADHD during your first month of dating, he vaguely answers 'probably' and started talking about something else right after.
Speedreading the last 3 pages of the chapter you're in, you thought he had fallen asleep until he turned around so he would face up to you. "Do you want to go see the Christmas lights?"
You barely heard what he said at first, trying to finish reading the last sentence of the page. "Huh?" He repeated what he said again, waiting for you to close your book and meet his eyes.
When you finally do, you looked down at him with skepticism. "Right now?" He nodded. It was around 8.30, not that late, but also pretty early. You tossed and turned the suggestion in your head until you finally just shrugged at him. "Are they really that pretty?"
"This street is full of mansions wrapped with gigantic traffic lights coloured decorations. Pretty sure the Millers have a gigantic Elf statue outside their gate." You blinked in surprise. "That's...festive."
He nodded in agreement. "Yeah, rich people stuff."
You'd counter back that he was rich too, but there aren't any weird Santa statues in this house yet, so you say nothing. "We don't have to see the ones around this neighbourhood, I know the street stalls are gonna be lit up all around tonight, We could drive around, grab a burger or something."
You were still full from the lasagna, but a burger sounded appealing. You had grown up around street foods and cheap oily burgers and fries from stalls by your house. The taste was always better than whatever clean expensive food you've ever had in your life. You were eager to get out of this place suddenly.
"Okay, sure. Let me finish one more chapter and we can go." Jacaerys cheered, fist bumping the air before he rolled off of you to go change into something thicker.
It ended up being an hour later when you were finally done with the book, managing to convince your dressed up boyfriend on his reindeer sweater that it's much too early still.
To make up for your lack of priority for the time, you were punished to wear a matching red sweater like his. Putting it on with a grumble and frown, he had no idea that you secretly liked the sweater but would rather die than confess it aloud.
You let him get downstairs first to inform his mother of your plans. He was already starting the car engine when you got down, his parents and young Joffrey were all settled on the couch, watching Bluey.
Rhaenyra smiled as you walked by. You waved at her as you're about to walk out and hear her call out to her son. "Be back before 11, or I'll lock you both out!"
"Yeah, yeah." Jace yelled back and closes the door.
You hopped on the passenger seat of his Range Rover with ease and put on the seatbelt while he starts to reverse the car out of parking.
"So, where first?" You ask.
"We could start with stalking our neighbour's houses and then go on a drive down the street- or, we could go down the street first and then stalk our neighbours." You don't miss the way he referred to his neighbours as ours. "I think we should stalk the weird elf dude first, we'll probably be starving again by the time that's done, and then we can go straight to the shops and get a burger."
"Oh wow, you had this all planned out didn't you?" He sounded amused.
"Well, better safe than sorry." He wore a puzzled expression at your words but did not ask for clarification.
The house with the 5'4 elf wasn't that far away from his, and true his words were, the elf did exist by the large gates.
It had a green pointy hat on and wore a red vest with blue buttons.
"The Italian flag?" You whispered out in confusion, watching through the binoculars Jace had stolen from his younger brother. "I think...that's the Christmas colours, not the Italian flag." He whispered back, taking the binoculars from you.
"Oh right, of course." This had to be the first and last time you said something that stupid around him. You had a reputation to keep of being the smart one
What's more terrifying than the large demonic eyes of the elf staring at you was how there were also multiple tiny elves surrounding the big one, like little elf babies with adult elf faces. They crowded around the feet of the big elf, building what seemed like an elf shrine.
"It's like a cult." Jacaerys spoke after a while. You thought the exact same thing.
"Like little cultish elves worshipping their elf messiah." Jace lowered the binocular and snapped his neck towards you. "You think this is legal?"
You frowned at him. "Why wouldn't it be?"
"I don't know, i mean it's a bit disturbing isn't it, like, doesn't this count as property damage or something, or least neighbourhood disturbance."
"The only authority figure I could imagine would have a problem with this is Santa Claus for illegal use of elves, besides that, I don't think a statue of Elf on the shelf would count as a distubance at all." He looked uncomfortable at your explanation, and only then did it click in your head.
"Jace, are you scared of the 5'4 static Elf?"
His silence and slow reaction was answer enough. You gasped in realization. "You are!"
"I'm not fucking scared of the Elf." He denied strongly as you leaned against the locked car door in shock. "I'm just...disturbed. It's almost the same height as me."
"You can't blame the elf for your growth problems." He glared at you and started the car on reverse. "That's the worst thing you've ever said to me, worse than the time you compared me to the hunchback of Notre Dame."
You burst out a giggle at the random memory. "Oh my god, the hunchback of Notre Dame!" You recalled the nickname joyfully. "Well, it made you fix your posture. Also you called me Baymax last week, so it cancels out.
Jace drives the car out of the neighbourhood, waving at the security guard who stood by the post to open the gate. Making a turn on his right, he heads straight for the streetshops.
"You called yourself Baymax, I just corrected you." He defends himself.
It took longer than usual to get there, considering that so many other people there had the same idea as them. Jace had to turn on the heater when halfway near the destination, snow began to fall down from lonely starless sky.
It was microscopic and beautiful. You had wanted to reach yout hand out through the window and grabbed one of the flakes on the palm of your hands, but you refrained from doing it
In the back of your head, you can hear the cynical voice of your mother calling your childlike awe a sign of immaturity.
People like you who thinks life is all about dreams and art and poetry are the kind of people who ends up in the street once your hopes have failed you.
You let yourself enjoy the scenery before Jace finally parks the car bynthe side of the road. He helps you get off the ride and locked it securely before intertwining your hands together and heading to the burger stall that's a block away from where you two stood.
"The traffic's gonna be crazy tomorrow." He mutters under his breath, looking up as the snowflakes continue to fall down. "Because of the snow?" You ask anyways, despite knowing the answer.
"That, and because people are going to head back home or wherever they came from for Christmas day." Ah yes, of course.
The holiday that you came here for.
"Well I can't imagine the traffic on the day after Christmas would be any more pleasing." He nods in agreement, scrunching up his nose in displease.
Thank god for their first class flight.
The burger order took less than 5 minutes. You sat down next to him by the door of a closed pawnshop as you ate it all up. The flavor of red chilli sauce and mayo filled you mouth, it felt like a reminiscent of an old memory.
You finished it faster than Jacaerys and stood up to walk over past the streetlamp to take a closer look at the glorious crescent moon that stared back at you from above.
Lifting both your hands up, you use them to cover the blurry glow of the lamp from your sides to let yourself see the moon better. You weren't sure how long you had been standing there just staring at it, but it didn't matter because even after years of knowing the exist of the moon, it's beauty never fail to leave you in awe every time you see it
"I don't think I've ever seen anyone this excited to see the moon." You hear your boyfriend tease from behind you. He must have already finished his burger. "Oh you haven't seen me with the stars yet.".
You could feel him smiling from behind as he places a hand on your shoulder. "Not much of them tonight." He noted. "Yeah, it's like they're all in hiding."
Letting your heart whisper out one last wish on the stunning moon, you turned back towards Jacaerys with pursed lips and raised brows. "Well, where are we going next?" He smiles back. "I think the bookstore up front is doing 20% off."
---
Jacaerys Strong is scared of a lot of thing. He's scared of learning new stuff. He is scared of heights and pests and gigantic sized elfs.
But his biggest fear these past few months is accidentally saying the wrong thing at the wrong time around you.
He realized very early on that when it came to being in a relationship with you, patience was a major key that was necessary. And just because he had succeeded in waiting long enough for you to finally unlock that door, it didn't mean that there were no more locks in the future.
But sometimes he's not sure which room he is in and he can't tell which key is for which. It's not that you're overly complicated, just more confusing than some. There were many times where he felt inclined to listening and studying the way you act instead of tryong to pry details out of you.
Pressuring you into opening up or trying to make whatever you two have go faster would be a recipe for disaster.
There was a discount indeed when you both got to the bookstore. Despite his reputation of being more muscles than brains, Jacaerys liked reading. He wasn't exactly an avid reader before he met you, but he enjoyed reading whatever you recommended him to so that the both of you could talk about it together afterwards.
You spent some time on the Young Adult shelf before moving onto the Classics and New Adult sections while your boyfriend strayed away to the other shelves but still remained close to you. And after 20 minutes of searching about, you finally picked up a copy of The Essex Serpent while Jace bought himself The Crucible.
"I didn't take you for a play kind of guy." You commented as you walk out the store. "I've read a few of them this year actually." He admits as the two of you make way to his car. "Really?" You sounded astonished, he couldn't blame you.
"Yeah, I actually had to read All's well that end's well and Hamlet for my lit class, but i liked them so I decided to read Macbeth too just for fun."
"You can understand Shakespeare?" You ask with a frown. He makes a face at your words. "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."
"I'm not. I tried Romeo and Juliet in like 11th grade, couldn't understand shit." You explained.
You liked reading and you liked literature, but you weren't good at understanding old english writing. Growing up, it felt like you weren't allowed to indulge in two kinds of hobbies that leaned more towards the artistic side of education. Your mother has always regarded your passion for the arts as a waste of times. I've never met an artists that didn't die suffering. She had told you when you were 13 years old after she had thrown out all of your drawing books because you were getting below B+ on your mathematic and science subjects.
"Did your school not have a literature class?" You shook your head no. "We had normal English for like, grammar, vocabulary, and essays. But we were never taught to read the classics or poetry like a lot of the other public schools."
Jacaerys was a private school boy, so of course his classes were much more detailed and well organized compared to the ones held in public schools.
"That sounds boring." It was boring, when you finally entered college and was able to attend literature class as an elective subject, you found that your passion for the language still burned bright even after years.
The next half an hour was spent driving down the road and looking at the fairy lights hung from streetlamp to streetlamp. A lot of the shops had plastic made snowmans guarding the door of the place.
More snow began heavily filling up the ground, it was getting the people around the place even more excited. You could see parents with their children, and teenagers with their friends running around trying to catch the snowflakes and bending down to investigate the ones that have fallen.
If it weren't for the blistering cold, you'd probably get off the vechicle to join them.
An old toyshop by the end of the road even had these stunning little rudolph the red nosed reindeer figures staring out from inside the shop. Jace suggested going in to check the place out, but you were getting comfortable in your seat, just enjoying the view from inside.
Clenching your toes tightly in an attempt to warm them up, the fuzzy pair of socks you had on were no help. "I think we should just stay inside, used enough money for today."
"Broken enough stuff too." He responds in a joking manner as he pulls over in a singular parking lot behind an empty building.
You feel a something snap in your head as you turned to him. "Are you still mad about that?" He wore a puzzled expression at the question but still kept his eyes on his front despite the car already being parked. "I'm not mad at you, I was just joking." He responds in a weary intonation.
"You don't have to lie to make me feel better." You said calmly. Sometimes people lie as not to offend the other person, but you wanted him to know that he could be honest with you on how be feels. "I know you were at least a little upset, that's why you wouldn't speak to me when we got home."
He turns off the front lights of the car and the engine, and then pulled his seat back slightly, getting more comfortable. When he finally looks at you, it was the kind of look that you have ling deciphered as a stare of commiseration. The kind that you give to starving stray dogs outside your door.
"Don't look at me like that, don't be patronizing." You warned him, leaning your back on the car door. "I'm not patronizing you, I didn't even say anything."
"You're looking at me like you feel bad, don't fucking feel bad. If you're angry at me, then tell me you're angry at me. I'm not a child, I can take it." He opened his mouth to argue against that but closed it just as fast as he opened them.
Glancing to his side like he's searching fir some sort of support, he meets your eyes again after a second, and spoke with much more confidence; "I'm not mad at you, I never was." You fold your arms together, shaking your head.
"Then why were you so silent on the way back- and don't say it's nothing, I know the difference between comfortable silence and awkward silence." He waves his arms in resignation and stutters out as he struggles to really think of a good response.
"Honestly?" You nod once. "I-I just didn't know, how to speak to you."
"What does that mean?" You pushed him to elaborate. "I mean, it's just that in certain times- certain situations, you can get so...vulnerable. Like you're seconds away from breaking. And in times like those, I'm just not sure how to approach or comfort you.
-I mean god knows I was never good with comforting people, but when you get so frustrated and upset, I'm just scared that if I say the wrong things or ask the wrong questions, I'll accidentally hurt you more and push you away from me further."
The pity in his eyes were gone, replaced with worry instead. You take in every words he says with a sharp piercing in your heart. "Oh."
A part of you is relieved to know that he was never really angry. Another part of you despises him for viewing you as something so fragile and pathetic. And then there is a third part of you from the inside, who knew that he was right. You had been compared to a ticking time bomb before, it was not new information.
"I'm sorry I made you think I was mad." He spoke again after a moment of silence. Your eyes strayed from his face to your lap, unable to meet his gaze.
He watches the way your face scrunces up in a thoughtful manner and gently places a hand on your thigh hesitantly. "I don't mean it in a bad way, I'm just, not that good with words sometimes."
Your face is relaxed as you look back up again, acceptant to the things he had said. "I get what you mean." You told him, the aggressiveness from before already melting back into passivity. "I'm sorry too, I know I can be a lot."
His free hand moved to caress the right side of your cheek. "You're not, we're both juat doing what we know as best as we can." You nodded and offered him a half smile.
He pulls you into a hug, the seating arrangement making it a bit hard, but the two of you pulled through. "My mom's angry I'm here." You mumbled into his chest.
Jacaerys' brows knitted together. "Why? She doesn't like me or something?" Be feels you shake your head no. "She doesn't even know you. She just thinks every decision I make is a bad one." He didn't know what to say to that.
He's never met your family before, but it was obvious that you were raised in a very different environment than he was.
He also understood that you've always had a certain way dealing with negative things in your life, a certain perspective that makes your choices understandable.
"Did she want you to come home?" You answered no. "She doesn't care if I come home or not, and yet for some reason she's upset that I chose to be here instead of going back home."
"She sounds like a bitch, I'm gonna be honest." You snorted out a laugh as you pulled away before he could regret his words. "She is."
"So, what are you going to do?" You shrugged with a sigh. "Nothing. That's what I always do." You've given up trying to defend yourself years ago. Arguing with your mother never ends well because she doesn't argue to understand, she argues to win. "Some people are worth fighting for, but not everyone is worth fighting with."
He says nothing, staring at you from his seat. You wanted to ask him if he understood what you mean, if he understood that the person you mentioned worth fighting for was him, but just not against your mother. But you were already so sick and tired of talking about her.
She's like some sort of negative charge around you, even the thought of her brings darkness and gloom. "It doesn't matter what she thinks. Because in the end of the day, I'm the one who chose to be here, and I haven't regret it so far." His face broke into a grin at that. "No?"
"No." You repeated surely. "Hmm." He ponders. "Does that mean you're up for a repeat next year?" You raise a brow at that. "This year's one isn't even finished, you're already planning for next year's?"
"Of course."
"How do you know if I'll still be around next year?" You weren't sure what kind of answer you were expecting. It was some sort of test, not just for him, but for you too. "Because I know I love you. And I know you love me too."
"Love is a big word." You noted after considering his confession fairly. In most situations regarding intimacy and vulnerability, you'd always find yourself to be stuck in between the flight or fight mode. But this time, you're sitting down with it and letting yourself indulge the possibilities.
"Are you making fun of my vocabulary or are you questioning my sincerity." Oh. that sentence overall were all big words for him you fought over the grin threatening to appear.
"I'm questioning your assumption that I feel the same way as you."
"Well," he starts, "-you're here with me right now aren't you?" He says it in a matter of factly tone, leaning in towards you, wiggling his brows. "That means nothing." You countered his defense.
"If I kiss you right now, would it mean nothing?" The question was so sudden, you scoffed in face for all the words you're unable to say. "If you kiss me right now, it's because I'm letting you do it."
"Because you love me." You relented and matched his smile. "I love...your mother. And I love your siblings." He eyes you suspiciously. "But what I feel for you surpasses the word love." It was cheesy, it was childish, it was you laying your heart out for him and not being ashamed of it.
"Tomato, tomahto. I call it love, you call it whatever you just did." He muttered back His lips captures yours right after. Your palms finds the sides of his face as he kisses you deeper.
You don't hesitate to climb up from your seat to his own. You feel his fingers gripping your waist as you settle yourself over his lap, pushing the headrest down with a freehand, he lets you take the lead as his fingers moves lower to grip on your hips.
There was nothing soft about the kiss, your tongues danced with his and your teeth clashes together. He made sure that there would be no gap between you two. You gasp out for air once you pull away to slip your sweater off of you. You pull your pants down easily along with your underwear.
"Thank god for tinted windows, huh?" He whispers to you breathily as he discards his own clothes and zip open his trousers.
Your response to that joke is to push him back against the seat to kiss him stronger than before. "Jesusfuckingchrist." He swore against your lips when you begin to ground yourself against his hard on.
He lifte his hips up to meet your grinding, the sensation of your bare pussy against his cock. His fingers squeezes into the skin of your ass, making you whine out loudly. "Fuck- I need you." You moaned deliriously humping on him like your life depends on it.
He pulls his cock out of his boxers fully, pushing it inside your wet squelching cunt. He groaned into your ear as you hid your head by his neck. Your hands held onto his shoulders as your hips jumped up and down on his cock. His grip on you is bruising, but it only added to the pleasure.
You feel the head of his penis hitting your clit harshly every time you sink down fully on it. Jacaerys is grunting out your name repeatedly like prayers in the dark and throwing his head back, lost in the pleasure.
"God- Ah, Jace-" He relishes the noises you make as you squeezes his cock with your warm, tight pussy. "So good." It's driving him insane and he's almost breathless as you continue to pleasure yourself using him to get yourself off. "Fuck, baby." He growled.
You held each other through your orgasm, biting into his neck when you felt relief pass through you. That's gonna leave a mark, you thought. But the night was still bright, snow still falling, and neither of you had much energy left to care.
“Jacaerys, we have the heater on, why are you wearing a turtleneck?” Rhaenyra asks as she bring over the big plate of lemon cake to the table. “I like this turtleneck,” was his response to her. A terrible excuse, but she asked nothing more.
You helped her set the table while Jacaerys went over to his brothers’ rooms to wake them up. You could hear him yelling from upstairs, “It’s Christmas morning, get up!”
You refuse to admit to him that te Christmas spirit had gotten into you. Preparing the plates around each seat, you are more excited for the gift unwrapping that’ll be done after breakfast. And the snowball fight. Since when did you become so excited for snowball fights? Since you closed your eyes and tried to imagine this kind of life going on for years and realized that you want nothing less than it.
The kids came running down the stairs, bouncing in every step. “Don’t jump Joffrey, you’ll fall.” Rhaenyra chastised. Lucerys and Joffrey rushed to their seat, Jace following close from behind. “Hurry up, I want to open the presents.” Luc rushed. “You’ll get your presents sooner or later. Now, please eat breakfast slowly, I don’t need you choking on your meals at 9am.” His father’s voice boomed from the hallway as he entered the kitchen.
He had been out all day, buying stocks of eggs and flour for Rhaenyra to use.
“Alright, alright-“ Rhaenyra spoke, sitting down alongside everyone at last. “Who’s gonna say the prayers today? Luc?” The boy immediately shook his head. “I’ll do it.” Jace offered, his mother looked internally grateful. “Alright, go on.”
He takes a deep breath before he holds his fists together and closed his eyes, everyone but you followed through. You watch him begin to thank god for the food on the table and for his family’s good health and fortune before he goes on to thank god for his beautiful girlfriend. Luc mutters out an ‘ew’, which Jacaerys quickly retorts back ‘You just don’t have a girlfriend that’s why you’re jealous.” In the middle of his prayer, earning a warning ‘Jace…’ from his mother.
In the meantime, you were grateful that all of their eyes were closed, so that they wouldn’t be able to see your wide smile and flushed cheeks. I don’t have much faith in god these days, but I’d burn a prayer or two for you, you thought to yourself. And you meant it.
Once he ends his prayers with an Amen, he opens his eyes to connect them with yours first before the silent moment shared was broken by everyone else’s eagerness to eat.
They had not understood the meaning between your shared glances with him. How it was a way for him to tell you that you, just like his family, is his priority. They also don’t know how you had blocked your whole family’s contact list for good. And when you had told him of your action that morning, he looked at you so reassuringly and told you that as long as is he alive, you would never be without a family.
623 notes · View notes
jaeyums · 10 months
Text
Just One More (Part 1)
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Pairings - Fratboy!Haechan x reader (lowkey x dreamies)
Word Count - 3k
Content Warning - smut (obvi), angst, slight corruption kink, dacryphilia, oral (f receiving), fingering, drinking, loss of virginity, Fratboy! Haechan (kinda), Toxic!Haechan, mentions of drowning (what??) pls Imk if I missed anything
Summary - You curse your new neighbours, partying what feels like every night, the booming bass making it impossible to sleep. Fed up, you finally ask them to turn it down, but when you're forced to make a seemingly harmless deal, things spiral faster than you ever could've imagined.
A/N - Ty all sm for the support on the teaser, its genuinely such a big motivator <3
previous | next
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Your alarm clock beeps, 4:45am glowing in red. You rub your eyes tiredly, crawling out of bed. It feels like time’s moving extra slow as you groggily go through your morning routine.
Finally ready for the day, you grab your work bag and red lifeguard shirt and head out the door to your opening shift at the pool.
Time goes by slowly and painfully, your tiredness making it difficult to pay attention to the early morning swimmers. You spent your time off deck doing some last minutes studying, though you doubt you actually retained any information.
The midterm was rougher than you had expected but you’re sure you’ve at least passed. You felt a slight weight lift off your shoulder as you hand it in, knowing reading break was right around the corner.
You finally arrive home, absolutely exhausted. You change into your lounge wear and instantly pass out on your couch.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You’re jolted awake, the sound of someone trying to break down your door booming through the apartment.
You scramble to get up, still drossy, as you shuffle your way to the door, grumbling.
“I’m coming, fuck, gimme a fucking second.”
You throw open the door angrily to reveal Haechan standing there.
“You didn’t forget about our deal did you?”
You throw a hand up to your forehead, it had completely slipped your mind. Plus you were so tired upon arriving home you didn’t even have a chance to think about it.
“And after we were so quiet last night too.”
He frowns, shaking his head in disappointment.
You had to admit they held up their side of the deal perfectly, and you weren’t trying to find out how loud they’d blast their music if you went back on this deal.
“Yeah no I’m coming, I just fell asleep.”
His face instantly lights up.
“Are you wearing that?”
He asks gesturing to your shorts and hoodie.
“Because honestly I wouldn’t mind, maybe just comb your hair a bit.”
You run your hands through your hair subconsciously but you quickly stop, annoyed when you catch yourself.
“No I’m not wearing this, just give me an hour to get ready.”
“Make it half.”
And with that he walks back to his apartment, leaving you to bask in your sorrow.
You run your hand through your hair again, checking it in the reflection of a nearby mirror. It did look really messy.
In all honesty, going to a party was the last thing you wanted do to right now, especially since your bed looked so welcoming. But if nothing else, you were a girl of your word, so you hopped into the shower.
The familiar sound of music blaring causes you to hesitate knocking on the door infront of you. You can’t even remember the last time you partied. Always going to school, studying, or working, you never had time to go out and have fun.
You debate turning back around and cozying up back in bed, your word be damned. You shift, turning back to leave, before realizing a boy is blocking your path.
He’s holding two packs of coolers, looking at you with a smirk.
“Where do you think you’re going? Pretty sure the party is that way.”
You sigh in defeat, and go to knock, but he interrupts your attempt.
“Do you really think they’ll hear you over the music? It’s open.”
You look back at him, his sharp eyes staring back in condescending confusion. He had this expensive aura to him that almost intimidated you.
When you don’t break eye contact, he leans forward, and you stumble back startled. He’s inches away from your face, his eyes still blaring into yours, when you hear the door open. You turn and realize he was leaning forward to open it.
He snickers and your reaction and walks past you, holding up the coolers in triumph.
“Let’s go Chenle!”
The boys shout upon his arrival. You feel so awkward, still standing in the door way, not sure if you should walk in or not.
You step inside as the door closes behind you. Taking in the party, you count around 30 people, clearly a smaller get together. Everyone seems to already know each other, your uncomfortably rising by the second.
You can’t help but look for Haechan, hoping to see some kind of a familiar face, despite the fact you two only properly met yesterday.
Your eyes finally landed on his tall figure, dressed in a nice black shirt and jeans. He’s leaned over a girl, whispering something in her ear. You watch as she blushes and squirms under his gaze as he pulls back to look at her.
The whole scene makes you feel off, so you decide to head towards where you imagine the bathroom is. Assuming the layout is similar to yours, you walk through a hallway with several doors lining it, which is way more doors than your hallway has.
You try your best to guess the right room, saying a small prayer before opening the door.
You’re met with the site of a boy sitting with his head titled back, this adams apple bobbing as he lets out a groan. Your eyes trail down to see and girl on her knees at the edge of the bed, her head between his legs.
He looks down slightly as he notices the now open door, and you peeking in. He bites his lip, scanning you up and down.
Breaking out of a trance you didn’t know you were in, you quickly close the door.
You back away from the door, your face scrunching in embarrassment, but your body is pressed against something before you’re able to get far.
Two hands land on your waist, holding you there, as Haechans face comes into view over your shoulder. His touch sends shivers up your spine.
“Whatcha looking for, princess?”
You can faintly smell a mix of alcohol and cologne as his breath tickles your ear. You try to move away but his grip tightens, restricting your movement.
“Relax, I was just looking for the bathroom.”
He lets out a laugh.
“That room definitely isn’t the bathroom, but I’m sure you’ve realized that by now, haven’t you.”
You narrow your eyes at him, silently hoping your cheeks aren’t as red as they feel, still hyperaware of his hand placement.
“Second door on the left.”
He finally lets go, as if giving you permission to leave. You nod at him as thanks and speed walk over to the second door on left.
You stand in front of the mirror, taking in your reflection. You actually pulled together quite well considering the day you had. Your hair and makeup complimented your features beautifully. Your outfit hugging your body in all the right places.
This is just a stupid party, no need to get so freaked out over people getting a little freaky, right?
Your mental pep talk is interrupted by someone walking into the bathroom, not noticing you at first.
You kick yourself for not locking the door, but the boy who just entered was unbelievably handsome, having a cute boyish look to his features, so you can’t be too mad.
“Oh, oh my god, sorry, fuck, I-I uh didn’t realize someone was in here, so sorry.”
You can’t help but laugh as he struggles to apologize, covering his eyes slightly.
“It’s totally okay, I was just leaving anyways.”
He lowers his hands, only now getting a good look at you. He seems to like what he sees as his face lights up.
“Leaving? Already? We could just chill in here a bit.”
You raise your eyebrow sceptically, though he seemed so innocent, it was hard to tell his intentions.
“I just think a break from all the chaos outside would be nice,”
He quickly clarifies upon seeing your expression shift.
“I’ve never seen you before, what’s your name?”
“oh yeah it’s my first time here, it’s y/n.”
He smiles, his pink gums flashing cutely when he does.
“My name’s Jisung, nice to meet you.”
His aura is much more comforting than anyone else’s you’ve encountered at this party so far. He was slightly shy, but still held himself confidently.
Before you can continue your conversation the door is swung open again.
Now Haechan stands in the doorway looking almost annoyed.
“What the fuck is going on in here?”
His tone is humous and teasing, but the sentiment doesn’t make it to his face.
Jisung just rolls his eyes.
“Nothing, Haechan, we were just talking.”
“Well we’re playing a game now so let’s go. Out, both of you.”
He moves to the side gesturing you two out of the room. Jisung walks past him, but when you try to do the same he stops you in your tracks.
“Here, you’ll need this for the game.”
He holds out a red solo cup, taking a sniff causes you to recoil, the smell of liquor burning your nose.
“Oh, I don’t drink.”
“You do today.”
After a moment, you reluctantly take it. Maybe this will help with the nerves you’ve been trying so hard to ignore.
“Plus, if you do well, you won’t have to have any anyways.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Around ten of you now sit in a circle in the living room. Haechan stands in the middle explaining the rules of the game. It’s relatively simple, just truth or dare but if you refuse to do the challenge, you drink.
You look around, seeing some faces you’ve seen before. Chenle, Jisung, Jeno, and the boy from the bedroom, the girl being no where to be seen, are scattered throughout the circle.
“Couldn’t we just lie if we didn’t feel like telling the truth?”
Asks Chenle, titling his head.
“Can’t, we must swear on our life to be honest,”
He responds dramatically.
“But if you still feel like being a liar, Renjun is basically a human lie detector.”
He looks to a boy wearing glasses, who waves to the rest with a tight lipped smile.
With that, Haechan joins the circle, sitting on the couch directly across from you. His eyes now locked onto you.
The game starts with the usual stupid challenges, everyone laughing with each other, a playful feeling fills the air. People have yet to ask you anything, most likely due to the fact that they don’t know your name, which you were beyond grateful for.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t last long as Jisung decided you’ve been too comfortable for too long.
“Why hasn’t anyone asked y/n yet? Jaemin, since it’s your turn, you do it.”
The boy who you’d seen receiving services earlier looks over to you, the same scandalous look returning to his face.
“Hmm okay y/n, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
You answer almost immediately, not daring to risk hearing the twisted things Jaemin would come up with if you had chosen dare.
“Okay, let’s start with something easy. What’s your body count?”
The room fills with the boys talking, trying to guess what the number might be before you say it.
“I’d guess like five? surely not over ten.”
“I don’t know, she might be in double digits.”
“Look at her, I’m saying at least thirteen.”
“She kind of has this innocent aura though.”
The only person not chiming in was Haechan. As uncomfortable as it was having people you just met discuss your sex life, the way Haechan looked at you made you ten times more uncomfortable.
It felt like he could see right through you, like he already knew the answer; that all his friends were wrong. He knew the moment he touched your waist, knew by the way you reacted so sensitively to his hands.
You tried your best to advert your gaze, laughing uneasily. It’s not that you’re embarrassed or anything…okay you might be slightly embarrassed, nonetheless it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s just the thought of revealing something so personal to a bunch of strangers that didn’t sit well with you.
“I think I’m gonna have to drink.”
Your answer is met with uproar, a series of “boo”s following your announcement.
You ignore them looking at the cup in your hand uneasily, before closing your eyes and taking a long chug.
The boos quickly turn into cheers, encouraging you to drink more.
So you do. You finish the cup in that long chug, a boy, apparently named mark, quickly handing you another drink. You pause, but only for a second, before taking it.
Just one more drink can’t hurt, can it?
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tags : @snflwrhaerecs4u @ki-aechan @loveforred
835 notes · View notes
oddballwriter · 3 months
Text
The Sweetest Thing
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Summary: Your hobby of baking causes an issue for the boys. Not because of anything with you, it's a matter of control with themselves.
Warnings: Nothing really.
Author’s Snip: I bake as a hobby and while making brownies earlier I thought this up.
I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.
Word Count: 816
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Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction (you can join the taglist, just ask)
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It was a problem. Not for you. You were just acting out your hobby of baking and there was nothing wrong with that at all. The problem was with the boys and the fact that they couldn’t resist eating whatever you baked. Whether it be brownies, cookies, cupcakes, bonbons, pies, anything.
You wouldn’t call yourself a top baker, but the boys always sang your praises and wanted the first taste every time. But you seem to always have something freshly baked and fresh out the oven.
Steven was the least likely to tell you no when you offered him a piece of what you’ve made, always having the subconscious intuition to start baking so that when it was all ready it could be pair with his tea. And it would be nice to have something with his tea. And you always go through the trouble of using a vegan recipe.
“Oh, I really shouldn’t.” Steven says to himself as you offer him a few cookies you just finished, “I can’t be eating so much sugar all the time.” he warns himself. “Just one won’t hurt.” Steven excuses.
But one turns into two, and then an extra third that he didn't realize he was eating until he was just about done with it.
"So much for 'just one'." Steven scolds himself.
"At least I know that they were good," you remark.
"Thank you for letting me try them though, love. They were delicious. But next time I'll just grab one and leave the rest of the container alone." Steven says.
It's worse when Marc just got done working out. Gained some muscle, shed a good amount of calories. But then he walks in and the flat smells like a damn bakery. Out of all of the days and times that you could have baked, you chose the day that Marc goes to the gym and the time he comes home. And you're there smiling at him.
"What's for dessert this time?" Marc asks as he walks over to you and kisses you on the cheek. "You giggle, "Cinnamon rolls, I found an easy-to-follow recipe a few days ago and wanted to give it a try." you explain.
Marc sighs, "Why do you always have to make something to make me regain all the calories I just lost?" he questions. "You don't have to eat them today if you don't want to." you say, "Plus, they aren't done yet. They need to be done baking and I need to make the frosting." you add.
"You can have one once they're complete and cooled down." you offer him. "That's the issue. If you're the one who made them then I'll get up eating more than one." Marc explains.
"Sometimes having a little bit of a little snack pouch is okay as long as you're healthy." you half-joke.
Jake hardly does anything about it though. He couldn't care less if he gained a pound or two if it meant getting to enjoy your baking. Matter of fact he's right there when you bake. Arms wrapped around your body while you measure and mix, but he hardly really helps in your opinion.
"Are you just going to hold me the whole time or are you going to do something?" you question playfully. "I help by licking the spoons and bowls." Jake replies.
You huff in amusement before picking up the teaspoon that you used a second ago, "Then do me a favor and 'clean' this for me." you request as you hand it to him. Jake takes it and gives it one lick before trying to spit in an immediate reaction. "What the hell was that?" Jake exclaims. "I used that for the vanilla extract." you say simply.
"That was mean." Jake says with a fake pout. "You saw me use it a second ago, I don't know how you fell for that." you laugh.
"I just like watching you work, I don't pay attention to what exactly you're putting in. You could poison it right in front of me and I probably won't catch it at first." Jake says before he slightly changes the subject.
"Speaking of watching you bake. I would love to help you open up a little bakery and have a little section where I can watch you make everything." Jake mentions as he holds you closer and kisses your neck. "I don't think I'm that much of a baker that I could have a business." you comment.
"I'd disagree. I think once someone gets a taste of what you make then they'd be flocking for a single piece." Jake says.
"Jake I use recipes I find online and then write down if I like them." you mention.
"Well then maybe it's time that you experiment with making your own." Jake fires back, "I can taste test for you while you try to nail it." he suggests.
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amomentsescape · 9 months
Note
I'm dead, its finals for the semester at my school. Could you do a different slashers x reader were the reader has finals and is burnt out, emotional, and overwhelmed and they hate to see the reader that way and maybe some even get mad at the school for causing this and do somthing about it like making it shut down for a while?
Slashers with Stressed! Reader During Finals Week
A/N: Thank you so much for the request! Please, make sure to take care of yourself during this time. I wish you the best of luck on your finals! :)
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Freddy Krueger
Anything but smiling is basically a no-go in his book
The fact that he also hasn't seen you in a while only makes him more frustrated
He's aware of the all-nighters you've been pulling recently
Your head buried in numerous books and pages
He decides enough is enough and shows up in your world instead
Your desk is a mess, and he can see the slight puffiness under your eyes from your most recent breakdown
Yeah, he needs to end this
He gives you a reassuring hug and disappears again
He finally comes back about an hour later, a smile on his face
"There won't be school for a while"
You look at him confused
However, all the lack of sleep was catching up with you, so you don't argue as he leads you to bed, tucking yourself under the sheets
The next morning, you wake up to several notifications on your phone, all of them saying that several students were found dead in their beds last night
The whole school was going to be shut down for a while as an investigation ensues
You could practically hear Freddy's laugh echo in your mind
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Michael Myers
He doesn't understand why you're so stressed out
It's just a few tests
If they're bothering you so much, just skip them
But as he watches your desperate attempt to explain why you have to take them and everything that's on the line if you don't, he finally gives up
He hates seeing you so upset about something so trivial
So he heads out that night while you're snoozing on the desk, having passed out on accident
You finally wake up a couple hours later, you eyes slowly adjusting to Michael in front of you
He's changing out of his dirty clothes, trying carefully not to wake you
However, when he notices you looking at him confused, he just walks over to you
In his hands, the bloody school ID's from every single one of your professors
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Jason Voorhees
Jason has been practically begging you to go to sleep or eat SOMETHING
But you keep refusing him, too overwhelmed at the amount of studying you have to do
You are hoping that by using every possible minute you have, you'll be able to at least pass these finals
But Jason feels like you're just torturing yourself
So while you're drowning out the world with your headphones, Jason is slipping out to your school
He somehow manages to destroy most of the campus's electrical supply
This gives you a couple extra days to prepare and actually take care of yourself
When you find out the news, you can't help but jump onto Jason
He's just happy to finally see a smile on your face
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Thomas Hewitt
You had to explain just what a final was and how it affects you by not passing
He understands why you're so stressed now, but it doesn't make the situation any better in his opinion
He tries to tend to you as much as possible
Drinks, food, back rubs, blankets, etc.
Literally anything that he feels would make you comfortable in the moment, he brings to you
Will stay up with you too, waiting for the minute you need something
He really enjoys taking care of you too, so none of it feels like a chore
As much as he would like to make dinner out of your professors for overwhelming you this much, he knows that it would only stress you out more
Plus, he's confident you'll do well on your finals!
You are the smartest person he knows, honestly
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Bubba Sawyer
He's also completely at your beck and call
He doesn't feel comfortable leaving home on his own, so he doesn't know how to help get rid of the source of your stress
But he's very much willing to alleviate it as much as he can
He makes you dinner, prepares some warm tea, and even gets the fireplace going for you
He also tries to clean and tidy up the area around you, hoping it will help you focus more
He's never taken an exam before, but he definitely knows it's important to you
And what matters to you, matters to him
He shushes everyone who walks by just a little too loud, earning a couple laughs from you
He does pull you away from the desk every once in a while though, making you lie down with him and cuddle
He assures you that taking breaks is good for you, but you're starting to think the cuddles are more for him than you
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Brahms Heelshire
Grades were pretty important to his parents growing up, so he understands the pressure
But taking 5 huge exams in the span of a week?
That's actually ridiculous
Will play some classical music for you, telling you that it always helped him focus when he was younger
Will be a little more lenient about you following the rules
But he still expects you to give him attention
If he feels you haven't given him enough affection in the past hour, he will be all up in your business like a neglected cat
He isn't helping your focus much unfortunately
But he eventually makes a deal with you to help you study
This way, you're still using your time wisely, and Brahms is still receiving your attention
Will ask you questions from flashcards to see if you're answering them correctly
Gives you a kiss every time you get one right
He honestly has full faith that you'll do great on your finals
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Norman Bates
Norman is trying his best to relax you, holding you tight while you explain your worries and frustrations
But the moment he hears your voice break and sees the tears running from your eyes, his memory goes blank
All he remembers is feeling an intense rage settle into his body
Not at you, but at your school for making you feel this way
He finally comes to a few hours later
It's already dark out, and he's standing over your sleeping form lying on the couch
He tucks you in quietly and helps tidy up your papers a bit
When you wake up the next morning, you have different notifications from your school and fellow classmates
You pull up a news report stating that the school was basically in shambles, and they even found a body of one of the professors in an empty classroom
This meant that your tests were going to be pushed off for a while until they sorted everything out
Norman looks just as confused as you do
"It's okay, dear. You should go back to sleep, okay?"
You simply nod and tuck yourself back in, thankful that you have some time to finally rest
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Billy Loomis
Billy has thought this through for a while
Because he's also needing to take finals with you
He kind of just shrugs them off, being fortunate enough to ace every test he's ever taken, with or without studying
But you on the other hand, were barely holding yourself together
You were basically surviving on just caffeine and adrenaline, the fear of failing being enough to keep you awake late into the night
Now, as much as Billy would love to kill off half the school's population, he knew better
Graduating was important to you, and he didn't want to risk prolonging that
So he went with plan B
He threatened the school
He did the second best thing he knew how to do, and that was making a phone call and telling the school that if professors or students showed up during the next two days, they were going to end up killed
This was enough to put everything in lockdown for a few days
How he managed to not get traced was unbeknownst to you
But you were still incredibly thankful, finally relaxing in his arms for the first time in days
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Stu Macher
Now Stu didn't really think this through like Billy had
He just went in for plan A
He didn't want to take these tests either!
But he also didn't want to put in a lot of work to prevent them
He just wanted to stay by your side as much as possible, hating to see you so worked up over these finals
So he did the "bare minimum" in his words
He went to school, killed a couple teachers, cut the phone lines and major electrical units, and went on his merry way
And of course, the school was immediately shut down as a huge investigation ensued
But Stu was happy with his decision
Now, he could spend the next few days with you AND see you relaxed for once
It was a win-win
Although murder may not have been your first option, you still gave him a big kiss as compensation
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Eric Draven
Of course Eric being Eric, murder is not the first solution in his book
He's taken plenty of finals in his day
He knows the pressure and the stress
And as much as he hated seeing you this way, he knew that the storm would blow over soon
But that's not to say he can't make you as comfortable as possible during it
He dug out an old heating pad and gave it to you, happy to see the wide smile you showed him once you grabbed it
He also lit a few of your favorite candles, trying to keep the atmosphere as relaxing as possible
He ordered take out for you both, got you your favorite drink, and even played some good studying music for you
He knew he wasn't going to be able to prevent you from pulling an all-nighter, so it only made sense for him to join you!
He ended up turning the whole night into one big study sleepover
He even helped you stay organized and provided a few study techniques that always worked for him
He's truly the perfect man to have by your side during this time
531 notes · View notes
roosterforme · 1 year
Text
The Gray Sweatpants | Rooster x Reader
Summary: For you and Bradley, sharing a home comes easily. He is always willing to put in the extra work to make you happy, and he will do it wearing his gray sweatpants and a smile.
Warnings: Fluff and smut
Length: 2100 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots! (But it can be read on its own) Check my masterlist in my profile for the reading order! Based on a request.
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Living with you was an interesting change of pace for Bradley. He had gotten so used to tiny living quarters and never sharing anything. But now you were here in this big house, along with all of your colorful stuff, and your perfume, and your kitchen gadgets. And you wanted to share everything with him. 
Not a day went by that you weren't wearing his clothing and using his shaving cream in the shower. And you always offered to share your food with him, holding up a sandwich or forkful of food for him to take a bite. You always seemed to be around asking about his day and giving him all of the details of yours, delivered with your own brand of wit and humor that never failed to have him wrapping his arms around you. 
It was one of the first Friday nights after you moved into his house, and now it was your house, too. Every time he got to use the word "ours", it made him happy in a way he couldn't really explain. 
"I was thinking we should plant a garden in the backyard," you said, feeding Bradley a bite of your dinner from your perch on his lap. You were wearing one of his Top Gun shirts and nothing else, and Bradley couldn't imagine living here without you. "I mean, San Diego kind of sucks for flowers, but we're hardy east coast people. We should have a garden."
"We would have no street cred if we didn't have sad, dying, east coast people flowers," he replied, delighting in the sound of your laughter. 
"Exactly! Plus, the backyard is a little scary, Roo. I'll help you clean it up on Sunday, if you want."
"Sure, Baby Girl. We'll see."
But he had something else in mind now.
---------------------
You woke up on Saturday morning to an empty bed and groaned. Bradley knew you had particular rules concerning him staying in bed with you on Saturday mornings. And you expected a certain level of compliance. 
"Bradley?" you called as you stumbled into the kitchen where you found him brewing coffee and eating some toast in just his gray sweatpants.
"Morning, Sweetheart," he rasped, but your mouth had gone dry. You must still be in bed, asleep and dreaming. That was the only way this would make sense.
You made a soft, strangled sound as Bradley reached up into the cabinet and grabbed your favorite mug. "Want some coffee?"
"Bradley," you whispered. He wasn't even wearing any underwear. You could see the outline of his cock pressing against the soft fabric as the pants hung low on his hips. 
You were taking a step closer to him, ready to drop to your knees when he said, "You'll be late for brunch with Cam and Maria if you don't leave soon." You had completely forgotten about your plans.
Your eyes slid up his naked torso until they met his smirking face. "Why are you not wearing underwear?"
He suddenly looked embarrassed, cheeks flushing pink. "I actually need you to show me how to use the washing machine. I'm almost out of clean clothes. Can you show me after brunch?"
You glanced at the clock on the microwave and sighed. You didn't even have time to properly blow your boyfriend like you wanted to. "Yeah, I'll show you after I get home, Roo," you whispered, running your fingers along his length through his pants.
"Oh fuck," he grunted when you cupped him and squeezed softly. He pressed you against the edge of the counter, and you could feel him getting hard for you. 
But you just stuck your chin in the air. "Next Saturday, make sure you stay in bed with me longer." You ducked out of his grasp with a grin while he groaned your name. "Oh, and I don't want to be late for brunch."
You got ready to go out, and when you passed him in the kitchen before you left, he was eating more toast and glaring at you. 
"You gonna come back and take care of this later?" he grunted, gesturing to his semi.
"Sure, Roo. Right after we do your laundry," you said with a wink. He just grunted in response before you added, "And make sure you don't go out in those pants. They are indecent!"
----------------------
As soon as you were gone, Bradley thought about jerking off, but he knew he had a limited amount of time before you would be home again. So he quickly put his old sneakers on along with his aviators and traipsed out through the sliding glass door to the backyard. You weren't wrong; it was in pretty rough shape.
Bradley kicked over a faded lawn gnome and opened up the shed. He pulled out some shovels and a rake that the previous owners had left, and he got to work. An hour later, he was shocked to find that there was in fact a garden bed buried back along the privacy fence. He dug up dead plants and weird lawn ornaments, tossing everything off to the side to get taken out with the trash. 
He stopped working for a minute to wipe the sweat from his brow. The sun was strong even for early December, but at least it wasn't too hot outside. And now, as he looked around, Bradley was pleased to see that the whole space looked a lot better. His girlfriend wanted a garden? Well then she would get one.
"Roo?" you called from the sliding glass door. You were grinning and heading his way with a cold water bottle. "What are you doing?"
He took the drink from your hand and downed the entire thing before he answered you. "Making the yard nicer for you. Check it out. A garden bed."
But you weren't really looking at the yard as much as you were looking at him. You wrapped your arms around his sweaty torso and kissed him. "You're so sweet."
He grinned down at you but didn't dare touch, not wanting to get your cute dress all dirty. "We can go to the nursery tomorrow and pick out some flowers if you want. We can plant them...." His word trailed off as you bit your lip and slipped your hand inside the front of his sweatpants. 
"I've been thinking about this since I left for brunch." Your voice was soft and breathless as your fingers teased his length before you wrapped your small hand around his cock. "Been thinking about these gray sweatpants."
Bradley let you ease the fabric down until he was fully exposed. You were licking your lips and moaning softly. He knew exactly what that meant.
"God damn it," he groaned as you dropped to your knees on the grass in front of him. He was standing in the center of the yard, looking around to see if there was any way one of the neighbors could see what was going on. But when you kissed and licked away his precum before parting your lips and taking his tip, he decided he didn't care. 
Bradley reached one big palm to the back of your head and guided you along. You took him a little deeper, looking up at him as your mouth filled up with each inch of him until your lip was brushing his coarse hairs. You gagged a bit, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked on him. "You're such a good girl. I'll give you anything you want."
You moaned around him, your tongue swirling along the underside of his entire length until you pulled him out to the tip. You kissed him sweetly and softly asked, "You know what I want, Roo?"
Bradley shook his head a little bit, dazed as you let his cock rest against your plush tongue. He was panting now and twitching as your hot breath teased his dick. 
"You tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you."
You giggled and smiled up at him with half lidded eyes as your tongue caressed him. You kissed his swollen tip and nuzzled him with your nose before you said, "I want you to fuck me. Right here. In our backyard."
Bradley hauled you to your feet by grabbing your elbows. You squealed with delight, but he hushed you with one hand over your mouth. "I'll give you what you want, but you have to behave. You want our elderly neighbors calling the cops, because they think I'm back here trying to murder you?"
You groaned and licked Bradley's palm, gripping his cock with both hands. "Please, Bradley. Please make it so good that it sounds like that!"
His hand drifted down to your neck, and he led you to the side of the shed, stroking your soft skin as you practically purred for him. His hard dick bounced along, hanging out over his sweatpants as he backed you up against the small building. "Okay."
-----------------------
You were so turned on for him, and you blamed it all on his sweatpants. He had no idea what he was capable of in those things. But without underwear? Bradley Bradshaw should have been illegal. 
And now he had your back pinned against the shed with his huge hand on your neck while he reached into your underwear and started to finger you. 
"Oh," you gasped, admiring the way his aviators were sliding down his nose while you rode his middle finger. The pressure on your throat wasn't enough to hurt, but it was enough to make you feel like you were no longer in charge here. And that feeling excited you. 
Bradley's thumb stroked your clit, and you cried out for him. "Shh, be a good girl," he whispered, kissing your lips one time while his middle finger pressed forward on your most sensitive spot. When you whimpered, he kissed your forehead and said, "Yeah, nice and quiet, Baby Girl. Show me how good you can be."
You kept your little noises as quiet as you could, moving your hips in time with his thumb stroking you. When you were close, Bradley slipped his finger out of you, leaving you whining his name. He spun you to face the shed, yanking your underwear down so the lace brushed along your legs before they hit the ground. You planted both of your palms against the siding as Bradley pulled your dress up to your waist, fully exposing you to any neighbor who could have potentially been a little too nosy. 
"Oh my god," you groaned as Bradley planted his left hand above yours and guided himself inside you with the other. 
"You're so fucking wet." His voice was deep and needy as he fucked you, placing his hand on your pussy. He let you rub yourself against him as he bumped you along with his thrusts. 
"Bradley." The second syllable was much louder than the first, your voice rising in pitch with pleasure. "Fuck!"
"Shh," he scolded once more. "Quiet, or I'll stop."
It was an empty threat, you were sure of it. He must be beyond the point of no return, but just in case, you covered your own mouth with your hand. He had you pinned tight between his pelvis and his palm, grinding against your butt, and holding you in place.
The beautiful friction of his palm had you clenching and cumming as your orgasm washed over you suddenly. "It's so good," you whined, needing both hands on the shed to keep yourself upright. "You're so good, Roo."
The string of obscenities he muttered next to your ear were nowhere near as filthy as his cock slamming into you and filling you with his cum. He used your pussy to drain him of every last drop as you pulsed around him, and when he withdrew, you felt your thighs get coated with his mess.
You spun around to face him, eyes wide. "I can't believe you fucked me in the backyard." Your eyes dipped down to his cock, softening and dripping your mixed ejaculate all over those gray sweatpants. 
He tipped your chin up and looked at you over the top of his aviators. "You tell me you want something, I'm going to give it to you. Especially if it's my cock."
You grinned and kissed him before adjusting his sunglasses. "Let's go inside. We have even more laundry to do now." You tucked him back inside his sweatpants before stepping out of your underwear. "Don't forget those," you said, pointing to the scrap of lace in the grass.
You watched Bradley bend down and pick them up, bringing them up to his nose with a grunt as he followed you inside.
---------------------------
I hope you enjoyed Rooster's gray sweatpants @thedroneranger
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2K notes · View notes
danikamariewrites · 4 months
Text
Heist
Mob!Azriel x reader AU
Note: another day another Mob!Az fic for you all to think about teehee.
Warnings: mentions of violence and blood
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You giggled as Azriel lightly nipped at your cheek, his hand trying to sneak into the bowl of cookie dough. “Az,” you laugh out, smacking his hand away. “You can have some later when the rest of the Boy Scouts show up.”
Azriel rolls his eyes at the nickname. “I’ve told you, we are not Boy Scouts, we are-”
“A highly trained and dangerous group of powerful families that are allied.” You say, mimicking the overused statement. “Yes, yes I know Azzy, geez.” You tease, bumping him with your hip.
Moving from his grasp you bustle around the kitchen grabbing ingredients and plates. Azriel’s kitchen was gorgeous, and criminally under utilized. When you moved in it was all black and white, barely any ingredients or extra appliances.
“Oh this won’t do.” You had told Azriel, demanding you go shopping for every and anything you’d ever need for a kitchen. You gave the place a complete makeover, painting the walls and cabinets a lovely sage green and replacing the countertops. Adding an island and dark wood table and cushions to the breakfast nook the room was complete.
Coming back to stand between Azriel and the island you start scooping out the cookies. “You really don’t have to do this, you know.” You shrug, a generous scoop of dough and chocolate chips falling from your spoon. “I want to. Plus, I never really got to bake since work took up too much time. And your meetings go on forever, you guys absolutely need snacks.”
Leaning down Azriel presses a kiss to the back of your head. “You’re amazing, my love.” He says softly. You lean back into his chest, tilting your head back to stare at his pretty face. Turning, you hold up a finger with dough on it. Azriel’s eyes light up at the treat, licking it from your finger. Pushing up on your toes you peck his lips, murmuring, “I love you.”
Before Azriel could pull you to him and go for a more heated kiss, Rhys walks in, clearing his throat. “They’re here Az.” He nods at his brother, signaling Rhys’s dismissal.
A heavy sigh leaves his nose. Holding your face, Azriel gives you one last kiss. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
An hour later you were balancing a tea tray laden with chocolate chip cookies in your hands. The guard at the door smiles at you, knocking and opening one of the double doors for you. You nod in thanks as you quietly make your way to the occupied half of the table.
It was a small group today. Only Helion, Eris, Kal and their second and third in commands, along with a few other key members of their organizations. Reaching between Helion and Rhysand, you gently place the tray in the middle of the table.
The men looked hesitant to reach for the snack at first, but also didn’t want to be rude. “Thank you, my love.” Azriel says, giving you a small smile from his place at the head of the table. “Of course,” you whisper.
Azriel leads the conversation back to their plans, “Now, we can’t stand for this. The Molina family made us look like fools and trust me gentleman, that will not happen again. This robbery has to be big.” Odd, you thought to yourself, Azriel’s MO isn’t home robberies.
The pictures of the mansion in question spread across the table caught your eye. It’s familiarity had you titling your head, wracking your brain for where you’d seen it before.
then it hit you. The paintings on the wall! You knew them because you delivered them! Your lips parted slightly in surprise at your memory.
You felt Helion’s attention on you as he asked, “What’s wrong?” Your eyes snap to his deep brown ones, cheeks tinting red in embarrassment. Azriel takes his tone as rude but you brush it off, knowing he’s just curious about what you’re seeing.
You look to Azriel, not knowing if you have the right to give your input in a meeting. You didn’t want to make Azriel seem less in charge or something.
Azriel gives you a soft, encouraging look. “Go ahead, y/n. Tell us what you see.” You nod at him, dragging the picture of the paintings toward you. “These paintings are fakes.” A confusion spreads over the room as a few huh’s sound around the table.
“My boss got his hands on the real ones somehow, these are like rare pieces, hell museums would kill for these. Before he sold them I honestly thought they were in the Louvre. But he sold them to Molina Jr. who also requested fakes to display, since he bragged so much about buying them. They aren’t very good fakes if you ask me though.”
Helion brought the image closer to his face, attempting his untrained eye to see the falsity of the paintings. Kal snatched it from him, giving him a you-don’t-know-shit-about-art look.
Conversation bubbles around Azriel but all he can focus on is you. You and your beautiful, passionate, intelligent mind.
“Where would he keep the real ones?” Eris asks, breaking up the conversations and Azriel’s concentration on you. Though that didn’t last long. As soon as you opened your mouth Azriel was laser focused on you.
You give Eris a knowing smirk, “His vault, where I helped deliver the paintings.” Cassian and Kal let out laughs or triumph as the others gave you approving looks. Rhysand unrolls the blueprints to the mansion in front of you. “Alright y/n, point us in the right direction.”
Two hours later the heist was planned perfectly thanks to you. You waited in Azriel’s office as he bid his guests goodbye. Kicked back, sitting in his kingly leather chair, your feet propped up on the desk.
Hearing the door click shut you perk up. Azriel grins, strutting over to you. Crossing his arms he leans against the desk in front of you. “I don’t think I could’ve planned that without you.” You shrug at the praise. “Eh, you would’ve gotten by.”
Azriel nudges your feet off the polished wood, chuckling at you. Lifting you up and pulling you into his lap you immediately lean against his chest, playing with the buttons on his shirt.
“You’re too modest, my love. Everyone was telling me how brilliant you are.” You giggle, burying your face deeper into Azriel’s chest at the compliment. Hooking his fingers under your chin, Az tilts your face up to meet his shimmering hazel gaze.
“My clever girl.” He hums, pressing his lips to yours. You slip your arms around his neck pulling him closer. Azriel stands, gently placing you on his desk. He nudges your thighs apart to stand between your legs, deepening the kiss. “I think you deserve a reward,” his voice had taken on a deep and seductive tone. That smirk promises a very pleasurable reward. Tugging on Azriel’s dark locks he pulls away from you, dropping to his knees.
——
Tonight is the big heist. When Azriel had kissed you goodbye you plastered a convincing smile on your face, trying to ignore your heart pounding so hard against your chest you thought it was trying to escape.
You were always nervous when Azriel went out with his men for a job. Pacing the TV room, more like a theater, you dug your toes into the carpet to focus on something other than Azriel. You had lots to keep you distracted like a book, your favorite show cued up, your phone. However, moving around was a necessity right this very second.
The first time Azriel went on a job after you moved in was a disaster. You had a panic attack so bad not even Baxian, your bodyguard, could calm you down. Baxian was on the verge of calling Azriel as he walked through the front door. It made him contemplate never leaving you again.
You still can’t decide if you’d rather Az not tell you and just be blissfully ignorant. Or if you would still worry if he was out until all hours of the night. You’d probably still worry but worse.
In the silence you paused at any creaking or popping that sounded in the house. About to settle on the couch to pick an activity, the unmistakable sound of the front door opening.
Staring at the doorway to the TV room you held your breath. You didn’t want to see Azriel if he was hurt. You didn’t think you could stomach the sight of his blood.
Footsteps grew louder and louder until Azriel was staring at you. He was unscathed. Safe. And home.
You let out a cry of relief, running into his open arms. Azriel pulls you flush to his body, tucking your head under his chin. You revel in his warm touch. A smile spreads across your lips at having him back home.
Pulling away, you stare up into his tired eyes. “Everything went ok?” You ask softly. Azriel nods, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “It went perfectly, all thanks to you my love.” He says, exhaustion lacing his voice.
“Come on you,” you squeeze him around the middle. “Let’s get you to bed, baby.” You move to his side, pulling him along. “Sounds perfect, my love.”
Tucking into bed you couldn’t shake this feeling in the pit of your stomach. Watching Az sleep peacefully you snuggle into his side, holding on to him. Just in case.
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tryingtograspctrl · 1 month
Text
LIFT ME UP: KLAUS HARGREEVES X BLACK PLUS SIZE READER
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SUMMARY: When everyone else had given up on him you were there, always willing to pick up the pieces and put him back together again, no matter how many times he fell apart.
Warning: Mentions of drug use, mentions of abuse and trauma, mentions of withdrawal. 18+ only, read at your own risk. Minors DO NOT INTERACT!
Note: Season 1 & 3 Klaus. Also the relationship between him and the reader is completely platonic.
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Flashback
You wiped your hands off on your apron, grabbing the empty cardboard boxes and tin cans, heading out the backdoor toward the dumpster.
"Ouch!" A voice yelped from inside as you threw the trash into the bin.
"Oh my god is someone in there?" You stood on your tippy toes peeking inside.
"Don't mind me just fetching dinner." A man popped his head out.
"Well you don't have to dig through the trash for scraps, come inside and i'll cook you a meal, on the house." You gave him a gentle smile extending your hand for him to take.
His eyes lit up and he gladly accepted it, jumping out of the dumpster with your assistance and dusting off his skirt.
"What's your name?" You looked back at him now getting a good look at his face and attire.
He had a head full of messy brown hair, black eyeliner smudged around his light green eyes and he wore a black leather jacket with no shirt underneath, definitely not an appropriate outfit for the cold rainy weather outside.
"Klaus, yours?" He asked walking over to the island inside the small dinner, plopping down on one of the stools.
"Y/n." You answered as you whisked a bowl of eggs.
"Wanna tell me why you're dumpster diving for food?" You quirked a brow sliding him his plate and a fork.
"Long story dear, wouldn't want to bore you." He waved a hand dismissively, stuffing his mouth with pancakes.
"I've got all day." You shrugged.
He went into detail about his odd family dynamic, his experience with his powers and training growing up and how we dealt with it in his adulthood, using every drug under the sun to quiet the spirits, bouncing in and out of rehab.
“You got a place to sleep tonight?” You asked.
“Not any that i can think of at the moment but i’m sure there’s a nice cardboard box in a dark alley calling my name, though i usually prefer a tent, extra coverage and all you know.” He sighed popping a piece of bacon in his mouth.
“Stay with me.” You offered.
“What?” He sat up straight.
“Stay with me, i have a pullout couch in my living room, you can sleep there.” You insisted.
He smiled brightly planting a wet kiss on your cheek.
You had gotten used to him coming and going, that’s just how Klaus was, he could never sit still. Every other week he’d stumbled into your apartment either high out of his mind or suffering from withdrawals, whichever condition he was in you did your best to come to his aid, patching up his bumps and bruises, making sure he was well fed, dressing him in clean clothes to wear before he vanished again.
Dealing with an addict was no walk in the park, it was exhausting, emotionally draining, a roller coaster of emotions actually but you did your best to be patient with him. He had dealt with a lot in his childhood, he still dealt with a lot and you didn’t want to give up on him, you couldn’t. You’d grown to care for him a lot over the past few months and you’d never be able to live with yourself if something happened to him, no matter how stubborn he could be, no matter how reckless the decisions he made were you’d never turn you back on him and you made sure that he knew he always had a home to come back to as long as you were around.
One night the sound of glass shattering made you jolt awake.
You stumbled to the kitchen, still half asleep, eyes adjusting to the bright lights.
Klaus was on the floor with his knees pulled to his chest, sobbing and rocking back and forth, attempting to self soothe.
You stepped over the glass shards, crouching down in front of him and pulling him to his feet.
You led him to the couch, laying him down and sitting beside him.
“I’m sorry i- i just wanted something to drink.” He spoke between sobs, resting his head on your lap.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright. I’ll clean up the mess and get you something to drink okay?” You whispered.
He nodded his head, sitting up so you could go to the kitchen.
You quickly discarded the broken glass and grabbed a new cup, pouring him some cold water.
He chugged it, placing the empty cup on the coffee table and snuggling into your side, face buried in your plush stomach.
“Are they loud?” You asked petting his hair.
You knew how unbearable the spirits could be, their shouting overwhelming his senses.
“Yes, always.” He sniffled.
“Try to focus on the sound of my voice. I’ll do my best to help you drown them out.” You grabbed his chin lifting his face, wiping a few stray tears.
You began singing an old lullaby that your grandmother used to sing to you when you were little, it knocked you out cold every single time.
You felt Klaus relax against you, sighing in relief as your voice filled his ears. You were no Beyonce but you helped soothe him nonetheless.
You kissed the top of his head as he drifted off to sleep, draping a blanket over the two of you.
That was the last time you saw him.
Present
Klaus sighed in relief as he stood in front of hotel oblivion, after what felt like years of turmoil in the 60s they were finally back to the future (pun intended), and he couldn’t be happier.
He leaned against the bar, sipping his whisky as his siblings bickered with each other, only half listening.
His mind kept drifting to you, someone he missed most while he was stuck in the 60’s.
All those nights you held him close, cradled him like a newborn baby as he broke down on your couch.
All those times you looked into alternatives to drugs to help him quiet the spirits, suggesting meditation or yoga, something relaxing to help him focus in order to make them go away whenever he pleased, turn them on and off like a light switch.
Whenever he hit rock bottom you didn’t hesitate to pick him up, to catch him when he fell.
He knew he had to find you.
“Hey where are you going? Now’s not the time to be splitting up Klaus!” Allison called after him.
He ignored her, mentally mapping out the way to your apartment.
“Let him be.” Vicktor grabbed her wrist just before she could chase him.
She deflated downing the rest of her drink.
Klaus stood across the street from your apartment building taking deep breaths, he laughed at his own anxiety. Was he really that nervous to face you again?
His eyes drifted to a girl walking down the sidewalk, arms full of grocery bags.
His breath caught in his throat as he studied her facial features.
It was you.
He practically sprinted across the street placing a hand on your shoulder once he reached you.
“AHH I DONT HAVE ANY MONEY.” You shouted dropping a few bags as you whipped around.
“Klaus?” Your eyes widened in surprise.
“In the fle- oh!” The wind was knocked out of him as you smothered him in a hug.
“You’re here, you’re alive.” You held his face in your hands, tears brimming your eyes.
“I’m alive.” He chuckled relaxing in your hold.
He helped you gather up your groceries, taking them upstairs to your apartment.
You insisted that he stay for dinner, chatting and catching up as you prepped the food.
“You started a cult?” You stared at him in disbelief.
“It was the 60s babe, everyone did.” He shrugged.
You snorted tossing the onions into the searing hot pan.
You stirred them around with your spoon, pausing for a moment.
“You look better… healthy. I’m glad.” You turned, smiling softly at him.
“Me too, me too.” He smiled as well.
For a moment he forgot all his worries, forgot about the events of the 60s, forgot about the sparrows, the apocalypse, everything. He was content with watching the world burn as long as he was here, with you, his solace.
A/N - I feel like i’ve been writing so much smut lately and i really wanted a change of pace, i’ve also been planning on expanding my master list and writing for some other fandoms im apart of. I absolutely adore Klaus and i really enjoyed writing this. Since Steve Blackman didn’t give his character the love and support he so desperately needed and deserved i will. This has not been proofread so please excuse any mistakes, i will fix them later. I hope you guys like this! 🌻
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leclsrc · 1 year
Note
could i get a carlos imagine where you have commitment issues and he calms you down? as a girlie with commitment/trust issues i just wanna b repped in one of ur fics/drabbles :/// it's tuff out here brotha
bring you home — cs55
Moving in together gets difficult. Carlos is there to ease you along. title from this
genre: fluff
auds here... i hope you enjoy this!!! i too am a commitment-afflicted girl ..... it truly is tough lol. but i hope u find the right person who helps u put ur anxieties to rest <3 insp by a scene from satc i saw on tiktok
It started with a duck. But the duck started with the box. And the box started with a toothbrush joke. And the toothbrush joke started with your old lady neighbor moving out. So really, it started with Mrs. McDonnell and her massive moving van rolling down the street and leaving the flat next door empty. Somehow that old hag had managed to irritate you long after she left, albeit through means not her own.
In terms of time, it started a month ago. In terms of people (sans the old bitch), it started with Carlos, as so many of your stories do. “Mrs. McDonald finally moved out today,” he’d said, hip against your stove, watching bits of garlic turn from pale to brown. From the living room you hummed affirmation and then laughed: “McDonnell.”
“Donald, Donnell, Dinero,” he rolled his eyes. “Everyone’s moving in and out. Charles bought a new place in Monaco.”
“Well,” you shrugged, fixing the ridden-up hem of your tank top, “you could have an extra toothbrush in here, if that gets y’there.”
He laughed, pointing at you with the oil-hot rubber tip of the spatula. You two had been dating for over a year at that point, yet any suggestions of moving in together remained vague, cloudish ideas in both of your heads. For him it was impractical; for you it was a little scary.
But a toothbrush, which he always had at your flat and you at his, wasn’t moving in together. Neither was a drawer of clothes and knick-knacks. It was a symbol of your busy lives and the intermittent intersections far and few between.
Except they’d been becoming less intermittent and a lot more constant. He was almost always at your flat, the wide two-bedroom you’d decided was a good place to live with your income and the area. You had two parking spaces, a good rep with the board, and a coffee shop across the street—a place all your own.
A little plus was you had Carlos on some free days, like that day—that fateful day he turned back to the pan and said, with a smile: “I should move in.”
You froze. “You’re asking—you’re telling me or the garlic?” In fits of nerves, you could only blurt out bad jokes.
He laughed but it was a small exhale of breath. “I’m serious.” He turned to you, brown eyes big.
Your heart swelled with something between apprehension and absolute excitement, that finally you were going to take a step you felt like you’d been waiting to take forever. “You are?” You asked, so giddily you could hear your own smile.
The truth was, you had moved in with a boyfriend before, offered him a key and suggested the entire affair, bought fresh flowers and cooked eggs and made coffee and lived the bliss you only read about in romance novels. Months later you caught him fucking somebody else in your bedroom, and years later the memory fails to purge itself from your mind or your habits, plaguing every inner thought you have.
But this, you assure yourself, is Carlos.
“Dead seriou—uuooof!” Carlos barely got to the end of his sentence, with the way you barrelled into him, smiling into the blocky build of his chest and muttering a repetitive yes yes yes into the cotton of his tee. He held you there, pressing a kiss to your hair and promising he’d be in with his boxes as soon as time made way.
“Make way,” you yell into the tiny gap between your door and its frame.
“Hey, hi, hello,” your boyfriend sing-songs. “How are you?”
In the month you’d spent watching your boyfriend move into your flat, you’d also been subjected to your complete lack of personal space. Every time you entered, he’d be there talking his head off. Every time you came home at night, he’d be there. You felt suffocated. Scared, even if you couldn’t sleep at night without some part of you touching him. You’re simply a human with needs, and you needed space. You needed silence. Needed it. Absolutely needed it. You knew this because every time you opened your own door, it collided with a—
“Box.” You shove yourself through the gap and wedge the door closed, pointing an accusatory finger at the cardboard. “Another box by the door. Don’t make me burn those,” you mutter, fussing with your hair and toeing off your Blahniks. Across the foyer, Carlos is nailing something into the wall, noisy and incessant and you want to shrink into the floor.
“Sorry, sorry. Lo siento. I have so many stuff.”
“Yeah! You do. My flat’s only nay fucking big,” you respond, raising your pointer finger and thumb to exaggerate the size of your (in actuality, wide) living space. “Carlos, couldn’t you unpack some of these? Just some. It’s—you know, it’s piling up. And you know I hate mess.”
“I know, baby. I will as soon as I finish this up. I promise.”
You nod once, sighing and moving into the study to gather your laptop for work. You’re halfway into the room, eyes scanning your desk’s surface and finding your Mac laying flat atop it, unassuming next to a figurine of a wooden duck. You pause and blink. The wooden duck does not, its eyes painted wide and smooth and you definitely did not purchase this duck.
Somehow, this is the straw that breaks your back.
“What is this duck doing here?!” You yell, voice loud even from the study into the foyer. Carlos pulls off the goggles he’d been wearing to drill shit into your wall and smiles. A gift from me.
“A gif—I, I, I don’t like ducks.” You flail your arms around. “I just… hearing you talk or drill as soon as I come into my own home feels weird. For so long I’ve been alone and… and I’m supposed to hear silence and I—I’m scared that you’re going to figure out how scared I am and you’re going to leave me.”
He just stares, eyebrows knitted. You smother a hand over your face. You pause and breathe for a minute, then two.
“It’s just—I’ve only lived with someone three months, and that was ages ago, and before that it was my parents, so. I’m going to be really frank with you and I’m sorry if this sounds… but I’m gonna close the bedroom door and I don’t want you to talk to me for thirty minutes. I need space. And keep the duck first. I’m sorry. Is that selfish? Is that okay?” When he shakes his head and then nods, you deposit it into his arms and back up into your room.
His face, torn between concerned and endeared, softens into an understanding, patient smile. Okay, he mouths. I love you, you mouth back, and then you’re shutting it softly, leaning your forehead against the white wood and letting a long exhale leave your lips. You half-expected him to fight you back, to raise his voice, but it’s your own worst expectations weighing down on you all over again, born out of memories of your ex.
You stay like that for a while, and slowly with the quiet you realize—you find the duck cute.
You like the boxes because they remind you this is becoming a home. You like hearing him talk because it means you know he’s there. (The drilling will always be irritating, but he makes it better.) You don’t dislike anything he does, but you’re not totally lying either: you are scared. Scared of the commitment it’d take to make this a sure thing. The commitment you’d given before and the commitment that’d been betrayed.
But this is Carlos. This is Carlos, who’s understood every part of you, who’s given you time and patience even when you didn’t know how much you needed it. The Carlos who knows how you like your toast, who eats the yolk off your sunny-side eggs and gives you the white of his hard-boiled ones. The Carlos who said I love you first, surprising you into shock, and then took it back in embarrassment before you cut him off with a kiss. The Carlos who stays.
The air clears and you breathe easier. You open the door after five minutes. “You okay?”
He’s unpacking a box. He turns and smiles wryly, mimicking a zip motion across his lips. He shakes his head. No talking, remember?
You pout, smiling. “Sorry if I’m neurotic.”
You pad softly toward him and it’s easy, too easy for him to pick you up into his arms, wrap your legs around his waist, stay standing and hugging you. He’s quiet still, patient, warm. “I like hearing you talk. I like your boxes. I like that you’re mine and we’re here.” You inhale. “‘M just scared. And I don’t… want to be, but I am, and… it’s just me. I’m crazy.”
“Hey, Crazy. So am I. Take your time.” He hugs you tighter. “I’m not gonna leave you, even if you hated the duck.” I didn’t, you say quietly. It was cute. “I know it’s hard, baby. I know. You have to let me take care of you. You have me, okay? You have me.”
“And when you’re not here?” Fear slithers up and tries to tug at you but his arms are around you, secure and holding you there, so you don’t let it.
The thing with needs, really, is when they’re met—met in the best, most understanding way, especially…
He kisses your neck. “I’ll always be.”
…You find you no longer need them at all.
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suuuupernovaaa · 2 years
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nìmal
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nìmal [nɪ.ˈmal] adv. trustingly, without hesitation
Anonymous Request: Can we have one where Neteyam and Omaticayan reader love each other very much. But a guy likes the reader and tries to break them up by making neteyam think that the reader is cheating on him. He gets really angry and accuses the reader of cheating. Like there's a big fight. But later he learns the truth and tries to make it up to her and she doesn't make it easy on him.
Neteyam believes a rumor about you, and when he finds out the truth, you're reluctant to forgive him for his bad behavior.
932 words
Your bag is so full of fish that you aren't sure you're going to be able to carry it back home, but you can't stop.
Throwing the spear, hearing that satisfying thwack when it connects, getting to put your body to use, it's easing some of the tension you're carrying.
"Idiot!" you exclaim, though whether you're directing that at the fish or not, is unclear.
How could Neteyam believe you would even consider betraying him? Have you not been loyal to him, promised to him, in love with him completely? Does he know so little of your character that he is willing to believe you would give your body to another - to someone you are not mated to?
Just the thought of it disgusts you. His confrontation yesterday has left a sour taste in your mouth, and you feel so angry and hurt, you don't know how to release these emotions.
Kiri assured you she would fix it, but it's been an entire day, and you haven't seen Neteyam. Plus, you aren't sure if she can fix it - even when Neteyam realizes he was wrong, some damage has been done.
You catch another fish, add it to your bag, and decide to head home. This isn't helping anything.
Neteyam arrives just as you try to hoist the bag over your shoulder, and you freeze when you see him.
--
He watches her from behind the trees for a while, listening to her cursing at the fish she's killing, knowing she's picturing him in their place.
He winces with every kill.
He deserves it. He will curse himself until the day he dies for what he's done.
It's hard to explain it, even to himself. He just hopes she'll listen.
The glare she gives him when he approaches is almost lethal. "Can I carry this for you?" he asks, and the bag thuds to the ground again.
"No," she replies, spitting venom through her perfect teeth.
"Okay... can I explain myself?" He lifts his hands up, palm out, surrendering to her.
Not only is Y/N beautiful, but she is lethal. Most of the Omaticayan women are fierce, but something about Y/N gives her an extra edge. She is quiet, thoughtful, and dangerous. He's almost a little scared, which is part of why he's always been so attracted to her.
"You can apologize," she replies, standing straight, arms crossed over her chest, waiting.
"I am sorry, Y/N. Not only did Marek confess to me what... he said happened, but many confirmed it. It seems, you made some enemies, and one um, admirer. They were all too willing to confirm his story for him."
"None of that should have convinced you, Neteyam," she replied, so evenly and calmly that a chill ran up his spine. "You should have trusted me. You should have trusted how I feel about you."
"But you, Y/N," he rubbed his forehead. "You almost never tell me how you feel about me. You're very hard to read."
Her back stiffened, and her mouth opened a little as if to speak, and then closed again.
"Oh..."
--
That wasn't at all what I had expected Neteyam to say.
Though I felt very sure of my love for him - had I not done a good enough job ensuring he was sure of it, as well?
I tried to think... how many times had I told him I loved him? Not very many. But, how many times was I supposed to? Did he have a greater need to hear it than I realized?
"Still," I replied, still processing. "You wouldn't even listen to me, Neteyam."
He stepped forward. "That was wrong. I was wrong, and I should not have doubted you. It will never happen again."
You felt crushed by the look on his face. You tried to put yourself in his place; if he was feeling unsure of your affections, and so many people were lying to him, maybe it was easy to be confused?
"I would never want to be with any man, besides you," you said finally.
Neteyam stepped a little closer still, tentatively.
"I want to be your mate, Neteyam. It is all I have ever wanted. I am angry at you, very, very angry... but I see maybe I haven't made how I feel clear, to you. It all get stuck, up here." You point to your head, and you see Neteyam's expression relax.
He reaches out and takes your hand, and you allow him to pull you close.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I trust you fully, and I will never doubt you again."
"I will... I will tell you how much I feel for you every day, if it helps."
He smiles, and squeezes your hand. "You don't have to say it every day... if you don't want to."
You reach out, running your fingers from his temple to his chin.
"I could show you, instead."
His brow perks up, and his smile grows.
"Yes, that could be good."
You lean in, pressing your lips gently to his, and he takes your face gently into his hands, and then wraps his arms around you as the kiss deepens.
When you pull apart, you are both breathless and smiling.
You bend down, picking up the bag of fish, and thrust it into his arms.
"You may carry this, and then consider yourself forgiven."
He bows under the weight of it, but dutifully carries it the long walk home for you.
Neteyam never doubts you again, and you show him just how much you love him every day.
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deoidesign · 4 months
Text
Happy webcomics day!!!
I'm not home (on a trip right now with family), but I still want to talk a little bit about my process, so I did what I could to find some wip shots 🧡
Plus, I'd also like to update my extremely patient readers with a little taste of what's to come!!!
Step one, of course, is writing.
When I'm writing I have four documents open. A "dump" document, a "yes this!" Document, an outline document, and a drawing canvas!
In the dump document, I put ANYTHING. complete stream of consciousness. The 'yes this' document is where I put anything useful from the dump document, and the outline is, of course, the outline. The drawing canvas is for me to sketch out problems and ideas and get sort of a different angle on things, since I can't really visualize.
Once I have a book completely written, I start thumbnailing!
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My thumbnails pretty much look like this. Text, sketchy poses, indications of expression and maybe environment...
I thumbnail the entire book at once. I don't let myself do any edits on it until it's done, but I take note of edits I'd like to make! Then, once the first draft is out, I edit.
I'll move entire scenes, delete whole episodes, bring in bits from the end to have proper foreshadowing... Etc! It's a long process that makes my arcs feel much more complete and something I can be really proud of.
I can only do this when I'm really ahead, though, so that's why I've been on a long hiatus!!! I was forced to work without my process for a few arcs, and the difference is so huge to me that I refuse to let myself do it again. It makes a loner hiatus, but work way more worth waiting for!
Next step is lineart!
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Yes, I skip sketches! I go right into lines.
I save every head I've ever drawn, and that lets me copy paste in a basic head angle. Then I redo the face, fix up the hair, etc. so it fits my panel, and then I draw the rest of the body!
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This seriously saves me so much time, but less so for the drawing (i still draw a ton of heads and I'm very fast) and more just for helping me skip sketching entirely!
Then I do character flats, which since all my lines are closed that goes pretty quickly (slowest part is Steve's hair, I refuse to use a brush cause every one I've made looks terrible!!!)
And then I draw the backgrounds!
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Which, I keep layered, clean, and HUGE so I can use them throughout the arc.
I used to feel bad doing this, but then I realized... It's not like backgrounds "change" irl. So why make them change in my comics...? It saves me so much time, but it ALSO lets me put in more detail per background! I draw probably 3 very large backgrounds per episode like this, and then I draw maybe 5-10 unique backgrounds for single panels per episode as well. I save these too, but they're rarely re-used.
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And then my panels are done!!!
So there's a bit of my process for you all!!!
Happy webcomics day 🧡🧡🧡
And here's my comic, if you haven't read it and want to see the end result of this process, or if you have read it and would enjoy a re-read with the extra knowledge:
Or, if you would prefer books I have those too!
Happy to elaborate on any step, as well!
I make comics extremely quickly and as my full time job, and my process allows me to easily manipulate my format as well. I'm happy to share any of my knowledge if you have questions!!!
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lively-potter · 8 months
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— nepenthe ; jjk
@lively-potter
— synopsis ;
in which solaris celeste vesper, a sad girl with an unfortunate upbringing meets a man far older than her and, within his presence, her sorrow fades into nothingness.
Also in which jeon jungkook finds the sun he so desperately needed in his life.
— genre ; age gap, they both fall but he falls harder in the beginning, angst, fluff, guaranteed HEA, CEO jungkook, mafia/gang vibes ( kinda/sorta )
— disclaimer ;
2024 © @LivelyPotter
All Rights Reserved
You may not reproduce,
distribute/and or adapt
any part of this work
without my permission
I only own my original characters and the plot.
— warnings ;
violence, blood / gore, descriptive abuse, mature language, mature themes, fluff, angst, age gap. the MFC has been sheltered her entire life — and due to that, keep in mind she will have a slight childlike innocence. She cries a lot in the beginning ( and if you went though all the shit she did, you would too, as I won’t hear any complaints )
— playlist ;
— greedy ; tate mcrae
— yes or no ; jungkook
— closer to you ; jungkook
— somebody ; jungkook
— hate you ; jungkook
— lost ; BTS
— my time ; jungkook
— serendipity ; jimin
— stigma ; taehyung
— MAMA ; j-hope
— please don't change ; jungkook
— fever ; enhyphen
— spring day ; BTS
— love me again ; v
— mmmh ; kai
— after like ; Ive
— blood sweat & tears ; BTS
— lilac ; iu
— extra info ;
started ; January 19th, 2023
posted ; January 21st, 2023 ( on Wattpad )
completed ;
edited / revised ;
— extra info for those not familiar with the academy series by c.l. stone ;
I know I'm gaining more readers, those who aren't familiar with the academy, so I'll do a short explanation of what you'll be seeing from the academy!
In short, the academy series is a reverse harem/polyamory series set in Charleston, South Carolina.
( so you'll be seeing multiple men date the same women in this book, so don't be shocked lmfaoo ) most of this won’t happen until we are well into the story — but I’d hate to confuse all of you! I’d like every single one of you to enjoy and understand the story completely!
The academy ( that MFC won't be much involved or at all ) is basically a top secret organization that specializes in helping men, women, and children who are in an abusive relationship or homes and help them get out of that — most join the academy to help others in the same situations.
There are teams that work together and are basically a family in all but blood; and "family is a choice".
The men in teams are referred to as "dogs" and the female team members are referred to as "birds".
'Ghosts', whether birds or dogs, are children without much history to their names. They are priceless to the Academy.
The Academy's system works on a series of favor and financial debt. Everyone in the Academy starts out with financial debt. It's the value of the education an Academy student requires to become the best at what he does. If it was a private investigation training class or an eight-week boot camp, or you were starving and needed groceries to get through a human biology class, the Academy took care of it. Your debt can't just be paid off directly, it requires completing various Academy missions. Whatever it is, there is a price tag.
Favors though are the real core of the Academy. Favors are anything that doesn't have a price - usually family problems within the Academy that other members can't handle alone. New members owe ten favors immediately, with the maximum owed being thirty. The value of a task in favors varies depending on the task.
All Academy trials are comprised of the same parties: the whole team, plus five randomly selected members from other teams, presided over by a manager who has collected all the data. There is no age minimum for the randomly selected members, the only requirement is that they had to be past initiation and a full member of the Academy. The ultimate goal at a trial is to keep the family together as much as possible.
Each team has two leads. The first is the main contact for the Academy, they track the jobs the members go on, and let them know what jobs are available. The second is the family lead, who keeps track of all the team members, and makes sure that everything runs smoothly for them - ensuring they have food, bills are paid on time, and everyone that needs a job has one.
Most of this information is from the academy wiki site ( 'cause it's fuckin' complicated to explain it all )
but I want you all to be able to understand it enough to enjoy the story without being confused!
Most of the time, I'll explain through River and my other characters.
I hope this makes sense!
River won't be very involved in the academy, but there will be mentions and most of River's story revolves around, not only Jungkook and Moon, but River's brothers, friends, and family!
Please let me know if there is anything that you'll misunderstand and I'll explain to the best of my ability!
✨ HAPPY READING ✨
— find me on Wattpad at @/LivelyPotter! The first two chapters of Nepenthe are already out!
Also, do any of you mind giving me some pointers on how to post more aesthetic chapters or a master list on here?? I’m so lost and new to this app! 😂😂😭
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figgrrr0 · 2 years
Note
Hey hey Im back again!! I hope youre still open for accepting headcanon requests <33 this time i wanna req What is it like for Heizou, Xiao and venti (seperate) to date a fem!reader who is taller than them? (Nsfw or sfw is fine!)
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Their girlfriend is taller than them
Characters: Heizou, Xiao, Venti // Reader: Female
Genre: Smut, only fluff for Xiao // CWs next to the corresponding character
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Heizou
Cw: Body worship, height difference, mentioned high heels
• Would forget how tall you are until he walks up to you and is eye level with your chest. This would happen almost every single time. It doesn't even matter if you've got any skin showing, just the realisation of how tall you are compared to him will make him temporarily short-circuit. Heizou would lose all the confidence he'd strode up with, mentally criticising himself for forgetting, when, one: you're literally his girlfriend; he sees you every day! How could he forget? And two: it's his job to file away information about people and be able to recall it all in a moment's notice! The only way to stop him from kicking himself for this, is to bring his attention back to you. Now, this could very easily be done just by laughing a little at the annoyed expression on his face, but some good old physical touch will do the job even better. Though, this will also restore his boldness, so watch out, cause Heizou has a full arsenal of tactics to turn the nervousness back onto you.
• Because of how easy to reach they are, Heizou would be worshipping your breasts daily. I mean, they're the perfect height for him to just smush his face into. Not only that, I think he'd have a thing for just your overall height. Some of your limbs are obviously going to be longer than his own (arms, legs, torso, etc.), and the difference is going to be so interesting to him, plus its extra space for him to kiss and explore. Bonus points if you ever wear high heels. I really can't figure out why but I just think that Heizou would have a thing for height differences to his own disadvantage, but at the same time that'd just make him want to try and keep the control even more. It'd give him a pleasurable power trip.
Xiao:
Cw: Slight strength kink? Maybe a little, apart from that it's just fluff. Cuddling, clothes stealing.
• Your height would be oddly comforting to Xiao. He'd feel safer in your presence than most others, but he loves how easy it is for you to completely wrap yourself around his body when you're cuddling up together (I am a firm believer that Xiao is a little spoon. Fight me). Your arms and legs would be able to trap him, and though he isn't used to the touch, even just the thought of leaving to go and fulfill his duties isn't as appealing as feeling your body caging him in. But, what's even better, is that, despite how strong he is thanks to his powers as a yaksha, there's a possibility that if you were to lock your arms and legs together around him, he might find it harder to escape than expected... he's almost tempted to try it out one of these days.
• Oh, your clothes are big enough to fit him? Too big? Yeah, you're coming home to Xiao absolutely drowning in your sweaters. They're comfy, warm, and they remind him of you. Could he possibly get any cuter?! Probably, but he's feeling a little too shy at being caught stealing your clothes. He'd try making up an excuse, and a very poor one at that, but please don't let him take it off. After that first day, you likely won't see him wearing your clothes for about a month after that; but gradually, it just becomes something that you come home to more often than not, to the point that if he's not wearing some article of your clothing, you'll start to get worried that he's upset with you, as rare as that would be.
Venti:
• We all know that Venti would use any and all excuses that he could find to slip his hands under your clothes, shamelessly groping whatever skin his fingers can touch; usually your thighs or boobs, but even just feeling the heat from your stomach is fine (except for the fact that he always does it when his hands are extremely cold...). Unfortunately for you, this is usually just a ploy for him to be able to tickle you once you let your guard down. Being taller than him just gives him easier access, how is he supposed to resist?! And, he won't even need to use as strong of a gust of wind to see up your skirt... your height is doing half of the work already!
Cw: Groping, role reversal, implied cross-dressing
• He would be an absolute menace. Suddenly, every single item that he needs is too high up for him to reach... I wonder how that happened? Oh well, who cares? Cause now he needs your help to get it down! He likes playing up how much stronger your stature would imply that you are compared to him (even though he is a literal archon...). He's not-so-secretly turned on by the role reversal, since the guy in a relationship is most commonly the taller. But, you being taller than him and being able to help him with everything so easily is a one way ticket to unlocking his brattiness and laziness all mixed together. And, if you go along with his little games long enough? Well. I think it could potentially escalate to Venti trying on some skirts for you and making the role reversal even more prominent...
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