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bytheanchorarchived · 7 years ago

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headcanons compilation ↬ isabelle lightwood

a compilation of my scattered/posted (so far) isabelle lightwood headcanons. i will be updating this as i post more.

drabble: isabelle, post dust and shadows

vampire academy au

izzy and polyamorous relationships

izzy and knowledge of yin fen

izzy/alec and demon possession and yin fen addiction

jace didn’t always have perfect control over his extra strength, specially since he was used to training only with valentine, who was an adult at the time, which evened the field. when he first started training with alec and izzy he sometimes went too hard on them. izzy complained but alec never did, and would if needed hide any markings left, because he didn’t want jace to feel bad about it, and because he wasn’t about to admit he couldn’t take it from a kid almost two years younger than himself.

you guys know what i know, right? aldertree never had any intentions to see the magnus and izzy saving alec happen any other way. he left one, one shadowhunter to watch over them, and probably even told raj to let them amuse themselves for a few moments then kick magnus out. he knew exactly what he was doing. he wanted them to do something desperate and illegal, so he’d gain leverage and isabelle would have no choice but make a deal with him to sacrifice jace. they did exactly what he wanted them to do.

do you ever cry because isabelle dreamed of meeting the iron sisters her entire life, and because aldertree decided he wanted to toy with her, she got rejected by her heroes and the people she grew up admiring and learning about.

headcanon hour, because i wanted this pinpointed. is@belle feels abandoned by j@ce and @lec’s willingness to kill themselves. it makes her feel like she’s not enough for them to live for, but more importantly, that they weren’t thinking about her at all, or even remembered her, or thought about her, while throwing their lives away. she rationally understands their bond, but it still stings and hurts to feel that she’s not enough for them.

sometimes I just think about the fact that everyone sees isabelle as a goddess and she thinks she’s brute, too tall and not feminine enough.

okay but let’s talk about is@belle in seb@stian’s sweater? that is such a fleeting scene but so IMPORTANT. 1zzy always felt big, too tall, thick, not feminine or delicate enough. she envies cl@ry for her small build several times. i bet she never had any boyfriend big enough that she could fit into his sweater like that, and wear it as a dress (even in the show meli0rn and r@phael, namely are both her height). so the fact she actually wears it and in the open, in front of him, means she feels confident in it, and probably comfortable and very, very nice. might have been the first time she felt small and delicate like she always wanted to.

never forget if you fuck with her brothers, is@belle lightw00d will fucking tear your hand off.

in case you were wondering, yes, my is@belle’s first kiss was also with j@ce.

always remember is@belle lightw00d with no special blood could keep up with j@ce on the mat growing up, and could stand up to seb@stian and save j@ce’s life when no one had been able to as much as graze his skin until then.

imagine what she’d do if she DID have demon/angel blood.

is@belle once tells cl@ry she wondered if v@lentine had broken j@ce in some irreparable way and he’d never be able to fall in love. that is not by chance, however, and she, herself, after so many years of making sure she wouldn’t feel anything for any man, starts to wonder…. j@ce fell in love with cl@ry at very first sight, but is@belle can’t seem to manage to feel anything too deep about any of the boys she toys with for a day or a month. so what if she’s the one that’s broken? what if she let her heart free and found out it was too cold and too late and she couldn’t actually ever truly love someone else, like her brothers do?

is@belle at times when m@ryse was away for too long, didn’t just try to make her favorite recipes. she’d sneak into her parents room, lie in their bed, wondering if her dad was with her mom tonight or with another woman. she’d sit on her mom’s vanity, put on her perfume and steal her clothes to snuggle in, or just walk around the room in her mom’s shoes, that were too big for her yet, but training the high heels anyway. she’d make her hair like her mom’s and sit on the rug so soft on their floor. sometimes j@ce or @lec would come sit with her, but she didn’t always wanted them to. didn’t want them to think she was having “weak girl moments”. most of the times she loved being the only girl around and kicking all of the boys’ asses and protecting them in the same measure. but sometimes he just wanted to sit by her mom’s bed, have her long hair braided, be taught how to wear make up, and be called beautiful, lie her head on her lap and hear her tell her stories from her youth and idris, days full of people and sunshine. sometimes being an only girl in an institute full of boys for sixteen years was very hard.

the proudest moment of is@belle’s childhood happened after j@ce arrived and she won a sparring session with him for the first time. she used to win over @lec all the time, but she always suspected he let her, that he didn’t go as hard on her as he could because he was afraid to hurt her, or because he just knew how much she liked to win. it wasn’t that it was easy, no, but 1zzy knew it also wasn’t as difficult as it could be. her first sessions with j@ce, is@belle tried to be gentle on him. j@ce was skinny as though he’d never been fed properly and covered in bruises and she knew his past from her mom, and felt sorry for him. when j@ce first landed her on her ass, 1zzy stopped feeling sorry for him, and started to love him. j@ce never seemed to think she was delicate or special, or that he had to let her win, j@ce liked to win as much she did and he made her such a better sh@dowhunter for it. sometimes they’d practice for hours, but j@ce he sparred like an adult, not like a child, and he gave is@belle a run for her money most days. it was also when 1zzy realized if she was gonna win this it’d be by betting on their differences and on her best features. when she caught the surprised look on j@ce’s face just before he went down, she had never felt more warm or proud of herself, happy. j@ce didn’t moan, complain, or accused her of being unfair. instead, he stared at her wide eyed, and then he started smiling, and then helaughed, and is@belle laughed with him. their training sessions were a lot more balanced since, and neither of them backed down, or was ever afraid of hurting the other, winning at alternate times and having fun regardless, because is@belle found a form of high and pleasurable respect in j@ce’s refusal to let her take advantage, or give it to her, and she found she loved it. and she found she loved him. and she knew the moment she landed him on his ass, j@ce loved her too.

#compilation ↬ isabelle lightwood #it's a staaaart

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ao3feed-lokiangst · 4 years ago

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KINKTOBER 2020 - MULTIFANDOM

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/33m0jgu

by hookedonwriting1

A compilation of all my works for KINKTOBER 2020! This is my first time writing multi-fandom so I hope you guys like it!! ALL CHARACTERS ARE OVER THE AGE OF 18!!!

Words: 3267, Chapters: 3/32, Language: English

Fandoms: The Maze Runner (Movies), Descendants (Disney Movies), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Criminal Minds (US TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Shadowhunters (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Harry Hook, Uma (Disney), Gil (Disney: Descendants), Todoroki Shouto, Bakugou Katsuki, Dabi (My Hero Academia), Takami Keigo | Hawks, Thomas (Maze Runner), Newt (Maze Runner), Shinsou Hitoshi, Kaminari Denki, Loki (Marvel), Peter Parker, Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Spencer Reid, Kirishima Eijirou, Jay (Disney), Carlos de Vil, Simon Lewis, Isabelle Lightwood, VK(s) | Villain Kid(s) (Disney: Descendants), Midoriya Izuku

Relationships: Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner), Newt & Thomas (Maze Runner), Bakugou Katsuki/Todoroki Shouto, Kaminari Denki/Shinsou Hitoshi, Gil/Harry Hook/Uma, Harry Hook/Uma, Gil/Harry Hook, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Loki/Reader, Peter Parker/Reader, Spencer Reid/Reader, Dabi/Takami Keigo | Hawks, Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugou Katsuki & Kirishima Eijirou, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood, Jay/Carlos de Vil, jay/carlos de vil/harry hook, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto

Additional Tags: Kinktober, Kinktober 2020, Mutual Masturbation, Dirty Talk, Mind Control, Somnophilia, Daddy Kink, Edging, Blow Jobs, Desperation, Accidental Stimulation, Knifeplay, Aftercare, Dubious Consent, In Public, Bloodplay, hierophilia, Begging, Bondage, Sexual Coercion, Threesome - M/M/M, Breathplay, Phone Sex, Wax Play, First Time, Oral Sex, Pregnancy, Temperature Play, Yandere, Praise Kink, Vaginal Fingering, Service Submission, Overstimulation, Aged-Up Character(s), Villain Midoriya Izuku, Villain Takami Keigo | Hawks, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Demon Alec Lightwood, Femdom, Everyone Is Gay, Isabelle is a top, simon loves it, Precious Peter Parker, dom!reader, Villain Todoroki Shouto, Villain Midoriya Izuku/Villain Todoroki Shouto - Freeform, Yandere Harry Hook, Vampire Dabi (My Hero Academia), Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Underage Drinking, Recreational Drug Use, Marijuana

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/33m0jgu

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #loki #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #marvel cinematic universe #angst

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enkelimagnus · 5 years ago

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Maia - Innocent

Ficlet #2 of the Ten Days of Atonement ficlet compilation

For @jewishshadowhunters‘ High Holy Days Challenge

Inspired by Simon's apology, Maia finds Clary and apologizes.

Read on AO3

"And with that, the New York Downworld Cabinet is adjourned," Isabelle Lightwood said firmly, closing the small leather black folder that was in front of her.

Maia sighed a little, and turned her head around slightly, shifting to stretch her neck.

The Downworld Cabinets were maybe one of the things she liked the least about being Alpha. She was much more into the moments where she could be with her people, her pack, dealing with every day problem, and leading them.

But diplomacy was important, and she wouldn’t let the pack’s relationship with the Clave wither because she didn’t really like attending the meetings.

The Cabinet had changed since its beginning. Instead of Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane, Luke Garroway, Meliorn and Raphael Santiago, the people that were now standing up from their seats and gathering their things, chatting lightly or staying silent, were Isabelle Lightwood, Lorenzo Rey, Maia herself, a Seelie named Isherai, and Lily Chen.

Maia liked the new line-up. She wasn’t a fan of Lorenzo Rey, and Isabelle and her were... working? Maia wasn’t really friends with her and she guessed she wouldn’t ever be.

She licked her lips and grabbed her files, putting them in her bag and walking out of the meeting room.

Her latest meet-up with Simon, where he had apologized, had made her think about her life and what she had to do. And it had made her think that she’d never apologized to Clary about almost killing her.

For long, she’d thought that she had nothing to apologize for. She had made the decision she’d thought best for her pack, and that was it, nothing else. Now that she was Alpha though, she understood that it was a little more complicated than that.

Yes, she’d maybe had it right when it came to protecting her Pack, but murdering someone because they might cause a threat wasn’t the right thing to do, in any situation.

Maia stopped one of the Shadowhunters that were walking through the corridors to ask where Clary was. They answered she was in the war room, with a weird tone and a disdainful expression. Anti-werewolf sentiment didn’t disappear that easily.

She found the red-haired woman standing next to a prep station, going over some stuff written on the table in front of her. Her hair was held back, and she wore the typical Shadowhunter gear.

"Hey, Clary," Maia said, and she turned to her.

"Maia," Clary smiled and nodded. "Long time."

"Definitely."

She’d seen her last when Clary had taken her trainees on a visit to Taki’s, both for food, and to get them used to being around Downworlders.

"I just finished the Cabinet meeting," Maia pointed out. "And I was thinking, about everything that happened two years ago, lately."

She couldn’t really believe it had already been two years. Things were changing at a lightning fast pace. Everything always went very fast in the Shadow World.

"Of course," Clary smiled. "What about, specifically?"

"About the day where I tried to kill you."

Clary looked a bit surprised, and nodded, crossing her arms. "I... Yes. I remember that."

Maia nodded, biting her lip for a second. "I’m sorry. For trying to kill you. I was misguided and I thought I was doing what was right for the pack."

"I get why you did it."

"Whether I was right or not, about how it could protect my people, it doesn’t... You were innocent. I shouldn’t have even thought of killing you for crimes you might commit. Not when you hadn’t done anything yet, and not when you had been on our side at times before."

Clary swallowed. "It was... We all thought I was going to kill everyone, whether intentionally or not. It’s not your fault."

"Please, let me apologize to you," Maia rolled her eyes.

Clary had a small chuckle. "Alright then. Thank you, for apologizing."

Maia looked at her with a nod. "I’m glad I didn’t succeed. You��re doing great things, and you’re a good friend to Simon."

Clary nodded. "I want to be a good friend to you too, Maia. For too long, we have let Simon be the link between us, but I think it’s time we build something else."

Maia chuckled. "Well, I’m up for it, especially if that means you’ll hire Taki’s to cater yours and Jace’s wedding."

Clary grinned and nodded. "Sold."

#claia #clace #fic #shhighholydays19 #tendaysofatonementfic #clary fray #maia roberts #mine

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ao3feed-malec · 6 years ago

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Ten Times of Vampire Leader and His Fledgling

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2P0ydi2

by lisanna44

A compilation of drabbles which focused on Raphael and Simon relationship as boyfriends. Dad Magnus and Dad Alec support their relationship and Clary forgot to give Raphael pep talk.

Just to remain you guys, I only watch the first season and didn't read the novels.

Words: 1015, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis, Raphael Santiago, Clary Fray, Jace Wayland, Isabelle Lightwood, Lily Chen, Simon Lewis Mother, Simon Lewis Sister, Maia Roberts

Relationships: Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Raphael Santiago

Additional Tags: Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Supportive Magnus Bane, Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago Fluff, Raphael Santiago Has Feelings, Protective Simon Lewis, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Idols, mentioned Five Night At Freddy's, Hotel Dumort, Simon Lewis Lives at Hotel Dumort, Clary Fray & Simon Lewis Friendship, Downworlder Dad Magnus Bane, Dad Alec Lightwood, shadowhunters season 1

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2P0ydi2

#malec #IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #shadowhunters

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ketzwrites · 7 years ago

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The “Raphael vs The Law” Debate

Here is a compilation of opinions on the matter of world-building continuity: Did Raphael break the Accords like Izzy claims or is that a break with the world building of Season 1?

Under the cut for the arguments. It’s really long.

Round I: Is torturing Heidi a crime against the Accords?

Anonymous 1 asked: How is anything that went on with Raphael the claves business? What he did was wrong, but Heidi was already a vampire by the time the whole thing happened.

My answer: I’ve been asking that myself. The only thing I can think of is that the Clave could blame him for making Heidi into a bigger threat to mundanes that vampires already are.

But that is such a stretch and being “more dangerous than regular” is not a crime. Besides, Raphael had no direct involvement with Heidi attacking, killing, and turning a mundane: those are crimes she committed on her own.

What Raphael did to Heidi was horrible, but it was strictly between Downworlders. It should’ve been handled by the clan, not by any Shadowhunter. Izzy had absolutely no grounds to banish Raphael and, in fact, by doing so she is interfering in Downworlder business, something that has been established by the show as a bad thing.

Don’t get me wrong, Raphael should’ve lost his position and suffer consequences for what he’s done to Heidi. But it should’ve been decided by the vampires. His punishment coming from a Shadowhunter and grounded on crimes committed against the Clave is a break from the world building and it takes away the Downworlders’ autonomy to take care of their own affairs.

@some-little-infamy said: I took that scene to mean that the Clave (and Izzy) would have issue with what he was doing WITH Heidi, not her existence alone. The fact that he had her captive against her will, experimenting on her -- all things she saw evidence of when she followed him down there and he tried to clean it all up quick -- THAT was what I figured the Clave would take action against. Sure, they mostly leave vampires to their own rules, but to know something like that was going on?!?! (I could be way off though!)

Anonymous 2 asked: Since heidi will not die in this episode. But it is safe to say that she wouldn't be able to hide for long from a shadowhunters investigation. Clary has been shown able to track simon. Do you think raphael will fall deeper in the mess he created by having another vampire take the fall? Namely the vampire who was guarding heidi. Because I cannot think of any other reasonable reason why clary and izzy will not track heidi eventually unless they think they got the killer already.

I think your first message got lost. That might be something about the “killer” you mentioned. I’ll answer this last part, though.

So, here’s the thing: the Shadowhunters only have jurisdiction as far as the crimes committed against Heidi as a mundane. Those were: 1. giving her vampire blood to drink and thus turning her into a fledgling and 2. killing her. Obs: Because Heidi was giving her blood voluntarily, technically neither Simon nor Quinn broke the Accords by drinking from her.

Bear in mind that a fledgling can agree to become a vampire by signing a Writ of Transmutation (1x12).

So, the people that committed crimes against mundane!Heidi were Quinn (who killed her) and maybe Simon (if he is her sire). Heidi’s post-fact consent would easily pardon Simon and Quinn is already dead. As for Raphael, he wasn’t persecuted for helping to bring Simon back once he was already dead, so I can’t fathom why he would be with Heidi.

Now, Raphael’s treatment of Heidi as a vampire is outside of the Clave’s jurisdiction. The Shadowhunters do not have the authority to tell the Downworlders how to treat each other. Even if Clary or Izzy (or any other Shadowhunter) learned of Heidi’s existence, they cannot go after Raphael for torturing her or keeping her in captivity.

The only people who could do anything about it would be the vampires themselves (by overthrowing Raphael or locking him up, for example).

Conclusion: No. That is a crime against Heidi, but it doesn’t violate the Law in the Accords as the Shadowhunters are not supposed to interfere in how Downworlders treat each other. The clan should be the ones with autonomy to punish Raphael for his crimes against another vampire.

Second round: Is bringing Heidi back without her previous consent against the Accords?

@galtenoble replied: I assumed the issue was turning her into a vampire, with no writ of transmutation, for the express purpose of experimenting on her.

My answer: I’d accept turning her into a vampire being a crime, but nothing happened to Raphael when he did that do Simon. Nobody even mentioned it being against the law to Clary when she was weighing the options. Plus, Raphael’s coup against Camille’s regime was entirely based on her risking the clan by breaking Shadowhunters Laws and then his first act as leader was breaking the Shadowhunters Law? As for the reason that she was turned, does that matters to the Clave? Urg, just grab a handful of Heidi’s grave dirt and summon her already. Or did they forget they could do that too?

Conclusion: Inconclusive. What is confirmed is that turning a mundane into a fledgling and killing them is a crime against the Accords and requires a Writ of Transmutation to be absolved.

Round III: Does Heidi post-fact consent absolve Raphael of any crimes in bringing her back?

Anonymous 3 asked: Turning people into vampires without their consent is considered illegal to the clave so raphael doing it to heidi was illegal. Heidi would never have turned if it wasn't for raphael actions. So it was a punishable crime. With simon it was different because there raphael was covered. He came to the institute and told the lightwoods and jace what happened. And he left the choice on them. The clave cannot punish him for this because members of the clave game him permission to do this.

My answer: Yes, turning people without proper paperwork is a problem to the Clave.

But Heidi wanted to be turned:

“First time that I went to a bleeder den, I was looking for an escape from a miserable life. After my first bite, I was hooked. It wasn’t just all the high of vampire venom. I wanted to be one. (…)” Heidi to Raphael, 3x04 ---- Heidi: “I guess that I should thank you for, at least, giving me a better life.” Raphael: “For giving you life at all. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be alive at all. This life you wanted, I gave it to you.” Hiedi: “You’re right. (…)” Heidi to Raphael, 3x04

Is the permission of a member of the Clave more important than the mundane’s consent to be turned into a vampire? The bleeder dens are in a gray area of the law because the mundanes that go there are willing to give their blood. There is no permission from the Clave for them to exist, but the bleeder dens don’t break the law.

In Simon’s case, he had to sign a writ of transmutation to rid Camille of any implication of his turning. That was done in the presence of a member of the Clave, who witnessed it all (Clary). That means Simon’s post-fact consent absolved Camille from turning him into a fledgling and killing him. Why does Heidi’s post-fact consent doesn’t absolve Raphael from turning her?

Izzy didn’t ask if Raphael had a writ of transmutation, she just told him he had committed crimes that could be reported to the Clave. And that was after she saw the evidence of Heidi’s captivity.

@magical-magnus said: About what the previous anon said. Simon never gave his consent either. Camille was his sire and she made him sign the write of transmutation because shes the one who turned a mundane by biting him. Raphael only brought him back. Heidis case is just like that. Either Simon or Quinn are his sire, Raphael just brought her back. Much like he did with Simon. If [Raphael] wasn't held guilty in Simon's case, no shadowhunter has the right to banish him now.

Conclusion: Yes, Heidi’s post-fact consent can absolve Raphael of bringing her back if that is, in fact, a crime. Bleeder dens are considered to be in a gray area of the Accords because the mundanes are giving their blood freely so mundane consent exempts vampires from crimes against them.

Round IV: Is Izzy saying Raphael of committed a crime against the Accords a break from the world-building or not?

Anonymous 3 asked: Hmm did you see heidi ever give consent to raphael to turn her? It doesn't matter if she wanted it deep down raphael never knew it before he did it. So it is a crime. If anyone found heidi and she did not want to say she wanted to be a vampire raphael was screwed and to be fair she wouldn't so they would kill raphael for what he did to her. To say it privately means nothing,officially there is no evidence whatsoever of heidi absolving raphael of him turning her. Camille had simon write evidence while raphael had zero evidence. Officially he stole her body,turned her against her will and she tried to kill him. And she is a rogue vampire who killed people. Raphael is screwed. But either way the fact is you are debating whether he broke the law but you don’t know the law. Not all the details anyway. It is more simple than you think if raphael didn’t commit any crimes he would have told isabelle there is nothing to report but he didn’t so he broke some laws we might or might know of them.

My answer: No, what I’m discussing is the consistency of the world building. That is why all my arguments are based on what has happened on the show in situations similar to this one. It is a much worse problem than the technicalities of what constitutes proof for the Clave.

The episode already broke with the lore of Shadowhunters by having Heidi first kill a mundane and then decide to turn him into a vampire. She couldn’t have done it because, in this show, a mundane has to become a fledgling before dying.

If the writers want Raphael to accept that he committed a crime, he will regardless of that being in accordance with what has been established. We’re talking about characters, after all. Their actions depend on the intention of the writers. What bind the writers are the rules of the world they are writing in. And, in this case, I say they broke the rules to achieve the end of the episode they wanted.

But if you want to discuss this as a judicial case regardless of the writers’ intention, consider this: Heidi can lie about wanting to become a vampire and Raphael can lie about bringing her back from the grave. Nobody can prove he was the one that did it; no more than Raphael can force Heidi to say the truth. Raphael is not her sire, nor did he kill her. He can easily say he found her already turned. All the hard evidence that exists is that he kept her in captivity and tortured her. In the end, it would be her word against his and Raphael already told two Shadowhunters he didn’t know who Heidi was. He has not admitted to bringing her back from the grave, so if there was a trial and he didn’t want to depend on Heidi’s testimony, that’s an easy line of defense.

There isn’t an end to this discussion, though. There won’t be a trial because the writers don’t want one. If you look at the bigger picture, it all depends on the writers’ commitment to the universe. In this episode, that wasn’t a priority and it hurts this storyline’s credibility.

Anonymous 4 said: *did you see heidi ever give consent to raphael to turn her* the issue was not about Heidi’s consent. The scene clearly shows Isabelle being rightfully disgusted with Raphael experimenting on (torturing) someone for his own selfish reasons. Unfortunately, to show her conflicting feelings towards Raphael, they introduced a piece of information that contradicts already established canon. One of the major S1 conflicts was based on shadowhunters NOT interfering with downworlder affairs of any kind. According to S1, Raphael’s mistreatment of a fellow vampire should be classified as an internal affair, which Isabelle has no authority to interfere with, even if what he did was morally wrong. But now this case is suddenly supposed to be under Clave’s jurisdiction, which Isabelle is obliged to report. It’s an example of a contrived world building :/

Anonymous 5 said: ‘Turning people into vampires without their consent is considered illegal to the clave’ while this is true, the crime Isabelle had to report to the Clave was Raphael torturing a vampire. We can see that Isabelle confronts Raphael about his experiments on Heidi for personal benefit, not about turning Heidi without her consent. This retcons the earlier established concept of the Clave’s prohibition of any involvement into downworlders’ internal affairs, which was shown multiple times during S1

Conclusion: Raphael being accused of acting against the Accords seems to be a break from the world-building.

Arguments:

We know for a fact that turning a mundane into a fledgling (giving them vampire blood) and killing them is against the Accords, as Camille had Simon sign a Writ of Transmutation to absolve her.

We do not know if the act of bringing a fledgling back from the dead is against the Accords as that was Raphael’s role in Simon’s turning and neither was persecuted for doing it against Simon’s will.

We know a post-fact consent absolves the crimes of turning a mundane into a fledgling and killing them; it should absolve bringing the fledgling from the dead if that is, in fact, a crime.

We know the Clave is against Shadowhunters interfering in Downworlders affairs, so whatever happened between Raphael and Heidi after she was brought back is not a concern of the Clave but of the vampire clan.

TL:DR: It seems that either Raphael can be persecuted for bringing Heidi back, in which case he should’ve been for bringing Simon back too and Heidi’s post-fact consent might absolve him or it seems that Izzy claims the Clave can regulate how Downworlders treat each other, in which case there is a break in the world building of season 1 where Shadowhunters weren’t allowed to interfere in “Downworlders business.” Either way, Raphael accepting Izzy’s banishment doesn’t make sense in the context of the show.

#raphael santiago #sh the clave #sh vampires #sh 3x04 #i don't even know how to tag it anymore #my head hurts #this is the last of this discussion on my blog btw #enough is enough

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thewildkairos-blog · 7 years ago

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Summer Reading 2017!

It’s that time of the year again, where students alike just cannot put that book down – and it’s safe to say, I am certainly one of them! As an avid reader, when I finished my A Levels and walked out of that Psychology exam after writing three sixteen-mark essays, I nursed my cramped wrist and proclaimed: “I cannot wait to read all my books!” as opposed to everyone else’s chimes of: “Tonight, let’s drink so much that booze comes out of our ears!” I suppose there’s two kinds of people, although I am certainly not opposed to gulping down a whole bottle of rosé whilst sifting through my latest page-turner.

Of course, with the strain of school stress, upcoming exams and trying to maintain a social life, sometimes our reading gets put on the back burner; however, in summer, we have so much free time and so much reading material, so I am setting out to read three books per month until I go off to university and have to kiss goodbye to my printed pages. Now, if you know me at all, you’ll know that I buy way too many books, and so, choosing my reading list proved to be more difficult than I anticipated! So, today I will be compiling my Summer reading list for you all, and of course, I’ll give my reasonings, give you a smidge of information about the books and leave links to where you can purchase them, should you want to give them a whirl!

Without further ado, I present to you, the reading list of yours truly for months July through September!

1. City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare

‘Sebastian Morgenstern is on the move, systematically turning Shadowhunter against Shadowhunter. When one of the greatest betrayals the Nephilim have ever known is revealed, Clary, Jace, Isabelle, Simon and Alec must flee – even if their journey takes them deep into the demon realms, where no Shadowhunter has set foot before, and from which no human being has ever returned. Love will be sacrificed and lives lost in the thrilling and long-awaited final instalment of the bestselling and acclaimed Mortal Instruments.’

This book is part of my all time favourite series The Mortal Instruments by my all time favourite author, Cassandra Clare; if you haven’t read this series, I recommend it so, so much! I decided that I would read this book first because it is literally the size of a brick and about has big as my face, so it’s the real deal and definitely is NOT light reading material! I have followed this series since I was about fifteen years old, and it is still my absolute favourite – after finally finding it (because I misplaced it when I moved house), I am already 28% of the way through it because it is fantastic! If you love a good fantasy book with well thought out ideas and amazing pacing, then this book is certainly for you! Buy City of Heavenly Fire on Amazon Buy The Mortal Instruments on Amazon

2. Tales of Mystery and Imagination by Edgar Allan Poe

‘Including Poe’s most terrifying, grotesque and haunting short stories, Tales of Mystery and Imagination is the ultimate collection of the infamous author’s macabre works. Focusing on the internal conflict of individuals, the power of the dead over the living and psychological explorations of darker human emotion, the collection features one of his most popular tales. ‘The Gold Bug’ is the only story that was significant within his lifetime, whereas ‘The Black Cat’, ‘The Pit and the Pendulum’ and ‘The Murders in the Rue Morgue’ became more widely read after his death.’

Haunting, right? Okay, so I can’t be light and feathery all the time and Poe’s work astounds me, I absolutely love his poems so when I came across this book for a total bargain, I knew I had to pick it up and give it a read. This book is being slipped in my handbag and becoming my carry-on read, because you never know where you might find time to turn a few pages! I love darker tales and short stories as they are usually so gripping from start to finish, and if you’re a fan of classics and a psychology geek like I am, this book is perfect for you!

Buy Tales of Mystery and Imagination on Amazon

3. The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon

‘THE STORY OF A GIRL, A BOY, AND THE UNIVERSE NATASHA: I’m a girl who believes in science and facts. Not fate. Not destiny. Or dreams that will never come true. I’m definitely not the kind of girl who meets a cute boy on a crowded New York City street and falls in love with him. Not when my family is twelve hours away from being deported to Jamaica. Falling in love with him won’t be my story. DANIEL: I’ve always been the good son, the good student, living up to my parents’ high expectations. Nevr the poet. Or the dreamer. But when I see her, I forget all about that. Something about Natasha makes me think that fate has something much more extraordinary in store – for both of us. THE UNIVERSE: Every moment in our lives has brought us to this single moment. A million futures lie before us. Which one will come true?’ After falling in love with Nicola Yoon’s Everything, Everything, and when I saw I could get this book half price in Waterstones, I instantly knew I had to buy this book – and so, into the baskt it went and now it’s in my hands. I was so drawn to this book and I’ll be honest, it was the beautiful front cover that caught my eye! I suppose I can drift from dark and macabre to uplifting and romantic when it comes to novels, and I tend to do that – I like to read different genres rather than the same genres over and over to mix it up a little bit! I’m looking forward to the unfortunate events in this story and how it unfolds, and I’m also interested to learn more about these serious characters that suddenly become undone due to love (which I am a sucker for)!

Buy The Sun is Also a Star on Amazon

4. A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin

‘Summers span decades. Winter can last a lifetime. And the struggle for the Iron Throne has begun. As Warden of the North, Lord Eddard Stark counts it a curse when King Robert bestows on him the office of the Hand. His honour weighs him down at court where a true man does what he will, not what he must… and a dead enemy is a thing of beauty. The old gods have no power in the south, Stark’s family is split and there is treachery at court. Worse, the vengeance-mad heir of the deposed Dragon King has grown to maturity in exile in the Free Cities. He claims the Iron Throne.’

If you haven’t been watching (and anticipating the next season) of Game of Thones, what are you doing? For real, it is one of the greatest TV shows of all time and I am such a huge fan. Of course, such a marvellous idea has to come from somewhere and it is the genius mind of George R. R. Martin who came up with the world of Westeros! I bought the Song of Ice and Fire series because of my love for Game of Thrones, so I just had to read the books! If you like dragons, medieval-fantasy inspired novels, this series is for you!

Buy A Game of Thrones on Amazon

Buy A Song of Ice and Fire on Amazon

5. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

‘Dorian Gray is having his picture painted by Basil Hallward, who is charmed by his looks. But when Sir Henry Wotton visits, and seduces Dorian into the worship of youthful beauty with an intoxicating speech, Dorian makes a wish that he will live to regret: that all the marks of age will now be reflected in the portrait, rather than on Dorian’s own face. The stage is now set for a masterful tale about appearance, reality, art, life, truth, fiction and the ultimate burden of conscience.’

As a sucker for the classics, I can honestly say that when one of my close friends (yes, Anna, you’re getting a mention, girlie) offered to purchase me this book for my birthday, I was overjoyed! I will hold my hands up and say that the first time I heard the name ‘Dorian Gray’ was the time that two of my friends were gushing over Penny Dreadful, which – and I did my research – is a psychological thriller set in Victorian London, which interlinks the origin stories of different classic literary characters. When I asked who Dorian Gray was, they looked at me as though I had asked them if the world really had colour (spoiler alert: it does!), and I knew I needed to change that. Thanks to extensive preparation for my A Level exams though, this book has sadly been waiting to be read for six months, and so I cannot wait to pick this one up again!

Buy The Picture of Dorian Gray on Amazon

6. The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare

‘It is not easy being Magnus Bane. As a warlock, he’s often called upon to fix the problems of others. His life has been long, and his loves have been many. And Magnus has a way of making sure he’s in the right place at the right – or perhaps wrong – time. The French Revolution, Prohibition, the first great battle between Valentine and the New York Institute… Magnus was there, and usually in the middle of it. Magnus will never be able to tell all of his tales. No one would believe him. But these eleven stories shed a little light on his often inscrutable character. They are stories he probably wishes never got out.’

Okay – confession time: Magnus Bane is easily my favourite character in the whole The Mortal Instruments franchise, so when this book was released myself and best friend Maddison squealed the roof down and whilst she has read it, I have only recently purchased and I’m sure I’ll read this one so fast that I’ll have to take extra precautions in order not to rip the book! For a little insight, Magnus is a sassy character who, in The Mortal Instruments series, has forever been shipped with none other than Alec Lightwood. Honestly, Malec are my OTP and whilst there are several references in the Mortal Instruments books to Magnus’ past, a lot of these aren’t explored and so for me – a huge fan of the books – this is an absolute must-read because I definitely need those answers!

Buy The Bane Chronicles on Amazon

7. Revenge Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger

‘Life has been good to Andy since she quit job ‘a million girls would die for’ at Runway magazine. Now, ten years later, she’s about to get married and she’s running her own successful magazine. But the night before her wedding, she can’t sleep. Is it just normal nerves, or is she having serious second thoughts? And why can’t she stop thinking about her ex-boss, Miranda – aka, the Devil? It seems that Andy’s efforts to build herself a bright new life have led her directly into the path of the Devil herself bent on revenge.’

I’ll be honest, I picked this book up from a boot sale for 50p, and I just couldn’t say no. Even though I have never read the first book (which I will be investing in), I have watched and loved the movies – and yes, I know books are always better than the movies. I must say that I love the movie (and I love Meryl Streep, so it really is a win-win), and I have always wondered what Andy would do after quitting her job at Runway, so I picked up this book so I could get some answers!

Buy Revenge Wears Prada on Amazon

8. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

‘Love isn’t an exact science – but no one told Don Tilman. A handsome thirty-nine year old geneticist, Don’s never had a second date. So e devises The Wife Project, a scientific test to find the perfect partner. Enter Rosie – ‘the world’s most incompatible woman’ – throwing Don’s safe, ordered life into chaos. Just what is this unsettling, alien emotion he’s feeling?’

I cannot contain my excitement about this book! Recommended to me by my friend Faye, this book really does intrigue me and I’m ready for a bit of a quirky romance novel! Although, when Faye recommended this book to me, she said she thought I would love it and that I reminded her of Rosie – which, considering Rosie is ‘the world’s most incompatible woman’, may or may not be an insult, but regardless, I love my friend to pieces and I am sure I’ll love this book!

Buy The Rosie Project on Amazon

9. The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey

‘After the 1st Wave, only darkness remains. After the 2nd, only the lucky escape. And after the 3rd, only the unlucky survive. After the 4th Wave, only one rule applies: trust no one. Now is the dawn of the 5th Wave. On a lonely stretch of highway, Cassie runs. Runs from the beings that only look human, who have scattered the Earth’s last survivors. To stay alone is to stay alive, until she meets Evan Walker. Beguiling and mysterious, Evan might be her only hope. Now Cassie must choose: between trust and despair, between defiance and surrender, between life and death.’

Isn’t that description just chilling? Don’t mind the triadic structure at the end there – it only drew me in so much that I can’t wait to pick up the book! After watching the movie adaptation in cinema, I knew I had to read this book because the concept was astounding. I’m excited to add a dystopian-style novel to the mix because any and all who know me will tell you that I am a sucker for a world-is-going-to-end style of book. Maybe I have a thing for the morbid? I just like to think I have a thing for survival and intrigue! This book is bound to keep me on the edge of my seat, that I can guarantee!

Buy The 5th Wave on Amazon

So there you have it – these are the nine novels I hope to complete through months July to September. Of course, regular updates will be posted and maybe even a couple of book reviews along the way. Of course, if you want to discuss any of these books or give your own opinions of them, you should totally feel free to approach me in the comments, drop me a message or reach me on any other of my social media which I’ll link down below for you! And don’t forget to leave your reading list and recommendations in the comments. What are you looking forward to reading this Summer? Drop me a message and ask me your questions here!

Social Media

#reading list #fandom friday #reading 2017 #bookworm #reading

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makeyourmarq · 8 years ago

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Tag Game!

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I was tagged by @yugystudies! thanks for tagging me (and sorry that i only saw it now wHOOPS i’ve been studying for finals hehe)

Nickname - marg/annie

Starsign - taurus

Height - 5′2

Last thing I Googled - rei yasuda

Fave music artist - i’m carat tRASH HAHA SEVENTEEN

Song stuck in my head - kard - oh nana

Last movie I watched - zootopia (v cute would recommend)

Last TV show you watched - how to get away with murder

What are you wearing right now - yoga pants, tank top, sweater

When did you create your blog - jan 19, 2016

What kind of stuff do I post - candid studying pics lol and i’d like to start making masterposts but unfortunately i don’t have time to compile things right now haha

Do I have any other blogs - yessss @avcxmgs (fashion & aesthets) @w-oooozi (kpop) & @pleasecancel (the idk blog)

Do I get asks regularly - nah

Why did I choose my URL - a friend gave me the nickname annie like 6 years ago?? i'm from a french immersion school program and student in french is etudiant(e) so annietudiant. technically it should be annietudiante but idk i just feel like it looks better without the e haha

Gender - female

Hogwarts - i feel like i’m the only studyblr that isn’t majorly into harry potter ;; i just took a quiz tho and it says i’m gryffindor ; v;

Pokemon team- instinct?

Fave colour - bluee but also pink/red

Average hours of sleep - 6-ish

Lucky number - 5 & 10

Fave Characters - maka albarn from soul eater, kageyama tobio from haikyuu, and isabelle lightwood from the mortal instruments series

How many blankets do I sleep with - one or two, depending on what season it is

Dream job - my dreamer dream job would be a kpop idol hAHA but realistically i don’t have one. i am currently trying to get into the nursing program at my university though

Following - 156

i tag @ztudymotivation, @studybuds, @mai-studies, @productivityplant, @behaviorral, @studyliz, @study-bunni, @hundred-days-studying, @q-ckstudies & i have no one else to tag so i tag anyone who’s reading this ya

#me #about me #studyblr tag #mine #tag

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nitestorm823 · 6 years ago

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Chapters: 10/? Fandom: Shadowhunters (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood Characters: Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Jace Wayland, Maia Roberts, Max Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood, Maryse Lightwood, Madzie Additional Tags: prompts, Drunk Alec, drunk magnus, Malec, jace pov, Fluff, Lightwood family bonding, Lightwood Family, Drowning, Panic Attack, 2x01, Domestic Fluff, Cooking, Racism towards Downworlders, Protective Alec, fight, Angst, Comfort, shadow world politics, Established Relationship, Sick Alec, Stubborn Alec, 2x15, Food Fight, Domestic Summary:

A compilation of all the ficlets I've written from prompts I've gotten on tumblr. Tags will be updated as I add fics.

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bytheanchorarchived · 7 years ago

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jace herondale headcanons compilation alec lightwood headcanons compilation isabelle lightwood headcanons compilation

#i added 6 more pages of stuff to it #to update it #so idk #if ur interested #𝕤𝕖𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕒𝕟 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙 ↬ b talks

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bytheanchorarchived · 8 years ago

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BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Alexander Gideon Lightwood PRONUNCIATION: ˌæləgˈzændər gɪdiən laɪtwʊd MEANING: Defender of men. REASONING: Alec is often known as the “protector”, which also translates on his choice of weapon: the bow and arrow, he stays behind and covers for the front-liners, protecting them from above. He also protects all his loved ones emotionally and mentally. NICKNAME(S): Alec, pretty boy. PREFERRED NAME(S): Alec. BIRTH DATE: September 12th, 1989. AGE: 18 (books), 21-22 (show) ZODIAC: Virgo. GENDER: Male. PRONOUNS: He/Him. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Homoromantic. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Homosexual. NATIONALITY: Alec was born in Idris, in Shadowhunter territory, which is located in Central Europe, between Germany, France, and Switzerland. ETHNICITY: Caucasian. CURRENT LOCATION: New York, United States of America. LIVING CONDITIONS: Currently residing in the Shadowhunter’s Institute of New York, where he grew up after he, along with his parents, was banned from Idris and relocated to New York. Depending on the verse he will also be living with Magnus Bane, his partner, somewhere in Brooklyn. TITLE(S): The protector. The eldest. First Born. Big brother. Acting Head of the New York Institute (show), Shadowhunter, Parabatai (to Jace Herondale), Fighter for Downworlders’ Rights . Archer.

↬ INTRODUCTION VIDEO

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: Idris, Shadowhunter’s homeland. (see above) HOMETOWN: Alec was likely born in the outskirts of Alicante (Idris’ capital, and only city), and not in any exact town. SOCIAL CLASS: The Lightwood family carries a big reputation and honor to its name, and they are, if banned from Alicante, the leaders of the New York Institute, which is not of small importance. Alec, therefore, occupies a central place in Shadowhunters’ Society. He has also climbed on the social scales by his own merits and efforts in the wars of the century, as well for being the first openly gay Shadowhunter, something he accomplished also because of those efforts, and then moving on to be an ambassador of sorts and fighter for Downworlders with the Clave. EDUCATION LEVEL: Shadowhunters are generally highly educated, Alec likely knows at least three different languages, and has general skills and knowledge in all different areas, from history, to geography; from the shadowhunter’s Laws and Accords, to Religion and the selected study of Magic, such as the training to travel through Portals etc. FATHER: Robert Lightwood. MOTHER: Maryse Lightwood. SIBLING(S): Isabelle Lightwood, and Maxwell Lightwood. BIRTH ORDER: Alec - Isabelle (two years younger) - Max (nine years younger) . CHILDREN: Max Lightwood-Bane, warlock, adopted in 2010 , Rafael Lightwood-Bane, shadowhunter, adopted in 2012. PET(S): None / Church / Magnus’ cats. OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS: Jonathan Christopher Herondale, his best friend, first love, and parabatai, half his soul. Magnus Bane, his first boyfriend / kiss / relationship, the first person that has ever made him understand he was loved and worthy being exactly who he was, half his heart. PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: None.

IMPORTANT EVENTS:

Alec had a hard time growing up with the weight of his parents’, society’s and specially his own expectations over himself. It affected him on all fronts, but mostly on the fact he grew up as a closeted homosexual in a highly homophobic society.

Until he met Magnus Bane, he believed he would never get to experience real love, or happiness, and his destiny was to live for his family and his duties and nothing else. He had no plans for the future, and no known hobbies, or activities that didn’t involve work or being with his family and parabatai. Due to his having to be quiet and inward about his identity, he developed a escape in hiding himself from others, being skittish of anyone outside his family, and even (show wise) harming himself by over-training, or not using his healing rune when hurt, to get a grip on his emotional pain and overwhelming sense of guilt.

The birth of his siblings marked important events for him, for it was when it started to be expected from him to be the responsible one and he first took it upon himself to take care of others.

When Jace first came to the institute to live with his family, it was the first time Alec had a friend, and that someone seemed genuinely interested in him, or to genuinely like him without needing any familial obligations. His connection to Jace was instant and desperately valued, for that very reason. And for the fact that Alec recognized a broken boy in him, and decided he would do everything to care for him from then on.

When Alec came out it was one of the first times he ever felt genuinely proud of himself or just generally free to be himself in public.

Meeting Magnus Bane changed his life, as much as meeting Jace had. If Jace first made him feel interest-worthy to someone he considered a lot more special than himself, Magnus made him feel like a first choice, romantically, for the first time in his life.

MY ALEC LIGHTWOOD HEADCANONS COMPILATION

ARRESTS?: None. PRISON TIME?: None.

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: Resources/Payment from being a Shadowhunter. SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: None. TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: None. APPROXIMATE AMOUNT PER YEAR: Unknown. CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: Being a Shadowhunter is as much a part of Alec as anything else, and he wouldn’t be happy not being able to do it. That said, he soon realizes that working for the Clave, and with being Head of an Institute, is not as exciting as he thought, and by far not what he wants. After he has his children and becomes engaged to Magnus Bane, more and more he sees his calling is towards what it always had been: protecting his family. He extends this to fighting for better rights for all Downworlders, and takes it upon himself to get to know them better and defend them from the Clave, so his children (specially Max), and the friends he makes along the way, can have a better future. PAST JOB(S): None. SPENDING HABITS: Alec rarely buys anything, specially for himself. His clothes are old and worn out, his possessions are meager. He’s not a spender, and he doesn’t feel the need to become one. He buys only what he needs and nothing else, unless it consists on a gift, and even so, he’s not one to waste money away. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: Most probably his runed bow and quiver. Whatever gifts Magnus, Jace, Izzy or Max may have give him along the years, for the sentimental value of being given one.

SKILLS & ABILITIES

Nephilim physiology: Being Nephilim, Alec possesses a variety of enhanced physical and mental abilities granted to him by the angel blood of Raziel in his veins and also by the angelic Marks of the Gray Book. This includes enhanced strength, speed, agility, stamina, and coordination, which continue to improve over time and practice. (x)

Parabatai bond: Due to his parabatai bond with Jace Herondale, Alec is able to call on more strength in battle. The runes drawn on him by Jace also give a considerably stronger effect. (x)

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: Great physical strength, that may be enhanced by runes. OFFENSE: Alec is more of a defensive soldier, but he will act on the offense if needed. He is a highly trained and skilled shadowhunter. And, even though, in the books, he had never killed a demon, himself, until the resurface of Valentine Morgenstern, due to his preferred defensive position, he was rather ruthless during the attack on Alicante, when it came to protect his family. He can be extremely rational, and even selfish for the people in his inner circle when in battle. DEFENSE: Alec’s specialty is defense, which is embedded even in his own name, Alexander, defender of men, therefore his defense skills are high, and his most developed ones. Both Jace and Isabelle note several times that they wouldn’t have survived many of their missions if it weren’t for Alec having their backs. SPEED: Great speed, that may be enhanced by runes. Alec is also described as lean and wiry, with long legs, all of which help his speed. INTELLIGENCE: Highly intelligent and intuitive. ACCURACY: Alec’s accuracy come from intensive training, but it was something he had to struggle with at first, and still does when dealing with emotional pressure, though nothing that comes from fear or the battlefield. That said, his accuracy is almost absolute, in perfect conditions. AGILITY: Alec is fairly agile on his feet, but his grace and balance come mostly from his runes, as he can be quite clumsy on his own. It is also possible that being so tall, growing up, specially looking at his age in the books (17), didn’t help him have balance, and that as he grew older, he grew steadier and therefore more agile, but he’ll never be as graceful as his parabatai or sister. STAMINA: Great stamina, that may be enhanced by runes. Stamina is a controversial topic for Alec, because his sense of his own limits is distorted, and he will keep going even after his stamina is long gone, even if he has to burn himself out for that, or overuse his runes. As long as he’s needed, or has to keep his loved ones safe, or is challenged to, he will keep at it, regardless of stamina or any other kind of danger to himself. TEAMWORK: Alec is good with teamwork, as he works mostly on defense, and therefore needs a team to defend. He also tries to be a leader, though he doesn’t have to be one, and is a big planner, which means he prefers working with someone than alone. He likes to be the back up. In spite of his high suspicions of anyone and anything new, even if disgruntled with the participants, he will work as a team and defend them. TALENTS: Archery. SHORTCOMINGS: Anything involving artistic abilities. (i.e. music, painting, styling, design etc) LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: English, Latin, some Spanish and French. I believe he learns more as he grows older and as he starts his relationship with Magnus he may possibly even come to learn a little of his own mother tongue with the years, Indonesian. DRIVE?: No. JUMP-STAR A CAR?: No. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: No. RIDE A BICYCLE?: Possibly. SWIM?: Yes. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: No. PLAY CHESS?: Yes. BRAID HAIR?: Yes, not masterly so, but comes from being an older brother to a younger sister. TIE A TIE?: Yes, imperfectly. PICK A LOCK?: Yes.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: Matt Daddario (both book and show wise). EYE COLOR: Dark blue (both book and show wise). HAIR COLOR: Jet Black. HAIR TYPE/STYLE: Messy, slightly curly, falling on his eyes, and rarely combed or styled. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: No. DOMINANT HAND: Right. HEIGHT: 6′ feet (or 183 cm) WEIGHT: Unknown. BUILD: Thin, lean and wiry. EXERCISE HABITS: Constant because of his daily training of his shadowhunter skills. SKIN TONE: Pale, white. TATTOOS: None, however, his runes (permanent show wise, and temporary book wise) can be considered or seen as tattoos, in which case, he has them on his entire body, specially torso, neck and arms. PEIRCINGS: None. MARKS/SCARS: Many. Alec has plenty of scars from training, battling, and book-wise, he has scars left by the runes when they disappear, since they burn the skin. He has several on his hands from training with the bow. NOTABLE FEATURES: Striking blue eyes, high cheek bones, hard jaw, elegant traces, height. USUAL EXPRESSION: Scowl, serious, when with strangers, relaxed, smiling, curious, when with family and friends. CLOTHING STYLE: Alec doesn’t have a clothing style, he will dress in whatever he has in his wardrobe, which consists of old, worn out, black and gray, pieces of clothing, almost identical to each other. JEWELRY: None, though I believe he starts wearing something after his relationship with Magnus. ALLERGIES: Allergic to pollen. BODY TEMPERATURE: Warmer than average. DIET: Highly inconsistent, on both the type of food and the constancy of it. PHYSICAL AILMENTS: None.

PSYCHOLOGY

JUNG TYPE: ISTJ ENNEAGRAM TYPE: The Reformer. ( Ego fixation: Resentment. Holy idea: Perfection . Basic fear: Corruptness / Imbalance / Being bad. Basic desire: Goodness / Integrity / Balance. Temptation: Hypocrisy / Hyper-criticism. Vice/Passion: Anger. Virtue: Serenity. Stress: 4. Security: 7. ) MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good. TEMPERAMENT: Melancholic. ELEMENT: Earth. PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: Intrapersonal. APPROXIMATE IQ: Unknown. MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: Anxiety, Low self-esteem, Insecurity, Distrust of others. SOCIABILITY: Alec is not sociable in the least. Isabelle records him even hiding behind plant pots as a child to avoid strangers. He hates being in crowds, going to parties and just being surrounded by too many people, in general. They overwhelm him. Even after he starts opening up more to new people, and including others in his small circle of people he’s close to, he’s still mostly quiet and into himself. With those special ones, he can be warm, funny, and open, but never with someone he doesn’t know, or hasn’t taken under his wing. He will be cold, blunt and closed off, upfront. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: Alec is highly anxious and can be very insecure, he’s prone to exploding when under pressure, or when he feels like he’s not being heard or given due attention. However, after he comes out, and start his relationship with Magnus, he starts learning to express himself in other ways, and slowly grows more stable emotionally, though it takes a while, and his outbursts coupled with Magnsu’ nonchalance causes them several issues at the start of their relationship. Due to his extensive experience with emotional pain, he is also very emotionally strong and can take a lot before he breaks down, he’s prone to swallowing what he feels down in order to comfort others. OBSESSION(S): Being good enough, responsibility. COMPULSION(S): Self harms by hurting himself with training when overwhelmed. Trains compulsively, drinks at rare times, and can become somewhat reckless when under extreme stress, then coming to regret his actions / words, once he calms down. PHOBIA(S): None. Spiders (lightly). ADDICTION(S): None. DRUG USE: None. ALCOHOL USE: Alec is not a drinker, he hardly drinks and he’s a lightweight when he does. However, he has used it as an outlet a couple of times, and gotten very drunk in those occasions. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: Can have a short fuse when provoked, or lied to / betrayed. He will never hurt someone that doesn’t deserve it, but he is quick to it, if he judges they do and there’s nothing to stop him.

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: Tends to stutter when nervous. Raises his voice when anxious or angry. His speech is often loose and somewhat jumbled, as his thoughts run faster than it, his head always in overdrive, making him change his mind mid-through his sentences. There’s also a lot he feels like he can’t say, so he’ll cut himself off. Uses a lot of speech fillers. ACCENT: New York accent. QUIRKS: Many. Fiddles with his fingers when anxious, pats his nape, fidgets on his feet, moves a lot when he’s uncomfortable. But also listens intently and with a deep stare when paying attention. HOBBIES: Not many, specially at first. Reading. Mostly training or preparing himself. As he grows up he picks up more hobbies as he starts to open up to himself, and be okay with what he enjoys, and being more than his job, or his position. One of those examples is starting to read comic books similar to those his younger sibling used to. HABITS: Training, studying, taking care of those around him. NERVOUS TICKS: Clenches his jaw, bunches his shoulders, crosses his arms when feeling defensive. Rolls his eyes, pats the back of his head, rubs his injuries when he has them to help himself feel more stable. DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: People he loves, keeping them safe, doing things for them, making sure they are happy and cared for. Being good enough. Proving himself. Accomplishing his duties. Feeling valued. FEARS: Not being good enough. Being discarded / looked down on by those he loves. Before he comes out, having people find out his secret and be disgusted by him / hate him / not want to be around him anymore. POSITIVE TRAITS: Loyal, Intuitive / Empathetic to other people’s feelings (specially of those close to him), Brave, Compassionate, Kind, Generous, Loving, Caring, Defensive / Protective, Determined, Obstinate, Bold, Upfront, Honest, Good listener, Attentive, Curious. NEGATIVE TRAITS: Closed off, can be Highly Insecure and Jealous when it comes to his close relationships, due to his Low Self-Esteem. He’s Righteous, often sees the world in black and white and can be Ruthless. He can also become Extremely Reckless, if he believes he has something to prove to those he looks up to, or to himself, or if they need him. Specially when it comes his parabatai, Jace Herondale, and his sister Isabelle Lightwood. Short fused, Anxious, Distrusting. SENSE OF HUMOR: Dry, sarcastic, ironic and blunt. Sometimes goofy. DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: No. But more so than his siblings. CATCHPHRASE(S): “I hate being the distraction.” “Told you so.” “This is not a joke.” “What’s going on?” “Am I the only one who finds this unusual?” “They(you) lied to me!” “I am not your bitch.” FAVORITE QUOTE: “Iz," Alec said tiredly. "It's not like it's one big bad thing. It's a lot of little invisible things. When Magnus and I were traveling, and I'd call from the road, Dad never asked how he was. When I get up to talk in Clave meetings, no one listens, and I don't know if that's because I'm young or if it's because of something else. I saw Mom talking to a friend about her grandchildren and the second I walked into the room they shut up. Irina Cartwright told me it was a pity no one would ever inherit my blue eyes now." He shrugged and looked toward Magnus, who took a hand off the wheel for a moment to place it on Alec's. "It's not like a stab wound you can protect me from. It's a million little paper cuts every day.” FAVORITE QUOTE (ABOUT): “He knew Alec enough by now to know the conflicting impulses that warred in him. He was conscientious, the kind of person who believed that the others around him were so much more important than he was, who already believed he was letting everybody down. And he was honest, the kind of person that was naturally open about all he felt and wanted. Alec's virtues had made a trap for him; these two good qualities had collided painfully. He felt he could not be honest without disappointing everyone he loved. It was a hideous conundrum for him. It was as if the world had been designed to make him unhappy.” — Magnus Bane.

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: Training. Being with people he loves. Reading. ANIMAL: None. BEVERAGE: Water. Wine. BOOK: A book his parents read to him and he read to Izzy, later. CELEBRITY: None. COLOR: Black. DESIGNER: None. FOOD: Probably something his mother used to cook. FLOWER: None. GEM: Beryl. HOLIDAY: Shadowhunters don’t specially have holidays, but Christmas when celebrated. MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: On foot, mostly. Sometimes the subway. MOVIE: None. MUSICAL ARTIST: None. QUOTE/SAYING: “Impossible just means try again.” SCENERY: Urban. SCENT: Something warm and clean, soap and clean clothes. Pine trees. Sandalwood. SPORT: Archery. SPORTS TEAM: None. TELEVISION SHOW: None. WEATHER: Winter. VACATION DESTINATION: He has never been anywhere but his homeland up until he meets Magnus, but after he does, they travel around the world, and he probably finds his favorite destination during it.

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: Being loved, being worthy of being loved. GREATEST FEAR: Those he loves being hurt / dying / leaving him. MOST AT EASE WHEN: Surrounded by people he trusts, hanging out. LEAST AT EASE WHEN: Surrounded by strangers, under judgement from those he loves, when there is danger for his loved ones. WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: Death of his family / significant other. His parabatai, Jace, finding out about his feelings / sexuality, and being disgusted by him. Failing. BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: Coming out. Starting his movement to fight for the rights of Downworlders, the Adoption of his Children, Making it through the wars, his relationship to Magnus Bane. BIGGEST REGRET: Not being there to protect his little brother. Hiding himself for as long as he did. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: The ones when he started dating Magnus and Jace started to notice. When Clary calls him out on his feelings. When Magnus finds out about his dealings with Camille Belcourt. All his voicemails to Magnus during their break up. Moments when he feels humiliated by his peers for his sexuality. (Or show-wise, the moment when the Memory Demon extracted a memory from “the one he loved the most” from him, and it was Jace.) BIGGEST SECRET: His sexuality. His feelings for Jace. TOP PRIORITIES: Keeping his loved ones safe and happy. Making sure he keeps his duties to them, specially.

adapted from

#𝕚𝕤𝕞𝕤 ↬ a conscientious conundrum (alec lightwood)#headcanon tag #long post_#bio tag

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bytheanchorarchived · 8 years ago

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headcanons compilation ↬ alexander lightwood

a compilation of my scattered/posted (so far) alec lightwood headcanons. i will be updating this as i post more.

i don’t think jace realizes how much of alec’s self worth was always knit so tight to him. how deep the pain of his unrequited feelings really run. how it actually feels when jace starts to reject him (from his pov).

vampire academy au

drabble: alec and telling magnus he doesn’t need permission to be in his space

alec’s fantasy is

alec: top intelligences

alec and not being as KIND or COMPASSIONATE as u might think

alec’s kink is to be loved by a cute boy.

i just really like the idea of clary and alec learning to be friends, care for each other, learn from each other, and learn to share jace and share in their love for him and eventually in their friendship.

do you ever cry about the fact that most probably almost all the runes on jace’s left side were put there by alec?

things alec wants: magnus casually touching him.

not feeling like a good person is something that both alec and jace carry for different reasons, and in two people that are so moral and were raised in such a lawful and righteous environment, that is an awfully dark weight to carry.

one of alec’s greatest pleasures is being around magnus after they said their i love you’s, because he never experienced before the freedom of being with someone he loves while being open about it, and as a result, getting to experience the rush of knowing they’re aware of his feelings and still wanna be there. just touching magnus, or kissing him, or being around him, while aware of all of this, makes a ridiculously huge difference.

ok, listen. alec learned how to treat, talk, and deal with, help, someone after strong trauma, growing up with jace. growing up with jace, he learned that you don’t just touch someone that is going through an episode because of abuse/trauma or other strong case of overwhelming emotion. he learned that unwanted affection can be just as bad as violence, or indifference, and that the BEST thing he can possibly do is let the other person know he’s there, and let them tell him what they need. alec never goes straight to jace physically, when he’s upset, unless he initiates it, or jace gives him a clear indication of what he needs (indication that to parabatai that grew up together can be just a look of permission). he RESPECTS the fact that his need to help the people he loves, should not, is not, and will never be more important than what that person needs or wants. he respects the fact that he DOESN’T know what a person with trauma needs better than themselves, and he knows that even silent support, or just making sure the person is safe, can make a huge difference. he accepts and understands the fact that someone during or after a traumatic event, or traumatic memories of that event, might not WANT or be able to HANDLE affection at all, and he’s ready to give it only, and only if, the person indicates that’s what they need. this has been demonstrated in the way he took care of isabelle while she was detoxing. this has been shown again with magnus. this has been shown with jace again on the roof. his own sensibility allowed him to learn this, and it’s what makes jace trust him so much. jace TRUSTS alec to be there for him, because he KNOWS alec won’t push him, or overwhelm him, or even so much as touch him without permission. and sometimes, though not always, just to know that he can have this small power and agency over his own body and what happens to it, and who touches it, and how, can be enough to wind him down a notch.

lowkey both alec and jace are oddly attracted to magnus’ lack of belly button.

alec really likes magnus’ hands.#he likes kissing them#touching them#holding#having them on his face#on his body#i mean

listen, magnus hands are magical, powerful, and so, SO kind, gentle, and hard working, and alec feels gratefulness and profound admiration.

listen, alec comes home from magnus all glittery, with lipstick marks, bed hair, and hickeys. he nuzzles magnus and likes to be touched all over, and doesn’t even realize he’s getting himself all shiny until someone points it out to him and he’s ‘ wh-wh-WHAT’ blushing mess. that happens bc alec doesn’t have the habit of looking at himself in the mirror at all. p sure he just goes about his business with his head down and thinking about a million things and never even lifts it, much less pays attention. after all, the boy that doesn’t even brush his hair, wouldn’t notice any of those on himself.

alec lightwood is a family man, a father, big brother, son, parabatai and a husband, before anything else and that’s what makes him the happiest.

i feel like jace passes by the bane-lightwood residence once in a while just to clean, because if he didn’t, between alec and magnus they’d drown in the mess.

tbh i actually think the beverage alec would like the most is wine, i have this headcanon that the institute and idris have the european tradition of wine at the dinner table, and the kids would be allowed to have a small glass as they grew up. it’s the one he’s more used to, and he likes it some because it feels like family and reminds him of home even if it’s a memory blur of the institute and his few scattered memories of alicante. it’s the one he knows a little more about too.

alec spent so many years controlling himself that he doesn’t have a quick trigger at the start. he keeps holding his body down subconsciously and has to remind himself he can let go, it might not even happen the first time he’s more intimate with someone. he spent years hating every little natural reaction on his body, training himself against it, and it takes him a while longer than an usual boy his age to physically manifest his arousal, to allow himself to. it becomes more natural as he feels safe and more used to the relationship.

also, i think that’s what people find so funny in the book (and by people i mean other characters) when alec is like “clary is one of my best friends” ? because they’re like, you couldn’t care less about her five minutes ago. but that’s the THING about alec, once he takes you under his wing, he does and it’s finished. it doesn’t matter what he thought before because once you’re one of them, you’re one of them, to alec and he’ll keep you safe with his life.

another example of this is when clary hears alec comforting izzy after simon is turned into a rat, and she’s crying and like, HE COULD HAVE DIED, and alec is like, very patiently saying, so what if he had? and izzy is like I WOULD HAVE- and he’s like “you would have continued to do what you always did and lived your life as usual.” and clary says he sounds like he’s done this many times before and not once does she says he sounds worried for simon or the other boys or that isabelle seems to get a lot of people in trouble, because SHE is not in trouble. alec. lightwood. doesn’t. care. he’s super lovely to izzy but not once he worries about simon, at that point.and YET, later on, when simon has saved their lives and stuff in cog, he DOES worry about him, when the clave takes him. so you see what i’m saying here?

talking to nanda @magnusbanedfromperu and headcanon that once they’re older, starting with alec after he adopts max, maryse teaches all her three children to cook, so they can cook for her grandchildren.

the truth is, ale.c head of the instit,ute would never work. he was already forced to choose between his family and the clav.e and he’ll continue to be. you can’t be against the system, while also answering to the system and representing it. if he truly wants to educate shadowhunt.ers, he can’t be liable by the cl.ave for his every move. if he always has to compromise to keep his position, if that is more important — keeping the title — than working for change, then his hands will always be tied. at the end of the day he’ll live a hypocritical, limited, life.

when ale.c is like that but with kids he brings home and mag.nus is HOW DID WE GET ANOTHER CHILD. and al.ec just……………………………………. i saw them, they’re ours now.also, actually i was gonna say this before and thought it sounded mean but it’s just alec, alec is really like: they’re my child now, you don’t need to pitch in, but if you want to be their father with me i will love you even more for it. however, regardless of anything, they’re mine now and i will take care of them for the rest of my life.

do you ever think about isabelle and jace pranking alec and giggling in the corner?

alec.lightwood.doesn’t.see.people.as.their.sexuality.doesn’t.see.himself.as.his.sexuality.doesn’t.give.a.shit.what.your.sexuality.is.only.what.you.do.doesn’t.hate.people.because.of.their.sexuality.doesn’t.exist.for.that.

listen those blue jammies were alec’s once, bc maryse bought them to match his eyes, only alec didn’t like them so much because they were too bright, and so she gave them to jace, which is why neat-freak jace sleeps in clothes that have a hole in it. bc alec made it and they were alec’s jammies.

show headcanons

now all i can think about is that alec still had conflicted feelings after kissing magnus, and that when he snaps at him and says “after everything i did for you” that he’s actually screaming that at jace, like seeing jace on magnus, specially considering how tortured he is. as though, “after everything i did for you, you still left me, you left me and made me stay back and protect everyone when all i wanted was to go with you.” it’d also mesh well with what he says in his ‘apology’, about how not having jace around makes him confused and feeling as though he can’t stand on his own. that part of him is hurt that jace left, even if he rationally knows he did it for them, he’s still furious he went without putting up a fight, because he knew what that would cause to alec, how it’d kill him, but alec still had to be strong and protect everyone else, specially clary from going after them. when what he wanted was to run after jace, himself.

bc him saying that to magnus makes no sense we can even see that in magnus face he’s outraged like wtf u talking about alexander bc alec did do the wedding thing for himself and everything else magnus has done was to help him even if alec didn’t want him in the end he’d still want to help him, so alec’s outburst was confusing and makes no sense but if you look at it from this point of view of him being frustrated and nearly through a panic attack and feeling betrayed and like he can’t trust anyone and no one will LISTEN to how he FEELS and how BAD it is and his head just shifts into jace and all the crap they’ve been through in s01 and he snaps at the wrong person bc he feels like he’s going to burst from it all

alec / izzy and the demon possession / yin fen

“ I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE SEX IN MY BOYFRIEND’S APARTMENT YET. HOW HAVE YOU?!?!?!!?!”

alec did feel it when jace tried to kill himself during the trial. in fact, he felt jace’s anguish and despair, and he got hit by it hard, which is what ultimately made him vulnerable for the demon possession and attracted it to him, in the first place. jace’s anguish through the bond knocked alec’s guard down and got him possessed.

alec was serene and happy earlier when he talked to magnus. he was worried about jace, but he was so certain jace would be back in an instant that he wasn’t tortured by it. sure the demon possessions were scary and all, but alec isn’t a scared little child, and he knows better than to let his guard down. he wasn’t vulnerable, he was feeling grateful to be alive, to have jace back, to have magnus.so why and how would the demon get in him? the most logic explanation is that jace was in such terror and pain and anguish that it seeped through the bond, and hit alec. which then, for my alec, drove his possessed self to clary’s room looking for her, where he found jocelyn instead.

what i really take into consideration about alec’s despair for finding jace, beyond the parabatai bond, beyond loving him so deeply, was that (mine, at least) alec had grown up hearing jace’s stories about his father. he grew up holding jace at night when he had nightmares. listening to incredibly awful stories told in a nonchalant tone because jace never even knew how bad it was; because he never knew any differently; listening to a little boy talk about his father with a fierce loyalty and love, when alec only felt stomach sick at the way he was raised, treated and beaten. jace literally thinks how he remembers looking for beating scars on his body after his father died, because those were the closest connections he had to him. and alec KNOWS this. he knows all of it. he knows exactly how jace was abused, how he feels about it, how vulnerable he is to valentine, and i think that of everything THIS is what scares him the most.

i think that when he was a little kid, he promised himself that he would NEVER let someone hurt jace like that again. and i think it really translates in his complete despair at not being able to find him. he knows more than anyone, almost as much as jace, what valentine is capable of. he knows intimately of the mental and emotional effects that has had on someone whose soul he has inside him. he KNOWS how this is gonna wreck jace apart, and it HURTS, because he swore he’d never let valentine(or michael) get his hands on him again and then it happened.

i’m sure i’m the slowest person on earth but i think i just maybe realized their intention with alec+jocelyn (i mean besides another wedge between fraywood). that alec’s rage brought him to clary’s room, to kill her, and found jocelyn in it, instead.+ i mean, i thought about it because before that we get that scene between clary and her mom, and there’s this pretty pointless comment of her saying she was guarding clary’s room, to make sure it was clear. it’d make sense? if izzy came for alec, because she focused years of resentment on him, alec does focused a lot of his resentment with himself on clary since she showed up.

ok. but seriously. this makes so much sense to me, and it’s my headcanon now. and now i’ve made myself sad. we got almost the entire first half of the episode reminding us of how alec’s annoyed by clary, doesn’t like her etc. then there was jocelyn’s comment that she was guarding clary’s bedroom. and i’m pretty sure some part of alec still irrationally, deep down, blamed clary for jace being through all the suffering he can feel his parabatai going through. valentine wouldn’t order jocelyn dead, specially when he hadn’t even got to talk to her yet. and while alec did have reasons to hate her, i.e. for what she did to jace, and how she used him too, she wouldn’t be his priority target. so what does make sense to me, was that he was looking for the daughter and found jocelyn instead, and it was good enough for the demon, given the circumstances. clearly i’m not saying alec wants clary dead, ofc not, much less to be the one to kill her, but just that his emotions would much more likely guide the demon towards her than her mother.

memory demon : “the one person you love the most.” /love/ the most. and while you could argue it was a sibling type of love (which is bullshit), alec’s reaction to it makes it clear that was not what that was, and he knew it wasn’t, and therefore could not possibly IMAGINE that someone would think it was something else, and not what he hated himself so much for. just like izzy knew. magnus knew. and clary knew. and jace did too at that moment. i just don’t get how someone can think that isn’t important. is alec falling in love with magnus? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY, but that doesn’t invalidate feelings he’s had before. it takes a while to work those kind of things out. he’s learning to love jace in a platonic way. i don’t know about anyone else, but, to me, you just don’t forget your first love, and everyone you’ve loved in fact, stays with you in one way or another. everything was done rushed-ly (though we know that was not their fault in season 01) so yES. alec WAS in love with jace still. at least my alec would always have been.just like camille is fucking important, and not dispensable, neither is jace to alec. their heartbreaks and unrequited love, are part of what make them finding each other so important. discarding that just actually cheapens their love, in my opinion.

malec fighting : i want magnus to drop his gentleness for once, and be the powerful, centuries old warlock around alec. i want him to give alec a good shake (with words), so he realizes he can’t just shift back into treating magnus like “any other downworlder” that doesn’t belong in his business whenever he’s angry, scared, or upset. i loved that scene so much, but now i really wanted a confrontation that didn’t happen last time, when alec apologized instead, and magnus was sweet to him and that was great, but i wanted him to shake alec up a bit this time. like yes, he understands, but alec needs to understand too. that that was his family as much as it was alec’s. that alec can’t just be a shadowhunter, in business mode, that has no space for magnus whenever things get hard.

#ok#i see where you're coming from and all#but let me tell you about the word 'friend'#that fucking word#hurts so much#so fucking much#idk if that's the case here with magnus#but i can say that even watching that scene made me flinch#there is a world of conotations#of sweeping under the rug#of diminishing#of shaming#of dismissing#and of humiliation in that word#specially when it's said in the exact tone he said it#it actually hurt me to see it#it's a brutal word when said just right X

there is a reason for why alec never sensed jace’s hook ups before, but jace felt it when alec and magnus first had something intimate with each other. the reason being that what jace felt and called happiness was actually a mix of intimacy, safety, yes, pleasure, but above all, love. since jace has never been in love before clary, and never had the chance to have something more with her, alec never felt the same from him. which is why it was a big surprise when he found out jace felt it, and it’s something he’s definitely to this day not entirely comfortable with. when clary and jace finally have their moment, alec will probably feel it too. it is certainly one of the reasons for his jealousy and pain in the first season, as he’s felt many things from 🇯🇦🇨🇪 towards girls before, but had never sensed him actually falling in love with someone else, until her.

people say alec is not affectionate enough but honestly to my alec those little touches are such an evolution??? just talking about my portrayal, personally, he was definitely more affectionate as a child, but ever since his gay thoughts™ started, he slowly stopped being freely affectionate to people. it started with jace, and then it extended to not initiating affection unless other people did for him. he’s JUST learning that it’s okay and he’s okay being who he is and he’s not gonna taint people just by touching them, or his close ones aren’t gonna find out he’s weird if they stand too close, or he’s not gonna give himself away if he lets himself be sensible and warm and let people in. that his love is not tainted. the fact that he’s initiating so many little gestures of affections is incredible to me. and i know the show doesn’t quite show how much of his struggle was due to homophobic society since that is so toned down in it, but his struggle was supreme, and to be this confident in himself, this comfortable, with greeting kisses and casual touching, that is amazing to me.

ok but look at his face. i know there’s this whole show thing where suddenly alec is the most confident person in the world, but that’s not how my interpretation will go. he’s not comfortable in this position, at all. he doesn’t even know if this is what he actually wants or just what his family imposed for him and he’s just used to it. he didn’t have the time to figure that out with jace having been head for less than 24 hours. at this point it feels like an obligation he can’t escape, and he feels wrong telling people what to do and being in this much exposition. he doesn’t like it. and he’s not even sure the job is for him.

jalec headcanon hour: jace is able to, through their parabatai bond, activate alec’s runes for him without a stele, and at a distance, just like he does with his own.

i firmly believe alec is overcompensating on confidence and decision-making for having not done so the episode magnus was trapped inside valentine. that’s why he’s so“FINE”, with all of this. he KNEW something was wrong the moment he touched magnus to get him off the floor after azazel’s attack. but he didn’t trust himself, and if he had, and had been more involved, instead of accepting the clave’s authority, things would had been different. now he’s desperate to fix this however he can, prove himself not only as a protector but as DIFFERENT from the institution that did what they did to magnus, the downworlders, and so many other prisoners, and trust his gut. and just really hoping it won’t explode all on his face. pretty sure an anxiety attack is on the way when things get too big to handle. he’s much too young for this big a responsibility over so many lives. he might look all grown up but if clary is eighteen, that means he’s twenty one at best. and i feel like it’s often forgotten.

ok, but, good part of why it took my alec a while to realize the whole switch thing is he’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop. aka people, including magnus, to reject him.

for weeks after alec dies for a second, jace has repeated nightmares of re-living that scene, only alec never comes back and jace in the dream thinks reality is the illusion. it messes him up for a while, where he needs to touch alec to know he’s real and there and alive, and jace wakes up gasping and while he’s dreaming he at times chants the ‘please don’t leave me, alec’ hoping this time he will get to live. some times in those dreams alec is killed by wolves, or by valentine’s hand because jace refuses to obey. some times he wakes up with his parabatai rune burning.

#trigger_#for everything alec has been through #long post_#compilation ↬ alec lightwood

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