#compared to other jungkook stories on this site

[taegularities]

hi, could you maybe write something for STARS BEHIND WAVES?

maybe about how they’re doing right now? (fluff, maybe suggestive?)

I really really love this story of yours:)))

Do you think you’ll write an epilogue someday?

(No pressure, i’m just really obsessed with this story)

Have a nice day/good night;)

fic: stars behind waves

pairing: jungkook x reader warnings: kissing, suggestive, his wandering hands and crude mouth lol, this is literally one of the softest couple i have and i love them so much, mention of fear of heights, oc is scared of a river :'), jealousy <3 pure fluff and bliss and love!! wc: 3.1k lol a/n: thank you for the request!! definitely one of my fav fics 🥺 i don't think i will be able to write an epilogue :( but rest assured, they're the happiest they can be. also, i really kinda love this lil drabble, so if you do, too, lmk hehe <3 a/n 2: i just found this in my drafts from when we were playing the amc game a couple months ago lol. hope you enjoy. is also unedited, so be gentle with me lmaoo <3

–

“Maldives.”

“God, no,” you reject, “sounds gorgeous, but. I can't deal with the heat anymore.”

Jungkook clicks his tongue, fatigued from the unproductive day, but agrees, “Okay. Maybe you’re right. We’ve seen our fair share of…”

The last words turn into a mumble, drifting when his attention does. He scrolls on, big eyes glued to the bright screen. He’s been changing tabs for hours now; between travel destinations and booking sites, he’s exhausted himself.

Several three-digit-numbers have burned themselves into your brain from comparing a dozen vacations; planning such a thing is tedious.

You saved money for this. Working your ass off throughout the year, putting extra effort in overtime hours to visit a place you’ve only dreamed of thus far. Jungkook graduated, and you promised you’d steer towards an unforgettable summer.

His shifts at the bookstore were tiring, too. One too many times you called during lunch break just to meet a groggy voice. The late dinners at home transpired similarly quiet, his eyes similarly fatigued.

Then he’d cling onto you at night; he found your warmth solacing. Would tug you in, smack his lips. Yawn against your shoulder before slipping into dreamland, uttering a couple last mumbled “I love you”s and pouty, whiny “Don’t wanna work”s.

Summer couldn’t come faster.

But so couldn’t dinner.

“Maybe we should think about it another time,” you say. “I’m getting hungry.”

Jungkook drops the attached laptop mouse dramatically, shoving it away as he leans back on his chair and declares, “Thank fuck. I’m starving.”

“Should’ve just said something.”

Dinner is relieving to the two of you; having used up all words for today, you eat in peace, each enjoying your meal. Jungkook, reaching for his glass of water, looks up at you once, bowl half empty.

His eyes land above your clavicles, right where the charm dangles. Sparkles. The stars he promised you almost two decades ago. He can’t believe it’s barely been two years since the summer occurred when he found you again.

Time has passed; the two of you reunited with ease.

Spending days and nights together doesn’t come without fights — occasionally, you snap at each other, reminding the other of lonely times, spitting words that soon turn into regret.

But those arguments, as natural as sunlight, pass quickly and give way to comforting words, lips on scarred cheeks, hands over warm bodies.

Even when you were younger, you’d make up softly, comfortably. Would apologise and seek an unknown spot on the island, starving for a distraction. You’d find yet another shell without pearls in it; would try to make things right.

Jungkook remembers one day particularly well; surprising how well it fits this very moment.

Back then you’d hiked up a hill, dizzy in the damp summer heat. You cursed at Jungkook for dragging you along when you’d suggested an effortless, pleasant afternoon at the small market.

Halfway through your journey, you feared you’d gotten lost. You didn’t meet people anymore. The forest grew more tense. You kept your eyes and ears open for snakes or bears or whatever might linger here.

You only felt a sliver of hope when you heard water splashing nearby, hoping it was a lake or the ocean. But what you found instead filled you with far more discomfort.

Not because the river that you found on top wasn’t very narrow or harmless. Neither because it ended in a waterfall that fell for quite a while and then continued the same river, meeting the ocean somewhere.

No, you felt terrified because you knew what Jungkook would want to do.

“Let’s go back,” you immediately blurted.

But he was already on his shit, shaking his head with a twinkle in his dark eyes. You pulled at his tee, ready to turn at your heel and roll down the hill. Jungkook, however, pushed your hand away, freeing himself from your touch.

“No. Let’s cross this.”

You knew it. He was bold and idiotic enough; an adrenaline junkie the way you couldn’t be. Even cliff diving took you a good while to tackle and then longer to get used to. He taught you and kept doing so every year, because you’d enter the island with a newfound fear of heights each time.

“Uhm,” you said, raising your hands in defence, “I do not think so, dude.”

“But loo—”

“No. *No, I—”

You were so close to the edge, though probably not enough for the current to pull you in. Maybe you just hallucinated the proximity, too. Because thinking about it in hindsight, there was probably nowhere that much of a danger for you.

But you still weren’t ready to die yet.

So you ripped your eyes open further, panicking a little when he stepped into the water along with his terrible crocs. You clamoured, voice higher than ever, “What the fuck are you *doing?”

And maybe you would’ve kept your stance and ran away if he didn’t smile back at you like you were nowhere safer than with him. A reassuring grin, secure and certain.

You guess you were already hopelessly in love with him then. Not to mention that you still constantly lost yourself in the kiss you’d shared on your porch this spring. Your very *first kiss…

And you still craved more ever since. Only, Jungkook had never given you more after that.

It didn’t help when he held out a hand, remaining teasing yet sweet with a tilted, crooked smirk. His stance, firm in the water, lured you in although you definitely weren’t one to be risky like this.

But somehow, he could still convince you. Forced a frustrated sigh out of you, pulling you in like a magnetic force as you neared the river. You could see the other side not too far from you, but in your fear, the distance seemed endless.

“C’mon. We got this,” he promised, his voice drowning in the sounds of the current. “If we die, we die together.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shit, you really think you’re poetic.” You climbed over a rock, taking off your shoes, holding them in one hand as the other clutched his fingers tight from the first moment, like a reflex. “You watch too many dramas, gosh.”

He held you in a careful grip. You were smaller then, and his seventeen-year-old body, a strong result of regular gym sessions, withheld the water far better than yours. You, as opposed to him, almost dropped to your knees wading forwards.

You stepped on a somewhat sharp rock under the white waves, but he wouldn’t let you drift away. His attention remained on you. Halfway across, he said, “Here.”

He took your arm and pulled you close, slinging it around his torso, enabling a stronger grip. He was an ass and gentle friend at once — because he scared you on purpose a moment later, acting as though he was slipping.

And just when you yelped once more, watching him squint an eye at the volume, you swore at him thoroughly. You mewled words you hadn’t heard in your voice before, and he laughed, stating, “That reminds me of a school trip.”

“What,” you panted, out of breath, “goddamn school trip.”

“We went to a climbing park, and like… this girl,” he sucked in air through his mouth, tired, too; and you held your breath, “this girl from my class was literally trembling. I— I helped her over a distance until she felt secure. But…”

He groaned, struggling a bit. Or maybe he just acted like he did, you didn’t know. You were more focused than before, that was for sure.

“She was screaming just like you,” he finished.

Suddenly, you weren’t that frightened anymore.

You even forgot that you’d feared death just a moment ago. Your chest burned green.

You asked, “Right. And… and you were holding her like this, too, huh?”

“Kind of.”

“Cool. Co—”

You were out of balance. One blink passed, and you tumbled, immediately digging your nails into his shirt and his skin. His hands saved you as you placed your free fingers onto a stone automatically, one shoe sliding off your fingers.

The river carried it away from you until you couldn’t see it anymore, and you furrowed your eyebrows, mouth wide as you yelled, “No!”

“Forget it, we just need to move!”

“It wasn’t me who fucking suggested this!” you snarled, gritting your teeth.

Your knees shook. You stared ahead — just a couple feet more.

“I got you,” was all he answered, “almost there.”

And when you finally were, you were still cursing, pushing his body away. Under your breath, you murmured a dozen words, and Jungkook, wiping soaked hands at his shorts, couldn’t stop chuckling.

His hair was damp, outrageous when he pushed it back, but it couldn’t distract you this time. Instead, you threw your remaining shoe at him, watching him dodge it with an amused wide grin.

You couldn’t be bothered with his jokes; he was being irritating. There was literally nothing over here. Who knew if there was a way to get off this hill from here at all.

Knees still liquid, you targeted a tree and took a seat underneath it. You caught your breath, observing him as he sniffled and picked up your shoe. You felt empathy for his shorts; he still dragged his hands over them, leaving dark, wet stains.

Then, he dropped down next to you. Nudged your shoulder and said, “Come *on. That was fun.” A beat of a pause as you moved your head to glare at him. Then, “Don’t look at me like that!”

“*You,” you started, face close to his, a finger pointing at his chest, “were almost gonna organise a funeral.”

“Please. Nothing was gonna happen to you.”

“No. Your *own.”

He laughed again. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut up.”

You exhaled. In truth, it hadn’t been that bad. Looking at the river from here, you truly were far enough from the edge, and the water had barely reached your knees. But the thing he said…

You searched for a way to make things less awkward; to not let him know that you were seething with envy. A harmless question came to mind, subtle as you inquired, “Was I at least a little braver than that… classmate?”

He lifted his head in thought, humming.

“Hmm. No.” Your shoulders slumped. How rude. “Hard to judge, though. It took us only a few minutes here, and it took her *hours to cross the climbing park.”

You didn’t tell him that sometimes, you were supposed to take hours. Not everybody was as athletic as him. Hmph.

“You helped her all this time?” you asked.

“Half of it at least.”

You shouldn’t have been jealous. Not bothered by how casual he made it sound, how he nodded… it was all whatever. But also—

“And then?” you dug. “You drove back to school and acted like you hadn’t just bonded?”

“Uhm…” Your heart dropped. Typical first love, typical first frustrating feelings. Your young heart was a lot more feeble. “Something like that.”

But you understood.

“Oh, Jeon…”

“It was just a kiss after lunch, okay. That day, and never again.”

Ah, you hated this. So he could kiss someone else, but not you aga—

No. Stop. What dumb thoughts.

“Okay. Good for you,” you told him, back to your prior tone.

Damn it.

You stared at the abandoned shoe between the two of you.

Shit, how were you gonna go back with one of your initially two Nikes on your feet? He’d have to carry you. At least you put both your socks in the one shoe you didn’t lose…

“Don’t act that way,” Jungkook spoke through your thoughts, patting your knee, “it was a lot more fun with you. She kept saying she wanted to go home and that messed with my own experience.”

“And yet, you kissed her.”

“Yeah, well. Happens.” He rolled his eyes. His voice was still casual and soft; perhaps he didn’t notice the storm in your pupils. “But I’ve had better kisses.”

Or maybe he did notice. Maybe that’s why he was saying that.

You hoped for a certain answer, but still tried, “Oh? Have you kissed more girls since spring?”

Oops. Okay, you didn’t want to ask so explicitly. But up until spring, he had never kissed anyone. And your heart fell into your ass, shoulders relaxing when he admitted, “No. Just her.”

Your eyes were wide now. You ogled at him, and then down to your drying legs again. Suppressing a smile, you nodded; and when you stared up at him anew, he was watching you intently.

Carefully, with tenderness in his gaze.

And he was close. You were half certain he’d kiss you again because for the tiniest moment, his eyes flitted down to your lips. But to your chagrin, the day and summer ended like this — mouth untouched.

He wouldn’t do more until years later.

Instead, he said, “I guess that was the last thing we still had left, right? Think I know this island inside out by now.”

“Probably,” you said, your voice hoarse. You cleared your throat, swallowed. “Would be cool to explore more with you, though. Outside this place, I mean.”

But once again, you couldn’t foresee that it’d be your last summer together for a long time. That you wouldn’t meet the boy bringing you the stars until you had hurt and broken enough.

And he didn’t know either; of course he didn’t. Because soon he promised, “When we’re older and richer, I’ll take you to the mountains. Okay?”

You giggled, unaware of the future. Naive and thinking you’d never separate from him, that you were destined to stay together — as friends or whatever else fate wrote for you.

So you hit his chiselled chest just lightly, telling him, “You’re gonna make me fear heights again, Jeon.”

“Nah,” he rebutted, “I’ll show you the clouds,” he pointed to the sky you couldn’t see, hidden behind the branches and leaves, “from up close.”

“Hmm,” you voiced, “the stars aren’t enough, huh?”

“They shouldn’t be. Strive for more and stuff, right?”

Right…

For a couple seconds, you just looked at him. Nodding a little, smiling, probably lovesick with hearts floating in your eyes.

Eventually, you lifted up your body, getting to your feet with a hand against the tree. “Okay,” you finally agreed, “mountains then.”

��

The charm glimmers in the light. It flashes Jungkook a little, and he blinks, moving his gaze up to your face. You’re finishing up the remnants of your soup, bowl tilted, getting to the last drops.

But your movements are slow, and you’re quiet… and he wonders whether he stayed silent for too long, too.

He calls your name softly, meeting curious eyes. His heart immediately pounds, and he says, “I was just thinking of something.”

You smile. “Figured. I was, too.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You first, though.”

“Hmm.” He lets the spoon drop, looking at the empty bowl, and then suggests with folded arms, “What do you think of the mountains this year?”

You raise your eyebrows. Look at him as if you understood. As if you recognised where his mind wandered to, and where the source of this idea lies.

And then, you prove that very point when you ask, “Were you remembering the waterfall incident?”

His lips form an O, expression sickeningly sweet and surprised.

“Were you, too?”

“Just a little. Since we said we don’t want any heat this year.”

He puffs out a breath; a slight, disbelieving shake of his head follows. Then, he simply says, “Sick.”

You kiss your teeth, nodding along. “You did promise back then. Mountains, I mean.”

“I did. And we can still totally go.”

“I’d love to.”

A brief silence envelopes the room. The pause is pregnant, the air lighter than before; and then he breaks the stillness.

“Hey… you gotta admit. You were jealous, weren’t you?”

His voice harbours playfulness, but his eyes hold a glimmer of curiosity. You can’t help but chuckle; thinking back to it, your pout was hilarious. Troubles used to be different back then — your younger self wouldn’t have survived opening the door to a half naked friend. Jungkook, toned chest out, right behind her.

A crazy summer indeed.

“You kissed me that year,” you say, “and then you kissed someone else. Teenage me was going *through it.”

You scrunch your nose, and when he does it in the middle of a laugh, too, you lose your cool. Might be due to the bunny teeth flashing. The sweet crinkles around his eyes.

But you lift off the chair, hurriedly rounding the table, lean over his body and sandwich his face between your palms. You don’t waste another moment — connect your lips quickly, mouth moving against his.

He lets out a tiny sound of surprise, but doesn’t reject you. Instead, his hands wander to your waist in reciprocation, dropping to your hips and then to your—

You gasp, tongues intertwining eagerly; you taste the freshly eaten dinner. Your keen hands hold onto his dark locks. He breaks the kiss only to get to his feet, pulling you close to his body. His head tilts, the kiss deeper. Fingers cradling the nape of your neck.

And then, as he sucks in some air, he whispers, “What was that?”

“Just…” You inhale. “Catching up. Doing what I should’ve done back then.”

“She says as if I don’t kiss her *all the time.” Soft peck against your lower lip. “Or as if I wasn’t just inside her this noo—”

“You’re so obscene, Koo.”

He snickers. “Alright. Now that we know what we want to do,” his breath is warm against your skin; you shiver, “we can book the vacay a bit later, too, right?”

Breathing is hard, speaking even more.

Your lips are parted, yearning for more. You’re irritated by the layers of clothing between the two of you — which is why you’re quick to agree, “Not opposed to a break.”

“Also,” he continues, his eyes locked onto yours, voice tinged with anticipation, “just so you know. Our kiss *was way better than whatever I did with Jiae.”

Another soft laugh escapes your lips; the name is insignificant for you. The intoxication of the moment matters; him and you. But you still jest, “Didn’t need to connect a name to that memory.”

His chuckle matches yours, voice barely above a whisper.

“I love you, you know?”

And that’s all he breathes for the next hour. Genuine confessions, tender praises — your name.

So often that you soon forget any other in the world — beyond continents and oceans.

–

liked it? then let me know!! 😁 and if you haven't yet, feel free to read the full oneshot that this drabble's a "sequel" to, as well <3

[violetsiren90]

I don't want you to think that you have to reply right away, sometimes I reply quickly just so I don't forget to respond to them - if I'm actually replying through inbox. But don't be pressured to respond right away.

I don't know why I tend to make size a competition for some reason.. I always do that. Every time someone says they're of short height, I am so competitive enough to say, "But are you this short?!" And I'm really not trying to be rude about this. But I'm always like this about my size though. But yes. 99% of the men I'm attracted to, real or fictional, will always be larger than me (including shorter men too). That's obvious.

And I know you can't see me, but I am older than my appearance may seem to most people. I'm actually the same age as Yoongi. We're born in the same year but he's months older than me. I may be a very short babyfaced woman but I'd tend to surprise people with my actual age.

So having an ultra size kink is definitely a given for one of my kinks.

And yeah.. I haven't written in a long while, because of many personal reasons I'd rather not get into. So I do wanna try getting back into any creative hobbies again, like writing, but I am definitely gonna be rusty though. So I want to attempt creative projects again so we'll see what happens with that. And not just for BTS but fandoms, celebrities, and characters in general too. There's so many stories I want to write now.

And yes. Maybe? Don't get me wrong! I know some people do write a few short characters. Sometimes. I know people tend to write original and reader insert characters more inclusive so everyone's able to a lot of those stories. Which I can understand. Though those stories are so inclusive from perspective even with vague descriptions. Like, as only one example, say the male and female character are standing next to each other. The BTS boys are gonna be with this example since this is how to conversation started. Jimin and Yoongi are the shortest at 5'9 in full height; Hoseok, Jin, Jungkook and Taehyung are in the middle at 5'10; Namjoon's the tallest at 5'11 (some sites say 6'0). I know most sites vary so I was trying to stick to the roundabout sizes listed for my explanation. And my size is 4'6. The shortest female characters I have ever seen written are about 5'2 which is the average short height for a lot of women. Which makes sense. And, without sounding sexual, any descriptions based on height doesn't seem fitting for me at all. If I am comparing my size to them? If I'm standing face to face with Jimin or Yoongi, my face would actually reach about their stomach like to their navel. And if Namjoon is 5'11, maybe 6'0, my full height next to him is more towards his groin. It reminds me of the sexually condescending comments about my size that guys have said to me. So, I'm definitely shorter than many women. And people in general. So whenever I read intimate moments between the characters, I'm not able to connect in that way because that's not my size. If the male and female are in this intimate scenario. Hugging, kissing, sex, situations like that. If they're hugging or kissing, the female character usually reaches up to a fuller height at about the male character's shoulders or even their chest too compared to me who would reach their stomach. And there is certain sexual positions that would be played out differently because of sizes like this. Which is not so realistic to me. Because I can't relate to that.

Actually! Same with dancing being another intimate moment, doesn't matter if the characters are fast or slow dancing. Because there's also size differences between those characters. So add that to the list too.

What the fuck.

But.. Yeah. Generally speaking, there are some friends who convinced me to write certain characters in my own stories like short characters and even disabled characters (disabled mainly in the sense of mental, neurological and neurodivergent disabled because of my diagnoses).

Yeah. I didn't mean to accidently send you the same video twice, well, kind of the same video. But the only difference was one video had the seven boys and the other video had four boys. Either way, I was kinda really trying to find more videos of their faces like that. There are a lot of other videos I couldn't find. I still can't find the Yoongi one either.

Before I forget.. The stories you recommended me. I've already read a lot of those stories before. Not that I couldn't read the stories again, if I want to. So now I might have some reading and rereading to do too.

I always try to answer as quickly as possible but sometimes it takes me a bit! 😅 But thank you, I appreciate that.

I'm so glad to hear that you're diving back into your hobbies and expressing yourself creatively again! I love that for you!!

Yes, I can definitely see how in many scenarios it could be tough to relate to the situations happening in a story if it's just completely different than what you would really experience!

I'm very sorry to hear about any disparaging remarks made by men about your height in comparison to their bodies. I hope you know that your existence isn't invalidated in any way by its reference to assholes like that. 💜

Yep, there is always a need for more perspectives and more representative voices in art and creativity! You never know who may be given a deeper sense of belonging in the fandom space due to your work!

I love those kinds of edits! The duality is real. 😳

Well, it seems we have similar taste if you already read those! Great minds think alike. 😊

Also, no pressure, but if you're going to hang out around these parts (which I would love), feel free to assign yourself an emoji if you'd like one to be an anon on my page! 💕

[chim-chim1310]

As a former jikooker I want to get this out: 80% of jikook fanfiction are hot garbage, specially these days. If you search on ao3 all you see are bad written fics about Jungkook raping Jimin as an adult or as a child or abo bullshit which is rape anyways.

And jikook fanfic writers are arrogant pricks who think they are Shakespeare. They always demand a lot like somebody is forcing them to post their work on a FREE site. If you don’t leave kudos is not ok, if you leave it’s not enough you should write a comment too, but make that comment an essay because a simple “Thank you” or “I love it” makes you ungrateful

Like in their stories Jimin and Jungkook are nothing NOTHING like their real selves 90% of the time. They could change their names to Ryan and Make and it wouldn’t make a difference, but actually it would FOR THEM because if they post their work under original instead of the bts fandom they get no clout to feed their egos

And if the fanfiction is canon(about them being idols) they always use it for their Jikook is real agenda and write some shady ass gibberish about Jk or Jimin saying they can act as a couple as much as they want in front of fans because they are going to be seen as brothers anyways

Some of them are in fact good writters but compared to other writting communities the number of great fanfictions is sooo much smaller

Girl I don't know why we're talking about ao3 fanfics. I've stopped reading fanfics a long time ago so idk girl.

Also I think all the fanfics are like this anyways. Whatever they write never match the members' real personality. It's why they are called stories.

And about the r#pe stories. That's disgusting. Please don't read that. Aren't there any guidelines in ao3 that you can't write such stuff? If not then there should be because God..... Who even reads that?! People get off on that?! And why add jimin in it?! I hate it!

Also this one time I read a jikooker or maybe it was a pjm....idk. Anyways they were saying that in jikook stories jimin is always portrayed like he's a girl. Is it true? Honestly I don't find it hard to believe.

Even if they do wanna write a gay fanfic then at least write it properly. Don't they know that you can write about a male character being gay without giving him any traits of a woman?

If someone is gay they are still very much of a man. Maybe it's just straight girls projecting their fantasies and writing stories about it.

I'm not saying that you can't write fanfics. If you want to......more power to you. But at least do it right. And please ffs don't make stories about someone r#ping jimin. God that is so disturbing to even write. If you're writing a story about jimin then he must be your bias. Why would you write something like that about your bias?

[mimibtsghost7]

Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost. 

funny enough: 

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life. 

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol). 

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well ..  guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me? 

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right: 

 Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me: 

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first. 

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony. 

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them?  You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that? 

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner. 

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever. 

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it:  a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~ 

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left.  As for me @hobisbeautifulass​ you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~ 

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^ 

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

[kpopfanfictrash]

Any tips for someone who has just opened a Tumblr account and has like zero followers? I'm asking cause it was an impromptu decision to write fics hehe. I don't know how to reach out to people? I've just like posted a masterlist with summary of some stories I've in mind. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you.

Hi, anon! Honestly, everyone's experience on this site is different. I know some (very few) blogs receive 1,000 notes on their first post, while other (most) blogs slowly build up notes and followers over time. I was definitely the latter, it took me 5-6 years to gain my current follower base, so try to go into this with that in mind. A few tips:

1. Post. I know this seems fairly obvious, but the only way to start is to start. Post your writing.

2. Post frequently and consistently. To a certain extent, being seen is a numbers game. You can have the best writing out there, but if you only ever post one thing, the odds of it hitting that sweet spot where people find it in the tags is less.

3. Post on a schedule, if possible. This is especially helpful when you're just starting out, as it lets people know when to check back on your blog. I used to post every four days. I know other blogs who posted once a week on a set day.

4. Tag appropriately. The Tumblr tag system sucks, but use it to the best of your ability! For a Jungkook smut, tag "Jungkook smut," "Jungkook fanfic," "Jungkook writing," "Jungkook one shot," "Jungkook x reader" and so on, and so forth.

5. Join networks / discord servers where you can promote your work. This... I will recommend with a grain of salt lol. There can be a lot of drama from networks/servers, but they are a good way to meet other writers and promote your own work. Networks will reblog your work to other readers/writers, and discord servers usually have a channel for you to post your fics when you finish.

6. Take requests / use prompts. These can be super helpful when you're starting out! Until you gain your own follower base, taking requests from readers means at least one person will be reading your writing/hopefully sharing your work. That can often be the kind of motivation which leads you to write more.

7. Take this piece of advice with more grains of salt, but we all know there are AU's and tropes which are searched more than others. Fantasy can be a hard genre to start off with. Heavy angst has loud readers, but fewer readers (you'll get feedback, but lower note count). More people search for smut than non-smut. I don't want to say don't write what you want -- ultimately, the best part of fanfic is you can write whatever you want. But. If you do have niche interests, it just means fewer people will search for that type of writing. Again, it's not a bad thing, but it's something to think about. Once you have an established following, it's a bit easier to take risks in terms of genre/style.

Ultimately, try and have fun and enjoy the experience! Try not to compare yourself to other blogs you see. They've likely been posting for longer and have put in a lot of work to generate the follower count they have. Don't set specific follower goals for yourself, but do celebrate once they come! Just keep working hard and eventually, people will follow. Wishing you all the best with your writing, babe!

[chateautae]

I just finished reading the last chapter of MID. 🥺

IF sammy decides to answer/post this, IF FOUND ON DASH BOARD PLEASE SKIP. Unless you already read it too.

First of all, I want to thank your parents for giving you life. Second, the angels for blessing you with HIGH CLASS GRADE A+++ talent in writing and lastly (I think) thank you for sharing MID with us, Sammy. 🥺❤️

I'm a new (?) reader here on tumblr, I just started this year. Begining with twitter aus, Ao3s, wattpads, most of them were fics recommend by my sister. I seriously searched on google, what sites offer fan fics. HAHAHA luckly, tumblr was one of them.

Maybe I do, was the first thing that popped when I searched for a Kim Taehyung fan fic.

Reading the first chapters I was swoon away on how you were delivering the story, their story. The words you use are exquisite!! Like you can deliver it in a more simple way, but you put so much detail and effort on each sentence, and it makes all of your books not just MID, entertaining and fun to read. It really does make me feel I'm Y/N.

You created this world for us your readers. You relieve tour stress writing, meanwhile your writings are out stress relievers. 🥺❤️

Its bittersweet that MID ended. But I'm still genuinely happy that it did. It only means you'll be creating more and growing more as writer. I promise, I'll read anything you'll put out!! 😁✋

You made me actually believe Tae is this BDSM Dom who's a total softie towards his person. You made me believe that its okay to break the status quo like how Y/N did.

You made me believe that being in love really does change one person. That's what the Kim's did.

The finale was written beautifully. Made me kick my blanket with all the fluffiness 🥺❤️ How Taehyung stood up for Y/N, how he expressed his love for her, how he showed all of them that he chose Y/N over his family, cause she was his. 🥺

The angst you inserted, when Y/N had a false positive result. How she pushed Tae away. How she thought Tae would hate her and keeping it all to herself, cause she didn't want to add to Taehyung's stress and because they promised to travel the world before starting a family. How Taehyung took the news being pregnant when they were in New Zealand. I was like will my boyfriend be this soft if this ever happens to us?!?

I loved how you inserted the slice of life struggle on conceiving for couples. I mean, come on, these two are sex machines HAHAHA Seeing them get frustrated and sad everytime they got a negative. It was also funny when each month the impreg kink was getting harder and harder. Can't wait for drabbles you'll be writing jesus!!

When they finally had the answered prayer from the angels 🥲 I-I was screaming and happy crying for them (these two are just fictional characters but they do stuff to me okay!! That's how good of a writer you are!!!)

With the teaser you left from the previous chapter, I kinda got the clue Tae was going to re-prose. BUT I did not expect them to try for a baby!!

Plus, how you added glimpse for the up coming Jungkook and Jimin high-class fic, i see what you did there, Sammy. I seriously can't wait for them!!! How I'll be seeing the Kim's in their stories and how they'd impact the other characters too. Especially on Jungkook's marriage hahaha

The vows, god the vows. I cried girly! Wishing to find a love like theirs. 🥺❤️ I envisioned their wedding compared to their first and how you ended it with Y/N's favorite flowers. ❤️��

I still have to read the epilogue until I say see you again to Maybe I do.

You are amazing, Sammy!! Thank you for Maybe I do. Thank you in advance to your other works!!!

Awh loves this review is so so sweet and detailed, tysm for reading mid, joining me on this crazy journey and loving mid the way you do. It makes me so happy to hear your loved my approach towards this chapter and even more so how the story's impacted you, I swear it's such a dream to hear and warms my heart ❤ and yes for sure!! we still have the epilogue but in a way it makes me so so sad to even start it because the epilogue really means the end 😭

[yyxgin]

have 😡 you 😡 had 😡 your 😡 first 😡 day 😡 yet

bar i thought i told you i was a libra 😭 oh well we can have it here officially 🥺 yesterday my manager pointed out that the barman is a libra and we were having a giggle at his expense about his new hair and how she thinks he thinks he’s impressing the girls (i don’t think he does but we move) bc we all talk to him (she was in a good mood) n i saw him today from a distance (i took a couple of my friends to try the food on my day off) n wow he’s so cute i wanna squish (i also accidentally sprayed cleaner sanitizer in his mouf yesterday 😩 he fuckin coughed and i was like OH MY GOD DID I— IM SORRY OH GOD)

no bar… bar, oh god, oh fuck… oh my god im so, so down bad it’s almost illegal.

i have to explain my next train of thoughts so here goes: my driving instructor rang me while i was out today and told me he isn’t going on holiday (awh) so i can use his car for my driving test (yay) unless he books a country on the green list that’s relatively cheap for short notice but he would still help me find an instructor who’s car i could use if he manages to get a holiday (yay for me and him). the next part of the story is now im thinking shit i gotta start saving my money and stop spending it on drinks bc then i can buy a car n insurance n stop worrying about missing the g o d d a m n bus! and then my next train of thoughts happens when me and my friends were walking back through our home town through the dodgy area that thé barman lives in after catching the train home and i was just thinking about how i can give him a lift home legit every day bc we both going to the same place and it’s like a two minute drive away from my house… my thoughts be going wild i have more than enough motivation to save my money now

i offered to stomp on a girl who argued w my supervisor (supervisor got sent to a different branch bc they have a lack of staff n one of their staff is supposedly moving n joining our branch) and i was v serious. my airforces are good for stomping people. i’m from the ghetto (compared to the other girls) and i will squish this girl like a fly if she were to come to our branch n disrespect literally anyone on site 💗 my supervisor threatened to get me on one of the other girls as a joke afterwards bc she came back for a day to get some stuff n go back… i think i made it 🤩 then i offered we get the barman to run her over w his electric scooter (this convo sounds familiar, have i already told you?) i’m so giddy right now as i went through a real-time realisation literally minutes ago.

i also think i made one of my friends mad bc i friend zoned him (i think???? i mean i called him bestie n he stopped talking to me 😅😭) this is how i find out about all the boys who have crushes on me. i’m so frickin oblivious you basically have to tell me you like me i’m AWFUL for things like this n i always feel bad afterwards bc i don’t see what i’m doing until it’s too late. btw this is the same friend i thought i made a dick appt w n we just went drinkin instead. my head rn is spinning. i don’t know what else to say?? i’m laughing so much at myself i’m so stupid sometimes 😭 oh well coochie go 🦋🦋🦋🦋💕🦋💕🦋💕🦋🦋 over muster jungkook instead n call it a day ~🌻

I CAN NOW PROUDLY SAY I DID HAVE MY FIRST DAY TODAY 🎉🎉🎉it was kind of weird ngl but at the same time it was okay so me happy ??

ALSO YES I REMEMBER NOW 😭😭 WE ACTUALLY DID ESTABLISH THAY U ARE A LIBRA I JUST FORGOT FOR A SEC. crying why are the two of you so cute you are so in love i cant 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 my new otp also how did u manage to spray a sanitizer into his mouth thats-

aaah i hope you pass your driving test !! i actually went to learn to drive w my dad for the first time today and it didnt go as bad as i thought. he even told me i did a good job so i am feeling very satified even tho i ran over a tire and scraped the bottom of the car a lil but oh well he should have expected that.

XHSJSK i actually friendzoned one (1) !! guy before and it felt weird. i was 15 and he didnt even talk to me irl even tho we were literally classmates and i was lowkey a lil bullied and he confessed to me over facebook messenger🥰🥰 also i kind of "friendzoned" a guy or so i thought the moment he asked for my german homework and when i said no he acts like he doesnt know me now in the school halls so thats fun too. good to know what i was worth of !!! 🥰🤩 also he is now into my best friend insecurities go brrrr

are we talking about black hair all tattoos out jungkook bc if so then same bestie, same.

[laughing-with-god]

Yandere BTS as fanboys

Jin- You’re his idol. He strives to be like you. That outfit you were wearing at the airport last week? He bought a matching one. You mentioned your favorite food on a mukbang V-live? He mastered cooking it. That one funny joke you said on that variety show? He repeats it all the time to his friends because it’s just so funny. If someone said that Jin was the male version of you, he’d be so touched to the point of tearing up. You were perfection in human form. Hate to say this, but if anyone dared to say that another girl idol was prettier or more talented than you, he’d definitely bash.

Prone to- Matching selcas and outfits, being a solo stan, going broke to see you in person via concerts and meets, unsubconsciously altering his appearance to fit your ideal type, bashing your ‘competition’

“Irene has no personality whatsoever and looks like an ajumma. You dare compare her to Y/n?!”

Yoongi- Analyzes your lyrics and uses them as inspiration for his own. Quiet fan, says he doesn’t need people to know that he’s a fan of an idol but really he wants to keep you to himself. Listens to your music at least 10 times a day. Helps him cope day to day and will switch to the acoustic versions when he’s trying to fall asleep. He could pick out your voice from a sea of others. He worships it. Doesn’t pay attention to idol culture, but if it involves you he’ll look out. Has a separate account to follow your social media. Has high hopes of one day working with you and creating a masterpiece together. He won’t get mad if someone disses your looks or personality (he kinda prefers it that people don’t find you as desireable as he does so he doesn’t have ‘competition’) but if someone ever came for you music....god help them.

Prone to- Quiet and solo Stan, has you as his background, skips through your members’ voices to get to yours alone, genuinely believes that you two will end up together, doesn’t consider himself a fan rather an appreciator of your music, pushes himself as a producer to one day work with you

“Y/n is so much more than an idol. She’s an artist. She’s so much bigger than Kpop, it’s offensive that she gets compared to the likes of Twice or Gfriend....”

Namjoon- Protective Stan. Dating scandals? He’s the type to get into a rant showing EXACT ANGLES OF YOUR EYELINE to prove that you weren’t lovingly gazing at the other idol. Controversy? The type to send letters to your company, begging them to sue dispatch and other sites for trying to tarnish your name. The type to try to search for deeper meanings with music videos and lyrics in quest for a story or conspiracy. Will copy your pictures for his own social media and have the caption of some deep quote you once said. Considers himself too mature for fan wars but his three paged rants in YouTube/Instagram/tumblr comment sections will tell you otherwise. Dresses like you and even tries to incorporate some of your mannerisms and sayings into his day to day behavior.

Prone to- Copying your social media presence, sending your company LOTS of letters, getting way too heated with other fans who just don’t ‘get’ you like he does, deadass wants to get a tattoo of a quote from you on him.

“Y/n is just a very complex person. I don’t expect you to understand what she meant by *blank* but trust me it wasn’t that. She’s just very philosophical and wise. Your two brain cells wouldn’t understand.”

Hoseok- LOUD stan. Has a YouTube channel for recreating your choreo. Has another YouTube channel for covering your songs. Has another channel for reaction videos of videos concerning you. Posters on his wall, saved selcas in his gallery, all your songs on shuffle and notifications for your social media are on so he won’t miss a thing. Has a proud tally for all the concerts he’s attended. Will happily roast someone online for the sake of fan wars. Will support your group/members as much as he can but at the end of the day you are his ride or die. Merch King. One of the most well known fans, one day your groups’ twitter account retweeted him and he SCREAMED SO LOUD despite being in public.

Prone to- Online stalking, skipping work or school if it interferes with going to your concerts or catching a V-live, going off on a hater and using his platform to protect your image

“Lmao imagine thinking that Y/n gives any types of shit about a weirdo weeabo like you?Talk all the shit you want from behind your crusty keyboard, she’s literally so unbothered💅🏼” *tweet from his fan account bc I picture him being THAT bitch*

Jimin- soft stan. Has a tumblr, wattpad and archive of our own account bc he LIVES for anything that can make him feel like he’s in a love story with you. Fluff, angst, fantasy ect. He’s always seen with his head buried in his phone screen and eyes furiously scanning the latest fic to peak his interest. Has a portable charger bc he cannot risk his phone dying whilst in the climax of a good plot. Not too involved with idol politics but he is very protective of you. Will def notice if you look a tad thinner or tired and type a comment telling you to eat more and rest well. Prob tell your company to lay off if I’m being honest. Supports your group 110% and doesn’t engage in fan wars bc he knows that you wouldn’t approve. The type to tell other frenzied fans online, “what would Y/n think?” Your his ideal type and he strives to be yours, dyes his hair and gets contacts to fit with your type.

Prone to- Obsessing over your well-being, spending too many hours a day reading fics about you (considers making his own), false sense of reality

“I know that Y/n doesn’t deserve this hate but pls don’t go bashing on haters on her behalf. Honestly it makes the fan base look bad and Y/n wouldn’t be proud. Let’s just focus on showing her love to drown out the negative. 💗”

Taehyung- You’re his goddess. Tries to mimic you in every way. Your hair color, your clothes, your accessories, eye colors and even the way you walk or talk. You’re just such an icon to him and so refreshing, he can’t tear his eyes away from you. Every idol is just so boring compared to you. You magnetize him. In his free time he tries to draw you and has honestly gotten so good at it. Another one to try to have a social media theme similar to yours. Got a pet and named it after you. Mimics your style and changes it up whenever you do. Will travel to the places you do, ESP if it’s for a fashion show. Even copies your skincare routine and diet. Follows your accounts but loves your from afar, doesn’t participate in petty fan behavior bc his ego is too big to ever settle for a ‘fan’ title.

Prone to- online stalking and copying, actual stalking, huge ego and warped sense of reality

“Y/n is going to be in Paris next week so I gotta book my flight now. Do you think she’s gonna be at the Gucci or Dior show? I would say Gucci but she never fails to surprise me...”

Jungkook- bby stan. You took his breath away when he first saw your music video. IU who? He watches EVERYTHING with you in it, streams all your music, follows all your accounts and buys all the merch. He strives to be your ideal type. He covers all your music but posts them online without showing his face bc he’s too shy. He used to be a fan war warrior but when he had a lil accident (cough smashing his laptop into a wall when the hater continued to call you a whore cough) he now tries his best not to participate and instead just focus on you alone. He would never admit it, but he’s the type to look up your zodiac sign and his sign to read about how compatible you two are. Doesn’t want to be so obvious as to wear matching outfits as you, but does get small things like the same phone case or necklace as you have. Just to feel closer to you. Would totally go to a fan meet if he knew he wouldn’t have a panic attack being face to face with his soulmate.

Prone to- getting a bit too heated when defending you, ignoring his actual responsibilities to obsess over you, buying small things to feel closer to you, suppressing aspects of his persona that he thinks you wouldn’t like

“Y/n said she liked guys who are laidback. Ugh...am I too practical for her? Maybe I should learn how to go with the flow a bit more. The horoscope did say she was going to have a problem with my Virgo tendencies....”

[yourkeeperoftherunners]

That 80′s Scene

Plot: AU When a friend sends him a link to a video recreating a scene from an American movie, he’s shellshocked to discover that the leading lady looks an awful lot like you, the exchange student here on study abroad.

Characters: College Student!Jungkook, Female Reader Exchange Student, College Student!Yoongi, College Student!Namjoon, College Student!Jaehyun, plus mention of the other members.

Rating: PG-13 (Language, mention of a girl in a bikini pretending to remove her top, male fantasies, minor jealousy) NSFW-ish

Notes: Moodboard is by me – please no reposting of this or the related story anywhere else! For those of you who aren’t familiar with 80s American films, the scene mentioned and depicted in the moodboard is from a film called Fast Times at Ridgemont High. The original scene was a fantasy sequence dreamed up by a male character after watching his female acquaintance prepare to take a dive into his pool.

“Hyung, what’s the point of this book?” Jungkook moaned as he put his head down on the desk.

The older student looked up from his worn copy of the required reading and glanced over at the second year student making a dramatic fuss. He placed a hand on Jungkook’s arm and gently shook it, reminding him that he chose to take this course.

Jungkook lifted his head and frowned at the comment. Yes it was true – the second year reviewed the classes he could take to finish his Literature GE requirement, selecting the current one that was focused on world literature. It seemed less heady compared to the Korean Lit class and he reasoned that the other writings from other countries couldn’t possibly be that bad. But now they were on some awful dense piece from a Russian author and he was kicking himself for choosing the course. Thank goodness for Namjoon being in the same class, otherwise he’d probably get a big fat F.

“I can explain the book’s importance–” Namjoon began, pausing when his phone went off. He dug around in his bag and retrieved it, unlocking it to take the call. “Hello Mrs. Ahn...ah no I’m not in class now...yeah of course! I can head over now. I’ll be...5 minutes. Okay thank you.” He hung up and apologized to Jungkook as he began packing up his things.

Jungkook sighed as he watched the other male pack up – it was an emergency tutoring session from the sounds of it. In addition to juggling a full load of classes, Namjoon was a tutor for the student tutoring center and often he’d take last minute gigs for Lit and Music if needed.

“Tomorrow?” Jungkook asked as Namjoon slung his bag on his shoulder.

Namjoon nodded and checked his watch. “I’ve got 2 classes and my meeting with my advisor for thesis tomorrow, but I have time after 14 PM. That okay?”

Jaehyun

Did you try SparkNotes? Sent 16:29 PM

Jungkook

No, I’d rather ask Namjoon. Besides, the professor will know if we consulted Wikipedia or something like it. Sent 16:30 PM

“Playing games again?” you teased the young man as you approached him in the dorm lounge.

Jungkook jumped and looked up from his phone, straightening up from his slouched position on the couch. He shook his head and put his phone in his pocket, explaining it was texts from his friend.

“We’re both struggling in class noona,” he explained. “It’s this book by some Russian guy and Namjoon’s the only one who seems to get it. I bet you anything he read it for fun before taking this class!”

You took a seat beside him and prompted him to share which title it was. He pulled the book from his backpack and you smiled knowingly.

“Make that two people who get it,” you replied as you took the book from him. “I can break it down into simpler terms if you have time.”

He grinned widely and nodded enthusiastically, fishing out a notebook and pen to scribble things down.

“I didn’t know she was into literature! Now I really wanna meet her!” Namjoon sighed.

Jungkook shrugged, trying to hide his reaction. While he admired and respected Namjoon for being smart, helpful, and a bit quirky (Ex. Going on rambles about whales out of the blue), he sort of didn’t want his elder to meet you. Then again, he couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous when he saw other guys admiring you on campus.

You were an exchange student doing a year long study abroad. In order to help the exchange students acclimate, the university asked for current students to volunteer as guides/buddies that would show the exchange students around and answer their questions. Jungkook volunteered, curious to know more about somewhere outside of Korea and was assigned to you. Despite the age difference, you treated him like an equal and tried to dissuade him from calling you noona. But he couldn’t help it – it was a habit and he liked thinking of you as his noona.

Of course, there was the drawback that being from another country meant everyone wanted to hang out with you or get to know you. You exuded a different attitude and energy from the Korean girls on campus, which made a lot of the male students curious to chat you up: some with innocent intentions, while others were clearly hoping to get your number.

“She’s cool hyung,” Jungkook replied. “She happened to run into me yesterday and said, “Kookie, I’ll help you.” So we’re all good.”

Namjoon fixed his bag on his shoulder and asked if his friend Jaehyun needed help. Jungkook nodded and said that his good friend was just as lost about the material as he had been.

“I think he’s done for the day – you could probably message him and find time to discuss,” Jungkook offered.

He sucked in a sharp breath as he copied the link from his phone, index finger tapping the Enter button on his computer. Jaehyun sent him the link earlier, asking if he had seen the video yet. Initially Kook thought it was probably something like a reaction video or some YouTuber copying the Fortnite dance challenge or something. He clicked the link and saw it was someone who did their version of a scene from a movie – probably a low budget student project thing for a grade.

The movie was in English so he didn’t understand everything happening in terms of dialogue. He saw it was a guy peeping out his window looking at a brunette in a red bikini standing on a diving board, then the scene changed to the girl in the red bikini swimming to the surface of the pool ladder, taking a breath. That’s when he dropped his phone into his lap when the camera focused on her face, or should he say, your face.

At first he thought it was a weird daydream he was having with you in it. Once he got back to the house he shared with three other guys, he took a seat at his computer and copied the link into YouTube. The phone screen was small – it was hard tell if this girl was a twin or his brain inserting you into the scene.

The site thought about it before pulling up said video and it began to play. A dated synthesizer sound played through his speakers and his eyes focused on the girl swimming up for air. Once her head was visible, he leaned closer and gaped in shock. It was you.

His hands shakily rested on the desk as his eyes stayed glued to the screen, watching as you addressed a male character off screen.

“Hi Brad,” you said, “you know how cute I always thought you were.”

The line made him puff his cheeks out unhappily as he watched you climb out of the pool, walking in a slow, dramatic manner toward a guy in a suit. It was just a scene, but he was definitely not liking this ‘Brad’ guy you were walking toward.

His hand hovered over the mouse and he scrubbed the video back to the beginning, just to make sure it was really you.

“Are you putting more viruses on the computer?”

Jungkook whipped his head around, seeing it was one of his housemates Yoongi. The elder was in his final year of undergrad, majoring in Music Production and Business. Jungkook and his friend Jimin answered his call for roommates and managed to pass Yoongi’s questionnaire. Jungkook shook his head and pouted as he pointed to the screen, currently playing the video.

Yoongi leaned forward and sniffed as the clip showed a young woman standing on the end of a diving board, before transitioning to her slowly swimming to the surface of the pool. He was about to turn away, leave the other to his porn but he blinked when the young woman’s face broke the surface of the clear water.

“Eh? Is this a joke?” he demanded as he placed a hand on the back of the other male’s chair, trying to get a better look at the young woman.

“You see her too, don’t you hyung?” the younger boy said. “It looks like Y/N.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened as he watched you address Brad before walking over and pretending to unclasp your swim top, leaning in for a kiss. Then the scene shifted to Brad in his room fantasizing the scene while jerking off, while in reality, you dove into the pool and complained that you got water in your ears.

“Maybe she has a twin?” Yoongi offered.

Jungkook shook his head and scrolled down to the summary section, pointing to your name. He heard his phone buzz and he realized he probably left Jaehyun hanging, grumbling as he unlocked his phone.

Jaehyun

It’s really her – the credits say so! Sent 18:19 PM

Namjoon

Jungkookie, you didn’t tell me your friend acted! Sent 18:25 PM

Wait, hyung saw the video too?

Jungkook typed back to Jaehyun, the latter replying that he got caught watching the video again instead of summarizing the details of the book at Namjoon’s instruction.

Jaehyun

Sorry Kook, Nam took my phone and he looked like a deer in headlights when he saw Y/N’s face. Sent 18:49 PM

We’ve re-watched the video a couple of times to make sure – so much for studying! Sent 18:50 PM

Jungkook groaned as he put his head down on the desk. At the rate they were going, who hadn’t seen this video of you in two tiny pieces of Spandex looking too sexy?

“It looks like it was a student project,” Namjoon shared with Jungkook a few days later. “The original movie was this American movie from the 80s and the guy’s channel is made up of a lot of recreations of movie scenes.”

“So it’s not a porn?” Yoongi asked as he joined them.

Namjoon shook his head and explained that he rented a copy of the original American film and compared it side-by-side with the video you were in.

“The movie version could almost be a porn,” Namjoon confessed. “The girl actually took her top off and the camera showed it. No rectangle – everything on display.”

Jungkook reddened and Yoongi almost choked on his coffee he was enjoying. It was too much for him to think about – you wearing that bikini and coyly addressing your male counterpart before making out with him.

“You talked to her about it?” Namjoon asked.

Jungkook shook his head and confessed that you had different schedules. He hadn’t seen you since your run-in at the student dorm lounge where you lived.

Yoongi put his cup down and nodded as he spotted you. “Then go talk to her now.” He gently nudged Jungkook forward and began guiding Namjoon to the opposite side of campus, leaving you two to talk in private.

“Hey Kook, everything all right?” you asked as you approached him. You frowned as you lifted a hand to his forehead, checking for a temperature.

“Well you don’t feel warm, but your face is all flushed,” you noted.

Jungkook fiddled with his bag strap and awkwardly cleared his throat. “Um, noona,” he began, “my, my friends found this video and we saw a girl in it that looked like you. It was...an accident and we were really surprised.”

You sighed as you shook your head. “I had a feeling that would come up again,” you mused with a faint smile. “I did it as a favor for my friend – he needed to shoot a portfolio for his college to get into their film program and no one was available to play the female lead. I told him the top stayed on, but we mimed it so people got the idea. Apparently, it worked because he’s in the college and he’s doing well. But believe me, that’s my only credit acting-wise. I’m not cut out for that stuff as a regular job.”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped up and met yours. “You’re not mad?”

You shook your head and explained that he wasn’t the first to ask about the video. “I knew that it was probably going to raise questions,” you confessed. “But the guy was desperate – we’ve known each other since we were kids and he was having the worst luck with casting for that scene. I think he tested about...oh three other girls and they weren’t right or they quit for various reasons. Hell, I don’t even look anything like the original actress from the movie.”

“But noona looked...really good,” Jungkook admitted. “It was really –”

“Hot?” you teased. “Well, I guess you can use that for good imagery when you need it.”

“NOONA!”

“I’m joking,” you replied. “But yes, it’s me in that skimpy little suit and no, my body doesn’t look like that anymore. But it was fun pretending to be the hot girl every guy wanted.”

“But guys here want you – even with clothes on,” Jungkook protested as he gestured around the campus.

“Eh I don’t want any of them,” you said. “I’ve got enough good guys in my life: You, Yoongi, my friend back home...yeah I think that’s enough.” You crossed your arms over your chest and asked who found the video first.

“Jaehyun,” Jungkook confessed.

“Ah figures,” you said. “You saw it, I’m guessing others have?”

“My housemates,” Jungkook confessed, “and Namjoon-hyung, but that’s really it.”

You waved it away as nothing and shrugged. “Whatever, I don’t care – it’s out there, I owned up to it. They can take it or leave it.”

[jinniesxlamp]

The Tables Have Turned - Chapter 12 (Finale)

A/N: I just wanted to express my deepest gratitude to each and everyone of you who made The Tables Have Turned a meaningful creation. Without all your love and support, the story would not have come to life at all. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you! 😊❤

Warnings: Long chapter ahead. Heavy angst in between. Slight smut.

LIST OF CHAPTERS –> Masterlist

Y/N’s POV

I came to work the next day fighting the same battle I had with myself the night before. The whole day yesterday, I was hoping to get some rest which I failed relentlessly. Jin having the day off and being around me the entire time only made it more difficult for me to survive. He prepared all our meals, all of which I politely declined, wanting to throw up every after five minutes.

Needless to say, I wasn’t myself; during conversations, my responses would somehow go off topic or sometimes I wouldn’t even answer at all. At lunch I barely touched the lunchbox Jin had made for me. Out of all the times he decided to be so good, it had to be now. I stared into the colorful lunchbox with all my favorites on top of the rice--pork tonkatsu cut into strips, pressed neatly on the center, surrounding it in a clockwise manner were seasoned mushrooms, spinach, bean sprouts, carrots and napa cabbage kimchi. 

Eun Bi was starting to notice, staring at me while she ate her gimbap.

“You know, he’ll get over it soon” I turned to her, confused.

“Hm?”

“Judging by the look on your face and how you almost cut your finger earlier, I’m thinking your husband  got upset with how drunk you were last night.” she continued while chewing.

I made no further comments not wanting to open up the real reason why I’ve been acting weird.

“If he really loves you, he will understand. No matter what it is.—

It’s his job as your spouse; marrying your past, present and future whether it’s success or failure, all the right and all the wrong that comes with who you are—he married them. Therefore, he will accept them.”

My eyes kept themselves observing her as she chewed on the last roll, placing the lid on her own lunchbox.

“I’m not even sure if what I did was wrong in his eyes but I still feel guilty” I sighed talking quietly.

“So he doesn’t know it yet, does he?”

I shook my head weakly, looking down onto my lunchbox again.

She sighed.

“You know, you wouldn’t actually feel guilty if you knew it didn’t matter to him”

Jin’s POV

Looking back at the events from weeks, and even months ago made me think hard about the things I’m willing to change with myself. With Y/N, with us.

Allowing myself to see the circumstances clearly impeled me to do the things I should’ve done a long time ago; breaking up with Irene wasn’t as damaging as I thought it would be compared to seeing Y/N with Mark.

I also started doing little gestures like sending her flowers on random days, cooking her favorite meals. I even thought about sending her daily written love letters but then I remembered—she didn’t know about how I felt yet. In fact, she didn’t know anything.

Leaving her to be with Mark was something I considered for a long time. He was a good man after all, I know this because I’ve seen him prove himself in ways I haven’t, countless times. But there was this longing in my heart, whispering, giving me the tiniest sign of hope that maybe if she knew, she would come running back into my arms.

I wanted her to know that I love her. That I needed her to come back to me. I didn’t want to make anymore excuses, not anymore. I’ve made up my mind. I’m taking her back—

Today.

I started exploring the kitchen from the fridge to the cabinets, gathering all the ingredients I could find to decide what to make for dinner.

We’re always eating Korean food. We never had any of her native food which I knew she missed a whole lot. Y/N still belonged to an Asian denomination which was good since the flavoring didn’t differ too much. I searched several recipies on Naver, leaning my back on the kitchen counter by the sink. Soon after, the site gave me an entire list of names which were slightly familiar to me. Sadly, I lacked a few ingredients for most of them except the pork broth soup. She made this for me one time, it was good but Jin at that time being Jin complained why she hadn’t made Korean food. She ended up eating it alone as I walked out, leaving her hurt and discouraged. That was the last time she ever made something she liked.

“Pabo.” I whispered, sighing to myself.

My attention was caught by the sound of the doorbell ringing.

“Nugu sijyo?” I yelled, walking to the door.

“Kim Seokjin?” asked the delivery man who seemed a bit younger than I was. He was about Jungkook’s age.

“Ne” I confirmed which led him to hand me a suspiciously large envelope. It wasn’t that big, but it wasn’t as small as normal letter envelopes. It was one of those yellowish-brown ones used to carry important not-to-be-folded documents.

“Ige mwoji?” I questioned myself not expecting a delivery, especially not something of this kind.

This can’t be from the company either. They never send us anything through mail. I took a few minutes to stare at it then finally deciding to rip it open, carefully.

“Muo ya? Pictures?” I searched for my glasses, bringing the entire envelope with me to the living room, sitting down on the sofa before taking a look at the poor quality pictures. They seemed to be taken with a CCTV camera from how unclear they were. I stared closely at the first picture, furrowing my brows, trying to figure out what it was.

This can’t be.

I scanned through the other pictures, only to find worse and worst.

I felt my right hand shake, unconsciously crumpling the edges of the last piece of paper. It was then when I felt the ground beneath me crumble. Every thing else around me fell apart as I tried to catch my breath. Feeling every warm tear that fell down my cheeks. 

I was inconsoluble.

Y/N’s POV

“You have one thing to do on your part, Y/N the rest is up to him”

“That is?”

“Be honest to him.”

The last conversation I had with Eun Bi shed light to the dilemma I felt. She was right. I need Jin to know simply because I want him to know. I just want to get this heavy, pulling feeling off my chest. But there was something I needed to do before I went home to Jin.

Immediately after work, I texted Jin letting him know I was going to be a bit late, but not too late for dinner. He didn’t reply, something that wasn’t quite shocking. I stood quietly under a very familiar tree in front of the Han River, waiting. I couldn’t help but smile at the beautiful memories this mere tree brought into my life.

I heard footsteps disturbing the grass, telling me I was no longer alone. He stood beside me in silence. His presence still comforts me in a very specific way. It wasn’t something I could find in anyone—not even Jin. Even after what had happened, I almost thought I’d become afraid to be near him. But how could I be afraid of the one man who took care of me with pure sincerity? How he gave me his jacket in the midst of snowfall, wiped my tears when I was to weak to do so. 

I could never fear the one person who showed me the real meaning of love.

“Do you remember this place?” I started gently, staring into the steady waters.

“ ‘Ahh. This is the saddest birthday I ever spent my whole life’ was what I kept telling myself that night. I was devastated, I really was. I felt so worthless at that time. Asking myself ‘how can someone mean so little—almost nothing to the world?’ I cried endlessly to the stars, wishing, pleading for something to help me get through that horrible evening—

He turned to me with those same glistering eyes he had that night

Do you want to know what I wished for?—

A weak smile curved from his lips.

I wished for an angel. I said to the heavens, If you can hear the cries of my heart....please. Send me an angel; a friend who will help me get through this night without breaking.—

Then it started to snow. I ran and I ran to this tree, the only visible shelter I could find. And then you were there. Exactly as I asked; An angel; A friend who will help me get through the night without breaking”

I slowly walked towards him, taking his right hand and holding it tight as I looked into his loving eyes

“You showed me the real meaning of love, Mark. And I will forever hold that within my heart. No matter how troubled this is, know that you belong in the only peaceful place here—

I took his hand, making him feel every beat of it.

You gave me sanity in this complicated life, Mark.”

Releasing your hand, I dried my own tears and continued

“I tried to reciprocate your feelings, every day I kept trying. But the more I did, the more I saw Jin instead of you. You always came to me, always waited even when you’re tired or hopeless. 

Even after spending an entire day filled with happiness beside you, the feeling of emptiness still came to me at night. That’s when I realized; no matter what you did, no matter how you made me feel, you still weren’t the missing piece I was looking for—you still weren’t Jin.”

Mark’s POV

My heart twisted mercilessly as I stood there listening to Y/N, watching her dry her own tears.

“I can’t keep doing this to you, Mark. Not when I know you deserve a better love. One that doesn’t require you to wait. Someone who can give their whole heart to you and not merely half. You deserve that kind of love.”

Gently, I dried your eyes one last time, holding you for the very last time, telling you not to worry; letting you know that I will be okay.

“You belong in his arms. It’s time for you to go back.”

I stayed a little bit more, allowing the sight of the River to distract me after watching you walk away. The peace it brought didn’t want me to pick up the phone that kept ringing inside my pocket.

“You’re on your own. I let her go.” The hint of pain in my voice wasn’t something I tried to hide as I spoke to answer.

I heard the woman grunt evilly on the other side of the line.

“Oh, Mark. I can’t say I’m disappointed. We both knew from the beginning you weren’t capable of hurting poor Y/N”

Something about the enthusiasm in her devilish voice gave me a very bad feeling.

“I told you didn’t I? Just stick to the plan and I’ll take care of the rest”

The next thing I knew she was no longer on the line. What was she planning to do? Think, Mark. What was the plan? 

You didn’t know.

The only thing Irene instructed me to do was to find a place where I could bring you for a night. Somewhere only the two of us knew. I told her about the secret house I bought for my family which we decided to use.

“Take her there tomorrow night while I take care of Jin.” Was what she said. You getting drunk on that same night wasn’t helping at all. It made it so easy for me to push through with the plan.

But what didn’t make sense to me was she insisted I give her the passcode. Why? What did she need it for? Unless—

My eyes widened as I ran as fast as I could towards my car, hitting the steering wheel in frustration with every stop I had to make.

Wasting no time upon arriving, I entered the same code I wrote for Irene on that same piece of paper, bolting the door open and searching the house. My gaze shifted towards the room you spent the night in. Swallowing whatever there was to swallow, I opened the door hoping to be wrong. I eyed all the possible places she could possibly attach that thing. 

Then to my horror, there it was, standing in front of the TV. It was so small anyone could easily miss it. The way it was positioned gave a perfect view of the bed.

I’m so sorry, Y/N.

Y/N’s POV

Now that I have settled things with Mark, it was time I did the same with Jin. Although most part of me was scared, the remaining part was determined to be freed, and the only way that was possible was to tell Jin. Every thing. From how I’ve been feeling emptier the day we stopped talking, to how I wished he had said something during the times he saw me leave to see Mark. There was no hidding anymore. Whether he chose me or not, I was ready to tell him I still loved him with all that I am and all that I have.

I entered the house which was rather darker than usual.

“I’m ho—

J-Jin”

I said. The way he sat in the middle of the sofa with his arms leaning on his thighs and hands held together, slouching and looking down made me tremendously nervous.

“I’m only going to ask you once. Where were you that night?”

His voice was cold and angry, he almost sounded hurt.

I felt my throat run dry, and my tongue hidding as I spoke.

“I-I was with my co-workers” I blurted out.

“Co-workers?” He grunted. The displeasure in his voice only grew worse.

“Then how do you explain this?!” His rageful voice made me jump in surprise as he picked what looked like photographs from the coffee table in front of him.

I composed myself, wanting to see what he was talking about. Grabbing the photos which were evidently crumpled by the side, my heart started to race as I scanned from one print out to the other.

“Jin. I can explain” I said sternly, remembering my reason for coming home today. He was going to hear the truth no matter what.

“Explain what Y/N? That picture says it all” standing up from the couch, he started walking in front of me, back and forth answering me with pure sarcasm.

“You need to hear the truth, Jin” I said again.

“What truth? That you slept with another man, doing corrupt acts even when you’re lawfully married? Ha! Give me a break Y/N. You even had the audacity to record it on camera? Disgusting”

Not knowing how or what to feel, Jin was starting to let irrational things slip out his mouth. Things he didn’t mean but Y/N didn’t know that.

The last word he said felt like a big, hollow blade ripped through my chest, making me say things I never thought would come out of my mouth.

“That’s interesting knowing you’ve been sleeping with another woman since the day we got married.” I huffed with the same amount of sarcasm.

“Don’t you dare bring her into this!” He snared.

“Why? I like knowing there’s another disgusting woman besides me who would dare share a bed with a married man” My hands trembled in a fist, I wasn’t going to let him defend her again.

“Hah. At least we had the decency not to film our lewd acts on camera”

Slap.

It felt unreal that I brought my hand swinging across Jin’s face.

That was just really unfair.

Mark and I barely kissed. No actually, he kissed me. I never returned it. We never had sex, which I’m sure they’ve had. Not once, not twice. Judging by the countless times I caught her scent on him, they must’ve done it half the time we had been married. It wasn’t silent between us, I was breathing heavily in anger.

“Do you want a divorce?”

Jin’s POV

My whole being had been crushed at the though of his hands on her. How he must’ve touched her in several places. Thinking of the sounds she must’ve made drove me insanely crazy. I wanted to find him, throw him onto the ground and beat him up. When she didn’t deny it, my anger only flared more causing me to say things without thinking.

I felt her hand swing across my face, signaling defeat. 

She no longer found herself in my arms. 

As if trying to break my heart some more until I no longer felt it, I asked her the question I never thought would come out of my mouth.

“Do you want a divorce?” I said helplessly.

Her eyes started to water, sending my knees weak. 

Wasn’t this what she wanted?

“Of course....of course you would ask for a divorce.—

She whispered to herself.

It’s always the easy way out for you, Jin. You always want the easy way where you won’t have to fight for anything. Where you won’t have anything to lose. Why do I feel like you just waited for me to make one big mistake so you can leave me for good? Why?—

My eyes looked at hers, wanting to tell her the truth. That I thought that’s what she wanted; to be free with him. Was I wrong?

It would have been easier if you had just left without saying goodbye. In that way I could still think you would come back to me on days when you fought. On days when she would make you feel lonely. It would have been easier for me if you just did what you used to do, love her while you let me love you, even when I know you didn’t feel the same way—

I’d much rather catch her perfume on your skin than not smell your presence at all—

But to have me make a mistake and make it as a reason to run, you’re taking the one thing I treasure most in this world. You’re taking you away from me, Jin.”

My eyes widened as her voice began to break, slowly walking towards her, trembling. But she walked backwards with every step I took.

“Y-y/N”

“The truth is, Jin. I didn’t mind waiting for you even if it meant forever. No matter how much you insult the dishes I made that didn’t satisfy you, no matter how much you despised seeing me sleeping on the same bed as you. You could tell me I looked stupid while trying to dress nicely for you all you want, I wouldn’t mind. I can swallow all that.—

I tried to come closer, but you continued to move away with every step I took

“Y/N, please...listen to me” I pleaded.

The truth is, I kept making the purpose of our marriage as an excuse to keep you from running away from me. But now, seeing how you’re using it to leave made me realize I should stop.”

“If that’s what’s going to make you completely, genuinely and absolutely happy. Then okay—

Tears started to form in my own eyes, begging her to stop walking away from me so I could hold her and tell her how much I loved her. How I can no longer live my life if she leaves me again.

If you want a divorce, Jin—then okay”

Before I could watch her turn her back on me again, before she could leave me and never comeback, I grabbed her arms, forcing her to look into my eyes as we both shed tears.

“Hit me” I said weakly, puppeting her arms to hit my chest.

“A-are you crazy?” She whined, struggling to get away from my grip

“Hit me. Hit me again and again until I learn how to tell you how I feel.—

From the day you walked out that door after I said you meant nothing to me, I wanted to tear down every part of Seoul. Every single alley, and every street just to know where you had gone. Seeing you leave knowing you might have had enough. That you might not be coming back scared me. And when I saw you with Mark I wanted to grab you when you didn’t hold on to my arm.—

“S-stop it Jin” you said, not wanting to hear anymore from me as you continued to squirm out of my grip

Gah. From the very first day I saw him smiling at you at the awards night, I didn’t like how uneasy he made me feel; like he was going to take you away from me—

“J-Jin s-stop” you cried this time but I wanted you to hear every thing.

When he ran after you at the Charity Concert, I almost lost it. When he had told me he might lose his decency towards our marriage, had it not been in public, I would not have thought twice about throwing him into a wall.—

A weak smile started to curve up my lips, my tears falling down a little more.

Since the day you stopped sleeping by my side, my nights had become excruciatingly cold. I kept picturing your beautiful face bidding me good night.—

The day you stopping running into my arms and forcing a kiss into my lips, which I always denied, left my day incomplete.”

“I-I don’t want to hear this, Jin” you shook your head from side to side while I continued to speak.

“Baby, please” I pleaded once more, asking you to stop and listen while I held your face.

Finally, you calmed down. Looking at me straight, allowing yourself to cry

“Taking you for granted because I knew you were always going to be there, and having tasted the feeling of having you being taken away from me made me realize—if you had not loved me the way you did, and left—it would have been the biggest regret I’d have to live for the rest of my life.”

Being able to say all the things I’ve kept from you, very gently, I pulled your face closer to mine, closing the gap between our lips.

I felt your hand rest on my chest, returning the kiss with your sweet, cherry lips I missed so much. Licking your bottom lip, you immediately allowed entrance allowing our tongues to dance with each other while our bodies moved as the kiss intensifies.

Suddenly, her back was pressed onto the door of our bedroom. Without breaking the kiss, I twisted the knob open, causing her to gasp and pull on my shirt. Her hands started to tug on my chest, separating our lips in the process. I gave her one last peck before sliding off my coffee colored sweater above my head. My lips found itself on hers again, slowly pushing her onto the bed with her chest halfway exposed as she unbuttoned her work uniform while I was removing my sweater. I continued to kiss her lips for awhile before traveling towards her jaw then her neck. I started to nibble on it at first while I was busy undoing the rest of the buttons of her tight blouse. The first moan came out her mouth as I started to suck on her neck, just below her right jaw. I couldn’t help but smirk. Her skin tasted too sweet.

“Hmm J-Jin” she threw her head back as another moan escaped her throat while my lips traveled lower to her plump breasts, getting rid of her bra rather quickly. Her fingers tangled around my hair as I started sucking on her right nipple, my hands massaging the other. Switching roles, I started moaning on her left nipple causing her to moan a little louder. I felt a tight sensation starting to build up in my lower region. Abandoning her breasts, and moving down her stomach, I frowned at the sight of her short skirt.

“What is it?” she asked, worried.

“Don’t you think this is too short to be worn at work?” I said earning an eye roll.

She began unzipping it by herself, letting it slide down her legs, revealing her black lingerie that matched her bra from earlier. I began unbuckling my belt, getting rid of everything else before ripping of her last piece of clothing.

“Jin!” She yelled, smacking my shoulders.

“I’ll buy you new ones” was all I said, bending down, giving all my attention to her wet woman hood.

Her moans echoed throughout the bedroom, her back arching in pleasure giving me more access for my tongue.

Placing her hips down, I was about to insert one finger inside her when I noticed something—she was untouched.

I stopped to look at her, not wanting to do anything deliberate without her full permission. She nodded slowly, signaling me to proceed.

Tonight, we didn’t only engage ourselves in slow, romantic sex. It was more than that. Something deeper.

We made love.

She snuggled closer to my chest, wrapped around the navy blue sheets, tracing patterns on my skin. I took her hand, placing it on my cheek after kissing it. She began to move higher up the bed, revealing the love marks I made on her neck as she stared into my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

Y/N’s POV

I was busy admiring his chest, shoulders and the rest of what he was until he took my hand, planting a kiss on it before resting it on his face. Something was bothering him so I asked.

“I’m sorry” he said.

“Shhh” I replied, my thumb massaging his lips.

“You and Mark...What happened?” There was doubt within himself as to whether or not he should ask but I’m glad he did.

“I was drunk and he took me to this house” Jin suddenly moved, brows furrowed.

“Did he take advantage of you?” He tried to ask calmly but I knew him to well to know what his reddened ears meant. I shook my head slowly, answering a ‘no’

“He kissed me. I didn’t stop him, but I didn’t return the favor. I couldn’t let him touch me like that. Not while I thought of you”

I felt him pull me closer, kissing me deeply.

Like an unwanted wake up call, my phone beeped. I pulled away from Jin who was annoyed at the sudden interruption.

I opened the message learning it was from Mark.

“Who is it?” He asked as he placed a kiss on my left shoulder.

Instead of telling him and giving him enough time to nag before I could show him the message, I passed my phone to him so he could read it himself.

“Y/N. I’m sorry. Irene wired my room.”

I heard Jin groan in annoyance although I wasn’t sure towards who.

“Jin. Since you know the truth about Mark and I, I just wanted to know....regardless of how I’m going to feel about it, I want you to tell me the truth.”

He stared at me, placing the the phone down.

“What is it?”

“Did you u-um...d-did you and Irene..”

I didn’t have to finish my question. From the look on his face, he already knew. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“Yes and no—

Yes, I touched her. And no, she never touched me. We never went that far. I respected Hitman Bang too much for that.”

I frowned remembering what she told me the night I slapped her.

“But she said you were good in bed” I pouted, making him pull me even closer.

“What do you need to believe her for? You’re the only one who can attest to that” I felt myself blush as he smirked, whispering into my ear.

“Besides, you won’t have to worry about her”

Pushing his chest slightly, I tilted my head giving him a confused look.

“I told her I wanted to be with you and not see her anymore”

I smiled, watching him close his eyes as he laid flat on his back.

“I love you” he said.

“I love you too, Jin” I replied, resting my head on his chest.

Almost a year had gone by and here I was, sweating profusely in front of three boiling pots. After two months of being away, Jin, and the rest of the boys were coming home from tour. I was carefully tasting on each of the pots when I heard the door shut. 

He’s home!

Quickly turning the stove off, I ran towards the front door only to be met with a pair of pulpy lips at the kitchen entrance.

“I missed you. So much.” He said, cupping my face as he pressed his nose agaisnt mine.

“I missed you too, Jin” I replied.

“I have something for you” he said, taking a huge bouquet of flowers from the livingroom.

Ever since we decided to be together again, he started buying me the most beautiful bouquets at random days, all of different flowers. He asked me what my favorite flowers were and I told him I didn’t really have one. Since then, he decided to buy me different bouquets of flowers until I knew which one I loved the most.

“They’re beautiful. Thank you baby” I said, giving him a peck on the lips

“Go take a shower before the boys get here” pushing him towards the bedroom, I went back to go set up the table. We were celebrating my birthday early today instead of tomorrow since Jin wanted it to be just the both of us. After countless begs from the three maknaes, I convinced Jin to invite all of them over for dinner.

I was leaning on the counter, facing the sink, biting my lip, enjoying the conversation I was having with this person when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist.

“That was fast” I giggled, still typing on my phone while he rested his head on my shoulder

“Who are you texting?” He asked, annoyed with a bit of jealousy.

Jin had become a somewhat jealous and possessive husband. In his defense, he said he wasn’t taking anymore chances not after Mark.

“It’s GD oppa. He thought it was already my birthday so he greeted. Look. His girl friend is beautiful”

Jin quickly peeked at the picture, quite curious to see the face of the woman behind GD’s sensational new album called ‘I Found Her’

“Wah. She really is beautiful”

We continued to exchange messages, not really minding Jin for now until I felt his grip tighten around me and hot, soft lips nipping on my skin.

“Jagiya” he whispered

“Hmm?” I replied, typing the last three words of my message

“Baby” he moaned softly.

At that point you knew what he wanted. He only ever called you baby during two circumstances; when he had done something wrong or when he pleaded for something he wanted so bad—sex.

Although you wanted to let him take you right there on the kitchen floor, you just couldn’t have your house smelling like sex, traumatized with the one time you invited Jin’s brother and his girl friend over and having Jin tell you before bed how his brother had teased him about the stain he saw on the couch where you had two rounds of sex before they arrived.

“Not now, baby. The boys are going to be here soon” I said, declining, stretching my neck to the side to allow him more access. That’s when I noticed he was actually shirtless!

“It’s been too long, baby. Just once?” He continued to moan onto my skin, making me soaking wet down there but it was still a no.

“No can do baby. Later after dinner” I said, facing him. He didn’t seem very happy at all with me refusing all his attempts.

“How about this, if you can wait until dinner is over we can go as many times as you want.”

His irritation began fading, considering the deal I just made with him.

“Put on a shirt, they’re going to be here soon” I said, leaning in to give him a kiss.

The next thing I knew, my living room was now being occupied by yelling men on the floor, cursing as they tried to kill each other off the screen. Namjoon and Yoongi sat on the sofa, watching them go for another match after Jin’s third win. Hoseok had just walked out from the kitchen, bringing the bag of rice crispies I handed to him earlier. He liked those things.

“Noonaaaa we need a little help” whined Taehyung, not wanting to lose to Jin again. I giggled softly, gently planting a kiss on the right side of Jin’s lips.

“Ya! Ya! Ya!” 

“Yes!!!!!” Taehyung rejoiced, throwing the controller up into the air while Jin whined how unfair that was.

“Dinner is ready everyone” I said, leading all of them towards the kitchen.

I watched at the scene happening before me. The way we laughed at Jin and Jungkook’s bickering. Jimin’s sparkling eyes as he enjoyed the meal I prepared. Namjoon’s stories from tour and Yoongi and Hoseok inspecting the soup I made, trying to pin point an exact wayto describe it aside from ‘good.’ 

“Mas-issneun” whispered Jin, planting a soft kiss on my cheek.

I couldn’t possibly ask for anything more. This was what happiness meant to me. This was home.

[bangtan]

Inside BTS-mania: A Day in the Life of the K-Pop Superstars

The screaming begins just beyond baggage claim, when the first bob of purple-gray hair peeks up over the security wall separating the biggest Korean pop band in the world, in history, from its fans. Amid shrill hysteria, the seven soft-faced men of BTS stride through Los Angeles International Airport flanked by human trains of burly people in yellow “Event Staff” shirts. The boys smile, wave and, with the efficiency of British royals, slip past a few hundred young women and teen girls into black Escalades, their portal to the heart of the American mainstream. It’s mid-November and BTS have flown here from South Korea, propelled by the fervor of their admirers, a diverse group that calls itself ARMY (short for “Adorable Representative M.C for Youth”). The band is here for a string of high-profile TV appearances: They go from the airport to James Corden; Jimmy Kimmel the next day; then they’ll meet Ellen Degeneres, who’ll compare their U.S. arrival to that of the Beatles in 1964. But BTS are mainly in town to perform their hit song “DNA” at the American Music Awards – a performance that will make them Google’s top trending topic and set a Guinness record for Twitter engagement. Group leader RM (short for “Rap Monster”), 23 and palpably ambitious, compares the whirlwind trip to being “like surfers on a big wave.” But at 9 a.m. the day after BTS land, the vibe is more like “showing up for work.” We’re at a rehearsal studio when AMA reps arrive to shoot promo photos in the parking lot. Bubbly ham J-Hope, 23, an MC and onetime street-dance champ, walks out with his arms up, shouting, “Hello! AMA! Whoa!” The others trickle out with less ado and take turns getting primped, on the asphalt, by a team of stylists also in from Seoul. There’s Jimin, 22, the prettiest yet most puckish, a former top modern-dance student who’s currently shaving his chin while a woman holds a mirror. The perpetually wide-eyed singer V, 21, another art-school kid, who made his screen debut in a Korean historical drama last year, gets his purple-gray bob brushed and parted. A man uses a pick to dislodge something from the teeth of Suga, who like RM started his career as an underground rapper. Lead singer Jungkook, 20, a devout Belieber who joined BTS at 15, gets a streak of eyeliner. Meanwhile, singer Jin, 25, an aspiring actor so handsome he was recruited by a boy-band casting agent while walking down the street, shuffles quietly through the flurry. Their entourage is massive; I lose count in the mid-thirties. There are managers, publicists, a choreographer, a masseur, the interpreter, groomers, folks with cameras, unsmiling guards and several drivers with earpieces. Back home, BTS are pretty much only breaking their own records at this point – for video views, album pre-sales and chart placement – and it’s spilling over to other countries. Their recent EP, Love Yourself: Her, which features a song written with Andrew Taggart of the Chainsmokers, topped iTunes’ album chart in 73 countries, and BTS have become the first Korean-pop group to crack the American mainstream, with a Steve Aoki remix of their “MIC Drop” recently crashing the Top 40. ‪"We are so lucky that we’re living in this time, in 2017,“ says RM, the only one who can carry on a conversation in English. “When we post a tweet, it becomes translated to more than 30 languages.” The group’s lyrics – which are almost entirely Korean but close-captioned on YouTube and translated for sites like Genius – are a big part of its international success. BTS songs tackle issues like depression and anxiety. They promote progressive social ideals like female empowerment and accepting people from different backgrounds. They even address the internal unease of ditching less commercial career paths to become “idols,” as K-pop stars are called. BTS fans appreciate the band’s empathy, honesty, and independence—themes that are particularly in-demand amongst Western pop audiences these days. Plus, BTS set their message to canny hyper-modern production (frequently done by the members themselves) that devours all manner of EDM- rap- and R&B-leaning pop – think Major Lazer, Justin Bieber, DNCE, Logic, the Chainsmokers, Nick Jonas – and spits out a deeply catchy, slightly askew pastiche. After the photoshoot, the guys go in to practice their AMAs routine. From the opening whistle of “DNA,” they are a single-minded, many-limbed organism. Jin, who normally seems like he’s brooding, deploys pouty looks and precise hand jives. They goof around a bit – Jimin grabs Jungkook’s ass after the latter executes a balletic twirl – but are in the zone. An hour later, at 10:40 a.m., they’re chugging water and getting cooled off by women who use their entire bodies to swing paper fans emblazoned with the boys’ own faces. Jin quickly nods off in a rolling chair but is soon awoken by the masseur, who wants to jam an elbow into his shoulder; Jin winces as he does. Minutes later, V is yowling in pain, mouth wide as a handler treats a canker sore inside his cheek. Later, RM will dance with a bloody tissue in his nose – the wages of jet lag and constant hustle add up. An early lunch of cold burgers and fries seems meager compensation, but they eat with abandon. BTS, an acronym for Bangtan Boys (“Bulletproof Boy Scouts” in Korean), was built around RM and finalized via auditions. The group was assembled by a small company – Big Hit, run by songwriter “Hitman” Bang Si Hyuk, who co-founded one of the so-called Big Three agencies, JYP, before leaving it behind – which gives them underdog appeal. And while BTS came through the famously rigorous K-pop system, living in dorms together and training constantly, RM says Big Hit offers relative artistic freedom. To wit, in a unique spin on K-pop fan service, BTS build mythologies around their albums, like last year's Wings, whose theme comes from Hermann Hesse’s 1919 bildungsroman Demian. The concept appears in the lyrics, art and videos. Exactly how these subplots take shape is unclear, but it’s feasible that RM, who reads heady authors like Haruki Murakami and Albert Camus, is involved. “We try to make our own BTS context,” he says. “Maybe it’s risky to bring some inspiration from novels from so long ago, but I think it paid off more. It comes through like a gift box for our fans. That’s something you can’t find easily from American artists.” Instead, he likens it to Star Wars. “The big thing about creating our universe is expandability,” adds Suga, the most contemplative of the group, via interpreter. “Because it draws from our personal lives and interests, we can expand it as much as we want and it’s not alien for us. Having that allows us more diversity in the stories we can tell and the music we can make.” Do they feel free enough to write about Korean politics? RM says they’re working on a song that does so subtly, but Suga cautions that the subject “is fraught with danger, not in a literal way, but because of the risk of being misunderstood by young people who may not have fully developed sensibilities.” He’d rather focus on fostering understanding than “inciting conflict.” The rest of the group stays silent for our midday interview except to shout out ARMY and admit they’re eager for more crossover opportunities. As J-Hope puts it, “It’d be an honor for us to work with anyone.” RM says that, instead of breaking more records, the band’s mission is to promote individuality, which isn’t always encouraged back home. “Especially in Korea, there are all these standards: Get married, go to a nice university.” How will they spread that message? He smiles. “Better music and doper performances.” After selling out arenas in California, Chicago and New Jersey, BTS are planning a bigger U.S. run in 2018. They’re in unprecedented territory. Unlike PSY, their success here didn’t spring from a novelty hit – their rise up American charts was gradual and shows no sign of slowing. While they’ve brushed off the idea of an English-language album in the past, RM dropped English verses on a Fall Out Boy remix and Wale collab this year. At 1:30 p.m., it’s time to get ready for Kimmel. I follow BTS from the dance studio into the hall near their dressing room. There’s a folding table covered with silver rings, flashy necklaces and dangly earrings for the choosing. On the floor is an outsize ziplock full of identical Puma slides. After hair is redone and outfits adjusted, they load into the four Escalades with no fuss at all. As our caravan passes Hollywood Boulevard and turns onto the small street leading to Kimmel’s backlot and outdoor stage, we see them: more than a thousand BTS zealots who explode when they see us. They’d been waiting for hours. Kimmel music producer Mac Burrus later tells me a group of five teens spent two nights out there, on the street, in sleeping bags. In the green room, there is finally downtime. Suga and RM eat bananas. Jin plays his Nintendo Switch. Jungkook and J-Hope sleepily lean into one another on the couch. V lays on the floor to get his neck adjusted by the masseur’s bone-crunching assassin-twist before settling into a sofa to stream “Carpool Karaoke.” Around 4 p.m., producers bring in a couple ARMY moms for a skit where they taunt their girls, who are still in the line, via FaceTime from BTS’ inner sanctum. The daughters eventually come back and I steal them for a chat. Both discovered BTS on YouTube. Adriana, 24, is teaching herself Korean “slowly but surely” so she can hear the boys in their own tongue. Rosa, 18, insists, “Language isn’t a barrier when it comes to music.” At 6:20 p.m., BTS head to the stage. From the back, it sounds like there’s a roller coaster full of shrieking riders on the other side. A grizzled staffer walks by with a kooky grin, muttering, “This is nuts.” From the wings I watch the band rip into a six-song set that inspires face-clutching and tears. For “Save Me,” a “Where Are Ü Now” soundalike, the crowd deploys a coordinated K-pop “fanchant,” roaring each member’s birth name in perfect rhythmic succession. I can barely hear the music, so it doesn’t occur to me until the end that BTS don’t seem to be using vocal backing tracks, as a U.S. or U.K. group might – they rap and sing every last part while doing constant choreography. When it ends just after 7 p.m., an exhausted J-Hope flops onto the asphalt out of view of the crowd and his team, chest heaving, eyes wide. After 30 seconds, he picks himself up and rushes to join the other members of BTS disappearing into the hall leading to the green room. As he turns the last corner, a voice squeals, “Oh, my God! J-Hope looked back at me!”

source

[maeleeme]

HER

Chapter 02: Beginning

A/N: Story also crossposted in AO3 & AFF.

| Inner thoughts in Italics |

Staring at the screen, Namjoon languidly nodded in agreement. Standing at approximately 5’6” was a petite woman with a sun kissed face with soft rounded cheeks and a cute button nose. Her wide-set eyes were like pools of dark chocolate, framed by neatly plucked eyebrows shaped into a perfect arch.  Her lips plump, an attractive rose budded colour which were currently smiling at the camera displaying a set of perfect teeth. She was beautiful… just wasn’t his type.

He glanced at the two members and noticed Jimin so concentrated on the woman. That’s a first… Slowly, a cheshire smile appeared on Namjoon’s face.

“I think our Jiminnie has a crush!” he called out teasingly.

Jimin awkwardly coughed and looked away from the television screen, suddenly caught off guard.

“Just saying she was pretty. That’s all hyung…” he said nonchalantly, shrugging his defined shoulders before picking up the remote and moving the channel into the music chart show he originally was meant to watch before he got distracted.

“It’s not like I’ll ever meet her…” he whispered, not realising Namjoon had heard the whole thing.

Namjoon guffawed, not believing what he had just heard. “What was that Jiminnie?!”

“Ah—ah.. nothing hyung! Just saying how I can’t wait when we starting promoting again soon.” Jimin pointedly indicated towards the screen. Now that wasn’t a lie. BTS were hoping to release an album soon which was to become a part of their chronology.

“Ne.. ne—” Namjoon teased — “You nearly sounded like our international ARMY fans when they compare the limited interaction they get in comparison to our Korean ARMY fans.”

Jimin was about to retort back when Jin-hyung called from the kitchen.

“Dinner’s ready guys! Wash up and come to the table while its still hot!”

“Finally!!” Jungkook yelled out eagerly before rushing towards the kitchen.

To avoid further grilling, Jimin immediately followed the maknae to the kitchen where the rest of the members resided, hoping Namjoon-hyung doesn't bring up the subject again.

Minutes before…

Showtime, Mia thought as the car slowly came to a halt in front of the theatre where the premier was being held, neatly stopping in front of the half a mile red carpet specially set out for this special occasion. Outside, the environment was charged with excitement with one side of the venue consisting with crowds of enthusiastic people lining against the barrier while the other side consisted of press junkets all awaiting behind the winding stanchion with their camera; all set up to interview her and her colleagues. Movie posters were scattered throughout the site and plastered against the railing with the sole purpose to promote the film. A long backdrop could also be seen at the end of the carpet where some of her fellow colleagues were already posing in front of forever hungry paparazzi's.

“Mia…” a voice called out, halting Mia’s admiration of the venue before glancing at Haeun-unnie who was sitting right beside her. Having been in the film industry for only four years, it never failed to astound and surprise Mia of how far she had come and the support she has received and continues to receive from her fans. She was truly honoured and blessed.

“You know me... I don’t mean to pry but what’s happened the past couple of months and what’s happened between you and Rob—“

“Unnie! It’s fine... I’m fine.” Mia insisted. “I just don’t want to waste any more minute mulling over that jerk” — she exasperated  — “I’m just glad I found him out before it got any deeper… does that make sense?” Mia asked glancing at her unnie, her eyes also insisting Haeun to not discuss the subject any further. She was in a good place in her life now.

Slowly nodding her head, “As your manager… but firstly your caring unnie—“ Haeun slowly teased — “I want to make sure you're in a right frame of mind. Specially with all of this going on.” she said seriously while nudging her head towards the chaotic site outside.

Mia gently smiled, “I am unnie… I wouldn’t lie to you now.” she said before cutely sticking her tongue out towards her to break the somber vibe. “I know how you love to report everything to Eomeoni in regards to everything about me. I just wished you wouldn’t go into too much detail… I’m 22 for pit sake! Not an irresponsible teen wilding out painting the whole town red!”

Haeun laughed along with Mia. She preferred this Mia. A carefree Mia. As her first cousin, it hurt her when Mia went through such difficult situations. As a close family member, Haeun knew Mia inside out; before the film offers, the fame, before the million dollar contracts. Heck! she had gotten quite acquainted with Mia when she went through her teen angst years. So when Mia was hurt, Haeun was also hurting. She was like the dongsaeng she never had and likewise, Haeun truly wanted only the best thing for her. 
 Besides Mark who was Mia's younger brother, men has traipsed through her life and caused more hurt than necessary. Sadly started by her own father.

“What’s with the long face unnie? We have no time for your melodramatics tonight!” Mia said teasingly. “My crowd awaits for me!” she shouted dramatically before fluttering her eyelashes and framing her petite face with both hands.

“Araso.. araso. Let’s go hotshot!”

"Just saying!”

Security moved towards Mia’s side of the car before prying the door open. Taking a slow deep breath in advance to calm her racing heart, Mia then gracefully got out of the car and smiled towards the excited audience. 
 Wanting to keep it simple, Mia wore a slim fitting nude dress, held by two thin spaghetti straps upfront before crisscrossing behind her nude back while her jet black hair was expertly tousled up with soft curled ringlets framing her face. For jewellery, she kept it minimal with a pair of diamond earrings and a white gold thin bracelet encasing her left wrist; both of which were gifts from her Eomma and dongsaeng. A little piece of them that she could bring along to this type of events; her own good luck charms. 
To the people around her, she simply looked stunning and elegant.  Screams increased in volume at her entrance and she could just about pick up her name being called out by the swarm of people. She glided towards the carpet before stopping midway between the press and the crowd. As per protocol, she faced the blinding cameras first to pose for the paparazzi to promote the film and when it was finally acceptable to move on, Mia turned and greeted the crowd.

“Hey guys! Thanks for coming along and I hope you guys haven’t been waiting for too long…”

“I will wait till the end of time for you!!!” one man shouted enthusiastically, one hand animatedly waving a magazine with her recent photoshoot cover on; with a marker pen in the other.

Grabbing the pen and the magazine altogether, Mia quickly signed her autograph before returning them back to their rightful owner. “Thank you but you’re too kind.” With one last smile she moved down the red carpet greeting her fans and repeating this same process for the next couple of minutes before Haeun-unnie gently touched her forearm and leaned towards her to whisper in her ear.

“You’ve got a quick interview with Tara from Movie Screen Junk.” Haeun said before nodding her head towards one side of the barricade. Nodding her head to show she was aware of the situation, Mia thanked the current person she was speaking to before moving towards the section where the interviews were specifically being held.

“Good to see you again Tara!”

“And you Mia! I also think that congratulations are in order! Looking at this rowdy crowd and according to reviews from the previews, it looks like you have another award winning film bagged.”

“Thank you but I can’t take all the credit! I’ll have to say that our lovely director John Thompson did such an amazing job showcasing the story. All I did was read the script and hope I did a good enough job portraying the character.” Mia jibed jokingly. “But on a serious note, everyone worked extremely hard in order to feature the story and do it justice. Sometimes it can be difficult to transition a books plot line into film and I think John did an exceptional job. It specially helped that we had the author come along to set and worked along with the actors during the filming process. It specially helped me get into the nitty gritty of my character.”

“I think you did more than read the script…”

The interview went on for a couple of minutes before Mia thanked Tara and was directed by the staff to enter the theatre hall in preparation to preview the film. After two hours of watching herself on screen, Mia decided that she wasn’t prepared for the after party and decided to head straight back to her hotel room alongside Haeun who was extremely happy with the films outcome but more than ready to relax. Both knew that they had busy schedules to fulfil for the next couple of months to promote the film so anytime free was golden in their eyes.

Settling herself comfortably in the car for the drive back to the hotel room, she excitedly shouted at Andrew; her driver for the night to play her ‘jams’. Closing her eyes, she contentedly listened.

Soft piano keys started to play in the background before a soothing hum could be heard then a deep voice started to slowly rap. Yes BTS. Hold me tight! Mia smiled dreamily.

[x-i-l-verify]

Oh Lord I can't recall what exactly was in pt 1 lol. I think the main thing was emphasizing that even yoongiggles said on their reply that they can be considered good IF "they aren't strained", with strain being Leo's (for example) main issue.

For me, what it comes down to is that you don’t “need xyz technique or you’re a bad singer!”, but xyz techniques let you sing in a healthy and comfortable non-damaging way. Hence why the vocal analysis site uses ‘weak’ rather than ‘bad’. *shrug*

[2] to the untrained ear (which includes me thus far) singing strained and singing with resonance sounds pretty similar. The difference is that if my placement is not where it should be, after just a half-hour of singing my throat seriously hurts and I start to crack in the upper registers. If you just sing every now and then it doesn’t much matter; if you’re a pro like Leo who sings constantly, you can damage yourself right quick.            

[3] as for Jungkook, I’m not a big bts fan so I don’t know for sure, but a difference of opinion could arise if someone goes “he’s singing breathy as stylistic choice!” and someone else goes “but I’ve never heard him sing not breathy, so what makes you think he’s making a stylistic choice?” like the voice analysis guy gave A+ singer Sandeul a few notes he previously thought he couldn’t support when he did hear them supported in a performance. “ah, it was stylistic choice before, being breathy”  

[4] also worth noting about kpopvoiceanalysis is that a lot of the analysis are years old. Jin, for example, keeps improving; and Leo sounds less strained these  days as well! (musicals did him well, lol)

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See, that’s what I don’t get, though. Admittedly, I don’t listen to a whole lot of live performances by Kpop idols, comparatively speaking, but any technical issues with their voices that I’ve heard I always chalked up to the absolutely brutal choreo that goes along with with almost every performance. I’m currently taking vocal lessons myself, and I know for a fact that I would sound out of breath and strain a lot when I sang, too, if I had to sing and dance at the same time. Now, I’m sure there are people who can do it easier than others, and I know that at least some singers get training for how to sing and dance simultaneously, but still. A lot of times, I think people are way too harsh on idols for their live singing when it involves really intensive choreo, which groups like VIXX and BTS are known for. Now, when they’re just standing still and singing, that’s a different story. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons Leo sounds different when he’s doing his musicals? He doesn’t have to move around as much, so he can employ better singing technique, and maybe his fellow actors gave him some pointers, too. Because in the live performances where Leo is just standing there and singing, he always sounds amazing, like in his King of Masked Singer performances. The analyses aren’t that old, though? I think the blog started in 2014, but the analyses for V, Jungkook, Ken, and Leo at least were all done in 2016, so it wasn’t that long ago. I do agree that everyone keeps improving, however, and I’m glad about that. :D

And to me, there’s a big difference between not always using “proper technique” (which, from what I can tell, are guidelines for singing more than hard and fast rules) or having a relatively smaller range, and being a shit singer. Which basically forms the basis of why the kpopvocalanalysis blog tends to grind my gears in a lot of cases. I think it’s the way that blog words things that annoys me, not that they’re doing vocal analyses in and of themselves. It would be one thing if they were to just point out what different singers could do to improve their technique and their voices, I’d have no problem with that (because lbr, everyone has areas they can improve in, no matter how long they’ve been singing), but they have to bring ranking into things. They do use “weak” rather than “bad” for the lowest ranking, it’s true, but to be honest, when the highest ranking is “excellent,” they might as well just change “weak” to “bad” and save themselves the pretense. There’s a big difference between how “This person’s a great singer, but they could get even better if they improved X, Y, and also Z” and “This person’s a piss-poor vocalist and here’s a long list of all the myriad ways they suck and all the things they need to fix before they can even think about playing with the big boys” are phrased, and the wording on that blog tends to come across as falling into the latter, unless the singer metaphorically sucker punches the writers across the face with their vocal prowess. That may not be what they meant, but that’s how it comes across, at least to me.

I mean, I’ve seen people call Adele, one of the highest-selling artists on the planet, a bad singer because she’s self-taught and doesn’t use proper technique 100% of the time when she sings. Adele. Who has one of the best voices I’ve ever heard. Could her technique improve? Probably, sure. Would I consider her a bad singer? Not in this or any other universe. And as you said, sometimes people do things like vocal cracks or straining or singing more breathily for a stylistic or emotional effect, so you can’t call someone a poor vocalist just because of their preferred style of singing.

But eh, I dunno. Like I said, I love music and I love singing, but I’m still a noob to the technical side of things, so my opinion counts for very little in the grand scheme of things. I just get prickly when people who have some of the nicest voices my ears have been blessed to hear get told they’re no good at singing because of seemingly arbitrary reasons like singing style or vocal range. *cough*Jin*cough*